#but it really set us up for book two
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Reading SVSSS: Chapter 5
For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.
Back at my desk for chapter 5 today, but no Charlie; he has abandoned me :(Tea this evening is Lady Grey with some milk and sugar.
Can you all believe that this is the last chapter of book 1????!?!? One out of 4 done! Anyways- let's get into this short chapter:
OMG. I would have been so pissed if I was transmigrated somewhere and had to start as an infant with my entire adult brain. RIP those circumstances for Airplane (p 264)
Honestly though, I am so here for the argument between Shang Qinghua/Airplane & Shen Qingqiu/Shen Yuan. Fight it out! The fan/not fan and the author who has no idea what's happening LOL
okay but I stand with Shang Qinghua/Airplane -> Shen Yuan really does know a lot of the lore for someone who supposedly hates this book (p265)
Oh god airplane doesn't even know that shen qingqiu here was poisoned (p267)
(okay Re: not knowing about the poisoning- correction he does, I dont know why he was confused about the mushroom side quest though. If anyone has clarity about this comment pls!)
okay but what's this demon- it's kind of scary clever (p269)
the SASS of this system going through an update and only giving automated answers LOL (p270)
it's making me laugh that the actual author and creator of this world cannot recall a single side character's name XD (p272)
+1 to the party! We have Gongyi Xiao (p 275).
what's touching him?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?! (p278) that's terrifying!!!!!
Shen Qingqiu still over here missing his boy. Re: Gongyi Xiao not being as good as Luo BInghe at picking up Shen Qingqiu's subtle non verbal cues while fighting and shen qingqiu being upset by it (p280)
I swear if that slither creature snatches those mushrooms before shen qingqiu has a chance to snag them I will be so pissed on his behalf (p282)
All three of them: WTF is that?!?!?! Airplane side eyeing shen yuan: did I write that tho??? (p.284)
RE: snatching the mushrooms- I don't think it can touch the mushrooms(?)
OMG. Shen qingqiu just made mortal enemies with this fish snake man (p 287)
At this point I don't know if he is trying to gaslight himself. But no matter what, Shen Qingqiu is really convincing people he's a little unwell about losing Luo Binghe. He mentally tells himself he's fine but man is his behaviour wild. (p 289)
OOp. Airplane calling Shen Yuan out about his feelings regarding Luo Binghe 👀 (p 290) Which Shen Qingqiu completely fails to respond to.
That's it for book 1!!!!!
I am NOT ready for the next turn of events. That foreshadowing at the end with this mushroom plot! These mushrooms better survive or poor Shen Qingqiu is fucked.
I cannot wait to start book 2 tomorrow!!!
#bloopitynoot reads svsss#svsss spoilers#mxtx svsss#svsss#This was such a little chapter#but it really set us up for book two#I feel like the plot will be plotting very soon#five more years before luo binghe returns
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Just finished the third season of Bridgerton (it was an incredibly frustrating watch)...People have said that Penelope is named as such because of her nickname Pen and her being a writer... but has anyone thought of the reference to the Odyssey and Penelope being the wife of Odysseus? You know, she had to be loyal for 20 years while Odysseus gallivanted across the globe and was distracted/cheating on her Circe? I feel like it goes with the whole Polin narrative too. She's the one who had to wait for him to get a clue. And if you've read the Penguin version of the Odyssey, you know everyone is like omg! Odysseus, so amazing, the sacker of cities etc. Which parallels Colin's "glow up". Totally think it's more of a literary reference since the two of them are writers...
#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#polin#don't know how much this works for the book#didn't read the books#I ranted at my sister for an hour straight about this season (behated)#wtf was the character arcs for any of the characters this season? a whole lot of nothing..#the writers literally set everything up and then did everything in their power to make the arcs pointless#soooo many crimes of telling instead of showing#bridgerton was never high art but season 1 and 2 landed character and the audience buying into the relationships and cheering for the coupl#disappointed#literally feel like I hated polin in what was supposed to be their season#colin vascilates wildly... and there are like two scenes where i recognize the character he was is season 1 and 2#literally hated him for soooo much#really hate how the season wasn't about the couple but whistledown#and yet they couldn't show us WHY Penelope wants to keep being Whistledown besides telling us why so I just don't get why#they could not decide if whistledown is good or bad and settled on girlboss power!#but here i am like girl... you're ruining lives... you've ruined lives... it's just gossip#they literally screwed over all their characters for nothing#their scenes of intimacy don't land because they feel incredibly paint by numbers and often occur after intense confrontations#confrontations that do not logically make sense for sexy times#the mirror scene exists purely as plot so colin can later accuse Penelope of trapping him in marriage#like that's suuuuper ick#they made colin so incredibly ick i don't recognize him or want him with Penelope#even Penelope making the choice to be whistledown over her new family was insane and illogical based on how the plot developed#i watched the seaon twice to really pin down how I feel and ended up rewatching season 1 and 2 because season 3 part 2 pissed me off so muc#and it's sooo night and day#i just feel sad because i wanted to root for this couple too... but they made it unrootable
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Look, one of the fundamental things I keep an eye on for DC writers these days is "is this person plotting a story arc that has sufficient escape valves in case of cancellation".
Because, realistically, even if you've been handed a headline title and an ongoing run, any writer should be tying off their story every 12 months and immediately before every major company-wide event. They shouldn't need to yank that cord, but you can always tell the difference between someone who has figured out how to exit their arc in advance and has just had to compress the story, and someone who's been caught on the hop (for active examples of this, go read literally any comic leading in to either Infinite Crisis or Flashpoint, as everyone got shuffled on their titles after both. You can see when teams were informed they were about to lose their books and when books were needed for the event in terms of how the stories all suddenly pivot to Getting Stuff Done ASAP).
There is also the evil cousin, 'run extended beyond expected plotting and ideas' which can show up but obviously is a rarer beast to spot.
#interestingly Zdarsky's Batman run is actually a current good example of making sure to plot to leave the book every 12 months#Failsafe + The Bat-Man of Gotham make a short but coherent run#He then used 136 to pivot the story in terms of the downward spiral but if cancelled could have used it to tie off the stories#as of 148 + 149 Zdarsky has pulled Bruce out of his downward spiral and tied off a 2 year storyline#and you have examples of both him having to rush a storyline (148 should have been two issues) and a coherent end point as of AP#he's now clearly ready for his third year's pitch which looks like a 'rebuild relationships' one but it's not essential#someone else could pick up the title after AP and send it in whatever direction if needed#because Zdarsky made sure to contain when he set things on fire to be resolved IN that year's arc#and you can really see the structural stuff AS he's been messed around quite a bit about when he can work on his plot#as he keeps having to redirect around events
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you reread raksura after reading murderbot and you realize that the kethel in the last book is murderbot from an outside POV. like they don't have the same personality obviously, but if the murderbot books were told from the perspective of, say, eletra from the corporation rim, she'd be talking about secunits the way that all the protagonists of the raksura books talk about the fell. which i feel really conflicted about. you write a five-book series (plus two books of short stories) with a biologically evil race and in the later books start deconstructing it and being like "hey maybe our narrators aren't exactly reliable on this point" but by then it's kind of too late imo. idk. she's doing something interesting here but i don't know if it works.
#the first two books don't have as far as i can tell ANY hint that the raksuran beliefs about fell aren't supported by the narrative#that's too many books to spend doing that#in book three you meet some raksuran-fell crossbreeds but it's all still very conservative#the crossbreeds are okay because they're part raksura. <-doesn't actually make it better#book 4 we meet consolation but we don't really get much about her#in book 5 the kethel is there just being murderbot. and everyone around him is struggling to adjust to him#struggling to trust him even though he's helping them. being pretty clearly (to the audience) unfair and prejudiced towards him#moon keeps deliberately unpersoning him in a way that tells us that 1) he's doing it on purpose but 2) it's hard to do#because the kethel is a person and moon on some level knows that#idk because like. setting up the audience with biases about this fantasy world that they've picked up from the (unreliable) narrator(s)#that they're depending on to give them information about how the fantasy world works#and then disproving the biases is a really interesting thing for a story to do!#and to some extent i think you could say that is what she's trying to do here#but not really until book 5! that's four books' worth of the narrative basically supporting those biases#and even book 5 doesn't totally deconstruct them#books of the raksura#the murderbot diaries#unreliable narrators#storytelling#my posts
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I am liking Jujutsu Kaisen, way more than I imagined I would, but I foresee it will let me down and it's keeping me from enjoying this as much as I could haha
I think the characters and dynamics are well set, and I think many of them have an incredibly good and deep potential, but I would be willing to bet they'll not get a proper development, enough for them to really hit. A well assembled set of gears is not enough to make the movement go, you have to wind the clockwork.
I think Gojo and Megumi have a fascinating and very complex dynamic, but I doubt it will be given the time and care that imo it needs to actually work. And it is going well enough for now! One could see the intimacy between them was deeper than the one Gojo had with, say, Yuji and Nobara ever since the very first few episodes despite the fact Fushiguro too was a first year. But the pieces forming what they have are extremely complex, and it just wouldn't be realistic if it doesn't show, even if in a not showing way, or if it doesn't have consequences or implications.
It's one of those dynamics that shape one's life, the way one regards the world, the way one establishes or not relationships with other people. It's one of those dynamics that could be full of fondness, gratitude, resentment, admiration, trust, and that imply intimacy, the good kind or the bad, even if in just the knowledge of someone who's been a constant through your life. It could, and would, imply a myriad of feelings, and probably in such a mix it could imply contradictory feelings too. Even the nothingness would weight, even the nothingness would be significant and meaningful.
Gojo took Megumi and his sister under his wing, the son of a man who murdered him, because of both selfish and selfless reasons. Megumi looks like Toji. What does Gojo feel about this? How does Gojo deal with this? How does Gojo go about taking care of Megumi? Would he walk him to school? Make him breakfast? Celebrate his birthdays making him blow candles? Did he take him to the zoo? Does the relationship between them feel professional or is it something more? Gojo appreciates his students, but is Megumi to him just another student? When Gojo faces Sukuna in Megumi's body, did he see the kid he raised, or does he just see Sukuna in one of his students' body? Did he have one faint wavering instant? And how does Megumi feel about this? Is he resentful of him? Resentful of the situation? Of the selfishness behind his actions? Does he feel like a pawn? Is he grateful? Does he resent feeling grateful? Would he rather not? Does he love Gojo? Does he feel nothing about him other than what he could feel about a teacher that sort of annoys him but knows he's reliable in his strength? Does he think it unfair, cruel or unfeeling that Gojo is close, closer perhaps, with Yuuji or Yuta, considering their story? When Sukuna slices Gojo in two, does the remnants of Megumi's soul tremble?
And not just Megumi and Gojo. Yuuji and Nanami, Gojo and Nanami, Yuuji and Fushiguro, Nobara and the boys, or Nobara and Maki, Todo and Yuuji or Yuta, Gojo and Yuta, Megumi and his sister. Gojo and Geto, even! If the pieces are well set, the dynamics are intriguing, interesting, and have potential to be deep, but then the characters have like two plot relevant scenes that punch you hard, but little more, it's not nearly enough. Especially not nearly enough for the enormity that is shonen dynamics and situations. And the potential existing at all, and then not delivering, makes it all the more frustrating when you're left with something mediocre that could have been so good.
The development of dynamics through not only a few plot relevant gut wrenching moving scenes, but also the smallness of life, is important. The friend who recommended this to me said that those things were just unnecessary filler, but I disagree. I think there's a big difference between a large amount of anime-only filler episodes whose existence is based on the fact they had run out of manga chapters to animate, and moments of quietness. The low stakes character-driven moments of quietness can be so telling and so insightful, and they are so satisfactory when brought back later in higher stakes situations. My friend teased me there was no scene of Gojo making breakfast to Megumi, that it would be an idiotic idea, but it would be so telling. How he makes breakfast, what they eat, if he tries hard or if it's all mechanised, if they have personal bowls or if they use whatever, if he just buys them some pastry on the way to school, if the way they have breakfast changes through the years, or if he doesn't make them breakfast at all! All that would be very insightful on their dynamic and its evolution. All that would give a glimpse on how they regard each other and why, even in the present. All that could become meaningful in tense situations and high stakes scenes.
These moments also let the plot breath; if a lot is happening all the time, if every character is always experiencing trauma after trauma, the entire story is so emotionally draining that at some point you don't even care all that much. Besides, these nothing moments or low stakes plot arcs, besides deepening and developing dynamics, also let some in-world time pass, which would make the intimacy and bond between characters more believable imo; between Yuuji eating Sukuna's finger and their last confrontation in December how much time has passed? A few months? Am I truly to believe these characters are so everything to each other in only a few months?
Without some smallness, some repetition, some daily life, some low stakes not plot-centric development, the dynamics don't hit, they don't truly feel fleshed out, and dynamics as complex as the ones Megumi and Gojo have, or as supposedly meaningful as the one Megumi has with Yuuji or his sister, should be fleshed out if they're going to exist at all. Otherwise they'd risk making the writing feel awkward and fake. Besides, if the dynamics felt well fleshed out and realistic, they would shape the way the characters interact and act, and how they deal with situations, thus being plot relevant.
The shonen genre has so much happening all the time, the stakes are so high, the dynamics are so rooted in big events and the relationships carry enormous weight and implications. Yet they barely get developed, and it feels so stupid, so plain, the absence of something so important noticeable like a constant void, a shapeless nothingness present in every scene. It makes the characters feel like cardboard figures. Jujutsu Kaisen is already getting a better job than many, but I doubt it will do enough for what I've heard, and I fear I am bound to feel let down, and bound to feel unmoved.
After all, if not enough time and care has been given to develop a dynamic, I am not going to feel pressured by the high stakes; if not enough time and care has been given to develop the dynamic between Megumi and Yuuji, as good potential as it has I am bound to feel little for this last confrontation between Sukuna and Itadori, and his effort in getting Megumi back.
#It's not that I think everything has to be character driven or take a lot of care about dynamics#Death Note for instance works well without it. There's juice in the dynamic between Light and his father and the role of Matsuda there#and it works well with Light's views and their evolution and the whole Kira situation. It isn't much. It doesn't need more#But Death Note doesn't truly drop something as big as Gojo and Megumi to then do barely nothing about it#('But L and Watari' not the same at all. That was deepened in the anime and besides Watari is not one of the main characters)#Or Megumi and his sister. If we see barely nothing of Megumi and his sister other than shiny flashbacks of her#how am I to feel moved by it all beyond superficial emotions? I don't know. It just feels so like cardboard to me#And it annoys me! It annoys me a lot! Because Jujutsu Kaisen has amazing potential! The dynamics and characters could be amazing!#But I don't trust they'll live to their full potential and the potential existing for nothing is ruining this for me xD#Jujutsu Kaisen#Sorry this time I'm tagging it. I want to find this and see if I was right when I'm finished. I think I'll read the manga too#The condescending filler breakfast comment by my friend was ironic considering the Kramer vs. Kramer breakfast scenes exist#Breakfast can be so telling. And besides he loves the Chainsaw Man coffee scene so I don't get why not breakfast#But truly some small daily life moments can tell us a lot about a character that we could recognise later on in high stakes scenes#such as how they deal in tense situations‚ what makes them snap#how they go about dealing with a problem.#Sometimes it could be smaller moments or conversations what makes characters reconsider things‚ not just having Sukuna rip their heart out#In Pandora Hearts the conversation between Elliot and Oz about the book series they love and their favourite characters becomes key#Oz's development and how he regards things‚ his own person‚ and how he deals with situations will be shaped later on by this conversation#till the very end. The entire main character's development is shaped by a 'filler' conversation.It's not filler. It's just not a fight scen#Shonen manga readers find everything filler except for fights which is ironic considering that many fights in shonen feel unnecessary#Breakfast is unnecessary. Just filler. Fighting thirty seven secondary monsters or chapter after chapter of physical training is not. Okay#Things can be small but plot relevant. If it shapes and fleshes out and deepens a character or a relationship it is not filler#And mainly MAINLY for the love of everything good if you're going to make a fucked up or Meaningful Beyond Everything dynamic#give it time and care. Actually write it. Don't give me two panels and one conversation after some life and death situation. It's not enoug#Especially if I'm to believe they are important. Make me believe they actually are#I don't know... This issue with not trusting the development of very well set potential in Jujutsu Kaisen#has not only been keeping me from thoroughly enjoying the series‚ but actively keeping me from watching for weeks#It makes me doubt if I want to spend my time in this at all since after all time is limited and we can but spend it in a handful of things#A pity. I really love some things and I really think Megumi and Gojo could be everything to me haha the Heathcliff/Hareton vibe gets me
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reading old thr reviews out of sheer procrastination and I knew it in theory but ah. this is why the current comic run was thrown in continuity separation jail, to the point where avar can't even acknowledge ceret by name in totf when ruminating on the drengir, or elzar can't mention keeve when going over jedi patrolling the oz lmao
#I get why it's better for people who are keeping up with one series at a time but as someone who's three phases deep I'm kind of like#was now really the time to pull that I think most of us who are currently reading are in thr for the long haul#it's a minor nitpick though not a huge deal#trying to figure out the timeline is a lot though since the sw website places it *before* TotF and I think something happened in either#the book or comic that made me fairly certain that it'd have to be after#(the comic takes place over the course of like two days as far as I can tell so it's highly unlikely issues are split before and after)#also it ties directly into tempest breaker which is set after TotF on the website's timeline#if I had to guess maybe the first few chapters of TB are a flashback and then the rest of the novel takes place after????#idk I'd appreciate a hint within tempest breaker about when all that went down relative to one another#star dorks#sw negativity
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2024 reads / storygraph
Walking In Two Worlds & The Everlasting Road
YA sff set in the near future where an opensource augmented reality is commonly used like social media, and there’s also a completely virtual fantasy game version
follows an Anishinaabe girl who who’s the top player in the VR game, and is constantly fighting to keep her place against the misogynist neo-nazi group in second place
as well as her real life, dealing with being a shy and self-conscious teen growing up on the Rez, and her brother having cancer
and a Uyghur boy who’s moved to her community from China after finding acceptance in an online community (even when he doesn’t agree with their more extreme views) - but when he gets to know Bugz, he has to decide who truly deserves his loyalty
great mix of sff and culture, the future while also very real community traumas of the past (and present)
#walking in two worlds#the everlasting road#wab kinew#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#This has some REALLY interesting and important concepts!#I just think it could have used some more development… Obvs this is YA and I’m an adult I know I’m not quite the audience!#There’s a lot of depth in the setup of the characters but I feel like it skips a lot of the progression#I think there could have been space for more development in a lot of places to make the story feel more dimensional#- but also has so many plot threads that maybe that would have bulked it out too much#It does also jump around quite a bit between the different parts but I think that makes sense with how juggling with irl / online life.#she’s got a lot of internalised fatphobia at the start (and the love interest going “I don’t think you’re fat!!” when people call her fat..#then in book 2 suddenly she’s okay about it - again I wish there was some progression!#her brothers cancer journey is. basically all offscreen lol mostly as set up for plot in book 2. so it doesn't have the emotional impact it#could have..#I liked the way it integrates her culture into the game in a really cool way (though I would have liked more detail there)#also having auto language translators but they regularly don't translate quite right / still run into issues - realistic!#the parallels drawn between his being taken from his family and put in a state education school and Indigenous residential schools#the way that a future world will never be as separate from the past as ur average sff future often portrays#but yeah anyway lots of good ideas execution not so much for me..
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I'm still so mad that August Kitko was such a mid book and like I would go do far as to say maybe it was bad but it's likely it just wasn't for me.
And then I read Hell Followed With Us and realize hey now... there's a lot of similarities between these two books and wow i am enjoying this other book way more. I almost want to dig into that and figure out why. Can you ever dislike something so much you want to take a scalpel to it and dissect it to find the bloody heart? Yeah that's what I'm feeling with August Kitko... it kinda sucks but I need to know why it makes me so mad.
#cat rambles#both books are about queer people at the end of the world#both are written by trans authors and yet the queerness is handled so differently#i just.... hell followed with us manages to really get into the world building and it feels alive despite most of hunanity being dead#akatmfs just... it feels so surface level and the more i think about thst book the more pissed off i get#i really wanted to like it SO BADLY AND YET I AM JUST SEETHING#i did finish akatmfs and i was just disaappinted at the ending#there are moments in hell followed with us that made me shriek out loud like OH SHIT ya know???#i like it when authors do interesting things with their medium#andrew joseph white does that so well with the spirit bears its teeth and with hell followed with us#ann leckie also does this well just with how she writes the characters and differing perspectives#akatmfs just.... even with two main characters it just doesnt do anything interesting with that#LIKE FUCK okay#chapter 1 is from gus's pov which is good! then chapter 2 is all from ardent's persepctive iirc#thats cool!!! i like different povs but then it just starts changing pov in the middle of yhe chapter and that just.... okay i guess#i thought you were setting up this cool rhing IT COULD HAVE BEEN SO COOL#theres a part where gus gets kocked the fuck out#imagine if instead of having thet dull ass conversation with Infinite the chapter was just kike a single line of him passed out and then we#snap back to ardent#THAT WOULD BE THRILLING#THAT WOULD BE SUSPENSEFUL BC WE DONT KNOW WHATLL HAPPEN TO GUS#but no we get thus dumb ass concersation between gus and infinite that i just disnt care for#i read it all and god i just rolled my eyes becasue of course the book reveals the mystery of where the Vanguards cane from so fast#maybe i just gotta write an essay about this idk#i have thoughts
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well this sucks
#my chrome book is reaching the end of its natural lifespan#Ive gotten it to last like more than a couple years at this point#but chrome books are pretty much awful devices#so I need to go out and get a laptop that's NOT a chrome book#but for one thing I've literally never owned a laptop that's not a chrome book#I saved up and bought my current chrome book for like freshman year of highschool#I waited for a memorial day sale and special pricing so I could get it on like three discounts#so aside from the cost I have *no* idea where to go about buying a new laptop#I need one that's pretty sturdy at least and preferably similar size to a chrome book#I like the way I can charge things by attaching them to my Chromebook I like the way the keyboard is set out and I like that the touch-#screen and keypad aren't that sensitive#so I need to a) find a new laptop b) have the money to buy that laptop and c) learn how to use that laptop#none of which are things that I'll be particularly good at#I just want my 130 dollar old enough to be in elementary school hunk of plastic to work forever is that to much to ask#I've actually gotten it to live much longer than normal lmfao#really hoping it'll stay functional for at least another month or two#I hate getting new tech#I’ve still got an iPhone 8 for heavens sake#You can pry it out of my cold dead hands#I should probably get a new one but like. This one works pretty much.#Nothings cracked it charges fine all the buttons work#Honestly I’d prefer a phone a shade older than this one with a seperate headphone Jack#Basically the whole design of new phones is anti-me#Wide flat smooth super thin light and easily breakable#Plus I don’t have confidence that everything on this phone would transfer over. And this is literally the only phone I’ve ever owned#This thing is a treasure trove
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actually, you know what ? im glad my ex gf ghosted me, i dodged a bullet it seems
#this was two years ago and just a few months ago i started getting over it#on the one hand yeah it fucking SUCKS i wish i had had some type of warning instead of radio silence suddently from one day to the other#on the other i was ready to move to texas (me: poc queer fem presenting nd bitch) and was looking seriously jobs over there#and like- i fucking HATE the usa but she was really scared about leaving the states to come to europe- so i was willingly to travel there to#be with her and not put her through that (ive been traveling since childhood so im used to it- but she has certain mental stuff going on and#taking her away from her family and her childhood city was going to be really tough- of course i'd sacrifice my life for hers)#and like im so sorry to everybody who is stuck in the usa right now bcs ur country is treating yall so poorly i feel genuinely bad#but as someone who was planninh to work over there as a teacher..... IM SO FUCKING GLAD I DONT HAVE TO SET FOOT THERE 😭#every single thing i hear about the education system there seems hellish- as well as the teachers' conditions and wages#like over here its not all rainbows and flowers but at least i dont have to worry about school shootings or getting fired for recommending#books from a banned list 💀#ESPECIALLY as a poc latino queer linguistics and literature teacher- i'd love to talk to students about a big range of things- i cannot#imagine having to censor myself or dance around a subject becs “kids are too dumb to understand queerness” “youre trying to groom them”#“dont brainwash em you commie” like ma'am im trying to help your child develop basic empathy and respect for those who dont look like them#like i hear some serious worrying stuff from teachers over there i hope u guys are holding up somehow 😭😭😭#anyways idk how the phrase in english goes but in spanish we say cuando dios cierra una puerta- abre una ventana#(<- trying to look for the positive in getting ghosted by the girl of their dreams)#its fine guys anyways#yeah that was the first LD relationship ive ever had- never trying that again#also i found out im arospec so im definitely not getting into a romantic relationship lmfaoooooo#only QPRs for me now if anything lol#vanya strawberry flavored
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😏
I don’t know if friend is having a baby shower, but I’m ready
#came up with a list of items that aren’t toys/clothes/ointments#I’M READY#i’m also insane. i got bf’s lil cousin nearly 100 used books carefully curated#the girls at the secondhand book store were like ‘why is she looking through every one’ rude#boyfriend was very complimentary of my list. i really like the target brand fake flame candles because the remote only has 3 buttons#and when mommy or daddy are getting up in the night they can feel and know exactly which button to gently illuminate#rather than amazon candle remotes which have like 8 buttons#i use my remote blind just fine i know the system works#silicone training cup set — two cups. one with a double handle and one with zero handles#they’re SO TINY. for TINY TINY hands. and weighted gently at the bottom
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they weren’t lying, that going outside, talking to people, going on a walk to get a little drink from the gas station really helps your mental health
#went to the writing thing!!! got a GOOD amount of work done did a Quick Sweep of my second act to edit more in depth later#and talked to some cool people about art and gender and disability and politics and stuff!!!!!!!#it's Nice being around people who aren't My People because i feel like i'm allowed to have opinions#ANYWAYS my bpd has been spiking because of [redacted] doing [redacted] and [redacted] and [redacted]#BUT i have evening plans of watching adventuring party and planning out more Long Term work <3#ALSO I BOUGHT MYSELF A NON-SAFE DRINK AND I LIKED IT#as in not one of my safe foods#i got a little strawberry yogurty drink thing and it was really nice!!!! AND it was only 90p!!!!!#and i walked home as the sun set and it was really nice even though i got lost because i was in a part of the city i'm not used to#BUT i managed to navigate all by myself (by following bus stops of the bus i got up to the place)#currently feeling very in my bejeweled era. feeling very i miss you but i miss sparkling!!!!!!!#i love discovering myself again after Trauma and Horrors. sadly this will probably all go away on saturday but we stay silly!!!1#i just feel more like a Person when i'm on my own or with people i'm not close to#ALSO I BOUGHT A BOOK TODAY#it was one of my favourite poets and i got to talk about him with the bookstore owners and it was so nice to have people Understand#AND I TALKED ABOUT WRITING PLAYS WITH A GUY WHO WAS ALSO WORKING ON HIS PLAY#we talked about being actor-writers and Bridging The Gap of the two mediums#he also recommended me some workshops i was going to sign up for anyway but it was nice of him :)#i LOVE being in queer and neurodivergent spaces!!!!!#i was very shy and socially anxious but i was able to approach people and have conversations the whole time!!!!#i did sit on my own to do my work but i preferred it that way :) i also needed so much table space for all my pages#ANYWAYS. rambling over. had a nice evening. this is my little journal entry :)
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Quick question for the homies who have a bookshelf to display their kpop albums and/or mangas and figures, what kind of method or style do you like?
#rn everything is mostly being put up like a regular bookshelf for the mangas and books and the albums are kinda going horizontal & vertical#it’s mostly dependant on the size of the albums or the actual shelf part cuz I got the billy bookcase so it’s not all evenly spaced apart#the very top is big enough to fit my largest albums & lightstick and I was thinking of maybe realigning it once I got the short bookcase#tho that might have to wait a bit until I spontaneously rearrange my room after the new year starts#and maybe clean out my closet and put the few things in my wardrobe in there so I could dismantle it and put it in storage#cuz honestly living with 2 closet spaces since 2016/2017 for 1 room that wasn’t being shared between me and my sister is not the best idea#my dad had at the time cuz that closet is pretty much the section for work clothes now 💀💀#and the closet only has maybe 25% space used on the hanger since I did put some of the other clothes away in a fabric storage thingy#which is where I mostly stuck the pants/shorts/skirts I couldn’t hang up#but yeah back to the book case cuz now that I’m 23 I wanna commit to my idea of expanding the virgin corner into the virgin wall lmao#maybe ask my dad if we could hook up the extra tv we have once the vision came to be#so yeah dk y’all have a certain way of displaying especially if you have an album or book cover you really liked?#or how you also might place some figures and acrylics cuz I just feel like idk what I’m doing even if I do look at other people’s set up#or even shelf arrangement cuz my friend said it was an adhd nightmare to find something when she needed to look for something#and it was on my shelf just two levels down from her eye level from where she sat😅
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talked to my mother and I think we’re gonna try to get me a doctor’s appointment and maybe see about getting me on antidepressants. so. that’s good
#i think it’s sort of been dawning on my parents that I’m still depressed#that it didn’t end when I switched my majors and dropped some classes#and my mom’s friend just started on antidepressants and was telling her about that#so after a little breakdown of mine today when I asked if we could look at setting up therapy through her health insurance again#she said that we should also talk to the doctor. which isn’t really a topic I’ve broached with her before#so I guess that’s progress. she offered to book the appt for me which is good bc I have needed to book about six appts for months now#and I just can’t. I just can’t.#so to have her at least make the doctor’s one takes that off my plate#(I’m ignoring the two other things I need to go to the doctor for and the dentist and my physio and therapy#and academic advising and scholarships and the free float I have a coupon for that I still haven’t used and is expiring and a massage)#god. I need to book a lot of appointments. I don’t have time for this#anyway. hopefully they can put me on some meds and I can start feeling better. Even a little bit
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I love mistborn so far but I just. Can't fully get behind Vin and Elend man.
#the age difference is setting me off so bad#like as a now 21 year old knowing elend is most likely interested in a 16 is WEIRD.#AND I GET IT - it's made in the 2000. the book itself is in a different time period. i ve#* i get it#but for me personally it's just weird#cause i've reading vin as she is - a traumatized but honestly kinda naive 16 year old girl#and up until elend gave us his age i just thought he was like. 17.#and even outside of that i honestly was reading it as Vin having her first real kiddy crush.#like it wasn't meant to last long. BUT IT WILL#okay sorry i know people really like these two and i will admit - age gab and weird pacing aside-#they are pretty cute together. i just wish the age gap didn't exist because it just makes me feel uncomfortable.#i know that this journey takes the course of years and vin will be an adult later down the road#but i digress. okay now i'm done.#i just. feel crazy for not liking it.#AND OVERALL THE BOOK IS REALLY GOOD I'M ENJOYING IT A LOT#I JUST WANT TO MAKE THAT CLEAR! IT'S JUST THE ONE THING OKAY.
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This has got to be the worst move out yet
#packing perils#student living#Uni shenanigans#ace is a mess#oh my god. okay so we start on Tuesday ive been gradually moving my stuff over to my friends house#cus were moving in together in September and shes staying in her place over the summer so well have everything in one place to move in#so take some stuff over to hers on tuesday before her shift then we walk to work together i collect her keys and say bye#go back to mine pack up some more stuff warned her i planned on doing 2 trips while she was working so start figuring out whats going#end up with two tote bags a crate a box and a large bag of boxes decide ill take the heavier tote bag and the box on the first trip#as i cant really carry much else with the box due to its awkward size even though its not particularly heavy and cut through the park to#shave off some time feel pretty good when i get there it wasnt unbareable esp after Saturday when carrying 4 heavy shopping bags ended up#covering me in bruises and scratches and messing my back shoulder and neck up so i feel like underestimated myself on this trip and like i#can take everything on the next trip well its already late in the day cus my mate does evening shift so by time i get back its half 9 so i#decide to cut through the park again to save time but the large shopping bag with my saucepans casserole dish etc is difficult to carry due#to how bulky it is and the crate tho it has handles is also unwieldy so my arms are being bruised and scratched up i cant waste time carryin#everything back home just to put one thing down at this point but im considering putting the biggest bag down in some overgrown plants in#the park speeding to my mates and coming back for it its a stupid and risky idea but its getting dark the sun is almost completely set and#no matter how often i rest i just cant manage it and my damn brain starts worrying about being murdered so i ditch the bag and i can move#much quicker now so rush to my mates and rush back reassure her as im leaving hers that i am bringin her keys back its just after 11 at this#point cus its over 35 minutes to get to hers i get back to the park in just over 20 my bag is still there! and i dont get attacked get my#stuff to her room then hustle to get to her job before she finishes at 12 get there a few minutes to spare shes not ready to go yet anyway#she tells me shes not comfortable with me walking back in the dark i should stay at hers i cant ive got an assignment so she says shes#walking me to mine then going to her boyfriends 5 mins down the road get back to mine shower have dinner and crank out my Wednesday 4pm#assignment by 7am go to bed get about 2 hours sleep before tge fire alarm is tested and then ive got to be up for a meeting with our new#landlord anyway and ofc its raining come back from our meeting grab food and start packing up some more sht get buses over to hers this time#together come back pack some more hope the rain dies down a bit but it doesnt look like its stopping and i somehow fcked my foot carrying#stuff earlier so she texts a coworker asking if they can pick us up they agree so organise a few more things but then a puddle causes their#car to break down the next bus is in over half hour so mate decides shes gonna run to her boyfriends to charge her phone while we wait for#the next bus to be due while shes gone i finish sorting things she then calls asks me to book a taxi cus the rain has only gotten worse when#taxi arrives realise that student accom is basically flooded deciding what to do while at hers cus the weather is unbareable she goes to get
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