#but its better to try and get partway there

[quibbs126]

And this here is today’s attempts at drawing Transformers, specifically TF One

I had this idea when I started today, since I knew the faces and noses were giving me trouble yesterday, to try this paintbrush style. The logic in my brain was that the movie was made in 3D, so logistically a more lineless style should work better, right?

I do admit, I think that the lineless style works far better in terms of the eyes and noses being the right shape, but I also admit my lines are probably a bit too soft and I may need to darken them. As well as get something good for the actual thin lines, since the paint brush on its own feels too thick, even at the lowest size

And you know what, since we’re here, does anyone have any Procreate brushes they can suggest for this sort of style? Right now I’m just using Flat Brush, but I wonder if I should use something else

Anyways, so this canvas was supposed to be more D-16, but partway through I figured I should try someone else to draw as well, so I decided Orion, so we could have the yaoi

Honestly my big problem with Pax here is that I don’t have a good comprehensive reference for him, while I can get by just fine with D-16. These were about the best I could get, and that last one I only got because these other two weren’t cutting it

I need high quality references of these characters, or at least specifically their faces. And I’m gonna need even more if I plan to draw Megatron and Optimus as well

But yeah, Orion’s here, and I was also having trouble getting the correct colors for him, because I’m stupid and used to flat colors. D was pretty easy considering he’s just greys, and a yellow tinted grey works just fine there as a grey (though I do admit I’m struggling with his eye color), but I feel like blue tinted Orion looks too blue by comparison. But I don’t know how to give him his proper face coloring without it being the same shade as D-16

I feel like my words aren’t making sense. But just get that Orion colors are a struggle. And still are, because I still don’t think that other grey is the right color

Also Orion has a significantly more complicated helmet than D, so that’s fun

I really wasn’t planning on Orion taking up so much of the space, but I needed to actually practice how he looked so that I could draw him easier. I had numerous attempts at D-16 prior, I could sort of understand his look, but I was flailing in the dark on Orion and needed the practice

I think another problem is that I don’t make him wide enough. But sue me, my character designs usually don’t have their bodies that wide/their heads that small. I’m working on it

I capped off this canvas by just deciding to make a small doodle of Orion kissing D, since why not and also I was too lazy to think of anything else to add

Where do we go from here? I have no clue, but hopefully it’ll go good

[serenova]

I strive to be one of those people

And from the outside I may look like that

But I've triple guessed mostly all the big decisions in my life.

Went to 3 different Uni's to get my degree. And I'm okay with that NOW, but those 7.5 years were hell, and the only reason I can be blasé about it in 2023 is because I graduated a decade ago.

I quit a job I absolutely ADORED last year due to my mental health. It's taken me a year to pull myself back together. But everyone who's talked to me that knew me before thinks I've made some huge life change and asked me my secret. There is no secret. I quit a toxic, emotionally abusive job

Now I've started my own business (still not profitable and still small, but it's mine (I dye yarn btw)), I've got a day job that is more stable, has better hours, and better wages than the job I quit.

But I wasn't able to do this alone.

People who seem to know how to live often have a support network they can fall back on. And I don't necessarily mean financially. But people who's shoulder they can cry on. Who will come and get them at 3am no questions asked. Etc.

Both my mom and my husband were INTEGRAL for me to get to the place where I am.

I've got friends I can vent to, who I let vent to me in return. BUT those SAME friends and I also just.... Swap memes and giggle at silly fandom shit.

I think.... It comes down to balance.

And FINDING that balance is DAMN hard. And it's WORK to stay there. I'm 36 and I'm still learning.

....idk where I'm actually going with this. I just saw this post and I've had people mention it to me in the past that I look like one of those people.

But take those silly pics of your cat. Go for than extra 5 min walk. Even if it's just to hit the pokestop just down the road to get some pokeballs. Buy yourself that little treat. Stop and watch autumn leaves fall. Or interesting clouds. Hold the cat up so they can see the birds in the bush. Try that art thing you've always wanted to. Read that book.

Yes, society can fucking suck. And yes, there's a lot of pain and suffering in the world. But you need to also carve out space in your heart for YOURSELF. You can't pour from an empty cup. And if you bleed yourself dry for the world, you'll have none left for yourself.

I'm not sure this is actual, real, life advice.

I'm a mildly jaded older millennial with 3 cats and ADHD. Oh and a husband.

I am envious of people who knows how to live. Doesn't matter if they are rich or poor, they have traveled the world or stayed in their hometown their entire life, are famous or unknown...they just know how to live. They are content and unapologetic. The ones who are convinced with their decisions and does not require validation. The ones who have glow of genuine happiness and joy on their faces. I chase this feeling of contentment, to be happy right where I am in life. The feeling that eludes so many of us. I just wish I knew how to live.

[toytulini]

wish the little listicles and articles reccomending google alternatives didnt like, mention ios. like no offense but do you think i dont know what an iphone is. you think im looking into google alternatives but i dont know that apple exists? you really think that? if i was going to buy a fucking apple product id already be doing that?

[midnight-els]

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the West Wing would have been even better if they'd had a White House cat. Some headcanons bc I was thinking about it today:

Jed gave the cat a very grand, biblical name. Everyone else has shortened it to something very stupid.

Obviously all of the press and the public adore the cat. There's a minor upset in a polling themed episode when Joey confirms that once again the cat has higher approval ratings than the president. Josh is cross that they are polling on this at all.

There is one chair in the Oval Office that is The Cat's Chair. The staff know not to sit there as you'll get a. covered in fur and b. screamed at by an irate cat trying to force you off. They never warn any of their least favourite congresspeople about this.

The cat wanders around in the background of episodes, often being chased or petted by the extras.

The cat is not allowed in the situation room. The cat is always in the situation room. They had to come up with a special bug detecting protocol for the cat in case anyone tried to take advantage of this.

Ripped from the headlines plot about a congressional investigation into something related to the cat, based on the incident about Clinton's cat's postage.

The cat LOVES Air Force One. The Secret Service do not love having to get him on board or captured to get back off.

Leo and the cat are best friends. They're basically this meme. Leo's the grandma. Jed is the mom.

Aside from Leo, the cat loves the secretaries best. They always have lots of treats for him in their desks. Debbie is the only one he doesn't get on with; she has resorted to using a plant mister to spray him when he tries to get on her desk.

Josh thinks he and the cat are archenemies. The cat hasn't paid more than 2 seconds notice to Josh in his life.

CJ and the cat are archenemies. CJ was very pro-cat until she caught it fishing in Gail's bowl one day. Now she's at war to keep it out of her office. She's still trying to convince Danny to write a piece exposing the cat's dark side to its adoring public. Carol is very tired.

Sam wants so badly to be best friends with the cat. The cat thinks he's trying too hard. Will ends up exactly the same way.

Toby and the cat have never properly interacted and both are very happy to leave it that way.

The cat is supposed to stay in the residence during big events. Abbey stopped enforcing that after he got out and scratched Lord John Marbury when he picked him up against his will.

The cat has a secret service code name. One time, the code names are changed and an overenthusiatic reporter tries to break a story on the first lady's 'unusual activity' by following what he thinks is her code name. It's the cat's. CJ dines out on this for weeks.

The cat occasionally goes missing. The secretaries and Charlie have a recurring B-plot where they have to go and recover him. Somehow, the cat has always ended up somewhere relevant to the A-plot.

The cat properly goes missing after the incidents with the Thanksgiving turkeys and the goat in CJ's office (aka prime cat territory). Each time she claims she'll be nicer to the cat when it returns. Each time it lasts about two days.

Margaret thinks the cat has psychic powers and frequently provides warnings based on her interpretations of 'the signs'. Usually she's right.

The cat somehow makes off with the final edits for the state of the union one time (of course they were only handwritten on one piece of paper). Chaos ensues.

Jed tries to send the cat to Manchester partway through the series. After large-scale outcry from the staff, press and public he is returned to the White House. Unfortunately, after a couple of months as a barn cat he is even more badly behaved than before.

The cat is in both Jed and Abbey's official portraits.

[fireflysummers]

Good Omens S2

Okay so.

Excellent Job, Gaiman

Ouch???

I don't like to publicly talk about my personal life. My academic life is my professional life is my artist life. But my personal life? Not so much, outside of vignettes.

But for the past several months, I've been deconstructing a lot of personal baggage and trauma surrounding both family and religion, after leaving the cult I was raised in (mormonism).

It's terrifying to realize that the framework you built your entire self on is false. It's exhausting and painful to deconstruct that framework, to disentangle your identity in the way that won't destroy you.

And it's slow.

Nobody ever tells you how slow it is to heal. You can't control the rate you heal either. You just have to be patient with yourself, and give yourself an environment where that healing can occur safely and naturally.

Anyways.

Good Omens, and its weird tendency to be exactly what I need when I need it.

I first read Good Omens in high school. And honestly, I didn't quite get it, at the time. I only knew it was different from every other book I've ever read, one that didn't treat religion as stupid or trivial, but also one that called out the blatant hypocrisy and control tactics involved. It helped me safely challenge a status quo I hadn't even realized existed.

I first watched Good Omens partway into my Master's Degree. It was everything that I could've hoped for. I understood the book a lot better, but the TV adaptation captured my struggles with mental dissonance, trying to understand and accept the parts of my identity that I was taught God didn't want.

I watch S2 a year into my doctoral program. I'm out of the cult, and it's exhilarating and painful and scary and fun, but I can still feel the scars its hooks left when they were torn out.

I feel like S2 Aziraphale is in about the same place. He's exploring his freedom, but also trying to reorient himself. He's trying to let himself be. He's healing, but his boundaries got overridden due to circumstances out of his control (naked Gabriel). He's been pulled back into the gravity of the abusive system he tried to escape, given a carrot on a stick, and isn't yet healed or strong enough to resist.

On top of that, Aziraphale is still holding onto the hope that the problem was bad individuals, not a corrupted system. He thinks if the leadership is different, things can change. He thinks if he had more authority in the system, he could make things change. And... that's not how it works.

And Crowley. Dear Crowley.

He wants Aziraphale to be farther along in his healing than he is. Honestly, Aziraphale wants it too. But again, you cannot force this kind of healing, even when it results in a loved one making some truly stupid decisions.

Crowley sees the system for what it is. He's already deconstructed that part. But he hasn't really started addressing his own trauma. He's hinged his entire existence on Aziraphale, on being what Aziraphale needs, that he hasn't allowed himself to heal either. And Aziraphale, who is vulnerable and healing, is not able to provide the support that Crowley would need to recover safely.

Which is why them separating is probably the best thing for both of them.

It won't be permanent.

But they don't communicate, and their relationship while delightful and beautiful risks unhealthy codependency that prevents either from really growing or healing.

Anyways, what I really hope to see next season is Aziraphale's realization that the system never had his back. That the system is what's wrong, and that he can't win by playing at respectability politics or gaining a higher status within it.

I want Aziraphale to get angry.

He deserves it. He's tried so hard. He thinks he's lost Crowley over it.

I want him to feel the gut-wrenching despair of realizing how conditional and fleeting the system's version of love is, and I want it to turn into a rage.

But not a destructive rage--the sort of anger that Pratchett ascribes to himself and many of his works. The sort of anger that fueled Discworld and Good Omens. The sort that can be finessed into a weapon and a shield, that can be used to protect the people who truly love you.

For millennia we see Crowley fighting for Aziraphale.

For Season 3, I want to see Aziraphale fighting for his demon.

For him to apologize, without the expectation that Crowley will come back, but because he was wrong and Crowley needs to know it. To not expect forgiveness, not even think he deserves it.

And then for Crowley--who is trying to hide his heart eyes at seeing his avenging angel coming to save him for once, who he can tell immediately has changed, and is finally going Crowley's speed)--for Crowley to give that forgiveness, without strings attached.

[inkdemonapologist]

Way back before we got the BatDR trailer I had this wild theory -- basically, that the reason they couldn't show any concept art/trailers/etc was that BatDR was gonna pull a wizard of oz and suddenly be in colour partway through. So then that's why we were getting teasers like "look, its a model of A SHELF," because all the actual interesting stuff would've obviously been in colour and spoiled the surprise.

Part of the reason I thought this would work really well was that I assumed Nathan's acquisition of the Bendy IP and "revival" of the franchise in-world would be thematically relevant, rather than just... an excuse to have a second game. Like, Bendy is in new hands now, the cartoons are essentially being rebooted, and there's a LOT of thematic potential in that concept of Old vs New or the good and bad aspects of Change, and the idea that reviving Bendy in the real world would impact the ink realm was a fascinating concept to me. Now that we know the main thrust of the story........... actually I still think this could've worked with it? The sepia-toned Memory of Joey's Regret and the evil of the Ink Demon lingers over the studio and corrupts this new colourful world, while Wilson, the Man Who Killed The Ink Demon, is the one trying to forcibly extinguish these old stains and make the machine useful again.

Geez, you could tie Wilson's motivation in pretty directly actually if you dropped the ENTIRE thing where he says he's trying to BETTER THE WORLD THRU THE POWER OF THE MACHINE or whatever and instead just make him an actual janitor whose dad just gave him this bottom-tier job at his company. Give Nathan one audiolog about how his son is neglectful at work and its hard to find a job he can actually do or some such, and then you have Wilson as someone desperate to prove he deserves more. He sees his father's idolisation of Joey is naive, is able to realise the memory of Joey may be literally corrupting the business through the machine, and wants to eradicate that -- including Audrey, the most subtle infiltration of Joey Drew's influence. He's essentially the force of the New applied with no respect for the Old -- and then you could still give Wilson ties to that psychedelic neon ink from the Shipahoy battle; in fact, you could probably lean into it more: colour taken to the extreme, colour taken too far, something just as destructive as Joey's monochrome obsession.

(I've always loved the idea that Wilson isn't actually an artist and just stole the Shipahoy design while janitoring, which works great with the Shipahoy Monstrosity at the end being part crab because he couldn't actually create an isolated model to feed the machine... in this current era of The Threat Of AI Generation, the idea of wilson introducing a lot of mechanical innovation and incompetently dumping artwork into the machine to make new, too-colourful horrors in the interest of impressing his father while destroying all the old things these cartoons were first built on feels apropos lmao. obviously AI wasn't a huge talking point while BatDR was in production, but "ppl who assume more technology automatically makes art better while inadvertently destroying its heart" is extremely not new)

So the ink realm could be partially in colour (a world changed by the new cartoons), partially sepia (the infected memories of the old studio), and partially glowy neon (wilson's overzealous renovation). It'd be neat if Audrey became a bit of both -- partially colour, partially sepia -- and represented the new cartoons' ties to the old. Learning about the horrors that befell her father's old studio and the Gent technology that Wilson is now using are both relevant -- Joey's exploitation of actual artists who care was bad, and so is Wilson's complete disregard for the heart of these artists' work. The memory of Joey can't fix it because he is part of the problem -- he and the demon are the source of the monochrome infection -- so you have to be the one to bring heartfelt colour into this world, a power none of the others have; find a way to heal those trapped by old wrongs and restart the cycle in a better direction. Then, when Audrey says she wants to create a kinder cycle at the end, we have an idea of what that means and that she can do it b/c there's simple symbolism associated with it -- the new, colourful world that's neither corrupted by festering wrongs nor torn apart by Wilson's machines.

anyway. thats my half-baked idea. i still think its a shame that there WAS colour in there for like 2 seconds and they did NOTHING WITH IT!!!!

[triviallytrue]

I know webnovels are kind of irrelevant compared to... everything else, but do you have any recommendations in the vein of those you've talked about/posted before?

I'm currently caught up on Pale Lights and TWI, and I'm trying to fill out my schedule to one new chapter a week without resorting to catching up on wildbow's work, or rereading Practical Guide until aforementioned have a backlog. Completed works are fine as well.

Here's my full webserial opinions list, with the general caveat that webserials are, on average, longer, more poorly paced, and less polished than print novels, and if you aren't hooked pretty early on you should probably drop it:

Finished or currently caught up:

A Practical Guide to Evil

The gold standard of the medium imo, definitely my favorite. It has its flaws like any other, but I feel more comfortable recommending it than most.

Pale Lights

PGTE's author's new work. Still in progress, imo has even more going for it than PGTE does. The setting is more original and the shape of the plot plays to the author's strengths more. Very fun first book, maybe my first recommendation.

Worm

The experience of reading Worm is not very good, but the experience of having read Worm is great. Incredibly compelling story with shitty execution. Is it worth it? I dunno.

HPMOR

The 2% of people who won't find HPMOR too insufferable to read have already read it. Everyone else, steer clear.

UNSONG

Both short and polished by web serial standards. Weird, irreverent, mostly gets better as it goes. Some people will be put off by it, but if you like the first few chapters I think it's excellent.

Did not finish:

Ward

The sequel to Worm. Ward has all of the same issues as Worm with none of the redeeming qualities. Even if you really liked Worm, you still probably shouldn't read Ward.

Pale

By the same author as Worm and Ward, and (I think?) generally considered to be his best work (or best since Worm). I liked it but ended up petering out partway through - it's long even by webserial standards. Will probably pick it up again someday.

The Wandering Inn

I think the longest work of fiction in the English language? Or maybe any language? In a medium full of prolific authors, pirateaba puts them all to shame. Surprisingly decent, but nowhere near good enough to justify its length.

Almost Nowhere

Deeply weird, incredibly compelling, dense enough that I got stuck when I was trying to power through it. Will return to it sooner or later.

Are there more? There's definitely more. But this is off the top of my head, and most of the rest is schlock that is not worth mentioning.

[saltydogsmut]

You know, there could be an argument that Ashley a deeply closeted comp-het lesbian. Aro/ace if you prefer.

Because in spite of her obsession with Andrew, we never see her even think about or acknowledge other men. Even though she's upset when they don't find her particularly attractive, she doesn't seem to understand what sex drive is attached to. Only realising that Andrew would be a deterrent to the guards when he mentions it. And not recognising the murders and threats would quash Andrew's when dealing with the lady I the apartment.

Ashley may not understand the feeling of attraction and love, which is why you get to choose how she defines her own feelings. Her jokes about sex and loving Andrew too much are just that, jokes. She doesn't get the intense feelings everyone else does about the topic as she has no stake in either.

Her understanding of sexuality/people is from r-rated films and maybe some of the theoretical porn books Andrew has stashed away somewhere. (So far as I know, you can't find any, but maybe they're the parents' books, who knows.) . When she's trying to appeal to Andrew it's all about her labour and not anything of a sexual nature, it's always Andrew who initiates the more dubious physical side to their relationship, fingers in her belt loops, crawling into her bed at night, etc. This is why she thinks it's Andrew whose actions are more suggestive than her own. She even admits that in the questionable/love ending, she doesn't particularly care to pursue it. It's just a way to keep him around.

And yet, she always has feirce reactions to women. Why does she call all other women vile temptresses‐ aside from indoctrination from movies/her mom? It could be because she herself has a strong attraction to women. She tries to get confirmation from Andrew about her feelings, asking if he thinks nina is pretty, because she thought nina was pretty. Nina stopped being her friend as soon as Ashley found out she had feelings for her brother- not just because of the risk to Andy spending less time with her and the potential of them never being friends to begin with and only a means to an end- but potentially because Ashley had a crush on her and felt rejected.

The same could be said for Julia, who Ashley sends insulting and vulgar phonecalls to, showing her confusion of where the lines should be by saying "you think you're better because you can fuck him and I can't?!" But clearly according to one ending she can. Or at least, partway. We understand something sexual happened, but its possible they didn't have vaginal intercourse. Ashley might not be able to get physically aroused while thinking about men, making her assertions about women even more stark. If women can arouse even her, then surely no man could ever resist their charms. Not even Andrew.

After all, Ashley can place herself in the romance spot between the other girl bunnies, but her budding feelings can never blossom. Only Andrew gets to experience thd blooms of romance.

Anyway. This bitch gay. YEET.

[calypsolemon]

okay let’s try and analyze anthy’s reactions during duels and why she sometimes is just completely still and other times she’s like “utena watch out!!” and other times she’s full on interfering. also how her relationship with utena and vice versa changes during the whole season

Lune you had no clue how much you were asking for when you sent this partway thru our watchthru lmaooo

I think the easiest question to answer here is "why she is completely still sometimes" and well it's that... most of the time she doesn't need to do anything. Anthy has been acting as the rose bride for what is clearly a looong time, and her "job" (her real job, as commanded by Akio, not what she presents to the duelists) essentially amounts to subtly manipulating people into projecting their desires onto her, so they will fight to own her. Usually, by the time they are at the arena clashing swords, Anthy has already done everything she needs to - the pawns are in place so to speak, she only needs to watch them play out their parts.

Beyond that, Anthy is generally emotionally disconnected from what goes on in the duels, despite the fact that they influence who she is going to have to live with. Though some duelists may, on a surface-level, treat Anthy better than others, and that might lead her to attempt to subtly push duels in her favor when she can, she ultimately sees her abuse at the hands of duelists as an inevitability, just another Thursday in the life of the Rose Bride. Therefore, apathy is the default Anthy emotion for any given duel.

So lets talk about the times when she is Very Much Not Apathetic

From the very first duel, she actually does express shock at Utena winning the duel with just a wooden sword. I will be honest, I dont actually put much weight onto this moment. I think its just sort of a natural reaction to someone so uninvested in either Anthy or the power she represents, winning the duel in such a dramatic way. I'm not even sure at this point she's clued in to Utena embodying Dios.

More notably, we have Miki's duel, which is the first true sign of mid-duel intervention by Anthy. By this point Utena has had an actual moment of "Dios coming down from the castle to possess her," which... depending on your reading means either Anthy, Akio, or both see some sort of potential in Utena. So she blatantly throws the duel for Miki by directly contrasting the idea of protecting her she's purposefully built up till this point.

The most notable reaction from the first arc, though, would be in the second duel against Touga.

This is after we get one of the only direct confirmations in this arc that Anthy is actually beginning to care for Utena; the scene where she is sitting alone, imagining Utena across from her at the table. In this moment, when Utena is fighting for her princely ideals despite the risk of actual death, Anthy is (for lack of a better term) triggered into recalling when Dios was gravely injured and still attempting to act as prince. And whether it is through the protective instincts of those memories, or just straight up being pulled out of concentration of what she's doing, it causes her to accidentally throw the duel for Touga, by rescinding her power from his sword.

So, we basically have two precedents set for Anthy reacting during duels: She sometimes consciously interferes as a strategic move, and she sometimes has a genuine emotional reaction, usually in relation to her memories of Dios being triggered and/or potential care for Utena. I don't actually think these two things are mutually exclusive, however, and they become muddled as we move into the Black Rose Arc.

Anthy definitely begins to be a lot more lively during these duels, from interacting with the objects on the tables, to giving Utena's sword the blessing, to yelling for her as she catches her mid-air. Is this because she genuinely cares for or is concerned about Utena? Is projecting Dios onto her? Or is it just because Utena winning is what is necessary for the duels to function? Maybe some combo of all? Who knows

The most notable Black Rose Duel reaction, to me personally, is when Anthy downright demands Utena pull the sword from her against Wakaba. Its very uncharacteristic of her, and I believe its because, despite the Black Rose Duels being something she has a hand in, she may genuinely be concerned for her own life here, as she has built up Wakaba to be actually, murderously jealous of her personally, and Utena is actively refusing to fight.

As we move into the final arcs of the show, we get one of the most blatant Anthy duel disruptions to date:

The sword of Dios disappears mid-battle, and instead of remembering Dios in the face of fighting against impossible odds, it is now Utena's words of friendship that spur her to jump in front of her, and draw her own sword from her chest. I really think this is one of the most significant mid-duel actions Anthy takes besides the final duel. It shows that Anthy's emotions are no longer being spurred on by simple relation back to Dios, but rather by the genuine care that Utena is showing her. Even if their relationship is about to be mired in turmoil thanks to Akio's interference, it was starting to become something real, and it was also starting to break down Anthy's carefully built walls.

I'm getting eepy and also this is getting long, so I'm going to stop the analysis train there. I could get into the final duel but quite frankly I think thats an essay in and of itself. Anthy's reactions during duels is really a fascinating topic and you could probably go on forever talking about it (just like everything else in this show)

[crossdressingdeath]

DAI does that with a lot of things. Morrigan gets to claim to be a Elven expert, even though you know that is far from the truth if you've played Origins where she didn't know shit. Cullen gets final say in his dialogue options despite you knowing that he's lying. Grey Wardens gets shit on and the Inquisitor can wildly overstep.

DAI has this weird mix of a) expecting you to have read all the books/comics so that they don't have to explain anything and b) assuming that you haven't played the previous games so they can try to rewrite what happened.

Yeah, the required reading for DAI was ridiculous. WEaWH is always the big one because most of the others you can get by without it (even Cole's backstory isn't necessary to appreciate and understand the character, and enough of it comes up in-game to get by), but knowing what Celene and Gaspard did is kind of fucking important, Bioware. And then even when Celene purging the alienage comes up it's used as a mark against Briala for being in a relationship with her at the time even though if I'm understanding the excerpts I've seen of TME Briala breaks it off as a direct result of the purge and (as Dorian rightly points out) that'd be more Celene's scandal than Briala's anyway. Like, they try to make Celene purging the alienage into Briala's crime because she was sleeping with the empress at the time and that's just... ugh. But it's like, I would argue that it would be fair and honestly best practice to assume that people playing the third game in a series have played the first two games? DA has an overarching narrative even if the connections aren't particularly close, if someone wants to start partway through they can but the writing should expect people to be familiar with the games' stories. Maybe have some codex entries summarizing the previous games or a little intro cutscene, but... I don't know, I'm worried about the fact that apparently DAV doesn't need you to have played the first three games when literally all the setup for it is in DAI. Expecting people to have played all the games in a narrative-driven RPG series and not to have jumped in partway through is fair! Expecting people to have read five supplementary novels and two coffee table lore books to understand the plot is ridiculous. At least Tevinter Nights and The Missing so far seem to only be relevant to DAV in that they show some glimpses of what's been going on between games and give us a point of reference for some of the new characters...

The thing that gets me with DAI is that the game really wants you to side with the Templars whether it makes sense or not. Like... let's take the choice between mages and Templars as an example. The game wants you to side with the Templars. It really does, it tries its best to dissuade the player from siding with the mages if you go that route (Cullen's little "Oh... it's so dangerous... we shouldn't do it..." routine is notable when compared to Leliana and Josie, both of whom favour the mages, being very professional about you picking the Templars), it does its utmost to claim that the rebellion was unwarranted when it absolutely was not, the rebels are constantly framed as weak or mean or evil or stupid while the Templars were just misled (by... a guy who told them he'd let them murder all the mages and left out the "in service to Corypheus" bit, they still joined his little walkout to murder people, but the game doesn't get into that), it even lets you switch quests well past what should've been the point of no return if you're on the mage route (WHY CAN YOU SWITCH AFTER LEARNING THERE'S A FUCKING MAGISTER IN FERELDEN TRYING TO ENSLAVE A BUNCH OF MAGES, BIOWARE, WHY THE FUCK IS THAT AN OPTION) whereas with the Templars you can't even learn what your advisors' plan for getting you in alive is until you're locked in. And I'm not going to lie, CotJ is legitimately the better quest. I did it once to see and god damn it is quality, I don't dislike IHW but... yeah CotJ is definitely stronger.

But then you actually look at the story and... why the fuck would you side with the Templars? They left the Chantry because the Divine told them not to murder people. That's explicit, people tell you that repeatedly. They're making excuses for it, but there's always an acknowledgement that... yep, that's why the Templars left, they wanted to kill people and were mad about being told no. Leliana (the most familiar face among the advisors and given Cassandra's previous appearance was threatening Varric and Cullen's was playing yes man to Meredith for nine years and only changing sides once she became a threat to him/because not doing so would mean fighting Hawke Leliana's the one people are most likely to want to side with) is pro-mage and dismisses Cullen's claims that the Templars could help close the Breach as speculation. Which... it is. This situation is completely unprecedented, no one knows what's going to happen. But given mages are incredibly powerful and Templars are repeatedly portrayed as mostly useless in any sort of real danger that doesn't involve children or indoctrinated Circle mages (it is not a coincidence that the only people locked in the tower in Broken Circle who survive with their minds and bodies intact without the demons actively choosing to let them live for funsies are mages; the only Templar who's alive and unpossessed is Cullen, and the demons very obviously could've killed him at any time and just chose not to because they were having fun toying with him) I'm gonna say the mages are a safer bet. Also because... they invited Quiz. That could be a trap, but you know what's definitely a trap? Walking into a fortress full of heavily-armed mage killers who openly want you dead. Meeting with the Templars is really, really stupid (especially if you're a mage) and you don't even learn the plan for getting you inside unharmed until you actually select the quest. Also that plan is basically just "if there are witnesses with societal power the Templars can't murder you unprovoked" because reminder: the Templars are the absolute worst. Why would you ever want these people around. And then if you meet with the mages first like "Well I'll figure it out once I've heard what they have to say, I don't have to commit if I do things this way so I might as well" you learn that there's a Tevinter magister serving an evil Tevinter cult just chilling in Redcliffe and why the fuck would you go to the Templars at that point this needs to be dealt with. The game wants you to side with the Templars but it gives you no reason to do so, I really wonder sometimes if the writers weren't talking to each other at all.

[bones-mccoy-turned-me-bi]

Ok so last night I had a dream about startrek, it started during amok time pretty much going the same way except, T'pring didn't do the challenge they got married.

Only remember bits and pieces during this point but Kirk is heartbroken, he's not letting Spock know (duh) which isn't a problem because Spock is oblivious about Kirk's feelings for him.

I forgot to mention that Spock does have feelings for him and didn't want to marry T'pring but he was convinced that Kirk doesn't love him,whilst also doing this whole "It's Vulcan way" so he decided to just do it.

Anyways he went through Pon Farr with T'pring and ended up getting her pregnant

This is another point where memory doesn't like me, but anyway they have a son (his name was changing like every half a second but ima call him Telek since that's one of the only ones I remember)

ANYWAYS this child just sorta exists in the back of Kirk's mind for like 2-3 years till T'pring's work (I forget what she does but it's like similar circumstances to her being on the enterprise in snw) lines up with the enterprise, and she brought Telek with her.

So they meet the kid

Kirk is trying so hard rn but it's like that's Spock's child with the wife he didn't know he had so he's struggling.

Mccoy likes the kid and is doing a way better job of being normal towards him and T'pring ( whilst also comforting Kirk which I thought was really cute )

Anyways another time jump

T'pring dies.

This isn't even that much later cause Telek looked like 4.

I have no idea how she dies but she did, Spock is hurt but not like extremely?

Like he did care about her but he never really loved her and when they spoke it was really just him asking about Telek.

Anyways Kirk is like kinda happy about this but also very mad that he is happy about this because Spock's wife died and that's horrible so he's like trying to comfort Spock but it's kinda awkward because Kirk hated T'pring and they both know he hates her.

Anyways Kirk is like well he's not married anymore maybe nows my chance and Mccoy is like "She just died dude at least give the guy some time to grieve "

So Kirk does but like only for a month or so

and he's back to trying to court Spock, but Spock is still oblivious and thinks Kirk is just still trying to comfort him so it's not working that well. At some point Kirk decides fuck it I'll just tell him.

So Kirk invites Spock over for chess and partway through like thier second game ( gotta give him some time to work up the nerve) Kirk blurts it out.

And like at first Spock doesn't react so Kirk's like freaking out like "omg I just ruined our entire friendship " " why did I say that" " holy shit he hates me now doesn't he?? " all the while Spock is like fucking buffering because the guy he's been in love with for years just admitted loving him since like the first day they met and like ????? Holy shit?????.

Anyways Kirk started like apologizing to Spock which kinda snaps him out of his little trance and Spock is now the one freaking out cause he took to long to answer so he kinda panics and just like

leans over the chess board and like fuckin kisses him.

Anyways they're together (they also find out they are T'hy'la and it's really sweet)

And at some point ( not that much later come on its Spock and Kirk and they've been in love for years ) they get married and it's very sweet and they are both Telek's dads now and stuff and Mccoy is doing his whole " took you two long enough Jesus " but he's secretly stoked and not hiding it well.

Um anyways this is about were I woke up.

Its the most coherent dream (am I saying that right? ) I've ever had

Idk if you wanna make a fic about it please do and post the link when you reblog it cause I'm not gonna find it otherwise 👍

[sincerely-sofie]

Sofiiieeee🥺I miss Twig and Ark. Are they doing okay?

They're being adorable as ever :>

Twig was an early riser. Try as she might to sleep in, she never could outlast the sunrise, no matter how little sleep she got the night before. During the times when insomnia reared its ugly head, that would have spelled disaster for her mood the following day— but she hadn't struggled with more than an occasional bout of restlessness in years. These days, she slept soundly, and she woke refreshed at dawn. 

She stretched out all her limbs while she laid in bed, blinking away the fogginess of sleep before rising. She pulled on a new shawl for the day— one that was all soft sky blues and deep, rich indigos— and slipped out of her room. She checked on Opal like she always did, creaking open the nursery door to peer in and make sure she was okay, and couldn't help the fond smile that found its way onto her face when she saw her baby curled up cozily with a stuffed ekans doll hugged against her. Ark had the worst time putting the thing together, but Opal didn't notice the poor shaping and asymmetric stitches he always worried so much about. She only cared about being able to toddle around with the thing and pretend to feed it during mealtimes. 

Twig closed the nursery door partway, leaving it open just barely so that if Opal started to fuss she'd hear, and then entered the main room. 

Ark was sitting at the dining table, his back to her, with a series of colorful swatches of fabric laid out before him. She leaned over his shoulder to get a better look at the pieces of his latest sewing project, and he leaned back to rest his head against the side of her jaw and sigh.

“Rough night?” She asked, frowning, as her arms came up to hug him. 

He shook his head, and his downy hair tickled at her cheek with the motion. “Not at all. I only find myself debating the right color to base a landscape on. There's so many possibilities… A lighter blue would lend itself well to a misty forest scene, while a rich brown could become a vignette of the same forest’s floor during daylight. I've been in a bit of a stupor of thought at what I should choose.”

Twig leaned forward a bit more to analyze the fabric swatches. Knowing Ark, every last one of them would get used eventually, and he certainly had plans for each of them, but she knew he was always anxious when deciding on which project to do next. It was something he put a lot of emphasis on— almost like he thought he had to choose correctly or it would ruin the subsequent project somehow. She didn't really understand it, but she knew it mattered to him, so she'd do her best to give a good opinion. “How about that darkish purple over there?” She indicated the swatch she meant. “That's a nice one. You could make a pretty wreath design on it, or maybe something with stars and the moon and that kinda stuff.”

He took up the swatch in his hands, stroking a thumb across it as he hummed in thought. “I think I very much like your latter idea. Though I'm afraid I've made far too many similar pieces.”

She shifted to stand at his side and lightly bonk their heads together, rolling her eyes when he turned to her. “You don't tell me that I've made far too many similar pieces when I come home from a walk with another wildflower bundle.” She pressed her forehead to his, and her stern expression wavered into a smile when he leaned into the touch and set a hand on her shoulder to further it. “I know you really like making those embroidery projects about the night sky. You're always smiling when you work on them. Let yourself have a bit of crafting junk food once in a while, man.”

He chuckled, and Twig could just melt at the light, carefree sound. Ark stood from his seat and moved aside his bangs to press a kiss onto the tip of her nose. “How could I refuse my wife’s advice? Very well. I'll indulge in the project.” He smiled as he kissed the crown of her head as well. “Many thanks, Twig. Your counsel is appreciated.”

“Welcome.” She pulled him down for a quick peck of her own, grinning wide when he laughed happily at the affection. Gosh, she loved this guy. “Hey, how about putting that one constellation in your project? The one with that story you told me about how the earth started orbiting the sun?�� 

“For you, anything.” He pressed their foreheads together once more and sighed— though this time, it was a sound free from frustration and full of contentment. “Anything and everything, up to and including the very world itself, should you ask for it.”

Twig smiled again. “You're such a nerd, holy frick.” 

“You're the one wearing your shawl inside out.”

“Wh— Oh my gosh, seriously? Holy— that's embarrassing. I didn't even notice.” She hurriedly corrected the mistake, but stopped short of retying the knot securing her shawl when Ark laughed again, fond and soft, shaking his head. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing— just—” He took the corners of her shawl in his hands and flipped it back over, opposite of Twig's righting it, then gingerly tied the knot himself. “It was correct the first time. You'll have to forgive my mischief.”

Twig narrowed her eyes. “Hey, you know how I said you're a nerd?”

“Yes, you say it often.”

“You're a dork, too. And I'm saying that the mean way this time.”

“Understandable. Though I will correct you and say I'm your dork,” he asserted, eyes all crinkled up with his smile. She huffed a laugh. “Yeah, yeah.” He let her pull him down for another kiss. “My dork.”

[horsefreek151]

I went to Pride in a Wheelchair!

I love going to things and haven't been able to do more than one thing a month for YEARS till I got my wheelchair. I went from ambulatory 100% of the time to having to take any trip where I'll be standing for more than 10 minutes in a wheelchair within four years (let's be honest, its been two years since I started using a cane). I got my "over-the-counter" wheelchair last February after using the wheelchair service for the first time at an airport. It's been LIFE CHANGING.

I can run errands with my husband and go to one store on my own while he goes to the other. I can take myself for a "walk" without worrying about falling or getting too exhausted. I can do stuff all day and be in so little pain I can cook dinner and take care of myself and the animals.

I was really anxious (I'm Autistic, have ADHD, and suffer from CPTSD, so new things are stressful), but I decided to go to Pride this year with my husband. We hadn't gone since 2019. I wanted to finally go out again. And I wanted to take my wheelchair. I didn't want to go out, and I knew I would come home and be stuck in bed for two days after.

My Service dog can perform around the chair. Honestly, she does better in the chair because she can reach me more easily. She's six pounds, 2.72 Kg, so it's easier for her to check in and tell me if something is wrong. It's also a good training opportunity. The only hitches were on the way was that there was a dude who thought it was ok to CLIMB over me (The MBTA worker chased him down, hollering at him for it before letting me off, Bostonian MBTA man, you are my hero <3). A very nice Queer Butch Vet helped me when I got stuck at one point partway off the train, with my dear husband pulling me. The other hitch was a very eager pitbull puppy (like a year or two) who practically jumped in my chair to say hi to my service dog (who shockingly didn't bat an eye at the head larger than her whole ass body, just looked slightly confused). I shoved him off my chair, saying "Fuck off" sharply, and my husband hip-checked the dog back. His handlers looked horrified, but we were fine. He was just so strong they didn't realize. We had a wonderful time at the parade, and my service dog had some great socialization (she has a "say hi" command cause people will say hi anyway, and I want her to be able to snap back to attention). I learned she knows the difference between someone in a mascot suit and someone who is a furry in a fur suit (I think she can tell emotional investment; she dislikes mascots and loves fursuiters). I met a photographer and their partner, who gave us a photo of her. I got to go on a roll without my husband and a friend who joined us to go talk to a few booths, Including a queer library where my librarian husband could do some volunteer work. After, we went to the block party, and I chatted with the Sex Workers and Volunteers at the Sex Work Decriminalisation booth (something I'm INCREDIBLY passionate about) and showed off her "Working Girrrl" patch I made her for her little pride outfit (It was a huge hit and they gave her a button). I plan to try to do some graphic design and art for them! We had a wonderful time. We went home after 8 and a half hours. I LASTED 8.5 HOURS. It was amazing. We got home and soaked our sore joints, but I was able to do stuff the next day with no problem! It was shocking; I felt almost normal. I felt like myself again for a bit. I would have barely made it through a bit of the parade, let alone through the T and public transit, with my service dog. I felt free.

I was so glad and told my therapist I wanted to go out more with my chair on trips, to visit places and events! I want to go out and about again! She was very excited.

It's been over a year of resting and waiting till I get better, but knowing deep down, that wasn't going to happen. I'm so glad to have that bit of me back.

[collabwithmyself]

More Pikmin AU writing yahoo!

Maybe fifteen minutes later, Hito finally shoves open the escape hatch. He gets a glimpse of greenery before overbalancing and toppling out onto the soil.

The tumble doesn't do his aching body any favors. His head spins, and his mouth starts to water like he might get sick. Dirt crunches beneath his body as he rolls over, looking up at the sky and what's left of his ship.

It's smoking and seared, looking like a skeletal parody of its former self. It's a miracle it's even partway recognizable. Hito cringes.

According to the pack attached to the back of his suit, he's got thirty days' worth of battery before it stops filtering the air for him. One month to put his ship back together enough to send a distress signal, or better yet, take off entirely.

It feels horrifically daunting. Even thinking about it intensifies his nausea. He has no idea where to even start looking, let alone how he'll get any of that heavy machinery back to the ship...

But he can't just give up. If he dies alone here, with no one having any idea where he went, then... that means...

...

Hito grits his teeth, digs his fingers into the earth, and gets up.

Gravity weighs heavily on him here. He doesn't think it's safe to even jump, with the state of his sore body right now. It's with agonizing slowness that he plods forward, squinting into the wilderness.

The flora here is... huge. Mere blades of grass tower over him. He can make out flowers thrice his height, not far off. It makes him feel like he's found himself the size of a bug in his own backyard. It's not a comforting notion.

His steps are hesitant as he gazes around, pointed ears pricked for sounds. If the plants here are this big, the animals aren't something he wants to run into.

He's so busy looking up, he doesn't notice the object half-buried in front of him. Well, not until it erupts violently from the earth, spraying dirt every which way and pulling a shriek from Hito's throat. He stumbles back and flings his arms over his face as long limbs snake out, jabbing into the dirt on either side of him.

...then it goes still. Hito hesitates, and slowly raises his head.

Above him is a plantlike contraption the size of his body. The shape and bright red shade make him think of an onion. Three green stalks suspend it in the air, several units above his head.

It jolts, and Hito yelps, stumbling back several paces. He gets a glimpse of white petals on top of the onion as they curl inwards- then they spit something into the air.

He watches the object descend to the ground and bury itself in the dirt. His gaze flicks between the onion and its spawn, and he startles a third time when said spawn abruptly sprouts.

The leaf is maybe the size of his hand, swaying gently in the breeze as though beckoning him forward. Hito, frankly, has no idea what to do with it. Should he take a closer look? Is it bait so the onion can eat him? He's wasting daylight, deliberating over this...

Curiosity wins out over self preservation. Hito creeps closer to the onion and the sprout, muscles tensed and eyes wide. When the great structure doesn't move again, he kneels to examine its creation.

The leaf is startlingly warm when he reaches for it, radiating heat like a fire that he can feel even through his glove. He hesitates, but presses a hand against it.

It twitches. Like it's alive. Hito jerks his arm away with a gasp.

But nothing crawls out of the dirt towards him. The sprout remains where it is.

He reaches out a second time, for the stem. The plant twitches again, like it's nudging itself into his touch. His fingers curl around it.

Then, gently, he pulls.

The earth parts around the sprout, revealing a bulb the same color as the onion above him. It's got a sharp protrusion, and he moves his arm so it doesn't slice his suit open-

Just above it, two little eyes crack open and blink at him.

Hito blinks back.

"Um," he says.

The sprout squeaks at him.

It doesn't... seem to be trying to bite him, or wriggling out of the dirt to claw at him. So after a moment's hesitation, he keeps pulling.

The dirt parts around spindly little arms, a thick torso, and squat legs- then he's got a full creature dangling from his hands, looking remarkably like a red carrot with a nose. It doesn't fight him at all, dangling placidly from his grasp.

"...good afternoon?" Hito tries.

"Ihwo!" the sprout squeaks back.

He sets it on his feet, then grunts as he straightens up. The creature watches him curiously, its stem flopping over to hang behind it.

"Right, um..." Hito feels the urge to wring his hands, and instead folds his arms to trap his fingers under his armpits.

The sprout tilts its head. "Haa?"

"It's... nice to meet you? But uh, ha, I'm... kinda busy right now," Hito chuckles nervously. "So... I gotta go. Haha."

"Ih."

So Hito turns to examine the area, figuring the creature will just... wander off. Just grass and rocks, and the smoldering remains of his ship...

...wait. There's smoke trailing from just over the stone ledges walling him in. Could that be...?

His gaze roves over the clearing, searching for some spot he can climb over. But the only break in the stone is shielded by a giant wall of... something.

He heads over to it, testing its strength. Though the wall towers over him, when he scrapes his fingertips against it, it lets out the unmistakable hiss of a cardboard surface.

Is this a box? It's got a little give when Hito throws a shoulder up against it, but there's no way he's moving it alone. He'd need the strength of ten men.

"Huh?"

Hito swears and whirls around. The sprout has followed him like a puppy, standing at attention a couple paces behind him.

"Stars, bud," he sighs, "don't scare me like that. What's up, huh?"

The creature glances back towards the onion, which has remained still, looming over the clearing.

"...you need something?" Hito prompts. When the creature doesn't reply, he starts walking back towards the structure, and the flowers surrounding it. The sprout trails along eagerly behind him.

The onion doesn't respond when he places a hand on one of its legs. And there's no way he's climbing up to its main structure.

"There more of you guys in there?" Hito asks the creature at his heels. "Ha, maybe they can help me move that box."

"Unh," the sprout replies.

"Right," he says, as though that made any sense.

He gets bolder with his attempts to jostle the onion into releasing another seed. The sprout watches with what he suspects is amusement as he tries to shove at the support legs.

"Come on, please," he grumbles, "just gimme something to work with--!"

One frustrated kick has him hopping backwards in pain, and he falls back against the stem of one of the flowers blooming above him. The petals rustle, then--

Hito yelps as something thuds into the dirt right in front of him. It's like a giant seed. Did that come from the flower...?

Before he can get up to examine it, though, the sprout darts towards it, seizing it and starting to drag it towards the onion with little high-pitched grunts. Hito watches it work in bewilderment- it's a startling change from following him around.

As it drags the seed beneath the onion... a light shines down like a tractor beam. In an instant, the seed is sucked up, and Hito looks up as the onion's petals finally curl again. It spits out one leaf, then another, and he watches the sprouts float down to plant themselves.

"...huh," he says.

Somewhere in the very back of Hito's mind, a plan begins to form.

[theworldvsyoshiko]

The first full year has passed, and thus, a status update.

Harriet Bowers

Harriet's almost 16, so she's going to have to reset her age soon to avoid becoming an adult, which we all know is a fate worse than death. She's leveled up a lot in this year, thanks to her ridiculous traits.

One thing I didn't mention before: as a relic of this starting as a test for a bushido-themed run, Harriet started with a masterwork monosword. Between that and the recon armor she just got for catsitting, she's now the group's primary combatant. Since she doesn't have Mephizel's hangups about guns, she's also carrying a Taurus Judge, aka one of those pistols that can shoot fucking .410 slugs. I think she's actually gotten a kill with it, but it isn't really a primary option. ... Brawler actually means that she should be awful with guns, and I should probably look into why it isn't flooring her Shooting skill like it should.

She's also the only person in the group who's any good with plants, the only decent cook, and... okay, she's basically the best at everything but Shooting, Mining, Animals, and Art.

Harriet adores General, gets along pretty well with Kena, and is ambivalent leaning toward dislike toward Fo. It takes some real effort to accomplish that, because this group is so pro-kid that they all get +20 to their relationships with other people under 25.

Fo Sirach

As is typical of impid raiders who attack in the first season or so, Fo's kinda useless. He has a peg leg now, so he isn't super slow, but his skill are... I mean, the Crafting would be great under other circumstances, but Kena beats him there. He's basically the miner. That's about it. The rest of the time he's camped out at the research desk, because nobody's good at it, so might as well have him handle that.

He's no good in fights, either. In other circumstances, I'd probably slap a gun into his hands anyway, but CE means that ammo is a concern. It's in short supply right now, so I can't afford to hand any to a guy who would need a patient explanation of where the safety is.

Fo generally gets along with everyone but Harriet. One of the primary reasons there is that Harriet remembers the time he attacked her house trying to kill her, and holds an understandable grudge.

Kena Réveil

Kena's the crafter, backup construction person, and the only one in the group who knows how to use a gun, which makes her the group's other primary combatant. She's got a FN-FAL. Look, most of the guns that CE adds are actual modern RL weapons. I prefer not to think about it, rather than try to figure out if this means that NATO still exists in the year 5500.

Kena likes everyone, but she has high compatibility with Harriet. I give good odds that they end up dating.

Amaya "General" Rose

She's 9. Not much to say about her skills, apart from the fact that Melee 3 + Martial Artist means that she's already killed at least one grown adult in melee combat. She arrived partway through the 7-10 growth period, so she's going to have pretty stunted growth at 10. This kid isn't going to have a lot of passion for skills, so she'd better get some good picks.

Overall

Harriet discovered batteries in only 9 months, which puts her ahead of a certain succubus. Part of the reason they're doing better: early on, a trade caravan outside had one of its pack animals get struck by lightning and die, dropping all of its stuff. They got a heap of money out of that. Also: five single-use anti-tank rocket launchers, which will be handy the first time a serious mech attack shows up.

Electricity's a pretty recent thing, though, so they don't have much else going on. Since winter just ended, the food supply is pretty tight. Their diet is currently about 50% eggs they stole from the giant maneating spider that lives nearby, let me put it like that.

[i-read-that-manga-for-you]

Given

Admittedly, I read this manga a long time ago. Like when chapters were still coming out. I was still in high school at the time (holy fuck) and couldn't really articulate my feelings as well as I can now.

I had left this review (bits and pieces of it) on a manga site and decided I might as well put it on my tumblr, finetuning it, of course. First post, because in spite of its flaws, Given is still close to my heart. And I reread it again (somewhat) to make this a better review. I hope each person who reads this will reimburse me with 50 cents each (jk don't). So here it is. My impression of Given, with !!some!! talk about how SA is treated in BL/Yaoi culture in general.

Or not, this is just my two cents with no anthropology degree.

Do take what I say with a grain of salt, a piece of creative media does not exist in a vacuum, but this review treats it as one at times because I'm not really skilled enough to talk about any wider implications. I'm just some guy giving my review.

Spoilers ahead. Go ahead.

TW: Sexual Assault.

Honestly, this manga made me feel a lot. Good and bad feelings. But let's focus on what I liked.

Ugetsu.

He's on the phone, shhh.

I found Ugetsu to be a very compelling character, and it was a huge shame that he vanished partway through the manga. Basically? I have no criticisms about him as a character, he has his flaws and he's nuanced. He's interesting and compelling, and it's clear that he's someone who is still growing and learning to walk on his own two feet. I won't deny that his relationship with Akihiko was very toxic, but I definitely think this isn't something that can be blamed solely on him.

But with this out of the way. Let's talk about the pairings.

Let's talk about Akiharu.

Kizu Natsuki is an amazing artist... Even when I have certain issues with this manga.

Well. I have a lot of qualms with Akiharu.

For starters, Akihiko assaulted Haruki. I'll never forget that. The fact that they ended up getting together anyway was a huge point of contention for me. Given was framed as a story about love more than a traditional story about BL/yaoi which (sorry) usually leans towards the sex. (This is not to say that sex and romance are separated, well they are but they are linked rather than being one in the same. You can have either, like they're hot/cold water but they come from the same faucet.)

But I feel that having this scene in rather than an argument feels completely wrong. I'm someone who will digest pretty much anything the world throws at me, but the Akiharu assault scene came off wrong and it came off scary. (Note: I say scary but I definitely mean much more than that, I just feel like "shouldn't be romanticized" doesn't encapsulate all of it. This topic is not something I'm qualified to talk about, so I don't want to overstep any boundaries.)

And to be honest, that's good because SA shouldn't be romanticised, for that, a big well done to our author. I just wish the aftermath was dealt with better.

This is terrifying. Please retract your words.

In spite of the SA scene being scary, afterwards all seemed to be resolved the moment it was revealed that Akihiko had nowhere else to go.

Everything for them goes uphill from here. Yay.

I just have to wonder what was the point of that buildup if you were just going to allow things to end nicely like that. With a scene like that, you'd think that the manga was saying that "SA is scary, it's terrifying and it's something that you shouldn't forget even if it's BL/Yaoi." But, why did it end up like this.

What I'm trying to say is: What does it matter that Akihiko apologised (twice), he still assaulted Haruki, he assaulted a friend. Even worse is the way that they're framed as a healthy couple afterwards, this just made me all the more uncomfortable. I feel like this is saying "SA is scary" but also saying "the power of love and friendship absolves everything". I've seen some people talk about the fact that SA happened, but haven't seen them say how it was "resolved". I think it's more to do with yaoi/BL fiction culture, that we've grown to accept SA that is unaddressed in our media to the point that Akihiko's apology is like a prayer more than something that's not even worth a second glance.

Saying that Akiharu started off rocky is an understatement, but if I pretend it never happened, I can say for sure that they are much healthier than Akigetsu, and they deserve each other. It's just not good storytelling especially because I don't really understand the motivations of Haruki liking Akihiko.

I once said that Haruki's character arc was based on Akihiko and that was my bad. I was wrong. Haruki, in fact, has a minor character arc, that isn't really to do with Akihiko, about how he feels insecure surrounded by geniuses in the band and this gets resolved by Akihiko saying that they wouldn't be able to function if all of them were geniuses, and Haruki himself seeing Akihiko hard at work. But I had completely forgotten about this arc, my bad, but my point still stands. Haruki deserved a better character arc.

I don't have a smart comment for this unfortunately. Eat your veggies??

In spite of saying this, I'm not an Akiharu hater, I swear. But I just found that ship much less compelling than Akigetsu in general. Akigetsu was a relationship where they were both incredibly toxic towards each other, there was an imbalance in the fact that Ugetsu literally owned the place they were living in, as well as how he'd kick Akihiko out whenever things were rocky. However, I think the end of their relationship was dealt well on both sides, their toxicity towards each other was framed in a negative light as it should have been. They ended the relationship and went their separate ways, this was the best ending for them. For Akiharu and Akigetsu: The difference between these two relationships is that one was dealt well and the other was dealt wrong. Akiharu deserve each other and Ugetsu deserves to learn how to grow by himself.

Anyway, another point of contention was, in spite of the healthy nature of Akiharu. Somehow, the friendship between the two couples seems to have waned and it was pretty disappointing to see. I think it started before this, but the first time it was obvious to me was this scene.

I know you're in the middle of something, but don't be mean to Mafuyu >:(.

Context: This is Chapter 40. Akiharu are in a moment of intimacy and Uenoyama is knocking at their door trying to get advice.

We've seen that Mafuyu is a very reserved person, to see that Akihiko was so ready to tell Mafuyu to stop coming over (even if it is to stop him from coming over so suddely) right to his face was extremely immature.

Basically, imagine if that had been Mafuyu. Personally, I feel like Mafuyu would have been hurt like hell and closed right back up. This scene is something played for laughs and that's something so disappointing. Given is shown to be a band of friends, but in the end it seemed more like two couples who hang out sometimes. Also the fact that both Akihiko and Haruki are pushing Uenoyama to get Mafuyu to rejoin the band. That's something else that bothers me heavily. That they're treating Mafuyu as Uenoyama's responsibility because they're dating. It's a band that is sure to fall apart if you are not making an effort to support each other equally. I mean, it doesn't have to be entirely equal but points for effort and they get no points here. It's funny because they were at least a little self-aware of this prior.

Dating in a band is something that is nuanced, of course. But it sure is funny to see them practically go down the same route they condemned.

That's my criticism of Akiharu.

So, what about the other instance of SA? I'm talking about Shizusumi and Hiiragi, of course.

Let's talk about Shizuragi.

Here they are! Let's talk about them!

Admittedly the first time around, I wasn't particularly into Shizuragi, I was too busy mourning the absense of Ugetsu. But it was during their sex scene where I realised something was very wrong. I was having flashbacks to the Akiharu assault chapter but this time it was played as "love" rather than something reprehensible. Once again, assault was in the manga and it, once again, resolved with badly.

I feel like sexual assault being played off as "love" and being resolved literally the next chapter with the victim being all kosher with it, should be garnering people's "??? what the fuck"s and not to bat for the opposing team for once but where are the complaints. I've actually seen some people talking about this chapter, but I would have expected more.

Hiiragi said he was scared and was crying, but they still fucked anyway. :D <- smile of shock.

Um what. Haha... ha........ :D <- terrifed smile of shock.

I don't know whether it would have been worse that he knew he was assaulting Hiiragi or whether he didn't know at all. But he knew.

Shizusumi confessed his love the morning after and it was all okay. But, to be honest, the fact that it was played off as being "all okay" makes this even worse. It's normal in yaoi/BL for SA to be played off as love, but you'd think that the last place you'd see this is in Given of all places. SA is SA and the fact that Hiiragi was so accepting of what happened to him afterwards says something about this the culture of BL/yaoi and how we just go along with it says something about this sentiment of how "yaoi is always going to be yaoi".

We're done? We're done.

There are no more SA scenes (that I can remember). But I do want to touch on Mafuyu and Uenoyama as briefly as possible (This is a recount of my experience after all). So, Mafuyama.

Ah, yes. The start of everything.

Admittedly, I didn't actually find their relationship super compelling. This is because I tend to get tunnel vision on characters I like (in this case, I heavily tunnel visioned on Ugetsu). I do like them both, they just didn't fit within my vision. I thought they were sweet but I also see a lot of complaints about how Mafuyu was stuck on Yuki and Uenoyama was getting backseated and I do agree with this. Kind of.

I think Mafuyu's story is about growth as a person, it's like what people say: You don't move on or lose your grief, you grow around it. Grief doesn't get smaller, you just get bigger. The person he loved died and I don't think it's fair to say that he has to get over Yuki. Grief is something that sticks with you everywhere, something you have to carry every day. They're still teenagers, they're still young and still have room to grow.

But as a story? Sheesh, instead of Haruki having no place in their circle. I felt like Uenoyama, even when he's the protagonist, wasn't given his spotlight in his own story. There is no character arc for him, there is nothing for him and that's just not fair. There are two people in a relationship, so why does it always feel like, narratively, Uenoyama always comes as an afterthought?

You could have had a character arc about this... Relationships are meant to be balanced, sweetie...

I just think it's a shame, but they're nowhere near as unhealthy as the other couples in Given, so I'm giving them a gold star.

(Minor irk, I do not remember when this happened but why the hell does Yayoi (Uenoyama's sister) get a character arc (where she comes to an understanding about Mafuyama feelings for each other, but also the gay in general) but the man himself doesn't?)

So, with Mafuyama, I feel like the story could have focused a little more on Uenoyama's side. But I feel like it's similar to how Haruki's story kind of got the backseat to Akigetsu drama happenings at the time. Shrug, we can't have it all.

He's beautiful...

That's honestly... all my thoughts. Wow! That was a lot of them. I think there's a lot to be said about how yaoi treats SA and dub-con in general, even in a manga that's not even focused on the sex.

With that said, I don't think BL shouldn't have SA or dubious scenes but the aftermath should be dealt with better afterwards. I think with Given, it's a start that the SA (at least with Akiharu) wasn't romanticised, but the aftermath was just poorly executed.

But I'm not the yaoi police, I hold no authority and I don't support purity culture. I'm not an anti-anything and I also believe that fiction should be fiction. What people enjoy should no way equate to a person's worldview. But, this was just all my perspective and my opinion. I said it and now I'm done. Haha... Anyway, my paypal is—