#but just the thought of mobius WAITING because he doesn’t know how to move forward is tragically beautiful to me

[autumnoficarus]

the desperate way i need the continuation of mobius’ story to be filmed like that one scene in the twilight series with a slow panning circle around mobius as he stands right where we left off while seasons change around him

[xtinyslip]

lcvenderhcze​:

“DO NOT TALK ABOUT MY SON, UNLESS YOU WISH TO SEE WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF. AGAIN.” oh, he was not angry. in fact, he was calmer than he had been in a very long time and right now, perhaps that was what should scare the other. after all - if he was this calm, who was to say that he could not be planning the other’s demise? oh, he was. he very much was. ever since he had implied that there was something going on between him and ravonna - he had not forgotten that. he was never going to forget that, as far as he was concerned. he had never planned on letting him get away with it – not really. no, he had been bidding his time and letting him and his god of mischief boyfriend think that they were safe. well, loki was, because he was indeed a man of his word, but.. the other? not so much. it wouldn’t be proper to let him live after all that he had said, was it? NO, HE HAD KILLED PEOPLE FOR LESS IN THE PAST. because they bored him. because he had been annoyed. “certainly will, once i told her that i came here to put you in line. she’s a fan of order - my wife. but then again, if you are as close to her as you said that you were - you already know that, no?” venom in his voice, he moved forward a little bit, hands clenched into fists by his side. oh, right now - he was simply waiting for a wrong word from the other. “and you’ve had it done to you, so i imagine you’re quite familiar with the sensation? good. keep it mind. perhaps it will help you mind your tongue.” aiming the stick at the other’s neck, he smiled. it wasn’t a friendly smile by any means - no, it was that of a predator, about to close in on his prey. “careful now. were i to push this button and turn this on.. there would be nothing left of you to find. no one would know where you went. and oh.. poor loki doesn’t remember how to find you, does he? you’d just be left to wander the void again, with no one to bring you out. SHAME.” he laughed, keeping the stick against the other’s neck. “or what? you’re going to tell on me? to who, exactly? NO ONE CARES. and see, agent mobius - i did say that your boyfriend’s life would be spared if he were to save my son and.. i meant it. a life for a life. i am a man of my word, but.. i never specified anything about you. no. it would not be proper to let you live after everything you said, would it? NO, YOU BOTHER ME. I DON’T LIKE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME SECOND QUESTION THINGS. so… you can either do as i said and live to see loki another day or.. you can leave, here and now. what’s it going to be? as i said, i do have to be home for dinner quite shortly, so.. tick tock. make your choice.” he smiled. ah. interesting. “wonderful. his name is scott lang. also known as ant-man. he’s another one who pushed me.”

@xtinyslip

“hey. he’s a kid i don’t wish him any harm… that’s not what i was saying.” mobius wasn’t interested in starting any of this again. the less he saw of kang and his entire family at this point then the better. he was trying to live his life here, mobius wanted to be left alone to do his own thing for once and to actually live. he hadn’t had the chance to do that yet and what chance he had, had been wiped from memories. “don’t have to remind me of that. she was my boss for how long?” too long and all because of a stupid comment he hadn’t even meant, he knew the other had something to hold over him — other than just the threat of death and he hated that. he hated that he’d just handed that over. “we’re not close. we were never— we never what you think. i was pissed, i shouldn’t have said it. im sorry. we never.” the tva was a lonely place and sure, he’d honestly thought the world of ravonna at the time. maybe, his thoughts had gone there once or twice but they never actually did. “once was more than enough. you made your point.” mobius couldn’t move his eyes from the pruner now. the stick was to close, he could almost feel it tickling his skin but he knew he was just being paranoid. that wasn’t the case or he’d be gone. “please be careful with that thing.” it seemed everything he said pissed this guy off, it said more about kang in his opinion but he would remain silent for now. he didn’t want to be lost to the void again. mobius’ hands were raised to show he wasn’t going to try anything. not that he could against this asshole anyway. “i told you i was being a dick. you don’t have to second guess anything. there was nothing! i swear, alright? nothing! ask loki i told him the same and i wouldn’t lie.” he could feel himself sweating, it was the simple fact that this could be it. loki would never know what happened… would he think he left him on purpose? no, he couldn’t let that happen. “scott —“ of course, he’d heard of the other and from what mobius had learned was that he was harmless. “that idiot?” he didn’t want to have to be the one to do this, he closed his eyes for a moment and nodded. “I’ll do it. alright? I’ll do it. when do you want this done by?” @lcvenderhcze

[lokust]

A God doesn’t Giggle

LMAO HEY I’M BACK.

I was rather inactive for a few days because I had a violent allergic reaction to 75mgs of a new medication, but I’m better now!

(Also, I don’t ever post any stories, but I wrote this one knowing I was gonna post it so I was rather nervous. My apologies if it seems forced or too short. I felt the pressure with this one.)

————————-

The question Mobius often asked himself was ‘How does one deal with the God of Mischief?’.

But the question he had asked himself earlier was ‘Oh shit, how do I deal with the God of Mischief when I’ve made him so genuinely upset that he won’t even cause any mischief?’.

Loki was incredibly upset, with Mobius specifically. For once in his life, Loki was genuine, he was honest… and Mobius brushed him off, accusing him of lying and throwing him in a loop where he was reminded over and over again that he was worthless and undeserving of love.

Mobius had done everything he could think of to cheer Loki up; from telling him the exact opposite of what Sif had told him to searching through his fondest memories and putting him in each and every happy memory he could simulate. None of it was enough, and Loki was still hurt.

“Come on, Mobius”, he said to himself, still searching through Loki’s memories and flipping through all of his files, “If you had just listened to him for once…”. He had left Loki in a simulation of a memory where Frigga had taught him his favorite spells and tricks, hoping it would be enough to at least get a smile from the God.

He had been watching the best memories of Loki’s life for what felt like hours, but he was willing to watch for 48 hours more if it meant finding a solution to the pain he’d caused. He clicked and forwarded through some memory Loki had with Thor back on Asgard.

He had almost disregarded it entirely, but something about the tone in Loki’s voice caught his attention. It was a nervous tone, yet somehow… playful? Mobius couldn’t quite describe.

“Thor… Thor, get away from me. Okay. I am much too old for these antics now”.

Mobius watched intently, observing the interaction between the two as closely as he could manage.

“Oh come on, little brother! It’s never failed to get you out of these moods before!”

Yes. Yes, this is what Mobius needed. This was the solution.

Suddenly a shrill screech filled the small room as Thor had seemingly attacked his brother.

Mobius sighed in disappointment, “Well, that blows. I can’t wrestle him back to happiness”.

He got ready to start searching again, until the loud laughter of two Gods filled the room instead.

Mobius watched as Loki writhed in his brother’s arms, laughing unwillingly as he tried to escape the hands that clawed at his sides and ribs while Thor simply laughed at the sounds he was producing from his brother.

Mobius’s eyes lit up, finally shutting it down and turning to walk out of the room, “Damn it, Thor, you’re a genius”.

—

——

Loki sat on his bed beside his mother, sulking as he listened to her explain her magic to him.

The fireworks. She was teaching him how to make the fireworks, just in the palm of his hand. It was his favorite trick to do, and his favorite one to watch her do as well.

He’d been there with her for hours, relearning all of her favorite spells, but he couldn’t stop the thought in the back of his mind, reminding him she’d be gone and he’d be indirectly at fault.

He wanted to cry, and he could have, but suddenly, she was gone, and a golden doorway opened up to the left of him as Mobius stepped into the memory.

“Alright, Loki, I’ve got two things to say to you”.

Loki rolled his eyes with a scoff, “Grand, but I’ve got nothing to say to you, Mobius. Couldn’t you have just left me here with my mother?”. The trickster crossed his arms against his chest, looking away from Mobius with a scowl.

The blond just sighed, “Alright, I deserve that, I really do, but just hear me out, alright?”, he said, approaching the taller man carefully.

“I’m sorry, Loki. Alright? I am truly, horribly sorry. I should’ve believed you. I should’ve listened to you, and I definitely shouldn’t have thrown you back in that loop with Lady Sif. You didn’t deserve that, and I, Mobius M. Mobius, am sorry”, he spoke genuinely, carefully placing a hand on Loki’s shoulder as he sat beside him.

Loki furrowed his eyebrows, glancing at Mobius from the corner of his eye, “I thought you had two things to say- Wait a moment… Mobius M. Mobius? Is your name Mobius Mobius Mobius?”

The agent sighed, “That’s not the point, and I do have one other thing to say, alright?”

Loki gave a simple nod, a silent signal to continue, but he didn’t like the smile that was slowly growing on Mobius’s face.

“I didn’t know you were ticklish”.

Loki’s eyes widened as he pulled away from Mobius, standing up and crossing the room immediately, “I… I’m not. That’s ridiculous. I never have been”.

Mobius just smiled, “Wrong”.

The God grumbled at the agent, “Alright fine. I grew out of it”.

The shorter man looked like he was having a field day, “Wrong again”, he said, standing up to approach his friend.

Loki scowled at him, “Mobius, this collar may keep me from using my powers, but it won’t keep me from biting all of your fingers off if you get any closer to me”.

The agent hissed as he looked down at his hand, “Ouch, that one really does sound painful, but how about this, alright? You stop sulking around like an angry little dog, and maybe I won’t tickle you, deal?”

The God backed away as Mobius came closer and closer to him, but suddenly he found himself backed into a wall with Mobius so close he was practically pinned in place. He huffed at his blond friend, but simply stayed silent.

Mobius shrugged, “Alright, fine… but you asked for this”.

Suddenly, Mobius had Loki’s arms pinned above his head, the taller of the two struggling in place as Mobius fought to get both of his wrists in one hand.

“Why are you fighting it so hard? I thought you said you weren’t ticklish?”, he gasped suddenly as if he was shocked, “Did you… Did you lie to me, Loki? I can’t believe you’d do such a thing”.

Oh, if looks could kill, Mobius would’ve certainly been a goner, but the faint blush on Loki’s face certainly overpowered any threat behind the scowl.

Loki’s breath hitched as he eyed the hand that now rested on his side, but he looked back at Mobius immediately, unwilling to show any sign of anticipation or nervousness. The agent was looking at him as intently as possible, his mind set on finding even a hint of happiness in Loki’s expression.

“Alright, I’m tired of you sulking around like this, and even more so, I’m tired of seeing you in pain because of my mistakes”, suddenly, Mobius’s hand came to life at Loki’s side, clawing and scratching up and down to really test the God’s sensitivity.

Loki threw his head back against the wall,

“G-Goddamnit Mobius! Quihihit ihihihit!”, he bit his lip through his laughter in hopes to suppress it, but Mobius moved his hand up higher, spidering now at Loki’s ribs. That action produced something that was definitely not a squeal, thank you very much.

“You suhuhuhuck! Lehehet me gohohohoho!”, he spat, thrashing side to side as he tried to get away from his friend, but his mind was too boggled and he was split between fighting against it and just letting it happen.

Not that he enjoyed it or that he was having fun, no definitely not. That’s ridiculous.

It had just… been so long since he was able to laugh like that. Yeah. That’s all.

He was ashamed to admit the noises coming from him most definitely qualified as giggles, so he wouldn’t be admitting it, but that’s most certainly what they were.

“Aw, cute. That’s something I didn’t expect to hear from a God, but giggles are cute so who am I to judge?”, Mobius teased, alternating between spidering at Loki’s sides and digging into his ribs while the trickster tried to sink to the floor with no luck.

His eyes widened at Mobius’s words, “I- I do nohohot gihihiggle, you ahahass! Now stahahahap!”

Mobius just hummed, “Mmm… No, I don’t think I will. You very obviously lied about not being ticklish, but you look pretty happy right now, so I’ll keep this up for a while”.

Gods don’t whine, except for when they do, and that’s exactly what Loki did as Mobius’s skittering fingertips slipped to the back of his rib cage.

Loki squealed and suddenly tugged at his arms as hard as he could manage, shocking Mobius enough to slip away from him, but when he started to run, he realized there wasn’t much of anywhere to go.

Mobius knew Loki had nowhere to go, so he stayed in place, watching Loki search frantically for a place to run or hide before he gave in and rolled onto his bed, moving to sit on his knees and eye Mobius warily.

“Oh look at you”, Mobius said, approaching the God slowly, “You really got nowhere to go now”.

Loki put his hands up in front of himself as Mobius came closer and closer, “Now- Now, hang on, Mobius. Wait just a moment, can’t we talk about this like adults?”

Mobius hummed in thought, sitting himself on the edge of the mattress, “I don’t really think it’s necessary. The whole point is to get you smiling again, so what’s the point of talking?”

Loki racked his brain for any argument he could make and came up mostly blank, “Can’t you tell a joke or something?”

Mobius shook his head, “No fun in that, but this”, he said, suddenly tackling Loki into the mattress, just to pin him down and straddle his hips, “this is fun, wouldn’t you agree?”.

Loki shook his head frantically, tugging at his arms as they were pinned beneath Mobius’s knees.

Mobius unbuttoned the few bottom buttons of Loki’s white shirt, slipping his hands underneath the fabric and causing the God to nearly scream through his gritted teeth.

“MOBIUS- MOBIUS NO! Get out!”.

Mobius was taken aback for a moment but he couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the dramatic reaction, “Worse on the bare skin, huh?”, he chuckled, drumming his fingers against Loki’s hips.

Loki held his breath as he threw his head back against his mattress, grumbling empty threats through his teeth and kicking out behind Mobius.

“I was doing this mainly to cheer you up, but this is entertaining”, he teased, tracing his fingertips up to Loki’s sides to spider and scratch at them as gently as he could manage.

Loki squealed as he drummed his feet on the mattress and tugged at his hands, “Mohohobius nohoho! Nohohoho quit ihihihit! You’re ahahahawful!”, he spat insults at his friend as he thrashed and squirmed beneath him, the ticklish sensation teasing his nerves maddeningly.

Mobius just smiled before clawing his way to Loki’s ribs, scratching in and out and side to side before spidering and thumbing between the bones, attempting to decide which got the best reaction.

“NO! Nonono, not thahahahat!”, the trickster’s laughter got higher in pitch and increased drastically in volume with the tickling in the spaces between his ribs, and Mobius noticed the tears beginning to pool in his eyes.

He didn’t want to kill Loki, so he went back to the scratching, “You didn’t just lie about being a little sensitive. You, my friend, are desperately fucking ticklish”.

Loki shook his head, but he was struggling to form words. The longer Mobius tickled, the worse it felt, “Stahahahahap, I cahahahan’t! I can’t, Mohohohobius. MOHOHOHOBIUS NOHOHOHO!”

Mobius stopped suddenly when his hands touched the center of Loki’s abdomen, watching the God do everything he could to sit up and get away from his captor, but he just couldn’t do it.

“Ohoh, bad spot, huh?”, Mobius teased, using his fingers to trace teasingly around the bare skin of Loki’s stomach.

“Mobius, please, don’t do this to me. Let me go, and I promise I won’t be upset anymore, okay? Just please… don’t”, Loki was ashamed of himself and his over dramatic reactions, but if there was one thing he couldn’t handle, it was being tickled there.

Mobius cooed sympathetically, “Aww, too ticklish?”, he asked as if he was considering letting Loki go, “Man… that sucks doesn’t it?”

Loki’s eyes widened and he went to protest, but he didn’t have a chance as Mobius’s fingertips skittered mercilessly around his belly.

He squealed and screamed and tried to buck Mobius off of him, but he was stuck, “PLEHEHEHEHEASE STOHOHOHOHOP! STOP IHIHIHIT!”

Mobius smiled down at him, using all ten of his fingers to vibrate his hands in the very center of the God’s abdomen.

“NOHOHOHOHOHO, SHIHIHIHIHIT! MOBIUHUHUS!”, he drummed his feet against the mattress, looking down at Mobius’s hands as his tormentor stopped for just a moment.

“I got a question”, Mobius said, using just one finger to trace around the tense muscles of his friend’s abdomen, circling dangerously close to the little divot in the center of his stomach.

Loki looked back and forth from Mobius’s hand to the smug grin on his face as he tried to collect himself and rid himself of any residual giggles, “Then ask it”.

Mobius hummed, “I’m getting there”, he remarked, “How ticklish do you think you are riiight… here”, he asked, teasing and circling the rim of Loki’s bellybutton.

Loki squirmed and whined pitifully as anticipatory giggles poured from his lips, “Dohohon’t. Don’t do thahahahat. Please, plehehehease”,

With his free hand, Mobius tickled up and down Loki’s side, pinching at the fleshy area, “Aww, I like that you said please”, he teased as Loki tried to roll to one side to protect the one that Mobius was tickling, “But… Im gonna do it anyway”.

Mobius dipped his finger in his ticklish friend’s bellybutton, wiggling at the base and walls of the little divot while he tickled around his belly and sides with his other hand.

“NO- NOHOHOHOHO! I CAN’T TAHAHAKE IT!”, he squirmed and kicked as Mobius tickled him mercilessly, one hand scratching relentlessly at the spaces between his ribs before he finally had some mercy on him and started tickling around his belly again instead of in his bellybutton.

Loki snorted, but he was too weak to fight and too lost to be embarrassed about it. His nerve endings felt like they were on fire and it was the only thing he could think about as those pesky tears finally fell.

Mobius had mercy on him, ceasing his tickling and allowing Loki to calm down, “Alright, let me try one more thing, and I’ll quit, okay?”, he asked gently, a fond smile playing at his lips as the trickster tried to hide his red face in his shoulder.

“Just do it”, he breathed out heavily, trying to prepare himself for whatever Mobius was going to do.

Slowly and carefully, Mobius moved his knees off of Loki’s hands to reposition himself and sit lower on his his friend’s thighs. He unbuttoned just a few more buttons on Loki’s shirt and pushed it up as high as he could manage.

Carefully, Mobius laced his fingers with Loki’s to hold his hands in place. The God panted in an attempt to gather himself when he tensed his muscles once more, recognizing Mobius’s actions immediately as the blond leaned down so his face was just above Loki’s abdomen.

Loki shook his head, “Oh for fuck’s sake, Mobius, why?”

Mobius just shrugged, “I just wanna know how you’ll react”.

Loki didn’t even try to deny it, “Visciously”.

Mobius hummed, “Alright, then I’ll just hold you tighter”, he said teasingly, suddenly taking a deep breath.

Loki braced himself, shaking already as a nervous smile played at his lips.

Mobius put his lips right over his friend’s bellybutton and blew as hard as he could.

Loki squealed and snorted and squirmed as the first raspberry rippled across his abdomen torturously before Mobius blew one after the other all over his tummy,

“NOHOHOHOHO! NONONOHOHOHO! PLEHEHEHEASE! Plehehease, please, Mobius- NOHOHOHOHOHO!”, the small breaks he got in between each raspberry were just long enough to drive him crazy while Mobius breathed in to blow another.

The agent lifted his head once more, breathing in as deeply as possible before blowing the longest, most ticklish raspberry he could manage right over Loki’s bellybutton. He couldn’t take it anymore, his brain was fuzzy and his lungs were burning, “MERCY! MEHEHERCY!”

Mobius stopped immediately, sitting up and letting Loki breathe, “Alright, calm down. I’m done now”, he soothed , moving off of his legs to allow Loki to curl up on his side and wrap his arms around himself.

Loki’s body shook with leftover giggles as he tried to rub away the ghost tickles around his abdomen and wipe away the tears on his cheeks.

Mobius smiled at him, patting his back lovingly, “You happy now, big guy?”.

Loki glared at him, but nodded nonetheless, eliciting a small chuckle from Mobius.

“Good, good. I’m pretty happy too. Hearing the God of Mischief snort and giggle is a great serotonin booster”, he teased, nodding approvingly and giving him a thumbs up.

Loki huffed as he felt his cheeks heat up, “I do not giggle, Mobius”.

Mobius rolled his eyes, “Then what were you doing while you were pretending to try to get away?”.

Loki sat up, his eyes widening in shock, “I was not pretending!”, he scowled, pushing Mobius back a little before crossing his arms over his chest.

“Sure you weren’t, and you definitely don’t giggle, and you’re certainly not pouting right now.”, he said, sarcasm just dripping from his tone.

Loki looked at him, his expression softening as he thought about how much Mobius must have cared about his happiness to have went through the trouble to make him laugh like that.

“I uh… Thank you, Mobius”, he whispered, looking down at his lap as he spoke, “for caring”.

Mobius huffed out a small laugh, “Don’t thank me, big guy. You deserve it”.

Loki smiled, leaning against his friend’s chest and allowing himself to relax as Mobius wrapped an arm around him. Both of them smiled, trying not to look at each other for the sake of their own shyness.

It was quiet. It was peaceful. They were happy…. but who would the God of Mischief be without causing a little trouble?

“So… your full name is Mobius Mobius Mobius?”

Mobius tightened his arm around Loki with an impatient sigh, “Don’t make me pin you down again”.

—

——

The next few days passed full of smiles and jokes, and plenty of passing pokes and tickles to Loki’s sides and belly.

Loki knew now that Mobius cared, and he knew that Mobius was sorry, and that was all he could ask for.

And if pretending to be upset or just being ridiculously stubborn became a part of Loki’s daily routine, who was anyone to complain about it?

Certainly not Mobius, but he was always there to take care of Loki’s moods.

[thekingslover]

Jetski For Sale (Lokius fic)

He stops riding the jetski.

He keeps it on the small trailer at the end of his driveway beside his modest split-level home and covers it with a blue tarp.

Every morning, in his brown button-up pajamas and a bathrobe, he walks to the end of the driveway and collects the morning paper. He’s careful to hold his coffee mug steady as he leans down, but he always manages to spill a drop or two. His slippers are covered in tiny coffee spots.

He tucks the newspaper under his arm and turns back toward his house. He left the television on; through the window, the screen flashes with the bright white letters, Breaking News! Two houses down, his neighbor is already out mowing the lawn. Further away, a dog barks.

Though he lives alone, it’s a perfect life. Everything’s simple. His mortgage is affordable. His brown sedan is paid off. And the jetski...

He doesn’t remember buying it. He always wanted one, dreamed of it. He had a savings set aside for someday. Yet... his savings is still there, and he still has this jetski.

He looks at it now, at the way it bulges under the tarp. A shame to leave it like that. He should take it out again. But the last time he did that...

Shaking his head, he walks back to the house. He drinks his coffee and reads his newspaper. He goes to work, comes home, goes to sleep, and does it all again the next day.

“Something’s different about you,” his sister says on the phone, their weekly call. “You sound different.”

“Same old me.” He’s good at keeping back his feelings and pushing forward the cheer.

She knows, though. Older sisters always seem to. “Are you sure you haven’t been seeing anyone lately?”

This sends him laughing. “A secret boyfriend? Come on, you have quite an imagination on you.”

“Laugh all you want,” she says, stern. She’s not backing down, though her voice does soften as she adds, “It’s only that you... Well, you sound... heartbroken.”

“That’s...” He should deny it. He hasn’t dated anyone in a good long while, but, well, now that she mentions it... He’s had his heart broken before, long ago, and it felt a little something like this. Like something crucial is suddenly missing. Like you spent so much time learning someone and adapting to them, shaping whole parts of your life around them, and then they are just... gone.

There’s a person-sized hole in his life now, but he can’t quite remember their shape.

No, that can’t be.

“That’s crazy,” he says, thinking, maybe I’m crazy.

“Why don’t you come visit us for a while?” she says. “The kids would love to see you.”

“Yeah,” he says, shaky. “Yeah, maybe that’s a good idea. Tell them I love them. Love you too.” Then he hangs up.

*

That night, he lays on his back in bed and stares at the ceiling, afraid to look to his right. He used to sleep sprawled across the entire width of the bed, a true bachelor enjoying his bachelorhood. When did he start picking one side?

He turns over, facing away from the barren expanse of the rest of the mattress, but the bookshelf offers little comfort. Most of his books are about history, biographies on interesting characters from the past. There’s a couple of jetski magazines wedged in, too. But what catches his eye... He remembers buying it, knows he did, the morning after watching a documentary on the perception of time and space. The documentarian had written a book. The Mobius Strip.

Frowning, he doesn’t find any sleep that night, no matter how many long minutes he closes his eyes, or how many sheep he tries to count in his head.

Mobius.

It’s a mathematical theory. Not a name. But it wedges between his ribs and stays buried behind them.

He’s not even a maths guy! But he can’t shake it. It feels heavy, too important.

He tosses and turns. He reaches out to the other side of the bed, realizes its empty, and snaps upright, dread overtaking him for one sharp moment before he remembers that its supposed to be empty.

This is normal. This is his perfect little life.

He flops back into bed and runs a hand down his face. Maybe he should go visit his sister, before he fully loses his mind.

*

His hands shake the next morning when he walks out to get the newspaper at the end of the driveway. Half his coffee spills when he leans to pick it up, but its fine. Maybe he should give up coffee entirely. Maybe too much caffeine is his problem.

He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him.

Turning towards the house, he spots the jetski, there under the blue tarp. The mysterious jetski that he doesn’t remember buying. The one, when he’s out on it, he sits too far forward, like he’s making space for someone behind him. But there’s no one there. There’s never anyone there.

The jetski, he decides, was the start of his problems. Maybe if he... If he...

Storming back into the house, he leaves what’s left of his coffee in the sink and the newspaper forgotten on the counter, and hurries into the office. He rips off a long sheet of dot matrix printer paper. Biting off the cap of his pen, he scribbles on it in large block letters, all caps, FOR SALE.

Back in the driveway, he removes the chocks from behind the wheels of the trailer, and flips off the tarp. He wheels the trailer and the jetski to the end of the driveway, right up against the road.

He must look like a mad man, out there in his brown button-up pajamas and coffee-stained slippers. The neighbor’s mowing the lawn. The dog’s barking further away. Everything’s perfect in this perfect little neighborhood, this perfect little life. But he feels like he is going insane.

He slaps the for sale sign on the front of the jetski, and starts back for the house. The sooner that thing is out of his life... Maybe... Maybe things would go back to normal.

His heart pangs in a way he doesn’t understand. Heartache. So much heartache. Why?

Does he even want normal?

But if not that, then what? What is he missing?

He’s at his front door, hand on the doorknob, when someone politely coughs behind him. He pauses a moment, there’s no way someone is there... But when he glances over his shoulder - yeah. Someone’s behind him, only a few feet away.

Not just someone. The most gorgeous person he has ever seen, wearing a sleek black suit and a pair of sunglasses. Long dark hair is slicked back and pushed behind their ears.

He should probably feel self-conscious, standing there in his brown pajamas in front of this god of a person - probably a model - but he doesn’t. Strangely, he feels more at ease now than he has in weeks. His whole body relaxes like he finally exhaled a held breath.

But that doesn’t make sense. They’ve never met. He would remember.

He would never forget a face like that.

“Hello,” the person says, and the word tremors slightly.

“Hello.” It tremors when he says it too.

There’s no car on the road. No bicycle on the sidewalk. However this person got here, it’s like they dropped down from the sky.

The person clears their throat. “You’re selling the jetski?”

“You...” He blinks. He knew jetskis were popular - hell, they are the best - but he hadn’t expected an offer before he even got his pants on. “Yeah. You interested?”

“Yes, I...” They drop their head a moment, taking their time to think. When they lift their head again, their shoulders lift too, like they are preparing for a battle.

He supposes negotiations can be seen as a battle, but he can’t bring himself to match the person’s pose. He’s ready to give up the jetski for free at this point. Whatever gets it gone.

The person asks, “What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing’s wrong with it. It runs like a dream.”

“Then why get rid of it?”

His heart hurts, so he laughs through the pain. It’s silly, but he can’t help feel his sister was right. This person wouldn’t know either way, so he finds himself telling them, “I’m heartbroken.”

The person goes very still. Their mouth opens and they take in a shaky, noisy breath. When they say, “What?” the word is bone dry and crumbling.

“It’s something we did together... I think.” He’s making it up, but it feels right. So he keeps talking. “And now. Well. It kinda reminds me of... I’m pretty sure I forgot a lot of things, but I can’t forget that. There’s supposed to be someone else. And I can’t... I can’t...”

He’s not making any sense, but the person is hanging on every single word.

“Anyway,” he says. “I’ll let it go cheap. Too many memories... or... I don’t know, feelings?” He sighs. “Just make me an offer, okay? I have to get ready for work.”

He wants nothing more than to keep this beautiful person on his doorstep, but... well, life isn’t always about getting what you want. This person wants a jetski, he has one. A transaction will occur, and this person will move forward like he never existed.

He’ll be left behind again.

Again?

Now, he’s the one to stand a little straighter. “Do you ever get deja vu?”

“Deja vu?”

“You know, where you feel like you’ve lived an exact moment already, once before. I’ve been reading this book about mobius strips and...” There’s that pang again, in his chest. A subtle ache that is swelling. He wants to ignore it, like he always has, but he’s finding he can’t really anymore. “Don’t you think that’d be a cool name? Mobius. Mobius M. Mobius.” He laughs, and it hurts. It hurts.

The person doesn’t laugh. Instead, they take a small step back. “I shouldn’t have come here.”

His laughter dies quickly. It wasn’t real anyway. “You don’t want the jetski?”

“I do,” the person says with naked longing. “More than anything.”

“Then its yours.” He shrugs. “You know, it kinda feels like it was already yours? Like, maybe its just been waiting around for you to show up and claim it.”

The person shakes their head. “It’s better off without me. It finally has a chance to... to... live the way you - it deserves...”

“I mean, that’s a nice thought. But in practice... wouldn’t it be better for jetskis to decide for themselves the kind of lives they want? Whose to say that their life before was all that great? Because let me tell you, this perfect little normal life I’m living? Kinda sucks.” He doesn’t really understand what he’s saying, but the words still fall out of him, like ripping a scab off an old wound and all the blood starts running again.

The person takes another step back, but this time, he follows, taking a step forward. Somehow, it feels crucial that he not let this person leave him behind again.

There, another again. What is he not remembering?

“There’s something terribly wrong with all this,” he says. “I’m forgetting something important, but whatever it is - whoever - I don’t think I can be happy without them. Not really. Not in any way that matters.”

“Mobius...” the person says, soft, under their breath. Stronger, “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

And the dam breaks.

“I know exactly what I’m saying, Loki.” The name, that name. How could he forget that name?

The person - Loki - exhales again, watery this time.

“Maybe if we never met, this would be enough. Maybe it was once. But not anymore. Never again. Not since you. And not even your little mind hocus pocus could change that.”

Mobius takes another step forward. This time, Loki does not move back. They stay just as they are and let Mobius close the distance. Mobius lifts his hands to Loki’s face and slowly removes those sunglasses. Loki’s eyes have always been the most expressive - the easiest to read. No wonder they would try to hide them. Because now they shine with sorrow and regret and... love. So much love.

And that, Mobius knows, is exactly what he’s been looking for when he reaches out to the empty space beside him on the bed. When he sits in his kitchen and stares at the pulled-out chair across the table. When he rides his jetski and turns, ready to laugh with the missing person behind him.

“I’m not angry,” Mobius says, tossing the sunglasses aside. He takes one of Loki’s hands in his. Loki grips hard onto his fingers. “I understand why you did it. It’s kind of flattering really, to know you’d give up your own happiness to try to give me mine. But there was a very big problem with this latest Loki scheme.”

“What’s that?” Loki asks in a whisper.

Mobius gives them a smile. The first real one since they parted. “You’re unforgettable.”

Loki laughs once, a burst, like they’ve been holding something in and now its escaping. The hard lines of their face smooth out. And they look less like a frightened, broken shadow and more like themselves, god of mischief, with a small but growing smirk. “Of course. I suppose I should have considered that.”

“Big flaw. Ruined the whole thing, to be honest.”

Loki leans closer. “I hate to admit to fault, but I fear there was a second issue that I had not considered.”

“Oh, yeah? What’s that?”

“Your absolute stubbornness.”

“Stubborn? Me? You should look in the mirror, pal.”

Loki closes their eyes a moment. Mobius studies the planes of their perfect face, and wonders how, in all the infinite timelines, he ever forgot it. 

“Loki,” Mobius says. “Do me a favor, though, huh? Don’t do this again. I... uh, well. It wasn’t the most fun for me.”

“Me, either.” Loki presses their forehead to Mobius’s. “I regretted every moment, but I... The TVA stole you from your life. I wanted to -”

“I know, I get it. I’m not mad. But communication is key to a relationship, yeah? So maybe next time you want to do a grand gesture of love for me, we should talk about it first?”

Loki leans back. They blink. But it’s not the love that trips them up, it’s, “Relationship?”

Mobius runs his hands along Loki’s arms, up to the shoulders and back down to the elbows. “Yeah. I mean, we’re partners, right?”

“Partners.” Loki doesn’t say the word with disgust, more... intrigue.

“Boyfriends?” Mobius tries.

“Boyfriends.” Loki frowns at that one.

“Lovers?”

Loki’s eyes are bright and full of wonder. How they could look at Mobius, someone so normal, like that... well. Loki makes Mobius feel like a god himself, no wonder he couldn’t go back to his old life.

“Lovers,” Loki says and kisses Mobius. Mobius smiles against their lips. Lovers, it is, then.

Kiss turns to kisses, and they linger. It’s right, so right that it further amplifies how wrong everything else was before. Mobius belongs here. Right here. With Loki. Forever, if possible.

When they break, they both laugh, and it’s light and true this time, for both of them.

“Hey, Loki,” Mobius says. “Want to buy a jetski?”

Loki pulls an annoyed face, but its all an act - Mobius sees right through it, and Loki’s not trying that hard to hide it. “I believe I’m the one who acquired that jetski for you. You have no right to sell it.”

“It was a gift,” Mobius says.

“It remains a gift. One I insist you keep.”

“Alright, alright,” Mobius laughs and Loki kisses him at the corner of his smile. “But only if you promise to keep me.”

“Oh, dear Mobius.” Loki brings their mouth to Mobius’s ear. “I hope you appreciated this display of selflessness, because I will not be repeating it.”

“Good.”

“I am a selfish god.”

“Uh, huh.”

Loki’s arms grip tightly around Mobius’s waist. “And from here to eternity, I will be keeping what’s mine.”

The last remaining knots in Mobius’s chest untangle. “And the jetski.”

“And the jetski,” Loki says and kisses him again.

[lowkeyorloki]

Goldfish

Pairing: Loki x Mobius

Rating: Teen and up, but nothing more than a couple kisses

A/N: Hiiii sorry I’m never on here anymore I’m a bit busy and I don’t have time to post consistently on tumblr if I want to keep updating my multichapter! I know this isn’t my usual content but I’m posting it on my ao3 so I figured I’d drop it here as well ^.^ it’s funny, I don’t even ship lokius but I saw some fanart on twitter of them hugging and it just... inspired me. If this is your thing, I hope you enjoy <3

~

It’s just that… Loki knows it will have to be him.

He can’t read Mobius, not like he can every other human he comes across. Or being, even. Mobius has seen every moment of Loki’s life, some of which Loki himself will now never live out or understand. Mobius has watched Loki in his most private moments.

It makes the TVA agent inescapable. He knows Loki, truly knows him, whether Loki likes it or not. 

And so Loki can’t tell with Mobius. The small exhaled laughs or the allowance of Loki to fix his tie. Loki doesn’t know if Mobius does these things because he wants to, or because Loki would like to think the other man wants him to. 

And Mobius is loyal to the TVA, anyway. Even if he were to look past all of Loki’s faults, even if Mobius were to see Loki as anything more than a pain in the ass of a friend, he wouldn’t do anything. It was controversial enough to bring in Loki at all.

Loki should be thankful he has Mobius in any capacity at all. 

And so Loki knows he would have to make the first move. And he can’t do that, because Mobius is possibly the only person who could destroy Loki with a simple rejection. 

Loki keeps quiet, and lives for when his shoulder brushes Mobius’s in the elevator. 

~

Trying to find the variant is exhausting. Mobius is on his seventh cup of coffee, and his head is starting to buzz. Not the good, productive type of buzz either. The type that makes someone need to lay down. 

Apparently, Loki has already had that idea. Mobius glances at him, asleep across the table and surrounded by books and loose papers. As he drains the last of what’s in his cup, Mobius realizes he hasn’t seen Loki eat or drink a single thing since he got here. If he had to, Mobius would bet money the god hasn’t been sleeping either. 

Mobius stands up, his back cracking when he does. He groans - Mobius is getting old, something he’s noticed more and more lately. He walks around the table until he’s right next to Loki, ready to wake him up. Loki’s breaths are even, hitting the ends of a few pieces of paper. Mobius has never really seen him like this - calm, subdued. He almost looks peaceful. Mobius leans over Loki, hands on his hips as he examines the other man. 

Mobius would never tell Loki, but it is obvious that the dark-haired man is a god. There are just things about his looks that clue Mobius in. 

Loki’s skin, even as it’s gotten dull with his time in the TVA, is technically flawless. He glows, even in his embarrassing or rude moments. His cheekbones are impossibly sharp, and his lips are the reddest Mobius has seen. He would guess they’re soft. 

Loki’s hair was the most dead giveaway. It always looked perfect, loose curls that seemed to suck in any light. It was the opposite of Mobius’s graying blond hair. He’s shiny. Everything about Loki is shiny. 

Loki stirs, and Mobius straightens up, not wanting Loki to see him watching. He was upset enough that Mobius has watched his entire life over. 

Mobius ponders how to wake Loki up when a lock of his black hair falls into his face. Without thinking, Mobius reaches forward and tucks it behind the man’s ear.

Reckless. Loki really does start to wake up then, and Mobius swats him with the corner of the folders in his hand. 

“Come on,” Mobius says. “We’re not even close to done.”

~

The two of them are so close to making strides. Loki is smart, just like Mobius knew - just like he keeps convincing Ravonna - but he’s being held back. It’s like a single wrong look could make Loki wither away, be absent for the rest of the day. Mobius has no clue how someone who thought so highly of himself could be so affected by the glare of a random agent. Maybe Mobius didn’t know Loki as well as he thought. Only in small ways, though. 

And Mobius still hasn’t seen him eat or drink a damn thing. 

He stands up abruptly, surprising Loki. His head shoots up, perfect curls becoming loose and falling in his face in the process. Mobius almost considers brushing them away. 

“Come on,” he says, gesturing towards the exit. Loki narrows his eyes.

“We haven’t even been here four hours,” he says, which is generous, because they both know they’ve only been there for two. Mobius lets out a harsh sigh. 

“Am I the supervisor or are you? Let’s go, Loki.” Loki seems to know Mobius is doing him a favor, and stands up as well. Loki follows him down a new set of hallways, stands next to him in an elevator he hasn’t been on yet. 

“Am I to take it we’re breaking the rules, or…?” Loki trails off in a way that is anything but unsure. 

“It’s for the sake of the cause,” Mobius says. “We don’t need to address it directly.”

Mobius does look over his shoulder when he gets to the door, and locks it as soon as they’re both inside. He flicks on the lights, and Loki looks bored. Mobius lets out an exasperated sigh.

“Don’t say I never did anything for you. Sit down,” he gestures towards the couch. 

“Agent Mobius, are you allowing me in your home?” Loki’s eyes glint. Despite himself, Mobius finds himself relieved to hear Loki making quips again. He already might have more energy. 

“Hey, if we don’t talk about it, my job security looks a lot better,” Mobius sets a bowl down in front of Loki. “Will you please eat something? God or not, I don’t know how you’re still alive after a month.” Loki presses his lips into a thin line.

“Mobius, I appreciate the gesture, but you don’t need to -” Mobius is already prepared, and tosses a piece of food directly into Loki’s mouth as he speaks. He makes a gagging noise, and looks at Mobius furiously, but the other man is already laughing. 

“What… what are these?” He asks after swallowing, seemingly admitting defeat. Mobius laughs again.

“Goldfish. They’re from Earth you know,” Mobius eats a few, and quietly celebrates when Loki does as well. 

“Goldfish. I know of an employee you have that might benefit from these,” Loki tells him. 

“I’m flattered you think I’m anyone’s, especially Casey’s, superior. But really, the only person I’m in charge of is you,” Mobius says. Loki glares. 

“I’m always ten steps ahead of you all. Surely you know that,” he says, but it’s non-committal. Mobius can tell. 

“Yep. You’ve said before, handsome. This is all part of your plan.” Mobius looks to Loki for his next retort, but Loki doesn’t say anything. He stares at Mobius with an unreadable look on his face, and Mobius realizes his slip up. Handsome.

“Hey, don’t let my crackers go to waste. They’re hard to get a hold of around here, you know,” Mobius says, and Loki seems to move.

They stay like that for awhile, Loki sitting as Mobius watches over him. Mobius is just getting comfortable again when Loki gets up.

“It’s been great, but we probably should be heading back now,” he says, walking towards the door. “Wouldn’t want the timekeepers finding out about this, would we?”

Mobius stops him, carefully telling him to wait. Loki does, back facing him.

“I can tell you’re tired, Loki. I get it. You got here just after a war,” Loki tenses, just barely, at the mention of New York. Mobius talks faster to smooth it over. “I think you can take a day off. Better for me anyway. I don’t want to be sticking my neck out for someone who isn’t even helping all that much.” Mobius puts his hand on Loki’s shoulder. 

He’s always shocked by the amount of muscle he can feel through the material of Loki’s shirt. Loki seems so lean, but whenever Mobius touches him, he can feel how solid the other man is. He likes it. It’s soothing.

Loki turns around, looking suspicious. Mobius doesn’t blame Loki, but he does almost feel guilty. 

Almost.

“You can sleep here. Not just today. I’m sure the cot they have you sleeping in hardly compares to whatever you had on Asgard,” Mobius steps away, letting Loki go and waving his hand. “My couch doesn’t either, but it’s an upgrade for sure. Living room is all yours, buddy.”

“Where are you going?” Loki asks. Mobius looks at him. 

“To my room. I’m tired too,” he says. Loki blinks. 

“Won’t someone notice I’m not where I’m supposed to be?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Mobius says dismissively, even though he has no idea how he’s going to pull this off.

He’s practically made Loki a promise at this point. He’ll figure out how to make it all okay somehow. 

~

It’s driving Loki insane. 

Before, he could keep it all in because he was scared that Mobius wouldn’t want it. Wouldn’t want him. But now, there are moments that Loki doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that Mobius might push him away, give him that disapproving look if it meant Loki could just…

Kiss him. 

Loki scoffs at himself. He didn’t even get this caught up in the thought of a kiss as a boy. It was pathetic to feel like this in adulthood. 

What’s even worse is the thought that maybe this is how it’s supposed to be. He can recall watching Thor on Earth as he followed around Jane Foster, losing every bit of charm that kept him so popular on Asgard. At the time, Loki didn’t understand it.

But now he does. 

Everything is so high stakes for him - Loki is doomed if he doesn’t do as the TVA wants, and he would have been doomed had he just stayed on Earth like he was supposed to. But he barely even pays attention to those things.

Every waking moment is about Mobius. How he looks in the morning before he showers, hair tousled as he digs around in the fridge. The way his face lights up when he and Loki almost find the variant, and then the inevitable disappointment when they don’t. How every night, without fail, he tells Loki goodnight as the god falls asleep on his couch. 

Loki is starting to think there is something here. Because he’s paranoid, but not stupid. Mobius wouldn’t be letting Loki get this close if he thought the same way as when they first met. 

They enjoy each other. Mobius likes to lead, to rebel in the way he’s been given permission to. And Loki is realizing he doesn’t mind following a man like Mobius. 

~

Of course, the TVA isn’t so bad either. 

The organization itself, Loki hates. He’s never met the timekeepers, but they sound like kings. That was a group Loki never got along with. 

But the buildings, the center, was growing on him. Even if he wasn’t allowed access to most of the materials, Loki likes the library. He enjoys staying deep in the bookshelves, and bringing a stack out to drop right on the book Mobius is reading. Loki likes the elevators, which seemed to be the few minutes he could simply stand in silence and rest. He likes Casey too, though he tends to leave the poor, sad man alone now. 

Most of all, Loki likes the long hallways that rarely had anyone but him and Mobius. They feel private without being stifling. Sometimes, when the two go back to Mobius’s apartment too early, Loki feels sick. Like it physically hurts to be so close to having what he wants.

~

“That brown suit is hideous, you know.” Loki tells Mobius as they’re both getting ready. Mobius scowls at Loki.

“It’s uniform. You know, if everything works out, you might get one just like it,” Mobius retorts. Loki scoffs. “Alright then, mr. prince. What would you have me in?”

Loki stops, his eyes trailing over Mobius as he thinks about the question. Loki smirks, turning around as he grabs his belt.

“Anything else. You always look so uptight. No one here knows how to let loose a bit.”

“I’m uptight. That’s a good one,” Mobius says. He’s standing by the door, wanting to leave. “Could you hurry up and put your pants on? We’re late.”

All Loki is doing is tucking his shirt in, but he thinks he can feel Mobius looking. It’s in a way that doesn’t seem strictly observational. 

~

The nightmares, of course, are an issue. 

Loki hasn’t shared a room since he and Thor were children, so no one knows about the night terrors he gets. Maybe Mobius does, having had a glance at a few as he watched Loki’s life play out on the screen. But Loki doesn’t think so, because Mobius has never said anything. 

But of course, Loki has to ruin that. He wakes up with a shout that echoes off the walls. He slaps a hand over his mouth, then pulls it away, sticky with sweat. He’s pinching the bridge of his nose when Mobius bursts into the living room, slamming his hand over the light switch to turn it on.

“I’m sorry,” Loki says immediately, squinting at the brightness. “I didn’t mean to be so loud. I know you would get in trouble if someone were to find me here.”

“You.. I’d…” Mobius blinks, still half asleep and trying to figure out what’s happening. “Loki, are you alright?”

“I’m fine. Go back to bed, Mobius.” Loki leans more into his palm, cursing himself for letting this happen. If Mobius knows Loki like he claims to, he should just go.

Mobius stays in the doorway, and Loki can practically hear the gears turning in his head. Mobius sighs.

“Look, I’m not gonna ask you what it was, but… why don’t you sleep in here for tonight?” He gestures behind him, presumably towards his bed. Loki raises his head, looking at the other man.

Mobius looks sincere - painfully so. It seems like he doesn’t know what’s going on or what he should do, but he also looks like he just wants Loki to listen. 

Loki gets up, folding the blanket on the couch before he follows Mobius. Loki crawls into the bed after the other man, staying as far away as possible. He expects Mobius to say something else, but he doesn’t. Mobius just sighs and yanks the blanket towards him. 

~

Loki wakes up feeling amazing. 

He feels rested, warm and heavy as he stirs. The room smells like sleep, and Loki can’t help but raise his arms above his head and stretch. That’s when he feels something on his chest. Loki opens his eyes, peering down. Mobius’s arm is slung over him, the other man still asleep. 

Loki doesn’t move, trying to figure out how asleep Mobius still is. He wonders if they can stay like this for a few more minutes. 

He doesn’t take the chance. Loki gets up, quietly leaving so he can take a shower in the bathroom where his toothbrush sits next to Mobius’s. 

~

Mobius doesn’t like this shift in his feelings. 

He liked thinking Loki was all bravado with no depth. It was easy to separate everything that way. What was work, and what wasn’t. What mattered and didn’t. 

What was ethical or not. 

Being around Loki so much was making Mobius like him. Even worse, care. He started to dread rewatching certain scenes from his life to look for clues that might tell him where other Lokis are, because Mobius can see the effects of it all now. They’re playing out in front of him, sleeping on his living room couch. 

When Loki wakes up from whatever he was dreaming about, Mobius feels sick. He doesn’t even think about the fact Loki’s cry is loud enough to get caught - literally does not even occur to him. His only thought is, what now? What could possibly catch up to you here?

After Loki lays down in his bed (which was easier to get him to do than Mobius thought), Mobius listens for his breathing to even out. Then he reaches over, resting his arm on Loki’s chest. Mobius falls asleep making sure Loki is still breathing. 

~

Mobius notices the way Loki looks at him. The realization makes Mobius think about the two of them. What it would mean. 

It hasn’t even occurred to him to look at Loki like that, not seriously. Loki is an asset, so Mobius built up a ton of walls for the sake of professionalism. You know, for his job. Mobius is aware of Loki’s attractiveness because he has to be. It’s part of the reason all these Lokis get away with so much. 

But after that night Mobius begins to look at Loki because he can. And then he realizes he’s been doing that all along. 

“You know,” Mobius tells Loki the next afternoon. They’re in the cafeteria, and Loki is eating everything in his salad but the cherry tomatoes. “It might be better if you stay with me again tonight. Like you said, we wouldn’t want any of my neighbors to pick up on anything.” Loki raises an eyebrow, carefully setting his fork down. Mobius clears his throat.

“No need to be embarrassed, partner. I’m told I have a soothing presence.”

“I absolutely would not say that,” Loki says. “But… if you insist. After all,” Loki’s eyes glint. “You’re in charge.”

Mobius doesn’t know what to say to that, and drinks a cup of water in just one gulp.

~

And they settle into it. Loki doesn’t sneak out of Mobius’s arms, in fact, he actively seeks them out. Only once everything is quiet and the lights are out, but still. Loki tucks his head under Mobius’s chin, Mobius wraps his arms around Loki’s torso, and they both like it. A lot.

They don’t mention it ever, but it doesn’t seem like something they aren’t allowed to talk about. It’s just part of the routine. Shower, study, search, eat, get in bed. It’s nice. 

At some point, Loki realizes this is the longest he’s stayed in one place for a very long time. 

~

Just like Loki thought, he’s the first to do it. 

They’re in the elevator, and it’s taking a particularly long time, and Mobius decided to stand closer than he needed to and Loki just… kisses him. 

The best part is, Mobius doesn’t even seem surprised. He opens his mouth when Loki bites down on his lip, and he holds on to the lapels of Loki’s jacket and Loki cradles his face. Everything is so familiar, so natural, and Loki can’t help but smile against Mobius’s stupid mustache. 

And then Loki pulls away. Mobius doesn’t say anything, but he gives Loki a sad smile. Loki feels his blood run cold. 

“What?” He asks, and suddenly, he feels like a child. Like Mobius knows something he doesn’t, and now Loki is going to be chastised. 

“Nothing,” Mobius says, but that’s obviously not true. He sighs. “It’s just… that can't happen again.”

Loki stares at Mobius. “Why?” He demands. “Did you like it?”

“Yes,” Mobius says. His hands are resting on Loki’s waist, but he slides one over Loki's stomach. Mobius’s fingers find their way through the holes that the buttons of Loki’s shirt leave. The feeling of Mobius’s fingers on Loki’s bare skin make Loki dizzy, and confused. 

“Then why can’t we do it again?” He asks, wanting to rip Mobius’s hand off of him, but unable to bring himself to. Mobius grimaces. 

“Loki... Isn’t what we got goin’ enough?” Loki is cool under Mobius’s fingers. No more than anyone else though, even with his frost giant heritage. “C’mon, Loki,” when Mobius glances at Loki, then immediately looks away. The sight of Loki’s disorientated face, combined with his mouth slightly ajar… it’s too much. “You know if it goes any further one of us will screw up. I’ll even say it’ll be me. But someone would notice. It’d be impossible for them not to.”

“But… you’re the one who started this,” Loki protests, and he’s right, because Mobius is the one who brought him into this whole mess. The TVA, his apartment, his bedroom. It’s all been Mobius. Loki never asked for any of that. 

“I know,” Mobius says, and he sounds like he’s sorry. “Listen, I know. I’m sorry. We can’t have it all, but if we keep going the way we have, we can still have some.”

Loki steps away, and Mobius’s face falls. He looks more angry than sad. 

“I think I’d like to go back to my cell now.” Loki says. 

~

Loki doesn’t actually go back to his cell. But he does sleep on the couch again, and refuses to touch the Goldfish Mobius leaves out.

Mobius feels like a dick, but he’s also sort of pissed. He’s not happy about this either, and if Loki wasn’t always so selfish, he would see that Mobius also isn’t prancing around in happiness. 

“I’m not like you,” Mobius tells Loki the next morning. “Look, I can’t just… rebel. It’s not a luxury I’ve been afforded.”

“I’m glad that after seeing my entire life and death, you’ve settled on the word ‘luxury’ to describe it,” Loki responds angrily, and Mobius just backs off. He knows he won’t get anywhere with Loki, not like this. 

~

Watching Loki close himself off is… exactly what Mobius would have thought it would be. 

It’s exactly the same as when Loki arrived at the TVA, he’s just less defensive. Loki is just as mad at everyone else, but with Mobius, Loki doesn’t even give him a reaction. He does exactly what’s asked of him, no more and no less. 

Mobius misses him. 

Loki is just across the table, but Mobius misses their rapport. He wants to tease the god again, hassle him as they make their way to the cafeteria. Mobius wants to listen to Loki talk about Asgard, tell him all the little details that can���t be picked up on a screen. He wants his friend back. 

And now Mobius isn’t sleeping, either. He grew used to Loki’s head resting on his chest, the feeling of his hip in his hand. Mobius thinks about the skin of Loki’s stomach, how everything in the elevator felt. 

It was like Mobius lit up. He felt alive again, with free will and all.

But of course, Mobius doesn’t have free will. If he did, he’d pull Loki into the elevator himself, and show Loki just how much wanted this too. 

~

It hurts because Loki knows Mobius wants this. 

It’s almost worse than if he didn’t - because Mobius liking, wanting, and maybe even needing Loki back, it makes him like everything else in Loki’s life. Loki is so close, he can reach it, even hold it in the palm of his hand. A life with Mobius, at least for the time being, would be exactly as it was before the argument, except more so. Just a bit more. 

Loki can’t take it. He feels like he’s going to vomit every second of the day, because his life is a vicious cycle and coming so far just to be thrown away.  He takes long showers now, the stream of water being the only thing that can drown out his thoughts. Loki almost doesn’t see Mobius as he steps out of the bathroom, drying his hair. 

“Loki,” the other man says, and his tone is so grave that Loki stops. 

“Mobius,” he responds. “Do you need something?”

“I… I wanted to apologize,” Mobius takes a step forward. “For what I said.”

Loki tilts his head. “For which part? I recall quite a few things.” A look of exasperation passes over Mobius’s face. Loki hates to admit it, but the look is relieving. It makes everything seem less serious than it is. 

“What I said about not being like you,” Mobius explains. “Look, I know you’ve felt alone your whole life. And the way I said that, I don’t feel good about it. I’m sorry.”

Loki blinks, then throws his towel in the hamper. 

“It’s fine,” he says. Mobius shakes his head, stepping even closer, and Loki raises his eyes. 

“No, Loki, it’s not,” Mobius reaches up, running his fingers through Loki’s damp hair. “I lied,” he murmurs. “I lied to the God of Lies. I am like you, Loki. I’m your kind. I know Lokis, so I know who you would have been. But this you?” Mobius places his hands over Loki’s hips and pushes, pressing Loki’s back against the wall. “I’m still getting to know who you are now. And I like you, Loki. I really do.” Mobius stares at Loki expectantly. Loki swallows, resting his hands on Mobius’s shoulders. Mobius is softer than Loki is, and it makes Loki’s mouth water. From here, Loki can see every wrinkle and gray hair that Mobius has. He’s painfully human. Loki closes his eyes, leaning forward to press his lips against Mobius’s temple. 

“Do you mean it?” He asks. “Will it stick? Are you going to call it all off?” At this angle, Mobius can reach Loki’s neck, and he begins to suck on the delicate skin there. Loki lets out a moan. 

“I can’t promise we’re gonna get married and be together forever,” Mobius teases Loki lightly. He runs his tongue over Loki’s Adam’s Apple. “But I’m not gonna stop just because of the TVA. You.. you’re worth more than that.” Mobius slides his palms under Loki’s shirt and up his back, and Loki melts into him. “I promise.”

“Okay,” Loki says, because that’s all there is to say. He trusts Mobius, Loki realizes. He wholeheartedly does. 

“Loki,” Mobius says, exhaling. “Can I touch you? Do you want me to touch you?”

Loki straightens, catching Mobius’s eye. 

“Yes.”

[monicashipslokius]

Soulmates, Actually Pt 3

(read Part 1/Part 2)

Soulmates protect each other.

Loki paces the length of the small bathroom, turning after only two steps. On each turn they catch sight of themself in the mirror, as hard as they try not to. They don’t want to see the cowardice marring their own features. They don’t want to face themself, knowing they are standing here in relative safety at the cost of their soulmate’s.

Through the thin walls, Loki hears another pound on the front door. Mobius calls out, “I’m coming, I’m coming!”

Loki stops pacing and presses their ear to the bathroom door, straining to hear outside of it.

After the creak of a door opening, Mobius says, “Can I help you?”

“Are you Mobius M. Mobius?” Thor has a weakness for Midgard and its people. Even as he speaks to Mobius now, his voice isn’t quite as booming as Loki is accustomed to.

“That’s me. Are you selling something?”

“I...? No. May I enter?”

“I’d prefer if you didn’t. I’m kind of busy, you know?”

“I see,” Thor says. “Wait! I’m looking for someone.”

“Sorry,” Mobius says. The door creaks again, loud, like it tried to close but was blocked by a hard shoulder.

“I must insist,” Thor says, and there’s the booming authority Loki expected. Heavy footfalls step into the apartment. Loki instinctively leans away from the bathroom door. “Do you live here, or is this a closet?”

“Hey, why does everyone think that,” Mobius says, his following footsteps much softer. “My apartment is not that small.”

“It is,” Thor says, blunt as ever, though perhaps his own time on Midgard changed him a small amount, because he immediately adds, “But... nice. Very... brown.” A long, awkward pause. “Seeing this... I feel apologies are in order. I cannot imagine Loki hiding here.”

Loki knows that their usual love of decadent flair is what’s saving them now, but the words still sting. It’s one thing for them to think disparagingly about their new home. It is entirely another for someone else to speak badly of it. Even Thor.

Maybe especially Thor.

“It seems silly now,” Thor says. “I had heard you are their soulmate.”

“It doesn’t seem all that silly,” Mobius says, voice much softer.

“I mean no offense,” Thor says. “Only that you are not their type.”

“Oh? Too old?”

Thor laughs. “Too human. But consider yourself lucky, friend."

"I don't know, I'd think it'd be okay to be the soulmate of a god."

"Not this god," Thor says, and that familiar self-hatred claws at Loki's ribcage from the inside out. They place their hand over their chest, physically pressing down on the feeling, but it does not stop.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Mobius clips his words short.

Loki braces themself as Thor continues, "They never stay with anyone for long. They haven’t met a person yet who could hold their interest.”

“Maybe they just hadn’t met the right person,” Mobius says, stronger.

"Right people tend not to hang around my brother. You may have noticed that they are..." Thor pauses and Loki holds their breath. "A villain." Thor, at least, sounds pained to say it, though that is little comfort for Loki.

The word shouldn't hurt them. It is true. Despite their glorious purpose, they will never be seen as a hero, but only ever as the one who stands in the hero's way.

“Or instead," Mobius says, stronger still. Irritation oozes from his words. "Maybe they got so used to being seen as a villain that they started to think that’s all they are.”

The scratching in Loki's chest slows until it ceases entirely. Mobius.

But the calming effect of Mobius's defensive fury does not linger.

Thor holds his tongue a moment, and in that moment, a thick dread buds in the pit of Loki’s stomach. Thor may be oblivious at times, but he is not totally obtuse. And Mobius is angry enough for even him to take notice.

“Have you seen Loki, Mobius M. Mobius?”

“I think you should leave now,” Mobius says.

“So it’s true?” Thor asks, like he still doesn’t believe it. “You are Loki’s soulmate?”

“You don’t have to say it like that.”

“They must be deceiving you. Tell me where they are, and I will take them back to Asgard. Then you will be safe.”

“Loki’s not going anywhere with you,” Mobius says, stupidly brave. Stupidly perfect.

Outside a storm brews. Thunder rumbles the walls, as loud as Thor’s voice. “Do not stand in my way, Mobius M. Mobius.”

“No, you don’t get to order me around,” Mobius says. “You barge into my home and try to kidnap my soulmate. You didn’t even do it at a reasonable hour. We were asleep!”

“I am a god.” Lightning cracks outside the window, the light so bright, it flashes under the door of the bathroom. “You are a human.”

Mobius huffs out a breath. “I’m not giving them up. You’ll just have to kill me.”

Every nerve in Loki’s body, every pulse in their brain, the very breath in their  lungs - all scream, No!

The bathroom door flies off its hinges from the force of Loki pushing through. Their daggers are in their hands, their armor has replaced their silk pajamas - there is no room for softness here.

Mobius glances behind him from where he’s standing, blocking the bathroom from Thor in the kitchen. “You broke the door,” Mobius says, entirely too calm for a man who was just about to throw his life away.

“We are going to discuss your blatant disregard for your own fragile life,” Loki tells him, stalking forward to Mobius’s side.

“I had it under control,” Mobius says.

Loki sucks in a deep breath to try to tamper down their roaring rage. “No longer will you risk yourself for me.”

“No, sorry, Loki.” Mobius crosses his arms. “You don’t get to boss me around either. I told you, soulmates protect each other. And that’s that.”

“You stupid, brave, impossible man.”

“Dying for you would be worth it.”

“And what am I to do at that point? Hm? Bid your corpse a fond farewell and move along?”

Mobius startles, like he hadn’t thought ahead that far. “Yeah, I guess.”

If Loki wasn’t holding daggers, they would grip him by the shoulders and shake him. “You have no idea what you are to me. You have no perception of how long I have waited for you. For us. For this tiny little room. For everything we shared last night. And all that we will share.”

Mobius’s eyes widen. “Loki -”

“No, Mobius. You will not be throwing your life away. Not now. Not ever. Not while I have strength enough to hold a blade.”

Mobius blinks. The surprise on his face lasts a moment longer, then softens entirely into fondness. “Let’s go to the store later. Buy some stuff. Spruce this place up a little. We can get a plant or two. And maybe a new bathroom door.”

Loki exhales, and the harshest of their anger slips away. “Only if we also buy you new clothes.”

“Hey, what’s wrong with my clothes?” Mobius is smiling now.

Loki almost mirrors it. Until he remembers their thunderous brother occupying the entire minuscule kitchen. Thor seems to lack his usual righteousness. Instead, he looks between Loki and Mobius like he has no idea what to make of them. His mouth hangs open but no sound comes out.

A moment, Thor tries, “Brother, you...” He closes his mouth. Opens it. “You... actually care for this little man?”

Loki’s answer comes easier than even they expected, “Yes.”

“I’m not that little,” Mobius says.

Outside the storm clears away and starlight returns. Inside, Thor lowers his hammer to his side, no longer holding it ready to fight. He stares at Loki for a long moment. “We thought you were dead. We mourned you.”

Loki’s impulse is to argue. They aren’t yet numb to the pain of Odin’s deception. Of Loki’s own monstrous truth.

But instead of drudging forward that pain, Loki draws strength from Mobius beside them. From the comfort of their home. From the promise of buying new drapes and bed sheets.

“I’m not going back,” Loki says, hating the way their voice cracks. Mobius inches closer to their side, and they stand taller.

“You cannot rule Midgard,” Thor says.

Loki glances at Mobius, who gives them a soft smile.

“Mostly,” Loki says, “I want to buy drapes.”

Mobius’s smile widens, and he dips his head, as if to hide it. Loki loses themself in the sight of such softness and warmth, until they remember their brother again.

Thor watches them, his confusion palpable. “This is not at all as father said it was.”

Loki tenses at the mention of Odin.

“A lot’s different since yesterday,” Mobius says. “Dubuque can really change a person, you know?” Mobius winks at Loki, and a fresh wave of comfort rolls through them.

“Yes,” Loki says. “Dubuque.”

“Perhaps I could return without you,” Thor says, confusion shifting gradually into something more sure. “If you hand over the tesseract.”

Loki pointedly refrains from glancing at the coat closet. As, to Loki’s surprise, does Mobius. Surely he had seen them place the scepter within. Surely he could parse together what the tesseract could be.

“You wouldn’t need it to buy drapes.” Thor’s grip tightens on the handle of Mjolnir, but he does not yet raise it again.

Loki’s body tenses like a bowstring. There is no way out of this then, without a fight. “You have no comprehension of its power, brother. Of what I could have, what I could achieve with it in my possession. With what I’ve been promised.”

“Promised?” Thor asks. “Promised by who?”

A chill creeps over Loki’s skin, inch by slow inch. They think of the creatures that invade their mind, that found them when they fell from the Bifrost.

You could have this, they whisper, even now. You are nothing without this.

“Loki?” Mobius whispers. “Are you okay?”

Shaking their mind free from the dark grasp, Loki thoughts travel instead to those same creatures wrapping Mobius in their viciousness. Tearing him down. Exploiting his deepest vulnerabilities.

The cold runs deep, all consuming.

With the tesseract still in Loki’s possession, maybe they could protect Mobius. Or, the opposite. Maybe those creatures will never stop hunting them until Loki finally does as they command.

When it was Loki alone, forgotten and fallen, following the icy commands was no question, when both vengeance and a crown were promised.

But Loki is no longer alone.

To Loki’s surprise, concern covers Thor’s face as well, and he has taken a step closer, hand half-lifted, as if in a halted attempt to reach out to them.

“The tesseract will not bring you happiness, Loki,” Thor says, and motions toward Mobius. “Not in the way your soulmate can. You must make a choice.”

“They don’t have to chose,” Mobius says. “I’m staying with them, regardless of what they want to do.”

“But they must,” Thor tells him. “I will be leaving here with either Loki or the tesseract. I’d prefer to do it without a fight.”

Mobius takes a step forward. “I already told you, Loki isn’t going anywhere.”

“If forced, I will take you both to Asgard,” Thor says.

Loki thinks of Mobius standing before Odin, of all the brave, protective things he would say to the All-Father in Loki’s defense. And Loki thinks of how fast Odin would cut him down, Loki’s soulmate or not.

“No,” Loki says.

Soulmates protect each other.

Loki disappears their daggers, then goes to the closet and draws open the door. They reach through Mobius’s brown suits and retrieve the scepter. It’s cold in their hand.

They could grab Mobius and teleport away. Together, they could go anywhere. Thor would need time to track them down. But they’d have to keep running. They’d never be able to stop.

Loki thinks of Mobius, sweating in the desert. Humans are weak, fragile things. Mobius would not be able to sustain that kind of life.

The scepter, the creatures, whisper to Loki, He will die anyway. Why shouldn't you have more?

"All my life, I’ve been in your shadow,” Loki says to Thor. Thor lifts his hammer, readying for the fight to come. “This is my chance to carve my own path. To find my own throne. The Midgardians are hapless. They are in desperate need of a ruler.”

Loki looks at Mobius and finds him watching Thor, body tense like he intends to jump in the way if Thor were to attack. He will die anyway.

“There is no happiness in the promise of a throne, Loki.” Thor frowns, and after a brief, sideways glance at Mobius, his eyes turn sad. “We have waited the same for a soulmate. You have found yours, while I am still waiting. I ask you, who lives in envy of who?”

A new feeling twists inside Loki - something like... pity? For Thor? No. Impossible. Thor has had a life filled with all of his whims being catered to. Ever the favorite. The favored.

Yet.

Thor has no Mobius of his own.

He will die anyway. But. Not yet. Not yet.

“To be honest,” Mobius says, drawing Loki’s attention. “Humans are kind of a drag. We fight all the time, can’t agree on anything. I know that’s half why you think you can fix it all, but really, it sounds like a bigger headache than it’s worth.” He shrugs. “You and I, we’ll do whatever you want. I’ve got your back 100%. But... if you were King of Earth, do you get any vacation days? Cause I got some places I really want to take you.”

Looking at Mobius, hearing his words, listening to the steady cadence of his voice, Loki warms from the inside out.

“We need to go to the beach. You saw my jetski picture, right?” Mobius turns to Thor. “You ever been on a jetski?”

Thor blinks at him. “...No?”

“You’ll love it. It’s so much fun. Out on the waves, just you and the ocean - with the wind in your hair, and the sun all bright.” Mobius turns his smile back to Loki, and Loki doubts any sunshine could ever be as brilliant as him. “What do you think, Loki?”

The cruel whispers grow dim. Thoughts of, You are nothing without a crown, are replaced with, What worth is a crown without him?

The chill burns away, until the scepter is too cold, too painful to hold.

Loki moves closer to the kitchen. Thor raises his hammer. Mobius hurries forward.

But everyone stops when Loki surrenders the scepter - the tesseract - to Thor. As soon as it is gone from their hand, Loki feels a heavy weight lifted away. The chill leaves entirely, and their mind is silent once more.

“You’ve made the right choice, brother,” Thor says. They lower Mjolnir to the ground to look closer at the scepter.

“Odin will not be pleased when you return without me,” Loki says.

Thor hums. “I will pass along your promise to behave yourself.”

“I made no such promise.” With Loki’s new weightlessness, a small, sly smirk slips onto their lips. It's shaky and unsure, but Thor doesn't mention it.

Thor slides his gaze to Mobius. “I think you will have your hands too full to do otherwise, with how quickly this one throws himself into trouble.” He pitches his voice low. “I like him. He’s small, but brave.”

Pride swells in Loki. They didn’t need Thor’s approval, but having it...

“Mobius M. Mobius!” Thor walks to Mobius and draws him into a tight hug. “Now my brother. I await the day our paths cross again!”

Mobius awkwardly pats him on the back. “Yeah, sure! Sounds great.”

As they break, Loki begins to steer Thor toward the door. Thor looks as if he also wants to wrap Loki in a hug, but thankfully thinks better of it. Instead, he simply says, "We will see each other again."

"We will," Loki says, a promise. And for now, it is enough.

Thor starts forward, when Mobius calls out, “Wait, you forgot your hammer.”

Loki and Thor both turn away from the door, toward the kitchen - where Mobius stands, hand gripping Mjolnir’s handle, holding it up off the ground. He brings it forward and hands it to Thor, who stares at him, mouth agape.

Mobius says, “Surprisingly light?”

Loki bites back a smile. They knew their soulmate was no ordinary mortal.

Thor looks at Mobius like he’s seeing him for the first time. “Only to those who are worthy. You are small in stature, but not in heart, Mobius M. Mobius.”

“Uh, thanks?” Mobius says. Softer, he adds, “I’m really not that small.”

*

When Thor is gone, with the slightly damaged front door bolted behind him, Mobius turns to Loki and says, “Told you I’d get rid of him.”

Loki reaches out, grabs Mobius by the shoulders, and pulls him into their embrace. They do not let go for a long time.

Mobius holds them back, nose tucked into the crook of Loki’s neck and shoulder. “I would have followed you,” he says, voice muffled. “You want to be king? We’d make it happen. You didn’t have to give it up.”

Loki will tell him of the whispers and the cold, of the dark promises made. Later. “Perhaps another time,” they say. “Plenty of life to find a throne of my own.” Though as the words leave them, they know they are only half true. Plenty of time for Loki. No time at all for Mobius. The creatures no longer whisper in Loki's mind but they still hear their mocking, He will die.

“I was thinking we could get a couple chairs while we’re out.”

Loki can’t help and doesn’t stop their grin, even as their heart aches. “See? My fortune is already changing.”

“I’ll buy you the best throne,” Mobius says. “You ever heard of La-Z-Boy?”

Loki closes their eyes, presses their forehead to Mobius's shoulder, and wonders how, with the cruel inevitability of human mortality, they will ever go on without this man.

[saber-of-dreams]

Lamentis - An Analysis

If we’re being honest here, there’s probably enough material to look at the entire episode in extensive detail, but that would take forever and I’ve got work tomorrow.  Funny story - I had originally put “A Brief Analysis” in the title...then I realized it wasn’t actually brief anymore.  😀

So for now, I wanted to do a quick analysis of the scenes between Loki and Sylvie once they make it onto the train, because this is where the whole dynamic between them shifts.

It’s interesting that we start out talking about Frigga - about family.  Loki’s biggest soft spot.  Especially now that he’s seen what happens to him in his original timeline, and now that he understands that his family did in fact love him.  

And we see how having them - Frigga, in particular, has affected Loki’s development.  Not just his skill in magic, but his true nature.  He becomes noticeably softer, gentler, when he talks about his adopted mother.  Whatever the circumstances, he truly loved her.  And although this Loki never made it to that point where he sent her to her death, he still knows that he would have done it.  And he still feels that regret.  This is also echoed in the first episode when he reads about the destruction of Asgard.  Family is family, regardless of your blood.

We also figure out Sylvie pretty quickly here too.  We see that she is abysmally lonely.  Jumpy.  Untrusting.  And then we find out that she never really knew her family, but that they had the decency to tell her she was adopted and allow her to process that information positively as a child.  It’s an interesting parallel for them both - Loki who grew up with the family, but didn’t know he was adopted, and Sylve who grew up knowing she was adopted, but lost her family so early.  Equal but opposite.

This is all perfectly encapsulated in that moment where Loki does the mini fireworks for her.  It’s a genuine gesture meant to do nothing but make her smile, and pull her out of the dark place she seems to have gone.  And it works.  

And then he follows it up with a genuine question about her own powers.  And you can hear the amazement, the respect, in his voice when she explains that she taught herself.  

We then move almost directly into the subject of love.  And again, we see the juxtaposition of their two lives.  Loki having relationships/lovers but no real depth and Sylvie having no real relationships at all, possibly only physical experience - the non-attached variety (in case that wasn’t obvious from the dialogue).  

The key piece of dialogue here?  Loki saying “Nothing ever...” and Sylvie supplying the word to finish the thought - “real.”

Love is kind of like a recipe.  You need a few key ingredients, in just the right measure added just the right way to create something truly spectacular.

See here’s the thing - it is so much harder to see someone as an enemy, when you know them.  Maybe you don’t know everything.  But you know enough.  You understand.  Ingredient one - compassion/understanding.  Again, we see that here.  You have to know someone.  And that requires honest engagement.  No masks.  No lies.  Just blatant, heart-wrenching truth.  Family.  Love.  

You also need respect.  Genuine, un-assuming, respect for another person.  For their abilities/skills/personality traits - doesn’t matter.  But if you don’t respect them - you don’t love them.  Now obviously it takes a while to develop true respect for someone, but again, this scene is the start of that for them.  

Loki is impressed by Sylvie’s ability to teach herself magic, and Sylvie is impressed by Loki’s obvious skill with illusion.  And given the multiple fights the two have had, I would imagine they see each other as competent fighters.  Not to mention their various plans to get them to this stage working out/working together.

Okay.  I’m going to step away from the recipe we’re crafting here for a moment so I can talk about The Song - part deux (I did a brief analysis on that yesterday).  But instead of analyzing the content of the song this time, I want to analyze the moments around it.

Now, Sylvie wakes up in the middle of it, so I sincerely doubt that Loki started singing it with any deliberate attempt to serenade her - but - when she wakes up?  And he notices?  He immediately turns to her - and sings the true centerpiece of the song (the adventurer/warrior trying to find his way back to the maiden who waits for him) directly at her.  Literally.  He turns his body to face her directly.  He sings to her.  And you know, literally dedicates the song to her when he’s done.

You know that bubbly, excited feeling you get, when you start crushing on someone?  That joy that just kinda...makes everything a little brighter?  That’s Loki here - aided by quite a bit of alcohol.  He has dropped his walls, and is trying to let Sylvie in.  He has been nothing but honest with her since they got on the train, and he’s starting to develop real feelings for her.  I think their conversation really made him see that - not that he actually consciously understands that (that doesn’t happen until next episode when Mobius has to actually spell it out for him).

Sylvie?  She thinks he’s an idiot.  Being the center of attention like that?  Actively seeking out that attention?  Completely foreign to her.  And, as she points out, someone noticed him and goes to tip off the real guards.  But the other thing here is - this dynamic also foreshadows episode 6 - Loki is focused on Sylvie, and on helping others (i.e. when he finds out the TVA agents are all varients too).  Sylvie is focused on her mission to the exclusion of all else - regardless of the feelings that she too may be developing for him.  Interestingly, I noticed a super tiny smile on Sylvie’s face when Loki said “To Sylvie, everybody!” 

Now, Loki’s lines about love being a dagger are very interesting.  Not only is it a great way to see how he perceives the emotion, but it’s also a really nice metaphor for the two of them.  

Love is a dagger.

It’s a weapon.  

To be wielded.

Far away - or up close

You can see yourself in it.

It’s beautiful.

Until it makes you bleed.

Okay.  Back to our recipe.

You need an intersection point - where two opposing people with two opposing ideals meet in the middle.  But.  That intersection?  It has to be mutual and it has to be consensual.  You have to be willing to meet someone else half way - to attempt to see things from their perspective, before you step forward.

You cannot force someone to see past their own blindness.

Loki and Sylvie take that next step in a few parts - and sorry folks, but I’m going to pick this up in a future post.  I just realized how late it is and I do need to be semi-functional for work tomorrow.  

Until next time.  😉

[hard-boiled-criminal]

Venus Ambassador - 1

Loki x gender neutral reader

Loki tv spoilers

Prologue

You could feel your frustration build as you read through a court hearing where the judge and the defendant just kept going in circles, repeating themselves over and over and you were sick of it.

With a groan, you tossed it back on to the desk and leaned back in your chair, massaging your temples to try and soothe your growing headache.

‘I wasn’t made for all this legal shit,’ you thought, frustrated and annoyed. ‘Couldn’t they have, I don’t know, spiced it up a bit for me at least? All I’m asking for is maybe some more information on these different worlds and species. It’d be good to know what the heck a Daijiq is, not about how “x did this and altered the timeline so we gotta dust ‘em” and all that boring bullshit. They’re just having me read the court transcripts and write documents about how my dimension works. Not to mention making me watch that Hanna-Barbera-esque cartoon and then quizzing me on it.’

With another groan of mental pain you slouched back forward.

“You know what? Maybe I just need a (tea/coffee) break. Yeah, that sounds nice.”

You stand up from your chair and stretch, groaning as your bones and muscles protest at moving after being idle for so long. Thankfully, you were able to easily convince the TVA to provide you with a (tea/coffee) maker, which now sat and a small table in the corner of the room. You purposely placed it in the corner furthest away from your desk so that you’d be forced to get up and stretch your legs every so often, lest your muscles waste away into nothingness.

As your beverage was brewing, two knocks rapped at your office door. Before you could respond, they let themselves in. They held up a manilla folder and gave you a nod.

“New variant case.”

“Thanks.”

They placed the folder on your desk and promptly left. It seems neither you nor the TVA were still quite used to each other’s presence, despite you being here for a month already. You couldn’t really blame them. Afterall, your dimension’s inner workings completely went against their own and their ideals.

With a sigh, ‘more paperwork. Great,’ you head back to your desk with your piping hot drink. Not wanting to pick up that dreadfully boring court transcript you were reading, you decided you might as well take a look at the new file.

You take a sip of your drink as you open the file and gasp, accidentally letting in too much of the almost-boiling drink. You immediately start coughing and sputtering, and your tongue is definitely burned. After your coughing fit subsides, you rub your eyes and look at the file again in disbelief. You had only learned that this was the TVA in the Marvel Cinematic Universe last week; you weren’t expecting one of the characters to be here as a variant so soon!

Loki.

Drink forgotten on the desk, you grab the file and rush out of the room. You couldn’t let your anxiety take over now, not when you had the chance to meet the Loki. If we were talking about problematic favorites, then they were number one on the list. ‘I mean, they’re a villain and they’re hot. What was I supposed to do? Not simp over them?’ You knew Loki would be here eventually, having seen the trailers for the tv show, but when you arrived here, you had no idea what point of the timeline you were at. The show hadn’t aired yet, so you have no idea what’s to come. That thought makes you both nervous and excited.

It doesn’t take you long to reach the circulation desk. You hand the file to the person sitting there, and a bit out of breath you ask, “that variant… where are they?”

They give you a strange look before looking through their own files. “It looks like they are currently with Agent Mobius in Time Theater A, floor 2WE.”

“Thank you,” you hurriedly grab the file and speed-walk to the elevator. You’re not about to risk running through halls filled with armed TVA that could vaporize you with a single tap from their zappy sticks, especially since it seemed many of them didn’t quite like you. Luckily, there’s an elevator close by and you get there quickly, waiting for it to come to your floor after hitting the button. As soon as you confirm the elevator is empty after the doors open, you rush in and hit the button labelled ‘2WE.’ Now stuck with nothing to do but wait, your mind finally has a chance to catch you up on all the anxiety you forgot about—all those doubts that started to build up, wondering if this was a good idea. You start to pace around the small space as nerves get the better of you, nearly jumping out of your skin when the elevator dings and the doors slide open. There’re people rushing about, like always, and you do your best to squeeze past them to Time Theater A.

You slip through the theater doors as quickly as possible, letting out a quick sigh of relief as soon as you’re out of the crowd. You look up, and there he is, sitting on the steps to your left, face in hands and tesseract beside him.

He looks so… lost.

“Um, are you okay?” You asked without thinking, immediately berating yourself in your head. ‘Stupid! Of course, he’s not okay! They just got kidnapped by the TVA and now look at them! He looks so… despaired? Unsure? Like everything he thought he knew was a lie? Again?!’

He glances up at you, slightly lifting his head out of his hands and raises an eyebrow.

You stand there awkwardly for a couple seconds, not quite sure what to do. ‘They seem like a tea person; I should’ve brought tea… wait, shit, I don’t have a thermos. There’s no way I could bring some tea all the way down here without spilling it all over myself and—okay, you know what. Fuck it,’ you leave all caution to the wind and walk over to him, sitting on the steps to his left.

“…that was a stupid question, wasn’t it?” you said, letting out a single self-deprecating huff of laughter. A moment of silence passed between the two of you. You take a deep breath. “It’s okay to feel things, you know. It’s also okay to let others see that you feel things. I know that it’s hard, but sometimes it’s easier with a stranger. So, if you want to, you can…vent? Fuck, sorry, I can’t think of the other word for it, and you don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with—actually, you know what, forget it, just forget I said anything at all and now I’m rambling and making a fool of myself—okay, deep breaths.”

You felt absolutely mortified. He you were, tiny insignificant mortal you, trying to comfort a literal deity who you may or may not simp for and making a complete fool of yourself. This time, it’s your turn to bury your face in your hands. You want to scream in frustration at yourself, but there’s no way you’d do that in front of them. You peek at them between your fingers to see that he’s looking at you with confusion written on his face.

“Heheh… sorry about that. I tend to ramble a lot… especially when I don’t know what to do,” you take another deep breath and turn to look at them. “But where are my manners. I’m (y/n), nice to meet you—"

“Loki,” Agent Mobius cuts you off as he enters the room, wielding the phaser stick.

‘This… this is not a good situation right now, is it?’

Hey. I know some people (like myself) like to be added to the taglist so… if you wanna… lemme know and I’ll slap your name on it. Ok. So. I’m going to try to update this weekly as the episodes air. Maybe biweekly if I need to cut some chapters in half because they’re long and I wanna post what I’ve finished so far. But maybe, just maybe, as we get further into the series, I’ll drop some little omakes here and there, small fluffy interactions…

[chipper9906]

Heal The Cracks Within My Heart - Chapter 7: Slip Of The Silver Tongue

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WARNING: SPOILERS FOR LOKI SEASON 1 EPISODE 6 ‘FOR ALL TIME. ALWAYS.’

Pairings: Loki/Sylvie

Rating: General Audiences

Chapter Word Count: 8,223

Overall Word Count: 65,405

Status: Multi Chapter Fic - In Progress (7/?)

Chapter Preview:

Loki grunts — a terribly well-thought-out argument — taking a moment at the top of the stairs to wait for his vision to stop swimming. “Didn’t I ask you to stop me from pouring any more drinks?” “You did,” Sylvie agrees. “You also then proceeded to tell me that ‘one more drink couldn’t hurt’, called the waitress over for the last of their wine stores, and then nearly stabbed that wannabe knight who started getting grabby with me.”

“He deserved worse,” Loki mumbled darkly, letting Sylvie guide him towards the room she had booked for them. “Not that I had to do anything, of course. By the time I had gotten my daggers out, you had already dented his cranium with your tankard.”

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* * *

This wasn’t the first time Sylvie had seen someone fall victim to shock.

It usually happened when there was a specific sweet spot in the time it takes for an Apocalyptic event to occur. If it happens quickly, then most people don’t have time to actually react to it. That was probably the better option, where they didn’t know what was coming. The slower Apocalypses, like Lamentis or Miiphus, were some of the worst. The people of those Apocalypses were often unable to accept their fate. There was always that little stubborn bit of hope they clung onto, trying everything in their power to change their fate. Of course, they never could change it, because the Apocalypse of their world was written in stone. It had to happen, in accordance with His timeline. 

But then there were some in the middle… the ones where the people could see the end coming. They knew there was nothing they could do to stop it, and He Who Remains was cruel enough to give them just enough time where all they could do was stand there and realize this before everything they ever knew and loved was destroyed. 

That’s the times she saw people in a state of being… shell-shocked. Not all, of course. Most screamed, most ran, some… showed the crueler side of their nature in the face of the end. But a few people did nothing. She supposed they could be feeling despair in that moment, more than likely some terror, but… they don’t show it on their face. Their expressions are often next to impossible to read, like their mind had just… shut off.

She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that that was what was happening to Loki.

She didn’t like it. Not one bit. Loki wasn’t like this. Loki was sharp and attentive, his razor-sharp wit and equally sharp tongue one of many traits that helped keep him alive. That Loki? He was gone, buried deep somewhere inside this empty shell of a man that weakly clung to her hand, pushing through the snow gathered around their feet like he hadn’t even registered it was there. 

Sylvie’s head snaps to the right, to where she heard the sound of pounding hooves barely muted by the thick blanket of snow. She just about gets a glimpse of a band of riders galloping down the path towards them before she jumps behind a tree, dragging Loki with her. Thankfully, he still seems to have some sense of self-preservation left in him, willingly letting her pull him towards her until they were both pressed against each other, flattening themselves against the tree. 

Sylvie winces at the rough bark pressing against her back, the thin and flimsy material of the TVA shirt and blazer providing little to no protection. Loki’s breathing is loud and shallow right next to her ear, the two of them pressed so tightly together that she can feel the rise and fall of his chest. The booming sound of the horses gallops slowly fades away as the riders pass them by, and it’s only then that Sylvie changes her clothes with a shrug of her shoulders and a burst of magic, re-materializing her usual clothing and ridding herself of a uniform she hopes she never has to wear again. 

“Where… where are we?” Loki asks, and Sylvie had never been so glad to hear his voice. He slowly pushes away from her, scanning their surroundings with wide eyes like he couldn’t figure out how they had got here. 

“Earth,” Sylvie brings his attention back to her, not bothering to hide the worry on her face. 

“Those riders…” Loki looks to where the riders had disappeared between the thick thatches of trees, white puffs of condensation materializing from his mouth as he spoke. “Last I remember of my time on Earth, not many people carried swords... What year did you take us to?”

“Eighth century,” answered Sylvie, giving Loki’s hand a gentle squeeze to bring his attention back to her when he continued to stare out into the distance. “I know a place that's not too far. Are you… are you okay to walk?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Loki shoots Sylvie a strained smile that knocks away some of the reassurance she felt that he was starting to come back to himself, wishing that far-away look in his eyes would be gone. Loki weakly gestures with a wave of his hand in the direction they had been walking in. “Lead the way.”

* * *

Not once during their trek does Sylvie let go of his hand. Sometimes it felt like the only thing anchoring Loki to reality was her, and that if she let go, he would simply cease to exist. 

Loki doesn’t hound her with his usual questions or provide insightful commentary on their surroundings. She… missed it, actually. Not just because their absence further proves that something with Loki isn’t quite right, but also because… to put it bluntly, she missed him. She missed hearing his voice, and missed feeling annoyed at hearing his voice. 

...What was she talking about? She was thinking like Loki was dead, with his hand wrapped around hers, and his stumbling footsteps just behind her. He was still there, she knew that, he just… needed some time, is all. It wasn’t like he was going to quickly bounce back from…

Gods, had that really happened? Mobius was… he was… 

Why did this hurt? Mobius was a man who had chased her across branches, hunting her down like it was for sport. She had only known him briefly, and this Mobius wasn’t even the one they knew. And yet… his death left an oddly hollow feeling in her chest that she knows must be immense and suffocating inside of Loki’s. 

That was why, she supposed. It just seemed to be the way it worked with them. Mobius’s death was clearly wreaking havoc on Loki’s emotions, overwhelming him with levels of guilt and pain that he was struggling to handle. Loki was hurting, and just from that, she was hurting too. Loki was mourning the loss of his friend, and so she was mourning, too. 

But she couldn’t let herself fall into it like Loki was. If she’s the only one of them that can tread on the surface of despair Loki was sinking into and keep the both of them afloat? Then that’s just what she’ll have to do. 

The sight of the little building nestled within the forest brings with it a much-needed air of relief. The columns of smoke billowing from the inn’s chimney gave promises of alluring warmth and shelter from the cold — not that it bothered them all that much — and more importantly, the drunken patrons stumbling out of the front door that struggled to climb atop their horses gave promises of a much-needed drink. 

“Hang on.” Sylvie comes to a stop, holding out a hand to stop Loki from walking any further forward. There was still enough distance and cover provided by the forest that no one would be able to spot them just yet. “It’s probably best that you change out of your clothes, too. We’re probably going to get a decent amount of stares with me wearing armor. I can’t imagine these people will react too well to seeing someone in an office get up.”

“Right…” Loki nods his head, peering at the handful of people of this time that stood around the entrance to the Inn, friendly smiles on their faces as they conversed whilst simultaneously keeping one hand placed atop the hilt of their swords. His eyes scan meticulously over their clothing, taking note of every small detail he can see that may be of use.

Loki moves closer towards the cover of a nearby tree, blocking out most of the light from his magic as he changes his wardrobe. What he wore was quite similar to his usual Asgardian armor, being mostly comprised of leather as most other pieces of armor from this time period on Earth seemed to be. Thankfully, the dark colors of his clothing seemed to be a common theme amongst others he had seen so far, so it wasn’t like they would have to worry over this Earth’s people scrutinizing their coloring choice. 

Sylvie raised an eyebrow at the addition of some sort of fur wrap that ran along the collar and flowed down his back like… well, like a cape, it looked like. The fur was as dark in color, as was the rest of his outfit, the muted light from the cloud-covered sun barely able to show whether it was a very dark brown, or was simply black. 

“People might look at us strangely if we’re walking around in freezing temperatures without a coat,” Loki says when he catches sight of her questioning look. 

Sylvie had to admit that he had a point there. Before she can say anything or do anything in response, Loki had manifested a similar fur-lined coat in his hands. Sylvie raises a hand up, intending to take it from him, but of course Loki instead chooses to reach across her and drape it around her shoulders. He tucks the lapels of the coat together, waiting for Sylvie to reach out and grab hold of the lapels to keep it tightly wrapped around herself before letting go. 

“There -- now we match,” Loki says with a soft smile that struggles to reach his eyes. “Also should help to reduce some of the stares at seeing a woman in armor…”

Loki and Sylvie continue towards the beckoning light spilling out from the Inn, the layer of snow under their feet steadily shifting to well-worn paths of mud and compacted snow. Only once do Loki’s feet nearly slide out from under him, but it takes everything in Sylvie not to crackup into laughter as she catches his arm to steady him. 

The group of people milling about the door don’t even bat an eyelid at them as they squeeze by, evidently too invested in whatever conversations they were having to pay attention to the passing strangers. Even as Frost Giants, the blast of warmth that hits them as they push open the heavy wooden door is nothing less than a blessing. They both kick away the stubborn bits of mud and snow that clung to their boots, thankful to see only a few curious pub-goers had turned to see the newcomers. They apparently decided they weren’t of much interest, turning their attention back to their company and whatever alcoholic beverage was contained within the mugs in their hands. 

Sylvie catches sight of a small table that is blessedly empty, tucked away within the corner of the room and away from the line of sight of eyes that might be a little too curious. Loki trails behind as Sylvie leads them to it, waiting for her to slide into place on one of the rickety-looking wooden benches before taking a seat for himself opposite. 

The Inn was lit only by the fireplace that sat within the middle of the back wall, which also provided the old building with the much-needed heat against the bitter cold of the winter they had stepped into. Usually, Loki would be doing the same as Sylvie is right now: taking note of every exit, every potentially unsavory individual; preparing for the possibility of things going south, and figuring out whether running or fighting would be the best option depending on what went down. 

But right now… he was tired. Drained. A part of him wanted to… to slip back into that uncaring facade. It had been his best line of defense, and now, the mask no longer seemed to fit. 

“Be back in a minute,” Sylvie tells him in passing as she springs up from the table. She squeezes his shoulder as she passes, which he’s nearly unable to feel through the thick layer of fur that covered it. 

She comes back moments later with two shoddily crafted metal cups in hand, one being more like a goblet in shape, and the other more like a tankard of some sort. She places the silver goblet on the table in front of him, before dropping back down onto the bench and claiming the tankard for herself. 

“Kinda just guessed you’d want wine,” Sylvie tells him as he pulls the goblet towards him and peers down into its contents. “I’d ask for something stronger, but uh… we’re sort of limited to a few options here.”

“How did you pay for these?” Loki asks, the first genuine hint of amusement she’s heard from him laced into his question.

Sylvie wiggles her eyebrows at him in response, whilst also raising her hand into the air and wiggling her fingers with a burst of lime-green light. It manages to pull the tiniest of smiles from Loki, looking down to his drink with a huffed breath of laughter. 

“Probably should have guessed that, shouldn’t I?”

“Probably,” Sylvie agrees with a smile, raising the tankard to her lips and taking a sip of the dark ale within. 

Loki mirrors her actions, although where she had taken a single sip, his ‘sip’ didn’t stop until every last drop was sucked down. Sylvie was a little impressed as she watched him chuck his head back and down the entire thing in what seemed like one swallow, but mostly… she was just worried.

“Did... did you even taste that?”

The goblet clangs loudly as Loki returns it to the table, chuckling low, deep, and slow in a way that, if it had been anyone else, probably would have made her skin crawl. “I’m not exactly drinking it for the taste.”

'Fair point,' Sylvie thought. Not one to be outdone (and because, quite frankly, she needed it), Sylvie brought her metal tankard up to her mouth, draining the entire mug in only a few swallows. Loki shot her an equally impressed look once she dropped the tankard back down to the table, which she returned with a shrug of her shoulders.

“You know, sometimes I’m jealous of the humans,” Loki says almost a little too loudly. He raises the now empty goblet in his hands up in the air, cocking his head to the side as he inspects the blacksmith’s handiwork. “Their bodies are weaker than ours… and so it’s so much easier for them to get drunk… and for longer.”

“Well, the drinks on Lamentis certainly seemed to be effective on you.” Sylvie slides the goblet out of his hands, catching the eye of a nearby waitress and summoning her over with a curl of her finger. “I would say that I’m starting to feel you have a drinking problem but…” Sylvie trails off for a moment, her mouth softly closing with a sympathetic grimace. “But… I think I need a drink about as much as you do.”

Right on cue, the waitress appears by their table, carrying two large jugs of the drinks they had previously offered. She puts one down on the table, preparing to pour the other into Loki’s goblet first to top it up, but Loki places his hand over the top of the goblet to stop her. 

“You might be better off leaving them both here,” Loki not so non-nonchalantly suggests to her with a charming smile. “Would probably save you the trips back and forth to our table.”

“I’m not sure that’s—” The woman starts to say, and it’s enough for Loki to realize it was another way of saying ‘no.’ He moves his hand from his goblet to the woman’s hand atop the handle of the jug, his smile not once wavering. No one, apart from him and Sylvie, see the green glow emitting from underneath his hands. 

“I’m just trying to make your job easier for you.”

“Yes… yes, you’re right,” The waitress agrees, looking a little dazed as she slides her hands away from Loki and the jugs. “Let me know if you need any more, and I’ll bring them right over.”

“Lovely, thank you.” The smile on Loki’s face only drops away once the waitress has turned her back to them, and it’s a harsh reminder to them both of just how good of an actor he is.

How good of a liar he is. 

"You're getting better," Sylvie notes once the waitress is out of earshot. "Won't be long before enchantment feels like second nature."

“Like you said — easier on those with simple minds. For a change of subject—" Loki picks up the jug of dark ale first, refilling Sylvie’s tankard for her before she can even ask — or say that she even wanted another one. She takes the cup once he offers it to her anyway, settling back against the uncomfortably hard wooden panels behind her. Loki doesn’t continue the rest of his sentence before he's poured himself another drink, hunched over the table as he holds onto his goblet of wine like it was a lifeline. “—What brings the end to this picturesque little location? Seems a little… small, to be classed as an Apocalypse.”

“There’s a village a few miles to the West from here.” Sylvie gestures with a flick of her head in the direction of the village. “Not a particularly large population, but… large by the standards of this time period.”

“Ah… so what brings about their end?” Loki asks like they were discussing the weather, perhaps the most emotionless smile on his face that she’s seen from him as he takes another long drink from his goblet. 

Sylvie doesn’t answer his question. Loki raises his brows when she just stares at him instead of speaking, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she leans forward against the table. “Loki… I know what you’re doing.”

Loki’s eyebrows somehow raise even higher, shooting Sylvie a bemused frown. “What… I’m doing?”

“I saw you on Miiphus. You can’t pretend like seeing all these worlds coming to an end doesn’t bother you. And now, you’re… you’re trying to pretend like you don’t care.”

“Because I don’t—”

“You do, though,” Sylvie cuts off another lie. “And I know you do, because I do. Even after all these years, even when I think I’m desensitized to it… I still care. I care that all these apocalypses happen because He decided they do. So don’t give me that. Don’t give me this… this regressed form of yourself. You know as well as I do that you’re pretending you don’t care so that it’s easier to talk about -- because you’re looking for a distraction.”

Something on Loki’s face shifts. A slip, a give to the illusion. Sylvie didn’t say what it was that he was trying to distract himself from, but it’s not like she needs to. She pushes her tankard to the side, reaching out for Loki like it was second nature. His jaw shifts by just the slightest as her hand rests atop of his, his eyes never once leaving hers. 

“If you want to talk to me… just talk to me,” Sylvie offers earnestly. “And if you can’t talk to me about… about that… then you don’t have to. I’m more than happy to act as a distraction if you want me to, just… don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. And hey -- I booked us a room upstairs in case all you want to do is drink until you pass out, and I’ll haul your drunken arse up the stairs.”

For the first time since they’ve gotten here, the half-a-smile that pulls at Loki’s lips is one she knows comes from her Loki. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, soft and quiet, and the illusion is broken. “It’s just… easier that way… Not to think about it.”

“Believe me, I know.” Sylvie lifts her hand from Loki’s, wrapping it back around her tankard and taking a sip. “And that’s something I’m working on, too. I… I want to open up to you more, even when everything inside me is screaming at me not to. So… I understand if… if you can’t talk about it.”

Loki closes his eyes, taking a deep breath in through his nose. He opens them back up again, glancing over to the nearly full jug of wine next to him, feeling very grateful for its presence. “First… you answer my previous question, about what happens here.”

“Snowstorm,” Sylvie answers, keeping her voice low as she turns her gaze towards the frost-covered windows of the Inn. “Still a few days out -- but then again, since we don’t know what timeline this is, it could be sooner… or later… or not at all.”

“At least we don’t have to worry about this one,” Loki points out, one of the only times he’s thankful for his true heritage. “Were they… not prepared for it?”

“Not really something they can predict. They prepare for winter, sure, but this…? It’s just… too much for them to handle. This apocalypse, it’s…” Sylvie shivers, not from the cold but more of a sympathetic reaction. “It’s… slow. The ones that freeze to death are the lucky ones. Others… fight a losing battle. Food runs out pretty quickly, and once their storages are gone… the fighting starts. No one makes it through to the spring.”

Loki hums sadly, dropping his gaze down to his goblet as he taps his fingers along its surface. “Did you see that often…?”

“What -- people panicking in the face of death?” Sylvie’s voice is twinged with amusement, amazed that Loki would ask a question with such an obvious answer. 

“No, that’s a given,” Loki dismisses with a wave of his hand. “More… people being reduced to their animalistic tendencies. Civilizations that took centuries to develop, reduced to bare instincts in such little time.”

Sylvie sighs heavily through her nose, taking another drink of ale before she answers. “It’s… it’s not easy to predict how we’d react in the face of death. Having been there to watch it unfold countless times… I sometimes wondered what I would do in their place. There were many times where that was almost the case. There was never a guarantee I’d make it through to the next apocalypse. Never a guarantee that the TVA wouldn’t figure out my hiding spaces before I could make my move.”

Loki drops his gaze, shoulders hunched over as the guilt forces his eyes away from hers. Like usual, Sylvie seemed to be able to read his mind, reaching out a hand to wrap around his wrist. “I know I like to tease you about it sometimes, but I don’t blame you. I know you were doing what you needed to do to survive, same as I was. And at the end of it all… you were there with me.”

“Sometimes wish it could have played out differently,” Loki mumbles, head still bowed towards his goblet of wine. “That we could have met under better circumstances.”

“How?” Sylvie asks with a chuckle. “Not many people get to meet a variant of themselves unless under very particular TVA-related circumstances -- and that’s in the off-chance they do something wrong.”

“I suppose that’s true.” Loki finally lifts his gaze back up, even if it’s only to pull the jug of wine closer and refill his goblet. He turns his attention back to Sylvie, a lazy smile stretching across his face as he lifts his goblet into the air. “And now here we are: having massively cocked up the timeline by doing what we thought was right, leading to us hunting down infinite amounts of the same dangerous, potentially — more than likely — genocidal man, who may or may not be aware of our presence, and is hunting us down in return.”

Sylvie returns his smile with one of her own, lifting up her own tankard and clinking it against Loki’s. “I’m leaning more towards the ‘may be aware’ than ‘may not’ side of him hunting us down.”

Loki agrees with a mixture of a hum and a groan as he drains yet another cup of wine, wiping away any remnants that clung to his upper lip as he lowers the cup from his mouth. “Could always use a challenge.”

“And what -- trying to kill every version of one man isn’t enough of a challenge for you?”

Loki shrugs. “Sounds like an average day to me.”

Sylvie chuckles lightly, shaking her head at him. “Keep up that confidence, and we’ll be done with this whole mess in no time.”

“And then we’ll be right back to where we were,” Loki says, the easy-going smile on his face slipping slightly. “With either one of us knowing what to do next…”

“One step at a time,” Sylvie utters softly, ducking her head to catch Loki’s eye. “It’s difficult to focus on what’s next when what’s ahead is as big as it is.”

Loki nods at her answer, dragging his goblet across the table to take another drink. Sylvie reaches out a hand to stop him before he can lift it, forcing his eyes up to meet hers. 

“But… I’d like to accept your offer, from before.”

That rouses Loki’s interest, the dreary fog that had been hanging over his head since they arrived lifting by just the slightest as his curiosity wins over. “My offer…?”

“Back in the Void, you asked me what I was going to do next.” Sylvie lowers her hand from the goblet onto Loki’s, his fingers tightening instinctively around the stem of the goblet. “I said I didn’t know.”

Loki knew all of this, of course. This very conversation, everything he had said, everything she had answered with, had been seared into his memory. But, in what was an unusual move for him, he chose to remain silent, letting Sylvie speak. 

“You asked, if…” Sylvie pauses for just a moment, darting out the tip of her tongue to wet her lips — more of a nervous gesture than anything. “…If maybe we could figure that out together.”

Loki swallows harshly — his own nervous gesture — remaining remarkably patient and quiet as he waits for Sylvie to continue. 

“And I answered with ‘maybe,’” Sylvie continues, looking as lost to the memory of that day as he was. “If the offer still stands… I’d like to change my answer to yes.”

Loki laughs which, in most cases, isn’t the most ideal of responses to such a statement. But even through the nerves that Sylvie doesn’t know how to handle does she hear the clear relief in his laughter, the warm smile on his face helping to squash down those nerves better than any spoken words ever could. 

“The offer still, as it always will do, stands.”

…But then again, she supposed those words helped, too.

* * *

A few hours later, with no TVA in sight, no snowstorm in sight, and too many drinks for them to count, it was fair enough to say that they were tip-toeing the line between ‘pleasantly tipsy’ and… downright hammered. 

“I thought you were the one that was supposed to be dragging me up the stairs.” Loki’s words come out a little more slurred than they sounded in his head, the both of them hanging onto each other for support as they climb the old wooden stairs that looked a lot more slanted than they did earlier. In fact, they seemed to be doing a remarkable job of disobeying the laws of physics and jumping away from where he intended to place his foot. 

“Says the guy leaning half of his weight on me,” Sylvie huffs, her free hand pressed against the wall for support. And… to stop them from tumbling down the stairs. 

Loki grunts — a terribly well-thought-out argument — taking a moment at the top of the stairs to wait for his vision to stop swimming. “Didn’t I ask you to stop me from pouring any more drinks?”

“You did,” Sylvie agrees. “You also then proceeded to tell me that ‘one more drink couldn’t hurt’, called the waitress over for the last of their wine stores, and then nearly stabbed that wannabe knight who started getting grabby with me.”

“He deserved worse,” Loki mumbled darkly, letting Sylvie guide him towards the room she had booked for them. “Not that I had to do anything, of course. By the time I had gotten my daggers out, you had already dented his cranium with your tankard.”

“I’ve dealt with worse,” Sylvie replies, which Loki doesn’t like the sound of at all. “Remember those ‘animalistic natures’ you talked about earlier? Well, let’s just say I’ve gotten used to dealing with people like that whilst on the run.”

Sylvie just barely manages to shove the steel key into the door’s lock, the scratch marks etched into the area of the handle around the hole itself indicating that most other drunk patrons of this Inn had dealt with the same problem. She all but leans her entire weight against the heavy door to push it open, nearly stumbling into the room and dragging Loki with her when the door finally gives way. 

“Ah -- what a sight for sore eyes!” Loki crows in delight as he lays eyes on the king-sized bed pushed against the wall to the left of the doorway. The bed faced yet another fireplace — being the only room in the Inn for hire that included a fireplace, situated atop the fireplace downstairs in the pub and sharing its chimney. Renting such a room would usually cost a pretty penny… but having access to magic beyond most’s understanding made it much easier to get the five-finger discount. 

“You know, I genuinely can’t remember the last time I slept in a bed,” Loki comments as he teeters towards the fireplace. He gracefully —by which he means he just let’s gravity do most of the work — drops down onto his knees in front of the fireplace, using a burst of his magic to turn the pile of freshly cut logs and tinder within into a roaring fire within seconds. “I’m guessing the same could be said for you?”

“Depends what you classify as a bed.” Sylvie finishes up locking the door to the room, tucking the key into her pocket as she turns towards the room. “Most times, I was lucky to be lying on something even somewhat soft. Other times… well, let’s just say that sleep was often a luxury I couldn’t afford.”

Loki grimaces as he pushes himself up until he was standing, walking over to the bed and collapsing down onto it with an exhausted sounding huff, letting his hands rest atop his stomach as his back hits the — mostly — clean sheets underneath him. 

“Suppose I shouldn’t expect much craftsmanship from Earth’s eighty century,” Loki comments on the state of the bed. Sylvie walks over to the bed, entering Loki’s frame of vision as she stands over him. 

“At least I have a nice view, though.” He accompanies the comment with a sly smile, which gets him a roll of the eyes and a less than vicious kick to his leg hanging off the edge of the bed in response.

“Come on, budge up,” Sylvie indicates to where he was situated directly in the middle of the bed, motioning for him to move with a flick of her wrist. 

Loki grunts with the little effort it takes to move himself over to one side of the bed. He closes his eyes against the comforting yet too bright light of the fire, feeling the dip of the bed as Sylvie takes a seat on the edge of it. 

“Hey,” she tries to get his attention, tapping at his thigh until he creaks an eye open to look at her. “You do still have the TemPad, right?” 

Loki answers by digging into his oversized coat pocket, pulling out the TemPad and holding it out in the air for her to take. She takes it from his hands, running a thumb along the smoothed marble edge, watching as it lights up at her touch. 

“I think it likes you more than me,” Loki mumbled from beside her. 

“Mmm… not sure it has the capability to pick favorites.”

“If it’s smart enough to recognize us as its owners, then it might be able to differentiate between us and have a preference to which of us is wielding it.”

“Well… I have used it more than you,” Sylvie points out, and on cue, the surface of the TemPad lights up, as if it were agreeing with her words. 

Loki pushes himself up from the bed, matching Sylvie as he sits at the edge of the bed. He runs a tired hand over equally tired eyes, glancing down to the TemPad in her hands. “Why’d you use Mo -- the other TemPad, instead of that one?”

If Sylvie noticed him tripping over his words, she didn’t mention it. “We said it’d be best to grab a backup, didn’t we? And… you seemed a little, uh… shaken at the time, to get the TemPad back off you.”

“Right…” Loki drops his gaze down to his lap, seemingly shrinking in on himself. 

“Loki… I’m so sorry,” Sylvie says gently, trying to find the best way to approach the subject they had both seemingly been avoiding. “I know that Mobius, he was… he was a good friend.”

“No, not a good friend.” Loki shakes his head, glancing up at her. “He was… my only friend.”

The pain on his face briefly gives way to one of panic, quickly attempting to backtrack on what he had just said. “Oh, uh, that’s not to say that you’re not my friend, it’s just that -- I’ve always seen as you as something different than—”

Sylvie smiles at his awkward and bumbling words, reaching out to place her hand on his upper arm. “I know. I get what you’re trying to say.”

Loki relaxes at that, sighing quietly to himself in relief. “If it hadn’t been for Mobius, I would have been reset moments after my so-called ‘trial.’ He… broke me down and pulled me apart, forcing me to realize truths about myself that I had always tried to run from. Meeting him, just like meeting you, it… it changed me. Or… or more so it made me realize that I was capable of changing myself.”

Sylvie’s hand moves up and down his arm in soothing motions, the comforting touch forcing his eyes shut. “He’s still out there, Loki. We’ll find him again.”

“How am I supposed to face him again?” Loki asks desperately. “How can I look him in the eye, knowing what I’ve done to him?”

“You need to stop seeing that variant as him. Just like me and you, that Mobius and the one we know are nearly different people entirely. Different choices made, different lives lived. Who we are -- who we become -- is more than just what we are at birth. That Mobius made the choice to pick up the Pruning Stick. That Mobius made the choice to threaten us, not the Mobius you know. You didn’t kill Mobius; you killed a man that was holding a weapon to my neck, and I… I can’t even begin to thank you for that.”

Loki shoots her an incredulous look. “You can’t have really thought I would have let him…?”

“I thought it might have been a possibility.” Sylvie shrugs her shoulders, Loki’s baffled expression only growing stronger at her response. 

“Mobius is… he’s the only — and the greatest  — friend I’ve ever had,” Loki begins, placing a hand over hers on his shoulder. “But you? You’re…”

Loki wasn’t even sure he had a word to describe what Sylvie was to him. None that he knew quite seemed to fit, didn’t quite match the way he felt when he thought about her. She was… himself, both the good parts and the bad parts. She was… she was him, and yet she wasn’t. She was… a force of nature that came crashing into his life as much as he had been chasing it, stirring up trouble and chaos wherever she went, and yet, left behind the seeds of new life, of new beginnings once the destruction had cleared. 

She was… the driving force that made him want to be someone different. She was the only person he wanted by his side as they took on this seemingly impossible task. 

She was…

“...My Glorious Purpose.”

There was a split second where Loki wondered if perhaps those words weren’t the best to use. Sure, he had mentioned his ‘Glorious Purpose’ before, and since the future version of himself had brought it up, he… kind of just assumed that the idea of a ‘Glorious Purpose’ was something that was sort of built into every Loki. Now though, when he thought about it from an outside perspective, the use of ‘my’ seemed to suggest a claim of ownership over Sylvie, which was certainly not the impression he wanted to give off. 

He stops worrying about it when the concerned frown on her face slowly softens, changing to one of disbelief at his statement. He can’t help but give her a small smile at the sight of her shock, looking back down to his lap with that half-turned smile slipping away. 

“I’m not too sure when it changed,” he admits to her. “I suppose that… most other versions of my ‘Glorious Purpose’ always involved me ruling over… something. Asgard… Midgard… The Nine Realms; then, when I discovered the power they held, The TVA. Same goal, just… different circumstances. And you know what the strange thing is?”

Sylvie was still a bit too dumbstruck from Loki’s previous admission, only able to stare avidly at him as he speaks. 

“I didn’t even want them. Not really,” Loki says, and then he laughs, the reality of his entire life now just seeming so incredibly absurd as he says it out loud. 

What had his obsession over ruling truly been about? Did he think it would guide him towards happiness? Would he felt like he had achieved something he had earned through blood, sweat, and tears? That he took what should have been his, not something he had to take? 

No… no, it wasn’t any of that. It was…

It was from feeling out of place. 

He always had, right from the beginning. Always this feeling of… something not right. He had been the, quite literal, black sheep in the family. Watching his father sat atop the throne, witnessing the grandeur that came with his father’s title, hearing of the stories that led to his place on the throne… and then seeing the way his brother was co closely following in the footsteps of their father. 

Thor was the oldest. He might have been a prince, just as Thor was, but he always knew that Thor was the one who would step up to the throne when the time came. He was… a backup, it sometimes felt like. The only time he truly felt wanted, and like he was right where he was meant to be, was whenever he was learning magic, paying rapt attention to his mother as she showed him all she knew. 

Then, to find out who he truly was… What little claim he had to the title, what little claim he had to being an Asgardian, of being Son of Odin and Frigga was… gone. He was nothing more than a little ice runt, saved from abandonment to act as a token of peace in the hopes of ending both his father’s wars.

What if he had known? What if, like Sylvie, he had been told of who he really was? Would events still transpire as they had? Would Sylvie had done the same as him, if she had never been taken from her timeline? It seemed unlikely. For one, she seemed — at least on the outside — remarkably unphased about being adopted when he had brought it up back on Lamentis. And for another... she had spent her entire life running away from an organization that ruled over everything that has existed, or ever will exist; it wasn’t all too surprising that the thought of ruling over anything didn’t really appeal to her. 

And that was what it boiled down to. Him, desperately trying to grab hold of power in a bid for control, to prove to others and to himself that he deserved to be something -- someone -- other than a pawn in his father’s wars. And Sylvie… she had run, stolen, and killed her way through universe after universe, all to send a message to the TVA that she was more than just a pawn in their game that had made her own move, not theirs. 

They both felt the need to prove that they belonged. Just... In different ways. 

“How…” Sylvie tries to start speaking, clearing her throat with a shake of her head. “How am I your Glorious Purpose? Why am I…?”

“Not really something I can control,” Loki gestures to himself with a strained smile. “One moment, all I care about is finding my way back to the TVA, getting in front of the Time Keepers, and taking their place on the throne. Then… there you were. You were… persistent, and determined, and… me, yet… not. You were trying to destroy the TVA — the very thing I was trying to rule — and… I only had to know you for a day for everything to change. For me to change. I didn’t care about having a throne. I didn’t care about being in control. For once, I felt like I truly belonged — and that was whenever I was with you. I knew that… I could let myself be happy, so long as you’re happy.”

Sylvie has to look away from the intensity of his gaze, trying to wrap her head around everything he had just said. “I, um… I’m starting to think this is the wine talking.”

Loki chuckled lazily at that, dropping gracefully back down to the bed. “Hmm… wine does usually make me talk a lot.”

“You always talk a lot.”

“More so than usual,” Loki grumbles. “My point still stands; just because it’s the wine talking doesn’t mean it isn’t the truth.”

Sylvie glances back to him over her shoulder, drinking in the peaceful look on his face as he lies there with his eyes closed, looking about ready to drop off. She sighs quietly, looking back to the TemPad in her hands with a thoughtful frown. 

“I wish I knew how to tell you the way I feel for you,” she admits to the quiet of the room. Loki’s eyes pop open, looking up to her in surprise. 

“It seems like you’re better at all this than I am,” Sylvie continues, shuffling around on the bed so she could face him better. “Feels like… I have some catching up to do.”

“We both do,” Loki reassures her, pushing himself up onto his arms. “But that’s okay. We’ll figure things out at our own pace.”

“But what if I…” Sylvie trails off, face twisting in frustration. “…What if I never get there?”

“You will—”

“But you don’t know that,” Sylvie stresses, cutting him off. “And it’s... it’s not fair to you, for me to be stuck the way I am…”

“Sylvie, a few days before I met you, I was using a device to carve out and copy the information of a man’s eye.” Sylvie reels back slightly at this tidbit of information, but —thankfully— doesn’t ask about it any further. “And, you know… a friend once told me I could be whoever, or whatever, I wanted to be. We are capable of change, Sylvie -- especially when it’s a change we’re striving to achieve. And if you never get there?” Loki shrugs his shoulders. “That’s okay, too. I know you’ll find your own way to express how you feel.”

Sylvie shakes her head at the assurance in his voice. She wasn’t sure what it was she had done that had made Loki so… devoted to her. “Sometimes I’ll look at you, and I’ll think of something, and… and I just can’t say those thoughts out loud. And I should. If I can think them, why can’t I say them?”

“Sylvie… there’s a hell of a difference between thinking something, and acting on it. The way that I feel for you, it’s… it’s not easy for me to admit, either. It doesn’t feel all that long ago that I mocked people for being in love. And now, in their shoes, I know it’s more complicated then—”

Loki stopped himself when he caught sight of the wide-eyed look on Sylvie’s face, his mouth frozen partway open in mid-sentence. Loki might not have picked up on the significance of what he had just said out loud, but for Sylvie, those few words were echoing around in her head. It was almost funny that, seconds after saying he too struggled to admit how he feels, he had just dropped the biggest admission possible on her without even realizing it. 

“What did you just say?” Sylvie whispers, eyes still wide as saucers. 

Loki frowned, ready to ask which part of what he had just said, when the realization clobbers him around the head. He… he had never said that out loud, had he? But… but she knew, didn’t she? She had to — especially after sharing their emotions with each other as they delved into their memories, re-watching their moment on Lamentis through the power of enchantment. 

“Ah…” Loki got out, trying not to let the panic take over. “That… that probably wasn’t the best time to say that, was it?”

Sylvie’s continuous silence and lack of a reaction other than just staring at him wasn’t doing much to calm his nerves. “Okay, I know I said it’s fine if you can’t express how you feel, but I’d really appreciate it if you said something right about now.”

“Did you mean it?” Sylvie asks, the vulnerability in her voice giving Loki pause. “Are you… are you really…?”

“In love with you?” Loki fills in the words Sylvie couldn’t seem to get out. Sylvie sucks in a sharp breath through her teeth at the words, slowly nodding her head. A small smile flickers at the corner of Loki’s lips, looking away sheepishly. “Yes. Yes, I am.”

Loki glances up at her from his ducked gaze, watching as she takes this in. She teeters back on the bed, eyes darting around the room in what Loki hoped was closer to something like shock than just downright panic. 

“Please, don’t -- don’t freak out.” Loki wanted to reach out to her, but wasn’t sure how well-received his touch would be right now. “I didn’t mean to overwhelm you—”

“Say it again.”

Loki blinked at her in surprise, the response not what he was expecting. “I… excuse me?”

“Say it again,” Sylvie repeats firmly, looking him straight in the eye. 

Loki schools his confused expression, meeting her searching gaze as he repeats the one thing he never thought he’d get to say. “I’m in love with you.”

Sylvie’s eyes narrow for a moment, her eyes scanning across his face for some kind of tell that he was lying — some form of manipulation, one which would be the cruelest kind. “Again,” She repeats, unable to keep the shakiness out of her voice. 

“I’m in love with you.” It was almost scary how easy it was coming to him, now. It was like stating the weather, or what he had eaten for dinner. Just… a matter of fact. An absolute truth — and he was finding he enjoyed saying it as much as he enjoyed knowing she had now heard those words fall from his lips.

Loki wasn’t sure what about him saying it for the third time made Sylvie believe it, but she seemed to find whatever it was she was looking for from him. Sylvie rushes towards him, grabbing hold of the lapels of his coat and pulling him towards her until their lips met. It was already much too warm in the room from the heat radiating from the fireplace, so Loki was all too eager to assist Sylvie as she begins yanking his coat off. 

They break apart for the briefest of moments to pull his arms out from the sleeves of the coat, balling it up and throwing it carelessly to the side, nearly setting it alight as it lands near the fire. Loki happily follows the directions of her push, falling back onto the bed and savoring the feeling of her body pressed against his as her weight falls onto him. 

“You’re right -- I can find another way to express the way I feel,” Sylvie pants a few tantalizing inches from his mouth. It takes all of Loki’s focus to listen to what she’s saying and not just surge up and reclaim her lips like his body was screaming at him to do. “And I’ve always been more a woman of actions than words, anyway.”

Next Chapter - - - >

[carinyms]

We're three days from the Loki finale and I’m back to spout more meta and theories about episodes 5 & 6! It’s a long one (again.)

I really enjoyed episode five. People have complained that they felt it didn't do much to move the show forward, but one of the things I've loved most about this show is the time it takes to sit with the characters and learn about their backstory, their feelings. (I'm always a little bugged when critics say that an episode hasn't done enough to move the plot forward, because without adequate character development, why should I care about the plot?) I thought the pacing of it was really well balanced.

….and I have never been so nervous for a finale in my entire life. There’s a lot of reasons.

The first is just the fact that I’ve been waiting for this show for a whole year, and the anticipation and excitement of it literally helped get me through the pandemic--so when those final end credits roll I’m going to be a whole mess no matter what happens. (I really hope the rumors floating around about season two are accurate) I also just feel like it’s somewhat inevitable that this is our final farewell to Tom’s Loki, and like—I’ll never be ready, but especially right now, amidst all the rampant controversy around this show, I’m just not ready to deal with that. I have a *small* modicum of hope that this won't be the case, but it feels unlikely. Anyway, guess I’ll die.

I really want this show to stick the landing, so to say. I loved the last episode, but a lot of the response has been that it felt like a lull in the plot. I want this show to end in a satisfying bang so it can get the credit it deserves.

Also I’m a whole hypocrite eating my words from last week—I’m fully on-board with Loki/Sylvie now (not that I was ever really against it)--I’m not sure why I’m surprised. They’re so adorable and wholesome, and I’m in love with seeing Loki in love. It’s so precious. (Just as a PSA, if you’re not into them that’s chill, and you’re allowed to dislike a ship without trying to justify your opinion by labeling shippers as morally problematic. Selfcest isn’t a real thing, therefore there isn’t a moral high ground to stand on here. Okay? Okay.) Wherever it ultimately leads, their relationship is still a really sweet exploration of them both growing and learning how to love themselves and trust others. Also, them cuddling under a tablecloth is the cutest shit I’ve ever seen with my two eyes.

MY THEORIES:

I love Sylvie so much, SO MUCH — and she is 100% going to stab Loki in the back by the end of the next episode. I don’t think the betrayal is going to stick, and by the end they’ll both be on the same page again, but the conversations on trust have been way too one-sided for my comfort. If nothing else she's going to seriously consider it. Here’s one way I can see that going. Spoiler alert: it hurts.

Sylvie betrays Loki at one point—and we see Loki’s growth and arc come full circle as, even after being betrayed by the person he hinged his entire development around, he still believes in doing the right thing, in saving her regardless. It ends in a heart-wrenching self-sacrifice of some kind, and his actions serve as the catalyst for her full development as well. We keep seeing different versions of Loki die for their ‘glorious purpose’, just like how Classic Loki shouts the phrase as he was consumed by Aloith (RIP King, I love you).

Loki has already called Sylvie his glorious purpose (or inferred it). There’s been backlash around him saying that, but the way I see it, it’s less “I’m obsessed with this girl she’s my purpose now” and more “I believe that she’s the best version of us and I’m going to make it my purpose to help her succeed and be what the rest of us aren’t”. That’s why seeing all the other variant Loki’s at their worst in the Loki clubhouse (? what do I call this lol) only fuels him more to find her. I think about what Mobius told him: “You exist to cause pain and suffering and death, all so others can achieve the best versions of themselves”. I don’t think Loki truly believes he can be the best version of Loki — I think he saw Sylvie and thought, "it's her". He’s decided he’s going to help her achieve the best version of herself, but he'll do it giving her love and trust and devotion, rather than through betrayal, pain and suffering. He’s re-writing his pre-determined role, in his own small way. I’m so proud of him.

So who’s behind it all and what’s truly going on here? (This isn’t really one theory, more like a string of possibilities and I don’t really know how they’d fit together.)

I still think it’s another version of Loki. And if it is, I can’t help but appreciate the connections between his position dictating the end of time in the show in relation to Loki’s role in the Norse myths, where he’s the catalyst for the destruction of all things. It feels relevant, considering the whole idea that ‘the end of time hasn’t been written yet’ has come up twice now. That would be a fascinating tie-in to the mythology. (Also—Alioth looks like a giant dog. And Fenrir’s role in Ragnarok was devouring the world—I realize this is a reach but am I the only person seeing this connection?) The thing I really can’t predict is the motivation. What would cause a Loki to want to prevent Loki’s from changing? Was there something that happened in the sacred timeline this Loki is trying to preserve? (I also like the idea of us maybe seeing another version of Sylvie behind it all, but I’m just going to leave that rabbit hole alone. )

But here’s the theory I can’t stop thinking about. There’s a theory floating around tik tok (by user twelvepercentcredit) saying the ‘castle’ we see beyond Alioth looks like a place called the House of Ideas, something that appeared in a (discontinued?) Loki comic. Here’s the wiki page on it. Just looking at the imagery of this compared to the location we’re seeing in the trailers, it’s too similar to be a coincidence. The huge bookshelves, the towering ceilings.

Here’s a description from the wiki:

“The House of Ideas is also home to a library which archives the exploits of every hero who has ever existed in the form of books, written unconsciously by the collective minds of their believers. This collection is curated by Now and Then, two of the children of Eternity. Now and Then routinely seek out heroes to bring into the House of Ideas to bargain with them and give their collections more pages, therefore more time for adventures and exploits. “

And later on the page on how Loki ties in:

“Heeding the desire in Loki's heart to do more with his life, Now and Then approached Loki and brought him to the House of Ideas,[5] where they struck up with him the deal to give more pages to his collection of exploits, rewriting the Books of Loki with a hero's stories in exchange for an eventual hero's death.”

Are they gonna play with the exact happenings of this? I don't know, but it sounds pretty cool!

It would be gutsy to go this route with the show given how meta it is, but I love the idea of it. Would they put characters that embody the abstract ideas of “Eternity” “Now & Then” into the show in the last episode? I’m not sure. Something I could see as a possibility though is an alternate version of Loki having overthrown whoever was previously guarding the timeline, and Loki and Sylvie will have to take them down in turn, thus ‘releasing’ the multiverse to its default, chaotic state.

What if our Loki’s ultimate destiny, ultimate Glorious Purpose, is to release the timelines--restoring all the variants back to their original timelines--and remain in this place for eternity, guarding the timeline and ensuring the multiverse is allowed to exist in its natural state? It seems a pretty fitting role for the God of Chaos. It would also explain why whoever’s behind the TVA would be so desperate to eliminate all variant Loki, if that was his ultimate destiny.

It would be an effective way to remove Hiddleston’s Loki from the movie-verse without killing him, AND place both Sylvie and any other Loki variants back in the the main timeline for use in future films—which we know has to happen somehow, because Young Avengers is definitely happening, and Kid Loki has got to get out of the void somehow.

And yea, this outcome would hurt like a bitch. Because even though that would truly be a lovely glorious purpose for our Loki, he’d be alone. And the whole point of this show is that he doesn’t have to be alone! It would be a very poetic sacrifice for him to take on the burden of watching over the timelines alone for all eternity so that his other variants could be the best versions of themselves, but I really just want him to be happy. I will be crying my eyes out if this happens. I’ll be proud but I won’t be okay.

And this all is probably speculative nonsense and could go off in an entirely different direction. Who knows. All in all, I just really want to see Loki fully believe in himself and his ability, to truly absorb what he said about being stronger than he realizes, and to take control of his destiny.

WHAT I WANT (NEED) FROM EPISODE 6:

Let Hunter B-15 and Mobius team up to burn the place to the ground. She was nerfed in the time-keeper fight, I want to see B-15 kick some ass.

I kind of want Ravonna to escape and be a character that carries over into the films for her tie-ins with Kang? I want to see more of her.

Give Loki a new badass costume. I’m begging. If he’s gonna go down, he deserves to go down in something other than khakis.

And then I want to see him and Sylvie fighting side by side in matching outfits.

I want a Mobius-level hug between them. Or a kiss. Or both. But I want the hug more. And you know what? I want her to initiate the hug or kiss or whatever it is because I want Loki to experience receiving love and affection from others as much as giving it. He deserves it ok??

I expect Mobius on a jet ski in the post credits and if I don’t get it I riot

@marvel these are my demands.

As always, if you've made it this far I'd love to hear your thoughts!

[lokislittlesigyn]

so....that episode of loki amiright? how do you feel abt it?

Ah, Nonny. That's what I've been trying to figure out all day.

I watched the episode twice now, and after a very long and eventful day, full of emotional highs and lows, I'm really not sure where to stand.

Let's start with the good. Spoilers below.

- Sylvie's backstory. I want to know more, and hope they show more. But this episode really solidified how much I like her as a character. I hope she can truly move forward as herself - whether she wants that to be as a Loki or as something different. Maybe both.

- Loki's line about how Lokis (this is from memory, sorry) "We might lose, painfully even, but we don't die. We survive." Hearing those words? After Infinity War? It felt like he was saying them to me. And to all the other fans who need to hear that. Loki is intensely important to a lot of people, and seeing him get hurt in such horrific ways leaves a lasting impression. At the very least, knowing he's never gone for good? That nothing stops him? That helps.

- Hunter B-15. I never disliked her as a person, just felt she was very set in her ways and absolutely devoted to the TVA. When that came crashing down, as we saw, things really changed for her. I'm honestly really glad for this character growth and I wish her the best. And I desperately hope C-2O isn't actually dead... if she is, I want to know who killed her.

- More Mobius and Ravonna being friends. I love that. And I do still like Ravonna, as a person - I believe she truly believed the Time-Keepers were real. Or else, she was afraid of whoever was controlling them. Because we can see in that scene when she walks to them, she looks scared - and the only other beings there are the Time-Keepers, so she has no reason to be putting on a show. I believe she really was that apprehensive. I also think lying to people like she did is wrong, but we have yet to see the fully story of why.

- Lovely to see more of Asgard, even a glimpse. Lovely to see Lady Sif again. Absolutely BRILLIANT to see some myths being worked into the MCU! I plan to write a full fic of Loki cutting Sif's hair! But seeing Loki get repeatedly assaulted? Intensely upsetting. I really didn't enjoy seeing him in so much pain. I am not a male so I don't know how much that kick would hurt, but it certainly seemed to wear him down... sigh.

- Loki being honest with himself. I don't think he's a narcissist, but I do think he needs attention and he's afraid of being alone.. And honestly, I am too. I hate feeling alone. So seeing him say that, hearing that confirmation of what I thought, it really encouraged me.

- Mobius is well-written, though I don't necessarily agree with all his decisions or what he says, I really appreciate how he investigated what Loki said and chose to help him. Also, I think Mobius is going to find Loki in that place where the Variants are and save him. Team up against the TVA.

- The Time-Keepers were fake I KNEW they had to be fake I KNEW it. It remains to be seen if they were ever real or not, and who's behind the TVA (again I don't believe it was Ravonna, especially as we saw her as a hunter earlier, so she likely wasn't there at the start) but I feel rather clever for not believing in the Time-Keepers.

- Loki. Variants. Comic Loki. Young Loki. Alligator Loki. More Lokis. I want all of them, I want every single one of them, Loki in all his forms is wonderful and I want to meet them all.

- Honorable mention: A friend told me that Loki got pruned but showed up later. Honestly? If they hadn't shared that? I don't think I would've been able to make it through the day. That, and some theory posts about pruning being transfer than a murder, saved me.

Now for the things I was mixed on or didn't exactly like...

- The elephant in the room.. Loki and Sylvie's relationship. Now, to be clear, I love the idea of Loki seeing himself from an outside perspective, seeing the potential, and being able to directly empathize and emotionally grow by connecting with someone. I also love the idea of that happening independent of romance because it doesn't have to be romantic.

I can't find a real confirmation of if it's romantic or not. An official Marvel article talked about how the writers created Loki "falling in love with himself" while an interview with Kate Herron said it's "Not necessarily romantic." There are so many mixed signals.

//TW for PTSD, panic/anxiety, mental health here

For a while, I felt absolutely crushed and heartbroken. I didn't anticipate seeing Loki look at someone like that to do that to me. I felt numb. I cried a lot. And this afternoon, for the first time in a long while, I didn't imagine him with me when I was scared. I didn't imagine him being around, telling me it was okay, telling me we'd get through it together. Instead, I was just alone. I had to not think about it or I would've honestly broke down into sobs. My mental health took an incredible downward spiral and I was stuck trying to fight off a panic attack in public for over an hour. it was not easy. I've since pulled myself up and told myself to wait and see what happens. There are options. For instance, this is one version of Loki.. There are obviously other versions of Loki that I can imagine as "mine" if I so choose. Time will tell what happens.

- This isn't necessarily a .. Bad thing, in terms of story. But seeing how broken Loki was after Mobius was pruned absolutely shattered me. I cried. I cannot stand seeing him so upset. That same horrible expression is what he wore in IW for part of the opening scene and I can't get it out of my head. It's horrible. I am really holding on to Loki seeing his friend again. They have to reunite.

//TW ends

- I would've preferred to see B-15's life? Maybe I'm just too invested in the side characters, and the acting in that scene was certainly great! But I just, I really care about her and I want to know what makes her happy. I want her to be happy...

- C-20 is dead. Maybe... I really hope she isn't actually. I really liked her too...

Ah, that's all I can think of for now.

Overall, I feel a lot of emotions. Confusion, hope, worry, sadness. I hope next week's episode will continue the story well, and help make sense of things.

[aliypop]

And So It Starts Chap 4

Word count : 3,133

Warning : EPISODE 5 SPOILERS 

A/N: I hope you guys enjoy it! this was really fun and it took one and half days to write so please tell me how you liked it. 

"Did I eat a spoiled grape? Is that what this is..." she got up.

"You'd wish you had..."  the regaled woman said, a cape draping over her body as her hair was grey, a black strand braided into it.  "Where am I ..." she asked, looking down as she was in her TVA attire. "The void ... pretty sick, huh..."  the punk rock Astrid said, wearing what looked like Sylvie's crown on her head. "Oh great, another devil's anus..." she got off the ground, shaking her head, watching as a young girl popped up from behind. Her curls springy with her hand on her hips, "That is Alioth..." she smirked, "Anyone would know that..." she sassed, "Come along you, the others are waiting ..." she smiled, walking away as the other Astrids kept walking up a garden trash heap. 

"Tell me who's really behind the TVA..." Astrid 2.0. asked as Ravonna shrugged, "I'm in the dark as you are ." she looked at Miss Minute, who looked worried, "Poor judge Renslayer. Your whole realities  destroyed."   Sylvie laughed, "Tell me, how does it feel to be on the other side of it..."  she growled as Astrid 2.0. pulled out his crossbow, 

"Hey hey... What if I told you Loki and Astrid were alive!" she said with her arms open wide to the two variants. We'd say you're lying..." he pointed his weapon in her face. Much like a Vanir warrior would do. "Or maybe we want the same thing..." Ravonna smiled, 

"Maybe I want to know who's on top of it, just like the two of you..." she began to move forward, "Maybe I want to know who lied to me..." she sighed, "We could finger it out as a team..." 

"Norns, do I not like that word..." Astrid 2.0. growled. Back on the void stood the Astrids, who were watching the dragon-like sky destroy everything, "Usually I'd ask what's going on but...I'm going to trust you me myselves" she questioned, "That we have a plan?"

"Ah yes... don't die." Kid Astrid smiled, "That's the plan." 

"Don't die !? that's a-"

"General demand of living!" Regal Astrid smiled, "Nice to know there's a Loki in your life." she smirked. Astrid sighed, sitting down,

 "Look, it's been a long few months... weeks... years, and I'm tired of hunting variants using my curses as a puppet to the TVA. I  want to know who you are, where I am, and why's this happening to me!" she screamed as she punched the ground, a ripple of blue coming from the cracks. Silence fell around them as a voice spoke.

"Well, this is where the TVA leaves everything they've ever pruned and the shit they don't want..." Punk rock Astrid mumbled, "And now that damned thing Alioth is going to kill us thanks to that..." she pointed to her hands. 

"Well, I don't give a damn!" she huffed, "Nope, no damns, none!" she flipped off Alioth.

"You give so many they're visible from outer space." Kid Astrid smirked, "how would you know you, little runt..."

"I'm you." she laughed, "And After all, Astrids always find a way through the chaos..." 

"You all wear mothers crown, except you." she pointed to the punk rock one, "But you, the Vanir child makes the most sense." 

"Death matures you..." she turned around, "In case you wanted to know, I poisoned my mother... And I got rid of Isabella... and Then Father drank the same cup." she looked away. Her dark blue gown blowing in the wind, "I'd advise you not to make her angry." Regal Astrid sighed as she made a tissue appear, dabbing at the tears. "She's sensitive like the rest of us..." she whispered as they walked into an abandoned factory, "You're a TVA variant... " Punk Astrid asked, "Sort of, except they promised I'd be sent back to Loki." she smiled,

"How'd that work..." Kid Astrid sat next to Regal Astrid on her throne, "We haven't seen a Loki get pruned yet..."  Punk Astrid said laughing; 

 "Don't think he or she's coming back priss..."   she mumbled, touching the broken horn on her helmet. 

"So why do you want to return to the TVA so bad..." Classic Loki asked, handing him a wine cooler, "Is your glorious purpose there." 

"You could say that..." he sighed, holding the red and gold amulet in hand. 

"What happened to take down the TVA..." Ravonna said as her back pressed against her podium, "Tell you two wha, I'll put you both in a time loop something memorable  ... any good memories you want to live out?"  she asked the two as Astrid 2.0. shot at a few minute men, "Just one..." Sylvie threw the pruning staff to Astrid, "You wouldn't..."

"I would... Sylvie catch!" he threw back to her as he began to disappear. 

"So, we're supposed to die right... after Thanos kills us after Ragnarok. "

"Thanos? in my timeline, everything proceeds correctly, my entire life until Thanos attacked our ship."

"So you didn't use daggers..." he asked, a bit embarrassed. 

"Blades are worthless to a Loki's sorcery. They stunt our magical potential." Classic Loki smiled as Loki looked stunned, "But they look awesome..." Boastful Loki smirked, "When the clatter to the ground just before Thanos snaps your neck." he smirked, "You see. After I faked my death, I drifted into space. Away from Thor, away from everything. " he laughed, "Even her too, see I thought about my part. So I removed myself and stayed on an isolated planet." he shrugged, 

"How'd the TVA find you..."

"I got lonely, tell you the truth...  I missed my brother, my wife, and I wondered if they missed me. But as soon as I took my first steps off, the TVA came." he sighed, "We're the God of Outcast." he smiled.

"Have any of you ever met a Male variant of us..." Astrid asked as they looked at her, "Wait, we can change gender..." Kid Astrid asked, "I could've been king! I could've had a!" 

"Yes, but not the point," she cut her younger self off, "You see, he's like us sensitive, but he holds all of chaos he doesn't hesitate to hunt... " she laughed,

 "If we find him, we can kick Alioth's ass." 

"I'm going to kill the shark. I'm going to kill Alioth! and I could use all the help I can get!"

Laughter struck them both from their other selves, Astrid growled, "This wouldn't have happened if Loki were around..."

Taking out the amulet, Loki sighed, walking up towards the opening of the bunker,=. As the other Loki's gathered around the item as a voice called from up top the bonker, "I believe that's mine..." a woman dressed as a first lady said, wearing a vote for Loki pen on her blazer.

 "Ah, hello, which one of us are you..." Another Loki asked, peering down as his Astrid clung to him, 

"This is a nightmare..." both Astrid and Loki said, looking at a gang of their Variants, 

There, standing in front of Astrid, was a Hydra variant pointing her crossbow in her face, "If you know what's good for you, you'll let us through." she smirked. As Astrid variants, even one that was a Pomeranian made their way into the hideout, "Not going to question it..." she sighed. Meanwhile, as the void grew wider, Alioth grew hungrier, "Ouch!" Astrid 2.0. exclaimed, "What on Odin's beard caused you to kick me..." he asked, looking up a Sylvie,

 "Come on before we die..." she smiled at him, "You insufferable dolt." her cheeks turning red, "I would say that's cold, but you are a frost giant." he leaned in to kiss her cheek as smoke flowed into the school bus, "I hate you so much!" she grabbed him by the arm pulling him out just in time, 

Purple orbs of magic coming from his hands, using it against Alioth. "I can't enchant it, but I know that you can..." he stopped as a vision flashed. "A car is coming..." he mumbled under his breath, "What..." driving by was a Pizza Planet car as it stopped right in front of the two, "Get in variants, we're going hunting."

"You!"

"Could you shut the door? We still got a little bit of a situation here. By the way, you should be careful just jumping in strangers' cars like that..." Mobius said, a bit concerned. In the void bunker, Loki backed away, watching as the other Loki's looked at him. 

 "You bastard! You led the wolves to our door."

"We prefer snakes..." President Loki and Astrid said a malicious grin on their faces. 

"I've eaten both, and they die the same." Kid Loki sighed, sitting on his throne. 

"Now, which one of you will betray your queen..." Hydra Astrid asked her slicked-back ponytail flapping along like her mouth, "Oh come on, I'm the best one to go with, besides I killed Loki." she grinned.

"Apologies, my liege, but I betrayed you, and now I'm king..." Boastful Loki sighed a dagger to kid Loki's throat,

"About that..." President Loki said weapons, drawn at him, even Astrids sword. 

"You can't be serious..."

"What'd you expect." He laughed his hands out towards them. "Why you beef-witted, half-faced scrubs, we had a deal!" he then looked at his Astrid, "Don't tell me you were on this too..."

"Only here for my amulet, sweetheart... He's yours, boys," she shrugged, walking away. President Loki gulped as he then looked down, 

"Why the hell is there an alligator in here..." 

"He's a Loki!" the others said in unison as Lokigaitor bit his hand off the president, letting loose a banshee scream.  

"Damn it, Animals... we lie, and we cheat, and we cutthroats of every person who trusts us and for what glorious power...  broken every version of us..."

"And when we try to fix that one defiant part of ourselves, they kill us..." Kid Astrid said as she led the way out of the factory hideout, placing an illusion spell on the other Astrids. 

"That's why I gotta get out of here."

"And you trust her..." Classic Loki asked,

"Without Astrid, she's the only one I trust," he sighed, "It's our only chance to fight the TVA." 

"When I pruned myself, I thought it would lead me back to Loki..." Sylvie sighed,  "Or maybe even Astrid." 

"It's likely that storm things ate them..." Astrid 2.0. said, "And I was just starting to like prissy me..." he laughed as Mobius drove, "Do you two believe that like... " he asked as they nodded, "Wow..." 

"It doesn't matter. We'll get out of here alive and find out who's behind it."

"Just because It's complicated doesn't mean it's not going to work..." Loki smirked, "Something someone close to us all hopefully taught us..." 

"It also doesn't mean it's good..." kid Loki sighed, as Lokigator grumbled, "He's on board." 

"No, he's praying he thinks we're going to die... "

"Are those..." 

"Loki's" 

"Hey, you! You mere worm!" Kid Astrid shouted as Kid Loki turned around, as he bit his thumb at her, Kid Astrid running towards him as she hugged him tightly, Classic Loki smiling, "More of them do exist..." his eyes focusing out towards the hill as another Astrid appeared,

 She was younger, just like he remembered her to be, brown skin with the glow of Vanaheims sun, but she wasn't his Astrid, at least not from the timeline he was a part of him. "Loki, you're okay. Thank the Norns, Thank Frigga and Freya." her hands on both his cheeks, something scaley had wrapped around her ankle as she looked at the animal, 

"Do I want to know..." 

"I'm afraid not, my love." he kissed her nose. 

"Can we get this bittersweet reunion done? We have arse to ki-" Regal Astrid stopped in her tracks as she saw Classic Loki, 

"You were Alive!" she growled, "I could! I could!" he kissed her, 

"Uh, not to interrupt, but is that bad..." Punk rock Astrid asked, pointing towards a car coming their way, 

"Well, that usually means marauders or cannibals or pirates or cannibalistic pirates..." Kid Loki smirked,

"Your childish dark humor never seemed to disappoint me." Astrid laughed, "Darling, he's serious..."

"Well, dritt..." she mumbled under her breath. The group waited to see what would happen, both Sylvie and Astrid 2.0. walked out as Loki ran towards them both.

 "Is he a coward or brave..." Classic Loki asked,

"He's a Loki." Regal Astrid smiled.

"We thought you could use some backup..."  Sylvie smiled as she looked past him, seeing all the other Loki's

"These are my friends. We'll they're us as a child, us as an alligator, I wouldn't ask about that one and us.."  Red highlights peered behind Loki as Sylvie nearly teared up, her crown on the other woman's head as she waved at her, 

"Astra, you're alive!" Sylvie spun her around, "I thought you died..."  she kissed the punk rocker as Astrid 2.0. looked away, " Apparently, switching out your sister's life for yours is a misdemeanor at the TVA." she laughed, 

"Jesus Christ, it's like you throw a rock out here, and you hit a Loki..." Mobius watched

"Or an Astrid." Astrid 2.0. listened to the plan, which was to kill Alioth, which meant there was no other plan, "So you're going to paper cut him to  death." Sylvie laughed, 

"Astrid, please say you have a better idea..."

"Honestly, this is all beneath me realistically, and I don't think I can fight that thing and live!" she sighed, "I'm a Vanir which means..."

"You can do it, darling..." Loki kissed her hands, "I've seen you hold a building with your powers..." he smiled, "You taught me spells not even my mother knew..." Loki smiled, "So do us all a favor..." Mobius stepped in, "What's that..." she asked. 

"Don't hide your magic." Regal Astrid patted her on the back. "That means you too, Loki..." she smiled. Sitting in the abandoned factory of the Astrids was Mobius and Loki's who told stories and asked about Lokigator,

 "You don't remember him..." 

"The TVA took a lot of Loki's but an alligator no..." Mobius stared at him. "Who's to say it's even a Loki!"

"But he's green..."

"I mean, yeah... but he could have tricked you into thinking he's a Loki, but then again... a Loki would do that... Because you guys like games which I respect, how do you Astrids put up with it." he chuckled as Regal Astrid laughed,

 " Laughter and outwitting the game keeps you happily married." she laughed, "Sounds like you want to turn everything you know away..." 

"People can change." He winked.

"Mobius isn't so bad..." Sylvie said to Astra. As Astrid 2.0. cuddled in close with her, "He isn't all that great either... he blabs about Jet skis." he smiled, conjuring up a blanket to use,  the wind by the void making himself chilly. "Think you two could conjure me up some new clothes..." she asked, watching as Loki wrapped his arm around his Astrid.  "He does care about you..." Astrid smiled, the wind blowing her hair back, a dark green blanket wrapped around him, as she placed her hand on his right arm, noticing that for once he didn't hesitate to move it, 

"I could make you one..."  he tensed up,

"Sweetheart, you're a Jotun... you don't get cold..." she sighed happily, snuggling into the blanket with him, her head resting on his shoulder." Maybe I just wanted you closer..." he smiled, "And for the record, I do get a little chilly..." he winked making the blanket longer, 

"Loki did this come off of Thor's bed..." 

"What! No, It's green, which means that it came from, hang on how do you know what's on -"

"I was arranged to him since we were five, remember." she laughed.

 "How do I know that you won't betray me..."  Astrid asked him as she faced him, "How do I know that in the final moments, you won't betray Sylvie or Astrid 2.0." Sylvie listened as she looked their way. 

"Look, Astrid, I know I've betrayed you, Thor, my father, my people... Sif... I know what I did. I know why but I don't plan to do that anymore. If you can trust me with your heart, you can trust I won't let you down." he kissed her forehead. 

"You sure because if we make it and the TVA  is gone, there might be a timeline where we can rule." Sylvie butted in. 

"Then I might be happy." he ruffled her blonde locks, much like how Thor used to, "What about you, what are you going to do, Astrid 2.0," Sylvie asked, 

"Well, I don't know, I figured... You and Astra were happy so..." 

"Maybe we could figure it out together..." Sylvie suggested placing a kiss on his lips; both Loki and Astrid watched as the two stood up, hearing Mobius walk behind them, 

"Hey, I'm offering a ticket out. If anyone wants to come?"

"We're going to stay."

"Are sure what Alioth..." 

"We survived this long. We know what we're doing." Regal Astrid smirked, "Good luck we hope you find what you're looking for ..."

"What will you do at the TVA..." Loki asked,

"Burn it to the ground. Thanks for the spark. Well, see you later, Loki," Mobius smiled as Loki hugged him tightly, "Thank you, my friend. " 

"You're my favorite..." he said to Sylvie as he smiled, letting go of the warm embrace, "Oh, and Astrid." he turned from the portal, 

"Yes... Mr. Mobius?"

"You'll make a mighty great queen someday." he shot finger guns at her as she did them back, "Thank you..."  she smiled. Kid Loki smiled, giving Loki a flaming sword, as Kid Astrid gave Astrid her amulet back, 

"Remember, no hiding your magic!" they said, walking away hand in hand.

Astrid nodded, the four walking towards Alioth conjuring up new outfits and armor, "We're going to enchant it!" Sylvie shouted as Astrid nodded, "We've got you." she smiled as both she and Astrid 2.0. used their powers, "He's going to swing to the left..."  Astrid closed her eyes, moving its cloud to the right, "Loki..." she said, "If you can hear me... please use the sword." she said through telepathy, "I can't lose you again..." the two Astrid and Loki variants tried to fight off Alioth as Classic Loki, and Regal Loki made a diversion with their powers,

 "Glorious purpose !" he shouted, 

Astrid pressed the red jewel of her amulet as her eyes turned purple, orbs of green in her vision, watching as Alioth faded away. 

"We did it..."  Astrid 2.0. ran to Sylvie

"We... did it you did it that was amazing!" Loki kissed his Astrid, "Where has that magic been!" 

"Hidden." 

[idkwriteshitdown]

Everything’s Going to be Okay

Summary: Mobius and Sylvie didn’t get along. They tolerated each other at best. So he was really surprised that he was the one to talk her down from her panic attack.

Or Sylvie has a panic attack and Mobius calms her down.

Words: 2590

(ao3 link)

— 

 Sylvie froze, hands flying up to her neck. She grabbed at the collar that Mobius had fastened onto her. "Wha- What is this?" She started backing up from Mobius. "What did you -? How did you -? Why?" Her voice cracked at the end.

 Mobius started walking towards her. He had a feeling something wasn't quite right. "Sylvie, Syl-" he stopped as she stepped away in fear, tripping over her own feet. Sylvie kept moving back until she hit the wall. She curled in on herself, pulling at the collar. Mobius was shocked to see tears gathering in her eyes, and was concerned at how hard she was tugging at the collar.

 "Hey, hey. I'm backing up now." Mobius crouched down and slowly moved back so that he was sitting across from her on the other side of the room.

 He sighed and put his head between his knees. How did this all go wrong?

 Loki had left. Loki had left on a trip a couple of days ago. It wasn't an odd occurrence for him to take a trip. When he left he never told anyone where he was going, but he always told them how long he thought was going to be gone. He was supposed to be coming back today. Why couldn't they have held off just a little bit longer? Why did he have to leave?

 Sylvie had once said that he was probably off touring all of spacetime. She seemed pretty peeved whenever he wouldn’t let her go with him. Mobius figured it was his way of making amends. He never blamed Loki for leaving. They all needed their time away from the house. He himself had his own trips down to the beach or the lake. He just wished that he wouldn't be left alone with Sylvie.

 He and Loki had gotten along great since they moved in, especially after they made their relationship official. Things were not as smooth with Sylvie. Mobius had spent a significant amount of his time before the fall hunting her down, and she spent just as much time evading him and every other TVA agent sent her way. It wasn't the best breeding ground for a kind and trusting relationship.

 As it was, they constantly got on each other's nerves. She infuriated him to no end. She needled him. Found every conceivable button she could find in him and pressed each one. She responded to the slightest criticism with an insult and every perceived threat with violence. And to her, everything was a threat.

 Mobius had talked to Loki about it one night. They were lying next to each other, Loki’s fingers lazily trailing on Mobius’ chest.

     "She doesn't like me,” he said, breaking the silence.  

     Loki laughed. "Don't be ridiculous."  

     Mobius propped himself up on his elbow. "I’m serious. She doesn't. She can be civil with me once and a while. But she doesn’t like me.”  

     "You just have to give her time”  

     "I know, but-. It's like she's not even trying. I'm putting in all the work. I try to be nice. I try to include her in things. I try to get to know her and she just pushes me away. She gets under my skin."  

     Loki hummed. "You know,” he started. “She reminds me of myself before I met you."  

     “Really?”  

     Loki nodded. “You remember how I was when we first met.”  

     Mobius smiled. “Yeah, you did get on my nerves for a while there.”  

     “I think it’s a thing with Lokis. We try our best to push people away because we’re scared of what happens when someone gets close,” he closed his eyes. “You know, she was pretty young when she first got taken by the TVA.”  

     “She was? I didn’t see it in her files, though I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. We barely had any info on her.”  

     “There’s a lot we don’t know about her. I only found out when she first got taken by the TVA by accident. She was just a child and she spent her whole life on the run.”  

     “Gosh,” Mobius flopped back on his back. “No wonder she hates my guts.”  

     “Hey don’t worry about it. You’ll get through to her.”  

     “How do you know?”  

     Loki smiled and gathered Mobius in his arms. “You got through to me.”  

 He had realized then that night, that the prickly facade she threw up was a way of protecting herself. A mask. And masks don’t last forever.

 To look at her now, clawing at her neck, tears in her eyes. He could hardly believe that she was the same person that he chased and brought in all that time ago.  He could hardly believe that she was the same brash, self-confident,      violent    , person that was standing in front of him just five minutes ago.   What he saw before him was that scared little girl that was taken by the TVA so long ago.

 He messed up.

 "Get it off," she begged. "Please."

 Mobius made no effort to move. His heart ached for her, but his arm still stung where her blast of magic had hit him earlier during their fight. He couldn't even remember what they were arguing about. Something dumb he supposed.

 "I'm sorry Sylvie," he said.  "I didn't know it would be like this." He truly didn't. Sylvie had done a good job with her mask. This reaction was not one that he was expecting. “But you have to keep the collar on.”

 Her breath hitched. “Why?”

 “Sylvie,” Mobius scooted closer to her. “ Your magic is out of control. You could’ve killed me back there. I’m not Loki. I can’t block everything that you throw at me.”

 “I’m s-sorry,” She sniffed. “I won’t do it again.”

 Mobius shook his head. “Sylvie. Look at me,” He waited for her to look at him. Her breathing was ragged and uneven. “If I take off that collar, can you honestly tell me that your magic won’t do something that could endanger us both right now?”

 Sylvie looked away from him and at the ground. Mobius huffed and moved closer until they were sitting side by side.

 “Hey. It’s going to be okay,” he said.

 She shook her head, hands snaking up to yank at her hair. “It’s not okay. It's not okay." Her breathing became more erratic. She jumped up. “I’ve got to- I gotta go. I need to leave.”

  “Woah, woah, woah,” Mobius grabbed her, pulling her back down. “You need to calm down. Here, scoot forward,” he said. He maneuvered himself such that she sat between his legs. He grabbed her hands, pinning them against her chest. “Breathe with me.”

 “I c-can’t.” She stuttered out.

 “Yes you can. Take a deep breath in.” He breathed in. “And out.” He breathed out. “That’s good. Let’s do it again.” They stayed like that, breathing together. Slowly but surely Mobius felt Sylvie's breathing change, slowing down from the rapid, ragged breathing that she was doing earlier. After a few more minutes he felt her relax into him. Carefully he released her arms from his hold. "You're okay," he brushed the hair from her face. "You're okay."

 They stayed in that position for a while, her leaning back against him, while he held her. He was surprised to see that she had fallen asleep. He was reminded of Loki's comments about the sleeping habits of the other.

 It was during the first of many prank wars that the two Loki's seemed to always be having. It usually started off small. Loki stealing Sylvie's food. Sylvie attacking him randomly. It usually ended with Loki transfiguring her into some sort of animal, and refusing to change her back until she agreed to yield. Either that or both of them dropping in exhaustion.

     "Why don't you come to bed?" Mobius asked.  

     Loki groaned, grabbing his head in his hands. "I can't. I have to be on guard."  

     "This is our bedroom," he said as he got under the covers. "She won't do anything. Besides, she's probably sleeping. Like you should be."  

     Loki laughed. "Oh no. She doesn't sleep. Not willing at least. The only way you'll find her sleeping is if her body gave up on staying awake."  

     Mobius rolled his eyes. "Everybody sleeps Loki. Even her." He patted the space next to him in bed. "Now come on to bed. I'm not a part of whatever prank war you've got going on. She won't try anything."  

 They woke up the next morning completely covered in green paint.

 Mobius wondered if he should feel honored that she had chosen him to sleep on. He thought back to the events of the past few days and Sylvie doing absolutely everything but sleeping. He shook his head. It was probably exhaustion then. He still couldn't help the warm feeling in his stomach at the fact chosen to stay with him instead of pulling away.

  Their relationship would be irrevocably changed today.

 He felt her stir, stiffen as she tried to remember where she was, relax as she remembered where she was, then stiffen again when she remembered      where     she was.

 "Hey," he said, amusement coating his tone. "Have a nice nap?"

 She shifted. "Maybe," she mumbled.

 Mobius was silent, mentally preparing himself for the conversation he knew they were going to need to have. "Do you wanna talk?"

 "Do I have a choice?" She snapped back, though there was no heat in her words.

 "We're going to have to have a conversation at some point." His fingers drummed a beat against her leg. "You don't have to do it now if you don't want to."

 "I can talk now," she said softly.

 "Alright. What happened back there?" He jumped straight in. Neither of them were the type to sugarcoat things. "I've never seen you act that way in the TVA."

 Sylvie was quiet for a long time and he watched her patiently. He watched her fiddle with her fingers, and then with the hem of the oversized shirt she always wore, and then the strings that were on the holes of her baggy jeans. He felt her let out a huge sigh and start speaking.

 "I don't know," she sounded frustrated at her response. "I mean," she started. "It's just that," she growled and started to bring her hands up to her head but Mobius intercepted them.

 "It's okay," he said, rubbing the back of her hands.

 "I was scared then, but I couldn't show it. I know what the TV does. I can't let them see weakness." Her hand reached up to brush against the collar before falling back down again. "When you put the collar on it was like I was back there. Except I wasn't. And it was confusing. I don't know." She brought her hand up to her mouth and started chewing on a nail. "I was scared."

 Mobius frowned. Her recounting of events sounded like what some of the agents at the TVA went through. A lot of times their journeys into the timeline were mundane. But there were moments when they saw some truly horrific things and some agents suffered more than others. He had his own nightmares of times when he had to places of war, death, and famine.

 He realized, belatedly, that he had been quiet for too long. He cleared his throat. "Thank you for sharing with me. It must've taken a lot."

 She squirmed in his lap. "I don't like this"

 Mobius laughed. "What, the bearing of your feelings?"

 "Shut up," Sylvie said, but there was no anger behind her words. “But yeah. It’s weird.”

 Mobius' face turned serious. "I can take it off." He said. "If it's causing you that much distress, I can take it off."

 Sylvie shifted. "No. I think. I think you're right. I got to get all this," she waved her hand, "under control. I never had to live with other people before. I never had to…" her face scrunched as she cast around for the right word.

 "You never had to control your emotions before,” he offered. “Outside of running from the TVA of course."

 She nodded. "When I was on my own, I didn't have to hide. But now..."

 "But now that you're here around others you try to bottle it all up until." He mimicked the sound of an explosion.

 "Yeah," Sylvie said softly.

 Mobius rested his chin on top of Sylvie's head. "You know you can trust us right? Me and Loki. You don't have to hide from us."

 "Yeah but-"

 "But you've been hiding for so long. I know. But you can trust us. We can help you. I can help you."

 She nodded. "Ok."

 ----

 Mobius looked away from the TV and up at the doorway. They had long since relocated to the couch, content to mock whatever shows that were playing on their TV. He was sat at the end of the couch, feet propped up on the table. Sylvie was curled up next to him, head in his lap. He played lightly with her hair, the red light of the collar blinking lazily around her neck.

 Loki raised an eyebrow at the scene in front of him. “      What is this?    ” He mouthed.

 Mobius smiled. “      I’ll tell you later,”     he mouthed back. He looked back down at Sylvie who didn’t seem to notice the other’s entrance. She was engrossed in the scene playing out on the television.

 “Ahem” Loki cleared his throat. He grinned as Sylvie bolted upright from where she was laying. “Am I interrupting something?” Loki said, amusement evident in his voice.

 Both Mobius and Loki laughed at her reaction.

 Sylvie narrowed her eyes at the two of them. “That’s not funny,” She said sullenly.

 “It was very funny.” Loki said. The two stared at each other for a minute. Mobius walked over to Loki. It looked like the two were having a silent conversation so he just stood by. Sylvie turned away first.

 “I’ll get you back for this,” she threatened, stretching out on the couch.

 “Please don’t. The grass hasn’t grown back from whatever you guys did last time,” Mobius said as he walked over to Loki.

 Loki opened his arms pulling Mobius into a hug. “Only for you,” he said. Then he leaned forward to whisper in his ear, "I'm glad you two are getting along.”

 "Yeah well, it's a work in progress," Mobius whispered back. "But everyone's gotta start somewhere."

 "You guys have a room. Maybe you should make use of it," Sylvie shouted from her position on the couch.

 "Oh grow up," Loki

 "Why don't you go up," she said mockingly. "And then when you go up you can go do-"

 Loki snapped his fingers and a burst of green flew out of them, zooming across the room to settle on Sylvie’s lips. Her eyes widened as she tried to open her mouth but couldn’t.

 Mobius sighed, "You're going to have to undo that," he said.

 "But think of the peace and quiet we can get."

 "We had peace in quiet before you came Loki. Besides, I don't think it'll be worth whatever revenge plan she'll cook up." He winked at Sylvie.

 Loki rolled his eyes. "Oh fine." He snapped his fingers undoing the magic. He turned away from Sylvie who was stretching her jaw and back to Mobius. “You know,” he said, walking them towards the door. “If you’re tired of peace and quiet we can go upstairs and make some noise.”

 Sylvie groaned. "You guys are disgusting."

[croik]

The TEW series timeline

is efffffffffffffffffffffed.

Which is nothing new.  The series has never had a consistent timeline from one installment to the next, or even in the very first game, when many people pointed out that the dates listed in Seb’s journal didn’t match the dates printed on the newspapers.  Then in the DLC we were treated to the major contradiction in event order of whether Juli joined KCPD before or after Myra disappeared.  The notes in TEW2 confirmed that the first game takes in 2014 but otherwise don’t have many dates listed, and deliberately tiptoe around any mention of Ruvik’s time with Mobius, and how long Union has existed.  But using the journal, the flashbacks, and Jimenez’s notes, I did my best to come up with a decent timeline.

It only illuminates more plot holes but OH WELL LET’S DO IT.

So here are the dates as given by Seb’s journal and other documents in the first game:

Roughly 1986 - Ruvik and Laura burn in the barnfire

Nov 2004 - Seb makes detective

Dec 2004 - Seb is partnered with Myra

Feb 2005 - Myra is injured on duty and Seb confesses his feelings for her

Mar 2005 - Seb proposes to Myra, is partnered with Joseph

Sep 2005 - Seb and Myra get married

Jul 2006 - Lily is born

Feb 2012 - Lily dies in fire

July 2012 - Myra admits she thinks the fire was not an accident

Aug 2012 - Juli joins KCPD

Sep 2012 - Myra disappears

Mar 2013 - Seb interviewed by IA

Oct 2014 - The Beacon Incident

So Seb was 28 when he made detective, Joseph was 24 when they met a year later.  Lily was almost 6 when she died and at the time of TEW2 would be 11.  Juli is 24 in the first game so she joined at 22, which kinda fits with her saying she joined Mobius “just out of her teens.”

The DLC contradicts this timeline, saying that Myra disappeared “way before” Juli joined KCPD.  That’s not just a number flub, that’s a direct change in the order of events (/salty).  So do we just push back all those events in sequence, or do we assume that Lily was younger than 5 when she died?  Her appearance in STEM suggests we can’t just age her down, so the whole thing has to move back.  

The comic tells us that Lily died 5 years before TEW1, in 2009 (protip: don’t bother reading the comic, it’s not relevant to anything).  I’ll buy that for a dollar, so adding in the details from Jimenez’s documents in the DLC, here’s the adjusted timeline with extra info:

Sometime before 1986 - Jimenez joins Mobius

Roughly 1986 - Ruvik and Laura burn in the barnfire

Nov 2001 - Seb makes detective

Dec 2001 - Seb is partnered with Myra

Feb 2002 - Myra is injured on duty and Seb confesses his feelings for her

Mar 2002 - Seb proposes to Myra, is partnered with Joseph

Sep 2002 - Seb and Myra get married

Jul 2003 - Lily is born

??? 2004 - Juli runs away from home

??? - Sometime in here Ruvik is recruited by Mobius

Feb 2009 - Lily is kidnapped by Mobius via housefire

July 2009 - Myra admits she thinks the fire was not an accident

Sep 2009 - Myra disappears - joins Mobius 

Aug 2012 - Juli joins KCPD

Mar 2013 - Seb interviewed by IA (this could be anytime now)

??? - Sometime before TEW1 Ruvik sabotages STEM and is imprisoned in it as a brain

Oct 2014 - The Beacon Incident

???? - Lily becomes the core of Union

Oct 2017 - The Union Incident

Five years before the game is a good number because it’s kind of in the middle between “recent” and “a long time ago”, which are both used to describe the event by different people/notes in TEW2 (because words don’t mean things).  This means Seb was 25 when he made detective, Joseph was 21 when they met (just about the youngest he could be), and by the time she leaves STEM, Lily is 14.  It took 3 years for Myra to become high enough in Mobius to be recruiting agents herself.

There’s no indication at all of how long Union has been functional, as far as I’ve found.  Most of the notes talk about how much they learned from the Beacon incident, as if STEM 2.0 was created from scratch only after the first one fell through.  But if STEM 2.0 didn’t exist until sometime after Ruvik’s, what did they do with Lily for the five years before then?

If you line up the timeline to Jimenez’s notes in the DLC, at the point in which Lily was taken by Mobius, Ruvik was working on STEM alongside Mobius, while Jimenez was stealing pieces of his work to publish himself.  This is around the same time that Jimenez handed Ivan over to Ruvik, to punish him for snooping around.  Ruvik’s audiologs around this time talk about the many victims he’s connecting to STEM and too each other, and how much he’s fascinated by and enjoying their suffering.  But at this point, STEM does not have a core.  Ruvik talks specifically about connecting and disconnecting to his subjects so that he can experience their terror and also observe from outside.  There wasn’t a single person sustaining the machine - this was even before they were aware of a shared universe inside the STEM, because it’s not until Ruvik is in the machine that patients start sharing their experiences of the STEM world with Jimenez, explaining that certain geographies and even “souls” persist inside after someone’s been connected.  Ruvik doesn’t mention this at all until he himself is trapped inside.  

And yet, in the TEW2 notes, it notes that Lily was chosen/kidnapped because they specifically knew already that only a psychopath or a child could function as the core of STEM.  Five years before STEM first gained a “core” Mobius had already picked Lily to be the core, at a time in which Ruvik was using STEM exclusively to torture mental patients.  

(The fact that they refer to Ruvik’s STEM as stable or successful in any way already cheeses me a little, because no, it never worked as intended, NO ONE SURVIVED IT EXCEPT LESLIE even before Ruvik toasted Beacon).

An argument could be made that Mobius was always making two STEMs - that they were copying Ruvik every step of the way with their own machine.  But then why the desperation when Ruvik sabotaged his so that it would only work with him?  After that point, everyone who entered the STEM ultimately died.  They had no way of seeing inside STEM and could only depend on what the patients were able to describe after they emerged, before they went into comas and perished.  So why not just scrap Ruvik and the Leslie option and continue forward with their second, if the had a viable alternative?  I can’t really rationalize a scenario where STEM 2 exists alongside STEM 1, especially given the tone of the TEW2 notes.

And I especially can’t picture that Mobius, who Jimenez described as “archaic” before he and Ruvik came on board, took and perfected Ruvik’s research before he did himself.

But then why kidnap Lily when STEM is still so young and more or less completely non-viable to them, and what did they do with her for five years while they waited for Ruvik to complete it?

The other possibility is that Jimenez’s logs are just bullshit, and Lily was kidnapped after Ruvik was put into STEM, so they could start working on a 2.0 before having fully given up on 1.0.  Basically, that no shred of canon within the franchise can be trusted, because nothing is true everything is permitted and subject to retcon at a moment’s notice.  But that raises the question of why did they keep Ruvik’s brain in a jar for five whole years while the machine was not viable?  That is a long time to be putting patients into the machine only to have them die.  Why not just scrap it if you have another option that’s not killing all your guinea pigs?

To say nothing of the other children that came before Lily.  Lily is described as “the most stable core we’ve had” and by the time she’s in place, there are already contingencies  to handle a core disappearing or escaping.  A core can only be missing a few hours before Union starts to break down, so once Lily was in place, she couldn’t leave.  How long was she in there?  And if she wasn’t in there, what were they doing with her while Ruvik was having his tantrum?  In all that time, how did Myra not find a way to get Lily out until after she was plugged into STEM, even when Mobius’s attention was on other children?

Mobius has always been the worst “we control the whole world” evil organization I’ve ever heard of, but I can’t wrap my head around this contradiction.  They kidnapped the daughter of two police detectives because she was just *that smart* so they could put her in a machine that a psychopath was using to torture mental patients with.  And they thought that would help them rule the world.  I’m trying really hard to find a train of logic that makes sense and it’s just not working, unless I toss out everything that anyone tells us and pretend canon says completely different things.

I mean, that’s what Haaga and Johanas did already, so I guess it would be well within my right :B

Anyway, that’s the state of the timeline.  If there’s something I missed or a logical explanation to be found, please let me know :<

[homelygrantaire]

so! this is my @preachersecretsanta wherein I make it way too obvious that I am biased towards a particular character, and try very hard to feature all three characters fairly. I hope I did well in doing that - and that @mobius-loop likes it!

I honestly could retitle this as ‘cassidy gets inappropriate boners at the worst of times’ or ‘cassidy would die for jesse/tulip’ 

the prompt was: ‘but I love you both’ this is more of a...Cass is obviously in love with both of them, and doesn’t say it bc eMOTION? 

Summary:  If Cassidy had a duty in life, any sort of predestined plan, he figured it was distantly related to the contours of Jesse Custer’s arse.

One      

Cassidy wasn’t entirely sure what he was getting into when he agreed to go with the preacher, and his girl. What he did know was that his preacher was wont to get himself into spots of trouble, and there was no way he was going to let them go on a road trip without him. Even if he wasn’t wanted.

Overall, he was beginning to feel like some sort of guard dog, ripping into anyone who got near his padre. (He would have extended that to Tulip, but she threatened to gut him if he ever suggested she couldn’t take care of herself, again.) Jesse wouldn’t see it that way, of course. Protecting the preacher from the forces of the unknown, from chainsaws, and whatnot – was a thankless job. Not that he minded. He was grateful to have the company of a man, and woman that he enjoyed being around.

The bloody clones – or angels, government implanted cyborgs, or what have you not – hadn’t reappeared for a while. He supposed that was grand, as he was getting right tired of beating them into the ground like feckin’ pancakes –  Or chopping them up into bloody bits or – well, he could go on for days on end, couldn’t he. Mostly it had been a grand ol’ time, beating the shite out of the terminator wannabees. A part of him wanted to question why the idjits hadn’t come back – especially after the dramatic confrontation at the hotel – but it wasn’t in Cassidy’s nature to probe farther than he needed to. They were gone, for now, and he was satisfied with that.

The many conversations that he, and Cassidy had been entertaining, and a bit enlightening providing Cassidy with company, and keen insights into the preachers’ thoughts. He was tight lipped, that one– but what he did say was indicative to the sort of person Cassidy had figured him up to be. And as fucked up as the Preacher was, Cas warmed up to him fast.

It didn’t hurt that he was bloody handsome, on top of that.

And the least he could do was look. Cassidy figured it was polite, and all – acknowledging the hard work that went into the beauty of Jesse Custer. Padre went on, and on about the creation of his Lord, and how they should see it as beautiful. So, logically – it should follow that someone should be appreciating the sight of this man. And who better to do so than him.

If Cassidy had a duty in life, any sort of predestined plan, he figured it was distantly related to the contours of Jesse Custer’s arse. And what a mighty fine arse it was.

Presently, he had a grand view of it from the seat he was perched in, as Jesse leaned over Tulip. They were bickering about something – he figured it was nothing of importance as they hadn’t called him over – Jesse’s hand around Tulips’ waist, guiding her pool cue carefully. Something about the way they were pressed together, Jesse’s groin pressed all against the back of her lithe form, did something for him.

He immediately resolved himself to a little alone time, whenever possible.

Cass himself was nursing a shitty beer – some kind of watered down American shite, watching them with keen interest. The bar was nearly dead at this time of day, only a few miserable blokes sipping quietly into their lagers.

This silence is interrupted almost abruptly by a gruff voice. “You two need someone to play?” The man was tall, built tougher than a brick house. His chest was broad, arms bulging out from his sleeveless shirt. There was a cigarette dangling from in-between his teeth, and he nodded towards the pool table. “Me, and my friend over there could use a distraction.”

He motions back to the aforementioned friend – who was jostling his leg up, and down – but managed to nod his approval.

“Well,” Tulip starts, leaning back against Jesse, pool cue in hand. “We’d be alright with that – but what about raising the stakes?”

Jesse’s brow raises, and Cassidy leans forward, rapt. They both share a glance, before the man speaks again. “What? Like...putting money on it?” He eyes the two of them, appraising them slowly – and apparently finds that acceptable. He then slaps a fifty twenty-dollar bill onto the pool table, and grunts. “S’that enough?”

Watching Tulip smile is like watching an explosion; it is beautiful, and sharp and amazing.

Something in his gut squeezes tightly in response – and unsure what it is, he ignores it.

“That’s more than enough.” She responds, offering her hand to shake. He ignores her hand, and goes to shake Jesse’s – a move that spells his doom – and Tulip grabs his wrist, a certain look on her face. “He ain’t the one making the bet with you.”

He hesitates for a moment too long, but accepts the handshake.

It doesn’t take long for them to handily kick their asses. They play three games, each time doubling down their bets, spurred on by Jesse pretending to play badly, or Tulip feigning ignorance of how to play the game. However, the last game, they drop all pretenses.

Tulip sinks the winning shot in the pocket smoothly, and grins, as smug as can be.. “Well, boys – I think that’s all you’ve got.” She scoops the winnings towards her, and arches her brow. “Unless you want to bet…what do you think, Jess?”

Jesse snorts, adjusting his collar – one that he still clung too, even after leaving Annville. “Don’t think they have anything left. You bled em’ dry.”

The uglier of the two takes offense, easily. His broad, heavy hand slams down onto the table and he scowls. “Are you fucking with us? Because it ain’t funny.”

Tulip raises a slim brow, leaning against the pool cue. “Well, we were waiting to see how long it took for you to notice. I guess you aren’t an imbecile, then. Just plain ol’ stupid.”

Cassidy laughs, not able to stop himself, and the skinnier of the two cunts glares at him, and takes a step forward, a glint in his eyes. “You think this is funny?”

He coughs, grin stretching wide. “A wee bit, yes.”

“Care to explain why?”

Cassidy pauses, scratching at his nose briefly. “Well. Cause it was obvious, yeah? They were setting you up, you gobshite. Christ almighty, are you slow. They got you hook, line, and sinker, eh?”

The man charges blindly ahead, and Cas is able to trip him -

Jesse reacts quickly, grabbing the man’s arm, and twisting it up against his back, making a sickening crack. The man squeals, making that same bunny noise that Donnie made when they had first met, when he first realized there was something more to this preacher man.

Afterwards, after they had been kicked out of the bar, back into the car – Cassidy quietly concludes to himself, that he may love these two idiots.