#but it can feel kind of distant
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That foredeck life
#i reblog a certain amount of competitive sailing content#the ocean race#etc#and sailboat racing as spectator sport is fun and interesting#but it can feel kind of distant#and if you haven't actually done it#it can look#i dunno#kind of ...#intellectual?#theoretical?#i'm sure there's a word i'm not coming up with#anyway#i love this video#b/c this is exactly what it's like to actually do it#it's not intellectual#or theoretical#you're _in_ it#and it's very real
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I can teach you how to be just like me
crying all night, sleeping till three
#did I mention that she’s really sad when she isnt trying to forget the unbearable boredom of being immortal#I heard this song to an animatic and I thought it really suited her so I added it to her playlist lol#I normally draw her in fun bright colors but a lot of the sadder parts of her story get pushed to the side#even if none of my oc stories are really fleshed out I know she has an insatiable nature. her star motif is loosely tied to this I think?#ungrounded and instead of ambitious she can just never find contentness with what she likes or what shes doing#she can definitely be happy though!!! but it always feels fleeting that shes scared the rest of her life is gonna be spent chasing highs#which is way less exciting when u think abt how long you’re gonna be around before everything loses its excitement#what tuck everlasting does to a mf#I think this also kinda bleeds into her relationships and tries to keep her distance so she doesnt get tired of someone she actually likes#it can be confusing since she can be really cuddly utterly in love one second and then kind of distant the next. but she still loves you#her brother I think is on the other end of the spectrum where he tries to live in the moment to avoid thinking abt the future#the avoidance siblings#my oc#oc#Augusta#doodles#my art#myart
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Kingdom Hearts 3 - Olympus
#kingdom hearts 3#kh3#olympus#scenery#my gif#you could tell they wanted to make a good first impression with this world because they went all out#just think about how it used to be nothing but the exterior of the coliseum and the lobby#you can properly explore thebes now even if it is in shambles after the attack#and it's a surprisingly big town#then there's mount olympus and you actually get to climb all the way to the top#the base is so lush with all kinds of flowers and distant waterfalls it's gorgeous#until eventually you reach the rocky and cavernous mountain top during a severe thunderstorm#it feels very bleak and gloomy until you're suddenly greeted by the golden gates leading to the realm of the gods#and wow it's just stunning#really really beautiful world
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ALEX TURNER, RIO DE JANEIRO, BR. by Zackery Michael
#i feel like this photo is so wildly underrated#probably one of my all time favourite shots of alex#it’s so moody and brooding and evocative#you can almost taste the drizzle in the air#hear the distant buzz of the traffic#and the way you can *almost* see alex’s eyes and where he’s looking at but not quite???#idk it just feels so poetic. so fitting with the kind of way he sees and portrays the world through his lyrics#it feels like something so profoundly *him* has been captured in this photo#and it feels like it fits the whole atmosphere of the car so perfectly too#aghhhh. i'm just obsessed#❤️❤️❤️#alex turner#zackery michael#alex photos#the car era#arctic monkeys#lulu posts
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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wait idk anything about the tevis’— why would tommy tevis call dick his son? would you be willing to give a quick rundown
After Dick failed to get himself incarcerated, he became an enforcer for a mob boss named Tommy Tevis. Tommy took Dick in and made him part of his family. Tommy considered him an honorary son and thought very highly of him.
Nightwing (Vol. 2) #107
He even told Dick that everything he had (his home, his reputation, his family, etc.) was Dick's as well. Lynette, Tommy's wife, told Dick that Tommy would let Dick do anything. The whole family loved Dick, including Tommy's 15 year old daughter, Sophia. Sophia actually had a crush on Dick, but Dick acted like an older brother to her, helping her with her homework and such.
While Dick was away from the family for a few days, the cops busted into the Tevis's home. Lynette got killed in the gunfire, Tommy got taken to jail, and Sophia got taken in by the state.
Dick, while mentoring Rose, broke Sophia out of the state home. He got Sophia to help him with the mob. Then, when Chemo fell on Bludhaven, Dick saved Sophia and left her with Amy. When they reunited at the hospital, Dick asked Sophia to leave the mob behind and join a boarding school.
So, yeah, that's Dick's relationship with the Tevis family.
#no but i love when tommy tells dick that bruce must be proud of him--and dick gets this shameful look on his face and stays quiet#and then tommy playfully pinches dick's cheek and tells him not to worry bc he thinks dick is great/he thinks highly of dick#i mean say what you want about tommy being in the mob and all--but he does seem to be tuned in to dick's emotions#and when the other mobster was kinda grilling dick about being bruce's heir--tommy was frowning real hard on dick's behalf#and he later checked in with dick and was like hey that was kind of shitty and i don't want you feeling like your back's against the wall#like idk it just shows that tommy does care about dick--and he knows bruce is a sore spot for dick#dick--on the other hand--is a bit more emotionally distant from the family#he's just gone through some very traumatizing events and now he's doing some morally questionable things#so there's no way he can be truly authentic with the family when his whole lifestyle is now inauthentic to who he really is#and we see that when dick goes on a job that has a kid involved--and he didn't know there would be a kid there#and he gets very upset about a gun being involved and having a kid watch her dad get beat#so even though he might care about the tevis family--i don't think he could ever feel Truly part of the family#honestly wish a writer would bring back sophia though. would be nice to see dick still in contact with her#Dick Grayson#Tommy Tevis#anon
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Now that they can, would they want to spend a lot of time together? (Patreon)
#Doodles#Adventure Time#Fionna and Cake#Simon Petrikov#Marceline#Hhhh I feel so bad for both of them 💔#Obviously Simon misses her since she's like the one tether he still has to ''his'' time - they were both born before all the Everything#And I'm sure Marceline misses Simon too but like - even this Simon isn't ''her'' Simon. They met when he was already affected by the Crown#They clearly love each other when they see each other when Simon is as much himself as he can be!#But I can't help but wonder if it would be painful to spend time with this sad lonely magicless man - and how guilty that would make Simon#He wants to still be a part of her life! But how much of himself does he even have to offer now?#And the guilt would go round and round - she sees it in him and he sees that in her and they just both feel bad!#I really can't blame him for being a little emotionally closed and her being distant - they're not who they were#With all that said I still really love their dynamic <3 They're /not/ who they used to be but they've still got such an interesting relation#I think in the moments that they do have together where they're both trying to be good for each other Marcy would really push her humour ♪#She's got 1000 years of silliness to get out of her system to her bestie! I'm sure she's got the material hehe#Even if he still sees her as a little girl - I mean that just adds to the joke if she says something a bit blue lol#I don't think he'd actually keep the sharp teeth - it's more of a visual metaphor of how Marceline sees him in these kinds of moments#It's hard to leave it behind!
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vent//
#cw injury#delete later#typing this up before i head to the hospital lol#i got pretty injured yesterday in a way that affects my mobility quite a bit#i'm in a lot of pain and the timing of it is just :(((( i had planned to travel next week and#took time off for the first time i started working and now i don't know if i'll be able to 😭 i can barely cross the room w crutches#i think i don't really know how to seek comfort? when i got injured in the first place these people (strangers) like kept me company for#a bit but they mostly talked among themselves and it was really kind of them 😭 but i felt so distant. and even in the moment i felt like i#was failing them for not being able to engage in the conversation properly#i don't think i really know how to ask for help or how to ask for comfort#i don't know how to bring it up with my friends without like joking about it because 😭 they are my friends and they have their own lives#idk. i feel like i'm so detached from everything right now#i want someone to give me a hug and tell me that i've been doing well 😭 and i#want someone to do mundane things with me to take my mind off the pain#but how do you ask for that :')#i don't know so i am airing it anonymously on my kink blog
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the pjotv sally jackson slander is so weird to me because i feel like the change from the book counterpart actually makes a lot of sense considering the situation shes put in. in the books sally is this nurturing, generous, and self sacrificing mother. the ideal mother if u will. but thats not to say that she isnt like that in the show as well. she obviously cares about her kid, from his schooling, to his safety, to being preoccupied with his sense of identity before he realizes his place in the world. all in all, tv show sally seems to have the same priority as book sally: keep her son safe.
regardless, i agree that shes not the same as her book counterpart because it would be so stupid to claim otherwise. however the traits that were added onto tv sally provide a level of realism that the books didnt have. in her situation (a young poor single mother with a neurodivergent demigod kid that she isnt provided the resources to protect him other than sending him away), her stern somewhat “cold” attitude makes sense, her frustrations make sense, and i truly dont understand the disdain her actions have garnered.
#im sorry some of this discourse lowkey feels like misogyny…. like why do u expect a mom going thru an objectively hard time#to be everlastingly kind and generous and understanding. why isnt sally allowed to be a little distant when her emotions over take her#(which i would say is more indicative of her being a good mother bc shes distancing herself from the situation instead of crying in front o#a kid that is already convinced he is a problem)#and since so many of yall hate rick why dont u consider the fact that the way he wrote sally in the books was likely due to him expecting#these unattainable/unrealistic actions as something a good mother should do… but i digresss#good moms can be a little quote mean end quote lol what#pjo tv show#pjo tv crit#pjo#sally jackson
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#tbh I think I feel a depressive episode coming on#like there's a new Halsey album in five days and I can barely bring myself to feel excited about it#I just feel kind of sad and distant#I wish I knew why
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#ALL POWER DEMANDS PAIN AND SACRIFICE: musings.#okay but this made me laugh so hard just because of how much it reminds me of misao JSJSJ LOL because she has had like casual 'flings'-#with people and is an addictive personality as i've talked about here once which includes her being a love junkie + getting into-#relationships with people because she is in love with the IDEA of being in love though falling in love with someone can't just happen-#like magic as it involves a bunch of hormones and stuff but misao kind of somewhat hopes that this person of interest to her will somehow-#complete her life anyhow which... yeah can definitely raise a few problems as people with a love addiction often attract love-#avoidant people because both of these types of people generally have a fear of being abandoned and controlled.#but whenever it comes to love-avoidant individual's they're also emotionally unavailable so 😬#it's unfortunately kinddd of a recipe for an unhealthy relationship that could very well lead to the both of them being in a bad place-#once they break up as misao as a love addict is constantly seeking out new love in particular as a lot of excitement and good feelings-#come with this particular type of love in particular. so yeahhh - i know that this may be a bit of a weird picture to do a meta to but-#SHHH lol i just thought it could possibly relate to her more long-term relationships that she's had with people as misao-#tends to avoid feelings of vulnerability with people as you may all know and so this leads to both her + the other person not really-#knowing what they are BC they haven't really established that deeper connection even though they've been together for a while.#not to say that i'm trying to blame misao for having problems with opening up or anything like that but she has a very disorganized-#attachment style i think and that leads to her often doing this continuous 'push and pull' thing in her romantic/sexual ships#where one moment she will want to be attached to the hip to them but the next she will be cold and distant from them.#so yeahhh. misao is honestly kind of like what i've said barton is before: a cake inside of a cake because i feel like she's got sides of-#herself that she doesn't even know about because she's been scared of being fully emotionally vulnerable with someone for a while now sadly#NO SLEEP OF THE INNOCENT. NOT FOR YOU: character study.
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thinking about superheroes unfortunately
#random thoughts#let me daydream about batman in peace#love the dynamic between spiderman and deadpool#it's that kind of dynamic i love where two people have power over each other in different ways#like spiderman is a well-loved public figure and deadpool's idol while deadpool is a dangerous mercenary with regeneration powers#physically deadpool probably outmatches spiderman through sheer dogged perseverance#while in the public eye spiderman is more well-liked AND deadpool is feverishly obsessed with him#i'm gonna keep forgetting the hyphen between spider and man btw fuck the world#loving the idea of a spiderman who KNOWS deadpool can do better and believes in him while deadpool gives him a space where HE can be himsel#like spiderman has so many masks he has to put on around other people#i think deadpool should be one of the few people he can truly let himself loose around#yknow before he can get to a point where he can reveal he's peter parker#also i think peter parker in his ideal state suffers from severe identity and self confidence issues#like he thinks spiderman is a seperate persona he puts on which is superior to himself in every way#(okay seperate thought: DID spiderman. the spider bite being so traumatic it led to him creating a split personality to cope.)#(or separate. whatever.)#also age difference. peter should be in his mid-twenties while deadpool should be in his thirties. need more power imbalance#also they're both sa survivors and their personalities could be interpreted as them handling it in vastly different ways#with deadpool being hypersexual and spiderman being flirtatious yet distant and peter parker being borderline celibate#though honestly i could leave spiderman being an sa survivor given it was a whole 'gay people are all predators' psa#also i think spiderman should have been held back in high school. due to struggles relating to being spiderman#so he graduated late and now he's going to community college#peter parker has the luxury of going incognito. wade wilson will always be stared at no matter what he's wearing#deadpool who every superhero hates. spiderman who every superhero organization is trying to recruit desperately#also i think peter should admire wade. physically. built like a brick shithouse that one#also the third act low point CAN'T be about spiderman feeling guilty because deadpool kills people#okay? it's overdone. we've seen it. it's lame#i prefer when their opposing views on murder are treated in a more 'death penalty or no' way rather than assuming deadpool is always wrong#because spiderman's idyllic 'people can change' beliefs can be just as wrong as deadpool's 'assholes deserve to die' beliefs#and spiderman has definitely killed people are you kidding me. both accidentally and on purpose
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Billy Batson: I simply wish... to not be pitted against or resentfully put in the shadow of a hero who I originally didn't even share a continuity with.
DC Comics: Christ, you are extremely fucking selfish. Die.
Billy Batson: I am 14 years old.
#dc comics#shazam#I'm reading Superman vs. Shazam and thank god they didn't put the Elseworlds 'Distant fires' story in here#but also even though the majority of the crossovers are pretty cute and fun#you can kind of feel DC feeling this need to put Billy 'in his place'#and it's always weird because Clark is already in this position of seniority between the two of them#superman
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More old stuff— feat. Sans
#deltarune#undertale#sans the skeleton#fanart#kris deltarune#a little bit of papyrus if you squint#used to have a massive crush on sans but now it just feels like a distant memory#like im some kind of sans reader insert connoisseur— skskkskskskks#but no AU stuff. its nice. yes. but not my cup of tea#coming out of the damn closet as a delulu clown🤡#you can see who are the behaved sans enjoyers to the ones that arent based on how they enjoy seeing/enjoy drawing sans#i know its weird but trust me. if you've been in the maze long enough– you'll see the pattern too
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⠀
#cw negative#cw suicidality#cw vent#last night was the lowest i’ve ever been in a while . it truly is something else isn’t it#though i’ve been plagued by Those kind of thoughts for a while now i know i don’t truly want to die#more like take a very long nap and be woken up when it’s all over and i don’t have to constantly feel this way anymore#despite everything i am still hopeful for the distant future . i know i will probably cry over uni assignments and maybe fret over-#-workplace drama . but then i will have friends to meet for coffee and money to buy the silly things i want#so i have to look forward to that or else#carrying a level of hurt with me that makes it feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid#constantly waking up and wondering what i did to deserve it. feeling embarrassed‚ too#i want to wipe away those memories . and stop hurting myself nightly#genuinely when i close my eyes all i can think about is how desperate i felt and how lonely i was and then i want to claw myself apart#[ why did no one help me? ] those kind of thoughts ... i have made positive memories but i’m finding more difficulty recalling them#💭
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I know multiple of these are likely important to people, but I'm asking in terms of like - which of these do you tend to focus on the MOST, enjoy the most, that is most essential for you to actually care about the media, etc.?
(For example: someone finding "Relatability" most important would likely not enjoy a show much if they have trouble empathizing with the characters/relating to it, even if it were good otherwise. Or, someone might be able to overlook bad acting and ugly costumes, as long as the Character Dynamics are fun to them, because they value that more than Aesthetics- while for others, bad costumes would be a dealbreaker.)
Also feel free to reblog and explain your answer or more information in the tags- I've always been curious about people's relationships to media, how they conceptualize it/what they get out of it, how some people value some parts more than others, how that informs their overall taste and genres they may be more inclined towards, etc. :0c
#I was having a conversation with a friend about our favorite type of media and they said the reason they DON'T like historical or fantasy#media or etc. is because they can't imagine themselves being in those situations like it's too detached from anything that they can relate#to personally. they put themselves in the shoes of the characters and apparently like feel emotions while watching stuff and actually#get into the way the characters are feeling so they kind of judge how 'good' or 'bad' a show's writing/setting/etc. are by how it makes#them feel and if they think the characters reacted realistically based on what they were feeling in the moment/what in their head they#would be feeling if they were in the postion of the character. SO apparently the distance of it being in an unrelatable setting or too#detached from our reality makes it harder for them to relate to and less able to really engage with it on that level. WHEREAS I watch#things exclusively in a very like.. detached way?? I'm INTERESTED.. it's like im intellectually analyzing everyhting that's happening and#can be intrigued by events but it's not in an emotional way? More of like a distant 'intellectual curiosity'. Maybe the premise or the#aesthetics or something about it has piqued an interest for me to observe it. to see what it's like or how it plays out. how the idea#is executed or etc. But like.. I cannot remember EVER really relating to any character or situation or projecting onto a character#or having those sorts of feelings or investment in it. That is just not a central part of why/how I watch things or what I care about#BUT after this I was thinking maybe this is my disconnect? I do not seem to conceptualize media the way some other people do and I often#walk away with an entirely different take on things. etc. So I wonder if maybe it's part of how everyone values different things probably?#maybe I literally just watch stuff and percieve it from a different frame of mind that others. More of a like detached curiosity#vaguely bemused analysis mode. Instead of a 'I am deeply emotionally invested in this and am feeling for all the characters' mode#And also I bet people who care more about plot/story are also the people who mind spoilers. Whereas for me I literally seek out spoilers#intentionally because that element of 'suprise ooh what will happen next!' is not central at all to my enjoyment. I could know literally#everything that will happen and still can find it interesting to observe - since for me#that's not the point. I'd rather know the ending so I can determine whether I want to invest the time in it in the first place. etc.#ANYWAY!! If I had to choose - I would say I'm usually heavily focused on world details and aesthetics. With only a slight preference#towards characters individually being interesting. Group dynamics can sometimes be okay but I get tired of everything being about relations#hips and romance - especially when sometimes it seems to be like. people who could not stand on their own as a character/are fundamentally#boring otherwise lol. I would watch a series of just one guy locked in a closet talking to himself as long as he was interesting and saying#things that were amusing or notable for some reason lol. I actually tend to dislike plot because most 'plot heavy' things like action focus#ed shows ALWAYS feel to me like they're moving so fast just to get from one thing to another that I'm not getting enough details. Part of#why I tend to not like movies. the time limit makes them too quick. I need a 95 hour expostion dump of the history of the entire world#and a series of 17 episodes straight where a guy is trapped in a room & the audience is just psychoanalyzing him. hghj.. Maybe I find all#characters annoying/unrelatable bc people w my personality type make bad characters/are not often represented (or are done BADLY). so then#I'm just picking 'who is the LEAST insufferable? who could i study like a lab rat?' whilst my main focus is the worldbuilding&costumes lol
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