#but it's not the crush that affected the friendship it was his mistreatment of my one of my best friends and him using us as therapists ish

[solitaryandwandering]

A Ramble: Love in the Big City Eps 1-2

I just watched episode 2 of Love in the Big City and I am... reeling. Cried when Kim Nam Gyu died, when Yeong and Mi Rae sang together at the wedding, cried at the crushing ending line. I loved the direction in these two episodes; one of the reasons I was super excited to watch this was because they're switching up the directors for each part. Such a cool way to signal transitions in Yeong's life. Now that I've seen the caliber Son Tae Gyum operated at I'm intrigued to see how direction will affect the next parts. Maybe I'll write up a thing about that in the end, but I'm hopeful others will as well! I am chomping at the bit to read the book, seriously!!

I have to mention first what a BALLSY move it was for them to open on Yeong's tryst with a man who was cheating on someone currently in the military. And he walks in the door, STILL IN UNIFORM. What a fucking slap in the face to hegemonic masculinity!!

After this first part what I am really lingering on are two things: queer loneliness and heteronormativity's relationship to misogyny. I'm just gonna put down my half-baked thoughts, I don't have the time or spoons to formulate coherent sentences haha

Though I saw Nam Gyu's death coming just based on vibes in the first episode, its impact wasn't lessened. Its significance didn't really hit me until I saw how empty his funeral was. Loneliness shaped his life - repression, liberation in meeting another gay man, falling in love with him way too fast, forming a dependent attachment, his desperation/obsessiveness in losing it so abruptly. He expressed his queerness in his photography, voyeuristic and seeking closeness with his subjects in the only way he felt was available to him. He had no friends, no relationships outside of his with Yeong. When Yeong breaks up with him and when he visits him drunk in ep 2, he says "falling in love is not a sin." To me, this shows just how removed from a loving community he has been, how nascent his queerness. He's still processing homophobia, it still influences every move he makes, everything he thinks. Clearly he has not had close relationships with other queers, where he may feel free to unburden himself. He falls back on heteronormative performance of romance, searching the best places for dates, not having anyone to ask. Knowing he's older makes this hurt more.

His story brought to mind the futility of AIDS-related deaths in the U.S., to be honest. I lost my gay uncle before I even knew him, and I know no one from his life. I know it's not a perfect parallel, but that funeral... this emptiness carries beyond one queer person's death. And Yeong's journey in these two episodes is about queer loneliness, of course. But his story is not as tragic as Nam Gyu's. He has (amazing) queer friends, and at one point had Mi Rae. He is much more connected to the queer community than Nam Gyu ever was. Despite his immaturity, Yeong is also much more familiar and comfortable with his queerness. I imagine this thread of self-actualization in the face of loneliness will continue in the rest of the show.

@twig-tea and @poetry-protest-pornography also wrote about queer loneliness in this show: here and here

And then we have Mi Rae, a vitally important relationship in Yeong's life, the love this part of the story is about. I met my best friend in college as well, so this part of the story was bringing up a lot of feelings too. To me, their friendship was as much about navigating heteronormativity as anything else, reflected in Yeong's reflection that "she learned that being a gay man sucks, and I learned that being a woman sucks just as much." Mi Rae is impacted by misogyny in every step of her character's journey: male classmates labeling her a slut and claiming her body for theirs, being groped, her challenges obtaining an abortion and mistreatment by a male doctor (where she literally claims her uterus back), her conflict with her parents (I'm assuming her mother had very rigid ideas of what a woman should be, based on her behavior at the wedding), hiding her past from her boyfriend, forced to defend herself when he questions why she lives with a man, shutting herself off from her relationship with Yeong (and thus rejecting her past) after the wedding. I looked up the status of abortion in Korea (a legal gray zone) and was reminded of how badly women there have it, which provided more context for her behavior.

Yeong must also traverse heteronormativity, which is what ultimately drives a wedge between the two and ends their friendship. In the beginning, their mutual rejection of heteronormative scriptures is what brings them together. He stands up for her against those male classmates, in an interaction steeped with assumptions of his heterosexuality. In rejecting her objectification he made himself a pariah for refusing to participate in normative masculinity. And their relationship continues thus, with her promising never to out him. She betrays him in a moment where she feels her participation in normative heterosexuality is threatened (and, indeed, it is a legitimately precarious position to be put in as a woman). Their brief reconciliation mainly consists of Yeong participating in a heterosexual ritual - he has no access to marriage in Korea. Her singing with him and letting go of her inhibitions for one last time was her goodbye to him and her ultimate acceptance of a more heteronormative life. One he can't participate in.

I hope that made any lick of sense. So looking forward to watching the next week. I am holding myself back from watching the next episodes right now. So hard.

[shuichi-iguchi-enjoyer]

My OC! I was gonna write a blurb on the side but I have more to say than I had room for so I’m just gonna type the info here. This is a long post, I’m very long-winded. Oh also have you ever made an OC as a joke but then you just kept adding like backstory and personality traits until they accidentally turned into a character you actually like? Yeah that’s what this is. Oh! And I forgot to say but left is one of her casual outfits and right is her villain costume

(TW: mentions of abuse, weapons, murder, I mean this is a LOV OC so yeah)

Name: Chloe (no last name)

Villain Name: Puppy Love

Quirk: Dog (Chihuahua). Grants her the abilities to smell anything within a 12 mile radius (including being able to know a lot about people from just their scent), fast reflexes, good running speed (only when running on all fours though), heightened hearing, as well as dog ears, a tail, big eyes, and sharp teeth. Basically, “she can do everything a dog can do”

Age: 20

Height: 4’8 (143 cm)

Birthday: April 28

Personality: hyper, bubbly, easily excited, naive, obedient, loyal, easily distracted, talkative, ditzy, probably annoyingly overly friendly

Place Of Birth: Los Angeles

Reason For Joining LOV: I’m not going to completely delve into her whole backstory, I’ll do that another time esp since I’m still working some things out, but she was a victim of an abusive pageant company (the pageants were sort of a front for something more sinister) that bought girls with “desirable quirks” and trained them to participate in pageants and then to eventually produce more girls with that quirk. She escaped that system when she accidentally murdered one of the leaders and was forced out of America for her own safety and went overseas and happened to find solace in the LOV, especially since there were heros that were involved in her mistreatment.

Weapon(s) Of Choice: gun because American lol, a long leash she uses as a lasso (mostly to retrieve items and on weak enemies as some enemies could definitely break it)

Likes: meat, hygiene/beauty products, dancing, singing, fashion, everything Y2k, celebrity culture, interesting-smelling things, physical affection, chewing on things (gum, food, toys, people, you name it)

Dislikes: loud noises, I’m trying so hard not to say cats rn it would just be funny, having “no purpose” (like not receiving orders to do something, she has a sort of complex about not having “a purpose” in life), running out of hygiene products especially hair products

What’s In Her Juicy Couture Bag?: her rhinestone-encrusted phone, makeup, comb, Victoria’s Secret body spray, pink bone squeaky toy, gum, beef jerky, dental floss (to get the beef jerky out of her teeth), a rhinestone-encrusted weed pen, an actual pen (one of the ones with a fluffy bit at the end) and small notebook (don’t try to read it, her handwriting is atrocious and if she catches you she’ll probably bite your hand off), cash, and a fake ID

Other Info: I sort of “ship” her with Spinner but like I also don’t think she’d be romantically interested in Spinner at first. For some reason I need her to have a hopeless crush on Dabi for a while while Spinner pines for her lmao. She’d be besties with Spinner, though, and would insist on cuddling with him and stuff which I think would drive him crazy (in a… good way? I think). Eventually she’ll realize that Dabi is an asshole and hates her (although I think she’d be able to sense it all along but just not care for a while) and that the high level of friendship she feels for Spinner has slowly turned into loving him. Idk why my aromantic ass comes up with these cheesy scenarios but yeah lol. Also she gives Toga and Magne Y2k makeovers and they have like girl nights sometimes. I imagine she’s so naive and friendly that the rest of the LOV have to specifically order her NOT to go up to their enemies all like “HI I’M CHLOE WHAT’S YOUR NAME?!?! :3” and she definitely said that exact line to every single one of them at some point while getting up in their face. Most of the LOV have likely never had someone willingly get so close to them (especially Spinner and Shigaraki omg though Shigaraki probably wants to turn her to dust while Spinner’s just a blushing mess)

Ok this post is already way too long so I’m gonna cut it off there bye lol

[the-crow-binary]

Question abt Benedict: we know that Trevor had met Hector centuries ago. My knowledge of CoD is quite rusty but i do wonder how that could affect him. Even if knowledge of Hector is lost due to time or bc it wasn't recorded, i still wonder what would happen if Benedict or Juste found some old lost personal journal of Trevor talking him and having them see an example of a good intentioned devil forgemaster.

omg an ask about my boy always love to see it

Ohoho you think Hector's story would be very inspiring for them and give Benedict hope but HAH ! NOPE. (i mean, not completely)

So, let's imagine Trevor wrote everything he knew and learned about Hector (and let's imagine it includes some things about Rosaly, because i like the idea of Hector talking about her to Trevor while he's recovering. Maybe even... make parallels with how she healed him). And let's establish both Juste and Benedict founds it at one point (Benedict when he was around 13, and Juste... well, idk, but after he met with him again. The same day. Btw they definitely fought). Now to their INTERPRETATIONS of the story, because they would be rather different. :3

Benedict would at first be very excited and happy, because omg !! My ANCESTOR was FRIEND with a DEVIL FORGEMASTER ?? AND HE DIDN'T HATE HIM ?? He would even share his discovery to the family, who would, of course, reject him nonetheless. Even claim that he's lying about their respectful ancestor, or that he interpreted things wrong. So he's already crushed enough, but then he goes back to reading the story... and is absoluted devastated by what he reads. Hector had RENOUNCE his powers, that he HIMSELF deemed as being "cursed". Making his friendship with Trevor more of a "we became friends because you decided to change" story than a "we became friends even though you're a devil forgemaster because i saw you can do good" story. BASICALLY, THE STORY IS GIVING REASON TO HIS FAMILY, BOTH FROM TREVOR'S PERSPECTIVE, AND THE DEVIL FORGEMASTER'S HIMSELF. WHY DON'T THEY COME BACK FROM THE DEAD TO PUNCH HIM IN THE GUTS THEMSELVES ?? WOULD BE LESS PAINFUL.

So Benedict throws the journal to the side, never to open it again. When he fled the family's home, they probably sealed his room without daring looking inside of it. But Juste would, eventually, maybe because what happened with Maxim woke up something in him that he didn't want to think about for years. And that's when he would find the journal.

And HIS interpretation of the thing is more bittersweet, it gives him hope, but also regrets. It makes him understand that even if his brother has a cursed power, he can be and do good. That even if he were to have turned badly, he could still be redeemed (Hector literally served Dracula and has probably killed many innocents in the process, yet look at him now). He sees a lot of Benedict in Hector, the man who was excluded and mistreated for his powers, but still hanged onto his humanity. And he wished he could've done more to help him.

[iamagodjkimcatholicicantsaythat]

My favorite relationship trope (and I mean irl just as much as fictionally) will forever be friends to lovers (not that I want to marry my friends XD ). I just think there is something beautiful about the building of friendship along side the blossoming of romantic feelings. 

There should be more than romantic love in a marriage...without friendship...I just don’t think a relationship is as likely to last. When people start with friendship, they create a bond of trust. Sure, maybe that takes time, but the pay off for when it finally becomes romantic * chef’s kiss *

Further, I have liked a few men and it has usually started as friendship. Sure, nothing came from them. But hey, at least I have some good friends that came out of it! Like it’s a win either way.

[outivv]

Boy do I have an angsty request for you :D So The Boys confess their love to their crush, but she asks them if they take her for a fool, because she believes that they're using her as a substitute for someone they couldn't have. Like Zhongli with Guizhong and Dainsleif with Lumine, etc. She doesn't believe they love her because she's been in a toxic relationship like that before, and it left her heartbroken. Just sum angst with maybe sum comfort. Also congrats on 801 followers! ＼(≧▽≦)／♡

Synopsis: it’a happened a few too many times, being used as a replacement. So when (idk insert a character from the tall boys group) confessed to her, she doesn’t believe it.

Warnings: angst, and mentions of a toxic relationship, I also made y/n a bit... bitchy(?) in the beginning of kaeyas part. Flat out I made them kinda rude.

Game/ fandom: genshin impact

Characters: zhongli, Diluc, childe, kaeya, and Dainsleif

Pronouns for reader: she/ her (I assume that’s what you wanted... if not then I apologize)

A/n: I am in love with this request oh my god. Zhongli and guizhongs relationship pains me so much, like all of the fanart and headcanons for them it just ahhh. Makes me so sad. But aside from that, thank you for congratulating me it means a lot ☺️. It’s a lot of fun seeing how far I’ve come, and with that I hope you enjoy and take care of yourself! Remember to eat something if you haven’t and drink water you amazing human!!! <3

— zhongli —

Zhongli built up the courage to confess to you while stargazing one night. Only to have his hopes and dreams crushed. You though he was lying? He was using you? Why would he ever do such a thing to someone he admired and loved?

“I know your past relationship with guizhong... I’m not an idiot zhongli. I know that you’re going to use me to get over her.” You said coldly with a deadpan expression.

He didn’t understand... how could you think that he’d hold on for that long. He loved her once, but then... then he didn’t. It was hard to explain his feelings, but he knew that it was different with you. He didn’t know how to express that though.

Zhongli pondered for a second before saying, “I wouldn’t do such a thing even if I still loved her. I’ve moved on, and I want to be with you now. My words are true and are straight from the heart.” You still were hesitant though.

You wanted to be with zhongli, but were too scared to be. Past relationships made you have trust issues when it came to giving someone access to your feelings. Because you’d let them in only for them to move on from you weeks later. You were the recovery girl, the practice dummy, only there to get their confidence back.

Zhongli wouldn’t treat you like that though... would he? He could see the gears in your head turning with worry, so he cupped your face in his hands and said, “I would never say something I didn’t mean. Especially something as serious as this.” And kissed your forehead.

Butterflies formed in your stomach at the closeness, and you could feel yourself getting emotional. You hugged him tightly, and nodded, a way of saying that you trust him. He wouldn’t take your trust for granted.

— childe —

Childe wouldn’t like to admit it but he’s had few partners in the past. Being more focused on fatui work, and not wanting to hurt anyone. You had him wrapped around your finger though. He’s never felt this connected, and emotionally attached to someone. It took him a while to sort out his feelings but here he is, confessing to you.

As soon as the words left his mouth he felt a weight lift off of his shoulder, only to be replaced with a nauseous feeling growing in his stomach. “Childe... I know what happened with your last partner. I’m not going to be a replacement.” Replacement? Is that how you thought he viewed you...

Before he could think he said, “no! It’s not like that you’re way more than just a replacement! I haven’t spoken to them in ages, I don’t even know where they are now... how can I still be in love with them.” He made a valid point. You still were cautious though.

Not wanting to get your heart broken again you took baby steps. Your heart was fragile, and surrounded by walls to protect it. It took a lot to break down those walls, but maybe, just maybe could childe do it.

“I haven’t felt this attached to someone, I know that sounds stupid, or cliche, but that is truly how I feel.” He said pouring his heart out. He took your hands into his and looked into your eyes, his own bright blue ones full of love and honesty.

“I’ve loved you since I first saw you. I tried to get your attention many times, and now I finally have it, do you really think I’d lie about anything that I’m saying?” He said, his voice hushed, and his face painted with a smile.

You muttered a no, looking away from his intense gaze. “Well there you have it!” He shouted, a contrast to his previous attitude. “Do you believe me now?” He gently grabbed your chin to make you look at him. He smiled goofily waiting for an answer. How could you saw no to him when he looked so excited?

— kaeya —

Kaeya has been with many lovers in the past, none of them were serious relationships, he never quite found the right person. Until you.

It took a long time for kaeya to confess to you, afraid to get rejected, and break an amazing friendship he built up. His fear was proved to be correct when he confessed to you though. “Kaeya I know about your past lover. They wouldn’t shut up about you...” you said your arms crossed “I know that I’m just the rebound, they still talk about you after months, clearly they still like you. Why go for me when you can go back to them hm? You’d probably do it in a week anyways.”

Wow... he didn’t know you thought so... horribly of him. For once kaeya was speechless, he was so hurt that he couldn’t think straight. “I wouldn’t go back to them even if I was forced to. Why would you think that of me...” Kaeya said speaking the truth. He hated his most previous lover, they were a god awful person, so he left them.

“That’s what everyone does. They get with me, and then leave when they’ve regained their confidence and go get the girl that they originally wanted, or go back to their ex.. as simple as that.” You said coldly. You were treated like a doll to be tossed around, and mistreated until the person got what they wanted from you. You weren’t about to get your heart torn to shreds by someone you came to love.

Kaeya was shocked even more by your words. Were you really treated that way? He felt angry, and hurt all at the same time. He looked at you apologetically, and pulled you into a hug. “I wouldn’t do that to you. Ever. I wouldn’t take this long to confess to someone if I didn’t really care about them.” He said putting his hand on your head. You could feel tears pricking your eyes at his sudden show of affection. You’ve come to trust kaeya with your life, so his words meant something to you.

“Seriously it took me ages to do this.” He said with a chuckle, an attempt to lighten the mood a bit. You let out a laugh yourself, pulling away from his hug and rubbing your eyes. He truly did know how to put a smile on your face.

— Diluc —

Diluc contemplated his feelings for you for months. He didn’t want to get his own heart broken, and he never had been in a serious relationship with someone. He’s never wanted to be in a serious relationship with someone. He was the most sought after bachelor in all of mondstadt, and he had no interest in anyone. Until you.

He wanted to make sure what he was feeling was love, and not a... strong yearning to be your friend. Oddly enough he’s never had that feeling either.

He confessed to you one night, showing you a beautiful sight of the ocean from stormbearer point. He oddly loved the ocean, so he thought it was a perfect place to confess to you. Sadly you rejected him. His heart sank and he felt embarrassed.

Though he held his composure, and asked, “I... I see. May I ask... why?” He wanted at least some sort of explanation. He thought he was owed that at least? “Diluc. You’re the most sought after man in all of mondstadt, you could, or better yet would, leave me in a week.” You said bluntly.

He.. didn’t understand. He had paid no mind to any of the people who wanted him, and finally he had some sort of attraction to someone and they say he’d leave her in a moments notice? Why would he ever do that? “I’ve... I haven’t felt this way about anyone. Why would I leave you for someone I don’t even like?” Diluc said confused.

You looked at him sadly and coldly, “because you can.” You said shortly “you can, and then you’d be just like everyone else.” Everyone else? What did you mean everyone else?

Diluc walked closer to you, and put his hand on the back of your head saying, “I don’t know what you mean by everyone else, but I can assure you I’m not like them. I’ve never felt anything close to this until I met you.” His words were from the heart, and you could tell.

Diluc was a man to speak what was on his mind, and to speak the truth. Even he knows not to play with someone’s feelings. He wouldn’t go out of his way to cause someone pain, he’s too familiar with the feeling himself. He would only treat you with the utmost care, and you could relax and let your guard down around him.

— Dainsleif —

Dainsleif is a man who has seen many people in his lifetime, only truly growing romantically attached to you. He loved once in the past but... they turned out to be... on the wrong side.

Traveling with him for about a year made him trust you, as you trusted him. It also made him love you, as you hopefully loved him. He confessed one rainout night as you took shelter in a ruin in liyue.

He could feel his jaw drop and his heart sink when you said, “dain... I can’t... I don’t want you to leave me... I... I care about you. A lot. And I don’t want to lose you.” Your voice was shaky and sad. His heart broke hearing it.

“Why would you lose me? I want to stay with you, that’s why I’m saying this.” He said starting to get worried. You looked at the ground in front of you, snuggling into the blanket you had wrapped around your shoulders before saying, “that always leave... so I left for once. I left my hometown and started traveling with you...” your voice started to crack as tears started to form in your eyes. “I don’t want to go back there. I want to stay with you, and travel and...” you cut yourself off with your own sob.

You truly cared about dain, and you’ve grown rather attached to him. But you had an inkling feeling that he’d leave you like your past lovers. His heart broke for a second time that night, and he scooted closer to you wrapping his arms around your smaller frame, and kissing the top of your head.

“I wouldn’t leave you. Especially not when I’ve come this attached to you.” He said kissing the crown of your head once more. You have felt more at home traveling teyvat with Dainsleif than you have in the very twin that you grew up in.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Through The Looking Glass Ruins" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who most certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck! I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

When Disney announced episode titles/synopsis for the new season (On a day that left my head SPINNING!), there was one episode that I knew deep down that would cause controversy and discourse amongst the fandom. And that episode was "Through the Looking Glass Ruins." Not because it would be bad, far from it. Instead, because the episode was a Gus episode with a Lumity subplot, that meant that discourse would start as fans decide which story they prefer more. A situation that, might I add, would result in no winners.

Do you prefer the Lumity plotline? Well, guess what! You're a racist who chose to talk about an overrated ship rather than a heavily underrated character who just so happens to be a person of color.

Do you prefer Gus' plotline? Well, guess what! You're a homophobe who decided to shine a light on a character who's underrated for a reason instead of praising a ship that just so happens to involve two girls.

Either side you pick is going to result in making people mad. The only way to avoid that is by explaining in heavy detail that you still enjoyed one side despite preferring the other. Even if you loved both, you'll most certainly have to explain to everyone that you mean it and that you're neither racist nor homophobic. And all I have to say is this: F that.

F that S in the A right now.

Because I, or anybody else for that matter, shouldn't have to explain myself when it comes to saying why I prefer one plot line or the other. I shouldn't have to prevent getting ripped apart by some bulls**t, black and white mentality of people who can't accept that others like a show for different reasons than they do.

You wanna know what I think about "Through the Looking Glass Ruins?" Well, continue reading to find out. You'll have to make your way through spoilers, but it's the only way for you to learn why I consider this episode not worth any discourse that I'm already certain is cropping up.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

The Opening Scene: I'm kind of digging how snappy and to the point these opening scenes are getting. In the span of what has to be less than a minute, we're given all the information we need to know: Gus is insecure about his illusion magic because he accidentally got Willow injured. It's a great way of setting up why Gus wants to prove himself to the Glandus students and a great way of showing how much Willow's friendship means to him. Look at how he's reacting a few days after the incident. He's still mopey and guilty about it, and I feel bad for the little guy.

Gus in General: And while we're already talking about him, let's give this episode a round of applause for giving Gus the spotlight without having him screw over his friends...except for Willow.

"Through the Looking Glass Ruins" really fleshes Gus out much more so than past episodes. As I said, it plays heavily into his own insecurities while proving how he's capable as an illusionist. He's also the best possible outlet to explore more about what illusionist magic can really do. It can't hurt anybody or work well in a fight. Instead, its strengths lie in the act of convincingly tricking others into thinking that something that should be fake is actually real. And Gus got to prove he really is a super witch because of his illusions through a jaw-dropping scene that's as dark as it was enthralling. The fact that he did it all by himself, without the help of an illusion elder who was right there, is honestly even more impressive. A lot of people aren't that interested in Gus as a character, but I feel like, after this episode, he certainly won a few more fans over.

Willow Getting Injured and Missing the Episode: This is a smart move, in my opinion. Willow acts as the voice of reason in the friend group, so if she tagged along with Luz and Gus right away, she would have easily talked Gus out of joining the Glandus kids on a dangerous quest. I love Willow, she's a solid character, but writing her out is really the only way the plot could have progressed.

(I also love that she wasn't mad in the slightest over Gus getting her hurt. She has every right to be, but she also understands that it was an accident, and Gus wouldn't do anything to purposefully hurt her. And that's sweet!)

King’s Prerecorded Message for Gus: That's just adorable. We need more cute friendship moments between these two, DAMN IT!

Gus Being Sick of Luz’s S**t: Of all the characters I expected to get sick of the whole Lumity situation, Gus wasn't really one of them. I'd always thought it'd be Willow, primarily because the rest of the fandom latched onto that idea, but for Gus, I'd figured he'd be more supportive rather than annoyed. That being said, seeing him call Luz out for borrowing his library card to see Amity (Not ask her out. Just to see her) is not only a hilarious moment for Gus but also an adorable moment for Luz. It's something I would never have seen coming, but now that I have it, I want more. GIVE ME MORE!

(Sorry if I'm being a little intense)

Luz Trying to Cheer Up Gus: It's moments like this that prove why Luz is my favorite character.

Willow might have the most common sense out of the group, but it's Luz who still has the biggest heart. She knows her friend is down in the dumps, so Luz pulls out all the stops in cheering him up. Whether it's researching the first-ever human (really surprised he wasn't the tiniest bit excited about that, by the way) and lending him glyphs for his mission to help show up Mattholomule. She may be slow in the romantic relationship department, but episodes like this prove that she excels with a platonic friendship.

Bria: I consider Amar adorably optimistic, and I have no strong feelings for Gavin, one or the other. But with Bria? Holy hell, did the writers do everything they should with her!

At first, it seems like she'll be a generic nice girl for Gus to have a crush on. Only for that writing to be a perfect twist into how she's kind of the worst. You see hints of her true personality in the overly sweet way she threatens to force Amar to eat a bug he gets distracted by. A viewer's initial reaction to that would be to think that while she's sweet, she still means business. But no, it's actually a perfect way to reveal her true intentions while hiding them at the same time. Bria may be rotten to the core, but with how perfectly executed this twist was, I can't help but adore her contribution.

Mattholomule: ...I would sooner expect to have gone insane before believing that this little s**t weasel would make his way onto my good side. Despite that, here we are in episode five of the new season, and I like Mattholomule now.

The reveal that Glandus High forces students to believe that the strong survive and the weak are inferior explains so much for Mattholomule's thirst for power in "Something Ventured, Someone Framed." It doesn't excuse his actions, not by a long shot, but it definitely paints a clearer picture. It also explains his treatment of Gus, as well as Mattholomule's reasoning to help him. Because of Glandus High inserting a "the strong survive" mentality into Mattholomule, he belittles Gus due to thinking that illusion magic makes Gus weak. But after seeing how they're both stooges to Bria's mistreatment, he's quick to apologize and willingly helps Gus out. In the process, the two of them create a believable and cute friendship...a friendship that is absolutely going to be interpreted as something else by the fandom...which is something that I'm more than supportive of--HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! I WENT FROM ONE OF THE BIGGEST GUSTOLOMULE DENIERS TO ONE OF ITS SUPPORTERS IN LESS THAN A DAY! HOW DO THESE WRITERS MANAGE TO TAKE ELEMENTS THAT WERE ONCE ON MY S**T LIST TO THEN MAKING ME MORE THAN OK WITH THEM!

IT'S INSANE!

Mostly impressive.

BUT ALSO INSANE!

Edric and Emira: More so than ever, I am so happy that the writers took their course correction with Edric and Emira. These two work so much better as supporting characters rather than minor antagonists like several fans thought they would be after their treatment of Amity in "Lost in Language." They're quick to pick up on Luz and Amity's mutual affections for one another and do their part to help their friend and baby sister out. It's wholesome to watch, and, you know what, I'm gonna go ahead and say it: Edric and Emira Blight are much better mischievous twin characters than Fred and George Weasley. As much as I adore Fred and George, there is an issue how they're always referred to as Fred and George, not Fred or George. It's because their personalities are as identical as they are, so separating them is pointless. With Edric and Emira, they have enough individuality that you could enjoy them separately as much as you could seeing them together. Emira is more emotionally supportive in how she listens to Amity vent her frustrations about her feelings, while Edric is more of a doofus who can't take a hint to save his life. It creates a great set of characters who can potentially work well on their own. I hope they get explored more at some point, but for now, I'm happy with the cute moments these two offered already.

Lumity Moments: BUUUUUUUUUUUUT, nothing compares to the cuteness of these two.

I don't care if I'll be called a racist for it because these! Moments! These moments are the highlights of "Through the Looking Glass Ruins" for me! Seeing these two interact in this episode, now that the pining is mutual, was everything I could have ever hoped for, and so much more. Seriously, how can you complain about anything about all of this when you get cute bits like:

Luz getting flustered of seeing Amity with her hair down

Amity risking her job to help Luz

Amity being motivated to find the diary due to the possibility of a date with Luz in the human realm

Luz going through hell and back to get Amity her job back

All of the blushing

And that F**KING KISS AT THE END HOLY SH--Don't you dare think I'm not going to further discuss that. DON'T YOU DARE!

Gus' story was entertaining with how it surprised me in all the right ways, don't get me wrong. But seeing Luz and Amity's relationship develop more and more always fills my heart with glee that, believe it or not, I'm always going to remember it more. I love you, Gus, but I love Lumity more.

Philip Whittabeen: So we finally have a name to the alleged human who was here years ago, and we get properly introduced to him through a really visually appealing animation change. I'm personally curious to see where the writers go with him, but it's too early to say if his inclusion will be worth something. But I will say one thing, though. One thing, and then I'm going to move on.

Here it is:

Philip sounds eerily similar to Emperor Belos to me.

That is all I'm going to say about that.

Luz’s Sentences in Spanish: I want to give a personal shout-out to mi buen amigo @l-egionaire for pointing this out because there are some things to analyze in what Luz says in Spanish in this episode. Knowing what she means, it's clear that they are ideals that Camila instilled into Luz. Ideals that possibly show a lot about Camila's personality on top of revealing where Luz got her hopeful optimism and sense of determination. It's the second sentence that Luz says later on that I really want to delve deep into:

"Nada funcionará a menos que lo haga funcionar."

Translated, that means "Nothing will work unless you make it work." Again, this proves the dedication that Luz has filled into her soul, but to me, it says a lot about Luz's dedication to Amity. She wants to make this relationship work but fully understands that it won't unless she puts in the effort. It's a sweet sentiment that says so much about how Luz feels about Amity that some fans might not be able to pick up on if they don't speak Spanish. Or, in my case, have a good friend who finds the translation for you (thanks again @l-egionaire).

The Galderstones: Pretty interesting concept, I'm not going to lie. It's also interesting that of all the types of witches in the Boiling Isles, it was illusionists who were the ones that guard over the Galderstones. Because illusion magic can't really harm anyone, it makes a weird type of sense that they would be the ones to keep the Galderstones out of the wrong hands. And, even better, it showcases Gus' strength as an illusionist when he was able to take down Bria, who was hopped up on Galderstone power, through that same "harmless" magic. It just goes to show that if you have a big enough brain, you don't need to overpower somebody. You need to outthink them.

Malphus Being a Surprisingly Cool Dude: What can I say? I'm a sucker for expectation subversion.

Luz and Amity Crying: First of all, a HUGE round of applause to VAs Sarah-Nicole Robles and Mae Whitman through their vocal performances in this scene! They really sold how upset and broken apart Luz and Amity were due to their feelings for each other messing things up. More so with Sarah-Nicole.

Second, this might be the closest these two have gotten to a confession so far ("so far" being the keyword). I specifically latch onto Amity's expression after hearing Luz agree that she's always weird around Amity. In one way, it looks like Amity is surprised to see she made Luz cry, but in another, it could be that she realizes that perhaps that Luz has feelings for her as well. Or, at least, that's how I interpreted things. The thing about art is that there's no one interpretation to agree on. And that's what this scene is: Art. It's performed, written, and animated well, that no matter how you look at it, it's a masterpiece.

“I’ll call the hounds”: One line. One line was all it took for me to love the Keeper of the Looking Glass Graveyard.

Amity Dyes her Hair: I always assumed that Amity would let her original hair color grow out as defiance to Odalia. But dying it lavender? Thus crafting her own identity without having her be compared to either Odalia or Alador?

...yeah, that's brilliant. Whoever thought of that, you are a genius and deserve all of the credit that comes from it.

ALL of the credit.

Amity Kisses Luz on the Cheek!: I'll save my "Wha-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo" for an actual kiss, but for now, THIS IS AWESOME!

This moment, much like other Lumity moments, was everything I could have ever expected and so much more:

Amity's instant panic after realizing she seriously just did that

Ed and Em looking fondly at their sister taking such a big step

The look on Luz's face, which may or may not hint that she realizes that the feelings are more than mutual

And the fact that Luz's legs give out soon after Amity leaves

It was adorable as all forms of hell, and it was a perfect way to end such a perfect episode...or, at least, an almost perfect episode. I do have some issues.

WHAT I DISLIKED

Mattholomule Helping Gus too Easily: The Glandus kids were right there, in-ear and eye-shot, yet did nothing as Mattholomule effortlessly helped Gus and the Keeper escape...how?

Gavin falling for Gus’ Illusion: I want to laugh at how stupidly easy that was...but it's too stupidly easy for me to forgive.

And that’s about it. Just two nitpicks that don’t really take away that much enjoyment from the episode

IN CONCLUSION

"Through the Looking Glass Ruins" keeps Season Two's winning streak going by being another solid A. It fleshes out characters, develops cute relationships, and keeps the story going despite being so character-driven. It's easily more than worth the time...but it's not worth any discourse that comes from some fans preferring one plot over the other.

I highly doubt that some people are racist for loving the Lumity plotline or homophobic for loving Gus'. Maybe some people are, but also consider that maybe, just maybe, a person loves a ship because it's their favorite, or a person likes a character cause he's their favorite.

Which.

Is.

Fine.

There's no definitive way to like a series, and demanding that people like it for the same reasons you do is not worth anything. Because, believe it or not, even Dana Terrace doesn't care how people love her show. In the AMA she did, when a fan asked if she's upset about fans obsessing over Amity's crush on Luz, this is her word for word reaction:

"Not at all! No, the main focus of the series will never be on any romantic thread but that doesn't mean those threads aren't important. And I'm thrilled that people connect to our characters!"

THERE YOU HAVE IT! The creator herself fully admits that she doesn't care what fans latch onto. She's just glad to have people who like the show in the first place! So don't create discourse just because some people enjoy a part of an episode more than others. The second you get that through your heads, the sooner we can all move on with our lives.

(Also, that's five episodes in a row that are hits. And, man, is that stinker going to hit harder because of it.)

[ateezmakemeweep]

it’s always been you.

mingi x reader; friends to lovers au

word count: 10k

fluff, smut

kim hongjoong was not only the first boy you ever had a crush on, but your first bully. you remember your palms sweating and cheeks warming when the teacher assigned you the seat right in front of him. you were excited by the small and scrawny boy who exuded such natural confidence, a powerful energy surrounding him despite only being in second grade.

and apparently, you were able to sense that. or maybe it was something twisted preparing you for the journey of boys who would go on to mistreat you. because it only took 30 minutes for him to start pulling your hair, the strands resting on the top of his desk repeatedly knocking into his pencil and causing it to roll down the flat surface.

you had noticed the slight pinches and pulls but felt too scared to turn around, your tiny body and heart far too nervous to confront the boy even though he was pulling at your scalp.

every time you felt it, your eyes shot to your best friend mingi who was sat across the room.

you and him have always been attached at the hip, the children of best friend's and neighbors who made you guys do everything together since the day you were born. and it was lucky that you genuinely liked him, that you didn't just put up with his company because your parents forced you to; but truthfully, you really don't know how anyone couldn't like him. because he wasn't only one of the funniest people in your life but he was kind when it mattered most.

sure, his laugh was a little too loud and he could be clingy and sometimes he took his jokes too far. but he was always quick to throw his arms around you, squeeze you into a hug and keep you in his embrace until you accepted his sorrowful, whiny apology.

"he keeps pulling my hair," you whispered to him at lunch, ripping your peanut butter and jelly sandwich down the middle.

"what?" mingi laughs out slightly, keeping his voice quiet as he rips his ham and cheese sandwich. "did you ask him why?

"no," you squeak out, shaking your head as you take your designated half of his sandwich.

you two have been doing this since you started kindergarten, one day deciding to split your sandwiches down the middle and swap; you still firmly believe that it was because mingi was bitter over the tuna sandwich his mom had packed him meanwhile you had had a grilled cheese.

but regardless, it's something that had stuck. something that you two don't even think about anymore and just do on autopilot.

"why not?" mingi asks.

another reason your friendship worked was because whereas you've always been on the shyer, quiter side, mingi was outgoing and lively. he was able to talk to anybody, even the older kids in gym class or at recess, without a hint of nervousness or apprehension. and apparently, he was able to talk to hongjoong as well, in no way affected by the small boy passing your table who you found so intimidating.

"hey! hongjoong!"

your eyes widen, nervousness quickly morphing into anger when your best friend opens his fat mouth. you smack his arm lightly, a tiny, embarrassed squeal leaving you. "what are you doing?"

the smaller boy sends him a slightly confused smile and wave before walking passed to sit at another table. mingi looks at you with an innocent smile before a loud cackle leaves his mouth.

"you look so scared," he teases, poking your warm, pink cheek. "like the time you peed your pants on halloween."

"i did not!" you whine to him, quickly forgetting about hongjoong before eyeing mingi's juice box mischievously and snatching it away. "but you did."

your best friend's loud yelp and your giggle catch the attention of the lunch monitor, the older woman stomping over to the both of you with her arms crossed. needless to say, you two spend recess inside that day, the wet, juice stain on mingi's pants occasionally making the both of you giggle.

it takes three more days of hair pulling from hongjoong to finally get you to whip your head around at the small boy, eyes wide as you look at him.

"what?" he huffs out after a few seconds of you just staring at him.

"why are you pulling my hair?" you ask, wishing your voice didn't sound so mousy and weak.

"i'm not," he spits out, looking over your nervous, blushing face. "why is your face all red?"

"it's not," you squeak back as you shake your head, quickly turning back around as your gaze instinctively moves to mingi. he catches the exact second your face morphs into one of pain, face crumbling and a yelp of "ow!" booming through the classroom when a harsh tug stings at your scalp.

big and fast for his age, mingi is over to the desk before the teacher can make it, staring down threateningly at hongjoong who wears an equally pissed off scowl.

"don't pull her hair!"

"she's so annoying," hongjoong whines, "her long, stupid hair is always all over my desk and it won't stop knocking into my pencil!"

"that doesn't mean you have to hurt her!"

hongjoong scoffs at the tall boy standing over him and yelling, throwing you a dirty look that has mingi cleching his small fists; he doesn't like when people are mean to any of his friends but especially you.

"she's just a baby," hongjoong spits, "it wasn't even hard."

"shut up!" mingi says just as you grumble "yes it was!"

"you shut up! why are you even yelling at me?" the smaller boy asks, "is she your girlfriend?"

"no! she's my best friend, you idiot!"

the teacher finally rushes over and seperates the boys, bringing them out into the hallway. you smile with watery eyes as you hear mingi's booming voice defending you, hongjoong's higher pitched whines frequently cut off by the boy.

he stomps back in a few minutes later, his eyes meeting yours and softening when you send a smile his way. and when school gets out at 3:00, you both sit on the swings where you tell him maybe you don't have a crush on hongjoong anymore.

jung wooyoung was the new boy in 5th grade. all of the girls had fawned over him the second he walked through the door, smacking each other lightly and giggling into one another as he introduced himself; and perhaps you were one of them.

because when your teacher asked you to be the new student's tour guide/buddy for the week, you hadn't really known what to expect. but then in he walked, all friendly and bubbly with his high-pitched voice bringing a smile to your face.

you introduced yourself five minutes before lunch, going up to him to explain that you were his arranged buddy for the week.

"oh, okay!" he chirped happily, "i'm wooyoung...but i guess you already knew that."

you giggle softly, nodding your head as you take out your purple lunchbox. "i'm y/n. do you...do you wanna sit with me at lunch? you could meet my friend mingi, too."

"sure," he said happily, his wide smile causing juenvile butterflies to flutter in your stomach.

"alright, cool!"

"cool."

you smile shyly before leading the way to the cafeteria, explaining to him all about the time periods, what hot lunches were best and how there were two other classes in your grade.

you spot mingi at your usual table, sending him a wave as he looks at you and the unknown boy with a mysterious look.

"mingi! this is the new student, wooyoung. wooyoung, this is my best friend mingi."

"hey," the boy said, smiling and waving at the boy.

"hi," mingi said back, nodding his head at him. "so y/n is your tour guide for the week?"

"yeah," wooyoung says, "she's been great so far."

"just wait, she still gets lost around this school."

you roll your eyes and scoff at your friend, smacking his arm lightly before plopping down in the seat next to him and chatting more with wooyoung. you had gotten better at talking to people as you got older but still struggled sometimes, feeling anxious when there was even the briefest of pauses in coversation.

but mingi was quick to fill it, asking wooyoung all about sports he liked and video games he's played. you hit the boy when he exposes your lack of athletic ability, laughing with wooyoung as he tells him about the time you almost knocked yourself out with a basketball.

but apparently, mingi's friendliness was a little insincere. because when you were sat on your living room floor doing homework a few days later, he confessed to you that he was a little bit...suspicious of wooyoung.

"really, mingi?" you laugh out, "because he's too nice? you sound crazy."

"i'm telling you, y/n," he insists, peeking at your math homework and erasing it upon seeing you had the wrong answer. "there's something up."

"leave my work alone!" you yelp, smacking the pencil out of his hand before you shake your head at him. "and leave wooyoung alone, too, he's a nice boy."

"it's suspicous, y/n," he grumbles, "i don't trust him."

but it only causes you to roll your eyes because nothing the boy did gave any indication he was less than genuine. and it's something you remind mingi of a week later, after consistently sitting with wooyoung at lunch and getting to know him in class.

"remember when you were like 'oh no, he's way too nice, i don't trust him, blah blah blah,'" you mimic, doing a lousy imitation of his voice. he throws a stray chip at you, watching as you attempt to catch it in your mouth and chuckling when you miss it.

"just wait, y/n," mingi says warningly, narrowing his eyes at you. "just you wait."

something about his tone causes you to raise an eyebrow, turning your head to the side before you mouth falls open.

"oh, my gosh!" you squeal, "are you... jealous?" you've never seen the boy's cheeks turn as red as they did upon you saying that.

"jealous?" he yelps, "no! of course not! what the hell would i be jealous of?"

"you don't want him to replace your spot as my best friend!" you reply adamantly, the giggle bubbling out of you causing your head to tilt back. "oh, my gosh, i totally get it now."

"now you're the one sounding crazy," mingi grumbles, shaking his head as he feels his cheeks continue to grow warm.

but you can only giggle again, crawling over to the boy with a teasing smile. "you don't have to worry, mingi," you tell him, pinching his cheek lightly, "you'll always be my best friend."

"i wasn't worried," he says dryly, pushing your shoulder lightly as you fall back with a squeal. "because who else would put up with you?"

"i'm sure wooyoung would," you tease, sticking your tongue out and smiling when you see an annoyed expression cover his face.

"just kidding!"

and thank god you said that. because you would've ended up looking like quite the fool. you walked into class monday morning excited to talk to your new friend, ask him all about his weekend and tell him about the new board game you got.

but the second you spotted him, you saw him talking to hongjoong, the boy you still haven't quite forgiven for his second grade antics. but you didn't think too much of it, shrugging it off and making your way to your seat to talk to the small group of girls you're close to.

but then when you went to get your lunch, you saw him come up next to you and brightly smiled at him.

"hi wooyoung! are you ready for lunch?

"hey, y/n," he said quietly. you noticed the solemn look on his face and furrowed your eyebrows, not used to seeing him lacking a bright smile or lit up eyes.

"are you okay?"

he looks back at hongjoong and the rest of the boys who are standing around the his desk awaitingly before turning back to you.

"yeah, i'm good," he says, "i just....i wanted to tell you i'm gonna sit with hongjoong at lunch today." your eyes filter across the room to see the group of boys now staring at both of you.

oh," you say, feeling just a little disheartened; you felt excited to talk to him after the weekend, gaining quite a soft spot for the boy after these past two weeks of becoming friends.

"i'm sorry," he winces, "they asked me before and i don't wanna-"

"it's okay," you giggle out suddenly, feeling silly for feeling upset in the first place. he's new and doesn't know anybody, obviously he was gonna be making more friends. "maybe we'll talk tomorrow?"

and you should've known by the half-hearted way he nodded at you that you wouldn't. that everytime you walked into the classroom and looked at him, only a small smile would be sent your way. that he now got his lunch before the teacher announced lunch time, successfully avoiding you and the need to have a conversation.

"i just don't get it," you mumble to mingi a few days later in the cafeteria. "why doesn't he wanna be friends anymore?"

mingi's cold gaze travels to wooyoung who has now seemed to become a permanent member of hongjoong's clan, narrowing his eyes at the boy in question when their eyes meet.

"i don't know," mingi mumbles, "boys are stupid."

you shake your head as a small giggle leaves your mouth at his comment. "but you're a boy, mingi."

"exactly, that's how i know," he teases, ripping his sandwich before assessing both halves. "here."

you try to hide your smile when you notice he's holding out the bigger piece, thanking him quietly and your fingers graze lightly as you take it. you munch on a few bites in a comfortable silence, the noisy chatter of other students surrounding both of you until mingi blurts out:

"you'll always be my best friend, too, y/n."

a wide smile covers your face immediately, the tugging feeling in your chest something you're still quite too young and naive to understand. but anyone around you can see it, the way your smiles brighten and eyes twinkle when you look at each other.

"i know, mingi," you say softly, hitting his foot with yours lightly under the table and giggling when he does it back. "because who else would put up with you?"

choi jongho was the youngest boy you ever had a crush on, noticing the cute sixth-grader at recess while you and your seventh-grade friends sat on the steps and watched.

"do you guys think he's cute?" one of your friends asked curiously; she had been watching the boys play kickball for the past 20 minutes.

"who? that sixth-grader?" your other friend said, eyeing the girl next to her like she just asked if she'd eat dirt.

"yeah," she says with shrug.

"that's so gross of you, why would you even care about a stupid sixth-grader."

you resist the urge to snort at her, watching as the boy kicks the ball and makes it go flying. he quickly makes his way around all the bases, his team cheering when he dramatically slides back to home.

"you know, that was just us last year," you point out to her, removing your gaze from the boy and looking at her face still full of distaste.

"oh god. so what, you think he's cute, too?"

"i mean, i guess..." you say, eyeing your other friend who gives you an affirming nod as you resist the urge to giggle.

and then your crush is basically confirmed by the next day at the end of recess. because the girls had been able to snag the last kickball, happily running to the field before you heard a male voice speak behind you.

"do you mind if we join you guys?" the voice says cooly and calmly, "maybe boys versus girls?"

you turn around to see him and he was even cuter up close, not too much taller than you but definietly bigger for his age. you can only find it in yourself to stupidily nod before attempting to snap yourself out of it.

"su-sure! let's go!"

mingi watches the field from his spot on the monkey bars where he consistently spends his time. you couldn't pay him enough money to play tag or chase a ball around, much preferring to chat with his friend while lounging in the sun.

he watches you with a smirk as you try your best to play, because he knows you really are trying. but once you miss the ball not only once but twice and then start hobbling your way over to the base, he bursts into laughter.

his eyes squint to see you in the distance looking over at the boy guarding first base. he's able to tell immediately that you like him, your shy smile and the way you quickly look away when he feels your obvious stare a dead give away.

"don't tell me you like that little sixth-grader," is the first thing mingi says to you as you guys line up to go back inside.

"what! who!" you yelp out, looking at your friend with a confused expression. but he knows you're feigning it, knows you know exactly who he's talking about.

"hey, you," mingi says to your friend who stood a few feet away from you. "who was the boy guarding first base?"

"the cute sixth-grader?" she says, a small huff leaving your mouth because now you know you're busted. "i think his name is jongho."

"jongho," mingi says as he turns to you. "please don't tell me you like jongho."

"oh, just shut up!" you say, pushing him forward as the line starts moving. his laugh rings through the fleeting outside air, shaking his head as turns around to start walking backwards.

"a younger boy?" mingi teases as he looks down at you, "c'mon, now, y/n."

"what's wrong with sixth-graders?!" you squeal, "we were in sixth-grade literally three months ago!"

"okay but now we're in seventh-grade," he says and a part of you hopes he stumbles over his feet, just a little. "you can't be crushing on little boys."

"i only see one little boy here," you spit, squinting your eyes at him and disregarding the fact that this boy has towered over you since the age of one.

"yeah, right," he quips with a roll of his eyes, turning around and laughing when he feels you smack his back lightly.

mingi and your friends tease you about your little crush on jongho for weeks, in disbelief that you'd even give the boy the time of day. but it's not like you even talk to him that much, only words in passing on the kickball field and at recess.

which is why it's incredibly embarrassing when your friend, in an effort to tease you, asks jongho to help you practice your kicking technique, insisting you need the extra assistance but are too shy to ask on your own.

"sure," he says with a shrug of his shoulders but your reddening cheeks and sweaty palms were hoping he'd say differently.

"no!" you squeak, "please, you don't have to! that's not-"

"it's fine," he chuckles out as he stands next to you. he makes your friend roll the ball to him, instructing you on the proper way to time it and then how to apply the right amount of strength.

mingi had noticed from his spot on the monkey bars and immediately had to jump down and make his way over; a front row seat to watching you interact with a boy you liked was something he couldn't miss.

"i noticed you seem to look scared of the ball," the boy says to you, a small grin on his face. "but there's no reason to be."

"i know.... but sometimes it just looks...fast," you say sheepishly and he chuckles at the shyness in your tone. the boy's about to respond when your friend, whose really not been acting like a good one lately, squeals about what a cute couple you'd make.

your face pales as you look at her with wide eyes, gaze nervously switching between her and the slightly stiff boy next to you.

"uhh..." jongho mutters, side-eyeing you before looking at your friend.

"what, you don't think?" she squeaks with a turn of her head and it causes mingi's blood to boil; he's never liked her and now he knows he's had good reason.

yours and jongho's discomfort is obvious, shoulders squared and eyes flickering nervously.

"uh...aren't you guys older than me?" he asks quietly. "that'd be kind of...weird."

your face flames even more, pressing your lips together into a tight line so you don't scream at her or start crying. but then you feel a familiar presence at your side, mingi's tall figure wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"more weird than a girl wearing a tank top over a long-sleeved shirt?" mingi quips, eyeing your friend's questionable outfit as her face twistes into one of shock and annoyance. "i don't think so."

jongho bursts out laughing, snorting into his hand before the familiar blow of a whistle rings through the air. "i'll see you guys tomorrow!" he says, turning to wave at you before making his way towards the buliding.

mingi and your friend have a bit of a staredown, your own hurt gaze roaming over your friend before the tall boy next to you speaks.

"let's go, y/n," he says, keeping his arm tight around you as he drags you off the field. you turn your head slightly to groan into him in embarrassment, his soft chuckle right below your ear.

"don't say a word."

"wasn't planning on it, grandma," he teases, fully accepting the hard slap that lands on his stomach.

kang yeosang was the first boy you "talked" to, the exciting but nervewrecking feeling of texting a boy into the night while claiming not to be tired at all. because you just don't wanna stop talking to him, giggling to yourself when he sends you a string of playful emojis and then squealing at the message that just pinged through.

but it's quickly cut off by mingi's whines.

"can you shut up already and stop texting him?" he rolls over in his sleeping bag, staring at you through sleepy eyes. he knew ninth grade was gonna bring dating and romance but he had no idea it'd be so damn annoying and start impacting his sleep at your friday night slumber parties.

"he asked me on a date!"

"at 1:00 in the morning?" he asks grouchily, voice deep from tiredness.

"no, silly," you say, rolling over to ruffle is bedhead. "for tomorrow night. we're gonna meet at the movie theater."

mingi hums lowly, a sinking feeling in his stomach already. and it's like you can feel it yourself, groaning lightly when you see his face.

"what?"

"nothing," he says, "he's just kind of douchey."

"you have no right to judge with some of the girls you associate with," you retort, wanting to roll your eyes and scoff just thinking about the little clan that surrounds mingi after basketball games or before class.

"i know, the one i'm with right now is dreadful," he says, smirking when you narrow your eyes at him. "kidding."

your phone pings with two more vibrations and mingi lets out a groan, rolling his eyes when he sees you quickly reach for your phone. your face flushes looking at his teasing expression, sticking your tongue out again before flipping over on your blanket.

"mind your business!"

when you and mingi wake the next morning, he attempts to calm your nerves. talking you off the ledge multiple times from telling yeosang you've fallen horribly ill or have to go visit your great aunt.

"why would you even say great aunt? why just not like...an okay aunt? a good aunt, even. but great?" mingi questions as he's laid out on your bed, watching you flip through the clothes in your closet.

and despite the nervosness fluttering through your stomach, you find yourself able to laugh at your friend, turning around to shake your head at him.

"you're so dumb."

"and so are you for being nervous," he says, getting up and walking over to you. "it's gonna be fine."

you lick at your dry lips, looking up at him with wide eyes. "how do you know? what if i don't know what to say and we lapse into an awkward silence? what if i fall asleep during the movie? oh, my god or what if i burp when we drink from our shared soda?"

"oooh, a shared soda?" mingi teases, "one straw or two?"

your lips turn into a pout at him making fun of you, craning your neck to the side and resisting the overwhelming urge to stomp on his foot with yours.

"don't do it," he says warningly, eyes dropping to your sock-covered feet causing a small smirk to cross your face.

"how did you even know," you mumble before turining back to your closet with a groan. "oh, my god i have no clothes. i can't go. i'm not going."

"you can and you will," mingi says, getting up and guiding you over to the bed by your shoulders. he commands for you to sit before rifling through your closet, picking out two different shirts and laying them out next to you.

"those are nice. pick between one of those and then like jeans or something," mingi says, "i'm going to raid your fridge and when i'm back, you better be dressed."

"get me some water, please!" you yell after him, smiling when throws a mock dirty look your way. you look over the two shirts mingi laid out, trying them both on before choosing one and pairing it with boots and a long necklace.

"and before you ask, i put in six ice cubes the way you always-"

mingi's loud voice halts when he walks back in your room, his mouth nearly falling open. you hadn't even done anything to your hair or face yet but the outfit clings to you in ways only puberty could cause, his eyes widening as they roam over you.

"what?" you squeak, quickly turning to the mirror to assess yourself. "do i look bad"?

"no," he's quick to assure, placing the glass of water on your dresser and making his way over to you. "you look like...." your eyes meet in the mirror and you raise your eyebrow at him, "a girl."

you spin around, a scoff leaving your mouth as you push him by the shoulder. "i've always been a girl, asshole!"

"i know," he laughs out, doing his best to keep his eyes on your face. "but now you really look like one."

"oh, my gosh are you... you're a pervert!" you squeal, hitting his chest multiple times and leading him towards the door. "i'm kicking you out! no pervs allowed!"

"i'm not!" he whines, "i swear i'm not. i was just saying."

"i'll see you tomorrow, pervert!"

but you end up seeing him just a few hours later. because you walked to the theater only a few blocks away around 6:45 since yeosang told you the movie started at 7:15.

7:15 came and went, your head popping up everytime you heard the ding of the door opening. but it was never him. not when it happened at 7:20 or 7:30 or even 8:00. you were on the verge of tears, the pit in your stomach growing as more time passes. you're there for a full hour before you accept that he's not coming, not a single text back from him after sending him five and calling three times.

the cold air stings your watery eyes on the way home, hands shaking and mind racing with a thousand different thoughts. why would he stand you up? did he intend to from the start or did something maybe come up? you felt more embarrassed than anything else, standing in that theater watching couples come and go while the workers looked at you grasp your phone with sympathy.

you stomp up the stairs and straight to your room, slamming your door and throwing back on your pajamas. you keep your face in the pillow for so long you can't believe you don't suffocate, not allowing the tears fall for that stupid boy.

your hands start itching to text mingi and you scramble for your phone, typing out a frowny face to him.

‘what happened?’ he texts back a minute later ‘is the movie that bad?’  

‘i don't know, he never showed up’

your door bursts open five minutes later, two plastic bags in mingi's hands with a dark, anger expression on his face.

"i knew he was a douche," the boy growls, plopping the bags on your dresser before walking over to sit on your bed. "are you okay?"

his face crumbles when he sees your lips form into a pout, tears welling up in your eyes and he's quick to take you in his arms. you sit there and listen to his mumbles assuring how how much yeosang missed out, how he's just some random loser who didn't deserve to go on a date with you in the first place.

netiher of you comment on your tears, the wetness soaking through his shirt as you silently cry into him. he eventually leans you both back on the headboard, his arm around you as your head rests on his shoulder.

"i'm sorry," you wince, rubbing over the wet spot on his shirt.

"it's okay, a little snot won't hurt me."

"there's no snot," you grumble lowly, the whine in your voice causing him to chuckle.

he reluntanctly pulls himself away from you, gathering up the snacks he bought and bringing them over to your bed. and that's how you spend the rest of the night, cuddled into his shoulder watching a marathon of movies completely forgetting about the boy who made you cry.

choi san was the boy you had a two-month summer romance with. you think you loved him as much as a 15-year-old could love somebody, spending your days by his side on the beach or at the pool.

he wasn't only one of the most beautiful boys you'd ever seen, he was sweet. so sweet almost to the point where you didn't believe that he was real at first.

you had been laid out on your pink beach towel, nearly asleep in the blazing summer sun when a volleyball bounced right off your head. your first instinct was to yelp, your hand flying to your head and quickly shooting up to see where it had come from.

and there he stood, concerned eyes looking over your figure.

"i'm so sorry!" his voice franticaly apologized, "apparently i'm really out of practice and shouldn't be playing around the general public. i can take you to the first-aid office if you-"

"it's okay, i'm fine," you giggle at his rambling, stretching out your foot to drag the ball closer to you. "here. get some more practice."

his melodic laugh echos throughout the beach as he thanks you with a smile; you immediately notice his dimples and your own smile widens because that is the cutest thing you’ve ever. and he's about to turn around and walk away when he looks you over again, pursing his lips to the side before inviting you to play and help him practice.

"you just wanna make sure i'm not concussed," you tease, his bright smile aimed right at you the first of many that summer. it was all pure and innocent, arms and hands knocking into one another as you walk down the beach, always sitting side by side at weekend bonfires, his arms gripping your waist as you fall off the board during your surfing lessons.

he asks you the night he pecks your cheek if the boy you always talk about is your boyfriend. and you throw your head back in laughter like it was the funniest thing you ever heard because

"mingi?" you squealed, "no way! he's been my best friend since i was little. it's... not like that between us."

because when you got home from your nights out with san and his friends, you told mingi all about him. how you'd never met a boy that was just as cute as he was nice and, given your track record, mingi was reluctant at first. but then the more you talked about him, even briefly allowing them to meet over facetime, he got the best friend seal of approval.

the last week of your vacation was packed into time with san, the both of you trying to spend the last few days of your vacation together; mingi also had refused to video chat you, insisting he had a surprise for you when you got back.

so with a tearful departure and an exchange of phone numbers, you said goodbye to san. you guys promised each other to keep in contact, leave your relationship as just friends and see what happens within the next few months of texting.

and while a part of you was sad to leave behind his dimply smile and the hot sun, another part of you was overwhelmingly excited to see mingi now; you think this is the longest you've ever been apart. so the second you get home, you drop your stuff on the front porch and run to his house, banging on his door rapidly.

and when it opens, an audible gasp leaves your mouth. because there mingi stands, his tall handsome self even more handsome with sunkissed skin and a head full of red, wavy hair.

"your hair!" you squeal, jumping up to throw your arms around his neck; a deep chuckle leaves his mouth as he picks you up in a hug and you're trying to remember if it always sounded like that.

"you like it?" he mumbles as he places you down, "i was so damn bored without you."

“i love it!” you squeak, lifting your hand up to ruffle his soft hair. he narrows his eyes playfully, moving his head away before dragging you into his house by your pointer finger.

you two lay out on his bed, your feet by his head and your head by his feet as you catch up on what you both did during your time apart. he tells you about the drama-filled house parties you missed, how a group of juniors crashed it and then successfully checked off mingi getting french kissed.

“you’re lying!” you laugh out, “you are lying to me.”

“i wish i was, y/n,” he says, the honest pain and terror evident in his voice as he relives the memory. “it was like she was trying to get me to inhale and digest it.” 

your loud giggle booms through his room as you lean up on your elbows to look at him, leaned back against the headboard as he wears a tortured expression. but even with it, you can see why the girl’s were attacking him this summer.

because between his new hair and basketball workout routinue paying off, he is straying quickly from his nerdy, gangly teen self; your eyes can’t help but notice how broad his shoulders have also gotten.

“are you checking me out, y/n?” he asks, not being able to help the smirk that crosses his face. 

“shut up,” you scoff with a roll of your eyes, trying your very hardest to pretend you weren’t. “you think because one girl tongues you, you’re hot shit now.” 

“when did i say it was only one?” he quips. you shake your head, kicking him lightly in the stomach and causing him to snort. you hear your phone vibrate across the room, craning your head back before mingi suggests going to ice cream place in your town that’s only opened seasonly. 

“oh, my gosh, please! i totally forgot about that!” you say, jumping up from his bed and tugging him out. “let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!”

you run over to check your phone, seeing two messages from san; you quickly respond to him asking if you made it home safe, sending him a confirmation with a purple heart before rushing out with mingi. 

and that’s how it goes for the remaining weeks of summer. you and san sporadically texting before you run off to go in mingi’s pool or walk to the ice cream shop with him. you and san were able to talk on the phone one night jut for you to fall asleep ten minutes in, since mingi had woken you up bright and early to get breakfast. 

by the time school starts, your texts with san fizzles out. both of you free at different times, you distracted by plans with mingi or san preoccupied with family functions. and two weeks ago, you would’ve thought that you’d be sad about that, not seeing his name pop up with a good morning or night text.

but it’s like the second you were reunited with mingi, you just wanted to spend all your time catching up with him. 

jeong yunho was your first boyfriend, one of the happiest and sweetest people you’d ever come to know. you guys had been on three dinner dates, one more perfect than the next, before he nervously fumbled over his words and asked you to be his girlfriend. 

your time with him had been ten months of bliss, soft kisses and gentle words from the boy you never once saw without a smile or heard raise his voice. you knew anyone would be lucky to have a boyfriend like him. 

because on days you were sad or stressed with schoolwork, he would bring you your favorite snacks and let you fall asleep on his chest. when you were having a problem with something, he sat down and quietly listened before kindly offering his advice. when your relationship had started to get more sexual in nature, he was so slow with you. 

pulling back from your lips and asking if you were sure it was okay to take off your shirt, slowly trailing his lips down your body and looking up at your eyes every so often to make sure you were okay with going past making out, insisting that you didn’t have to return the favor after he made you come on his tongue. 

tonight, you were on a double date: you, yunho, mingi and his newest fling, a girl a year younger than you guys. the two boys had become incredibly close within the past months, sometimes you’d even come home to see them hanging out without you; but it made you happy, it felt good knowing your best friend and your boyfriend liked each other. 

and mingi’s girl was actually really cool and sweet, she was a lot more friendly than the other girls he usually hangs out with. they’d been talking for about four months now and you both have become quite close of friends, sneaking off into the bathroom as girls do during these types of things. 

“you and yunho really are so cute,” she says softly. “i know you guys were holding hands under the table.”

a small, embarrassed giggle leaves your mouth as your hands fly up to your cheeks. “stop!” 

“better than mingi!” she says, “cheeky fuck was trying to finger me under the-”

“oh, my god!” you squeal, slapping your hands over your ears immediately. “stop it! he was not!” 

“he was!” she squeals, her own embarrassed laugh leaving her now seeing your cheeks redden. “he’s so crazy.” 

“oh, my god yunho would’ve died,” you tell her, “he’s so shy with stuff like that.”

“have you guys...” 

you shake your head; you guys had covered most of the bases already, clumsy hands and muffled moans under his blanket or in your elbow. but you guys always got interrupted before anything could happen, whether it be by parents or phone calls. but it also seemed as if yunho was...apprehensive, almost overly concerned that you’d regret it or not want too. 

“well i can’t imagine why,” she says, drying off her hands with a paper towel, “he can’t seem to keep his hands off you.”

for the reminder of dinner, you brain is wracking over the conversation from the bathroom. you’re not saying you wish yunho would try to do the shit your crazy best friend tries but you’ve been...more than ready to take the next step for the past few weeks now. 

so after you guys depart and go back to yunho’s empty house, you make sure to tell him.

“are-are you sure?” the boy asks, “i told you i don’t mind wait-”

“no more waiting,” you say, leading him into his room and kicking the door shut with your foot. you’re about to kiss him, tug him down by the front of his shirt to meet your lips when you ask. “unless... do you want to wait?” 

you giggle against his lips when he mumbles “no way,” your mouths connecting and your tongue slipping into his mouth. you fumble over to the bed, clothes littering the floor before your hands and mouths explore each other’s bodies. you moan out when his long fingers toy at your clit and enter you slowly, wriggling your hips toward him in an effort to make them go deeper. 

“more, yunho,” you mumble breathily, “please.” 

he responds with a kiss to your lips, his finger sliding in deeper and then adding another one when you ask him. after you come you lie on your back in bliss and wait for him to enter you, little whines leaving your mouth as you lay there wet and ready.

and you have to imagine this first experience went as good as any first time, his large length entering you and your tightness adjusting around him until he’s able to pick up his pace. it’s a nice feeling, you certainly wouldn’t call it bad, but it also didn’t feel as mind-blowing as its claimed to be. 

yunho thinks otherwise though, thrusting into you with a final loud moan before rolling over and onto his back. and because he’s him, he’s quick to clean you up and guide to his chest. his hand runs over your hand soothingly, his touch as sweet as him and you can’t help but smile against his warm skin. 

“wait, you’re really complaining that he’s too nice, y/n?” mingi asks a month later in disbelief, “am i actually hearing this right?” 

“you don’t get it,” you say, slapping your hands on his counter in frustration. because you know it sounds like an absurd complaint to have about your boyfriend but... “we’ve almost been dating for a year and we’ve never had a single fight. he never disagrees with me, it’s almost like he just...agrees on everything with me to avoid a fight.” 

mingi’s lips purse to the side in thought, cutting his sandwich down the middle; he had noticed that actually, how you mostly led the conversations and opinions. which he always found ironic, given that you’re typically the more shy and timid individual. 

“i mean, that is a little odd...” your friend agrees but you see the reluctance on his face. “but c’mon, it could be worse. he could be a dick.”

“i know,” you squeak, snatching the other half of his sandwich off his plate and taking a bite despite his groans of protest. “but like...i don’t know, it’s just a little frustrating. like boring?” 

“hm,” he hums, a smirk crossing his face before he looks at you. “sounds like you’re frustrated about something else as well.”

your eyebrows furrow together at the boy, shaking your head at him despite the fact that he’s spot on. “okay, mr exhibitionist, not everything is about that.”

a snort leaves him as he rolls his eyes. “apparently it is, mrs. i wanna be choked.”

“i never said that!” you squeak, a deep red blush rushing to your cheeks that only makes him laugh harder. 

“i’m kidding,” he says, “but really. if you’re not happy with him, you should tell him.”

“i know,” you sigh, “but it doesn’t seem right. because he doesn’t do anything wrong. that seems very...i don’t know, selfish.” 

“it’d more selfish to not tell him, i think. to just lead him on into thinking you’re okay with everything.” 

you eyebrow raises at his comment, surprised by his slightly insightful comment. “you just want what’s best for your new best friend,” you playfully whine.

“new?” he asks, reaching out to bop the tip of your nose. “i’ve known you forever, y/n.” a small, shy smile crosses your face because there’s always something about him calling you his best friend that makes your heart tug.

and because your best friend was right, you sit down and talk with yunho a few days later. you tell him about your concerns and he tells you about his and you end up coming to the conclusion that perhaps you’re better as friends instead of significant others.

mingi comes over that night ready to mend a hurt heart, because break-ups no matter how amicable, are hard. but he’s happy to discover you’re okay and the two of you have a sleepover like old times. except this time, you share your bed and somehow end up falling asleep with his arms around your waist. 

park seonghwa was merely a test, a known ‘badboy’ player at your high school who hasn’t had a serious girlfriend a day in his life. you figured he’d be a good test since as of lately, your mind has been...overflooded by thoughts of your best friend. thoughts you absoluetely shouldn’t be having. 

because now you don’t only seek out his touches, playful grabs of your waist when you and your friends play manhunt or needing to have skin on skin contact during move nights, but it’s gone deeper.

waking up from a dream in a cold sweat and an ache between your legs. the sounds of his deep voice in your mind, flashes of his broad shoulders and wavy red hair and plump lips that you just want between your-

“seonghwa,” you moan, gripping his hair tightly as his head is buried between your legs. 

the boy made it very clear: only call him when you wanna get off and he’ll do the same. and it made for quite a convenient arrangement during these past few weeks, waking up every few days from another sexually explicit dream of your very familiar neighbor; it also didn’t hurt that he had quite the skilled tongue. 

“moving you,” is all he says as a warning, flipping over to lay on his back before guiding your hips back to his face. you quickly get the hint and start to lick him up and down, slipping him in your mouth and bobbing your head up and down.

the room is full of muffled moans and chokes, pressing back further onto his face as he bucks his cock further into your mouth until you both come with a loud cries. 

you flip over onto your own back, catching your breath before sitting up in his bed. “always a pleasure, mr park,” you say playfully causing him to snort.

“that’s the forth time this week, y/n,” he hums, “what has you so pent up?”

you turn your head to look at him and he recognizes the look on your face all too well, a smirk crossing his face.

“or should i ask who?” 

your mouth drops open slightly, eyes roaming his face because how the hell does he know? 

“i’m frequently used for unrequited love,” he says lowly, throwing a wink your way. “so is it an ex or a friend’s boyfriend?” 

“my best friend,” you sigh out after a few moments, throwing your naked body back down on the bed and rubbing your hands over your face. “i never thought of him this way and now all the sudden i’m...”

you end up telling seonghwa all about your friendship with mingi, explaining to him how long you’ve known him and how close you’ve always been before you noticed it morphing into something very different. because the more you thought about it, the more you realized just how quickly you’d forget or drop other boys because of him. how you were always comforted best by him, how you sought him out in times of distress or excitment and felt most comfortable with just you and him. 

seonghwa hums thoughtfully at this information, taking it all in before nodding his head. he only utters a cryptic “interesting,” before tugging on his boxers and asking if you wanna get food. 

you do the same thing next week with him, work up an appetite in the form of exhausting sex that numbs your mind until you both get food at the only late night diner open in town. and for a relationship based solely off sex, you and seonghwa find it easy to talk. it’s light-hearted conversation, picking fun at teachers and students you mutually dislike until your plates are polished off and you leave cash on the table.

seonghwa opens the door for you to leave just as mingi walks in with a group of boys, smiling at your friend who meets yours gaze. 

“isn’t it past your bedtime?” he quips, ruffling the top of your hair. 

“oh, shut up,” you spit, sticking your tongue out and poking his chest lightly. seonghwa watches the exchange with a smirk, mingi’s eyes catching his gaze. 

“hi, seonghwa.”

“hey.”

mingi has heard far too much about seonghwa’s reputation, expressing his concerns to you over and over about the boy. but you insisted you knew what you were getting into and that appears evident before his very eyes, seeing as how seonghwa’s arm has snaked itself tightly around your waist. 

there’s a few moments of awkward silence and you bite your lip in confusion, squinting your eyes at the harsh expression on mingi’s face. 

“can i meet you at the car?” you ask, turning to look up at seonghwa. “i have to talk to him about something.” 

“sure,” he says, smirking down at you before squeezing your hip. “but don’t make me wait too long.” 

when the sound of the door shuts, you look up to see mingi’s eyes following seonghwa’s departing figure. 

“hey,” you say, standing up on your tippy toes in hopes to block his view. “what’s wrong?” 

“i don’t like him,” he grumbles lowly and you let out a small groan.

“mingi...”

“he’s not good, y/n,” he says, taking a step closer to you, “especially for you.” 

“oh? and why’s that?” you ask, turning your head to the side as you raised your eyebrow at him playfully.

“he just... isn’t,” he grunts out deeply, your eyes widening slightly at his tone.

“i know what i’m doing, mingi,” you say, poking his chest lightly. “it’s the same thing that you do.”

because you’ve seen how many different girls he’s had flings with, how he’s exactly the same as seonghwa in the sense that he’s never had a real girlfriend.

“that’s how i know he’s not good for you, you deserve more than that.”

you smile softly at the boy, lifting your hand to rake your fingers through his fluffy hair. “it was my idea to start with him,” you hum lowly, “don’t worry, okay? i’ll see you tomrrow, yeah?” 

his eyes roam over your face, feeling your heart contrict when he meets your gaze. you’ve watched him grow over the years but his eyes have always been the same, brown and soft as they look right into you. 

“you’ve had a lot of dumb ideas but that’s probably been your worst.” 

you let out a small giggle, poking his cheek lightly before turning around. “enjoy your pancakes!” you say over your shoulder, giving him a knowing wink that has a smirk pulling at his lips. 

when you plop down in seonghwa’s passenger seat, he looks over at you with a shit eating grin on his handsome face. 

“what?” you squeak out, pulling your eyebrows together at his expression.

“you guys are both dumb,” he laughs out, shaking his head. 

“what do you mean?!” you yelp, refraining from hitting his arm.

“you guys like each other” the boy says, “actually, you’re probably in love.” and when you don’t say anything because your cheeks are too busy flushing, he makes it ten times worse by adding, “and he definitely wants to fuck the shit out of you as well.”

song mingi was your best friend of eighteen years. you were there for each other during everything: bullies and fighting parents and boyfriends, true, self-proclaimed best friends until one day the inevitable seemed to happen.

because you always wanted to believe you and him could just be friends, that platonic relationships between a boy and girl are absolutely possible. but it quickly became obvious that wasn’t the case for you both. 

the middle of senior year was when the change happened and it was because of something as cliche as a drunken night. the both of you stumbled up to his room, his parents gone for the weekend visiting family, with a box of pizza in hand. 

“you know how-” the boy hiccups, “you know how i know i love you?” 

“how?” you whine out, stumbling over to his dresser to look for a pair of sweatpants. 

“because...i would never eat this shitty pizza,” he groans, “but i-i know it’s your favorite and i like when you’re happy.”

you giggle into your hand, taking out a pair of black sweatpants before not so gracefully sliding your jeans down your legs. and because you’re in the state you’re in, mingi turns just in time to see you fumble over your inside out pants, running over to catch you last minute with a chuckle.

“oh, my god, y/n.”

he carefully lays you back on the the carpet, your druken giggles and flushed face distracting him from the fact that the only thing covering your lower half is a small, black thong. he’s doing his best to not let his eyes drop, training his face right on yours but he thinks that might be making it worse. staring at each other with you under him, your eyes hazy and hair splayed out on the floor.

“mingi?” you say suddenly, tone quiet and soft as you look over his face.

“mhm?” he hums, moving his hand so he’s grazing your hair. 

“do you-do you actually love me?” 

his eyes squint at you before they roam the rest of your face, his hand twitching with the need to reach out and touch your face. 

“of course i do,” he says before getting out through gritted teeth, “you’re my best friend.”

because you never gave him any indication you wanted more, the way he’s wanted more since he hit the age of 14. he thinks it’s why he was never able to date a girl, far too distracted in kissing and fucking away the obvious need in to be with you. too busy comparing all of them to you and your connection.

“i don’t mean like that,” you whine, “i mean like...”

he waits for you to speak but you never do, just the sound of your heavy breaths filling the room now. 

“like what?” 

but you only shake your head, not wanting to be humiliated and the cliche, tipsy girl who pronounces her love to her best friend. “nevermind,” you mumble, arching your back to stretch and reach out to grab the pants you dropped.

but he’s quick to grab your wrist, shaking his head as his eyes remain on you.

“tell me.” 

his grasp on your wrist and the deep demand in his voice causes you to swallow nervously, that familiar feeling brewing in your lower stomach; but your humiliation, the fear that you could potentially ruin everything outweighs it. 

“it’s nothing, mingi,” you say quietly, “can we just eat the piz-”

“tell. me.” 

his eyes are burning into yours now, your teeth digging into your lip now because okay, maybe your arousal might be outweighing all of your rational thoughts. 

“you want to,” he hums lowly, his face lowering to yours, “i know you do.”

and whether it was your doing or his, your lips suddenly connect and bring a sense of immediate gratification. moans muffled by each others mouths, his hand fisting your hair as you bring your own to his cheek. he pulls away to kiss down the skin of your neck, mumbling your name and “finally” as you throw your head back in pleasure.

because it’s just the fact that it’s his lips, his tongue, his voice that has your veins flooding and coursing with excitment and lust. 

“i’ve wanted you for so fucking long,” he mumbles against you, his large hands running up and down your sides. 

“me too, oh...my god,” you whine, snapping your head up to look down at him; the sight alone makes you clench, biting the flesh of your lip to surpress another moan. “mingi, please.” 

and you only have to ask once for him to scoop you up and place you on the bed, his body hovering over yours as you pull at his shirt. he takes it off in one fluid motion, portraying his bare chest and shoulders causing your mouth to turn up into a smile before it’s quickly replaced by his lips. 

he hits every spot inside you with ease, your eyes rolling back and shrieks filling the room that you’d normally be embarrassed by. but then the sound of his moans and groans filling the room made it impossible to stop, the both of you breathing each other’s names and proving just how long you’ve waited for this. 

you know what you did that night was meant to happen because the naturalness of it all almost seemed impossible, how easily your lips and bodies melted and fit into one another.

you fell asleep on his sweaty chest after hours of pleasure, listening to his rapid heartbeat slow under your ear. the last thing you heard was his deep mumble of “i love you” and you woke to a pepper of kisses on your cheek. your eyes popped open and heart soared when you saw him, the sunlight shining through and surrounding the strawberry-haired boy. 

“hi,” you say softly, lifting your arms out to snake them around his shoulders and pull yourself into his chest. he chuckles into your messy, morning hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. you stay like that for a few moments, close and warm and breathing each other in until he pulls back to ask how you’re feeling. 

“good,” you say quietly, your cheeks flushing at the sight of him in bed, in the morning light next to you. “really good, actually.”

“yeah?” he mumbles lowly, “and why’s that?” 

you pick your head so your chin rests on his chest, wiggling your eyebrows playfully at him. “no reason.” 

a mock look of hurt covers his face, his eyes narrowing at you which quickly causes to you to place a kiss on his cheek. “kidding!” 

he smile softly, bopping your nose lightly before pulling you back into his chest. you spend the morning never leaving his bed, light kisses and soft giggles and quietly spoken love confessions. 

and when you both hear the his front door open, his mom’s voice calling his name, your eyes widen and you scramble to put on clothes before running downstairs. you hadn’t even realized you were hand-in-hand, fingers intertwined, until his parents stop and look at you. both of them blankly stare, eyes moving from your flushed faces to connected hands, before his mom lets out a high pitched squeal of “finally!” and his dad groans.

you both watch as mingi’s dad takes out his wallet and hands over a $100 bill to her, side-eyeing the both of you as his mom snatches it and runs over to envelope you both both in a hug. 

“you couldn’t have waited a few more months,” his dad grumbles.

“i knew you’d get together before high school ended!” his mom squeals, pulling back and letting out an aww when you hide your flushed face and giggle in his chest. 

“mom! what the he- you made a bet?!” 

“okay c’mon, you guys, it was obvious,” she says, bouncing off into the living room excitedly with a full heart. because she knew nothing made you both more happy than each other, her and your mom swearing from day one that this was destined to happen.

she watches an hour later you both at the kitchen counter, mingi smearing peanut butter on your face as you giggle and throw a piece of cheese at him.

you both make your sandwiches before cutting them down the middle, giving each other the bigger pieces out of instinct. mingi leans down to place a kiss on your lips as you rise to your tippy toes, giggling against one another before mingi asks if you’re allowed to be both his bestfriend and girlfriend. 

[lunnamars]

somebody wants you - chap 1

First attempt to write about LuNami, one of the ships I love the most!

A quick reminder that English is not my primary language, so forgive me for any mistakes. 

And our daily disclaimer: obviously, I don't own anything in One Piece because if I did, Luffy and Nami would already be together. Yeah.

You can read in AO3 and FFNET.

Chapter 1 - fissure

“Why the hell did you come with me, Luffy?”

Nami had been wondering that since the moment she left Sunny. Usually, the redhead tended to do the same activities during the time they stopped to recorder the Log Pose, especially while no fuss was yet to be settled. And as she believed that today would be no different, she thought she’d just need to divide the money between the crew members, say goodbye to everyone and go looking for her beloved clothing stores.

The magnetization would take around forty-eight hours, so it would be enough time for her to enjoy the city center, looking at stores after stores very calmly and still enjoy a little bit of the festival that would happen the other day.

I mean, if it weren't for the captain at her side.

For some reason, Luffy had stated loud and clear that he’d make company to Nami today and that "please, Usopp and Chopper don't cry" ("But they are already crying, Luffy.") because they would definitely explore the island together the next day.

That was an hour ago. Incredibly, neither Robin nor Sanji joined her and only the captain actually remained. Not that she minded spending time with the boy, quite the contrary - discreetly, Nami always tried to take advantage of any opportunities to be with him when it appeared.

After all, when you love someone, spending time together is always welcome.

Yeah. Love.

Not a crush, not an infatuation, let alone an affection from very close friends.

Currently, it was much more than that and Nami would no longer deny it.

The girl has been in denial for so long that since she finally managed to admit to herself that no, all this affection and concern can’t be just friendship, everything seemed to be much lighter. And it is not as if the whole world knew too - only Robin (and for the record, it was not of her own free will) because, let's face it, Nico Robin, unfortunately, is a very perceptive person.

Oh, and a certain pirate woman too.

So, as she knew that her archaeologist friend knew, Luffy's unexpected company could only be…

"Robin! She said that you needed my help!!". He happily exclaimed.

Sure. And in what exactly, Robin?

"I see... and she said what kind of help I needed?"

Nami was facing the fitting room mirror looking at the reflection of a completely electric Luffy running from side to side. As the redhead has been around for a long time, the captain's hyperactivity was nothing new, but she knew that the girl at the store was about to go crazy with so much random yukata that he picked it up and threw it in her hands.

"Tomorrow's festival! She said that you really wanted to go, but that neither she nor Sanji could help you choose the clothes, so she said I could and here I am! Nami, Nami ... look at this yukata? What do you think of this? Look at this one!! It's that-

"BE QUIET!!". Nami screamed and Luffy pouted.

"Namiiii-"

She had no option - she had to hit his head. And it's not that the navigator got angry by the captain's fussiness, but that she knew very well why Robin had suggested it and why Luffy had accepted it. But honestly, she just wanted to have a peaceful day.

She just wanted to have one day without thinking about Monkey D. Luffy.

But okay, Nami is a grown woman. Her times of throwing a tantrum with the boy and being angry because of her own feelings were no more. If fate (Can I also say that fate is called Robin?) decided that today she would have to endure all the shenanigans of her best friend, so be it. She is much more than her unrequited feelings.

Their friendship is much more than her unrequited feelings.

In reality, the redhead never got to confess. Today she can identify that these feelings have always existed since the moment Luffy put the straw hat on her head, but it was only five months ago that she finally realized. Coincidentally, when she met Boa Hancock, the Pirate Empress.

The navigator admits how childish she was - what she deciphered that could have been a serious crisis of jealousy. Nami never thought that she could feel this much jealousy in her life and it almost ended the spirituality of the Empress's visit. Right from the start, the redhead didn't like how Hancock talked to Luffy, how she hugged him, how she looked at him, let alone how she said over and over again that she was going to marry the boy.

This caused her to simply raise hell inside the Thousand Sunny, raging at anyone at any time and even being rude to the woman. Obviously this didn't go unnoticed by the captain and Nami is almost sure that it was the first time that Monkey D. Luffy called her out seriously, which left her feeling so apprehensive and guilty that, in the end, it was enough for her to wake up.

"I don't know what's your problem, but you're not acting normal. Hancock is our visit and she's my friend. I will not let anyone mistreat her, not even you, Nami."

On the same day, the navigator addressed the empress alone, apologized and gave a lame excuse that she didn't even remember, but she knew that the words of the beautiful pirate would be forever marked in her mind.

"I know you don't like me because you're in love with him. I completely understand and don't judge you. But deep down, you know you’re not enough for him, don't you? Don’t get me wrong, I’m saying this it's what I see. He’ll always have to save you and you will never be able to really pay for everything he did, don't you think? Are you sure you could live in such a relationship?"

Few things have hurt Nami deeply - the impotence in the face of the murder of Bell-mère, the inability to save her village from Arlong, the need to discard a good part of her childhood for a greater cause… and now, the words of Boa Hancock. Each sentence felt as if the empress was sticking a knife into her chest and turning. The raw truth of the shichibukai's words remained with Nami in the same way that her tattoo remained on her arm after all this time.

She remembers how much she cried that day hidden in the bathroom after the party for the Kujas pirates ended. Deep down, she knew it was all true - she loved Luffy more than anyone could imagine, she knew that he really always found a way to save her from any situation even if she didn't ask, but that she was always with a heavy heart because at any moment, what the hell would she do if he got hurt irreparably because of her own weakness? She knew it was an unbalanced relationship.

She knew all this.

It hurt to finally stop pretending to herself and at the same time discover that she really wasn't enough.

However, the other day, Nami was a totally different person with Hancock and the entire crew. No more angry faces or snarky remarks - she tried to be as nice as she could, since the empress, despite giving a dirty look at the two women on the crew, did no harm to the navigator. Besides, Nami was fully aware that she was acting like a child just because Hancock was right in all of her observations and all the redhead could do was just accept it.

Besides, it's not like Luffy has any idea what it means to like someone more than a nakama. Nami didn't even have to confess to know that the captain didn't really see her that way. Few words were necessary to confirm this fact and she would be lying if she said that his firm denial about the mere idea of ​​possibly being married to her had not hurt her either.

This escaped from his mouth shortly after Hancock's departure when Usopp and Chopper were messing with him about what he thought about marriage and romantic relationships since the beautiful pirate left no doubt about her true intention with Luffy. One word leads to another and Usopp, incredibly impertinent, asked if he had already thought about this type of thing about his female crewmates.

"Haa? No!! Robin is too old and Nami doesn't always do something fun. I don't think it would work, shishishi."

It really took the redhead by surprise - so much that she couldn't even hit him in the head for being rude. The reaction (or lack of) did not go unnoticed by the Straw Hats, much less by Luffy. He had the usual silly and innocent smile on his face, but when he realized that Nami just stared at him with no expression, the captain became confused and soon he started to panic thinking that his friend would hit him and "please Nami, don't do anything, sorry, sorry"-

In fact, the navigator did nothing. After a few seconds, she merely gave a fake laugh and agreed with Luffy ("Maybe you're right, Captain."), but everyone realized that since then their relationship has changed almost imperceptibly just because Nami was good at lying. But secretly, everyone was trying to fix this "something" that seemed to have been broken in the past few months, but that nobody knew exactly what it was.

Not even Nami knew. She tried to not show anything, but unconsciously, she started to avoid fondling with Luffy's hair (although she is often unsuccessful), tried not to wear the hat anymore when he puts it on her head, started to draw maps more often in the library, walked away when they were to close. Still, she still enjoyed every moment she could have with the rubber boy while maintaining a safe distance between the two. Since then, Nami has been stuck in this duality of wanting to get close, but at the same time to move away.

It's not as if an abyss had formed between them, but there was a slightly open fissure so that she knew where she should be when he was completely out of her reach.

It was also unnecessary to say how much she cried hidden in the bathroom for two days. And that's when Nico Robin found out. Nami really had no intention of telling anyone - it would be the secret she would keep under lock and key. But Robin... Robin was very observant and intelligent. Obviously, she noticed how Nami came back with puffy eyes in those two days that followed the captain's statement.

On the third day, the navigator cried on her friend's lap.

Initially, Nami tried to be as discreet as possible, but something told her that Luffy had noticed and since the Empress's fateful visit, the captain tried to get close to her whenever he could. She got tired of telling the boy that it was okay, that she hadn't been upset, that he doesn’t need to worry, but for some reason, he still persisted.

The funny thing is that Luffy, in one way or another, taught her and showed her several things, including what was a broken heart.

"Luffy, honestly, you didn't have to come. You could have gone for a walk on the island with Usopp and Chopper, no biggie. And tomorrow, I just intended to stop by the festival and go back to Sunny."

The girl sighed heavily as she smoothed the boy's dark hair. Of course she wanted to spend time with him (while not - and she gave a double sigh because nothing seemed to make sense in the last few months), but Nami would not impose her presence on someone who wasn't in the mood to enjoy it. Initially, she felt super offended and enraged every time she thought about how they almost never go out just the two of them during stops around the islands because he always ran to be close to Usopp, Chopper or Zoro, but nowadays she simply accepted that this is how it is.

Deep down, she wanted him to yearn for her company just as she craved for his, but you can't have everything, right? Luffy's friendship is one of the most valuable things that she possessed and she definitely would not lose everything due to selfish desires on her part.

Luffy accepted the pat on his head and just tilted his face expressionlessly.

"You don't want me to stay here, Nami?". His suddenly serious tone really surprised her.

"Of course I want. I just don't want to make you do something you don't want to do, you idiot. I can manage here without any problems. I'm sure you would rather go exploring the island than to look at clothes with me, nee Lu-"

"Would you prefer Sanji instead?". Luffy asked in his characteristic blunt way and Nami was startled again. I usually want your company, you idiot in a hat, the redhead thought, holding on the urge to roll her eyes.

"Haa? I didn't say that. I just meant that you would have more fun if you had gone with Usopp or Chopp-"

"Yoshi!! If you don't mind, then let's continue, Nami!! There are still other yukatas here that I separated- Oe, Nami! What time is the festival? Do we still have time??". The boy opened his eyes comically and Nami held on tightly to keep from laughing. He himself just said that the festival was tomorrow and has already forgotten. It's almost impossible to be upset with you, you fool!

“Calm down, Luffy. The festival is only tomorrow. Let's do this way: you finish helping me choose a yukata for the festival, then I buy you ice cream and you're free, what do you think?”

"Ice cream?? I want ice cream, Nami! Now?"

Another hit on the head.

"Didn't you hear what I just said, you moron??!! AFTER!!”

Luffy pouted and Nami almost gave in but preferred to keep her scowl on. The captain really managed to be uncontrollable when he wanted to.

"Okay, but you have to help me too, Nami! I’ll need clothes to go to the festival and you always say that I dress badly, but I’ll show you that you’re crazy and wrong."

"Are you going to the festival?? Why?? And… c-c-crazy? …CRAZY??"

The redhead raised her arm to beat Luffy up, but he was faster - he threw the yukatas on the floor and ran. But before leaving for the men's store, he looked at Nami from head to toe and said in a simple and cheerful way something she never imagined hearing from him.

"You look very beautiful, Nami! I think this is the best you have tried so far!! Shishishi."

And she could neither answer nor prevent her face from blushing.

.

.

.

.

.

バカ baka.

[hiagainyou]

ღHaikyuu Oc Blurbღ

So I wanted to talk real quick about these two specific Haikyuu ocs I have because I love their dynamic so much and I just love these two they were literally made for each other.

Inaba Yachiyo

"Yachiyo knew he was gay from a young age.

So he repressed it.

He knew that being gay would bring about dishonor and mistreatment, his parents would more than likely disown him if they found out.

So he never took any chances.

Never showed any affection toward guys, no hugging or compliments or smiles or being too playful, and only sought after girls no matter how much it disgusted him.

He blamed himself for his feelings, for longing to be embraced or intimate with a man.

For crushing hard on the guys in his class.

For wanting to hold their hands, place kisses on their foreheads, to cuddle with them, to even say I love you to the right one.

Toward the beginning of his 3rd year these feelings of self loathing and anguish tampered off, Yachiyo was already accepted into the college of his dreams and being away from his parents and starting anew was all he needed.

He could finally be his true self, to be comfortable in his own skin, and not have to give a shit about what anybody thought anymore, didn't have to bare the mounting pressure from his mom to get married to that "nice girl down the street" or to have children to "make their ancestors proud".

He'd rather be a disappointment then be unhappy for the rest of his life."

And then there's Watanabe Raiji, who's backstory I'm just figuring out, ⚠️⚠️trigger warning implications of sexual assault⚠️⚠️

"Basically Raiji was taken advantage of physically when he was in I wanna say middle school and he blamed himself, he thought it was because he was too trusting andet people see how vulnerable he was, so in order to remedy this he started boxing and quickly shut people out, fighting/taking his frustrations out on anyone who wanted to get close to him, and his parents sought out help once he got into one too many fights and they had finally gotten what had happened out of him. Went to therapy for it and come College tried to accept the fact that what happened wasn't anyone's fault but the person who did it to him. When he met Yachiyo he had told him to fuck off and put up his walls but after some therapy sessions and self reflection he went back to Yachiyo and tried again with the whole friendship thing. Which means when he met Iwaizumi he reacted the same way with being cold and cut off so maybe Yachiyo tells him that Raiji has been through it and just needs some time and well they eventually get together"

And to put it simply

Yachiyo and Raiji are honestly soulmates

They found each other at the right time

Yachiyo needed someone to accept him

And Raiji needed to learn how to trust people again

If they hadn't got with Iwaizumi and Oikawa respectfully they would've 100%, without a doubt, gotten with each other

Like these two UGH I just love them so fucking much

I'm literally sobbing because I can't find the little blurb I wrote out for their relationship but basically Yachiyo goes up to Raiji all sad and pouty and Raiji immediately asks him what's up and Yachiyo has tears in his eyes and asks Raiji of he thinks he's annoying and doesn't want to be friends anymore, Yachiyo has a crippling fear of people not accepting him for who he is and just pretending to, because Raiji always pushes him away when Yachiyo gets affectionate and Raiji cups his face and tells Yachiyo that they found each other at the right time and that he loves Yachiyo with all his heart and soul and the only reason he keeps pushing Yachiyo away is because he isn't used to having so much affection all the time but he wouldn't replace Yachiyo for anything in the whole entire world and kisses him, platonically of course, and that they actually do kiss platonically a lot, not in front of their boyfriends, and they have days where they just spend the whole day with each other and just chill.

Like lemme wipe the fucking TEARS outta my eyes I'm fucking sobbing.

[prongsmydeer]

Ayesha Liveblogs One Tree Hill S1

No matter how many times I watch the pilot I consistently forget that Nathan and Peyton used to date

“Don’t bother showering tonight” is that really your come-on Peyton I will never understand sports

Lmao @ Nathan and Peyton “OTP: Distracted Driving”

“You’re despicable, you know that,” said Dan, a literal future murderer

I’m always so thrown when ppl in shows start drinking at their workplaces like what kind of bold behaviour Whitey you work at a high school

“What are you wasting your time at now?” Nathan ur a terrible boyfriend

“I say that the people who pray here are wasting their time. God doesn’t watch sports” I know Lucas is pretentious as all hell but this is my favourite line in any sports show ever

Karen is such a good mom ahhhhh like she just wants Lucas to be happy and she knows he’ll put other people’s happiness first 

Dan calling Lucas ‘this kid’ like he’s not his wholeass son what a dick

It’s not lost on me that Keith telling Lucas stories about his father means that it’s Lucas’s grandfather Keith Scott is truly the only dad in this show who matters

“So why’d you just tell me all that” because he loves to monologue

“If I could [change the fact that Lucas exists], I would” Dan answer your door I need to send you a very rude telegram

I am in love with Moira Kelly and also I want Karen to punch Dan

The music of this show is really.... transcendent 

Djhfkjhfkjh since Lucas is implied to have like, five friends.... is that crowd of supporters hugging him just a bunch of people who think Nathan is a dick

I admire Lucas for deciding he was gonna put up with all this bullshit to do something he loves

Omg I forgot that Brooke wasn’t in the pilot she’s such a major character

“Nice hands” “Nice legs” Emo flirting in a jock setting lmaooooo

My inner 2007 angst awakens every time I hear Gavin Degraw. He is THAT bitch

“You ever think I might want to talk” Peyton and Nathan’s relationship is truly nothing but blind horniness they have nothing in common at all in this juncture of their lives

“I didn’t invite you to come in, I just asked if you wanted to” Peyton is so weird but I kind of want to marry her. Is this what Lucas feels like

Lucas’s economic status is really part of Brooke’s romance criteria at the age of 17 they teach the bourgeois early huh

Oh my god I cannot BELIEVE Jake recommended Atlas Shrugged to Lucas jhjhgjhgjh the undertones of this basketball show really are about capitalism

HAHAHAH Nathan’s word being “revenge” calm down Sasuke Uchiha

I haven’t said so yet but Haley is so very endearing she’s great

God. Lucas turning around to reveal to Dan that he’s cast away his name. HE is that bitch

Ghjkghjkgh Keith hissing at the rude Boosters mum. Love of my life

“Maybe he’s gay” “No, I think he’s just nice” who writes this dumbass show

“Do you even care that it’s slipping away” maybe it’s because I went away for university but the idea that someone is this deeply invested in their kid’s high school basketball career is. A lot

Nathan simultaneously trying to bother Lucas and pass English while about to fall in love: I can multitask!!!

Update: He also managed to trash Lucas’s favourite basketball court somehow in all his business. He really can multitask!

“If it makes you feel any better I called some woman a bitch the other day” [giggle] I love Karen and Lucas’s relationship

Haley is such a good friend to Lucas and hoo boy Nathan when do you grow a conscience

“You’re both so broody. You could brood together” that’s it, that’s Peyton and Lucas

These emails and VCR references are really dating this show

Nathan is a straight up sociopath in these early eps my god he humiliates Lucas publicly twice at this party and just pops over to Haley like “Hey cutie :) Idk why Lucas is so mad :) I’m rlly nice :)”

Nathan really taking his girlfriend’s car to hit on another woman how much of a crapbag

As soon as I said this he (drunk?) drove her car into a streetlight my god 

Deb and Karen having a nice lesbian coffee shop AU would be a pleasant turn in this show instead of literally anything that happens in either of their narratives

“Why would you even go there” “Because I loved getting dumped on” That is... accurate

“I’ll call you when you’re not so PMS” said Nathan, when his (ex) girlfriend rightfully lambasted him for crashing her car

I take it back Peyton and Nathan do have one thing in common it’s their disregard for traffic laws

HELL YEAH Keith IS your dad Lucas <3 <3 <3 <3 

Whitey talks a lot of shit for someone who advised Dan to abandon Luke 

I had been wondering why Lucas had the Scott name when Dan is such an ephemeral piece of shit and I guess there’s my answer thanks Karen 

Does Haley ever find out about the shit Nathan pulled at the party I feel like these are relevant details in her budding affection

“Dad send you to spy on me? Poison my drink?” This is the second time in two episodes Deb has been accused of being Dan’s spy I wonder if she still considers that a red flag 17 years into marriage

“One of the boys doesn’t have a father” BUUUUURN Dan

Rhkgjhgjkh the last moment of this scene:

Keith: There is enough room in my heart for each of my brother’s mistreated sons even the rude ones Nathan

Nathan, experiencing a split second of paternal love: :O

Ghkjghkjgh the Scott bonding in hatred of Dan continues with Lucas asking Nathan if he too would like to spite Dan:

Lucas: You will be receiving your “I Hate Dan Scott” Club invitation in the mail shortly Nathan, mom, Uncle Keith and I hold meetings biweekly

Nathan: Biweekly as in every two weeks or twice a week 

Lucas: Both! See you on Tuesday

“Does this mean we’re dating” yes it does the mixed CD is emo code

“Good luck with your game” “yeah, you too, Ma” hehehehe

Someone revoke this college medic’s license hoo boy

Ghjghkgh Lucas keeping his money tucked into his boxers what a doofus

I can’t believe Nathan and Lucas’s second big bonding moment is threatening dudes while in their boxers after beating on each other what a brotherly bond lmao

Okay but highkey if ur a lady and ur friends are gonna leave you alone and vulnerable at night get new friends

“I can live without my shirt” Nathan is thirteen shades of petty lmaooo

Dan is such a bad (abusive) father that Nathan literally would prefer to have none at all my god 

“Can I tell you a secret? I pretended too” just get marrrried 

“Thanks for cutting Lucas some slack” talk about accepting the bare minimum Haley kjhgkjhgkj

Brooke is really unbearable in this episode is it any wonder her, Lucas and Peyton’s relationship is as dysfunctional as it will soon become 

Hoo boy the one (1) time Nathan doesn’t do something douchey and he gets blamed for it 

LMAO @ Lucas approaching the one girl at this school with commitment issues with a bold “I wanna be here [in your heart]” hahaha

“Yeah, they can have their world,” said Lucas to Haley, about the two people they would literally go on to marry

The fact that Peyton doesn’t turn off her webcam and just covers it also really speaks to the era

This Gabe dude is really ready to assault a minor like he’s not just a r*pist he’s also a predator double KO 

It is not lost upon me that it looks like one pill has been popped out before so he is also a serial r*pist big fucking yikes

“What, you got a cellphone too, dawg? Things sure have changed” also quite dated hahahaha

They really went out of the way to redeem Brooke not only did she give Nathan and Haley a very very cute date she also saved her friend from being assaulted

“So you don’t have any brothers, do you” jhgkhgkhg Brooke please 

“Why are you only nice to me when we’re alone” a very legitimate question Haley

Nathan’s dating methodology: There’s nothing in life that can’t be solved with make-outs

Deb is really so nice but every time I look at her I think of her drinking a lot and sleeping with Nathan’s friends lmao

Haha that North Carolina sign explains the mild Southern accents 

Aieeeeeeeeeee you kiss that man and follow your dreams Karen

Even if Nathan is still A Lot this season him and Haley are so cute:

Haley, smiling: We can’t do this here right now

Nathan, giggling: We just did

Lucas says more to Dan by constantly leaving with a look of disgust than any words ever could

“My heart’s racing too. That’s what happens when I’m around you. (And on drugs. I’m very unstable Haley.)”

Lucas and Nathan’s very intentional “pressure from your dad” and “you don’t know anything about my dad” bc Lucas will not acknowledge that Senor Crabag Sr. is anything resembling a father bless 

Drunk tattoos with crush’s bff Lucas has decided to make all mistakes at once and I respect it

Poor Keith he is trying his best but Lucas just chose this week to hit his rebellious phase

YESSSSSSSSSS DEB KICK THAT ASS OUT OF THIS HOUSE

“Do you really think that Nathan would choose you over me” uh???? Are you not aware you are... the worst father in town

Brooke you were fully aware of Peyton and Lucas’s vibing and actively pursued him/interfered so you have no moral high ground to be like “:) I’d never choose a boy over my friendship”

Skillz and Mouth accurate “hoo boy don’t look” when ur friends start PDA

“Mom doesn’t want things to get back to normal, she wants them to be better” hell yeah Nathan gaining emotional intelligence

Lucas quit projecting your childhood issues onto Jake he too is a child let him decide how he wants to live Jenny’s 6 months old not like she’s gonna remember lmao

Damn Nathan LET LOOSE on Dan fuck that dude

JGFHJGFJGFJH I forgot Gavin Degraw had a cameo hahahahah

Did Luke.......... break into Jake’s house. His parents work at night how was he able to get into Jake’s coffee table

“You do not have to feel like a third wheel” The pure dumbass energy.... Peyton is literally CRYING do u really think her issue is “third wheel” you KNOW she and Lucas had a thing Brooke???????

Me watching this team form a brotherly bond over their mutual love of basketball: Mayhaps sports are... good 

Hahahaha Lucas threatening Peyton’s dad with a rake is weirdly endearing

“Hey you.” “Hey you, and you,” is a good summary of this seasons Brooke/Lucas/Peyton dynamic lmao

Why is Dan’s head... shaped that away. It is like a bar of soap

“I don’t mind you playing ‘Daddy’ to one of my offspring, but leave the good one alone, will you?” Dan. Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot at midnight and we’ll have words

“The whole Nice Guy thing is wearing kind of thin” foreshadowing for all the dick moves Lucas is about to pull lmao

“He’s got you skipping school now?” “Lucas talk to me when you get your tattoo removed”

Lucas:

Lucas is such a meddler lmao how many family dynamics is he going to alter

I don’t trust Dan being nice for a minute all he wants is the upper hand with Deb in the inevitable custody battle over Nathan

Props to Nathan and Haley for somehow, some way, being the only normal couple on this show despite their incredibly dubious origins lmao

Scott family dinners are bananas I count four (4) major revelations and they haven’t even revealed that Deb and Dan are separated

Lucas and Peyton are really hitting every fictional couple trope in this ep - road trip, bed sharing, hurt/comfort, truly the YA bases 

“The truth? In this house?” Props to Deb for drama lmao 

Brooke saying ‘I love you’ you’ve been dating for like two episodes but okay kjhgkjhg

I can’t say I understand Nathan’s logic lmao but I guess they have to bring him back to basketball sometime

Wow Lucas zero hesitation on that second kiss lmao u r a mess

This scene is the definition of “that escalated quickly” they go straight to undressing 

HAHAHAH NATHAN BEING SHIRTLESS IN HALEY’S DREAM FOR NO REASON 10/10 TEENAGE ACCURACY

“How do you explain being with me and not her?” “Because with you, I saw a future” that’s Dan code for ‘I’m a gold digger’

You’re literally macking on Peyton in the middle of the hallway while you’re dating the other most popular girl in school Lucas how are you this ridiculous and bold BREAK UP WITH BROOKE U DUMBASS

“So what are we going to do” I’ll tell you what you should do BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

Keith it is still daylight out stop bringing alcohol into this high school you have a drinking problem

“Can’t control love, you know?” THAT’S NOT ADVICE LUCAS BREAK UP WITH BROOKE

I really can’t handle watching Keith and Lucas self-destruct this episode how is Nathan the only Scott in a happy, healthy relationship

“You know that this is... wrong, so that makes it feel... deeper?” Lucas asks, as if he were not entirely in the wrong by carrying on with Peyton (who is not in a relationship) while dating Brooke

“I don’t want to hurt Brooke,” he said, about to start his third secret cheating makeout session of the week

“But then again our spouses aren’t here are they” [Deb opens door] COMEDIC TIMING

Gjjhgkjhg Nathan revealing his messed up intentions with Haley entirely by accident Scotts have no self-control whatsoever it’s their kekkei genkai

Lucas evading responsibility for his romance crimes by literally dying

Hahahah Karen’s confused vibes at Brooke are kind of the highlight of this episode 

How funny would it be if Lucas woke up to Karen scolding him about his tattoo

Hahahaha for such dysfunctional partners Nathan and Peyton are excellent exes 

AHHHHHHHHH LUCAS WAKING UP TO HIS BROTHER... MY HEART

Keith rlly was gonna propose after zero (0) days of dating I’m telling you no self-control is truly the Scott clan kekkei genkai

Ahhhh bless Karen’s compassion 

Dan is literally blackmailing his son into staying in his custody he is in Deb’s words an “abusive son of a bitch”

Fucking finally Lucas ends this sham of a relationship with Brooke

It’s wild that Nathan is the only Scott with a happy and healthy romantic relationship 

Nathan divorcing his parents is a real power move 

I’m glad Haley announced Sheryl Crow’s name because let me tell you I would not have recognized her on sight

“How’s my daughter” Lucas really chooses exclusively to hook up with people who have devastating emotional consequences for his immediate friend group huh

“Funny I didn’t know you were forgiving at all” Lmao Peyton is that really the position you’re going to take after cheating with your best friend’s boyfriend 

All the deodorant product placement lmao ‘this ep sponsored by Secret’ 

All things considered I think Lucas is handling Haley’s constant ditching p well 

Bfhkghghjg Keith buying a new shirt just to go to dinner with Karen stop

OH MY GOD THE EP REALLY WAS SPONSORED BY SECRET IT’S GOT SECRET ON THE CHEER COMPETITION BANNERS AND A LITTLE GIFT BAG RANDOMLY IN ALL THE CHEERLEADER CONFRONTATIONS JKGHKJGH

The comedic timing of “hungover idiots” panning to Karen and Larry kills me

“She used to be this totally original.... Haley” what does this mean????

I don’t think Nathan and Haley are being entirely fair to Lucas bc he was only a dick once she ditched him twice (or thrice?) in one weekend 

This boy toy auction as a concept is so inappropriate on so many levels

“I get Nathan for free” Fhjkfhkfjh Haley pls

God I was so very concerned about whether or not Nathan and Peyton were gonna kiss 

“You’re not a mess, you’re just in love” [Ole Del Paso Girl voice] Why not both?

“She’s nine months old, just in case you forgot” to be fair I assume Nikki gave birth so she would remember that you can’t hold that one over her 

It must take Lucas some mental disconnect to assume Peyton and Nathan are cheating when he also kissed Haley

Fhjfhkjfhjfh Keith fulfilling my fave trope of ‘we are not even dating but how about we get married bc we’ve been repressed in love for years’

“You know I asked your mom to get an abortion,” said Dan, to his literal son

I really can’t figure where this pregnancy storyline is going bc I know Brooke doesn’t have a baby

Nathan and Haley really need to consider oral or smth there’s a middle ground between making out and having vaginal sex

“It all hurts just the same” Brooke really out here trying to say that cheating is in any way equivalent to faking a pregnancy (even if only for a week)

Peyton and Brooke are way more invested in each other than Lucas 

“I got you a high five” Hahahhaa I love Peyton 

Gary like: Wow Nathan it’s humanizing that your father is an abusive dick

“Maybe this is the one that changed him” Lucas joining Dan as the second and only non-Dan member of the Dan Scott Apologism Club

It’s wholly unreasonable that Haley expects her boyfriend not to look at p*rn lmao

I love all this Lucas and Nathan bonding but I hate that it comes at the cost of Dan being near them at all u stay away from those boys u manipulative fuck

Ah the foreshadowing about Peyton changing in front of her webcam finally pays off

I’m no legal expert but I don’t think that taking your daughter out of state will help you in the custody battle in the long term Jake - nor will dropping out of high school

“What do I get out of it” r u 4 real Keith u dont get payment for loving your family

“I’m leaving because I can’t look at you anymore without my heart breaking” I like you Keith but that sounds like a You Problem

This is a fun way to shoot this episode One Tree Hill has such good directing tbh

Nathan discarding the Scott name from his jersey just like Lucas did in ep 2: 

Haley: Having sex will solve all of my problems Nathan what are you talking about

I remembered that at some point Deb and Keith have sex and I’m glad they fuck things up early bc I could not deal if it was later on

“I’ll miss you too, little brother” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

KJKGHKJHGJHKJHGKJHKJ I CAN’T BELIEVE NATHAN AND HALEY GOT MARRIED JUST TO HAVE SEX THIS IS WHY THEY DON’T LET PEOPLE YOUNGER THAN 18 VOTE

[rainstormcolors]

I was asked this: “what would say are your favourite friendships in ygo? :D”

I realize this would be an easier question for me to answer if the word used here was “relationships.” The dynamics Seto shares with Mokuba, Atem, Yugi, and Isis are my very favorite relationships of the series, and these relationships are all messy and ill-defined and yet push through those barriers to have moments of genuine connection (either one-sided or from both sides), and that connection within the messiness and murk form a lot of the meat as to why Seto’s my favorite character to begin with.

Of those relationships, the only one I’ve called friendship would be Seto’s relationship with Atem; and it is by no means a traditional friendship. But it becomes a friendship by Seto and Atem’s own definition. Seto’s heart was rigidly closed off from people and the only means he had of communicating--the only thing he was willing to allow himself--was through conflict. He becomes razor-focused on Atem in what begins as two wounded teenagers lashing out from their dark spaces, but they grow from that shadowy place, and across the stepping stones of the series Seto seeks out these battles with Atem. He wants those moments of connection between them, and dueling becomes his tool for fostering this relationship. Again, it’s very unorthodox. But this was the avenue of bonding Seto allowed himself and he found something worth pursuing. From Seto’s own perspective, Atem opened his heart to friendship. As an audience, you can name it what you want, but I’ll allow Seto to define it for himself. Atem himself was also a person who bonded through battle and Seto was the person who allowed that part of him to thrive. His relationship with Seto was something unique and liberating for him. And he greets Seto with a smile at the end of DSoD. It is not the standard definition of friendship: it’s their own definition of friendship.

I also enjoy the friendship squad of YGO: Yugi, Atem, Jonouchi, Anzu, Honda, and Ryo. Their moments together are peppered across the series, and it is the little character moments I appreciate in combination with the grander ones. Ryo explaining how he stayed up all night working on his tabletop game; Yugi asking Honda if “this” was the snake that made him yelp, “this” being a vine; Anzu’s clumsy but amused expression as Atem finally becomes comfortable on their date because she brought him to a card shop. Things like that. The bigger moments speak for themselves but I feel the smaller ones deserve a mention too.

I think the bond between Yugi and Atem is probably the most fleshed out relationship of the series overall. They share a kind of heart-link from the very start, move from the unknown to become sacrificing for each other. I feel they share a very sincere brotherly love, though I’m open to people having their own readings of course. They get their small moments together too. I love it when Atem teases Yugi about wearing more silver chains to impress Anzu. It’s such a human moment.

Yugi and Jonouchi’s bond is the most fleshed out relationship within the early portion of the manga. I do feel the Yugi/Atem and Atem/Kaiba dynamics steal the spotlight from it as the story progresses. But moments like Jonouchi reaching for Yugi after the confrontation with Hirutani, or Jonouchi confessing how he used to hate himself, or Yugi telling Jonouchi he loves him are tender things. Yugi believed in Jonouchi even as Jonouchi mistreated him, and that gesture spurred Jonouchi to try being someone better. In their own ways, I think both of them felt lonely, and they found each other.

I believe these three bonds form the sails of the series: Yugi and Atem, Yugi and Jonouchi, and Atem and Kaiba. The former two are more overtly poignant, but I think together each is meant to illustrate a different form of friendship.

The meetings between Jonouchi and Mai, Anzu and Mai, Anzu and Mokuba, and Mokuba and Atem are also ones I enjoy. I think “friendship” is something of a new concept for Mokuba, and apparently I headcanon him as someone who might form crushes easily because of his confusion over newfound affections.

Ultimately, I tend to gravitate to the messier relationships that somehow break through to find some warmth. The sense of finding something meaningful in the face of inner conflictions and loneliness are most pronounced in those kinds of bonds for me. But I enjoy all these bonds, and I can see the love people have for each of them in their own ways.

It's a multifaceted question, and I'm glad I was sent it. Thank you.

[heka-write]

Merlin Rewrite #4: The Arthur-Gwen-Lancelot Triangle

This addition to the series will be both about the individual characters, and the relationships between them. After all, the former is what determines the latter

Gwen’s Role in the Story: 

I feel like once the story hit it’s second season, Gwen’s character was really just reduced to love fodder for Arthur and Lancelot. 

In season 1 we are introduced to Gwen as a shy and nervous village girl. She had lived in Camelot her entire life, and had obviously had to deal with hardships in her family (only a father living with her, brother and mother were visibly missing). She has to deal with being treated as lesser than from the privileged royals, as seen in the many episodes where she is constantly scolded or tried for magic. She has a friendship with Morgana where they talk openly about their problems with one another  (Morgana trusted her with her secret of Mordred in “The Beginning of the End”, and they both decided to go help Merlin in “The Moment of Truth”)  and even Morgana’s interest in other royal men/knights. 

Then Season 2 comes around, and Gwen is suddenly a lot more poised. Her movement is more graceful, her clothes are definitely a glo up from season 1,  and she suddenly is able to criticize Arthur with ease in “The Once and Future Queen”. Like Morgana’s character, Gwen’s seemed to have gone through a personality transplant, albeit a lot more subtle. 

Just look at how she criticizes in Arthur in Season 1 vs Season 2. 

Vs. Season 2, where she is suddenly a lot more articulate and bold. Her words are crafted perfectly and there is no hint of her being nervous at all. 

Maybe it’s just me but clip 1 sounds like a shy, normally hesitant girl who just had to speak up because she saw something wrong, something a royal wouldn’t understand. We know she has great respect for Arthur (as noted in the first clip, “I have faith in you”) but something happened that she just had to say something, despite her nature. 

Clip 2 sounds much more like a headstrong girl who kept her mouth shut because she felt like she had to until her bold personality exploded and she couldn’t contain it. She even says later she thinks he’s an ass, which is a bold statement for a shy girl who said “I have faith in you” so many times to believe. 

Not that there is anything wrong with the latter personality, I just don’t think it was true to Gwen. I feel like they had to mold her personality to make the couple happen in such a short amount of time. 

I feel like in season 1, she was meant as a shy girl who would speak up Arthur did something objectionable, and then come back into her shell. In season 2 she is more hesitant on the basis that he is royal, but she has a bold view on him nonetheless. 

Look at how she talks about Arthur in season 1 and 2 when he’s not around. 

Even in Season 1 “Le Morte d’Arthur” where she is praising him while he sleeps, she is a lot more hesitant and shy about it. She even denies she praised him after he wakes up. Whereas in season 2, she openly trashes him like she didn’t like him at all. 

I feel like Gwen was originally supposed to have admired Arthur from afar but known up front he was an arrogant royal she could never have, like the typical nerdy girl who has a crush on the jock. That’s why she called him a jerk in the first episode and said “who would want to marry Arthur” while secretly professing her faith in him while he was asleep in the season 1 finale. 

 IMO, season 2 seemed to have turn her into the girl that Arthur wanted, and the “only one” who called him out on his shit and then made him fall in love with her. They seemed to turn her into a Cinderella like character who is graceful and poised but stuck in poverty until the prince sees her and falls in love with how great and confident she is. They seemed to flip the script and instead wanted her to be the one who was desired, not the one who was desiring and admiring Arthur from afar. 

Now I LOVE the idea of Gwen going from a shy, nervous village girl to the confident and graceful Queen of the kingdom. The problem with the show, however, was that like Morgana’s character there was no real gradual development. She ends season 1 one way, and starts season 2 a completely different way. There was a big leap in her development. With Gwen, the writer’s went from A-C instead of A-B to B-C, just like they did with Morgana in the end of season 2 and the start of season 3. 

The Arthur and Gwen Relationship 

Not only was Gwen’s development rushed, but it felt like her relationship with Arthur was rushed as well. The same episode where she calls him out for the second time, they fall in love and are kissing. Considering they only interacted twice in season 1, their progression felt very fast. The basis of their relationship was that she called him out, okay. But is that really it? There was nothing else they could have added before having them kiss? And then having 10 different episodes where Arthur almost marries someone and pines for Gwen so they can show how “In love” these two are.

For Arthur, as the show stands, I don’t really know what Gwen brought to his character that Merlin already did. Merlin was already criticizing him, Merlin was already helping him become a better person and a better King, etc. 

If I were doing this relationship, I would make them have a similar connection that Merlin had with Morgana in “The Nightmare Begins”. I will address my feelings on the Merlin and Morgana relationship later, but what is relevant now is that Merlin could understand Morgana’s struggle of figuring out she had magic and feeling alone and afraid of it. He empathized with her pain and reached out to her because of that. They were able to form a quick friendship because of it until later in the season. 

I would have Arthur and Gwen have a similar connection, as they were the non-magical beings in the main quartet of the show. I would probably have them both bond over their love of Camelot. Gwen lived in it her whole life, living amongst the people and the bustling city, and Arthur grew up being taught to care for it and make the best decisions for it. 

I could see them bonding by Gwen teaching him more about the actual village life, not just the politics and the royals behind it. This concept would be an expansion of the “Once and Future Queen” episode because it wouldn’t just be Arthur living in her house for one day; it would be him continuously getting to know the citizens of his kingdom on a personal level. I wouldn’t have them bond just in one episode and then decide they are in love, I would let it happen gradually. 

There’s also the fact that they both seem to have lost their mothers at a young age. They both have a lot of responsibility, Gwen with running her house after her father and brother are gone and Arthur with ruling the Kingdom. There are a lot of things that their characters could have bonded over, but instead of taking advantage of that I feel like the writer’s just rushed to have them together with blaring violins in the background. 

I could see Gwen showing Arthur to love the parts of the Kingdom (and the people) he wasn’t exposed to due to his sheltered upbringing. I could see her continuously calling him out the way she did in season 1, and him genuinely learning from her. This would be a new perspective brought into Arthur’s vision since Merlin did not grow up in Camelot. We would actually see Arthur seeing her love for the Kingdom he also loves. 

I could also see Arthur slowly helping her out of her shell. Not only does he have a huge ego that he can share (lol), but he could show her not to be afraid since he’s a trained fighter. If anyone could reassure her she’s a help to the kingdom, it would be him. 

The Gwen-Arthur-Lancelot Triangle 

The love triangle that is so infamous in Arthurian legend, was very underplayed and underutilized in the show. 

Gwen and Lancelot seemed to have a genuine attraction to each other in the first and second season. Once Arthur had taken over as King, however, it seemed Gwen and Lance was brushed aside for Arthur X Gwen with the cheating scandal being all magical compulsion and not real feelings. This lead to really boring conflict, imo, because we all knew that Gwen was innocent and there was no question that she would find her way back to Arthur. There was no real question or complexity in the situation. 

Obviously, I don’t condone cheating IRL but I do think it would have been much better for the show if Gwen did actually had an affair with Lancelot. At the time of the situation, Arthur was increasingly starting to act like Uther. He decided he would fight against magic, he was mistreating his citizens, following what Agravaine told him to do and following tradition instead of improving it. I could definitely see a situation where Gwen gets put off with Arthur losing his humanity and compassion, and she turns to his rival (Lancelot) who still embodies those attributes. 

Heck, we could avoid the cheating aspect of the situation altogether if they did an Arwen slow burn. Arthur could be ready to confess his feelings for Gwen and ask her to go steady but stops when he sees her getting close to Lancelot. Seeing them could kick start his development by asking what he was doing wrong (becoming like his tyrant father) that made Gwen choose his rival over himself.

This situation would be a lot more interesting because Gwen’s feelings would actually be conflicted between the two men, instead of having the audience already know. Having the love triangle influence Arthur’s development would affect the main plot of him accepting the poor/magical people and changing the old ways of Camelot. 

Conclusion: 

Gwen’s character, and her famous relationships with these two men were seriously underdeveloped in the show. I think what I presented has a lot of potential for interesting conflict and the show should have followed suite, imo. 

[snowbellewells]

OUAT for the fandom ask?

Give me a Fandom, and I’ll tell you:

Thank you for sending this my way @tomeandflickcorner!! :)

Favorite Male Character: Sheriff Graham / the Huntsman

(I hate to admit that it’s much harder for me to choose a single favorite male character than it is to choose a favorite female character - it feels disloyal to my gender or something…) Anyway, there are so many possibilities here, both Killian and David/Charming being very close here too of course, but there’s just something about the tragic Huntsman/Sheriff that we lost way too soon. I simply adored him and will always think he deserved his happy ending too… ) 

Favorite Female Character: Belle French

(I may not have always liked how she was made into a sometimes-secondary character or prop for Rumple, but I still love Belle. She’s still so goodhearted and kind, despite all of the times she has been mistreated, let down and disappointed. She would do anything to help someone else, she’s quirky and clever, and I loved Emilie deRavin’s portrayal of her. I just wished we could have had more of her in her own right and bravely fighting with the rest of the hero team.)

Least Favorite Character: Tamara (did she have a last name?)

(There were several solid possibilities here: I got so sick of Regina as Evil Queen, that I was tempted to put the Evil Queen here, though Roni in season seven eased that a bit. There were also times I was tempted to put Gold/Rumple, but in seasons one through three, I did feel for him or enjoy his character.  Neal could easily be in here as well, and certainly Eloise Gardner and Victoria Belfry too.  In the end though, not only do I dislike Tamara, but unlike her co-conspirator Greg, she doesn’t even seem to have a motivation for her badness and she never really made sense in the story. She’s taking up time characters I care about could have had. Let’s just say that’s one time I honestly cheered a little when Rumple crushed a heart…)

Favorite Ship: Captain Swan 

(There will probably always be a fond “what could have been” place in my affections for Gremma, and I’m a huge fan of the headcanon ships of Red Huntsman, Naval Beauty, whatever one might call Belle and Graham.  But as far as real, canon ships, it’s absolutely Captain Swan.)

Favorite Friendship: I really love Snow and Red’s friendship in the Enchanted Forest, but it never really quite carried over into Storybrooke in the same way.  So probably it’s a tie between Captain Book (Killian and Belle) or Captain Charming (Killian and David) for favorite friendship.

Favorite Quote: David’s “Life is made up of moments…” speech to Emma in 3x10 or the Essay Henry wrote about his family and Storybrooke in 7x20.

Worst Character Death (if any) : Sheriff Graham’s death in 1x07 will never NOT break my heart. It’s the worst in my book. Robin’s in 5x20 is senseless and painful and right up there too. 

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment: “You traded your ship for me?”  “Aye.”  (There’s not really much else to say there - just sheer perfection!)

Saddest Moment: The very end of Season Seven (and therefore the show itself) That “Leaving Storybrooke” right there on the sign, saying it was really over. :(

Favorite Location: Camelot (I had wanted them to go there and tackle Arthurian legend for so long!  I was so psyched that they went there - and really wish they would have stayed there longer.)

[scatterpatter]

If you don't mind me asking, how did your last relationship end?

Normally I wouldn’t answer something like this, but this ask made me think/reflect and uh... I guess I just wrote a big vent about it. I kinda bottled up my feelings, but I wrote em down here. Please feel free to ignore this- it’s very venty/personal and touches on mature themes and such

It was just a relationship where everything I did was thewrong thing, I guess. If he did something that made me uncomfy, and I spoke upabout it, it would either cause him to immediately pretend to be offline andget so dejected that I had to comfort him about it… causing me to feel guiltyfor saying anything in the first place, or- and this started to happen more andmore often as time when on- he would get mad at me. And it would become aconversation on whether I should’ve been upset(or that I should’ve stopped himbefore he did something that made me uncomfy) rather than a conversation aboutthe thing that made me upset.

So uh. As you can guess I learned to keep my mouth shut. Andthat worked for a while, he seemed happy so that was good… but then if he didsomething that scared me, I would just kinda… step away for a while. But thatwas the wrong move too, because he got mad at me when I would go a few dayswithout talking to him because that’s a Bad Friend thing to do…. So yeah, itwas just. Everything I did was the wrong thing.

I also wasn’t trustworthy enough. Every time someone in aserver or an anon showed any sort of affection towards me or regarded me as a friendor someone they looked up to, he was convinced that they had a crush on me, andmade sure I knew that so I could distance myself and make sure no feelingshappened. There was a time where he was legitimately worried I’d leave him fora minor(said minor did not have a crush on me and I had no feelings for them)…so… I don’t know what I did that portrayed me as so unfaithful, but I guess Idid something wrong, right?

I guess I also just… wasn’t enough? Like- he got worriedthat I was too close to Jazz and would leave him for them… but then also wouldsexually flirt with a few other friends(Jazz included) in front of me… whichcaused me to constantly fight to go “Hey! I’m enough!” Which… well, lead to alot more dominating in sexting that I didn’t want to do but kinda had to do toprove I could dom and be good enough in the relationship… and still got laughedat every time I tried to claim I could dom. By multiple people. I just wasnever enough. I was just a bratty sub that could never satisfy him, so I can’texactly blame him for going to other people for sexting and stuff.

I also never sexted enough. I’m not really that horny of adude, my libido just… wasn’t as strong as his. And that was bad because… well,he would be down when I wasn’t and that’s bad. After we broke up and tried tostay friends we were… trying to sext(friends with benefits style) but I optedout because he said something that made me uncomfy(basically, once again, I hadto “prove” I could dom… this was a recurring theme) and when I mentioned that,was told he doesn’t get much action nowadays and that was really the only wayhe knew how. So yeah, it was stuff like that, I just wasn’t enough. Wasn’t domenough, wasn’t sexting enough, even my vents weren’t entertaining enough andgot shut down in a vent channel once for boring him.

How I acted was always wrong too. Going back to how much he insistedthat numerous people had crushes on me… he developed trust issues with anonsand such. And then I developed lots of trust issues(currently working on unlearningthose, it’s actually going pretty well!). He said I wasn’t being mean enough,had to be more insistent, yadda yadda… and praised me when I stood up to peoplemistreating me! Which that was nice, he was helping me grow a backbone… but uh.When it was him I stood up against,that was… suddenly the wrong thing. I got called an absolute prick, was told toget over myself, so on and so forth. I blocked him before he could say muchelse.

So uh yeah. My last relationship/friendship ended because Ijust… wasn’t enough. And all of that negativity and inferiority just made mefeel so miserable that I couldn’t take it anymore. So I uh- got out. Feelsweird to reflect back on that to be honest… I just hope my current crush thinksI’m good enough, ehe…

[eirenical]

Enjolras and Jehan or Luke and Lando please? :)

OH, HEY, HOW ABOUT BOTH.  BOTH IS GOOD.  XD

(If anyone else would like to send me platonic ships/friendships, feel free!)

Enjolras and Jehan:

who steals french fries off the other’s plate?

Jehan.  And I don’t think it’s so much stealing as that he just assumes that all plates are communal?  If he orders food, there’s a general understanding that anyone else at the table is welcome to take anything from his plate that strikes their fancy, so he just assumes that goes for everyone else, too.  ^_^

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple?

You wouldn’t think it, but Enjolras.  Jehan is just super aware that not everyone is open to casual public shows of affection, and since he’s been known to be so free with his own, he’ll often wait for others to initiate before he joins in, unless it’s someone he knows is just as into casual affection as he is (like Bahorel or Courfeyrac).  And since Enjolras knows how careful Jehan is about boundaries AND how much he always welcomes public affection, no matter how random it is, he often takes that as an invitation to play with being more publicly affectionate, to step out of his comfort zone a little.  So, when someone asked if they’re a couple, Enjolras just cuddled up to Jehan and start planting kisses on his cheeks and his head and Jehan was DELIGHTED and just rolled with it.

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail?

Jehan is as fierce as any of Les Amis when the chips are down, but Enjolras and Bahorel try to do whatever they can to prevent him from ending up getting arrested, because he’s just a touch more sensitive than the rest of them, a touch more easily hurt by harsh environments and people.  So, it’s pretty much always Jehan bailing out Enjolras... except for those occasions when Jehan’s Fierce Side takes over and then WATCH THE FUCK OUT.  For example, there was a really memorable time when Jehan stole a whole litter of kittens from a pet store that was mistreating them and when Enjolras went to bail him out, it was to find him on the floor with a bunch of way more hardened criminals than Jehan, all playing with the kittens.  He wasn’t sure whether to bail Jehan out or let him have another couple of hours of playtime with his new friends (who of course, ended up adopting several of the kittens once they were out of jail ;D).

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues?

...Jehan TRIES.  But his dating advice is just always a little... off.  Not everyone finds graveyards poetic and charming, for example, and Jehan can’t understand why.  Not everyone appreciates being gifted live bats as a courting ritual (^_~), either, and that could have been a disaster if Enjolras hadn’t asked for a second opinion.  But Jehan is A+++ on the comforting side of things.  And honestly, the same really goes for Enjolras, too.  He’s just not so good on the advice side of things--it really surprises him, for example, that not everyone would enjoy watching labor union historical documentaries as a first date--but he is A+ on the comforting when things go wrong.

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes?

Jehan.  And Enjolras would object, but Jehan is really SO, SO BAD AT IT.  REALLY shamelessly bad.  Like, not-even-trying-to-hide-it-bad.  When he’s done, he has 7 aces in his hand and Enjolras just looks at him like... we are only playing with one deck and I have two aces in my hand, what are you even doing?  And Jehan will cackle and say, “There ARE no rules in Go Fish!” and pull 5 more aces out of the pool.

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk?

Jehan.  He likes to be closer to the stars.  THAT being said, half the time that he calls the top bunk, he ends up cuddled up on the bottom bunk with Enjolras, anyway.  ^_^

who starts and who wins the pillow fights?

They’re fairly evenly matched, I’d say, both equally likely to start them and equally likely to win.  Jehan, however, often spends an entire pillow fight stealing Enjolras’ pillows and making a giant pillow-bed on the floor.  He then “wins” by virtue of having all the weapons.  They both end up cuddled in the pillows and falling asleep, pillow fight forgotten.

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush

Jehan.  Only... it never quite comes out right.  He’ll start off well, all suave and seductive and waggling eyebrows, and then screw it all up by saying something like, “So... don’t you think my pants would look better on your floor?” instead of the other way around.  And since Jehan’s fashion choices are always... let’s say... creative... the crush often shudders and responds with something like, “YES.  YES, THEY WOULD.  OR IN THE GARBAGE.  FREAKING A, JEHAN, WHERE DID YOU EVEN FIND THOSE???”

And how about Luke and Lando in another post, because this is going to be too long otherwise...  ^_^

[xesoteric-extraterrestrialx]

Sorry to everyone for not having a chance to post lately.. Been dealing with harassment and abuse... I wrote this the other day when venting after my dad went psycho on me for taking a shower. I'll probably end up deleting this cause it's really personal and I quote other people to express and try to explain what I'm going through, just need to vent, sorry for being a burden.. 😔

Does anyone else's dad get a hard on from harassing you? Like, you don't even do ANYTHING and they just try to find any reason to try and harass you? Or your sibling does shit that pisses them off so instead they take it out on you? It's like he gets some sort of sick satisfaction from abusing me. Did I mention he stands and listens outside my door like a creep? (Caught him standing outside under my window just creeping too) I can't even take a shower when my dad's home cause he tries to find any reason to try and fight with me so he can turn the water off and fight // see me in a towel, it's REALLLY disturbing...

It's funny 'cause he'll yell at me and tell me he's going to kick me out (When he's the one who told me to move back in after I had already moved into my own apartment; long story the people upstairs wouldn't stop partying, which was a problem for me since I was working full time. I vented to my sister who told him and he offered to do the basement so I could "save up for collage and save up for my own place again" but I was a fool to actually believe him, really a fool. When has he ever helped me, ever? When has he ever been JUST nice to me? Can't even think of ONE time.. I should have never moved back into this abusive household...) for JUST TAKING A SHOWER. Literally, I just got kicked out of the shower that was only 15mins long and his reasoning "You're in there an hour!" Really? 'Cause I have to time my showers since this isn't the first time he has done this and I was rushing to be out before 20mins but nope, water is cut off. My brother can take a literal 30-an hour shower and his girlfriend someone who doesn't even live here can take a separate shower whenever but I try to take a shower once or twice a week (while he's home) and EVERY TIME, I'm harassed. (This is why I have to take showers when no one is home but I worked out late and wanted to take a quick one, thought I'd be safe but I can never feel safe around that sociopath.. Needed to get some more footage of his harassment so at least I have that for my lawyer...)

It's kind of like how during this past summer when it was hot as fuck outside, I wasn't allowed to use the AC BUT when my brother was home HE was allowed to use it. My dad would go crazy on me if I put it down just so the fan's on just to be able to breathe in the heat but wouldn't even bother my brother about it and then when the weather became cooler and cold enough outside where you don't need AC on, my brother was still using it and received no harassment! But oh no, if Janine puts it on the world has to end. Sexist. Another example: I used to work for his business and would try to go above and beyond with customer service and do what was needed so his company would sound professional and maybe if I did well enough he wouldn't treat me like shit for once for actually doing a good job but no, just a burden to let me work for our family business so he let me go and instead HIRED RANDOM OLD LADIES WHO DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING!! Lmao, let's not trust your own daughter who has experience in the field and has been employee of the month at past jobs but trust these people who don't even know how to work a computer. He let's my brothers work for him and gives them money even though he KNOWS he's enabling their drug problems right now and he gets pissed when they're on drugs at work but instead of confronting them about it and actually being a parent he comes and harass's ME, WHAT DID I DO?! YOU'RE MAD CAUSE YOU'RE GIVING THEM MONEY AND THEN THEY GO OUT PARTYING AND CAN'T WORK THE NEXT DAY BUT YOU YELL AT ME INSTEAD, WHERE IS THE LOGIC??!!?! WHERE??!?! MADNESS!!! INSANITY!!! I don't even want to talk about my brothers with this situation but it needs to be said not to call them out but to show how he mistreats me cause he's so sexist and harrass's me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

"I didn’t grow up in a stable home. My childhood wasn’t filled with catching fireflies outside nor did it involve chasing down the ice cream man. It involved self induced paranoia and sleepless nights where I had to become my own vigilante- keeping an eye out for the monster that did not live in my closet nor underneath my bed. This monster didn’t have razor sharp claws or scaly skin, this monster was much scarier. This monster was a human being and he slept right across the hallway from me."

I wish my mom never met this piece of shit, to think I could not even be born right now and not have to be dealing with this constant abuse, I don't even know anyone else who deals with constant harassment from their father like this, he's OBSESSED with trying to destroy me. To think my mom could have been in a normal relationship and actually been able to enjoy her life instead of dealing with this psychopath's obsession to tear down and destroy other's, including his own family. No wonder we weren't allowed to get close to his side of the family, he was afraid we'd find out the truth of how disgustingly cruel of a person he is, too bad ended up figuring it out the hard way.. "No child asks to be born. There is no excuse to treat them like a burden when their existence was YOUR decision.."

"I will not regret venting about this on going harassment, he's not sorry for harming me so I don't feel guilty for venting about his abuse. I have the right to protect myself and document what this toxic person puts me through even though they're "family." They already had their chance to be a decent human being but choose to continue to show their true colors over and over."

"I should have learnt the definition of abuse from a dictionary. You didn’t have to teach me what it meant."

"Why do I get outcasted from society and not my abusers? Why is society happily willing to aid and accept and adore abusers? Why do abusers easily get all and any resources, support, validation, acceptance and love? And victims are denied all of it and backed into corner and forced to pay for abuser’s crimes? Do I really need to deal with being rejected and unwanted by society on top of being abused? Do I have to watch the entire world side with my abusers? Is it never enough?"

"Enough excuses for parents who abused their kids but “meant the best”. They “meant the best” for themselves, not for the kids. It’s fucking easy to just rely on emotional abuse, threats, humiliation, shame, guilt and violence to get your way and to force your kid to stay in control and to sabotage and fuck up the child’s life so you would feel good about it, and then to just remind yourself “i meant the best” to feel no guilt about doing so whatsoever. Just repeating to yourself “it doesn’t hurt them” and “they deserved it” while actively forcing your child to keep all the obvious trauma symptoms out of sight or ensuring the child believes it’s their own damn fault for feeling the way they do.

You know what’s not easy? Having your parent force control of your life via emotional abuse, threats, shame, humiliation, violence. Your parent getting into your own head and gas-lighting your senses until you feel worthless and insane and like a monster, until you don’t dare to feel your own feelings, until you’re ashamed of the pain you feel and can’t see yourself as anything other than a horrible burden and nothing you do can ever change that or make you good enough. You know what’s even harder? Still believing that your parent “meant the best” and not even daring to blame them and still being forced to draw the conclusion that it was after all, all your fault, for existing as you do, for being who you are, for not ever being good enough! And then, on top of all of it, hearing the rest of the world agree with the parent’s view, pressuring you to never blame them, to forgive them, to never hold them responsible, to “be better” and understand them, to not ever try to place blame on anyone but yourself because then you’re the monster.

Just. How. Is. One. Supposed. To. Heal. From. That.

Healing can’t even begin until the blame is placed on the parent! This person literally benefited from their child’s suffering! They did not get affected negatively from it at all, they didn’t even care, they walked away satisfied and getting what they wanted while the child now has a lifetime of traumatic consequences and mental illness problems! Their freedom is taken away, their quality of life reduced, their relationships and friendships sabotaged, their confidence crushed! They’re placed at extra risk for addictions and obsessions because they keep falling into the black pit of trauma no matter how hard they try to distract and their life is heavy and painful no matter how well they do afterwards! Their brain can’t regulate stress properly anymore! Abuse causes literal brain damage and all this is just so the parents would get their way! And you all still insist they shouldn’t feel guilty about it or be faced with consequences of their abuse? They shouldn’t fucking admit to themselves and to their children what they’ve done? If the truth will kill them, let them die. Abused children’s right to heal comes way before the abusers feeling good about themselves."

"Living in the same place as a toxic person, especially toxic family member, is exhausting and damaging full time, not only while they’re abusing you directly, but at every moment because you just know they want to hurt you and even while they’re not doing it, you know they’re planning to, and you have no idea what to expect and when it will happen and how big the damage is going to be, being kept in uncertainty and constant expectation of abuse can drive you insane. It’s actually worse when they’re temporarily nice because you don’t even know what to make of it, it gets harder and harder to call them out or confront them, especially if they use fake niceness to manipulate others’ general opinion of them and to invalidate your claims of abuse. So even if the abuse is rare and the rest of the time they somewhat leave you alone or play nice, stress and anxiety is full time, incapability to stop or even voice their actions gets worse and piles up until you feel helpless and like you’re somehow in the wrong and accusing the abuser wont get you anywhere but makes you look bad instead.

Living in these conditions long term will fundamentally change your own perception of yourself, and the sense of your own importance and value, often it will result in trauma as well. Just knowing that you’re in environment that continually allows someone to hurt you, and even supports it, forces you to accept that the world considers hurting you something that is natural and normal and should be done. How wouldn’t that cause anxiety and feelings of unsafely and abandonment and of low self worth? It’s fucking terrifying you mean so little to this world they would have you destroyed just because someone felt like destroying you."

This quote always helps me through times like these..

"You don’t owe your family affection if they are being abusive and treating you poorly. I know that it’s so difficult not to feel guilty for holding back that love. I know that there are people who will tell you that you should just grin and bear it because they’re family. People who will shame you for the way you feel. People who will try to convince you that wanting to take care of yourself in this way is selfish and unjustified. But the truth is that it’s not your responsibility to be kind or loving to people who have consistently hurt and mistreated you – especially when these people continue to disregard your feelings, ignore your boundaries, and refuse to take responsibility for their behavior. Just because the person hurting you is family doesn’t make them an exception.

Choosing not to be affectionate with family who have abused or mistreated you doesn’t make you a bad person. It isn’t selfish or disrespectful. It’s a form of self-care. It’s about you honoring your feelings and holding people accountable for their abuse. It’s about you standing up for yourself and your needs. It’s about you making your mental health a priority. So if getting distance from certain family members is what you need right now, or permanently, then you have every right to withhold your love and leave. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for the sake of maintaining a relationship. And you don’t ever have to apologize for creating a safer space for yourself."

The harrasment and abuse just doesn't end, he just went psycho on me again for brushing my damn teeth, I'm not even doing anything wrong!!!