#but it is probably a sign that the thing is probably not obviously objectively bad if you actually read the criticisms

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

Mildly warm take, Tommy does NOT owe his entire career to Dream

Because, YES the dream smp help propel his career as a content creator, but it does not constitute to everything you've done to make himself and his brand better

Did dream write all the jokes? The vlogs? The books? The MCC wins? The friendship formed before and after? The smp's to follow later? Origins? The comedy? Twitch con?

Because if you say That Dream did all of that for Tommy then I'm going to assume Dream Is Crawling into his skin and piloting his body

Saying dream owns Tommy's as well as other people's careers, is like saying that if I were to bake a cake it wouldn't be my cake it would be the person who made the ingredients. I still baked the cake, put the ingredients together, bought them, got the recipe and just because I didn't grow the wheat or milk the cow it doesn't make it not my cake.

The smp did objectively help his career there is no fault in that and even Tommy acknowledges it, but you can't attribute every single thing that he does now to Dream.

And you can also argue that dream was a bad person, because he was. Regardless of allegations and other people's experiences, dream intentionally seeked out a 14 year old streamer, made him sign a legal contract, took every single bit of credit, got into fights with him on a regular basis, a made him feel so bad you will slamming his head against the desk.

That's not normal. None of that's normal.

And then in an alternative perspective dream didn't do us much for the smp as he claims. The only things he did was bring the content creators together, start the server, and play as his own character.

I do not get me wrong there is credit in that and he did do those things that allow the server to operate, but those with the only things he did.

Wilbur (as much as we hate him) wrote the scripts, and alot of Tommy lore. Will stopped writing the Script after he died canonically, and then later came back because in his own words " lI had to write myself back into the narrative [...] I didn't like where it was going. Not to see dream is a bad writer, but we had different ideas". That's him putting it nicely, the worst bit for the smp realistically was when dream was writing the lore.

And I'm not saying that it was bad but what I am saying is that the majority of people found it bad, so bad in fact that they had to bring Will back.

Dream did not write his own story.

And to the other content creators, on the server they will their own lore. And they acted it out themselves, dream was no part of that yet they still had to sign contracts because it was still on the physical server.

Ranboo and Technoblade in particular had some of the best story writing and telling, and they did it all themselves.

But there's only one thing in common, that makes sense but I think we all missed, dream was in every single person story or had planned to be. And I get it it's his server but on the other hand they could have had amazing stories without his input. Ranboo could have replaced Dream with a mysterious unknown character in his lore, and the outcome and affect would have been the same story-wise. Dream didn't need to be Puffy's son, but he was. Technoblade and Philza could have skip to the side plot of saving dream and instead it needed to return a favour to someone else.

The storytelling within the server is a amazing but if you subtract dream and put someone in his place it's still would have been the same story. It's like he was made to be sandwich in everyone's story. And yes he was a great character in most stories, but in others he was unnecessary.

Put with the overall fact that he had to be in every single story obviously ties back to the server being his, but it's also a reflection of his own ego. He probably still to this day believe that every single person has a career because of him and do not because of who they are now. He definitely helped but it's not all him.

And I would say George, Sapnap and Dream, have the same issue with ego. You see the way dream behaves with over people, he dominated people's careers for many years and had it done by fear.

Sapnap, he would swear and curse every single person, to the point where Scott said he was the most difficult person to put on a team because no one wanted to play with him (I have a different post about MCC). There were many offensive and situations in which the pair of them actually ruin the game for a lot of people. If you were not a person who watched MCC back in the day then I can tell you from now they had to change so many rules, Scott had to start making applications because of the amount of times that they would bail or not communicate with him or simply people didn't want to play with him and wanted to avoid him, and due to their obsessive behaviour in needing to the practice the maps so much that when the game was chosen some people didn't even try because they knew who would win.

They're talented don't get me wrong but there is an extent in which that their Talent crosses with ego and makes the whole game unplayable. This is without mentioning the amount of people who were scared to play with this team or against this team. No one had a fun.

And even in the smp, some people purposely avoided Sapnap, because he didn't know how to manage himself.

And George you could argue also has a large ego because of the people he surrounds himself by and he's a success. He is an objectively/ conventionally attractive male, and there have been many instances including in recent times and in certain develop it situations that he used it to his advantage. He doesn't behave his age and he treats people cruelly.

And most importantly, the fans. Yes YOU. You heavily contributed to the success of the server and to the success of the creators. But the level of obsession people would have regarding these content creators is something that will always baffle me.

And alot of people asked them to speak out, especially Dream. And he didn't. Dream actually encouraged his audience by selling sketchy merchandise and a USB stick with his baby pictures on it. He enables his radical audience because they are what keeps him going. Realistically without the radical side of his audience he would not be as successful and financially well off as he is now.

Additionally those people attack literally anyone that set something bad about him, and at first he tried to downplay it, then he assured people he would manage it and tell them to start, but then along the way he must have realized that these people a Ride or Die for him and that if he drives away these people he drives away a lot of money, free advertisement and a defense system against his brand- and I say this because these people would defend him in any circumstance

So then he doesn't stop them, and now you've got a 19-20s yr old with an unfortunate amount of mental health issues, some people who continue to jab him with needles anytime he's upset.

And it's sad. Is far beyond something that his parents can protect him from, yet he hasn't found the resources to protect himself. He's not happy with himself. He used to be scared to stand with someone successful even though he's successful.

And I'm genuinely proud of how much Tommy has grown. He is and continues to be a dedicated, passionate and nice person regardless of circumstances, he continues to be real with his audience and tries not to waste thier time. And none of that was taught to him by Dream. He taught himself how to be himself. If I see one person saying that he's a clout chaser I'm gonna have to tell you that you're wrong because he's done so much for himself to the point where you can't even count it yet you can count the things dream did for him on a Post-it note.

Tommy did well

[carriesthewind]

.

[nalyra-dreaming]

COMMENTS on 2x04 - SPOILERS ahead, obviously^^

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

God that play is really…. and to see the joy just leave Claudia

And the foreshadowing with her soul leaving her body!!!!!! Holy shit.

Louis’ face mirroring the disillusionment.

Lol, Santiago getting a BJ while getting ready and bitching about the play. 💀

Armand and Louis in Dubai saying different things about that time…

Armand’s notes threw😬 me - and to call her lack of enjoyment of this play after 500 performances sabotage? Definitely a choice.

Ah, I see that is where that Santiago outfit comes in^^ - I would not have expected it to be Claudia there. I so feel for her there, it is so bitter. And Santiago having her back there and challenging Armand (and his relationship with Louis) damn. Also, Louis being so… IDK. Happy to ignore the warning signs now??? Ouch.

The coven going at each other, lol

That discussion “after”. And Louis’ “inner Lestat” commenting on it all - bitter

“Do you notice how hot the room gets”!!!!! FUCK

“I try to find the vulnerability in the object.” DAMN

The laughter. And Louis calling himself out there lmao.

They didn’t like Daniel changing track that’s for sure^^.

Santiago and Claudia 😭 - god I wished. And his warning her… damn.

Oh…. so THAT is where the “tender” comes in. Ouch again.

Madeleine and Claudia

The mimicry at the banquet. Ohhhhh it’s going to go SO BAD

But it’s nice to see that when Louis snaps… he snaps^^. Canon, baby, canon.

I felt so bad for him at the photography evaluation…

The fragility comment re Armand.

The photographs mixed in!!!! Holy shit. What is going on there - has been going on there????

“This is a Stein”. LOL Armand… “Probably Rashid”. Yeah, sure.

The body in the plastic!!!! Oh we are going full horror next episode, aren’t we.

Louis letting his “inner Lestat” criticize him. Aw sweetie. “I end up eating them”…. yeah.

The laughter again. And ”Lestat” mocking Armand as being “barely Balthasar”. 💀 Oh Louis. (I do feel bad for Armand. He wants love so badly.)

Madeleine’s story. One of many I would think. I … liked how they did it.

The Louvre.

“Vintage Lioncourt” - and then his “inner Lestat”!!! That expression, lol. And also the “ha” later… that is interesting.

In sync. “Okay” Argh.

HOLY SHIT! I KNEW THEY WOULD GO FULL IN AND DARK. AND THEY ARE 😵‍💫 OHHHH DAMN.

The coven abandoned by Magnus(??). And “Lestat” shaking his head.” Interesting.

I ALMOST thought we would get a Memnoch-type event!!!!! Damn, I wanted them to go there :))))

Armand threatening Claudia -.- . And letting her know. Talk about making things clear.

The thing about Santiago’s maker again...

Practicing the fire gift I see. Ah yisssss. *rubs hands*

“manipulative gremlin” LOOOOOLLLL LOUIS HOLY SHIT

God that scene with Claudia. Me and you, indeed.

“Bad decisions”. “Love makes you stupid”. “The wilderness that is our daughter”. 😭😭😭😭

Louis trying to say goodbye to Lestat there… heartbreaking. “An elicit couple out for the cheat”. Yeah. No double meaning at all. NONE. Their theme.The initials stitched in. Letting the rain pour down. Summoning Armand. “Mutiny brewing”. 😭 God Louis, why didn’t you just leave. “I used to be real good at running things”. Louis geeeeeeeeezzzzzz you are playing with FIRE. (Yes, I know, foreshadowing.)

And Santiago and the others using that moment to get the evidence they “need”. 💀

“You sure about that, Arun?” “Yes, Maitre.” Ohhhhh fuck. So fucking dangerous. “He is Louis’ creature indeed.” DAMN. Louis dammit you beeeeep Sorry, but honestly, that was… STUPID. You make your only protection look WEAK.

And them arguing in the bedroom. Louis probably having done that himself??!?!!!

Daniel using the time to go through the material - and remember. Oh the FORESHADOWING

And cut.

So in total:

Loved it, lots of very bitter foreshadowing once more. Loved all the little flashback hints. Knowing where the “tender” as a description for them comes from is… 😬. Louis trying to let Lestat go - I KNEW that would be a breakup scene, but I had guessed it would be another one that came later in the book^^, loved this change though. Unfortunately we already know it won’t quite work… Louis deciding to (try to) let Lestat go (which we know won’t work), and trying to take the “bull by its horns”… god. I mean. I get him. But that made my teeth hurt I clenched them so hard because that is literally… like, I said it above, but ARMAND calling HIM “maitre”? When the coven is already plotting? Oh boy. Not good in the long run. Not good.

So yeah. Loved it. So much in it!!!

And... my heart breaks for Armand.

__

And the EPISODE INSIDER. Spelling it out once more: (A gag order definitely dropped away^^)

“Lestat is just ruining Armand’s and Louis’ romantic evenings together.”

“He almost takes on the Lestat role in his relationship with Armand.” 😬

“Louis’ relationship is a response to his relationship with Lestat.” “Armand is a rebound. A rebound that lasts for 70 to 80 years.” 💀

“I think Louis knows he can get away with more.” “Like Armand is maybe a bit of a pushover. He realizes he can manipulate that relationship a little bit more.” (LOOOOOOL JACOB)

“Ghost Lestat [] is also like Louis’ doubts about Armand.” “He tries to accept Armand the way he is.”

“Armand will always see a little bit of Lestat in Louis.” “His paranoia is all encompassing.”(!!!!)

“It’s this really sad aspect of his life.” (indeed.)

And last, but not least:

“But it’s also seeing Louis slip faster with Armand than she had planned.”(!!)

HOLY SHIT. 💀

[blakbonnet]

AUTHOR OF THE WEEK: @adhduck

Please give it up for the nicest and one of the most creative writers in this fandom: Duck! I'm just such a fan because not only does Duck manage to write the softest, gentlest, loveliest Ed and Stede (both together and apart), their fics somehow perpetually keep me looking like 🥹 all the time ough. And they were very very nice about sharing their writing process with me:

What's your writing process like? Do you start with the beginning or the end? Do you write in order or as the scenes come to you?

Mostly it’s the Taika “look at a document for 8 hours and then close the document,” honestly. I’m a very slow writer and lose motivation very easily, so I mostly get by on the muse’s fire hydrant and forcing myself to write those fifty words even when every single one feels so bad.

I go moooostly beginning to end because even though I’m generally an outliner, I always end up with little details that will affect later scenes and I don’t wanna lose continuity or have to rewrite a bunch. However, I do definitely let myself do a [finish this scene later] and move on to the next scene because otherwise I will get really fucking stuck, and sometimes I’ll write a line or a paragraph I thought of that sounds really good and tuck it away for a later scene.

Favourite trope or headcanon you like to explore while writing?

Ooooooooh, I don’t know if this is a trope but there’s just nothing I love more than huge feelings contained in mundane stories, of feelings so big you can’t actually express them and so they’re this constant hum throughout the story. I also love writing about touch for both of them, how Ed gives casual touch to hide the deep well of desire for intimate touch, how Stede is so unused to touch and craves it so deeply. (Can you tell I just really like subtle yet overwhelming emotions? Maybe it’s the aroace in me idk but that shit hits HARD.) Oh, and I love a fuckin’ allegory or object to discuss all those big feelings, whether it’s monsters or gardening or peaches or what the fuck ever (I have used all of these lol).

Whose voice is easier to write - Ed or Stede? Why?

I think Ed’s voice comes to me faster because the way I personally speak is closer to Ed’s voice, but it also means I’m sometimes double-checking myself to make sure I’m still deep in his voice, not my-voice-but-Ed. Stede isn’t necessarily harder for me, I’m just doing all that double-checking to make sure I’m not slipping into Ed voice or, god forbid, Aziraphale-lite voice. So, idk! I love writing them both, the little details of each of their inner dialogues are SO important to me (Ed’s tangents and his pshh-I-don’t-care moments, Stede actively avoiding thinking about things he doesn’t want to face, etc etc etc).

Your personal favourite thing you've written that you'd like more people to read

For the longest time it was There is Love That Doesn’t Have a Place to Rest, mostly because it was posted the day before another fic and, while I find them to be siblings and equal quality,  the other one got way more attention. That fic is about the time between signing the Act of Grace and getting to the academy and I think I really nailed where the two of them are at.

However! (And I know this is cheating okay shh.) Nowadays the one that I wish people read the most is Not Only the Sugar, But the Days. It’s the sequel to my “offscreen 30 year slowburn friends to lovers finally get together” fic and I put my whole fucking heart into it, honestly. The two boys basically go on a bunch of dates to live out the teenage experiences they never got together and work through the biggest feelings and I just! Really want people to see it! (It also can be read as a standalone, which I didn’t advertise super well lol.)

What is the one word that you think you use a lot?

Unfortunately it’s probably “just” or “a little” or filler words like that. Also obviously if the word fuck counts then, yeah, that. Maybe warm? Or something about yearning??? If I have a classic word please tell me I’m fascinated by this idea.

Do you have a beta reader? Have they made you a better writer?

The person who beta’s for basically all my fics is Owen @trans-top-stede and they are sooooo fucking helpful and incredible. So good at catching all the little things I miss, making sex scenes make sense, reminding me positioning in general is a thing, cheerleading me on, etc etc etc. My fics are so much better for their help.

Why OFMD 🥹

Ed and Stede just fit so fucking well into all sorts of AU’s (they try to invent their own AU’s in canon, even) while also having so much fun space to explore within canon. Their range is also perfect perfect perfect for writing fics—they can be in the wells of misery and fluffy as fuck and obnoxiously cheesy and realistic all in the same fic, if you want, and it’s completely accurate to their canon selves. It’s also helped me to embrace being silly and cheesy and earnest because life is about being yourself and finding your people and feeling deeper, feeling bigger, feeling more authentically without fear of being too much. Fuck I just really love these boys. (Also they’re so pretty and the whole crew’s so pretty we WON.)

Please head over to @ofmdlovelyletters (who also made the header) and send your love to all your favourite authors (and authors of the week 😈 watch that blog for some special letters coming your way)

[asses-to-ashes]

Longass post about some problematic aspects of 2000-2010 fandom, and why antis are not the solution for ongoing problems.

When people my age talk about 2000s-2010 fandom, they usually talk about it with rose-colored glasses as if it was the Golden age of fandom. I've done the same thing in some of my posts at times, and I don't necessarily see a problem with it, especially when you're discussing it under the context of the current climate of censorship and community harassment, but it's important to look back at the past objectively. When I say old fandom in this post, just know that I'm referring to 2000 to 2010.

There is a happy medium that needs to be reached between holding people accountable in fandom and avoiding censorship. The "anti" mindset goes way too far and polices how people explore fiction, but Old Fandom had its own problems with extremely poor behavior. In this essay I'm going to be exploring these problems in old fandom, the causes and solutions, why media censorship is never the answer. It's important to recognize and reflect on these things especially for people who weren't around to experience it. History repeats itself when Forgotten.

My point is not, and has never been that old fandom was worse than new fandom. My point is not that old fandom is bad at all. My point here is looking at problems, the solutions that have been made for those problems, and why they don't relate to censoring fiction at all.

I want to reiterate that I know things I'm about to discuss still happen. You do not have to comment. But it's important that we start looking objectively at Old Fandom as a wonderful, accepting but sometimes problematic (real problematic not the way antis nave coopted that word) space.

Keep in mind that this is an opinion piece. While I do provide statistics, I'm not trying to make any objective statements. My experience is probably different than yours. The experiences of my friends and my sources are probably different than yours.

With that in mind, let's get into it. Click read more for the meat of this essay

Cosplay Is Not Consent

Consent and sexual harassment have always been a huge issue within the cosplay community, there have been countless stories of women dealing with unwanted sexual advances such as touching, cat calls, kissing, and groping in convention spaces. At conventions in 2000, consent was never mentioned. With such a severe problem, the Cosplay Is Not Consent movement began.

This has been a notion that has been around for a while, been posted at some small cons as far beck as 2012. but it really only became a popularized sentiment at New York City Comic-Con 2014, where the phrase "Costumes Are Not Consent was posted publicly in the convention apace, along with a clear anti-harassment policy.

Even though research shows that most sexual harassment goes unreported, the amount of sexual harassment reports had more than halved in the first year of the visible anti-harassment signs and movement. The amount of sexual harassment cases at NYCC remained steady at "about a dozen" per year even as the number of attendees has increased from 151,000 in 2014 to more than 200,000 in 2023- A testament to the increased awareness of sexual harassment within fandom, an ongoing movement to protect attendees with anti-harassment policies.

A policy is only as good as the structure set up around that policy. An increasing number of conventions have a policy, display their policy prominently, define harassment, explain consequences, let guests know how to report harassment, and give separate protocols when convention organizers are responsible for abuse.

Now, instead of an unspoken "look the other way" policy, congoers are more likely to notice sexual harassment, come to someone's aid, and speak out. People who harass women are more likely to be kicked out of conventions and sexual harassment is more likely to be reported.

Obviously, sexual harassment and assault is still a huge problem in convention spaces, but with an increase in awareness around the issue, it's not as prominent as before.

Subsection: Yaoi Paddles, Glomping, and dangerous conduct

Reportedly first sold in 2002 at Otakon, yowie paddles are a wooden paddle with the word Yaoi burnt into the paddle end used for spanking people. They were a huge problem at conventions and caused a lot of people to be injured as a result. There were countless stories on forums about people being hit by random passerbys using a yaoi paddle, and people begged for it to be banned.

Glomping Is a running hug action that's a mix between a hug and a pounce. It was very popular in fandom, specifically around 2005 in the anime and furry fandoms. It was mostly younger people doing this and it caused a lot of people to be injured as well. Glopping incidents sometimes even included biting or groping.

Both of these behaviors were considered very poor etiquette, but were still very common in conventions. They were common enough so that even saying the words yaoi paddle or glomp to a cosplayer my age is like activating a sleeper agent. Your life flashes before your very eyes. Obviously I'm being dramatic here but it was very annoying.

Inappropriateness with Actors

In general, poor etiquette around celebrities is still a thing now. I haven't seen etiquette getting any better, so this point is less about a problem with old fandom and more about a current issue that still needs to be addressed. I'm going to be talking about real people, fan fiction and the blurred lines between characters and actors.

I'm not here to debate the ethics of "real people fiction." For those of you who don't know, RPF is a genre of fanfiction that involves real people. These people can be actors, politicians, historical figures, youtubers, really anything like that.

The problem comes from involving real actors in your fiction about them. What I mean by this is sending the actors your explicit fan fiction, or asking them inappropriate sexual questions. This is more of a problem from the early 2000's. While this does still happen now, it was really prolific in the early Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter fandoms.

Actors would frequently be invited to fan sites that had explicit RPF fanfiction. I've seen cases where actors were asked to sign copies of RPF, actors were mailed RPF, and were showed these fanfictions at meetups and conventions.

RPF never died off, and it's still a very popular genre. Between 2016 and 2017, fanfiction about real K-pop stars. Increased 10% on Tumblr. In 2015, Larry Stylinson was the number one ship on Tumblr according to Amanda Brennan, senior content insights manager at Tumblr.

Celebrities have been harassed for not following a fandom script, online shipping has led to the real life harassment of celebrities. For example, Lili Reinhart reported that her castmate was sent death threats because her character was getting in between a popular ship. This happened in 2017 and represents an ongoing problem in fandom.

Nazism and the Anime Boston Incident

I distinctly remember going to conventions when I was younger and seeing Nazi cosplayers walking around sometimes. They could be from Indiana Jones, Captain America, or whatever movie allowed them to wear that.

It wasn't until 2017 when Rose City Comic-Con updated a change to cosplay policy outlawing Nazi cosplayers including satirical or ironic cosplays which use Nazi paraphernalia or gear. Other conventions have also enacted similar cosplay bands in response to incidents such as the hello Kitty SS uniforms (yes, this is real) and cosplays of other fictional Nazis such as old school Hydra and red skull.

The most memorable incident that I distinctly saw on the internet in 2010 was the Hetalia Anime Boston Incident. For those of you who aren't familiar with hetalia, it's a series that came out in 2009 and initially took place in WWII, and each character is the humanization of a country. There is still debate on the characterization, especially regarding the character Germany- Poor guy was the cause of this specific controversy. The Italia fandom had exponential growth since 2009, and at anime Boston 2010, there was an incident regarding a hetalia photo shoot where cosplayers decided to do a Nazi salute as a joke. Even at the time, the sparked controversy on the Hetalia fandom on livejournal which is why I remember this incident so specifically. There were incidents like this beforehand, but this garnered enough attention online so that lots of photographers made it very clear that no Nazi imagery or posing was allowed.

With more restrictive policies and increased awareness, these types of cosplays became a lot less common in the west. The band are usually around Nazi iconography and symbols such as salutes and uniforms. You still see these cosplays today, such as an example from Hong Kong at Ani-com that took place this month, July 2024.

Where do antis fit in here?

I want to make it super clear that none of these major issues that I brought up here have to do with fiction. The points that are related to fiction, such as cosplaying a Nazi character or sending RPF to actors are entirely based on people's conduct in real life.

People never stopped liking characters like Red Skull, people still write about him and draw him. People should be allowed to write about characters like Red Skull and people should be allowed to like him, the issue arises when you wear a Nazi uniform in a public place.

People never stopped liking Yaoi. Little fan girls never stopped reading exactly the same stuff that I was reading at their age. The difference comes from behavior in real life.

Universally, the vast majority of fandom regardless of the time are able to separate fiction from reality. The problems were never caused by fiction, but rather people's behavior.

In order to stop people from cosplaying Nazi characters, the solution was not getting rid of all Nazi characters in media and harassing people who write about them. The solution was, very simply, to ban this kind of iconography at conventions and hold people accountable for their conduct.

Regardless of the space and the fandom, there are always going to be people who can't behave properly. There are always going to be people who don't know how to treat others. That's just the reality of looking at a group of people, some people don't have common sense. It is not the fiction that causes people to behave this way, but rather having a large group of people in a relatively new scene that hasn't established proper regulations and etiquette yet.

Allowing people to create, consume, and appreciate fiction that is not personally tasteful to you, or appropriate for some audiences, is an important part of society. It's extremely valuable to protect these freedoms, as censorship is a slippery slope.

My next essay will be about censorship in the Cold war era, McCarthyist homophobia, and why comic books were censored for having "anti-american" ideas.

Keep an eye out for that.

[tswwwit]

I had a dumb idea based on this ask, and then I wrote it!

Short Reincarnation thing where Bill gets his stupid body killed before meeting Dipper, and years later DIpper stumbles across him anyway.

When Dipper sees the faint golden glow in the distance, he staggers up to his feet.

Finally, after endless gray and black and white. After aimless wandering, with nobody to see or hear, nobody to call - 

There’s a light.

Dipper walks towards the light slowly. Cautiously. Then faster. Soon he’s running, eager to see what’s in front of him for the first time in the last probably-four-hours.

Who cares what’s ahead of him? It’s different from everything else around; it has color.

Maybe it’s a way out of here.

He never should have gone to Gravity Falls. Not even with his semi-new confidence with his still-new magic, hoping he would find answers, not even to look for The Thing. Leaving Seattle to explore the infamously magical, dangerous, and nearly impenetrable woods here has to be the dumbest idea he’s ever had.

The glow in the clearing stays steady as he approaches, a steady unflickering light. A beacon. 

Dipper stumbles into the patch of grass between the trees. Nearly trips, before he stands still, chest heaving.

What is it? He doesn’t see anything around. There’s a fallen log, and plants, an old shove leaning against a nearby tree, and. 

There. 

The bright gold light is coming from the ground. 

Dipper takes a few, slow steps closer. Arching his neck, leaning into see what might be emitting that light, in the patch of soft bare ground underneath the grass. There’s - 

A triangle. 

Dipper frowns at it.

 Whatever happened to send him into weird gray not-time, it was obviously magic, These woods are magic, this entire thing is because of magic. Obviously this thing is magic, too. 

That can’t be great. 

But while Dipper doesn’t know what this thing is, it’s the only thing around that’s not monochrome besides himself. That has to be a sign. Good or bad, he’s not sure.

He crouches down nearby. Not getting too close, yet. 

Yeah. Definitely super magical. This close, it’s a bright light even in Dipper’s magical senses, and he’s pretty shit at those even for an amateur. 

The object’s made of… gold? Maybe. At least it looks metallic now that he’s close enough to get an idea of the texture. Larger than Dipper thought at first glance, but small enough to theoretically pick up if he dared. And for some reason there’s a miniature top hat rolled off to the side, which is like. What. 

Also, it’s chained to the ground. 

A very thick yellow metal chain - gold again? Maybe - that’s linked to one of the corners. It’s long enough to meander around the clearing and pile in a neat coil near the fallen log, then back to the center before abruptly delving into the soil.

Hesitantly, Dipper edges a little closer. Nothing happens. 

He waves a hand, and gives it a vague magical poke. Looking for movement, or like, big flashy stuff, or a reaction.

Nothing.

Okay. Big magic inside, but not reactive. Possibly inert. Dipper’s filing that under ‘good’ in terms of signs, but he’s ready to revise at a moment’s notice. 

Since the triangle isn’t doing anything, it’s up to Dipper to take action. Fumbling at his side, he keeps his eye on the shape. Just in case it - he doesn’t know, explodes or catches fire or something. 

Dipper finds what he’s searching for, and grips it tight. Nodding, once.

When in doubt, poke it with a stick.

He pokes it. 

In a flash, the shape leaps from the ground, opens one huge, slit-pupiled eye and gets right in his face with a huge noise that Dipper will later remember is ‘BLARG’. 

Despite himself, Dipper screams. The thing screams back at him, thin black arms flailing wildly, inches away. Dipper screams even louder, making a failed leap backward to hit the ground on his butt.

“AHHHH - HA! Ah ha ha ha ha!” The yelling devolves into wild, delighted laughter. The triangle crosses an arm over its front as it cackles, smacking a hand against one of its legs. “Whoo! Oh man! You shoulda seen the look on your face!”

Dipper stares. His heart is pounding, he’s trying to catch his breath. He lets go of his shirt, patting vaguely on the ground for the stick. 

“You were all like ‘Aaaugh’!’” The triangle flails dramatically again, then starts laughing harder. It  wipes under its eye. It looks, as much as any shape can, both totally thrilled and completely unrepentant. “Totally worth it.”

“You asshole.” Dipper sits up, trying to calm down. Unfortunately he truly has lost track of the stick, because he wants to throw something at this jerk.

“Ah, c’mon! You made that way too easy.” The triangle shrugs, lifting up two hands. It flaps a hand in Dipper’s direction. “Some guy all alone in the woods? No backup? No idea what he’s doing?” Its lower eyelid turns up. “You’re a tempting little opportunity, kid!”

Dipper says nothing. He simply glares, and flips it off.

And okay, that is a point, if you look at the situation in a totally twisted way. Dipper is kind of stranded and ignorant and - 

Wait, shit, he is.all of those things, and if this kind of thing is around, then what else is. 

Dipper pushes himself to his feet, and glances around quickly - but, no. Besides the jerk in front of him, nothing’s changed. Nobody and nothing around. Still very… still.

There’s a tap on his shoulder and he jumps - 

But it’s the jerk. Again. One noodly arm extending unnaturally, just to bother Dipper with a poke or two.

“Easy, sapling, there’s nobody here but us.” It says, tugging Dipper closer with one hand, and flapping the other in a semi-reassuring way.. “You can tone down the jumpiness for the moment! Believe it or not, I ain’t got any plans to hurt ya.”

Dipper shrugs, still examining the woods. It’s as silent and unmoving as always, so. Maybe they are alone here. One point in that thing’s favor. 

For lack of anything to say, Dipper flips it off for a second time.  It starts laughing again, clasping its surface.

Weirdly enough, Dipper kind of does believe it. That it doesn’t want to hurt him. Hell knows It had the jump on him, he had no defenses and didn’t expect anything to defend against. And it used that to be annoying, instead of harmful.

He looks it over anyway, still skeptical. It waves back, looking oddly cheerful and glowing slightly brighter.

Alright. No creature Dipper knows about fits this description. There’s magic, sure, but he doesn’t have enough experience to get a gist of it there. All he can tell is that it feels a lot more powerful than it looks, and that makes him vaguely uneasy.

Since he can’t get a read on it, and doesn’t know what to do with it - 

Fuck it. Dipper just asks. “What are you?”

“Usually it’s ‘who’, not ‘what’, kid.  Way to make a guy feel appreciated.” It - he - chides, sounding annoyed. One  of this creature’s arms goes down in a curve to grab the hat on the ground, setting it on his top point. “But since you insist, I’m the local demon in these parts.”

Demon. Great. 

And an even greater sign for where Dipper somehow ended up, if this is the type of creature he’s running into.

Where the hell is he, anyway? How the hell did he get here. What does he do with this thing? And most importantly -  

How quickly can he get the fuck out. 

“What, chupacabra got your tongue? Introductions are in order!” The demon shoves his other arm at Dipper, palm up. Like he’s offering a handshake. “Name’s Bill.”

Dipper nearly shakes its hand - the first stupid move - and nearly speaks his own name, then stops. Glaring at this creature with suspicion. 

Which is when the rest of the information hits home like an arrow. 

Dipper drops his arms, holding them stiff at his sides. “Wait. Bill, like. Bill Cipher?”  He shrinks back in alarm. 

“Wow. Really?” ‘Bill’ says, looking grumpy now. “Now that’s rich. I don’t go around assuming every human named ‘John’ is the same guy, now do I?” He floats away a bit, slightly turned to the side. Eyeing Dipper with clear disapproval. “Real classy of ya, kid.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.” Dipper grimaces. He pats the air a bit, awkward. Bill turns slightly back towards him. “I shouldn’t have assumed.”

He guesses that was a bit dumb, anyway. Bill Cipher has a totally different MO. 

That guy’s powerful demon who can wander around reality. Arson and murder and mayhem are his favorite hobbies. He travels around wearing a handsome human form, adding chaos to the life of whichever mortal he’s picked that time around, with terrible delight.

Not exactly the same level as this Bill, who’s stuck in the middle of nowhere, pulling prank-level jumpscares. 

If a demon like Cipher could be chained up in some weird gray pocket dimension, one of his mortals would have done it ages ago.

“Hey, no biggie!” Bill brightens up, facing Dipper again. He must not have taken the assumption too harshly; he almost looks pleased. “Not a bad guy to be compared to, all things considered.”

Dipper can’t help but make a mental note. Kind of interesting, that Cipher’s well known even outside of reality. That being compared to him is flattering, too, he didn’t expect that. Aren’t there books about this sort of thing? Dipper kind of wishes he’d studied more about demons, even though he never thought he’d need to - 

But this isn’t the time to get sidetracked. No matter how interesting it is.

“Uh, I’m Dipper.” He gives Bill a little wave, instead of taking the again-offered hand to shake. He knows better. Bill drops his hand, thwarted for the moment. “It’s. Interesting to see you.”

Which is true. In that Dipper, finally, has met another… ‘person’ in the place he’s ended up, and that means…

Time to get information.

“Where am I?”

“First time visiting, huh?” Bill floats over, the chain making a strange tinkling sound as it drags behind him. He slings an arm over Dipper’s shoulder in a companionable way, and Dipper tenses. “Lemme introduce you!

“Welcome to the liminal space between dreams and waking! The infinite realm of thought! The Nightmare Realm - or Mindscape, if ya like.” Bill waves over the woods in a broad gesture - then sighs, letting his arm drop. “Though since we’re in the extra liminal bit near your place, it’s not nearly as fun.”

That… makes precisely zero sense. Dipper waits, but Bill’s started glaring at their surroundings instead. Hardly helpful.

Dipper tries to squirm out from under his arm, but it’s oddly difficult to shake off. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“It means we’re stuck in the outskirts, kid. The blendy-in part! Specifically the bit where it’s real solid, cause it’s closest to your usual digs.” Bill flaps a hand over the monochrome scenery, looking annoyed at the scene. “The reality-adjacent burnt edge of pie crust, instead of the golden-brown, juicy, gory middle. Not the best part by miles..”

One bit of information, then. Dipper’s not quite in a different realm, or outside of reality. No, that would be too simple. 

Instead, he’s wound up in the spot where reality bleeds into another dimension. Where things aren’t one place or another, not one thing or another, and there’s probably a lot of magical theory that has a ton to explain all of it, except he hasn’t finished reading those books.

In theory, Dipper would take his time, and try to figure it out. Piece together the bits he’s learned. Maybe even ask Bill for input, since he seems to know about all of this stuff - 

In practice, he keeps running over the words Bill used earlier. 

‘We’re,’ Bill said. Including himself in the previous term, even though he’s an actual, literal demon.

And, ‘Stuck’. Bill said.

“So….” Dipper lets the word trail for a while, palms sweating. He rubs them on his jeans, trying for a smile. “Is there a way out of these… edges?”

“Unless you’re an advanced expert in interdimensional dynamics? Probably not!” Bill shrugs, sounding cheerful despite the horrible news he imparts, or maybe because of it. “Hope you enjoy silence and stillness, Pine Tree.” He pats his surface, eye shut with pride. “But if ya don’t, you’re welcome to hang with yours truly!”

Two horrible options. Dipper stares at Bill for a long moment, not sure what to say. 

He’s not an expert, not at all. He has magic, a lot, apparently, but he barely knows what he’s doing with it, doesn’t know how he has it, and mostly it just makes stuff explode. He can barely light a candle without consequences, much less escape the borderlands of a realm of freakin’ thought.

“Oh,” He says instead. All the air seems like it’s come out of his lungs. “Have a seat, kid.” Bill darts over towards the log, gesturing Dipper closer. He pats the wood invitingly. “After all, misery loves company!”

Feeling numb, Dipper walks over. He turns around, and sits down. 

After a moment, he rests his face in his hands. 

“So! I already know you’re not from around Gravity Falls,” Bill says, floating a few inches over the log and right next to Dipper. Patting thigh, which would almost be reassuring except for everything, ever, and the way he gives it a weird squeeze. “I woulda seen it!”

“Yeah.” Dipper glances over, briefly. Then looks forward again.. 

“Boy, you’re turning out to be a great conversationalist! How lucky for me.” Bill says, very dry. He throws his arms in the air. “Figures. You’d have to be brain-damaged to wander these woods for no reason.”

“I had a reason,” Dipper protests. One he didn’t understand, sure. But he had one.

“Oh yeah? What?”

“I just - I had to.” Dipper folds his arms, looking away. Somehow it makes even less sense when he says it out loud.

Bill shrugs, and says nothing. For a while, actually. Dipper does the same, mouth shut.

Maybe Bill’s planning something, or maybe he’s hoping to hear about Dipper’s vulnerabilities - but Dipper wasn’t born yesterday. He might not have had magic until a  few years ago, but he’s still not an idiot.  He’s not blabbing about his life to a demon of all creatures - 

For about five seconds. 

He can’t help it. The silence feels so deeply wrong that he has to break it. “I don’t know. I just felt-” 

Like he was being drawn here. Like there was an invisible thread, tugging gently at him until he couldn’t ignore it. Whispering, in quiet words, that he might find what he wanted.

A subtle, but effective temptation. Dipper did the stupid thing. He came here on that idiotic whim, and now look what’s happened. 

Maybe he should have known better. But.

For the longest time, Dipper has felt like something’s missing. Nothing he could ever really explain, or make sense of. When he lets himself think about it, which is rarely, it’s The Thing; a feeling so vague he can’t even put a name to it. 

All he knows is that something’s gone and it sucks. Like a piece is missing in his own personal puzzle, maybe dropped off the table or skimmed across the floor, and now he can’t find the stupid thing for the life of him. Doubly infuriating because it was the one last piece he needed, right before it went and fucked off.

When he got his magic, that helped with The Thing, a little. When he started actively looking for The Thing, that helped, too. 

But he still doesn’t know what it is, much less where it is, and he might never find the answer.

Not that he’s telling Bill any of that.  

“I had an impulse, and a stupid idea.” Dipper shrugs. “You know how it is.” Hopefully he does. If not, Bill will find out how annoying getting no explanation is.

“Bet you have a lot of those.” Bill says, amused. He stalks over the log, prodding Dipper in the side. “Probably famous for it!”

“Shut up.” Now Dipper flicks Bill on the side, annoyed. He’s not the only one included in that terrible adjective.  “What about you? What brought you here?”

“None of your beeswax.” Bill sets his fists on his edges, looking proud. “I’m doing exactly what I wanna be doing.”

Dipper casts a long, deliberate glance over the chain, and raises an eyebrow. Bill glares at him.

“Yeah, yeah, things could be a little more lively, whatever.” Another dismissive wave. Bill hops from the log onto Dipper’s leg, and drops down with a surprisingly heavy feel. He shrugs. “But hey, you’re gonna be with me for the foreseeable future! I can work with that.”

So Bill is trapped. He’s come as close to admitting it as Dipper’s likely to get. 

On an impulse, he pats Bill on his weird, metal back. If it’s a back; Dipper’s guessing because it’s the surface that doesn’t have his eye on it. Bill makes a pleased sound, so it must not be too weird.

“I’m guessing your whole deal is, what, mystery hunting? You don’t seem the monster hunter type.” Bill prods his arm, squeezing his bicep with a narrowed eye. “Or hey! Maybe you were just dumb enough to poke around for no reason!” Oh for - Dipper just said he had one. Bill knows that, he’s just being a dick. “I’m not dumb.” He sits up a little straighter, jabbing a thumb at his chest. Lifting his chin in defiance. “At least I’ve never been chained up.”

“Ah, a real vanilla guy.” Bill rubs under his eye thoughtfully. Dipper feels his face warm with embarrassment, waving his hands. That’s not what he meant - and Bill brightens up.. “Guess ‘adventurous’ only goes so far, huh?”

Dipper splutters, not sure how to respond. Bill waggles his upper eyelid, nudging him in the side - and Dipper can’t not respond to this asshole.

Unfortunately, Bill’s ready with a retort for every protest. Dipper can’t let that lie, so he has to accuse him of his own stupidity back, and forth, and back again.

They actually keep at it, for… longer than Dipper expected. More easily than expected.

He kind of thought that being trapped here, trying to keep up conversation with Bill, would trail off into awkward silence more often than not. Dipper’s never been great with small talk, he has to plan, like, half of his conversations in his head before they happen. 

Turns out it’s hard to feel awkward when you really want to make the other guy shut up first.

Bill’s still a jerk, sure. Dipper's known that from moment one. He starts arguments without a purpose, delighting himself with stupid puns, and it turns out he finds it hard to resist a double entendre. That’s a weak point; Dipper can use it. He has to think on his feet to keep up with him, there’s no time to get mired down. 

It’s all pointless, stupid bickering. Bill prodding at him, Dipper responding and prodding back. Bill’s pretty cagey; Dipper doesn’t get much from him.

Bill, though. Gets a lot. Probably more than he wanted, because Dipper finds once he starts talking about some things, he has a lot more to say about them than he thought.

He’s not sure why he’s doing it. Or how he started. He knows Bill hasn’t used magic on him, he can feel that much, it’s just….

Bill keeps asking pointed questions, so he’s asking for it. Dipper hasn’t been able to talk about some of this before, and Bill’s a literally captive audience. Possibly because Bill couldn’t tell anyone else Dipper knows, and partly… because he’s a terrible listener, which kind of helps. Like it doesn’t matter what Dipper says, because Bill won’t care enough to use it against him.

“Not to mention going through magical puberty, like a decade too late.” Dipper finishes, after going over a long, long list of complaints. About his shitty life. About how much things suck. He waves over the air for emphasis. Bill, sitting on his thigh, leans back so his hat isn’t knocked off. “Do you know what that’s like?”

“Likely hilarious! But so what?” Bill sits back up, kicking his legs idly. Which also means he’s lightly kicking Dipper’s other leg. “What’s wrong with more power?”

Dipper opens his mouth to argue. Then stops. 

It makes sense that a demon wouldn’t get it, due to, well. Being a demon. They’re all power hungry. To Bill, this could only seem like a good thing. He wouldn’t understand how-

“More power means solving some problems, alright.” Dipper changes tactics, rubbing at his eyes. There’s a headache coming on, he can feel it. “But now I have different problems. Bigger ones.”

“Aha! Inexperience.” Bill brightens up a bit more, waving off the rest of Dipper’s concerns. “Easy, kid, that’s all temporary. Once you get used to blasting things to pieces, you’d be amazed how many problems are flammable!”

Dipper feels his mouth draw into a thin line. He doesn’t know what he expected. 

He drops back onto the log, resting his chin in his hand. Bill pats his lower back, and starts rambling on about optimal targeting techniques, but Dipper’s not paying attention.

Different experiences, and different problems. He’s in a different place, which has totally eclipsed the Thing problem. Bill’s here too, but he doesn’t seem like the major issue.

The big one, right now, is going home, and how the hell Dipper’s going to do that.

“There has to be a way out of here.”. He’s not going to give up. Not now.

“Well,” Bill draws out the word, slow and with a detectable hint of smugness. “There might be one way to get your butt back to reality.”

Dipper tenses up. 

Right. He should have seen this coming, because Bill’s a demon. He hadn’t forgotten that fact, but he’d put it out of the front of his mind. 

“I see where this is going.” Dipper folds his arms, and gives Bill an unimpressed look. “Let me guess. You’re an expert in interdimensional dynamics.” 

“Never said I wasn’t!” Bill’s lower eyelid is raised in amusement. “To tell the truth, sapling, I’m one of the best in the biz.” He throws in a wink, even with one eye. “You really lucked out meeting me.”

Another thing Dipper should have expected. Bill might be stuck, but he never said the why, only implied it. The chain should have been a clue. A demon would know how to handle dimensions, too, since they can be summoned and dismissed. And trapped.

Demons are also notorious for another thing. Dipper’s not looking forward to it.

Escape isn’t going to come without a cost.

“What do you want,” He says, flat. 

“Make a deal with me!” Bill floats up and in front of Dipper, arms spread invitingly. “I’ll show you how to get out of here in seconds, no problem.”

“What’s the cost.” Dipper remains stern. Glaring, now. Bill hasn’t gotten to it yet, but there’s going to be a catch. 

“Yeesh, way to rush things.” Bill wags a finger, almost chiding. “A jaunt back home can’t be all you want! Think about what you’d really want out of life. ‘Cause I’ve got more magic to work with than you could comprehend!”

Bill waves his arm, and this time - 

Okay. Dipper has to admit it’s impressive.

Wherever Bill gestures, a small scene plays out, like a movie. Bright and colorful, standing out against the bland background. 

“You could ask for fame!” A brief shot of Dipper, being lauded by a crowd. Bill snaps his fingers. “For riches!” Piles of gold tumble around fake-Dipper’s feet, burying him to the ankles -  another snap. “Or hell, even True Love!” 

And a shadowy figure sneaks up on fake-Dipper, then seizes him by the waist, lifting him up. Fake-Dipper looks surprised, then annoyed. He struggles, kicking out helplessly, right before he’s dragged off into nothingness.

Dipper stares at the lingering void left until the ��screen’ vanishes. Then, incredulously, at Bill.

Bill pops up in front of him again, fists set on his sides with pride. “Name it, kid, and it’s on offer. I could get you all that crap that humans like and more!” 

“I’ll pass.” Dipper flips Bill off, much to his amusement. 

“What, too intimidating?” Bill leans in, nudging Dipper with an elbow-adjacent bend of his arm. “Be reasonable, Pine Tree. You’re gonna make a deal anyway. Why not get something cool while you’re at it?”

Okay, fair point. If Dipper’s risking his soul, he might as well get something else while he’s at it. 

But it’s also dangerous. Bill’s going to cheat, and lie, and according to what he showed Dipper has a totally different view of what’s actually appealing to humans. Making this deal too complicated could only end poorly. 

Everything he’s offering probably comes with a catch, anyway. Fame would probably be for, like, accidentally exploding a building, money from a murder or whatever. Bill’s idea of ‘love’ is just. Yeah, Dipper’s going to pass. And even if there weren’t a huge pitfall waiting for him - Bill certainly couldn’t give Dipper what he’s really looking for, especially when even Dipper’s not sure what it is.  

For a moment, then, Dipper lingers on the image of his shitty apartment. How cold it’s going to be when fall turns into winter, and how his car is starting to make unnerving sounds when -

He shakes his head to clear it.

“Just get me out of here.”

Bill groans, clearly disappointed. “Yeah yeah, stubbornness. But ya gotta sweeten the deal for me, too.” He rubs his fingers together, eye narrowed. “Make it worth my while.”

Of freaking course there’s a minimum buy-in. Dipper groans, rubbing at his eyes. If he has to add onto this - 

“Alright, fine.” He throws his hands in the air.. “Like, enough gas money to get home.” That shouldn’t cost too much. Hopefully.

Bill remains undeterred. He narrows his eye, skeptical. “That’s it? I get skipping over the ‘fame’ one, alright, that can be a pain. When everyone knows who you are, they get all up in your business! But you’re not gonna ask for any affection?” He blinks for a moment, spreading his hands and somewhat incredulous himself. “‘Cause I got-”

“Some really bad ideas.” Dipper says. Bill looks miffed, crossing his arms over his golden front. “Are we doing this deal or not?”

“Hmph. You got no idea what you’re missing out on.” Bill sniffs, which is weird because he doesn’t have a nose -  “Fine, we’ll do it your way. Spoilsport.”

Dipper straightens up, feeling a sudden burst of pride. Bill’s bothered, which means Dipper avoided a trap. He’s in a little less danger. 

“Now, about getting you back to reality. That’s some tricky business there, but I got ideas.” Bill taps under his eye, thoughtful. He stares off into space, pupil changing shape and size, flickering for a moment before it snaps back to ‘normal’. “You’re gonna need a life spell.”

“What?”

Dipper’s experience is pretty limited, in that he’s only had magic for a few years, but he’s not stupid. To change back dimensions, and get home, life magic doesn’t fit. All it deals with is flesh and blood and a bit with spirit, but that can’t apply here. He thinks..

“What do you mean, what? Who’s the expert here, anyway?” Brightening up, Bill swings an arm around DIpper’s shoulder again, half-guiding and half-dragging him into the middle of the clearing. “You got the magic for it, you got the talent for it. You lack the education for it, but I can walk you through the basics, and we can cram everything into the same spell! One and done, easy.”

“That’s… convenient.” And concerning. Dipper stares at the bare earth under his feet, shifting under Bill’s arm. “So how do I-”

“Ahem.” Bill clears his nonexistent throat, tapping a fist against his surface. He gives Dipper a meaningful look, though what it’s trying to convey is impossible to parse.

Dipper glares at him. Another catch, probably. “What now.”

“You called it earlier, kid! Before we start rifling through the guts of it,” Bill drifts closer, until his eye is right up near Dipper’s face. He pokes him on the cheek with amusement. “We gotta discuss my price.”

Right. There was always going to be one, wasn’t there. 

Dealing with a demon. The stupidest thing possible. 

“How much?” Dipper asks, voice flat. Adding, before Bill can speak up - “I don’t really have much, uh. To me.”

It won’t be cash. Even inexperienced, Dipper knows that much. Whatever Bill asks for, Dipper’s soul’s not going to be on the table; he’d rather be trapped than do that. Maybe Bill will request a demonic thing, but Dipper doesn’t have any connections to other magical beings, any cool relics, or any secret knowledge. 

He really hopes this isn’t going to be painful, or traumatic. Or anything physical, for that matter. Dying in the process of escaping kind of defeats the point.

“Hm. Lemme think.” Bill hums for a moment, eye narrowed. “One spell, complete with escape from the realm you accidentally stumbled your ignorant ass into, and one dose of obscene wealth-” Dipper clears his throat, loud. “Alright, minor wealth, loser. That should run ya…”

Dipper stuffs his hands in his pockets, waiting with growing unease. Bill’s rubbing under his eye in thought, like he’s trying to see how much he can gouge Dipper for. Hopefully it’s not flesh. 

Then Bill stops, and holds up a finger. “One kiss. Seems fair to me!”

Dipper stares at this… thing for a moment. “What.”

Bill glows brighter, seemingly pleased with himself. “Pretty great deal, am I right?” 

“Very funny.” Dipper gives him a derisive look. “What do you actually want?”

“A kiss, kid. With tongue.” Bill says, very seriously. He shuts his eye and wags a finger in the air.. “We’re talking a real tonsil-tickler here, none of that chaste peck crap.”

“With who?” Dipper has a dreadful suspicion. Which isn’t helped by the way Bill gleefully points two thumbs at himself. “You can’t be serious.”

“Dead serious, sapling.” Bill spreads his arms wide, lower eyelid rises in a simulacrum of a smile. “One frenching for one freedom. You couldn’t find a better bargain even if you did have options!”

The worst part is that’s probably right. What Bill’s asking for sounds like it’s the cheapest thing on offer. Most demons would put the price point so much higher - flesh, souls, family, mass slaughter - that it wouldn’t be worth considering. 

Dipper can’t believe he’s considering this.

“And it’s not going to like, burn my mouth with acid, or suck out all my organs, or-”

“Boy, are you paranoid. Typical,” Bill says, sounding exasperated. He rolls his eye in its socket, around and around, before settling back on Dipper. “You can’t kiss back if you pass away, kid! I want active participation, and you’re only up for some lip action right now.”

Dipper remains skeptical. He leans back a bit, making a face.

But the request’s bizarre enough to feel honest, and technically it’s better than the other things Dipper was imagining. All in all, a quick kiss actually does seem like a bargain.

Which means Dipper shouldn’t trust it one bit.

Thinking about it, Bill’s been stuck here, for who knows how long, without access to much. No hanging out with other demons, no manipulating humans. Lacking anyone to talk to, or -  have other mouth actions with, or anything. He’s not operating on standard demon motivations. Likely this has a different angle. Something else he can use to exploit.

Why would Bill want this?

Dipper looks him up and down slowly, lips drawn tight. Trying to figure him out.

Bill clearly takes his attention as interest, because he straightens his hat, and adjusts his tie with obvious pride. He wipes at his surface, hums a little tune, and there’s a squeaking sound as he rubs a wrist against his side. Like he’s polishing it.

Or…. maybe  it’s a bargain because Bill actually wants to make out. The primping can’t be anything but alarmingly sincere.

“Okay.” Dipper gives in, and lets his shoulders drop. Being trapped has obviously tanked Bill’s standards - or his uses for pounds of flesh. Either way, it’s worked out in his favor.  “Let’s do this.”

“Glad to hear it!” Bill floats closer, cupping Dipper’s face in his weird hands. They're oddly soft for a guy who’s mostly made of metal. “Now pucker up, buttercup, and we’ll seal the deal.”

“Don’t call me that,” Dipper says. Bill squishes his cheeks a few times, until Dipper smacks his front.

“Eh, I got other nicknames to use,” Bill says, and draws Dipper in.

Dipper shuts his eyes. He doesn’t want to see this. Whatever’s about to touch his face, it’s probably terrifying. 

For a moment he’s tempted to call it off, but then Bill will protest and maybe cut the deal off, leaving him right back at square one and with less bargaining power. Too late to back out.

Sterning himself, Dipper lets it happen.

There’s… a mouth? Against his mouth. Something, anyway, and it’s not soft but not sharp or stinging, and for the moment his face isn’t melting off. Dipper can work with that. 

There’s a tug on his shirt, and Bill makes an insistent ‘mmh!’. Right, he has to participate. Damn it. 

Kissing Bill back isn’t hard, if he pretends he’s not holding onto the edges of a demonic shape. And forgets the fact that he’s buying his freedom with a makeout session. When a few seconds pass and Dipper hasn’t exploded or turned into a monster, he even manages to relax. 

Yeah. He can get through this. It’s not too bad. Honestly, Bill’s handling this pretty well, all things considered. It’s not slimy or sloppy, or particularly rough.Their teeth haven’t clicked together once, if Bill even has any -  and he doesn’t smell bad. Or like anything, really. 

So, surprisingly, it’s not the worst kiss Dipper’s ever had. Bill, apparently, has some experience in this area. That raises so many questions.

Something wet flickers against his lips, and very reluctantly, Dipper lets them part. This could be - 

 Huh. Bill tastes like…. basil? Of all the things Dipper was expecting, that wasn’t even on the list. And while he’s made of metal and sharp corners, he’s warm, too, and his hand cupping the back of Dipper’s neck runs up and down in a way that’s almost. Nice. Tonsils remain uninvolved, too. If Bill’s forgotten that part, then Dipper’s not going to bring it up.

He’s not sure how long they spend like that, because - well, after a while it’s kind of interesting? That Bill can do this at all. That needs investigating. If Dipper needs to take a weird route to study it, well, that’s acceptable losses. He can deal.

Until there’s a slow slide up his thigh, and a hand squeezes Dipper’s butt.

Dipper shoves this jerk away, grimacing. That wasn’t part of the deal. “Hey! Hands off.”

“What hands? They’re right here!” Bill blinks innocently, and offers them up for Dipper’s inspection.

Now that’s just bullshit. DIpper reaches behind himself, seizes the offending limb, and shoves it right at Bill’s surface. “What about this?”

“Oh wow, what a surprise!” While Bill’s third arm gives Dipper a jaunty wave, he shrugs with the other two. A fourth one pops out and smacks against his edge in mock surprise.  “Where’d that come from?”

Yep. Still, absolutely, one hundred percent asshole. He doesn’t know what he expected.

Dipper flips him off. Again. He wishes he knew more obscene gestures, because this one just makes Bill laugh. 

“I’ll call that a deal fulfilled, sapling. Very nice, by the way! You really went for it!” Bill’s glowing bright, unperturbed. Glossing over the fact that he’s been caught being a pervert. “Even I can’t claim you didn’t pay up.”

Dipper wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and shrugs. “Just show me the spell.”

“Aw, but it was a fun time, am I right?” Bill tickles Dipper under the chin, lower eyelid raised. He gives Dipper double finger guns, beaming.. ”Next one’s on the house.” 

Dipper rubs at his eyes. Honestly. It’s a good reminder. 

If it weren’t for Bill’s sheer dickishness, he might have said something nearly positive, and that would have been a huge mistake. 

A deal, done. A payment, made. 

Now, to actually get Dipper’s portion. 

Though it takes some arguing. Or rather, a lot of arguing, and a relative armload of innuendoes, only half of which make sense - Dipper, eventually, steers Bill back onto the right track. 

Turns out the trick is questioning whether or not he can actually do it. Questioning Bill’s competence, or knowledge, lights a fire under his nonexistent ass. 

Pride, Dipper notes, is a weak point for Bill. Though he’s not likely to ever need it again, it’s still nice to know.

Bill’s also surprisingly okay to work with. Kind of like the kiss, Dipper expected it to be painful, but Bill actually, amazingly, knows what he’s doing. Albeit without making Dipper have questions he’s not sure he wants the answers to. 

Bill projects an outline of the circle that needs to be drawn, Dipper can easily trace it. His knowledge truly is deep, too; Bill has an encyclopedic knowledge of sigils and runes, and only minorly goes on tangents about destructive and chaotic energy. 

And, though it sucks to admit - he was right again. 

The spell Dipper needs to cast truly is simple. At least on Dipper’s end. All he needs to do is power the thing, and channel it with some theory that Bill described in gory yet helpful terms. 

But the spell *is* life magic. Magic’s not enough; it needs a little more, as Bill put it, ‘oomph’ to get it going.

Dipper flicks the pocketknife open, ready to draw it across his palm. He steadies himself with a deep breath.

Blood is connected to it, magically. A few drops is all it should take. Then it’s over. He’ll be done here.

He’ll get to go home.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Bill grabs Dipper’s wrist before he makes the cut. “Piss poor placing, kid. You want the back of the arm or a leg or something.” He wags a chiding finger. “More blood, and more convenient if you wanna grab anything later.”

Dipper honestly hadn’t thought of that. In movies and stuff, everyone goes for - but. Yeah. 

Yet again, Bill’s been oddly helpful. 

In fact, this entire time he’s been oddly, annoyingly helpful. When Dipper was stuck. When he wanted to complain, and the deal really could have been worse. Maybe it’s only because Bill’s been bored, and he doesn’t have anyone else to mess with. Or because he kind of thinks Dipper’s… worth kissing. 

In any case. It’s the sort of thing he should probably mention.

“Uh. Thanks.” Dipper says, feeling awkward. “You’ve been kind of cool. For a demon.”

“Ha! Now that’s rare!” Bill drifts upwards, fists on his edges. He looks supremely amused. “Glad you spoke up, sapling.” Somehow, he winks with only one eye. “I won’t ever let you forget it.”

Back to ominous, then. Dipper’s going to try and ignore it

“Okay, well. See you… hopefully never again.” He states, and draws the knife over the back of his arm. Just a nick, but enough to draw a few drops.

As Bill starts laughing, Dipper shuts his eyes for a second time, kneeling on the ground, and muttering the chant. He’s already memorized it, no need to listen to Bill anymore. 

Goodbye, demon, goodbye, awful grey realm - 

He draws on the magic, that deep and infinite pool inside him, and pushes.

There’s a strange, clinking sound. A rush of magic out of him,more than he’s used before, it almost leaves him dizzy, and the spell itself clicks into place, complete.

That’s it. He’s done. He’s - 

Dipper looks up.

Everything’s still monochrome, so. That’s not good. 

He gets to his feet slowly, checking - but no, no change. Still stuck, in this impossible liminal realm. 

With a start, he realizes that nothing’s glowing in the clearing, either.

Dipper looks around, suddenly alert, but he doesn’t hear anything. Not a laugh, or a mocking comment. No matter how he looks, there’s no chain. No gold. No freaking Bill around, completely vanished from sight - 

“That son of a bitch.” Dipper clenches his fists at his sides. 

Goddamn it, he should have realized. That entire thing was incredibly, recklessly stupid. It was a trick, Bill’s been freed - and Dipper’s still trapped. 

But you know what? Fuck Bill. Dipper doesn’t need him. 

He’s smart. He got here to begin with, and he didn’t need some asshole to help him with that; he can get out as well. He’s going to figure this out, learn a hell a lot more about demons, get really great at magic, and - and all sorts of other things, too, all out of sheer spite. He’s going to get out of here-

As he clenches his fists, jaw tightening, color washes over the scene.

Dipper blinks again. Then waves his arms, suddenly confused.

That was fast. Almost as fast as thought. 

There’s a breeze on his skin, the smell of the forest in the air. The sky is less dark, though it’s nearly sunset. Dipper spends a long tense minute, watching the sun relative to the horizon, tension tight in his chest. Feeling a huge shudder of relief, as it does, in fact, move. Time’s moving. Time’s normal, and the world is normal, and real.

The spell did work. On a delay that Bill never mentioned.

Dipper taps his foot on the loose earth beneath him, folding his arms.

Great. Now he can’t be mad at Bill. He was as good as his word. 

All in all, Dipper could have made a worse deal, if he doesn’t think too hard about Bill and what he might be up to. The trade, such as it was, did end up fair. 

A freedom for a freedom. That’s about as fair as a demon can be, and all for the low, low cost of. Some lip action.

For some reason, Dipper’s still really annoyed. 

If he knew Bill was going to get out too, well. A heads up would have been nice. Not to mention that Bill just went and fucked off somewhere without so much as a ‘see ya’, or a ‘goodbye’, or - 

But it’s good, really. That they won’t meet again. Better for both of them.

Because If they did, Dipper would have to tell him he’s a jerk, and a bastard. Bill seems like he needs that reminder every once in a while. Or every few days. Or hours. 

So again, good that he’s gone; Dipper’d probably lose his voice if he had to be around him too long. Good riddance.

Dipper stands in the clearing for a while, watching the light fade as evening sets in. Alone in the forest again. Safe in reality. 

After a while, it’s starting to get chilly; he wraps an arm over himself, squeezing the opposite bicep. .

It’s been a very long day. 

He takes a deep breath, and slowly lets it out.

Then the soft earth shifts under his feet, and something grabs his ankle. 

For the second time in a day, Dipper screams. 

A sudden yank makes Dipper lose his balance, but he catches himself before he hits the ground, braced on his elbows. He swears, pulling his leg away on impulse, kicking at the tight grasp on his leg -

And stares in horror as a dirty yet well-manicured hand pulls him closer, impossibly strong. Dragging him down into the earth it burst out from. A few more urgent kicks gets the thing off him, and Dipper scrambles back.

The hand pats around for him, searching, then pushes against the ground. Bringing out an arm, then a chest, a full head that shakes off the dirt. An eye rolls around in one socket, while the other is missing or covered with dirt, and it wears a wide, rictus grin. With very sharp, very white teeth. 

Dipper struggles to his knees. Sweat is breaking out on his forehead, as whole human man - thing pulls itself out of a shallow grave right in front of him. There’s no time to react; it’s up on its feet before he can gain his own. Too steady, and way too fast for the living dead.

Shit. Life magic, of course.

So It wasn’t a trick after all. It was a trap. 

Dipper not only set BIll free but raised, like, a zombie, or something, to take care of the rest. It’s going to finish him off and leave no evidence but a bloody smear on the grass. He tries to leap back but it's already got him by the shirt in a tight grip, dragging him in.

Okay, no time. Last resort. DIpper hates to do this, but. He tenses up, holding his arms out and reaching for his magic. Pulling on it, hard. 

The fire rages, it lights up the whole clearing as it spreads. Dipper can feel it engulf himself, spread around the clearing, and engulf his assailant - 

To absolutely zero effect. Not even a sizzle, what the hell. 

Dipper spends a moment to be indignant as the creature lifts him up, and up, until his feet don’t even touch the ground. What the hell. He’s always been able to explode stuff, and the one time he actually wanted to, it doesn’t work?

“Trying to heat things up, huh? Nice try, sapling, but it won’t work.” Says the man holding him, sounding delightedly amused. “As a guy once said - I’m extremely cool!”

Dipper snaps his gaze downwards, towards that voice. “That’s not what I-”

He stops. Stares. 

Then glares.

A golden eye winks back at him. Some of the dirt has dried from the fire; now it flakes off in patches, revealing an eyepatch instead of an empty socket, and a suit instead of the yellow of lividity. Dipper’s idly tempted to insult his fashion, before he remembers he still can’t touch the freakin’ ground.

While the other shape didn’t have a literal smile, if you plastered it on a human face it would be a one-to-one match.

“You’re kidding me.” Dipper says. Somehow he’s not surprised.

He gets an eyebrow wiggle, and a brighter smile. The man lifts him up like a carnival prize; his suit really is tacky, Dipper should tell him that. And that his voice is so annoying, and he has a very handsome, very awful face. 

Bill cackles. Clearly thrilled.

“Really? Dipper says. Then, feeling tired. “Oh, come on, Bill. That was a dick move.” He lets his arms drop to his sides.

So obvious, when you think about it. So clear, when you know what’s up. 

There were so many chances to spot it, and Dipper was so dumb.

Bill Cipher, dream demon. Infamous for a lot of things, power and insanity and all of that - but mostly for wandering reality, tied to a mortal. While wearing a human shape. Obviously he has another form, being a demon and all, but it’s not like there are many depictions. Bill Cipher doesn’t stride around Earth without wearing his skin suit.

Well. Guess who just went and made him one. 

Dipper should be more upset. He should be furious. But mostly?

He’s thinking about how he’ll get Bill back for this. 

“What’s with the long face?” Bill Cipher asks, looking absurdly pleased with himself. A huge grin as he bounces Dipper in his grip, sharp teeth bared. “Everything went according to plan!”

“I’m an idiot,” Dipper states, before kicking Bill once. It doesn’t work, but it was mostly a gesture, anyway. “And you’re an asshole.”

“Sure am! But you’re my idiot now, sapling.” Bill says, cheerful as anything. He swings Dipper around, then over his shoulder like he weighs nothing. Throwing in a pat on the back, presumably for insult. “Good to see ya again!”

[rdiowx]

Kinktober day six

Breeding with puppy frank iero

Warnings!: breeding obviously, knotting, trans male reader, rough but whiney frank.

This comes from my wanting of a cunt guys

Not proofread

Franks ruts were your favorite days, especially when you could convince him to knot you like you planned on doing today. You were at work all day today, having to leave frank alone and you felt so bad. You knew he was probably aching right now, you’d be surprised if he wasn’t. Walking into your house you were met with whines and the smell of sweat. “Im home frank!” You announced, taking your shoes off and putting them by the door. It wasnt long until you heard frank making his way towards you, his movements rather rushed as he greeted you. His shirt was off and he was covered in sweat, you could see his cock strained in his shorts and you frowned. You took his hand, taking him to your bedroom before sitting him on your guy’s shared bed. You started to take your clothes off, frank getting too excited and began to help.

It didn’t take frank long to start attacking your chest as soon as it was free, leaving marks all over. You let out a moan as frank took your nipple into his mouth, sucking on it greedily before you even got the chance to take your pants off. “Frank, c’mon im not even all the way undressed yet.” You told him, nudging him off of you causing him to whine before taking your pants off. You sat on the bed as he did so, he decided to leave your boxers on for now though. Crawling up the bed he latched onto your mouth, running his hands up your sides, gripping them in the process. “You gonna knot me today?” You asked, slipping his shorts off. “I don’t want to hurt you..” he replied, his voice shaking as you took his boxers off. You shook your head with a smile before telling him he wouldn’t.

“Okay.” He whispered before slipping his hand into your boxers, his fingers finding your entrance almost immediately. You moaned as he slipped his fingers into you, gripping onto his arms as he finger fucked you, successfully stretching you out for his cock. He got tired of not being able to see all of you and took your boxers off all the way, throwing them somewhere in the room. Frank leaned down between your thighs to press a kiss to your clit, slipping his tounge into you afterwards causing you to whine. It didn’t take him long to get impatient, he wanted his cock in you and you wanted his cock inside of you just as much.

He didn’t take long flipping you over, your lower body now being held up by your knees as you rested your head on the pillow under you. Slipping his cock inside of you must’ve been what set him off because it didn’t take long for him to start using you like you were just a fleshlight, an inanimate object without a pulse. “Fuck!” He whined while you just groaned into the pillow you were using as a muzzle. He felt so good inside of you, the feeling of his cock sliding in and out of you made your brain numb. The only thing you were aware of right now was him and the drool pooling on the pillow from how good you felt. The sound of skin on skin filled the room as well as the wet noises from your cunt.

“S’good, good boy.” Frank moaned still fucking into you, the headboard slamming against the wall with each thrust. You wouldn’t be surprised if there was a dent in the wall after. You didn’t know when you moved your hands, now clenching the sheets in between your fingers as frank held your hips in his, There was no doubt gonna be finger prints on them. You felt frank hands sliding lower before slipping under you to rub your clit making you cry out in surprise. “I want you to cum all over my cock when i knot you.” Frank whimpered from above you,to which you could only nod at, too brain dead to respond with words. You took note of how you could feel his knot against your entrance now, a telltale sign that he was close.

It didnt take long for him to slip it inside of you causing you to groan and sigh after, you loved the feeling of his knot inside of you and you felt all warm as he came inside of you as well. “Good job, good boy.” Frank sighed as he released inside of you. “Breeding you…feels so good.” He melted against your back before helping you move on your side so he could cuddle you from behind with his cock still inside of you. You knew it would take a while for his knot to go down anyways. “Feels good frank.” You whispered, tired from being fucked. “Mmhm.” He hummed, his head now in your neck.

[sw-33-ts-stuff]

hello helloooo, i may send this request to other authors

could you do a wednesday addams x gn! reader where the reader can stop time but anyone who is touching them will not be frozen? so like the reader is just like "hey wednesday,(or whatever nickname they have for her) come with me for a sec" and it obviously takes a bit of begging but then they go outside in the rain or snow and the reader just grabs wednesdays hand and puts the other hand up and stops time so the snow or rain just sits there in mid air. could probably make this super fluffy

-C<3

3rd Person POV

You sat quietly at lunch watching Xavier once again try to impress Wednesday by making his artwork come to life. You felt yourself scowl as you caught the slightest bit of intrigue in her gaze.

You remembered a time when Xavier said his powers weren't meant to be used for showing off and that everyone should hold the same mindset.

Obviously his feelings on the matter have changed.

Enid sat with Ajax watching Wednesday resist the urge to stab Xavier. She caught your line of sight and laughed under her breath. It was so painfully obvious that you were crushing on Nevermore’s resident goth, at least to everyone but the girl herself.

You and Wednesday shared a few classes together and she's been sure to share her lack of hatred towards you on several occasions, but Wednesday was always hard to read. Some days you'd dare to say she enjoyed your company and others you'd wonder if she even knew you existed.

Enid walked over to you tapping your shoulder. Your head shot up in surprise so caught up in your envy of Xavier you didn't even hear the young werewolf approach.

"Howdy Y/n!" You nodded giving the girl a small smile.

"Hey Enid."

"You know you shouldn't scowl." You felt your eyebrows furrow. The blonde rolled her eyes.

"Oh please anyone can totally see the little green monster in you whenever everyone's favorite brooding artist gets next to Wednesday."

A light red sprinkled your cheeks as you shook your head in denial.

"I-" the gloomy girls roommate just raised an eyebrow at you making you sigh.

"Am I really that bad?" The fur laughed lightly grabbing a seat next to you, in turn catching the attention of the very object of your affections.

Wednesdays eyebrows furrowed as she watched you and Enid talk. Your cheeks red and a small smile on your face, it was disgusting.

The weird sensation in her stomach making her uncomfortable and not in a good way. It certainly did not help that somewhere in the background Xavier's voice continue to drone on about the possibility of them going on a date.

It was when Enid had touched your hand that she felt aggravated. She stood and waved skipping happily back to their shared dorm making the shorter girl stand abruptly to follow.

"You never know if you don't try."

Enid's words rang on a constant loop in your head. She had encouraged you to ask Wednesday on a date but you still held a great fear of rejection.

You walked around the Quad looking up once you'd heard thunder, when lightning stuck you made your way to Ophelia Hall.

Enid was smirking at Wednesday as Thing "peeked" out from her closet.

"You know Willa if I didn't know any better I'd say you were jealous." Wednesdays glared became more intense making the werewolf stutter. "K-k-kidding but I promise it's not what you think."

A rushed knock on the door broke the both of them from their discussion. You didn't look up as you walked in.

"Hey Enid do you think-" your eyes were caught in Wednesdays intense gaze. Dark eyes sucking you in. Enid glanced between the two of you as you both engaged in a staring contest. Thing signed something to her making the werewolf almost smile.

You took a shuttering breath. "Uh Wednesday would you want to go outside with me?"

The goth blinked. "Why?"

"Because I-I want to show you something." Her eyes narrowed and the werewolf almost growled in frustration before she felt an idea form.

"If Wednesday doesn't want to go with you I don't mind joining you." You both turned to the girl surprised. Wednesday grit her teeth, annoyed as she had yet to figure out why Enid kept being so friendly with you. You stared at her confused.

Didn't she just tell me I need to try and ask her out?

"Let me just grab my coat since Wednesday will probably want to write-"

"Rude of you to assume I didn't want to go." She turned looking up at you slightly. "I will grab my coat now, you should grab one as well."

You smirked making Wednesday pause. "I'll be ok."

You both walked towards the schools greenhouse as you hit a switch opening the room up to the sky above as it began to drizzle.

Wednesday watched as you remained calm the drizzle quickly turning into harsh rain as thunder struck.

"You're going to catch pneumonia." You felt yourself turn towards the shorter girl.

"You know if I didn't know any better I'd think you were actually worried about me Addams." The girl scoffed.

"Quite the contrary I'd much rather have your corpse to perform an autopsy then deal with your assumptions."

You laughed. What a Wednesday thing to say.

You stepped closer to her slowly putting one hand towards her palm up.

She watched as the rain began to grow harder your hair and clothes beginning to grow wet. Suddenly your pinky wrapped around hers and she watched as you lifted the other towards the sky.

She felt the air grow still. She looked at individual droplets frozen mid air, the wind had stopped blowing as did the rain. The thunder grew silent and she found a flash of lightning had just began to illuminate the sky, paused at just the right moment. She could see the tendrils of electricity traveling throughout the grey clouds above.

You smiled as you watched her eyes took everything in. She abruptly pulled her hand from yours watching as the rain had resumed above her but not you.

"You did this." You nodded looking at the scene before you swallowing harshly. Wednesday continued to stare at you making you shift uncomfortably. It was impossible to tell what she was thinking and you felt small under her gaze.

The goth continued to stare slightly impressed by your power but plagued by something else entirely. She felt disgust at the thought of being exactly as Enid suggested....jealous. What a ridiculous feeling. Jealousy suggested emotions and emotions meant weakness, yet the thought of you with her and not Enid wasn't the worst idea she could think of. The thought of you wanting her, having feelings for her and her sharing the same didn't feel weak, especially not with what you just displayed. She just had to be sure..

"Are you interested in Enid?" Your eyes grew wide in shock and you felt yourself almost laugh. If not for the scary girl in front of you you're sure you would've.

"No!" You looked down cheeks heating up as you took a deep breath. "She was giving me advice on how to ask you on a date."

Wednesday grew quiet as she stared at you her hand slowly going towards yours as her pinky slightly hooked around yours.

Time froze again around her again.

"If we were to go on a date, where would you take me?"

The Addams girl continued to keep you in your toes. You felt a small smile grow on your face.

"That would be a surprise." The shorter girl stepped closer to you.

"I hate surprises." You leaned down slightly.

"You'll like this one." You both continued to look into each others eyes as she grabbed you by your tie bringing you to her level. Her lips crashed into yours. For someone so cold her lips were warm, soft and tasted sweeter than you thought they would. She pulled away smirking when she'd seen her lipstick had stain your lips.

In your surprise you let your guard down and got soaked. You put the roof back up on the greenhouse as Wednesday took you to her dorm.

Enid and Thing painting their nails on the floor.

Enid smirked at the sight of you as Wednesday went to get you a towel.

"Nice lipstick Y/n."

[asher-agere]

I, once again, have no extra text to add before my request. There needs to be more interesting things happening in my life that aren’t very dreadful…

Request time!! Can you share some thoughts on caregiver Shirase with a little who tries to ignore their regression as much as possible because they hate not being useful. Of course, as usual with most of my requests, no specific character in mind ^_^

You say most of your requests have no second character in mind right after we did that little Stormbringer character series- But either way no worries! Don’t need a second character for simple headcanons hehe

Caregiver Shirase + Little Neglecting Regression

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

✮⋆˙ Shirase can be a selfish guy. He’s not necessarily rude or anything! But let’s be honest, he knows how to put himself first. He thinks that everyone works that way! So when he starts taking care of a little one that pushes off their own needs just to make his life a little bit easier? He’s confused to say the least. Obviously he wants his little one to take care of themselves! Neglecting your regression isn’t good ( ｡ •̀ ᴖ •́ ｡ )

✮⋆˙ For awhile Shirase lets it go. It’s perfectly reasonable that they just haven’t felt like regressing! He doesn’t want to make them feel bad about not regressing or push them into it! But overtime he’ll notice signs that they really need it. Spacing out, fidgeting with stuff a lot, maybe talking less. He’ll notice! It might take him some time… But he will notice eventually! Once he’s onto what’s going on he can be relentless!

✮⋆˙ Shirase tries talking about things calmly. He’ll just ask his little one “Sooooo why haven’t I seen my baby in a while? I miss them a lot y’know?” If they hesitate to answer he’ll shower them in praise, explaining how much he loves his baby and misses them, then once they’re nice and flustered he’ll ask again! Hopefully this works, they’ll admit the problem, and they can talk it through! Shirase will explain that he loves taking care of them of course! It’s a comfort for him too, remember? But sometimes a little one can be stubborn. Insisting that they’re fine and walking off. Shirase moves onto phase two!

✮⋆˙ A stubborn baby gets a bit more forceful treatment! He knows that they need to regress, even if they’re denying it. So he’ll help them get there! He’ll walk up behind them and tackle them with a blanket! He’ll pick them up so they can’t run away! Baby is quickly wrapped up in a swaddle and carried to the couch! Shirase will put on some cartoons for the little one and bounce them, cooing at them and placing a pacifier in their mouth!

✮⋆˙ If the little one is stubborn enough to insist they don’t need to regress then they’re probably stubborn enough to object to obvious babying treatment. However! Shirase can be even more stubborn. Anything the little one says to object Shirase just nods his head and hums as if they’re babbling. He doesn’t speak baby! He soothes any thrashing as if it’s a tantrum, gently shushing them and rocking them side to side “Calm down now bud… Want your paci? Look at the super cool cartoons! Oooo I love this episode, settle down so we can watch”

✮⋆˙ The little one can object all they want, he’s getting them to regress forcibly. Then whenever they’re out of headspace (Usually after a nice nap) He’ll actually talk about things! Ask them why they don’t wanna regress, why they’ve been avoiding it. He’ll explain that he loves taking care of them too! They think he’d do something he doesn’t like? They must not know him very well then. In fact the little one is very rude for not letting him do his favorite activity which is taking care of them! He’ll punish them with a tickle attack!

✮⋆˙ Obviously that self doubt isn’t the kind of thing that’ll disappear over night though. He gets that! So he’ll encourage them to regress constantly! He’s always keeping up with cartoons (He gets emotionally invested in the plot), he’ll buy any cute plushies he sees, and whenever he’s bored he’ll just go and baby his little one. An adorable little baby will surely cure his boredom! If they object he’ll beg them with puppy dog eyes, his childish behavior may not seem fitting for a caregiver, but he’s so playful! It encourages a happy drop session!

✮⋆˙ Constant reassurance! It’s like. Daily for him. He’ll give his little one a hug and say how much he loves them, send them silly stuff saying it reminded him of them and he’s looking forwards to next time he gets to watch the cute baby, he makes sure that if he’s complaining (Which he does a lot) he mentions how it would be so helpful to just take care of someone else. Tiny things, he tries not to be too pushy! But the constant reassurance can help a lot

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

Sorry I haven’t posted today ૮꒰◞ ˕ ◟ ྀི꒱ა We had no power and no WiFi and no water and I was trying to conserve my battery and not waste data? But like I also didn’t really… It was very frustrating and I’ve been on the verge of a tantrum all day (>﹏<) But I got at least one post in today! There’s also a Comic Con this weekend where I’m selling my first wig… Very busy times! I’m also going both days so I get to use both of my cosplays :0 But yeah a lot- Sorry for the yap hehe. Have a lovely day/night everyone!

[modelbus]

I’ll beg on my knees for Dream saying I love you for the first time

you can get off your knees now don’t worry <3

Pairing: Cc!Dream x Gn!Reader

Fond Firsts

He says it on accident, a one-off, but you certainly didn’t miss it. Not when they’re the words you’ve been aching to hear—and say—since the moment he first kissed you.

The movie, a horror he swears by, wasn’t one you had ever seen before. Hence the horror movie after Halloween, because spooky season wasn’t just limited to October with him. The first scare was minor, something you had been expecting the entire time. All the other ones? Not so much.

You had jumped for the thousandth time, blushing furiously and rolling your eyes at how Dream had laughed and tugged you closer to him. His arm was settled around your waist, pinning you close to him. Not that you minded. But the laughing stung just a bit.

“It’s not funny! You didn’t tell me there was so much… horror!” You defended yourself, making him laugh harder.

“It’s a horror movie!” He had exclaimed, then dropped with L-bomb with a casual smile on his face. “You jump so much, oh my God. I love you.”

And just like that, your breath was stolen.

You watch as his smile falters as he realizes, his eyes widening as he straightens. “Oh, shit. Fuck fuck fuck.” He murmurs, mostly himself. Panicked.

Was this a bad sign? A good sign?

You open and close your mouth wordlessly before finding something to say. “Are you okay?”

“I didn’t mean it.” Dream blurts out.

Hurt, sharp and roaring, tears up your insides. Claws your ribs apart, exposes your heart, and rips into it like a lion feasting. Oh.

“You… didn’t mean it?” You repeat slowly, like saying it all in a rush would break everything.

The movie, still playing and loud, is forgotten.

“I mean, I meant it, obviously, but I didn’t mean it then. Wait, no, I meant it then but not timing-wise. I just mean that it’s true but I had something planned! That wasn’t meant to happen right now!”

His hands, one along the curve of your waist from previously and the other newly placed on your arm squeeze like he’s afraid you’ll vanish. You don’t run, not from him, but his fear is there all the same.

You’ve known him long enough to know the way he’s speaking. The rushed, panicked rhythm. The way he gets louder, higher-pitched. How his words don’t seem to match his brain anymore, because what he’s thinking and saying are two different things with the same objective.

But you’ve definitely never seen him panic over something like this. And there’s definitely no guidebook on what to do if your boyfriend fucks up and accidentally says “I love you” for the first time.

You curl a hand into his hair, soft beneath your fingers, and tug his lips to yours. Dream doesn’t resist, greedily taking in the kiss. He doesn’t pull away completely either, leaving his forehead resting against yours.

“I love you too.” You assure him, then add, “dumbass.”

“I had a plan.” He laments. “I was going to take you to a nice dinner and kiss you Goodnight and say it then.”

The fact you could picture it makes you laugh. Wine and candlelight, because he’s cheesy. It probably wouldn’t have ended with a kiss goodnight—you were both suckers for falling asleep together—but he definitely would’ve still found a way to make it the most romantic confession of love.

And yet, you prefer it this way.

“You can still do that.” You offer, smiling as he steals another kiss from you.

“It’s not the same.”

“I can pretend.”

“It’s still not the same.”

“I’m really good at pretending.”

He laughs, finally, and you’ve won the lottery. “Fine. I’ll surprise you with it.”

Dream pulls away, thinks better of it and gives you another kiss, then resettles to watch the movie again.

“I love you.” You hedge, studying his expression.

“I love you too.” His eyes and smile are soft when he glances at your face. “You’re missing all the good parts.”

“None of it is the good part.”

“Just watch.”

Sighing endearingly, you do as told and tune back into the movie.

[jackdaniel69nice]

Dark shadow is mostly blind that gets worse the brighter it is. It wasn’t as bad when they were younger but their vision has been getting progressively worse over the years. Their eyes are a sensitive area that when hit (both physical and light attacks) actually causes harm and they will need to disappear to recharge. They have trouble reading, drawing, and looking at computers screens but they do these things anyway because they actually like to have fun and won’t let a little pain stop them. They often ask tokoyami to read important things like signs, homework, and even someone’s facial expressions when it’s to hard to deal with.

I know you’re thinking “how can they fight so well then?” Well I think they have the ability to sense the environment around them (sort of like hawks feathers). When DS is disappeared inside tokoyami they can still “sense” what is going on around and hear conversations. The way this sense works could be multiple reasons:

Sensitivity to light means wherever light bounces off of and then hits dark shadow they be able to feel it…this is sort of how eyes work already though so I’m not a fan

Movement and sound causes vibration which they are sensitive to…which is exactly like hawks quirk so still not a fan

Dark Shadow can feel darkness. Light will be blocked where the object is so they can feel it. I like this idea best

In reality it’s probably a mixture of all three of these that gives dark shadow the ability move around so well.

Tokoyami will finally ask Hatsume to make special glasses for Shadow but it will take ages for them to wear them because they are embarrassed. The glasses/goggles will block light as well as enhance the image quality, so basically fancy prescription sunglasses. The only thing unique is that it changes sizes along with dark shadow, who grows in size the darker it is, there is a limit to it’s stretch though. Obviously these are strong enough to protect DS from being hit in the eyes as well.

A final but important point, when Shadow is in a rampage their eyes turn red. This limits their vision even more by literally creating a red haze over everything. They rely heavily on sensing and hearing movement. If you stand still and stay quiet you might live another day ;)

There will be a follow up post about Tokoyami’s vision so stay tuned

[kanerallels]

A little late, but finally, here are my thoughts about MSATD 4x06!

Absolutely LOVE the way it started. Because of course these two would wind up being chased around an abandoned factory by a guy Eliza DRUGGED THIS IS THE THIRD TIME SHE'S POISONED SOMEONE AND I LOVE HER FOR IT

"I used to box for County Harwick" "does that mean something?" "IT MEANS QUITE A LOT" absolutely PERISHING it reminds me of that post about the person who pretended not to know what Harvard was

(also from a writing perspective I loooooooooooove the vibes of just throwing us into the middle/end of a case, showing us that they've been working on quite a few cases together! Plus it's just a fun way of writing things)

I'm very proud of Eliza for working with a large staff well and being able to handle things on her own!

UGH FITZROY'S JERK DAD SHOWED UP I HATE THAT GUY

Okay this was probably my favorite case of the season. The suspense, the way it handled Fitzroy's struggle over being given that promotion, and the culmination was *chef's kiss*

I read this post about how Eliza's allegiance is to the truth, while Nash's isn't to money, but to the memory and legacy of his brother and this episode DEFINITELY hammered that point home! The scene where he was struggling with whether or not to kill that guy? SO well done, Felix Scott has got mad skills

(also while I am not a Patrick x Eliza shipper.... from an objective point of view they had some GOOD moments in this episode)

(I mean come on. "you're the only one who's ever believed in me"? Him putting down the gun for her and only shooting O'Driscoll when he tried to kill Eliza? Those are some pretty immaculate vibes. I'm still ride or die for Williza, but I can see where the Patrick x Eliza shippers are coming from)

(okay and the moment in Patrick's cell where he said that he wanted her to believe he was a good person and she said that would never happen (affectionate), but then he said "Perhaps not. But I'll keep trying anyways"? Giving SERIOUS Rose In Bloom vibes. If you know, you know)

ANYWAYS BACK TO THE PLOT I also really really really LOVED the last scene between Fitzroy and his father. He stood up to him!! And told him that he didn't care if he was disappointed in him!! And the fact that he might not have a lot of ambition wasn't painted as a bad thing!! I LOVED IT A LOT OKAY

Oh also I didn't really like Phelps taking William's place at first, but the idea's grown on me a lot in this past episode. I liked the part where he basically told Fitzroy that he shouldn't be doing this job to get a pat on the back-- while I get where my boy Fitzroy was coming from, and Phelps is definitely a lot harsher than I approve of, it reminded me of a scene in The Rookie. And therefore gets a pass. I also liked the way it showed that Fitzroy and Phelps are at their best when they're working together!

Oh and! I liked the moment where Eliza and Mr. Potts were talking and she finally elected to be honest with him, and that's what won him over. EXCELLENT scene, I really liked it

(also I loved how Fitztroy, when he was Stressed, rubbed his hand over his face like William does. These are the things I obsessively notice. I have issues)

And then I REALLY liked the ending. The whole "Eliza goes to work for Nash" plotline has never been my absolute favorite. It just doesn't feel super true to who she is-- instead of being the only female detective in the city, she's a female detective working under Nash. And while I did enjoy their partnership more than I expected, I'm so glad to see her back in her own office, where she belongs. And she finally changed the name at the top of the sign!!

(and OBVIOUSLY I loved the William flashback at the end)

So overall, this was a really fun season!! Even though I was sad to not have William for the last two episodes, they were still really fun. Eliza and Patrick have great chemistry together on screen, and they're a really fun duo to watch!

Also, even those I missed Moses a LOT, I enjoyed some of the new characters-- namely, Clarence-- and the focus on some of the old ones, like Fitzroy and Phelps!!

And I DEFINITELY can't wait for the next season

[kraeki]

do you think szobo and curtis are good players? we love them as people and all but they get the most criticism online and i always see especially with curtis that he’s overrated. do you think it’s true, honestly?

Hi, sorry for the late answer, you sent this before the Bologna game before the Twitter hive collectively changed its mind about Dom, until the next game at least. But I'm glad I waited because what I was seeing on Twitter after that match helps me make my point in answering you. I ended up accidentally word vomiting though, so my answer is below the cut.

The short answer is that yes I think they are good players. Obviously I am not objective, especially not with Dom, but I would argue that their critics are not objective either.

The Twitter section of the LFC fandom has this weird thing where they can never be happy, they love moaning, sometimes I feel like certain people are almost gleeful after a loss because it gives them a chance to peddle their miserable agendas. But even in good spells they must always have a scapegoat to moan about. Before the season even started I felt like Andy had been picked as the chosen scapegoat by Twitter. Then he has been too good for them to be able to say anything (this will change the moment he has one bad game) so they had to find another scapegoat. Which was Dom until the Bologna game.

Why Dom? Because he was playing badly? No, I actually don't think he was playing badly. He had bad periods in games but others did as well. He just didn't have many wow moments and because he's Dominik Szoboszlai that wasn't good enough. He's putting in good shifts and an essential engine in the team machine but I think Dom is one of our more overly scrutinized and criticized players and I think the reasons for that are threefold: 1) For Hungary he's the star of the show, I don't usually watch their games but from what I've read he almost single handedly wins them some games. Liverpool fans can then be confused and bitter why he isn't doing the same for us, but he's playing a wildly different role in Liverpool, for both teams he's doing what's needed and it's not fair to compare it. 2) He had a crazy good start to his Liverpool career and is a victim of his own success because he set the bar so high that anything that came after that is a disappointment. 3) He's insanely good looking and people don't know how to handle it. It means he's overly talked about and an easy target for jokes and memes. idk if some of these dudes are just attracted to him and their panic about it manifests in hating on him or if they're just resentful of how perfect he is and have to find faults??

Whatever the reason is, it seems like there always has to be discourse about him. He's either the best midfielder in the world and Stevie G reborn or a terrible signing. He's never allowed to just exist and play football at a consistently high level. And it's such a bandwagon effect as well. After the Bologna game a few people started saying that it was unfair how much the fanbase criticized Dom because he hadn't actually done anything to deserve it, and within one hour it seemed like every other account on there was scrambling to put out their own tweet about how underrated his performances have been. The same accounts that were probably calling for him to be benched last week. It just shows how insufferably reactionary the online fanbase is and I'm sick of it. I try not to pay too much attention to player discourse these days because it lacks all nuance and critical thinking.

Now for Curtis, the same reactionary scapegoat principle applies. But I haven't actually seen much criticism about him lately so it's interesting that you have. I think he has a bit the same problem as Dom, that his role in the team is not flashy. He's also a Scouser and while that endears him to the local fans, people have been saying for a long time that the only reason he gets to be in the team is because he's a Scouser and not because of his talent. I feel like this has died a bit down as he's gotten older but maybe the underlying sentiment lingers.

I don't think he's one of our best players, but we have a team of world class players and to answer your question, yes I do think he is a good player and probably underrated. I remember during his best spell last season that you could actually see Liverpool's overall performance statistically increase when he was on the pitch. His big problem is injuries though. Because it seems like he's been in great form multiple times after he manages find his rhythm and consistently starts games and then he always gets injured at the height of hype around him. Like when he was supposed to be called up to the senior England squad last March after he'd been so good for us and then he got injured and lost his chance. Heartbreaking.

I really didn't mean to write so much but here we are. Once upon a time you had plenty of bad players in Liverpool but we are very privileged now because you don't get to become a Liverpool player now if you aren't actually at a top club level.

The bottom line is that online football discourse is toxic and idiotic as hell. I wish more people just supported our players. You can point out their mistakes and criticize them without going all out with "get out of my clerb" stuff. And actually I also think Liverpool fans don't need to point out every single mistake or bad game our players have. We have opp fans to do that. We don't hype up our players enough and that's why our world class players are consistently so disrespected in the media and in awards.

You're a hero if you read this far, but yeah I think they're good players and not overrated!

[uncaught-coolfish]

ok ok imo there was defo some planning to the bees becoming canon and to deny that is kinda silly to me. that doesn’t mean that planning and eventual execution was good.

•Yang losing her arm is apparently a “sign of her love for Blake” because of that line Adam had in V3? …I thought y’all despised his ass, when did we start believing a word that came out of his mouth??

•On that note, paralleling the two, when the latter was literally the abuser of the former’s current gf, is…..😬

•Also on that note, the objective infantilizing of Blake. All she really does now is whimper and be meek around Yang until another “bee moment” or until the plot remembers to use her for something. Yes, because turning this once feisty character into this shy nervous little meow meow who can’t even fight on her own anymore after she’s revealed to have been an abuse victim is totally not gross.

•Yang prioritizes her new GF over her little sister who is clearly in a horrible headspace, and when she finally breaks down, instead of attempting to calm her down or console her she steps in front of a COWERING BLAKE and just says “Hey!”. YOU TWO ARE BOTH OLDER THAN HER WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS

•The scene in which they finally confess was literally forced out of them by a storm. I…I thought we learned to not do this? Guys? Um…

•The 10 year queerbaiting smugly disguised as “planned from the start uwu” that Voltron Legendary Fucking Defender wishes it could have achieved. Does that mean it was always planned that you’d write your hatesink character to have been a branded child slave? Does that mean it was always planned that you’d write the confession of these two’s love for each other to have been forced out of them? Does that mean it was always planned that you’d confirm your main queer couple two episodes before said couple did nothing to save their 17 year old leader from taking her own life on screen?

•Saying the quiet part out loud when an employee tweeted that “The bee kiss alone hopefully green lights V10.”

•Also, the immediate merchandising of it. Ugh.

Before I go on, no I do not believe the bees were “forced diversity”. No I do not believe Adam was killed to push it (he was killed because the writers wanted a quick way for people to forget how abhorrently racist this show fucking got anyways). No I do not believe this is a bad pairing, and if you accuse me of being an [insert hetero Blake/Yang ship here], I ship fucking Monochrome and Thundercats, dude. But what about the rest of this show’s LGBT representation? Is it any b

No.

•Our first on screen rep is in the form of Ilia. I really like Ilia, genuinely, she’s honestly one of my favorite characters. But why did they write their first lesbian character in the “psycho lesbian” trope? Also, why did their first indigenous character start out as a villain who had to be redeemed by learning violent protest bad all lives matter and ANYWAYS—

•Coco leers at women and her allusion is a fucking Nazi. She sucks. •The wives from V6 (Terracotta-Arcs??) are fine. Probably the most decent rep we’ve got, even if they were just a one off thing. They’re cute and I’m happy for em. Slay.

•We’ve got a single gay man in the entire cast (Scarlet) and he’s confirmed in a book. A single gay dude in a show infamous for its character bloat. Obviously we know why but man.

•3 non-binary characters. 1 is in a spin-off, 2 are animals. In this latest volume in which the last two are present, one is revealed to be a villain, and the other goes out Green Mile style. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay….

•And lastly, May. I also do like May! However, her character is not the problem.

What is the problem with all of this, no mater what, is the people, company, making this show.

Rooster Teeth is not your friend. Rooster Teeth does not care about you, or putting that loving care into representation.

Why are half of the villains disabled? Why are half of the villains in universe minorities? Why are half of the villains POC? Why are half of the villains a combination of two or all three of those traits?

Why is the only freedom fighting, minority rights organization terrorists? Why does their WOC leader die the scene we meet her? And why is her killer revealed to have been in fucking slavery the same episode he dies on screen in? And why is this organization taken as a serious threat, while two openly racist antagonists are portrayed as goofy and comical?

Why are any and all plus-sized characters portrayed as jokes? Why does the disabled-coded girl get her disability ripped away from her so she can “truly be human”? Why does another disabled character have him losing an arm to mean he’s lost his humanity? Why does this show portray so many misandristic tropes? Why does this show portray so many misogynistic tropes?

Why was this show’s first LGBT character a villain? Why was the next based off a Nazi? Why are two out of their three non-binary characters animals, and why have those two either been “killed” or turned into villains? Why is there only one gay man in this huge cast?

And why is it so many just let it slide that, while before and during the production of the volumes featuring the show’s first transgender character, Rooster Teeth treated and abused that character’s VA like absolute garbage?

Are the lives of those real people less important than those sweet, sweet “bee moments”?

In conclusion, the bees were not forced. I am glad they are canon. But I am not glad that it has nearly managed to conceal all the deplorable shit the racist, homophobic and awful company behind it has done.

[witchofimber]

Certain Dark Things

I'm being deliberately coy about tagging this, but cw for vomit and gore and lots of sadness

James didn’t show up drunk.  

Remus had expected him to. Had told Sirius the night before - “You can drink as much as you want tonight. But tomorrow morning, you need to be sober.”  

Sirius had opened the whiskey with his teeth. “Fuck. You.”  

“Yeah, I’m a real bitch. Making sure that James doesn’t have to deal with his sloppy-drunk best friend at the – you know what? Forget it. Do whatever you want.”  

“James is going to be drunk!” yelled Sirius as Remus stalked away.  

“James gets to!” He’d slammed the door behind him.  

Once upon a time their bickering had had a warmth to it. Another thing to be buried.  

So Sirius wasn’t drunk, but neither was James, and somehow that was worse. He stood there, one step in front of Sirius and Remus, his face hard and cold as a marble saint. He didn’t even seem to feel the rain.  

Everyone knew what James had done. Everyone, and no one was talking about it. But Sirius and Remus were the only ones who had the truth of it; the full, bloody extent. Moody had pulled them into his office three days ago and showed them the crime scene photographs.  

“I’m not going to arrest anyone over this,” he’d said. “And as far as I’m concerned, I don’t know who did this. It’s a cold case. It’ll be lost in the system by the end of the month.” 

“I don’t understand,” said Sirius. “There’s a fucking war on, why would anyone be - “ 

Remus trod on his foot. “Thank you, Alistair.” 

“Remus, are you - “ 

“Look,” he hissed. “Sirius, look at the fucking photos.”  

Sirius looked. And looked. Even when Moody pulled them back into the folder, Sirius kept his eyes on the woodgrain of the table where the image had been. Remus didn’t need to. Those images had burrowed inside him, squatting nestled in his cortex to writhe like maggots. He’d never be free of them again. 

Moody had swallowed, coughed. “I just – they'll disappear, like I said. But I thought someone should probably know.” 

After that, Sirius had started drinking about it. Remus had stuck to chain-smoking and staring at the walls and occasionally walking around his flat and calmly, methodically breaking things. He was running low on smokes and plates and patience.  

Lily’s sister was there. She’d left her husband at home but bought her baby, and Remus wanted to beat her bloody just for that. Halfway through the service the little brat had started crying, and James had given his first sign of life. A single flex of his fingers. Like he almost reached out.  

Now they were outside and the sister – Petunia, that was it – was giving James little half-glances out of the corner of her eye, like she wasn’t sure whether she should speak to him or not. Remus bared his teeth at her until she looked away. No one was getting near James.  

The parson was still talking, something sombre and soothing. The priest had been a mistake. Watching anyone talk about God at a time like this was laughable, obscene. All of this was obscene – the Weasleys clutching each other’s hands, and Amelia Bones probably already writing a press conference about this in her head like the dark could be pushed back through sensible legislation, and Alice Longbottom curled in on herself like a dying flower, with Dumbledore hovering protectively behind her. Dumbledore would want to talk to him afterward, find out what he’d learnt when he was undercover with the Yorkshire pack. The mission he’d blown, because he’d heard the news and come running. Well, Dumbledore could eat shit.  

Three days ago, he and Sirius had fucked for the last time. It had been awful – emotionally, obviously, but also just objectively bad sex. Out of rhythm, teeth gritted, eyes closed. Remus had dug his hands into Sirius’s hips and thought I have to know, I have to -  

After, lying back-to-back, he’d asked, “Why didn’t James tell me you’d switched the secret keeper?”  

“Because we thought you were the traitor.” He didn’t roll over, didn’t even look at Remus. Remus considered screaming, or cursing him, or punching him in the kidneys. Instead he just got out of bed. There wasn’t much point in doing otherwise.  

The parson paused. Everyone was looking at them – no, at James. There was something expected here. Words? No, James had said he didn’t want to speak.  

Sirius coughed. “James, it’s time to - “ 

“I know.” His voice was the closing of a great cell door. “I know.”  

James bent, digging his fingers through a mound of earth. He stretched out his arm. And then he stood, paralysed. A single crumb of earth teetered, toppled, was caught with his thumb.  

The moment stretched, lingered. Everyone was frozen in amber, waiting for James to make his move. Cry, Remus found himself begging. Cry, scream, something. Just don’t follow them down.  

And then James gasped like he’d been punched and dropped the dirt.  

It was tradition. That’s what you did at funerals, you let the loved ones scatter the earth, close the grieving, some Christian bullshit that Remus didn’t remember. But he covered his mouth against a scream as it fell.  

Lily’s coffin gleamed darkly, swallowing the dirt into ink. It was a fine thing, even finer because it was so exactly itself – a box, a prop, an object you understood from Halloween cut-outs and film scenes before you ever had to face one in life. If you worked hard, you could say it wasn’t real. You could pretend there was no one inside.  

But the coffin on top was too small. You couldn’t unknow its contents. You couldn’t unknow the dimensions of the tiny body inside.  

And the cruelty, the useless cruelty of – of making a man start to bury his wife and son.  

“We pray - “ said the parson, and suddenly James was spinning on his heel, stalking down the hill and away from the church. Dumbledore moved forward, and Remus barked ‘NO’ and set off after James, Sirius dogging his heels. Nobody followed them. It was either cowardice or mercy.  

The mud sent him and Sirius slipping into each other. James’s footsteps were sure. Even the earth seemed to give way for his passage. And hadn’t he earned it? What could dirt do in the face of such grief? The trees of the little copse by the graveyard seemed to snatch away from him, even as they flung themselves into Sirius and Remus’s faces. The thorns that raked his cheek were almost a relief. It was something to feel. He hadn’t felt anything since the news.  

James stopped by the fence, hands gripping the gnarled wood. Remus stopped; Sirius didn’t. He was at James’s side in a second, all careful hands and cooing voice, so unlike anything he’d ever been with Remus. It was enough to make one hate Sirius. Remus felt the bitterness in his throat. There were thoughts that should send you straight to hell, and he had one then. I’m the least loved now. To think that at a funeral. He had deserved Greyback. He had deserved everything, and maybe Sirius had too, but James hadn’t. James, who had been kind.  

I don’t even know what some of these spells are, Moody had said.  

“James,” murmured Sirius, and then James turned and vomited in the dirt.  

Remus stared at that red, wet mound. There had been nothing recognisable in the images Moody had shown them. Human mince. No hand that had once followed Remus’s in Charms; no mouth that had once said we could call it the Marauder’s Map. Wait – there had been an eyeball, anointed in a halo of gristle and bone. Pale blue, bloodshot. Like he’d been crying when he died.  

I’ve seen a lot of shit, Moody had said, but I didn’t know magic could do that to a body. 

Too late, always too late, Remus stumbled forward. “We’re here, James. If you want to – talk.”  

Stupid. Fucking stupid. What could there possibly be to say? What could language do, what was its point, in a world where this could happen, where high on the hill that grave was being filled? They should line up the whole world and cut out their tongues. Harry is dead. Let that be the last sentence.  

“No.” James straightened up, vanished the vomit with a wave of his hand. Remus almost wished for it back. Evidence of humanity. There was nothing in his face that had ever loved. It was like looking out into the far whistling plains of being, great dark vistas of emotion where terrible things moved in the shadows. Frank Longbottom had faced those depths and gone insane. Frank might have been lucky.  

We had to put him down ourselves, said Moody. There was nothing else to be done. We couldn’t heal him but – it was still moving.  

“No,” said James again. “I don’t want to talk. I want to win this war.”  

[gaiusbunnymask]

rewatch commentary: the dragon's call

(look at this shot! I looks like a Renaissance painting)

"If I can't use magic, what have I got?"

Merlin arrives at Camelot feeling lost, inadequate and purposeless and I think that's what makes him vulnerable to Gaius and Kilgahrrah's ideas of destiny. EVEN if what the dragon is saying it's true, the timing is really suspicious.

He used to want recognition too, wanted to be someone. He thinks that his magic is the only thing that makes him special, that gives him power over bullies like Arthur, but since the world sees him as something strange and dangerous and rejects his existence, he wonders if he's a monster that shouldn't exist.

That's why it's so easy for him to believe everything the dragon tells him, because he wanted to have some higher purpose. He wanted someone to tell him he was born like that for a reason. It's the beginning of his tragedy.

"I saw how you saved Arthur's life. Perhaps that's his purpose."

Gaius' dubious beliefs/morality about purpose, destiny, and the purpose of Merlin's magic. He was on board with Merlin using his magic to protect Arthur even though he had reprimanded Merlin for using magic recklessly before, and that Arthur is the son of the man that started the Purge. He equals using magic for good to supporting the royal family, which is... not good actually.

My headcanon is that Gaius was/is against dark magic and the abuse of it, but the Purge did more than just condemn dark sorcerers and destroy objects with dark magic, and it turned into something he didn't expect and didn't fully support. Not saying he supported the Purge but he wasn't as pro-magic as Nimueh, for example. He may have helped others escape but he stayed in Camelot and served Uther for 20 years so that says a lot about him.

"An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a son for a son!"

It seems to me that Mary Collins was a dark witch?? I'm guessing that practicing dark magic is what gave her that ghastly appearance (yes they also needed the audience to differentiate her from lady Helen because it was the same actress) but it says something about the state of magic in Camelot that most of the sorcerers we'll find later show the same signs of corruption.

Not saying Uther was right to attack all magic and all sorcerers for that, of course not, but Gaius did say that dark magic was running rampant before the purge, and honestly? It's not a surprise. If magic is a tool then people can use it to do bad things. This was probably what gave Uther leverage to carry on with the purge. Obviously the solution to that would be to have laws that condemn acts of dark magic that hurt people. But instead most dark sorcerers probably were able to lay low and hide whereas people like the druids and less powerful sorcerers where easy to capture and execute.

"When I came to this land this kingdom was mired in chaos."

Uther is a very very smart politician, at least on this episode. He beheads a sorcerer/the son of a witch, and right after the fact the announces a festival. This is a show of his power. It reinforces his authority and the idea that the persecution of magic is a good thing, that he's the savior of the land, the protector of the realm, for ridding it from the evil of sorcery. And since it's the anniversary of the capture of the great dragon, it also serves a a reminder.

"No, I'm his son, Arthur."

Arthur was not present at the execution of Mary Collins' son, nor is he there to welcome "lady Helen". Uther forced Morgana to attend but it seems that Arthur can skip it if he wants. I wonder why Uther allowed it? "Lady Helen" doesn't meet Arthur until the night of the banquet where she tries to kill him. I'm just wondering about Arthur, making it his mission to be absent from as many official occasions as possible.

It seems that he used to spend all his time training and bullying helpless servants. No wonder Merlin didn't recognized him as royalty the first time they met.

"He needed to be taught a lesson."

Merlin is very very impulsive. He falls for Arthur's taunts really easy, and he just got out of the dungeons! I think this is not the first time he put a bully in his place/taught them a lesson. He was at odds with the people in Ealdor, where it seems he used his magic more freely. If he was going around "taking bullies apart with one blow", no wonder Hunith was worried.

"The more brutal you are the more enemies you'll create."

Morgana's conversation with Uther was another scene I liked. It established the foundation of her character quite well. Her standing by the window staring at the chopping block for who knows how long it's a thought that haunts me.

It seems she copes by wearing pretty and scandalous dresses that make her look stunning.

Final thoughts:

I was surprised by how much I liked the episode. This is the third time I watched it and I didn't know I would find it enjoyable, but I did! the music, the cinematography, the script (its lovely plotholes ♥) the acting! (Eve Myles' performance was superb) the peak comedy! There was a lot of foreshadowing too. Merlin and Gaius, Merlin and Gwen, and of course Merlin and Arthur are great comedic duos. overall the first episode it's really fun.