#but kugrash isn’t

[andrewologist]

thinking about Pete losing his dad twice, once after coming out and again after sending him to Nod. thinking about Kingston wanting a son and thinking Pete called him Dad. thinking about Kingston hurting Pete and all the times they saved each other. thinking about Kugrash calling Pete “kid,” about the years he didn’t have with his kids. thinking about Kugrash standing up for Pete, and about Pete giving him one last conversation with his kids.

[skateboard-of-sickness]

Unsleeping City Quotes I Like

“Magic is Real and you get to see it. Isn’t that great?” -Misty Moore

“Sometimes you gotta do the nice thing, not the right thing” -Kingston Brown

“You know, just kind of when you’re already in a shame spiral and then people are good to you, it almost stings a little bit worse.” -Pete Conlan

“Things are not always what you want them to be, and they’re not always what you dream they are. Things are what they are.” -Jackson Wei 

“It does not diminish a soul to give worship or adoration”-Nod

“Being the founder is not the same as being a leader” -Nod

“You’re not done yet kid. Come on. We got work to do” -Kingston Brown

“You’d have to be a real asshole not to recognize when someone is trying to not be a piece of shit in general. And I don’t know that we’re good, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not good. And… I guess you’re worth helping.” -David Kugrich

“Because honestly if you don’t show up now, there might not be anyone to fuckin’ choose ever again. So then you’ll have had this little gift you could have given to someone, this little ‘choosing’ you could have done, and you will never do it to anyone. It’s like letting food go bad, I hate when people let food go bad.” -Sofia Lee

“The true spirit of this place is to meet dreams with concrete. To hustle in the muck and the grime, and to grind away to make something miraculous happen, and that the spirit of this place is that these people make it happen for themselves.”-Brennan Lee Mulligan about NYC

“There is nothing more in the spirit of this place than to rely on nobody but yourself to decide that you will be chosen.” -Brennan Lee Mulligan about Sofia Lee

“You want to be someone’s everything, and you’re everybody’s everything. Made it real hard to feel special.” -Liz Herrera 

“I can’t visit everybody. That’s also because not everybody is worth visiting.” -Kingston Brown

“Just because I have to be something for everybody doesn’t mean I can’t be something more for you.” -Kingston Brown

“If somebody would fuckin’ teach me how to do magic, I’d come help you whoop ass. I’m from the fuckin’ Bronx” -Liz Hererra

“I can’t have what you’re offering me, and that’s my fault. But American Dreams change.” -Kugrash

“My Love. For you are my love. My one true love. You don’t need to enter, for you’re already there. And you don’t need to be real because you already are real.” -Rowan Berry to the American Dream

“Dreams changing with the minds of their dreamers, is the most beautiful aspect of dreams. When you look to see the true form of this, what you see is that a dream this important and this large needs to be able to change. And its true form, is any and every form that people want from it. And if it is pushed back through the golden door, into the realm where it can have any form that people give to it, that is where it will have its true form. So the answer to your Nat 20 is that the only good form for a dream is formless.” -Brennan Lee Mulligan about the American Dream

“It is what it is”-Dale “And what it is, is anything”-Nod

“Greed is good, for rat motherfuckers like Robert Moses. But not in our town, not in our fucking city!” -Kugrash

“Pain is a part of healing. And the things we’ve lost should hurt. But it does not mean that we are defeated or they will hurt forever.” -Em from Bethesda Fountain

“These sacrifices are never made in vain. All these people, their lives are our lives, and ours are theirs. All intertwined together. I think that’s kinda beautiful.” -Em

“It’s not really what happens, but it’s your reaction to it and how you feel, that’s what you should pay attention to.” -Pete Conlan

[mischieffoal]

Kugrash; Rat Jesus; Bruce Kugrich; you know him, you love him - is a repressed, closeted, gay man. In this essay I will… tell you why I think that, I actually wrote the essay. (It’s not an essay it’s a long text post, it doesn’t have an introduction or a conclusion or citations don’t come for me)

Anyway, I’ve just finished The Unsleeping City chapters 1 and 2 and Kugrash has infested my brain and wormed his slimy way around my heart. I don’t need to proselytise him, if you’re reading this post you already understand the appeal of a crusty, washed-up rat bastard of a terrible father who’s trying to make up for everything he’s ever done. What I particularly loved about him was that he is gay-coded in such a specific way that it makes the poor little meow meow of it all even worse. Was it on purpose? I doubt it. But it certainly is there. 

(I doubt it was on purpose because the joy of D20 is that all the characters are kind of just pan unless specified otherwise and homophobia is only a thing that villains do in the first five minutes of a character’s introduction. So it’s like, I doubt Murph did this on purpose because he’s probably just being very queer friendly and it comes across this way because of the Kugrash of it all)

Evidence that I remembered to write down is as follows: 

Perry the Pigeon

Kug doesn’t actually want to date Perry, but he doesn't object to going to the wedding with him/sort of leads him on/definitely flirts with him/tries to let him down nicely. 

Murph did just choose the name Perry at random. Could have been a girl pigeon, but no. 

Perry is serious about Kugrash. Like, “still mourning him” serious. 

Perry isn’t only into Kug, he is an established gay pigeon who later marries another man (/rabbit)

2. The Kugriches

When the other PCs tell Wally there’s a pigeon with a crush on his dad, Wally immediately asks “What’s his name?”

Wally and David’s mum is out of the picture. David said that Bruce abandoned them when Wally really needed him, which I think implies she’s been gone since before Kugrash was cursed. Why? Who knows, Bruce was a bastard in many ways - but if his sexuality was so obvious that their son can only imagine his dad dating a male pigeon, it was probably obvious to Bruce’s ex. 

3. Lowell Masters

Kingston: finds out Lowell can Identify things by sticking them up his ass Kingston, two seconds later, pointing at his good friend Kugrash: “This man, what is this man?" Lowell: gives Kugrash an ass jacket Kugrash: “Yeah, yeah, sure thanks, appreciate it.”  Kugrash: “I smell like lube now instead of trash.” Kugrash: “We’ll link up at some point”

4. The totems

All men. When the Intrepid Heroes came up with what their totem animals would be in an Adventuring Party, they weren’t particularly gendered, but weren’t sentient either, so who knows what that’s worth

Perry (see Point 1)

The campest unicorn you’ve ever seen or heard in your life

5. Best friends with a hairdresser

6. “You goddamn beautiful boy, you fucker, you absolute arsehole.” I get it, Kug. Ricky does it to us all. 

To me, all of this implies Kugrash is gay, but quietly. He’s certainly not out-and-proud like Pete is, but his children know. Did he tell them or was it obvious? I don’t think Kugrash knows. I think he’s closeted to no-one but himself. A business man in the 1980s isn’t the most likely guy to have searched his soul for any sexual deviancy, and since then he’s been very busy being depressed/ashamed/a literal rat in the sewers. Misty and Kingston do a lot of work to pull him out of the underground and actually talk to human beings again. They know he’s gay, from the things they say about him (see in particular Point 3: Lowell Masters). I don’t think Kugrash would have ever had a “gay awakening” or a “gay panic” if he’d stayed on the mortal plane, I doubt his sexuality would be that shocking or confusing - I just don’t think he’s noticed. 

Being cursed into a ratman gives you the space to learn all sorts of things about yourself, and if that doesn’t quite work, you can always eat an everything bagel and become omniscient, when you can finally realise that Bruce Kugrich was in fact gay the whole time.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. 

[namesnamesandmorenames]

If there’s ever kugrash merch that I don’t buy (and isn’t insanely insanely expensive) just know that I’m dead

[sempiosoysauce]

anyone who ever loved unsleeping city ever NEEDS to listen to rainbow connection from the fucking. muppet movie (trust me) and new york i love you but you’re bringing me down by LCD Soundsystem (this one works best if you’ve seen chapter 2 but it works well w just season 1)

sometimes i turn on one of these two songs to just Think about unsleeping city because as someone who was also born and raised in a massive city that i love with my whole heart and soul it just makes me so full of emotion and i recommend this experience wholeheartedly. my thoughts and feelings about my city are so complicated and the unsleeping city is genuinely the only piece of media ive ever seen that really Got it. cities can feel so heartless and massive but also so magical and fantastic and full of life and hope. possibilities. big cities are about dreams and people and communities, but that means that they can’t stop themselves from changing, for better or for worse. ricky and iga and alejandro and the immigrant experience, the joy and beauty and family and community that a city can be for those who dare to dream. when puck tells misty to remember who her people are, he doesn’t understand that fairy was never hers, that the city is where she feels safe and free and alive. kingston’s elderly mother making him breakfast each morning and sneaking tupperwares into his pockets. it is a beautiful thing.

and sometimes you have to watch that beautiful this killing itself so slow as things and people change, watching the places you love close and the people in power steal them away from under you, when the city feels hostile and too big and lonely. kingston and iga walking around as the new york that they love feels like it’s getting stolen out from underneath them, as stores close or family becomes distant, being confused and hurt and sad as what they remember becomes fainter and the people around them forget what it once was. kingston being willing to kill pete if it means the city will be safe, leaving liz behind, choosing new york over the individual people around him ten times out of ten because it isn’t even a question; the betrayal he feels when epona attacks him in the subway. cody throwing ninja stars at billboards and yelling at construction workers because his mall is going to be destroyed and that’s his world. pete scrolling through his phone with a slice of pizza. sofia doing anything she can to invite people over or avoid going home, because her home is empty. sofia failing to fight the angels to get her husband back because he needs to watch the deer, cutting off her family because they’ve betrayed her so deeply. kugrash reading the letter in david’s office. cities really are easy to hate sometimes, because not every person and community is kind or good or noble, but there’s an illogical and impossible loyalty you feel even when it feels like the buildings will fall down and crush you, covered in this sick oppressive system on a hallowed holy ground, artificial and dirty and so big it’ll swallow you whole. and sometimes you have to accept that things are how they are, but you know that somewhere in here is the ability to fight and change and grow and be together and support one another- pete and nod at the diner and the museum, kingston opening his apartment so pete can get back on his feet, pete saving priya from the burning building and forgiving kingston on the train, ricky refusing to be anything but a good person even when things suck; kugrash traveling around nod on wally’s shoulders and saying it’s okay that you don’t forgive me and driving with esther to see her mother in the park and eating the bagel because even though he was horrible before he wants to be better and he believes he can be; everyone giving their spells to help alejandro catch the train and save nod; saving santa and willy and em and the art show guests and the bodega customers and la gran gata not because they have to but because they can. and while there are never easy solutions, justice can be served and your dreams can become reality- pete taking control of his reality, making his body and his magic his own; rowan talking to the american dream, you are my love and my only true love; sofia at the empire state building- there really is something up there if you go up to look for it, there are people who will fight with you, it is what it is and it is what it could be- the city is almost impossible to love if you aren’t aware that it loves you back, and it does, it does, it does.

[rooolt]

Rank the 7 intrepid heroes seasons from worst to best: FH, FHSY, TUC, ACOC, TUC2, ASO, & NA

Kill your darlings

JOKES ON YOU VEE IVE DONE THIS MANY TIMES IN MY HEAD, ITS SO EASY

*disclaimer that I am not attacking anyone who likes the things I don’t, literally no one yell at me*

7. ACOC - I feel like I’ve been pretty transparent that acoc just like isn’t my genre. Not a fan of lower magic, not a fan of fantasy politics, and it really stressed me out to a point where I really can’t watch it. I also just like got really annoyed at ruby and amethar post jet death and I’m still bummed we didn’t get more time with lapin. Solid Murph character this season, not his best work tho

6. NVA - also been pretty transparent with my thoughts about this season, I don’t handle horror well and I feel like it just got too convoluted at points. Sometimes it felt like it was just trying to do too much so some plot lines got rushed weird, but a lot of the pcs were super fun. Big fan of the Murph character this season, big fan of guys who are the worst

5. TUC2 - I feel like you specifically will be mad at me for this but like, idk it just doesn’t reach the highs of some of the other seasons for me. I liked a lot of it dont get me wrong, but a lot of Sofia’s plot line specifically to me just felt like a lot of talking. I know it’s all talking but that’s the easiest way I can describe it. I do not think this is a bad season, I like it a lot, I just like the others better, plus the roll 20 combat just wasn’t as engaging to me I’m sorry to say. 10/10 Murph character this season, I love my awful guy, he’s so New Jersey coded.

4. TUC - this was a tough decision for me and fantasy high’s nostalgia factor just beat it out, but genuinely TUC is such a beautiful story and I really really like it. I prefer this one to tuc2 because it feels much more on track idk and it’s just great to me. Kugrash’s story like means so much to me and I ugly cried the first time I watched the finale.

3. FH - An amazing start to a great show. I love high school settings I’m sorry I love teenagers (not that the fh teenagers are very teenagery but we can pretend) and it’s just so memorable to me I know the name of every episode and every fight in order this is what kicked off my dnd special interest it has such a deep place in my heart I adore it so. Riz Gukgak is the best character to ever be created.

2. FHSY - I like it better than the first season because of the deeper explorations of the characters and also Ayda Aguefort my girlfriend appears. Not much to say about it that I haven’t already said about fantasy high but I think it just benefits from these characters and their relationships already being set up. Once again, riz gukgak is the best character to ever be created and this was really his season

ASO - SEASON OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!! It’s so fun it’s so great I don’t care about the plot because I could’ve watched these amazing characters do just smash and grabs for like 50 episodes. The feeling of being back in the dome was electric, this was the first season d20 combats REALLY hooked me and just it was so laugh out loud funny and the rolls were so exciting and also it’s my mommy’s favorite season so bonus points. I only wish perfect television like this wasn’t tainted because of all the stupid slug arguments because oh my god people needed to calm down. I would be straight for Big Barry Syx

[propersydny]

good morning, more teen high defenders content for you :

hero not knowing she’s the chosen one and being told it either by a mayor acolyte or by the kiddads as they argue over whether or not it’s time to use her, and hero being so thrown and going to the other girls and having to be consoled ( which i think erica would do the best of while margarita shouted things about destiny being bullshit )

but also consider, if hero does know, then she’s the one helping jenny and stacy to get caught up in what is really going on bc margarita and erica already have been dealing with this shit for a minute ( like kingston and kugrash explaining things to pete and sophie a la unsleeping city )

either way, the girls all agreeing that destiny and prophecy are bullshit and no one can decide your path for you because if they did, what tragedies does that mean were meant to happen. like stacy and margarita would hate those ideal because that would mean their loved ones were suppose to die which is bullshit, and hero very much isn’t a fan of it, because she may be anime obsessed like taylor but she doesn’t have the same ideals as him about being a main character - she’s happy being the side character and doesn’t want a huge role, so being told that she is fated to go up against the doodler like, she will try and fight that with her last breath

i sit and i think about them

[zenzaaaaaaaaaaaa]

For my money:

Dream and Cody: would just vibe, maybe make bizarre and unhinged passes at figuring out the wattpad handle of the other. I think they would be just. so deeply awkward.

Sofia and Ostentatia: either everyone in a mile radius dies as they square off, wishes they were dead from the sheer petty energy, or it is a dedicated girls night. so many choices, all of them good. i would love to see it

Lapin and Gerard: same shit as always. weird royals messing up social cues and running into combat? Lapin’s tuesday. strange, pedantic men cursed to be confections or animals? Gerard’s tuesday. it’s tuesday and they are having a lovely time politely bitching to each other

Fabian and Kugrash: they’re both so unhinged that I think they would just roll with it. Fabian is probably just glad Kug isn’t a sexy rat, but instead an accidentally deadbeat former embezzler. Kug is just happy to have somebody to hang with

Dan Fucks and the Lords of the Wing: run bitch. run further. further than that. they’re doing it nastier than you knew could happen and they’re looking for joiners. and if you don’t join, you’re a catfish and you’re watching.

another d20 poll bc i like making u decide things. some of these pairings are actually unhinged

[mongeese]

Oh man as a born New Yorker it almost made me cry hearing Kugrash deny the force of greed in New York City and then the first things happening after the danger past is someone vomiting and saying how much they love this place. It’s so New York and it’s so perfect. I fucking love this city indeed, random guy who isn’t even from here

[cramdaniel]

Honestly the only time Murph didn’t make my fave character of a campaign in D20 is Theo in ACOC. Not that I don’t love Theo, he isn’t my fave. My number fave of that game is a tie between Jet & Ruby. But literally every other game, it’s Murph. Riz, Barry, Cody, Kugrash, and now Gerard. He’s just SO GOOD at making amazing boys whom I love.

Hmmm this calls for a poll

[warmleftovers]

if i had a nickel for every time i enjoyed a piece of media that had parents reconnecting with their adult children and a bagel of all things…

[skateboard-of-sickness]

D20 Incorrect quotes PT 3!!!

Fantasy High

Someone to Fabian: You are.. 16 years old Fabian: And that means I can’t say Papa?

Adaine: I’m not judging them for their fashion, I’m judging them for being bitches

Someone to Adaine at some point: A clean room doesn't matter if you're dead

Kristen: Dipped, crucified— what’s the difference?*

Kristen abought Ragh: He feels like a guy that would like sucking dick.

TUC

Pete: I am competent, I am intelligent, and I say booty

Kugrash: Oh… that paper was crunchy

Kingston: I don’t want to hear a white redhead sing

Dr. Lugash: Did your boob just fall off?

Sophia to Pete: You  thought this cat’s name was cummin? That’s cumin– dude, do you not cook?

Neverafter

Rosamund: Why are you standing like that? Gerard: This is my human stance!

Timothy Goose: I can feel my bones! Pib: Meow**

Pinicchio: Bald isn’t a minority

Ylfa: It’s not a neeeew thing, it’s just a baaaaad thing.

Mentopolis

Dan about Conrad: He’s the perfect size to chuck

Burrow’s End

Lila to Jaysohn: *while patting his head* Your head’s a little drum 

Ava: Listen, if I had to be traumatized as a child, then they have to be traumatized too, okay?!

Aabria: “Aabria to Erika: No!”***

Tula: Lila is like a pillow, Jaysohn is more like a curtain rod

*Dipped in this means left, not physically dipped in a substance

**This has context for why it was said, but more important is that the response from a human was not Meow, but instead impeccable timing from a needy cat

***Said when I was dming a minisession with a PC and had to OOC tell my player no

[epzilonzx]

Just finished The Unsleeping City Season 1 ahaha…

Gonna go cry now ahaha…

[jrwiyuri]

Everyone in this campaign is sad as shit. Guess that’s what New York is all about tho 🥰

[sanssheriff13]

Shana tova here’s my dimension 20 jewish headcanons courtesy of the really long service I sat through rotating all of them in my head (btw all lighthearted feel free to change or add)

Fantasy High: Kristen no doubt, she’s a convert. Riz because his relationship with his mom is definitely jewish. Jawbone who isn’t super active, and Tracker who’s very into jewish mysticism. Shellford I couldn’t tell you why but he is.

Unsleeping City: Kugrash I had a hard time deciding. He’s either Catholic or Jewish I could go either way. That’s with most of them tbh. Dale’s jewish. Perry the pigeon has to be. He just has to it’s in my heart. Willy is. He’s literally a golem. Misty is sooooo Jewish but Rowan is not. Cody is, this guy definitely went to Jewish summer camp and probably had a traumatizing experience tbh but like once you go it’s in your blood ya know?

I did not watch Escape from the Bloodkeep, Tiny Heist, Pirates of Leviathan, or Shriek Week so these are up to interpretation.

Crown of Candy: the whole season is not Jewish. At all. Maybe Gooey cause she’s hot but that’s it. Not feeling it.

The Seven: OSTENTATIA.

Misfits and Magic: none of them but I don’t mind.

Mice & Murder: I don’t really remember this one. All of them, none of them, they’re all silly little guys so I could go however.

Starstruck Odyssey: Gunnie is a little bar mitzvah boy. The Barrys, I feel it in my soul. BAMBI AND PLUG. Riva tbh. Sadie Zeb and the other sisters were those girls at every single bat mitzvah who are tall skinny and wears the spaghetti strap dress and all flock together.

Coffin Run: canonically Aleksandr. Florina, of course. Granny Dalca, I think.

A Court of Fey and Flowers: Viscountess Grabalba. Lords of the Wing because I love them and they are the only ones who I get even a little bit off of ya know?? The others (maybe maybe the unseelie court) I couldn’t imagine I think.

[thepringlesofblood]

Dimension 20 Campaigns Rated By The Amount Of Mice/Rats

(chronological order)

disclaimer: I have not seen Shriek Week, Dungeons and Drag Queens, or The Unsleeping City s2.

for all of these except the last, I command + F’d through their transcripts on the wiki for the terms “rat” “rats” “mice” “mouse” and “rodent” to find the relevant data.

the reason I didn’t do TUC s2 is a. from watching the first season I can intuit a similar level of mouse/rat content in this setting, if slightly lessened rat action due to the lack of a rat PC, and b. laziness. consider all of TUC under the same umbrella

i don’t know what’s wrong with me either.

Fantasy High - 7.5/10. the introduction of Sexy Rat into the d20 canon is iconic. we also have the rat that the sexy rat was created for - Edgar, Zayn Darkshadow’s cute lil plot-relevant pet rat. Not much mice/rat content outside of this, but a beautiful beginning.

Escape from Bloodkeep [update: I watched this while waiting for the fhjy finale, it’s fucking spectacular] - 1/10. aside from Erika Ishii occasionally saying “aw, rats,” there’s only one minor instance of rat action, this quote from Master Ipskix in ep 1 - “We're training little ants and beetles to carry little swords and sharp things, and crawl in, and you know when you get a rat to eat through someone's stomach and come to the other side, we're trying to cover the rats in spikes.” There is a nice moment of Sokhbarr and Leiland collaborating on rat enrichment, but overall the main “creepy” animals this season were spiders (fair) and J’er’em’ih

The Unsleeping City - 10000/10. rats every episode. rat PC. rat NPCs. MULTIPLE combat eps with not only rat swarms but a rat KING. impeccable. kugrash my belovéd. true rat positivity. rights for rats. the height of rat content in dimension 20.

Tiny Heist - 6/10. Solid rodent presence in the form of Tony Manchego, a mouse supporting NPC who is basically Boomer’s main coworker. Several other mice/rats also appear as Felix Flick henchmen (henchpeople?). Not a main focus, but decent background presence. I don’t recall any good/cool rats/mice though, they’re all goons of some kind.

A Crown of Candy - 0.5/10. in ep3 Brennan uses the phrase “Everyone thinks we're rats.” to explain political negotiations w the dairy isles. you know it’s rough when the only mention of rats is its use as a pejorative. the 0.5 is for the incredibly gratuitous cheese content. No actual mice, but that counts for something in my book. also Lapin is a bunny, which is another kind of rodent. This is the only possible framework in which ACOC could be described as “disappointing"

Dimension 20 Live aka Fantasy High: Sophomore Year - 6/10. The thrilling return of Sexy Rat. Sadly this is the only significant mouse/rat content this season, but what a banger!

Pirates of Leviathan - 9/10. Another excellent rat-person PC. Jack Brakkow is revolutionary. we love a grimy king. not much else in terms of mouse/rat content though, and Jack’s rattiness isn’t discussed as much as kugrash’s is. there is a character deadass named “Cheese” though.

Mice and Murder - 9.5/10 it’s in the title. No PCs though, surprisingly, which is the main reason this isn’t 10/10. they went more for diversity in animals with this one and tbh it works really well, but also means that despite the title, it’s really Fox and Racoon and Javelina and Weasel and Owl and Doberman Pinscher and Murder. The mice/rats they do have are dope though. Both of the McCabbages are vibrant and interesting, and of course Rosalind Crumb showing her ass is iconic. Thomas Gilfoyle is classic suspicious butler, Carolyn Dickory and Edwina Thimble wind up being extremely important, Molly Milton and Millie Molton are peak Brennan weird naming convention as well as a lesbian power couple, and there’s a variety of other Loam Hall staff that are mice (and they all have wild names like Tessa Teapot and Alfred Honeyhatch). I know that moles aren’t mice/rats, but shoutout to Mrs. Molesly, a real one start to finish.

Misfits and Magic - 7/10. this probably shouldn’t be as high as it is, but I am incapable of not ranking mismag as high as possible, it is what got me into dimension 20 and I LOVE it. K’s amazing cinderella scene at the end is one of the highlights of the series, and they also use mice/rats as surveillance sometimes. Theodore is a chipmunk, not a mouse/rat, but still points for other prominent rodentia. the K fucked-up-disney-princess stuff only has mice/rats a few times, but it’s just so iconic.

The Seven - 0/10. Absolutely zero mouse/rat content. Rip. They went hard on horse girl content (respect), so it makes sense that there was less room for mice/rats. again, the only measurement by which this series could be considered a disappointment, I fuckin love the seven.

Shriek Week - 0.5/10. A “rat man” is mentioned briefly as a one-off gag.  Exhilarating. occasionally, the clicking of a computer mouse is inserted as a sound effect.

A Starstruck Odyssey - 2/10. in Ep. 12, there is discussion of “skiff rats” and rat poison that makes your head explode. This is a very important memory from Skipper’s past, but the emphasis is on the rat poison, and on the consequences of the mass poisoning, not really on the rats themselves. in Ep. 11, when describing a room Brennan says “The walls piled high…with bright blue animatronic mouse heads with the eyes torn out” however this is the only mention of them in the episode. There is one mention to the concept of a computer mouse (Ep. 10), and on several occasions, the sound of a computer mouse clicking can be heard as a sound effect.

Coffin Run - 5/10. in the finale, rat swarms try to eat Dracula. A thrilling moment. other than that, in Ep. 1 we have the quote, “This letter then goes across the ocean in a rat-infested ship”, and in Ep. 5 wetzel accidentally eats some rat poison. highlighted quote: “If we connect all the rats together, can we get a rat king?”

A Court of Fey and Flowers - 0.25/10. in Ep. 4 Mickey Mouse is mentioned, in the context of Hob’s state of dress - “You're either a Donald Duck or a Mickey Mouse” - Oscar Montoya. It’s 0.25 because fuck disney. bit of a missed opportunity, mice can typically fall into the “cute woodland creatures that live in/around fairies” category, and there were so many mentions of trash this season, I was really hoping we’d get some rat action. lacking that, I was hoping a salt goblin would be described as being the size of a mouse, but no such luck. rip. Again, the only disappointing aspect of this campaign, ruehob aka battlemaster of ceremonies is one of the only happy positive romances I’ve seen with a nonbinary person and as an enby myself, the idea that a brennan lee mulligan character could find someone like me attractive is. very validating.

Neverafter - ?/10. it’s not done yet (post written 12/28/22), but things are looking promising so far! we’ve had several mouse swarms, and a whole miniature town of mouse NPCs, plus many descriptions of pib eating mice. if a similar level of mouse/rat content continues, I project a 7.5/10 at the very least

UPDATE: final rating for Neverafter - 8/10. nothing ever managed to match the chaotic rodent energy of earlier episodes, but still a very solid showing. Rosamund’s swarm is a fairly consistent source of rats/mice, though she more often calls upon her “little birds,” and Pib continues to eat mice on occasion. We did have several later season mouse appearances; Aesop has the famous lion and the mouse, and the Land of Beasts is mentioned as being full of mice (among other animals). The Mouse King (from the Nutcracker) appears on the list of the Council of Kings (after being described briefly in Herr Drosselmeyer’s memories in one of the very first episodes). The song “Three Blind Mice” is mentioned several times, with Ylfa saying it is her “favorite story”. Tom Thumb mentions that he “hang(s) around with a lot of mice.” We learn that Pib turned an ogre into a mouse in his backstory. Other prominent rodentia do appear, most notably Pib’s fellow trickster, the Rabbit. Overall, a lot of excellent mouse content early on, with a handful of smaller appearances in the mid to late season.

UPDATE: The Ravening War - 0/10 Not a mouse or rat to be seen, not even a mention. and unlike ACOC, there are no other prominent rodentia to save them. Lady Amangeaux is described as “Jessica Rabbit as a mango” but given than not even Jessica Rabbit is a rabbit, I do not count this. considering the amount of times rot and mold are mentioned, I was hoping a rat might skitter away from a pile of garbage at some point. no such luck. the only point that I would even consider as related to mice/rats would be the amount of cheese content, as we have both a cheese person PC (in this house we love Colin Provolone) and a semi-prominent cheese person antagonist. however, I would say this averages out to considerably less cheese content than ACOC, which has several cheese person NPCs, including lesbian icon Annabelle Cheddar, Manta Ray Jack, Sir Morris Brie, and prominent antagonist Stilton Curdeau, plus a whole battle with ships made of cheese, plus a whole battle with cheese people (though dressed as meat people) as primary antagonists. thus, I cannot in good conscience award TRW any points for that when it made up only a portion of ACOC’s 0.5 of a point. I greatly enjoyed TRW, but not for mice/rat reasons.

UPDATE: Dungeons & Drag Queens, Mentopolis, and the promising beginnings of Burrow’s End

DNDQ - 0/10. No mention of mice or rats. honorable mention to Alvin, a chipmunk who I would call a semi-prominent rodent. I only watched half of the 1st ep* but my usual command + F of the transcripts yielded no results.

*no shade to the queens, this season just didn’t work for me specifically, I have a thing where when I know the rules to something watching people learn them/not know them is like. chalkboard screech. it’s the autism I think. so as much as I love the queens & their characters I just couldn’t watch the actual show. 

Mentopolis - 0/10 understandable as canonically the only animal in Mentopolis is Justin. in absence of any mouse/rat characters, I was hoping for perhaps a mouse/rat fact from The Fix, but i really can’t complain about the myriad of animal facts in this season in good conscience. they were many and varied and I am very grateful. still no mice/rats though. Birds, snakes, and their “prey” are discussed, which mice can certainly be. For example, the heat pits on a python’s lips that Ronnie mentions can be used to detect warm-blooded animals like mice, rats, and other small rodents. But as no rodent is directly mentioned it will not be counted. perhaps next time a reptile eating a mouse will be mentioned, or one of my fave rodent factoids, “a mouse’s heartbeat is so fast that to the human ear it just sounds like buzzing,” will be included.

Burrow’s End - ?/10 I have high hopes but did you know that stoats are actually not rodents??? neither are badgers, otters, wolverines, or pine martens. rodents are all vegetarian - they’re (obvs) in the order Rodentia, so they can’t be in the order Carnivora. so far we have strong chipmunk presence (that’s 3 campaigns with important chipmunks!), and a variety of “woodland animals”, so I remain optimistic.

UPDATE: final score for Burrow’s End - 1.5/10. frankly appalling lack of mice & rats given the setting. occasionally (as in 2-3 times in the series) a mouse or rat will be mentioned in passing, but the only rodents the gang actually interact with are rabbits and chipmunks. I’m guessing that’s probably bc stoats are specifically known for hunting rabbits, so mice/rats would be too small of a prey animal for them? plus the watership down allusions. and then of course we have the horrifying chipmunk/bear battle. credit for the few rat mentions and rodent presence in general, but this isn’t the rodent post, it’s the mice and rats post.

Fantasy High: Junior Year - ?/10 I am terrified. there’s a set of antagonists called the Rat Grinders. well, at least we know there will be rats! Zayn also reappears and with him a mention of Edgar the rat, a fantastic character. potentially...could there even be mention of the original, iconic, sexy rat? we shall see!

UPDATE (5/29/24): final score for FHJY - 8.99/10 fucking spectacular. not only do we get multiple mentions and a partial reappearance of the OG icon, Sexy Rat, but we get the Rat-ettes, the Rat Grinders, Rat World, and as hoped for, the return of Edgar, the originator of this whole proud Dimension 20 tradition of plot-relevant rats! He even gets a ghostly little miniature in the “Baron’s Game” battle! Fabian is also gifted (and makes frequent use of) the Pipes of the Sewers, an item which summons rats. The combo of this item and Fig’s Mask of Animal Friendship leads to several instances of rat-summoning both in and out of in combat, the likes of which have not been seen in years. One of the most unhinged and transcendent moments of the season, the Rat-ettes showing hole, led to the uncovering of the ancient name Ankarna, kicking off both a fucking excellent mid-season finale as well the central plot of the rest of the season. The rat swarm minis in The Last Stand & Ragenarok pt 1 truly brought me back to the glory days of The Unsleeping City. The only thing keeping this season from a 9/10 is lack of mouse/rat PCs or major NPCS, which all of our 9/10+ seasons have had thus far. Much as I adore Edgar, I would categorize him as a supporting NPC this season rather than a major one. The Rat Grinders definitely add to this season’s score, but as none of them are actually rats, I can’t count them as rat NPCs. Easily the height of Fantasy High rat content, and that’s saying something. We’ve been in a bit of a drought lately, but FHJY truly delivered.

I would like to give credit to a post I read many years ago that I realize may have given me inspiration to make whatever this is: harry potter rated by mentions of swans.

don’t ask