#but it has pete in it

[qlventingspace]

Buckle up darlings, because I'm gonna expose you to my weird ramblings and sorta self-exploratory shit regarding asexuality and kink.

(this is your cue to leave if you don't wanna hear that)

After a chat with my dear friend I realized that it baffles me (in a good way, like wow this is so interesting!) how many differences there are in acespec people. How many factors are influencing our view on sexuality and how many details are often needed to explain our sexuality and our unique take on relationship with sexual stuff and relationship stuff.

You could generalize and say, asexuality is lack of sexual attraction. And it sorta is...but then... it also isn't, not always.

It's little to zero sexual attraction or it is 100% sexual attraction with the right emotional investment for a particular person or it is anywhere from 1% to 100% just under very specific circumstances or it's very randomly and unexpectedly sexual attraction or it's attraction only to fictional people and not real people or it's attraction to person as long as they don't reciprocate or...

I'm not even sure how many more different and unique details there can be that are all very different and specific but at the end of the day it just all boils down to asexuality.

I think most aces either knowingly or unknowingly doubt their aceness.

And if you throw in some confusing stuff which is not usually stated as the "universal asexual experience" then you come out of it even more confused.

Am I ace if...?

Okay, so we handled sexual attraction. How about some views on sex?

The usual: sex-positive, sex-negative, sex-indifferent, sex-favorable, ... Describing your view on sex in general, your view on others having sex, or how you yourself feel about participating.

Not confused enough yet?

Throw in some libido, then.

Masturbate just because your body needs an outlet? To relieve stress? Just cause you're curious? Or do you also enjoy it? Seek it out? You like to look at some nsfw pictures? Like to get horny? Imaginary situation to get you off is fine but not real life? And what about your special someone, real life is not okay unless it's about them?

You still with me? Still not confused enough?

Alright then, throw in Kink.

How is it that you have kink while being ace? How can you be ace if you enjoy certain kinks? *horrified gasp* Kinks while masturbating?! *clutches pearls* Are you still ace? Are you not just pretending or scared of relationships? (imagine annoying inner voice)

And now to me.

It surprised me how many people who are engrossed in VegasPete and absolutely adore and love and identify with kinky king Pete are asexuals.

I'm not saying all of you are kinky and it's none of my business. Fiction is fiction and we often love characters we do not identify one bit with.

But...

For me, Pete was kinda revelation. Distant memory. And longing.

And oh boy it had led me into another fit of re-discovering myself and re-discovering or perhaps also reshaping my view of my own asexuality.

Often people see aces as innocent, naive and awkward regarding sex and sexual situations.

So to see people headcanoning Pete (kinky and incredibly not innocent Pete!) as demi might not make sense to many people. It does to me.

I am not immune to the deep-rooted view I adopted through my more than 20 years of living "heavy kissing inherently leads to sex" and "engaging in kink is also inseparable from sex"-

I still struggle with the thought that kink doesn't need to be linked to sex. I am baffled by the thought that people do kink with other people. Or in front of other people. My mind just don't wanna grasp that.

But at the same time I understand that some things feel good on their own. And some things feel good with the added bonus of slightly different kinds of pleasure.

There is also a very clear distinction for me when I think about doing this things alone vs. doing them with imaginary someone in imaginary situation vs. doing them with someone in real life.

Bit lacking still good, good plus longing and get this away from me.

Many experiences like this seem to be in stark contrast from the experiences of the ace majority (or at least most talked about experiences that seem to be complete nah or mostly indifference towards sex, masturbation and kink). It has lead me to questioning if I am actually ace, when I have this weird relationship with sexual stuff and yet...somehow, I never felt anything but asexual.

M' point is, I don't think I had a point.

BUT I wanna spread different ace experiences and if this helps at least one ace to find themselves or to stop doubting themselves than it is worth it.

Unless tumblr decides again that my posts are not worth sharing in the assigned tags in searches, lol.

[thelesbiandeli]

Guess who went to the funfair yesterdayyyyyyyy

[angsty-art-ist]

and they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those meddling adults!

[keysmashing-bees]

Hot chocolate boy amirite?

[cirr0stratus]

[detox-two-retox]

"im a top" "im a bottom" okay well im a stitch away from making it???? and a scar away from falling apart????????

[b100k]

[ohnoitsjetster]

[asoftepiloguemylove]

YOU'RE IN MY VEINS, YOU FUCK

Henry Miller from a letter to Brenda Venus Dear, Dear Brenda: The Love Letters of Henry Miller to Brenda Venus // boygenius We're In Love // Francisco de Zurbarán Agnus Dei // Katie Maria I used to be a hole in the ground (via @heavensghost) // Rafael Nicolás Angels Before Man // Céline Sciamma Portrait de la jeune fille en feu // Kate Moss in a text message to Pete Doherty // Sophocles Antigone // Joan Didion South and West // Richard Siken Editors Pages: The Long and Short of It // Japanese Breakfast Boyish // VIVINOS Alien Stage; "ROUND 6" // Li-Young Lee I Loved You Before I Was Born // Hannibal; "Secondo" dir. Vincenzo Natali // Hozier Francesca

[yourlocalabomination]

*fingers aggressively gripping my thighs* Yea I think about that one sleazeball a normal amount.

[tereladea]

i have not stopped thinking about them

[boar-of-the-ball]

[pbnmj]

noir fanartists deliberately ignoring how he doesn't need glasses anymore is so funny to me. i hope we all think he's blind as a bat

[sdrose93]

Top Gun 1986 and Top Gun: Maverick 2022 ❤❤

OMG 😭❤

[martianbugsbunny]

Me when Loki is alone and Mobius is heartbroken but Loki served the most cunt he could possibly have served in the process

[gentlebeard]

okay confession time: when lucius got on one knee to propose, i first thought he was gonna give pete a blowjob 💀