#but it comes to a end now

[makshu]

Today is my graduation.

I will graduate from high school after long and drawn-out three years. I've been through a lot in these three years, problems with myself, problems with others... these are the worst. But I always learned something from these situations.

I installed tumblr in my freshman year, my goal was to have access to Undertale and Osomatsu-san content. And I had much more than that, today I can't imagine myself outside of this community lol. There were many struggles for me. And most of them are posted here.

First, a turbulent and confusing first year. I remember that time and I can say that it was my worst year so far. The amount of negative things I thought about myself was scary, when I reread things from that time I am shocked by how much I hated myself. It was the year that I got closer to Osomatsu-san and AJR too. I can only say that, these two things kept me going. Calling six fictional characters brothers seems stupid, but for me, to this day it brings me comfort, it was my only happiness at the time. And, I felt understood and heard when I listened to AJR, it was like a hug of understanding.

When I got through that year, it felt like I had just come out of a war. And I'm not kidding, I suffered at my own hands, both psychologically and physically. But it passed, and I managed to get through it alive.

My second year brought new people into my life (some of whom are still by my side), but it also brought me problematic people, someone who was a narcissist. It was a complicated year too, since it wasn't just me that I needed to take care of; I had two friends that I needed to free from someone else's hands. It was difficult, complex, stressful, but we managed to let go of it. And we still carry anger from that time. And I, after all, learned a lot, I learned to value what I feel, think and want for myself.

And this year? What can I say about this year? It was the most peaceful, in fact. However, something had to explode at some point. A completely flawed and problematic relationship where I came off as "wrong". And why? Just for prioritizing myself and getting out of a toxic relationship. I also got a psychological report this year, I already knew I had ADHD, but finding out that I'm also autistic took me by surprise (and I still don't fully understand it, but it's part of who I am).

But I got something valuable for me, a circle of friends that are good to be with. I always had problems with friendships, I think I've had more than 10 friendship circles, which kept breaking, and I felt alone (not to mention when they actually left me alone). It's very sad to know that I might not see some of them anymore, but I'll do everything in my power to keep them by my side, I don't want to lose them now. I love them, and I truly hope they feel the same about me.

I'm afraid of growing up, I'm afraid of changing. I'm actually terrified, I know I'm going to cry today, I know. I hate school, but I also love it in some ways. Knowing that I won't be playing with my friends in class anymore or watching my favorite teacher's class breaks me. I'm so scared.

My 2022 self is happy, but my current self is a little sad, and get the feeling of "I wanted more". But my "the good part" has arrived, and I'm glad to leave those dark years behind in a way.

Thank you to everyone who has helped me over the years and who has followed me, seriously, it means a lot to me. And I hope this support network will always be with me.

Well, I know I need to grow up, but I'm not ready yet. But it's time to open my eyes and face the ocean to find out who I am. They expect heaven from me but I gave them hell, but I finally got to the good part. Now it's time to be next up and I wish it could be forever, but I know that's impossible. But after all this, it's time to turn all these 100+ bad days into 100 good stories. Thank you to myself for getting this far, you're all that I got, and I'm proud that we made it this far alive.

May the graduation come!

[time-woods]

simon doodle in honor of fionna and cake dropping, sad old men gotta b my favorite species tbh

[sparemoon]

RELEASE THE DA2 VARRIC ROMANCE ENDING BIOWARE

[hinamie]

quick itfs sketch page

[egophiliac]

was this anyone else's first thought, or

[scribeofmorpheus]

Why Dragon Age Veilguard isn't a "Cathedral"

Concept art by Matt Rhodes

"To disinherit the storylines of past games goes directly against the notion of building cathedrals."

What is inherent with Veilguard that keeps bothering me is the fact that the world's choices truly didn't matter--and it doesn't simply bother me from a player perspective, it's not simply a grievance borne of frustration to what I (as a longtime fan) have lost. It's about the very culture of the arts under capitalism's new media habituation cycle [x][x].

Yes, I spent hours of my life playing and replaying each instalment of Dragon Age. Yes, I painstakingly curated a 'canon' world state by replaying what came before in preparation for Veilguard. Yes, I am even more unsatisfied with the end product--time hasn't helped, it's just widened the divide. But, and I can't stress this enough, these very personal gripes aren't what hit home the most. It's the inherent disregard of legacy. A legacy that the previous writers and game developers were building towards.

In the DAV artbook, "cathedral" is the word used to describe the process of making a game. Matt Rhodes' exact words are: "One artist can make a painting, but it takes a team to build a cathedral." Cathedrals took centuries to build. The architect who drafted the first blueprints would likely never see his work realised, he had to rely on those who came after him, like-minded and passionate, to see it through--for the culture, for the future, for legacy. Painters took on several apprentices for this reason too--giant frescoes were not completed by one man's hand, even if it is one man's name that immortalises them. Similarly, if you weave a narrative around choice, what good does it do to take it away at the final act if not to fall to caricature?

To disinherit the storylines of past games goes directly against the notion of building cathedrals.

Late-stage capitalism and profit-margin-obsessed game producers forcing developers to churn out meager content, to make a known brand into something it's not, to chase a fad or a popular trend... o, how reductive and cliche you've been forced to become Bioware. We have lost the cultural thought patterns relative to Cathedrals. We know only of barn-raised churches--done in a day but unlikely to last the turn of the seasons.

And don't even get me started on the music of Veilguard either. From Origins to World of Warcraft to Everquest to Baldur's Gate to Dungeon Siege, you can hear the intricate interconnected weave of sounds inspired by the Dungeons and Dragons-esque fantasy genre. You hear it in the repeated use of certain instruments, in the harmonic weeping notes of a bard-like singer or the foreboding echoes of drums as if of war. In tavern songs. But then, rather than hire someone who loves these worlds and this genre, who is a hungry artist looking to make a name, a legacy if you will, for themselves with a spectacular score, you hire any already sated composer, one well-into the encroaching years of career fatigue, whose notes repeat in countless projects, who feels less concise and more uninterested with each new project. One who has long since cemented his legacy. Someone in it for a paycheck and nothing else! And, to top it off, you let him compose something so minimalist? I am offended actually.

Cathedrals! We should have witnessed the final tile being placed on the Dragon Age cathedral. Instead, some architects walked up, tore down the interior and installed IKEA furniture and called it authentic before having to call the previous architects to come and fix the "load-bearing issues", forcing them to rush and add a coat of varnish and a few 'aged' details for authenticity.

[dyke-in-crisis]

I have noticed a pattern & I’m guilty of all of these

[uncharted-constellations]

Them, your honor

Anyways thank you echoes for giving poor a-ttp link a rest

[lotus-pear]

mourning black and the death of ideals

[starry-bi-sky]

on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.

Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.

Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.

Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.

There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.

[kendyroy]

thinking about how this movie could’ve ended like any other superhero movie where they go their separate ways before teasing some future threat

but instead it ended with wade calling out logan’s name romcom-style, and them living a happy domestic life together with their newly adopted dog

[starsonablackboard]

are you sure?

[delicourse]

i miss them a little if im gonna be honest

[bluerosefox]

Her Astrophel and Sterling

hmmm

Hmmmmmmmm

You know what.

You know those AU's where the Batfam finds or learns about either hidden or thought to be dead Al Ghul Danny! with a deaged/daughter Dani (Ellie) (I should know, I created a few of those storylines) but what if, now hear me out, what if instead of them finding Danny first its Talia.

Do I want Talia discovering her thought to be dead son to be alive? Yes. Do I want her to find him while investigating Amity Park when the League gets reports of 'Lazarus creatures/water'? Yes.

DO I WANT HER TO KNOCK ON THE FENTON'S DOOR, fully ready to pretend/honey talk her way into the house to uncover what the Fenton's know, ONLY TO MEET A LITTLE ELLIE?!

YES.

Ellie whose eyes and hair look like a copy of her Beloved but she can see bits and pieces of herself as well. Talia knows the child in front of her was not fully her's though but everything makes sense when she hears a voice, a voice she hasn't heard in ages but as a mother just knows, speak out.

"Ellie! I thought I said do not answer the door my Sterling."

"But Daddy, yous was busy fighting the hotdoggys!"

Talia's eyes widen when she finally catches sight of familiar black hair and blue eyes.

and she could only lightly whisper a old nickname she hasn't dared uttered in ages, a name she secretly gave her son due to his love of the stars "Astrophel..."

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still deep in the episode 7 brainrot. because OH BOY AM I

(also one more extremely, obnoxiously self-referential thing, I'm -- I'm so sorry)

[niccolites]

is possessed by an evil spirit for a moment and i can only think abt brother's best friend soap (heavily inspired by @ceilidho's ask here)

Idk man something about soap having always been a little bit weird with u. he's been friends with ur brother for years, back to when you were teenagers. He's only a year older but you felt the gulf of that gap, exaggerated when he shot up, puberty like a tool he used just to tower over u and make u uncomfortable

Growing up with him as a perpetual shadow, always a little bit too close, always a little bit too intense. Your parents shrug it off when u complain about it, telling u that he just likes u and u could be nicer to him about it, poor guy. Ur brother calls u stuck up when u snub soap, hissing at u to stop embarrassing him when ur rude when johnny tries to give u his seat on the couch where they're playing on their console

only you know that he's only offering u a seat so that he can press in close, a hulking mass in the corner of your eye as hot breath hits the side of ur face while he tries to look down ur shirt. constantly trying to dodge his grabby hands that grip ur exposed thighs or smooth over ur hips - pupils blown out when his hands swallow up the expanse of your skin

u snap at one point and tell him that he disgusts u, that ur not into him at all. he goes red in the face, growling that you've been leading him on, that ur playing games with his head (he is assuming u wearing a blue bra after he yanked ur turtleneck up was to match his eyes, even tho he shouldn't have seen it in the first place)

u end up with ur panties around ur knees as he forces u to stroke his cock, panting into ur throat as u 'make apologies' to him. he forgives u btw, he knows that u have to act this way, that ur brother would kill him if he knew. makes it seem like ur partners in crime, in this together even with his hand manacled around ur wrist to stroke him off

it gets worse after he enlists, and u don't see him for weeks or months. he gets pent up, barely putting a show on for everyone before he's dragging u off slick mouth on urs until there's spittle dribbling down ur chin, whining for u to please let him see his pretty girl (he's talking abt ur pussy), already 2 knuckles deep so ur wondering why he's even asking in the first place

and now he's a hero to everyone else. stuck in the bind of him being the in-love teenager to the kind-hearted man that is risking his life for everyone, do you have to be so cruel to him?

u wonder why, face pressed into the pillows of ur childhood bedroom as he hikes ur ass into the air to rut into u hard and fast

u do what u always do, hissing and spitting at him until he finally gets his way and ur back bows as he barely pauses through ur orgasm as he chases his own. he knows that u have to put the show on, lovey, but he's waiting in the backwing for u. partners in crime right?