#but jfc just look at liz here

[kittenboom]

Elton John and Elizabeth Hurley, photographed by Mario Testino for Vogue, December 2002.

[grizzersmamma]

Omg omg omg omg I just read both of your Deamon AU fics???? They are so good!! And beautifully written!!!

please please if not too much trouble, can I please request for that Au?? Maybe like all of 141 meeting each other and Deamon’s for the first time?? I picture Gaz has some kind of bird like a mourning dove or a humming bird and Price has a stronger dog breed- like a Shepard of a sheep bearding dog — y know something protective?

UGH I LOVE THIS AUUU A

((sorry if you aren’t taking requests on this, I just wanna say it’s the best thing I’ve read💕💕💕))

Requests are always open! (I just might take a while because I'm slow af lol)

I wanted to get this out this weekend just passed, but I got a fresh 'rona shot on Friday and it took me out with more precision than a sniper bolt to the face jfc. I absolutely adore the thought of Gaz with a little birb (a pretty one ofc), but I'd actually already picked something out for him, so I hope you like it almost as much as your idea. Regardless, I hope you enjoy!

Summary: John Price has hand picked every member of his Task Force carefully to create the perfect team we have today, even if it hasn't always felt like that.

Notes: Written from Price's POV reflecting on the team's past.

Pairing: John "Soap" MacTavish x Simon "Ghost" Riley

Series Masterlist: Here

CoD Masterlist: Here

Taglist: @heyitsropi

The first time John met Simon, he was only that, Simon Riley. The Ghost was yet to exist, and in his place, was a young man still full of life. He was friendly enough to the men close to him, but with a weariness toward anyone unknown.  

That caution, of course, extended toward John in the early few days. The first few times they interacted, he was strictly professional, his daemon even more so. The panther would stalk along beside her human, remaining in silence throughout all discussions, coming and leaving as quietly as a shadow. 

But over time, the younger man gradually began to settle. Simon certainly wasn’t the only person in the military to suffer from a rather poor childhood riddled with trauma and pain, and his team were kind enough to never push him too far. He would always maintain a slight distance between himself and the rest of the men on his squad, but he was often quick to smile and joke with them, telling what very well could have been the worst “dad jokes” known to man.  

Both Simon and Elanor seemed to revel in the pained groans his terrible jokes could invoke, smiling innocently as if not understanding why everyone was so upset. It wasn’t a surprise to learn that Simon had a younger brother, he certainly had the annoying-older-brother act nailed down perfectly.  

After a few good missions together, Simon was less reluctant to talk about his family with John in the room, discussing what he planned to get his nephew for Christmas, where he wanted to take his mum out for lunch during leave, and how he was going to get Tommy back for getting a stain on his ManU jersey.  

Simon was a good man and a great soldier, and John was disappointed when the time came for him to return to his own unit. John was to travel up north toward Herefordshire and Simon was to meet with some of their American contacts to help root out a cartel down in Mexico.  

Ghost was not the same person as Simon. He had the same daemon, the same brown eyes, but he was not Simon. He lacked the underlying gentleness in his eyes, and he’d grown to be cold and closed off toward everyone around him, friend or foe.  

If Simon’s daemon had been quiet before, she was dead silent now. Liz would trot over to the cat with a slowly wagging tail and try to greet her, but the panther would just look at her, before slinking off to go rejoin her human. It was heartbreaking to see a daemon who had only just started to come out of her shell become so walled off again.  

Sometimes he wouldn’t even see the animal in the same room and couldn’t help wondering where the daemon could have vanished to. Just seeing a daemon so far away from its human sent a shiver down John’s spine whenever he thought about it, his fingers instinctively curling themselves into the soft fur of his own.  

The reports he had seen about what had happened to Simon to create this Ghost, some of them first-hand from Simon’s own therapist, sent his stomach rolling uncomfortably, and the parts about their treatment of Elanor? He had sweat beading his forehead and Liz pulled into his lap. The rough collie did her best to comfort him, but he could feel her own distress at just the thought of such a thing happening.  

It took well over half a year before Ghost and Elanor were comfortable with turning their backs on John and Liz, and several before they were comfortable working alongside them. The Ghost and his daemon worked alone, but John and Liz were gradually, slowly, at the rate of a melting glacier, becoming an exception to the rule.  

This made it particularly difficult when Ghost was introduced to Soap.  

John MacTavish was, and still is, a loud and confident man. He doesn’t tolerate nonsense and will proudly stand behind his own personal morals and beliefs, even if it’s to the detriment of his professional career. He stands for what’s right, regardless of the consequences, and he’s entirely unapologetic of that fact.  

Soap’s daemon, Gwen, is a perfect match for him. A honey badger, just as unconcerned with the thoughts and feelings of others, and entirely fearless, even when up against daemons easily twice her size. They share a fierce aggression that would have most shaking in their boots, and John has seen firsthand even lions fleeing from their warpath.  

To say that Soap was a bit... much... for Ghost would be an understatement. Soap is so openly friendly with every team he works with, both verbally and physically, and his rather emotional responses to things seem to constantly have the masked soldier on edge.  

Since their first meeting, Soap has learned to reign in his emotions and has matured greatly with the help of experience and the guiding hands of more seasoned soldiers. But several years ago, fresh out of SAS selection, he was far too much for a quiet Ghost who could hardly stand having even John working with him at the best of times.  

While their first meeting didn’t exactly go swimmingly, it ended amicably enough since Soap didn’t seem to take Ghost’s reluctance to socialise to heart. Meanwhile, Ghost just appeared glad to have a break from spending time around someone so bright and bubbly, almost immediately vanishing on a solo mission for a week.  

Kyle was a much safer bet for working alongside Ghost. The young man, while inexperienced, was the top of his class and always eager to learn more. He was like a sponge, soaking up every little piece of advice he’s given and doing his best to apply it to his work. He always asks the right questions at the right times, and always thinks on his words before speaking.  

His daemon, a friendly marbled polecat by the name of Milly, was the first daemon Elanor was willing to open up to. She wasn’t insistent like many of the other daemons in the military, providing the panther with plenty of space, but always choosing to sit beside her, greeting her with a happy chirp. These simple greetings were eventually returned with small nods or pleasant rumbles, and over time, and two daemons fell into the rhythm of being at one another’s side.  

Gaz was always seeking out new things to learn and Ghost had plenty to teach. No matter how difficult the lesson, he would always have the determination to see it through to the end, and his mature, competent nature was gradually winning over the stubborn lieutenant. On the rare occasion where Kyle wasn’t with John, he could be confident that Ghost would have the younger man’s back.  

But Gaz brought more than plain professionalism to their team, he also brought the fun, youthful spark that the group had been missing. His sassy remarks during OPs and cheeky behaviour off the field was worming its way under Ghost’s thick skin, and John could see it in the way his lieutenant began to offer banter of his own in return.  

It was like watching a grizzled old dog interacting with a friendly young pup, slowly relearning what it meant to actually enjoy life here and there. Sometimes Ghost still needed that time to be alone with Elanor, but Kyle and Milly were drawing them out of the dark and back into the light again.  

More often than not the two could be found sitting peacefully together, doing nothing but enjoying the company of their fellow brother in arms. Whether it was eating meals together in private where others wouldn’t see Ghost removing part of his mask, running on the track first thing in the morning to wake themselves up, or claiming the bench under the old tree where they could discuss upcoming schedules or laugh at the young recruits just learning to walk, it was all done by each other's side.  

John could see the pride in Ghost’s eyes whenever Gaz managed to get an upper hand on him in training, he could see how Elanor now greeted Milly with a gentle headbutt, how trust was building between them and their team was solidifying into something unbreakable. Gaz was a loyal man, almost to a fault, but he had awarded that loyalty to John and Ghost and, in return, had been given it back tenfold. 

But the team was yet to be complete, and it wouldn’t be, not until John MacTavish joined them.  

John was admittedly still not certain how well Ghost would take to working so closely with Soap after finding the other man a tad overwhelming the first time, but with Liz’s encouragement and seeing how much Ghost was beginning to come out of his shell, he had no choice but to commit to the selection. Soap’s file reported nothing but constant rapid improvement. He was a talented, driven man, and precisely someone John wanted on his new task force.  

The offer was sent out and immediately accepted.  

Soap and Gaz were, understandably, complete menaces. Two young men eager to prove themselves and have a little fun while they’re at it. They’re thick as thieves and both just as determined to inconvenience John as much as possible while dodging reprimands like the plague. “A bunch of children” he’d called them one day, earning a grunt of agreement from Ghost, Liz and Elanor sharing a look of endless suffering. 

As for the relationship between Ghost and Soap, the best John was hoping for was for them to learn to accept one another, even if that was just enough to be able to put their best foot forward during missions. And it worked well enough, until Las Almas happened. Until Sheperd happened. 

Until Simon happened.  

Years of hiding away, and suddenly it wasn’t Ghost standing before him. It was Simon.  

Soap was looking right at him, and Simon was looking right back.  

Something had changed between them. From the report he got from the two soldiers about the events that transpired he couldn’t tell what, but it was clearly something significant. It had changed them from work colleagues to something far more dangerous. A better man would have nipped it in the bud before it had the change to potentially ruin them, but John has never claimed to be a good man, good men don’t last long in their line of work.  

If he and Gaz are a good team, Ghost and Soap are unstoppable.  

When they think he’s not looking, John has caught how Gwen excitedly jumps around Elanor’s body, learning against the dangerous predator and covering her with affectionate licks. More surprising, is how Elanor returns the behaviour, nipping playfully at the badger’s feet and tussling about on the carpet like a pair of kittens.  

It isn’t until he sees Soap’s bare hand brush through Elanor’s fur that he knows the depth of what they are to one another.  

He just hopes he hasn’t made a horrible mistake.  

[percontaion-points]

EatCoD chapter 4

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Click here for the rest of the series!

Chapter 4

“Your dad is Robert, Alpha of the Southeastern White Tooth pack.”

Why did the father only get a name after he was dead?

I scanned the car once more and couldn’t find a single thing that reminded me of home to bring with me.

Wow, it’s almost like she didn’t bring anything with her? And why would Aaron have stuff in HIS car that would remind Liz of HER home?

“That’s because you have a high fever. At least a hundred and seven.”

From google: Numbers that are cause for concern: 105°F – Go to the emergency room.

JFC, get her to a freaking hospital. 

I looked for anything I could use as a weapon.

[...]

Then I noticed a freestanding toilet paper caddy next to the toilet. It had a pointed end, maybe I could use it as a weapon? But what would I do with the toilet paper?

Oh no, think about the poor toilet paper!!

I dressed quickly, silently thanking whoever was in charge of getting me new clothes that they thought to buy a bra and some underwear. Red lace. Hmmm. Kinky. 

Something tells me that the bra isn’t going to be supportive. The kind of bra you wear only to tease your partner in the bedroom.

And honestly, I’d rather go without a bra than have to wear one of those under regular clothes. 

“Elizabeth? Why is the toilet paper caddy in here?”

Just going to leave this right here…

“Did you just call me dude?” Christian put the plate down in front of him and Avery poured the syrup on his pancakes. 

“Dude, nerd, asshole…” 

Avery put the syrup on the other side of his plate, away from Hunter. “Everybody knows that you take all of the syrup. I’d say that would make you the asshole in this room.” He shoved a triangle of pancakes in his mouth.

Oh boy, I can’t wait to read this for the rest of the series. 

SAID NOBODY. EVER. 

“Could I ride on one your backs?” 

Hunter rolled his eyes and a burst of laughter came from Christian. Hunter took the last plate from my hands. “No, you cannot just ride on our backs. We aren’t your pet.” 

Wow. Talk about a reaction. “Sorry, I didn’t realize.” 

“Not yet, anyway.”

Of course somebody makes it weird. 

I’d taken a couple days off at the mortgage company to deal with pack issues but my boss was going to worry if I didn’t come in soon.

I’ve seen enough true crime documentaries to know that somebody at her work is going to call the police. 

In a logical and just world, they’d see the bodies of Liz’s parents (because you KNOW that they wouldn’t have actually done anything with the bodies) and a huge investigation would kick off. 

But this is a shitty reverse harem romance series, so I’m expecting literally none of that.

There was a clawing in my stomach, ripping and shredding my insides, like a wild beast trying to get out.

Chapter 4 summary: Liz is quick to realise that it’s a dragon… and a big one at that. She’s forced to continue on, since the pack is closing in on her, but then the dragon leaves to go fight the wolves. Another car comes from the opposite way, and a man Liz hasn’t seen before is like “You’re Liz right? Your father is Robert, and your mom is Jane, no?” Liz doesn’t want to get into the car with him, but she feels like she has no choice. In there, he introduces himself as Christian, and the driver as Avery; it’s mentioned that the dragon is named Hunter. 

They drive for a really long time, only stopping for gas once. As they drive, Liz starts to feel worse and worse; like her body is on fire. 

When they get to a safe house, Liz tries to bolt. But then Hunter tackles her to the ground, and she passes out. Liz wakes up hours later, and Hunter comes to tell her that she has a fever of 107. He helps her to take an ice bath, but after they’re done, she’s feeling a little better. She finds new clothes in her room. 

Downstairs, the others have made breakfast for her. The boys act like immature toddlers, and end up spraying water everywhere. As they’re cleaning up, and Liz helps with the dishes, she asks them questions about the weredragons. They say that their species is highly endangered, so they keep to themselves. When asked why they can’t come out to the werewolves, they pointedly tell her that the wolves would attack them. 

They also explain to her that the reason why she’s burning up and has a huge appetite is because she’s finally starting to shift. That they’ll remain at this safe house until after her first shift, then they’ll move on to another safe house. Liz obviously wants to train so that she can go back and kick Scarface’s ass. 

They randomly find a stray kitten outside the kitchen door, and Liz wants to keep it. But then she’s overcome with such a huge burst of pain that it’s the only thing she can think about. 

[odinsblog]

Look, we can be glad that Liz Cheney has a useful score to settle with Trump. That’s fine. That’s okay. Trump absolutely needs to be jailed and held accountable for his treason.

But this incessant fawning over a lifelong Republican who—until Trump—has been a-ok with racist, regressive GOP policies for her entire career is a big fucking problem. The Republican Party has been a problem loooong before Trump came along, and it’s precisely how we got here.

Never forget: Liz Cheney, the new (grifter) darling of neoliberals, doesn’t want her pal Ginni Thomas investigated. And Dems will prop her up the same way they prop up Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush.

So this is where centrist Democrats are going with their effusive praise of the Republican who recently voted against the John Lewis Voting Rights Act: funding and backing a Republican - over a mf Democrat. Democratic leadership will stay propping up Republicans, but they wouldn’t bother to piss on a leftist who was on fire.

A “reasonable” Republican wouldn’t vote against Voting Rights. A “reasonable” Republican would want Ginni Thomas to be investigated for her role in the January 6th insurrection. But there is no such animal as a “reasonable” Republican. Stop inviting foxes into the henhouse.

We don’t need a “strong” Republican Party. We need NO Republican Party.

Simply being anti-Trump doesn’t make Republicans saints. JFC, if being anti-Trump is the bar, then the bar isn’t on the floor, it’s at the bottom of the ocean.

God.

The Cheneys were instrumental in stealing the 2000 election and y’all wanna reward her for that shit??

Of course we want Trump to finally pay for his crimes! But just stop it with the effusive praise for Liz Cheney.

[zinzinina]

Sam, here's my Thirst Thots for Delta Squad:

Boss - I think Boss is pretty vanilla, but I know he talks. I just know it. It starts out with him being very out of character and asking you if you're okay like every fives seconds, which is jarring because he's normally Very sure of himself. Once you get past that hurdle, he's babbling and praising you the entire time. You could ask him for anything and he'd give it to you, absolute soft Dom.

Fixer - I feel like Fixer is into sensory deprivation and yeah that one might be a little out there, but something about either of you (he's a switch, baby) wearing his helmet and being unable to see/hear just gets him going. I think it leans into his ability to trust you, and that you'd trust him after all the shit he's done. He's not a bad man, by any stretch, but sometimes those lines get blurred in the field.

Scorch - Scorch likes to be tied up and gagged. I know it's too obvious with his personality, but also it's so right. I just Know It. Cuff him to the headboard and gag him with your panties and watch as he tries to talk around them. He cums hard. 😌💕

Sev - This man gets off on intimacy, literally any kind. Cook for him? He's hard. Taking a bath with him? Suddenly he's fingering you. Cuddling? You already know. It's not that he doesn't respect platonic or non-sexual intimacy, and once he gets used to it he does calm down, he just can't get over the fact that he has This. He never thought he'd have This.

OH MY GOD Liz!

These are all so perfect! Boss had me so soft; he’s such a gruff, commanding dude that you’re so right, as soon as you’re looking after him, he cracks. Total putty. Fixer reminds me a little bit of Tech, I feel like he’d be an overthinker for sure. So sensory deprivation is PERFECT. You’re an actual genius. Imagine that all he can feel is you, and he’s already so overwhelmed but he doesn’t know what you’ll do next and so he can’t analyse it or prepare himself… uh, yeah that fucked me up. Sev… 🥺 please, he deserves some softness. Like, holding hands while you fuck, gazing into each others’ eyes softness… aaaaaaah oh my god.

And then my sweet beloved Scorch, running his cocky mouth, babbling and whining mindlessly away? He totally does it on PURPOSE because he wants you to shove your panties in his mouth. Jfc I’m deceased. (Also you know That video of that guy in the chair with the red tape over his thighs? That’s Scorch.)

These thots were an absolute blessing, ilysm oh my god x

[meetmeatthecoda]

Hi Coda, how are you doing?

So the other day, I was just about to fall asleep when I remember something from TBL.

Do you remember the painting sent to Red in “Drexel”? The painting of Elizabeth standing over Red’s grave? And she looks like she’s turning into dust, or something (I don’t know how to interpret her hand)?

Red asked the broker guy “Where’s Rostova?” and they mentioned a “she”.

So my question is, do you think it was Katarina/Tetiana (I don’t remember how to write her name) who sent it? I mean, Elizabeth’s search about her mother wasn’t really intense, then, if I remember correctly. And why would she send it to him?

Thank you for your time and sorry for the long text.

Hi there, dear anon, I'm well, thank you so much for asking!! 🤗 How are you?? I hope you're doing fantastic ❤️ In regards to your ask, I DO remember that painting - but only since you mentioned it. I confess to completely forgetting about it up until now 😂 But you're asking some great questions & making some great points!! Tbh, I think this is just yet another thing to disprove the Helltheory. If R*darina were true, how tf could Katarina send the painting to Red? And if it was the imposter!Katarina (sidenote: I can't even properly express how fucking exhausted I am with all the imposter bullshit/familial wheel of fortune crap on this stupid show, like... aren't y'all tired??? jfc anyway) whose name is Tatiana, I believe?? That doesn't check out either bc Red knew she was in Paris didn't he?? Or at least he did shortly after that?? So why would he be asking where she was?? Wasn't he supposed to know bc that was the whole point of him protecting her in hiding or something?? And I think you're right, anon, I don't remember what season this one-appearance painting was in, especially in relation to imposter!Katarina's first appearance & Liz's Mad Mother Revenge Hunt 2020, but I def don't think it was in the same arc?? Soooooo wtf??? And yes, the "why" of it all is a big ??? too (especially given that they never addressed it again lolz) bc even if it was imposter!Katarina being pissed about the archive or whatever (??? wtf idek) what does that have to do with taunting Red about Liz being his death?? Especially when that didn't even end up coming true lmfaooooo Idk, anon, you make a great point in bringing it up again!! But I can't make any sense of it, at least not at this late/early hour lmfao I think it's just yet another casualty/proof of the retcon of R*darina IF they even end up going with that next season... not that I'll be around for it either way. Buttttttt it's a shit show so 🙃 I'm sorry for the rambling & nonsensical answer, anon, I've unfortunately never been much good at making sense of this show LOL but thank you so much for this ask!! (And don't apologize for the length!! 😊) I invite any other frustrated Lizzington shippers to chime in here in case I'm just a big idiot (likely) & we'll see if we can come to a better consensus, but in the meantime - thanks again & much, much love to you, dear anon!! ❤️

[certifiedceraunophile]

Hello! I’m your Klaroline Swap gifter👀 I am sorry it's taken me this long to reach out but I've finally gotten to it! I am excited to be writing for you and wanted to ask a few questions about your gift. Wanted to know about your all-time favorite tropes and side pairings? Any Caroline friendships you like? Any tropes or pairings you don't like? Any pet peeves with KC fic? Any smut preferences? Anything you especially want to see or any info you'd like me to know? Hope you have a great day!💖

Heyyy!! Thank you for sending me this ask, and please don't apologize, it’s all good 💖 I hope you're having a great day too! So I’ll just jump in and answer all your questions ✌🏾✨

I am so so sorry it got this long, like so long, I really tried to condense it, but I have no concept of short and concise so now I have to put this below a cut 😭🙃😭

All time favourite tropes:

[see here's the thing I dont exactly *know* what tropes are so I'm just gonna yeet a bunch of HIGHLY specific prompt-thingies that make me tingle at you and you can do w them what you wish- like take out certain parts you want to use, or base other tropes off of them anything you wish really, even if you choose to ignore all of them I won't be holding it against you dw!]

Ok so I love love the "I was just captured by the bad guys and very harshly uh demanded to sell you out, but I didnt, bc even though I might posture like you’re the scourge of the earth and would gladly see you dead, I in fact, do not want you dead and will therefore not be selling you out and will handle mild -emphasis on mild please do not hurt either of my babies too much- torture instead and oops! look at that, you just overheard this exact exchange where I stand my ground and refuse to betray you, and now you’ve gone feral over your loyalty kink and are spouting promises of never letting go of me, which honestly I cannot bring myself to be mad at."

I love love love the forced bedsharing trope which then leads to accidental cuddling, where one party [caroline] is just very very annoyed that their body sought the warmth of a cockroach fucknugget being [klaus] and the fucknugget party is just very very smug about being the other party's personal space heater, and nuzzles them and cuddles tighter and asdfghjkl I'm getting tingly just thinking about it, and like says w a husky sleepy voice “don't move” and cuddles closer. jfc please I’m a basic bitch with very basic wants.

I absolutely LOVE the "we work on opposite enemy sides, but now we have to band together to defeat one common enemy and honestly I am NOT glad that I constantly wanna throw you against a wall, and not all reasons for said wall-throwing are strictly to inflict violence on you."

I also LOVE the "fuck youre bleeding/hurt/injured and fucking hell I dont know why my hands are shaking while I attend to your wounds but god it is, and now I'm not sure exactly how deep you've furrowed into my heart and stuck yourself there like a dickheaded leech."

Now I feel like I have given you many tropes, but I also feel like i didnt in fact help you at all, bc I'm not sure these are uh tropes?? but anyway those are some highly specific...scenes?? I have a very deep bias for

[you obviously dont HAVE to write ANY of them if you dont want to]

And also if I had to give you a clear cut trope to follow, I absolutely LOVE the enemies-to tentative allies-to lovers trope, in which one party is just working really really hard to get to the lovers part, and the other is working really really hard not to get to the lovers part, but caves later on, bc really the fucker grows on you. [Featuring Klaus as the "high key besotted already pursuing Caroline"-person, and Caroline is the "I am very very annoyed w this wooing, but I am more annoyed this wooing is working"-person. And also, I like my Klaus E V I L, But really really really *soft* for Caroline.]

Also if by tropes you meant settings, Like AU's, literally anything works, I have a personal bias for Crime AU's when it comes to enemies to lovers, and Canon is the ultimate enemies to lovers AU, but honestly you can use which ever one you want, I am not entirely sure myself if I have a specific preference here, AH, Fantasy, Supernatural, Scifi, it's all good.

[I however am not extremely fond of Historical Settings]

Again you are not required to follow any of these tropes at all if you don't wish to, I just require you to have a lot of fun writing and love the beauty you write yourself first!

Side pairings:

Ok I LOVE me some Kennett [kol + bonnie] but I also LOVEEE kolenzo [Kol and Enzo], I also am extremely just *heart eyes* at Bonenzo [Bonnie + enzo], but I absolutely DIE for Kennettzo [which is OT3 of Kol Bonnie and Enzo]

Kalijah is also a-ok w me, and I feel like I dont have any other side pairings I'd like die to see I guess. If you choose not to go with these side pairings its perfectly alright.

Caroline Friendships:

Ok this I can answer without rambling like an idiot, I love love love love :

Bonnie + Caroline [like i love this so much it physically hurts me, they both deserve so so so much better]

Kol + Caroline [I will literally touch a frog, and I have a phobia of frogs, to have one full conversation w these two idiots]

Enzo + Caroline [Honestly enzoline brotp makes me wanna sob happy tears bc they are so perfect together]

Katherine + Caroline + Rebekah [bad bitch meets head bitch meets super bitch, what could possibly go wrong]

Tropes and Pairings I dont like:

NOTPS:

Kolvina, stebekah, delena, stelena, datherine, steferine, Haylijah, Marcel+Rebekah, Matt+Rebekah, Bamon, Kai+bonnie, beremy.

And I think that's about it? mostly I just hate elena stefan damon and hayley and I am not fond of them w anyone, I hate all canon Rebekah relationships, and I dont like seeing Bonnie with anyone other than enzo or kol.

Tropes:

I am totally not fond of the Kill Liz for plot reasons trope, like seriously killing Caroline's mom is not ok w me, but I am totes fine if she's like already dead as part of Caroline's backstory, just don't show me Liz dying in the story as a part of the plot.

Any form of sire-bond-y or like sire-bond adjacent or like any form of deal/bargain/agreement that gives Klaus even a tiniest bit of power over Caroline's free will and choices, is just not for me, like at all, no matter how well it's done, I can't stand it.

not fond of any form of prisoner/hostage tropes, like klaus kidnapping caroline or caroline kidnapping klaus and holding each other hostage and stuff like that.

Death as a plot point doesnt work for me? and really I'd prefer if there were no major character deaths at all.

Friends to lovers trope is not for me, childhood friends to lovers trope is definitely not for me.

I don't like any sort of redemption arc really, anything that starts with Klaus as a “bad” dude and ends with him being a relatively “good” dude is not for me.

Any form of infidelity, like ofc especially in between Klaus and Caroline is just [shudder] hard pass, but like I also hate it when Caroline or Klaus cheat on anybody at all.

Also all the tropes and like themes I'm not comfy w that I mentioned in my original Gift Request still stand.

KC Pairing Pet peeves

ok This I can answer easily bc I have like a FEW,

I hate a woobified Klaus so much, like so much, I hate all TO!Klaus characterizations but this one is the worst, absolutely not here for it, I am not here to feel sorry for this mf I want to feel really deliriously GIDDY at how evil he is and how whipped he is for Caroline, but like concentrating on Klaus's manpain is not something I really wanna read.

Caroline excusing Klaus's bullshit, or like being a push over-y “it's ok, I understand why you did it” person is not for me, bc she never was one to begin w, she never did rationalize or justify Klaus's behaviour, she always held him accountable and told him what a difficult son of a bitch he is every chance she got.

I don't like arcs where Caroline is Klaus's redemption? like Caroline bringing Klaus into the "light" or whatever I am not here for it, like at all, I like Klaus staying evil while being endlessly in love with Caroline, and Caroline being able to be w a man she knows is a selfish evil ruthless grade A asshole, but will literally also choke himself to death for Caroline, cuz the man is whipped as fuck.

I also absolutely am not a fan of arcs where like Caroline remains "pure" or whatever, like that's just not for me, I am totally fine, actually MORE than fine for ruthless Caroline who is willing to do deplorable shit to get to her goal and protect her people, like Caroline being extremely almost evilly pragmatic just gives me a boner, and pretty sure gives Klaus one too. Klaus "protecting" Caroline's so called innocence is uh off putting for me personally. And her remaining this pure white light princess of good and Klaus being attracted to the *good* in her is um, nope.

Smutty Preferences

Honestly I’m very easy when it comes to smut [and u totally dont have to write me any if you dont want to]

I do not like:

non con/dub con, anal sex, Strict and/or elaborate Bdsm themes, [light undertones are ok], drunk sex, sex that’s basically infidellity [like caroline/klaus cheating on someone else w each other] , gagging, choking, Extremely rough emotionless sex, sex as a bargain, or as a part of a bargain.

Smut preferences:

I like reading oral sex, especially Klaus going down on Caroline

light bondage like being tied up [either Klaus/Caroline I enjoy both]

Sex toys are really really good, like love reading Klaus using one on Caroline, or Caroline using one on herself and Klaus watching

I do have a special love for praise kink, especially Klaus being really just in awe of Caroline during the do and expressing it uninhibitedly

Dirty Talk is GREAT

I enjoy both Klaus and Caroline in a dominant role, but I usually love it when both of them share the dominance equally, I’m just not into “Yes master” and “Yes mistress” level of dominance. I guess the word I’m looking for is Vanilla dominance lmao.

Bloodplay is also great if they're vampires.

And Klaus and Caroline leaving marks on each other is *swoon*.

I love reading possessive!klaus and possessive!caroline in equal measure so really your choice.

Hot and Dirty sex with a an undercurrent of emotion and devotion, want and need and all that nice stuff is great!

But I do have a list of words I’m not really a big fan of coming across when I’m reading smut:

Any word for vagina that’s not wetness, or folds or lips, is squicky, cunt is not a problem, pussy however is squick.

Clit is clit; little nub, bundle of nerves, all of that makes the med student in me really anxious lmao.

Any word for Cock that’s not cock is squick.

Juices, cream, semen are squicky, I just prefer come or release.

Ok these are seemingly innocent words but moist, engorged, gaping, drooling, sopping are not words I like seeing in context of smut.

So yeah that’s about it, I know hi, it’s been what, eleventy bajillion years since the beginning of this ask, I am so so so sorry for being this difficult, and really, LIKE SERIOUSLY, except for my squicks you are more than welcome to just skip past everything else, since I’m not really that hard to please, as long as the no-no’s are not there in what I read and the dynamic I asked for is even just vaguely followed I will be really really really happy and really I just want you to have fun writing whatever you feel like cooking up, I’m superrrr excited to see your interpretation of my request!!!

[Also Please please send me another ask clarifying you got my answer and also telling me I haven't frightened you with this long ass rambling list of okay’s and no-no’s bc honestly I am just anxiously debating if I should answer this ask like this or yeet half of it and vaguely rewrite the answer.]

Hope you have a great day lovely!! I am once again sorry for being this difficult. ✨💖🤝🏾

[ober-affen-geil]

My Roswell Rewatch liveblog

Episode 2x13 AKA What The Actual Hell And Fuck

*surrounded by fire* “it’s hot” NO SHIT LIZ

what does it look like kyle lmao

how long did it take to get maria to the hospital?

lmao @ liz i think she agrees with her sister about “bitchass aliens”

GO OFF GREG

ok but forreal what does clay do why does he not count

SIDE NOTE BTW I’M FOREVER DED ABOUT THE FACT THAT THEY RESOLVED EVERY CLIFFHANGER FROM LAST EPISODE BEFORE THE OPENING I STG

liz fangirling over other science people

ok wait what surgery, what could they have done all her organs were melting

HE CARES MY HEART FUCK

max bb

ISOBEL NO SWEETHEART AW

siblingsssssss brb sobbing

god this scene fuck when michael hands him the hammer and gives that little encouraging nod fuck me up

don’t do it liz

“run away with me max evans?” “anywhere” *GROSS SOBBING*

 “i mean of course” ALEX WTH WHAT DO YOU MEAN “OF COURSE”

cam i love you

also max, michael takes better mug shots

MY HEART GODDAMMIT FUCK THIS HURTS

i really need to know why they sweat glitter and they don’t now is that an atmosphere thing?

UAGH

kyle bb

side note i do really like her comforter

that color is gorgeous on diego

LMAO CAM

what is wrong with max

ruh ro

in love with nora’s dress

so they were building the prison for jones?

uh oh

“you look like me” HAHAHAHAHA

siblingsssss

so they got jones into the prison the day of the raid?

THEY’RE SO SOFT AUGH

june 14, 1997 we have a date 

love the bachlorette party victim in the drunk tank

AUGH SIBLINGS FUCK

ok lowkey this is funny because isobel and michael are RIGHT THERE and isobel loves drama hahahaha

max don’t do it

YAS ROSA

god sibling moments are killing me here fuck

aw kyle and alex. bb

BREAK A LEG ALEX

fuck oh no

the look on kyle’s face when he saw the empty bed, my heart

lmao isobel and drama is my new ship

GREG IF YOU MAKE ME CRY I STG

alex you and michael with “a long time ago” like you weren’t in bed with each other within the last year jfc you’re both disasters

“i know i’ve done it” ROSA YOU ARE SO METAL I LOVE YOU

michael being 1000% done hahaha

did liz just drive all night? does she not drive by day like a normal person?

don’t do itttttt

tho do love this moment

their FACES

woof that ending

[kiss-my-freckle]

Bear with me on this rewatch. I kinda thought this episode was boring, but it had quite a few seeds for Rederina along with parallels and foreshadowing.

8x5 Rewatch: Fribourg Confidence

I’m gonna start off with Anne, since everyone is commenting about her. You basically have to follow his conversation with Vlad because she pushes Red back to 5x22 soundtracks. A simple follow along....

Dembe: Where are you going? Red: Clear my head, get some air.

Red: Bird watching is more than just birds, Cvetko. It's seeing ourselves in connection with the world in which we live.

♪ I don't know where I belong No I don't know But I've been hanging on For too long 'Cause no one really knows me, at all ♪ --Nobody Knows by Autograf

Red: Do we know each other? Anne: I don't believe so. Should I know you? Red: No, no, no. I was just curious if we'd ever met. Anne: I'm Anne. Red: Raymond. Anne: Well, now we've met. Red: Yes.

Red went to get some air. "She's in the very air you breathe." I'm expecting a resurrection for Katarina Rostova. 

♪ You're on your own In a world you've grown Few more years to go Don't let the hurdle fall So be the girl you loved Be the girl you loved ♪ --Retrograde my James Blake

The world in which Red lives. He’s an old bird now.  

How did he get here? Abe talking about his daughter. Rederina all through it.

Alina: Like father like daughter.

Like mother like daughter.

Red: I didn't know you had a daughter. Abe: I did once. But not anymore.      Zoe: The two of you close?      Red: It's complicated.

Abe: Jennifer and I are estranged. Now, I - I got those photos from her mother.      Dom: I had to make do with photographs of Masha.

Abe: She and I agreed that Jen should live with her so she could have a life, a good life. An honest life.      Red: God willing, Katarina's daughter will live a private life of quiet courage. Abe: But if you're right that my baby's a thief, go ahead. You may as well kill me now, 'cause I ain't got nothing to live for.       Dom: You said it, chum. Look around here. You call this living?  After I lost my daughter… I crawled… crawled into the wilderness like a mortally wounded animal to get as far away from the pack as I could, to… to run out the clock. Run out the clock and die. And If you came for a survival manual, you won’t find it here. 

Abe: I never wanted this life for her.      Red: I never wanted you to be.... like me.   

Red: She's the first thing you think of every morning.      Red: And every day, when you wake up, it will be the first thing you think about. Until one day, it will be the second thing.

Abe: Which is why I thought it best to stay away from her, even after I got out of prison. I cut ties. You can't imagine how hard that is.      Dom: I loved that girl enough to let her go, which is more than you can say.

Red: For the purposes of this conversation, let's assume I can.      Liz: I don’t know. With Reddington, I don’t assume anything.

Abe: Until one day, I walked back in. Not to be with her, you know, not to talk. Just... Just to see her.      Kate: You can’t just stroll into her life after all these years. This is a mistake.

Abe’s girl.

Abe: Raymond, lay this at my feet, not at Jennifer's. She's just a kid. My girl. Red: Your girl. Abe: My baby girl.

Red’s girl. 

Katarina: Take care of my girl, Sam.

Red: That's my girl.

And Ressler's, of course.

Red: Agent Ressler, how's our girl?

Yet he allowed the woman from Paris to stake claim. 

The Woman: Me? I’m her mother. 

Yet he allowed Tom to stake claim in the backseat in 5x8. 

Tom: Liz, my Liz.

If Red can’t be Liz’s mother, then Liz can’t be Red’s daughter. Period. It cuts both ways. Alina and her dialogue. “The whole thing's sort of a double-edged sword, isn't it?” Yeah. That’s why this war won’t last. Liz is destroying both of them. 

Some foreshadowing....

Abe: Now, wait... I told her that you were off-limits. I did, Raymond. Red: I flew 15 hours so I could look you in the eye and tell you what I told Rakitin - Elizabeth Keen is off limits. Sikorsky: And I asked you to fly here so I could look you in the eye and tell you I agree. For now. 

Face value. “Look at our faces, your wife dies."

I like that they've got the husband sleeping with a pink mask just like his wife's, then they do a mirror shot like they do all the time for Rederina. Their Cape May hits are heavy in this episode. I have to wonder, given their references, if Red is gonna realize what's going on with Liz because of their Cape May- Ruin parallel. Funny too, given the way they opened this episode, the soundtrack. She wants to be your James Bond. "Are you telling me, like, what... Like, you think that I murdered a KGB defector, like I'm Bond? I'm Tom Bond, and I just, uh... between social studies and recess, I go around assassinating people. I had my job interview there, Liz, at the coffee shop." The woman who's acting just like her dead husband. The bird robber masks. And Red ends up birdwatching. They steal nothing but the flashdrive even though the box has stacks of cash. "Hey. It's me. Call Reddington. Tell him we got a problem." Yeah.... her name is Tom Bond. Red talking to Carl about how he overestimated his abilities. This hits back to Kate's arc. "As you well know, one of the keys to my success is a clear and consistent understanding of my own limitations. So often people overestimate themselves, misapply their gifts." Then the Hunter telling Red what Kate said to him. "She said you'd do this - understimate her."

“Hello, Peter.”

"Whoever robbed you knew where to look, and they didn't learn it from me. So... with all due respect, if there was a failure of security, it wasn't on my end."

Red technically failed Elizabeth. I was considering the note further. “Hello.” A nice hit to Cape May, but someone on Facebook pointed out a better parallel. Red dropping into Peter’s golden parachute, then dropping him from his plane. It sent my mind in so many directions. Howard faking his death with his plane. Red talking to Smokey about the difference between flying and falling. Atticus and Red sitting and watching the birds. Would you like to fly? I know I would. I think Liz plans to kill Red, but that plan will switch and something is gonna drop through her skylight. Add in Alina’s comment. "Drop the Mr. Wilke BS, and you might be home in time for dinner." Because it also parallels Peter. “Looks like we'll be able to drop you off in time for dinner.” As well as Tom in their Redemption pilot. Scripts for the spinoff are gone, so I can’t find the exact dialogue for that. 

The very theme of this season is "finding" Liz. Because Red "lost" her. It's all a push back to her S2 memory wipe. That's why no one is supposed to find her until they actually find her as they’re supposed to. As I've been saying, she's reversing from Rassvet. That’s why part of me thinks the necklace in Red’s box might be purposeful. Red found Katarina, his former self in Cape May. Maybe Liz will find her former self in a Ruin parallel. I'm thinking perhaps that’s why they can’t get to Liz. Why they’re not supposed to. Liz has to find herself, and she’s doing it in this direction because fate wants her to. I’m gonna laugh if Liz goes from Red's deposit box, and the mark pushes her back to Tom's deposit box. That's where she found the envelope with the mark and her picture of Red at Sam's hospital. She's not Keen, she's Milhoan. Even possible Liz realizes Red is her mother while finding herself. I've often considered the idea of Liz learning Red's truth, and keeping it from the audience until the end of the series. Like perhaps she actually learns to keep a secret. At any rate, I think Liz will be “found” eventually. It’s all about that second memory wipe. 

Red: Then she's gone. The thumb drive with her.  Dembe: What will she do with it? Red: Nothing good. 

The Freelancer: What does she need me to do? Skip: For now? Nothing. "You got caught in the rain..." The Freelancer: "And need to dry off."

Liz: Your daddy just always taught me to be ready for a rainy day. Agnes: But it's not raining. Liz: Aren't you too smart for your own good?

Again, the hit to Tom’s go-box in Liz’s vent. Talk about dialogues. You can see their direction. She gave the thumb drive to Cooper, and I’m all but guessing Alina will be repaying Red next week by recovering it. Quid pro quo. I think The Freelancer was Liz’s mistake, and they’ve hidden the danger he presents under their Sikorsky thumb drive storyline. Continue following along because Red is genuinely pissed and terrified at the same time lol...

Cooper: I suppose you also think that she's responsible for The Freelancer's release, which now that we're here and she's not, is guaranteed to happen. Red: I think she's not only responsible for it, I think it's what she wants. Cooper: That's absurd. Red: One day, Elizabeth steals millions of dollars from me, and next, The Freelancer has a brand-new expensive attorney demanding his release unless Elizabeth Keen magically appears in court. That doesn't strike me as absurd, Harold. That strikes me as unsettling.

Very unsettling. Liz had The Freelancer locked away in prison for 7 seasons, and Red just worried about Marvin betraying him for doing 3 years. jfc lol

Red: But before then - I fear she may do something that she can never recover from. And of all the tragedies that you and I have experienced together, that would be the most tragic. We have to do - do everything in our power to prevent that from happening.

Exactly what Red was talking about with Cooper at the end of 8x3. Her doing something she won't be able to recover from. The Freelancer will kill 60 people just to hide one murder. Liz just put Agnes in danger. Perhaps the point of Marvin’s set up. To show Liz’s naïveté" in the criminal world. Forget about the thumb drive... it’s The Freelancer Red worries about. 

Cooper's hypocrisy. He lost Liz first after Aram already let her escape the post office. "And, Agent Ressler, let's keep this an internal matter. We can notify Reddington once Keen's safe and in our custody." Giving Red all reason not to share his intel. "So now you want my help. Harold has a unique definition of - halfsies. Tell him that I don't recognize anyone in the photos and that the next time he has actionable intel, I expect him to share it with me before it's squandered, not after."  Sigh.... Cooper telling Panabaker everything after what he did in Kuwait. Shit is gonna fly. 

Aram is getting better in the field, so there’s that. Their hit back to Garrick’s episode with Red’s story about handwriting. A Rederina hit with the handwriting. Rederina hits all over the place. Rederina with their Cape May hits, the Cape May warbler and Red’s Cape May id. The leader was a woman lol. Yeah... Red leads, they follow, but I think it’s funny Panabaker believes otherwise. “You don't find many swans swimming in the sewer.” How long will 41 million last Liz? The robber woman was paid 1.5 million. The coffee cups are getting insane at this point. All throughout. That’s what Tom’s dream scenario started with. 

Basically, I’m expecting something serious to drop through Liz’s skylight and for Agnes to get hit... two things I’ve been predicting since S5 and S6. 

Red: Under the greenwood tree, who loves to lie with me, and turn his merry note unto the sweet bird's throat. Cvetko: Nice rhyme. Red: Shakespeare thought so.

Red leaving his criminal empire behind for just a moment in a peaceful world. Becoming one with the birds, Anne chirping along with them. Red doesn’t get much time to sing... unless he’s torturing someone in the woods for a name in S3, then breaking out in campfire song. 

[vespertine-legacy]

(“slow burn” in Sith), a playlist for Mena and Jaesa being goddamn idiots about their Feelings™, track list with explanations under the cut.

In My Veins - Andrew Belle [god, these two, they’ve got it bad from the moment Jaesa looks at Mena’s heart] Oh you're in my veins And I cannot get you out Oh you're all I taste At night inside of my mouth Oh you run away 'Cause I am not what you found

Fire Breather - LAUREL [Jaesa, watching Mena fuck around with Quinn] I just don't know, he's beautiful Maybe he shines a little more than me No, it's too much, burn my sun Up in flames we go, you fire breather

Hollow Body Weather - Field Division [Mena is Jaesa’s lighthouse, but Jaesa is the voice in the dark for her, even if she doesn’t know it yet] Took my hand And led me through the crowds The only sound for miles Your soothing voice, I remember now

Sleep Baby Sleep - Broods [Spending the night together after the Quinncident] The beauty of this mess is that it brings me close to you I could be the one to give you all that I am With a gentle touch and a foolish love You could be the one to carry all my troubles away With the words you say, all I need to hear so

Shadows of My Name - Emma Ruth Rundle [Mena doesn’t have regrets, exactly, but there’s something] I lay back in salt Please forgive my name I won’t speak at all Just to sing again What you've gone and done

Make This Go On Forever - Snow Patrol [Mena realizing that she has Feelings™ and trying to tell those feelings to knock it the fuck off] Please don't let this turn into something it's not I can only give you everything I've got I can't be as sorry as you think I should But I still love you more than anyone else could

Distrust - Ailbhe Reddy [also on “kill your betrayer,” lol gdi] [Jaesa to Mena while Mena is being a shit to Jaesa and trying to shut her feelings down] I'm not a mistake Hurts when you talk that way And I'm not a waste Time it takes to fuck this up The distaste distrust

Beautiful Hell - Adna [Jaesa processing Mena being distant] I wonder how a gap can feel this much How a gap can feel like something this big

Until the Levee - Joy Williams [This is a smart way to deal with pain. Don’t worry, Mena, Jaesa will help you with breaking that levee if you won’t let it break on its own. :D] I'm gonna stand here in the ache Until the levee on my heart breaks I'm gonna wait out past the shadows And breathe the bitter taste I'm gonna drink the lonely down

Wicked Game - Gemma Hayes [Jaesa at the end of “beacon”] What a wicked game to play to make me feel this way What a wicked thing to do to let me dream of you What a wicked thing to say you never felt this way

Waiting Game - BANKS [Jaesa is touch-starved] I'm thinking it over The way you make me feel all sexy but it's causing me shame I wanna lean on your shoulder I wish I was allowed, but I don't wanna cause any pain And if I'm feeling like I'm evil, we've got nothing to gain

Sirens - Fleurie [kind of hate the tempo/beat, but love the lyrics for Jaesa] Hey are you listening, I cannot reach you I'm on the other side, trying to break through I can hear the sirens

Frail Love - CLOVES [Jaesa finally getting brave enough to say, “look, maybe I’m an idiot, but I love you, and I need to hear that you love me too.”] I understand you thinking and know Our lies are better than the truth | And I can't live it like I'm living I can't wait up nights So tell me once and it's enough Forgive me for my frail love

Make Up Your Mind - Florence + The Machine [jfc this one is also on “kill your betrayer’ but it’s fucking perfect for both of them] [Jaesa is probably not gonna give an actual ultimatum, but she is getting real tired of being hurt] Make up your mind Let me leave or let me love you While you've been saving your neck I've been breaking mine for you

I Don’t Want to Change Your Mind - Damien Rice [Jaesaaaaa ;-;] Wherever you go Well, I can always follow I can feed this real slow If it's a lot to swallow And if you just want to be alone Well, I can wait without waiting If you want me to let this go Well, I'm more than willing

Blue Blood - LAUREL [Mena, you idiot, please just fucking feel things] You made me feel again Made me dance circles 'round the pieces of your heart You made me feel again After the last time, didn't think that I could love

Rescue My Heart - Liz Longley [Mena remains an idiot, but like, at least eventually she’s gonna let Jaesa love her] I can't breathe any faster All the air I wanna capture It's heavy and it hurts my head If you found me Would you save me? If you touch me would it break me Will I come back from this?

[quinnmorgendorffer]

12, 18, 25, 29, & 43 for the top 5 asks

thank you!

Top 5 LGBTQ+ characters

Woah boy ummmm leaving out characters that aren’t confirmed but totally ARE a part of the community (looking at you Quinn Morgendorffer and Michelle Mallon and Blair and Jo from TFOL and so many more)

Valencia Perez from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, obvi

Gob Bluth from Arrested, also obvi

I can’t not say Kurt Hummel from the show y’all know

Alex Danvers from Supergirl (I haven’t watched since early s2 but I followed her coming out arc and like cried)

Megan from But I’m a Cheerleader

Top 5 characters I most relate to

Quinn Morgendorffer from Daria 

David Rose from Schitt’s Creek - I will never get over how the games night thing was the most seen I’ve ever been in a show

Frasier Crane - and I hate everything about myself for that being accurate and true

Rebecca Bunch from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Liz Lemon from 30 Rock

Top 5 ships

This constantly changes and I’ll boost that I have even more here but uh...

Ron/Hermione from Harry Potter are forever and always my number one OTP

Gob Bluth/Tony Wonder from Arrested Development (HUUUUGE SHOCKER, I KNOW!)

......I’m always gonna have a place in my heart for Puckurt, even though I feel myself cutting my old g/lee ties more and more every day (having a new hyperfixation helps tbh)

Barney/Robin from How I Met Your Mother - too bad that finale never aired, right? : - )

Harry/Ginny from Harry Potter - I am a simple woman who normally ends up shipping canon ships I’m sORRY

Top 5 family relationships

I’m guessing we’re just doing this, like, most interesting, right?? For my own sake I’m not doing found families because it’s one of my fave tropes but would make this so much harder to narrow down. Even now I’m struggling because I have so many opinions on family relationships okay particularly sibling ones

The Bluths - weirdest fucking family, so fun to watch, some of the most realistic sibling moments I’ve seen (minus the incestuous jokes jfc a;lsfdkajsdf)

The Roses (Schitt’s Creek) - seeing them grow has been so great and I’m so sad this show is ending

The Morgendorffers (Daria) - Particularly the sibling growth between Daria and Quinn. I get so emotional when Quinn says what she says in “Lucky Strike” I just…:’)

The Hammonds (Santa Clarita Diet) - FUCK YOU, NETFLIX

The Cranes (Frasier) - I just can’t get enough of the dynamic of the Crane boys

Top 5 theories

I've got a theory - it could be bunnies

Bunnies aren’t just cute like everyone supposes! They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses

And what’s with all the carrots?! Why do they need such good eyesight for anyway???

Bunnies, bunnies, it must be bunnies!

…Or maybe midgets

Sorry lol I don’t really watch TV shows or movies that have strong theory fodder? We had some for Arrested but most of them were dashed lol um my one big one is I feel like on The Society, the parents knew they would have to pay the price of their children? Idk that’s the vibe I get

TV Show/Movie Asks!

[stargate365]

[SGA] 1.01: Rising (1/2)

To quote, ironically, the Disney movie Atlantis, "I'm so excited"

Pretty ship. Pretty city.. what? She’s being left behind? Not fair!

Snow globe!!! Ok research base, but I’m calling it a snow globe

Liz! Hi Liz!! Rodney!! Rodney is adorable.

Why is Dr Beckett afraid of... oh, okay, fair enough

Daniel!! My love!! Lol, wandering off like they knew they should follow him

...eight symbols?? Like when Jack went to Othala? 

Daniel is having a needgasm.

Who is pilot, he sound interesting . He likes Antarctica

Lol. Beckett sounds like Bones; Rodney is stubborn af I love him

Oops. Glowing squid on the loose. “What did I do?”

Wow. Pilot has some mad skills. Lol Jack, what do you think you were gonna do with that hand? Jacks expression is like “jfc. I thought I was done with this shit.” Lol. We have a name! John! I like this John!

“Don’t touch anything” he says... wonder how long it’ll last.

“So you’re the one?” Lol. John is a grumpy kitten. Dr Beckett is panicking.

Lol. Poor John. “The what?” Bless. He will learn.

Pffft. That face. “What are the odds” he says. Whelp.

“I said don’t touch anything.” “I... I just sat down.” Pfft. Rodney is such an opportunist. Sorry Jack, Liz wants John.

Liz, this is not how we break up with people.

John looks so confused. Like where did all these people come from? 

“Jack, it’s not too late—“ “No.” “I could just grab my—“ “no.” 

What are the odds that Daniel has his bags packed and ready to go in a storage closet??

"I didn’t touch anything” pfft. poor John

“We’re underwater” lol, yah think??

Rodney is a drama queen, yes, but he’s also not wrong.

Time to dumb it down for the Colonel.

Lol. Rodney, no. We don’t need to do that here.

thats a lot of boxes... but how is it enough food and equipment for like 100+ people for a whole damn year? somebody done goofed there.

maybe its all in the hallways, and the scientists moved their shit out of the way?

holy shit, no, do not shoot the children.

yes, totally, yes we are totally traders. see us here, with nothing to trade except the air.

Lol. These kids. Pretty much asking John if he lives under a rock.

This Teyla amuses me, she clearly knows Sumner is an idiot.

John’s introduction. I love it!!

“Guess it’s just you and me... and him.”

Lol. John... such a gracefull descent.

The Wraith sound like douchebags.

5 generations... so her people only became nomadic about 125 years ago... assuming the city was abandoned after the “last great holocaust”

this is creepy af. where did the ships comes from? did they jinx it??

Teyla?? Where did you go?

That... is awfully... holy shit shit shit. That arm is creepy af.

“Who are all these people?” “I am Jinto” “Yes, she is please to meet you.”

We are... we are Rising!!

Atlantis feels the sun once more!!

[sunshinemossboy]

which is your fav ahs season

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME I CAN'T DECIDE????!!

I'm just gonna be extra as hell and list my pros and cons... get ready for a long ass answer sorrynotsorry you're dealing with a writer here:

Murder House

just gonna say it - overrated

I do appreciate it because it sparked the rest of AHS

created some iconic characters

in hindsight, at least Tate is better than Kai

still a really good concept

a bit boring at times though

Jessica Lange is fucking superb

lowkey started trend of Lily Rabe's characters either dying or already being dead and me no likey that so much

Francis Conroy talking about men is always great but I liked the more subtle hints to her speeches this time

Asylum

LANA BANA BO BANA BANANA FANA FO FANA FE FI MO MANA, LANA

Sarah Paulson and Lily Rabe were ICONIC in this season holy fckin christ

so was Jessica Lange

and Zachary Quinto

basically the characters had really good like writing and rounding out and such

but wtf was with the alien subplot??

some damn good writing

while I do not approve of Sister Mary Satan raping the monsignor I can never get "There was a priest, the dirty beast, his name was Alexander. His mighty dick was inches thick, he called it Salamander" out of my head

Jude and Kit at the end was so sweet

Coven

honestly at times bit off more than they could chew with the subplots, not all of those were really resolved

Jessica Lange somehow even more iconic

same with Kathy Bates and Angela Bassett, what QUEENS

Foxxay

seriously both Misty and Cordelia are adorable on their own, and together I just can't handle it

STEVIE NICKS

the music in this season provokes an emotional response from me

"Can we please not move things? Some of us are blind!"

*stuffs bagels into bag* "Who's takin me home?"

Myrtle Snow calmly playing that instrument while Cordelia had a breakdown

those all black looks were good shit

Freak Show

this shit was SAD AS HELL

like literally how they killed all the characters was fucking gut wrenching

also Pepper? at Briarcliff?? seeing that magazine with Elsa on it??? I cry every time

once again proved the crazy talent of Sarah Paulson

at least Lily Rabe was kinda there

despite being a little shit Dandy was a great character

last time they had some really long episodes, or at least varied between 45 min and longer, which I liked bc I think it let them do quite a bit

I want Sarah Paulson's cover of Criminal to play at my funeral or my wedding or goddamn something ugh

"We might not be on a farm but something sure smells like bullshit to me" (paraphrased)

I can't believe they made me feel so damn bad for a scary clown dude, he didn't deserve that

Hotel

the fucking style? and music? SUPERB

"I FUCKING LIVE HERE"

when Iris was gonna off herself and made that video

I have a love/hate relationship with John Lowe 'cause he kinda stupid

Evan Peters looking like Spongebob as a fancy waiter

Lady Gaga and Matt Bomer drenched in blood

everything about Liz Taylor was like beautiful

somehow the vampire thing worked

could (should) have used literally any song other than hotline bling

Devil's Night was great but then they made an inconsistency with the zodiac killer in Cult

aT lEaSt LiLy RaBe WaS kInDa ThErE

loved it when Billie came back

Roanoke

enjoyed the documentary style and kudos to Ryan for doing something different

with that being said it was pretty predictable and cliche

so damn happy to see Lily Rabe back

favorite fan promo thing I saw: "Lily Rabe is back and she has a gluten allergy and questionable judgement" (paraphrased but hilarious and accurate)

wish they had time to round out the actor characters (Audrey, Monet, etc)

RIP an accent 2016-2016

still though, it brought some good people back into the cast

good call with Adina Porter, she's amazing

"I'm not American, I'm not used to all this carnage!"

honestly a lot of Audrey's lines were great

and her reaction to Shelby's death holy fuck that honestly startled me

Cricket Marlowe looking like Danny Devito in that one episode of Always Sunny

Cult

I liked how they worked phobias into it

a good deal of the sexual stuff just made me really uncomfortable, like especially when it was directed at Ally (or Ivy I guess), idk I think as a lesbian myself it felt like they were pushing all this phallic shit on her and challenging her sexuality which just really rubbed me the wrong way (my take on it, anyway)

Ally's character development though goddamn

Ally in general, she was so fckin cute ugh

I feel like they made Ivy too dislikable? like she could've had SOME redeeming qualities but nah

Kai was fucking awful

people shit on Winter as a character but I still think Billie Lourd acted wonderfully

why do all of Emma Roberts' characters have to be such bitches? lol

still don't know how I feel about it ending with Ally supposedly like becoming leader of the SCUM group or whatever

loved that they used extreme stereotypes of both conservatives and liberals

Apocalypse

they killed Venable too soon

she and Mead were so extra together I loved it

MISTY IS BAAAAACK

again, Foxxay (they better kiss and be happy by the end of this season I stg)

Cordelia's vision was terrifying, like she got her throat torn out jfc

if Cordelia (or, hell, even Billie) die too I'm going to be 2-3 times more heartbroken than I already am about Venable

especially excited to see Mallory's character develop

I both love and hate Michael Langdon

Leslie Grossman still getting all the wack, iconic one-liners

BD Wong being in it was lowkey hilarious to me bc I've only ever seen him in SVU before

"Because I'm the FUCKING Supreme"

can't wait to get more Billie Dean Howard

Jessica Lange! it's been so long, how ya been?

where the hell did Brock go after he broke in to kill Coco? did he just fuck off back into the wastelands?

Ryan, USE LILY RABE'S TALENT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD even if she doesn't stay for long this season (plz let Misty be okay and while I don't quite think it'll happen I'm still hoping to see Nora) bring her back sometime with another major character I miss her so much

I'm excited to see more!

[circular-8]

ok so i’ve watched the Roswell New Mexico finale and I have rambly thoughts and here they are in no particular order:

This got long you guys so it’s under a cut:

1 - Holy shit you guys

2 - I love Liz Ortecho.  She so brave and so selfless and so badass.  Liz “I just got slightly stabbed should I tell my boyfriend with super-human-healing-hands or should i pretend i’m fine so he can go stop the bad guy before he hurts anyone else” Ortecho is just so in character and so *swoon* and I’m really glad it seems to have been pretty superficial and she’ll be just fine.

3 - Noah is dead and I’m really OK with that.  It’s an unsurprising narrative choice and I have to say I appreciate it when a show just kills off bad guys instead of keeping them around for increasingly weird reasons.  When a bad guy’s arc is done just get rid of them and move on.

4 - Speaking of Noah how incredibly creepy was he at the Crashdown?

5 - I love Kyle Valenti you guys.  I’ve mentioned this before, but he generally takes up the place in a narrative that’s held by an asshole (the ex, the potential romantic rival, the person with personal stakes that don’t quite align with those of the main character), but he’s not.  Again and again he’s given the opportunity to make and bad or unkind choice and again and again he chooses to be good and he’s so great.

6 - Liz and Max had sex!  I was kinda hoping it would happen before the end of the season, but only if it made sense for the characters and I think it did so I’m so glad it happened.

(6b - ok so the number of similar character beats and themes between the scene in the show and the fic i recently posted like i am over here screaming.  the show was way more PG and alien flavored, but like that was kinda what i was going for)

7 - Liz and Max continue to be a solid couple and the light of my life.

8 - ROSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  I thought AGES ago “ooh maybe max could res her,” but dismissed it due to the fact that i thought she was buried and thus decomposing.  Noah putting her in his pod is 1000% terrible and creepy and I feel like I should have guessed but didn’t.  Having her back is a huge twist that I didn’t expect, but I am SO DOWN for this.

9 - Giving Liz a solid plot related reason to stay in Roswell was something I was hoping to get in the finale and this is absolutely that.  I really want her to be able to keep working on her research, but having her stay for Rosa is a good, in character reason to stay at this point I feel.

10 - of course max would risk and sacrifice his life to save Rosa.  This is the kind of character beat I’ve been expecting and waiting for all season and I am LIVING for this.

10b - I 1000% do NOT believe that max will stay dead (if he even is actually dead, we don’t know, but I do feel like it was implied) so I’m not upset by this turn of events.

11 - wow, max while on his post-killing-someone high is cavalier.  He wasn’t worried about anything in that scene - not what he’d just done, not keeping their secret and not michael’s choice about his hand.  Not a good look and him and i really don’t think it was supposed to be.

12 - on the other hand I am OK with Max resurrecting Rosa without getting permission first.  Michael and Isobel were pretty clear where they stood on the whole “nope don’t bring her back” because they prioritized the secret over saving her.  I’m also ok with him not asking Liz first for a number of reasons: a) obviously she wants her sister back, b) he didn’t know if he’d succeed so offering it only to have it not work could be cruel, c) they both know healing hurts him so to ask Liz to choose between her sister or her boyfriend could also be cruel, and (most importantly I think) d) by not asking Liz or even telling her what he was trying he’s making sure he’s only the only person who’s responsible for what happens.  He’s taken a risk on himself, by himself and he’s the only person responsible for that choice.

13 - did Liz really just get her sister back and lose the man she loves in all in the space of thirty seconds?  JFC show.

14 - I don’t have a lot of skin in the Michael/Maria/Alex triangle so I don’t think i would have been upset whichever one Michael chose at the end of the season.  Alex sitting outside waiting for Michael was very sad, but I have to say that I’m actually really proud of Michael for recognizing that though he loves Alex, Alex makes him unhappy and so chose what made him happy instead.

15 - FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE TELL MARIA THE TRUTH.  I thought Liz was going to when she found out about Maria’s necklace, but NOPE.  I think (hope) that Michael’s “we’ll talk later” was indicating that he intends to tell her about the alien stuff after he plays the guitar for a bit.

16 - I’m 1000% down for Isobel stretching her powers.  I wonder how far that’ll go.

17 - I think that’s it for the moment, but it was pretty much what I was hoping it would be so I’m happy.

[ted-hyung]

So I hear you're a b1a4 supremacist, and I'm here to learn. I'm a bit overwhelmed by the amount of content so if you could help a sistah out and hit me up with some links or just a list of must watch variety show things or livestreams or reality shows or whatever that they've done, i'll be forever grateful thank youuu

jfc i’m fucking honored you came to me, anon-sshi ok wow.wow.

buckle up and listen it’s gonna be a messy ride full of keyboard smashing also caps locking is that even a word.

THE ALMOST ULTIMATE B1A4 VARIETY SHOW LIST, bc even as a supremacist, i have memory flaws but keep your faith in oppa amen.

1. MTV MATCH UP WITH BLOCK B aka THE CORE OF BECOMING A BANA

watch it here >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTBLwEGG-Jw

praise the lord bc after 6 years and counting the gems are still up on that site. i’m telling you i have been coming back to MTV match up at least ONCE A YEAR. it’s that great, it’s THAT LEGENDARY i pity new idols who don’t get to experience variety shows with MTV i’m not even joking. please watch it.

* fun fact: do you know who invented being awkward on variety shows? CNU. broad shoulders? CNU, established 2011. long hair don’t care? shin dongwoo, blood type A.

2. B1A4 SESAME PLAYER (2012)

watch it here >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPmDyLdeUxQ

 i said on my previous B1A4 post that 2012 was a blessed year for BANA. 3 albums and LOTS OF VARIETY SHOWS asfjksak listen oppa is old and was blessed with gods of variety shows that appeared on sesame player: INFINITE then MBLAQ (if you have time just google it with english sub they’re amazing). B1A4 was considered a super rookie back then, their popularity was still behind both infinite and mblaq yet there they were. it’s like the upgraded version of MTV match up, sans the humiliation lmao.* fun fact: who invented being a lazy scholar slash the original bear? CNU. did grandpa jinyoung make his first appearance on sesame player? YOU FUCKING BET im wheezing at the subway scene PLEASE WATCH THE WHOLE SERIES.

3. HELLO BABY (2012)

watch it here >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ8EdHl3m9Y

im fucking ugly crying dude what the fuck thanks to baro i understood that i have to level my body and eyes when talking to lil kids like—so they feel comfortable with us and not spooked etc. also if you’re handsome like jinyoung then you’re instant favorite. the babies are so pretty here I WANT TO KNOW WHERE THEY ARE NOW IT’S BEEN 5 FUCKING YEARS? THE FUCK?

* fun fact: what’s the best catchphrase in all kpop land? ask gongchan and his ellipunt. he knows dude, he knows.

4. MTV SELCA DIARY

watch it here >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvBMgFobZe8

i believe this was a short series like 2 eps? and they were in japan and as they played hide and seek gongchan was locked out of their hotel because he went out to the balcony located in the hallway to hide and the door is locked from the inside. it’s safe to say i was worried af for his fate. spoiler alert: just watch it please lmao.

5. WEEKLY FUCKING IDOL

LISTEN WHO INVENTED DONI AND CONY’S STANDARDS OF BOY GROUP DANCING TO GIRL GROUP’S CHOREOGRAPHY? IT’S SANDEUL. trust me doni said so, unfortunately i couldn’t remember which episode that he said to a rookie boy group that had to do the girl group dance challenge and they showed sandeul’s footage dancing to… GIRL’S DAY SOMETHING JESUS.

here have some lq screen caps:

you can watch the episode featuring sandeul dancing to girl’s day something and my hyung 01 jinyoung stiffly dancing to sunmi 24 hours here >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUVykgefD-Q&list=PLaN3K4K4nBGYzzy2Nq9eDm98SESmx8sco&index=10

(dude, thank me later jinyoung KILLED me).

6. MNET GO!B1A4 ROAD TRIP (2014)

SOLO FUCKING DAY ERA GOT ME

watch it here >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGH8MG0qYm8 

tbh i haven’t finished bc i believe they weren’t properly subbed before? or maybe i was lazy? BUT IT’S ALL SUBBED NOW do you know who invented being unfortunate for the camera? it’s sandeul, bc his ice cream got snatched by a seagull and it just so happened to be filmed on camera.

ok i’m not sure how many eps are there but this one >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEuj066JVQI has ma bro CNU grooving with another bro. do they make you want to go grab your bike now? yes they do.

7. ASK IN A BOX (2015)

just watch it in 1080p i swear https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWDpnoN6xrQ

8. ????????

9. while we’re at it please watch them singing and dancing to their sister’s ultimate song ‘1 step 2 step/step by step’ composed and arranged by jinyoung here >>> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfh8okrsTnw

10. ok tbh i dunno their new stuffs fuck. there’s always their channel on V live app, but their videos rarely get subbed there le sad face. if you understand korean though, please subscribe to their channel lmao. i’m tagging the best B1A4 guru @cybercnu​ maybe you can enlighten us all? also my fellow BANA le liz @alizardbird

anon-sshi, i hope you will have a good time watching all of the videos above. the links should work and you can search the next episodes on each respective youtube channels. i hope you will laugh until you cry or cry until you understand why this oppa is a B1A4 supremacist lmao.

that being said, i would like to thank you deeply for showing your interest in my brothers. it’s been 6 years and counting so tell your friends about them too lmao. FIND THEM ON SPOTIFY - LOOK UP THE LYRICS TRANSLATION and if you’re into korean drama watch jinyoung and baro’s dramas. follow their instagram and twitter accounts. follow oh my girl and I (cha yoonji) and ONF and wm_ggumnamu accounts. there’s a post on tumblr saying self care is stanning WM entertalent groups and it’s true LMAO.

thank you have a great weekend oppa spent two hours compiling this.

# CREDITS: http://b1a4tv.tumblr.com/vs

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLaN3K4K4nBGYzzy2Nq9eDm98SESmx8sco

[49scribes-a]

{--Everybody in this stream was fucking HIGH.--}

He's either also cold or he's going through withdrawals, one of the two.

No he's having a seizure

STOP BOUNCING DEAK

All those burnt corpses look like bacon to me

Crispy dragon-charred bacon

Human jerky

I’d love some jerky rn

Id push you

BACKFLIP BACK FLIP

you're a COWARD. GO TO THE TOP

NO

EMBRACE THE JUMP

EAGLE JUMP

jfc

theres a hay pile at the bottom waiting to catch you. youll be fine

because physics works for you in this game

t his isn't assasin's c r e ed

yes it is. right?

Wrong game

that's what we're watching?

theres is clearly hay

i see parkor

hay and parkour= ass creed

exact

HRDCORE PARKOR

lavi looks like a hobbit ngl. i mean deak

hes gonna steal the ring from gollum

can u see the eye of mordor

hes carrying it

it is

jump. you'll live

Holy shit I survived

TOLD U

the eye of mordor is mobile now

it was great

7/10

TOLD U UR IL CHILD BEARING BONES WOULD CATCH YOU - THEYRE SPRINGY AND RESILIENT

U did it

congrdeurtions

am i having a stroke

Ashdjsjdk

idk - were all varying seconds behind of each other. so mavbe

Who keeps a deer pelt with bread smh

makes sense

That’s why they all sick in Skyrim

the deer pelt is surprisingly sterile

can't have the babes

its the most sterile thing in thie fucking game

you're right

i cant believe deak is aa hobbit

idk if its gonna keep your bread all spongy tho

just wrap it tight. it'll be fine

I mean it was stale so probably not

and your breads gonna tste kinda funny

tHTAT'S PRETTY

SKYRIM IS PRETTY

Noice

AESHTETIC

I CAN TYPE I SWEAR

straight up

r U havin' a stroke?

mE VISION KEEPS BLURRING

I wanna go somepe similar to skyrim, take up residency in n bandoned castle. spruce it up

go to europe

and then pretend im a ghost haunting it when visitor come

they have random "castles"

tHAT SKY THO

SCREEN SHOTS. NICE. GOOD CHOICE

I dont want [castles] I want C A S T L E S

we all have dreams

sweet dreams are made of thiiissss

My dream is to be able to spell astetic

who am i to disagree

you men bees

Asthmatic

mean*

travel the world and the seven seas

Jesus Christ

aesthetic?

Yes that one!

antsthetic

I wanna lick the sugar candy in the sky

Aesthetic !!

antstetic?antstatic?ant static

aunt stacy

A e s t h e t I c

that sounds like something Ant-Man would say

sunnylantern gets it = w=

DUN DUN DUN DUN DUND UN DUN DUN ANT MAAAAANNN H A

Why is that corpse thiccer then I am

duran duran hungry like the wolf

wait, I missed the corpse

we have to go back for the corpse

go back for the corpse, tho

leave NO man behind

you mean jeky

jerky*

no it's jeky

nO

okay, I thought I saw a shadow back there and it looked like a werewolf

we do not waste jerky

Bacon

Mmmmm Bacon....

bc u cannibals wanna eat them

it might have been

don't waste good meat

jfc

Meat is meat

meat is meat. yes

they dead they don't care

exactly

bacon is delicious as hell

MEAT MEAT MEAT

HEATHENS

sos jerky

ALL OF U

U'R A HEATHEN 2 DON'T PLAY COY

scuse you - were pagan

i'm an angel

sounds fake

idk what ur talking about

wOW

it does sound fake

Im pure so I mean

We're all heathens

sounds fake

we're all heathens yes

all my friends are heathens

take it slow

take it slow

(twenty one pilots voice) all my friends are heathens-GDI

TOO SLOW.

TAKE IT SLOW

LMAO

wait for them to ask u who u kno

please don't make

i forgot the damn lyrics

any sudden moves

any sudden moves

AAYY

pfffbbbbt

u don't know the half of the abuse

Y’all remember all that smh

XD

hell yeah man

it catchy

Can’t even remember my middle name

s AM E

same

adopt a child. it's time

tbh - replace remembering our names with more important infrmation, like musical lyrics...people use those alot

my middle name is simple as heck. it's only 3 letters

adopting children usually doesn't go well; just look at doug

dic

Hige. No.

ann

but

No

Mine is four and yet :->

dick:smiley:

mine is 5 letters

NO. Dicks.

mINE IS FOUR

yep, that's my middle name. u caught me

mines four too

Ahsjdjdjd

Maybe we all have the same middle name

i'm Liz Dick now

LMAO

Liz dick taylor

'cause we all have the same middle name

has a nice flow

it does doesn't it?

not me

i'm proud of my name

mine is 3 letters

naw. it's Dick now

its four now

Nope, it three

FINE. Dic

ass

U CAN BE THE HALF SSED DIC

there u go

Hjssjjs

oh yeaaaa

sounds like that's yours, isa

OOOHHH

wow

DANG

: )

SNAP

isa ass

isass

has a ring

ees ass

isa sass

Eat a ss

thees assthesis

isa's ass

prometheous

you're all terrible

w he e z e s

WHERE DO U GET THAT. FROM ISA ASS.

rhymes with thesis

prometheass

that name makes me uncomfortable

I want that as my new name

hahahahahah

Prod the a sa

i blame the movie and all the movies that's connected to that one. I get nightmares

don't worry i'll protect you

really tho, me middle name means darling in french so

aren't u special

i'm an angel

meanie

all of u can fight me

u'r an angle, isa

ur no angel, isa

My middle name is from my great grandmother

I was named aftar a slutty country singer. and a car

PHHHHTTTT

i was named after *no one*

a car and a country singer. fuck me

my middle name is Spanish

lucky

QUESO

i'm hispanic and my middle name ain't hispanic :confused:

UR MIDDLE NAME IS QUESO

THREE LETTERS, HIGE

KSO

3 LETTERS, HIGE

osHIT

I'm hispanic and all my names be hispanic

THAT HAPPENED

the kink cavern

the falling cavern

u and deak gonna kink it up in here

WHy

wait ....still children in this. nvm

because it's expected

Looks like stds grow there ngl

deak is a child. cover his eyes

WH A T. WHERE DID THAT GO TO. WHY IT COLLAPSE JUST NOW

See that’s the stds falling from the roof

you guys are behind me, my gosh. that happened like 10 seconds ago

too much sex in this ramshackle place

No one cleans that place

no one needs to. don't get paid enough for that shit

its the jizz....it gets between the cracks and degrades the foundation

between teh /cracks/

KEK

Can’t people f uck in the bed like normal humans

naw son. too vanilla, they get bored

i

omg

wow

Back in my day we used beds and called it woohoo

this is not SIMS

back in my day, we got in bed and wrestled

i'M CR YGIN

AGSHDJSJ that’s where all my sex ed comes from shdjsjd

Back in my day we fucked on the floor like REAL MEN

WHOA NOW. CALM URSELF

COVER THINE EYES, CHILDREN

Crying my lord

I'M TOO ACE FOR THIS

YOU BETTER BE PRAYIN TO UR LORD AND NOT CRYIN

back in my day, we walked 4 miles with ONE FUCKIN' SHOE

relatable

and we shared between 5 of us

Through the snow

ok but same

bc I ate the other shoe

gdi hige

hige thought it was jerky

I did

it was jerky

Must of burnt it

Anything chewy nd tough is jerky

ye bro. learn from hige

...skin?

def

ye

n o

y e

skin is the jerkiest of all

And I’m the one that needs to pray

and the people are jerky, too 'cause they're jerks sometimes

Take the pot

smoke the pot

^^^^to both

I mean-cogh

dO NOT SMOKE THE POT. JFC HIGE

taste the pot

smell the pot

be the pot

BE the pot, yep

be the pot

It’s pn legal now

why are you HERE

smoke that khajiit drug thing

why did you come back to the kink dungeon

DO IT

we're all pots now

i'm a potu'r a pot

we're all pots

or drink it, i don't remember what it is

moonshine

Does the room smell like pot?

I put a pot on me head and nw im a pot head

. . .

IT'S ALL OGRE NOW

I...

y did u make me read that with my own 2 eyes

wait wrong reference

NO

-leaves-

That’s a bad ref

i h8 isa

whe ez e s

Nasty

i'ms or ry

Talk about HEATHEN

go sit in the corner and think about what u've done

u'r no angel

they cant, the corners are mine. all of them

fuckin' share

u already knew this, liz

i did

I Still remember that video like tbwas uesterdyayb

lucifer was an angel too

Was

yesterday

T'was

luifer is still pretty hot I hear

Gdi

SHUT UP

-eye brow wiggle-

omg

hoNHON

EIFFEL TOWER

ur banned from my next stream, hige

BAGUETTE

NO TEW2 FOR YOU

EIFFEL TOWER

NO. PLS. ILL BE GOOD

BAGUETTE

The Eiffel Tower reminds me of something else but idk why

B A N N E D

ILL CALL YOU MASTER AND WEAR A SHOCK COLLAR AND EVERYTHING

goodbye hige

PLS

doug's got that eiffel tower dick. bye

-pBFT

that pill dick

Hm.

i'll see myself out

more like

Wait was there an anime with an Eiffel Tower :thinking:

there was a show with an eiffel tower. and a lady bug,and a cat, and moths

chaat noir

it was cray

Miraculous Ladybug

Nah thinking of something ten times as traumatizing

wow u guys got it

sCREAMS

y that

o 3 o

sCREAMS TOO

But it might of just been a Tower

I watch it every now and then

are u sacrificing deak to the old gods

and the new

the new season?

gotta go fast. gotta go fast

Are u making jerky

OH new gods

gOTTA GO FASTER FASTER FF -FF-F-F-F-F-FASTER

honey you've got a big storm comin'

SANIC X

I was singing that during one of my streams

u didnt stutter over the Faster part. it doesnt count

I did tho

i have to go make jerky

this music still makes me think of South Park Stick of Truth

pats gently

Sleep is for the weak

And i. Am v weak

whimps. sleep is for the dead

grnted. we are all very dead inside already so....

Guess y’all better get me a coffin then cause imma be sleep in an hour probs. Maybe two. Depends on how much my dog wants to piss me off tonight

SCREAMS THO I FINALLY GOT A FIRE STARTED AND IT CRASHED

LMAO

Rip fire

RIP KIT

no fire

It burned too bright

only suffering

tiger tiger burning bright

Face the dark and cold like a dragon

fuckin capitilism

U can do it kit. Build that fire

How do u skill up in camping ?

Desk looks short.

Deak*

no. hes desk now

he's always been desk

your kindling loks like dog turds

They do I know my dog turds

ive stepped in enough dog shit to know my turds

I’ve picked up enough dog crap to know mine

baaah

Except those look like old ones. All cold and dried out

why do u need the fire anyway

Warmth, light, happiness

DEAK WAS STRANGLING A RAT BEFORE IT CRASHED

Yuh oh

I HEARD ITS LIL ANGRY RAT SOUNDS

The rat crashed the game to live

Rat god

rat ruh raggy

Why kill a werewolf when u can date kne

This little meter shows wet and cold. Gotta keep em down.

thats bswe all know lavis always wet bc hes a horny rabbit

IAHSJSJSJS

I mean u know rabbits...

Wear a coat and u will be warm

gotta hump like theres no tomorrow

Sex keeps u warm..I think

Actually I don’t know:thinking:

id imagine to bodies that sit at 98 degrees F while doing nthing get pretty hot when pressed together and doing activities that raise your blod pressure

thats like a 400 degree sauna right there if my maths right. pretty toasty

....that makes me wanna never do anything cause Thats HOT

goodsex is bad - its how babies are made and we dont want none of that

Condoms are a thing

so are holes and accidents

Ajsjsjsj being gay means no babies

Why do u think Im here

W o w

U

bruh

They’re happy accidents

Tru, Hays where the other half of my sex ed comes in. One half is sims the other is p orn

they are good teachers. pornhub is good to us

Yeah on what not to do I found some kessed up stuff. That’s where I found that shrek video

Spongeknob squarenuts

I can honestly say I have seen worse. Anime p orn is another layer of hell

And then there were three

Wow what a cool dog

THE THREE AMIGOS. THE THREE MUSKETEERS. NOW WITH LESS BLACK SPOTS. or was that treasure island-squints-

That was treasure island

Wood looks so crunchy

I read moby dick, the three musketeers, treasure island, huckleberry fin, tom sawyer and a few others but. fuck me if I remember them in their entirety

I read that as “I read my dick” and I was very concerned

wood - the original forbidden fruit

DEAK GT TURBERCULOSIS

Is that a naked man

prbsi mean this is sex dungeon

My god. Worst kink

why two lil kids re crwling around it giving themselves aids is beyound me

This is the least sexy sex dungeon let’s be real here. No mood lighting, cold. No r and b music. Where’s the pizzazz

maybe they played music on the bones

Yeah cause that’s sexy//

it is if ur a skeleton fucker in the undertale fandom

Do NOT. I have nightmares about that fandom

I can no longer look at a naked anatomical skeleton in all casual and comfort anymore

Wow really just moved the money for that gold

Honestly seeing them with dicks that are blue and glowing is just. V bad. I have seen so many things. and every time I see an actual factual human skeleton now. its all I see

I’m glad are the men here in this dungeon are napping so well

and I am very uncomfortable with naked skeletons

Aren’t all.:.skeletons naked ?

Guess they are wearing skin...

Deaks hair is Cheeto colored which is honest such a look:tm: you rub your hand through deaks hair. your fingers come back stained with neon orange dust

Cheeto dandruff

whose playin the meat sticks again

what

i heard the meaty slaps

i still hear them

alright. go gather your quotes you quote whore