#but it does have some fun interesting tidbits i did not know

[finelythreadedsky]

i think we have been overlooking a major method of publicly signaling your political sympathies that we could have borrowed from classical athens

[waywardsalt]

oh yeah i’ve got a bunch of loz aus that i haven’t really talked about. a few of them are listed and slightly explained in this poll and explanation reblog but i haven’t gone out of my way to actually list the aus i have and really explain them. so that’s what this post is for. here are some... decently simple explanations of my major aus and what they're generally about

i have two kinds of aus: original aus (loz aus that are set in their own kinds of worlds with their own stories and twists on character roles) and then crossover aus (we all know how this works i just mash loz and a thing i like together)

original aus: (many currently dont have actual titles, so the titles will often just be concept shorthand)

in the court of the crimson king/crimson king au: probably the most developed and closest to being written out. it's got one of the longer premises; set in a industrial-esque hyrule city, following linebeck as the main character, as the adoptive older brother of link and aryll, living with them and their grandmother as the only one able to reliably make money to pay for rent and food, leaving every other week to do jobs, but he moonlights as the 'demon of the gray moon', a masked persona he'd created as a child that had long since become a city-wide urban legend, anonymously taking unsavory jobs from whomever can contact him and offer pay, often working directly for bellum, a childhood friend, the one who enabled and trained him to become the demon, and one of five anonymous leaders of the city. linebeck effectively lives a double life, and tries to stay out of too much trouble to avoid drawing attention to himself or making his adoptive family worry, but he gets dragged into more and more danger as bellum becomes curious about the identities of the city's other leaders, and linebeck falls in love with a man named ganondorf, suspected to be one of those other city leaders. ive got a few posts related to it already: this one being another vague concept descriptor, this one being an actual scene i have written out.

'gimmick' au: i cannot explain the gimmick without spoiling the au. put simply, in this au, hyrule as a whole has been at war for ten years, every race and kingdom taking sides in a conflict that seems to be going nowhere. link joined the hylian army young, and has made his way up the ranks to become trusted by queen zelda herself, and things in the war take an interesting turn as he and zelda discover a new faction, unaligned with any particular kingdom and with unknown motives, and zelda decides to set out to the different parts of hyrule, link and a chosen group of trusted allies in tow, intending to try negotiation one more time before things take a turn for the worse.

sci-fi/space au: the fun one that probably would need to be done in a visual medium. it takes place in a solar system of a few planets, link growing up on the planet hyrule and occasionally traveling to the others as a knight specializing in investigating and taking down dangerous bounty hunters, working for zelda as a friend. he and zelda uncover a plot by the yiga clan to accumulate a number of highly dangerous research and weapons held by each species as they aim to resurrect a demon to wreck havoc on the solar system- the b plot being about the top bounty hunters in the solar system screwing around, eventually colliding with link and zelda's a plot as it begins to involve them.

murder mystery(?) au: one of the older ones, maybe one of the oldest that i still stick with. this might actually be one of the first ones i tried writing. the plot begins when zelda returns to hyrule city years after her father- the former mayor- was murdered, finding that he has been replaced by ganondorf and that while things seem fine enough on the surface, random and organized crime run the show, and she begins a private detective agency as 'sheik', a masked young man, and with the help of impa, and old friend and confidant, she moonlights as sheik and uses her daytime identity as zelda to help chip away at some of the city's biggest problems and finds herself drawn into a long string of murders that appear to be anything but random violence.

ruined hyrule 1: i have two au’s with the premise of hyrule being ruined. neither of them have more specific names yet. this one begins with the majority of greater hyrule's population having long since locked themselves in hyrule castle town in order to escape the increasingly dangerous wildlife. zelda, a young girl at the beginning, becomes curious about what lies beyond the city walls, and makes friends with many other children within this sheltered hyrule, and as they grow up together, aim to eventually venture out into the wilderness to see what may have caused the outside world to become so incredibly hostile.

ruined hyrule 2: the other ruined hyrule. set in a devastated hyrule, roughly ten years after the royal family was killed, link failing to save them or hyrule in the time since. he now resolves to set out and indiscriminately destroy every demon that plagues the ruined hyrule, meeting and bringing along various allies, each of which has been uniquely affected by and have different lived in this altered, dangerous shell of hyrule.

modern (school): i also have two modern aus. this one isn’t plot driven, just a concept i have, would work best as little vignettes or something. essentially just the idea of a group of loz characters hanging out together in a modern high school (or college?) setting.

modern: this is the one with an actual plot. follows the general idea of zelda characters living in a modern world only for the typical legends to begin resurfacing and heralding dark events. plot specifics are murky, but that's the general idea.

dark mage: this is the au that where the seas meet the sands takes place in. basically just ganondorf x linebeck shenanigans in this alternate hyrule while actual plot sneaks up on them. named 'dark mage' mostly because the initial idea behind this au was that linebeck would learn magic.

horror au: doesn't have the best name, and it's ended up just being a personal sandbox for me. constantly changing, with the cast and setting often altering if i find that something isn't working or sticking. it's an au i've considered (and even briefly tried) writing in the past, but it's still too fluid, and writing horror effectively is difficult. it's a fun au, though.

mecha au: spawned because i watched neon genesis evangelion. a lot of this au's basic concepts can be found here: x but the short version is that hyrule is being besiged by massive monsters, but each race has created their own mechs to combat them. link is just a farmer who happens to have a strange knack for being a mech user, so is brought in by zelda as a gamble to bolster their chances, and he is tasked with working with a new and less-than-trustworthy crew to help fight those monsters.

'amnesia link' au: an au that sprang up in about a day and hasn't gotten too far since. basic premise being that three years prior to the story, link and a group of allies has faced off against ganondorf and, despite their best efforts, lost, with link being presumed dead by their enemies. now, link has woken up from his coma, his memories gone and hyrule taken over, and, with guidance, must once again travel across hyrule, aiming to rediscover his allies and try to face ganondorf once more.

A quick list of crossovers: I won't explain these in length, since they can range from having their own plot to just being a fun mental concept. So, the things I have made crossover aus with are:

Warrior Cats

Batman

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure

Persona 5

Pokemon

(there are other, smaller ones, these are just the ones i consistently pay attention to)

So! These are the majority of my legend of zelda aus, some of which I may write, some of which just exist in my mind for fun, all of which I wouldn't mind talking more about if anyone is curious!

[ghost-bxrd]

Been mulling over Titans Tower and it's really interesting to me how it's treated in Fanon as compared to how the events transpired in canon. it's a really fun topic! Honestly, the original writing in canon is DOGSHITE but not for the usual reasons people cite.

Here's what does make sense in canon but is largely ignored (this is using canon characterisations at the time): First, it's all about the whole Titans team, not just Tim. They really downplay his death a lot, did not put up his statue or honour him whatsoever. Plus the hero community tends to victim-blame him a fuckton. Jason is showing that his death could've happened to anyone. Second, Tim and Jason are just two yearish apart—Jay died at 15, Tim becomes Robin at 13—so those Titans are more like his colleagues than anything else; he's not some older guy beating the shit outta them. Third, Tim’s indifference to Jason's comments and his cockiness about being a better Robin are pretty on-brand for his early portrayal as Robin. (I think fanon Tim derives a lot of his characteristics from his Red Robin run, which is valid as well! But here in particular we have Robin Tim... who... was... uh... a bit of an asshole when he was written back then and the HUBRIS on that man? Immaculate.)

What still makes this absolutely dog shit is the dialogue and how Jason is pouring his heart out to someone who he doesn't really care about. Jason... just doesn't operate this way... Why's he trauma dumping on... tim... ???? It makes no sense whatsoever because Jason really is someone who'd keep those vulnerabilities to himself. Why would he open up to... CANON TIM??? He makes scathing remarks when faced with Bruce and Dick because he knows the knife twists then and at he cares about their reaction. But not tim ????? Canon UTRH doesn't even mention Tim ????? ???? So in the end it's still shit imo.

I also find the use of Pit Madness in fanon super interesting, despite it not being canon. It's used to propel the Titan's Tower incident, which fascinates me because it shows how people are willing to work around its flaws to maintain consistent characterization in their works (which is !!! cool !!)

It's so interesting how many other incidents that do occur in canon aren't as well known as this one aren't given much thought. But this one is and it's interesting how people try to work with it regardless of it's flaws originally!

I'd really love to hear your opinions about it and how flexible you are with the Titans tower incident! :) How do you work with your Jason and your Tim? because it's cool to hear your analysis etc etc

Hooo boi okay i was planning on replying to this earlier but this deserves a proper, thought out response (which I’m shite at but I’m trying here. Words are hard.)

For one, I wholeheartedly agree with the whole trauma dumping thing.

Obviously we all have different tastes in media and I know there are quite a few people who enjoyed the confrontation with Tim, which is totally fine, but personally… yeah, not my thing.

I got into the Batman/batfam fandom via fanfic, so my first introduction was some version of Titans Tower I believe. I was super intrigued by the characters and the tidbits of lore sprinkled throughout that I immediately began reading up on them and digging through the internet for more info and background story on them. Which then quickly evolved into the part where my adoration for Jason’s character began and a short phase where I absolutely despised early canon Tim.

Like— all the victim blaming. He seriously couldn’t mention Jason without adding something derogatory about getting himself killed, which sat so, so wrong with me. Not to mention the Titans just accepting a new Robin right off the bat and joining in blaming Jason for his own death. I’m pretty sure that was the point where I swore off comics for a long while and decided to live off fanon 🤣

And then Jason’s part in the Titans Tower incident. I think part of how weird the canon event was is due in part to how the writers fumbled to depict trauma? Or maybe they just outright hated him because I know a lot of people back then despised Jason and his run as Robin.

Whatever the reason, I think I genuinely cringed when he revealed the Walmart Robin costume he was wearing. And then the trauma dumping.

Jason is smart enough to know Tim wouldn’t care about his grievances. I mean- dude just broke into his hideout to attack him, I think Tim’s about as done with Jason as with any other criminals, regardless of his past. And all that is proven by Tim fighting back tooth and nail without pause. He doesn’t even react to the accusation of the missing statue in Jason’s honor. Like, he genuinely doesn’t seem to care. And why would he? They don’t know each other.

And yeah maybe he was trying to beat some sense into Tim (which is still wrong but— vigilantes I guess? Idk) and make him quit Robin, but Jason’s also smart enough to know that Robins don’t quit easily. And then, as soon as Tim is down for the count and can’t keep fighting, Jason leaves. Just like that. No actual murder attempt, no kicking-while-he’s-down (at least as far as I remember).

It makes no sense. What would Jason be gaining from that encounter? Why would he blame the kid that replaced him and not the guy that did the replacing? Hell, it would make more sense for him to go after the Titans than Tim. Not the mention him casually doubting Tim’s talents when he must have done some background checks on him.

It’s why I like the idea of Pit Madness I guess, and that Jason actually went to the tower with the intent to kill. Because that way the entire thing wouldn’t seem so… pointless.

As for how flexible I am with the Titans Tower storyline, it really depends on the route people choose to explore. But I’m a huge sucker for the “Jason was Tim’s Robin” trope where there’s at least a mild amount of hero worship going on. 👁️ Oh, and happy endings. I can’t deal with tragedies.

But yeah these are my thoughts on it. Obviously no hate to whoever enjoyed the comic mentioned above 💚 we’ve all got different things we resonate with after all~

[luffyvace]

Undertaker wants to Court you! ~(Headcanons)~

Can’t wait for the public school arc who’s with me?!

this dude is so silly 🗿 enjoy some hcs of this ridiculous little man

Undertaker is funny. He uses that to his advantage when courting. Well, it actually depends on what type of humor you have- most of his are usually those jokes that are kinda funny but at the same time your like ‘That’s outta pocket! 🤦‍♀️😑😂’ yk?

he always wants to hear jokes. He asks you randomly and no matter what type he laughs at them. Rude humor? Hilarious! Dad jokes? That one really tickled his fancy! 😂 why did the chicken cross the road?? To get to the other side? 🤣🤣💥

now usually I feel he has a specific sense of humor but with you everything’s just kinda funny. It’s that moment when your with someone who you can laugh at the most unfunniest stuff ever and still be cackling at it anyway 😭💕

he’s always telling them as well. Might I say, at the worst times 😏 you just watched someone run over a stray animal? Oh he’s got a joke for that hear him out- LIKE BRO 😭⁉️

HES THE TYPE OF GUY WHO MAKE YOU LAUGH BEFORE EVEN TELLING YOU THE JOKE BECAUSE YOU KNOW ITS GONNA BE STUPID 👍

Let’s also talk about hiiiis…! weird side! (I’m saying ‘side’ like he’s isn’t always weird..) This is pretty much him just being a creep? Ish? Like that scene where he was in the barrel licking salt…🤨 or how he’s always in coffins (which tbh seems more normal for a grim reaper but still..) either way this dudes’ real weird and he doesn’t tone it down, even around you despite the fact that it may or may not (you decide) push you away

He’s a very mysterious dude, so how ever you met him I guarantee it was eerie and somewhat strange. Therefore you were likely intrigued by him, so when you went on your first date it was, well, very interesting! There’s so many layers to unravel with this guy! Ngl even now you’ve only semi unraveled this incomprehensible man but at the least you do learn more as you get to know him :P

his past is….complicated is an understatement- gimme a new word.

literally no one but him knows his full past all the way up to this very day. Looks like no one has stuck around long enough! Since you will I guess you’ll be the first to figure it out! ;)

now I’ll say this, he won’t sit down and just tell you everything, no. That won’t be any fun! 😄 you’ll have to have the intelligent to sit down and decode it piece by piece with the tidbits of information he gives you randomly. Yes! It’s going to be comical seeing you try and put this whole thing-a-ba-jig together! (^_−)−☆ 🤣

his nonjudgmental yet opinionated personality is scary if you don’t like folk who come off too strong. Or if your sensitive- 😄 he’s a ‘tell-it-like-it-is-and-I-don’t-give-a-ship’ type of guy. Buuuut! If your similar to him in that sense you’ll probably understand him a lot more. Him being nonjudgemental is perfect for peeps of all types so that’s a plus!! 💗

ranting about his fascination with humans during your dates comes with the package! ☝️He just does, it’s always one of his topics, and ngl it’s nothing boring either, he’s got quite a few stories to tell with even more jokes in between, which is sure to make for a lovely date <3 plus at some point all species in black butler experienced being a human, and idk about y’all but the study of human nature, psychology and how the brain works is a very interesting thing for me! I’d definitely be able to keep a conversation like that up for some time, me personally.

He puts up a front of a funny weird guy when there’s more to him if you read between the lines. Which, don’t get me wrong that certainly is a part of the real him, he just makes sure to highlight it so you don’t look at the rest 😃👌

he’s a real creepy fellow..even towards you 😭 (on purpose) and whether he’s trying to court you or not there’s no escaping it- if it starts to push you away he’ll find a way to incorporate laughter into it to make it more appealing, but no, he won’t change his ways 😭

WHY DOESN’T HE WASH HIS HAIRRRR

(yes it’s canon 😞)

you force him to wash his hair 😘💋 pls he needs it. or at least do it with him so it’s more fun. It’ll probably be easier to convince him that way

Time to talk about his work as a grim reaper!!! :3 (retired anyway) if you are reaper you get to follow each other around doing tasks! human? You both go your separate ways to work, whatever that may be. A demon? The same as a human really! Just this time you might have a contract with somebody. Buttttt!! A perk of all three is getting to work in the funeral parlor with him ;3 it’s a good disguise if your a demon/reaper and also some good quality time for you and your reaper 😘 (i mean, I hope you don’t mind morbid stuff cuz he’s a mortician after all 😅)

his little Russian roulette with the phantomhives 🕺 (LOL) no seriously I have no clue what type of relationship he has with them besides the fact that he serves them for the price of top notch laughter 🧑‍🍳💋 but you might! I’d say he’s more willing to let you in then anyone if he’s trying to court you! That obviously means he wants to trust you with his heart! So yeah! You likely know a thing or two—more about Ciel than Vincent but any info will do at this point 😭 it’s a start right? 🤷‍♀️

whenever Ciel comes over you get to witness him or Sebastian try to make undertaker laugh, it’s not like they can kick you out, you work there! Perks 😏 You can pretty much tell the one time Ciel made him laugh himself it was just a whole bunch of tomfoolery 😂 (why did it take so long⁉️😭) Sebastian is also able to make undertaker laugh really hard immediately so I wonder what he does 🤪 guess you’ll get to see! 😋

undertaker opening up to you is a process that requires patience. And don’t be pushy!! I mean this for your sake, by the way. You’ll drive yourself crazy since you’ll never get an answer that’s not riddles or straight up jokes. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

yeah overall his way of courting is really strange but when it comes to making things official he’s poetically blunt. The type of blunt where you have to process for a second like ‘wait what does that mean- oh. OH-’

Anyway I’m gonna talk about the actual dates now cuz I’ve pretty much just been mentioning the madness that comes with it this entire time :3 and yes as I said that’s a way of courting to him. He’s weird and blunt but doesn’t wanna do things the traditional way. So getting you involved in his antics is his way of saying ‘hey i like ya and I want ya to stick around’. And jokes. HAHAHAH 😂

dates with undertaker normally consists of tea, jokes, human psychology and gossip 🗿 ever since I saw ciel in wonderland I couldn’t get over the fact that undertaker was at a tea party and now I headcanons him to like tea LOLOLOL! I mean I know that’s how the plot goes in the actual slice movie and he was just playing the role of the character but, think about it—don’t it kinda fit???? Like?? Okok Hear me out hear me out- imagine sipping on some tea with Undertaker and gossiping on the latest drama from the underworld, ‘I heard a rare case is happening where blah blah blah *giggle* *giggle* chatter chatter..’ ETC! like idk how to explain it but do you see the vision???

I can also see him doing that dramatic anime thing where they sip they’re drink majestically then say something intelligent sounding (☝️🤓) (about psychology, for him) as the wind blows 😂😂 YK? LOLL even worse if your in a outside background and his eyes shows (cuz the character who never shows they’re eyes always show them when they get serious 🤣)

i love how shameless this guy is

why don’t we know this guys’ real name⁉️ Can’t even give him a nickname because ‘undertaker’ isn’t nickname material!! What am I supposed to call him???? Taker’ ⁉️😭🗿

ENJOY @doudouma HERE’S YOUR SURPRISE~ 🤗

[atryoshka]

Frenchie and Izzy getting together would be genius and tbh I can't unsee it now

Love that Izzy and Frenchie actually have a lot in common on a deeper level that wasn't really apparent to me until s2 when we see how they deal with trauma in equal but opposite ways. We have Frenchie with his little box that allows him to straight up ignore the dark shit he's been through like it doesn't exist, happily eat some blood cake, and thinking that his death being given a clear deadline is a comfort. Then we have Izzy trying to stone face his way through having his body parts severed, just business as usual bc that's the pirate life and it won't change even though he's visibly holding back tears, and then accusing the crew of being too cowardly to kill him, actively inviting death bc he doesn't get why any of it even matters so keeping him alive is pointless.

What's interesting is that given the right circumstances, they could easily trade places, with Izzy being more lighthearted and Frenchie falling apart at the seams.

We've already seen signs of this with Izzy being much more chilled out after the crew made him the new unicorn, finding something in this terrible life that make him see them, and himself, in a more positive light. Like yeah, life is still filled with unimaginable horror, but now has a custom gold painted unicorn leg to trudge through it with, which is absolutely absurd but now he can't help but smile. So he decided his life is so unserious right now and you know what? A shark took his leg, end of story, here's a little wooden shark I made today just for fun lol. Frenchie on the other hand is still pretty relaxed despite everything that's happened so far, but I have a feeling that he was probably very similar to izzy in the past before he joined the crew of The Revenge. His past is pretty mysterious even with the little tidbits we get like him being in the service for bit. It doesn't sound like he was doing it for too long so the other things in his life that he doesn't talk about remain unknown, probably even to himself. The box exists so he can pretend any trauma he experiences doesn't even exist, unlike a fiction which still somewhat acknowledges that there was something that happened to him in a way he could accept. The truth is, he actually never moved on bc all the parts of his life that he's ignoring are still lurking inside him waiting to break out at anytime. I think when something accidentally triggers a memory he suppressed, we'll see a different side to him. Less chill, more shrewd survivalist, like when he and the others reunited with the revenge crew after being stranded at sea. He bounced back pretty fast after they got past the pinnata and cake standoff but it was interesting to see how ready he was to be violent and how untrusting he was of everyone's intentions in that context. He'd usually be much more chill and willing to fast talk his way out of a situation, even when he knows someone has bad intentions. (There's also probably something with religious trauma he's hiding but that's a whole other can of worms I won't get into. All I'll say is that combined with his very strong beliefs of the supernatural and grudging flippant way he does the cross symbol on himself when others do it, when they boarded the cursed ship, he was that only one to not step in the satanic circle before anyone even questioned what the strange lines even were. Did he immediately recognize it and consciously avoid it or was it gut reaction? Idk, but he sure as hell didn't speak up about it and just wearily watched the other step into it and draw their own conclusions. ) But getting back on track Honestly, their dynamic would be really interesting to explore in the show bc they could understand and care about each other in ways that would probably surprise them if given the opportunity to spend more time together on screen. tl;dr: All this to say that I fell down the rabbit hole after realizing that they are basically this meme, which has a lot of potential for so many hilarious and accidentally heartbreaking moments

[bra1nw0rmz]

Hello!! A question for you, not in a offensive light at all but I wanna ask why you like pavlevi so much and how come it doesn't make you uncomfortable with the age gap? We don't know pavs age which is fair enough but.. You get my point! I still love em tho. Maybe I'm a bit conflicted

I’m so sorry but you made a fatal mistake of giving me an opportunity to yap about them ( but thank you for being very nice abt the question, it means a lot :3 )

Slight rant under more… tried my hardest to keep it short but I have so much to say abt these fuckass losers 😔

For the reasons why I like Pavlevi so much. It’s because they are my two favourite characters, I need to psychoanalyse them and make them trauma bond or I’ll DIE.

Levi has the solitary soul, he’s been alone for most of his life. What he seriously needs is connection. And I think most of the cast just can’t fundamentally understand him. (I’m not sure if I’m being biased and self projecting here because of my experiences being autistic but yeah 😭) And I genuinely think most of that cast would look at Levi with pity. Almost as if he can’t think for himself. And I think Levi hates it. It’s really a hard feeling to pin down, but it feels weirdly dehumanising?? Like say Karin or smth would mean well but it still feels like you’re being hang up to dry? And I think Levi fucking hates it when everyone is looking at him like that. And the pity ppl have for him comes from a place of being so disconnected from him. Most of them can’t really understand him or what he’s gone through I suppose?? It’s not their faults, it’s just how it is. Society has literally thrown him to wolves. His government striped him of his autonomy, has used him for it’s benefit and now it’s people look at him like this couldn’t have been avoided, that it’s something so sad, to be pitied. Which is also why I love pavlevi bc Pav is the only person that Levi can truely connect with. Someone else who’s gone through the same bullshit, torn apart by the same world. They are both cut from the same stone, just at different stages and coping in different ways which I think is interesting. And it’s so sad because why the hell does it have to be some Bremen fuck that actually treats him like a person and not just something to pity.

As for Pav’s side of the coin. I just really like to torture him. Due to what he’s gone through and seen, being in the army around the same age as Levi, if not younger. I feel like he’d see Levi as being fit to make his own damn decisions. It’s none of Pav’s business, Levi can do whatever and he honestly does not give a shit. But as they get closer I feel like I think Levi brings out all the guilt and shame Pav bottled up and pushed far down in his psyche. Like… he’s had to kill so many just like Levi, all to even get a chance at killing Kaiser. All of it being a glorified elaborate destructive suicide mission. And he’s very fucked up about it. Dread sets in for Pav because??? He’s a terrible person??? He’s had to wear this mask for so long, he doesn’t even know who he really is. Levi is just troubled and has been put in one unfair situation after another. Pav couldn’t move forward and purposely put himself in those situations and did those fucked up things. I also think it’s interesting to think of them as like an intimacy of convenience. Bc they both know they have no future and might die at any second, but it’s better to hold someone’s hand than be alone when you die.

Other tidbits!!

They are fucking funny, like c’mon getting bossed around by the enemy, and a LIEUTENANT on top of that, is fucking hilarious

I feel like you got this from the rant b4 but the Angst potential is crazyyyyy

Pav teasing Levi and making him all flustered, HELLOO??? I love blushy levi

Pav traversing caring for someone else that isn’t himself bc he’s fundamentally a self serving person gggghhh

IFUCKING LOVE DOOMED RELATIONSHIPS RAHHHHHHHHHHH

The way their heavily different personalities clash would be fun

Having someone there who's gone through what you've suffered through is so comforting. you're not alone anymore….. IM SICK IN THE HEAD

I think Levi should be allowed to kiss boys as a treat

I also think he should be allowed to shoot Pav in the head as a treat

As for the age gap.. I don’t like it at all ofc. 😭😭 It’s definitely not ideal. And I can 100% understand how that can be a deal breaker….. but I also feel like people baby Levi too much? He has 1 breakdown because he just got back from war, is going through heroin withdrawals, everyone in his home town has been turned into violent monsters, he’s hearing voices and someone just tried to kill him and he gets labeled a wimp. You put a guy in the worst situation ever and he cries ONCE and ppl call him a crybaby and infantilise him 💀 He’s stronger than people give him credit for… but that’s more of a problem with fandom than anything.

Also like… I tried….. I really tried to not like pavlevi….. But I’m way too fucking autistic abt them. It’s so bad that when I see them I get an adrenaline rush and do laps around my kitchen. I’m so serious. These guys are like pseudo drugs to me, I need to chop my head off.

And ofc I wouldn’t support 18 and 30 smth irl, that’s fucking gross……… And I would say the same for a stalker and her victim.. because look, I love S4marina, but it’s basically in the same boat as Pavlevi to me..

This being a fandom that should primarily be adults, I feel like ppl should understand that. Yk, having better common sense and media literacy to understand this stuff ain’t okay irl. I still realise it’s not everyone’s thing and I’m not trying to convince ppl to like it, just explain why I like it (NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THEM LIKE I DO, I NEED TO DIE)…. Anyway uuhm I understand it makes some ppl uncomfy, which is valid! Just don’t go into spaces where you’ll be exposed to it ig??? If you seriously don’t like it, the block button/blocking tags is right there. I do that too !!

[slowd1ving]

Kim Dokja with a Sung Jinwoo!Reader and their supporting constellation is Six-Eared Macaque

BAKHT ⁺ ✦ KIM DOKJA

"An existence as lonely as yours... chance has not been kind to you, it seems." It was neither choice nor good fortune that flung you into the rift that divided worlds: suspended in a limbo not of your own making, in a world with no dungeons like yours but 'scenarios' instead. Only the Story reaching its [◼◼◼] and you protecting the protagonist would guarantee your return, but how were you supposed to do that when the 'protagonist' you were meant to protect kept dying? honestly it's been a while since I read both solo levelling and orv so the plot is a bit hazy. I told myself to focus more on the actual interaction so it wouldn't snowball into storybuilding like the rest of my works... but alas... honestly this ask was extremely interesting like I've never read journey to the west but a sung jinwoo/six eared macaque collab??? damn me when I focus on tense first encounters rather than the lovey dovey aspect of relationships.. jokes aside it does get somewhat soft at the very end fun fact bakht refers to fortune in arabic, or rather finding luck in 'chance'; which unfortunately our reader doesn't seem to have a lot of... art by @ 1L9l2Aa8UCL0IGJ (blackbox) on x! pairing: kim dokja + sung jinwoo gn reader warnings: canon typical danger, mentions of death, also they're not really on the best of terms initially?? quite graphic depictions of blood wc: 2.7k

ORV MASTERLIST

MASTERLIST ・゜・NAVIGATION

Tonight, the wind carried only premonition in its whispers. It started like all the stories did—the ones that reached your ears, at least. Beginning as a gentle breeze, the songs twining past and future turned coarse as a gale once they encountered the pixelated appendages that seemed to have a life of their own: six downy auricles that were unable to decide whether to stay in the virtual realm or materialise themselves. 

Most of the time, they hid in the umbrous kingdom—much like the rest of your shadows. When you donned the façade of the humans from Planetary System 8612, the tales you could eavesdrop on were mere gossip slinking in from the future and the bygone past—tidbits of paltry information that were perhaps divine retribution for not proudly donning the Six-Eared Macaque’s ‘crown’, as he seemed to put it. 

But tonight was different. Tonight, the mellifluous litany of your flute was sharper than usual as you idled the time away. Tonight, with only the vast night shielding you and the countless shadows skulking on the rooftop, their dance appeared wilder. There was frenzy in the air, and prophecy tainting the cold, canorous wind. 

It tasted acerbic. 

‘Danger… horizon…. Dokja….’

The frequency soured the melody that brushed past the fur of your six-ears, and they flicked, irritably. 

[The Fake Monkey King warns of something afoot.]

“I know,” you bitterly commented. Something was always afoot when it came to this world in which you did not belong. Falling past the veil separating a dungeon from nothingness wasn’t meant to happen. Your system subsequently trapping you in this limbo until you reached [◼◼◼◼◼], too, wasn’t meant to happen either. Let the Story run its course and protect its ‘protagonist’, and this dimension will naturally collapse just enough that you’ll fall through back into yours. 

Kim Dokja, you’d repeated like a mantra while you lost your mind—over and over while your system glitched and protested in this limbo. Over and over, while he died and died and died some more. You’d bought and earned and fought for various potions, weapons and clothes to help him with his scenarios—leaving them in his vicinity where you knew he’d stumble across them—but it was all so fucking futile. 

Each time, he returned past the veil; each time, you sank into a deeper mire of restriction. You hadn’t spoken to another soul in months: imprisoned in the very shadows you controlled. It wasn’t as bad, initially: you could still talk to people uninvolved in the ‘Story’, the poor souls dubbed as extras—so long as you didn’t cause any ripples with your actions. If Dokja was accounted for through both the soldiers in his shadow, and the whispers that reached the six ears that fanned out behind your head, it would be fine. 

‘Hazard… kilometre north of Dokja’s camp….’

A kilometre. You’d be quiet. You always were. 

Dokja. Dokja. Dokja. Your face soured as you exchanged places with Beru: ready to silently act as his guardian shadow, though if he was determined to sacrifice himself… Both of you would pay a price.

The silence in the city was razor-sharp and just as deadly, to the point you could hear the ionic buzz of your summoned demonic knives. Their ozonic scent bitterly filled your mouth, which only amplified the acerbic profanities mingling on your tongue as you glanced around for the danger. What danger? You’d be damned before you were sent back to that empty desert to reflect your wrongdoings. There was no chance to gain anything there—just endless time, chipping your sanity away and stirring up derision for the one who couldn’t solve anything without dying. 

Because in the end, both of you would pay the price, and he didn’t even know it. He became a constellation, while you were shackled to a prison that was never of your own making. 

Examining the wreck of this urban landscape that felt too much like the Seoul you knew, you came to the abrupt conclusion that there was nothing. Even when your six-ears flicked this way and that, it was too silent. Not a whisper, nor any trace of danger lingered in this space; such an occurrence was nigh-impossible in the scenario-laden dome of this city. 

[The Prisoner of the G◼◼◼en Headband expres◼◼◼◼ his mistrust.] 

Sun Wukong. A flash of hatred that was not your own wracked your body, complete with a burning envy and something far more insidious than anything you’d ever experienced, 

Crackling messages began interfering with your system screen. You’d only seen this once—when you accidentally intruded on the fringes of the ‘Star Stream’ as an ‘unauthorised one’. An anomaly if you ever saw one. 

“There’s nothing,” you muttered callously, scraping the tip of your blade against concrete ruins. If it had been a false alarm, then it was time to leave before you risked paying the penalty. Your job was simple—keep watch of the ‘protagonist’ from the shadows, and make his life somewhat easier. 

[A nameless constellation argues that advertisements are simply a part of life, and that it’s not a big deal to build suspense.]

That’s weird. The messages were getting clearer, but the warning signs that typically appeared in the system windows weren’t there. 

Your own supporting constellation was far too quiet as you sheathed your knife in the shadow dimension—the darkness cradled the weapon softly before it vanished, though the familiar whish could not soothe the unease that distorted your mind. Never had the six-ears failed to pinpoint hazards, as close to omniscient that they were.

“Got you,” something—someone—whispered from afar, the moment you stepped on the next broken slab of pavement and triggered a tripwire. A paltry toy, golden string that was incandescent in this darkened city, wrapped tightly around your body; right before you were shoved against a concrete wall. “You’re not the only one to see the ‘outcome’.”

Stand down, Igris, you commanded as the stranger continued to press into you; you could sense the turbulent shadows growing even more agitated at your position, though all of them could feel the ease with which you could’ve snapped out of the rope that was no more than a thread. The stream was eerily silent, while the glassy window only you could see kept its cold azure colour—nothing like the glaring scarlet that informed you of your penalty. 

Who is this? 

In the darkness, you made out the shape of a mouth pressed into a thin line. Dark hair partially swept over the stranger’s eyes, while a long white coat draped itself over his shoulders. But it wasn’t the garb, nor was it the features that alerted you of just who this was. 

It was the umbrous cloud of his soul, the very one you’d been tracking all these weeks. 

“Kim Dokja,” you greeted, half-placidly, half in intrigue. If he could bend the rules of life and death to suit him, you supposed that bending some more rules wouldn’t hurt. The interest was quickly replaced by irritation—for this was the very charge that had continuously shackled you to the in-betweens of the Seoul dome. Not quite a human from this planet, nor a monster—just an abominable anomaly that didn’t belong in this ‘Story’ at all. “I wasn’t expecting this.”

There was a polite smile on your face, but he only scoffed in disbelief. “What the hell are you playing at? Who are you? You think leaving all those materials for me to find will somehow increase your chances to survive? Why are you doing this?”

Incredulity laced each syllable. The Ugliest King stared hard at the face of the Shadow Monarch, though he didn’t know it. 

You sympathised, you really did. Having someone trail after you (though he hadn’t mentioned your shadows—did he even notice them?) and leave you useful items might have been convenient to some, but chronic overthinkers (as Beru had reported to you from his shade) wouldn’t see it as such. 

But it wasn’t like you had a choice not to, either. 

“I just want to get back home.” For the first time, there was a hint of the welling annoyance that seeped through the cracks in your courteous expression: in your grinding molars, in the slight squint of your eyes. Babysitting this guy should have never been part of your job.

Don’t affect the story.

You pressed your lips together to avoid the tide of complaints that swept in. Why do you keep dying? Do you know how much it sucks whenever you do? Why the fuck was I put on babysitting duty?

“Just take the things,” you gritted out instead; to which a sharp blade stung the side of your neck. Quick, but not quick enough to pose a true threat to you. “They were annoying to farm, you know that?”

“I never asked for them, nor do I need them to reach where I want to be. You were never in the original— I can’t exactly trust you now, can I?” he scowled—more ill-tempered than Beru had included in his periodic reports. In a mere second, you surged: as fluid and fast as quicksilver, slamming the guy you’d grown to abhor into the cold, harsh asphalt. There was no apology dripping from your lips this time, only a snarling, bloodied grit of teeth when the penalty began etching into your skin as a direct consequence of laying hands on the ‘untouchable’ protagonist. 

Sensing your distress, the six-ears materialised around your face—like they were countering the drip-drip of sanguine that slinked from your nose and onto the shirt of the man beneath you. You watched as you sullied the protagonist you were forced to stay away from—tainted in a way that was sure to finally end you. His dark eyes, too, traced the motion of each crimson rivulet: chest rising and falling desperately as he felt the very real, razor-sharp edge of his own knife lightly against his jugular. 

“Listen, I never asked for this either,” you hissed. “Believe it or not, I too want you to reach the conclusion of this shitshow so I can get back home. You need to stay alive for that. I’ll wait.”

The pressure in your head intensified. 

“I don’t know how you got past the restrictions on me—” Your grip on his shirt loosened as carmine began seeping into the system window. “—but I can’t stay here any longer without repercussions. Neither can I interfere with the story nor escape this hell—” Dark spots began floating in your vision, and the blade sliced into the concrete a hair's breadth away from his neck with a low-resonating chime. Maybe this was your only chance to make your job easier, without the loss of sanity that came with rule-breaking. “—but if you can’t trust me, trust that your accomplishment of your goal will allow me to get back to my own world as a result.”

“Wait–” Your body swayed as you stood, feeling the familiar frequency of the Stream boot up against the fine down of the six-ears. I don’t have time, you wanted to say, but iron was beginning to leave your lips too. 

[The Prisoner of the Golden Headband complains loudly that fraternising with the enemy is a horribly stupid move, pulling out his hair.]

[The Demon-like Judge of Fire is unsure of this development, and would like to be filled in on this stranger’s connection with the Prisoner of the Golden Headband..]

The Star Stream was… clear. Not filled with static like it had been before, but cogent enough that you could observe each message coherently. 

[The Star Stream has its eyes on you.]

A terrible foreboding surfaced, while your chest constricted with the sudden onslaught of red that assaulted your eyes—a cacophony of warning signs, all targeted at you. 

“What is that?” A hand that wasn’t yours reached for the crimson glow, and you jolted as the cerise shattered: reverting back to the familiar blue interface. The ache in your head, too, vanished—yet the buildup of fatigue was still present in your hazy mind. Though, the only thing you could register was the change in his voice as he observed the screen, an inkling of understanding as he watched the characters fade from existence:

Protect the ‘protagonist’ Kim Dokja. Let the Story run its course, and you will be able to return to your home world. 

{The Fourth Wall quietly observes the remnants of its meal.}

Gone, in a wave of his hand. That same hand, now held out to you as if it hadn’t just erased weeks’ worth of strain from your body: long, deft fingers reaching out to you. You could only stare as the world grew dim around you, as a faint voice brushed past the soft fur of your six-ears. 

‘Error… error… due to unprecedented actions ◼◼◼◼ taken by the protagonist, the system has now… updated to provide for a deuteragonist model… consi◼◼der standby… updating… updating… ◼◼◼◼◼◼   ◼◼◼◼ objective updated… reach the [◼◼◼◼] alongside deuteragonist Kim Dokja to catalyse homecoming.’

“What the hell… did you do?” you slurred. The misguided loathing towards him had dissipated into a tumultuous state of frenzy; you could feel the shadows within stir with the agitation of your mind, though you fought to keep your cards at bay. Rather than the hilt of your familiar sword, you thumbed the worn edge of your flute in a last bid to stay calm. 

“‘Reach the [◼◼◼◼] alongside deuteragonist Kim Dokja to catalyse homecoming’, huh?” The incredulity you felt at him repeating the words that only you ever heard was overshadowed by the bone-deep exhaustion you felt. 

“Was… being honest,” you mumbled for the last time, fully expecting to feel the frigid asphalt as you collapsed and your eyes came to a close. The lingering penalties had finally taken effect, yet you didn’t quite hit the hard concrete like you anticipated. Rather, you collided against a wiry frame that, despite its initial gauntness, was far warmer than anything you’d felt in these apocalyptic weeks. “I might’ve died if I continued interfering.”

“You won’t die.” The words ghosted over your ear as he stared down at the person in his arms who’d been tracking him for weeks. They’d been a constant pain and irritated him to no end, especially with all the gifts he received that he’d never read about in TWSA; and there was nothing he hadn’t read about in TWSA save for the epilogue. “I won’t let you.”

His very headache was now slumbering in his arms, with only the ambition of going home on their mind. 

What a lonely existence. 

Maybe you heard him. Maybe you didn’t. All he knew was that he was crafting an epilogue that would shake this very world to its roots, and perhaps there was a small, you-sized shape cut out just for the person snoozing their little heart out. He had a feeling he had only breached the outermost layer of you; peeling back only the very dermis to reveal someone far too overpowered to compete with most of the dome. 

Dokja’s thumb traced the bloody lines staining your face. You could faintly feel them; then, abruptly, the citrus smell that lingered on him grew sharper. Closer. A soft pressure applied itself to the crown of your head: fleeting, silvery. What was that?

It was everything that had been forcibly taken from you after you were brought past the void. 

With something that was suspiciously close to a smile, your mind drifted away in the arms of someone who both damned you and saved you. 

　⁺ ✦

“If Igris and Yoo Joonghyuk fought, who would win?” 

“Igris,” you answered without missing a beat. There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in your face as you opened your mouth, and it was so strong that he almost believed that your Commander could beat the true ‘protagonist’ of this world. “And if he lost, I’d win for him.”

This! This was his chance to get back at that squid bastard! 

“...Want to test your hypothesis?”

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 27

holy shit Pash is Wake’s niece?? and thus Gideon’s cousin?? this family tree (and honestly everyone in it) is unhinged. having a cousin who is both undead and also the kid of a guy she absolutely hates feels like it’s Pash’s worst nightmare coming true. this is probably the world’s second shittiest family reunion, bar the murder tea party at the end of HtN

Wake’s whole photo with Pash shows that she had a sentimental side beyond what she had going on with G1deon/Pyrrha i guess. rip Pyrrha, the only person she can reminisce with about the woman she loved is Pash, who just completely hates Pyrrha’s guts. fun!

the whole thing with young!Pash smiling while holding a gun is a little sweet that Wake seems to have cared an awful lot about her family, but also a pretty disturbing look at what it would be like to grow up in BoE, and why exactly Pash is so militaristic and dedicated to BoE’s cause

oh shit is the truck getting bombed? which reminds me we haven’t had a John chapter in quite a while

oh no, its worse than a bomb its Heralds from the RB. given Gideon was only really able to fight them at the end of HtN because she was in Harrow’s body and thus functionally immortal and kept regenerating, pretty much only Nona and Pyrrha stand any chance here 

okayy interesting tidbit of information from Pyrrha’s small speech here, which is that she seems to know/remember Gideon’s first name, from pre the Resurrection? makes me wonder that if she does remember stuff from before, if she’s going to ever give an account of events that contradicts the stuff John’s been saying in his chapters. Pyrrha Dve woman of mystery, the more i learn about her past the wilder it gets

i just adore that Nona’s first response to the RB here is to yell at the top of her lungs ‘you said you wouldn’t do anything weird!’ truly channelling Isaac and Jeannemary’s teenage embarrassment to new levels

i love that Nona’s copying what Cam says to her to try and calm down the RB. top 10 tips on how to negotiate with the vengeful ghost of a dead planet: use Camilla Hect’s emotional advice 

oh some very interesting stuff being said by the RB through Judith here. specifically that ‘the danger is upon you, and you do not even know … they are coming out of their tower, salt thing’. towers have been mentioned a couple times now, with Gideon and Ianthe being named the Tower Princes (probably by John) - with the turret image being on Chapter 16, where they first appeared on the broadcast - and the tower in the hidden message. all in all it doesn’t seem to spell anything good

also Nona in this chapter is just wonderful. i mean Nona’s always wonderful, but i especially love this moment where she grabs the sword despite not knowing how to use it, and her determination to confront the RB

given Nona’s declaration that she knows full well she’s not Harrowhark, and that the RB addresses Nona as the ‘Green-and-breathing thing’ and asks what a mysterious ‘he’ did to her, i feel very sure at this point that she’s Alecto’s soul. though you never know with this series, i’ve been blindsided too often by reveals to be certain of anything 

[vasyandii]

🦋: How long did it take them to get out of the awkward early relationship stage? Have they gotten more confident around each other?

💔: Do they have any previous relationship experience from past partners? How does it reflect on how they handle their current one?

🕊️: Give just a general domestic tidbit for em (things they like about each other, routines, habits, and just overall sweet stuff)

For Krueger and Nak!

Great to see you again One horned beast!!The Ask Game

🦋How long did it take to get out of the awkward early relationship stage? Have they gotten more confident around each other?

Honestly? A week. It would've been shorter if they went official off the bat.

Nak didn't know how to respond to romantic affection. Her confusion with where they stood on their relationship (at the time unlabeled) was also a factor. Krueger is more laid back, he just did whatever felt right, and wanted to prioritize just having her comfortable with him in that way. (Idk if that makes sense)

They're more comfortable around each other now than they are when they started going out.

💔 Do they have any previous relationship experience from past partners? How does it reflect on how they handle their current one?

Nak? None. Krueger's her only relationship experience LMAO what a loser /j . She didn't really have crushes or interest in anyone but herself back in Laos. The couples she saw around during her time in the LPAF gave her insight in how a good and bad relationship is supposed to be (basically living vicariously lol). So when she started being in a relationship with Krueger, she mimicked what she saw in the past before she found her own pace.

Krueger has had a few relationships in the past, but mostly preferred to stay single for longer periods of time. He didn't like how people would change the moment there was romantic feelings involved, and expectations of just having to be "the stoic mysterious lover thats closed off" irked him. With Phayvanh he didn't want that; he wants to be able to be silly around her in the way they usually are, she's one of his best friends. Luckily it came easy with her, their pace was similar in practice :3

🕊️ Give just a general domestic tidbit for em (things they like about each other, routines, habits, and just overall sweet stuff)

I already Answered this in the last ask but I'm gonna do it again in more detail >:D !! I Love these!!

If Nak has a broken arm, Krueger ties her hair up for her, sometimes he switches up the ponytail to have it be braids or a half up half down type of thing. (It takes everything in him to not give her the most atrocious hairstyle)

The way they drink tea is so vastly different. Nak drinks hers with nothing while Krueger puts too much sugar in his

Just Admiring each other's tattoos idk they're dumb. Nak is fond of the one on his stomach, but makes fun of the one on his back (the wolf one). Krueger just idly traces the designs of Nak's tattoos on her back with his fingers.

Just??? One randomly smacks the others ass HARD and runs off so the other chases after them?? Weirdos. (Nak is guilty of this)

This interaction:

"Phayvanh it's 8 in the morning."

"What about it."

"Put on a shirt."

"Put on some pants."

"You're flashing me."

"You're flashing me!"

Then they watched TV.

Thank you for reading :D it's been a while since I've done stuff explaining their dynamics so hopefully it's ok ;u;

[thebiscuitlabryinth]

because i am sickeningly fascinated with shadowvanilla's dynamic and am also fascinated with translation and linguistics, i've been using machine translation and my basic grasp of japanese to look through their kr and jp interactions. it's mostly for fun and curiosity and the nuances are definitely lost, so take them with a pinch of salt, but here's some interesting little tidbits:

in both kr and jp, when pv asks who he is, sm says something along the lines of how pv has been 'in my space, in front of my gaze', which feels a little more specific than the english and also makes it seem like sm has a claim over the space. interestingly, this is still followed by him later explicitly referring to the space as the abyss of pv's soul - though in kr, sm may call it 'where i looked into the abyss of your soul' rather than pv's soul itself. I don't have the korean knowledge to be able to try and verify that, though it would make sense, since the space is also supposedly the dark side of the moon

(though if it is the dark side of the moon, why is pv always there for his breakdowns? and if it is the abyss of pv's soul, how is sm there? through soul jam magic nonsense??)

when talking about their power, jp and kr describe it as 'the power you mistake for truth is just dancing in my giant palm of knowledge', which is really just a difference in metaphor but does give some cool ties to sm's whole puppeteer theme

in kr only, sm specifies that pv has never left his sight 'from start to finish'. it was kind of implied in the use of never anyway, but i do find the specification interesting, even though it still doesn't really give us any pointers as to when this supposed start is

in eng, after complaining about how pv snatched away half his power, sm laments that the light of truth didn't make pv any smarter ('baffling! befuddling!'). in jp, he specifically says 'after all, you are not a vessel that (can) hold the light of truth...so i'll take it back'. in kr, he says something along the lines of 'after all, you are not smart enough to hold the light of truth...i need it back'. the latter two are pretty similar, though the switch from take to need caught my eye

actually, it may just be the change in vocal delivery, but it feels like in kr and jp there's a more heavy emphasis on pv's intelligence? or it's a connotation thing since i'm more familiar with eng - generally where eng uses silly, jp and kr downright calls pv stupid and repeats things like 'how am i meant to explain this to you?' and 'do i have to explain in detail?'. very bluntly condescending, on all fronts, really hammers in the whole 'i am the master of knowledge itself' thing.

in both, when gingerbrave asks what sm did to pv upon waking up, sm says that it's been a while since they've met and that they 'spent some alone time together'. again, the gist is the same as him calling it having a little chat, though it emphasises alone and not much else. japanese in particular uses 「ふたりきりの時間」, which literally means "time for just the two of us"

after the biggest liar question is raised, where eng goes 'well well well", jp and kr ask 'are you worried?'. same taunting undertones.

when pv answers that he is the biggest liar, where eng says he 'really knows his stuff', kr and jp specify that pv can 'understand the intention of the person setting the question (sm)! amazing!' in jp, the verb 「理解しあう」 is used, which specifically means 'to come to a mutual understanding'. this is particularly mocking because sm essentially handed pv the answer by bullying him into it

in eng, the chapter title for their confrontation in the abyss is 'sweet whispers of lies'. in kr and jp, it's more along the lines of 'in the comforting embrace of lies' which. somehow sounds more intimate and is somehow even funnier. girl what comfort. that was five minutes straight of pv being subject to torment and ridicule.

it's not anything groundbreaking - and again, likely not fully accurate - it's just interesting to look at the little differences! it's also interesting to hear the differences in vocal delivery too. when the 'light of truth' is goading pv to cut the tree, in jp it sounds pretty mocking, like in eng, but the original kr sounds more... urgent? not quite coaxing, but definitely more encouraging. also, i haven't taken a look at the text, but if you haven't, i would highly reccommend listening to the taiwanese mandarin dub too because it's a lot of fun! sm's line delivery is a lot more aggressive generally, but his va is obviously having a ton of fun - he inserts a lot of additional laughs and huffs and general vocal character

[shiny-jr]

[[Damnation!Au(I think that's the name?) Reader on Jamil's and Kalim's story kept reminding me of these quotes for some reason]]((Note: Here where I live Jafar's parrot name is Iago, im not sure if it's the same where you live so I hope this makes sense))

Kalim: I lost Iago!reader...

Jamil: How did you LOSE Iago!Reader?!

Kalim: To be fair, they are very small.

.

Kalim: Jamil’s amazing at concentrating. Once he starts reading, the only way he'll notice you is if you take his book away. Not even if you hit him or shake him!

Iago!Reader: That was him ignoring you...

.

Jamil, to Iago!Reader: If you see Kalim, give them this message *makes a neutral face* He'll know what it means.

*Later that day*

Iago!Reader: Oh, and Jamil said to give you a message! *makes a neutral face*

Kalim: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure!

.

Iago!Reader: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?

Jamil: Kalim, probably.

.

Jamil: I don't like bugs. Kalim, are you even listening to me?

Kalim: ...I seem to have misplaced my ant farm.

Jamil, at Iago!Reader: 😦

Gonna use this opportunity to mention some fun little facts and tidbits about ParrotMC, or as you refer to them as, IagoMC. Going by order of the quotes you gave. I'm currently just writing down whatever comes to mind so yeah.

They wouldn't necessarily lose this MC, it's just that they wander off frequently whenever the opportunity presents itself. What this MC is up to? Something they're not supposed to be doing, no doubt.

MC knows that Jamil doesn't like Kalim, and MC isn't afraid to tell him how it is. The only thing is, they refrain a lot of the time, because they don't want to raise alarms or make Kalim aware of Jamil's true malicious intentions. Of course, MC refrains primarily for their own self interests.

Jamil and MC get along surprisingly well, but maybe it's because MC keeps up the facade of being his old lackey. They'll openly make jabs at each other, but they'll also make jabs at Kalim when he isn't around. That often gets the vizier to crack a smile, and very occasionally even laugh.

Extending off that last part, MC will make jabs at Jamil. They'll point out and insults things from his appearance, to his personality, to his fears, and everything else MC notices. Although it seems harsh, Jamil does the same, and MC quickly learns what not to say. Just as MC notices things about Jamil, Jamil observes much more about MC.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

What Shall We Become

I did NOT take a break! Sequel to Feeding Alligators.

After tripping a mad wizard’s trap, Astarion—now blinded—must navigate the Underdark with Eleanor back to their crew. These two shitheads must cheat, stab, and flirt their way through flooded caves, monsters, and something hunting them in the dark. All while very confusing feelings begin to muddle up Astarion’s Very Simple plan.

On AO3.

What happened to the gith creche is absolutely not his fault. The murderous lizards should have thought twice before burrowing themselves into a monastery with an all-powerful weapon pointed at it. How was he supposed to know that grabbing some enchanted mace would set the damned thing off and obliterate them all? He was lucky to get out with his own skin.

And the mace. Which he can’t use very well, but their illustrious leader perked up when the wizard explained what, exactly, it was made of and her dark gaze turned razor sharp. They all agreed the cleric seemed the most adroit at using it.

But it’s that same leader and his new ally who steps between him and the gith—who is, perhaps understandably—upset about the whole “entire nest of her people being scorched to death by the full, concentrated power of the sun.” He’s tried to explain her people’s folly in location, but that seemed only to make her more murderous and their leader shot him a look that clearly told him to make himself scarce while she talked the gith down.

One point for their new, little alliance. He congratulates himself as he sits next to a grim and gray wizard.

And that problem only gets worse when, days later, they come across yet another wizard. Astarion doesn’t catch the man’s name, but he does overhear the part about Mystra, the goddess of magic and former lover of their own wizard until he cocked it up, wants the man to find forgiveness by throwing himself at the Absolute and blowing himself up.

Honestly, it seems like a waste. The wizard can be useful. It’s rather a shame to think of all that going up in some grand, mystical bang. There’s a perfectly good cult they could all be controlling instead.

He does not voice that particular part to their illustrious leader when she comes over glaring and muttering. He saw glimpses of her mind the night she murdered the gur trying to abduct him. Enough to know she won’t share in that opinion.

“All y’all’s gods ain’t shit,” she says. Which is true. And then she adds in an interesting tidbit. “At least our worlds got that in common.”

He’s heard scraps from her before—mostly her conversations with their now-brooding wizard. Something of a possibility sparks in the back of his mind. He’s so used to continually squashing those—no point—but stays his metaphysical hand this time.

She’s an interesting one. Naive and knowledgeable. Disgustingly charitable, yet single-mindedly ruthless. A walking contradiction. His battered curiosity wonders what type of world could shape its people so.

“How many followers does Mystra got?” she says, apropos of nothing. She does that frequently.

“Oh, thousands, I should imagine,” he says. When she only continues to glare at nothing, he thinks through his answer, traces it back to her question, and follows that back to what must have—

They’d slaughtered the followers of that burgeoning minor god only a tenday or so ago. Appalling thing, that deity. The murders had weakened the god so much it couldn’t follow after them as they fled. Ergo, she must be plotting…

He giggles. He can’t help it. “You’d try to destroy Mystra? The goddess of magic?”

And she scowls at him. “Not if it means killing a bunch’a people. Not…not that way.” Then she runs a hand over her face and swears low. “That is such a fucked up thing to say. I mean, I wish I could just smash out all her teeth. Y’know, all personal. Without having to hurt people who don’t got nothing to do with it.”

A walking contradiction. Innocence and violence in one breath.

All of their tentative companions are useful, but their leader is fun. He’s glad she’s come to her senses.

***

So of course, they’re ambushed the next day by a gith patrol. One of them riding a dragon. It’s different from the gith that approached them all the night after their gith refused her queen. These ones are trying quite diligently to kill them all.

“Elminster warned us about increased patrols,” the wizard shouts as he deflects an arrow aimed at his face with a magical shield.

“I wonder if that has anything to do with blasting apart their creche,” says the cleric, as if she wouldn’t have done the same thing if she thought she could get away with it. She even got a legendary weapon out of the whole ordeal.

Astarion busies himself with stabbing a gith in the eye socket and dragging it in to rip out it’s throat. Their leader had once speculated that gith blood would be sour. Shockingly, she’s almost accurate. He doesn’t quite taste things the same as the others (he has very little memories of being alive, but he doubts food tasted like ash before). But in that first, hot mouthful, he remembers a sweet nabbed from the counter. Sprinting away in his short pants, and ducking into a nook in the garden to stuff his stolen treasure into his mouth as lemon tang burst over his tongue.

He doesn’t get much more than that one gulp, as one of the other gith spots him and takes exception to his dining on one of their fellows. The lizard takes aim at Astarion’s face with a suspiciously glowing bow.

“Do it!” their illustrious leader shouts. Because she’s been hatching a plan, and the wizard, looking more distressed than usual, casts out his hands and opens a portal.

Oh good.

Astarion drops his prey, drops into a crouch, and sprints for that spinning vortex to safety. He’s reasonably sure the others follow. That’s not really his concern. His bag of holding thumps against his side as his feet pound the last, few feet. He catches one crystal-clear glance of the wizard’s face—lips pressed tight, eyes squinting, sweat running down his forehead and cheeks—and then Astarion dives through.

***

And crashes into a man on the other side.

He rights himself easily enough. The man—a human—isn’t so lucky and ends up spilled over the ground.

Astarion does not put his knives away. Or even down.

Their leader is already standing there, talking fast to a human woman and trying to clear the area. Which is a good idea as the big druid comes barreling through next, carrying both the cleric and the dog under each arm. Then the owlbear cub—she named it Sweetums, of all things—followed by the rest of their merry band.

Astarion studies this new group as the portal closes itself. A motley crew, almost entirely human, and with a certain air of lawlessness about them. He catches a golden-haired man flashing hand signals—thieves cant—to the talking woman. The woman doesn’t even look away from his leader as she responds.

Trouble?

Hold. Weapons ready.

Oh dear.

Their gith pants to one side, teeth bared, as furious as he’s ever seen her. He steps into the tiefling’s shadow where she won’t notice him. Their leader successfully talked her down from murdering him, but he’d rather not remind her of all that just now.

It looks like they’ve all crashed into a caravan, of sorts. Boxes and barrels are scattered around them, several dinged but none broken. Not merchants, he thinks—though merchants have their own hand sign as well. And these don’t strike him as bandits; their teeth are too good for that. No, they’re organized, disciplined (no one has attacked yet, despite the gith shouting), and they’re using thieves cant. It’s not until he edges to the side, his foot just about touching a smaller box, that he spots the sigil painted onto it.

Zhentarim. Of course. Though they’re operating further out than he realized. They must be expanding.

Something niggles, though. It plucks at the strings of his memory that trigger a version of dread he’s accustomed to. Something important. Something to avoid.

Then the fog in his mind shifts and there it is: a box in a cave, the air positively drenched in the stink of rot and burnt hair and stale blood. Their leader and the wizard standing over a chest, and she could ask him to help her with the simple lock barring her from her little prize. He hopes she does, so he can refuse her. But then that great oaf of a tiefling woman chops the front right off and it turns out they were keeping a halfway pickled spectator in there.

Astarion blinks, and the Zhentarim leader is talking about a lost crew. She doesn’t seem aware that they all lie scattered about in pieces out in the foothills. She’s offering them a job tracking the dead men down.

Their illustrious leader is going to accept. Of course she is. It’s both charitable, and will pay well (he’d be half-tempted himself, if he’s honest) (which he sometimes is).

He could easily stab the Zhentarim leader in the brain stem at this angle; he’s quite hungry, anyway. Though that would set off the others and give their group another reason to be annoyed with him. So he regretfully folds that idea up and slips it into his pocket.

Which leaves signaling their leader.

“Darling,” he says.

And being an absolute treat, she looks over. He calls them all darling at some point or another, and on more than one occasion; he could have been doing the same now, to any of them, yet she responds. Sex or no, he’s got hold on her.

“Do we really have time for this?” he says and points to his temple. He means the whole “looming tadpole transformation.” But she blinks at him, and then her mind reaches out to tap his. More of a polite knock on the door than what he did to her that night in the blood-soaked clearing.

Ah, yes. That would be a fantastic idea. Of course that’s what he meant.

He reaches out carefully, mindful of her threat after his last little indiscretion. Focuses on an image: the Zhentarim mark on the box near his foot. The same one that box in the warg slaughter cave, dead pieces lying everywhere. The box she opened.

The connection cuts. Across from him, their cleric tenses (he must not have been as focused as he thought, time to raise those walls back up).

“I think my associate is right,” their leader says. “We’re on a pretty tight schedule. But if we hear anything about them fellas, we’ll point them back your way, yeah?”

The Zhentarim leader sizes her up. She apparently comes up lacking.

“A shame,” the woman says. “I thought we might be dealing with professionals. Seems that mishap with the portal is more in line with your work. Suit yourself.”

Their leader lets the insults roll off her. Seems genuinely not to mind—except he catches the tiniest flicker of movement as she traces a pattern over her thumbnail back and forth. Oh. Apparently she does register it and does very much care.

Either way, they’re cleared to leave with regrettably no blood spilled. And the Zhentarim don’t notice one of their boxes vanishing. It was a smaller thing. So easy to lose in all the chaos.

The wizard mutters again and opens the portal more deliberately this time. And off they pop into the Selunite outpost in the Underdark.

Index - Next

[thenewrises]

enjoy my brain rambles (18+ MDNI)

idk the last time i did a theory/full lore post on anything since 17 year old me played mystic messenger in 2017 (IN FUCKING PHYSICS!!!!!) but for some reason 14 days with you has been on the forefront of my brain for over a year so. also it's so funny how not into yandere games/dark romance i was years ago but the moment i started college and started reading shit like ACOTAR (not dark romance but like... y'know... rhys...) i am like damn... what if someone was THAT into me me... (this does not include haunting adeline i fucking hate that book)

anyways sorry for the ramble!!!! some fun stuff i have found in the last idk few days of perusing old stuff, new stuff, etc.

also, a lot of hints i've found have been followed up by "👀". this is not the case with everything but just a lil tidbit i noticed! :)

The official 14DWY blog is @14dayswithyou

edit: put 18+ mdni in title because the game is 18+! should have mentioned that LOL

Ren's name!

I have been super interested in finding out his name, which i will send guesses sometime to the ask box when i have more as to not spoil anything if i'm right. BUT, i can share everything i have collected! i do know we will know more about him in day 7 possibly but i want to hopefully give some help if anyone wants to guess like me!

(Not In Name) ❌ - T, D, Z, S

(In The Name) ✅ - N, R, A, E

does not begin with - E, R, B, A, P

does not end with - N, L, Y

extras ⁃ 8 letters (could be more) ⁃ not traditionally masculine ⁃ american ⁃ emerald has three letters (E, A, R are my guesses) ⁃ clarence (two letters right spot) ⁃ emerson (one letter right spot) ⁃ marienne (one letter right spot) ⁃ his sister called him ren

so, with this in mind i have a few ideas. it seems the letter "R" is in the fourth position in his name. the letter "E" seems to be at the end of his name. i believe his name may be unisex or possibly more typically feminine, but he was named by his mother after her two friends (which i believe are Teo's relatives). some guesses about the name i have are: i believe his name may begin with an L or F, but this is just a guess i have but i do not believe it begins with a C. either "ren" is in his name altogether or another variation such as rien. but! this is just a theory (matpat... thank u).

some extras:

_ _ _ r _ _ _ e

edit: upon some scrolling before bed i am starting to believe their name may end in “rence” or “riene”. will update but that’s where i’m landing right now.

edit 2: may ALSO end in renie!

2. Ren's hands!

so we know ren has scarred hands from an accident prior to the events of the game before he ran from home. i don't know exactly what caused the scarring, but i believe it was some kind of altercation with his father from the sounds of it. it was said that ren left his mom in absolute hysterics when he left, so i believe there are a few things that could have happened.

i don't know if ren's father would hurt his mother but let's assume he wouldn't, maybe ren was presenting more masculine, talking back to his father, becoming a "threat" towards taylor, who knows! whatever happened, ren got into an altercation with taylor that ended in the scarring. I believe it has something to do with fire, taylor may have been set of fire somehow. maybe taylor wanted to burn the house down. OR, maybe ren tried to burn the house down with taylor in it...

it's possible that taylor may have tried to harm ren's mother that he attempted to save his mom and burn his father/harm his father. whatever happened, hana was not present for this as i believe this is when ren ran away from home IF this is how it happened.

maybe what happened to his hands was much longer before he left. i've seen some questioning that when leon had a birthday party, he invited hana but she did not go for reasons unknown. what this could mean is that something happened WHEN hana still lived there before she was sent off to school. maybe this was when ren got the scars on his hands. maybe taylor tried to harm ren due to him simply being male, maybe it was something else. maybe ren fought back. maybe taylor tried to hurt ren's mother, causing him to be punished by his father. all i know is, ren in an ask has said “I-I didn’t mean to… He— I didn’t have much of a choice…”

3. Playlist!

a while ago, saint put out this playlist and explained that characters and endings are connected to the songs. from other's guesses and my own curiosity, i went through and did some eliminations and found these to be the most possible to be connected:

shapeshift - ren

almost had me - violet

glimpse of us - leon

angel - ending

god complex - ending (possibly leon)

EDIT: gun - ending (most likely bad)

heart-shaped hologram - EDIT: I believe this is ren's introspection now

these could be inaccurate! but from what i have seen i think these are the best guesses for some of the songs. maybe i'll try to guess more in depth, but for now, this is just from what i've read up! 14 days also has the potential to be an ending, but once again this may be another post.

conclusion

i am so out of my mind. but it is so fun to evaluate lore i have always loved doing it and this game itched my brain. i reccommend this game if you're interested in horror and are 18+ then i say check out this game! read the warnings ahead of time, but i find it funky fresh

anyways womp womp, redacted come home, emo boy by ayesha erotica lookin' ass

[kazoohaa]

hello!! i would like to request something platonic with jing yuan

how would jing yuan be as a father? (like biologically) headcanons please

𝐀𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑. honkai star rail

— notes. omg yes !! also i’m sorry ive been really inactive recently yall 😭

— details. father!jing yuan & gn!reader.

honestly i think he’d be really fun to have as a father!!

light teasing is engrained in his Personality™, he lovingly does it to you a lot

despite his responsiblities as the luofu’s general, 90% of the time he’s somehow free whenever you approach him for things

jing yuan is also 100% happy to spoil you, a lot — he believes that you deserve the best, after all!

what do you mean he can’t spend just a bit of money for you? just this one time? (it isn’t just this one time, and won’t be.) sure, it might seem like it’s a lot of strales (..it is,) but you don’t have to worry about it, he’s got more than enough :)

buys you lots of little things quite often, small presents and trinkets, something like a keychain or an interesting book he spotted, or just your favourite foods from aurum alley

jing yuan also regularly plays xianzhou starchess with you. he’s proud of having taught you many different strategies — a goood amount being ones that you’ve learned from observing his tactics during your games. he’s quite proud of that, it’s made your observational skills sharper, after all! but, even if you’re equipped with lots of knowledge on how he usually plays, it’s still always a challenge to beat him, especially since he keeps somehow managing to one-up you, leaving you baffled, or trying to pull things mid-match without you noticing LMAO

“...did you just take off that piece?”

“which?”

“there. i swear you had a piece on that square—”

“hmm? i don’t know what you mean.”

“daaaaddd.....”

it’s become a bit of a game between the two of you. a passerby could see you and jing yuan intensely staring at the board in silence, occasionally glancing at each other, and they’d think that the general and his child must be having an intense match of starchess — but really you two are just examining each other to try and figure out what their tactic is and when you can find a good time to snatch a piece /j

while he doesn’t talk about the past that much, since those times were rather... complicated, and also he doesn’t really see much reason to randomly speak about it. but he does mention some tidbits here and there if you ask him, but sometimes they’re also the most jaw-dropping things that you’ve ever heard, and then it leaves you doing a double take while you process that information he just dropped out of the blue like that — imagine hearing stories about the high cloud quintet for the first time

he also teaches you combat, although he hoped that there wouldn’t be many occasions where you’d have to use those skills. it is undeniable that some areas of the luofu are quite dangerous, especially because of the mara-struck and the followers of sanctus medicus wandering about, but as a parent, he’d prefer that you never get into any dangerous situations if he can help it.

sometimes, you train alongside yanqing, who gets really excited and absolutely fired up at the prospect of getting to spar against you, more so when he actually gets a chance to. being the child of the general, how cool is that! you must be a strong opponent! you two give each other pointers sometimes — jing yuan is a proud father x2, he’s happy you and yanqing get along so well :)

[canyoufucksoniccharacters]

It's time.

Alright, this is gonna be a long one. Not only am I covering the canon, mainline game Sonic, but his offshoots as well. Specifically, I will be covering Sonic in the mainline games, the Paramount movie version, Sonic Prime, and a tiiiiiiny tiny little itty bit of Archie. IDW is, from what has been implied as of the past about year and a half, canon; and it will be treated as such (with some caution, of course.), so it's not going to be handled separately.

Let's do this.

Alright, let's start as early as absolutely possible. There have been several, several statements regarding Sonic's age; the earliest of which was courtesy of our good old friends over at...

There would be a certain (mildly loud) funny video here, but Tumblr's weird barely present copyright protection probably kicked in. Anyways...

In the Sonic The Hedgehog cartoon, also known as SatAM, we get 2 tidbits of information. In the 2-part special called Blast From The Past, we see that Sonic and Sally are about the same age, both being kids of just about equal maturity. Later, in episode 24, Sally states that her age is 16. So, far as we could tell, Sonic was 16, or around that range. Now, we know that these cartoons aren't canon, but they definitely did have an influence over the canon of the series. Fun fact for you, Sonic's love of chili dogs was made up by the cartoons, and later adopted during the modern era by the games. Ain't that neat?

Chili dog related tangent aside, this was the only source we had for Sonic's age at that point. I've seen some say that he was stated to be 15 in the manual for Sonic 2, but upon trying to verify that claim I came empty-handed. The manual does mention Tails being 8, but no mention of Sonic's age as far as I could tell; and the same goes for every other Classic Series game. Except for...

Sonic Jam, the Sonic game absolutely no one cares about! In part because it's not much more than a game compilation and tech demo that served as the stepping stone for Sonic Adventure 1. Sonic Jam includes profiles for Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Eggman. This is in both the Japanese and English version, and both contain ages for the characters! Tails is listed as 8, Knuckles as 15, and Eggman as "??" or Unknown, in the case of the English version.

This brings us to Sonic, who I will be using the Japanese profile for.

The part that says "年令" translates to "Age". So, here it says that Sonic ranges between 15 and 16... Whatever that means. In the English version, it just says 15. Either way, all these make sense for these games. Sonic's characterization back in the day was all in on the rebellious teenager angle, an effort to give him an air of edge and coolness that other platforming mascots didn't have, which did admittedly win people over during the heat of the console wars! Sonic was absolutely huge when the series was new, to a degree that other mascots just couldn't match up to. Of course, that dropped off over time, but that's a discussion for another day, and not on this blog. This blog is about gay sex, not the videogame industry.

So, Sonic is either 15 or 16, most likely 15. All is good here, everything lines up, other than maybe the fact that Amy was listed as 8 in the Sonic CD manual, but that's probably fine considering back then her crush on Sonic was treated as a one-sided admirer type thing, rather than an actual romantic interest (That was usually reserved for Sally in media that actually cared about that kinda thing, anyways.)

So, fast forward to the Dreamcast; Sonic gets a redesign! Longer limbs, green eyes, and overall less chibi-like and seemingly more mature appearance. So, you would assume he's older, right? After all, him an everyone else around him got the same treatment, except for Eggman who... Seemingly just became a smidge more realistic. A smidge, anyways. You can only be so realistic being shaped like Gru.

Well... Yeah! It would look like it, since no further statements about his age were made, and in the Archie comics, they actually aged him up a year to justify his change in design. Archie isn't canon, obviously, but it shows the direction that was taken; as the players aged, so did Sonic, no matter how much people got up in arms about the green eyes for some strange reason.

... And then Sonic Heroes came along.

Perfectly fine game, mind you! One of the more polarizing ones, sure, and some of the writing could have been a smidge better (specially on Amy's side of things), but overall not really anything egregious. But for our sake... This hellspawn was born.

Ah, the Sonic Heroes US manual. The root cause of incredibly stupid Sonic shipping discourse; as well as the really, really inaccurate Sonic Channel ages.

All vitriol aside, let's look at what it has to say about our blue blur.

... 15? Really? When our previous estimate was also 15-16? Are you actually telling me Sonic 1 to Heroes all happened within less than a year? Amy got aged up from 8 to 12, which... Either age would be a bit concerning considering they're still pushing the whole romantic interest thing, one-sided as it may still be. That aside, it makes no logistical sense for Sonic to still be 15 after he's literally physically shown to be older.

On top of that, this same manual ages Espio down from 17 (In the Chaotix manual) to 16, and Vector up from 16 to 20. Vector I can believe, but uh. Aging down isn't exactly a thing that most people do.

What's worse, this age was then listed in the official Sonic Channel website... Even after they made a game where the first thing you see is Sonic celebrating his birthday. Meaning he had to have been 14 before that game to stay 15, which is contradictory to say the least. Additionally, there's a potential time gap of 5 months between SA2 and Heroes, only ever referenced in the Playstation 3 PSN release of Sonic Heroes.

This age was never once modified, even after Sonic Forces' 6 month timeskip, meaning Sonic had a birthday party, was locked up for 6 months, and somehow didn't age a year during all that. Nor after the several infrastructure-demolishing incidents such as an entire city being flooded and wrecked, the planet being shattered into pieces, among others.

And you wanna know something funny? In Sonic Generations, Classic Sonic is explicitly stated to be Sonic from the past, which checks out considering how he behaves less maturely and is proportionally much smaller. And then in 2015, the Classic Sonic style guide comes out.

15.

15.

15.

Somehow. Some. Fucking. How. Classic Sonic is listed as 15... While Modern Sonic is listed as 15 too. Oh, Amy is also listed as 12, by the way. Despite that being her (ALLEGED) age in Sonic Heroes.

Unless they're from different universes or something, there's no way-

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Yeah, so, Sonic Forces released 2 years after that guide. And it tried, emphasis on tried, to retcon Classic Sonic into being an entirely separate character. This was, however, later undone by Sonic Origins both re-establishing the Classic games as taking place in the past, on top of a TailsTube episode saying as such; that Classic Sonic is, indeed, from the past. It's even stated that Modern Sonic is who Classic Sonic grew up to be!

IDW doesn't make our job any easier, either. This is information from when the Tangle & Whisper story was ongoing;

However... I'd take it with a grain of salt, as it's from before IDW was considered canon, and back when Sega was much more strict on the mandates and what they did and didn't allow in Sonic media. Plus, this was still the age listed on Sonic Channel, before they removed it.

Oh yeah, that. Why don't we talk about that?

On October of 2022, all the ages on Sonic Channel were removed.

This... Was a good move. SonAmy is still being pushed ever so very slightly, with Amy's crush still being present in a recent short even if she's much more mature about it now, which would make their age difference less than ideal. On top of that, the ages really just didn't line up chronologically speaking.

So, where does that leave us now?

In this interview, Takashi Iizuka is asked about Sonic's age; to which he responds that "He's a teenager."

"Teenager" is a bit of a loose definition, probably on purpose. Generally speaking, the range for teenager ranges from anywhere to 13-19, to 13-21 depending on who you ask. Some people make the cutoff at 18, though that's almost never done when it comes to scientific material.

So, let's recap. Sonic is still considered a teenager, but he's always been considered one, all the way back from the Classic series. So, we can safely assume Classic isn't 15; either that, or he was, and the modern series takes place during anywhere from 2-6 years, which I could believe. Either way, he's at minimum about 13-14, as he's a younger version of Sonic who hasn't hit a growth spurt yet.

Then, we have anywhere from 1 to 2 canon birthdays for Sonic, depending on whether you count Runners as canon or not (which I would admittedly not at all fault you for not considering it canon, considering it's a mobile game; and a discontinued one at that), as well as a 6-month timeskip during Forces, potential 5-month timeskip during Heroes (which isn't the most unbelievable proposition or anything, considering it would be a bit weird if Shadow was presumed dead only to show back up like a week later), and a bunch of events that have caused severe structural damage to key locations in the world, namely during Sonic Unleashed and Sonic Adventure 1 as the 2 biggest examples. Oh, and Sonic Forces throwing absolutely everything into disarray on a seemingly global scale, which would take quite a bit of time to be fixed, specially considering that's still an ongoing process in IDW.

On top of all this, it's outright shown that these things don't just happen every week or whatever, things happen off-screen, characters get time off to do their own stuff, and from the looks of it, Murder Of Sonic The Hedgehog is canon, as nothing there conflicts with canon and it's officially endorsed. Which means WE HAVE YET ANOTHER FUCKING BIRTHDAY PARTY, FOR AMY THIS TIME.

Further proving the point i just stated, let's look at the geographical Prison Island. This is what it looks like in Sonic Adventure 2.

A big, mechanical prison complex made out of nothing but cold hard metal. Filled with robots, not a single trace of nature in sight. Said nature however is not too far from these military bases, though! These forests are also on the island.

So, these are the two main parts of Prison Island. Abundant nature, and military facilities. There's very little difference once the story progresses further, though, as the island...

Fucking explodes. (Clip from Sonic Adventure 2 Real-Time Fandub. Credit to SnapCube.)

So, why is this relevant? Well, we revisit this location in Shadow The Hedgehog! The game, not the guy.

As we can see, there is no longer any difference between nature and construct. The base has been completely abandoned, and overtaken by the nearby forests, with greenery sprouting all over it. Now, it's not impossible that plant life in the Sonic series grows a bit faster than real plants, but methinks that an entire military base doesn't get overtaken by nature this hard within a month. There's entire new trees, grass and plants growing all over what was previously pavement, not even the walls are safe! Every single area is either covered in toxic waste, plant life, or both. Plant life that, again, needs time to grow. So there's likely a pretty big chunk of time between Sonic Adventure 2 and Shadow The Hedgehog, even though they're only separated by 1 game, Sonic Heroes.

Add that to the many many reasons these things can't just happen on a week by week basis! On to my next point...

No, proportions don't really mean anything in terms of age. Sure, Vanilla is quite big, and so are the conductor and his wife, but Rouge is undoubtedly an adult and her proportions are more or less the same as everyone else. So all they help distinguish is between children (Tails, Cream) and non-children. In this exact screenshot we see that Vanilla is much taller than rouge, almost being at eye level with each other despite Rouge sitting on an elevated surface, while Vanilla is standing. This height difference is also present in the games, although we rarely get to see them next to each other.

So, all this taken into account, the fact Sonic has been a teenager since the Classic series, the fact there's been a few timeskips and at least 2 birthdays, several events that would need some time to recover from, specially with a still-ongoing recovery process after Forces, the fact Elise is allegedly 17 in 06 (which would make her whole romantic subplot with Sonic even more uncomfortable than it already is by default if he was any younger than say, idk about 16 years old at the least), among many other reasons that I may have forgotten to mention, the chances of Sonic being 15, hell, even 16 are very, very slim. At the very least, he's got to be about 17, and he could honestly be as old as 19 or 20 (depending on whether Iizuka meant he's of adolescent age or a teenager).

So, if you do still view Sonic as a minor, that's perfectly fine, and honestly believable; but with all these facts stacked up, as time goes on, it will be less and less likely that him being underage will be a real possibility. This isn't the Pokemon anime. There's actual structure, lore, and a proper sense of scale; and something like Sonic's age being frozen at 15-16 just wouldn't make any sense.

All this to say, Sonic is, most likely, no longer a minor. There's some wiggle room where he could be one, but 18-19 is the most likely option, specially considering how Frontiers was comfortable with pitching his voice down. Yes, it was for the sake of the game's tone, but Tails's voice for example didn't have that much of a difference to it, because he's a child and it would be weird for a character to sound so much older than they actually are- and this goes for Sonic too.

So, in conclusion, after extensive analysis and every source I could find for Sonic's age taken into account;

You can, most likely, fuck Sonic The Hedgehog.

...

BUT IT'S NOT OVER YET.

We need to take both his other iterations into consideration, as well as address characters whose fuckability status depends on him. First, the alternative versions.

Movie Sonic

This one's a kid. On top of acting much more immature and inexperienced, outright described as irresponsible- hell, Tom even says "Whether you wanna hear this or not, you're still just a kid. You've got some more growing up to do before you're ready to be the big hero". He acts like a kid, is referred to as a kid, and hell, it makes sense, the movies so far have adapted Sonic 1-3&K, the games where Sonic was still just starting out his adventures.

Prime Sonic

This one's... More uncertain. He's definitely quite immature and inexperienced; though he feels more... Reckless than anything else. More of an attitude problem than an age problem, really, considering how Amy and Shadow act, two characters who should be about the same age as him, but that act much more maturely for the most part.

This one's pretty up in the air, I'd say, considering how Prime seems to be comfortable having their own versions of the cast (going by how different Shadow seems to be and how he has seemingly no attachment to Rouge, who is one of the people he trusts the most in canon).

Oh yeah, I haven't watched season 3 yet, but I doubt it changes much of anything about this judgement.

THE SONIC-DEPENDENT ONES

THE ROBOT SONICS

While they're all likely able to consent (... Okay, Mecha MK. 1 is a bit more dubious on whether it's sapient), it would probably be unethical to fuck something that's made to look like someone who's a minor. While they were made when Sonic was definitely a minor, he isn't one anymore, and the resemblance is still there to pretty much the exact same degree, so there's really no ambiguity here.

You can fuck them. Go ham, robot-fuckers.

SCOURGE

Look, we're not covering the mess that Archie can be. But from what I gather, Sonic is, at most, 17 pre-SGW. And this is just an alternate version of that Sonic, who likely didn't go through all the uber weird shit that makes Archie Sonic's age a nightmare to deal with. So, no, unfortunately for a lot of you, you probably can't fuck Scourge. Fortunately, though...

SURGE

Surge's age is, according to this post by IDW artist and writer Evan Stanley, around Sonic's age. So, what goes for the hedgehog goes for the Tenrec, you can most likely fuck her. Go ham.

... Elise?

She was 17 during 06, and some time has passed since then, and it would be weird if she had any bigger of an age gap with Sonic, plus plenty of time has passed since 06, so... I guess you can? I don't see why you would, but power to you, I suppose. Can't judge.

MIGHTY AND RAY

These two have been here since SegaSonic The Hedgehog in the arcades, which happens even before Sonic 2 does! Ray is never once really implied to be young, no matter how much he may seem like Mighty's Tails equivalent (Which... He's not meant to be. He was made before Tails.), and he's most likely about even with Mighty, who is most likely the same age as Sonic, seeing how they're meant to be parallels (down to Sonic's sprites being rehashed for his sprites in Chaotix), and the Japanese manual for Knuckles' Chaotix listing him as 16.

They're here mostly because Mighty is a partial Sonic counterpart, and Ray tends to be anywhere that Mighty goes these days, so they might as well be treated as a package deal.

So, yes, you can most likely fuck them... Even if we have absolutely no idea what their modern versions look like. Seriously, where the hell have they been? At least we know they're fine, considering it's been stated that they're off on their own adventures these days.

Aaaand... That's it! That's all the Sonic-dependent characters I could think of, at least ones that I think don't really merit their own posts. TL;DR

Metal Sonic, Mecha Sonic, etc: Fuckable Scourge: Unfuckable Surge: Fuckable Elise: Fuckable Mighty: Fuckable Ray: Fuckable

The "Fuckable" marks should go with an asterisk, as Sonic's status is "Most Likely Fuckable", but still.

Phew. Finally done. I've spent pretty much all goddamn day writing this. Hopefully this is useful for someone. Hopefully. God knows it'll make my job easier.

I'll just go write the alt text and go eat something, this took... Way longer than I'd like to admit. See you when the post goes up.

Go ham, you beautiful horny bastards.

Edit: Future OP here! I had to remake this post because the DIC bit earlier somehow triggered some weird copyright stuff on Tumblr, basically hiding the post from anyone who isn't directly looking at the blog. In the meantime, I added that bit about Prison Island to further add to his potential fuckability. So his margin for being a minor is even smaller now! How fun! Anyways, now I'll be seeing myself out for the time being. Thanks, and have fun.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Oh no was the spin-off bad or just mediocre? Is there anything you particularly liked or disliked about it?

god okay let's get into the good, the bad, and the ???? of it all. hiding it entirely under a cut because spoilers ahoy.

the :)

I have reservations about the Riddler as a full protagonist that I'll articulate below, but I can't really fault any of the writing re: Eddie's dialogue at all. the characterization of the Riddler as an insufferably cocky and nosy motormouth works really well, and Hasan Minhaj seems like he's having a blast with the expanded role.

I also like ESCAPE ARTIST PICKPOCKET RIDDLER recognition!!!

also hey even though they didn't follow up on some of the very promising tidbits re: Eddie's potentially deteriorating mental state dropped in Unburied, I like that it was made clear that there are physical components to his riddle compulsion, namely mentioning that his chest was getting tighter. it adds an interesting dimension to his whole schtick!

having listed all these fun traits that I enjoy, I also respect that the story doesn't feel the need to like... soften Eddie in order to make him a more likeable protagonist. oh haha the funny little asshole man? yeah he killed people. he kills a guy literally in the course of the story after proclaiming in the very first episode that he's mostly non-violent. and he's 100% chill about it because fuck that guy! he doesn't matter, he's in the way of the riddle! and the whole ending with Nadira is... oofah doofah, that's crazy. that's crazy crazy. and it's pretty tasty!

I LOOOOOVE appearances from minor villains!!! bro we got THE FUCKING TALLY MAN in this!!! also hey when I wrote that absurdly long post-Unburied fic I CORRECTLY predicted Croc, Sportsmaster, and the fucking Condiment King someone. I don't know. pay me or kiss me on the mouth for that or something.

I wish there was more Barbara, of course, but I really like what we did get of her! I like that we've kind of skipped over any need for her to have a Batgirl era and just got straight to the good stuff of being almost Oracle. I love to see her exactly where she belongs: flagrantly committing cybercrime to save lives because she can.

also the sound design is still good, and I really like the new music for the opening and Azrael's motif

also speaking of Azrael I'm going to say ONE nice thing about how he was written which is that I DO think it's interesting that they directly pointed out that the concept of Azrael as an angel of death is actually much more prominent in Islam than Christianity while also making in unambiguous that the Nygmas are a Muslim family. it adds a little bit of intrigue to the connection between Nadira and JP, not nearly enough to actually redeem Nadira as a big bad in my eyes (see below) but it is interesting!

also lastly Eddie is flirting so hard with Bruce AND Barbara I love you problematic awful bisexual representation. AND Killer Croc wants to fuck him? madness.

the :/

I alluded to this earlier, but I don't know if I love Eddie promoted to the POV protagonist! it's a big departure from Unburied, not just in terms of who's the main character but also in terms of limiting the scope of the story. giving Bruce and Barbara's alternating perspectives in Unburied was brilliant for building up the mystery and creating suspense in the story, and when the story came together to focus fully on Bruce as Batman it felt organically earned.

and also on a more Eddie-centric note I just! think he works better as a supporting character for other people to bounce off of, rather than being a lead in his own right!

I'm putting this in :/ instead of :( because it's more of a matter of personal taste than anything but godddddd I wanted more Barbara :/ I love her :/ where is she :/ I'm mostly mad because I wanted a spinoff of her and Eddie solving crimes while he crashes in her couch and does petty crime but godddddd god god god I want her back so bad I love her more than Eddie and Bruce combined

while I like the emotional beats of the resolution with Nadira I don't... like her as a character or a storytelling device. like I'm sorry but I don't really care about the Riddler's family drama! especially not when it's as heavy-handed as "my sister told me riddles to distract me from our parents fighting." very reminiscent of the backstory where Leonard and Lisa Snart would hide out in an ice cream truck or whatever, please stop trying to make psychology this painfully clear cut.

I also didn't really need an origin story but I do like that it's kind of an updated version of his first BTAS episode!

I can't decide if Jean Paul unceremoniously killing off Flass is really funny or sucks shit. kind of both but it does veer towards the latter, I was really hoping that if they're going to keep making more of this podcast we would at least get to see Babs get an arc where she investigates Flass and gets justice for her dad on her own terms. but then again. it is pretty funny.

also god this isn't REALLY about the show but I have to say this. the Riddler a.) getting #calledout by Azrael for bearing false witness and b.) ESPECIALLY him trying to dunk on his sister by implying she should marry a white guy are SO FUNNY given the timing of the minor scandal re: Hasan Minhaj maybe just straight up making things up entirely in his comedy and SPECIFICALLY getting that poor woman doxxed by claiming she dumped him for racist reasons. I'M JUST SAYING. (editor's note: since absolved of all wrongdoing and the woman who wrote that piece is genuinely unhinged, but the timing was still BANANAS.)

the :(

I'm just gonna say it, man: I'm not into Colman Domingo's Bruce/Batman performance at all. I don't know what happened behind the scenes to precipitate Winston Duke leaving the role, but god fuck I'm in mourning. Duke is genuinely one of my favorite portrayals of Bruce ever for his distinctive Batman voice and how much expressiveness, vulnerability, and warmth he brings to the character, and while I wouldn't want his replacement to try and mimic that performance exactly (impossible!) it seems like Domingo just... wasn't even given the memo? this is a much flatter Bruce, and I simply cannot love him.

re: my complaints about Nadira above, her character is just handled in a really underwhelming way. having Eddie repeatedly call her "sis" is stumbling straight into the one of the worst of all lazy exposition techniques, especially since Bruce works his way to that exact revelation, like would it have killed anyone to just... let us wonder about the connection a *little* longer? also, again, those flashbacks are ARTLESS. in Unburied there's framing and context for all of the ways the past blends into the present, whether it's Strange's recordings or the story taking place inside Bruce's own meddled memories. it really feels like they're just hurling backstory at us with a catapult in this one.

the ultimate big bad reveal is... ugh. UGH. Unburied was a really cool nesting doll of a minor Batman villain being manipulated by a more well-known villain being manipulated by an A-list villain with a cool and unique spin on her backstory... Secrets in the Dark has an absolutely WASTED member of the Batfamily used as a killer of the week, controlled by a minor dirty cop and a complete OC who doesn't get much screentime at all. cool!

also hey listen. as soon as they start going "hmm... I don't know this is just too big for Flass... SOMEONE else must be helping him..." it's like. I don't know, man. do you think it's possibly the only new character introduced in the series who we know was just elected to a government position? do you think maybe that's who it could be?

also hey man speaking of which they just fucking. they just used Jean Paul as a random deranged serial killer and then the fucking Riddler managed to convince him to off himself. fucking. disrespectful. this feels like that episode of Arrow (sorry to cite Arrow in 2023, I know) when Helena's just like. an antagonist of the week for Oliver to fight. disrespectful!!!!

"Makenzie I thought you didn't even like Jean Paul why does it matter" I'M COMING AROUND ON HIM

overall the plot just feels way more hectic and unpolished than Unburied and it's Unfortunate!

also hey do you remember at the end of Unburied where Bruce just casually blows the lid open on Eddie being afraid that he's like. devolving and actively losing his grip on his own brain and it's like extra bad and scary because he has no idea whether it really means anything when he passes psych evals, etc? really cool how we never really brought that up again

where was Ace :( :( :( my good boy :( :( :(