#but it’s so unbelievably hard when you come from a life of constant trauma | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thedelusionreaderbitch · 3 years

Text

Kaz Brekker x male! Reader - Terribly Wrong

A/n: So this was really hard to write in a way for me but I hope you guys like it! Also, I do have a request so I should be finishing that up soon!

Warnings: homophobia, mentions of conversion therapy, abuse the reader doesn't think very good about himself, trauma, language, I think that's it? You have been warned!

Summary: Idk how to summarize but it ends in fluff so?...

(Not my image/art)

He was a goner.

Y/n L/n was a sweet man who was always happy, always cheerful, always trying to see the good in everything.

That was anything but the truth.

That was the mask he let everyone see, and no one had ever seen past it. They always wondered how he, someone who must have been a literal ray of sunlight had gotten himself thrown into the barrel. Now, they didn't think he wasn't capable at his job it was more the fact that he was always so happy and everything around seemed to glow when he was there.

They just didn't understand how he could be so... Good.

He wore the mask well, being very careful to never even give a hint that he might not be okay, that he might not be as perfect as they think. And he always stayed through everything for the Crows and their ruthless leader.

But the cord had been cut and he was at his end.

He always felt so wrong in this world. It was like there was everyone else then there was him and he just felt out of place.

He grew up in a very religious household his parents weren't very great either. He was told that homosexuality was a sin beyond anything and that it was the worse thing that you could do.

After his parent's death, he was set off into an orphanage where it wasn't any better. It was worse. They reinforced their beliefs by beating the kids, starving them, and even using mental tricks. On kids.

But at least most of the children (that he knew of) didn't have anything wrong with them.

He was- He was gay.

There was no easy way to say how he felt. When he had finally gotten out and got swiped up by Dirtyhands because of his skills for fighting and his skills with a bow and arrow he had felt... Relief.

But it didn't last long.

He started developing something for Kaz. Something wrong and gross, it disgusted him when he would feel butterflies for a guy. Especially if it was Kaz. It nauseated him to think that he hadn't gotten rid of it. The sin, the homosexuality.

And slowly the Crows were formed and he watched them all come together (including him) and that feeling didn't go away but he felt like had finally belonged somewhere.

It was fucking amazing.

But it came with a price.

Slowly Kaz and he had gotten closer and they were beyond the point where Kaz would try and push him away. Y/n, he tried but it was useless. Tell him straight to his face that you would look away from those deep brown eyes that could look cold but then had glimpses of gold in them.

His mind was in peril, it was in constant combat with itself. Swords would clash together, the sound ringing in his head. He just couldn't get it out of his thoughts. One part of him would remember the way Kaz had first brushed his hand against his and how it felt right. But the other side of him would be repulsed that he even thought that, that was okay.

He was a mess.

That's what got him so lost while he was looking over Ketterdam on the rooftop of the Slat. Looking over Ketterdam and its darkness. pondering what the fuck he should be doing, because damn it, he had no idea. He was going through his head trying to decide what part to listen to, and how Kaz had broken his mask and seen the real him. How he loved how his lips had brushed against his knuckles, how he felt like he should be burned at the stake after he had left.

Don't get him wrong though, he supported when Wylan and Jesper got together. Never flinching or cringing when they kissed or did something sensual with each other (although sometimes he would fake gag). It was just the fact that when he was the one feeling that way, his trauma would hold a leash on him. He felt like an abused dog that's always been tied up and now that he's been let free he didn't know how to live without the leash.

While he was so lost in thought he didn't even hear Kaz come up. He felt a bare hand on his shoulder and he flinches in surprise, but he doesn't have to look up to know who it is.

It's him.

"You should go inside. We have a job tomorrow."

If Y/n had not been so lost in thought if he hadn't been so pent up about the feeling of Kaz's bare hand on his shoulder. How he couldn't breathe, how he could swear he could smell Kaz's sent and it was driving him crazy. He might have realized the deeper meaning of Kaz's words, the blunt words that any normal person would have brushed off or even felt hurt by. If he had not been so pent up with everything then a small smile might have been brought to his face knowing that this was Kaz's way of caring for him.

But it didn't. And that's when Kaz must have known something was wrong. Terribly wrong.

"I don't know." He blurts out. Really L/n? That's what you say 'I don't know!'

Kaz raises his eyebrow and shifts his body so he's facing the boy.

"Care to elaborate?"

Y/n is internally screaming at himself. Why the fuck did he have to say anything? He can't just deflect or walk away from this one, time to face the music he guessed. Or he would find a way out of this one like he did all those other times. Like he always would be doing for the rest of his life. Deflect and run. It was the mantra he played in his head to keep going and it had never failed him. But there's a first time for everything.

"I don't know how-" He cut himself off. How could he explain how he felt so wrong? How could he tell Kaz it was like he was in an alternate reality every time he was with him but when he left he did something unbelievably wrong there?

"I don't know how I-I love you."

Kaz's eyes flash with something unrecognizable but he doesn't tell him to stop so Y/n takes that as a vote of confidence and keeps on talking.

"I was always taught that loving the opposite sex was a horrible thing, a sin even and I just never thought that this- whatever we have, would happen. Or last..."

The man squeeze's his eyes shut pushing back all of the memories that had hurt him, broken him even. But then a new spark ignited in his eyes, they may have broken him but they just had made this, whatever he had with Kaz stronger. They had burned the flames of hell so high that he absorbed a portion of its power. He was more powerful because of it and using what they had used to burn him he let it fuel him. And he made a choice.

"But I realize I now that they're all wrong."

Y/n turns so he's looking directly into those dark eyes that look like beautiful black breathtaking suns. And he Y/n L/n was orbiting them and he realized he always would be.

Besides, maybe Kaz would never fully understand what he had to go through, what he had to overcome. Though no one else could steal his heart the way Brekker had and he was bubbling with real happiness for once and about what the future could hold.

"They should have warned me that a certain Demjin would steal my heart. Unfortunately for them, they did not."

Kaz leans forward a bit and a small smile grace's his lips and Y/n wants to see that smile again and again and he never wants it to stop.

"Good it made my job a lot more easier."

Their noses are brushing now and he sees Kaz stare at his lips and he blushes at the thought. The thought of kissing Kaz or the thought of Kaz wanting to kiss him.

"Likewise."

And their lips slowly come together.

Words 1390

-thedelusionreaderbitch

Shadow and bone taglist: @kaqua @rika90 @thefandomplace @musical-theatre-obsessed-dumbass @gallysonegoodlung @navs-bhat @sumsebien

185 notes · View notes

nessinborderland · 4 years

Text

Be Mine (09)

Pairing: Niragi x Reader / Chishiya x Reader

Genre: Smut, Angst, Fluff, Omegaverse

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: You were able to stay unbounded throughout your life. You didn’t want an Alpha; you didn’t need one. You would rather die than to give yourself to some random male. But the man that saved your life thinks differently.

Warnings: Alpha/Omega, Dubious Consent, Vaginal Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Finger fucking, Rough Sex, Rough Kissing, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Breeding, Pregnancy Kink, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Drama, Developing Relationship, Past Abuse, Scars, Death, Blood and Gore, Animal Death, Trauma, Bath Sex, Blood and Injury, Oral Sex, Dom/sub Undertones, Feelings

Notes: Here it is, the so awaited bonding chapter! A lot of you will probably be disappointed with the result, but I personally love it. Also, I have decided to write "What if reader bonded with X" when I finish this fic, so fear not. Also, would like to thank everyone that has left a heart, comment or reblog; ya'll mean a lot to me. Yes, even you, silent readers <3 Hope you enjoy :)

AO3 Link Masterlist

You wake up to burning pain.

It's so unbelievably painful that you almost fall off the bed as you struggle to stay still. This is so much stronger than any other heat you've had before. This is agony. Your hand is at your core before you're even fully conscious, fingers already inside as you try to ease some of the pain. It does nothing but add to the burning sensation.

You take a deep breath, cunt squeezing around your own fingers when you smell him. You open your eyes to look at Niragi, still unconscious beside you. He gives out such an alluring and delicious scent that you feel yourself both salivating and getting wetter. You're on top of him in seconds; you need him inside you as soon as possible, you need him to knot in you, to bond with you.

No. What are you doing? He's unconscious. You can't.

Is with a huge amount of struggle that you're able to step away from his sleeping form. You stumble to the bathroom, turning the shower on as you rip your clothes off you. You're so unbelievably hot that it almost feels like you're on fire. The kind of fire that only an Alpha can pull out.

You scream when the cold water hits your burning skin, but keep yourself under its stream. You need to control yourself, you need to get some illusion of power over you. You can’t let it take over you. You can’t let it consume you.

But it hurts so much.

You fall to your knees as you go back to touching yourself, legs open as you thrust three fingers inside you, the other hand rubbing your clit. But it does nothing to help, and you almost sob from desperation. You need something, someone, that can make it stop.

Chishiya.

He's an Alpha, and he's conscious. He can help you.

No.

If you go to him you'll be bonded and then there's nothing you can do. That's what you keep saying to yourself over and over and over. You can't bond with him, but part of you wishes that he would just burst through Niragi's bedroom door.

The other is terrified that he will.

Time goes by where you do nothing but cry and masturbate, forcing yourself to stay still and not do anything that you’ll regret later. It’s a constant fight with your wolf, and she’s desperate to win the war. It’s so unbelievably painful that you keep standing up to go find Chishiya or, even worse, just take Niragi’s unconscious body. But you hold on; you have to, for as long as it takes.

You smell him before you see him. His scent alone makes you moan. You stare wide-eyed at the bathroom door, jumping to your feet when it opens.

Chishiya stands there.

He looks the most out of control you have ever seen him. Wide yellow eyes, pupils so big they almost look black; body shaking uncontrollably, sweat sticking hair to his face and neck; shirtless, a visible bulge in his swim shorts.

He looks like everything you’ve ever wanted.

He throws himself at you before either of you can say anything, kissing and rubbing his crotch against your core as he presses you against the shower tiles. You let him, arms pulling him closer. He feels so good, so right, exactly what you need. Your wolf trembles with anticipation.

"Alpha... Alpha…" you beg, licking his neck. He feels so good against you. You need more. You need him to ravish you, to consume you, to make you his. "Please, Alpha, it hurts."

When he finally thrusts inside you, it feels like bliss. It's such a fantastic sensation that you feel yourself coming immediately, cunt clenching around him as you scream his name. That doesn't stop his ruthless shoves, cock stretching you and filling you to the brim as he mates you under the cold stream of water. His teeth graze your neck and you shiver, moaning his name as he keeps fucking you through your orgasm. You beg him to bite you, to mark you, but his teeth never break the skin. His mouth goes to your ear, biting the earlobe with a light chuckle.

“I told you I was going to–”

And then he falls to the ground, almost taking you with him. You look up to see Niragi, gun in hand as he stares at you. He still looks pale, but there’s a feverish, animal-like look in his eyes that makes you gasp and squeeze your thighs together. He points the gun at Chishiya, before turning it around and hitting the other man's skull, time and time again. He only stops when you throw yourself at him, wet body pressed against his, hands pulling his head down for a kiss. He drops the gun then, arms going around you as he takes you to the bed. You say his name over and over, begging him to fill you.

And he does.

Oh, he does. If Chishiya felt unbelievably amazing, Niragi feels out of this world.

You fall on the bed in a mess of tangled limbs, his body on top of yours as he enters you. You whine against his mouth, chanting his name as he thrusts in and out of you at a pace he never used before. Your arms and legs surround him, pulling him closer, deeper. You want him to take you, all of you. He moans in unison with you, kissing you as roughly as he fucks you.

“Mine...mine...mine,” he repeats in time with his thrusts. His hands grip your thighs, folding you in half as he shoves himself in you, over and over. You’re coming not long after, lips on his neck as you beg again to be bitten, to be marked. He doesn’t slow down his pace, keeping it hard and fast.

You yelp when he suddenly stops, turning you on your belly and shoving himself back inside you. His pelvis slaps against your ass with each shove, making you see stars as the new position allows him to fuck you deeper. You feel so full, so unbelievably filled to the brim. You want more. You tilt your hips further up, allowing him to go so deep inside you that it hurts. But you enjoy the pain, enjoy the stretch, enjoy everything your Alpha is giving you.

One of the hands gripping your hips slides up your back with surprising carefulness, fingertips barely touching your scars. You gasp when that hand goes around your neck with barely any pressure, before pulling you flat against his chest. He doesn’t stop fucking you even then, mouth now glued to your neck and marking spot.

Then it happens.

You can’t contain the gasping moan that leaves your body when his sharp fangs break the skin at the base of your neck. It’s like you go blind for a moment, and you can’t feel anything but him. In your body, in your mind, in your soul. All around you, there’s him; nothing else matters.

You can’t really describe what happens next.

It’s like you’re him. But he’s also you. You’re one and the same. Your mind is stormed with emotions, memories, and thoughts that are not your own. Is nothing like the first time he bit you. Before, it was like you got a small taste of what he was feeling at the moment. But this is like... your souls are connected. His fears, his pain, his happy moments, his regrets, his mistakes. The good and the bad; they’re not a secret to you anymore. What was once a sealed diary is now an open book. You feel like laughing, screaming, and crying, all at the same time.

You hear his surprised gasp as he undoubtedly feels what you feel, your memories going through his mind like a slideshow. You let him take over your soul, and he lets you take over his. There’s nothing to be afraid of anymore; no one will be able to understand you as much as he does, and the same applies to him.

No more secrets.

Then you feel it; the knot. Your first reaction is to try to move away from the odd stretching sensation inside you, but Niragi’s hands force you to stay still, a growl forming in his chest as he sinks his teeth further into your skin. So you freeze, gripping his hair as he knots in you. It’s a mix of pain and pleasure; you want to make him stop as much as you want to tell him to keep going. He stays still as he keeps filling you up with cum, the swollen knot at the base of his cock making it impossible for any of it to go to waste.

“You’re mine now,” he says with a grunt, “My Omega.”

And then you're both collapsing on the bed, gasping for breath. His arms hug you as he rolls to the side, making you wince as he pulls you with him. You lay there, his heartbeat in your ear, his warmth all around you, and his knot inside you.

Is bliss. Is what you were born to do. Everything is as it should be.

“I wonder what would happen if I killed you right now and took her for myself…” Chishiya’s voice makes both of you freeze.

Niragi’s arms tighten around you, and he growls a warning as Chishiya gets in your line of sight. He’s dressed in his swim shorts again, white hair wet with water and blood, as he lazily walks to your side of the bed. In his hand, there’s Niragi’s sniper rifle.

“Get out!” Niragi orders. Chishiya makes no mention of it, ignoring the man as he crouches, locking eyes with your mate before looking at you. You can’t exactly decipher his expression; he doesn’t look mad or disappointed. He looks...curious?

“So,” he says in a soft tone that makes your stomach curl with uneasiness. “What does it feel like to be bonded for life?”

“Give me five minutes and I’ll let you know,” Niragi says, fangs exposed. He tries to move, stopping immediately as you cry out from the pain; you’re still connected, after all. You gasp when Chishiya stands straight, pointing the gun in the other man’s direction. You close your eyes as Niragi covers your head, expecting a gunshot. However, nothing happens. “You better fucking leave, or I swear I’m going to kill you as soon as I’m able to,” Niragi says through gritted teeth. You can feel his fear, his rage, his almost desperation to keep you safe when someone else clearly has the upper hand.

You open your eyes when Chishiya huffs out a laugh. His expression doesn’t change as he leans the gun against the bedside table before going back to his previously crouching position.

“Do you know what happens with Omegas after a broken bond?” he asks. Not to you; he almost acts like you’re not there. “They go insane.” he says, a smirk pulling at his lips, “The pain of losing their Alpha is so unbearable that most of them commit suicide. That or they become an outcast, more beast than human.”

Even mentioning broken bonds is considered taboo; it’s not something that any wolf talks about like it’s nothing. The mere thought of it makes you want to scream. And here he is, an Alpha, mentioning it like he’s talking about the weather. The threat is clear to you and Niragi, though. Very clear.

You wonder for a moment if he’s insane.

“Stop the games, Chishiya.” you gulp when his eyes lock on you, something flashing in the yellow of his iris, “Please, just...go away.". He leans his head to the side like he’s analyzing you, before standing up again.

“I just want you to keep in mind that bonding with a broken Omega would be more of a burden to me than anything,” he says with a shrug, walking towards the door, “That doesn’t mean I won’t try it, though.” he says over his shoulder, “We’ll see. Enjoy your honeymoon.”

When he finally leaves is like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders. You release the breath you didn’t even know you were holding, squeezing Niragi’s hand in yours and he kisses your neck.

“He’s not going to hurt you,” he promises in your ear. Horrible thoughts of losing your mate immediately take over your mind. You don’t know what you can expect from Chishiya; not really. He’s an enigma, and it scares you. Would he be capable of committing such an atrocity? You have little doubt about it.

This is the Borderlands; who’s going to stop him?

“I don’t worry about me…” you whisper, turning your head to look him in the eyes. You cradle his cheek, and he kisses your palm. “I don’t think he makes threats in vain.”

Niragi sighs. “That’s not something I want you to worry about,” he says. You don’t say anything; you don’t have anything to say. So you kiss him, lips hungry against his.

The kiss escalates to a point where you don’t even notice that the knot disappeared, moaning in his mouth as he moves again in and out of you. He fucks you much slower but with as much passion as before. You can’t even call it fucking; mating just feels like something else entirely. It’s a sensation that both you and your wolf crave to experience, again and again, until he’s knotted inside you, your name on his lips.

And that’s what you do countless times; until day turns into night and you’re both so tired that even keeping your eyes open feels like a Herculean task. So you sleep in each other’s arms, with no more pain or doubt inside you; not the usual one, at least.

Your rational side knows that this is far from being a fairy tale; it’s not even a romance. But that is not something that you’re willing to think about, right now.

For now, you can pretend that you’re madly in love with a good man, in a country that is not going to kill you, with people that don’t concern you.

For now, you can lie to yourself.

Next Chapter

#alice in borderland #ima wa no kuni no alice #Niragi Suguru #niragi x reader #niragi smut #alice in borderland fanfic #Chishiya x reader #chishiya shuntaro #alice in borderland imagines #also on ao3

294 notes · View notes

redrosesartcabin · 4 years

Text

Self indulgent series part 1

At home where everything seems fine

(Kenji x female reader, first perspective) (This story was originally written for me about me, which is why it’s called the self indulgent series. But because I’ve written so god damn much I decided to edit it a little, edit some things out as well etc and share some of it with you, I hope you’ll enjoy it!)

The horrors were over.

Where day after day, week after week we had to fight for our survival.

It was finally over.

Setting foot on land was a dream come true for us all, though it was also a heart wrenching goodbye as we went off home.

We had longed for home for so long, but we had also found a family in our new friends.

I especially felt that Kenji took the goodbye hard. Maybe even the hardest.

After all this time I knew all too well, that despite all the wealth he has, despite all the things he owns and the comfort he enjoys in life, there was no family he was going home to.

He was an only child with no known mother in the picture and an absent father. It tore me apart as I had to release him from the tight hug he had me in. It was the kind of hug that begged you to never let go. But I had to. My family was waiting. I had that luck.

I turned around with pain in my heart for him but the utmost joy as I saw my parents and siblings with tears in their eyes, seeing their long-lost daughter and sister alive and well.

I felt infinite warmth as they brought me into their embrace and we finally went home.

Before going home, we had told each other’s socials (none of us remembered our phone number after all that time) so we would stay in touch.

In the beginning we would talk to each other every day whenever possible for us. We all had a hard time especially when it came to getting into daily school life again, since we had to start over with the grade we had already started and thus weren’t with our old friends again, who had on top of that moved on as they had thought we had died and thus it was hard to reconnect.

Luckily, we all somehow found new connections again (many people took pity in us for what we had lived through) and we could move on.

As we did, so did our chatting.

No: of course, we didn’t lose contact. We were all a second family to each other and there was no way in hell we’d ever be able to live without each other ever again. Not after what we’ve been through.

We however lost the need to tell each other every little thing and could live on our own. Much like when a child moves out from their parent’s house. The child is used to seeing their parent every single day so the parents (if they are good parents that is) will feel the need that the child writes them every day and the child will feel the need to write and connect every day. But as they learn to be independent, they will lose their need to be connected to their parent and the parents will start trusting the child and not need them to write every day or all the time.

That was the case with us all: Except when it came to Kenji and me.

As unbelievable as it would’ve seemed in the past, we both became best friends. We would send each other stupid memes and laugh about animal videos and Tiktok or vine compilations on Youtube, or, on the other hand of the spectrum, we’d talk through the nightmares we sometimes had about what we lived through and the permanent trauma our time in Jurassic World had caused us. Somehow, we felt the most comfortable talking to each other about that as well as laughing about the same things.

We seemed to have a similar psyche, despite him being extroverted whilst I was introverted and him acting like a jerk to appear cool, whilst I would often refrain from talking and try to appear cold so people wouldn’t know who I was.

But on the insight, when you’d look past that outer shell, it turns out we are very similar people with very similar views. Kind of an opposites attract thing where we both had qualities that we both could benefit from and grow together as a person whilst holding the same principals and morals.

Though quicker than I could blink, that opposites attract thing turned into a huge, massive, enormous, gigantic crush.

I should’ve known that this would happen. Right after I figured it out for myself, I just had to groan. I had always found him very pretty, though I would’ve never admitted that: He had enough of an ego, I didn’t need to feed into that act any more than necessary.

During our adventurous time on the dino-island, I hadn’t had too much time to think about my own feelings. But now that I was safe again in my comfortable home, I had finally realized my dreaded crush.

I didn’t dread it, because it was him. I didn’t even dread it too much because we didn’t live in the same place (though that was quite annoying too). I dreaded it mostly, because of the simple fact that I probably wasn’t his type. And I hated that my first deep friendship with a boy had turned my head upside down after all. But he was just too beautiful not to crush on.

Or maybe I was even in love.

And so, I kept on dreading it, until one crazy day.

I was exiting my school around lunch time on Friday, idly chatting with a bunch of my newfound friends, when I detected a helicopter on the schoolyard.

“No way”, I whispered

“Might that be your little rich boyfriend?”, one of my girl friends asked me teasingly

“Oh shut it”, I gave her a jab in the side but had to giggle nonetheless.

And indeed, it was him. I mean: What other person would make such a grand arrival on a schoolyard?

Kenji had seemed to have detected me and got out of the helicopter.

“Y/Nnnnnnn”, Kenji yelled, stretching my name as he did

“Kenji!”, I screamed back and ran into his arms he opened wide for a loving embrace.

I didn’t care that everyone was looking or that they thought we both were lovers and that this might be a tad bit embarrassing and overboard: I had missed him too much to give a damn.

“Kenj’ my dude, what are you doing here?”, I asked, getting out of our embrace to take a good look at him. He was well dressed and styled as always.

“Sightseeing”, he answered with a sarcastic undertone which made me raise an eyebrow (I of course knew why he was here, it was a rhetorical question), “…Visiting you of course”, he explained anyways, “can’t I miss my best friend?”, he asked and I could feel my cheeks grow red.

Yes… best friend.

“Of course,”, I smiled back, “I missed you too, ya dingus. Though why did you come with the helicopter? Don’t you think it’s a little…much?”

“Well first of all: No, never. Secondly: It’s faster to fly here with the heli, and thirdly: I talked to your parents and they agreed you can come to my crib for the weekend”

“Really? You’re not messing with me?!”

“I swear”, he said, lifting his hand to make the swearing sign to show his uncrossed fingers, “and if you still don’t believe me you can just check your phone”, he added as he had pledged is truthfulness.

I tucked it out of my backpack and there it was: A message from my mom wishing me a good time over at Kenji’s. Plus informing me she had packed me a little luggage that Kenji already had in his helicopter. I wrote her thanks and a heart before facing Kenji again with a content smile.

“Ok then: What are we waiting for? Let’s go!”, I laughed, “Later you guys!”, I turned around to my friends who were giving me cheeky smiles and a thumbs up.

The flight lasted three hours in total. Though it felt like no time at all as Kenji and I caught up on things. And even when we were done with that, we found a way to talk about anything and nothing at all or sometimes even just sit there in a comfortable silence and looking out of the window. I had never flown in a helicopter and was in constant awe of it all. Kenji had made a little bit fun of that and called it “cute” which however made me fluster more than anything else. Him calling anything I do cute just made the butterflies in my stomach swirl like crazy.

We arrived on top of a huge roof that had a designated helicopter landing spot.

“Wow damn. Your house really is big!”

“Y/N: That’s the helicopter Garage”

“WHAT”

As we got out a tall man in a black suit, who carried my luggage, accompanied us through a trap door on the ground down to a huge hall with several helicopters in different colors and sizes.

My mouth was wide agape as I looked at it all.

“And where in the ever-loving f*ck is your real house then?”, I asked

“We are gonna be brought there by the limo in a sec”, he explained as casually as someone saying they were going grocery shopping.

Though that was probably more unusual for anyone in his family than it was for me to drive in a limousine.

We got out of the garage and waited on a small patio. Only a couple of seconds after we had exited, surely enough, a pitch black, perfectly cleaned limo appeared. A chauffeur exited the driver side opening the door, way in the back, “welcome Sir Kenji and Madame. Please enter”, he said in a very British accent and motioned us to get into the car.

“Wow” is all I could say at first but then could muster up a “thank you” without sounding too flabbergasted.

The drive from the helicopter Garage to the actual house (if you could call it that) was only a couple of minutes, but boy what a couple of minutes!

I was looking out of the window yet again. This time I was looking at a huge, very well groomed, garden. It had huge rose bushes, ponds with statues spewing water, a maze… just like you’d imagine the garden of a king to look like.

“Kenji: This is batshit insane. You live in a freaking palace!”, I exclaimed.

“Well: Did you think I was exaggerating when I said I was filthy rich?”

“Yes! Kinda!”, I answered, feeling my voice heighten, still not being able to process the sight before me, “it’s hard to believe that people can live like that”.

At that he just laughed, and we kept on just enjoying our company in silence.

And finally, we truly arrived.

We were let out again by the chauffeur. As I exited, I noticed a red carpet being rolled out in front of me.

I turned to Kenji arching an eyebrow at him.

“A red carpet? Really?”

“What? I just wanted the lady to feel welcome”, he grinned, and I couldn’t but laugh and feel my cheeks redden again.

I everted my eyes from his, because of how flustered I got, but mostly to look at the house… or well: Mansion.

It was a very modern construction. Mostly white and looking futuristic. It was the kind of construction you’d expect a man, owning one or the other huge corporation, to have.

It was almost a disappointing contrast to the old seeming garden, but it was impressive nonetheless. I felt like I had jumped forward in time to the year 2030 or something.

After analyzing the mansion for a bit, we walked towards the dark gray double door that was opened by what seemed to be a sort of butler.

I was now faced with the entrance hall. It was all paved with a grave shiny stone and had a big, golden chandelier on the exaggeratedly high ceiling. In the back of the hall were two gray stairways going up to the left and right with glass barriers. On the front were clothe holders made of ebony wood and hanging hooks made out of fine steel.

“If this visit gets anymore incredible, I’m gonna faint”, I whispered

“Please don’t, ‘cause it will get better, but I’m glad you like it”, he whispered back, and I giggled like a little schoolgirl.

Honestly, I could go on and on about everything he showed me in that building, but that would probably be twenty pages long, so I’m going to summarize with bullet points:

· The west wing, like in Beauty and the Beast, is off limits: Except it’s because Kenji’s father was working there and harboring some kinda lab or something. A little shady if you ask me but I didn’t further question that

· The east wing is full of fun rooms: A swimming pool room, a swimming pool patio outside together with a Shakuzi, a small private cinema room and of course, deep down in the cellar (at least he calls it that, for me it feels more like a casino), the bowling alley.

We spent the most time there, playing round after round where I didn’t let him win. Funny enough (though not the haha kind of funny) he almost cried tears of joy as he lost against me

· The middle part, one could say, had the entrance hall, the kitchen, as well as the living room that had a ginormous couch and a huge 3D Tv with a Nintendo, Xbox and the newest Playstation. We played a couple of games in which I always lost because my parents never allowed me to have a gaming console and thus I was a bit inexperienced with most of the games, except in the case of U-sing: I played that with my ex best friend from primary school when we were little, plus I have a good voice whilst Kenji, well… he could work on his vocals. We however had fun either way.

· And the third segment is the upper rooms with three bathrooms (one of which was Kenji’s), a spa room, a sauna and the bedrooms (that were strangely far apart from each other. A very bad gut feeling told me, that was on purpose).

As we arrived in Kenji’s room, I already saw my small red suitcase laying on the white, very comfortable looking carpet. It was one of those carpets with the long white fur like texture. I sometimes wondered what hid amongst the long fur, but knew in Kenji’s case, this room was kept squeaky clean by his father’s staff so I wouldn’t have to worry about that.

‘The guy cares a little I guess’, I thought as my thoughts wandered to Kenji’s father.

Kenji’s room itself indicated no personality at all. It was extremely odd. It looked like it came right out of a magazine. It had a big bed (usually such a bed a married couple in their 40’s would have), a white, of course, big wardrobe, a black colored dresser with a less impressive, yet still pretty modern Tv and another small dresser beside the bed, that had a very boring looking nighttime lamp on it where you could regulate the light by tapping on the bottom part. And a couple of steps away, parallel to the entrance door, was a big glass wall with an integrated door which led to a wooden balcony that had a small table, two chairs and a sun-umbrella.

‘Or maybe’, I continued the thought from before, ‘he simply cares about his son’s image’.

“Nice room”, I said, so it wouldn’t seem suspicious that I wasn’t as exited this time about what I saw. But I hate hiding the truth and when I try doing what I hate, I don’t come off as a good liar. So, one can imagine: He noticed my hesitation.

“Is something wrong y/n?”, he asked, genuinely concerned, “is there something in here you don’t like? I can remove-“

“No”, I interrupted him, “there is nothing wrong with it. That’s just the thing: It’s immaculate”

“And why is that… bad?”, he asked a bit confused. Not angry confused, but just plain old confused. I felt sorry for him: I simply just think too deeply about things sometimes.

“It’s not bad”, I answered, “I’d just say its extremely weird: Don’t you have any posters you wanna hang up? Or pictures? Photographies of memories with your friends? Books or magazines you like to have at your bedside? It’s just: You have so much personality, I sometimes fear you’ll implode if you fail to show it even for a second. I can’t imagine that you don’t want to decorate your room in any way at all”

“But what if I do?”, Kenji asked, though his confused expression had turned into a cold glare that made me wish he would look confused again. I felt a lump built in my throat and my heart race in fear. Not because I was scared of him: But more so of what he was trying to hide by pretending.

“Kenji”, I said softly, letting a concerned frown adorn my face, “it’s ok. I’m your best friend. You can talk to me about it. And before you ask: I know what this is all about as much as you know that I know. But I won’t say it because at the end of the day, it’s your choice, but just know: I’m there for you, I won’t judge”

There was a moment of deafening silence as Kenji seemed to contemplate whether he should react defensive and angry, that I brought it up, or tell the truth.

I was glad when I could visibly see his guard drop as he looked at me with saddened eyes.

It was heartbreaking, but I’d rather have that than a stupid fight. I’d rather have that, than him being arrogant and prideful, trying to push me away as he had in the very beginning in Jurassic World.

He sat down on his bed, and I right beside him, looking at him concerned as he stared on the floor.

“You’re right: It is because of my father.”, he began, “You see: He wants me to become like him. Keep the business going. I’m like the first born to a king. And so, he decided there was no room for me to be too much of an individual at some point. He wanted not only the house to always look presentable in case one of his strange buddies appeared, but also for me to start being presentable. It only got worse after I failed algebra. He pushed the role of being him more.

My father might not be the worst: He does gift me a lot of things, makes sure my room is clean and that I get transported to whatever place I want with whatever vehicle I want and buys me whatever I desire. But it’s a disguise, you see? Trying to cover up that I’m just a trophy. Just the predecessor. He wants me to favor and admire him so that I will be him one day. He doesn’t care about me like a dad cares about his son. We are no family”, his voice got quiet as he tried hiding his tears. I said nothing and decided to just embrace him. I felt him become weak in my arms and sob so touchingly, I almost cried with him.

A few minutes passed before his crying became hiccups and eventually quieted down.

“I’m sorry”, I murmured, “I shouldn’t have brought this up”

“No”, he answered, his voice still veiled in a layer of sadness, “it felt good. I haven’t cried like this in years. Thank you”

“You’re welcome”, I softly spoke back. I was glad he had relieved himself of that sadness he had seemed to hold in. I also immediately felt that this had also been the thing to finally have us come closer.

After that, we figured we watch something lighthearted to cheer us up again.

It was a rom com called ‘L.A. story’ we both found very amusing.

Though at some point, as the love story came to its highpoint, I noticed my mind drifting away into a side space in my brain, where suddenly the main characters were him and me.

My cheeks reddened for the third time that day (I almost feared he’d think I got a fever) and I could swear I felt his hand in mine… wait.

Was that real?

My gaze travelled from the screen to my hand and really: His hand was in mine.

Was that an accident or intentional?

‘Screw it! It’s now or never’, I thought as I felt daring for once.

I inched closer and leaned onto his shoulder. My heart was racing a hundred miles per hour it seemed as I waited for what his reaction would be. At first, he got stiff, but then everything happened at once and it happened fast. He lifted his head to look at me and I looked back into his deep, dark brown eyes and in one motion he leaned in and… kissed me.

At first, I couldn’t believe it, I was frozen in place, but soon enough before it could get awkward for him, I leaned in as well. Though I decided to just stay put and let my lips feel his carefully: It was my first kiss after all, I didn’t want to ruin it by getting sloppy.

We staid like that for a couple of seconds before deciding to part.

“You like me too?”, is the first thing I asked, amazed by what just happened.

“What are you talking about? I’ve liked you since I saw you! You are the one who likes me too”, he answered. My eyes first widened but then I couldn’t but laugh out loud.

“And I always thought I wasn’t your type”, I admitted flustered at his words.

“Really? You are a pretty, talented girl with a super nice personality and you didn’t think you were my type?”

“I mean, I always assumed you’d be more into the mermaid type”, at that he raised an eyebrow and let out a sigh with a single laugh

“You are mermaid enough for me y/n”, he said, cupping my face with his right hand, putting a hair strand behind my right ear, “you are better, even”

...

#kenji #kenji x reader #kenji camp cretaceous #Kenji Kon x reader #kenji kon #camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous fanfiction #jw cc #jurassic world camp cretaceous #self indulgent #self indulgent af

53 notes · View notes

intrepid-lens · 4 years

Text

*ignore my typos and spelling mistakes i have many disabilities

I have a torn emotion on the dichotomy of fashion on tiktok rn. On one hand I am glad there has been more maneuverability with fashion and gender, (esp moving away from the 2000′s binary, the tight tight shirts/pants for ‘women’ and baggy cloths for ‘men’). On the other I still struggle with the memories and experiences of fear when I started shopping in the men’s section, the continuing experiences of my transition, and trans identity with fashion movements. The comments men would make, their harmless ‘jokes’ to police me due to their own discomfort.

“You missed the girls section, it’s that way”.

“You have unusual taste.”

“That must be for your boyfriend.”

“You lost your way.”

“There are prettier ones [shirts] in the girls [women’s] section.”

“Some people might mistake you for a man with hair that short but I can tell with how pretty you are.”

“I know you’re a woman.” (like wtf??? why the need to say this???)

“Your too pretty to be a man.”

“I hope you’re not wearing those.”

“Your cloths are too baggy you should dress more for your size.”

“Stop hiding your body”.

“The women’s section is that way.”

^^^^^^this one in particular has been used as a threat many, many times.

Most of these are experiences are bc of my FTM existence. Female people get similar body comments being gender nonconforming or cis, this is the patriarchy after all. Trans women have other experiences as well that I cannot speak on myself. But it hits different to different identities, despite how it sucks for all.

For myself it was hard to not feel demonized for being trans. So many unnecessary and threatening comments. It’s like they knew I was scared and waved that power in my face. All I wanted was space to understand and not hate myself or feel monstrous because of my identity. I was scared of myself and what that meant for the rest of my life. Cis people don’t have the experience of having to wait for a clearing to shop for underwear. That constant fear of looking over your shoulder hoping to have enough time to figure out what would fit your hips, and if lucky, getting a choice in style before anyone showed up (not likely tbh). Learning how to hide/ play cool with your stuff without looking like you are a thief or security getting after you. I’ve been waved down before and had to lie to get out of it, make the cis security comfortable, placate. All for underwear.I could get out of it bc of my whiteness. After that I learned how to look like I was shopping for “my boyfriend” and not myself. Having to face the cashiers when buying it. The endless comments. This is different than shopping for pads or going through puberty. I’m female I know both types of internalized shame and let me tell you they are different.

So much pain and fear came with my identity and the cis men who thought they had every right to comment about me or my body never stops. The anxiety that went with such small encounters, the sheer mental labor. How I would cry in my car afterwards, shaking with panic. Leaving the underwear at the bottom of my drawer for months bc of that experience. Even cis women had the nerve to comment sometimes. The 2000′s were unbelievably transphobic.

While it is good to normalize the movement of fashion and cloths for all genders and bodies I want to have discussion/understanding about how gender is being used as fashion in contemporary times, what that looks like. Like tiktok. How ‘trendy’ it is to look ‘tomboy’ or ‘brah girl’ (I thought we moved past that in like 2009 and understand womanhood or being female isn’t just hyper-fem or hyper-masc but ok hello patriarchy once again).

We have seen ‘androgyny’ be played with before and we will again this is nothing new. The whiteness of it, the thinness, the male-centric notions of androgyny, the lot. However I see so much baggy, masc, boyishTM clothing for cis women tiktok that I get hurt at times. So many of these ‘brah girl’ aesthetics were cloths I was incessantly bullied out of wearing as a young teen/adult. The boy underwear looks I still tear up at. How these cis women use boy briefs/boxers as an aesthetic peeking out of their baggy pants. It gives me that trauma all over again. These ‘cute tomboy looks’ so much of thin-cis tiktok has just bc it’s trendy can bite me. I still carry those painful experiences with me forever. I still can’t go one day without people making comments on my appearance because of being trans and not having cloths that fit right. Cis people don’t know the lived experiences that come with being NB or trans. How difficult it was to find a basic pair of jeans. How difficult it still is (being female is just hard in general w/clothing no less transitioning those boundaries not made for your body type). Even a simple tee will sit differently depending on the men’s/women’s sections we all know this. Hiding my breasts was essential but it came with so much policing, esp from the women in my life. Cis women of tiktok think it’s cute to wear an oversize tee now.

This critique of fashion and gender can be challenging because of the patriarchy and how that functions to critique women on tiktok as I am rn. Esp with how LGBTQIA+ want to normalize the movement of gender as a construct and how fluid it is. Yes we need to keep breaking down gender and advocating for full access to all bodies (fat!!, bipoc, trans, NB, female lbr cloths industry sucks, disabled, ect). But please please please consider what cis have access to that people like myself had to painstakingly fight for and are still policed for.

Please know the history of the LGBTQIA+ trans lives, and what that has brought to your current every day. My gender is not a trend. You bought your aesthetic, I had to fight for basic cloths. It was cis people who hurt me and my community and who continue to use those identities as a trend. Please ask yourself if you are wearing these cloths/accessories bc you like them and want to be comfortable and confident, or because you secretly want the social mobility. Bc if it’s the later, stop. Re think your privileged and help my community, not just your social climb. Too many influencers take and take and take, and trans identity is one of many stolen identities they use for their ‘aesthetics’. Educate yourself. There is a difference between wearing cloths despite gender norms, and using them as clout.

#tiktok #transgender #nonbinary #gender #lgbtqia+#rant #frustration #needed to get that off my *hest #it's been really bothering me #I've been feeling the traumaTM again

205 notes · View notes

mrvltwimagines · 4 years

Text

The Secret

PETER PARKER X READER

SUMMARY: You didn’t even know how to process your own emotions over the situation, what would Peter think?

WARNINGS: None really, a lil self doubt. a bit of angst, but ends fluffy!

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

REQUEST PROMPT: Would you do an angsty one, where reader finds out she's pregnant, and is afraid that peter will break up with her, so a she starts to ghost him, or smth like that, but when peter finds out, he's super happy and they make up - I did age him a bit so the characters are graduated out of high school!

You and Peter took great precaution when it came to having sex. Like any other eighteen year olds, you both weren’t ready to be parents. Especially considering it’s almost a nightly occurrence that Peter puts his life on the line for the sake of helping innocent civilians.

You have never, and you never would ask Peter to give up his crime fighting. You saw the peace and joy it brought him, even when he ends up with black eyes or other bruises scattered across his body. He found any pain that was planted on him was worth saving someone else from death or serious trauma. You would never want to take that away from him. In fact, it’s that selflessness that made you fall in love with him.

Even with all he’s been through, he always comes home to your guys’ shared apartment with a small smile and a kiss. The two of you dated throughout all of high school, before he even turned into “spider-man”

You guys have been through so much more than anyone knows, and the instant you two graduated you were quick to find a nice apartment in the middle of New York City to start your adventure off by yourselves. You loved everything about being in a relationship with Peter. While you sometimes wished he was there more often to fall asleep together, or even that he was there more than fifty percent of the time to wake up to, there wasn’t anything substantial that would ever make you want to leave him.

That was until the positive sign showed up on the pregnancy test you had just taken.

Your mind wracked through any and all of the times you and Peter had sex, and you can’t think of any time where you had forgotten to take your birth control. You had a set schedule every day, and taking your prescribed pills at the same time is a constant that you haven’t forgotten ever.

Panic started to set in as you began to think about what this means. A literal human was going to be growing inside of you, and your boyfriend was a crime fighter that could die any day. You hated to think like that, but it was the truth. It was the icing on top that you both were so young. You were just about to start your first year of college, and Peter was about to start training with Tony at the Stark Tower. Things were falling together, just for this tiny plus sign to cause everything to fall apart.

What if he leaves you for this? You shook your head at the thought. You knew he wasn’t quite ready to have a kid, but he wasn’t heartless. But what if he gets angry at you? What if he asks you to get an abortion? You were stuck. You fully supported those who wanted to get abortions, not everyone is fit to be a mother, or has the right financial situation, or some people just don’t want to push a baby out of their vagina, but you’ve always dreamt of having your own kid. You’ve wanted to practice your own and better parenting techniques that you knew you naturally had from years of watching your parents do the wrong thing. You were conflicted between despising that you got pregnant, and feeling unbelievably grateful and happy that you were.

You looked at yourself in the mirror. You still held the pregnancy test in your hands as you stared at your own wide eyes, unable to stop yourself from glancing down at your stomach as if you would even be showing yet. You were snapped out of your thoughts when you heard the front door open and Peter’s signature greeting yelled out to you. You quickly threw the pregnancy test in your makeup bag, zipping it up, and heading out of the bathroom to the kitchen where Peter was pouring himself a glass of water.

When he saw you, a smile popped on his face, and for a split second your mind was at ease. You loved Peter, no doubt about that, but you couldn’t help but wonder if he’ll still love you after this. You can’t help but wonder if the longer you wait to tell him, the more angry and upset he’ll get with you.

“Hello, love. How was your day?” he asks as he walks towards you, giving you a quick kiss. You swayed a bit and licked your lips that had become dry by the question, telling him your day was fine and that you hadn’t done anything that crazy. You technically weren’t lying.

“How about you? Anything exciting? Are you going out tonight or are you staying home with me?” You ask, trying to turn the conversation away from yourself.

He went on for a bit, talking about what him and Stark had discussed about him starting to train with the Avengers. The thought of him becoming an even bigger, actual superhero freaked you out a bit. You knew the Avengers were constantly traveling, fighting larger scales of crime that terrorize huge cities versus the usual small crimes that Peter fights by himself locally. The fact that you were pregnant popped into your mind and you could feel yourself grow nauseous. He wouldn’t want this. Not when his life was picking up so much, there’s no way he would want a kid right now.

So you stayed quiet. Each day you woke up, you couldn’t tell whether you felt sick because of the pregnancy or because of this huge lie you were hiding from Peter, but either way, you hated this feeling.

On the fourth day of managing to keep conversation short without disturbing the peace between you and Peter, you had a doctors appointment to confirm whether you were actually pregnant. You didn’t doubt that you were, even though it was early on, you could feel it deep in your body that things were changing.

By the end of the appointment you felt numb. You were indeed pregnant, and hearing it come from a doctor with a “congratulations” after the announcement, you felt everything hit you. You were pregnant. At eighteen. You were pregnant and Peter didn’t know. You were pregnant and sad about it because you didn’t know where to go from here.

What do you do? Is it time to tell Peter? You cursed at yourself when you thought about leaving him just to spare him the pain and awkwardness of telling you that he wasn’t ready and that he didn’t want a kid. You didn’t realize you had started crying until you started to tune in on the looks people were giving you while you walked home. You probably looked crazy, but that was the least of your worries at the moment.

You made a plan in your head to try and stray away from Peter. You knew it would be hard considering you live together, but he was gone a lot of nights and you knew it would be easier to leave him if necessary if he’s gotten used to functioning without you in every situation.

You thought you had been discreet about slowly pushing yourself away from him. Days went on where you would still hold conversation with him, but didn’t feel it was necessary to be in the same room with him all the time anymore. You didn’t cuddle close to him when you felt him get into bed, and most of the time he didn’t bother to pull you any closer to him. You were breaking your own heart, but it was for the better.

“Alright, are you going to tell me whats going on with you?” the question threw you off as you set a plate with dinner on it in front of Peter before turning back to leave the room.

“What?” You knew exactly what he meant. If anything you felt a bit stupid trying to play it off.

“You’ve been distant. Did i do something to upset you? Because i promise i’m sorry for anything that might have. I’ve been wracking my brain but i can’t think of anything,” he frowned, gesturing with his hands indicating that he was lost in the entire situation.

You dragged your teeth against your lip, the entire conversation making you uncomfortable. You had spent days planning everything out in your head, and you’ve thought about how to answer questions just like these, but right now all you want to yell out is that you were pregnant. You didn’t want to hide it anymore, but your mouth wouldn’t physically move for you to say the words. You knew that settling with a shrug of your shoulders wouldn’t be a good enough answer for him, and by the deep sigh that he let out while dropping his head a little to look down at his feet, you could tell he didn’t like that. As quickly as he did that, he began to stand up and walk towards you. Your heart rate picked up, but was lessened at the feeling of his arms wrapping around you. You habitually laid your head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent and calming your nerves a bit.

“I have something big to tell you, but i don’t know how you’ll react,” you whispered out. His hands started to slowly rub along your back, and he pulled away a bit to look down at you. His eyes were soft, and his touch was even softer as he moved his hands to each of your arms to hold you steady.

“You know you can tell me anything,” he mumbled out while trying to keep eye contact with you. The second tears started to well up in your eyes, you were quick to avoid his eyes. You didn’t want to cry. You cursed yourself in your head. You had imagined the day you would announce your pregnancy to him so many times, but in those situations you were older and further in life and it would be a purely ecstatic moment. This was anything but that.

“I’m-” you paused, shaking your head a bit before looking back at him. You could tell he was growing frantic at seeing you stumble over your words by the crease in his forehead. You wanted to comfort him and tell him nothing was wrong, but until you got your words out and let him know, you couldn’t guarantee that nothing was actually wrong.

“I’m pregnant,” you squeaked out. You clamped your eyes shut for a split second before daring to look at his face. His hands tightened on your arms for a second before releasing you all together while he stood taller. His eyes grew wide and his mouth didn’t budge much, not giving you a definite answer on how he might be feeling. His hand moved up to his mouth, pinching his lip before nervously running it through his hair.

“And you’re positive?” he manages to ask. You felt your heart break a little at the question. You knew that you weren’t going to receive an extremely happy reaction, but you could feel both your self doubt and his doubt seeping into your body.

“Yeah, i went to the doctor about a week ago,” you mumbled out. This time you couldn’t stop the few tears that escaped from your eyes, turning your head to look anywhere but him while waiting for him to say something else.

“hey,” his voice was gentle, but you still couldn’t get yourself to look at him. He could still very easily say anything but what you want to hear. He could be thinking of his escape plan and still sound like the sweetest person to exist.

“I think it’s great, y/n!” he continues. Your eyes grew wide as you finally pried them from the wall and back towards him. A gleaming smile covered his face, his eyes lighting up just as much, “If i know you, i know why you waited to tell me this news, but i can reassure you that i’m so fucking happy.”

This time your tears fell, but a smile began to form on your own face. You felt like an entire persons body weight had been lifted from your body. His hands found your own and pulled you closer to him, placing your arms to wrap around his neck.

“I know we’re young and have so many things going on, but i can guarantee that we’ll be great parents. I can easily talk to Stark and he’ll be more lenient with me. I know you have college, but you can still do that while pregnant. Things will be fine, y/n. I need you to know that. I need you to know that i’m not going anywhere and that i’m ready to do this with you,” his words sent waves of comfort through your entire body, the stress of holding the secret in began to dissipate and excitement was starting to take over.

“You mean it?” you ask, still in disbelief that the secret was out and how confident and accepting Peter was being towards being told that he’s going to be a dad.

“Of course i mean it,” he chuckles. He leant down a bit to place a kiss on your lips, pulling you in even tighter, “We’re going to be parents, y/n! That’s crazy! But a good kind of crazy! You’re going to be such a good mom, and i’m going to be a dad!” he exclaims. A smile still covered his face and prompted your own to grow even wider.

“You’re going to be the best dad, Peter. i’m so sorry for doubting everything and hesitating to tell you. I was just scared, this is huge!”

“This is huge, but we’ll be fine! You have nothing to worry about anymore, i will be here with you for everything, alright? We’ll get through this and by the end of it we’ll have our own child. I love you,” he quips back. You nodded at his words, pulling him in for one last tight hug before separating yourself.

The secret was out, and your world didn’t implode. You felt guilty over keeping it to yourself for the few weeks that you did, but now you knew things were going to be just fine. You had the love of your life still by your side, and now you could enjoy your pregnancy knowing things would be alright. You felt like you could breathe again, and your mind could finally wander to the exciting things that being pregnant brought like putting together a nursery and shopping for the baby.

You couldn’t be more grateful that you ended up with someone like Peter. You knew the first day that you met him in freshman year that you two were meant to be, and this experience definitely solidified that belief.

#Peter parker x reader #peter parker x reader angst #peter parker x reader fluff #peter parker x you #peter parker x you angst #peter parker x you fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #spiderman imagine #marvel imagine #marvel angst

64 notes · View notes

masterhandss · 4 years

Text

Hamefura Idol AU!

No one on tumblr really knows it but... I love idols, like idol animes and games are my childhood and has eaten away at my very soul. I like drawing and imagining idol aus for pretty much any show I get into, and sadly hamefura isn’t gonna be an exception to that :P

(i’ve yet to draw for my dumb au so have a placeholder image from an upcoming anthology by @/relaxmakoto)

Instead of being isekai-ed to a bootleg PS4 otome game, our monkey girl gets reincarnated into “Fortune Lover: Cinderella Idol!”, an idol-production rhythm game (help me i’m bad a choosing names).

(Long post, I’m basically gonna retell the entire game in an idol setting lol. I only wanted to draw for this au, but thinking about plot and gameplay was too fun so I wanted to share it)

The Game

The original game’s story follows Maria Campbell, the main character of the game who applied for a job in Sorcier Productions after seeing a wanted ad online. By some luck, she gets hired as a temp-producer for the famous male idol group “Fortuna”. After a few hours of gameplay involving producing the male idols (Gerald, Keith, Alan and Nicol) through the game’s tutorial (introducing various aspects of the gameplay like “Choosing your Idol”, “Getting Relationship Points”, “Rhythm Game Concert Mode”, “Idol Produce Mode”, “TV Drama Mode” etc), the game reveals the plot twist of the game: Not just the male idols, but you get to also idol-produce yourself!

By the outcome of various events, Maria ends up performing in the stead of another idol during a mini concert that she escorts the boys with, and immediately stole the hearts of the audience by her beauty and hidden talents! M.C. is actually the first idol in the “Self-Produced Idol” project, one that aims to determine and bring out the full talents of an idol by exposing them to all the in outs of the idol world. Maria ends up becoming quite known very quickly, being rumored as a “Cinderella” of the idol world (In sports, the term Cinderella is used to refer to situations in which competitors achieve far greater success than would reasonably have been expected, rather than the typical meaning of Cinderella which means “damsel”). This rumor leads her to the anti-hero rivals for Maria (who ends up joining you in the game as idols you can produce), the perfect idol Mary Hunt and the “rarely appears publicly despite her talents” Sophia Ascart.

They start out as rivals for the game but ends up becoming friends with you and becoming produce-able idols like the 4 boys. You can even form a trio unit with the girls if you have enough relationship points (when your trio unit “Amour” is unlocked, you get more events, songs and outfits for you and the two girls!). But the true antagonist of the game is Katarina Claes, a boastful and prideful newbie idol who joined a few months before Maria, who earned a fan base thanks to her confidence and mature style. She doesn’t have the best voiced or is very skilled at dancing, but her confidence and ideals draws people to love her for her unique character. Katarina lacks self-awareness though, and thinks that she is the jack of all trades when it comes to being an idol, thus leading her to have an unbelievable amount of self confidence when it comes to her popularity and skills. She despises Maria Campbell because of how much the articles praise her for her charm and adorable singing, as she thinks that Maria is nothing more than a wannabe that doesn’t know the harsh reality of the idol world (the irony of that is an important aspect of the game’s story, since Katarina is overly reliant on her producer Anne, and Maria is the one who works both as an idol and as a producer).

Maria doesn’t really play much into the “self-insert” protagonist, more like an involved protagonist like Izumi from A3 that plays an important role into the story. The player does get to choose Maria’s (and everyone else’s) songs, schedules, outfits etc. by the guise that you are Maria, working as both an idol and as a producer.

The game does have a “relationship points” system, which means you can actually date one of the boys form Fortuna (secretly). Even if you don’t intentionally date anyone, the game already does play the “you, the main character, are so important and they wouldn’t know what to do if you weren’t here” agenda that most games have, so the game already makes all the love interests seem interested with you regardless of whether you actively target Gerald, Keith, Alan or Nicol.

Katarina’s Bad End

(Rather than the life threatening doom flags of FL) In the game, Katarina Claes constantly sabotages Maria’s events and performances, creating the conflict in the “story mode” and the “events” of the game. Near the end of the game, the character who has the highest relationship points with Maria will reveal Katarina’s awful treatment of Maria in public, ruining Katarina’s reputation and causing her to lose public opinion and fans

Sabotaging fellow idols is actually quite common in idol stories, but the extent that Katarina goes for her bullying is terrible, which shocks the public because that side of the idol world had never been put into the forefront before. While Katarina does have an arrogant and prideful personality, learning that she, who didn’t have the cleanest reputation in the first place, has been harassing the darling of the idol world, meant that shows, programs, radios and events didn’t hire or invite Katarina anymore in fear of loss in sales or public outrage, leading to her eventual downfall.

The final event of the game, the Idol Queen Tournament, Katarina performs despite her ruined reputation, and was met with almost no response from the audience. Realizing that her life as an entertainer is ruined, she quits and vanishes from the public eye.

It is said in the epilogue that she moved into the country side, by a small farming field, shunned by her parents and the public for her embarrassing behavior, in order to repent and look back on her actions, much to her anger and disapproval.

The degree of Katarina appearances and story events differ depending on which male idol love interest Maria has the highest points in. Katarina is most active if you are closer to Gerald, as she is madly inlove with him and only became an idol to be by his side (as Gerald won as the “Idol King” of that year, and Katarina aimed to be his “queen”). Katarina is also frequently present in Keith’s events and interactions, as she makes fun of the both of you for being a disgrace as idols. She also appears on Alan and Nicole, but not as much.

“Fortuna” and “Amour”

Fortuna, the most popular male idol group during that time, and Amour the all-new girls idol unit, are the “produced” characters of the game

(i’m bad at thinking at idol group names so those are placeholders lol)

Gerald Stuart is a child actor known for being a perfectionist. Even as a child, he had a good face, pose, fashion sense, perfect memory, amazing acting talent and charisma to carry himself infront of a crowd. He became an idol in hopes of escaping the endless sea of acting offers he gets, and to just starve off a bit of his boredom and free time. He ends up becoming interest in their new producer Maria, due to her unique circumstance and how hard working and earnest she is. Idols are known for being prohibited from dating, but in the Gerald Ending Epilogue, he proudly announces Maria as the woman of his affections and deeply apologizes to all his rabid fans and supporters, and hopes to gain their support for his feelings for her. The two are crowned the “Prince and Princess” of the idol world for that decade.

Keith Claes is an adopted son of the Claes Household. He was bullied by his sister and mother, making him feel alone and isolated as a child. In his teens, he became a handsome playboy that easily caught the hearts of a female crowd, leading him to be scouted by someone in Sorcier Productions. He accepted, wanting to use the love of a huge fanbase to drown himself with praise and adoration and to fill the hole in his heart from years of trauma and loneliness.

Keith attempted to flirt with his new young producer, but gets constantly rejected due to the idea that idols can’t date (and bc Maria is just so busy), making him crave Maria’s attention even more. He ends up respecting her diligence, intelligence, beauty and honesty, making him slowly fall inlove with her. In the Keith Ending Epilogue, Keith confesses to Maria and wants to date her, but knows that he can’t just let go of the fans that he gained from his playboy persona, so instead he gives her a promise ring, telling Maria that when their whole “idol” thing is over with and pass them, he hopes to be able to date her (and even marry her) for real one day without a fanbase that might attempt to seperate them.

Alan Stuart is the twin brother of Gerald, who is often compared to his twin brother due to his lack of acting and entertainment skills. Alan does however, have a deep love for music. He might not be as good with instruments as his brother, but unlike Gerald, he truly loves composing and performing music and finds solace in the melodies that he can convey. Alan ends up becoming an idol due to his love for music, with the desire to one day use the connections he can make as an idol to become a full-time composer and song writer (as well as to generally learn how to sing bc he secretly likes that too). Alan also wanted to be an idol as a way to compete with his brother in an area that he is more knowledgeable on.

Throughout Alan’s encounters with Maria, he ends up rejecting Maria’s friendship and praises due to his inferiority with his brother. Through time, Maria’s constant praises of Alan’s music and singing ends up resonating with him, leading up to her telling him that he shouldn’t compare himself to his twin brother and there are only things that he is good at, like his music. Maybe a line like “Not even Gerald can recreate the melodies that you write and compose, Alan! These scores are very Alan-like, and there’s nothing I’d rather listen to; nothing that warms my heart more. This is something only you can do, as Alan and no one else” does him in.

In the Alan Ending Epilogue, he admits that his heart isn’t ready for a relationship yet, but declares that he wants to be with Maria forever and that from the moment Maria started to make an impact in his life, she had become the “Aria” of his music, and that he wants her to know that he will always write his music with his love for her in mind. He wants to be able to convey his love for her through song one day, and he hopes that she will continue to love him until he finds the right words to sing.

Mary Hunt is the daughter to a famous businessman and politician, who has connections to the Stuart Family. She met Alan by accident, during the dinner party in her house for his father’s birthday. Mary was hiding in her beloved garden, and had encountered Alan who had done the same, before she could retreat to her safe haven. She was in awe as she watched Alan play and sing a song in his small guitar, almost thinking that the song was for her. They ended up singing in a duet, with Alan complimenting her voice, saying that she should develop it. Mary instantly fell inlove with Alan, and had trained herself in the same musical arts that Alan loved, especially the voiced that he had complimented, in order to one day become worthy of performing by his side. She had originally assumed that Alan wanted to perform for an opera or musical, but when she found out that Alan wanted to become an idol, she auditioned to Sorcier Pro. as fast as she could.

In Alan’s ending, Mary was very heartbroken to know that she could not be the one to stay by her beloved Alan’s side, but silently thanked Maria for breaking Alan free from the inner turmoils that Mary knew was an impossible job for her. Despite her feelings, she still wanted to sing by Maria’s side and congratulates the two with all of her heart.

Nicol Ascart is the son to the esteemed Ascart Family, owner of the Ascart Inc., one of the major sponsors for Sorcier Productions. Nicol has been a child model and was popular since childhood because of his beautiful face. He doesn’t talk much, so when someone has filmed him singing to himself in the hallways in highschool, it immediately went viral, causing various scouts to offer him a role as an idol. Nicol had only accepted his request due to the circumstances of his little sister, Sophia.

Sophia Ascart is born with unique features, leading to her being bullied and made fun of in public due to her stage appearance. Sophia has always loved idols, being envious of their ability to enchant a crowd and sing songs about their feelings out loud. She had a sweet voice and an adorable face, but her hair and eyes caused people to think of her as a freak. She wanted to become one, but knew it would impossible for her. Nicol decided to use his popularity to jump-start Sophia’s possible idol career, by trying to brainwash/persuade his fans to also love Sophia (when she first joined and started as an idol). It didn’t work on everyone, but he was determined to help his sister.

When Maria befriends and even starts a unit with Sophia, Nicol eventually fell for the woman who made both his and Sophia’s wish come true. There’s also the fact that as their producer, Maria became a true friend of Nicol’s, one that didn’t look at him with obsessive desire and only wanted nothing more than to be a friend and an ally.

In the Nicol Ending Epilogue, he quits being an idol due to his desire to eventually join his father in the family business, much to the disappointment of his fans, but promises to always watch Maria from the side lines. He would always send bouquets almost everyday, with small cards giving the declarations of love that he normally wouldn’t be able to vocalize. He thanks her for supporting both him and his little sister, and promises to jump to her side once she is done being an idol.

Bakarina

As usual, Katarina ends up remembering her future as an 8 year old kid, and plans to prepare for her future “banishment” and humiliation. She learns to farm in order to provide for herself once she gets shunned and retreats to the countryside, and (unknowingly) meets all the characters in the game and gains their good favor before the events of the game begins

I’ll write the rest of the plot involving reincarnated!Katarina next time lol :P

This au is obviously heavily influenced by a lot of the Idolmaster console and mobile games, Ensemble Stars, A3, Vocaloid Project Diva games, Aikatsu etc lol. Thanks to anyone who gets to read till the end. Feedback (and name suggestions) are very appreciated! Hamefura is still a small fandom so idk if i’d write for this au, but it’s a good enough excuse to draw the girls in cute idol clothes so i’ll take it XD)

144 notes · View notes

corseque · 4 years

Text

Solas meta cause I just read a shallow take I didn’t like—For someone who explained in great detail how he learned ALL of his information about the world and the various peoples in it through a literal magical funhouse dream mirror that reflected his own prejudices and amplified them, Solas is pretty damn good at questioning his assumptions and admitting he’s wrong or prejudiced, to a degree I would never in 1000 years expect from a Thandruil character type like him.

He had never met a human or a Qunari or talked to a dwarf or a non-magic elf in person before. Think about that. Not ever, not once. He’d watched everything through the Fade, where “it is all real” — whatever your perception is, that’s what you’ll see. So he watched, but of course his assumptions colored what he was seeing.

He asks for new information, constantly. And he completely changes his mind. He has the capability to go (in a very, very short amount of time) from thinking nobody is even real to thinking that everyone is. and he gets better at accepting his misconceptions the more time he spends awake, and the more time he actually spends around people who aren’t his race (again, he had not met humans or Qunari etc before, and genuinely came from a society where there’s only the People, so he has no in-person experience with this).

And he did all of this searching for new info while working (failing to work?) through his own massive trauma and survivor’s guilt and massive, unbelievable sadness and regret. All the different, new, changed people were all constant reminders that he could have just doubled-down in hatred toward because their reality is too painful to think about (and actually that’s what he does at low approval). So it’s amazing that he would be open at all to new info about them.

there were real, hard, magical limitations to his initial perception of what was going on—he could 1) watch the funhouse mirror of reality reflected in the Fade shaped by his own feelings (and the feelings of the people who had those memories) or he could 2) listen to reports from his awake and prejudiced agents. Those were his options. “I was not misinformed!” he protests irritatedly at one point. But he was misinformed.

So idk like... what was he supposed to do, just somehow know what Qunari were like? And not see them even a little as terrifying uncontrolled beasts, when they themselves think they are savage without the Qun? And when the memories of terrified humans, say, would also portray Qunari as terrifying brutes? He describes how hard it is to understand what is and isn’t real from the Fade. (He specifically talks about how hard it was to know anything at all about dwarves, who don’t dream). He hopes he knows shit, but he has no idea.

He’s obnoxious while working through his prejudices, but like... I mean, at least he does work through them? That’s his whole... thing, that’s all he does if you’re his friend. “You showed me I was wrong, again.” “I would treasure the chance to be wrong once again, my friend” (Meanwhile the other characters don’t work through their shit, but they’re given a pass cause idk)

The accepting and valuing and extremely open-minded way he is with spirits, that’s how I assume he would eventually end up with all people. He’s just too interested in learning and challenging his understanding that he wouldn’t stop until he figured it all out, and gathered all the wisdom he could about it. I think the tragedy of the story is that he can’t just stop and do that.

Anyway he feels real and I like the complexity going on here, and I also like stories about people slowly realizing something foundational in their life isn’t true, and coming to grips with that realization, and changing their minds and their life. Because being strong enough to do that is one of the things I hope to be able to do send tweet.

#Dragon Age #Inquisition spoilers #long post #Solas #anyone who responds to this with an essay is going to get blocked instantly #the bad take i read was like #‘solas is ableist because he won’t accept the veil’s changes to the physicality of the people of thedas’#and like... lmao #elves literally die of old age unnaturally now because of him #and feeling intense guilt and not being able to handle that heavy shit makes him ableist #lmao

247 notes · View notes

saharamae21 · 4 years

Text

Vapor (Part 9)

Hey guys! Sorry this took a bit, but I’ve been really questioning this series since the anon messages came through. It’s a bit short, but I’m going to try to update again before morning.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Mention of abduction and murder. Angst.

______________________________________

I sat on the ferry and thought about what waited for me at home. I thought about my parents and Sydney. I thought about the Pogues and the Kooks. I knew that there was a lot waiting for me at home. I felt the ocean mist me as we went back to the Outer Banks. I got off the ferry and felt the light rainfall against my skin. Everything was exactly the same as before I left, however, I was much different. The children and their families were engraved in the back of my head. I wanted to make the most of my life for them, but how could I? I was so disturbed by everything that had gone on.

I went back home and my dad greeted me at the door, but he wasn’t alone. Ward Cameron was on his way out as I walked up. He said hi to me as he passed and got into his car. Did he tell my dad that Sarah and I weren’t friends anymore? I turned my attention back to my dad at the door and the incredibly worried expression on his face. He pulled me into a hug and told me that he would’ve gone with me. He told me that nothing is more important than how I was feeling. I hugged him and reassured him that I would be fine. I lied to him. I didn’t want my family to know I was spiralling.

I ignored Sydney on my way up to my room and shut the door. I wanted to be alone for a little bit before I faced everything. I needed time to process everything. I sat on my bed and thought about everything that led up to where I am. I thought about becoming a Kook. I thought about the note I left JJ. I thought about the broken families in White Chapel. Everything has led me here. It’s led me to laying in this bed with the constant feeling of suffocation.

I heard my mom come home and decided I should probably greet her. I forced myself up and made my way down the steps. She pulled me into her arms and told me she loved me. She told me how lucky she was to have me in her life still. I could feel her tears seeping into my shirt. I knew that I should’ve felt something in that moment, but I didn’t. I blamed it on how emotionally exhausted I was.

My mom asked me to stay on the main level so she could check up on me while she made dinner. I knew she was worried so I didn’t argue and sat on the couch. I sat there and tried to process everything that’s happened in the past few days. I knew I couldn’t do this on my own, but with everything JJ was going through, how could I ask him for help?

Then a knock interrupted my thoughts. My mom asked me to grab the door, so I went and opened it up. Topper stood in front of me, looking upset. He asked me if I could talk. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe I should tell him about what's going on. I hated him right now, but I really needed someone. I told him that we couldn’t talk inside. I walked out on the step with him and felt the rain brush against me lightly. We were slightly protected by the door, but it wasn’t enough.

“Listen A,” he said. “I’m sorry about the kiss and everything afterwards. I’ve been a huge ass to you and I don’t want things to be weird between us.”

I listened to his sincere apology and even though I hated him right now, I needed someone. He told me how I looked stressed in White Chapel. He told me that he told Sarah the truth. He told me that Rafe was being an ass. He was trying really hard to regain my trust.

“What were you doing in White Chapel anyways? You said it was personal?” he said. I looked at him and tried to find the best way to tell him. I didn’t want to bombard him with my childhood trauma. I wanted to ease him into things.

“Did you hear that they found those missing kids?” I asked. He stared at me, nodding but not following. My voice shook as I continued to talk. “They would’ve been around our age now.” “Adelaide, you don’t need to continue if it’s hard for you,” he said, gently grabbing my arm. I looked at him and shook my head.

“W-when I was 8, I was taken by the man who killed those kids…” I said it, avoiding eye contact. “Lately, I’ve been dreaming. I’ve been having these dreams where I relive those moments and-”

He pulled me into his chest and hugged me. The sudden contact was just enough to trigger tears. I had done such a good job keeping them at bay, but now they flooded out of my eyes. He told me I didn’t have to tell him anymore. He told me that he didn’t know and that I should’ve told him sooner. I cried a little more before separating myself from him.

“I-I didn’t know how to tell you guys about it,” I said. “Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

He was nodding at me when I heard a voice through the rain. I turned to see JJ, drenched. He was covered in rain and he held a small bouquet in his hand. He looked hurt as he stared at me.

“You told him?” he asked me. He was staring at me like I had just betrayed him in every way possible. “You actually told him? Unbelievable.”

What was I supposed to say to that? He dropped the flowers into the puddle below him and turned his back on me. For some reason, seeing him walk away made me want to chase after him. I felt anger surge through me as I tried to figure out why he was upset. I walked out into the rain and grabbed his arm. “What’s your problem?” I yelled. He had no right to be mad at me right now. He did the exact same thing to me when I needed him most. He ripped his arm away from me as he turned to face me. I could see the anger in his eyes as he turned back to me. It was a look I knew all too well, but this was the first time it was directed at me.

“You told him our secret!” he yelled.

“No, JJ! I told him my secret! It’s not yours or ours! You weren’t taken, I was!” I yelled. He turned his back on me once again, walking away. I wouldn’t let him go without giving him a piece of my mind though. As I walked and yelled, I felt myself hating him for the first time in two years. I listened to him yell at me over his shoulder to stop blaming him. I felt my eyes leak tears as he yelled at me. Never once had I blamed JJ for what I went through. Never once had I told him it was his fault. He always had this twisted thought that I had though and now I remembered the last words he said before we stopped being friends.

“I’m just sick of being blamed for everything that goes wrong in your life.”

“I’m not going to stand here while you blame me for this! Go back to your country club life and your shitty friends and stay the hell away from me!” he yelled, turning around to look at me once more.

“Stop playing the victim here, JJ!” I yelled. “You act like I blame you for everything and that I’m the worst person you’ve ever met! If you’re going to act that way, I don’t know why you reentered my life!”

I felt his hand grab my arm and pulled me closer to him. His other hand placed itself firmly on my cheek. His lips crashed into mine and I could faintly taste the weed that lingered on his lips. My body felt alive by him. This is what I wanted my first kiss to be like, meaningful and passionate. For a moment I even forgot about our argument. I closed my eyes and our lips moved in sync, but it ended all too soon. He pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine.

“Because you were suffering,” he whispered. “You were suffering and I thought I could fix it, but I was wrong…”

I felt my heart break as he moved away from me. He looked at me sadly before making his final statement. I was too shocked to move or go after him, but his words would haunt me more than the nightmares I’ve been having.

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave you for good this time.”

__________________________________________

Tag List : @jjmaybangme @thebendslikebendover @justcallmesams @jellyfishbeansontoast @prejudic3 @jjtheangel @jiaraendgame @obxmxybxnk @waywardbarbie @talksoprettyjjx @bb-tings @agirlwholovescoffee-blog @thoughtsofthestars @outerbankslut @potterheadhollander @baby-pogue @lindzaylove @obxlife @queenofthebees003 @rockyyc77 @beth-winchester21 @outerbongs @sunwardsss @ilovejjmaybank @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @jjmaybankwildtimes

46 notes · View notes

softschofield · 5 years

Text

i’m so perpetually frustrated with the audience members who criticise 1917 for having “no backstory or development for the characters”

like, yes, it’s subtle. because they’re friends and friends don’t talk to each other like “oh, yes, remember all these details of my life i’m conveniently and clearly reiterating for an omniscient third party?” but fuck dude, if you pay attention and know basic facts about war or do your goddam research, there is SO MUCH DETAIL TO THEIR BACKSTORIES

like, just from one TINY DETAIL, you get so much: schofield’s wounded stripe on the left sleeve of his uniform. to get a wounded stripe in world war 1, you had to be officially listed in dispatches as being a CASUALTY, not just having been in a field hospital, meaning the wound was BAD. but, wait, what kind of wound could be so well-hidden and subtle? it could be a gunshot wound or trenchfoot, but there were also two categories that could earn a soldier the wounded stripe: gas, or shellshock. it’s therefore entirely possible that he was suffering from trauma rather than a physical wound before he met blake. given that 60,000 rounds of field artillery and 45,000 rounds of heavy artillery were fired in the first DAY of fighting, and one german described the experience of the shelling as “the earth shook, the sky seemed like a boiling cauldron [...] the ability to think logically, and the feeling of gravity, both seemed to have been removed”, shellshock is a very plausible diagnosis.

so, we know he fought in the somme, and we know which battle he fought, meaning he had been at the front for at the very LEAST 7 months. SEVEN MONTHS. that is a LONG time to be in the trenches, and it is a STAGGERING amount of time to have withstood the horror and still come out of it soft, gentle, and compassionate - think on THAT when y’all say schofield is a flat character. think about what kind of a person could kill and see people killed and live in the constant, crushing, claustrophobic terror and boredom and nothing of the trenches for most likely LONGER than that and stay kind and quiet. NEED i say any the fuck more, NEXT

just from that, we then know that blake did NOT fight in the somme, meaning he arrived at the front some time after november 1916. and, judging by his excited and fearful reaction to the front line trench before a predicted push, there’s the distinct possibility he had never seen a battle, meaning his arrival can be placed after the 18th of december 1916 and that he was still deeply innocent.

if he arrived in december and the film begins on the 6th of april, that ALSO means that they had known each other at the most for just over 3 months, very possibly less, and that they had formed a very close bond in that time.

which brings me to my next point: where are their other friends? all the other soldiers are shown to have close-knit groups, so where are theirs? why is it only them? why are they even friends in the first place? why is blake, a new recruit who had only just arrived, already the same rank as a veteran who had been there for very possibly up to or more than a year? why is a veteran hanging around with a chattery, bushy-tailed, never-seen-battle replacement? why isn’t he hanging out with his own cohort of soldiers who has been there the same amount of time as him and could much more easily relate to his trauma and exhaustion? WHY is a middle-class-sounding guy even hanging around with a lower-class farmboy in the first place?

the most plausible answer? all of schofield’s friends he went through training with are dead - probably in the somme - and he’s purposefully isolated himself to grieve with his survivor’s guilt. he was most likely wounded, lonely, and agonisingly depressed for months until a cheerful replacement arrived at the front and befriended him. and THAT’S where schofield’s fanatic devotion to him comes from, and THAT’S what “he saved my life” means, more than in the literal sense - he was lost, and broken, and numb, and blake saved him.

furthermore, because boy have i got more, blake’s backstory, in case someone out there has seen this film and still wants to hit me with that fucking “we know nothing about these characters”: we know he has an older brother, we know he has a female dog called myrtle, we know they live with their mum in a farm in the countryside with a cherry orchard, and we know his father isn’t in the picture and that he most likely hasn’t been for a long, long time, judging by blake’s lack of bitterness and daddy issues, his closeness with his mother, and the fact he isn’t in blake’s family photo. we know, from interviews, that he enlisted as soon as he came of age because his brother was an officer and he idolised him, and we know he was barely this side of 18.

another thing? the story about wilko. blake knows stories about men schofield has almost certainly known for far longer - but he didn’t interact and wasn’t told, and blake did, and he was more familiar with all of them and had stories to tell that schofield would have known if he’d been sitting in the same circle when the gossip was told. how’s THAT for subtle characterisation, chumps.

and if you just think about it, there’s so much depth to blake’s overly trusting nature - because he’s still naive, he’s still innocent, he’s still young. schofield tucks the things most special or necessary away in his inside pocket, where’s it most safe, because he’s learned lessons the hard way; blake puts them carelessly in his trouser pockets where they could fall out. schofield keeps his rifle with him even as he’s going to fetch water for the german pilot; blake discards his rifle and leaves himself vulnerable. if you just LOOK, it’s all there!

FURTHERMORE, we know schofield is in his early 20s and older than blake. we know he has a much more refined accent, and we know from interviews that he’s from cookham, berkshire. we know he has two daughters and a wife (or a sister and nieces, it’s open to interpretation, go to town), we know he suffers from shellshock, we know he most likely couldn’t face going home on his last leave and instead stayed in france and gave his medal away to a french captain, we know the subject of home is deeply triggering for him, we know he refuses to talk about his daughters, we know that his family haunts him as much as he longs for it, and we know that he didn’t receive any mail from his wife - interesting, considering blake received a letter just telling him his dog was having puppies.

and don’t even get me started on the “lack of character development”. watch me scream here about that.

also, some more backstory because now i’m on a fucking roll: lance corporals were typically the second-in-commands or heads of sections, of which there were 4 within each platoon, each comprising 12 soldiers, it's likely blake and schofield were in command of different sections in the same platoon. where does that come into play? well, scho seemed to slip very easily into a position of authority when the convoy got stuck in the mud, didn’t he? MOVING ON.

more? i have more. another little tidbit: lieutenant leslie asks schofield and blake if they are his relief, and then asks when the fuck they’re getting there when they say they aren’t. he and his men are exhausted and it was said by another soldier that “they had been blown to hell a few nights ago” - they’ve clearly been at the front a long time, which, again, is interesting, considering front line soldiers were typically rotated back into reserve after 8 days. clearly, it’s been a lot longer than that, meaning order and routine have completely broken down and a new type of despair, hopelessness, and mess has taken root. there, more backstory again.

“oh, it’s just a shitty saving private ryan” “oh, it’s definitely no all quiet on the western front”. FIRST OF ALL, it fucking IS all quiet on the western front, have you literally even read it? baumer goes to such lengths to hardly ever use the word enemy because he doesn’t view the soldiers in the other trenches as bad, just as other innocents swept up in a war that no one should be fighting. he spends a whole chapter sobbing over the only man he’s ever killed in close combat. it’s a hundred times slower than 1917 and it hasn’t even GOT a plot. what the FUCK are you talking about?

oh, and it’s just saving private ryan? show me WHERE. a bunch of soldiers have to go into enemy territory to rescue a soldier because all his brothers have been killed in action and his family wants him home. two soldiers are sent into enemy territory with a letter to stop an attack. i am LITERALLY struggling to think of any more similarities than that and even THOSE are fucking reaching.

also, it’s literally a different war. who are you and why are you saying these things to me i am BEGGING you to please use your fucking head for just a few seconds and actually THINK

“it was so convenient that the river just happened to take him to the devons” ??? “the river. it goes there” did you just entirely miss everything lauri told him? the river quite literally flows exactly past where he is supposed to go, that’s the entire POINT, that’s WHY he jumped into it, because he KNEW it would take him there, oh my GOD

“if the convoy was going exactly where he needed to go, why didn’t erinmore tell him to meet it?” i know it might be a shocking concept, but even a general may not have known exactly the route a convoy of trucks was going to take, especially in the confused wasteland the germans had left behind in their retreat. in fact, he might not have known about the convoy at all if they were coming from a different sector of the front - WHICH, guess what, THEY WERE. captain smith mentioned they crossed no man’s land just outside bapaume, which was much further south, in the old somme battlefields. scho and blake’s trench was somewhere near boyelles, 11km north of bapaume.

“it’s unbelievable that scho would just sit quietly and relax in the convoy truck, and then get out to give orders and take command, after what he’d just been through - and, plus, he would have gotten to écoust quicker if he’d just walked” there’s this thing called trauma. shock. dissociating. compartmentalisation. just shutting down in the face of too much grief when you don’t have the time nor capacity to let yourself feel it, acknowledge it, register it. in the script, scho is said to “almost disappear into the noise of the men.” and, honestly, the emotional illusion of regaining a scrap of control over a situation he was utterly out of control of would have been enough to prompt him to get out and give orders - but as it is that wasn’t the only thing driving him: he was desperate, and an NCO, and he needed to go. AND “he would have gotten there quicker if he’d walked”?? ???????? first of all, he didn’t know that? second of all, scho said it would take them nine hours AT THE MOST to get there and, given the fact they weren’t attacking until dawn and it was most likely morning when he and blake set off, he wasn’t in a TERRIBLE rush. THIRD of all, it was a direct order from a captain. FOURTH OF ALL, do you really think he felt like walking all that way when a truck was RIGHT THERE?

“there are too many coincidences” films are built on coincidences. they are conveniently put with a character who will end up being their soulmate at the end of it all. they conveniently uncover information that would take people in real life months to find. coincidences drive stories - one of the greatest tools of screenwriting? “don’t write what would happen, write what could happen.” what could happen is that scho finds a teenage girl and an orphaned baby sheltering in a ruined town - in a war. what could happen is that a convoy of trucks heading north towards the battle of arras logically uses the road running alongside a farmhouse. what could happen is that scho jumps into a river that he knows runs east. i just don’t understand what you’re trying to say

“oooohh for soldiers on a life-or-death mission to save one of their brothers, they sure do take their time to sight-see” they’ve seen absolutely fucking nothing but the walls of a trench and the reserve camp for months. also, it’s pretty much just common sense to clear out a building before you turn your back on it and keep walking. also, they had 8 hours, scho ended up getting there in under two hours, and blake is allowed to feel more than one emotion at a time and to be excited about exploring new places, ESPECIALLY when it’s almost certain that neither he nor schofield had ever even been out of england. war or not, the french countryside was still beautiful and blake is allowed to appreciate that. next question

“how was there a milk pail full of milk if there was no one around to milk the cow” german soldiers were stationed in the farmhouse before they got the order to move out. “they’re not long gone.” they left an hour before hand, someone probably milked the cow before they knew they were leaving. you don’t have to read the script to have a functioning braincell

“unbelievable that they weren’t killed by the tripwire explosion” it detonated in the tunnels, not in the bunker. they wanted to collapse the escape routes first and foremost. please, i am begging you, use your head

“why did they pull an enemy out of the plane” basic human decency. i cannot believe i have to explain this concept. soldiers in the first world war were especially conscious of the humanity of the men in the other trench. you say blake had no character and then get mad when he’s shown to be so kind and selfless that he’ll burn himself rescuing a german. i don’t know what you want from me, get out of my kitchen

“schofield was an idiot for stopping to interact with lauri and the baby” he was concussed. he knew there was somewhere he had to be but he didn’t remember what or where until he heard the church bells. also, for people who criticise the “lack of character development and backstory”, ya hate to see character building moments. it clearly wasn’t the first time he’s recited that poem to a baby. make the connection dipshits

“the germans shot like fucking stormtroopers, how did they not hit him?” point one: one of them was blind drunk. when muller is ranting while scho is strangling baumer, he says that maybe they should head back and that maybe they won’t realise they’ve been missing. the implication? either they’ve gone AWOL, or they’re stragglers from the retreat back to the new line. either way, at least one, and very possibly all of them are off their fucking faces, considering the one by the burning church tripped over his own goddamn feet chasing scho. point two: not in a thousand years would they have expected a lone english soldier to just pop up out of nowhere in ecoust. it was so unexpected that you really can’t blame them for being flustered and confused.

“how the FUCK did the letter survive the river in one piece?” he put it in his tin. there’s literally an entire 30 seconds of the convoy scene just devoted to showing scho tucking it in there. i don’t understand how i have to say this

“it’s too gruesome” aside from the hand in the corpse and the dead horses, where? where? also, it’s the first world war. i can’t believe what i’m hearing. who are you people

“it’s not exciting enough, it’s slow, it’s dull” IT’S SUPPOSED TO SHOW THE CONSEQUENCES AND AFTERMATH OF WAR INSTED OF THE SHALLOW EXCITEMENT OF IT YOU DUNCE

in conclusion, suck my ASS anyone who says they didn’t have backstory or development or that there are ~raging plot holes~. FUCK

anyone who doesn’t want the actual soft and only good person in the world William Schofield to live a happy life in peace just isn’t valid and that’s all i’ll ever say on the matter you fucking degenerate scum rotten tomato reviewers

#in which i just fucking lose my mind and go fucking apeshit #1917 #will schofield #william schofield #1917 movie #mine #also my mum pointed out that they both have scenes where they try to haul the other up and say 'we have to go we have to stand up'#and the other says 'just let me stand / just let me lie here'#fuck #there's SO MUCH THAT I'M STILL ONLY JUST SEEING AFTER 5 WATCHES

202 notes · View notes

psycho-slytherin · 4 years

Text

Strangers ch. 42

Yoongi confronts your attacker, and you awaken from one nightmare into another.

Pairing: Idol!Yoongi x Actress!Reader

Word count: 1.9k

Genre: fluff, angst, idfk

|mlist|

<–– Prev Next ––>

“What? Who the fuck are you? Get out of my house before I call the police!” The redhead reaches for the door in an attempt to close it, but Yoongi’s hold is too strong. He’s been waiting for this moment for two weeks– and he won’t let the opportunity slip away.

“You don’t know me, Seoyeon? And here I thought you were a fan.” With his free hand, Yoongi reaches up and pulls down his mask. Seoyeon’s sneer falls in an instant, replaced with the look of utter shock and adoration that Yoongi knows so well.

“Yoon-Suga? Wait, oh- oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my-” Seoyeon’s eyes roll up into her head and she keels over backwards, hitting the floor with a heavy thump.

Well, that was quick. Y/n fainted too, Yoongi remembers, when she first saw him. Looking at the fallen girl, part of Yoongi wants to feel sympathy for her. After all, she’s a fan.

But then he remembers Y/n shaking as she told Yoongi what the woman in front of him had done to her. He remembers every time he saw his friend flinch at a light breeze, the tremor in her voice when she explained that scar on her leg, and his own fear at finding Y/n’s bloody coat in the river.

All because of her. And so Yoongi lets himself into the house, quietly closing the door behind him as he waits for her to wake up.

It had taken D two weeks to find Kang Seoyeon’s name and address from nothing more than the photo Yoongi had gotten off of Lisa’s laptop. Only now, as he stares at the woman’s motionless frame, Yoongi wonders if she really could have been capable of hurting Y/n like that. She’s pretty, petite, and vaguely reminds Yoongi of a pixie.

Another minute passes before Seoyeon begins to shift groggily. “Wha…”

“I’m not helping you up,” Yoongi says shortly.

Seoyeon’s head snaps up, her piercing eyes capturing Yoongi’s own. “Suga. Suga! It really wasn’t a dream?” She scrambles to her feet, reaching forward, and Yoongi suddenly feels as though he’s about to be eaten alive.

“I knew it,” Seoyeon whispers reverently. “Cap said you’d come to me. We’re meant to be.”

Y/n’s right– she’s psycho.

Yoongi feels darkness pooling in his heart, and loathing bubbling to the surface. “I don’t care what you think is meant to be. But there’s someone I do care about– and you deserve to rot in prison for what you did to her.”

“I- what… oh!” Seoyeon lowers her arms, an eerie smile growing on her face, much too wide to seem genuine. “You mean Y/n?”

Yoongi growls– a low, animalistic rumble– as he takes a step closer. “You tried to kill her.”

“But- ah,” Seoyeon seems to wince at the cold fury in his voice. Good. “I did it to protect you! Y/n thinks you belong to her, but you don’t!” Faster than Yoongi can react, Seoyeon’s hands shoot out and grab Yoongi’s shoulders with a grip forceful enough to hurt, the smile never leaving her face. “You belong to me, to us, Suga! To ARMYs!”

Shit. She’s stronger than he expected. But perhaps…

“Don’t. Touch. Me.” Yoongi says, lacing a note of authority into his tone. Unbelievably, Seoyeon’s grip loosens, and Yoongi uses the opportunity to push her hands away from him.

I don’t belong to anyone,” Yoongi continues forcefully, watching Seoyeon seem to shrink before him. “And nothing gives you the right to hurt her!”

Seoyeon pauses, and the house is dead silent for an eternal minute. “Nothing?” She begins snickering– quietly at first, but soon enough she doubles over with laughter. “You really don’t know what’s going to happen to your pretty little girlfriend, do you?”

It’s as though Yoongi’s blood has turned to ice. “What?”

“Ooh, you don’t know! Well, Cap said not to say…” Seoyeon pretends to think.

Yoongi grinds his teeth together in frustration; he knows he’s being baited, but if Y/n’s in danger… “Tell me.”

Seoyeon’s eyes are blown out as she stares at Yoongi, licking her lips. “I’d consider it a favor. I’d be willing to do you a lot of favors, you know. I’m… very good at favors.”

Yoongi’s stomach lurches. He doesn’t want to know what Seoyeon would do to him. “Don’t give me more reasons to call the cops. I could have you arrested.”

Seoyeon laughs again. “For what?”

“Attempted murder isn’t enough?” Yoongi fires back. “You nearly killed Y/n, you bi-”

“There’s no evidence. No one saw anything– I’m untouchable.” Seoyeon advances menacingly. “But you know who isn’t? Y/n.”

Yoongi opens his mouth to– he’s not sure; Question? Yell? Threaten?– when his phone buzzes in his pocket. He winces, unwilling to tear his eyes from the predator before him. Still, it could be Y/n– and Yoongi’s been worrying over her condition. He places himself between Seoyeon and the door before answering his phone, eyes never leaving hers.

“Yes?”

“Yo, Gloss, that girl you got me tracking down with the shitty dye job?”

Oh, it’s just his old friend. “D, I’m busy, let me call you later.”

“Nah, man, you gotta hear this. You’re gonna like it.”

Seoyeon stands motionless before him. Yoongi’s time before his driver bursts in is almost up and he hasn’t gotten a confession. “Fine. What is it?”

“Remember that photo of you and your girl that went viral a while back?”

How could he forget? The infamous picture from that night got him and Y/n into the whole publicity mess and changed their relationship forever.

“I was tracking Seoyeon’s IP address and digging through her socials… dude, the original photo came from one of her accounts.”

Yoongi’s blood turns to ice as D continues: “A bunch of these ARMY girls have backup accounts, and this one’s hers. You’ve got a stalker, my man.”

Could it be true? Had Kang Seoyeon followed Yoongi to the hospital and found Y/n? Were her injuries and trauma his fault?

Yoongi swallows, feeling the wave of anxiety almost drown him before he pushes it away. Not now.

“Thanks for letting me know,” he manages.

“No worries. Yo, what’s wrong? Are you-” Beep. Yoongi hangs up and shoves the phone into his pocket. “Now, where were we? Oh, right. You were going to tell me everything you know about Y/n and anyone that could hurt her.”

Seoyeon laughs, a pitched, wild noise. “Excuse me? Who said I’d tell you anything?”

Yoongi barely has to lean forward until he’s so close that Seoyeon needs to tilt her head up to look at him. “I did.”

Yoongi can hear her breath catch, practically seeing the wheels turning in her head. If she’s truly as obsessive as he thinks she is…

After a pause, Seoyeon grins. “Fine. Cap’s gonna hate me, but fine. I’ll tell you everything, and just in case you think I’m bullshitting, I’ll show you I mean business… for a price.”

Yoongi blinks. Is she bluffing? Could Y/n really be in danger? Am I in danger too?

“So? What’ll it be?”

Y/n. It’s for Y/n. But is it worth it?

~~~

“Help! Help me!” A garbled, genderless voice yells.

“I’m trying!” You cry, running through the empty streets. The voice echoes around every corner. “Tell me where you are! I don’t know how to help you!”Suddenly you trip, falling hard. The pavement has turned into your bed, your legs tangled in the sheets.

“No one needs help from a traitor,” the same voice says from inside your head. “A liar.”

You struggle to rise, but your mattress seems to envelop you, pulling you in, and instead of soft sheets and down you’re surrounded by ice, unable to find purchase.

“I’m not a liar!” You scream, scrabbling for grip as the ice rises past your shoulders. Goosebumps erupt on your flesh and you begin shivering violently, the only movement the ice will allow. “T-t-tell me ho-w to f-find you!”

“Find me?” The ice finishes swallowing you whole, the gaping chasm closing above your head. You know you shouldn’t be able to breathe but your chest still rises and falls with the desperate action. “All you have to do… is look in a mirror.” The ice beneath your feet disappears and you’re dropped into the yawning darkness. You blink and the area is suddenly flooded with light. You’re in a jail cell, empty except for a large mirror. You feel something dry and sweet in your mouth, and when you glance at the mirror…

Lisa stares back at you, a pastry between her teeth. You spit it out, reaching forward. Lisa mirrors you, her hand outstretched.

“Where are you?” You murmur, watching as your words escape Lisa’s mouth. Suddenly her lips in the mirror curl into a smirk.

“I’m right in front of you. I always have been.”

“No!” Your eyes fly open, your heart thundering. You clutch at your chest, feeling as though the hand is holding your very being from falling to pieces. Fumbling for your phone, you wince at the bright screen before noticing the time. 4:00– well, it’s longer than you’ve managed to sleep all week. You groan at yet another nightmare, falling back onto your pillow with a sense of defeat. You hate this fear within you, but what can you do? Lisa’s gone and the redhead may have gotten to her. The detective told you not to worry, but how can you not worry? And now your mom is cutting you off, and you might have to drop out, and Lisa is gone, and it seems like the only constant left in your life is Yoongi.

Yoongi. You chuckle hollowly, falling back onto your pillow. He’s the least consistent person you know, but at least he’s always been there for you.

Ignoring your stomach’s rumbling protests, you close your eyes and turn over, praying sleep takes you again.

And take you it does– sweet, dreamless sleep captures you and when you blearily awake again it’s with sunlight streaming through your windows. It must be late in the morning already. Your phone buzzes obnoxiously with what sound like dozens of notifications.

Maybe I should just delete Twitter, you muse defeatedly as you flip over your phone, scrolling mindlessly through your mentions. Right away, you notice something strange:

@bangtan_thotyeondan: yo I hated on @yourname at first but tbh that was a brutal move by #SUGA :(

@armyteez23: I told @queerqueen this would happen! @yourname deserves better umu

@captainkookie21: I told you @BTS_twt @yourname

@dduddudude: Y’all feeling bad for @yourname when the bitch had it coming all along

@bangtan-news: (1/3)BREAKING! #SUGA announces the relationship with @yourname is OVER! A thread:

@bangtan-news: (2/3)In an exclusive interview, #SUGA discussed the break from @yourname and his new girlfriend, @seoyeonnie-loves-bts!

@bangtan-news: (3/3) @yourname has not released a statement on the situation. Stay tuned!

Your jaw drops. The relationship is over? New girlfriend? What... what happened? You click on the linked profile and check @seoyeonnie-loves-bts’s most recent post– it’s just a photo with a heart caption.

You suddenly feel sick. The- it- it’s…

“You.” You whisper, all blood draining from your face. “You. And…”

The photo is of a beautiful redheaded girl. Her. She’s beaming, fingers interlaced with those of a very familiar man.

You stare into Yoongi’s eyes in the photo, trying desperately to see something that isn’t there. You struggle for a second to form words, barely able to breathe. “You.”

106 notes · View notes

bangtanxm · 4 years

Text

Bookclub; March Highlight

This month’s theme was “The Darkness Within” asking for our bookclub members to find the most angstiest and darkest stories to recommend for this month. These are our our monthly fanfic recommendations from our bangtanxm; bookclub!

In the following you find a list of fics we recommend and reviewed this month. Please support these amazing authors! With every monthly recommendation, there is also a drabble game that everyone can participate in. You’ll find the masterlist at the end of the reviews. Happy Reading!

BOOKCLUB; recommendations

PS. As this theme involves a lot of triggering topics, we’d like to emphasize to thoroughly read the disclaimers on each story. Thank you.

TEMPTATION written by linzeigh

— Summary; Yoongi and Jimin are priests. Jin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are hungry. — Disclaimer; pwp, demons, nsfw-content

bookclub; review

“AAAAARRHHHHH. This was so incredible. I feel like no matter what I say, it will not do this masterpiece justice. It's so sinful and forbidden, but oh how it feels so right! The gradual revelation of Jimin and Yoongi’s mutual lust for each other was masterfully written. And fuck, I love the demon trio of Jin, JK and Tae. Their interactions and teasing brought a surprisingly bright mood to the fic, and I giggled several times at JK and Tae’s bickering. The concept of them feeding of sexual tension and being able to read Jimin and Yoongi’s mind was really interesting. The blasphemy was so shocking (and surprisingly intriguing), and I kept thinking damn how far is the author gonna take it, and oh lord very very far indeed. This is a must-read for anyone who likes explicit and dark fics!!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“This fic is so good. It is lengthy, for one, which is so admirable and amazing considering it’s largely smut. Smut can be so hard to write such big fics of and keep it fresh and interesting, but this author was able to do so. They were able to really take their time with each character and it felt fresh and interesting, without being slow or repetitive which is such an awesome accomplishment. I love the small details that were added in, the fact that they didn’t bleed, probably didn’t need to breathe, were super strong, etc. – it really added to the depth of the characters themselves, which is something that is often left out of smut fics. Also the entire subject/plot. Though blasphemous in some ways, it was handled really really well and I think kind of brushed on some very important topics (like being gay and religious). Overall just a stunning piece of fiction that I will be coming back to again and again for a reread.” [anon]

THE PERFECT ILLUSION written by @softjeon & @cassiavioletblue

— Summary; He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that. — Disclaimer; mentioning of abusive behavior

bookclub; review

“this is...just wow.... the story is so interesting and unique, the writing is beautiful, the characters are so on point. Ive only read the first chapter so far and i just know this is going to be one of my classics. The universe is so well constructed, the characters very nuanced in such a short amount of time... You can see the research that went into the geisha world, and it's paying off into what i feel is a masterpiece.” [anon]

"I already had an admiration and love for geisha culture and craft so seeing this story come out the first time just made me so excited!! Granted it has darker thematic tones to it, I loved how Jimins character was so well embodied that it stuck with me even after I read it. Also Jungkook as the maiko liSTEN I GREW SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM THROUGHOUT THE STORY. That build up of his mizuage made me want to take him away to somewhere and Namjoon and Yoongi were just the best, most complimentary characters to each of them. Jimin needed someone soft and kind like Namjoon while Jungkook needed someone sort of protective and a little cheeky like Yoongi. Their dynamics just worked so freaking well and you can always count on Jey and Cat to have just the right amount of angst mixed with fluff cause damn it HURT for a while reading this but the relief of it all was so welcoming. I can't rec this fic enough honestly, the characters, the settings in the teahouse are so beautiful and I LOVE authors who aren't scared to make a member into an antagonistic character cause it added so much flavour to the chemistry OOF just well done it was so nice reminiscing with this fic again!!!” [anon]

“I read The Perfect Illusion originally as it came out. It is just as enjoyable the second time through. It was such an interesting and stunning piece, I felt. The real shining star was the slow burn aspect of it, I think, even more so than the angst or abuse aspects. The slow sort of build of romance between Joon and Jimin was really beautiful, especially with the constant looming danger of what they were doing. The gravity of it was revealed in a really slow, measured manner that I think really helped the reader feel that sense of urgency as the fic went on and we – like Namjoon, learned more and more about the situation than we’d known before. The disgust of what was being done to Jimin and JK and the other dancers was enough to roll one’s stomach, but it was done in such a way that it worked well with the fic. It wasn’t there just for shock value; everything seemed to have a purpose and a point and it wove together in a really fitting and gorgeously heartbreaking and bittersweet tale overall.” [anon]

SING FOR ME written by Trilluvium

— Summary; When Jimin set out to find Earthshine in order to save his mother, he’d been ready to give up his life. Earthshine’s keeper, however, was interested in taking more from Jimin than just his life. — Disclaimer; non-con, tentacles, rape

bookclub; review

“Just wow. Okay, so this fic is so beautifully done. There is nonconsent, yes, it’s dark, yes, but it’s so much more than that. Particularly because of the ending, which is so bittersweet – Jimin’s choice. But my thinking is, vaguely hopeful? Maybe things will turn around? But that’s just me. Either way – the real shining star in this fic is the descriptive writing. The author does such a good job of writing in a very clear and detailed manner that a lot of folks just can’t accomplish without it dragging the fic down. It feels far heavier in description than dialogue, which I think fits it perfectly. The author was able to perfectly describe this absolutely beautiful fantasy realm in which the characters are, as well as the inhuman aspects of the characters. The description left me breathless – I wasn’t distracted, struggling to imagine what a, b, or c looked like – the author painted this amazing, film quality scene in my head. And because of that, I was able to focus fully on the dialogue and action of the characters.” [anon]

WHISPERING SHADOWS written by @jooniesmind

— Summary; It’s an already tough ability, that becomes borderline impossible, when you’re scared of ghosts. And Jimin was like that. — Disclaimer; angst, ghosts, mentioning of death

bookclub; review

“This is an excellent start to what could be a really sad, beautiful fic! The descriptions used are really stunning, painting a lovely picture (and a sad one). I’d love to see what would happen if JK came back, or even just following poor terrified-of-ghosts Jimin through his life, doing his job in whatever way he can manage. I’d love to learn more about how it works, what he does (and doesn’t do) and meet other ghosts he’s had to tangle with. And other whisperers! How it works and what makes them have the ability, etcetera. There’s such a whole rich world here that I think the author really began to develop in a beautiful way.” [anon]

“this story just hits you right in the feels. the author does a great job of putting so much emotion in a little one-shot that i’m just in awe at how they’ve done it. it is perfect!” [anon]

The Chaos Theory (Love Me Now) written by leanmeancuisine

— Summary; Jeon Jungkook, Prince of the South Korean Royal Pack and CEO of the largest conglomerate in the world, was thought to be following his father’s footsteps in becoming a Purebred Alpha. Oh, how wrong was that. Freshly presented at 18, Jungkook is discovered to be a Genus—a rare and one of a kind type of wolf that has more than one special gene. — Disclaimer; ABO Dynamics, mentioning of suicide, depression, kidnapping, poly-relationship

bookclub; review

“So I read this entire wip in one sitting. And then had to lay down and sleep on it before writing this. That’s how damn good this fic is. I was absolutely blown away. The style of writing is unbelievably well done. The author was able to really create this whole world and species, essentially, borrowing from some of the more traditional tropes but changing it into something very unique and creative. It feels so entirely fresh and interesting, weaving both very well handled traumas and angst in with softer, gentler bits that give the fic a level of depth and beauty that I haven’t seen in a very long time. All of the characters are so beautifully developed; I honestly can’t think of one I prefer more than the other of the ones that we have met so far. I’m so incredibly curious about the remaining members, as well as how Jin will blend with the rest of the group as things progress. I look forward to many updates!” [anon]

“ALRIGHT DAMN what a ride and im only prologue + 1st ch in! the introduction to jungkook's is honestly so good, and the author describes the scenes so perfectly its like we're there with jungkook, annoyed at the world. These two chapters definitely got my attention and i have a feeling ill be binging this in a near future. I can't wait to see how the author develop the other boys, how they'll introduce them... im getting excited now” [anon]

MONSTER UNDER THE BED written by Born2beSad

— Summary; Namjoon’s new apartment came with a little more than he was expecting… …luckily for him and his nighttime visitor, he’s into it. — Disclaimer; tentacles pwp, monsters,

bookclub; review

“This is such an interesting twist on the tentacle genre! I loved jimin and Joon's dynamic, although definitely wrong...but in a universe with monster under the beds i don't think that matters. Jimin as a character was weirdly endearing, and you can't help yourself from feeling sorry for him and his loneliness, and relieved he found Joon. And well, Joon is leaving his best life, so props to him for sticking around. The writing was impeccable, will definitely be going through the authors fics in a near future” [anon]

“I'm a lil bit of a newbie with tentacle porn reading wise and def haven't tried it writing wise but THIS WAS THE SHIIITTTT I LOVED IT SO MUCH (and lowkey highkey brought out a small tentacle porn interest of mine i didn't know i had oop) just the way Namjoon loved it and wanted it I could feel it in my freaking bones and maybe even related to him a littejnerighs i mean it was JIMIN HOW COULD YOU NOT and i loved the sprinkles of fluff in there it really brought a nice relief from the hot, heavy and body tingling smut embedded into it gdfoegg this was so good, such a hot way to depict a monster under the bed concept and the author did it so well also really inspired to dive into this territory of storytelling cause i'm 0.0 intrGUED” [anon]

“So, so good. Many of your general tentacle fics tie so deeply with nonconsent or dubious consent at best. Which is entirely fine, but sometimes it’s so nice to see something refreshing and new, and this fits the bill. While still brimming with great imagery and really well written smut, it also injects a supply of sweet fluff and near domesticity to the situation. Rather than being the ‘boy gets taken against his will by sex crazed monster’ – the relationship is symbiotic, allowing a give and take; even if it is largely physical in nature. I think that sheds such a fun light on the tentacle monster trope. This is one of those fics that I would really enjoy seeing another chapter or two, additional shenanigans that the two get up to with or without smut. Further, I love the descriptors used in the fic, I feel like it painted a really lovely visual that helped the reader really dive into it.” [anon]

“This fic....whew! It is really something! I don't read tentacle stuff and I'm not a fan of bottom!Namjoon but I wanted to read something different for this month. It's a great balance of fluff and smut with how the ending turns out; it's not rape or non-con either, since Namjoon is a huge monster lover lol I can just imagine him with a whole collection of monster dildos. The writing is wonderful too. The way the author set up the beginning without giving things away until maybe halfway through is really well done. Like, you already know Namjoon's going to consent but (at least for me) not in a way you expected. Jimin being a cute, friendly monster who isn't afraid to show his devilish side too <3 I seriously reccomend this to people who like tentacle porn. Maybe even people who don't read it often like me” [anon]

“This was such a surprisingly sweet and fluffy tentacle fic. I love the author's description of Jimin’s duality; the mixture between his sweet pretty features and his black demon tentacles, really feels so believe haha. The ending was so lovely and really put a smile on my face!” [@tinysweetscrown]

INTO THE WOODS written by bugarungus

— Summary; Seokjin wakes up to find he’s been kidnapped by some nature nymphs and their pet. — Disclaimer; tentacle pwp, fae & farieis, dubious consent

bookclub; review

“Oh my, I was completely immersed in this beautiful little universe, the author created. Everything about this fic is so lovely and stunning - from the descriptions of Jin’s everyday life before he meets the nymphs to the actual smut. I loved the bickering between Jimin, Tae and Yoongi, because it truly felt like a “brotherly” relationship. Also the fact that they each were a different “type” of nymph, and especially Tae’s protectiveness of LeeAnn, was so interesting and funny to read. This fic really strikes a perfect balance between a dirty smutty plot with dubious consent without it being too vulgar and uncomfortable to read!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“Wowowowow. Honestly this fic blew me away. There was so much going on but it was all so clear and well written, just… Perfection. The descriptions were so clean and clear and visually stimulating, it was easy to picture exactly what was happening. This is something so hard to do sometimes, especially in smut with more than two people, and this one was four and a plant! I wanted to know more about the nymphs, and their plant – the backstory bet would be so fascinating and amazing. There was so much subtle romance between the nymphs, and even being dubious consent, I feel like that oozed into Jin as well – opening up the idea that the future isn’t going to be questionable. Kind of a happy ending even with a smidge of the darker/dubious consent that laced through it. I think also, the relationship between the nymphs was just really fun. Despite the alternate universe, the characters felt really true to the actual group members. Their personalities matched up great and I didn’t find myself wondering if x would actually say that, do that, etcetera. It’s amazing when you can keep things true to ‘life’ but put them into this awesome fantasy world. Just so, so well done.” [anon]

NICE THINGS written by @kimlinebiased

— Summary; Namjoon is clumsy, even with others’ hearts. — Disclaimer; smut

bookclub; review

“This was such a sweet and wholesome fic! I especially enjoyed Namjoon's letter to Yoongi. I felt like the description of how Namjoon and Yoongi are different really fit so well with at least how I see them irl! Also the call back in the end to "this is why we can't have nice things" tied the whole fic so nicely together and left me all warm and fuzzy :)" [@tinysweetscrown]

“Nice things is such a sweet story, even with the angst thrown into it, you can feel the love yoongi and namjoon have for each other. It make the angst hurt even more, and wraps things up in cute ending. The smut if soft and just right for the story, and you just find yourself rooting for the characters to make it work, and also to pls wrap namjoon in bubble wrap...”[anon]

“A blend of angst and smut, it's really well done. I don't read a lot of canon/idol stuff nor do I write it much, but I decided I'd give it a read. Considering it's Dean writing, I wasn't disappointed haha Namjoon and Yoongi have a really nice relationship and Yoongi's reluctance to get back with Namjoon makes sense given how Namjoon broke his heart. The smut at the end is A+ too.” [anon]

DEVILS HAND by @softjeon & @cassiavioletblue

— Summary; There had been rumors, but in the end it was not really a secret that Namjoon loved delicate and beautiful things. Especially when it came down to his lovers and his castle. It was decorated with lot of flowing, long blue curtains, colorful paintings in every room, rows of marble columns leading along every aisle. There was a large garden surrounding the palace, which was by far Jungkook’s favorite place to be – next to the king’s bedroom. — Disclaimer; alcohol, abusive relationships, abusive behavior, (sexual) violence, major character death

bookclub; review

“This fic….. ruined me… When I first started reading it, I was immediately intrigued, because I had no idea where the fic was going! I was so captivated by it, and I HAD TO finish it, but holy fuck I needed like a good day to digest it. The universe the authors created was absolutely beautiful and so well-described that I feel like I, days later, still have a clear image in my head of what the scenes look like - as if I’d seen a movie. The ending was absolutely devastating and painful and awful (but like in a good way) and im so conflicted about the whole thing…………” [@tinysweetscrown]

“alright so another masterpiece by the incredible duo! The dynamic in this story are amazingly complex and layered, the characters interesting and their motives are well thought out.. You can't help but have your stomach tied in a knot after the first chapter, anticipation making you nervous. There's this general feeling that shit will hit the fan and it won't be pretty... beautifully written, bravo!” [anon]

“How. Dare. You. Omg, I just reread this fic and ughhhh the ending breaks my heart every time! I've never hated Namjoon in a fic before. Even when I've made him an asshole, I didn't hate him. But here...he's just such a dick and Jungkook is such a sweetheart looking to please the man he loves. It's such a sad story because Jungkook is a rabbit surrounded by vipers (Taehyung being the only good one imo). I definitely rec it to anyone who wants a good angsty read. I do say mind the triggers though, since it's not for everyone. The writing is beautiful, sets a good pace, and gives detail without going overboard. Jey and Cat really get you inside the character's feelings while delivering really steamy smut scenes.” [anon]

“The Devil’s Hand was such a sad, dark story for all involved. I don’t often read major character death because it makes me so sad, but I think it was really fitting for this fic. There was no winning for JK, and the end really solidified that lesson of not knowing what you have until it’s gone. The relationship between Taehyung and Jungkook was one of my favorite parts of the entire fic. They had such a well-developed friendship and I think that Tae really embodied the person that JK deserved, in a weird way. Though they were only friends, he was loving and trusting and would do anything for JK, even at the risk of his own life. The contrast between how Tae treated him versus Namjoon, even versus Hoseok – it was so stark and telling in terms of the fic and the deeper meanings. I think overall the fic was heart wrenching and so, so sad, but such an excellent piece that really cuts the reader to the bone. “ [anon]

The Drabble-Game; MASTERLIST

— prompt; “Sometimes the darkness is too big to keep inside.”

Thank you to everyone who participated! Stay tuned for the next theme of the month to participate!

THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED written by @chimknj

— summary; Jimin was in the room when Hoseok walked in. Only one of them would get out of it alive.

EAT THE RICH (BECAUSE THEY’RE ROTUND AND DELICIOUS) written by @kimlinebiased

— summary; Jungkook had a mission. That mission may involve killing people and burying the bodies. It’s going great… Until the bodies go missing.

— Join the Bookclub here! — official post — faq

#bangtanxm #bookclub*#bts #bangtan #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #march highlight*

27 notes · View notes

jammyjess · 5 years

Text

Hey friends!

I found King Falls AM at a time in my life where I felt scared, hopeless and alone. I didn’t want to be here at all, and I thought for the most part I’d never be happy again. I’m still most of those things, but every day in King Falls makes that a little easier to be okay with. I thought long and hard about what I could manage for this, but most of all, I just wanted to say thank you. So. Here goes.

Thank you for Sammy Stevens, who is my favourite kind of character. He’s sassy and pretty and humble and full of love.Thank you for his cynicism and snark, but also for his ability to push aside his own beliefs and ideas and wants when it matters. Also, for letting him Suplex Grisham, because that was pretty neat! Thank you for the way he relates to the people around him, but especially to Lily. For a character who makes mistakes and actually tries to learn from them - he doesn’t always get it right, but he tries, and that’s so important. He’s made me laugh, he’s made me cry, he’s made me want to scream. I adore his backstory, it means more to me than I can say, but also thank you for the way you handled the events around 75. It was so meaningful. I love him with everything I have, which is why it hurts me to thank you for his pain, which is so unbelievably relatable to my own. For my own hurt that comes out of his mouth. The kind of hurt that transcends circumstances. I was in a dark place before this show, and parts of me are still there, but watching Sammy grow, and change and heal has meant everything to me. It gives me hope for better days. For Sammy, and for me too. Thank you for giving him the courage to stick around, and for giving him hope. Thank you for Benny Arnold. Who I can’t write about coherently without bursting into tears. He’s messy and flawed and just absolutely gorgeous. Seeing him grow through the years has been an absolute joy, but most of all, I love his ability to remain untainted by the horrors he’s been through. He’s still got the same heart, and it’s the best heart there is. I love his passion, his hope, his resilience. His belief in everybody around him. He remains unapologetically himself through everything, and I adore him. He is The Good, and I’m so glad we have him. Noah brings such complexity to him too, and I can listen a thousand times to a single episode and continue to feel all the things.

Thank you for Emily. For making a strong, intelligent, badass women who’s also soft and desirable and loving. For letting her write her own story and for letting her be more than a prize to be won. She’s so good natured and considerate and thoughtful, and even in her worst moments she never loses that. Every moment she appears is wonderful and Jess KILLS IT every time! I’ve especially enjoyed phase two Emily, as her relationships with other characters become more integral to the story. Thank you for speaking out against the Frickards of the world through her, because it hurts and it’s hard but it’s so important. Using your audience for good means so much. Thank you for the thoughtfulness and care with which you consistently apply to sensitive subjects. For day-to-day happiness, for happy places and for months of quiet kindness without ever being asked.

Thank you for Jack Wright. For the reminder to choose love (even when it’s hard. Maybe especially when it’s hard.) For the reminder that we’re all worthy of love, in all its forms. The affirmation that nobody corners the market on sadness, but also that we don’t always have to go it alone. That grief is universal, and that’s not always a bad thing. For quiet moments of humanity in the midst of absolute tragedy. For vulnerability, for heartbreak and moving forward together. For forgiveness and acceptance, and humility.

Thank you for Dwayne Libbydale, who’s a special kind of chaos. I am again lost for words, but I love him, I love him, I love him.

Thank you for Pete Escobar Ed Edwards Yardboy Myers and his funyuns and disdain and snark (even if me saying I love him means he’ll never listen to this show again.) Thank you for PHENOMENAL journalist Lily Wright, who is an absolute delight! She feels like the personification of grief, loss and trauma, but at the same time so, so real. Her reluctant acceptance of King Falls as home is beautiful, and I hope she gets ALL THE HUGS really soon. She’s not afraid to speak her mind, even if it means alienating the people she loves. Her shaky vulnerability with Sammy, Ben and Emily is so good, and I’m so excited to see where the future of Lily Wright lays. King Falls Chronicles was some KILLER story telling, and Candace was the icing on the cake. The acting chemistry she has with everybody is absolutely on point. I’m so glad we get to keep Lily. That she’s found home. Thank you for #DeputyDead. His unwavering optimism and willingness to see the good in everything and everybody is absolutely wonderful.

Thank you for Debbie and RoboTim, who I still believe in, despite all evidence pointing to ‘don’t do that.’ Thank you for Maggie Masterson, an Actual Icon. And for our Man’s Man’s Man and his lil Kingsie Bab. For Regan who is a sweetheart and Chet who I hate to love.

Thank you for villains that fill me with white hot rage. Who’s actions are explained, but never excused. For Frickards and Gundersons and ShadowFUCKS and HFB3’s and Leland Hills and Ernies and Grishams. They’re different levels of despicable, and I adore hate them all.

Thank you for ridiculous caricatures ; the Gwendolyns and the Cynthias and the Jacob Williams. Thank you for SPORTSBALL (CHOP. DAT. WOOD.) and WALL CRABS and GARBAGE BEARS and DANGER NOODLES and every other ridiculous Benism.

Thank you for Teareal and serendipity and redrum roses and for the inability to see the word ‘ghost’ and not correcting it to APPARITION. Thank you for Dan & Larry and boy band battles and Doyle’s Conspiracy Cavern and Devon Hamptonframptonshire. For Golden Owl, Finn and Gator Jack and Alvin and every other ridiculously loveable character you’ve created. Some of them barely last longer than an episode, but their chaos will fuel me for a lifetime.

Thank you for Mary Jensen, who is the mom I wish I had. All moms are champs, but Mary is perfect. Thank you for Betty and Nancy and Loretta and Marigold. All who I expect deserve the praise they’re given.

Thank you for Herschel and Cecil, who are cranky old bastards and who probably shouldn’t fit together, but they do so effortlessly. The care and compassion they have for each other is inspiring, and I too hope to have a friend like that someday. Trent is wickedly skilled, and I’m sure he hears it so often but!!!!

Thank you for BE WELL BUDDIES and silly puns in the titles, and short jokes and RoboTim mixups and Science Institute break-ins with vigilante superheroes and mysterious callers. Thank you for love through overnight oats and moustache talk and non-binary pals. For a willingness to grow and change and learn and laugh. For the electrolocaust and my favourite threesome and for sammiversarys. For Ben posting Sammy’s bail, and heart-to-hearts in jail cells. For stupid bets and bensplosions and the fucking kickball story. For creepy dreams and technical terms, for badly timed BEEPS for awkward flirting and on-air confessions. For idiots who can’t keep secrets, let alone not talk about them on air for more than five minutes. For missing hikers and weird shadow tornados and notebooks and shooting down UFOs and death by damnation. For the SECOND BEST small town in American Celebration, for Christmas Gifts for Ben’s Mom and Jupiter Jaundice. For Ben’s monopoly tactics and Sammy’s audible eye rolls, for prophecies and ‘legend-has-it’s and for love and love and love.

Thank you for the mysteries, and for the constant need for MORE. You do cliffhangers so wonderfully, and I feel like I’ve never anticipated anything so keenly in my life. Tim Jensen, The Dark, Merv, Death by Damnation, The Rainbow Lights, The Zombies.

Thank you for Cameron Chambers??? How does he do it?? I have no idea, but I hope he keeps doing it. Especially all them Christmas BOPS. Legendary. Jazz-Hands worthy!

Thank you for making Zombies the F- plot.

Thank you for the Eagle Screech in the DALE’S DOLLAR TREE ad. And all the other ads too, I guess. I don’t understand The Fucky List, but thanks for that too! Thank you for JACK IN THE BOX JESUS which has caused my internet to constantly recommend me eat at Jack in the Box, despite the closest one being literal continents away.

Thank you for continuing to choose this. For being open to sharing so much of yourselves with us. Thank you for fan interactions and live listens, Q&As and twitter replies and twitch streams and retweets and Beyond the Falls. Thank you for the love and care you show us all, which above all feels genuine.

Thank you for being the catalyst for a community where I finally feel like I belong. Like I’m important. Like I matter. Thank you for being the reason for hours and days and weeks and months of in-jokes and teasing and theories and head canons and screaming and food talk and love. For so much kindness. And acceptance. For a space to be myself without fear. For people I feel like I’ve known lifetimes, and for whom I hope I can love for lifetimes more. For people to cheer on, and cry with, and poke fun at. For stupid nickname changes, and memes and words in reactions. For making me feel like i’m part of something much bigger than me. For a place to be passionate without judgement. For a place to just be. For friends. For family.

Thank you for the push I’ve needed to create again. And for all the others you’ve inspired too.

Every moment inside King Falls have been an absolute blessing, but the impact it’s had on my life outside of it is absolutely everything.

Congratulations on (almost) 100 episodes. What an adventure it’s been. I’m so excited for everything the future of King Falls holds, but most of all; Thank you for making this fuckin’ mean something.

#contest entry #100 eps!!#kfam100 #king falls am #kfam #thanks #kfam discord #ramble #unashamed fangirling #long post #text #words

30 notes · View notes

illegiblewords · 5 years

Text

5 Questions for Writers!

5 Questions for Writers

I got tagged by @kunstpause, it looked like fun so figured I’d go for it! THANKS TO KUNST!

Tagging @wouldyouliketoseemymask, @nilim, @azwoodbomb, @peregrineroad, @frostmantle, @autumnslance, @strangefellows, @redbud-tree, @nozomikei, and @rivenroad. No obligation to anyone but full permission to steal granted to anyone else who might like to. I’ll literally be delighted if you pick this up spontaneously and blame me as an excuse lmao.

1. Do you have a favorite character to write? Who and why?

2. Do you have a favorite trope to write? Or one you want to write?

3. Share your favorite description you’ve written?

4. Share your favorite dialogue you’ve written?

5. Scene you haven’t written, but want to?

I made long answers so have a cut!

1. Do you have a favorite character to write? Who and why?

It depends heavily on what fandom and where I am mentally, but I’ve figured out I tend to love writing angsty lameass dudes with blonde hair who are prone to doing really silly things despite taking themselves entirely too seriously. Honestly, I have a pretty huge track record at this point. Harvey Dent, Vexen, Dmitri, Lahabrea, probably more besides. Every one of them fits the right balance of lameass to angst. I like seeing them grow and find fulfillment as people and they are very very cute while still having an edge of badassery and cleverness. Also they’re funny.

Lahabrea is my favorite at the moment, and him reaching that position is an accomplishment considering how stiff the competition is in FFXIV. Loser tricked his way to the top while I was busy laughing at him.

2. Do you have a favorite trope to write? Or one you want to write?

I really, really, really love redemption arcs and people recovering from fucked up experiences. Latter case especially I love seeing characters in those situations successfully connect to the people and world around them, especially if they get to grow together with a partner. I also LOVE “hero saves the villain and villain takes it to heart”.

(You may be sensing a theme here haha.)

There are a few reason these concepts resonate with me, the first being I think they’re really hopeful, inspiring, and something I always wanted to see growing up but rarely did.

People fuck up in life. People get hurt in horrible ways that bring out the worst in them. Sometimes when that happens they dig themselves deeper and deeper into ugliness. The more a person’s bad side comes out, the more hopeless it can feel. And for mental illness especially I’ve found this can be a major issue.

Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has flaws, but I think there’s something really significant in seeing someone who has hit rock bottom, who can no longer imagine a way out, get offered a hand for support and take it. While recovery and redemption (not synonymous of course) ultimately need to be carried by the individual struggling, I really can’t understate how important it is to know in those situations that you’re not alone and someone believes in you.

I think a big part of why this theme is important to me is because mental illness, both genetic and due to trauma, is something unbelievably difficult and painful not only for the sufferer but those around them. The most mentally ill characters in fiction tend to be villains, and are disproportionately more likely to be suffering severe trauma. It frustrated me since I was pretty young to see over and over again cases where a mess could have been avoided if there was any support system in place.

Seeing compassion and connection given that kind of power means a lot to me, as does recognizing that villains are people before they are villains. It’s also very reassuring in the sense of “If this person fucked up that badly but still tried to better themself, I can too. And odds are I’m also worthy of love and compassion, even when my issues make things harder for others. I just have to keep working to improve.”

3. Share your favorite description you’ve written?

Eff.

Straight up I think I’ve written too much to have just one favorite description. It’s been a lot of years and I have hundreds of fics and I’m lame. So I’m going to put a few of my favs.

Anytime there’s a gap in block quotes it’s a different section within the same fic.

22 - A Batman Fanfic

He trembles beneath the weight of their expectations but his smile never fades flashes before cameras microphones under his nose crowds screaming questions bleeding together he answers like clockwork the District Attorney who must bring justice to us all paying tribute to false idols with golden hair and silver tongues we the people bow down in worship to this guardian of the law with words and deeds I believe in Harvey Dent so he swears in hallowed halls to bring prosperity to smite the wicked to damn the criminal with authority invested in him by Gotham’s dutiful children and himself.

***

On the precipice of victory we stand united our voice raised like a torch like a spear like a golden arrow against the beast of Lerna we are gods and monsters we are so much more than good and evil we are order in the court cauterizing corruption our head held high and mighty manifest in Harvey of the doubletalk Harvey who writes himself into the fabric of Gotham’s history Harvey who will not bend before the Roman we command you the unworthy we condemn you the unrighteous we will not be merciful and you will fall before our eyes.

***

I am Dionysus divided at the altar of Tyche O Fortuna O Fortuna give me guidance in the light of the moon you dance sacred silver dollar I see and obey the wax and wane your whim Wheel of Fortune the card I am dealt your servant your slave venerated puppet of flesh blessed is your wisdom bestowed upon I am your disciple wine-mad twisted chanting your word becomes law holy splendor against gavels desecrating your name defiant in denial extend your will through me and we shall strike the innocent enlighten the ignorant or spare them all for now.

Doppelganger - A Spider-Man Fanfic

She asks him to tell the story of himself, and like Scheherazade he begins anew each day.

As with many other things, this comparison is imperfect. The Ravencroft Institute is hardly a palace and neither of them could pass for royalty. She sits in a chair across from him over a carpet the color of sawdust. Her walls are lined with insects pinned on display. Not many butterflies, quite a few beetles. On a bookshelf Dmitri sees The Metamorphosis nestled between non-fiction texts more relevant to her profession. He thinks maybe it's an inside joke she has with herself, but doesn't say so.

He's received an invitation to call her Ashley instead of Dr. Kafka and doesn't know whether to accept. It might be to make him more comfortable. It might be something else. In her late fifties Kafka is built from delicate features, and he suspects the lines around her eyes mean they crinkle when she smiles. Short black hair, beige suit, only jewelry a pair of diamond stud earrings. Dmitri thinks she looks like a mother, but not his.

Her weight sinks into leather, darker than the floor. The couch he rests on matches. He finds himself leaning forward with one elbow propped on his thigh, the other locked in a cast suspended by his neck. There is something reassuringly empty in the gray fabric of his uniform, cheap and utilitarian and harmless. Dmitri’s wrists are thin, but then he's lost a lot of weight recently. He probably wouldn't be able to run as fast as he used to, but then circumstances would be the same anywhere he went so that really doesn't matter. His espionage days are over. His free arm is shedding in flakes but at least his skin is dry. Clean.

Dmitri no longer looks like anyone, unrecognizable to himself. A face without much in the way of edges, short nose. Weak chin. Mismatched eyes that shift between green and blue and brown and every other natural hue as moments pass into minutes pass into hours. Dark blotches interrupt his forehead and chin. They will peel in new patterns across a span of days. For the most part though, he is pale enough to trace veins where his body seems on the brink of spilling out.

It's been a while since he shaved his head and the hair that grows back is almost foreign. An unruly mess of black, blond, brunet, and red—strands as unlike in texture as anything else. The mask that made him Chameleon was white plastic embedded with hardware. Left deformed after trying to resemble others in flesh too many times, it allowed him to duplicate any face, any body he could remember. More than holograms, the most complete sensory illusions technology could perform.

Without it, Dmitri feels stripped.

When Kafka looks at him she’s receiving constant signals and missing none of them. The moments he needs to turn away, flat monosyllabic turns of phrase he chooses or resorts to or blankly accepts as his own. It doesn’t have to be this way. It isn’t comfortable and he doesn’t even trust it’s not calculated. But she’s going to notice no matter what he does at this point, and lying about it doesn’t do anyone much good. They both know why he’s here.

***

“We were poor. We worked hard to keep ourselves fed and clothed and less than an embarrassment. I probably could have worked harder. Mother,” he begins before stumbling over himself.

The story he’s telling isn’t hers. Whatever else she was, Sonya Smerdyakov wasn’t Mrs. Bates. He remembers her voice as the beginning of an echo, forever following someone else’s lead.

And so he followed her.

She was bright like a light going out. She was gentle without being kind. Her fingers were short and delicate and she touched him as little as possible. He found her attention in the way she avoided his name.

***

In the privacy of his room, Dmitri began talking to himself.

Celebrities. Teachers. Children. The flat, steady rhythm of his father’s voice. The words and intonations favored by mother. Sergei’s laugh. He lost himself in a fantasy of conversations, strode through space to mimic confidence he didn’t feel, flashed teeth in front of his mirror like other people.

Once, Dmitri raised his voice. And when his older brother came, eyebrows knitting in confusion, he found himself full of stammered explanations, hands fumbling at his elbows, stumbling over his tongue to make sense of it.

Just making stories for himself. A game with no ending. That was all.

***

He would have died in that town under the eyes of speechless parents. Dmitri remembers the confusion that took his peers when he found a job for people who spoke for themselves. They thought he might be growing up.

He could lie. And when he began he understood it would always be a game with no ending.

Dmitri lost himself in a fantasy of conversations with real people and a voice that didn’t belong to him.

They asked a stranger to sign their yearbooks without even realizing it.

And then he was eighteen, and he left to continue elsewhere.

He didn’t announce his departure.

From Umbra - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic

It was probably a dream.

Lukewarm water crept down his throat, nearly making him choke. A skin pressed to his lips, insistent. He coughed, and for the first time there was moisture enough for resistance.

The face that obscured his vision was shrouded in white cloth. Cenric found he couldn’t focus on it. Mismatched eyes, one light and the other dark. Impossible to say if blindness caused the inconsistency.

A string of shells dangled from the figure’s neck, rattling gently. The skin pulled back for a moment. Careful. Patient.

It returned only once he'd grown quiet. Cenric drank for as long as he could. Impossibly, a great deal remained by the time he relinquished his hold.

There wasn't enough of him present to say thank you. Cenric barely registered being dragged, being carried onto a cart. Awareness was altogether gone by the time they started to move.

***

…to the blessed traders who enrich our lives we’re bound to pay with our lives in turn aether born fire-walker your will sees us to rest we entrust ourselves to your sight forged of oschon for peace and prosperity and an ending you do not weep for father azeyma lives in the earth with you her fan brings no breeze the air is hot and thick and breathless your domain a silent place that does not stir have you forgotten the sound of your own voice have you known what it is to live and fail have you been alone do you know what it is to die how can a god pass judgment without being judged nald’thal lord of departures of flame and sand whose coin purse overflows who knows not what it means to starve what it means to spoil the legacy of one who loved you nald’thal who holds shells and souls and precious stones as if their worth were equal nald’thal who cannot know mercy without knowing pain who are you to weigh mortal affairs?

***

In darkness he unwinds the black bandana, steps first from his slops and then his kurta. Yuyudana has provided robes, which rest neatly on a small rock nearby. It crosses Cenric’s mind that the bones of his knees, his hips, his wrists, even his face have all started to protrude strangely. He looks less hyuran than before, maybe less than he ever has. Closer to something priests would exorcise than anyone deserving aid.

He wonders if this idea has occurred to them.

The water, when he advances, is cold. Goosebumps raise across his skin as slowly, gingerly, he wades in to his waist.

Cenric ducks under.

His hair is a long and tangled wreck. Being wet only disguises this slightly. It drifts past his neck, comes to float near the surface. Cenric holds himself in silence, eyes open, watching the silver scatter of light over stones and plants and fish. He remains for as long as he can bear.

His vision stings afterward. Gasping, he can’t tell if the cause is exposure or something else. For a time he simply waits, breathing hard through his nose, hunched so that his lips are partially submerged.

He thinks of nothing, pretends that this time instead of no future he has no past.

Only one moon remains. Maybe the sky aches for losing Dalamud, but better that than the blow which scarred Eorzea.

Stalemate - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic

He is presented with impressions of a horse, gaunt and fetid and decayed. Spreading ruin wheresoever it goes. Occasionally it sloughs off portions of its own flesh, which collect flies and blacken any land that surrounds. On its back rests a world, and alongside it does the herd struggle under their own burdens. But even beasts of such endurance have limits. Theirs are reached. When the rotten steed lags, its companions cannot afford to falter. Cannot turn. Without its ability to bear loads, this aberration has no place. Falling is inevitable.

Yet a heart still beats and lungs yet swell.

The Ascian shivers in his grasp, but does not attempt escape.

Here, something festers. Something bleeds. An old wound exacerbated over time.

Fevered, coated in a film of self-disgust, the core of Lahabrea convulses.

Don’t…

Don’t leave me like this…

***

Teeth and tongue. Lingering, wet, disembodied. Another finds his hip. Another his thigh, slipping beneath what clothes remain.

And another.

Warm, human, seeking. The Warrior tightens his hold, uses the moan crawling from his own chest as incentive. Barred by naught but fabric, driving close as he can manage. Lahabrea makes a strangled sound, his gasp crushed empty. A new mouth finds the dark knight’s ear in response.

These are parts of him no one dares touch, no one dares acknowledge. Slick now, attended with something like reverence. Supplication.

He resolves to fuck the Ascian senseless for this, presses his intent deep into Lahabrea’s aether. He is going to steal all his fancy words away. Make him squirm.

“I… I…” Tight, airless, like a plucked string. The Warrior feels Lahabrea’s voice reverberate against the roof of his mouth.

The feeling is difficult to describe. Cracked ice. A fraying rope. Such is Lahabrea's response, fumbling and disoriented as it is.

The Warrior lets go.

4. Share your favorite dialogue you’ve written?

Just imagine me weeping over here lmao. Same deal as before, I’VE DONE TOO MUCH SHIT.

Spare Change - A Batman Fanfic

"Stop," he gasps, "I wouldn’t—"

"You would Harvey. You did. It’s what makes you such a damn good instrument. You had to test yourself, prove that you’re not a real person.” He can feel fingers grinding against bone. His knees bend. Harvey kneels, shuddering, gazing up into the destruction of his own visage. Two-Face meets his eyes, blue on blue. “People are weak. People are ruled by what they want and don’t want. You’re capable of anything if the wind blows just right. You can’t even stop yourself.”

"I wouldn’t," he repeats, numbly.

"Did you," demands Two-Face, forcing him down further, "or did you not flip for their lives, Harvey Dent?"

"We…We aren’t the same people anymore."

"Of COURSE we’re the same people!" Another shove and he’s on the ground, Two-Face sitting on his chest, teeth bared, coin clenched tight between them. "Do you really think you can close your eyes and pretend you aren’t capable of these things? They’re alive," and there is something hideous in his expression, something certain, "because they were lucky. No other reason.”

"The coin is gone! Even if I wanted to listen to it—I can’t!”

"If you’re so sure," says Two-Face, "then how about you improvise?”

And with one motion the silver dollar is under his tongue, forced back so hard he feels himself gag and begin to choke before his eyes open.

The Inquisitor’s Letters - A Dragon Age: Inquisition Fanfic

To His Worship Inquisitor Mahanon Lavellan of Skyhold, My name is Isell from Amaranthine and I’m seven. My mum is helping but says I can send you all by myself. Thank you for fixing the hole in the sky and also the one by the dead man’s house. There were demons but they’re mostly gone now and people are going outside now. Da says Amaranthine has been through too much and can survive anything and he says you’re an elf like us and the Hero of Ferelden was an elf too. He says people used to think elves can’t be heroes but now they don’t. Have you met the Hero of Ferelden? Also I heard that even though you’re Dalish Andraste helped you in the Fade and that humans let you be in the Chantry because anyone Andraste likes must be a really good person. What’s Andraste like? The Chant says a lot but it’s different meeting someone I think. Also I think I saw you a little before but Mum wasn’t sure because you had a helmet on and we were far away and there were a lot of people but I bet it was you. Da wasn’t sure I should write because he says the Dalish don’t like city elves like we are but I think you must be nice and Mum agrees with me. I’ve been playing demon hunters with my brother Arrion (he’s just five still) and Da said templars are who fights demons usually and elves can’t be templars. People thought elves couldn’t be heroes and inquisitors though and we are so I bet I could too. Is it hard fighting demons? Da says they’re real scary but I’m not scared. Thank you for helping us and everyone and I hope you kill lots of demons. Sincerely, Isell U’venlan

From Umbra - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic

Cenric sits on the floor, draped in a white cotton tunic. It might have been snug on a Roegadyn but anyone else would find ample room. Behind him, Memesu stands on a cot holding shears. Gold earrings dangle on either side of her face.

“I fought at Carteneau, you know,” she mentions casually. There is a soft hsssssshhhh. Click.

Hair hits the floor. Coils.

He starts to shake his head, aborts the gesture partway through. Stills. “…you saw Bahamut?”

Memesu snorts. “I’m sure everyone this side of Hydaelyn saw Bahamut.” Click.

“That’s probably true,” he concedes. The dragon is what everyone knows, everyone remembers. He can't imagine the proximity. “What about the Warriors of Light?”

“Pff.” Gentle tugging at his scalp. Cenric does not open his eyes but leans into the motion. “I wasn’t of rank to see their like. Not that I’d remember. Stop moving.” Click.

Cenric hesitates.

“What do you remember, then?”

For a time, the only sound comes from blades and a thousand strands cut short. This lasts for several minutes. Cenric resigns himself to secrets.

Then, “I used to think I was special too. As a twin. My sister was Memeni. We studied together.”

Was.

The exhale hits him slowly, quietly.

“She died?”

He can feel the shrug in her hip against his shoulder.

“It was Carteneau,” says Memesu. “Of course she died.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Click. “It had nothing too do with you. If you keep trying to claim responsibility for every misfortune you find, you’re going to get self-important.”

Cenric only grunts, quiet and non-committal.

Click.

“Carteneu was so much worse than people remember. Only four years later and already we hurry to dispose of details.” There is a hard undercurrent to Memesu’s voice, but what contact she makes remains light. Careful. “I remember the arcanist from Limsa who didn’t dodge a magitek canon in time. Miqo’te. Spells come faster in that discipline, so there’s less stress on distance than thaumaturgy. Girl got careless.” Click. “The mess smelled like rotten eggs and charcoal. Her face was… melted.” Click. “I try not to look in those situations. They only make casting harder. But she was so close.”

Cenric doesn’t move. Doesn’t say a word.

Memesu continues. “One of our own gladiators, an Ala Mhigan, took to mutilating any pureblooded Garleans he could catch. The man had a string of eyes hanging around his neck. I’m pretty sure one enemy officer wet himself before he started to beg. Not that it particularly mattered.”

Click.

“Memeni… didn’t anticipate what she was getting herself into. She saw magic as a way of being useful to craftsmen. My focus has always been theoretical. Right side.” Startled, Cenric lets her guide his jaw to get a better view of his profile. Click. Click. “Meni used to think I was a priss. She preferred to develop magitek kettles alongside alchemists. See if she could find a way to capture light like the Mhachi did. She still enjoyed fishing when she could, even though it smelled awful. Never outgrew the braids she wore growing up. ” Memesu sighs. “…just understand she died afraid, in pain, and with things left undone. My sister didn’t even resemble herself at the end.”

Cenric is very still. Thinks carefully.

“…I wish it could have gone differently,” he says at last.

Memesu’s mouth slides up in a small, crooked smile. She tousles the neat, ear-length hair before her. “So do I.”

Eclipse - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic

It ends at Elidibus’ untimely arrival.

“Lord Zodiark,” he says, so smoothly that were he not searching for it that the anger would be undetectable, “appreciates your attentions.” His gaze does not waver from Lahabrea as he speaks. “But there is work to be done and I’m afraid there are words I would have with your Speaker.”

They disperse.

Nabriales, careful and curious, folds himself out of sight beyond the chamber then makes his way back to its edge.

Lahabrea, farthest from the exit, attempts to steal some small dignity. Turns to face Elidibus.

The Emissary makes him wait. Expressionless red masks matched by those who wear them.

Then, with more speed and force than typical for his demeanor, the Emissary closes distance to trap his colleague against the wall.

“It was my error,” hisses Elidibus, leaning in, “to have stayed silent upon rescuing you. A mistake I will remedy now, so we can be on no uncertain terms.”

Lahabrea lowers his eyes. Nabriales notes that despite the dread they all share of such reprimands, the man does not brace.

“You know as well as I that these words offer less succor to our Lord than action,” continues Elidibus, his fury quiet and no less sharp for that, “just as we both know your thoughtless action is the cause of repeated missteps these past centuries. Make no mistake—for all the strides you’ve made, your fixation and your impatience have cost the rest of us considerable time.”

Silence.

“Do you truly think this is your best service to Him?” asks Elidibus. “To us? Compromising your ability to fill the hours? Even Emet-Selch agrees these displays are disgraceful. You have ever borne them poorly, but being a 'paragon among paragons' naturally you continue ignoring your own better judgment with ours to continue this exercise in futility. Idiot.”

A twitch of the head. Almost a flinch.

It is one of few moments Nabriales has seen the Emissary express his anger so openly. Even after the Thirteenth fell to Igeyorhm’s error, Elidibus allowed the Angel of Truth to lead and voiced his own reproach with a more typical icy demeanor. Scathing though it was.

“I can be of use,” says Lahabrea softly. “Only three of us remain, and I—“

“You,” Elidibus snaps, “cannot follow the most simple instructions for the good of us all. Not for Him, not for Amaurot, not even for yourself. Your pride has made you not simply an embarrassment but a liability.”

Neither man speaks for several moments after that.

And then, at length, Elidibus exhales.

Says the Speaker’s name.

Receives his attention.

“What would you have me do?” the Emissary asks. His tone now is almost weary. “Clearly it would be unreasonable to trust you’d simply listen. Must I mind you like a child?” This is what breaks Lahabrea’s composure.

Knowing the man’s temper, Nabriales had expected him to lash out. Even on the back foot their orator is perfectly capable of defending himself from insults.

Instead, he embraces Elidibus fiercely—face just within the bounds of his pauldrons. Jaw locked shut firmly enough to hurt. Expression downcast.

Elidibus remains perfectly still at first. In the absence of conversation it is possible to hear the rush of Lahabrea’s breathing. Only through the nose, withheld briefly between each inhale as if that offers some means to steady himself.

As if that would make it better.

Tentatively, Elidibus holds him back. Lahabrea's fingers contract, and though he remains upright when his knees begin to give it is the Emissary who helps him kneel.

“Easy,” he murmurs, and Lahabrea removes one hand to run it reflexively over his face—coming against the mask.

Nabriales finds himself staring, searching. A puzzle with missing pieces whose image he may yet divine

“It was not,” says Lahabrea roughly, “my intention to…”

Elidibus reaches beneath the other man’s cowl, finds the hair and skin beneath. Draws him in once more.

Naught that would be shared with or among the Sundered. Nothing so personal as that.

Nabriales has worn his own share of flesh. Bedded lovers, adopted companions and families of vessels to fulfill a purpose. Passable enough, perhaps, but never for him. Not in truth.

It’s as if he looks upon two strangers.

Parched - A Final Fantasy XIV Fanfic

The door closes behind them. Lahabrea, projecting his preferred likeness over the host, waits on a couch within.

It’s admittedly a surreal sight. Ishgardian finery with its gilded edges, its elaborate wallpapers and marble floors. A collection of creams and blues and greens, fine furniture with velvet seat cushions. All ostentatious in the extreme… and then Lahabrea. Masked and cowled. Pouring three glasses of La Noscean arrack.

Elidibus freezes, and though none of them can see his eyes the confusion is clear enough.

“What is this?”

“Your turn,” says Emet-Selch, lightly but less flippant than he might have been.

Lahabrea proffers a cup from where he sits.

Elidibus neither moves nor speaks.

Emet-Selch approaches. Takes the drink. Presses it carefully into the other man’s hand.

“Don’t think,” he says smoothly,” that I won’t let you drop it.”

Mercifully, Elidibus has a good grip.

“Sit,” says Lahabrea, gesturing with his own glass to the sofa across from him.

Elidibus sits.

Emet-Selch sits.

Takes his own glass, perhaps a bit pointedly.

Elidibus’ mouth is pressed tight. It opens briefly, as if to speak. Shuts again.

“Explain,” the Emissary manages eventually.

Lahabrea meets his co-conspirator’s eye. Downs his arrack in a single attempt.

It is a long attempt.

It lasts several moments.

The other Ascians watch.

“Elidibus,” says Emet-Selch as Lahabrea endeavors to catch his breath in the aftermath, “Lahabrea and I are concerned that you may be experiencing some difficulties in recent years.”

“I’m fine,” replies Elidibus coldly. Holding his drink. “Why did you think this necessary?”

“Because—“ wheezes Lahabrea.

“Because you’re practically a mammet,” says Emet-Selch, picking up Lahabrea’s glass. Moving it just out of reach. “Truly. It’s been what, two hundred years? Three? Neither of us can remember the last time you so much as spoke of matters unrelated to the Rejoining.”

Lahabrea reaches. Elidibus pours his arrack into the other man’s glass before nudging it back toward him.

Elidibus makes eye contact with Emet-Selch.

“I remain focused,” he says evenly. “Nothing more.”

Emet-Selch gestures to the bottle.

Elidibus sighs.

Refills his own glass.

“There are matters I must attend myself. As is the case with each of you.”

“Undoubtedly,” replies Lahabrea more evenly. “But with few exceptions, you haven’t done so.”

A hard stare from behind the mask.

“What would you have me do? I can’t very well take time off.”

Emet-Selch sips.

“A negligible amount of time,” he says, “taken sparingly, may be forgivable.”

5. Scene you haven’t written, but want to?

Lmao see this is a plus side/minus side deal. Minus side, it’s being asked just before I embark on a MASSIVE ASS FANFIC. And I basically am excited for all of it. Plus side, there are things I refuse to spoil.

So... putting it vaguely, in no particular order:

- Lahabrea and Hydaelyn meet a second time after Praetorium.

- Moonfire Faire

- Thancred

- Conversations over mulled wine

- Silvertear Lake

Some of these are sex scenes. Most aren’t. But I am very hyped.

7 notes · View notes

lupihero · 4 years

Text

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse - meme.

tagged by: @bxstiae thank u!! tagging: anyone who wants to do this ♡

fill out & repost ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au ( has au verses ) / canon-divergent / fandomless

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO.

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO / MAYBE.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO / MAYBE.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

How strictly do you follow canon? — pretty strictly. tbh i think i could do with a little more canon-divergence but i usually focus pretty hard on canon and diverging too far in my own muses, unless they were poorly written, tends to bother me.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — need a sweet country boy with a heart of gold who loves hard and fast and considers everyone he loves as part of his family ? how about a boy that can kick your ass to the sacred realm and back with his bare hands and a dizzying amount of strength ? how about a big friendly wolf that really doesn’t act all that much like a wolf but is big and soft and a really nice companion ? a boy that carries on and sees the best in people despite his trauma ? a boy who’s an absolute fucking dork and loses his mind whenever he sees a cat ? will smith poses @ link

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — he’s the protagonist, he’s too nice, too likable, and he might be, from some perspectives, super overpowered. a lot of his flaws are issues that come with a lot of protagonist characters, like selflessness to a fault, recklessness, a desire to help no matter the cost, etc., and it might come across as overdone or unoriginal for someone like him.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — twipri has been my favorite video game of all time since i first played it the xmas after it came out, when i was 7. it was an unbelievably huge influence on my life, and got me through a whole lot of shit i’d have to go through up until i was a teenager. it was a constant for me, a comfort. and link, being the protagonist, was of course the center of it. i connected to him really hard, and becoming him whenever i played the game was like magic to me as a kid. honestly, i dont know why i didnt write him until this year, because he’s been such an easy headspace for me to slip into for years. ig i just figured it was about time? id already written both tp zel and midna at separate points, so it was only right to complete the trio ksjfgh

What keeps your inspiration going? — the game itself, its soundtrack, art, linked universe and its little fandom, and you guys! just seeing all of your posts and your passion for loz and its characters helps fuel the love i have for it too!

Some more personal questions for the mun.

give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO.

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO. ( i have. built up a lot of hcs about this boy over the years )

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO. ( i usually do write drabbles every now and then, idk why i haven’t for link yet )

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO.

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO. ( hmm i mean. i think i am, anyway?? i like the way i portray him, but i guess im sorta insecure about whether or not yall like my portrayal lmao )

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO. ( more or less, it depends on the day. back when i was a Gifted Kid my Gift was writing, and i was literally always chosen to read things i wrote aloud at school assemblies and things, so i. very much have a love / hate relationship w it )

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. ( i mean. i try really hard not to be but :’^) )

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — tbh, i don’t know?? i usually do with other muses, but bc twi is very special to me i have literally no idea how well i would take it. of course, if u do have criticism ( of the constructive sort, of course ), i still welcome it

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — yes!!! if you ever have anything you wanna know about twi and the way i write him, please ask!!!

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — nope. unless it’s in the context of sharing hcs back and forth and building on each other or part of a friendly conversation, i don’t want to hear why you think i’m wrong. i still think about that personal that rb’d a hc i made a month or so ago and put in the tags all the reasons they disagreed w me and i wish i didn’t bc i hate it

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — i?? dunno??? i guess i’d just tell them to unfollow. i’m not here to write link the way you think he should be written, i’m here to write him the way i want to.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — hkljfg does anyone hate link??? like. he’s link. he’s neutral at worst. but it’s not my business if someone hates him, so to each their own ig

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — mm i don’t mind it, but i don’t really see the point. rp is a form of writing that doesn’t need much editing, and when it does, we are our own editors, so of course we’re going to make mistakes and overlook them. english is a complicated and hard language, and typos/misspellings/grammar errors happen and it’s not a big deal

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — yes!! i’m a very laid-back person in general i think, and of course i have things i won’t tolerate and i’ll speak up when i need to, but at the end of the day rp is a hobby, and it’s something we do to have fun, and i know that having fun is the most important part of doing this. though, sometimes i think my anxiety & fear of confrontation might make me a little too lenient on things like my own rules tho kjfhg

that’s about it, congrats for filling out!

#okaY sorry for all the ooc again today!! i feel like drawing so i think im gonna doodle some tonight but #if anyone wants to talk u can ask for my discord or pop into my ims!!#⸢ OUT. ⸥ i’m actually a cat person.#dash games tbt.

2 notes · View notes