#but its obvious he has an extremely hard time saying no and feels obligated to do whatever is asked of him
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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okay but the realization that Howdy is actually a little bit of a scoundrel? a scammer even?? was like the BEST part of the update for me!!! his got a bit of spice to him i like that!
idk if it’s just me but it feels like it’s very important that Eddie was the only have like a extra audio thing on his character sheet in the neighborhood besides Wally and the You page?? like that feels significant somehow right??
i just really loved both Howdy and Eddie in these updates they were so great
GOD i know i know he's got some Kick to him! he's got Flavor! i love how he turned the common perception of his character on its side - everyone expected him to be wholesome and helpful and sweet, and then the update came in with the fuckin steel chair-
hmmmm i can see both sides of the beetle on Eddie's bio - the significance, and the possibility of it just being There because most pages had 1-2 bugs, and the audio was about Eddie. but ALSO its so so likely that is Was significant! i honestly thought so as well!
i mean, the beetle is very uhhh, Valentine looking? the prevalent heart shapes, the soft pink-yellow-white coloring, plus its an audio centered on Eddie and Frank. we already know FranklyDear is going to be an established Couple - so i'd agree that the significant is There! and if we lived in an alternate world where we didn't know about FranklyDear, we'd all be losing our collective shit over this and theorizing the hell outta it
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fleurmiss · 2 years ago
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ೃ⁀➷ only you, my girl
- ,, neteyam x fem reader
- ,, you think neteyam is extremely attractive, others do too , its fine! you get it! but what happens when they cross a line ?
- ,, warnings - neteyam is head over heels for u, jealousy and the attitude that comes w it, fluff , all this happens before the events of awotw.
-‘๑’- dark red - steve lacy
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Neteyam has always shown so much interest in you, and made his courting so obvious, but why do people still not get the damn hint?
Currently you are walking on a huge tree branch, high above the ground, with Lo’ak, Kiri and Spider. Neteyam isn’t here, much to your dismay, because he has “ Future Olo’eyktan duties” as Lo’ak likes to call it.
“it’s almost eclipse, let’s start heading back” Kiri mentions and for once, Lo’ak and Spider agree and make their way home without causing too much of a fuss
“woah guys, you barely even whined about having to go back home so early today, whatsup?�� you question laced with sarcasm as you hear Kiri chuckle and nod in agreement with you.
“we don’t want to keep you away from your boyfriend for too long y/n, we all know how cranky my brother gets without you” Lo’ak adds and Spider cackles, thinking this is so super funny.
You shove Lo’ak and tell him to shut up, and that Neteyam’s not your boyfriend, and he doesn’t get cranky.
Your relationship with Neteyam was quite.. obvious , yet complicated. Both confused teenagers in love yet don’t know how to confess it, nothing was official, but everyone knew you were off limits, you were Neteyam’s girl.
you are clutching your stomach in pain from laughing too hard when you enter the Sully’s cave, wiping a tear from your cheek wondering how on pandora could someone be so stupid as lo’ak and spider.
You hear the laughter die down and your eyes set on a pair sitting together in the gathering room of the cave, Neteyam and Rini.
You eye both of them in confusion, so does Lo’ak, Kiri, and even Spider. You feel butterflies fluttering in your stomach but not in the good way, you don’t like how close Rini is to Neteyam.
“Guys, Rini caught me on the way back to our cave and said she wanted to hang out with everyone, hope no one minds?”
The four of you shake your heads and make your way to the pair to sit down with them. It was odd, Rini wasn’t good friends with any of you, maybe Neteyam? No, you would know. Why does she suddenly wanna hang out with us? Neteyam is often times too nice to say no, maybe he couldn’t deny her? You wonder if the others question the same, and maybe they do, judging by the looks on their faces.
“y/n” you hear your name in neteyam’s voice, he pats the spot next to him, the opposite side of where Rini is sitting, you don’t want to sit next to him, to be petty, but you oblige anyways, oblivious to the female na’vi glaring daggers at you, Neteyam gives you a bright smile, now that you got his attention, you’ll have it the rest of the night.
Neteyam embraces you in a warm hug, his hands sneaking around your waist as he whispers into your ear “missed you, you look good”
you smile shyly and open your mouth to thank him, but someone else beats you to it
“Neteyam! This cut on your arm looks terrible!! Are you okay? How’d you get it?!”
God. Her voice is annoying, why is she yelling? Neteyam is literally next to her?
You eye Kiri and she rolls her eyes at Rini, you stifle a laugh and Neteyam notices, smiling sweetly at your antics, momentarily forgetting Rini was even there, until he is bought back to his senses.
“Oh this? It’s nothing just a scratch”
“Do you want me to patch it up for you?”
Your eye twitches, you try to have a normal conversation with the other three, trying your best to ignore the two sitting right next to you, but Rini makes it unbelievably hard with her screeching voice.
“No I’m g-“
“I insist” Rini touches Neteyams shoulder and gives it a squeeze, you look at Neteyam and he knows it, you’re pissed. You stay quiet and enjoy the show infront of you.
“I’ll have y/n help me later Rini, it’s alright.”
“Oh- Oh yeah okay” she deflates, but you have a feeling deep down, this girl isn’t giving up so easily. You wonder who put her up to this. Her mother? Grandmother? Friends? Toruk Makto’s eldest son’s mate does have a nice ring to it, despite the length, but that title’s yours, she knows it.
You all are laughing at Lo’ak and Kiri arguing about who Spider likes better when Neteyam rests his head on your shoulder. You feel your stomach explode with butterflies again, the good kind.
“Tired?”
“mhm” Neteyam mumbles, you reach your hand up to the braid dangling infront of his face and move it behind his ear. Your romantic little moment is interrupted yet again by the same culprit from last time.
“Neteyammm, it’s so dark! Will you walk me to my cave?” Rini latches onto Neteyam’s arm and gives him a little tug thats powerful enough to have him pulling away from you and get him to stand up.
“Uh-“ Neteyam looks at you for approval, you’re not looking at him, instead opting the floor was a better option. Neteyam is no fool, he knows why you’re upset, he gets it too, if some random man was leeching onto you like Rini is, he’d be upset, hell, he’d be crazy. He doesn’t like that expression on your face, he doesn’t like when you’re sad, because of him too.
Neteyam look’s over to Lo’ak and Lo’ak immediately gets on it. “Bro don’t worry about it, Kiri, Spider and I will walk Rini to her cave, we know you’re tired and wanna be with your girlfriend”. Lo’ak smiles and winks at his older brother.
This throws Rini offguard.
“Thank you guys. Rini, see you around”.
“Awh Neteyam it’s a shame you couldn’t accompany me, y/n keeps snatching you away from me and if i’m correct.. she isn’t even your girlfriend.. you should spend more time with me and my friends!” Rini smiles slyly, her tone innocent but her intentions show clearly. Rini hugs Neteyam and whispers something in his ear, which you’re sure she said loud enough for you to hear on purpose.
“If you ever do need a mate that will actually commit, you know your options” she winks and pulls away from his embrace as the group starts to walk outside, irritated.
You stand up abruptly and walk past Neteyam who stood there dumbfounded.
“Y/n” He grabs your wrist to stop you from walking any further.
“Let go Neteyam, I wanna go home” You hate how wobbly your voice sounds when you speak right now.
“y/n, are you crying?” He sounds so worried it makes you even sadder
“i’m sorry baby, im sorry, i didn’t know she was gonna act like that” he pulls your head into his shoulder and strokes your back comfortingly.
“don’t call me that.. im not your girlfriend, and i don’t care how she acts” you say, though your tone and quivering lip betray your words
“y/n..” he pulls you away and cups your face with his gentle hands, afraid he would break you if he was any less gentle “cmon look at me” you meet his gaze and his eyebrows furrow at the sight of your slightly red but watery eyes
“you know you’re the only girl i ever want right? you’re so special to me y/n..why don’t you see that, i want you to be mine so bad, every morning i wake up and pray to Eywa to finally have let you see how desperate i am for you. why must you let someone like rini ruin your day?”
you sniffle, and Neteyam thinks its so cute he could kiss you right now, but he holds back.
“but i am yours nete” you say, unintentional doe eyes looking up at Neteyam that make him melt, he can’t hold himself back anymore .
Neteyam leans towards your face, held by his hands, and he stops right infront of your lips, asking for permission, waiting for disapproval “kiss me y/n” it sounds like a plead, like he’s almost begging, so you do.
you feel your head explode, his lips are so soft, so perfect against your own and you question why you didn’t do this before.
you pull away but neteyam chases after your lips and captures them again. You finally pull away and rest your forehead against his. Neteyam gives you another kiss that lasts shorter than your previous, “i see you, y/n”
you look up at him through your eyelashes and smile slowly
“say it back” he whispers against your lips and you almost give in.
“are you sure? you don’t wanna explore your other options?”
“you are the only option, ever.” you smile.
“i see you, neteyam” and you kiss him again, he whines into your mouth and you have to stop yourself from giggling at the sight of our future olo’eyktan being putty in your hands.
- you hear a sob from outside and later realize Rini stayed behind cuz she thought Neteyam would leave you and go after her but oh was she wrong
- loak, kiri, and spider dont even realize rini is missing and they start talking shit abt her once they know shes gone
- anytime rini saw u and neteyam after this, she would always have her fists balled up and bottom lip quivering
- she thought she still had a chance with neteyam after her eavesdropping on his confession but everytime yall hung out neteyam would be so clingy that eventually she realized he was too inlove with you
- fuck u rini hah hes mine btch
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tainbocuailnge · 9 months ago
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Hello, I hope it's ok I'm sending this ask but you've written some amazing posts and explanations about Cú Alter and Medb and I was wondering if you also did their valentine's scenes? Have a great day and Happy Valentine's Day 💕
i don't think i've ever talked about their valentines gift scenes specifically. they're pretty straightforward displays of their particular styles of responsibility and diligence.
medb takes love very seriously both as a tool of control and as her genuine true heart's desire so her gifts as both rider and saber are extremely high quality to the point where it seems storebought (handmade chocolate is seen as more genuine than storebought) and she calls every chocolate she hands out her true love chocolate (as opposed to obligation chocolate, the gift you only hand out because there's a societal expectation for women to give valentines gifts to all their classmates and colleagues), because she has complexes and both intentionally and unintentionally smudges the lines on how genuine her displays of affection are so that she can maintain plausible deniability on whether she showed vulnerability or not. but while most people would aim for this plausible deniability by making medium effort obligation choco that could mean nothing she instead makes everything a display of true love because love is deeply important to her.
she wants the excitement of confessing her true love, and she wants the control you have over someone who is in love with you, and she wants the safety of people not knowing her true feelings and thus not having that control over her in turn. she's assertive and a bit fussy and when she decides to do something she always makes sure to do it well, and the result is beautiful professional quality handmade chocolate, but in her saber scene when she decides she wants to be the one who is pursued for a change she kinda fumbles it because even though she's assertive and prides herself on "taking whatever she wants" she has a hard time asking for what she really wants (close relationship as equals with someone she loves), because of the complexes.
cu alter meanwhile is clearly uncomfortable with displays of affection both because of medb's specific style of affection-as-control and because he just thinks of himself as a weapon rather than a person and gets really annoyed when guda doesn't share that view. he brusquely dismisses any attempt to treat him like a person but also has a way too strong sense of duty, so even though he doesn't want guda's gift and says he's just gonna throw it out later he still has to arrange a return gift, it's the obvious thing to do. there's a disconnect between what he says and what he does for basically everything he does because he's torturing himself by thinking he doesn't get the luxury of being the same he's always been even though he's still just the same he's always been. he's obviously not actually gonna throw out that chocolate.
mini cu-chan debuted in the prillya event that ran before male valentines scenes got added and i think they made that the gift just because they couldn't really think of something he would give lol. there's various possible explanations for why the description says medb doesn't recognise it, maybe it's the usual event amnesia handwave, maybe she's lying because she thinks she posted cringe in the prillya singularity. i don't think cu alter is lying about it just showing up in his room one day because he tends to lie about his opinions (to himself most of all) but not about facts. i do like that even though he says you can throw it out for all he cares he obviously did not do that himself, because his sense of duty is way too strong and he takes care of his own as the obvious thing to do even if it pisses him off.
its a fun little contrast between the two of them, medb is very verbally affectionate but struggles to actually unambiguously display affection for a myriad complicated reasons while cu alter grumbles and complains but through his actions is always clearly on your side. but they're both very reliable and diligent, if you need medb for something she will absolutely pull through for you and this very sincere diligence of hers is exactly what she's trying to obfuscate with her elaborate ambiguous affection so that it can't be taken advantage of while cu doesn't really care if he's being taken advantage of because he's gonna do it anyway and that's what frustrates her so fucking much about him that she had to make a version of him that will at least loudly complain about it.
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seraphjewel · 5 months ago
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Star Trek Prodigy Season 2 thoughts
This show is everything I love about Star Trek. It may be produced by Nickelodeon, but it doesn't dumb anything down just because it's "for kids." I love how none of the main characters are humans, which not only takes advantage of being animated to give us cool alien designs, but also acts as a great visual for Starfleet's ideals. It's visually stunning and the writing is superb. It gives a season-spanning story while also making time for those wacky space shenanigans we expect from the franchise. It's funny, it's creative, it's heartfelt, it's emotionally powerful. The season finales for both the first and second season had me in tears.
Aside from adding to the chorus begging people to watch season 2, I'm just going to share some thoughts on this season. I tried so hard to watch it slowly but it's easy to binge. I'm now watching through it a second time. Cut for spoilers.
As a fan of the older Trek shows, I love how much the show clearly loves older Trek. We saw it a lot in season one, but since season 2 has the legacy characters in more prominent focus, it's more obvious. They are written with such loving care, every part of who they are is nailed down perfectly. There are so many callbacks and references and small touches that are scattered in the dialogue and visuals. Amazing Easter Eggs for Trek enthusiasts-- and another reason to go back and watch, to find ones you didn't notice!
This season made me much more interested in Chakotay and Wesley as characters. I was pretty ambivalent toward them both when watching their respective shows. I didn't find Wesley annoying, I just didn't care for him one way or the other. So having him return as this slightly unhinged Time Lord made him so much more appealing to me as a character. The fact that he was willing to go to some extreme lengths in order to get the timeline just right was some fun gray morality. I also liked that he seemed like he wasn't always sure when he was in the timeline. It reminded me of Mantis in the Guardians of the Galaxy game. And that made perfect sense coming from someone who could jump through multiple timelines just through thought. Wesley was complex, intriguing, and I'm so glad for him and his actor. He deserved it.
In a similar vein, Chakotay was one of the least interesting Voyager crew members to me. This isn't necessarily his fault. He was going up against some pretty big personalities, like the Doctor, Tom, B'Elanna, Seven, and Janeway. I also don't think the writers really knew what to do with his character. But again Prodigy wrote in some depth and complexity. They actually identified what tribe he was from. Watching the episode where the Protostar crew finds him made me want to write fanfic about Chakotay. That's how good they were at making this guy interesting for me! I loved seeing his slow descent into isolation and bitterness; I loved how almost insecure he was at times; I loved how he took command and led the crew. I'm a fan now and I want to go back to watch Voyager for him.
The season also made me a Janeway/Chakotay shipper. I saw the episodes in Voyager where they were feeling things, but personally I'm glad that they never crossed that line. There are way too many stories with female leads that act like they have an obligation to give her a romance, when the same would not be true if the lead was a male. In my opinion, it was better there was no definite love story for Janeway on Voyager since that was going against expectations. As Prodigy season two told its story, I was definitely picking up on strong love vibes between Chakotay and Janeway. I was convinced they were separated lovers, and when they were together they couldn't keep their eyes or hands off each other. It was excellent visual storytelling. I wanted them to be together at the end. For someone who didn't ship them before (I was more into Tom/B'Elanna), I'd say that's a big achievement for the show.
To sum up, I love this show so much! My only request is they try to incorporate Deep Space Nine somehow. #SetCoordinatesforSeason3
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thesinglesjukebox · 4 months ago
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LUKE COMBS - "AIN'T NO LOVE IN OKLAHOMA"
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You're doing mid, Oklahoma...
[5.62]
Ian Mathers: This goes so much harder than anything from Twisters: The Album ought to that it verges on false advertising. [8]
Julian Axelrod: There are two songs on the Twisters soundtrack with "Oklahoma" in the title. Lainey Wilson's "Out of Oklahoma" is a tender, conflicted ballad that underlines both our heroine Kate's complicated feelings toward her hometown and Daisy Edgar-Jones's complicated feelings toward American accents. On the other end of the spectrum is Luke Combs's "Ain't No Love in Oklahoma," a big honking stomper that blares out of YouTube storm chaser Tyler's truck every time he drives into frame. "Out of Oklahoma" is a much better song, but "Ain't No Love in Oklahoma" feels truer to the movie around it: unapologetically dumb, unfathomably huge, and completely uninterested in weather science. In a way, Luke Combs is the Glen Powell of the Twisters soundtrack: He feels it, he rides it, he secures the bag. [6]
Katherine St. Asaph: You know what they say about the weather in Oklahoma (and every other state with a version of this adage): if you don't like how badass a song about it sounds, wait two minutes. [4]
Tim de Reuse: My bona fides: I grew up in tornado alley, a stone's throw from the same Red River that Combs is caterwauling about here, and I spent every spring and summer hiding in basements and bathrooms with a battery-powered radio whenever the sirens turned on. If you're going to write an aggressive, regionally-themed country belter, then the theme of middle-American inclement weather gives you a lot to work with! A skinny little fuck-you from heaven that selectively plucks entire neighborhoods off the map, terrifying in its unpredictability but boring in its yearly ritualization -- you could say a lot there about vice, adrenaline, self-destruction, or maybe just the texture of life in Oklahoma itself. But outside of a few lines that explicitly reference storm-chasing, ostensibly added out of contractual obligation, it's Combs-by-numbers, albeit with a soundtrack-ass hard-rock production job that bounces off his voice completely. If someone else had gotten this paycheck they might have accidentally done something interesting. [4]
Nortey Dowuona: Not bad, just not good. Doesn't tell me anything about who you are, or what you feel. [6]
Alfred Soto: I want my tornado songs to sound like sax solos on Stooges tracks or to depict romantic entanglement like this forgotten 1996 beauty. Luke Combs doesn't sound like a windstorm -- he blows hot air like a MAGA on a street corner. [3]
Taylor Alatorre: There were probably discussions at some point about wanting to learn from the mistakes of "Humans Being," which is unfortunate because "Humans Being" is Van Hagar at their messy, pissed-off best, mixing chaos and composure in a way that perfectly mirrors the characters on screen. Combs's paean to the perils of storm chasing is more deliberate in its pacing and more literal in its writing, while still leaving enough lyrical wiggle room for those who really do just want the tornadoes to be metaphors. The focus on duality and ambivalence is appropriate for a disaster film in which the disaster is both sought out and avoided in equal measure. And if the tough-talking country-rock grit scans as generic upon first listen, those few seconds of breathing room after each verse offer both variety and a hint of the “silent extreme” that Hagar spoke of. [7]
Jonathan Bradley: As unnecessary as making a sequel to Twister and at least as gloriously obvious as titling it Twisters. In recent years, the distortion pedal has been cause for concern in country music, not because it's a sign of inauthenticity or any of that guff but because Nashville wields it like a dumb man with an oversized truck: as an easy marker of lunkish masculinity that's never actually used to get anything from A to B — wit, wordplay, weltanschauung. "Ain't No Love in Oklahoma" sounds like that type of thing, but Luke Combs matches the storm-sized riff with roaring intensity. The lyrics about chasing the devil down a Sooner State highway don't get deep or dark enough to suggest any actual hell is being raised, but this is a song off the soundtrack of a summer blockbuster; it's enough to kick moderate quantities of ass. [7]
[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]
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bongo-clash · 1 year ago
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TWs for: Death, mentions of illness/poison, implied panic attack/flashbacks, and extremely botched ecto-science
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The Justice League has known Phantom for a while, now. They’ve fought beside him in several battles in the year, and he’s handled every one of them with an inhuman efficiency and grace. His power-set is strange and extensive, but he’s taught them more about the Infinite Realms than any of Constantine’s tomes ever could. About its history, its cultures; about a particular kind of ectoplasmic corruption that only comes with exposure to oxygen.
It’s this particular detail that Batman remembers, when—after years in sort-of remission—Jason’s eyes glow lurid green, and the tidal wave of the Pit’s rage returns. 
It’s hard, to express that level trust, especially with his kid’s safety on the line (one he’s already lost before, that he can’t lose again. Can’t, can’t, can’t). But really, it’s either Phantom or the League of Assassin’s—a group that certainly doesn’t have a great track record of doing right by his children—so Bruce bucks up the most difficult kind of courage, and approaches the other hero after a debriefing. 
“Phantom,” He calls out, just as everyone’s leaving. His hands are clasping the back of the chair he’s risen from; one of his older tactics for preventing visible tremors. “Stay behind for a moment. We need to talk.”
Phantom’s shoulders draw in on themselves just slightly as he waves goodbye to the rest of the group, drifting back towards the meeting table with a sheepish smile on his face. He crosses his legs in the air as he says “Man, I feel like I’ve just been sent to the principal’s office. Am I in trouble?”
Despite the tension lining Bruce’s heart, he almost finds it funny. “You’ve done nothing wrong, Phantom. I just wanted to ask for your input on something.”
“Wait, really?” The hero perks up, neon-sign eyes shining. “The big ol’ Batman wants my help with something? I mean—sure, Bats, what’s up?”
Batman doesn’t allow himself the luxury of hesitance, and speaks before he can even think of sighing. “A few weeks ago, you mentioned your belief in the presence of large sources of corrupted ectoplasm on earth. I want your input on the potential effects of this ectoplasm on a living being.”
Even before Phantom replies, it’s obvious the answer isn’t a good one—based purely on the way the ghost’s eyes turn wide and nervous. “A- a living being? Well, um, I don’t—look, ectoplasm in its most basic form is an obligate anaerobe, right? And corrupted ectoplasm comes from a natural portal destabilising, and oxygen breaking through the initial protective layer. So, you’ve got a sort-of-maybe-sentient—kind of depends—oxygen-poisoned anaerobe getting—what, absorbed into a fully living being? If they’ve had no prior exposure to ectoplasm, then best case scenario’s probably death, Bats.” 
But Jason isn’t dead. And Jason won’t be. 
“…What about a living being who has had prior ectoplasmic exposure?”
He looks at Bruce like he’s hoping this is a hypothetical, but knows with Batman it never is. “So, like, a medium, or…?” Batman only stares. The sigh the ghost gives says more than it should, given he doesn’t need to breathe. “It’s… Batman, if you’re telling me right now that there’s someone out there with even a little bit of a dependancy on ectoplasm, with corrupted ectoplasm in their system—then you need to take me to them. I can’t have any idea how serious this is without more context.”
This isn’t what Bruce had wanted to hear at all. He’d wanted everything to be okay; he’d wanted Phantom to wave him away with a laugh and say it’ll filter itself out on its own in a couple years’ time- and sure, fine, he’d have pushed to the ends of the earth for evidence of that claim, but at least it would have been a little bit reassuring. Jason could be—
No. Jason will be fine. Phantom just needs more context. 
“Friday, 10pm.” Batman finally bites out, and sweeps out of the room with all the steel and confidence of a man who will not be losing his son. 
-
To his credit, Phantom does actually show up on Friday, despite the fact that Bruce hadn’t actually confirmed that Friday would be okay. He’s shuffling his feet like they’re touching the ground hands fiddling with the straps of the backpack he’s wearing, and when he looks up, says nothing at all. Taking the silence for what it is, Batman leads him to the Zeta.
Surprisingly, it hadn’t been all that difficult to convince Jason to show up. Though he tried to hide it, he was worried about Pit, too; he’d described it to them, a few times, that sludge-like haze that took him over, nausea in places that couldn’t be nauseous—he wanted it gone just as much as they did. More than they did, probably. When Bruce had told him someone in the Justice League might know what to do, he’d barely even complained about clearing his schedule for the night.
Phantom takes one look at Bruce’s son, and promptly blanches. 
“Holy shit. Dude, that has to hurt so bad.” Seeming stuck between getting closer and coiling away, Phantom looks at Batman, and then at the Red Hood, back forth. 
Bruce can’t take his eyes off Jason, for all that he can’t see an expression from beneath the helmet. “What is that supposed to mean?” Batman asks, barely refraining from a growl. 
“It’s—you’re like, the closest thing to a revenant a guy can get without being a revenant and, y’know, forming a core. You’ve got some natural ecto in you, but it’s completely swamped by the corruption trying to breach it.”
Jason doesn’t move, but Bruce can see the way his fists clench and unclench at his sides, trying to look relaxed and perhaps succeeding to Phantom, but not his father. “Right, yeah, cool. That’s great,” Red Hood replies, voice made forcibly neutral by the helmet’s modulator. “Laymen’s terms, if you’d be so obliged?”
Phantom shrugs, also trying to look causal- but, unlike Jason, both of them can tell he’s uncomfortable. “Okay, so we’ll call the ectoplasm death energy. You’ve got some of your own—which means you’ve either died, got really close, or you were exposed to natural death energy some other way—and you had that before you came into contact with a corrupted source of death energy. But then you came intocontact with this corrupted death energy, and it got absorbed into your system. If you had a core, which is this thing that ghosts have, that would be, like, urgently bad. It’d basically rot your core once the corruption reached it and you’d cease to exist without intervention.”
He pauses for a second there, just to let them absorb that information before continuing. “As it is, you don’t have a core, so the corrupted ectoplasm- sorry, death energy- isn’t going to kill you or anything. But it’s definitely not good for you. You need oxygen to live, obviously—the natural energy makes you kind of a microaerophile, but we don’t need to worry about that right now, because the corrupted energy is an obligate anaerobe that’s already been poisoned by oxygen contact, and it’s trying to take over the energy you already have to save itself. But… it can’t save itself. All it can do is just keep clinging on so it doesn’t rot away completely. Your energy is renewing itself enough that the corruption isn’t going to rot you by extension, but you can probably feel it doing something, can’t you?”
Jason, apparently, decides this is a ‘helmet-off’ kind of conversation now (he only does that when he finds it hard to breathe; Bruce wishes he could make this easier on his boy—), and releases the catches on the back of his hood with a mechanical hiss. 
“I get angry.” He admits carefully, trying to keep his expression blank. “It feels like somethin’ in me starts rebelling against itself, and I end up lashing out at everything. It… yeah, it does hurt.”
“I’m so sorry I didn’t know about this sooner.” Phantom says, tone soft. 
Red Hood waves him off immediately. “Not your fault. But, you’re here now; can you do anything about it, or is this just somethin’ that’s gonna have to run its course, or whatever?”
“I can separate it,” Phantom answers quickly, reassuring. “It’s trying to cling, but it isn’t actually part of you. The corruption can be removed. The only thing is just, y’know…”
“Know what?” Batman says, suddenly nervous; thrilled beyond beliefto hear that his son won’t have to suffer anymore, but dreading getting his hopes up. Dreading the but.
The ghost looks back at him. “I think I mentioned that normal ectoplasm can be a little bit sentient? Or, well, gain sentience?” Batman nods stiffly, Jason’s glitch between stilling and fidgeting. “Yeah, it’s been clinging to you for a while; this stuff’s probably going to come out as a ghost of its own, and I highly doubt it’s going to be friendly.”
Jason stares. “But you said the stuff can’t exist without leeching off me?”
“Yeah,” Phantom nods, something unpleasant on the tip of his tongue. “It won’t last long without you, but it might try to attack, or reabsorb. You can’t let it reabsorb.”
“Figured that, yeah.” Red Hood scoffs. “We doing this now, or what?”
Phantom hesitates, but assents. “I’ve got some gear in my bag. We can do it as soon as you’re ready.”
It takes them a few minutes to get kitted up. Phantom shows them the spectre-deflectors—explaining how he’ll separate the corrupted ectoplasm from Jason, and how he’ll have to put the deflector on immediately after to prevent the corruption from reabsorbing—with Batman wearing one too, just in case. Phantom can defend himself just fine, and the corruption will likely only take a few minutes to completely fade. They don’t even need anything else.
Jason is looking around like he can barely believe what’s about to happen and, quite frankly, Bruce can hardly comprehend it himself. Jason’s struggled with the Pit Madness for years, and to have an option to get rid of it, once and for all? It’s like a dream Bruce never wants to wake up from; he’s wished for this for years. He’s wanted so desperately for his son to be happy without something looming in the shadows, and all at once, it’ll finally be over.
When Phantom asks if they’re both ready, it takes only half a moment to push past the surreality of it all and say yes. Red Hood readies his deflector, and with one crack of his knuckles, Phantom reaches through the man’s chest, and pulls something out. 
…Someone. Phantom pulls someone out of Jason’s chest. 
Someone red, and yellow, and green, and crying. 
Oh God. Oh God.
Jason doesn’t even look up until his deflector’s secured, and Bruce is so, so glad his own was fastened long beforehand, because it’d have dropped from his hands the moment his eyes fell on white-out domino. He’d expected the corruption to look like a monster; Batman had been prepared to steel himself in the face of an incorrigible beast trying its damnedest to cling to his son. He hadn’t expected, not even for a moment, that the leech poisoning his kid would look like a little boy. 
The one he lost in a warehouse five years ago. 
He wants to call out to Jason not to lift his gaze, but like a film in slow motion, his son’s head raises, and his whole body freezes, twitching back like he’s been doused in cold water. He stares like he’s seeing everything, and nothing at all.
Robin—the corruption, turns to Phantom with a snarl on his lips (Its lips. Its. He cannot think of this like his son. He cannot think of this like his son when Jason is right there in front of him). 
“YOU!”It roars, in Jason’s scratchy fifteen-year-old pitch, shooting over to Phantom with its tiny, green-gloved fists clenched tight enough to creak. He hadn’t known it would be able to speak. “What did you do?!”
Phantom looks as if he’s about to say something, but the corruption’s attention has already been diverted. His (its, its, its) eyes are set on Jason. 
“Why did you-?” It cries out, choking on its own tears, face contorting into a grief and an anger Bruce had never seen on his son’s face until it was too late, rushing towards him. Jason takes a stumbling few steps back—and he isn’t fast enough to avoid the corruption’s reach—but it doesn’t matter anyway, because the spectre deflector lights up, and the ghost wails as the shock reaches it. The electricity seems to destabilise it, too; its form glitches and seems to melt a little. 
Bruce feels sick. This corruption that was trying to kill his son is heaving huge, gasping sobs, falling apart at the seams, and Bruce feels like he’s about to throw up. “What’s happening?” He croaks. “It-it hurts, I don’t understand.”
And then it turns its see-through little head to Bruce, teardrops rolling down splotchy cheeks still round with baby fat, and his heart drops right through his stomach and out to the other side of the earth.
“…Dad?”
No.
Bruce stumbles backwards, whole body trembling like his chest’s the epicentre of a personal earthquake, barely saved from falling by a weak grip on the Batcomputer chair. He wants to look away, but all he can see is his baby’s crestfallen face, dying all over again, and he doesn’t want to see this but he can’t stop watching.
The ghost lurches forward again and this time, Phantom silently flicks a hand out, and some kind of green forcefield forms around it. The silhouette of his fifteen-year-old son beats at the shield. His cries are muffled by it, but Bruce can still hear them. He can’t help but think that this is what Jason sounded like in Ethiopia, crying out for a father than would never get there in time. His son’s dying all over again, and he’s just standing there.
“Let him out.” Bruce pleads, voice rasping. “We have to save him.” He can see it through the green tinge of the barrier: Jason’s fading fast. The tips of his fingers and pixie boots are disappearing into thin air. 
Phantom turns to him with utter devastation in his eyes. “Bats, that’s not Jason.” He says, just as the twenty-year-old son that came back tumbles knees-first onto the floor, head leaning forward until his forehead touches stone. It’s the smallest he’s ever seen him in the last five years. 
That’s what snaps him out of it, if only for a moment. He falls over himself reaching for Jason, curling around him like a blanket of kevlar and heartbreak. This close to his son’s head, he can hear the quiet hiccuping of tears. 
They sit there, for the world’s most unbearable two minutes, as a version of his son pretending to be his son sobs and screams and falls apart. Bruce’s surroundings blur between the cave and a warehouse on the horizon, shimmering like a mirage under a hot African sun—his son is right here, safe in his hold, but he’s dying over and over, infinitely again, and Bruce can never stop it. 
Two minutes later, the world rings out with “Dad, I’m sorry!” and a muted scream, before silence is the only thing that’s left. 
Phantom gives his boy a completely clean bill of health, promises that his uncorrupted ectoplasm will sustain itself just fine without any further intervention, and leaves the moment Batman asks him to. 
Jason is free from the corruption that had been draining him like a leech for the last five years, and so long as he doesn’t go back to the Pit, he’ll be free of it for the rest of his life. He won’t have to hurt people with an anger he can’t control anymore; Bruce will no longer have to watch his son suffer from a rot welling deep within him ever again. 
This should be one of the happiest days of his life. But that night, he and his second oldest walk to a hill with a tombstone at its peak, hiding beneath the shade of a yew tree; neither of them acknowledge that the other is crying beyond the barest glimpse of fingertips ghosting together. 
In time, this will be a good day, but the relief comes later. For now, they sit down beside each other, worlds away, and don’t move until the sun rises the next morning.
(Jason apologises to a boy he will never be again—that he left in a coffin and never took with him—and Bruce apologises to son he could never save in time. In the end, the only evidence they have of their grief at all is a phantom scream in the wells of their ears, and a stone on the top of a hill with nothing underneath it at all.)
Short DPXDC Prompts #770
Danny cures Jason’s pit madness.. only issue is the pit madness reforms as an evil ghost
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shuhey-hisagi · 4 years ago
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Espada request! Have any general and relationship hcs for Grimmjow?
Grimmjow was my biggest crush in middle school lol
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General headcanons:
Okay, so Grimmjow was a panther-esque hollow before he became an espada, so I heavily believe he displays a number of panther-like behaviors. (Though, I do love the cat headcanons for him- they are so funny). So, going off this...
Grimmjow has a booming voice. He’s not necessarily loud, though he can be if needed. His voice can carry through and be heard from great distances. It’s extremely powerful and brings anyone in its vicinity to alertness. If anyone didn’t know, panthers usually use their vocals to maintain their home ranges and ensure their solitude. Grimmjow will be a little shit and use this vocal power to keep others from approaching him. 
Despite his powerful voice, Grimmjow is quite a stealthy individual. He’s silently prowling about at all times, and unless he wants his presence to be known, it will stay that way. He has a light tread and normally just goes about his business for hours before anyone has the chance to notice. He’s not extremely aware of this, and has been caught by surprise when others display mass shock when he lets himself be known. 
He values his solitude. He doesn’t need to be around others unless he is close to them. His Fracción are a good example of this. Though Grimmjow prefers to be alone, he thought of them as members of his family or pack when he was an adjuchas. To this point, he didn’t complain about their presence unless they were particularly annoying him. 
Going off the previous point, Grimmjow harbors powerful feelings of protectiveness for his Fracción and any other person he deems important to him. He expects these people to hold their own and not need his protection at all times, but if there are. threats, he is naturally inclined to straighten himself and become an obvious obstacle for said threat. 
Climbing trees and scaling walls is a secret habit of his for when he’s restless. He sees a climbable surface and is obligated to go see if he can get to the top. He will leave in the middle of conversations just to climb a tower. He also likes to isolate himself in these areas, especially since they are hard to get access for others. 
He breaks his nails often when he’s not using his hierro. It’s a bad habit of his to be more intense than necessary at times and it comes at the cost of ripping off his poor nails from the bone. He can be found with bandages around his fingers a lot of the time.
Though he might not seem it, Grimmjow can make use of his brain when he wants to. It’s useful when he wants to solve a puzzle someone gave him from the world of the living or for determining the amount of time and effort it would take to scale a particular building. 
He talks so much when he’s tired and near someone who will listen. Ask him a question, and he’ll go on forever about his opinions. His thought process is muddled and he makes connections where others wouldn’t, so it’s always interesting to hear what he has to say. The more tired he is, the more convoluted his reasoning becomes.
When visiting the World of the Living, he often stays with Kisuke just as a formality, since the latter wishes to learn more about Grimmjow’s constitution. Grimmjow does loiter around the Kurosaki residence in hopes of fighting Ichigo, but this backfires when Ichigo starts inviting him in and slowly conditions a friendship (though, Grimmjow will never call it so). 
Relationship headcanons:
Let me preface this by saying It’s both difficult to get his attention but pretty easy to get his attention. Grimmjow is someone who is guarded and won’t allow just anyone to et close to him. 
It goes without saying that he is attracted to people who display immense strength, mental and physical. He can’t stand people that act meek and helpless. To him, that’s a sign of weakness and lack of will to survive. He needs someone who can put up a fight while also putting him in his place. His instinct from his time as a lesser hollow and even now as an Espada tend to drive this feeling. 
One also needs to consider that Grimmjow is simply an asshole who will do a lot just to make someone’s life hell. He doesn’t take others’ feelings seriously unless he is particularly invested in them and wants to gain something from them. 
It takes him a long time to decide he wants to be with someone mostly because as an Espada there wasn’t much in way of relationships. Yes, some did become close with others and have intimate relationships, but Grimmjow was not one of them. He’s aware of the practices, but it never felt organic to him. 
To get his attention, one would have to work quite little but have a lot of confidence to execute the actions that would be notable for him. Petting the back of his head when he does something right, making sure to greet him when he’s part of a gathering and secluding himself, and making active attempts to check in with him are all small but important ways of standing out to him. 
The first time you pet his hair, he twists back with the most angry expression and is ready to knock you away. However, once he realizes there’s no threat, he’s like a deer in headlights wondering why you would mess with his hair.
He looks forward to you visiting Kisuke’s shop so that you can say hi to him and ask him what he’s been doing. He usually won’t answer with more than two phrases, but it’s nice for someone to ask him. 
Grimmjow does have a tendency to offer you gifts. Usually the severed hands of your enemies, but it’s something.
I’m kidding.
Mostly.
But he does enjoy bringing you trinkets, such as jewelry or a safety charm he found. He’s not the best with gifts, and usually relies on just bringing you food or practical items. For example, if you ever need a pen, he’s carrying one on him at all times. He’s kind of like a cat in this regard- just bringing you whatever he deems a worthy offering.
Any shows of affection cause him to freeze in the beginning. He can’t remember if he experienced it back when he was a human, and there was no way he experienced it during his time after. He’s relearning affection, which is an interesting journey. 
To that point, he rests his head near you when he wants you to play with his hair. He’ll lay on your shoulder when you work just to be near you. He often has a hard time gauging how much force to put into a hug, so he’ll hold you too tight, but the happiness from him making the first move almost makes it okay. He also moves in to quickly for kisses, leading to smashing your foreheads and noses together, and in more awkward cases, bashing your teeth against each other. 
He’s trying
Grimmjow is casual about showing his possession over you near others. He doesn’t make a point of it to be affectionate around them, but if he hasn’t seen you in a while and you show up, he’s more than willing to dip you and deeply kiss you before moving on with his day. He likes when he holds your hand and put it in his jacket pocket when walking. 
He’s pretty playful and enjoys wrestling in bed. If he can tickle you while holding you down, he’s going to do so. It goes back to his nature as a hollow- he’s just a little mischievous even if he won’t admit it. Feeling you under him and seeing you laugh while trying to escape is extremely exciting for him. He might even chuckle a few times himself, and not in his usual maniacal manner.
He’s not the best communicator, and it falls on you to figure out why he’s in a mood if he even shows a sign of being upset. Usually he will isolate himself, but since you two are close, he’s naturally inclined to express his mood. He can snap at you and express himself harshly, which can be an obstacle in your relationship. 
Grimmjow isn’t a mean partner. In fact, he’s pretty accommodating and lets you do things at your own pace as long as you respect his need for space and unwillingness to share his every thought. 
He likes making sure you’re safe. He likes teasing you to the point where you attempt to strangle him. He likes that he’s feelings something other than a need to fight someone and cause problems. 
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balmasedas · 4 years ago
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dearly departed. /
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(gif is not mine).
PAIRING: din djarin x force sensitive!f-reader.
SUMMARY: au of 2x8 where reader exists instead of grogu (i'm sorry, baby).
WARNINGS: very slight description of torture, violence and blood. major angst.
WORD COUNT: 5k.
——————————————————————————
One day felt like a year.
A week onboard the light cruiser was hell and Moff Gideon was proven to be worse than the devil.
You’d barely slept and hunger constantly gripped your belly. You didn’t felt the urge to scream or to even beg for help, those instincts were long dead by now.
They were fascinated. A real Jedi or, at the very least, a live one, still yet to be properly trained (if you managed to survive this). So it wasn’t a surprise that because of their evil nature and in the name of “curiosity” you were obliged to use the Force until you fainted, over and over again. 
It was a tragedy. In search of what would’ve been your home, you had found one with Din Djarin; and now the memories you'd learned to cherish seemed so far away in time that you started to doubt your mind.
(,,,)
Din sat against a rock; while you rested your back against his chest and between his legs. Just the two of you, the sound of the crackling fire and endless stars above your heads. You felt so little and yet, at the same time, that there was nothing that could stop you from conquering the entire galaxy.
“You got this.” his modulated voice came out lower than usual. 
“Sh!” you silenced him with a half-smile. Your hand was extended, just a couple of meters away a small rock floated in the air, slowly approaching you. You’d tried it at least a dozen times and this one, you decided, would be the last. 
Silence crept over you both. Too expectant to breathe for a few seconds. 
You were certain, so confident. Then, fear invaded you. Your hand started to shake and so did the rock. You could feel yourself slowly losing control, anticipating a seemingly inevitable failure. You didn’t trust your power, having always been relegated to abandoning your true identity for your own (and everyone’s) safety. 
Luckily, Din did have hope in you, and although he respected your wishes of quietness during this moment, it didn’t mean he couldn’t try to ease your mind through other means. After all, the Mandalorian felt more comfortable with actions than he felt with words. 
So he snuck his hand beneath your hair and softly rubbed his thumb behind your ear, a soothing caress he often offered when you needed comfort.
It wasn’t a revelation that then, and only then, you felt enough peace to stabilize the Force and finally close your hand around the object.
“Oh!” both your eyes and mouth were wide open. You half turned towards Din — you were drunk in elation, still not wanting to miss the warmness of his body. “I got it!” you burst. You met his visor, but you could sense his eyes on you. 
“What did I say?” he spoke. “You got this.”
You got this. 
You got this.
“I got this,” you mumbled, trying to hold on to comforting words carefully sheltered in your head.
You had been a prisoner of your own body for over a week now. Traveling only from your cell to the room you were currently held and vice versa. Having to extend your arm obediently when you were told so and use your powers as well. 
Truth be told, there was nothing else you could do, except trying to keep your mind busy and start processing the facts: there were no (nor there would be) allies to your cause. You were alone and whatever the remains of the Empire had in store for you was still yet to be revealed. 
Din would come for you, you were sure of that, but some hopeless part of your now broken soul was unsure he’d make it in time.
The door from your cell opened. A couple of troopers marched towards you. Between them, the man in the white coat you’d regularly seen since your arrival. He introduced himself by squeezing your arm, it was supposed to be gentle. 
He wouldn't have done the same if you weren't cuffed and strapped into a stretcher. You thought about breaking free. Your hands around his neck, fear instead of the cockiness his eyes currently harbored. 
The urge was sharp and violent and you enjoyed it while it lasted.
“How are you doing?” Like shit. You remained impassible. 
He opened a case he’d been carrying and laid out the contents on a tray next to the bed. You knew what it was, you wish you didn’t. Needles of different sizes, scalpers, and syringes. 
You winced when he took a needle and fitted it into a large syringe.
He smiled at you. "Be a good girl and stay still, will you?"
Fuck you. “Okay.” Even though you complied, both troopers were ordered to hold you down.
As usual, every movement from that moment was processed in slow motion. The doctor hovering the needle just a few millimeters over your skin, then, the hard cold steel piercing it. First a pinch; as it went deeper, burn; then ache. You wanted to trash but you couldn’t. 
Your vision swam, and your head went thick. “It’s done.” was the last thing you heard before you blacked out. 
(,,,)
“Are you seeing anything? Or are they supposed to see you?” Din queried, looking around.
You were sitting on top of the Seeing stone, drowned in confusion just like him. Still, you couldn’t help but giggle at his obvious deduction from the name of the place where you currently were.
“Yes, I-” you trailed off and furrowed your brows as you watched him thoroughly inspecting the rock. He was quiet, his thoughts were loud. Or maybe you just knew him too well by then. “… I see you” you tilted your head, reformulating your sentence into a question, “Are you searching for an interrupter, Din?”
He straightened his body and immediately backed away from it “No,” he was quick to deny. You kept your eyes fixated on him, and then a ghost of a smile appeared on your face. Finally, he corrected himself after a defeated sigh, “Yes.” he confessed.
You chuckled. You could’ve kissed him by then, if only you had the chance. 
“I wish Ahsoka Tano would’ve told me more, but that’s not how it works.” 
The Force seemed to be much more complex than you originally thought. And the Jedi you met in Corvus day’s ago should’ve cleared many things —instead, she baffled you, even more, shifting her entire demeanor when she sensed your connection with the Mandalorian. 
Now, you were supposed to make contact with another Jedi without knowing how. 
Din didn’t answer. He had left the previous planet just as frustrated as you, if not more. 
“Well, look at the bright side—” you were cut by the sound of a ship circling the area. Both of you were immediately alarmed by its presence. Din ran to the edge of the mountain and followed it closely with his eyes. An attack craft was no good news. As much as he wished to complete the mission, there was no way he’d risk your safety. Both of you could come back later, he assumed.
He called your name, walking backward. “Time’s up, we gotta go.” he stopped abruptly when he finally turned around and saw you. He’d never seen anything of similar nature. 
Your eyes were shut, strands of your hair floated like feathers in the breeze. Some kind of force shield had been erected around you. He screamed for you again. “Hey! Snap out of it, we gotta get out of here.” but wherever your mind was, it was far away from Tython now.
He even tried to pass through the force shield only to be violently expelled from it.
He grunted. The floor beneath him was hard, the realization he made hit harder: there was no way he could reach you. 
His desperation only could grow when he spotted an unknown subject leaving the craft. “Dank Farrik!” he cursed. His hands were closed in tight fists, his gaze lingered on you. Leaving you was his last preference, he’d promised you he’d never do it until you were safe but it became the only viable option. 
He had no power to interfere in whatever was happening to you up there, but he could take care of the problem on the bottom of that mountain.
Din pulled his blaster from the holder. “I’ll see if I can buy you some time.” he doubted you could hear him, but still he tried. “Can you please hurry up?” there was hesitation in his movement, his steps were slow and uncertain. Walking away from you had never felt so wrong, and yet he had no other choice if he wanted to protect you.
He would later learn that fear, desolation, and regret were very possible and present emotions in him as he could only stand and see the dark troopers taking you away. 
(,,,)
The first thing you noticed when you woke up was your handcuffs.
The second thing was the light reflecting off them. 
Your glance flickered from the Dark saber to Moff Gideon and then to the person he was talking to. 
Until that moment, you weren’t sure if you were awake or hallucinating. But then everything became so real. His armor, his voice. As exhausted as you were, you took your time to caress Din with your eyes. 
He was alive. Whole. Here.
You were in a dream.
He, on the other hand, sensed that his nightmare was far from over. 
“You can keep it, I just want her,” he assured. The object of dispute between Moff Gideon and Bo-Katan had never sparked any interest in him. You were his only priority and his original quest had been long forgotten by then. 
The Moff stood in silence, seemingly analyzing the proposal.
“Very well, I already got what I wanted from her.” he addressed. “All I wanted was to study her blood. You see, the girl is extremely gifted. And has been a blast with rare properties that have the potential to bring order to the galaxy.” 
Din anchored his attention on you. All this talking did nothing but disturb him even more. You were so close and so far. Shut up, he wanted to say. 
Instead, he remained quiet. 
“I see your bond with her.” Din heard it before. Did he also believe what you both had it was dangerous? He didn’t wish or care to know. “Take her. But you will leave my ship immediately and we will go separate ways.”
If Din nodded, you missed it. He took cautious steps towards you. Your heart started to race in anticipation. You could already taste a decent glass of water, the sun kissing your skin, and the end of what was once an endless agony. 
You extended your hand for him to take it. He was only a meter away. 
It seemed so easy.
It would’ve been so easy.
But Moff Gideon bared only greed and darkness in his soul. He surrendered to no one, let alone a Mandalorian.
“No!” your scream ripped through your throat when you saw the Dark saber hovering over Din’s head. He was quick enough to block the hit and the ones that followed after, but the Moff was insatiable and they both disappeared into the hall.
You tugged at the cuffs, trying to get them off but it was impossible. Not when they were neutralizing your power. You were too weak to run, yet you still launched yourself at the door. 
Your legs instantly gave in. You let out a hard groan but didn't stop to recover from the blow. You instantly laid your body on a side and with the own weight of your arms you started dragging yourself on the floor. 
You had no visuals on Gideon and Din, still, the sound of the black saber colliding against beskar outside the room brought you some sense of calm.
They were still fighting, there was still time.
You just had to crawl a little bit more.
But the hallway seemed miles away, you were tired and you'd barely reached the doorframe when all fell silent.
"D–" your voice died before finishing the sentence. The thought of calling him and not receiving an answer infested your mind like a parasite. You wouldn’t survive that memory. 
A rush of adrenaline took over your body, you started moving once again. Frightened, but not hopeless —not yet. 
If Din hadn’t... If Din—
You would make sure to make Gideon pay. Maybe not with your mind, maybe with your own bare hands.
But your revenge would have to wait a few more minutes because someone blocked your path before you could reach the hallway.
Your eyes fixed over the boots in your line of vision. Where those his? You should’ve paid more attention to his clothes. If you did, you wouldn’t be trembling in fear. If you did, you would’ve instantly knew it was him, instead of waiting until he kneeled and reached for you.
He whispered your name. So loving and familiar. So soft it almost went unnoticed. 
Your lips pursed into a tight line, your eyes were filled to the brim with tears. You didn’t want to cry. But your heart felt heavy and all that pain you had accumulated those days had to go somewhere.
It was inevitable to break down. To weep and shake as your thoughts bounced between what could've happened and what didn't.
Din seemed to sense this when he asserted, "I'm here." He quickly took care of the cuffs. You find relief around your wrist, but the pressure didn't seem to budge on your chest. “I’m here.” 
There, on the cold surface of that cell, he hugged you for all the days he couldn’t.
One arm went around your back, his other hand rested against your head, fitting you against his body. You buried your face against his chest. He drew his fingers along the curve of your neck.
The well-known gesture felt completely different. Whereas before the calming effects of it were exclusively destined to you, it seemed that now it was he who needed it the most. He needed to make sure you were there. That you were real, alive, and well.
You vocalized your thoughts once you found the strength to do so, "I thought I lost you."
Din’s arms tightened around you, solid and warm. His heart would’ve broken right there if it weren’t filled with happiness. Your voice was the same. It was home. "No. I'm too stubborn to leave you." had you had the strength to chuckle, you would have. 
You slowly raised your head and, for the first time, observed past his shoulder. You immediately regretted your decision. In the hallway, Moff Gideon laid against the wall, now in shackles, looking straight into your eyes. There was a smirk plastered on his face. 
Din side-glanced the floor. The handcuffs, from which he had freed you, started to shake. Your back, once hunched and languid, was now rigid under his embrace. 
“No,” he muttered. He separated and took your face between his hands. “Look at me.” you ignored him and focused on the man behind him. Gideon’s brow furrowed, his cockiness slowly fading away —the air in his lungs too. "Cyar’ika.” the whisper came out as a plead. His helmet blocked your vision now, his gloved thumbs slid over your cheeks. You blinked the lashes that framed your eyes. They would’ve looked innocent on anyone else. “Don’t. He can’t hurt you no more.” his voice was gentle and reassuring. You believed him. 
He wouldn't hurt you, but he could –and would– hurt Din if given the chance. 
That terrified you, and it was something you couldn't forgive or forget.
Din was waiting for an answer, so you gave him one, “Alright.” Moff Gideon would just have to wait.
You both stared at each other for a moment. You hoped your answer was convincing enough to buy Din's calm. It did, cause he dropped the subject and moved into another, seconds later, “Can you walk?” he asked.
You placed your palm on the floor and held Din's with your other hand. Your legs responded –slowly but steady, you got on your feet.
The Mandalorian held you by the waist, watching with caution until he was sure you could stand by yourself, "We have to go to the bridge" he announced. His voice was low enough to maintain what he was saying between you. “Moff Gideon will go to the front, I’ll stay behind, you can follow me.” you couldn’t tell if it was a proposition or an order. 
“It’s ok. You said it yourself, he can’t hurt me.” Din tittered and shook his head.
“It’s not you who I’m worried about”.
(,,,)
You’d felt at ease once you met the familiar faces that had come to your rescue. Cara didn’t hesitate to hug you when she saw you, while Fennec limited herself to a comradely nod from afar.
Koska and Bo-Katan had been a completely different story. They didn’t take it lightly when they saw Din in possession of the Darksaber. You glanced at Moff Gideon, his victorious grin made much sense then —he knew of the traditions and what gave power to the saber. He also appreciated how Bo-Katan was as obsessed as him with it —purposely sinking his finger in her wounded pride. 
Although Din had yielded, his peace offering was unwelcomed, as well as his intentions to give her the saber. The last thing you needed was internal conflicts, but you were willing to fight anyone if you had to protect the person you'd care about the most.
The rising tension was —luckily or not— shut down by the alarms going off and then Fennec reporting a breach in the ray shields of the ship.
Moff Gideon, with a disgusting proudness in his voice, announced the dark troopers.
Lines formed between your eyebrows, "Dark troopers?"
Fennec took care of your confusion. "Problems." Her answer was vague, but you could deduce from it, at least, the essential: you'd have to fight against them —inhuman killing machines that doubled your size. The chances of winning were minimal, but you couldn't have gotten this far only to surrender.
You approached the screens and took a seat in front of them. The dark troopers kept coming. Din had trouble fighting with one earlier, and now you were six against too many. Five if they didn't count you. You were still weak, no powers, no Force —you were utterly useless.
Someone softly squeezed your shoulder. You looked up and your eyes met with beskar. "I'm gonna get you out of here." He could try. His words had always given you security. You assumed it was your damaged spirit that doubted them for the first time.
You fixed your eyes on the screen again, Din went to the front among the others. The dark troopers marched towards the bridge. They were getting closer and closer and all you could do was prepare yourself and wait.
"Seal the blast doors!" Fennec commanded Koska.
You looked at the cameras.
They were there.
The two dark troopers in the front started pounding on the door. The material they were made of was resistant, but not indestructible. It was only a matter of minutes before they could get through it.
"You have an impressive fireteam protecting you," Moff Gideon spoke. His voice exuberated confidence. He appreciated his upper hand in the situation and wasn't shy about it. "But I think we all know after a valuable stand, everyone in this room will be dead, but me and the girl."
Din didn't turn to look at you. Gideon's statement probably sent him the same eerie sensation as it did to you.
You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. The thought of him speaking so lightly of your friends' death almost made you puke.
If only you could've hurt him. You had the will, but not the power.
The alarm went off a second time. All of you looked at your right, throughout the windows: A ship flew past the cruiser. Closer monitoring allowed you to identify it as a lone X-wing fighter. Just one. Cara whispered something about being saved, her voice dripping with sarcasm. 
"Incoming craft, identify yourself." Bo-Katan solicited. Radio silence.
The dark troopers outside stopped pounding at the door. You looked at the cameras outside the bridge. They made a half-way turn on their place and armed themselves. 
Everyone was too baffled to be relieved about it. Everyone but you.
Your eyes were glued to the screen. The hooded figure that disembarked was just a visual confirmation of what you had sensed as soon as the craft had landed in the docking bay. 
There was no more such thing as uneasiness. The air felt lighter —in it, an invisible string pulling you towards the unknown subject.
No. Not unknown. You knew what and who it was —long before he'd displayed his lightsaber. You knew why he was here, as well as his intentions. You just didn't want to acknowledge the consequences of his presence —and what it meant for you. 
You turned around and searched for the Mandalorian, only to find Moff Gideon on his feet and pointing a blaster at Bo Katan.
He fired at her, four or five times, you didn't exactly count —it was enough to knock her out of the way.
There was nothing between you and him now. Whereas he'd expressed before the possibilities of keeping you alive for further studies about the Force, it wasn't a viable option anymore. He would rather kill you than let the Jedi get his hands on you.
You had no way to defend yourself. So you looked at him in the eyes and held your breath, resigned, once again, to a destiny written by foreign hands. 
You waited for the shots but they never came. Instead, the air was knocked out of your chest as you were thrown to the floor by someone. You winced at the harsh contact. At least you didn't have a hole in your body. You had closed your eyes by instinct, blinking felt such a waste of energy by then.
You focused on Din's helmet while he frantically inspected your body for any wounds.
"Are you ok?" he asked.
No, you were not. You were numb, expressionless, stunned, motionless. You felt your throat closing up. To speak would mean abandoning the shelter of your conscious, where you still believed to have more time with him. 
But you didn’t, and Din needed to be aware of this.
Tears welled up in your eyes before you whispered, “It’s time.” 
His posture stiffened above you. Though it was never a serious conversation, he’d recalled both of you touching the subject very on the surface. Always in a light, joking manner. “Oh, what will you do when I’m gone?” you’d ask. Din would follow with a snicker and tease you for the sake of your dynamic. “Get a good night of rest.” Truth be told, you could’ve never fathom to properly rest far from each other.
You wished, or rather begged with your eyes, for him to say something, anything —but he chose silence. Was his nightmare the same as yours? Or had he come to accept, long before you did, your true path? 
He took you gently by the hands and helped you get up. He guided you to the front, slow and steady. 
“Open the door,” the bridge was noiseless. No answer whatsoever to his request. Din insisted, “I said, open the door.”
Fennec raised an eyebrow, aiming at the entrance. “Are you crazy?” all the dark troopers were destroyed, but you couldn’t blame the group for their wariness. It had been a long day, a long journey, too many enemies in your path to trust so easily the person waiting on the other side.
You walked past by Gideon, who laid unconscious on the floor. His attempt to kill you felt so far away in time. Now, you faced something worse and more dreadful than death itself. 
Din ignored the verbal protests and pressed the button himself. The blast doors opened. The green glow of the lightsaber was visible before his body. Everyone waited as he entered the bridge. The sick, anxious feeling in your gut only increased when he withdrew his lightsaber. The memories of your time on the seeing stone came back altogether. You recalled his face, he was in your dream, he was the one who had reached out and —oh, you wished you could retract your cry for help.
“Are you a Jedi?” Din found the courage to ask. 
Yes, he is. You knew his identity before he could tell you so. Luke Skywalker.
“I am,” he confirmed and then looked at you. He reached out a hand, you squeezed Din’s. “Come, please.” you trusted this stranger as if you had known him all your life. The Jedi wasn’t the problem, it was the man standing next to you. 
“She doesn’t want to go with you.” Din’s authoritative tone and firm stand made it clear that he shared the same wishes as you. 
But Luke knew better than to give in to the whims of your hearts. If only they were reason enough to rebel against him, “She is strong with the Force. But talent without training is nothing. I will give my life to protect her, but she will not be safe until she masters her abilities.” 
Your fingers lingered over Din’s as you broke the grip on his hand and took a step forward. For a moment, you considered the option of leaving everything behind without looking back. To spare the pain of goodbye seemed the happiest ending you could get. 
Then you remembered how uncertain and unpleasant the future could be. Very few souls in the galaxy could survive regret, an ‘I should’ve’ was more gut-wrenching than any blast to your chest.
So you turned around and face him one more time. You offered a tremulous smile, drops wet the corner of your lips. 
He, as always, tried to offer some peace of mind you couldn’t find by yourself. “I’ll see you again. I promise.” you hated the bleakness that tainted his voice. Still, you found yourself wordless, nodding at his words. 
You extended your hand, the tip of your fingers brushed his helmet. It was cold, lifeless, so much different from what was inside of it and who you had learned to know. Din’s hand went up and reached for yours, for a moment you thought he’d push it away. Instead, he put it on the helmet and slowly removed it. 
What in the past was deemed unlikely, was now a solid dream.
You lingered on the coffee eyes that studied yours, on the small crease between them above the line of his bold nose. His hair —you wanted to jump in his arms and run your fingers through that hair. Your eyes wandered over his mouth, following its curve and pout, as if he was just about to speak. You wanted to crush your mouth against his lips. 
So you did.
Time stopped in a collision of senses when your lips met his. Your heart pounded in your chest as your knees got weaker. You could only focus on how soft he felt against your mouth, in how addictively he invaded your senses. 
There was raw emotion in the way his fingers closed behind your neck, in how he squeezed you against his body. With your eyes closed, you weren’t sure if your mind had tricked you into a perfect present. 
But then you opened them again and he was there. Closer than ever. 
“We will meet again.” your voice quavered in a whisper. You threw your head back just to take a full picture of his handsome face. Tears fell over his cheeks, you brushed them away with your thumbs. “Someday, somewhere, we’ll get to be together.” you lowered a hand and placed it on his chest. “Until then, keep me here, ok?” 
This time, Din draped both of his arms around your frame and met your lips halfway. It was short, intense, and everything that needed to be said was said with it, “I’ll wait for you as long as I have to, ner runi”. 
You stole him one last kiss before you let him go. 
There was nothing said between you and Luke as you left the bridge side by side. More tears cascaded through your face the further you walked away. You knew this was the way it should be, but never would it hurt so bad. The Mandalorian was supposed to be only an eventuality and ended up being half of your heart. 
You reached the elevator and turned around. It took a massive amount of bravery to look at a loved one in the eyes as you parted ways, so you gathered every cell full of courage in your body and looked at Din. 
You were still crying, so was he. But you had made peace with the past, the present, and the future — both of you knew, one way or another, you were destined to each other, whatever the odds you’d have to face. 
The elevator doors were closing. Your smile grew wider and wider as you realized, not too late, just in time, “I love you, Din Djarin.” he didn’t have to say it back for you to know he felt it too. 
You had promised to find him as soon as you could and you intended to keep your word.
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seattlesea · 4 years ago
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Why Percabeth Isn’t a Good Ship (Sorry 2x)
I’m definitely getting cancelled- 
1. Annabeth is physically abusive. The fandom makes this point seem controversial and debatable, but it’s really not. The definition of abuse is hitting someone. Annabeth hit Percy. Therefore, Annabeth abused Percy. Is that really that hard to understand? Annabeth hit Percy for the first time in The Titan’s Curse when she, Percy, and Thalia were looking for the di Angelo siblings. She punched him in the gut when he asked her who he should ask to dance with him. Annabeth knows that Percy can be oblivious at times...but punishes him when it benefits her? The second time was in The Mark of Athena, when she judo-flipped him because she missed him. That’s...what?? Usually when people are worried about someone else, they hug or kiss them, not flip them over their shoulder. And yes Annabeth kissed him first, but the judo-flip was completely unnecessary. Annabeth punished Percy for ‘leaving’ her despite him being kidnapped and his memory wiped. And everyone’s like ‘But Percy didn’t feel any pain!!11!!1!’ The chapter wasn’t in his point of view, so that claim is a guess. Just cause he didn’t say ‘Ow’ doesn’t mean he wasn’t in pain. Also- Annabeth slammed him on a stone pavement on his back. That definitely hurts, even if Percy is a demigod, physically strong, and has gotten hurt a lot. There’s a difference between ‘playful hitting’ and actually hurting someone. Yes they trained a lot, but this isn’t training. This is Annabeth punishing Percy for being traumatized with yet another life-threatening quest and being kidnapped. I don’t remember Percy judo-flipping Annabeth after he saw her again when she got kidnapped in TTC. Besides, the Romans were about to take out their weapons when they saw Annabeth attack Percy, so if all of them thought it was an attack...it was most likely an attack. Even Annabeth said herself “I only attack my boyfriend like that”. The thing is, if it was Percy who flipped Annabeth over his shoulder and slammed her on her back or punched her in the gut, all the fans immediately would’ve freaked out and cancelled him, calling him a horrible and abusive boyfriend, but because it’s the girl hitting the guy, it’s fine apparently. Nothing wrong with it, right? And then Riordan (and the fandom) had the audacity to romanticize that abuse. Abuse isn’t a sweet, romantic gesture. Stop making it seem like it is. That’s disgusting. 
2. Annabeth is also verbally abusive and toxic. Annabeth canonically lowered Percy’s self-esteem, constantly insulted him and his intelligence despite knowing he was insecure about it and always getting kicked out of schools and getting bad grades (even with her so-called ‘endearing’ name for him ‘Seaweed Brain’), and the overall idea of Percabeth is a super smart, pretty girl making a guy with below average intelligence feel insecure about himself. Percy’s self-esteem has plummeted since he met Annabeth and her behavior is never called out or even noticed, which implies some manipulation going on. Annabeth is shown to be extremely capable of manipulating her enemies and anyone else she pleases, and there are quite a few signs she’s using it against Percy (his feelings of obligation, fear, and guilt of and over her, questioning himself, having strings attached, always only thinking of her and no one else in his life, etc.), especially since Percy begins to gradually stop noticing Annabeth’s wrong and toxic behavior as the story progresses. 
3. Annabeth only likes Percy cause he’s the chosen one. Annabeth only hung around Percy since The Lightning Thief cause she thought he was ‘the one’ and so she could finally go on a quest. She literally used Percy to go out to the mortal world and ‘prove herself’ cause really, all she cares about is glory, which is shown multiple times throughout the series with all her pride and ambitions. Plus the fact that Chiron made Annabeth swear on the River Styx that she would keep Percy from danger is a pretty clear sign she didn’t stick around him just cause she wanted to, but because she felt obligated to and cause it would benefit her. Take all of this and it’s kind of obvious Annabeth only hung around Percy cause he was the chosen one of the prophecy, a son of one of the Big Three, and was destined to go on multiple quests and play a big part in the mythological world, which is what she always wanted since book one.
4. It was forced. Since the beginning of book one, it was so obvious that Percy and Annabeth were going to get together that their relationship ended up being boring, dull, and flat. Riordan made it so obvious they were going to be a couple that nothing that happened to their relationship really mattered, cause everyone knew it would work out in the end (which is probably why everyone *wrongly* hated on Rachel) so what happened in between didn’t matter. Their relationship was the typical ‘male lead and female lead’, ‘bad boy trouble-maker skater and nerdy good girl’ power couple that was way too clear. And Riordan made it worse by pushing their relationship and shoving it into the readers’ faces way too much. In MoA Annabeth states that she’s always had a crush on Percy (since they were twelve) which immediately rips all the development their relationship (which was supposedly ‘friends to lovers’, but not anymore) had away. Riordan made up a bunch of honestly dumb scenarios that were legit cringe to make Percabeth seem like ‘OTP’ that really didn’t make sense.
5. It ruined their characters. Percy and Annabeth would’ve been way better off as just friends. After they got together in HoO, all their personality and everything else that made them independent was destroyed to make room for more ‘Percabeth’. All of Annabeth’s skills, bravery, intelligence, pride, ferocity, judgmentalism, and all the other traits and flaws that made her a well-written character were never utilized or even mentioned. All she thought about was Percy, and the same goes for him. His loyalty, sarcasm, humor, obliviousness, etc. disappeared to make room for arrogant Annabeth fanboy. In PJO, they were amazingly well-written and great role models for younger readers (especially Annabeth), but in HoO their characters were exclusively ‘Annabeth’s boyfriend’ and ‘Percy’s girlfriend’. Their characters were completely dependent on each other, and they were way better off as just friends. 
6. Annabeth is way too possessive. And creepy. It’s fine and honestly normal for people to get jealous when another person likes someone they do, but Annabeth’s jealousy was downright creepy. Not only did she not know if her feelings for Percy were reciprocated or not, but she also didn’t know if Percy and Rachel liked each other, either. The very first time she met Rachel she immediately hated her. That’s not ‘I’m jealous cause this girl likes the guy I do’, that’s ‘I’m jealous cause the guy I like has another female friend’. She had no reason to believe that Rachel and Percy liked each other and has no say in who they can like, either. She thought that she and Percy absolutely had to be in a relationship and that he couldn’t even have friends with different genitals than him. And remember when Annabeth literally stalked Percy in The Sea of Monsters? Like when she creeped by his window, constantly watched him, and kept tabs on him just cause she ‘couldn’t find the right time’ to tell him something cause he was ‘never alone’ despite him being alone multiple times and despite the fact that she literally could’ve just knocked on his door like a normal person instead of creeping around his cabin and staring at him through the windows? Again- switch the roles. If it was Percy who was stalking Annabeth, everyone would’ve immediately called him a creep. If- according to Tumblr and almost everyone who read Twilight- Edward is a creep for stalking Bella, then Annabeth is a creep for stalking Percy. 
7. It’s mostly fan love. Honestly, the fandom is the only thing that fuels Percabeth. Riordan just destroys it. He shoved it down the readers’ throats, forced it way too much with really dumb and honestly unrealistic scenarios, and made it abusive and toxic. On its own, Percabeth freaking sucks. The fandom’s version of Percabeth is 1000x better than whatever the hell Riordan was doing, but even that version is toxic. Like, I’ve seen way too many jokes about Annabeth hitting Percy (as if abuse is hilarious and amazing meme fuel and not an extremely sensitive topic that triggers multiple people who actually went through it). Half the time, the fandom fixes Percabeth and the other half of the time they over-glorify and ruin it. The fandom over exaggerates and over glorifies it way too much. It’s not that great of a relationship, to be honest. Most of y’all only like it in the first place cause Riordan made it canon.
8. It was cringey. Like I said above, Riordan wrote some really dumb scenes for Percabeth. I mean- the matching gray streaks in their hair despite Atlas and Artemis not getting any? Percy’s tie to the mortal world while bathing in the River Styx being Annabeth and not his mom, Grover, etc.? Percy only remembering Annabeth, the girl he’s only known for four years and not his mom, the only woman who actually cared for and took care of him or Grover, his best friend who protected and continuously cared about him? Percy turning down immortality only for Annabeth and not even bothering to mention the pain of leaving behind his life, friends, family, memories, etc. behind if he accepted it? The romanticized judo-flip? The whole ‘dark-haired rebellious bad boy/nerdy blonde good girl who can be bad’ trope? Even the boring predictability of Percabeth is cringe. 
9. It’s a bad influence on younger readers. Basically the lesson of Percabeth is ‘Once you get a love interest nothing else in your life matters’. Besides that one single scene that took like three lines in The Son of Neptune, Percy never even thought of his own mom, nor did he think about any of his friends or passed allies like his dad, Rachel, Grover, Paul, Silena, Luke, Ethan, Bob/Iapetus, Tyson, Calypso, Charles, Michael (whose death he accidentally caused), Bianca, Zoë, etc. Even when in Tartarus with the curse of the Arai being forced to remember all the people he forgot and feeling guilty about abandoning Bob and Calypso, all he thought about was Annabeth. Even when faced with the man who broke the heart of the girl who sacrificed herself for him, Percy didn’t even think of her, only his jealousy of Jason. Same thing with Annabeth. She never thought about her mom, Luke, Thalia, her step-mom or step-brothers, etc. It was all about Percy. Cause yes, Riordan, that’s exactly the lesson you should teach your younger readers- forget everyone you ever knew the moment you get a partner. Besides that, it also teaches readers that being rude to people who like the same person as you is completely okay cause no one will care and once you start being rude, bitter, and possessive you’ll get exactly what you want (that’s literally what happened, with Annabeth and with Calypso, too). He also teaches that after you get a partner, everything that makes you you will disappear and you’ll be completely dependent on them and nothing in your life will matter, even your own independent life and personality. 
10. The fandom tries to excuse and explain Annabeth’s behavior??? What??? Since when does explaining and excusing hitting people put you in the right again? And the excuses aren’t even good, too! Percabeth fans use-  Annabeth was full of emotions/mad and doesn’t know how to deal with emotions. Annabeth really loved Percy. It was only one time. Annabeth was worried about Percy and mad that she left him. Annabeth didn’t mean to hurt him. Annabeth didn’t know what she was doing cause she was full of emotions. ??? Annabeth was full of emotions/mad and doesn’t know how to deal with emotions- Annabeth was seventeen years old, the daughter of the wisdom goddess, and is supposedly the smartest character in the series who is shown to be extremely good at reading people and their emotions. And y’all are really trying to say she doesn’t know how to deal with her emotions?  Annabeth really loved Percy- SO? A mother might really love her child, does that excuse her for hitting them for dumb reasons? It was only one time- actually, it was twice, and so what? If someone was slapped across the face ‘only one time’, does that mean they weren’t abused? ‘Abuse’ doesn’t mean ‘hit constantly’, it means ‘hit’. If someone was hit, they were abused. Is that really not a known fact in this fandom? Annabeth was worried about Percy and mad that she left him- last time I checked, people didn’t hit others when they were worried about them. If I was worried that my friend was going to get hurt, I wouldn’t hurt them myself. That literally makes no sense. And again- Percy didn’t leave Annabeth. He was kidnapped. Do y’all not know the definition of that, either? Annabeth didn’t mean to hurt him- yes, cause that’s why she decided to flip him over her shoulder, slam him on a stone pavement on his back, and punish him for ‘leaving her’.  Annabeth didn’t know what she was doing cause she was full of emotions- Annabeth??? the daughter of the wisdom goddess??? not knowing what she’s doing??? huh??? I mean, would any of you really, legitimately try to use any of these dumb excuses to excuse a man from hitting his wife? Hopefully not. And if you did, you would immediately get hated on and legit cancelled. So what makes this any different? Also- I see the excuse ‘Annabeth didn’t know Percy lost his Achilles Heel and thought he was still invincible’. Under different circumstances I’d accept that, but Annabeth knew that Percy’s Achilles Heel was on the small of his back...BUT SHE SLAMMED HIM ON HIS BACK. If Percy hadn’t lost the Achilles Heel, Annabeth literally would’ve killed him. Abusive enough for y’all? Or is attempted murder excusable and still ‘OTP’? 
11. They had no chemistry whatsoever. Was I the only one who felt...absolutely no chemistry between Percy and Annabeth? Like some of their moments were cute, their friendship was really good, and they had a lot of potential, but they didn’t feel right for each other. Remember- opposites don’t attract (they just argue, and no one has ‘another half’ that needs to ‘complete them’, everyone is their own person), they cancel each other out. I mean, Reyna and Annabeth had more chemistry in that one chapter of the New Rome tour in MoA than Percy and Annabeth had in 12+ books. They’re just...not right for each other, I guess. 
I’m definitely getting cancelled-
Edit 2: Sorry if I offended anyone with that last note. Just wanted to let y’all know that I am not here to start any drama, hurt anyone, or disrespect any Percabeth shippers. I respect your opinions 100% and only ask you do the same for me. Like I literally only wrote this at 12 am when I was bored and had nothing else to do and couldn’t sleep (same goes for pretty much everything else I write about PJ). Besides, why argue and start drama over dumb stuff like that when we can just find something we agree on? Don’t like Piper McLean? Let’s talk about that. Think Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano is a queen? Let’s talk about that. Think Nico di Angelo is freaking amazing? Let’s talk about that. Think Theyna would be adorable? Let’s talk about that. Want someone to vent to about writer’s block? Why the hell not? Want random writing advice and tips for writer’s block? Sure, I got plenty. Instead of arguing and starting beef over trivial fictional ships. 
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spice-chan · 4 years ago
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Imagine Yan Bakugou being EXTREMELY jealous over one your co-worker who is hitting on you and it's obvious that you don't want any of his attention so Bakugou had to do something about it
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The Art of Vigilantism
Warnings: yandere!bakugo, violence and implied death at the end.
Bakugou thanked God that you too work in the same agency—very different roles though. While he was out, being your hero, protecting you from the baddies and shitstains of the earth, you were at the agency trying to help out as much as you could as a tech support.
As beneficial as the dynamic could be, you being safe and all, it really has its downsides sometimes.
Said times are when he comes back to you after a gruelling mission, only to be welcomed with the sight of a pest all over you. Before he gets his welcome back kiss at that.
What hits the nail in the coffin is that your relationship with the esteemed hero is not a secret, meaning the good for nothing bootlicking fuck should know where to put his grubby hands.
Definitely not on his girlfriend. His. Own. Girlfriend.
“Just what do you think you're doing?”
Your assailant suddenly shrank away from you, pupils widening at the sight of someone else in the workshop. Much to your relief, much to the fucks dismay though.
“You didn’t answer my question.” The statement was spoken as a growl, made the man chuckle nervously, fright filling his veins at the sight of DynaMight, the beloved hero. Also known as your boyfriend.
“Haha...uh...I wasn’t doing anything! Right?” He turned to you, daring you to expose him in front of your boyfriend. Bakugou gritted his teeth at the act of intimidation towards you, inching forward and fully planning to pummel the fucker to the ground before your delicate hand placed itself on his sweaty, muscular and incredibly powerful bicep that would surely bruise someone for weeks, halting his movements.
“Suki! Don’t. It’s ok.” Oh, you were so sweet. Even at this moment, you worried about Katsuki’s reputation, how bad the headlines would be if Katsuki was caught beating up a technician.
Only if he got caught though.
“Tsk, ok babe. Gimme’ my well-done kiss.”
You blushed, more than happy to oblige.
You didn’t see the smug look marring Katsuki as he shoved his tongue down your throat in front of your little fan, or should he say, bully?
Katsuki had observed the way the bastard interacted with you, flirtation holds that bordered on HR worthy complaints to compliments that sounded a bit too insincere.
Katsuki cornered him about this a few times, but he doesn’t stop. His angel made it more than obvious that his advances aren’t welcome, so why doesn’t he stop? Why won’t he leave his darling alone?
You yelped when Katsuki unintentionally bit on your lip a bit too harshly. He apologetically broke away from you, kissing the spot and licking up the small amount of blood, not minding the metallic taste. “Sorry.”
“It’s ok.” You smiled at him sweetly, your eyes glistening with adoration towards him, not tainted with an ounce of annoyance, lips stretched into a sweet smile.
In Katsuki’s blushing, live induced haze, he realised something.
Oh…
What better way for one to feel important about themselves when surrounded by such amazing people than to prey on the sweet girlfriend of a pro-hero? Someone presumed to be helpless with enough bullying and cornering.
Hah, he’s gonna teach a bastard a thing or two.
Too bad he won’t live to apply those lessons into his behaviour.
…..
Snap.
Another bone snapped, sobs once more wrecking through the bastard as his body became more and more mangled.
“‘Brought this on yourself, honestly.”
Katsuki spoke heartlessly, watching the snivelling mess beneath him.
“You-you’re supposed to be a hero! Aren’t you afraid of getting found?! Just let me go, I won’t tell anyone!”
He paused as the sound of Katsuki’s manic laughter filled the air, laughing so hard that he had to wipe a tear from the corner of his deranged, manic red eye.
“Nah, evaded all hard evidence that could lead to me. Besides, I’m doing my job as a hero, and getting rid of villains.” Katsuki spoke, pausing to make sure the weakling was following his every word.
“You thought you could continue to annoy and harass my darling? Funny. Pests like you deserve to die.” With that, Katsuki got down once more, palm crackling threateningly as he brought it near the man's chests, ignoring his panicked eyes and cries, pleas and whatnot.
Because the man below him hurt his darling time and time again, he deserved to die.
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justimajin · 4 years ago
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Til Death Do Us Part ♜ Pt.6
➟ Pairing: Namjoon x Reader
➟ Genre: Angst, Fluff, Eventual Smut
↳ (4.3k), Arranged Marriage AU
➟ Summary: If someone told you that you’d be marrying the Kim Namjoon, you would think you were being lied to, or worse, that you were hallucinating. However, fate seems to have it’s own ways of making the impossible possible and before you even know it, the title of Mrs. Kim is bestowed onto you. There’s just one problem: you’re not sure if Kim Namjoon is the person he says he is and the truth of your own identity is dangling by the strength of a mere thread.
➟ Warnings: 18+ rating, graphic depictions of violence and blood
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gif credit.
➟ Previous Parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
➟ Next Update: Tuesday, January 26 
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The sound of birds chirping is the first thing you hear in the morning. 
You slowly rise from the bed and rub your swollen eyes, a low yawn escaping your lips in the process. Blinking a mere couple of times, your vision slowly falls back into focus and you glance around a bit bewildered. 
It’s almost like there’s a haze over your mind, contentment gracing you in the form of absolute vigor. Your shoulders feel lighter, and there’s no rapid racing of your heart, your regular pace of breathing leaving your lungs. 
Your pupils suddenly twinkle and you whip around, only to be met with a bed that is half empty. 
A sharp pang of disappointment instantly washes over you. 
“Miss Y/N?” 
Your head raises to the foreign sight of someone leaning down, staring down at you intently. You nearly stagger back, alarmed from the intrusion. 
“I-I didn’t mean to startle you!” She hurriedly assures. You recall seeing her while Namjoon was talking to the company’s shareholders, remembering his inquiry about hiring a new maid. 
“It’s alright.” You clear your throat, attempting to conceal your dismay. Unfortunately, it appears that you seem to be doing a terrible job at it. 
“Master Kim left early this morning because of an urgent matter.” She clarifies right away, noticing the way it brings light to your eyes. Softly smiling, she continues, “He requested I stay here with you to make sure you were feeling alright.” 
You slowly nod, “I understand.... But I’d like to be left alone for a while.” 
Peering up to see her expression, she shakes her head right away, granting you with some privacy. The moment the door is closed on her way out, you squeeze your eyes shut. 
A heavy sigh leaves your lips and you rise from the bed, moving your belongings around as you fish out for a familiar plastic box. 
***
Even though your stomach churns and a bitter taste lingers in your mouth, you force your hands to keep drumming against the plastic, responding to the spurts of static it lets out. You’ve forgotten how many times you’ve fisted your hair in the process, leaks of more and more information involuntarily leaving you. 
You’re near the end of your message relay, desperate for it to be over already. However, that’s when a certain line of static comes through, your eyes widening dramatically. 
W-What? 
A heavy knock pounds against the plastic and your pupils dart around manically, stance freezing up as you wait for the response. 
The same static pattern resonates through. 
“N-No…” You whisper. It has to be a mistake, it has to be.
But regardless, you need to know more. A series of frantic knocks resonate through the room, only for a chain of static to come through immediately. Before you have the chance to relay something back in exchange, it abruptly cuts off and despair spreads through your features. 
You weren’t given an option. 
You were given an order. 
Legs quivering as your rise, a set of instructions repeat themselves over and over again in your mind like a vicious loop. Walking aimlessly like on autopilot, you scavenge through your clothes before locating a particular suitcase you had brought in prior to moving. It was one piece of luggage that you didn’t get the luxury of packing yourself, thrust into your hands instead. 
Fumbling around with the handful of zippers and pockets, your hands roam around until they feel a sharp prick. Your breath instantly hitches and once you unzip the compartment, the cool metal meets your fingertips instantly. 
Carefully taking it out, your eyes transfixed with horror onto the gun resting within the palm of your hand. Swallowing hard, you slowly rise to your feet and take a step back. 
Stopping right at the corner of the bed, your orbs oscillate as they land right on top of the opposite side from your own.
You tear your eyes away, a harsh gasp leaving your lips. That’s when the shining and translucent object catches your line of vision and you hesitantly step forward towards the dresser, confronted with the sight of your own reflection. 
Your complexion is extremely pale, small dark bags lining the bottom of your orbs and a sickly tint coating your lips. It dawns upon you how much the lack of sleep and being constantly on edge have morphed you into something you’re not accustomed to seeing, but once your gaze flickers up to your eyes, you freeze. 
The mirror surprisingly reflects something there that you haven’t seen there for quite some time, something that was snatched away from you the moment you took on this grave task. 
Why...why do you look so doubtful? It’s like‒ 
You swallow hard, hands tightening into fists. 
It’s almost like you don’t want to do it. 
The gun in your hand feels far too heavy, like it’s weight had tripled the moment you wrapped your fingers around it. The remorse flickering  in your ears is far too obvious, drowning within the confines of your muted apathy. 
Your eyes drop down, lips beginning to tremble. The bulky gun is gripped tightly within your hand and unconsciously, a lone tear slips down from your eye. 
***
A tart meets your lips, softly chewing on the crumbling structure. 
You're seated at the table where you first had dinner with Namjoon and his family, but this time around the new maid had relentlessly insisted you eat something and sat you down alone with a buffet in front of you. 
You wonder if it’s because she can see how pale you look, or the fatigue running deep in your eyes. 
Taking another bite, the maid hurriedly scurries and brings another platter, a soft smile on her lips as she places it within your reach. You don’t return the response, in fact you don’t move in the slightest as you chew down on the tart, functioning more like you were programmed on command than anything. 
The only time light actually flickers within your orbs, is when the entrance door opens and you catch sight of your husband. 
You instantly rise from your seat as Namjoon walks by, appearing to be lost in deep thought as he begins to head straight up the stairs, only halting when the maid stops him in his tracks. He looks confused for a moment, but after she converses with him you notice his eyes flicker over in your direction, and instantly his feet take him towards you. 
“You’re having lunch?” He questions, seating himself down on the opposite end of the table. 
You nod, “I was told you had something urgent to attend?” 
“Ah,” Namjoon says, exhaustion evident on his features, “Some of the policemen wanted to talk about the case and I’ve been helping them with the investigation.” 
Your jaw instantly tightens, but then you nod, waiting for him to continue. A brief silence dips through instead and it surprises you, looking up to see Namjoon frowning. 
“What is it?” 
A deep sigh leaves him, “Y/N...I‒” His features twist up as he winces, “E-Eunjoo….we’ve found evidence that she may have been killed too....” 
Namjoon grimaces again, nearly whispering, “They found her corpse…” 
“I-I see….” The food in front of you suddenly seems utterly stale, the appetite you convinced yourself of vanishing entirely. 
The maid eventually comes over and asks Namjoon if he wants anything to eat, to which he just replies that he’s eaten prior to returning back home. You decide to take the exchange as an opportunity to excuse yourself, leaving your lunch behind as you head back to your room. 
In the midst of your actions, a hand wraps around your wrist and halts you. 
“Y/N.” 
“Are...” Namjoon hesitates, “Are you okay?” 
Fear immediately dwindles in you, “W-Why are you asking?” 
“Well,” He lets go of your hand, “You and Eunjoo became close, hearing that she’s gone now….are you okay?”
His desperate eyes fall upon you and for a split second, you repress the urge to let all the tears burst out. The only matter of action you can do is simply nod, looking away from his heavy gaze. 
However, your response doesn’t seem to convince Namjoon completely of its integrity. He laces his fingers with yours and suddenly rushes, heading up the stairs as he brings you along with him. His urgency baffles you, but nonetheless, you still follow closely behind. 
Namjoon leads you into the bedroom, your body stilling when he tells you to face the same hanging mirror you were just scrutinizing prior to eating.  
“Close your eyes.” He requests and although you find it quite strange, you oblige without hesitation. 
An ice cold sensation touches your skin, right below your neck. 
“You can open them now.” Namjoon whispers, his voice coming through the shell of your ear. 
The moment you flutter them open, the sight before you has your eyes widening. 
You stand right in front of the mirror, your reflection from waist up showcasing on the glass. Namjoon stands directly behind you, his hands coming around your shoulders to display the shining object that lies within them. 
It’s an amethyst necklace, a simple purple pendant held together with a silver chain that Namjoon is carefully plucking. You cautiously touch the centre, letting your fingertips glide over the fine jewel in astonishment. 
“Namjoon…” You whisper, a soft smile tugging on the corner of your mouth. 
“I bought it a while ago.” He sheepishly explains, loosening his grip of the necklace and taking a step back, “I didn’t know if you would like it, but I thought it could possibly have the power to bring a smile to your lips.” 
His words overwhelm you, rending you completely speechless. 
Seesawing on his heels, he seems to pause for a second, his eyes flickering. 
“C-Can I…?” 
Namjoon looks at you as if encouraging you to decline if you wish to do so, but it manages to elicit a sad smile to line your lips. You swallow hard, nodding in response. 
His eyes instantly beam and he hurriedly stands behind you once again, carefully gliding the metal against your skin until it sits right. As Namjoon attempts to connect it at the back, your line of vision lands upon the mirror, taking in the image before you. 
There’s no doubt the pendant is extremely beautiful ‒ but what your eyes fixate on more is how it practically glimmers on you, managing to bring the glow back to your tired and sickly features. 
Namjoon suddenly shifts, choosing to stand beside you as he quickly ensures that the chain is truly in place and will remain connected. The gesture results in your eyes swaying, moving from the pendant to him. 
The way he stands almost reminds you of the day you got married, how he was before you appearing absolutely regal and dignified. At the time, you had no sense of what you were exactly getting yourself into, essentially thrust into a life that was plotted and planned for from the start. 
And in the midst of it all, the man standing with you was someone you were meant to be careful of, to keep an precise eye out for his actions and to monitor them as closely as possible, all with the poise of being a wife.
But you were never prepared for any of this, prepared to find yourself admiring the warmth that easily spreads within his eyes, or the way he tenderly speaks to you, the strict premise of observing him becoming muddled with something else. 
The image of a gun suddenly flashes by your eyes, making your shoulders tense. 
Namjoon takes a step back and gazes at you, his mouth curving into a smile. 
“You look beautiful.” He softly says, and your head snaps up, eyes connecting right away with his. 
In that one single second, you truly wonder about it for the first time. You wonder if Kim Namjoon is truly as innocent as you ‒ a simplistic tool made for others to use.
***
It’s difficult for you to spend the remainder of the day without your eyes swaying over to the purple gem that sits at the base of your throat, but after a while you wonder if you’re simply doing it out of remorse. 
A deep sigh leaves your lips as you squeeze your eyes shut, shaking your head slightly. 
Namjoon suddenly enters the room, appearing frantic. At your concerned gaze, he simply smiles. 
“There’s an urgent meeting I have to attend with the shareholders,” He quickly says, grabbing onto a bag from the corner of the living room, “I should be back soon.” 
Namjoon casually throws the words into the air, as if they were nothing to be overly worried about. But he doesn’t see how your eyes are shell-shocked, jaw falling slack as blood drains from your features. 
As he steps to move out the front door, your hand abruptly clasps around his wrist. 
Namjoon turns around right away, amidst being puzzled with the sudden hold. However, that’s when his eyes flicker up to yours and for once, there’s no mask concealing your true expression. 
“Y/N…?” Namjoon hesitantly asks, stepping forward. The moment he does, you step back, letting go of his hand swiftly with a strained chuckle. 
“S-Sorry…” You instantly look away, but Namjoon doesn’t budge in the slightest. He instead chooses to hold onto your hand again, looking straight into your averted eyes. 
“I’ll be back soon, Y/N...you don’t have to worry…” He whispers, and it takes every fiber of your being not to spill everything right then and there, head stagnantly nodding. 
“I-I understand.” You manage to sputter out, mentally reprimanding yourself. 
You can’t hesitate ‒ you’re not allowed to hesitate. You can’t feel emotions like these, emotions like you need him.... 
You’re a spy, Y/N. 
As if instinct, the mask begins to form once again. Your eyes turn brighter, and a smile begins to line your lips swiftly, nowhere near the verge of collapsing like seconds ago. 
You glance up, prepared to let go, “Namjoon, I‒” 
Your breath immediately hitches and you freeze in place, eyes rapidly darting around. 
Namjoon keeps his arms around your torso, hands resting on your back and his chin propped up on your shoulder. He embraces you tightly and unconsciously, a speck of tears begin to dampen your eyes. 
For a moment, your lids flutter shut and you savour the gesture, entwining your arms around him. 
When your eyes finally open, they can only focus on the palm of your hands ‒ flesh that has been constantly painted and coated in red with no end in sight. 
Letting out a deep sigh, you part from him. 
Namjoon is still gazing at you, eyes boring into your own. His hand rises up, thumb swiping away the tears that line your cheeks.  
It’s at that moment you recognize their appearance and fumble to wipe the rest away, a strained smile slipping from your lips. You’re scrambling at what to say with him, no coherent words being able to surface at the tip of your tongue. 
But what you fail to see in that single second, is how Namjoon’s eyes instantly perk up and how he immediately pulls you towards him. 
“Y/N!” 
Everything happens with a flash. At one point in time, Namjoon is caressing your face within his hands, softly smiling at you. Another split second later, he’s collapsed onto the ground, completely knocked out. 
Your heart beats viciously as you quickly kneel down beside him and glance up, not picking up on the individual outside that has been particularly eyeing the two of you right as you stopped Namjoon from leaving. 
A mask covers the stranger’s features, but you hear the sound of a low ‘tick’ and notice that his eyes are glued to Namjoon’s fallen form, giving you a hunch of where and in who his intention lies with. 
Before you have the chance to do anything ‒ alert someone in the household or stay and figure out what the stranger would want with Namjoon, a sharp jab lands at the back of your head and you grimace, falling unconscious within seconds. 
***
Droplets of water fall down from the ceiling. 
Your throat burns like it’s on fire, a scorching sensation that makes seem as if you haven’t had a drink of water in days. Locks of your hair are dripping with sweat, and your vision is foggy, barely able to see through the dim lighting of the room. 
Letting out a cough and then a groan, you squeeze your eyes shut before opening them fully, squinting to to focus in on your surroundings. The room is still dark, but there’s a faint light in the corner that allows you to make out the outlines of the silhouettes in front of you. 
Namjoon is stationed on a chair, his hands out of sight and pushed behind him. He appears to be still unconscious, his eyelids drooping down. 
You peer down, discovering that you’re in the same state as him ‒ confined to a chair with the unsettling feeling of something beginning to deeply cut through your wrists. Attempting to experiment, you give a slight tug and immediately a sharp pain shoots through your hands. It gives you a strong indication of what’s pinning you down, especially when your fingertips glide over the prickly thick material. 
“You idiot! Why did you bring her too?!” 
A loud and gritty voice suddenly shouts, causing you to wince, “She was with him when I knocked him out! What else was I supposed to do?!” 
There’s a sound of resentment from the first individual before silence dips, and you take it upon yourself to quickly figure your way out of your confinement. You tug against the bindings roughly, ignoring the prickly sensation that stabs into your skin and brings tears into your eyes. Repeating the gesture, you can only hope that the bristly rope will begin to loosen. 
But that’s when your harsh movements result in your chair shifting. 
One of them snaps their head up immediately, treading in your direction. His heavy steps, coupled with his gritty voice that you heard, causes you to stiffen. Once he approaches you, you notice that his black attire conveniently seals him away from your prying eyes. 
He grabs the back of your chair and immediately your breath hitches. As you glance up and your heart palpitates rapidly, you attempt to think of a way out, anything that could help you get out of this situation. 
Your flickering eyes meet Namjoon’s chair, only to discover in relief at his slow stirring, blinking his eyes and attempting to squint through the poor lighting of the room.  
The second individual approaches, “So what do we do? Kill them both?” 
“Of course we kill them both! What other option is there?!” 
Abruptly a fistful of your hair is tugged up from behind. A hiss leaves your lips, but it’s not long before a cold piece of metal is pressed against your scalp. 
From your frontal view, you notice the first man walks over and does the same thing to Namjoon as he grimaces. 
“Wait.” 
The second man holding a gun to your head looks up, appearing confused. Your eyes frantically follow his field of vision across, noticing the first man to be smirking. 
“Untie her.” 
“What?” 
“Just do it!” 
He obliges, loosening the rope from your hands until it drops down. He tightly keeps a hold around your wrists as a form of constriction, before glancing back up for further instructions. 
A gun is tossed over in his direction. 
He catches it immediately, appearing even more puzzled, “What’s this for?” 
The first man’s grin grows wider. “We’re going to have her kill him.” 
“What? Why?”
The first man leaves Namjoon, striding over to your side. He takes the gun he’s tossed onto the ground, shoving it straight into your hands as you reluctantly accept it. 
“She’s an add on,” He smiles, “and the perfect way we can cover up our tracks.” 
Something gleams within his partner’s eyes, a sickening smile stretching over his lips and showcasing his pearl teeth to you. It elicits shivers to run down your spine and their next statement makes your stomach churn. 
“After this, we’ll just discard her somewhere.” 
Their conversation is abruptly cut off as they redirect their attention back to you, forcibly lining your gun wielding arm towards Namjoon, resulting in your eyes suddenly coming into contact with his wide ones. 
They reflect your own, spelling out one message that you can read so clearly. 
There’s terror in his eyes.
A soft click sounds from your left side and you look over to discover the first man keeping a gun right next to your head. 
“Now, if you don’t want to die yourself.” He obscenely grins, “Shoot him.” 
Colour drains from your features, your hands beginning to uncontrollably tremble. 
The baneful thoughts begin to slip in too easily.
One bullet. 
One bullet, and this all will be over. 
Your next mission will be finally complete. 
All it would take…..
Is just one bullet. 
“Are you deaf?!” The man screams into your ear, “I said shoot him!” 
The gun digs harder into your scalp, making you jolt and wince at the same time. 
Namjoon isn’t looking at you. His gaze has drifted over to the ground, his head lowered. 
Your heart viciously pounds against your ribcage and unknown to you, hot tears have begun to roll down the corner of your eyes. 
“SHOOT HIM!” 
“I CAN’T!” 
Your chest heaves, vision blurring before your voice comes out as a soft sob, “I-I just c-can’t…” 
“Y/N.” 
The soft call of your name results in your head snapping, eyes immediately coming into contact with Namjoon’s. His eyes have become glossy and the sight of a sad smile lining his lips makes your chest constrict. 
“Y/N...it’s okay.” He whispers, his words serving to only increase the tightening of your chest. He briefly looks down at the ground, before raising his head to meet your gaze again. You can clearly notice the water shimmering within his eyes and as he speaks, his voice cracks. 
“J-Just‒….just complete your mission.” 
Your breathing stops. 
The longer he stares at you, the more it feels as if your knees are about to give out. 
You still point a gun in his direction, but it’s accompanied with broken words, your voice barely coming out as a whisper. 
“Y-You knew….” 
Before you have the chance to say anything else, a hand grabs onto your wrist and snatches the gun away from you. 
“Just kill them both already!” 
Life suddenly enters your eyes again and with a grunt, your hand comes into direct contact with your kidnapper’s face. He stumbles back instantly, allowing you to quickly snag the gun and point it in his direction. 
He freezes, glancing at his partner that holds Namjoon at gunpoint. 
His partner snarls at you, “Let go of him!”
Your cold eyes don’t budge in the slightest, “Not a chance.” 
Namjoon remains completely still, his eyes flickering over to you. 
There’s a voice inside your head that is screaming. Telling you to turn back. Begging you to come back to your senses. 
The mission will be compromised. 
He will be able to kill you. 
You will be destroyed. 
But this time, you fight back with just as much vigor. 
Then so be it. 
Your hand instantly whips around, aiming for the man that is pointing his gun at Namjoon. 
Your bullet punctures right into his neck. 
Blood splatters onto the floor and leaks alarmingly from his mouth as he crumbles to the ground. However, he doesn’t loosen his firm hold on Namjoon’s suit and that’s when you rush over, wrenching his hand off and leaving him to submerge within a pool of his own blood. 
You hurriedly bend down and undo the bindings on Namjoon’s hands, a sound of dismay leaving you when you notice his partner nowhere in sight. The moment Namjoon is free and he turns around, you immediately leap forward and hug him with a sigh of relief. 
“Are you okay?” 
Namjoon stares at you with a mixture of utter shock and bewilderment. Nonetheless, you still grab onto his hand, getting him to rise up from the ground. 
“Come on, we have to get out of here!” 
You quickly head out of the room with Namjoon trailing behind you, making sure to keep a firm hold on the gun in your hands. At one point the infrastructure and lack of light begins to confuse you on locating the exit, but Namjoon suddenly speeds up, taking the lead and guiding you instead. 
The view of a thick steel door with light attempting to pool inside greets you and you exponentially increase your speed. 
Suddenly your hold slips from Namjoon’s grasp and you slam against the ground harshly. 
“Y/N!” 
You can feel the sensation of fingers wrapping around your leg, turning around to see the man’s partner tight grip rendering you immobile. You attempt to shake him off, but his grip only tightens in retaliation. 
The next couple of seconds is a complete blur to you. You can barely pick up on the way Namjoon swiftly reaches out, landing a forceful punch right against the man’s nose before grabbing and securing his hand within yours again. 
He tugs you up right away, “Come on!” 
Scrambling to your feet, you briefly look behind you, eyes widening in astonishment as to how the man’s partner is currently writhing on the ground, holding his nose in pain as copious amounts of blood drips down his knuckles. 
Turning around, both of you make it to the exit and Namjoon roughly pushes against it with his shoulder. 
You escape into the light.
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pennylaneforthoughts · 3 years ago
Text
Lokius Hogwarts AU
All right my dudes, hot take time:
I’ve seen a lot of Hogwarts AU headcanons floating around, and having thought waaaaaay too much about it, I’m here to add my two cents.
( @sortinghatchats has my favorite sorting system I’ve seen to date, since it goes so much in depth into themes throughout the HP series that good ol’ JK barely touches on in her pretty surface level commentary on the subject, so that’s the system I’m gonna use. Go to their blog to learn more about the way the system works bc I’m too lazy to go more in depth than I already have.)
This is gonna be Hella Long tho so I’m putting it under a cut.
Loki: Petrified Slytherin Primary/Slytherin Secondary - sorting: Slytherin House
Perhaps it may seem trite, but Loki really is a Slytherin Primary at heart. Yes he is ambitious and all that stereotypical stuff, but that’s not really what makes a Slytherin a Slytherin. Anyone can be ambitious. No, he’s a Slytherin because he unapologetically prioritizes himself and the people he cares about above all else. 
“Slytherin Primaries are fiercely loyal to the people they care for most. Slytherin is the place where “you’ll make your real friends”– they prioritize individual loyalties and find their moral core in protecting and caring for the people they are closest to. Slytherin’s reputation for ambition comes from the visibility of this promotion of the self and their important people– ambition is something you can find in all four Houses; Slytherin’s is just the one that looks most obviously selfish.”
However, Loki’s trauma has pushed him to something this system calls Petrifying.
“Whether through death, betrayal, abandonment (from either side), or through never having had any to begin with, the Petrified Slytherin has decided that having important people is too dangerous. Having those strong ties leaves you open to pain and weakness, and the pleasure of those connections aren’t worth the despair that comes from their seemingly inevitable loss. In this way, they close themselves off to meaningful connections out of what is ultimately fear (though from the inside, it’s far more likely to be experienced as a rational, sensible decision given the circumstances of the world), and gives them a stony exterior that seems impenetrable, resolute, and cold.” 
Loki wants love and acceptance so badly, but he is convinced that the kind of attachments and relationships that that comes from are far too dangerous and the risk isn’t worth the reward. He pushes people away, hides behind a mask of self-aggrandizement, and betrays others before they can betray him in an attempt to protect himself from potential pain.
In the series, however, we see him slowly unpetrify and move towards a more healthy style of attachment because of Mobius and Sylvie’s influence on him. Whereas his circle of priorities used to include only himself (and arguably Frigga and later, Thor, in the movie timeline), he proverbially “thaws” enough to let Mobius and Sylvie in, and tragically, because of that, the loss of them hurts him so deeply because by the end of season 1, they’re all he had.
His Slytherin Secondary, however, is obvious in his methodology. He’s the god of chaos. He loves improvisation, and plans only exist as long as another better idea doesn’t come along and usurp it. He’ll change and adapt (quite literally) to best fit the situation in front of him, and he takes joy in that. But beneath all the running and his many personas, he has his “neutral state” that he lets only a precious few see. Mobius gets to see it, and so does Sylvie, and as he progresses through the series, he starts to be more comfortable existing in that state where he’s no longer hiding behind everything he feels like the world expects him to be and he can just be himself. 
Mobius: Slytherin Primary (Hufflepuff Model)/Hufflepuff Secondary - sorting: Slytherin House
People like to put Mobius in Hufflepuff, but honestly? I don’t think that’s where he’d be most comfortable. Yes, he is kind and caring to basically everyone, and we see this over and over again in the series. The man radiates comfort. However, like it says in Inky and Kat’s description of the Slytherin Primary, 
“Wanting to help someone doesn’t mean you’re loyal to them. Wanting to help them at the expense of your comforts, your values, your commitments and sometimes even yourself–that does.”
Mobius is kind to a fault. But he is not kind at the expense of himself. Not to everyone at least. He is kind to the child in France, but he is not kind to the point of saving him from the resetting of the timeline, and he doesn’t feel guilty about that. He believes in a duty of care, but he does not believe he has any obligation to go beyond what he thinks that duty of care is. He unapologetically plays favorites, and this is mentioned on multiple occasions. Above all else, Mobius values loyalty as a virtue. Sure, he cares about the TVA and its accompanying morality, and he genuinely does believe it’s his duty to care about and be kind to others. He seems to vibe quite well with the Hufflepuff ideal of caring about people simply because they are people, but this is all secondary to his personal loyalties when push comes to shove. For Mobius,
“dropping that model in order to stand by someone you love, or in order to protect yourself, doesn’t feel like a failing. Sticking to that modelled morality at the expense of betraying or abandoning one of their own would make a Slytherin feel guilty and wrong. Being able to put the things and concepts you like aside for the sake of the people who need you feels more righteous than any moral posturing.”
It’s for this very reason that Mobius gets so angry and feels so betrayed when he thinks Loki has abandoned him for Sylvie, and when Ravonna lies to him and prunes him.
“Betraying your own is the worst kind of crime. Loyalty is precious and terrible; it makes you vulnerable. It’s given sparingly, deeply, and a Slytherin will stand by their loyalties through the same death and fire that a Gryffindor would brave for the sake of doing the right thing, or a Hufflepuff to help someone in need.”
Loki is Mobius’ own. Mobius prioritizes Loki over almost everything else, sticks his neck out for him over and over again, and is willing to sacrifice his own happiness for him. He’s even willing to abandon the whole of his former ideology and prior friendships for this relationship that has become closer to him than his own self, the highest tier of trust and loyalty a Slytherin can give.
“It’s an extreme Slytherin who would let the whole world burn for the sake of a friend, but every Slytherin Primary would be at the very least tempted.”
And Mobius very nearly does exactly that. Even says the words, “burn it to the ground” when Loki asks him what he’s going to do. And he doesn’t feel bad about it. Especially after realizing what the TVA has done to him and the people he cares about. He kicks the TVA out of his circle of care, and doesn’t look back. And he does it for Loki.
Mobius’ Secondary is where people get his Hufflepuff vibes from, I think. A Hufflepuff secondary is marked by “their consistency and the integrity of their method. They’re our hard workers. They build habits and systems for themselves and accomplish things by keeping at them. They have a steadiness that can make them the lynchpin (though not usually the leader) of a community.” And that is what Mobius is. It’s why he radiates that kindness and comfort. He quietly and carefully works at and invests in the relationships in his life to the point that people almost automatically trust him, and over time he has learned how to read people and figure out what makes them tick. 
He approaches new situations with a steady head and gentle hand that Loki is unused to, and it’s this approach that eases Loki into learning how to trust and rely on people. It’s an inherently Hufflepuff approach, and it’s the key to his success as an analyst for the TVA and an understanding friend for Lokis across the timelines.
Tl;dr - Application to an actual Hogwarts AU fic:
THEREFORE! There’s a compelling narrative to be had with a tiny, first-year Loki coming into Hogwarts. He comes from a pureblood family that’s very proud of their Gryffindor heritage (they don’t talk about Hela, and Loki and Thor don’t even know she exists until later in this story), and his brother had been sorted into Gryffindor a couple years prior, and Loki has heard very little other than contempt for Slytherin House and everyone in it. Loki doesn’t want to be sorted into Slytherin. He doesn’t want to deal with the disappointment and shame from his father and the sad eyes of his brother. But the sorting hat sorts him there almost immediately, and his heart sinks. He wanders over to the table miserably but determined. If he’s gonna be sorted into the “evil” house, might as well just run with it, right? Best not to get close to people though. It’s Slytherin. Who knows when someone will betray you.
Enter Mobius, the tiny muggleborn, bright eyed, bushy tailed, and having no clue about the prejudices between houses. The hat takes a hot minute sorting him, giving him the choice between Hufflepuff and Slytherin and telling him Hufflepuff would love a kindhearted and welcoming member like him. But Mobius has been eyeing the little black-haired kid who got sorted before him and is now sitting far apart from everyone, and he can’t help but feel like he needs to be this kid’s friend. And didn’t the hat just say Slytherin is where you’ll make your real friends? Friends are what Mobius cares about, so he’d like to go to Slytherin, thank you very much, so that’s where he goes, and he happily plunks himself down right next to Loki and sticks his hand out.
“I’m Mobius. What’s your name?”
 Loki looks at Mobius’ hand disdainfully and doesn’t shake it, but he does answer, “Loki.”
Mobius’ eyes go wide, and he smiles. “Loki? Like after the Norse god?”
Loki nods, eyeing Mobius suspiciously. People don’t often bat an eye at his name. Not in the wizarding world, anyway.
“Wow, that’s so cool! I loved reading about Norse mythology in school and Loki was always my favorite. Names have power, you know. If you’ve got the same name, then you must be just as awesome.”
Loki has no idea what to do with this kid, but he’s immediately aware of two things:
He’s absolutely sure that this Mobius kid is in the wrong house. No way a Slytherin can be this excited without a single hint of deception in his face.
He’s going to be eaten alive by the other students if Loki doesn’t protect him. What a pain.
Loki is completely wrong on both of these points.
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t4tlawlight · 4 years ago
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Occam's razor is the principle that, of two explanations that account for all the facts, the simpler one is more likely to be correct.
this post is going to cover traits specific to the manga and the television drama, since those are the best adaptations to showcase L’s autism. THIS POST is required reading before you read anything i’m about to type, because it explains what kind of character niche L falls into--an unintentionally autistic coded character. i’ll talk more about that at the end.
i’m going to talk about manga L first, since he’s the original version after all. i’m going to go in order of physical traits, to behavioral, to his character writing. also, tumblr eats posts that have outside links, so i’m going to have my non-tumblr sources in a separate post, here.
anyways, more under the cut!
MANGA/ANIME:
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sitting with his legs up and spine bent / sitting on the floor
this is such a big one and its extremely common in ppl with autism. sitting in chairs normally is uncomfortable to outright painful w many ppl with these disorders, myself included. L sitting like that (which, to recall, is a blatant homage to sherlock holmes, another character that is so blatantly autistic coded you can find absolutely ridiculous amounts of writing on the topic) and being like "I HAVE TO SIT LIKE THIS TO THINK PROPERLY" is so autistic. like sitting in a certain way to give you specific sensory stimulus/avoid distracting discomfort and pain is a thing. i found this post (1) written by an autistic person on the topic of sitting in chairs being uncomfortable, and it says as much:
“I suspect that seating discomfort is common in autism (though by no means limited to autistic people). Many of us, particularly as children, benefit greatly from chairs designed to be non-stationary: rocking chairs, “fidget” chairs, and so forth. These can improve focus, compensate for proprioceptive hypo-sensitivity, and alleviate restlessness. In short, many “attention issues” can be fixed simply by providing a little motion for the person sitting. Small change, huge results. That's what accommodations do at their best. They make (often minor) adjustments that have profound impacts.”
so when L says that sitting the way he does, for a specific sensory experience, improves his ability to think, it’s perfectly in line with this idea. Also it’s a good pressure stim.
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standing with a slouch / shifting his weight around
to begin: yes! it’s very common for autistic people to stand or walk oddly for a number of different reasons, from physical comorbidity to other issues such as dyspraxia (see: movie L). From an article by YAI (2), an I/DD (intellectual and/or developmental disabilities) community program:
“Kyphosis (a curved spine), collapsed chest, dropped shoulders and even scoliosis are observed in many of our patients. These myriad of postural issues may result from reduced strength, decreased biomechanical stability, or from a sensory impairment, such as apraxia. 
Depending on the scene, L has mild to severe kyphosis which is very common in autistic individuals. Other things mentioned in that article if you want to click on it is instability in standing, where you sort of shift your weight around a lot between your  feet or rest all of your weight on one foot, which L is literally doing the first time we see all of him.
speaking with a monotone voice.
i obviously can’t show a picture for this one and it honestly depends on the voice actor you find for L, but in the anime in particular L has a very flat tone. a lot of this is bc he has a dry sense of humor but. just know that it’s very common for autistic people to have a flat affect (or go the other way into being too loud/emotive).
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his eating habits. 
a lot (a LOT) of autistic ppl myself included can only eat certain kinds of food for texture and flavor reasons. HOWEVER there’s a term in the autism community called “samefoods” which is really well put by tumblr users candidlyautistic and autism-asks: 
“Samefoods or samefooding is a community word to describe the autistic trait of eating the same food over, and over and over . . . It is part sensory, part routine driven in most cases. A lot of times we samefood because we need that particular mouthfeel / texture / taste, and a lot of times even after that need passes, it turns into a need for routine until you actively dislike that food again.”
“Samefooding on the other hand is closer to a special interest. When I have a samefood (chocolate ice cream, currently), I really, really want that food. I could eat that food endlessly and not get tired of it. I will get upset if I’m not able to have the food in a day. For me, it usually is kind of routine based as well. For instance, with my current samefood, I have some in the evenings and it’s become part of how I wind down from my day.”
we don’t know exactly why L specifically desires sweet food or if he considers it part of his routine, but what we do know is that he really wants to eat sweet food and avoids eating anything other than sweet food, so it could either be that he’s a picky eater and can’t handle savory or he’s samefooding on sweets!
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wearing the same clothes
L wears the same clothes every single day. It’s also worth noting that what he does wear is baggy, too-big clothing, the kind that wouldn’t be tight and uncomfortable. once again, sensory issues are a huge thing for autistic individuals. one of my favorite aspects is that in no adaptation does he wear socks. even L wears shoes, he wears them like slippers, not putting them on all the way. people comment that he seems like he’s poor, but we know for a fact that he’s very rich and that wearing these clothes is a personal choice he made.
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not caring for himself/outsourcing his self-care
i don’t think one day is exactly canon, rather it’s an exaggeration of what might actually happen--i.e. L doesn’t have a huge closet full of the same outfit, but he does have several versions of the same outfit on rotation; L doesn’t use a human washing machine, but Watari might help him/encourage him to bathe regularly. One Day is a parody comic, but it was made by the creators for a reason and that reason is that L pretty obviously relies on a caretaker (Watari) for his personal needs. Watari, in the manga proper, cooks and cleans and does most things for L. we’ll come back to this topic when we get to the drama though.
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doing stimming behaviors
if you don’t know what stimming is, it refers to self-stimulating behaviors, usually involving repetitive movements or sounds. everyone stims to some extent, but in autism it tends to be more obvious, go on for longer, and sometimes be more disruptive to others. it’s often used to help deal with sensory overload, or used to express feelings--think of an autistic person being happy and flapping their hands in the air.
there are a LOT of instances of L displaying stimming behavior, from stacking his food or things on his desk, to spinning in his chair, to biting his fingers/using them to press on his lips, to wriggling and tapping his toes. here are some specific instances:
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there are a lot more. i’ll talk about more when we get to dramaverse, but if you rewatch/reread death note it’s definitely worth noting whenever L does something like this!
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detective work as a special interest
ok, first and foremost i want to establish what a special interest is. Tumblr user cartoon has my favorite explanation of what a special interest is that i’ve seen to date: 
“To have a deep, intense, passionate and incredibly focused / narrowed interest in a certain area of study, subject, topic or thing - to the exclusion of other interests. This interest is something that exists for the long-term, most often lasting for multiple months, years, or even you’re entire life “
L says that he only does detective work because it’s a hobby, and he finds it entertaining. We’ve also seen that he’s been at it for quite some time--if you take side content (the wammy’s house comic, LABB) seriously, then he’s been at it since childhood, with unwavering interest. it definitely comes across to me as L having a special interest in detective work, rather than it just being a normal hobby or a job for him, especially since he says it isn’t out of any moral obligation.
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germaphobia
Germaphobia is very common for individuals with autism. a lot of the time it’s actually sensory issues associated with “dirty” things, and a lot of the time it’s because features of OCD are heavily comorbid with autism, including contamination OCD and such fears. regardless of the reason, though, L’s aversion to touching Bad Things is a very autistic behavior, and so is his resulting quirk that he tends to hold things in a very odd manner!
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muted emotional expression
this is getting more into L’s character, but L tends to feel and express emotions in a very muted way. not to say he doesn’t have them, but for instance in the example above, L doesn’t have a solid grasp on what exactly he’s feeling. he thinks he might be acting irrationally and overemotionally because he logically should be afraid, but he isn’t sure, and none of these emotions present themselves visibly. 
i’ve also seen it said that Ukita’s death is another good example of his muted response to emotion--he tells Aizawa to stay rational and his voice doesn’t waver as he tells him as much, but he holds himself tightly. for someone with poor emotional competence, these physical signs of distress can be hard to read in oneself, but Aizawa (a man who is extremely in-tune with his emotions) can tell immediately.
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high logic, low empathy
L is also a character who, like many autistic people, lacks a certain degree of empathy. it’s not that he doesn’t have any, but it’s limited enough--and he values logic over it enough--that he’s willing to make extreme decisions and take a “ends justify the means” approach (such as using people as bait.) in the example above, L takes a moment to work through what it must actually feel like, which rings as very autistic.
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bluntness/not caring about social convention
there are so many examples of this i honestly could list them all day, but L is a character who is very to-the-point and doesn’t care about mincing his words. he can be outright rude to the people around him, especially if he considers them not worth basic courtesy. see: Matsuda. 
DRAMAVERSE
if you all knew me you should have known this section is inevitable. i’m not going to talk about every single adaptation because i do not have the time and the only other adaptation that is meaningful in that regard is the movieverse (i am fairly certain that movie L is dyspraxic) but on account of the fact that i don’t care about them i won’t subject you all to them here.
anyway, drama L shows much the same traits as animanga L above (they are, after all, technically the same character) but he displays them in different ways. 
he has a much more advanced degree of germaphobia, with Watari saying he’s sensitive to outside air and spraying everyone who enters his space with disinfectant, but not making them wash their hands or anything like that, so we can kind of tell that his issues are more rooted, again, in a fear of germs rather than any actual medical issue. he wants to feel as though he is clean, not necessarily actually be clean. this is very common in contamination OCD, which has a high comorbidity with autism. (my girlfriend has a very good headcanon post about drama L and OCD that isn’t so much analysis than just plain fun, but it’s worth a read!)
he stims, but he has a different array of stims than animanga L--he chews on his jelly pouch bottles, 
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he tosses it between his hands, 
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he kicks his feet,
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and he bounces in his chair.
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he still sits in an unconventional manner. he still samefoods, this time even more exclusively--he only eats Lucky Charge jelly pouches and nutritional bars. Watari onscreen puts his shirts on for him, as well as cooking, cleaning, and mending his clothes for him.
however, there are a few traits that are drama-exclusive that i think really add to an analysis of his autism!
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social scripting
social scripting and echolalic scripting are both commonly described as “scripting,” but are very different! echolalic scripting is like echolalia, but echolalic scripting is the recitation of longer passages of dialogue from things the individual has heard before. but social scripting is when you memorize common conversations so you can rattle it off without worrying too much! this can be very handy, such as exchanging basic pleasantries or ordering food, but it can also backfire if someone responds in a way your script’s not set up for. you can find more information on the difference in this video (3). 
now, this relates to L in that there are two separate scenes where L says the same thing, rather inappropriately:
L: When I consider Kira’s personality, could it be that the strong-willed daughter is Kira? Or could that sweet-looking son of yours surprise us by proving to be him? You never know what humans are hiding beneath the surface... Soichiro: Enough. L: Sorry. It was just a joke.
-- Episode 2
L: Light-kun. Oh, I’m sorry... If I called you “Yagami-san,” it would be the same as what I call your father.  Light: That’s okay. Call me whatever you want. L: Then what about Kira? (silence) L: It's a joke.
-- Episode 4
one could say that L just has a terrible sense of humor--and, of course, having a poor grasp of humor is common with autistic individuals--but the fact that he says nearly the same thing as a defense twice makes me feel as though he has it rehearsed as a defense when people react poorly to things he’s said, which happens often.
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mirroring and echolalia
echolalia was briefly covered in the previous example, but for those unaware, via wikipedia (4):
Echolalia is the unsolicited repetition of vocalizations made by another person (when repeated by the same person, it is called palilalia). In its profound form it is automatic and effortless.
mirroring, on the other hand, is explained as such, also via wikipedia (5):
Mirroring is the behavior in which one person unconsciously imitates the gesture, speech pattern, or attitude of another. Mirroring often occurs in social situations, particularly in the company of close friends or family. The concept often affects other individuals' notions about the individual that is exhibiting mirroring behaviors, which can lead to the individual building rapport with others.
both of these are very common in autism, and they’re exemplified while L’s character is established watching his favorite TV show, Owarai Paradise. On one occasion, he’s watching the show and this dialogue happens:
Hiroshi: Despite never telling her how I felt, I still got dumped. I am Hiroshi.  Watari: Who was this one again? L: He is Hiroshi. Hiroshi: I am Hiroshi. I am Hiroshi.
-- Episode 2
it’s important to note that in Japanese, “He is Hiroshi” and “I am Hiroshi” are said, at least in this instance, exactly the same, so L is echoing precisely what he’s heard.
On another occasion, L is again watching the show with a glass of wine (seemingly acquired simply to imitate the characters onscreen, as he never drinks it) and when the characters onscreen toast their glasses, L does the same, mirroring them. 
CONCLUSION
I linked a post at the very beginning of this analysis talking about how characters are unintentionally autistic coded, and it’s important to understand how this unintentional coding is different from a headcanon--i didn’t make up these traits. they aren’t something that only exist in my head that i ascribe to L for fun. 
i made this analysis both because i wanted to share L’s autistic coding in one cohesive place, because plenty of people have made lists before, but none that i could find that included so many examples with images and explanations--and i also made it because of the old ryuzaki persona “theory.” 
for those unaware, the ryuzaki persona headcanon suggests that L faked all of these traits in order to make people uncomfortable, to put them off-guard and better mask his identity. i’ve seen posts about people claiming that nobody could actually behave in these ways, that L would surely be unhappy and uncomfortable sitting like that, or eating like that, or engaging in any of these behaviors. I’ve seen some people outright say that L isn’t autistic, but his persona is--that is, he’s pretending to be autistic.
i named this essay “occam’s razor” because, to me, L being autistic is the simplest answer to account for all of these traits. claiming that an autistic coded character is faking it is ableist and it just doesn’t make sense with anything else we know about his character.
but if you want to know more about that, i recommend reading eyecicles’ first!L tag. it’s debunked it in more ways than i ever could.
anyways, in conclusion
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thedistantdusk · 4 years ago
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Do you think ginny loved harry during the brief time they were dating in hbp? Or maybe she just really liked him and then fell in love with him after the war? Idk because imo its kinda obvious that harry is very much in love with her through hbp and dh but ginny only says to him "maybe thats why i LIKE you so much." Also we don't really get to see a lot of her thought process in regards to her feelings with harry as the books are obviously from his pov so what do you think?
Ooooof! Y’all keep hitting me with the deep deep questions! I’ll do my best to oblige 😀
So, for this one, let’s start with Harry. We’re talking about a dude who has never heard anyone say “I love you.” Ever. The closest he gets is “Love from Hermione” at the ends of letters, and things with her (in canon) are just so ludicrously platonic that I don’t even think he would make the jump between types of love... and the fact that “love” is a single word in English to describe a variety of feelings about a variety of relationships is an interesting lexical gap, but I digress...
Ahem! Anyway, it took Harry seeing Ginny kissing someone else for him to figure out he had romantic feelings for her. Prior to the Dean incident, he just had “twinges of annoyance” when he considered her with someone else. He didn’t particularly think about these too hard... which, again, is not an uncommon coping mechanism for kids who’ve never received the tools to deal with their own childhood abuse.
That being said, we as readers can identify Harry’s self-described feelings in HBP (Ginny as his “best source of comfort” etc etc) as likely being in love with her, or close to it... but no, I don’t personally think Harry had a clue. He obviously didn’t know the extent of what awaited him prior to Dumbledore’s death, but I do think he knew, deep down, that he and Ginny wouldn’t be together indefinitely. Harry’s trained trauma response is to believe nothing good will happen to him, and since his relationship with Ginny is arguably the best thing that’s ever happened to him (“like living someone else’s life”), it’s only logical that he wouldn’t expect it to last, either.
For Ginny, this is a whole different ballgame, because you’re right — there’s not a lot in canon on her particular feelings, largely since the series isn’t from her POV. Still, I do think she knew (as Harry did, to some degree) that their relationship was remarkable. They’re two of the only two people who know what it’s like to live with that much darkness in your head and still emerge on the other end. The fact that they’re both extremely passionate and deeply attracted to each other is just an added bonus.
So: was Ginny in love with him? Probably, as much as a 15 year old who has lusted after a boy for most of her life can be. We know from canon that Ginny’s considerably more reflective and self-aware than Harry is, but would she have admitted she was in love with him, if only to herself? Imo, probably not. I don’t think she’d see the value in arriving at that conclusion, because it would ultimately result in more heartache. Keep in mind that Ginny has the benefit here of knowing Harry very, very well. She’s spent years studying him and knowing what his stormy expressions mean and even knowing what to say when he gets upset. Even if she had admitted to herself that she was in love with him, she knew that saying as much would have freaked Harry the hell out. (And yes, I 100% think she saw the breakup coming, but that’s another topic for another time!)
So... I hope that long-winded ramble answers your questions! A lot of this will be addressed in the next chapter of Noticing, so I appreciate the ask because it got me more focused! 😀
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insaneasgardian · 4 years ago
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Arachnid Enigma - Irondad and Spiderson
Inspired by a headcanon from @cassiecasyl
“I just had this thought... Tony suddenly gets hyperfixated on spiders and noone knows why. The first time the Avengers notice it's on a mission and it's not weird, he's a genius after all, they figure he just knows stuff. But then he begins rambling about spiders randomly. And sometimes he speaks about some issues like it's personal experience but he doesn't have a pet spider, Nat confirmed that?? What is going on???”
And an addition to it by @savvysass
“Lmao then spiderman walks in and they r like ah. Ok.”
............................................................................................
Also, this is an Irondad and Spiderson fic. I do NOT ship Starker for obvious reasons. If you do, I would like you to leave my blog.
🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️ 🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️ 🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️ 🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️ 🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️ 🦸‍♀️🦹‍♂️🦸‍♂️🦹‍♀️
There have been several times Tony Stark has displayed a fascination with arachnids. The first time Tony ever mentioned spiders was on a stealth mission in Bhutan where a HYDRA base had been spotted. It was supposed to be relatively easy, break in, grab intel, don’t be seen, and get out. It was a successful mission but not everything went according to plan.
“I’m in” Steve spoke into his comms as he looked around the HYDRA base he had just infiltrated. “No sign of any people, just a lot of spiders and dust”, he added, eyeing the critters that scuttled around the dark and grimy area.
“Of course there are,” Tony commented, “HYDRA isn’t exactly a stickler for cleanliness, and spiders love dirty, sooty, nasty areas to live in”. Steve proceeded to roll his eyes at the obvious remark. It was just Tony being Tony.
“Has everyone managed to locate the entrance?”, The Captain inquired, getting plenty of affirmative responses. Soon enough, everyone managed to enter the building and joined Steve in the large room he stood in.
There was no illumination except for the few rays sunlight that filtered in through the cathedral window. Just as Steve had said, there was an immense amount of dust settled all over the floor, window, and grand staircase that led to the second floor, along with a lot of arachnids. Clint stepped forward, accidentally crunching a couple of spiders under his foot. Tony clenched his jaw tightly, “Don’t. DO THAT!” he hissed extremely loudly, alarming everyone.
Clint gulped, “Geez, sorry”. Unfortunately for the team of heroes, Tony had not only surprised his colleagues but the occupants of the building too. Shuffling and a lot of movement was heard, and before the Avengers could retreat, the enemy confronted them.
“Great work Tony”, Natasha mumbled angrily under her breath when she saw several HYDRA agents rushing down the stairs. Earth’s mightiest heroes worked quickly and efficiently to take out the flocks and flocks of operatives running at them. Although it wasn’t a very hard job, it still took out the stealth element out of their job.
After the oncoming threat was wiped out and the data they needed had been collected, the team swiftly exited the base and entered the quinjet where Bruce was waiting for them. “What happened?” the scientist asked, inspecting his friends who were covered in gore.
Sam sighed, “Tony happened”, he stated simply.
Another time Tony spoke of the arachnids was when they had a day off, and decided to spend them with Clint’s family at their farm. It was around now that a few of the heroes began to suspect that Tony wasn’t just knowledgeable about the eight legged critters, but he was utterly fascinated by them.
“Thank you again for having us Laura” Wanda said, earning a kind smile from Clint’s wife.
“It was no problem at all!” she responded, putting together some quick snacks for the whole team.
The Avengers had a great time with the Bartons. Chatting and laughing, gossiping and giggling. It was fun. Just before they were about to leave and as Clint kissed his wife goodbye, a little shriek was heard. It was Nathaniel Barton.
Everybody was alarmed at first, thinking something terrible had happened to the boy, but when they saw the cause, they couldn’t help burst out laughing. A large house spider was crawling on Nathaniel’s show. Although spiders were the cause of a rational phobia, the team of heroes did not fear the hairy critter before them.
Tony stepped forward and picked up the spider, placing it somewhere it would be safe, and also where Nathaniel wouldn’t freak out over it. He then turned to the youngest Barton child, “Don’t worry kid,” he began “spiders are great creatures! Honestly, they’re really cute, and nice, and brave”. 
Thor snickered, “You speak of spiders as if they’re people”. Tony opened his mouth to say something, but then hurriedly shut it and looked away from the group. Tony was quiet. That was a first. What was happening to Tony? 
Meanwhile, Rhodey stood in the corner, looking at the confused glances his friends gave each other as they attempted to figure out what was causing Tony’s new behavior. He smiled, and this didn’t go unnoticed by Loki who narrowed his eyes slightly and chewed his lip in thought. What did Colonel James know?
To mention one more instance in which Tony displayed an unusual interest in spiders was just the day after the Avengers visit to the Bartons. Nick Fury had brought his pet tarantula to work and the team was crowded around it.
“What’s his name?” Sam curiously inquired.
“It’s Bert,” the director responded, sounding rather bored, “I got him from Agent Hill’s house,  she despises spiders”. 
Tony looked at Maria, who was standing quite far away from Bert, cautiously watching him. “Don’t be scared Maria!” he exclaimed, “They’re gentle, come closer”. The agent’s eyes widened in fear and she rapidly shook her head which made a few of the Avengers chuckle. “Come on”, Tony encouraged. 
Maria looked around the room for an escape, but seeing that everyone in the room had conveniently blocked the exits she sighed and walked closer. “Go on and pet him”, Fury remarked, clearly amused at the situation. Agent Hill desperately wanted to refuse but she didn’t want to chicken out so she carefully held out a finger and ran it over the tarantula’s hairy body.
She wanted to puke.
“See! It’s not so bad!” Steve said, smiling at her. Still, the agent quickly pulled away. Spiders were definitely not her thing. “Yes, spiders are just as scared of humans and some humans are of them,” Tony began, “they’re quite shy actually but very gentle! They won’t hurt anybody unless they feel provoked-”
“What is it with you and spiders?” Bruce cut him off with a playful grin. The genius billionaire playboy philanthropist froze and all the humor initially on his features disappeared. Everyone noticed this change in behavior and Bruce fidgeted uncomfortably, believing he had upset his lab buddy. “I mean... you just speak of them a lot, do you have like a pet spider or something?”
Tony remained quiet but Natasha answered, “No, he doesn’t have any pets”. The group turned to the redheaded assassin and she shrugged, “What? I’m a spy, I know stuff”. 
A silence fell over once again, and it was interrupted by Tony. “Oh! I got a business meeting soon, see you guys later”, and with that, he turned and trudged away just as Phil Coulson walked in. Tony bumped into him, “Sorry Agent” he mumbled quietly before proceeding to walk out.
Phil shot Nick and Maria a confused look, and both returned it. The Avengers on the other hand knew for sure something was up.
The last time the Avengers wondered about Tony’s obsession with spiders was also the time they found out its cause. The entire team was just about to enter Tony’s lab.
“Sleep well spidey boy” are exactly the words the Avengers heard Tony whisper before they could walk into his lab. They all heard it, and looked around at each other for confirmation that they were hearing the right thing. They then proceeded to have a conversation right outside Tony’s work space. A quick one, in which they decided it was time to confront Tony about his spider problem. There was nothing wrong with loving them, but talking to a spider? This was unhealthy.
So they opened the door to the lab and walked in on a very surprised Tony Stark, his face paled, but he regained his composure. “Heyyyy, what’s up guys?” he asked, casually leaning against a wall. 
His superhero friends looked at him sadly and Steve stepped forward, “Tony, I think it’s time we talked about-” he was interrupted by a snore. Captain America agitatedly glanced back, “Can you guys please be serious?”, he requested. However, everyone behind him was looking confused.
Then a cough was heard, then another, it then developed into a coughing fit. Then there was silence. Until there wasn’t. “Oh shoot! I am so sorry Mr Stark, did I disturb yo-... OH MY GOD IT’S THE AVENGERS!”, a voice came from the ceiling. The group collectively looked up and saw a boy, no older than 16 with wavy brown hair and adorable doe brown eyes gaping at them.
Tony tiredly rubbed his eyes, “Hope you had a nice nap Peter,” he said, “Come down now”. The boy, Peter, obliged and hopped down from the ceiling without injuring himself. 
“How did you do that? Stick to the ceiling I mean” Bucky asked.
Peter looked at the super soldier and smiled brightly, “I’m spiderman!”, he practically yelled, “It’s what I do!”. The Avengers all looked at this young boy in shock. 
“The kid from Queens?” Wanda asked.
“Yea, the kid from Queens,” Rhodey confirmed, “Tony kept Peter a secret this whole time as so not to endanger him”. 
The billionaire nodded and smiled sheepishly, “Secrets out now I guess...” he murmured.
There was silence, it wasn’t awkward or comfortable. It was the kind of silence that hung in the air after a huge revelation... It was astounded silence.
Tony broke it, he placed a hand on Peter’s shoulder and began guiding him out the room, “Come on kid, let’s go get some cheeseburgers”. With that, they stepped out the lab and left the rest of the people still standing there, completely appalled.
Steve turned back to the group he had led into the lab, “Well... that kind of explains the interest in spiders I guess...”
@emma-elsa-0000 @lost-lunar-wolf @joyful-soul-collector @teammightypen @blerghfish @incorrect-spiderson @only-love-can @badmcuposts @cassiecasyl @savvysass 
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theonceandfutureking6481 · 3 years ago
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BBC's Merlin Season 1 Episode 3: The Mark of Nimue Analysis
*SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE SHOW*
First off I always look fondly on this episode, mainly for Morgana being hilarious and epic, I mean she has the best line in the whole episode:
Arthur: You could get hurt
Morgana: So could you.... if you don't get out of my way
This episode is also fun and interesting from the perspectives of plot, characters and themes. Sorry, this is extremely long, I have a lot of opinions about Merlin.
Gwen and Merlin
This episode is in many ways about Gwen and Merlin's friendship, it is the driving force behind all of Merlin's actions within this episode and is the stepping stone for this show considering how to find a balance between acting for the greater good without suggesting that the ends justify the means.
Merlin and Gwen are first off just very sweet, their friendship is really characteristic of this show's representation of friendship overall, just genuine love and consideration for others. It is also self-sacrificing, that's one thing about the relationships in this show they are so self-sacrificing.
When Merlin says to Gwen "I didn't like to see you upset." It reveals a wonderful fact of Merlin's characterisation that I would argue stays consistent for the whole show. His motivation is always grounded in how much he cares for the people around him. He cares deeply about his friends and they are largely his reason for doing the things he does. This line is a wonderful parallel to in season 3 when Merlin decides to let Morgana die (after he accidentally trips her down the stairs), but then in the end he heals her because he couldn't watch everyone's grief. Merlin cannot separate his actions from the people he's doing them for, and he can't stand to see people hurt when he has the power to fix it because the people he loves are his motivation, they are the reason he wants a better world. This show does establish (as I'll discuss further down) that what seems immediately right (healing Gwen's father etc) isn't necessarily the right decision to make for the greater good. This is some ways always questions the validity of Merlin's motivations and his actions, but I'd argue it more seeks to find a balance. Besides a Merlin who didn't act motivated by his love for others is not a Merlin that could have helped Arthur build Camelot.
Medievalism: duty and social obligation
Quick disclaimer cause I'm touching on a more scholarly issue here that I have limited knowledge of, so I will undoubtedly make mistakes and this is my opinion. Everything I write is my opinion, but that's more obvious when I'm commenting on the themes of a fictional world rather than making a comment on actual fields of study which is what I'm doing here.
BBC's Merlin is an example of medievalism, it is an engagement with the medieval era (or ideas/images associated with it) for modern times. I honestly don't know that much about medievalism, or the medieval era, certainly not enough to make an extensive commentary on its representation in Merlin. One thing I would argue is that Merlin's representation of friendship has its roots in idealised views of the virtues of the medieval era. For many people the Middle Ages represents a time of duty and social obligation, this on one hand does lead to a stringent class divide but it also finds its idealisation in the sort of friendship represented by Merlin. The premise in most societies that place great value on social obligation is that the needs of the community outweigh the needs of the individual, that people should sacrifice themselves for the community as a whole. Every society places emphasis on this in different ways and to greater or lesser extents and our view of it as being prevalent in the medieval era is largely an idealisation based in some historical reality but also our own desires about what this era represents. There is a kind of social responsibility in the relationships in Merlin, there is a great emphasis on loyalty which is part of this idealisation. However, Merlin makes it more personal than is often depicted. We idealise social responsibility and obligation, it is often tied into the social roles of people such as loyalty to a king, or paying back debts of honour which is a form of social obligation. Merlin is more about friendship, it takes our idealisation of medieval social obligation and makes it the obligation and loyalty we owe to people who love us and who we love. I will always say that fundamentally Merlin as a show is about love, and it emphasises what we owe to people in our lives in a way I believe echoes idealisation of medieval loyalty.
This idea can also be seen in Arthur's fundamental trust of others, his fundamental assumption that everyone around him is not seeking to harm him, and that people are generally good. This ties a bit into the idea of social obligation. Arthur's idealised world is one in which people have bonds of social obligation towards each other, that people are seeking to act in the interests of the community. It's an idealisation, both of the medieval era but also an idealisation in Arthur's own head of the world he lives in.
Morgana and Gwen
Their relationship is somewhat expanded on in this episode, and they are just so sweet. Gwen gives Morgana flowers to cheer her up and its just lovely. They have a very genuine and close relationship. Morgana also has great respect for Gwen, for the work she does, and she treats her with respect.
Morgana: "If she was a sorceress, why would she kneel on the cold stone floor every morning if she could make these things happen with a snap of her fingers, like an idle king."
Aside from being one of Morgana's many quality burns towards Uther, this also illustrates one of her greatest characteristics, her empathy and genuine respect and admiration for what Gwen does everyday. She doesn't see the class divide in the same way Uther sees it or Arthur pretends to see it.
Also interesting note I heard in a Merlin podcast (I can't remember which episode), it could have been the episode about this episode. It's called Destiny and Chicken (you can listen to it on Spotify and anywhere else you find podcasts- they even did an interview of Bradley James who plays Arthur at one point), and its very good. But, they said something interesting about the paralleling between the relationship between Merlin and Arthur and the relationship between Morgana and Gwen. Both are fundamentally important and genuinely caring relationships for the character. However, for Morgana and Gwen (unlike Merlin and Arthur) the class divide remains much more in place, Gwen treats Morgana like her friend but she also treats her like her mistress in a way Merlin just doesn't with Arthur (especially not so early in the show when he's not so admiring of Arthur). This isn't to say their relationship is bad or has problems, its just different whilst still acting as a parallel. I'm not sure exactly the extent to which I agree or what this says overall in themes but its definitely interesting to think about.
Uther: "A Good and Terrible King."
This episode shows Uther at both his best and his worst which is always fun because Uther is a genuinely interesting character. I got the line from my favourite Merlin fanfiction Coronation by rageprufrock, which you should definitely read, I'll link it down the bottom, it's not too long so you can read it in half an hour. It's a character study of Arthur more than anything else and its amazing, wonderful and deeply poetic. Uther is not a huge part of this fanfic, its about Arthur's character and his relationship with Merlin and his kingdom, I'm not even sure he actually appears. This line though perfectly tapped into how I always felt about Uther so it connected:
"He's been a good and terrible father, a good and terrible king."
I often think in characterising Uther we do tend to villainise him to an extent which I personally don't find accurate. This is obviously just my opinion, and I have a tendency to think the best of people so more intensely negative views of Uther are very jarring for me. He did terrible things and I truly believe he is the ultimate villain of the show but he is very human and he could be a good king and he loved his children more than anything else. We cheapen Merlin's point if we cast Uther as pure evil, everyone is capable of evil just as much as goodness. Uther is the tragedy (like Morgana) of a person who could have been good or at least halfway decent corrupted and destroyed by his own hate and ignorance. That's the point of the parallels between Uther and Morgana, we love Morgana and she was capable of so much good, but she corrupted herself with hate.
Onto this episode, Uther shows both his capability and goodness as a king in this episode as well as his hatred and ignorance. Uther's initial reaction to the fact that the plague is caused by magic is a concern about his own authority, which isn't entirely unfounded, but does reveal a huge priority of his which is control. He fears not being able to control, that's were his cruelty as a father comes from and to some extent his opposition to magic. This does not show Uther in the best light, but his actions later in regards to dealing with the plague show a decent king who cares about his people. This scene in which he tells Arthur to shut off the lower town perfectly illustrates this:
Arthur: But what about the people who live there
Uther: Don't you think I haven't considered it? What else can I do? I have to protect the rest of the city
In this situation Uther is right, there is very little other choice, he's making a hard call but it's one he has to make, and he seems genuinely distressed at having to make it. He does care about his people's well being, and he feels the burden of their protection, he can be a good King. Much of Arthur's story is in breaking away from the legacy of Uther, and rightly so, but Uther also taught him many things and one of those things is the duty Arthur has towards his people, it's a duty he takes even more seriously than Uther, but nonetheless he learnt it from him.
This however, as I've hinted, is not the whole story of this episode, Uther is also shown at his worst, and his worst is his ignorance and prejudice towards magic. He is willing to sacrifice justice and even sacrifices logical thought to his blind persistence that magic is evil.
Arthur: She's right Father. You hear the word magic you no longer listen.
Uther: You saw it for yourself, she used enchantments.
Arthur: Yes, maybe. To save her dying father, that doesn't make her guilty of creating a plague. One's the act of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart
Aside from what this says about Arthur. Arthur's comment about Uther hits right to the point of things "you hear the word magic you no longer listen". You no longer listen implies its a choice, and it is. Uther has made the choice for the last 20 years to choose to go on a dogmatic campaign of hate against magic because its easier than considering the alternative, that he was complicit in his wife's death. What Uther says immediately after "there are dark forces threatening this kingdom." is the argument used by so many people throughout history, used to justify so much hate. That there is an evil out there threatening the stability of life, that the world must be controlled and people have to live a certain way or risk destroying their own lives. It's an argument that justifies campaigns of hate and makes them personal to ordinary people who usually wouldn't care, and it is always a lie, that's not how the world works.
This episode thus shows Uther at his best and his worst, both a dutiful king and a stubborn tyrant. It's a tragedy of what he could of been, and shows how twisted up people can become when they justify their decisions with hate and fear.
Arthur
This is the first episode where Arthur really opposes Uther, he directly questions Uther's indiscriminate hatred of magic, and an episode where he realises to an extent he perhaps hadn't before some of the ways in which Uther has failed as a king. He also consciously acts in deception of Uther, because he can see Uther can't see sense. Arthur shows far more nuance of view than Uther does, understanding (even whilst still accepting as he will for a long time that magic is dangerous and it corrupts) that using magic doesn't make you automatically evil. To see the world the way Uther does is a conscious choice, you have to choose to be blind to the virtues of every apparent magic user you come across, you have to believe harmless spells are the signs of greater evil. Arthur is not someone who lets his own cowardice blind himself to reality, and so his worldview can see far more nuance than Uther can.
"One's the act of kindness, of love, the other of evil. I don't believe evil's in this girl's heart."
He further has a very positive view of others, Arthur will always see the good in people and that is a great strength in my view. In a lot of versions of the story Arthur's not just inspiring because he's good but because he assumes others are good too, he trusts people to do the right thing and I do believe that, that can inspire people to do the right thing. It's funny in Merlin Arthur's trust gets betrayed so many times but it never really hardens his heart, he continues to trust people no matter how many times he gets betrayed. This can be seen in his perception of Guinevere here, he will not assume she is evil because she has made a mistake, he can see the virtue in her actions, and he will assume goodness until proven otherwise. Innocent until proven guilty, in other words. It's its own form of justice, a justice Uther is forgetting, its a tenant of many legal systems and its a tenant Arthur clearly supports.
Arthur is also seeing his role as the king of Camelot in creating a Camelot that he would like to live in.
"Yes I am yet to be king, and I don't know what type of king I will be. But I do have a sense of the type of Camelot I would wish to live in. It would be where the punishment fits the crime."
It's not the Camelot he would wish to rule, its the Camelot he would wish to live in. Arthur wants to live in a just world, he wants his people to be treated with justice just as he would like to be treated with justice. This further illustrates that unlike Uther he is not letting anger or ignorance blind him to reality, he wants the world he lives in to be fair without exception.
Finding the Balance between The Greater Good and The Immediate Good
The Greater Good is a tricky concept, you can justify any amount of cruelty if it will lead to good later on, but do the ends justify the means? It's not really a question its ever possible to provide a definitive answer for. It's easy to say that they don't, that you should just do the right thing, the nice thing, the good thing in the moment but actions have consequences and doing the good thing all the time (especially in a position where thousands of lives depend on you) is not usually possible. Merlin tackles this theme, I believe, quite well, trying to find a balance between acting for the greater good and acting with what is immediately good, and this episode is a good example.
In a just and fair world you would be able to do good all the time, but this is not the case for everything, though you should never use the worlds not fair as an argument for not doing good things but I digress. Merlin's decision to save Gwen's father ultimately backfires on Gwen because the world is not fair, the world Uther has created mean even these acts of love are punishable with death. Because, for Uther, magic is magic, and magic is evil. Gaius was, in this situation, ultimately right, Merlin can't always do what is easy and what feels right because the consequences may not be good. In other matters like closing off the lower town, Arthur's initial response is concern for the people who live their, but Uther's right he has to make this one tough decision because otherwise he risks the whole city.
However, Uther's attitude to Gwen (aside from revealing his own stubbornness and prejudice) is an example of the greater good taken too far. He has absolutely no evidence that killing Gwen will stop this plague, but he's making that sacrifice anyway because it might, that is not justice or fair or anything resembling goodness. And he justifies his decisions with what I've already said is an age old argument- "These decisions must be made. There are dark forces threatening this kingdom." This is just another version of any easy choice, acting without regard to the greater good is an easy choice but so is ignoring what is immediately right in pursuit of some ambiguous goodness. He's confusing his own weakness and ignorance for strength.
The point Merlin is, I believe trying to make is that there must be a balance. Sometimes you have to pursue the greater good, but the ends don't really justify the means.
There is a reason Arthur and Merlin will create the Camelot of legend and Uther and Gaius don't, Merlin and Arthur aren't going to sacrifice their own goodness for the sake of the greater good. Merlin for one ensures Arthur never has to, its sad but Merlin in many ways makes the harsh and cruel decisions that Arthur never has to make. However, he also often doesn't make those decisions. He reaches a point where he wants to let people die, but he never actively attempts to kill Morgana or Mordred by himself unless it is an absolute in the moment choice between them and Arthur, and even though there is plenty of moral ambiguity about that and plenty of debates you can have about that. Fundamentally the point remains, Uther would have killed them and that's why he could never be the king Arthur would be or the influence for decency Merlin would be, the ends don't ever entirely justify the means. Besides if Merlin had thought that and killed Mordred and Morgana for their possible futures he would not have been the decent person he was and he could not have helped Arthur build a good Camelot, Camelot would not have existed if Merlin had acted entirely with the greater good in mind to ensure Camelot's future.
Other Stuff
Gwen's scene in the cell is so terribly sad, she's trying to be brave and her final request to Merlin is just so sad, "Remember me." She's so young and its the injustice and cruelty of Uther's kingdom that's condemning her, his own blindness to anything involving magic. We all want to be remembered don't we, especially when you die so young that you've barely had the chance to live. -----Also Guinevere will be remembered, she is a legend so there's something very bittersweet in this. She is not forgotten, then or ever
It's funny watching back to season 1, Merlin spends a lot of the time complaining about how Arthur will never recognise him for who he is. He wants recognition. But by the end of the show, yes of course he'd like recognition but he's learnt to just put up with never getting it. His priorities have changed so much.
There's this thing that happens a lot in season 1 and 2 (and I think a bit in season 3 but its less funny then) where Morgana persuades Arthur to do things by insulting him and its the funniest thing ever, and the first instance of it is here. I like to call these her 'epic sibling powers' cause they are just such siblings and its hilarious every time
"You are one side of the coin, Arthur is the other."- Kilgaharrah--> Just, yes.
Also when Arthur gets Merlin out of when Merlin confesses to being a sorcerer—> he's obviously making stuff up on the spot—> like he might sort of believe it (the stuff about Gwen) but fundamentally he's just trying to protect him without really knowing for sure why Merlin's lying
"One day people won't believe what an idiot you were."- Gaius--> Fun little nod to the audience who know Merlin of legend (as nothing like the BBC Merlin)
Also at this point we don't know why Uther really banned magic so there is an element of moral greyness to it all. We know magic's not evil, we know Uther went too far but at this point there is still a question about 'how too far' did he go?
Coronation by Rageprufrock (seriously read it. It's amazing): https://archiveofourown.org/works/5749
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