#but it's still really hard and I just.. I guess I don't know how other people can convince their brains to just stop this stuff? or like?

[bumblebeesfromvenus]

Eye Candy 🍬

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Jason Todd × chubby/curvy!reader

FINALLY. I've been wanting to get this out for forever but shit kinda hit the fan and I'm also sick right now lol

This is pure comedy. So much fun to write!! This is for all my thick girlies <3

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Jason wants you to meet his brother (Dick) and his best friend (Roy). As if that wasn't enough of a bomb, doubt starts to creep into your mind at the realization that your curves would make you stand out like a sore thumb in the Wayne family. Jason proves you wrong by taking you to a bar and letting Dick and Roy walk right into a trap.

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"You want me to what?"

"Hey, it's not that big of a deal-... yeah, no, it's... it's a big deal." Jason winced, brows furrowing while he flexed his hands around his mug.

Coffee- of course it was, though it was far too late in the day for even more caffeine, or so you'd scolded him once again.

You were staring at him, slack jawed, eyes widened just slightly as a brief huff of disbelief left your lips.

"Jay, you just told me you want me to meet your family. In what world is that not a big deal?!" You exclaimed, your tone a little more screeching than you'd liked.

He sighed, shoulders dropping ever so slightly, his eyes turned away as a frown etched itself onto his features.

"It's just Roy and Dick, s'not really meeting my family." He mumbled, toying with the handle of his cup, scratching his nails against the ceramic.

"Look, you don't have to, alright? I just thought-... I guess I don't really know what I thought."

Your heart ached. You've never seen him so defeated. So utterly downtrodden. His back slouched, head hung low while his gaze was focused on anything but you.

That heartbreaking glimmer in his eyes that never failed to make your own water.

Gently, you pried the mug from his grip and set it aside, taking his hands in yours.

The action made Jason avert his attention back to you, looking like a kicked puppy.

"I do want to meet them. I really, really do. Because they are your family, whether you want to admit it or not." You smiled softly, watching as he lit up immediately, a huff of relief making his chest feel lighter.

"I'm just nervous. And worried, I suppose? What they'll think, you know. I'm sure that I'm not exactly what they imagine when they think of your girlfriend." You chuckled nervously.

Jason, on the other hand, looked confused. Eyes narrowed, You-can-see-the-gears-turning-but-nothing-is-happening confused.

"What in the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

You cackled at the expression on his face and the goofy tone of his voice.

"Okay, let me put it like this. You're family is a bunch of buff, unfairly jacked and lean super geniuses. Not to mention how good the girls look. And Kori? She's a literal space princess! I just feel like I don't quite fit in. Can you imagine someone like me at one of those Galas? They would lose their minds-"

"'Someone like you? You mean a gorgeous, beautiful, stunning plump lady with a brain so big I sometimes wonder how your neck is still intact? You mean someone like that? Because we could use more of that, trust me." He chuckled dryly.

"Also, you're hot as fuck." He deadpanned, blankly staring at you.

You playfully rolled your eyes, tracing the space between his knuckles.

"A. I know, B. you're biased. I mean, they all probably expect you to date some super model." You explained, sighing.

You knew your worth. You knew that you were beautiful and perfect just they way you are, even beginning to love yourself.

But when challenged with a family full of hotties like the Wayne's plus Gotham's elite, it was hard not to feel just a little out of place with all your curves, bumps and pudge.

Jason's lips were pressed together in a thin line before he inhaled sharply and pinned you down with his gaze.

"Alright, first of all, they have no expectation of who I'd date because I was fuckin' dead, and when I came back my only interest was revenge and smashing peoples heads in. If anything they thought I would die alone."

The bluntness of his words and the expecting raise in his brows had you shell shocked, and pleasantly surprised.

"You're making problems for yourself that don't exist, ladybird." His tone turned soft as did his eyes, enveloping your heart in a blanket of warmth.

"So, respectfully, you don't have a point." He concluded for you, leaning back against the couch with a satisfied noise.

"Huh, I guess I don't." You breathed out, a smile spreading on your face while Jason already sported a wicked grin.

"There ya go. Now, can I brag about my hot, smart and curvaceous girlfriend to my dickhead brother and loser best friend? Because, sweetheart, you're one hell of a woman." He smirked, leaning in to get you all hot and bothered by his proximity.

You bit your lip, trying to act unaffected by his antics.

"Okay, fine," You groaned, feigning annoyance, "But only because I love you." You finished, failing to hide the smile on your face.

In one swift motion, Jason grabbed you and pulled you into his lap, your back pressed firmly to his chest. You let out a startled noise that morphed into a laugh.

"See? Just had to butter you up a bit, pretty girl." He nosed at your neck, a grin showing off his pearly whites while his arms were snaked around your middle.

"What can I say? You have a way with words." You smirked, looking back at him over your shoulder.

Jason chuckled and turned you in his lap, making you face him.

"I do have a very skilled tongue, as you know." He winked at you, kneading the fat of your hips in his hands.

You groaned and rolled your eyes before grinning and pinching his cheek.

"So, you up for tomorrow? It'll just be at a shitty bar somewhere. They won't judge you, I promise. And if they do, they can take it up with Fuck-" Jason raised one arm and flexed his bicep, "and You." With a wide smile, he lifted his other arm, and you watched as his muscles practically inflated.

You giggled, squeezing his arm with an approving nod of your head.

"I'll be there. I just have some errands to run, so I'll meet you at the place, yeah?" You replied sweetly, pressing a kiss to the tip of his nose.

Jason's face scrunched up at your kiss, making him look like an adorable little bunny.

"Sounds good, ladybird." He replied, smiling.

There was something hiding beneath that smile, though. Something sinister. Mischievous. You squinted your eyes at him.

"... What are you up to?" You asked suspiciously, crossing your arms over your chest.

"Who? Me? I'm not up to anything." He replied sweetly, batting his lashes at you.

"Mhm." You hummed, searching for a hint in his teal eyes.

You could see his resolve cracking, his gaze breaking from your for just a split second. You continued to stare at him. Jason cleared his throat and gave you a tight smile before striking.

Quickly, he pushed you off his lap, making you stumble to the floor of your living room on shaky legs before he lowered himself to the ground, hooking one arm around your knees and hoisting you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

You screeched, digging your hands into his hoodie so you wouldn't fall.

"What the fuck! What are you doing?!" You screamed, cracking into a smile when you heard Jason cackle mischievously.

He moved quickly, rounding the couch and any obstacles with ease.

"Well, you see, I've been stumblin' over my words all day. Care to help me loosen up my tongue at bit, doll?" He grinned, hurrying to your bedroom.

"Jason!-"

Your voice burst with a laugh before you were interrupted by a loud crack when his hand met the back of your thigh.

You gasped, quickly followed by a slap against his clothed back.

"Remember that name, angel. I have a feeling you'll be using it a lot tonight."

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·.

"So, she coming?" Roy asked curiously, settling back into the deep-set lounge with his drink.

The redhead was seated in the middle, between the brothers, earning a shove and an annoyed eyeroll from Jason.

Dick snickered, taking a sip of his beverage.

"Why are you so obsessed with my girl, dude?"

"We just wanna make sure she's real. I'd hate to break you out of Arkham again, little wing." Dick grinned from behind the rim of his glass.

"Wow." Roy clicked his tongue, nodding along to the diabolical comment.

Jason only stared at his brother blankly, blinking once, then twice.

"Too far?" Dick asked, wincing slightly.

"Whaddya think, dickhead?" Roy sighed sharply.

"You should be so glad that I'm in therapy. Otherwise I woulda wiped the floor with you right now." Jason mumbled, taking a swig of his drink.

"It's the Piña Coladas talking." His brother chuckled awkwardly.

Jason just snorted, leaning against the soft cushions.

"To answer your question, yes, she's coming." Roy lit up, excitedly setting his beer down on the table.

"Really? So we get to meet the fabled ladybird, huh?" The redhead grinned, bumping his shoulder with Jason's.

He only shook his head and playfully rolled his eyes at Roy.

"Why didn't she come with you, then?" Dick asked, brows furrowed.

"Had to stop by the craft store." Jason replied simply, finishing his drink.

"Oh, so it's like that? You really did get yourself a pretty little thing, didn't you?" Dick smirked, watching as Jason chuckled in response.

"Dickhead's right. They not only make pieces of art, they are ones." Roy agreed.

Dick scoffed at the nickname.

"She's pretty alright. Looks like she belongs in the Louvre." Jason responded with a smile, then immediately regretting that decision when Roy and Dick began to look like the cheshire cat.

"Ooooo, Jay's in looooove." Roy teased with a chuckle.

"Did little wing find an even litteler wing? That's adorable." Duck sniffled, wiping a faux tear from his lashline.

Jason grumbled in response, flipping them off.

"At least I didn't cheat on my girl." He mumbled sharply, hiding behind his second -or third?- glass of the night.

Dick's smile fell and he was reduced to a muttering mess, pouting like a child.

"God, you guys are actual children. Can I have one night-"

they both glanced at Roy when he stopped speaking, his lips parted as he stared at the entrance of the bar.

"You're lettin' flies in, carrot top." Jason said blankly.

Roy let out a low whistle, loosely gesturing to the bar before a smirk cracked on his face.

"Look at that piece of Eye Candy over there."

Dick followed his line of sight.

"Fuck me." He cursed, eyes wide.

"Look at those hips, jesus-"

"Now that's a woman."

Jason was mid sip, uninterested in this mystery woman ordering a drink at the bar. But, he glanced up anyway, only to choke on his drink when his eyes landed on you.

He sputtered, coughing as he felt the alcohol go up his nose.

"Woah, she got you good, didn't she?" Roy teased with a laugh, patting his back.

"Yep.." Jason croaked out, holding back a laugh.

"I'm telling ladybird." Dick said quickly.

Snitch.

"When will she be here anyway? It's been a while." He questioned, pulling up his sleeve to take a look at his watch.

"Soon, soon.." Jason replied, clearing his throat.

"Man, she could sit on me, and I'd thank her. And that rack-"

Roy continued letting his eyes trail over your body.

As amusing as Jason found this little misunderstanding, he couldn't help but grind his teeth and clench his fists.

Meanwhile, Dick delivered a slap to the back of Roy's head.

"Pervert! You don't talk about women like that." He scolded the redhead.

"Says you! As if you don't wanna be suffocated by those thighs or-or knock out on that tummy, I know you do!" Roy said sharply, pointing an accusing finger at Dick.

"Of course I do, but I didn't say it out loud, now did I?" He replied in a condescending tone.

"You fucking-"

"Oh, look, she's approaching us." Jason said nonchalantly, leaning back into the cushions with a grin, watching as the petty bickering between his brother and best friend stopped immediately.

"I call dibs! I saw her first." Roy said quickly, straightening his posture and trying to look unbothered while you approached.

"God fucking dammit." Dick cursed, being left to grumble with his Piña Colada.

He looked at Jason, who was comfortably leaned back with a smirk.

"How are you so chill about this?!" Dick asked irritated.

"You'll see." Jason grinned.

You walked towards them with a smile, the drink you'd just ordered at the bar in your hand. Roy put up his most charming face and quickly cleared his throat.

"Hello there, sweethea-"

his entire face dropped when you placed a hand on Jason's shoulder and pressed a kiss to his lips. His hands instinctively went to rest on your hips, giving them a gentle squeeze.

"Hi, baby." You greeted sweetly.

"Hey there, ladybird." Jason grinned, glancing at Roy and Dick.

The redheads jaw was on the floor, speechless while his gaze flitted between you and his best friend. Dick was just as shocked, but quickly broke out of it.

"THAT’S LADYBIRD?!" He yelled, earning harsh stares from other guests.

Dick quieted down with an apologetic smile and leaned closer to Jason.

"You fucking asshole! Why didn't you do anything? You let us say all those things-" at the realization Dick went pale.

"He's gonna beat our asses." Roy mumbled, still staring at you and Jason.

"... Fuck."

You just stood there dumbfounded while Jason had a grin on his face that made a shiver run down Roy's spine.

"What things?" You asked, you brows furrowed in confusion.

Jason pulled you into his lap, resting one of his hands on your thigh.

"Don't worry about it, angel." He said softly, pecking your cheek.

"How the hell did you end with such a charity case as Jason?" Roy asked bluntly, slumped in his seat, defeated.

"Excuse me?" You sputtered with a scoff.

"That's a lot of nerve coming from someone looking like an affair baby." You shot back.

Dick burst out laughing, Jason cackling along side him while Roy only stared at you.

"And she's feisty? Fuuuuuuck.." He whined.

"Nice to meet you, ladybird." Dick gave you a friendly smile and nod, still wiping the tears from his eyes.

You returned the smile before leaning in to whisper into Jason's ear.

"Is the rest of your family also like this?"

"Like what?"

"Loudmouth assholes." You replied, staring straight at Roy who looked like you just slapped his mother.

Jason laughed, throwing his head back when he saw Roy's face.

"Ah, no. Some of them are quiet assholes."

Dick scoffed, immediately defending himself and his siblings with big hand gestures.

You chuckled as you watched.

"Don't be sad, carrot top," Jason began, giving Roy's shoulder a squeeze, "You couldn't handle her if you tried."

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Jason loves fat girls. Argue with the wall <3

Let me know what you think! 😚🩷

More of Jason and others -> 💫

《DC Taglist》: @allysunny @arkhamknightscxnt @gaozorous-rex-blog @hellonhells-x

Comment to be added 🐝🫧

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[nativegirltapes]

⋆ ˚ ꩜ ｡ ⋆୨୧˚ what happens when sweetheart!reader invites drew over after their recent movie together finally wraps . . .

pairing: sweetheart!reader x drew starkey

warnings/notes: smut but not much until the end. also new reader yay <3 hoping to get her moodboard out tmr 🎀 lmk your thoughts sexies

the tension between you and drew was undeniable, to the both of you and the rest of the world; your friends, his friends, and both your guys' fans. it's not like you guys tried to hide it though, you were both constantly staring at each other whenever in the same room, especially during interviews, or the way you would both subconsciously have your hands all over each other, or maybe the way you'd both find a way to bring each other up when the other wasn't around.

and now that the movie you both starred in was wrapped, you both felt some weight fall from your shoulders. drew didn't feel like much of a pervert since you weren't exactly his costar anymore. and you didn't feel like you had to suppress the way your body reacted every time he got too close to you.

you hated how much you liked him, he made your stomach do literal flips. the feeling was mutual though, drew adored you in a way he hadn't anyone else. "nice place you got." drew said as you showed him around your apartment. "thanks." you stopped when you made it to your bedroom, drew looked around, your bedroom making him realize how much he really didn't know about you. "so, this is where the lucky guys get to come huh?"

"guess so," you plopped on your bed, letting your dress ride up your thighs. you'd be lying if you said that you didn't have intentions of getting somewhere with drew tonight after inviting him over alone. and it would also be a lie if drew wasn't hoping that you had intentions tonight, because he definitely did.

"am i one of those lucky guys?" drew questioned as he sat next to you on your bed. "are you?" you questioned him back, flashing him a little smile. "can i be?"

you shot out of your bed, standing up in front of him. "don't know. can you?" you teased him. drew chuckled, you were playing hard to get and it surprised him. you were the shy type yes, but there was something playful and even a little daring about you tonight and drew loved it. "do you like messing with me?" drew looked up at you as you still stood in front of him. it took a lot for him to not pull you down on his lap and kiss you. a lot actually. "maybe."

"we both know you want me just as bad as i want you right now," drew's hand fiddled with the end of your dress. "and what makes you so sure about that. hm?" you took a seat on his lap, his arm wrapped around your body, they felt even bigger than they looked. "i don't think you would've let me in your bedroom if you didn't." he said. and he was right, he was absolutely right and you didn't like it.

but clearly not enough because before you knew it, you were both tearing your clothes off each other and you were riding him. "fuck, i'm obsessed with you." drew said squeezing your ass as you bounced on his cock. his tight grip making you squeal a little, you knew it would leave marks but that was the last thing you were worried about. "you're so fucking perfect." you watched as drew's chest rose and fell at a certain pace. "cmon, talk to me." he begged.

your whole body felt so good that all you literally could do was let out moans and squeals, "s' good." you whispered, your eyes instinctively shut from the amount of pleasure. "wanna fuck you all the time." you said.

"yeah? you can baby. i'm all yours." drew responded. it was your first time having sex, but holy, the way your pussy felt wrapped around him; he swore he'd never even want to fuck anyone else ever again. "knew you weren't that shy."

you felt your cheeks get red at his comment, "m'gonna come!" you fell into his chest, heavy breaths leaving your lips as you collapsed on top of him. your manicured nails gripped onto his big arms, "me too." drew's breath hitched. you laid on him as you both caught your breath, "soooo, i am one of those lucky guys?"

[r3d-ca9]

OHG HI HI HELLO HELLO

1. Because of Bloodwing and Talon, I usually associate him with vultures!! Something like a bearded vulture, usually. Or other birds of prey.

2. I'd make him a necklace or draw him something!! He's not used to receiving gifts, and isn't too picky, so he'd like pretty much anything I got for him. But a handmade item would mean a LOT more to him, for sure.

3. Exploring Pandora, poking around for secrets and loot. Although if we don't have the energy for that, nothing beats catching up on some drama shows. 😫

4. Y'know.....we uh. Don't really have a house. WHOOPS. I'm gonna say...he'd love any chores involving taking care of the birds, of course. S tier chore. And...just like me, he'd probably HATE dishes. Because dishes suck ass.

5. Oh hell yeah. Dude's basically a stunt driver. If you can successfully survive driving on Pandora for any period of time, you get an A+ from me.

6. Fuckin...hawk screech. You know, the one people always use for eagle noises, even though it's not an eagle sound LMAO.

7. He hates being online. It's stressful. It's dumb. He hates the shit other people post. BUT....maybe, yeah.

8. Mmmmmmm....I wanna say...no...I mean, maybe at some point he did? But he's too cynical for that sort of thing now. Besides...it's more satisfying to view relationships as this thing you work really hard for, rather than some magic that happens out of your control. Soulmates may not be real. But it doesn't mean love is any less powerful.

9. Super casual like, the same way I do everything LMAO. "Hey guys. This is my boyfriend. And these are his birds. Ain't that fuckin' sick? Hell yeah."

10. 👀 cough cough

11. They both seem cool and intimidating, are actually enormous nerds. 👉😎👉

12. It's a toss up between red and green!

13. Also pretty casually! Although. A bit more shy about it. They'd probably know already, or have suspicions, and then be like "I FUCKING KNEW IT"

14. Okay, see...he'd. He'd wanna say something that he thinks is cute. Which isn't a lot of things, maybe a baby bird or some shit. But the OBVIOUS answer is a skag, because I'm very dog.

15. Chocolate. Anyone who knows me at all knows that chocolate is the way to my heart. (Also jerky.)

16. We don't really do pet names? At least, I...haven't really thought of any decent ones. Probably a simple "babe", I guess?? (SORRY MORDY, THE CUTE AND CRINGE PET NAMES ARE RESERVED FOR MY IRL HUSBAND 😤😤😤)

17. 👀👀 COUGH COUGH ............ nah i'm messin', he really loves just chilling!!! Life on Pandora is chaotic, messy, and stressful...any chance to just sit and do something low-key is always appreciated.

18. Acts of service, for sure! Helping me solve problems, getting stuff for me, comforting me, he just likes checking on me and making sure I'm doing well!!

19. My winning personality 🫡

20. GRAH, I don't know. I guess he likes how resilient I can be, and how even in the face of stress and danger, I still try to crack jokes and break the tension for the benefit of those around me. He has a hard time seeing the brighter side of life sometimes, and so do I, but I'll be DAMNED if I'm just gonna sit by and let despair swallow me up.

21. Oh my HEART. I don't think he's much of an artist, but I will fold it up and keep it in my wallet forever, no matter what it looks like. <3

22. Mordy doesn't really like eating, so no. He only eats what he has to, so I would never try to snatch any snacks from him, tbh. I am actively throwing protein bars at him.

23. Lol. Red. ❤️

F/O Ask Game!!

A list of questions to answer about your f/o!! You guys can just go down the list and answer them all (I'd love to see it!!!) in a reblog, orrr you can reblog and have others ask you these questions in your inbox! Have fun!! PR.OSHI.P, NOT FOR YOU!

What animal does your f/o remind you of?

If you got your f/o a gift, what would you get them? 

What is your favorite hobby to think about doing with your f/o?

What chores would your f/o do around the house? Are there any they REALLY dislike?

Would you trust your f/o to drive a car?

What kind of ringtone or notification sound would you have for your f/o?

Would your f/o fight someone online? 

Does your f/o believe in soulmates?

How would you introduce your f/o to your friends? How do you think that would go? 

What's the first scenario that comes to your head when you think of being with your f/o?

What dynamic would you use to describe you and your f/o? 

What color do you associate with your f/o? 

How would your f/o introduce you to those they care about? How do you think that would go?

What animal do you remind your f/o of?

What would your f/o get you for Valentine's day, if anything? 

What does your f/o call you in their head? What do they call you aloud/to others?

What does your f/o like doing with you the most? 

How does your f/o show their love best? 

What's your f/o's favorite feature of yours?

What're your f/o's favorite personality traits of yours?

If your f/o drew you, how would you describe the art piece?

Does your f/o share food with you?

What color would your f/o associate you with?

What?? Who's tagging their friends again?- not me... I just really wanna see yalls answers. Formal invitation lest you become worried I don't wanna see it. @jpeg-indulgence @starshakez @moxanji-real @frankys-wife @katsenbergs-soulmate @katanahusband @fl0ralsxgar @one-winged-dreams AND LITERALLY ANYONE WHO SEES THIS.

[tiki-was-here]

Billy Butcher x Male Reader [Part Two]

Word count: 1.4k

Somebody sedate me ofmggg. Decided i don't want to hear billy talk rn so i simply gagged him. Lowkey wanna throw rocks at his house and make him cry (our relationship is complicated rn).

Idk how this turned into a male reader when it was supposed to be gender neutral. Oh well. Also he drools a lot in this idk why I did that.

[Part One]

You didn’t think, you just acted. You grabbed him by the collar, yanking him towards you, and kissed him hard. It was angry and messy, a collision of teeth and tongue that left you both breathless.

His hands found your waist, pulling you closer as he kissed you back with equal intensity. It was like all the anger and frustration had boiled over, spilling out into something raw and electric.

Your hand found its way to his throat, squeezing down hard enough that you knew there would be an ugly mark in a few hours. Your knuckles turned white with effort but that didn’t stop Butcher from leaning into your grip. Your kiss long forgotten as he chose to pant harshly in your neck. What a slut. Still, you wouldn’t get distracted so easily.

“Open up” you muttered, before unceremoniously shoving two of your fingers down his throat. You didn’t even have to tell him what to do, the brit immediately sucking like his life depended on it. Eyes rolling back and drool already rolling down his chin. It was always messy when you were with him but you weren’t complaining.

While he was making himself useful sucking on your fingers like they were the best cock he’d had in years, your other hand snaked its way down his front.

A wet patch had already started to form and he was unbelievably hard. You palmed him lightly, eliciting a muffled moan from his lips before eventually making your way to his hole.

Your fingers tentatively prodded his entrance, and to your surprise, he was wet.

“Such a slut for me aren’t you Billy” you cooed at him, thrusting your fingers in and out of his mouth softly. His entire shirt was now soaked with spit. “You couldn’t wait for me to come take care of you?”

The only response you got was a muffled “fuck you”

You chuckled “ I guess it’s only fair for me to have my turn now isn’t it?”

You grabbed his hair roughly and threw him to the ground, not giving a chance to breathe before pouncing on him, pin his thighs beneath yours, effectively trapping him against the ground.Butcher struggled against you, teeth bared in faux disgust.

You knew if he really wanted him off you he could easily do so, no one who's really struggling would arch up into your shallow grinds with such poorly hidden desperation. He wouldn't be propping himself up on his knees to better help you pull his boxers over the swell of his ass.

Shoving them in his mouth to keep him quiet, you decided to begin what you came here to do.

Because you felt like being a little bit nice today since Billy was being surprisingly quiet (and because you didn't want to hear him complaining about it the next day) you decided to finally remove your fingers from his mouth and got to work prepping him.

Your fingers entered him with little resistance. Starting with two you slowly worked your way deeper, purposely avoiding that bundle of nerves you knew Butcher was eager for you to find.

Just a few seconds of teasing got you frustrated whines from the man beneath you, squirming in his place underneath you.

He was so cute like this, face flushed red and tears gathering on his eyelids.

“You know Billy, sometimes I wonder how the rest of the team would look at you if they knew how much a whore their ‘beloved leader’ is”. You pulled your fingers out of him, instead replacing it with the tip of your cock, which was now red and weeping from the lack of attention.

“Could you imagine it?” you teased pushing into him slowly,”Standing in front of Homelander knowing that I had my dick inside you just moments earlier?” You felt him clench at that…what a whore.Your thrusts got faster, deeper, as all the frustration you've felt bubbling up inside you came (lol) up to the surface.

“You’d like that wouldn't you? Fighting him with my cum still dripping out of you?”. He frantically shook his head no as he ‘screamed’ what were surely muffled expletives from behind his makeshift gag. But you didn't need to listen to his answer to feel the way he clenched pathetically around your cock. You stored that info away for later, teasing him about Homelander was fun, but today was about him taking what you gave him, and you getting what you needed.

Your thrust reached a brutal pace, muffled moans and whines bouncing off of the thin walls of the motel. You could feel the pleasure building up in the pit of your stomach, and you knew that you were close. Reaching your hand under Billy’s hips, you stroked his cock at an unrelenting pace, desperate to make him come before you.

You wanted to record this moment, tears flowing freely down his face, the wet smack of your balls hitting his ass the only thing coming close to being louder than his wails. It was a wonder as to how he still had his boxers in his mouth, the poor material now darkened with drool. Still, as Billy reached his peak, you silently thanked it as it was surely the only thing keeping you from being interrupted with a noise complaint.

The brunette seemed to be in his own world, his tough guy persona long gone as he shook silently beneath you, his softening cock trapped between the floor and his cum stained stomach. You followed close behind, soft grunts escaping your lips as you emptied your load into him, before promptly collapsing next to him, chests heaving in unison.

-----------------

You knelt beside the tub, running your fingers through the warm water, testing the temperature.

Billy sat on the closed toilet lid, arms crossed over his chest, watching you with a tired sort of curiosity. His usual sharp, biting demeanor was dulled,

“You gonna sit there all night or actually get in?” you asked, glancing over your shoulder.

He huffed, shaking his head. “Bossy little thing, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, well, someone’s got to take care of you since you clearly won’t.”

He gave you a look but didn’t argue. With a sigh, he stood, peeling off his shirt and stepping into the bath. The water sloshed as he settled in, leaning back against the porcelain with a long exhale. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, and for once, he looked peaceful.

You sat on the edge of the tub, trailing your fingers through the water. “You can’t keep doing this, Billy.”

His eyes cracked open. “Doing what?”

“Losing it like that,” you said, voice soft but firm. “Tearing people apart just because you’re angry. Lashing out at me when you don’t know what else to do with yourself.”

His jaw tightened, but he didn’t look away.

“You want me on your side?” you continued. “Then you have to trust me. And you have to keep yourself in check.”

A muscle in his cheek twitched. He looked like he wanted to argue, wanted to push back just for the sake of it. But instead, he let out a long breath, staring at the water. “Not exactly my strong suit, love.”

You dipped your hand in the bath, letting the warm water slip between your fingers. “I know. But I also know you’re not as heartless as you pretend to be.”

Billy scoffed, but there was no real bite to it. “That so?”

“Yeah,” you said simply. “Because if you were, I wouldn’t be sitting here.”

A beat of silence passed between you, thick with unspoken things. He swallowed, shifting slightly, like the conversation was making him physically uncomfortable. You could see it—he wanted to apologize, admit that he’d gone too far. But Billy Butcher wasn’t the kind of man who could just say sorry. It wasn’t in his nature.

Instead, he reached out, grabbing your wrist and pulling you closer. His thumb brushed over the back of your hand, a small, unspoken gesture of remorse.

You sighed, shaking your head with a soft smile. “That your way of saying you feel bad?”

“Maybe,” he muttered.

“Wow. Huge moment for you,” you teased. “Almost like an actual human emotion.”

He gave you a flat look but didn’t let go of your hand. “Don’t push your luck.”

You squeezed his fingers gently. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Billy grunted, leaning back again, eyes slipping shut. But he didn’t let go of your hand—not even when the water started to cool.

[tomorrowsgardennc]

market update // national seed swap day 2025

geeeeez i have so many notifications here, i guess i really haven't been on here in a hot minute. it has been nuts prepping for my first *major* seed swap, and it legit was a major one. but now that it has been a week, i think i'm finally starting to catch up with things. but i want to share with y'all before i forget all my mental notes and stories!!

i personally took so very few photos, because after 5 minutes in i was SWAMPED!! there was a line the entire 2 hours of the swap, and at the end of the market we had to tape off the seed swap portion in order to pack up! i was genuinely only expecting a steady stream of curious people, but it was shoulder to shoulder people, courtiosuly helping one another find varieties of this or that and everyone talking and asking questions!

now for setup... i had myself, my farmer mama (sooo happy she was able to make it!!), a local community garden captain who i asked to volunteer so he could promote his community and network a bit himself, another fellow plant vendor at the market, and one other volunteer who knew nothing about gardening but LOVES to organized. and y'all... i could not have asked for a better team to help me. farmer mama helped me keep my panic attacks away from so many people in one place... the community garden captain helped put a smile on everyone's face and giving the regulars new info, the fellow vendor was acting like she was a salesman and got so many seeds flying off the tables by answering sooooo many questions, and the last volunteer kept all the tables nice and tidy throughout the swap and refilled when space opened up. it was truly amazing.

we had a total of 25 feet of table space, and every table was jam packed with seeds. i brought approx. 1,375 seed packets (+/- a few dozen between added donos the morning of and me shipping some out the week before). but the thing is... the tables never got empty because of the amount we also had donated back! we had books and nursery containers too. i left with more books than what i arrived with, and all the nursery containers were gone by end of the swap. which is good because i don't need any more of those 😅

i think, with the seeds donated day of, that there were more seeds saved personally than open seed packets than i expected. now, sadly, i'm going to have to get the word out that labeling seeds as "pumpkin" is... well... not all too helpful for anyone. but i have 350ish days to get that word out before the next seed swap. and i plan to! just... need to wind down from this event first, mentally.

ok so, i know that part of my autism is me legit not being able to grasp certain concepts of emotions... even with hubs best efforts i still can't understand empathy. but i also... ok sorry this is hard to explain so it'll be written poorly... but a ton of people kept congratulating me??? saying what i did was a "true accomplishment" and i "knocked this out of the part" and "you succeeded!!" but... this wasn't about me???? i didn't do this for me. i did this for everyone who needs food. for those who have been too scared to try and start seeds before. who have tried before but trying again was too high of an investment. i didn't do this for my benefit, nor for marketing, or anything. the community garden captain gained more social media followers than me, and that's EXACTLY what i wanted!! one woman, dressed as though she was just barely getting by, legitimately broke out into tears when she picked up one envelope, dug through her purse and asked how much and i said "everything on these tables are free!" she said thank you a few times before she couldn't hold it in and grabbed a few more packets and left. congratulate HER on having the means go grow when it obviously means so much to her! congratulate ao many others who now won't have to worry about how they're going to afford a garden this year when bills are so tight! i don't know... maybe i'm missing something. just... i don't need a pat on the back for helping people. this should be the norm, bar minimum, not an accomplishment.

...

anyway... notes for next year:

- have a better donation system. turns out a lot of people were putting the seeds on the table that they brought, and nobody realized it, so i couldn't properly thank those people when they did.

- make sure to get more companies to donate. i had 7 companies donate, but renee's garden donated over 600 seed packets alone while every other company was, like, 50 maximum. we are going to need quite a lot more next year...

- still debating on switching my company to non-profit or not. i've talked to an "official non-profit consultant" at the local community college but she didn't really answer my questions about my type of business. i'm definitely not doing any of this for money, but i need more funding if i want to make seed swaps not only bigger but in more locations, both in person and online. and i have soooo many ideas on how to do so. i just need to figure out the best way to do so, legally. i'm just scared of messing some sort of legal paperwork or taxes up when i switch to non-profit.

- try and get the same volunteer team. i could not have done it without them.

- grow. grow grow grow and grow.

that last note is for you, too.

just grow 🌱

[orangez3st]

Sunshines & Birthdays

Marshal Commander Cody & GN!Jedi!Reader 

Summary: You just can't miss his supposed birthday. Rating: General Tags: fluff, birthday gifts, full blown wholesomeness, reader is kenobi's padawan and commander in the 212th, reader is besties with cody (who wouldn't wanna?) Word Count: 854 A/N: Ashamed to admit I nearly miss Cody Day!!! 2-2-24 wasn’t the time I've existed on this side of Tumblr yet, so please have this special anniversary drabble from me!

"Codyyyyy!" you giggle as you run into him in one of many corridors of the Negotiator, "Happy birthday!"

"Hnn," the 212th Marshal Commander drawls helplessly as you smoosh his cheeks together. You flash your teeth at him before letting go and watch his baffled expression with amusement. "But... I don't have birthdays, sir."

You snort. "Oh, don't be silly," you wave at him, and cheerfully continue, practically throwing your arms out, "You do! Second day of Kelona! Which is today!"

Cody blinks at you.

"Did you just take the first two of my serial numbers and make it up as my birth date and month?"

Being his commanding officer's padawan, watching your face fall into a mixture of sadness, disappointment, and embarrassment strikes fear in him – it's as if he's responsible for your reactions, too. You're beloved by the 212th. Was he being too hard on you, even if he meant it slightly as a joke?

"What, you don't do that?" You can feel your cheeks fluster. "Boil told me all of you do."

As if cued, the devil marches around the intersection with a cone-shaped pink party hat on top of his head, the elastic band pressing under his chin. "Sir," Boil nods in your direction with an impressive amount of seriousness, "Have a good one."

Raising a toast with what you imagine is some citrus juice, Waxer follows behind him with the identical hat, but in cyan. "Happy birthday, Commander."

You grin widely at their act, pleased with their instigation and just recent participation. Cody stares on until they disappear from view, dumbfounded, probably open-mouthed and frowning which you can't see from your angle.

Your mirthful giggle returns his attention back to you, his expression softens.

"Not me. But... Thank you," Cody says almost sheepishly. His hand flies to the back of his neck, and you know you had him. Still with his respectful yet casual tone, he meets your gaze with a small, appreciative smile. "I'm aware how precious birthdays are for natborns. Really appreciate your notion to treat me as such, Commander."

"Then you know how we natborns celebrate our birthdays – with presents!"

"Yeah," he nods absentmindedly, but snaps his attention back to you yet again in alarm, "Wait, don't tell me–"

"Ta-da!" You not so gently shove your wrapped gift bundle into his chest. "Open it! It's from me."

Anticipation bubbles in your chest as you thoroughly watch his expression. His subtle glance at you that knows you're not taking it back, his gloved hands gingerly pulling the neat ribbon and peeling the flimsi wraps with swirly orange pattern, and his widened eyes in full blown wonder and shock as he lifts your gift to view.

You smile fondly. "I love that you have this sunburst design so I embroidered it there." You subtly point to the intricate design of your handmade craft; embroidered sunburst pattern on a plain white sweatshirt that matches the one on his armor involving a massive spread of orange tones. "I would've knitted the entire thing from scratch had I have more time, but I guess I'm used to improvisation."

"Well, uh, hope you love it, Cody," you decide nearly hesitantly, but you shrug it away, already moving to the other direction. "That's all for now. See you again in briefing!"

Cody is stunned, rubbing the pad of his thumb tenderly over the beautiful embroidery. You hope he would wear it outside demanding military duties – on a casual day out with his brothers or even to his sleep in his cot. His lack of response almost saddens you, but you know you need to give some time to someone who's never been gifted before.

You only make about five steps until he calls back at you, "Wait, sir!" You turn around, the same giddy smile on your face, and watch his eyebrows pull into a soft frown. "Do I, uh, wanna know what that means?"

"You think we'd go through your birthday without throwing a party?" You smugly place your hands on your hips. "And at Master Kenobi's behest! So that means a direct order from your superior officer!"

You skip away again, butterflies swarming your insides in fond warmth of friendship, but then you pause when you hear Cody's unmistakably hurried steps.

"Commander, wait!"

Cody skids into a halt in front of you, nearly running into you in the same manner you did to him. His gift from you still clutched in his hand, your breath huffed out of your lungs with a force as Cody pulls you into his chest and buries his face into your shoulder.

"Thank you." His quiet voice sounds suspiciously hoarse and wet in your ear. "I... I can't say it enough. This means a lot. To me."

Smiling tearfully yourself, you wind your arms fully around him and press both of your bodies closer for its warmth. "You're the very best Marshal Commander we could've asked for," you whisper to his ears only – in admiration of the qualities he stashes for himself as a man. You smile and bury your face into his shoulder. "Happy birthday, Cody."

Taglist: @yoursrosie @hellfiresky @msmeredithrose

A/N: You can request for x reader in my askbox! If you're interested in my clone x reader oneshots you can sign up as well to be tagged of future works. (Link provided)

[orthodoxchristianity]

Heartbreak: the art of letting go

This one is a bit personal for me, but I thought to share since I know many other people may be feeling the same way. Please read and share any advice or experience you may have, it would be greatly appreciated. God-bless!

The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

Psalm 34:18

Heartbreak. It isn't easy. It's even harder being stuck in between two thoughts. Firstly obsessing over what could have been, thinking should I have said this, or should I have said that. Why did I not do this or why did I not tell him that? It's hard to let go of the expectations in your mind or the plans you made that you wanted to share, all the little daily updates you sent waiting to hear back from him. But secondly, as a Christian, my understanding that God does what is best for us stays in my mind. The knowledge that God takes care of us even when we do not understand it. For He knows and sees far more than we will ever understand, and that is okay. Having trust in His timing and His plan for us is vital. I pray every day "God please remove anyone or anything that is not meant to be in my life", and then why do I get sad when God answers this prayer? Maybe I thought I knew him but clearly he was not meant to be in my life anymore, no matter how sad it may be now.

Taking it day by day is needed because in some moments I feel okay, but in other moments I remember how he looked and me and the lovely moments we shared. I know that one day I will look back on all the moments I shared with him and be at peace. I know that love is never wasted. But one thing is to know and another is to actually enact it. It seems to be like a separation between my head and my heart. My head acting rational and reminding myself to not let the enemy tell me lies, whereas my heart still holding onto the hope of what could have been.

I keep thinking why wasn't he the one Lord? Why couldn't he have been the one for me?

I know that it was done for a reason, that the Lord has bigger and better things in store for me. Perhaps this is simply a lesson. My time with him is brief in the grand scheme of life and of all the people and things I am yet to experience. But it is still hard to let go, even though I know it's the end, that's it.

Perhaps I wasn't ready or he wasn't, but either way it seems the timing was not right. As I pray every day, "All in God's timing".

I know that when the right person comes it will be in God's timing and it will be bring me peace, rather than anxiety. I understand that I probably am still holding onto him because of the inherent fear of being single. Seeing so many of my friends get into relationships easily and of course I am beyond happy for them but it is hard to not think oh when will the love of my life come? I guess this brings me back to the concept of patience and trusting in the Lord for His plans and timing is far better than mine. I feel like this society really pushes for moving and doing everything fast, whereas the Bible tells us:

"Love is patient, love is kind...Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NIV)

I harbour no anger or hatred towards him, for given the circumstances I can understand where he was coming from. I do, however, pray that he heals from anything that is holding him back. I pray for him to let go off anything from the past that is keeping him stuck emotionally. I pray he finds love and happiness.

I don't know if anyone else can relate to the feeling of 'intellectualising' my emotions. I try to solve them rather than feel. I have been trying to slow down and just let myself feel rather than simply keeping myself busy and giving myself no time to heal. I know there is a reason he came into my life, God is teaching me through this experience, so I need to slow down and feel my emotions.

If you are still reading thank you. I know heartbreak is a part of human life, it is something we all go through in various shapes or forms throughout our life. I hope this makes me stronger and I hope that you find peace and love and happiness. Whoever is reading, I hope you heal from any hurt and that the Lord blesses you abundantly in everything you do.

In Jesus' name,

Amen

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11, NKJV

[blackcatxmagic]

"Terpsichore...Kira..." Brook repeated, trying to figure out how Kira could be a nickname for that. Maybe it was an alias or something; this movie was sounding wilder and wilder the more they talked about it. Deciding not to worry about that now (it seemed like he'd be finding out soon anyway if River had anything to say about it), Brook refocused on his new friend, laughing at how forward he was. It was actually nice to see someone so sure of themselves (or at least pretending to be), and the attention was definitely flattering. "You like to flirt, don't you?" Brook asked, smirking at River. "It's okay, it's not a bad thing. Is this your way of asking if I want to watch the movie with you?" The answer would be yes, though Brook felt like River would find some way to persuade him even if he tried to say no.

As he continued listening to the other, Brook looked at him sternly, pretending to be perturbed. "Hey, I'm already past 40 you know," he said gruffly, but then Brook started to laugh; he knew River hadn't meant anything by what he had said. "40 was actually my benchmark for when I'd have my life straightened out, and, well...I'm about to be 42, so I've missed the mark a little." Or possibly a lot - Brook's life was pretty far off from what he thought it would be at this point. "Let's just say we're both still young enough to find out bliss," Brook decided. "I guess everyone is unless they're dead." He just hoped they wouldn't always be searching for it. Grinning at River, Brook replied coyly, "It's an okay outcome, sure."

"It's really nice of you to help your aunt," Brook said as they continued along. "I hope she appreciates it." He hated the thought of someone taking advantage of a kind soul like River. It made him sad to hear the other talk about being lonely, and the truth was that Brook could empathize. "I've been spending most of my nights alone too," he replied, realizing that that was a sort of loaded comment to make, some unspoken suggestion just below the words, but really Brook didn't mean them in any particular way. "It's been hard for me to really find my place," Brook went on somberly, not realizing how much this bothered him until now. "I don't really think I'd found my place back in Salem either, but I'd been so busy all the time that it hadn't really bothered me. Here though...I think about it a lot more." Suddenly feeling a little melancholy, Brook sighed, apologizing, "I'm sorry. I'm really bringing the mood down."

River nodded "She is, shes actually the muse Terpsichore, but simply goes by Kira..." They rambled and then stopped themselves again, getting too excited. "Well, I'm always game for movie nights..." They mused, even if they knew that they were unlikely to pay attention in the company of such a hot guy- though they for once kept their lips zipped at that admission. "I can of course, I'm extremely flexible in what I can show off..." They purred, unable to help themselves. The witch sighed "But it's only 9 years away from 40 with literally nothing to show, it's crazy" The blonde whined at the thought, though they then shrugged it off- such was their nature. "There's nothing stopping you from finding the right one, it should never be based on age, what matters is that you continue to enjoy yourself, at least indulge in the pleasure of others from time to time, hm?" They mused, a small smirk on their lips as they spoke. "I'd like to think that's a very excellent outcome..." They mused, their tone still flirtatious, unable to help themselves with it. "Hm, perhaps..." They chuckled, giving a playful grin at them "It's mostly about reading people in their expressions, trick words, making them express their desires to you subconsciously and then you pick up on them" They explained. "Oh my aunt is a real tough gal, I'm mostly here to just help with groceries, fixing up her home...You know, just an extra set of hands. Plus, free room and board for me to save up for the big leagues" They joked. "Well, I'm not sure. It's been lonely I must admit, I'm used to sharing a bed with people either nightly, or for short bursts....I've had no actual action in this sleepy little town" The snickered, finding it easy to be honest with Brooke. "But I can admire the quaint, pretty nature of the town?. You should totally go and meet your family!" They then chided playfully. "I'm glad you have your place here though"

[sysig]

Growing closer than expected (Patreon)

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

men are so disappointing in so many ways i know i shouldn't expect most of them to be dignified humans but it's crazy. i need to get over this guy he's making my sense of self crumble even faster than it usually does. like he's just so unlike my usual type and i'm pretty convinced he's stupid and slutty and not discerning whatsoever. not to mention boring like i know even if i did have a chance with him he wouldn't Get Me at all so it's a bigger waste of time that usual and i'm actually pretty tired of men in general and definitely tired of parasocial relationships because they drive me insane for months typically. thankfully it's only been like 2 weeks if that at this point. idk. sigh. i know literally virtually nothing abt him as a person and ofc liking any public figure who you know nothing about is only setting yourself for heartbreak and disappointment to begin with bc you already know nothing is gonna come from it but. in a way it's almost addictive to become obsessed with someone and not be looked at with the same level of scrutiny. i don't think anyone in real life would ever try to get to know me as much as i try to get to know people who i'll never even meet. lmao! but that's the thing... idk... i have a lot of love in my heart and it consumes me and i reject my pride usually when i'm into someone. i want to know more... like VORACIOUSLY consuming anything with information about them involved simply because i think knowing someone is a very deep form of love but of course you can never truly know anyone. not completely. and that scares me i think which is why it's always probably been easier for me to never really TRY to be with anyone or have anything real. idk. this turned into me psychoanalyzing myself real quick but SOMEONE needs to bc i need to understand what the fuck is wrong w me.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[manasurge]

bleh

[soupblr]

[lord-squiggletits]

I know there are as many religious good guys as there are religious bad guys in IDW, but I think I pinned down the reason why it feels like the most prominent religious figures are all bad guys and it's pretty much due to the worldbuilding.

Maybe my memory of the comics is just really bad, but the religious worldbuilding in IDW is....kind of trash honestly. I'm not sure there's a single religion or religious custom that doesn't exist solely to further the plot along. Like, it's one thing for the Camiens to worship the Primes and that causes a lot of stuff in exRID/OP, but what does that worship actually look like? What are their holidays, customs, religious texts? What about "spectralism" which basically the only thing we know about is the Festival of the Lost Light and some hippie color coding and aura shit? Like sure, there are characters who are religious and their beliefs come into play sometimes, but it honestly feels (especially in MTMTE) more like their religiousness only exists when it's relevant to the plot and it's just kinda. Disappointing eh. Lacking in worldbuilding. Plus the more religious a character is the more it's written as their entire personality and the driving force making them evil so it just kinda made me cringe to read honestly.

[writhe]

dude i hate long workdays so much when i leave and i feel dysregulated and so separated from any rhythm of the natural world. it was beautiful today, and now the sun is going down, and i’ve no ‘real’ interaction with people (as myself vs. ‘Working With Public’ guy) and the day starts and ends alone and without (barring Halliwell) any genuine or meaningful social exchange. usually get home and feel too uncomfortably hungry (even if i’d packed a sufficient amount of food for the day) to know when i’m full 

i’ve been trying to challenge myself on what i call ‘work’ or don’t because i realized i was only calling my day job ‘work’ when i spend most of my time alone, when home, working on shop stuff or commissions or something otherwise related to money or productivity (which i guess can also include housework) 

i’ve tethered myself to working (or productivity) so much that i’ve been very neglectful of any hobbies that allow me to rest. i prioritize active hobbies (ie, hiking) first because i love them but also partly because halliwell needs the engagement, partly because i start feeling terrible if i don’t spend at least a good part of the day out of the house, and partly because it’s easier to keep doing things when i’m just doing them. i have a hard time sleeping if i’m not completely exhausted 

i try to force myself to ‘do nothing’ and i’ve gotten a little better at it, i can bake something for friends, i can sit or lay down and read for a while now, but most of the time i find myself in some sort of nagging doom scroll, telling myself i will close my phone and get on with heat setting or orders or finish or start a drawing or send an email etc etc etc. then i procrastinate because here is the LICK of downtime i’m allowing myself, here, on my phone. i don’t feel enriched by time spent this way, i mostly feel as if i’ve failed to start something and all the content i’ve idly glanced at somewhere in my mind half-stuck and not fully retrievable. it’s like smeared text. unflavored food. ruffage. it is unengaging yet inescapable. i’m not learning i’m just seeing everything until nothing is really novel, in a way that feels passive and dull

i want to do things that feel motivated by interest again, not money or deadlines. i don’t want to experience the world on the clock. i want to feel satisfied by curiosity and experimentation 

days like this make me feel so small. i’m tired and hot and it’ll be dark and buggy by the time i get there, but i think i am going to go to the woods and i think the mosquito bites i scratch will be the only proof i’m something living in the world today. i’ve spent the last few hours on my phone unable to make a decision, i feel under and over-stimulated. i wish i had someone to chat with. i wish i could spend more time alone in ways that were enriching to me. i wish we could all experience the world in ways we were meant to