#but it still applies here I think
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even if I came to love humanity in the end, there’s no proof I was ever here, right?
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#my art#slow downer lyrics..i am applying them to dokja#please..i cant put the entire song lyrics but my god#'i called out an incoherent name in this new old world'#'i loiter in paradise the hope i was accustomed to blocked off my path of retreat'#literally agonised me#maybe this doesnt even make sense#the yjhs standing on the subway yellow lines overlooking the edge#but i kinda lost the plot here#its ok#havent even finished orv yet but whenever i think about the very concept of dokja i lowkey kms in my head for 80000 years#also 52hz's 'a dreamless sleep'#i guess just the sense of being untethered to the world with just this one thing keeping you still here#hits me hard#wait i linked the original slow downer version but obviously (see username) the niigo one is leagues better
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This fic is leaving rent free in my head since a week so go read it: Haunting by @iiidunno : https://archiveofourown.org/works/54832273/chapters/138984958 [Edit] ok I put half a BG 'cause really It was bothering me
#star wars#star wars the bad batch#tbb fanart#tbb fanfiction#never drawn something so complex kill me#Yes I gave up on the color halfway#Anyway the pictures are just here to lure you into reading this fic who again PRINTED in my brain#I want to apply for SW zines so I thought I should draw more complex art#turn out it takes times#idk zine people you tell me#tell me I love doing zines OvO#I mean I will apply to your zine but not with my sw art this will be awkward#ANYWAY I drew theses scenes#it's out of my mind#I can sleep now#god its 3 am what am I doing with my life#The anatomy is flatten on the ground but can only draw weird camera angles or I die#I still think this could be more dynamic but again#drawing people interacting is hard#ok bye
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Equally Invalid
#trafficshipping#smallidarity#<- shipping rlly isn't the main main focus here but it ends on the kiss so I'm scared to tag anything else lol#cw blood#my art#animatic#it's more like. visuals for character analysis thoughts. because this is way more fun for all of us than writing it all out as an essay#I don't expect you guys to. Get it btw or at least not all of it alot of this is very self indulgent and jumps around the timeline#it's like 99% just for me but still. I hope the smallidarity enjoyers of the world can get smth out of it at least lol#very very very happy for ppl to ask abt specific scenes if ur interested ofc#I prefer not to spell out what things mean cus like. It's more fun for me thinking of ppl applying their own thoughts onto my stuff.#but if you ask I will yap forever god bless#if you want you can play a game of spot the jojo reference. and spot the utena reference#ANYWAY YEAH WOO scott and joel content yes yes yes woo!!!!#do they have a duo name like. at all. is that a thing#happy pride everyone
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stolen divinity
#i started this months ago and was likE OKAY LETS JUST FINISH THIS#so here you are#fhjy#jaceporter#porter cliffbreaker#jace stardiamond#i wanted to draw cool outfits#fantasy high#d20#where they actually have a plan that works au#it lasts a week tops#porter is still wearing his cargo pants everyone calm down#he gets a high ponytail because ascension applies to that as well#i think jace would flourish like he was one more parent teacher conference away from casting fireball centered on himself anyways
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what's fun about shipping Tim with Dick, Jason, or Damian is he has, at some point, hallucinated all of them to comfort himself. even when he doesn't like them or particularly get along with them, he has to imagine/hallucinate them just so he has the power to go on. Tim's concepts of the Robin mantle and what it should be is so fun, because he respects the others through the Robin mantle. Tim worships Dick because he was the first Robin. he wouldn't be Robin if Jason hadn't died in the mantle. and a lot of his frustration with Damian is he feels Damian isn't honoring the mantle correctly. when you ship Tim with the other Robins you can't divorce their identities as Robin from it because Tim will always see them as a Robin first and that's so fun and fucked up. like.
batman (1940) #456
Tim perceiving Dick as *Robin* cheering him on, not Nightwing, which is the version of Dick that Tim actually knows? that's just. wild of him. he will always view Dick as Robin first, his personal hero but also the original of the legacy. his love for Dick is shaped by that.
and then of course, even when he's hallucinating/imagining Jason cheering him on, it's *still* through the lense of being reminded how Jason failed? subconsciously believing that Jason got himself killed because of his actions, and that being a lesson for Tim to learn from? Jason isn't a person to Tim, he's a moral lesson about how to be Robin. any potential idolization he could have of Jason isn't because he loves Jason, it's because of the lessons Jason's death taught him.
and then, even though him hallucinating TIm is from the New-52, which makes characterization all kinds of questionable, i do think it makes sense for TIm to hallucinate/imagine Damian after Damian's death in an attempt to cope with it.
teen titans (2011) #18
to an extend, he sees Damian's death as in part his own fault. and even hating Damian, Tim needs the comfort from this to cope with Damian being gone. he's angry that Damian even was Robin, and has to learn something from Damian's death and how it impacts the Robin mantle, and teenage heroes as a whole. like, Tim can pretend he hates Damian all he wants, even getting taunted by the image of Damian, but there's still an underlying love to their relationship.
i think that's just the fun of shipping Tim with any of them. you will never divorce Tim's views of them from the Robin mantle and how fucking Unwell he is about anyone else who's been Robin before or after him, to the point he has to hallucinate them comforting him when he's at his lowest. it's always going to be a little unhealthy, a little toxic, and driven by Tim's relationship with being Robin as well. i need more Tim being weird about Robin in these ships.
#necrotic festerings#batcest#jaytim#dicktim#damitim#this post was first going to just be about tim hallucinating damian but i got carried away thinking about the identity crisis arc#have whatever this is.#idk if there's much of a thesis other than “tim's fucking weird about the robin mantle and that should extend to shipping too”#been meaning to post this for forever#finally got around to it though so yay me.#now i need to go work on my jaytim in the new-52 thoughts bc. i have a whole post planned.#a stack of comics next to me for research and everything. god help me.#ALSO while rereading to grab panels#why is it that everyone talks about how jason says “robin is magic” in an attempt to mischaracterize him as sunshine boy#and not the fact that tim *also* says robin is magic?#like it's not a jason thing. it's a robin mantle thing.#that's just what robin *is*. it doesn't say much about jason's character for him to say that when he's robin. it just means he's robin.#the robin mantle is magic. that's the point.#and you could argue that's more of a meta thing that exists on the wavelength of how children where supposed to project onto robin#moreso than an in-universe commentary on what the robin mantle is#(honestly the same argument applies to tim hallucinating here for like. meta intent vs in-universe meaning.)#i hesitate to even call it hallucination it's more like. daydreaming coping.#giving a face to his internal monologue type thing and this is just how the medium depicts it#also it was just sexy and cool for characters to hallucinate loved ones in the 90s in comics. it was a convention of the genre.#but still my point stands. tim pictures all of these ppl as robin first internally#and he self soothes using their image in his head. that's wild of him like what#tim you are weird about the robin mantle more than anyone else i give you that.
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Something I really like is that April’s constant stream of odd jobs she goes through is somewhat reflected in the boys as well. Like, you have April working at random pizza places or getting a crane license or being fully willing to apply for a job at a place clearly made out of cardboard. Then you have the boys as well who do anything from working as a basketball mascot, building a massive dog park, being waiters, getting a whole band gig at a theme park, etc, etc-
Main difference is that April actively applies for these jobs (and is hopefully paid for the short time she’s in them) whereas for the bros the jobs usually find them (and they practically never get paid.) It doesn’t even stop at jobs either, they just seem to casually amass skills in general.
I don’t know, I like how both April and the turtles are just so ready and willing to do things. Sure, they’re not always good at these things, but they do them readily! In a way, being heroes is just another job (well, more like volunteer work/vigilantism/another fun activity) that they initially took on because of their general sense of “why not?”
They’re very willing and open to trying out new things despite their tendency to revert back to what they enjoy (and how commonly trying new things ends up going wrong), and I think that adaptational interest of theirs really helps them be well rounded in multiple regards.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt headcanons#like not even just jobs these characters just like to go out and do things!#even if they’re initially not interested they’re so curious and stuff that they’ll do it anyway#I wonder if April being as curious and incredibly open minded as she is rubbed off on the boys growing up#and they like…osmosis’d this personality trait from her to be like ‘yeah sure whatever’ to any antic#I also just think that they’re bored teenagers with a TON of time on their hands so they like to just live it up#I think the boys always had the desire to go out and apply themselves but meeting April likely pushed them more#y’know I wonder#what if April narrowed down just one job when in college and she actually managed to keep it#like…almost as a form of growth - she narrowed down jobs and careers and schooling as she hit early adulthood?#it’s kinda reflected in raph as well - originally so open and for goofing off but now much more singularly focused on hero stuff#kinda a sad way to look at growing up but it works here#because you have the three younger sibs still readily doing other things#not as focused on responsibility or singular paths#it’s sad because adulthood absolutely does not mean not being open to other things#but at that time in your life sometimes there’s a pressure and unwanted responsibility to pick a path y’know?#and it’s a relief to learn that actually there was never just one set path with one set trail you always had to stay on#and I think that’s reflected in how raph at the end of the movie opens back up to playing around and doing things for the fun of it
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Wait is the middle picture from those three sketches that one scene from the wigmaker job?
yes! it's this specific passage where lucanis is just seething with rage and trying to keep a lid on it, and illario's a stablising, comforting presence. BROTHERS!!!!! <3 though i chose to draw his hand on his shoulder rather than his arm i guess. artistic liberty!
#in the future i want to discuss lucanis' anger in the short story + how spite would have made it worse#and how in my beautiful mind illario would have been the one to help him#no blood magic needed!!!!#like its a point of serious issues between the both of them and the relationship is like obviously fraught#and illario still gives his ambition pause because lucanis is losing himself to a demon and he drags him away from it#illario being a positive force despite his goals/lack of morality/etc is so interesting to me like. it doesnt matter what he's done#or the what's he's trying to do and all the usurping. lucanis is soothed just when his family is near#same applies to caterina to a . lesser extent. if they deserve this reaction from him is another thing#i also think. and important to note. that lucanis' internal narration never worries about illario's ability to finish the job#he sometimes giggles in his mind about illario not having the best balance or footing#but does not worry about the assassination being botched . and i also thought#the line 'i'm only here because of you' implies lucanis wants him to come on the job#considering he was the only one hired (the elf that greets them not recognising why he had someone with him)#so. i dont know why im saying all this actually. maybe just more on lucanis' dependancy on and care for illario + vice versa#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#answered#anonymous
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anyways . silly thing
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#animatic#i want it done.get out of here u stupid dog#ITS CHEESY.IM SORRY ! IMSORRY <embarrassed .truly#but i think. a gf revival would not be complete w/o me trying my hand at a shitty animatic. this 1 is for me dwg#as annoying as the whole process was it was kind of fun ngl. . like ive never been good at keeping a consistent style or chara model#and this was rly good practice for that .. i think looking at it now its like. no its crazxy its insane bc i dont ever want to do it again#at least in the immediate future but watching it back im like ok well.icouldve at least done that better. or tried to loosen up my vp and#made it feel less flat . <thats the devil talking & trying to get u back in on it.thats what i mean liike its fun but its evil and tiring#also im so creatively burnt out ik i couldve done so many fun ciphord gore things but i ug a 'shrug' pff 'shrug' i ?. yk#if only i didnt have the disposition to want to finish everything in one sitting. i think thats why i like static illustration#more bc u get more like. topical variety in a shorter amt of time u feel. anyways i remember hearing this song 4 the first time and in#my need to apply everything ever to my hyperfix i was like omg crop circles soo stanford lol. omg a deal he made when he was young.. & no#it doesnt feel so great does it .. (ciphordd)..then the eyes & fate i was alr convinced but when it got 2 the stanley part ab the taking hi#fathers brothers name i was like ok well fuck filbrick 1 . but rewritten for canon events anyways HELLO???????? AND U WILL DIE THE SAMEE?#much cooler version is still stuck in my head but i hope that u can get the same rudimentary vision i have
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i do a light chuckle once i remember hofmann and semmelweis are friends but then i remember semmelweis and marcus' suitcase interaction where they talk about her and i am once again inconsolable about this old woman's death
#reverse 1999#semmelweis#greta hofmann#certified storm moments#i miss hofmann so bad i know ill start sobbing when someone brings her up again in chapter 7#r1999 shitpost#i still think their canon ages are bullshit and theyre both older than canon in my head but yeah semmelweis is half hofmann's age (19 to 38#bluepoch i prommy you won't start profusely bleeding income if you make a character older than their mid twenties. i promise you that#nothing more but hofweis rambling after this you have been warned#anyways you mightve seen me here or there mention that i ship these two and. yes the age gap is a central theme to how i percieve them#semmelweis lived the dream (see how i say this in past tense) she bagged that old woman </3#the inherent angst of your partner being so much younger than you and close to death thanks to a terminal illness yet in the end#its actually you that dies first. and she ends up finding a cure to illness and ending up immortal. something something 'i will never see#how old age looks on you. you are breaking my heart.' and how it applies to both of their perspective towards the other#one went to vienna to (unknowingly) die and the other went there to live#koshka-sova said it best its a pair that dances round life and death. and can't forget about the inherent workplace yuri#also its funny thinking of marcus unwittingly finding out through either her arcane skill or some other method her mentor's coworker-friend#got it on with her. like i think the two start bonding because of hofmann but then one day marcus approaches her with haunted eyes and#shakily goes 'd...did you. did you and madam hofmann..? my arcane skill said. that you and. did you two......?'
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do you guys ever think abt v1 getting stained more and more with blood as they go thru hell and ending up looking like v2. like ik that not how it work but man even in death theyre still there yknow. like how v1 keeps v2 alive technically thru their arms.
#always found it interesting that often i cant tell which is which in v4v art unless its coloured#even so with the blood on v1 often its hard to tell as well#perhaps during the v2 battles v1 ends up looking exactly like v2 basically#especially with the knuckleblaster#this also makes me think about how in fanart a lot of the times#especially for v4v but this applies to basically any ship fanart#its always just a mess of tangled limbs and metal#you cant separate one from another#thats the connection between violence and romance here i think#‘o mah gahh my shape language and clear silouhettes’#sometimes happy mistakes happen and become glorious#like how genetic mutations lead to an overall stronger species with a high survival rate#you can tell im running on 6 hrs of sleep#ultrakill#v4v#i still love v4v#i think im just a sucker for hatefucking intrinsically entertwined enemies that feel no technical attraction to each other#its because i cant feel romantic attraction well thats why 😂
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Hey so, funny thing happened
hey what if I cried
#omg my post has been waterlogged this is awesome#Joel would never say or probably even think this in this type of wording but hey what if I cried anyway#that still applies to Jimmy so much. to me. I want to love you in front of people who didn't...#Joel being part of the ecosystem in which Jimmy's at the bottom of the food chain and treated as such. Even if they're long time friends#And then he realizes one day hey that's not cool. What they're doing to Jimmy is not cool. And that that includes him too#And he's not sure how to do better but he wants to. And he's not sure about his feelings when he wants to get closer but he does#sorry I hate it here#blabber
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Oh...also, I'm not dead. I just haven't really read many comics these past few months.
I heard PKJ is taking over the Batman and Robin book from Williamson and while I'm not that thrilled that the solicitations are teasing Bruce and Damian to argue again I do hope that PKJ will move the book away from Williamson's slice of life approach.
I know there are many out there who started to like Damian under Williamson because he made him more of a normal teenager, but I personally feel like DC already has more than enough "relateable" teenage heroes and prefer Damian to always be weird/obnoxious.
#the same applies to Williamson's Bruce btw#I found his...therapy speak? to feel ooc a lot of the times#I'm here for Bruce being a better father to Damian but he should still sound like Bruce#and Bruce is bad at communication#I'm sorry that I keep coming back to it but I still think I liked B&R 2011 's take on them the best#two people terrible at communication deeply caring about each other trying to find ways to convey that care#damian wayne#bruce wayne
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the thing about being a disabled grad student is that if you want even half a chance you constantly have to not only reveal but interrogate and explain your softest most vulnerable parts. while people around you act like this is just completely normal and actually that is not the softest most vulnerable part of you and actually you are exactly the same as all of them. so you feel like you are in disguise as exactlythesame while also completely exposed. and you just have to live like that. absolutely insane
#mod felix#general disclaimer that this is my experience and this is how i feel and not necessarily how everyone feels obviously#but . i feel this way . currently#well and i think part of it is that like... people act like the institution isn't actively hostile to like. any marginalized person really#i mean this post is about disability but i'm sure it applies to other people too#and if you read this and say 'this is also how it feels to be x' i see and support you#anyway. posting this here because like... i feel like as a blog with a relatively large (for tumblr) audience like.#i feel the need to be honest and transparent about my experiences in academia#because i know there are people following us who like. want to be in academia or who already are#and like . i really like the program i'm in and i'm learning a lot but it's also a very hard thing to do even if you're totally abled#which like. i'll be honest i think the sort of person who says 'i want to learn ancient greek for the rest of my life'#is unlikely to be totally abled#like i'm not the only disabled person in my program either. and most people i interact with like.#have a base level of understanding about disability#but it's still like... surreal to operate in like. an institution that puts pressure on everyone to act like disability doesn't exist#i feel like there's just like. constant dissonance
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#jeritza von hrym#emile von bartels#death knight#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#fe3h#everyone always says timeskip hubert has vampire vibes and they're right but you know who else has vampire vibes? h i m#they should've given him more insane portraits i think#i love pretty boys :) and if they're a little insane that's just a bonus#this applies to fictional characters ONLY thanks#another one i could've saved for spooktober... ah well#also hi if you've made it this far into the tags: thanks for reading!#just a heads up i'm prrrrrobably not gonna be posting for the rest of the month#i'm in the process of moving so it's very hands-on-deck right now#i mean my creative brain likes to defy me a lot so there is still a chance... but i am very busy so probably not#anyway that's all. thanks for being here#my art
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tonight i was thinking about orv’s theme about how yjh as a character, and to a larger extent people, will in some ways always be unknowable. (orv spoilers following, read at your own risk)
i feel like i’ve seen a few posts on here that somewhat take this theme to an extreme, leaning *hard* into that “kdj doesn’t actually know yjh like at all” which while on the right track, i feel completely misses the point. Orv goes out of its way to showcase that kdj actually understands yjh to a scary degree, even once they’re out of the early scenarios and the gap between kdj’s knowledge and yjh’s personhood grows larger, there are still things about yjh that *only* kdj can fundamentally understand. And I don’t think that the novel does anything to discredit that understanding, only says that there is much more to yjh. In the same manner, even if you’ve known someone for years, spent all your time with them, there can and will always be new things for you to learn about them. The danger that orv speaks of is trusting in that assumption, that your understanding will be enough and you don’t have to keep an eye out for more developments. That the person you know will forever stay the same. And this isn’t a kdj problem either, fundamentally a lot of the big disagreements that happen between kdj and yjh in the latter half of the novel are born from both of them misconstruing what the other is thinking, trusting that their understanding of the other is deep enough to base their judgements off of. (Post first murim destruction, divorce arc, yjh thinking kdj scattered his soul on purpose, etc.)
As always with orv’s themes, we can view it in a meta sense as well. Kdj’s understanding of yjh as a character is so complete that it’s nearly flawless- until the story begins to deviate and a yjh grows outside the parameters that kdj’s judgements are based on. Even before then, there was always more to yjh- but as readers, we can only understand a character as much as we see them. What you come away with from a story is your complete understanding, there is no growth outside of those boundaries because then it wouldn’t be an understanding of *that* character, you would be putting your own ideas and such into it. But talk to another person, and suddenly the same character you understand so clearly becomes someone else. Talk to the author, and they say something completely different. And can one truly claim to understand a character when the story will never talk about them in every conceivable way? What does it take to truly understand such a thing? Learning that 1863rd round hsy wrote ways of survival with such limited resources and knowledge on who yjh even is, and yet despite it all, still manages to write a story that captures so much of his essence. As orv readers, we know it isn’t everything- it could never encapsulate all of yjh, but the idea that even when one knows nearly nothing, you can still put on a facade of understanding.
We can get into a chicken or the egg argument with this, as 1863!hsy dictates how yjh acts with her writing, and that yjh in the 1863rd round is the one she comes to know before ever starting this story, but when it comes to this theme of the unknowable in the people around us, I don’t think this sort of debate is worth much. We know that yjh exists outside the story written, and how much of him is determined by hsy’s writing is negligible because no matter what, he always grows beyond it. Whether as 1864 or secretive plotter, it all comes back to that same point of there is always more to see within a person.
I don’t know quite where I want to go with this, only that I wanted an outlet for some of these thoughts inside my head, but one of the best things about this theme for me is how it answers itself. When the people around you become unrecognizable, what should you do? And orv says to reach out. To try. To understand. Kdj loses access to omniscient reader several times but always, always gains it back in orv (as far as i remember), because at the end of the day, he is not someone who stays trapped in his idea of who he knows yjh to be. Yjh too, even at the end of orv, is trying to learn more and more about kdj. Only when you are willing to hear out the other person, to learn about them every day, does this unknowable aspect become something less daunting.
#orv#omniscient reader#omniscient readers viewpoint#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#joongdok#meta#analysis#it just kinda ended up kdj and yjh focused because this is what the theme is most applicable too#i wish i had more thoughts on how 1863 wrote WoS bc that definitely fits in here more than what i said about it#i think too it can be applied to ysa and kdj#while not as relevant as it is with yjh since their relationship doesnt stretch back as far#they still spend so much of this novel learning more and more about each other#compared to back at minosoft where at least to me it looked like they already had an idea of who the other was as a person#so sorry if this is disjointed i need to stop writing meta as 3 am#in my defense its the only time my thoughts come out like this#on the verge of sleep#orv spoilers#omniscient reader spoilers#i forgot them early on my bad
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One of the biggest things that makes me see Leo as trans is absolutely the size of his carapace in comparison to his brothers’.
And I’m not talking about height! I’m specifically looking at his shell here, because when you compare him to the others, particularly Donnie who is nearly the same height as Leo, it’s very clear that Leo’s carapace is much longer in proportion to the rest of his body.
Like - standing side by side, even though Donnie is shorter his carapace ends noticeably higher up than Leo’s does. And I like this not only because it really helps push the idea that Leo could very likely be trans (or intersex!), but it’s also just a fun design difference between them.
(It also lends way to future scenarios of Donnie eventually getting taller than Leo, but sitting down still has Leo being the taller one haha.)
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#trans leonardo#rottmnt headcanons#rise leo#trans leo#it’s like 4 am and I’m having trans leo feelings again sorry guys#totally get if other people disagree with me on this! but it’s always gonna be my no.1 headcanon fr#his complexion the vibrancy of his colors staying even in adulthood his general demeanor and this? this hc is LOCKED in my brain#plus the times Leo’s depicted in pink white and blue throughout the series like I KNOW it wasn’t on purpose but damn if it doesn’t help#(his nails are also the exact same as his toe nails/claws but I don’t super count this one tbh)#(even though it is TECHNICALLY another point in favor of trans leo)#(mainly because all the boys’ nails are very much more humanoid than turtle)#(just like how their tails aren’t really a factor either since we see them only in their baby forms and never again)#I really like the idea that he was a female red eared slider pre mutation#and Lou Jitsu’s dna paved how his humanoid features came out (aka a more masculine build and voice)#but his turtle features are all very much more in like with a female res#love the thought of rise bros meeting og comic turtle boys and Leo being like wait you guys are res too?? but…you’re not colorful……#one headcanon I have is that - you know the cute chirping and stuff we have the boys do?#I like to think that Leo’s chirping actually sounds more feminine to himself and his bros (so he tends to not do it)#idk I love thinking about this hc a lot and there’s no time like four am to talk about it huh?#future scenario has future Donnie going up to future Leo all smug like ah Nardo how’s the weather down there#and Leo’s all like good *sits down* why don’t you join me :)#Donnie: …*sits and stretches his neck out to be taller still*#Leo calls him a cheater but Donnie calls it ‘making use of his species’s advantages’#but yeah basically for many turtles the case is - bigger carapace? female. smaller carapace? male.#so it’s very interesting to take that knowledge and apply it here#did you know one of the turtles that this rule of thumb DOESNT apply to is alligator snapping turtles? male ones are the bigger ones there!#by a big difference too so Raph’s size makes a LOT of sense
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