#but it hurts the people i care about so idk what to do
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rizzanon · 21 hours ago
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SORRY SORRY I JUST NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR MOST RECENT CHAPTER ,,, IT WAS SO GOOD AND THE WRITING GOT ME SO EMOTIONAL ARGHGHGHGH
The fact that MC literally told Dick “This isn’t helping me at all— You pushed me aside” in no small amount of words and it didn’t sink into his thick skull is so realistic to people in general it’s making me hurt BAD. MC is better than me. The things I would have said to him would have been TERRIBLE. I would have made him cry too.
But it made me think like— what if they found out that she had actually ended up dying (in another timeline) as a result of their combined actions isolating her and whatnot… of not explaining to her in full that they actually care for her (or that most of them do). Like Idk . It makes me hurt to think about it, not for them, no. Nah, they were TERRIBLE to her. I feel bad for MC. Because girl how do move on from that :( The path to hell is paved with good intentions is like Dick Grayson’s motto in that chapter. All these mfs need therapy BAD.
HAHA TY!!! glad you enjoyed chapter 5!!! <3 🤭 (mc better than me too, i would have up and left if i could lol)
i don’t want to spoil too much, but the batfam in this new universe will definitely someday find out about mc’s regression. not that soon though (the plot needs to develop more 😇)
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eye-in-hand · 3 months ago
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There really is no getting to these people why am I even on this website lmfao
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dykedvonte · 2 months ago
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(abt my last ask) thank you for the answer, your understanding of charas is trully stellar!
I wanted to ask, what's your take on recovery!au (unless you intend to cover it in your fic)? In the universe, where Jimmy happens, but the crew somehow survives. Everyone is traumatised, Anya is pregnant, Curly is disabled (could he even be able to afford disability aids? Pony express in no more, would they even be paid a sufficient compensation?). There is also a question of p*lice investigation (or whatever agency is responsible for space crimes), even more trauma... Man, it's bleak.
-💀
I like them sad but for emotional and physical recovery reason rather than all the actual legal stuff that would ensue.
I like when Swansea relapsing is explored and Daisuke losing a little bit of his light. I am clearly a big supporter of Anya and Curly remaining close friend after but I think exploring the unhealthy dynamics of the trauma bond they’d develop should be played with way more. I think it’s a bit annoying when people are on the nose about Anya telling Curly he should’ve done more, especially when he’s struggling through recovery.
I feel like people really want her to be a character to rub salt into wounds, just to give her something cathartic, but it’s just OOC for me. It’s not a kindness thing but I don’t think she wants that sort of guilt to stay with him like that? He did not do what Jimmy did, he could’ve done more to stop it but she would not intentionally try to direct what she can never take out towards Jimmy at Curly. At least when they all make it out. This is not to say she doesn’t think he shouldn’t have any remorse but she understands that no one else could have foreseen Jimmy crashing the ship or getting that bad.
I like when it gets psychoanalytic in fics with the crew. Talk about Curly finally opening up on details on how he and Jimmy were friends, have the others realize how bad Jimmy was to even Curly, not a lot of people realize that they don’t know how Jimmy was to him. Have Anya be angry and snippy, have her worry she’s becoming like Jimmy even though she could never be like him, it’s that fear though, that she is owed that cathartic release and may take it out on others in some selfish subconscious desire to reclaim control for herself. Have her actualize-herself, is med school the only option? What does she want now? Does Swansea divorce his wife, give up on the life he created because he was just following the path of a good man, one he didn’t believe? Or does he stay and use the time he has left to make it something he believes in. How is Daisuke? Is he more mature or does he lose a little light? What are his new aspirations if any? His relationship with his parents?
Ultimately, I think a recover au should really focus on just them actually getting to know each other and filling themselves. So much of their interactions were likely based on coworker dynamics first. With that out the window they are now people who can’t really move on from each other but need to move on in life.
#ngl I’m a baby and do like recovery aus where jimmy dies and Curly is injured but not as badly#mainly because the theme of characters not getting what they desire both as like a reward and improper punishment hurt#like that should’ve been Jimmy in the damn cockpit like again wtf is wrong with curly cause he was just no fear or plan willing to risk his#life like again he would’ve eventually done the right thing and had to live with the guilt of not doing it sooner cause mans effectively#killed himslef with that stunt idk he’s an odd white fellow#I want Anya to be happiest in these aus because no one talks value the fear of becoming like ur abuser in a way like she’d be stuck on so#many ways he affected her and not know if she was like this before or he brought it out of her like would she feel like she gave curly to#him to abuse the bruises has to be obvious to a nurse did she really think they wouldn’t get into the med bay#was she being merciful to curly or not caring anymore like Jimmy wouldn’t? it’s not fair to her to have these thoughts#her attempts at doing the right thing were not misguided by selfish delusions but god she thinks they are for a bit Polle haunts her in a#different way as she realizes none of this was her burden and it shouldn’t be anyone else’s#idk post aus are fun but I just hate when people make it about punishing a character or overly pessimistic like damn get rid of that fix it#tag if nothing is resolved and everyon still wants to die 10 chapters in im trying to cry tears of relief i will be back for chapter 11#mouthwashing#ask#💀 anon
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spacedlexi · 9 months ago
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so often i see people try to downplay violet and minervas relationship like it wasnt Real enough or was some Inferior Romance that her relationship with clementine could Never compare to, and i find it so annoying and boring
she LOVED minerva!! and its okay that she did!! she was her first love!! childhood best friends turned girlfriends!! seeing her being so heartbroken and miserable about what happened to minnie, how deeply and desperately she missed her, hugging that bed frame so pathetically. but clementine makes her CARE again. makes her LOVE again. slowly violet becomes comfortable with the idea of opening her heart up to people again, after trying so hard not to because the pain of losing people she cared about was too much to bear (especially when she blamed herself for them being gone)
then she learns minnie didnt die. shes falling in love with clem while grappling with the fact that minnie might still be out there??
then she meets minnie in the woods. but minnie has changed just like she has. theyre both different people now. and slowly violet is forced to come to terms with the fact that the person she loved so deeply isnt that person anymore??
violet at the beginning mourning minerva and blaming herself, to shooting her to save clems life. she LOVED minerva once, but she doesnt like the person she is now. and shes not gonna let her hurt anyone else she cares about. shes done mourning her by the time they get to the bridge, only crying out for tenn
like idk i just find their relationship evolution to be so interesting and sad as shit. the fact that they once loved each other so much and it has now come to this?? but violet makes her choice and she Chooses clementine, because she admires and loves clementine, probably similar to the way she used to admire and love minerva if the way she talked about her is any indication
i just think "i never thought i would ever feel this way again" is way more interesting than "wow minnie Never made me feel like This"
#violet makes minnie a stronger character literally Just by being there#the way vi and minnie and clem all bounce off each other is so fucking good#CLEM SLEEPING IN MINNIES BED IS NOT AN ACCIDENT#clem has essentially replaced her. and minnie is seething about it. because she wanted them all to follow her to the delta#but instead theyre following clementine. who she sees as a threat to their lives. when in reality the real threat is her and the delta#now its minnie who is sad and lost and doesnt know how to grapple with it#instead doing what she can to save herself. even if it means hurting the people she cares about#and violet HATES THAT!! and shes willing to fight to save the people she loves#even if it means hurting someone she used to care about more than anything#she places that shot so perfectly. she doesnt WANT to hurt minnie. but she wasnt gonna let her hurt clementine either#she may have loved minnie once. partially blames herself for what happened to her. but theyre both different now. and she loves clementine#LIKE IDK that evolution is just so good and makes the clemvi romance even more strong??? violet knows Exactly what and who she wants#so by downplaying the vinerva romance it inherently makes her choice to choose clem weaker??#the more she loved minnie the harder that choice was. and she chose clementine#anyway this is why the clem vi minnie boat fight makes me bark like a wild beast#either i see people try to downplay her love for minerva OR they overhype it and act like she never got over her#when her getting over minnie is the whole point!! taken vi trusted her bc she LIED to her about sophie!! and clem broke her trust#god shes so heartbroken and confused in that cell get her out of there!!!!! vi i'll save you every time!!!!!!#thinking about clemviminnie instead of working what else is new#twdg#violentine#vinerva
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edwardallenpoe · 6 months ago
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Hey. Just wanted to put my two cents in, like everyone else on Tumblr dot com is. (It got pretty long so putting it under a cut)
I don't really care about what you think should happen to the fandom. Like. If you are going to continue to engage in the fandom without giving Neil any sort of gain is fine. I'm personally still on the fence on what the fuck to do now. But let's not make that the whole focus, yeah? What Neil allegedly did was fucking terrible. Like. Objectively worse than what JKR did when things first came out about her. Let's forget good omens and sandman and coraline for a minute (don't care if you still engage with those things or burn your copies and remove your tattoos, let's just put it down for a minute.) and try really hard to think. Because we all hated JKR. We burned her reputation to the ground. For good reason. But we can't even decide if we hate Neil Gaiman yet? Guys. Please. We have to believe all women. Plus he's a rich fucking white dude who has admitted to using his power for gain.
And if it turns out (which this is a 8% chance) that this is all not what it seems to be, or even all of it is fabricated, and Neil is innocent, we still gotta stop worshipping this dude. This has got to be a wakeup call that he's not some Messiah. He's a human dude in power who does the same shitty things human dudes in power do.
And I get it. You want to continue to like your stories that he helped create (key-word 'helped' bc he was a part of a team with a lot of these stories, including Sir Terry Pratchett) but me personally? I would be a massive hypocrite if I metaphorically burned my Harry Potter stories to the ground and put HP fans in my DNI because of JKR but said "separate the art from the artist" with Neil Gaiman.
And this is coming from any other Good Omens fan that became way too attached to the story. Like a lot of people have said that story helped in very. Very fucking trying times. It was my rock, some days the only thing keeping me going. The fandom has been an amazing place of creativity and community and love.
But so was Harry Potter. If you think about it. If any Good Omens fans were previous Harry Potter fans you'll know just how wide spread and open and creative and deep the hp fandom was. And this may just be me misremembering because it was a couple years ago at this point (plus everything with Neil Gaiman is still such news) but because JKR was spouting rhetoric that directly harmed us (us being majority queer and poc people) we drop-kicked hp pretty fast and focused on the artist and her shittiness.
Can we have the same attitude towards Neil? Can we separate the art from the artist long enough to fucking focus on Neil? When I say separate the art from the artist I don't mean "remove artist, continue to enjoy art" I mean "remove the art and focus on the artist, and study that motherfucker". How many video essays are their out about JKR? How many books referencing her terribleness? Without giving so much as a hint to Harry Potter?
Separate the art from the artist and focus on the artist and bringing him to justice. And believe the victims.
And yeah I can see your arguments against the source of the information and who the victims went to tell their stories, I can understand those arguments, but let's look at the data, okay? Let's look at what Scarlett and K actually said with their actual words and their actual messages and separate the source from the material. What Scarlett and K talked about is scary. Terrifying. I couldn't even read more than a little bit before I got triggered. I wasn't caring about how the source podcast was talking about it. What Scarlett and K said with their own words should be enough. Make your own judgements. If you can't look at a story without being influenced by the storyteller's hidden agenda and not have critical thinking skills????? I'm sorry but that's going to be your downfall.
Or better yet, if you can't believe victims because they have political views that differ from your own (which, they probably don't. From what I can tell nobody really fucking knows what Scarlett and K's political views are but it doesn't really matter) you need to really study and look into what you mean when you call yourself a "leftist". Because it's not very progressive or helpful to not believe or help victims because of their political views. Sorry. Is that wild for me to say? Idk
Uh anyways. I don't really care what you do in your free time when it comes to enjoying the fandoms. I don't necessarily think it makes you a terribly shitty person for still engaging in it instead of burning all your Neil Gaiman stories, and also like a lot of people have said (and since I'm on the same boat) treating fans like the scum of the earth when a lot of fans have had good omens as a way to escape and has become super dependent on good omens and are justifiably horrified by everything and trying to ignore it is shitty. But I'm personally going to continue to follow this story because I care about the victims. Not because I want to be guilt-free reading a fanfic about an angel and a demon. Because I care about real life people.
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sepiamestus · 10 months ago
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It always rubs me the wrong way when people characterize atsushi as too much of a sweetheart. Like he IS a sweetheart but he's also snarky and sarcastic and most importantly he's very very angry. Do not forget this.
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butchtifalockhart · 3 months ago
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“wow, cloud and tifa have such a fascinating dynamic! trauma-bonding as the sole survivors of a horrific massacre while also not having actually seen each other in years is such a cool way to explore trauma and growth! i wonder what people are saying about them online! :D”
what people are saying about them online, every time, without fail:
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yuripira4e · 8 months ago
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I want to preface this post by saying that I love the cat king as a character, especially one that has such a major impact on Edwin and his relationship with his queerness and learning to be okay with it; HOWEVER, I also believe that everyone that genuinely believes he should be a love interest for Edwin should read this. (Also if you just like the cat king as a character and want to understand his character better and why his and Edwin’s relationship is not something that would be healthy or “real” for either)
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#the cat king#i do not ship them but I don’t want to hate on those who do (mostly) I just want to kind of inform people of the creators meaning for their#Relationship because I keep seeing people saying they hope they get together in s2 and it’s really confusing to me#Their relationship stems from the cat kings own narcissism and predatory behavior and Edwin’s need for someone to push him into under#Standing that his queerness doesn’t have to be torture and can be something giddy#even if he doesn’t return those feelings#The cat king does like Edwin but he doesn’t know anything about him. He likes the game and then he likes the kindness he’s shown despite#Knowing the cruelty he’s presented to Edwin#Queerness and preformance always go hand in hand#He’s a older secretly insecure character#Edwin is the younger#genuinely kind character that shows him that projecting his hurt will never get him what he wants#It’s about the isolation of queerness and the walls put up and the coping mechanism used to protect yourself even at the risk of hurting#Those just like you. That kiss from edwin was to say “I’m sorry your loneliness had caused you to be cruel. It’s the easiest way to feel.#And while I cannot and will not give you what you want or need#you deserve to feel happy and not like you have to gain the attention of uninterested people#I can’t even explain all my thoughts about their dynamic it’s just so much it’s just about the predadation from older queers because of#The trauma they’ve endured and the cycle of hurt and the way we can break the cycle with kindness while also protecting our youths by#Healing those traumas#Something the cat king learns and accepts#Off topic but I don’t like people defending their age gap because#Yes; Edwin is 86#but he died with a teenage boy brain and then spent 70 of those years in hell where he certainly was not getting his brain developed while#The cat king has possibly hundreds of years of sentience and experience. The power imbalance is not if y’all. And that part of their dynami#Is actually very clear I think but some people didn’t catch it?? Or didn’t care??? Idk man
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subjectsix · 2 months ago
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A bit extra mushy about all my friends and community today.
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james-spooky · 3 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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found--family · 9 months ago
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am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen? 
#burcon#cockles#thoughts#at the start of the panel and through a few particular interactions he seemed very standoffish#he was giving a little bitter and hurt and perhaps even resentful - maybe he only learned of misha's gf#at this con too! maybe it was news to him. on top of not seeing misha for months i can understand#if he was feeling a bit neglected and out of the loop. there's also the matter of misha's gf not being#in a poly thing with jensen and dee like vicki was ie. what she has with misha is seperate so i'm sure#that's another difficult thing to deal with knowing their time together is strictly separate#i've no doubt he wants misha to have a partner and be happy but there's an adjustment period#letting new people into your life and whoever misha's partner is now or in the future is going to#affect jensen on a personal level and moreover his relationship with misha. it's all very intriguing#and while i like what little i've seen and heard about this woman for misha i just think no matter who#she is it's going to take a toll on jensen's relationship w misha. i thought it was plain to see on jensen's face#during their panel: numerous moments where he was giving a poker face that wasn't covering a laugh#but instead like he was trying to smooth out his bitterness. or so my eyes and brain and heart tell me.#just various moments where things looked uncomfortable and jensen making off-colour jokes that didn't land#and which furthermore were barbed and snarky - not in their usual banter way but like he was lashing out#and using the excuse of chaotic panel convo to explain away his comedic pitfalls. but again maybe i'm#looking to much into it? idk. there are some lovely moments! fun and caring moments - but they#mainly came from misha's direction ngl. it seemed like misha was trying hard to keep the peace#while jensen was just running his mouth on comments and jokes that kept not landing - for me#everyone on my dash is loving their dynamic this panel - and i want to feel that love! it is possible that#learning misha has a gf has skewed my perception a little like i'm putting context onto moments#i otherwise wouldn't. but i also think i would've laughed and generally felt better watching their panel#if that was the case. idk. whatever the reason i do think something was OFF between them on stage#and it was coming from jensen from the start. misha picked up on it partway though but things felt#a little strained throughout. like jensen wasn't looking at misha as much as usual or reaching out for him#misha tried to salvage and not react to things. but both their answers to the last Q were passive aggressive af#and when they left the stage together they weren't close or touching or chatting like they usually are...
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the-good-luck-anomaly · 5 months ago
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WOUND UNDER THE CUT. CW FOR WOUND
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#CW injury#fuck uhhh idk what else to tag this as#good tweet anomaly#so i stopped posting on twitter while at work and ive just been 'tweeting' in the Truck Channel of one o my friends' discord servers#GREAT ENRICHMENT HONESTLY#ANYWAy heres the saga of me 'tweeting' after getting burned by. and youll never guess. a curling iron#i havnt been around a curlin iron in foreeever so i forgot how carful u hadta be around them TToTT#i reached for somethin passed it but pressing my arm into it a bit too long#wooooopsie!!!! anyway ive been kinda lovin it#this wound has been AWESOME. stings like a MOTHER FUCKER#i love pain from wounds like this... so much more noble than the bastard chronic body pain and back pain#atleast this one knows to be hurt when pressed against. atleast THIS wound is tangible and solid and real and not FAKE and IMAGINARYY#like the foul hashimotos disease. which hides deep inside. like a motherfucker.#ITS BEEN 3 DAYS SINCE I GOT IT BUT NO ONES COMMENTED ON IT.... NO ONES EVEN SEEMED TO NOTICE IT... MY WONDERFUL WOUND...#ive had so many responses locked and loaded.. 'this is what they do to dealers that get too many black jacks ina row'#'yeah me and the homies were playing Swing Curling IRons at EAchother. the game where we swing curling irons at eachother'#'ieah it was a terrible turkey sandwich accident'#'you know how it is with spaghetti'#'i got bit by a radioactive curling iron'#LIKE CMAAAHHNN NO ONE EVEN CARES ABOUT MY AWESOME WOUND......#ANYWAY. i know the gay people in my phone will care about my amazing wonderful awwesome wound#also if u need me to tag this as smth lemme knowww i love youuu
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gothsuguru · 4 months ago
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i love muting people on twitter some of you bitches are very dumb
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#what do you MEAN gojo wasn’t traumatized by toji??? 😭#i don’t think that gege has to spoonfeed every single morsel of information for you… like if you READ the manga you’d know 😭#why is the reason gojo works so tirelessly on his infinity??? during his fight w sukuna why was he reminded of toji???#LIKE HELLO??? this is why heavily shipper brains are so useless to me#this one was goge shipper and for some reason they just completely watered down gojo’s personality/trauma like HUH#geto isn’t the only person who went through things 😭#also saying that geto was the only person who saw gojo as a person… that’s true to an extent#pre-defection geto ABSOLUTELY! gojo never was around Normal People so that’s why he acts the way he acted it’s obvious#but i’d argue post-defection geto… even for a little bit… saw gojo as a tool rather than a human#bc he even tells gojo that if suguru was gojo then his impossible ideals wouldn’t be impossible anymore simply by the virtue of being gojo#i think after people realize satoru’s strength they immediately throw away his humanity#which is something that his kids don’t really care much for… like yeah gojo sensei is strong but the 1st years don’t gaf that much 😭#i think they see him more for his personality than his Strength but they obviously know he’s the strongest#and i think they know he wants them to be strong too#satoru also said he can only save people who want to be saved#i think he’s in constant of his students for that reason too… they save each other & communicate & are allowed to be kids#i think also bc satoru finds it so important to enjoy the mundane things of life and to enjoy friendships bc that’s the only thing that +#he himself had cultivated during his years as as student too#this became a rant but . @ shippers & @ anyone stupid… stop watering down gojo#it’s my biggest pet peeve idk why but nothing pisses me off more in the jjk sphere than people watering down gojo#just bc his trauma manifested in different ways doesn’t mean that he wasn’t hurt 😭#like don’t forget about satoru gojo!!!!!! he’s a lot more emotionally perceptive/mature than people give him credit for#personal
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ruvviks · 6 months ago
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what is the event/main cause that made roksana cut her mom off?
now this is interesting to talk about because it would be a very gradual process spanning over many many years but it would all come to explode during the events of the broker, despite that fic focusing on vitali; the events of that fic affect his whole family even though it doesn't elaborate much on the effects on his siblings. i initially had several chapters dedicated to roksana but had to cut it short and put it all in one chapter only but when i go for the rewrite i'm putting all of the initial ideas back because it's IMPORTANT. she and vitali are so similar in so many ways but also not at the same time. anyway ok yes here we go
so for roksana specifically she's kind of been a background character in the family ever since she was young. you'd think that after two other kids her parents would know how to parent her correctly but instead they just kind of let her do her thing and she got away with everything, which was nice in a way because it gave her freedom within the house itself but outside of that there was just nothing there for her. with the whole world to her disposal but nobody there with her to help her or keep her company through it all life just got suffocating to her in a way :(
she felt trapped in her family and her brothers always got the spotlight (mostly negative attention, since mainly their mother nadya was always just angry at vitali and after vitali left home daniil just kind of became her new therapist; but roksana did not really pay attention to this, all she saw was her brothers getting attention and not her), so roksana ended up fitting herself into all the boxes her parents wanted her to be in just to get some attention from them and get the love that she deserved. she was the family's poster child, but at the same time this whole role was an act of her, acting the way people expected her to act to get some respect and it was actively chipping away at her psyche, it stopped her from actually growing up and becoming her own person if that makes sense?? her personality was just fabricated specifically for her parents. but that's not who she was or wanted to be. but she knew nothing else
roksana and her father matvey have always had a very professional relationship. he was always busy with work and didn't do a lot of parenting so roksana came to see him more as a guy who lived under the same roof as her rather than her father; in the broker this escalates with matvey seeking revenge against vitali and roksana getting dragged into it and becoming a messenger girl in it all, but by then she's entirely neutral towards her father so there's not even bad blood between them when she stops talking to him; he's just a stranger to her. this is what much later allows her to hesitantly come back after vitali and matvey have made amends to try and build up that relationship again
roksana and her mother nadya however are a different story. the main difference is that roksana always hoped that nadya would understand; that she would understand the position roksana was in and understand her anger and her misery and her sorrows and regrets and that she would try to make it easier for her, give her some relief from the burdens she had to carry. but nadya refused to listen to roksana and refused to take her seriously (much like how she had always treated vitali; important to note that vitali is a trans man and to nadya he was still "her daughter"), not allowing her to show any sort of weakness because she herself had by then long killed her own weaknesses within herself and she expected roksana to do the same
and nadya got what she wanted. roksana grew up a cold and bitter woman, she let her anger win (contrasting vitali who after all this time STILL chooses kindness; if the roles for him and roksana had been reversed, though, he would have turned out the same as her, but the contrast and parallels between vitali and roksana is a story for another time) and she knows it's nadya's fault and she HATES her mother for it. she hates what nadya turned her into and she hates that she never got a normal childhood and she wants nothing more than to get out of there. this is why she vanishes from night city after her appearance in the broker fic, and why initially it is entirely unclear if she'll ever come back
so basically to summarize, nadya robbed roksana of her childhood and her softness and her ability to become her own person by forcing her to be the poster child of the family, and in classic dobrynin family fashion roksana tends to take grudges to her grave, so i don't really see her forgiving her mother for it any time soon. add to that the fact she sees nadya as the cause the entire family started crumbling apart in the first place (whether or not this is true is at this point very hard to tell because like, how far can you trace something like this back and who can be held responsible for what etc etc, but especially taking into consideration she never respected vitali's identity which is what drove him away from home, then did not allow him to reconnect which is what got him into arasaka, and THEN pushed matvey to get revenge after vitali indirectly got them fired at said corporation, and all of THAT is what drove daniil away from home and what caused roksana to change so drastically i'd say it's safe to say she is one of the bigger players in it all LMAO) AND doesn't feel comfortable around her anymore after her affair with ravager (nadya did that while still being married to matvey; they're divorced now), and there you go. mother privileges have been revoked
that being said, roksana does wish things were different. she stuck around for much longer than her brothers did almost in an attempt to fix things?? which again parallels vitali with how he also ends up trying to fix things in the broker fic but basically both of them fail and that's why roksana ends up leaving, she doesn't see the point in staying anymore because there's nothing there for her anymore :(
she does eventually come back to reconnect with vitali (most of their past beef was caused by twisted perspectives of the other's life at home as a child + daniil's rancid behavior bringing out the worst in both of them) and matvey (what i said earlier about them being strangers; no bad blood so an attempt can be made), but nadya has been cut off entirely and so has daniil for roksana because of how similar he is in his behavior to their mother, i talked a bit more about that here
this got very long i am so sorry i am positively insane about this family and all the dynamics. basically the tl;dr is that nadya gets worst mother of the year award forever and always
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glindyupland · 8 months ago
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I just think it’s silly that so many people complain about Villain Amaya as “wasted potential” and that “we were robbed” like-
My pals, post canon fan fiction is right there. The desire to free her husband is right there. Either by touching an evil book while being too eager to remember the obsidian oil, or being possessed by contact (ie what she believes is true loves kiss) when trying to reason with him in the dungeon.
We don’t need a rewrite, we can have a continuation. Both can be true. Amaya is a complex character, she can handle it.
#Wish#Queen Amaya#I assume I'm going to get hate for this but like#I know it's not store bought and you have to still make it yourself but also#I'm kind of just tired of seeing a lot of people sh*tting on Wish because it's not the concept art#And I'm kind of over here like how about we love it recognize it has flaws and THEN try to make something new without bashing the OG?#I just love Amaya and she definitely deserves more#but her good character is so interesting and complex#she still knows how to have fun. She still can be sassy or bite.#Like she's still Magnifico's perfect partner you know? and Magnifico isn't perfect?#A truly pure person wouldn't click with Magnifico the way Amaya does...?#I would rather build on Amaya's character than say she can only be good and boring or a villain?#Amaya is so smart yall. I know you can't see it all just on the movie but like she's read every magic book in Magnifico's library#THOUSANDS OF BOOKS.#And knows basic protection spells#She's a devoted leader.#Like.#Idk#She both loves her husband and recognizes that she has to go against him.#She doesn't /turn/ on him. She addresses his flaws and tells him that it's not okay?#She still jokes with him even though she has to put him in time out. She's complex and strong and wise and kind.#And I just hate seeing so many people so quick to just say 'the concept art was better' when like... the idea might be more appealing to yo#But I hate the level of cynicism and pretentiousness I see of people saying their personal ideas of what Wish should be-#-Is better than the piece of media they claim to care about?#Like their personal vision of Wish based exclusively off the concept art is somehow intellectually superior?#And I'm not saying stop doing your rewrites or AU's or anything! Like there's definitely beautiful creativity happening!#I just hate seeing people so negative and like honestly mean. It hurts my heart to see everyone calling Wish garbage?#It's not great but I really really dont think it's as bad as everyone is saying. Like its no like Oppenheimer but it's a children's movie..#Like I personally love the Teens and Amaya#And everyone saying they stink makes me sad... Because they're just great characters?
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princessmyriad · 5 days ago
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#personal#thinking about how the phrase treat others how you want to be treated is actually incredibly one way#unless damn near every person ive ever met wants to be treated like shit which i cant imagine is true#like idk i spent a lot of my time giving my energy to people. and ill never feel bad for putting love and kindness out into the world#but i gave some of these people everything i had. or not everything that would diminish me but everything i could spare for them at the time#i treated them attentively and considerately and tenderly and lovingly#and that kindness has not been extended back to me by most of these people#some of them have surely in their own 'love language' and im grateful for these people in my life#but most of the people ive treated with intentional care have actively and on purpose caused me a lot of emotional harm#which again. im working through and like karma will get them without me needing to be there or whatever while i do my own healing#but regardless i still think some of that shit should not have happened like it did#i dont understand how everyone can say to me treat others how youd like to be treated but not tell me the caveat#that they will not treat me the way i want to be treated even if i put in that effort for them/for our friendship or relationship or whatevr#like idk im a bitch for asking you to leave me alone when ive been vomiting for two days straight but you can straightup sexually misconduct#with my body and then when i write poetry about it and share my feelings instead of leaving and taking that information anywhere helpful#you get to decode youre traumatized actually and im still a bitch for bringing it up?#make it make sense#'treat others the way you want to be treated' so youd like it if i starved you and verbally insulted and gaslight and manipulated you? no?#then what the fuck is the point of you saying that to me???#idk im just fucking pissed rn that. idk what im pissed at. cause again i know im no contact with all of these people now and their#shitty justice will find its way to them. and i cant be mad at myself for saddling with the wrong people cause some of that was my choices#and some of it was blood i couldnt escape for a long time. and i said i dont want to regret or resent#putting love out to the world#but i am still angry that so much of me was given to the wrong people. that these people just chose to completely ignore#the level of respect and patience and kindness i showed them#idk dudes im just angry. 'treat others the way you want to be treated' fuck off thats some quiet manipulation bullshit to get me to be#nicer to you even as you abuse the self-worth outta me fuck off fuck you#i found it again. you cant bury it im too full of love to not love myself too but it hurts how hard they tried for so long#'treat others the way you want to be treated' how bout no. how bout i treat everyone with a base level of kindness#and when youve shown me that you will treat me the way i deserve to be treated then ill fucking play niceys back
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