#but it just makes for such uneven relationships in fanfics

[cottagecore-raccoon]

My biggest fandom pet peeve is when one character in a ship is considered the hot/cool one, and the other is seen as just lucky to be with them. Like folks will let the "hot" one get away with anything, but once the "less attractive" partner makes a mistake they are unforgivable and need to beg to be with them again

[ninjatrashpanda]

Season 8 Episode 2 Write-Up

Folks! I did it last week, I’ll do it again! And probably for every new episode we get! I liked doing it, and several people followed me for it, so why not, right?

Anyway, 8x02 was still a fantastic episode, even if I didn’t necessarily like it as much as 8x01. I’ll hold off on making a full judgment until next week, when we have the full trilogy in front of us. So, without further ado, beware the cut, for it is long.

1. The Opening Scene

Right off the bat, this feels like the earthquake episode. We’re immediately introduced to the victims of the week, from the sports team, to the business guy, to dog lady, Jem (the hero of the hour!) and his dad, and the elderly couple. I particularly love that Jem is introduced to us by having him walk into the cockpit and talking to the pilots about how much he loves and knows about planes. He’s just instantly so endearing! And his dad seems super encouraging, too. Some of my favorite characters of the week (or weekS I guess, in this case) in a while, honestly!

“Beautiful girl!” “He is.” made me laugh. All of these people just seem super nice, all things considered, and it’s nice that this dog lady isn’t as much of a piece of work as the other dog lady in the earthquake episode.

Also, same Dennis, I don’t like the window seat in a plane either. I’m much too scared of heights like you.

2. The 118

So there’s been a lot of discussion already about Buck spiraling over not knowing why he tackled Gerrard out of the way, and Hen, Chim and especially Eddie not really caring and dancing around instead. And personally, I’m a little torn. Yes, Buck is technically making a big deal out of nothing, and technically his emotional state is not anybody else’s concern. It still leaves a bad taste in my mouth that Buck is asking for reassurance from Eddie, only for Eddie to basically blow him off and dance away instead. Like, at this point a lot of us have pointed out that Buck and Eddie’s relationship is quite uneven, and I think this is part of that.

That being said, I actually do get Eddie. Eddie very often, at least to me, seems like he doesn’t feel his emotions properly. When he’s angry, he seems annoyed at best, his sadness is usually some slightly wet eyes and some subdued facial expressions, etc. It’s part of why it makes such an impact when he ends up exploding, emotionally speaking. Most of this obviously comes from several decades of emotional repression, because Eddie wants to protect his pride, because he doesn’t want to seem weak. There’s a good chance he subdued his emotions forcefully when he was younger, and then, gradually, they numbed down on their own.

This is actually something the show has brought up before in several episodes, like in “Kids Today,” (3x01) where Eddie says his dad always told him to “brush it off” when things didn’t work out for him, or in “Hero Complex” (5x17), where it’s part of the generational trauma that Ramon has inherited from his father (Why is Abuelo Edmundo so romanticized in fanfics again?), and then gave to Eddie. They even bond over it and both vow to get better together, because they both realize that in their attempts to appear strong and capable, they caused themselves and others to get hurt.

So, how does any of this relate to this episode? Because it shows us, like many times before, that Eddie deals with emotions and the like by not dealing with them. He probably genuinely thinks that relaxing and having a dance party is good for Buck, because it’s distracting him from those pesky feelings nobody wants to feel. 

You could make the argument that Eddie has learned several times over that dealing like this is bad, (and I agree!) but even ignoring that Eddie has been unfortunately static in his development for a while, healing isn’t linear and people are bound to repeat past mistakes. I’m actually kind of hoping that this is some sort of set up for Eddie’s character arc this season! I really, desperately need him to have a good one that actually sticks this time, because the last few seasons have been disappointing in that regard.

Lastly, before I stop with overanalyzing Eddie over a silly dance party scene, do I wish that a certain subset of shippers reacted to Eddie doing what they predicted Tommy would do with the same level of vitriol? Yes. Am I surprised they don’t? No, because hypocrisy is a BoB standard at this point.

Also, Buck and Gerrard are gonna end up golfing together because Buck feels guilty. That’s my current theory, and I’m sticking with it for now.

3. The Funeral Flashback

Right off the bat, I want to say that we don’t appreciate Pepi Sonuga as Young Athena enough. She was fantastic back in Season Three, and now she comes in four years later, looking exactly the same, and repeating it. That woman is absolutely fantastic!

I don’t think I need to say much about the funeral itself. We all cried, I’m assuming. Athena’s speech was beautiful, the music was perfect, and the dispatcher giving Emmett his last honors gave me huge flashbacks to Kevin’s funeral. Just an all around well done scene.

Also, shoutout to Gina Torres being both a paramedic captain in present day Austin, Texas, and a dispatcher 30 years ago in LA, California lmao.

4. Athena and Dennis (And Dennis’ flashback)

I’m torn. Just…so torn. Because Dennis is just all around such a nice, genuinely good guy. Like, he can leave prison. He made a deal to do that. He can go back to his family, can go back to being a social worker, can go back to helping people…and he decides not to without Athena’s blessing. Because he understands just how much his actions hurt her, and that all the good he did didn’t mend the hole in Athena’s heart. He understands that Athena deserves closure, and to have a say in how her fiancé’s murderer is punished. And he accepts it and is willing to give up his freedom to give it to her.

And honestly, I think this is what’s gonna lead to her forgiving him and giving him her blessing to go through with the deal. She’ll realize just how much Dennis is like Bobby. All the qualities she loves about Bobby are right there, in Dennis, and she’ll realize that his killing Emmett wasn’t malicious, just like Bobby setting the fire wasn’t, and that if she can look past Bobby’s actions because of how much he repents, she can do the same with Dennis. Just like with the Gerrard and Buck golfing theory up there, this is my current Athena theory, and I’m sticking with it until Thursday proves me either right or wrong!

The flashback was pretty informative in a very short amount of time, and I really like that! I love that they threw in the part about every other inmate hating Fulton for hurting kids, which is, reportedly, Truth in Television. If you mess with kids, being in prison is the least of your concerns.

I also appreciate that they picked just a normal looking dude to play the pedo! I feel like too often, TV shows and movies typecast a certain look in these roles (overweight, balding, conventionally unattractive) and then try to make them look creepy on top of that. Them picking a guy you might see while out grocery shopping, who on top of that looks pretty easy going and friendly, is not only a nice change of pace, it’s more realistic. Kudos to you, show!

Also, apparently Maxwell Fulton is just Jeffrey Epstain. Should we start a “Fulton Didn’t Kill Himself” meme?

5. The Crash

Captain Dominguez joins bee driver guy from last week in “Characters who had family and loved ones In Universe who now grieve for them, but we don’t really care.” Also, casual reminder that her body, while hopefully already dead by then, will fall to the earth and literally splatter into goo unless it drops into a body of water, which would still cause damage to the body, but wouldn’t turn her into a red blot. At least bee driver guy’s family had his body. Let’s hope Dominguez doesn’t go splat in a neighborhood with kids! 😃

I love the chaos of the initial crash! Everyone getting thrown around, the copilot having an open fracture and being unconscious, Jordan’s oxygen mask being broken (Why was it broken? Did it break right now? Was it broken beforehand? Either way, it shouldn’t have happened, what kind of airline is this???), the whole thing is so well-shot! Exceptional camera work, seriously!

Also lmao at Athena’s phone actually working. She’s got great service!

Honestly love, love, LOVE that they brought back the air traffic crew from Season Five! It’s a nice bit of continuity and a callback for us to turn into the Pointing Leo meme!

6. Hot Shots

“Help me, help me, I’m in here.” I don’t know if they’re implying that that’s what it’s gonna sound like in the finished episode or if it’s just to help the actors space their pauses and the real audio is getting edited in later, but still, it made me cackle. Great call back to Season One, too!

Also, is it just me or is the director going “It’s a TV show!” “They’re not putting their visors down!” etc. just Tim throwing shade at us all lmao? Callum Blue is amazing here, too, the sheer condescension in that “Marcus!” had me fucking rolling!

“He’ll be gone after a week, but you…you’ll still be here!” And that lip bite??? He wants Bobby. He so wants Bobby. Which is understandable, you know, I desire Peter Krause carnally, too, but like…you’re laying it on a little thick there, mate. I also love how genuinely scared Bobby looks right after lmao.

7. Back on the plane + Maddie calling the 118

Okay. So. Uh, I don’t think the copilot has an open fracture anymore? More like something  stabbed and is now stuck in his leg? I don’t know, can anyone clarify?

“That’s not good!” No Jem, a hole in the plane is not good! Should I question why the people weren’t moved away from the tear before now? Probably not. Let’s just appreciate that Athena somewhat knows what she’s doing here.

Her speech is great, too. It’s at moments like this where you realize “Oh yeah. That’s Angela Fucking Bassett in the silly wee woo show.” The delivery, the actual monologue, how she rallies and speaks to everyone. I feel like if Athena’s cop storylines centered more around moments like this, about her showing empathy to people, about her building people up instead of her going rogue and “doing what’s right” I’d enjoy those scenes a lot more.

Maddie only being in this episode to tell everyone that Athena is on a crashing plane, and that they’ll coach a bunch of civilians through triage, yet they still got JLH to cry is peak, and I mean that seriously! Let JLH cry! She’s so good at it!

Athena going to leave a (possibly) dying message to Bobby on his phone is heartbreaking enough, her not doing it and instead just saying “I love you, baby,” is somehow worse??? 

“Everything should be fine!” *disconnects call* “We should probably evacuate the airport!” Nick from air traffic control, you will always be famous to me💖

8. Back to Bobby

So Brad is either completely insane, or a really, really dedicated method actor. Or both. Also, is it just me or is he not just admiring Bobby, he tries to be Bobby? Like, he yells at his “co-writer” (likely story <.<) and then instantly asks Bobby to go up to a remote location on a mountain to method act about firefighting. That’s…concerning. I still think he’s hilarious, but also…he’s a little creepy…

9. Triage and everything else on that plane

I don’t think there’s much I can say about this that hasn’t already been said. At the end of the day, 9-1-1 is about how humanity is good. People are good. And I don’t think any scene before has quite encompassed that as well as the one where everyone is working together on that plane to treat each other. Maybe the scene in Season Two when everyone breaks through the police barricades to help lift the ladder truck off of Buck’s leg, but this one is still the best show of that philosophy in my opinion.

Jem helping Athena with the plane is amazing, and I desperately need Tommy to be in Thursday’s episode, if only so he can tell Jem that he did great and has a bright future in aviation in front of him!

Probably the highlight of the entire episode for me is Tia (and by extension Edward and Pru) saving Jordan’s life. “Does anybody here have erectile dysfunction?!” and “Perks of being geriatric, dear!” are both class af lines that I hope we keep talking about because, come on!!!

“You’re making a prison shiv. Where did you learn how to do that?” Ma’am, I think the better question is, how do you know he’s making a prison shiv? Were you in prison too? Did you make a shiv yourself? Did you ever shiv someone, either to save your life or just for fun? So many questions about coach lady here! I love how nonchalant Dennis is about having been in prison, too. Like, sorry not sorry, right now he has no reason to care lmao.

Tia and Jordan having a moment was super cute, but I can’t help but think about the future here.

“Daddy, how did you and Mommy meet?”

“Well you see kids, we were in a crashing plane, and I was vomiting up pink foam, so she made me inhale boner dust to save my life! We fell in love instantly!”

Honestly, Tia, Edward and Pru working together to save Jordan’s life might just be the highlight of the episode for me. I love Jordan and the dog in the end there, super cute 💖

“I’ve never shived anyone!” I don’t believe you, coach lady! I bet you shived a whole bunch of people, actually!

“You’re gonna cut it open, just like a sausage.” Chim. Chim why? Chim, please, why?!

Okay, so, part of me is still super delulu and wants Tommy to rappel down and land the plane (fingers crossed!) but if that doesn’t happen, then I want Jem to do it. Like, lean into the crazy and have the 10-year-old with the hyperfixation land the giant passenger plane on the freeway! I would fucking celebrate it! I’m not lying!

Also, thank you for being smart, Dennis! I swear to Christ, why isn’t Athena calling Elaine to tell her about the list?! I get that Bobby is the person Athena trusts the most, but Elaine should be the obvious person to call. This just seems like a really weird writing decision. Honestly.

Which then leads us to Donna deciding to go “We’re gonna be okay! 😀” Girl, have you ever seen a movie or TV show before?! You never say this kind of shit before the crashing plane isn’t safe on the ground! Everything that’s now going wrong is your fault, Donna, and I hope you know it!

“Whatever situation Athena is in with Dennis, I’m sure she has it under control!” Cue the plane literally falling out of the sky lmao.

AND THEN JEM BECOMES ATHENA’S COPILOT! I love it! I love this random ass child so much, I cannot describe it 😭 Can we keep Jem? I want to keep him, please!! He literally just saved that plane, this is why I love this show! Like, yes, actually, I do want that child to land this plane! In fact, I hope Tommy rappels down and takes the pilot seat while Jem has the copilot one, and then they land the plane together! Will that happen? Probably not! But I can be delulu if I want to!

10. The last Five Minutes, from Bobby to Athena

First of all, Brad has five wives! Is he mormon? Is it proper polygamy? Is he officially married to all five women at once? Cause that’s bigamy and Athena told us in Season Five (I think?) that that’s a big No No.

“Athena’s on that plane, isn’t she?” “She’s flying it!” “Of course she is, what else would she be doing?” I love how Bobby is just not even surprised at this point. “Yeah, my wife is always in completely insane situations, this isn’t anything new.”

Buck’s fucking Shocked Pikachu face when Bobby decides that they’re stealing the truck sent me xD But hey, another “Like Father, Like Son” moment right there. Stealing a firetruck for a woman, who would’ve guessed!

“Brad…whatever.” So Buck has no idea who Brad is. This random stranger just jumped into the truck behind him and Bobby and said “Alright, boys. Let’s saddle up!” and Buck has no clue who this guy is or why he’s here or why Bobby has no reaction to him anymore. I can’t wait for next episode to see some interactions between all three of them!

So, uh, the last part with the copilot waking up and then having a heart attack was kind of pointless, right? Like, it’s not just me? Like, the copilot has a heart attack, so now Athena and Jem have to land the plane, except that was the plan from the beginning, so what changes here exactly? Yeah, the copilot would’ve been a better candidate, but Athena was already gearing up to land that plane herself.

Also, Jem is, as of the end of this episode, flying the plane by himself!

Final Thoughts

This was a much more action heavy episode than last week, which is great! It is, but I usually prefer the character interactions and moments, and I kind of missed them this week. That being said, this might still become my favorite opening disaster yet! Yes, even more so than the tsunami! It all depends on how Thursday’s episode goes.

The passengers all treating and rescuing each other was amazing, Brad is still fun (though I’m starting to suspect he might be in cahoots with Fulton? idk), and Angela Bassett is Angela Bassett.

As for Thursday, do I hope Tommy comes in to land the plane (with assistance from Jem)? Yes! Do I think it’s actually going to happen? Eeeeeeh. I’m prepared for it not to, and it won’t be a big deal if it doesn’t, but I can still dream!

Anyway, share your own thoughts with me! Send me asks if you want to! Have discussions with me! Or, you know, simply feel my appreciation for you for reading my jumbled mind lmao.

[pandorascripts]

Can we have more 241 wednesday and reader? i'm just in love with your writing and with this history <3

241 III

summary: cute stuff, also I'm sick of winter so this is a time skip into spring.

pairing: wednesday x gn!reader (could be read as fem)

note: i suggest you read at least 241 part II, I was also listening to Violent by benches and Where'd All the Time Go? by Dr. Dog when writing.

big note: I've decided to fight fire with fire, so I will now be putting my Wednesday fanfics in any and all tyler galpin and xavier thrope tags until people learn how to tag fics right.

part I, part II

What are we?

What are we?

What are we?

What are we?

You gritted your teeth together, hating how the question sounded so stupid. You shouldn’t have had to ask Wednesday what the two of you were, it should’ve been simple, really. You should just know. But you don’t, which is why on a Saturday walk in Jericho with Wednesday, you were anxiously biting your lip. The hand that wasn’t holding hers was stuffed in your pocket, chipping away at your nail polish. 

“You’re anxious, why is that?” Wednesday asked, turning her head up to you. 

You watched the rock you’d kicked seconds earlier skid and jumped across the uneven road.

“Dunno.”

Wednesday stopped in her tracks, not really minding the cool spring breeze. 

“Two months ago I made a promise. Do you remember what it conveyed?”

“Tears.”

Wednesday squeezed your hand sharply, lending you a warning look. “No, I promised I would not lie, and in turn I believe you agreed too.”

You nodded, looking down to your sneakers. 

“So, I won’t make you tell me, but I do hope you know that I want to listen. When you’re ready.”

With that, Wednesday continued walking again, you trailing closely behind her. The sounds of Wednesday’s boots hitting the ground were heavy, a juxtaposition to yours, which were softer and much lighter. You wondered if she walked heavily because Wednesday often said she’s got the responsibility of three blundering idiots on her shoulders. You failed to mention that she’s too small to cary Eugene, Enid, and you on herself. 

The walk turned silent once again, a peaceful silence. You fished out something from your pocket, sliding one in your ear as you handed the other to Wednesday. She accepted it, a light smile coating her lips. Another part of Wednesday’s apology. Since she liked to repress her emotions, which caused a lot of problems, she’d suggested the idea that she be more open, and allow emotions to show. 

“Thank you.”

“Mhm,” you mumbled, scrolling through a playlist you’d made. Recently, you found out that Indie Rock was a genre Wednesday didn’t mind, so you clicked on a playlist you made previously, letting it shuffle through and selecting a song. 

Arctic Monekys, you thought, nice. 

Wednesday’s finger tips lightly bounced off your hand, going to the beat. You smiled, looking up to the sky. Green was restoring itself to the bare trees, the sky was happily blue with clouds dusting over gracefully. The wind brushed against your ears making you shiver occasionally, but you didn‘t mind. In a way, you felt like spring represented your relationship with Wednesday. In a since that you two were too welcoming old friends, feelings, and allowing them to grow and take root. Your future was, if everything continued like this, peaceful as the sky, with little disruption. The song changed to one you quite liked. It was on the slower side, and so you unconsciously slowed your walk down, breathing in thick air. Under you, your foot sloshed in a puddle created the previous day from the melting snow.

Wednesday tugged on your hand, grabbing the other and setting it on her waist. You smiled, not trying to hide your confusion. Wednesday linked her arms around your shoulder, and started swaying. Your chest felt like it might explode, your heart rapidly beating as you swayed too. 

Wednesday rested her head on your shoulder as her arms slid down to hold your biceps. “I’m sorry, you just seemed so… at peace,” she whispered. 

You grinned, also burying your head in her shoulder. As Wednesday turned to her left, you turned to your left, still swaying with the song. A shaky exhale left your lips as you sighed. Your body felt heavy as Wednesday guided you, your feet sometimes hitting hers. If she minded, she didn’t say anything. Even as the song changed, you two still stayed there, swaying in the breeze like the leaves blossoming on the trees. 

“What’re we?”

Contrary to what you were thinking, Wednesday simply continued swaying, not bothering to stop this moment. 

“I don’t know, but what I do know is that it’s up to you. I was foolish, and now I’d like to be yours again, only yours.”

You nodded into her shoulder, adjusting your grip on her so it was more of a hug. 

“I want that too,” you mumbled, sighing contently. 

Wednesday and your’s relationship was spring, it experienced droughts and tough parts, experienced rain, and muck, but most importantly, it gave joy and peacefulness. It made both of you happy as you started anew, greeting old feelings and memories, but also making room for new beginnings. You truly believed spring to be your favorite part of the year, and as you stood dancing with Wednesday under half-green trees, you felt at home.

[furbywrites]

I'd Never Let You Go Pt. 1

So, this is my first fanfic. It's pretty rough. Constructive criticism welcome :)

Ao3

At the sudden reappearance of Joel and Ellie in Jackson, a lonely resident becomes enamored with the stoic man. Lacking social skills, they look from afar, thinking themself subtle in their admiration. Unbeknownst to them, Joel has also been admiring from afar, feeling just as incapable of forming any new emotional connection, but drawn to them regardless.

There were new arrivals in Jackson. Not entirely unusual; it was more so their initial dramatic entrance that caught my attention. They came, they left, and now they were back again. Normally I wouldn’t pay much attention, except for the fact that they seemed like such a mismatched pair. A younger girl and an old man, not father and daughter like I, and most others had assumed.

She was energetic, extroverted, and although hesitant at first, settled in nicely. The man was another story entirely. He kept to himself, made little conversation with anyone other than the girl, and Tommy of course. Estranged brothers from what I had gathered. I didn’t know Tommy well enough to delve into his family history. We spoke in passing, and even then very little. 

I wasn’t known for being talkative. This life has taught me that being quiet and keeping your head down helped things go smoothly. I’d been in Jackson for one year, and had no friends to speak of. Secluding myself was far too easy, especially in a world like this. Maybe that’s why I found myself so interested in him. We seemed so alike, but so different at the same time. Where he commanded respect with his presence alone, I blended into the scenery like a shadow.

I sat in the mess hall, attempting to discreetly take a peek from under my lashes. Joel Miller. He was scowling at his plate of food, until the girl, Ellie, read something from a book gripped in her hand. It was a subtle but noticeable uptick of his mouth, his guard coming down momentarily as he huffed a laugh with a shake of his head. It was these moments, a glimpse at the man beneath the mask, that continuously peaked my interest.

I gathered from the current town gossip that they had been through hell and back together. They must have an unbreakable bond if so. I felt almost envious of their relationship. No, not almost, I was.  

Joel was big, strong, and capable. Everything the people I survived with prior to Jackson hadn’t been. They had felt like a weight I carried on my shoulders, dragging me down, until eventually I had left to be on my own. I wish I could say it was easier. Some spiteful part of me wanted life to be easier without them, but going solo was far worse.

I was on death's door when a patrol group from Jackson had found me. The tips of my fingers frostbitten, feet numb and burning, stomach empty. I was dying. The worst part is, I could have gone back to my old group, they no doubt would have accepted me with open arms. But god, I was so humiliated at my own failure. I felt death was better than facing them again.

My eyes stung with oncoming tears at the memory, embarrassment heating my cheeks. The food before me suddenly looked less appealing, but I continued to eat it anyway. I looked once more towards Joel, glancing away hastily when we made eye contact. Not so subtle I guess.

His stare felt like it was burning me, somehow making the blush on my cheeks glow brighter all of his own accord. I took another glance, like gazing at him alone was somehow addictive. Taking in his uneven scruff, graying hair, soft brown eyes. One more look before I go. 

His gaze was unwavering. I could feel my heart pitter patter in my chest, the blush spreading to my ears. I stood quickly, in such a rush to leave the suddenly claustrophobic room. I left my food on the table and hurried out the door of the mess hall.

How humiliating. I can’t even make eye contact with him. A foolish fascination, a childish crush, turning me into a blubbering mess. I continued onwards, the crunch of dirt under my boots a welcome distraction, until the sound of another pair fast approaching became apparent.

“'scuse me.” 

My eyes widened, feeling as though they might pop out of my head and roll away. Much like I wished I could drop to the ground and roll away from this current situation. 

Joel had followed me.

I swallowed thickly, kept my head down and continued walking. I could hear him grunt in annoyance as he quickened his steps to catch up with me. Now walking side by side, I dared to look in his direction. “Would ya’ slow down for a minute?” he asked gruffly, brows furrowed heavily. 

Any normal person might. I am not normal. Most attempts at conversation by an average resident of Jackson caused anxiety to course through my body as though one of the infected were in front of me. With Joel? It was like my brain had turned off completely. 

I hastened my steps, turned my head to stare directly at the ground, watching my boots kick up dirt. I wasn’t even sure which direction I was walking in anymore. I just knew staying near him was a bad idea. I would say something stupid, or god forbid do something stupid.

I could hear him release a deep sigh, but he continued to walk with me. "You're real quiet, ya' know that?" he huffed, sounding almost annoyed. I frowned but said nothing. "Jus' wanna talk is all. Ya' don't gotta run from me."

[quigzahhutt]

8 (as unhinged as you can), 57, 58, 77

yessss im so excited

from the fanfiction ask game !

8 - Post an out-of-context spoiler from a WIP (as unhinged as I can)

hmm ok ok

George and Alex were currently bickering– no, have been bickering, for the last half an hour– the debate is something about a cuck chair? For some reason, both men are absolutely convinced one of them has to be plopped in The Chair™ while the other two fuck. Logan doesn't really understand why they can't just fuck him at the same time; its not like they haven't done that before. A while ago Logan had accidentally stumbled across George furiously jacking off Alex in the Williams motorhome. The pair fervently tried to shoo him away– which, first of all, rude; the motorhome is a shared space for both drivers– and second of all, well…  Logan may have ended up having sex with them. Both of them. At the same time.  It was messy and rushed and hardly even sex at all, but since then, the two older men have been absolutely enraptured by the young American. “Guys,” Logan tried to interrupt, “guys!” He shouted, eventually finally catching both men's attention, “what is the point of this argument at all? Couldn't I just be in the… cuck chair? If it's such a debate,” Logan grates out, overcome with embarrassment at the prospect of having to ask at all, “No–” both older men try to intervene at the same time, talking over each other. With a glare, George wins the battle and gains first speaking rights, “It just makes sense, no?,” the Brit said, his tone uneven and wonky, as if he's also embarrassed all the sudden, “Yeah, Loges, it's just the logical course of action,” Alex interrupts, gesturing with his hands “or it would be if someone wasn't being so difficult,” he says, sending a pointed look toward George. Logan could tell this was getting nowhere, and that both men were about to start arguing again, “What if you just... both have sex with me?” The youngest man states plainly; the two older men freeze, “What– did you guys not even consider that?” Logan huffs out in disbelief, “Well– we, um–” George begins, stuttering out syllable after syllable,

this is from an old logalex WIP I eventually abandoned; I was going for kind of a romantic comedy type thing but it just wasnt working out unfortunately :/ but maybe I'll finish it one day who knows

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57 - how conscious are you of including symbolism or foreshadowing in your fics?

not too much tbh it just kind of happens as I go? sometimes I'll make a comparison or foreshadow something I think might happen as the season unfolds, but its not something I pay too much attention to in the grand scheme of things lol

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58 - do you have a favorite piece of figurative language you've written?

ohhhhh this is a really good one, and I have been utilizing this a LOT in my recent works

The blanket on top of him seems to be the one he had seen thrown on the couch yesterday. It was soft– a dark navy with white threading frayed along the edges. It was obviously well loved, but it wasn't stringy or flattened; Logan clearly takes good care of it to balance out the overuse. There are loose smatterings of dog hair strewn over the surface of the fiber, embedded into the follicles, sticking out like fresh crops of black and brown grass; hints of a part of Logan's life he had never let Liam in on.

this is from my Liam/Logan fic (that I promise will be finished soon😭😭). I use a lot of figurative language in this fic specifically bcuz it's a lot more like... introspective than a lot of my other fics? but the visual of dog hair sticking out of the blanket like grass made me particularly teary and idk why😭😭 it's one of my favorite lines in the entire fic

---

77 - why do you enjoy writing fanfiction?

ohhh good question. I mean obviously as a form of creative expression but I feel like writing fanfic in particular is easier for me than just writing in general; I've always had a tricky relationship with creative expression because I have a hard time being artistic through typical means. Like, I can't just pick up a pencil and draw out an idea, it just wouldn't scratch it itch in my brain? I've always had to find more obscure forms of media to express myself in a way that feels satisfying. obviously writing and drawing are the big two main categories, but I can only ever express my creativity through hyper specific means of those forms, does that make sense?

I think I enjoy writing fanfic because it's creative, but in a more obscure way? it's about characters and people and it gives me a more strict guideline to follow so i don't get stuck on the tricky creative hurdles that make me lose motivation.

but I also enjoy writing fanfic because I know other people enjoy my work! not in a selfish way, but in the way of like... I'm providing content for a fanbase that other people consume. especially for like ships like sargebon or LiLo that are kind of more obscure; it makes me happy knowing im creating content for something that has a lack of it, if that makes sense?

[blood-starved-beast]

For the character asks game: 11, 15, and 16 for Lady Maria :3

Lady Maria!!

11. Would you date this character?

No. Lady Maria is the type of byronic hero that prioritizes her own problems and issues over everyone else's and that makes for a very uneven relationship. Also both of our flaws are the kind that would clash very strongly with one another and the dynamic would be very toxic.

I also covet her appearance so that's definitely gonna be a problem.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

...KosMaria not sorry about this actually. Something about them being parallels in a lot of ways with the idealized and abused motifs. How Maria's research in the Hall is trying to reach for the Cosmos but in the end everyone and herself included got dragged down back into the depths. Lady Maria committing suicide and then being forced by Kos to be her personal Knight Vanguard before the Hunter heads over to the Hamlet (and somehow, Maria has convinced herself it's about her secrets and whatnot - bruh, the delusion is Real). Also I have a fanfic WIP about them that touches more on some AU ideas floating in my head.

I also like Mariadeline! But like, in a tragic sense. I headcanon that while Maria was trying to sell that Girl Prince Look(tm), Adeline saw through that appearance and was attracted to Maria's Wet Cat Autism Creature vibes. Also her research, which both prioritized over each other. Ironic, that Adeline was so into the depths and Kos but Kos was more interested in Maria (world's most fucked up toxic yuri love triangle).

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

...Gehrmaria not sorry about this. I just, sorry besides the whole Vibes with the Doll I am not a fan of mentor/student relationships in general. (Also not a fan of the character twisting needed to justify this ship like no). Especially in this case cause it's literally the most generic ship concept in existence. How many Gehrmaria type ships exist in fiction? Throw a dart into any 60s-00s action or thriller movie and you probably find a ship with the same basic dynamic as them. I have zero interest.

Thanks for the ask Marble!!

[vashhanamichi]

I am in love with Hologhost. I love how dreamy and poetic it is. It's really intriguing and I also really like Mary Magdalene and the atmosphere that you have created. For the violence ask game: 1, 7, 8, 16, 18 and 25. Sorry for the amount of questions that I picked.

First of all thank you for your words, I’m glad you liked my fics! Also no need to apologise! think I never answered these types of asks before and I had a lot of fun answering them. Thank you for sending me an ask!

As for the answers:

1. The character that everyone gets wrong: I’m not sure if this counts, but a lot of people are not aware that 1) Tom wasn’t in muggle London for the Blitz! It happened while he was in Hogwarts. He’d see the effects - buildings destroyed for example - when he went back during the summer but he didn’t experiment the Blitz itself, if I remember the dates correctly. 2) he wasn’t a posh child! He had a working class accent and a manner of speaking/behaving. A lot of writers have him behaving like a upper Downton Abbey character since he was kid but he grew up poor and “unrefined”!

7. A character that you began to hate not because of canon but because of fanon: I don’t hate him but fanon Draco annoys me haha it’s kinda hard making him compelling in fanfic because in canon he’s a cowardly, spoiled little boy biting more than he can chew so I get why people would give him more depth and qualities but I don’t like the total distortion I see in certain fics, re: making him noble and brave or this cool and sexy bad boy who’s even more powerful than Voldemort 😬

8. Common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about: That Harry is Voldemort’s “equal”. He isn’t. Voldemort is older, more experienced - including sexually - smarter, ruthless. Perhaps Harry has dormant powers that make him as magically powerful as Voldemort (like what happened during the 7 Potters chapter as far as I remember) but this is not very explored in canon. More importantly, Harry is Voldemort’s Horcrux. He’s a possession, a prize. He belongs to Voldemort. I get wanting to make them equal so their relationship is more “healthy” but they’re inherently fucked up and that’s what makes it so fun and compelling to me. In fiction love can be an unequal and toxic affair. Harry is such as a concubine to a powerful Emperor and I like them like this. Their age difference alone puts them in uneven ground. If you want something closer to a more balanced relationship between them, Harry needs to travel back in time and meet a young Tom Riddle.

16. You can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterisation, trope, headcanon etc): Dark!Harry, any variety of Weasley and Dumbledore bashing, the whole “the light is evil actually” thing. If you take away how violently Harry disagrees with Voldemort and how much other people, who also oppose Voldemort, are important to him — the Weasleys, Dumbledore, the Order etc — you’re taking away the conflict and the friction between them. The whole point to me is Harry suffering with how much he loves Voldemort/Tom Riddle, no matter how wretched he is. He’s a Christ figure, condemned to love all Humanity and that Humanity includes Voldemort, but he’s also a human boy, not a god, so loving Voldemort hurts. Why would you take away Harry’s suffering? He’s at his prettiest when he cries!!! He was born to be a martyr!!!! Also I understand being annoyed by the canon’s lack of nuance between “dark” and “light”, but making the Malfoys the “good guys” and the Weasleys the “bad guys” is just inverting that binary. Also in canon Voldemort is very much a fascistic racist working with other fascist racists. Kinda hard to defend his philosophy.

18. It is absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on: Riddledore, Omega Voldemort (not Tom Riddle, VOLDEMORT) Omega Dumbledore, attic wife trope for both Harry and Dumbledore. The gothic fairy tale elements of TomHarry, the psychosexual madness of it all. Harry both as Voldemort’s son and mother. Stockholm Syndrome. Yaoi basics. How come Gellert didn’t impregnate Albus into submission in the western fandom yet? Also the characters Alastor Moody, Kingsley Shackelbolt and Cedric Diggory.

25. I’m not aware of any fandom complaint I think 🤔

I’ll answer your other ask ASAP!

[silver-tooth-the-panther]

Hello! I hope you don’t mind, I have a Hazbin Hotel one shot request. Adam and Lute have taken Lucifer and Little Charlie because Adam wants Lilith to be his again. He tells her that he'll let her family go if she agrees to go with him. She agrees. Lilith passionately kisses Lucifer one last time and she hugs Charlie tightly, she tells her she loves so much. Adam then grabs Lilith and then they are gone. After that Lucifer rarely let Charlie ever leave the castle out of fear of losing her too and Charlie as she grew held resentment towards angels for taking her mother from her. Sorry if it's long I'm not good at summaries.

(I hope you enjoy the story! This took quite a bit of effort and I think you’ll like it! Have a great day!)

Hidden Under the Surface

(A Hazbin Hotel Fanfic)

Warning: Severe angst, kidnapping, panic attacks, violence, swearing, and toxic relationships

Charlie could hear all the sinner’s screaming from her bunker inside the hotel. She resented this horror holiday that the angel army cherished so dearly. The demon princess held her girlfriend, Vaggie, close to her chest. She needed to make sure that nothing would happen to her.

The rest of the residents were also held in the bunker. Alastor was clutching Angel Dust, in hopes of calming his terrified boyfriend. Nifty was bored out of her skull and decided to stare off into the dark chamber. Husk and Sir Pentious were playing cards in the corner. Everyone else could hear the snake scientist growling in frustration at his incoming loss.

Charlie’s breathing was harsh and uneven. Every year, the extermination sent her in a panic attack. One that confused her friends. Since she was the demon princess, Charlie had the power to easily defend herself. It was understandable for her to be distraught over the lives lost, but a panic attack? There was something hiding under the surface.

“Babe, you need to calm down.” Vaggie said, gripping onto Charlie. “You’re going to make yourself sick.” Vaggie looked up at her terrified girlfriend.

“I’m sorry. It’s..just..” Charlie was on the brink of tears. “Just what?” Vaggie whispered in an attempt to be soothing. “The angels.” Charlie sputtered out through choked breaths.

This had caught everyone’s attention. “Whadda mean?” Angel Dust spoke up. “You can fight them off easily. No problem.” Everyone, except Vaggie and Charlie, nodded in agreement.

Vaggie was about to retaliate when she felt Charlie trying to pull her down. “No.” The demon princess spoke softly. “It’s not their fault. I get where they’re coming from.” Charlie sighed and flattened her back against the steel wall. “You all deserve to know a little more about me anyway.”

She didn’t remember much from the moments before she and her family woke. Charlie’s head spun around in a daze, trying to recollect what consciousness she had. The demon princess was young at this time, only 6 years old to be precise. She was still living with her mother, Lilith, and her father, Lucifer.

Charlie could feel the rusty legs of the chair scraping at her legs whenever she moved. Her arms were bound to the back and her mouth had been covered in tape.

She looked around the cold and dark room. Her vision blurred. They only two things that she could make out were two white figures sitting on each side of her. They were her parents.

Charlie’s father to her left and her mother to the right. They were both bound and gagged in the same manner that she was. Charlie could hear soft grumbling and mumbles coming from them.

“Well look who’s finally awake?” A sickening voice snickered. “Aren’t we glad to see you?” Charlie’s vision finally cleared when she looked to see who it was.

It was Adam! The head of the angel exterminators. He was also accompanied by Lute, the second in command. The sight of the angels sent fear flooding into Charlie’s veins.

“The whole family’s here!” Adam laughed maniacally. His golden body shone brightly on the demons. “I bet you weren’t expecting this, Lucifer!” Charlie spun her head to look at her father.

Lucifer stared at the angel, growing menacingly. “Oh, don’t be so stuck up. After all, you were the one that took something from me.” Adam’s voice sounded like gravel as he swiftly approached Lilith.

“Morning sweetheart.” The angel put a hand on her chin and lifted her head up. “Remember me?” Lilth’s expression read of terror and distress. “Figured you did.” Adam hissed.

Charlie tried screaming for Adam to stop, but all that came out was muffled cries. “Shut it, brat!” Lute shouted and pressed her black spear against Charlie’s throat. Both of her parents shot up in panic at the threat.

“Now.” Adam floated back to the center of the room. “Let’s make this short and sweet.” He chuckled. “You see Lucifer, you have something that belongs to me and all I’m trying to do is take it back.”

Adam turned to look at Lilith. “And you know all about it, don’t you sweetheart?” Both Charlie and Lucifer turned to her. Lilith’s head hung low. Tears were flowing from her eyes. She couldn’t bring herself to face them.

“You thought you could escape from me. Yet you were made for me!” Adam hissed at Lilith. “Do you realize what you did to me!”

Adam flew over to the demon queen and grappled onto the chair. Lilith shot up, terrified of the angel. “They took a rib from me, you bitch! All so I could have that fake ass whore, Eve.!”

“Boss!” Lute called out, still holding the spear to Charlie’s neck. “What?!” Adam hissed. “We don’t have much time before the portal closes up.” The golden angel looked up at the clock. Eleven forty-nine it read. “Ah, you’re right.”

Adam flew back to the middle of the room. “Anyways.” He began. “You see Lute over there?” The angel said, pointing to the other angel. “If you don’t give me what I want, your daughter’s head will become my next trophy.” Adam chuckled menacingly.

Lucifer and Lilith both started yelling through the tape. Charlie couldn’t help, but sob out of fear.“Ah ah ah. Remember, this decision has to be quick. Time’s almost up.” Adam snarled.

The king and queen both looked at each other. Lucifer couldn’t bear to see his wife go, but Lilith would rather die than give up her daughter. They exchanged the fear in their eyes before Lilith put her head down in sorrow. Lucifer’s horror gripped his face and once again tried yelling through the tape.

“Is that a yes then?” Adam snickered. Lilith nodded her head reluctantly. Adam laughed. “That’s great! Lute, undo her restraints.” The white angel did as she was told. She untied the rope around her wrists and ripped off the tape.

Charlie’s tears flooded her eyes. She couldn’t believe that her mom was being taken from her. Lucifer simply hung his head and cried silently to himself.

“Come on, dear. We don’t have all day.” Lute shoved Lilith closer to Adam, so that the angel could grab her. “Can I at least kiss them goodbye?” Lilith whispered. Adam growled, “Fine.”

The demon queen walked to her husband. “Look at me, honey.” Lucifer looked up to face his wife. Lilith gently kissed Lucifer’s taped up mouth. “I’m so sorry.” She choked.

Lilith walked over to Charlie and knelt down in front of her. “I wish that this didn’t have to happen, but I want you to know that I will always love you.” Charlie nodded, still sobbing. Lilith hugged her daughter tightly and stood up.

“Come on.” Adam hissed. Both he and Lute took the demon queen by the arms. “I hope this teaches you a lesson, Lucifer.” Adam chuckled as he opened a portal to heaven.

The two angels took Lilith into the portal. “I’m pretty sure one of your minions can free you.” Lute snickered as she closed the portal. Then, the two demon were left, broken and alone.

“Two of dad’s Imp servants had to get us out of their restraints.” At this point, Charlie was sobbing into Vaggie’s shoulder. “After that, Dad wouldn’t let me leave the house, until I was eighteen and even then, he still fought to keep me.”

“I’m so sorry, babe.” Vaggie hugged her girlfriend tightly. “You shouldn’t have had to go through that.” The story had captivated everyone in the bunker. They had no idea that the demon princess had to go through such horrific events.

Angel Dust turned to Alastor and gestured to the distraught princess. Alastor understood what Angel has hinting at and nodded in agreement. They both got up and walked over to the couple.

“Looks like you fine folks need some company. Mind if we join ya?” Alastor lightly chuckled. Charlie looked up at them, smiled, and nodded softly. Then, Alastor and Angel Dust sat down next to them.

“Hang on, wait for me!” Nifty skipped towards them and sat on the opposite side. Then everyone turned to Husk and Sir Pentious. Husk crossed his arms and Sir Pentious just gazed at them, unsure.

“Come one you two.” Vaggie growled. “Mm fine.” Husk snarled as he and Sir Pentious made his way towards the bundle. “Thanks guys.” Charlie smiled. “I really needed this.”

“Hey, it’s no problem toots.” Angel Dust smiled. Thus, the Hazbin Hotel crew stuck together and waited out this year’s extermination.

[rjalker]

I think one of the things that made Flatland popular in the Gravity Falls fandom was the fanfic Flat Dreams by Pengychan, it explores the origin of the main antagonist of Gravity Falls as a former inhabitant of Flatland and his relationship with his brother who was born in an uneven shape and its quite a good and moving fanfic. Bill Cipher, being literally just a triangle with a top hat and one eye its not hard to see how people made the connection.

Yeah, I've heard people talking about that one a lot, it makes sense. I know the creator of Gravity Falls said that Bill was from a dimension similar to Flatland in a Q&A at one point.

[thatonethimbo]

OOKAY soo my bday is in 5 days (4th feb) :D and so i would love to ask for a part 2 of the tess story, along with mmmaybee some relationship hcs :) (i don't mind platonic or romantic, i'd be happy with anything!) Also! I hope you're doing well!❤️

(I had to take a break and update my fanfic so it wouldn't be as much of a nag as it was when I was trying to finish it.)

After what happened with Jake, the journey was becoming harder to bear with each obstacle.

There were times when both of you said nothing to each other, mourning the loss of your best friend.

Sure, Jake hadn't been your friend for the longest amount of time compared to your childhood friend but evidently, he had grown on you and Tess with how she reacted to his kidnapping.

It all went downhill from there after you defeated the Fluoruma gym, even with Tess present since she had come to tell you about the location of Team Eclipse's base.

Going forward, the ice around you upon entering the final cavern area chilled your bones, worsening as you spotted Tess confronting a group of Team Eclipse members.

Betrayal. Jake had joined them, now an admin with a neutral face. You had never seen Tess so horrified before.

You had to defeat him, or you'd be forced to join the team.

And only just barely, had you won, your last Pokémon down to a sliver of health.

Jake left with a dismayed look on his face.

Tess was heartbroken.

She let you go ahead with her to Frostveil, both of you walking in silence except for the times you battled with your Pokémon.

The battles did help the issue somewhat, however, you had heard a few talking about the Eclipse airship hovering above the frozen lake.

It wasn't there now, thankfully enough.

----

[FLUFF, AND A LIL' SOMETHING ELSE!]

The sea beyond the sand glittered like hundreds of sapphires in the sunlight, with clear water that was perfect for swimming. You had just exited your house, yawning with a stretch, ready for the day.

Though there was something nagging at the back of your mind, something important it seemed with how persistent the feeling was.

You did your usual daily activities, greeting the beach bums and such, however, your childhood friend wasn't in sight. Did you do something wrong? Was that what you were forgetting? Possibly so.

Not even the lighthouse was occupied. Strange.

It was then that you noticed a small note taped to a pole. Tearing it off, you read it.

MEET BENEATH THE BATTLE PIER.

The message had been typed, instead of handwritten. A small frown settled on your face as you rolled it up, stuffing it into your pocket.

You sauntered down to the beach, a particular bottom part of the pier covered up with surfing boards, and beach bums standing around it. Upon seeing you, they began panicking, settling to acting like there was nothing wrong.

''Excuse me? What's wrong?" You questioned upon approaching them. A dark-skinned woman glanced back at the surfboards, then back at you with an uneasy smile. Others watched on as you rubbed your arms, looking around. ''Please, I must know-''

''Pam, let them in.'' A voice called from within. The woman blinked owlishly before stepping aside and pulling a surfboard to reveal an entrance, or what you could make of one anyway.

Steeling yourself, you stepped in, the entrance closing behind you and shrouding your vision in darkness. Your world spun as you stumbled on uneven sandy ground, a pair of arms grabbing you and steadying you.

''What in the everloving-'' You were interrupted as someone struck a match, a wrinkled face briefly smiling in the flickering light before using it to light something else. A candle.

Multiple candles were lit as well, the rest of the accompanying people that the light showed within the remarkably small space all smiling at you. With Tess standing foremost, behind the cake.

''Go on, make a wish and blow 'em out.'' She softly whispered, the candlelight illuminating her face.

You shut your eyes, thinking of your wish before opening them and taking in a deep breath, blowing out all of the candles except one. Try as you may, the candle refused to be easily blown out.

Even when you thought you had it, the candle reignited itself. While this occurred a few of the others in the space were groaning and one continuously shook their head, muttering something along the lines of: "Not again, Reuben...''

Eventually, someone decided to give you mercy, in the form of Tess' grandfather, who swiped the candle from the cake and buried it in the sand, finally extinguishing the rotten thing.

Another pushed down a surfboard to allow light into the space. Then, you had to cut the cake and shared it with the others. You attempted sneaking out while everyone was busy talking, only to be pulled back in by the arm.

''We forgot! Happy birthday!'' The group cheered, breaking into song.

Tess raised her plate with cake, motioning for you to do the same as the others sang you happy birthday. With a grin, she pretended to make a toast with the plates of cake.

''Happy birthday, to you.'' Tess grinned, finishing her piece of cake as you did the same, placing her plate down to hug you. Eagerly, you hugged her back, smiling as well.

You were happy.

---

💜 [Relationship hcs] Note: 18+ Tess

Friends-to-lovers dynamic, of course.

Sometimes you go over to the other's house, mainly to hang out and build pillow forts, (you were superior in building them, while Tess was superior in destroying them with hardly any effort).

Though when you were finished (and if anyone else was home, at your place either your mother or father and at Tess' grandfather) there would sometimes be something waiting on the counter.

Usually, these consisted of gifts, other times they were just little messages with notes about how long you had until said parent would return.

Now that you were free to explore Roria, Tess brought you along with her, as she usually did.

Favourite place?

The Path of Truth was a place only accessible by using Surf, which you frequently utilised. It also happened to be one of Tess' favourites due to the many Dragon-Type Pokémon that frequented it.

Despite all the skeletons half-buried in the path's dirt, Tess always had at least a small smile while walking through.

It got weird quickly though when one time someone else entered, not anticipating two people in the path's cave.

Long story short, both of you made your escape.

It was then decided that you and Tess would travel all over Roria (while skipping Anthian City for obvious reasons), allowing your Pokémon to sightsee along with you.

Your bond with Tess became stronger during this time, training your Pokémon with hers.

You also happened to know some secret areas that Tess didn't, especially Glistening Grotto and Grove of Dreams, the latter where you made a wish that came true.

That bond... had turned into something more once you realised it.

This was another secret you decided to keep until you were ready.

Home used to be about your house but with Tess, it had become something more, something you didn't want to let go of so easily.

You were admittedly a bit afraid of what her response would be should you tell her.

So you decided to keep quiet about it and enjoy your company with Tess.

Though her confession came rather early when the two of you went through Cragonos Mines and were nearly crushed by a rock falling.

Albeit surprised, you accepted it and became her partner...

You steal each other's food if it happens to be the favourite. Think of two seagulls locked in eternal battle.

Tess likes giving you small gifts she has found from her adventures with you. Some of which you've already seen but expressed interest in especially.

Hugs are more frequent than kisses, if anything, Tess likes being able to hug you whenever, though if you are known to be uncomfortable with people hugging you out of the blue she will ask you prior to the hug should it happen.

Her Salamence is a bit grumpy that you two are together, but doesn't elaborate even when Tess asks them to.

Your parents got into the habit of making your food for when Tess is around as a way to ease you into things.

And when you were old enough on your birthday (or sometime after that), Tess bent down on one knee, holding a small box...

...to reveal a Ring Pop inside!

She was laughing when the real ring was brought forward.

[sibylsleaves]

Ohh any the bear thoughts if you want to share ? Curious what you thought I watched it the day it came out and I still dont know how to feel about it lol

Luca and Marcus reunited that's all that matters to meeeeeeeeee!!!!!! 🫶🫶

No but I was talking about it with my sister & brother-in-law because we watched most of the season together and like. It felt like it should've been a full network television season. like 18-22 episodes. There were so many great episodes but as a season it was just. slow. not a lot happened. we got minimal development on many plotlines. i was awaiting SOME kind of resolution between richie and carmie which did not happen. although i loved all the Richie stuff. He is so special to me. (and i will be honest with you. i am 0.00% invested in Carmie and Claire's relationship so genuinely did not care about that plotline. which was also unresolved.) It felt very much like a half of a season.

Some highlights: the second & third episodes, Tina Begins, Marcus (just in general...my baby boyyyy), the Faks (w/ special guest John Cena???)

the episode with Nat and Donna DID make both me and my sister cry uncontrollably (my sister particularly....who is prone to crying at fiction and also just gave birth to a daughter one year ago). Jamie Lee Curtis is just like on another level in that role. i hope she wins an emmy.

I also did enjoy all the fun cameos by actual real-life culinary greats (i watch so much food/cooking shit so I recognized almost everyone) i especially loved Luca embarrassing the shit out of himself talking to Grant Achatz lol that was very fun. however the majority of the conversation at the table in the finale made me roll my eyes so hard my goddddd they just all sounded so self-important and irritating lmao. BUT. the after party at Syd's place was everything. I want Olivia Colman to dig through my freezer and make me waffles!!!

Overall: some great moments, as a season it felt uneven/unfinished and i feel like that's not really their fault but just the structure of streaming television seasons. alas!!! i am going to go see if there is luca/marcus fanfic. there must be right???

[1d1195]

Okay so this part was SOOO GOOD! I'm literally BUZZING with their reunion! I think it’s just so cute that she has kept so many notebooks about her and Harry even after all this time😭This speaks to the journal obsessed part of me lol and the fact that she thinks he’s moved on is CRAZY but im not surprised since she did get insecure about their relationship(fuck Lauren lol) so I ger her! The detail of the pic on the figure was just so 💔 bc MY MAN WOULD HAVE AND WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF HER😭 oh and that little part about how ‘hope” feels, bestie that was such a beautiful way to explain it! 

also the image of Harry in a fireman uniform… yeah I just know he’s so😵‍💫 is it kind of creepy he knew where she would be? Yeah but like idgaf THEY ARE SOULMATES so I'm choosing to believe that their bond was calling him to go there lol the KITTEN NAME DROP AFTER SO MANY YEARS MY HEART😭 but ugh god the mention of Lauren still being somewhat close to her MAKES ME WANT  TO SCREAM!!!(trust me I love it for the plot) Now I loved their balcony moment and it was nice to see how his instinct was just to take care of her! Oh tell me why I was giggling so hard about everyone’s reaction to Harry sending that text! And you know I love a good jealousrry moment even if it’s small! Though I did love the mention of how each of them mourns the loss of their friendship with her differently and going through a friendship breakup is just as painful! Was so sad for Louis :( BUT OVERALL I LIVED FOR THIS SAM!! So well written and I'm so excited where this story is going to go! Very excited!!! Loved it so much!

Hope you have a lovely and relaxing weekend! Wishing you the best! LOVE YOU!!-💜

I realized I was writing almost entirely from Harry's POV. I try REALLY hard to split the POVs from Harry and my MC. This part was completely uneven even after I added her part, but it just was SO much better from his perspective lol. But I did end up really loving the part I wrote from her POV. I thought the notebooks were a cute touch and I actually am really proud of the candle/hope analogy 😭🙈 sometimes I get an idea in my head and I'm like "It would be so cool if I could come up with something profound right now. Like John Green saying 'slowly, then all at once'." I'm not sure I'll ever get that, but I'll keep trying. But humbly, I do surprise myself with what I come up with solely because I have this moment of clarity where I'm like "Okay, I'm writing Harry Styles fanfic do I need to inform the masses about how I think roses are prickly and wildflowers are strong?" probs not. But it happens I suppose.

Spoiler/not spoiler I'm really looking forward to writing about her finding out that Harry hasn't moved on even a little 🤭 I'm glad you liked the journaling part! Our little writer girly wouldn't do anything less I don't think. I don't know if I knew you were a journal-er! I need to start keeping notes of you on my computer to consult after a year 😭 It would look like this:

has 4 dogs that don't like fireworks

studies psych (and takes way too many classes)

enjoys drag brunches and record stores

Paramore [Wikipedia page biographer?]

journals

enjoys thrifting (and can alter her finds!?)

Anti-Victoria's Secret

has a competent MALE therapist

But anyway 😭 I know you're more than this and I would so add more but it's a good starting point to keep track of things 💕

I probably glossed over the explanation of him just knowing where she was so YES we should assume it's just that soulmate connection that brought him to her. I SWEAR I saw an AI photo of him in a firefighting uniform. I'm also DESPERATELY trying to get on fireman TikTok for inspo and for my own personal gain 👀👀

I know we hate Lauren lol it's so funny what you guys pick up on because I don't even THINK about her at all when I think of this series 😭

I believe so fully that Harry would be the kind of guy that lays his jacket down on a puddle for her to walk across (probs shouldn't have said that, now I gotta come up with another analogy to write 🤣) so I wanted him to just fall right back into being so infatuated with her and taking care of her immediately. I figured I needed a mood lightener and them all worried about Harry was the best I could do on short notice 😅 I like to keep the friends in my stories as mostly minor characters (except for Traditional) mainly because I struggle to sustain prolonged interactions with others (I just want all my couples to live in their own little love bubbles). UGH I wanted to make him more jealous! But I think rationally, he wouldn't be jealous of his friends. Maybe I'll do it for the next part hehehehehe As it is not in my notes above, I believe I recall that you weren't TOTALLY into 1D but Louis was always denoted as the goofball and I think that was a gross underestimation of his emotions (see also the times I've said his lyrics are 👌) ANYWAY

Thank you for attending this week's book club 💕

FINALLY A QUIET WEEKEND 🎉 Hope yours is good too! 💕

xoxo

P.S. In true-Sam fashion, my lack of feedback on this part is making me so sad and feeling like it's an absolute flop. I wish I didn't write so much sometimes because my series tend to start off SO good but fizzle by the end. My one-shots do SO much better. But I want MORE to happen. Maybe I'm just bad at having stories progress? I know, I know, notes aren't everything and summer is a weird time for people and I know with Harry being MIA in real life people are missing him and not writing as much and also not reading as much. But yeah, it's part of why my updates are far between :/

[amitheproblemyes]

WIP - Miss Understanding

Fandom: Stranger Things

Type: female!oc + Byers Family

Name/Nicknames: Rebecca Barclay/Becca/Tech

Face Claim/Actress Claim: Alycia Debnam-Carey

Pronouns: She/Her

Setting: University

Relationships: Platonic, Familial, Romantic??? (Not really), Sexual.

Rating: SFW (Slight mentions of NSFW content)

Trigger Warning: Contains references to PTSD, alcoholic behaviour, domestic abuse, mentions of soft drugs, smutty behaviour, sensitive topics surrounding the queer community, conversion therapy/camps, and religious trauma.

Good tidings, and welcome to my current obsession. This fanfic is heavily oc filled, with minimal interaction with Hawkins characters so if you don’t like it feel free to move on. Rebecca Barclay is a distant relative to the Byers on Lonnie’s side, Rebecca often visits Joyce and the Byers Boys when she can and considers Joyce more of her family than her uncle Lonnie. This fic mainly takes place at an unspecified university and is going to involve my current brain rot directed at @ultimatelytired’s oc/female!reader [Sibling] Stephanie Harrington (Steve).

Note:

Songs: One of these nights - Eagles, Whip It - Devo, Should I Stay or Should I go? - The Clash, Call Me - Blondie

Other oc’s present belong to @unparalleled-slothy (Ricky), @sovereigndiners (Bobby), @floatingbyaimless (Markus), and GigaChad 1 and 2 (Jesper and Matthew) - they don’t have tumblr.

Minor characters belong to my close friends who prefer to go unnamed: Vanessa VanBough, Scarlet Hardonbriar, Nicole Smith, and Cyrus Yount

Her blood ran cold, the sound of a heavy heartbeat reverberating in her ear. Tech felt engrossed in warmth; content, and satisfied with the way the fabric felt against her skin. In mere minutes though, the chill of the morning breeze passed over her sending a shiver down her spine and forcing her awake. As if the weight of the world just came crashing down on her, she let out an exhausted groan, dragging herself to turn on her side not wanting to usher in consciousness. All the ache and pain of last night’s party made her bones feel heavier then usual; that might just be the after affects of falling down a flight of stairs. Before she could even process the dull pang of pain trickling across the side of her stomach, she felt a small foot prod at her back.

“Ugh…” Unfortunately she had to acknowledge her surroundings, uneven breathing and unbearable snoring filled her ears. Maybe if she stayed very still she’d have some peace for a view minutes. A few hurried and heavy knocks interrupted that thought followed by a familiar, and soothing to hear so early in the morning, voice, call out her name. “Rebecca honey, breakfast is on the table. I’m heading out to work, call if anything goes wrong. Oh and Will is at the Wheeler’s so if you could pick him up for me later that’d be such a help!” Oh god she hated that name, slowly she pulled herself to sit up while pushing the small bodies of her sleeping younger siblings off of her and groggily replied.

“Thanks Aunt Joyce,” Tech couldn’t help but yawn in between her words, stretching an arm out with a sigh “I’ll get Will and make dinner so don’t worry about us.” She tried her best to sound cheerful and not just freshly awake “Okay, just be careful- I know Will has his bike and should be safe but I get so worried you know?” Tech could tell that her aunt was going to start ranting about safety again, not that she can really blame her. “What if he falls over and hurts himself? The roads can be so dangerous and uneven-“ Tech went up and opened the door, Joyce cut herself off, faced with a fairly messy, slightly hungover, freshly graduated teen carrying a small boy around 5 years old who was half asleep on her hip.

“You worry too much Aunt Joyce, Will is fine, and I doubt he’d fall over on that bike of his. The kid’s got good balance.” She gave a warm smile despite her condition, Tech could tell her aunt still worried by the way her brows furrowed. The sleepy girl let out a small sigh feeling the other slightly older kid come from behind her and tug on her singlet, a sign that she was hungry “If it makes you feel better I can pick him up in the car.” Tech motioned to the keys lazily thrown onto the bedside table, Joyce agreed that it would be safer. “You’re an angel, bye sweetie.” Joyce pat the smaller boy’s head receiving a tired wave and then leaned down to briefly hug the little girl, planting a kiss on her head for good measure. Pausing as she rose to look at Tech, who wasn’t expecting anything, Joyce cupped her cheek rubbing it with her thumb a couple times for reassurance and then proceeded to run off to work with another quick goodbye. It was brief but nice, she hadn’t received unconditional affection like that in awhile. Tech didn’t want to really risk damaging the car, especially in this backstreet type town, but if it put her aunt at ease then she really didn’t have a choice. Hearing a quiet yawn behind her she scooped up the her younger sister and bounced both of the kids in her arms wrapping them in a tight hug. The children giggled at the act giving a small squeeze back to their elder sister before being placed back onto the ground.

“Alright go eat, then brush your teeth and get changed. Amanda, I’m dropping you off at the Sinclair’s house or?” The small child who’d ran out into the hallway at this point excitedly yelled back “Yup! Can I bring Brutus?” Tech followed after as her younger brother chased Amanda, bulldozing passed her playfully “Brutus is my toy! You can’t have him.” The elder of the three rubbed at the temple of her forehead, regretting ever going out last night. While the kids bickered Jonathan peeked his head out of the kitchen, noticeably as exhausted as Tech “First of all, Brutus is mine. Yes you can take Brutus to the Sinclair’s house. Ray, you’re sleeping over at your friends house for that birthday party so make sure you have everything before we leave.” The two kids frowned as Erica stuck her tongue out mockingly towards Ray before running over to Jonathan and hugging his leg “Jonathan!” She cheered, Tech gave a polite nod to Jonathan as he was jumped by her younger sister nudging Ray to sit down and start eating. Jonathan didn’t even try to fight it, awkwardly patting her head and moving to grab his bag off of the counter, slinging it over his shoulder. “I’m off. You good for lunch or do you want me to come back and make something?” Tech chuckled while Amanda detached herself, shoving at her brother to move over so she could sit down as well.

“Don’t worry about it. You’re working pretty late tonight right?” Jonathan tensed, a worried look crossing his face “You’re just like your mom, Ray and Amanda are staying with their friends for a couple days and I can make do. We’ll be fine, now shoo before your boss gets all antsy.” Jonathan couldn’t argue with her, shrugging off his unease and waving goodbye as he rushed off to work as well. The empty corridors of the shabby little house felt almost familiar, the trio of siblings were much more comfortable with the lack of light - they were a weird bunch for sure.

_________

The Band

Bobby, Markus, Jasper, Matthew, Ricky

“Straight back, no one likes a slouch. No fast-foods, no parties, no drinking, no smoking, no fraternising, and no associating with those low-lives that you’re so fond of.” That stern gaze burned into the back of her head as shoulders stiffed and her chin raised, the click of her mothers tongue and tap of her heels as she approached felt like a punch to the gut. “I don’t want to hear about any trouble from the church, do not cause a scene. You have a reputation to uphold, a name, expectations to meet. The only thing I ever want to hear come from you or your professors is how well you’re doing and when you graduate.” The venom in her voice sunk into Rebecca’s skin like poison, weakening her composure with every word. “If you’re dying, call the family physician. If you’re in danger call for personal security. I don’t want to hear a word from you. You’re an adult now, do not call me, do not write to me, do not even think of me as someone you can rely on.” A flash of disgust rested in her mother’s dead eyes, that familiar sneer growing deeper with age. “I am free of you finally, but don’t think just because I am not there you can go around whoring yourself out like the useless, good for nothing, slut I know you are. This phase of yours is over. You will listen to your fellow sisters in christ when they tell you to do something, you will attend bible study, prayer sessions and church every Sunday. You will be obedient, diligent, and smart. If you miss any of your appointments, behave unruly, or commit any sin, I will know, and I will fly down there and rip you from that university and send you back to that camp.”

The memory stung freshly in her mind but she didn’t let the fear that saturated it seep into how she presented herself. Back straight, head held high with a fake smile to greet passing students. Flanking her Vanessa and Nicole wore similar grins on their pretty, fragile faces. Her mother’s hound’s kept close at all times, the entire drive here they gossiped endlessly about the amount of debauchery plaguing their city. Their city? Tech thought to herself with an almost sneer on her blessed lips. Her pace quickened as she entered the halls of Hardonbriar University. Posters filled the walls as fresh high-school graduates and returning students saunter past, in the crowd she manages to slip away from Vanessa and Nicole’s sight, rubbing the slight nervousness of her cramping fingers over her thighs. They’d report back to her mother of this misbehaviour but Tech couldn’t care less right now. The first semester of University was in full swing, because of her mother’s controlling behaviour and her father’s lack of presence she had to wait a whole month before starting, behind everyone else. Thankfully, Tech had taken summer classes to speed up the process of acquiring her degree, the streaks of blonde in her naturally honey brown hair shone against the dim light of half empty stairways. Quickly she manoeuvred through the corridors, up two flights of stairs and passed unoccupied club rooms. At last she came to a careful stop in front of a door that matched the other 50 doors hiding club rooms that were barely ever used. But this one was in use. The sound of thumping bass and screeching voices leak through the crack of the door. Braving the month long isolation was easy, dealing with her mother’s constant judgement was child’s play, but facing her friends after two months of silence felt daunting. Her hand raised slightly against her will as she shoved the door open, slipping in as slickly as she could.

Bobby wore a condescending smirk as he saw who entered the music room, the rest of the band continued to jam out unaware, they were mostly just free-styling a rendition of Whip It by Devo. Bobby made eye contact with their lead guitarist Markus, nodding his head over to Tech who’d perched herself against the door frame. Markus’ face lit up, they were close to finishing the song so he continued playing, winking at Tech which made the girl smile in earnest. Jesper and Matthew were singing their lungs out, which was impressive considering how little energy this song usually has. That was odd though, Jesper was always on bass but Matthew wasn’t playing anything this time, usually he’d cover drums- It took Tech much longer than it should have for her to realise there was someone she didn’t recognise on the drums. Her attention snapped to the girl on the drums, wait a girl? Well if she wasn’t surprised before she was surprised now. She curiously looked over the girl, she was attractive, like really really attractive. Her fingers were long and thin, calloused fingertips and soft palms, her veins bulging from the adrenaline. Shit. Don’t think about it, don’t think about the way her skin glistens from the sweat dripping down the nape of her neck- don’t stare at the ink lining her body. She’s fit. Tech raised her gaze to meet the other girl’s greyish blue eyes, that look of pure rage? sadness? whatever shitty emotion that was, it gave her a chill. Realising the song finished Tech started clapping, choosing not to dwell on the curious look in the stranger’s face. Markus quickly flicked his guitar behind his back rushing to hug Tech, hooking his arms under her armpits and lifting her just a few inches above the ground. Jasper and Matthew now knowing she was there joined to huddle Tech, crowding as her feet landed against carpeted floor once more.

“You’re here!” Markus exclaimed excitedly at his childhood friend, pulling back to look her up and down. There was care in his tone, a concern underneath it. Matthew celebrated by ruffling her hair up, which she was admittedly a bit happy about “What took you so long? You holding out on us Barclay.” She scoffed shoving him off of her as Jasper snickered, and gave her a small squeeze on the shoulder.

“Ha ha- don’t call me that you twat.” Tech wore a pleased grin as she punched Matthew in the arm, combing a hand through her hair to fix it up, Jasper nudged Matthew who let out an ‘ow’ and faked being in pain. She rolled her eyes at his theatric display, his dramatic personality hadn’t changed. Markus slung his arm around Tech’s shoulder as she pushed past the other two band mates - as if to create a space for herself, re-solidifying her position in this rag tag group of adults? dam that was weird to think about “So what’s with the outfit, you’re really selling that holier than thou statement.” Tech brushed him off turning to face the three boys, crossing her arms, frowning at the baby blue blouse’s long sleeves. Markus skipped around them patting Tech’s shoulder as he did so, going to fasten his guitar safely onto its stand. “Not that I’m not into it.” Markus put his arms up in defence, a devious attitude playing on his furrowed brows. “If any of those girls from your church ever feel like being a little rebellious you know I’m your man.” He tugged on his leather jacket’s collar, flicking it up in an attempt to act cool. Failing miserably as Matthew mocked his motion, Bobby shaking his head feeling himself internally cringe.

Que Jasper leaning against Tech, both looking at each other and gagging at Markus’ attempt. The four began laughing when Markus ears pricked a soft rosy red in embarassement, Bobby put his guitar down and joined the welcome party. Giving Tech a big bear hug from behind, she yelped feeling herself get lifted off of the ground again, not expecting the hug- and not expecting to be hovering. All the while the new girl spun the drum sticks around in her hands not really caring about the disturbance, she minded her own business, staring at the group while humming a tune. As if there weren’t already enough people here, the door abruptly swung open, Tech turned to see who it was before being pounced on, once again. This time it was a lighter frame, she caught the stranger? no, she caught the familiar figure easily, in anticipation she had winced her eyes closed but Tech felt her hands rest comfortably on their back. Opening her eyes slowly she heard a small squeal and immediately recognised the feeling of a small kiss being placed on her cheek.

“Ricky!”

The shorter girl stepped back making a salute motion with her left hand, her right arm tucked behind Tech’s back “Becca!” her call made Tech’s heart melt, Ricky wrapped her left arm back around Tech, clasping her hands together in a loose hold “You’re here. Like really here!” The boys joked around in the background about the nickname Ricky affectionately called Tech, the new university student kept her arms around Ricky, covering the girl’s ears while glaring at the boys. “Shut the fuck up!” Tech hissed out as Ricky blinked with blissful ignorance. Lastly, Tech acknowledged the new presence in the room, she’d heard about a new drummer - but wasn’t their name Stephen? Maybe she was wrong, or Matthew got their name wrong again “New member?” Tech questioned as Markus sat down on the ground, Bobby nodded leaning against the arm of the couch, Matthew walked over to the new face and grinned. Tech had seen the poster thrown shabbily together outside glued to the door, in truth it looked like a child made the poster as a practical joke.

“Meet Stephen, our new drummer.” So she wasn’t wrong about the name, her questioning look faded as Ricky ran over to Stephen’s side “The crowd loves her! She can play almost anything so she can be back-up if one of the boys break an arm… again.” Ricky narrowed her eyes on Jasper who looked off refusing to make eye contact. Tech shrugged, laughing off the comment from Ricky, walking over towards Stephen she held a hand out to shake. Pausing momentarily as her eyes fully wafted over the girl, a recognition struck her, up close she looked so familiar, too familiar, oh fuck- then it clicked as parted lips spoke without warning.

“Pleasure to meet yah, I’ve heard a lot about you. You can call me Tech.” Stephen raised a brow, the edge of her mouth tugging up as she took Tech’s hand, noticing the realisation washing over Tech’s face. Tech noticed the smugness in her attitude, a complete shift from her initial look at the girl, and then she felt a tight grip. “Stephen, Stephen Harrington. The pleasure’s mine.” her voice was suspiciously nice, and again that grip was something else. Tech went ahead and clapped her hands together. So, she was right, this girl was a Harrington. Not just any Harrington but the fallen princess herself, Stephanie Harrington. It was Stephen now, Tech guessed as a light scoff escaped her. All that reverberated in her mind was danger. This girl was dangerous, her piercings, her attitude, her reputation - everything about her was dangerous. Tactfully the concerned girl stepped back, trying to pass off the spike in her nerves as nothing more than a fleeting moment of new-people-nervousness.

Scolding tears pricked the corners of her eyes, desperately clinging to a single breath. Back straight. Brown curls neatly pressed themselves into a short slick-style, fashionable, wrinkled skin churned as the wicked woman paced back and forth, cigarette in hand. “That Markus boy will be there, I might dislike him but his parents are good people, so you are permitted to speak to him. You will be with Vanessa and Nicole when on campus, they are good christian girls. Pure girls. You will not speak to that hippie trash, that communist hussy is a terrible influence on you. And lastly, do not associate yourself with Stephanie Harrington, I heard she’ll be attending as well - that freak of nature should be put down but her parents are too distracted with their ‘Golden Child’ to even care about how she affects others. Truly unsightly.”

She’d broken one of the only rules she intended on following within the first hour of her being at university. Thankfully, she shook of her jailers before she made her way here, the moment the two girls laid eyes on this group, especially Stephen Harrington, they’d pray for her and immediately go running to snitch. “Great now let me get out of these stuffy clothes and into something more comfortable.” Markus and Ricky gave each other a knowing look before bumping fists, Tech felt threatened for some reason.

“Hehehehe we have something perfect for you.” Ah she was right to feel threatened. In the blink of an eye Tech was dragged into a side room for storage, the sound of crashing boxes and falling hangers sounded through the air. Bobby laughed tapping his foot patiently, Jesper and Matthew stood near Stephen, the three exchanging theories of what their doing.

——————— Confrontation

The party was loud, the music was loud, the food was tasteless and sweet, the house was a mess. Unruly, ungodly, chaos. Her parents were going to be pissed if they found out, how she wished they would find out. That wasn’t what she was concerned about right now, what was nagging her right now was the same thing that’d been annoying her for the past couple months. Her. She could hear Stephen crack a laugh from where she stood, leaned against the wall in the crowded hallway, head placed against the wall she took in a sharp breath as she watched Stephen. Why was she so tormented over this stupid girl? They weren’t even that close, they were friends sure, they were band mates meh, so why was she so focused on her. Tech couldn’t help but swallow hard, this was dumb she should just enjoy the party. As she pushed off of the wall she saw a girl sit beside Stephen, what the fuck. One of the band’s usual fans, she recognised her, maybe they’d slept together but she was too drunk to register the face. What she could register was the unknown girl’s hand on Stephen’s knee, and Stephen’s intrigue in the girl. Tech is a lot of things, but impulsive is not one. She gritted her teeth watching as the two got closer, Tech tried to focus on the drink in her hand - unfortunately for her it ran empty. Tech clicked her tongue and pushed passed the parade of horny young adults making out in the hallway, going into the kitchen to top up her cup.

Oh the way she hated having an open kitchen layout right now, she was closer to Stephen and the others in the lounge now. Which just made the sight of Stephen and mystery girl piss her off even more, now the unknown girl was basically on top of Stephen, who didn’t mind at all. The two were deep in their own conversation, it didn’t even take a few minutes for the mystery girl to start kissing Stephen. Stephen replied in kind, her hands moving to the girl’s waist, pulling her forward a bit more. The girl lifted her leg to move into onto the couch, her knee planted in a way that let her hover over Stephen’s left thigh. Tech felt her cheeks flush as she downed a shot of tequila, snatching the bottle of unopened vodka and cracking it open. No one paid her any attention, which she appreciated right now, her eyes were glued to the scene. Why was she so mad, why was this feeling in her stomach getting worse and worse. Stephen smirked as the kiss intensified, the other girl got needier, humming in pleasure as she grabbed at the collar of Stephen’s shirt. Tech was well aware of Stephen’s reputation, so why wouldn’t she just sleep with her, that ‘she doesn’t sleep with band mates’ rule she is annoying as shit. She’d respect her wishes, it doesn’t take away the feeling of wanting her though. Fuck. Tech couldn’t handle watching this scene. Stephen opened her eyes slowly, seductively even, she raised one of her hands to the girls face, gently holding her cheek and pulling away for a moment. Her counter part was breathless, eye’s still closed as she inhaled.

“Good girl, breathe.” The girl was slightly drunk but very clearly in her right mind, the girl nodded obediently, Stephen moved her index finger to raise the girl’s chin. Tech was still staring, her intentions and intense jealousy burning in her eyes, Stephen’s gaze moved over to Tech. The smirk on her drunken lips grew wider as she pulled the strangr back in for a kiss, moving her hand back to her hip and fully pulling the girl onto her thigh, her knee was dangerously close to Stephen’s inner thigh. All the while she maintained eye contact with Tech, now she was being petty. Tech couldn’t handle her gaze while this drunk. Another fan came up from behind Tech placing his hands on her shoulders. Stephen closed her eyes and returned to her own fun. Tech looked over her shoulder and recognised one of her usual flings, he asked if she was okay and offered her water. Tech coughed to clear her throat, taking the cup with a small smile.

“Thanks, I just need to sober up. Have a charity thing to go to tomorrow.” she complained after a sip, the fan laughed and patted her shoulder “Maybe you need a distraction.” He gave a suggestive look running his fingers down her arm, she’d usually be inclined, but this was just bad timing. “And let the rest of you drunkards fuck up my place again? Not tonight babe.” A disgruntled expression twisted on his face as he frustratedly walked off. How gentlemanly. Time passed and people started sectioning themselves off into rooms, Tech had sobered up a bit but was still tipsy. Regardless, she’d better start cleaning now to make it easier for her hung over self in the morning. Markus was passed out on the couch, while Jesper and Matthew were off with their new flings in one of the guest bedrooms. Bobby opted to drive Markus home since he hadn’t gotten drunk like the rest of them. Tech thanked whatever god allowed her to be ignorant of where Stephen was. Still Tech hoped that everyone was okay, and being decent human beings. Tech grabbed a rubbish bag and started getting to work, collecting empty cups and plates, shoving whatever left over weed or oxy someone snorted into the bag. Whilst a bit dizzy she could still feel the small Jesus statue placed on the mantle of the fire place staring at her. She’d repent tomorrow. Tech motioned a cross sign over her chest before tying and throwing the first bag out of the side door near the pool. Then the smell of vomit hit her like a truck, that’s not good. She felt her stomach wrench in disgust, covering her mouth as she placed her arm on her abdomen. No not now, not in the house shit. Tech felt nauseated as she stumbled over the knocked down furniture, passed the hallway of moans and groans, pushing what she hoped was the bathroom door open. The sight of the toilet never felt more like a blessing than right now, crashing down onto the ground over the bowl she gagged and began to throw up violently. Reminder, never to do drugs and drink alcohol, especially before a charity ball, her hair kept getting in her way as she swayed over the toilet seat head hung low.

Disappointing. Tech reached up to flush the toilet messily clinging to the side of it, her legs wouldn’t move, her head felt like it was on fire and her breath felt toxic. Tomorrows hang over was going to kill her.

woooow Tech is DOWN BAD bro

We’re compartmentalising again guys T^T

Stephen should just shag Tech at this point.

that was so not-eloquent of you

—————

Fuck Caution

1st person POV - Tech (I may have gotten distracted - Sash)

My arm slammed against the wall; now pinned above my head as she grabbed my face with an aggression that felt almost tender. Almost. “Wow, you really do want me.” Her eye’s blazed with lust, a condescending smirk painted onto her flushed face. Inches between us couldn’t feel any more agonising than the well-maintained distance I’d cultivated up until now. Stephanie brought her face closer, whispering against my bared teeth “And you hate it.” Heat crawled up my neck and spread through my cheeks, I prayed that my depravity didn’t show, that my scowl could redirect her from my avoidant eyes. I was wrong. Without warning she tugs my head roughly to the side, so I can catch her intense gaze search my face for any sign that I didn’t want her, that I didn’t crave her attention, that I didn’t want so badly to be the centre of her attention. Her lips curled more cunningly upward as I finally met her stare, finally digging out the glint of desperation hidden purposefully behind walls of disdain. I hate her. I hate the way her hand releases my chin moving to pull at my waist roughly while she leans in and kisses my neck feverishly. I hate the way she murmurs against my skin in intervals. Telling me as she continues to chew on my skin, smoothing her teeth against my collarbone. “Tell me you hate me, tell me that this is awful. Tell me you don’t want me, and I’ll stop. Tell me if I’m being too rough, and I’ll be gentler. Push me away even a little. And I’ll let go.” I can’t utter a word. “Tell me how much you hate me.” I hate how my free hand grabs at her shirt in an attempt to steady myself, to pull her closer. I hate her. I want her and I hate it. My eyes lull half-lidded as my head leans back to rest on the wall, struggling against the depraved sound climbing up my throat. As if my squirming and lowered hums encouraged Stephanie’s brutality against my shoulders, her arm releases my own, completely wrapping her arms under my own and swiftly moving her head down my chest. Somewhere between her kisses and my bitting down my lip she’d removed my blouse. Everything from the heat of her calloused hands to the way she pulled me along into the nearest bedroom and led me onto the bed ignited the longing within my stomach. I can feel the smile she bears as she nips at my ear, hands cupping and kneading my breasts playfully. The sounds I make are embarrassing, I’m vulnerable against her ravaging. One hand slips down under my shorts, and I lose all sense of control. I press and pull at her skin, scratch at her back hard enough to draw blood. I reciprocate hungrily. Stephanie revels in the debauchery of it all. She enjoys my heaving cries as I bite her shoulder, the way she whispers contently about everything broken about this situation. My tongue lapses as I choke out the words that we throw around so casually. “I hate you.” The tone in my voice is pleading as her eyes keep on my own, the way she had been the entire time. Focused on me. Only me. She slows and my arms swing around her neck leaning forward as if to chase her, as if she’d run as soon as I let her. Our lips crash and she moves her hand from my inner thigh onto my ass to shift my weight so I am no longer on my back but now atop her lap. I’m greedily drinking her in like I have the right. Before my eyes shut I see her eyes darken, a ravenous glow. “I hate you.” The phrase is repeated so many times it feels like an incantation. Because I do hate her, I want her and she doesn’t like me. She doesn’t want me. Stephanie knows she has me, she knows how much I pine for her but doesn’t care, even if I want to convince myself that some part of her needs me just as desperately as I need her. At least for tonight I can convince myself that I am hers, for tonight I can be selfishly in love with her up close. I forget the teasing, I forget the attempts at pissing me off, I forget the way she belittles me with how she tramples over my feelings. Fuck it.

By the end of the night my lips are bruised, a shiny purplish blue blooms in small patches scattered indistinctly on my skin and my back aches with a dull pain. The smell of sweat and sex linger even after we both take a shower. Separately, of course. Honestly as I crawl tiredly back into the bed I am surprised that she remains in there, drifting to sleep quickly. Not quick enough for her to not reach an arm out and sprawl it over me. There is a kindness in her touch as her eyes remain shut, it’s an inviting act that I hesitantly and shakily accept by shifting closer. As my heavy mind begins to descend into dreamless sleep I think I hear her whisper an apology for being so rough. The morning arrives far too quickly, my head pounds with unease as I quirk open my eyes. I feel like throwing up and everything in my body hurts. I’m clean at least. Soon enough I’m dressed before the sun rises, I glance at the bed where Stephanie stays sleeping on her side, I carefully reach a hand out, wincing as I realise how hard she’d gripped my wrists. It doesn’t stop me from combing tuffs of her hair out of her face. Stephanie was horny and tipsy. That’s all it was, later she’ll joke about my whining and whimpering, if she even remembers last night, later she’ll return to her smug self. Without a second thought I place a faint kiss on her head and leave the room. I can’t hate her anymore. The empty halls feel suffocating, every muscle in my body screams at me, but I don’t care and push myself to reach the kitchen down the hall and start preparing breakfast. Markus had slumped against the couch with his one night stand nuzzled against his bare chest. Relief washes over me, at least they’re both wearing their pants. The kitchen is filled with every conceivable ingredient that I could think of when shopping yesterday before the party. Nervously I wrap my hair in a low ponytail as I glance out of the large sliding glass doors out onto the dawn that greets us much quicker than I’d like. Bobby and Ricky will be up soon, Markus will no doubt sleep until someone drags him out of bed. Jesper will wake up just before breakfast is ready and take too long in the shower, Matthew on the other hand should be outside already on his run. Stephanie will wake up before Jesper and some time after Ricky. With that internal list I begin preparing and cooking breakfast: sausages, bacon, and ham are a must. Pancakes and mini waffles paired with scrambled eggs and toast, mushrooms and grilled cabbage soaked in soy sauce as well. It is taxing and labouring, but it’s worth it. My nerves steel themselves as they fight my impulsive thoughts, I return to the room one last time to leave her water and some pain killers. The food is prepared by the time Jesper and Matthew are arguing about shower rights and Markus is waving off his lover of the day with Ricky tidying the lounge. Bobby helps me set the table and finish plating the food, after we’ve done our part he hugs me gently. I can still feel the bruises ache. I see Ricky rush off towards the last guest room after confusedly spinning around to see everyone. She’s going to check on Stephanie. A pit in my chest squeezes at my heart, I shove it down hard, like I always do. I greet everyone with a sly grin, a slightly annoyed and amused attitude and sit down so we can all eat. And when Ricky waltzes out with a snickering Stephanie, hands clasped together, my body doesn’t betray me, it doesn’t flinch. I don’t show how much it bothers me. Markus eagerly calls for them to sit down so we can eat. I don’t eat much this morning.

—————

Tipping Point

Ricky’s thumb pressed light, gentle, and slow circles over Tech’s temple as the girl’s head laid snug in Ricky’s lap. “Don’t you think that for once you have the right to choose?” Tech’s eyes remained closed, her breath almost unnoticeable. Minutes passed with not a single sound made from the trio. Instead Markus continued to lean against Ricky’s shoulder gazing ahead at the rest of the Rosebuds who played carelessly near the ocean. Their laughs and giggles echoed loudly, carrying across the sand and green grass finding it’s way towards the three who bathed in it’s infectious warmth. It was comfort, it was theirs. Tech couldn’t help feel like the world was small, that no one else existed outside of their tiny slice of euphoria; the corner of her lips curled upwards feeling Ricky’s snicker bubble up and escape the shorter girl’s brightly painted lips. Markus hummed in tune with their quiet and loud joy fighting the urge to spring up and declare to all possible bystanders that they ruled the world, that they were the bestest, the greatest. And she would agree with him, Tech imagined her deep sigh, the rays of light reflecting off of the ocean to place Markus in the spotlight as he preached, how she would crack under the hilarity of it all and boom with laughter. A laughter that would scare off the poor birds trying to rest, a laughter that would leave her winded gasping for air, a laughter that would consume her and leave her craving it’s pained heaves and sore jaw. Markus didn’t spring up from his comfortable position, he stuck to Ricky’s careful and delicate care, letting the moment be. Tech didn’t burst out laughing, but instead blinked, eyes opening to squint at the abundance of colour and light bombarding her senses. For a second the blond thought she’d gone blind. Well that was until her eyes fixed onto the figures that loomed over her still body, cradling her head with the tenderness of something she’d been without for a long time, something maternal and lovely and sweet and kind and trusting and slow and weightless and… everything she’d been without for a long long time. “If I did have the luxury of choosing. I’d choose this. I think I would always choose this.” Tech observed, green eyes surveying the cheerful, giddy, childlike amusement fill their eyes as the two sappier individuals grappled Tech, pulling her up into an uncoordinated embrace. Not so gracefully the trio stumbled onto the ground, unfurling unto a mess of surprised laughs. Markus sat firmly up first, Tech followed at a less rapid pace, while Ricky turned onto her stomach attached to the earth beneath her like a flower. Their spontaneous outburst sent out like a calling to the other members of their traumatised band of struggling university students. On the breeze that kissed her cheek, Tech heard Bobby quietly point the trio out first as Jesper snakily commented on the PDA. Fast approaching, Matthew and Stephanie competitively passed each other a volleyball they smuggled off of some poor children, progressively getting more and more aggressive with each throw. Tech caught Jesper’s eyes locked onto Matthew with a silent admiration, letting himself smirk as the two charming athletes rushed onwards onto the spot of grass where Tech sat with Ricky who twiddled with a crown of weeds and dandelions. Honestly if the world ended tomorrow, Tech would be okay with it. Markus lunged forward onto Tech’s shoulders, hanging half limply as he murmured something about her being cheesy, making Tech roll her eyes like she always did. The mischievous boy scoffed in retaliation, locking Tech in a headlock as she shoved at him. Instinctively the two began bickering and fighting, like they always did. Jesper collapsed beside Ricky exhausted, prodding at Markus to fight in the other direction cheering him on as they tussled and turned in the dry dirt. Matthew jumped in excitement, inspired into tackling Stephanie, the act backfiring causing yet another tussle. Bobby clapped alongside Jesper and Ricky, catching glimpses of sand flinging through the air.

Unceremoniously the fights ended in exhaustion and breathless cackles, Stephanie was the only one left unscathed amongst the four who were properly scuffed and a mess. Markus had already slumped against Jesper, guitar in hand as he took a minute to hiss at the blooming bruises. Matthew rubbed his abdomen dramatically, grinning at Ricky who pinched their cheeks and kissed their heads, causing the pain to fade and numb. The lecture was light as Ricky decorated the group with flower crowns, placing a small peck on Stephanie’s cheek despite her dominating win and less dramatic wounds. Matthew and Markus whined on about special treatment and favouritism, which Ricky only confirmed with a soft smile choosing to sit in Stephenie’s lap. Jesper gasped over dramatically at the declaration of favouritism, Matthew and Markus gave a wounded expression as Stephanie gently wrapped an arm around Ricky’s shoulders and used the other hand to flip off the boys when Ricky wasn’t looking.

We really aren’t gonna finish this ,_,

did anyone grammar check this??

No.

Enjoy this WIP that Sash refuses to finish guys.

I’m writing for the fruity four leave me be.

Hey, CAN YOU UNTAG KYLE?

…No.

get rekt

- Sash, Syl, Aim, Val, Chad’s

[omni-scient-pan-da]

Actually you know what, vent ramble under the cut because I'm feeling pissy tonight and I know I'll be over it in the morning but I'm going to vent

Phoenix and I have known each other since 2015, and were mostly just acquaintances/friends of friends til October 2023, when we ran into each other at the bus stop in college and spent 10 hours together, talking, eating dinner and then popcorn reading fanfics to one another until it was 2am

We do this twice a week, every week, for about a month, until we end up in a conversation where we're both talking about how hard it is being on the aroacespec and trying to find a relationship and we talk about how both of us just want to be someone's favorite person and it makes me start thinking about how neat it would be if we both just dated each other

A few days after this, Phoenix gets asked out by some guy they know from a club they're in and freaks out about it and I could get into a really dramatic narrative of the whole thing at some point but essentially the night ends with me confessing and getting a sorta confession back and then the next night we talk and end up deciding to remain friends with the possibility of something more

I flirt like... Really heavily apparently for about a month and a half before confessing a second time and we start dating at the end of December and when I tell you I was obsessed with Phoenix, I was OBSESSED with Phoenix

We made each other matching stuffed animals and I'd fall asleep holding mine every night, I wrote them an entire fucking song about how much I liked them, and when we got back to school in January 2024, we were hanging out til 2am like 6 days a week every week for three months straight but in that time we:

Went on two official dates, both of which I initiated

Cancelled our Valentine's Day Date instead of rescheduling because every time I tried to reschedule, Phoenix would say they were busy/not in the mood and instead we'd just... Hang out instead of doing the date activity I had planned for us to do for Valentine's Day?

Never had two sided conversations? Every text conversation we had was because I initiated it, and I never got in depth responses back unless it was about a topic Phoenix was very specifically interested in

Phoenix at one point told me that their love language was physical touch but "was weird about it" and told me to just initiate physical contact but ignore it if they seemed uncomfortable, which... Made me anxious about trying to initiate physical touch to the point where I asked to hold their hand every time I wanted to hold their hand?

And then they laughed (not in a mean way but in a baffled way) every time I asked instead of just taking their hand, even though he often was using his fidget toys when I wanted to hold his hand and didn't want to stop him from fidgeting if that's what he needed to do in that moment???

I tried to have a conversation about how I felt like things were uneven and was met with... Not a good response, and then I got sick with the LITERAL flu and stopped initiating texts and we literally did not see each other for two weeks because *I* stopped initiating 💀

(also worth noting that back in late January, when we had been dating for about a month or so, Phoenix got sick and I was literally running all over town to pick up snacks and cold medicine and food for them and after three months of dating, I got no check in texts while I was sick and only an "Mm" of acknowledgement when I told him about it after the fact)

And that's like... The tip of the iceberg?? There's more I could go into here but that's like the BASIC summary of our four month relationship

And then for me to be SO fucking anxious over the thought of breaking up with Phoenix, I had to talk myself down from throwing up on five separate occasions I was so nervous and to be halfway through breaking up with someone and for them to go "Oh thank God" in the middle of it???

You could have at least waited until I was done??

Or phrased it in a more sensitive way??

When we started dating, I had assumed, based on numerous conversations we had had, that we started dating because she was one of my favorite people, and I was one of hers

But the only time she wanted to see me after TWO WEEKS of not seeing each other (when we were regularly hanging out for like 4+ hours a day 6 days a week) was because she missed what I could do for her, and not actually me myself and...

I dunno, it just sucks, to feel like I put in SO much effort and then not have that level of effort reciprocated in someone that's supposed to care about ME and not just what I can do

And now that I'm seeing May get into a relationship with a guy that's the exact opposite of what she described as he ideal type just upsets me even though I don't have those types of feelings for May anymore because it just reminds me of someone else I poured so much energy into that wasn't returned in the end and it bothers me and...

I dunno, I'll be over it in the morning, but I just think I needed to vent for a bit, if you read it this far thanks for listening, and if this doesn't make any sense, sorry it's like 4am rn, feel free to ask whatever questions about things in the replies, and I'll be happy to explain (I'm nosey AF sometimes so I completely get it lmao)

I don't think anyone's been keeping track but it's been over a month since I posted a #panda pines post about Phoenix, because things just kinda stopped feeling romantic between us? And so today we finally broke up and in the middle of me being like "Hey, I think we'd be better off as frien-"

And BEFORE I CAN EVEN FINISH THE SENTENCE PHOENIX JUST GOES "Oh thank God" IM DYING

(to be clear this was the best possible outcome, I was so anxious about this for so long and I'm so glad that he wasn't actually hurt by this I'm just so taken by surprise that it went easier than expected)

[absentcaryatid]

ATEEZ Reaction to Your Chest Being Uneven

A gender neutral fanfic by AbsentCaryatid

The reader has been hiding from their romantic partner the fact that their chest is more developed on one side than the other. I present one way the members of ATEEZ might react. This is not smut but instead written to be reassuring from someone who has the experience of visible asymmetry and it has never been an issue.

432 words, Content note: some are lightly suggestive but still rated safe for all tumblr using ages

~

Hongjoong would deliver a chaste kiss above each side when you confess your anxiety about being uneven to him. Hongjoong then would promptly fall asleep on your chest and much later wake up, happy to be there no matter how great your disparity.

Seonghwa would insist he is not with you for your body but for your personality. “No matter what, I still I think you are perfect just as you are.” As you stare into his flawless eyes, you understand completely.

Yunho would respect your emotional impact from being lopsided. “I am not going to tell you how to feel about your chest and will support you if you wish to have cosmetic reduction on one side or enlargement on the other. Please know though, that I find your appearance charming. You don't love me any less for my uneven smile and I feel exactly the same way about you.”

Yeosang would be over the moon and have a lot to say. “You are warning me because you are going to let me see your chest? How could I have any complaints about that step in our relationship?” Ever the scientist, Yeosang would also be a researcher and come back to you with facts. “Now that I have read up on the subject, I learned it is common to be asymmetrical. Estimates vary, but one doctor cited 90% of people with developed breasts have at least a 15-20% difference in volume, and truly if your measurement is precise enough nobody is actually identical. A mismatch can happen to any gender if muscles get a regular workout on one side more than the other. The difference may be more noticeable on you than others, but it is very normal and nothing to feel bad about.”

San would pointedly tell you some of his stuffed animals are small and others are large, but they are all equally loved and worth cuddling.

Mingi would have nothing to say if you draw it to his attention, merely joyfully diving back in to shower you with snuggly affection. Despite wanting to be supportive, Mingi would probably never even notice the size difference between sides of your chest.

Woooyoung's delighted and overly loud proclamation that a variety pack is a plus would be overheard by the whole dorm. Then comes the shared laughter as he discovers, “Look at this. I can make my hand look big or small depending which side I hold it over!”

Jongho would be warmly reassuring with the confirmation, “I love everything about you. How could I not love your chest as well?”

~

Masterlist of stories

[three--rings]

Final Kinnporsche Review

So in trying to figure out how to approach writing an actual Kinnporsche review, I ended up having to make a list of positives and negatives because I couldn’t figure out how else to approach it.  I’m also keeping this as non-spoilery as possible.

It’s not a show I can praise wholeheartedly without also tempering it with some criticism.  It’s not a show I recommend without caveats.  It is, however, a show I really have enjoyed watching and which I love in many respects.  I’m going to pretty immediately watch it again, and I watched most episodes twice while it was airing.  Plus I’m planning to read the novel on which it was based.

So obviously, I like it. 

But let’s run through my pros and cons.  Gonna start with the cons and then linger on the pros.  These are all, of course, my opinion and I know some people don’t have the same experience of this show as me which is totally valid.  It really depends where your threshold/attitude is towards certain things in your media and everyone is different.

Negatives:

I spoke about this in my initial post about the show, but early on and occasionally throughout, the show has some cringey and embarrassment-based humor.  Especially in episode 2, which is basically ENTIRELY that.  There are a number of scenes in this show I have watched mostly through my hands because I can’t handle second hand embarrassment. 

The setting/premise of the show is not very believable.  The mafia family with a skyscraper full of young, hot bodyguards and James Bond style tech requires a good amount of suspension of disbelief to buy into.  In general the plot and action scenes require you watch with a lot of suspension of disbelief.  This isn’t realistic drama TV, it’s fanfic level mafia AU that runs entirely on Rule of Cool.

The way the plot is handled/shot/edited/written is uneven and has some very sloppy moments.  Some episodes are perfect and tight and others are a hot mess IMO.  There’s a lot of them cutting and you going “wait, what? what happened, where are we, did I miss something?”  Most of the time, the scene you find yourself in is fun and sometimes delightful and therefore you don’t actually care how you got to it.  But it still...rankles, and shows the inexperience of much of the team behind the show.

I can’t speak very well to how this compares to other BL dramas or Thai dramas, but there’s a good amount of cheesy fan service that shows off the bodies of the actors.  I’m not talking about specifically sex scenes or romance scenes, but everyone having their shirts unbuttoned practically to their waists, removing clothes for little reason, etc.  You get used to it as like...background levels of fan services and certainly the eye candy is very nice but...it could turn some people off (and others on I’m sure).

This is almost a World Without Women, as tends to be a problem with BL content.  This really feels like a world where women somehow don’t exist and most men are just queer by default.  There are a couple of mother figures, literal and figurative, but they are rarely on screen.  It would feel a little less weird if, like, IDK any of the men of the family had a female significant other who wasn’t dead.

There are elements of dubious consent in both the kinnporsche and vegaspete (and actually almost kimchay) ships.  There’s one scene of basically sexual assault that IMO is well-handled in the aftermath, but it IS between two people who go on to be in a relationship/fall in love.  There’s also a lot of violence, on-screen torture, and one ship where one of them tortures the other and keeps him as a prisoner before falling for him.   So...there are elements you could say are problematic and/or toxic.  If you are sensitive to these things/themes you should stay away.  BUT I do think the way all of them is handled is SUPER INTERESTING and appealing to me personally.  I love some redemption narratives and complicated characters and relationships.

Which brings me to the Positives.

One of my general complaints about a lot of BL dramas is that they involve young characters in high school or university.  Kinnporsche is lovely in that regard because the characters/actors are mid-late 20s and the plot is way more interesting that just school drama.

The acting level of this show is EXCELLENT pretty much across the board.  Every once in a while a side character has bad line delivery or a particular scene twigs my bad acting nerve, but overall I’m INCREDIBLY IMPRESSED with the cast.  Especially since this is the first job for some of them.  (I have a Real Problem with bad acting that ties into my embarrassment squick so this is a concern with small productions.)

But really Mile, Apo, Bible, Build...they all fucking killed it and conveyed such a range of content.  But especially the super emotional scenes were so fucking good.  (I’m especially impressed with Apo and Bible...damn.)

The filming is very aesthetic, pleasant, and fun to watch.  Despite the obvious low budget which occasionally shows in things like the rare CGI, the cinematography is impressive.  The show loves to show it off, too, with the colored lighting and camera angles, but it never feels too much and makes it a LOT more visually interesting than pretty much any other BL I’ve seen images of.  (And a lot of regular TV, especially romance-focused shows.)

I started talking above about the complicated characters, and this is where the show SHINES.  The characters feel complex and realistic, and have believable development across the series, which of course the acting level shows off.  But also the relationships have ARCS, really huge amounts of development. 

Kinnporsche especially, since that’s the focus of the show.  It’s really a sorta enemies to lovers situation and there’s a lot of stops along the way, although they really sort themselves out by a little over halfway through the show. 

Vegaspete is the secondary ship and it doesn’t get started until close to the end of the season but they do SO MUCH with a few episodes.  I wish it had had a little more time, but I get why it happened that way.  This is even MORE of enemies to lovers with one of them being a main antagonist to boot.  I was expecting to HATE this ship and they...ended up being possibly my faves.

The third ship is Kim/Chay and it’s a really side story kind of thing.  It doesn’t really get the development of the others but it has cute moments and is more of hints for the future/possibly S2.

But all the pairs have SUPER good chemistry.  Like, wow, okay.  That intimacy coaching worked I guess.

Speaking of which, let’s talk Sex Scenes.  This is going to sound a certain way, but my very favorite thing about this show is the sex scenes.  Because I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen better sex on screen.  Most sex scenes on film are cringey and awkward or uncomfortable looking.  But Kinnporsche manages to make them hot, sexy, beautiful, and also to have a lot of relevance to the characters and the relationships.  The sex scenes are meaningful and tell a story.  They have significance in the overall story.  The emotions on the characters faces is just as important as their bodies or even more so.  These sex scenes feel ACTUALLY INTIMATE and that’s VERY RARE.

And they are super explicit.  The extended version of the show is 21+ and yeah...this is definitely adults only content.  But mostly because they don’t shy away from the realities of what is happening.  Like, yeah, you know what sex act is occurring and it’s not all penetration.  I’m going to stop talking about the sex now because I’m probably going to do a post all about that.  I have a lot of feelings about it, as someone very concerned with the portrayal of sex and sex positivity.  But finally the last thing I’ll say is that if you’ve ever wanted to see good fanfic sex scenes on screen, this is the closest thing I’ve ever seen.

The show is very queer.  As I mentioned above, pretty much everyone in the show is casually queer as if that’s just the default.  Now that’s sorta because it’s in weird BL land, but also...something about the representation feels like there have been queer hands on it.  Now, I can’t obviously speak to the sexual or gender identities of anyone involved with the show.  I’m not pointing to anyone in particular with this.  But the way that there’s no homophobia onscreen, the way everyone just accepts “you love who you love”, the way there’s no gay panic, the way there’s a variation of the way gender is presented, with men of a wide range of feminine traits on display, the gnc characters... it’s a thing.

I was originally VERY on guard about the representation in this show, especially when it came to stereotypes, but then the show just sorta kept not doing the stereotypical thing and exceeding my expectations. 

Finally, the show is fun.  The tone bounces all over the damn place enough to give you emotional whiplash, but it’s almost always a fun ride if you just relax and shrug and go along with it.  The entire ensemble will win your heart and make you fond of them and ultimately you just have to root for this crazy, bizarre, unique little show that could.

Where to watch:  As far as I know, right now the only way to watch the show legally is with iQiyi VIP.  There may be some episodes up on YouTube but I think they are only the edited versions?  You want the extended ones, trust me.

However if you cannot access it through official channels for some reason, a quick search will find it elsewhere.  (I include this because usually I get a crapton of comments about how to watch a series.  So please...search engine folks.)