#but it wasn’t justified to yell at me
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Got yelled at today for telling a patient I needed to double check if they were getting a colonoscopy. I never promise a scope before we’ve rounded with the attending, because occasionally they’ll change their mind or something will come up, and I just don’t know enough to always predict when that will happen. And, more importantly, I’m not the one doing the scope. Anyway, the patient took me saying I wasn’t sure to mean that the team had changed their mind. No amount of reassurance or explaining helped. They immediately started shouting at me that I better not have made them do all this prep for nothing and they were gonna be really pissed if they didn’t get their scope. I get why they were mad, and I get why this in particular upset them, but it sucks getting yelled at when you didn’t do anything. If I promise someone a scope and for some reason they don’t get one, I get yelled at. If I say I can’t make promises because I don’t make the call, I get yelled at. You can’t win.
#i was pretty sure we were gonna do the scope#but in my defense the overnight note said prep for possible scope#and we hadn’t talked to the gi attending yet#so I didn’t want to promise on something I can’t deliver#idk it’s justified that they were upset#but it wasn’t justified to yell at me#kinda forgot how upsetting it is to be screamed at by a stranger#also today I was just very stupid in general#not my best day#medicine#residency#medblr#my content#my text posts
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I hate men and their need to act like any emotional reactions you have while you’re on your period is just you being “hormonal” and “not yourself”
(Rant in tags)
#like sorry I’m actually defending myself rather than just letting you talk shit about me directly infront of me??#when I’m on my period I tend to show more of my real emotions rather than what people want to see so yeah#but the conversation I was having with my brother was fine- I wasn’t talking to him in any way#he asked me about the monster that I had because like an hour or two ago he asked me not to throw it away since it’s one with the cod#qr code thing on it and he asked me if I threw it away and I said “no it’s not empty right now it’s infront of the microwave” and right#after my dad jumps in saying nobody needs to take offense to how I’m talking or how I’m being? when I didn’t say anything in any way? like#my brother didn’t even have the time to respond to me before he jumped in and started indirectly talking shit#I’m so done right now- all he’s done the last few days is nit pick at me about stupid shit like yesterday we missed the our bus stop and we#get off and this man starts yelling at me that now he doesn’t get to eat (mind you he never explicitly said he wanted to get off at that#stop I thought we were just going directly home)- he constantly says shit on purpose to get a rise out of me and now for some reason my#brother (the one that is 17) has been budding in and telling me to stfu and all this shit and my dad feeds off it and uses it as more of a#reason to justify how he’s treating me and it’s just so upsetting cause he does know I’m in a more vulnerable time right now since my period#is always really difficult anyways really sorry for the rant don’t have any friends I can talk to irl about any of this so to the internet#it goes 🙃#random0lover emotional dumps#random0lover rambling ♡
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i like rereading old messages from my toxic ex friends
like yes!!!! i’m gonna!!!!! read the forgotten scrolls!!!
#toxic friends#ex friends#big yikes#they got mad at me when i was declining calls back when we were fighting right before i left them#for context i wasn’t trying to make things worse it was a show night for my first musical and i was leaving in 5 minutes#so i didn’t miss call time and get yelled at#when i got into the musical they barely told me they were proud of me and got mad when i was busy with rehearsals#they never asked me to do things with them beforehand anyways#they started hating me and trying to spread rumors a couple days before opening night but almost no one knew us or liked them so yah#then after everything one of them volunteered for helping with at the door ticket sales and concessions and stuff#KNOWING DAMN WELL I WOULD BE THERE BC WHEN WE STILL TALKED (2 MCFUCKIN DAYS BEFOREHAND) I NEVER SHUT THE FUCK UP ABT IT#AND HAD THE NERVE TO LOOK AT ME AS THOUGH I DID SOMETHING WRONG#THEY ONLY STARTED HATING ME BC I MADE FRIENDS WITH 3 WHOLE ENTIRE PEOPLE AND DEFENDED ONE OF THEM BC SHES MENTALLY ILL#THE TOXIC OLD FRIENDS WERE SAYING HER MENTAL ILLNESS DOESNT JUSTIFY HER BC SHE SHOULD HAVE JUST CONTROLLED IT??????#BE SO FR RN
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i do a really bad thing where i have a conversation in my head but then retaliate out loud like when i’m overwhelmed i’ll be like ‘gosh everyone is being so annoying and so loud’ and then the second someone talks to me directly i’ll be like ‘STOP DONT TALK TO ME’ instead of being normal in the first place and asking people to not talk to me in a polite manner
#and like i know WHY i do it but it still doesn’t make it right#i just had a fight with my sister but apparently my argument wasn’t valid because i did the same thing to her yesterday#and like i know i do that because my family doesn’t respect me or my requests in the first place so over time#i’ve just stopped making them so now when i’m over stimulated or stressed i just react#and like i have never truly yelled at someone maliciously in my life like it feels very unnatural to yell#but my sister said i was screaming at her like a crazy person so like at the end of the day my feelings on the matter i hurt her no matter#how unintentionally and like fuck my mother but she looked me dead in the face and said this is why everyone hates you and doesn’t want to#have a relationship with you because you’re a hypocrite who doesn’t even realize when i’m doing the same thing as them#and like while it IS different it’s not an excuse and just#yeah bad night mentally and emotionally for that to walk into at home especially since while i understand what i ddi wrong yesterday#i don’t know how that correlates to today and me being confused and upset because my sister refused to answer a question about my dog#because it was ‘none of my business’ and no one would justify my feelings on it#eris: text#[redacted]
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night out
a/n: we back babyyy!!! i haven't been able to stop thinking about these two for fucking months, so i wrote both this aaaaand another part to wrap up their story and get it out of my system.
summary: “I can’t believe you’re fucking jealous right now…”
warnings: bodyguard!bucky barnes x reader x ex!peter parker, light smut, reader’s mom is the british ambassador to france, age gap (10-15 years), tattooed!bucky (both a metal arm and tattoos as picked in a poll by you), beefy!bucky, forbidden romance, bffs kate bishop and yelena belova, french rave, dancing, kissing, over-the-clothes fun, foreplay, references to public sex, choking, manhandling, jealousness, possessiveness, angst, arguments, brat mode activated (though its totally justified), these hoes are not dealing with their emotions in a healthy way but it's just for the sake of yummy drama
word count: 1993
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“I thought we were just going to a cute little wine bar, not a fucking rave,” you yelled over the music as your friends dragged you further into the warehouse.
“Oh, come on, babe,” Yelena boomed, slinking her arm around both yours and Kate's neck, “don’t be a chicken now.”
“Yeah,” your brunette friend on the other side of Yelena tilted her frame to catch your apprehensive eye, “you already sneaked out, so you might as well make it count.”
“I hate it when you’re right,” you groaned, your gaze narrowed to a squint as you got used to the warm flashing lights that dully illuminated the club.
“Then you must always hate me,” a smug smirk spread across her features before the trio of you ventured further into the crowded space.
As the night faded away, you found yourselves bathing in the strobes of neon light as your bodies moved on their own accord, like you were all part of a hive, buzzing together in harmony.
But then when you tapped both of your dancing friends on their shoulders and ushered their ears to lean in close to your lips, you told them, “I’m gonna go get some water,” receiving two thumbs up before you made your way through the crowd to the curved bar in the corner.
However, after the bartender handed you a plastic bottle and you tilted your head back to take a much-needed sip, a familiar voice found your ears from across the bar.
“As I live and fucking breathe,” you tipped the bottle back down and glanced down the way at the unexpected figure moseying closer to where you stood.
“Peter!” a surprised smile couldn’t help but spread across your features, “what are you doing here?”
Settling in beside you, he said, “it’s a Saturday night, where else would I be?”
“No, I mean, what are you doing in Paris?”
“Oh, what, am I not allowed to be in your city anymore since the breakup?” he joked.
“No, of course, you can be here.”
Leaning in even closer so that he didn’t have to yell as loud, he asked, “so how are you doing?”
“Me? I’m good, yeah,” your head bobbed in a nod, “how about you?”
“Can’t complain,” his gaze washed over you as if no time had passed at all, “so… can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” you shifted the water bottle to your other hand.
“You seeing anyone?”
“Oh, wow,” you half coughed, “Peter Parker, king of subtlety.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve seen you naked more times than I can count, so I figured subtlety went out the window a long time ago,” he smirked, “so, are you?”
“I–, uhm…” your eyes averted a moment as you uttered, “no.”
You weren’t, it was true. Though the reason for why you’d sneaked out in the first place did have to do with a matter of the heart.
You’d asked your friends what their advice would be if you hypothetically needed to get over someone. They both of course assumed that you were referring to the man standing before you in the disco and not the person who watched you like a hawk every minute of every day. The method they had suggested wasn’t a sound one, though one that still found you desperate enough to try.
To go out, meet someone else and bang the dude out of your system.
“Can I ask you something else?” Peter asked again, ripping you out of your thoughts, away from your bodyguard and back in the moment. As you offered him a nod, he smiled brightly, “you wanna dance?”
And that’s how you found yourself in the middle of a crowded dancefloor, plastered against your ex.
It didn’t take long before your lips reunited as well, staying locked as you both let your hands wander, though for you it wasn’t entirely in the spirit of rekindling something that you’d missed, and more to help you forget about the person who you truly wished to lose yourself on a dancefloor with.
“Fuck,” you heard Peter groan in your ear and his desperation poked your lower abdomen for the attention you used to give it, “you wanna go slip into the bathroom?”
“Uhh,” you giggled as his lips tickled the side of your neck, “what kinda woman do you take me to be?”
“Mine,” he smiled, “that’s who. I know you. A club bathroom is nothing… remember Amsterdam?”
“Y-yeah, I remember,” your body tingled at the thought.
“That’s also an option, if that’s the kind of mood you're in,” he winked.
Chuckling as he squeezed your tit, you shook your head lightly, “I’m not fucking you here on the dancefloor.”
“Oh, come on, it–”
But the rest of your ex’s sentence was cut short as a figure forced itself between you two and pried you apart.
Instinctively reaching out for Peter as he was forcefully pushed back, your arm then faltered as you blinked up to discover who had shoved him.
“Barnes,” a shiver ran down your spine at the stormy expression plastered all over his face, a side of him you’d never witnessed before, “I–”
But he cut you off, only to bark, “out, now.”
“But I–”
“Do you wanna walk on your own or should I just toss you over my shoulder?” he glared down at you just before you watched Peter’s hand plant itself on Bucky’s broad shoulder.
“Hey, dude, don’t touch her, back off,” your ex tried to square up to the intimidating guard dog.
“No, no, Peter, it’s alright,” you rushed to explain, knowing full well that your bodyguard could and would put him in the hospital, “he’s–…” your eyes briefly flickered up to Bucky’s steely blue eyes, still directed at you, “he’s my bodyguard,” before you let your touch graze Peter’s forearm, “I’m so sorry, it was great seeing you again, but I have to go.”
Getting dragged out of the club like a perp from a crime scene was not the way you’d imagined your night would wrap up.
After he’d virtually tossed you in the back and slammed the car door shut behind you, you fished out your phone and swiftly sent your friends an explanatory text while you half-watched Bucky march around the vehicle to the driver’s side.
The silent treatment he then served you nearly felt worse than the heated words you imagined tumbled around in his head as he fumed, his knuckles nearly turned white from how fiercely he was gripping onto the steering wheel.
But when you finally mustered the courage to break the eerie silence, your words came out just above a whisper, “I’m sorry…”
“Are you?” his eyes snapped up to find yours in the review mirror, “really? Because I don’t fucking buy it.”
“Well, I am!” you threw up your arms, “what do you want me to do?”
“Not sneak out like a fucking teenager to get drunk with your little boyfriend,”
“I’m not drunk and he’s not my boyfriend!”
Not taking any of your words to heart, Bucky went on, “you know how stupid this was, right? What if something had happened, huh? I know you didn’t personally read the threats you got back when I first got this job, but trust me when I tell you that if any of those fuckers had gotten their hands on you tonight, you’d be lucky if you were still breathing when the sun rose. This is exactly the sort of reckless behaviour that caused you to need my help in the first place.”
Your mouth then fell open, utterly stunned at his audacity, “oh my god… you’re unbelievable…” you uttered breathlessly before hazily commanding, “stop the car…”
“No–”
“Stop the fucking car!” you roared, casting your gaze to him once more till you felt his foot step on the break.
As the car screeched to a stop, you wasted no time ripping the door open and storming out.
Though you didn’t dare to look back, you still heard him exit the vehicle as well and shadow you as you wandered a few paces away, just far enough for you to be able to get some air.
“Y/n,” you heard him from just a few meters behind you, “get back in the car–”
But you didn’t shift your feet as you then interrupted, back still turned to him.
“I can’t believe you’re fucking jealous right now…”
“What?”
“Well aren’t you?” you heatedly twisted around to face him, “because it sure fucking looks like it. Getting all fucking possessive, ripping me away from my ex before I can crawl my way back to him, before I get the chance to feel anyone inside of me but you–”
“Stop–”
“Is that it? You just want me all to yourself?” you kept on poking, too blind by your fury to consider the consequences, “you want it to be you that I’m so in love with that I’d make you personalised porn, which would consequently ruin my life and cause me to have a babysitter essentially stalking me.”
“Stop!” he took a step closer as he barked.
“Unless you’ve already seen the tape,” your feet shifted back, keeping him at a distance, “fantasising that it’s for you, getting yourself off to the image of me bouncing on that pretty pink dildo–”
Your sentence then crumbled into a shrivelled yelp as you felt his cold metal hand seize your neck and push you the last few inches up against the brick wall behind you.
His fingers didn’t squeeze you in the slightest, though you still knew just how easy it would have been for him to tighten his grip and turn it into more than just a raging warning.
“You done?” he spat as his eyes pieced directly into your soul, “or do you wanna give me more reasons why you’re nothing more than a spoiled little brat, why I should just quit now and not have to deal anymore with what a fucking pain you are in my ass?”
For the life of you, no attempts at offering him an answer were successful on your lips.
He scared you.
He’d never scared you before.
Both because of the explosion you’d undoubtedly made even worse than it had to be, but also his fleeting threat of leaving you for good.
It all terrified you…
Though, there was also a different sensation that it awoke within you, one that caused your eyes to flutter down towards his lips, an action that your bodyguard surprisingly mirrored as well as your heated breaths synced up.
You had no idea who moved first, if it was you or him, but the next thing you knew, you were kissing him.
With adrenaline still pumping in your veins, you clawed at his broad frame as you let your tongue flicker out and flutter against his own. The steely hand that had locked itself around your neck softened and whisked down your form, mirroring your own starving touch as he securely held you like you were about to fall.
However, just as your palm slid down to find the bulge in his pants, rubbing it needily before your fingers tried to seize the short zipper, Bucky took a large step back, snapping to his senses and creating a wide distance between him and your melted form against the brick.
His eyes refused to meet your foggy ones as he held them to the ground, slowly catching his breath before uttering, “get in the car,” defeat shining through in his low tone.
“Bucky–,” you tried, but without success as he then cut you off.
“Please, just–…” his gaze fluttered shut a moment as you then heard him sombrely promise, “look, I’ll make sure your mom doesn’t hear word of what happened tonight. If we go now, then we’ll arrive before any of the staff wakes up, no one will notice.”
© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble
#lea’s writing#bodyguard!bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#bodyguard!bucky#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x f!reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x fem!reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfiction#sebastian stan smut#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes oneshot#winter soldier smut#peter parker x reader#peter parker smut
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Hatefucking with Sanemi? Hashira reader and Sanemi have a history of tension between each other and reader challenges that he wouldn't be able to handle the strap. He's confident, but by the end of the night you have him flat on top of you with his tongue lolling out while he sloppily rolls his hips into your length
Dammn- alr let’s go I did learn to appreciate him, somehow (also the sub kny fandom is still alive?)
Dom!hashira!reader x sub!sanemi - reader is gn
Warning: pegging (I use dick to refer to it), taking virginity, teasing, a tiny bit dacryphilia, cursing, mind break, I got lazy towards the end
His bad attitude was as infamous as his strength, his very own trademark, a huge part of his image. He was disrespectful towards everyone except the master, and frankly, he seemed to hate you to most. That was half justified, since you’d always bicker with him, taunting him by calling him weaker. Whenever the two of you met, a fight would break out while others shake their head. Today was no exception.
“Fuck, why do you have to keep bothering me?” Sanemi yelled, his hand on his sword, ready to pull it out at any moment. “Bothering you? I just happened to head to the same direction!” You sneered back, pulling a grimace. It was time for another hashira meeting, and just as fate wanted, you bumped into him on your way. “If you want to fight just say so.” The wind hashira glared at you, a vein forming on his forehead due to his anger.
You rolled your eyes, you weren’t in a mood for a barking dog like him, deciding to just ignore him and walk away. To your dismay, he shouted again and grabbed your wrist, “hey! Don’t you fucking ignore me!” You got pulled back by him. Agitated, you decided to not let this slide and yanked your wrist back, causing him to fall into your arms. “Let’s not fight like some brute animals today.” After catching him in an embrace, you clenched his shoulder with one hand.
“Suddenly acting so proper, aren’t you?” He snarled, letting go of you and pulling his hand back. “I just don’t want to cause troubles. How about, if you can take me, I’ll humble myself and apologise to you?” You suggested, then stopped squeezing him and raised both hands up into a surrender position. Sanemi stared at you suspiciously, but this idea of yours wasn’t unattractive in the slightest.
He wasn’t sure what you meant, even so he agreed without a second thought. “Don’t you dare go back on your words.” A cheeky smirk appeared on your lips as you said, “same goes for you.”
Maybe he should have asked what you had in mind despite his temporarily clouded judgement, because this was the absolute opposite of whatever he thought of. And that was very apparent on his face. You did tell him he can still back out and you wouldn’t tease him about it, since you didn’t really expect him to actually heed the promise. But, he was as hot-tempered as he was stubborn and insisted on continuing, mocking you by saying, “are you getting nervous or what?”
Fine, if he really wants to, who were you to stop him. That’s how the two of you got into this mess, this hot and filthy mess where both of you were striped bare on top of the bed, with him straddling your lap. You laid down comfortably while sanemi hovered above you. The deal was for you to not use your hands while he rode you, to see who would give up first. A faint blush covered your cheeks as you stared at him, at his firm muscles and pretty scars. Instead of being intimidated or even repulsed, you’ve always found them quite endearing.
Then your eyes darted back to his face, watching him with the utmost concentration. You were going to savour this moment to the fullest. His eyes were clenched shut, lips pressed into a thin line as he furrowed his brows. In comparison to your face, his was as red as it can be and sweat rolled down his cheeks. With shaky hands, he grabbed the shaft and tried to line it up with his hole, the other hand was clenching your shoulder for support. Slowly, he lowered himself onto your dick, gritting his teeth at each inch.
“You are doing great, sanemi.” You decided to give him an award praise, since you were pretty sure this was his first time. A kind of guilty washed over you for taking that from him over some measly bet. Instead of being thankful he snapped at you, mumbling, “shut up, I don’t need your compliments.” Before sticking the tip inside. And dear lord, the moan that followed was the lewdest thing you’ve heard up until now. “Ah-aAnnNG♡…?!” Loud, high-pitched and sharp, the little tremble in voice as he trailed off was just as lovely. He underestimated how painful it would be, feeling an indescribable pain course through his body along with something akin to lust.
Now he was shaking even more, slumping forward as he gripped your shoulders with both hands, using enough strength to leave bruises. He was thinking about whether or not he should continue, when his body so desperately wanted to take it out. “Uh-urghhh… d-damn it..” sanemi groaned, taking a few minutes to get used to the stretch. In the end he decided to suck it up and keep going, clutching you so roughly that his knuckles turned white.
You hissed slightly at the pain, closing one eye while bearing it. After calming down a little, you joked, “Don’t break my collarbone.” Your own hands were bawled into firm fists and kept next to your body, itching to touch and to feel him. He didn’t react to your little joke, in contrary, he was focused on taking you whole, trying to protect his pride from taking hits. With a swift move, he went down on you. “GuuUUhh..! Ah- y-y/n..” subconsciously, he called out for you, taking his sweet time bottoming out. Your ears perked a little when he used your proper name, surprised at the sudden change in character.
Without much to say, you stayed silent as you watched him pushing the entire length in, observing him overcoming his struggles. His bangs stuck to his forehead due to the amount of sweat coating him, he was still clenching his eyes shut as of now. You traced the scars on his body with your eyes. There were many large ones, turning his entire body into a patchwork. Some were even on his thighs. How you wanted to draw the outlines of them with your fingers and note gaze, how you wanted to tug his hair behind his face, so many things you wanted but couldn’t.
You gulped loudly, swallowing the lump inside your throat as he took half of your cock in. At this point he didn’t seem like the same he was moments ago. All of his movements became sloppy, clumsy even. Everything about him was shaking and you could tell he was at his limit just by his expression. The way he bit his bottom lip didn’t reveal if it was because of the pain or other reasons, but it was very likely. And the desire to just grab him by the waist and have your way with him was strong, but you decided to dispose of that thought.
After a few more minutes, he eventually sat down completely, one hand rubbing his tummy as he felt you deep inside him. “F-fuck…” He whispered through gritted teeth, instinctively trying to close his legs. You could feel his walls clenching down on you, holding you in a tight embrace. His face had a hint of struggle to it and he stayed completely still, probably adjusting to the stretching sensation. With your hands still rendered useless, you waited, observing him and noticing how he got hard.
His precum dripped down onto your stomach, creating a small puddle of fluids. It somehow put your mind at ease, to think that he was enjoying this and not just cursing under his breath. Then you teased him, “oh sanemi~ I didn’t know you liked getting fucked? Do you use your hole often?” The way he tried to slap you but stopped mid track was kind of funny. Due to him moving so suddenly he also moves his hips, causing him to inhale sharply as the pain spread again. “UrgHhh..!” He immediately covered his mouth with his palm, shoulders raised to his ears as he looked away.
“This won’t do, you have to move sooner or later.” You sighed as another idea popped up, raising an eyebrow at him before chuckling, “or is it too much for you? Do tell, I won’t force you.” The playful tone you used ticked him off so badly that he moved up, trying to keep down the embarrassing noises as he said, “you are getting rather impatient, don’t tell me it’s a ploy?” Then he slammed himself down again, and moaned loudly, “ah-aaAAAhH… w-wait..?” The tip hit something inside him that send chills down his spine, making his blush darken by a few shades. “T-the heck was that…” sanemi mumbled, he was kind of curious now, because that feeling was strange.
After that weird sensation coursed through his body, it didnt hurt anymore, instead he only felt a hot, burning sensation spread from there to the rest of his body. Not long after, he began chasing that feeling, bouncing up and down as more perverted noises escaped his tightly sealed lips. “Mhhmm..! Ngh… ah, y-you.. don’t you dare tell a-anyone about it.” He glared at you, don’t wanting others to find out about him enjoying this. Yet it didn’t feel intimidating considering the state he was in, and how adorable his face was.
At this point he was riding you with such fever that the slapping sound of skin against skin filled the room to the brim, echoing off the walls, reaching your ears. The rather lewd squelching sounds that erupted whenever he took you deep inside was not any better. He bit his bottom lips again, opening his eyes as he stared down at himself. This messy appearance of his made him feel humiliated, since he was showing this vulnerable side to you. You could also say he felt ashamed.
His dick twitched happily, bouncing against his own belly at times, creating sticky strings that connect the two parts. You could hardly contain yourself, keeping the promise seemed harder than ever before. Why did you have to propose a deal like that? And his waist seemed so tiny and grab-able in that moment, this was pure torture. Because you couldn’t contribute to making a mess out of him, you resumed to using your words to have some fun, smiling as you asked, “are you enjoying this? Or do you feel like giving up?”
“H-haah… Never, not against you.” He scoffed, giving you a challenging smirk before throwing his head back. Hot and warm walls squeezing you the best he could, tears collecting in the corners of his eyes. Though he didn’t cry, he held himself back from doing that, only whimpering more and more with each passing second. “Aw, how cute you are, putting on a show like that.” You continued, meaning every word you said. “But it looks like you are doing it because of self fulfilment instead of the bet?”
He stopped abruptly, feeling his body shake at the sudden loss of pleasure. Wait, pleasure? So he was enjoying it. He did like whatever was going on, with him on top of you, riding you like some cheap whore. A wave of embarrassment washed over him before he craved in to his desires and yelled, “urGhhh!! Shut up! I-I do what I want uHhnng, you hear?!” That boy only raised his voice because he finally noticed, how he fell into your trap. Even if he were to win and you to lose, you wouldn’t have really lost. How sly of you.
“Oh, so you’ve noticed?” You laughed, and put your hands on his hips. “?! W-what are you doing! That’s- hGhhh, again the d-deal!” His voice turned a pitch higher as he felt your hands squeezing his sides, whining quietly. Having you touch him so intimately sure was something new. Without any hints of sadness, you explained your actions. He instantly understood what it meant for him, and he gulped loudly. Though he’d never admit it, anticipating and excitement filled him from the inside. He felt himself on the verge of cumming when he heard you whisper, “I surrender, you’ve won, alright? So, time to get to business♡.”
Needless to say, you two had a great time together.
By the end of the night, you’ve turned him into a complete stranger. Eyes rolled to the back of his head, little pleads for a break and fore more slipping past his previously foul mouth. Body twitching occasionally and limp from overworking himself, slumping down against your chest.But you weren’t quite done now, were you? All you had to do was change the position and command him to spread his legs. Of course your personal fuck toy would listen without hesitation, tongue hanging out as he eagerly waited for you to fuck him senseless. The once proud and snarky wind hashira has been reduced to a little slut. To your good boy.
#sub character#sub!character#dom reader#dom!reader#sub kny#sub demon slayer#sub kimetsu no yaiba#sub sanemi#sanemi shinazugawa#kny sanemi#sanemi shinaguzawa#kimetsu no yaiba sanemi#demon slayer sanemi#sanemi x reader#sanemi x you#sanemi smut#sanemi x y/n#sanemi kny#sanemi demon slayer#kny x reader#kny x y/n#kny x you#kny smut#demon slayer smut
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You guys ever think about how terrifying and violating this scene must have been for Chil? (analysis under cut)
I want you to put yourself in Chil’s shoes for a moment. You’re at minimum a head smaller than everyone in your party. The only combat skills you have are long range and mostly support, plus you don’t even have your gear right now. You’re balls deep in the dungeon. You’re starving. You just had a near death experience when your party did NOT have the means to revive you (nothing to replace calories. assuming the mimic beat you). And now the people you’re essentially stuck with are ganging up on you.
I get that this is played as a gag but. This is like. Real fear in his eyes. He’s actually scared. TERRIFIED. And rightfully so.
Here you have:
Senshi: The guy you just met who clearly doesn’t respect you or you autonomy not only suggesting to use your tools against your will, but he’s actively physically restraining you. Something that is known to be very demeaning for his entire race and especially to him.
Marcille: The girl you only met a couple of adventures ago who also kind of doesn’t respect you, like, at ALL who’s just sitting there watching.
And Laios: The ONE GUY HERE that even remotely respects you that you’ve just BARLEY started trusting, who is now betraying that trust by being the one to take your belongings and use them against your will. In front of you. After you told him to stop.
Like. Don’t get me wrong, the cutaway gag to this was funny, but that doesn’t change the actual disdain he’s feeling here. This is someone realizing he’s stuck with people he cannot trust in a situation far too dangerous for him to deal with on his own. There’s no respect for him. His autonomy. His belongings. Nothing. None of what he believed earlier is present. I don’t know if this was a contract breach or not, but it was a personal one for sure. I can only begin to imagine what’s running through his head right now, and how powerless he feels here to the mistreatment by people he doesn’t know and or JUST started warming up to.
Sure, he has a moment to justify it to himself here. Everyone’s tired. Hungry. They didn’t mean any harm by it, and in the end it was better for everyone, right? (Ignoring the fact that they could’ve de-shelled the mimic using Senshi’s wok but that’s neither here nor there I guess.) But deep down he knows that doesn’t really make it right. That doesn’t change the fact it wasn’t handled properly. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s not being respected at all in this decision. Not even being taken into account other than to be removed from the vote entirely.
And, at the end of it, you’re still being demeaned. Still being treated like a child who shouldn’t get a say. Your justified anger just being used against you to show how immature you’re being. The louder you yell to be taken seriously, the less seriously you’re taken.
Sure, everything works out in the end. He’s made some of the best friends he’ll ever have in his whole life, but here? Now? Chilchuck is alone. Isolated from anyone he could go to. Trapped, used, disregarded, and more closed off than he’s been in a very long time. Because he was actually starting to trust the people around him again. And for what? It just happened again.
#chilchuck#chilchuck tims#chilchuk dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#analysis#metaposting#you can tell i put time into this one cause there’s proper grammar and punctuation lol#also MAN this one’s been on my mind for a while now#took forever to finally be able to articulate it lol
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Can you please write enemies to lovers with Oscar where him and reader accidentally get locked up in a room? And somehow they end up confessing their true feelings for each other
♡ navigation / request info / f1 masterlist
♡ warnings: none
♡ a/n: thanks for the request! i had a different idea at first but i'm happy with how it turned out.
You and Oscar have been enemies for 3 years now. You two got into a fight and then never talked to each other again.
“Lando Norris! Let us the fuck out!” you yelled, knocking on the door as soon as he locked it. Lando knew there was something unresolved between you two and he made it his mission to help you get together. “Fix it!” was the only answer you got.
You felt the anger rushing through your body. You two had been best friends before but now Oscar was just someone who didn't care about you. He just stood there, leaning against the wall, looking down, not wanting to make eye contact with you. He felt guilty for what he did. He could hear the anger in your voice as you yelled for Lando. Oscar couldn't blame you, you had your reasons.
After you heard Lando walk off, you sat at the floor, leaning against the wall. Defeated. You didn’t look at Oscar, you acted like he wasn’t there - a few meters from you. You glanced and saw him sit next to you, leaving some space in between. The two of you were silent for a few minutes as memories of his ex-girlfriend and the fight that led to the end of their friendship flooded your minds again.
He slowly looked up at you, still feeling a bit scared of seeing your face, but he finally gathered the courage to meet your eyes. “What changed?" He whispered, almost pleading. He wanted to know what he did wrong, what made you hate him so much. “The way you treated me” you replied in a cold tone. Oscar could feel a lump forming in his throat. He knew exactly what you were talking about and it made him even more guilty. "But... But I-I was just-" He stumbled over his words, desperately trying to justify himself but he knew he couldn’t.
He took a deep breath. "I was young, I was stupid. I thought she was the one, I thought you were just holding me back..."
“Listen, you know, I didn't like her but I never said anything. You were happy, I wasn't complaining. I never said anything about her or against her" you said, glancing at him but quickly returning your gaze to the wall in front of you.
Meanwhile, Oscar could remember that day like it was yesterday. It was a few months into his relationship with his girlfriend, and things were going well, or at least he thought so. Until one day she said "Oscar, you need to stop talking to her. She's holding you back, she's bad for you”. The words that he couldn’t believe but repeated in his mind a thousand of times. After a conversation with his girlfriend, Oscar was conflicted. He was torn between his loyalty to you and his desire to please his girlfriend.
Finally, after days of going back and forth, he decided to listen to her. One day, he found you alone. "Hey... Can we talk?" he looked nervous, unable to look you in the eye. “Yeah, of course. What's up? You don't look good". Oscar tried to remain calm “It's just that... I need to focus on my career right now. And you're distracting me. I can't keep doing this” he said, feeling like a jerk even as the words were leaving his mouth. He kept avoiding your gaze. "Oscar, What the hell are you talking about? We have known each other since we were fourteen.” you reminded him, not believing what you were hearing. "I know, but... things have changed now. I need to set some priorities”.
He never told you his girlfriend stood behind this. He was too ashamed of himself, too guilty. You weren’t stupid - you quickly figured out what was going on. By the time the couple broke up, you and Oscar silently became enemies - avoiding each other at all times.
Oscar could still remember the pain on your face when he ended your friendship, and the pain he felt himself. He glanced at you sitting next to him, wondering if you truly hated him now. He could see you with an empty look on your face, silent tears rolling down your cheeks, as you stared at the ground. He felt like a douchebag for causing you so much pain. He wished he could take it all back, erase the last three years.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” you heard his quiet voice next to you. He shamelessly stared at you, waiting for a reaction. For anything. "Please... Say something. Yell at me, hit me, whatever. Just say something”. You sadly chuckled at his words “I wouldn’t hit you”. Oscar couldn't help but crack a small smile at your response.
"Remember that one time you hit a boy? When was it? In high school?" you said trying to lighten the mood. "Yeah, I remember that. It was in senior year. Some guy was being really persistent with you, and I couldn't stand it anymore”. A boy had been relentlessly flirting with you, despite you clearly being uncomfortable. And Oscar, being the protective friend he was, had lost it. “His name was Jake,” you said. "Right, Jake." Oscar recalled the memory. Jake had been one of those popular guys in high school who thought he could get any girl he wanted. And for some reason, he had set his sights on you.
"He kept trying to talk to you, touch you, and when you tried to walk away, he grabbed your arm”. The room felt silent again “Yeah, I was jealous. I guess I couldn't stand the thought of someone else being so close to you. It made me sick”. You didn’t say anything and moved closer to him, closing the gap between you. As you both sat on the floor you rested your head on his shoulder. That’s the closest the two of you have been for three years.
"You know, I was happy you hit him. It made me feel good, like I was being cared for". The two of you stared at the wall ahead of you. "I... I've always cared for you. More than you probably realized. I guess I just didn't know how to show it." He paused for a moment, gathering his courage to say more. "I-I love you. I always have”. "I love you too, Osc. More than you know" you said squeezing his hand.
Oscar's heart skips a beat when you squeeze his hand and say you love him too. He couldn't believe this was happening. He quickly wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a tight embrace, not wanting to let go.
The sound of the door opening interrupted you. Lando walks in “God, I thought you killed each other”. Oscar reluctantly lets go of you, still feeling a bit annoyed by Lando’s behaviour. He gives Lando a glare “Very funny”. Your friend pointed a finger at you “You two should be thanking me”.
04/09/24
#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri#oscar piastri x reader
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^^ Hello, how are you. Idk if this is the right place to send a request since I’m new to tumblr lol. I would like to make a request though it may seem a little weird. May I request Miguel O’Hara/Fem Spider-barbie reader. Reader’s outgoing and cheerful she has the aesthetic of a Barbie and gets along with other spiders, she’s not actual barbie doll btw lol. Miguel could be yelling and giving other spiders a hard time but whenever Spider Barbie’s around he’s the complete opposite. Spider barbie always helps calm him down whenever he loses his temper. Maybe one day he’s stressed and angry over a mission so spider barbie decides to calm him down with a back massage. Could also lead to some smut, only if you’re okay with writing that. No pressure. Thanks! ^^
miguel o'hara stars in... 'HI BARBIE! HI KEN!' ヽ(>∀<☆)
a/n ~ first request!!1!! i'm doing great, thank you so much. this isn’t weird at all- i spent all day writing this, it's so cute!! i had margot robbie's cowgirl fit in mind for reader when i was writing this, she's so beautiful omg, i think it suits spider-barbie's vibe really well💕 went a bit heavy with the smut but miguel's hot so it's valid- enjoy my love!
summary; miguel gets some stress relief from his favourite barbie girl.
pairing; miguel o’hara x fem!spider-barbie!reader
wc; 2.3k +
cw; SMUT!!, pining, oral sex, dry humping, facial, throat/face-fuckin, soft?dom!miguel, sub!reader, he's a lil mean but he loves you, praise kink, worshiping, hair pulling, miguel shouts at some people, f!masturbation, squirtinnn, miguel being sexy, NOT PROOFREAD!! i have a headache
“and you didn’t think to fucking report it to me?” miguel was seething, talons digging stripes into his desk as he glared down at the poor recruits below him. yes, they were new, but they fucked up an important mission- he wasn’t about to go easy on them.
“por el amor de dios, do you three have any idea how serious this is? you could’ve-“ the spiders looked at each other, eyes of their masks comically wide as the drown out miguel’s rants to try and come up with some sort of excuse to justify the failed mission. “-and don’t even think about coming up with some bullshit excuse.”
they froze, shaking their heads and hands rapidly as they nervously stuttered out, ‘no, of course not’, and, ‘we would never, boss’- miguel’s disapproving gaze boring holes into their masks, he jumps off the platform and stalks up to them. menacingly looming over them as his eyes flash red, lips pulled up in a snarl as his sharp fangs poke out under his top lip.
“don’t let this happen again, cause i swear i’ll-”suddenly, the doors of his lab slide open, a cheery voice ringing through the spacious room as all eyes flit towards the pink figure strutting in. the recruits blush under their masks, hearts beating rapidly at the sight of the sparkly spider- known across the spiderverse as the most perfect spider, spider barbie.
“miguel? i brought you some lunch! oh- hi guys! sorry i didn’t mean to interrupt, i’m y/n, by the way.” you flash them a bright smile, glossy, plump lips glistening under the lights as you hold up the bag of food- the spiders wave frantically, greeting you with unmatched enthusiasm. miguel’s breath hitches at the sight of you, masking it with a roll of his eyes as he looks down at you- eyes softer compared to the harshness they had when looking at the recruits.
“it’s fine, y/n, we were done here anyway.” that was their cue to leave, the newbies scrambling to get out of the room, feeling the tension rising, but not without sending you shy smiles and whispered goodbyes you reciprocate with angelic kindness. miguel watches you intently, eyes locked on your every move. his eyes trail down the hot pink set you wore, the fat of your tits spilling out the tight top, curvy hips accentuated by the tightness of your flares - fuck, you are perfect.
he lets out a heavy sigh, his bulking frame towering over you as he takes the bag gently from your pretty hands, making sure to brush over them slightly. “what’d you get me this time, hm? empanadas again?” he has a crooked smirk on his lips as he opens the bag, his eyes still trained on you as you sit on the counter, the prettiest smile on your face. “actually, i got you some sushi this time. thought i should surprise you a little.”
he allows himself to smile, the tension in his face easing in your presence. “yeah? how’d y’know i’d like sushi? you keeping tabs on me?” you giggle, stealing a piece of sushi from the platter. “wouldn’t you like to know. i asked lyla, actually, she’s very helpful.” his eyebrow raises, glancing over at the glowing hologram who appears to be lounging by the monitors, a small smile on her face hidden by a small magazine.
“right, guess i’m gonna have to install a ‘keep your fuckin’ mouth shut’ feature now.” he mutters, secretly enjoying the thought of you knowing things about him he wouldn’t dare to tell anyone if they asked, relishing in the thread of connection you two share. you stand, moving around him to stand behind him, stretching up to grip his shoulders.
“you ok, miguel? you seemed upset earlier.” you whisper in his ear, hands running down his arms innocently. he doesn’t think so though, the soft touch of your hands compared to his firm muscles igniting a tingling feeling in his belly - a soft groan leaving his parted lips as he leans into your touch. “‘m fine, the new recruits just pissed me off. nothin’ f’r you to worry ‘bout, pretty.” you smile slightly as he lets the pet name slip out, your hands running more sensually around his upper body, dipping into the crevices and curves of his chiseled body.
“let me at least help you feel better, mig, your shoulders are tense as fuck.” you smirk playfully, leaning round his body to peer up at his face, eyes widening as you take him in. his eyes were slightly hooded, wetted lips open in pleasure, a faint tinge of red on his face. he looks down at you, panting softly as he sucks in a deep breath, nodding silently as he allows you to lead him wherever.
gently grasping his hand in yours, you lead him towards his large chair, sitting him down as you slide yourself in his lap. miguel’s head races with all sorts of thoughts, the tell tale sign of his arousal pressing against the crotch of your sparkling pants, his hands subtly moving you down to ease the ache in his lap. your lips pull into a empathetic pout, hands moving gracefully along the taut muscles of his shoulder blades, moving down to the ridges of his abs.
“how’s this feel? am i doing good?” the sweet tone in which you speak has him biting back a growl, his cock throbbing as he moves subtly against the plush folds of your cunt through the fabric. “ ‘s great, your- shit- your hands feel amazing, love. jus’…keep doing that, yeah?” you nod, biting your lip softly as you keep up your soft caresses. his head falls back against the chair, eyes closed in bliss- he looks so unbelievably handsome, sculpted jawline, high cheekbones, he’s just so mmh.
you couldn’t help yourself, not when he was practically offering you a taste of him. his thick neck, littered with veins of various sizes, laid bare for you. you slowly moved in, small breaths warming the skin of his neck, heart pumping and hands trembling slightly. your glossy lips press light kisses on the flesh, shiny, pink, marks left behind. one hand moves up to rest on his chest as you feel a surge of boldness rush through you, leaning in once again to suckle on his skin.
his eyes flit open, gazing down at you as you mark his neck with deep red and purple bruises, his hand lazily running up your spine as he grinds into you just a little harder. “hm? what happened to givin’ me a massage?” he flashes you a sexy grin, tilting his head at your ministrations- not that he minds of course. you don’t respond, only small moans and whimpers leaving your lips as you continue to suck on his skin. his hand moves down to your chin, lifting your flushed face to meet his. “thought you were supposed to be makin’ me feel better? i can feel that pretty pussy soaking through y’r jeans, love. this turnin’ you on?”
you nod, your beautiful face betraying your need for him. he lets out a deep chuckle, hands caressing your hips as he moves you to grind against him, the thin fabrics of both of your clothes letting you feel the engorged tip of his cock brushing against your clit. he breathes out a stuttered moan, gritting his teeth as he stares into your eyes, how could someone be so fuckin’ perfect? you had to have been made to torture him, to make his heart race and cock hard to every time he’s around you- hell, every time he thinks about you.
“miguel…” your whining snaps him out of his thoughts, his focus immediately zeroes back onto you. he pulls you closer, resting you against his bulky chest. “yeah? what’s up, baby? what d’you want?” his thumbs caress your nipples through the fabric of your top, the rough pads of his fingers making your pussy clench tightly, slick coating your puffy folds. you look up at him, hands pulling at the thin fabric of his suit. “i still wanna make you feel better…can-can i suck you off, please?”
has he died? has miguel died and gone to heaven? or was this some kind of fucked up hell, there was no way he was hearing correctly. you, the sweet, innocent, barbie-esque, spider he’s been silently pining over for months now is asking him, so cutely, to suck his cock. he doesn’t think he’s been as eager to say yes to anything as he was now. he clicks a button on his wrist, his suit glitching away at his crotch. his cock is so pretty. a trail of dark hair leading down his navel, the tip a deep red, the rest tanned, throbbing veins wrapping around his length. it was fat, and shit, it was long too- pre dripping down the side of it as it, twitching the longer you stared at it.
your mouth waters, tongue darting out to lick your lips. your nimble hands wrap around his cock, a small gasp rings out in the room as your thumb runs along his tip, collecting the wetness and rubbing it around the tip. his fangs dig into his lips, speckles of blood pooling underneath the sharp tip. he sinks deeper into the chair, his suit dissipating more to reveal his thick thighs, a large hand coming to rest against one, the other caressing your cheek softly. “gonna wrap those pretty lips around me, baby? ‘m so hard, need you to make me feel better.” he didn’t expect to hear how needy he sounded, but he wasn’t embarrassed, he’s finally got you- and he wants you to know how badly he needs you.
he guides your head towards his aching cock, a hand moving to grip your hair tightly. he angles his length towards your shimmering lips, rubbing the tip all over, smearing his pre-cum along your gloss. a low, rumbling hum reverberates through his chest, quiet curses leaving his lips. he finally forces the fat head of his cock through your lips, simultaneously pushing your head down along the length of his cock. the sounds of you gagging fills his chest with a sense of pride, forcing you to take all of his thickness. it was so, so messy. saliva and creamy strips of cum dripped down the side of his cock, wetting your lips and pooling on top of his balls. he smiles at the sight, head lolling to the side, resting against a hard shoulder.
“my pretty girl, can’t believe ‘m finally havin’ you like this. i- mm i would worship you, if you’d let me. you’re so fuckin’ beautiful, baby, a walkin’ goddess. and your lips, fuck, those perfect lips.” his mind is all scrambled, the feeling of you sucking the soul out of him rendering him a blubbering mess, resulting in him pouring his heart out to you. smiling around his cock, you look up him, those sexy eyes of yours gazing into his- a silent reciprocation of his affection towards you. at that, your lips suction around him faster, tighter, coaxing him into filling your mouth with his load.
his breathing deepens, sweaty chest heaving. at this point, his suit is gone. he doesn’t bother hold back his moans, deep growls and grunts that make curious spiders stop and listen in as they pass his lab, opting to not investigate what the big boss is up to further. but you, you’re a fuckin’ sight between his legs. mascara running down your hot cheeks, gloss, spit, and cum on your chin, running down your neck and between your cleavage. he didn’t think you could get even more beautiful, but here you were.
“i’m ‘bout to cum, yeah? gonna fill that perfect mouth of y’rs with my all my cum, ‘n you’re gonna swallow it like the good girl i know you are, ok baby?” his hips buck frantically into your salacious mouth, holding the back of your neck tightly to keep you anchored at the base of his cock, the tip of his cock bumping against the back of your throat. his actions betrayed his sweet words, hands gently running over your face, wiping away stray tears as his cock abuses your poor throat. he catches a glimpse of you sliding a hand down the front of your pants, pushing aside your panties to rub against your sticky clit.
‘so cute’. he smiles, revelling in your soft whimpers and your shaky thighs- the squelch of the three fingers you plunged into you almost drowning out the slick gluck! gluck! gluck! of your throat. “fuck, baby, i can hear her from here. she’s so wet just from suckin’ me off, isn’t she?” your fingers speed up, his voice a sexy, deep drawl- lips quirked back up in a smirk, but it was short lived as he felt his balls tighten, orgasm threatening to take over him.
his leg bounces, your mouth was just so wet, so fuckin’ hot- he couldn’t take it anymore. he’s waited so long to feel you around him, to see you take him so beautifully. his body tenses, a low growl of your name leaving his plump lips. his cum spurts out in steady streams, your cheeks puffing out from the sheer amount he unloads into your mouth. it drips out the side of your lips, you struggle to hold it all in, letting it drip down your neck.
you choke on the liquid in your mouth, your orgasm squirting out onto the cold floor of his lab. he laughs breathlessly, he was so whipped for you. watching his pretty, little, angel cum so perfectly for him. his cock lets out a few more spurts on your cheeks, twitching again when you struggle to swallow his load down. he wipes away the cum on your cheeks, dipping his thumb back into your mouth to let you lick the remnants off. he smiles softly, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you back onto his lap, running hands up and down your back lovingly.
“s-so, d’you feel better now?”
“mm, think there’s just one more thing i need. spread your legs f’r me, baby.”
*por el amor de dios - for the love of god
-gonna take a cold shower now
#miguel x reader#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara smut#miguel o'hara#astv miguel#cheonstapes#cheonstapes-films!🪷#cheonsshowreals 🤍
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HELP ME HOLD ONTO YOU / WE WILL NEVER GO BACK
katsuki bakugou x reader
after the war, katsuki still deals with the trauma and the hurt. in a moment of what he thinks is weakness, you help him through a panic attack.
based on a convo i had with @suksatoru ❄️
inspired by the archer + the great war
after the war, he’s seen cruelty. he knows it well.
his knuckles were bruised like violets, long after his injuries healed and his blood stopped escaping him. the flashes of the battle still came back to him in hazy blurs. he’s got a hundred thrown out speeches, things he could still say but doesn’t.
he was now the #1 hero. he married you and became one of the most well-respected men in the country. he survived the war. but he still feels like the hero in him, maybe just a small part, died alongside those undeserving villains.
he’s getting old, and he knows what it feels like to be on both sides. he’s been the archer, and he’s been the prey. he survived, but now more eyes were on him. he could survive the battle, but now, he wasn’t sure if he could survive ever knowing if he’ll live up to what he’s made out to be.
the great, mighty explosion king katsuki bakugou actually had doubts about himself.
and he can't thank you enough for being there for him. things have been insanely stressful lately. theres been more crime and more unrest, and he feels like he's going to go insane from sheer exhaustion. the room is on fire, but only for him. theres invisible smoke only he can see. where everyone sees a strong, selfless hero, katsuki sees a soldier returning only half his weight.
right now, he’s pacing like a ghost. he’s just gotten home and somehow, all the oxygen has been swept from his lungs. he feels his knees get weak as he tried to make sense of it all- the bloodshed and those crimson clovers. if he survived, why did he feel like punishing himself for things he never did? why was he justifying it?
he hates his reflection. he has for years. all of his heroes, everyone he’s believed in has died, all alone and away from him. apart of him is waiting for that dark side, that sign that he isn’t actually alright here.
he sinks down on the couch, defeated. he doesn’t even realize he’s crying.
not until you gently cup his face, and wipe away his tears.
he blinks, breathing still ragged. he acknowledges that you’re there but can’t make out anything. his vision is blurred with salt streams.
the sound of your voice, asking him whats wrong, barely registers in his mind. his red eyes search to find you, and you can see that pain. he’s hurt. he’s wounded. and he’s pretending that he isn’t.
“breathe.” you whisper. he honestly expects you to yell, to slap him back to reality. but you don’t. you hush him to safety. “breathe, katsuki.”
he tries to follow your instruction, focusing on his breathing. he tries to ruminate on the feeling of your hands gently rubbing his back, or the subtle weight in his lap, and the feeling of your hair against his skin. but god dammit, it's hard.
he’s struggling to keep his breathing regulated, taking short, shaky breaths, as he continues to hold onto you.
you take his hand, and place it over your beating heart. somewhere in the haze, you’re helping him hold onto you.
and he feels it. the steady, reassuring beats of your heart. the rhythm of blood pumping through your veins. he takes in the feeling, letting it wash over his senses. he can slowly feel the panic start to subside, his breaths coming out more regularly, at least for a moment. he can still faintly feel his heart pounding against his chest, and his breaths stuttering every now and again. he’s terrified that at any moment, the panic will take over again. he never wants to go back to that.
you take his face in your hands, making sure he’s listening. “nod if you can understand me.”
he nods, trying to focus on your words. the feeling of your hand on his face, and the touch of your forehead against his- it's grounding him. its helping him to calm down, and he's so fucking grateful for that. even though his legs are shaking, and he's still holding onto you desperately, he nods, letting you know that he's still conscious. he wasn’t gonna let this win. he was stronger than it. you made him stronger.
“feel around… you’re on the couch, your feet are on the ground. your hand is over my heart. you’re safe, katsuki.” you whisper.
he does as he's told. he feels the soft fabric of the couch under him. his feet and legs firmly planted on the ground, and can feel the warmth of your heart through your chest, and the way it's beating so steadily. he’s safe. he’s home. he’s with you.
you reassure him more, telling him he’s doing so good. and he is, evident by the way his breathing steadies down. after a few more minutes, his eyes blink open. and you couldn’t be happier.
“you back with me, kats?” you softly smile, seeing his red eyes lose their tears.
he sighs, burying his head into your shoulder. “yeah. i’m here.”
he’s embarrassed.
you stroke the back of his neck, letting him rest on you. he’s tired, and he’s scared. you know you have to address what caused this, but for now, you give him this grace of silence.
“do you wanna talk about it?” you whisper.
suddenly, the war turned into something much bigger. it wasn’t a just a battle, it was something that stayed with him for years. somewhere in the haze, he’s scared of betrayal. that soon, everyone will see through him. even he sees right through him.
“i don’t know where to start.” he quietly groans.
you nod, understanding. “just… tell me whats on your mind.”
he swallows again, his mind still fuzzy, trying to figure out what to say. theres just so much that he’s thinking about right now, but he knows he needs to tell you. he can’t keep bottling it all up. so after a few deep breaths, he finally speaks up.
"….i’m exhausted, babe.” he sighs, like he’s confessing to a crime. “everything’s been so goddamn stressful lately. work has been insane, and… i just feel like i can't catch a break. i just… i wish i had more time away from it. to just… i don't know. decompress."
it doesn’t fully articulate everything he’s feeling, but it does give you a good idea of where this is all coming from.
you sigh, stroking his cheek and pointing out the one thing he’s afraid to admit to himself.
“katsuki, you have trauma.” you say. “the war left its marks on you. you can’t just expect it all to go back to normal.”
he feels like he’s down in icy ground. he doesn’t want to admit how much its hurt him- but it has. all the kings horses and all the kings men couldn’t put him together again.
“…i didn’t think i’d survive this long.” he whisper. and it breaks your heart.
he’s unable to take back those words. it’s true. he didn’t think he would survive the war. he didn’t think he was going to make it out, and that’s exactly what he’d mentally prepared himself for. and now that he’s here, and the war is over…
he’s struggling to cope with that fact. he feels lost, unsure of how to deal with surviving.
“you survived.” you whisper. “you survived but now you’re at war with yourself.”
he nods slowly. that perfectly sums up his feelings. heMs not fighting villains anymore, but that doesn’t stop the war from going on inside of him.
he’s fighting the memories. the nightmares. the constant pressure of being a hero. the constant pressure of living up to everyone’s expectations.
and he’s scared he’ll lose that fight.
“the war took apart of you you’ll never get back.” you whisper. “but… healing isn’t about becoming the person you were before. its about accepting you’ll never fully understand it, and maybe never fully be okay with it.”
katsuki bites down on his bottom lip, your words sinking in his mind. that’s something he’s been struggling to accept for a while now- that he won’t ever just be the person he was before all of this. something about him has changed. permanently.
he nods slowly, your words slowly and gradually beginning to make him feel a little better. it’s so reassuring, having you there with him right now.
“you are a hero, and you are #1. that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to hurt. it happened to you and it hurt you. you’ll never heal if you pretend you weren’t wounded.” you whisper again. “just because you carry it well doesn’t mean its not heavy.”
your words hit him straight in the heart. you’re absolutely right. he’s never really stopped to consider that he doesn’t have to pretend to be strong, or that it’s okay to let those walls come down, even a little. he’s allowed to be vulnerable. he’s allowed to be hurt by what happened to him.
“i… i keep feeling like i’m constantly on that damn battlefield. i keep seeing it every time i’m alone. and i just… i haven’t slept properly in days.”
you nod, understanding.
“you aren’t your worst days. you aren’t what happened to you.” you remind him. honestly, he’s needed that reminder.
he hugs you tighter, like you’re the one thing keeping him afloat right now. he wonders who could possibly stay with him, let alone love him like you do.
“they ripped your heart out of your chest. no one gets to decide how much you bleed.” you tell him. because you see how much he’s trying to force the wound closed, burning himself and only worsening his pain. he hasn’t healed because he’s too scared of the hurt.
“…you really mean that?” he says, red eyes searching for lies.
he finds none, even as you nod and tell him you mean every word.
he isn’t sure what to say anymore. so when words fail, he cups your face and pressed two gentle kisses to your forehead. he survived the war, and now he will always be yours.
“i love you.” he whispers. “so damn much, idiot.”
you smile, his usual asshole-self back on the table. your arms throw around him, hugging him even tighter.
he realizes then that you could, and you will stay.
#bakugou fanfiction#bakugou katsuki x reader#katsuki bakugou x reader#bakugo katuski#mha bakugou#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bakugou katsuki#mha bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugo fluff#katsuki x reader#bnha katsuki#bnha bakugo katsuki#katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo mha#mha x y/n#mha x gender neutral reader#mha x you#mha x reader#bnha x y/n#bnha x fem!reader#bnha x self insert#bnha x gender neutral reader#bnha x you#bnha x reader#bnha fanfic#bnha fanfiction#mha fanfic#mha fanfiction
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SVSSS fanfic that I will never write-
LBH post canon accidently goes back in time. How? I don’t know, it isn’t important. If I had to pick a stupid reason, then in PIDW had a storyline where LBH went back in time to a wife’s past to like… learn more about her? To help her in the trauma? IDK but what I do know is that Peerless Cucumber would have ranged for hours about Airplane adding in the concept of time travel and then doing nothing else’s with it.
And guess who the subject of the wife plot is now??? That’s right- SQQ. Except the wife plot took the body and not the soul, and now Binghe is back during SJ’s disciple days.
LBH somehow, as the main character, manages to convince the peak lords of the time that he’s of Qing Jing! He is, really! He really laid on the charm here.
Previous Sect leader: I don’t know if I believe you, but since you look like such a polite young man-
LBH gets escorted away to a room by the head disciple. And who is the head disciple of the sect leader peak??? It’s Yue Qi, sad and depressed and lifeless because LBH managed to find himself in the period of time where YQY thinks SJ is dead!
LBH: I want to meet my young Shizun. Shen Qingqiu- Shen Jiu I think now?
YQY: …. Xiao Jiu is dead?
LBH: Maybe in the future for like five years but not right now!! He’s my super awesome Shizun! …. Do you want to drop everything to go look for him?
YQY: Oh boy, do I!!!
So the two bounce from the sect with no warning, looking Shen Jiu. Luckily, now knowing that he is alive and didn’t die in the fire, it’s pretty easy to follow the line of gossip that follows WY and SJ. And of course, the entire time, LBH is praising his Shizun.
Now, he hasn’t said that he was married to his Shizun. He didn’t want to spoil that just yet! He’ll reveal that to his younger Shizun himself when they find him. But until then, he can still tell YQY how awesome his Shizun is, and how nice, and how close he was to SQH and LQG and even to YQY himself! (That last one was a bit of a fib, of course. SQQ was always a little uncomfortable around the sect leader. But YQY was eating all of this up, being so happy that his childhood friend was so happy and well liked, and well…. It was only a small fib)
They finally catches up with them, and quickly dealing with the other guy, YQY and SJ have a nice reunion, having both think the other was dead! And of course, it was incredibly clear that YQY had been looking for SJ this whole time, which does wonders for his abandonment issues. SJ may yell at YQY for leaving the sect so suddenly and risking everything just for him, but on the inside, he is bursting for joy, trust me.
LBH is not bursting for joy. Like, at all. He had been so excited to see his Shizun but young and now that he’s here…. Something inside of him and screaming that this wasn’t his Shizun.
He had no reason to believe that. This was very clearly SQQ at 14~. But of course, he’s the 200 IQ protagonist and figures it out quickly that his wonderful Shizun/husband took over his body when LBH was 14 and that this was his shitty Shizun that made his early years in the sect awful.
He’s fully ok with that. If his husband needs to possess another man to be with him, than who is LBH to judge? Only the best body for him! The problem is, of course, that he has spent the entire trip over ranting to YQY about how good of a teacher SQQ was to him, and now YQY is excitedly telling everything he said to SJ. LBH can’t just…. Back track now! That would be weird, and if they think that someone will possess SJ later, then what if his husband never shows up??
So he goes along with it. It isn’t hard- he doesn’t hate SJ, not like PIDW him would. He was only under him for three years~ and a lot of what happened to him was still being justified in his head. So it’s just… whatever, to him at that point. He confirms what YQY had been saying, spins a charismatic lie to the sect about why they left and how GREAT SJ will be as a disciple in the future, and then he leaves. Just, fades away in front of everyone.
And now this is SJ’s life. He thinks he’s a good Shizun in the future, even if he can’t stand kids. He think that he becomes friends with SQH and LQG, which is oddly hard to do?? LQG angrily wants to fight him every time he sees him, which is super annoying, and SJ is 88% sure that SQH is talking to demons but, you know. If another version of him managed to become their friend without future knowledge, then he has to do it now! He has a head start on the race here, no way is he losing it!
He does become friends with them, and is still incredibly close to YQY as they grow up. He’s still… him, but his major heart demons- the abandonment by his Qi-Ge and being unsafe even in the sect- aren’t there anymore. He even manages to be an ok Shizun to a young LBH, somehow. He’s pretty sure that he’s sucking at that, btw, because the little brat gets on his nerves when they are in the same room for more than five minutes, but he’s being mostly polite! He had to wonder what the other version of him did to get such a glowing review from the future version of his disciple, because it has to be more than this.
Ironically, because I think it’s funny, this is the timeline that our LBH finds himself back in. The time travel was always meant to be a stable one timeline kinda thing, so anything he changed in the past affected the future. I imagine in PIDW that LBG didn’t do much of anything but maybe comfort his future wife, for Airplane’s fear of making a confusing paradox for himself. But this Binghe? Oh no, he did so much!
Because he saved SJ some heart demons, and helped him make friends despite his trauma, he’s not as prone to Qi divinations! Which means that he didn’t have a fatal one when LBH was 14! Which means when LBH gets back to his time after all of that, he takes one look at his ‘Shizun’ and knows that this isn’t his husband. Which means that his husband never possessed SJ!
He’s horrified, and spends a whole day moping around the peak, trying to think of ways to fix this. He has just gotten himself worked up to go and do something drastic when NYY finds him.
NYY: There you are!! Shen-Shidi has been looking for you all day!
LBH: H-huh?
NYY: Why are you moping around, huh? Did you and Shen-Shidi have a fight? Don’t worry! He’s your husband, I know he’ll forgive you-!
LBH: WHAT.
And that’s how he learns that while he isn’t married to his Shizun in this timeline, he is married to his Shixiong, Shen Yuan! Shen Yuan, who got shoved in Willy nilly when the system realized that SJ wasn’t going to die when he was supposed to.
There’s probably some sequel where LBH has to fake that he has memories of what happened in this timeline, which I imagine is somewhat close to Svsss? The system was still running around, even if a major player has changed. And LBH would just be so bad at faking it in front of two people and two people only- SJ and SY.
SY: Binghe, don’t you remember our first date? :)
LBH: …It wasn’t the water prison!
SY: ….that statement is correct but also the wrong answer.
And
SJ: Beast, you’re not coming to this Immortal Convenance. Don’t you remember meber what happened last time?
LBH: …. You didn’t push me into the endless abyss?
SJ:… That statement is wrong and I was also going for the HHP tag alongs you obtained.
#svsss#svsss au#time travel#fanfic concept#luo binghe#shen yuan#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#yue qingyuan#liu qingge#shang qinghua#ning yingying
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Rainy Season - Part 4
All You Ever
Azriel reflects on his past mistake including the night with Elain. Cassian makes a huge mistake.
A/N: Before reading this chapter please know that I am not condoning cheating or the actions of Azriel or Elain. I do not feel sorry for either of them in any way. I simply enjoy adding a little complexity to the story and selfishly love sprinkling in chaos. Also this is not proofread, I’m exhausted.
And for cauldron’s sake, please just trust the process before yelling at me!!! This is just one chapter from the two biggest idiots involved, not the whole story.
Part 3 Part 5
Warnings: Not proofread, Alcohol, Language, Unintentional ingestion of an aphrodisiac leading to sex
Azriel
He may have been a fucking idiot but Azriel’s self-awareness was painfully acute. His scar riddled hands were forever tainted with the essence of blood that even her plush lips couldn’t kiss away, his angel mate. What a cruel joke the cauldron had played the day that bond snapped between them. She was resplendent in sun shrouded glory and he was the devil who dragged her down. Just selfish enough to ignore the warning bells that he’d one day fuck it all up, just selfish enough to pull her away from her home and covet her within the walls of Velaris. In the beginning, he’d fought so hard to deserve her though she’d never asked him to. She wanted only him and knew he was unworthy of her, he always had been. It was exhausting - the mask. Constantly trying to hide from her that dark, sadistic side of him that was everything opposite of what she was.
She saw through it, of course. She always had. All she wanted was him, all of him. Begging him to show her beyond the good of him at surface level, she wanted all of his self-proclaimed bad too. She’d told him that dozens of times over the years but dropping that mask meant unpacking so much - so much more ugly than even he was prepared to reveal to himself.
At some point he began to resent her and he knew it wasn’t fair. He resented his perfect, pure, untainted mate. Wasn’t it ironic that she’d shown him everything beneath her own surface numerous times, unveiled that she herself was not the Angel he placed her on a pedestal as. She’d shown him everything and he still viewed her through that near-holy lense.
If only he could have put his stubbornness, his self-loathing aside and realized she would have done the same for him. It was too late for that now.
And now I'm without you, and it took distance to see that losing you, means losing everything
————
Something had been wrong for a while. He ignored it assuming that perhaps it was a mental blockade erected by a combination of fatigue and work tensions. He’d slowly distanced himself from his mate. He knew it hurt her, it hurt him too. His intentions were genuine, sparing her the pain of his own inner turmoil by distancing himself while he worked through it. He was simultaneously aware that he was a fucking bastard for doing so, she deserved an explanation but he couldn’t give it to her yet. He justified it as the lesser of two evils.
Unsurprisingly, the mating bond is a fickle thing. As he distanced himself, a chasm of emptiness opened within him that he’d desperately tried to fill with missions and various courtly duties. Training with the Valkyries helped, being there for Elain through her own struggles….
He took his duty to help her seriously, though it technically was not a duty even assigned to him. A distraction. It was a distraction. Ever the spymaster he spent their initial time together observing her, the things that brought a little bit of life back to those once bright eyes.
He’d sun his wings while she gardened and read across from her in the study, little things so she’d know she wasn’t alone. Eventually she began talking again. At first just a comment here or there but then there was communication, getting to know each other, small talk eventually becoming deeper topics. He learned of her resentment of the choice she felt was ripped from her, left with no time to mourn the loss of her mortal life or consider the implications on her relationship with Graysen because of it.
Not to mention the shock that one of the faces she blamed for being damned to the cauldron, one of the first faces she saw coming out of it was her mate and she was just supposed to accept it? Over time, Elain became a friend. A bright spot to the numbness created by the self-imposed gap between he and his mate. His mate….
It had taken some time to realize that he wasn’t feeling her through the bond, when was the last time he’d felt her? It was becoming fainter and fainter, more faint than it even should be with distance. He’d send feelings to her on occasion. A little spark of joy when he saw a lovely sunset or the moments when his desire for his mate heated his blood so thoroughly he had no choice but to excuse himself for relief by his hand.
He needed her to know he cared, he desired her, he loved her. A little time and space to collect everything he needed to bring to the surface, to give her all of him. He left her feeling like she wasn’t enough but she was everything. He just needed space.
Until she gave him space.
The devastation on her face the day she asked him to leave. Gods, damn him and the hurtful things he’d said. They’d be ingrained in his mind for the rest of his days along with the sound of her sobs as she fell apart before him. He’d done that to his mate. He was responsible for those tears. All because he’d been too selfish and prideful to share all of himself with her.
So, he left. She’d allowed him so much space, he could give her this.
I wish I could love you and make you believe it. It’s all you ever wanted from me
———-
The night with Elain
He couldn’t make it through dinner sober. Rhys insisted everyone get together at the River House for a friendly night of debauchery. Pouring himself a double shot of whiskey, he considered telling Cassian to send Rhys his regards and hole up in the house of wind for the remainder of the night. It was either, go to dinner and deal with all of the questions of “Where is y/n?” and “Why isn’t y/n here?” or deal with Cassian’s well-intentioned but annoying attempts of pressuring him into going, followed by a pout when he’d stand his ground on staying in, and then the inevitable intrusion from Rhys inquiring why he wouldn’t come to dinner.
He loved his chosen family dearly but they were busybodies through and through. All he wanted was to pass the time until he saw his mate tomorrow.
Begrudgingly he threw back his glass, poured another double, then headed to the River House.
Time moved slowly when all there was to do was dwell.
What had happened? He flew slowly to the River House. Going out of his way to circle far overhead of his true home, where his mate was. Was she waiting for him inside? Was she in town? Why couldn’t he feel her? Silence. Just as it had been for months. But the emotions he’d seen in her, they were so real. Shouldn’t they have sparked something in the bond?
As Azriel approached the River House he’d come to the conclusion that tonight he’d inform Elain he’d no longer be able to visit with her as he had been. He’d neglected his mate for far too long, this past week had given him the clarity needed to go home and give his mate his all. He could slowly open up to her, he could do it.
He just needed to make it through the night.
The night went by as usual. Good food, laughter, flowing liquor. He heavily indulged himself in the liquor anything to numb the impatience in waiting for tomorrow.
Feyre and Rhys sat closely together on a lounge, Feyre leaning into him, staring up at him like the stars in the sky.
Cassian and Nesta spent the entire time making bedroom eyes at one another, Cassian whispering dirty promises into Nesta’s ear that made even the queen of smut herself blush, Nesta taking any opportunity to brush her body against his in passing.
Gods, they were so in love it made him sick.
“Home.” He told himself.
“Soon.”
As the evening wound down, Cassian insisted everyone do shots to close out the evening. He was drunk enough that he stumbled carrying in the tray of shots and let out a battle cry of victory over the fact that he managed to not spill any of the liquor.
Azriel should have flown back to the House of Wind a while ago but he needed to talk to Elain.
Nuala and Cerridwen had been on duty with Nyx for the evening, compensated well to work overnight in case he awoke, giving Rhys and Feyre the now rare opportunity to go out to Rita’s. Mor, of course, drug Emerie along and went with them. Given that Amren would rather stick pins in her eyes than go out, she and Varian opted to go back to her place.
Azriel should have gone there, gone back to the River House, gone home and slept in the doorway until his mate let him in.
But he was so drunk. There was no way he was flying anywhere tonight.
Cassian and Nesta brought out a final round of shots. Elain winced, scrunching her nose as she threw it back. Azriel thought she’d be able to take her liquor better by now. Cassian and Nesta waggled their eyebrows suggestively at eachother before throwing theirs back. And damn, if Azriel didn’t wince when he took his shot too. That shit was awful. Had they drank through all of Rhysand’s good liquor? Did Cassian dig this out from the bottom shelf?
Once Cassian and Nesta left for the House of Wind, Azriel took the empty glasses to the kitchen, cleaning up a few of the remaining dishes throughout the seating area on the way. He barely made it into the kitchen before his head began spinning. That last shot had done him in. He couldn’t even remember the time last he’d been blackout drunk. Two centuries ago, maybe?
He still needed to find Elain.
The stairs felt longer and far less steady than usual, taking him more time than he cared to admit to make it up them. His hands felt tingly on the banister and damn, it was hot in the River House. No, he touched his face, flushed and hot to the touch. He was hot.
The tingling was simultaneously uncomfortable and pleasurable, spreading over his body with haste as he neared closer to Elain’s room.
He caught a glimpse of her and her scent hit him like a ton of bricks. Had she always smelled this good?
His breathing increased, nostrils flaring as he took in her scent and fuck - he was hard. It was too late to not say anything now as she stared at him expectantly. The stars in his vision cleared and all he could see was her, zeroed in on her fluttering pulse, those delicate features.
He needed to leave.
He just needed to - shit, what had he come here to say?
Azriel’s shadows whirled reminding him of his mate. His mate. He needed to go to his mate.
He needed to tell Elain something. He couldn’t think straight.
“Elain…”
And that was when she lunged at him.
Well is it too late, and are you too far to turn around and let me be
——————————
Elain
There was nothing the Cauldron loved more than Elain Archeron.
There was nothing the Cauldron hated more than Elain Archeron.
A thin line between the two, really.
She’d spend the rest of her life groveling for what conspired on that night. She never intended to sleep with him. She never, ever intended to hurt Y/N.
She remembered drinking more than usual.
She remembered Azriel finding her in the hallway.
She remembered a sudden rush of warmth, first from her chest, seeping outward through her extremities, low into her stomach and lower, lower.
She remembered Azriel having something important to tell her. She could feel nothing but heat. Her heart racing, breath becoming rapid.
Azriel’s pupils were blown wide, his nostrils flaring. Like every single sense was hyper aware of her state. His arousal wafted through the air, his irresistible cedar and chilled mist scent clinging to her like an expensive cologne.
They were so very intoxicated.
They couldn’t do this. If she’d been sober and unaffected by whatever was running through her veins, she would have left. Immediately.
She wasn’t one to wreck a home and Azriel loved his mate so, so much. The way he talked about her, it made Elain jealous. Not of them, not of her. Only jealous that Elain herself had struggled so hard to feel anything toward her own mate for so long. Lucien who played a role in her loss of humanity, Lucien who would do anything to make it up to her, Lucien who never meant for it to happen, who tried so hard to help her, to connect with her, who wanted nothing more than to love her. Lucien.
Then why was it Azriel? Azriel who was standing in front of her clearly affected by her, trying his damndest not to be. Why was she so drawn to him? A mated male.
Was she sweating? It was so hot. Her breasts ached and her blood thrummed through her veins so voraciously that she was certain she’d bleed out at any minute. And if Azriel could see beneath her gown right now, he’d see how tightly her thighs were squeezed together. How desperately she needed release and by the tightness in his pants - she knew he was in the same state.
“Elain…” Azriel spoke. His breath ragged.
And all it took was her name rolling off of his lips for her to close the distance. One kiss. She just needed one kiss to remind herself that this was wrong. To run the other way.
And it only took one kiss to remind her how much the cauldron loved her. How much it hated her.
The moment when she felt the mating bond snap between her and Azriel.
The alcohol, the liquor, the heat, the bond. A lethal combination leading to the biggest mistake of her life.
The night she’d fucked Azriel.
She could never let him know about the bond.
—————————-
Elain woke up with a brutal headache. She would have killed for some headache power. Her room was dark, shadows deepening the onyx black of night as slivers of moonlight lined the edges of her curtains. Still nighttime, then.
Her surroundings slowly came into focus, awareness sharpening as a soft sound caught her attention. Swiftly she turned her head to find Azriel asleep on the other side of her bed.
Oh no.
Oh no, no, no, no, no.
This couldn’t have happened.
What had she done?
She threw on her dress and tip-toed out of the room in a state of panic. She was a sensible female. She knew too well the pain of losing Graysen, a human male, not her spouse, not her mate. But still, his rejection had hurt like hell. Elain would never sleep with another woman- female’s mate. No.
She paced through the library, back and forth, back and forth, praying she didn’t wake anyone up. The walls were closing in on her. This couldn’t be real. It couldn’t be.
Oh gods.
And the mating bond. How?
Her chest was tight, she couldn’t catch a full breath. She needed out.
Before she could stop herself, Elain fled into the empty street with no destination in mind. Anywhere but here, anywhere but the bed where she’d likely obliterated a marriage. She’d certainly obliterated her dignity.
The starlight illuminated streets of Velaris were endless, winding through alleys and lanes. In her panicked state, Elain had no clue where her feet were taking her as she blindly followed her gut. It wasn’t until she was in front of the door that she realized her heart had made its choice. It knew exactly who to go to, she only prayed it wasn’t too late.
She took a shaky inhale and raised a hand to knock but the door flew open revealing a shirtless Lucien, his bare, muscled chest heaving. “I felt you coming.” He gasped. “Through the bond.”
—————-
Azriel
The sun’s rays illuminated the edge of the curtains. Azriel’s stomach was tight, nausea from the previous night’s alcohol overwhelming him. His bed felt colder than usual, more stiff.
He looked around to find that he’d never left the River House. He was…
He was in Elain’s room.
“Oh, fuck!” He sobbed to himself as the previous night came pouring back to him. Setting his face in his palms, he cried. What the fuck had he done?
Azriel bathed, desperately scrubbing Elain off of him. By the time he was through, his skin was an angry red. He snuck out of the River House, flying to a grassy knoll high above Velaris. The spot where he and Y/N had first made love, where the bond snapped, where he’d proposed. He shifted uncomfortably as he tried to get comfortable, the unease settling in. It was blasphemy to desecrate such a sacred spot with his shame.
“What do I do now?” He asked aloud, the only response the whipping of the wind around him. He didn’t understand what had overcome him. He’d never been so “effected” before, even in his drunkest moments. Once Elain’s lips met his, his brain had shut down, nothing else mattered but the feel of skin on skin. His body needed release and acted on pure primal instinct.
And now, he had a decision to make. He could go home and lay it all out, slightly easing the guilt of holding in his greatest sin while completely and utterly destroying his mate.
Or, he could go home. Show his mate all of the love that he had been withholding for too long now, sweep her off her feet, take care of her and start opening up. Give her his all, even the ugly parts that he kept so deeply hidden.
Gods, she’d given him so many chances and he’d let her down at every turn. There were no excuses for the way he had treated her.
All she’d ever wanted was him, all of him, including those sides he’d never wanted her to see.
Now he could only go home and love her. Love her with everything he had and pray she believed it.
———————-
6 months after Y/N left
Azriel looked in a hallway mirror on his way to Rhysand’s study. Dark circles hallowed out his under eyes. The drink he’d had prior to flying down here did nothing to numb the violent ache within his heart. Would it ever quell? Would this puncture wound ever heal?
It wouldn’t. And he didn’t know if he wanted it to. He was a bastard and deserved every ounce of this isolated misery. Trapped in a prison of his own making. The ache in his chest a constant reminder of the love he’d squandered. And for what? A meaningless night with a pretty female. Had he not had enough of those nights in his life?
Not that Elain would speak to him. Though she had apologized, countless times. It didn’t matter. As far as he was concerned, he was the only one to blame. Occasionally he’d catch Lucien’s assessing glare, an infuriating blend of contempt and pity etched into his features. Azriel didn’t know which he hated more, he didn’t deserve pity.
Azriel’s skin had sallowed. Had he ever been this pale before? And the bargain tattoo on his arm. Fuck, he hated it. After his third attempt to infiltrate the Summer Court, Rhysand gave Azriel the option of a cell in the Hewn City or a bargain.
Ironically the bargain served as a prison of its own. He was not allowed to go anywhere near the Summer Court or communicate with Y/N in any way. The only method of communication he was able to find a loophole with was the tugs on the bond. He’d pull and pull, nothing.
If only he could try to explain, apologize, anything.
Breaking his gaze from the shell of a male in the mirror, Azriel stepped toward the study.
Cassian’s booming laugh barreled through the cracked open door.
“Trust me, Feyre will love it. I’m sure you guys could use a little spark at the end of the day. You’ll be rolling in the sheets all night.”
Rhys only chuckled.
Cassian continued, “Tastes nasty as hell though. Here’s an extra vial, just in case. The first time Nes and I tried it, it didn’t work. Not sure why.”
Azriel let out a huff, stepping into the study. Cassian and Rhys ceasing their conversation in his presence. They’d been painstakingly obvious in not talking about their mates or anything relationship related in front of him since his mate had left. He refused to speak to anyone about why she left, too embarrassed to admit to this bed of his own making. They knew it was his fault and that was all that mattered.
Azriel scowled. “You don’t have to stop talking about your mates just because I’m around.”
Cassian awkwardly raised his arm, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry brother. We just don’t want to make things harder for you than they have been.”
“Considerate.” Azriel sneered, jerking his head toward the vials. “What are those anyway?”
Cassian smirked, “Oh, just some aphrodisiac potions from a new apothecary in Velaris. Really powerful shit. Nes and I-“ Rhys elbowed Cassian. A warning to not take the conversation too far. They could talk of their happy relationships without absolutely rubbing Azriel’s face in it.
Cassian quieted for a moment before continuing. “It tastes gods awful but the payoff is totally worth it. Remember those shots we took after everyone left dinner several months ago? We mixed it into Nes and I’s glasses and didn’t notice the taste. Didn’t work either though. Must’ve been a dud. Lady at the shop gave us a replacement vial the next time we were in and…. well, let’s just say we keep it in stock at the House of Wind now.”
Azriel went preternaturally still. His shadows growing angry as he ground out, “The night you two did a parting shot with me and Elain?”
“Uh…… yeah?” Cassian replied.
And before Cassian could realize what he’d done, Azriel pummeled him. Hauling him out the study doors and onto the lawn, not even making it to the sparring ring before his fists met Cassian’s face - the two Illyrians disappearing into a frenzy of fists and feet and glowing siphons.
The only sound over the impact of their hits and feral growls was Cassian’s confused, booming voice. “What the FUCK, Az!?”
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A/N: I am sorry for giving you an entire chapter of Azriel and Elain content but I will make it up to you with fluffy Eris and reader content in the next chapter!!!
@going-through-shit @kalulakunundrum @lisanna2000 @fxckmiup @sheblogs @emryb @one-big-fangirl @historygeekqueen @isa1b2h3 @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @theravenphoenix26 @sidthedollface2 @i-am-infinite @caraaaaugh @evergreenlark @darkbloodsly @piceous21 @anxious-study @chessebookgirl @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @crazylokonugget @mysticalfuncollectorus @starsinyourseyes @b0xerdancer-writes @inloveallthetime
#sarah j maas#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#azriel#a court of silver flames#a court of frost and starlight#a court of mist and fury#a court of wings and ruin#azriel shadowsinger#azriel x reader#eventual Eris x reader#Elain#Cassian#Nesta#nessian#acotar x hunter hayes#inspired by a Hunter hayes song#all you ever#rainy season
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hi gorgeous!! The way you write james has me thinking non stop about him for days (i need him fr) so on that note, can i please get a request where reader gets jealous for some reason and he doesn’t notice at first cause he only has eyes for her but she kind of gets clingier and a little grumpy so he talks to her and just lots of fluff and cuddles? Thank you <3
thank youu! comments like that make me want to be writing all the time really hope you like it!! sorry i got a little carried away length-wise
a confession among friends: getting called my boyfriend's sister actually happened to me once and i was soo pissed lmao
pairing: James Potter x reader word count: 4.1k (not completely proofread)
Boy-friend
You weren’t much in the mood for a party. No matter how many times Sirius clarified that it was only a “get together,” it was a party. Still, James had wanted to come, and there’d been plenty of times he’d come out because you were the one who felt like it, so you were happy to try to make the most of it.
James comes up behind you now, surprising you and tickling you with no warning. You break out in full laughter but contort to smack him away.
“Stop! stop!” you half laugh, half yell.
“Alright, shortcake, but if I catch you looking grumpy again, you’re gonna get it,” he replies cheekily, giving you a playfully accusatory squint. “Shortcake” wasn’t your favourite of his nicknames, but it had stuck after one night the boys had had way too much to drink and way too much fun making fun of you for being the shortest of the group, not bothering with your contention that it wasn’t fair since you were the only girl.
“I was not looking grumpy.”
“Given I’m the one who could see what you looked like, not you, I think my word counts for more here.”
“What are you two on about?” Sirius interrupts, wrapping an arm around James’s shoulders in their typically brotherly way.
“Was or was she not looking grumpy just now?” James asks.
“Was,” Sirius nods affirmatively.
“Whatever, you losers,” you roll your eyes at them. “Anyway, if I’m looking bored” — you glare at them before either corrects your word choice — “I feel justified in blaming the host of the party,” you smirk at Sirius.
“It’s not a party; it’s a get t—“
“A get together,” you both finish for him.
“Yes, yes, we know, mate,” James laughs. “Lots of people in your flat for a ‘get together,’ don’t you think?”
“Well, I’ve just made lots of cool friends recently. Thought it’d be nice for them to meet each other,” he shrugs.
“Always so generous,” you tease.
“‘Course,” he shrugs. “How else are you two annoyingly romantic recluses going to meet anyone new? You never leave your flat.”
“We do so,” you try, but it sounds damningly defensive. You cringe before Sirius can pounce and add, “Well, we’re here now aren’t we?”
“Fair. Glad you’ve graced me with your presence, L/N,” Sirius smiles.
Just then a small toy football whizzes past Sirius’s head.
“Oi!” he yells, turning towards the source of the projectile. “No indoor football!” Then he grins his characteristically wolfish smile. “Not before I get to pick teams! I am host after all.” He grabs you by the wrist, dragging you with him. When you begin to object, he just shushes you with, “Weren’t you just complaining about being bored?”
James comes too, no dragging necessary. You’re surprised to find Remus, usually so responsible, in the midst of the ball game crowd.
You raise an eyebrow at him, and he chuckles, shrugging and telling you, “It’s Sirius’s flat. Do you think we’d even be able to tell if something got damaged?” He looks around at the messy space.
You all start what was initially some kind of football game, but it just devolves into a drunken monkey in the middle situation.
You get stuck in the middle, for frustratingly longer than most. It’s not fair Remus is so tall, and James so athletic. When you’ve finally had enough, you jump at James when he catches the ball, wrapping your arms around him, not even going for the ball.
“Hey!” he yells as he’s laughing. “Ref! Foul!” He shakes you loose, not without a fight from you. “That’s not the game,” he chides you. He lifts the ball high, and you make the mistake of reaching for it, obviously having no chance. “Gotta try better than that.” He hasn’t stopped laughing as you jump up and down like an idiot.
“I give up,” you announce, winded but smiling slightly.
“Such a sore loser,” he teases, ruffling your hair a bit and giving you a gentle playful push.
“Whatever,” you push him back. “I’m thirsty. You want anything?”
“I’m good. Catch up in a sec.”
“‘Kay.”
He throws the ball over your head at a ready Sirius as you weave your way to the kitchen.
You lean on the counter, drinking some water. You look back over toward your silly boyfriend and best friends, who are still playing the game, but your view is mostly blocked by a couple of girls who are also watching the shenanigans. You don’t mean to eavesdrop, but they’re standing very close to you.
“He’s so cute,” says one of them, a strikingly attractive girl in heels that make her a whole head taller than the other girl.
“Why am I not surprised? You have such a specific type,” laughs her friend.
The gorgeous girl just shrugs, owning it with no shame.
Having witnessed your fair share of such reactions, you automatically assume they’re talking about Sirius. You just smile and roll your eyes, used to it.
Soon the boys are over the antics too even though the game continues without them, and they come get some water as well. James stands next to you as he downs his glass. He bumps his shoulder against yours, a common gesture between you.
The girls turn toward your group now, and the especially pretty one says, “Thanks again for inviting us, Sirius. If I’d realized it was going to get so… physical” — she emphasizes the word seductively, as she nods back to where they had just been throwing the ball — “I wouldn’t’ve worn such high heels.” She kicks her foot back a bit, as if to show the heels she’s blaming, but you don’t miss her turn into it, showing off her (amazing) body.
Sirius just grins knowingly, unfazed.
“You could always take them off,” he suggests nonchalantly.
She giggles and retorts, “But they look so good on me.”
You can’t help but think it’s incredible people actually just talk to each other this way. You feel like you’re watching a movie, sure you’d never feel bold enough to say something like that unless the other person knew it was your line. You’d never been particularly good at flirting, and getting together with James since back at school, you hadn’t had the need in a long time. Even with James, though, you’d never talked like this, not back then, not now. You were glad you didn’t feel the need; everything just came naturally when it came to James. He used to make you nervous from how much you liked him, sure, but for years, you’d become completely comfortable with him. The closest you came to flirting was your quite frequent teasing, but you teased Sirius and Remus as well, and they you.
“Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friends?” The girl’s question breaks you from your thoughts, drawing your gaze to her. Her gaze, you come to find, is not on Sirius, but on James. Directly, aggressively on James.
Oh god. Maybe it wasn’t Sirius after all.
“Oh, how rude of me,” Sirius says, typically theatrical. “Lads, this is Jules and…” Jules introduces her friend, but you miss her name as a group of people near you laugh loudly. “And these are my best mates, Remus, James, and Y/N,” he gestures at each of you in turn. “We go back to our school days,” he adds kind of adorably.
“Oh, how cute!” says Jules.
Ok, not that adorably. You cringe internally at her then feel a bit guilty for disliking this girl for very little reason. Well, maybe there was a reason… but it wasn’t one you felt often.
She hasn’t stopped staring at James the whole time, and you steal a glance at him now. He’s pouring himself more water, quite unaffected. He looks at her only when she addresses him directly.
“You were so good at… whatever you all were doing over there,” she giggles. “James. It was James, right?”
Oh please. She obviously remembered.
“Yeah,” James smiles, wiping some water that had condensed around his glass. “Thanks,” he chuckles and shrugs. “Not much competition, though,” he adds teasingly, shoving Sirius on one side of him and splashing your face with the water droplets lingering on his fingers on the other.
“Oh don’t be mean,” she says exaggeratedly, playfully hitting his shoulder.
You are not a fan of how angry such minimal contact makes you.
“I thought you put up a really good fight against someone so tall and clearly athletic,” she says to you, looking back toward James at the end of her sentence.
James just laughs lightly and, turning to you, bumping your shoulder, asks, “What do you think, shortcake? You think you put up a good fight?” His tone is all teasing.
“You two are too cute,” says Jules.
Weird angle for her obvious flirting, you think.
“Is this your sister?” she asks, pointing between the two of you.
Oh god. You are simultaneously mortified and infuriated.
Sirius breaks out laughing, saying, “I told you I bet other people play siblings or dating with you two when we go out.”
James starts saying something, but just then, the ball from the continued game hits the counter right next to you, knocking over a bunch of water glasses and startling you all.
“Alright,” Sirius chuckles. “Maybe enough with this shit.” He grabs the ball and goes to toss it in a closet. James goest to dry his arm where it got splashed. Remus starts cleaning up the mess. A loudly apologetic bloke you don’t know comes over to help.
The slight chaos has moved the conversation away from what was just happening, and you have no idea how to clarify things without being incredibly awkward.
His sister? What the fuck? Did this girl really not mind being a total bitch to get what she wanted or, worse, did she actually think you were siblings? Did you look like siblings to the rest of the world? Should it bother you so much if you did?
You’re reeling, and start thinking back to what could’ve given her that impression. Your stomach sinks at the realization of so much playful bumping, hair ruffling, and the like. You can’t remember kissing James once tonight. Maybe this isn’t out of the ordinary, with your slight aversion to PDA, but not once? You realize also how many of your gestures toward James you’d also done toward Sirius. How much they behaved similarly not just with you but with each other. Oh god. Were you that sisterly?
You panic, reach for a kitchen towel, and start drying your damp boyfriend, getting way too close and speaking way too loudly when you say, “Let me help you with that, baby.”
James is a little taken aback. You never call him baby. In fact, though his calling you pet names is common, the reverse is rare. You usually stick with “Jamie” … or some dumb teasing insult like “loser.”
“Uh, it’s fine,” he chuckles confusedly. “Wasn’t that much.” You nod and put the towel down. “You okay?” he asks.
“Fine,” you say too quickly.
You glance toward Jules to gauge her reaction, but she’s busy also drying off, her friend having gotten the worst of it, and you’re not sure whether she heard you.
“Wanna go sit down? I’m tired,” you tell James, dragging him by the hand, which you don’t let go of even after he’s clearly following you, back to the living room.
You pull him down to the couch, where you proceed to sit way too close to him despite there being more room on your other side and wind your arm under his as you continue to hold his hand. You kiss his cheek as he settles in.
He’s smiling but asks, “What’s with you, love?”
“Nothing,” you say, but your voice sounds off even to you. You kiss him again, and even more confusion seeps into his smile.
You’re trying to think of something “couple-y” to do but come up with absolutely nothing, an awkward air arising between the two of you as you squirm. You literally cannot remember the last time you felt awkward with him, and now you add feeling guilty into the mix. At your insecurities, at your jealousy, at his slight discomfort, you’re not even sure at what, but it’s awful.
“You sure you’re alright, sweetheart? You’re all tense, and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost circulation in my hand at this point,” he chuckles. You notice your grip is vice-like.
His tone is light, but yours is not as you snap, “I’m just holding your hand. I’m your girlfriend; that shouldn’t be weird.”
His smile fades quickly as he answers, “Uh… I didn’t say it was weird, Y/N. Just too tight?” It sounds like a question, but that’s probably just because he seems very confused overall.
“Right. Sorry.” Your voice is much softer now as you let go of his hand.
“It’s fine. Obviously. I just… Um…” He’s searching for what to say, wanting to comfort you but unsure what you even needed comforting from. He opts for just reaching for your hand again, straining a smile though his eyebrows remain in a confused furrow.
“You wanna go disorganize Sirius’s beloved record collection?” he asks mischievously.
“No, not really,” you say softly, not feeling like a prank right now even though you usually did.
“Um, ok.” James looks a bit awkward. “You hungry?”
“No.”
“Right.” A silence. “Let’s just sit here then,” he says, probably a bit more sarcastically than intended.
“Is that so bad? Do we always have to be doing something for me to be fun?” you shoot, standing up. “Why don’t you go find Sirius or Remus, James. I’m sure it won’t even make a difference.” You turn away angrily, but he follows you up quickly and stops you.
“Whoah, what’s up, shortcake?” he asks, eyes wide.
“Don’t call me that. It sounds like you’re teasing your little sister.”
You see something in his eyes at the word “sister,” but you turn and keep trying to walk away before you have time to really analyse it.
James is following you but he has to weave between a group of people you managed to avoid, so you get to the bathroom before he catches up. He knocks a second later.
“Y/N? Can we talk please?” You don’t say anything. “Come on, Y/N. Let me in. Or you come out.” You lean against the door but still don’t say anything.
“I just want to know you’re okay,” he says more softly this time.
“I’m fine,” you say, softly too. “I just need a second, okay? I’ll be out in a minute.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, just give me a minute.”
“Alright, love, but just come back quick, alright?”
You’re not even really sure what you’re doing in here. You just need to collect yourself, you guess. You fiddle with some stuff on the sink then find yourself looking in the mirror.
An ugly thought arises, and you hate it, trying to push it away. It comes back anyway.
She’s much prettier than me…
That distorted inner voice doesn’t stop there.
And better at being a girl.
“You’re being ridiculous,” you whisper out loud to yourself. “Completely ridiculous.”
You wash your hands even though you haven’t used the toilet, shaking your head, your gaze fixed on your hands. Then you go back out into the party.
James is across the room, talking to Remus, but staring at the door you just came out of. As soon as he sees you, he pats Remus on the shoulder, saying something quickly, and starts moving toward you.
He’s stopped in the middle of the room by a perfectly manicured hand on his chest. It’s attached to Jules, of course, and your glare hardens. You’re too far away to hear what she says to him, her hand lingering on him.
James shakes his head a bit at whatever she’s saying, his eyes coming back toward you quickly. He gives her a glance again and a nod then his hand comes to her shoulder. You’re eyes are glued to where they connect, and so your gaze follows the motion of James’s hand gently pushing her body aside. A moment later, it detaches as he continues walking toward you. You haven’t moved when he reaches you.
“Hey,” he says simply.
“Hi,” you return. You look away from his face, shy and confused about what to tell him.
His hand gently guides your chin back up, and you lose yourself in his beautiful eyes for a second. He gives you his warmest smile, and you give him a pitiful but sincere one back.
“You wanna talk about what the hell just happened?” he laughs lightly.
“Isn’t it obvious?” you try. You’re not sure you want it to be, but you’re too embarrassed to explain and would take any option that meant you didn’t have to.
“Actually, it wasn’t,” he chuckles. “When you got weird, I thought it was just because you didn’t want to come tonight,” he starts. “But I still didn’t understand the specific… I don’t know, kind? of weird you got.” His lips quirk into a teasing-adjacent smile here, but your face immediately contorts in embarrassment. You cover it with your hand, but James quickly removes yours with his. “Hey, hey, no, sorry. I’m sorry. It’s alright, lovely.” He caresses your hand he’s still holding. “I’m not teasing, okay?” He smiles at you, and you just keep watching him, but your face relaxes a bit. “Then,” he exhales dramatically, “Remus asked me how you reacted to that girl flirting with me right in front of you then calling you my sister.” He grimaces.
Thank God for Remus, you think, the only emotionally aware man you’ve ever met.
“I hadn’t noticed the first part, sweetheart,” James adds. “The flirting part, I mean. I’m sorry, pretty girl. I mean, she didn’t know I had a girlfriend — clearly — but I would’ve just told her I did if that ball hadn’t hit us.”
“She was really into you,” you say before thinking, unsure where that’s supposed to take the conversation.
“Was she? Huh.” He sounds slightly amused, but you know he’s acting to amuse you.
“You really couldn’t tell?” you ask him. There’s disbelief in your voice, but you’re smiling a bit at him. He takes a step closer to you.
“I mean, I guess in retrospect, it makes sense,” he says honestly. “But I guess I’m out of practice,” he laughs. “And more importantly, I don’t care who’s really into me because I’m really into you, you silly girl.”
You exhale, your heart warming and most of your heavy emotions leaving you. You squeeze his hand, and shaking your head at yourself, bring it to rest on his chest. James chuckles into your hairline, kissing the top of your head and holding it close, his fingers interweaving into your hair.
“I’m sorry,” you mumble, your mouth squished against him.
You can feel him shake his head since he’s resting it on yours.
“No need,” he smiles. “I’m sorry. Was quite daft.” You laugh into his chest. You wipe away a tiny tear you’d been about to shed then rest your hand on his chest. The image reminds you, and you jolt upright, looking into his face again. He looks startled but amused.
“What?”
“What was she saying to you? Just now?” You nod toward where they’d been talking. He laughs a full laugh.
“She was telling me we should ditch this get together and go to her place.” He wiggles his eyebrows goofily.
“Jamieee,” you scold, smacking his chest. He grabs hold of your hand and holds it to his heart, thumb caressing the back of it. His other hand still at the nape of your neck.
“She was telling me,” he leans in conspiratorially, “‘sorry for not realizing your girlfriend was your girlfriend,’” he chuckles again. “I guess your little show worked afterward.”
“And what’d you say?”
“Does it matter?” It’s not harsh; he’s all warmth now. Knowing him, you realize he probably just doesn’t see the point of lingering.
“I just want to know,” you say.
“I said I didn’t care and it was fine or something.” He shrugs. “Can’t remember my exact words. Had more important things — a more important person — on my mind, to be honest.” He smiles at you. You smile back.
“I love you,” you tell him.
“I love you too,” he replies with a laugh as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “So much,” he adds, a bit more seriously, and kisses your forehead.
You just stand there, close to each other, your head back on his chest, his arms around you, for a few moments.
Then, leaning back to look at his face, you ask seriously, “Do you really?”
He looks confused by your question, its sincerity. “Of course I do. I adore you. You don’t know that?” His question has more than a tinge of hurt under it.
“No,” you chuckle. But before he can get the wrong idea, you quickly continue, “Of course I know that.” You smile earnestly, and he seems comforted. “I mean, do you really not care? That she couldn’t tell I was your girlfriend?” Your voice grows softer and softer as you ask, and it’s a mere whisper by the end.
“No, sweetheart,” he smiles. “I don’t. I know. And you know. Who cares what other people think?”
“I did,” you scold yourself. “I’m sorry I got so weird. I just… I got really insecure about being just like Sirius or Remus to you. I know I’m just one of you in some ways —“
He cuts you off, “Yeah, baby, you’re one of us in some ways, but not in every way. The four of us, we have something special,” he nods. “But the two of us, we have something special too.” He tightens your embrace. “Seriously special. Yeah, we’re… what? friendly? sometimes. But, darling, you are not like Sirius or Remus to me.” He brings his hand to your face, caressing your cheek. “For starters, I don’t want to kiss Sirius or Remus, and they’re pretty good looking blokes,” he jokes. “And I don’t want to tell them about every single thing that makes me smile — just a lot of them — and about everything important in my life. I don’t need to make sure they’re happy and safe absolutely all of the time. I don’t feel warm and happy to be alive every time I look at them, and I don’t love cuddling with them at night, waking up to them in the morning. Not to even mention the other things that happen in that bed…” Now you laugh too.
“Yeah,” you nod, getting convinced.
“Yeah?” he pushes.
“Yeah,” you say certainly.
“Good.”
You hum a warm assent.
“Now what do you say we ditch this get together and go back to our place?”
You roll your eyes at him but laugh as you nod.
“Yeah, let’s go home.”
He’s nodding as he shifts his arm across your shoulders, kissing the top of your head and continuing to hold you close as you walk toward Sirius and Remus to say goodbye.
“Leaving already?” Sirius complains, teasing you about being antisocial and lame.
“Sorry, mate, but I really want to cuddle up with my girlfriend right now, and this doesn’t seem like the best place for that.”
“Ugh, so cheesy, Prongs. Just leave already,” he says, feigning disgust and pushing James away.
“Good night, gorgeous,” Sirius tells you, kissing your cheek carelessly like he’s done a million times. Similar words, similar gestures, yes, you think, but they don’t feel the same at all. You smile.
“Good night, Siri,” you say. You and James hug Remus too.
James puts his arm back around you as you go to leave. You smile up at him, then, mischief in your eyes, you push him away and walk faster.
“You’re all sweaty, Potter. Gross.” He laughs and play chases you all the way out the door.
Once you’re on the other side of it, enveloped by the welcoming quiet privacy of the night, he catches up to you and pulls you to him. You resist for only a moment, your laughter intermingling with his, then you melt into his embrace.
“C’mere, gorgeous,” James huffs, kissing you ardently. “Can’t wait to get home with you,” he whispers before kissing you again.
#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter imagine#james potter oneshot#james potter fanfic#james potter fluff#james potter angst#james potter x you#james potter x y/n#sirius black#remus lupin#marauders#marauder x reader#marauders fanfic#harry potter fanfic#established relationship
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౨ৎ - 𝐈𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧
• Duke Leto Atreides x Fem Reader
| 18+, smut, unprotected sex!, |
• needy reader, age gap (18+) insinuated, p in v, unprotected sex!, creampie!, Duke gets a little mean :( but he apologizes <3, daddy kink, power imbalance, mentions of masterbation!, pet names (love, sweetheart, honey), slight angst, spoiled reader, fingering!
The Duke was a very patient man. He rarely ever raised his voice at anyone and when he did it was always necessary and justifiable.
The Duke believed he’d never raise his voice at you but in situations like this, you were getting on his nerves. You were sitting in his lap, kissing his face in hope to get his attention.
“Leto please I’ve been good” you begged. He’d been away making bargains with the fremen so him being away for so long got you even needier. He ignored you as you pawed and whined at his chest, your lips messily kissing up his neck and rubbing against his beard as you began to grind onto his hips.
He was trying to finish up his work, trying his best to ignore your pretty pleads as he signs off a few papers. But you were persistent. He told you he was almost done but you just don’t seem to listen.
“Give me a few minutes” he huffed. “Oh come on Leto, just a kiss” you puckered “I told you to wait!” he blurted “don’t you ever listen? I’ve got you here begging me for what? Some attention? I told you not now. Not now means not now. If all you please is to distract me then get out! ” he hissed.
You froze, his malice and hostile tone had you off his lap in seconds “I’m I- I’m sorry” you muttered. He was always careful not to yell, he didn’t see any use in it so this was new to you.
“Go sit on the couch and let me work” he huffed. You nodded with watery eyes and decided to leave him be. Leto watched as you quietly shut the door behind yourself. He sighed realizing he might’ve been a little too mean, after all this little needy act was his doing.
He gave you anything you asked, anything you wished for. It wasn’t your fault you got so accustomed to his 24/7 attention.
It was almost 3 hours later once Leto walked into his chambers. You were curled into a ball wearing one of his freshly washed cotton pullovers, reading one of your dozens of book.
“Darling” he hummed. You perked at his voice, sitting up and stopping yourself from running over to him after what played out. “I’m sorry Leto, I don’t want to be a bother. I won’t do anything like that again” you spoke with worry.
Leto signed and made his way to you “don’t apologize, I was cruel. My sweet girl just wanted some love” he hummed as he sat beside you.
You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, a deep breath leaving your lips in relief “what had you so needy, what do you want huh?” Leto hummed.
“You, anything you’ll give me my lord” you replied. You knew Leto loved being called such things whether it be my lord or sir. “Yeah?” He nodded.
Your legs straddled him into place, chest pressed against each others as he pulled you in for a sloppy kiss. “How cruel am I to tell you no and after all that time away from you” he purred.
You mewled at the sensation of his calloused hand wrap around your throat, his beard rubbing against your jaw as he peppered kisses along your chin.
“Have you been playing with yourself?”
With the reaction you gave, the Duke guessed you have. You nodded with a pouty expression on your face, your hips moving against his hips as he kissed you. He chuckled at your neediness.
You gasped as he pushed you onto your back “I think I need to have a check of my own” Leto smiled as he spread your legs apart. He was more than pleased to see you had no panties and wasted no time in getting his inspection done.
You mewled as two of his thick calloused fingers pushed into your sticky cunt, it wasn’t a surprise when he noticed you gushing all over his fingers so quickly. “All sticky and warm bunny, I can tell you missed me” Leto cooed as he began to fuck his fingers in and out of you.
You gripped onto his wrist as he watched you make a mess of his hand, your eyes rolling back into your head as he praised you for being so good “Is this what you wanted? Or did you want something else sweetheart”
Your words were incoherently spilling out of you while Leto sloppily sucked onto your neck “n- need more! Mor- moreee of you” you cried. He let out a cocky chuckle “more of me? I’m not sure I understand” he teased.
You were so desperate you didn’t even realize what you were saying “Please daddy ” you hiccuped while pawing at his bottoms. Leto froze at the word, daddy. He’s never heard you say it before and boy did he feel like he was missing out.
“What’s my little girl need?”
“Jus’ fuck me! Please Leto” you whined as he pulled his fingers out and sucked them clean. He was working you up as a punishment. You need to learn from your mistakes.
“You want daddy t’ fuck you honey? Wasn’t that enough?” He mocked. You shook your head as you pulled at his bottoms. Managing to get them half way down, Leto decided he’d do the rest.
Letos heart was racing by the view infront of him. You were sprawled on your back, legs wide and cunt dripping as you begged him to fuck you. He felt so damn lucky.
He watched you squirm as he rubbed himself between your folds, your creamy slick coating him in a way that had him mesmerized. He watched as your tight hole glimmered, inviting and encouraging him.
The pornographic moan you let out was sinful as Leto kept your legs to his sides, hips thrusting forward as he buried himself inside your walls. He had to hold himself from slumping onto your chest as your tight walls squeezed him with a vice grip.
“Fu- fuck sweetheart” he moaned as he held your legs open by the back of your thighs. The lewd sounds coming from between you were sinful, the constant pressure on your sweet spot had you sobbing onto the pillows.
You gripped onto the sheets for dear life as his deep strokes knocked the wind out of you. The curve of his length knocked at your cervix as he positioned himself closer to you, causing your hips to slightly lift off the sheets as he continued his brutal pace.
“L- letoo- oh fuc- dadd- ah!” You mewled as his hands slid between your legs and rubbed at your swollen bud. His eyebrows furrowed at the feeling of you clenching around him, your sticky walls pulsed against his length as he held you tight.
“Everyone thinks you’re too pure for a man like me, the Duke. But they don’t have a clue about how much of a filthy little thing you are. Always begging and pawing for me to fuck you, always on your knees” he hissed.
You nodded dumbly without a single coherent word coming from you. Spit dribbled down your chin, nails scratching down his forearms as he curled hips in a way that had your head fogged up.
Leto truly was in heaven in moments like this.
He smiled at the sound of your shaky cries, your pretty whines filling his ears with pathetic pleas. Your orgasm hit hard as you began to whine at his thrusts “you can take it, shhh jus’ breath lovely” he cooed as your legs shook around his waist.
Leto filled your womb with his warm sticky seed, his grumbled moans booming into your ear as he slumped forward. He hugged at your thighs as he thrusted sloppily into your messy cunt.
His seed spilled from your puffy cunt as he came to a halt. Heavy breaths falling into your neck as both of you caught your breath. Leto’s beard scratched at your shoulder as he pressed soft kisses up to your lips.
The kiss was hot and messy as he held your face with two hands. “You’ve never called me daddy before love” he smiled. “I- I’m sorry, I won’t do it agai-“ you panted out but got cut off with a kiss.
The Duke spoke through the kiss “oh honey I want you to keep that up, call me daddy as much as you please” he purred.
#smut#duke leto#duke leto x reader#leto atreides#Duke Leto smut#Leto atrevidos smut#oscar isaac characters#dune Duke Leto#duke leto atreides
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Fraying Hearstrings
we were so beautiful, we were so tragic
The saying goes that time heals all wounds, yet with every tick of the clock, it feels like the cuts in your heart become shallower while the pain only burrows deeper.
“That was so embarrassing. Why would you do that?” Jaehyun's voice slices through the tension in the room, sharp and unforgiving, as he tosses his things onto the sofa, hastily following after you. His hair is disheveled, the stress showing in the wrinkles of his crumpled dress shirt.
“Embarrassing? Really, Jaehyun?" you snap, turning to face him. Your finger jabs into his chest before his hand grips your wrist with a force that’s all too unfamiliar. You flinch, momentarily stunned by the person in front of you—your husband, or at least, the man who used to be.
“Yes! You were embarrassing,” he seethes, shoving your arm away. “Throwing a tantrum like some kid who didn’t get their way? In front of my colleagues, my boss—God! Do you ever think before pulling stunts like that?”
He scoffs, letting his gaze rake over your tear-streaked face with a disdain that cuts deeper than any words.
“Or were you too busy trying to prove you were ‘right’ with your baseless accusations?”
A bitter laugh escapes you, disbelief spreading across your features. You cross your arms, trying to shield yourself from the hurt threatening to spill out. "Baseless? Are you kidding me, Jaehyun? I saw you, with another woman, sitting on your lap!"
"Keep your voice down. The kids are asleep!"
You scoff, voice trembling with both rage and heartbreak. "Now you care about the kids? After everything, you suddenly care about them? Is it because you're scared they'll realize their parents' marriage is a farce, that it’s not as perfect as we pretend it is? Or is it because you’re scared they’ll figure out their father’s a lying, cheating bastard?”
You stand there, the air thick with tension, your heart pounding as Jaehyun’s expression shifts from anger to something almost unreadable. For a moment, it seems like he might say something—apologize, perhaps, or at least try to explain himself. But instead, he just runs a hand through his hair, frustration etched into his features.
“Look, can we just—” he starts, but the words die on his lips when you shake your head, the gravity of the situation pulling you further from him.
“No,” you reply, your voice steadier than you feel. “You don’t get to just brush this off. I can’t believe you’d think I’d let it slide after what I saw.”
He opens his mouth to argue, but you hold up your hand, cutting him off. “I deserve better than this, Jaehyun. Better than to be treated like a fool. You’ve made your choice.”
His eyes flash with something that looks like guilt, and for a brief moment, it feels like you’re peering into the depths of his soul. But then he masks it with defiance. “You’re overreacting. You don’t know the whole story!”
“Then tell me!” you challenge, desperation creeping into your voice. “What could possibly justify you sitting with another woman like that?”
He falters, his bravado slipping as he grapples with his own defense. “It wasn’t what you think. She was just—”
“Just what?” You interject, your voice rising with frustration. “Just a friend? Just work-related? I’m done with the excuses!”
Jaehyun’s shoulders tense, his anger flaring again. “You think you can just accuse me and then walk away? This is ridiculous!”
“Ridiculous? You’re the one who was caught! You’re the one who made a fool out of me!”
The room crackles with tension, each word throwing more fuel on the fire. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you made such a scene!” He shoots back, his voice rising.
“Maybe I wouldn’t have to if you weren’t so careless!” You yell, frustration boiling over. “You’ve turned this marriage into a joke, and I’m sick of it!”
He scoffs, shaking his head. “You think I wanted this? You think I wanted to be here fighting with you? Maybe we’re just better off apart!”
The words hang in the air, sharp and stinging. You freeze, your heart racing at the sudden clarity in his statement.
“Are you serious right now?” You demand, disbelief etched on your face.
“Yeah, I am!” He snaps back, anger and hurt twisting his features. “Maybe we’re just tired of trying to fix something that’s already broken!”
A bitter silence follows, the realization settling in like a heavy weight. You look at him, eyes blazing, and for the first time, you see how worn down he truly is.
“Fine,” you say, voice trembling with emotion. “If that’s how you feel, then maybe we should just stop fighting it.”
“Maybe we should,” He replies, his voice cold and distant.
With that, the air between you shifts, the warmth of your connection replaced by a chilling reality. You turn away, tears threatening to spill as you grapple with the decision that has emerged from the chaos. This fight may have revealed the truth you both have been too afraid to confront: it’s time to let go.
#nct 127#nct#jeong jaehyun#jeong yunho#jung jaehyun#jung yoonoh#jung yuno#jeong yuno#nct fanfic#nct scenarios#nct angst#nct fanfiction#jaehyun angst#jaehyun smut
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Instant Regret- Tadashi Hamada x Reader
“But I miss you, I’m sorry” - Gracie Abrams
⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺
You would think that no matter how big or small the arguments would get, that you would always find a way back to each other. But it really wasn’t the case for the two of you.
You’ve gotten a job opportunity at the company of your dreams. However, their office is ten thousand miles away from home. At first, you weren’t sure what to do. You built your life around getting into the company of your dreams, however you never prepared yourself for the day that you have to leave San Fransokyo. Not only that, you would be leaving Tadashi behind. But after a few days of hesitation, you decided to take the risk and go for it.
You and Tadashi were in your apartment watching your favorite TV show while eating Chinese take out. You couldn’t concentrate on the current episode of That 70’s Show because you didn’t know how to tell Tadashi about the job. If you tell him about it, he would for sure be supportive of it. Right? It’s not like he would just tell you to turn it down…
“Something wrong Y/N”? He snaps you out of your daze.
“No! Nothing’s wrong”. You quickly said.
“You sure? You barely touched your eggplant and tofu”. He pointed at your food with his chopsticks.
You look down at the take out box. It was barely half empty.
“I’m just not hungry”. You said, playing with your food.
“Y/N, if something’s bothering you, you can always talk to me”. Said Tadashi.
You look down at the food. “I guess it’s time”. You thought.
You put your food down and turned off the TV. You turned to him and gently held his hands.
“There is something I’ve been meaning to tell you”. You confessed.
“Okay”. He turns to you. “You got my full attention”.
“Well, remember I told you about that job interview for that company I always wanted to work at”? You started.
He thought for a bit before replying. “The one with the virtual reality and AI research?”
You nodded.
“Well…” you sighed.
“I got the job”. You looked up at him giving him a small smile.
His eyes lit up and he started smiling ear to ear. “Y/N that’s amazing! See! I knew they would like you”! He hugged you tightly.
“Yeah. However, they want me to work at their London office”. You added.
Tadashi’s face fell as he let go of you. “Oh, I see”.
“I know, I promised I would stay, but I didn’t think they would relocate me. But hey, we’ve been through this before. Who said we couldn’t do it again ”. You said
“Yeah, yeah totally”. Tadashi looked at the ground.
You noticed his facial expression. It was a mix of sadness and disappointment. You knew that he wouldn’t approve of this.
“Did I say something wrong”? You ask.
“It’s nothing like that, it’s just”… he trailed off
“It’s just what”? You pressed on.
He let out a sigh before continuing “I had a plan for us to move in together after college. For us to start our life together”.
“I know this is a huge shift from what we’ve planned Tadashi. But this is my dream, you know I couldn’t just let this slip by”. You said in attempts to justify your reasons .
“What about us and everything we built”? He said, emphasizing on “us”.
“Well what about me? You knew how important this job and this company is to me”! You exclaimed
“Am I not important to you”? He asks
“You are, that’s not what I meant. I just thought you would be more supportive of me”.
“I was so supportive Y/N! I supported you when you went abroad for a semester, I supported when you had that 8 week internship over the summer! I was there for you through thick and thin, and now you’re leaving again”? He raise his voice.
You tried to calm the situation down, “Tadashi please I”-
“You never think about the consequences of your decisions and how it affects others. YOU ARE SO INCREDIBLY SELFISH”. He yelled, his words piercing into your ego.
You were both sitting on opposites sides of your black leather couch. The room fell silent. The only thing you both could hear was the clock ticking away and you attempting to muffle your sniffles. But before long, you hear Tadashi letting out a sigh, breaking the short term silence. between the two of you.
“I don’t know if I can wait for you this time Y/N”. Tadashi looks at you.
“No. Please stay. I want you to stay”. Your mind screamed.
“Then leave”.
You felt the couch cushions rise as Tadashi got up. He grabbed his hat from the hooks along with his keys.
Before he closed the apartment door, he looked at you hoping you would say something to make him stay. But you just sat there and stared at the blank TV.
“Goodbye Y/N”. He shuts the door.
And that was the last time you ever saw him.
The next thing you know, you got a call from Aunt Cass. She slowly broke the news about Tadashi’s passing. At first you thought Tadashi was doing this in retaliation for what happened a few weeks ago. But after the news broke out about the fire that killed Tadashi and Professor Callahan, the sad reality settles in. Tadashi is gone.
The funeral was short and simple. You stood in silence, hovering over your late boyfriend’s tomb stone while everyone around you cried. You didn’t think this was going to happen. It wasn’t supposed to happen.
You weren’t planning on sticking around during the reception. But before you could leave, Aunt Cass stopped you.
“Tadashi wrote something for you”. She hands you a white envelope.
You thanked her and began to make your way to the door. But as you were about to leave, you made eye contact with Hiro. You were about to say something, but he disappeared into his room.
You came back to your semi empty apartment physically and emotionally drained. All of your furniture has been shipped to your new apartment in london, and the only thing left is a small white mattress and a few cardboard boxes stacked into a pyramid. You took a bottle of wine from one of the moving boxes and drank out of it. You sat on the floor, letting your head fall back against the wall. Looking down at the envelope, you carefully opened it. You took out the paper and unfolded it.
Dear Y/N,
I wanted to call or text you, but I don’t think you would respond. I’ll be sending this to you after the SFIT showcase. You know that I’m never good with words or with writing down my feelings, so bear with me.
I want to start off by saying, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for calling you selfish. You were so excited about your dream job, and I ruined our night. You were never selfish to begin with, I was. The truth is, I got scared. I know we’ve done long distance in the past, but the thought of us eventually drifting apart scared me. I should’ve been more vulnerable when it came down with these things, but I didn’t know how to bring it up.
I never want to loose you. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. Remember during our date at the butterfly gardens, we were all alone in the auditorium and I randomly blurted out “I want us to last forever”. Well, when I said forever, I meant it. I want us to last for a lifetime.
If anything, I want you to take that job. You’ve worked so hard for it and I bet you would make a great employee at the London office. understand that I cause you some pain, and I don’t expect you to forgive me now. But when you’re ready, I’ll be here, waiting for you.
I love you so much Y/N.
Sincerely,
Tadashi
You buried your head in your arms as you let out loud sobs. You cries drowned out the sounds of the thunder and rain outside.
You couldn’t help but wonder what life would be like if you never took that job offer. What would happen if you apologized to him. Telling him how much you loved him, telling him to stay. The amount of instant regret fills up your heart, and there was no way of getting rid of the grief that came with it.
“I miss you, I’m sorry”.
⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺˚•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙˚⁺‧͙⁺
A/N: I love me some angst hehe srry readers :)
Likes, Comments, and Reblogs are always appreciated!
Inbox is open for requests so request away!!
#tadashi hamada#tadashi hamada x reader#tadashi hamada one shot#tadashi hamada imagines#you#reader#big hero 6 x y/n#big hero six#big hero 6 x reader#big hero 6#tadashi hamada x reader angst#i love me some angst#bh6#baymax#hiro hamada#hiro hamada x reader#heavy angst#angst
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