#but just think of what that means for the after-party

[cherrygirlfriend]

pairing: frat!rafe x tutor!reader synopsis: reader attends a frat party where the theme is to dress up as your type warnings: fluff! wc: 1.3k i got this idea from the wonderful @rafeyscurtainbangs and it had me dead because it's so funny and i can picture him wearing that… i also tried out a new kinda formatting for funsies ^_^ also i'm surprised i’ve never posted for frat!rafe? anyway first fic for 2025!

you'd never really been much into parties, your best friend constantly trying to get you to go to some of the various parties the social butterfly had gotten invited to, but you simply held up the book you were in the middle of and let out a soft hum as a way to say that you had your own plans. after some more pleading, lexi always gave up trying to convince you to come and left you in your own devices, returning in the early hours of the morning, trying to be as quiet as possible yet waking you up every time.

but this time, all the girl had to do was mention the frat party she was going to that night when you let out a sigh and told her you'd come with her. maybe there was a second reason you wanted to go, other than to just please your friend.

"we're having a party this friday."

you chuckled, turning your gaze from the book in front of you to the boy next to you, "you're in a fraternity, rafe. i'm pretty sure that happens every friday without exception."

your words caused the boy to roll his eyes, yet the small grin you'd grown to like still remained on his lips as he repositioned his backwards cap, "yeah, but it's a themed party. you should come."

"why?" you furrowed your brows in suspicion and confusion as to why he'd want you to attend, "what's the theme?"

"you're supposed to dress up as your type."

"and what are you going as? some kind of variation of jennifer from jennifer's body? or regina from mean girls?" you let out a small snort.

"guess you'll have to come if you wanna find out." the boy poked your forearm with the rubber end of his pencil, licking his lips, "i wanna see what kind of guys you are into. i bet it's some thrifty hipster dudes or some broody bad boys that secretly get hard for poetry and emily dickinson and shit."

you felt your cheeks warm from the memory as you placed the backwards cap on your head. you looked in the mirror, clad in loose jeans that hung low on your hips so it'd show off the calvin klein logo on your underwear, and a sweatshirt adorning the logo of your university. the outfit you wore looked just like something rafe would wear during one of your tutoring sessions. hell, he probably had.

lexi looked at you with raised brows, the muscular girl who usually wore dark, baggy clothes looked strange in the blue sundress she'd borrowed from you, her biceps basically protruding from the short sleeves, the girl's short black hair pulled up into a tiny attempt at a ponytail, wearing some simple makeup that you'd helped her apply.

"you're going as a frat guy? to a frat party?" she snorted, taking in your ensemble, "damn, you date so little that i had no idea that's the type of guy you were into."

you rolled your eyes, throwing her the handbag that she'd asked you if she could borrow, "and you're going as...?"

"a straight girl." lexi said, her usual shit-eating grin taking over her lips.

"in that case, you could've just worn like, a grey hoodie, those flared leggings, and a pair of white nike air force ones. most straight girls here do. i think you've failed at your assignment."

"shut up."

you were surprised by how many people actually dressed up according to the theme, especially over the number of frat boys wearing different types of skirts and dresses, some of them even sporting poorly done makeup looks on their faces.

having gotten separated from lexi almost the moment you arrived to the party, you were now leaning against the living room wall, hiding a part of your face behind a red solo cup half-full of some sort of concoction you'd found as you looked around. you'd always been better at standing aside, observing what everyone else was doing, rather than trying to join in.

you lifted the cup to your mouth and drank some of the nasty liquid, nearly spitting it out when you spot rafe chatting to his friends, just about managing to swallow it before you keel in laughter.

he stood confidently in a grey cardigan strewn over a white button-up that was so small on him it actually turned into a crop top, showing off the lower part of his abs, a faint happy trail as well as a defined v-line leading to a short black pleated skirt, his calves covered by black socks that ended just below his knees.

it seemed that your amusement had caught rafe's attention, as the moment you'd finally managed to straighten yourself up, the boy was strutting over to you, his hands on his hips in a way that almost caused you to go into another laughing fit.

"what's so funny?" rafe asked with lifted brows as he reached you, looking over your outfit with a pleased look on his face before gesturing to his own, "you don't think i look hot?"

"oh, definitely. the hottest." you snorted, bringing the drink to your lips and taking a small sip before pursing your lips in thought, "so, what's your type? britney spears?"

the boy's brows furrowed at that, "huh?"

"you look just like her in one of her music videos." you explained, your lips falling open in shock as his eyebrows continued to remain furrowed, "you don't know 'baby one more time'?"

"i haven't seen it." rafe shrugged, "what, you can't recognize who i'm trying to dress as?"

"i can't say i do. who?"

"i'm dressed as you."

you knew that if you were able to see yourself, your eyes would comically widen the moment the words left rafe's lips; and as you looked at him up and down, you realized, that his outfit was something you'd usually wear; just more lewd. "you're... dressed as me?"

"yeah. and clearly you're dressed as me."

"based- based on what?" you laughed incredulously, feeling your cheeks light up, bringing the cup to your lips and drinking just so you'd be able to hide a part of your face from the boy.

"well," rafe snatched the cap on your head, placing it on his instead, making his entire ensemble look even goofier, as he took hold of the front of your sweatshirt. "i'm pretty sure i've worn this exact same outfit."

"that doesn't mean anything… plenty of guys wear this." you mumbled from behind your cup, only to have rafe grab it from your hands, your eyes widening as you watched him finish it in one swallow, scrunching up the cup and throwing it on the floor somewhere.

cupping your chin with his finger and lifting it up so you were looking up at him, rafe brought his face closer to yours, his ice-blue eyes looking into yours in a way that made you feel like you were naked as his lips twisted into a knowing grin, "it doesn't?"

"n-"

before you could finish denying it, rafe's lips were pressed against yours; your eyes still wide open when his free hand slid to your waist, pulling you closer to him.

slowly, you felt yourself melt into the kiss, your eyes automatically closing as your lips moved against his. your hands were pressed against his chest, slowly moving down to feel his defined abs over the sheer button-up.

you could feel rafe's grin against your lips before he even pulled away, looking down at you with a knowing look on his face, the boy licking his lips causing you to bite down on your lower lip, your head spinning from just kissing him.

"so, that didn't mean anything, huh?"

[dollishmehrayan]

# “HOLD UP, POSE!” ── .✦ ( model!reader x batboys s/o kinda requested ˚⟡˖ )

a/n: so sorry for the break and how i traumatized half of you guys with my rant (if I suffer you gonna do too && let’s move on now ) and it’s lowkeyy funny ngl but omgg, I’m finally back though soo yeah but I’m finally taking requests again for a bit too so about that yeah and also make sure to go vote on the poll, we’re at 600+ votes already for my 1k event!! Tags: (batboys x model!reader)

© dollishmehrayan — ( all rights reserved to me. These works cannot be reposted, translated, or modified. Thank you for understanding dollies! )

DICK GRAYSON ── .✦

Your biggest fan, no contest. He has a folder on his phone labeled “My Gorgeous Girl” filled with all your magazine covers, runway shots, and candid photos he’s sneakily taken of you (even the ones where you’re eating pizza in sweats).

Loves to drop the fact that you’re a model into conversations. Someone says something even remotely related, and Dick is like, “Oh, that reminds me of the time yn walked for Valentino. She looked stunning. Anyway, how’s your dog?”

Flirty but lowkey jealous. He’s all smiles at your shoots, but if a photographer or fellow model gets a little too friendly, he’ll sidle up behind you, wrap an arm around your waist, and casually go, “Hey, babe, everything good here?”

Runs your fan page in secret. He denies it every time, but you know it’s him posting like archive photos of you? with captions like, “Truly the most breathtaking woman alive.”

Always hypes you up. You’re stressing before a runway show? He’s holding your hands, looking you dead in the eyes, and saying, “You’re going to kill it, just like always. They’re not ready for you.”

JASON TODD ── .✦

Pretends not to care, but he’s secretly obsessed. You’ll catch him flipping through your magazines with a bored expression, but the dog-eared pages of all your spreads say otherwise.

Gets grumpy when he has to share you with the world. “Do you really have to fly to Milan again? Can’t they get someone else to wear the fancy coat?” But he’s the first one to text you after your show with a “You looked amazing. Miss you, though.”

Always lurking at your events. He doesn’t do red carpets, but you’ll spot him in the back of the after-party, leaning against a wall with a drink in hand, watching you like you’re the only person in the room.

Jealous but funny about it. If a male model gets paired with you for a shoot, Jason will grumble, “You know I could wear that suit better, right?”

Says he doesn’t care about fashion but definitely critiques it. “They put you in that? Really? That’s what they think is high fashion?” (Meanwhile, he still owns a leather jacket he’s had since he was 17.)

TIM DRAKE ── .✦

The low-key proud boyfriend. Tim doesn’t brag about you… unless someone else brings it up. Then it’s a full PowerPoint presentation: “Oh, you didn’t know she walked the Paris Fashion Week finale? Let me show you.”, “it’s not that serious Tim.”

Forgets how famous you are sometimes. He’s so focused on his work that when he accompanies you to an event, he’s always surprised when people scream your name. “Wow, they’re… really excited to see you, huh?”

Pretends to be chill but panics at your shoots. If you’re wearing something too revealing, Tim’s sitting in the corner like, “Does she really need to wear that? I mean, it’s fashion, I guess, but still…”

Shows up to all your shows with coffee. He knows your schedule can be brutal, so he always has your favorite drink ready and a warm smile. “Long day, huh? Here, you’ve earned this.”

Accidentally goes viral as your boyfriend. Someone snaps a picture of him holding your bag while you’re doing a fitting, and now he’s trending as “hot model’s mystery man.” Or “Drake Spotted With L/N?”

DAMIAN WAYNE ── .✦

Thinks modeling is beneath you. Not because he doesn’t support you, but because he genuinely thinks you’re too good for it. “Tt. Why waste your time parading around in someone else’s designs when you could rule the world instead?”

Still shows up to your shows like a proud dad. He won’t admit it, but he’s ridiculously proud of you. He’ll sit front row, arms crossed, looking annoyed until you walk out. Then his face softens, and he claps (but only once).

Hates everyone in the industry. Photographers, stylists, agents—he side-eyes them all. “Do they have to touch you so much?”

Quietly supportive in his own way. You come home exhausted, and he’s already brewed your favorite tea and laid out your comfiest pajamas. “You should rest. You’ve worked hard enough today.”

Keeps all your clippings. You find a scrapbook in his study filled with your covers, tear sheets, and event photos. When you ask him about it, he just mutters, “I didn’t want them getting lost.” And even keeps some fan letters that you keep or lost along the way.

BRUCE WAYNE ── .✦

Thinks it’s “adorable.” Bruce can’t help but chuckle whenever you mention your modeling career. “You really enjoy this, don’t you?” But he’s not teasing he genuinely admires how passionate you are.

Surprisingly knowledgeable about fashion. He knows every major designer, can spot couture from a mile away, and will occasionally surprise you by saying things like, “That’s Galliano, isn’t it? From the ‘06 collection?”

Makes every event feel like a power couple moment. When you walk a red carpet together, it’s like the world collectively gasps. He keeps his hand on your back, whispers sweet nothings, and makes sure you’re the center of attention.

Defends your career to anyone who dares question it. Someone makes a snide remark about modeling being “shallow,” and Bruce immediately shuts them down with, “Actually, it’s an incredibly demanding profession that requires both discipline and skill. You should try it sometime.”

Buys your agency. You’re stressed about a bad contract or a difficult agent? Suddenly, Wayne Enterprises owns the company, and Bruce is like, “Problem solved. You can thank me later.”

[vhannilah]

iii. it's ride or die, baby!

pairing. player 230 | choi su-bong | thanos x f! reader

summary. you're not a big fan of your boyfriend's hobby. but, you wouldn't mind tagging along with him— even if it means danger.

contains. au, fluff, mature themes

WITNESSING a car blowing up was not a rare sight for you and your boyfriend, Choi Su-bong, most commonly known as Thanos.

Tasting the sweet flavor of your lollipop on your tongue, your eyes scanned the view across the street, watching the siren retrieve the deceased person inside the ambulance.

Without looking at your boyfriend, you muttered enough for him to hear, "Do you think he crashed the car on purpose?"

Your boyfriend replied, clearly unbothered at the scene in front of him, "Nah, babe. He's just stupid."

The reply made you nibble on your bottom lip, feeling worried start to creep in inside your head.

Su-bong felt your nervousness by the way you lightly tapped his hand, indicating you wanted to hold him. He let you hold his hand, squeezing your hands softly, "What's wrong, babe?"

You whispered honestly, "Just nervous about tonight..."

"Do you trust me?"

You immediately answered, "Of course!"

"Then there's nothing to worry about, babe. If anything out of hand happens, I'd handle 'em for you."

You nodded, your fear slowly subsiding at his words of reassurance. You leaned your head on his shoulder, listening to what he was going to say next, "That dude crashed his car because he didn't follow that one rule when it comes to driving."

"What?"

You asked your boyfriend in pure curiosity and anticipation. He stared at our expression for a few seconds before answering.

"Don't be stupid," he nonchalantly said as he took the lollipop from your mouth to his.

"Hey! That's mine— really?"

You watched him chew the lollipop into small crumbs until it melted right into his tongue. You frowned, clearly not happy about what he'd done.

Suddenly, his finger lifted your face by your chin. And without giving you a warning, his lips touched yours.

Although confused, you reciprocated the kiss.

He pried your lips open, pushing his tongue inside your mouth, intertwining with yours.

You could taste the sweet flavor of your lollipop as Su-bong's hands squeezed your waist, pulling you closer. Your face flushed at the sudden action, whining as the two of you continued to make out in public despite the judging eyes of the people passing by.

After a few minutes, the two of you separated from each other, leaving a trail of saliva from both your lips. You wiped it off, feeling your lips start to feel sore at the rough treatment it received.

"You could've just bought me a new one."

He smirked, "But you would've preferred my lips anyway."

That was the truth.

ᯓ★

The dark alley wasn't as silent as it had been on the previous nights that passed. People's voices mixed with the loud, booming music created a party-like atmosphere in the street.

The sound of the car engines roared through the night, the drivers inside speeding up as they left their imprint on the road.

Holding your boyfriend's hand, you never took your eyes off of his back as he led you out of the crowd, walking towards the rows of cars parked not far away from the main road that was used for the race.

Once you and him were finally released from the crowd, his hands let go of yours, placing it to your waist, pulling you closer as you walked side-by-side.

You could feel the heated glare your best friend's eyes, Myung-gi, were sending towards Su-bong's direction. He was not happy that your boyfriend decided to bring you with him.

Myung-gi was aware he shouldn't do anything rashly knowing that he's under the influence. But, the sight of you being with Su-bong made something stir inside of his head.

Without thinking of the possible consequences of his actions, Myung-gi released himself from his girlfriend's hand.

"[Name]!"

Myung-gi called out, putting on a smile as he approached you. Disregarding the unwelcome look your boyfriend was giving him, he pulled you in for a hug.

He held you tightly, "I missed you, you know? You never have the time to hang out with me after you got with... him."

Holding your hands up in the air, you slowly patted his back, "Yeah, I missed you and Jun-hee too."

You smiled at Jun-hee who was following Myung-gi. You thought he was going to let you go soon, but he didn't.

Feeling the hug was a bit way longer than it should have been, you patted his back, "Myung-gi?"

Su-bong pushed the other man away from you, obviously pissed, "Woah, woah! That's enough hug from my woman. You're not his boyfriend, yeah?"

Jun-hee held the man steady, making sure he was okay before shifting her eyes to the two of you, "Sorry about that. Myung-gi's drank a lot tonight."

"What? I'm not drunk, I didn't even drink that much!"

You smiled awkwardly, "Yeah, he's drunk. We should probably go now since the race is about to start," you waved at her, dragging your boyfriend away.

ᯓ★

"Baby, wait— mhm, not now!"

You begged your boyfriend, feeling his hands slither under your skirt, caressing your thighs. You tried to hold in your moans as he continued to litter kisses, bite, and suck on your neck— you were sure you wouldn't be able to hide it for the next few days no matter what you do.

Although breathless, you managed to whisper in his ears, "I only love you, baby. Not him, so don't be jealous of him."

He grumbled, "I'm not jealous of him, I just hated how he touched you."

You giggled at his response. Placing your hands on his cheeks, you kissed him passionately.

ᯓ★

"Brace yourself, baby. This is gonna be the best ride you'll ever experience in your whole life."

Rolling your eyes at his smug expression, you fastened your seatbelt and put your helmet on, ready to take off.

With his hands squeezing your thigh one last time, he asked, "You ready, baby?"

You deadpan, "Do I have a choice?"

"Nah."

With one final look at you, the final signal was sent, and the car he drove accelerated.

Your grip on your seatbelt tightened in fear. You felt like any second from now, the car would crash and both of you would die from how fast everything was going at the moment. You held yourself back from fainting.

Your boyfriend's reaction was the complete opposite of yours. He seems to be having the time of his life.

His opponent, Myung-gi, didn't seem to be the same.

Su-bong decided it was a good chance to teach this dude who's the boss. He lightly lowered the speed of the car, getting on the same level as Myung-gi's.

Lowering the car's window after sensing your best friend's eyes in your direction, he steered the cars wheels to the side, aggressively bumping the side on Myung-gi's car causing it to sway and almost crash in a nearby light post.

"Baby, what the f*ck are you doing?"

He answered, "Just being friendly."

Seeing the annoyed expression of Myung-gi, Su-bong felt satisfied as he closed the window and burst out laughing. The speed of vehicle went even faster before, overpowering the opponents as they were left behind.

The gap between him and the opponent's car was quite significant, showing you how skilled and talented your boyfriend really in in this field. Hell, he even had the audacity to place one of his hands on your thighs.

As much as you hated to admit it, your boyfriend's ability to maneuver the car was out of this world. It's as if the car and he turned into one entity.

With only one hand on the steering wheel, his control of the situation didn't affect how well he avoided obstacles that the two of you faced along the way.

You could feel the finish line was getting closer. You're certain your boyfriend's going to win.

Out of nowhere, a loud bang echoed at the back of the car. Confused, she asked her boyfriend, "What was that?"

"Well, well. Guess what? The motherf*cker finally decided to show his true colors," he sneered.

The attack didn't end just there. Multiple rounds of shots were sent towards the car. Unfortunately, Su-bong was preoccupied as he was controlling the car, making him unable to do anything but try to dodge the bullets from touching the wheels.

But, your hands were free. And Su-bong knew just avoiding it wouldn't help all that much. If they don't attack back, they'll get hit by the bullets.

"Baby, get the gun. It's in the back of my car"

"What? What do you want me to do?!," you choked, fear visibly showing on your face.

He asked in a serious tone, "Choose your side, baby. Me or that bastard?"

"You, of course."

His eyes softened at your answer before giving a light squeeze on your thigh, "Then, get the gun for me and let that bastard have a taste of his own medicine."

Although you still feel hesitant to do it, you nod your head and followed your boyfriend's order.

Sensing your nervousness, he reassured you, "Don't worry, baby. I'll handle everything else for you, just focus on what I said."

Believing his words, you put your head out the window, and without giving a warning, you released your first shot.

Bingo.

Luck seemed to be on your side as the first shot landed on the enemy's wheels, making the car stagger and almost crash. But you didn't stop there, you released another one.

The aim didn't miss, not even once. Seems like the shooting practice with your boyfriend was finally paying off.

Witnessing this through the side mirror, your boyfriend whistled, "That was so f*cking hot, baby!"

You couldn't help but smile at his proud expression, feeling a little bit proud of yourself knowing you just protected and saved you and your boyfriend's lives.

But still, you felt guilty for doing that to your friend.

"Baby, don't feel guilty. He was the one who did it first," he seemed to be able to read your mind at how he knew what was going on inside your head.

You nodded, releasing your negative emotions through a sigh.

Finally, the car reached the finish line.

Everyone who placed their bets on your boyfriend to win cheered, congratulating him whilst they surrounded his figure as soon as he left the car.

He ignored the crowd as he proceeded to walk on the other side of the car, opening it as he led you out.

With his hand placed on your waist, he kissed you passionately in front of the crowd before whispering in your ears, "Baby, I'm gonna kill that bastard tonight, is that okay?"

©vhannilah

[not-inappropriate]

I will say, the entry level job market on indeed dot com does indeed dot suck. But I think I’ve learned a decent amount since indeed and company websites are the only job boards I’ve used, and I’ve had a decent career so far, so I feel like I’ve got some decent advice. if any of this helps anyone at all hell yeah.

So:

1) HR people ALWAYS exaggerate the requirements. However much experience they say they want, you probably need one third of that. Certifications required usually means certifications preferred, depending on the industry. Like, Don’t apply to a surgeon position with only a nursing degree; but there’s a solid chance you can get a job with a CPA firm without being a CPA yourself. Just make sure you can give some sort of explanation as to why you would be able to do the job if asked.

Story: My brother (1 year experience, Bachelor’s degree) was once encouraged to apply to a new position within his company by his boss, who had instructed HR on the requirements and experience needed for the position (bachelors required, entry level, 1-3 year experience preferred), and when my brother goes to the website to apply it says 3-5 years experience required, Masters degree preferred. Bro said boss was PISSED. HR can be a joke sometimes.

2) Cover letters are usually pointless if it’s not an extreme specialty position with few candidates. Unless it says they’re highly encouraged or something

3) Maybe the most important: send follow up emails for EVerything. I think this is what held me back for months when I first started using indeed. And it doesn’t matter how bland or thoughtless is is. Two sentences in an HR bro’s inbox is worth 10 cover letters. And if you got a screening call or an interview and haven’t heard back in a week+ ?? Call their ass. They might offer the job to you on the spot. Last time I was job hunting I got a mid offer, after being ghosted on two good offers I’d interviewed for. I called both of them and said Soooo y’all make a decision??? They both offered me a job within 24 hours. (Brag, sorry)

Each listing probably has hundreds of applicants. People just spamming their resume across the internet. And emails, or especially calls, show actual interest. Go to the company website > about us > our staff > contact us > whatever. “Hi Mr. Bob. I saw your listing on indeed and wanted to introduce myself. I graduated this year and had trouble contacting anybody on the job listing websites, but I believe I have the qualifications necessary for the position. If you have a moment, could you forward my email to the relevant parties. My resume is attached. Thank you, XoXo”. Whatever. When I was working in my first entry level job doing data entry and answering phones, I got a phone call like this, and we actually gave the guy an interview (this guy blew it RIP). I’ve seen another boss mad when he got a call from a reasonably qualified applicant who said they hadn’t heard back after applying on one of the other job listing sites, and he came out yelling at his secretary (yeah he was an asshole), demanding to see the resume. Offered him the job in the first interview. (Hell yeah). Plus people feel bad turning you down after hearing your voice. You’re a human to them now.

4)As far as finding more relevant jobs? Similar to point 1. For entry level, select the 1-3 years experience instead. For bookkeeping, choose accounting instead. When I was also looking for a bookkeeping job, I couldn’t find one for the life of me. When I was looking for accounting jobs as a Managerial Auditior?? Bookkeeping listings all over my indeed page. Yeah it’s bullshit, but aiming up helps. Thats about all I have for that though.

So yeah. Apply to things you might not perfectly meet the requirements for. Emails and phone calls get people’s attention. and Real Bosses are often pissed when they find out the inefficiencies of HR and job boards too. Just send it

Anyway. Job hunting can be the least fun endeavor on the planet. Sending thotts and prayors for the lot of you 🙏🙏🙏 and praying I never have to do it again (now that I found my dream job) (on indeed dot com) (fuck indeed dot com) (but also thank you indeed dot com)

do genuinely find it fascinating how indeed.com is like the biggest job-hunting website out there and yet manages to be profoundly useless in every possible way

[captain-huggy-bear]

"Can- Can you come over please?" (I believe prompt list 1 number 80?) with whoever you're inspired for please 😊 thank you! - em

Em, it was giving soft boy Luke who's maybe feeling shitty after a bad game, so I hope you like it. First time writing Luke so I'm super sorry if it doesn't feel right for him (as we think of him because obvs we don't know him but still) Also I like how I was like let's write something short and then...just kept writing...😂 Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :) Writing Masterlist

You'd been friends with Luke Hughes for almost as long as he'd been in New Jersey, both of you new to the city at the time had stumbled into each other quite literally one wintery afternoon. Your coffee going all over his hoodie, his doughnut squishing chocolate icing over your sweater. You'd expected him to yell, instead you learnt that day how utterly sweet and kind Luke Hughes was. He replaced your coffee and refused to let you buy him a new doughnut, but did let you invite him over so you could put some stain remover on his hoodie.

You might be thinking, 'are you crazy? Inviting a strange man to your apartment?', but you can only explain your risk through two pieces of information: 1) You knew roughly who he was. You weren't a fan of his by any means but you followed Hockey and had heard about the newest addition to the Devils, so you at least knew he wasn't a criminal, 2) Luke Hughes had been wearing snoopy socks and something about that had screamed 'non-threatening'.

Looking back it was probably slightly insane on your part, but it bagged you a close friend who you may or may not have had a massive crush on, so you couldn't really say you regretted risking it.

It wasn't unusual for Luke to phone you after a game, more often than not you got a quick phone call or a few texts sent through while he was out celebrating or commisserating with the team, often being invited out even when he knew you weren't much for late nights out on the town.

It was unusual though for that phone call to come in at 1 in the morning while you were sleeping.

You're groggy and half awake, hand patting the bedside table until you grip your phone, Luke's ringtone blarring through the speakers only because he was one of your few exceptions. One of a handful of people who could call you after 11pm without being sent straight to voicemail, the others being your family.

"Lukey? It's..." You stop to squint at your alarm clock, "1:41 in the morning, what's wrong?" You knew the game had ended late, but Luke should have been in bed by now or he should have been out partying with Jack and the boys, definitely not phoning you. You half expected him to be drunk on the other end of the line, maybe having phoned you while out with the team.

Instead his breath is shaky on the other end of the line, voice raspy like he's been crying and that's what has you sitting upright and swinging your legs out of bed before he even finishes his question.

"Can- Can you come over please?" His voice is scratchy and strained, a rasp that sounds defeated. You don't even considering getting changed from your pajamas, you just throw a jacket on from your closet.

"Yeah, yeah, of course, what's wrong?"

"Just...just come over please, angel" You're quick timing it as you shove your feet in a pair of shoes and grab your keys off the side, locking your apartment door behind you. It didn't matter to you that it was nearly 2am or that you hadn't brushed your hair or that you were half-asleep, all that mattered was Luke and the way he sounded like the world might be just a little too much for him right now.

"Okay, okay, want me to stay on the line?"

"No, just...drive safe?" You pause in the hallway, heart hurting at his concern, that even now when he's begging for your help he cares that you're safe.

"Yeah, course, Lu, i'm leaving right now, sweetheart." He lets out a shuddering breath on the line, right before he hangs up and you're certain you might cry because God, Luke shouldn't sound like that, so utterly defeated, so fragile.

You do your best to honour his request on the drive to his and Jack's apartment, even as you want to break a hundred traffic laws just to get there sooner, but you don't. It doesn't take long, but ten minutes feels like one hundred when all you want is to be see Luke and make sure he's okay.

He's at the door from the first knock and you don't say anything, just take him in. His tall form hunched at the shoulders like he's trying to hide within his hoodie, hood pulled over his head and eyes red rimmed, blotchy. There are dark, deep circles beneath his eyes and his lip is bruised and split, a few neatly placed stitches holding it together.

You don't say anything, just step forward and wrap him in your arms as best you can, tiptoeing to press your chin to his shoulder, arms tight around him as if you can protect him from whatever is going on in his head.

He grasps as you like you're a lifeline, fingers digging into your jacket, face pressed so tight to the crook of your neck that you're certain he'll fuse there.

He doesn't protest when you pull him into his apartment, door slamming shut. Doesn't protest when you pull him to his room, asking where Jack is, only to get a short clipped reply of 'club'. Doesn't protest when you sit him on his bed and join him, shoes being kicked off. It's not until you try to pull away from him that he really seems to come to life, hands grasping you firmer, pulling you back, "Don't go, please don't go..."

"'m not going anywhere, Lu, it's okay..." You pull back just enough that you can pull his hood back, fingers carding through his brown curls gently like he might break. "What happened?"

"Just needed you..." His face presses back into your shoulder as your fingers work through his hair like it's a perfectly normal thing to say to your best friend, like he didn't call because he had a shit game, because he doesn't want to talk about it."

"Lu...talk to me, baby"

There's a stark silence, broken only by a shaky breathe that comes from Luke as if the idea of talking is enough to make him cry for the second time that night. "I'm...i'm not good enough for the team, did a shit job tonight and we lost...it's my fault. Played like shit."

"What did Jack say?" You're gentle with it, soft voice, soft fingers on the nape of his neck. It's silly, he knows he's being dramatic, he also knows that it's not a friend thing to do. Knows he wouldn't call any of his other friends at near 2am because he needs them, knows he wouldn't beg for their fingers in his hair to sooth him or feel better just by the smell of their laundry detergent and shampoo. Luke knows he called you because he loves you, pretty sure he loved you the moment you excitedly showed him you'd gotten the coffee stain out of his UMIC hoodie.

"I was being too hard on myself, that it wasn't the 'Luke Hughes show'." He immitates Jack's voice, a pouty sort of tone riding his voice because he knows his brother is right even if he refused to sit moping with him and went out drinking instead.

"He's right. Hockey is a team sport, Luke, you aren't even on the ice the entire time! You do not get to decide that you're the reason a game is won or lost, you don't get to shoulder that."

"But.." Your palms cup his face, pulling him up to look at you. Your face is dead serious brows furrowed, lips pursed.

"No, you're a good hockey player. They picked you to play for them because of what you bring to the table and maybe you didn't play your best tonight , but you deserve to be on the team. You can't always be at 100." Your thumbs brush his cheeks under his eyes, like you might be able to wipe away the dark bags there. He looks worn, exhausted, tears just welling in those green eyes of his.

You're not entirely sure he believes you, "If I said I wasn't good enough because I had a bad day at work, what would you say to me?"

"To shut up and stop being mean to yourself..." Luke frowns at you like you're insane for even suggesting something like that, and it's what makes you smile for the first time that night, as if to say I told you so.

"Exactly, so stop being mean to yourself, Lu. You're amazing, i'm always in awe of how you skate..." You brush a curl from his eyes and watch them flutter closed slightly, throat tightening a little because you know this isn't the way you're supposed to feel about your best friend.

"Really?"

"Really..." You watch him carefully, the way he just leans more into your hands like he trusts you entirely to hold him up, the deep swelling of his lip, the beauty marks across his cheeks. "What do you need from me, right now?"

He takes a moment, like the words are stuck on the tip of his tongue whether unsure of how to ask or worried to make things weird. Both of you always toeing the line between friends and something decidedly more romantic.

"Can...can you just hold me? Just stay the night?" He blinks up at you with such big sweet eyes that you're not sure anyone would be able to refuse him, so you don't.

"I can do that."

You treat him delicately, like he's not a nearly 200 pound hockey player that regularly gets body slammed against boards and ice, who's covered in bruises and currently sporting a split lip. You pull him to lie down with you, curling around him like a protective blanket, pulling his face back into the crook of your neck, legs twisting with his. It's definitely not what friends do, but it's what he needs, so he grips you back tight, presses his face firmly into your neck and pulls your leg over his hip to be as close as possible.

You don't move more than the brush of fingers through his hair or down his arm, across his back. Even when you can hear soft snores, the sign of him having fallen asleep, you don't move because as much as Luke said he need this, you kind of need this too.

[rafeskai]

Not Now, Not Ever | Rafe Cameron

Summary: After a tense run-in with the cops, reader is injured while trying to escape, and Rafe reluctantly steps in to help. Though initially distant, Rafe's care and honesty break through the reader's defenses, revealing a vulnerability neither of them expected. As they face the aftermath together, the tension between them intensifies.

Pairings: Rafe Cameron x Pogue!Reader

Warnings: Profanities

Author's Note: Requested by Anon! 

The thing about Rafe Cameron was that he always seemed untouchable. Born into privilege, raised on Figure Eight with a golden spoon in his mouth and a name that opened doors, he was the embodiment of everything you didn’t have. And yet, he was the storm you could never quite outrun.

You hadn’t meant to cross paths with him. Your world—chaotic, messy, and a little too close to the edge—didn’t belong anywhere near his. But life in Kildare had a way of throwing people together, whether they fit or not.

It started months ago, on a humid summer night at one of those wild beach parties you swore you’d stop going to. The sand was packed with bodies, the air heavy with the scent of salt and cheap beer. You were nursing your third drink of the night, watching the waves crash against the shore, when Rafe stumbled into your line of sight.

He looked like trouble—disheveled blond hair, a cocky smirk that didn’t quite reach his eyes, and an energy that screamed recklessness. You’d heard the stories about him, the whispered warnings. Stay away from Rafe Cameron. He’s bad news.

You should have listened.

But when his sharp blue eyes locked onto yours across the bonfire, something shifted. It wasn’t a spark; it was a collision—two opposing forces drawn together by some unseen magnetism. He swaggered over, drink in hand, and before you knew it, you were trading barbs and sidelong glances, the tension between you electric.

“You don’t belong here,” he’d said, his tone teasing but laced with something darker.

“And you do?” you shot back, refusing to back down.

That was the first of many encounters. Somehow, despite your better judgment, you kept running into him. At parties, in the middle of town, even at the gas station late one night when you were buying snacks to fuel another all-night gaming session.

The dynamic between you was always the same: sharp words and stolen glances, a push and pull that left you dizzy. He got under your skin in a way no one else could, peeling back your defenses with a smirk or a well-placed comment. And yet, there was something about him—something vulnerable beneath the bravado—that kept you from walking away.

Rafe, for all his arrogance, seemed fascinated by you too. He’d ask questions he had no right to ask, dig into your life like he was trying to understand what made you tick. You never gave him straight answers, but you had a feeling he saw through your deflections.

One night, after too many drinks and an argument that left you both seething, he’d grabbed your arm as you turned to leave. “You think you’re better than me, don’t you?” he’d spat, his voice low and dangerous.

You’d stared at him, something raw and unspoken passing between you. “No,” you’d said quietly. “I think we’re both just really, really fucked up.”

He hadn’t let go right away. And in the silence that followed, something unspoken settled between you—a fragile truce, an understanding that you were both running from something neither of you wanted to name.

But your worlds were still too different. While you spent your days trying to keep your life from spiraling further out of control, Rafe seemed to thrive in the chaos. He was fire to your gasoline, and every time you got too close, you felt the heat.

You told yourself it didn’t mean anything. That the stolen glances and lingering touches were just part of the game he liked to play. But late at night, when the world was quiet and you were alone with your thoughts, you couldn’t stop wondering: What would happen if you let yourself fall?

You never got the chance to find out.

The months passed, and the tension between you remained unresolved. 

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The moon hung low in the sky, its silvery glow casting eerie shadows across the tangled maze of Kildare’s backstreets. You had been here before—ducking between alleyways, heart pounding in your chest like a war drum, your breath coming in sharp, uneven gasps. But tonight was different. Tonight, you weren’t just out of luck. You were out of time.

The piercing sound of sirens grew louder, echoing through the quiet night, chasing you like a predator. The adrenaline pumping through your veins was the only thing keeping you upright. Your knees ached from the sprint, but you couldn’t stop now. Not when the alternative was cuffs and a mugshot.

You cursed under your breath, your mind racing as you turned a sharp corner and slipped into a narrow alleyway. It was dark and cramped, but it gave you a moment to catch your breath. Pressing your back against the cold, damp wall, you counted the seconds, hoping—praying—that the cops would pass you by.

Then, the unmistakable sound of heavy boots crunching gravel reached your ears.

Damn it.

Panic clawed at your chest as you scrambled to move, but in your haste, your foot caught on a loose brick. The ground rushed up to meet you, and you landed hard, pain flaring through your ankle and shoulder. You bit back a cry, clutching your injured arm as you tried to push yourself upright.

"Shit," you hissed, blinking back tears of frustration. There was no way you could outrun them now.

“Having fun down there?”

The voice came from above you, sharp and dripping with sarcasm. You looked up, squinting through the darkness, and your stomach sank when you recognized the silhouette. Rafe Cameron stood at the end of the alley, arms crossed, an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips. His piercing blue eyes practically glowed in the dim light, and the smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth made your blood boil.

Of all the people to stumble across you in this mess, it had to be him.

“Great. Just my luck,” you muttered, dragging yourself to your feet with a wince.

Rafe raised an eyebrow, his gaze flickering to your injured arm. “Looks like you’ve had a rough night.”

“No shit,” you snapped, brushing dirt off your jeans. You glanced nervously toward the street, where the sirens seemed to be growing louder. “And I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got places to be.”

He didn’t move. Just leaned against the wall, watching you with that infuriatingly smug expression. “You’re not going anywhere like that.”

“I’ll manage.” You tried to take a step, but your ankle buckled beneath you, sending you stumbling forward. Before you could hit the ground again, a strong hand shot out to catch you.

You stared up at him, startled, as he steadied you. His grip was firm but careful, and for a moment, his usual arrogance was replaced by something almost… concerned.

“Careful,” he muttered, his voice quieter now. “You’re gonna hurt yourself worse.”

You jerked away from him, your cheeks burning. “I don’t need your help.”

“Right,” he drawled, letting his hands fall to his sides. “Because limping around on a busted ankle is working out so well for you.”

“Why do you care, anyway?” you shot back, glaring at him. “Last I checked, you weren’t exactly the Good Samaritan type.”

He shrugged, pulling the cigarette from his mouth and tucking it behind his ear. “Maybe I’m bored. Or maybe I just don’t feel like watching you get arrested.”

“Touching,” you said dryly, but the truth was, you were too exhausted—and too hurt—to argue. The pain in your ankle was unbearable, and your shoulder wasn’t much better. If you didn’t get out of here soon, you’d be spending the night in a cell.

Rafe must have seen the resignation in your eyes because he sighed, running a hand through his messy blond hair. “Come on. My truck’s around the corner. I’ll get you out of here.”

You hesitated, staring at him as if he’d grown a second head. “Why would you do that?”

His lips twitched, but it wasn’t quite a smile. “Let’s just say I’ve been in your shoes before.”

That wasn’t exactly comforting, but it wasn’t like you had any better options. With a reluctant nod, you let him drape your arm over his shoulders, his other hand sliding around your waist to support you. His touch was surprisingly gentle, and despite everything, a strange warmth spread through you.

“Don’t make me regret this,” he muttered as he helped you limp toward his truck.

By the time you reached it, the sirens had faded into the distance, leaving the night eerily quiet. Rafe opened the passenger door and helped you climb in, his hands lingering a moment longer than necessary before he stepped back.

As he started the engine, you leaned your head against the window, exhaustion overtaking you. You didn’t trust him—probably never would—but for now, you were grateful.

“Where are we going?” you asked softly.

“Somewhere safe,” he replied, his voice low and steady.

The rumble of the truck's engine filled the silence as Rafe drove through the dark, deserted streets. You fought to keep your eyes open, the adrenaline of the chase fading and leaving behind a bone-deep exhaustion. Every bump in the road sent a jolt of pain through your injured shoulder and ankle, but you bit your lip to keep from making a sound.

Rafe glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“I’m fine,” you muttered, though the sharp sting in your shoulder said otherwise.

“Right,” he said, unconvinced. “Well, we’re almost there.”

You didn’t bother asking where “there” was. Arguing with Rafe Cameron was like shouting into the void—completely pointless. Instead, you stared out the window, watching the familiar streets give way to the isolated backroads of Figure Eight. The trees grew thicker, their twisted branches reaching out like skeletal fingers, and the only light came from the truck’s headlights slicing through the darkness.

When Rafe finally pulled into the driveway of a small, secluded cabin, you frowned. “This… isn’t your house.”

“Nope,” he said, cutting the engine. “It’s a place I use when I need to get away. No one’s gonna find us here.”

The way he said it sent a shiver down your spine, though you couldn’t tell if it was from fear or relief. You didn’t exactly trust him, but you were too tired to care. If this was some kind of elaborate trap, you’d deal with it later.

Rafe came around to your side of the truck and opened the door. “Come on,” he said, his tone softer than before. “Let’s get you inside.”

You didn’t argue as he helped you out of the truck, his arm steadying you as you limped toward the cabin. The interior was surprisingly cozy, with worn furniture and a stone fireplace that cast a warm glow across the room. It felt lived-in, though you doubted anyone else knew about this place.

“Sit,” Rafe ordered, guiding you to the couch. “I’ll grab the first aid kit.”

You sank into the cushions, wincing as the movement jostled your shoulder. The pain was worse now, no longer dulled by the adrenaline. When Rafe returned, he carried a small, battered kit and a bottle of water. He crouched in front of you, his expression unreadable as he set the supplies on the coffee table.

“This is gonna hurt,” he warned, pulling a pair of gloves from the kit.

“Great,” you muttered, but you didn’t stop him as he carefully peeled back your sleeve to examine your shoulder. His fingers were warm against your skin, and you cursed the way your breath hitched when he touched you.

“You dislocated it,” he said after a moment. “I’ll have to pop it back in.”

Your stomach flipped. “Can’t we just… leave it for now?”

Rafe gave you a look that said he wasn’t in the mood for jokes. “If we don’t fix it, it’ll get worse. Trust me, you don’t want that.”

Trust him. The words felt foreign, almost laughable. But as he positioned himself beside you, his hand bracing your arm, you realized you didn’t have much of a choice.

“On three,” he said, his voice low and steady. “One—”

Before he even got to two, he pushed. Pain exploded in your shoulder, sharp and blinding, and you let out a strangled cry. Tears blurred your vision as you gasped for breath, the pain slowly ebbing to a dull throb.

“You okay?” Rafe asked, his tone softer now.

You nodded, swallowing hard. “I hate you.”

A ghost of a smirk tugged at his lips. “You’re welcome.”

The rest of the cleanup was quieter. He wrapped your ankle with surprising care, his touch almost gentle as he worked. You watched him in silence, noting the way his brows furrowed in concentration, the flicker of something unspoken in his eyes. It was strange, seeing him like this—focused, almost… kind.

When he finished, he leaned back, wiping his hands on a towel. “There. You’ll live.”

“Thanks,” you muttered, feeling awkward under his gaze. “For… everything.”

Rafe didn’t respond right away. He just stared at you, his blue eyes searching yours as if he was trying to figure out what to say. The air between you grew heavy, charged with an electricity that made your skin prickle.

“You’re a mess, you know that?” he said finally, his voice quieter than usual.

You bristled, narrowing your eyes. “Gee, thanks. Glad to know you’re still a jerk.”

“That’s not what I meant,” he said, his expression softening. “You’ve been running yourself into the ground, getting into all this trouble, and for what? You’re gonna get yourself killed one of these days.”

You looked away, the weight of his words settling over you. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted, and for once, there was no edge to his voice. “But I do.”

The confession hung in the air, raw and unexpected. You turned back to him, your heart racing as you searched his face for any hint of a joke. But there was none. Just the truth, laid bare between you.

“Rafe—”

“I’m not good at this,” he interrupted, running a hand through his hair. “But I can’t stand seeing you like this. You drive me insane, and half the time I don’t even know why I bother, but… I care about you. More than I should.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, leaving you breathless. You didn’t know what to say, how to respond to a confession you’d never expected. But as you looked at him, his usual mask of arrogance stripped away, you realized something else.

You cared about him too.

The tension between you crackled like a live wire, pulling you closer until there was barely any space left. His eyes flickered to your lips, and for a moment, you thought he might close the gap.

But he didn’t. Instead, he leaned back, running a hand over his face as if to steady himself.

“You should get some rest,” he said, his voice rough. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The cabin felt different in the light of day. The warmth from the fire was gone, replaced by a cold chill that seeped into your bones. You hadn’t slept at all the night before—your mind too restless, too tangled with the memory of Rafe’s confession. You tried to brush it off, telling yourself it didn’t mean anything. But the truth was, you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Rafe’s voice echoed in your mind, his words hanging in the air like an unfinished sentence. “I care about you. More than I should.”

The way he’d said it—quiet, raw, and unguarded—had unsettled you. You weren’t used to that kind of honesty, especially not from him. Rafe Cameron wasn’t supposed to care. Not about you. He was supposed to be the reckless, untouchable bad boy that everyone warned you to stay away from.

So why couldn’t you shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t as untouchable as you thought?

You stretched out on the couch, the pain from your injuries still a dull throb in the background, but nothing compared to the weight of your thoughts. The first light of dawn had barely crept through the curtains when Rafe appeared in the doorway, his silhouette framed by the soft glow.

“Morning,” he said gruffly, his voice rough with sleep.

You barely acknowledged him, your gaze fixed on the floor. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“Do what?” he asked, stepping into the room. He’d changed into a worn flannel shirt and jeans, looking as effortlessly put together as always, despite the tension between you.

“Act like nothing happened,” you muttered. You pushed yourself upright on the couch, wincing as you adjusted your shoulder. “We both know that you didn’t mean what you said last night.”

He was silent for a moment, his eyes studying you with an intensity that made your stomach flip. “You think I lied?”

“No,” you said quickly, though it didn’t feel entirely true. “I think you said it in the heat of the moment. Maybe you were trying to fix things or—”

“Or what?” Rafe cut you off, his voice sharper than usual. “You think I can’t feel things just because I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve?” His jaw tightened as he took a step closer, eyes never leaving yours. “I didn’t lie. I said it because I meant it.”

The air between you thickened, the words hanging heavily in the space between you. You could feel the pull, the electric tension that seemed to coil tighter with every breath you took. But you were too stubborn to admit it—too scared to believe it was real.

Rafe ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “Look, I know you don’t want to hear it. But I can’t pretend like I don’t care. Not anymore.”

You stood up, a rush of emotions flooding through you. “This isn’t a fairy tale, Rafe. People like us don’t get to have happy endings.”

His eyes softened for a moment, the hardness in his expression giving way to something more vulnerable. “Maybe we don’t need a happy ending. Maybe we just need to get through the mess we’ve made together.”

For a moment, you didn’t know what to say. His words hung in the air, leaving you caught between something you couldn’t quite define and something you were terrified to face.

“I don’t know if I can trust you,” you whispered, your voice trembling despite your best efforts to stay composed.

He stepped closer, his presence almost overwhelming now. “I’m not asking you to trust me. I’m asking you to trust yourself. You don’t have to do this alone, you know.”

His words struck a chord deep within you. You’d always prided yourself on being independent, on handling everything on your own. But the truth was, you were tired—tired of running, tired of pretending you didn’t need someone. And maybe, just maybe, Rafe was the person who could help you put the pieces back together.

But you weren’t ready for that. Not yet.

You stepped back, crossing your arms over your chest in a protective gesture. “I need space, Rafe. I’m not ready for this.”

He didn’t argue. Instead, he simply nodded, a hint of understanding flickering in his eyes. “I’ll give you space. But don’t think for a second that I’m going anywhere.”

The words were both comforting and suffocating all at once. You weren’t sure what you wanted anymore, but you knew you couldn’t keep pretending like this—like nothing had changed between you.

“I don’t need saving,” you said quietly, the words coming out sharper than you intended. “I’m not some damsel in distress.”

Rafe didn’t flinch. His eyes softened as he took a step back. “I know. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve help.”

There was a long, heavy silence between you, the weight of his words pressing down on you. For the first time in a long time, you let yourself believe that maybe he was right. Maybe you didn’t have to do everything on your own.

“I’ll be outside,” Rafe said after a moment, his voice low but steady. “If you need anything.”

You didn’t respond, your gaze already drifting to the window. As he walked out of the cabin, you sank back down onto the couch, your mind swirling with a thousand thoughts, none of which made sense.

But one thing was clear—no matter how hard you tried to push him away, Rafe wasn’t going anywhere.

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

A few hours later, you were sitting at the kitchen table, absently staring out at the woods surrounding the cabin. You hadn’t heard Rafe move around, but when you looked up, he was standing in the doorway again, his gaze gentle.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said, his voice tentative. “You’re in a lot of trouble right now, and I can help. My family... well, they know people. Good people. I can have my lawyers handle everything, get you out of this mess. You won’t have to run anymore.”

The offer hung in the air, heavy with the weight of his sincerity. You hadn’t expected him to offer something so personal—so vulnerable.

You blinked, still processing the offer. “You’d really do that? For me?”

Rafe’s jaw tightened, and he took a step closer, his gaze softening. “I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t mean it.”

You hesitated. The idea of being free from the constant fear of being caught was tempting, but something inside you still resisted. “But... why? Why help me, after everything?”

Rafe’s expression shifted, vulnerability flashing through his eyes. “Because I don’t want to see you suffer. I don’t want you to keep running, thinking you’re alone in all of this.” He hesitated, his voice lowering. “And because, despite all the chaos, I care about you. More than I ever thought I would.”

The silence between you was thick, but this time, it didn’t feel suffocating. It felt like something fragile and real, the kind of thing that could grow if you let it.

You met his eyes, the weight of his words settling over you, and for the first time in a long time, you let yourself believe that maybe, just maybe, things didn’t have to be as messed up as you’d convinced yourself they were.

“I don’t want to keep running either,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Rafe gave you a soft smile, stepping closer until he was standing right in front of you. “Then let me help you. Let me fix this. You don’t have to do it alone.”

For a moment, you just stood there, looking at him, the air between you warmer than it had been in a long time. You didn’t have all the answers, and maybe things weren’t perfect, but for once, it felt like you were on the edge of something real.

“I’ll take your help,” you said, your voice steady but filled with a hesitant warmth. “But only if you promise not to bail when things get messy.”

Rafe chuckled, that familiar spark in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. Not now, not ever.”

And just like that, the walls between you crumbled, replaced with something new—something uncertain, but full of promise. For the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to believe in a future where you weren’t alone. And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

© 2025 rafeskai | All rights reserved. My work is a work of fiction inspired by different characters, and no part of it may be reproduced or distributed without permission.

[bunnithechubs]

transcript:

[TEXT THREAD W. REINA] yesterday V: Good Morning, Blue. Ami I finally going to get a response from you? R: SimPay $250 NAILS V: Can I at least get a pic of your nails??? Today 10:15 AM V: Morning, Blue. hope you enjoyed your nail appointment. Think we can grab coffee soon?

V: What's for lunch today, Dad? A: Salmon stew. How was your work out, Papi? V: Pretty good. I was actually able to increase my reps. A: That's good! Go on and eat. I'll meet you after I make my espresso. V: Alright, thanks for the food dad.

A: By the way, your brother said he wanted to come visit. V: sighs You mean he wants to come here to lecture me. A: He just misses you and he’s even bringing Mae with him. Dad, you don’t have to lie. V: I know he’s mad at me partying. A: If he is he has not said anything to me. I think he just missed us while he was in Henford. V: Riiiiight. A: Go up and shower. I’ll clean up, Papi. He’ll be here soon.

[TEXT THREAD W. REINA CONT.] 11:30 AM V: Blue. just let me follow you, damn.

[TEXT THREAD W. REINA CONT.] 12: 06 PM V: I will literally give you whatever you want if you let me follow you. R: SimPay $1.5K PICTURE

[TEXT THREAD W. REINA CONT.] 12:10 PM V: I really wanna be vulgar to you right now, but I'm trying to stay on your good side. R: ?? V: ... your boobs + my face = dream come true 12:30 PM V: Alright Reina. I'm tired of the thirsting over you. I'm making reservations for dinner. I want to take you on a date. Saturday night, I'll send you a car at 7:30 pm. R: See you, Satursday. R: I will not be seein gyou clubbing or seeing women, correct? V: No you will not, Reina.

A: You’ve been on your phone a lot lately. Did you finally get through to Jennifer? V: No. Jennifer blocked me a while ago. I met someone new and I’m going to take her out Saturday. A: Who is this new girl who has my son smiling and texting so much? [doorbell rings] V: We’ll have to save that for another time dad.

C: Hey Vin- V: Hand her over! sighs C: Nice to see you too. coos V: You missed your Uncle Vinny huh? Man she’s getting so big. Last time I saw her she barely had any hair. C: Don’t remind me, I wish I could keep her that small forever. She loved the bear you got her for Winterfest by the way. V: I knew she would. See that’s why Uncle Vinny is your favorite- right?

A: There’s my hijo. How was the trip here? C: Hey dad, smooth. The roads here are clearer than in Newcrest. A: No Kitty today? Nope just Mae and me. C: Kitty had a deposition for work. She sends her love though. A: How’s she doing with the pregnancy? C: It’s been pretty rough for her so I’m convinced it’s a boy. A: Do you want me to come by more often to give her a break? C: That would help out a lot actually. A: I’ll pack a bag and stay a few nights. Give Vinny some time alone.

A: She must have been up the whole car ride with how quickly she went down. C: Oh yeah, she babbled at me the whole drive. She definitely got that from her mother. A: Soon she will have a little sibling babbling with her. C: Yeah, I hope they are best friends. A: You boys were close as kids. I’m sure they will be too. Do you think she will be jealous with there being a new baby? C: I don’t think so but I’m sure we will handle it if it comes up.

C: So, Vinny- V: I’m fine, Cain. C: You expect me to believe that? V: I expect you to act like my brother and trust me when I say I’m fine. C: There is no world where going out every night and sleeping with multiple women in a week is fine, Vinny. V: You’re one to talk. Need I remind you of where I learned this from? C: Exactly. I wasn’t fine when I was doing the same shit you were. So want to try this again but with honesty?

V: I am being honest- I’m fine. C: So Jen having a new boyfriend doesn’t bother you? V: No and why do we even need to bring her up? She broke up with me, remember? C: Vinny, she asked for space and you said- V: I knew she reached out to you. C: She did and for good reason. V: Look, I’m fine. I found a new girl and I actually like her. Ask dad I haven’t been out this week and I haven’t been seeing anyone. A: He’s not lying. C: Dude, a girl is not going to fix what’s eating at you inside.

V: This is why we never talk anymore. You’re too damn nosey. If I want to sleep with all of the women in San Myshuno then I will. Right now I really like this girl and I’m on my best behavior. Maybe you should send her a thank you card or something. C: What’s her name- maybe I will? V: I’m not telling your nosey ass one more thing. C: You really like her? V: I do. C: Then I hope it works out for the best Vinny. I just want to see you happy. That’s all. V: Start with bringing Mae around more and hanging out with me. C: I can do that.

[bluem1lls]

hii, could you write a one-shot where se-mi fucks fem reader after an argument/angry? like including really rough sex, degradation, hair pulling, a strap, etc, anything you feel comfortable with. im sorry if this is too horny this is my ovulation week 💔

✧₊⁺ but you belong to me

se-mi x fem!reader

authors note: so clearly, this is very much headcanon shdjdjj i tried mixing both together and this came out! thank you so much to both for the request and i hope u like it!

✦ synopsis: you're so in love with your best friend that is not really a surprise when you two fight because she wants to hookup with a random girl.

but as she sees you sitting next to nam-gyu, talking so close, she needs to show you who you belong to.

content: minors dni, best friends to lovers, jealous se-mi (AAAA), smut, strap on, dom!se-mi x sub! reader, bathroom sex, fingering/oral (r!receiving), slight choking and degradation, hair pulling

i can't believe my anger lead me to this pathetic path.

sitting here, with nam-gyu. that's like... as low as you can get.

"why are you here, doll?" he says, staring at me. "like, don't get me wrong, i'm happy that you decided i'm the best option to hang out but... don't you have a little bodyguard that you're always with?"

i frown as i stare at a blank point. "she decided it's best to go fuck a random girl than staying with her best friend"

se-mi and i have been best friends since senior year from high school. we did everything together, that even lead to eachother being our first kiss for example, but we always said it was a way to experiment, for when the real time comes.

of course, that didn't stopped me from falling for my best friend.

so when we met this new waitress at our usual coffee shop that couldn't stop poiting "how pretty se-mi's piercings are", i didn't liked her.

i was hugging se-mi, feeling cold and confused as she broke our hug to chat with a random girl. random! girl!

that's was so mean of her.

i mean, she has no idea of the feelings i have for her but... she can't be that blind?

right?

so, that lead to us fighting at se-mi's house afterwards, where we were having the last hangout of the year with our group and a few others.

the 'fight' being me telling her how much i didn't liked this new girl as she replied by scoffing and rolling her eyes.

like always.

that brings me to present time. where, the party has already started. i can see se-mi talking and laughing with this girl (she even invited her, i can't believe it!) while im sitting next to nam-gyu, a boy who i know she really fucking hates but just got used to his presence because we're in the same friend group.

"i think the word you're looking for is jealous" he keeps with the conversation. he chuckles as i stare at him like he was insane.

"don't say that. i'm not jealous. i just think it's stupid that i tell her 'oh hey don't hook up with her, she gives me bad vibes' and she still goes for it!" i tell him gesturing with my hands, getting angry all over again.

"you're too pretty to be jealous, doll" nam-gyu says, staring at me.

"maybe not more than a random blonde" i mumble, covering my face.

"hey listen. we might not get along great, but" he says, removing my hands out of my face, making me stare him. "you're the most gorgeous girl in this trashy party" we both chuckle.

i smile, thankful. he's actually making me feel better.

"thanks, i can't believe i'm saying this but... you're actually a decent person" i spoke, smiling.

he grins as one of his hands goes to grab a strand of my hair, tucking it behind my ear.

as he was getting close, a hand grabs the neck of his shirt from behind and pulls him away.

"what the fuck do you think you're doing?" se-mi says to him, her face twisted in anger and betray. her stare now focus on me as she frowns. "were you going to kiss him? for real?" she scoffs as she lets nam-gyu free of her hold and sarcastically chuckles.

i stare at her, confusion all over my face.

what was she talking about?

getting up from the couch, i stand in front of her.

"i don't get it. if i get in between your hookup i'm a bitch but you interrumpt a conversation and you're a heroe?" i say close to her face. we're standing a few inches apart. i can feel her breath on my face. i know she's mad. she has the same harsh look everytime thanos or nam-gyu say something that she doesn't like, before punching them.

but i'm not used to her staring at me that way.

"this is ridiculous. we're all having a good time. we'll talk about this later" i say turning around, heading to the bathroom.

i can hear her loud steps following me as i enter to the bathroom. she pushes the door before i can close it and enters, closing the door behind her.

she walks towards me, taking a deep breath as she stares my features. annoyance is clear on her face.

"what the fuck? nam-gyu? that's who you choose to go for, out of all the people here?" her expression growing with irritation.

"oh i'm sorry, i thought you were too busy with the blondie to notice my presence!"

"what are you talking about?" she says like i'm insane. "why does she makes you so angry? you never aprove of anyone i try to hookup." she says, scoffing.

"well, im just looking out for you"

"bullshit." se-mi replies, her expression growing angrier "you push me away, you flirt with nam-gyu-"

"flirt with nam-gyu?" i say, stopping her mid-sentence, confused. "what are you talking about? i wasn't flirting with him!"

"you were. you literally let him get close to you, touch your hair"

"you do that, my friends sometimes do that, i thought it was friendly" i shrugged. was he really flirting with me? "i didn't noticed. i promise"

she gazes into my eyes and looks for any sign of a lie in my face. her stare softens once she sees that i'm not lying to her. she steps closer to me, her body still tense.

"it made me so angry seeing you with him" she said, avoiding my eyes. "i thought you were trying to make me jealous on purpose and.." she stops and pins me against the wall. "it was driving me crazy"

my heart beats like crazy, i feel my cheeks heating up from how close she's standing to me.

"wh-why did it drive you crazy?"

her eyes becoming darker, filled with possessiveness. her raw voice, talks in a low tone.

"why do you think? i want you. all the times i hate seeing someone else get too close to you? i knew i was a little too much overprotective over you but," she stops, lifting my chin so i can stare into her eyes. "tonight? you ignoring me and talking to him instead? made my blood boil. i wanted to bend you against the table and fuck you right then and there so everyone can see who owns you."

i felt a heat set on my lower stomach, my panties becoming soaked for her words. i bit my lip as my stare drops to her lips.

her breath hitches. she swallows hard while closing the distance between us, trapping me against her and the wall. her lips capture mine with a kiss, her hands roaming all through my body as she settles on my throat, squeezing to remove air from my lungs. my hand wraps around her bicep, squeezing it one the choking becomes too much.

the kiss turning into a hungry, desesperate one. deepening as her tongue enters my mouth.

"you have no idea how much i want you" i moan in between kisses as her hands lower to my waist.

"if you keep saying things like that, i'll fuck you here, no time to take you to the bedroom" she says, eyes darkened with desire.

i nod as her kisses go lower to my neck, bitting, licking and leaving hickeys as i whimper.

"when i finish fucking you stupid, you're gonna go show him your hickeys and tell him who left them there" she says in a growl.

i nod, completely at her mercy.

she kneels, her hands slowly going under my skirt as she pulls it up, making me hold it.

"you and this miniskirt have been driving me insane all night" she says, her fingers teasing my folds over my panties. "look at you baby, you're soaked. you ruined this pretty pair of undies. being my whore made you this wet?" she says, her fingers still softly tracing my cunt, feeling the wetness.

"all for you, all for you. please se-mi" i beg whimpering, my puffy clit needy for stimulation.

"please what baby? use your words like the grown girl you are" she says, her eyes dark and feral, staring at the wet patch growing on my underwear.

"please fuck me."

her eyes graze all over my face as a smirk forms in her lips. i whimper as her fingers grab the elastic band of my panties. her face so close i can feel her breath against my cunt, making me clench to nothing. her tongue can't help but swipe across.

i moan, one hand holding to my skirt as the other one heads to grab her hair to pull her closer. she chuckles at my desperation, giving another flick of her tongue.

finally, she slowly begins to pull my panties down, removing them.

cold air hitting my clit, making me squeeze my thighs. her breathing getting heavier as she parts my legs, seeing the wetness covering my inner thighs.

she grabs my leg and places it on top of her shoulder, getting closer to where i need her the most. her fingers slowly teasing my clit as i give her a choked moan.

her tongue meets my clit, giving kitten licks as her fingers lower to tease my entrance. i yank her hair, trying to pull her even closer, making her stop. my eyes become watery.

"n-no wait, wh-why did you stop" i whimper, so needy.

"you're such a brat. you tease all night, you make me angry and you want me to take it to your pace?" she says, two of her fingers enter without warning in my soppy cunt, making me moan loudly. "you'll do as i say when i say it, you're my slut" she stares at me, as my eyes threaten to shut close from pleasure. i nod, making sure she knew i understood.

"lets fuck the attitude out of you, hm?" she says, her tongue meeting my clit once again as her two fingers curl inside of me with no mercy.

her tongue flicks on all the right places, fingers never leaving my inside as she thrust deeper and harder, making me clench.

"i-if you keep going i'll cum...i'm gonna cum please" i moan loudly as her pace seems to go even faster.

my head against the wall, feeling completely overwhelmed by how good she's fucking me. i can hear the squelching sounds of my pussy as she keeps thrusting, hitting that spot that makes me wanna crumble for her.

she keeps eating me, soft moans leaving her mouth, turning me on even more.

then suddenly, when i'm about to hit the climax, everything stops.

i open my eyes wide as i see her smirking playfully in between my legs.

"you're ready to take my cock princess?" her voice dripping in lust as she stood up. she grabs my hips and bites my pouty lips, kissing me once again.

she pounds with no mercy into me with her fake cock, my eyes rolling back from pleasure as i feel her hand squeeze my throat, choking me as she thrusts harder.

"you like it baby? you like my cock?" she says, heavy breathing as i mumble something that sounds like "yeah..yes..yeah"

she keeps slamming into me as her fingers leave my throath and go straight to my aching clit. she circles as i clench, showing i'm getting closer and closer to my release.

my moans get louder as she goes deeper and faster.

"you're gonna cum for me princess? i wanna feel you tight around my cock" she says, her moves never stopping.

i nod, desesperate. "se-mi.. baby i love-i love you so much.. so so much-" i cry out as my mouth opens in a "o" shape.

heat positions in my lower stomach, expanding more and more with each thrust, until it snaps.

i pull her by the neck, kissing her deeply to shut my loud moan as i cum. my cunt pulsating around her cock as she never stops moving, making my orgasm last even longer, while she hungrily returns the kiss. her hand leaving my clit and settling on my throat, choking me while she bites and pulls my lower lip.

"i love you so much princess" she says, slowly pausing her thrusts.

as she pulls away her cock leaves my insides, making me whine as i let my body go numb against the bed. my eyes closing as i feel her move from on top of me to sit besides me

her hands position behind my head, pulling me up to drink some water.

i open my eyes to see her hair sticking to her face, cheeks flustered and her eyes dilatated.

as i stop drinking and slowly sit myself in bed, she kisses me once again, her tongue exploring once again my mouth. the feeling that i'll never get tired of this sits on my chest.

"you didn't think this was all, right baby?" she smirks, breaking the kiss and grabbing my hips.

"you're such a good slut, you like this huh? being a whore for your best friend? this' what you wanted?" she teases me as her cock slams into me from behind, spanking me, leaving a red mark of her hand.

tears running my cheeks from pleasure and humiliation. the moans that came from my mouth chanting her name sounded almost pornographic.

"poor baby, all she ever wanted was to go dumb on my cock. you're taking it so good, my little slut"

she had me on all fours, rutting into me, making me take her whole lenght.

her black strap hitting places that made me scream from pleasure. my face against her pillow trying to quiet the moans she took out of me by fucking me ruthless.

"you only wanted me to fuck you dumb, fuck that bratty attitude out of you. look at you now" she said, spanking me as she went harder. "pathetic whiny baby"

one of her hands on my hips, helping her slam deeply into me, while her other hand threads my hair and pulls it, making me lift my face from the pillow with a moan.

"i dont hear you screaming princess, and neither can the idiots downstairs. i bet they want you like this, but you're all mine" she whispers in my ear bringing me closer to her chest without removing her cock, who fucks into me while my slick is covering it entirely.

she keeps pulling my hair harder and tighter. her moves becoming sloppier as her hand sneaks to play with my clit.

the circles over it and her cock thrusting non stop to my squelching cunt made me clench, the release feeling so close again.

"se-mi..se-mi i'm coming again" i cried as she kept slamming and pulling my hair so i couldn't fall against the pillow. my moans becoming louder with each thrust.

the pleasure taking all over my body, i cried as i felt myself reach the climax. she kept going with her moves, but started to slow down, softly grabbing my body to prevent me from falling hard onto the matress.

she pulled away, the feeling of nothing filling me left me whining. my body lays in bed as my breathing tries to become normal. i felt like i was passing out.

she lays besides me, moving my body to be almost resting on top of her as she kisses my head.

"i never wanted anyone else. and you're dumb for not telling me about your feelings. we could've done this sooner" she chuckles as i nod, tired.

"i wasn't flirting with nam-gyu. i always wanted you" i said with my eyes close, almost falling asleep.

"i know baby. but tomorrow he'll see the hickeys and i'll be happier" she mumbles, closing her eyes to doze off.

i hear a few knocks on the door as we both open our eyes.

"why do we get all the cleaning and you two get the sex? that's so unfair" thanos said, knocking again on the door.

we could hear him and nam-gyu mumbling as thanos laughed at him.

"a chance? "thanos snorts, teasing nam-gyu. "you're stupid if you thought se-mi would let you get an inch close to her" he says as the other guy shushed him.

se-mi scoffs as she hugs me, forcing me to close my eyes and doze off.

who knew falling for your best friend could end this good?

[matthewswifeyy]

After awhile you went quiet, and I got mean 5

Summary: Exgirlfriend!reader lives with S4!rafe. She constantly has to watch rafe treat someone better and it finally gets to her

Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4

(Reader and Jackson have been hanging out for a while)

Readers pov

It’s was 8:30 and I was getting ready to leave. I showered, shaved, and did my skincare. I was finishing putting on my lotion when I got a notification that my Uber was here.

I grabbed my purse and walked down stairs.

“In going to Rafes top!” I yelled before walking out the door.

I got in the Uber and after a 5 minute ride I was at Rafes. I walked in the door and saw rafe slouched on the couch.

“Oh I didn’t know you were coming yet.” Rafes said sitting up.

“No no sit back down rafe. We aren’t talking now idiot. I have to get ready first.” I said bluntly before running the stairs to my room.

I opened the door and sighed once I saw my room again. But the messed up bedding caught my eye.

I left the bed made.

I shook it off before walking over to my vanity. I took my time curling my hair. I did my make up while my hair cooled. Once I finished I walked over to my closet.

I chose a strapless glitter top and a black mini skirt.

I looked at the clock and it said it was now 10. I now heard chatter downstairs and music playing. I was putting on my black boots when I heard a knock on my door.

“Come in.” I said as I zipped up my boots.

The door opened and it was Jackson.

“Hey”

“Hi” I said going in for a hug.

“How has your day been.” He asked as he pulled from the hug but his hand still on my hips.

“Good! How was yours”

“Better now that I’m with you.” He said as he pressed a kiss on my shoulder.

“We should probably get down the to party” I told him.

“Alright”

I took his hand and lead him downstairs to the party. I looked around and saw rafe no where in sight.

Perfect

I lead Jackson to the drink table I grabbed a cup of fruit punch and Jackson grabbed a beer.

Jackson lead me to a couch surrounded by his friends. He sat down and pulled be down on his lap.

Rafes pov

I was sitting in the back yard with some random chick on my lap. I was with Kelce and topper talking about random stuff.

I gotta find Y/n

“Hey I’ll be right back.” I whispered into the girls ear as I patted her hip.

“Where are you going?”

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding

“The bathroom” I lied.

I got up and opened the sliding door and stepped in the crowded house. I pushed my way through the crowd looking for Y/n.

I eventually made my way to the living room and saw he sitting on Jackson’s lap as he ran his hands up and down her sides as she talked to the other girls around her.

I walked into her and put my hand on her shoulder.

“Can I talk to you” I asked her as I glared at Jackson.

“Oh I’m yeah.” She said getting up keeping her happy attitude that quickly left once away from the group.

We went up to her room and we both sat down on the bed.

“What do you want to talk about?” She said as she crossed her arms.

“I miss what we had okay.” I told her straight forward.

“It’s not happening rafe. You ended what we had the minute you cheated on me with sofia.”

“I know that I messed up but we can try again alright we always have.” I told her standing in front of her.

“No rafe it’s not happening.” She said shaking her at me.

“Look I need you Y/n.” I pleaded as I brought my hand up to her face and cupped her cheeks.

“I don’t care what you need rafe. I needed you a week ago but you didn’t care rafe. So why the fuck do you think I should care. Everything was about Sofia when I was around you and I told you how much I hated that. But you didn’t stop rafe.” She said pushing my hands off her and standing up.

“I know I was asshole Y/n but please just hear me out.”

“I’m not hearing anything out from you rafe. You lost that privilege the second you kicked me out of the only place I could stay!” She yelled.

“I know that!” I yelled back at her.

“You know what rafe I’m done with this fucking conversation because it’s going no where!” She yelled again as she opened the door. “Also did you sleep in my bed when I was gone?”

“Maybe” I said looking down at my feet.

“I’ll come get my stuff this weekend.” She said opening the door.

“Jackson is going to break your heart Y/n!” I shouted at her

“Shut the fuck up rafe.” She said before leaving the room.

I sighed and laid back onto her bed. After a few minutes I got myself back together and I went back down stairs.

From the stairs I saw her kissing Jackson.

I was now the one watching from afar.

The end.

————————————————————————

Taglist: @tincanhat @maybankslover @esposamultifandom @appl7shampoo @alistice

[zweiginator]

queen can we get more law student pat before school inevitably starts again

wait yessss send in ideas!! i was supposed to start school tomorrow but it’s snowing really bad so now class is cancelled 😛

thinking about douchebag law student patrick, his father throws money at him, bought him a house and said he’ll pay for law school—he just doesn’t want to hear him getting in trouble. wants him to make a name for himself and grow up. but patrick is still girl crazy <3 still has mommy and daddy issues and likes to party and do drugs. and the first day of fall semester he sets his eyes on you. you’re shy and pretty and he thinks it will be oh so easy to get into your pants.

you say no—you’re not messing around with any of your peers. it’s bad juju. plus, you don’t like how cocky he is.

“you’re not all that you know?”

patrick looks taken aback. but he smiles, staring down at you. “you’ll warm up to me.”

but as the semester goes on—you don’t think you will. he’s a know-it-all. it’s clear he’s never been told no in his life. he argues with everything you say just for the sake of pissing you off, of knowing you’ll yell at him later in the hallway—calling him a douchebag and telling him to stop fucking messing with you.

but it’s all his plan; he gets so hard when you yell at him. leaves the law building blushing and trying to hide his erection as he walks to the gym.

finally breaking down when you run into him after his work out; his shirt is still off and sweat is dripping down his neck. you look a mess. hair half up and windswept, your bag is falling off your shoulders and your textbooks are tumbling out of your hands but patrick is quick to help you pick them up.

“why is your shirt off?”

you take your contracts book from him. it’s easily over six pounds; for patrick, it looks like he just picked up a napkin from the ground.

“just worked out.”

“aren’t you cold?” it’s november. he should be.

“i will be after i cool off.”

and then patrick just kind of follows you— a lost puppy. you don’t really say anything. you stop at the bus stop.

“what are you doing?” he asks you as you sit on the bench.

“waiting for the bus.”

he’s since put his shirt back on—but you sort of miss the smooth skin stretched over his pecs, peppered in dark hair.

“let me take you home.”

he expects you to say no, but you just get up and follow him, awkwardly.

“i’m not good with rejection.” he says.

“i know that.”

“i’ll take you home and i won’t bother you again.”

but that makes your stomach churn.

“what if you took me to your house?” it just slips out.

he smiles. “i dunno if ill be able to help myself if you come over.”

you don’t even make it back to his. lingering glances and your fingers interlaced, patrick pulls into a random parking lot and pushes your seat back.

“what are you doing?”

he gets on his knees in front of you.

“let me eat you out.”

you’ve never had a guy be so forward. “is that what you want?”

he groans as you unbutton your jeans. “more than anything.” he helps you yank them down your legs. his pretty green eyes stare at you through thick lashes. “be mean to me while i do it.”

[shadowthesim]

♡California Dreamin'♡

pairing: bf!chris x fem!reader

summary: you and chris have big dreams, so big for your little town, so you decide to go chase after them and get on the road to LA !

a/n: there will be a second part 100% ,i just can't promise when cause I'm busy with school work rn. hope you like it (english isn't my first language so sorry if there's any mistakes) -Honey 🤍

it's summer 1965 in Texas, and you're walking back and forth in your bedroom in a quick pace, trying to keep calm while waiting. your boyfriend chris was supposed to get his driver's licence today and to come pick you up after as promised, but you couldn't wait anymore as you grew inpatient. which led you to dial his mom's number in a haste. after you spinned the rotary dial of your telephone you heard mary loo's sweet voice answering the call.

"hello?" she asked wondering who could be calling her house this early.

"good morning mrs. sturniolo! it's me" you said hurriedly. "did chris call you?"

the lady on the other line laughed at your rushed tone. "no honey, he didn't.."

but before she could finish her sentence you heard your door's bell ringing. you smiled widely and immediately informed her that he's here. you hanged the phone and quickly ran downstairs.

the second the door was opened, you jumped excitedly into chris's arms for him to catch you with delight as you wrapped your legs around his waist. you stayed like this for a minute til you raised your head from his shoulder to look at his face and asked.

"did you get it..?", chris freed one arm from behind your back and reached for his pocket to show you the long awaited license. he placed it in your hand for you to inspect closely as your eyes brightened.

"no way! that's actually real?!" you couldn't believe that you can finally drive around and travel with his car without any restrictions to hold you back.

"I know right!" he answered with a huge smile and started to spin you around in a circle. you then grabbed your suitcase and made your way out of the house together.

He answered with huge smile on his face, "I know right!" and spun you around in a circle, his eyes sparkling with joy. you giggled, feeling carefree.

a couple minutes later you grabbed your suitcase and walked out the house together, the soft sun ray embracing you as you walked side by side, sharing the excitement of the moment.

ᯓ1 year ago

"I'm sick of this" your boyfriend suddenly said that after being too focused on his guitar for the past hour. you tilted your head trying to understand what is he exactly 'sick of'. "what do you mean?"

"I mean.. all of this, i just know that my songs deserve so much more than that" and he was right. chris loved singing more than anything else, and playing his music in those small parties was never gonna be enough, and almost no one listened to his tapes. he deserved so much more recognition.

"so does you love" chris rested his hand on your shoulder and looked in your eyes trying to read your expression. you loved to act since your childhood.acting isn't just a passion, it's your home and the stage is when you truly come alive. "i know..."

"let's leave then!", at first you laughed, thinking that he was only joking. but his determined look convinced you otherwise. your small town felt stifling, unable to contain your big dreams.

"we're meant for more" chris said reassuring you. so you decided to work hard and save money to afford a car nice enough to take you to California.

ᯓback to the present

you settled in the passenger seat next to chris in his red cabriolet who's starting the engine as you mentally checked everything you needed to grab, making sure that you didn't forget anything that's important.

you're all set and ready for your long awaited journey. and of course chris had to get his cassette, so you inserted your favorite track tape, blasting yours and chris's favorite song in the car. eight days a week by the beatles.

"did you bribe the photographer?" you asked holding chris's driver's license. "what?"

"how can someone look this good in a photo?" he started laughing at your comment. and that was how the rest of the night went, exchanging laughter and screaming songs lyrics. it was all fine for the next couple hours until chris realized that the car needs fuel, so you started to look around for a close gas station and maybe find a place to spend the night at.

deviders by: mee!! feel free to use it if you want but tag me please if you did <3

honey's masterlist ♡

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@shadowthesim 🪄

[sophieinwonderland]

Here's a fun thread from the comments!

This is what we call the "I know you are, but what am I." It's a popular argument among 6-year-olds. The thing about this is that it's ultimately just vague feelings with no actual facts behind them.

You are going to notice these same themes a lot with @ilovexreaderfanfics' replies. A vague sense of "Democrats are the ones who ACTUALLY do this, not us" without any specific examples.

See what I mean!

Before going further, let me stop to cite my own sources.

Donald Trump seems to perform best with people who either never went to college, or went to college and dropped out before graduating.

The more educated someone is, the more likely they are to vote Democrat. This has been behind Republicans seeking to defund the department of education, and their targeting of student loan forgiveness programs. Because to Republicans, there is no threat greater than an educated population.

And finally, comes this. Once again, feelings over facts. A vague general sentiment that "Democrats aren't respectful" with no examples. No sources. No basis in reality.

But since you brought it up, @ilovexreaderfanfics...

Let's talk about respect!

President Jimmy Carter passed.

Tradition holds that flags be at half-staff for 30 days after the death of a President of the United States.

This is how Convicted Felon Donald Trump feels about respecting a great former president who passed.

And before anyone makes the mistake of believing anything Trump says, this is NOT the first time this has happened.

The flags were lowered during Nixon's second inauguration after Truman passed.

The flags were flown at half-staff during President Richard Nixon’s inauguration for his second term on Jan. 20, 1973, due to him having lowered them earlier for the death of former President Harry S. Truman on Dec. 26, 1972.

Trump is complaining about something that is normal to rile up an uneducated base that he knows will believe anything he says.

He's complaining about honoring a deceased former President because it will take attention away from himself.

So... Who do Republicans actually respect?

Our troops? Certainly not POWs.

On John McCain's military record, Trump once said "he's not a war hero. He's a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren't captured."

Our kids? Trump used his platform to cyberbully a teenage girl because he was jealous of her being person of the year.

Pretending that Republicans are a party of respect is laughable.

The reality is that Republicans are the party of displaying dick pics of the children of their political enemies.

They're the party that introduced introduced a bathroom bill at congress specifically to spite the first openly transwoman elected to the House, and the American People who voted for her.

I could go on all day.

But I think this demonstrates pretty well that Republicans are the ones who will demand that they be respected, yet have no interest in respecting others.

In a way, their fictional "war on Christmas" embodies everything wrong with their beliefs.

Republicans demand the "respect" of having their holiday and their religion acknowledged by name everywhere by everyone.

When people choose to use inclusive greetings that acknowledge the many different holidays around the season, Republicans view respecting others as disrespecting them.

To the Republican, respect is a one way street. It's something meant to be given to them and literally no one else. Something they, and they alone, are entitled to.

How to trigger Republicans, sysmeds and other bigots in 1 easy steps

Step 1: Post facts with sources

That's literally it.

If you threaten them or call them names, they will feel vindicated in their persecution complexes. But if you prove them wrong with facts, they will block you instantly because being proven wrong bruises their ego and they can't cope with it.

If you're angry at bigots and want to hurt them, I promise that nothing will inflict more emotional damage than calmly explaining why they're wrong with sources to back it up.

[mattsobvimyfav]

neighbors (Matthew Sturniolo)

pt.3

I woke up around nine, sunlight peeking through the curtains and illuminating my room. My head felt heavy from the weight of everything that had happened the night before. I lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, letting the stillness of the morning wash over me.

But I couldn’t stay in bed. I needed air—space to clear my head.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, slipping on a pair of shorts and one of my oversized sweatshirts. My reflection in the mirror was a little disheveled, but I didn’t care. 

Grabbing my keys and my water bottle, I made my way outside. The air was crisp and the sun was beating down. I climbed into my Bronco, rolling down the windows as I sat in the driver’s seat, taking a deep breath. The familiar smell of the car and the freedom it represented made me feel a little better.

Plugging in my phone, I scrolled through my playlist and hit play on Solo by Frank Ocean. I let the music seep into my bones.

With no destination in mind, I pulled out of the driveway, the sound of the tires crunching on the gravel following me. The open road stretched ahead, inviting me to leave everything behind for a little while.

The wind whipped through the open windows as I drove, the warm morning sun casting a golden glow over everything. The city streets blurred into winding backroads. The lyrics of the song resonated with me as I thought about everything.

This was what I needed: time to breathe, to process, to feel without interruption. With every mile, it felt like I was peeling back another layer of the heaviness that had settled in my chest.

After about two hours of driving, singing loudly to music, and letting the wind whip through my hair, I finally made my way back home. My body was physically tired but mentally a bit lighter. Parking my Bronco in the driveway, I turned off the car, letting the silence settle around me for a moment. Then I grabbed my keys, locked the car, and headed inside.

Charlie was sprawled on the couch with her phone in hand, a bowl of cereal balanced on her lap. She glanced up as I walked in. “Hey. You disappeared. Where’d you go?”

I sighed, tossing my keys onto the counter and sitting down next to her. “I needed to clear my head. But, I have a lot to tell you.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Oh no, what now?”

I hesitated, unsure of how to start, but then the words just spilled out. I told her about everything—how Chris had pulled me away at the party, how Matt showed up, the fight we had, and the tattoo. I even mentioned Leo and how he’d gotten pissed at me for being around Matt again.

Charlie’s expression changed as I spoke, going from shock to confusion to anger. When I finished, she set her cereal bowl down hard on the coffee table.

“Wait, hold up,” she said, her voice sharp. “Chris came to you? Why the fuck didn’t he come to me? I’m the one he hurt. I’m the one who was in a relationship with him, not you!”

“Charlie—”

“No, seriously,” she interrupted, her voice rising. “Why has he always gone to you? What’s so special about you that he thinks he can skip me and run straight to you? It’s like he doesn’t even care about me.”

Her words stung, even though I knew she didn’t mean them the way they sounded. “That’s not fair,” I said, my tone defensive. “I didn’t ask for him to come to me. I didn’t even want to talk to him. But it happened.”

Charlie scoffed, crossing her arms. “It just feels like he’s always chosen you over me. Even now, after all this time, I’m still second to you.”

“That’s not true,” I said, crossing my arms. 

But she was already standing up, shaking her head. “I just need a minute,” she muttered before heading to her room and slamming the door behind her.

I sat there for a moment, staring at the empty space she’d left behind, before I stood up and went to my room. My chest felt heavy again, like I’d undone all the progress I’d made on my drive. I curled up on my bed, hugging a pillow to my chest.

After what felt like forever, there was a soft knock at my door.

“Come in,” I said quietly, sitting up.

Charlie peeked her head in, her expression apologetic. “Hey,” she said, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair of me.”

I shrugged, trying to play it off. “You were upset. I get it.”

“No,” she said firmly, sitting down on the edge of my bed. “You didn’t deserve that. I know Chris going to you isn’t your fault. I think I’m just still so hurt by everything, and when I hear his name, I… I lost it. But I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

I gave her a small smile. “It’s okay.”

She nodded, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “You’re my best friend, and I don’t want to fight with you. Especially not over him.”

I reached out and pulled her into a hug. “Same. We’ve been through too much to let this come between us.”

She hugged me back tightly, and for the first time that day, I felt like things might be okay again.

After our little heart-to-heart, Charlie and I made our way back to the living room. The tension had lifted, and we were determined to get back on track. The sun was streaming through the windows, casting a soft glow over the room as we plopped down on the couch.

Charlie grabbed her laptop and opened our shared notes app. “Alright,” she said, her voice bright again. “We need to film something today for monday.”

I nodded, leaning back into the couch cushions. “Agreed. What ideas do we have?”

She scrolled through the list. “Okay, we’ve got a few options. A Q&A, a house update, maybe a ‘Day in the Life’ since we just got settled in LA, or…” She paused, squinting at the screen. “Oh! This one could be fun. A ‘Truth or Drink’ video.”

I raised an eyebrow. “That’s a bold one.”

Charlie grinned mischievously. “Exactly. We haven’t done anything like this in a while, and you know the fans eat that up.”

I laughed. “Yeah, because they want to know all our dirt. But, hey, if we’re doing it, we need to go all in. Like, actual questions.”

“Of course,” Charlie said, already typing into her phone to post on our Instagram story: ‘Filming a Truth or Drink! Ask us anything!’ She hit send and looked up at me. “There.”

I shook my head, smiling. “You’re dangerous.”

She shrugged. “It’s part of my charm. But if we do this, we need to be ready to spill, because you know they’re gonna ask about the triplets.”

The mention of them made my stomach flip, but I nodded. “We’ll handle it. We always do.”

“Okay, so Truth or Drink is on the table,” Charlie said. “What else?”

I thought for a moment. “We could also do something more chill, like a ‘How We Decorated Our House’ video. Walk through all the furniture we picked out, talk about why we chose certain things.”

“That’s a solid backup,” she agreed. “Or maybe a mini haul of the stuff we’ve bought so far?”

“Yeah, but let’s save the haul for when we’re fully set up. They will love a big reveal once everything’s perfect.”

“True,” she said, jotting it down. She looked up at me, smirking. “Okay, so Truth or Drink it is?”

I took a deep breath. “Let’s do it. But if they ask about Matt or Chris, I’m drinking.”

Charlie laughed. “Deal.”

With that, we grabbed our cameras and started setting up the living room for filming. Whatever questions came our way, we’d answer them or take a shot. 

A couple of hours later, after letting the questions roll in on Instagram, Charlie and I sat in the living room, ready to face these questions. The coffee table was set up with an array of small shot glasses, a bottle of vodka, a bottle of tequila, and a few backup drinks for when we inevitably chickened out of answering.

The camera was already rolling as Charlie pressed record on our camera. “Alright, guys,” she said, leaning into the camera with a wide grin. “Welcome back to the channel! Today, we are playing Truth or Drink! We asked you guys to send in your questions, and let me tell you—y’all delivered.”

I laughed, leaning into the frame. “Of course they did. You guys are literally ruthless, but we love you for it. So, the rules are simple. We either answer the question, no matter how wild it is, or we take a shot.”

“Pray for us,” Charlie added dramatically.

We both grabbed our phones to pull up the questions. Charlie glanced at the first one and snorted. “Okay, we’re starting strong. ‘Who was your last text from, and what did it say?’”

“Oh, that’s easy,” I said, unlocking my phone. “It was Leonard. He texted, ‘Call me when you’re free.’”

“Cute,” Charlie teased, giving me a pointed look. “Mine was from my mom. She sent a picture of her dog wearing a sweater.”

We answered a few more light questions before things started heating up. Charlie read the next one aloud, her eyebrows shooting up. “Alright, this person did not hold back. ‘If the triplets showed up at your door tomorrow and asked to be friends again, would you?’”

I started laughing hysterically. I reached for the tequila without hesitation, pouring myself a shot. “Cheers,” I said, downing it in one go.

Charlie looked at me, her expression unreadable, before pouring her own shot. “Yeah, no comment.” She winced as the tequila went down.

The fans were going to lose their minds over that one.

We moved on, answering a mix of funny and serious questions. “What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done on a date?” “What’s one thing you regret doing in college?” “Have you ever ghosted someone?”

Then came another heavy hitter. Charlie read it aloud, her tone cautious. “Who was the last person you thought about before falling asleep last night?”

I froze for a moment, biting my lip. “Pass,” I said quickly, pouring another shot and ignoring the way Charlie raised an eyebrow at me.

“Fair,” she said, taking a sip of her drink instead of answering.

We both knew who it was, and I hated that it was still true.

As we were nearing the end of the game, Charlie scrolled through her phone, her eyes suddenly widening. “Oh, wow,” she said, looking at me cautiously.

“What?” I asked, already nervous by her tone.

She hesitated, glancing at the camera before reading the question aloud. “This one’s for you, Y/N. ‘If Matt asked to talk one-on-one, would you hear him out?’”

My stomach twisted as the name hit the air, and I couldn’t stop the bitter laugh that escaped me.

“Wow, they’re really trying to get me canceled today,” I said, reaching for the vodka and pouring a shot.

Charlie watched me carefully as I raised the glass. “You don’t want to answer?” she asked, her tone softer than usual.

“Nope,” I said shortly before downing the shot. The burn of the vodka was nothing compared to the heat in my chest.

I slammed the glass down on the table and looked straight into the camera. “Next question.”

Charlie leaned into the camera for the outro. “That was…intense,” she said with a laugh. “Thank you guys for sending in your questions and for, you know, trying to ruin our lives.”

“Seriously,” I added with a grin. “We love you guys, even if you’re out to expose us. Make sure to like, comment, and subscribe, and we’ll see you in the next video!”

“Byeee!” Charlie said, throwing up a hand as I hit stop on the camera.

As we cleaned up the table, I couldn’t stop replaying some of the questions in my mind—especially the ones about the triplets. It was clear they weren’t as out of our lives as we wanted them to be.

The evening was quiet, the hum of the TV playing softly as Charlie and I sat on the couch. My laptop was propped open on the coffee table, mid-edit from earlier in the day, but I needed a break. Scrolling aimlessly through TikTok, I stumbled across something that made my chest tighten.

An edit.

An edit of me and Matt.

The opening chords of “Leaving Tonight” by The Neighbourhood played over the montage, and I felt frozen in place. Clips of us from years ago flashed across the screen—old moments I had buried deep. His smile, my laugh, the way we’d look at each other like no one else in the room mattered.

The caption read: “I wonder if they’ll get back together now that she’s in LA again.”

I stared at the video, unable to look away. My thumb hovered over the screen, debating if I should keep watching or just scroll past. The song choice was almost too much to bear—the haunting melody felt like it was written for us.

“What are you looking at?” Charlie asked, noticing the change in my expression.

“Nothing,” I replied quickly, locking my phone and setting it down on the cushion beside me.

Charlie wasn’t convinced. “Y/N,” she said, her voice firm.

I hesitated but finally relented. Picking up my phone, I unlocked it and handed it over to her. She watched the video, her eyes narrowing as it replayed.

“For fuck’s sake,” she muttered, shoving the phone back to me. “Why can’t people just let it go? It’s been years.”

“I don’t know,” I whispered, staring at the dark screen of my phone. 

“That’s because people don’t see the full picture,” Charlie said, her voice full of frustration. “They don’t see what it was like for us. For you. They just see some perfect story that they want to tie up with a bow, like you haven’t moved on. Like you don’t have your own life now.”

I nodded, but the weight of it all felt suffocating. Seeing that video, hearing that song—it brought back emotions I didn’t want to feel again.

“I hate this,” I admitted, my voice cracking.

Charlie placed a hand on my shoulder, grounding me. “Hey, it’s just a dumb edit. It doesn’t mean anything. You’re here now. You’ve built a life without him, and you don’t owe anyone a damn thing.”

Her words were comforting, but they didn’t erase the ache in my chest. I tossed my phone onto the coffee table, leaning back into the couch.

“I just need to stop thinking about it,” I said finally.

“Then let’s focus on something else,” Charlie said, grabbing the remote. “Trash TV or true crime?”

“Trash TV,” I said with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

As the screen filled with some ridiculous reality show, I let myself lean into the comfort of Charlie’s presence. But in the back of my mind, the haunting melody of “Leaving Tonight” kept playing, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that the past wasn’t quite done with me yet.

Monday had been a productive day so far. Charlie and I spent the morning wrapping up the final touches on our latest video, and by mid-afternoon, it was live for the world to see. The comments were already rolling in, a mix of love and curiosity. I ignored anything that even hinted at the triplets—my peace wasn’t worth the energy.

I was lying on the couch, scrolling through my phone and thinking about dinner when my screen lit up with a text from an unsaved number:

“You wouldn’t hear me out?”

I froze, my stomach sinking. I didn’t need to ask who it was. I knew. My thumb hovered over the screen, debating whether to ignore it or respond. Against my better judgment, I typed back:

“Never in a million years.”

I stared at the screen, my pulse pounding as the message sent. A part of me felt satisfied—like I was reclaiming my boundaries—but another part of me felt raw and exposed.

The dots indicating a reply popped up almost immediately. I locked my phone before the response could come through and tossed it onto the cushion next to me like it was a live grenade.

“What’s up?” Charlie asked, looking up from her laptop across the room.

“Nothing,” I lied, standing up and stretching. “Thinking about dinner. Pizza okay?”

“Works for me,” she said, but her eyes narrowed slightly, like she didn’t quite believe me.

tag-

@tbfaptbfae @ch0llies @2muchofaslvt @rockstarchr1s @simply-a-simper @mattscore @watercolorskyy @urfungi @sturnsvelocity @mattsturnii @christmastreecake @izzylovesmatt @larnieboox88 @christophersstar @realuvrrr @namelesssav

[miwiheroes]

Dropping Byler Evidence Every Day Until Season 5

Day 2 - Queercoding Jokes from the writers

I could have done three separate posts on these but you guys deserve a treat! So here are three subtle jokes that the writers make about Mike being gay to queercode him. Jokes are made about men being gay a lot in tv shows, especially ones in the 2010s, however, the ‘subtlety’ of these ones just show that they were made for queer people to pick up on. Or they are subtle clues that after S5, we are meant to look back on and laugh.

1. “El? Sorry, not interested.”

Could have easily said: Sorry, wrong number.

Could have easily said: Damn it.

Stuff like this makes me feel insane but seriously i think its really funny from my perspective (even if it wasn't intentional but like, the writers aren't THIS dumb to put in something like this without knowing how it sounds, right?)

2. "I have an idea. Boys only."

This one just a lil silly and when ppl first started to take this as a queer coded line I was literally like cmon it's probably not that deep. But then again, double meanings do exist and saying stuff like this that can be easily explained away is often used to subtly nod towards something rather than just outright joking about it. This would be to make it so the plot point is still a surprise, but would make sense on a rewatch.

Also, I only really saw this as queer coding when I remembered that Will saying 'A day free of girls' is obviously queer coding as well, and that too is a little double meaning nod towards his sexuality. So why can't it be for Mike- *gunshots*

3. "Straight... straight..." "Right on the money, as I said." "It just doesn't make sense."

Bear in mind this is literally after the van scene where Jonathan sees Mike staring at Will in the rearview mirror from a third-party perspective (meaning from Will's pov he has no clue Mike has any feelings towards him).

I view this line, and really really 'random' ass way of writing what they're trying to figure out, as a joke about the fact that the audience (who are also a third-party perspective to the van scene) have no idea what the hell Mike is thinking. We still have no idea if he knows the painting is really from Will, but we know that Will is talking about himself. And from the way Mike looks at Will, the audience and Jonathan are conflicted because this whole time Mike's been with El ('straight... straight'), and Mike claims to have feelings towards her ('right on the money as i said').

But now it 'doesn't make sense'.

This was a silly one ngl but tomorrow's might be more serious i promise

[drdemonprince]

I think think about your piece How to Go Places Alone And Not Feel Like A Freak Looser (or something to that affect) quite often.

While it is uncomfortable, tiring, nerve wracking, to feel like or be the odd one out, I am at least used to the feeling. It takes nerve but (especially as a kid/teen) have always gone to things alone and, once I get over myself, enjoy not caring what anyone thinks about my presence.

As an (ever transsexualizing >:) adult, I am getting back into doing & dressing however I want in public (embarrassing yourself is inevitable, might as well enjoy life!). This is a funner, freer, outlook, but I hoped being more myself would help me find my people.

I’m used to the awful feeling of being an alien freak looser (real or imagined) so I can hype myself up to be in my own world when I’m out. But I wonder if doing this, and choosing events based on interest instead of demographics or friendship, reinforces my felling of disconnect with people. It’s easier to accept, and dress like, I’ll always stick out (be alone) than it is to imagine mimicking those around me.

I went to an explicitly cruisey new years night and instead of studying the crowd intensely trying to fit in, wore my shiny platforms, smiled at people, and danced just for the fun of it. Feeling good about myself and enjoying my experience requires an ‘eh fuck ‘em’ attitude. I can enjoy being in public seeing all my fellow earthlings but it does not feel social. And I realize, my time there felt anything but sexy. I wasn’t about to walz into the darkroom (let’s walk before we run), but I hate that I couldn’t feel comfortable in this place I’ve always wanted to be.

I return to the same questions everywhere I go: I can exist, but how am I supposed to learn the codes of a space when I can’t study (ruminate) from afar?

How could I ever be social when (even joyous and embodied) I can’t get out of my own head?

How do you know when it’s time to listen to your gut and when to play into a social game?

I understand what you mean about the duality between doing your own thing in your own little alien bubble and actively placing effort into connecting with the people around you (which often feels like it requires masking).

But, from my perspective, both of those are strategies for dealing with social overwhelm -- one is more dissociative, and the other's more compensatory. Both of them reflect a discomfort with the people in the space. And they're both perfectly reasonable ways to deal with such feelings! But the way to move forward, at least in my experience, is to continue attending events until you attain enough familiarity with them that you actually start feeling more comfortable.

You said you didn't feel sexy at this cruisy party, and certainly weren't ready to venture into the dark room. That's fine! You can work your way up in whatever order of activities is least intimidating to most intimidating to you.

The first few times that I go to a club, I need anywhere from a few minutes to an hour to get warmed up enough to really dance on the floor and take up a ton of space and make weird gestures. I spend a lot of time lurking in the corner or reading a book at the bar at first. After I've been there a number of times, I know the deal of the space better, recognize a few people, maybe have developed a rapport with the door guy or a regular, and it gets easier to branch out and feel more at ease in my skin. People intuit this and approach me more often when I'm feeling more comfortable, and my reactions have fewer exit ramps built into them (one of my protective instincts is to throw out a lot of conversation-enders that make people feel rejected, lmaoo good one me).

The same general principles I've described here can apply to any new social challenge, including a bar with a backroom where people are fucking. Show up again. Do your thing. Maybe find a spot to post up and observe, since you mentioned an interest in doing that. Bring a book or some knitting if you want, and wear whatever outfit helps you feel comfortable and good with yourself. The first few times you do all this, people may get strong "I'm Doing My Own Thing Leave Me Alone" vibes from you, as they often do from Autistics, and that's fine. You're still learning and acclimating from being there. After a couple of tries, head into that back room. It's not as exciting as you think it's gonna be. You might get to watch some fucking or you might just see a bunch of guys pacing around who are just as awkward as you feel that you are. But then you'll know what it's like. And then you just keep showing up, and observing and participating in small ways (watching is participation in a sex club!), and you'll get steadily more involved in the space and connected to the people each time that you do.

I've been going to pet patrol nights for a long time and I've only just now gotten to the point where I can chat up random people and get into hookups relatively easily, instead of just standing around mutely hoping someone will approach me. Bringing friends has helped a ton to relax me and make me seem more approachable to others, too, so you could try that!

for anyone wondering here's the full piece

[hvnlygrl]

Hey girl! I wanted to send in a Rafe request for the angst prompt #7: accidentally/drunkenly confessing feelings and yes it’s for the celebration! But it’s Rafe that confesses his feelings for the reader even though she’s a pogue but he’s always had a soft spot for her🤍

drunken confession.

pairing — rafe cameron x pogue!fem!reader

word count — 0.7k

synopsis — rafe gets drunk and starts spilling the beans on his love for you.

notes — hi babe! i love this sm he would be such a doofus honestly.

join my follower celebration — until feb. 3rd!

you watched rafe down shot after shot, part of you feeling a little concerned for his well being for the rest of the night, and the other part of you just wanting to focus on your friends and mind your business.

but rafe was your friend too, you reminded yourself. you’d grown a soft spot for the kook after a party one night, one very similar to this one, in fact. jj loved to tease you and say that the feelings you harbored were much more than platonic, and you constantly denied his statement. but you knew he was right.

you also knew, however, that rafe cameron would never be caught dead dating a pogue. so any and all thoughts and feelings that were more than platonic for rafe got locked away to protect your own well being. the last thing you needed was the boys getting on your ass for being in love with a kook, or for topper and kelce to antagonize you for being a nasty pogue that nobody, especially rafe, would ever love.

and yet here you were, stuffing him into the passenger seat of your car because he’d had far too many to drink.

“how you feelin’ buddy?” you hum softly, your voice sounding like music to rafe’s ears. “let me know if you wanna throw up, okay?”

he just groaned in response, your words nearly triggering his gag response. “drive slow,” he keeps his eyes closed tightly as he takes deep breaths.

“you got it,” you huff through a laugh, driving as safely and steadily as you could while you brought him back to your house. you knew ward would flip his shit if rafe got brought home by a pogue while drunk like that and you wanted to protect him from that shitshow as much as possible.

by the time you got him to your house, he sighed desperately as he crawled into your bed, trashcan ready by his side. “y/n?” he called out, eyes trying to steady themselves to look at you.

“what’s up?” you call back with a sweet smile on your face, having absolutely no problem taking care of him in this vulnerable state. honestly, you felt honored that he trusted and asked for you specifically.

“i love you,” his voice is shaky and you almost don’t hear him with how quietly he says it.

you’re sure he doesn’t mean it in the way you want him too, so you brush him off with a soft laugh and allow your hand to rub his back soothingly. “love you too, rafe.”

“no,” he groans as he rolls to face you better, “i love you. like i know i shouldn’t cause you’re a pogue or whatever the fuck, but i love you and i can't stop thinking about you when i'm not with you. i want us to be more than this.”

you blink at him in shock, your face clad in an expression he’s unable to read that nearly sends him face first into the trashcan. he’s almost positive he ruined everything.

“are you being serious right now, rafe?”

“yes, i’m sick of walking on eggshells, i just-“ he sighs deeply, “i can't even look at other girls anymore because none of them are you.”

“i love you too, rafe,” you could cry at the confession, eyes watering and hands trembling, “i have for a while now. i just didn’t think you would feel the same way.”

“you really couldn’t tell?” he raises a brow at you.

“i guess i was in denial,” you shrug with a breathy laugh. “what do we do now?”

“well, i guess now i ask you to be my girlfriend,” rafe smiles at you, his cheeks flushed and his eyes glossy from the alcohol.

“you sure you don’t wanna wait until you’re not drunk anymore?”

“i won’t regret it, i promise,” he holds a pinky out to you, gesturing for you to hook yours with his.

you do, and he brings it up to his lips, kissing it gently.

“y/n l/n, will you be my girlfriend?”

“rafe cameron, i absolutely will.”

he sits up slowly as to not upset his stomach, and kisses you gently, one hand cupping the side of your face as the other one steadies him. he pulls away just enough to whisper, “thank you for taking care of me.”

“i always will,” you peck his lips before checking the time. “you hungry ? some places are still open, i could run and grab you something.”

“god, you’re an angel, woman.”

-> back to masterlist