#but it doesn't make him out of character or implausible.

[pinkopalina]

I hate when other batjokers hate telltale. they like to say it's really out of character but I completely disagree. you're just mad that your favorite comic or movie or show doesn't give you two+ routes and timelines of the same story to show the full intricacy of what their dynamic is, and we do get to have that and appreciate it. and it's exactly what everyone who wants reformed joker to be is, and it's exactly what everyone who doesn't want reformed joker to be is. hating on it is just virtuesignaling that you're a "real fan" to me and real fans don't gatekeep works, losers

[caughtthedarkness93]

Not to do more Furiosaposting (and SPOILERS AHEAD), but a couple more things I noticed on a second viewing:

• I think Dementus is being honest about how he lost his family when Furiosa confronts him about it, and that's a big point the film is making. Furiosa isn't like Dementus when she finally chases him down. But she recognizes that she could become like him - a vile, cruel warlord who uses his own pain as an excuse to run roughshod all over the wasteland, smashing everything in her path, using her pain as an excuse to take from others. By that point, she's already a part of Immortan Joe's war machine. She is already complicit. And he does say to her that killing him won't give her what she wants. She resists the idea, but ultimately, it sure seems like she realizes he's right. And ultimately, that leads to her big choice - make a positive change rather than simply trying to hurt the people who hurt you. Granted, she still does do plenty of hurting the people who hurt her (Nice face you got there, Joe, be a shame if something happened to it). But the big, real legacy she builds is taking the Citadel in the name of a greater cause than fueling Immortan's cult of cruelty.

• Praetorian Jack is also complicit, honestly. And it's something he seems to recognize. He outright says that he's looking for a righteous cause. There's a lot we don't know about this man. He tells us very little of his history, nor do we know why he chooses to ride for Immortan Joe. But we do know that after meeting Furiosa, he wants to do everything in his power to help her. She becomes his righteous cause. So the whole film, Furiosa is kind of pulled between those two directions - Dementus, and Jack. Do you defeat the pain you carry by throwing it back to the people who gave it to you? Or do you seek a righteous cause to build it into something positive?

• Perhaps one of my biggest takeaways is related to Jack's death. It's not until Dementus kills Jack that Furiosa gets really set on revenge. Like she clearly loathes Dementus before that. Her first time meeting him as an adult, she goes straight for her gun. The camera highlights their relationship a lot, and I'm pretty sure her vengeful drive towards him has its own musical motif - listen for that driving, distorted noise that you hear sometimes. But revenge doesn't become her biggest driver until after Jack dies. Even as she feels clear hate and rage towards this man, she's still set on getting home all that time. But when Jack dies, she goes out of her way to try to kill him. And, relatedly, when Jack dies, she loses the arm that has her star map tattoo on it. So to put it another way, when she chooses to commit to vengeance, she loses her way.

• We need to consider perspective and narrator here, as this isn't like Fury Road where it's from the point of view of Max, who was directly there. Because this film's opening shot isn't of Furiosa. It's of another character - it's of the History Man. The first line belongs to him - "As the world falls around us. How must we brave it's cruelties?" The closing narration is his as well. Something that sticks in my head more and more is Dementus' ultimate fate. What gets me about it is that it feels implausible. Not only for Furiosa as a character, but for the way the series usually handles injuries. So George Miller was a paramedic before he was a filmmaker. In fact, his work as a paramedic is what partly inspired the first Mad Max film and what funded it. And in these films, Miller has put his medical knowledge to use. The characters' injuries are usually handled in a realistic way, with a few flights of fancy for people to make it through frankly absurd car wrecks. You see this especially in Fury Road, which takes the time to establish that Max is a universal donor twice so it makes sense to have him give a blood transfusion to Furiosa at the end. It talks about the ultimate effects of her collapsed lung and how to treat it. The injuries in these films feel realistic in a way movie wounds often don't. Dementus' final fate does feel a little complicatedly cruel for someone as pragmatic as Furiosa, but what really gets me is how medically implausible it is. We're supposed to believe that Dementus has been stuck in the citadel with a peach tree growing out of him for five years without dying? I...kinda don't. Why does this matter? I think it signals that aspects of the story fall to unreliable narration. These films are campfire stories from a world that fell and rose again. Always have been. But this one has a more direct narrator. The History Man is telling this story. It is filtered through his perspective.

• And that adds another layer to things, considering Furiosa and the History Man's backgrounds. We see the History Man, we see a guy who is clearly horrified by Dementus' actions. When Furiosa's mom is getting executed, he cries. He tells Furiosa that she needs to make herself indispensable - likely because he feels that it's the best way to protect her. But he still does Dementus' bidding, often without question or argument. In a word, the thing that ultimately separates the History Man from Furiosa is that where he was complicit until the very end, Furiosa chose to rebel.

• And I guess if I had to boil it all down, I think there's a great big takeaway from this film. Don't seek hope. Become hope.

Man, I love this movie.

[steventhusiast]

STWG daily prompt 7/12/23 (i'm late to this)

prompt: black eye

pairing/character(s): steddie

this is part 2, read part 1 here

-

"Yeah, I'm here. I got you, sweetheart."

Eddie's words bring about a lopsided smile to Steve's face, and then his eyes drift back to being closed. He doesn't look like he's asleep, but he's definitely not all there. Distantly, Eddie wonders what good shit they've got Steve on for him to not be sobbing in pain at every movement right now. His black eye is.. difficult to look at.

Once again, Eddie wonders what the fuck happened in the past forty eight hours. He turns to Buckley.

"What happened?" He asks, and Robin narrows her eyes and looks ready to attempt to interrogate him again, so he's quick to continue, "I- I know you have questions, but for now can you just accept that I'm here because I care about him?"

He hopes she ignores the way he's still absently rubbing his thumb in a back-and-forth motion over Steve's arm. Hopes that for now she can dismiss the casual intimacy, and not question why Eddie's one of Steve's emergency contacts. Not while Steve lacks the therewithal to make a decision about coming out or not.

Still looking suspicious, she nods once, and casts a glance to the other side of the room, where the two younger kids are sat together. Eddie follows her gaze to see the young girl is asleep, head resting on Dustin's arm, and Dustin has his eyes resolutely on the door, like he's waiting for a monster to burst through it. He doesn't look fully there.

"We were just finishing the closing duties at work and," Robin starts, and then pauses like she's going over the details in her head, "and there was a late shipment we had to put away in the freezers, but then a fire broke out and we got trapped."

Buckley is a lot of things, but a good liar isn't one of them. Even if she was a good liar, Eddie knows things that make that one sound implausible. Steve hasn't been missing for just one night. It's been two nights. What the fuck happened before the fire? And that's not even considering the logistics of Steve's injuries and how they happened.

"Don't bullshit me." Eddie says quietly, looking down at Steve again, "That makes no sense and you know it. Are you seriously telling me a fire give Steve a black eye and a concussion? These kids just happened to be there?"

His words have Robin looking incredibly nervous, and Dustin straightens a little where he's sat, looking to be actively listening for the first time since Eddie entered the room.

"You have to shut up, man. I don't know who you are, but it. Was. Just. A. Fire." Dustin says, eyes determined, but scared.

"I'm Eddie." Eddie pauses, considering a new possibility that frightens him even more than Steve's injuries, "Did you guys.. Did you get threatened? Whoever did this," he gestures at Steve's face, "are they making you stay quiet? I can help you. I know people."

Dustin sighs and goes back to watching the door, the frightened look in his eyes becoming something haunted. Robin bites her lip, and Steve cracks open his good eye to look at Eddie, tears welling up.

"They w're- Eds, you gotta j'st- leave it be." He tells him, and a tear slips out and down his face, no doubt causing the scratches on his face to sting.

"Stevie. Please. Who hurt you?" Eddie whispers, tears blurring his vision now as he truly takes in his boyfriend. He feels helpless, and he can't even provide comfort the way he wants to because it might not be safe. He doesn't know Robin, not truly. And he doesn't know the kids at all.

Steve makes the decision for him, lifting one shaking, weak hand to clumsily wipe away a tear that's escaped.

"'s okay, Teddy. L've you." He says, and Eddie hates himself a bit. Because Steve's trying to comfort him while he's laying in a hospital bed. Eddie raises his hand to cover Steve's where it still rests on his cheek, supporting and holding it there.

"I love you too." He whispers back after a harsh sniffle, and hears Robin beside him making a noise of understanding.

"Oh, you're his- right." She mumbles to herself, shooting Steve a look to which he gives her a slight smile of confirmation. Eddie raises his eyebrows at the implication. Steve had come out to her?

"Yeah. And if you have a problem with it, well. Like I said, I know people." He tells her, putting on his best bitchy smile as he slowly puts Steve's hand back to rest on the bed. He ignores Steve's noise of complaint to keep eye contact with Robin. He hopes he's being intimidating.

"No need for all that. I know Dorothy too." Robin replies, and Eddie just nods. Feels a bit of the fear inside him deflate.

And then Dustin asks a question, and the little girl at his side rouses from her sleep.

"Who the fuck's Dorothy?"

"Mutual friend." Robin answers, tone clipped.

"Okay. I don't know what I've just woken up to. Who's this wannabe-goth nerd?" The little girl asks, voice full of sass as she raises an eyebrow at Eddie.

How she went from dead asleep to awake-enough-to-roast-him in five seconds, Eddie doesn't know. He narrows his eyes at the insult anyway.

"Eddie Munson. Metalhead extraordinaire, for your information. And you? What's an eight year old doing here?"

"Erica Sinclair. And I'm eleven, you long haired freak."

Eddie gapes at her, and distantly hears Steve giggle. For now, cautiously, he thinks that maybe things will be okay. Eventually.

-

some people asked to be tagged or replied about wanting a part two so i'm tagging: @djohawke @imyelenasexual @y4r3luv @disrespectedgoatman @starxlark @f1inl3ey

[riddlerosehearts]

okay, i'm going to elaborate on what i said about how you can't convince me that deuce spade isn't directly inspired by jim hawkins, because i can't believe i haven't seen anyone talk about it before:

yes, i know deuce is a card soldier. everyone who's ever played twst knows this. however. many of the characters seem to take inspiration from multiple characters and multiple movies. lilia is one of maleficent's armored minions but also has elements of the three fairies, vil is the evil queen but kind of played the role of hercules in book 6, ortho has parallels to both pinocchio and baymax, the cater cinderella theory is a thing, etc.

one of yana toboso's favorite disney movies is treasure planet, so it is not at all implausible that she took inspiration from it for one of her characters.

they're both raised by single mothers. we know nothing about deuce's father iirc, and all we know of jim's father is that he left one day when jim was little and never came back.

deuce used to be a diligent kid who studied hard but became frustrated with his grades not matching the effort he put in, so he stopped trying and became a delinquent.

jim is a smart kid who used to be curious and sweet, but after his father left he changed. he became a delinquent who was failing in school and frequently got in trouble with the police.

jim goes for joyrides on aircrafts called solar surfers and is skilled at building and maintaining them.

deuce goes for joyrides on blastcycles/magical wheels and is also skilled with machinery.

deuce talks about how one day he overheard his mom on the phone with his grandmother, in tears and saying that she must've been a horrible mother because of how deuce turned out. then when he got his letter from NRC he decided he wanted to change so he wouldn't hurt his mom anymore.

in treasure planet, there's a scene where jim overhears his mother talking to dr. doppler about how she's at the end of her rope with jim's behavior and doesn't know what to do anymore because she feels like she's tried everything. then he decides he wants to make things up to her by finding treasure planet.

by the time we meet deuce, he's already cleaned his act up and decided to try and become an honor student so his mother can be proud of him. the end of treasure planet implies that jim has enrolled in the interstellar academy that captain amelia wanted to recommend him to, and in fact the canceled sequel was going to focus on jim's time there.

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

Catra is a Mary Sue.

i can already hear the aggressive clicking of keyboards as fans write an essay on how catra is flawed and therefore not a mary sue. but just stay with me here. here's what TV tropes has to say about this archetype:

“The prototypical Mary Sue is a female character in a fanfic who obviously serves as an idealized version of the author mainly for the purpose of Wish-Fulfillment. She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye color, and has a similarly cool and exotic name. She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting. She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing.”

so.. let's run through the list, shall we? the exotically beautiful thing isn't really mentioned much in canon, but it's clear that catra was designed to be seductive and romantically appealing.

she certainly has her fair share of “unique” features with the heterochromia, the freckles, the fangs, the claws, and her other feline features. this isn't inherently a bad thing. it's okay to want your characters to look cool. besides, some of the other characters also have really defining features (except for adora who, despite being the protagonist, has the blandest character design ever. she doesn't even get a wardrobe change, outside of her new she-ra form. and don't even get me started on bow.)

“she's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas” — this definitely matches up with catra. she is supposedly the "lazy" cadet, the one who only shows up at the end of each training session and doesn't put enough effort into training. now i understand that she may still have had the potential to be a strong fighter, but you really mean to say that a teenager — who is rarely ever shown training or polishing her skills — easily beats up the evil dictator who conquered several regions and likely killed thousands of people?

i get that catra was just exploiting hordak's disability but if it was this easy to defeat hordak, wouldn't someone have done this sooner? even if he is disabled, he had to be intelligent and calculating enough to do what he did so far. but no, that's not the point here. catra didn't defeat hordak because she was somehow stronger or because hordak was weak. she defeated him because the writers wanted her to. she's a girlboss and she doesn't lose to anybody, not even a centuries old tyrant who has presumably conquered half of etheria.

“she also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing.”

yeah, you get the point. she's not flawless but most of her flaws are either swept under the rug or shown to be this cute and endearing thing. oh catra is possessive over adora and attacked her for making new friends? she's just so in love with adora. catra tried to commit mass genocide because of spite? she's just heartbroken because adora dumped her. catra constantly touches people without their consent and borderline harrasses them? she's just a cute disaster lesbian.

so there it is. catra is certainly a heavily flawed character but she's a mary sue (or a "jerk sue" as some people call these type of characters) because no matter what she does or who she hurts, she is forgiven and coddled. no one mentions angella's death in s5, not even glimmer who lashed out at adora earlier for the same reason.

all of catra's actions are just vaguely put as "she made some mistakes" or "she hurt people". making mistakes and hurting people can range anywhere from accidentally calling a person stupid to murdering someone's entire family, and spop doesn't mention where catra lies on that scale. because at the end of the day, all that matters is that catra gets a happy ending at the cost of the other characters' development and happiness. basically, a mary sue is like a blackhole. they are the “best” character, according to the author, and all the characters around them have to act horribly out of character so that this character gets all the spotlight.

[annabtg]

Anna, you’re so right(i love you). It’s so annoying that all these woke yaoi-shipping sjws have taken over the fandom. You cannot put characters like James and Sev through modern lenses(“Snape was a child abuser” teachers were allowed to hit students with rulers at 90s british schools but being a little mean to a troublemaker makes you satan🙄) and understand them fully. You also cannot make James Potter into a bisexual adhd-having MOC and keep true to his character(everything about him relays on him being very privileged in society)

Love, an old man.

I don't know how you can read this post and conclude that my problem is "woke, yaoi-shipping sjws"? My problem is, like I said, the complete lack of reading comprehension skills, of creative and analytical thought and of the ability to empathize with the characters.

Indeed, modern social media seems to favour performative activism, but that's not what fanfic suffers from. I've engaged with fandom enough to understand that the prevalence of non-nuanced takes comes from younger fans who have grown up in a world massively different from the one I grew up in as a millennial with boomer parents.

Nevertheless, I don't think you're doing it right either, my love. Teachers might have been allowed to hit students with rulers in the 70s (they weren't allowed in 90s Greece, though, and I have been informed neither were they in the UK) - and an example of a strict but good teacher in the books is Minerva McGonagall, who would dole out harsh punishments and use her sharp tongue on students, but still gives you the feeling that she cared about them and loved them. That kind of "tough love" was how boomers took care of their kids. Not Snape, who had beef with a student because he didn't like his father. That's fucked up. But the thing is that Snape is supposed to be unlikeable and mean and come off as the villain, to make his arc all the more surprising and impactful. He's supposed to be a fucked up dick who works for the side of good, because the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters.

As for James, I don't think his portrayal as a bisexual ADHD-having MOC is inherently incompatible with his character, even if it's not the authorial intent (indeed, James is supposed to be the picture of privilege). For instance, one aspect of HP I find fascinating is how being a POC doesn't descend into racism in the books - I think there's one single instance of it, where Pansy tells Angelina she's got worms on her head, but that's obviously Pansy being a dick, and other than that there is no casual racism thrown about to people like Dean or Lee or Cho or the Patils. Whether their portrayal is nuanced or stereotypical is a different discussion, but I think it's obvious that we're supposed to take out that if you're a racist wizard, it's not colour that matters, it's blood. James Potter could reasonably be a POC and it wouldn't matter at all in the world he lived in.

That he would struggle with ADHD or sexuality is also not implausible, and in fact I think it makes for very compelling portrayals of him to be going through that in an era-adequate way. Have people around him be annoyed because he just won't sit still, show him confused by his attraction to Sirius and downplaying it with semi-homophobic remarks. I'm personally not so much a fan of a Hogwarts that reads like you're at Pride, but it was the era of hippies, after all?? I think that Hogwarts would be on the conservative side of things, but at the end of the day it *was* the time when queerness started to gain visibility and I understand how people feel at liberty to use that. Everyone seeks to connect to these characters through fic to some degree; for me, who grew up as a gifted (and probably undiagnosed autistic?) kid in a conservative society, the canon portrayal of people like James and Lily and Sirius at Hogwarts resonates enough to keep me intrigued.

I don't lament people trying to project their own struggles with queerness or mental illness or idk just the fun conversations they have with their friends on the Marauders and Hogwarts; what bugs me is when it's being done in a way that cancels canon aphoristically, and you're suddenly idk toxic for shipping Jily because "James was an abuser and Lily had Stockholm Syndrome" - that's not what happened. Showing off like a peacock was the men's standard flirting technique, and playing hard to get was the women's standard flirting technique, and even with that Jily contains a LOT of nuance - and frankly, even through a modern lens I find it very difficult to miss if you have the first idea of reading between the lines. Which is why I keep saying: lack of reading comprehension skills and critical thinking beyond understanding straightforward text messages and cheap quips is the bane of these readers' existence (or, you know, our existence, for having to put up with it).

[marley-manson]

Doctor Winchester Mr Hyde is genuinely a pretty great episode.

Loved Hawkeye telling Winchester he's been there and it sucks, love him showing concern for Charles multiple times and being particularly joke-free about it in the ending tag, love Charles asking him to proofread a paper lol. Loooove Hawkeye's fear of mice and especially love him basically showing off that fear when he asks to pet Daisy for luck in front of the marines and makes a show of cringing. And BJ automatically doing the thing certain people do when they find out you're scared of something and shove it in your face to make you freak out lmao, that's exactly correct for him.

Charles demanding Radar go fetch his opera glasses when he's about to dose the mouse, and then in the next scene he actually is watching the race through binoculars was an amazing detail lol.

Also I overall liked the way Charles taking speed was handled - the ending was a little DARE-esque ofc, but generally it was a pretty light and funny touch. Klinger directly asking for them (with 0 narrative condemnation) only for Charles to condescend and then take them himself was great, as was this exchange between them: "Do you want extreme depression, chronic fatigue?" "I already got those!" a+

The drugs actually helping Charles for a while was solid and there was little in the way of overtly impared behaviour which I like - more sold by little details, like Hawkeye mentioning that Charles' 27 page paper seems to be all one sentence.

First mention of Honoria is her marrying 2 dudes in succession and getting ostracized from the family which doesn't seem to fit later mentions unless she divorced second dude and was welcomed back, which tbf isn't implausible lol. Though I don't really remember, so maybe it's possible that Honoria is the family black sheep and only Charles remains in touch with her, which would be interesting.

Last time I watched I had the minor complaint that Hawkeye and co admit to the marines that their mouse was on speed and I considered that annoying when My Hawkeye(TM) happily cheats to win competitions against random army guys ie Requiem for a Lightweight - buuut to be fair to the episode he did say they should "give the marines their money back while we're still alive" suggesting he thinks they might find out they were cheated? I don't see how lol, and it's still a little too moralistic cheating is wrong-esque for me, but I'll accept it as an explanation that keeps Hawkeye ic for me.

Anyway yeah, solidly written, good dialogue, good character moments, little oasis in this chunk of season 6.

[vinnieswife]

♡° Protective Teyam

Neteyam x fem! na’vi! reader

words: 963

warnings: ey’nem basically (Invented name!)

author’s note: I like this thrope way to much

Carefully you began to grind the leaves that Mo'at had entrusted to you, your mind recalling the faint memory of a tall man who bumped into you on the first day of practice. It seems implausible to forget the incident no matter how hard you try, you lick your lips as you feel your heart pounding in your chest. As the village festivities mark the time of his arrival, Neteyam enters through the curtain of the hut, heading towards the stretcher to rest a wounded man on the mission. It has been a month since you started working here and every day, except the first, you had settled into the habit of coming to your place of work to observe the practices.

Something in your heart made you believe that he possessed feelings for you, but his blank stare and infamous attitude had made you change your mind. You sighed heavily and after getting the perfect texture for the ointment, you moved on to cleaning up. While you were wiping the table with a cloth, you can't help but look at Neteyam sitting on the nearest stretcher. "Aren't you working too hard?" Ey'nem comes out of the kitchen with a bowl of water in hand, offering you a sweet smile.

"It's alright" You smile gratefully at him, but you feel Neteyam's orange orbs settle on you, looking unsure. "No, you'd hurt your back and what are you taking a day off for," he puts the bowl in your hand. "Take it and go rest while we have less visitors", Ey'nem said as he wraps his hand around your shoulder. You gasp at his sudden touch, which sends uncomfortable sensations down your spine, and a huge lump forms in your throat. "N-No, it's-it's okay really." You tried to sketch a smile, but his hand, running down your back, threatens your confidence and your dignity at the same time.

"Your hand, keep it away..... please," you stammer between his jerks as Ey'nem squeezes your waist in a disgusted manner but doesn't cease with his movements until a strong hand pulls him away from you. "She told you to keep your fucking hands away didn't she," Neteyam's gaze pierces his soul as his gaze shifts to the tall man pulling away from you.

"And who are you to tell me that?", ey'nem dares to make his way into the conversation as you gape at the strength of his character. "Her boyfriend. For now, you only know this because I’m sure as hell don't want to know everything about me," Neteyam twists his grip on Ey'nem's wrist sending his skin into deep pain.

"S-she didn't tell me that," he hisses through the pain that destroys his calm, but Neteyam only intensifies the tension in his wrist. "Even if a woman is alone, that doesn't give men like you the right to touch them like that and make them uncomfortable," He spares no words and gives his hand a firm squeeze before releasing him from his grip and Ey'nem walked out of the hut without a word.

Neteyam's eyes search yours for a moment, you stand in absolute silence, struck by an irrepressible desire to linger your gazes on each other before he licks his lips. "Are you okay?" he blinks looking at you with his worried eyes that you never thought could hold such sincere emotion until this moment.

"Yes... I'm fine. Thank you for helping me Neteyam...", You hold your breath as he stares into your soul, it had never occurred to you that his eyes on you felt like the rapturous wind as it blew with your ikran, this made you feel important and special. Neteyam brings you closer, being held by an admiration ,deep, firm and engraved in his heart for all these months, from the moment he looked at you in his grandmother's hut and started looking for you from then on, he even made some small wound just to see you. "I want you to stay safe because I can't be present everywhere with you ....okay?", he leaned to look at you, but his words only intensified the emotions bringing your heart tense to the brink.

"So you want to be with me always huh?", You feel your heart pour out all the affection you have kept on edge while both of you are alone in the hut. Neteyam feels the speed of the world around him slow down at your words, his emotions are released from his mind and reflected in the irresistible gleam in your eyes. His posture softens, as does his heart, before closing the distance between your bodies. You freeze in place as his hands cup your face along your jaw to kiss you lovingly, in awe, but the stirring sparks that erupt throughout your body reclaim your soul to soften his lips at the same time.

Right at the line of your lips, you felt him melt into a doughy embrace as your hands encircle his neck. Neteyam feels most alive at this moment, when he breaks all barriers to contain his heart and shows his feelings in the most passionate way. He broke the kiss just to stare into your eyes. "That's what I've been wanting to do all these months ago but I knew you wouldn't want the same because of how others might see us," His voice is honeyed.

"Neteyam, I know you are good at heart and the clan's opinion doesn't matter to me… I see you teyam" You hold his hands still caressing your cheeks, still unable to believe that your feelings were reciprocated. "I see you (y/n)" You smiled softly, fixing your eyes on his, you moved slightly closer, not making him feel distant from your warmth and body. You had captured Neteyam completely, holding his heart in your hands.

[joyburble]

The crowns

OK, you got me. Here we go. Dongfang Qingcang's headgear. In episodes 2 and 3 he wears a very large, gold crown with a complicated shape that matches the armour and looks like tree roots.

The texture of the gown worn under this is rather gorgeous. (Obviosuly, none of what we call "armour" in this show is supposed to look at all like physical protective gear, and he doesn't usually bother with it just for fighting, so I just assume that its primary function is ceremonial, but I also like the idea that it acts as some sort of conductor for magic shrapnel flying around on a magic battlefield, like a Faraday cage or something. You know what, I'm going to call this the Faraday Crown because we'll see it again).

When he realises he's going to have to get down to the much more difficult business of having arguments with Xiao Lanhua, he changes into something more comfortable which includes this very modest little hair-clip-style tiara. He partially wins this argument:

He continues to wear this one with all three black-and-gold outfits right through the duelling and drama:

... as well as being baffled in boats, twice, and being back, at the start of episode 10 ...

... Except when he is wearing the hunting dress, which has its own slightly more elaborate headpiece with a stalk that sticks up.

In passing, let me point out how much of this show works because Wang Hedi's face is intrinsically hilarious. But anyway, I'm pretty sure he wears this same one with the honey-coloured gown.

So that puts this medium-sized, somewhat plain, but in my opinion rather elegant headpiece with the two outfits in which the character looks and feels most comfortable and 'at home': whether because he's doing something he feels comfortable with, like forest shenanigans, barbecuing fish, or burning down the hall at Haishi (the hunting dress), or because it's the calm before the storm (the honey gown).

As things start to go haywire, his outfits get more magnificent and he wears what sassybluee has pointed out is the Berry Crown, an extremely pretty asymmetrical tiara with little touches of blue, like berries:

He wears this with the Chrysalis Gown and with the Fire Gown, through the process of transformation.

In later episodes, as he's under increasing pressure, his look goes right through magnificent into downright ugly. This outfit in epiosde 28 is just awful:

It does make sense if you think he's trying to increase his physical authority by looking heavier around the waist, but it doesn't work. The honey-coloured gown does a much better job of that, just by looking soft and comfortable and incidentally very sexy.

But wait - is this the same crown he was wearing with his armour in episode 2? I think it is.

And immediately after this, in the next scene, and without any explanation, we see that he's taken it off - to have an argument with Xiao Lanhua. This is the second time he has taken this specific crown off to do that specific thing, and this time it leaves him, shockingly, bareheaded:

Which we know he never is, except when sleeping, or playing sick for attention, or in so much pain that the Berry Crown symbolically fell off and we got the shot of it on the floor, above.

He loses the argument. It's very real.

To wrestle with Taisui for the first time and to fight Shiyuntian in episode 31, he is back in full battle dress, with the Faraday crown (and the same belt, which makes so much more visual sense with the armour):

In episode 33, however, the transformation is truly complete, and he wears this mourning tiara, which looks carved from unpolished jet, and points downwards, not up. I don't think we've see it before:

Then, he puts the Faraday Crown on again for the final battle, which is obviously worth the extra ceremony. It would be impractical to show him actually putting it on, of course, because this isn't the right moment for that level of visual implausibility, but his having just done so is implied in this very touching scene:

It disappears, however, during the battle, and he is bareheaded again:

And for their joint victory, bareheaded and wearing a very plain black robe (but still with an interesting subtle damask pattern to it)

For being back the second time around, he resumes the rather modest little tiara he wore in episodes 3 to 10 at Arbiter Hall, and for being back the first time. I was a bit thrown by this outfit choice on the first watch, but on reflection I think it's probably the correct degree of ceremony for snogging your goddess:

So I think we are to accept that these things are to differing degrees disguises, but never wholly a disguise.

Nevertheless, here is The Evil Penguin Disguised As A Chicken, because it makes the point about headgear better than anything ever did, and if you are too young to get this joke, you should definitely watch The Wrong Trousers. It's only about 20 minutes long.

[blood-orange-juice]

Wake up darlings, it's time for my weekly rant about genshin plot.

I remembered a Russian idiom for what's happening there, "a piano in the bushes".

A type of contrived coincidence that only exists to advance the plot while not exactly being implausible (a piano can indeed sometimes be found in the bushes. maybe someone threw it out. maybe we are in a park that installed musical instruments for the public).

It was derived from a 60s comedy sketch about Soviet cinema clichés where a character kept finding somewhat improbable opportunities to show off during the course of a conversation. The sketch ended on "completely accidentally there's a piano in the bushes. I can play for you."

General consensus is that exactly one piano per story is allowed. Coincidences do happen and sometimes you need one to write yourself out of a corner.

My problem with 4.2 is not that it didn't explain things, it's that it retrospectively turned 4.0 into a whole assortment of pianos in the most unexpected places.

Childe's vision conveniently stopped working right as we were around (note that it's not the malfunction that worries me, it's the fact that we got to see it).

He oh-so-conveniently handed it over to us so that we could see things about him in the next patch.

The whale was conveniently Just There because it was sad and hungry.

Someone decided to frame our boy for a serial murders case that started around his birth and — lo and behold! — he turned out to be exactly that person for whom Oratrice decided to "malfunction". Giving us proof that the Hydro Archon is not in fact an Archon.

Could all of that happen? Absolutely, it doesn't contradict anything, we even got it somewhat explained. Pianos do sometimes make their nests in the bushes.

However, it all looked like an interconnected meaningful story before 4.2 and turned into a random assortment of episodes after 4.2. That's an extremely bizarre storytelling approach, if you ask me.

Having said that, I now also have an idea of how it can be fixed: maybe Teyvat fate (or whatever Childe's abyssal abilities do to fate) just Works Like That. Pulls elements into a samsara when they get close, regardless of whether they make sense or not.

The story must be played out and it will be played out, everyone and everything are just props. The show must go on.

(this will be my new headcanon because I desperately need things to make sense. here. I ran away with these characters)

And maybe chaos just blossoms in this boy's footsteps, disrupting stories he finds himself in. Maybe he doesn't even need to do anything, it simply happens.

[anndramarama]

Dihua fic recipe. Suitable for beginner and experienced cooks.

Add Li Lianhua's fear of intimacy and Di Feisheng's lack of boundaries to a medium saucepan with a generous tablespoon of the self-loathing/anger/guilt felt by both parties regarding 1) their past failures and 2) the helplessness brought on by corruption and betrayal within their martial organizations.

Whisk aggressively.

Keep in mind that both ingredients are touch-starved martial geniuses who struggled to tell the difference between sexual attraction and the impulse to fight nearly to the death.

As orphans whose education was incomplete or completely lacking, you might assert that these ingredients should not be served together at the same banquet, let alone combined in such a way, but be patient and trust the recipe even if it's hard at the start.

Di Feisheng in particular will constantly assert that he wants to be "on top" and not know what that means or why it makes Li Xiangyi's eyes flash and cheeks turn pink before he fights him harder, ever harder.

Li Xiangyi will be baffled when their relationship doesn't seem to change no matter how many brain-breaking orgasms he wrings out of the other man, or how many kisses are shared, and will arrange several more negotiations and secret meetings than strictly necessary to try to establish the ultimate, final, total, and most all-encompassing peace the jianghu has ever seen.

But don't worry: Li Xiangyi's bafflement and Di Feisheng's trauma-induced cluelessness are complementary flavors that will only add spice to the dish.

When you get to the point where you're tired of stirring it will still be almost impossible to keep them from separating in the pan, so don't even try. In fact it is essential to the recipe that their essences separate and come together continually in a clash of swords, an exchange of looks, and other forms of rough, suggestive touching.

(Give up on plot at this point. You don't need that, it's expensive, and hardly anyone will notice. You can throw in some implausible machinations by side characters later if you're concerned.)

Next, add two cups of salted water and bring to a roaring boil. Reduce heat, cover, and let simmer for ten years.

Ignore any sounds of anguish that escape the pan. This is a necessary step that lets them work things out, if only mentally and in the form of heated, yearning nightmares (Li Xiangyi) and repetitive, dissociative hallucinations that for anyone else would be indistinguishable from pining (Di Feisheng).

Finally, uncover and get ready to plate.

At this point both ingredients' idealism, which could barely be detected as a standalone flavor to begin with, should assert itself and almost dazzle the senses, if only briefly. As they slowly re-enter the world together that synchronicity will bring with it a renewed appreciation for life, for gentleness and roughness as appropriate, for tantalizing secrets and lies, and extra time for boning behind closed doors. They will feel young together, and then they will feel middle-aged; Di Feisheng will let himself feel real emotions and, watching him both in and out of bed, Li Xiangyi -- now Li Lianhua -- will wish he had more time.

Add a dash of Fang Duobing at the end, but keep in mind that he isn't just there for garnish: when introduced in the right amounts Fang Duobing can add to the flavor and complexity of the dish, particularly by improving its general sweetness and, for the two main ingredients, he adds an extra note of innocence tempered by regret, sacrifice, and love.

Serve with wedding wine, in secret, under a crescent moon on a day that no one else knows is auspicious.

[saintsenara]

I don't know if you are still doing the ship game. What do you think about Drarry? I apologise if you have already answered it- I tried to see if someone else has asked but I may have missed your response. It's a very popular ship and there are lots of well written fics by incredibly talented authors that I have enjoyed. But when I take that aside and look at the pairing just on its own, I struggle to articulate my thoughts on what I actually think about the pairing.

thank you for the ask @sarafina-sincerity!

i do read drarry, but i think it's probably fair to say that i don't read drarry because i expect it to make sense.

i like it fluffy and stupid, to be enjoyed after a hard day at work when i want something which is crammed full of fuck-buddies-to-oh-wait-this-is-serious tropes which doesn't require too much effort to engage with.

and so the fics i tend to read aren't drarry which really grapples with exactly how difficult it can be to make harry and draco work as a stable couple while still feeling true to their canon characters.

[they're not fics which dive into how they would be as an unstable couple either, which is - frankly - because i prefer to see harry in toxic messes with other people.]

i like a bit of of out-of-character nonsense - i love to tune into a fic in which draco is assertive and witty and sophisticated [even though in the books he's an insecure little bitch whose jokes always flop] and harry is passive, preternaturally adoring, and speaks like a therapist [even though in the books he's a reckless feral cat with the emotional awareness of cardboard], or ron and hermione come around to it really quickly. i think they're fun!

but arguing that drarry could make sense as a happy relationship when the characters are as they are in canon is difficult. indeed - with my apologies to drarry-is-canon nation - i think that it's even more difficult than making many of the completely implausible-sounding harry-centric pairings work [and, indeed, draco-centric pairings, taco nation rise up]. and i think it's worth dissecting why.

the first reason is that, much as umbridge is often the villain that readers have the most visceral reaction to [and much as the thing about snape which seems to most upset readers is that he's a horrible teacher], the fact that draco is just some guy at school actually makes the pairing harder. unlike something like snarry - in which a semi-mystical connection between the two is set up by the narrative - or tomarry - in which an overtly mystical connection is - drarry is just two lads who don’t really get on.

indeed, despite a tendency to explain their vibe in the books as sexual tension, harry gives no indication of particularly caring about draco as a person while they're at school. he thinks he’s annoying, pretentious, rude, and cowardly, but - outside of half-blood prince - he's not ever actually shown to escalate those feelings into being particularly obsessed with him. harry doesn't watch draco constantly, or follow him around, or devote a huge amount of time to thinking about him when they're not together for reasons which aren't directly connected to his perception of draco as a bigot whom he loathes. the reason why he remembers so many details about him is because he wants to see him and his father punished, not because he finds him compelling.

even in half-blood prince, harry's obsession with draco is broadly external to the man himself - it's rooted in his attempts to block out his grief over sirius, his anger at the death eaters who killed his godfather [lucius malfoy among them], his suspicion of snape, and the things he's learning about tom riddle.

draco, though, is obsessed with him. harry spends seven years living rent free in his head: he tracks his movements, he can barely make it through the day without seeking him out to try and get some attention from him, and he clearly talks about him all the time [he needs no prompting from "crabbe" and "goyle" to bring him up during the polyjuice scene in chamber of secrets, for example].

he also obviously has some level of respect for harry - he acknowledges, even if it's through complaining to his father, that he's a good quidditch player, for instance - and, by the end of the series, he clearly does regard harry as brave. whereas, when it comes to more positive emotions, harry pities draco, but he never seems to like or admire him.

[and it's striking that - since i see a lot the idea that drarry is more plausible than hinny as a pairing - harry takes exactly the same view of draco's relationship to voldemort as he does to ginny's. he regards draco as someone who should be protected from voldemort, but doesn't regard him as someone who could fight back or who should be acknowledged as talented in his own right. despite the fact that, for example, he knows draco's a competent occlumens.]

as a result, i always prefer drarry in which draco is the more feral one, but the default dynamic seems to have harry chasing him, rather than the other way round. i would also like to see more authors work with how likely draco would be to put up for long with having such an obvious interest in a man who is likely to be paternalistic towards him in return

[and also a man who's quite likely to expect to become his partner's priority, rather than the other way round. one issue with a lot of harry’s relationships, whether his canonical one with ginny or a fanon alternative, is that the role he occupies in the story means that he tends to relate to people he knows not as equals but either as people he needs to protect or people he needs to protect others from. in a relationship with draco, he is likely to pivot from the latter to the former, and i can't imagine that draco - who thinks of himself as a protector as well, especially in his relationship with his mother - is going to particularly enjoy this. this is why i like middle-aged, have had decades to calm down, widowed or divorced drarry - it feels like it has more chance of being equal than the school-age or immediately post-war stuff.]

harry's indifference-bordering-on-dislike towards draco does stand in contrast to how he thinks about other male characters that he's frequently paired with. to return to snarry and tomarry, harry is shown to admire snape at numerous points prior to the end of half-blood prince, his interest in the prince's textbook reveals that he and snape have a shared intellectual compatibility, and - above all - harry understands and empathises with snape's background and experiences. similarly, harry is shown to admire voldemort at numerous points, the narrative sets them up as being very similar, and - above all - harry understands and empathises with voldemort's background and experiences.

[harry is also obviously physically attracted to tom riddle, while draco isn't - although this is, of course, not an insurmountable issue - obviously his type. the men harry finds attractive in canon are all tall, thin, and dark-haired, and draco is always described by the narrative in terms which suggest that harry thinks he's ugly (the frequent description of him as "sleek" or "gleaming" is an insult in context). the same is true for lucius malfoy.]

i think that one explanation for the above is that a lack of shared background is one of the major stumbling blocks to drarry which doesn't exist in the other two pairings.

i love an auror partners trope-fic as much as any other girl, but - in reality - draco never needs to work and never gives the impression of being career-minded or finding career ambition valuable. harry is certainly rich enough not to need to work - and the fact that he has a pureblood name and resembles his pureblood father gives him an amount of class protection in the wizarding world which means that drarry is nowhere near as socially unequal as something like dramione - but he evidently finds the idea of working valuable, not least because he wants to achieve recognition for something other than being the boy-who-lived.

but draco - who likes being thought special on the basis of unearned things like his family name - would struggle to understand this. and, in return, harry would struggle to understand how draco's adult life - something i suspect he would see as one of tedious luxury - is driven by a sense of conformist duty to his family and his peers. after all, harry believes in the value of found family and earned loyalty, and loathes any expectation that he should be deferential to people just because of who they are.

of course, i don't think this would prevent them being together. it would just cause a tension which would either see everything crash and burn [hot] or which would require growth from both characters which takes a certain lightness of touch to pull off. there are lots of drarry authors who do one or both of these in their works, of course. but those authors are very rarely trying to portray harry and draco as [to begin with, at least] a good or healthy couple…

but with this said, i also think that some common criticisms of drarry wouldn't actually be a big deal to either harry or draco.

the most significant of these is the fact that harry is morally righteous - yes - but this manifests itself in an expectation of loyalty from other people, but not an expectation of purity.

in post-war drarry, i think it's entirely reasonable to say that harry's belief that the malfoys turned against voldemort because of loyalty to each other [something he finds valuable, and clearly considers to be the appropriate way for a family unit to behave - look at what he thinks of percy weasley, for example], as well as lucius malfoy's extra-canonical willingness to help harry and the ministry by informing on all his former associates [which, according to jkr, results in him being spared azkaban and harry thinking that's fine] enables him to let go of draco's past, and to have a relationship without the weight of that history hanging over them. i don't think he ever becomes fond of lucius - although i think he is likely to feel slightly more warmth towards narcissa - but i also don't think he would expect draco to estrange himself from his family or completely change as a person in order to consider him worthy of his affection.

[this is, for what it's worth, something which makes dramione much more implausible for me - even if draco is capable of redemption (which, like everyone, he is), i don't think she's ever forgiving him or considering him changed enough to be worthy of her, and i don't think she should have to.]

draco may not, however, consider this acceptance to be as much of a gift as harry might - above all because i believe sincerely that harry would never feel bad about the sectumsempra incident. draco is clearly someone who holds grudges, and i think that this would always be in quite profound tension with harry's remarkable [but also entirely self-interested] ability to decide he's going to let things go.

i also think that harry is going to be able to handle draco's more negative characteristics better than he’s sometimes given credit for, since all of them - especially his tendency towards jealousy, self-aggrandisement, and moping - are things he shares with ron. and, like ron, i think draco is going to be surprisingly good at dealing with harry's impulsivity, his tendency to brood, and tendency to form knee-jerk judgements. these seemingly opposing personality traits are actually quite nicely balanced.

and, of course, the big one: love is strange and unpredictable; forgiveness can be easy just as often as it can be difficult; everyone is capable of redemption; people can choose to be together despite significant odds against them; choice is much more interesting than fate; and fluffy drarry is unbelievably entertaining.

my final statement, though? people are sleeping on dron. ron and draco have all the right ingredients - above all, the fact that they're narrative mirrors - which makes things like snack bang. the potential for drama and intrigue and destabilising love is right there. harry simply cannot compete.

[paragonrobits]

given the heavy amount of inherent romantic subtext between Fionna and Ice Prince and thus by definition Simon Petrikov (as, even more than Winter King, Ice Prince feels a LOT like an idealized depiction of Simon at his most fancy and subdued sophistication and has no real signs of Ice King at all except for the magic jewels on his cape), I think its not implausible that we're meant to see some kind of romantic vibe or possibility between them

and in particular, Fionna has a few similarities towards Betty that's interesting in this regard; she has a similar impulsive attitude that ultimately drives the plot and her decisions keep forcing Simon out of his passive box, and she has more than a few verbal quirks that are specifically thinks Betty says: compare Betty time traveling and declaring 'I'm leaving past you for now you, dum-dum!" with Fionna bonking him on the head and making him think straight while also calling him dum-dum, which I don't recall anyone else saying.

So with this in mind, what are we to think? Is this deliberate in-universe? It's pretty likely that if it is, it might be coincidental; I don't think you can ENTIRELY rule out Golbetty pushing Fionna in this direction, though I don't know if it sounds right for Golbetty to essentially make Fionna a substitute for her, especially since their character arcs aren't aligned in finding substitutes

what I think IS happening is that both of them have personalities that lean in that general direction; its clear that Fionna is at least interested in the sort of personality Ice Prince represents; the calm and literally cool sophisticated gentleman, which also lines up with Hunter's character, though he's more of a blue collar variation. It's likely that this sort of guy is her type as far as men-aligned people go. (Which makes a contrast given that she gives the impression she still hates baths and probably smells of wet beef, but horrible gremlin x sophisticated gentlefolk IS an excellent character contrast)

Simon is a bit harder to gauge in this direction; we only really have Betty as an established person he was personally interested in. However, we CAN make some guesses with Ice King and the princesses he tried to pursue, most obviously Bubblegum (who might also be the one he pursued the most because she has quite a few things in common with Betty), but from the other princesses he tended to fixate on, there's a few common elements. They tend to be highly intelligent (which, no offense to Fionna, but she IS a Finn variant so... emotional intelligence perhaps but not really a brainlord), very assertive (yeah), impulsive (oh yeah) and even physically powerful (and while Fionna doesn't quite have the power to match up her bravado, she WANTS to); she does map up pretty well to the sort of people Simon has fixated on while he was Ice King.

with this in mind if Golbetty's intent WAS to set them up for whatever reason or get them to move on, respectively, it probably wasn't the most sensible decision given that any crossover romance is the most extreme long distance relationship imaginable but also that DOES sound like a Betty plan. good intention I guess!

[windriverdelta]

On the Grand Northern Conspiracy

Somehow I have been thinking a lot about the Grand Northern Conspiracy, an ASOIAF fan theory that posits that in AFFC/ADWD the lords of the North and Riverlands are plotting to install Jon Snow as King in the North. Well, no time like present to write a comment.

TL;DR I find it extremely implausible and would very surprised if TWOW featured anything even resembling that. It's a far-fetched conspiracy theory.

First of all, as other people like @turtle-paced have pointed out, there are lots of barriers to communication between the supposed conspirators and no evidence that they could coordinate their actions. Now, there is evidence in Arya's ASOS chapters that the Brotherhood Without Banners has contacts to the Riverlords and one wonders if Jaime Lannister in AFFC is being deliberately steered to Brienne, but that doesn't mean the Northerners can do the same.

Second, where is the set-up for the Northern lords using Stannis like that? Late Walder Frey is amply established as a traitor, opportunist and oathbreaker two books before the Red Wedding, there is no foreshadowing at all for Mormont, mountain clans etc. This isn't Game of Thrones, spectacular betrayals do not come out of thin air in ASOIAF. In this context, it's worth noting that foreshadowing in ASOIAF usually takes the form of a few unambiguous meaningful events, not a lot of very ambiguous little things that can interpreted in multiple ways like the infamous "Corn Code"

Three, Jon Snow does not work very well as a fulcrum for such a conspiracy. Ignoring for a moment that nobody has bothered getting his buy-in for such a plot (what if he deems it dishonourable and sleazy and ices out all the participants?), there is no indication that any physical copy of Robb's will survived the Red Wedding. Remember, the various lords and ladies are referred to as its "witnesses", and most of them are now prisoners of the Freys. Look at it from a character's perspective: Two lords who somehow survived the Red Wedding, claiming that Robb wanted to make Jon king. Why would anyone believe them? Especially Jon Snow, who knows in ADWD that Robb was killed by his own men, he has no reason at all to trust Maege or Galbart. And without the will, Jon Snow would just be an usurper and deserter from the Night's Watch.

Narrative-wise, I don't see much foreshadowing of Jon being king in the north in the main series - all so-called "foreshadowing" I've seen are ambiguous allusions or far-fetched interpretations. I see no thematic or character purpose, either - I tend to think that R+L=J, the three dragons and his assassination lead into him being a dragonrider and fighter against the Others. In my opinion, the political side of the Northern storyline is Sansa and Stannis' job. And there is plenty of potential conflict around them without the need for a king in the north scheme.

But the big sticking point is that the actions of many of the supposed conspirators don't fit with theory. Just to cite a few examples:

Lady Stoneheart is not crowning Jon with anything but a noose, not in a million years, there is no evidence whatsoever that she's anything but a revenge zombie.

Wyman Manderly is entrusting Rickon Stark to consummate Stannis loyalist Davos Seaworth, which makes no sense at all if he planned to betray Stannis later - why would he risk Rickon becoming Stannis' hostage?

We have no reason to believe that Barbrey Dustin is lying about not liking the Starks - for one thing, Dustin troops are noticeable by their absence for the War of Five Kings, true to her word. She'll probably jump ship if Roose falls, but that's not the same thing as becoming a Stark restorationist. In fact, I could see her supporting Stannis to take the Starks down a peg.

People keep citing Lyanna Mormont's defiant letter to Stannis as proof of Bear Island not being truly on his side, but not only is she (as Jon points out) not in charge of House Mormont, we later see Alysane marching with Stannis. She almost certainly is in contact with Maege given her comments to Asha about her family; I doubt that this is a right hand vs left hand situation. I am not even sure that she has much of a retinue, either - the problem with Rickon above may exist here too. Finally, recall that in AGOT Maege challenged Robb, telling him that he was so young as to have no business giving her commands. The Mormonts don't let anyone boss them around, that doesn't mean that they are Frey Lite.

In short, this theory requires lots of poorly foreshadowed OOC behaviour to enable a rather pointless political ploy that doesn't fit the narrative very well.

[ofduskanddreams]

On rarepairs vs. crack ships.

This is something that I've noticed ever since I joined the fandom, but recent events have finally prompted me to make this post: Azris (Azriel x Eris Vanserra) is not a crack ship. They are a rarepair—a ship that makes up only a small portion of the total fanworks.

A crack ship, as defined by Fanlore, is "a ship that is highly ridiculous, bizarre, disturbing, and/or unlikely to ever become canon. The characters don't have any chemistry, never interact, are in different canons or timelines, are different species, one is an inanimate object, etc."

I think the most common reason Azris is mislabeled as a crack ship is simply that people aren't aware of the difference or the connotations that the term "crack ship" may carry. I wanted to make this post to help clarify things.

I agree that Azris is unlikely to ever become canon because the books make it clear that SJM has other plans. (I don’t want them to be canon, but that’s my personal opinion.) However, this doesn't mean Azris is canonically implausible as the universe currently stands. Eris and Azriel have several significant interactions in the series. If SJM were to hand the series off to another writer who wanted to make Azris happen, the building blocks would already be there.

Eris catches Azriel spying in Autumn and the following day he meets with Rhys, Kier, Azriel, Mor, and Feyre in the Hewn City to forge an alliance. (ACOWAR CH. 26)

The infamous High Lords meeting where we learn just how intense Azriel's hatred of Eris is. (ACOWAR CH. 45)

Cassian and Azriel tracking Eris across the Continent when he's captured by Briallyn, culminating in Azriel rescuing Eris from Koschei and the mortal queen and bringing him back to the Night Court. (ACOSF CH. 64 - 71)

This isn't an exhaustive list, just a few examples. Azriel and Eris also have a shared history stretching back centuries before the books take place. On the point of chemistry—hatred is a passionate emotion and the series makes the animosity between Azriel and Eris very clear. Enemies to lovers is one of the most popular romance tropes for a reason, I don't think I need to elaborate on that point.

That covers the "unlikely to ever become canon," "never interact," and "don't have any chemistry" portions of the definition.

The "highly ridiculous, bizarre, disturbing" part of the definition is where the negative connotations may come into play. (I'm going to branch out from just Azris now.) Again, I'm fairly confident that the majority of the fandom is unaware that "crack ship" carries these implications. I would certainly hope that people aren't willfully misusing the term to denigrate certain ships.

In this fandom specifically, where all of the major canon ships are M/F and the vast majority of fanworks are also primarily dedicated to het pairings, the distinction between crack ships and rarepairs is vital to help build and maintain an inclusive community.

Queer ships in this fandom (Emorie, Gwynlain, Azris, Cazriel etc.) are often called crack ships when they are, in fact, rarepairs. Again, I really hope that this is primarily due to a misunderstanding of the terms. It hurts to see a rarepair in which you see yourself and your relationships represented being associated with the terms ridiculous, bizarre, and disturbing. It will hurt regardless of the intention of the person using the term.

tl;dr just be mindful of your words.

A/N: this post expresses my views on the issue. if my content is associated with those who do not share them, know that my content is there against my wishes.

[saltygilmores]

"Vineyard Valentine" is inarguably the most despised episode of Gilmore Girls, I haven't seen it in years and remember nothing. I'm in the mood for a little Hate Watch.

I've been sufficiently warned. Godspeed, SaltyGilmores.

Minute 10 Update: This show is SO DULL WITHOUT DEAN AND JESS. May the merciful gods of fictional teen dramas forgive me for saying that I miss Dean's shenanigans. Rory insists that Lorelai will "have her wedding". Lorelai Gilmore, did not in fact, have her wedding. I find myself saying eh, Logan is kinda cute I guess? The Logan Slogan: "At Least He's Not Dean" Lorelai says Luke ranted about how Valentine's Day is a corporate greeting card holiday and I'm bummed I did not get to hear the full nuclear rant. Rory's associate at the Yale paper points out that they accidentally printed "S&M" in the paper, and Rory says that's funny, pretending she knows what S&M is. Minute 15 Update: After Lorelai sees this word "spermaceti" in a brochure, she makes like 7 jokes about it over the course of minutes. She also thinks the name "Gay Head" is just deliriously funny. Luke wants to know "where we (he and Lorelai) stand" with his girlfriend's daughter's boyfriend, because that's a normal thing to be concerned about. Luke expresses concern that Rory and Logan might break up during the trip and that their noisy sex (!!!) will keep him awake at night. Some grainy old footage of a seashore that may or may not actually be Martha's Vineyard flashes across the screen, so we feel like we're right there in the middle of the impending shit show with our favorite characters. Minute 20 Update: For the second time, Luke expresses concern that he's going to hear Rory and Logan going at it like wild dogs. Out in the living room, no less. Luke says "okuh" (TWICE!) in a way that would make his nephew proud. Rory tells Lorelai, "its a little weird being in a foursome." Luke makes an incredibly weak pitch to Lorelai about how she's not concerned that Logan "embarrasses Rory". She reacts with a shrug. Luke packed a giant knife in his suitcase, not unlike his nephew before going on one of his killing sprees. Lorelai asks Luke why he packed a "back country" bag full of wilderness supply and he replies "he didn't know what this weekend was". Um? At what point did this show turn Luke into such a drooling moron that he doesn't even know what a beach is? Jesus on crackers and toast. Things Luke is unhappy about: Real estate prices, the temperature, the waves are too loud, the beach smells like sewage. Luke threatens to filet a noisy racoon with his giant murder knife. Minute 25 Update: Rory and Logan like to hit the gym, even though I have no memory of Rory mentioning going to a gym any other time in the entire 7 years this show was on the air and in fact the idea of Rory Gilmore happily and voluntarily working out a a gym is one of the most implausible things I've ever dang heard. However, when we see Lorelai and Rory visit the gym a moment later, it appears that Rory in fact goes to the gym to do nothing except drink cucumber water and look bewildered at the equipment. Lorelai says, "boy, I'm going to be sore in the morning!"

Luke and Logan play basketball. Logan is concerned Luke's shoes don't fit him properly. Luke is suddenly bedecked in head to toe Martha's Vineyard merchandise, and nothing says "Luke Danes" like overpriced merchandise bedecked with logos advertising the name of a town that makes him cranky (Lorelai makes an observation about this). Luke and Logan arrive to find Rory and Lorelai getting shoulder massages from two randos. Lorelai's rando looks like a Dollar Store Luke and Rory's looks like a Dollar Store Hunts Burger. Luke complains that his shoes are smelly after playing sports. Luke goes on an uninspired rant about his shoddily constructed pants and in the vaguest terms, how Logan is sorta annoying. He really needs Jess to show up and raise that blood pressure. Lorelai finds Rory in the kitchen preparing a salad and mashed potatoes. Lorelai says "I don't like to see food being made behind the scenes, yuck!" even though she’s worked at a bed and breakfast for years, her best friend is a chef and she's always in her kitchen getting in her way. Lorelai cannot identify a garlic press, a lemon zester, or a potato masher. Luke says he's never had lobster before. Feels a bit hard to believe. Whatever. He should go on a nuclear rant on the evils of the commercial lobster industry or something and get that blood pressure up. I am so bored. Minute 30 Mark: I am so bored. It's so off putting to see Lorelai being supportive and keeping her nose out of Rory's relationships, and she isn't trying to wiggle into her daughter's boyfriend's pants. I just realized Logan has done nothing in 30 minutes. Luke didn’t buy Lorelai a Valentine's Day gift. Logan bought Rory two pieces of jewelry and offers Luke one to give to Lorelai. He reluctantly accepts the necklace from Logan. The fearsome foursome sit down to dinner where Logan presents Rory with the bracelet. Luke presents Lorelai with the necklace. I make a prediction that Lorelai will notice the identical boxes and realize the necklace and bracelet are from the same store and figure out that Luke forgot VDay and went shopping last minute, then awkwardness will ensue. I am incorrect. Lorelai does remark that the pieces look similar, but Logan covers for Luke and says they went shopping together at the same store. Sure, whatever. The girls appear to fall for the ruse. Luke LOVES lobster. It kick's salmon's ass, it kick's tuna's ass. Luke wants to find a "Good lobster place nears Stars Hollow". Luke begs Lorelai to recommend a place that serves lobster (um. what about the place where she works? probably?) L&L (Luke and Lobster) forever. Lorelai is in bed playing with the necklace. Luke without a hat. Lorelai again laments that their wedding will never come to fruition and Luke assures her it totally will! Blah blah blah, Lorelai sad. Lorelai laments that she lost the deposits that she put down for the wedding. Luke Moneybags Danes says that's okay we'll just pay for everything a second time. Their financial future is bright. Luke and Lorelai saying I love you, kissing and having breakfast in bed? Dang, Season 6 feels so foriegn to me. The next morning in bed after some vigorous lovemaking that kept Logan and Rory up all night, they are discussing a place called Harvey's Beach, it's not clear where this beach is but they've both been there as teenagers, and at this beach Liz smoked someone's used cigarette she found behind a concession stand. That's our Liz. Luke claims to have not visited a beach since he was 18. I was about to hit my MINOR PLOTHOLE ALARM button as Lorelai once said she went swimming with Luke but it turns out she said the lake and not the ocean. I retract my alarm. Minute 35 mark: While Lorelai and Luke are lounging in bed, Mitchum Huntzberger barges through the door. Logan and Mitchum scream at each other. I do not care enough about these characters to care one iota about this. Not even half an iota. I cannot get over Scott's hair here, for some reason. The many varied ways the style team have attempted to disguise his thinning hair, it amuses me.

Four minutes to go. I shall render my verdict shortly. Nothing's happening, nothing's happening, Skip, skip, skip to my loo my darling...

Is Mitchum sending Logan on a top secret spy mission? Maybe. I dont know. Logan's going to London. Eventually. Well, nice knowing ya pal. Logan gives Rory the keys to the Porsche which seems like a pretty terrible idea. Luke returns home in a curiously chipper mood, I guess he and Lorelai snuck in a quickie before they went home. Or during the trip home. Everyone in Stars Hollow would be in a much better mood if they could just get laid once in a while. Lorelai compliments Luke's ass. Emily put a wedding in announcement in the paper. Lorelai just happens to have a copy of that paper sitting next to the answering machine as she plays the message. Salty is ready to render her verdict. Ahem. THIS is the worst episode of the entire series? THIS ONE? REALLY?? REALLY REALLY? Come on, people. I was warned I had to be drunk to watch this episode. Love you @frazzledsoul. Happy birthday. I really think I should be passed out drunk while watching much of the second and third season, to be quite honest. Lost and Found? There's the Rub? Teach me Tonight? Those episodes are where I truly suffer. I finished the episode in one sitting, and at no point was I enraged nor mildly perturbed, distressed, annoyed, peeved or po'd. My blood pressure remained true and steady. Season 6 is a full on shit circus and this is not just the worst episode of the season but the whole SHOW? Damn it that episode was SO DULL AND BORING and downright PLEASANT AND I ENJOYED IT OKAY! Hmmph. Luke was whiny, but it was so minor it didn't even register. (you know who is really a whiny little bitch? Randall Pearson). Where was that bracelet thing going? I was expecting Lorelai to realize that Luke forgot to buy her a Valentine's Day gift. Nothing happened. At all. Ever. Logan contributed nothing. He was perfectly tolerable. Rory didn't annoy me. Lorelai didn't even annoy me! Except for her stupid sperm jokes! All of the drama happened in the last 4 minutes. The ridiculous plot holes and silly details made me smile. The Luke and Logan dopplegangers, Luke saying Okuh and packing a hunting kinfe in his suitcase, some new Liz lore, NO APRIL, god I hate April! I loved it. I give it a B-. Salty out.