#but kira is more popular so you might just surprise me

[whos-hotter-jjba]

JoJo Villain Showdown - Third Place

[seasaltmemories]

Mars Review/Analysis

Mars was a series I had vaguely known about for a while. I've seen the iconic statue kissing scene, the male lead ranked as one of ppl's faves problematic love interests, and even had a mutual who talked about reading the series once a year. However it wasn't until a discussion on the portrayal of sex and other mature topics in shoujo that I figured it might be useful for me to read such a foundational work

Cue me reading the first chapter and breathlessly telling people it alone would count as the one of the best of shoujo. I binged the rest of the 15 volume series in a week, and through so many familiar ups and downs, it still felt like something special.

CW: Suicide, Sexual Abuse, Homophobia, Transphobia

Summary time:

Kira, a shy high school student, lives only for her art. Rei, An arrogant, rebellious and violent playboy, wears his delinquency like a badge of honor. They are exact opposites in every way, but when Kira sees Rei kissing a statue of Mars, she overcomes her fears and asks him to model for her. And, to everyone's surprise, Rei agrees.

On the surface it seems just like a typical good girl/bad boy story, and it is hard to say it isn't, but so much of what makes the story work is the details. Their meet cute is subdued, nothing but an excuse to get them talking again, but as they talk more and more, their chemistry just shines through. I don't know if it just fits my specific tastes, but it really is the stuff of girlhood dreams. Rei has this easy-going charm that is hard to look away from, and you can see Kira start to fall fast and hard despite herself, and by the end of volume 1, they've shared their first kiss and are more or less an item for the rest of the series

It is a pretty fast courtship for most romance stories, but the fact we skip the pining to get straight to an established relationship means we get this sort of easy physical affection that is so refreshing. Frankly I would enjoyed just watching them be absolutely adorable, but as we uncover both their dark pasts, they take on this young, restless "us vs. the world" love I can't resist

I mention before how a lot of Rei's appeal lies in his laid-back nature, rather than brood in a corner, he's outgoing and popular but the same carefree nature means he doesn't put much stock in social convention or consider the consequences his poor impulse control can get him in. It's a much more thought-out portrayal of a "bad boy" even as the dramatic details of his backstory build up. Considering his mother's early death, his estrangement from his father, and the fact he saw his twin brother commit suicide in front of him, it is clear his ease with everything is more bc of a general apathy, even towards his own wellbeing

Kira we learned started the series still recovering from the sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepfather, as her relationship develops with Rei, she has to process a lot of trauma she still has surrounding her sexuality. It is clear her introverted, passive nature is not just a means of making her more relatable/easier to project onto, and that the real Kira has only started to come back out of her shell

I'd be lying if I acted like these issues were explored in nuanced, subtle ways, but even through the melodrama there was something real to it all that captured me. Like I usually struggle to latch onto most contemporary romances where the biggest obstacles couples face are their willingness to go ahead an make the first move. But these are real problems that real ppl face, even if it is heavily dramatized, and so their determination to stick together and make a place where they can be happy and safe just tugs at my heartstrings, even the breakneck pacing from one arc to the next, felt true to the whirlwind that is young adulthood. Did Fuyumi Souryo forget a plot thread when Rei's dream of becoming a pro racer fell away from the plot for like ten volumes? Maybe, but in life you're usually not really following a laid out plan and are more trying to survive from one crisis to the next while discovering patches of stability along the way

The melodrama really started to test my limits with the introduction of the antagonist, Masao. In contrast to Rei and Kira's detailed history of violence, Masao's just plain evil and attracted to the both of them for extra "creepiness" It's not just tasteless, it's boring, his entire arc nearly killed my interest in the series

Thankfully he only shows up for one arc in the middle and then briefly at the end to stir up more trouble. He's more bearable in those chapters thanks to the fact he's reflecting how much our main leads has grown, but his existence is painfully utilitarian, which applies to most of the rest of the cast, clearly only existing to highlight our main duo better. This also leads to some transphobia and insensitive portrayals of suicide.

Rei's mother and twin also suffer similar "secretly evil all along" reveals as Masao, which I do think cheapen Rei's struggle. Frankly we don't get enough time to unpack either character's history to really understand them, but even if the narrative doesn't suggest it outright, it is hard to ignore the feeling their deaths aren't so tragic bc of their flaws. Even so, they bothered me less than Masao for some reason. For all her violent tendencies, Rei's mother is still given sympathy that Masao never gets. And even though Sei's suicide note expresses a lot of misanthropy and sadism, to me there were enough lines almost suggesting he feared those tendencies within him and was also struggling in his own way. Perhaps their underdeveloped nature all helps keep either plot point form having to overstay their welcome

And that's the thing, despite all the dark and shocking plot twists I casually mentioned, what really stands out as I look back on the series, is the strong love Rei and Kira share. Going back to the plot summary, what you see is what you get. If you aren't on board with the series after volume 1, then it probably isn't for you. But few pieces of media have ever sold me on two character's love for each other as hard as this did. I mentioned before that I tend to need my media to acknowledge tragedy before I can accept their hope, but even when Mars isn't pulling out its soap opera cliffhangers, I always wanted to see how Rei and Kira would come together to support each other through their next stages of life.

[tsuki-sennin]

*Deep breath* Wahahahaha~! Make way, peons! It's a festival, a festival I say! Coming to Sorashido City whether you like it or not! Wahahahaha! So... Princess Elle of Sky Land is feeling great sorrow? Well now... we can hardly have that now can we?

This tremendous sweet sixteen for Hirogaru Sky PreCure! Is it a worthy telling of such an iconic legend?

Oh, by the way, by the time you're likely reading this, it's the birthday of our very own Tsubasa Yuunagi~!

By the way, here be spoilers! You'd best tread with caution!

-Everywhere I go... I see his face. Tarou-san...

-Bwuh? Oh yeah, Ranborgs.

-And Captain Shalala just dipped.

-By the way Sora, I'm very proud of you for kicking so much ass last episode, you were awesome.

-Ageha, now hardly seems the time for puns.

-The birthday boy grits his teeth.

-Hello, Yoyo-san.

-"What's their fucking deal, Grandma?"

-Light and shadow. Heaven and Hell. North Carolina and South Carolina.

-Ohhhhhh!

-K

-Kira Kira Energy.

-...this feels oddly familiar.

-An apothecary~!

-Papa, Mama, yes~!

-Aw :(

-Kanashimi o taiji shite yu- No Tsuki! Restrain yourself. It's not yet time.

-Uhhhhh, theme song! I forget if I talked about it yet, but it's delightfully hopeful and (as expected of a Toei franchise) masterfully composed. The percussion especially is immaculate, a good percussion section knows exac

-Onitaijin.

-Ohhhh, puppet show~!

-Pretty Princess Butterfly.

-You are very based, Tsubasa. I forgive you, you filthy crimin- *Smack!* Focus!

-Momotaro~!

-We must hurry to Onigashima.

-Well, we could retell the story with an odd cast from previous seasons... Love/Peach would make a good Momotaro just off her name alone, you could make a strong argument for casting Kokone/Spicy or Akira/Chocolat as the dog, Asuka/Flamingo of course could be the pheasant as it's a neorinthe like a flamingo...

-I'm not quite sure who'd be the monkey in this case. ...Ako/Muse, perhaps? I'm genuinely not sure, I only started watching Suite a little while ago, but she does give me monkey vibes. Minori/Papaya'd make a good substitute if you don't think that counts though.

-She shreep

-Puppet play~!

-Don! Don! Donbura ko!

-Don Elletaro~! Fully formed and armed to the teeth!

-Prop recycling~! Wouldn't be a Toei production without it, huh?

-Well, you know how it is, Mashiron! Everybody loves to play with the tropes of fairy tales~! It's why we as a society love Shrek so much. And RWBY... and I guess if you're me, Saber.

-Yooooo! Nippon Ichi!

-Dango~!

-Furry Sora Jumpscare!

-Keep your face out of the kibble and we'll be just fine.

-Free Bread~!

-Elleeeetaro Zan, Elletaro Zan!

-And now... a Haiku.

Light from the blue sky

Caught in the shining prisms

Rainbows gayly form.

-Y'know, Shinichi would be giving Mashiro girl advice. And she'd go for it.

-We're all going pretty quick, eh? Mmmm... Momotaro had to do a bit of walking after.

-...there is a surprising (read: distressing) level of similarity between Tsubasa (Yuunagi, moderate amount of issues) and Tsuyoshi (Kijino, lots of issues).

-Y'know, male character in a predominantly female role, used for comic relief fairly often, being wildly popular among fans on Tumblr... all I'm saying is you might wanna keep an eye on Wing's love life. For his sake, and ours.

-We laughed, we cried, we had wacky misunderstandings, we had insane romance subplots, people died and came back, Kaito was there...

-To the port!

-Onigashima! Where the ogres gather.

-Ohhhhhhh

-There's something about the Underg, huh Granny?

-Elletaro's companions stand resolute in spite of their fears.

-This is the good stuff.

-...apparently the princess isn't quite a big fan. ...give it a few more minutes, it'll be really good.

-Here comes creepy Battamonda~! Who... most assuredly is not a Noto analogue. That's probably better reserved for Captain Shalala or from a certain perspective Kabaton.

-Oniiiiiiiiii~!

-Ageha may be voicing the Oni, but she's definitely no Haruka. ...if anything, she's much more of a Jiro type. Arguably even more so than whatever Fifth Cure we'll be getting.

-Hirogaru-ki!

-The special effects are ruined! Your suit budget is in shambles! The shippers are going apeshit!

-She walks!

-She speaks!

-She's done it!

-Baa~!

-The cloud has lifted.

-For Elletaro! Princess Elletaro~!

-...so uh... where're Sora's parents in all this?

-I don't mean to ruin this nice moment, but I find it a little concerning that they don't seem to have been appearing much.

-BIRDS

-"What up, fellas?"

-Instead of kidnapping, Battamonda prefers a spot of murder.

-Whoa, perfect catch!

-Hell yeah, Prism Punch!

-I love how floaty these fight scenes are.

-Down they go!

-Eat my ass, Battamonda.

-Keep moving forward! The princess says so!

-Wahahahahahahahaha! Shine on, dear companions!

-Whoa! Flash Bang!

-Man, the Sky Mirage just seems like a really neat little toy to play with.

-Into the mirror~! Okay!

-Mermaid Aqua Pot Moment.

-Have you considered maybe you're just a moron?

-Thank you again, Elle-chan.

-Walk style.

-Elletaro-san~! Elletaro-san~!

-Bread...

-So let's get the party started~! Don Don, Iitokomikke~! Tokuige! Ni mune harou ze Brother! WOO!

-Ah, uh, outro, outro! Very catchy, love the rhyme structure, the Butterfly teasing is making me seethe and cope, get your skinny ass in there already babe.

-Mashiron must run! And never look back!

-Now if you excuse me, I do believe I have an installment of a certain other franchise to get back to. One that also involves floating sky kingdoms, ancient legends, knights and heroes, a pig-themed villain, wildly bucking franchise conventions, gender stuff, and horrifying underground monstrosities.

-...look I could've just said "Zelda" and there'd have been no question, but that's okay, see youuuuuu~!

[grievedifferent]

❝ oh, 'raito' is just the japanese way of pronouncing 'light' ... so, yes, but most americans find it annoying to say, so they just call me light. ultimately, it doesn't matter what you address me as, it all means the same thing. yagami-san is how i'm typically referred to at home, but that ... might be a little out of place here. heh. ❞

he hates the fake laughter, but it really seals the deal that he's just so friendly.

❝ studying overseas for a semester was always in my plans, but i originally had thought i might go to london. chicago has a pretty illustrious program for my personal major, and it coincided with my ambassador program, so it was sort of meant to be, as they say. ❞

skunk? oh, i hate that. yagami comes from a place where names aren't necessarily always normal, his own even is unusual in how it's spelled versus its intention.

a kira-kira name! so fittingly ironic, isn't it? it doesn't matter much in this world, though ... another ark, he reminds himself in a way only he can understand. for another time.

this conversation is a little all over the place for his liking, stacking it in what feels like a better order for him to reply to. he speaks proficiently, though his inflections are somewhat off on certain words, and he hopes to fully be considered a native speaker by the time he leaves.

i usually speak english with my friends, and they aren't that good at it. i'm always the one helping them. being with a bunch of people that actually speak it as a first language is way different.

sure, tokyo offers him an eclectic crowd to sift through, but yagami isn't the type to seek foreigners out for fun. he keeps a small, niche crowd close to himself, but his social circle would imply otherwise. on the surface, he is very popular with many friends, but in reality, he barely considers more than a few anything other than acquaintances at best.

❝ i follow the rules because i'll be one of the people enforcing them someday. i'm going to be what you all call the chief of police in my district back home. it's technically like a superintendent position. being the chief of the national police agency will allow me to work in tokyo, but it would be a mistake to say i would be 'reigning in all of tokyo'. i would have my stations. that's why i'm here. the criminal justice program will allow me to expand my worldview. there are a lot of things different here that we don't even do at home. i have to admit, the west is far more technically advanced than we are, which might surprise you considering our general reputation for industry. i could go on, but i don't want to bore you. basically ... i'm going to take what i learn here and bring it back with me. hopefully, that'll make a difference. ❞

a pause as he sighs, tapping his fingers on the tabletop between them.

❝ just a ginger ale. i'm keeping my head tonight so the others can let loose. i'm not driving, but i will be walking them back. someone has to make sure they make it safely. ❞

this guy ain't the typical type of guy i'd chat with while out for drinks. i like to chat with people, yeah, but people like this guy? i tend to steer clear. i'm not sure what really encourages me to strike up conversation with the other, maybe i'm just tryin' not to judge a book by its cover. but when he actually talks to me, it kinda settles it for me. botherin' this guy could be fun.

i take a sip of my beer when he talks, nodding my head to keep engaged with the conversation. "oh shit japan? that's pretty cool, dude. what made y' pick studyin' in america, if y'don't mind me askin'?" and i'm mostly just curious at this point. when he mentions coming to the bar with other students, that makes more sense. this did not seem like the guys scene. "i never went t' college myself, ain't really my vibe if y' know what i mean. honestly, i'm surprised i graduated high school." i snort out a laugh, shaking my head from side to side.

"i don't give a shit if you're old enough or not, i don't work here." i say with a smirk and a shrug of my shoulders. i had my first beer when i was thirteen, don't think that gives me much of a right to judge others ... besides i was already on my third beer of the evening. "'sides, i didn't really pin ya t' be the rule breakin' type."

my eyes give him another once over when he introduces himself. i hold out my hand and he bows instead. he did say he was from japan, but regardless of what people say or think, i wasn't stupid. i can tell what someone means when they look at me like that. somethin' you learn quick, when you try to give less of a shit.

"raito, huh? does that mean light or somethin'?" i pause then, and i smirk a little behind the neck of the beer bottle i take a sip from. "well, right - o light - o, but i can call ya raito just fine." my smile beams at him. if someone ain't gonna shake my hand, i think i'm allowed to give them some shit. "i'm skunk, skunk thompson. 's nice t' meet ya, man." or something like that. my brow raises, i'm already curious what his reaction's gonna be to my name. "hey, what'cha drinkin'? need a refill?"

[strafepanzer]

atmospheric | act i: cumulus

masterlist | act i | act ii | act iii

a @mybigbangacademia collab with @54prowl

rating: explicit (for future themes)

word count: 9.4k

tags: katsuki’s sailor tongue, staged (and non-staged) meet cutes, mentions of grief

a/n: oh my lord, i thought this would never come to fruition! i wanna thank @kweenkatsuki @kingkatsuki @karikarasuno and especially @54prowl for keeping me sane throughout this! thank you for reading my stuff and screaming about it and helping me through writers block and just being there for me when i was at my most anxious. i adore you all so so much!

“Hell fucking no.” Katsuki laughs. Laughs at the gall, at the sheer audacity. “I don’t need this. Why the fuck would I need this?”

His publicist shares a look with the rep from The Hero Commission. “Bakugo,” she takes a breath, clenches her jaw a little. He’s known Kira for a long time, knows she honestly tries to do what’s best for him, what he needs. “You could be number one.” She states confidently. “And I’m gonna be candid here, because we’re not strangers; I’ve been with you for six long years,” she doesn’t break eye contact with him, if anything she leans into him more. “I’m frustrated. It’s goddamn frustrating watching you sit at six. Six? You’re Dynamight.”

“That’s right!” The rep all but throws his hands up in the air. “Dynamight! You always catch the bad guy! Your merch is one of our best selling lines, you always file your work correctly— and on time!” He stresses, blue eyes as big and bright as All Might’s were. “Your issue is popularity, the polls; you don’t take fan pics, you don’t sign merch—“

“That’s not the point of bein’ a fucking hero—“

“We don’t want you to change, Bakugo, that’s the whole point of this. You don’t have to become a whole different person; in fact, we don’t really expect you to do much, especially during the first few months of the project.” The Project. He wants to snort, to cross his arms and lean back in his chair, show his disinterest; but, shit, he’d be a fucking liar if he didn’t admit sitting at six didn’t drive him up the wall.

“It’ll just start with a chance meeting here, another there, just so social media can get wind of it, and rumours can spread.” Kira relaxes a little, frown lines evening out as she takes in Anderson’s excited vibes. Katsuki huffs a little, meets her eyes. “We’ve had a team working on your story for a while.”

“Story…” he tests the word in his mouth as his brows draw together. “So there’s a script?”

“We have a timeline and set meetings,” Anderson smiles, leaning back in his chair. “Some social media stories we’ll need you to post, more she has to post; but as far as a script goes… it’s more of the direction we need you to go in.”

Katsuki sighs, grabs the surprisingly heavy booklet they presented to him earlier in the meeting. GOLDFISH takes up most of the cover page in giant letters, a corny TOP SECRET stamped in red takes up the rest of it; fucking stupid, dramatic, pretentious Hero Commission shit. He flips through the pages, glosses over the words until he gets to a sub heading titled Chance Meeting One.

They’re lucky he doesn’t peg the fucking book at Anderson.

Subject A bumps into Subject B on the red carpet. Subject B stumbles, Subject A steadies them, asks if they are okay. The two share a look, then get back to business. Paparazzi in the vicinity—

“So, if I’m subject A, who’s the mysterious Subject B?” His voice is dripping in sarcasm as he tosses the book back onto the table. He’s mildly surprised— concerned, even?— when neither of them jump to tell him.

“We can’t… tell you… until you sign the contract.” Kira says quietly, the nerves he’s so accustomed to seeing, creeping back onto her face.

His scowl must deepen astronomically, because she turns to Anderson with her bottom lip between her teeth.

“You’re not the only hero suffering in the popularity polls.” Anderson shrugs, gesturing with his hands. “Kira’s just been meticulous about you getting the boost. In reality, this would be a good deal for all of the top 10 heroes.”

Katsuki feels his eye twitch.

“Shouto, for example, isn’t that great with social cues, tends to shy away from media; he’s already at three, we could get him higher.” Anderson is 100% goading him, and Katsuki knows it, but it’s working.

“Is she a hero?”

“No,” his agent says confidently. “She’s not in the business, not a part of the commission either.”

“She’s well-loved, fawned over. Attractive.” Anderson turns to Kira. “Would you say so?”

“Oh yeah, absolutely. We’d never set you up for failure, Bakugo, I can promise you that.”

“I don’t care what she looks like,” he huffs, slightly agitated. “I just don’t wanna drop in the polls.” He grumbles, glare set on Anderson. “Do they know it’s me?”

“Nope, she just knows you’re a hero.” He answers with a toothy smile.

Katsuki presses on. “Does she know I’m in top 10?”

“Her contract states it’ll be a hero in the top 50.” He shoots back, unblinking.

“Just say yes Bakugo, I promise it’ll be worth it.” Kira interjects, eyes hopeful. “And hey, you might actually really like her.”

Katsuki’s snort of laughter is loud. “Doubt it.” He grabs the book and flicks through the pages again, what’s the harm in taking it home and having a read? “Do I have to decide now?”

“Yes.” They answer together, Anderson steadfast and Kira flat.

“Really?”

“No time like the present.” The rep shrugs, the Cheshire grin on his face only growing with Katsuki’s frustration.

“You’re a real fucking ass you know that?” The hero grumbles, throwing his glare over his shoulder, pretending to be interested in the view of the setting sun from their vantage point on the 47th floor of the Hero Commission.

“The sooner you sign, the sooner we get the ball rolling.” Anderson drums the table like a fucking salesman.

And Katsuki signs the contract.

—

Katsuki still lives in the same apartment he bought when he was a rookie. Granted, back then this place was far too good for him, with its timber floorboards, prime location, and it’s five burner stainless steel natural gas cooktop. The previous owner was selling to move abroad; a retired chef who allowed Katsuki a walkthrough of the place as a ‘favour’ to one of Aizawa’s friends.

She—the chef— must’ve seen something in Katsuki when his eyes roamed the sparkling appliances, the range hood, the dishwasher, the fridge, because she accepted his offer, and he’d moved in the next week. It wasn’t until Eijirou had mentioned a couple months into living there, that his bathroom tiles were pink, that Katsuki had even noticed; that’s just how smitten he was with that fucking kitchen.

Now, years later, he feels shitty looking at his commercial grade kitchen.

When was the last time he cooked? Shit, the only time he even uses his kitchen is when he makes himself an instant coffee before work, or reheats takeout from the night before. He’s so busy at TDA, so busy bagging baddies and fighting crime and filing fucking paperwork that he’s gotta eat and run, with the shitty haired idiot eating into his days off with god damned babysitting duties at his place.

Katsuki sinks into the worn leather of his camel coloured couch, A4 envelope in his hand. He should open it, should find out who exactly this mystery girl is, should prepare. Instead, he sighs, tosses the crisp wad of paper onto the seat next to him, runs a hand down his face.

If even one person finds out he’s doing this, he’s over.

“Fuck,” he mutters, hands drawing down his face, crimson staring into the white of his ceiling, the elaborate cornices joining the muted grey of his walls. Bare walls.

The chef had paintings on the walls, heavy velvet curtains over the windows, colourful rugs, buffets covered in photos, house plants, and so much furniture. But Katsuki— young and pretentious— didn’t get that. He liked how huge the apartment seemed without it all, how high the ceilings felt, how large the rooms were.

Now, as much as he’s loathe to admit it, it feels kinda lonely.

But, he’ll do what he usually does when that nagging emptiness nips at his ankles, when he’s alone and actually feeling it: he’ll head to TDA. He’ll get to work, ignore Deku and that half and half bastard when they tell him they’ve got everything covered, ignore sparky when he teases him about not having a life, ignore pink cheeks when she reminds him for the millionth time he’s not getting paid overtime.

With a heaved sigh, he sits forward, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. That envelope glares at him from the other side of the two seater lounge, sitting there as if it’s some kind of placeholder, as if the girl herself is going to materialise next to him if he dares to open it.

He doesn’t open it.

—

TDA—The Deku Agency (yeah, stupid fucking name)— is lively in the afternoons. Heroes and rookies mingle with civvies in the foyer, sitting at cozy little tables and ordering overpriced drinks and cakes from the café Deku had installed in the far corner of the lobby in a bid to improve relations between them. The Commission loved it.

Katsuki uses the back door.

He takes the maintenance elevator up to the office floor and wordlessly finds his desk, revels in the pssssssht as he sinks into the bright orange, high-backed ergolux. It’s comfy for an office chair, just the right amount of worn in, without the irritation of squeaky screws his old chair had.

“Don’t you have today off?” Icyhot’s glare is blank, cold soba (probably) noodles suspended between the chopsticks held at lip level.

“None’a your business, half ‘n’ half.” Katsuki glares back heatedly, spinning in his chair to face his monitor. It, too, is… orange. Just like Deku’s is broccoli green, and round cheeks’ is pink, and fucking half ‘n’ half’s is… half red, half icy blue. According to Deku, some computer company brought out a whole range of hero inspired computers in a collab with the Commission and he just had to get one for everyone; with matching chairs.

The colours throw off the serenity the floor could have, with its glossy white floors, floor to ceiling windows, the greenery delicately placed around the space. But, that’s Deku and Pink Cheeks to a tee, and the icyhot asshole just goes along with whatever half-baked plan the two of them conspire.

“Was it expensive?” Todoroki presses, those eyes still staring holes into Katsuki.

“Haah?” He knows he shouldn’t rise to the bait, but he’s tense as it is, so that red glare of his is burning through Shouto in an instant.

“The fine? Property damage, Uraraka thinks, but my money’s on defamation?” He says it with such disinterest, that it almost takes Katsuki off guard.

“It was a meeting, dipshit; about my career. I don’t have any outstanding fines.” He almost snarls, irritation a growling monster in his gut. “Asshole.” He adds, filing away Ochako’s involvement in the back of his mind. He’ll call her out for it later; she’s always the one putting ridiculous ideas in that two-toned space cadet’s head.

“Ah, sorry.” He hears him mumble back, followed by a loud slurp that makes Katsuki’s left eye twitch.

“You should be.” The blonde huffs, irritation mounting at the lack of sincerity in his voice. “Who the hell did you think was suing me?”

“Hm? Didn’t you badmouth Grand on Twitter last week?”

Katsuki actually laughs. “If that asshole wants to go to battle, he’ll need to be ready for fucking war.”

“What was the meeting about, then? Your public image? Are they mad at you?”

Yes and no.

“You’re awfully chatty today.”

“Well, I’m having a meeting next week,” Shouto admits, piquing Katsuki’s interest; he swivels in his chair, watches his friend as he plays with his noodles absentmindedly. “Just… Don’t know what to expect.”

“Oh.” Is all Katsuki can really say. He vaguely remembers Shouto mentioning something about almost slipping in the polls, and although he’s higher than Katsuki, he bets his own agent’s been getting a beat down from the Commission. While they don’t really care who sits at number one, they do care when merch sales drop and social media interaction is low.

“I just hate… all of that extra stuff. All of the unnecessary competition that comes along with this job. Reminds me of… Father.” As if sensing he’s stepped a foot wrong (for once in his life), Shouto mumbles a sorry and turns back towards his computer screen.

Normally, a mention of Shouto’s father leaves a bittersweet taste in Katsuki’s mouth, has him turning cheek to cheer his friend up in his own asshole-y way… but guilt nips at his heels. Guilt that his contract might actually have him surpassing Shouto with a leg-up Katsuki doesn’t technically need. Katsuki isn’t Shouto; he’s a prick on purpose, not out of childhood trauma-induced ignorance. Katsuki knows that the things he says and his shitty actions have god damned consequences.

Todoroki’s just a little weird.

Fuck, another reason to feel shitty about signing that fucking contract.

After a few moments, Shouto’s slurping starts again, giving Katsuki the green light to get his head out of his ass. He turns back to his own computer, taps the space bar a few times to wake it up, and logs into the portal.

Time to catch up on some incident reports.

—

The Kirishima Household is lovely. Pro Hero Red Riot bought a place out in the ‘burbs when he got married, a semi-renovated two-storey place with a yard. It’s hard to find a place with a yard so close to the city, especially on rookie hero wages. The place has three bedrooms upstairs, with the living and dining, kitchen, and bath and toilet downstairs; Eijirou’s been trying to convince Katsuki to claim the third bedroom as his, even bought him an alarm clock and an All Might sheet set for the bed, but Katsuki chronically takes the couch.

When he comes over the night before the Gala to watch Akari, the father-daughter duo are playing MarioKart. Katsuki shakes his head at them— concealing his grin— and takes his groceries to the kitchen, set on making dinner for the two of them before Ei has to head off to work.

He must be thinking too hard, the anxiety of the Gala etched on his face, because Eijirou is hovering.

The red head’s also giving him the look.

Between serving his little girl dinner— which Katsuki assured him, he could do— getting his shit together for his shift, and making small talk with Katsuki, he keeps staring. It’s the goading look; the one that says: hey man, I know something’s wrong, but you’re just gonna say nothin’ if I ask, so I’m gonna need you to tell me.

Katsuki’s not gonna tell him.

He can’t.

What, just come out with a: yeah, I actually accepted an offer from the Commission to fake date someone in order for my public perception to improve, so I’ll climb the popularity polls. No chance in hell; not even if the place froze over.

Sure, if anyone were to understand, it’d probably be Eijirou. Either him, Deku, or Shouto, but… he just can’t. Especially with Red Riot sitting at number 8.

Katsuki has to usher him out the door at 6pm, has to pretend he’s fine, and that nothing’s bothering him; he even tries to give Ei a reassuring smile as he hops on his motorbike, but thinking back on that moment, it probably only worsens his perception of Katsuki. Since when does he smile and wave him off to work?

Shit.

He settles onto the sofa next to Ei’s mini me after tidying the kitchen and tossing a load of laundry in the wash. A replay of the morning news should relax him a little, should take his mind off this stupid Gala, the stupid red carpet, the stupid fucking contractual dating.

The news anchors are achingly boring, droning on about the finance sector, the stock market; Deku’s into all that shit, pulled Katsuki into investing almost a decade ago. The idiot even told Katsuki not to waste his first hero pay check on stupid stuff… then went ahead and bought some 160,000Y All Might figure that looked achingly out of place on his coffee table in his tiny loft studio apartment.

Then he’s on the news, a flash of blonde and green and orange flying through the sky. He’d apprehended a villain last night, and the news loves reporting on all of the property damage that usually comes along with Katsuki’s quirk; he’s gotten so good at holding back, but since signing the contract, he knows he’s been acting a little more recklessly. And of course, snakey fucking journalists have to jump on that. Reminds him how much he fucking hates the news.

At least the weather girl’s cute.

“Uncle Kats? You okay?” Akari blinks, looking up from her iPad. She’s the spit out of her father’s mouth with those big red eyes and inky black hair, not to mention how much she loves Katsuki. Must run in the Kirishima genes.

“Why d’ya ask, kiddo?”

“I knew it,” she sighs, pulling her feet underneath her as she locks her iPad. “Dad’s got another girlfriend, doesn’t he? You always get weird like this when he’s seeing someone.”

Katsuki snorts laughter. “Always? Your dad has dated two people since you’ve been alive.”

“You’re acting weird!” She argues, arms gesturing wildly.

“You’re ten, you have no idea what weird even is.” He brushes her off, hoping to relive her of her street, but unable to do it nicely. He doesn’t really do nice.

“Dad was staring at you funny, and you were being weird.” She scrunches her little nose up at him, and Katsuki knows he’s not getting out of this conversation without putting a little bit of work in.

“Your dad stares at me funny all the time, squirt; you should’ve seen him when we were in high school.”

“He looked worried.” Akari frowns, because it is strange when Ei’s not being carefree.

Still, he’s gonna pretend he didn’t notice. “Did he?”

“Yeah and you did too!” She accuses, voice rising, annoyed. “Like, right up until now”

“So, because we both look worried, your dad’s dating again.” Its not a question, it’s her conclusion.

“Yeah, because he’s worried you’ll tell me, and you’re worried you have to keep it a secret. You don’t, by the way, I’m double digits now, so you can trust me with your secrets, I promise, Uncle Kats.” She bats those lashes at him, eyes shining with what he can only call mirth. The one thing she seemed to pick up from Katsuki after all these years babysitting.

He sighs, midway between impressed at her reasoning skills, and bummed that he can’t give her the answers she’s looking for. Still, he lets out a low whistle. “Double digits, huh? Sounds like you’re too old to hang out with Uncle Kats at the parlour.”

Seems like redirection still works for pre-teens, because her ruby reds light up like it’s Christmas. “You said you’re too famous to go out in public!”

“Are you arguing with ice cream, squirt?” He fakes a glower, sends her a little glare that can only be taken as playful.

“No way!” She bounces from the couch and practically runs to the landing. “I’m just gonna put my coat and shoes on!” She calls, talking way too fast. But then her little face pokes back around the corner, brows furrowed. “No take-backs.” She glares, wary.

He sighs, rubs a huge scarred hand over his too tired face. “No take backs.” He shrugs, shaking his head.

Akari seems content to leave his sight after that, her fast footfalls trekking up the stairs, her bedroom door slamming open. Meanwhile, he sinks a little into the sofa, annoyed with himself; mostly for acting so obviously emotional in front of a child, but also for promising her ice cream.

Looks like a beanie, face mask, and sunglasses type of night.

—

Eijirou rolls up the driveway a long thirteen hours after he left.

Katsuki’s made Eijirou a decaf tea— he’s gotta sleep today, and all that— and he’s stirring his coffee with a teaspoon as he leans against the countertop in the kitchen, eyes on the front door in anticipation. He needs to talk to him, needs to reassure his best friend that he’s okay, that there’s not really anything wrong.

Tell him what’s going on without explicitly telling him what’s going on.

“Daddy’s home!” He calls, bursting into the house with far too much energy for coming off an overnight shift.

“Dude, she’s asleep.”

“What?” His face falls, eyes darting around the kitchen like Katsuki’s telling lies. “It’s seven am, she’s got school this morning.” He grows more panicked by the second. “The bus gets here at seven-fifty—“

“Eiji, c’mon, all she’s gotta do is get up, get dressed, and eat breakfast.” Katsuki grumbles, rolling his eyes.

“How are you letting her sleep in? I knew it, something’s wrong. You were acting so weird last night, but this is… this is worse.” He dumps his work bag at his feet, puts his hands on his hips and gives him those god damn puppy eyes that are generally reserved for begging Katsuki to go somewhere with him. “You’re harder on her schedule than I am, Katsuki.”

Katsuki sighs, steps over to rinse his teaspoon in the sink. “I took her out for ice cream last night, and we stayed out past her bedtime, so I told her I’d let her sleep in until seven-thirty.” He picks up Eijirou’s tea, hold it out for him to take. “I’m fine, really, it’s just a work thing.”

Eijirou accepts the mug, takes a few steps to sit at his four-seater dining table. “A work thing you can’t tell your best bud about.”

“It’s—“ Katsuki hesitates, taking his coffee with him to joint Eijirou at the table. “The Hero Gala is coming up, and Kira is making me go. You know how I hate doing publicity shit.” Not a lie. It’s true, he has to go to the pretentious fucking Hero Gala, and he hates all that stupid shit, and, yeah maybe there’s something else going on at the Gala, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that he doesn’t wanna go.

Eiji’s mouth hangs open. “That’s it?”

“Hah?” Katsuki glares.

“You’re freaking out about the Gala?”

“Do you blame me?”

“No, I— geez, Kats, I actually thought there was something eating at your soul. You looked like you made a deal with a crossroads demon or something.” He shakes his head of whatever thoughts he’s been having and lets out a laugh, takes a sip of his tea.

Eijirou has no idea just how on the money he actually is.

“Nah, I just don’t know what to wear, how to act. You know how I can get with camera flashes.” He sighs, remembering the last press release he went to— all of the cameras and loud noises, and… fuck, it’s uncomfortable, and reminds him of being out in battle. Maybe he actually needs to get onto someone about PTSD like shitty Deku keeps suggesting.

Eijirou lets out a breath, the weight falling off his shoulders. “Well, you’ve always looked good in red; brings out your eyes.”

Katsuki chuckles then. “You’re a biased little shit, Ei.”

“I know.”

—

The Gala is everything Katsuki expects it to be: loud, crowded, and brightly lit. Paparazzi and fans line the streets for blocks leading to the venue, and it makes his nose twitch. He’s not the best with his public image, but tonight he has to at least try. Has to put in some goddamn effort.

Not only for himself, but for TDA, for his… to be girlfriend.

God, it even sounds fucking stupid in his head.

He drove himself, the plan to pull up in the valet cue and open the envelope, prepare then. In hindsight it’s pretty last minute, but knowing a name threatened over overthinking on his part. He’s never really been known for his level head, and in that respect, he’s his worst enemy.

He’d argued with Kira a couple of days ago about a pre-meeting meeting, something to ease his anxiety, somewhere for him to meet this woman and form some kind of fool-proof game plan; but he was shot down.

What if a pap sees them entering the same building before they even meet?

That’ll ruin the meet-cute for the fans, destroy everything the commission worked hard to create. Which is fair, honestly; she’d asked him if he read the plan, reminded him that until they can’t even have phone contact until the third meet just in case anyone catches wind of anything.

Stupid Commission and their goddamn paranoia.

So as Katsuki sits in the cue, venue a beacon of light a couple a blocks away, he opens the centre console of Maserati Gran Turismo and pulls out the envelope, unrolls it and flattens it against his thighs. This is it, no time to mull over the results, because as he idles, the cue slowly rolls forward, bringing him closer to the Gala by the minute.

As calloused fingers carefully pull at the tab, his mind races. He thinks about just how long he’s waited for this moment, how on edge he’s been since he scribbled his signature at the bottom of that contract. As much as he’s loathe to admit it, he needs to do a good job with this, needs to put in the effort, needs to milk it for all its worth.

For some reason, he thinks back to Shouto sitting in his office chair, clearly worried about his own standings in the ranks, looking sorry as hell. He wonders how Shouto’d feel if Anderson were sitting across from him at the table, offering him help he doesn’t quite need, giving him an opportunity he might not be fit to take.

But, shit, that worrying? It’s so unnecessary. Icyhot might not have even wanted to sign the fucking contract. Sometimes Katsuki doesn’t give him the credit he deserves.

He tugs the paper from the envelope and scans the page.

Your name sits there in bold block letters.

But he has no idea who the fuck you are.

Kira’s got his phone and wallet in her bag so he can comfortably walk the carpet, so he can’t even Google who the hell you are. He says your name over and over in his brain, trying to light up electrodes, trying to think of anything that could bring a face to your name.

“Fuck,” he hisses, reading the name again, skimming through the document. There’s nothing there about you, no occupation, no bio, no nothing. “Fuck.” He growls, glancing up to see the venue way closer than he anticipated.

It’s fine. It’s fine because no other person would even think about bumping into Dynamight, not even on accident. This woman is going to knock into him, he’s going to steady her, not glare at her, and then it’ll be over. He can do this.

It’s going to be fine.

By the time he realises he’s shaking his leg, he’s the fourth car in the cue. He remembers the wise words of wisdom Ei shot him as he left his house that morning: you’re gonna look good, bro; just don’t blow anyone up.

He checks his hair in the rear view mirror, makes sure the lapel of his deep, deep red suit jacket is laying nicely against the matte black if his dress shirt, that his black silken tie is sitting centre. He didn’t wanna wear red, but Kira agreed with Ei, insisted it brought out the ruby of his eyes, and would make it easier for the girl to spot him.

For you to spot him.

Fuck, he’s next.

When the limo in front of him drives away, he rolls up until he’s gestured to stop, puts the car in park and presses the handbrake on. At least the anxiety of meeting you and following this script is taking his mind off how much he hates red carpets.

Oh, great, he’s gonna blend into the fucking flooring.

“Dynamight, big fan,” the valet— tall, lanky, cat-like— opens his door, gestures widely for him to exit the car.

“Hey, thanks,” Katsuki nods, points to the button to the left of the steering wheel. “Handbrake’s on; don’t drop the clutch too fast or you’ll stall her.” He explains as he slides out of the seat, stands tall to meet the valet’s eyes. He’s still a couple of inches taller.

“I will be very gentle with her, I promise.” He grins, holding a ticket out for Katsuki as he shoves his hands into his pants pockets, lifts his chin as if assessing the slightly shorter man.

Then— deeming his valet adequate— Katsuki takes the ticket, slides it into his pocket, and nods him a good night.

When Katsuki turns towards the golden— not red, thank god— carpet, it’s as if someone’s just unmuted the television; it’s suddenly way too loud, his name being screamed from all angles, camera flashes blinding him, people crowding him. He’s ushered to the first little black X taped to the carpet by a busy little woman in a black suit, is briefly told to pause and pose for pics, before she hurries off in a blur.

He straightens a little, softens the agitation on his face a bit, but doesn’t smile. Why the hell would he? The paps are all desperately calling a mixture of his last name and his hero name, shouting at him like he’s some kind of prized pony, and he hates it. He hates the showboating, loathes the OTT smiling.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Kira, her dress a tight purple bodice with a midi length circle skirt; she’s got a headset on, just like the other PA’s and Gala staff, and a black satchel bag slung across her torso. She beams when their eyes meet, but gestures for him to keep posing, uses her pointer fingers to elongate the smile on her own face, then loudly mouths smile.

The audacity of her has a smirk sliding onto his face, and he glances at the paps for a bit, before heading towards her.

“You look good!” She beams, dusting absolutely nothing from his shoulders and looking up at him like a proud mama. “Are you ready?” She leans up to ask him, voice more muted than before.

“Yeah, I just—“ he glances around, leans down to her ear. “I don’t know who she is.”

“Huh? Really?” Kira’s eyes almost bug our of her head. “What do you mean?”

“Shit, I—“

“Bakugo Katsuki willingly participating in a photo op? I think my depression is cured.” Katsuki would know that low drawl anywhere, his gut instinct affirmed when he’s met with lazy lavender eyes, and a just as lazy smirk.

“Shinsou?” Katsuki’s eyes widen. Last he heard about mindfreak, he was working the underground, so seeing him here is kind of throwing him off.

“Nice threads; when did hell freeze over?” Shinsou’s purple hair is in a messy bun, showing off a faded undercut, his suit pirate-esque with a too-open white shirt, brown suspenders and matching brown slacks.

“Funny. Who are you here with?” Katsuki snips, looking around for a possible date.

“What, am I not famous enough to work the golden carpet?” He snips in return. “You caught me, I’m here with Denks.” Then he nods behind him, at Kaminari who’s looking in his element in fucking sequins.

It brings a grin to Katsuki’s face, and he holds out his hand for Shinsou to shake. “Good to see you either way.”

“Bakugo,” Kira tugs his jacket sleeve, eyes wide as she nods for him to keep moving. “We gotta get inside.”

“Oh, sorry dude; I know how this makes you antsy.” Shinsou watches him exchange a look with Kira, takes his hand and gives it a shake.

“See you in there?” Katsuki nods.

“Bet.” Shinsou grins, dropping his hand, sauntering off towards Denki.

“You don’t know who she is? So what, you’re just gonna look clunky and hyperaware of every woman coming within a foot of you on a busy red carpet?” Kira is hissing at him as she directs him towards where semi-retired Mt Lady is having an interview with a reporter. “Did you not open the envelope?”

“I did, I just don’t know who the fuck she is, sue me.” Katsuki snips at her, just as annoyed with himself as she is.

“Oh, if this gets out, you’ll be getting sued Bakugo, don’t you worry.” She shakes her head, and points to the X’s plastered in a zig-zag all the way up to the entrance of the building. “Make your way up, hit each black X. Don’t worry about the white or the red, just hit the black ones.”

“There’s like eleven of them.”

“I’ll meet you inside,” she smiles without her eyes. “Don’t overthink it, and be fucking nice.”

He rolls his eyes.

“Go.”

He heads towards the first X when Denki moves on, a pretty reporter in white standing there with a crew and a smartphone wave him over.

“Dynamight!” She tucks a lock of pink hair behind her ear, bounces excitedly in place on the tallest pair of stilettos Katsuki has ever seen.

For all intents and purposes, this could be her. His heart absolutely hammers in his chest and he’s not entirely sure if he’s nervous because he hates the media, or if he’s about to meet the woman he’s gotta ‘fall in love’ with.

“Good to see you, number six! How’s things?” She asks into the bottom of her phone, before holding it out to him.

“Evening,” he greets. “It’s… loud here.” He makes a point to soften his scowl, looks at all of the fans and other people on the other side of the barricade. Be fucking nice, she said. Be fucking nice.

They absolutely roar.

“I don’t think your fans are used to seeing you like this. Who dressed you tonight?” She eyes him up and down, looks like she wants to touch him, but thinks better of it.

“I dressed myself, actually.” He says with a bit of bravado, that shit eating grin splitting his face as he tucks his thumbs under the lapels of his jacket and runs them down.

She laughs, a full-bodied thing that catches Katsuki off guard, has him looking awkwardly between her and the cameraman. “No, I mean who designed what you’re wearing?”

He doesn’t know. And he can’t be rude to this girl just in case she’s her; there’s a split second of internal struggle within him before she interrupts his chain of thought.

“You don’t know, do you Dynamight?”

“Am I gonna get in trouble from my agent if I don’t?” He looks behind himself, through the crowd for the purple dress, but it’s nowhere to be seen.

“No! No way! Just tweet it later!” She laughs, patting him lightly on his upper arm.

He laughs, almost bitterly. “Right, twitter, sure.” He suppresses an eye roll, lifts his hand to wave at the crowd, the camera, then her. “Enjoy your night.”

“We love you, Dynamight!” She cheers, setting the fans off again, the noise absolutely deafening him; and he’s used to loud, used to explosive. But not like this. At least when he’s detonating, he’s full of adrenaline, not fucking nerves.

The second, third, and fourth X interviews are all more of the same; more questions about his look, about how he’s unusually chatty, about how he actually showed up. It’s hard to be fucking nice, but it does take his mind off the reason he decided to show up tonight.

Until someone’s knocking into him, and he’s instinctively wrapping an arm around their waist to stop them from falling flat on their ass. There’s a collective gasp in the immediate vicinity, but all Katsuki can see is you. You in your shimmery peach gown, eyes bright and wide, face flushed and lips parted in awe.

And he recognises you immediately; sees you almost every morning when he’s got an office shift, sometimes even nights. Ochako’s a stickler for the news, watches the same channel every day like clockwork to keep an eye on the stock market when Deku can’t; and he’s always liked the addition of you, keeps an ear out for your sing-song voice under the guise of needing to know what kind of sky he’s gonna be flinging his body into if he has to fight that day.

“Weather girl?” He breathes, finally putting a face to the name.

You just kinda gawk at him, a special kind of shock that he can only describe as wonder.

“D-Dynamight? Can you help me up?” You blink, not quite knowing what to do with your hands while he has you suspended mid-fall.

As if breaking his trance, he curses a quick, “oh, shit,” before helping you back to your feet.

“Thanks,” you smile a little awkwardly. “And sorry. For, you know, knocking into you.”

“No, uh, harm done.” He mutters back, all of the bravado he’s built up over the course of the carpet walk going down the drain as he watches you worry your bottom lip between your teeth. “You okay?”

You process his question without breaking eye contact with him, then you nod once, real slow. “Yeah,” you say, smile growing on your face. “Yeah, I think I am. Nice to meet you.”

He can’t help but mirror your smile. “Likewise.”

—

There’s a photo and an accompanying video going ‘viral’ when Katsuki wakes up in the morning. He knows this because not one, not two, not three, but seven different people send him links to varying posts, with people going a little nutso over his little meeting with you.

Kira’s happy too; she was all smiles for the rest of the night, texting on her phone, disappearing to relay things with Anderson before giving Katsuki his personal items back out of her satchel, and knocking off for the night. He didn’t plan to stay, but he did; had a few bourbons and hung out with Shinsou and Denki and their little gang until daybreak.

Shinsou’s sent him a few messages— he’s a double texter— and Katsuki touches base with him before delving into the world of social media, just to see how successful Meeting One was.

He’s fucking trending.

As much as he’s loathe to search his hashtag, he clicks into it; he scrolls through candid and posed photos of him in his red and black ensemble, people’s text posts commenting on how they would let him “eat them alive” among other—more intense—things, and pictures of you.

He looks at those the longest, studies the lines and curves of your face, compares how you look when you’re at ease versus when you smile brightly. You’re pretty in a… normal way. He’s kinda blown away that they didn’t pick some overly glamorous pop idol, that they found someone that’s practically his type.

Fuck, it makes him a gross type of nervous, though. The way that he’s not going to hate this makes it worse and better, and he’s conflicted because this might not be as bad as he anticipated, and he’s not sure if he likes that or not.

His social media deep dive takes him to your page, and he lays in his bed for what feels like hours scrolling through your content. You’re the weather girl for the nation’s most watched breakfast program, Good Morning Japan, and you’re clearly the show’s sweetheart. There’s photos of you with fluffy animals, on boats, at the beach, with celebrities. Katsuki feels like a dunce for not knowing your name when he read it on the paper.

One of the top posts in your hashtag is a photo of you in a bikini and a sarong, feet ankle deep in the shallow waters of Furuzamami Beach.

Fuck, you’re hot.

He throws his phone towards the end of the bed and begins his morning routine; Deku’s given him the office shift this week, and he intends to make the most out of it.

—

“Hey,” Katsuki pants, breathless.

“Katsuki, bro, the weather girl from channel 5?” Eijirou’s voice is smug as all as it rings through his AirPods. “She’s cute!”

“Eijirou, I will hang up on you.” He threatens, taking the museum stairs two at a time. He’s on his afternoon run through the city, pushing himself a little further than usual because of… reasons. The best part about being on office shift, is he finishes his shift as soon as paperwork is caught up on. And Katsuki is efficient as fuck.

“Akari keeps asking me when you’re over next, by the way. She said that you promised to take her to the parlour again.”

“Oh.” Yeah he did do that. Had her pretend she was feeling sick so he could slip from the grasp of some fans.

“Yeah, you’re bribing my daughter with ice cream again, aren’t you?”

“When’s your next overnighter?”

“Oh, I’m on days for the month,” he sighs, content on the other end of the line. “Tamaki’s taking my nights so I can spend more time with Aki; I’ve also got tomorrow off for the Maru’s anniversary visit.”

“That’s… nice of him.” Ah, yeah, it's the anniversary tomorrow; Eijirou’s taking it a little easier with each passing year, but the death of his wife is a painful cross to bear.

“Yeah I know, he’s a good guy. Anyways, just wanted to know if you wanted company tonight? I’m making breakfast for dinner.”

“Oh, your favourite.”

“Yeah, can’t go past it, am I right?”

“I’ll come around for a bit, but I’ve got a big day tomorrow, so I can’t sleep over.” By big day, he means he’s meeting you again, and he needs the night to himself to overthink the whole thing.

“You got a whole room there, though.”

“Ei, as much as I love you and Aki, I love my bed more.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” There's some shuffling on his end, paperwork probably, then he perks back up. “How long have you been feeding me decaf tea?”

“What?”

“I have decaf tea in my cupboard at home.”

“Ei, I give you decaf every time.”

“Oh.”

“See you tonight; do you need me to bring anything?”

“Nah, I’m all organised.”

There’s a pause where Katsuki contemplates bringing up the anniversary, but thinks better of it. “Be over around six.”

—

He’s not all organised.

If Katsuki could pretend to be surprised, he would, but, “You forgot the eggs? For breakfast for dinner? No eggs?”

“Dude, don’t do this, Akari’s already given me shit for it.”

“It’s fine,” Katsuki suppresses a grin. “I’ll run down and get some. Aki, want anything from the corner store?”

“Chocolate milk!” She yells from her room upstairs.

“Hey, get beers, too.” Eijirou says offhandedly.

This makes Katsuki pause. “Ei.”

“Kats.” He says in response, not meeting his gaze.

“Ugh, fine.” He grunts, sliding his shoes back on and toying with the black facemask in his pocket. “You can thank Maru for my leniency.” He says, glare hot on his friend. Eijirou just grins back as he fixes his stupid ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron behind his back, and Katsuki pulls on his beanie and mask, setting out for the walk.

He knows he wants to settle down a little further from the city. Ideally, even further than this. Sure, it’s a quiet neighbourhood, safe, where the houses have yards, and there’s grass, and trees, but… Katsuki needs more space. Privacy.

His relationship with the spotlight is rocky at best, and there’s this nagging in the back of Katsuki’s brain that warns him off all of this social media shit, the trending, the paparazzi, the overzealous fans.

The bell jingles as he enters the corner shop; it’s later than rush hour, but earlier than the typical teenaged late night snack visit, so the place is quiet.

He grabs the eggs from the shelf and heads down the aisle to the fridges, set on pulling the door open and grabbing a six pack of Sapporos.

“Oh!” A woman gasps, about to grab the handle as he reaches for it. “Sorry!” Her apology slips from her lips, and he feels his face flush a little under his mask.

It’s his fault, he’s been in his own head all afternoon. “No, I—”

It’s you.

You seem to make the realisation just as he does, your eyes widening and a gasp leaving your lips. And you both stare, his own eyes glued yours as if he were stuck in some kind of trance, as if you had him under some kind of spell.

You blink first, and he forces himself to look away for a second, so he can catch his bearings.

“I’m sorry Bakugo, I wasn’t paying attention.” You’re wearing a facemask as well, but your smile pushes your cheeks up to crinkle your eyes.

“Nah, neither was I,” he admits. “You live around here?”

“Me? No, I’m cat-sitting for a friend.” You laugh. “Gosh, this is surreal, isn’t it? Imagine running into you here of all places.”

“Yeah, both of us buying beers,” he does his best to joke— which sounds fucking stupid, by the way— but you laugh a little more, glance around the shop before leaning closer to him.

“Feels like we shouldn’t be talking yet, doesn’t it?” Your eyes almost sparkle under the harsh fluorescent lighting, and he can’t help but stare. “I just wanna say thanks, though— for catching me at the Gala. I wasn’t going to trip so hard, but you were standing there like some grumpy Adonis, and I—” you lean up to whisper in his ear. “I got nervous and actually tripped.”

“Lucky I got good reflexes, huh?” He quips back, suddenly feeling super nervous— which is weird as hell.

“The best— Oh, I better let you get back to your night.” You take a step back, open the door and grab a bottle of wine, boots squeaking on the linoleum floor when you crouch down to grab a 6-pack of beers. “These ones?”

He nods, points to the pink knee-length rain boots you’re wearing. “They’re cute,” he can’t help but snicker. “All part of the weather girl uniform, I guess?”

You hand him the beers with a laugh as you stand. “I happen to think they suit me,” you say in defence, pointing and tapping a toe dramatically.

“You’d be right,” he says a little too gently, clearing his throat when you look up at him with surprise through your lashes. “I, uh,” he starts, those damn nerves not going away. “See you around.”

“Y-yeah, sure.” You nod. “I’m gonna check out the ice cream, bye!” Then in a flash of tan coat and pink boots, you’re heading back towards the frozen section, and he’s shaking his head, eggs in one hand and beers in the other.

He tries not to stare too much, tries not to dwell on the lightness of his heart, or how god damn likeable you are. Instead he hastily grabs a chocolate milk, heads to the checkout, pays for the goods, and leaves.

—

There’s an undercurrent of sorrow that he can feel Eijirou trying to push down all evening. It doesn’t quite seep into Akari— she was only a baby when her mum passed— but Eiji’s frayed edges scratch at Katsuki, and deep into the night they’re both tipsy, sitting on the back porch nursing beers after Akari heads to bed.

They don’t need to talk— far past silence being uncomfortable— but when Eijirou’s shoulders start to shake, Katsuki wraps an arm around him, pulls his head to his chest, and lets him sob.

He stays on the couch, still not ready to christen those All Might bedsheets.

—

The second “official” meeting is supposed to happen while he’s on duty. He read through the file this time, so he’s prepared; maybe even a little… over prepared.

It’s morning, and you’re supposed to be at a certain famous bakery, sampling the goods in an advertising bid between the cafe and your work; weather on location, or something ridiculous. Then, he’s supposed to enter, and he’s supposed to look at you like ‘oh, you’re from the Gala’, and you’re supposed to look at him the same way.

The Commission didn’t account for Katsuki running into an actual villain.

He wipes his bloodied nose on the back of his glove, watches as Iida drives the crook away in the back of a paddy wagon, then pulls his other glove off with his teeth to look at his watch.

9:15am. The meeting was scheduled for 8:10am.

“All good, Dynamight?” One of the EMT’s waves him over and he inwardly groans.

“It’s just my nose, I’m fine.” He insists, swatting the little green man away.

“Just let me do a couple of observations, dude, it’ll take two minutes.” His pink eyes narrow up at Katsuki, and the grumpy blonde gives in, following him over to a bench and sitting down, letting him work his paramedic magic on him.

His phone vibrates in the pocket of his tac pants, and his watch tells him it’s Kira. He taps a few buttons on his watch, connects it effortlessly to the earpiece in his left ear. “Hey,”

“Bakugo, what happened? Anderson is pissed.” She hisses through the earpiece.

“I am currently with…” He glances down at the short man crouching around his med-pack, reads his name badge. “Midori— Really? Your name is the colour of your skin?”

“Bakugo.” Kira presses.

“That’s my Japanese name, my real name’s Timothy.” Midori sasses back, pink glare venomous.

“Timothy, huh?” Katsuki tests the name on his tongue, gauges Midori’s reaction to the pronunciation; the other man seems to soften a little.

“Bakugo.”

“Just use Timothy—“

“Bakugo, focus!” Kira borderline barks in his ear.

“Right, yeah, sorry, I’m here.” Katsuki sighs, looking up at the puffy white- grey clouds overhead.

“We have to reschedule for tomorrow,” Kira sighs, probably doing that thing where she pushes her glasses up and pinches the bridge of her nose. “She’s heading to the coast, though, so you’re gonna have to—“

Kira wants him to what?

His semi-sunny disposition sours. “I can’t do that.”

“Bakugo.”

“Kira,” he starts, feeling his blood pressure rise along with the octave of his voice. He glances down at Mido—Timothy, tries to control his volume. “I’m on patrol shifts this week, I can’t do that.”

He can’t let Izuku or Shouto or Ochako down. That, and he can’t think of a good excuse to be heading to the coast.

“No, you’re right. It’d be better if she could meet you halfway or something.” Kira sighs, conceding a little.

He drops his chin, focuses that glare of his at the pavement next to Timothy. “Not half way—”

“Oh, ouch, are you okay?” Pink rain boots step into his vision, and when he looks up, you’re smiling down at him. He just… stares stupidly up at you, feels something warm and wet drip over his lip as your eyes widen. “You’re bleeding, Bakugo.”

“Shit,” he turns away from you, swipes at the wetness of his upper lip, knowing he’s probably just spreading it.

“Here,” you gently bully his hand away from his face, dab at him with something damp and smelling of coconut. It takes a moment for him to register that you’re sitting next to him, wiping at him like a nurse while the god damn EMT is kneeling at his feet, and Kira is screaming for his attention in his ear.

Without even thinking, he ends that call, silences his earphones on his smartwatch.

“You’ve got your work boots on,” he starts, wary. “You on the clock?”

“Oh, I had a thing a few blocks away, and heard my new favourite hero apprehended some bad guy in the same district.” Your focus isn’t on him, you’re in your handbag, fussing around with wet wipes and a little plastic bag and a handkerchief.

“So, you came for a walk?” He asks, staring. Staring because seeing you on social media is vastly different to seeing you in person, and so close. He could count your lashes, could reach out and test the softness of your skin, your glossy lips—

“Yep.” You grin, looking up and meeting his eyes.

It’s a spark— the same one from the corner store— and it pulls deep in his chest, your beauty and charm and the peace you bring almost overwhelming, yet entirely endearing—

“Hey— sorry, I know this is a wrong place, wrong time type thing,” Timothy stands up, fishes his phone out of his pocket, your spell broken as you both look up at him. “But I’m a huge fan,”

“Of me?” You chirp, surprised. And it takes Katsuki a moment, because usually it’s him being approached with nervous apprehension.

“Yeah, who else?”

You send a sideways glance to Katsuki, “uh, the actual top ten hero in our midst?”

“The top ten hero doesn’t look good in a swimsuit.” Katsuki says under his breath, and you giggle while Timothy pales.

“I’m sure you do,” you whisper back to him, before standing up. “Alright, sure, a selfie?” You ask, all of your attention on Timothy, who smiles at you, his pink irises akin to sparkling hearts; and much to his horror, Katsuki feels like he wants to steal you away from him.

“S-sounds good to me,” Timothy stammers, just as enamoured as Katsuki feels.

“‘Kay,” you agree, smile big and bright and Katsuki has to look away or he might get giddy by proxy. Timothy’s cheeks flush when you stand close—too close, probably— and you direct him into taking a few pics, before making him show you each of them, your nose scrunching as you scrutinise each one.

“Why does my nose look like that?” You frown at the EMT, a little wounded kitty.

“You look great though! You don’t mind if I post it to social media?” He asks, and Katsuki resists an eye roll.

“Of course not! Make sure to tag me so I can follow you back.”

Katsuki stands, hands on his hips. “Perfect, are you done? We’re busy.” He means to say that he’s busy, and he also means to glare at both of you, but it just doesn’t pan out that way. So, he runs with it, throws caution to the wind, and offers his hand to you.

All to quickly, he’s got anxiety nibbling at his heels— the fear of rejection, of ‘am i doing too much too quickly?’ of ‘should I be going off script just because you are?’. It sets in, and almost sends him spiralling. Almost, is the key, though, because before that little beast can sink its teeth into him, you’re taking his hand, practically skipping to his side, and beaming that too-brilliant smile up at him.

“I know a cafe,” you say, waving that pesky EMT off and almost pulling him away from the little crowd Katsuki’s pretending not to notice.

“I bet you do,” he can’t help but look at you— and it feels so schoolboy, and too soon, and off script— and he can’t help but get swept away in the ease at which you flow.

“We can share a parfait,” you lean into him with a little smile, whisper it like a secret. Your arm links around his then, and you lean against his bicep, look up at him through your lashes like a Disney branded cherub.

“Bet you’ll eat the cherry,” he snickers, trying to gain the upper hand, trying to gauge whether or not you’re getting swept up in him, too, because this… this thing isn’t natural, isn’t created from a want, but a need, a contract—

“Silly,” you pull away a bit and pout, “we’ll get two cherries.” And, fuck, you’re pretty. Pretty in all of the ways he loves, like the Commission have his tastes on file. You’re kind where he’s mean, and fun where he’s serious, edges soft where his are hard.

The seed of doubt’s been planted, though, because he can feel himself closing up, shutting down. Even though he’d love to stay in this flirtatious little moment with you, soak up all that attention you’re showering him with, he needs to be realistic— is wired to do so.

You’re acting.

He’s acting.

At least, he’s supposed to be

[we-do-be-writing]

Here to Help

Liam Dunbar x Reader

The call wakes you up in the middle of the night, and after ignoring the sound time and time again, it becomes unbearable. You groan to yourself as you reach for your phone and press answer, "What the fresh hell do you want?"

"Hey Y/n, I know it's late, but I just left Liam's and he seems really bothered by something." You hear the voice say.

"I'm sorry," You mumble, "I kind of just woke up and need a little refresher. Who are you?"

"It's Mason, Mason Hewitt, I'm Liam Dunbar's best friend."

"Okay, now I'm caught up. You said Liam is being bothered?" You ask, sitting up in your bed and turning on the light.

"Yeah, he just seems worried or something. I'm not entirely sure what's going on with this new friendship he has with you and Scott and them, but maybe he'll tell you whatever he's hiding from me." Mason says, and you can hear the slight sadness in his voice at the thought that Liam may not trust him as much anymore.

"Uh, yeah, I can go check on him for you. I'll let you know what I can." You say, already out of bed and throwing on some presentable clothes. Mason thanks you before hanging up and leaving you in silence.

Luckily, it doesn't take you long to get to Liam's house and the weather is nice, so the walk over is comfortable. You debate climbing up the side of the house but decide on going through the front door.

Liam's stepdad answers the door and greets you with a confused expression, "Liam seems to be a popular guy tonight."

"I just got a text from Mason, apparently I forgot about a project for Coach's class. He said Liam was complaining because we're supposed to work together, and he doesn't want to be put on the bench for lacrosse. Thought I might as well ease his worries as quick as possible." You explain with a tired smile, still feeling sleepy from Mason's abrupt call.

"I see, well he's up in his room," Liam's stepdad says while moving aside, "does he know you're here?"

"Nah, he doesn't, but I'll try and not surprise him." You walk into the house and head to Liam's room.

"Liam? It's Y/n," You knock on the door and when there's no response you push it open, "Liam?"

The scream he lets out is honestly incredible. You may even argue that it can rival Lydia's banshee scream. To say it throws you for a loop is an understatement and you're surprised his stepdad doesn't come running upstairs.

Liam quickly flicks the light on, still catching his breath and you can see his eyes going wild, "Y/n? What the hell are you doing here?"

"Mason called me, he said you were bothered by something." You say with a hand on your forehead as you also try to catch your breath.

"Well now I'm bothered." Liam sighs, sitting up in his bed. You almost laugh at his words but decide against it based on how truly shaken the boy in front of you looks.

You both stay still for a while, and you notice how Liam looks at the dark corners of his room before taking more deep breaths.

"Okay," You sit on the edge of his bed, "let's talk about what's bothering you."

"What do you mean?" He mumbles, looking down at his hands which are fiddling in his lap.

"You're scared of something, and I think anyone would be able to see it." You say, waiting for him to say something. When he doesn't you continue,

"Kira told me about your fight with the Berserkers, and how shaken up you seemed by it. You know you can talk to any of us about it, we won't judge you."

Liam stays quiet for a little bit before releasing a soft sigh and curling his legs in more, giving you more room to get comfortable on his bed, before saying, "I keep seeing them everywhere. It's like they're haunting me."

"Well, that makes sense, I mean those things are terrifying. Honestly, I think they make everyone scared." You say, thinking about how threatening the Berserker's presence is.

"How do you guys deal with this ... all the fear and uncertainty of everything going on." Liam asks.

"Well, I think everyone has different methods, and you don't have to worry about following exactly what Scott does. Hell, even Scott is still learning, and some things that work for him might not work for you. I can tell you what I do, but don't feel discouraged if it doesn't work. We can work together to find what does, because that's one of the things packmates are for." You tell him.

"I just don't want to seem weaker than the rest of you, I mean you're all so much more knowledgeable compared to me." Liam sighs, resting his head in his hands.

You reach out and pull one of his hands into yours before you speak, "Trust me Liam, we are not much farther along than you when it comes to knowledge. I mean you and I are both freshmen and the only reason I know more is because I came here as a werewolf and Derek's family happened to know mine. Plus, you were very abruptly thrown into this, you shouldn't feel weaker in any way. You've got to give yourself more time to process it all."

Liam nods his head, shyly looking at you through the hand that still covers his face. You give his hand a squeeze and give him a kind smile, giving him some time to respond. When he doesn't you continue,

"But you don't have to deal with all of that right now, for now let's focus on getting through the night."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." Liam breathes out, rubbing his face before removing his hand and letting it fall to his knees. He takes a deep breath then looks away from you while asking,

"Can you stay a little longer?"

"I will stay as long as you want me to," You reply, glancing over at the game console in Liam's room, "how about we play a game."

"Yeah, that would be nice."

You and Liam go and sit on the floor, grabbing the controllers and booting up the console. After a couple rounds Liam seems to loosen up and relax, seemingly forgetting about his worries for the time being. Eventually, he starts to doze off with his head resting against his bed and you decide to move him from the floor to his bed after you turn the console and tv off.

"Seems like your adrenaline has worn off." You whisper to him, and he gives you a sleepy nod. You brush some of his hair away from his eyes and then slowly leave the room.

Liam's stepdad is still awake as you shut the door and make your way back to the main room of the house. He looks up as you enter and gives you a smile before he speaks,

"Thank you, Y/n, for talking to him. I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm glad he has people who are trying to help him."

"Yeah, I will always help Liam, that's what friends are for. I was actually wondering if it would be okay if I stayed the night, it's kinda late and my family has gone to bed." You ask, twisting your fingers together in nervousness. Honestly, you felt bad leaving Liam to wake up alone when you were there when he fell asleep.

"Uh, yeah, I guess that's alright, thank you for asking me." Liam's stepdad says as he stands up, "just no funny business."

He gives a laugh at the look of shock that crosses your face before bidding you goodnight and leaving the room. You turn on your heel and walk back into Liam's room where he gives you a sleepy look.

"Are you leaving?" He whispers, and you feel your heart clench at the sad look in his eyes.

"Nah, I'm gonna stay the night, if that works for you."

"Yeah, that works." He hides his face in the pillow and you can see his consciousness slipping back into sleep.

"Goodnight Liam." You say, getting on the other side of his bed which is luckily quite large.

"Goodnight Y/n." Liam responds, and you hear him take a deep breath before settling further into the bed. His hand reaches out and you intertwine your fingers with his as he turns off the light. Slowly, his grip slackens as he falls into a deeper sleep.

Before sleep fully comes, you remember to text Mason and tell him that Liam is alright. As you send the text, you think about how grateful you are that he decided to call you instead of someone else. You give Liam's hand one more squeeze before settling into the bed, ready for one of the best sleeps of your life.

[gigantomachy1916]

L, Misa, and Sex in Death Note

Well well well, if it isn't me again, using this site like an actual blog and writing goddamn essays for an audience of like 5 people because I don't understand how Tumblr works.

I've just been thinking recently that it surprises me a bit when people see L/Misa as an implausible crack ship, especially compared to the much more popular ship of L/Light. I mean, I get why people like Lawlight. I went through my own Lawlight phase, and I still read fics about them sometimes. The homoerotic subtext between L and Light is pretty obvious.

But L's sexual interest in Misa isn't even subtext. It's literally just text. Yes, you can argue whether it's real or just an act. But in canon, every single time we see an unambiguous expression of sexual interest from L, it is directed towards Misa. (By "unambiguous" I mean "this dialogue/action is clearly intended to be sexual," but that doesn't make it necessarily genuine, since L could be lying). I'm putting the rest of this under a cut cause it's long.

The funny thing is, though it contradicts the way L is usually interpreted in fanon, out of all of the main characters, Misa and L are probably the ones who display the most sexuality. Whether L's displays of sexuality are an act or not, he's much more likely than Light to make comments about sex or to do shit like this:

And then there's the fact that L and Misa's interactions are often sexualized, even when L's actions have logical explanations. For instance, L touching her butt to steal her phone, or restraining her in an unnecessarily fetishy sort of way (she could've been held captive in the same way Light was if Watari had just worn a helmet every time he entered the room). A reader might believe that L doesn't see those situations as sexual at all, and was just doing what was necessary to catch Kira. But it was an active choice that Ohba made, to make L's actions in investigating Kira "just happen" to require sexualized interactions with Misa.

My friend @litterateur97 (who I also have to thank for reminding me about the above panel) has made some good points about this as well: as they said in a post the other day, "I noticed in the manga and in the anime that most of the time when L and Misa argue, they lean in towards one another, as if pulled towards one another. He is also often seen watching her, on cameras and in person, in a manner that looks sexual to me." This gif I stole from them illustrates both points, not only showing them getting in each other's personal space during an argument, but also, as they pointed out, L begins by looking down at Misa's chest before making eye contact with her.

Besides that, L and Misa have a tendency to be playful with each other in ways that could be interpreted as flirtatious. Compared to L and Light, who tend to be more dramatic and serious, Misa brings out L's more childish and teasing side. She pulls his hair, he bonks her on the head with a megaphone and threatens to kick her, etc. They have a very different type of chemistry than L and Light, more fun than serious, "opposites attract" as opposed to the intellectual match that L and Light have, but to my eyes, the chemistry between L and Misa clearly exists.

I've been wondering why people seem so quick to overlook this, or to brush off all of L's interest in Misa as purely an act and think of L as basically asexual. I think part of it is that Misa's role in Death Note involves personifying the romance/sexuality that is mostly omitted from the plot and the other characters. (Which is a pretty classic thing for a sexist author to do: Misa is our Token Woman, and women are identified with sex and romance, thus Misa must be.) She's sexualized in many of her interactions with the other male characters, though to a lesser extent than she is when she interacts with L.

So it seems to me like people attribute the sexual nature of their interactions to Misa, not to L. It's seen as an extension of Misa being the Sexy One, not as a true expression of L's sexuality. I personally have some ideas as to why so many of Misa and L's interactions in canon were sexualized; I think that L is used as a surrogate by which the authors can sexualize Misa.

One interesting thing is that, despite sexuality being such a fundamental part of her character, Misa isn't actually sexualized in the art very much. Compared to other manga, even other shonen manga, her artwork doesn't feel that male gaze-y. We don't get many cleavage/upskirt shots of her; even when she's wearing lingerie, she's drawn pretty neutrally, with a few exceptions. We can see that she's trying to look sexy, and that many of the characters find her sexy, but they're not especially trying to excite the reader. My guess is that Obata and Ohba purposefully avoided fanservice because they felt it would make the manga seem less serious.

But despite the lack of fanservice, they still wanted to convey that Misa was the Sexy Character. How to do this, if not through art? They used L. Compared to Light, who takes himself seriously and is more composed, L usually behaves in socially inappropriate ways. So they use L's behavior towards Misa as one of the main ways of indicating to the reader that Misa is seen as a sex object.

This especially stood out to me in the omakes (4-panel comics). There's the whole joke plot where it's implied that L is trying to figure out whether Misa's "carpet matches the drapes," only for it to be revealed that he's actually wondering about her sock color (which is a case where Ohba is injecting the concept of sex into their relationship even if L's actual intentions are innocent). There's also this moment, where L makes a totally unprompted sexual comment about Misa:

Another reason I think that people see L/Misa as a crack ship is that L's sexual interest in Misa is pretty much always played for laughs. Ohba seems to find it comical to consider L as a sexual being at all (apparently he considered making Near and Mello L's sons, but decided against it because he couldn't picture L having sex). In much the same way that L is used to draw attention to Misa as a sex object, Misa's sex appeal is used to give Ohba a reason to allude to L's sexuality, which is mostly done as comic relief. But the fact that it's portrayed as comical doesn't mean that it's "crack," or that L's attraction to Misa isn't a real aspect of his character. After all, L's obsession with sweets is similarly used for comedy.

Obviously there is no real need to justify our ships by canon, or to care that much about the canon take on things. Still, I think it's interesting to consider how much of L's sexual interest in Misa was meant as genuine. My take on canon, which may be very different than others, is that L does have sexual desires, if not any real-world experience with sex. And I think that if we accept that L is sexually attracted to anyone at all, there is the most evidence for that person being Misa.

Does he exaggerate that interest in order to manipulate Misa, or to weird her out? Absolutely. A lot of his socially inappropriate behavior seems like a front that he puts up in order to distance himself from those around him and prevent them from knowing him as a person. But at the same time, I think there is a kernel of truth behind the front. I don't think it goes as far as romantic interest (I wouldn't say that he actually "fell for" her), and it doesn't mean that he doesn't find her irritating and dumb much of the time, but I think that his behavior towards Misa is so consistently sexually charged that I would be surprised if it's 100% fake.

Besides that, even in a reading where L is entirely asexual/gay and only faking interest in Misa to make her uncomfortable, it's undeniable that Ohba is purposefully sexualizing their interactions, likely as a shortcut to sexualizing Misa herself without having to include a bunch of fanservice. So if the people in this fandom like to read into every bit of homoerotic subtext between L and Light (which, again, I am on board with), I don't really see why y'all would be surprised by people choosing to explore the sexual component to L and Misa's interactions that's been purposefully included in canon.

Honestly, I think this is what first got me interested in the ship. When I was a lil preteen in the early Death Note fandom, I, like about a million other people, had a crush on L. And I liked to watch his interactions with Misa. Because sexuality and romance was mostly sidelined in Death Note, and they seemed to have an attitude that serious geniuses didn't care about that stuff, I found it exciting when the show implied that L was a person who felt sexual or romantic desire, and that Misa brought out a side of him that was not seen in his other scenes in the show.

Whether Ohba intended it to be real or not, I wanted to believe it was real, because it made his character more interesting and compelling to me. It humanized him in some way, made him more vulnerable, especially when compared to Light, who always seemed very cold and sterile to me. And because of that, this ship has always had a special place in my heart.

[imhidingonceagain]

Things that might potentially happen in the Teen wolf movie and scare the shit out of me:

(of course this is just my opinion)

1. Allison actually coming back as a real person: I mean... If she's a ghost, a vengeful spirit or if we see her in flashbacks that's cool, but if they revive her somehow I think that's bullshit.

2. The new girl being Kira's replacement: It's almost a fact that she's her replacement but if they make her 100% like Kira I think I might actually throw up.

3. Them making the new girl and Liam a couple (Related to the previous point): I am a big Thiam shipper and therefore this is one of the things that scare me the most. J. Davis recycled Allison and Scott's story with Liam and Hayden so... Also Dylan Sprayberry and the new actress have been suspiciously together but I really really hope I'm wrong.

If you're not gonna give us Thiam at least don't crush our spirits like that. Let Liam's love life ALONE please.

4. Them ignoring Theo's existence: This one is also related to the previous one. Theo was alive and was considered an ally to the pack. He had a redemption arc and was very important for the development of the last two seasons. Also... We have seen that they're going to somehow mention the Dread Doctors (based ok Khylin Rambo's Ig Stories) and Theo was essential for that storyline so if they ignore his existence or just blatantly kill him out of screen I'm gonna riot.

I don't think Jeff imagined how popular Theo Raeken would become. If you want proof go to Teen wolf's Twitter account and see how many people mentioned Theo when they knew about the movie.

5. The possibility that Eli Hale is Stiles replacement: Listen... NO ONE will ever be capable of replacing someone as iconic as Stiles. But I wouldn't be surprised if they try to somehow replicate his personality making Eli Hale a Stiles 2.0 instead of giving him his own personality.

6. Making Kate Argent Eli's mom: Teen wolf's timelines have ALWAYS been messy. But I'm still trying to figure out how Derek Hale has a 15 year old son. Derek would be in his 30's in this movie but for him to have a 15 year old son he would have to have him incredibly young. And we know what a fucking creep Kate Argent was.

I was hoping he would be his and Braeden's child but I obviously don't think that's the case given Eli's physical appearance.

7. Breaking up Stydia: I was watching The teen wolf wiki guy's video and the dude (he's a weirdo by the way but sometimes he brings useful info) and he said that we shouldn't expect to see "teenage relationships" lasting and that ships are not even important in a supernatural/fantasy series. I couldn't disagree more. Teen wolf's writing was messy most of the time and many of us stayed for the characters and their relationships. So why building something so loved by the fandom (or at least many people in the fandom) like Stydia and then destroy it out of camera? People are already pissed that they were cowards who didn't dare to give us Thiam endgame so... If they erase Stydia... Well they might as well sleep with an eye open.

10. Makings Lydia and Jackson super close: I know that people started to like Jackson in S6 but to me... He never actually did something that actually gave him a redemption. And it honestly boils my blood that they acted as if he never was abusive towards Lydia. Listen Jeff... MAKING SOMEONE GAY DOESN'T AUTOMATICALLY MAKE HIM A GOOD PERSON.

11. Them pairing Mason and Jackson: Okay hear me out. I know this is probably a stretch but J. Davis has made the weirdest relationships before and since Aiden and Corey are nowhere to be seen, I wouldn't be surprised if they pair Mason with Jackson just because they're both LGBT.

I don't know dude... I hope I'm wrong.

Ps: English is not my first language so I apologize if my grammar sounds off.

[thehollowprince]

"Pretty girl, pretty boy, and boom, instant couple." fandom and shipping culture has just completely warped our brains hasn't it? As if it isn't still important to see interracial couples in media, the fact that they are (presumably) heterosexual doesn't make it any less groundbreaking. Same with Scott and Kira, because how often does a popular show feature an interracial couple where neither party is white?

Oh, you are preaching to the choir!

Fandom has gotten to the point where it's so far removed from its source material that they might as well be two entirely separate entities.

For example, I saw a post recently that really hit the nail on the head.

Squid Game.

I can't tell you how many memes I saw making light of the show's incredibly heavy and dark subject matter. Or the fanarts that sexualized the guys in the red jumpsuits and geometric masks. Hell, I even saw celebrities that were having Squid Game themed parties, where they dressed up in costumes from the show. Fandom looked at this show about the exploitation of the poor by the wealthy for their entertainment, and said "it's all about the aesthetics".

It gets worse when you add shipping into the mix.

I have said it before and I'll say it again: shipping is the death of fandom.

Too many people are concerned with making their coffee shop AUs or their Soulmate AUs (or whatever) and not the actual text they're supposed to be basing everything on.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate a good AU as much as the next person, but I base my opinions on characters and ships on what actually happened "on screen".

What is truly baffling about the whole thing, particularly in fandoms like Teen Wolf, is how shipping not only completely dominates the fandom, but attempts to rewrite canon as well.

When I started to get involved in the fandom, season three was airing. I had only just finished season one, and so you can imagine my confusion when I saw that Sterek was such a big part of that fandom. At first I thought that maybe something had happened in the second season that I hadn't gotten to yet, but once I watched it, I was even more confused. There is literally nothing behind that ship except two pretty faces. Their entire relationship throughout the actual show was either sarcastic barbs or being outright antagonistic to each other. To make matters worse, they then rewrite the entire show to make the ship seem plausible to them and others, so that everything that created these characters and the story itself is now meaningless, because they've moved completely into an AU.

But then, when you criticize said ship, you get either harassed by A, or accused of being a homophobe. With the latter, I got a lot of messages back in the day, because I was more interested in Danny... y'know, the actual gay character on the show. But no, fandom chose to focus on a crack ship composed of two characters that had never been described as anything other than heterosexual.

But like you said, interracial relationships are important, and yet sadly incredibly rare, especially those where both parties aren't white. Sadly, that brings us back to the racism that permeates fandom. It's neither surprising nor unexpected, though maybe a little startling in its ferocity, but no, never a surprise. After all, racism is built into every aspect of our society, from our infrastructure to our politics to our educational system. Of course it'll be in our entertainment as well.

Racism and heteronormativity are the cornerstones that our society is built on. And you may be asking yourself, what does the latter have to do with a slash ship. Well, after looking at it for years, I can tell you that Sterek is a slash ship written for (and by) straight people. It's one of a number.

[kikyan]

The Forbidden Fruit

Yandere Light Yagami x Female! Reader 

“ Don’t worry [Y/N], my brother is amazing at studying! We can ask him some questions and you’ll understand it also immediately!!” Sayu said as she walked inside her nice decorative home with [Y/N] following behind. She took off her shoes and put on slippers, with [Y/N] following her actions. Sayu went to the kitchen where her mom was preparing a meal to fully satisfy the family during dinner and their little guest. 

“ Hey, Mom! Is light home yet? Me and [Y/N] need help with our homework!” 

Turning to face Sayu, she removed the ladle from the steaming pot and tilted her head to ponder on a suitable answer. 

“ He isn’t, I think he has cram school today. He’ll be a bit late so why don’t you guys get started on it now and skip over the ones you don’t know? I’m sure by the time he arrives you’ll be finished with a majority of it!” 

“ Hm. . .Okay! Wait, [Y/N] how long can you stay?” 

“ The latest I can stay is around 8. I live 3 blocks from here so I should be fine staying this late.” 

“ Oh, then you can stay for dinner! In the meantime, let’s go to my room!” 

[Y/N] and Sayu ran to her room, Sayu loudly speaking moving about grabbing pens and pencils as she sat down on her bed. Instead of doing her homework, she grabbed a nearby magazine and examined its contents. 

“ Hey, [Y/N]! Come look at this!” 

“ What happened to homework Sayu?” 

“ Later! My big brother will help us so don’t worry! Hey, come look at this though! Isn’t it pretty?” 

[Y/N] simply turned away with a pout on her face. She sighed as she reached into her backpack and pulled out her homework and began to work on it by herself. Sayu put her magazine down before chirping a small, “When you finish let me see the answers” and picked up where she left off.

[Y/N] grumbled a small, ‘ if you aren’t going to help then neither will I’ before focusing on a question. Sayu whined loudly before placing the magazine down and joining her friend on the floor. 

“ Fine, if you want to do homework, we can do homework.” 

“ Good, that is what I came here to do.” 

“ You’re no fun.” 

Sayu eventually gave in and began to do homework with [Y/N], stumped on some of the problems they ignored them. The front door was opened and soon enough Light entered the room as Sayu let out a happy gasp as she turned to [Y/N], “ Brothers home! You know what that means!” 

“ Sayu, while we may need help you shouldn’t use your brother like that.” 

“ Oh c’mon, he is super smart and top of his class, he doesn’t mind helping!” 

“ Sayu. . .” 

[Y/N] kept an emotionless expression as they witnessed Sayu running down the stairs with glee. [Y/N] felt that the least they could do was accompany Sayu to greet her older brother. Once [Y/N] walked downstairs, regret was deep inside their soul when Sayu made eye-contact with her friend. 

“ Oh Light! Here, this is my friend [Y/N]!” 

“ Oh hello. It’s nice to meet you.” 

Light replied with a small smile as he turned to his mother who asked him about his grades and he replied with handing her a parchment in which his mother gasped at seeing them. A smile of delight played on her face as she tilted her head cutely. [Y/N] just turned away and nodded. Light was a bit tired, but he did not fail to see the strange expression on [Y/N]’s face as she looked at him. 

“ I know my brother is popular but jeez [Y/N], drool much?” 

“ Your brother is strange.” 

“ If you mean strange in that he studies a lot then yes!” 

With a laugh, Sayu turned away to return back to her room. 

“ Isn’t he supposed to be helping us? I don’t think mocking him will do you any good, Sayu.” 

Sayu gasped as she ran to Light’s room to apologize. [Y/N] sighed before grabbing her things, it was close to her curfew even though Sayu rarely did anything. Light’s mom smiled as she walked closer to [Y/N]. 

“ Say, aren’t you hungry dear? Dinner is ready, why don’t you get Sayu and Light and come down to eat? Have a bite before you leave, sweetie.” 

“ Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.” 

“ Nonsense dear! Any friend of Sayu is welcome here! My husband for once won’t be working that late, it’s rare to see everyone together so this will be great!” 

[Y/N] felt a bit strange, her choice clearly had an impact, but still, she would feel even worse for not accepting. She ran upstairs, opening the door to Sayu’s room and shaking her head when she didn’t see her. She went to Light’s room and knocked on the door, after hearing a small ‘  Come in’ from the other side did she open the door. She saw Light in a black long-sleeved shirt and his dress pants. Sayu was begging him to help her with her homework, even pointing to you and saying that you were having difficulties with it as well. 

“ Well. . . if [Y/N] is also struggling then I could offer to help.” 

“ Why does she get special treatment?” 

“ What do you mean, if she knew how to do it then you could just ask her, but if you both need help then I can help you both.” 

“ Sayu, Light, your mother says that dinner is ready and that your father is coming home soon, also, I taught you how to do it Sayu, you just didn’t listen.” 

Before she could even say anything, the moment the door was open, Sayu, bolted out of the door and ran to greet her father. [ Y/N ] stood there, confused momentarily before shaking her head once again and staring at the door. 

“ Sorry, Sayu is a handful at times.” 

“ More like all the time, no offense.” 

“ None taken, though I think we shouldn’t tell her that.” 

“ Maybe so, is Sayu close with her father?” 

“ That’s just her typical reaction to anything really, besides we rarely see our father so I guess her behavior is acceptable.” 

“ I see, does he work often?” 

“ Yes he does, he is a police officer.” 

“ Oh, I see. Anyway dinner is ready, your mother asked me to tell you.” 

“ I’ll be down in a second.” 

[Y/N] nodded, turning away slightly until she laid eyes on a black notebook. It was strange, wasn’t expected of Lights aesthetic, but she didn’t question much about it. Light turned to his notebook before hiding it away and turning to face the door. 

‘ Her friend seems to be perceptive. . . I should be fine if I keep up with the appearance of a good role model citizen.’ 

Light finished his business and went downstairs to where they were all gathered around the table and waiting for Light. Once he made his way to the table, they consumed the meal that was prepared for them, light talk in between bites. 

“ So dad, this is a rare sight. Is everything okay at the station?” 

“ Yeah. . . I can’t say much but this case is putting a big scare on everyone. We’ve never had anything like the Kira case before.” 

“ Kira?” 

[Y/N] perked up at name and everyone was a bit surprised to see that she was a bit unaware of the situation. 

“ You aren’t aware of the news?” 

“ Gosh [Y/N] the whole school talks about it!” 

“ I’m sorry for not paying attention to what they say, most of the time no one has anything worth listening to.” 

A deep, loud laugh was heard as Sayu’s dad chuckled a bit, before turning to Sayu, “ I think I like your friend a lot more Sayu.” 

Light cleared his throat before proceeding, “ Kira is more of a vigilante, he is known for “cleaning up” the streets by killing the criminals in it. Essentially, he is taking justice into his own hands. It wasn’t until the detective known as L broadcasted a video feed that he determined that he only needed a face and a name to kill. The internet is full of information like that, I’m also surprised you didn’t hear about it.” 

[Y/N] paid more attention when ‘L’ was mentioned, she started to deduce her own ideas inside. Sayu looked at her friend and with a snarky smile, “ So, are you team Kira or L?” 

“ Sayu!” 

“ Sayu, we talked about this!” 

“ What, I wanted to see what it was.” 

“ It doesn’t matter, your father is on this case so it’s disrespectful!” 

“ No, it’s alright, anyone is entitled to their opinion. It doesn’t change the fact that we are determined to stop Kira.” 

Light stared at his father and his expression, this did not go unnoticed by [Y/N]. She finished her meal and went to wash the plate. 

“ Oh dear, please don’t worry about the plate. I can do that.” 

“ So can I ma’am, it’s the least I can do in exchange for all the kindness you showed me.” 

[Y/N] finished washing her plate and grabbed her bag, thanking the family and putting her shoes on. Sayu’s mother walked to the entrance and thanked [Y/N] for being Sayu’s friend and for everything she has done. [Y/N] nodded and thanked the woman for her kindness and hospitality.

“ It’s late, Light can walk you home. Can’t you Light?” 

“ No, that’s okay. I don’t want to impose-” 

“ Nonsense, he would be happy to take you. Just a moment, Light sweetie? Can you take [Y/N] home?” 

Light nodded before grabbing his coat and headed outside with [Y/N]. As they were walking, silence fell upon them like snow, until Light attempted to lighten the mood and start small talk. 

“ Thank’s for looking after Sayu, ever since she met you she has been more excited.” 

“ You can say it, she’s been more annoying huh?” 

“ Well, I wouldn’t put it like that. . .” 

“ It’s okay, besides, it’s Sayu I should be thanking. I recently moved here, and it was Sayu who helped me make friends. I know I don’t look it, sound it, or am that person, but I care a lot for her.” 

With a soft smile, Light looked at [Y/N] before continuing his talk. It wasn’t until a bit later did they talk about Kira. 

“ I know that we were a bit loud back there, but I want to hear your opinions, who do you go for?” 

“ Oh, the L and Kira talk, well, it sounds to me that Kira is doing everyone a favor and killing the criminals, the crime rate will go down from the looks of it, with everyone fearing it, but I think that too much power can get into Kira’s head and he can start hurting innocent people. I don’t have enough information on them to make a decision, but I know that L is a good detective, he might find Kira, or Kira can upstage him, who knows. Personally, I think that he isn’t setting a good example, he kills other while he hates them killing. Ironic really. I have different opinions on both, but I wouldn’t call myself a Kira or L supporter just yet.” 

“ I see, I would love to hear your thoughts when you do!” 

“ Okay. . . anyway’s this is my house, thanks for walking me back. Thank your mom for the meal and tell Sayu that I wrote her how to solve the problems on her sticky note.” 

“ I will, it was nice meeting you!” 

“ Likewise. . “ 

Both separated, Light went home and [Y/N] inside hers. It was dark and cool, she went into her room and looked out the window, Light was walking and for some reason, his lips were moving? Was he talking to himself? His lips were more like, trying to remain quiet, there was no one around and it gave the impression that he was being too cautious. Just what was Light Yagami? 

~~ 

It was a normal day, like any other, someone else died so it was whatever at this point. [Y/N] sighed as she sat in her chair and focused on the board, it was hard to remain awake. Sayu noticed this and leaned over to whisper, “ Didn’t get much sleep?” 

“ Pay attention Sayu, I can’t come over everyday can I?” 

“ Well no, but I should be fin-!?” 

Sayu panicked when the teacher slammed her desk before continuing her discussion, Sayu sent [Y/N] a sour expression as [Y/N] laughed. She stayed up all night this week to read up on the Kira case, L, the killings, everything. It sounded like Kira has a power that is strange to everyone, but they had limits. If anything, she was leaning more towards the L side of anything. Someone who thinks that they have infinite power will more than likely think of themselves as highly. She was just waiting for a chance to prove that. While she didn’t participate in them, she lingered whenever someone wanted to argue about the cases to hear their opinion, in short, they suck. 

She was walking one weekend, she came back from the store when she saw Light in town. He was just leaving as well so he decided to walk with her. She was thankful enough and the small talk turned into a conversation, at first he asked a bit about her thoughts and that was when she revealed some of them. 

“ What I fear is Kira straying off his ideology and hurting others, other than that I don’t have many issues with him. L is more entertaining in my opinion, this whole battle is.” 

“ Oh, well I see. What do you think Kira’s end goal is?” 

“ A better society, that’s why he is getting rid of the criminals at least, I only hope it’s only bad guys.” 

After a short conversation, they encountered a small dog as [Y/N] went to pet it, for some reason the dog was fixed on Light. 

“ I think the dog likes you Light.” 

“ You think so?” 

“ He seems to like staring at you, or more like someone next to you, but there is nothing there, or is there?” 

‘ Did she touch the notebook?’ 

Light questioned it while looking at [Y/N] as she was looking at something other than Light, she was looking straight at Ryuk. Light turned to look at Ryuk, turning back to [Y/N]. Ryuk moved to the side and while the dog’s eyes followed, [Y/N] did the same. 

“ It’s a joke.” 

Light changed his expression to one of amusement as he laughed a bit. Deep in his mind he was worried, was she playing with him? 

“ You know, I had a friend back then before I moved that told me that animals can sense or see the things we can’t. She mentioned that animals can also see ghosts and impure things. It is rumored that when a dog barks, but there is nothing out there is because they are trying to drive out the evil spirit or alert others. Who knows, it was fixated on something next to you, maybe you’re being haunted or something.” 

“ Haha, well, I don’t think we are but who knows, maybe you are right.” 

Light glared at Ryuk as he was cackling. 

‘ That was a close one wasn’t it Light, to think that this whole operation would have been blown off by a little girl. If anything, you aren’t being haunted by a spirit, more like you accepted the spirit.’ 

“ Hey, Light, how do you deal with it?” 

“ Deal with that?” 

“ School and stuff, you seem to work hard to keep up your grades and I dunno, it seems stressful. You must either have a good coping method for it or you really like studying.” 

“ Well, I have other hobbies that help me relax, but I rarely get stressed. Why do you ask?” 

“ I dunno, don’t want to see you bottle everything up and then explode on us.” 

“ You’re really kind, you know that?” 

At the sound of this compliment, [Y/N] turned into a darker shade as she looked away. She was never good with compliments but nonetheless, while she was embarrassed, she accepted them. 

“ What do. . .you mean. . .” 

“ Although you have difficulty expressing it [Y/N], you seem to be emotionally connected with people. I guess it’s rare to see someone so kind, just like you said, it’s hard to find people who have something worth saying you know?” 

“ Most people are assholes, excuse my language, but they are like a test. If you can notice flaws in others, you can avoid having those with yourself. If you see someone insulting others, then you’ll try to perfect yourself to not be like them, you’ll try not to insult others but people like them are fair game. It’s just something strange I thought of but, while it would be nice to not have them in society, it’s hard to picture one without since we are so used to it. I guess we kinda need people like them in life for us to be better, I honestly have no clue I’m just a teenage girl after all.” 

“ You have an interesting take on your views, did Kira impact it?” 

“ Actually, yes. Both Kira and L, the whole battle really. One is fighting for a better society and it gets you thinking if Kira is a bad guy or not, then you have L who strives for order in society but is trying to rid of us the one thing that keeps us safe. I see both really, fear conditions you to not act out since you fear punishment, but laws do the same, if anything its similar, just that this lesson, laws start to morph into morals that society just follows. Both shape society, one is faster and the other takes years to perfect. Anyway’s sorry for geeking out on you, thanks again for walking me home Light. Give your family my greetings, hope to see you soon.” 

[Y/N] thanked Light one last time with a small bow before proceeding to enter her home. Light only looked at her before waving off and leaving with Ryuk following Light. 

‘ Isn’t she perceptive? Well, if anything at least she seems to be a supporter of Kira.’ 

“ No, she isn’t, not yet at least. She is stuck in the middle and I want to ensure that she chooses right.” 

‘ Since when do you care over who is in line with who?’ 

“ Well, after all, if I want to make this world a better place I need to know who is worthy and who isn’t. [Y/N] is no exception. She is kind and I think her mindset is compassionate and understanding, but I don’t think that she has enough to convert herself to a Kira worshiper her. Everyone labels either Kira as a savior or as a murderer and I think that we need to clear his name up a bit.” 

‘ Oh? Is she really this important?’ 

“ She seems to understand Kira’s ideology as much as I do, even though I am him. She is more than fitting in my new world.” 

‘ Sounds like you’re in love with a teenager who is a couple of years younger than you.’ 

“ If anything, you should stop talking to me in public, others can’t see you but when I talk to you others notice and it’s weird.” 

‘ Love. . . ‘ Light pondered on that thought, sure there were plenty of girls who had a crush on him and more, he didn’t think much of it but it was strange. Was he in love? All those other girls who confessed to him seemed to think otherwise, they never cared much for their studies much less cared enough for anything aside from appearance. Yet here [Y/N] was, a diamond in the rough, someone who would think, had views that he was interested in hearing. She could be someone interesting to converse with even if he wasn’t under the influence of the notebook. [Y/N] wasn’t like most people in society who went on with their day to day life and believed anything, [Y/N] thought outside the box and tried to understand everyone and everything, she would benefit this new world more, but more importantly, she would benefit Light more. 

~~ 

[Y/N] put her groceries away at a fast pace,  skipping past the post-it note that read, ‘ Back at 6 ‘. She ran to her room and grabbed her journal and logged into the internet and began to log into the site that was used for supporting Kira. 

‘ Kira, one of my bullies was being mean to me, robbed me of my money and went to target others, even threatening to hurt my little brother. Kira please, give justice and rid us of scum like him. His name is XXX and this is his picture.’ 

“ Needs a name and face and doesn’t have to be in direct contact.” 

‘ The police are trying to destroy our peaceful society, we must get rid of them for Kira, they need to understand that Kira is doing what they could never!’ 

“ Light’s dad is working the Kira case, how far is he into it? It’s probably nothing but. . . there could be something supernatural happening. There is no weapon out there that is used liked that, and that thing with Light and the dog? Should be nothing . .” 

[Y/N] wrote in her journal, thinking much about the conflict. If anything, she was more in favor of L, he was a world star detective and she loved crime-solving so of course, she studied up on what was known about him. L was right in most aspects, there are some jobs where being a bad apple doesn’t cut it and even in a job setting, you can’t give someone who is ‘bad’ power that they can abuse. Essentially, the power that Kira has is what is making him think he is some god and that is dangerous, Kira will stop at nothing to get what he wants if that is his ideology and that includes hurting others, even those he swore to protect. L wants to establish order and although he is a bit reckless, he craves for a society that understands right from wrong in a more law centered area, since morals are the individual’s thoughts and ideas. 

[Y/N] knew that while those who acted unfavorably deserved worse, death is too sweet for them, but also logically we need them to prove a point to others. [Y/N] sighed when she finished her notes, she suspected a lot but she needed to go over more to hear what she could about the case to reach a conclusion on who she thinks is Kira. 

It was like any other day, one that was peaceful as much as you would in a world with Kira and L battling it out, Sayu invited [Y/N] to their house for dinner and for help on their homework. Sadly her father wouldn’t be joining them due to work so [Y/N] decided to snoop around to see what she could find. They were in Light’s room getting help as he repeated what he told Sayu previously regarding the work. Light was busy looking at [Y/N] as she looked at her notebook, she finished her homework ages ago but for the sake of it, she pretended as if she was struggling too. Light was growing concerned more and more, if anything was he feeling love toward [Y/N]? He thought too much on it, if he did love her this would be awkward, he was almost a school graduate and she was barely entering high school, but above all, she was more of a guilty pleasure and she still hasn’t sided with Kira completely. It was infuriating to see someone he cared so much about not understand him all that well, but no matter, he knew what he had to do and his plan was already in motion. He just needed to show her how nice Kira was. 

‘ He is staring at me. . . what does he want? I shouldn’t think too much on it but. . . there is something strange about Light. His expressions, they seem so. . . so fake. I wonder what he is hiding.’ 

Dinner was soon called and [Y/N] stayed behind a little longer to clean up her things, Light trusting that no one would find the compartment to the notebook, but still couldn’t be too safe, could you? Light stayed close as [Y/N]  placed her pencils in her pouch, the moment he turned his back, [Y/N] started to look around the room. 

‘ For a model student he sure is basic, but whatever, I’m trying to find information on Kira and the case. . .what is this?’ 

At that moment, she noticed a pen, that seemed to be broken apart but not in any bad shape, as it was purposely broken apart. Was Light some kis genius who had a weird fixation with breaking things? Maybe. [Y/N] was looking around and around, but there was nothing strange. It wasn’t until she stepped on the controller and there was the channel that covered a lot regarding Kira and the criminals, almost as if they were handing them to Kira themselves. Nothing uncommon, it was a popular show after all, but the off-putting thing about the whole thing was how everything fit regarding his persona. Light’s expression when Kira was mentioned as if he wanted it to be acknowledged. No matter, there was nothing of use at all in this room so she went down to eat with the rest. 

After dinner, for reasons untold, it was earlier than usual so it was nothing too surprising when [Y/N] offered herself to walk home, leaving the Yagami household to settle earlier than usual. As she was walking there was a sound, a large sound alerted her to turn around as she was met with a face, this person had bloodshot eyes and wore all black, but above anything, they were carrying a bloodied knife. [Y/N] fumbled a bit as she tried to run away and the figure started to chase her down. 

‘ W-why now? W-who is he?’ 

[Y/N] panicked as she ended up getting tackled by the figure, she panicked as she struggled until he lifted the knife to her neck as she let out a small breath. Fearing that even the slightest breath could get her cut. The figure was breathing rapidly, hyperventilating even. 

‘ I-is he on drugs?’ 

Soon, the figure stopped breathing altogether and slummed forward, the knife that he had fallen next to him. His whole body was slumped forward and pressed up against [Y/N]. Her breath escalated, turning to the figure and letting out a large screech and throwing him over. 

“ [Y/N]? Hey, what happened?!” 

[Y/N] scrambled away from the body as she looked up to see the person who called her name. Her eyes widened in fear as she met those wth concern of Light. 

‘Light. . . Light, Light Yagami. .’ 

“ [Y/N] who is he? Are you alright?” 

Nodding, [Y/N] shakingly pointed to the man, Light’s eyes tracing back and touching the man, his felt no pulse. His eyes darted to the knife as she looked over at [Y/N] with concern all over his face. 

“ Did he do anything to you [Y/N]?” 

“ N-no, I think he passed out beforehand. S-should we call the cops?” 

“ Yeah, I’m already on it.” 

Light called the cops and explained the situation as [Y/N] glared at Light. Light was the first one to arrive at the scene and he was somewhat calm about. Light has been acting suspiciously this entire time, it’s safe to consider Light a possible suspect. What scared [Y/N] more, was that she could see his face lifting, more as if he was smiling. Case closed, Light had something to do with this, Light had to be Kira.

~~ 

[Y/N] was in her home taking a bath. The cops came to the scene and took care of everything, to her suspicion, his death was a heart attack. The police assumed that it was Kira once again as this man had no previous health history that put him in any risk for one. 

“ I’m sorry you had to experience something frightful, I am only thankful that my son was there to help you Miss [L/N].” 

“ Don’t worry about it. . thank you for your work sir.” 

“ Of course, Light, see to it that she gets home safely.” 

Light nodded and walked her home. It was nothing that far, but they had small talk along the way. 

“ Hey Light, do you really think it was Kira?” 

“ Possibly, the man had a heart attack as the rest and he was apparently a wanted criminal so if anything that is enough to consider it. If Kira did, how do you feel?”

“ Well, I guess I owe Kira my life, after all, he did save me. Then again, it’s my own experience so I guess that isn’t enough evidence, but I think that Kira is someone who won’t stray off his path and will continue to be justice!” 

Light let out a chuckle and turned to the side. He was smiling proudly, he won over [Y/N], he did it. She understood Kira’s ideology and believed in him. She would make a perfect companion in this world he seeks to create. Once they reached her house, [Y/N] thanked him and went inside her home with Light bidding her a good night. 

Recalling the end of the eventful night, [Y/N] got out to the bath and changed. She clicked on the T.V and a program started as she wrote in her journal. 

‘ Light was there almost immediately after, it wasn’t that far from where I was, his house was close by so they should have heard something.’ 

‘ Light kept asking me about Kira, and when I told him I was a Kira supporter he seemed happy.’ 

‘ Kira killed my assailant.’ 

“ This just in, we have reports of a criminal that was announced on T.V at 7 was killed today around 8:48 PM! Does this mean that Kira struck again?” 

“ Of course he did! Kira knows that his loyal followers would present him with scum that the world has! He killed [ Criminal Name ] to show us that he hears us, we must show him more devotion!” 

‘ [Criminal Name], that’s who attacked me. . . that’s the channel that was in Lightroom. . .the ability to kill someone with a name and face would be something supernatural, the dog looking next to Light and moving his eyes, Light and his fake smiles, the fact that Kira was changing patterns when it was revealed by the cops this, Light’s dad is a cop. . .Light is Kira. . .’ 

[Y/N] eyes widened as she tried hard to compose her argument that she would present to the task force, to L himself.

“ Light, you fucking bastard. I caught you.” 

The next day, [Y/N] dressed up and went to the police station. She talked to those in front, “ Please you have to let me see L or the chief, I have information that can help with the case.” 

“ Sorry, but they are busy. You can leave a message and we can deliver it.” 

“ No I can’t risk the information I have, when are they not busy?” 

“ It’s the Kira case, now run along.” 

“ [Y/N]? What are you doing here?” 

“ Light. . . oh nothing. Just trying to get more information on what happened yesterday.” 

“ Don’t worry, what happened yesterday won’t happen again. If you want to know I can ask my father, but don’t worry about it.” 

[Y/N] nodded before returning home and leaving Light alone to attend his business. It was a shock, Light was there and so was [Y/N], she didn’t realize how hard it would be to tell them that Light is Kira. She also let it slip her mind that Light was the Cheifs son, it would be devastating to hear that your son is a wanted criminal. She was chilling in her room until someone ran her doorbell. She went downstairs and was met with an old man as she smiled and asked for [Y/N]. 

“ Is this [Y/N]?” 

“ Yes?” 

“ I see, well please come with me. You have some information present regarding the Kira case? L is interested in what you have to say. With that, [Y/N] smiled before nodding and going inside the car. She was blindfolded during the car ride but that was to be expected. She was also blindfolded when she was taken to see L, but it was taken off when they were in the room. She was met with a man with messy black hair, white long-sleeved shirt, blue jeans, and dark eye bags. 

“ You must be miss [Y/N] [L/N] right?” 

“ Yes, you must be L, right? Sorry to bother you but I think I know who Kira is. It’s just a guess right now but I think it’s him, no, some part of me knows it’s him!” 

“ And who would that be?” 

“ Light Yagami.” 

“ I see, so you suspect him too.” 

“ You do as well?” 

“ Yes I do, in fact, I know it is him. I wonder what makes you think that?” 

“ Well, I believe that the way he kills isn’t from this world, it can’t be. It has to be something else, while I don’t know what it is, it leaves some trace. I and Light were walking and I know it sounds silly but there was this dog and he kept staring at something that wasn’t there, even Light saw it but I couldn’t! It was strange, he didn’t tell me he saw it, but his eyes were matching those of the dog. Besides, he was watching T.V once and for some reason it was on that channel that broadcasts those criminals and for some reason, [Criminal Names] ended up attacking me the same day! Light’s dad is a cop, so it would make sense for him to access information and such, besides, Light hides behind his appearance. When I was attacked and he called the cops, I swore I saw him smile!” 

“ Calm down, I think this is interesting. Your reasoning is good and you’re very observant, but you see I have a similar issue. It’s Light, Light is Kira, but I can’t find any evidence that proves it’s him, therefore I propose something. Do you want to work for me?” 

“ I-!?” 

“ Ryuzaki, are you sure?” 

“ Yes, I am Watari, besides, she is close to Light, if anything she can be the key to get more evidence against him.” 

“ I accept!” 

“ Why don’t you consider this more carefully Miss, Ryuzaki can manage just fine if you say no.” 

“ No, I accept! I’ve always had my views towards Kira, sure he gets rid of the criminals, but someone with that power, I fear who they might hurt to continue this path. Besides, Light has been lying this whole time, he needs to be put away.” 

L looked at the female with amusement in his eyes, he was intrigued with her. It seemed that she was determined, something he admired a lot. He nodded and told her of his plan, she would try what she could to gain information from Light and try to get evidence for the task force. [Y/N] was happy to meet L, if anything she was happy that for once she was seen as her age, she was given a responsibility and she would not fail. Since then, she had been reporting to Light, even when L made himself public to Light as well. [Y/N] had been operating in the shadows, she had been visiting Sayu recently, having talks with Light and doing homework with Sayu, luckily everything was fine. [Y/N] met Misa, who was a little too upset with the whole Light kinda paying more attention to her and Sayu, but he was just trying to be a good older brother. All the commotion happened, as [Y/N] did nothing but report. She didn’t buy the whole girlfriend act so she looked more into it. 

“ So you think Misa knows?” 

“ Yes, Light’s expressions mask annoyance and hatred so I highly doubt he likes her, she either knows and he is keeping her alive for that, or she is being used/went willingly with him. It’s a little toxic, to be honest.” 

“ Now we aren’t one to comment on Light’s relationship status [Y/N], but still, this is intriguing. We both came to the conclusion that there was a second Kira, my suspicion of her has risen. Thank you for this information [Y/N].” 

“ Of course anything to help out!” 

[Y/N] thanked L before heading out. She was thankful for this job and opportunity. Although she didn’t find much, she assisted a lot in the investigation, and it was even worse when L and Watari were killed. 

~~ 

Tears streamed down [Y/N] face as she was informed of his passing by someone else, finding out that Light was the one to take his place. If anything, she was repulsed. Disgusted, the same murderer that killed L and others, posing as the lead detective? There were so many wrongs with that, she had to do something. Miraculously, someone with the name N reached out to her regarding the situation, 5 years later. Light ended up moving in with Misa, but he was always around constantly messaging [Y/N] about his sister and about her. It was no surprise that she was informed of many things, she was introduced to the task force later while L was still alive, talking about how she was someone who went undercover. He would ask her constantly about her thoughts and she would have to answer how she would normally take into consideration that she is communicating with the devil himself. [Y/N] was now a 20-year-old female, working secretly with N, or near regarding everything. Taking into consideration the information that L had and what [Y/N] had to say. They did well to keep [Y/N] a secret from Light though, she was a secret that remained deep within the task force, Light would, no should never know that she was involved. She would speak about what she knew, the death note and possible fake rule, etc. 

[Y/N] got a message from Light, asking her out for a coffee to speak about somethings. She normally would brush it off, had it not been for Near saying she should go and see what he wants. She hesitantly agreed, choosing to go. The conversation was one that was a bit bland, for someone keeping contact with the other for so long. 

“ How have you been [Y/N]?” 

“ Good and you?” 

“ I’ve been preoccupied and with Misa, it’s hard to keep track.” 

“ That must be a bummer, but hey wouldn’t she be mad? I mean you’re hanging out with a girl now, not your little sister’s friend.” 

“ It’s not like we are something after all.” 

Light forced himself to say those things. It is true that they haven’t been in contact for so long, but she had been there every step of the way. She had supported him in so much, she wasn’t as smart as him, but she also wasn’t like Misa who was acting than thinking. [Y/N] opened her mind for anything and everything, she was someone who understood a dream and passion and helps both the pros and cons to it, both sides, understanding o anything, someone that was suitable, a role model even in his new world that he was constructing. Light was always interested in her, he just couldn’t say anything. Misa came into the picture and he had to obey and act as the perfect boyfriend. He thought he almost lost his grasp on you had it not been for the fact that you still stayed close to him, almost as if you wanted him too, right?

“ Yeah, we aren’t anything. You aren’t that kind of person for sure, but any leads in the Kira case? I mean, you told me that you were made chief on the investigation, along with L so I am interested in learning what it is you know about Kira, sure I understand that you have to capture him but, I’m sure he had a reason.” 

“ You mean a reason to kill L right?” 

The silence was in the cafe, [Y/N] panicked, no she didn’t slip up, god that wire that Near had planted in her better be picking this up because this wasn’t part of the plan. 

“ I thought L was alive, Light you better not be joking-?!” 

“ Now why would I joke about his death, besides N is there to confirm it, isn’t he.” 

“ When?”

“ Since you visited the task force. Believe it or not, I tend to keep great tabs on those that matter, I need, or I want.” 

“ I see, you knew the whole time. Including what L meant to me and you still had the fucking audacity, why haven’t you killed me yet? Surely I must have been a mole in the plan, some bug worth squashing right?” 

“ Because I want you [Y/N]. You matter a lot more than you think to me, in this new world that I am planning on creating, I want you to be the first person welcomed in there, ruling next to me.” 

“ What? I thought Misa, who was the second owner would do that.” 

“ I needed her eyes, you must have known from all your notes. 5 years ago you suspected me, and now you know. Yes, I did kill L, the Death note is in my possession, I am lying to the police, I am Kira, I am the God of this new world, and you shall be next to me to judge all these souls.” 

“ Why me?” 

“ Simply put, back then you were struggling to pick a side, I thought I won you over but then I realized, you are better than me at putting up appearances. I see why L trusted you a lot more than us, but one thing I learned is that the mind can be persuaded a lot. I understood a lot more than you realized, you are understanding, compassionate if anything you see both sides of the same coin and I admire that about you. You have a voice in the matter, unlike these brainless fools, you see my true vision, you see me for me. You see past Kira’s actions and more of his motives!” 

“ All I see is a fucking murderer, but go off I guess.” 

A small chuckle was released by Light as he turned to face you and whispered in [Y/N]’s ear, ‘ The wire you were wearing is of no use anymore, anything I said wasn’t even recorded. Isn’t that lovely, you’re mine and believe me, I will cleanse your mind from his poison.” 

“ What about Misa? What about everyone. They will find me.” 

“ They will find the notebook that I made, one that has your name in it and they will think that you died. No one will find someone they think is dead.” 

“ Kira, you’re nothing but a killer.” 

“ No, this was a sacrifice I had to make, and believe it, it was worth it for this, for you. This is the fruit of my labor, of our labor.” 

“ I had nothing to do in this ploy-!?” 

“ Oh, but you did! DON’T YOU SEE. YOU WERE ON MY MIND THE ENTIRE TIME I KILLED THEM. I DID THIS FOR YOU, FOR US, FOR THE FUTURE.” 

Light composed himself before returning back to his usual self. 

“ This was a sacrifice we had to make if I told Misa to kill herself, she would. That would be too obvious though, so I’ll keep her around and you hidden. Just like L kept you hidden, history is repeating itself but only for a moment, we are looking at a new era [Y/N] one that I know you’ll understand, one that you will come to understand again. If you think about it, I’m cleansing your mind once again. You’ll experience what it is to taste 

.

.

.

The Forbidden Fruit~

[unohanadaydreams]

Okay I’m mentally prepared to ramble about the Hell Arc. No panels, just words.

The first blurb is definitely Ukitake speaking and I’d like to think it’s hiding some bitterness and regret, since he’s in hell, but you know I’m not gonna hold on to hope that it’s anything deep.

Orihime being resigned to laundry as well as just NOT knowing where her son is??? I’m sorry the same Orihime that can sense Ichigo like it’s her fucking job? But y’know uwu it’s okay to be a housewife and this is definitely Kubo showing off his depth of feminist theory and not shoving Orihime in the background bc wife clean and cook and nothing else ooga booga.

Kon as a babysitter is horrifying. The implication that they’ve kept him as a teddy bear for all these years is even more so. Like damn you can’t ask Urahara for ONE gigai after you saved the world, Ichigo? Hope youre paying him a living wage for helping you navigate the terrible twos. Tbh I think it would’ve been better to have a new sidekick and for Kon to be working for Urahara now.

Okay I do think the kid sending souls to Hell on accident is pretty funny. But also it’s definitely Kubo forgetting that Orihime is in the picture and Kazui is not Ichigo. He has more than Isshin; he has Orihime as his mom. He has someone who cares very much that he’s still in his bed and is someone he would talk to about uuuuh sending ppl through a portal. I know women are a different species and are incredibly hard to grasp because of that so it’s okay Kubo.

Ichika being taught by Ikkaku and to a lesser extent Yumichika is very good. Love that enough to gloss over my disappointment at Rukia not teaching her. I just know Byakuya is probably a lil bitter about it too. Rukongai rats 1 Noble clan 0

Booooo Kubo, get off the stage. Pointing out Orihime is at home doing laundry does not fix that she’s there. If she’s not gonna stop Kazui from doing whatever the fuck she might as well be eating bad ramen too.

MAYURI MY BELOVED. You’re so right, king, Urahara is a tasteless capitalist unlike you, who fully commits to the too-organic technological horrors the Seireitei deserves.

Did Kubo forget how to draw Rangiku? Why the fuck is her face so moe. Some of the women look pretty off in the face over all but with Rangiku it’s jarring. I know her face got more moe somewhere in tybw arc but jfc it’s worse here.

I find it hard to believe that Shunsui would stick to a tradition that demands all lieutenants be away and in the human world all at once but maybe he just doesn’t give a shit about anything nowadays. Depression is leading the Gotei 13 now.

It’s not a Bleach surprise attack unless a woman is grievously injured right off the bat.

That being said, I do enjoy the two new lieutenants. The hakama shorts are a Choice but they work somehow. Also a zanpakuto being on nails is fun.

Kira and Akon ❤️ I’m glad Kubo retconned the novels so Kira could make his entrance in a hoodie and black tabi. Hope he gets more depressing and bitter moments tho. Also Akon having so much panel space…..I’ll never recover.

Hell Szayel is so fucking horny which is astounding considering like everything he did was a sex joke in Hueco Mundo arc. His sex appeal has aged like fine wine. Also pure comedy that Ichigo can only ask who he is. If only Uryu were there 😔

So did they have ceremonies for Gin and Kaname because if not then???? Like I understand it’s impossible to make this gel 100% bc its not based on anything other than wanting characters to come back as cool demons and is actively working against previous canon but c’mon. They would’ve noticed before this when no ceremony for Gin and Kaname was held and their reishi haunted everyone via molasses rain drops.

That being said, I love love love the concept of characters coming up from Hell with not holes within them but outside them. They do not need to consume others to feel completion, they are consumed to the point of wanting to fill others. Don’t you recognize me? Don’t you see what you’ve done? Don’t you long to fill that hole inside of you, too? All it takes is dying to reach that nirvana of knowing who you are and what you feel in swirling completion. Even fallen, the fruit of knowledge is divine.

I want Ukitake to say he’s glad Shunsui lived to his face while looking so heartbroken that he didn’t get to live too. I want these two to cry across from one another with a flashback to their idyllic youth. I want it *grabby hands*

Sosuke Aizen has disappeared as in dead? Or are they counting ‘out of Seireitei’ as disappeared. Honestly 50/50 whether he’ll have a form of cameo. On one hand he’s incredibly popular, on the other hand Kubo was floundering with him during tybw so I can’t imagine he gives a shit to bring him back.

As far as new lore for hell butterflies goes, I guess we’ll see how interesting it gets but I highly doubt it’s going to get a lot of thought.

With the way Kazui is smiling, it makes me wonder if someone taught him about the shrine and sending souls to hell. Does he recognize the door? Is Kubo implying that Ukitake has had contact with Kazui? I mean, it would make a LOT of sense considering the fish he was riding, the ritual he knows. It would also make sense why the soul reaper badge was highlighted; Ukitake has been around in some capacity before officially being stomped to hell???

Definitely me thinking too much about it but also there’s no way Kazui just knows this shit without someone from Hell telling him about it even covertly.

This entire arc set up definitely seems like it’ll bring some worthwhile angst and maybe some moments for the more unexplored characters if characters like Akon getting screen time is any education.

Overall not hoping for anything other than good Hell designs and seeing characters do things.

If I don’t see Kenpachi with his beefy titties out I will be disappointed. That’s my bare minimum.

[eyecicles]

@longagoitwastuesday​ said:

May I ask you to elaborate on the Ukita-death scene and how you read it and L's reaction? And how it might be read to be related to this topic? And why you think it can be potentially so important in the approach of interpreting L? I was thinking about it again a few days ago, and while telling, I didn't think it would be necessarily key, though I think I see why it could be so.

I mainly mentioned this because I’ve seen people use it as a reference to diagnose L with all kinds of disorders, haha. This isn’t necessarily about autism vs ADHD

Personally, I’ve always read this scene as L being scared because a) he underestimated Kira’s powers and b) he just saw someone he knew die in front of his eyes. It comes as a surprise to both the task force and the readers, since L has to this point shown almost no trace of fear or uncertainty.

But comparing his reaction to those of the other task force members, he stands out yet again. He hides his face and eyes, clutches his legs and it looks like he desperately tries to calm himself down, to stay in control. His mannerisms are yet again not that typical for an adult man.

And you can read all sorts of things into that, including that the situation triggered a trauma memory. If you think Aizawa shouting and grabbing him caused him to tremble, you’ll have even more to think about and interpret into. I’m quite certain L’s reaction has nothing to do with Aizawa, but I can see why others would view it differently.

But yeah, it is or at least was a popular scene to discuss to understand L better mostly because we haven’t seen him like that before.

I personally don’t think it’s that important of a scene. For me it’s mostly a reminder that L is a human being - just a rather isolated, controlled one.

[iboatedhere]

2021 Fic Year In Review

tagged by @carlosreyess thank you!

Total Number Of Completed Works: 37

Total Word Count: 301,177 (so far....there's another 15k or so of Wings Are Frayed that will be posted before the new year and another 3k-4k word fic I'm hoping to finish today or tomorrow)

Fandoms I’ve Written In:  911 Lone Star.

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? More. Way more. I never imagined Wings Are Frayed would end up being as long as it it. I thought it would end around 70k and I nearly doubled that.

What’s Your Own Favorite Story Of The Year? I loved So Many Somethings. I always wanted to write a You've Got Mail AU and I finally got to do it.

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year? I feel like anytime you join a new fandom and start creating fics it's a huge risk. I was so scared to post that first fic because I didn't know anyone in this fandom so I didn't have anyone to hype me up. I just released it into the wild and hoped for the best.

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year?  I want to make sure that the WIPs I'm working on now aren't thrown to the side when the new season starts.

Most Popular Story Of The Year? Me And You Back At Mama's has the most kudos, Wings Are Frayed has the most hits.

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion: Prima Facie. A cute AU that underperformed, imo.

Most Fun Story To Write: So Many Somethings. Mainly because it was the fic that really kick started my friendship with @pragmaticoptimist34 and helped turn it into what it is now.

Most Unintentionally Telling Story:  not 100% sure what this question is asking but Soapy Dishwater Drips might have brought out some domestic longing in me that I knew was there but didn't really want anyone to see.

Biggest Disappointment: Okay. So when I say I threw the biggest pity party for myself when I posted chapter six (I think) of Wings Are Frayed and I didn't get a comment on it for almost the whole day, you have to believe me. I straight up cried to Sonia who had to talk me down. I'm okay now, though.

Biggest Surprise: That people actually seem to like me, lol. I am very introverted and quiet in real life and have a hard time making friends and I feel like a lot of people have just...adopted me into friendship. I'm very thankful for that. (for the first time this week I'm crying happy tears at my desk instead of sad/frustrated ones)

My Favorite Part Of Fandom This Year:  I love everyone in this firehouse, tbh. I've made some really, really good friends, a few I talk to every day and I've loved how we've all made it through the hiatus and how we're all freaking out over the new promos and photos and information that we're getting leading up to the premier.

I'm going to tag @marjansmarwani @reyesstrand @howtosingit @bellakitse @kiras-sunshine @detective-giggles

[kiranatrix]

I feel like the nature of Light’s ideology and his methods get caricatured a great deal in the fandom (especially by those who only viewed the anime). I keep seeing popular memes about Light killing petty shoplifters who are only attempting to feed their family and I always get the sense that they’re largely inaccurate (for the most part). Light notices in the Yotsuba arc that Kira’s sentencing spares those: who’ve served their sentences and improved their ways, who committed justifiable crimes, and who have shown remorse. So it feels off to seeing portrayed that way, especially when Light’s elimination of innocents (such as the FBI agents, Naomi, etc...) are usually for strategic purposes, intended to help him progress ahead. Not to mention this pervasive belief that Light apparently didn’t know that he would be bound to sentence some innocents to death (with his large kill count per day). Wouldn’t it be more likely that Light knew that it was inevitable and was willing to sacrifice those lives for “the greater good,” in his view?

This is a doozy of an ask, anon. But it is GLORY bc these are all excellent things for me to ramble about Light (thank you!). I’ll take them point by point, strap in cause this is a bit long. *cracks knuckles*

You’re absolutely right that fandom often boils Light’s character and ideology down to a few basic elements that are distorted, mostly to drag him. Let’s be honest-- it’s fun to drag characters, even our favs-- and pretty much everyone in Death Note deserves it. But it does become annoying when its inaccurate, like with your example about who Kira focused on killing and some others I see. To be clear, this isn’t any kind of apology for the bastardly things Light DID do, but clarifying what he was and wasn’t about.

Did Light kill petty criminals?

The only time it is mentioned that Light kills criminals for non-serious crimes is when he was under surveillance by L (the infamous potato chip scene) and had to kill someone on the news right then, as well as the immediate coverup. In that circumstance, he couldn’t afford to be picky-- he needed L to see a signature Kira death (heart attack) when Light supposedly couldn’t be doing it. The crimes that appeared on the news that night (in his chip bag TV lol) ended up being non-serious criminals, and Light wasn’t so thrilled about this. 

Mainly because it meant he had to cover his tracks and kill a few more minor criminals so it really did look like Kira’s work. 

But his focus was putting himself in the clear with L; those minor criminals were incidental, and when he had choice/freedom again, he did not focus on them. The ruse didn’t completely work because L thought minor criminals dying was suspicious since it deviated from Kira’s usual MO. So, L knew the real focus.

This was a strategic move in service of, versus reflecting, Light’s ideology. This is something we see pop up again and again for Light. He is willing to do ‘wrong’ for the greater ‘good.’ We also see his distaste for killing petty criminals later when Light rebukes Mikami’s off-script killings in his thoughts. If Kira had been acting this way all along, then the Task Force wouldn’t have been surprised and Light wouldn’t have been pissed off that Mikami was doing it. 

Kira was looking for violent criminals who had escaped justice, that’s his main goal. He’s also disagreeing with Mikami’s methods of punishing wrong-doers who paid their debt to society (as opposed to the Death Row criminals I discuss below who haven’t ‘paid their debt’ yet). He doesn’t want people to fear Kira and thinks shooting fish in a barrel, so to speak, would do that. His ideology is not punitive; to him, its about prevention. Petty crime wasn’t on his radar until he had to make that a temporary focus for his safety.

Did Light focus on criminals already in prison? 

I’ve seen plenty of posts in the Death Note tag grousing about how Light was ‘dumb’ because he only focused on criminals in prison, but that’s not wholly accurate. The first two names he wrote were criminals he witnessed in the process of a crime with actual victims that needed help (a hostage scenario where the perp had already murdered people, and a man about to rape). Then he went for the Big Bads in the news- the most vicious criminals world-wide.

Other than criminals at large, he DID kill some criminals in prison. The times he did so were:

1) Killing criminals on Death Row who, in the eyes of law enforcement, “deserved the death penalty several times over.” These are criminals who had already been sentenced to die and Kira enacted the ‘justice.’

2) During Light’s ‘testing phase’ of the Death Note when he was trying to understand the rules in a population he could control 

3) When he was trying to be conspicuous about deaths for L’s benefit, like throwing off the assumption that Kira was a student. Light knew that those deaths would be found immediately and attributed to Kira. 

For 2 and 3, these criminals were likely to be on Death Row given what was said by INTERPOL about who Kira was killing behind bars. Ironically, even L thought Death Row criminals needed to die-- he chose Lind L Tailor from Death Row for his stunt, and said on TV he’d seek the death penalty for Kira. Hmm.

Why did Light kill innocent people?

The innocent people that Light killed include Raye Penber, the rest of the FBI agents in Japan investigating Kira, and Naomi Misora. L and Watari might be considered innocent per Kira’s ideology (Watari had probably murdered people but L had probably not, directly). Rem technically killed L and Watari, but Light certainly wanted them to die and orchestrated it that way. The innocent people that Light WOULD have killed include the Task Force (Mogi, Aizawa, Matsuda, Ide) and the SPK (Halle, Gevanni, Rester, Near,) if he’d won in the warehouse.

The main thread tying all these people together? They were all imminent threats to Light and were actively trying to stop and/or kill him. Killing them would never have crossed his mind if that hadn’t been the case. THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE DIDN’T ENJOY IT. Taking out his enemies was something Light did savor, he really loved that win. But it wasn’t like he wiped out the entire FBI or Japanese police force. Those were not his targets; these were individuals who threatened his goal and life, and he saw their killing as self-defense. 

Did Light kill any criminals who were innocent or wrongly convicted?

It’s certainly possible that he did but the manga never touches on it. Given that his MO for killing incarcerated criminals was limited to Death Row, he probably felt like those were safe bets (we know that’s not always the case in the real world, of course). But let’s say that Light, in canon, found out he’d killed someone wrongfully convicted. In the beginning of his journey as Kira (at 17-18), I honestly don’t think he’d given this a lot of thought. What’s funny is that Light was naively, and paradoxically, putting a lot of faith in the human justice system while simultaneously enacting his own justice that relied on having zero faith in the traditional channels. Makes my head spin, but Light is a fascinating character because of that kind of thinking. He championed sweeping ideals of right and wrong, but couldn’t be bothered with getting in the murky details. 

But by the time he’d grown up and matured some, especially after becoming part of the police force himself, he would have know it was a possibility. At that point, I agree that he’d view it as an inevitable sacrifice in service of, but not directly reflecting, his ‘greater good,’ like the previous choices he’d made. 

So why is Kira’s ideology so often distorted? For one thing, his thinking is kind of convoluted. The anime has less nuance about what Light’s about, and many people just watch that. Another common reason I see for this is that someone really, really hates Light for defeating L, and once we dislike someone it becomes easier to roll in more and more unlikeable qualities into a nasty villain pie. Any trait that is ‘bad’ can be overlaid onto Light because he is ‘bad,’ so it fits right?? Ha....no. He has plenty of bad traits and actions of his own to drag him for without inventing new ones. At the same time, I see L’s flaws and negative traits/actions being hand-waved away or justified because he is their fav. It happened with Minoru, too. 

[reyesstrand]

2021 fic wrap up/year in review!

i’ve been tagged in these for the past few days but wanted to wait until i got my last fic of the year up to do this, so here we go!

thanks to @bellakitse @morganaspendragonss and @iboatedhere for tagging me 💗

total number of completed works: 32

total word count: 89,260

fandoms i’ve written in: just 911ls this year!

looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? honestly, a mix between about what i expected and less. i got quite a bit done while lone star was airing at the beginning of the year—it’s only when we got into the hiatus and i started school that i realized how much i had to balance, and fic writing unfortunately fell to the wayside. but i’m hoping to get back into it over winter break and with s3 starting soon!

what’s your favourite story of the year? this is really hard, but i think i’d have to go with felt like maybe we could last forever (though all my episode codas have a special place in my heart)

did you take any writing risks this year? nothing too risky, but i tried to expand my horizons by delving into the world of angst and hurt/comfort as opposed to my usual fluff, and i’ve really enjoyed it!

do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? finish prompt requests from this past summer! some might never get done and that upsets me, but there’s a few that i’ve been chipping away at that i’d like to finish. also, i’d like to get back into my weekly episode codas (though i have no doubt it will).

most popular story of the year? by hits: my heart hurts so good (a one-shot collection) and by kudos/bookmarks: wanna be still with you (my 2x08 coda)

story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: umm anything non-tarlos akdns so i’m going to plug those here!! hold on to me (post-2x02 nancy x marjan) / all so incredibly loud (grace x judd angst week prompt) / how we get notorious (tk & marjan angst week prompt) / make me feel alive (2x08-nancy x marjan) / and it’s just like a prayer (tk & judd angst week prompt) and finally chasing after our ends (2x03 carlos & grace missing scene)

most fun story to write: umm any of the episode codas—like take this wildness away, which offers a look at 2x06 if carlos had been in the episode. i also like a lot of the prompt requests i get because they offer me ideas i never would’ve thought of on my own—like safe like springtime, where tk helps deliver carlos’ sister’s baby.

most unintentionally telling story: not necessarily one story, but i think the amount of times “found family” or “tenderness” comes up as a tag in my fics probably tells you something about my ~internal desires~

biggest disappointment: my writer’s block between august and december, as it was just frustrating to deal with and resulted in very little getting done.

biggest surprise: actually finishing various events like carlos week, lone star angst week, and tarlos valentine weekend!! also, being able to keep up with the slightly insane tradition of watching a new episode live and writing a coda that would not leave my head in the hours between 10pm and 1am on monday nights. it might make for some lack of sleep, but the thrill of getting those fics up at a ridiculous hour and then reading everyone else’s codas/spec fic until the following week’s episode was all part of the fun of season two for me, and i look forward to continuing that this season!

my favourite part of fandom this year: just interacting with everyone! getting inbox messages of theories and speculation and screaming was so fun. and of course, i couldn’t not mention my lovely mutuals and the lone star house, it truly made my year so much brighter <3

i’m getting to this late so i apologize for any double tagging, but here are my no-pressure tags: @howtosingit @marjansmarwani @kiras-sunshine @sunshinestrand @rafael-silva @strandnreyes @jamieetartt (and anyone else who wants to do this!)

[recurring-polynya]

soul reapers to get paid and their salaries are even quite high! if i remember correctly, lieutenants make around $7k while a captain’s salary is almost triple(nearly $19k)

(cont) that is if my conversion was right, in a JET interview kubo said captains make 2million yen, lieutenants - 700 000yen and an unseated officer - 200 000yen. but then again, i think the living cost in ss is much higher, i remember matsumoto mentioning that clothes in the living world are much cheaper

I have to say this is one of the liveliest discussions on Bleach meta that I have ever participated in on this website. I feel like I can definitively report that is is both fanon consensus and supported by the creator himself that Soul Reapers do, in fact, get paid. For the record, my husband, who started this, conceded days ago and I am sure has not thought about it since.

In any case-- I was very surprised by these numbers, and at first I thought that maybe they were in kan, the fictional currency used in Soul Society, rather than yen. I mean, $19k/year is a terrible salary (for those of you who are not American it is roughly minimum wage). I attempted to figure out the conversion rate between kan and yen once, and at the time, came to the conclusion that kan were worth somewhat more than yen, but I no longer have my scratch pad, so I cannot show my work. Looking at it again, they seem pretty close.

Then, just to get an idea, I googled the salary of a four-star general in the American military, which I thought should be a rough equivalent, and the article I found reported all its numbers in monthly salaries, which I am not used to seeing, but maybe they are more common in other countries. In any case, according to the article I found, the highest salary you can make in the US military is $15,800/month ($189,600/year), which is pretty close to what a Gotei captain makes. I realize that is a lot of money on an absolute scale, but that actually seemed shockingly low to me, in the sense that there have only ever been 246 four-star generals in the history of the U.S., but this is the sort of salary that, say, a C-suite executive might make. A president of even a public university can make 2-5 times this. Now, a career in the military comes with a lot of other perks-- free room and board, free healthcare, etc, but I think this is going to make a much bigger difference to the people in the lower ranks.

The more I thought about it, I do think this tracks, though. Gotei captains are immeasurably valuable and basically impossible to replace. One of the more chilling moments leading up to the Winter War was the part where Hitsugaya is basically like “we don’t know how many Arrancar Aizen has, but if it’s more than 10, we’re screwed” and then it cuts to Hueco Mundo, and Aizen is just surrounded by guys. So, yeah, it honestly makes perfect sense to me that captains are paid a “good living” but it’s insulting compared to the wealth of the nobles that live around them. I don’t usually have a lot of nice things to say about Byakuya, but I do want to emphasize that this has to be chump change for him. This guy definitely works out of a sense of duty, he is not in it for the Benjamins.

The vice-captain salary (~$84k/yr) comes closest to an O-4, which corresponds to a major or a lieutenant colonel, and usually entails about 10 years of service. I guess years count for less when you’re immortal, so I guess that works out. One thing that doesn’t fit is that in another interview, Kubo states that Renji’s sunglasses cost half a year’s salary, but their price is listed in the Bleach Bootleg as 84,700 kan. If a kan is roughly equal to a yen, this is wildly off. I will get back to this later. In WDKALY, there was some mention of vice-captains and captains being given “mansions” to live in (if they chose to). I absolutely cannot accept this fact as canon. I can’t. I mean, there are numerous omake about Hisagi trying to score free food out of Omaeda, yet this man lives in a mansion? And do not tell me he (or Matsumoto or Iba) would pass up living in a mansion if they had the option, even if the commute were an absolute nightmare. Maybe he can’t afford the cost of utilities and furnishings. I don’t know. Please, someone write me a sitcom of Hisagi and Kira living in giant mansions next door to each other, but it’s just like the Bluths living in the sample house in Arrested Development. [Aside: Renji would take the mansion, but he would turn it into an indoor soccer field and continue to sleep in the barracks search your heart you know it’s true]

Back on topic! The unseated officer salary of 200k yen/mo works out to an E-3, which is what an enlisted service member makes after a year. Everyone in the Gotei is considered an officer, and unseating people are awful, so, once again, this seems fine. Well, it seems shitty, tbh, but consistently shitty.

To really answer the question of “is this shitty?” though, we need to consider buying power. Earlier, I mentioned that Gotei service includes free room and board, and that alone is equivalent to a lifetime of wealth for someone from the lower Rukon. I mentioned earlier that I once tried to calculate the exchange rate between kan and yen using a variety of prices for various items. I wish I had kept better notes, because my main takeaway was that prices for things were not very consistent. A copy of the Seireitei Bulletin is 380 kan. Using a straight kan to yen to dollar conversion, that’s $2.80 (I am using 100 yen = $1 because it’s close enough, in case anyone was wondering). Sexy photo books of the captains cost ~$25. The budget of the Shinigami Women’s Association is $2500/year, and the Men’s is $900/year, which is roughly the cost of one pair of sunglasses. I think it must have been the sunglasses that threw me, because I kept trying to peg the cost of a pair of sunglasses to a half year’s salary. The club budgets are just honestly confusing because I have no idea what a calligraphy club budget should look like. It seemed... fine... that a club budget should be equivalent to half a year’s salary? To be honest, I think a kan should be roughly equal to a yen and the sunglasses are just priced too low. (Not a statement I ever thought I would be making).

The comment about clothes being cheaper in the World of the Living makes a lot of sense! Cloth in Soul Society is probably hand-dyed, rather than mass printed, and sewed by hand, rather than by machine. On the other hand, if you wanted goods made in traditional ways, it would be a lot cheaper to get in Soul Society. A chusen-dyed kimono is a luxury good in 2021, because you have to option to order a cheap t-shirt and sweatpants from Amazon. Everyone wears hand-made kimono in Soul Society because that’s what there is, so the price is going to be relatively lower. I do think that cost-of-living jumps sharply inside the walls of the Seireitei, and that it’s very common to do your shopping in the upper districts of Rukongai, where there are lot of highly skilled artisans making goods for the city-dwelling market. I figure that one of the few opportunities for upward mobility, aside from selling your soul to the military is to make enough money to buy your way inside the gates (either through overpriced business licenses, getting a noble patron, or by arranging a marriage to someone who already lives inside)

That being said, I have thought a lot about importing items from the WotL--shinigami usually travel through senkaimon, which do not allow for matter conversion, so they wouldn’t normally be able to bring anything with them. I imagine that it’s sort of a perk of the job that when you go on a mission where you have to go through a matter converter (which would include any time you are bringing a gigai over) you could smuggle back whatever you can fit in your kosode. It’s very strange which technology is adapted from the World of the Living (washing machines, treadmills, urinals) and what isn’t (coffee). In fanfic, it’s common to see shinigami wearing Living World clothing in their off-hours, but I don’t think that’s supported by canon or filler in any way. For my own fanfiction, because it’s fun and world-buildy, I like to pretend that Ichigo is a very popular figure after the Winter War and that World of the Living fashion, music, etc becomes popular, starting during the two-year timeskip, particularly among the younger denizens of the Seireitei, and that there are special bars and such that specialize in that kind of thing. Shinigami who have done extensive stints in the Living World are considered cool for their knowledge of such esoteric subjects as “rice cookers.”

I am done now! I swear! Thank you, everyone for reading all the way down to the bottom of possibly the nerdiest and most boring post I have ever made on this website! (wait, no, I just remembered the one on senkaimon transfer protocols. Second most boring.)