#but just like. idk. wild to have this experience where it’s like ‘huh i can tell a thing i’ve worked hard at is paying off actually’

[newtkive]

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 4 - agoraphobia and burger king on 5th street

summary: a personal experience provides a way for newt to connect to y/n.

warnings: strong language, mental health talk, depression, medication (its my literal prescription i mention oops this is like a self insert fr), mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

--

THE GLADE

[ 10:52 am ]

y/n: it’s official yall

drugs saved my life

tommy: huh??

minho: same

newt: wow, i’ve never seen your name on my screen before 12 pm

y/n: shut the hell up bitch

newt: ouch, touchy

minho: woah

touchy 👀

are yallll..?

y/n: you’re sick

tommy: are we going to ignore the drugs statement??

like hello are u ok ??

newt: you’re annoying minho

minho: yea <3 😊

notice how they didn’t say no

y/n: you guys just don’t understand how a girl like me needs beauty sleep..

and no we aren’t

gally: all that beauty sleep and ur still walking around with that mug.. yikes.

y/n: 😑

i hate you i haete you i dhateoyifu

minho: great she’s having a fit

y/n: no one cares about me

and you think i’m ugly

this is so sick

and you don’t even care that i’m on drugs

☹️😭😭😭😭 done.

newt: no one said that love

gally that was rude

minho: BRUHHHHH

here she goes

tommy: I CAREE????????

DO I NEED TO COMEGET YOU????

y/n: yes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

before i do something crazy 😭😭💣

minho: THE BOMB IS WILD

tommy: stay where you are

i have your location

newt: uhhh

y/n: pause what

minho: tommy why would you admit to that

tommy: im On my way! what’s the issue

sorry autocorrect

y/n: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY LOCATION????

gally: can you guys shut the fuck up

minho: the drama queen is here 😍

gally: stop

alby: I have it on Life360, I imagine Thomas does as well. In fact I have all of your locations.

y/n: oh

i forgot about that app..

minho: i didn’t. i get a notif that newt’s phone is at 5% all the goddamn time

even tho he said he deleted it

newt: just turn it off then

i redownloaded it don't track my app intake

minho: no it makes me feel less lonely

y/n: awwwww

idk how you do that newt

newt: do what?

y/n: not charge your phone

if my phone gets below like 15% then the monsters will get me

tommy: omg me tooo 🥹

newt: i was about to say you sound like tommy.

tommy: don’t say that!

she’s on drugs i don’t want to sound like an addict 😔

newt: she isn’t on drugs thomas

tommy: she literally said she is newt :/

5 mins and i’m there y/n

y/n: are you actually fr

thomas..

we live very far away sweetie

newt: i mean

if you were in trouble you don’t think we’d come get you?

tommy: ^^

but life360 says you’re at the burger king on 5th

minho: no that’s me LOOOL

y/n: NEWTTT ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

tommy: wtf

i’m the one who’s coming to get u

why does he get the credit

minho: no tommy you’re coming to get me

tommy: oh yippee i get to see my friend 🤗

newt: ewwwwww

y/n: EWWWWW

tommy: OH STOP IT

y/n: why burger king of all places min

minho: why drugs of all things y/n

gally: she’s not doing drugs are you guys fuckin insane

y/n: yes i am

it’s 10 mg of fluoxetine 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ONCE A DAY!!!!!!

IM ADDICTED

newt: no you aren’t, 10 mg is the smallest dose

minho: told y’all she was on drugs

y/n: ???????

minho: over the year

you’re too hyper to not be on some crack shit

tommy: oh stop that’s not nice.

newt: it’s not drugs like that minho stop.

tommy: uhoh he brought out the . at the end

y/n: it’s just for anxiety cuz i can’t leave the house without going into a breakdown

minho: she got acrophobia

told y’all she was mental

newt: what the fuck are you talking about

tommy: oh i know that word

fear of spiders 🕷️

minho: wtf no

fear of outside

y/n: i’m not afraid of outside

newt: that’s agoraphobia you fucking dumbass

y/n: 😍

i did NOT mean to send that lol oops

newt: ??

oh, okay

minho: when he’s a know it all 😍

when she’s agoraphobic 😍

y/n: when he’s at burger king on 5th because he has no food in his fridge and can only afford a $1.99 whopper with the coupons from the newspaper 😍😍😍😍

minho: 😒😑

newt: LMFAOOOO

GOOD THAT

minho: british people be so annoying

saying shit like gormless minger and good that be sooo real rn

newt: i have never said gormless minger in my whole 26 years of life.

y/n: you just did bro

newt: call me bro again

y/n: bro

brosive

brother

stepbro

minho: laughed until i saw the last msg :/

newt: 😑

y/n: ok youre the perverts

minho: cant you take your prozac and turn back to normal now

y/n: so you DO know what it is..

gally: wym 'back to normal' like there was smth before this??

y/n: real i been like this for life

tommy: i got whopper and two large fries and mozzarella sticks

newt: wow

y/n: wow just call him a fatass newt.

newt: i would never, stop

y/n: 2 large fries is kinda crazy tho

tommy: i have to get enough to share with my friend

minho

gally: surprised you have friends

tommy: yeah you are not one.

gally: RUDE?

y/n: WELL LMFAO

minho: i literally already ate also gally ur not my friend either

newt: same

alby: same

gally: well why tf am i in here

y/n: well you're my friend!

gally: great.

y/n: not with that attitude..

tommy: y/n you're ok though right??

y/n: yes tommy im fine sweetie

go eat your food

tommy: okay i wish you could share these fries with me

y/n: me too :(

minho: i don't

big back would eat em all

y/n: i actually hate you

__

newt

[ 11:45 am ]

newt: hey

y/n: hiii :D whats up??

newt: idk why but this feels like secretly texting you across the room at a party

y/n: actually tho

picture me giving u a look from across the room

newt: you would blow our cover immediately

i just wanted to let you know if you needed any like,, advice or something with your new medicine i'm here for you. i take the same stuff on top of lexapro

y/n: oh really?

newt: yeah i do

y/n: newt :( thank you

i am a bit nervous to start it tbh

newt: i understand, i was too

but hopefully it'll change things for the better

y/n: i hope so

i didn't realize you dealt with anxiety n stuff

newt: more than you know

you aren't the only one and you aren't alone w it

y/n: you're sweet newt, thank you

newt: don't mention it :))

sorry the smiley was creepy

y/n: lmao no i like it

if you need to talk or anything too i’m always here

newt: yeah?

y/n: of course ): you’re my pookie

newt: one day you gotta let go of that word lmao

y/n: but you love it tho

newt: you tell yourself that

actually are you free rn?

y/n: yeah! i’m just about home what’s up?

newt: i’m bored so pick up the phone

y/n: NEWT LMAO

ok fine 😒

[jamilviperswife]

Jack howl stole my heart and also sorry, idk any writer words so I have no idea what I'm asking for, but remember when Jack works at a restaurant as the "I lift heavy stuff" guy. Can you write something about him having a crush on a waitress there?? Go wild on what you think should happen or be said!! Tysm if you take my request ❤

Hello Hello! Yes I think I do, I believe it's in his Port Fest vignette? Unfortunately I don't know much about the Port Fest since I'm on the EN server and ended up missing the event when it came out on EN 😭 but I'll try my best from my knowledge! I'll write this as a one shot/drabble ^^

Warning(s): None

Content/Character(s): Jack Howl, fluff, Jack gains a cute little crush on a waitress.

"Thanks again for offering to help with these boxes Jack! With your muscle we should be done moving these boxes within no time!" Said an older man with a joyous laugh. This man was the owner of a restaurant near the Port. He was currently trying (and failing) to lift some heavy boxes that just arrived inside the restaurant, before Jack came along and offered to help, seeing the older man struggle to carry the shipment in.

Jack scratched his neck sheepishly, a light dust of pink coming to his face. "It's no problem really. You looked like you needed help, so I offered."

"Oh don't be so sheepish boy! If it weren't for your kindness, I'd probably be on the ground with a broken hip, hah!" The man said letting out another laugh as he watching Jack pick up another crate and bring it inside.

Jack sweatdropped at the comment, setting the crate down inside the back of the restaurant where everything was stored. Brushing wood particles off his hands he let out a sigh, "Ah, that should be the last of it."

"Splendid! Oh, before you go, would you mind helping me with one other thing?"

"Huh? Sure, I don't mind. What do you need help with?" Jack asked with a tilt of his head. Helping out some more shouldn't take too much longer, he didn't see any harm.

"Well you see, the Port Fest is coming up soon, and we're quite short on staff. I was wondering if you'd like to help me out with that problem temporarily! You'd be payed for your time of course! And you wouldn't be working long, just an hour or two. What do you say?" Asked the man as he gave Jack a pleading look.

Jack contemplated it, he said they were short on staff? Around this time? That definitely wouldn't be good for the workers, they would be so stressed. And he did have experience working in the Mostro Lounge, albeit only a little. And the look the manager was a giving him wasn't helping either. With a scratch of his head and a loud sigh, Jack caved.

And that's how he ended up here, currently working back and forth from taking orders and seating people. The manager wasn't kidding when he said they were short staffed, there seemed to be only 4 other people working, excluding himself. The restaurant was getting rather crowded. The day of the Port Fest was tomorrow, and some people had come by early to take everything in. Said people also just had to stop by and eat at the restaurant Jack was currently helping at. He sighed to himself, wondering if it was a good idea to take up this job. But seeing how stressed the other staff were, even with his help, cleared away his doubts.

Jack had just come back from taking someone's order and was on the way to the kitchen. However his mind began to be occupied with other mindless thoughts. Unbeknownst to him, he was so distracted he didn't see a little waitress holding a tray of drinks rushing over to some unhappy customers.

The two of them ended up colliding, the drinks spilling everywhere as the waitress fell on her bottom. Jack too a few steps back to balance himself after the collision, eyes wide from surprise.

Said waitress rubbed her side in pain, muttering a few curses to herself. Just great, this was her second time on the job and she has already to make some customers unhappy, run into someone, and spill the order of said unhappy customers all over the floor and herself. She was going to get fired for sure.

Jack knelt down to her level and offered her his hand, "Hey! Are you alright??." He asked her, eyebrows furrowed in worry. He waved someone over to clean up the mess and take care of the customers who just lost there drinks before turning back to the waitress. "Let's go to the staff room and get you cleaned up."

'Do I look alright!?' She thought, taking his hand with a huff as he brought her up from her sitting position.

Jack didn't know why, but he suddenly started to feel queazy. His face seemed to flush lightly at the feeling of her hand being placed in his as he lifted her up and brought her to the staff room. 'Her hand is so small compared to mine...' he thought before shaking his head with a face redder than before.

Once in the staff room, Jack handed her towels and napkins to wipe herself off with, which she thanked him for and used with little progress. "Ugh, my uniform is soaked with sweet tea, I have fruit chunks stuck in my hair, and I smell like a cocktail! This is the worst." She said with frustration, throwing the used napkins away before burrowing her face in her hands.

Jack bit the inside of cheek. She was clearly upset, but he didn't have much experience with comforting people, much less girls. He awkwardly patted her back, "I'm sure it's not the worst, there should be another uniform you can wear."

"No, you don't understand!" She pulled her hands away from her face, teary eyes looking up at Jack, who looked back at her in surprise. "You saw how angry those customers were! It's only my second day on the job and I've already made a mess of myself, I'm going to be fired! And I really need this job!" She cried out.

You felt foolish, here you are looking like mess, crying Infront of some random boy. Could your day get any worse? On second thought, better not jinx it.

Jack started to panic, now she was crying! What was he supposed to do?? He took the time to examine her, she seemed to be around his age, maybe a year older. He'd be lying if he said she wasn't attractive. He felt himself flush again. After a few seconds, Jack finally spoke up. ".. You're not going to be fired." He mumbled out.

You blinked at him in confusion, did he not hear what you just said? All the reasons why you would be fired? "What?"

This time Jack looked at her with determination. "I said you're not going to be fired. I know the owner, he'll understand. I promise. I'll make sure you keep your job, so!...please don't..cry.." He mumbled the last part,but you still heard him.

You stared at him for a few seconds before bursting out laughing, "Hahahaha! You barely even know me, and yet you're determined to help me keep my job? Your something else." You couldn't help but let out another laugh as you smiled at him.

Jack flushed once again, his tail wagging involuntarily. Your laughter sounded melodic to him, your smile was so bright. "..." He decided he was going to keep that smile on your face, he wanted nothing more than see you smile again. "Well of course, I wasn't going to let some pretty girl get fired over a little thing, and you said you needed the job right? I don't know your situation, but I don't mind helping you!"

This time your cheeks dusted a light pink. He thought you were pretty? You grinned at him,"So you think I'm pretty? How bold, I don't even know your name~." You teased him, letting out a little giggle at his surprised and flustered reaction as he tried to explain himself. 'How cute..' you thought to yourself.

A few minutes had passed by at this point, you had managed to get all the fruit chunks out of your hair. Though you still needed to change, your uniform was dry. Albeit a little sticky from the drinks.

"Jack Howl."

You turned to the big wolf, confused. "What?"

"You said you didn't know my name. Well, my name is Jack Howl." Said wolf responded, shyly rubbing the back of his head as his tailed swayed behind him.

You grinned up at him, "It's nice to meet you, Jack. I'm Y/n." Grabbing an extra uniform you turned away from him, waving bye as you went to go change. "Thank you for helping me Jack, I really appreciate it."

Jack waved back before leaving the staff room, a small grin on his face. Y/n huh? The name suited you well.

The rest of his shift had ended before he knew it. Handing the uniform back over to the manager before grabbing his stuff and getting ready to head out. Something caught his eye, a piece of paper seemed to have fallen out of the locker he was using to put his stuff in. It was a little note.

Picking it up Jack looked around to see if anyone had mistakenly put it in his locker. But he saw no one, and reading the front of the note, his name was in it. Confused, Jack opened it up and read the contents.

'Just in case I don't see you again, here's my number, xxx-xxx-xxxx, call or text me sometime!

-Y/n'

Jack's tail began to wag behind him, a small dopey smile made its way to his face as he stuffed the note in his pocket and headed out. He really hoped to see you again.

[starxsstuff]

COLLEGE AU

Hobie X Black African!Reader

(Please excuse any errors when it comes to British and African Vernacular the reader will be Congolese in the story)

Summary: You are a new exchange student in Nixon Univeristy(idek) And you meet a Student called hobie brown, who changes your life in more ways then one

A/N: like I said before I'm not get with british slang/culture or Congolese slang/culture so please excuse any errors

Y/N POV:

It's my first day at Nixon university. I was scared because everything is so different from back home. People were meaner.

I walked in, and everything was so... bright. I went up to a place called the prin...ci..ple office?(for this story Y/N isn't great with English). "Ehh.. excuse me is this the princi..ple office..?" I asked with my accent pushing on the words coming out of my mouth.

"Ah yes! You must be Y/N, I'll call your tour guide down for you!" I thought to myself *what is tour gui..de*?. Next thing I know a tall skinny man who had alot of spikes and wild hair came through the office.

"This the new stu'ent her'e yea?(I'm not great with british vernacluar😭)" "Yes this is Y/N and Y/N this is hobie". *why is his name so weird why his parents name him a hoe?* I thought. Just then the office lady spoke again. "You guys have all classes together except 1 so Y/N will be with you for the whole day" "Oigh' let's go yea!?" This "hobie" said and I start to follow him out the office.

HOBIE POV:

This new student was very pretty her lovely Melanated skin compliments everything about her.

Me and Y/N are walking through the halls silently so i break the silence by introducing myself. "Oi there,names Hobie..Hobie brown and I play the guitar what 'bout u huh?" I said looking at her.

"I am Y/N kasongo.. I..ehh Dr.. awll" She stammered through the whole sentence. I could tell she's

Not from here from her accent,but curiosity got the best of me so I wanted to ask.

"Oi yea where u from?" My voice lurks with curiosity. "I from Congo"

"What lang ya guys speak there"?..

"We speak fr...ench" "can I hear u say sumthin in french?".

And from that day on,they talked and hanged out with eachother.

- A few months later -

Y/N POV:

The day was here. The day of the dance I'm going with hobie, of course. Lots of things happened In these few months.

My English got better and I started dating hobie. Me and hobie were laying with eachother in bed a couple hours before the dance starts.

"Hobie you know what's crazy?" "Whot?" He said with the fine ass british accent. "It's the fact that a couple months ago we met in an office and talking about how I wasn't from here and you were showing me around to classes and now were here cuddling with eachother".

-The day of the dance-

NO ONE'S POV:

Y/N and hobie were ready to dance their asses off. They walked in through those doors while people stared in awe looking at their outfits

(Can be one of these)

Hobie grabbed Y/N's hand and started to slow dance with her as they had a very passionate and slow kiss . Man, college is the best! Was the last thing Y/N ever thought that night.

I might make a Part2 with this with some angst but idk

Also like I'm not familiar with the college experience or british and Congolese vernacular/language

Requests still available and If anyone had tips I'd love some

Made by @milesmoralesloverr

Requested by @nagi3seastorm

I'm also doing Hobie headcannons later!

[skeletonlover69]

Alright, so, petting.

Like heavy petting. Just caresing the hell out of those bones.

I can't stop thinking about it tbh. So here's a recording of my skeleton sensitivity headcanons.

Since they lack al the skin and nervous system and stuff, I reckon that they have little to no experience with numbing limbs. Perhaps if there's a detachment of bones they do experience numbness? Yeah.

On a similar note, bones break, but do bones bruise? I have no idea. Let's say that bones do bruise, like, if the surface is damaged but not cracked, just debilitated, the marrow will sort of bleed just below the surface and create bruising.

Which takes me to the next point, marrow. Do skeletons have marrow. Of course they do, that sounds painfully delicious. But I'd say it depends on the skeleton. Like someone like ainz/momonga will definitely have it. But if they're like sans or lewis who're less physical, then no. They probably just experience the ocasional cracking.

Now that we have established some pain meters it's time for the fun. I bet that mostof their bodies feel like when someone touches an inconspicuous partof your body. Obviously there's levels of comfort when it comes to physical touch (me for example, i hate touching, only my partner can touch me), but let's say that most oftheir body registers touch as non-sexual. The key here is intent, of course; it's not the same thing to rub an arm than to find more fun places, but if the intention is horny enough then it might be a good starting point.

I'd say the more sensitive places are the lower ribs and below the arms, the whole pelvic area but specially the wings of the pelvis and the skeleton thighs (i know thick thighs save lives, but consider im deranged). The neck is ought to be sensitive sometimes, to certain touches. it's a wild card.

The further from their center the least sensitive I would say. So less sensitivity in hands and feet, skull as well. But that makes it more fun!! Imagine lapping between those phalanges in the middle of the do, and watching your skeletons expression. Food for thought if you catch my drift.

Now, i know what i said about the skull but their teeth is obviously sensitive, and that's where they taste too. Which, ok, magic, or something. But I know what you're thinking, "graph, would you smooch a skeleton" and the answer is yes. i would peck their forehead and kiss their temples and press my lips on their teeth ever so softly. and idgaf if they cant "kiss back", shut up you know nothing about skeleton kisses. so maybe they wanna try and just press their mouth to your cheek too. thats a little skeleton peck. or maybe they bite down on your neck/shoulder and that's very hot. wow this, huh, the rooms kinda warm

so about the sex and all, idk actually. look i dont even have that much sexual drive, so i dont particularly care. i imagine some skelet hands wandering places and maybe theyre a little uncomfortable but in a tasty way, you know. like those fingers are inside and they kinda hurt because bone is hard,but youre into it. there's probably going to be a safe word.

And your skeleton partner can feel pleasure, but im not sure they can experience climax. I will have to think about this more. It just doesn't make sense for them to have it, I guess? Like what's there to climax. But I guess somehow they much reach sensory overload.

anyways, those are some of my musings. don't mind me. i think a lot about touching those bone guys

[aeide-thea]

i’ve been spottier lately than i’ve ever been in my life, and like, i’ve been trying to treat my skin very gently while it’s having this crisis which does finally today seem to maybe be starting to work, knock on wood, but like—

it’s been interesting to go through this, and to compare my fairly equanimous experience of it with how frustrated and self-hating eg Baby Sister gets about her acne—and like, she’s never had it as bad as some people but she’s certainly had it worse & for much longer than i have, so i don’t mean to pat myself on the back abt being comparatively more evolved or whatever; more like, i can really see how all the work i’ve put in wrt decentering decorativeness (or, like, not even so much ‘decorativeness’ as ‘desperately wantingneeding my own appearance to gratify me and experiencing a sudden whole-body flush of shamemisery when it inevitably doesn’t, for a bunch of reasons including—but very much not limited to—genderstuff’) has paid dividends in helping me let this happen without real angst? instead it’s just been like, huh, ok, skin is cranky & doing an unaccustomed thing, sounds like that’s my cue to be patient & gentle with it and avoid… the same self-critical physical hyperscrutiny i’m already avoiding? cool, glad i built up those muscles already: thx past self!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

honestly odds have never been higher i marinate and formulate some kind of essay / formaler blog post about winston billions as inadvertent autistic character like good lord

[movedsomewhereelse]

team rocket gets fucking thrown into hisui au

uhh i don’t use tumblr nor do i know how to use it so i am sorry if this is messy but here are headcanons and whatnot

(put under the “keep reading” thing in case some people don’t like. care about it idk)

• i think they’d get put into hisui inbetween series so the only members that got thrown are jessie, james, meowth, and wobbuffet

• they only remember themselves and each other. they have vague memories that they were on the same team or something and there was this really important boss guy that they feel like they should probably get back to. also yknow how there’s like those ingo things with remembering emmet? i think team rocket would be like that with ash+pikachu but less angsty (or still just as, depends)

• pokemon wise, i like the idea of jessie getting a shinx because she likes it’s personality or something. for james, i think he’d get an eevee, but hey who knows not me

• maybe meowth would convince a random pikachu to join them. because it feels important that they should get a pikachu

• everyone is super freaked out about this talking pokemon that looks like it should be on 2 legs so they don’t really like him at first but then he helps translate and then people start using him to translate and like him and stuff

• they sometimes hum their parts in the motto. like they don’t know the words but they can get the tune

• it’s not a song but i don’t know how else to phrase it

• they hate being part of the survey corps but they do it for the money. gotta get rich somehow and pay for food to eat

• sometimes they’ll discuss memories. they’ll try to figure out and put pieces together (not that it ever works. everytime they think theyre close, there’s one thing that makes it fall apart everytime)

• they hang out with ingo sometimes because they feel like they’ve seen him before, somewhere (whichever series’ this takes place between, it’s up to interpretation but they’ve either fought him like that one time in B/W or on TV or something)

• at some point they get shocked by lord electrode and blast off and while they go james is like “… shouldn’t we be saying something here” and jessie says swears. then wobbuffet does the wobbuffet thing.

• they show up again like 2 minutes later looking fine and everyone is like “wtf.” because that isn’t normal

• why are these random ass people completely fine after getting shocked by LORD ELECTRODE

• melli goes absolutely wild and is torn between being like “DAMN😍” and “DAMN🤬”

• i think it’s funny to think about some child wanting to dress up meowth or something and give him bows and crap. so he looks in a mirror after and gets hit with a horrible wave of deja vu that does not feel good

• yes it’s about meowzie. after a minute it’s back to normal but he is freaked out for a while so ehh

• the horrible deja vu continues when jessie shows this hairstyle that she got and doesn’t think it’s her look but james is bluescreening because that hairstyle reminds him of someone who is really not cool at all (jessebelle)

• jessie never wears it like that again

• now for jessie to experience, there’s that one island in the coastlands where there’s a chansey and while everyone else is like. scared because it’s an alpha pokemon, jessie is like “omg?????? wtf????” and she approaches it. then it attacks her and bam bad deja vu

• i don’t really know how wobbuffet would experience it so have fun imagining that

• i have two thoughts for the ash and pikachu situation- either A. they are in the present or B. they are in the past and i have thoughts about both

• A. the present. i think that ash would go to the next region (or stay in kanto idk whatever you want to imagine) and everything is normal at first

• but then after a bit of time passes it feels like somethings missing but he isn’t sure what

• at some point he randomly mentions team rocket and jessie and james and whatever. but then his companion(s) go “huh??? who are they???”

• it clicks. team rocket has not been around where did they go what

• so ash begins to search because he sure as hell isn’t going to the police about it, because 1, he is a hero, and 2, they would arrest them immediately

• basically he searches for team rocket while no one else does and it’s just shgshs yeah

• and B, where he turns up in hisui too with pikachu

• i would think he remembers everything. so when he sees team rocket he flips out and is like “wtf what are you doing here how did you follow me to the past!!!”

• jessie starts to be like “to protect the w-“ and then stops because. what????

• they don’t remember the motto but it feels like they should be saying it but they don’t know what it is

• they all stand there in silence until ash is like “aren’t you… gonna continue the motto??” and they’re like “what?”

• after a bit of debate ash and pikachu realize they don’t remember and are actually kind of sad now

• hey at least they don’t want pikachu now!!!…. hey what do you mean you have the urge to take pikachu please don’t steal him

• i don’t know it’s an interesting concept that i may expand on later

rhats pretty much it now i think!!! okay bye tumblr i may be back one day maybe not

[alternautxyz]

so thems owl house huh

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

so that happened and i feel like talking about random stuff again

also spoilers

damn dude just like true colours

ok but seriously

in general this episode was really great, but i can’t help but feel like it was rushed and that multiple sections were supposed to be whole eps. its not a bad thing in the ep and i don’t even think i really hurts the viewing experience, but there were multiple parts that were kinda glossed over like the big fight and what happened between the king concussion. i can’t blame any of this on the crew but disney for making a dumb mistake, and seeing the potential for a season 3 at the end, i can only feel bad for what disney missed out on. and even then dana and the crew did a great job for what they had.

ok back to random stuff that last goodbye between the adult squad is very (crying noises)

also why did eda’s sigil thing not apear until raine touched it

illusion guy who really cares about appearance shows up to one of the most important moments of his life like he just got out of bed. hilarious

yknow for something that happened within a plot of a kids show, the whole eda gambit worked out surprisingly well for the first few minutes until eda’s arm is very visibly cursed

note to self: the collector is very naive when it comes to trusting people. like even after being betrayed by belos he still took kings words seriously one he pinky swore

also belos likes screwing people over. yes we already know this. like i get why he didn’t want to let out a destructive god of chaos, but like still mean you just lied and with a smile on your face

so luz just straight up almost died with the petrification thing. good thing she noticed the glove in the corner and went specifically for that as she was being petrified. smart move kill the guy

or was it before idk

ok so the draining happened and since the only two drivers have sigils, the ship just straight up crashed and presumable cracked king’s head and now they had to leave alador behind to keep of the abomatons hope he’s fine

then they showed up at the altar thing and have to look at everyone dying. guess they really know their plan failed

and now they’re going to luz how did king sleep through all that lol

also how is hunter more fine than everyone else with sigils

ok so after that illusion spell gus might just actually know all of belos’ backstory good for him i guess we’ll need that later

belos was being nice to hunter and idk if that was an act or not. either way he went insane the second he saw flapjack so i guess it was caleb’s palisman

belos specifically put all the golden guards into one specific hole. damn dude just like hollow knight

also the collectors in the hole of failures massive L for him

also kiki knows about all of this

and the titan locked the collector away so thats cool

and king’s collar hides him from the collector so thats cool too. since it was on all of the walls where he was born those symbols were probably to protect him from the danger of the collector

also what was the collector doing at the end if they didn’t even know how to play owl house were you just destroying the place to be dramatic

damn raine just ripped off eda’s arm just like amp

ok so the whole arm chopping thing protected her from the draining spell, but that was going to be fixed anyways. it could have also helped from the curse if that wouldn’t have been stopped by the spell stopping. and it means she can still do wild magic if she ever can again so thats cool too

where did luz get the eyebrow scar tho we just never see it happen

and yeah the collector’s cool and the luz possession theories and now deemed outdated and funny

they just turn the tone of the scene from intense to “wtf is happening is this actually happening did they just do that” and its honestly great

“i play it every day” “i play it every hour” (pain noises)

(everyone dying) “boop”

i really like the type of villain that is just not fazed by anything and treats everything like its no big deal. like the collector treats everything like a game and just casually destroys the big bad of the series in like a second with no fanfare. then they just. move the moon. like with an ipad. no fanfare. it’s great

also belos probably isn’t gone forever so

he then proceeded to destroy the whole world for an owl house

and now they’re going to the human realm that would have made a great few seasons huh disney

they put a lot of emphasis on the belos blobs dripping onto hunter so that might be something or they may just be dramatic

also luz is just very down with sacrificing herself so i guess the protagonist role is really getting to her

so king pushes them into the portal and now the main trio is separated and one of them with their magical friends ins stuck in the human realm

just like amphibia 

truly is the true colours of the owl house

also speaking of amphibia ANNE BOONCHUY ANNE BOONCHUY IT’S ANNE BOONCHUY SHE’S ANNE BOONCHUY THIS IS HOW THE CROSSOVER CAN STILL HAPPEN

ok so like theres a headline about anne being in a frog land and it being a hoax. so like amphibia happened in the same universe as this and probably happened a while ago and people are already questioning the legitimacy of it damn. now i’m already questioning when in the amphibia timeline this happens like is it during 3A, after frogvasion, a few years after that. must be wild to hear this happening while your daughter’s also claiming to be stuck in another world

anyways that last scene was really good and captured the right emotions for me but my brain still reeling from amphibia just made me think of that.

so yeah now we wait for the specials and im curious as to how the story will continue. idk how they’ll follow up on the collector, how they’ll get back, what they’ll focus on, and how this story will end, but i’m sure that whatever happens will be a fun ride. or a painful one. that works too

[bookwyrminspiration]

oh gosh this is like the fourth ask ive sent you in maybe a few hours, but now im wondering how bronte was treated when he manifested as an inflictor. like. from what we know, there have been no other inflictors before or after bronte (until sophie) and like. it mustve been...pretty wild to develop an ability whose sole purpose is to hurt and inflict pain onto others in a society that is completely averse to violence.

and also i had a though recently- what if elves werent always averse to violence? weve had hints dropped that elves have done some pretty wild shit (i think theres a mention in a book somewhere that insinuates elves have a lot of power and have used it in battles before) and now im wondering if the damage caused by elven abilities getting out of hand led to the matchmaking system (in the way that the matchmaking would ensure that the "no violence" gene passed onto more people- and maybe it was even entirely artificial?) although im not too sure about that one.

BUT BACK TO BRONTE, i find it really interesting since like...i mean, people mustve done some studies on him, right? like, theyre not just gonna let a threat....wander around or something. especially depending on the age he manifested (and i dont think sophie unnaturally manifested her inflicting, so it seems to be brought upon by emotion and stress, which means that he couldve manifested at like. literally any age. i mean sophie was, what, really young? idk where im going with this since sophie's inflicting is artificial but yeah) so im just. what did they do????? i mean, there had to be something bronte was basing his lessons for sophie off of, so im assuming either he or others did some looking into how inflicting works, but honestly all the scenarios i can think of for that are. uh. kinda really awful?

idk where im going with this but. yeah. huh. thats a weird thing to think about. and something were never getting answers to. thats fun.

- pyro

(also it is very late so apologies for any misspellings and stuff!)

welcome back, pyro my beloved!! you're welcome to send as many asks as you want whenever you want--your insights are always fascinating

i feel like inflictors and mesmers might be treated similarly in elven society--grady did mention an interaction he had with Bronte where he received some advice about his ability once--because they hold a certain level of coercive power over others. it's like they're treated like a threat just because they have the potential to be one. the same way people assume grady mesmerizes others to get whatever he wants, they may assume Bronte would hurt anyone who doesn't give him what he wants, if that comparison makes sense

as for him being the only inflictor, we're left with the option that either he really is the only one, or there was someone else once who has since bit the dust, kicked the bucket, flown to close to the sun, some other strange idiom for dying. both have a lot of negative implications, but I'm gonna stick with the "he's the first and only" one for rn.

also, you're idea about elves not always being averse to violence prompts a lot of thought! what were they like before that? were there more volatile, destructive abilities? what was the world like back then that necessitated those abilities? what happened to those people and their abilities--i'm assuming they're dead now. and since elves are now averse to violence, those abilities are like dead abilities (like dead languages), as no one has them and no one will have them ever again. they're bodies couldn't handle it anymore.

kinda ties into the idea of matchmaking--although instead of the "no violence" gene I think they might've also tried to specifically keep the really powerful abilities from being passed on, things like Bronte's inflicting that appeared to be rooted entirely in violence. or! idea: what if there was something so horrific that happened as a result of elven violence that it permanently changed how they perceive it, becoming an instinctual need to get away from it. my brain is trying to relate this to the uncanny valley effect, like how it's this instinctual discomfort.

if i'm remembering correctly, sophie naturally manifested her inflicting when she was nine, so as long as bronte was stressed enough--and he wasn't living during a time of peace. i don't think the treaties had been established yet--he could reasonably manifest even younger. and this is an ability no one has seen before! here is this elven child, this small kid, just absolutely loosing it and hurting everyone around him. i think the only way Forkle got Sophie to stop was by inflicting back on her, but there wouldn't have been anyone able to do that for Bronte. I can't imagine he likes his ability, every time he's used it it's hurt someone. it was probably trial and error to teach him, maybe even him just abandoning what others were saying--because no one else had a violent ability and could understand--and just figured it out on his own. i'm fairly sure the knot of threads under the ribs trick Sophie uses is one Bronte developed himself, so I've just always thought he was using personal experience to teach her.

i also don't know where I'm going with this, but bronte as a whole is a very interesting character! there's so much about his backstory we don't know and probably never will. just inflicting as a whole stands out as an ability because it just doesn't make sense for an elf to have. if i don't stop now i never will, but those are some of my Thoughts !!

[empty-dream]

THE FINAL CHAPTERS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

First and foremost, THANK YOU OOKUBO-SENSEI FOR THE FANTASTIC JOURNEY!! I really went to this thinking it's a popcorn action with actual firefighters series, but it turns out to be a religious horror dimension-bending one. Madness indeed. Tbh, I watched the anime first because I saw a clip of David Production's work where Shinra fire-skiing to save Iris. And for me, ep8 with Shinra and Tamaki is the best shit ever. And I started making edits from its S2 too. So ngl, the anime plays a significant part of my Fire Force love. But I went on to read the manga before S2 was made. And I love it. Wild, stupid, running on Rule of Cool, but also creepy, horrifying, uncanny, mysterious, mindboggling, and then warm, gentle, exhilarating, satisfying. It's all those in one package. The ideas that Ookubo-sensei apply to the story are pretty creative and sometimes never even seen before (*cough* 255 *cough*)

So let’s do this one more time

Somewhere a god belongs? And the answer to that is Nevada, USA? Ok sure man whatever 🤣

Ma’am the pink haired one set her own friend on fire

How about 2 girlfriends and 2 boyfriends huh? He totally deserves it.

M Y  F R I E N D

Pry this scene out of my cold dead hands

THE HUGE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE. Also FUCKING FINALLY Juggernaut gets his date with Tamaki. Dude's been at this since forever. It's also a nice closure since at the beginning, Juggernaut asked Shinra to get Tamaki's number and now it ends with he himself asking Tamaki out. And their relationship progress is built slowly but consistent, from Tamaki not seeing him being head over heels for her, to them trying their best to save each other, to him basically finally confessing and she saying yes. And it's telling something that Tamaki's lucky lecher curse never activates on Juggernaut, despite him being around her age and often being around her.

Look, some days before the finale dropped, Ookubo-sensei uploaded many drawings of his characters wearing the signature Shinsengumi haori. And I thought well he was just having fun with his profitable OCs. AND LO AND BEHOLD THE COAT DESIGN :'D

OBI AKITARU, GENERAL COMMANDER OF WORLD HEROES FORCE!! Is this related to My Hero Academia's World Heroes Mission?

Of course Beni and Konro would be the top of Combat Commander. And it's so nice to see him working under/with Obi. The Shinmon Benimaru really holds Obi that high.

The boys (sans Rekka) also in the Force! I'm still holding a grudge towards Rekka for everything he did to Tamaki and Nataku and the other experiments. But if it means Karim finally get peace, ok.

Kurono you really have to say it so soon lolol. Also Nataku with hairband is so cute!!! (Whatever the fuck is the Rekka in him tho why are the stars positioned like that lmao)

Hibana is really the harcode stan type huh. 

Aah it's really Shinra and Iris endgame. I admit the direction has always been obvious. First girl he met and saved. They highly respect each other. And there is this level of understanding between them that goes so far that she wholeheartedly confides in him even when his doppleganger acts so horribly. I love the Holy Woman Suffering mini arc when they spend a day together in the Holy Sol Church, it is the start of their deeper relationship as people and not simply as comrades. And “chasing after her“ sounds somewhat tinged with jealousy but also understanding way to phrase it... Idk i just have that feel.

Oh and I'm actually a Shinra x Tamaki main (cuz the double tsundere vibes, looking like hair-dyed Soul and Maka, and whole long speech and tags of why) but as I said, Shinra x Iris and Juggernaut x Tamaki are teased and developed consistently since the beginning. So it makes sense for the two pairings to end up canon. Meanwhile after the aftermath of Obi rescue arc, Shinra x Tamaki moments practically vanish. So I perfectly understand that (And c’mon, those pairings are cute!)

Shinra's hair is longer!! Cute!!! 

Dragon is a dragon..

Can you two stop looking at each other like that hnghggnh

THE TRIO BACK AT ACTION TOGETHER!! :’’’’’’D

The progenitor of the I-Have-Met-Excalibur face

AAAAAAAAHH I love it when Ogun hugs Shinra like that. He has been always physically affectionate like that... :')

By Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest do you think she means Ogun, Shinra and Arthur lmao

Ooh la la. I stan one (1) loyal man.

She really doesn't waste time lol.

I once said that I hated Inca on personal level. It's because I do get the part where danger makes her feel alive, but I hate that she intentionally and gleefully makes problems for others in the form of having to chase her around while she kills and creates havoc for her own pleasure. Narcissistic. And it still stays true even now. But while ever since her introduction arc I get the idea that she is somewhat twisted-ly into Shinra, I am just surprised it comes to this state. Something about her is kinda more humane now. Like the classic "I, your enemy, am worried" for example. And despite how twisted her baby wish and phrasing are, the fact remains that deep down, she is fond of Shinra as a hero. And this exchange is just so casual yet so warm, like two normal people. It's still the same troublemaker, selfish Inca, but even such person can feel gratitude and awe towards someone who saves her. Bravo, Ookubo, for creating a character like her that make me feel such things.

Everyone having fun and living peacefully... Charon and Haumea too.. Sho becomes friends with Nataku!! Being normal students!! And excuse me who employs Kurono as a teacher????

Daammn Shinra becomes a DILF.

OBI AKITARU FOR PRESIDENT HELL YEAH!!! I'm confused is this Arthur('s son?) or Karim('s son?)? He sounds too calm and clever to be Arthur but too straightforward to be Karim lol. But I also do think he looks too young to be one of them though hence the son...

Isn't that Mikey from Tokyo Revengers? I'll be honest, I don’t know it that is Arthur or his son or Shinra’s son. I don’t even know whose kid is the front one.

If they are both from the children generation, I know one of them must be Iris and Shinra’s. The other, I suspect Arthur with... whoever in the world he bangs.. (I’m laughing if it’s Inca) I was thinking the long-haired one is Arthur’s cuz he has sword, but the other one has different hair color from Iris and Shinra.. I’m not gonna think anymore lol.

*Inferno by Mrs Green Apple playing in the background*

I love that he has such a laid-back ‘just live to the fullest’ view about living, and it’s not because he’s lazy but because he understands the meaning of life after facing a literal embodiment of despair and the end of everything. This is the guy that defeated god and created another one. he becomes a hero for that, but he treats the deeds so casually as another job he is supposed to do anyway. In 302 he reports back like he just extinguished a building fire and not the entire goddamn planet. A hero through and through.

Maka’s mother’s finally make an appearance!!! How long has it been again..

FIRE FORCE CRAWLS SO SOUL EATER CAN RUN 

What if Soul is actually a Kusakabe descendant? And Black Star is Rekka's? I want to think Maka is Kotatsu's lol. Anyway, NEXT IS SOUL WORLD!!

[terraf1rma]

RATING PEOPLE'S IDV MAINS: BY A THREE WEEK OLD PLAYER WHO GETS TERRORSHOCKED TO KINGDOM COME EVERY TIME I PLAY AGAINST SCULPTOR (HUNTER VERSION)

Galatea (sculptor): y'all terrify me. Like I could be breaking apart a chair and pop! There's a wild statue around me and banging me to death! And bam! A girl with dwarfism (according to the idv community??) in a wheelchair appears and makes you feel guilty about yoinking a pallet on her! Like man do you know how awkward I get when I see a kid in a wheelchair get hit by a pallet i threw down? Man. It's awkward, that's for sure. How do you guys even get through windows?

Jack (the ripper): now, I would get scared of you if it wasn't for the fact that your whole invisibility shazam got ruined by that weird red light thingy. Not sure what it's called but eh. Like you could've terrorshocked me while I was decoding but nope. Red light! Gotta go fast! Suddenly I am sonic and dying in a minute!!

Luchino (evil lizard man): ...I've only ever seen one Luchino and I felt so bad for the guy that I purposefully stayed behind and let him terrorshock™ me like the man couldn't get the jump on any of my teammates I wanna make a pun but idk how to fit it in help-

Mary (bloody queen): I'm stuck between running away screaming and respectfully asking you to marry and terrorshock me. Like that special carry where it looks like Mary is ballroom dancing with the survivors as she carries them to their doom? Exquisite I almost want to get myself killed just to do that it's simp culture shush

Joseph (photographer): the amount of costumes the Josephs have are...intimidating to say the least. I mean I'm saving up for this man myself because rn he's the only hunter I can figure out how to play. Many tasty terrorshocks await me me thinks. He's also very handsome 10/10 would let him terrorshock me. Oh, and midnight gentleman? That's straight up cat culture not wolf you furry-

Leo (hell ember): people say you guys take pity on Emma mains but I've yet to see one that didn't straight up go after me and me only for a whole march like sir please this is your daughter I'm playing as have pity when you see her riding a carousel at like half health let her enjoy this ride DO NOT TERRORSHOC- your skills are very cool tho and I respect you people a bunch

Ann (the herald/nun/apostle/something religious/idk man netease makes me confused): idk how people remember you for your cat when her neck exists- I mean your cat is pretty...lanky and evil as most cats are but like sir stop chewing on my ankles thank you very much. I have no idea how to kite Ann so uh 8/10 also is it Ann or Anne cause like ....?????????

Michiko (geisha): I respect you so much like sir/ma'am/they you have peak friendly hunter energy even when you're trying to cut me down and chair me but please calm down with your butterflies if you don't come around to using them also your so pretty help oh gosh I am ✨simping✨

Smiley face: I forgot his first name @_@. Uh y'all are cool I met one friendly joker main who watched the sea with me and a geisha in lakeside and it was peak bonding moment tbh if you look past the fact that I was bleeding to my death. I'm not even giving any opinions at this point I'm just sharing my experiences huh-

Grace (naiad): guys. Stop drowning people. Notice that there's an r in the word drowning. I'm fine with you downing me but my god STOP MAKING MINITURE LAKES AROUND CHAIRS PLeaSe if I don't die from the chair I'm going to die from the bathwater you're using to create mini lake naiad or not. Anyways I think I know how to kite you??? I'm getting close to figuring it out. I just gotta loop around stuff right? Fun. Until I die.

Violetta (soul weaver): I admire Violetta mains because I tried her out once and I swear she took up half of my tiny little mobile screen and I had no idea where I was going. The fact that you guys can cacoon (I can't spell help-) people to death is really cool too. You guys are probably ento fans too- maybe I think idk how I linked entomologist with soul weaver. Maybe it's the fact that they both like insects? Also does Violetta even have a face because I swear when I saw her for the first time I was crying my ass off because holy shit that's horror movie material right there sir

Yidhra (dream witch): you're clearly the thing jack the ripper mains aspire to be. Invisible- I have no idea how you guys work except for the fact that I should really find out if a character has a bowing emote because damn. At this point I might as well just join dream witch if I want to live through a match with her in it

Hastur (the feaster): when I heard the feaster part, I thought of some guy who really liked eating. Turns out it was just this tentacle abyss guy- I mean you guys are great when I'm not distracted by the thought of food- anyways slap me bitch I have my protection shield thing on that I got from hell ember hah

Gamekeeper: yet another character who's name I forgot. Probably some kind of canadian-american name tho like uh Alfred or um Sam. Abraham?? Washington???? Idk what classifies as an American/Canadian name bro all I know is this guy somehow got the head of the moose shoved into him and became a guy with a deer head. Wack. Your ability to yoink me back with that trap is really cool tho so props to you guys for that

Wu Chang (white/black guards): your hotbox is legendary. I was across the map once and a Wu Chang was on the other side and I suddenly got terrorshocked out of nowhere??? Like sir?? I wasn't even close to you and you still slapped the heck outta me? YOU HAVE AN UMBRELLA HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE- I- in conclusion? Wu Chang mains are hot as fuck but goddamn someone control that legendary hotbox or I'll hit them with the gardener's tool box INSTEAD-

Burke (mad eyes): I saw a decoder once and didn't know what it was so I tried it out. Didn't know it belonged to mad eyes. I was in a duo hunters map and I was having the time of my life watching everyone run before noticing that there the hunters (Burke and Mary) were together near a decoder and a survivor just casually watching them. So I looked around them and saw one person and I just thought to myself "wow, who's the oblivious dumbass who's next to them?"

And then I went out of it, looked around for a chair to dismantle and lo and behold.

I was the oblivious fuck next to them.

I got sent to jail via Burke's ability.

Robbie (axe boy): I feel so guilty about hitting Robbie mains with pallets so instead I just vault through as many windows as I can and pray for the best-

Bonbon (guard 26): fuck you and your bombs. I mean you're cute and all but goddamn that dance emote of yours-

Antonio (the violinist): this man could step on me and I would thank him. I radiate peak simp vibes around Antonio mains and I don't regret it. Y'all are so cool?? Like sir youre slapping people with music notes and they sound nice??? Like oh hey I'm at half health but at least I get to listen to nice music while running away from death-

In conclusion? Antonio mains are great I love them

Percy (the undead): fuck you I would rather be chaired than dying pathetically near one. At least let me have my dignity won't you? I mean you guys are cool but no💖

The Will brothers (the breaking wheel): what- what even are breaking wheel mains? Immortal? Inevitable ? I've only ever managed to outrun on and that was because I was near the church pews in the red church. You guys genuinely scare me and when I'm in a match with breaking wheel mains I just run upstairs and cry (in-game not in actual life though I have considered it once or twice-) I'm relieved by the fact that your faces are just masks tho. Y'all are dicks too✨💖

Phillipe (the wax artist): the amount of inappropriate jokes surrounding you guys- I swear no wonder y'all are so eager to chair people-

[myvirtuesuncounted]

Insane anon back okay so basically- I grew up in a VERY Christian household (as I'm sure you can imagine from the pig incident yes we're calling it that now) my grandparents are extremely Christian and nearly all of my aunts and uncles are too, and the ones who aren't still do stuff like "don't say oh my god it's disrespectful" and go to church if asked and whatever. My town is generally like this too so everywhere I go I'm most likely going to see or hear something to do with religion. So I didn't really pay much mind to religion considering I'm really little and too busy collecting Pokemon cards ponder the possibilities of heaven or hell, much less moral philosophy and ethics which we're led to believe is what gets us our sentences in the first place. So my school taught us religion, but we had to have our parents say if we could attend or not. Take a wild fucking guess what my parents then condemned me to. So then I had to show up to a religion class like every day to learn about God and such. Now, because my school had only labelled the subject "religion" and not "Christianity" (which is the only religion they even taught us, dickheads) my small child brain registered that religion = Christianity and they're just two interchangeable words for each other. Which is, to say the least, not correct. But I didn't know that I was 8 and so I went on like this for admittedly longer than I should have qeygdjoaudgjldugas but anyway- I learnt all about Jesus and Mary and God and everything there was to know. Well when I say learnt I really mean "picked up as much information as I could" cuz let's face it teaching a religion class to a herd of 8 year olds who have had next to no prior experience to religion is pretty much just "yeah tbh I would murder my brother too I get it" "I wonder if Jesus played bass I feel like he would" "mr religion teacher what's a virgin and why is Mary one?" So yeah fun. But then eventually religion class ended for the term. Except. I was friends with a few other kids who were Muslim and Buddhist and Hindu and other religions that weren't Christian. And keep in mind I still don't know there's more than one religion I think it's just another word for Christianity. So while they're sharing their experiences with their gods and traditions and such, I'm registering it all as one big thing. And so my small child brain is like "oh I guess there must be just a bunch of different gods in religion huh cool I wonder when lunch will end." So all this time I'm walking around with the idea of like every god to ever exist (yes even the what 500 I think Egyptian gods they had) just existing at the same time and this made complete sense to me. And Diya my friend I am going to be completely honest with you I didn't realise religion didn't just mean only Christianity until I was like 11 it's embarassing but true 😭 I also thought Islam was a country. I'm so glad no one on this webbed site knows my irl identity I don't know how I'd cope with you people having a name to put to this 😭😭😭 but yeah point is don't be a dumb shit like me and teach your kids what religion actually means please I can't stand the thought of there being more of this nonsense. Also my religion teacher didn't believe in evolution and thought David Attenborough was manipulating us all. Idk how he got that job. But yeah. Bonus story: I asked my religion teacher "wouldn't Jesus have been black because of the place where he was born, why am I seeing a bunch of skinny white people" and he told me to ask Jesus myself and gave me a colouring sheet and walked away and I'm 8 I don't know how to commune with all-knowing immortal beings so I just wrote yes and no on my eraser and flipped it a bunch of times. So yeah if you guys were wondering Jesus is a black trans man and he loves abortion and autism and hates billionaires this is a fact because I said so okay peace ✌️

this is why we hate religion classes that only teach christianity, and that last bit about jesus, preach 🙏

[spoondrifts]

long post ahead I'm sorry-

crack au where Jonah Magnus is a good guy but everything keeps going wrong and he spends all of his time running around trying to stop his employees from diving headfirst into their Fuck Up™ of the week

in this au Jonah is almost entirely incompetent but he's got the exasperated parent thing down enough to make up for his lack of braincells

he's also at least 7% dumber than he is in canon

s1 Jon: please call pest control there are so many worms

s1 Elias: I already did

Jon: and??

Elias: they ate them

Jon: the worms?

Elias: the pest control guys. the worms ate them

Elias spends the entirety of season 2 desperately trying to convince Jon that none of them killed Gertrude (in this au Gertrude just had a stroke or something in the tunnels). Elias stops Jon from destroying the table but a week later something heavy falls on it and the NotThem escapes anyway. Elias bashes in Leitner's head with a pipe after mistaking him for the monster and Jon gets framed.

now Elias has to convince this hunter that Jon is innocent while Jon runs around and harasses various fear avatars (who are all very amused with Elias' wayward Archivist). Jon assumes Elias knows nothing about all this bullshit because Elias is just his weird and uptight boss who accidentally killed someone, he can't possibly know that there are literally fear gods ruling over them

olive ⚰ has named the group 'Avatars ✨'

JMagnus 👀: Jude please don't hurt him. I'll explain everything when he gets back to the Institute.

🔥: too late

JMagnus 👀: What?

🔥: too late

🔥: burned him

[JMagnus 👀 is typing]

JMagnus 👀: Where is he now.

🔥: going to mike

JMagnus 👀: Mike Crew???

🔥: ya

Elias RACES to Mike's house but he. he fucking misses them. the Beholding helpfully tells him that they're all going back to the Institute so Basira and Daisy can interrogate him, which isn't ideal, he'd really like to not go to jail, so he drafts up an employment contract on the way back and barely manages to escape the whole thing with his life intact.

then he explains everything to Jon because if Jon is going to end up being the Archivist, being uninformed won't do. Jon becomes the Archivist completely on accident and Elias is desperately trying to make all of this work because, haha, the Unknowing is coming up, and Elias is not in the fucking mood to deal with clowns.

olive ⚰ has named the group 'all that is terror uwu'

spidey🕸: lmfaooo jonah how do you make an archivist on accident

JMagnus 👀: He stumbled into it. All I can do now is ensure he doesn't die.

JMagnus 👀: Or get further injured by the rest of you.

🔥: woops

🎭: hEy gUyS lOnG tiMe nO sEe

🎭: gEt iT eLiAs

🎭: sEe

JMagnus 👀: Beholding puns are not amusing from a manifestation of the Stranger.

🎭 has named the group 'eLiAs bE niCe tO niKoLa cHaLlEnGe'

🔥: haha

spidey🕸: I'm sure Nikola will be on her best behavior

🎭: yEaH i wOnT kiDnAp yOuR aRcHiViSt

[JMagnus 👀 is typing]

mike n ike: hey guys what'd I miss

🔥: arent you dead

mike n ike: yeh but I came back

JMagnus 👀: NIKOLA ORSINOV WHERE IS JONATHAN SIMS

🔥: can't you see haha

mike n ike: heh "see"

JMagnus 👀: NIKOLA

spidey🕸: wow he must be pissed

spidey🕸: he left out the punctuation

JMagnus 👀: I WILL BREAK ALL OF YOUR PLASTIC BONES WHERE'S MY ARCHIVIST

🎭 has left the chat.

JMagnus 👀: what the FUCK

since he's still a coward Elias sends Michael to go fetch Jon, only finding out after the fact that he very nearly almost signed Jon's death warrant. Elias is now speedrunning Jon's development because fuck the Unknowing is coming up really quickly and Tim is a self destructive mess and Melanie keeps trying to stab Elias and Martin is a pining idiot and goddammit he didn't sign up for this

Elias prepares Jon the best he can for the Unknowing, because even though he knows the ritual will fail, the Circus can still cause a considerable amount of damage and he needs them out of the way.

the Unknowing happens. Jon ends up in a wack ass coma, Tim is dead, Daisy's in the coffin, and Basira is starting to look like the better choice of Archivist because jesus christ Jon has no self preservation instinct. Elias doesn't get arrested this time around but his ex husband starts coming by the Institute and fucking with all his employees. and the Flesh is attacking. jesus. goddamn.

olive ⚰ has named the group 'bully elias'

JMagnus 👀: Why are you all so mean to me? I'm arguably the nicest one here.

🔥: ur joking right

Peter Lukas: you're not nice you didn't buy me an anniversary gift 😢😢😢

JMagnus 👀: I was busy.

Peter Lukas: doing what

JMagnus 👀: Stopping the Flesh from destroying my Institute. Besides, you didn't remember my birthday.

Peter Lukas: you're 200 years old how could I remember 😓

helen!!!!!: We All Know I'm The Nicest One Here!!

JMagnus 👀: How did you make your text that colorful?

helen!!!!!: IDK

JMagnus 👀: Liar.

helen!!!!!: That's Literally My Job

olive ⚰: hey eli your archivist just woke up I think

🔥: ew why

helen!!!!!: How Delightful!! Maybe I'll Throw Him A Glad You're Alive Party!!

olive ⚰: should we invite him to this chat since he's an avatar now

Peter Lukas: no 🙅 🚫❌

Peter Lukas: I hate archivists 😤😤

olive ⚰: still mad about gertrude huh

🔥: were all still mad about gertrude

🔥: but jons fine once you burn some manners into him

JMagnus 👀: Can you all please stop hurting Jon? Or talking about hurting him? I would like my Archivist to not acquire any more scars.

🔥: damn

Peter Lukas: damn 😔

Elias keeps trying to teach Jon how to pick certain victims to feed off of because personally he has no qualms about feeding from innocents but Jon!! actually trusts him!!! so Elias doesn't want to push Jon into making decisions that will offend his moral sensitivities.

things are actually going okay for a while. Elias starts going home at a reasonable time in the evenings and Jon is actually getting some sleep. and then-

Elias is having a nice dream about Peter trying to fish Simon Fairchild out of a sky filled with eyes when he abruptly sits up in bed, wide awake.

"Ah, fuck," he says to Peter, who is laying on the floor where it is Lonelier™. "Jon's doing something stupid. I Know it."

Peter's mumbled "isn't he always" goes unnoticed as Elias hurries to the Institute, where he finds a fucking rib on Jon's desk and the coffin in the middle of the room.

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'archivists ruin my sleep schedule and my sex life'

JMagnus 👀: What the fuck do I do?? I can't go into the Buried! Why is Jon so stupid? I didn't know he had zero braincells when I hired him!

🔥: ngl why havent you fired him yet

JMagnus 👀: Beholding won't let me. We're all bound to the Institute.

🔥: F

JMagnus 👀: Why are there no Buried avatars in here? Please someone help me.

mike n ike: lol the buried is gross why would anyone go down there

spidey🕸: does he have an anchor?

[JMagnus 👀 sent an image]

🔥: is that a fucking rib

spidey🕸: wow that's not a good anchor at all

spidey🕸: he needs someone he loves

JMagnus 👀: Thanks. Gtg.

spidey🕸: np

🔥: are we not going to talk about his rib

🔥: how the fuck did he get that out of his body

🔥: yall

🔥: YALL

it takes three days for Elias to find Martin.

"Please tell me why the fuck you're dabbling in the Lonely," Elias says as Martin steps sheepishly out of the fog.

"Ah. Well. Jon can't See into it very well and sometimes we like to spice up our se-"

"Stop before I have to gouge my eyes out again."

"A-Again-?"

Elias drags Martin back to the Institute. Martin starts setting tapes on the coffin because "Jon loves these" and Elias starts bashing his head into the wall.

Jon climbs out of the coffin with Daisy and Elias almost considers locking Jon in his office so the damn archivist can't do anything else ridiculous. instead, Elias very calmly takes Jon by the shoulders, and shakes him like a rag doll.

"Stop fucking with entities, you stupid, stupid man," Elias says, shaking Jon more viciously now.

after several hours of breathing exercises Elias returns to his house and doesn't take his Sight off of Jon for the rest of the night, which is a fun experience for Peter when he wakes up and finds Elias' bloodshot eyes staring directly at him in the morning.

JMagnus 👀 added Daisy to 'archivists ruin my sleep schedule and my sex life'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'archivist hate club'

JMagnus 👀 has named the chat 'shut up peter'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'you love jon more than me'

JMagnus 👀 has named the chat 'I don't love either of you I'm heartless'

Peter Lukas has named the chat 'I want a divorce'

spidey🕸: jeez take your marital dispute elsewhere

spidey🕸 has named the chat 'lonelyeyes dni'

Daisy: wtf is this

mike n ike: it's a chat for avatars

mike n ike: and ex avatars ig

Daisy: didn't I kill you

mike n ike: yea

JMagnus 👀: Hello, Daisy. Welcome to the group chat.

Daisy: why is Jon not in here

Peter Lukas: because I hate him 😁

spidey🕸: Elias talks mad shit in here and Jon would get offended

Daisy: if you talk bad about Jon I'll rip your throat out

Daisy: :)

JMagnus 👀: Noted.

mike n ike: he's kinda rude tho

Daisy: I've killed you once

Elias' only goal now is to keep Jon and his assistants from pulling any more wild stunts without his supervision. his renewed involvement with the archival staff results in a few things he'd hoped to avoid: drink invites, physical contact (Martin is surprisingly quick to start hugging Elias once he realizes Elias won't stop him), and- shudder -feelings. because Elias genuinely cares about his staff and doesn't want any harm to befall them. especially Jon. Jon is his Archivist, the only one to ever succeed like this, and Elias will be damned if he lets anything happen to him.

"Why do you care?" Jon asks, once, compulsion thrumming like static on his tongue. "About us, I mean. I would've assumed you'd want to perform the Beholding's ritual."

Jonah Magnus attempted the Watcher's Crown once, when he was young and new. he'd brought his patron close, but not all the way through, and the backlash of power killed all the inmates at Millbank and severely crippled Jonah's connection to the Eye for months afterward. he grew to assume that the Beholding simply preferred the world as it was--ripe with fear for watching. it didn't need a ritual.

he instead dedicated himself to growing stronger, cultivating his Institute of knowledge, his stronghold. if he tore out a few people's eyes when he got too old, then, well, collateral. but he doesn't want the world to end, and knows now that no ritual will ever succeed unless it brings in all the Powers at once. and he doesn't want that either.

it's concerning to him that Jon seems to be collecting marks regardless. the only ones he's missing are the Dark and the Lonely, and Elias is determined to keep it that way.

he explains all of this to Jon who, to his credit, takes it pretty well. Jon is fascinated with historic life and Elias spends some time simply recounting tales of his youth, when he still bore the name Magnus.

they bond. it's good.

and one day Basira does a little too much research and discovers the dark sun waiting in Ny Alesund. she insists they need to go and see what's left of the People's Church, they need to ensure everything is taken care of. Jon is rather insistent too. and Elias wouldn't have been inclined to let them go, except Peter was finally home after weeks at sea, and it wasn't like Jon was defenseless, he could call Elias if anything went wrong...

so, very reluctantly, Elias gives them the all clear. Basira, Jon, and Martin head north, and Elias almost forgets they've gone when he arrives home and Peter already has dinner prepared.

Jon comes back marked by the Dark.

Elias curses himself, over and over, for being foolish enough to let them go, for not keeping a closer eye on them. he knows the ritual won't work unless a certain incantation is spoken, so he'll just have to keep world-ending written chants away from Jon. easy. and it's not like Jon will even get marked by the Lonely. Peter wouldn't.

(but Martin doesn't have the same level of control, and sometimes...)

it's an accident. Martin and Jon are testing it, pushing the boundaries, when Martin pulls them both into the Lonely. Elias threatens divorce until Peter caves and fetches them, but it's too late. Jon has been marked by all fourteen Powers.

Elias tells him, and warns him to check everything he reads.

helen!!!!! has named the chat 'apocalypse babey'

JMagnus 👀: How are you doing that?

JMagnus 👀: And the apocalypse is not imminent. I have the situation under control.

olive ⚰: ha yeah

JMagnus 👀: What do you mean by that?

olive ⚰: nothing

JMagnus 👀: Well, now I certainly think it's something.

olive ⚰: it's just

olive ⚰: don't you think it's kinda weird that @spidey🕸 has been offline for so long

🔥: thats weird shes always online

JMagnus 👀: Oliver, what are you implying?

olive ⚰: idk

olive ⚰: just weird, that's all

🔥: never good when the spiders are quiet

olive ⚰: hear hear

Elias gets a sinking feeling in his stomach, and beside him, Peter looks alarmed. meanwhile, in his flat with Martin making tea in the other room, Jon has a statement clutched in his grasp.

Hello, Jon.

I would apologize for the deception, but I'm afraid that's quite what I'm good at. I'm not one to monologue, that's more Jonah's shtick, so shall we get on with things?

I admit I underestimated Jonah Magnus. He's still remarkably easy to manipulate, but when he abandoned the Watcher's Crown ritual I knew I would have to take a different approach. The Mother is not so satisfied with the world as she may have insinuated. It is our turn to rise, Jon.

At the age of eight, you were marked by us. We sent you to the Magnus Institute in the hopes that a new Archivist would rekindle Jonah's desire to end the world. Unfortunately, it seemed as though he grew fond of you, and so we brought in a new plan. We marked you. One fear at a time. Jonah gave an admirable attempt at protecting you, but ultimately, he is an incompetent old fool, and I am a Weaver. Even Jonah Magnus dances to invisible strings.

Everyone underestimates a spider until it bites. Poison is poison, Jon, regardless of the medium in which it is served.

You will be safe in this new world. Martin, too. Perhaps even Jonah and his Lukas, if the Mother deems them worthy.

Now, please repeat after me...

Jon reads the ink scratched words, eyes welling up with tears and hands trembling, as thunder crashes outside and a howling gale picks up beyond the windows. Martin is shouting something, there's the crawling press of Elias' gaze as it rests heavy behind Jon, a silent observer. He can feel Elias' soothing presence, cool and calm in the raging storm.

Elias is still watching out for him.

Strings are wrapped around his wrists, jerking his arms up in a poor mockery of religious regard, strange hysterical laughter clawing out from his throat.

Jon's tears run red. Somewhere, Elias is still watching.

The door opens.

[nobody-knose--archive]

i’ve been aching to commentate spirit phone’s commentary for ages. glad i finally got around to it, this was an ejoyable experience. liveblog below the cut

-i'm like half certain i've heard this commentary before. maybe not the whole way through & it was probably actual years ago

-nice hearing stuff like this. in-depth personal view of the album-making process. makes it seem like more of a real thing i could do myself someday

-neil cicierega real person momence

-i could probably go real in depth about neil cicierega/tally hall parallels specifically concerning like. the arc of their musical careers. but i won't, here

-wild how i legitimately don't care much about micheal jackson

-didnt we get a bunch of spirit phone stems from the needlejuice release/his patreon? we could probably hear the funny track he speaks of here in that

-i love hearing musical artists, especially neil cicierega, talking about the meanings of their songs. like, not only has this song been claimed to hell & back by the tumblr gays, but with later ones i just can't see where he gets these ideas from. also, claiming there's any one meaning or plot to a song just seems silly to me

-shoutout to neil reusing a midi from like, 1998, that he made at 12 years old, whose entire melody was reused for the main verses of everybody loves raymond. loved finding that out on my own 2 years ago. now it's common trivia in this fandom. not bad times

-it'd be neat if neil did individual trans tracks here like he did with view monstel, those things are half of why i consider it my favorite album

-it's a lot easier to ignore the creator's intended meaning behind a song when he can't even remember it. thanks neil

-seesaw effect

-and there's my joke all but 1 of my followers wont get. moving on

-what kinds of movie theater lobbies has neil been to where there are arcade machines. i mean im not one to talk but that does sound rather strange

-why do songs' titles even need to be taken from the lyrics. ive never seen that as any sort of requisite. it's like titling any form of prose you can just give it whatever name ya like

-"this part sounds pretty cool right"

-is neil's vocal range only mildly better than mine? with training i could change that

-oh i haven't processed any of the last 25 seconds hold on

-god. a shit ton of vocal modification in this song. it's like neil returned to his roots but with quality this time

-i, as an ace/aro, have never related more to an allohet guy in my life. what is the point of eyes!

-professional humming/whistling takes skill. it's different from the recreational or casual stuff. i'd know

-there's a name for the way sound (especially music) gets distorted when moving past you and i can't remember it but it's probably what neil's referring to here in the way he recorded the intro

(- update: it's the doppler effect no need to tell me cas already did)

-as someone who hasnt seen the rugrats or take me there by blackstreet i'll just say it sounded like a bouncy music box melody. nice to hear a song that messes with the typical scales though. lydian & diatonic.

-that's a rather specific thing to be glad about, but given what he talked about in his last full audio commentary about the jew harp i suppose i'm not surprised

-i know that tmbg song now. listened to it & saw the music video too. yep they're different alright

-where the hell does neil get all these instrumence from anyway

-huh. hadnt heard this part of the commentary before making my oc concerning this song but i like to hear neil's approval concerning part of my interpretation

-i love how ive heard a billion different tellings of this mellified man story from lem dem fans talking about this song and neil's is by far the wildest

-good god that does only make it worse neil

-i love making liveblogs of lemon demon albums. with the fullerenes or tally hall i cant name a specific dude to take out my woes on generally but with lemon demon i can just say neil all the time. i like being on a casual first name basis with this dude ive never interacted with once ever

-is sweet bod the one other than cabinet man with a demo in the bonus tracks? i forget

-holy shit the boston molasses disaster someone call up soapy if it doesnt already know, it'd love this

-two thousand nine. god i miss the fiddle solo. the ver with it is truly the best one

-he pronounces it jeff? i've always read it as gef with a hard g. that's what i get for knowing words that are never spoken aloud

-that's a fun meta interpretation of this ghost story that's over a century old. i like that

-i've noticed neil generally does the same synths across a whole album. it's especially more clear in the earlier ones, and does mean i occasionally mix up songs between clown circus & live from the haunted candle shop

-ah! ancient aliens! my least favorite track on this album. i cant even claim to have the least interest in a popular one i've just generally not liked this one much from the beginning. so im curious to see what neil's got to say, i think ive been in ~new commentary zone for a while now

-anyway. newest update on the loolin not realizing a song's funky time signature front: i think this one's in 6/4. or at least switches a lot between time signatures. granted i dont listen to it very often for the reasons stated above

-see the way neil describes it. eldritch horror upon being visited by the unknown at a time when humanity'd hadn't even yet had a chance to imagine such a thing occurring. should be right up my alley. but the sound itself & many of the lyrics simply turn me away.

-must i specify i don't dislike it? spirit phone is neil's best album it not being my favorite doesn't mean i think it's bad yadda yadda nobody should be surprised by this it's not like anyone in these fandoms reads my liveblogs <3

-granted i think this is. the first bit of spirit phone content i've made on my blog ever. so who knows things can change <3

-the transitions in spirit phone are much less view-monster transition tracks & more extended outros. view-monster's were a bit more intro than outro sure but they also seemed directed upon making a 2-way rather than 1-way bridge between tracks. or something like that

-.............soft fuzzy man is an incredible nickname for a cat. i'd steal that if i werent afraid of introducing my relatives to lemon demon

-jirls

-an underlying metaphor is good enough. the literal side of the lyrics are fun. nothing but agreement here neil my good man

-the transition into as your father i expressly forbid it from soft fuzzy man is the best one in this album

-buddy you ask if a musical idea has been used before odds are the answer is yes in this day & age the question is has it been used in the way you're using it. like sure this soul jazz record from the 60s that was sold out in kansas stores for a week used this bassline that youve found yourself copying. but seeing as youre using it in some angsty garage rock ballad type tune does anybody actually care

-doesn't everybody like to say things in an unhinged manner from time to time

-imagine having a guitar dad, i say, with my dad being a folk accordion/fiddle dad, which is infinitely worse in every way

-i think he was in an actual folk band at some point. idk the 90s were weird

-iron my life?

-m-more intimate? there are a lot of ways i'd describe this song but intimate isn't one of them. granted as your father is negatively intimate so from there i guess you've got nowhere to go but up

-...still glad to see his interpretation kinda supports my oc at least

-the way he says characters in songs shouldn't worry about death really strongly makes me think this is some sort of. thematic continuation of stuck from dinosaurchestra, even if there's no real death in there. interesting. would also mean that the dad from these past 2 songs is named carlos betty (no last name)

-i literally never assumed this was a flute solo. piccolo at best. it's pretty clearly a recorder

-my mom plays the recorder. i wonder if she can play recorder better than neil cicierega

-we can throw a party in honor of the crushing weight of responsibility! i simply won't be the one throwing it because i have enough on my plate already <3

-what the hell does "a sense of intent" mean

-i've never heard rush before however i disagree with neil's understanding of 6/4. 6/4 is meant to have emphasis (onbeat or another term i can't remember) on the 1st & 4th beat of every measure, which is greatly different from a measure of 4/4 then a measure of 2/4. it's why his 5/4 always sounds weird, because while it's recognizable in sequences of 10/4, it's more 2 measures of 4/4 with one of 2/4 tacked on the end. that's also how it's different from 3/4. i don't know much music theory but what i do understand i will fight to the death about

-"canonized" that's. a very interesting term to use when referring to a former president

-from now on i will interpret every love song directed at some unseen "you" to be inviting me to marry them for tax purposes. thanks neil for being an aromantic icon

-ah hell yes hell yes man-made object is my favorite goddam song on this album

-short & sweet & good damn vibes. neil's thoughts on it all are only making it better

-wild how he uses very few vocal effects for a song that he clearly is straining his vocal range for. go off neil

-the qualifier of man-made is a wonderful thing. oldest or biggest thing? oldest or biggest man-made thing? what a incredibly important specification. a world of possibilities lie between the two. oh i love it

-just gets me thinking yknow! what we consider weird/impressive in another species, in our own species- what kind of equivalent to that would there be from an outsider looking in? are there alien versions of the significances we place upon things, that we could never imagine? the limits of the human imagination mean we could never conceive of something else in the world that isn't, in some way great or small, just like us- and are we wrong for thinking that? such a juicy topic i wish there were a name for it because it's kinda hard to explain concisely

-spiral of ants. my second favorite song from this album, in fact. a good one to experience

-the vocals are just another instrument. they really truly are. i wasn't going into this commentary expecting to feel solidarity for neil cicierega in this chili's tonight on more than one occasion but here i am.

-like, his whole stance on interpreting songs is something i agree with almost entirely. you can take it at face value, you can dig to their very depths, you can listen to songs without caring what the lyrics mean whatsoever, and those are all fun. & yeah while any of these people can be annoying as one of the types who enjoys gliding on the surface more than anything i find those who dedicate themselves to figuring out the whole meaning of a song over anything else to be both slightly scary & slightly annoying <3 keep up the good work

-i want to make songs for my siblings the way neil makes songs for his sibling(s)

-spinch

-neil really shouldn't be allowed to be this funny like this whole album youre thinking golly! he's just a normal man this neil cicierega! and then he starts listing the cat hacks jokes & you remember he's had ridiculously consistent viral success with all his humorous endeavors and holy shit it's neil cicierega in action talking about his music. god bless you neil

-you're welcome, no problem, my pleasure. good eveternoon, radio audience!

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

I managed to beat almost the entirety of Age of Calamity’s DLC 2 on day 1, and then spent yesterday wrapping up some of the remaining memory fragment objectives I didn’t get first time around. And by the end, I’d well and truly 100% completed the game and all its DLC contents and even had enough money to level every single character up to the limit of 100. GGs.

Spoilers incoming btw

So my thoughts on DLC 2 are that it’s, pretty eh tbh. Almost feels like it and pack 1 should’ve been swapped around, really. Feel like there’s just not a lot of new content here. New maps are really fun but each only has like one or two uses so there’s really not much value there. The new story content is about as lacking in substance as I’ve come to expect from Age of Calamity - it’s basically just, the game’s exact level of storytelling and writing but a tiny bit more of it. Ig it’s neat seeing more interactions? But idk I’ve already forgotten nearly all of it except Revali being good to kids or something.

Robbie and Purah aren’t really all that fun? They’re not quite Yunobo but I’d say they’re kind of one of the worst characters to play in the game. Sooga’s unlock criteria ends up being fucking stupid arbitrary but thankfully he’s extremely fun to play - albeit once again there’s no real opportunities to use him since for some reason DLC 2 is like, kind of a midgame DLC pack in terms of content?

To elaborate on that, the recommended levels are all like, 40 or something. The weapons you unlock for all the Champions are worse than tier 3 drops I had plenty of. In the spirit of Breath of the Wild, the DLC just wasn’t too rewarding to do when I’ve already done everything else. But then it’s weird because I was pretty damn satisfied with DLC 1 - in fact it felt way more rewarding. There was more content with more meaningful rewards and like new armours and weapons and shit and just like. The content felt a lot more endgame as well and stuff. That’s what I meant by the packs should have been swapped really.

Perhaps because of how these DLCs are structured the ideal way to experience them is on a fresh save - where they can be naturally occurring alongside base game content. Kinda just like BotW as well, huh?

But yeah idk for how much I was anticipating this content the fact that I knocked it out in basically an afternoon and it was so barely rewarding is just kind of disappointing, again especially because DLC 1 felt so great. Best thing to come from this wave of DLC is Sooga but I’ve used up every opportunity to play as him in a meaningful way, which is just kinda sad. Oh well. BotW 2 hype.

[sanutopia]

Three’s a Party [M]

jung wooyoung x kim hongjoong x reader

a/n: i’m so sorry this took me so long and i hope this is what you expected!! i know the request was hongjoong or wooyoung, but why not include them both? also this is literally just plain raunchy so i hope that's okay!!

word count: 3.8k

*edging, choking, blowjob, alcohol, begging (sort of), swearing, bratty dom wooyoung, unprotected sex (be safe pls) i think that’s all??? idk honestly*

“all i’m saying is that i’m okay with it and if it makes you uncomfortable, i won’t mention it again, that’s all.” 

you never thought you would be in this situation, but you kind of got yourself into this mess in the first place. hongjoong hadn’t forgotten about it since he witnessed you drunkenly flirting with wooyoung, and now he couldn’t handle getting hard at the thought of it anymore. you had consumed way more alcohol than normal while hongjoong and the rest of the guys were over for game night, which you did quite frequently. your drunk personality was overly flirty on top of being a major brat (so not far from the usual). you and wooyoung had been at each other’s throats that entire night, bickering back and forth about god knows what, until you stole the bottle of soju from him and refused to give it back. 

all hongjoong remembers hearing from the kitchen was wooyoung sternly telling you to give it back and you replying with “make me”. 

you continued to squirm around the couch, moving the bottle out of his reach until he threw himself over you and grabbed it out of your hand. paying no mind to hongjoong standing in the entryway, he watched wooyoung hover over you, bring the bottle to his lips, and take a huge swig of the drink just to get to you. wooyoung cocked his head and retorted, “just in case you forgot, i know a thing or two about being a brat. i could do this all day.” 

...which brings you back to right now. hongjoong had thought of this before, sure, but he’d never mentioned it because he didn’t think you’d agree to it. he was starting to regret asking now, seeing as you were now anxiously sitting on the couch like you were in trouble. you and hongjoong had been dating for long enough that you were both very comfortable with each other in and out of the bedroom. you both had experimented some, but you’d never gone as far as inviting a plus one. let alone another member of hongjoong’s group. you weren’t anxious because of the idea - it was intriguing, you admit - you were anxious because you thought it was a trick question. after all, hongjoong did just say he was okay with you fucking one of his best friends while he watches.

“joong, if this is about me flirting with him, i was drunk, and i’m sorry. you know i would never do anything like that to you, especially with a member of your team.” you stumble upon your words, not knowing how to approach the subject. he sets his eyes on the curtains across the room to avoid looking at you as he hesitantly replies. 

“what if i...wanted you to?” 

that is not the reply you were expecting in the slightest. as you fiddle with your fingers, you look at him and raise your eyebrow, silently asking him to elaborate. he sighs and fluffs his hair with his fingers, a nervous habit he’s always had to try and distract himself. 

“i don’t know, baby.. just seeing you argue with him and then seeing him put you in your place... kind of.. i don’t know. forget i asked.” 

he’s starting to feel a bit guilty that he asked, but he’s hoping you’ll think about it and reconsider. you do just that for the next two days, thinking of the pros and cons of this scenario. hongjoong and wooyoung are like brothers. surely this wouldn’t be awkward later on. or would it? you couldn’t lie that wooyoung was very attractive, your type, and you both had similar personalities. the more you thought about it, you could see why hongjoong was intrigued by the thought of wooyoung taking you; you both are younger than him, you’re both more of the bratty type and love to push your limits, and hongjoong constantly has to discipline both of you. 

you would do anything for hongjoong and this is no exception. especially when it benefits both of you. 

- 

that evening, you and hongjoong were eating dinner almost silently. not necessarily awkward, hongjoong was just unsure of how to talk to you and act like he never mentioned anything. as much as he hated it, he was hoping you both could move on and forget it was ever said. 

you, however, had other plans. 

“joongie?” 

he looks up at you from his plate and smiles. “yeah baby?” 

he looks at you a moment before he starts to feel a little nervous. “is there something wrong?” 

you meet his eyes and shake your head. “no! i just wanted.. to maybe... talk to you about the other night?” 

he slides his plate to the side and crosses his hands on the table. “yeah, i’m sorry i brought that up. i hope you don’t think i’m weird now or something.” 

you get up from your chair and move around the table to place yourself on his lap. he feels a little more at ease now that your hands are around his shoulders and you place a soft kiss on his cheek. 

as you ruffle your fingers through his hair, you reassure him, “i would never think you were weird, joong. the conversation just threw me off a little, that’s all. i’ve been thinking a bit..” 

his eyes widen the slightest bit at those words and he looks up at you smirking. “you’ve been thinking, huh?” 

you roll your eyes and chuckle at him. “yes.. and if you’d like me to be honest, i am.. interested in the idea.” 

he’s shocked to hear the words come out of your mouth, and if he’s honest, he almost gets hard instantly at the fact that this actually might happen. 

“really?” he watches you nod. 

“i thought about it from your point of view, and i can understand how you would find the dynamic between me and wooyoung intriguing. plus, as i’m sure you’re aware, i would do anything for you.” 

he puts a finger up. “you’re not just doing this because it’s me, right? if we would do this, i’d want you to do it because you want to.”

“i want to.” 

- 

the next evening, hongjoong made it a point after practice to invite wooyoung over, mentioning something about helping him with lyrics that he hadn’t finished yet. wooyoung seemed curious as to why he was the only member invited, seeing as they usually do most songwriting as a group, but he agreed. 

“sure, just let me shower at the dorm and get my stuff together and i’ll be there.” 

hongjoong hurried home to you and gave you the heads up that wooyoung would be over soon. you were starting to get a little nervous, but not enough to call this off. you had already taken a shower and dried your hair, and decided to slip on a cute dress that had been hanging in your closet for way too long. 

“you look beautiful, angel. if he weren’t on his way, i’d bend you over and take you right now.” he kisses your neck softly and takes in one last look at your body. 

“you’ll have me all to yourself after. and every night after that, too.” you kiss his lips softly and he smirks in return. 

“that’s my good girl.” 

he goes downstairs to pour himself a drink, something he needs to take the nerves away before he asks his younger bandmate to fuck his girlfriend. 

he downs one glass before watching you descend the stairs and walk yourself into the kitchen. you too, grab a glass and pour yourself a little bit. you down the glass completely as you hear knocking on your front door. hongjoong races a little too eager to answer it, welcoming wooyoung in and offering him a drink. 

wooyoung greets him and follows him into the kitchen, where he takes a not-so-subtle look at your body and meets your eyes with a smile. as he looks at you, he mockingly states, “y/n.. nice to see you, ‘lot less drunk than the last time i saw you. you look beautiful, though.” 

you sarcastically thank him and hand him a drink, which he accepts. you three gather in the living room, drinking and chatting while you sit on hongjoong’s lap in the chair that is placed next to the couch. wooyoung sits with his thick thighs spread on the couch across from you. you can’t help but think about how thick his thigh would feel if you were grinding on it or how his breath would feel on your neck. 

after finishing his drink, wooyoung sits his cup down on the table next to the couch and looks at hongjoong. 

“so, what’s this song about?” 

hongjoong looks up at you, tongue in cheek as he prepares to tell wooyoung the real reason he was invited over in the first place. 

“wooyoung.. i didn’t invite you over here to finish a song.” 

wooyoung furrows his brows and tilts his head. “then why am i here?”

the hand that hongjoong isn’t holding his glass with is resting on your thigh below the hem of your dress, while his thumb and index finger draw shapes on your skin. 

“wooyoung, do you think my girlfriend is attractive?” 

“i- i mean, well-” 

“answer the question, woo. truthfully.” 

his leg is bouncing anxiously against the floor, revealing to both you and hongjoong how nervous he is. 

“i think she’s gorgeous, yes. why?” 

“have you ever thought about.. sleeping with her?”

wooyoung could swear this was a trap. or a wild dream. it felt like it wasn’t real. there is absolutely no way his leader just asked if he’d fantasized about you. wooyoung was young and most of the time very horny, and you were also young and happened to be very beautiful. of course, he had fantasized about you a couple of times. but he thought he would be murdered if he said anything. 

you look at hongjoong, a smirk finding its way onto your face. “i’ll take that silence as a yes?” hongjoong darkly chuckles, agreeing with you. 

you turn hongjoong’s head to face you so you can kiss him full on this time before getting up to join wooyoung on the couch. he looks startled as your hand places itself on his thigh. your other hand reaches up to cradle his chin and he forces himself to look at you. 

“don’t be embarassed, woo. i’ve thought about you too..” 

wooyoung had just become aware that he was half hard in his jeans. if this is a joke, it’s a sick one, but since the chance is here, he does what he knows best. takes it and runs with it. 

he looks over at hongjoong, who is leaned back in the chair with his legs spread, watching both of your movements. 

“why me?” wooyoung asks and while waiting for an answer, puts his rough hand on your thigh. 

hongjoong runs his finger around the rim of his glass and takes a deep breath. 

“you’re a brat like she is. maybe even more. i figured if anyone could give her a run for her money, it’d be you.” 

wooyoung looks at you and cocks his head. “fair enough.” 

“so what do you want me to do?” 

hongjoong looks up at him and you once again, taking in the flush on your cheeks and the excitement in wooyoung’s eyes. “i want you to fuck the brattiness out of her.” 

you scoff. “that is, if you know how to fuck a girl, wooyoung.”

he pushes a strand of hair behind your ear. “oh, baby. i’m gonna make you regret saying that.” 

you test your boundaries by rolling your eyes, and that same second, wooyoung pulls you over his waist, making you straddle him. he puts a hand behind your neck to bring you down to meet his lips. as he harshly kisses you, you feel the outline of his hard dick underneath you and you can’t help but imagine how big it is. you grind down on him while his tongue slips inside your mouth and for once, you taste someone other than hongjoong. it doesn’t feel right, but it feels good. you get a bigger thrill out of it knowing that hongjoong is going to watch this whole thing play out. 

wooyoung’s hands move around you up to your shoulders, where he unties both straps that are holding your dress up. he pushes the top of the dress down to reveal your strapless bra, which he removes without looking. he cockily smirks into the kiss as he tosses it behind you, making it land on hongjoong’s thigh. you’re both moaning into the kiss, as your wet clothed center is grinding against his bulge and his hands are caressing your chest. 

he only breaks the kiss so he can lean down and kiss down your chest, kissing each nipple and sucking on them as you moan above him. as you continue to grind down on him, you feel yourself getting wetter and wetter by the second. his hands are sat on your hips as he brings you to a halt, leading you up off the couch so you can step out of your dress. still seated on the couch, he turns you around so he can get a good look at the lace panties covering your ass. he groans aloud as he runs his finger along the lace trim, pulling it away from your skin momentarily until he lets go, letting it flick against your skin. 

“joong has all this to himself? selfish of him to not share earlier.” 

“it’s not like you could handle it anyway.” you detest.

he gropes you harshly before raising his hand in the air and bringing it back down against your ass, making you yelp and hold on to the arm of the couch. wooyoung unbuttons his black skinny jeans and brings the zipper down while raising his hips to pull his pants and boxers down, throwing them to the side of the couch. 

“get on your knees, darling. i’m gonna put that mouth to good use.” 

you giggle and get on your knees in front of him, looking up at his thick figure that is splayed on the couch. his thighs are tensed and spread apart so you can fit in between them and one of his hands is stroking his fully hard cock right in front of your face. 

“get to work.” 

“why don’t you make me, wooyoung?” you look up at him innocently with that twinkle in your eyes that usually works on hongjoong, but it sets a spark off in wooyoung you’ve never seen before. 

his hand threads through your hair and he practically drags you up to meet his face. as you’re whimpering in his grip, he scoffs at you and tilts his head. 

“listen here, you little shit. you might be able to pull these stunts with hongjoong because he’s a pushover, but i can promise you i can go around and around with you all day. and guess what? you won’t win. now get to it.” 

at the tone of his voice, you could cum immediately, but instead, you hold his cock in your hand and lean over it. you allow a thick string of spit to pass through your lips, letting it land on the tip of his cock. your hand strokes him while you let him steer you with your hair until the head of him is right at your lips. you waste no time in fitting as much as you can of him in your mouth, hearing him suck in a breath above you. as you continue your ministrations, he uses his hands to hold your hair out of your face and to steer you up and down, sometimes so forceful you’d gag around him. 

“doesn’t know how to back talk when she’s got a cock in her mouth, huh?” 

hongjoong finally breaks his silence, still sitting in the chair palming himself over his pants. “always been bad about talking back. maybe you should gag her some more, don’t you think?”

you suck him harder as he keeps his grip on your hair. he keeps your head steady as he starts to thrust his hips off of the couch, making his dick push even further into the back of your throat. you’re gagging and moaning with every thrust, so much so that your eyes are watering and spit is running down your chin. 

“good girl- you like it when i gag you like that?” 

you moan around him as an answer and after a few more gags, he pulls you off of him, a long string of spit leaving you connected to his cock. he pulls you up by your forearms and sits you down next to him, leaning you back against the pillows and pulling your soaked panties down your legs, bringing them up to his face to overload himself with your scent. he groans and tosses them over to hongjoong, who catches them and does the same thing. 

hongjoong is achingly hard at this point but refuses to give in to his desires, as tonight is about you. as he watches wooyoung lick up the expanse of your center, he decides he can get off later. you’re squirming beneath wooyoung as his tongue works your clit in all different directions until he sucks it into his mouth completely. your back arches as he moans against you, vibrations moving across your entire body. he continues to eat you out until your moans get louder, and then he stops and pulls away completely. you frown as he moves away from you, and as he stands up, he pulls you to the edge of the couch and pushes your legs up and apart to the point they’re almost against your chest. 

as he prepares his cock in his hand, he looks down at you. “are you ready for me to stretch out that little pussy?” 

hongjoong interjects after chugging the last of his drink. “give it to her rough, just the way she likes it.” 

“don’t have to tell me twice.” 

wooyoung bends down and positions himself on top of you, placing the tip of his cock right at your entrance. he pushes himself a little over halfway in, making you gasp. his cock is a little bigger than hongjoong’s and much thicker. you feel like you’re being ripped apart in the best way possible and you let out an almost pornographic moan as he pushes the rest of the way into you. he raises up once he’s all the way in, allowing your legs to come sit around his waist. once he starts thrusting, your plan to be stubborn and hold in your moans was pushed to the wayside. it felt like he was in your lower abdomen and the stretch was so good, you couldn’t hold back screaming for him. he speeds up after hearing how loud you are for him (that’s a kink for him, and quite frankly satisfies his ego). 

“you like that baby? can you feel every inch of my cock in your tight little pussy?” 

your eyes are rolling back into your head at this point. you’re usually above begging but you want to cum so bad it hurts. “y-yes, wooyoung! please fuck me harder! make me cum, please!” 

“harder? you want to cum all over me, babygirl?” 

he reaches a hand down between where your bodies meet to rub your clit quickly, making you open your mouth wide, although no sound can come out. you feel as if someone has just poured hot lava down your throat. when sound finally escapes, it is a scream loud enough to wake everybody that lives down your street. as wooyoung continues to fuck you through your orgasm, you faintly hear him mention to hongjoong about how pretty you look when you cum. 

when your breaths finally slow down enough, wooyoung pulls out of you and flips you over, telling you to get on all fours. you do the best you can on shaky limbs, and when he pushes into you again, you collapse on to your forearms and moan into your elbow. wooyoung doesn’t enjoy your sounds being muffled, so he reaches down and pulls your hair, forcing you up and onto your hands again. you hadn’t noticed it until now, but you’re crying at how good he feels inside of you. sure, you have mindblowing sex with hongjoong, but this... this is a different feeling. he speeds up again, and your sensitive center clenches around him, making him grunt with each thrust. you revert your eyes to your boyfriend, who hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since this started.

“p-please hongjoong.. i want to cum so bad!” 

wooyoung spanks you harder than earlier, making you scream again as he speaks to you through gritted teeth. “hongjoong isn’t the one fucking you senseless right now, is he? if you want to cum, beg me for it.”

hongjoong loves the way you’re looking at him, eyes glazed over and occasionally rolling back into your head, cheeks flushed, and tears rolling down your face. he gets up from the chair, comes and kneels in front of you, and pushes a hair away from your cheek. the way he’s looking at you makes it seem like he empathizes with you, but you know he’s enjoying this as much as you are. 

“you heard him, angel. if you want to cum, ask him nicely.” 

as you open your mouth to form a question, hongjoong takes it upon himself to speed up the arrival of your orgasm. he reaches both of his hands to fit around your neck and tightens both of them until you���re choking and gasping at the same time, the only words leaving your mouth being wooyoung’s name and ‘please’. as you get closer and closer, your arms and legs are both shaking and threaten to give out at any moment. wooyoung smirks while still holding onto you and looks down at hongjoong. 

“ready for the money shot?” 

hongjoong cockily nods and wooyoung reaches a hand down to once more rub you where you’re most sensitive, and it's game over. you cum around him for the second time, losing control of the choked sounds that are leaving your mouth. hongjoong is in one ear talking you through your mindbending orgasm, calling you a good girl and stroking your hair while the other ear takes in the sounds of wooyoung panting, moaning, and grunting behind you as he pulls out and shoots his load on to your ass and lower back. 

as you collapse on the couch, you make no effort to complain as hongjoong goes to fetch something to clean you off with. wooyoung’s breathing is loud beside you and he reaches over to the side table to pour himself another drink. 

when hongjoong is done cleaning you off, you continue to lay there, helplessly. you won’t be moving anytime soon. as you start to drift off to sleep, you hear hongjoong speak up to wooyoung. 

“come to think of it, i do have an idea for a song now...”

------END------