#but it still doesnt feel good posting my art without doing Something to protect it!!!!

[sonoda-oomers]

(visibly sobbing and sniffling as i try so very hard to make the obnoxious watermark look like it could be part of the composition even though it has to be big enough for DO NOT REDISTRIBUTE AND/OR MODIFY to be readable) im a brave soldier

[harukapologist]

i never noticed your blog title. i am no.2 0109 siblings enjoyer. do you have headcanons for them too? (i am begging, respectfully)

OH MY GOD YIPPIE YIPPIE FINALLY SOMEONE ASKED ME FOR 0109 SIBLINGS HCS.... Ive been waiting for an ask like this for such a long time thank you... AND YAY FELLOW 0109 SIBLINGS ENJOYER worry not i have plenty!!! for both haruka & mikoto and haruka & john

-THEY BOTH LIKE ART!!!! haruka liking art & drawing is a hc of mine that i adore... and mikoto canonically likes art, but feels that he isnt good at it. at first he watches haruka draw and praises him and then one day haruka asks mikoto to draw him something, mikoto is like "oh im not that good of an artist actually..." but then picks up the pen and haruka is MESMERIZED by mikoto's art he's like. Oh my god. Please teach me. You're an amazing artist.... and Mikoto is really surprised because no one ever praised his art like this before. And he already sees Haruka as a great artist so he feels really encouraged to draw again. and they both spend a lot of time drawing together....

-mikoto likes sketching more & is great at it, but haruka likes painting more & is great at it, so sometimes mikoto will sketch something and haruka colors it, and the other way around if they wanna experiment. and they give each other tips (Haruka is very shy to give mikoto tips but mikoto is like " I'd love to hear your opinion on my art, i want to paint more like you!!! youre so good at it!!!" and haruka is just like :D !!!

-remember from the 0105 platonic hc post that, in my post milgram AU, shidou drives haruka home from school. If Haruka doesn't walk with the other 3 prisoners who are in school, Mikoto takes him on his bicycle and drives him to school in the morning before cycling to work!!! i like to imagine sometimes fuuta has morning lectures so he joins them (fuuta is tiny enough that there won't be a space problem i Think but they'll still be kinda squished on each other ahhaha) and the bicycle ride is disastrous because mikoto and fuuta are bickering while haruka is holding onto mikoto for dear life LMAO

-speaking of cycling since mikoto likes to cycle. he teaches haruka!!! haruka is always very scared if he'll fall but mikoto is patient with him, reassures him that the safety gear is there for a reason (Mikoto has no plans of letting haruka get hurt, he always makes sure haruka is wearing safety gear when he's a total beginner) and is encouraging haruka when he makes even the smallest progression!!! like haruka could cycle for 3 seconds and mikoto is like "LET'S GOOOO YOU DID IT IM SO PROUD OF YOU" and goes to high five haruka and hug him

-sometimes the evening or night time makes haruka feel down & scared or have a lot of intrusive thoughts or nightmares, it's been a thing since he was in the real world but its more frequent and harsh in milgram so he goes to mikoto's room with his plush and just lies down next to him while mikoto is doing whatever he's doing. often when haruka does this he will end up falling asleep next to mikoto in his bed and mikoto tucks him in and sleeps next to him and holds haruka if he wants to be held. mikoto really feels protective over haruka especially when he's resting, like anyone could be entering the room and mikotos like " be quiet... haruka is sleeping!" :'3

-speaking of harukas bunny plush, he really REALLY doesnt like anyone touching it without permission (the autistic urge to gatekeep the comfort item) and mikoto understands when he asks haruka if he can touch his plush and haruka just., *shakes head nervously* but soon haruka allows him to and mikoto is delighted that haruka trusts him enough to let him interact with his comfort item!!!!

-haruka really likes mikoto's hair and one day he's like "mikoto-san, I want to dye (well... bleach) my hair too someday" and mikoto gets really excited and they talk about what colors they could dye haruka's hair when they get out of milgram :D

-haruka always "heard" of john but he actually sees john for the first time after mikoto's guilty verdict in t2, and rightfully so hes very scared of him, but when he tries to approach mikoto on his birthday in 2022 (haruka was the first and only person to approach mikoto without bad intent ever since he got the guilty verdict and i cannot stop thinking abt that), he asks mikoto about what's been happening to try and understand and mikoto just. he tries his best to be strong but haruka can see that mikoto himself has no idea what's going on and is close to breaking down. haruka just hugs him gently, gently enough so mikoto can refuse the hug if he wants, but mikoto doesnt. haruka does his best to comfort mikoto from his guilty verdict, even though he doesnt really understand. all he knows is that his friend is a good person and he wants to comfort and understand him the best he can. and then at one point haruka approaches mikoto to try and talk to him and john is fronting!!!

-so this is like harukas first time actually interacting with john. hes like Oh no. i came to talk to my friend but now hes in the Scary state (he doesnt know yet what DID is) what do i do im scared. but he actually tries totalk to john. and john is surprised that haruka, although scared of him, actually tries to talk to him and understand him. john tries to calm himself to not scare haruka further and they have a long talk, mainly haruka trying to understand john. they get closer after this

-at one point john just asks. hey why are you still trying to approach me. I'm scaring everyone off and ruining your friend's life you should be scared of me. you should be viewing me like a monster. but haruka out of everyone understands what it feels like, being viewed as a monster for a mental condition. its why he's in milgram after all. and he realizes just how similar him and john are and hes like "..uh uuh. nobody should be viewed as evil for being mentally distressed right?" and him and john both start to see some positives in themselves, haruka because "hey if my friend is a good person even though he gets scary (when john fronts) maybe i can be a good person too." and john for a similar reason because "hey if this kid here has allegedly committed a murder too but can still be so nice (probably the only nice person to john) maybe i can still have a chance to Not ruin mikoto's life"

-ohmy gosh im so sorry I spoke too much righ t aaaa.... so sorry... but john feels protective of both mikoto and haruka after this. 0109 siblings are the realest ever and i have more abt haruka and john but ill stop here hehe I hope you like these!!!

[duskvivie]

Possibly Quiting DeviantART...

So some of you guys may not know that I originally started posting my artwork over on DeviantART. I made my account over ten years ago, I was of course 14 at the time of making the account and originally I started out with making a bunch of Pokemon stuff before moving into other fandoms and what not.

However as of lately things have really changed after DeviantART went through with not only changing their logo symbol but also completely revamping the site to something unrecognizable. Lets also mention the fact that their memberships were originally referred to as Premium Memberships which gave you certain benefits that was worth the money at one point, hell there was a time where you could just subscribe for a membership that was literally only $5 a month, very much affordable. They also had other choices too including a seven year membership that was worth $200 literally. But since the site has revamped they are now down to three different membership types and changed Premium Memberships to be called Core Memberships now.

DeviantART was once a pretty decent site that still had its fair share of....not so great staff working the site. Nowadays with the new look, it seems the site is just trying to keep up with certain trends while also still being helpful to Artists by having a system that prevents NFTs being made of another person’s artwork....HOWEVER there is a catch with this new system as it only protects your work if you have a Core Membership, if you do not have a Core Membership then you are out of luck and anyone can try and take your artwork and turn it into an NFT.

With the introduction of AI Art now, DeviantART not surprisingly has also followed along into that trend and has now introduced an AI program to make AI Art with. It’s at a point where the site is beyond recognition. The only thing that keeps the site the same are the certain types of people who still run around on it, including certain types of artists.

At this point a lot of great artists are leaving the platform and I myself likely may as well do the same since I feel that the site is no longer how I remember it. I remember going a long time without ever going back and not even uploading anymore but it’s to a point where a lot of the people I met on that platform have just...left and likely moved onto other platforms to post their artwork on. I think perhaps it is time I do the same, I already found other places I can upload my work on and still get some fair attention, while my art still gets some views and likes on DeviantART....it’s not the same anymore as at times I did receive some comments, while it’s not an issue to not receive them....there is just something about how the site feels now that doesn’t....make it feel the same even when receiving comments. I think I should also state that what doesnt give it that nice charm or sparkle to it is when you do have people who try to sound nice by saying the art is nice and then immediately want to request you when you are not open for Requests (I had this happen before twice with the same person on the website), the moment you tell them that you are not intending on doing requests.....they immediately lose interest in you and move on since you will not give them what you want. At least that is something that has never changed about some users on DeviantART, the freeloaders on that platform.

Anyways maybe this is a good stopping point. I am going to give myself until Saturday to decide on if I wanna deactivate my Account on there, if I do I will be deactivating it by 11:59PM on December 31st. The day before I will be deleting any and all of my works on that site so no one can try and take them while the account is no longer active anymore. I will also be closing down the Groups I have made as well on that same exact day. But I still have to decide first, I will give an update on my account on there on what I decide to do.

Anyways have a good night everyone.

[snow-wind-and-all-we-will-find]

Hi! My names arthur and im working on improving my word and building my story, which currently has no name haha! I have a myriad of characters who ill try to list out and give brief descriptions of, aether is technically my main character and some of the characters who are up for question are dead in canon. But you can still ask them stuff, itll just be set before death.

When asking characters questions, rememeber to include the name, their age if theres diffrent ages, i dont mind repeated questions, but if you see the question try not to ask it again lol. If you cant find it with a quick scroll just ask it, although i dont know if this blog will even get that big.

Aether

He comes in three evolutions lol, technically, theres four but idk if i would count 7 year old aether.

Ages: 13 yo - colder, hasnt gotten used to emotions, there are two to this as well, pre-rev and then post-rev 13 yo aether, remember to specify lol.

16 yo- a bit more out there, still kinda disconnected and figuring things out, a bit more defensive

22 yo- lax, hes sorta figured shit out, hes not going to go grazy, hes just gonna be chill lol.

!The gaggle Ghosts!

Yurei

Her personality is very, ehhh, becuase i havnt done work with her, and i havnt completly figured out who she is fully yet, shes 18 yo when aether is 22 yo

18 yo- pretty oblivious, somehow still a bit cynical, very nice and sometimes motherly

Kakoku

Few thousand- mean, likes to bully yurei as he huants her, lowkey a simp for yurei but he wont admit that. Kinda cynical and likes to bring others down, generally a bully

Tamashi

19- emotionless, has to be a really strong emotion to make her emote, tends to stray away from other people, likes to be alone, blunt

Gunnar

A few thousand- sweet, warm and welcoming, tries to be very fatherly and a trusted figure, is very busy most of the tiime unfortunatly though.

!The greek gang!

Argus agapov

16- unstable, pretty baby, protective over friends and family

Mythos agapov

23- whore. He also loves his family, lowkey, hes a trad wife

Perceus

15/16- timid, intrested in posiosn and acids, generally quiet, likes to eat leaves, scaredy cat

Diogenes

14- germ of phobe, kind of a brat, more just a bitch, will yell at you if he sees your hands were dirty from gardening or something while you’re walking to the sink, other than that hes fine, picky eater

Herodotus

15- disorginized, trys his best, likes to write stuff down, helps plato with his writing and grammar in general, gullible, likes record data, has a nice typewriter with tha good clicky clack

Plato

8- sweet baby boi, loves his older brother (socrates), idolizes him even, not a good idea though. He writes down everything socrates does, sometimes he imitates his brother as well.

Socrates

17- dumb of ass, also just dumb, held back a grade, feral child, bites alot of people, soft aestechic but hed stab as a warning

Heracles

30- also dumb of ass, loves cars in that ‘mah babeh’ kinda way. Hates motorcycles, he thinks they’re ugly. Chaotic but he utilizes it to be the weird and cool uncle/cousin thing

Zeus

46- too tired for this shit, is a dad, went out to get milk, jk jk, dissapeared for a hot few years, probably got captured by some gang dunno, it happens. Very serious, would make the dumbest jokes with his brothers with a straight face

Hades

50- lowkey the neglected middle child, soft goth lookin ass, loves his kid, tries his best to raise his kid, sometimes gets help from esme

Poseidon

57- proud stay at home dad, buff but does the typically wifely duties, makes sure his children get enough love, nutrience and care

Lillith

54- very active, the money maker, kinda soft, both her and her husband poseidon are so just in love with their kids, dote on them constantly, very extroverted, always makes time for her kids

Esme

51- tired of zeus’ shit, does her best to make sure no one dies, still treats mythos as her ‘little baby boy, tired mom vibes.

!the Eden gang!

Eden is a fictional country that i slapped onto the globe. It is where aether is from, technically aether is apart of the eden gang as well. Everyone here, if they have an age option, the first age option is the age they are when aether is 13, and the second will be when aether is 16 unless stated otherwise

General kyelli

49- fatherly, thinks of most of the gang as his children, calls everyone ‘son’, as a general rule. If you ask for another nickname, he will do his best. Has a bad knee, and is kinda of bad at existing physically

52+- fatherly still, loves almonds, always has a bag of almonds, dont test him. Enjoys travel, might adopt people he meets along the way, still has pains but now he sees doctors, wants to stay active

Indigo

13- sweet, optimistic, always looks on the brightside and tries to see the good in others. Little heater, understands that sometimes fighting is the only option

Akrano

16- lively, very loose and relax, can get serious when needed though, always making jokes and trying to lighten up the mood

19- a bit more, mellow. Still quite lively and childish, but with two signifigant-others you have to settle down sometimes

Ekrano

16- lively, more stern than akrano and kinda worried, but ultimatly also very loose and bright

Lilliana

16- serious, seemingly colder towards everyone, gets along great with psycho-lops, makes him new eye-patches to pass time, actually just very monotone and blank most of the time, although she does care

19- she doesnt change much, she got a bit more expressive, likes babysitting howl

Psycho-lops

16 1/2- always looks determined, actually kinda scared of conflict, likes to help out with healing though, very proficient in it as well, sounds intimidating while talking about how cute puppies and kittens are

19/20- still the same, is considering studying medicine and medical practices to become a doctor.

Bark

17- bright, incredibly lively, loves to joke around and tease and sometimes bully the others, targets aether primarily, hangs out with his brother most of the time, he can fight for himself but he likes the backup, especcially since he is kinda glass-jawed, being that hes a twig

Bite

17- quiet, intense eyes, always sounds vaugly confused when he speaks, deep voice lol, likes to train, doesnt understand barks need to tease others, likes to read to the children

20- quiet, intense eyes still, more so nervous sounding, slightly paranoid, cluastrophobic and cant stand dusty places, usually in his house or at the docks, doesnt really go anywhere else

Hanelle

17- loud, headstrong, adamant about her opinions, gets along well with bark, she tries alot to be intimidating, not a twig, but not very big, pretty friendly and sociable

!the band of pirates!

Aklea

A few hundreds of years- kinda bored seeming, loves blood, technically cannibal, but not really since he isnt human, to an extent. Despite being fine on the ocean, he gets very car sick very easily. Actually quite nice, very easily triggerd into violence, especcially by something that could be used as a good murder weapon, blood makes him jittery and more lively

Nerone

21- calm, too calm, deals with akleas bullshit wonerfully, he just stands there, blank smile on his face as aklea beats the shit outta someone, unintrested in most anything, likes to draw, but hes a much better pastry chef.

!the shakespears!

Midem(pink boi)

33- lively, loves to work with kids, very creative, likes to make things, mainly art, mainly carvings. Often make little minitures of scenes from midens writing, loves his twin, does anything it takes to fund midens intrests. Very loving to those hes close to

Miden

33- calmer by alot lmao, pretty introverted but he can hold a long conversation without becoming too drained, enjoys writing and making stories, also makes plays for fun, runs off little sleep cuase he stays up so late to write, and gets up early to write.

!gods!

Gideon

9 billion- confused boomer, loves his ‘children’, hates to be hated, always tries to help in anyway he can, despite making them, always curious into what mortals are doing, loves the universe he created and does anything he can to protect it

Merik

7 million- sore loser, does get a little salty, ultimatly bounces back and becomes a very good sport, always will adopt tactics, whatever it takes to win within the rules, keeps most all of his trophies from random feats hes done

Ventus

5 billion - calm, straightforward, tends to disregard others and do things himself, likes to sit on cliffs and watch the ocean

Kyle

Hes been around since 776 bc- very loud, lively, bright, tries his best to educate people on proper form, workout regime i intesne, doesnt allow others to take it, makes custom workout regimes for free, owns a gym, dude bro but hes nice, baby

Horo-sha

Her age technicaly is not accurate, shes like, 2 billion? Since dima was made right after her death. But since her history still lives, ima count it

5 billion but older than ventus- bitter, violent, former god of justice, fucking dead haha, hates mortals, primarily humans

Dima

Also not super accurate, hed only be a few centuries of being an active god before being sealed, but since hes technically, concious and has cognitive function hes counted

3 billion- mean lol, likes blood and gets even more violent when it starts getting messy, ‘new’ god of justice, uh, pretty bad at it like the last one, but worse, will kill over slight misdeameanors, everythings a crime smh

!misc!

Ivan

24- softspoken, from imperial russia, died young, he no longer feels his face is his own, has a mask that he likes better, has the sickness, but since he was human it killed him, can control it post mortem, is strong enough to be seen, but weak enough he can go invisible and go through solid objects.

More ocs will be added when i remember them, or create new ones, characters i dont really have built at all are not included

[pinkvhs]

this has been a long time coming

ive detached from jack / dont watch jack anymore. i’ve poured so much into this story that involved the egos that i just....can’t let it go. so, im making ocs for the story instead. 

inspired by @lilakennedy . . . here is some info about my boys

Marvin the Magnificent➜ Marvin Lir MacKenna 

age: 27- from the 1920s

Brown wavy hair that goes to past his ears a bit

Blue eyes

Height: 5′7″

irish & welsh ( mother from wales father from ireland ) 

an illusionist / performer 

 Stage performance & regular attitude are a complete 180. Very bold on stage and confident but once he is off he is more reserved and calm

Best friends with Daniel

Knew Daniel for years, since they were around 10 years old. Extremely close bond.

Doesn’t believe in spirits but is very cautious / superstitious 

Gets powers whenever he and Daniel accidentally summon Phonus at Daniel’s Birthday/Halloween party. When it was just the two of them alone. 

He tries to attack Phonus since the monster killed Daniel 

but once he made contact with the demon, he was immediately teleported into our timeline. He took some of Phonus’s powers as a result 

He ends up getting burn marks on his arms/hands and face due to trying to physically fight Phonus when he was furious 

He has powers now, some he doesn’t know he can do yet. But his powers are: ✪= Not used often. ✦= strongest. ✧=weakest

✦ Empathic Element Manipulation ✦✪Fire Manipulation, ✦✪Necromancy, ✦Telekinesis,✦Kinetic Charging

✧✪Electricity Manipulation, ✦Magical Wall Generation, ✦Teleportation, ✧Intangibility, ✧Healing Hands, ✦✪Naturakinetic Combat

Riley finds him and helps him on his feet to find a place to stay

The two of them become close friends eventually, it takes a long time for Marv to warm up to people in this strange new environment- still tortured by that night. 

He blames himself for Daniels death every day. 

With his new unknown powers, he tries to go back in time to stop all this from happening. 

He opens up about his powers to Riley and the truth. 

Riley is beyond amazed that powers and magic exist, he tries to help Marv with his powers. 

He ends up needing to find a sort of job to stay at his home, so he tries the one thing he loved- entertaining people. With his magic, he dumbfounds audiences. 

However, once things were just looking up, his fire magic (the strongest) goes wrong.

He ends up catching a stage set on fire, causing injuries to hundreds. 

He panics. Riley tries to calm him down. But he can’t take it, he is convinced that he is destined to cause harm with these powers. 

He vanishes to a place by the sea and isolates himself, causing people to believe he died in the fire accident. 

He spends his time trying to prefect time travel and is consumed by isolation. though, he does attract wild life to him. they are very at ease with him

Refuses to use his fire magic 

One day, he comes across Viktor’s body on the shore. He takes him in quickly to his small home that he protected in case Phonus ever finds him.

He revives Viktor to come to. The stranger is a total mess and he tries to heal the man, but Viktor grabs him on reflex. So the man patches himself up

The two live together for a few months as the injuries heal up

Viktor convinces him to visit Riley again, so he does.

He teleports there and leaves a note stating that he is alive. He can’t bring himself to see Riley face to face

In the end, he tries to fight off Phonus. He fails miserably

He returns to his home, having Riley there with him. He gives Riley his powers because he doesn’t want to die and these powers go back to Phonus.

He trusts Riley with his life

Once Riley is given the powers, he passes away.

When his body is all alone peacefully at rest in the home, without any magic to protect it, Phonus finds the body

But no magic

The demon still takes the body. Using it to wake him up again and look into his mind to find out where the powers have gone

He remains a soul bounded victim to Phonus and reunites with Daniel

Both under Phonus’s control

Chase Brody➜ Noah Oliver Dodge

age: 29 - from our timeline

messy brown hair thats dyed blonde at the tips of it

brown eyes

Height: 5′9″

American

Dropped out of university and works part time at a local electronics store

loves to break things and try to fix them up again and make it totally new! 

has a passion for computers and likes to make his own computer 

he also loves film and had dreams of making a film 

a disaster cook but god help him he tries 

Father of 2 girls 

childish and fun loving 

reckless at times 

loves nature and going on walks / hikes 

met his wife in high school (been together since they were 16) 

they go to the same university, his wife studying to be a nurse 

at 18 he accidentally gets her pregnant and her parents arent the happiest about it

they get married at 19 

he becomes a stay at home dad and drops out to take care of their baby till she finishes nursing

they end up having another child once they get a small apartment together 

his daughter is friends with Viktors daughter and thats how the two families meet 

His wife actually works with Viktor and didn’t know at the time

his wife divorces him because, even though she does love him, she can’t keep working like this just to get by. she needs security and they dont have it. 

he is allowed to see his kids still but at the time it was very painful for him

he lives alone in that apartment, often calling Viktor to talk and invite him over so he doesn’t do shit he regrets 

he talks about how Viktor is so lucky to have such a wonderful life and wishes he could have that (since he doesn’t know the truth)

Viktor and Noah become very close and often have their kids over at each others houses

he hears news that Viktor is missing and becomes a mess. he is alone and doesnt know what to do. 

he tries to make it known that he is missing online, making posts and videos as much as he can to get peoples attention 

he visits the Valentin house hold and offers his wife any help thats needed, despite knowing all the turmoil they went though. he cares about the kids and doesn’t want them to worry. 

Henrik Von Schneeplestein➜ Viktor Alexis Valentin

age: 32 -from our timeline 

short grey hair

extremely pale blue eyes

pale, almost sickly skin 

Height: 6′2″

German

Doctor that specializes in internal medicine (meaning he focuses on helping adults) but also is a surgeon

Father of 3 girls

loves to bake! 

a hopeless romantic actually

he is very cold and standoff ish but once he loves you, he LOVES you

blunt to a fault still though

cares about people. more so than his own well being

extremely loyal

met his wife in university. he took an anatomy art class 

his wife helped him improve his drawing skills and the two became close

he fell for her very hard 

they get married and live in a house that they saved up for (with extra help from both of their parents)

once settled, they have their children 

his wife is a biology teacher with a minor in art teaching! 

he takes family trips whenever he can to the beach! his kids love the ocean!

he comes home one day to find his wife cheated on him- he suspected this for a while now. he found a shirt underneath the bed, thinking it was just a gift for later down the road for christmas or something. he went to fix it when a piece of paper fell out of the pocket. her phone number

he never gets mad at her. he blames himself

he thinks he isnt perfect enough

he becomes extremely distant and cold, more than before. never knowing when to bring it up

the two of them grow apart but still live together

they make sure not to worry their children though, they dont want them to think its their fault. 

he never brings up this information to Noah because he doesn’t want him to worry. 

very envious of Noah though and wish he would smack him. Noah has a wife that loves him and he wishes that Noah could wake up and see that and fix his actions. 

he does break down one night and tell Noah everything that happened

one day at the office, a man came in with a horrible neck injury. 

he typically sees people who just need some medication or the worst injury being a bite from a dog, but even that wasn’t bad. 

he rushes to take care of the stranger. once they were alone for a brief second, he gets trapped inside. 

Phonus used Daniels body in order to get to the Doctor. He attacks and possesses Viktor. 

Once Phonus is done using Viktor, he takes him to a cliff near the sea

He is snaps his neck and lets the body fall into the ocean. 

Eventually, he washes up to shore where Marvin is

he stays with marvin for months while he heals up himself, he refuses to get any magic help

once he decides to leave marvin has a hard time letting go, he is worried viktor will fall victim to phonus again 

he leaves to go home but once he reaches the steps, phonus finds him again. 

Jackieboy Man➜ Riley Lee Young

age: 23 - from our timeline 

very curly blonde hair

green eyes

skin that tans pretty easily 

the most muscular out of the lads but isnt extremely buff 

Height: 5′6″

American

Lives alone in a small apartment 

a college student, unsure what to major in but possibly wants to be a vet

LOVES animals! 

a vegetarian ! 

a pretty good cook actually! 

has a heart of gold and sees the best in most people, though he isn’t stupid. he knows there are terrible people in the world that can’t change and deserve punches to the face

he watches pets and volunteers at animal shelters!

he also babysits Viktors kids to get some money

was kicked out of his home. Viktor found out about it and bought him a small apartment to live in. (he would of offered Riley to stay but he has issues at home that he doesn’t want to subject Riley to on the daily)

he is the girls big brother figure and he loves to pay pretend with them ! 

He meets Marvin and they eventually become friends

he helps Marvin gain back confidence, giving him a place to stay, and helps him actually feel . . at home in this timeline 

when he finds out the truth that marvin is from the 1920s and has powers he cannot get over how cool it is! calling him a super hero and showing him comics that he has. he helps marvin try to get a better hold on the powers

he was around whenever the fire accident with marvins powers happen, he tries to calm marvin down but ends up alone. left to wonder what happened to his friend. 

When he has to start university up again he has to let the Valentin family know that he can’t be around as much as before but will try to help out if needed 

Viktor’s wife ends up calling Riley one day and begs him to come to the house as soon as he can for Viktor has been missing for days now

Riley puts up posters and gets the news out that Viktor is missing as much as he can around the city. 

He still goes to university but spends a lot of time in the Valentin household. Visiting on holidays and the girls birthdays. Having no news of Viktor. 

he later on gains marvins powers, his mainly being electricity and strength. 

he is set on finding phonus and fixing things for marvins sake 

Jameson Jackson➜ Daniel Edmund Thomas

age: 27 - from the 1920s

slicked short black hair

brown eyes

Height: 5′7″

British

a charming, bold, charismatic man 

an actor and musician, exceptionally good on piano

very witty and clever

lives a rather extravagant life 

very close friends with Marvin, trusts him with his life

on his 27th birthday on Halloween, he throws a party

he loves to mess around with guests and asks Marvin if they can have a a seance

they try it to entertain the guests, but nothing happens (to marvins relief) 

the party continues on till its just marvin and him by the end of the night

they try again to contact from the beyond

they succeed 

he comes face to face with the demon. an invisible hand causing him to kill himself. making Marvin watch 

he becomes Antiphonus’s personal toy 

his mind becomes warped and he loses all sense of who he used to be

he tries to fight back, but once he does, his tongue is cut out of his mouth. never to be able to voice for help again 

his body now bound to Phonus becomes a personal pin cushion. being cut open and inspected to see how far humans have come with healing themselves. to see how far a human body can handle things

being trapped with phonus he starts to believe that Marvin caused his death. he believes everything phonus tells him and is set on killing marvin 

he becomes very aware of realities all thanks to Phonus. 

Antisepticeye➜ Antiphonus

age: unknown. 

an immortal being / demon

seems to have been around for centuries 

first appears invisible, then a shadow figure, to a pitch black faceless figure that takes on more of a human shape - till finally, he appears to look like Daniel 

he is fascinated with humans, very curious and destructive 

he takes Daniel in as a host. he rests inside of Daniel’s body till he is strong enough to mimic the physical outer appearance of him

when he possesses people becomes stronger. he doesnt have full control right away, it takes him a bit of time to warm up once again to how powerful he used to be. 

he can see into his victims mind when possessing them, he knows all what Daniel knows / remembers. Daniels fame, fears, friendship. family, love- he knows it all. 

He uses this to his advantage to keep Daniel around without fighting him back- using Marvin against him

he is after the powers that he accidentally gave to Marvin on impact

he travels to the dimensions he has access to and time lines in hopes to find Marvin, taking Daniel along with no choice

he lands in our dimension and timeline to sense that his powers are close by

He ends up sabotaging Marvin’s performance with fire magic in order to kill him or capture him but it fails- he looses sight of him

While he is searching through the streets, he over hears talk about the human body. He comes across Viktors practice building and opens the door a crack. He can sense so many souls and blood in that building and gets vastly curious. He notices people injured and ill, waiting for care. He hatches an idea. 

 He returns to Daniel and possesses his body. He takes Daniel to an alley way close to the building, away from the eyes of others. He grabs the sharpest thing he can find and plunges it deep into the side of his neck and carves it out slowly and rips it out. 

He quickly makes Daniel reach the building and barges in, causing everyone to look on in horror. The nurses there rush to his aid as Phonus makes Daniel gasp and hold his neck to try to stop the bleeding. Nurses page for Viktor asap as they get Daniel to a stretcher and room fast.  Viktor arrives shortly after and is fast to help Daniel. Daniel just looks at Viktor and tries to nod. 

Once the nurses leave for a brief moment and its just him and Viktor, Phonus makes the door lock them inside.

Viktor goes to inject him with medication but Daniel reaches out and grabs Viktors arm. He say to Daniel that he knows needles are scary but you need this now, let go please. Daniel sits up and twists Viktors arm, causing Viktor to wince in pain while looking shocked. 

He grabs Daniels hand with his free one and tries to pry it away, but can't. Daniel kicks him away, causing him to stumble and fall to the ground. He gets up from the bed. The lights inside the room begin to flicker faster and faster. Electronics in the room flickering on and off, radios and tv consumed with fast stations, fluctuating volumes, and static. Viktor gets to his feet and hears all this noise and sees this horror in front of him. 

Phonus leaves Daniels body, causing Daniel's wound to disappear. Phonus stands in front of him.

He gets inside of Viktors mind to find all that he can about the human body and the amount of pain that it can handle. 

He sees in Viktors mind a young man with curly blonde hair. And for a brief moment inside of Viktors mind, he sees Marvin 

in the end he ends up taking Marvin captive but finds that the powers are gone. 

he keeps marvin around because he sees too, that he gave that blonde boy his powers

so he is on the hunt for Riley 

[sweetescapeartist]

Since there is barely anybody that looks at this blog now, imma say some things now that I'll reveal later on Twitter (maybe). Also this is gonna be a long read so you can read if you wanna or not. Its kinda a rant.

I started this blog because I liked Dragon Ball and wanted to share my ideas and things I liked with other fans. I enjoyed that. Krillin is my favorite character so I wanted to show him some love & maybe get more ppl to like him. Then eventually I started drawing nsfw art.

I began doing so because there's a great lack of Krillin positive nsfw art. Eventually on my Twitter, I gathered a following that like to see Krillin getting some love. I also went from sfw with my OC Tobi to drawing nsfw. The problem I have with both is that I don't have time as much to draw what is like to. Nor do I care as much for nsfw art.

So this is what I'm trying to say. I have other things I want to do. I draw for free and accept some requests. I'm not getting paid and I feel like I'm wasting my time somewhat. The positive is that more ppl have come to like Krillin and hopefully more will later. There aren't a lot of nsfw artist that promote Krillin. Its all about Saiyans and I understand why. I like Saiyans too. But its always at the expense of human characters that I like especially Krillin.

"Vegeta got beat up by 18 so he deserves to dick her down"

"18 should be with anyone else but Krillin. She should be with a Saiyan."

I'm seriously tired of it, ya know? Its just such negativity. I've tried to combat it with positivity and that does work but that's not what most ppl seem to care about or see. Krillin means a lot to many of us. Yes, we know he's a fictional character but he's someone we can latch on to and see ourselves in. How he constantly tries hard and doesnt give up despite having low self-esteem. He is very relatable and an encouraging character. So understand that it frustrates me and others when ppl keep making fun of a character we love just because of memes that are very innacurate, he's short, he's married to what most of the fandom consider the most attractive female in the series (so they're jealous of him to an extent), or when ppl downright degrade his character.

Why? Why treat a positive character so negatively? Ppl make fun of Krillin because he has PTSD but won't make fun of Future Trunks. They trash his marriage and make it seem as if 18 doesn't care for him because he has the most stable marriage in the series. They call his daughter an ugly troll but want to see her in hentai with some Saiyan. Such hypocrisy. That's why I've drawn some of the things I have.

There are drawings I've done that I haven't posted because they are so disrespectful to characters like Vegeta or Gohan. And I love Gohan so that's a reason why I never posted them. I'm a positive person but it seems many ppl only respond to negative. So here's what I've done/plan to do.

I have some comics planned to draw along with some pictures. The pictures vary on what they will be, but the comics... Here's what they are.

I will be making NTR comics starring Krillin but he is the main character. There are too many of him being portrayed as a wimp or punk that lets everybody get with 18 besides himself. Or its done behind his back. So I'm going to have Krillin taking other character's ladies from them. Yeah its negative in a way but also positive for Krillin. Maybe this can get the point across to ppl? Idk.

But I will make a comic where Krillin gets Videl, Bulma, & Chichi. I will make others where he gets into "situations" with characters like Kale & Caulifla, Cheelai, & others. I also plan to make a comic about Roshi basically being cucked by Krillin (you'll have to wait and see to understand that one). So that's what I have planned. Hentai comics with Krillin as the lead. Its unpopular and that is why I do it.

I'll make other more positive comics too. Like a comic about Krillin getting advice then marrying 18. Ill draw stories with my OC Tobi as he lives with Krillin and his family & dates Marron. It will focus on the Chestnut family and have father/son moments with Krillin & Tobi. And ill introduce other characters too.

But here's the big thing that contradicts everything I said prior. I don't want to draw DB anymore. The fan base has kinda wore me out but so has the direction the series has gone. In bored of the writing for DBS and it being solely about Goku & Vegeta when there are other characters like Gohan & Piccolo. Its a fighting anime so why would we only want to see 2 characters? God ki was introduced so that's an easy way for everyone to get stronger and involved. But its too corporate now and lazy. And the DBS manga... so terrible. Toyotaro is a much better artist than I am and not to talk bad about him but I think DragonGarowLee is much better for the position that Toyo. DGL knows how to choreograph fights better and understands Toriyama's comedy better. Toyo doesn't know how to write the characters. He makes Goku an uncaring idiot, makes Vegeta a poorly written Goku clone, makes fun of Krillin for no reason except he doesn't like him (seriously! He has called him ugly, weak, scared, useless, & had ppl like Goku and Roshi insult Krillin. Wtf?!), he doesnt know how to create a unique character without ripping off a character Tori has done much better. And the fanboys (& girls)

Gosh! The Vegeta fans are great but they can be crazy sometimes. They ignore all the evil Vegeta has done and ignore his flaws as if he's a perfect angel. Vegeta's flaws is what makes him such an interesting character! And him being different than Goku is a good thing. But there's a weird and false understanding of his character. "Vegeta is a better dad than Goku" sure. Vegeta just knocked up Bulma then left her as. Single mother and didn't care if she or his infant son died, never hugged his son until he was 10+ yrs old & didn't love Bulma until sometime during the 7 yr time skip. He was a terrible person in a terrible relationship! THEN he became a better person and actually loving to his family. That change is what make Vegeta great. Not his power level or how many kills he has or "cool moments."

That same twisted misunderstanding of Vegeta is similar to the misunderstanding of Krillin. Ppl think he's weak and a coward. But he fights aliens & beings stronger than him and even injures stronger opponents. He smiles in the face of danger and even gets excited during fights but is smart enough not to risk others lives. Krillin nearly killed Nappa, he would've finished Vegeta with the Spirit Bomb if Yajirobe didn't alert Vegeta that Krillin was attacking him, smart enough not to fight on Namek when they're outnumbered, took on aliens stronger than him, outsmarted them & escaped, protected both Gohan & Bulma, more skilled than Ginyu when he was in Goku's body, sacrificed his safety for others like Dende & Gohan, (for real tho, Vegeta didn't see 2nd form Freeza move but Krillin was fast enough to throw Dende out of the way and sacrifice his life. Krillin saw Freeza attacking and Vegeta who is supposed to be stronger did not see Freeza move!), he was the first person to actually damage Freeza and then taunted the Emperor of the Universe, he's always there for his friends, knew better than everybody else that if the androids defeated Vegeta & Trunks then he shouldn't get involved. He saved 18 who was innocent in this timeline, helped 16, wished for the bombs out of 17 & 18 so they could live normally. Then fast forward to DBS he fought to protect his family & planet & 18 calls him "cool", he conquers his PTSD and gained new power he always had but laid dormant, he defeated someone who actually hurt 18. & there are things he's done I didn't even mention.

And ppl constantly saying Goku is a bad dad. He's waaaaaaaay better of a father compared to Vegeta if were being honest.

I guess I've seen a lot of the negative side of the fandom and its disappointing. So I'm at a point where I kinda don't care. I'll make my comics but after I'm done with what I have planned, I'm just done with DB. I won't stop drawing entirely but I won't draw any requests unless I feel like it, I won't keep up with much DB news and content. I just want to come back to Tumblr, draw Krillin fanart, draw Tobi, write some rewrites, draw Tobi's story & that's it. Ill be a part of Chestnut Fest every year tho. That is one of the greatest things to come out of my time on Tumblr & Twitter. So big thanks to @chestnutisland!

But basically I'm tired of the fandom and I still enjoy parts of it but I want to do my own thing. So I'll partially be a part of the DB fandom but not in it too deep. Look forward to what I have in store. If some of my future content isn't to your liking, hopefully you ccan find something else I've done that you'll enjoy. But its still been fun & I've enjoyed the ppl I've talked too & friends I've made.

[meduise]

my own hibari headcanons

[reposting because of adult terminology crimes, lol]

been meaning to write down my list of hcs for a while anyway, and now i have the occasion to get to it! among the others im gonna add what i decided to avoid putting under this post and give more details about what i already wrote there

content/trigger warnings: death, assassination, mental illness, eating disorders

the list will be under the cut! it excludes my strictly shippy hcs and i may update it over time

first things first. like my own blog title suggests, i hc hibari as a trans guy.  i’m trans myself, so this is arguably the hc of mine im the most attached to for personal comfort reasons LOL. it all started when i read a fic about trans hibari a few years ago and later on i got more and more fond of this transcanon, becoming 100% personal. i also hc that he doesnt feel dysphoric. as for his sexuality i hc him as gay

we know that hibari and fon are relatives. my idea is that they’re step-brothers (different mother), and long lost to that. NOW. i realize that with the assumption of fon’s age, them being siblings is unlikely, but it shouldn’t be impossible. their father could be old enough. he got married to a chinese woman who gave birth to fon, then divorced, then got married again to a japanese woman, kyouya’s mom. (i kinda based this on my irls situation, where because of the parents’ second marriage there is at least a good 20 years of gap between the oldest and youngest sibling)

the hibari family was part of the yakuza. to answer a question that was made to me: i agree that hibari “just liking fighting” isnt funny at all. i heavily believe that there’s a psychological reason to his behavior but im going to talk about this in another point below. i also think that hibari was probably the heir to the clan, but here in my head hibari is still too young for it, like 5-6 years old.

when hibari was a child his parents got killed in the hibari household. how could they get killed in their own house, didn’t they have enough protection? they did. but the guard was low considering who turned out to be their murderers were old, trusted allies. kyouya only survived because he managed to hide properly and long enough. he didnt witness the assassination but he did see his parents in a pool of blood after everything ended. before dying, his mom left a last message to him: be stronger than anyone else. because of the trauma, even in the present hibari avoids going back to that house as much as he can and especially he never reopens the door of the crime scene. hibari also still grows into a delinquent, but he dislikes the mafia world and wishes he didnt have to be involved with it

for a while, hibari is in fon’s mother’s custody. here is when he meets fon for the first time, over time they get very attached to one another, but because of the arcobaleno matters, fon goes disappearing, and hibari ends up assuming fon has died and left him behind just like this parents did. fon reappears and goes to meet hibari in occasion of the arcobaleno representative battles and of course wit trauma resurface and about 10 years of beliefs and assumptions hibari really, really struggles with this reunion, but eventually they bond again. (for this one i dont take into account the events in the anime only arcobaleno trial events, as well as the fact that we see all the arcobalenos revived at the end of the future arc)

hibari has an antisocial personality disorder (which implies he already had conduct disorders before the age of 15). it explains his violent and criminal behavior, as well as the fact that he doesn’t feel guilty for anything he does. he also suffers from ptsd and has eating disorders (i thought about the avoidant food intake, where, among the other symptoms, a person avoids to extreme levels some types of food because of characteristics such as their pattern or their color and generally lacks appetite/interest in food)

(wears my enneagram nerd hat) HIBARI IS A TYPE EIGHT. 8w7 precisely, aka the maverick. all about type eight is basically a call out to hibari lmfao but here’s the most relevant characteristics: eights are the real stand-alones of the enneagram. eights’ basic fear is to be harmed and controlled by others, and they steel up to prevent their basic fear from happening (or happening again). below the tough facade there is a vulnerability that cant be shown to anyone. their virtue is innocence, an innocence that they once and forever lost, and hibari basically lost it when his family was assassinated. eights are also associated to the deadly sin of lu st. for hibari its not necessarily the ns fw kinda lu st, rather bloodlu st. and its one big paradox because eights want to be in control of their surroundings, but being consumed by lu st means being under something/someone else’s control (and so we’re back to the basic fear). unhealthy eights are violent, despotic, reckless. all things we see in hibari. very unhealthy eights are also those who typically may develop the antisocial disorder, reason why i listed it above

since he wants to dominate his environment, hibari controls over the namimori and especially the school to feel “security”. he managed it through illegal means and pretty much lives in the school, namichuu is also one of the few places where usually he can sleep without having nightmares

yes, hibari loves sleeping but also he gets nightmares about his past more often than not

but i also love imagining hibari gradually healing and recovering from his trauma, so i do hc that in adulthood he’s mentally doing better. he can be a leader without being tyrannical. he can be strong while also acknowledging his own vulnerability. he is able to love again, too

the reason why he has a soft spot for little animals and children, like we see for ipin, is that he (unconsciously?) sees in them the innocence he himself lost. plus tiny and cute things help him cope when he is having episodes

he also treats ipin well because she is fon’s pupil. and i love to think of them as a little family

if hibari has a ring he really likes or is emotionally attached to he makes sure to never wear it on his fingers so he doesnt risk breaking it with his flames

hibari is pretty much a nerd, in his own twisted way. i mean. he’s seen reading in a bunch of official arts and we know that he’s very fond of the wonders of the world, he started up the foundation for his box researches and he knows well how illusions work - which means he studied them. since he was moved by his hatred towards mukuro, his illusion studies must have reached an unhealthy level, becoming an obsession

fon trained hibari on how to fight against illusions as well

for hibari, finding out he has mist flames too was very much of a shock, but he eventually accepts it. he only uses those flames if really needed (like the foundation entry camouflage)

i will get back to this post when i’ll have established:

why hibari picks tonfas as his weapons (i already have an idea but i havent gone into details myself enough to write about it here)

hibari’s parents and fon’s mother’s name

anything relevant that i forgot or come up with

[peachpeachtea]

Region base leaders/apprentices

I briefly mentioned the leaders and their kiddos on the last post so we’re gonna get into them now here we goooo (excuse the old art on my part i dont have time to make new refs--also all artists/contributors will be tagged accordingly) 

Lark Base--Base Leader, Cadi--Apprentice, Marna  Cadi: She’s the youngest of the 6 base leaders stationed in Asnia (At 20), and the most temperamental. She values hard work and independence, and despises it when people try to coddle or underestimate her abilities. While she runs a tight ship, she tends to be brash, LOUD, and impatient overall,--she’s self assured and very much carries her pride for everyone to see. Her partner is a Dubwool, Clementine, and in her spare time, Cadi has a herd of Wooloo that she takes care off and is v e ry protective over--she often spends nights taking care of them and making sure no trespassers startle the sheepies (and if she catches anyone they get whacked with her staff at BEST--her neighbors aren’t unaccustomed to hearing loud, Galarian swearing in the middle of the night). On that note: she has a really bad sailor mouth. 

Marna: Similar to how Cadi is the youngest of the leaders, Marna is the youngest of the current apprentices in the region. She has a curious nature, and is a bit of an energetic busy bee, who rarely has time or patience to sit down/relax--she’s constantly working on something or another, whether it’s helping Cadi do paperwork (see: doing it for her because Cadi is incapable of filing decent paperwork and Marna cannot stand disorganization), or working in her normal duties. Her work ethic is, in a word, unreal, and that’s one of the reasons why Cadi values her so much as an apprentice and friend. Marna tends to be a bit picky and stuffy, but she thrives in her work and loves helping people. She’s the one to ask the most questions/the one to have the most answers. She’s also loves birds!! Swablu, Cirrus, is a testament to that. She loves him and he can usually be seen perched on her head sleeping. 

-------- Cypress Base--Base Leader, Hades--Apprentice, Lethe  Hades: The leader of the north mountain base, Hades is a confident transman who leads with a rather cool head. In his past he was a very feared individual known as "Hel, ruler of hell" due to his grip on the gang life of the region. He's done things he's not proud of and would likely never talk about. A skilled climber and dedicated to his job and training of his partner Drednaw Cerberus-- he's just a supportive dad figure. Has known Russell for many years, and as mentioned, is a sort of father figure to Lethe. 

(Hades and his art belongs to @edwardsbraid btw!)  Lethe: The least energetic of the apprentices, Lethe is a troubled but soft hearted boy who didn’t intend to become a Ranger at all--he was living by himself with no income for years, on account of having no parents to speak of (abandonment issues ahoy)--his recommendation to the academy was a complete accident, but the school had free boarding and it gave him a purpose, so he took the opportunity while he had it. While he loves what he does, and has made two good friends out of this, he’s struggling to come to terms with his issues and struggles to keep up with his peers.  He tends to be a trouble magnet, so the plot hammer will not be kind to him umu. He’s a bit indecisive, timid and an easy crier, but he genuinely loves pokemon/people and wants to be of use to everyone somehow. He’s not much of a logistical thinker but he’s definitely not a push over physically, which comes in handy--he has no partner pokemon for plot reasons that i will reveal later. 

---------- Red Oak Base (Base is still in development so this portion is likely to be updated in the future)--Base Leader, Bridget--Apprentice, Alex

Bridget: Bridget- A senior base leader with a strong sense of morality and an attitude to back it, she has no trouble rearing in even the most stubborn of rangers. Only the most confident and worthy are able to perform an apprenticeship under her and are expected to take over all Union duties alongside the Base Leader role. In times of peace and outside of work, she enjoys quiet days in her cottage with her trusted Luxray (Queenie) and looking after her Granddaughter Fraise. Her base is integral to communications between the south and north sides of Asnia Rangers, because geographically it’s in the exact center of the region (and her area has the best weather of the two sides). This is typically where all the leaders and apprentices meet up for important meetings and such. 

  Alex: Bridget’s apprentice and a stubborn lad--he and Bridget are often bickering with each other. He’s a dumb little hothead who likes to challenge people and bicker with his mentor. He and her fight like siblings and poke fun at each other’s age (he calls her Granny). Will do things just because someone says he can’t (IE try to lift a log twice his size just because someone said he couldn’t), eagerly and affectionately combative. Possibly has a crush on one of the other apprentices but umu thats a topic for later. 

(Both Alex and Bridget belong to @humanblt​!)

--------- Willow Base--Leader, Russell, Apprentice-- Hestia  Russell:  A former violent tempered and loud mouthed delinquent, used to be Hades literal partner in crime and has been his close friend for many years--eventually, after some personal events that i’ll get into later, Russell got tired of his crime sprees. He has since turned over a new leaf and is a quiet, amicable young man who wouldn't hurt a fly--he’s determined to get as far away from his past as possible, to the point where he dropped his real name and decided to go by Russell. He refuses to hurt people if the need isn't dire, and has been labeled as a weenie for his pacifistic behavior/even temper. While soft hearted, he can be stern, and isn’t afraid to be tough when needed. Dearly loves his town and his new life as a peacekeeper. Terrified of ghosts/creepy places (ironic because he works in the spooky part of Asnia--the local ghost types like to pick on him). Usually seen helping old ladies across the street and chopping fire wood--very sensitive about his age and scarred face, and cries when someone points out a gray hair. Has a Corviknight, Cobalt, who is usually perched at the top of the base. In charge of keeping people out of the deeper part of the woods behind his town. Has a long term crush on Carys and clams up when she's around.

(art done as a collaborative by me and  roseheart-exe)  Hestia: Hestia is a cryptic but very sweet and dedicated girl from regions unknown. She often gives off the vibes that she knows more than she lets on, and often speak in riddles or vague non sequiturs. Locals tend to be unnerved by her general disposition, comparing her to a “ghost, at best”. She hates fire, is creeped out by dolls of any sort, and is easy to startle, despite her best efforts to appear calm and collected. Hestia tries to be kind and amiable, and loves her few friends very deeply, but she’s incredibly stubborn and refuses help when she needs it. Her upbringing made her a firm believer in self reliance. She dislikes people who pry or ask too many questions, and worries over others constantly. She looks up to Russell as a mentor and is especially close to him. Her Pokemon is a Lampent, Chandelle (Chandy). She’s never seen without her hat or her lantern, which glows very dimly--she’s very possessive of them and avoids questions regarding either. Incredibly difficult to make her cry: some people are convinced she can’t. Very sensitive, feelings hurt easily--May or may not be pining after one of her base colleagues, who we will get to in another post. Tends to go “Teehee” when dodging questions or lying. Cadi’s current greatest enemy, because Hestia wanders at night and has accidentally startled her sheep on multiple occasions. 

------- Seabream Base--Leader, Ripley--Apprentice, Melanie  Ripley: Ripley: A beachside base leader!! Very beautiful, but also very terrifying to many. She broke a man’s arm once, and while the context has been lost to time, the reputation she got from it remains strong. Isn’t afraid to flex her reputation when it suits her. Has a mermaid-esque beauty that has earned her a fan club. Her base members are her family, and she is a fierce mama bear when it comes to protecting them. Has a Sharpedo, Shin. Became close with Hestia after a few plot related happenings. 

(Ripley and her art belong to @nimikyu​!)  Melanie: A bright and upbeat former lounge singer working under Ripley, loves nothing more than making people smile and smiling in return. Incredibly patient and impossible to piss off, and loves writing letters to her friend in Pinnate base and sending her little gifts. Tends to be a bit oblivious when not working, often described as having her head in the clouds. Takes her job more seriously than she lets on, and works incredibly hard to meet her Leader’s standards--she admires Ripley more than anyone--Melanie also is incredibly popular because of her former status as a singer so she gets way more attention that she bargained form--but she’s an entertainer at heart and tourists love her, which is why she’s in charge of them/in charge of making sure they don’t wander places they shouldn’t. Has a Wingull, Rio, who sometimes delivers her letters. Makes necklaces as a hobby. 

------- Pinnate Base--Leader, Carys--Apprentice, Rudy  Carys: Cadi’s older sister--A mild mannered, surprisingly strong young woman from Galar. Much calmer and levelheaded than her baby sister, although, sometimes she's too calm, and can come off as overly-relaxed and airheaded. An incredible swimmer, she also works part time as a life guard in her spare time. Cheerful and smiley, eager to help, spends alot of time with the local kids/local elders. (Not to say that she doesnt have a temper, because if you set her off you'll be subjected to Cadi 2.0). Tries to offer help to her sister often, only to be vehemently refused over and over. Can beat all the sailors in her town at arm wrestling, wears sunscreen on her face to encourage others to do the same. Runs a very tight ship and values teamwork and bonding. Has a Swampert, Johanna, who helps keep an eye on the weather/preform water rescues. Vocally skeptic about the supernatural, as an important side note. 

(Fantastic art done by @bastart13​ !! check their art out its gorgeous)

Rudy (bio will be updated periodically)!: A bit of a no nonsense, kind of moody boy--He has alot of respect for Carys in particular because he tends to be blunt and she's the only one who isn’t phased by it and doesnt let it affect her opinion of him. He reminds her alot of Cadi, so she's used to it and knows how to handle the teenage angst. Has a Sandyghast, Gobi! Sometimes Gobi loses their shovel and has a little flag instead. 

(This little man belongs to @liimonpriince​)!  And that’s the gist for all the major protags--supporting cast will come next, and then we’ll get to the bad guys :) 

[jejesart]

Hi, I’m a new follower and I love your art. Could you say who your favourite Fire Emblem pairings are, plus any other pairings from other series?

awwww thank you!!!!! ho boy this is gonna be LONG ill put it under read more you better be prepared HAHA

ok so for fire emblem first!!!!! i’ll go per series (the ones ive played) to limit them lmao and also because im gonna ramble (im sorry i dont even know if you play all of them but im feeling talkative today just ignore the ones you dont know lol)

fe sov: berkut/rinea. the way he loves her…. and wants her to smile…….. and shes happy simply just being with him………. at least im thankful for feh since theyre together happily there. watch me as i +10 rinea!!!!

fe4 holy war: finn/lachesis. ok i only play fe4 halfway the first gen so i cant say much but i read the manga and it makes me ship finnchesis so much!!! he fills the hole left by eldigans death in her heart…….. and she enjoys his company so much he becomes someone very important to her i love slow-building love

fe6: roy/lilina. i havent finished this im stuck at one chapter and i dont feel playing it lmao but im weak for childhood friends!!!

fe7: imma cheat on this one THE FIRST ONE IS ELIWOOD/NINIAN THEY HAVE MY HEART AND SOUL. hes super gentle to her and theyre completely lovestruck with each other throughout the game i just…… cannot not ship them………….. the second one is kent/lyn because liege/knight pairing is my other weakness lmao. and their support!!!! lyn wants to be more than just his lady ugh their a support is so good

fe8: joshua/natasha. not much to elaborate here really but its love at first sight for him you cant change my mind

fea: HENRY/OLIVIA IS JUST. SO. GOOD. he shows his real emotions because of her!!!! without realising he falls so hard for her!!!! ALSO INIGO BEING HENRYS SON FITS SO MUCH not to mention hes the only one who looks good with white hair among the fea kids lol

fef: m!corrin/azura, since they share somewhat same backstories i think they find consoles in each other’s company. also idk if you play feh but theres this one version of corrin that shows up in young azura’s dream world, and his dialogues are very azura-centered, much more than his female counterpart, and they all say he just wants her to be happy im crying (esp remembering her fate in birthright and conquest :v)

fe3h: felix/annete theyre just!!! so cute!!!! felix cant stop thinking of her???? and super soft to her unlike to the others????? she unknowingly makes her way into his heart ughhhh. i also like cyril/lysithea a lot, i really cant choose between them.

feh: not a main game but alfonse has all my uwus so i have to say this…… i love alfonse/summoner!!!! alfonse refusing to get close to any hero but ending up getting super close to the summoner……… he trusts them so much!!!! seriously like 80% of alfonses dialogues are related to the summoner and lemme tell you i squeal every time he talks about them lol

moving on for other series i’ll do another list for the series that are on top of my mind!!!

kny: (you must have seen this coming) GIYUU/SHINOBU OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I JUST WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY. for shinobu, since she always dons kanae’s smiling mask, i think shinobu finds comfort in teasing giyuu since she can be a little bit like herself when doing that, like a small breather. for giyuu, since he isnt close with other pillars, i think he appreciates shinobu’s company, even though she keeps teasing him. THEY ALSO HAVE PARALLELS they lose their sisters and they hate their own circumstances (giyuu with him passing the final selection without doing anything and shinobu with her physique). and his shocked face when she [redacted]????? man i will forever be sad about that. and a side note i like tanjirou/kanao a lot! kanao defends aoi and the girls because she remembers tanjirous words. she legit cries because shes relieved tanjirou is alive. she even raises her voice to keep others quiet because she worries about him. tanjirou is a changing force in her life!!!!

gbf: gran/lyria. their lives are intertwined………… they literally cant live without each other………. and gran is so protective to lyria ugh i love that!!!! ALSO THE ANIME!!!!!!!! theres one original story episode about lyria almost dies because she hates her existence so much she wants to disappear but gran brings her back……………. not by his own actually but like he promises to always be there for her or something like that theyre just so cute. additionally i love lucio/djeeta a lot because lucio is sexy af HAHAHA BUT!!! you also have to look at this before you judge me

fairy tail: natsu/lucy. theyre my comfort otp i think??? like i still lurk in their tags and search for their fanfics til now. i also sometimes reread their moments in manga because i love them that much. SHES HIS HOME GDI and natsu legit doesnt join a fight because hes super worried about lucy after her fathers death oh my god. my favourite moment is when natsu uses lucy fire its just so funny but describes their relationship so well!!!

ok i better stop here or else the post will never end HAHAHAHA its so long already im sorry if you read all of that

[elijahfitz]

and introduction.

meet elijah.

hey guys! im lina! im 18 and im in the cst timezone. im currently a freshman in college and ive also been rping for like 6 years now ( i started on the neopets chat boards. if thats not an embarrassing fun fact idk what is ) but i havent rped since this summer since school was and still is kicking my ass. im really into musical theater, marvel & dc, and disney! i also used to be a lifeguard at a great wolf lodge for 2 years so if u want any funny stories about stupid children, or even just wanna be friends, lmk! im also SUPER sorry this intro is so late. i was gonna do it yesterday but then my friends wanted to hang and it kinda went downhill from there. im actually posting this like 20 min before i have a lab practical so i wont be able to reply until late tonight, but like this post to plot or anything!

some fun facts abt elijah:

he was adopted when he was around 3-4? he was abandoned and left on the back of a merchant cart headed to corona, where he was then discovered and then put into the local orphanage since no one was sure where he came from or who left him. all he had was a stuffed bear (named wooly), a basket of water and fruits to eat, and a letter that explained that:

his name was elijah

he was 2 (born on february 28th)

his parents couldnt care for him, so they hoped he would be found by a kind soul who could either take care of and love him, or else get him to someone who could

they loved him and only left him in the hopes that he would have a better life

he lived in the orphanage for almost 2 years and the few months before the 2nd anniversary of his arrival, rapunzel & eugene visited the orphanage that eugene grew up in and fell in love w/ eli, promptly adopting him soon after. he barely remembers anything about his abandonment and time in the orphanage, but always wanted to find his birth parents and let them know how he turned out. he kept the bear and basket in his room but carries the letter around with him in his wallet wherever he goes.

his full name is elijah frederic fitzherbert. he was given the middle name frederic in honor of his grandfather.

but, he much rather prefers eli. doesnt mind formalities but insists on people who know him to call him by his nickname. except he HATES being called “highness” bc he thinks it sounds stupid. he wont get upset per se if u keep referring to him as “your highness” but he will get annoyed

he very much wants to fulfill his role as “corona’s golden boy” by contributing back to his people. he worries for the kingdom more than he worries for himself and is always trying to prove that he is worthy of being a prince rather than just some random kid who got lucky enough to get adopted. most of his days are spent doing modest favors and helping out the townspeople or visiting the villages surrounding the kingdom.

when he’s in the castle you can almost always find him in the kitchen! boi loves to bake and cook. he loves the way food can bring joy to everyone. he often makes goods to give to the townspeople or the kids at the orphanage, where he volunteers at least every 2 weeks when hes not busy w prince stuff.

has an acute fear of disappointment. he feels so much pressure to prove his worth that came from growing up thinking if he did anything wrong he’d be sent back to orphanage, esp since his parents had another child. they wouldn’t want or need him anymore. he mostly got over this when he broke a vase when he was 12 and tried to run away from home, except he fell out the tree that he used to climb out his window and broke his leg lmao. his parents assured him that no matter what he did they would still love him and never abandon him, and his dad also taught him how to climb trees and roofs without dying (much to his mom’s chagrin). even tho hes pretty much over it, it kinda lingers subconsciously. thus, he overcompensates in everything he does and gets overly anxious about small problems

growing up he thought the stories that his dad told him about his past were so cool, despite the fact that he would almost always only hear those stories when he was being taught lessons of what he shouldnt do. he used to run around pretending to be flynn rider and his dad played along, planning play heists for them to do together (think scott & cassie in that one scene from ant man and the wasp) but they stopped when eli hit that age where he thought it was embarrassing to play w his dad. but, it really helped him bond w eugene and help him work on his coordination bc eli is CLUMSY AF

eli legit trips over nothing at least twice a day.

he bonded w his mom through art tho, which eventually turned into aesthetic desserts and meals! thats another reason why he loves baking and cooking so much.

when his 1st sibling was born when he was 5 at first he was jealous. he didnt get much attention at the orphanage due to the fact that there were so many kids and he was just starting to get used to the idea of having parents didnt have tons of kids always trying to win their affection and attention. he thought having a little sibling was the worst thing in the world and would hide from his parents bc if they couldnt find him they couldnt send him away. he hated his sibling.

until he met them. the second he saw their chubby face he was hooked. he swore that he would do anything and everything for them. and that continued when his parents adopted his other siblings as well. he absolutely adores them and acts like the protective older bro role

thankfully, with such a large age gap eli never rlly had to go through any of those petty squabbles that siblings usually have. he was always pretty protective of them tho and would fight when he thought they were being reckless and dumb out of his own fear that if they got hurt he would be an awful big brother (again, fear of disappointment)

he loves to travel bc his mom would always take him to these extravagant kingdoms and on these amazing sightseeing trips

this boy is hopeless when it comes to love. i can imagine lots of ppl liking him on top of all the ppl throwing themselves at him bc royal, but him being completely oblivious and thinking that no one likes him.

he had rlly bad ADD as a kid but its gotten better as hes grown. he still occasionally struggles w executive functioning tho and always gets rlly frustrated when he cant focus or remember

like i said earlier, clumsy af. no coordination. the only athletic ability he ever had was horse riding and running

that said he has a horse named may (short for mayonnaise. dont ask

he likes music a lot. prob learned piano at a young age

he probably is at the party bc royals? idk

EDIT: although (currently) unknown to eli, his true birth mother is maleficent. when eli was 2, his birth father took him away from her and had her suppress eli’s natural born powers. his father realized he was unfit to care for him, so he was the one who abandoned eli.

wanted connections!!

obv his parents and siblings? i mean cmon

one ( or both???? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ) of his birth parents!!!!! they dont have to know that eli is their son or mayb they do and are too scared to tell him, but being trapped together will eventually make it revealed

childhood friends! people he met when he traveled w his mom or met at royal social functions? i rlly also want friends that he would hang w at all the royal galas and stuff and they would go do dumb stuff like look sneak out and look for secret passages of make bets of who could dump more crab cakes into the stuffy duchess’ purse when she wasnt looking

people who know him solely through his family

someone who likes eli and eli legit has no clue, no matter how much they flirt and drop hints

people who hate eli! or even just dislike him, which makes him upset bc he doesnt like the idea that there are ppl who dont like him in the world. mayb bc sometimes he gets super highstrung when things arent going how they should b and he like lashed out at them once or something. maybe they hate his parents and on principle hate him. idk

someone who was w eli in the orphanage

past relationships? i feel like hes never rlly had a bad breakup tho, its just that they prob just didnt work out. hes also bi so they can b any gender. hes still looking for his otp

idk, legit anything. send me those plots man

[twdeadfanfic]

Don’t look back Pt.3/3

*Summary:  Daryl is used to his brother coming and going out of his life, leaving him alone, since he was a kid. He’s used to Merle meaning trouble too, and to be dragged into all his messes as Daryl loyally follows his brother. But this time Merle’s mess has reached top and has affected more people than the brothers, and Daryl finds himself wanting to step in and fix it, as once again he’s left alone by his brother. Inspired by me wondering how Daryl felt about having always done as Merle says and yet being always left alone, and especially by wondering how is Daryl so good with kids, handling baby Judith so good, like a pro since day one.

*Tags/Warnings: There’s cute stuff here, but the main tag is Angst. Daryl’s pov, there’s an OC (well…two…), but still, this is mostly a Daryl Dixon fic. Once again, this gets pretty angsty, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Last chapter! This is going to be very, very angsty people! You’ve been warned.

Also, I’ve been reblogging some pictures of Norman Reedus that I’ve called “young Daryl” and some gifsets that I think kind of have a bit of the vibe of this mini-series. If you want to check it, this is the tag: Don’t look back (Sorry but tumblr doesnt allow me to direct link it)

Link to my masterlist with my other works can be found on the description of this blog. I’m sorry for the inconvenience, but tumblr doesn’t show posts with links in the tags.

------

Months later, Daryl is still thinking about Claire’s words. He doesn’t know much about Merle’s situation, but now he knows he’s indeed getting an early release, though not until months. Daryl still means what he told Claire, he’s not going to stop being her friend, seeing her an Emily, but he can’t help but be nervous about what Merle is going to think and how his life is going to be with his brother back again.

He’s gone to the woods, further than usual, camped the night there, both to try and clear his mind and also to try and hunt a deer. He’s been only successful at the latest, and so now he’s trying to tie the deer to the bike, which is not that easy. Maybe he shouldn’t have taken the bike for this, but he wanted to ride.

He rides back, plans on going to see Claire and Emily, give them some deer. Between the kindergarten and Claire working more, he doesn’t see them as often as he did once, but still often enough. He doesn’t want to show up at her place with a dead deer over his shoulders and so first he goes to his place to get it ready. It takes him a while, so when he rides to Claire’s place he knows Emily would be back from the kindergarten and Claire’d have finished working too.

“Hi!” Claire grins when she opens the door. “How was your hunting?”

“Got a deer.” He hands him a pack with some of the meat he got ready.

He walks inside and finds Emily inside that kind of big cage that Claire calls park, playing with some toys.  She smiles when she sees him, reaching out to him, babbling something that sounds like “hi.” She does that lately, she stills babbles nonsense but also things like no, mum, and some other little words.  Claire has said she’s going to teach her to say ‘Daryl’ and he’s not sure if she was kidding or not, but the idea makes him feel giddier than he wants to admit.

“Hi darlin’, what did you do to end up in baby jail?” He asks as he kneels down next to the park thing, picking Emily up and placing her outside.

“I told you not to call it like that,” Claire says, humor in her voice, as she goes to leave the meat in the kitchen. “It’s a park.”

“A park, yeah, sure, does it looks like a park to you, sweetheart?” He wouldn’t be caught talking like that to Emily outside that house, the idea mortifies him. He’s still embarrassed doing it in front of Claire, but not as much as once he had been. Emily babbles a “no” and Daryl looks at Claire, smirking. She rolls her eyes but smiles too.

Emily holds on Daryl’s hands as she tries to stand up. Daryl helps her steady herself as she tries taking some steps, his smile going wide. She’s always been a fast crawler, but now she’s trying to take steps too. “I’m going to come one day and you’re gonna be walking already, uh?”

“Then she’s going to be spending more time in baby jail. She already manages to get everywhere just by crawling the moment I don’t have my eye on her, I don’t want to think about her walking.”

“Nah, I’ll bail you out.” Daryl keeps helping Emily stumbling steps until the little girl gets bored of it and she sits down on Daryl’s leg, reaching out to grab a stuffed bunny that was one of her favorites.

“Bun.” She babbles as she tries to push it onto Daryl’s hand, he’s not very sure as for what.

“Hey, that’s a new word,” he says as he holds the bunny, still unsure of what Emily wants him to do with it.

“Yeah, a bunny.” Claire goes to sit down next to them. “Like the ones Daryl hunts and I’ve been feeding you, doesn’t that seem conflicting to you?” She jokes, Emily’s little enough not to understand what she’s saying. “No? Then wait until you watch Bambi and Daryl takes you hunting deer.”

Daryl snorts, nudging Claire with his shoulder, but Emily just smiles, unaware, taking another plushy, a fish this time, and pushing Daryl with it again. “What does she want me to do?”

“Don’t know, ask her.” Claire smiles, seeming amused, and she grabs a plushy to throw it at Daryl too. He rolls his eyes at her but can’t even pretend to be annoyed.

For a while, Daryl is silent, holding toys that Emily passes him as she babbles its names, sometimes right sometimes not, half his mind in the little girl, half the other still on his brother.

“Merle’s getting the early release.” He finally blurts out. He waits for Claire to say something, but she doesn’t, so Daryl glances at her. She’s serious and thoughtful, and Daryl guesses what she might be thinking about.

“I meant what I told you, just cos my brother’s back doesn’t mean I’m not going to see you both anymore. That ain’t happening.” Daryl knows how Merle can be, but he’ll think something, he’ll make it work. Claire just shrugs in silence. “You don’t believe me.” He deflates. He holds Emily a bit tighter, like if that could shield him from his emotions, but it does the opposite.

“It’s not that.” Claire let’s out a sigh. “Just…I wouldn’t hold it against you, if you do.” She fidgets with one of the toys as she speaks. “You’ve done enough for us. And Merle’s your brother, and you were always following him before, so-”

“I ain’t my brother’s dog or nothing, woman!” Daryl snaps harsher than he wants without letting her stop, he can’t help it, he’s always hated how he indeed ends up doing whatever Merle tells him. Emily looks at him, startled, like if he had scared her, and it’s like a punch to the gut.

“I’m sorry.” He murmurs.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Daryl.” Claire begins speaking softly again. “But you guys were always together, you’re brothers, so if when he’s back Emily and I don’t quite fit in the picture…well, I understand, and-”

“Stop with that.” Daryl cuts her again, softer this time. “I already told you nothing’s going to change.” It wasn’t entirely true, things would change with Merle there, Daryl knew it, but nothing was going to change the fact that Claire was his best friend and that he’d always want to help her to take care of Emily and protect the little girl, not Merle, not anything. He was loyal to his brother, but now he was loyal to Claire and Emily too.

“Okay.” Claire gives him a tiny smile.

“Only thing that can happen is that you will have to put up with my brother sometimes.” Daryl half-jokes, totally aware of how Merle can be sometimes, but Claire already knew him and she isn’t one to scare easy. Besides, Daryl doesn’t really plan on letting Merle around Emily too often.

“I can do that.” Claire’s smile goes a bit wider.

“Settled, then.”

They fall silent again but is not as tense as before. Daryl watches as Claire and Emily play with some construction blocks, passing them some from time to time as they build something without a defined form.

“What’s this supposed to be?” He asks as he passed them the block Emily pointed, way too big to place it on top of the other four that she has placed before.

“Modern art,” Claire replies, reaching out to stop the small tower from falling down. “She’s an artist, you see.”

“I see.”  He smirks. “Gonna be a while until she can put a bike together.”

“She doesn’t want to put together a bike, she’s an artist, I told you.”

Emily doesn’t say anything, just passes Daryl another block, babbling as he waits for him to place it on top of the tower.

*

Daryl has gone out to the woods again, further this time, to the place where his uncle took him to camp as a kid to teach him how to hunt when his father was too drunk and too out of control. That, until his uncle left him too.

He likes the solitude, likes the woods and being out there, likes it better than the town, but after a couple of days he’s more than ready to go back to see Claire and Emily. He had just needed to clear his mind.

For all his words to Claire, Daryl can’t help but worry as days pass and Merle’s release date gets closer. It must be in a week or so by now, or maybe just days. Is not that he doesn’t want his brother to come back, he misses him, it’s just he can almost hear him making fun and what not of him and his friendship with Claire and her little girl. And he’s not sure how Merle’s going to take all the time he spends with Emily and Claire. He doesn’t think he’s going to like it, though. He’s unsure too of what his brother is going to want them to do once he’s back.

Anyway, there’s no point worrying about that now. It feels wrong, telling Claire that he’s not going to stop hanging out with her just because his brother is getting back and then spending more time in the woods, but he thinks she understands.

He has taken Merle’s bike again so he can enjoy it before he’s back, and he has left it hidden in some bushes at the outside of the woods. He should clean it before his brother gets back.

He makes his way back to where he left the bike but before he can reach it, he sees a man stumbling to him, seeming to come from the road. His clothes are ragged and bloodied, his face gray and splashed with more blood, his eyes clouded. Maybe he’s been in some kind of accident, he looks so bad Daryl doesn’t know how he’s walking.

“You okay, man?”

He doesn’t answer, and the more he approaches the more Daryl realizes he doesn’t look normal. Like, at all. A shiver runs through Daryl's spine as he looks at him, he looks beyond ill, dead even. The man begins reaching out for him, growling. Maybe he’s insane.

"Stop right there!” Daryl yells, raising his crossbow, and when the man keeps going Daryl loses the arrow, aiming to stop him but not kill him. The man keeps going though, doesn’t even seem to notice the arrow, so the next one Daryl loses goes straight through his chest. That doesn’t stop him either, and Daryl is dumbfounded for a moment. Before he knows what’s happening, the man throws himself at him with more strength that he seems to have and Daryl falls to the ground with him on top.

He struggles, trying to push him away but the man doesn’t relent, trying to bite him. Daryl manages to get out his hunting knife and stabs the man with it several times, but he doesn’t stop, and not knowing what to do, Daryl sinks it into the man’s skull as hard as he can. That finally makes him stop moving and Daryl kicks him off him when he drops dead on top of him.

Daryl rushes onto his feet, looking at the corpse, a thousand confusing thoughts racing through his mind. He doesn’t know what’s going on or what to do, but before he can think anything else, he sees another man and a woman looking like that going to him. He aims again, this time the arrow going straight to the woman’s chest but that doesn’t make her stop, neither the one straight to her heart and so Daryl aims at her head, and that makes her fall down. Her next arrow goes straight to the man’s head.

Daryl still doesn’t know what to do or what to think, all he knew is that he has to get out of there and back to the town. He takes the bike off the bushes and rides back to the road. There is a car there and two corpses lying on the ground, but Daryl ignores it, driving back to the town.

Halfway there he finds a couple of cars crashed on the road, and what it seems like one of those things, which Daryl is starting to doubt are people anymore, bended on top of someone, seeming to be biting him, or eating him, or Daryl doesn’t know what but he doesn’t stop, speeding up, going as fast as he can. Whatever is going on, Daryl needs to get to the town and check on Claire and Emily.

There are some more of those things at the town, roaming the streets, looking at him when they hear the bike, snapping, while others seem to be eating the people that are dead on the ground, and maybe Daryl is going crazy but he’s pretty sure those are people he knows. He still doesn’t know what’s going on, it just gets weirder and weirder, but whatever it is, it’s not good.

“Help!”

Daryl’s about to ignore the voice pleading for help but a woman runs in front of his bike, making him slam the breaks and almost falling down. Before he can yell at her he sees what seems one of those things, and this time he’s sure he knows her, he has seen her enough times at the park. Without thinking it twice, he rushes to take his crossbow and shoots at the head before she can get too close.

“The hell is going on?” He snaps at the woman who’s stopped in front of his bike.

“That, hell! The dead walking!” The woman seems out of herself but it’s not like Daryl can really blame her. “The end of the world!” Daryl scoffs at that, turning on the engine again. “I’ve seen it on tv, it’s not only here, it’s everywhere, people are going insane like that and attacking people everywhere!”

Daryl’s head has been on Claire and Emily the whole time, but it goes to his brother at that. Everywhere? Does that mean the jail where Merle is too? The knot of worry that’s clenching his stomach gets worse, he needs to go there and find his brother, and then Merle’ll know what to do. But first he needs to check on Claire and the little girl, make sure they are okay. Maybe she can convince Claire to go with him to get Merle or at least he needs to get her and Emily to a safe place, because that town is seeming crazier every passing minute.

Without any other word, the woman rushes into what Daryl guesses it’s her car to drive away. She should be good enough and so Daryl speeds up to Claire’s place. Those things snap their heads at him but Daryl ignores them, stopping just to shoot at them when they’re blocking the way, but he tries to just drive through them, afraid of getting out of arrows, and there’s not enough of them to actually block the road.

Daryl stops in front of Claire’s place, his worry going out of control when he sees the door is open and he straights out panics when he rushes inside and sees blood on the floor. He’s about to call for Claire but then there’s a horrifying gurgling sound and he sees her lying on the floor, hands clutching her throat as blood pours over them.

Daryl straight blacks out for a second but then he’s rushing to her, falling onto his knees next to her, pulling her into his arms. He doesn’t know what to do, panic gripping him as he takes her hands and sees her throat tore open. Claire looks at him with cloudy eyes as she chokes and gurgles, and Daryl thinks she chokes out something that sounds like ‘Emily’ but he’s not sure. He knows he has to find the little girl and keep her safe, but he can’t leave Claire.

He doesn’t know if Claire’s shaking or if it’s him, but his hands are trembling as he presses them to her throat and he’s sure his heart stops when Claire closes her eyes, lying limp on his arms. “No, no, no, Claire, hey.” He all but pants for air as his lungs seem to stop working, he has to do something but he doesn’t know what, the fear that grips his heart telling him she’s beyond help.

Claire’s eyes open to look at him as he shakes her and for a crazy second Daryl dares to have hope, but then she stops chocking and gurgling, her eyes fixed on him but empty, and just like that she’s gone.

Daryl can only stare at her body, his vision turning blurry as tears fill his eyes. He’s shaking, and his lungs burn as he gasps for air. It doesn’t feel real and at the same time it feels too real. It huts like it’s real. Daryl doesn’t think he can move, his body doesn’t seem to respond, but he forces himself to do it, he has to. He has to find Emily and keep her safe, though he doesn’t know what to do or where to go. He has to find Merle, take Emily with him, make sure both his brother and the little girl are safe, and then Merle will know what to do.

He’s holding Claire’s body against him but he makes himself lie her onto the floor to get up, tries not to look at her but he does and for a moment the pain overwhelms him again, threatening to make him crumble and fall again, but he forces himself to shut it and keep going. He rubs his eyes as he takes a deep breath, realizing too late that his hands are wet with Claire’s blood, smearing it over his face, turning his stomach.

Daryl chokes a whimper but he has no time for that, he has to find Emily. The little girl is going to be scared seeing him like that, though. At least she didn’t have to see her mother like that, she’s not around, and for a moment Daryl fears Emily’s not in the house and he’s not going to be able to find her, but it’s past time she was home from the kindergarten and he can see his little boots propped up at the side of the sofa. She has to be there, and this time it’s not going to be too late.

“Emily? Sweetheart?” He calls for her and there’s no babbly answer but Daryl forces himself not to panic and he rushes to her room. She’s in the corridor, sitting on the floor with her back to him as if blissfully oblivious to everything that’s going on, and Daryl lets out a relieved sigh. “Darlin’, we have to go, alright?”

Daryl walks closer to pick her up but stops, his blood freezing in his veins when he hears the growl coming from Emily. No, it can’t be that. She turns around and looks at him with those empty eyes, the same that the things on the streets have, her face drained of color but the red of the blood that has splashed it, contorting into something that terrifies Daryl as she snarls. It can’t be real.

Her little hands reach out for him as she growls and she tries to get up, stumbling a couple of steps before she falls down and resorts to crawling. Daryl can’t move, can’t think, can’t breathe, he feels as he’s as dead as Claire, empty, his mind numb.

Somehow his survival instinct kicks in through his shock, forcing him to stop looking at what is not Emily anymore, to turn away and run out of the house, but he’s not sure how he’s able to do it because next thing Daryl knows is that he’s on Merle’s bike riding as fast as he can, he doesn’t know where, doesn’t care. His mind is still clouded, making him feel numb, but that’s better than the pain. The pain is too much.

He takes a turn, just because, gets into the woods, keeps riding until the wheels of the bike get stuck in the mud and both the bike and him fall to the ground, hitting his head, but Daryl doesn’t care, doesn’t bother to try to get up. He wants his mind to be numb and the pain in his head is better to the one in his heart.

This doesn’t make sense. He still doesn’t know what’s going on but he doesn’t care, all he knows is that Claire is gone and that Emily is…something that is nor her, and it doesn’t make sense. Daryl curls on himself, closes his eyes. Maybe it’s a nightmare, maybe he’ll wake up, his nightmares are terrifying, painful, but they don’t hurt like this, and he knows this is real.

He can’t help his sobs, can’t stop them, neither the tears that burn his eyes. They are gone, he doesn’t understand how or why, but they are gone, his best friend and her little girl, the people Daryl wanted to protect, the people he ended up caring about so, so much, the people that made him happy, made his life better, the people he loves.

It hurts worse than if one of his bolts had gone through his heart, it hurts worse than if his heart’d have been ripped out of his chest while he’s still alive, his stomach clenches and turns, making him want to throw up.  

Daryl stays like that, curled, eyes closed, fighting to breathe, until he hears a growl and knows that one of those things are close, but he can’t find the will to get up and fight it, he doesn’t want to move. His survival instinct kicks in once again when the thing gets close enough to reach him, though, making him move like a robot, getting up and facing the thing that growls and snarls, reaching out and trying to grab him

Daryl doesn’t bother to get an arrow on the crossbow and aim, he just bashes the crossbow onto the thing’s head, hitting it hard. The thing fells to the ground, probably dead, but Daryl keeps hitting and hitting, yelling at it, until what was its head isn’t recognizable anymore. He drops the crossbow and kicks the dead body until his legs give up and he falls to the ground.

He doesn’t want to feel. He wants to be numb again, he wants to shut it down, but images keep coming to his mind and there’s no way to stop them. He can’t get it out of his mind, the image of Emily, or the thing with Emily’s dead face.

He closes his eyes tight and he can almost see her when she was so, so tiny, wrapped in the scarf…the first time he held her…playing with her while she babbled…her holding onto his hands stubbornly trying to walk, but all those memories faze and all he can see is her dead face snarling as her dead body somehow crawled to him. Because Daryl knows it, knows that even though she’s moving, she’s dead, no matter he doesn’t understand how, and she’s not coming back

His memories of Claire smiling to him, joking as they three played together, talking with him for hours and hours as they walked, telling him he was his best friend, having his back in more ways than she knew, all them turn into her body dead in his arms, her empty eyes on him, he tries to hear her voice but all he hears is her gurgling as she chocked.

Daryl can’t take it and he curls onto himself again, shaking, his lugs burning as if his body doesn’t want to breathe anymore.

He was supposed to take care of them, to protect them, and he wasn’t there. He should have been there. He should have saved them. They should be alive. He failed them and now they are gone and he’s alone, and it hurts too much to keep going.

“And you call yourself a Dixon? You are a shame. Lying there on top of a pile of brains, whimpering like some pussy. This is all on you, Lil’ brother, all your fault.”

Daryl’s thinks he’s going insane when he hears Merle’s voice. Maybe he’s turning into one of those things too.

“You’ve been like this since you were this Lil’ brat, I always had to drag you everywhere with me, tried to teach you to be like me, and all for this…all I got for a brother is this whining, crying, useless, weak mess…I’m ashamed to call you my blood.”

Merle’s voice ranting again, so clear, and this time Daryl looks up but he can’t see his brother anywhere. He’s really going insane.

“You’re gonna be lying there, whimpering like a beaten dog, until you get your useless ass eaten? Nah, Lil’ brother, you stole your older brother’s bike and now you’re gonna get it back to him. So come on, get your whining ass on that bike and drive it to me, and without any scratch. Come on, Darylina.”

Merle.

He’s right.

His brother might still be alive, he has to. Of course he’s alive. He’s Merle. Merle doesn’t die.

Daryl has to find him.

He tries to get up but his legs are shaking too much. His head thumps from when he hit it when he fell off the bike but that’s good, that’s welcomed. He sits down, takes a deep breath. He wants to be numb again, he needs to be numb again, he doesn’t want to feel, he can’t.

He doesn’t want the pain, the hurt, the memories, the feelings. He shuts everything, he pushes everything down, somewhere where he hopes he won’t have to feel it or see it again. All his memories of Claire and Emily. He doesn’t want anything of that anymore, he can’t handle it. He needs it gone.

He struggles but at the end he manages to push everything down, to shut it down. He has to find Merle.  Nothing else matters now but finding his brother.

Daryl gets up, takes the bike, drags it out of the mud. Emily liked to play in the sand and the mud, Claire never minded the little girl getting dirty if that meant she was having fun, she neither minded getting her clothes full of mud. Daryl can almost hear them laughing and tears burn in his eyes again as he gasps for air.

No.

That’s gone.

He has to shut that down.

Or otherwise he won’t be able to keep going, and he needs to find Merle.

He pushes it all down, all the pain, all the feelings, everything, shuts himself.

Daryl drags the bike back to the road, gets on it, kicks on the engine and seeps up, off to find his brother, fast enough he can’t think, fast enough he can’t feel anything that’s not the wind, and he doesn’t look back.

---------

Well...I told you this was going to be angsty :( I’m really sorry people, but I had this idea in my mind and I hade to write it down. I think it makes sense with how hard Daryl tried to find Sophia, he’s very protective and he likes kids, he didn’t want another one to die, and also it makes snse with how good and sweet he was with lil asskicker. Writing this killed me, I cried, but I also love it.

Next monday a liltte one-shot/imagine based on 9x09 is coming, and then on wednesday a new series begins. I hope you’ll like those! You can read the summaries in my masterlist.

Thank you all for reading! I hope you liked it! If you have a moment, please let me know your thoughts in the comments, your feedback makes my day!rry if there are mistakes.

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[mieczyhale]

throwing together some of my recent/ish hc posts/tags for @hellomyguru bc its a thing, babey (i have no idea what you’ve seen and what you havent bc tumblr really just suck like that so lmao)

my tags on this post::  #HELL YEAH HELL YEAH #more pride hcs!!! noice!!#i love these sfm#like klaus always taking part no matter how bad shit is bc HIS PEOPLE!!! and ben trying to punch picketers and homophobes is fucking adorbs#and i would kill (whoop) for the day klaus makes ben corporeal during pride and ben can punch all the people and then disappear#vanya’s is cute. come to the light darling!!#and diego fksgjf okay listen whether one hcs him as bi or not this is 1000% something he’d do either way#he’s supportive!!! and he has lgbtqa+ family!!! and nobody gets to be mean to his family but him!!#see also:: the first year after the apocalypse is avoided five decides to tag along when klaus saying he’s taking dave to#his very first pride. he not only enjoys himself but he learns a lot and either then or over the course of the following weeks figures his#own labels out - bc i hc five as asexual and i just have a thing for klaus being the all knowledgeable one about something for once#and his siblings learning about gender and sexuality from him and maybe discovering something new about themselves along the way!#except luther. he’s a cis hetero and we all know it#but maybe he learns to be a good ally. maybe#i mean probably not but whatever#allison is the only other person in the family who i’d even consider calling straight#bc there’s nothing wrong with being straight and i just.. dont have another label that i think fits her really well#so yeah ive got gender and sexuality hcs for them all flgkscndn happy pride month bitches

my tags on this post:: #’you’re telling me this happens every year?? for a whole month??!’ #actually i need every possible concept of dave experiencing pride month and seeing how far things have come for gays#like rainbow shit everywhere#and of course the legalization of gay marriage#out and proud gay politicians and gay people in positions of power#the amount of support that comes when homophobic shit happens now#homophobia isnt the accepted norm anymore#another thing i like is the concept of - either during pride or just in general - dave being excited to learn about the community as a whole#his boyfriend is a nonbinary pansexual and klaus has explained before what those words mean but dave wants to really understand#we stan a supportive and loving couple#dave has a lot to learn in 2019 but i think this stuff would be the most important and have the most effect on him yknow??#shit isnt perfect but its better and now he can work on getting passed the environment he was raised in#so he can hold klaus’s hand in public and kiss him around other people without panicking and eventually he proposes because HE FUCKING CAN#HE CAN DO THAT. HE CAN JUST.. ASK HIS BOYFRIEND TO MARRY HIM. LEGALLY.#good fucking shit

my tags on this post:: #did you see the state of the sky in the apocalypse?? there’s a chance he really wouldnt have noticed#i mean like yeah it could be a funny plothole#but there could also be reasons for why thats not something he noticed#or idfk man timeline shit#maybe the moon didnt explode the first time around#maybe it did and there’s just another moon somehow some way#maybe he didnt notice bc he was first too scared and then too frenzied and angry probably and then he had shit to focus on and math to do#and then dolores wanted to go on dates to the local wine cellars and flat empty areas that used to be parks and then there was spending days#in the library together like having a girlfriend is a lot of work okay#maybe five just didnt have the time to slowdown and consider things like space#maybe his headspace was too fucked#sometimes you just forget about the moon - i know i do!#so sfgksncjf okay y e ah

my tags on this post:: #YES!!! #yes yes yes #okay #so#everytime someone mentions or even hints at dave having anger issues i wanna fucking cheer bc thats one of my biggest hcs for him#like yeah he’s sweet and gentle and respectful and all that - genuinely a good man - our lil jewish gay#BUT#he did grow up in the 50s and 60s which as op said would have surrounded him with a lot of toxic masculinity. now i dont think he would be#a toxic kind of masculine AT ALL but it definitely would have forced him to hide his emotions and feelings and idk hobbies and of course his#sexuality. and i say hobbies bc there isnt a canon answer for it i dont think but i personally hc dave as being someone who loves art#specifically: drawing. dave keeping a lil sketchbook and some pencils under the pillow on his cot in vietnam?? yes please#so anyway yeah - he wouldnt have really had any good examples of how to properly take care of your anger - although he has enough#heart and common sense to know its really fucking wrong to take it out on women and children and people one is dating WHICH - another hc i#have that ties into this is that somehow his dad found out that he’s gay and beat the crap out of him over it. because unfortunately thats a#thing that happens. so his main male example was an abusive pos. and then he goes to vietnam which is fine because its not like he has#anyone stateside that will miss him - that will talk to him anymore - and its a warzone so there are a lot of ways to work out your anger#and yeah that of course includes bar fights. and he does - usually - try and keep a hold on his anger until he’s away from anyone who might#feel threatened - and he doesnt wanna end up taking out an innocent on accident - but he’s not actually perfect and so sometimes he fails#and it happens around klaus one time and seeing his love’s reaction - the making himself smaller - trying to hide - going quiet and so#clearly afraid - and not just afraid but afraid OF HIM - freezes him to the core where he stands because nobody has ever reacted like that#before. or if they have he never noticed or cared because they didnt matter. but this is klaus. his klaus. who he loves and would never do#anything to hurt him. his klaus who he protects and defends and knows he wants to spend his life with - no matter how impossible it is#he wants to go to klaus and apologize - try to undo the damage done simply by him raising his voice and lashing out - but he doesnt know#what to say or how to say it - he doesnt know what to do with the situation honestly. so he leaves the tent and goes to take his renewed#anger and frustration out on whatever he can find so he can calm down and hopefully get into the right headspace to have whats#no doubt going to be a really hard conversation with his boyfriend. because where do you even start??#but of course they talk it out and dave promises to work on his anger and on how he lets it out and yknow.. its dave so klaus trusts him and#it takes some time - there are some incidents - but dave works hard and learns a lot from klaus - including how to unlearn a lot of shit he#grew up with - and its rough but having a partner from the future who breaks all kinds of barriers definitely helps#so y eah. those are my brief feelings on it and i wanna marry op 

my tags on this post::   #!!!!!!!!!!!! #YES #i adore this post#i could never pinpoint why the introduction on the bus made me feel like That but this is it!!#its just so sweet and innocent - even surrounded by other soldiers in the middle of a warring country#the innocence and unbearable fucking adorableness of their first convo on that bus just… its so bright and lovely it makes everything else disappear#the only thing that matters is the two guys getting to experience that ‘o h’ moment for the first time in their lives bc their childhoods#never let them have that #i assume#bc like op said klaus didnt go to a regular school and he wasnt p much stuck in that house and then he was on the streets so#and for dave like.. i guess he could’ve had that moment in school? but it would’ve been one-sided and he never would have#told anyone. 1960s. gay jewish man. yeah.#they’re each others first (and only) loves and i just really fucking adore that and live off of posts about them 

my tags on this post:: #what if he wasnt dead-dead though???#bc like… the day five found them all dead was apparently the day the apocalypse happened right? so its not like they’d been dead for days#weeks or w.e yknow??#and the time between klaus dying and coming back is varying and undetermined - there’s no canon timing for the length of his deaths#so what if he came back to life??#like okay i know its not really possible in canon bc five buried them i think?? or is that a fanon thing??#i cant remembering #anyway#but still - in general klaus not being permanently dead in the apocalypse is another possibility#and five didnt know about it bc after finding them all he began his 45 year journey#and klaus wakes up alone and essentially has to learn to survive and he doesnt know five was ever there bc..well.. yeah#five is long gone#maybe klaus lives out his days in that wasteland#and he doesnt remember it where five does bc five time traveled back and klaus didnt. the klaus that got stuck in the#apocalypse is a different klaus - like a different timeline. the klaus from ep1 never got stuck in the destroyed future so#he’d have no knowledge or memories of it or anything#or - second thought - he kills himself at some point after waking up and either begs god to let him stay dead or he strikes some kind of#deal with her so he doesnt have to return to whats left of earth#oooo or something happened that put a lock on his powers?? like yknow those cuffs and devices and stuff in stuff in fantasy that freeze the#users abilities?? that’d be an interesting plotpoint bc then like who did it and why and what was the last day really like? yknow#vanya’s meds but More is the idea #just a thought#but anyway idk im just a big fan of klaus with the inability to die and all the possibilities that brings 

my tags on this post::   #i’ve actually never stopped to consider why he didnt notice them except for my v first tua watch-thru#which is odd bc like that seems like a thing one should notice after a few watches??#but w.e #anyway#my only other hc for that part of the episode isnt that klaus didnt notice them bc he’s used to guns#it’s that he didn’t hear them#or that they weren’t loud enough -to him- to register as gunfire initially#bc like one of my close hcs is that he has bad hearing. growing up with people screaming in your ears 24-7 365 can’t exactly be good for#his ears now can it? and with how loud some of them are and how close they can get to him - without touching him - that’s just.. a lot of#fucking volume okay#now add in the academy’s mission alert siren#how loud he listens to his music with headphones on when he’s trying to drown out some REALLY LOUD SCREAMING#and then being near gunfire growing up. those bank robbers had guns and weren’t exactly a big distance away#all the raves and clubs and parties he goes to?? places where music is played so loud the room shakes and you cant hear anything else and#the music itself can be heard from blocks away?? that’s an indeterminable amount of intense noise#and then of course the gunfire of vietnam#so like… boys ears have SUFFERED. whether they wanna acknowledge that in canon or not#so the shooting at the theater - the shooting thats IN the theater - which is large and meant to house sound#thats happening across a big city street from where they’re standing and they’re behind the food truck and if klaus was ordering when it all#started that was just another level of sound and he’s not exactly focused bc everything is awful yknow?? so either it takes him a second to#notice or register it on his own or maybe he doesnt and ben says something?? idk but that’s kinda the field i’ve landed on for that scene#not that im not here for op’s hc!!! bc it really is a good one and it makes sense. im just rambling my own theory here bc i like considering#the Ways for Things sometimes. esp with klaus involved. this does make me wonder tho… if his hearing somehow is -fine- in canon…. h o w?#bc like bitch who tf can take all that and have perfect hearing?? thats gotta be impossible. if they are fine is it related to his powers#somehow?? like.. does his casual passing between life and death all the time mean he doesnt have mortal ear weaknesses? its weird but im..#i’ve got theories. 

my tags on this post:: #probably in the massive fucking pockets of his fluffy coat#see also:: a dealer’s place #a boyfriend’s place#an ex-boyfriend who is also a dealer’s place#a girlfriend’s place #a partner’s place#all ex’s of course bc dave is the only valid romantic relationship#he made friends with the person who owns a nearby thrift store and they help him out#he has a locker at a public place like the ymca#he only has one outfit before returning to the mansion so he has nothing to carry - ever on the move#he thiefs off of people in rehab and crackhouses he stayed in that are dumb enough to leave their shit unattended#when he sees something he likes or he feels its time for an outfit change#he mostly sticks with his lace up pants as far as bottom pieces go bc its much harder to sneak away with skirts#and the kind of crazy pants he likes. there’s only room for one pair of pants for this pan disaster#after returning to the mansion he has access to the funky gay clothes he had managed to aquire before leaving all those years ago#bc like… i kinda hc that he got out of there fast and probably higher than fuck and had nothing packed#have you ever tried to pack while high?? it’s harder than it has any right to be#crack theory:: he had a bag - we just never saw it bc in the beginning he wore it under his floofy coat bc safety and he didnt need it the#rest of the time.#i have a lot of thoughts and headcanony opinions about klaus’s time on the streets so thank u#for giving me a place to dump some of them   

[tianshanz]

What's your favorite anime? And why?

heyo!! thanks for the ask because holy damn, and this specific question is a good one for me because i could go on and on about this anime

my favorite anime of all time, and one of my favorite mangas, is durarara!! for many many reasons, but let me go over a few of them.

POST CONTAINS SPOILERS

first of all, lets go back to when i was 11 or 12 years old and id just heard of durarara from a friend of mine. thought it would be boring, and honestly, in the beginning i did. i thought that the first few episodes were slow, so i put it down for a while. but when i returned i realized WHY the first few episodes are slow. because once you get past them, the story progresses like a gunshot and everything goes crazy. which i absolutely loved.

i watched the dub, which to this day i stand by, loving the durarara dub. and johnny yong bosch’s voice for izaya is one of my biggest inspirations for wanting to become a voice actress.

so lets get into the full reasons why i love this anime so much. we have to start on the animation, the art style. of course i was way into the manga art style, and went absolutely fuckin nuts when i saw the second series was going to have an art style more similar to the manga. the characters are drawn in a way that makes them unique, especially in the manga the facial expressions were so vivid and, in izayas case, absolutely terrifying.

so that brings me to my favorite part of the series. the characters. in anime you tend to get the cliche characters-- the protag, the tsundere, the loli, things like that, but durarara was never like that for me.

it was the first time i ever saw a creature like celty in an anime, id never seen a dullahan or even heard of one, so props to narita for including that. there was never a character made to specifically fit into a cliche. even walker and erika, who on the surface seem like typical otakus, are nothing at all just “typical otakus”

and oh god, the dynamic between shizuo and izaya. lemme tell ya. this isnt a shizaya stan post but man am i a slut for some shizaya. but canon shizuo and izaya discourse was so interesting. the dynamic between them was nothing like a typical enemies or rivals situation id seen. these two genuinely wanted to see the other suffer, and why was this?

because izaya was a sadist and shizuo had a bad feeling about him.

of course there was stuff after that, fueling the rage and hatred between them, but there was such a genuine desire to kill each other and it was so cool to see (plus their fight scenes were glorious).

mikado was one of the most interesting characters in the series to me, aside from izaya. he starts out as an innocent guy who fears everything but we learn that not only is he the leader and founder of the dollars, but he has a side of him that is willing to hurt and kill and destroy for his own gain.

izaya orihara is almost the opposite in this sense. in volume 13 of the light novels, shinra says this about izaya.  

"He may seem cold-blooded, but he is more human, and his heart more brittle than anybody else, so much so that if you filled it with human love or betrayal, it would break easily, which is why, I think, he chose from the start to avoid it all, to love humanity, you understand? Not to accept, not to face it, to avoid it." 

as opposed to mikados idea to act innocent to hide a darker side of himself, izaya opts to darken his personality and exterior to hide his inner turmoil. and thats what makes every one of his decisions so much more interesting. if only to protect his own heart, he pushes everyone away with his manipulations and his schemes. also, with my own interest in psychology and human observation, i relate to him a little bit.

lastly, i wanted to take a part of this to talk about how this series had a huge focus on companionship, love, and obsession. 

when it comes to companionship, there was a huge focus on the friendship between anri, mikado, and masaomi. the three of them were close from the beginning, but all the drama and violence brought them even closer than they ever could be without it. mikado was so distraught over the way he hurt others he was scared to hurt his real friends, leading him to attempt suicide. 

and despite his own injuries, masaomi ignored his own pain to try and talk mikado out of it. in his own, special way (in the dub he called mikado a pussy lol). but they all got out okay, thankfully, and in the end there was a focus on them being together, safe and sound, away from the chaos and hatred.

when it comes to love, there was a huge focus on shinra and celty. i think ive never seen a couple as wholesome as those two (as pervy as shinra is). shinra casted away all humans, finding them uninteresting. makes sense his first and only love would be a supernatural creature.

the two had such a genuine love, shinra would do anything for celty, even going to the extent to destroy her head in the end so she would stay in ikebukuro with him. as strange as it sounds, he knew she would need that push to stay where she truly wanted to be. and celty would do anything for shinra, the reason she was leaving ikebukuro was to protect him.

and obsession, oh boy was there a lot of themes of obsession. aside from the obvious choice of talking about haruna niekawa, lets go for something less but still obvious. shizuo and izayas rivalry.

yall cant tell me there wasnt a degree of obsession in their relationship. shizuo and izaya were absolutely obsessed with each other, but as much as crazy shizaya stans will wanna convince you, this was not a romantic obsession. not even a sexual obsession, the two were just genuinely obsessed with hurting each other. for the adrenaline, for revenge, for fun, whatever part it was, there was a heavy blanket of obsession between the two of them.

i mean seriously, these two were so obsessed with killing each other that they were essentially killing themselves. its amazing to see that much dedication, and it was all because they hated each other. no normal person would go to such an extent for someone they were not desperately obsessed with. obviously, obsession doesnt always have to do with sex or love, let izaya and shizuo be your examples on that bit of info.

this post was a mess, and it was all over the place, but i tried my best to convey my thoughts and feelings for this show into words. its hard for me, because this show means so much to me, and a lot of it i cant really explain, its a deep rooted love that i dont think ill ever let go of. this has been my favorite anime for 6 years, and most likely will continue to be my favorite anime throughout the years to come.

[fancydancing]

Virtue Moir - The musical

Let’s take a little musical journey starting with Stay and ending with YRMW. 

I don’t have an objective bone in my body when it comes to this topic, so I let other people do the talking. (I might have only picked comments that fit my narrative, but I’m only human, give me a break!) 

**I put this together very quickly, so please forgive any mistakes**

**Also, it’s very long, but you have to read to the end to get the whole story**

Let’s begin...

Stay - Rihanna

Song meaning according to VM:

“It’s really about this couple who’s madly in love and long for each other, but they keep missing each other and can’t get their timing quite right to make it work in the end.”

And oh yeah, didn’t Scott say that this was their story? Hmmm...

According to anonymous experts on the internet:

I think it is about two people that are completely in love, but are dealing with their own personal battles. He is the one that is "broken" (maybe mental illness), but she was in a place in life that she needed to be saved from emotionally. He is the only one that she feels can help her fill this emptiness she has been living with. He says its not much of a life she's living, and that she never sees the light. Life isn't something you take, it is given. Live it, don't just let it pass you by. He wants her to get out and live and stop being depressed. She needs help being there for him, it is dragging her down, but she loves him and wants to help him get through it. Round and around and around they go... meaning they keep dealing with this same battle over and over and over again trying to help each other, and it doesn't seem to be getting better. All they know, is they need the other and can't get through it alone, but it's a huge struggle trying to keep helping the other and pulling each other up.

**

The two each came into the other's life for some helping reason. They came to realize that they were both in need of help and helping. An unanticipated affection grew for one another. They end up genuinely caring for each other and not just serving themselves. The concept is foreign to them; they are stripped "naked" of pretenses...beyond mental or physical desires...they care for someone outside theirselves. It is a new unadulterated and pure place, and they are trying to understand it.

Into the Mystic  - Van Morrison

Most interpretations say it’s about the end of a long journey and beginning a new path into the unknown. All I know is ST choreographed it themselves in his (or hers?) kitchen.

Anonymous sources say:

“Into the Mystic.... Into the the unknown without fear with your soulmate at your side”

"At the very end Van sings: too late to stop now, suggesting that the song also describes an act of love." 

Good Kisser - Usher

This song left me screaming, “TMI! TMI!” I want to know whose idea it was to skate to this song? And did VM understand what Usher was talking about? Because I really never paid too much attention to the lyrics although I’d heard the rumors. 

And did they perform this IN FRONT OF THEIR PARENTS?? (no pun intended)

That’s all I have to say about this song. 

How Will I Know - Originally by Whitney Houston

I thought this comment summed it up pretty nicely:

“She still is unsure of how he feels, she doesn't know. He hasn't made it clear. Gave her reassurance or made any plans. She's sick of waiting by the phone for nothing to happen. If he wants her in his life hell have to communicate the good ol fashion way. If not than he obviously doesn't. She wants to marry him but if that's never possible she would settle for SPECIAL friends or even just good friends. She just wants to be part of his life and world like she has made him part of. She's giving him another chance and if he doesn't take it soon she can't promise the opp will always be available. He hurt her. She still tried. She wishes he would be comfortable with her as she is with them. They got along great and it was so easy. That's what doesn't make sense to her. There's no need to have fear. She's made her case. Hopefully she'll know sooner than later.”

What's Love Got to Do With It - Originally by Tina Turner

“I think that this song is about a woman who doesn't want to fall in love again with an obviously attractive man due to a bad relationship experience in the past.”

***** “This man is obviously (sexually) very attractive (his touch makes her "pulse react") but for her own "protection" she says to him 'nope sir', a guy won't cause me a "broken heart" (again).” **** “In the refrain she just asks a general question about the value of love at all, she concludes that love in real life is not what it is suppopsed to be according to ones imagination and /or dreams. At first you fall in love with an attractive man but than your heart will be broken (he will cheat or misstreat you). But she also states that she isn't all happy about her beeing reluctant to love because she actually doesn't really want to spend her life alone. "But I have to say... It scares me to feel this way" because even though she has made bad experience in the past, she still has hope that she will find the right one finally. On the other hand it might be interpreted as a song about a woman who uses to have sex with the guys but doesn't wand to start deeper relationships with them because real love can turn out painful. (She likes to have a 'higher pulse rate' but doesn't want to have a 'broken heart'”

***

“As for the meaning of the song,i think it's simply about how the word love is just thrown around in a relationship,without any real thought,I saying you love someone,doesn't mean anything if you continue to hurt them,and the guy in the song is just using the word love to make up for all the hurt,which is just unacceptable to the woman.Now i'm a guy but I agree with this song because I feel that also if a girl hurts a guy and tries to make up for the hurt by using the word love,it's meaningless and unacceptable.”

Sorry - Justin Bieber

Co-writer Julia Michaels:

“I immediately thought back to the time that my boyfriend and I broke up. Three months later he came back to my door and was like, ‘I’m really sorry.’ Everyone can relate to fucking up and asking for mercy.

We were just trying to capture that moment in a relationship or a particular moment in your life where you realize you made a mistake and you’re finally ready to admit it and apologize.”

 Latch - Sam Smith

I’ve already done a song analysis on this:

https://scottandtessasactinglessons.tumblr.com/post/172574202160/music-over-analysis-101-latch-so-im-going-to

Tessa said this:

The whole program wants to show fragility and strength, especially to find strength in fragility, and always have to pay and get in a relationship In the first part of the music, Scott lifts me up and supports me with the body. In second part their relationship becomes complicated, full of struggle, resentment and confusion. But in the end they are happy, free and in love. “We have more specific story line, but we wouldn’t tell about it” said Virtue with a smile. “Then we want to go on and see, how this relationship can unfold. We will work on it with our art director.”

From the internet experts:

“Latch's message is never let go love, of key-to-lock (or latch). The video shows couples who barely met becoming intimate. By just focusing on the instant and choosing couples who can't be that man-to-woman latch-to-key lifelong relationship, the video basically misses the point of the lyrics. The meaning of Disclosure Latch can be found in the keywords "shackle" "wrapped" "locked" or even Latch. The words evoke things that bind two together in an unbreakable union. All of these go tied with the most frequent word in the song: "Never." (21 times!) The love Latch sings about is a love never supposed to end, a lock that will never let go. This is the way love is meant to feel. And the feelings are meant to make us live a commitment of never let go.”

 Come what May - Ewan MacGregor and Nicole Kidman 

This doesn’t really need much analysis. The meaning is pretty obvious. But here’s some expert analysis anyway:

“...but rather it is saying that not matter what other extraneous stuff is going on in their lives, they are saying it doesnt matter, hence "come what may" because they are still going to love each other no matter what else occurs...”

“The song plays an important role in the film. When the forbidden strong and close romantic relationship between Christian and Satine has been discovered, Christian pens this romance song and includes it in the musical he is currently writing. Each time either of them sings this song, they can secretly declare their equally deep and true romantic love for each other.”

Long Time Running - Tragically Hip

It appears that no one really knows how to interpret this song. I read interpretations ranging from it’s a song about divorce and depression to people who are planning to use it at their wedding. 

Now I could go into what I think but it’s already been done beautifully by wishfulwannabee:

“Not only have they both said that they relate to this program and the song mirrors their relationship, but let’s take a look at both the program and the song. If you look at the lyrics, the song is actually quite heartbreaking and follows two people in love who can never seem to find a good way to get together. The lyrics changes from “it’s a grave mistake” to “it’s the same mistake” to “it’s a great mistake”, so obviously the song evolves with the relationship. “We don’t go anywhere, just on trips” hits me bc it’s like they test out the waters of the relationship but it never goes anywhere. It’s honestly a song filled with so many emotions and a messy relationship that wants to be somewhere but stumbles along the way to getting there. Now let’s just briefly talk about the program (which they choreographed themselves btw). For me, it seems that the “characters” are trying to chase after each other. There is never a moment where they both want each other. Whenever one is chasing, the other isn’t looking their way. It seems like there was never a good time for them to both want each other the same way at the same time. Until the end when they come together the way that they started. In unison. On the same page.” 

http://wishfulwannabe.tumblr.com/post/172369040350/ok-but-we-dont-talk-about-tessa-and-scotts-long

Here are some other thoughts from the internet experts:

“Part of what makes The Tragically Hip so unique as artists is that their work appeals on many different levels simultaneously, much like the song “Long Time Running.” It’s a beautiful, gut-wrenching ballad even if you don’t listen to the lyrics. If you pay any passing attention to them, you add a hint of whimsicality to the proceedings. But if you dig deeper, and if you have a background that’s at all rooted in the same influences or spaces that permeate the band’s storytelling, then you’re granted a song that encompasses regret, longing, heartache, and a clever undercurrent of Canadiana and esoteric references.”

***

“I believe this speaks on history. Likely as with everyone there were dark times endured with having to live through a break in relationships in some points in his life. I feel like he had a core feeling long ago he had a path he was meant to follow. Part of path with his huge heart we could see was to help bring ppl together( through music ). In all respects the song is looking so strong to become one of Canada’s treasured love songs about perseverance of various aspects of life in sickness as well as love and or success. And a heartfelt turned gently into a eulogy as well that’s sang with such perfect emotion you can feel the pain exhaustion as well accomplished goal - happy with how you lived out your life.”

You Rock My World - Michael Jackson

The experts say:

“MJ is saying that this girl he loves has a profound positive affect in his life, and sexual satisfaction…and he is willing to give everything he owns to keep her.”

“Michael has finally found someone who makes him feel whole. This girl obviously feels like the missing link he has been waiting for.”

“He goes on to describe a truthful love because this girl is herself. He never wants her to change and he tells her that in these lyrics.”

“Michael never thought he would find a Love like hers that is so uncommon, and he feels lucky and honored to be able to have it.”

And finally, this from a website that was just some random guy ranting about GOD and SEX and SIN and SEX and SPIRITUALITY and SEX and the DEVIL and SEX with a little LUST thrown in for good measure.

“YOU ROCK MY WORLD is marinated in sexual juices from its very beginning. It was conceived in the steamy rock-pop culture of the late Michael Jackson.

So then, THE ORIGINAL AND REAL MEANING of YOU ROCK MY WORLD comes from Michael Jackson being rocked into a SEXUAL FRENZY. You flip me out! You rock my boat. You get it on! You send me over the top! You take me beyond all limitations! You break all barriers! You rock me into rapture! Give it to me! Come on girl!

“I am reminded of the words of Shakespeare:

“LUST IS THE EXPENSE OF THE SPIRIT IN A WASTE OF  

SHAME. IT SQUANDERS THE ENERGIES OF LIFE.”

But this guy might be on to something because he closes with this:

“THAT MAN WHO IS ADDICTED TO SENSUALISM AND

FLESHLY APPETITES WILL HAVE LITTLE

APPETITE FOR THE SPIRITUAL WHICH

IS SEASONED BY  VIRTUE.”

What a perfect way to wrap this little story up!

So to recap:

We’re totally in love, but we keep missing each other and/or we just can't make it work (Stay). 

We’re ending this long journey (competitive skating) and we’re moving into the unknown (separate lives - Into the Mystic). 

Ummm, detour! Usher singing about oral sex! PERFECT! The children in the audience won’t understand! (Good Kisser). 

I love you, but I don’t know how you feel about me. (HWIK). 

I love you, I want to be with you, but I’m afraid of getting hurt. (WLGTDWI). 

I screwed up, I’m sorry, it’ll never happen again (Sorry). 

Yes, we’re scared, but we love each other and we’re going to take a chance and commit to being together (Latch). 

We’re declaring our true, deep romantic and secret love for each other. And no matter what happens, we’ll always be together (Come What May). 

Now, we’re wrapping up our skating career and we’re finally on the same page and our current relationship was worth the wait (Long time running). 

Now, everything is perfect, this is what we’ve been waiting for and yes, the sex is amazing (YRMW)!

Phew!

[saggy-tare-ious]

The Signs I Know - Sag POV

aries - my 11 year old bro is an aries and we argue like there’s no fuckin tomorrow. he annoys me so fucking much. he gets angry a far bit. very defensive. if i joke around about his appearance or how he does something will jump down my throat and yell. needs to chill out. doesn’t always take a joke. depends on his mood. he LOVES history like holy shit. when he was younger would run around and get into everything. doesn’t really move as much now HAHAH. isn’t interested in sports. sensitive. is awkward? stands weirdly and doesn’t look people in the eye. looks up a lot. plays xbox a lot. changes his interests so much. loves everything to do with world war 1 and 2. freaks me out a bit. wants to be in the army himself. has big fits. can get violent. he also has to have the last fucking word. like even if it’s a grunt or a random nose. does. my. fucking. head. in. IS NOSY ASF. so clingy with my mum. wants a hug all the fucking time. will piss me off then 10 minutes later will come into my room and tell me he loves me. fuck off. i also know this aries guy and he is a massive fuckboy. maybe a good friend but is scum when it comes to a relationship.

taurus - ik two taurus. the first one is so stubborn and is such a fuckin asshole honestly. we dated for like 2 weeks, kill me. he eats so much no joke. goes to the canteen every. fucking. day. he loaded. doesn’t share...... sometimes he does tho. he will go to the canteen and come back with like 3 meat pies 4 sausage rolls a bag of lollies a soda and a chocolate milk and won’t fucking share. most of the time he doesn’t eat all of his food so instead of giving to me or others he throws it at our leo ranga friend HAHAHAH bless him. he’s so uptight. he’s like that homophobe dad. he talks shit so much. and when he gets caught will throw anyone under the bus if if they didn’t do shit just to get himself out of it. jealous. the other taurus ik is a girl and do not like her. she makes me cringe so so so much. she sings 24/7. it’s not like she’s bad it’s just we are in fucking mATHS. jesUS. she said one time that she is a white girl with A BLACK GIRLS BOOTY like wtaf. girl you ain’t shit. it’s also like she mistakes sc as musically. no one wants to see you lip sing to some shitty radio song....... ok ok ok she’s not all bad she is actually quite smart and a good singer just needs to sTop.

gemini - ik quite a biiiit of gemini’s. all the gemini guys ik are HUGE flirts. one of them is one of my best guy friends and honestly has a new girl each week. we get along so fucking easy. is a trouble maker at school with his other guy friends. does the most stupidest and funniest shit they do anything to annoy the teacher in some way. the aries fuckboy is apart of his group. he lets people walk all of him especially if they are a love interest. forgives too easily but will be mad for fucking ages and then forgive them. funny asf. doesn’t do too good at school is dropping out next year. but he is very smart just doesn’t try. i have another gemini bff but she is very possessive in a relationship. will do and drop everyone for her partner. her current realtionship is toxic. both good people buttttt she is too obsessed. she is adorable and get real good grades. very hardworking and tries her best. funny. parties 24/7. alcoholic. serious but not at the same time. reaaal good at writing. said she wanted to be a journalist. says she’s a vegan HHAHAH

cancer - another one of my guy friends is cancer and he is moody asfffff. so many stereotypes in this post HAHAH. but it’s fucking true. he can be such a fucking asshole. cold one minute hit the next. he is like an angry dad. he is cold and doesn’t speak too much. but he’s funny. would fuck. star wars obsessed and does nothing with his life but play xbox. doesn’t care too much about school. found out he likes me tho he doesn’t show it too much. but he has said to me that he hates it when the other guys in our group touch me etc so i guess he’s protective ? he copies other guys style and hair ? literally tried to be this guy at our school until someone called him out on it. reaalll good at guitar.

leo - ik two stone head, beautiful, would fuck leo’s and a ranga leo WHO IS HILARIOUS ASF. bless him too bits. the ranga is also in my group along with the cancer and taurus. he tries to be liked by everyone and does what everyone tells him to do just to be funny. will bully and abuse other people just to be funny and to be liked. he thinks he will be this big youtuber. he honestly changes how he is so much around his ‘friends’ who tell him to do the most stupidest shit just they don’t bully him. he is creative and good at art. doesn’t take his job serious at all. i mean it’s a fast food restaurant. but anyways he doesn’t take it serious. doesn’t get angry too much but when he does it’s scary. talks shit. two faced. pride is easily hurt.

virgo - she is a perfectionist honestly. doesn’t cross out or white out anything bc it will look messy. does drama and music. good at art. real good grades. kind of a serious person ? don’t know her too much.

libra - is the mum of the group like holy shit. an alcoholic mum more like it. will talk to a guy for a week then drop them bc she got bored. gets a lot of guys bet then doesn’t at the same time ? responsible af but parties all the time. so much like a mum. love her but then hate her. no where in between.

scorpio - my mum is a scorp. we argue all the fucking time. will talk for ages at the lady at the cash register. is STUCK IN THE FUCKING PAST. brings up everything from the past can’t get over it. like stfu i don’t want to hear it. real negative. complains all the time. judgement. acts like she does everything in the house. she doesn’t. also acts like my brother and i are 3 and are hard to look after. even tho we do everything she asks to do and practically stay in our rooms all the time. she has no friends. says she doesn’t need them. trust issues. gives out second chances even tho she says she doesn’t. needs to chill tf out. my scorpio guy friend is touchy asf. needs to know what a personal bubble is. judgmental asf. laughs at evrythiiiiing. we talk about people we hate together in maths.

sagittarius - i knooow soo manyyy sags. my dad included and i love him to bits. we hardly fight unlike my bro and mum, still love them thooo. he complains the whole time when going shopping probably the only time where i want to kick his head in. funny asf too bless him. afl fanatic. loves sports. real short. like 5”6. my two bff are sags one is sporty asf and sensitive the other parties all the time is quite distant ? the sporty one is honestly so fucking weird never met someone like her. hard to put her to words. she falls in ‘love’ easily too. well crushes easily. she literally fell in love with a guy at our school who she never talked to b he was real good at guitar. she’s veryyyh sensitive. need to be careful of what i say. she annoys me so fucking much. we argue a lot too. but i love her. the party animal one is adorable and kind of responsible? she’s like scared of getting in trouble and will avoid it at all costs. funny and sarcastic. stone head. plays netball. tried to go vegan. good ass eyebrows. they both do actually.

capricorn - dated 2 of them. both funny. one is now a massive stone head. kind of a drop kick now tbh. the other is so so so funny and sporty asf. real jealous. said he’s loved me since he was in yr 7. he’s a year older. but we’ve hardly ever spoke ? HAHAHAH we’ve had a convo here and there but i hardly know anything about him. would ask me out all time. i finally gave in when i was in yr 8. it could’ve actually lasted longer then it did. he isn’t a bad guy. but me being a sag freaked out and dumped him after 4 days HAHAHHA. he is cringy online. loveesss his lil sister.

aquarius - we talked not dated and i like him so much i even considered if i loved him. ew cringe ik. maybe i’ll do a post just for him ? HAHA i must find out his time of birth 🤔 anywaysss he is weird, like it’s like he tries to weird or different. again cliches ik. watches so much documentaries. can’t swallow pills. belives meat and pills will kill us. thanks to documentaries. said he was a vegan for a day. good at sports. has a job with the leo and takes it seriously. horNY ASF. will ask for nudes even after you say no. just want someone to fuck. funny kind of? Hahha. has like social anxiety. looks depressed all the time. won’t talk to anyone unless you do. but then again he doesn’t look interested the whole time and makes you feel like shit and says he doesn’t care about what you say bc it’s boring him ? but yet tells me borin ass things idc about either but i listen and look interested ? HAHAH KILL ME. doesnt try too much in school unless he has no friends in that class. good at maths. says he doesn’t care all the time. SO FUCKING SENSITIVE AND A CRY BABY

pisces - my bff is a pisces and i love her to bits. we would never admit this to each other tho. she laughs a lot, which i like bc she laughs at everything i say and do. sensitive. popular. social. literally cannot go a week without going somewhere. hates to be by herself. doesnt try at school which pisses me off so much as i’m a try hard who gets straight a’s HAHAH. i often wonder wtf she will do with her life. good at art. creative. good music taste and style. we have the SAME humour. every guy loves her ass. can’t order her own food. has been diagnosed with depression when she was younger. it’s hard for to get things car both question if she has dyslexia. my best guy friend is also a pisces. he is real fucking sensitive. lost a shit ton of weight. i wonder daily if he eats. looks depressed asf. will let you speak. puts up with my questions about life and tries to answer them the best he can. we talk about whatever tbh. found out he likes me. wouldn’t go there. he is like a brother. bless him. used to be a big fucking asshole but has grown up a bit. has random knowledge about random things. on his phone and listening to music all the time. plays the bass. honestly reminds me of dan howell and suga.

======

first post. just getting into astrology. well i’ve known about astrology and my chart for about 3 years but only now am i actually ‘delving into it’ ? don’t expect much HAHAH

[estherroberts]

june barlowe

part of advanced PLACEMENT: an ars PARADOXICA high school au about a gang of queer teen nerds, by @estherroberts​​ , @podcastmecaptain, and @lizzieraindrops

all three of the aformentioned dorks are responsible for the hijinks found in this post. today though, it’s @estherroberts especially. (that’s me!)

click here for the au masterpost | track #ars placement for updates!

ALSO: things aren’t always showing up in the tags, so your most reliable bet is the aforementioned masterpost.

this is one of many individualized advanced PLACEMENT works, for the stories of each character involved. we each picked three kids to write about, and this is the second one of mine! without further ado, here’s june! 

june and her family are from california

specifically, a little suburb outside of los angeles

her childhood as far as she can remember is pretty great

she’s been playing viola since she was little

she has an older brother who plays football, they pretty much stay out of each other’s way

her parents both make a lot of money, but her father gets this wild idea that they absolutely have to move back to the town his grandfather was from, and he and his wife always work from home anyway  

of course, it’s point-of-exile, CO

and to june, it does feel like an exile, because she is leaving everything and everyone behind

june barlowe is 14 years old when they move, and she has lived her life blissfully believing that she is a heterosexual. she does not, in fact, really spend much time thinking about it

sure, there were gays in la. but did she have reason to talk to them? or consider that she might be one? not really

june is tiny her freshman year. tiny and scrappy and already angry, tho at what, sometimes she doesnt even know

it’s the first day, and she’s in orchestra, 6th period. she might be new to the school but she’s been playing viola for years and she knows if she cant make friends anywhere else she’ll at least have the strings

and helen, though new to high school, is not new to the kids, or somehow, the band room, or the teacher

and june is just kinda floored by her, because she’s literally so beautiful and confident and so out of june’s idea of normal that june is just like, what. the fuck.

and helen asks her what she plays and she says viola and helens eyes light up because she heard all the violists graduated and they needed new ones and sorry dear what was your name again

and june says june, and helen says, “that’s my favorite month” and june is just, like, dead

helen asks june to come to lunch with her and they talk about everything and everyone and it doesn’t take long before they already know each other’s life stories and have moved on to gossiping about everyone else

june, because she’s june and she’s cis, puts her foot in her mouth multiple times during the course of this conversation and but helen can see that she’s trying and helen is helen, even at 14, and so she explains something and gently tells june when she’s said something offensive

and june, tho performative in most of her emotions, manages to keep her cool and just nods and takes in helen’s corrections

they become friends really really fast

three months into their friendship they have their first downton abbey tea shit-talking session at helen’s house and it’s the most fun june has ever had

they make it a weekly ritual and alternate between their houses, at first with some raised eyebrows from june’s parents, but they learn to hide their judgement lest they risk incurring june’s already protective fury

or helen’s cool superiority

sophomore year things start to get rough at june’s house

her parents fight all the time and she hides in her room and practices viola as loud as she can so that she doesn’t hear them anymore

but it never works

her older brother sometimes comes into check on her but he’s kind of a stoner so he isn’t too much help

and she gets worse grades and her parents are Disappointed and she gets angrier

she starts having trouble keeping all that anger inside of her

she doesn’t have the motivation or the dedication to work on improving her performance in school, the only thing she wants to do is work on her music

she still has weekly tea with helen, and when she’s done ranting about her parents she listens to helen talk about her first girlfriend, the one who later goes to boarding school

and june starts to wonder if the fluttery feeling that never goes away when she’s with helen is, well, if it’s a crush

because it certainly feels like one

she tries pushing it to the back of her mind

tries to pretend it’s not there but

she can’t really hide it from herself anymore

june’s parents, who could never stand to have a daughter make her career in the arts, push her to take up a sport

she joins track, and meets quentin, and god help her he is the cutest button ever and so smart and she helps him train and he helps her with science and he promises to join orchestra the next year

everyone on the track team ships them

early in june’s junior year, they start going out

he always pulls out chairs and holds open doors for her

he’s always ready with a sarcastic quip under his breath, usually intended for just her ears

he doesn’t flinch away from her sharp edges, literally or metaphorically, and neither is he afraid to be soft around her

and somehow, she kind of relaxes into that

they get along sooo well and there’s a Lot of physical chemistry too and she’s just, she can’t believe she’s lucky enough to be with someone like him, someone as good and generous and stable as him and someone who makes her laugh the way he does and-

and june is happy with quentin, really truly happy

and she tries to tell herself that this is enough, that this is all she needs

it almost works.

but god damn she’s still getting butterflies when helen plays with her hair, or holds her hand, or tells her she’s beautiful

and one afternoon they’re watching like a gay movie or something at helen’s and june is upside down on the couch with her head dangling off and she says “hey, helen”  "yeah?“  "i think i’m bisexual” “that’s delightful!” “thanks”

(a side note here, if you’re wondering how helen sees her best friend june:

in helen’s eyes, june is so so full of life and passionate and she gets invested in everything and she’s impulsive and impatient and furious and so so powerful

and she loves deep and hates deeper and holds grudges and fights terfs and homophobes on the internet and goes after her goals and never holds back

and sometimes, when june’s with quentin, or laying on the couch, her legs in helens lap and clutching a pillow, sometimes, she melts

and helen melts too )

and that’s pretty much it and things proceed as normal for them

and june, who is both literally and figuratively growing into herself (shes v tol now) looks online at all the bisexual resources available to her and consumes them all

she comes out to quentin too and they have a “i’m bi!” “i’m a demi guy!” moment and it brings them a lot closer together

they jump up and down

it’s fucking adorable

more on this in the quentin section

it’s early senior year now and helen and anthony are together and june’s working retail and still doing track and still playing viola and her grades are still less than ideal

and things are still rly hard at home

she can’t sleep because sometimes she hears plates breaking or cabinets getting punched

she wishes there was something she could do to fix things for her family but she can’t think of anything expect to literally plead with them to get a divorce

her brother has moved out and now there is no buffer, any anger her parents harbor at each other gets thrown onto her

so not only do her parents fight with each other, now they’re fighting with her

and then of course,

the mornings are the worst

they are wrought with passive aggressive sugary sweet falsities that make june want to literally rip her hair out

she can hear the venom seeping into her parents voices, she knows they can hear it in each other’s

so why are they pretending everything’s okay?

why??

june doesn’t really deal with any of this well at all

she gets in fights at school a lot, she argues with her teachers

sometimes she just really wants to inflict pain in anyway she can and she doesn’t know why or how and it hurts her too

her friendship with the gang, however, is now fully formed. she loves them all so much? it’s ridiculous to her, that she could care about that many people?? but she does. she so does. even though most of them are so nerdy it physically hurts her.

she is FIERCELY protective of all of them, and so even though she shows no outward affection to most of them, they know she cares

one time some a-hole was talking with his buddies, throwing around all kinds of slurs with regards to esther and bridget

and june just kinda let her fists fly (again)

she got in trouble at home and at school for that

so lately she tries to defend her friends with her words

but it’s so much easier to just sort of, LOOM over assholes until they start crying

at one point, her and quentin both want to try kissing other people but they don’t want to break up so they have what they call The Kissing Week and reported back to each other on the quality of kissing

and eventually, she gathers up the courage to ask him if he’d be down for a poly kinda set up, ever, and he shrugs bc he’s an easy going guy and is like “seriously, that’d be rad, like i love you but if you feel like you want to explore other options go for it”

and she’s like "i love you too, so so much”

and leaves for helen’s

the distance from helen’s to june’s is not a normal person walking distance but june is not a normal person, and she is running after texting quentin to make absolutely sure he’s okay with this harebrained scheme

she has some series of vivaldi concerto playing in her headphones and she’s already halfway there before she notices and she has to stop bc she’s doubled over laughing

and like, she can’t believe she’s really doing this, i mean sure things are kind of already poly on helen’s side, what with the weird nerd thing anthony and sally have so it’s not that she thinks helen will be weirded out by that it’s just that it’s been three years and some change and she’s risking SO much on this and she’s finally saying something, and, vivaldi is still playing

she doesn’t have the heart to change the song after that and so she keeps running

and so she shows up at helen’s and she’s like, one of those gross people who looks more beautiful after they work out

and she takes out her headphones and she’s like, apologizing for being out of breath and helen’s like, “you have a REALLY nice car and you RAN here.”

and june’s like, “i had to????”

and she comes in and helen already has their tea ready and it’s done just the way june likes it and they sit down at the table and june is like, shaking. she won’t even pick up her cup bc she knows it’ll rattle too much

and helen knows something’s up and she doesn’t say anything she just picks up june’s hands and holds them to steady them

and june says “helen, i- i didn’t really think this through, because i don’t think anything through, but, i’m here and i might as well just,”

she takes a deep breath, “i’ve kind of been a little in love with you, like, forever? and it wasn’t until last year that i realized how much and then i was with quentin and then you were anthony and things were really good and i didn’t want to ruin it but then like, it occured to me that it could be possible to have both ? maybe? if you want that? and if not that’s okay and if i tanked my relationship my favorite person in the world i’m so sorry,“

and helen, who has not let go of her hands, is smiling her shining heavenly smile

and she says "darling, it certainly took you long enough”

and june, for the first time in her memory, cries

and they spend the rest of the afternoon cuddled on the couch and they don’t talk as much but helen does text to make sure it’s okay with anthony, who just sends back

“finally”

(ofc helen told anthony that she liked june ages ago. he’s as observant as a brick he had no idea june liked helen too)

(but sort of like how she knew june was bi before june did, she didn’t say anything to her bc june is the kind of person who can’t be told things, she has to go her own way (which is the slow way)))

(but helen is a goddess and she has the patience of a saint so she waited, and boy did it pay off)

additional june things:

june is really good at time management

she’s also very tall- that’s the first thing you notice about her. the second thing you notice is that she’s rich.

you know this because of her sunglasses, her purse, the way she stands, the way she looks down her nose at you like she’s just a litttttle more important than you are

she has a lot of hair. it is long and luxurious and curly and it falls around her face when she pushes her sunglasses to the top of her head

she’s kind of streamlined, like, aerodynamically efficient? like she toned herself to cut through the air and probably your face

she wears her hair down in school and up when she works out and when she is nervous she twirls and twirls and twirls

and her tinted lenses she uses for reading do not come with her to school because she is afraid of exposing weakness

she has greenish blue eyes and she doesn’t break a stare and her eyebrows are always perfect

she dresses half masculine and half feminine

she loves white tank tops and jeans but also

soft floral dresses and blouses

she really likes combat boots

she 100% owns her position as the Dad Friend

bridget got her a shirt that says “Dad Bod on fleek” and she wears it unironically

this also means she does view all her younger friends as her kids and absolutely responds to “dad” or “pops”

she recently developed a close friendship with anthony but neither of them will ever admit that’s what it is

they have, surprisingly, a lot in common

when it gets rough at home they meet at the gym to box

anthony brings gatorade and june brings music

fighting each other is better than getting in fights at school, of course

(helen is the one who made them both get gym memberships and she is quietly very happy that the two of them hang out, even if they’ve never exchanged a single nice word)

one time june tricked anthony into buying three matches from her at five dollars each

one time anthony “accidentally” gave june a black eye

june and sally tolerate each other, which mostly includes them making fun of each other’s heights

her and esther are finally in a good place too

and there is no one better to plan a prank with than jack wyatt

june is still kind of in shock that she’s dating two perfect humans

despite her haughty and conceited attitude she sometimes wonders if she even deserves them

but they remind her that she does and she is happy

though the dynamic is really so different with each one

oh and OF COURSE quentin and helen never have any reason to be jealous of each other

they know that june has enough love to give for both of them