#i love it when sweet doormat characters Lose It <3< /div>
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carnivalcarriondiscarded Ā· 1 year ago
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okay but the realization that Howdy is actually a little bit of a scoundrel? a scammer even?? was like the BEST part of the update for me!!! his got a bit of spice to him i like that!
idk if itā€™s just me but it feels like itā€™s very important that Eddie was the only have like a extra audio thing on his character sheet in the neighborhood besides Wally and the You page?? like that feels significant somehow right??
i just really loved both Howdy and Eddie in these updates they were so great
GOD i know i know he's got some Kick to him! he's got Flavor! i love how he turned the common perception of his character on its side - everyone expected him to be wholesome and helpful and sweet, and then the update came in with the fuckin steel chair-
hmmmm i can see both sides of the beetle on Eddie's bio - the significance, and the possibility of it just being There because most pages had 1-2 bugs, and the audio was about Eddie. but ALSO its so so likely that is Was significant! i honestly thought so as well!
i mean, the beetle is very uhhh, Valentine looking? the prevalent heart shapes, the soft pink-yellow-white coloring, plus its an audio centered on Eddie and Frank. we already know FranklyDear is going to be an established Couple - so i'd agree that the significant is There! and if we lived in an alternate world where we didn't know about FranklyDear, we'd all be losing our collective shit over this and theorizing the hell outta it
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shanxy180 Ā· 5 years ago
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guess who made an entire cast of characters(?) that are related to each boss ghosts somehow.. Itā€™s mee
Though Iā€™m kind of thinking of changing some designs but thats for another day bc this took forever fsndjkfnskj
snkjfnsd Anyway, yea I made a couple good kids/teenagers that are all related to the lm3 bosses, information about each kiddo below..!
Sadie Ā - The cousin of Steward, younger by a couple years. Perhaps 17-19 years old. Ā - Acts like a mix of both ā€œresponsible adultā€ and ā€œnervous teenager that doesnā€™t know what theyā€™re doingā€. Ā - Sheā€™s responsible, likes to plan ahead and is hard working, but when faced with something new or unfamiliar she cracks and nervously tries to get through it. Ā - She originally wanted to go to nursing school, but couldnā€™t pursue it due to her death. Ā - Died via car accident, she was crossing the road when a vehicle suddenly lost control and ran her over.
Claude Ā - The son of Chambrea, somewhere around 14-15 years old. Ā - The quiet, kind hearted (former) mamaā€™s boy thatā€™s nervous but tries his best. Ā - Has picked up the habit of nibbling on things while lost in thought. Ā - Can act very nervous and shy around people, Ā - Heā€™s jolly and loves to giggle and chuckle, ends up in a 2 minute giggling fit if something really makes him laugh. And really likes to make other people laugh. Ā - Also likes to hug people he enjoys, or at least let people know that he cares about them, if heā€™s not being sheepish.
Korey Ā - The daughter/child of Kruller, 16 years old. Ā - Is a huge dork, obsessed with comic books and cartoons, sometimes for video games and movies. Ā - When not nervous about her interest and around people, she likes to ramble about her topics and get really deep into discussions about her interests. And often gets passionate when speaking. Ā - Has a fear of bats, loves the color purple, sheā€™s a bit of a sensitive person, snorts when they laugh, and likes to collect marbles and coins they find.
Alexandre SoulfflĆ© Ā - The son of Chef SoulfflĆ©, around 17 years old. Ā - Kind of an awkward and bitter guy, dripping with sarcasm and a bit of sass. Ā - Heā€™s a decent cook, knows a couple recipes and some of the things he makes can actually be super tasty. Ā - He also has a weak spot for animals, loves to draw, knows a lot of french vocabulary, has a slight accent and is just the smallest bit touch starved. Ā - Though heā€™s insecure about a couple things about himself, and prefers to keep some things a secret.
Thomas Wolfgeist Ā - The son of Amadeus Wolfgeist, somewhere around 16-17 years old. Ā - A grumpy, sarcastic guy, not really that sociable but at the same time lowkey wants friends, and is slightly emotionally distant. Ā - Has a temper, although not as bad as his fathers, he can still snap and yell at people who frustrate and/or annoy him for long periods. Ā - Likes attention and receiving compliments, not too big on criticism but will take that to improve if he must. Ā - Plays piano very well, knows a couple songs but canā€™t play overly complicated or fast ones. Ā - Has a mild fear of bugs, not so much when on the ground or distant from him but absolutely hates when one is crawling on him, also knows how to speak german, but he rarely does.
Queen/Princess Drew MacFrights Ā - The daughter of King Macfrights, 17 years old. Ā - Has a fiery and aggressive personality, loves to have battles and being active overall. Is decently strong and a good leader, but rarely ever thinks before doing or saying things and is impulsive. Ā - Sheā€™s also stubborn, doesnā€™t think much on what other people feel, and can be ignorant at times. But, she still cares for a lot for her friends and family, knows when to tone down her edge (sometimes), and can be a supportive and lovely friend. - Is really good with weapons and fighting in general, sheā€™s decently strong and knows how to defend herself.
Fiona Potter Ā - The granddaughter of Dr. Potter, around 15-16 years old Ā - Is a really sweet and caring girl, loves to make others happy and is overall very understanding and friendly, but also is a doormat and canā€™t tell when someoneā€™s her friend or is taking advantage of her. Ā - Loves plants as much as her grandfather, used to have a small venus flytrap/piranha plant like flower that she took care of but has sadly been overwatered by a house sitter at the time. Ā - Is a part time bookworm, and has a book on plant care on her and even though she has read it hundreds of times, itā€™s still a very good pass time.
Micheal Ā - The son of Morty, around 16-17 years old. Ā - Has a very passionate and caring personality, he loves to be dramatic and give scenarios a certain flair. Ā - Always has his notebook and sketchbook on him, along with a couple supplies, he loves to write notes and sometimes doodle about stuff he sees, experiences, etc. Ā - Basically very creatively driven and is very jolly, although naive. Ā - Is a very good actor, loves to watch movies and sometimes dreams of being able to record things heā€™s done and make some ā€œvlogsā€ of himself for fun.
Oogh - Daughter of Ug, 17 years old. Ā - Grumpy and judgemental of everything and everyone she sees, though if gained her trust, sheā€™ll only be grumpy. With the slightest hint of sass. Ā  - New thing? Must smash. New person? Must be danger, must smash. Always keeps her wood club with her for smashing. Ā - Barely knows english, but understands body language and facial expressions enough to know when people arenā€™t gonna harm her. Ā - Prefers to be left alone, being used to it for a long time. But has since grown a little bit sociable after meeting the others.
Cathy - Youngest niece of Clem, 15-16 years old. Ā - Very outgoing and very friendly, laid back and carefree but also wouldnā€™t hesitate to gently bully her friends or roughhouse for a bit. Ā - Had at least 3 other brothers and 1 sister, sheā€™s younger than all of them by a couple years. Ā - Has enough sense to know when somethingā€™s a bad idea but will still do it for a dare or simply for fun. Ā - Sometimes acts difficult on purpose and likes to annoy people for fun, but of course she knows when to stop and actually try to be helpful. Ā - ā€œCathyā€ is actually short for ā€œCatherineā€, but she thought that sounded too boring so she mostly goes by the nickname.
Atuumb Ā - The son of Serpci, around 17 years old. Ā - Acts like a serious, no funny business and dull kind of person, but is actually a pretty chill and calm guy, he loves to make friends, talk to people, heā€™s very curious and loves to figure out new things. Though if his buttons are pushed too far he can get upset. Ā - Even found his prince/king status pretty boring, and having to act like a stuffy, refined and pretty formal person, always busy and secretly getting stressed. Lowkey heā€™s super glad heā€™s out of that situation Ā - But still, he keeps that sense of responsibility, even in death he still feels the need to be responsible for something or to keep busy/distracted. Ā - Has a love/hate feeling for ā€œLife or Deathā€ scenarios, traps, etc. On one hand itā€™s super fun but on the other he doesnā€™t want anyone actually getting hurt or killed.
Ebony Fishook Ā - Daughter of Captain Fishook, around 16-17 years old. Ā - Acts mostly like a feral pirate, being raised by pirates/sharks in the middle of the sea, stealing, pillaging, and mostly eating raw fish and drinking milk. Ā - She loves to use her sharp mouth on things, such as biting things sheā€™s not supposed to eat (tables, chairs, etc.) Ā - Sheā€™s not much of a cook, or can clean all that well, being used to having others cook and do stuff for her. But, she can hunt for her own food, she has a great sense of direction, knows how to handle a blunderbuss and a sword. Ā - Sheā€™s rather excitable, and barely knows proper etiquette. But is very sociable, and just as long as you donā€™t upset or offend her, thereā€™s a good chance sheā€™ll want to be your friend.
Justin Deepend Ā - Nephew of Johnny Deepend, 16 years old Ā - Heā€™s a pretty friendly and energetic kid, always eager to help and loves to get himself moving. Though since he can be so carefree he sometimes comes off as aggressive or uncaring. Ā - Is a bit self centered, competitive, and often doesnā€™t know his own strength, he also isnā€™t that bright. But, again! His heart is in the right place, and heā€™s always willing to make people happy. Ā - Has tried a variety of different sports but his two main ones were soccer and volleyball. Soccer was when he was much younger (around 7 years old), and volleyball when he was starting out in middle school.
DJ Tony Ā - The son of Dj Phantasmagloria (or simply Gloria), around 16-17 years old. Ā - Although he can get sentimental, heā€™s a pretty joyful and overall chill guy. Heā€™s laid back, and takes things to stride. Heā€™s very caring and sympathetic, a total softy. Ā - A huge sucker for music, any kind will do, just as long as it has a groovy beat and itā€™s something he can bop to. Sometimes loses himself in the music and ends up dancing to the song, totally unaware of everything. Ā - Despite being only a teenager, and him constantly having headphones around him, heā€™s a pretty good listener, so heā€™s nice to vent too and he even sometimes gives decent advice.
Hector Gravely Ā - The eldest son of Hellen Gravely, 17 years old. Ā - Is a huge fashionista, and loves to try on different outfits.. When he can. Ā - Heā€™s a pretty quiet, albeit friendly character, when not in a bad mood, he can be clever and a pretty good friend. Ā - Is a bit of a spoiled bitch, heā€™s mostly used to being pampered and having other people do his things. Being complimented and having lots of money. All that.
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chainsawb0y Ā· 6 years ago
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hi sorry for not really doing much lately ive been kinda super out of it but when am i not anymoreĀ 
more venty stuff under the readmore tldr: shit sucks and im decorating my house and i hate myself the usual affairs if you read it all the way through i commend you for your dedication for wanting to know why im bummed out rn. this is basically like a long rambling thing that i kept adding shit to in random places
tw: dysphoria
i keep thinking about things and just feeling generally kinda bad about lots of shit and like it swings a lot from me feeling like happy and then just being totally fucking miserable at random all the time. i dont know what it is but its annoying the shit out of me. i feel like im ok like 10% of the time and then the other 60% is me feeling like shit and 30% trying to recover from feeling like shitĀ 
ive been decorating my house too and thats been shit tbh my housemate gets stressed out and then takes it out on me but i cant afford to go anywhere else and id rather be dead than live with my mother and i just dont want to live in the city where my dad is
i want to do more stuff creatively this year but every time i pick up the pen i just think of my long term ambitions and realise this website isnt exactly the best for it anymore, but theres nowhere else i feel comfortable posting it anymore. i keep doubting myself and my work and when i draw certain characters i get anxious im going to be accused of ripping other people off. i know it wont happen, but i just have horrible anxiety when it comes to these things. i want to work but i feel like nobody takes me seriously as an artist or a comedian. i know where a lot of my self doubt/anxiety comes from but its just upsetting because i have so much stuff in my head that i cant even bring myself to do because i just dont see the point of it. i know itā€™ll get no attention at all whatsoever apart from roughly 2 likes, 3 reblogs and then at least 5 self reblogs from me desperately trying to get someone to see something i spent so long on. i dont do art for myself, i do it for other people to see the cool stuff i made up to entertain people and i like to make people happy and i just get upset constantly feeling like nobody is seeing anything because this hellsite is going down the shitter and people are jumping off like old people from a sinking ship. slow and fucking painfully because of the fucking bots everywhere
im like, constantly bitching about gender and sexuality shit but like.......... i always feel like im never gonna have anyone really love me. . like. people like me. people know who i am. nobody knowsĀ me. nobody gets me. i know thats bullshit lone wolf talk but like im not even kidding tbh.Ā  im so massively fucking lonely it hurts it just fucking hurts so much i just fucking miss feeling like someone actually cares about me . i feel like i have no friends sometimes. like, i have online friends who i love with all my heart but i just dont feel like i have people in real life i can really talk to about deep personal shit. i dont feel close to people irl anymore and i cant understand why. i feel like this is cause of some bad shit thats happened in the past and its just made my brain turn off the ā€œtrust peopleā€ switch. my brains gone from ā€œeveryone is friendā€ to ā€œeveryone is person and people scare and upset me so i cant engage properly because i dont know what they will do. must keep some kind of distance, put on some kind of persona or something and be niceā€ i dont know what that persona is but im sure as fuck not able to look into it without being some kind of horrible mess. i dont know if im nice or not. i dont know who the fuck i am and it freaks me out because im sure i have some kind of horrible thing deep inside me that i have to cover up by being overly nice and sweet and an actual doormat .. most of the times the conversations i have with real people always have some kind of sex talk in them at one point and i dont have the heart to tell people it makes me uncomfy. i want to talk to people again and i want to go out more, but i just dont know how to get myself outside with people without feeling massively anxious or just feeling like nobody wants me around. like i feel like nobody ever really thinks about me in the least selfish sense. i know it sounds weird and narcissistic but i never get messages off people. i try to interact with people. i want to be friends with people but i just dont feel like i fit in anywhere and i really wish i did. i wish i felt like i could anyway. every time i go out i just feel like i dont belong anywhere with anyone and i thought i did for a little while but then i just couldnā€™t afford to go out anymore and it just went away immediately. i dont know why but sometimes i get really overloaded by people really quickly but when im outside i find it really easy. i just wish it was easier to talk to people about things. its like whenever i talk to anyone i immediately worry that im being weird or dumb talking about specific aniamtion things or stuff i can actually contribute to but everyone else is always talking about politics or sex so like.... i cant contribute ever cause most of the time its sex stuff or devolves into sex stuff and i just ?????? cant
also dysphorias back whee i hate having a chest it makes me so mad that i cant wear nice things because im constantly paranoid people will see my chest and assume im a girl. i hate people see my face and assume im a girl. i would rather see myself slowly rot away than take female hormones to solve my hormone issues because i dont want to lose what little i had that makes me look a little bit masculine and i know it sounds fucking idiotic but oh my god im so sick of looking and sounding like a girl!!!!!!!! i hate being called miss !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i hate that my mother wont even call me ash !!!!!!!!!! 2/3 of my family members refuse to think im not a girl and i want to die bc of it !!!!!!!!!!!
im just fuckin trying to deal with all this stupid fucking shit and i keep getting appointments for help cancelled and pushed back and i need help but i never get it !! : ))) the only help i managed to get just ended up talking about fucking specifically sex shit and it made me so uncomfortable i never went back !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even tho its literally the only place i can go for trans/ace specific help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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crookedspoonfic Ā· 7 years ago
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The Raven Cycle Fic Masterlist
I thought I might compile a masterlist of TRC fic before it becomes too long for me to bother with. More of a quick browsing overview. Tags and everything on AO3.
Fics are grouped into Series, Standalones and Snippets. Series are sorted by date of creation and the fics by internal chronology. Standalones are divided into main pairing, sorted alphabetically, and then listed chronologically. Numbering reflects when a fic was written, so itā€™s easier to find the latest ones.
Last updated:Ā 2017-10-22 (39 fics; 1 podfic; 1 new Series)
Series
nothing more than any artist dreams -Ā Artist AU.
4.Ā blue as a gunshot wound: Kavinsky/Prokopenko (M; 3,635 words; 01 February 2017) Proko knows heā€™s a doormat when it comes to Kavinsky. It doesnā€™t take a genius to figure that one out.
17.Ā Les liaisons dangereuses: Kavinsky/Prokopenko (M; 1,500 words; 27 May 2017) You shouldnā€™t be surprised when he drags you into the menā€™s room, although somehow you are.
19.Ā something burning on my chest: Kavinsky/Prokopenko (M; 3,785 words; 05 July 2017) In which Proko is hungover and having a full-on angstfest before K wakes up and defuses it by being a dick.
34. A work of art and a weapon, a delight and a defense: Kavinsky/Prokopenko (M; 2,135 words; 07 October 2017) Kavinsky is a lot more taken with what Proko wants to show him than Proko would have expected.
30. maybe this is danger and you just donā€™t: Proko/Swan (E; 2,815 words; 01 October 2017) The fact that Swan of all people wants you is really fucking flattering.
2. Hidden here below the fracture: Kavinsky/Ronan, Kavinsky/Prokopenko (M; 3,278 words; 28 December 2016) Irritation lurks at the other end of his high, not inspiration. Or, the one in which K tries to banish Lynch from his head. Through art. And fails. Just give me what I came for 5. Iā€™ve tasted hell and it tastes just like you: Kavinsky/Ronan (E; 2,565 words; 07 March 2017) Everyone knows that when you need someone to hurt you, Kavinsky is it. 7. Stay with me, Iā€™ll show you paradise: Kavinsky/Ronan (E; 3,010 words; 14 March 2017) Kavinsky would never admit it but he canā€™t say no to Ronan. No matter how late it is, heā€™s there. Though heā€™s usually not this destroyed. 9. my tongue still misbehaves: Kavinsky/Ronan (M; 500 words; 18 March 2017) ā€œAnswer me this: how much would it piss you off if I got into Ganseyā€™s pants before you did?ā€ 26. So maybe I wanted to give you something more (E; 3,104 words; 30 August 2017) "Here's the deal, sweetheart, since I'm in a generous mood: Whatever you want me to do to you, I'll do it. All you have to do is say it out loud."
12. No sins as long as thereā€™s permission: Kavinsky/Ronan (E; 4,555 words; 15 April 2017) WIP?Ā ā€œIf weā€™re gonna do this, I want you to leave Gansey out of it. Completely.ā€
Two maniacs, indulging in the pleasures of their worldĀ - Childhood Friends AU.
22. Dreams are made for fools and sages: Kavinsky/Ronan Ā (T; 500 words; 2017-07-13) The act of falling asleep: childhood vs. teenage years.
Be quiet and drive (far away)Ā - Roadtrip AU.
1. Somethingā€™s got me and I just canā€™t seem to choose: Ronan/Kavinsky (T; 1,250 words; 13 November 2016) ā€œYou know where you can keep an even better eye on me, Lynch?ā€ he asks. Ronan ignores the tickle of warm breath against the shell of his ear and empties his shot glass. ā€œOn the dancefloor. Come on, dance with me.ā€ Or, the one in which Ronan doesnā€™t dance with K. Because obviously.
24. Donā€™t let me go; take me to the edge: Kavinsky/Ronan (M; 500 words; 24 July 2017) The hour-long drives and restless nights turn your days into a haze of dream-like images, impressions, impulses, stuttering like a flicker book ā€“ the open road before you, the car thrumming beneath you, Kavinsky twisting out of the window beside you and whooping with the thrill of it, white tanktop fluttering around his stomach.
I never liked that ending eitherĀ - Rehab AU.
25. I wear these scars, I own my mistakes: Kavinsky & Ronan/Adam (T; 2,500 words; 28 August 2017) A year after the fateful Fourth of July party, Kavinsky suddenly comes out of the woodwork to apologize for what he's done.
27. And I still believe that I cannot be saved: Prokopenko & Kavinsky (T; 500 words; 02 September 2017) Prokopenko pays Kavinsky a visit in the hospital after the Fourth.
Grant me the freedom from objects - trans!Kavinsky/Ronan.
28. not really soothing but soothing nonetheless (E; 2,525 words; 08 September 2017) Working through some issues.
31. When you have nothing to say, set something on fire (M; 2,342 words; 02 October 2017) More musings on sleep and rehab than anyone asked for, and a hand job in the rain.
Married Alive - Kavinsky/Piper
33. Youā€™re never too good for me (M; 1,611 words; 05 October 2017) When Greenmantle ordered the Greywaren to be delivered to him, he didn't expect to lose his wife (partner? lover?) over it.
Standalones
Adam/Kavinsky/Ronan
10. a new kind of love your life has never allowed + polytangle (M; 2,835 words; 31 March 2017) Youtube AU, sorta. Or: Adam is trying to edit a video, Kavinsky has other plans, and Gansey interrupts them both by video-calling long-distance. Gansey/Noah
29. ille me osculat (the scenic byway remix) + OT5 (G; 2,272 words; 11 September 2017) "gansey stands apart from the connection the other four share, because he doesn't know how to ask the others for that and the others don't think he wants like they do."noah is the one who sees."ā€”weesaw, (i want you to know that i want to)
Gansey/Kavinsky
35. You know you like it but youā€™re scared of the shame (E; 2,560 words; 08 October 2017) Ronan said there was no negotiating with Kavinsky, but you had to see for yourself if that was true before deciding anything rash.
Gansey/Ronan 6. your heart frayed and empty (M; 2,705 words; 12 March 2017) Gansey wants to help Ronan, but has been drawing blanks as to how. Ronan has an idea, but never dared give it voice or thought. Until now. 8. stealing like the tide across a map (M; 2,150 words; 16 March 2017) The collar is heavy in your hands, heavy with the weight of whatā€™s being asked. Youā€™re aware that this could very well cost you your friendship, no matter what decision you make. Kavinsky/Ronan 11. Itā€™s lovely. I hate it.: Kavinsky/Ronan (G; 200 words; 03 April 2017) Of weakness, disbelief, and growing families. 13. He wonders what to say and whether to say it (T; 500 words; 07 May 2017) For the first time in over a year and a half, you consider going to confession, to cleanse your soul of the sins youā€™ve committed this past week. 14. Iā€™m variously sweat or shudder + Kavinsky/Prokopenko (M; 500 words; 10 May 2017) Youā€™re about ready to dissolve when his phone rings. Kavinsky, of course, has to answer. 15. No warning from either of us (M; 2,205 words; 13 May 2017) Business AU. Niall Lynch has expanded his business of procuring rare items. In his absence, Ronan takes over the helm, although he has no real interest in it. That is, unless it means one-upping Kavinsky. 18. I just made you up to hurt myself (E!; 2,745 words; 30 June 2017) cw: non-con/rape, violence You parted as enemies on opposing lines, finger-gun to forehead, rage and rejection and a promise to end the other. Unless heā€™s begged you on his knees to take him back, thereā€™s not one scenario in which youā€™d wind up back in your basement together with the real Lynch. Conclusion: You must have dreamed this one.
23. Everything that used to matter, donā€™t matter no more: Kavinsky+Prokopenko (T; 500 words; 17 July 2017) ā€œIā€™m dying, man. What is that?ā€ He scrubs his fingers over his breastbone, just below his gold chain. ā€œI tried everything. I canā€™t make it go away.ā€Ā 
36. I could almost swear I felt us float (M; 1,310 words; 09 October 2017) "Truth, then: you ever kill someone?"
Kavinsky/Prokopenko 3. Reality bites hard (T; 2,050 words; 08 January 2017) WIP?Ā Congratulations on coming out,ā€œ Gansey says. "No fucking way. Kavinskyā€™s not gay.ā€ A joke, thatā€™s all this is, but not everyone seems to get it and suddenly has opinions about your life and who you are as a person. Trouble is, you soon find youā€™re not so sure yourself anymore. 20. You taste so bitter and so sweet (T; 500 words; 06 July 2017) ā€œI donā€™t want you to go.ā€ To him hangs in the air.
21. with a cloud at your feet (T; 500 words; 08 July 2017) Kavinsky has a lot of strange moods, depending on what heā€™s tripping on, yet arguably there are none stranger than when itā€™s just the five of you and heā€™s trying out new pills.
37. Cheap thrills and a breakfast full of white lines (M; 3,000 words; 10 October 2017) "Do you remember the first time we did this?" he asks, because memory fascinates him, knowing for a fact that most of it is fabricated because he is. How could you forget? It was the day that made you who you are today. And him, too.
Noah/Whelk 16. And itā€™s a long way back from seventeenĀ (T; 1,210 words; 25 May 2017) It wasnā€™t only your skull that cracked that day.Ā 
38. You kissed me like a storm at sea (T; 1,424 words; 12 October 2017) It started out with you losing a wager and having to pose as Barry's maid for a day.
39. Donā€™t leave me behind (T; 500 words; 15 October 2017) Even after you lost everything, he picked you up as if it were a normal Tuesday.
Ronan/Greenmantle
32. A bullet in your head is how I want it (E; 2,135 words; 04 October 2017) cw: graphic violence, blood, gore, imagined character death, guro Ronan has a recurring fantasy: he dreams of killing someone. But not just anyone, no. He dreams of killing his father's murderer.
Podfic
1. gonna rip it off (go back home) by ilgaksu: Kavinsky/Ronan, Ronan/Adam (T; 6:04 min; 13 September 2017) Joseph Kavinsky can't read Latin. He can't read Latin and Ronan can't read his own body and they've both got enough blood on their hands they could mark each other up and you'd never see the red. That's beautiful, that is.
Bonus: Snippets, Excerpts, and WIPs
i.Ā  You tell yourself you havenā€™t always been this pathetic:Ā Kavinsky (T; ~1.8k words; 29 August 2017)
ii. Childhood friends AU, scene 1:Ā Kavinsky/Ronan, Declan (T; 2,255 words; 01 September 2017)
Previous updates:
2017-06-22 (17 fics)Ā  2017-07-01 (18 fics, re-did the numbering to reflect when a fic was written, hoping to make it easier to find the latest ones) 2017-07-08 (20 fics, added explanation on fic sorting) 2017-07-13 (22 fics, created a new untitled series) 2017-07-24 (24 fics; named the previously unnamed series, created a new one and sorted my first TRC fic under it) 2017-09-03 (27 fics; added another Series and a Snippets category for tumblr-exclusive previews) 2017-09-15 (28 fics; 1 podfic; added the section Podfic) 2017-10-08 (32 fics; 1 podfic; 1 new Series)
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almaasi Ā· 8 years ago
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reaction post typed while watching SPN 12x21Ā ā€œThereā€™s Something About Maryā€
in which i lose my shit for a full hour, reach peak despair, trigger temporary depression,Ā and then proceed to watch in lowkey sarcasm mode with emotions switched off!!!! what fun
08:46pm
...........buckleming episode
instead of watching this, did i put it off for three hours? did i pet our new dog at lengthĀ (a rescue staffordshire bull terrier cross, who we have named seven!!! after seven of nine from star trek:Ā voyager. yes, like the number 7.), watch half an episode of columbo with my family, have a shower, and then watch 35 minutes of dan and phil playing that horse prince game ?
quite possibly
(read: yes)
sidenote: i just googled ā€œstaffordshire bull terrierā€ and found a picture. seven looks almost exactly like this, including the lil white socks ~ SHEā€™S SO SWEET and she passed her Good Dog Test so she gets to stay with us now!~ (my sister found her abandoned on our road, vet said sheā€™d been kept with pigs, her leg was broken and didnā€™t heal right. and sheā€™s an adult but hadnā€™t been registered to anyone. FINDERS KEEPERS)
new doggo > a brad buckner + eugenie ross-leming episode EVERY TIME
post-episode addition:Ā oh look how much life i had in me before this
-
08:58pm
why does wikipedia say the next two episodes are both airing on may 18th
i guess itā€™s a double-bill finale
-
08:59
URGH okay fiiiiine iļæ½ļæ½ļæ½mma watch this now
the preview made the script seem okay but iā€™m guessing that the better writer wrote that bit
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also! @cassammydean and i were talking about the last episode, and we realised that iā€™d misinterpreted that final scene.
it looked (to me) like, while mary was tied up, herĀ phone rang, and ketch went over to it. then the camera panned up and ketch had turned into toni. and i legit thought ketch and toni were the SAME PERSON (shapeshifter maybe) and i got to expressing how cool that was, and how that brought back the ~gay subtext~ from 11x23 with the rainbow light on toniā€™s face, because if ketch=toni, and ketch bangs mary, then thatā€™s kinda non-heterosexual since gender isnā€™t a defined thing for ketch=toni
EXCEPT
i realised iā€™d seen it all wrong. ketch starts to move over to maryā€™s phone, but then camera pans up, and toni comes in from the oTHER SIDE and answers it. sheā€™s wearing the same grey suit as ketch was. I WAS TRICKED BY THE COSTUME CHOICES. they were both in the room, ketch in front of mary, toni behind her, wearing the same suit.
and iā€™m still kinda bummed because if ketch=toni that wouldā€™ve been really cool imo
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09:09
oh no eileen is in this episode
I DONā€™T WANT HER TO DIE
WHO LET THE DEADLY DUO WRITE THIS
PLEASE DONā€™T DIE HORRIBLY EILEEN I LOVE YOU YOUā€™RE SO IMPORTANT
SHE AND SAM NEED TO BE TOGETHER
IF SHE DIES IN THIS EPISODE I WILL TEAR THROUGH MY LAPTOP SCREEN, SWIM ACROSS THE OCEAN INSIDE A CABLE, POP UP THROUGH THE DEADLY DUOā€™S COMPUTER SCREENS AND PULL OUT ALL THEIR HAIRS ONE BY ONE
INCLUDING THEIR EYELASHES
post-episode edit: is there a wikihow article for this iā€™d like to give it a go
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09:13
NO NO NO NO NO
PLEASE GOD NO
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please let her still be alive dear god no
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iā€™m fucking shaking i canā€™t watch this
;A;
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09:15
NO BAD PUPPY
MY DOG IS BETTER THAN YOUR DOG, KETCH
fuck you, up the nose with a cactus
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09:16
are you ever just nauseous because the deadly duo not only exist in this world, but write for a show that deserves so much better
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09:18
IT FUCKING HURTS MY FEELINGS THAT DEAN CHECKS BEHIND THE SHOWER CURTAIN FOR A BLOODY CORPSE OF THE PEOPLE HE LOVES
FROM ANY OTHER WRITER Iā€™D BE LIKEĀ ā€œOH HEā€™S SCARRED BY HIS MEMORIES THIS IS AN INTERESTING AND HEARTBREAKING CHARACTER THINGā€
BUT FROM THESE TWO Iā€™M LIKEĀ ā€œOH THANKS FOR RUBBING IT IN OUR FACES YOU MISOGYNISTIC ASSPRICKSā€
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///BREATHES INTENSELY
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09:21
look
have i ever made it clear that these writers make me very angry
BECAUSE THEY MAKE ME SO FUCKING ANGRY
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09:23
sam gets worried when he hears from jody
my heart just dropped
fuck
if any other favourite charatcters are dead
i swear to god iā€™mĀ 
i donā€™t even know iā€™mĀ 
please
no
i think i need to ragequit before this fucks me up because i can feel it coming
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09:25
eileen
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welp thatā€™s it iā€™mma cry
if there isĀ a fucking petition to get these writers fired and/or assassinated i want to know about it
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...iā€™m not crying
iā€™mĀ 
a n g r y
//sits and stares at my screen
i hate them.
Ā i hateĀ them.
why
what the fuck do they think theyā€™re doing
ugh iā€™m exhausted already
iā€™m so tired of these writers, and specifically these ones. the rest of the season is fine. itā€™s the fact these fuckheads have 5 episodes a season and they clearly take extreme pleasure in sucking the joy out of a show that fuels a community of people. they kill the characters we love IN THE MOST DISTRESSING WAY POSSIBLEĀ with no sensitivity whatsoever
it fucking disgusts me, okay
theyā€™re not just bad writers, theyā€™re clearly horrible people
thereā€™s no kindness or redemption on their stories, theyā€™re literally just trying to torture us (NOT A COMPLIMENT), and iā€™m sure they feel gleeful when they see people crying (if they even look up fan responses, which i doubt, given the years of complaints and constructive criticism theyā€™ve clearly ignored)
listen, iā€™m no stranger to feeling good when my work affects someone, all right. neither am i a stranger to killing beloved characters for emotional effect, but sweet jesus theREā€™S ALWAYS A BETTER WAY TO DO IT THAN A COLD OPEN WHERE A BELOVED CHARACTER WHO REPRESENTS SO MUCH TO SO MANY PEOPLE HAS NO LINES AND IMMEDIATELY GETS TORN TO FUCKING SHREDS
the list of things theyā€™ve ruined on this show is so long i need that gif of crowley unrolling his scroll across the floor
idk what to do now. do i want to watch this? no. fuck no.
am i gonna watch anyway just to get it out of the way so i can never watch this shit again? yeah fine why the fuck not my evening isĀ already ruined
(ha, and my mother always asks why i donā€™t rewatch the show with the family. because of these writers.)
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09:43
this has taken me an hour and iā€™m 4 minutes in
what a waste of my life
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09:44
i dont have words
how dare they do this to sam
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09:45
i feel sick
iā€™m so tired
..........i kinda wanna die
man i really wish i had a friend here who i could hug and talk shit about these writers with
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09:47
sam:Ā ā€œi wannA PUNCH SOMETHING IN THE FACEā€
you and me both dude
can we writeĀ ā€œbucklemingā€ on a dartboart and blow a round of bullets through it
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09:53
jesus christ this is a clusterfuck of triggers
i wanna go home
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09:54pm
wellĀ iā€™m 9 minutes in, this is so hard to watch and iā€™m goddamn tired
i wanna stop honestly
the only good thing i can say about this is that the director (p. j. pesce)Ā is good, the shots are visually interesting, and the pacing of the editing is not something iā€™ve noticed on this show before
i dunno whether just to take a break or what
i donā€™t want to come back and have to watch this next week
i wish this didnā€™t exist
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the problem is iā€™m invested in the overall story. over the years i keep compelling myself to quit this show because of these writers, but ultimately i keep coming back because i love the characters so much
i canā€™t just stop
but every time i pause this video file, my brain blanks out and the world is peaceful again
i wonder if itā€™s possible for just this episode to trigger depression? because iā€™m so empty right now
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10:00pm
yup iā€™mma take a break and come back to this in a bit
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10:04
just thinking, while looking over the list of spn episodes and their writers
if i wasnā€™t part of the spn fandom, and didnā€™t check which writer wrote what,Ā iā€™d dislike this show just because of these writers, and i wouldnā€™t even realise it was the same writers over and over.
the kind of shit they write is exactly what puts me off a show. shows likeĀ ā€˜castleā€™ orĀ ā€˜the x filesā€™ orĀ ā€˜psychā€™ are good overall, but occasionally theyā€™ll have a problematic thing that i can ignore for one episode, recognising that itā€™s a one-off writer, and iā€™ll stick with the show. but spn has those kind of issues four or five times a season, when these two are writing - and not in a small way, either. if i was a casual watcher, iā€™d have ragequit already, thinking it was just how the show is.
and iā€™d probably vote this show 3/10 and never watch it again
just because of these two writers
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10:19pm
iā€™m back
i shall eat some things with sugar in them
and tell myself Itā€™s Okay!! Theyā€™re Just Fictional Characters!!
YEAH!!!
..........NOPE
theyā€™re fictional charatcters and they mean a lot to me and other people and the writers are basically killing our friends so
YEAH LETā€™S DO THISĀ 
c: C: C:
/sarcastic smile
me: haha fuck you
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10:24
do we praise them for canonising johnā€™s abuse
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10:25
ā€œrepealed and replacedā€
well thatā€™s another way to set my blood boiling
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10:27
current emotion: middle finger up
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10:29
oh look a black guy
letā€™s see... bad guy, dead guy or doormat?
my moneyā€™s on all three
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10:33
that line wouldā€™ve been cooler if crowley saidĀ ā€œdagon dead and goneļæ½ļæ½
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10:34
ā€œthe winchestersā€™ love slave, castielā€
*steeples fingers and peers over the rims of my glasses*
hm
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10:38
i see dean and i just wanna go up to him and rest my forehead on his chest
and just beĀ for a while
weā€™ve all been through too much
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10:39
donā€™t worry sam iā€™mma write a fic someday where you and eileen live happily ever after
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10:41
Tumblr media
the sam x telescope porn vid is alive and well
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10:43
black demon: bad guy + doormat
somehow not dead yet!!!
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10:44
how and why do crowley and lucifer have dna
also.... is hell a physical place ?
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10:49
YEAH MARY !!! SHOOT HIM !!!
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...or...not
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10:52
oh look another black guy with a gun
bad guy, dead guy, or doormat?
...bad guy, managed to escape death
!!!! oh boy how exciting !!!
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10:53
dean to toni, who just kneed him in the nuts:Ā ā€œyou keep that up, weā€™re gonna have to start datingā€
uhhhhhhhh
masochist!dean or unnecessary heterosexual reminder ?
letā€™s go with the former
(he reacts the same way to dudes. like that time a dude vampire saidĀ ā€œon your kneesā€ and deanā€™s flirt-o-meter went to 11)
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10:58
for real, this crowley + lucifer monologue in the dungeon storyline is the single most uninteresting storyline this season
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11:03
jody and claire aren;t dead
nope
NOPE.
*raises seventeen more middle fingers*
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11:08
look if everyoneā€™s dead i just hope the world ends in the season finale and the next season is set in heaven where all the characters are happy to team up and fight demons and angels and monsters in purgatory
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11:11
crowleyā€™s actually gonna die this time isnā€™t he
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11:13
everything is so anticlimactic
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11:17
THE LIL BOUNCY RAT WHO IS OBVIOUSLY CROWLEY IN SECRET
my favourite thing so far
and chances are that wasnā€™t bucklemingā€™s idea since that plotline extends past this one episode. same for the black demon who isnā€™t dead yet
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11:19pm
itā€™s over
iā€™m sure you all noticed how absurd those plot devices were. magical reversible-polarity puppet lucifer. mind control mary. dean and sam who donā€™t actually do anything except drive around looking sad and walking into traps. magical oxygen-sucking bunker which apparently they canā€™t shut off from the inside??? like if the bunkerā€™s gonna have an air-sucking feature why the fuck does it take 3 days? i assume it would exist as an emergency suicide thing but SURELY THAT WOULD WORK QUICKER
ONE BIG OLD THUMBS DOWN MEH FUCK THIS
okay bye i donā€™t care 1/10
i hope yā€™all have a better day than me. iā€™m gonna eat something, drink some tea, eat some chocolate, and watch jenna marbles do something weird with fake eyelashes or safiya nygaard wearing clear jeans in public
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12:02am
(also, just in case-- you donā€™t need to worry about me. honestly iā€™m better now itā€™s over, this was just hell to get through. there is a smile on my face and iā€™m looking forward to not doing anything taxing for the rest of the night.)
eta: why is there a rat in hell? is it a demon rat? a bad rat who sold his soul?
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