#but it's just funny seeing how much my art has evolved over the last 3 years just based on how i draw diluc
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I've been drawing diluc for over 3 years now and I don't regret a thing. He is my oc now. I'm claiming him.
#k8kat talks#genshin impact#diluc#that is my boy#he's just so fun to draw imo#i can't get enough#but it's just funny seeing how much my art has evolved over the last 3 years just based on how i draw diluc#art progress is measured in the diluc
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Post War Obikaka ramble / idea:
thinking about post war obkk where kakashi secures a deal w the council so obito don’t gotta stay in a dingy cell all the time (and to ward off the threat of obito’s execution) by essentially being like “nah we getting married, so- u can’t execute the Hokage’s husband.” Bc war criminal sure, but the Hokage’s spouse?! He goes to Obito, tells him the plan, and practically proposes in the most unromantic, unsexy way ever (“this is a last resort but pls marry me so the council stops yelling to execute u and so u can finally go out in public again”, way to go Kakashi). Obito is kinda having none of it bc he wants Kakashi to marry someone he’s actually in love w and not out of a sense of guilt or self sacrificial bs, so he’s like “no.” (note that Kakashi does love Obito and sees the good in him despite how much Obito has changed over the years, and for him, marriage was a last resort bc he thinks Obito isn’t in love w him / doesn’t wanna trap him in an unhappy marriage for “freedom” / feels guilty for robbing Obito of his choice but he wants to save him so badly he goes through w it anyways / lots of other reasons) (another note that Obito also loves Kakashi, but he thinks Kakashi’s care comes from years of idolization, pity, and a guilt complex or something and is scared of whether or not Kakashi could love him for the very flawed person he is today)
So some other bs happens and Kakashi is able to bring Obito out to see Konoha and how it’s evolving, how times r changing but how some things remain the same yadayada- he spends time w Obito whether that’s sitting next to his cell door and chatting or going out w him under the guise of “rehabilitation” (bro fr using this as an excuse to go on dates w his war criminal bf he’s so unserious). It’s through those moments that they start to repair and strengthen their bond, and to also see how much the other has changed more closely (day to day stuff yknow, domestic fluff when Obito is allowed more time outside even). With the threat of execution still looming over obito’s head, Kakashi tries to propose multiple times but is either unable to bc he doesn’t want to ruin the moment or bc Obito shuts him down bc he doesn’t feel deserving of Kakashi’s love.
Cue more moments between them, w/ team 7 in the background, more fluff, some more angsty stuff, hurt comfort, and mutual pining.
I think in the end, I’d have Obito propose bc 1) I think it gives him a bit more agency than if he were to just accept kakashi’s proposal 2) it shows Kakashi his feelings are requited, bc Obito is taking the initiative and directly telling kakashi he wants to spend the rest of his life w him 3) even w/o a ring bro got a yes and I think that’s funny asf 4) I think it’d be funny for Kakashi to have tried to propose in a bunch of elaborate ways in the fic, and Obito just does it in like a field of wheat w NO RING and that’s how they got engaged
apologies for the grammar mistakes, it will happen again bc this ain’t a fic (yet, but i hope to write a long fic w this idea), if anyone wants to add on please do. No joke, I’ll look at reblogs / chat purely to see the #lols! Or # dawg look at my Hokage I’m going to hell 😭😭😭😭
much love! (I’ve got a jonin obkk art piece that’ll be finished soon) 💕💕💕
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Hell yea! You hath summoneth me with this! You know what will happen, right?
Asks Galore Attack!
1, 10, 12, 18, 21 (I already know the answer is yes, but it's the elaboration that tends to be more interesting and revealing. Ex: what do you consider as "spiritual" in the first place? Do you see a difference between your understanding of the spiritual with those around you?), 23, 24, 34
Have fun!
Oh no how horrible, the anticipated Lyndis attack! Hi Lyn nice seeing you here :3
1. What are 3 things you'd say shaped you into who you are?
Probably my fire emblem hyperfixation and the aftermath. I played 3h, then made an instagram because of it and met a community of people who liked fire emblem, then I made several friends, got better at drawing and eventually took up 3 new hobbies! The friends I've made as a direct result of fire emblem (that includes my octopath friends! This blog wouldn't exist without fe3h!) are all wonderful and amazing and I love them AND YOU LYN!!!!
I think also one very specific thing my mom would do had a huge impact on me. Sometime in the early 2000s, she read an article in a magazine that said you always have to cultivate your kids' hobbies. She did that and I'm extremely artistic as a result. She always got me the supplies I needed and loved seeing my art. I never would've been able to start sewing or papermache if she didn't support all my art so passionately. My siblings too, she got my brothers loads of instruments and I hear them play everyday.
Last one is probably just being very mentally ill and autistic. Since kindergarten, I've always been acutely aware that I was extremely different from everyone else. It was only when I got my autism diagnosis that I actually figured out why I struggled with making friends.
10. Would you say you're an emotional person?
Yep! To a bad extent! It's fine when I smile and laugh over the smallest things but not so much when I cried for an entire hour because of the first scene with Svarog in tristrat or when I lash out at people. I show my emotions a lot I think.
12. What's some good advice you want to share?
When writing, tilt the screen downwards and write. Don't care about the quality or typos or grammatical or formatting errors, you can correct it later but you need something to correct first. I'm not old enough to have good life advice other than the thing in the last question.
18. Do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?
Yes to both! I don't know the full lore of my denomination but I believe upset or evil spirits can get stuck on earth with the purpose of making others fall to sin.
As for aliens, we have such a big universe so it's a bit difficult for me to believe aliens have never existed. Even if they're currently extinct or do not exist, I do believe life could evolve and exist on other planets at some point, but it doesn't necessarily have to be right now.
21. Are you a spiritual person?
Haha EXTREMELY funny that you ask this because I do not actually feel comfortable going in depth about the deep lore of my denomination online. Not upset you asked but yeah, unfortunately will not be answering this one.
23. Say 3 things about someone you hate.
I don't really hate this person anymore but used to.
1. He'd threaten to kill himself whenever he was upset.
2. Made constant sex jokes.
3. Dumped all his mental health issues on me and called me insane when I asked if I could talk about my intrusive thoughts because he was scared I would hurt him.
He was extremely selfish and treated me and his other friends like crap. Idk where he is now, last I checked he has a big friend group and is doing better mentally. I'm happy for him because he hurt himself a lot and I'd rather he improve and become a better person than be unhappy forever, but I'm still a bit upset about the things he did to me because I still haven't fully recovered. But again, I don't hate him. It's unhealthy to hate people, it just weighs you down and I have much better things to spend my time and energy on than actively disliking someone I haven't talked to in a year.
24. What's one thing you're proud of yourself for?
I haven't done self harm in almost a year. First anniversary is on the 15th. I've thought about it a lot but I've managed to not give in and here we are! Whenever I thought about doing self harm, I would remind myself that the reason hurting yourself is considered a sin because God loves us and does not want us to be in pain. If the urges were especially bad, I would pray and then listen to music until I felt better. This has worked really well and I'm doing much better than January last year. January last year was one of the worst months of my life so I'm very very happy and proud to be doing better.
34. Any pet peeves?
People who promote revenge or say that it's okay to not forgive someone. I understand how that may seem like a good idea in the moment, but you only hurt yourself by doing it.
"I hated my mean grandma so I vandalized her grave" cool, do you think she cares that much? She's probably in the afterlife chilling with her parents or other dead loved ones.
If your grandmother was abusive, you won't find comfort by dishonoring her. Yes, it is true you'll feel better in the moment, but it's not a good plan in the long run. You'll just be up late at night, unable to sleep because you're just angry. Please, just see a therapist and talk about how sad your grandma made you. It's so much healthier to just acknowledge grandma sucked and to MOVE ON!!! Baby stop wasting energy spraying silly string on her grave or burning the stuff you inherited from her, go to a friend and cry about how much she sucked then play video games together.
Abusive grandma is just one example but it could be anything really.
My brother is a casual berserk fan and due to his poor media literacy skills, he's pro revenge. I need to get him to read the count of Monte Cristo so he'll realize he's wrong.
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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn
Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity
ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!
Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making
i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!
Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.
ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn
Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.
gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;
Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕
honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.
Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?
hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3
Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.
i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.
Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday
dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.
Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.
extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!
Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!
ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!
Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~
Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)
Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.
hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.
i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.
anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3
Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!
thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3
Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.
this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3
Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u
ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.
Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)
i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3
Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.
honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3
honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3
Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!
honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;
Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖
ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3
Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!
to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.
Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!
anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!
Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!
wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end
HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).
Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.
ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3
Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!
i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3
Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon
i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️
anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3
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Superman #84 (December 1993)
Superman takes a short Paris vacation! Like, one day short. What's the worst that could happen?
Oh, man.
So, for the past few issues, we've been hearing about children being abducted in Metropolis. Now we see that they're being kept inside a giant toy house by some creepy bald man in Quasimodo clothes who seems to be obsessed with toys -- a "Man of Toys," if you will. Side note: no wonder the children haven't been found... all the articles about them are just gibberish! (See clip below.)
The kidnapper thinks that these kids' parents don't deserve them, and that they're much better off here, in an underground hideout with a man who threatens to starve them if they don't play with him. (And I do mean literally play, with action figures and stuff.) Meanwhile, as these children cry for help, Superman is having the time of his life. While helping move a stranded ship with some huge-ass chains, Superman spots a sunken galleon with a treasure chest inside and fantasizes about keeping the booty...
...before turning it over to the authorities anyway, the big boy scout. Then, he wakes up Lois at 6 AM and tells her they should go to Paris right now, which usually means your significant other is having a mental breakdown, but in this case they can actually do it. And so, after deciding that he deserves to use his powers for fun every once in a while, Superman and Lois drop everything and fly to France with super-speed for the rest of the day/issue.
Anyway: back to the child abduction! Cat Grant and her son Adam attend a Halloween party at Adam's school, but there's a disturbed weirdo in a hideous costume lurking among the crowd. Yes, I'm talking about Jimmy Olsen in his Turtle Boy suit.
Shortly after that, a guy in a dinosaur costume (see, all the creeps are dressed as reptiles) lures Adam out of the party with the promise of "superb video games." What child could resist that? Of course, that turns out to be the kidnapper and Adam ends up in his hideout along with the rest of the missing children and, worst of all, not a single "Lextendo" console.
The kidnapper gets angry at Adam when he refers to the toys at the hideout as "old-fashioned junk" (he was REALLY looking forward to those video games), and even angrier when Adam tries to free the other kids. Adam is brave and puts up a good fight, but...
And those were Adam Morgan's final words. "Uh-oh."
Next, we have a pretty harrowing scene of Detective Turpin letting Cat know Adam’s body was found, and Jimmy and Perry White taking her to the morgue to identify the body (most people probably wouldn't bring their former boss to something like that, but Perry sadly knows more than most about losing a kid). As for Lois and Clark, they were gone so long that the Daily Planet had time to print a headline about the murders. The issue ends when the lovebirds walk into the office smiling like two people who just spent the night fooling around in Paris... only to feel like jackasses when they find out what happened.
To be continued!
Character-Watch:
And that's it for little Adam Morgan who, unlike the also tragically diseased Jerry White, didn't even get any post-death appearances. Adam went from a little kid scared of Superman, to a huge brat, to a character who was approaching likeability as of last week. That's why I hate it when DC kills off young characters like Adam or Liam Harper: in long-form storytelling, children represent potential. Look at how much Wally West or Dick Grayson evolved over the years compared to their mentors! Sure, there's a huge probability that Adam would have ended up disappearing from comics for 25 years anyway, but who knows, maybe we'd now know him as Teen Gangbuster or something. GangbusTEEN.
This issue also represents a turning point for the kidnapper, who is never named or seen clearly in the story itself but I don't think I'm shocking anyone by spoiling the fact that he's Toyman (it's in the cover, for one thing). In his last two appearances before this storyline, Toyman helped Superman save some kids from Sleez and looked genuinely sad to learn about Superman's death, so this is a pretty dramatic change for the character. We'll find out why he went from big softy to child killer in Superman #85 (but don't get your hopes up).
Plotline-Watch:
The most disturbing part of the issue, all things considered, is still the part where Toyman climbs into a giant crib and hugs a huge stuffed bunny. Look at serial killer Tommy Pickles here:
Don Sparrow says: “Even with the upgrade, Toyman is still just a man in a suit, a common complaint about Superman’s rogues gallery.” Funny you should say that, because I JUST shared an old Wizard interview in our Twitter in which Dan Jurgens talks about how Doomsday came out of his frustration with the fact that most Superman villains are dudes in suits (plus other interesting tidbits from the era, like how it was actually Roger Stern’s idea to bring back Hank Henshaw, so check out that link!).
Don again: “The entire Superman storyline of this issue feels like filler. Diving for buried treasure and soaring off to Paris -- it all feels like wasted time next to the Adam storyline.” I have a theory that the entire ship sequence is there as an excuse to put Superman in those big chains and make that Spawn joke (which I didn’t get until now, since I’ve always read this issue in Spanish).
Superman says that pulling that big ship was "a little easier than expected" -- that's either another hint that there's something going on with Superman's powers since he came back, or a subtle dig at the state of American ship manufacturing.
Another adorable "window tap" scene for the books, and this is the sexiest one so far. Is it me or has Jurgens started copying more than just Teri Hatcher's hairdo from Lois & Clark? (For anyone who thinks Lois has gotten implants, I refer you to this clip.)
While in Paris, Lois asks Clark if he's ever wondered what would happen if his rocket had landed in other countries. Don: “Clark’s conversation with Lois sounds like a bunch of concepts for Elseworlds stories. We eventually would see a Russian Superman, and a British Superman, but not yet the French Superman. (Hire us, DC!)” Yep, got my French Superman pitch ready, Jim Lee. Or just let us do Russian Superman again, since Red Son wasn’t even the first time you published that idea.
Don once more: “Another thing that makes no sense about the ‘new’ Toyman is his resentment of technological toys—when in previous appearances he himself had deadly high-tech toys to vex Superman over the years.” I especially resent his hatred of video game consoles. Incidentally, I wonder what types of games are available for Adam’s beloved Lextendo. Star Lex 64? Mega Man Lex? Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles & Lex?
No one is more upset at Lois and Clark for going AWOL than Whit. NO ONE. He's so furious that his usually grey mustache turned black.
Patreon-Watch:
As always, shout out to our patrons, Aaron, Murray Qualie, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Samuel Doran, Bheki Latha, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush and Raphael Fischer! Last month’s exclusive Patreon article was about the recently unearthed sequel to Superman 64 for the PlayStation, featuring Metallo, Parasite, and Lois looking even hotter than in this issue:
Hot damn. Find out more at https://www.patreon.com/superman86to99!
And believe it or not, Don Sparrow has even more to say about this issue. Read his section after the jump:
Art-Watch (by @donsparrow):
I should start off my section with a big caveat: I flat out hate this issue. There were several weird decisions made in the post-Death-and-Return era (most of them along the same lines of making the Superman titles more grim-and-gritty), and this story was one of the worst of them. My theory is that, despite the praise and record-breaking sales of the Death and Return storyline, the Superman creative team felt pressure to have more extreme storylines, perhaps in response to the wildly successful Image books coming out at the time. Between this story, and the upcoming “Spilled Blood” storyline, the Super books take a hard—but temporary--turn into more violent and upsetting storytelling—even though these stories are by the same writers as the previous few years. While death has always been a part of comics, and Superman comics was no exception, there is a jarring glibness and unfeeling toward the way violence is handled in these pages that is quite different from the stories that preceded it. It’s made all the more jarring by the fact that well-established personalities suddenly veer wildly out of character, Toyman chief among them.
We start with the cover, and while it is technically well-drawn (by the familiar team of Jurgens and Breeding) it’s also a very upsetting visual. I think they should have gone with the pieta type pose with Adam and Superman, OR the scary badass bowie-knife Toyman (who apparently has a Cheshire cat smile now) but not both. But the cover is a good hint at the tonal dissonance of the comic within.
We open with a splash of the now-extreme 90s looking Toyman, with his serial killer shaved head and spooky cloak, ignoring the pleas of hungry kids he has locked up in a tiny jail cell for days at a time (if that sentence doesn’t ring alarm bells for how wrong this is for a Superman story, I don’t know what will). For much of the issue Toyman’s eyes are obscured by glare on his lenses, further de-humanizing a character who was once one of Superman’s more empathetic bad guys.
We cut to Superman tugboating a huge tanker with giant chains and it’s a cool visual (one repeated in the Batman V Superman film). It feels especially out of place to focus on, given how upsetting this issue is otherwise, but throughout the whole comic, Lois is drawn smoking hot, especially on the two page spread on pages 9-10.
The scenes depicting the actual murder, while still wildly out of place in a Superman comic, are well done, and give a real sense of darkness and menace, which I suppose is the intent. Perhaps my least favourite visual is the Big Bird stuffie, silently bearing witness to what’s about to occur.
The edges of the panels on get more slashy and off-kilter (to me, looking very much like the layouts more typically seen in Image comics of the day) and I suppose I appreciate the restraint of how little Dan Jurgens shows of the death of a child, showing only a bloody slash on a black background. This is still a pretty baroque image for a Superman comic, but certainly less violent than it could be, given what is happening.
Cat Grant’s silent horror is well staged, and powerful in its way. Lastly, Clark Kent bending in sorrow and regret is a powerful image.
While this issue is handled marginally better, and more maturely than other comics on the shelf at this time, I still believe it is one of the biggest mistakes of the era. Giving a long-established character an unceremonious death for shock value is gross on its own, but making it a child definitely crosses a line for me. Making it worse is that, while the Toyman is a criminal and a killer, he has shown in past issues (a similar kidnapping storyline involving Sleez) that he genuinely cares for the well-being of children. So for a long-time reader, this also felt like a betrayal of a long-established, fully developed character. Adding to the ugliness of this is that Adam dies heroically, trying to free the children who have been caged, unfed, for days, but even in that regard, he fails. The headline at the end of the issue confirms all the children are dead. Adam’s death did not buy the other kids enough time to get away. It was all for nothing. Had Adam died, but the other children lived, maybe this issue wouldn’t leave quite as bad a taste. [Max: It’s weird because it’s all told in a way where it’s told in a way where it would make sense, narratively and within the story universe, that the other kids survived, but then it’s almost casually revealed that nope, they died too. A scene of one of the kids relaying Adam’s heroism to Cat in a future issue would have gone a long way.]
Superman doesn’t come off well in these pages, either. It’s honestly the type of story they should just stay away from, because the more you think about all the calamity that is going on around the clock, the less defensible the whole Clark Kent persona becomes. Superman carving out time to romance his fiancée directly led to the preventable deaths of innocent children—how do you come back from that?
STRAY OBSERVATIONS:
I’m always looking for hints that perhaps Jimmy or Perry know Superman’s secret identity deep down, and Jimmy’s anger at Lois and Clark on their return to the Daily Planet offices would seem to give that theory some credence, as he’s as angry at them as if he knew Clark really were Superman. Either that, or he’s ticked that it fell to him, and none of them to escort Cat into the morgue. [Max: Has this issue finally converted you to the “Jimmy is terrible” side now, Don?]
I don’t think I’m the only one who disliked the new Toyman—SPOILERS BE HERE: years later, in Action Comics #865, Geoff Johns retconned this whole story, reverting Schott into the criminal who over-relates to kids, rather than the child-killer of this story. Apparently the infantile Schott, who speaks to “Mother” a la Norman Bates, is a robot so lifelike it fools even Superman, and the “Mother” he’s constantly replying to was the real Winslow Schott trying to recall the malfunctioning robot. [Max: That’s one Geoff Johns retcon I really didn’t mind, even if it felt kind of derivative of his similar “all the Brainiacs are robots made by the real Brainiac” reveal.]
#superman#dan jurgens#josef rubinstein#toyman#cat grant#adam morgan#dan turpin#whit#gangbusteen#super luthor fighter ii turbo championship edition
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Full review: Girly
What’s Pink, insane, NSFW, hilarious, and somehow heartwarming at points? This comic is a ride and a half, and I’m genuinely surprised more people haven’t heard of this one… I’ve been wanting to talk about this one for a WHILE.
So let’s talk about the elephant in this room… Because I think it just ate someone’s couch.
Slightly NSFW review with spoilers below.
Girly, by Jackie Lesnick was a webcomic that ran between 2003 and 2010, (and really has some of those early webcomic hallmarks). Its monochromatic pink, vertical, with a poppy early cartoon feel. It’s also listed as a romantic comedy, which is… correct, but cuts a whole lot of what makes this comic good, short.
This review was always going to be one of the 4 I really struggled with. And not just because I lost it the first time without a back up in a code glitch, got distracted by a pandemic, then procrastinated my way to finally making a second version in my new backup folder… No, well also yes but no. This was a comic I read when I was younger (and should NOT have read when I was younger), and have always had a soft spot for. I’ll admit as much as this comic has its flaws or weird moments or just weirdness in general, its one of the few comics I’ve found myself rereading in its entirety more than once. And no matter how much I know it's coming, find myself sobbing, uncontrollably, at the final panel. There’s surprisingly a lot of heart in this comic, and a whole lot of honesty in just the direction the author took this weird little thing. But, first let me take of those rose tinted glasses as much as I can… (actually that might not work too well with a pink comic seriously whats with all these early 2000s lesbian comics being PINK?). And give this old comic a look and a bit of a dust. but , first...
Sex.
Getting to the point - page 3 of “Girly”
Girly is a NSFW comic. It’s not shy about it either. It hits the audience (and the main character) over the head with it literally in the first pages. It has sex positive characters, a sex positive world, some characters with… sex powers almost, and Dildos, a whole lot of dildos. Some even with smiley faces on them. It’s a pretty unavoidable part of the comic that makes up a large core of it’s humour and is baked into its wacky world. So if that’s not your thing, and it’s not really skippable in this case, you won’t like this comic.
But, if you’re alright with that part of it this might just be a hidden gem. Moving on.
Art
Artwork is always interesting in webcomics. They’re usually one man shows, have a weird niche / strong influences, and or usually go on massive journeys as the art improves. Girly is no different here.
Girly starts out rough. Some poses are wonky and its a bit scratchy. Technically speaking it has a few issues, which is fine. Its a free webcomic, from the 2000s that didn't copy and paste faces. (Won’t name names, you know who you are). You can’t be too harsh on a free comic, though.
However, what the art style does, even early on is set the style and feel of the comic. Anime inspired faces, bold outlines, and blocky silhouettes that were really popular with 90’s and 2000s cartoons. It has a newspaper, manga comedy strip vertical style, too. It fits the style of story well as a poppy wacky story. It's the perfect art style it could take.
Its rough in the beginning, but moves on from its scratchy days, to loose pen brush, to finally a polished free hand poppy style. It gets more technically advanced as it goes along, but it keeps its core style throughout. It’s fun, a little unhinged, and just pares perfectly.
The one issue I have with the art is it comes off as a bit cramped. It certainly matches the energy of the story, but it also feels like it doesn't let the characters have any breathing room in the frame. It comes off as squashed, and can make some character poses hard to read. That’s the only complaint I can find though. The issue even fixes itself later in the story, but just very very close to the end. It looks great there, but the majority of the comic is a little cramped. Still that’s just a small complaint.
Nitpicking here but some panels need a lil more room
This a humour comic foremost. It's the biggest part of what makes Girly specifically Girly.
Humour
The humour is mostly wacky nonsense, playing off its insane characters, physics defying world, everything being dialed up to 11. It also works a lot like satire, poking at what influences it, and playing with cinematic expectations. The first page has Otra shooting someone into space on a rocket because they annoyed them, the first “adventure” the character’s go on is stealing everyone’s pants because they couldn’t find anything else to do. Then there’s the kidnapping adventures, knight trials, and slice of life shenanigans that happen. All of it as wacky as the last. I haven’t really found any other lesbian comics like it. Its not everyone’s tastes, but it is certainly unique.
If you’re into a willy wonka tunnel of over the top characters and plots, you’ll like Girly.
Characters
Girl is a LONG comic, it ran for 7 years. The art evolved, the story writing, jokes, and themes along with it. It was originally meant to run for only 50 strips... and it ended up with 764.
so, there’s a lot to unpack.
Firstly, the premise of the story is somewhat simple. It focuses on Otra. The kinda straight man to the entire universe. She starts out almost depressed, out of place, and bored of the wacky inhabitants of her world. Until one of those wacky residents smacks her over the head with a giant dildo and won’t leave her alone for the next 7 years of run time.
What follows is the sullen Otra being pulled around by the always cheery and zany nonsensical Winter as the sidekick for bizarre adventures. Otra’s depressive grounded view keeps the bizarreness funny, while Winter cuts through her negative attitude and causes a lot of the over the top plot. Leaving Otra to warm up to the world, and Winter to get less reckless as they balance eachother out. It’s a fun dynamic, and works as an emotional core of the story. No matter how weird the plot and rules of the world are, their relationship keeps the story somewhat focused and rewarding to see develop.
An example of bold wacky character designs from even early on
The comic isn’t just about them, though. As an ensemble comic there's plenty of side characters that go through arcs and beats as well. From el chubacabre, the man that woman find so irresistible that they sleep with him as soon as they see him; detective Clapjaw the street wise detective who is very bad at his job; Officer Hipbone and police guy from the cute P D; captain fist the ever popular bad at his job superhero who gets all the credit; the news reporter obsessed with captain fist; the woman with babies; Steak; the elephants that just… appear and eat buildings; among many many others. A lot of whom also have nicely written character arcs and depth in later chapters. Many of the character however are simple and remain simple, which isn’t a bad thing. For such a large cast, having a diverse range of strange characters with strong identities and looks even if a bit simple stops it from getting bogged down. It strikes a good balance. Plus there’s plenty enough of characters with more depth later on.
All the character’s are insane, and over the top in a way that really sets up the world they live in and how it works... as dysfunctional as it is. There’s something very Cartoon Network about all the characters, but with some wider influences. something about dumb characters, with very specific goals and quirks that work on their own physics to feed into the high energy insanity of the world. Its entertaining to read, and leads to a weirdly charming feel of the comic.
Story and plot
For the bit people actually want to know about. What is it about?
Just a little bit of influences...
For the style itself the comic comes off as a mix between early 2000s slice of life-y anime, 2000s cartoon Network, and a dose of 2000s webcomic sarcastic action/adventure flare. It definitely has one of the most pronounced styles that I’ve seen, and even if it's very much a webcomic of it’s time it also goes a bit beyond that into something that feels personal to the author and honest. Its a batshit comic. But, it wears its influences on it’s sleeve and really plays with tropes and ideas the author found engaging at the time. It somehow comes off as refreshing in just how willing it is to go weird or niche for no other reason but because it wants to. It's what I appreciate most about the comic. It’s honest.
The overarching story of the comic is without a doubt about Otra and winter growing together as people. But with a comic that’s run for 7 years a little bit more happens in the journey, at least you hope it would. Girly runs on chapters, 15 in total (with 15 having sub chapters due to being the story’s climax), and each one of those chapters follows a different plot or adventure with Otra’s and Winter’s developing relationship gluing them together.
The plots themselves are wild and vary a bit in quality. But for a long comic that’s understandable and expected. They go from solving elephant problems, super villains, body swapping, fantasy parodies, and all sorts of strange things. Sometimes a few plots drag and a few character arcs feel a bit bland. It still manages to be entertaining all the way through though. The plots themselves work to get the character’s to play off each other and explore the strange world it takes place in. Exploring evil teddy bears, or an entire town devoted to cheap gags. No matter what, all the plots work in fleshing out the world and pushing character’s out of their comfort zone or forcing them to change. There are some that are less fun than others, but none of them manage to be boring or useless. Which for a long comic such as this, is quite an achievement.
Conclusion
Girly is a hidden gem, Its an insane sex positive comic. A loose style and even looser physics. It’s bold and unabashedly itself. But, at its core it's about the love story of Winter, the wacky insane woman needing to slow down and open up, and Otra, a sullen woman who’s deemed herself only worthy of being on the outskirts of society. It’s two people growing together in a world that’s up to its ears in care bears, sentient dildos, earth shattering cloning, and jabs at 2000’s paste it comics. And somehow it all sticks together.
The characters resonated, at least with me, which may be the nostalgia talking. But by the end of the comic I can’t help but think back on how long it took them to get there. The bits that made me laugh (a lot of them), the stupid parts, and the character’s arcs, as over the top they could be at times. It may not everyone’s cup of tea. But it has a lot of heart at its core. (If you get past all the dildos).
For all it’s flaws and weird bits. I still find myself going back to Girly.
Maybe now, some more people will too.
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[Behind-the-Scenes] HELIOS Rising Heroes: Animation Showcase
“HELIOS Rising Heroes: Animation Showcase” is an English voice fan project I worked on all by myself (barring voice actors) that took five months to make.
The original plan was to make just one video, but it ended up being eighteen of them!
Link to YouTube playlist:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0UbdFyWSx0n_ewcd-t0iAB0adGe5lghH
In this write-up, I’ll be discussing details about the response to the project, recording all the footage, video editing, voice acting + audio processing, script translations + rewriting, which fonts were used, and even the emulator used. I’ve organized it into sections to make it easier to find certain things. Also, this is directed to English-speaking readers since I’m not gonna bother translating the entire thing to Japanese.
THE DREAM
I wanted to make this fandub ever since the game was released (in Aug 2020). I just knew that English voices would be extremely fitting to the world of HELIOS with a setting inspired by America and characters, places, and terms mostly in English. I was disappointed to hear that the studio behind the game, Cacalia Studio of Happy Elements K.K., had no interest to localize their games outside of Asia, which meant the chances of an English dub, let alone a global release were close to zero.
I was able to understand how to play the game thanks to the fan translators, some of which came from other Cacalia Studio games, and got inspired to continue learning Japanese (there was a previous attempt to translate Japanese lyrics years back).
What I thought was just the silly dream of one overseas player’s became something much more!
THE TIMELINE (BRIEF OVERVIEW)
I played the game for about two months prior to working on the project. Before starting the project, I had to sort out graphical and technical issues on my end first as I was unable to play the game smoothly until November.
November 2020
Finding all the in-game battle lines
Writing transliterations (romaji) of lines by ear
Learning and translating lines to Japanese
Started recording footage
December 2020
Further translation revisions
Held a casting call
Script rewriting and finalizing
January 2021
Completed casting
Started video editing (learning process)
Started audio processing
Recorded more footage
February 2021
Recorded more footage
Japanese script revisions
Finished working with VAs
Finished audio processing
Continued video editing
Published Preview video
March 2021
Recorded the last of the footage
Japanese subtitle revisions
Finished Showcase video
Finished Individual battle clips
Gave recommendations to VAs
The exact start and end dates were Nov 1st, 2020 to March 31st, 2021. Pretty neat.
RESPONSE TO THE PROJECT
I was absolutely shocked with the response to the preview video, which at the time of writing has just hit 10K views and almost 600 likes on Twitter and YouTube combined. Not bad for an unpaid hobby fandub (a joke only I find funny...) of an otherwise “niche” Japanese-only mobile game.
As of Apr 4th, 2021 - Thank you so much. This is more than I could’ve asked for.
The preview video blew up way more than anticipated, setting up for a bit of disappointment when the Showcase video was released.
The amount of views I expected for this project within its prime were a couple hundred views, so I’m content that the Showcase video reached that amount (it had ~500 by the end of March).
The expectations for the battle clips were an average of 100 views and a handful of likes - and each one got roughly that amount (or more) - so I’m also content with that, especially for something that’s just “bonus material”.
I tried my best to promote this project on Twitter with three main tweets. My one regret with promoting the project was making the second tweet after publishing the Showcase because the Japanese I wrote there was pretty terrible (as I was all worn out from editing and was in a haste to tweet about it). I tried to make up for it in a follow-up reply the next day, but it was too late. I was satisfied with how my third and final tweet and thread of battle clips turned out, but it sadly didn’t garner much attention. A reason for this was probably due to bad timing. I knew that the timing of the last tweet was awful as HeliosR did something special for April Fools’ day, plus the Easter event was being hyped around the same time, but I really wanted to finish up the project within March (my timezone, at least. It was already April 1st in Japan).
It was important to also make the videos accessible to the Japanese audience as they were a large portion of the viewers. This proved to be a challenge as my knowledge of Japanese is limited - at least for me, it’s easier to translate grammar-correct Japanese than it is to write my own sentences.
I ultimately decided against posting any of the videos on NicoNico because I wasn’t sure about Japan’s laws regarding copyrighted material. I knew it was already risky enough posting on social media and didn’t want to take any additional risks.
ABOUT THE FOOTAGE (1) – HEROES & ATTACK ORDER
HeliosR uses a gacha system, so to be able to even make something like this, you’d first need access to all 16 ★4 OG Heroes in the game.
I had them spread across five different accounts, four of which were reroll accounts. Asakou from the Cacalia RPG server gave me two of those accounts, and I rerolled myself for Keith and Ren during their Birthday Orders (one free 10-pull per account). Every account is also given a free ★4 selector ticket which I made good use of.
3,000 rubies (in-game currency) were sacrificed to pity the ★4 OG Dino when he was released in December just for the sake of the fandub!
Besides covering all of the Heroes, I also needed to play through each account to unlock certain story chapters, event stages, and evolve the Heroes for their shiny evolved CG art. Some of the Expert event stages (that had the Nighttime backgrounds) proved difficult to clear with a new account.
When using skills, the order of the Heroes were edited such that everyone was able to have the majority of their lines used at least once. All Heroes had two “receiving support” lines, two or three “supporting” lines, and two or three “skills against the enemy” lines. Some of the extra lines didn’t make it into the Showcase, so they were used for the individual clips instead.
I should’ve used Gray instead of Marion for the account that had Billy because you can see Marion’s sprite in Billy’s image. xD
In the Showcase, you may notice that the "Union Attacks" consist of all the ★4 CG images. These were spliced together; I never had all four Heroes of the same sector on the same account. For example, I would have Gray, Asch, and Jay on one account and Billy on another account, recorded their ★4 Bursts separately using the same background (from unlocking the Expert stages on both accounts), and then edited all the footage together.
Jay’s Burst was later re-recorded with a different attacking order so that he wouldn’t link to Billy.
It was also important to keep the same order of Bursts as well as use all four Bursts in the same turn. The ★4 Burst order was usually determined by who didn’t link skill with one another (with the exception of East sector as I was still figuring things out) because I didn’t want the link skill activation getting in the way of the animations.
As a little bonus, I also showed off the exclusive damaging skills of the Chapter 6 and 7 ★4 frames that I was lucky enough to pull from the gacha: Marion’s "Invitation To The Dance“ (roses), Faith’s “Synthetic Vibes” (beats), and Dino’s “Crow Mark Dead End” (claw marks).
ABOUT THE FOOTAGE (2) - BACKGROUNDS
Since I didn’t want to use the same battle music and backgrounds for all of the videos, I decided to use some of the themes from the limited-time events which went as far back as Nov 2020.
Each background has three variants (Daytime, Afternoon, Nighttime) and so I carefully picked them based on the colours. I ended up using mostly Expert stages - or Nighttime backgrounds, since Daytime versions were only used for Normal difficulty stages (which are too easy to clear).
The backgrounds used for the Showcase, all from limited-time events.
I decided to mix up some of the Heroes from other sectors in the individual clips for fun, basing it off of their relationships with each other. Using South sector’s background for Gast’s clip was a purposeful choice because I already used the North sector’s background for the other three North sector Heroes. I made sure to include Akira and Will of the South sector in Gast’s clip so it didn’t feel too random!
The only default background I didn’t use was Chapter 2’s because I already made use of the Casino theme for OG West sector’s individual clips. (...Plus I didn’t really like that background :p)
Here’s a list of all the backgrounds I used:
Escape the Prison (Nov 2020) - used for Showcase [EAST]
Mission of CASINO (Nov 2020) - used for Junior, Faith, & Keith clips
HAPPY NEW YEAR SHOW! (Jan 2021) - used for Showcase [SOUTH]
Help! Cooking Hero! (Jan 2021) - used for Will and Oscar clips
A Sweet Spell Garnished With Chocolate (Feb 2021) - used for Showcase [WEST]
Grandiose Chinoiserie (Mar 2021) - used for Showcase [NORTH]
The Hero Is A Detective!? (Mar 2021) - used for Billy and Jay clips
Default backgrounds: Chapters 1, 3, 4 (shared with 7), 5 (shared with 6) - used for all other clips
The Christmas event was the only event that went unused during the Nov 2020 - Mar 2021 period.
I didn’t record the East sector event (Christmas) in Dec 2020 because I was actually too busy with the casting call! I also didn’t think I would make use of it after already recording the Prison event intended for East sector. The project ended up taking so long that it actually benefited from having a wider selection of events over the months, which also showcased the beauty of the game.
ABOUT THE WORK & VIDEO EDITING
Hardware:
A decent computer.
A pair of no-name earbuds I found while cleaning out some junk.
Software:
All FREE!
*There’s a catch
NoxPlayer* emulator (debloated, read more about in its own section) and Open Broadcast Studio were used to record game footage and sounds.
Davinci Resolve was the main tool I used to edit the videos. A very demanding program that I only recommend using if you have a mid to high end computer.
MediBang was used to edit some of the art like the logos, but I ended up using Resolve for the majority of the graphics, including the thumbnails.
Audacity and Cakewalk were used to edit audio.
Many aspects for this project took longer than I had hoped because there was a learning process with using Resolve for the first time. I’m also a bit of a perfectionist, re-exporting videos tons of times just to fix small mistakes. Lastly, the time it took to make all the fancy effects was longer than I’d estimated. As the project dragged on, there was pressure to not delay the release of the videos any longer than I had to. A lot of this was self-imposed though.
There were days where I just did something else other than work on the project, which helped re-fuel my motivation when I decided to pick it up again.
Pretty much everything in the videos were taken from the game itself. The only graphics that were taken from the official website instead were the Substance symbols (the pictures with HERO at the bottom).
Additional overlay graphics were custom-made. It took two whole days to make the 3-second long sector intros and another two days to create and animate the arrow graphics for the credits. These were made using Resolve’s fusion and colour features. Much of the edit was inspired by the official HeliosR designs.
Left: Official in-game graphics // Right: My fanmade video (sector intros)
Sector intros were inspired by the four Heroes version of Union Attacks in-game.
Left: Official HeliosR video // Right: My fanmade video
The Preview video took after the ★4 Burst mini-previews as part of HeliosR’s promotional campaign, uploaded before the game was released.
Left: Official HeliosR video // Right: My fanmade video
The credits at the end of the Showcase were inspired by a different video, this time being the Half-Anniversary video.
The Showcase - which had a duration of 29:07 - was 11.5GB large in size. It took almost three hours to render (which I re-rendered to fix things) and two DAYS to upload to YouTube because I experienced multiple uploading interruptions. It’s a good thing you can re-upload the same video to continue where you left off without having to restart the entire process.
The individual hero clips didn’t take as long to make (but they took a while anyway as I re-uploaded some of them to fix minor mistakes). The recommendations for the VAs that were given alongside the publishing of each clip also spanned over another five days as I wanted to personalize and think about each one carefully.
A pretty frustrating part of the project was the prevalent lag when recording footage, which may have been due to the emulator and/or some technical things on my end. The Prison event used for the Showcase was the very first one I recorded when I wasn’t as aware about the lag, and so it suffered a bit as a result. The Union Attacks were the worst offender. I re-recorded the same battle scenes several times each just in case, then went through the footage frame-by-frame in Resolve and chose the ones with the least amount of lag. If all of the recorded footage suffered lag at different parts, I would even compare and splice together parts of them that didn’t lag. There was also audio lag (a known issue of NoxPlayer) so I had to move all of the audio forward by 1/3 of a second.
By the end of the project I had over 200 videos of game footage with a total size of over 24GB and a total duration exceeding 9 hours, not even counting all the ones that went unused.
The Heroes weren’t the only ones who evolved. MS Paint not recommended for thumbnails.
Overall, (despite the few mistakes here and there that nobody other than me would notice) I was happy with how everything turned out, down to the gorgeous thumbnails! I am an artist, after all~ :^)
I also have much more respect for video editors. They should be called VIDEO ANIMATORS!
ABOUT THE VOICES & AUDIO PROCESSING
When making a dub, it doesn’t mean we want to replace or best the original language, we just want to give it a new interpretation. In fact, the characters’ voice descriptions and direction provided in the scripts were heavily inspired by the seiyuu (Japanese VAs) and how they performed their lines.
Honestly, this was THE dream cast!! Some of the VAs had comparably similar voices to the Japanese ones which was an amazing coincidence. The ones that may not have sounded as similar had unique interpretations that I felt still suited their characters well. I also chose actors based on their performance, and everyone delivered!
Voice actors were not expected to imitate the Japanese voices and lines. They were provided direction and reference videos to help time their lines, but were otherwise given liberty when it came to their own interpretations.
You shouldn’t hear any jarring differences between the voice actors’ microphones and setups. That’s because I took the time to process the audio. Faith’s audio was submitted to me post-processed so it was used as a guideline for what the audio quality should sound like. Some of the others had comparable quality to Faith’s, so I only added compression to balance their volumes. Most of them benefited from equalization of various levels - this took some experimenting back and forth with the frequency spectrum. Lastly, a couple more benefited from clip fixing, noise gate, de-essing and/or click removal. It was very important for VAs to have at least decent room treatment; while small differences between mic frequencies can always be altered, echoes are difficult if not impossible to remove completely.
I feel that audio engineering is highly underrated and more important than ever as voice actors continue to record from home studios.
And in case it wasn’t already clear, this was purely voluntary work. No VAs or myself were paid to contribute anything for the project. Though, the experience alone was worth more than any amount of money.
ABOUT THE SCRIPT & TRANSLATIONS
HELIOS Rising Heroes「エリオスR」English Translation - Battle Lines
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ImWrAfvS_hgp6qr5qt30vCP63uHEk2o79uqY0h-3wL4/edit?usp=sharing
This spreadsheet consists of the literal translations for all the battle lines I could find in the game (it still isn’t done -yet-, plan to finish it when I get the chance). These are only fanmade and are not guaranteed to be accurate, especially as I wasn’t able to find another translator to help or proofread it.
After translating the lines, I made many additional revisions from the literal meanings such as changing the intention of the line slightly to flow better, having extra words added in to provide more context, or changing them completely. Thus, the lines used in the video are NOT literal TLs!
Another thing of note that may not seem apparent, but is what I feel an important aspect of character writing, is to remain completely unbiased towards all the characters. Personal favourites aside, I ensured that every Hero had their own spotlight as well as lines written in a way that remained faithful to their personality, no matter how unlikeable they were (looking at you, Asch Albright).
Even after giving voice actors their scripts, I made another revision in February after the release of the aforementioned Half-Anniversary video with the transcriptions for the ★4 Bursts, which is when I discovered a couple of mistakes with my transcriptions. This resulted in me having to edit out a part of one of the voice actors’ lines (Billy’s “String Show” line in his ★4 Burst) because of a translation mistake! I’m really glad I was able to double-check the correct lines before releasing the Preview video, or it would’ve looked pretty silly to Japanese viewers.
The last set of revisions were just minor edits to the subtitles (such as using kanji instead of kana) while I was working on subtitling all the videos.
Notable changes included:
WILL SPROUT
During attacking combo
Original line:
tanonda zo... ike! / “Counting on you... Reach!”
Rewritten line:
“I’ll become stronger... For everyone!”
The rewritten line is a condensed version of one of Will’s ★4 Evolved CG lines (“For everyone... I’ll become more and more stronger!”). He had “Reach!” in both his attacking combo and regular Burst, so I gave him an extra unique line.
★4 Burst
Original line:
warui kedo... kore de oshimai da! / “Sorry, but... it ends with this!”
Rewritten line:
“I’m sorry, but... it’s over for you! HAAAH!”
There were a couple of oversights I made with the script, and this was one of them that didn’t fit the animation properly. Props to Ryan for coming up with the extra shout at the end! So yeah, we kinda winged this line.
OSCAR BALE
When using skills against the enemy, during attacking combo, and in the ★4 Burst (repeat line)
Original line:
osoi! / “Slow!”
Rewritten lines:
“Too slow!” / “You’re slow!” / “Over here!”
Rewritten simply because I wanted to minimize repeated lines and change things up.
GAST ADLER
When supporting an ally, and during attacking combo
Original lines:
tetsudau ze / “I’ll help (you).”
itchouagari / “All done.”
Rewritten lines:
“I’ve got your six.”
“Target eliminated.”
I wanted to add in a few military terms to reflect Gast’s background.
FAITH BEAMS
★4 CG line (for the credits)
Original line (literal TL):
“It’s not terrible or evil, right? Surely this isn’t punishing... I guess?”
Rewritten line (with “mistake”):
“I’m not doing anything horrible or evil, alright? This is just business as usual... I suppose?”
Faith’s CG line had a mistake when I first translated and handed it off to his actor. I accidentally wrote “oshigoto” (work/business) instead of “oshioki” (punishment). The original has him pretty much saying the same thing twice anyway, so I would say the intention was still retained.
KEITH MAX
When supporting an ally
Original line:
gambare yo~ / “Do your best~.” or “Hang in there~.”
Rewritten line:
“Stay alive, would ya~?”
I know Keith’s meant to say “serious” things in a sarcastic or snarky way, but I just had to add in this fun line!
DINO ALBANI
Using skills against the enemy
Original lines:
haa! / “Haah!”
hei! / “Hey!”
Rewritten lines:
“I can do this!”
“Leave it to me!”
The Japanese lines for Dino’s offensive skills were rather basic, with the third and unchanged line “Here goes!” being a repeat line Dino also says when attacking. I wanted to give him some more lines - as standard as they are - to show his personality a bit more, along with having an additional fun West sector interaction. The changes fit the animations better too. (I actually had his VA say the "Haah!" line, but ended up using a different take of “Here goes!” in place of it.)
ABOUT THE FONTS
Fonts were taken from various sources and were either FREE for personal use or had an open font license. I didn’t have access to the commercial fonts (such as Futura) used in-game, so these were the following fonts I made use of:
Techna Sans looked similar enough to Futura when capitalized, and still looked decent in lowercase.
Jost* is a font that was derived from Futura. Some of its uppercase letters are sharper than Futura's, but it worked pretty well for the text in the credits.
Gau Font Over Drive was used for the ANIMATION SHOWCASE text.
Gen Jyuu Gothic LP was used for the majority of the Japanese text and its English letters were also used for the battle clip subtitles on Twitter.
Meiryo UI (default font) was used for the Preview videos’ subtitles.
Noto Serif JP (default Google font) was used for the serif Japanese text in the credits.
ABOUT NOXPLAYER ANDROID EMULATOR
ETA: AS OF VERSION 1.1.18 (04/23/21), EMULATORS NO LONGER WORK WITH HELIOSR (AS WELL AS OTHER CACALIA STUDIO GAMES). THE BELOW INFORMATION IS OUTDATED.
If, for whatever reason you’re interested in using NoxPlayer, you should take caution when installing it onto your machine. I don’t advocate for or recommend installing Nox. I had to resort to emulation so that I could record the footage and sounds directly from my computer using OBS. The reason why I used Nox specifically is because Cacalia Studio doesn’t like emulators, blocking most of them from running their games. I found further instructions on how to run the game in Nox from the Cacalia RPG Discord (via Twitter @HeliosR_en).
First, not all Nox versions are safe. It should only be installed from the official website, Bignox. More recent versions (I believe from 6.3.0.6 and up) may contain malware such as Segurazo and Chromium packaged with the installer which can be annoying to remove. The version of Nox I used was 6.3.0.0 (you can install older versions, then just don’t update it), which has Android 7 and doesn’t contain packaged malware (AFAIK).
Second, NoxPlayer may be “free” to use, but it comes with bloatware and profits off of its users’ data by collecting and sending it to many different servers. The below guide is what I used to debloat Nox and minimize communication to these servers. Scroll down the comments for additional domains to add to the hosts file.
Debloating & Optimizing Nox:
https://gist.github.com/Log1x/12d330ef7685d6fbc611d1d57efb5c29
This is another good guide that makes use of command prompt to remove additional bloatware from the emulator.
How to Remove Bloatware on Nox and LDPlayer Emulator:
https://codefaq.org/emulator/how-to-remove-bloatware-on-nox-and-ldplayer-emulator/
ENDING NOTES (TL;DR)
Images of the first and last video for the HeliosR project. We’ve come full circle!
One very tired and average person decided to translate, script, cast, direct, and edit an ambitious project all by herself using only FREE tools, and ended up taking too long to finish it. But at least she finished it, right?
Translators = RESPECT
Voice actors = RESPECT
Video editors = RESPECT
Audio engineers = R E S P E C T (their work is especially behind-the-scenes)
Hell, I even like Asch now.
During my time working on this, there was one question I always had in mind: “What would the fans want?”
I hope this follow-up has given you a bit of insight into the makings of the HeliosR project. Thank you for reading!
~RubyJCat
#heliosr#helios rising heroes#animation showcase#english#fandub#dub#voice#voices#voice acting#fanmade#fan#behind the scenes#my projects#english translation
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Nkuley Masemola and his iconic creative expressions
Nkuley Masemola is a multidisciplinary creative who works as a fashion model, DJ and stylist. Nkuley Masemola has modelled for iconic South African fashion brands such as Rich Mnisi, Thebe Magugu and Nao Serati. They also invite the young vibrant youth of Johannesburg to the eccentric scenes of Braamfontein through DJ’ing. With styling that transcends cultural eras and borders, Nkuley translates their experiences of navigating South Africa and the creative culture artistically into their photographs. The success they have garnered since working as a fashion model from the age of 17 is truly inspiring. In this interview we talk about what inspired Nkuley growing up, their artistic journey and the importance of being yourself in order to thrive in the creative industry.
1. How was it like growing up in Pretoria?
The funny part is that I didn’t actually grow up in Pretoria, it was more outside of Pretoria than it was Pretoria. I grew up on the outskirts of Pretoria - that’s the farms. Bronkhorstspruit is where I was from. And it was bland - I don’t know any other way to explain it. It was like growing up on a big sheet of white paper. I had to make out myself. It was an experience but it was also really overwhelming because no one there had progressed to anything. It was complicated but also a good learning curve. I always say I would have rather not. I would have rather had a soft life but I guess I see the benefit of growing up like that but it was overwhelming.
2. What are some unforgettable childhood experiences you believe shaped who you are today?
When I finally moved to Bronkhorstspruit, after my father passed on, my mom bought herself a huge mirror. I didn’t have friends, I didn’t have anyone. So the only thing I ever did was look into that mirror. I had all my performances there, I had all my interviews, I did everything with that mirror. I just became so self-obsessed, all of my art is self-obsession. Everything is all about me. It’s my self-portrait, it’s music that is about me, everything that is structured in a way that is like self-worship. So I think that particular childhood experience shaped me forever. I got harassed but I never got bullied. I never let anyone bully me. If it happens, I can just avoid it, I’m not gonna stick around. I was always inside the house. I would make up my own stories, live in my head, and wait for the day I move to Jo’burg. When it finally happened, I already had like self-discovered so much. That particular childhood experience shaped who I am today. I created my whole world, and now I’m living in it.
3. How did you start modelling?
Back home, there used to be this modelling agency. It was just high school kids who had high-quality cameras, more than it was a modelling agency. They were like, “Yeah you should be a model.” And I was like, “I guess.” It was never my thing. I take really good photos, but I don’t look like a model, I don’t present myself as a model. At that time, I wasn’t the typical male model. And so I was like I’m not a model. That happened and it wasn’t really serious. When I moved to Jo’burg, my friend and I had just come from registering and we were going past Kitcheners and my friend was with their friend. We were all speaking to a guy and he said, “Yeah you can just come back to my place.” We all went back to the place. Then I left my matric certificate at their place and then when I left and went back home, they were like, “You left your stuff here [matric certificate] and also, I saw on Twitter that you might have to drop out of school because you don’t have anywhere to live until March so you can just live with me.” This is the person that I met with a friend because they met on the streets of Braam, literally at the corner of Kitcheners. I lived with that person for 3 months. They literally got me into modelling.
The first day I got here they were like, “You’re a star!”. I was on a music video set, and they needed one guy and I had just moved to Jo’burg and put my bags down. My parents had just dropped me off. I put my bags down and went up to shoot the music video. After that, I had another job. It was quiet for a minute and then my friend asked me to escort them to a casting. Still, I was not in the modelling game, I was just deep in love at the time. So cool, I go to this modelling gig, and then when we get there, my friend doesn’t get picked but they’re choosing from outside. They’re like, “You? Come here.” I said that I’m not here to model what’s happening? They said, “No, just audition quickly.” So I walked and strutted to the wall and then when I came back I got picked. It was The Threaded Man show. After that, everything started picking up, everything just set off. That’s how that happened. I just started modelling after that. Still very weird.
4. Wow! The Threaded Man was so huge at that time.
I didn’t even know. I didn’t know who Siya Beyile was. I had just got to Johannesburg. I had no idea who anyone was. So literally getting calls from Rich Mnisi being hey it’s Rich Mnisi. When I found out it was Rich Mnisi I was like OMG! They were shooting for i-D. That is one thing I’ve always dreamt about - I’ve always bought i-D magazines at the taxi ranks. When they said, "You’re 17 you’re gonna shoot for i-D", I was like that’s crazy, that’s crazy. I shot for almost every magazine that I had back at home. In one year, I had Cosmopolitan, Vogue, and i-D. My mom was like, “Aren’t these the magazines that are in your room.?” It was my favourite flex. I didn't even know it’s gonna happen in terms of modelling. I had always imagined being a part of the creative team or like one day when I’m all the way older on the cover of i-D for doing something. But not a whole documentary that is based on us. That’s so crazy, that’s insane.
4. Which would you say are your favourite fashion collections you have modelled for?
I really enjoyed the Rich Mnisi collections that I modelled for in the first year - I thought I looked really good in zebra print. Thebe Magugu gave me a suit and said “Do what you must with it.” That was really insane for me. Siyababa Atelier’s collection, Rich Mnisi’s collection and Nao Serati’s collection.
5. The South African creative scene has truly evolved over time, but there’s still so much work to be done. What do you think still needs to be done to move the culture forward?
I think South Africa needs to stop normalizing things and actually live in them. We need to stop trying to normalize things so much because we are othering them more than we think. We are othering people more than we think. We are regressing more than progressing. If we keep saying “Normalize trans women” - why? They’re women. Women are already normal. You don’t need to normalize women. It’s microaggressions like that. People don’t realize homophobia is just as serious as racism. The same way people are judging you because of your skin colour is the same way you are judging someone for loving someone. I think South Africa would be much better if they just lived in their truth more than trying to be these progressive people. We’ve been through so much, that we should know by now that we can’t risk having another revolution. We’ve revolved too many times. We’ve been traumatized too many times - we don’t need any more trauma. We just need to get that into our heads. We need to let go of the power game. The obsession with power in this country is a hectic obsession - that needs to be let go of.
6. How do you find the experience of integrating fashion, music and creative direction together to tell a story?
It comes easily because everything that I do is still self-obsession. Everything that I create is based on me so it’s not that hard. Self-awareness. It’s hard in that term that you know yourself so much that people want to digress you into this way. The only thing hard about it is people not understanding you and wanting to change you and who you are at that point. You already know who you are. Trying to accommodate everyone into your world because I’ve already said I am living in my own world, in my own space. In my own space, there is no need to accommodate other people. I think that’s the hardest part about it. It’s just me finding spaces for people in my world. In terms of navigating it, it’s always been me living out what I wanted to live out. It’s always playing music - when I DJ I play all the music that has registered with me. I’ve always been a Rihanna girl, I’m always going to play Rihanna. I’m always going to have the Rihanna aesthetic - the same way she does it. I’ve been studying Rihanna for the longest time in my life. The same way she does it. The same way she has this creative direction that goes into her music that also goes into her modelling - it’s really insane. That’s what I’ve always done. Rihanna, FKA Twigs, and FAKA do that in the most perfect way ever. That’s my thing.
7. If you ever feel a creative block during a project, how do you reconnect and channel your energy?
I like feeling things out. If it doesn’t happen then it’s not gonna happen. I was at a point where I was really depressed last year - I was at my lowest. I had never been that depressed ever in my life before. I told myself that I never want to feel like that ever again. For that to happen, I always have to be honest with myself. I have to know that I can’t do this right now. If I’m gonna go somewhere and I’m like okay you’re gonna have to model today but you don’t have the haircut. You look bad, you’re gonna feel bad and the pictures are going to look bad. So rather, we don’t do it. Rather sacrifice that and put me in a risky position but I’m not going to put something out there that I don’t believe in and don’t feel comfortable with. Being uncomfortable with something that’s seen by so many people is actually kinda crazy. It’s like uploading a picture of your pinky toe that you don’t like. I know people always say embarrassing yourself on the internet is being real, but that is always different for me. My realness is perfection. The real me is the perfect me.
8. Which creative material inspired you on your overall journey - it could be a book, film, exhibition, art collection - anything really.
Definitely seeing FAKA. Sitting down, talking to FAKA, and realizing that we have had the same life experiences. When I was 15, when I was a party girl - I still am, FAKA was like, “Oh you host this party called “Umrubisho” and I was like omg we used to host that party and FAKA was like we were always there. It’s so crazy how the Universe aligns like that - that’s insane to me. No one at that point understood what that meant to me but it just means to me my life is fine, I don’t need to worry about a lot of things. Life is just going to progress the way life progresses. I’m just going to get to where I need to get. A moment most pleasing to me was when FAKA was curating a Versace show. That’s so insane. That means anything is possible. That moment for me just sparked up everything. Thebe Magugu winning the LVMH Prize. Rich Mnisi doing Milan Fashion Week. Moments like that for me make anything. Moments like that for me are the most affirming.
9. Which brands and artists would you like to collaborate with in the future?
I’m not a big fan of Kanye but I really love Yeezy and the direction that it’s taking. As much as I’m working with Adidas, I would love to go deeper into Yeezy like that. Of course, I want to be a FENTY girl so, so, so bad. All the luxury brands - not necessarily as a model but as a muse nonetheless. I would love to be a DIOR girl, I would love to work with YSL but most mostly, I want to be a FENTY girl.
10. And lastly, which words of advice would you give to artists who aspire to manifest their dreams in this creative industry?
I would say be yourself. It’s not a joke, really be yourself. Everyone always says this, and it sounds corny all the time but really but it took me at least 2 years to realize, be yourself. Don’t fake it out, be yourself in such a way that even if you are being fake, you’re being fake in a way that is beneficial to you. You’re being fake in a way that is not going to hurt you in the end. You’re doing chaotic things but everything you do must be aligned with you. Everything you do must not come back and bite you. Everything you do must be something that you’ve always wanted to do. Be selfish as much as you can because being selfish just means being yourself and be selfish in ways that will still benefit you. That’s what it has always meant. Just remain yourself because that’s all you’ll have. People will come in and out, but you’re gonna remain with the same person forever - and that’s gonna be you. Take care of yourself, you know what’s good for you, you know what hinders you. You know what you need to do, so just do enough of that to keep yourself going.
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MONTHLY MEDIA: July 2020
……….FILM……….
Palm Springs (2020) I feel like there was a big marketing push for this movie at the start of the month and it totally worked. All the good buzz and fun artwork I saw relating to this was perfect and it was a fun time at the movies...at home.
Howl’s Moving Castle (2004) It’s been yeeeeears since I last watched this and it turns out I remembered next to nothing. The worldbuilding was fantastic and while I still can’t piece together how the aging/curse on Sophie, it just feels that much more magical. Absolutely going to pick up the book to see if I can get a more in-depth narrative.
……….TELEVISION……….
What We Do In The Shadows (Episode 2.01 to 2.04) Hot dang this is continues to be a great series! I really hope Nadja’s doll sticks around for the whole season (or the rest of time) and it’s all just so fun!
Mad Men (Episode 4.07 to 4.11) Knowing there are 7 seasons really makes me feel like we’re in the middle of act 2. Things are getting real low for Don and I’m still baffled at the idea that anyone sees him as a role model/inspiration. It’s feeling bleak and I hope season 5 starts to point upwards again (not for Don but for everyone else).
Dear White People (Episode 1.01 to 2.10) So good! I don’t want to give too much away but what’s started out as a drama/comedy seems to be evolving into something else and I ready for it! I hope season 3 and 4 expand on what I hope it’s building.
……….READING……….
Forever and a Day by Anthony Hororwitz (Complete) A really fun Bond prequel and I think this is going to start me off on reading the original Fleming novels! Filled with all the best tropes from the movies (and maybe the books? Time will tell) and it was such a light and fun read. It was the perfect birthday gift as I needed a beach read.
Dracula by Bram Stoker (Complete) The pacing of this book is a good example of why I tend to prefer modern takes instead of the classics themselves. I appreciate what this book contributed to our collective consciousness, but the back drastically reduces the amount of vampire content in favour of Mina’s deteriorating health, the hunting party discussing their plans, and recounting an extensive travelogue.
The Haunted Mansion: Imagineering a Classic by Jason Surrell (Complete) I’ve always loved this ride so I was hoping to learn more about what’s happening with each illusion and effect. While I got sooooome of that, they clearly held back a bunch of secrets and I suppose I understand why. With that said, the history of the original ride’s development was super interesting! Same goes for how the attraction has evolved over the years and when moving to other parks.
Delicious In Dungeon Vol. 8 by Ryoko Kui (Complete) Everything about this series, from the world to the characters, strikes a perfect balance (for me) between familiar and new. The monsters are typically based off of well-established mythology, but there’s usually enough of a twist that it feels more unique to this world. It’s excellent. And the same goes for the characters; at first glance they may look like simple tropes but the series consistently breaks them down or adds depth to inform why a character acts a certain way. Please go read this series.
Fun With Milk and Cheese by Evan Dorkin (Complete) This has the sort of confidence and frantic energy that it could only come out of the late nineties. Some of the stories work better than others, but I think that’s just my own taste.
Dragonball 3-in-1 Volume 1 by Akira Toriyama (Complete) Decided to return and reread this series and I always forget how jarring some of the early stuff is (mostly around gender and Bulma)...I know it’s likely cultural or a product of being over 30 years old, so I won’t fault it too much.
The Perry Bible Fellowship Almanack by Nicholas Gurwitch (Complete) It’d been years since I’d read through most (if not all) of the PBF comics and I appreciate the variety of style even more now. Despite each comic being illustrated in a way that suits the narrative/joke/premise, it all still feels cohesive. It’s something I need to remind myself as I question if any of my own work is unified by anything. Also the insight into the abandoned and forgotten comics at the back of the book were so interesting to read! I love seeing how other creatives think.
The Mushroom Fan Club by Elise Gravel (Complete) Very cute all-ages introduction to mushrooms! Illustrations are so fun and personable and it really encourages outdoor adventuring and wandering around in the woods (safely), so that gets an A+ from me.
Death Wins a Goldfish by Brian Rea (Complete) A wonderfully charming book about Death on vacation. The art is breezy and the light text was surprisingly funny. It was a good reminder to kinda just take a break and recharge, you know?
……….AUDIO……….
Cuz I Love You by Lizzo (2019) After hearing Juice on a friend’s birthday playlist, I couldn’t NOT check this album out. It took me about three listens to really get into and it’s all great.
Bastionland Podcast - Tabletop Roleplaying Game Design (Podcast) If you’re interested in what goes on behind the curtain of game design (specifically tabletop role-playing games, but I think the principles and takeaways are fairly universal) then check this out.
……….GAMING……….
Neverland: A Fantasy Role-Playing Setting (Andrews McMeel Publishing) The party has recovered a Mermaid’s prize coat and have a few other goals on the go, but most pressing is the weapon (an umbrella) of a Lich that they need to destroy in the lava flow of Neverland’s mountains (very Lord of the Rings). Also I’ve been doing more detailed write-ups on Reddit, if you’re into that sort of thing.
D&D Homebrew Adventure (Menace of Merlin) The group spent a session saying farewell to their undead minion (a yeti named Norm); role-playing games are fun.
And that’s it! As always, please feel free to send any recommendations my way and happy Friday!
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🐓
Hi! I want to have comprehensive list of the BL manga/manhwa etc. that I’ve read because I want to spread the love for this genre 💜. This post is a list of works that I’ve read which is not in this page yet + my comments on each work. I hope some people will find something that they like here ^__^
🐣 All BL recs from me
manhwa 🐓
💜 Never Understand
Yuri, one of the school's most handsome guys,and Jaerim, one of the school's ugliest, collide!...or don't they? Can't understand what's going on between these two! It's Out of Control!
shounen-ai, completed, 87 chapters
THE STORY IS SOOOO GOOD. The art also improved by a lot upon reaching the later chapters. Jae-rim is dubbed as “ugly” (he’s a whole cutie tho) and I’m glad to see a non conventional character design for an MC! I highly recommend reading this!! 👌💯
Incorrigible
A sequel to “Never Understand” which is focused on Cho Ayeon’s story after being free from Soyeon’s control.
yaoi, completed, 8 chapters
This has few chapters so maybe that explains the fast pacing. Nonetheless, it was a nice read, I have a really soft spot for Jae-rim so seeing his r-18 experiences with Yuri really got me ahkdjashdkajshd ;W;
💜 Dirty Vibrations
Best friends Yeong and Nohae thought it was a joke when they downloaded the infamous “cursed” app. It’s said to command the user to perform…sexual acts and punishes those who disobey or delete it. It started with making them kiss. When they disobeyed its order…the punishment was anything but a joke.
yaoi, ongoing
This one is from Fujoking (author of Youjin)! In all honesty, I love this for its sex scenes. They are so well made, the art, the dialogue, the expressions, and just *chef’s kiss* 👌. When it comes to expressing sexual scenes in BL, my top authors would have to be Fujoking for manhwa and Zaria for manga.
💜 Paid
Executive director Heejae is nicknamed "Chaebol Prince" by the public. But his life is turned upside down when documents linking him to an embezzlement scheme are unexpectedly found by an accounting collegian Taekyung! So he pretends to have a crush on him, but.. Taekyung wants more than just flirting!
yaoi, ongoing
This is another one from Fujoking! This has a heavier plot as compared to Dirty Vibrations, so you get amazing smut AND an engaging story!
💜 On or Off
Yiyoung is building a startup with his college friends. They get a chance to present their proposal to SJ Corporation, one of the leading companies in the country. But in the meeting room he sees Kang Daehyung, the extremely handsome company big shot that's so very much his type, and Yiyoung's heart starts to race...! Can pretty-faced Yiyoung win both in love and his career?
yaoi, ongoing
Okay this! It’s really funny and the pacing is nice and the characters are nice and the art is nice and the perfect mix of romance comedy and slice of life i just HUHDADKAJDHJK it’s rly a feel good read and both MCs are SO ATTRACTIVE.
Penthouse XXX
Siyeon, a contract killer, has declared a boycott on men after being screwed over by his ex. That is, until he moves into a penthouse owned by Taekyung, a rich heir with killer looks.
yaoi, completed, 49 chapters
It has meme worthy illustrations xD. The graphics are nice but I found Taekyung (one of the MCs) to be a little toxic. Also, some parts of the story were not wrapped up/discussed enough imo. But overall, it was a pleasant read.
Home Sweet Home
The last thing Jungyeon expected was for his mom to ask if she could remarry. The new man was kind, considerate, a perfect match for his mother but there’s a catch: he has a younger son. Sunwoo is an introvert. He’s shy and has trouble opening up to others, until he meets Jungyeon and finds himself opening up for the first time. As their parents get closer to marrying, they become close, too close, and that’s when Sunwoo learns Jungyeon is already seeing another man.
yaoi, completed, 57 chapters
I honestly don’t know why this has quite a low rating on mangago because I found it to be a good read! It’s like sitting through a romance-drama movie. I liked the ending and the relationship between the main couple.
K’s Secret
Employee Kim Doyoon has been working for 5 years. He has one secret that he can't tell anyone else - the fact that he's a half-vampire born between a human and a vampire.
yaoi, ongoing
The art is so good in the recent chapters ugh. Also the sex scenes are well made. The plot is a little unclear though, and I feel like the relationship of the two MCs are kinda forced and unnatural hahaskdhakjdh. Still reading it tho since it’s ongoing.
💜 I have a Boyfriend
Kang Hyeon Ho, who belongs in the university soccer team goes into a breadth class and encounters the person he went to middle school together with and was his first love, Han Gyeol.
yaoi, completed, 44 chapters
THIS IS BASICALLY COLLEGE AU ROM COM ADDITIONAL TAG: FIRST LOVE AND IT’S AMAZING. Just a really well rounded story with the right amount of drama to bring out its slice of life 😭💘 Also, this is tagged as yaoi but the sex scenes were few and not that explicit.
💜 Voice of Love
After experiencing a traumatic incident involving a previous lover, Jiho is too afraid to tell his classmate Soohan that he likes him. Thankfully, Soohan can hear otherpeople's thoughts and asks him out first. But, as we all know, love isn't always that easy. Will Jiho and Soohan really get their happily ever after?
shounen-ai, completed, 37 chapters
Just a really cute story about mind reading and high school boys being in love. Ah, youth. This will make you feel good like ,,, awww young love :( <3
Base to Base
The elite Sung Moon High is fields one the country's top 5 high school baseball teams. Kim Soohyun was the ace pitcher of his middle school now started his first year at Moon high baseball team...since his beloved sunbae Choi Woojin(captain/catcher) is there....Kim Soohyun is an cutie puppy with stalker tendency exclusive for his beloved sunbae.
shounen-ai, completed, 28 chapters
Sports manga/anime always had a little (or lots) of gay, well this one made it officially gay! A cute rom-com bUT I feel like the ending was rushed. I would have loved it if there was more, but nonetheless, a good read! :)
manga 🐓
💜 I Seriously Can’t Believe You
"I don't think you've realized your true nature yet." That's what Kon tells Iida, the hottest guy at school, wondering how anyone could be so proper. As popular as he is, Iida doesn't seem interested in any of the girls who come after him. Kon and his buddies try to look into the matter by flipping a coin and having Kon approach him with his confession of love, just to see if he's really interested in guys. "I've... never looked at guys like that..." says Iida, falling for Kon's ruse. Kon takes him home, hoping to straighten out the misunderstanding, when Iida suddenly grabs him by the shoulder, and... A story about a mysterious hottie at school and a prince of a certain kind.
yaoi, completed, 5 chapters
THIS IS FUNNY AND CUTE AND HOT AND SHORT BUT REALLY GOOD JUST READ IT YOU WONT REGRET IT!
💜 Yoru to Asa no Uta
(Chapter 0) ; (Sequel)
Asaichi can't play any instruments, his voice is average, and he's only in the band for the girls and the sex. Plus, he's homophobic. For some reason, the new bassist is infatuated with him despite the treatment Asaichi gives him.
yaoi, completed, 1 + 8 + 8 = 16 chapters
It’s by Harada (author of ‘Yatamomo’ and ‘Color Recipe’) so expect dark themes. Trigger warning for rape. I suggest you skip the rape if you can’t handle it because this manga is so good. Its art and story (much like Harada’s other works) will really suck you in. This left a deep impression on me because the characters felt so alive. I respect Harada so much for that ability.
💜 Eigyou Nika!
Sakisaka, stationed in the second Sales Division, has an unrequited love for Toujou, his directing senpai. He had no intention of confessing his feelings. However, Toujou has been awfully touchy-feely lately… Is there a glimmer of hope? Please don’t let it be a misunderstanding! Which path will these vexing feelings flow down to?
yaoi, completed, 10 chapters
I had fun reading this because it’s so fluffy!! aaaAAAA I love friends to lovers and cuddling and the sweetness that comes from a relationship that is a more than friendship but less than lovers. A lighthearted read <3
💜 Mou Ichido, Nando Demo
On his way home from picking up a rings for himself and his lover, Fuji Takahiro is hit by a car. His resulting amnesia degrades his live-in lover Kotou Tarou to a mere flatmate, and a series of misunderstandings threatens to tear the couple apart. Tossed around by desperation and confusion, can Tarou and Takahiro rebuild their once blissful relationship?
yaoi, completed, 11 chapters
This is like watching a really good mature drama. The characters feel real and the situations presented in the manga were also something one can easily imagine themselves being put into. A short and good read.
💜Ookami-kun wa Kowakunai
The world is filled with animals that can evolve into beastmen. There is a young and earnest wolf who was always mistaken for a showy person because of his flashy looks. The easily mistaken wolf has fallen for an attractive looking rabbit named Usami, who is cautious of carnivores.
yaoi, completed, 6 chapters
I mEAN,,, LOOK AT THEM!!! This is wholesome and very fluffy huhuhuhu no more words needed. A short and cute read! <3
💜Ookami He No Yomeiri
Kaede is a rabbit person chosen to be the 'bride' of a distinguished wolf family. Although he does not wish to marry a wolf, his family pleads for him to go so that they can have enough supplies to last for the next two years. However, how will his new husband act towards a little bunny rabbit stuck in the wolf's den?
yaoi, completed, 8 chapters
The art is good and the story is cute :((( They’re so cute aaaa I’m a sucker for grumpy looking x ray of sunshine it’s just uGH the contrast never gets old.
💜 Encirclement Love
Ryou had a sleepover and saw his friends - Issei and Tadahiro - kissing while they thought he was asleep. He asks them about it and feels betrayed as a childhood friend when they pretend nothing happened. Determined to catch them red-handed, Ryou ends up inside a closet with Issei's little brother - Yuusei -, who has a unexpected reaction to the situation.
yaoi, completed, 6 chapters
It’s basically four high school boys being horny. All four of them are friends and I find their dynamics really funny. Also, they’re all hOT 🥵 I had lots of fun reading this!
Mother’s Spirit
University employee Ryouichirou is ordered by the Chairman to take in an exchange student. That exchange student, Qaltaqa, is a native from a developing country who can't understand Japanese!! Though he is a warrior of his tribe and a man of great beauty, seeing him afraid of the phone and the TV, and even the toilet, Ryouichirou gets fed up… But while being called "Ryouichirou" in such a clumsy manner, he has a change of heart!?
yaoi, completed, 13 chapters
This is funny and interesting! A short read to boost your mood and get your yaoi fix ;D
Dakaretai Otoko Ichii Ni Odosarete Imasu
Saijou Takato's 5 year reign as the "Most Huggable No. 1" has been snatched. Stealing his thunder is the newbie actor with a 3-year debut, Azumaya! Towards the stuffy hostile Takato, Azumaya's sincere sparkling smile starts to become effective. Even as Takato sets his alert level on MAX, Azumaya catches Takato in his shameful drunken state and uses it to blackmail him! In exchange for Azumaya's silence, Azumaya states, "Please let me hold you"'?! "Embrace me, who was the Most Huggable No.1? What the heck is he saying!"
yaoi, ongoing
I remember dropping this because MC was obviously raped, but upon watching the first episode of the anime adaptation, they made the sex consensual (thank God) and the story is not so bad after all. I suggest skipping the first chapter altogether and just start off at episode 1 in the anime, then you can pick it up in the manga to see the explicit scenes xD
That’s it for now! Will continue updating in this tumblr acc. as I continue on reading more BL ehe. Hmu on my twt if u wanna talk about BL and/or anime and manga in general hehe. Love lots~ 💜🐓
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Have you watched Tsurune, by an chance? If yes, what do you think about it?
Finally managed to write down a reply for this! (Told y’all I was gonna do it and I did not give up, lmao.)
So this ask caught me off-guard for two reasons: one is that I never see it coming when people send me Tsurune asks now that the anime is long over and the fandom is inactive, and the other is that nobody has ever asked me this question so straightforwardly. Whenever I got asks about Tsurune, people would question me about the differences between anime and novel, the anime versions versus the canon versions of the characters, fanservice and ship tease, alterations in character relationships and my opinions on specific episodes, chapters or scenes. As far as I remember, no one has ever asked me what I think of the anime (or the novel) in general.
I won’t go into the novel since this ask is just about the anime (I can do that in another one if you like), but I’ll end up mentioning it every now and then because it’s pretty impossible to discuss about an adaptation without talking about its source material. Still, I promise this review won’t be centered on that.
This is actually a very condensed version of my thoughts, because the real thing would be a bible. It’s still a lot, though. Here comes a long-ass ride.
I guess I should start by making clear that I usually follow the history of KyoAni’s productions very closely as I’m a big fan of the studio. This includes reading the novels and mangas they adapt into anime as well. I had read volume 1 by the time the Tsurune anime came out, so I already knew what the canon was like. I must add that I was also familiar with Japanese archery to some degree and I was reading Zen in the Art of Archery when the anime was airing (it’s referenced early in the novel, so I decided to give it a try).
With all of this being said, when it was announced that Tsurune would get an anime, my first reaction was to worry. This surprised even me, because I usually have high hopes for any KyoAni adaptation, even the ones I end up not liking. I mean, it’s a studio filled with brilliant stars and holds the golden standards of the whole industry, so even when the content isn’t good, the quality of the animation itself is enough to make their shows worth anyone’s time. But the choice of director had me very concerned.
Now, this is Kyoto Animation that we’re talking about. In no moment did I fear for the animation’s quality. Most of Tsurune’s staff members, if not all, already had previous experience working on Violet Evergarden. And we all know that even newcomers freshly graduated from KyoAni’s preparatory school can make a stunning visual masterpiece. Yes, I am talking about Kyoukai no Kanata. And yes, I said visual masterpiece, because we also know that what these productions normally lack is the most essential part: the content.
In those cases, the one who actually makes a difference is the director. I’m a firm believer that the more inexperienced the staff is, the more competent a director they should be placed under. If not a senior animator, at least let it be a rising talent with the best prospects possible. But the schedules usually don’t help with that, so these hatchlings ended up under Yamamura Takuya’s wings.
To elaborate a bit further on why I think brighter animators should be the ones leading new packs (no, it’s not discrimination against the less accomplished, because you gotta start from somewhere), it’s because they usually have this knack for bringing the most out of the stories they’re working on. When the story is great by itself, that’s a different thing, but when it doesn’t quite reach its full potential with just the text, then the one to give it life has to be a person with more vision.
Am I saying that Tsurune is one of those stories? Absolutely. Tsurune is about archery, which is an art that is best appreciated when observed. You can’t get everything out of it just with words, and there are many things in it that people who don’t know much or know nothing about Japanese archery wouldn’t understand without actually seeing them, so the series obviously needed an anime in order to reach its full potential. But other than that, I’ll be honest: I love the Tsurune novel for its cultural baggage, the handling of its characters and its fairly innovative views in the repetitive and boring scene that sports animanga are nowadays, but I don’t consider it a well-written novel. Because it isn’t.
This might seem controvesial coming from someone who defends the canon with claws and teeth, but I’m aware of its flaws. I think Ayano Kotoko has a lot of room for improvement, and she’s evolved remarkably from volume 1 to volume 2. But volume 1 is what the anime was based off, so there was a deep need for a clinical eye in that production. One that could measure the original work’s strengths and weaknesses and balance them out by powering one up and overcoming the other. And also a certain level of knowledge about Japanese archery. Sadly, Yamamura Takuya didn’t have any of it.
As much as I admire Yamamura as a key animator and in-betweener, I believe he has a long way to go before he can be considered a good director, and I certainly don’t think he was ready for his debut when he was put in charge of Tsurune. I would rather, and I mean this in a good way, have seen him work as anything else for the rest of his career. Being a series director was too much for him. I say this taking into consideration not only the fiasco that the Tsurune anime was in sales but also Yamamura’s history in the studio before becoming a director.
This might sound funny, but Yamamura had no idea how big Animation Do and KyoAni were before he decided to join. He also was never very skilled. His in-betweening was actually not approved at first when he was trying to enter the company. He even once admitted that his knowledge of animation was extremely limited at the time, and what a time that was, because the studio was busy up to the neck with the making of Lucky Star back then. He didn’t know left and right, basically, and he recalled in an interview from last year that he is still surprised the studio actually hired him.
Despite all of this, Yamamura joined the company with the intention of becoming a director. While he did manage the feat in the end, it took him +10 years and a few frustrated attempts. Animators usually start out at in-betweening and earn other positions through passing exams. Yamamura failed his first exam to be key animator, only managing to pass half a year later. He also failed his first exam to become a director. At his second attempt, one of their colleagues even suggested that maybe he should stay a bit longer as a key animator, and I couldn’t agree more. While he did pass the test, I can only bring myself to think that he did so with an average score.
Now, I did say that this info came from a 2019 interview, when the Tsurune anime was already over. But they weren’t really what shaped my opinion on Yamamura regarding his direction. It was the anime itself. But this interview served to confirm something I had already noticed from his tragectory to series direction: with him being in the studio for so long and having worked on so many titles, it was weird to me that he was rarely an episode director in comparison to key animation and in-betweening. Episode direction is a step that I consider crucial for one to become either series director, animation supervisor or series composer. I do know that quite a few directors take just as long as he did or even longer to debut and actually do thrive in the end, but observing Yamamura’s work always gave me the impression that he was better off following decisions made by someone else rather than making his own.
Yamamura also loses points with me in that he’s backed up within the company by Kawanami Eisaku, another director who doesn’t get rave reviews on his works. He’s the one who replaced Utsumi Hiroko after she migrated to Mappa, and ever since he took over the Free! franchise, its sales decreased to less than 1/3 of each of the first two seasons separately. I personally don’t like that he seems to look down on Utsumi despite his lack of success in inheriting her legacy, but leaving this aside and focusing only on his skills, I’m not fond of directors who opt for simplistic approaches in general. I think animation is a medium that should be used to amplify the appeal of the source material, not water it down. It also feels like these kinds of directors are always trying to play safe, which (they don’t seem to realize) goes against the audience’s expectations and kills the hype. It strikes me as cowardly, to be frank. I also don’t like when they ignore what the characters had been building up and simply retool them to their own tastes. I was praying that Yamamura would be different from this bad example, but turns out he was actually worse.
I got a really bad feeling when the anime PVs of Tsurune were released. My very first impression was that Yamamura was still too much of a beginner and he wouldn’t be able to make Tsurune into a successful anime. I know this might seem like an exaggeration, but here’s the thing: ever since KyoAni started making its own titles, I’d never seen lack of hype for their upcoming works. Ever.
Until Tsurune.
Every time a PV of a KyoAni show comes out, people go crazy. It’s not always a frenzy like it was with Free! in its heyday or Violet Evergarden when the novel commercials were the only pieces of animation we had of it, but there’s usually lots of debate and speculations going on. With Tsurune, almost no one cared. You’d see next to nobody talking about it save from a few people on Reddit. And honestly, why should they bother? It didn’t seem promising at all. Didn’t show much of the characters or the story’s premise, didn’t highlight any particularly interest aspect of the plot and didn’t leave any impression animation-wise. It was very bland, to say the least. Unfortunately, so was the anime series.
It might be blunt of me, but my overall evaluation of Tsurune is that it was a really boring show. Nearly all elements that made the story and characters interesting were either taken out or squeezed into a cookie cutter mold, cliche version of what they looked like they were going to be at first but turned out not to be in the novel. And I say this because one of the things that make Tsurune a good novel is how it turns stereotypes upside-down. It introduces the readers into what seems like is going to be a typical sports shounen and starts out describing the character archetypes in the most common ways possible and puts them in the most common situations possible, then it reverses them all. That’s what’s most charismatic about the books. It’s what incites actual character development and gives us different sides of each relationship, yet the anime makes no use of it.
The anime also hardly makes any use of all the mystic, Zen and lowkey folklore-ish veils of the novel, which are supposed to add up to the archery elements. The Zen part is actually essential since Japanese archery is fundamentally a Zen form of art. Yes, art. Japanese archery is, in fact, not a sport. This is one of the aspects that elevate Tsurune above other works of the sports genre: it’s only categorized as such because it can’t fit anywhere else, but it’s not really a sports novel. That could have elevated the anime to the same status too, if only the studio hadn’t treated it like a sports one. But they made that mistake.
Still, I think the biggest sin in this adaptation was to try to cling to tropes that are considered successful and ignoring the characters’ personalities, which didn’t match these tropes at all, resulting in both characters and bonds being utterly destroyed and the flow of the story slowing down to a slug pace. By the second half of the anime, literally either nothing interesting happens or the things that were supposed to be interesting don’t hold the audience’s attention enough, which the animators attempt to cover up with queerbait. Everything is so tediously predictable that I’ve seen countless comments from the Japanese side of the fandom about how similar the Tsurune anime was to Free! and how “KyoAni only ever makes male characters like that, don’t they”. They were referring to Seiya and his weird jealousy, by the way. Even first-timers could tell that the characterization was a disaster.
The sad thing is, they were right. The Tsurune anime really did feel highkey like a Free! copycat in the characterization department. The main character is always getting swung about by everyone around him. The best friend is very clearly co-dependent. The deuteragonist is revealed to be bitter because of a deceased relative and is an asshole to the rest of the main cast for a good portion of the series. The rival from the other school is rude as hell for no reason and he’s got annoying groupies on his team who don’t exist outside of idolizing him. There are only four female characters and they have almost no screen time. And the list goes on.
As for the animation itself, I would like to say that it was perfect, but what really rang the alarm in my head was the many beginner mistakes so evident here and there, such as missing frames, the opening theme starting out of nowhere, the colors of the background often being too bland, lack of movement or scenes where the characters are too static, etc. I shit you not that when I saw the title splashing onto the screen all of a sudden in the initial ten seconds of episode one, the first thing I thought was, “This won’t sell well”. Sure enough, it didn’t.
So there you have it. I didn’t like the show. The only things I enjoyed were the archery scenes and the soundtrack. The rest simply didn’t do justice to the original work. I hope this summary has explained why, but if you want more info on it, maybe visit my Tsurune tag. You’ll find me elaborating more on particular topics in response to similar asks. Or you can send me other questions if you feel like.
That’s it!
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Top 10 Games of 2019
This was an extremely good year for games. I don’t know if I played as many that will stick with me as I did last year, but the ones on the bottom half of this list in particular constitute some of my favorite games of the decade, and probably all-time. If I’ve got a gaming-related resolution for next year, it’s to put my playtime into supporting even smaller indie devs. My absolute favorite experiences in games this year came from seemingly out of nowhere games from teams I’ve previously never heard of before. That said, there are some big games coming up in spring I doubt I’ll be able to keep myself away from. Some quick notes/shoutouts before I get started:
-The game I put maybe the most time into this year was Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn. I finally made the plunge into neverending FF MMO content, and I’m as happy as I am overwhelmed. This was a big year for the game, between the release of the Shadowbringers expansion and the Nier: Automata raid, and it very well may have made it onto my list if I had managed to actually get to any of it. At the time of this writing, though, I’ve only just finished 2015’s Heavensward, so I’ve got...a long way to go.
-One quick shoutout to the Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney Trilogy that came out on Switch this year, a remaster of some DS classics I never played. An absolutely delightful visual novel series that I fell in love with throughout this year.
-I originally included a couple games currently in early access that I’ve enjoyed immensely. I removed them not because of arbitrary rules about what technically “came out” this year, but just to make room for some other games I liked, out of the assumption that I’ll still love these games in their 1.0 formats when they’re released next year to include them on my 2020 list. So shoutout to Hades, probably the best rogue-like/lite/whatever I’ve ever played, and Spin Rhythm XD, which reignited my love for rhythm games.
-Disco Elysium isn’t on this list, because I’ve played about an hour of it and haven’t yet been hooked by it. But I’ve heard enough about it to be convinced that it is 1000% a game for me and something I need to get to immediately. They shouted out Marx and Engels at the Game Awards! They look so cool! I want to be their friend! And hopefully, a few weeks from now, I’ll desperately want to redact this list to squeeze this game somewhere in here.
Alright, he’s the actual list:
10. Amid Evil
The 90’s FPS renaissance continues! As opposed to last year’s Dusk, a game I adored, this one takes its cues less from Quake and more from Heretic/Hexen, placing a greater emphasis on melee combat and magic-fuelled projectiles than more traditional weapons. Also, rather than that game’s intentionally ugly aesthetic, this one opts for graphics that at times feel lush, detailed, and pretty, while still probably mostly fitting the description of lo-fi. In fact, they just added RTX to the game, something I’m extremely curious to check out. This game continued to fuel my excitement about the possibilities of embracing out-of-style gameplay mechanics to discover new and fresh possibilities from a genre I’ve never been able to stop yearning for more of.
9. Ape Out
If this were a “coolest games” list, Ape Out would win it, easily. It’s a simple game whose mechanics don’t particularly evolve throughout the course of its handful of hours, but it leaves a hell of an impression with its minimalist cut-out graphics, stylish title cards, and percussive soundtrack. Smashing guards into each other and walls and causing them to shoot each other in a mad-dash for the exit is a fun as hell take on Hotline Miami-esque top down hyper violence, even if it’s a thin enough concept that it starts to feel a bit old before the end of the game.
8. Fire Emblem: Three Houses
I had a lot of problems with this game, probably most stemming from just how damn long it is - I still haven’t finished my first, and likely only, playthrough. This length seems to have motivated the developers to make battles more simple and easy, and to be fair, I would get frustrated if I were getting stuck on individual battles if I couldn’t stop thinking about how much longer I have to go, but as it is, I’ve just found them to be mostly boring. This is particularly problematic for a game that seems to require you to play through it at least...three times to really get the full picture? I couldn’t help but admire everything this game got right, though, and that mostly comes down to building a massive cast of extremely well realized and likable characters whose complex relationships with each other and with the structures they pledge loyalty to fuels harrowing drama once the plot really sets into motion. There’s a reason no other game inspired such a deluge of memes and fan fiction and art into my Twitter feed this year. It’s an impressive feat to convince every player they’ve unquestionably picked the right house and defend their problem children till the bitter end. After the success of this game, I’d love to see what this team can do next with a narrower focus and a bigger budget.
7. Resident Evil 2
It’s been a long time since I played the original Resident Evil 2, but I still consider it to be one of my favorite games of all time. I was highly skeptical of this remake at first, holding my stubborn ground that changing the fixed camera to a RE4-style behind the back perspective would turn this game more into an action game and less of a survival horror game where feeling a lack of control is part of the experience. I was pleasantly surprised to find how much they were able to modernize this game while maintaining its original feel and atmosphere. The fumbly, drifting aim-down sights effectively sell the feeling of being a rookie scared out of your wits. Being chased by Mr. X is wildly anxiety-inducing. But even more surprisingly, perhaps the greatest upgrade this game received was its map, which does you the generous service of actually marking down automatically where puzzles and items are, which rooms you’ve yet to enter, which ones you’ve searched entirely, and which ones still have more to discover. Arguably, this disrupts the feeling of being lost in a labyrinthine space that the original inspired, but in practice, it’s a remarkably satisfying and addicting video game system to engage with.
6. Judgment
No big surprise here - Ryu ga Gotoku put out another Yakuza-style game set in Kamurocho, and once again, it’s sitting somewhere on my top 10. This time, they finally put Kazuma Kiryu’s story to bed and focused on a new protagonist, down on his luck lawyer-turned-detective Takayuki Yagami. The new direction doesn’t always pay off - the added mechanics of following and chasing suspects gets a bit tedious. The game makes up for it, though, by absolutely nailing a fun, engrossing J-Drama of a plot entirely divorced from the Yakuza lore. The narrative takes several head-spinning turns through its several dozen hours, and they all feel earned, with a fresh sense of focus. The side stories in this one do even more to make you feel connected to the community of Kamurocho by befriending people from across the neighborhood. I’d love to see this team take even bigger swings in the future - and from what I’ve seen from Yakuza 7, that seems exactly like what they’re doing - but even if this game shares maybe a bit too much DNA with its predecessors, it’s hard to complain when the writing and acting are this enjoyable.
5. Control
Control feels like the kind of game that almost never gets made anymore. It’s a AAA game that isn’t connected to any larger franchises and doesn’t demand your attention for longer than a dozen hours. It doesn’t shoehorn needless RPG or MMO mechanics into its third-person action game formula to hold your attention. It introduces a wildly clever idea, tells a concise story with it, and then its over. And there’s something so refreshing about all of that. The setting of The Oldest House has a lot to do with it. I think it stands toe-to-toe with Rapture or Black Mesa as an instantly iconic game world. Its aesthetic blend of paranormal horror and banal government bureaucracy gripped my inner X-Files fan instantly, and kept him satisfied not only with its central characters and mystery but with a generous bounty of redacted documents full of worldbuilding both spine-tingling and hilarious. More will undoubtedly come from this game, in the form of DLC and possibly even more, with the way it ties itself into other Remedy universes, and as much as I expect I will love it, the refreshing experience this base game offered me likely can’t be beat.
4. Anodyne 2
I awaited Sean Han Tani and Marina Kittaka’s new game more anxiously than almost any game that came out this year, despite never having played the first one, exclusively on my love for last year’s singular All Our Asias and the promise that this game would greatly expand on that one’s Saturn/PS1-esque early 3D graphics and personal, heartfelt storytelling. Not only was I not disappointed, I was regularly pleasantly surprised by the depth of narrative and themes the game navigates. This game takes the ‘legendary hero’ tropes of a Zelda game and flips them to tell a story about the importance of community and taking care of loved ones over duty to governments or organizations. The dungeons that similarly reflect a Link to the Past-era Zelda game reduce the maps to bite-sized, funny, clever designs that ask you to internalize unique mechanics that result in affecting conclusions. Plus, it’s gorgeously idiosyncratic in its blend of 3D and 2D environments and its pretty but off-kilter score. It’s hard to believe something this full and well realized came from two people.
3. Eliza
Eliza is a work of dystopian fiction so closely resembling the state of the world in 2019 it’s hard to even want to call it sci-fi. As a proxy for the Eliza app, you speak the words of an AI therapist that offers meager, generic suggestions as a catch-all for desperate people facing any number of the nightmares of our time. The first session you get is a man reckoning with the state the world is in - we’ve only got a few more years left to save ourselves from impending climate crisis, destructive development is rendering cities unlivable for anyone but the super-rich, and the people who hold all the power are just making it all worse. The only thing you offer to him is to use a meditation app and take some medication. It doesn’t take long for you to realize that this whole structure is much less about helping struggling people and more about mining personal data.
There’s much more to this story than the grim state of mental health under late capitalism, though. It’s revealed that Evelyn, the character you play as, has a much closer history with Eliza than initially evident. Throughout the game, she’ll reacquaint herself with old coworkers, including her two former bosses who have recently split and run different companies over their differing frightening visions for the future. The game offers a biting critique of the kind of tech company optimism that brings rich, eccentric men to believe they can solve the world’s problems within the hyper-capitalist structure they’ve thrived under, and how quickly this mindset gives way to techno-fascism. There’s also Evelyn’s former team member, Nora, who has quit the tech world in favor of being a DJ “activist,” and her current lead Rae, a compassionate person who genuinely believes in the power of Eliza to better people’s lives. The writing does an excellent job of justifying everyone’s points of view and highlighting the limits of their ideology without simplifying their sense of morality.
Why this game works so well isn’t just its willingness to stare in the face of uncomfortably relevant subject matter, but its ultimately empathetic message. It offers no simple solutions to the world’s problems, but also avoids falling into utter despair. Instead, it places measured but inspiring faith in the power of making small, meaningful impacts on the people around you, and simply trying to put some good into your world. It’s a game both terrifying and comforting in its frank conclusions.
2. Death Stranding
For a game as willfully dumb as this one often is - that, for example, insists on giving all of its characters with self-explanatory names long monologues about how they got that name - Death Stranding was one of the most thought provoking games I’ve played in a while. Outside of its indulgent, awkwardly paced narrative, the game offers plenty of reflection on the impact the internet has had on our lives. As Sam Porter Bridges, you’re hiking across a post-apocalyptic America, reconnecting isolated cities by delivering supplies, building infrastructure, and, probably most importantly, connecting them to the Chiral Network, an internet of sorts constructed of supernatural material of nebulous origin. Through this structure, the game offers surprisingly insightful commentary about the necessity for communication, cooperation, and genuine love and care within a community.
The lonely world you’re tasked to explore, and the way you’re given blips of encouragement within the solitude through the structures and “likes” you give and receive through the game’s asynchronous multiplayer system, offers some striking parallels for those of us particularly “online” people who feel simultaneous desperation for human contact and aversion to social pressures. I’ve heard the themes of this game described as “incoherent” due to the way it seems to view the internet both as a powerful tool to connect people and a means by which people become isolated and alienated, but are both of these statements not completely true to reality? The game simplifies some of its conclusions - Kojima seems particularly ignorant of America’s deep structural inequities and abuses that lead to a culture of isolation and alienation. And yet, the questions it asks are provocative enough that they compelled me to keep thinking about them far longer than the answers it offers.
Beyond the surprisingly rich thematic content, this game is mostly just a joy to play. Death Stranding builds kinetic drama out of the typically rote parts of games. Moving from point A to point B has become an increasingly tedious chore in the majority of AAA open world games, but this is a game built almost entirely out of moving from point A to point B, and it makes it thrilling. The simple act of walking down a hill while trying to balance a heavy load on your back and avoiding rocks and other obstacles fulfills the promise of the term ‘walking simulator’ in a far more interesting way than most games given that descriptor. The game consistently doles out new ways to navigate terrain, which peaked for me about two thirds of the way through the game when, after spending hours setting up a network of zip lines, a delivery offered me the opportunity to utilize the entire thing in a wildly satisfying journey from one end of the map to another. It was the gaming moment of the year.
1. Outer Wilds
The first time the sun exploded in my Outer Wilds playthrough, I was probably about to die anyway. I had fallen through a black hole, and had yet to figure out how to recover from that, so I was drifting listlessly through space with diminishing oxygen as the synths started to pick up and I watched the sun fall in on itself and then expand throughout the solar system as my vision went went. The moment gave me chills, not because I wasn’t already doomed anyway, but because I couldn’t help but think about my neighbors that I had left behind to explore space. I hadn’t known that mere minutes after I left the atmosphere the solar system would be obliterated, but I was at least able to watch as it happened. They probably had no idea what happened. Suddenly their lives and their planet and everything they had known were just...gone. And then I woke up, with the campfire burning in front of me, and everyone looking just as I had left it. And I became obsessed with figuring out how to stop that from happening again.
What surprised me is that every time the sun exploded, it never failed to produce those chills I felt the first time. This game is masterful in its art, sound, and music design that manages to produce feelings so intense from an aesthetic so quaint. Tracking down fellow explorers by following the sound of their harmonica or acoustic guitar. Exploring space in a rickety vessel held together by wood and tape. Translating logs of conversations of an ancient alien race and finding the subject matter of discussion to be about small interpersonal drama as often as it is revelatory secrets of the universe. All of the potentially twee aspects of the game are balanced out by an innate sense of danger and terror that comes from exploring space and strange worlds alone. At times, the game dips into pure horror, making other aspects of the presentation all the more charming by comparison. And then there’s the clockwork machinations of the 22-minute loop you explore within, rewarding exploration and experimentation with reveals that make you feel like a genius for figuring out the puzzle at the same time that you’re stunned by the divulgence of a new piece of information.
The last few hours of the game contained a couple puzzles so obfuscated that I had to consult a guide, which admittedly lessened the impact of those reveals, but it all led to one of the most equally devastating and satisfying endings I’ve experienced in a video game recently. I really can’t say enough good things about this game. It’s not only my favorite game this year, but easily one of my favorite games of the decade, and really, of all-time, when it comes down to it.
#outer wilds#death stranding#eliza#anodyne 2#control#judgment#resident evil 2#fire emblem: three houses#Ape Out#Amid Evil#games#video games#GOTY
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Tangled: The Series Q&A with Kait.
This is a recapitulation from today’s (September 14, 2019) Questions and Answers session with Kait on the Tangled Discord Server.
Q: Which Disney princesses outside of Tangled the series can you see Varian being friends with? Nonfranchise ones included.
A: I think Belle is the first one who comes to mind!! She’s super studious and goes against the grain…not to mention her father is an inventor who’s a little off-base! 🙂 I think he’d be super comfortable experimenting with Belle and her dad and reading awesome stories! (Maybe even sharing the Tales of Flynn Rider with her! …Assuming she hasn’t read it! Haha. ) He could also eat ham sandwiches with Anna. Sorry. Second thought. Lol!!
Q: So Kait, as a storyboard artist on the show what kind of little details, quirks or creative touches did you or any other artists put into Varian scenes you or others storyboarded?
A: Ha!! Any acting scene with Varian I had…I pretty much based off of Anna Lencioni (my best friend/ another board artist on the show.) Anna makes these very specific expressions and she gestures to herself a lot and closes her eyes and creases her brows and says things like “A-huh! Actually…” or “Um!!” Before making a point and it’s always reminded me of him.
She kept a “flynnolium” prop from Halloween with green goo in a vial in her cubicle at work so long it grew mold. She said she was studying it. She found scrap metal in her boot one day. She has a basement lab for her experiments and crafts. She befriended two raccoons at her last apartment. She is the most accident-prone person with freckles I’ve ever met…she’s pretty much him.
Jeremy Jordan’s reads give you so much to work with…and I love that character so much I feel a natural sort of understanding of how he might say something or do something…but Anna would always do these specifically Anna things that I had to use for Varian.
Q: Do you have any specific advice for aspiring storyboard artists or people who aspire to work in animation?
A: Gestural drawings help you learn to draw fast…which is a very important part of storyboarding. I would say storyboarding‘ s biggest requirements are clarity and speed. Lots of productions have different requirements in terms of what they look for from story artists. Tangled‘s leadership cared a lot about drawing skill, animation, layout, etc. because it more strongly informed the animation studio to have those things. The show I’m working on now (Monsters at Work) is a 3D show…so for our production, the emphasis is more on story and speed. We pitch ideas more than we pitch drawings…so clarity is important and acting is too, but we’re far less precious about tying down drawings and animating since we shift into the 3D production pipeline after story. The boards are still very important…but the more technical aspects are a *little* less so. The focus is just more on story and character and what the board artists can bring to their scenes.
So I’d say just practice drawing…maybe try and give someone a prompt or ask a friend for one. Choose a theme! Maybe vampires? What’s the worst thing that could happen to a vampire? What’s the best thing? What’s the funniest thing? What if they were also an alien? Or fused with a werewolf? Or chained to one? What would happen? Giving yourself a starting point for an idea will inspire you to explore all the possibilities for humor, drama, etc. in that idea. If you’re struggling to give yourself a prompt, try looking online…or maybe choosing a song you like or a passage from a book for inspiration.
There’s also this really fun thing you can do to study cinematography and shot composition called a “three tone” exercise. Basically…put on your favorite (live action) film, grab a sketchbook, grab a black and grey marker, and use the white of the page for your third tone. What you wanna do is (as you’re watching or while pausing) sketch a small thumbnail using only three grey tones of what you see on the screen. Draw the shot- where the characters are, try and duplicate the lighting…it teaches you a lot! 🙂 (Phew!)
Q: Do you have any fun non-spoiler head canons about Varian?
A: I think his favorite dessert is apple pie and I think he bakes recreationally very often! He’s probably a good cook. (Though he may have one or two minor accidents……a burnt thing here and there. Minor oil splatters….haha!!)
Q: What’ve been your favorite episodes, both to storyboard and in general? Of course, no specifics if it’s S3
A: Haha! Well…What The Hair and Queen for A Day have special places in my heart because they were such big moments for my favorite character…(Varian, haha.) But I’d say the episodes I had the most fun boarding are all in season 3!!! Which is exciting! I have to start compiling some work to post! 🙂 I think the episode I had the most fun with is one you guys will really enjoy.
Q: Will we get some interesting surprises (In Season 3)?
A: Without any spoilers- absolutely!! The show is always full of those.
Q: So We’ve heard many fans express why they love Varian as a charcter before, I’d love to know what drew you and Anna to Varian as well and why you guys personally found him to be a great character.
A: When Shane Prigmore originally pitched the character to me, he was much younger. He was like 11 or so, I think? Maybe 12? He’s still pretty young…but what Shane said was that he wanted him to go from this wide-eyed kid to this dark, angry person whose bangs fell over those wide, bright eyes…just full of rage. That idea was super interesting to me…it just hit on something in character development that I felt like I’d never exactly seen before? He was so young and it was such an interesting idea to me to make a child the villain and to give that child a strong reason to be angry? It felt like it was taking this child very seriously, which I appreciate. It felt very real and very dark.
The thing that threw me through a loop but also evolved my fascination with the character was Jeremy Jordan’s casting. I listened to a lot of the auditions they had for various actors and I had seen a ton of Shane’s concept art of the character…a lot of them were VERY different than what we have now. One version Ricky Roxburgh (writer) contributed to had Varian cast as an adult in the story. But when I heard Jeremy I felt like I totally understood who Varian really was.
He was a well-intentioned disaster with unchecked emotions. That. Is me! Haha!! I see myself in his imperfections, his emotionality in spite of his creative and often intellectual thinking. He wants to ascend to these levels he may not be ready to ascend to…he feels this need to prove himself and seek validation. I don’t know, I guess I relate to that! And I’m just a sucker for good guys gone bad. The other half of this, of course, is that he’s very charming and cute and super reminds me of my best friend, Anna Lencioni.
Q: Which character do you most like seeing interacting with Varian?
A: It’s a little spoilery for me to reveal that……..but I think you guys are gonna know when it happens! Haha!
I can’t wait to post THOSE boards
That’s actually right out of the episode I think I liked boarding the most, haha.
Q: If there was one prop (furniture, object, the like) from the Tangled series that could be made real and you could keep, what would it be..?
A: I think it’d have to be those little alchemy orbs that Varian throws? They just suddenly clean the whole castle hallway somehow and like…could use me some of that. He also has the one that removes stains from tablecloths, so. I’m sloppy. That’d be a big help. Haha!
Also his staff is pretty cool 😉, I boarded/created that staff…David Lee (prop designer) did its final design…haha
Q: I have a question about a scene in season 1. When Varian got back the first part of the scroll he mentioned that it took him a while to translate it. Has he really been able to read it or has it been a bluff?
A: Varian can indeed translate what’s on the scroll. 😉
Q: Do you have any networking advice for those trying to get into the animation industry?
A: Post your work!! Make it easily accessible, tag it well, just show what you’ve got online! Upload boards, animatics, drawings, etc. Creating an online presence can really help put your name out there. Apply for internships, jobs. I know it’s hard to network because a lot of industry professionals don’t have time to answer specific questions or give portfolio reviews…so it’s sort of important to take some initiative on that and be self-motivated.
For me, I studied the portfolios of Disney feature story artists, CalArts students, etc. and tried to structure the presentation of my work based on that. Also, it helped me get a sense of what pieces of work would best showcase where I was trying to go and what I was trying to do. I’d ask yourself those questions as you develop a portfolio and artistic voice online! 🙂
My first feature job after a trainee program in New York at Blue Sky happened because Doug Sweetland (Pixar animator, feature director, awesome dude) found my work online and liked it. He just reached out based on that!
Shane Prigmore actually reached out to me for Tangled similarly.
Q: Besides Varian, do you have a favorite character that you’ve boarded?
A: I always love Eugene. He’s the second character I think I’m most like. His acting was really fun to play with and I felt like I could push his expressions a lot because he’s so funny. I loved boarding Lance too (I boarded a lot of Lance in S3!!) but MAN was he hard to draw, haha! His face shape is just really hard to draw at certain angles.
Q: With Varian cosplay that is going on, what Disney character would you like to see Varian dress up as next?
A: Jack Skellington! Halloween is afoot. Jack is another well-intentioned disaster. Guess I have a type!
Q: What’s Varian’s opinion on raccoons, are they his favourite animal?
A: I imagine it’s because Ruddiger is always finding interesting things in the trash and giving them to Varian to use in his experiments. Also, they’re fat and cute.
Q: There’s a bit of an argument going on over how many freckles Varian has. Can you confirm how many he has?
A: Ha!!! Yes…one second… 14!!
Q: How big do you think Corona is? Like Vatican City small or Arendelle big?
A: You know, with the wall and all, it actually feels a little on the smaller side to me? I’m sure there’s a little bit of discrepancy between the movie’s version of Corona and our version…but based on where we went within Corona on the show, I’d say it feels on the smaller side.
Q: Are there any non-spoiler Varian scenes or moments that didn’t make the cut that you can share?
A: MAN. Yes. There is one scene that changed after I rolled off the episode and I’m very sad about it. I’ll post it after the episode airs! There was also a line of Varian’s that I boarded to a specific read from Jeremy Jordan and that read was not chosen in editorial later so…I’ll post that one too, haha!
Q: What is your favourite song from the first two seasons so far?
A: All my favorite songs are in season threeeeee…hahahaha!! I think Let Me Make You Proud or the Buddy Song are my favorites. Buddy Song still gets stuck in my head now and then.
Q: What do you think Varian would order at a drive-thru? Specifically at chipotle 😂
A: Chipotle isn’t a drive thru!! Hahaha He’d get the kid’s quesadilla from chipotle. I think Varian is a fries/chips kind of person…something to snack on while he works! He probably also likes milkshakes.
Q: (Continuation from the question above) Chocolate or vanilla?
A: He’d revolutionize by combining them both. FOR SCIENCE!
Q: What is, in your opinion, the most challenging part of varian’s design to draw?
A: His goggles, hahaha. Or just his…hair in general.
Well it’s funny too because when you board these guys, you get used to doing a shorthand for them and then when you go to draw them FOR REAL you realize how complicated that actually is and how wrong your shorthand actually was? Hahahaha
Q: is Varian ticklish at all?
A: I feel like Varian, Eugene, and Lance are all equally ticklish. To the point of absurdity. Cass would fight it as long as she could…but when it finally got to her, she’d laugh uncontrollably. Rapunzel, she’s the TICKLER.
Q: What do you think Varian opinion and belief on magic is now that he’s seen it with his own eyes?
A: I imagine that he certainly believes in it now and no longer underestimates its powers…but I imagine he’s ultimately more comfortable staying in his own lane and working with worldly properties!
Q: If Varian would have been able to meet Demanitus…how would their conversation had looked like?
A: I feel like Varian would have had a TON of questions about his legendary device and whether or not he truly traveled dimensions.
Q: Did Varian have any other friends in old Corona before he met rapunzel?
A: Probably not many…he’s a bit of a hermit. I think Ruddiger is his best friend……. It’s sad but I also think that’s kind of why it hurt so bad when Rapunzel wasn’t able to help him. Also why he was SO excited to have Rapunzel, Cass, and Eugene come visit.
I think the village looked at Varian as a little unstable or worrisome. I’m sure everyone knew he was very nice…but they were likely very unnerved by his inventions.
Q: Do you think Varian ever tried to synthesise gold or the elixir of life like a real alchemist?
A: I’ve wondered that myself!! I think his alchemy has proven to be more about other people…helping others, making people proud. Maybe if someone he cared about was in need.
Q: If you were to meet Varian in real life, what would you say to him?
A: What elixir did you make to get THAT kind of volume? His hair’s so POOFY! Honestly, I’d probably just give him a hug.
Q: How much does Varian know or remember about his mom?
A: I’d say about as much as the photo of her on the wall.
Q: Is there spoiler about his hair streak? Or is it just by design?
A: It’s totally by design. I think it’s safe to assume it’s probably the result of some lab accident!
Q: In what ways is Jeremy Jordan like Varian?
A: I don’t know Jeremy Jordan personally, haha! But I think a lot of these inflections he adds to Varian sort of off the cuff probably come very naturally to him. I know he often wants to do his own pass at the musical arrangement Alan Menken writes…like he’ll want to do something a little different, in his own way, and it will change the song completely!! In an awesome way. That’s a little Varian-esque. In the “Let Me Make You Proud” reprise…Alan Menken had sung that “they are going to pay…they…will…pay” all in a low, downward tone. Jeremy wanted to scream it and make it powerful and angry and loud when he said “PAY” and you could just hear the spite in his voice for the “they will pay.” Genius!
Q: What was the most shocking moment/revelation of the series to you (minus anything season 3)?
A: It’s hard to say because I knew most of what was going to happen long, long ago. I think one of the things that made me go “oh dang!” was something Tom Canfield boarded. It’s that part in Destinies Collide where Lance slices the entire statue down the middle with a sword. What a BAMF!
Q: What were your thoughts on the early concept of Varian having an apple orchard and being a farm kid instead of a young alchemist?
A: He still kinda has those things! Quirin is a farmer as well as the village leader and there are apples on their little farm estate! 🙂 I think that makes Varian very unassuming as a mad little scientist. I’m sure that’s how (Ruddiger and Varian) met! Remember, he used his purple tacky goo stuff to catch raccoons so they wouldn’t eat the crops! And Ruddiger’s favorite snack is apples. 😉
Q: What is his official height and weight?
A: Smol.
Q: How did you guys come up with Varian’s name? And was there any other name suggestions for him before the name ‘Varian’ was chosen?
A: I’m not sure who came up with that name, actually! I’m sure it has something to do with the meaning of the word “variant” which means something that varies, changes in form.
Q: What’s his last name?
A: His last name!! I have NO idea and it bothers me!!! A Disney magazine referred to Varian, Ruddiger, and Quirin as “The Ruddiger Family” and I still haven’t stopped laughing about that.
Q: What sad Disney movie moments would make him cry?
A: Oof. Lion King.
Q: What musicals do think Varian would enjoy?
A: Little Shop of Horrors! I think he’d see himself in Seymour! Or Wicked…you know, that villain arc.
Q: How did Arianna and Fred meet?
A: I actually don’t know off the top of my head!
Q: Would Varian enjoy rollercoasters?
A: I think he’d enjoy how they’re MADE and then scream his head off while riding one, throw up his cotton candy and corndog, and go play carnival games instead. Then get mad that they’re rigged.
Q: So what comes next for you now that the series is almost over? Any big plans?
A: Well the series wrapped for production a while ago! I’ve been on another show for almost a year now! 🙂 I’m working on the new Disney+ show Monsters at Work as a director! It’s an awesome, awesome show…totally next-level…I’m shocked that I’m getting to be apart of something like this. It’s a direct sequel to the movie that serves as an office comedy (a la The Office, Parks and Rec) and has so many characters that fit immediately into the Monsters Inc world. Monsters Inc is my favorite Pixar movie…so I literally come to work and leave work on the same high! It’s an awesome, awesome show with a great crew! 🙂 It’s also just really exciting to be apart of the first original animated property for D+!
Q: How would you compare working as a director to working as a storyboard artist?
A: It’s hard work, just as hard, but in a different way! For me personally, I’m a little easily fatigued by drawing? I get a little creatively frustrated because my thoughts move quicker than my hand. Or because I don’t always feel like I can execute in a drawing what I’m thinking in the way that I want? Part of that is just being an artist…and it’s not ALL the time that I feel that way…but I think I have a certain stamina for drawing that I found challenging to increase.
Directing is just different! It has a lot more to do with managing a team, communication, coordinating, listening, speaking up, problem-solving, being very aware of story as it applies to ALL parts of a production. I don’t draw as often anymore. You have to consider a lot more…more people, more constraints, more difficulties, more opinions, more solutions…it’s just MORE. And you also still have to draw! 🙂 It’s very busy work, but it’s AMAZING and I love it. I feel like I’m contributing to animated storytelling a lot more in this role, actually. I love working with people, I love workshopping, and I love helping! I’m also just spoiled to be working with some great people right now. It’s a blast.
Q: Are any Tangled: The Series crew joining you on that show?
A: Yes!! Tom Caufield and Wendy Sullivan were on it for a minute, but they’ve both moved on to Dreamworks recently! James Suhr (board artist), Isabelle Gedigk (season 3 board artist), Naomi Hicks and Casey Coffey (revisionists), David Lee (props), Ricky Roxburgh (writer), and I are all working together again! It’s awesome.
Q: Does Varian, deep down, blame himself for the amber?
A: I believe he does.
Q: How do you deal with artist’s block?
A: I try to think about the intention behind what I’m doing. Why is the scene I’m working on very important to the story? If it feels unimportant or boring, how can I make it interesting? What can I do on my end to make it more inspiring or fun without going too far off the rails and still serving the scene’s purpose?
If it’s not work-related, I try and start with some fan art or something familiar for me to draw. I have a lot of scribbly Varians in the margins of a lot of my sketch documents. I use him as a warm-up a lot. It helps build my confidence to draw something familiar/ that I think I can draw pretty well.
Q: What’s the hardest scene you’ve ever had to board?
A: Oh God. ANYTHING with action. I’m not an action gal. Lots of stuff in S3. I was board partners with Wendy Sullivan and ended up getting a lot of action to board even though she’s WAY better at it than me!! It was an interesting challenge…but it was very, very challenging. Ben (Co-EP) was a great mentor to me in the scene I did for the mid season. He was very patient with me, despite my shortcomings as an action board artist, haha. I enjoy boarding for comedy much more.
Kait: Anyways, I should probably head off now! Thank you guys so much for all the questions!!!! You’re awesome! I hope you’re all super excited for S3! It’s a great one.
#tangled#tangled the series#rapunzel's tangled adventure#varian#Q&A#Tangled crew#Question & Answers#Kait#ruddiger#Rapunzel#Eugene#Lance#Cassandra
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TerraMythos' 2020 Reading Challenge - Book 2 of 26
Title: City of Saints and Madmen (Ambergris #1) (2002)
Author: Jeff VanderMeer
Genre/Tags: Weird, Short Story Collection (kinda), Horror, Fantasy, Metafiction, Mushroompunk (yeah), LGBT Protagonist, First Person, Second Person (sort of), Third Person, Unreliable Narrator.
Rating: 8/10
Date Began: 1/7/2020
Date Finished: 1/17/2020
This edition of City of Saints and Madmen is a collection of 4 short stories and a massive “appendiX” of other stories/notable worldbuilding pieces, all of which explore a fictional city called Ambergris. Ambergris’ world is not unlike our own, with technology that somewhat mirrors ours, but is nevertheless distinctly surreal and fantastical. One Ambergris’ most notable elements are creatures called the gray caps (or “mushroom dwellers”), who are basically humanoid mushroom people that play a role in each of the stories.
More details and a look at each of the stories under the cut.
Surely, after all, it is more comforting to believe that the sources on which this account is based are truthful, that this has not all, in fact, been one huge, monstrous lie? And with that pleasant thought, O Tourist, I take my leave for good.
I’ve read VanderMeer before-- the Southern Reach trilogy (which he’s most well known for) is one of my favorite series of all time. While I haven’t seen it yet, the film Annihilation is loosely based on the first book, and I hear it’s quite good as well. This will be my first foray into other stuff he’s written.
While this may put some people off, one thing I really liked about this book was it DIDN’T paint a clear picture of Ambergris. Each of the stories focus on particular details their respective protagonists find important, so the view we have of the city is always incomplete. There are tenuous and sometimes contradictory connections between the stories that often made me wonder what’s true/real, a recurring theme throughout the stories. Several of the stories are works of fiction within Ambergris, which skews perceptions even further. To me, all of this made the setting much more interesting, and the actual revelations more rewarding.
My personal favorite stories were The Hoegbotton Guide to the Early History of Ambergris, The Transformation of Martin Lake, King Squid, and The Cage. I’ll go into more detail on all the individual pieces under the cut, but rating them individually doesn’t much sense due to the weird format.
The Main 4 Stories
Dradin, In Love
An unsuccessful missionary priest named Dradin comes to Ambergris to plead assistance from a former mentor. However, when he spots an unknown woman through the window of a shop, he becomes convinced he is in love and becomes obsessed with her. As an event called the Festival of the Freshwater Squid looms, the city itself begins to change in startling ways.
From what I can tell skimming other reviews, this one trips people up because Dradin is just... a piece of shit. He’s terrible. There are some sympathetic traits to him -- he’s a fish out of water with no one to help him, he had a traumatic childhood, etc. But the more you learn about him the worse he becomes. He believes he’s superior to pretty much everyone he meets, has committed various atrocities you gradually learn about in the story, and he believes he’s in love with someone he’s never met and spends a great deal of the story fantasizing about her and their future relationship. It’s pathetic-- but it seemed pretty clear to me I’m not supposed to like him, so I read the story knowing that.
Anyway, this wasn’t my favorite, but it is an interesting introduction to Ambergris. It’s from the perspective of an outsider, so alongside Dradin you learn things about the city such as the various religious sects, the gray caps, and the Festival. It is jarring when the Festival starts out as this whimsical parade and then goes full Purge for the rest of the story. That feeling pretty much lasts the rest of the book.
The Hoegbotton Guide to the Early History of Ambergris
The conceit of this one is that it’s a travel pamphlet written for tourists to provide a quick rundown of Ambergris’ early history. But the writer Duncan Shriek is so obsessed and passionate about the subject that he goes into way more detail than necessary. He also makes extensive use of the footnotes (often longer than the actual page) to (1) insult the reader, who he assumes is a stupid tourist who will skip them, (2) go on long rants about various other historians, and (3) go into intricate, intense detail or speculation about seemingly innocuous things in the main text. Honestly relatable.
Personally, I love a good history text, so a well-done fictional one is lots of fun. The stylistic choices are engaging and a great characterization tool. The “story” really came together for me in the third act. Super eerie and surreal, and a lot of details about the gray caps and a vast underground kingdom-- but there’s still a sense of unreality, because the account exploring this may or may not be a fake. Anyway, I really enjoyed this one.
The Transformation of Martin Lake
This one is technically two stories at once. Martin Lake is an unknown painter looking to make his big break in Ambergris, when he receives an anonymous letter inviting him to a beheading. Alternating with these novel sections are excerpts written by art critic Janice Shriek (recognize the name?) which analyze the creepy and grotesque paintings made by Martin Lake-- Ambergris’ most famous artist.
This piece was by far my favorite of the main four. Janice evaluates various paintings created by Lake and speculates on the meanings behind them. The Gothic horror story sections star Martin, and the events within reveal the true origins of each painting. The horror story is very creepy and well written, and I really like Martin more than most of the protagonists. It’s also amusing to see just how incorrect Janice’s analyses are. Overall this was a very well structured and entertaining read. (Side note: to whom it may concern, this is where the LGBT Protagonist tag comes from.)
Also, Janice and her brother are apparently the central characters in the next book? I enjoyed both of them so I'm excited for that.
The Strange Case of X
A psychiatrist interviews a mental patient known simply as X, who believes he has invented the world of Ambergris, and he’s actually from a place called Chicago.
I'm torn on this one because I feel I accidentally ruined it for myself. The premise sounds like a pretty cliche setup, but there's a twist at the end that keeps it interesting. The only problem is I went into the story assuming that twist was the case. It's not even like I guessed it or picked up on hints or whatever... I just assumed the twist for whatever reason, so I got to the reveal and was just like "...yeah?"
Anyway, this one’s a good read, just not my favorite. X is obviously a fictionalized version of VanderMeer. I didn’t find him as important in the context of this story, but notes found in his cell make up the appendiX. I *did* really enjoy the story excerpt within this one that starts like a children’s book with very simple sentences, then slowly evolves into more complex language over time until it’s like the rest of the book. The swap between third and first-person in the story, then the narrator commending himself on how clever he is, was pretty funny and good characterization.
The appendiX
Dr V’s Note + X’s Notes
Technically this is 2 “stories” but they’re presented together. Dr V’s note is just an outline of the stories in the appendiX, which are apparently various notes, pamphlets, writing journal excerpts, and pieces of paper he found in X’s cell. He speculates on the meaning behind some of them. It’s a handy reference that I turned back to a few times. X’s Notes are literally just some misc author’s notes/ideas. The final note, though, draws back to the surreal scene I mentioned from The Hoegbotton Guide, which implies it is in fact real.
The Release of Belacqua
This one is about an actor named Belacqua who’s been typecast into a specific role, which he plays every single day. One evening at his hotel room home, he gets a super weird phone call from a woman looking for someone named Henry. Based on what happens in the story, I’m guessing Belacqua was probably supposed to be a character in one of the stories but got scrapped, and this story is literally about scrapping him. It was kinda meh for me.
King Squid
No, I’m not transcribing the entire title of this one -- it’s, uh, quite long. This one is sort of like The Hoegbotton Guide, except it’s a biological treatise written by a man named Frederick Madnok about the King Squid, which is Ambergris’ main economic staple. Like The Hoegbotton Guide, the author goes into intricate detail on what he considers important and makes extensive use of footnotes. The thing is, Madnok is clearly going through a nervous breakdown as he writes, and the footnotes and tangents grow weirder over time, often delving into vague memories and details about his home life as a child.
I think this one really shines when you get to the bibliography and notice it’s longer than the rest of the story and seems to list every single book Madnok has ever read. Personally I found a lot of the titles funny, but you could be forgiven for skipping them. However, certain titles have side notes, supposedly to point out notable things about them. Some of these, however, are disturbing and clearly unrelated to the title. Eventually, Madnok goes into a full breakdown and starts to describe himself transforming into a squid -- a phenomenon he described earlier in the text. His breakdown, juxtaposed with the absolutely immaculate formatting of the story, really made this one stand out to me.
The Hoegbotton Family History
The Hoegbottons are a merchant family. Their company Hoegbotton & Sons is basically the Wal-Mart of Ambergris and is present through multiple stories. This text is interesting for some context for the next story, but not particularly notable on its own. V’s notes at the beginning say as much.
The Cage
One of the early Hoegbottons visits a mansion which has been condemned after an attack by the gray caps to purchase the remaining assets to resell. Among the items he finds a strange, seemingly empty birdcage which he can’t stop obsessing over.
This was my favorite story by a long shot. It was insanely creepy and surreal with the best visuals in the book. There are references everywhere to fungi and decay, and there’s something very odd going on with Hoegbotton’s blind wife that defies explanation. And obviously, the cage itself and what’s going on with it is very disturbing. Contains very very very good body horror which is apparently just A Thing for me. Of all the stories this one had the most Southern Reach-y vibe.
In The Hours After Death
This one describes what happens to a man after he dies, and it’s not quite what you think. It’s a short piece and I liked the writing; very melancholy and surreal. It’s one of those stories that just incidentally takes place in Ambergris, but would be a good story outside of it, too. Until the end, that is, which ties it back to the gray caps in another creepy way. Thanks.
The Man Who Had No Eyes
This one is notable because apparently, in the original release, it was written entirely in code. You had to use page numbers, paragraph numbers, and lines in the rest of the book to decode it. Because this edition is an updated re-release which shifted the pages and format around, it doesn’t work anymore. Instead Dr. V provides a decoded version. However, some of the words are wrong, and the final paragraph is still in code (supposedly because V was afraid to keep going). I had to look up the story online to get the full picture.
Anyway, I suspect this story is foreshadowing for stuff that’s going to happen in future installments. It describes the gray caps taking the city back over and flooding it, and how they mutilate a writer living in the city so he has to find alternative ways to keep writing. It mentions the goddamn cage again. It’s kind of fever-dream creepy.
The Exchange
Depicts a short story about the Festival of the Freshwater Squid (remember that?). Apparently this story is provided by Hoegbotton & Sons for people who purchase a safe house to avoid getting straight-up murdered during the Festival. The story itself is entertaining and has a great twist at the end, but what’s interesting is someone’s made extensive annotations to the piece describing the fallout between the author and illustrator. I found it most fun to read the base story, then go back and read the annotations-- it felt like I was seeing the same story from very different perspectives.
Learning to Leave the Flesh
This one’s referenced in The Strange Case of X. Unlike every other story, this actually doesn’t take place in Ambergris, but our world. However, like The Strange Case of X mentions, details and names from Ambergris seemingly appeared in the story even though he had no recollection of putting them there.
Honestly, it’s an OK work of fiction but was probably my least favorite. Mostly it felt like lengthy flavor text for a story I’d already read. The ending was pretty good, though.
The Ambergris Glossary + A Note on Fonts
Putting these two together. The Glossary actually answered a lot of questions I had and clarified some events from the various stories. (”What the fuck is with the Living Saints. What the absolute fuck-- oh.”) It’s implied that some of the entries are written by Duncan Shriek. Hi, again.
A Note on Fonts describes the various fonts from different stories as if it’s a wine tasting, which was hilarious.
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Jack's 2019 Video Games in Review
Once again it's the time of year for me to do a quick, off-the-cuff run through of the games I played this year. As ever most, and nearly all, were not actually released in 2019 and some date a while back, but who cares, I play what I like.
Prey and Prey: Mooncrash
I had a thoroughly enjoyable time with Prey. It's a tight and very atmospheric world that's intriguing to be in and fun to mess around with, however, I just couldn't get the game to stick with me. I think it's because in the end it's far too reminiscent of System Shock 2, of which it is inspired by, and I can't help but feel that the loops, and the tone of the plot was too similar for it to really grow out on it's own.
It's a good thing, then, that it was followed up by Mooncrash. It's genuinely interesting premise, of a persistent world where you play several 'runs' as different characters with different abilities, was a fresh take on the familiar Deus Ex/Thief style emergent sim, and made the whole Prey experience worth it. Can't wait to see how Arkane evolves the concept with Deathloop.
Halo Wars
It's been over a decade but I finally got around to playing the first Halo Wars game. Not a lot to say really. It's attempt at a console-only RTS is interesting to experience and is not very well executed and it's plot is just identical to the first Halo game but not as surprising. Unmemorable.
Battletech: Flashpoint, Urban Warfare and Heavy Metal
The Battletech DLC released this year all contributed heavily to improving my opinion of a game I already loved. Each one added new ideas and concepts and I'm hoping we'll see them develop over a sequel. The mini-campagins were all well written and genuinely funny at times. If I have one criticism it's that they waited until the last DLC to add a tonne of new mechs and weapons and equipment and I never go to use most of them because I'd already experienced the vast majority of the missions. Good for new players, not so much for me, but if you haven't played it yet getting it with all the DLC is a hell of a recommendation.
Hyper Light Drifter
I loved the tone and the aesthetic of this abstract sci-fi tale, but gameplay wise, it just wasn't my jam. Unforgiving and more for players in it for the challenge. Give me a more chill game in this setting please.
Ladykiller in a Bind
One of the few games that have genuinely handled the push and pull of personal morals vs personal gain I've ever seen. Despite being billed as an erotic comedy, the game is much more about thrills and tension than all that. There are some valid criticism of how the game handles sexuality (look it up if you're concerned), but in terms of games telling stories of manipulation I don't think I've ever seen a game quite like it.
Hitman (Season One)
Hitman realising that it actually works better as an episodic black-dramady was one of best moments for the world of gaming. A pitch perfect representation of a bald asexual assassin jet setting around the world to sexy locals and giving terrible people ironic deaths. A classic and I'm only partway through Hitman 2, but they certainly didn't drop the ball with the sequel either.
The Witcher, The Witcher 2, The Witcher 3 with Hears of Stone and Blood and Wine
Playing all these games back to back game me whiplash. The Witcher is one of the worst games I have ever played. It's poorly designed, badly written and has a visual aesthetic that is washed out and grim. I felt my mental health getting worse just playing it.
Witcher 2 is a vast improvement. A vibrant colourful world, solid gameplay and a well written, multi-layered plot of politics and vengeance. Only brought down slightly by it's tendency to take the tone in the edgiest direction possible. I cringed a lot, at story moments in this game.
Witcher 3 is one of the greatest games ever written. Gone is the jank of the first game, gone is the try hard edge of the second. Witcher 3 cares about it's characters as much as it does about giving you a massive world to lose yourself 2. It's the perfect marriage of cinematic storytelling and a go anywhere, do anything open world. Things get even better with Hearts of Stone, and even even better with Blood and Wine.
Wolfenstien: Youngblood
Most people had nothing but bad things to say about Youngblood, but I had nothing but a great time with it. The gameplay was a blast, the world was fun to explore, the characters were a joy to hang around with and the story, while nothing special, was still interesting enough to see how it unfolds. I don't get why people reacted so negatively.
Baba is You
The block puzzler's ultimate form. I don't see how you make a game of this genre any better after this. Just play the dang thing.
Fugue in Void
A super short (20 minutes) environmental experience. Leaves you things to think about. Not for the kind of person who can't spend two minutes in a modern art gallery.
Pathfinder: Kingmaker and Varnhold’s Lot
It would take all day for me to talk about my complicated feelings for Kingmaker, so I'll put it this way. Great story, great characters, great gameplay all brought down by an ill-fitting mash up with an otherwise well designed kingdom management sim and some head-bashingly obnoxious moments where massive story elements are tied to seemingly unrelated decisions you made twenty hours ago.
Damn I wanted to like this game, but as the credits rolled I just felt I'd been cheated.
Minit
A quick once-and-done that's dedicated to one particular concept that it pushes as far as it can go. What can you get done with 60 seconds per life before you respawn and how does the world react around you. Really interesting.
The Signal from Tolva
Another game that's dedicated to it's singular concept. Explore a mysterious alien world in a post-human universe. Unusual, weird and inspiring. It's free DLC has an unreasonably large difficulty spike, however.
Potatoman Seeks the Troof
A funny visual design but too difficult for me to finish.
Hand of Fate
A really interesting concept, combining a deck building game with a dungeon crawler. Tightly designed, the vast majority of your early runs will be sharp and surprising. Long outstays it's welcome however as the clunky combat controls do the more difficult encounters no favours, and you find you're only still playing to try and grind out the last few tokens you need to unlock. I have high hopes for when I eventually get round to the sequel.
Warhammer: Vermintide 2: Winds of Magic
The arrival of the beastmen is another well executed addition to the overall Vermintide 2 experience, but I wish I could say the same thing about the new Winds of Magic campaign mode. Short, sharp 'challenge maps' that require you complete them before you unlock the next, can be almost impossibly difficult at times, made all the worse that you can't play with bots and managing to catch a party playing the specific map you're on is just as impossible. Fatshark's first failed experiment with the game.
The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion: The Shivering Isles (sort of)
I've only been jumping back in to Oblivion on and off this year, so I still haven't finished it's final DLC. Maybe I haven't got into it far enough yet but I don't feel it distinguishes itself enough from vanilla Oblivion like a lot of people claim it does, and a lot of the 'people as concepts' ideas don't work for me. We'll see if I go on to finish it in 2020.
Normally I do a top 5 of games released in that year, but I don’t think I played more than three, so we’ll uhhh, say Baba is You is my game of the year.
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I generally don’t do these but...
I will do this because it’s a badge of honor and a thank you for @todayintokyo who gives me a daily vibe out of my second fav Country in the world (first one is my own, of course. My messy, chaotic, genius Italy).
So for everyone interested (I won’t tag people either... if you are among my 250+ readers, do it as freely as you like to share this unexpected hard time along others. Sharing makes us all feel less stranded I guess :))
1. Are you staying home from work/school? Yep. My University (Milano Bicocca) holds in-house lessons and curses and also exams and testing are/will be online. What I miss most are the lab works and the exchanges with foreign schools. I took one a few months ago in London and I was supposed to have another in May but... NOPE, of course.
2. If you’re staying home, who’s there with you? I am alone in my apartment. At first it was supposed to be shared rent with somebody else but then my parents just bought this out and lent it to me. I know. I am spoiled. But very grateful for what I have. I always try to give back the best I can because no one has merits in being born in a family instead of another. (pieces of second-rate philosophy in all my LONG answers courtesy of my mum and her influence on me. She’s a University Professor and her field is.. guess what.. ETHICS PHILOSOPHY)
3. Do you have pets to keep you company? Nope. Not allowed. But I like cats. Cats. CATS. They are elegant, refined, very clean, and they give you consideration and affection ONLY if they like you. I prefer to conquer somebody’s love instead than to have it by default. Then I am naturally a cat person instead of a dog’s. But I like all animals (I like snakes as well, so my range is pretty wide ;)), even though I don’t feel missing any in house. Generally I would be out of home most of the day and no pet would be happy in staying that much alone. I miss my grandparents’ kitty tho :)
4. Who do you miss the most? Family. Friends. Meeting new people when out. And... (is it fine to say it?) Well... in these lockdown times I miss... human touch. (You get what kind). I was seeing a guy when this all started and my old boyf also came back into the picture somehow. All on hold. And I avoid to think how that makes me feel because even in case I’d figure it out, what comes if one can’t act on the awareness? Exactly. So I put it all in a LONG pause. But yeah... I miss contacts. A LOT.
5. When was the last time you left your home? I go out every Thursday to buy all my grocery stuff. I am very methodic. My supermarket is pretty near and it’s BIG and I get there right before it opens (well... one hour almost before it opens, so I can be among the firsts in line). I look like a ninja: very sporty and technically dressed (like for a running competition!) with clothes and shoes which are easy washable, tech mask (it is for cycling competition, with filters specifically medical: the mask is washable as well after you’ve used it, while the filter is obviously not), cotton fit gloves and over them medical gloves (I can’t wear directly medical gloves because my skin is very sensitive and I suffer from nickel allergia, which makes latex gloves a NO NO directly on skin), teck googles which cover also the side of my face (those are from cycling items too) and of course PODS in my ear because I can’t live without music :)
6. What was the last thing you bought? I bought online a few garden tools for my biggest balcony. I have ZERO skill with plants (and I am supposed to become a biologist... the nerve! LOL) but I am keen at making grow at least rosemery for my recipes. I have a little peach tree and it is all fine so far. I have hope I can do better and anyway I have time now ;)
7. Is quarantine driving you insane or are you finally relaxed? I try to keep my routine as it was before. I wake up and perform all my tasks exactly as I was doing before this all started. I am VERY organized and to lax on that would ruin me, so I carefully focus on what I can control the best I can. It feels strange to say it maybe but... this way my mood isn’t particularly affected by this heavy revolution in my (and everyone elses’s) life.
8. Are you a homebody? NOPE. I love people, I love my Milan and its being always full of people everywhere. I love living in my town a TON, I love meeting friends anywhere, go dancing, I love to live my University life in this beautiful and renewed part of Milan; I like being surrounded by my people and meeting new ones. So being stuck at home would seem insufferable for me. But I learnt from this (there’s always something to learn in any experience) that I can be surprisingly ok with staying home too. I came to know better my neighbors. I feel a sense of community with everyone living nearby and I have come to love my domesticity too. It was a surprise for me first ^.^
9. What movies have you watched recently? In Italy, Italia 1 channel has had the WONDERFUL idea to rebroadcast all Harry Potter saga every Monday and Thursday. Today and tomorrow there are the last two installments, so I can say that is what I looked out the most for as in movie things these past weeks (funny how I never particularly adored the books of HP, I mean, I liked them but... being a Tolkien’s devotee Rowlings’ literary efforts always seemed lackluster to me.. and still I have always liked the movies. It’s incoherent I know ;)). But I have Sky at home so I can watch whatever movie I like to whenever I want to. And that leads to VERY little watch actually. I am reading a ton though. I watch what passes on in the National channels actually, out of digital and cable and decide to watch it or not. For instance last Friday Rai 1 (main Italian Channel) broadcasted one of my fav movies from the past three years, GIFTED (with Chris Evans and Octavia Spencer) and I rewatched it with immense pleasure.
10. An event that you were looking forward to that got cancelled? OLYMPICS. I was supposed to be back in Japan with a a couple of friends and my bro for experience the Olympics (especially the volleyball tournaments) between July and August and that got (of course) cancelled. We plan to move it all to next year of course. But it hurts SO MUCH because it was easily what I was looking forward to BEST for all 2020. Hands down.
11. What’s the best and worst thing you’ve had to cancel? Look up. For the other question, I never plan things I don’t like (or at least I try my best not to) and I almost never find myself in the position of being happy for something I had going on which I had to pass due to circumstances. I am a very honest (sometimes to the point of bluntness, though with age I got trained in the fine art of diplomacy, which for me is declined especially in the “IGNORE WHAT IS NOT WORTHY degree) person and if there is something I don’t like I tend to not get involved with it in the first place.
12. Do you have any new hobbies? Eh... the longest list... I love so many things. Sport don’t count as hobbies to me because I treat them as part of my daily life constantly. So take them off. I like to write, to draw, to paint... I like reading, I like learning... I am a tech geek; I like gaming (but that I have to cut it or it would absorb me too much)... I like TRAVELING (that is cut off too of course nowadays), and many other things so I guess I don’t literally have SPACE for new hobbies. My many ones makes it impossible to fall for new things though lately I am becoming a better cook out of needs ;)
13. What are you out of? My lists are made as soon my things become “two items in from having 0″. This way I can’t run out of anything. Did I say already I am a HUGE control freak? THAT ;)
14. What music are you listening to? My itunes collections lists so far 12376 ALBUMS. Then I have the random songs. Latest one I bought (because I buy them all) is Achille Lauro’s latest 16 Marzo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yb-9RESbeWA
I am also listening a lot to one of my bro’s fav bands Radiohead and as usual a lot to my beloved Imagine Dragons. My mum and dad are also telling me to listen to Bill Withers (who recently passed away) whole discography because he was amazing. I love many music genres. I love ALL which makes the spirit soar and rage and evolve and love and cry and hope.
15. What are you reading? So far in quarantine I read 5 books. I have now to start ORIGINS by Dan Brown. I pick the books I have left unread randomly and that was the pick this time (people gift me with books constantly because they know I am a bookworm when I have spare time).
16. What are you doing for self-care? Keep loving myself and life and the world exactly the way I used to before this all started.
17. Are you exercising? Yup. Tapis roulant, golf training, stepper (all in my house lucky me) and mat and weight training. I have a routine for which I have to train at least one hour a day. NO EXCEPTION. I miss swimming but I will do. I am also in recovery after January’s knee meniscus intervention so my schedules are also taking that into consideration.
18. How’s your toilet paper supply? I'm OK. :)
19. Have you made any changes to your hair during quarantine? Nope. I love to stylize my hair but I don’t have specific cuts. It grows long and then I play with them hairstyles: braids, buns, ponytails, partitions and the likes.. But I have bleached hair and I had to follow my hairdresser advice because I can’t allow ugly roots to take dominance of me ^.^ So I bought the necessary to self bleach them. No need to say as soon as I will be able to, Hairdressers and Massages and SPA will be my first destination ^.^ (beside visiting family and friends of course).
I am fairly sure I put lots of typos and mistakes in this but I have my online lesson just starting in 8 minutes and I can’t review this (I generally never do it anyway). So forgive me and have a beautiful day ;)
STAY SAFE OUT THERE!!! Hugs K.
#ask list#wow my first one#and probably my last#covid19#quarantine#lockdown#italy#milan#tag your friends#coronavirus
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