personifiedchaosx - Tumblr blog

[personifiedchaosx]

Okay, so I think I’m going to go through with it and move Jack to my multi! It’ll take a while, ofc, but generally speaking he’ll be available from now on over at my multi, xheartpages !

[personifiedchaosx]

As much as I personally don’t want to, I might finally give in and move Jack over to my multi. I’ll mull it over a while longer, but I think that will be the best. I just can’t get comfortable on this blog; I kind of regret moving him here from his last blog cause it just feels... blah jfdogkfdkgodf

But if I move him over, I’ll be able to finally write Jack again; I can feel it. I’ve loved having him on his own blog this whole time, but I think it’s what needs to be done.

[personifiedchaosx]

THE   BUDDING  ROMANCE  PROMPTS 

for couples that are just beginning explore the sexual side of their relationship. 

DISCOVERY

[ EXPLORE ]  sender gets flustered while making out with receiver after becoming aroused. 

[ EXPLORED ]  receiver gets flustered while making out with sender after becoming aroused. 

[ EXPERIMENT ]  muses try touching each other more intimately for the first time,  groping,  caressing and kissing new areas. 

[ VENTURE ]  for sender to start teasing receiver by brushing their hand between their thighs or across their chest to see how they react.  

[ VENTURING ]  for receiver to start teasing sender by brushing their hand between their thighs or across their chest to see how they react. 

[ DISCOVERY ]  muses undress each other for the first time. 

[ NEED ]  receiver approaches sender and kisses them longer and more passionately than they ever have before. 

[  NEEDED  ]  sender approaches receiver and kisses them longer and more passionately than they ever have before. 

[  BUILD UP  ]  muses are kissing and it naturally begins to get more heated and intimate than they’ve ever taken it before. 

[  CAUGHT  ]  receiver catches sending getting flushed because of something they are doing or wearing. 

[  CATCHING  ]  sender catches receiver getting flushed because of something they are doing or wearing. 

COMMUNICATING

❝  i think i’m ready to go further now,  if you are.  ❞

❝  i’m a little nervous,  but it’s a good nervous.  ❞

❝  i know we were waiting to get intimate until we were both ready,  so i thought i’d let you know i’m ready now.  ❞

❝  can we take a break—i’m just.  i like this,  but i need to go a little slower.  ❞

❝  why don’t you tell me what you like?  ❞

❝  take my hand,  show me where you want to be touched.  ❞

❝  you just look…you always look good but right now it’s.  wow.  ❞

❝  do you like this outfit?  i wanted to wear something special.  just for you.  ❞

❝  all i wanna do right now is take you inside.  ❞

❝  i want you to stay here with me tonight.  stay?  ❞

❝  i wanna do more than just kiss you goodnight.  ❞

❝  i don’t wanna stop touching you.  i just wanna be near you and close to you in any way i can.  ❞

❝  it’s getting harder to keep my hands off you lately.  ❞

❝  no,  don’t stop.  i liked it.  i like when you hold me like that.  ❞

❝  stop looking at me like that i’m gonna blush in front of everyone!  ❞

❝  why are you blushing?  ❞

❝  you don’t have to be so shy about it.  ❞

❝  honestly,  i’ve been starting to feel the same way.  i want more.  i want to try more.  ❞

❝  i just.  i really like you in that.  ❞

❝  so,  i thought,  it might be a good idea to talk about,  you know.  our boundaries and what we’re both comfortable with.  ❞

❝  i don’t really wanna go out tonight i just…want to be with you.  just us.  ❞

DEMI / ACE SPEC

❝  i don’t usually feel these things.  but i do with you.  i’m starting to.  ❞

❝  i know i said i might not want to do anything sexual,  but.  i think i do actually.  you make me want to.  ❞

❝  i wanna try some things with you.  ❞

❝  i wanna do this.  for you.  making you feel good will make me happy.  ❞

❝  i need a little more time,  but i’m almost ready.  ❞

❝  no,  i’m okay.  i want this too.  trust me,  i really want it.  ❞

❝  i’ve done this before,  i’m just a little bit slower to get to it is all.  ❞

❝  you know,  what we talked about before?  i’m ready.  i wanna talk about it again.  ❞

❝  wow okay,  yeah.  this is doing it for me actually.  ❞

❝  i was…hoping we could stay in tonight actually.  i want you all to myself.  ❞

❝  are you sure you’re ready?  i don’t want to pressure you.  ❞

❝  is this alright?  do you want more or should we just keep it at this level for now?  ❞

❝  i’m really turned on right now for once so you better hurry up.  ❞

❝  you wanna…skip the movie and go back to my place?  ❞

[personifiedchaosx]

Jack is wiggling awake a little bit, so he will be back sooner as opposed to later <3

[personifiedchaosx]

Still alive, but the Jack muse has been wonky at best. I might say fuck it and do a soft reset and delete most of my drafts on my next day off but we'll see. Jack is still in here, but hes so fickle lately.

[personifiedchaosx]

adam lambert // for your entertainment rp meme 

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!

music again. 

i don’t want anyone instead of you. 

i’m going crazy. 

you’re someone else’s baby. 

i’m so sick of living for other people. 

i don’t wanna lose ya. 

you make me wanna listen to music again. 

i’m inspired again. 

i know in some ways, we’re kinda evil. 

my heart’s no stranger to upheaval. 

for your entertainment. 

i need to be entertained. 

baby, don’t be afraid. 

imma hurt you real good. 

do what i say. 

imma hold you down until you’re amazed. 

give it to you till you’re screaming my name. 

no escaping when i start. 

once i’m in, i own your heart. 

i own your heart. 

hold on until it’s over. 

do you know what you got into? 

can you handle what i’m about to do? 

it’s about to get rough for you. 

i’m here for your entertainment. 

i bet you thought that i was soft and sweet. 

i’m in control. 

take the pain, take the pleasure. 

take the pain, take the pleasure, i’m the master of both. 

let me into your soul. 

whataya want from me. 

there might have been a time when i would give myself away. 

once upon a time, i didn’t give a damn. 

just don’t give up. 

i’m working it out. 

please don’t give in. 

i won’t let you down. 

it messed me up.

it messed me up, need a second to breathe. 

need a second to breathe. 

baby, you’re beautiful. 

there’s nothing wrong with you. 

it’s me, i’m a freak.

thanks for loving me.

thanks for loving me, coz you’re doing it perfectly. 

there might’ve been a time when i would let you slip away. 

i think you could save my life. 

strut. 

i wanna start a revolution. 

we all have got our own pollution. 

your hands are tied. 

open your mouth, open it wide. 

let the freedom begin. 

feel the fire within. 

i wanna see you strut. 

c’mon, walk for me. 

everybody’s looking for some love. 

get yourself some validation. 

soaked. 

your soul will be okay. 

you’ve had enough searching for love. 

you miss the touch of someone new. 

it’s never how it seems. 

take shelter and hide forever. 

sure fire winners. 

our big guns gonna shatter your scene. 

it’s pandemonium. 

we are the sure fire winners. 

i’m full of desire. 

we’re all drawn to the heat of the flame. 

i was born with glitter on my face. 

where did all their pretty boys go? 

take a walk on the wild with me. 

a loaded smile. 

if i say i’m sorry, it’s just me telling a lie. 

when you’re in my arms, i feel emptier inside. 

i feel emptier inside. 

i never felt so satisfied. 

i think i need a little more time. 

honestly, i don’t know if we’ll survive. 

you are all i ever want. 

we are barely hanging on. 

i do still want to, baby. 

it’s a certain kind of complicated. 

if i had you. 

all we need in this world is some love. 

there’s a thin line between the dark side and the light side. 

if i had you, that would be the only thing i’d ever need. 

money, fame and fortune never could compete. 

i got you stuck on my mind. 

it don’t mean a thing tonight. 

pick u up. 

we can’t be wrong. 

are you gonna play with me? 

all my life i’ve been waiting. 

can’t you see what i mean? 

you’re the one i want to know. 

i need someone to be my lover. 

fever. 

could you be mine? 

i’m sick of laying down alone. 

i wanna get you alone. 

i wanna get you alone, give you fever. 

you’re still my soul. 

nobody knows me. 

sleepwalker. 

i couldn’t walk away. 

it took me back to the end of everything. 

scream at the sky, but no sound is leaving my lips. 

it’s like i can’t even feel. 

i can’t even feel after the way you touched me. 

i’m not asleep but i’m not awake after the way you loved me. 

let me out of this dream. 

everywhere that i go i see another memory. 

i feel so lost and lonely. 

you’re everything that i want, but you don’t want me. 

aftermath. 

have you lost your way? 

have you lost your way, living in the shadows of the messes that you made? 

everything inside your circle starts to overflow. 

take a step before you leap. 

you’ll get back what you give away. 

don’t look back on yesterday. 

wanna scream out, no more hiding. 

don’t be afraid of what’s inside. 

you’ll be alright. 

you’ll be alright, in the aftermath. 

anytime anybody pulls you down, anytime anybody says you’re not allowed, just remember you are not alone. 

before you break you have to shed your armour. 

tell a stranger that they’re beautiful so all you feel is love. 

broken open. 

broken pieces break into me. 

so imperfectly what you should be. 

i don’t want you to go. 

don’t wanna see you back out in the cold. 

don’t run away. 

find me. 

i know the battles of chasing the shadows of who you wanna be. 

go on and shatter, i’m all you need. 

lay here, it’s safe here. 

i’ll let you be broken open. 

hide here, confide here so we can be broken open. 

time for miracles. 

it’s late at night and i can’t sleep. 

missing you just runs too deep. 

i can’t breathe, thinking of your smile. 

every kiss i can’t forget. 

this aching heart ain’t broken yet. 

i wish i could make you see. 

i know this flame isn’t dying. 

nothing can stop me from trying. 

baby you know that maybe it’s time for miracles. 

maybe it’s time for miracles. 

i ain’t giving up on love. 

i ain’t giving up on us. 

i just wanna be with you. 

living is so hard to do when all i know is trapped inside your eyes.

all i know is trapped inside your eyes. 

[personifiedchaosx]

Was trying to write up some replies in drafts in one of my other blogs, and Tumblr decided to be the functioning website we all know and delete it. While I was one it. ( Nothing new to me, but just as annoying. )

It’s pretty late, so no one will probably see this warning unfortunately, but — tumblr is fucking up, so if any of my blogs get deactivated, it’s just tumblr doing what it does best and I’ll be hopefully back sooner as opposed to later.

[personifiedchaosx]

Jack Frost Rise of the Guardians (2012)

[personifiedchaosx]

heartsaked​:

it seemed almost dramatic to say that in a way, time had seemed to stand still after he had taken hold of jack’s hand not even too long before. but the silence between them, after shaw’s own question & waiting for jack to finally say something, felt like it was dragging on for eternity.

there was no way that shaw would be irresponsible to rush jack to give him an answer. he could be patient, & the last thing he wanted was to put jack on the defensive because he just wanted to know what was wrong with his boyfriend. he was being a bit overly cautious to say the least. one wrong step could mess something up & that was truly the last thing shaw wanted when it came to jack.

he doubted it would be like how it was when he first uttered those three words. but what if it actually was just about the same?

he let go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in until the moment jack started speaking again. even if it was a few words, it still meant something to the bassist. even feeling jack toy with his fingers was another wave of reassurance to him. his own body relaxed further, no longer feeling on edge in the case that he did something wrong or even giving jack the impression he was upset. shaw wanted to be open & honest, as welcoming as a guy like him could be.

as jack starts to speak again, shaw didn’t look away from him for a moment. not only wanting to let the other’s words & explanation sink in, but to take in his expression, ready to reassure him at a moment’s notice. the only time the male’s expression shifted was when the name of jack’s ex was brought up, barely even holding back from the way his expression soured at the mention of that bastard.

shaw was not the kind of person to hate so deeply. even his own complicated with his older brother, gavin, couldn’t constitute to him hating him. he could find people annoying or troublesome, but hate would never be a word he used. but ethan? a man that he’s never met ( yet ) ? he definitely loathed him. an ass like him never deserved anyone as good as jack, to hurt him in such a way that even now jack seemed worried. to always be hesitant about what he did around shaw & how shaw would react. no matter how much shaw would reassure him, even with his own playful teasing, he knew that the damage from ethan’s actions on jack would not wipe away so easily.

he just better stay lucky that he hasn’t had the pleasure to meet him. yet.

jack letting go of shaw’s hand didn’t phase the male much, forcing himself out of his own thoughts to focus on his boyfriend before him. once more, pale brows furrowed before he lightly shook his head, lifting a hand up to cup jack’s cheek with a half smile.

“when i told you that, i didn’t mean that as a bad thing, snowflake. it’s just —— …” now it was his turn to pause from his words, gaze averting from jack’s in a show of what could be close to him being bashful. there was heaven a slight hint of pink starting to bloom across his cheeks. “i’ve never been with anyone that’s loved as strongly as you. that’s made me feel the way that you do. i don’t care how clingy you are with me, babe. as long as i can be a little selfish with your love & affections, then it doesn’t bother me one bit.”

moment of bashfulness disappears effortlessly, that playful smirk that the bassist was known for. “so keep loving me with all the fierceness in that big heart of yours.” he may not feel like he was worthy of it, but as long as jack wanted to be with him, he’d take in every moment.

As he veered toward mentioning Ethan, he definitely noticed how Shaw’s expression seemed to darken, even if he tried not to make it too obvious. During that night in Live House where Jack had finally showed himself after days of silence and explained about his hesitation, he had noticed the anger in him as he explained about his past relationship; how he seemed to be upset and furious on his behalf.

A part of him hesitated, that familiar sensation of thinking he was in the wrong almost making him pause in his explanation entirely; worried that he would be upset at him for mentioning his ex, but... This was different. While his ex would of immediately said a sharp word or comment to get him to stop talking, to ‘reassure’ him that he was just overthinking, Shaw let him speak. Listened to him speak quietly, even as the younger’s stomach twisted in anticipation of what he would say or do when he was done.

Eyes widened slightly when a warm hand brushed his face, cupping his cheek gently and prompting his eyes to glance back up at him; a faint blush on his cheeks. That nickname, or was it a term of endearment by now?, prompted a smile on Jack’s face; warmth blooming where anxiety had been twisting, something like amusement and affection squeezing him as he watched the older’s face turn a faint shade of pink; as embarrassment seemed to grab hold of him. It was so rare to see Shaw embarrassed -- the sight was almost funny, especially given that he was somewhat the cause of it.

Whatever fear or anxiety or negative feelings that had been expanding within him seemed to leave just as quickly, leaning his cheek gently against the palm still cupping his cheek. Never had he been made to feel... ‘okay’ for how tight of a grip he tended to have when it came to what he loved. It felt as though he was finally given permission, an ‘okay’ to love however he wanted, cause Shaw loved the way he loved just as much as he loved him.

It still felt impossible.

A faint laugh escaped him at the smirk that quickly replaced the bashful look, scrunching his nose slightly at him. “... You’re too late. I saw you blush.” Shaw couldn’t of expected for him to not tease him for it, even if it was gently. “But... yeah, I... “ His own blush darkened on his cheeks, a hand grasping his wrist gently before he lifted himself slightly on the balls of his feet to brush his lips against his gently; in a brief kiss.

 “... Thank you... I was just worried you’d get mad at me if I said something...” His smile brightened, heart almost full with the amount of love he felt for the man before him. “-- Okay... but only if you promise to love me back just as much.”

[personifiedchaosx]

the birth of jack frost

[personifiedchaosx]

personifiedchaosx​:

Starters to make for:

allnostaglic ( + other blogs :eyes: )

littlesncw

freeddead

historyfcrgot

hoopshearthrob

softheartstm

forviik

streetslost

starsweepers ( dawn )

[personifiedchaosx]

heartsaked​:

ever since that encounter he had with pitch, where his fellow harbinger seemed to have been asking too many questions for his own good about jack & the time the youngest of the fatui had spent with him, childe was more on guard than he ever had been. while he didn’t particularly find himself being very chummy with most of the other harbingers, it wasn’t as if he had purposely tried to antagonize them either. no stranger to probably annoying some of his older colleagues ( he had his instances of being a bit of a little shit ), at least most of them knew not to bother him unless there was a reason to be involved.

but apparently pitch didn’t get the memo. that, or he didn’t really care, wanting to get a rise out of childe.

he had warned jack to be careful of the older harbinger, even going so far as to want to keep him near him for safety. but even childe knew he couldn’t drag jack along with him to silence his own slight paranoia. pitch was one of the few harbingers that childe himself found unpredictable. he could either talk big & see what childe would do just to mess with him, or he was going to make good on his word with his newfound interest in jack because of their relationship.

when the latter seemed to be the case, childe returning back to mondstadt from his personal fatui obligations, only to realize that jack was nowhere to be seen, oh he was furious. at first he thought that maybe the cryo bearer was doing a commission or out training with the cavalry captain, kaeya, but childe knew better to make that assumption. pitch had wanted to play a cruel game, involving the life of someone that had grown to mean a lot to the eleventh harbinger ( much to his own surprise ), & childe was not one to lose. even to his own.

though the initial search for jack had been difficult at first, childe himself still had his way of figuring out where to find them. he had his way of asking the stationed members of the fatui about what they knew of pitch, words far from friendly when wanting his answers. the snezhnayan knew that this was probably another aspect of pitch’s ploy, sure that the higher ranking fatui member would find amusement in seeing childe unravel. not that he found himself in that state of being. yet.

time was lost in regards to finally coming across pitch & jack, but he knew his movements were hurried. to know that jack had been captive to pitch for the past week only lit another flame of anger & urgency within him. even though he knew that pitch would’ve struck at some point, whether with him in the picture or leaving jack alone, he should have never left jack’s side. ever.

jack himself was left alone, again, & childe knew that pitch was closeby. had he been alerted that the harbinger was here? was he lying in wait to see what childe would do before he retaliated. many questions buzzed in his mind, but all the male could care about was getting to jack’s side, stomach twisting at the injuries left along his body from pitch’s hands. here he thought that scaramouche had his own sadistic-like tendencies, but pitch was truly in a league of his own.

“i’m here —— i’m here, now,” voice is soft, blue eyes still assessing jack’s condition. he had to get him out of this place quick. there was a gentleness in how he took jack into his arm, lifting him up carefully as he was on high alert for an ambush on pitch’s end. hearing jack’s apology struck a chord with him, the other’s voice weak from the torture he had been subjected to. hardened gaze immediately softened, trying to offer him a carefree smile. “don’t apologize, snowflake… i’m sorry i wasn’t here to make sure this was avoided. but don’t worry, i’m here now. we’re going to get you home.”

after saying such, something felt different, the harbinger’s body tensed & once more he was on high alert. so it looks like the bastard was finally coming out to play.

“you know, back where i’m from, breaking a pinkie promise is a pretty big deal.” his head hadn’t turned to face pitch yet, hold on jack’s form in his arms slightly tightened, careful of his injuries, but there was still a tenseness in his hold. “but even though we never made a pinkie promise, i did warn you not to mess with what’s mine. so if you don’t want to face the actual wrath that i have for you right now, i suggest you scurry out like the rat you are.”

head finally turns to face the other harbinger, flashing the older male a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “besides, i’d truly hate to eliminate someone so loyal to the tsaritsa.” / @personifiedchaosx​​ & cont.

This wasn’t a dream. Everything hurt way too much for it to be a dream, or for it to be him dying. There wasn’t supposed to be this much pain.

A pained gasp escaped him as his hand gripped onto the front of Childe’s shirt as he is lifted, blue eyes shutting tightly as his head rested on his shoulder. Heaviness still threatened to steal his consciousness, the overwhelming urge to go to sleep heavy and distracting. If he really was so close to freedom, he wanted to take it; to be taken out of this hell and back home, he didn’t want to succumb now. Not now when he was so close. It still was a wonder how Childe had managed to find where Pitch had taken him, but being in his arms was such a comfort that he couldn’t care as to how.

Until he could feel the shift in the air at almost the same instant the 11th harbinger could.

Spending so much time here, Jack always felt the shift whenever Pitch Black came back to torture and taunt him further, could feel how the air seemed to be electric with energy and the promise of pain. The feeling of safety he had felt a moment ago was siphoned quickly, heartbeat increasing as he gripped onto Childe’s shirt tighter.

He had to get out of here.

If he didn’t then....! Then Pitch would...!

“D-Don’t...” He tugged at the gray attire in hopes of drawing his attention back to him, feeling the tension in his body and the urge to fight that was almost fully ingrained in the harbinger’s being. “You... you promised... don’t fight...”

“I would take his advice.”

The dark harbinger finally emerged from the shadows, the look on his face a sort of cold amusement and smugness, golden eyes meeting Childe’s dull blue easily. His hands were circled behind his back, his posture easy and casual, as though they were meeting under any mundane circumstances. Pitch glanced down to the stock of white hair he could make out just slightly in his arms, lips curling into a faint smirk.

“--- You took longer than I thought you would to get here, Tartaglia. I would of thought you’d be busting down the door the moment your little plaything went missing. Heh -- well, it’s fine. At least we had time to play by ourselves without your supervision.” He took a step closer, the sound reverberating through the empty place, prompting Jack’s grip to tighten further.

“I would of thought someone chosen by a harbinger would of been more fun, but alas...” A shrug, as though it was a tragedy. “I will say that i thought he would succumbed much sooner. I’m impressed, truly. I can see why you have so much fun playing with him...”

Pitch couldn’t help his taunting, even though he needed not with how angry Tartaglia already was upon entering. But the urge to poke and prod moved him forward --- what are you going to do now? Would you attack a fellow harbinger over some boy?

It was fun to try and guess what he would do.

“Oho? Eliminate me? Really?” Laughter escaped from Pitch’s lips, as though it was a gentle joking jab instead of a real threat. “Please... I would love to see you try.”

Weakness still had a fierce grip onto Jack and his being, but he was desperate to try and keep Childe’s attention on him, and away from the goading harbinger. Knowing he was moments away from taking the bait. Pitch’s constant threats against him rang in his head, and he couldn’t help but see nothing else but his lover’s demise. “D-Don’t... Please... Childe...?”

[personifiedchaosx]

Ask my muse an "is it normal?" question and they'll have to answer if it's normal or not

Ex; "is it normal to sleep with a nightlight at age 26?" or "Is it normal to be afraid of elves?"

[personifiedchaosx]

streetslost​:

             IT WASN’T THE DARK THAT SCARED HER.  it was what lay in the darkness.  visions playing, shifting and shaping.  monsters.  reminders.  how EASY it was to disappoint, to make angry; the agony of failure was too much, but the voice to accompany it was ingrained inside her head.  she could hear him no matter where she was now, and there came the tension in her muscles as though bracing for strike for doing nothing more than breathing.

           attention was swift back to her brother, seeing the g r i n.  she ached to hear a laugh, but hoping for such was foolish.  not even a pun could bring forth such a noise.  things were too much, and no joke was going to prevent the weight from crashing further onto their shoulders, their chests.  if she had any tears left, she would have broken apart right then for no reason other than how dearly she wanted sleep she couldn’t have.

                      rolling enough to get to hands and knees, she half crawled across the ground to him.  rough, scratching her palms, snagging at thin threaded jeans… her knees begged for relief, but cat didn’t cease until she was in jack’s hold, w r a p p i n g tight to try and share warmth.  the tickle of chill to her face brought teeth together, gritting with effort to prevent chattering.

            “there is no sleep.  s’just closing my eyes… and seeing the shapes in the darkness.  i don’t like that.”  they couldn’t PHYSICALLY cause her harm, but the way her mind was plagued, strength diminished regardless.  stomach twisted, fire felt in her veins.  there was no escape.  not really.

                                  “if m’a dork, you’re a nerd.”

His arms wrapped tightly around Cat was she settled into him, feeling a faint ache tug at his heart from how close and fiercely she settled into him. The feeling of failure ripped into him, a constant now, and he swallowed back the painful feelings that threatened to rise. His role as older brother felt justly undeserved, given all that he could not protect the younger girl from; things that he should of been able to protect her from. Even in their predicament, she should be able to feel safe with him.

What a joke.

“Yeah... Yeah...” There was no other response to give than one of agreement, showing that the same problems plagued him. Both of them have seen and experienced way too much to ever feel comfortable in the darkness ever again, even if the chill wasn’t stinging through their thin and dirty clothing. Jack felt her closed, hoping to at least be able to warm her through what was left of his body heat, fingers stroking through her thin hair.

He needed to still keep looking for a way to get her out of here...

“Heh... And if i’m a nerd, you’re a bonehead.” A finger pokes at her forehead teasingly, the faintest sound of a chuckle escaping him. “... I know it’s hard, but try to at least get a little bit of sleep. Any little bit. I’ll be right here.”

[personifiedchaosx]

i hate the notion that traumatized people have to be sweet, kind, defenseless beings, and that this is the only way any of them will be loved. because damaged goods still need to be good somehow.

my trauma made me paranoid, insecure, detached; it planted a seed of rage deep within me that took roots as the years went by untreated.

my trauma caused me to live on pure instincts. i became cunning, sharp, mean.

am i not worthy of love too?

[personifiedchaosx]

Starters to make for:

allnostaglic ( + other blogs :eyes: )

littlesncw

freeddead

historyfcrgot

hoopshearthrob

softheartstm

forviik

streetslost

starsweepers ( dawn )

[personifiedchaosx]

victoryclaimed​:

                                 there’s a moment’s hesitation before his hold loosens the slightest around jack. the spirit of love didn’t think the other would leave so easily, but it wasn’t all that outrageous to make sure he wouldn’t be going anywhere. if jack didn’t want to be there, he wouldn’t be, hawks reminded himself. even so, the thought of jack going anywhere else was not a pleasing one to have.

                                 he would put that on the shelf to process later.

                                 "yes,“ he answers honestly, and perhaps too quickly. he’s glad his face is hidden in jack’s chest so the warm blush spreading across his cheeks can’t be seen. "cuddling,” he starts, “is much better when you’re here because you can cuddle back. pillows can’t.” and sure, he could, in theory, cuddle the cherubs, but they were all happier with jack around. he releases a content sigh at fingers in his hair and he burrows deeper into the fabric of jack’s sweater.

                                 "and… it’s easier to just… y'know, relax with you around. i don’t know if you know this jack, but, uh, you're kind of my best friend.“ he moves his hands to splay out across jack’s back, pressing a kiss to his chest.

Another short laugh escaped him at Keigo’s obvious relief as he said that he would stay, keeping his hands gently on his shoulders. It felt so nice to be... wanted. To have his presence wanted, not being shooed away. Cupid always managed to make him feel this way... the thought brought the faintest twinge of blue to his cheeks, even tho he tried to swallow it down. “You’d rather cuddle me even though i’m cold...?” The Guardian’s temperature was ‘normal’; warmth against the icicle that was his skin. He’s never complained, even when they were in much more compromising positions, but...

You’re kind of my best friend.

Something curdled in his stomach, even as goosebumps fanned over his skin from the warm kiss against his chest; tightening his hold on him. There was a conflicting mix of emotion in his chest; something both happy and sad... stroking his loneliness and yet taking it away at the same moment. Friends... That’s all they were.  That’s what their agreement started on, no strings attached and he agreed, but...

No. Don’t ruin it. Don’t ruin this. Just friends was good enough for him.

“... You’re my best friend, too.” Jack’s voice lowered a bit, breath hitching at the gently possessive hand splaying over his back, back arching softly. Fingers brushed through blonde hair even further, brushing back bangs from his face. “I’d rather be here than anywhere else...”