#but percy mains are a different breed i swear

[terraf1rma]

RATING PEOPLE'S IDV MAINS: BY A THREE WEEK OLD PLAYER WHO GETS TERRORSHOCKED TO KINGDOM COME EVERY TIME I PLAY AGAINST SCULPTOR (HUNTER VERSION)

Galatea (sculptor): y'all terrify me. Like I could be breaking apart a chair and pop! There's a wild statue around me and banging me to death! And bam! A girl with dwarfism (according to the idv community??) in a wheelchair appears and makes you feel guilty about yoinking a pallet on her! Like man do you know how awkward I get when I see a kid in a wheelchair get hit by a pallet i threw down? Man. It's awkward, that's for sure. How do you guys even get through windows?

Jack (the ripper): now, I would get scared of you if it wasn't for the fact that your whole invisibility shazam got ruined by that weird red light thingy. Not sure what it's called but eh. Like you could've terrorshocked me while I was decoding but nope. Red light! Gotta go fast! Suddenly I am sonic and dying in a minute!!

Luchino (evil lizard man): ...I've only ever seen one Luchino and I felt so bad for the guy that I purposefully stayed behind and let him terrorshock™ me like the man couldn't get the jump on any of my teammates I wanna make a pun but idk how to fit it in help-

Mary (bloody queen): I'm stuck between running away screaming and respectfully asking you to marry and terrorshock me. Like that special carry where it looks like Mary is ballroom dancing with the survivors as she carries them to their doom? Exquisite I almost want to get myself killed just to do that it's simp culture shush

Joseph (photographer): the amount of costumes the Josephs have are...intimidating to say the least. I mean I'm saving up for this man myself because rn he's the only hunter I can figure out how to play. Many tasty terrorshocks await me me thinks. He's also very handsome 10/10 would let him terrorshock me. Oh, and midnight gentleman? That's straight up cat culture not wolf you furry-

Leo (hell ember): people say you guys take pity on Emma mains but I've yet to see one that didn't straight up go after me and me only for a whole march like sir please this is your daughter I'm playing as have pity when you see her riding a carousel at like half health let her enjoy this ride DO NOT TERRORSHOC- your skills are very cool tho and I respect you people a bunch

Ann (the herald/nun/apostle/something religious/idk man netease makes me confused): idk how people remember you for your cat when her neck exists- I mean your cat is pretty...lanky and evil as most cats are but like sir stop chewing on my ankles thank you very much. I have no idea how to kite Ann so uh 8/10 also is it Ann or Anne cause like ....?????????

Michiko (geisha): I respect you so much like sir/ma'am/they you have peak friendly hunter energy even when you're trying to cut me down and chair me but please calm down with your butterflies if you don't come around to using them also your so pretty help oh gosh I am ✨simping✨

Smiley face: I forgot his first name @_@. Uh y'all are cool I met one friendly joker main who watched the sea with me and a geisha in lakeside and it was peak bonding moment tbh if you look past the fact that I was bleeding to my death. I'm not even giving any opinions at this point I'm just sharing my experiences huh-

Grace (naiad): guys. Stop drowning people. Notice that there's an r in the word drowning. I'm fine with you downing me but my god STOP MAKING MINITURE LAKES AROUND CHAIRS PLeaSe if I don't die from the chair I'm going to die from the bathwater you're using to create mini lake naiad or not. Anyways I think I know how to kite you??? I'm getting close to figuring it out. I just gotta loop around stuff right? Fun. Until I die.

Violetta (soul weaver): I admire Violetta mains because I tried her out once and I swear she took up half of my tiny little mobile screen and I had no idea where I was going. The fact that you guys can cacoon (I can't spell help-) people to death is really cool too. You guys are probably ento fans too- maybe I think idk how I linked entomologist with soul weaver. Maybe it's the fact that they both like insects? Also does Violetta even have a face because I swear when I saw her for the first time I was crying my ass off because holy shit that's horror movie material right there sir

Yidhra (dream witch): you're clearly the thing jack the ripper mains aspire to be. Invisible- I have no idea how you guys work except for the fact that I should really find out if a character has a bowing emote because damn. At this point I might as well just join dream witch if I want to live through a match with her in it

Hastur (the feaster): when I heard the feaster part, I thought of some guy who really liked eating. Turns out it was just this tentacle abyss guy- I mean you guys are great when I'm not distracted by the thought of food- anyways slap me bitch I have my protection shield thing on that I got from hell ember hah

Gamekeeper: yet another character who's name I forgot. Probably some kind of canadian-american name tho like uh Alfred or um Sam. Abraham?? Washington???? Idk what classifies as an American/Canadian name bro all I know is this guy somehow got the head of the moose shoved into him and became a guy with a deer head. Wack. Your ability to yoink me back with that trap is really cool tho so props to you guys for that

Wu Chang (white/black guards): your hotbox is legendary. I was across the map once and a Wu Chang was on the other side and I suddenly got terrorshocked out of nowhere??? Like sir?? I wasn't even close to you and you still slapped the heck outta me? YOU HAVE AN UMBRELLA HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE- I- in conclusion? Wu Chang mains are hot as fuck but goddamn someone control that legendary hotbox or I'll hit them with the gardener's tool box INSTEAD-

Burke (mad eyes): I saw a decoder once and didn't know what it was so I tried it out. Didn't know it belonged to mad eyes. I was in a duo hunters map and I was having the time of my life watching everyone run before noticing that there the hunters (Burke and Mary) were together near a decoder and a survivor just casually watching them. So I looked around them and saw one person and I just thought to myself "wow, who's the oblivious dumbass who's next to them?"

And then I went out of it, looked around for a chair to dismantle and lo and behold.

I was the oblivious fuck next to them.

I got sent to jail via Burke's ability.

Robbie (axe boy): I feel so guilty about hitting Robbie mains with pallets so instead I just vault through as many windows as I can and pray for the best-

Bonbon (guard 26): fuck you and your bombs. I mean you're cute and all but goddamn that dance emote of yours-

Antonio (the violinist): this man could step on me and I would thank him. I radiate peak simp vibes around Antonio mains and I don't regret it. Y'all are so cool?? Like sir youre slapping people with music notes and they sound nice??? Like oh hey I'm at half health but at least I get to listen to nice music while running away from death-

In conclusion? Antonio mains are great I love them

Percy (the undead): fuck you I would rather be chaired than dying pathetically near one. At least let me have my dignity won't you? I mean you guys are cool but no💖

The Will brothers (the breaking wheel): what- what even are breaking wheel mains? Immortal? Inevitable ? I've only ever managed to outrun on and that was because I was near the church pews in the red church. You guys genuinely scare me and when I'm in a match with breaking wheel mains I just run upstairs and cry (in-game not in actual life though I have considered it once or twice-) I'm relieved by the fact that your faces are just masks tho. Y'all are dicks too✨💖

Phillipe (the wax artist): the amount of inappropriate jokes surrounding you guys- I swear no wonder y'all are so eager to chair people-

[hp-generation-now-unhappy-boutit]

Harry Potter FRED AU (It could not be named anyhow else and you’ll soon know why)

Please bear with me I swear I’ll make the lenght worth it

I also promise this one AIN’T SAD

Few days ago I was taking a nap and when I woke up my half-conscious brain thought about the name Albus Severus again because it’s a terrible name whether he is named after anyone or not. And I thought ‘did Ginny even get any say in it or what the hell’.

I really think that Harry should name their first child (he did) James Sirius, which is fine, Ginny would name their second son and together they would name their little girl (which I think they did).

But then I thought ‘what would she name him?’ Obviously my first thought was Fred, but I was like ‘nah, that one is for George’s kid... unless���

Here comes my AU, imagine it with me:

It is the first 1st of April after the battle, it isn’t very happy for someone’s birthday, then Percy gets an idea. He cannot forget how the last thing he said to Fred made him smile and he refuses to do anything on his birthday that would not achieve the same goal. So he looks at George and proposes this... what if every one of the siblings named at least one of their child Fred or any equivalent of that, if for nothing else than at least for the chaos it will create at Hogwarts. Everyone is silent for so long Percy just wants to take it back and obliviate everyone, but then Fleur stands up to it and gets really passionate about it and then it slowly dawns on everyone and they love it. It is the first time in all those months that George gives them a non-forced smile. Everyone is super into it. Mrs. Weasley is crying because a) she is happy because her boy is smiling again b) she knows she will be super embarrassed if she ever has to talk to McGonagall after she finds out about this and c) she thought Percy was better than this. Nevertheless if it makes George smile again, she won’t be too harsh about it.

It goes something like this (I’m kind of ignoring the cannon children, but whatever):

- Bill and Fleur name their firstborn daughter Frédérique. She had some mean kids try to laugh at her for it because they thought it’s stupid. She shut their mouths pretty quickly.

- Charlie doesn’t have kids. But he did discover a new breed of dragon, which main trait is that it isn’t violent at all, it’s just really mischievious and will mess up with everyone and everything. Charlie names the breed Island Trickster, for both the experts and amateurs the nickname Fred catches on pretty quickly even though majority of people doesn’t know why.

- Percy’s first child is also a girl but he refuses to let anything stop him from naming his child Fred, because a) it was his idea and b) he’ll be damned if anything keeps him from making this prank, that he created in honour of his brother, work. She gets the name Frederica. She hates it and demands her family calling her by her second name. They do and none of them mind, but before she departs for Hogwarts her parents take her aside and explain why they named her this way. Her prankster blood kicks in and from the moment she steps on the train she introduces herself as Frederica, Fred for short.

- George’s first kids are twins, boy and girl. There is no hesitation - their names are immediately Fred and Freda. When they have the second child, there is a mild discussion, but eventually his name is Fredrick. Proud of their legacy, at school neither will respond to anything but Fred. They become Fred & Fred and Fred.

- Ron, who through Hermione discovered Queen, decides to name their son Freddie. Hermione doesn’t see a reason to protest, she loves it.

- Ginny lets Harry name their first son. First, she likes the name James Sirius. Second, whatever happens that child will have prank as their blood type, so there is really no need to add onto that. Third, she is naming their second child and it will be a version of Fred. Harry does not protest at all, because a) he already has his son named after his father and godfather and b) he refuses to stand in the way of this prank. Also Ginny, being the undercover little shit she is, names their son Fred George... everyone keeps calling him Fred and George. They both also talk about naming their daughter Lily Luna Freda or something and they do, it’s just not that public so she can do with that potential whatever she wants.

It also happens that the whole former gryffindor quidditch team joins in on this (including Lee Jordan, who is considered part of the team) as well as bunch of other friends.

Mrs. Weasley is still a little sceptical but she can’t deny that her boy would be proud. Her job also gets a little easier, because now she just automatically makes her grandchildren sweaters with F. Sometimes she makes more of those that she should but the kids love it (cue later).

Meanwhile in heaven James, Sirius and Remus are both really excited and really jealous. Fred is waiting for the chaos to take reign.

As for Hogwarts, most of the professors are losing it sometimes with entertainment (they mostly enjoy it when someone else is in pain because of this and they love to watch it), sometimes with annoyance, sometimes with both and sometimes actually losing it about to break down and cry (especially when some of their colleagues would just watch and smile). Alltogether in all the houses there is about twenty Fred Weasleys (boys, girls, first names, second names) and the Potters (James Sirius, Fred George and Lily Luna) plus the other Freds - all of them there for two or three years, which basically translates into destruction of the highest level.

There are family gatherings frequently at the Burrow, where they all just sit around the table writing letters to their kids and all of them writing one howler.

The howler arrives to a random person, usually a friend of one of the Weasley/Potter kids and the whole Great hall hears, “FRED! WHAT DID YOU DO THIS TIME?!”

All the Fred’s look at each other, because they all did something they shouldn’t (which their parents don’t know, but the kids don’t know they don’t know). No one also knows which Fred it is meant for. No one knows if they are being scolded or messed with.

Very rarely the howler would yell, “FRED WEASLEY”, and in the fat pause after that, every single person in the room can hear, Fred George Potter say “oh, thank Merlin’s nightgown.”

Sometimes the howler would shout, “FRED. I AM SO DISSAPPOINTED IN YOU. YOU WERE NOT GIVEN THIS NAME TO KEEP PEACE AND TRANQUILITY AT THE SCHOOL!” Molly Weasley may or may not scold her children and children-in-law for this one. (Obviously if the kids weren’t into pranking their parents would never force them or out them like this, but since they are all openly on board this happens way too often for the professors’ liking.

Then there is christmas time. Most of the kids leave for home... most of them except for the Weasley/Potters and some of the other Freds, whose parents are friends with the Weasleys. The sweaters come and... every signle one has a F on it. None of the kids protest. They wear it proudly. There are attempts at making fun of them. It doesn’t work.

James walks around announcing to everyone repeatedly and very loudly that his name is Fames Firius Fotter. In the meantime, as long as Lily is wearing her sweater, she refuses to react to anything but Fily or Funa and that includes the teachers.

Everyone tries to resist, everyone breaks down eventually.

McGonagall wants to look stern, but she is loving it.

There is a relatively new professor trying to complain to the colleague sitting next to him. Neville Longbottom, who names his children Frank Fred, Alice Fredricka and Augusta Freda, nods sympathetically while sipping his tea. “I know,” he says. “Imagine if one of them named their kid something like Prank. We would call them a normal name now.”

That is the moment Minerva McGonagall loses it and actually chuckles. Every single one of the kids writes a letter to their parents about that one.

All hell loses all the breaks on April Fools. McGonagall wanted to go easy on punishing the pranks for several reasons and one of them is that it is the twins birthday. It takes one April Fools when the kids take it relatively easy for them to figure out the punichments are quite mild. The next year they go Wild and  McGonagall understands that her nostalgia is a dangerous thing. She stops it then and there, because she knows it won’t stop them, it might just stop some people from getting hurt.

Sometimes Peeves won’t have the mood to come up with something himself so he just goes with calling everyone Fred. Some teachers take from it, figuring that if they don’t remember someone’s name it must be because they decided they will deduce it later, which translates to “the name is Fred”.

Years later when the children leave Hogwarts there is formed a new quidditch team. The name is “Flying Freds”. They are all married and stuff, so their last names are all different, but all of them share the name Fred, which only increases the children named Fred, because who wouldn’t name their child after their favourite quidditch team, amiright?

People in both the wizarding and muggle world are astonished as to Why is there suddenly such a popularity to the name, while in the afterlife Fred won’t stop saying shit like “The students have surpassed the teachers.” and the Marauders are both upset they didn’t manage something like that, but also impressed and really loving it.

McGonagall once talks about it with George and he says it was Percy’s idea. Percy, always perfect prefect Percy, blushes as McGonagall looks at him and says: “All those years I was worried you aren’t an actually Weasley and you’ve just been hiding all that potential, hm.”

It is that moment they understand she might have always been strict, but she loved those little and big pranks simply because they were creative and smart and she was always so proud of the Marauders and the twins for it.