#but it sure Feels like I've been fired
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
my old boss who unceremoniously fired me over text message a week and a half before I was supposed to go back to that job is simply ghosting my request for an open letter of recommendation and has apparently told the kids that I quit. kill yourself
#I Knew that she was going to tell the kids that I 'found another job' but it still pisses me off#one of my school year kids whos also at camp came up to me today like why did you quit aftercare >:(#literally broke my heart and made me SO mad#like she must have told them at the summer camp she runs?#idk the more I think about it the more upset I get#and everyone else I've told about the whole situation has been like what the fuck???#and it's sort of validating the feelings I think I was trying to ignore/diminish#idk it just sucks. I thought that I'd have that job for a few years but I guess not#also I've never been fired before so I'm sort of :(#like maybe Technically this counts as being laid off because I'm just not being invited back to a seasonal job#and her reasoning was she didn't want any part time employees#but it sure Feels like I've been fired#and now after doing so in a way thats kind of like astoundingly unprofessional she won't even write me a recommendation letter#like. okay#I'm GOOD at my job kids and coworkers tell me all the time. and also I know it independently. so fuck you#anyway.#ghost posts#text
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
the "shave your pits" guy is back in my notes and this time is being transphobic to my followers so it's pit posting time again!!!
#I've been getting a spike in transphobic hate mail recently which I'm taking as a sign that I'm doing something right#i wonder if they're aware that their hatred only makes me more sure of myself and more confident that I'm on the right path#straight up the opposite effect of what they want me to feel lmao but like yeah#bring it on fuckers your rage is as kerosene to a forest fire#nixie pics#nixie pits#muscle mommy
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
There's a video of Piano Hands Guy™️ Ves below the cut for this week's lost media post. It is a different setup from the others, but still does not show his face. There is a brief glimpse of neck and a lot of hand/arm (also a bit of shaky cam).
The title of this video was: Red Seas Fire- Skye (Live Piano Cover), which intends there was a normal piano cover that he did in his room but alas I don't think I have that one 😩 When you're done watching this video go listen to Skye and sit in awe of Ves's piano prowess 👍(also its an amazing song, so glad he indirectly introduced me to RSF).
March 2024 Update
RSF = Win indeed
#lost media#circa february 2012#video#piano cover#song skye#red seas fire#red seas fire skye#i could listen to this for hours#its so pretty#like sir#who gave you the ability to be this good at what you do???#but at the same time#i can almost feel the boredom radiating off the person filming#i've been in that spot too so i can relate lol#theres 2 or 3 other videos i have just like this one#and i'm sure there used to be *a lot* more on his youtube#so i can't blame them
67 notes
·
View notes
Text
@hulloitsdani I HAD TO. ROTATE THIS. IN MY MIND. SO MUCH. CAUSE HERE'S THE THING I think on the surface it COULD make sense and has SO much potential writing-wise and I have hardly thought about that before -- but!!!!
While I have been goofing on Ratatoskr and how she's just a poor little thang, upon meeting she DID tell Alfonse this:
Which gives you SO much information actually. Like. She knows a lot more than she lets on -- not because she's lying outright or even putting up a front, but because she's just. So overwhelmed and emotional and sensitive (LOUDLY so) that may be the only thing you notice, maybe even underestimating her. But I feel Alfonse took this information and did the opposite -- it's an odd position to be in, to be known presumably very well by someone who's a stranger to you. But I think he takes this in, and takes his first impression of her and her personality, motives, the conflict within her, and decides to put his faith in her.
I think ALSO he could be viewing her as a valuable ally, acknowledging:
I think, he sees she has potential, if he can win her over and have her fight on his side. I THINK. Primarily his motivation is practical. Making a quick judgement of her, coming to the conclusion she could be a valuable asset and could help the Heroes even more (going back to, him saying "She can even tell them I asked her to get us more information on the assassination plot" and "If our enemy thinks like I do... they'll see a similar opportunity in front of them.")
AUGH INTERRUPTING THAT THOUGHT THOUGH!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE!!!!!! PART OF THE GAMBIT IS "She would be a valuable ally" AND on the flipside "She could pose a considerable threat if she changed her mind and strengthened her resolve in the opposite direction (to kill me)" so winning her over is part of defusing the threat. AND it's an extra win to have all that information if she does choose the Heroes. AND it's an extra LOSS if she does leave, since she takes all that information with her AND has the advantage while the Order is left scrambling in the dark. Plus also!!!!!! Her having that intimate knowledge of his routines!!!!!! If he loses Ratatoskr, he Knows he's gonna suffer severe consequences.
ALSO. ALSO!!!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE!!!!!!!!!! That is WHY him letting her go and EMPHASIZING she can do whatever she deems necessary, EVEN giving her sisters inside knowledge on the Heroes. I FEEL LIKE. THIS IS ACTUALLY. VERY MUCH (on a much smaller scale!!!!) another Letizia moment. HEAR ME OUT
Right before The Moment, he's judging Letizia's character, what he knows to be true about her, her PERSONALITY and the way she thinks. Which leads him to go sicko mode on her (because! That Was the course of action to take with her!!!!)
THIS TIME. He's met with a very emotional, very distressed and conflicted assassin who seems to have a moral compass and is conflicted about what she's been ordered to do. In one way, she's almost like a bomb that has to be defused -- she Does pose a threat, and the threat needs to be addressed before it goes off/is out of his hands. And in this case, appealing to her emotions IS the answer!
AND. I THINK. PART of that appeal WAS to place That Much trust in her. ESPECIALLY communicating to her, she's not Required to remain loyal to the Heroes. Giving her a choice, between them and her sisters. He's heavily relying on Ratatoskr's internal conflict and also (surely it hasn't been missed on him) her attachment to him, or at very least her respect for him as a person she's come to admire. It's an extreme chance to take, but I think he knows if Ratatoskr can 1) Feel like she made the choice herself, and 2) He can catch her on another emotionally driven motivation (When she requests a favor in return, which is for the Heroes to Save her Sisters) -- I think he's fully confident he can win her over without forcing her to do anything.
WHICH. ALSO. HELPS WIN HER OVER BC her MAIN conflict she's struggling with is Being Forced To Do Something She Doesn't Want To. By NOT being forceful with her, by EMPHASIZING she can take any action she deems fit, he's set up a situation WHERE the Order of Heroes is the preferable option. He leaves her with the impression that her feelings matter, that she has agency, and ultimately it's up to her.
I FEEL LIKE........ I am talking in circles LMFAOOO BUT. I think Another thing (before thought interruption) was Alfonse's lines saying, "It's a gamble on our part, but if our enemy thinks like I do... they will see a similar opportunity in front of them." ESPECIALLY into:
WHICH stood out to me SO much because I think it really captures how practically motivated he IS here. He is using her. He's acknowledging, that if their enemy is Like Him, they're using her, too. He's creating a situation with a desired outcome, making the Order of Heroes the more desirable option to align with, giving her the feeling that she Can choose -- and, this is true! He's entirely put the choice in her hands. But in DOING that, it strengthens the possibility of her seeing the Heroes AS the desirable option. Which is the goal. Which is what he wants. He Is prepared, most likely, for the event this backfires, but also he's fully confident Ratatoskr Will choose them. (Also, as I say he was "most likely prepared for backfire"..... honestly that may not even be the case. Alfonse bluffs and bullshits his way around and out of things so much it would make Phoenix Wright blush).
WHICH ALSO LIKE..... AAAUGHGHHHH rotating him in my mind forever. You can See his traits and tendencies, see how he uses them for the benefit of his allies and those he cares about, but also SO clearly you can see. How A Lot of That is deeply rooted in his own moral compass (which is good!) and his own perspective (which is limited and sometimes flawed) and you can see. EXACTLY how these things can twist and turn and get really ugly LMFAOO
And man I haven't even gotten to Alear yet but I have THOUGHTS about his interactions w her too I need to make a separate post about LMFAOO 😅 (hit image limit and also feels like another topic entirely 🫡)
#fire emblem#feh#THIS FEELS. v rambley and all over the place but i hope it's coherent.#also like my thoughts about reginn (i don't even know if i've elaborated) and how he acted towards her#LIKE. HONESTLY. it drives me so insane like i'm imagining all of this they way he treated reginn#(which a harshness motivated by wanting to guide her to do what must be done) and how he treats veronica (friend or foe)#and how he's been handling ratatoskr. SO STRONGLY. i just feel like the root of it all is sharena.#how i think it's EXTREMELY likely he did Not escape parentfication and how he must have had to raise her#more than their actual parents did (ALL GUESSWORK cause we don't know for sure)#but i think there IS a strong sense of it was just the two of them. for a very long time.#and i think about how he's the one who taught her how to fight (alongside bruno ofc but likely before then too!!!)#I THINK ABOUT IT. ALL OF THE TIME. HOW IT SEEPS INTO SO MANY ASPECTS OF HIM.#AND THE. THE FUCMING. THE FYCKING CHANGELING -- *gets shot*#like in my head he devoted so much to her and. and. it's still so strongly present in him to this day and. and#what if i cried about it forwver. what then#fe alfonse#ratatoskr
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.
#I think also because I'm a very nostalgic person - THOUGH not in the way that somep poeple mean when they say nostalgia because I've realiz#ed that to some people apparently it means like.. more of a sad emotional thing? Or when I talk about being nostalgic they say 'me too' and#then describe how they're always depressed dwelling on the past wishing they could revisit it and replaying it and feeling sad and etc.#Whereas for me - it's not in a deep or emotional way at all. It's very detached - kind of like someone who is doing like a scientific#cataloguing of something? I don't feel any remorse or sadness or longing or sitting there sobbing for hours over people/pets I've lost or#etc. It's more like a fun contemplative excercise and extension of self analysis plus just documentation. Like I know your memory fades as#you get older OR even as stuff is actively ongoing humans have terrible recall - even the ones who are less emotional/more focused on#accuracy our minds still twist things or etc. SO I looove to have documentations of everything possible so that in the future I will have#as full and complete of a view of myself as I possibly can. sure the image will undoubtedly be a little distorted but having real evidence#of how something was at a time is very valuable. You look through old messages or letters or something and you always find other alternate#versions of yourself. Not in a worse way like inherently inferior Previous Models Of You who haven't yet been perfected but even just in a#neutral way like 'what they're saying is not a BAd thing but also is not how I would say that today.' etc. ANYWAY I find it really interest#ing to document and remember things and love revisiting the past - not in a sad way - but just like. curiosity. reminiscing and recalling#and filling in gaps. or trying to have the same feeling I felt at a previous time so I can remember what it was. Collecting information for#documentation purposes. Like for example - I would love to go back and tour all of my old childhood houses/apartments. Not to like#sit in the middleof them and cry and go 'ohhh my childhood waughhh' - but literally because I want to take detailed photographs so I#can remeber exatly what they looked like and recreate them in sims or some other digital way. Why? idk. just to gather the information. If#I ever live to like 80 years old and I'm still reflecting on my life curious about the dteails of it. I want to be able to fire up my#ancient windows 10 laptop I've kept all these years and open up the sims 4 and tour my old home with accuracy etc. ??#Not sure why really. Maybe an extension of how I generally care a lot about having an 'accurate' view of things? Like I would rather be#accurate than be happy. I don't understand 'ignorance is bliss' because I would always rather know. I always always in any situation am mor#focused on 'what is the well researched practical truth' than about 'how does this make me feel' or etc. Truth above ALL else even if it#were to make me miserable. Aka why I'm a 'boring' 'annoying' 'UM actually..' type of killjoy lol because it's very hard for me to understan#that some people can enjoy something or have a good time even not knowing the full facts of a situation or etc. BUT anyway. since that is#some core driver of my personality for whatever reason (just the plague of ennegram type 5 perhaps lol) maybe that also drives me to my#kind of minor obsession with like 'I must have a complete view and calatoguing of my life that is as accurate as possible within the means#i have' . Is it REALLY important for me to know the exact layout of on of my first childhood bedrooms? no. materially it does nothing for m#in life. BUT hey. it would make a great addition to the Accurate Life Story Catalogue lol. ANYWAY.. But I think a lot of wanting to live in#one place forever is not just the ease of documentation. but the sense of having a constant. Much of what i crave most in life is stability#& familiarity &routine bc of how my brain works. And it just would feel so good to be Settled. Never uproot again. One little place FOREVER
44 notes
·
View notes
Text
decided to leave my job and i'm gonna fr gonna cryyyyy
#literally can't work with my new boss bc i can't trust her#she went to the head of the department with complaints abt me without ever speaking to me or giving me any indication she was unhappy#and various other reasons im not happy w management and the school in general#HOWEVER#i love the kids sm and im gonna miss them and worry abt them 😭😭😭😭#im literally scared for some of them bc it feels like the other teachers have no empathy for some of my favorite kids#one of them who is so so sweet and when he cries i'm the girst to comfort him bc everyone else thinks he needs to toughen up 😭#also my new boss sucks so so bad and is gonna be such a bad influence on him and all the other kids#and my main co teacher said she's gonna quit if i do so i cant even beg her to look out for my babies and take care of them 😭💔#and it would be unprofessional to mention any concerns to the parents but genuinely some of the kids would be better off elsewhere#like im actually worried about it#i dont want some of the really sweet sensitive kids to lose their sweetness bc they're being treated unkindly#and the worst bullies and spoiled kids are the ones the teachers dote on#so it encourages some of the sweet ones to act out for attention#anyway 💔#i really do need to go tho#and i'm sure i'll love the kids at my new job#but im so sadddd#also its unlikely i can find a well paying job w this age group even tho i love this age group#its basically impossible not to get attached to them at this age and i get to pick them up and hold and cuddle them and stuff#and you cant really do that with the older kids sadly#literally on the verge of tears even seriously thinking abt leaving#things have been p bad for a while due to management but i never seriously considered leaving bc i love the kids so much#but i literally can't see a future here#and my new boss clearly hates me and im worried she's going to try to get me fired#she already made up a bunch of lies about me and its only been three weeks#anyway i only make 15 an hour so hopefully i'll at least get more somewhere else and i know i'll still love the kids#its just really hard#which is why i've stayed this long#i was p unhappy before my new boss even started bc of the way they treated my old boss
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
#putting this here because i need to put these thoughts into words -#so many of my joints and limbs hurt all the time and its always the most bastardly combinations too#it's been only getting worse ever since it started a decade ago#and i feel like i am going insane#my limbs sometimes feel like they are on fire and i can't do anything about it#recently my knees have been worse than ever before and i feel held hostage by my own damn body#i always feel like people are let down by me when my body forces me to do/not do certain things#and it makes me feel so bad to talk about my pain with anyone around me#i've been chasing an answer with so many different doctors but it is so hard to not just get dismissed as a crazy 24yo woman#and end up with zero help#and this is not even counting the very possible allodynia in my hands -#im just so tired of pain and people around me getting mad at me for being in said pain#or not even MAD. they get so disappointed.#i dont know where else to put this right now and you guys are always lovely to me#so if any of you read this - i wish you nothing but good things. make sure to drink some water ♥#also side note: thank you all who read the new OKR part. it means the world.#lila post
4 notes
·
View notes
Note
Are you ok? What happened?
Yeah I'm chilling lmao we just had a patient presenting with a condition I'd never seen in person and it didn't end well for them unfortunately
#not snz#I'm lucky enough to have been unfazed by almost everything I've seen in the field so far#so i was basically just interested in the weird medical shit that was going down lmao#for my fellow medical people we got a pt with an AAA that ruptured before transport could even arrive#so I'm sure y'all can guess what happened#but it looks so wild?? like in my head i knew it would probably look some type of way but it was crazy to see#tragic part about being super interested in medicine is that you can't go :0 in front of an audience#like you can but then they'll think you're heartless or bad at your job or something#like no I'm just not emotionally invested in the situation bc idk who this person is lmao#anyway rip to my one coworker who we all had to watch play tetris after#she's okay she was just really feeling the adrenaline#and we did all go out for ice cream lmao gotta do some serious team bonding after that#god i love fire and ems we say the most fucked up shit then laugh about it bc what else can you even do tbh#so anyway yeah I'm all good I'm just still going :0 about the medicine part of it lmao#and i got to tell my other ems buddies so 😌
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
turns out i'm incapable of making a mistake and coping with it like a mature adult
#mk.op#i've been out of work over a little over two hours#and i CANNOT. STOP. THINKING ABOUT IT.#watch it be nothing watch my boss and i laugh it off in the morning#OR demon on my shoulder is telling me i'll get written up. or fired.#and again i'm well aware it's not 100% my fault and i do tend to overreact to things i fuck up cause idk i just#have this very very bad guilt complex#i'll put the weight of the world on my shoulders to the point it breaks my back#when maybe it's not my load to carry alone#hell even if i'm mad at someone i'll end up feeling guilty over being so upset#and you'd think with the amount of times i've fucked up over the eight years i've been there#paired with the amount of mistakes others have made and still work there but idk#i've always been paranoid of being fired from day one#UGH this fucking sucks#and maybe that's another reason i'm so wound up because at one point#i pointed the finger sort of being like 'why did this get used' when it was fine all along#(nobody ever corrected me and i'm sure people knew what was right)#(am i just too intimidating to correct?)#i'm trying very hard to distract myself and nothing's working#(work is also texting me which makes this a hell of a lot worse)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Every day, I meditate on my anger and bitterness. I reflect on my seemingly bottomless need to ruminate on all the people who have abused and traumatized me starting from a young age. The unfairness of it all. The senselessness. I grieve for myself as a little girl who desperately wanted to be love and be loved, and whose desperation was like blood in water to sharks.
I send quiet internal prayers out to the universe and ask it to lessen my anger, because I truly don't think I need it anymore. I'm safe from harmful people for arguably the first time in my entire life. I have friends and family whom I love. I have cultivated a sense of self-love so all-encompassing that no other person will likely ever be able to rival it. I am safe. I'm okay. I'm happy. I don't need my anger anymore.
I reflect on how to this day my mother, who I had to cut off for my own sanity, is a bitter, miserable woman now in her 60s. How eerily my personality and potential echo hers. Her and I both were deeply wounded over and over, starting at young ages by our mothers. We both jump to rage when we are hurt, we both ruminate endlessly about those who hurt us, replaying the painful mental movies over and over again, hurting ourselves long after the harmful people have gone.
I see her in me, and I see what I have the potential to become if I don't release my resentment. It's hard to let go of something that has kept you safe in the past. My anger has time and time again scared off abusers, once they realize it makes me too unstable, unpredictable, and therefore difficult to control.
But I don't need it right now. It's best to internally send well wishes to all who have hurt me, because it takes someone equally hurt and dysfunctional to mistreat others. The only way I don't end up as one of them, to not end up a carbon copy of my mother, is to let the resentment go.
I've undertaken several self/life improvement projects that will hopefully bear fruit in early 2025. Not jinxing anything by talking about it yet, but I'm excited. I'm ready to look towards the future and leave my past where it belongs, and I do this with love and acceptance.
#personal#anger#the belief that my anger is still protecting me has been limiting me a lot#i may need to call on it again someday but it's not likely#because i have the experience and knowledge to recognize emotionally & physically unsafe people from a mile away now#but in the event that i let another one get near me again i can yield it like a weapon and then put it away once I'm safe again#my mom keeps her anger unsheathed at all times and it's made her sick and unstable and unhappy#what I've been through in the last year has given me so much compassion for her bc I finally understood that she acted the way she did#bc she has been in immeasurable unhealed emotional pain her entire life#it doesn't excuse it. it's still her responsibility as an adult to go to therapy and stop unloading on everything and everyone#but i realize now that she wasn't just torturing and abusing me for fun. she did love me deeply. but she was not in control of herself#i feel pity for her because i now understand first-hand how deep main mixed with a sensitive nervous system#transforms you into someone you're not#i don't know if she'll ever seek the help she needs but i finally feel i can forgive her from a distance#one thing is for sure we do not have free will lmao#it takes an enormous amount of awareness to cross the threshold of unconsciousness we live most of our lives in#i flit in and out of this unconsciousness all the time and it takes work#tonight i feel i have clarity but tomorrow my neurotransmitters might feel like firing off in anger again#all i can do is catch myself in it and breathe and remind myself of who i don't want to be#and most importantly who i want to become
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
What did BOC do?
assuming you are in good faith, anon, here’s a non-exhaustive list:
they allowed the KP novelists (poi and yok) unfettered access to the set, where they were filmed sexually harassing numerous members of the cast, including a minor they coerced into giving them massages
they failed to take action against the actors’ stalkers who doxed their hotels and flights and followed them on vacation, nearly drove their cars off the road, and broke into the BOC offices
ignoring poi’s accusations of plagiarism against sammon for the original 4 minutes script (prior to its retooling as whatever the fuck garbage it is now) and failing to apologize
continuing to side with poi after she falsely accused one of their actors, build jakapan, of plagiarism, abuse, theft, and a forced abortion, as well as setting up a months-long harassment campaign with leaks of private messages and photos, leading him to nearly commit suicide after his resignation and more or less blackballing him from the thai television industry. actors were also forbidden to mention him in any way.
in a major double standard move, forced build into an extended hiatus near the end of KP's airtime after twitter dug up decade-old problematic tweets and blew them up into a scandal, while ignoring 2024 allegations and receipts against bible for old, still undeleted social media posts that are in the same vein that got build canceled originally
pond, BOC’s CEO, continues to blame build indirectly in interviews over 18 months after the initial scandal (obliquely referring to him as though all of BOC’s past and present problems are laid at build’s feet), even though poi admitted in a settlement that the claims were false and build has entirely distanced himself from anything to do with BOC since his resignation
chose to announce jeff satur’s departure from BOC during a live event that was also streamed worldwide without informing nearly everyone in the cast prior, including bible (who’d just lost his scene partner, build, not long beforehand) and barcode (jeff’s scene partner, the minor who’d been harassed by yok and poi), causing a devastated barcode to burst into tears in front of the audience
held a reality show that included telling a teenager to get a nose job to ‘look less chinese’ and required the largely-teenage candidates to undergo an exercise in humiliating exorcism where they had to spill the skeletons in their closet in a public guilt and shaming circle
have been exposed numerous times stealing artwork for promotional materials
discarding the majority of their cast after KP finished airing, leaving actors signed to the studio but providing them no acting, sponsorship, or live opportunities, only to then hire several waves of new cast members for other projects, leaving the existing talent high and dry
failed to budget properly for their aborted ‘world tour,’ then blamed the actors
despite KP being a massive success, they claimed to be above BL for their next project, man suang (which pond trumpeted as the saving grace of new thai cinema and was partially funded by the thai ministry of culture), which failed to do anywhere near the gangbusters numbers expected of it, leading pond to walk back his claims and announce a man suang AU tv show, recently postponed from its original 2024 release date to 2025, which is supposed to be more of a light and fluffy BL romcom, rather than the serious historical piece man suang was originally advertised as. this was also apo's passion project and had almost zero promotion.
mile, who was the inspiration for the KP novel, coaxed apo back from new york (where he’d gone after a disastrous experience in lakorns in thailand) to star in KP by promising him BOC wouldn’t be similar to other studios, only to promptly turn around and have the guy who’d faced horrific amounts of colorism appear in ads for whitening products
have repeatedly insulted international fans (both in southeast asia and globally), including a canceled event in vietnam being blamed on bigoted stereotypes of vietnam being crime-ridden and unsafe, and using offensive/outdated content in their promotional materials
ultimately, whether you choose to support BOC or not is your decision and my judgment means nothing. for me, KP was a very good time for a few months and then a life-ruining time for three times as long as it was good, and i quite frankly would prefer never to have watched the show because BOC and its attack dogs caused so much pain to a huge number of people i care about, with none of the people either at the company or in the fandom ever bothering to take the slightest shred of accountability for their noxious behavior. i hope every day is a fucking misery for pond and i wish him all the luck and success he deserves, which is fucking none. when BOC burns down, let me know so i can reserve the time off to dance on its grave.
#if i saw that man on fire across the street the only way you'd get me to cross would be to ask me to hand you more gasoline#not even touching on bas' new teenage partner because it makes me feel like the FBI will knock on my door but#maybe if you want to have your actors in sex scenes make sure they look like adults#anyway if you're a bootlicker and want to try starting shit just do me a favor and hit the block button#i really don't give a fuck what your opinion is any longer#i've said my piece and i'm not in the mood to sit and debate with people because they want to watch their softcore slop guilt-free#BOC has been garbage since its inception and it will continue to be garbage for as long as it exists#fuck 'em
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
there is no better joy in this world than finally being able to write something you've always wanted to write
like me wanting to write how hot sabo's body feels from koala's pov
#idk why but i've been OBSESSED with writing how touching him feels from her perspective since like the moment i started shipping these two#b/c he was probably always on the warmer side but now his entire body is quite literally made of raging flames that are#just beneath the surface of his skin#and sure it might seem scary but not to her not to the lost child that was saved by the sun pirates who has the sun branded on her back#it's a fire she always knew he was capable of and now it's there and it's not frightening it's comforting#just gAH#words and writing and stuff i love it#ange rambles
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#oh also more on the rachel brainrot i've been wanting to try n design a witch form for her. like madoka style#i don't have a name yet but i was thinking her title could be The Theatre Keeper or something along those lines#fucked up lil deer familiars. labyrinth full of stagelights and curtains and stars#there's a big stage in the centre where a constant performance is played. an audience full of mangled deer#with the witch watching over all the silhouettes on stage making sure everything goes just right#she's very strict with her lead actresses. she's known to crush them at a moment's notice and make another to replace them#if you wander into her labyrinth you either wind up starving to death in the audience or#being torn apart by the witch after you've been a disappointment on the stage one time too often#if you come into her labyrinth to fight her then The Audience Turns On You and you're swarmed by the deer#and if you get through that you gotta deal with The Howling and The Fire :)#see i have like everything except. what she would look like shdgfjshfskjdhk#i feel like she would be Big and Angry. Oktavia type of witch. yknow#and if i Really wanted to get into it she'd be like Candeloro and have a familiar that looks like Chloe that's one of the actors#okay i have to stop. cause i'm getting Sorely tempted to think of one for chloe&max too lol#nebular.txt
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
maybe bsol is that time jen tepper mentions when she was so upset about a review of a show of joe's that she broke a glass (&/or threw it out a window)
#could be anything ofc but i sure went sighhh i'll read the nyt review for science; i'm already assuming it's a piece of shit#(it was; thus predictably; a piece of shit. even the nyt rave for a show i liked was basically a piece of shit)#the only thing that makes raves higher quality is they might have actually bothered giving more info abt the show#& otherwise have devoted more thoughts & less space to just the critic's dogshit directionless griping. but barely; so#anyway i was like oh i can search twitter easily for a word as distinctive as bloodsong (except also a ship name for some videogame)#then i was like oh my god at a post from jenashtep about like oh it's the anniversary of two days in a row Events#first when the nyt bsol review was published second when i went to your apartment to make sure you weren't dead#(wait she didn't say To Make Sure You Weren't Dead she says Because I Thought You Were Dead....throw a glass situations)#like well damn also hmm....(also first thing the nyt would've covered at all i think. tbs never played in ny....or nj evidently)#one can only imagine. bsol is so [it does feel very christmas extravaganzay to me in ways. not the same lord knows but]#that like I'm riled fourteen years later finally listening to a boot which leaping into the arms of someone lifting up an Audio#same as xmas like sure i can't be like oh it's about this that the other precise moment though there are ones that extra rile me#can't say it's so obvious like i could Elevator Pitch explain to a rando why i Gasp or get weepy or just have some very special experience#plus i've never even gone lol. the way they can't stop the xmas show b/c it's a musical that just crops up a weekend a year lol#i'm so already like oh of course this is something i'm obsessed with forever now :) unsurprisingly & like it's so idiosyncratic god bless#(also unsurprisingly bloodsong seems to have been broadly warmly received; save by the Newspaper Of Note(tm) taking a dump & calling it a#day like will was saying abt tbs l.a. like oh audiences loved it local online coverage loved it just the less than halfassed review by the#Big Paper didn't & was like ''why isn't this a whole other thing'' called it a day)#anyway like hey I'm absolutely on fire for Outlaw for Not In Your Soul You Don't for Last On Land for Friendship Song to name a few#for what ended up being my proper angle of entry like oh that means a funny little villain then? (yes) like boy is that a banger alone#think thusly nominated for off bway relevant awards; got more than one nom....hey for one thing fourteen yrs later a rando can be obsessed#like that same rando cherishes the memory a livestream livechat interview where i said Black Suits Forever & they put that up onscreen so#joe had to pause like sorry i got distracted someone said black suits forever that's a line from the show & it's So that that show of mine#that never played in new york....like That's Right lol. i'm slamming the xmas fanart up to your window for year three joe Joseph the Show#(he did also see the bsol fanart which i more discreetly made a reply given he saw that Yay Krampusfucking reply last year lol)#anyway uh um. oh yeah wait also bloodsong is lifechanging sort of to me personally i'm just like. so relatively evenkeeled about it like#well of course :) & it counts as lifechanging when i get anticsful Posting. & it's lifechanging Any shows Any songs that are any kind of#impactful. speaking of like individual numbers in cabaret shows or the entire show or the album or concert or anything#as i reblog Outlaw again yelling or go god damn one Understands how last on land is the penultimate song on album#or i say to myself Whenever I Eat A Noodle; I Like To Think About The Hwheat That It Used To Belong To
1 note
·
View note
Text
HELP maybe this is influenced by how I'm writing this, or maybe it was supposed to be gleaned from canon and I just. Haven't fully thought about it til now. Haven't Deeply analyzed it beyond the blaring alarm bells that go off when reading this. But. Alfonse's,
Straight into.
This isn't him doubling down. This is him BACKTRACKING. This is him going, "oh fuck I think maybe I came on a little too strong maybe I was a bit too vulnerable and that's really scary. How do I fix this" and he's running through all the dialogue options in his head like Okay. Play it Cool. Keep it Casual. Proclaim your undying loyalty and devotion to your Trusted Partner (person he just told in the beginning of this conversation that he didn't intend to become friends with) by making yourself a blade and shield for them. NAILED IT 👍
#fire emblem#feh#ALFONSE. PLEASE. COME ON MAN#HUUUUUGE FUCKING EPIPHANY FOR ME THOUGH as i'm writing/drawing bc that last line i've been struggling w the most#but this. add some moe lore. I HAVE HUGE IDEAS ABOUT THE MOE LORE IN TANDEM W THE CANON IMPLICATIONS.#in short/minimal spoilers if i forget to expand on it later BUT IT'S SO HUGE TO ME. SO HUGE#but i think alfonse has Noticed. things about moe. similarities to himself. but it either#doesn't know it or refuses to acknowledge it. he isn't sure which yet. so when he says 'i hope you feel the same'#he's reaching out ala pre-skip dimitri fbs. asking moe to Consider This. AND. AND. IN TANDEM.#w the canon implications. that he doesn't think highly of himself and doesn't dare wait for an answer#AND. AND. HELP THERE'S A MOMENT THAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY. he just commits a Blunder#that even moe's autistic ass catches him on. it all happens So quickly. in a fucking instant.#WHICH. WHICH. LED TO ME REALIZING THIS. he is trying TO CATCH HIMSELF HERE.#AND THE. ADDITION. of moe lore/the blunder why he tries to move on So quickly. please do NOT ask me questions i WILL throw up.#ALSO LIKE book 3 alfonse fresh in my mind. i did take a break after The Incident (gustav).#but like. goes so insane actually. this is really all he knows how to be. constantly in service to others. made to be a tool.#it's so fucked up bc you can see he is genuinely wired like that too. he WANTS to help. he wants to do good#but man................... i def don't have the words for it rn it's just so tragic. but i think about it All The Fucking Time.#GOD SORRY I'M HAVING ANOTHER ALEAR FB MOMENT. ALFONSE. ALFONSE.#cut off that tangent just to make a whole other post about it.#fe alfonse#moe tag#TAGGING IT. bc i rambled about it in the tags and it's MY OC I MAKE THE RULES 😤😤😤😤😤
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need to post about palestine on facebook but i'm fucking terrified
#i went to a very jewish college and a very decent percentage of my fb 'friends' are jewish zionists.#i don't use fb often but when i've checked recently‚ i've found a handful of pro-israel posts‚ and they've been well-received.#i have seen one person put a palestine frame on their profile picture. they got a small‚ mostly positive but some negative‚ response.#that's all the reference i have here.#and very importantly: i feel like pretty much anything i say is going to be received as goysplaining.#i think my best bet is to stay away from historical arguments (like‚ yes palestine does actually exist‚ yes it was bad to force them off of#their land in the first place‚ etc)#and also avoid my personal feelings on this re: my relationship with judaism (which is integral to the message i want to send but w/e)#and focus on israel's very obvious current indefensible actions.#however. i feel like i'm doing the movement a disservice if i don't call for a free palestine and explain what that actually means.#but doing that would increase my risk of getting dogpiled from 'high' to 'inevitable'.#and i am not articulate!!! people might try to rebut me‚ and i am very bad at debate!!!!!!! i have multiple anxiety disorders!!!!!!#and people get fired over this kind of thing. i know the chance is small‚ but i don't know if i want to risk my career over this.#my gut is telling me to wait until i'm sure. but i don't know if or when that will happen.#i want to change *someone's* mind‚ but idk if i'll even be able to do that. maybe just my uninformed hometown gentile friends'.#i want to do this before it's 'too late'. but what does 'too late' mean here? my fb friends aren't launching the missiles.#i suppose my goal is to help turn the tide of public opinion‚ in the hopes that that'll affect the politicians/corps at play here.#but maybe i'm more likely to do that by marching. making posters. talking to acquaintances. who knows what else.#just because i don't *see* those minds change doesn't mean they're not changing. maybe those minds are actually more likely to change.#txt
8 notes
·
View notes