#but it feels like every time i see a post that just leaves me with a sour taste in my mouth

[c0ffeejelly1]

Manhandling him

Multiple character headcannon

Authors note: UGH pls this whole things was for jokes bc I can’t really be that ask to make something I feel is good. Teehee. Also I can mischaracterise all I want okay let a girl dream pls. (POST-TIMESKIP!!)

Warning: man it’s like the smallest hint of the nasty freaky stuff

“Babe, you got something on your face. Let me just…” You reach out to your boyfriend, making him look your way by gripping his chin firmly while you flick away a bit of ‘glitter’ from his cheek. “There you go.”

Strike one.

That was just the beginning of your strange behavior today.

“Hey baby, c’mere I wanna kiss…” you call him over from the other side of the kitchen counter, only to yank on his collar and pull him in for one hell of a snog. “Seriously, you have no business looking this good today.”

Strike two.

Just what was up with you today?

You just got home from work, and as he’s about to sit up to see you, you suddenly push him back down onto the couch, mumbling something about how much you “missed him”.

Strike three.

You run your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to your lips, but then you pause to check out his face.

Perhaps you took this prank too far…

The type to be oddly into it

“…are you hard?”

This snaps your boyfriend out of his thoughts.

He’d never ever ever thought he could find himself in a situation like this. this is the kind of stuff you see in movies, right? I mean, come on!

Just picture how mortifying it is to be turned on from someone mistreating you! It’s pathetic!

He can’t just blurt out, ‘oh hell yeah I’m hard’ in response to that question—why would anyone even think to ask that? What can a guy do in a moment like this except deny it?

“What? N-no!…” He glances away, feeling the weight of your intense gaze. “…maybe?”

When you raise an eyebrow at him, his mask crumbles entirely. There’s no use in pretending.

You’ve already seen right through him, leaving him no option but to retreat into a shadowy corner and disappear.

“Yeah.” He responds, his voice tinged with disappointment. “I…I am.”

Maybe it’s because of the way you handled him like he was nothing that made him so bothered.

Maybe it was the way you looked so desperate to have him that did it for him.

Either way, he’s discovered something about himself he never knew he ever had.

And make no mistake, you were going to exploit this discovery to the fullest.

“Have I told you how much I love you babe?” You pull back from his face after practically devouring it as he stands there, grinning like a lovesick fool, dishes still in hand.

“I think you should tell me more.”

“Wrap up with those dishes, and I’ll give you a demonstration instead.”

Be ready for one hell of a night cowgirl. Wink wink

Charcters: serizawa, armin, EREN, REINER, ukai, ATSUMU, Osamu, Gojo, CHOSO, leviathan, SATAN, DIAVOLO, IIDA, denki, tamaki, CHILDE, Cyno, sanji, LAW

The type to think you’ve finally gone crazy

you call out to him, noticing he seems lost in his phone. Yet, oddly enough, he flinches slightly every time you speak.

This reaction occurs whenever you draw near him, as if your voice startles him, even when you're just a breath away. It’s not that he dislikes your voice; rather, it feels like he’s a bit intimidated by you now.

What happened to the confident guy who was with you just two days ago? Why does he seem to be tiptoeing around you like a child with a fragile toy?

“Y/N…is everything alright?” He approaches you cautiously, maintaining a bit of distance, trying to balance his interest with a hint of hesitation. “You’ve been…um, I just wanted to check—are you upset with me?”

“Upset with you?” You set your phone aside, raising an eyebrow at him. “Why would I be upset? Did you do something wrong?”

That’s the very question he’s grappling with. Your passionate touches and fervent kisses have left him bewildered about your feelings.

Are you so enamored that you can’t help yourself, or are you retaliating for something he might have done? Suddenly, a thought strikes him.

“…If this is about how intense things got last night, I’m sorry, but you did ask for it when I warned you I wouldn’t hold back—” His words are cut short as your hand swiftly covers his mouth.

“No! No that’s—just no. It was a prank babe, a trend I saw online” you say, removing your hand and placing both on his shoulders. “Last night has nothing to do with today or any other day.”

“Not even you complaining about being sore?”

“Not even me complaining about…wait I never did that!”

“Yeah buts it’s easy to tell.”

Charcters: REIGEN, giyuu, giyomei, JEAN, KAGEYAMA, hinata, kuroo, OIKAWA, AKAASHI, geto, NANAMI, Solomon, IZUKU, Diluc, LAIOS, zayne, LAW (Sowy I can see him as both)

The type to also manhandle you

Did you honestly believe you could manhandle him without facing the same treatment in return? Come on this is your boyfriend we’re talking about, In fact, I think he’s thrilled that you can boss him around so effortlessly.

So thrilled that he makes it into a competition

“Okay let’s see who tackles the first person on the bed.” His eyes shine with enthusiasm as he confidently places his hands on his hips. “If I win I get to have my way with you, and if you win, you get to have me have my way with you. Deal?”

You pause for a moment to process his words “…uh, how is that fair?”

“What do you mean?” he replies, brushing off your concern with a grin.

“I think it’s perfectly fair. No matter the outcome, you get a nice little reward, right?” His voice dances with mischief as he nudges you playfully with his elbow, clearly trying to elicit a reaction.

You roll your eyes at him, feigning annoyance, before relenting, “I guess it’s not so bad..”

“Exactly! Now, I’m going to count down. Ready? 3…2…” Before you can fully grasp what’s happening, he lunges at you, tackling you onto the bed before he even reaches 1.

“H-hey! That’s cheating, you can’t do that!” But your protests are ignored, your boyfriend already having you wrapped in his warm embrace, his face buried against your neck.

“This is what you get for how you’ve been treating me today.”

“What are you talking about?” You pause for a moment, though you suspect he’s finally caught on to your little scheme. “You mean me kissing you like any normal woman would with the love of her life?”

“No. Just you touching me all weirdly…”

“Don’t say it like that you make me sound like a perv.”

“Maybe cause you are.”

“I’m not.”

“You are.”

“…”

“…”

“I’m not.”

Charcters: RENGOKU, tengen, connie, NISHINOYA, hinata (yes again), kuroo (YESSS AGAIN), BOKUTO, TENDOU, MAMMON, DENKI (twice and what), kirishima, ITTO, rafayel, LUFFY

The type…yeah you ain’t doing that

Screw everything I just said in the intro. If you genuinely think you can manhandle this man and succeed. You’re crazy.

“Hey, come here, you’ve got something—” The moment your hand nears his face, he seizes your wrist, staring at you as if you’ve just committed a serious offense.

“What are you doing?”

“Uh…I’m trying to like get the little speck of glitter off your face.”

“We don’t own glitter?”

“Dust then?” He shoots you a skeptical glance.

“…sure.”

So that was an absolute fail…

But you’re not ready to throw in the towel just yet. No way! You just need to bide your time until nightfall, when he’s all soft and cuddly. That’s when you’ll make your move.

As the evening unfolds and you’re prepping for bed in the bathroom, you catch sight of him reaching for something in the cupboard above you. This is your moment. The time to pull him in close and—

SMACK

“The hell? What was that for?” He rubs his forehead, clearly taken aback by your sudden move.

Who knew kissing your boyfriend could be this complicated? Somehow, you ended up colliding headfirst into him, and now he’s clearly fed up with you.

“That wasn’t how it was supposed to go…” you say with a shy smile, nervously scratching the back of your head. “You alright?”

You gently move his hand away from his forehead to check for any damage, and to your surprise, he lets you.

Wait a minute… you actually moved his hand, and he’s okay with it? Is this manhandling? I think it’s manhandling. It’s manhandling.

“…I did it.”

“Did what?”

“I touched you!”

“??”

Pls stop confusing this man he’s already tired enough.

Charcters: dimple, akashi, MIDORIMA, aomine, sanemi, KAGEYAMA (yes again), TSUKISHIMA, iwaizumi, TOJI, LUCIFER, bakugou, AIZAWA, sylus, ZORO,

[bytemee]

crying on stream (not clickbait) — yu jimin.

synopsis. you really need to stop playing random horrors at 2 am.

pairing. karina x gn!streamer!reader

warning(s). reader cries at a horror game, emotional support gf karina, this is so silly and sweet, let me know if there's more

words. 639

authors note. 1/2 drafts im posting tn before all the freaky stuff and angst floods my page. this is also based off this tiktok i saw

masterlist. navigation.

you had no idea why you thought playing a horror game at 2 a.m. was a good idea—especially with karina asleep in the next room. but here you were, curled up in your chair, gripping your keyboard like your life depended on it. your chat was loving every second, spamming laughing emojis and "you're so cooked" messages.

then, it happened.

the door behind your character slammed shut. the screen flickered. a deep, guttural noise rumbled through your headphones.

you froze. your breath caught in your throat, hands hovering over the controls, but you could not bring yourself to move.

"no, no, no, no, no..." you whispered, barely making a sound.

username LMAOOO YOU'RE SO DONE username WHY AREN'T YOU MOVING HELLO?? username NAH THIS IS BAD 😂

your fingers twitched over the keys, but before you could even think about getting out—

the screen went completely black.

your headphones crackled. a distorted whisper slithered through the speakers, low and scratchy, like something breathing right into your ear. then, for half a second, the lights in the game flickered back on—

the killer was right behind you.

you slammed the pause button.

your whole body locked up, muscles so tight it felt like you might pass out. chat was going insane, but their messages barely registered.

you couldn't scream. not with karina asleep. you couldn't even let out a proper gasp.

instead, a quiet sob slipped out before you could stop it.

you pressed a hand over your mouth, shoulders shaking as you tried to breathe. tears welled up, but you blinked fast, trying to keep yourself together.

username ARE YOU CRYING BRO?? username NAH THIS GAME REALLY BROKE THEM username this is so sad but funny at the same time 😭😭😭

after a few deep breaths, you forced yourself to unpause.

you needed to get out.

with shaky hands, you turned the lights back on, unlocked the door, and ran. the second you stepped out of that room, you ripped your hands off the keyboard, dropping them into your lap as a deep exhale left you. a few stray tears slipped down your face, and you wiped them away, sniffling.

"oh my god," you muttered, still feeling the adrenaline in your veins.

then—

a tap on your shoulder.

you screamed.

the fear you'd been barely holding in came crashing down all at once. you flinched so hard your chair almost tipped over, another choked sob slipping out as you panicked.

your chat lost their minds.

username HELPPPP username THAT WAS NOT THE GAME?? username DID Y'ALL SEE THEIR SOUL LEAVE THEIR BODY username I THINK THEY JUST DIED IRL

then came the worst part—a soft, familiar laugh.

your head snapped to the side, eyes wide as you saw karina standing there, looking impossibly amused despite being fresh out of sleep. dress in your an oversized hoodie, her hair a little messy, she smiled at you before shaking her head.

"you're so dramatic," she whispered, barely containing her giggles.

you didn't even have the energy to argue. Without thinking, you reached for her, pulling her into a hug off-camera. she easily melted into you, wrapping her arms around your shoulders and resting her chin on your head.

username WHO IS THAT???? 😳

username WE CAN SEE THE SHADOW WTF username THE WAY THEY JUST WENT SILENT TO HUG THE AIR LIKE BFFR

karina ran her hand up and down your back, pressing a soft kiss to your temple before whispering, "you okay?"

you nodded against her shoulder. "i hate this game."

she snorted. "then stop playing horror games at night, hm?"

you sniffled. "never."

she sighed, but she didn't let go. for a while, you just stayed there—holding onto her, ignoring chat's growing curiosity, letting your heartbeat finally slow down. eventually, she whispered, "wanna sleep now?"

you exhaled. "yeah."

with a final squeeze, she pulled back and grabbed your hand, and you turned back to your stream, rubbing your eyes before clearing your throat.

"alright, chat," you muttered, voice still wobbly. "i'm ending stream. i need therapy."

the last thing chat saw before you disconnected was your teary eyes, ruffled hair, and hand out of frame, fingers curled like you were holding onto something—someone.

then, you were gone.

[angelseraphines]

ೃ⁀➷ dark but just a game ˗ˏˋ꒰ 🦢 ꒱

╰┈➤ guard!cho sang-woo x player!reader imagine

a/n: i would like to give a special thank you to @lumillsie for the layout of this post and for the filter used on the header!

˚ ༘♡ you had never intended to find yourself entangled in a brutal series of death games, but with debt mounting to over fifty million won and loan sharks breathing down your neck, you had no choice. every option you had once clung to had crumbled beneath you, leaving you hollowed out and desperate. the loans you’d taken weren’t unreasonable, not in your mind, they had been necessary to pay for medical expenses for your family living outside of south korea. your own job instability, a relentless and bitter cycle, had only worsened the situation. bankruptcy wasn’t an option. not anymore. so when the mysterious offer to join the squid game appeared, luring you in with the promise of a fortune beyond imagination, you made a choice, and now you were paying the price for it.

˚ ༘♡ despite the aftermath of the horrifying massacre that was the first game, the sickening realization that the smiling, painted doll mask and vast game arena disguised an execution ground, you had returned. others might’ve run, and you had been tempted. but what waited for you back outside was worse in its own way, hunger, homelessness, death at the hands of men who didn’t wear pink jumpsuits but carried just as much coldness in their eyes. at least here, you had a slim chance at survival. slim was better than none.

˚ ༘♡ the choice to return wasn’t as straightforward as you pretended. you had barely slept the night after red light, green light. your hands still trembled at the memory of gunshots ringing out akin to firecrackers, and every time you closed your eyes, you saw bodies falling, twisted on the cracked concrete. you’d thrown up twice in the morning after staggering back to your apartment. your reflection in the bathroom mirror had been ghostly, pale, clammy, with a thin sheen of sweat clinging to your skin. you weren’t ready to die, but you weren’t sure if you could endure staying, either.

˚ ༘♡ somewhere, in the midst of that daze, you had done something foolish. you had pulled out your phone, hands shaking, and opened the contact you swore you’d deleted months ago, your ex-boyfriend, cho sang-woo.

˚ ༘♡ you hadn’t spoken to him in almost a year, not since he left you. still, your fingers hovered over the screen, your chest tight, as if the past could crawl back out of the ashes and offer you some small sense of solace. it hadn’t. he hadn’t answered, hadn’t even seen your message. just like all the others.

˚ ༘♡ now, standing on your balcony with the humid night air pressing down on you, you scrolled through the string of unanswered texts, each one a painful remnant of how pathetic you’d felt in those first few months.

˚ ༘♡ a text from three months ago, “please call me. i just want to talk.”

˚ ༘♡ another text from two months ago, “did i do something wrong? why won’t you answer me?”

˚ ༘♡ the most recent text you sent one month ago, “sang-woo, please.“

˚ ༘♡ the messages had only gotten shorter as the silence stretched. eventually, you stopped texting altogether, though you hadn’t deleted the thread. not yet.

˚ ༘♡ you tipped the bottle of beer to your lips and let the stale, bitter taste burn its way down your throat. the linen pajamas you wore, loose and slightly frayed at the hems, felt too light in the breeze. you had bought them during one of your better months, before everything collapsed. ivory-white. it felt ironic now, standing there in something that once made you feel clean and new, as if you hadn’t spent the past six months clawing at the edge of a financial abyss.

˚ ༘♡ he hadn’t even broken up with you properly. just a voice message, sent in the early hours of the morning, after what you thought had been a perfectly normal week together.

˚ ༘♡ “it’s over. i’m seeing someone else.” that was all he said. no explanation. no apology. it was the last time you’d heard his voice.

˚ ༘♡ you clenched the beer bottle in your hand, your jaw tightening as the memory resurfaced. maybe it shouldn’t have mattered anymore. maybe it didn’t, not really. you had bigger problems than a broken heart.

˚ ༘♡ that night, when you had tried to call him after the game, it wasn’t solely love that had driven you, it was fear. bone-deep, marrow-crushing fear that curled into your stomach and refused to leave. you had been entrenched in loneliness, suffocated by the silence of your empty apartment, unable to shake the memory of bodies dropping all around you. the crack of gunfire still rang in your ears like a phantom sound. you had seen the raw, naked terror on the faces of people who, just moments before, had been laughing and chatting like ordinary men and women trying to make ends meet. you had run for your life, muscles screaming, breath ragged in your throat. yet here you were, alive, if that word even meant anything anymore.

˚ ༘♡ you had wanted to hear a familiar voice, something that grounded you. and in your desperation, you had reached for him. you should have known better.

˚ ༘♡ your hands twitched, numb and shaky as you stared at the endless void of unanswered messages, your name likely long since blocked or ignored. the strain of everything pressed into your chest, and before you could stop yourself, your grip on the beer bottle loosened. the glass slipped from your fingers, tumbling to the ground. it shattered against the concrete floor of your balcony, sharp fragments scattering around your bare feet. jagged edges slashed at your ankles, but you hardly noticed. warm blood trickled in thin, crimson ribbons down your skin, but it felt distant, like it was happening to someone else. all you could think about was him. you missed him so ardently.

˚ ༘♡ despite everything, despite the way he had discarded you so easily, like a brief financial setback in his long list of losses, you still longed for him. you hated yourself for it. it made no sense. he had left you. he hadn’t cared, not when you called, not when you cried, not when you begged him for an explanation. and yet, in the deep recesses of your mind, you remembered the way he had once held you, his fingers threading through your hair as you dozed off in his lap while a movie played in the background. you remembered how he would press a warm palm to your cheek when you were upset, his thumb smoothing over your skin in quiet reassurance. he had been gentle then, loving in the smallest ways.

˚ ༘♡ you had convinced yourself, naively, foolishly, that he had loved you as much as you loved him. yet it had all been a sham.

˚ ༘♡ your friends had been right. they had warned you, time and time again, but you hadn’t listened. you had defended him, telling them he wasn’t like other men, that he wasn’t just another sleazy businessman hopping from woman to woman for a night’s pleasure. he was different. he was yours. except he wasn’t. not anymore. maybe he never had been.

˚ ༘♡ you forced yourself to move, blinking back the sting in your eyes as you took a step forward, only for a sharp, burning pain to shoot through your foot. you hissed, looking down to find a shard of glass embedded in the arch of your foot, fresh blood dripping onto the tile. before you could clean it up, the doorbell rang.

˚ ༘♡ for a minute, you stood frozen, your pulse spiking. no one visited you. no one ever did. who the hell would be here at this hour?

˚ ༘♡ you limped to the door, ignoring the sting in your foot as you pulled it open, only to be greeted by an empty hallway. your breath caught, eyes darting left and right. no one. not even the sound of retreating footsteps. but there, lying on the ground, was a small, rectangular card.

˚ ༘♡ your chest tightened as you reached down, fingers trembling slightly as they closed around the thin cardstock. you didn’t need to flip it over to know what it was. you had seen this exact card before, pressed between the fingers of a well-dressed salesman who had lured you into this nightmare with a simple game of ddakji.

˚ ༘♡ it was an invitation. an invitation to return. you knew what it meant. you had seen the consequences with your own eyes. returning would put your life in grave danger. it was more than just a game, it was a death sentence for all but one. but what choice did you have?

˚ ༘♡ there was nothing for you out here. the loan sharks would find you eventually. if not them, then starvation, or illness, or some other cruel twist of fate waiting just around the corner. at least in the game, you had a sliver of control over your life. a chance at a different life.

˚ ༘♡ your fingers tightened around the card. you called the number on the back. the voice on the other end was eerily calm. the instructions were the same. “meet at the designated location. don’t be late.”

˚ ༘♡ that night, the same sleek black limousine pulled up to the curb outside your apartment. the tinted windows gave away nothing, its surface reflecting the dim glow of the streetlights. you hesitated only for a second before stepping inside. the door shut behind you with a soft click. before you could process anything, before you could even think to resist, the faint hiss of gas filled the cabin. your eyelids grew heavy, your vision blurred at the edges, the world tilting sideways. your body slumped against the seat, consciousness slipping through your fingers.

˚ ༘♡ when you awoke, you were back in the dormitory. the harsh, sterile lights buzzed overhead. the cold metal bunk beds stretched on endlessly in neat rows. the air smelled faintly of sweat, anxiety, and something metallic beneath it all. you sat up, the familiar weight of the forest-green uniform settling around your shoulders. player 017. that was the number stitched into the fabric over your chest. as you looked around, bleary and disoriented, you saw the same faces as before. most of the players had returned, just like you. you swallowed, rubbing your eyes before exhaling shakily. you had made your choice. there was no turning back now.

˚ ༘♡ dinner that night consisted of a bento box filled with plain white rice, a folded egg omelet, and pickled vegetables. the portions were small, meager, as if designed to keep you just on the edge of starvation without tipping over. the smell of vinegar from the pickled radish stung your nose, mingling with the faint metallic scent of blood still clinging to your memories from the day before. but you had no appetite.

˚ ༘♡ around you, other players dug into their meals with fervor, shoveling food into their mouths like they hadn’t seen a proper meal in weeks. some ate in silence, their eyes darting around as if expecting someone to snatch their rations away. others whispered among themselves, cautious yet eager, already beginning the inevitable process of forming alliances. you made no move to approach anyone, instead sitting on the edge of your cot, your arms draped over your knees, watching them in silence. you knew how this worked. alliances were necessary, but they were fragile things, born out of convenience rather than loyalty. at some point, when push came to shove, they would fall apart.

˚ ༘♡ “excuse me, miss.”

˚ ༘♡ the voice was unfamiliar yet kind, breaking through your detached observation. you glanced up and found yourself looking at a middle-aged man standing before you, his expression open and friendly. the number 456 was sewn onto his uniform.

˚ ༘♡ “if you’d like to, you can join our team,” he offered, his smile pleasant despite the lines of exhaustion on his face. “we’ll work together and protect one another in the next games. it’s better to have people to rely on.”

˚ ༘♡ behind him stood two other players. one was a man of south asian descent, curly-haired with a gentle face, player 199. the other was frail and elderly, with thin white hair and a slightly dazed look, player 001. the sight of them together was oddly endearing, as if they were an unlikely little family.

˚ ༘♡ “i remember you from the first game,” 456 continued. “you were really agile and quick! you didn’t hesitate at all.”

˚ ༘♡ his words caught you off guard. you hadn’t thought anyone had been paying attention to you specifically, not with the sheer carnage unfolding all around. you tilted your head slightly, considering the offer. alliances were fickle things, but so was survival.

˚ ༘♡ “if you don’t mind having a woman on your team,” you said, your voice neutral.

˚ ༘♡ “of course not!” player 456 responded immediately, his grin widening. his enthusiasm was almost infectious.

˚ ༘♡ you exhaled quietly and gave a small nod. “all right, then.”

˚ ༘♡ he beamed, and behind him, player 199 gave you a friendly nod, while the old man chuckled softly to himself as if he found something amusing. you weren’t sure what to make of them yet, but for now, they were better than nothing.

˚ ༘♡ that night, despite having people to watch your back, you struggled to sleep. the dormitory was eerily quiet, yet the tension in the air was suffocating. the rhythmic breathing of the other players did little to ease your unease. above you, a gleaming light flickered every so often, casting brief, disorienting shadows across the ceiling. you stared at it blankly, thoughts tumbling through your mind akin to loose stones down a cliff.

˚ ༘♡ cho sang-woo. your fingernails dug into the skin of your palms, your heart aching at the thought of him. had he so much as read your pathetic text messages? did he know that you had disappeared from your home in the midst of night? was he out there, living his life as if nothing had changed, as if you had never existed? it was foolish to think about him. pointless. yet, despite your exhaustion, sleep refused to come.

˚ ༘♡ morning arrived with the dull clang of metal gates and the sound of approaching footsteps. breakfast was as simple as the dinner before it, nothing more than a bottle of milk and a single piece of bread.

˚ ༘♡ you had eaten nothing the previous night, your stomach empty, gnawing at itself in protest. forcing yourself up, you dragged your weary limbs toward the serving station. most players had already collected their rations, eager to eat before whatever horrors the next game had in store for them. you were the last one in line, and as you approached the station, you noticed something unusual.

˚ ༘♡ only one guard was left behind. he stood behind the makeshift counter, taller and broader than the others. the standard pink jumpsuit concealed most of his features, but there was something about the way he held himself, rigid, disciplined. you took a step forward, reaching for the meal, and as he handed you the bottle of milk and bread, something caught your attention.

˚ ༘♡ the scent of tobacco. it was faint, barely perceptible beneath the sterile, controlled air of the dormitory, but it was there. familiar. clinging to the fabric of his uniform, lingering in the space between you.

˚ ༘♡ for a short while, the world around you faded. your mind snapped back to another time, another place. late nights curled up on the couch, the bright gleam of city lights through the window. the burning scent of cigarette smoke woven into his clean-cut suit, clinging to his skin. you used to scold him about it, nag him to quit. “it’s bad for you, sang-woo. you’ll regret it one day.” he’d always laugh, a soft, wry chuckle, and tell you he’d quit the following week. but he never did.

˚ ༘♡ your fingers brushed against the guard’s gloved hand as you took the food. it was an accident, merely a momentary slip, but he didn’t pull away.

˚ ༘♡ the intimacy lasted only a second, maybe two, but it felt longer. you could feel the intensity of his gaze behind the mask, the pressure of something unsaid in the space between your hands. then, just as quickly as it happened, you snapped out of it. your fingers recoiled, your hand withdrawing, clutching the bottle of milk tightly. you cast him a strange look, but the mask gave nothing away.

˚ ༘♡ without another word, you whipped your head around and walked back to where your newfound team sat, your pulse quickening for reasons you didn’t fully understand. the milk was lukewarm, the bread dense and dry, but hunger gnawed at your insides, leaving you no choice but to force it down. across from you, player 456 introduced himself as seong gi-hun, speaking through mouthfuls of bread. he had a boisterous, comforting presence, someone who had probably been the most talkative in any room he’d ever walked into. beside him, player 199 offered a polite nod and a warm smile. “ali abdul,” he said, his tone peaceful despite the hardened exhaustion in his eyes. player 001 sat at gi-hun’s side, an amused glint in his gaze, though when it came time to say his own name, he faltered. his brow furrowed in confusion, his lips parting, but no answer came.

˚ ༘♡ “i… i can’t seem to remember,” he murmured after a moment, shaking his head as if trying to clear it.

˚ ༘♡ gi-hun patted the old man on the shoulder with an easy familiarity, as if this weren’t a place where people were going to die. “don’t worry about it, sir. happens to the best of us.”

˚ ༘♡ you said your own name last, voice steady and neutral. you weren’t sure why you bothered, given the likelihood that most of you wouldn’t make it out of here alive. but names were powerful things, even in a place like this.

˚ ༘♡ gi-hun’s eyes widened. “what a coincidence!” he said, chewing the last bite of his bread with enthusiasm. “a childhood friend of mine has a girlfriend by that name. cho sang-woo. really smart guy. graduated from seoul national university, the pride of our neighborhood, actually.” he grinned, nostalgia coloring his voice. “he was always a little serious and distant, but a good man. saw him not too long ago, actually. talked about her with a lot of affection.”

˚ ༘♡ you considered staying silent, letting his words pass, but your sentiments got the better of you. “you’re mistaken,” you said, your voice carefully measured. “you must mean ex-girlfriend.”

˚ ༘♡ gi-hun blinked, confused. “no… i saw him just the other week. he said he was still together with her.” then something seemed to click in his mind. he sat up straighter, his expression shifting from curiosity to outright surprise. “wait a minute… you’re her, aren’t you? you’re sang-woo’s girlfriend?”

˚ ༘♡ you stiffened. ali glanced between you and gi-hun, his expression cordial. the old man merely hummed to himself, watching the exchange with a clouded haze in his eyes.

˚ ༘♡ “what are you doing in a place like this?” gi-hun continued, baffled. “if you were in trouble, why didn’t you ask sang-woo for help? he would’ve been happy to give you money if you needed it, i would think.”

˚ ༘♡ his words sent a sharp, bitter pang through your chest. you fought to keep your expression neutral, though you could feel the beginnings of a frown tugging at the corners of your lips. “i was under the impression he didn’t want anything to do with me,” you said carefully. “he broke up with me months ago. told me he was seeing another woman.”

˚ ༘♡ gi-hun’s brows furrowed. he shook his head. “that doesn’t sound like sang-woo at all,” he said, his voice firm, almost disbelieving. “you’re the only woman i’ve ever heard him talk about.” he paused, scratching the back of his head. “ah, you know, he was always so focused on school, then work… i don’t think he’s ever had a serious relationship before. at least, not that i ever heard of.”

˚ ༘♡ your hands bent into fists beneath the table. you weren’t sure what to make of that. was sang-woo lying to gi-hun? or had he lied to you?

˚ ༘♡ you bit your lip, pushing the thought aside. “i think our time is better spent discussing what the next game could be and what our strategy will be,” you said, keeping your tone level.

˚ ༘♡ gi-hun nodded. “you’re right. no point dwelling on things we can’t change.”

˚ ༘♡ you all turned your focus toward the upcoming game. gi-hun tossed out a few ideas, tapping his fingers against the table as he spoke. “gonggi, maybe?” he suggested. “or elastics?”

˚ ༘♡ “hide and seek,” ali offered. “or maybe rock-paper-scissors? it must be a simple children’s games, the first game was one.”

˚ ༘♡ you frowned, thinking back to red light, green light. the first game had been straightforward, but brutal. if this was a pattern, then the next challenge would be similar, easy in theory, but deadly in execution.

˚ ༘♡ “whatever the next game is,” you murmured, your voice low, “our lives will be in danger.” no one disagreed.

˚ ༘♡ before anyone could say more, the blaring sound of the intercom echoed through the vast dormitory, its robotic tone devoid of humanity. “all players, please prepare for the second game.”

˚ ༘♡ a deep, mechanical hum followed as the immense steel doors at the far end of the room slid open with a hiss. the air inside the dormitory seemed to shift, thickening with tension. guards stood at attention beyond the threshold, faceless and motionless, their pink uniforms stark against the sterile white walls. there was something ominous in their stillness, as if they were waiting for something, anticipating the inevitable.

˚ ༘♡ a dense lump formed in your throat as you swallowed back unease. around you, players hesitated before pushing themselves to their feet, each movement sluggish with dread. one by one, you all fell into line, shuffling forward like cattle to the slaughter.

˚ ༘♡ the pastel stairways loomed ahead, their paths painted in bright, childlike colors. the contrast was sickening. bubblegum pink railings, sunflower-yellow steps, sky-blue walls. it should have been whimsical, playful even, but instead, it felt like a nightmarish illusion, something meant to disarm you, to lull you into a false sense of security before tightening its noose.

˚ ༘♡ gi-hun walked beside you, his expression bewildered. ali stayed close as well, his usually warm features stiff with apprehension. even player 001, the elderly man who had, up until now, seemed oddly cheerful despite the circumstances, was quiet.

˚ ༘♡ as you descended the final set of stairs, the doors before you parted with an ominous heaving. you stepped inside, the room was a playground. your breath became erratic as you took in the scene before you.

˚ ༘♡ the walls and ceiling were painted a brilliant cerulean blue, dotted with illustrations of fluffy white clouds. slides, jungle gyms, and brightly colored structures filled the space, mimicking the innocent joy of a schoolyard. but the momentary illusion of normalcy was just that, an illusion. you knew better than to trust the childish aesthetic.

˚ ༘♡ above, speakers crackled to life. “welcome to your second game.”the same feminine voice from before. at the far end of the room, four doors stood side by side. each bore a simple, distinct symbol, a triangle, a circle, a star, and an umbrella. “please choose one of the four shapes and stand in front of the corresponding door.” that was it. no explanation of what game awaited you. no hints, no clues. merely a demand.

˚ ༘♡ your pulse quickened, your gaze flickering toward gi-hun, who looked just as lost as you were. “what should we do?” you asked, your voice hushed.

˚ ༘♡ gi-hun exhaled. “i don’t know if we should split up or pick one door as a team.”

˚ ༘♡ you turned your head slightly, scanning the other players. some had already made their decisions, rushing toward their chosen symbols with varying degrees of certainty. others lingered, hesitating, unsure.

˚ ༘♡ then, movement caught your eye. near the door marked with a red triangle, a guard stood unnaturally still. taller than the others. broader shoulders. something about him felt… different. the way he stood, the way his masked head was aimed ever so slightly in your direction.

˚ ༘♡ a shiver ran down your spine, you turned away abruptly, refusing to acknowledge whatever that was. whoever that was.

˚ ༘♡ “i think we should go with our gut instinct,” you said, keeping your tone neutral. “but we should choose different doors. it increases our chances.”

˚ ༘♡ ali gave a firm nod. “i’ll go with circle.”

˚ ༘♡ “i choose triangle,” player 001 said, his voice lighthearted despite everything.

˚ ༘♡ gi-hun turned to you, offering you a choice. “you can pick either star or umbrella.”

˚ ༘♡ your lips parted slightly, eyes flickering between the two remaining doors. neither gave you any indication of what was to come. but as you stared at the star, something tugged at the back of your mind, a memory. late nights with sang-woo. the two of you walking through quiet city streets, your hand in his, the sky stretched out above you, endless and dark, speckled with distant stars. you remembered how you used to tilt your head up, watching them twinkle, feeling so small but safe at his side.

˚ ༘♡ “… i’ll pick star,” you said softly.

˚ ༘♡ gi-hun grinned. “then i’ll do umbrella.”

˚ ༘♡ you weren’t sure why, but something about that made you uneasy. when your group dispersed toward their respective doors, the locks clicked open. beyond the doors, a small station awaited, with a single guard seated at a table. thin, round metal tins were stacked neatly in front of them.

˚ ༘♡ slowly, you lifted the lid. inside, nestled within the tin, was a sweet dalgona sugar candy. etched into its surface was a perfectly traced star. your stomach dropped as realization sank in, the intercom crackled again. “the second game is dalgona.” your fingers clenched around the metal case. “each player must extract their shape cleanly within ten minutes to pass. failure to do so will result in elimination.”a timer appeared on the screen above. “let the game begin.”

˚ ༘♡ when the words left the intercom, the countdown started. your hands shook slightly as you picked up the thin needle provided, moving toward the slide where you could sit and steady yourself.

˚ ༘♡ a sudden, sharp noise split the air.

˚ ༘♡ you flinched, your body tensing instinctively, then a piercing bang. a gunshot.

˚ ༘♡ your head snapped up just in time to see a woman’s body hit the ground, her shattered dalgona candy slipping from her limp fingers. blood pooled beneath her corpse. a guard loomed over her lifeless form, lowering their pistol. around you, murmurs of horror rose. some players froze entirely, paralyzed by fear. others broke out into a cold sweat, their needles trembling against the brittle candy in their hands.

˚ ༘♡ your own grip on the tin tightened, your heart hammering violently against your ribs. if your candy cracked, you would die.

˚ ༘♡ you exhaled shakily and turned your focus back to your own dalgona. the star shape was intricate too many edges, too many delicate points. one wrong move, and the candy would snap in half. your hands were damp with sweat, your fingers slick against the cool metal of the needle. you swallowed hard, then, carefully, you began.

˚ ༘♡ as you sat in the vast playground, carefully working your way around one delicate point of the star in your honeycomb candy, that feeling intensified.

˚ ༘♡ a guard loomed inches behind you, his masculine presence impossible to ignore. he was taller than most of the others, broader in the shoulders, his stance unnervingly rigid. though his mask revealed nothing, you were certain, absolutely certain, that it was the same guard from before. the one who had lingered too long when handing you your breakfast, the one who smelled of cigarettes, the one whose gloved hand had ghosted over yours just long enough to send a shiver up your spine, the one who stared at you relentlessly before the second round began.

˚ ༘♡ but now was not the time to fixate on him. your entire existence balanced on the fragile line of sugar and patience. you kept your breath steady, hands trembling as you scraped your needle along the delicate shape. all around you, screams of anguish rang out, followed swiftly by the deafening crack of gunfire. players sobbed, begged, collapsed in pools of their own blood, but you forced yourself to ignore them. you had to.

˚ ༘♡ your world was reduced to this tiny, brittle shape in your hands. until it wasn’t.

˚ ༘♡ the sound of a faint, practically imperceptible crack reached your ears. your breath caught in your throat. slowly, fearfully, you looked down. a single, jagged fracture ran through the middle of your candy. broken. the game was over for you.

˚ ༘♡ your stomach dropped. your hands went numb, a cold dread washing over you like ice water. you had lost. and you knew what came next.

˚ ༘♡ slowly, as if in a trance, you turned. the guard behind you stepped forward, raising his pistol.

˚ ༘♡ you had seen this happen to others already. a merciless execution. one bullet to the head, and your body would crumple to the floor, just another nameless corpse in this twisted game.

˚ ༘♡ your legs trembled. “please…” the word left your lips before you could stop it, barely above a whisper, pathetic in its desperation. but it was in vain. no one had been spared before. no one ever would be.

˚ ༘♡ the guard leaned in closer, the cool metal of the gun pressing against your chest. and then, a voice. so low you almost thought you imagined it. “play dead.”

˚ ༘♡ that voice. it couldn’t be.

˚ ༘♡ regardless of every rational thought in your mind screaming at you that it was impossible, you knew exactly whose voice it was. cho sang-woo.

˚ ༘♡ your body went rigid, shock paralyzing you as the burden of confusion surged through you. but there was no time to think.

˚ ༘♡ the gun lowered slightly, shifting away from your head and down toward your chest. you barely had a second to comprehend what was occurring before a red-hot explosion of pain tore through your side, a bullet sinking just below your ribs, missing anything vital but still slicing through flesh and muscle with terrifying ease. the force of the impact sent you stumbling backward, your vision blurring as agony shot through every nerve in your body. you wanted to scream. you wanted to sob. but you didn’t. you couldn’t.

˚ ༘♡ you let yourself go limp. your body collapsed to the ground, your limbs falling still, your breath shallow. you forced your eyes shut, ignoring the unbearable pain radiating through your chest, ignoring the warm trickle of blood pooling beneath you.

˚ ༘♡ you willed yourself to become nothing. just another body. the potent scent of blood filled your nose as you felt hands, his hands, grab onto your arms.

˚ ༘♡ then, the sensation of being dragged. your body scraped against the cold, hard floor, pain flaring with every inch you moved, but you kept still, fighting against every instinct screaming at you to cry, to breathe harder, to react. you couldn’t. you had to stay dead.

˚ ༘♡ footsteps moved around you. guards passing by, other bodies being disposed of. slowly, the sounds of the execution grounds faded. the doors shut behind you. you were being taken somewhere. your heart pulsated in your ears, your blood running hot and thick down your side, staining your uniform. and through the dizzying haze of pain and terror, one thought remained, echoing over and over in your mind. only of cho sang-woo.

a/n: let me know if you have any thoughts or wish to see another part to this story!!

[babeyun]

bubblegum ☆ y.jw [m]

synopsis: from raspberry sour belts to strawberry crème filled chocolates, you know jungwon like the back of your hand...when it comes to candy. he's far deeper than meets the eye. genre: acquaintances to lovers au. candyshop au, college au. fluff, smidge of angst, suggestive themes. pairing: college student!yang jungwon x fem!candy shop attendant!reader word count: 11.9k (sorry...) rating: 18+. minors do not interact. warnings: swearing, mentions of food, stress and bad coping mechanisms. jungwon has a sweet tooth. reader and jungwon are both subtly flirtatious in their own ways. reader wears glasses but hates them. there is NO smut in this, just kissing and heavy petting, suggestive themes. pet names (pretty, pretty girl, baby, etc.) what to listen to: bubblegum - newjeans ; crush - seventeen ; trivia 承: love - bts ; blossom - enhypen. author's note: [star dividers by @/saradika here on tumblr!] ah! i came up with this concept so quickly it made my head spin, but i really hope everyone likes it? this is super late, it is past six in the morning as i post this but either way...happiest birthday to my absolute baby, my wonsito. i love u!

SATURDAY, 7:39PM.

"We're out of raspberry sour belts." Jungwon groans inwardly as he hears your voice call through the store, your hands busy with the restock cart as you push past the candy carousels. His hand shoves the tongs back into their slot, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. He bites down on his gum, trying not to grind his teeth as he chews it carefully. "You're sure?" He asks meekly, resting his head against the carousel display that showed off chocolate bunnies made for the Valentine's Day sale. You glance up from your cart, holding a bag of sour cherry balls as you nod. He can see your lips moving but he can't hear what you're saying, his eyes too focused on the glimmer of your lipgloss in the low light of the shop.

"Might have some in the back, but it'll take me a minute to check. Feel free to continue perusing, we have those strawberry crème melts you like on Carousel G." The gesture you make with the scoop you've picked up from the candy container makes him snap back to reality, and he nods like he was listening. He wanders off, before hearing you snicker quietly.

"G, Jungwon. As in Girlfriend, not that you'd know anything about that." You call, and he ducks out of sight embarrassedly. 

Jungwon had long been a customer of your father's candy shop. He met you about six years ago, when your father finally allowed you to start working there part-time to save some pocket money for school. The two of you wound up going to the same university a few miles away, and you kept working at the shop – and Jungwon kept coming back.

He had become quite the regular – often finishing the raspberry sour belts, the strawberry crème melts, and your personal favorites: the chocolate almonds. He recalls you scowling when you'd find yourself yearning for a crunchy, chocolatey delight – only to arrive at the shop for your shift and seeing Jungwon, eyes heavy with stress, filling his candy bag with the last of them.  You've learned to settle for the strawberry yoghurt almonds, but they just don't hit the same. (And Jungwon feels guilty, so he leaves the almonds alone every once in a while. He enjoys seeing you smile lightly when you skirt past them and click the container closed to save them for yourself.)

You make smalltalk with Jungwon, asking about his classes and his friends. It's always the same – his classes are okay, his friends are okay, he is okay. He asks you the same questions – your classes are fine, your friends are sparse and you're alright. You're both juniors, you're both maxed out with your schedules and you're both stressed – but it's like none of that translates into your conversations. Almost as if the weight of it all is lifted when you speak to each other, even if it's the bare minimum.

That's about as far as your conversations go anyway, unless you're directing him around the shop as if he'd never been there before. He can't help but let you be his human GPS though, not when he acts like he hadn't been there in years just to hear your voice. As if everything hasn't been in the same spot since your father first opened the shop.

"Uhm, do you guys still have those salted caramel taffies? My friend just asked me for some." He pipes up quietly, and your eyes flicker up to him with a furrow in your brows.

"I think so? We did move those from their old carousel, they should be on the shelf wall now. Above the yoghurt pretzels but below the chocolate raisins. Odd placing, but I don't question my dad." You shrug, your hands now busy with caramel apple suckers and pouring them into the clear bin. He nods, mostly to himself as he skirts to the back, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket. He takes it out, seeing two messages from the same friend that owes him over eighty bucks in saltwater taffy.

NEW! Msg From: Jake [7:43PM] is the cute girl there [7:43PM] you should ask if she's single

He scoffs, shoving his phone back into his pocket and opening the case. He listens to you rustle around, the satisfying sound of candy pouring nothing in comparison to the soft tone of your voice. Sometimes you spoke a lot more, particularly on days where you weren't stuck restocking – or filling in for your coworker, Jaehee…who loved to call out around the holidays.

He hears you walking away, and feels alone as the sound of candy stops. He likes your presence, he may even have a bit of a crush on you.

Okay. He has a big crush on you. He's had a crush on you for three fucking years, and not once has he been able to make a move.

"So stupid." He hears you mumbling to yourself, the furrow in your brows not leaving as he looks over his shoulder at you, seeing your phone in your hand as you typed furiously. He lets his brows raise as he shuts the taffy container, making his way to you and clearing his throat. He stays a few feet away as you look up at him, your eyes tired and annoyed but your voice still sweet.

"Ready?" "Yep. Sorry about…whatever is frustrating you." He winces as he gestures at your phone, and you just scoff out a laugh.

"Not your fault, Jungwon. Jaehee'll be the death of me, you know." You shake your head, shoving your phone in your pocket before turning on your heel and leading the way to the register. Your father insisted on remaining old-school – so much so, that the calculator you used to add up the prices had long lost the numbers off the keys.

"On the scale, please." You tapped it, and Jungwon placed his bag in the metal bowl and reached into his pocket for his wallet. You punched the keys in, turning the calculator to him. Eight dollars, ninety-two cents. "Sounds reasonable." He shrugs, making you smirk. You took the bag off the scale, tying it closed with your favorite baby blue ribbon. Jungwon had often watched you let children choose what color they wanted to tie their bag shut, but you never let him choose. He smiled inwardly at the information that fed his subtle delusion, before sliding a wad of cash into your awaiting hand. "Keep the change." He murmured, taking the bag off the counter when you raised a brow at him, shaking your head. "You're forgetting something." His brow furrowed, and he felt around his pockets. Wallet, phone, keys. He felt his head, sunglasses. "What?" "Say thank you, Jungwon." You smiled, pulling a box of raspberry sour belts out from under the register. The sticker that usually reads the best by date had a new label typed beneath today's date.

MADE FOR: YJW.

His eyes widened, and they flickered up to you as you slid the box across the counter to him. "I thought you said–" "Still haven't heard you say thank you, Jungwon." He scoffed, his ears feeling hot as he took the box between lithe fingers. He cleared his throat, "How mu–" "Say thank you." You repeated, not looking at him as you popped the register open, smoothing the bills he'd given you into their warranted spaces. He sighed, tongue toying with the silver ring through his lip. Your eyes were now pointed, arms crossed on your chest as you waited for him to speak.

"Thank you, Y/N." "You're welcome, Jungwon." This…this was the confusing part of your interactions.

You were curt, short and sweet. Your smile was extended to every customer that crossed the threshold of the shop, your eyes shimmered with delight when someone sampled a recommendation of yours and fell in love with it. You laughed, giggled, chortled with those who cracked jokes, and you empathized with those who came in with broken hearts, in need of a little treat to lift their spirits.

But this? This was reserved for him. It was an unspoken thing you did – never charging him for whatever it may have been that you hid away for him. Whether it was raspberry sour belts, strawberry crème melts…even the occasional caramel apple sucker, he never paid for it and he wasn't sure if it was you being nice or you flirting with him.

It was even worse when you'd touch him softly, casually. Like you had zero idea the effect you had on him. Like the ghosting touch of your palm on his shoulder as you guided him through the shop, or when he said something that made you laugh.

Well…you didn't but that's not the point here.

"Have a good night." You murmured, a soft smile on your glossed lips snapping him out of his trance once more. He cleared his throat roughly, mumbling a you too before skirting out of the shop. The street was damp with rain, and he huffed as he walked towards his car, your lips cemented in his mind.

Does your lipgloss have a flavor? Is it something he'd like? 

Would you let him kiss you?

He groans to himself, yanking his car door open before looking up and seeing you flicking the sign to say CLOSED. Your eyes wander, and they land on him – you smile, waving gently before turning on your heel and walking away from the large windows.

God, he's so fucked.

TUESDAY, 7:40PM.

"We're about to close." You're restocking again when he slips into the shop, your hands covered in blue powder from what he assumes are blue raspberry sour straws that came apart. You look frustrated, so he quietly takes his bag from the front of the shop when you look up, about to reiterate that the shop is going to close.

He sees your eyes change, your shoulders sagging as you give him a pitiful smile.

"Hey, Jungwon. Sorry about the mess. Feel free, but be quick please." You roll your eyes, your glasses sitting atop your head as you squint. He shakes his head, reaching for your glasses and pulling them gently off your head. He holds them up to you, making you grimace at the blue powder from the candy coating the lenses. "Great. Now I'm covered in blue raspberry bullshit and I can't see. This is terrific." You mutter, looking around for the wet wipes you usually kept on your restock cart. Jungwon absentmindedly rubbed the lens of your glasses with his sweater sleeve, the blue powder seeping into his black hoodie. He held them up to the light, before switching sleeves and wiping them again.

You looked back up, wipes in hand to see him hold up your cleaned glasses. You squinted at him, his hands gingerly sliding your glasses onto your face and walking away before you could see the powder staining his sleeves. He rolls the cuffs up, hiding it from view as he beelines for Carousel G. 

The display is now stocked with a new flavor of bubblegum – raspberry swirl. He glances at it before looking over at you, watching you grimace as you carefully pour chocolate nonpareils into Carousel A. He clears his throat, garnering your attention.

"New?" He murmurs, and you blink at him, before putting the candy down and making your way over to him. You slide your hands in your apron pockets, the remaining blue powder looking like an avant garde choice across the white vinyl.

"You okay, Jungwon?" You whispered, his eyes flickering to you before he hummed.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He asked, twirling the magenta bubblegum in his fingers. You step in front of him, taking the bubblegum from his hand and unwrapping it for him. You hold the cellophane taut, prompting him to take the bubblegum from it. He does, his lip jutted out slightly in a pout as he shoves it into his cheek.

"Midterms, maybe? I know your classes are stressful." Your voice is laced with empathy, and he picks at his nails before sighing. Looking up, he sees your laptop and a bunch of your textbooks sprawled across the front counter. "Your classes are stressful too, though. Aren't they?" He searches your face, and you push your glasses up slightly, before running a hand through your hair with a sigh. You shrug your shoulders, as if to say could be worse.

"I'm a little…overwhelmed." He mumbles, fumbling with the cellophane bag in his hands. You nod, plucking a piece of the raspberry bubblegum off the display and unwrapping it quickly, shoving it into your mouth as you sigh.

"I'm sorry. I'd offer candy but it wouldn't be much, would it?" You tilt your head, a soft smile laced on your face as he lets out a humorless laugh, shaking his head.

"It does more than you think, actually. Helps keep me grounded, I don't know. I tend to snack when I study, that's why you see me here so often." He rolls his eyes, "I'm trying to break the habit." "Oh, but then I wouldn't see you. That'd be a shame." You sound almost sad as you eye him, his cheeks heating under your gaze. You're about to speak again when you hear the doorbell chime, and you turn immediately to greet the person. Jungwon takes the moment to slink away, hiding himself away towards the back as the person announces they need to place a custom order for Valentine's Day.

Raspberry sour belts…strawberry crème melts…two pieces of pear taffy.

He doesn't pack his bag with much this time around, ignoring the urge to fill it the rest of the way with cherry jelly beans. He peers over Carousel M to see if you're still busy, and sees your smile wide as you carefully fill out the paper on the clipboard for the customer. He hears flavors being rattled off, and you write just as fast as they're being said.

He decides to circle back to the jelly beans, grabbing an ounce cup to fill and duck into his bag. You're telling the customer his total by the time Jungwon is done, and you've exchanged money and goodbyes when Jungwon inches back up towards the front. You give him a quick smile before sneaking over to the door and flipping the sign, waving sorely at a few customers who wanted in. They just give you a thumbs up. "Exciting stuff." Your voice is pinched with a bit of sarcasm as you climb back up behind the counter and gesture to the order, full of fruity flavors and chewy treats. He half-smiles, nodding solemnly before sliding his bag onto the scale as you grab the calculator. You flip to him.

Six dollars and ten cents. You cut the same baby blue ribbon for him as he pulls his wallet out, and he mumbles the same thing about keeping the change as he grabs for his bag. You stop him, holding the bag just out of reach as you frown.

"I know we don't have the same major or have the same classes, but do you think you'd need a study buddy?" Your eyes are serious, and Jungwon feels inclined to say no. He knows he wouldn't get any work done, not when your eyes are so pretty and your laughter makes his stomach fill with butterflies. Not when your voice is so soothing, he could fall asleep just listening to you right now.

He forces himself to find his voice, clearing his throat.

"I don't know if you'd want to do that, I'm going to have to study through the Valentine's Day weekend. Don't you have plans?" He rubbed his neck, and you shrugged.

"I don't have plans, and I assume you don't either if you're going to be holding yourself away to study." You raise a brow, as if daring him to challenge your assumption. He scoffs out a laugh, running a hand through his hair as he shakes his head.

Pretty girl like you doesn't have plans? "No, no plans. Not this year." He shrugs, watching you pull your apron off. You fling it over the back of the chair behind the counter, one he often saw you sitting at if he came in when you were studying. He hears you chuckle slightly, shaking your head as you print a bit of empty receipt paper and tear it off, sliding a pen between your teeth as you round the counter. "This is my number. We can spend the weekend studying like bitchless losers. I'm also free this Sunday, if you are too." You nod as you write the numbers on the paper, folding it quickly and holding it out to him along with his bag. He clears his throat, nodding even though Sunday is his birthday.

"Oh, and Jungwon?" "Yes?" "I hate seeing you so mopey. A hug for your thoughts?" You hold your arms out, and his instinctive response is to fiddle with the silver ring through his lip as his cheeks heat. You wiggle your fingers, a soft smile on your lips as he nods slowly. He puts the bag of candy on the counter, inching into your embrace before you roll your eyes and wrap your arms around his neck, his own instinctively going around your waist and resting his hands in the middle of your back loosely..

You're warm, God, you're so warm. Your hair smells like baby powder, your sweater riddled with a creamy strawberry scent. He can't help but wrap his arms around you tighter, pulling you closer and burying his face into your shoulder. He feels the cool metal of your dangling earring against his neck as you coddle against him with a hum.

"Feel better?" You murmur, the feeling of your breath against the shell of his ear making him shiver. It makes you laugh softly, your fingers coming to the nape of his neck and carding through the mess of waves. You make no move to slip away, but Jungwon tightens his hold around you anyway.

He doesn't know how long it's been until you start swaying slightly, humming softly along to the music still playing in the shop. It sounds like Valentine by Laufey.

"Sorry." He mumbles into your shoulder, blinking slowly. He feels you shake your head, your hand rubbing down his shoulders in an attempt to comfort. You don't move away, and Jungwon is beginning to think he could never get out of your embrace if you don't make the first move.

"Don't be. If I'm honest, this is making me kind of sleepy." You chuckle lightly, continuing to sway with him. "I still have to walk home."

"You walk?" He jerks his head back, looking to see your eyes slightly tired behind your glasses. You shrug, nodding. "Yeah, on most nights. It's fine, though, I only worry when it's raining." "It's been raining all week, Y/N." He says pointedly, his arms still wrapped around you as you roll your eyes. 

"I'll live." "Let me drive you home tonight. You're almost done here, right?"

He doesn't know how he's speaking so confidently, and even you look a bit taken aback before nodding.

"Uh, yeah. Are you sure? I wouldn't want to inconvenience you–" "You're not. I can wait." He doesn't give you much of a chance to say anything, patting your back gently before pulling away. You move around the shop quickly, and Jungwon turns your laptop around to peer at your studying material. All he sees is words ending in -otomy, and he scrunches his nose before saving your progress on the program and closing the device. He spots your bookmarks scattered across the counter, slipping them between the pages and shutting the books, stacking them up carefully. He places your laptop on top of the books, before you skirt back around to the counter, rolling the restock cart into the backroom.

You move behind the counter, hanging the apron up and gathering the money in the register. You count it quickly, shoving it into a manila envelope and scribbling across the front in fuschia Sharpie before sliding it into the safe behind you. He watches as you quietly slip the heavy textbooks into your bag, your face holding a frown as you zip it up. You're about to pull it off the counter and over your shoulders when Jungwon grabs the strap.

"I'll carry it." He says quickly, moving the bag to his shoulder before you can object. He swears he sees a glint of bashfulness in your eyes as you clear your throat, a soft thank you slipping as you round the counter again, swinging your keys around your finger as he grabs his bag of candy (and the little paper with your number.) He steps out of the shop, digging his car keys out of his pocket as you turn the lights off and lock the doors.

"Are you sure, Jungwon? I really don't want you to have to go out of your way." You wince, clutching the keys in your hand as he scoffs.

"Y/N, you're insane if you think I'm ever going to not offer you a ride home after finding out how much your backpack weighs." He grimaces, and you bite back your laughter. "Now, come on. You can give me directions when we get in the car." Like a true gentleman, he opens the door for you. He waits until you're settled in before closing it, opening his back door and placing your bag gingerly in the footwell. He rounds the car, opening his door and settling in quickly, putting his bag of candy in the center console.

"Where to?" He asks as he shoves the key in the ignition, feeling your eyes on him. He peers up at you, your face unreadable. "Y/N?" "Sorry, what?" You blink, and he huffs out a laugh. "I said, where to?" He gestures to the road, and you nod quickly, taking your phone out and typing your address into the GPS. He glances at it, pulling out of his parking spot when he realizes you live in the same apartment complex as he does. "Y/N." "What?"

He scoffs, reaching over and ending the route on your phone. You scrunch your nose, and he holds up his keyfob for the parking garage – the white sticker screaming Decelis Student Apartments. 

"You live there, too? How come I've never seen you?" You gasp, tucking your phone between your thighs and facing him as he fiddles with the radio. He shakes his head.

"You probably live on the West End. I share an apartment with my friends Jake and Sunoo on the North End. Our friends all live on the West End and we never see them at the complex." He snorts, settling when the radio plays out cool jazz. You nod, your lips forming an o-shape as he gets on the main road.

"I do live on the West End. My dad picked my apartment, he said it had the best view of the city." You shrug, and he nods.

"Sunoo picked ours. I wasn't going to move out of the dorms initially, but then my ceiling fell through and the University wanted me to pay for it. I said fuck that and I moved out the next week." He grimaces, and you choke out a laugh.

"Your ceiling fell through?!"

"Tell me about it, man. And I was upset, of course, but I was even more upset because the debris crushed a project I'd been working on for three weeks for my design course. I failed the semester because of that, can you believe it?" You don't respond, opting to bite back your giggles as he huffs.

"It's not funny!" "It's not, it's not. I'm sorry, Won." Won.

He doesn't bother replying, knowing he'd be a stuttering mess. Instead, the car fills with comfortable silence as you settle into the warm feeling of his old car. The warmth blasting through the vents is enough to make you sleepy, and he can tell because you're dozing off in the seat. He lets you nod off, driving carefully through the winding streets of the city. He frowns when he sees a bit of rain start to fall, fat drops of water landing on his windshield as he pulls into the West End parking garage. He'd have to walk in the rain to get to his side of the complex, and likely for over an hour.

He didn't have class tomorrow, either. He could leave his car there…maybe the cold of the rain would make the delusions of you go away.

"Y/N." He called softly, making you stir. You don't open your eyes, only humming in response and stretching your legs. He sees you wiggle your feet, rolling his eyes in amusement before he calls your name again. "Y/N. We're here." "Shit, sorry." You mutter, crossing your arms over your chest and snuggling deeper into the seat. Something about you sitting in his car with him, going home makes his chest fill with an odd feeling. Something feels closer, something feels more domestic than it ever had.

It feels oddly comforting.

"Y/N." He reaches over, unbuckling your seat belt and making you jolt awake. You furrow your brows at him, a scowl on your lips as he smiles. "As pretty as you are in my passenger seat, you have to sleep in your bed. C'mon, I'll carry your bag." "You think I'm pretty?" Your eyes are wide, and he feels his stomach drop to his ass. Did he say that shit out loud? "Of course I do. I'd be an idiot not to." He mumbles back, turning the car off as he unbuckles his seat belt. He can feel the heat of your eyes on him, but he ignores it as he slips out of the car. He's doing mental gymnastics, overthinking everything as he opens your door, offering his hand to help you out. You take it gingerly, and he feels the hair on the back of his neck stand on edge as he closes the door. He expects you to let go of his hand, but you don't – instead, holding onto it gently as he grabs your bag out of the backseat. He looks up at you as he closes the door, your bag hoisted over his shoulder.

You're just looking at him, a slight twitch of your lips as you tug on his hand.

"This way. I'm 3B." You slot your fingers in his, and Jungwon struggles not to breathe shakily as you pull him through the sliding doors of the parking garage, past the stairs. Your hand is so warm against his, your thumb rubbing gentle circles into his skin as you reach your apartment. Your doormat is shaped like a cinema ticket, ADMIT ONE scrawled across the coir.

You don't let go of his hand as you stick your keys in the doorknob, unlocking it quickly and pulling him in. You let go once he's passed the threshold, a soft tada! from your lips as he takes in your apartment.

This feels like a breach into a new perspective. Your space is spotless, but the coziest thing he'd ever seen in his life. A few throw blankets over a huge couch, lots of mood lightning, a few neon signs across the walls. Your kitchen outlet has a strawberry-shaped night light plugged into it, and lots of Polaroids hung up with clothespins pinched over twine.

"Nice place." He murmurs, looking around quietly. He gestures to your backpack, and you pull out one of the chairs at your dining table. He slips it off, setting it on the cushion before clearing his throat. "Thank you, for the ride and for carrying my things. You really didn't have to." You nod, and he rolls his eyes. "Y/N, I'd do it a million times over. Stop carrying all those books, you're going to hurt your back." He attempts to scold you, but it only makes you smile inwardly, shrugging your shoulders. He inches towards the door, feeling overwhelmed by the steps your relationship has taken in such a short amount of time…

…But God, if he doesn't like it. He could even go as far as saying he loved it.

"Don't forget to text me, okay? We're friends, I don't want you to feel stressed if I can help it." You nod, and he clears his throat as you carefully pry the front door open. He slips out, standing on your doormat as he speaks.

"I'll try not to, I'll save your number when I get home. Goodnight, Y/N."

Something about your eyes is screaming at him, but he can't pinpoint what it is as you trail your gaze around his face. Ultimately, you smile gently, nodding your head curtly. "Goodnight, Won."

FRIDAY, 5:21PM.

"I'm not going to embarrass you, I swear. Not this close to your birthday, anyway." Jake had been begging Jungwon to take him to the shop to see you in person ever since Tuesday, seeing Jungwon walk up to the apartment door typing something into his phone through the Ring camera. When Jake found out it was your number, he flipped.

Literally. A backflip in the living that ended up breaking a lamp. Sunoo's lamp, specifically. You know how that goes.

"You better not. And you're paying." Jungwon grumbles, opening the door to the shop. He doesn't see you, but he can hear you – and you're grumbling. He looks back at Jake, who is peering over Jungwon's shoulder. You're angrily refilling the strawberry yoghurt almonds, muttering about something with your brows furrowed. You seem entirely too upset to even notice that you're not alone, so Jungwon takes the opportunity to glance at Jake. "She's pretty. I'm a little scared, but she's pretty." He mumbles, and Jungwon rolls his eyes as he grabs a cellophane bag and hands one to his friend. They both quietly make their way around the shop, Jake sticking to Jungwon like glue when your head finally whips up, your eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights.

"Jesus, you guys scared me!" You breathe out, your hand to your chest as Jungwon snickers. "Well, you seemed pretty upset and kind of in your own world. Didn't want to poke the bear." He shrugs, and you suck your teeth, about to snip back when you notice Jake behind him. Jungwon sees your eyes go wide, wincing at your unprofessionalism as you try to rectify the situation.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you, uhm…please let me know if you need any assistance." You smile, and Jungwon glances at Jake, who is smiling back with a nod. Jake pats Jungwon's shoulder, mumbling something about circulating the shop to let him have his moment with you. 

You wait until Jake leaves to give Jungwon a scornful look, but he can't see anything but the way your lip is jutted out in a pout.

Cute, he thinks.

"You didn't text me." You say, crossing your arms over your chest as Jungwon opens the chocolate almond container. He scoffs lightly, tonguing his lip ring as he nods, his cheeks heating slightly. Looking up at you, he sees an expectant look on your face.

"I…sorry. I was nervous." He mumbles, wincing as the confident persona he had when he walked in slipped away. You hummed, an unamused look on your face as you dug your phone out of your pocket. "Give me your number, since I have to do everything myself."

Your voice is teasing, so he knows you're not really upset. He feels his face grow hotter as you flip your phone and hold it out to him, and he takes it gently. He types his number in shakily, clearing his throat as he hands it back to you.

"I will see you on Sunday, yes?" You raise a brow, and Jungwon sees Jake's head pop up from around Carousel B.

"Sunday? Jungwon, we have plans." Jake speaks up, wincing as he sees the death glare being sent over your shoulder by the younger boy.

"Plans?" Your eyes are wide with confusion, but Jake doesn't give Jungwon a chance to explain before he slides over and does it for him.

"I'm sorry, we haven't formally met. I'm Jake." He holds his hand out to you, and Jungwon watches as you take it gingerly. You give it a firm shake and tell him your name, but your face is still muddled. "You're roommates, right?" "Yes. Jungwon, does Y/N know it's your birthday on Sunday?" Your eyes widen, your hand coming to cover your mouth as you gasp.

"Jungwon! You let me ask you to study together on your birthday? Are you insane?!" "I wasn't going to do anything for my birthday anyway? I was just going to hide myself away in my room, order takeout and study until my brain melted out of my ears." Jungwon shrugs. Jake rolls his eyes, moving his hair out of his face before speaking to you.

"Y/N, we're having a little movie night. I'm formally inviting you. Bring whatever you want, or nothing at all. Jungwon, give her our address." Jake scoffs, shoving Jungwon's shoulder lightly. "Studying all night on your birthday, are you mad?"

Jake walks away, leaving Jungwon in your presence. You press your lips into a thin line, "You should've told me, Jungwon. I would've left it for another day."

He doesn't get a chance to reply, your eyes softening as you scan his face.

"I feel like a bad friend because I didn't know. I'm sorry, I should've asked."

The sad look glazing over your eyes feels like a punch in the gut.

"No! No, please don't feel bad, Y/N. It really wasn't that important, and I should've told you I had prior plans." He tries, but you shake your head, putting your hands on his shoulders. "Birthdays are important, Jungwon. It is the one day that is all about you. It's important to me." You squeeze his shoulders lightly, and his chest fills with that odd feeling again. Something about you is so, so comforting.

Your hands drop and you tuck them into your apron pockets with a soft smile, and the words tumble out before he can stop them.

"Why would it be important to you? It's not like we're best friends." If you're affected by his words, you don't show it much. You only nod, nibbling on your lip before clearing your throat. For the first time, your smile is different towards him. It's the smile you use with customers who don't get the hint, or those who make you upset by letting their kids cause havoc in the shop. It makes his chest hurt.

"Of course, Jungwon. My apologies."

You turn on your heel, rolling the restock cart away and allowing him to move around freely. Jungwon catches Jake's eyes over one of the carousels, and he's not sure what expression is on his face that Jake's furrows into one of confusion and a bit of disdain. He slinks over, bag full of salted caramel taffy.

"Everything okay?" He murmurs, and Jungwon pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Let's just go home." He whispers, watching as you pat the top of your head for your glasses. You slide them down your face, swiping your hair out of your eyes and settling back behind the counter. You continue to nibble on the inside of your cheek, your focus now on your phone screen as you begin typing across the screen.

The two of them trek up to the counter, and you tuck your phone away to help them check out. You tap the scale lightly, and Jake sets his bag in it. You give Jungwon a pointed look, and he shakes his head, crumpling the empty cellophane bag in his hand. Shrugging, you click the numbers into the calculator, flipping it over for them to see. "Nine dollars, fifteen cents." 

Jake digs his wallet out but Jungwon is faster, handing you a wad of cash and mumbling about the change. He doesn't even give you a chance to ask Jake what color ribbon he wants to tie his bag, because he takes it off the scale and pushes it into Jake's chest.

"See you around, Y/N." Jake sighs as Jungwon sulks out of the shop, and you shake your head disappointedly. "See you, Jake."

Jungwon's hand is buried in his container of cherry jelly beans, head stuck between his textbook when his phone buzzes on his desk.

NEW! Msg From: Y/N [7:49PM] hi, jungwon. it's y/n. [7:49PM] i just wanted to say i'm sorry for earlier. it's been weighing on me a bit. [7:50PM] i hope your birthday goes well :) don't worry about studying together, and have a good valentine's weekend!

He sits up quickly, snatching his phone off his desk. His lock screen widgets tell him it's raining, and the rumble of thunder confirms it.

Msg To: Y/N [7:53PM] i'm coming to drive you home, it's raining. [7:54PM] we can talk in person, okay?

He doesn't wait for a reply, shoving his phone in his pocket and grabbing his keys off his nightstand. He walks right past Jake and Sunoo sitting on the couch, watching reruns of Bad Girls Club. "Woah, woah! Where are you off to in such a hurry?" Jake calls over his shoulder, making Jungwon huff as he pulls on his windbreaker. "Giving Y/N a ride home. It's pouring out there." He mutters, grabbing his umbrella from the stand as Sunoo peers over Jake's head.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? The forecast said the rain is only going to get worse." Jungwon just sighs, zipping up his windbreaker before giving them a pointed look. "I'll be back." Neither of the men get a chance to say anything because Jungwon slams out of the apartment, barreling down the hall towards the parking garage. He finds his car by clicking his keyfob several times, wincing at the loud cracks of lightning across the night sky. He manages to pull out of the parking garage safely, clicking his tongue as he turns his heater on blast.

The drive to the shop is only six or so minutes, but the rain is coming down so strong that he can hardly see the road. His hazards are on, and he takes it slow – eventually seeing the lights of the shop come into view. He parks incredibly slowly, worming into the spot with practiced precision. Grimacing, he opens his door and shoves his umbrella out first, turning the car off quickly and sliding out. He slams the door a little too hard, but skips over the forming pools of water on the curb.

He's walking quickly towards the shop, seeing you scribbling on another manila envelope. Pulling the door open, your head snaps up, eyes wide before you blink. He doesn't speak, opting to shake his umbrella off outside before setting it on the black mat that you have in front of the door. Wiping his feet, he carefully makes his way over to the counter.

"I was an asshole, Y/N." You blink at him, flipping the fuschia Sharpie between your fingers.

"I shouldn't have said what I did, I'm sorry. I just…it's not a big deal to me. If it had been, I would've told you. I wouldn't have said yes to studying, and I wouldn't have planned to turn my phone on Do Not Disturb the entire day if I had cared about my birthday." You blink again, nodding softly. Letting out a soft breath, you fiddle with the crease of the envelope in your hand, tapping it against your palm.

"Just because it's not something you care about, does not mean that the people who care about you shouldn't care. You should let yourself be celebrated, you should let yourself feel loved, Jungwon. We are surrounded by so much anger and hatred in this world, should we not cherish the love and appreciation that rains upon us on our special day? A day that comes once a year. Anniversaries, birthdays…those things are important." Your voice is gentle, but he feels it deep, deep in his chest.

"Studying can wait, you have your entire life to study and learn. Living in the moment, making memories, even if it's just sitting around a television and watching a movie together. That matters, those moments count. You should cherish them, don't you think?" You're leaning slightly over the counter, and he sighs inwardly, but nods.

"Yeah." "Yeah?" You whisper, a soft smile on your lips as you reach over and ruffle his hair. He swats your hand away carefully, making you snort as you turn around and slip the manila envelope into the safe. He waits quietly as you pack your backpack, instinctively reaching for the strap and hoisting it over his shoulder as you walk around the counter. You grab your coat off the rack in the entrance, fishing your keys out of the pocket as you tug it on.

You flick the lights off, and Jungwon steps out first, opening his umbrella to cover the two of you as you lock the door.

"Man, it's really pouring out here, huh?" You mutter, tucking your keys into your pocket as Jungwon nods. The two of you walk in silence to the car, everything panning out the exact same way it did the first time. Jungwon scrunches his nose as he steps into the car, not bothering to shake the umbrella off as he tosses it into the back with your backpack.

"I'm sorry, again. I don't know what came over m–" You slide your hand over his mouth, the sweet scent of raspberry floating off it. "Stop. It's over, okay? We move forward, no looking back."

His okay is muffled, and you give him a half-smile as you drop your hand, leaning your head back on the seat. You reach into your coat pocket, and hold out a piece of raspberry swirl bubblegum. "No more apologies, Won." He takes it quietly, his lip pouting as he shoves the gum into his cheek. The car is silent as he drives the two of you back home carefully, your eyes barely open as he pulls into the West End parking garage. He undoes your seat belt, making you scowl again as he bites back his smile. This time, he takes your backpack out first, shoving it onto his shoulder before opening your door and offering his hand.

"C'mon. Up we go." He wiggles his fingers, your tired eyes peering up at him as you sigh. You take his hand, your fingers cool to the touch as you interlace them with his. 

The walk to your apartment is slow and deliberate, your thumb once more tracing circles into his skin. Nothing is said – not as you fumble for your keys, not as you invite him into your apartment or as he slides the backpack off onto the same dining chair. Nothing, until he turns to face you and you're holding the door open slightly, your coat now slid off and hung up on the hook behind the door..

"Will you come over on Sunday? I'll make one of the guys come get you if I can't myself." He asks meekly, and you smile tiredly before nodding.

"Yeah, I'll be there." "And we'll study together next weekend?" 

"Yeah, Won. We can study together." You chuckle, holding your arms out. "Hug it out? I don't like tension."

It's almost embarrassing how quickly Jungwon throws himself into your embrace, burying his face into your neck once more. Your fingers are gentle as they card through his hair, and he relishes in the comfort of your arms, eyes closed.

It's only when he feels you press your lips to his cheek that his eyes snap open, but you speak before he can.

"As much as I enjoy this, I'm going to fall asleep standing up." You murmur in his ear, and he hates how he shivers at the feeling of your breath on his skin. He pulls back, clearing his throat as you smile tenderly. "Goodnight, Jungwon." He doesn't know how he finds his voice, mumbling a delicate good night before slinking out of your apartment. He's not even sure how he gets home, his car now parked in the North End garage and his eyes glued to the ground as he unlocks his front door. Jake and Sunoo are still seated there, casually looking up as Jungwon shuts the door.

He rests his back against it, before feeling his legs turn into jelly as he slides down it.

Jake snorts, "What happened to you? You'd think you finally manned up and kissed the girl." Sunoo snorts, hurriedly tapping Jake's shoulder and pointing at the distressed roommate on the ground. "More like she kissed him. There's lip gloss on his cheek." Jungwon only sinks further onto the floor, a noise mixed with a groan and a scream from his throat as he covers his heating face. His voice is whiny as Jake and Sunoo get off the couch and crouch around him, Sunoo's cool hand moving the younger's off his face. "She kissed me goodnight."

"That's a big step for you, isn't it?" Jake teases, and Jungwon knows it's childlike but he kicks his feet petulantly anyway. Jake laughs, running his fingers through the younger's hair gently. "But a step in the right direction, Won. I'd say take it in stride." "I agree. I'd go as far as saying she's interested in you, too." Sunoo's voice has a lilt to it, before his fingers tilt Jungwon's face towards him. "Oh, and she has good taste. I got this lip gloss for my sister a few weeks ago, I think it's called Raspberry Swirl." Raspberry Swirl.

"You know that just by looking at it?" Jake ponders aloud, grabbing Jungwon's arm to pull him off the floor. Sunoo shrugs, mirroring Jake's actions and pulling Jungwon to his feet.

"I got the same one for you for Kazuha's birthday, didn't I? I know my shit." He scoffs, and Jungwon huffs as he tugs his jacket off.

"I can never wash my face. This has to stay here permanently." He hangs the jacket up on the rack, making Jake snort.

"Wash your face, you'll break out." He pats the younger's shoulder, who only shakes his head as he practically skips to his bedroom. The older men just snicker to themselves, opting to slump back onto the couch as they hear Jungwon squeal in his bedroom.

SUNDAY, 2:16PM.

"Hey, sorry I'm late." Jungwon watches you glance up, holding the door open for Jaehee to slip through. She gives him a curt nod, before turning her attention back to you. 

"Almost twenty minutes, Jaehee. I told you I had plans today." You say as you avert your gaze back to the textbook in front of you, your hand gripping a blue gel pen as you scribble onto a notebook. Jungwon steps in quietly, not bothering to announce himself as he stuffs his hands in his pockets and leans against Carousel A.

"I know, I'm sorry. I missed the bus twice, I practically ran here." She scoffs, tugging her scarf off and skirting behind the counter. You only move forward a bit, grimacing as you tuck the shop's business card into the textbook as a page holder before shutting it.

"Anything I need to know before you leave? Aside from the fact that I now have to cover Valentine's Day weekend because of the stupid bus driving past me twice. Twice, Y/N! " "Geez, good vibes all around!" You smile, grabbing your empty backpack off the chair and setting it on the counter to slide your textbooks into it. Jungwon pushes off the carousel, brows jumping as you finally make eye contact with him. You grin, shrugging your shoulders as he reaches for the strap of the bag. He tugs it over his shoulder, and Jaehee gives him an odd glance.

"Is he part of your plans?" She elbows you lightly, making you roll your eyes. He just clears his throat, looking away as he digs in his pocket for his keys. You move to count the money in the register for your deposit as Jaehee ties the apron around her waist, hopping out into the backroom for the restock cart.

"Oh, Jaehee! Carousel B kicked the bucket this morning. Birthday party came in, the dad couldn't control them and they broke several of the containers." You groan, closing your eyes as you thumb through the cash. Jaehee makes a disappointed noise, crossing her arms as she surveys the wrecked carousel. Jungwon glances over, and sure enough – there is broken hinges and cracked plastic all over the now wasted candy in the containers.

"So no chocolate almonds, no butterscotch bites…aw man, no caramel nonpareils?" She pouts, thumbing at the cracked plastic. You shake your head begrudgingly, Jungwon looking up at you as you once more scribble in fuschia Sharpie on the manila envelope before sliding it into the safe behind you. You pull your apron over your head and hang it up, sighing as you stretch and walk out from behind the counter.

You've got a nice pair of blue jeans on, held up by a black leather belt that matches the watch around your wrist. You paired it with a cream v-neck sweater and a pink turtleneck. A thin, silver chain hangs low on your chest, and he tries not to stare too hard as you take the claw clip out of your hair, letting it fall down your back. He can hear you saying your goodbye to Jaehee, but can't say anything as you loop your arm with his and pull him out of the shop.

"How's your birthday so far, Won? Anything you wanna talk about?" 

He clears his throat, "Uhm, it's okay. Jake and Sunoo kicked me out of the apartment early to decorate, so I haven't been home yet. Heeseung and Jay are my other friends, they took me to breakfast and our friend Riki was there with a bunch of prepared gifts…I don't know. It felt…" "Good? Nice? You feel loved?" You tease, your hand wrapped around his bicep squeezing slightly as he sighed shakily. "Sure, let's say that. They don't usually go all out, but I guess twenty-one is a milestone." He murmurs to himself, and you click your tongue. "Every year is a milestone, Won." You say as he opens the car door, holding it as you slide in. Your eyes are pointed, and he looks away as he shuts the door. He slides your bag into the back again, but he feels it lighter. "Not as many books today?" He asks as he slides into the driver's seat, and you shake your head.

"I have other plans. There's this guy, his birthday is today and he thought we'd be holed away studying all day. Can you believe that?" You're grinning widely as you buckle in your seat belt, and he scoffs. "Wow, what a guy." He turns the car on, and you cross your legs at the knee before humming.

"Can we make a stop at my apartment? To drop off the bag, and I have something for you." Jungwon almost chokes as he jolts the car to a stop at the light, your eyes wide as you slide forward a bit. He winces, "Sorry, sorry! You didn't have to get my anything, Y/N. Seriously." "Consider it to be one of the things you cherish. Our friendship, I mean." You say, adjusting the seat belt back on your chest as you snuggle back into the seat. Jungwon doesn't reply, cheeks far too hot in embarrassment to even speak.

The rest of the ride is silent, aside from your soft breathing and the clicking sound as you play with the buttons on the door. Jungwon pulls carefully into the West End parking garage, seeing Jay and Heeseung carefully walking out of the apartment entrance with a box held between the two of them. Riki and Sunghoon hold the door open, their own hands full of bags as Riki catches Jungwon's eye.

"Are those your friends? That guy is staring awfully hard." You murmur, peering at Sunghoon from your seat in his car. Jungwon scoffs, nodding.

"Yeah. Be sure to tell him he has a staring problem, that freak." He mutters, and you laugh softly as he puts the car in park, turning the motor off as Jay and Heeseung start bickering as they get closer to Jay's car. Jungwon opens the door to hear Jay telling Heeseung to walk slower.

"If we drop it, I'm kicking your ass right here." Jay huffs, and Heeseung only rolls his eyes as he stops when he sees Jungwon rounding the car to get your bag. They both watch him, Riki and Sunghoon bumping into Jay's back because they're also just watching like idiots.

"Do you guys need something?" Jungwon grumbles as he opens your door, not offering his hand this time. He doesn't notice your disappointment as you step out on your own, tucking your hair behind your ear as he shuts the door. "Nope, nothing at all, loverboy." Sunghoon pipes up, earning a choked laugh from Riki.  "Let the guy live." Jay announces, and Jungwon thanks the older boy with a tight smile, guiding you to the entrance. However, Jungwon should've known better – because Heeseung opens his big, fat mouth.

"Is that the girl?" He doesn't say it loud enough for it to be heard, but it's a parking garage – everything bounces off the wall like Jungwon's fist is going to bounce off Heeseung's face the next time he gets him alone. He doesn't say anything as your eyes widen, wincing as you both slip into the apartment entrance and walk to your apartment. You don't speak, only unhooking your carabiner from your belt loop and swinging the keys around your fingers. You unlock the door, allowing him in first before closing it behind you.

"They like to tease you, right? I've heard men are like that."

He rolls his eyes and nods, sliding your backpack onto the dining chair as you slip into your kitchen. "It's their favorite pastime. You'd think we'd bully the youngest together, but it's always me." He huffs, tonguing the ring in his lip as he leans over the back of the chair. You only laugh from the kitchen, and he hears you rustling around before your head pops out of the division.

"Close your eyes." "Y/N, I don't like surprises." "C'mon, Won! Close your eyes, I promise it's worth it."

He can't deny you, not when you're practically vibrating out of your skin and bouncing on your toes. He sighs, running a hand through his hair before closing his eyes. "Alright, alright." He hears you walk over to him, placing a cold box in his hands. His nose scrunches as he feels around it, feeling a ribbon tied in a knot at the top.

"Open your eyes."

It's a box of candy from your father's shop, tied in baby blue ribbon. Not just any box, though – it's the candy mix boxes your father makes by hand the day before the order is set to be picked up. He'd only ever seen people buy them for their significant others for holidays, or anniversaries…

Or birthdays.

"Happy birthday! I know it's not much, but I did stay up all Saturday with my dad making these. We even gave you some stuff we're thinking of introducing at the shop, like these chocolate coins. They have a raspberry swirl, you like that, right?" You tap the corner of the clear box, and he eyes it. He does, he loves anything like that.

"You packed this yourself?" He murmurs, untying the knot slowly. You nod.

"Uh-huh. So there is a method to it, the top row is all stuff I've seen you pick out. Raspberry sour belts, strawberry crème melts, caramel apple hard candy and a few cherry jelly beans. Second row is stuff I've recommended that you've liked, such as the chocolate almonds, pear saltwater taffy, the raspberry bubblegum and the caramel nonpareils you had for an entire week in July. This last row is all new stuff, so the raspberry chocolate coins, some heart-shaped cherry disks, a few blueberry yoghurt almonds and then I put a few peach-raspberry fusion rings here. My dad wasn't sure you'd like them but I said we should try anyway." He's staring at you as you explain, your manicured nail carefully tapping the case as you move across it. He can tell you feel his eyes on you, because you shift with uncertainty as you look up at him.

"So, uh…what do you think? Is it okay?" 

"Yeah, it's perfect, actually. Thank you, Y/N." He whispers, running his thumb over the shop's stamp on the box. You nod slowly, before he sets the box down on the table. "Uhm, are you ready? I'm sure the guys are waiting–" "Is there something wrong, Jungwon?" You ask gently, your eyes worried and probing as you look at him. They flit all over his face as you nibble on your lip, a habit that visits his mind at the most inopportune moments – when he's studying, when he's taking a test, when he's in the shower, for fuck's sake.

"I can't think when you do that, stop it." He admits, his cheeks heating as your eyes widen. He looks away as you seem to let the pieces connect in your mind, before he hears your voice in his ear. "So…you? Me? You like me?" You look down, picking at your nails. He scoffs.

"Yeah, I have for a while. I'm sorry. I should go." He runs his tongue over his teeth, before pushing off the back of your dining chair. He doesn't bother picking the candy box back up as he fumbles with his keys, before he feels your hand on his arm yanking him back. 

He doesn't have time to think, your face far too close to his as he stumbles back in front of you. He breathes out shakily, feeling your glossed lips ghosting over his own – the soft scent of raspberry floating up and clouding his senses.

He feels his entire body heat up as you kiss him softly, your hands moving to hold his face in your palms. He doesn't let the shock stop him from melting into you, his eyes fluttering shut as he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him. The taste of your lip gloss is seeping into his mouth as you nip at his lip ring, his hand moving the dining chairs out of the way to push you against the table. He lets you slip your tongue into his mouth as your hands move to fist his black hoodie, his own moving to your hips to lift you onto the table.

He settles between your legs, feeling your confidence grow hotter as you wrap your legs around his hips, pulling him closer. He can't help but groan softly into your mouth as one of your hands slides under his hoodie, the feeling of your skin against his bare torso almost enough to make him lose his mind. He pulls back slightly, your lips chasing after his as he shakes his head, resting his forehead against yours. Your eyes are shy as you look up at him, your hand beneath his sweater moving to toy with the belt loops on his black jeans. You can't hold eye contact for the first time since he's known you, clearing your throat as you look away.

"Sorry." You murmur, and he gently holds your jaw in his fingers, moving your head back to face him.

"Yeah? Sorry?" His lips brush over yours, and he feels your breath hitch in your chest as you resist the urge to connect your lips. "Sorry for what?" "If you're going to kiss me, you should just do it. I'm not going to object." You rush out, and he can't help but smile against your lips, earning a whine from your throat. "Jungwon!" "I'm right here, pretty. Not going anywhere." He presses a chaste kiss to your lips, before mumbling against them. "I like you a lot, Y/N." "I like you, too, Won. I've liked you for so long." 

He can feel your face grow warm under his fingertips, pressing another kiss to your lips. "How long?" "Three years." You murmur softly, and he can feel your lips jut into a pout against his as he smiles. "Why are you smiling!? As far as I know, you like me, too!" "Just because we're idiots." He shakes his head, pressing his lips to yours once, twice, three times. "So stupid, I should've kissed you then. Could've been mine ages ago."

He feels your thighs tighten around his hips, "Can be yours now, Won." "Yeah? Want to?" He runs his thumb over your lip, pressing down on it slightly as your eyes look up at him. You nod silently, making him sigh exaggeratedly. "Need words, pretty." "Wanna be yours." You're pouting, before your eyes widen and you pull back, poking a finger in his chest. "Not today, though, birthday and anniversary hybrids are tacky."  He rolls his eyes, resting his hands on the tops of your thighs. "Then, when?" "Before Valentine's Day, but after today. Tomorrow, even. I'll even allow midnight." You're trying hard to put on a serious face, your finger still pointed at his chest. He glances down at your watch, clicking his tongue.

"That's not for another nine hours, pretty." He taps the face of it, and you frown as you look down at it. 

"Okay yeah, but we have to go spend your birthday with your friends anyway." "I would honestly prefer to just spend it with you." "Jungwon." You roll your eyes as he plants a kiss on your cheek, before peppering his lips all over your face. "Jungwon!" "Nine hours is too long." He mumbles against your skin, feeling your hands tug at his hoodie. "I have all of Valentine's Day weekend off because Jaehee was late today. We can spend it together and do whatever you want to make up for these nine long, grueling hours of agony, my poor baby." You add a flair of sarcasm to your voice, but Jungwon doesn't care as he squeezes your thighs gently.

"Whatever I want?" He raises a brow, scanning your face as you roll your eyes.

"You're a pervert." "You like me." "I do, unfortunately." You sigh, pressing your lips into a firm line as you nod reluctantly. "Now get your hands off me and let's go. Your friends are going to be wondering where you are." "Are you sure I can't convince you to just stay here and kiss me until we die?" He grumbles, tracing circles into your thighs as you sigh, leaning back on your hands. "I'll make you a deal. I'll stay over at yours tonight instead. I don't have class tomorrow." You offer, and he glances up at you through his lashes. He holds out his pinky finger, seeing you bite back a smile as you link yours. "Alright." He tucks the box of candy under his arm as you hop off the table, smoothing your sweater and grabbing your keys. He confidently interlaces your fingers, pulling you through the complex and into the parking garage, and doesn't let go until he has to get into his seat. He watches you pull your lip gloss from your pocket and reapply it in his car mirror, Raspberry Swirl in big, pink font across the tube. He allows the teasing from his friends as he leads you into his decorated apartment by hand, your smile shy as he introduces you to everyone one by one. He allows the teasing as you gather around him with his friends to sing Happy Birthday, and he pouts when icing is smeared on his face by multiple hands – only to feel your lips against his the moment his friends slink out of the dining room to flop on the couch with their slices of cake. He allows the teasing as Sunghoon and Riki walk into the kitchen and see you wiping his face with a damp rag, his blushing cheeks hidden by your hands as you defend him.

He doesn't care about the comments his friends make under their breath when he pulls you into his lap during the movies they put on. He doesn't care when they mutter about him being whipped when he allows you to curl up in his embrace, your face buried in his neck as he traces circles into your hip. He doesn't care when they giggle at him as you whisper in his ear about whatever is going on in the movie, because he's not even watching – instead, focused on the incredible feeling of you so close to him.

He can't lie to himself, he tries to take his time opening the gifts after the films, asking questions and acting interested. He is interested, but his eyes keep flicking back to you sitting in the corner behind his gaggle of friends, just watching him with a fond smile and the same shimmer in your eyes that you have when you follow him around the shop. You actively engage his friends, answering their questions and playing into their jokes as he finishes the haul of gifts in front of him.

He rushes the goodbyes. He hugs his friends tightly for the first time in ages, thanking them for taking time out of their schedules and lives to spend his birthday with him. He feels his body fill with impatience as they take their time saying their goodbyes to you – but he feels it all slip away when Jake and Sunoo give him a knowing look, offering to clean up and that he should go ahead and walk you home, if he'd like.

He doesn't care about what their eyes say when he gently pulls you into his room, kissing you against the door. He holds himself back as you make it a point to move the two of you towards his bed, asking if you want to get into something more comfortable. His mind runs as you pull on a pair of his pajama pants, your top half covered by one of his old band shirts before you slide back into his bed with him, your thighs settled on either side of him as his fingers hold your hips flush to his. He lets you kiss him, bunching his shirt in your fists as his fingers breach the hem of your shirt, your skin warm to the touch.

He couldn't ask for anything better, even as he checks the clock and it reads ten minutes to midnight.

MONDAY, 12:00AM.

"Be my girlfriend."

"I don't even have a shirt on, Jungwon. You couldn't wait?" "No. Be my girlfriend, please. We can go on a date later."

You roll your eyes, "Okay, fine. I'll be your girlfriend."

"At least act like you like me, will you?" He scoffs, his teeth nipping at your belly. You jolt, swatting the top of his head with a scowl.

"I do like you! I'm literally your girlfriend!" You huff, and he can't help but smile into your skin, before moving back up to hover over you. He moves your hair off your face, before holding your chin in his fingers with a soft smile. "Stop looking at me like you want to eat me." "I can just eat you, instead." He presses a kiss to your lips, your arms moving to wrap loosely around his neck. He allows it, deepening the kiss and snaking his hand down to the waistband of your sweatpants, pulling the drawstring undone in one go. "Is that okay?" "Hurry up, boyfriend."

VALENTINE'S DAY, 4:32PM.

"Why baby blue?" You look up from your desk, seeing your boyfriend toying with a baby blue piece of ribbon from the shop. You'd stopped by the shop earlier that day because your father told you Jaehee was going to be late, and you went for an hour while she arrived. You'd brought Jungwon a bag of chocolate almonds and a singular piece of raspberry swirl bubblegum, one that he was blowing into a bubble now.

"Hm?" "The ribbon, babe. You never let me pick, you just use this color. Why?" You set your pen down, pursing your lips as you turn in your chair. He's got his textbooks laid out on the floor, sitting back on his hands as he looks up at you expectantly. You sigh, tapping your foot as you run a hand through your hair. "You came into the shop after you got your lip pierced during freshman year, and you got a bag of nothing but caramel apple suckers. You were wearing this baby blue sweater that said Girls Don't Cry in red thread across the front, and you were wearing that same sweater the first time we met. The color just reminds me of you, and I love that sweater on you." You shrug, watching as your boyfriend tongues the silver ring in his lip.

"You've never told me if you like it or not." He says pointedly, touching it lightly with his forefinger. You lean forward in your chair, your fingers gripping the edge of it as you smile.

"There's a lot of things I like about you, Won. I can definitely show you better than I can tell you, though." You wink, making his cheeks flush lightly. He doesn't respond, opting to look back down at his textbooks until you reach down and close one of them. He gapes up at you, but can't find the words to say anything as you slip off the chair, closing all of them one by one as you get closer to him. You push his knees down, opting to straddle him, his hands sliding up your thighs to rest on your hips.

"We need to study." He reminds you quietly, watching your face as you run your hands through his hair.

"Remember I said we could do whatever you want this weekend?" "...I feel like this is a trap." You laugh, pressing a soft kiss to his hairline. "No trap. Do you want to study?"

He sighs, plucking the hem of your shirt out from where it's tucked into your pants. He rests his forehead on your collarbone, groaning into your chest. "Y/N, I need to study."

"We can study later, baby." "But I'm a pervert, huh?" He scoffs, and you hold back your laughter in an attempt to seem upset.

"Fine. I'll just go back to ignoring you at my desk." 

You move to get off his lap, but he shakes his head, holding onto the hem of your shirt. "No need for all that, angel. Just get this off for me." "Pervert." "Oh, come on!"

BABEYUN © 2025. no translations, reposting or modifications are allowed. do not claim as your own. viewer discretion is advised. your media consumption is your responsibility.

[honeyhae-svt]

I luv the headcanons and would love my tiger kwon soonyoung PLEASE :))))

hoshi's headcanon when he falls for someone (you)

kwon soonyoung (hoshi) x gn!reader

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ tags / genre: hoshi x reader, seventeen fanfiction, lighthearted romance, playful banter, mutual pining, holiday vibes, cozy fluff, heartwarming moments, reader insert, wholesome love story, gentle humor, soft romance ੈ✩‧₊˚ warnings: n/a (just lots of giggles, flirty hoshi energy, warm hugs, and soft moments that make your heart flutter. mwahaha) ੈ✩‧₊˚ wc: 3443 ੈ♡ a/n: 3/13 ! (reqsts are open for the next member !). ILYSM ANON FOR REQUESTING A HOSHI ONEE ! i loved writing this one a little too much, i might've reached a word count of 10,000 + if my friend didn't stop me. ㅠㅅㅠ (p.s. im sorry. i forgot to post this.) ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Falling For U (Seventeen) ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮▮

ੈ♡˚ ༘ hoshi's headcanon when he falls for someone

when hoshi falls for someone, it's impossible for him to hide it. his feelings shine through in every interaction, whether it's the way he lights up when you walk into a room or the endless excuses he finds to spend time with you. his love is loud and vibrant, like him, but it's also layered with an unexpected softness that makes it all the more special.

he's the type to shower you with compliments, sometimes silly and sometimes sincere, just to see you smile. he'll call you "the most amazing person in the world" one minute and then jokingly ask if you're honored to have his attention the next. his playful nature is his way of keeping things light, but underneath, there's a deep sincerity. every teasing, every exaggerated gesture is hoshi's way of showing he cares.

you'll notice he goes out of his way to include you in his world—whether it's dragging you to try out something he's excited about or sharing random tiger facts (because, obviously, you need to know). he's full of energy, and he loves the idea of making you laugh or helping you forget a bad day. but when you're down, hoshi knows how to tone it down, offering you quiet support and reminding you he's there for you in the most heartfelt ways.

if he's jealous, it's not subtle. he'll pout and dramatically insist he's the best option for your attention, though he'd never make you feel uncomfortable. it's all in good fun—his way of showing that he cares deeply. when you reassure him, the grin that spreads across his face makes it clear he just wanted a little extra love from you.

hoshi's love language is loud, affectionate, and completely unfiltered. but when it's time for him to confess, you'll see a more vulnerable side of him. he'll still try to keep things light, stumbling over his words and making jokes to cover up his nerves, but the way his voice softens and his eyes meet yours will leave no doubt about how much he means every word.

with hoshi, falling in love isn't just a feeling—it's an experience. his love is like a sunrise, warm and full of energy, and once you're at the center of his world, you'll never doubt just how much you mean to him.

it was late, the soft hum of the night wrapping the room in a quiet stillness. hoshi sat on the couch, one leg tucked under him, a half-empty bowl of popcorn balanced on his lap. the tv was on, playing some rom-com neither of you had really been paying attention to. his eyes kept drifting to you, though you were too engrossed in your phone to notice.

you were sitting cross-legged on the floor, leaning against the couch, absentmindedly scrolling and laughing at something every now and then. hoshi couldn't help but smile, the kind of smile that stretched across his face before he even realized it.

"kwon soonyoung," you teased, breaking his trance. you twisted around to look up at him, eyebrows raised. "what's that look for? are you laughing at me?"

he blinked, caught off guard, before shaking his head with an exaggerated pout. "me? never! why would i laugh at you?"

"then what?" you pressed, squinting at him. "you've been weirdly quiet. it's suspicious."

hoshi leaned back into the couch, suddenly aware of how warm his ears felt. he reached for another handful of popcorn, buying time to figure out what to say. how was he supposed to tell you that he wasn't laughing at you, but that just looking at you made him feel all sorts of things he couldn't explain?

"i was just... thinking," he said vaguely, popping a piece of popcorn into his mouth.

you gave him a look, clearly unimpressed. "thinking about what? and don't say 'stuff.' i'm not letting you get away with that."

he groaned, dragging a hand down his face in mock defeat, though the smile tugging at his lips betrayed him. "fine, fine," he said dramatically, shifting forward to rest his elbows on his knees. "i was thinking about you."

your teasing expression faltered, replaced by a mix of surprise and curiosity. "me?"

hoshi nodded, suddenly feeling shy under your gaze. "yeah, you. don't make it weird." he tried to laugh it off, but his voice was softer than usual, giving him away.

you turned fully to face him, sitting up straighter. "what about me?"

he hesitated, his fingers playing with the edge of the popcorn bowl. "just... you. the way you're always making me laugh. the way you light up when you talk about things you love. the way you're you, i guess." his voice trailed off, and for once, he wasn't cracking a joke to deflect.

the room was quiet for a moment, the tv's background noise fading into the distance. when you didn't say anything, hoshi looked down, feeling like he'd just thrown his heart out into the open.

"soonyoung," you said softly, and he dared to glance up. the way you were looking at him—like he was the only thing in the room—made his breath catch.

"yeah?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

you smiled, that soft, genuine smile that always made his chest ache in the best way. "you know, you're not the only one who's been thinking about someone."

his eyes widened, and his mouth opened slightly as if to speak, but no words came out. instead, he just stared at you, waiting for you to say what he was too scared to believe.

"i like you too," you said, your voice shy but steady.

the grin that broke across hoshi's face was immediate, bright and full of relief. "really?" he blurted, leaning forward like he hadn't heard you properly.

you laughed, nodding. "yes, really. why do you look so surprised?"

"because i've been trying to figure out how to tell you for weeks!" he exclaimed, setting the popcorn aside and sliding down to sit on the floor beside you. "do you know how many times i almost said it and chickened out?"

"that sounds like you," you teased, nudging him with your shoulder.

he pouted, but the way his hand brushed against yours betrayed his excitement. "hey, i'm being vulnerable here. don't make fun of me."

you laughed again, your fingers intertwining with his. "alright, alright. no teasing. but for the record, i think you're pretty cute when you're nervous."

hoshi's cheeks turned pink, but he couldn't stop smiling. "you're gonna regret telling me that. i'll never let you live it down."

"i'm counting on it," you said, squeezing his hand.

and just like that, the tension melted away, replaced by the kind of warmth that made everything else feel insignificant. sitting there beside you, hoshi realized that for all the times he'd doubted himself, this—you—was worth it. every single second.

ੈ♡˚ ༘ kisses and cuddles with hoshi

soonyoung is naturally affectionate and playful, his love for physical closeness showing in every little touch. he's the type to make you laugh first before pulling you into a hug, his bright energy making the simplest moments feel full of life. but beneath all the teasing, he's incredibly thoughtful—his gestures always carrying a deeper, quieter kind of love.

it's in the way he bumps his shoulder against yours when you're sitting close, or the way his pinky hooks onto yours absentmindedly.he thrives on moments when your laugh echoes in the space between you two, his eyes crinkling with that signature grin as he watches you.

one night, you're both sprawled out on the living room floor, the remnants of a late-night snack scattered around you. you're trying to win an argument about who gets the last slice of pizza, and soonyoung is putting up a good fight, complete with dramatic gestures and exaggerated reasoning.

"fine," you finally concede, laughing as you push the plate toward him. "you win. but only because i'm too tired to argue."

he smirks, victorious, but instead of taking the pizza, he sets it aside and leans over, resting his chin on your shoulder. "you're too cute when you're pretending to be mad," he teases, his voice soft and warm.

you roll your eyes, but the way your cheeks flush doesn't go unnoticed. "you're lucky i like you," you mutter, and he grins wider, his hand brushing against yours as he settles beside you.

ੈ♡˚ ༘ the first kiss soonyoung's first kiss with you is every bit as spontaneous as he is, yet it feels perfect in the moment.

it happens during one of your usual late-night hangouts, walking aimlessly through quiet streets with the glow of streetlights guiding your way. you're both bundled up against the chilly air, sharing random stories and laughing at each other's terrible jokes.

at some point, he stops walking, grabbing your arm lightly to make you pause too. "wait," he says, his tone suddenly more serious. "i just thought of something."

you tilt your head, curious. "what is it?"

he looks at you for a moment, his expression softening. "if i don't do this now, i might chicken out later."

before you can ask what he means, he steps closer, his hand brushing against yours before cupping your cheek gently. there's a flicker of nervousness in his eyes, but it's overshadowed by the way he looks at you—like you're the only thing in the world that matters.

then he kisses you, his lips warm and soft against yours, the kind of kiss that feels like a question and an answer all at once. it's sweet, unhurried, and undeniably soonyoung—playful yet full of feeling.

when he pulls back, he's grinning, his cheeks tinged pink. "so... was that okay?" he asks, rubbing the back of his neck.

you laugh, still a little breathless. "yeah, it was okay," you tease, though the smile on your face says much more.

"good," he replies, his grin widening as he takes your hand in his, swinging it slightly as you both continue walking.

ੈ♡˚ ༘ cuddles with hoshi cuddling with soonyoung feels like being wrapped up in sunshine. he's the kind of person who makes every hug feel like a celebration, his energy and warmth impossible to resist.

it starts with him flopping onto the couch beside you, his head landing in your lap as he dramatically sighs about how tired he is. "you've been ignoring me all day," he whines, even if you've only been apart for an hour.

"have not," you counter, laughing as you absentmindedly run your fingers through his hair.

he hums in contentment, his arms wrapping around your waist. "this is all i needed," he murmurs, his voice muffled as he buries his face against your stomach.

on lazy mornings, he's the one to pull you back into bed, his arms tightening around you when you try to get up. "five more minutes," he mumbles, his voice still heavy with sleep. when you give in, he smiles triumphantly, pressing a kiss to your shoulder before settling back against you.

his favorite way to cuddle is when you're both lying on the couch, tangled together under a blanket. he loves resting his head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat as his fingers trace lazy patterns on your arm. every now and then, he'll look up at you with a soft smile, pressing a quick kiss to your chin or your cheek before snuggling closer.

sometimes, when he's feeling especially playful, he'll tickle you just to hear you laugh, only to pull you into a tighter hug afterward, his own laughter mixing with yours. "sorry, i couldn't help it," he says, though his grin tells you he's anything but.

with soonyoung, cuddling is more than just physical closeness—it's an extension of the way he loves. it's in the way he holds you like he's afraid to let go, in the way his presence makes every space feel a little brighter, and in the way he makes sure you always know just how much you mean to him.

┊ ➶ ｡✩‧₊˚ bonus

soonyoung has always been a bundle of energy, his personality larger than life and his affection boundless. but when it comes to the more intimate moments—the ones where the world seems to fall away and it's just the two of you—there's a quiet intensity to him that takes you by surprise every time.

it's late one evening when the two of you find yourselves curled up on the floor of his dance studio. the mirrors around you reflect the faint golden glow of the fairy lights he's strung up, the only illumination in the quiet space. he's lying on his side, his head propped up by his arm as he watches you flip through a playlist on his phone.

"that one," he murmurs, pointing lazily at a random song. but his attention isn't really on the music—it's on you. the way your face softens when you focus, the slight furrow in your brow that he wants to smooth away with his thumb.

you click on the song, the soft melody filling the studio, and set the phone aside. turning to him, you catch the way he's staring and feel your cheeks warm under his gaze. "what?" you ask, a small laugh escaping.

"you're just... really pretty," he says simply, his tone free of the usual teasing lilt. his honesty makes your heart skip, the sincerity in his eyes leaving you speechless.

you roll your eyes to hide the flutter in your chest. "don't start, hoshi."

"i'm serious," he replies, his voice quieter now. before you can deflect again, he leans in just a little, his hand reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. his fingertips linger for a second too long, the warmth of his touch spreading like fire under your skin.

the air between you shifts, and it's then you realize how close he's gotten. your breath catches as his thumb brushes against your cheek, his gaze dropping to your lips for the briefest moment before meeting your eyes again.

"can i kiss you?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper, as though he's afraid the moment will shatter if he speaks too loudly.

your heart is pounding, and you manage a small nod before he closes the space between you. the first press of his lips is soft, tentative—almost shy. it's a side of soonyoung you don't see often, and it makes the kiss all the more meaningful.

but he doesn't stay tentative for long. as soon as he feels you respond, his hand slips to the back of your neck, pulling you closer. the kiss deepens, his lips moving against yours with a quiet urgency, like he's trying to convey everything he feels in this one moment.

his other hand finds your waist, his grip firm but gentle, grounding you as the world spins around you. he kisses you like he's trying to memorize every detail—the way your lips move against his, the soft hum you make in the back of your throat, the way your fingers curl into the fabric of his shirt.

when he finally pulls back, you're both breathless. his forehead rests against yours, his eyes still closed as he takes a moment to steady himself. "wow," he says softly, his lips curving into a small, almost dazed smile. "you're really good at that."

you laugh, the sound light and a little giddy. "you're not so bad yourself."

but he's not done. before you can say anything else, he's pulling you in for another kiss, this one less careful and more confident. his hand slides up your back, his fingers tangling in your hair as he tilts his head to deepen the kiss. there's a hunger to it now, a raw intensity that makes your knees weak, even though you're already sitting.

and soonyoung? he's completely lost in you. every kiss feels like a dance, his rhythm perfect as he draws you in and leaves you wanting more. his lips trail down to your jaw, his breath warm against your skin as he murmurs your name like it's the only thing that matters.

when he finally pulls away for the second time, he's grinning—his signature, boyish smile that makes your heart melt. "okay," he says, his voice playful but still tinged with that lingering softness. "now i'm definitely never letting you go."

and you believe him. because in moments like this—with the world quiet and his arms around you—it feels like you've found something worth holding onto forever.

⊹˚. what exactly are you to hoshi?

to hoshi, you're the spark in his world—the excitement he didn't know he needed and the calm he secretly craves. you're his muse, his confidant, and the one person who can match his energy without even trying. you're his sunshine on chaotic days, the person who laughs at his jokes (even the terrible ones), and the one he trusts with the parts of himself he doesn't show to everyone.

to him, you're not just special—you're irreplaceable.

⊹˚. how hoshi falls for you

hoshi falls for you like a whirlwind—fast, fun, and a little overwhelming. he doesn't realize it at first because he's too busy enjoying the moments he shares with you, whether it's your teasing banter, your shared adventures, or the way you somehow always manage to make his day better.

he falls for the way you light up a room, your unfiltered honesty, and the way you cheer him on—even when he's being extra.

for hoshi, it's not just one moment; it's a series of moments that stack up until he can't ignore how much you mean to him anymore. maybe it's the way you dance with him without hesitation, how you match his energy during the most ridiculous moments, or the way you just listen when he opens up about his dreams and fears.

example: it's late one night, and you're both sitting on a rooftop, eating convenience store snacks and laughing over nothing in particular. the city lights stretch out below you, and for a moment, hoshi glances at you as you talk about something random. your eyes shine, your laugh carries through the night, and his heart just stops. that's when it hits him: this is my person.

when hoshi confesses, it's going to be bold, a little chaotic, but so him. he might try to plan something elaborate—like a dance routine or a surprise party—but it'll probably go hilariously wrong, and he'll end up blurting it out in the middle of a laugh.

"okay, wait, i can't keep this in anymore!" he'll say, running a hand through his hair as his cheeks turn pink. "i really like you. like, a lot. and i know this might sound crazy, but... will you be my tiger?"

(ㅅ' ˘ )♡ when hoshi loves, it's big, bold, and unrelenting. he loves with his whole heart, making you feel like you're the most important person in his universe. he's the type to hype you up constantly—whether it's about how amazing you look, how talented you are, or how lucky he is to have you.

he's always planning little surprises to make you smile, whether it's showing up at your door with your favorite snacks or dragging you out for a spontaneous adventure just because he wants to see you laugh.

he leaves sticky notes in random places for you to find, each one with something sweet or funny: "did you know you're amazing? because you are!" or "you're cuter than a tiger cub. don't fight me on this."

hoshi's love is physical and affectionate—he's always pulling you into hugs, holding your hand, or squishing your cheeks. he thrives on closeness, always looking for excuses to be near you, whether it's leaning against you during movie night or intertwining his fingers with yours during a quiet moment.

when he kisses you, it's playful at first—soft pecks that turn into giggles—but when he really leans in, it's deep and meaningful, like he's trying to convey just how much you mean to him without saying a word.

and when you're upset, hoshi is your biggest cheerleader. he'll do everything in his power to make you smile again, even if it means acting like a complete dork just to hear you laugh. but he also knows when to be serious, offering quiet comfort and unwavering support when you need it most.

his love is an endless burst of energy, but it's also steady and grounding, reminding you every day that you're his favorite person in the whole world.

with hoshi, love feels like the perfect mix of adventure and home—wild, fun, and exactly where you belong.

a/n: i hope you guys enjoyed because i definitely did, myself. i love hoshi so much i think i love him a little too much and he's so cute i will die for him. idk what to say because writing this, i was 3 bottles drunk and i immediately sobered up thinking what hoshi might be. (i proofread this over and over again and honestly, im so proud of finally finishing this). i might make another hoshi fanfic soon. please, mom, i want himmmmm

[billiesbabygirleilish]

Billie and the reader have been friends since childhood and Billie has a huge Crush on the reader but the reader has a boyfriend her boyfriend is like super possessive and abusive like won’t really let the reader go anywhere without him and doesn’t like when the reader hangs out with Billie because he know that Billie likes the reader

Billie and her family/friends know that the reader is being abused but every time that try to talk to the reader she always brush it off and tells that they are over reacting and she’s fine one day the reader is hanging out with Billie while her boyfriend is out boyfriend come home and see Billie after Billie leaves the reader and her boyfriend get into a fight the reader the reader ends up going to Billie

I don’t know how to end this but Billie and the reader end up together

Fractured Love

⚠️Mentions of abuse/abusive relationship. Please don’t interact with this post if these themes make you uncomfortable⚠️

╭.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*╮

╰.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*╯ The scent of lavender and old books always calmed you. Billie’s childhood bedroom, with its mismatched posters and overflowing bookshelves, was your safe haven. You stretched out on her bed, absently tracing the pattern on the worn quilt while Billie fiddled with her ukulele in the corner. 

“He’s out of town for the weekend,” you said, trying to sound casual, but the tightness in your chest betrayed you. “Said he had to… help his dad with something.”

Billie strummed a discordant chord. "Right. ‘Help his dad.’ Like he ever does anything remotely helpful." She didn’t look up, but you knew what she was thinking. You knew everyone knew. The strained smiles, the subtle glances, the way Maggie hovered a little too close whenever Liam, your boyfriend, was around – it was all a silent testament to what they saw happening to you.

“He just gets… jealous,” you mumbled, twisting a stray thread on the quilt. “He just cares about me.”

Billie’s head snapped up, her blue eyes flashing. “Caring doesn’t look like telling you who you can and can’t see, who you can and can't talk to. Caring doesn't look like…” she trailed off, her jaw clenched.

You rushed to fill the uncomfortable silence. "It's not that bad, Billie. You guys are just overreacting." You forced a laugh, though your voice wobbled. “I’m fine.”

Billie slammed the ukulele down on the floor, the sound reverberating through the small room. "God, why do you do this? We just want you safe! He’s isolating you, (Your name), are you blind?"

You flinched. “Don’t yell,” you whispered, your voice catching.

Billie’s anger deflated, replaced by a deep, aching worry. She sat beside you on the bed, her hand hovering over yours. She didn't touch you. Not anymore. Not since Liam had made his feelings about your friendship with Billie crystal clear, with words that still echoed in your head.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "Just… I hate seeing him control you like this. You’re not fine. You haven’t been fine for months." Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a small, smooth stone, a piece of sea glass she'd found on the beach. "I… I brought this for you. Said it reminded me of your eyes."

You took the sea glass, its cool surface soothing against your palm. "Thank you, Billie."

Later that afternoon, Billie walked you to your door. As you were unlocking it, Liam’s car pulled up to the curb. He’d come home early.

“Hey,” he said, his voice clipped. He glared at Billie as he approached. “What’s she doing here?”

“Just… hanging out,” you stammered.

“She knows you’re busy. She knows you’re with me.” His eyes narrowed. “Does she even have any respect?”

Billie’s jaw tightened. "I was just leaving," she said, her voice even, but you could see the tension in her shoulders.

As Billie turned and walked away, Liam grabbed your arm, yanking you inside the apartment. The door slammed shut behind you. It wasn't the first time you had been dragged inside. It wasn't the only form of abuse you had endured from him.

The argument started small, a simmering resentment bubbling to the surface. But it quickly escalated, his words sharp and cruel, his grip on your arm painful. You tried to reason with him, to appease him, but nothing worked. He accused you of lying, of flirting, of… who knew what else. Your voice rose as you fought back, tears streaming down your face.

"Just leave me alone!" you finally screamed, pushing him away.

He recoiled, his face contorted with a rage that frightened you. "You think anyone else will want you? You think Billie gives a damn about you? She's just… using you. Playing you for a fool."

The words cut deep, even though you knew they weren't true. The anger drained out of you, leaving you hollow and trembling. You couldn't breathe.

"I'm going to be sick," you choked out, pushing past him.

He let you go, and you stumbled out of the apartment, running blindly until you reached the familiar haven of Billie’s house.

You pounded on the door, tears streaming down your face. Maggie opened it, her expression immediately softening when she saw you.

"Oh, honey," she murmured, drawing you into a hug. "Come in, come in."

She led you to the living room, where Billie, Patrick, Finneas, and Claudia sat, their faces etched with concern. You collapsed on the couch, sobbing uncontrollably.

Billie knelt beside you, her hand finally finding yours. Her touch was grounding, a lifeline in the storm. "What happened?" she asked softly, her voice laced with worry.

You told them everything. The possessive control, the constant criticism, the outbursts, the fear that had become your constant companion. You spoke through sobs, the words tumbling out in a torrent of pain and relief.

When you were finally done, the room was silent. Finneas squeezed Claudia's hand, his face dark. Patrick just nodded, his eyes filled with a quiet fury. Maggie sat beside you, stroking your hair.

Billie’s grip on your hand tightened. “You don’t have to go back there, you know.”

You looked at her, your eyes red and swollen. “But… where else would I go?”

Billie hesitated for a moment, then met your gaze with unwavering intensity. "You can stay here. With us. We'll protect you."

The offer hung in the air, a glimmer of hope in the darkness. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once. Leaving Liam meant stepping into the unknown, but staying meant… more of the same.

"Okay," you whispered, your voice barely audible. "Okay, I'll stay."

The next few weeks were a blur of healing. Maggie’s gentle care, Patrick’s quiet strength, Finneas and Claudia’s unwavering support – they all helped you piece yourself back together. You started therapy, learning to recognize the signs of abuse and to rebuild your shattered self-esteem.

But it was Billie who made the biggest difference. She was there for you, always, a constant presence in your life. Late-night talks under the stars, walks along the beach, quiet moments spent reading together in her room – she created a safe space for you to be yourself, to laugh, to cry, to simply exist without fear.

One evening, as you sat on Billie’s bed, listening to her strum a new song on her ukulele, you realized something had shifted. The fear was still there, a lingering shadow, but it was no longer the defining force in your life. You were starting to see yourself again, to remember the person you were before Liam had chipped away at your spirit.

Billie finished the song, a soft melody with heartfelt lyrics about resilience and hope. She looked at you, her blue eyes filled with something that made your heart skip a beat.

"Do you… do you feel safe here?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.

You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. "More than I've ever felt."

She reached out, gently cupping your cheek. "Me too," she whispered, her gaze locked on yours.

And then, she leaned in and kissed you. It was a soft, tentative kiss at first, but it quickly deepened, a rush of long-suppressed feelings finally breaking free. It was a kiss of comfort, of safety, of longing, of hope.

When you finally broke apart, breathless and trembling, you looked at Billie, and for the first time in a long time, you saw a future. A future free from fear, a future filled with love, a future where you could be yourself, completely and unapologetically.

It wasn’t a fairytale ending. There would still be challenges, still be healing to do. But you knew, with a certainty that settled deep in your soul, that you weren't alone anymore. You had Billie, her family, her friends - a whole world of love and support to guide you. And you knew, with equal certainty, that you were finally on the path to a life that was truly your own.

[trippiexlove]

Heart of a Woman

Author Note: Based on the song Heart of A Woman by Summer Walker. Y'all chose it! I hope you enjoy. If you want to leave a song request for a one shot please comment on this post. Check out my master list for other one shots / stories.

Warning: Smut, Angst, P in V, Oral (f! receiving), Profanity, Praise, Toxic Relationship

Pairing: Zilla Fatu x Black OC

Word Count: 3,210

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Only thing that saving you...

Is a Heart of a Woman…

Indya leaned over the large island in the kitchen of the house she shared with her boyfriend of three years, Isayah. 

Pissed wasn't even the word. She was livid. 

Moments ago she received a random message from an unknown number. It was a message every woman dreads to get. 

A coming to you as a woman message. 

Normally she would ignore it, majority of the time it was just women trying to ruin their relationship. She knew how popular Isayah has become in the last year. His wrestling career really taking off this past year. She knew groupies came with this lifestyle. She had trusted him. But this was a constant cycle they went through. 

But this message was different. It had actual concrete proof. Pictures, screenshots and screen recordings of multiple messages and FaceTime calls.

She couldn't help but to feel the hurt and betrayal. Most of all she was more upset with herself. Knowing that this wasn't the first time, but continuously keep giving him second chances. 

She was so focused on the messages. Continuously scrolling through them, in denial, trying to find something that didn't make this true. The more she kept looking it the more she became upset. Indya was so focused on the messages until the familiar ringtone, signaling an incoming FaceTime from Isayah, came to her phone.  

When she answered the phone she could see he was outside somewhere. Seem like he was talking to someone beside before his focus turned to the phone. "What's up ma, you good?"

"I'm coo'" she was very short with him. Her attitude evident as he furrowed his brows together. She walked into the living room, propping the phone on the table before sitting on the couch. 

Isayah could sense her energy through the phone. "You sure? Yo' tone says otherwise" concern laced in his voice. 

"Who's Erica?" She didn't waste any time, crossing her arms waiting for an answer. 

Isayah scrunched up his eyebrow, a look of confusion on his face "What'chu talkin' about?"

She rolled her eyes before continuing to speak. "I won't ask again Isayah," she stated pointedly "who is Erica?"

He looked away briefly before looking down into the phone "I don't know what'chu talkin' bout Indy"

"So we're going down the route of acting like we're dumb" she nodded her head. She grabbed her phone off the table, going to the message thread. Once she pulled it up she sent all the messages and screen recordings to him. 

Isayah phone dinged from the other end. She watched his face as he read through the messages. He kissed his teeth, exiting out the thread. "Indya that's someone I used to deal with a long time ago. Haven't seen that girl in years"

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" Indya frowned. "You must take me as a dumb bitch if you think I'ma just let you sit here and lie to me when there's fucking proof!" she raised her voice. Getting more and more upset. 

"You just gon' believe her over what I'm tellin' you. I'm yo' man right?" Isayah voice rising with every word. 

"Are you my man though?" Indya lifted an eyebrow. She stared right back at him as he shot dagger through the screen. 

"Indya, stop fuckin' playin' with me. I told you I ain't seen that girl in years, the fuck you trippin' for?" Indya was token back from his words, before nodding her head.

"You know what since you wanna play dumb, I'll act fucking stupid. Go be with that bitch and stay the fuck away from me. You're single, fuck you!" Indya hung up before he could get another word in. She threw her phone down, before placing her head in her hands. She felt the tears that have been threatening to fall for a while. The constant ringing of her phone, as Isayah kept calling and texting, sounded throughout the living room. 

After a while, she wiped her eyes before grabbing her phone and blocking his number. Heading upstairs to sleep the night off. 

[Few Days Later]

Indya was out on a girl's day with her best friends, Sabrina and Tara. They got her out the house to take her mind off the fight she had a few days ago with Isayah. Refusing to let their friend to wallow in her feelings. 

They spent the day shopping, getting their nails done, and were currently at their favorite restaurant to have lunch. 

After placing their order with their server, Sabrina looked over at Indya. "We've been avoiding this conversation all day, but I think it's time to address it" Tara nodded knowing what Sabrina was getting into. "How are you feeling Indy?"

Indya sighed, throwing her head back slightly "I think I am just more mad at myself for continuing to keep taking him back."

"You can't be upset with yourself about that," Tara grabbed Indya's hand "It is not your fault that he can't grow up and see what an amazing woman he has and to treat you accordingly"

Sabrina nodded in agreement before adding in her two cents "You have been nothing but great towards him and will literally drop everything just to make sure he's ok. We all make mistakes but it's just how we learn from it"

Indya nodded. Taking in her best friends words. "It's just so hard because I really do love him." she sniffled a bit, wiping the tear that fell. 

"We understand girl," Tara sympathize with her best friend "but sometimes love isn't worth the hurt he's causing you" 

"What do you plan on doing now?" Sabrina asked as she leaned back in her chair. 

Indya sat in silence for a moment, she knew what she had to do. The decision didn't come so lightly "I'm done and forreal this time. I can't keep doing this"

"We your girls, we love you and will support you" Sabrina smiled grabbing her other hand. Tara nodding in agreement.

Indya blinked back more tears smiling at both her best friends. Truly appreciative of them. "Thanks I love y'all"

Soon the server brought over their food and the conversation shifted to something lighter. For the first time in a last few days Indya felt a weight lifted off her shoulders. Forgetting about the drama and enjoying the rest of the time with her best friends.

They paid the bill once they were done. Hopping into Sabrina's car, she started heading towards Indya's house. When the pulled up Indya sighed when she noticed Isayah's car in the driveway. 

He was back after being gone for a week due to having shows and appearances. Sabrina looked over at Indya, a certain look in her eye. "Do you need us to come in with you?"

Indya shook her head as she grabbed her keys out her purse "It's fine"

"You sure?" Tara leaned up from the front seat "We can just go in and beat his ass real quick and get your stuff"

Indya softly laughed at her friends "I promise I'll be fine. I'll text y'all"

"Ok," Sabrina said unsure "you better text us"

Indya promised she would text them as she got out, Tara taking her place in the passenger seat. She waved bye to them before walking up to the front door. She blew out a breathe before unlocking the door going inside. 

When she walked in Isayah was standing in the middle of the living room. She turned to the door locking it. 

"Where you been?" Isayah questioned, watching her every movement. Indya ignored him, throwing her keys in the bowl by the door. Walking right by him. He furrowed his eye brow as he watched her walk towards the stairs.

With quick movements he grabbed upper arm, making her turn towards him. "You hear me talkin' to you" 

"Unless you're here to admit to what the fuck you did, we don't have shit to talk about" she tried ripping her arm away from him. This caused him to grip tighter. 

"I keep telling' yo' ass that ain't shit happen between me and that girl" His frown deepened looking her dead in the eyes. 

"She literally sent me screenshots of y'all messages!" Indya felt her temper slowly increase the longer he held her arm. She was beginning to become frustrated.

"Her ass could've faked those messages and yo' goofy ass sitting here believin' them!" He raised his voice slightly. 

Indya widen her eyes in shock. In disbelief of what he said. She pushed on his chest, finally releasing herself from his grip. "Explain the pictures and videos of y'all on FaceTime then Isayah! Do you think I'm dumb?!"

"Indya tread lightly on how you speakin' to me. This is your warnin'" He squinted his eyes her direction. This only fueled the petty side of her. No longer caring how she was making him feel. 

"I don't give a fuck, you ain't scaring shit over here. You can go be with that bitch and y'all both can be hoes together!" She turned to go up the stairs, but before she could, she was pulled back. 

Isayah wrapped a hand around the based of her throat, pulled her close which made her look up his towering frame. She slightly shuddered at the the look in his eyes. His eyes going completely dark, a mix of anger and lust lingering inside them.

"I done let'chu get fly at the mouth one too many times. Now it's time for you to listen to me" Indya was getting upset with herself for just how quick she submits to him. Knowing that this was the issue in the ever ending cycle of their relationship. 

First their good, then she catches him cheating, he uses his manipulative ways, he dicks her down and then the cycle starts over. 

He could see the wheels turning in her head. Knowing she was going to try to resist he quickly scooped her up, making his way up the stairs to their shared room. 

He plopped her on the bed, hovering over her. Placing both hands on the sides of her head. He leaned down placing kisses along her neck and behind her ear. 

Indya didn't want to fall into the same old pattern again. She took her hands, pushing against his chest. "Isayah we can-" her breathe hitched as he sucked on the spot right below her ear. 

Surely leaving a mark, he took one of his hands trialing down her sides til he reached the hem of the shorts she was wearing. His hands found their way in, brushing against her wet folds. 

Indya softly moaned, arching more into his touch. He entered one finger in her, groaning at how wet and tight she was. He leaned up to look her in the eyes, entering another finger. Indya moaning out as he quickened his movements. 

"What were you sayin' baby?" Indya couldn't make up any coherent sentences, as her core tightened. "You want me to stop?" When he didn't get a response he slowed down "Do you want me to stop?" his voice deepened. Indya eyes popped open looking at him.

She whined as she moved her hips, desperate for any type of friction. Isayah took his other hand, placing them on her hips to still her movements. "No I don't want you to stop" completely submitting to him.

Satisfied with her answer he pulled her shorts and underwear off, leaving her lower half completely bare. He removed his shirt, throwing it across the room.

He left wet kisses trailing down her chest and stomach til he was leveled with her intimate area. 

He skipped all the teasing, quickly latching on to her sensitive bundle on nerves, switching from flicking his tongue across it and slightly sucking on it. His fingers entered her once more. 

Indya loudly moaned at the double stimulation. She grabbed at the sheets on the bed, trying to ground herself. "F-fuck Isayah .. I'm cumming" 

Isayah sped up the strokes of his fingers. Hitting her spot continuously, Indya reaching her climax soon afterwards. 

Isayah sat up, cupping her chin with his hands "open up for me baby" Indya stuck out her tongue, knowing exactly what he wanted. He stuck his fingers in her mouth, letting her lick off all her juices off his fingers. Once she was done he brought her into a searing kiss, tasting her sweet essence. 

He pulled away looking her deep in her eyes. "Face down. Ass up. You better arch how I like it"  he stated in a commanding tone.

Indya wasted time doing exactly what he said. Arching her back just how he liked. Isayah let out a groan of approval, sending a smack to her backside. 

As Indya waiting in anticipation, she heard the soft sound of a zipper, as Isayah shredded the last bit of clothing, coming up right behind her. She felt Isayah glide the tip between her wet folds. 

He slowly pushed in, Indya moaning out as he stretched her out. He stilled for few moments to allow her time to adjust. "Fuck, you're so tight for me ma" 

Craving more, Indya moved her hips back. Isayah taking it as a sign, picking up his rhythm quickly. Indya screamed out as he practically fucked her into the bed. 

She brought her back against his abdomen, trying to slow him down. He quickly grabbed her wrist, pinning it against her back. "Ain't no running. You been talkin' yo' shit, talk it now" 

Indya couldn't think, her brain clouded by the immense pleasure he was giving her. 

"I-Isayah I can't!" she moaned out loud. Feeling that familiar burn in the pit of her stomach. 

"Shut the fuck up and take it. This what'chu wanted right" Indya moaned loudly, Isayah groaned as he felt her clench around his length. He knew she was getting close and stopped all movements causing Indya to whimper. "You don't get to cum til I tell you to"

Isayah grabbed her other arm, holding both in one hand. He rammed back into her, causing Indya to gasp loudly. Isayah's strokes were relentless. 

The only sounds throughout the room were their skin slapping together, "Fuck, look at'chu takin' it for daddy so well" He sent a smack to her backside, Indya moaning at the stinging sensation. 

"Baby I can't hold it," she let out a breathy moan, her climax being so close "I need to cum please" she begged desperately. 

Once again Isayah stopped his strokes abruptly, pulling out of her. He laid down, pulling her on top of him. "You want yo' nut, you gotta earn it" 

Indya straddled his waist, reaching back grabbing a whole of his length. She slowly slid down, both groaning at the contact. He took a hold of her hips, bringing her down more, engulfing all of him.  "S-shit"

Indya placed one hand on his chest as she slowly went up and down. She moaned at the new angle she was in. Isayah hitting a new spot. Indya threw her head back as she picked up the pace. 

"Who pussy is it" Isayah wrapped his hand around her throat "hmm, tell daddy who pussy this is"

Indya gasped, feeling that burn in the stomach "Fuck daddy it's yours"

She rotated her hips, earning a deep guttural groan from Isayah. "Fuck, you ain't leaving' me." He moaned out again, feeling his release brewing "Damn, you feel so good baby keep it right there." 

She smiled inwardly. Feeling a little motivated sped up her movement, the grip he had on her hips tightened. "Isayah I'm cumming" she whined out. 

Isayah felt her movements slow down, he sent another smack to her backside causing her to whimper. "Keep goin' and you better not fuckin' stop, daddy cummin' wit'chu" 

With his hands wrapped around her waist he assisted by moving her faster up and down. Indya let out a drawn out moan as she released.

Her released triggering Isayah's own, pulling her into a searing kiss as they both came down from their euphoric high. 

Indya woke up, feeling extremely groggy and sore from the events earlier. She groaned as she turned over, seeing Isayah still sleep. She heart feeling heavy, remembering everything that happened. 

She reached for her phone seeing she had multiple missed calls and messages from Sabrina and Tara. 

Bri🔥: Indya are you good? Bri🔥: I swear if something happened I will sliced tf out of that big ass Samoan idc Tara❤️: Girl you need to call us back. Tara❤️: Bri is going crazy over here. You better call soon or we're pulling up.

Indya quickly texted them both back, telling them that she was ok and that she would explain in a little bit. She noticed it was a quarter after midnight. She quickly but quietly got up, throwing her clothes from earlier back on. 

When she looked back at Isayah, she felt rage start to build inside of her. Many thoughts were going through her mind. Then an idea clicked. She acted quickly, going into the closet and started grabbing his clothes. 

She moved quietly, not wanting to wake him up. She walked outside going over to Isayah's Mercedes, stuffing the clothes in there. She repeated this process about 3 more times. She grabbed the keys, backing the car away from the house. 

She went back inside grabbing the bags she had already packed, putting them in her car. Turning towards Isaiah's car once more, she took a lighter out of her pocket, flicking it on. 

She hovered the flame over a piece of clothing til it caught the flame. Quickly spreading to other article of clothing. 

Indya stood there for a moment, staring at the flame. Feeling it burn away all the hurt Isayah has cause her, feeling a sense of calm. She was quickly token out of her trance when she heard noise come from the house. Knowing it was Isayah coming, she quickly got in her car, starting it. 

When she started backing up she saw him run out the house with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. 

He saw his car in-flamed, his eyes widening in shock and rage "Indya what the fuck?!"

"Have fun with that bitch!" She quickly pulled off as he tried running towards the car. 

Indya couldn't help but laugh but also cry as she felt the overwhelming feeling of freedom and her shoulders feeling lighter. 

She didn't know how she did it but she found herself pulling in to Sabrina's house. Grabbing her things, she walked up the short walk way, knocking on the door. 

The wait wasn't long, as Sabrina quickly opened up the door, staring at her friend. Eyes drifting to the bags beside her. Without saying a word she grabbed a bag, leading Indya in the house and to the guest bedroom. 

She turned towards Indya, stood in the middle of the room. Silently crying. She brought her into hug as Indya began sobbing on her shoulder. 

"I am here for you. I am so proud of you, finally choosing yourself" She let her cry on her shoulder for a while til she stopped. She pulled out the hug, wiping her friend's tears. "Get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning" leaving the room. 

Indya sighed, going into one of the bags, changing into a pajama set. She crawled in the bed, engulfing herself with the pillows and blankets, sleep finding her quickly. 

[honeysorwell]

a ring and the (Super Bowl's) ring

pairing: Restaurant!AU Melissa Schemmenti x fem!Reader

Super Bawl's prompt by anon + Valentine's Day idea by me.

Synopsis: When the chef and owner of the traditional Italian Restaurant Schemmenti’s Cucina says that she will never get married again, few people really understand and respect her. Y/N is not only one of the people who understands her, but she is also the one who matters the most to Melissa. And the ring she gave the redhead on Valentine’s Day is just a bonus.

Tag list: @janeyseymour @italianaidiota @chloeelou02x (I tagged you all because you are all on my tag list for my other Melissa's fanfic, so since this is also a fanfic for Mel here you are!) (and if you want to be tagged too just let me know.)

Warning (for Melissa mainly): marriage proposal!!!

Words: 2,3k

Synopsis of the story + Chapter 1 + Chapter 2

Link on AO3

The inspiration for this is also the fact that: no one writes AUs for Melissa even tho our lady has a lot of potential for AUs thanks to how many interests she genuinely has; the fact that she thought Gary was buying her a replica of a Super Bowl ring; no one writes fanfics about Melissa finding someone who genuinely accepts that she doesn't want to get married at all and is happy with her just like that; and Valentine's Day is just around the corner;

and yes! part two will be posted tomorrow, because I wrote two parts (one where the Eagles win and one where they lose) so just stay tuned for the game hahaha… (I won't be tho, and that's why I'll only post this part two tomorrow.)

Enjoy!

“Chef! Chef!”, the young waiter called loudly as he entered the kitchen looking for the red-haired woman, keeping a smart distance from Melissa when he found her amidst the chaos of the pens in the hot stove where she was browning some onions.

The kitchen that the redhead had dedicated her time, heart, and soul to, and that until seconds ago was vibrating with the nervous energy of the orders in her restaurant but that now stopped completely, was just taken over by the nervousness that transformed the energy there into a pressure cooker ready to explode.

Although she was in her element, Melissa found it strange that her waiter had called her directly, and her restless feeling was, justifiably, mirrored by all her workers. Some dish was wrong? Was the poor waiter there to inform her of a client's complaint?

"Yes, kid?"

“The table reserved for a party of 20 in the center of the restaurant! They’re here and they’re asking for you.”, the waiter, whose name she refuses to remember since they always give up, smiles at her as he explains, so the redhead imagines that no one was exactly asking to talk to her because of a bad thing, “Oh... And the guy with the mustache told you to take off your apron before talking to them.”

It wasn’t common for Melissa Schemmenti (the talented chef and owner of the traditional Italian Restaurant Schemmenti’s Cucina, who delighted the clientele with her dishes every day) to leave the kitchen to greet ordinary customers. Only the most famous, or food critics, or those really kind people who waited until the restaurant closed had the privilege of meeting her, but when she looked out the kitchen window in search of who was sitting at that prominent table in the middle of the restaurant, a sweet smile painted her lips when she saw all those sitting there.

Her family is there.

At least a good part of it.

Her mother, Marie, Mary Camille, Maria Cristina, boy Tony and John Anthony are all looking at her expectantly as she goes out of the kitchen to stand next to Gary. It's rare to see her siblings looking at her with such happiness, and for just a second Melissa wonders if she's forgotten something important.

Looking closer, the redhead notices that even two of her cousins ​​are there. Rocco, with his wife and two children, and Annette with her husband. Wow.

But, some part of the table was empty and the redhead couldn't be more confused to notice that three of her siblings are not there – Seamus, Toni and Kristen Marie – but as she approached the table in question, the thought just slipped from her mind. After all, not even she knew why they were there so maybe it wasn't that important.

"You know you don't have to book a table when you come here, right? Especially when all these parasites are here almost daily.” Greetings and complaints begin to sound throughout the table instigated by her arrival, but the talented chef of Schemmenti’s Cucina just ignores everyone’s words with a smile, placing a loving kiss on her boyfriend’s lips before reprimanding him affectionately, “You just need to show up here and we’ll find a table for you, Gary.”

“I know.”, the man in question says, delighted with the fact that even on a busy Tuesday night for the restaurant, Melissa still looked as beautiful as on her days off, “But I wanted this one today.”

Before the redhead has time to question him why, Gary stands up from their table with a nervous smile, gently tapping the inside pocket of his leather jacket that held a small velvet box, not wanting to draw Melissa’s attention to it after all, he was just checking to see if the precious thing he handpicked himself was still there.

Leaving behind a distraught redhead with her hip propped against the wooden table, Gary made his way to the restaurant's small stage, where musicians played softly in the background. All the customers' eyes turned to him curiously as the man positioned himself under the soft light. And there, Melissa panicked.

Neither of them could say whose heart was beating faster.

"Sorry to interrupt," Gary began speaking into the available microphone with a shaky voice, "I just want to say a few words about the wonderful person who graces not only our stomach but also our sight tonight."

When he looked at Melissa, and although her eyes were already glued to his, the head chef's mind could not be further away.

Her mind was in denial, working hard to remember if that day was their anniversary, or perhaps the day they shared their first kiss, unable to accept the need to realize the trap that was unfolding dramatically in front of her.

The tension in the air was palpable, but with a gentle and loving gesture, Gary asked for Melissa to come closer.

Confused, she looked back at her family, just lost and confused, but the eyes of those who shared her surname shone amidst smiling faces, and there, as she walked carefully toward her boyfriend, her heart raced, not with happiness, but with apprehension.

He wouldn't do this.

He can't.

Right?

“Melissa,” Gary said, taking her hand and finally kneeling down, to Melissa's desperation, “You are the reason I wake up every day with a smile on my face. You bring color to my life and I can't imagine a future without you. I know you told me you don't intend to get married again but I just need to know if you would do me the honor of being my wife?” His words echoed through the space, full of love and hope as a deep silence momentarily settled in, where everyone there awaited the chef's answer.

But Melissa, with her hand being gently caressed by her boyfriend, for the first time in his own restaurant, felt like she was going to vomit.

The desire and expectation in his eyes were palpable, but she had been clear so many times.

She didn't want this. Not again.

She didn't want marriage or the commitments that it entailed.

And he knew it.

She made that clear to Gary again and again. And he knew how painful her divorce had been. The redhead remembered nights when painful memories would eat away at her mind until she shared them with him. How could he have the courage to ignore her feelings so easily? In the midst of her clients? In her restaurant? And invite her family to watch?

But then, only then, she recognized the looks in their eyes.

They knew. Her family knew.

The same ones who had heard her say over and over again how much she didn't want to get married again.

Ever.

The feeling of being disregarded took over her. A weight that made her wish, even if just for a second, that she had burned herself in the kitchen the day before so she could have stayed home instead of going through that.

She was so embarrassed.

Her boyfriend didn't listen to her. Her family didn't listen to her. No one listened to her.

When Melissa opened her mouth to respond, her words failed to come out. She fixed her gaze on Gary's anxious, hopeful smile, trying to find a way to express the turmoil that was forming inside her. But she knew that only one word would be enough.

“No.”, and when she finally said it, her voice cracked.

She knew that her answer had hit him like a crash.

The murmur of the audience grew around them, mixing disapproval and empathy. Gary stood still for a moment, the ring box slipping from his hand as he searched for some light in the eyes of the woman he loved. And Melissa was also on fire, but with pain and guilt for disappointing him.

“I understand,” he finally murmured after a while, forcing a smile that definitely didn’t reach his eyes. “I just wanted you to know how I feel… And maybe you…”

“I understand. But I can’t. I’m so sorry. It’s better if we end it here,” she interrupted, her voice firm, despite the pain.

The thick tears began to slide down his face, and Melissa felt her heart break inside her chest, but she knew there was no going back.

It was necessary, she knew it was. And she also knew she would cry herself to sleep that night.

Looking around the restaurant, feeling the eyes of her customers burning her back as some of them left their tables, overwhelmed by the weight of the scene they had witnessed that night, she wanted to disappear.

But instead, even when she heard her name being called by her entire family, especially her mother whose voice sounded more enthusiastic than all the others, Melissa silently returned to the kitchen. After all, she still had a kitchen to run.

Only after the end of the workday, when everyone had left and the redhead was drinking a worrying amount of wine in the closed kitchen of her restaurant, footsteps were heard by the redhead in the dining room.

Melissa had made it clear to everyone in the restaurant how much she didn't want to see anyone. But maybe her words also didn't mean anything to her employees too.

"Does everything I say just turned meaningless now?" she shouts towards the dining room, but when her eyes find the three people who were missing earlier today, her voice softens even amidst the confusion of alcohol, "How did you all get in here?"

Seamus, Toni, and Kristen Marie are moving too fast for the redhead to see with the amount of alcohol she consumed, and if Melissa were a little more sober she would notice how all three of them are looking at her with a huge amount of sadness. So maybe it was for the best.

“You’re almost cute when you think a few well-done locks can stop a Schemmenti. Imagine three!”, Toni says softly with a sweet smile as she approaches the redhead, gently placing a kiss on the chef’s forehead and looking for a clean, dry glass to fill with water and force her sister to drink.

Irritated by the unsolicited contact, Melissa thinks about greeting her by calling the owner of the brown eyes Antoinette, but oddly enough, the touch of the younger sister caresses not only her temple but also her soul.

“Hey Mel.”, Seamus says, but he doesn’t lean in for a proper greeting. The middle brother of all the women, whose existence was discovered only after everyone was adults just approaches his older sister to confuse her. The man's clumsy approach makes the redhead focus on the tall, blonde figure who is now once again trying to put the hairpins she used to break down the back door of her sister's restaurant back in place. Knowing that the mere sight of Kriste Marie being the one responsible for invading her property would cause enough distraction, Seamus takes both the bottle and the glass of wine away from his older sister while Toni replaces it with water without her noticing. At least not now.

"Kristen Marie.", is said with as much disdain as affection, which makes the blonde one let out a small smile at her older sister before responding with the same intonation:

"Melissa Ann."

The three Schemmentis who have just arrived gently sit down next to the redhead, who strokes the rim of the glass of water in front of her with the tip of her index finger after rejecting it.

"You're late for the shit show, ya know? It was during dinner.”, she says stammeringly but is quickly cut off by her brother.

“I guess we arrived just in time then.”, he says softly before directing a particularly disappointed look at Kristen Marie when he sees that the blonde one has taken the glass that used to belong to her sister and is now drinking the wine left there by her.

“I knew you would say no! We all knew!”, Kristen says angrily, as if ripping off a particularly stuck band-aid on the redhead’s skin, but one that everyone there knew needed to be changed.

“He warned us a month ago, sent a message in a group with all of us and asked us to be here for the proposal.”

“I said it wouldn’t work out, which obviously started a fight with Ma. Antoinette agreed with me and Seamus here said he would let you know.”, Kristin says again, monopolizing everyone’s attention for a few seconds, but as soon as she finishes, Melissa can see out of the corner of her eye that Seamus lowers his head in shame.

“Mom got really furious, she said we were rooting against your happiness.”, Toni says in a soft voice, but the redhead knows better.

She knows that “we” is not really “we”, but it is Seamus. Ma probably told Seamus that he was rooting against her happiness, and that’s probably why he didn’t tell her, and when she realizes it, the head chef gently stretches her right hand toward her brother.

He, in turn, gently kisses her fingers, still in silence.

“As if Kristen wouldn’t love to see you get engaged just to plan which white dress she’ll wear to your wedding.”, Toni tries to make a joke with a nervous smile, but she quickly regrets it when she sees the tear that runs down her older sister’s right cheek.

“What if… if…”

What if no one wants me?

What if no one accepts me on that condition?

What if I’m alone forever?

“No.”, Kristen interrupts Melissa almost like a growl, as if she can understand all the horrible questions that are going through her sister’s head right now, “Eventually they will understand this too. All of them.”

“Promise?”

“We promise.”, is said in unison by all three siblings, and this sound alone is capable of softening the redhead’s mind and heart.

[nottivagos]

https://www.tumblr.com/buralaryalannstuff/773302179869163520?source=share

this is SO stalker!carlos comforting reader (could also be me) (please)

no idea attached to this, i just saw it and had to share it!!

- 🐇

an: i'm not classing this as a notebook post because there's no filth. it's basically a long ass idea (poorly written, i'm too tired for grammar today) that has been in my drafts for ages. on that note, more and more every day i believe we are the same person, 🐇anon because HOW DID WE GET THE SAME POST AND SAME IDEA IN THE SAME DAY?!?!?!?

it was the same as it usually was. a bad dream followed by carlos’s arms around you, your emotional state confused by the emotions you were feeling. your mind frantic as it was on overdrive.

the dream was always vivid and constant, as if you were living in the moment again. he’d come around for dinner, that charming look glimmering in his eye as he passed you that wine glass, before they had darkened upon your first sip. 

then it was fuzzy. the distant crack of a mobile phone followed by some muffled words. did you even finish your food? that you couldn’t remember. you must’ve done, surely. what was it again? it was definitely hearty— warming, even. then it was darkness. you could remember being awoken by that bumpy dirt track, before carlos pressed a sweet finger on your lips, cooing you so you’d fall back asleep again. to which you did with no protests.

the next phase, however, was more corrupted and stark. carlos’s uncontrollable rage when you tried to leave for the first time, the pathetic tears that shed and burnt your cheeks from the fact that they fell so uncontrollably. the sheer fear followed by a half-assed “i’m sorry, cariño” as he held you that night, before laying you ever so gently onto his lap, toying with your hair absentmindedly in the silence of your new home. the forest and your little cottage. that stupid, stupid dream he’d made a fucking reality, even if it was being seen through rose tinted glasses. 

then came the lack of contact with your parents and friends. carlos’s sweet words when he tried to explain that you didn’t need them anymore. that first christmas you’d both shared, the new phone he’d gifted you with the numbers he thought you needed already put into it. the way “my love” rolled off his lips whenever he walked into a room to see you. that stupid smile you always smiled when he did so, followed by a pounding heart and an afraid face whenever his body language tensed at something you’d done or said that he didn’t approve of. 

“oh my sweet girl,” broke you out of your frantic thoughts. carlos then sighed, brushing your hair from your eyes with a large hand in a sweet gesture. it felt right being here like this. in carlos’s embrace, feeling his warmth as burly arms cradled your sobbing form, engulfing you with his size like a blanket of love and safety.

a choked sob followed. your big watery eyes came to look up at his caring brown doe ones as you sniffled, rosy coloured lips formed into a pout as your cheeks stained crimson and stung from the salty tears you’d shed.

“what are these tears for, hmm?” he consoled ever so gently, his thick accent like the calm in the storm as calloused pads of his thumbs came to brush some stray tears from your cheeks, coming to cup your face. “it’s just a dream, nena. just a dream,” he whispered as if he was talking to a child.

you were too emotional to speak. sobs were the only thing to escape your lips, throat dry as you strangled yourself in your own overwhelming sadness. 

“that’s alright,” carlos soothed, pressing your face back against his chest as you continued to cry. “we can talk about it later,” he murmured into your ear, pressing a loving kiss against your temple whilst a hand came to tangle in your hair whilst cupping the back of your head.

“i-i’m sorry,” your croaky voice managed merely a whisper of an apology, nuzzling your face into his chest. carlos knew you’d ruin his shirt with your messed up mascara, but he was willing to sacrifice that if it meant you were safe and happy in his arms. 

“shh,” he was quick to shush you, pressing another loving peck against the top of your head as he sighed contently. “there’s no need to talk right now,” carlos mumbled, “just let it all out,” his other hand coming to wrap around your waist, his thumb brushing up and down your spine gently in soothing motions.

and it was in these moments that it felt pure with carlos. he cared. of course he fucking cared, he was the only one for you. he believed in his own sick and twisted way. your soul and life was his, but all in all, was it so bad? a few night terrors were easily fixed in these moments as carlos kissed away your tears, whispering those sweet words you desperately needed to hear into your ear as you just hopelessly let him comfort you. like always. and forever. <3

[43501]

Opened my copy of Another Note: The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases for the first time in a decade and man, I forgot this is a goldmine of info and Mello characterization. It lets us know what kind of person Mello is almost more than the source material. Every time he's on panel/screen he's always so intense, it's fascinating to see him write and kind of get this feeling of "oh, he is also a normal guy outside of those situations".

He says he had one extensive in-person meeting with L, which is backed up by this other post of mine where I point out that, in the anime at least, Mello references having spoken to L personally. If we take it as canon it means L and Mello met at some point between Kira emerging and L leaving England for Japan.

He expresses a strong sense he might die. I've seen people say that he's "narrating from beyond (heh) the grave" and it's nonsensical, but that's not what's happening here. He's just writing while anticipating his death and writing as if these notes may be discovered posthumously.

He thinks that, in the event he dies, Near is the one who will discover his writings. This is interesting to me because it suggests Mello either knows Near knows his whereabouts, or would figure it out and recover his belongings. I actually think this is outright supported by canon - we see Near eating Mello's chocolate in the manga's epilogue. I don't think he instructed his staff to go out and buy that same chocolate, I think that's straight up Mello's stash.

At some point he started identifying less with the "Mello" alias and calling himself Mihael.

He's so sentimental... ending the prologue simply with "Good memories and nightmares". Bro.

"Imagine you were going to kill someone. What do you think would be the most difficult part? .... The correct answer: killing someone." Damn, I love you Mello lol. Also fascinating when you remember that he achieved his status in the mafia by beheading someone. Yes, he would know how hard it is to kill a person.

Mello states that he and Near belong to the "fourth generation" of Wammy's House kids.

He expresses open sympathy for Beyond and his state, twice... based on his own narration and how he portrays B in the course of the story, he definitely relates to B's emotions.

"Perhaps these gods actually wanted a blood soaked world of betrayal and false accusation. Perhaps the entire episode exists as a lesson to teach us the difference between the Almighty and the shinigami." I can't entirely make sense of this, and I don't want to get ahead of myself, but is "Almighty" capitalized here to definitely refer to the divine? Like, the Christian God but in a bit of a sidestepped, roundabout way? Wish I could see the original Japanese text for this line. If anyone has essays/posts about it, please show me.

And on a meta-textual level, the ambiguity of our role/perspective as the reader of these notes is also interesting. We're probably just an omniscient, unmoored observer being told about this set of notes Mello wrote and his line to the effect of "if it happens to turn into [a book]" is tongue-in-cheek. I know there's a slight, hanging implication that Near did in fact publish his notes, but I think that's unlikely since they contain so much sensitive/classified information.

[bwat5-blog]

Saying Goodbye: Arcane's Songs Of Grief

**Spoilers For Arcane**

Working on a Jinx post the other day it occurred to me I'd never really delved too much into the music even though it is SO IMPORTANT to the story. This is less critical analysis and more just something that interested me so if you don't care I don't blame you! But I get something out of it every time I get to spend time thinking on and digging into this show, so maybe you will to. This won't be too long as quite honestly I feel that-

A: These are fairly self-explanatory

B: I don't have the mind for lyric/poetry analysis and never have

1. Vi's world falling apart

Goodbye: song by Arcane, Ramsey, and Riot Games Music Team ‧ 2021

So this is the song that plays at the end of season 1 act 1 when we were all collectively saying something to the tune of "OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!?"

It was a beautiful and tragic moment in the show and seriously set the tone for the rest of the story. I see this song as Vi's perspective as her world is completely falling apart around her.

Vander is dead

Mylo & Claggor are dead

Her possible last interaction ever with her little sister was deeply traumatic for the both of them, leaving her with crushing guilt over her loss of control and hurting Powder

She has literally been kidnapped and imprisoned in an adult prison without cause or trial (there is no pit of hell deep enough for you Marcus)

"I can hear the sound of a heartbeat before it goes out Won't ever leave my memory of bloodshed all around, And I can see a tear on my father's face before it falls out" :

Vi is hearing Vander die and telling us she won't ever be able to shake the memory of all this death and pain. And that comes back around unfortunately...

"Oh, my enemy, how could I have ever let you down?

Oh When all these trees saw us grow Cut our teeth and make our bones right here We'd play with shields made of stone Share our dreams and sit our thrones":

I see this as all about Powder/Jinx and Vi's crushing guilt over how they were parted. The trees watching them grow and the place where they played and dreamed of better days clearly being Zaun. But the line that is so indicative of Vi's trauma here is "how could I have ever let you down". As her guilt over how things happened will go to impact the course of her entire life.

"Be still, 'cause I see smoke up ahead and I got steel in my hands We will return like warriors, I swear, that we'll find glory up ahead Tell me

Where is my home? I don't recognize the faces anymore, no Where is my friend? The one I've known since I was only just a kid

I think it's time to say goodbye Goodbye, goodbye Goodbye, goodbye, woah":

This entire last section speaks to Vi's future when she returns to Zaun. Her entire world has changed. Powder has become Jinx. Ekko is a rebel leader and a warrior. The demon (don't yell at me Silco people I'm talking Vi's POV) who took her entire world away from her sits in her father's house. And when Vi returns she returns with fury and steel aiming to reclaim what she lost. Until she has no choice but to admit the world she knew is gone. Which takes us into our next song.

2. Jinx loses everyone

What Could Have Been: Song by Ray Chen and Sting ‧ 2021

I'd call this the song that captured the world's attention from Arcane. I mean having Sting alone was huge but this whole sequence was once again so beautiful and horrifying at the same time. Vi spends the whole show trying to get through to Jinx up until this point and you want to believe she is going to pull it off. Jinx is recognizing what Silco took from them, and the Council is starting the vote for Zaunite independence.

But it all falls apart. Silco is dead, and Jinx feels like Vi cannot love her anymore and feels rejected by her after everything that has happened. And this song begins, taking us into Jinx's POV as she lashes out in this moment of terrible grief and loss and angry. I'm not going to do the lyrics for this one like I did above because they are all pretty clear and direct. As Jinx makes the long walk to her destiny and fires the weapon that will destroy her people's chance at independence, she is telling Vi, Silco and the world how they have wronged her.

But the trick with Jinx is to remember she is an unreliable narrator. So when we are with her in this moment seeing it through her eyes we have to remember we cannot take everything at face value. So even though throughout the show we have seen Vi's guilt over what Jinx has become driving her, and after Silco's death Jinx essentially seems to blame Vi for what follows because she cannot "love her like she used to" because they are different. Where does that missile actually go?

I am the monster you created You ripped out all my parts And worst of all, for me to live, I gotta kill the part of me that saw That I needed you more

I hope you know we had everything And you broke me and left these pieces I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play what could have been Oh, what could have been

Why don't you love who I am? What we could have been

I am your ghost, a fallen angel You ripped out all my parts I couldn't care what invention you made me 'Cause I, I was meant to be yours

I hope you know we had everything And you broke me and left these pieces I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play

I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play What could have been

3. Death touches Caitlyn Kiramman

I Can't Hear It Now: Song by Arcane, Freya Ridings, and League of Legends ‧ 2024

This song takes us into Caitlyn Kiramman's POV as she is plunged into the darkness of her mothers death at the hands of Jinx. Once again visually and musically it is a stunning moment. There is a notable difference to this one compared to the other two that I wanted to mention.

Vi's song-"Be still, cause I see smoke up ahead and I got steel in my hands, We will return like warriors, I swear, that we'll find glory up ahead Tell me"

Even with all of the loss and grief and pain in the rest of the lyrics there is a moment of hope. A promise of justice and righteous return

Jinx's song- "I want you to hurt like you hurt me today and I want you to lose like I lose when I play What could have been"

Full of anger and blame and hurt . Nothing positive but A LOT of emotion.

Now let's look at Caitlyn's lyrics:

There is an ocean so dark down below the waves Where you watch while these dreams gently float away And there is a silence so soft it's only memory Like the way your voice always sounds when you sing to me

But I can't hear it now Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning I don't know if I could I watched the door close for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open

I just watched as the door closed for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open

Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning I don't know if I could I watched the door close for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open

Vi and Jinx are full of emotion and pain and loss but they are expressing it, even if it is misguided or negative. Caitlyn is drowning in her grief but trying to force herself to keep going and failing, and blames herself.

"But I can't hear it now ,Just tell me how to keep breathing while pretending I'm not drowning"-

Caitlyn so badly wants to hear her mother's voice again but she cannot. And she is trying to go on, be the new head of her house, testify before the council and everything else while maintaining her composure when inside she is completely and utterly destroyed. I mean for gods sake, revisit the moment she finally is alone with the person she can show vulnerability with:

it's like she barely makes it to Vi before her legs give out...

"I watched the door close for good 'Cause I couldn't keep it open"-

These are the last words of her goodbye to her mother. Not a lament of how the world is changed and she has to say goodbye. Not an angry accusation at those who wronged her. But blaming herself...

Conclusion:

Anyway! I hope you get something out of this. I did by writing it. I love the music of this show, and as a life-long band nerd and music lover seeing a show weave it's music into the storytelling in such an original way was truly special to me. Thank you for reading and take care!

[valleymyristica]

People that make me happy ᵔᵜᵔ

Also, happy 3 month anniversary of What it takes!

There are so many people around And I find myself wanting to share my glee

So I want to give a thank you to all who make me happy And I also want to wish whoever is reading this a lovely day For I'm sure there is always someone who finds glee in your existence

For me, these are the lovely ones that gives me a smile whenever I see them about. Just knowing they are there is enough ᵔᵜᵔ

@waitineedaname

For being a wonderful person One I'm always happy to see doing well We may not talk as much, because I'm so slow But you still make me happy, wherever you go

So I want to wish you the best in this new year! [And thank you for being the beta reader for the HLVRAI fic I've yet to post] [If I ever will, really should though...] [Man, it's so old now]⠀

@cubbiverse

Thank you for being the reason I started What it takes! Without you, it wouldn't exist

Talking to you is always a blast You're always so fun! Your ideas are such a driving force for me

Really bringing me glee whenever I see you You're lovely, you're great I hope the year to come will treat you well! I wish you a happy new year!

Also! Can't forget! Your art is always so nice to see It's always so bubbly, bouncy, pretty and soft! Such lovely fun you bring With every single thing!

Oh, I really do like all the things that you do! You make me so happy too!!!

@shrimpyjackal

Art so pretty, always so kind So very sweet, with a lovely mind

Your colours, they pop! So pretty to the eye Like the setting sun An array of colours in the sky

Like a cold dessert After a desert walk Your art really does have a special spark! Like fireworks that boom, with colours and light! I hope that the year to come, will be lovely and bright!

I wish, it will be lovely and bright! And who knows, maybe wishes do come true?

@astrolotte

Things come Things go

But you are one I'm happy to know!

You're always so positive, so very sweet Just so lovely and unique!

It delights me when you read But I wish you well all the same

For I hope this year brings you joy As we play along with it's game Even as rules change

For change can be good Though, wouldn't want it to leave you on the run

And some things are sweet Though, being trapped is no fun

And have to also tell that your art is like a present on Christmas day Truly something to look forward to in every way!

@arandom-dog [AO3]

My beta reader My wonderful beta reader

AHHHHHHH!!! YOU'RE GREAT!

I'm so happy I have you! You're so helpful and kind! I always like to talk and hear what's on your mind!

AHHHHHH!!!! I still can't stop looking that the comic you made! Along with all the other lovely things you've made Gosh, Bunny is so CUTE! AHHHH!!! It's so pretty! So cool!

I'm so happy you made it And I'm so glad you had fun when you did!

Gosh, What it takes really has taken hold of my life

@unconsciousnonhuman

Thank you for creating the lovely [angst server]! It would be a delight if there was more time to spend

For hearing what's on your mind Is always a highlight before reaching the days end!

So morbid and fun! Oh! You are such a lovely one!

I'm happy you exist! So happy you are here! Really bringing joy by simply being you Do hope I can give you joy too!

Honestly, I think my new years resolution will be to read all of Para. Peri and leave my comment at every chapter.

I will get it done. I hope

@poggieking03

My delightful little fan I'm so happy I have you Really bringing me glee, and questions too!

It's always so fun to see your reactions To hear what you think heh Especially when the characters are on their brink!

I do hope that life is treating you well and that you are feeling swell!

For deserve kindness for all the things you've given me You make me so happy and fill me with glee!

@nightjasmine10

I really do delight in all you send my way Every comment, whatever it may, really does bring a smile to my day!

Honestly, it's so nice that you like talking to me, and it's nice talking to you in turn. You're always so sweet and willing to engage!

You seem so passionate about writing It's so cool! It's always nice to see you around!

Thank you for being as lovely as you are!

@freesso

Pretty, soft and expressive art So very cute So very sweet So very lovely and unique

A lovely person So nice and kind With art that always bring a smile to mind

Hope your days are joyous and sweet For you’re a lovely person One I'm happy I got to meet!

@midnightdemonz

Yay! Our fairy meat fanatic and one with a powerful Peri AU!

You're such a fun one and always a delight to talk too

Really should work more on fairy meat, we got so much to work with, still... what it takes is also important. Though, sparing some time for some meat shouldn't hurt, right?

As for the wonder you are? You're bright and fun, like a lucky star! Always so fun to talk to you

Hope your days are as great as you are! For you are indeed great!

@nova-in-space

Honestly, I may not be a part of it But seeing all the Peri's interacting is so fun!

From what I've read of Ghost Town so far It's very interesting! Desolate, dreary, eery What could have caused such disarray? Oh, is there anyone that would dare to say?

Also, I still remember the drawing you made based on What it takes I will forever cherish such lovely things Every spec of gold is still gold And it really does delight me that you took the mind and time to do it

It really made me happy, and remembering it really does bring a smile

Thank you so much!

You're a fun delightful person And I do delight in the ideas you present in your work

Like miasma filling their lungs Poisoning their bodies Breaking their minds And all which connects

It's interesting It's fun

@vhs-consumer

It's weird, I don't talk to you But you do seem like a person I'd like You seem like a really fun and cool person

hehehe You even know about 'fairy meat' Which is fun ᵔᵜᵔ⠀⠀

So, I do hope that the year to come will be a fun one With lovely food and fun people!

Also, have to compliment your art Because it's really nice It's like ice preserving the beauty of the world It's like a an array of needles you can softly pet It's like a shiver of cold as you sit so warm with a cup of hot chocolate

It's sharp and nice Both cool and warm And really something one likes to look upon

@elsa-fogen

Thank you for also being a lovely morbid delight!

It's fun talking to you from time to time and I do hope that this year will be a lovely one for you!

I do delight in all the AUs you do have And it's so fun to see your version of Icy She's so cool! hehehe Cool and cold Pun for fun

I like a sweet one who sees no wrong in the horrors It's simply how things are How they should be

Why would you want to leave? We're just getting to the fun part!

Also have to tell, I do like your art as well! It's so fun, the way you create, It's as if all fit together as pieces to a puzzle Every little line has a place to be

Everyone seems so full of life It's just connected so nicely And you're really funny too Your jokes are great!

@illustrationismyhaven ( @doodle17 )

You're a fun one, and happy late birthday!

I think you're the reason I decided to play Psychonauts Which is something I am so very happy and thankful for, it and it's sequel are such great games! I'm so happy I got to experience them, thank you!

In addition, I really like your lobotomy family au It's such a cute little idea!

Well, you seem to have many fun ideas So I guess that's kinda a given

Apart from such, you're a delight too see Your art is always so striking and lovely! So fluid, like a stream of water in winter Like green leafs in the summer rain So pretty, colourful and bright

You really do give off a lovely light!

@todaytomorrowgiraff

I doubt you know of my existence, but I do want to tell I appreciate you!

It delights me to see a little HLVRAI on my dash Gives it all a little extra pizzazz!

I remember finding you thanks to your wonderful fic, Becoming Human. It's been a moment since I've read it last, but I do recall delighting in it so. In a way, I guess it's inspiration, it's such a lovely one and you seem like such a wonderful person!

@bunnieswithknives

Gosh do I like the things that you do So of course you make me happy too!

Your art is so modular Like pipes connected so cleanly together Like ball-jointed dolls that you simply move

It's so very cool! And it all creates such a funky grove!

In addition, your ideas, the thoughts in your mind How you play with ideas You're funny and smart

What you make is truly a work of art!

That is to say, I like what you create! Always so fun to see what you'll present next!

Also, sorry for the time that I messed with your head Hope you're doing better, and you're happy instead!⠀

@kisskisstine

Like a story book with tales to be told Your art is so lovely to behold

A blooming star, so pretty and bright Yet so lonely when she shines her light

And he who thought himself bright and strong Is bound to have a stark realization when he finds, he is wrong

Your art is soft and kind Very fitting for you

For you seem like a lovely person too! Wishing you the best in all that you do!

Bright soft skies Sun so high Hope the smiles that you give Are given in turn For you deserve bright joys! Is one thing I've learned

Giving kindness to the kind Giving joy to the joyous Giving, sharing and wishing the best

So many sweet things You deserve them too!

@wreckrinho

You art is like cookies So scrumptious and good!

Like rivers Like streams Like something forgotten in dreams

So cool and fun So very you

And it makes me happy to see When you enjoy what you do!

Hope you're well And life is treating you with kindness

Horror may come to those in the stories one tell But that doesn't mean it should come to you as well

You're a fun delight Sweet little starlight Deserving fun

Enjoy the things you do I enjoy them too

Share what you like That's when you shine the most bright!

@artificial-angels

Your art, so pretty Like clouds on a soft summer day Like flowers that bloom Like sweet cotton candy dreams

Pastel paradise parade So soft and sweet It really is a delightful treat

@nilsford-prattle

Long forgotten In sand we lay But still we always hope that you are doing okay

Bright and fun Sweet and kind Hope you have peace of mind

Hope there is joy in the things that you do And that you always have a reason to be happy too

@purplecatghostposts

Hope there is joy to your days Your interests are ones we enjoy to see

Your writing a lovely delight Your shimmer a happy joy

So many things anew Yet though old they may seem For you bring it to life Like it's been awoken from a dream

Thank you for being you And doing what you do

Thank you all so much for bringing joy to my day! I hope I'm able to bring some joy to yours as well!

And maybe I'm alone in being me But I do think it nice to tell about those that are kind

In a world so cruel I want to prove there can be kindness as well

I find it pretty funny that it took so long to post this In part because I kept remembering so many fun people⠀

Huh... maybe my friend is right? I am pretty much always happy⠀

Maybe you all have something to do with that?

[sir-myst-cake]

First post on here and it's a rant!! If you want more cool takes you should totally follow me as I'll be posting here more often and have totally cool art to share‼️‼️

I'm not completely sure how to tag this? I'm talking about the ships in a positive light so I think it's okay, and besides, I want lots of peeps to see it, I'm aware I probably won't change many people's minds at all, but it's okay lol, I just want Anti's to see they genuinely have a nothing burger and need to leave people alone.

This is a mostly TikTok only problem regarding Beast x Ancient's (thank god) but I've seen my fair share elsewhere like on here. So lemme counter every argument I've seen so far cause you got a lot of time on your hands to be telling people to off themselves over Cookie ships 😭 put that hate into people who actually deserve it.

BILLFORD COMPARISON

Regarding ShadowVanilla specifically, people have compared the ship a lot from both sides, but what really got me is what I've seen here:

"Shadow Milk Cookie is way worse than Bill! He drove Pure Vanilla to insanity! He tortured him!"- This is in regards to how people bring up the fact Anti's are fine with one thing but not the other when it's basically the same thing they're against. Psychological, physical, mental, and emotional torture. I'll be honest I haven't watched Gravity Falls whatsoever, but my friend has, and from what she says, yeah Bill is the definition of a cruel and unusual punishment. He's done some crazy things, absolutely heinous, might even be a little worse than Shadow Milk or on the same level, either way though-

You can't like one thing and then not the other, it's different flavors of the same thing, it's hypocritical. Either you hate them both or you hate neither.

"Those are 2 different fandoms!"- Doesn't matter, it's the same thing, just different media, it's not different whatsoever aside from the universe, there's much torture involved on both ends.

ABUSER X VICTIM

This one I've seen A LOT and I'm just ??

"If you ship Beast x Ancient's you support Abuser x victim btw"- That's a STRETCH. You are reaching FAR. Nobody is romanticizing the abuse, nobody is normalizing it, it's stuff that happened in canon and we acknowledge it but nobody is doing any of that other stuff. I'm not condoning anyone in real life to do that shit lol. It's called exploring, they have an interesting dynamic, romantic or platonic, two sides of the same coin. You can say the same thing about horror movies, they put a lot of disturbing stuff in there. Do the movie producers CONDONE any of that stuff? Obviously not. Goes for Devsisters too, they don't condone body mutilation yet they still made Burning Spice rip off Cheese's wings.

But even so, for the people who DO like it for the angst, I won't say fiction doesn't affect reality because it does in many cases, but this isn't one of them. Not every relationship is going to be peachy and perfect, just like in real life. I can give an example on this one too actually.

GoldenLily, they aren't condoning what Lily (technically) did to Golden Cheese's kingdom, but they like it for all the potential, complicated feelings and emotions that come along with it.

Also, that's basically the same thing with Beasts x Ancients, just turn it around to enemies to lovers.

"This isn't Villain x hero, this is abuser x victim"- Are you saying MOST of media is abuser x victim then? This is in fact a typical hero x Villain trope, it's nothing new. Respectfully, you guys freak out when a Villain does villain stuff, I'd be surprised if there was a villain who DIDN'T cause any trauma for the opposing party. But according to this logic, media is just dead, no more fanfiction, no more what ifs, no more content since it's all apparently problematic and not canon. Even if somebody switches stuff up in an AU, and makes things completely fluffy, that's apparently still not enough.

"oh you had to make an AU to ship them because you know it's toxic"- No, it's just playing around with scenarios. Learn to separate fanon from canon. This specifically goes for the redeemed AU's I see of the Beasts, people still complain, they act as if people can't change. One of the biggest examples I have of that is FlutterCord, Discord did plenty of messed up things, but in the end, he still managed to change. You'll still get burned at the stake for it though.

"You must be an abuser yourself to condone this!!"- Extremely disrespectful and a WILDDD take. Need I say more??

"I ship Beast x Beast rather than Beast x Ancient's"- According to your logic, the Beasts are abusers right? And if we followed the same story, they are not mentally well whatsoever. You'd rather ship 2 dangerously mentally unstable characters together who'd just make each other worse? Destroy each other? Fuck each other up beyond belief? It doesn't make sense does it, nor is it fair for y'all to praise these ships but hate on the others. You like watching the cookies crumble huh 😭

CANON

"The ship isn't canon!"- We know that, everyone should know that. With what I said earlier, please learn to separate fanon from canon. That's what a fandom is, we do non-canon stuff, it's very fun, you should try it.

"It's a Proship/Dark ship!"- Going the canon route, Beasts are Eons old, Ancients are thousands of years old. Big gap yes, but nonetheless all of them are old as fuck. Older than bloodlines. Treating the Ancients as if they aren't grown adults. You're intentionally trying to make it weird. Stop calling ships you don't like proships please.

Also a little off topic but please don't listen to everyone you interact with on TikTok?? I remember one time I was scrolling through a comment section and saw somebody say "Doesn't Mystic Flour Cookie hate Burning Spice Cookie?" On a MysticSpice vid, looked in the replies, somebody asked for proof/where it was implied, and they didn't answer 💀 just blatantly spreading misinformation. Sources around you are way more reliable than people who don't back up their claims.

CONCLUSION

Even despite all this, you still have the right to feel how you wanna feel. Just please stop harassing people for simple stuff like this, in all honesty, I feel like it's more about seeing one of your favorite characters shipped with somebody who hurt them in canon that makes peeps upset. Which I can totally understand because I used to be exactly like that, I LIVEEEE for Dark Cacao Cookie, when Mystic Flour's update came out, I wanted her dead. Quite literally blocked someone because I couldn't stand seeing their MysticCao art. Hated what she did to my baby boy fr.

But then It started growing on me, over time, I just realized it was never that serious.

Even so, notice how I still didn't go out of my way to harass said person about it because I specifically didn't like it? It really is that easy. Block and go about your day.

I also suspect this because of stuff like this 💀

Love that person who replied, but it's not that hard y'all. We all can in fact, get along.

ANYWAYSSSS thanks to those who took the time read, I love you my pookies hope you have a good day or night💕💕

[lydiasfalling]

PINS AND NEEDLES

percy jackson x athena!reader

➸✧˖*°࿐ taglist : open!

˗ˋˏ warnings : use of y/n, post breakup, angst, possible part two??? ˎˊ-

‧₊˚✧ lydia’s yap fest ! ✧˚₊‧

post breakup yearning? sign me up. also i’ve never ever written athena reader cause it feels too much like writing myself and i don’t want to project but i hope u guys enjoy!!! (unedited!)

it had been exactly three weeks, two days, and six hours since you and percy jackson had broken up. now, while it pained you to admit, you missed him. your friends would tell you that you couldn’t miss him. not when you had left him the way you did. truth is, life as a demigod was hard. having no guarantees that you would even be alive tomorrow was a hard pill to swallow. it had gotten to a point where it felt wrong to give percy another weight on his back. he was already under the pressure of saving the world, he didn’t need a relationship to balance on it.

first came the arguing. it had become a staple for the recent era of your relationship. you would bring up the idea of taking a break, which he would turn down. he refused to hear you out whatsoever. then came the silent treatment. he couldn’t stand how every time you’d spoken, you would flip it back to the topic of breaking up. he thought better to just ignore the problem all together. finally, came the blow up. you two had found a rare moment of peace amongst the war. his fingered takes through your wet hair as you laid on his lap. you had again decided to bring up the topic again. the resulted in the fight. breaking up wasn’t easy, but something you saw necessary.

now, you paced in your cabin. these past few weeks had been a personal tartarus for you ( and you assumed percy, or he-who-shall-not-be-named ). every little thing reminded you of him. the smell of the lake you’d spend hours swimming in. the fields you would run through hand-in-hand. the bed you would spend hours having—well, you get the point. every corner held a memory. this realization made you want to rip your scalp clean off.

however, no matter how much you would deny it, you were still hopelessly in-love with perseus jackson. watching him from a far made you realize just how lucky you had been to call him yours. the beauty of his soul was one you wish could be captured and put in a jar for everyone to admire. the selfish part of you wanted that jar on your nightstand. you decided now was the time. you would finally leave the comfort of your cabin and venture into the camp. your siblings were sure that you were aware how many times percy had asked them about you. he told them to make sure you got proper care since he couldn’t be the one to do so. you knew he’d be happy to see you getting dressed to leave.

“y/n? you coming?” your sister had asked you. it was just about to be lunch.

“mhm. give me one moment.” the mirror showed you what you had dread seeing. heavy purple bags laid under your eyes. your cheeks seemed hollow. people would argue that you couldn’t be sad since you broke up with him, but they didn’t understand. you and percy were—by definition—joined at the hip. you did everything together. now the color had been drained out of usually exciting things.

“any day now.” you joined your sister at the doorframe, stepping out into the sun. the aroma of camp consumed your senses, putting you at a momentary state of ease. this ended soon as you felt the formalist presence of a certain brunette boy. his aura was contagious. you could feel him radiating half way across the world. however, he was unusually dull. turning around, you finally came face to face with percy.

“i. . . uh. . . hi, ang—y/n. didn’t see ya there.” even in the awkward atmosphere, he still managed to bring your shoulders down and your brows to relax.

“mhm. . .” you didn’t truly speak, scared of what would leave your mouth. you quickly turned back around and began to shuffle away. percy hand caught your wrist in record time.

“can we, ya know, talk? i don’t think i got to say my piece when everything went down.” he kept his hand on your skin, goosebumps trailing up your arm at the feeling. you ripped you arm away as if the touch had burned you.

“now’s not a great time.”

“okay, well, when is a good time?” he shifted on his heels

“sometime. . . other. . . than now?” you said, though it sounded more like a question to both of you.

“what happened?” he questioned, an exasperated look coming over his features.

“what?” you asked.

“to us! what happened to us? i mean. . .fuck, y/n. i was in love with you. scratch that. i am in love with you. and im trying really. really hard to respect your decision. but how can i? how can i walk past you every single day knowing im so beyond in love with i can’t even function? i cant even think about battle anymore. it’s you. you occupy every thought from the moment i wake up to the moment i fall to sleep. it’s painful.”

“it’s for the best.” you whispered.

“bullshit! i think you’re just scared!” his volume increased, causing other campers to turn in your direction.

“lower your voice, percy.” you smiled at everyone, hoping they would stop listening. “like i said, this really isn’t a good time.” you left soon after those words left your mouth, not allowing him any time to protest.

“y/n!” he called after you. you simply pretended not to hear it as you re-entered your cabin, slamming the door behind you.

taglist : @laufeysvalentine @cowboylikemac @lydiascabinsix @raysmayhem-72

my masterlist

[theiaphage]

This is a really well worded post and I generally agree! However, I think I got another angle of this same conclusion based on the idea that Amy's original redemption arc never really concluded only to backslide -- rather, that her expectations about redemption fundamentally change what that redemption arc means in-text

Like you say, it absolutely falls well within the typical narrative-trope parameters of the expected 'redemption arc,' she hits all the core points -- but, like with a lot of tropes related to pain, trauma, healing, forgiveness and so on, the typical narrative portrayal isn't often a realistic one. In that way I think Amy acts as both a good example and, with further context, a deconstruction of the redemption arc, because under further examination a lot of the arc itself isn't necessarily as positive as it first came off. In so many of her attempts, she's trying to do better according to all she knows when surrounded by the worst influences possible. She doesn't have a solid safe role model, and hasn't for her entire life. Someone to tell her that sometimes you just won't be forgiven, that not every fight ends with a hug and back-to-normal at the end.

In that way, Amy's attempts at doing the right thing in Worm, though absolutely noble in conscious intent, still betray a few of her failings and the places she was failed. Like you say, she really does try to get better, she does the things she may know broadly lead to healing or help or forgiveness, but a lot still ends up being more about her than her efforts.

The tattoo here absolutely stands out to me -- even before Ward went and had her all but explicitly say that the tattoo holds a different meaning now, even in Worm it still seemed imperfect, questionable potentially, but with heart behind it. It was a memorialization of pain and a reminder to do better -- but like so many pieces of art about pain or failure, it could inadvertently romanticize the subject just as much as it condemns it. Amy is, in a very real way, actively working this tragedy into a part of a narrative -- one she tries to use for growth, but ultimately fails in.

I'm trying not to be too harsh on Amy here, but vibes-wise I'm reminded somewhat of something like an ex-boyfriend, leaving flowers at the door of someone who dumped him, or cry-singing a song about how they were a bad boyfriend on the car drive home. Sure, the pain is real, the acknowledgement of failure likely is as well, but at some point the gesture becomes more about the boyfriend's pain than the actual relationship, or even the breakup. In this moment Victoria, a victim who literally cannot speak for herself in this instance, is 'memorialized' in a very real sense, turned into a symbol by a person that already as a base nature of their power and life can feel so disconnected from the humanity of others.

So many of these choices by Amy center her -- her attempted growth, her attempted retribution, her attempted change. It's the kind of thing that in real life really can be done for the right reasons, but can also be done for worse ones -- that ex-boyfriend working out thinking of their ex, getting a job thinking of their ex, hanging a picture of their ex above their bed to motivate them to get up in the morning. Amy's actions aren't even this extreme or pointed, but I view it as them sharing a sort of kernel of trying to do better because they really want (or even need) better in turn -- and thus, Amy's arc in Ward is what happens when the textbook redemption arc doesn't work.

When all those acts of memoriam, distance, betterment, health, are done with the kernel of hope in your mind that it means you'll be forgiven, that it all will be fine again and you can go back to how it was.

And that's why I see her redemption arc as never having completed -- she's trying, she's hitting the right steps, but ultimately at the conclusion of this redemption (which I would argue is a long period of time, starting with Vicky's new body and coming back up again for a while) would come when those attempts were tested, when Victoria refuses to forgive her and she's forced to either accept her betterment without Victoria, or let go of it and keep pushing for her -- she begins to choose the later.

In this way it's less of a backslide and more of a recontextualizing moment. She is backsliding in behavior, but it's not that she got foundationally better and then became foundationally worse again, and more so that she tried to get better, put in real effort, but ultimately failed. This version worked for me because it seems to be what Amy acts like right out of the gate; annoyed that Vicky won't accept her, continually trying to do things 'for' her or based on her happiness when Victoria wants nothing to do with any of that.

These give some context to her past actions, allow you to re-examine Worm in a way that both provides answers and adds a new layer in a way many readers (myself included) missed at first simply because yeah, Amy's arc does have all the pieces of a redemption arc, and it takes Ward to get people thinking about whether or not those pieces add up.

I do want to state to conclude that yeah, her portrayal (and especially the initial choice to tell this story surrounding Amy of all people) has its issues, many major, but the portrayal of someone who falls into toxicity and abuse because they thought they were doing everything right and still didn't get what they wanted out of it; A person who still didn't get that one selfish prize they latched onto in a moment of pain that they tried to be a saint to deserve or make up for wanting? Yeah, that's pretty unique and powerful, and despite its flaws it really hits home as an accurate-to-the-point-of-painfulness portrayal.

Okay, fuck it, I've built up enough goodwill with this sideblog - let's risk it all by sharing my opinions on how Amy is handled in Ward.

It's kinda complicated I think.

Okay, now that I've resisted the urge to immediately hit post for the bit: I think the way her interludes are written substantially flattens her character in a way that I find distasteful and unpleasant, but I find the overall shape of her arc and her role in the narrative compelling. The things I dislike have been well-covered by plenty of other people in the fandom, so I'm going to focus on the things I like.

To talk about Amy's role in Ward, I first need to talk about my interpretation of Ward as a whole. To me, Ward is, above all else, about trauma and recovery. Society is traumatized by the end of the world, the shards are traumatized by the death of Scion and their loss of purpose, individuals are traumatized by all the things individuals are traumatized by. As an aside, this reading is a big reason why I'm not too bothered by a lot of the world building choices that other people frequently (and fairly) criticize - I think many of them serve this theme effectively.

One specific facet of that reading that I find particularly compelling is Ward's interest in people who are traumatized not just by the harm done to them, but by the harm they've done. Characters don't just regret what they've done, they don't just want to be better, they are traumatized by it, and their reactions to that trauma are as messy and complicated as any other traumatized people. I don't always agree with the stances the text takes on how to deal with having done harm and been traumatized as a result, but I find the exploration of the topic compelling.

Enter The Altruistic Amy Dallon.

Amy's arc in Worm was, to a degree, a prototype of this kind of storytelling. She is repeatedly and horrifically traumatized, the actions she eventually takes in response to that experience inflict equally horrific trauma on her victim, and she is further traumatized by her own actions almost to the point of ego death. She removes herself from the environment she was in, begins rebuilding her sense of identity and ethics, and reemerges having grown, prepared to do better going forward and to make reparations for her past actions as best she can. Arc done! It's satisfying and cathartic, and we leave content in the knowledge that the part she's on will take her to better places. It's the quintessential appeal of a redemption arc, and it's a strong example of its type.

There's something people like to say a lot when talking about mental health and personal growth in real life, and that is that progress isn't linear. It's an important truth to understand.

It's rarely true in fiction. Very often, in redemption arcs, in personal growth arcs, after a series of false starts and setbacks, the character reaches a critical point where they resolve their conflict and either overcome it or succumb to it. From that point on, their nature or behavior is fundamentally changed - if they've grown they never relapse past a certain point, or do so only fleetingly, or else never improve past a certain point. This makes sense from a storytelling perspective, but it doesn't map to how growth often works in real life.

In Ward, Amy occupies the very rare narrative position of being who completes her arc of growth and redemption, who crosses that critical threshold of lasting, meaningful change... but backslides anyway, to the point of essentially losing all that progress.

It's an outcome that I find very believable for her, honestly. Her newfound worldview and conviction were forged in the very insular environment of the Birdcage - of course they would be impacted by her new environment. She says at the end of Ward that she had been able to excuse all of her worst behavior because she had convinced herself that she could fix anything - and at the end of Worm, I can see how she would come to think that! She's been pardoned and released from Forever Prison, she overcame her old aversion to brains to create Khepri and thereby saved the world, she's formed a positive relationship with the father she never thought she'd meet, she's receiving love and support from parents she never felt good enough for, she's using her powers to help people in a way that doesn't make her want to die, and she even "fixed" Victoria, when failing to do that before was the final nail in the coffin she just finished clawing her way out of! The sheer number of seemingly impossible things she's accomplished, of apparently irreversible failures she's seemingly put right, is mind boggling! It'd be the easiest thing in the world to let that go to your head!

Her social circle is also a perfect environment to enable her worst tendencies - there's no one left in it whose opinion she trusts that's willing to call her on her shit. Marquis doesn't see anything wrong with her behavior, Carol is trying to make up for a decade of neglect and unwarranted criticism, Mark just wants everybody to get along and be happy, and Riley and Rinke are pretty shaky on this whole human decency thing themselves! With a (not unjustified) pride in how far she'd come, a circle of willing enablers, a complete lack of moderating influences, and a bulletproof get-out-of-moral-culpability-free card, and two years to spiral, I find her backsliding to be completely believable. And given that Victoria is the fly in the ointment to all of this, that her continued refusal to have anything to do with Amy gives lie to Amy's belief that she can fix anything, and thereby puts the entire edifice of her self-rationalizations at risk, it also makes perfect sense to me that Amy would become fixated on her, on proving that she really can fix anything.

Of course, being believable isn't the same thing as being compelling. The thing that makes all this so resonant for me is that, at the end of Ward, after being this grasping spectre that haunts Victoria the whole book, after rejecting countless opportunities to demonstrate a hint of self-awareness or the slimmest motivation to change - Amy does. She sits down with a therapist. She rips off the band-aid - both the metaphorical one and the literal one made out of Victoria's skin, jesus christ Amy - looks at what she's done, at how she went awry, and resolves to do better. And we end with her in essentially the same place she was at the end of Worm: prepared to do better going forward and to make reparations as best she can. But the journey she has taken to get there gives the destination entirely new meaning for me. She's already fumbled her chance at redemption! But her journey gives lie to the idea that you only have one chance, or two, or any finite number! Every moment you draw breath is a chance to do better.

To me, Amy Dallon's arc in Ward shows that the most important step you can take is the next one, and no matter how many times you walk up and down that road, it never stops being true. And I find that compelling as hell.

[coachs-kit-bag]

I love your advice about dressing in the right gear to get oneself in the mindset to transform into a jock this year.

Any suggestions on a ‘starter pack’ of things that one might need to go down that path?

With your ambition to transform yourself this year, you may have gotten a boost from this recent post on the same topic. Creating a starter pack is an intriguing thought exercise as there are many different routes that one could go down. Happy to help!

1. Jockstrap

I have mentioned on this blog several times that committing to wearing a good jockstrap as daily wear is one of the strongest adaptations an aspiring jock can make. Classic styles (such as the original Bike brand) or increasingly the black Nike model are widely available and good to experiment with.

2. Sports Socks

Secondly, and easily overlooked by many, choosing the right pairs of Socks will keep you grounded in your path. Anything from a basic 5-pack of white Adidas socks will suffice, but, in my experience, you can make sports socks fit with any attire. I often wear knee-length Rugby socks underneath my suits in the workplace or a pair of Nike Elites with casual trainers (graciously gifted by a follower of this blog).

Whatever choice you make, commit yourself and your wardrobe entirely and trust the process.

3. Spandex/Lycra

It will be no surprise for a regular viewer of this blog that I advocate for skintight spandex/lycra within this list. You can even see this as your new 'jock uniform' for a good workout. Under Armour, Nike Pro and Skins Compression are all solid brands, but anything skintight is right by me. At first, you may feel that you need to wear a looser pair of running shorts, but within time you will quickly realise that the more you wear, the more correct it feels to wear alone.

Short-sleeved shirts with shorts, especially in matching or complimentary sets, demonstrate pride in your appearance. In addition, a pair of full-length tights should be in every jock’s wardrobe as standard practice. Once you start collecting, you might find it hard to stop buying, and even resist wearing anything else.

4. Vest

For those moments when you need a loose-fitting, casual look, a vest and short shorts come in handy. Showing the right amount of skin is paramount - you never know when you’ll be called to perform a good flex for the camera. Show off those gains!

5. Cap & Headphones

Lastly, as you requested a real “starter pack” to assimilate yourself fully as a jock - a good cap and pair of headphones will be vital to help you connect to the right frequency, zone out of the mundane and lock in to your goals.

This might seem like a lot at first, but before long you’ll realise just how important your new wardrobe will be!

For more ideas, you can always check the posted tagged “jock” for more inspiration.

For those lured in and wishing to purchase kits for others rather than for themselves, my Ko-Fi is always open and for TF posts you can visit @coachs-locker-room

I would be open to do another one of these starter packs focusing on a specific items, or other sports. Let me know if that interests you or leave a comment if there is something you would recommend.