#but just because a book is old or difficult to read or requires more than surface level critical thought to understand

[queenerdloser]

im literally begging every teen who complains about classical lit they were taught in high school to like wait a few years and go back and re-read that shit when you’re in your 20s and 30s. like. i absolutely think you can get and love the classics as a teen, but i do feel like there are so many books that just hit different as an adult. your worldview is so different, your connection to real life is more vivid, and the stuff that maybe flew over your head or seemed boring or unimportant in books actually hit. i also just think it’s really important to read classics outside of the classroom setting in general like - yeah, read it for fun! i don’t care if it takes three years to finish or if you only listen to the audiobook or you just end up not finishing it, but i feel like part of what helps make a connection to these books is discovering it yourself, with nobody holding your hand or pushing you along. (this is not anti-english class!!! english class is SO necessary and wonderful and teaches you so many good essential skills.) 

idk like the anti-intellectualism surrounding reading cults (here’s to looking at you booktok) is honestly mind-numbingly frustrating and the refusal to see any inherent worth in the classics because the last time you read them was when you were bored and frustrated in your 10th grade english class is..... stupid. read them again as an adult! read them again for fun! there’s so much shit i hated as a teen i love now and yes that also applies to books by stuffy white men! 

[ariaste]

YIELD UNDER GREAT PERSUASION comes out on September 17th! (Edit: It's out now!!!!) It's a cozy M/M romantasy about second chances, the difficult journey to self-forgiveness, and a one-sided enemies-to-lovers situationship 👀 It's available from most book retailers in hardback, paperback, and ebook (with more retailers coming soon) -- links to most of the common ones right here. The cover art is by the amazing @holographings, check out more of his work!

SUMMARY: Tam Becket has hated Lord Lyford since they were boys. The fact that he’s also been sleeping with the man for the last ten years is irrelevant. When they were both nine years old, Lyford smashed Tam’s entry into the village’s vegetable competition. Nearly twenty years later, Tam hasn’t forgiven him. No one understands how deeply he was hurt that day, how it set a pattern of disappointments and small misfortunes that would run through the rest of his life. Now Tam has reconciled himself to the fact that love and affection are for other people, that the gods don’t care and won’t answer any of his prayers (not even the one about afflicting Lyford with a case of flesh-eating spiders to chew off his privates), and that life is inherently mundane, joyless, and drab. And then, the very last straw: Tam discovers that Lyford (of all people!) bears the divine favor of Angarat, the goddess Tam feels most betrayed and abandoned by. In his hurt and anger, Tam packs up and prepares to leave the village for good. But the journey doesn’t take him far, and Tam soon finds himself set on a quest for the most difficult of all possible prizes: Self care, forgiveness, a second chance... and somehow the unbelievably precious knowledge that there is at least one person who loves Tam for exactly who he is—and always has.

This book might be for you if:

You like enemies-to-lovers but you think it would be improved by being one-sided and meanwhile the other person is living through a “hopelessly yearning for childhood crush” trope

you like it when two people are so, so, so stupid that they’ve been fucking for 10 years and Person A hasn’t figured out that Person B is in love with him, and Person B hasn’t realized that Person A doesn’t even know about his feelings

You know how fucking hard it is to Do The Work In Therapy and you want some catharsis about it

you want to read about an imperfect, truly difficult person who still gets loved, because being perfect is not a requirement to deserve affection and care

you know that apologizing for wronging someone doesn’t just magically take away the bad feelings and automatically repair the relationship, and you want to read about someone having to do the extra steps that come after the apology

this one’s for the wlw: fat harvest goddess milf. my gift to u

you like gods who don’t have anything better to do than stick their noses into human business

when you see a gorgeous man holding an infant, it takes you out at the knees

you like queernorm fantasy AND small-town gossip, and you find the intersection of the two delicious and intriguing

a religion based on pre-Christian Brythonic England. That is, they’ve got henges and standing stones instead of churches and altars. it’s cool

plant magic!!!!!

“god of temptation and evil” actually “god of self-care and personal boundaries and taking responsibility for the consequences you consented to”.

"Alongside the sexiness and absurdity (and the sexy absurdity) in Yield Under Great Persuasion is a tender, resonant story of second and third chances and being loved when we need it most and feel we deserve it least. Evocative, emotional, and endlessly entertaining." —Jules Arbeaux, author of Lord of the Empty Isles Preorder links for most retailers are here! If you live in the US and you'd like to order a paper copy from the retailer that benefits me most (thank you!), that retailer is Allstora.

(Signal boosts are always greatly appreciated, thank you in advance!)

[hazbin-writings-and-musings]

Lucifer Morningstar x Pregnant!Reader Headcanons Part 3

Keeping the ball rolling after part two, here's Lucifer and reader headcanons as baby gets ever closer to arrival. I think I'll do two more, with the last one detailing the actual birth and dear Lucy welcoming his second child. Thank you for reading and please enjoy!

Warnings: Pregnancy Mention, Smut

- His dedication to soothing your aches and pains grows even faster than they do as you get further along. The wealth of information now available about pregnancy (albeit not of the supernatural variety) initially overwhelms him, but he manages to find what he needs in books about prenatal massage. It doesn't matter where or when pain strikes, he'll be there to roll up his sleeves and work as long as he needs to make sure you're better. He's happy to have a professional masseuse join the palace staff to provide the help you need, but he also just enjoys doing it himself. There's a kind of intimacy he can't explain when it comes to tending his beloved and the body you're growing his child with. It doesn't hurt that his fingers are literally magical.

- He wants the FULL stereotypical expecting-a-baby experience, so yes, he'd love to do some breathing classes with you! The King of Hell might struggle to do anything in public without attracting attention, but he manages to locate a relaxed enough class that the two of you can attend without fear of paparazzi, and he is beyond thrilled from the very first session. There's not much he can offer now and through delivery beyond support, but he intends to give 110%. Pregnant yoga is also not off the table, nor is any activity that lets the two of you bond and enjoy the experience. To a very small extent, he enjoys these sessions because he gets to be seen with you. The Sinners and Hellborn just can't help sneaking an extra look at the King and his expecting lover. He doesn't need to say a word whenever he meets the gaze of someone looking the two of you over, the proud puff of his chest says it all as he lovingly splays a hand on your belly; that's right, I pulled this.

- He wants to brainstorm names right away, and because the two of you elect to be surprised by the birth sex, a very long list of potential selections is drafted for any outcome. His tastes tend to be a bit more old fashioned, but he has a knack for choosing those whose beauty has passed the test of time. His selections are also based on humans that have caught his attention through the ages, for good and bad reasons. Charlie was named after an ancient king, for example, who stood out most to Lucifer because he managed change on a scale few can ever hope to achieve, and change was what he desired for his child above all else. As he follows the naming rule of "two yesses, one no" he listens to all of your suggestions just as eagerly, which over the months results in an increasing long piece of parchment covered in names and notes. Vetoed suggestions are crossed out and he makes a point to note any potential issues with a name in great detail, and while the process is far from streamlined, the two of you have a great deal of fun selecting a final list of favorites.

- Out of everything required to prepare the nursery, selecting baby clothes tends to get him crying from the cuteness most often. He'll hold up potential outfits and try to imagine the baby in them, and while he's got a fantastic sense of fashion, the fabulousity doesn't detract from the adorableness before him. The itty bitty booties, the tiny socks, the cute little onesies... Stars, he's going to have another perfect baby, and since they'll no doubt be as precious as Charlie was... You'll often find him tearing up but beaming in silent thought as he looks over your future child's wardrobe, and he'll always explain himself honestly; he just can't wait to enjoy another round of baby days. If only they didn't go by so quickly...

- Lots of things grow increasingly difficult as you get further along, but he's always up for the challenge of making life easier for you, especially in regards to the bedroom. A baby bump will make certain positions impossible, but that's of little consequence for a man that can bend reality and his own physical form with ease. His capacity for effortless flight makes gravity a non-issue, and where his magic hits its limit, his creativity takes over. Whatever position results in comfort and satisfaction for you will be achieved, and he thinks of plenty to be offered. With his long, forked tongue added to the mix, you need not worry about missing out, no matter how much your middle swells. If anything, he rather enjoys being on the bottom...

[iskratempestmadness]

The characters of "Baki the grappler" and the language of love

Baki:

Touching

Baki is one of the most tactile characters. And it is also important for him that you also express your love physically. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, even just a pat on the shoulder will do for him. It's just that it's important for him to feel that you're with him and you're safe.

Hanayama:

Gifts

He is not mercantile. He is not a materialist. Oh no. It's just that, as I've told you before, it's difficult for him to express his feelings in words. He is also limited in his actions. And he can't spend the desired amount of time with you. But despite this, he really likes to put on your smile when he gives you another gift.

Katsumi:

Time or quality forwarding time

Oooh, it's hard to define his love language, but still he tends to do just that. And he appreciates it. From simple silence in each other's campaign to experiments and joint hobbies. Why this particular view? He likes the idea of your memories together. Definitely in old age, the phrase " Do you remember how we learned to surf together? Yes, you often fell off the board. Hehe, it was a funny sight... Maybe we should go to the sea again, don't you think? "

Jack:

Words

It's difficult for him. He would prefer to show his feelings by actions. But he understands perfectly well how important words are. For him and for you. Jack tries to compliment you, thank you for even the smallest things, say "I love you" before going to bed, and a lot of similar things. It really means to him that you know that he loves you. And don't forget to return the favor. This boy needs to be praised as often as possible, he deserves it.

Retsu:

Help

Retsu is a conscious person and he prefers to show his love not by word, but by deed. It's just more practical. And it's also a way to make sure that everything will be 100% fine with you and you won't have to strain yourself over trifles. Like you came home tired from work and didn't have time to clean the house? It's not a problem, because he's already done it, there's no point in straining. It is important for Retsu that you are happy and comfortable, so he will do everything to make your life easier.

Shibukawa:

Time

For him, time is a resource. You know, when people get older, they start to appreciate time more. So he shares with you what is valuable to him. And he likes it. Perhaps before you entered into a relationship, he directed this resource only to himself, and he could not think that sharing it could be so pleasant. He shares it with you... Almost all the time. From reading a book together to training.

Yujiro:

Words

Yes, you can't tell from him, but this. However, this love language is different from Jack's love language. No cute phrases, no compliments. For him, it's trivial. He starts giving you advice, voicing his thoughts about certain situations. Do you think that this is not enough? Look who it is. This is Yujiro Hanma. He was always on his own mind. And it is difficult for him to open up to another person, there is a feeling of insecurity. So this is for him a manifestation of love in the highest degree.

Doppo:

Touching

Yes, he has lived enough, but touching is still important to him. It's just that they make it easier to express emotions and feelings. Like, he starts to feel worried about you when something doesn't work out, so he'll hug you, pat you on the back and say a few encouraging words. And reciprocity is also important for him, because there is nothing better than to return from training and receive affection from his beloved.

Olive:

Gifts

Well, what else? He likes to give gifts. And not just gifts, but the BEST gifts. Look, he has enough money to do this. So everything is most dear to you. And he loves your smile when you get them. She will always remain in his heart. And Oliva does not require gifts in return, your sincere reaction is really enough for him. However, he wouldn't mind accepting something made by your hands.

Shiba:

Touching

This guy just loves you so much that he can't keep his hands to himself. You are always happy with him, and his hands are always on you. In private, he won't let you out of his arms, in public, his hand is chained to your waist. And despite the appearance, Shiba is gentle, he is certainly ready to give you his love, but he also wants to receive something in return. Even a crumb will be enough for him. Just straighten his clothes or give him tired shoulders and it will make him shine.

[ascendanttarot]

PAC: Messages From Your Spirit Guides

Hi everyone! This PAC will cover whether your spirit guides have any messages or guidance for you. This is a little shorter than the last PAC but only a little bit, promise! I'll list a few signs for every pile before your reading to ensure you have picked the right pile for yourself. If you resonate with one or more signs, that is meant to be your reading. And! You’ll get a channelled song! :)

Please remember your fate is not set in stone so your answers may change depending on the actions you take and will take if you please. Tarot is not a substitute for professional advice. The images I’ve used are not mine.

From left to right: Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3

Pile 1

Signs:

You play guitar or favour the sound of acoustic guitar in your songs

You listen to the following bands/artists: Hozier, Florence + the Machine, Mitski, and other similar artists

This is a weird one, but when cleaning you like buying the sprays/wipes/detergent with a fruitier smell?

You like going on nature walks

You read poetry

Your cards: The Tower, Queen of Cups rx, (clarified by the Six of Swords rx) Page of Wands

Your message: Something unfolded in ways you could have never imagined. It’s like all your backup plans fell apart too, and your optimism has been taken away from you. I just heard ‘victim of circumstance’. This is a difficult message to give, but your guides are saying whatever happened, happened beyond anyone’s control. You tried to shield yourself from these difficult emotions by hardening your heart, creating distance between you and your feelings... but you’re spirit guides are asking you, “Is this really worth it all?”. It won’t be an easy feat to move on from this situation, and your guides understand that. However, they’re saying that when the time comes and the right opportunity is in front of you to take that first step of healing, please take it. The best part of your life requires a childlike sense of wonder. It’s going to require a lot more determination and ambition than what you’re feeling now. Your guides are saying to take your time to feel messy, and when it’s time to heal, don’t rush yourself to do that too. They’re here for you if you ask them. They believe in you even if you don’t believe in yourself, but they are waiting patiently and happily for a time when you’ll start standing by your back too.

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 1!

Song: In Your Own Sweet Time by Zaska, Karen Cowley and Hozier

Pile 2

Signs:

You have an alternative sense of style

You love 80s music. I just heard Wham and The Cure to name a few of the bands that popped up in my intuition

Odd sign to give, but you may have had a vaporwave phase? If you know, you know

You like Fantasy and Sci-Fi books and shows

Another odd message to give here—you may be sensitive to touch, but it goes both ways? Like you can only wear certain fabrics, or you like soft things, but also people may say you give good hugs

Your Cards: 8 of Swords rx, 6 of Cups, The World

Your Message: I just saw the image of your spirit guides popping open a bottle of champagne with a knife before chucking (yes, that violently) streamers and confetti! You know why? Because. You. Did. That. You’ve just come out of a period in your life when you had to do some intense shadow work. You’ve worked on your biases, and have started to fix your flawed systems on your environment and yourself; your spirit guides could not be more proud of you. They’re celebrating 24 hours a day 7 days a week because that chapter of your life is over! This new phase of your life will be given gently to you with the love and compassion you deserve. I think this may be an opportunity to let yourself be seen by others again. At the very least you’ll be hanging out with old friends and making new ones, but at the most, I’m seeing possibly an opportunity for a project to start online. Either way, your spirit guides will have your back for that in the future. For now, though, they’re asking you to put your feet up and high-five yourself for how far you’ve come!

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 2!

Your Song: Blame It on the Boogie by The Jacksons (I’m serious, they’re having a party right now haha!)

Pile 3

Signs:

You prefer the dusk over the dawn

You like RnB, so artists like Victoria Monét and Ashanti might be familiar artists to have in your playlists. I also heard Destiny’s Child and Ms. Lauryn Hill

I feel like you might like, collect, or work with crystals and metals. I just saw some people here may wear protective jewellery

You like sports, or were heavily involved in sports when you were younger, but you aren’t anymore

I just heard ‘helping hand’, so you may just be a really helpful and generous person. You’d be the friend people go to if they need advice on something

Your Cards: 2 of Wands, 2 of Swords, King of Cups

Your Message: Okay this feels pretty straightforward. Your spirit guides want you to know that you’re coming into a divine partnership (not necessarily romantic if that’s not you’re thing or if you’re aromantic, so this could be a friendship or a business partner even) very soon. With the emphasis on the number two in this reading, this may correlate with timings in your life. You may meet this person in 2 weeks, 2 months, or even within the span of 2 years, but there’s a strong message of divine timing working in your favour. I feel you may have issues trusting the people around you to have good intentions because of negative experiences in the past. This person won’t break that mental belief for you, you’ll do that yourself, but they will certainly be the catalyst for it. Maybe the reason why you’re so jaded is because you’ve hoped for this so long the hope soured to cynicism, but this is not the natural state of your soul. This person will offer you the emotionally mature partnership you’ve dreamed of, with a sensitivity for you and your feelings you aren’t used to. Your spirit guides can’t wait for you to meet them because I’m hearing this relationship will be healing for all the parties involved. They’re with you on this every step of the way.

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 3!

Your Song: Love Is on My Side by Brandy

[budo-bujo]

Intro to Literary Studies

This is my intro post for cyberstudious's masterpost jam challenge! I wanted to participate because 1) there doesn't seem to be a lot of representation for humanities in studyblr spaces and 2) there are a lot of misconceptions about literary studies as a field (what do you mean it's not just reading books all day?)(Well, it kind of is but not like you think!)

Disclaimer: I study contemporary "American"* literature and while I have very close contact with people in other fields in my program, I will inevitably be biased.

What is literary studies?

Literary studies is a general term that describes the study of literature very broadly. In the US, this is mostly housed in English departments**, but there are a lot of overlaps with fields like comparative literature, film studies, visual studies, etc.

Generally, I think people's views of what literary studies is is incredibly skewed by high school English classes or maybe some general education courses in college, but those classes do not paint an accurate picture of the field at an advanced level. Literary scholars are performing intensive research, not just teaching or reading books all day! I will say that I didn't even completely understand what an "English major" does academically until graduate school because the work is just on a completely different level.

What are notable career paths/organizations?

Most people who do literary studies are interested in traditional academic careers as professors. However, with the state of higher education in the US, those jobs are insanely competitive and very rare. Other "alt-ac" careers include publishing, academic administration, or other public humanities work. Many people also get concurrent or extra degrees in library and information science, book arts, digital humanities, education, or other fields which can additionally open up your career options.

From an academic standpoint, it's difficult to list specific journals/organizations since the field is so broad. One kind of universal organization in the United States is the Modern Language Association (MLA) (yes that MLA) which has several regional and one large conference every year along with a journal that is pretty much the pinnacle of the field. However, there are countless smaller journals, conferences, and organizations for every specialization that are way more accessible.

What are different fields/specializations?

There are generally two ways to describe what you study: Time period and special area. People often dabble in other things, especially post-PhD, and some people end up switching fields entirely. However, PhD's are about specializing and going deep, unlike a Bachelor's English degree which usually has students completing survey courses and going broadly through a lot of different areas. Here is some more detail about time periods and special areas.

Time period is pretty self explanatory. This is just the time period of literature that you study. Again most people read more widely than this, and we do have to have general knowledge of all of them, but picking one to specialize in is pretty much required. Here are common, incredibly general, ways of categorizing time periods with some example texts/authors***:

Medieval (pre-1400): This is things like Beowulf that require learning Old English and also Chaucer which is Middle English.

Early Modern (1500-1800): Also sometimes called the Renaissance especially for the early texts. This is your Shakespeare and Marlowe etc.

Early American/Victorian (1800-1900): This is where American literature starts to show up with your Hawthorne and Melville. This is also British literature like Dickens, Austen, Bronte, Shelly, etc. Romanticism is huge here.

Modernism (1900-1945): Modernism is more of a style than a time period that includes many non-literary works, but because it was so dominating during the interwar years it's shorthand for the time period. This includes Eliot, Hemmingway, Fitzgerald, Joyce, Woolf, etc.

Post-Modernism/Contemporary (1945-present): This is where things get silly in my opinion, because quite literally everything post WWII is generally referred to as contemporary literature. This is my area of specialty so I could go off on it forever, but just know it's a very, very broad time period (arguably the most broad because it's so undefined).

While again these time periods are very broad, the distinctions are pretty significant. It drives me nuts when I tell people I study literature and they ask me questions about Shakespeare! It's also why most people's understanding of "Classic Literature" is very silly. Putting Dickens, Chaucer, and Toni Morrison on the same list makes very little sense!

Special Areas are kind of the core of the field regardless of your time period. This is also where I think the misconceptions around what we do comes from. Special areas can pull from literally any other field alongside literature/literary studies itself, and many literature scholars these days end up becoming very skilled in history, political science, psychology, sociology, art history, film studies, religious studies, or really any other field as a method of complementing their analytical skills. We read A Lot, but so much of it is actually theory!

Some common areas of expertise you will encounter include: Race/ethnicity, ecocriticism, postsecular studies, regionalism, postcolonial/decolonial, book history, performance, sexuality/gender, Marxism, Deconstruction, psychoanalysis, and so many more. Literature provides an avenue to study pretty much anything else you want!

What are the biggest goals/questions?

As I've already described, literature can be used to answer pretty much any question you want. If I were to describe a single question, it would probably be something like "What do literary texts show us about social and cultural issues and vice versa?" This question is very broad, but so is the field! And it allows you almost infinite possibility on how you want to approach the literature.

The central skill to all of this is close reading. Close reading describes the ability to understand a text down to the level of the word and pull out meaning much deeper than a general surface-level reading. This is a skill that takes tons of practice and years of reading to be good at, but is something that anyone can learn how to do! If literature is something that interests you, this is the skill you need to learn to build. If you care about "critical thinking" or "media literacy," it's the same skills!

Conclusion:

That's all I have for now! I may or may not post more of these this week for the challenge, but I am always available to answer questions about literature! I love talking about this stuff!

*I put "American" in quotes because I mostly mean texts written/published within the United States, but that's a bit of a nebulous category. **To add on to my note about bias, this is coming from the perspective of a scholar in the US who mostly works in English. I'm sure the field has some nuances and differences in other languages/countries, but this is not meant to be exhaustive. ***Note that these time periods are very vague and also incredibly Anglocentric so please take them with a grain of salt.

[mitziholder]

I find your thoughts on fandom interesting, and in general, I'm really glad to see more discussion of the bad shit fandom can/is doing to young women in radblr spaces. But I mean this as an honest question: Why do you consider fandom not challenging writers/readers such a problem? These aren't professional writing spaces, and the vast majority of fanfic writers don't intend to go into them. Does an artistic hobby *need* to challenge its participants to be worthwhile? I mean this all really genuinely, especially as someone who *does* work in the arts and *does* actively want work that challenges me, and has traditionally prided herself on it -- are these inherent moral goods? Am I a reasonable standard to expect of other people? Is engaging with boundary-pushing art a requirement of healthy maturity? Why? Is, say, a human rights lawyer who spends her free time watching trashy reality shows blighted, somehow, by that fact? What about a cashier who watches the same stuff because she's genuinely not interested in anything else? And, given the vast majority of readers of actual books basically read the way fanfic-only readers read -- the same genres, which use well-worn tropes -- do we think fandom is actually keeping its participants from more worthwhile experiences? (I suspect you might argue this is dumbing down the publishing industry, which I would really disagree with, as someone in publishing -- I know we can all point to Ali Hazelwood or a million YA books that advertise with tropes, but I really can't emphasize enough that this has been the case since modern publishing began, and I think pinning "so-so prose that's The Same Old Shit" on the current young female writer cohort borders on sexism, tbh.) I've been thinking about these questions a lot lately, and I just don't know the answers. My gut wants to say yes, it's good to present challenging work to people, especially women, because art is a key part of the human experience, and can effect all sorts of societal things. But also ... I know very little about the environment, including my immediate natural environment, and if I'm honest, I'm not really inclined to learn. I'm sure learning about it would effect all sorts of change in my life and concept of self. But I'm probably not going to do it because I have a limited amount of time and I'd rather give it to other things. Is that better or worse than engaging with challenging art? Is it better or worse to be me than the woman reading the same old tropey fanfic in her free time? I think what I WOULD argue is that, specifically, fandom as it is reinforces patriarchy and induces a lot self-destruction and alienation in young women, with particularly vile effects on young lesbians, autistic women, etc. But if it didn't do that....would I still have a problem with it? I don't know. But it's interesting as hell to think about, and I'd love your thoughts on it.

hello nona :-) many interesting points, much to consider

>Does an artistic hobby need to challenge its participants to be worthwhile?

no. I’m sure there are plenty of people who enjoy crochet or knitting or something like that for the sake of it or to de-stress. I’m sure there are also plenty of people who write and draw for the sake of it with little interest in grinding for improvement. that’s fine. the problem is when you have people who replace reading and personal edification with endless fluff + pointless indulgence.

reading... things... that are above your level, that actually make you think, is how you increase your vocabulary, your linguistic competence, your critical thinking skills, your ability to express yourself. difficult and complex texts present you with opportunities to broaden your perspective. they stimulate your mind, present you with new ideas; they can help you grow as a person in ways that the Same Old Shit simply won’t/can’t. it would be like benching the bar every day for 10 years straight and expecting to get stronger... I presume. I don’t lift weights.

as I said previously, I don’t think fanfic is going to destroy your brain, but if you read nothing but fanfic, that is on the same level as (or maybe worse than) reading nothing at all. of course I’m going to be critical of a community of people who humblebrag about how they can’t bring themselves to read 25 pages of literature in an academic (non yaoitastic) context.

ya ya it’s a joke they’re joking very funny, but do you see people of other creative pursuits or hobbies joking about how they can’t bring themselves to focus on a piece of actual literature or nonfiction? how they have zero interest in anything outside of anime boys kissing each other? it’s a sign of intellectual stagnation (and eventual regression imo).

I watch a lot of shitty youtube videos, but I acknowledge that they are basically a waste of my time. meanwhile you have post after post singing the praises of how culturally important and worthy of respect Our Beloved Fic Writers are in spite of the fact that their work is, by and large, completely self-indulgent shit! there’s just so much potential that isn’t being tapped into & so much complacency... it’s very frustrating to me. I find it dishonest. red white and royal blue is not going to change the world... lol

for the record, yes, you are right, lots of Real book-readers also read mostly self-indulgent shit. genre fiction is far more popular than anything else... and I don’t care for booktok either. in fairness, literary fiction isn’t always good, and I’m sure there were many women who read nothing but terrible pulp novels 70 years ago too. that doesn’t make fandom any better! not to say this is all women’s fault - I just have zero frame of reference for how “cultured” men may or may not be, and I don’t really care either way. I focus on fandom girlies because they’re what I know, & I want women to be... better, or at least more interesting. this is, of course, sexist by definition. I hold myself and other women to higher standards. I will admit to that. I’ll also admit to the fact that I do not care about men or what they are writing or reading and would not give a shit if they all became illiterate thoughtless slugs. it is what it is.

truthfully, I have no interest in moralizing any of this. I just find it depressing! it’s resulting in more and more women who cannot relate to and have zero interest in anything outside of the narrowly defined fanfic bubble - so, more and more women who can’t relate to me or what I care about. I’m selfish, and I think it’s unfortunate that there are so many young female writers clearly capable of writing something interesting who nevertheless restrict themselves to lowest common denominator coombrained garbage because it’s what’s easy and popular.

do we have a responsibility to pester random strangers about their amateur fanfic? naw. who has the time? all I know is that conversations I’ve had with my female friends about our original works or other women’s writing have been vastly more substantial and enlightening than any argument about who tops or bottoms in supernatural... imo. in my opinion

re: the environment and social responsibility, I also have no interest in debating what matters are the most important and whether you have a personal, moral obligation to educate yourself about them. I recognize that we all have a limited amount of time and energy to dedicate to something which is admittedly fairly peripheral to most people’s everyday concerns (such as... paying the bills). then again, so is almost everything.

at the end of the day, I just think it is an awful shame that some women would - and they freely admit this - rather turn their brains off and do nothing, think about nothing, read the same shit over and over, watch the same shows over and over, draw and write the same things and dynamics over and over... than do anything else. anything different or thought-provoking or uncomfortable. it is a loss for the breadth and the depth of women’s contributions to culture as well as their empathy and intellectual curiosity.

obligatory food analogy: a little bit of junk food won’t kill you, but if that’s all you’re eating, you are probably not... doing... well

and that’s not even getting into the social contagion present within fandom re:mogai, relationships, and gender identity shit (which I would say probably has a lot to do with the underdeveloped critical thinking skills and worldviews of girls who read nothing but fanfiction). I would love to come back to that at some point, but I think this post is long enough, so I’ll just put a pin in it. there’s honestly an insane amount that I have to say about common talking points regarding the value of yaoi/fanfic (in terms of how they portray Marginalized Identities and Relationships and how it supposedly helps women navigate their own trauma through a proxy or some shit like that) oh god this is a horrible run-on .... that’s all for now! send post!

[theromanticrationalist]

My Thoughts: Young Sheldon 7x02 A Roulette Wheel and a Piano Playing Dog

Look how cute he is! Cute as a button! 😙 Awwww! Baby! It is so difficult for me to watch Sheldon struggling. Imagine being a fish out of water your entire life where your one socially acceptable trait is your intellect, which surpasses everyone’s, only to be thrown into A WHOLE OTHER COUNTRY, taking the fish metaphor to a whole other level, only to discover THE one quiver in your arsenal is utterly moot.

Damn. My poor baby string bean! But he handled it so well. He pushed through! I am proud of my Shelly! It is the aspect of why YS is better than TBBT because they allow for Sheldon to be a more complex individual and don’t treat him like a child, even though he is literally a child. The show allows circumstances to push against him, to make him stronger, and the narrative isn’t constantly belittling him as if he can’t handle life at all. It is actually quite a big deal that Sheldon was able to keep his mouth shut and humbled himself under an authority in order to learn what he needed to. And he did this by HIS choice! He listened to what those around him where telling him, and chose the wiser path. He didn’t have to be coerced, manipulated, or browbeaten into it, which was often the route TBBT took.

Well, his tutor DID use physical reinforcement, but a wrap on the hand is good for the boy. 😁

Which brings me into my next thought, I don’t think this moving back and forth from Texas and Germany is going to work really well for the storytelling. I want to see how the whole Cooper family is doing, of course, but I am primarily watching this show for Sheldon! I don’t feel like they are able to spend the amount of time necessary to really explore this experience he is having. It feels so rushed. I don’t like it. I want more time to process Sheldon’s life lessons here and how he is feeling about it. It is the same old story! This is literally one of the biggest problems with American media.

They. never. give. enough. time. to. the. story. EVER. !!!!!

🤦‍♀️ Why are you the way that you are, American Media. I hate so much everything that you choose to be.

Anyway, I did love the heart to heart chat between Missy and Georgie this episode! That was so sweet! They are learning what it means to have responsibilities and that growing up requires so much thankless sacrifice. I love the bond that Missy and Georgie have, and I am glad we got to see them process this experience together. And way to go Missy for not only stepping up, growing up, and being so mature and on top of things, but she also is learning about boundaries! Damn girl! 🔥 I know Mary Cooper loves serving her family so I love that aspect about her, but the boys definitely shouldn’t leave all the house stuff to the women folk, as if they have to be served and waited on. Missy is killing it! 💪

Missy and Sheldon, two sides of the same coin! I hope to talk more about that later! 😉 Now it’s time for...

My Favorite Sheldon Cooper Quotes: Sheldon: "And they laughed at me for not knowing something they knew! Who does that?!" Mary: ". . . you do." Sheldon: "This is no time for a teachable moment! Your child is hurting." Mary: "Sorry." *pats him on the arm* "There there." Sheldon: "I guess that'll do. Now how about a hot beverage?" Mary: 😑

Sheldon: “Oh! I see the problem! This is stupid! You can’t just invent dimensions. There is this one, this one, and this one.” Mei-Tung: “You forgot the dimension of time.” Sheldon: . . . Sheldon: *holds out his hand* Mei-Tung: *slaps it with a pencil* Sheldon: “Ow! . . . Thank you." Sheldon Prime: "I wanted to give up and runaway. But I had read enough comic books to know that heroes don't quit. Instead of running I decided to stay and face the biggest challenge I've ever had: keeping my mouth shut. This turned out to be a pivotal moment in my life. By being open to people smarter than me, I grew as both a man and a scientist. Humble. Brilliant. I really am the whole package!"

[likkolo]

does anybody want to read some of the royalty au minbin i found in my drafting gdoc? if u do here is a little bit of the beginning (it's about super big changbin and mobility issues)

“I am not interested in marrying,” Prince Lee Minho says when he is eighteen years old.

He says the same thing at twenty and at twenty-two. 

He says it again at twenty-four.

Then, for the first time, he is told in no uncertain terms that he cannot continue to delay. The King and Queen have decided that he is to be wed by the end of the year. A committee of officials has been assembled to search the kingdom for eligible souls according to Minho’s desires, in the hopes of facilitating a happy match. Minho needs only to tell them what his criteria are.

“Fine,” Minho says. He crosses his arms, ever the picture of the petulant and cantankerous prince that his parents have made him out to be. Then he thinks. He uncrosses his arms and holds up a finger. “I have just one criterion.”

“Just one?” says an official. “My prince, we have never known you to be… unchoosy.”

“Okay, then. Two.” Minho adds another finger. There’s a murmur among the assembly of officials, almost certainly to warn each other off of questioning the prince lest he become even more difficult. Minho pays them no mind.

“First,” Minho says. “I want the man I am to wed to be a year younger than I am.” The murmuring from the officials turns approving and demure, to show that they find this requirement to be perfectly reasonable. “And second,” Minho continues, “I want him to be fat. Very fat. Bring me the fattest twenty-three year old man you can find in the entire kingdom. And if he isn’t very fat then make him fatter before presenting him to me. He should weigh…”—Minho takes a moment to think— “no less than six hundred pounds.”

The officials are silent. Shocked. Finally one of them dares to speak. “My prince, are you… sure? You’re sure that that’s what you really want?”

“Yes, I am absolutely sure,” Minho says. “Because then I will be able to test the loyalty of the man who is to be wed to me. On our wedding day, he will be faced with a rather long walk down the aisle of our grandest church. If he truly loves me and wants to be my husband, then he will be determined to reach me at the altar. He will not give up, even though his prodigious size will make the task extremely difficult.”

“And if he does give up?”

“Then I will not be wed, and I will seek another suitor in the new year.”

“Yes, your highness.”

Minho turns, satisfied, and drops into his ornate chair. He applies his attention to a book instead, and ignores the officials as they filter out of his royal study.

Then he hears one of the officials mumble that no man of such a size could walk so far, and another who responds by saying that that must be what the prince is counting on. No man can complete the task that Minho has set, so no man will marry Minho.

Minho could call them back, ask for the names of the officials who dare to question his prudence. Any punishment he proposed would be agreed to by his parents. But it isn’t worth it, Minho decides. Let them take as many men as they can into the kingdom to find him the deliciously fat man he’s always dreamed of.

[tolkiens-middleearth]

Topics & Themes in Tolkien’s Legendarium

The Perilous Realm

“Stories that are actually concerned primarily with ‘fairies,’ that is with creatures that might also in modern English be called ‘elves,’ are relatively rare, and as a rule not very interesting. Most good ‘fairy-stories’ are about the adventures of men in the Perilous Realm or upon its shadowy marches.” – J. R. R. Tolkien. On Fairy Stories.

Tolkien called it the Perilous Realm, Faery or Faërie, and for me these words represent one of the most fascinating theme in Tolkien’s Legendarium. It is both a narrative and a world-building element that can be found in all his major Middle-earth stories and is in a way essential for understanding Tolkien’s approach to his own created world.

Yet I feel it rarely gets talked about, so I want to briefly highlight what it is, how it functions in the narrative, and give a few examples from various stories. Unfortunately can’t go into a deep analysis because doing so would require me to write a book – which I would love to, but I don’t have the time or qualification). Quote sources and further reading recommendations are given at the end.

WANDERING INTO FAERY

 “It is common in Fairy tales for the entrance to the fairy world to be presented as a journey underground, into a hill or mountain or the like. [...] My symbol is not the underground, whether necrological and Orphic or pseudo-scientific in jargon, but the Forest […].” – J. R. R. Tolkien. “Smith of Wooton Major” essay.

The core of this theme is the mortal wanderer who comes to or crosses the borders of Faërie, the land of fairies or elves. This idea has been part of legends and myths for a long time, one of the most prominent examples probably being the island of Avalon in the Arthurian legend. Depending on the story, Faërie can occupy a different time and space than our own world, or share the same space or time “in different modes”. Getting into Faërie is not always possible and many things can stop someone from entering: it may be completely inaccessible, it may be hidden and people have to find it, or it may be accessible only to those who know the secret on how to enter it. Once you are there, it may be difficult to leave, or it may take some time. Being there could turn out to be dangerous, but it also doesn’t necessarily have to be. Tolkien wrote that “in it are pitfalls for the unwary and dungeons for the overbold”.

In The Lord of the Rings, there are many examples of such a realm, some barely noticeable and some very clear and detailed.

It starts subtle when Frodo, Sam and Pippin meet Gildor and his Elves near Woodhall. It is no specific realm that they enter, but just wandering with the Elves already lets the Hobbits experience something they are not used to. They have trouble finding words for it afterwards or remembering it clearly, with Tolkien describing it that for Pippin it felt like he was in a waking dream. The next example is then already more direct: the four Hobbits enter the Old Forest. This time it really is perilous for them, they get lost and cannot find a way out. Tolkien describes it as follows:

“They began to feel that all this country was unreal, and that they were stumbling through an ominous dream that led to no awakening.”

Frodo almost falls asleep near an enchanting river, Merry and Pippin almost die. Without the help of an unexpected inhabitant of this forest, they never would have gotten out.

Reaching Rivendell is another less clear example. Rivendell itself is easier accessible than the Old Forest and less perilous for the Hobbits. But reaching it also includes a river, a river that is under Elrond’s command and that rises “in anger when [Elrond] has great need to bar the Ford”.  And within Rivendell, Frodo experiences another kind of “Faërian Drama” as Tolkien calls it: the stories and songs told in Rivendell hold him “in a spell”, and “the enchantment became more and more dreamlike” until in the end Frodo falls asleep once more. Bilbo comments that it’s difficult to stay awake “until you get used to it”.

The most prominent example is of course Lothlórien, a land of Elves that is rarely visited by mortal beings and where the flow of time is indeed different than that in the outside world. It’s also well defended against wanderers, and both in the world and the narrative the fellowship has to pass through: there are guards at the boarders that have to be convinced, there is a river that has to be crossed, a hidden path that has to be taken blindfolded. Tolkien is in no rush to get the fellowship to Galadriel – the reader, together with the wanderers, have to experience this journey.

The purest form of this theme in The Lord of the Rings is, of course, Frodo and Bilbo leaving for the island Tol Eressëa at the end of the story. It is the longest journey into Faërie, a journey that only a few are allowed to take and that you won’t come back from. Tol Eressëa is no longer in the space of the human world, and it’s very telling that Tolkien named the haven on the eastern shore on the island Avallónë.

More examples can be found in Tolkien’s other stories, and I will mention them less detailed when talking about the actual centre of the theme:

THE MORTAL VISITOR

„It seemed to [Frodo] that he had stepped through a high window that looked on a vanished world. A light was upon it for which his language had no name. All that he saw was shapely, but the shapes seemed at once clear cut, as if they had been first conceived and drawn at the uncovering of his eyes, and ancient as if they had endured forever.” – J. R. R. Tolkien. The Lord of the Rings.

All of Tolkien’s major stories have one thing in common: they have someone human at the core who is unfamiliar with Faërie and able to experience it as new and from an outside perspective.

In The Hobbit it is Bilbo who stumbles into a world he is not prepared for at all, and while it is less clearly shown in the narrative of a children’s book, the journey of Bilbo and the Dwarves clearly show signs of this theme – a dangerous forest, an enchanted river, a white deer, and Elven fires that suddenly vanish.

For The Lord of the Rings I have shown above that all four Hobbits experience this in one way or another, although Frodo is probably the one given the most focus.

“This is a history in brief drawn from many older tales; for all the matters that it contains were of old, and still are among the Eldar of the West, recounted more fully in other histories and songs. But many of these were not recalled by Eriol, or men have again lost them since his day. This Account was composed first by Pengolod of Gondolin, and Aelfwine turned it into our speech as it was in his time, adding nothing, he said, save explanations of some few names.” – J. R. R. Tolkien. Quenta Silmarillion.

The Quenta Silmarillion is a different type of story, so here the theme also takes a different form: it’s not a narrative as The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings and more a historical chronicle in style. It’s written as such, but also given the corresponding context: when Tolkien was first writing the Book of Lost Tales and later the Quenta Silmarillion, the framework he had built for it was that of a mortal men coming to Tol Eressëa and learning of these past events. The one wandering into the Perilous Realm is Eriol or Ælfwine, listening to the stories of the Elves and writing them down for other humans to read. When Tolkien eventually started writing The Lord of the Rings, he was able to change his framing story. There was no longer a need for Ælfwine to reach Tol Eressëa to learn about these tales – now it’s Bilbo who wrote it down in three volumes called “Translations from the Elvish” that he had added to his private diary when he handed it over to Frodo.

This concept applies to the Quenta Silmarillion as a whole, but the main three stories within the Quenta Silmarillion still have a similar mortal visitor as The Hobbit or The Lord of the Rings. In Beren and Lúthien, it’s the mortal Beren who wanders into the Elven Kingdom Doriath and gets enchanted when he sees Lúthien dancing and singing. In the Children of Húrin, it’s Túrin who enters Doriath as well, but also the Elven Kingdom Nargothrond. Both times, Túrin is unable to find the entrance himself; he is lead there by Elven guides – first Beleg, then Gwindor. And in the Fall of Gondolin, Tuor is led by an Elven guide to through many gates under a mountain to the Elven Kingdom Gondolin – one of the rarer cases of a "journey underground, into a hill or mountain".

And even the Akallabêth incorporates this theme, although in a different way than the previous stories. The story of the Fall of Númenor is about wanting to go to Faërie, and not being allowed to. There are other aspects to this as well of course, but looking at it with this theme in mind, that is the core of the story. Ar-Pharazôn is the mortal man who desires to reach Faërie, but when he tries to get there by force it ends in his death.

The mortal visitor as the protagonist in their story is essential for this theme to work. To experience Faërie as a visitor, to enter a “dream that some other mind is weaving” in such a way, it is a uniquely mortal experience that the reader could imagine to have, but that the immortal Elves can almost never share – after all they create their realms, they are the creator of a dream that the mortal wanderer, Tolkien as the writer, and we as the reader are dreaming.

THE CREATOR OF THE DREAM

“Faërie contains many things besides elves and fays, and besides dwarfs, witches, trolls, giants, or dragons: it holds the seas, the sun, the moon, the sky; and the earth, and all things that are in it: tree and bird, water and stone, wine and bread, and ourselves, mortal men, when we are enchanted.” – J. R. R. Tolkien. On Fairy Stories.

The immortal creators are not irrelevant of course, although they cannot be the centre of any story about wandering into the Perilous Realm. The outsider experience, essential for this theme, cannot come from the one living inside the Perilous Realm. The inhabitants in Tolkien’s stories are Elves most of the time – near Woodhall, in Rivendell, Lóthlorien, Mirkwood, Gondolin, Doriath and Nargothrond. But they are of course not the only creators of such realms. Dwarves come in and out of these stories, and in the case of the Old Forest the implication is that Old Man Willow is the main force behind the spell:

“His grey thirsty spirit drew power out of the earth and spread like fine root-threads in the ground, and invisible twig-fingers in the air, till it had under its dominion nearly all the trees of the Forest from the Hedge to the Downs.”

And of course the Valar and Maiar have their part in the story. Especially Tol Eressëa and Valinor are mainly built by the Valar, and in Middle-eath the magical boundaries of Doriath were set by Melian. In moments where Fëarie is not solely or not at all made by the Elves, they may enter the dream of another mind as well. It happened when the Elves first came to Valinor, and a more personal example is Thingol meeting Melian for the first time, where “an enchantment fell on him” in which he was caught for years without moving. This is only possible, however, when Elves meet someone with a creative power far greater than them – one of the Maia or above is required.  

However, this was never Tolkien’s focus. In Tolkien’s stories, the Perilous Realm is often a place inhabited by the Fair Folk – but I have also mentioned that sometimes Faërie exists in another mode. Throughout the examples given, dreams have been an important element of the experience of Faërie, and it’s one that Tolkien also thought a lot about. In our own world, we cannot reach Faërie in our space, but it may be approachable in another mode – through dreams. This becomes especially apparent in his texts The Lost Road and The Notion Club Papers, and it was also a part of how Tolkien saw his own relationship with his work: a mortal entering a dream of Faërie.  

ENDING THOUGHTS

There are many aspects of this that I haven’t touched on, and that I would love to explore or discuss. There is for example the case of Frodo, a mortal who has been in touch with something that belongs into the world of Faërie, that he cannot properly come back: when coming back to the Shire, Marry comments on how it feels like a dream is slowly fading, like he is waking up. Frodo however says: “To me it feels more like falling asleep again.” Already, it is clear he can never fully return.

Then there is the case of reversing the idea of Faërie in the case of Túrin – he is trying to bring Nargothrond closer to the outside world so that he can use its force in war. In return, he makes it accessible and the kingdom falls. In general, it’s a fascinating thing to see Túrin’s relationships with the Perilous Realms.  

Or if we talk about dreams, what about the nightmares? Is Mordor basically an anti-Faërie, inhabited by Orcs instead of Elves, where the path leads through a spider lair instead of over a river, and where any mortal being can only end up as a corrupted slave if they stay there for too long?

What about including such an essential theme in adaptations? In Peter Jackson’s The Lord of the Rings movies, flawed as they may be at times, the experience of Faërie through the eyes of the Hobbits is notable – especially in Rivendell and Lóthlorien. Meanwhile in Amazon’s The Rings of Power, this theme is completely absent and the Elven realms in Middle-earth have no more mystery than a Harfoot camp or a random human village in the South.  

I hope I get to explore this theme more, I’ve been eager for month to write at least a tiny bit about it and it’s already way too long for tumblr again. But there are other themes that are also very interesting, so we’ll see how it’ll go…

If you have read up to here to the end I would like to thank you for your time and attention – both is much appreciated!

READ MORE ON THIS TOPIC

On Fairy Stories, an essay by J. R. R. Tolkien.

Smith of Wootton Major, by J. R. R. Tolkien.

The Lost Road, fragments by J. R. R. Tolkien.

The Notion Club Papers, fragments by J. R. R. Tolkien.

Faërie: Tolkien’s Perilous Land, an essay by Verlyn Flieger.

A Question of Time, by Verlyn Flieger.

QUOTE SOURCES

J. R. R. Tolkien. On Fairy Stories.

J. R. R. Tolkien. The Lord of the Rings.

J. R. R. Tolkien, edited by Christopher Tolkien. The Silmarillion.

J. R. R. Tolkien; edited by Veflyn Flieger. Smith of Wootton Major ‘Extended Edition’, Smith of Wootton Major essay.

J. R. R. Tolkien, edited by Christopher Tolkien. The Lost Road and other Writings, Quenta Silmarillion.

[nyaboshi]

I EXCITEDLY INVITE YOU TO TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT CEDRIC!! (Or just as much as you want to share :] ) I’M SUPER CURIOUS NOW!

AHHH LET ME COPY/PASTE FROM A CHARACTER SHEET I DID FOR HIM BECAUSE MY CAPACITY TO YAP LONG PARAGRAPHS IS SMALL RN

TW later in the post for emotional neglect and abuse

Cedric is a highly intelligent individual who tends to keep to himself. This is more out of habit than truly enjoying being alone. In reality, Cedric is an incredibly lonely person who longs for companionship. His rough background has caused him to be rather emotionless though, which makes it difficult for him to interact with and get along with others. His expression and voice are completely blank 90% of the time. It's rare that he shows any kind of emotion, with the emotion he's feeling having to be super strong for it to affect him in that way. His past has led him to develop a condition that affects his ability to register his emotions. As such, he cannot read the emotions in others, tends to be completely logical with his thinking, and has difficulty understanding others' point of views. Despite this seemingly cold exterior, he does have a softer way of acting. Cedric understands right from wrong and tries to act in a way that would be interpreted as good. He helps others not out of compassion or sympathy, but because he knows it would be right. That, and his subconscious wishes people would look through the tough shell thrown over his heart and actually try to reach out to him. He could never express this desire, however, as he doesn't know he even has it.

Cedric is the oldest of two. He was born sickly and his parents considered him a failure. They did the bare minimum to take care of him, raising him until he was about 5 years old. At that point, his mother had a second child who was much healthier. They raised him up on a pedestal and practically forgot about Cedric other than making sure to keep him alive. He was forced to stay in his room for majority of the day, and when his younger brother was old enough to be given his own room they moved him up to the attic. Cedric stayed isolated for majority of his life, only leaving his room for the bare necessities and for school later on. He tried a couple times to seek emotional dependency from his parents, but they had all but cut him out of their lives at that point. He gave up when he was around 8. This isolation greatly stunted his emotional and social skills, leading to him closing off and hardening up to vastly unhealthy amounts. At the age of 18, his parents used his adulthood as an excuse to kick him out. Cedric's only saving factor was his ability to get a full-ride scholarship to a university due to his intelligence and promising grades. Following the interest he had gathered from watching multiple documentaries as a child, he enrolled in school for biological sciences and has been working to complete his Master's degree on campus.

Alexithymia

Way, way too into biology. Particularly the intricate bodily functions and makeup of living creatures. He will talk for hours about it, including all the nitty gritty details, and he will have absolutely 0 clue that he's disturbing anyone.

He's not a fan of reading books of fiction (particularly anything with fantasy aspects) because his imagination is basically nonexistent.

Despite what one may assume, he would love to have a family someday. Cedric is envious of healthy parent/child relationships and would love to be part of one, whether he's the parent or the child. Again, this is an emotion of his he doesn't understand, and thus can't talk about.

Cedric is completely unaware of how wrong it was for his parents to treat him that way. His brain was wired to think, "Oh. I wasn't the ideal specimen, so I was thus discarded." Because of this, he tends to write off anyone that doesn't meet the exact requirements of what he may need for a project. He doesn't understand why this may upset others.

It would take SOOOOO much therapy to fix him. He thinks therapy is useless anyways, because he doesn't understand emotions enough to realize that it's possible for there to be something wrong with them.

He's so touch starved that touch feels "painful" to him. In reality, he's just not used to it at all and his nerves automatically assume he's being attacked. If he were to be coaxed into fully accepting affection, he'd melt.

Loves classical music.

Real big on fulfilling debts. If you do something kind for him, there's no talking him out of repaying you with something he believes is perfectly equal to the favor he received. This is also true in the opposite direction, which means he may try to force someone into doing something for him because he thinks it's the proper thing to do. If they hardcore shut him down though, he won't press. He might just keep offering different routes to "repay their debts" until they agree to something.

Surprisingly, he's very gentle with people. Never lays a hand on them, always speaks with what he believes is a respectful tone (which may sound curt to others, but he's just a straightforward guy). The only thing stopping him from being likable is the fact that he literally acts like an emotionless doll.

His solution to trying to understand others is to write down every little detail he discovers about them. This way, he can maximize his "consideracy" for others. This tends to have the opposite effect, because it makes him seem super stalkerish. Especially since he specializes in a scientific field that dissects things.

Although he's utterly fascinated by all things biological, plants are his main focus. He could tell you anything and everything about plants, and he keeps a whole bunch in a greenhouse he rents. It's his top hyperfixation.

He doesn't have any contact with his parents whatsoever. Not because he doesn't want to, but because they don't want to, and Cedric sees nothing wrong with that (even if it does severely hurt him deep down).

I haven't drawn him yet, but here's an AI image I generated because I REALLY wanted to see him visualized

AI really wanted his shirt to be open at the collar, but he would actually wear much more reserved clothing XDDD

HE'S MY BABY BOY THANK YOU FOR ASKING ABOUT HIM

[ariaste]

So excited to announce my next book, YIELD UNDER GREAT PERSUASION, coming out on September 17th! If you've never read any of my books before, no worries--this is a standalone, so you can jump right in without any extra context. (The stunning cover art is by the amazingly talented @holographings -- go check out all his other art!)

"Alongside the sexiness and absurdity (and the sexy absurdity) in Yield Under Great Persuasion is a tender, resonant story of second and third chances and being loved when we need it most and feel we deserve it least. Evocative, emotional, and endlessly entertaining." —Jules Arbeaux, author of Lord of the Empty Isles

SUMMARY:

Tam Becket has hated Lord Lyford since they were boys. The fact that he’s also been sleeping with the man for the last ten years is irrelevant. When they were both nine years old, Lyford smashed Tam’s entry into the village’s vegetable competition. Nearly twenty years later, Tam still hasn’t forgiven the bastard. No one understands how deeply he was hurt that day, how it set a pattern of small disappointments and misfortunes that would run through the rest of his life. Now Tam has reconciled himself to the fact that love and affection are for other people, that the gods don’t care and won’t answer any of his prayers (not even the one about afflicting Lyford with a case of flesh-eating spiders to chew off his privates), and that life is inherently mundane, joyless, and drab. But then, the very last straw: Tam discovers that Lyford (of all people!) bears the divine favor of Angarat, the goddess Tam feels most betrayed and abandoned by. In his hurt and anger, Tam packs up and prepares to leave the village for good. But the journey doesn’t take him far, and Tam soon finds himself set on a quest for the most difficult of all possible prizes: Self care, forgiveness, a second chance... and somehow the unbelievably precious knowledge that there is at least one person who loves Tam for exactly who he is—and always has.

This book might be for you if:

You like enemies-to-lovers but you think it would be improved by being a one-sided situationship, and meanwhile the other person is living through a "hopelessly yearning for childhood crush" trope

you like it when two people are so, so, so stupid that they've been fucking for 10 years and Person A hasn't figured out that Person B is in love with him, and Person B hasn't realized that Person A doesn't even know about his feelings

You know how fucking hard it is to Do The Work In Therapy and you want some catharsis about it

you want to read about an imperfect, truly difficult person who still gets loved, because being perfect is not a requirement to deserve affection and care

you know that merely saying sorry for wronging someone doesn't just magically take away the bad feelings and automatically repair the relationship, and you want to read about someone having to do the extra steps that come after the apology

this one's for the wlw: fat harvest goddess milf. my gift to u

you like gods who don't have anything better to do than stick their noses into human business

when you see a gorgeous man holding an infant, it takes you out at the knees

you like queernorm fantasy AND small-town gossip, and you find the intersection of the two delicious and intriguing

a religion based on pre-Christian Brythonic England. That is, they've got henges and standing stones instead of churches and altars. it's cool

plant magic!!!!!

"god of temptation and evil"? No, actually that's the god of self-indulgence, self-care, personal boundaries, and taking responsibility for the consequences you consented to.

You can preorder it in ebook, hardback, and paperback from most retailers (with more coming soon), but if you'd like to order an autographed copy from me directly, just fill out this form! :) Signups for autographed copies close on August 31st, so hurry hurry hurry if you want to nab yours!

(Signal boosts are very much appreciated! 🙏)

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Rereading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

The previous chapter was all grouchy wizards and atmospheric walking...and this one opens with the return of Professor Tolkien medieval literature scholaring all over the page. So let's just jump in and talk "The Bridge of Khazad-Dum."

So finding the tomb of a comrade always sucks, but context is EXTREMELY required in such cases. Unfortunately, this is the moment where Professor Tolkien rears his ugly head once again. I'm a Shakespeare scholar, and moreover I was a Shakespeare scholar at a reasonably broke school in Alaska, so I designed my thesis to not require me to go look at extant original texts. When I got to my PhD, some fuckery at an administrative level meant that when my first supervisor retired, I was dumped into the lap of a film scholar, so my dissertation because EXTREMELY about film adaptations. So I don't have firsthand experience with extant historical documents and texts, but I am aware of the process. As an undergrad, I once questioned why my text said "safety" while another text said "sanity" (and was very scoffed at before the professor actually understood the question, because I phrased it poorly). The good answer though?

Extant texts from Shakespeare's day and older are PLAGUED with slipperiness that makes them difficult to read and reproduce. They come from a time before standardized spelling, and printers often weren't that careful setting type. If they come from before the printing press, you have issues with handwriting legibility and misspellings. Then there are issues with extant documents being damaged or torn or missing pages or faded by the time we get to them, especially if they've been in private hands without the experience to properly preserve them. So the difference between "safety" and "sanity" was some editor or academic's educated guess because they had a word that started with "s," ended in "y," and was probably about six letters.

Tolkien, as a scholar with an interest in medieval texts, would have understood these issues because I'd be willing to bet hard cash that his academic work required using primary sources and original extant texts. And I'm willing to bet that because we get EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN ONE OF THESE ISSUES with the Book of Mazarbul. In no particular order, here are the issues Gandalf calls out while trying to read this thing:

multiple pages are missing from the beginning

blurred words

burned words

staining (probably blood)

edged blade damage

deteriorated pages that break off

shitty handwriting

partially visible words and guesswork that goes with it

a total lack of context for any of the words you CAN make out

This book is every book scholar's worst goddamn nightmare, because you'll never recreate the whole thing, your guesses are likelier to be wrong than right, and if you don't have plot armor preserving the important stuff, you might literally end up with a description of someone's breakfast but nothing else.

I will say though, there's one thing in here that Tolkien SHOULD have been familiar with in extant texts that isn't represented here. Marginalia. Humans were humans even in the 11-1400s, and scribes and apprentices got bored while copying out books by hand. They doodled. They wrote snarkastic comments in the margins. They had to scratch things out and redo. They had cats around and sometimes little paw prints are found in old manuscripts. Like...ancient books had personality. I get where the dwarves might not have done this in their log book, especially towards the end, but I would have loved some marginalia too.

Because the first few pages of this chapter feel less like Gandalf reading the final account of the attempted Moria colony to me and more like Professor Tolkien having a moment because WHY IS THIS GODDAMN PAGE MISSING I JUST NEED THIS ONE PAGE BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, ITS FUCKING MISSING...

Academia some days, I swear.

But we get knocked out of the academic and into the adventurous pretty fast when the drums in the deep start tolling "doom, doom." And everyone loses their goddamn minds, as any reasonable person would, because we just finished hearing about the dwarves being trapped while the drums in the deep boomed.

Aragorn isn't going down without a fight though. He and Boromir get their asses on securing the door from which the immediate danger will come, with a bit of an assist from Frodo and Sting when some ballsy Uruk puts a foot through the door.

We also get badass good guy Samwise Gamgee:

When thirteen had fallen the rest fled shrieking, leaving the defenders unharmed, except for Sam who had a scratch along the scalp. A quick duck had saved him; and he had felled his orc: a sturdy thrust with his Barrow-blade. A fire was smouldering in his brown eyes that would have made Ted Sandyman step backwards, if he had seen it.

Our boy took out an ORC all on his own!!! Sam is more than capable of taking care of business and apparently he gets scary when you back him in a corner. I entirely approve, and I cannot believe we didn't get this in the movie. GIVE ME SAM SINGLE-HANDEDLY TAKING OUT AN ORC, PETER JACKSON!!!

We also get an Orc chieftain stabbing the hell out of Frodo, which was an honor given to the cave troll in the movies. This goes by pretty fast though, even for a Tolkien battle. It's kind of a one-two stab and grab before everyone makes a run for it. We do get Sam freeing Frodo by chopping the spear haft in half, but if you're reading quickly, it's easy to miss that this should ABSOLUTELY have killed Frodo. The language is pretty clear that it doesn't, and Tolkien only kind of tokenly tries a fake-out death here, since we literally just got the mithril reminder at the end of the last chapter. But I guess technically we get a fake-out death here.

It is very quickly confirmed that Frodo is alive though, with everyone being like, "Wait, you're NOT dead?" and Aragorn and Gandalf both going, "jesus christ, hobbits are tough as nail."

As we keep running from the hordes of Orcs, Uruks, and cave trolls, things start to get hot and there is firelight in places firelight SHOULD EXTREMELY NOT BE. But it does cue Gandalf about where they are, and he points everyone toward the titular Bridge of Khazad-Dum, and the exit. Now it's just a matter of hauling ass and getting out.

Unfortunately, when Legolas turns around to shoot some bitches and buy time, this happens:

Something was coming up behind them. What it was could not be seen: it was like a great shadow, in the middle of which a dark form, of man-shape, maybe, yet greater; and a power and terror seemed to be in and to go before it. It came to the edge of the fire and the light faded as if a cloud had bent over it. Then with a rush it leaped across the fissure. The flames roared up to greet it, and wreathed about it; and a black smoked swirled in the air. It's streaming mane kindled, and blazed behind it. In its right hand was a blade like a stabbing tongue of fire; in its left it held a whip of many thongs. "Ai! ai [sic]!" wailed Legolas. "A Balrog!"

And I just need to take a second here, because like I've said, I was more familiar with the movies than the book. And I just need Tolkien to EXPLAIN HIS DAMN SELF with this description. It's maybe man-shaped, but it has a mane? Like that does give adapters a lot of room to get creative, but WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GET HORNED SHEEP LAVA THING from??? Because that ain't in the text. I do love the drama of this description though. Like, the Balrog knows it's freaking magnificent and is going to play to all the drama that being wreathed in fire and smoke gives it. Which...ngl, I love for it. This thing is damn cool.

And I appreciate that we have FINALLY met a foe that makes Gandalf just kind of stop and go "...fuck me." Because he was starting to feel a bit OP and bored, and now he's taking it seriously, which means I as a reader should be FUCKING TERRIFIED right now, and I appreciate that.

From there, this goes down basically as the movie does, with the sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight deviation that Aragorn and Boromir get BACK on the bridge to have Gandalf's back, so they're like, within arm's reach of him as the Balrog falls and drags Gandalf down with it. But even the dialogue was lifted almost exactly from the page, so I don't feel like I need to go over this bit in much detail. It's badass, it's tragic, and it happens FAST.

And then, of course, everyone else has to haul ass out of there because the Balrog just took out your OP wizard with a flick of its wrist.

So they run, and they run a LOT for a LONG time. They run until they're out of bow-shot of the walls. And as readers, we are left with this final image:

They looked back. Dark yawned the archway of the Gates under the mountain-shadow. Faint and far beneath the earth rolled the slow drum-beats: doom. A thin black smoke trailed out. Nothing else was to be seen; the dale all around was empty. Doom. Grief at last wholly overcame them, and they wept long: some stand and silent, some cast upon the ground. Doom, doom. The drum-beats faded.

So my little headcanon here? Those drumbeats stop being harbingers of doom in that final paragraph and transform to metaphorical heartbeats for Gandalf. We know--because Pippin established it--that falls in Moria can be LONG. They take a while. The Fellowship got out of immediate danger range, and Gandalf could still have been falling. But all they have to go on is those faint, distant, slow drum-beats. The heartbeat/drumbeat comparison is so easy it's not a reach, and when they finally fade and stop, the sense is that there is nothing else for the army of evil to attack. That is--as far as anyone knows or can reasonably assume--the end of Gandalf. It's the literary equivalent of a jump cut and sudden stop of the drumroll in film execution scenes. It cues everyone that something has ended.

Well, this chapter was ABSOLUTELY not more atmospheric walking, and even though it cost us our wizard, I appreciated the tension, the fear, and the pacing in the chapter at large. The mix of breakneck action and still or slow moments to let everyone react or comment was really well done, and finally having something that actually managed to shake Legolas and Gandalf was genuinely scary.

We're going to leave it there for now, and next time we'll pick up with the aftermath of almost getting eaten by a Balrog and losing the mentor wizard of the party. We've only got four more chapters to go, so let's see what the pacing and party dynamics do as we head for Lothlorien sans wizard.

[thedragonsfate]

LMAO can you imagine reading a story where two traumatized FIFTEEN year old boys going through a consistently life threatening situation and simultaneously learning that they have a lot to navigate in their romantic relationship revealed by this time that is Very Hard because it reveals a dissonance in their understanding of the world. where they then both become separately aware of and commit to amending and understanding one another, to the point that they are able to begin discussing how one of their Perspectives has been very hurtful to his bf followed by several apologies and acknowledgements that the former didn't understand but wants to.

Where the bf who had been feeling very hurt is able to safely and healthily express how the others perspective maybe wasn't fair to him and potentially counter to a lot of what he stands for but maybe has skirted around bc of perceived judgment. Where him doing so is in direct pursuit of his own trauma recovery. Where the bf who didn't understand proceeds to show several instances of him actively trying not only to amend his judgement but to show explicitly that he is actively working in real time to expand his world view, because he didn't understand before but that doesn't mean he can't come to understand.

Where they learn about conflict in a relationship and how it's not always explosive but can be insidious as it creeps up in the both of you quietly if you don't actively seek resolution. Where they show incredible skill at listening to eachother to understand, and the bf who has spent this time thus far exhibited as The Good One of the two is able to admit and understand where he has gone wrong and chooses to see that the world is more complicated than he thought. To realize that darkness can facilitate growth and that harsh reactions often come from a place of hurt and it's not fair to inflict punishment onto something just because it's scary, that it's important to extend your hand first and try for understanding, even with things you've spent your life considering Inherently Bad/Evil like death.

Where the hurt bf is able to focus on embracing the hard parts of his life and how they've shaped him and lean even further into his nature of Reaching Out to those in need that other folks shy away from while also maintaining the beginnings of a healthy conversation with his bf about what that means to him. Where he is able to acknowledge how the world has hurt and judged him and use his newfound safe space to find even more people he is ready to open up to and lean on separate from his partner and his partners individual journey into understanding him.

can you IMAGINE reading this beautiful story abt two fifteen year olds learning these really hard lessons together that so many adults cannot grasp, learning to navigate conflict by understanding that they love eachother and that is enough to facilitate the conversations required to keep going if they're willing to try

can you IMAGINE reading such a poignant story about the beginnings of recovery and escaping a state of Survival to become who you are and who you want to be, of showing that recovery is not as easy as choosing to ignore the torment build into your perception of the world - but that you can get to a place where you can begin choosing to understand and accept those things in order to be able to choose your own idea of happiness, of showing light in the dark and dark in the light, of showing the strength in being true to yourself as you depend on oneanother, of having a harsh and difficult past and getting to a point where you're able to look back and say I Don't Want To Do That Anymore, of opening your eyes to the beauty of dark things and letting go of a Very Human instinct to condemn them because you're able to see how you may have been wrong and can now choose to expand how you see the world

can you IMAGINE reading that book and your take away being

"this healing teenager is Cringy and OOC in his recovery bc he acts like a dorky teenager experiencing joy and his boyfriend is Evil bc he's OBVIOUSLY against everything the other stands for TOXICALLY and should be cast aside because he doesn't deserve his partner if he doesn't immediately understand every aspect of his trauma without them discussing it as, again, a FIFTEEN YEAR OLD"

[camp-counselor-life]

I have recently had... a struggle with mental health. Below is my reflection on it, and my mental health in general. Below the fold since it's long.

Here I am, 30 year old, over a decade into a bipolar disorder diagnosis. While I had symptoms for about 6 years prior to that (the average delay between onset of bipolar symptoms and diagnosis is upwards of 10 years), I wasn't diagnosed officially until I was almost 19. So I guess you can say it's been 17 years in the making.

Despite all these years, I don't know everything about my illness, and I certainly am not a pro at managing it. I'm still messing with medication, dealing with mood episodes and anxiety, and learning about how to cope with it all. Which I will for the rest of my life.

This summer was... hard. Some of it is meds. They still aren't balanced. But a lot was work. And my lack of coping skills and stress management and self care, all of which basically disappeared sometime around the end of June. I was self aware enough to start tracking behaviors, trying to claw my way out of my spiral, but I couldn't.

So, at some point, I gave up. I stopped caring for my asthma, for my anxiety, for myself overall. Some was how difficult work had become. I told my new/returning supervisor that I had worked office days of 10-11 hours several times a week, without breaks, and she was horrified. But also responded that my job isn't a 40 hours a week job and there's after hours required. I get it, my job happens outside 9-5. But. I need to be able to care for myself, more than I was.

My friend recently pointed out that this is my rock bottom. And maybe it is. It's probably good to be called out, that I'm not in a good space when I think I'm doing a great job at self care because I can give myself a sticker for eating enough every day in a week (yes, this is such a problem I give myself stickers for it).

I recently read a book about "owning" your bipolar. And it's hard, because I do not own it. I hide it, I push it down, I ignore it. And I suffer when I do.

The truth is that, in my life, I cannot coast. I cannot just "be" because I have to work at maintaining stability. I will always have to emphasize self care and self management, forever. Because when I let it go, it gets bad. And that's what I learned this year. I can't let it go.

[knavearcade]

November 2024 Oracle Cards for Each Human Design Energy Type

If you’re like me, this past month has felt very long in a hazy, restless kind of way. Based on these cards, next month wants us to take some time to process what’s transpired so that we can use it to make December better than the whole year’s been. There’s a “footnote” kind of energy I’m getting and I think that’s primarily because Pluto will finally leave Capricorn for the last time. Since 2008, it’s mostly been in that sign, save for most of this year (Pluto went into Aquarius on January 20th and then retrograded back into Capricorn on September 1st). While the specific area of your chart will tell you what that’s meant for you personally, as a whole, we’ve been grappling with our concepts of work ethic, hustle culture, and the gig economy. How has that affected you? Who were you prior to 2008 and who are you today?

We are entering uncharted territories and that can be seen with the cards I’ve chosen for the month. The illustrated herbal cards come from the Apothecary Spirits Oracle, which is a beautiful deck that was just released a few months ago! It’s quickly become a new favorite!

As for the square, collage-style cards… they are actually from my upcoming oracle deck! The Refract & Reflect Oracle is still a work in progress and if you like what you see, I need your help to make it a reality! I have bills and other expenses to prioritize before I can get another prototype made, so now more than ever, every dollar made from booking a reading or leaving a tip means a whole helluva lot. 

~~

Generators

Nocturnes & Gardening Tools

Even though they say the veil is thinnest towards the end of October, you can always develop your magick. Generators, you’ll benefit from doing inventory on the routines that work for you in terms of getting things done and making things happen. What healing modalities have helped keep your mind clear and body energized? Is it time to book a therapy session or perhaps find a new therapist entirely? Have you ever tried the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT aka “tapping”)? November is a month for you to fine-tune what tools are in your toolkit; sharpen, replace, and donate as needed.

~~

Manifesting Generators

Softness & Passionflower

Getting ahead doesn’t always require a forceful hand or putting the pedal to the metal. Sometimes, all you need is a gentle touch, a little lightness on your feet, or a clear head after a good night’s sleep. For many of us, the end of the year gets very hectic with family gatherings, business deadlines, and the end of the school semester, and we try to go full-speed ahead. But instead of trying to push through and get everything done on nothing but three cups of coffee and two hours of sleep (on and off, of course), I invite you to rethink your task list and give yourself some grace. Pay attention to where you’re running on auto-pilot because that’s simply the way it’s always been this time of year. But what can be approached with more ease? What do you truly need to attend to? What can you release?

~~

Projectors

Illuminate & Darling River Rose

This month, Projectors, I invite you to remember all the ways you’ve grown. I invite you to remember what you’ve realized about yourself, your truths, and your capabilities. As we near the end of the year, how have you changed? It’s so difficult for us to see ourselves as well as we can see others, but it’s so beneficial when we can. Take some time this month for introspective work and don’t be afraid to broaden the scope of your trajectory. Who were you at the beginning of the year? What were your goals and hopes? What about five years ago? What about 15? If you have the opportunity, look at old photo albums, playlists, journals, and anything else that you can get your hands on.

~~

Manifestors

Cleanse & Juniper

This November is a good month to clear your physical, emotional, and energetic spaces. There are some big revelations and ideas that are eager to make their way to you, but the paths are a little crowded or murky. Spending time on both literal and metaphysical cleansing practices will prime you for whatever comes next. This can be as simple as carving time out for ritual baths, clearing out the photos on your phone (at least back them up, Mercury Retrograde is coming up on the 25th btw), or vacuuming the cobwebs in your home. It can also look like lighting herbs (I love rosemary), playing good music, and visualizing all your anxieties melting off your body and sinking into the earth.

~~

Reflectors

Stories & Nettle

It’s bitter medicine, but heartbreak always teaches us something new, right? For many of us, November (and the end of the year in general) can bring up a lot of sore spots, especially in the realm of relationships and family. If you find yourself revisiting a lot of hurt, try to look at things from different perspectives. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes or try to think of how an outsider would see things. And don’t forget about the scope of the timeline. In a longer trajectory, how did things turn for you or anyone involved? You don’t have to do any of this on your own either, talking it out with a trusted confidant or therapist can lead to some breakthroughs in the patterns you may have been holding onto.

~~

If you like what you’re seeing of the Refract & Reflect Oracle, I’ll be sharing more of the cards and the process on my Ko-Fi membership site! Thank you!