#but it is also easy for me to hide behind because anything actually personal and friendly means

[readymades2002]

i do love analysing media and art and unfortunately this is where i am most confident talking and i am very bad at stuff like: talking normally and like a person fostering relationships in the world with other people

[lovecla]

TAKE YOUR PAIN AWAY | quinn hughes.

chapter seven:

<last chapter> <next chapter>

➴ chapter warnings: mention of depression/depressive episodes, calories, bad relationship with food and shitty family, hurt/comfort.

➴ word count: 2.3k

💌 from me to you: and now, TYPA has officially surpassed IYLMLMK word count!! how are we feeling about that? i’m feeling like the world’s biggest yapper ever but i just feel like quinn and maddie’s relationship reaches a whole other level of love and intimacy and i want u guys to feel that. by the end of this story, please let me know (hah) if i reached my goal :) enjoy this chapter and ily all so much! wrote this while listening to madison beer and while it was raining, cannot think of a better combo. also, this chapter hurts and heals me at the same time, and i hope it does the same to you.

౨ৎ

2024, MAY.

“THIS ISN’T much casual of us, is it?” you joke as you leave the car, opening the back door so you could get Bella while Quinn got your bags.

“Where’s the fun in being casual?” he jokes back, making you bite your lips, trying to hide your smile.

You and Quinn had decided to start over again, and take it easy. You were best friends and he knew you like no one else, but you grew up and, even if you didn’t want to admit it, you’d changed.

When he suggested that you go out for date nights and things people do whenever they want to be with someone, you thought that it would be a great idea. Spending time with him was one of your favorite things about living in Vancouver, so there was nothing to worry about.

Until he started to ask questions– nothing unexpected, just things like “is your favorite color still blue?” (no, I prefer purple now,) or “do you still like chocolate chip pancakes?” (more than I like myself, really,). And in the beginning it hadn’t bothered you, no, it had actually made you feel happy, wanted.

Until you remembered who you’d become.

After he and his family left, it was just you and your thoughts alone with each other, both wanting to run away but stuck inside your head. It was the things you heard from your mom, the fact that she liked to remind you that you were nothing but a shadow inside your own family and unless you were perfection itself, you wouldn’t have anything more than what she was willing to give you.

It was hearing your father, who barely spoke to you, yell at you for the tiniest things and look at you like you were the worst thing that has ever happened to him.

It was watching Peter, who once had been your best friend, your rock, your safe person, distancing himself from you, ignoring you whenever you spoke to him, leaving the sink full of dishes whenever that housekeeper wasn’t around because he knew you’d be the one cleaning them.

It was too much, and you were only fifteen. You were alone, with nothing but your thoughts and the intense, obsessive stalking of Quinn’s Instagram account, trying to understand why it was so easy for people to leave you behind.

But you didn’t blame him, or your family, how could you? It was all your doing. Maybe if you hadn’t spent too much time at the Hughes’ house, maybe if you hadn’t asked Peter to play with you so much, maybe if you were thinner and more like the models that worked at your mom’s magazine, maybe if you had been born a boy who also went to Med school, like your brother, then maybe, just maybe, things would’ve been different.

And then you moved to Los Angeles and just when you thought that things would get better, that you would get better, it all starts again. The dark days where you couldn’t do anything besides laying on your bed all day, sleeping for hours and eating perhaps a single meal per day– when and if you managed to get out of bed.

Showering became a dreadful thought because just the idea of seeing yourself in the mirror made you want to disappear. Realizing that the girl who once loved everything she touched, the girl that wore her heart outside of her body like an accessory turned into this lifeless body that rotted in bed for days made your stomach hurt and the tears run down your face.

Nicholas had been the one who helped you get out of that dark, evil place your mind had trapped you in, even when he didn’t know the reason behind it. He suggested that you should adopt a dog, the idea initially making you laugh because “I don’t want to can barely take care of myself, Nicholas, why should I adopt another living being?”. But he said that maybe you just needed a reason to keep going, and a pet could be one.

You ignored his advice, because it sounded ridiculous to you. But, one day, when you were on your way home from work, you walked past a shelter and decided to just take a look– leaving an hour later after a long cuddle session with the old dogs and Bella in your arms, eyes wet with tears when you noticed her sitting by herself, alone.

I know what it feels like, you answered when one of the workers asked you what made you choose her.

And she helped you get better, day by day, week after week. You finally spoke more than five words a week and you weren’t sleeping by yourself for the first time in years.

It felt nice to take care of someone.

But even though you got better, some days that sad, ugly feeling still made your skin crawl and your head hurt. It still came back, it still made you feel like shit.

And you didn’t want people to see that, you didn’t want Quinn to see that.

You knew that he would worry and try to find a way of helping you, just like he did whenever you had a sad day when you were younger, but you couldn’t do that to him, it wasn’t fair.

Besides that, you’re going to leave Canada in September. This thing you had going on with Quinn, no matter how happy it made you, was temporary, it wasn’t meant to last forever.

So you had to make sure that the time you spent with him was anything but perfect.

“This is so pretty” you compliment the cabin he had rented for the weekend, your first weekend off ever since you started working with your favorite brand, watching Bella roll on the green grass. “Feels like a movie.”

Quinn chuckles, opening the door for you and Bella before he gets inside with your and his bags.

If you thought the outside was pretty, the inside was ten thousand times better. The interior was a mix of stone with dark wood, the walls covered with floor to ceiling windows and the floor filled with fluffy, warm rugs. The living room couch could perfectly fit twenty people, and the kitchen had the most beautiful view you’d ever seen.

Bella started running around the second you unleashed her, jumping on the couch and sniffing the rugs, going upstairs and barking happily.

“I think Bella also likes the place,” you smile, getting closer to Quinn and kissing his cheek. “Thank you.”

He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer before initiating a sweet, gentle kiss, briefly caressing your tongue with his. He tasted like coffee and toothpaste, a weird mixture that you couldn’t get enough of.

“Don’t need to thank me, sweets,” he whispers against your lips before giving you a peck. “I asked the owners to fill up the pantry with baking stuff. I know you like to bake when you’re stressed.”

Your first instinct was to deny that you were stressed and say that you were just fine, but as always, he could see right through you. It had been a stressful week, with weird schedules and locations, besides getting used to living in another city, again.

But you thought you were doing a great job at hiding your true feelings from Quinn.

Well. Maybe not.

“I’m much better now,” you answer, not exactly lying. You are much better now. “But I guess it won’t hurt to bake a pie or two.”

“Great.” He hugs you closer, resting his chin on the top of your head. “Let’s organize our things, and you’re free to go.”

You smile, excited to forget about your responsibilities for two days straight.

౨ৎ

BAKING FOR Quinn was now your favorite activity.

He didn’t try to get in your way like most people do whenever they see someone cooking, no. He sat on one of the stools and played with Bella while you explained to him the steps for baking the most perfect blueberry lattice pie in the entire world.

You noticed something while spending these past few weeks with Quinn: whenever you were around him, it was like calories and dieting didn’t matter. It was almost as if that voice that lived inside of your brain, who liked to remind you that you shouldn’t, couldn’t gain weight— because then you wouldn’t be perfect, the only thing your mom wanted for you— vanished, and only nice thoughts remained.

You have read about this before, in books and posts online— about people getting better because of other people. And even though you knew it was possible for someone to enjoy living again because of something (it happened with you and Bella), the thought of getting better because of another person hadn’t crossed your mind before having Quinn back in your life again.

It was nice.

The pie was ready after an hour and a half, looking deliciously tasty and perfect, which made you smile and snap a bunch of pictures of it.

You and Quinn sat down at the living room table, watching the sun setting through the windows and arguing with each other about which place had the nicest sunset: Vancouver or Los Angeles. You cut him a slice, which earned you a quick peck on your lips and a raspy thank you, watching as he munched on the pie, satisfied with his pleased reaction.

“This is my first time eating blueberry pie ever since you left.”

Quinn’s statement makes you pause, fork mid air, a slice of pie falling back onto your place.

You frown, confused. “What do you mean? You spent the last seven years without eating your favorite pie? Why?”

“What made this pie my favorite one was the fact that you were the one baking it,” he laughs humorlessly, staring at the half eaten slice on his plate. “When my mom tried making it for me a few years ago, I ended up snapping at her and earning a slap from my dad.”

“That wasn't very nice of you,” you chuckle, putting the fork down. “But I get what you mean. After you left I–” I stopped caring about everything else. “I stopped baking. Mom didn’t appreciate how caloric my food was and my dad—” he called my cooking disgusting once. “Well, he’s not a fan of sweets.”

“I’m sorry.” He apologies, and you’re not even sure why.

“What? No, it’s fine, you didn’t do anything wrong by leaving—”

“I meant I’m sorry about your family.”

You stare at him, fighting back the tears that immediately formed in your eyes. Blinking them away, you shrug.

“It’s fine.”

“It isn’t, Maddie, and you know it.” He grabs your hand underneath the table, running his thumb up and down on the back of your hand, the familiar touch making you smile.

“They’re the only family I have,” you tried to sound playful, only being half successful. “It’s alright, Quinny, I swear. Besides, we’re not here to talk about my family.” you change the topic quickly, not wanting to ruin the vibe with stories about your not so happy family.

He raises his right eyebrow at you. “Then why are we here?”

“Bella, look at him asking dumb questions,” you turn around, talking to Bella who was currently extremely busy destroying her carrot shaped toy on the carpet. “We’re here to watch my favorite movies and drink hot chocolate.”

“It’s May,” he points out.

“And?”

“It’s almost summer. No one drinks hot chocolate in May,”

“Oh my God, should we call the police? Should we invite Willy Wonka?” you laugh, getting off the chair. “Come on. I know you want it.”

“Do I at least get to choose the movie?” he theatrically sighs, also getting off the chair and following you around the gigantic cabin.

“I’ll see what I can do for you.”

You end up letting him choose the movie while you prepared the hot chocolate, which later you would regret, because he had chosen The Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, a movie that you had never seen before and will probably never watch again.

You were sitting beside him, trying your hardest to hide your tears and sniffles, because, surprisingly, Quinn looked like he was enjoying the depressing, extremely sad movie.

But you probably weren’t doing a great job because— “Baby?”

You only hum, hiding your face in your knees.

“Oh, my sweet girl,” he whispers, changing his position on the couch, grabbing your hand and pulling you close to his chest, adjusting your body so you were lying on top of him, face buried in his neck. “There’s no need for you to cry, baby.”

“‘M sorry,” you mumble, feeling embarrassed and somewhat childish for breaking out like this in front of him, when he was clearly enjoying the movie.

“What are you sorry for? There’s nothing wrong with crying because you’re sad,” he kisses your temple, wrapping his hand around your waist and pulling one of your thighs up, fitting you perfectly against him. “I should be the one saying sorry. I saw Jim Carrey and thought the movie was going to be funny.”

You let out a wet chuckle, inhaling his comforting scent and wishing you could stay like this forever.

He runs his thumb on your cheeks, wiping the tears away. You feel him moving around and suddenly the movie’s sounds stop, and you wonder what he’s doing, too lazy to look up and see it for yourself.

But after Mabel’s characteristic laugh, you find yourself smiling and lifting your head to stare at Gravity Falls playing on the huge TV.

“Do you still like this dumbass cartoon?” Quinn asks, making you smile wider.

“It’s not dumb. And, yeah, it’s still my favorite.”

“Good.”

After that you both stay quiet for a long time, the only sounds coming from Bella’s snores, the TV, and occasionally, your laugh.

Quinn knew exactly what to do with you, even when not even you knew what had— needed— to be done. He held you close that night and your heart felt lighter and steadier.

You wanted to be his.

So. Bad.

౨ৎ

liked by vic_alonso, justinbieber, lhughes_06 and 701,013 others

madisoncarter spring day

View all 3,082 comments

user1 ?????????

user1 MADISON WHAT THE HELL

vic_alonso Oooooh myyy goddd

maddiecarter_updates Is this a soft launch? What?

user2 maddiecarter_updates you know shit is bad when even maddiecarterupdates is confused 😭

user3 let’s not assume things guys omg leave her alone

user7 madison you’re going to get fatter with all these carbs xx

jackhughes user7 fuck off.

user4 GUYS LOOK AT QUINN’S STORY

user5 user4 LMFAO THEYRE NOT EVEN HIDING IT

user6 user4 I’m losing the idgaf war…

user8 user4 DID YOU GUYS SEE JACK’S COMMENT WHICH ONE OF THE HUGHES IS SHE BANGING

_quinnhughes added a new story!

taglist: @hischierswhore @ru-kru @alwaysclassyeagle @he6rtshaker @nope-i-am-done @nngkay 🤎

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here. I was reading blogs and came across a couple narratives that I wanna give my opinion on for what it's worth. The idea that Luke and Nic are fighting because he didn't like her recent post. The thing that I find most hilarious is I have seen so many people shaming others for assuming more is going on BTS then what we the public are seeing. yet people have made it up in their heads that L and N are fighting. So it's okay for you to think there some big beef but it's not okay to think L and N are in some type of relationship. In order to assess this you kinda have to look at habits. Guys if you look back at a lot of Luke SM habits on insta he doesn't always like everything she post. Maybe it didn't come across his FYP. Or maybe he was told not to like it. I will tell you what I did notice. Luke as I said doesn't like every post of Nic. The other photos that he didn't like were Galway and Brazil. Both places clearly held a lot of meaning for them. So in my delusional state I'm going to go an assume it's the same reasoning. Now Nic is human as we all know. She is flawed and imperfect. But I will be forward in saying if Luke not liking a post of hers actual bothered her she would let him know. She doesn't seem to be that insecure that a like on a SM post would affect her. Now I can honestly say we have all met those woman that demand that but not all woman need a like. I would rather you be there for me in person and tell me in person then make it an obligation. That you must like every post is an obligation that is given. So how does it hold any type of meaning then if a man is only liking a post out of obligation? It takes away any type of meaning and makes it the same as brushing your teeth daily. Also I find this narrative to be very dangerous the idea that Luke chose someone else over Nic. I have one question for those that think this. Have any of you ever dated someone you were extremely close to? And don't tell me they aren't close. You don't know that. They have alluded to hanging out without camera around in interviews. But moving from friends to lovers is an actual scary step. If things end badly you lose your BFF so yes that step should be thought over and discussed. So how do we know they have discussed it? How do we know if they have even stated how they felt? Feelings like this aren't always easy to convey. It's fine to make assumptions. It's understandable to want to explore the reasoning on why they do things. But just remember no one actual knows. But some of these narratives have brought a lot of hate on Luke and Nic and that's all they are narratives. Now my opinion has always been like that on LukolaBrainrot. I think a lot more is happening BTS. We just have to be patient. This isn't our relationship. We aren't celebrities. They have a team of people behind them. They have got this figured out, and I truly believe they will tell us when they are ready.

Thank you Calm Theory Anon!!

I'm just going add a couple more of my thoughts about the last couple of weeks. Note: This is all SPECULATION from the evidence of the last couple of weeks. I feel pretty confident though in my theories. Heads up, this is going to be long:

I firmly believe L was with N in NYC. Did we see him... no. Did we see JD... yes. That's not new though, and signals to me there is nothing to hide there and keep private. We can argue all we want about the handholding video, it doesn't change my opinion. Was I caught off guard... yes, very much so. But it doesn't confirm anything (JUST LIKE PAPGATE DIDN'T ACTUALLY CONFIRM L/A WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP), and I feel more confident than ever that that is one of her closest FRIENDS. If you don't believe that though, I know I won't be able to convince you otherwise. People have also argued that there would have been a sighting (photo/video) of L in NY if he was there. Y'ALL, there were NUMEROUS unconfirmed "sightings" of L while they were in NY... from NY itself, to Cyprus, to Brighton, to Scotland, etc. We have had ZERO in real time photos or videos of him since Sorrento. There's a reason for that... the man is GOOD at being incognito (when he doesn't have people around him blowing up his location in real time). And he's DEFINITELY more famous in London. Period. So if he has been able to go incognito in London for two months, he can go incognito in NY for a week. I'm also going to say this. N stands out a lot more than L, and is a lot more recognizable. I think L can kind of blend into the crowd easier. AND DM just seems to HATE N. Lastly, L/N 100% coordinated those travel posts. They are BOTH smart people and know their fans. They wanted us to know they were in NY together. They wanted us to see that her claddagh is on her left hand now. They wanted us to see the pic of L in N's house while she was getting ready with a ring on his ring finger. They wanted us to see a red bag in the background of her hair product story (regardless if that was the same red bag from L's Brb story). These clues are not subtle. Like the fact is they are in a relationship, and personally, I think they have been for a whileeee. But there appears to be a certain subsection of this fandom that just refuses to listen to the public narrative that L/N have been putting out about each other. And this is how we ended up with the handholding video debacle. A lot of celebs never even give crumbs/clues about their relationship until they are officially public. L/N know their fandom though and knew we would have fun with it. We should consider ourselves very lucky that they catered to us this way. They didn't have to. I don't think they hate MOST of their fandom, but I do think there is a certain subsection of this fandom that has been VERY toxic and they are VERY frustrated with. Which is totally valid.

This leads me to L's story today with the Mayfair comment. The fact is is that there is a VERY good chance that pic was not taken in real time [please do your own research to know why]... I think the point was that he wanted to add to what N said at the Time Award this week and confirm that they are back in Bton mode. Doesn't confirm that they are back in London though. Could they be? Yes. Could they still be in the U.S.? Yes. I think he also wanted to follow up regarding A's SM blast yesterday and reiterate they are no longer connected despite the games she plays that I am almost certain is included in her NDA. He also turned off comments pretty quickly on this story. He hasn't done that at all this summer [I believe] with his stories or posts, despite the onslaught of hate he has received this summer on SM. I think him and N have been testing the water since August to gauge where the fandom was at with their feelings about them as a couple, and wanted to try and minimize the backlash they will receive when they go public. The fact is is that it is pretty common for celebrity couples to receive a certain amount of backlash when they go public (the amount is what varies depending on the situation). With THIS fandom though, and everything that has gone down publicly since the London premiere, there will 100% be backlash from some when L/N go public. I think the comments being off is because L is setting the stage to announce their relationship, and let the cards fall as they may. And comments will be turned OFF. L/N will probably have a certain amount of hate sent to them for a few weeks, as well as adjacent people in their life, but people will get over it. I could be wrong of course, but I have a very strong feeling that they are setting the stage to just announce their relationship. I originally had the expectation that they were planning to go public at some point in NY, but I think what was my own lack of patience more than anything lol I think it was just setting the stage for a public announcement that wouldn't overshadow her accomplishment after they get back from NY. But he wanted people to know (who were paying attention) that he was with her and supporting her during this big moment (even if we weren't going to see them together). I am going to say this one more time. We can argue all we want about the coordinated travel posts, and project out whatever narrative makes us feel better and ease our anxieties. The fact is L/N aren't stupid. They know their fans. They coordinated those posts. They wanted us to know they were in NY together. They wanted us to see the rings. Because they are in a relationship. Period. No one can convince me otherwise atp.

This brings me to my last point... the handholding debacle. N lost control of her public narrative with that. It's just a fact. Her privacy was also violated. Also a fact. I don't believe she was as well prepared as she should have been for the amount of attention she was going to receive in NY, or the frenzy around her and JD. This had to have been a difficult experience for her and everyone involved. Unfortunately, I believe a lot of the interest in a particular group of the fandom has been almost solely on trying to prove that N is in a relationship. She is not defined by who she is dating. L is not defined by who he is dating. No one is defined by who they are dating. So I think N responded impulsively because she was fed up with all of this speculation about who she is dating (when I feel like she has made it pretty clear what is going on for her in that department) and the invasion of her privacy. This is also why I believe it was very strategically planned for neither L NOR JD to interact with her Time post for a while. BECAUSE THAT AWARD WAS ALL ABOUT HER AND HER ACCOMPLISHMENT. It wasn't about them. And eventually L did like it... he was literally with her though the whole trip y'all. Sure he congratulated her in person 😉 And he made sure to put the like so people wouldn't flip out and start spewing that they are beefing and hated each other and whatever other misinformation people would have come up with if he hadn't have liked her post. I think it is also strategic that JD hasn't liked her post yet, because I think he is trying to publicly distance himself from the narrative that was spewed about him and N last weekend. I bet he has also privately congratulated N though as well!

I definitely understand, last weekend was a MAJOR whiplash of emotions. However, I feel like a lot of this fandom reacts emotionally before having all the information (I know I am guilty of that as well sometimes). That is why I took a little break this week from the blog, because I was having a lot of emotions and didn't have enough information at the time to really understand what was going on. I also think there are a lot of narratives put out there in this fandom that are put forth as facts, without a lot of evidence backing it up. And it has turned really toxic in some spheres and led to troubling behavior (ex: the handholding video). I mentioned that I do think N wasn't as prepared as she should have been for the attention she was going to receive in NY (and the coordinated travel posts announcing L/N were going to NY probably didn't help the frenzy), but that behavior from the fan was troubling and not alright.

These are human beings, their lives are messy and complicated just like everyone else's. We also don't actually know these people, and I think we have a lot of questions still, and get anxious that we aren't interpreting information correctly. I have mentioned this before, but I am a VERY jaded person when it comes to the human species. I truly think L/N seem to be very kind and genuine people though, and I don't think they would do a bunch of things just to f*ck with their fans (although they have LOTS of reasons to be upset at some of this fandom). If the dating rumors were totally false, they wouldn't have started feeding into it again in August and would have officially corrected the narrative after the 90 days were over. That isn't what they did though. They both have good teams behind them, and they have a plan for how they want to go public with their relationship. They have been setting the stage for a while. We just have to be patient. It seems to be coming very soon though with the recent moves online and on SM from L/N. And tbh, if you have really been paying attention, L/N have been telling us they are in a relationship for a whileeee. It's pretty obvious to me (IMO).

Again, THIS IS PURELY SPECULATION AND THEORIES FROM WHAT I HAVE OBSERVED!

[martiansodas-blog]

Hi! I was just reading your art donaldson head cannons and when I read this part specifically:

♡ wouldn’t mind having a slightly younger partner. he’d like teaching them things and it’d boost his ego a little bit. you two would tease each other about your age all the time.

I immediately new I had to request a one shot ( I think thats what they’re re called ) of them actually teasing each other maybe a bit nswf but yeah so if you could make one 🙏🥹

🎾 🤍💐✨🎀

“you keep me young.”

“and you gave me my first gray hair, can we go now??”

art liked to imagine you old with all gray hair and fine lines. him standing right by your side.

but he’s getting ahead of himself.

“ya know speaking of hair, you should let me use my curly products on you!”

“you don’t think i’ve outgrown that?”

“are you kidding? it would look so good on you now! i’ve only seen pictures of you with a mop on your head i want to experience it first hand.”

he rolled his eyes but the crinkles around them brought by your cheekiness was prevalent. he can’t hide anything around you.

“alright. you’ve convinced me.”

the two of you were chatting in a local coffee shop. there are a dozen cafes closer but you love this one. and art loves whatever you love. it has personality. they make their syrups from scratch and have a little patio for when it’s sunny.

the man was already convinced you were an angel, but the sun behind you giving you a halo was icing on top.

art drowned in your beauty.

the kind of beauty that made everyone else in the room look bad.

the kind that made you create a whole album in your phones photo app.

he made sure you knew just how stunning you were.

but your beauty was also the least interesting thing about you.

“thanks for taking me here.”

“of course. we really don’t come here as often as we should.”

“it’s out of the way. i’d feel bad if you had to fill up your car AND pay for my meal.”

you said it jokingly but it’s easy to feel guilty that about art spoiling you to the extent that he does. you didn’t have much to give in return.

art takes your smaller hand in his and plays with your fingers. the next time he speaks it’s quieter, and with fervor.

“you are a gift, my gift. you were sent to me.”

he looks into your eyes.

“everything i get to do for you is a joy, ok?”

art wasn’t raised religious, frankly he thinks most of them are bullshit. he never thought about believed in fate.

until you.

it took some getting used to- being appreciated on this level.

boys your age could never worship you the way art does.

you were younger than art, yes. but he wasn’t attracted to you because you were mailable. he was attracted to you because you were brilliant. you were passionate, funny, and if you disagreed with someone you stood your ground. you brought a fresher perspective to his life.

with that being said, he still wants to protect you from the big bad world.

you can defend yourself in every sense of the word, but why would you need to when you have a rich experienced man by your side? there’s a lot of people out there who don’t have the best intentions. especially with a girl in her twenties. that’s where art comes in.

he decides that you still need some convincing even after today's date, so he keeps you in his master bedroom for a few hours.

he wants to rewire your brain and ruin anyone else for you.

“you don't get it, do you? when i said i liked you, it wasn't just skin deep. ive got some bad intentions. i wanna take every inch of you and make it mine; i want you to breathe for me, eat for me, i want all of your orgasms to be because of me.”

the only heaven i’ll be sent to is when i’m alone with you

[cuteandhughesy]

Cool | Jack Hughes

summary: after your breakup with jack, you thought your EP release party would be dreadful- especially after your single about him is the biggest hit. what happens when you see him at the party and all past feelings come rushing back.

3.8k

warnings: SFW! ex! jack | singer! reader | angst

a/n: based off this request! hope you enjoy what I’ve done with your idea! also I used sabrina for my little album mock ups, so that’s that 🤍

link to masterlist

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

when you and jack met, it was anything but glamorous.

working in music was something you'd always wanted to pursue, but the journey of getting into the music industry isn't always easy. sending demo after demo to different record companies was coming up short, and as a last resort, you'd decided to post a video showcasing your talents on tiktok.

it blew up - the cover of one direction's night changes was heard on every video you'd scroll by. people were using your audio as background noise for there own videos, continuing to further your success.

nessa barrett and her team had reached out not longer after your up-roaring success, asking if you'd like to be featured on one of her songs on her upcoming album. nessa had expressed her love for your style of singing and iceralll vibe, and thought you'd be the perfect final piece in her creation. you'd obviously agreed.

the day of recording was an eventful one. not being able to fly out to LA to record, nessa's team arranged a studio session in new jersey where you lived and because they'd put so much effort in for you - you didn't want to disappoint them.

but the recording session wasn't the craziest part of your day - the journey home was. your mom had called you, frantically trying to plan your younger sisters 21st birthday while you exited the recording studio. trying to calm your mother down, insisting that 5 different balloon colours was too many (especially when your sister only liked pink), all while digging through your tote in search of your car keys, left you rather distracted.

you’re rudely brought back to the reality of the busy sidewalks around you, when you walk into something hard. you phone slips out of your hand on impact, falling to the icy ground below. just as that happens, the person you'd inevitably ran into, spills their drink on you - hot chocolate stinging your chest through your white hoodie.

"shit, i'm so sorry." the smooth voice is instantly spewing apologies, and large, slightly calloused hands reach out and hover over your coat covered arms.

finally, you look away from the hot chocolate dripping off you, standing the white snow, and meet the deep blue eyes in front of you. you dance over his soft, round features - following the littering of freckles and moles on his face.

his brows are furrowed in worry, deep gaze trained on you as he attempts to asses you for injuries - darting between the hot chocolate stain and your rosy cheeks.

you shake your head slightly, "no, it's okay. I should've watched where I was going."

"same - my brother and teammates were heckling me about my choice of hot drink - ironically enough, I wasn't looking in your direction. I'm sorry again." he swallows nervously, running a sticky, hot chocolate covered hand through his brown hair.

you notice then, off the the side against one of the brick buildings lining the streets, a small group of guys. they're moving between shooting you both amused looks, and hiding their embarrassed grins behind there hands. you think that must be the brother and teammates in question.

"don't apologize, it was an accident." you sigh gently, forcing a somewhat happy smile on your face. although you're not actually mad at this stranger, it was still an inconvenience and you're glad this happened after your studio session - not before.

you lean down to. collect your cellphone and see that your mom is still on the line. the chances of her still blabbing on about party supplies and not noticing your absence is very high. "I'm y/n."

the ghost of a smile rests upon his lips, "jack - and again, so sorry-"

"yo, hughesy," one of the teammates call, one hand cupped around his mouth to further echo his voice. "we should probably go, coach wants us at the meeting in 15 minutes." he sounds foreign, but if it wasn't for the lingering accent you'd have no idea.

"can I at least get your number? I want to buy you a new sweater." jack insists, already digging out his phone from his black, puffy coat pocket.

you smile, "you really don't need to."

his brow quirks up in a playful manner, and his smirk is almost teasing. "so I can't have your number?"

you giggle gently and start reciting your 7 digit code to jack - the warm, sticky chocolate stain covering your front long forgotten about as you are consumed by the handsome stranger.

like promised, jack had bought you a new white sweater from aritzia - a much more expensive, better quality sweater than your original adidas one.

you and jack had very quickly become close, and started dating only a month after your run in outside the studio. you shared your aspiring music career, and your hopes moving forward in the industry. jack had also told you about his career, and how hockey pretty much took up all his time and energy. but you didn't mind it, because you new your boyfriend was following his hopes and passions - just as you are.

what you weren't expecting was the specific fame that came with jack being in the nhl. in some ways, you weren't shocked that you boyfriend was one of the most sought out nhl player by women, because you knew he was attractive, young and talented - but you were surprised with just how intense these women can be and how you were feeling about it all.

you were pretty good and working through any jealous feelings with jack, and he'd always reassure you that the comments, dms and videos were just stupid talk - rumours.

and you'd always believe him - you loved him and trusted him despite everything and everyone else rooting against you. it wasn't until a year after dating and being in love with jack, that you reached an unseen breaking point - the hurt and jealousy coming to a hill top, teetering on the edge of falling away.

you watch him wordlessly, stewing in your own emotions- a mixture of jealousy and anger very prevalent in your demeanour.

jack scrolls through your dm messages just as quiet as you, his soft brows pulled together tightly to create two deep frown marks. he looks up at you again, because yes, this is the third time he's read though the messages on your phone. "nothing happened, y/n. these messages are just trying to get you," he pauses, waving his hand frantically in your direction, "like this."

you scoff, "so i'm overreacting?"

"no," he huffs, "you're not but I don't understand why you're not believing me."

"jack...multiple people have messaged me and said they saw you and your ex spending time with one another at the bar! some even said you two were dancing together! this isn't just one person, it's 10."

"yeah 10 people who saw my ex and I in the same location and immediately started talking about it to you - trying to convince you that something was going on!"

when jack left for his week long road trip with the devils to the west coast, you'd never would of expected to it end up like this. after a devils win, the boys had gone to one of the local bars to have some greasy food and a beer - let loose for one night, regardless of teaming staff's recommendations. oddly enough, one of jacks ex-girlfriends had moved out to LA to finish her degree, and so happened to be at the same bar as your boyfriend and his teammates.

your instagram dms flooded. multiple people claiming they saw them talking, and dancing. one message even said she caught them kissing off towards the back of the bar.

you just snapped.

it was too much of a coincidence and too many witnesses for you to just 'trust him'.

"don't you trust me?" jack questions, locking your phone and setting it on his kitchen island. the tv from luke's room is louder than it was when you first got to the brothers' apartment - probably trying to block out the argument.

you feel yourself getting emotional. you eyes start to blur with tears, and you blink desperately to try and clear your vision. "I did! I do! it's just," you pause, taking a shaky breath. "this is too much. I can't keep pretending all this attention isn't killing me...I can't keep just hoping it's all rumours. I love you but I can't keep sharing you with the world and feeling like the laughing stock on social media."

"then don't share me!" he stresses, taking a quick step towards you. jack almost reaches out to touch you, but he decides against it, not wanting to push you away any further. "please, just don't believe them...believe me. nothing happened-"

"there's pictures jack." you whisper. tears begin to fall from your glossy coated eyes, falling down your flushed cheeks.

"picture of us just talking, barley talking if anything-"

"yeah but you didn't even tell me- social media did."

jack pauses, his eyes full of a swimming pool of emotions as looks down at you. he doesn't have an excuse, because you're right - he didn't tell you.

even though pictures only captured your boyfriend and his ex talking, nothing more, how could you believe his words and broken promises when he couldn't even be honest about a so called innocent talk.

you sniffle, "I need space."

"okay," he nods, "I can drive you home and then tomorrow we can talk again, okay? we can get breakfast at the cafe you really like and just figure this all out."

"no," you correct, "I need space from us."

"what?"

"I can't do this anymore - the rumours, the comments and the complete disregard for my feelings. I just need to figure it all out...alone."

with your new heartbreak came a whole new lyrical world. you put your uncertainty, jealousy, anger, and sadness onto paper - which birthed your very first single on your small EP.

releasing your song tilted cool immediately had fans speculating your and jack's relationship. the lyrics hide nothing about the rumors circulating around the hockey community, and once you and jack stopped posting together and not spotted with one another - your break-up was confirmed to the world.

your EP, titled sucker, was a collection of four, self-written tracks that perfectly captured the emotions you'd gone through (and still dealing with) in the break-up with jack.

and sucker in its fullness and greatness, was being released tonight. your newly appointed manager through your record company, insisted throwing a release party for you and the already overwhelming successes of your single, cool, and the upcoming EP.

so here you stood, in your frilly pink dress that perfectly matched the colour of one of three vinyl variants - happily greeting friends, musicians, and fans as they pulled into the event hall. the space was covered in astonishing, expensive looking decorations to bring the atmosphere to life. streamers, shiny balloons, multi-coloured lights, and many more beautiful items.

you take a sip out of your fourth champagne flute, trying to keep your excitement alive, while trying to keep your earlier nerves at bay. you wanted your peers and fans to love your art, and you wanted them to feel proud.

you swallow the bitter drink, looking away from the crowded room and over to the large procedure screen against one of the wallpapered walls. half and hour until midnight - thirty minutes until the world would here your most precious emotions. in thirty minutes the judgment would start, and the hate....in thirty minutes there'd be no more secrets.

you sigh gently, looking through the crowd. as per request, everyone was dressed in either pale blue, cream or baby pink, matching each album variant. it makes the whole ordeal feel even more real, and that sends the flutter of butterflies in your stomach loose - your body going numb and warm.

"y/n," a familiar voice calls your name, and instantly your stomach feels funny. you look over towards the source of the greeley voice, and are meet with the tall figure of luke hughes. he's smiling widely, the same smile you'd see when he actually finds something funny or when something brought him joy, and he's wearing the pale peach colour of your record - a nice, button up with appropriate, matching bottoms.

you force yourself to smile back, pushing away any prior emotion and worry. "luke, hey." the tallest hughes brother embraces you in a friendly way, congratulating you on the success of your career.

you separate, and instantly, your smile falters. behind his brother, stands jack. he looks just as uncertain as you feel, looking at you with a mixture of sadness and hope. his tanned, calloused hands are shoved into his dress pants awkwardly, bunching up the hem of his baby blue shirt. the colour brings out his eyes, making the usual ocean blue look brighter.

he clears his throat, "hey, congratulations."

you're almost in shock, and you can't look away from the man infront of you. before you realize, luke has slipped away from you both, your once buffer now nosying around the food table - shoving cheese and crackers into his mouth.

you blink. "jack, what are you doing here?" you're not angry, and you certainly don't sound it. your tone is very soft, bordering on emotional- your overwhelming internal energy now presenting on the outside.

"I always said I'd show my support for you - no matter the circumstances. I'm so proud of you, y/n."

you say his name again, an almost warning tone lacing your words. you can't do this with him, especially tonight on top of all the other thousands thoughts running through your mind. "thank you for the support, jack but i'm not sure what you want me to do here."

his brows furrow, "I don't want you to do anything except celebrate yourself, but I do think we need to talk-"

your manager comes skipping over, guiding you away from your ex-boyfriend as she explains what you'll be doing next. with the music releasing in the next few minutes, she's asking for you to make a brief speech about the night and the upcoming EP.

you shoot jack an unapologetic look over your shoulder, rounding into the grand living space of the rented extravagant house.

jack follows slowly behind, and just as you're walking onto the stage, right infront of the countdown display, he settles near the back of the room, watching you with a guilty expression. he shouldn't of said anything to you, especially on your special night - especially when he can see how overwhelmed you are.

you tap gently on the microphone, checking the sound. the echoing noise grabs the busy crowds attention, the once chatty laughter coming to a slow halt. you smile warmly, "hi, everyone."

people smile and clap excitedly, some people even cheering at your greeting. your smile doesn't falter, and neither do your nervous butterflies. your wrong your hands out nervously, a typical nervous habit you've always done. "thank you all so much for coming out here and showing your love and support for me and my career. I'm so overwhelmed with joy at the thought of my small piece of art being heard by all of you and I can only hope that you'll love and enjoy the three new songs as much as cool."

through the bright lights, familiar and unfamiliar faces, your gaze finds jack. the sight of him as your nerves changing, and somehow you feel yourself become calm under his gaze. you clear your throat, "with less than three minutes to go, as just want to say that all these songs are so personal and raw with emotion and I just want to remind anybody who can relate to these lyrics and music that it's okay to feel overwhelmed, or angry, or jealous, even when you know there's no reason to feel that way."

once again, you find jack at the back of the room. his face hasn't changed, and you can't quite read the expression he's showing. without looking away from him, you continue. "finally, I want to thank you for believing in me and always supporting me. from tiktok, to my first feature and single - now my EP. thank you for everything, I love you."

you blink, finally tearing your gaze away. "all of you! get ready, because these are the emotional, up and downs of sucker!"

the crowd roars in excitement, counting down the last minute before the tracks will be shared. you slip off the stage, forcing smiles to the crowd as you slip through bodies and crowds of people, trying to get out of the bustling, loud and overwhelming room.

everyone is unaware of your motives, and because everyone is gathered in the same room, it makes your space easier. your shoes echo in the empty hallway, heels clicking up the grand staircase as you ascend upstairs.

you find an empty, unlocked room and slip inside quickly. it's a cleaning closet, and now you can understand why there's no lock on the door. it smells strongly of lysol and clorox, but the strong smells provides a nice distraction from your frantic breathing.

you move further into the room, pressing your back to one of the cool, metal shelving units. it was all feeling like too much - the party, the EP releasing, seeing jack....you can feel your stomach turn just at the back and forth motion from the thoughts in your brain. you close your eyes, taking a deep breath.

suddenly, the sound of your opening track gets louder, turning from muffled vibrations into full, coherent sounds. your eyes snap open, just as jack enters the room with you.

your chest tightens warmly, and the heartbroken girlfriend in you desperately wants to reach out and let jack pull you into his embrace- providing his usual calming comfort.

jack shuts the door behind himself, letting the silence once again consume the small cleaning closet. his cheeks look rosy in the dim light, and his hair is pushed back like he's been running his hand through it over and over.

“are you okay?” he asks gently, taking a step closer to you.

“no, jack,” you huff through disbelieved laughter. “i'm so confused and overwhelmed and I don't know why you're actually here. do you want an apology from me? is that why you want to talk?”

“no,” he replies, “I want to talk because I was wrong.”

your brows furrow and your confusion is evident. “what do you mean?”

jack takes another step towards you, “I shouldn't have lied to you and I immediately should've told you that I saw my ex and had a brief conversation with her - even though that was the extent of it. I made myself look guilty and because of that, I made you feel like you couldn't trust me.”

he continues, eyes swimming with emotions as he keeps his gaze locked on you. “all your feelings about what happened are absolutely valid and i'm sorry for being the cause of your pain. that song, cool - I know it's about me and when I heard it, it solidified how badly I screwed up.”

you frown uncertainly. “why now? why are you saying all this now?”

“because the guilt of it all is eating me alive. I couldn't go an hour longer with you thinking that I would ever cheat on you. even though I talked to my ex for only that minute in LA, I shouldn't have been so sketchy about the situation. I should've reassured you, and listened to your concerns and I should've told you as soon as it happened - end of story.”

he pauses, asserting your face of emotions. jack sees the way your eyes have glossed over, but your shoulders are still broad - indicating that you’re upset, but not uncomfortable. you’re still here, listening to his apology. with that, he continues. “you don't need to forgive me, and you don't even need to say anything, but I just wanted you to know that i'm sorry for how I handled the situation that I very easily could've fixed. I love you….so much and i'm so proud of you and I don’t want you to think anything but that.”

you blink and look away from him, sniffling away any lingering emotion. hearing jacks apology has solidified so much for you and the situation a few weeks prior. the second track on your EP is vibrating through the floor, the bass lined chorus tickling the soles of your feet through your heels. softly, you set your gaze back on jack - who’s soft, guilty expression hasn’t changed.

“I agree, you should’ve mentioned the situation with your ex before I found out through social media, and you telling me that you recognize how that made me feel and how it made you look, has me feeling so much relief.” you take a shaky inhale, “your apology means so much to me because I love you and I should’ve truly expressed how I was feeling about everything, instead of arguing, deflecting and shutting down. I trust you and I always have but I was feeling angry, and jealous about the slinky feeling of it all.”

“you still love me?” he breathes shakily, a ghost of a smile beginning to pull at his mouth.

you nod, your own bright smile gracing your face - shining through the dim, bleach scented closet. “I love you.”

jack releases a visible sigh of relief, and he closes the gap between you in favour of gently taking whole of your warm face, softly caressing your plump cheeks affectionately. you smile as jacks thumb subconsciously runs under your lash line, collecting any tears before they can fall and ruin your makeup - something you’d complained about often.

“I love you.” jack repeats, his words a breathless whisper as he leans down. his nose nudges yours once affectionately, before slotting next to yours comfortably. then, thankfully, jack presses his lips to yours in a much missed kiss.

you don’t regret the raw, jealous and angry emotions you’d put into your new EP - all those emotions being directed at jack and the miscommunicated situation. you’re proud and excited to help others going through the same heartbreak as you did.

and with jack here now, kissing you like he’s done a thousand times, you’re looking forward to the blissing relationship to return, as well as the amazing career ahead of both of you.

you can’t wait for the love songs you’ll create - all because of jack.

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

a/n okay I hope this was okay! I didn’t edit it because i’m a lil lazy (whoops) but the idea was fun and cute! also when I was writing I didn’t want to be too on the nose with the song or lyrics of cool, so I did the best I could:) also I added visual links for the colour and outfits of the reader, luke and jack!

[crazysodomite]

what is it like to be kind of popular/getting people interested in your own ideas and not fan art?

I don't think I'm popular *looks behind my back fearfully* 😨

Here's the thing. A lot of people post things and just expect people to find them and interact with them. To some people it works. But a lot of the time there's no way for people to even find your stuff or engage with it.

A lot of people go into fandom tags to look for art and writing, but not a lot of people just scroll the "oc" or "art" or "writing" tags aimlessly.

I'm not like. A social media expert 😼 or whatever. I don't know anything about anything ♥️ I literally just do whatever weurd things i want and that's it

Here's some things I can advise:

If you have ocs.... Please feel free to actually talk about them in detail, share your thoughts on them in detail, write actual info and profiles on them. Don't be shy to do this bc there's no way for someone to engage with your ocs if they don't really understand who you're talking about except the names 😭... Feel free to like link their info in your pinned or their toyhouse profiles or whatever... !!!! A lot of the times I follow someone and they ask to engage with their ocs, and I want to, but I literally just don't understand who they're taking about... Or I see someone talking about their ocs in very vague terms but I can't actually find who they're talking about.... (Not that you have to do this do whatever you want ... I'm not the boss of you ♥️ it's just something id like to see) And also don't be shy to actually remind people who you're talking about bc people who haven't been following you for a long time won't know. I think this is simpler for me because my concepts/characters are very basic/shallow and easy to understand. Taur who is a bee, taur who is a bath, etc... Is Inherently understandable and doesn't have any deep lore

👆 this applies to everything in general not just ocs. Talk about art. Talk about your own art. Talk about what you love in the art of others. Talk about your plans and concepts and ideas. Talk about your projects. Share with the world 🌍 🌍 🌍

Don't be shy to talk about your things. I think some people are anxious about seeing people unfollowing them. I personally use xkit to hide my followers on pc and actively avoid looking at my follower count on mobile... Because idgaf ♥️. If someone doesn't like what I post they're Nothing to me. I post about taurs and weird things basically every day. What do I have to lose? My dignity as a Tumblr blogger? Genuinely like just share whatever thoughts or concepts or doodles or drawings you want without being like "aww nobody wants to see this". Honestly I also do this because I don't have friends to talk about concepts and stuff with so your mileage may vary. Maybe you don't want to post. Maybe you worldbuild with your friends. Then maybe you can share the results of that worldbuilding and thoughts, that's good too.

Self reblog your stuff 😭 even old stuff. Self reblog your stuff and then elaborate on it further with your thoughts. Dig up old concepts and do things with them. Its okay to do this. Not everyone sees your stuff when you first post it... !

Actually engage with others. Others are more likely to see you and engage with you when you do the same to them. If you never interact with anyone else's art why would others interact with yours. And unfortunately posting stuff and expecting people to just stumble upon it is not a very good strategy...

[walpu]

Hi, it’s me again!! >_<

When I tell you I gobbled that headcannon post up, I went down on two knees and howled /hj

Anyways, do you think you can do some headcannons on Aventurine with Bodyguard! Reader if you have the time? But this time, with a twist :3

See, reader does care for Aven, you truly do, but before that, you were tasked by Everflame mansion and by Duke inferno himself to kill Aventurine. But you can’t bring yourself to, no, not when you’ve fallen head over heels for him.

When reader does become Aven’s bodyguard, you maintain that serious, no nonsense demeanor, but if he looks closely enough, he’ll see the lovestruck puppy hiding under the hardened shell that they’ve put on.

But the guilt catches up. One day, at least a few months after reader’s betrayal to Duke Inferno, you catch sight of an assassin sent to finish the job they couldn’t do. And so, the secret is finally revealed.

Personally, I think Aventurine would be betrayed, like very, how could he not be? He’s always kept people at an arm’s length away, and when he finally lets you in his walls, and starts falling for thier charm, this secret of yours comes out. He fires you almost immediately, but the way he stares after you with misty eyes doesn’t go unnoticed.

The next months were absolute hell. Reader found a new job as a barista, and is quite enjoying the quaint and simply life it provides, even if you do miss Aventuirne. He’s probably still seething at you, right?.

Wrong. Because you’ve gone MIA, Aventurine been scouring all over the place, trying so hard to find you. He’s loosing sleep, forgetting to eat, all things that you would chide him about. Aeons, he misses you so much.

And when he does find you, he’s overjoyed, and when the two finally reunite, the first thing you do is to apologize deceiving him. But he forgave your silly ass a long time ago, why else would he have spent the last months trying to find you?

Long story short, it’s a happy ending, Aventurine couldn’t be more grateful he has you to be his bodyguard, his closest confidant, and most importantly, his lover <33

I’m so sorry if I went on a ramble, but this idea’s been plaguing me so bad I literally can’t focus on anything else 😭😭

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWAR TO WRITIG FOR THIS REQUEST SINCE THE MOMENT I SAW IT I ADORE YOUR BODYGUARD!READER x AVEN SERIES btw thank you for sharing the c.ai bot

I feel like the only thing I do with each post is apologize for taking so long but right now I like from work trip to work trip so I'm actually really really sorry this madness should end soon 😭😭😭😭 Hope you'll enjoy this post, it was my goal to finish it before version 2.1

bodyguard/assassin!reader x Aventurine

characters - Aventurine notes- gn!reader, angst, hurt/comfort, pining, no beta

It was not a fast prosses for the both of to form a genuine connection. Moreover, you know goddamn well you shouldn't get attached to him.

And at first it seems easy, like yeah another rich playboy, no big deal, you've delt with people like him before, right? Right??????????????

Yeah until suddenly he's not just a rich playboy.

The more you notice how deeply lonely and unhappy he is, the more your heart softens towards him. And the more your heart softens, the more he relaxes around you, seeing behind your cold exterior.

He's not used to people caring about him. And yes, of course he knows it's your job but still, for a man who never had a real friend before, he surely can appreciate having someone who not only won't leave him but also will listen to him and look after him.

And the part about you being paid to do it? Oh well. It's the same guy who offers you to use him as you wish and who's greeting line is "I can play a role of a friend :)"

Mf is FRIENDLESS, LONELY and PATHETIC /affectionally

He'll take what he can get okay.

But goddamn. Don't think he doesn't notice how you started going out of your ways to take care of him. How you make him eat, tend to his small injuries ("my, my, you're my bodyguard, not a doctor. perhaps someone wants a raise, hm?~"), how you drag him out of casino or his office when it's too late.

It drives him crazy. It's not beneficial for you, right? The w h y.

He won't ask. Instead he will watch and slowly fold.

You are probably suffering tho lol. You should just kill him already, you've had so many opportunities to end him. Instead you spoon feed him soup because he claims he has a hangover after a night in the casino. And this little brat looks so smug about it too!!!!

Sometimes he feels like it's too good to be true: you being here, taking care of him, looking after him. The line between professional relationship, friendship and... something more is way too blurry already, and he knows it's dangerous but it just feels so good. Too good.

Duke inferno gets tired eventually. He sends someone to remind you of your mission. To remind you who you really work for.

Well, the duke receives a warning of his own. The dead body of his little messenger.

You know, of course, that the Everflame mansion thugs are not easily intimidated. They will be back. So you better warn Aventurine and tell him everything.

You can't keep lying to him, can you?

Well. It's surprisingly not as easy as you thought. After all, even if they will send someone, you'll just protect Aven like you always do, right? He doesn't have to know. Not about your past, not about your original mission. He keeps his secrets too, so why can't you?

You know goddamn well why tho. You know and yet you still can't bring yourself to tell him the truth.

It goes on like that for several months and Aventurine notices that something is clearly off, something is bothering his darling protector. He tries to pry, to tease, to cling, to pester you. Something to make you open up. Or, at least, get distracted. He can't help but feel anxious. Why are you suddenly so reversed? Do you want to leave his side? Does he not pay you enough? Does he bother you too much? It eats him alive while he tries to mask it by pestering you even more. As if to test you. As if to make sure that it's not the case.

All the hell breaks loose one day when you discover that Duke inferno has sent another assassin to finish the job.

I you spare the details but yeah, your secret was unraveled. And it wasn't pretty at all.

You have never seen emotions so vivid on Aven's face. Part of you always wanted to see him more vulnerable, more open with you. But not like this. Not this look of utter betrayal.

He collects himself quick enough, hiding behind the mask of mock disappointment.

"Hm, well, I recall mentioning that treachery is just another tool of the trade. But it seems like our little deal is not paying off for me anymore" he says with a cold chuckle, shaking his head a little. "After all, you have very little to offer outside of your dog-like loyalty. But seems like this dog bit both hands that fed it".

You were expecting him to call for your arrest but instead he just fires you. It hurts nevertheless.

What hurts even more is that look he gives you when you part ways. It's like his pretty eyes are even more lifeless now.

At first he feels this overwhelming emptiness. It truly feels like the fate is mocking him. One time, just one time, he allowed himself to relax around someone. Just this one time, with this one person who took care of him, who listened to him, who looked out for him. And this person was supposed to kill him.

Then his stupid brain finds another way to torture him. He keeps thinking about the way you have always protected him, the way you took the hit even during the last attack, when Duke Inferno's new assassin tried to get to him. You were ready to leave your past life behind to stay by his side, weren't you?

As soon as he realizes it he goes frantic. Of course he tries to find you asap but of course someone as competent as you would be able to disappear without a trace in no time. You were an assassin, after all. A skilled one too, since he never even suspected you.

This connection the two of you had, this realization that you really cared enough to betray your client, all of this makes him realize that he needs you so, so much. He needs to feel this care again, he need to look at you again, to know that you're here by his side.

He misses you so much. Your nagging, your reassurance, your touch. He's like an addict who felt what it feels like to love and beloved in return for the first time and now he can't live without it.

He doesn't eat or sleep properly, his head plagued by the thoughts about you. What if you forgot all about him? What if you're wounded? Where are you even? His fingers itch to trace your face and your scars.

He thinks about how you would scold him for not taking proper care of himself and it makes him miss you even more.

Aven finds you after a few months. It was honestly a coincidence, one of his subordinates saw you in the coffee shop you were working at.

He though that finding you will calm him down but seeing you from afar, looking somewhat peaceful and cozy, having a regular job... it's too much. And what if you really don't need him anymore? Maybe you never did? After all, he's painfully aware that he probably needs you much more than you need him.

And yet, he decides to take this risk. He's a gambler, after all.

"Somehow I'm not surprised you're good even at that. How come you have never made me coffee before, hm?"

You literally freeze on the spot after hearing this familiar voice next to you.

When you finally get to talk, you can see he's really trying to look calm and collected but how can he? His hands are shaky and his voice cracks. It breaks your heart.

He doesn't even let you finish your apology, pressing a finger to your lips.

"Hush, darling. All is forgiven. In fact, I even have an interesting proposal. I'm can be a generous man after all".

He can't fool you. Not with this shaky soft voice. And he knows it as well.

Please hug that fool and kiss him. Swear that you won't ever leave him again. Swear that you want to be by his side. As his bodyguard, as his friend, as something more. So much more. That's all he really need to feel like he's at home.

[starsval]

wonderland

remus lupin x reader

summary: you and remus find wonderland, or, you fall in love, even if it's not perfect.

word count: 7,7k

warnings: remus has a mullet because i said so, kissing, mentions of s*x lol, like, it happened, reader is pureblood so the cruciatus curse ig, punching, remus being mean, reader gets called a b*tch, lower case intended, no use of y/n

a/n: this took forever and i don't even think i like it, but still, thanks to @myriadmoons and @aastonishment for helping me writing this, love u<3

btw idk why i called this wonderland, it was originally called dancing with our hands tied but i didn't end up writing someone that fit, and for some reason there were lyrics of wonderland on the top of the document since i've been writing it so yeah

"how's my favourite girl doing?" sirius talks as he puts an arm over your shoulders, just as james takes the book out of your hands. 

"sirius black and james potter talking to me when we're not at a pureblood party? what's happening?"

"don't be mean, you know we love you" james replies, putting the book behind his back, so you wouldn't be able to get it even if sirius let you go. 

"we realised we rarely talk to you, which is sad because you're one of the only pureblood people we actually like" sirius then lets you go to play with your hair as he talks. 

"so, we wanted to invite you to the party we're throwing tonight, at the gryffindor common room" james says, but he quickly looks behind you and his friend. 

"you invite me to a party, so we can talk?" you ask, taking advantage of james' sudden distraction when regulus walks past to take your book back. 

"yes, we want to get to know you" sirius is the one who talks now, unaware of the reason his friend suddenly stopped talking

"okay, i'll see you there" you tell them, walking away. 

"what? really? was it that easy?" sirius asks, shocked. 

"yes, i'll see you there, bye" 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"they don't know that you always go to the parties?" lily asks as she puts on her earrings, looking on your mirror. 

"i tend to hide from them" you tell them from your bed. 

"why?" she questions, you shrug, unable to give her an answer.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"so, what's your type?" sirius finds you while you were choosing something to drink. 

"what?" you ask him, accepting the drink he recommends you. 

"what kind of person do you like, men, women, tall, short?"

"tall skinny men with messy mullets, when it looks like they'll break if you breathe too hard on them?" sirius' eyes seem to light up with your answer. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"she's just like you, she likes books and stuff, i swear you'll like her" sirius insists, following remus through the hall, heading to the library. 

"books and stuff? that's all you know about me?"

"i'm telling you i found your soulmate and you care about that?"

"yes."

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you were in the library, focused on your book when three people sat on your table. you look up to find sirius, james and who you know is called remus, maybe your eyes focus on the last one for a bit when sirius talks. 

"we need help" he says, pulling out a book. 

"what?" you ask, uninterested in anything they have to say. 

"we need help, you're like the smartest person we know" this time james is the one who talks. 

"and why would i help you?" 

"because you're a good person?" you don't change your expression "and we'll buy you chocolate the next time we go to hogsmeade"

"help with what?" this time, the boy that caught your eye talks. 

"we need to learn how to do this charm" he points to the book, and maybe you look at his hand before reading the words he's pointing to. you also notice how sirius and james smile when remus talks. 

"why would you need to know how to turn someone's clothes pink, permanently?" you ask, they all look at each other before looking at you. you sigh "why would i know how to do this?" 

"i'd quite fall in love with you if you did" sirius talks. "but you're smart, you'll be able to learn it" you start packing your things. "is that a yes?"

"what do i win?" you ask, already standing. 

"chocolate" you start to walk away, leaving the book there. "we'll give you alcohol at the next pureblood party" you smile before grabbing the book. 

"i'll tell you as soon as i get it"

they all hear you say goodbye to peter before he sits. 

"why did she talk to you?" james asks. 

"we're friends?" peter explains, getting started with his homework. 

"soooo… do you like her?" sirius asks remus, who just rolls his eyes before getting up. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time he sees you, you're walking to him, who's reading at the library. you put the book with the charm before him, and quickly sit besides him. 

"i know how to do the charm… " you wait for him to introduce himself. 

"remus, remus lupin" he answers, putting his book aside. 

"remus, right" you talk, like you didn't know his name before. 

you explain how to do it, and after he gets the theory right, all there's left to do is practise it. 

"i'll do one of his socks and you'll do the other one" you point at snape, who has glared at you since you've been here. 

"i didn't expect you to be like this" remus says, smiling, before slowly pulling out his wand. 

"what did you expect?" 

"i don't know, sirius and james don't usually talk about you"

"i wonder why" you smile, before quietly charming one of snape's socks, turning it bright pink. "your turn"

remus copies your actions, successfully turning snape's left sock pink. you look at each other, quietly laughing, and quickly pack your things so you can walk out before he notices. 

you walk next to him in the hallway, though neither of you know where you're going. 

"what do you need the charm for?" you ask him. 

"we're pranking someone" he explains. 

"should i be scared?" you question and he chuckles. 

"no, your clothes will be safe"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time you talk, he's the one who approaches you. 

"can i sit here?" he points at the chair next to you "i want to study but they're being to loud" you nod, and you talk as he sits. 

"why don't you do a silent charm on them?" he chuckles. 

"they'll find a way to be even louder" 

and that's how it starts, neither of you know why, but since then, we you enter the library, you immediately look for each other. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"you're the one who did that research on werewolves aren't you? teachers don't stop talking about how good it is" some guy asks you as he stands in front of you, the table in between you two. 

"yes" he was one of those pureblood guys, who only cared about their status. 

"you didn't talk about them being bad people" you stare at him, trying to find out why he's telling you that. "i just thought you'd like someone to tell you about your mistake"

"it's not a mistake, they aren't bad people" you tell him. 

"well, then you're wrong, they're obviously bad" he rolls his eyes, like it's obvious that he's right. 

"did you just come here to talk shit about werewolves?" you focus on your homework, mentally aiming in case you have to throw something at him. 

"no, i came here to see if you were a respectable pureblood, but let me guess, you fight for elves' rights too?" he seems upset with you, but he doesn't leave, instead, he looks at you like a challenge. 

"what, you want me to join your cause too and fight for arseholes' rights? maybe we should put your face on the banner so they know how one looks" you smile sarcastically at him. 

"what is wrong with you? i just wanted to let you know that werewolves are bad and you're being a bitch" he seems actually upset, his superior grin gone now. 

"oh, so you were looking out for me? what would I do without people minding my business? now just shut up and maybe look into your prejudices instead of my life" you stop looking at him. 

"how can you think that they aren't bad? i thought you were smart" now he seems offended that you aren't like he imagined, but maybe he thinks that he can change you, because he smiles again. 

"sorry to disappoint you. and, something can be dangerous but good at the same time, just because they have claws doesn't mean they'd stab you, but maybe a girl who’s been bothered by you will" you say, as his eyes go to the pen on your hands.

“did you just threaten me?” he has the audacity to look offended as he talks.

“i don’t know, did i? a bitch like me wouldn’t know” you smile, faking innocence.

"you’re fucking crazy” he mutters as he turns around.

when he leaves -not before insulting you again-, neither of you notice a certain tall guy, with scars on his face and a knitted sweater standing around a bookcase, listening to all the conversation.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you don’t know how, but james and sirius convinced you to hang out with the marauders, maybe the mention of some boy with honey eyes and a mullet, but still. you find yourself on the gryffindor common room, listening to them as they tell you about their best pranks.

and remus must’ve sensed that you’re cold, because the next thing you know is that hes handing you his sweater.

“what?” you ask him

"you're cold" he shrugs. 

"but, what about you?" you question, not taking the sweater. 

"i'm fine, just put in on love" you obey, thanking him before looking back at james and peter, acting as you're not noticing sirius' smile. 

when you finally get up to go back to your room, while peter, james and sirius are too distracted talking to frank, you take of the sweater and hand it to remus. 

"what?" he asks, frowning. 

"it's yours" 

"you can give it to me other day"

"but i won't need it"

"love, just let me have an excuse to talk to you" he tells you, and you stop for a moment before answering, not believing him. 

"you don't need an excuse to talk to me" he smiles. 

"keep it anyway" 

"if you insist" he kisses your cheek goodbye, and that night you're only thinking about him. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"please just this once" james asks, and it looks like he's actually going to beg you to help them. 

"i don't have time for pranks" you walk away, and the four marauders immediately follow you. 

"you just need to distract him" sirius talks, walking to stand in front of you. 

"and why would i do that?" you ask, going around him. 

"because you appreciate our friendship?" this time is peter who talks, and you actually think about it for a second. 

"i don't-" before you can finish, remus intervenes. 

"love, just this once, okay? then we won't bother you" and you know it's not true, that they will bother you. but every doubt you had disappeared as soon as he talked. so you nod. 

"where is he?" 

and that's how you find yourself talking to binns, asking him about his class, solving questions you never had. 

then you see remus walking towards you, looking so innocent, and you keep nodding at binns, like you're so interested in what he's saying. 

when he turns around due to the sound of an explosion that you definitely had no idea about, remus walks next to you, grabbing your hand, and suddenly you're running down the hallway next to him. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

remus’ face is so close to yours that your noses are practically touching as you giggle.

“why are we hiding?” you ask, a smile not leaving your face and his hand not letting go of yours.

“because, certain friends of ours are bothering me" he closes his eyes, his forehead on yours as he talks. 

"what if they're not bothering me?" you joke, sarcasm in your tone. 

"oh, so you're saying I dragged you into this cupboard?" he pulls away, his hand on his chest as he acts offended. 

"yes, i didn't expect this behaviour from you, lupin" he rolls his eyes at the mention of his last name, as you laugh. 

"then leave" he challenges, but his hand doesn't let go of yours. 

"ok" you say, but you don't move.

when you walk out of the cupboard, both of you hear people talking. 

"do you think they're dating?"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you're just peacefully lying on your bed, reading a book remus had lent you when someone opens your door. you assume it's one of your roommates when that someone approaches you, grabs the book from your hands, and turns you so you're on your back. just to lie on top of you. 

"hi" you say, not sure what to do when he puts his head on your chest and closes his eyes. 

"hi love" he replies. and after a while he lifts his head, grabs your hand and puts it on his hair. 

"what are you doing?" you question him. 

"touch my hair" he demands, and you don't, just to mess with him. 

"what if i don't want to?" you smile, and he groans. 

then, when he notices that you're being serious, he puts his head up once again, this time to glare at you. 

he repeats his actions and puts your hand on his hair, and closes his eyes again. 

"don't move"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"what did you do?" you ask remus as he sits in your bed. 

"they were talking shit" he says as you go to the bathroom to look for the first aid kit you keep in there. 

"you got into a fight because they were talking shit?" you stand in front of him, in between his legs. 

he doesn't answer, instead, he winces when you start cleaning his face. 

"remus?" you insist, waiting for an answer 

"yes?" he acts oblivious, though it doesn't last much, as you start cleaning his face again, you mutter a quiet sorry before talking again. 

"why the fuck did you get into a fight?"

"they were talking sh-" you glare at him. 

"lupin"

"last name basis?" he tries to smile at you, but you turn his face to the side so you can look at the bruise forming on his cheek. 

"yes, answer" he sighs before talking. 

"i told you, they were talking shit" you keep glaring at him until he talks again "they were talking shit about you"

you stop moving for a second, processing the information. 

"you got into a fight because they were talking shit about me?"

"yes" he stares at you, waiting for a reaction. 

"are you fucking stupid?"

"maybe that wasn't the reaction i expected" he mutters to himself. 

"you are actually stupid" you don't talk again, you just focus on cleaning his face, which means he has a lot of time to talk. 

"what did you want me to do? i just couldn't stand there as he was saying how you were a bitch and shit like that" he groans when you don't answer "i warned them, i said that if they didn't stop i'd punch them"

"oh, you warned them, how nice" you reply, sarcastically. 

"don't be mad at me, please" he wraps his arms around your legs, and puts his head on your stomach. 

"what do you want me to do?" you put your hand on his hair. 

"i don't care, just don't be mad at me"

"oh, so i should just congratulate you? thank you so much remus for defending me, should i kiss you to show my gratitude?" 

"you could kiss me, not because of that, but you could" you don't even acknowledge him as you walk to the bathroom to throw away everything you used to clean his face. 

when you come back, he's in front of you, touching your cheek as he talks. 

"you're not gonna say anything?" he asks, as you try your best to not look away from his eyes. 

"about what?" he chuckles, but doesn't move his hand away from your face. 

"about the fact that i said that you could kiss me" you fail your goal, because your eyes immediately go to his lips. and of course, he notices. 

"what do you want me to say?" you ask, rolling your eyes at his smirk. 

"i think the question is what i want you to do"

"you just got into a fight" you remind him. 

"just because you're mad doesn't mean you can't kiss me"

"i know"

and you really know, so you kiss him. and it starts as a sweet kiss, slow, just to prove that it's real. but then one of his hands goes to the back of your neck and the other cups your jaw. 

your hands go to the back of his neck, finding balance when he pulls you closer to him.

you pull away for a second, breathing heavily as you look at each other's eyes. 

"we shouldn't do this" you remind him. 

"i know" he says, slowly walking so you have to walk back. 

"i'm still mad at you" you tell him, sitting in your bed, looking up at him. 

"i got into a fight because of you and you say that?" he smirks, pushing you so you have no choice but to lie down. 

one of his knees rests in between your legs, his hands on both sides of your head. your hands go to the back of his neck again. 

"you wound me" he tells you, before kissing your neck. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you had plans today, it was friday and you had no classes after lunch, so you were gonna start getting ready and maybe drinking with the girls before going to the party the gryffindor were hosting. 

but those plans got a bit ruined when you got a letter from your family during lunch, which usually meant bad news. 

you don't really remember a lot from the letter, all you know is that you had two choices: marrying barty or getting disowned. 

after reading the letter, all you can do is put it in your pocket and try to stop the tears coming from your eyes. you don't even look at your friends or at the food that remus put on your plate. instead, you think about the words you just read. 

"i have to go" you suddenly get up, grab your things and walk away, not noticing the concerned looks on your friends faces, especially on remus'. 

they all stare at you as you walk out the great hall.

you find an empty hall and sit in one of the windows, finally letting out the tears. you don't long how long you stay like that, but suddenly someone walks next to you. 

"hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay" all you notice are the tears running down your face, and remus' arms around you. as he holds you and tells you that everything is fine. 

once you calm down, he waits a bit to ask

"what happened? do you wanna talk about it?" he asks, and you don't even look at him, not wanting to see the worry in his eyes. 

"no, it's okay" he seems disappointed with your answer, but doesn't stop rubbing your back "thank you" 

"it's nothing" he tries to find something to say, something to comfort you, but before he can even think of anything, you get up. 

"you're going to the party, right?" you look at him, drying your tears. 

"are you gonna go?" he asks, frowning. 

"yes" he seems a bit surprised, because now you're smiling. 

"then yes" you smile even more at his answer. 

"i'll see you there" you give him a quick peck on his cheek before walking away. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next time remus sees you, you're dancing, lily and marlene next to you.

he stands away for a bit, not in the mood to dance, but when he sees you're gonna refill your cup for the fifth time since he has been there. he decides to approach you. 

"hi" he says, standing next to you.

"hi remus" you smile at him, drinking from your now full cup. 

"how many of those have you had?" he asks. 

"i don't know, seven, maybe eight? who cares" you tell him, holding his hand and dragging him to the dance floor, but he quickly redirects you to one of the sofas. 

"i do, you're gonna pass out if you keep drinking" he says as he tries to get the cup from your hand, but you quickly move your hand away and frown. 

"i'll be okay"

"no you won't"

"i'm not even that drunk"

"you saw sirius and called him reggie" you smile, remembering the horrified look in sirius' eyes. 

"they look alike" you shrug.

"you should stop drinking"

"i'll be okay" he tries to reply, tries to tell you that maybe you won't, but you get up, and before he can even stand up, you get lost among the people. 

the next time he sees you, you're on the couch, head in your hands as you try to stop the tears from your eyes. 

remus sits next to you. a hand on you back as he leans to see your face. 

"are you drunk?" you nod "do you want to go to sleep" you nod, so he gets up and holds your hand, making your way through the crowd. 

once you reach the hall, he doesn't let go of your hand. he notices that something's wrong, he notices that you haven't complained to sirius about being in a pureblood family, like you do each time you receive a letter from them. he notices that you're trying not to cry. he notices that you're barely holding his hand, maybe it's because you're drunk or you're too sad to. 

and he wants to say something, he wants to help. but he decides to wait until you're in your room. he helps you get your makeup off and change into your pjs. he's folding your clothes while you're sitting on the side of your bed when he hears smalls sobs. 

he immediately sits next to you, drying your tears. 

"it's okay, everything will be alright" he hugs you, mentally cursing when you shake your head. 

"you don't get it" you tell him, in between sobs. 

"then explain it to me" he says, wondering if it's the same thing as what happened at lunch. 

"i can't" you sigh, pulling away from him as you dry your tears. 

"yes you can, i want to help you" his hands go to your face, holding you. 

"you can't-" you insist, putting your hands over his. 

"please let me help"

"remus-"

"i don't care if it's hard, i want to help" he insists, staring at your eyes. 

"let's sleep" he knows better than to insist more, so he just lets you sleep. 

when you wake up, you don't talk, you just walk with him to breakfast, and when you're finished, you walk away, not letting him know where you're going. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

"i don't know what's happening in between us, but-" you look away from his eyes "i can't do this"

"what?" he asks, praying that he's dreaming, or that it's a bad joke, praying that you're not breaking up with him, even if you're not together. 

"what did i do? what happened?" he tries to find your gaze. 

"you didn't do anything, i just can't" i have to marry someone else. 

"let me fix it, whatever i did, let me fix it, you can hate me but don't go away" 

"i'll probably leave school as soon as i can" you admit, you don't even know why, you just don't want to disappear without explanations. 

"what? no, you can't leave" he panics, he looks around trying to find someone laughing at him. he doesn't. 

"i'm sorry" you talk, unable to look at his eyes. 

"don't, please, don't apologise" he says, grabbing your hands, in case you want to run away. 

"i'm so sorry" you repeat. 

"you don't have to do that" he insists, because he doesn't want to lose you. 

"i don't want to hurt you" you tell him, thinking about the letter your parents just sent you, thinking about your future, which is already decided, not by the stars, but by your family. 

"then stay, stay here, with me" he pulls your hands, so your bodies are closer. 

"you know i can't" you lament, even though he doesn't know that much. 

"yes you can, you just have to try" he suddenly lets your hands go, taking a step away from you. and you try to get mad at him, but you can't, not when he's looking that hurt, hurt by you. 

"remus-" you try to get him to listen, maybe if he gives you a chance, you'll show the letter to him, you'll explain everything to him. how you have no choice but to listen to your parents. 

"are you even sorry? you don't seem to have tried to stay" you know he doesn't mean it, he knows he doesn't mean it. but it's better that way, it'll be easier if he's mad at you. so you don't answer. you just stare at him.

"you're not gonna answer?" he asks, tears on the corner of both of your eyes. "i thought you liked me" you swear you can feel your heart break as the words leave his mouth. 

"i do-" he cuts you off. 

"then why don't you stay? is it just a game to you? you wanted to play with me?" he keeps talking, he tries to stop, he wants to, but the hurt in his heart makes him keep going. 

"i didn't, remus, it's not that easy" you tell him, begging him to understand. 

"i never said i wanted things to be easy. especially not with you" he fights the urge to walk away, thinking that maybe there's a chance that you'll change your mind. 

"i don't want to hurt you" you repeat, maybe more to remind you than to him. 

"you're already hurting me" 

"you have to understand"

"when you defended werewolves from that guy you already knew i was one didn't you? maybe he was right and you're a bitch after all, did you tell him that just to shag me?" he doesn't even blink as he talks, pretending he's not mad at himself right now, even more than with you. 

"you don't mean that" you say as the tears fall from your eyes. 

"oh, i do" that's what it takes for him to finally walk away, letting the tears out of his eyes. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you couldn't focus, it was all too much. the pain from the unforgivable curse, the sadness from your own family doing that, the realisation that you could never go back to your house. 

all you could do is try to not pass out as you walk to the potter's mansion. 

once you reach their door, and ring it, you wait. you don't know if it was ten seconds, ten minutes or even ten hours. all you know is that when james opens the door, you practically throw yourself at him, who catches you as he calls for his parents. 

"i'm sorry" you whisper in between sobs. 

"it's okay, you'll be okay, everything's going to be fine" james tries to not show the concern on his voice, he really tries, but everyone must've sense it, because remus, sirius and peter quickly appear, staring at you as effie kneels down next to you. 

when you finally pass out, all you know is that it hurts, everything hurts. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you wake up with effie folding clothes next to you. 

"oh hi sweetie, how are you feeling?" she immediately sits next to you, touching your forehead to check your temperature. 

"good" you answer, quietly. 

"you have clothes here, you can take a shower and i'll make dinner" she walks to the door as you sit up. 

"effie, thank you so much, you don't have to do this, i'll be okay"

"we'll talk later" she doesn't give you room to talk, instead, she leaves after giving you a smile. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

effie and fleamont sit in front of you as you eat, staring at you and then at each other.

"we want you to stay here" fleamont is the first to talk as soon as you finish eating. 

"what? no, i can't, i'll find somewhere to stay"

"no, you'll stay here, we have your room ready" effie insists. 

"i can't" 

"sweetie, there's no way to stop this now, the faster you accept it the better" fleamont talks as effie gets up and tells you to follow her to show you your room. 

they leave you a moment to see your room before walking in. 

"thank you so much" you say before they hug you, drying your tears before they fall on your face. 

"it's okay honey, you'll be fine" they assure you before walking out of the room. "and, by the way, the boys are sleeping, we'll tell them to come here when they wake up, they're really worried"

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

he thinks it's unfair, remus thinks that it's unfair that you're talking to peter like nothing happened, that you're playing quidditch with james and sirius like you weren't crying in his arms just a few weeks ago. he thinks it's unfair that you haven't even glanced at him. he thinks it's unfair that you look like nothing ever happened, he hates that you're acting like everything it's okay, like you're not hurt by your family, by his words.

he also thinks he's being selfish, by slightly hoping that you're as hurt as him. that you think of him as much as he thinks of you. he hopes that you also have the urge to go to his room in the middle of the night. he hopes that you're as jealous as he is when someone starts flirting with you at the party james organised at his house. 

but he also thinks that none of it it's possible, that you look way too happy to be thinking of him, that if you're planning on getting drunk, you definitely don't want his help. 

he doesn't know if it was between staring at you as you flirted back with that guy, or when he was searching for you while you were nowhere to be found. but he gets drunk.

and suddenly, all the doubts he had about you disappear, because you're next to him, rubbing his back and asking him if he's drunk. and you wouldn't help him if you hated him would you?. 

he just stares at you as you hold his hand and make your way through the crowd, not so kindly pushing people who didn't move. you help him through the barrier james magically applied on the stairs so no one but his friends could walk upstairs. 

when you reach his room, you help him walk to his bed, which is kinda difficult seeing his stumbling tall figure. once he is in the safety of his mattress, you walk to the door, but his voice stops you. 

"i can't sleep with my shirt on" when you turn around, he's smirking. 

"then take it off" you turn your back to him again. 

"i need help" when you turn around, not before rolling your eyes, he's giving you puppy eyes. 

remus lupin. is. giving. you. puppy eyes. 

"you aren't that drunk" you don't even move from the door. 

"yes i am. you're really gonna leave me here, drunk and defenceless?" he lies back on his bed. 

"are you trying to blackmail me?" you frown, leaning your back onto his closed door. 

"is it working?" he asks, hoping it does. 

"no" he sighs, before leaning on his elbows to look at you. 

"c'mon love, just help me take my shirt off" you don't answer, instead, you just get closer to him, and help him sit up, once he is, he doesn't move, he just looks up at you. 

"you're not gonna put your arms up?" you groan, frustrated, when he just smiles at you. 

after a few minutes of work, due to his boycott, you finally take his shirt off, throwing it aside before walking away. 

or that's what you try, because before you can even turn around, his arms are around you. and you don't know how he's so strong, or why you didn't try to fight back more, maybe it was the alcohol. but before you notice it. you're on the bed next to him, and he's hugging you so tight that you have no choice but to fall asleep. 

when you wake up he's still hugging you, luckily not as strong as last night, so you can get up and slowly walk to the door, quietly closing it and making the way to your room. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

remus is almost convinced that it was a dream, he thinks he imagined everything when he wakes up and you're not there, he thinks it was his mind tricking him when you sit next to marlene at breakfast. even though he purposely left the sit next to him free. 

he's basically drowning in his tea when marlene says something that makes him look at you. 

"where were you last night? you left soon" he stares at you, noticing the way your eyes linger at him for a moment before saying that you were tired. and it would be childish for him to admit that it made him happy, that he doesn't even notice the hangover now, that he's smiling so much that even effie asked him about it. 

and it would be even more childish to admit that he's been giving james the idea to throw another party just before holidays end, that he doesn't need to invite anyone, just the group of friends it's okay. and who is james to say no to a party?. 

he spends more time that he wants to admit staring at you. as you talk to lily and mary, as you almost make sirius drop his drink, as you hug james. and especially, as you ignore him. so he does what he knows will make you talk to him, getting drunk. 

it follows the same order as the other night. you approach him, lead him upstairs and help him get ready to bed. 

"why did you leave?" he asks, holding your wrist after you tried to walk to the door. he sees how you think about the answer. and to be honest, he didn't think he was ready to hear it. 

"because that's what a bitch would do" you break free from his grip and walk to the door. he just stays there as you go back downstairs. 

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

the next morning, no one knows why remus looks so miserable, why he's being so grumpy to everyone, except you. why he's putting food on your plate, why he's making everyone put on the movie you want to see. 

they also don't know why you're ignoring him, why you offered the plate to james, why you changed your mind and told marlene to decide what movie to watch. 

but you knew, you knew because you've been listening to him apologise every other minute, you've been listening to him knocking on your door every night. you've been reading his apology letters. 

but that wasn't enough, because just two days before classes start again, he decides that he's had enough, and that he won't leave before giving you a proper apology. so he follows you to the kitchen when everyone is focused on the movie. and he stands on your way to the door so you have no choice but to listen. 

"i didn't mean it, and you know that, you know i'd never think that. and i know it's not an excuse, but it was days before a full moon, and i wanted to hate you, i wanted to hate you for making me love you and then leaving me. and i wanted you to hate me because i wouldn't be able to be around you. and i'm so sorry, i'll do anything to take it back, i need you to understand that i didn't mean it, and that i'm so sorry i ever made you feel bad. there's no day i haven't thought about you, about how much i miss you, about how i ruined everything. so please, give me a second chance, i'll apologise every minute if i have to, i'll do anything for you to forgive me. because i don't think i can stand the thought of what we could've had if i hadn't ruined everything." he takes a deep breath "i'm so so so sorry"

and you know that you shouldn’t, that he’s hurt you as much as you’ve hurt him. but you’re both teenagers, you both make mistakes, and you both miss each other. so you do what everyone would’ve done in this situation, and hug him, breathing him in.

“does that mean you forgive me?” he asks.

“yes, i’m sorry” you close your eyes, your head in his chest.

“you have nothing to apologise for, love”

“yes i do-” he cuts you off by pressing a quick kiss to your lips.

“let’s just go to sleep”

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

you don’t know why james drags you from the kitchen, where you were talking with everyone, to your room, with the suitcase half done on the floor. you don’t know why he slams the door. or why he’s staring at you like you told him you forbade quidditch.

but then he talks.

“did you forgive him?”

and you remember the conversation you had with him after spending a few nights here.

“weren’t you two in love?” you’re on his bed, still not used to your new room, you’re both laying on your backs, him throwing his snitch and catching it.

“who?” you ask, staring at the ceiling.

“remus” he says it like it’s obvious, and it actually is.

“i don’t know” you shrug. 

“what happened?” he asks. 

“i ruined everything” you explain. 

“that’s not true” he frowns. 

“how do you know that?” you chuckle. 

“you wouldn’t ruin anything” he says, so sincere. 

“i was supposed to marry barty” the snitch falls and hits his face.

“what?!” he immediately sits up. 

“so i told him i couldn’t do whatever we were doing" 

"and he just accepted it?" he's frowning even more. 

"he was sad at first, then mad, but he stopped talking to me, so it worked" you shrug again, and he gets closer to you. 

"mad?" 

"it's okay"

"i know how remus gets when he gets mad, did he say something to you?" he looks worried, already thinking about punching remus. 

"nothing to bad, the normal when the person you're in love with and it's in love with you dumps you for no reason" 

"what's the normal?" he questions. 

"james, it's okay"

and with that beautiful flashback, you come back to an angry james in front of you. 

"don't dare to move, i'll talk to you later, let me have a chat with remus first" he tries to get out of the room, but you stop him. 

"james wait" 

“stop trying to defend him, and don’t try to walk away, you won’t move until you tell me everything” he stands in front of you, arms crossed. 

"james let me explain" 

"you want to talk? talk, i'm not leaving until i know everything" he sounds determined, and you know that he won't stop until he knows everything. 

"there's nothing to know, just leave it" you insist. 

"what did he say to you?" he takes at step, so he's closer to you. 

"james-"

"what did he say to you?"

"james, stop"

"now, i won't stop until you tell me what the fuck he told you, and why you're together with him after that"

"because it doesn't matter, it's already over"

"it doesn't matter?! you're saying it doesn't fucking matter? after weeks of seeing you miserable, and because of him?" he pinchs the bridge of his nose. "honestly, if you're not going to tell me what he told you, then don't even bother talking"

he tries to walk away, again, but you stand in front of the door. 

"what's the point? i already forgave him, so, what are you going to do, make me leave him?" you question him, praying that he doesn't actually say yes. 

"you don't know what i'm willing to do for you happiness" he tries to walk past you, but you don't move. 

"please don't be mad at me" 

"then tell me what he said to you" his eyes soften, looking at yours. 

"why? what are you going to do about it?" 

"it depends" he avoids your gaze. 

"james."

"maybe punch him" he looks away. 

"james" 

"please tell me what he said" he asks, this time softer. 

and you don't know why, maybe it's the look on his eyes, or the fact that you know he wouldn't let it go until you did. but you say everything to him, from how you approached him, how you were both almost crying, how he walked away. 

and it takes him a moment to react, he's sitting in your bed, and you immediately get up to stand in front of him. 

"james…" he gets up. 

"i need to have a chat with remus" he tries to walk past you, but you don't let him. 

"james."

"what?"

"please, just, stay here with me. you can help me pack" you give him your best puppy eyes until he agrees, sitting on the floor next to you, passing you clothes as you put them in your suitcase.

‧₊˚ 🌕⋅♡𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ☾.

and it all looked perfect. it seemed like james had already forgotten everything by the time dinner is ready. and it seems like he's really happy when he suggests to watch a movie. 

but then something changes. maybe it was remus' hand on your tight, or the fight scene on the movie. but the next thing you know, is that there's a fist right in remus' face. and that fist belongs to james. 

"you said you wouldn't do anything!" you immediately get up, putting yourself in front of remus, while sirius and marlene pull james back. 

"i had to!" he says. 

"james!" you fight the urge to roll your eyes. 

"i'm sorry! but i couldn't help it! i had to do something about it!" he explains. 

"about what?" lily asks, and you stiffen, looking at james with wary eyes. 

"yes, about what?" james asks you, and you glare at him as mary and peter take care of remus' face. 

"about nothing" you immediately say, backing up as they all stare at you. 

and they're complaining about it as soon as you say it, but remus stops them. 

"about me hurting her" no one knows how to react, you just stare at him as he stretches his neck. 

"you fucking hurt her?" lily talks, walking towards him, and it seemed like she had the intention of repeating james' actions. so you step in front of her. 

"it's all forgotten, there's no reason to punch anyone" you stare at james "especially when you promised you wouldn't"

"i'm sorry-" he tries to apologise. 

"it's okay, i deserved it" remus talks. 

"no you didn't?" you tell him, but he just smiles at you. 

"i'm going to sleep"

you all stare at him as he walks upstairs, and when you turn around they're all staring at you. 

"if i forgave him, you can do it too" you say, especially looking at james. "so, i hope you apologise to him, because he deserves it"

when you get to remus' room, he's looking at himself in the mirror. 

"i'm sorry" you sneak in front of him, hugging him as you put your head in his chest. 

"why" he chuckles, hugging you back. 

"what do you mean why, are you stupid?" you questions him. 

"love, it's not your fault" he smiles as you narrow your eyes at him. "i deserved it" 

"shut up" you immediately pull away from him, storming out of the bathroom. 

he grabs your wrist before you can walk out of the room, and as soon as he gets it his arms are around you. 

"don't be mad at me" he pleads, and when you don't answer, his lips go to your cheek. "please" 

when you don't answer he just keeps kissing you. 

"please"

this time is your other cheek. 

"cmon love"

your forehead. 

"just talk to me"

your nose. 

"please"

your lips

"love" 

your neck. 

and you know that he'll start going lower if you don't stop him. and you know that if he does you won't be mad anymore. so you pull away from him. 

"you're stupid, remus lupin" you glare at him "if you ever say that you deserve any hurt ever again i'll be the one punching you instead of james. and i'll also cry" 

"why would you cry?" he genuinely asks, putting one of his hands on your cheek. 

"because you don't deserve anything bad remus. you're literally an angel" 

"don't say that" you frown at him, and he looks away. 

"remus, i mean it"

"i know" he puts his forehead on yours "that's why i don't want you to say it"

"why?"

"because it's gonna make me love you even more"

before you can answer, he's kissing you again, this time for real, when he pulls away, he stares at you. 

"i know everyone already says that we're dating, but can we make it official?" his hands are on your cheeks, and he thinks that he's never been more nervous in his life. 

"i'd love to" this time, you're the one who kisses him, and you stay like that for a while, in each other's arms. before someone knocks on the door. 

when you open, you find james on the other side, with regret in his eyes. 

"can i talk to remus?" you narrow your eyes at him as remus appears behind you. 

"it's alright love" 

you go to the living room with everyone, and before you know it, james and remus are walking in, talking and laughing. 

everyone stares at them as they get closer to the couch. 

"what?" they ask, staring back at you. 

"everything's… fine?" lily asks, and when they both smile and nod, everyone smiles and cheers, a bit exaggerated. 

remus sits next to you, putting and arm around you and kissing you. 

and if before they were dramatic, now it's like their favourite team won the quidditch world cup.

"what?" this time remus and you ask, staring at them. 

"you just kissed?" mary says, not believing it. 

"yeah?" you answer. 

"why" marlene asks, narrowing her eyes. 

"we're dating" remus says, and the night ends between cheers, screams and hugs. 

sirius and james even cry a bit, hugging each other while saying "finally!" "we did it!" 

[redbuddi]

Joon uses Lily's deadname in the first 5 minutes of his video and the thumbnail is unacceptable. Her critical community is weirdly hellbent on justifying this even though this could easily be corrected by editing out and changing the thumbnail.

Idk if it's known that Lily tries to paint all of her opposition as transmisogynists then isn't it logical to put extra effort into making sure nothing about the video is or could be interpreted as transmisogynistic? Like this just makes me think Joon had an ulterior motive.

Yeah that's the thing. Of the videos out there that do criticize Lily, many of them are from drama youtubers who just refuse to give a trans woman any basic amount of respect. (A personal favorite/good example is in Just A Robot's video where he feels the need to point out that Lily is transgender despite it not being relevant, and says the word "transgender" so awkwardly that it's like he's afraid someone's going to overhear him saying it. what a guy.)

Lily does hide behind the "everyone's just being mean because I'm trans" defense whenever criticized and it's very easy for her to do so because unfortunately most of the time she is actually correct in that assumption. She has had to deal with very legitimate transmisogyny because the type of person to make a video detailing all of her problems is usually also the type of person who loves to foster harassment of trans people in general.

Honestly I don't think anyone should be making videos about her at all anymore. The best way to make her go away is just to stop giving her attention. Don't watch her videos or give them dislike bombs, those count as engagement. Don't get into arguments with her. Don't make call-out posts. Just don't engage and let her wallow in her own little corner of the internet until she either gets the help she needs and logs off or her whole little cult of fandom inevitably implodes. We don't need any sort of internet cop to publicly shame her for her crimes, its already pretty well known not to trust her and her channel's growth has completely stagnated.

Nobody needs to do anything but leave her alone, in every sense of the word. I know this solution isn't as fun or scandalous as a public ousting, but not every bad person on the internet needs to be ousted. Especially when information on why she's bad is already readily available. Joon's videos serve no purpose but to indulge in the cruelest form of voyeurism under the guise of reporting, and the Lily Orchard video is no different. From the bottom of my heart, fuck that guy.

[cynical-rain-frog]

Albedo x fem? Reader

Themes: fluff, angst, unrequited love (but is it really? *winks*), misunderstandings (but they aren’t annoying)

Summary: You love Albedo but he starts falling in love with Lumine.

Story notes: this starts as fluff which turns into angst which then turn back into fluff. THIS HAS A HAPPY ENDING!!!

Author’s notes: This is my first time writing something this long so I apologize for any spelling errors, grammar errors, or format errors! It is not proofread. Also I kinda wrote this for myself so I imagined a Fem reader but I’m pretty sure the reader’s gender is never mentioned. Please don’t be too harsh but give me tips on things that don’t make sense with the story or aren’t very satisfying! Enjoy!

You loved Albedo. How could you not? He was the first person you met when you came to Mondstadt and although he seemed unfeeling and cold on the outside; he was actually very attentive and sweet. You knew he was capable of love. I mean, he clearly loved Klee, So why couldn’t he love you too?

You would spend hours upon hours with Albedo in his lab in dragonspine. You would assist him with anything he asked of you while you would talk to him about your life and ask questions about his. You felt comfortable whenever you were with him and he seemed to feel the same.

So how did lumine do it? What was different about her? You had gone back to mondstadt in the early afternoon to look after Klee at albedo’s request. While taking care of her you suggested to get some Cecelias and bring them to Albedo. (his favorite flower) Klee agreed and you went out to starsnatch cliffs to gather them.

As you walked up to his lab, you heard Albedo talking to someone. Rare but not uncommon. Rounding the corner into his lab you saw him giving the famous traveler, Lumine, a smile he had only ever given Klee before. Your heart dropped and you froze in your tracks. Klee ran up to Albedo holding the Cecelias.

Klee: “Albedo! We picked some flowers for you!”

She smiled wide and lifted the flowers up to Albedo’s hands. He smiled a loving smile and accepted the flowers.

Albedo: “Thank you very much Klee. These are very beautiful. Did you have any trouble gathering them?”

Klee: “Nope! Y/n got all the ones that I couldn’t reach!”

Albedo’s gaze lifted up to where you were still standing in the entrance to his lab. You watched his smile change ever so slightly as he locked eyes with you. You jolted and walked forward handing him the rest of the flowers.

Y/n: “h… here”

Albedo: “thank you, Y/n”

He turned back to lumine, who was watching the interaction and studied her for a second before tucking one of the flowers behind her ear. You could see a slight tinge of pink at the tips of his ears and you knew it wasn’t because of the cold. You stayed silent as he chatted with Klee for a few minutes before you headed back down the mountain with her. As you walked you felt tears welling behind your eyes. “Why were you so upset? It’s not like you owned him.” you thought to yourself.

The next day you had fleeting hope that the occurrence with lumine was just momentary attraction and nothing more. You were alone with him in the lab again when he suggested you become his apprentice. He could teach you alchemy and help you apply to the knights of favonius. Spending even MORE time with Albedo while also being useful? Yes please!

The weeks that followed were filled with long days learning alchemy with Albedo. To your surprise you had a natural talent for it, especially when creating healing ointments and potions! Albedo commented how you were a good student and how easy it was to teach you. You had to look away to hide the blush spreading on your face.

One particularly cold morning you got the lab earlier than usual. You walk around the corner to greet Albedo with a “good morning” but stop dead in your tracks when you see lumine is also there, sitting on a table while albedo prepares ingredients for your lesson. They are deep in conversation so they don’t notice you at the entryway. Albedo smiles softly to himself as he talks with lumine. You notice he is talking a lot more than he usually does with you though you can’t hear a word they’re saying. Your heart is beating too fast. Something inside you tells you it would be very uncomfortable if you intrude right now, so you decide to wait right outside the lab until the time you usually arrive. You step outside into the crisp cold air and sit down, bringing you knees up to your chest. You look up at the gray overcast sky and snow starts to lightly fall around you. You think back on how Albedo interacts with lumine. You really love him and as much as you wish you could be the person he smiles at everyday, you know that may not be possible.

Despite it being cold in the mountain, the warmth radiating from the lab keeps you comfortable. Combining that with being up earlier than you’re used to, you feel you eyes growing heavy. The last thing you think about before drifting to sleep is how handsome Albedo is when he smiles.

Your eyes flutter open and you see Albedo at a table working on an experiment. He isn’t wearing his coat and you feel very warm. You look around and realize you're sitting on a chair near the alchemy table in the lab. Lumine isn’t anywhere to be seen. You shift slightly and notice you have extra clothing on. It’s Albedo’s coat. Why does he have to get your hopes up like this?

You sigh and he turns his head to look at you.

Albedo: “Ah. Good morning, Y/n.” Y/n: “Albedo…? How did I get here?”

He shrugs and replies bluntly.

Albedo: “I carried you inside. You would’ve caught a cold if you stayed out there.”

Y/n: “Oh. Thank you.”

You’re searching for something else to say. Something to keep the conversation going, but you can’t find any words. There is a minute long silence between you two as Albedo finishes writing the results of his experiment. He stands up and walks over to you. You assume he’s going to ask for his coat back so you start to take it off. He notices you doing this and stops you.

Albedo: “you can keep it on if you want.”

Before you can respond he hugs you tightly.

Y/n: “wha-?”

You are surprised but not upset. You hug back. After a minute Albedo moves away while still holding your shoulders. When he speaks next his voice is soft and full of relief.

Albedo: “why did you do that? I was so worried when you didn’t show up for your alchemy lessons.”

Y/n: “I… thought it would be awkward if I intruded in your… moment with Lumine”

Albedo: “My… Moment…? Oh. You mean the conversation I was having with her? Yes that probably would been quite awkward for you.”

Upon seeing your wounded expression he explained further.

Albedo: “But not for the reason you probably think. You see, Y/n… I….”

He stops talking and sighs. His cheeks turn a slight pink.

Albedo: “Y/n. I think I am in love with you.”

Y/n: “What?! But- but I thought you liked Lumine?”

Albedo: “Ah… are you referencing the day where I tucked the flower in her hair? In retrospect I will admit that was childish of me... I was upset that you hadn’t noticed my feelings so I tried to make you jealous.”

Y/n: “What about the conversation you had this morning? I clearly saw you look very much in love while talking to her.”

Albedo: “We were talking about you.”

His words make your face heat up.

Y/n: “So this whole time… you were in love with me?”

Albedo: “Yes.”

Albedo gently tucks your hair behind one ear. With his other hand he puts a Cecelia behind that same ear. He leans in close and kisses your cheek.

Albedo: “Think of that as my apology.”

His smile is full of love. So YOU were the one he was in love with the whole time. You think about how you acted and feel silly.

Y/n: “Apology accepted.”

You lean in kiss him.

[night-raven-tattler]

Hello there, I recently became a follower and I love your writing so far, keep up the great work and I hope you’re having a wonderful day

I saw that requests are open so if it’s alright, can I get headcannons of the first years (separate) and shows/movies they’d enjoy watching with the reader?

Thought it’ll be pretty fun and an excuse for me to get recommendations lol, thank you!

Hello, Aesthetic! Thank you for your kind words! This was a bit of a challenge for Mx Tattly, since they are not a huge movie person. However she hopes you still enjoy his takes. They also wrote from the perspective of the Prefect/Yuu having access to some movies from their world of origin. Enjoy!

Movie night, otherworldly edition

Characters: Grim, Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, Ortho, Sebek and GN!Reader (separate)

Warnings: food mention (Epel's part)

By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Grim's preffered genres are: comedy, action, animation, fantasy

Grim trully is a child at heart, and all the colorful characters and scenes from animation have him hooked

He also enjoys a good laugh, especially visual gags

He barely has any attention to spare for a series, so movies are his preffered format

He would never admit it but he's a sucker for found family

Silent movie crier

Loud denier

Some favorites from your world: Home; Bolt; That one Wizard Boy Movie we Don't mention in This Household; he has a weird relationship with Ace Ventura

『••✎••』

Ace's preffered genres are: horror, thriller, action, adventure

He enjoys gorey stuff and being the guy you hide behind of when the scenes get too much, but he needs time to prepare for psychological horror

Ace is the type to look up spoilers before watching something and he tries to trick you into believing his made up version of the plot

He talks a lot during movies but hates when others do it

While he enjoys a good adventure movie, he hates superhero movies and he thinks they're silly

He prefers movies over series because he likes the format more, but he's down for a short series

Some favorites from your world: The Mummy; Jumanji (he loves making fun of it); American Psycho; Scary Movie

『••✎••』

Deuce's preffered genres are: action, adventure, animation, family movies

He is pretty easy to please, he'd watch anything that is entertaining

Definitely a Marvel fan

He also loves animation movies, the animation always leaves him awestruck

He likes movies about families and their bonds

Deuce is also surprisingly into medical dramas... but also cop dramas

He is a crier as well but only when he's just with you

Some favorites from your world: Black Panther; The Rookie; A Goofy movie; Police Academy 2

『••✎••』

Jack's preferred genres are: documentary, adventure, romance, dramas and telenovelas with a bit of nudging

Jack is the type of guy to retain various informations after watching something

He can sometimes memorise entire scenes, and he finds that habit less annoying when he watches documentaries; he likes something informative and motivational

Jack also enjoys some romance movies sometimes, but he is very picky so it's hard for him to find one he actually likes

He does, however, like to point out and comment on the weird courting habits humans have

Jack finds telenovelas and soap operas kind of nonsensical and overly dramatic, but he also gets hooked on the plot pretty quick and soon enough it would become a bit of a guilty pleasure

Some favorites from your world: David Holmes, the boy who lived; the social dilemma; Love, Simon; Yo soy Betty la fea

『••✎••』

Epel's preferred genres are: comedy, action, western, anything he can mock and make fun of

If you think Ace is bad with his mid watch commentary, Epel is 10 times worse

He mocks things in movies so often he's giving Cinema Sins a run for their money

He won't shut up even if you give him all the snacks, he'll talk while eating

He also has the most colourful, boisterous, ridiculous laughter imaginable (and I say that lovingly), so if the comedy movie is not making you laugh then Epel's laughter is

Epel is not a picky watcher so he can get behind anything that isn't too sappy

If you pull out anything with Vil on the poster though he will dematerialise from your couch

Some favorites from your world: Rush Hour; Desperado; Puss in Boots 2; any Fast and Furious movie (unfortunately)

『••✎••』

Ortho's preferred genres are: anything he finds intriguing, family movies

If anything, Ortho has a wide palate and can enjoy almost anything

He also knows how a movie ends before he watches it, but it never ruins his enjoyment

He never spoils anyone unless they try to argue with him about the direction of the plot

Most of his interest in movies came from wanting to understand human behavior better, but now he can just use them as a time killer or sleepover material

He also likes watching your reactions to the movies: how often you laugh, how often you cry, how often you reach for snacks

A favorite from your world: Big Hero 6

『••✎••』

Sebek's preferred genres are: historical films, (period) dramas, musicals with the right nudge

Listen here, musical enjoyers. Here is the most susceptible one to being convinced to join the dark side

One word: Hamilton.

Yes, he'll think the music is nonsensical, BUT he'll also tap his foot to it

AND if you say anything about teaching him something from the soundtrack to surprise Malleus with, he's all ears

He is also very quick to get songs stuck in his head: he's easy prey

All jokes aside, Sebek can be a good watch buddy when his interest is piqued

Not even he can deny when a movie has good plot and characters

He does prefer period dramas, since he has a soft spot for the setting

And historical films: a nerd do be nerding even during movie nights

Some favorites from your world: The Crown, Hamilton, Les Miserables, maybe Oppenheimer but it would be used in his anti-human agenda

『••✎••』

Speaking of Oppenheimer...

Well, let's discuss Barbenheimer.

Everyone went to watch both movies:

Ace went dressed in pink for the both of them

Deuce got confused by the "dresscode" and apologised to you for not knowing about it

Jack and Ortho enjoyed both

Epel insisted he liked Oppenheimer more but he's lying

Sebek cried at the end of Barbie

Grim is the only one who in fully in Oppenheimer's corner

[voonroo]

Twisted Wonderland Mafia AU Introduction

⌐‣TWST MAFIA AU

Want more? Check out the masterlist↩︎

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This could 100% be expanded on if I actually ever get back into TWST. I'm working on clearing out some old works deep in the depths of my Google Docs and Notes app because I feel kinda bad for disappearing suddenly😋 This is actually from late 2022... Thanks to @justcallmecj for encouraging me to post this again.

The Night Raven District is a district full of criminal groups who will do anything to keep their city to themselves.

There’s the RSA District, which has, for years, been trying to reclaim property from the Night Raven District. No one knows what RSA stands for. However, it is thought to stand for the phrase Recover, Seize, Adjust, as it is the group's job to salvage stolen districts and cities from the unruly.

The Mafia Groups

Heartslabyul

A group of gamblers whose intent is to teach others self-restraint. Most often you will find anyone apart of Heartslabyul at night, or in a casino. There is always a member of Heartslabyul in the city's most popular places for a quick gamble.

A considerably notable pattern to identify one of these members is if they have the symbol of a heart, spade, diamond, or clover painted under or on the eye. The explanation for why it’s so easy to find them is that they don't hide, they aren’t doing anything illegal so they see no need to. Or at least the majority of them. It is effortless to become a part of this clique if you can withstand the harsh rules that come with it.

Savanaclaw

This pack is full of fighters. Svanaclaw does the most around the city pertaining to almost anything physical. Is someone getting a little too close to the district? They’re the first to do something about it. Most will jump at any opportunity to turn something into a challenge.

Numerous people in the group have fought for something or someone. Most likely being unsuccessful, but don’t speak of it. Or else you might be on the news the next morning, for these people aren’t known for their steady temper. To be a part of this club, you have to be physically strong and have vigorous will.

Octavinelle

Largely Octavinelle members are by the coast dealing with outsiders who don’t know any better. Those that aren’t? They oversee a lot of legal issues. Such as digging up dirt on others and using it for their own advantage. They're good with their words, many of which can get just about anyone under their thumb.

The captain of Octavinelle owns a pub near the docks. Though, he is pretty well known to be your typical everyday businessman. These people aren’t always the strongest, nonetheless, don’t get too comfortable. You never know when they’ll make you walk the plank and feed you to the sharks.

Scarabia

This party is one of the lesser-known groups. They are often found in the city shops during the day. You wouldn’t be any the wiser. Because the group is the smallest compared to the others, it’s hard to identify hardly anybody that’s part of the Scarabian folk. They’re onlookers.

It’s said they “help” the other mobs with some inside information. No one knows where they get said information, it is said that there is a particular person that can with just a few words. The leader of the Scarabia team is very in-depth with the local trades, they're able to get anything for a good price.

Pomefiore

Another community that isn’t well known. It’s difficult to get into the prestigious group of Pomefiore. You must be hand-picked by the crown of this cluster. This group is the most out and about in public. You secretly see the members every day.

Evidently, they are remarkably nice to look at and often speak with higher-ups. The director of this group is never seen without other group members especially if they’re ones that he himself, needs to whip into shape. They’re also good at covering their tracks and hunting others down.

Ignihyde

Ignihyde is the least-known group out of the big seven. These people work behind the scenes, in the backgrounds. Either covering up news stories or scrolling the dark web for more stockpiles. It is said that the supervisor of Ignihyde was the cause of a nasty computer virus, putting thousands of electronics out of service.

There is still no known fix to this virus. Or maybe there is, you just have to pay a hefty price. Only those of the best technicians or engineers are even considered to be given a role in this organization.

Diasomania

The most powerful body of the Night Raven District. You’d have to really fuck up to catch even a glimpse of someone from this group.

The boss of this body is fairly notorious. This troop has the strongest defense against just roughly anyone. If there’s ever a fight with Diasomnia in it, they will come out on top. For years this group has kept RSA at bay. No recent members have entered Diasomnia for years, the only way to get in is to have caught the eyes of a certain individual.

Word Count: 803

[yakuzacanons]

Yakuza Headcanons: Watching Spooky Movies

Oooooo it's the spooky season ain't it. Hello hello I rise from the grave to bring you some fresh headcanons for the season. For those with asks still in the inbox, I SEE em, just been busy with my horror movie marathon. Anyways, some headcanons below da cut to tide you over. Also welcome bouncing baby boy Ichiban to the gang!

Kiryu Kazuma

Isn't scared easily by much of anything so it's really easy to get him to watch horror movies. Mostly watches them because someone else is too scared to watch them alone. He's the person they can hide behind or who will tell them when a particularly horrifying scene is over.

Gore doesn't bother him as much as something or someone looking creepy or offputting will. Kiryu still won't get scared but he will get uncomfortable. Most of the time he just reacts by going "Ah... oh!"

Fond of the classics and will gravitate towards movies with a strong and likable protagonist. Likes The Evil Dead, Aliens, and Halloween. Directors don't matter much to him.

Majima Goro

He's a mixed bag. If a movie is well put together, then it can scare him pretty easily. He's most scared of ghost stories or paranormal things. Least afraid of slashers because he thinks he could just beat them all up.

Cannot stand jump scares. Sometimes he evens yells at his TV at home in irritation, saying things like "Oi, whaddya keep makin' loud noises for? Sheesh!"

Honestly, the weirder the movie the better. It might seem stereotypical for someone who looks and acts like Majima but he thinks the whole point of horror is to be interesting. Fond of Takashi Miike movies like Ichi the Killer, Audition, and Over Your Dead Body.

Akiyama Shun

Doesn't watch a lot of movies because he totally falls asleep during most of them. He'll at least give it a shot if you ask nicely though. Honestly more motivated by the fact you might cling to him during the scary parts than anything.

As much as Akiyama is a total ladies' man and romantic at heart, he always laughs whenever characters start being intimate during horror movies. He makes jokes out of it, saying things like "Babe, would you still love me if we were in a spooky movie?"

Movies with a good soundtrack actually help him stay awake. Jump scares annoy him though because if he falls asleep, the noise makes him panic. Fond of monster movies or movies about animals like Jaws, Shin Godzilla, and The Host.

Saejima Taiga

Genuinely not scared of a single darn thing. If you want to watch it, he's down to give it at least a try. He might nod off if he's tired or bored, but he tries his best not to. Horror comedy is okay with him too although he might not get all the jokes.

Most of the time he sits with his arms crossed, paying full attention. He's kind of funny in that he makes noises like "Heh" or "Hmph" when a character is caught off guard by something. Makes an occasionaly "Tsk" sound at jump scares. Otherwise he's not reactionary.

Particularly fond of slashers, probably because those usually have villains that are actually kind of his size. He enjoys the Friday the 13th series, particularly Jason X.

Tanimura Masayoshi

Type of guy to be like "Ooh let's watch this, I heard it's really scary" and then proceed to either get scared out of his wits or say something like "Wait, that's ALL?" at the end. Bases most of his movie choices off of other people's recommendations since he's usually too busy to randomly go see however many movies he wants to.

Doesn't really like horror that's super in your face. Gets more scared by the tension itself than anything. Always has movie snacks on hand.

Found footage is probably his most favorite type of horror. Likes The Blair Witch Project, Noroi, and REC. Fond of director Koji Shiraishi.

Ryuji Goda

Doesn't watch a lot of horror movies but like Saejima he's not scared of anything. He's also the type of guy to drop everything to spend time watching a movie with his partner. Gets a kick out of being a shield or protector during scary parts.

Likes movies with a lot of personality and campiness. Slow burns or psychological thrillers just put him to sleep. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad, as long as it's entertaining.

Didn't think he'd end up being much of a horror fan but he's quite partial to John Carpenter. Likes The Thing, They Live, and Christine.

Nishikiyama Akira

One of the bigger scaredy cats of the group. Won't suggest a horror movie but will totally act like he's not at all afraid if you ask to see one.

Honestly, the two of you end up just kind of holding onto each other during scary parts or pulling up the blanket almost over your eyes when a character is about to die. Violence doesn't necessarily bother him but excessive gore kind of annoys him.

Enjoys a good ghost story movie but only if you'll watch it with him. Anthologies are also good too since it offers so much at once. Likes Ju-On, Ringu, and Tales From The Crypt.

Mine Yoshitaka

Likes certain horror movies. Not scared of much but he does get noticably uncomfortable with torture movies like Saw or Hostel. He just finds it to be weird more than entertaining.

Fond of more classic monsters like vampires or werewolves. Mine's the type of guy to actually have a decent home theater setup, even if he doesn't get much time to use it, so he doesn't go to the movie theater much.

Has a soft spot for some of the really old classics in the 30's like Frankenstein or Nosferatu. His favorite horror movie is Interview With The Vampire.

Daigo Dojima

Probably the only one of the boys who actively enjoys slow burns and more psychological horror. He doesn't get opportunities to watch movies much but he does have an interest in the medium as a whole.

Particularly loves anything with spectacular cinematography. Good directing, lighting, or costumes really impress him. Kind of interested in some of the technical aspects as well. Also probably the only of the boys to ever look something up on IMDb.

Especially fond of movies by Kiyoshi Kurosawa. His favorite horror films are Kwaidan, Cure, and Pulse.

Tatsuo Shinada

The biggest scaredy cat of all of the boys. Will attempt to watch a spooky movie with you at least once just for the sake of trying but will honestly just close his eyes if he feels overwhelmed. You HAVE to hold his hand though.

Probably the only one of the boys who actually gets squeamish easily. Gore and blood make him uncomfortable, although he has SOME tolerance in general. He'd just rather watch something that's not super heavy on bloodshed.

Horror films with a particular visual style, especially super colorful ones, make it a lot easier for him as he can actually see what's happening and he feels less worried. Movies like House or Suspiria are good for him. Also likes super over the top movies like The Lost Boys or Killer Klowns From Outer Space as they're so hilarious to him that he forgets to be scared.

Kasuga Ichiban

Somewhat easily scared. He gets more shocked or surprised than scared, honestly. The movie HAS to be interesting to some degree or he will just conk out and there will be no waking him. Doesn't mind jump scares since they help keep him awake at least even if the movie's bad.

Having said that, he does enjoy taking the time to see a movie that's genuinely just really good and talking about it with you afterward. Movies with really good effects tend to impress him a lot. It's also more visually memorable.

Tends to like movies where the main character has special powers. Partial to zombie movies since a lot tends to happen and involves multiple characters. He likes 28 Days Later, The Dead Zone, and Carrie.

[the-unexplained-council]

I have been tortured by this fic idea for weeks so im shoving upon your soul. So basically-- its a platonic like 'teen + Gricko (or the krew in general)' and like. Reader was taken as a child to perform in the circus that he rescued Hootsie from. So its like... he meets them and he realizes what happened and so he rescues them and Hootsie. And its just all the found family.

I apologize in advance for how jumbled and messy this ask is. But like, the idea of parental krew with a teen reader who's never really had parental or familial relationship before makes me so happy.

Anywho-- Your writing is wonderful and makes me so happy and stim so so much!!! Much (platonic) love frendo!! :D

YESSS i was thinking of making some platonic kid and Krew or teen and Krew stuff!! I feel like Kremy and the teen would butt heads at first because carnie kid that has known nothing but conning (cuz that’s what carnivals are to some degree) and then the master of the art just wouldn’t get along at first because Kremy doesn’t have the patience when the teen is refusing to be ordered around. It would take a while for them to warm up to each other, and when they do they’d be sizing people up from behind the tent like “think we should try ‘em?” “Yea” “yea 😈” “yea😈😈” and insert evil little giggles.

The teen and Gideon would be like a 7/10 chance it would be a really wholesome “lemme teach ya the ropes kid” type relationship.. unless the teen is like a really testing person then Gideon would be the “how about I teach you how to fight.. with my fist in your face” and the two bickering and at each other because Gideon is 100% a 16 y/o boy at heart because I said so. But then they’d respect each other after some stupid contest or something and then they’ll both be like “😈gonna punch that stupid tree” “do it big guy I’ve got your back” or something stupid just for fun as a bonding experience or smth. Twig would probably be the exact same instead she’d try to bite your face or some shit.

The teen and Gricko would be like the relationship between Gricko and Will from the campaign, if you haven’t gotten that far ahead basically Gricko will try to be “cool” to “appeal to the masses” to get your approval of him because he’s funny. “What’s up my… skibidi sigma rizzlord” (he actually talks like this to Will im being deadass/srs) and do the arm crossed 45° turn. Then he’ll learn he.. literally doesn’t need to do that please stop doing that by the Gods- he’s your dad, boogie woogie woofie!!/ref he’ll be giving you gifts unprompted and treat you like his kid right off the bat even if you don’t want him to, you’re stuck with him, he’s the dad now

Frost would respect you, like genuinely respect you right off the bat. You’re scared of the new environment? He gets it, he’s giving you some peace with the offer to help you any time. You’re angry all the time? That’s fair, he understands to a degree and he’ll let you take your anger out on him (even if it’s attempted physical, kids’ not gonna land a blow) but he will respect you. He’ll observe and listen to you the most immediately, be the most open minded. He’ll take it easy and test the boundaries occasionally to test the swampy waters, he’s there for you but also firm in expressing that he deserves respect too like how he gives it. I feel like no matter the onset of the teen Frost would be accepted the fastest. Then they’d talk shit about everyone behind everyone because Frost is the wine aunt that talk shit about everyone because I SAID SO. “I hear Gideon say he ate Kremy’s leftovers and blamed you” “Fuckin bitch.. -_-“

Torbek.. :( I love you Torbek.. the guy would be scared of an angry teenager, hiding behind anything he can like a thin trunked pine or a light pole—comically thin or small things from his frame. His worst nightmare.. is unsurprisingly emotional teenagers. I mean.. why wouldn’t it be? Even if the teen is really soft spoken Torbek is scared of the probability of the kid snapping from emotional pressure. He’d love to try and make friends though, offering things and including them in his drawings, stuff like that! And if the teen says something mean he’d say that, but then not really change anything?? Eventually the both would warm up to each other but like.. idk I just imagine it being comically funny to watch.

And then obviously the teen and Hootsie are best buds, no other option, everyone loves Hootsie T. Cutesie Grimgin and that’s a fact.

I’m so happy you like my writing!!! /gen I plan to write more im just a busy college student 😔 I shall prevail, and I shall feed this fandom of my heart and soul with a lil bit of my blood and tears mixed in it if it’s the last thing I do

[erika111111]

Just to show everyone how truly toxic and evil these Rylan shippers really are. I rest my case.

NEVER ONCE did I say if you like a gay ship are you misogynistic or fetishize gay men. I said that specifically about the Lyan-hating Rylan shippers, NOT EVEN all of the Rylan shippers. Using the term "braindead" is ableist and disgusting (I actually lost a relative who went braindead after having a seizure so this really fucking triggered me). Apparently these people would rather use ableist insults against me than actually read my damn post, because I NEVER said that, and never would. I literally ship several gay ships, just take a look at my blog, man. Sure seems to me like some people got butthurt and despite me not calling them out specifically because these were NOT the people I was targeting with my posts, my post triggered them because they took it as a personal attack. I also said I ship LAURAMAX, not Lyan. I made a whole ass LauraMax playlist. I don't EVEN like Lyan. I stood up for the minority group that was being bullied, I'm not "hiding behind canon" to "ship my shit" or whatever. I actively ship LauraMax, there's no insecure canon shield being held here, I don't like Lyan, but again, canon is canon. I'm not wallowing in any misery, but clearly you are, or you wouldn't be attacking and mocking me behind my back when I literally didn't say a single word to you. No one's hiding behind canon. Canon is canon. If you don't understand what that means, that's your problem. And for the millionth time, not all Rylan shippers are bad, misogynistic, or fetishize gay men. I met some very nice Rylan shippers. I said the LYAN HATERS and the Chrashley/Jossam haters you get around here are. So stop accusing me of whatever bullshit you're accusing me of (homophobia, pfft, nice try, I ACTIVELY ship Blygbank, Jemily, and ChrisMike; again, how about you actually take a look at my blog and PUBLIC likes before making baseless accusations) and actually read my damn post before you get offended and sarcastic and start attacking me and making nonsensical accusations. Never once did I say that the only way to like Rylan was to be delusional, misogynistic, or fetishize gay men. Never. I specifically said I don't care what you ship. Again, it was targeted at the Lyan haters and people like them where they literally admit to that sort of thing. But okay, just make up lies about me because you're angry and miserable, that's cool too. Also I don't believe I ever said anything about race?? So I sincerely hope that part wasn't about me too. I'm literally in an interracial relationship and I'm the POC.

And seriously, how the fuck is saying someone saying it's disgusting for people to fetishize gay men render them a homophobe? That's the most nonsensical thing I've ever heard and the complete opposite of the entire point I was making with that statement. I'm LITERALLY saying it's disgusting for people to ship a gay ship if it's just because they have a fetish for gay people. We all know those people exist. Are they everyone who ships a gay ship? No, obviously not. But they exist and they're disgusting. That's the point I was making. That should've been obvious but again, I guess people can't see behind their rage to read that much. And I think just because I don't like this ONE PARTICULAR gay ship, you people were just waiting for the opportunity to call me a homophobe because it was easy even though it didn't make sense. But again, Blygbank, Jemily, ChrisMike, Jerin, and that's just from Supermassive Games. I like all kinds of ships, gay, straight, I don't care. Sexuality does not affect my opinion of any given ship. (Also, I made character playlists for the cast and put several gay artists in Dylan's, like Mike Taveira, JORDY, Passion Pit, all of whom I love dearly, and literally put a reference to Rylan but also putting Radiohead in Dylan's playlist as well, as Radioheads is the other Rylan ship name. But, you know, apparently I'm a homophobe. Whatever.)

Also, why try to attack me for being "new?" That's just weird. This blog is relatively new but I've been using Tumblr since I was 11. I didn't block anybody because I thought they wouldn't see my posts if I did, that's another crazy accusation and doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I block people I don't even hate, I just block people whose content I simply don't want to see, plain and simple. Some people view that as a stretch, yes, but I literally temporarily blocked some people who were talking about the Until Dawn remake because I didn't want to see it at the time, I had nothing against the bloggers themselves though. Who the hell would even assume blocking someone would make them unable to see YOUR posts? It's the other way around. Again, that comment was just weird. Also, for the millionth time, I said I don't care what you ship and this was not some call to get people to stop shipping Rylan. So no, I will not be dying mad. Once again, I sincerely just don't care. If you like the ship, good for you. Truly. I'm only mad now because you people shoved lies in my mouth and called me/my opinions some very insulting, disgusting things.

This fandom clearly does fucking suck. Thanks for proving it. Also even some Rylan shippers say the fandom sucks, so what say you to that? The only good in the fandom is not Rylan and I very much enjoy tons of other The Quarry content. Again, check my likes. And Lyan shippers get a whole lot of hate so why are people who don't ship Rylan the only ones who need to change and not the people actively hating the Lyan shippers? Hypocrisy.

Now block me and leave me the fuck alone. Literally attacking me for no reason. I didn't even know you three existed. There were no personal attacks and I didn't call you any names. I didn't call anybody any names, but you guys sure did. "Personal attacks, what you say about me, insults from unserious people, how insightful," you guys really thought I was talking about y'all. It's just sad. You made literally all of this stuff up. You really should calm down and actually read my posts first or maybe just ASK ME if I was talking shit about you guys behind your backs if you were concerned or offended. None of this had to happen if you just calmed down enough to communicate like adults. Yet, I'm the one not being an adult here? Okay. Your attacking me and hatred for me is completely unwarranted and unnecessary. I was talking about other people. But NOW I'm mad. @erzivy @pandanomalous @ghostradiodylan (And if there were more of you, I don't care, just block me as well and move on.)

EDIT: These people still keep shit talking me and spreading lies behind my back despite calling them out specifically and just wanting to move on. Can't have this keep affecting my day to day life and clearly nothing that I do will stop them from shit talking me and speading lies so I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and block them and stop engaging with this bullshit. The amount of lies and evil things that have been said to and about me is fucking overwhelming over a goddamn video game. This is no longer worth my time, sorry. I actually have a life unlike you people. Edit 2: It got to the point where these people are making alt accounts to continue to attack me and I just... don't have the words anymore. All I'm gonna say about this one is that I didn't put fandom wank in the tags, I don't even know what that term means, that tag was only used by the people attacking me but there were a lot of reblogs/replies so I guess it got confused somewhere. You can't force people not to tag things. And it's not "bEcAuSe i'M nEw," everything I actually did tag I did intentionally so you know, people would see it? If people with an unpopular opinion about a series can't even tag said series then you're doing nothing but intentionally silencing them because you disagree with them, plain and simple. Also the Lyan haters always tag "Lyan" and "The Quarry" in their Lyan hate posts and I don't see you complaining about them. Again, complete and total hypocrisy and it's pretty clear this argument isn't about being fair or moral, it's just about what you want and demanding that your opinion is the only one on the website. Same thing with Hackearney as well, although I also don't ship them, everybody tags "Hackearney" and "The Quarry" on their Hackearney hate posts too and I don't see you complaining about that even though there are also people in this community who are fans of and ship them too. So why does this nonsense only apply to Rylan? Hmmm. Leave me alone now. Please and thank you. Edit 3 and hopefully final, to clear my name of all the remaining slander: I was not talking about anyone on Tumblr, I was talking about people in chat/comments on Twitch and YouTube who were bashing Lyan shippers, fetishizing gay people, and ignoring canon. TheCaitlinMarie was one of the streamers/streams this happened on, I forget the others now. I was watching/participating in a lot of livestreams at the time and a lot of people were playing The Quarry to prep for the Until Dawn remake. Not everything is about you, Tumblr. You people obviously won't believe me even after citing proof, but whatever, that's your problem. I spoke my truth. Also, saying "you need better reading comprehension skills" to insult me, me calling you out for insulting me, you going back to edit and delete that portion of your post, and then accusing ME of being the one that started that insult is one of the pettiest, most childish things I've ever experienced. Just yet again proves me even more right that you people are the nasty ones desperate to make yourselves look like the good guys and demonize me. Also, laughing at/mocking someone's triggers/trauma makes you trash. And thanks for admitting to intentionally talking shit about me behind my back so you could try to get away with it. And all of you ignoring/not replying only to the specific portions of my post where literally every time I factually proved you wrong, not taking back a single slur, insult, or accusation because you're mad and embarrassed I proved you wrong. Peace. Though you'll probably never find it. Edit 4: @camillabanilla Justice Smith himself said that the "maybe neither" line meant that he was interested in Laura, so his feelings for her are canon; not the ship itself, but I quite literally never said that the ship itself was. Maybe learn something or actually read my posts before running your mouth. Thanks for proving my point as well, I'll add you to the list of toxic conclusion jumping trolls.

[theinternetisaweboflies]

Love’s What Makes a Shatterdome a Shatterhome Chapter 7

“I still can't believe you called me Newt in your head this whole time.”

“This again?” asked Hermann. He was somewhere behind Newt, setting the table, even though they were just having breakfast in their combination kitchen/operating room. Hermann hated it when Newt called it that, so of course he did so constantly. “Everyone calls you Newt.”

“Except my mother.”

“Because she never calls you." Hermann knew the punchlines to all his jokes now. 

Newt double checked that the stove was definitely turned off before bringing their jiaozi to the table. 

“It's cool. I think Otachi cured my mommy issues. Dads are all the rage these days.” Newt reconsidered. “Well, except yours. He can go jump in a Breach.”

Hermann had mostly stopped trying to suppress his amusement at Newt’s jokes, and Newt found himself missing the slightly constipated look it used to give him. At least until he had naturally stumbled upon jokes about Lars Gottleib’s imminent, and often, painful demise. 

“Thank you for the meal,” was all Hermann said, but he said it with a slightly constipated look on his face.

Newt hadn't done a lot of cooking in the past decade or so of living in Shatterdomes with fully, if uninspiringly, stocked canteens, but cooking was basically science for hungry people. Of course he was good at it. 

“You know,” he said, through a mouthful of egg and tomato, “I think you'd be a good dad, dude. You have so much experience taking care of me. We really should get a pet. I think I'm a dog person.”

“I never would have guessed,” said Hermann, which Newt hoped was a reference to his undying loyalty rather than his tendency to get excited about treats. 

“I can’t remember if this apartment allows pets,” said Newt. To be fair, he hadn’t thought he would live there that long. 

“I believe it does,” said Hermann, but Newt felt anxiety filtering through the drift, which probably meant he thought it was a bad idea. It was disappointing but understandable. Newt could barely take care of himself.

The ghost drift had started to fade a few weeks after their last drift. It was still equal parts mortifying and comforting, but it was no longer a TMZ Tell-All, which was to say: Hermann was hiding something from him. 

Newt knew that Hermann was hiding something from him, but he didn’t know what. He was pretty sure it wasn’t bad news, because Hermann kept smiling at him, and Hermann hated giving people bad news, even if he had gotten very, very good at it. 

Newt was trying to trust. Not so much Hermann, who he had trusted with stuff a lot more precious than his life. Newt was trying to trust himself not to have already fucked everything up. 

On paper, they were doing fine. They were still living in Hong Kong. Hermann was still considering the job offer he also received from Shao Industries, and Newt had gotten an interesting proposal from a marine conservation group specializing in the effects of kaiju blue, but they were taking a break first. Hermann had actually been the one to insist on it. 

Sure, the PPDC paid shit, but there hadn’t been anything worth spending money on for several years, between the war rationing and endless work hours. They had both saved up enough to take it easy for a while. 

Hermann forbade Newt to even touch his notes until he’d been fully cleared for work by the actual doctors who were now treating him. 

They bit the bullet and came clean to Herc, who had taken the whole thing surprisingly well, according to Hermann. Newt thought another three weeks in quarantine was cruel and unusual punishment, but he had unprecedented neurological trauma, so no one listened to him. 

Newt also had a little bit of a medical phobia these days, but that was mostly his drift memories from Mutavore about being experimented on by the Precursors. 

He had always felt some compassion for the kaiju, but now it was more like empathy. After all, they were both bioweapons. 

Newt may never have been as pants-shittingly terrifying as Otachi, but he could have been just as dangerous.

Hermann had stayed with him as much as possible during the second quarantine, but it was at Kowloon General, so instead of a queen-sized hospital bed, Newt got a twin with a mattress that kept inflating and deflating underneath him to prevent bed sores. He insisted Hermann go home instead of trying to sleep in the cot offered by the hospital. Both their backs were still shot to hell. Hermann agreed, but he came back bright and early every morning with pastries from Newt’s favorite bakery. 

PPDC doctors who specialized in the drift were brought in, and Newt got to meet some of the J-Scientists who had developed the S.E.C.R.E.D. Handshake, which was pretty cool even if K-Science was definitely still winning their feud.

Eventually, Newt was allowed to leave Kowloon General Hospital, with promises of regular outpatient testing. When he jokingly suggested a party to celebrate, Hermann had actually agreed. 

Tendo and Allison lived in Shenzhen, where he still had some family, so they were at the top of the guest list. Allison had to work, but it turned out Mako and the Marshall were in Beijing on business and could make the trip to Hong Kong. 

They were traveling a lot these days, determining the future of the PPDC, if it had one at all in a world without kaiju. Raleigh usually went with them. He’d started writing a book. It was not a destined bestseller about his experiences saving the world. It would probably still be a bestseller, unless he published under a pseudonym, but it was about The Three Stooges. The man had hidden depths. 

Newt had spammed the group chat until everyone told him their favorite food and then spent several days sourcing ingredients. He was making omurice for Mako, potatoes au gratin for Herc, tacos de pescado for Raleigh, and cha siu bao for Tendo, who liked to be difficult. 

“Are you sure you don’t want any help with the cooking today, Newt?” asked Hermann, as if he was reading his mind, which he probably was. “I would be happy to provide assistance or pick something up.”

“What, you don’t think my cooking is good enough?” Newt asked, before he could stop himself. 

Hermann collected their empty plates. He insisted on washing the dishes, since Newt did all the cooking. Before taking them to the sink, he paused behind Newt’s chair and leaned forward to press a kiss to his temple.

 “Of course I do,” he said softly. “You know that.”

“Oh,” said Newt. Decades of lowkey self-hatred were hard to reprogram, even with a PONs.

“Yeah.”

“I simply think that you should get to enjoy the party, especially seeing as it is a celebration of your well-being.”

“Oh,” Newt said again, even though he knew that too, if only because Hermann wouldn’t stop saying it. “Well, I enjoy cooking. It’s another way for me to show off, and it generally goes over better than keyboard riffs or kaiju spleens. ”

“Very well,” said Hermann. “Then I shall leave you to it, while I obtain our guests and perhaps dessert?”

Newt perked up. “Salted egg lotus cakes from Chiu Quon?” 

He had developed a small addiction for the salted egg lotus cakes from Chiu Quon, and Hermann enabled him frequently. Newt still hadn’t nailed his copycat recipe, even though reverse engineering was kind of his thing.

“Of course.”

“Great! Maybe the others can help me identify its elusive flavor.”

“Which you’re certain is neither lotus nor salted egg?” Hermann asked, again.

“Don’t insult me, man. My palate is, like, super refined now.”

“Well, some part of you had to be. Do you intend to wear that to the dinner party tonight?”

That was a pair of Godzilla PJ pants and an old lab coat Newt had taken to wearing in lieu of an apron.  

“The dinner party in our kitchen-slash-operating-room?”

“Please don’t call it that.” Hermann wrinkled his nose. 

“Fine, I’ll put on a shirt,” said Newt, but when Hermann's nose only got wrinklier, he added, “and daytime pants.”

“What did I ever do to deserve you?”

“I don’t know, man.” Newt tried to make it sound like he was joking too, “but it must have been pretty fucked up.”

___

“たんじょうび おめでとう, ニュート-おじさん!”

“What?” said Newt. “Mako-chan, It’s not my birthday.”

Hermann set a platter on the table that Herc and Tendo had just cleared. Each salted egg lotus cake had a candle in it. 

“It’s a bit belated, but we didn’t get much of a chance to celebrate at the time,” said Hermann, plating three of the cakes for Newt. “Now blow out your candles.”

Newt blew obediently, still trying to wrap his genius brain around what was happening. His birthday was on January 19th, but the Battle of the Breach had been on the 12th, so it had been spent in quarantine. He’d had other things on his mind. 

In his mind. 

“Happy birthday, Newt Oji-chan,” said Mako, mostly in English this time. 

“Happy birthday, mate,” said Herc.

“Are you crying?” said Tendo, who liked to be difficult. 

“No!” Newt scrubbed at his face with the hand that wasn’t holding cake. “I got smoke in my eyes.”

“Happy birthday,” Hermann said softly, “and many happy returns.”

“Wow, Herms. I didn’t know you did impressions too. That was a perfect Winnie the Pooh.”

“Oh, so you don’t want your present, then?” asked Hermann, arching an eyebrow at him. 

“No way,” said Newt. “You guys just saved my life. You did not get me presents.”

“Just one,” said Herc, “but it has a lot of parts.”

“Some of them move,” said Raleigh.

“What?”

Hermann disappeared into his bedroom, which they’d been using for storage, and emerged holding something tucked against his chest.

It was a puppy.

“What the fuck?” Newt whispered, already out of his seat and reaching for the small bulldog who was doing their level best to stick their tongue up Hermann’s nose. They happily changed targets, and Newt buried his face in their fur, in part to protect his nostrils, and in part to hide the fresh wave of tears. 

“Max had puppies,” said Herc. “Dr. Gottleib thought you might like one. Mako and Raleigh bought the supplies, Tendo bought the toys, and I did the potty training.”

“I smuggled him in while you were in the kitchen,” said Raleigh. “I thought for sure you would hear him when he woke up during dinner.”

“That’s why you started coughing?” asked Newt, even though it was a little muffled by dog fur. “I thought I made the tacos too spicy.”

Raleigh looked offended. “No such thing.”

“What are you going to name him?” asked Mako. 

“I refuse to let you name him after a kaiju,” Hermann said before Newt could reply, “or a cartoon character.”

“It’s not your birthday, dude,” said Newt, even though it wasn’t technically his either. He lifted his head to get a good look at his new puppy, who immediately resumed efforts to lick his brain through his nasal cavity. “I think he kind of looks like a Marvin.”

“That is a cartoon character.”

“I could name him Leatherback.”

“Marvin is a lovely name,” said Hermann. 

___

“I love you,” said Newt, as he, Hermann, and Marvin settled into their bed that night. Newt had never put together the twin bed he bought at Hong Kong IKEA, and when he got back from the hospital, it had been replaced with a queen-sized one.

“I love you too,” said Hermann.

“I was talking to the dog,” said Newt, but then added, “Just kidding,” because he never wanted Hermann to feel unloved, even for a joke, even for a second.  

“I know,” said Hermann. He scratched Marvin under the chin, and Marvin’s leg started thumping the mattress involuntarily. 

“I still can’t believe you pulled off a surprise party. We're drift partners. How did you even- You hid it behind all that “celebration of your well-being’ bullshit, didn’t you?”

“It was not bullshit,” said Hermann, looking mildly offended. “It was the truth. Besides… I- Well, I know you miss our ghost drift. I do too, but I wanted to remind you that surprises can actually be fun. On occasion.”

“You really do love me, don’t you?” Sometimes Newt still asked out of insecurity. Mostly, though, he asked to hear Hermann's latest answer.

Last week, it had been, “Newt, if my love for you could be quantified, it could only be represented by the axiom of infinity.” Even Newt knew that was romantic as fuck, and the kind of math Hermann did was all Greek to him. Literally, in this case.

The night after that, it had been, “Newt, if my love for you could be quantified, it could also potentially be represented by the following.” Then he wrote out a limit on the chalkboard in their bedroom that Newt was starting to think had appeared there for exactly that purpose. 

Newt was able to solve the limit, but only because he’d watched Mean Girls so many times.

The limit did not exist. 

Tonight Hermann was apparently feeling a little less romantic, because he said, “Of course I do, you foolish man. I still don’t understand how you could have ever thought I hated you.”

“Well, you do call me ‘foolish man’ a lot.”

“Oh, goodness. Just because our academic debates get somewhat heated on occasion. It's like… our version of the Kwoon.”

Newt barked out a laugh, and Marvin joined in. “I guess you’re right.”

“Did you ever hate me?” asked Hermann.

“Of course not!” Newt denied immediately, and then realized he was making Hermann’s point for him. Goddamn Socratic method. “Except for maybe that one time you stepped on my heart.”

“Your heart should not have been on the lab floor,” said Hermann, just as he had at the time.

“Those things are slippery, man,” said Newt. “Oh, hey, that just gave me the best idea for a Valentine’s day present. Shit! I missed it when I was in quarantine again. Can we have a makeup Valentine’s Day too?”

Hermann’s unsuppressed smile was still Newt’s favorite. “I would be honored to be your Valentine any day, Newton Geiszler. Even if I am somewhat concerned you’ll present me with an actual organ.”

“Not likely.” Newt scoffed. “Those things are expensive. Although I will have to come up with something good if I want to compete with you, won’t I?” He was speaking to Hermann, but looking at Marvin, so his voice had devolved into baby talk by the end. 

Hermann leaned over the dog to ensure Newt’s attention was entirely on him. It wasn’t difficult. Newt had come to learn that Hermann’s mouth was generous in every sense of the word. 

“Not everything is a competition, Newt,” said Hermann, when the kiss came to an end. 

“Not with that attitude.”

Hermann wrapped a hand around Newt’s wrist. He had developed a tendency to ground himself by touching Newt’s pulse points, which, now that Newt thought about it, probably went back to that first drift with Mutavore.

Hermann didn't say anything, but Newt didn't need him to. Their silences were no longer awkward, or strained, or brimming with unresolved sexual tension. They were simply…

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