#but instead! the heavy heart drops... and fast it sinks!

[child-of-hurin]

A heavy heart, Belovèd, have I borne From year to year until I saw thy face, And sorrow after sorrow took the place Of all those natural joys as lightly worn As the stringed pearls, each lifted in its turn By a beating heart at dance-time. Hopes apace Were changed to long despairs, till God’s own grace Could scarcely lift above the world forlorn My heavy heart. Then thou didst bid me bring And let it drop adown thy calmly great Deep being! Fast it sinketh, as a thing Which its own nature doth precipitate, Which thine doth close above it, mediating Betwixt the stars and the unaccomplished fate.

Sonnet 25 Elizabeth Browning, Sonnets from the Portuguese (1850)

[aurorawritestoescape]

JOEL’S VISIT | Bad Blood Extra | 3,8k

Summary: Joel pays you a visit and makes your night unforgettable.

Tw: +18, mdni, smut, step-cest, big age gap (reader is 22, Joel is in his late 40s), step uncle!Joel is a warning in himself, stepdad Tommy makes an appearance (kinda), fingering, ass play, anal, sex toy, spit as lube, pussy slapping, cum eating, creampie, degradation kink, praise kink, alcohol consumption, swearing.

A/n: written as a naughty bday present for my love @milla-frenchy 🥳 happy birthday, baby!😘🩷 ILY! Hope you’ll enjoy my little gift❤️ and Joel’s huge gift🍆🍑😏

Pics are only for the mood. Reader has no specific physical description. Reader wears a skirt. Dividers by @strangergraphics-archive

Series Masterlist || MASTERLIST || Milla’s MASTERLIST

You step into your favorite bar in your college town and search for him. You notice the familiar broad shoulders far away from the crowd and saunter there, on the way turning heads of the other patrons but you don’t care about them. As if by a magnet you’re being pulled to the man, who’s sipping whiskey in a dark corner booth. Joel Miller.

You hate to admit it but you really missed the fucker. Missed his rough hands, his dirty words, his assholish attitude. No one else can make your blood boil like that but the hate you often feel towards him morphs into passion so fast that you wonder if your relationship is meant to be. As toxic as they are, you've never felt such a strong pull towards anyone. Except your stepdad Tommy of course.

Right now Joel’s in the dog house. You’re still fuming over his intention to fuck someone with the hard on YOU gave him. So you don’t sit next to him and instead settle in front of the man at the booth.

Joel looks up from his drink and a smirk tugs at his lips, shining with drops of whiskey.

“Hey, uncle Joel,” you greet him with a reserved smile. He’s wearing a denim vest with a white tank top underneath and his huge arms make your heart skip a beat. Why does he always look so delicious?

“Hello, angel.”

His eyes slide down to your lips and then cleavage, with your tits almost spilling out of your top by design. He adjusts himself before asking,

“Doncha wanna give your favourite uncle a kiss?”

“Not really,” you reply as your eyes are boring into him.

He huffs a laugh and rubs his scruffy cheek.

“Being a cold bitch doesn’t suit you, baby. I prefer you needy and with my cock between your pretty lips.”

You scoff, rolling your eyes, but your mouth waters at his words.

“It’s a health issue, Joel. I don’t wanna catch anything after you fucked every hole in Austin.”

Joel’s brows rise up and he leans forward, planting his elbows on the table. Your teeth sink into your lower lip as you ogle his arms and shoulders.

“Oh, little slut’s jealous.”

You cross your arms making your breasts almost jump out of your top and lie,

“No, I‘m not.”

He narrows his eyes at you and takes a sip of his whiskey before talking again.

“Here’s a thing, angel. You can keep Tommy’s balls in a cute box under your bed. I don’t care. But ya definitely not getting mine.”

You scoff and he leans back against the seat.

“So let’s make it clear— I fuck whoever I want whenever I want.”

You clench your jaws as anger and jealousy squeeze your throat.

For some time you two sit in silence, the air between you electrified and heavy.

Finally Joel gets up with a grunt and you look up at him scared that he might leave, abandon you, but to your relief he comes up to your seat and plops down next to you. He turns to you slightly and puts his huge arm on the backrest behind you. He’s so close that it feels like a hug. His scent immediately envelops you and you gush as if on command.

“Look at me,” Joel gruffs but you keep staring ahead of yourself.

“Look. At. Me.”

The steel in his rumbling voice makes you throb and you turn your face to him, hiding your true emotions, your expression angry and cold.

“I’ve had a shitty day, angel. Don’t make it worse.”

He sounds serious and you furrow your brows with worry.

“What happened?”

Joel grabs his drink and finishes it. He wipes his lips with the back of his hand and talks to the empty glass.

”Paid Jess a visit today. Tommy left some stuff at your… her house.”

“Why didn’t he go himself?” you ask, feeling a pang of sadness that Tommy didn’t tell you anything.

Joel laughs.

“I don’t think he wants to meet your dear mother. He fucked her daughter on their marital bed. She ain’t exactly waiting for him there with open arms.”

“And you? I’m sure she wasn’t happy to see you either.”

“I don’t give a fuck. The bitch can curse me out all she wants. Tommy’s just too good of a guy. Feels bad.”

“Whatever,” you grumble.

Your gaze drops and you sit quietly, deep in your thoughts. Does Tommy feel bad about what happened? If so does he regret your relationship? Does he regret you?

“Hey,” Joel calls and you immediately look up at him, noticing a trace of softness in his voice. “Tommy asked me to give you something.”

“What?”

Joel turns to you more, his thigh presses against yours, and he brings his hand to your jaw. He pinches your chin and slowly leans down.

You slightly open your mouth, welcoming him, and he kisses you. In a second he’s licking into your mouth with passion, claiming you in front of everyone, and you melt, tasting whiskey and cigarettes on his hot tongue. He grabs the back of your head and devours your mouth, swallowing your needy whimpers as his other hand settles on your bare thigh, close to your naked pussy under the short skirt. He squeezes your leg and, feeling how much he wants you, you gush more. Your soft moans are drowned in a sea of chatter and music at the bar. It takes just a few seconds of this, of him, to make your pussy uncomfortably wet. Your core is crying for more and you open your legs wider, signaling him to touch you.

Joel’s plush lips part from yours as he mumbles,

“Here’s my needy slut.”

You reply with a flirty smile and press your body closer to his.

“Take me to a motel. Want you to fuck me like one of your cheap hookers.”

You drag your nose up his neck and Joel groans, roughly kneading your thigh.

“My sweet niece needs to get railed, uh? Dontcha have some fuck boy on standby at your dorm?

“I don’t cheat on daddy,” you whisper against his neck.

“Oh?”

”It’s ok if it’s you. It’s different.”

Joel huffs and then his expression gets serious.

”I can’t do motel today, baby. Need to get going.”

“Already?” you whine, pouting your lips.

“Yeah. Have work tomorrow. And if I get you all to myself in a room I won’t be able to stop fucking ya for at least a week.”

You smile and playfully bite the skin of his neck, before purring, “Sounds good.”

Your pussy is tingling for him and you desperately need to alleviate the ache.

“Please, Joel,” you sit straight and plead, batting your lashes at him. “I miss your big cock so much.”

Joel's wolfish grin makes your clit throb with the beat of your heart. Your tactics seem to work because he adjusts his big bulge and groans,

“My truck. Now.”

You can’t get up fast enough and then hurry to the exit, feeling Joel’s eyes on your swaying ass.

The parking lot is dark, illuminated only by one street light, and almost empty except for a few cars. Joel motions to his truck and you shiver when you walk there but not because of the cold. The culprit is an anticipation of his hands on your body, his cock deep inside you.

Before getting in you stop with your back to your step uncle.

”Wanna show you something.”

You bend over slightly and then lift your skirt. He sees your bare ass and you hear a whistle.

“Juicy.” He grabs your asscheeks but you swat his hands away.

“No, Joel. Wait.“

You push your ass out and spread your cheeks so he could see a pink jeweled butt plug, shaped like a heart.

“Fuck, angel, this for me? Been training your ass to take my big dick?

“Yeah. I thought you might miss it.”

You sigh when he presses his whole frame to yours. His big hands start kneading your naked cheeks and he licks the side of your neck and sucks a hickey into your delicate skin.

“Tommy asked me to leave this as a message for everyone.”

“What’s the message?” You breathe out, grinding your butt against Joel’s bulge.

“This pussy‘s taken. You’re ours.”

You moan, reveling in the possessiveness of the brothers and the sensation of Joel’s heavy body, pressing you against the truck, and you’re slowly but surely drenching your inner thighs. Soon the need overtakes any pride you have left.

“Fuck me, Joel. Fuck my ass. Please.”

“Sure, angel,” he growls, taking a step back, and pulls you off the truck. ”Inside. On your back.”

You do as you’re told, drunk with desire and excitement, and lie down on the faux leather seat at the back of the car. Joel settles between your thighs and throws your left ankle on his shoulder, opening you up for him.

“You often fuck here?” you ask, noticing how fast he found a comfortable position.

He replies with a smirk, “No, only on special occasions.”

You shoot him a playful wink.

“Aww. I’m flattered.”

“Ya should be. I’ll probably spend ages cleaning everything off your slick, little slut.”

“Fuck you,” you giggle and spread your thighs wider, as he grabs your hips and lifts them a little.

The hem of your skirt slides to your waist and Joel leers at your exposed pussy. In the almost dark car his eyes are glinting like those of a predator in a night forest. Your breath hitches as you marvel at his handsome features, accentuated by the dim yellow glow from the outside.

Joel seems to be mesmerized by you too.

“Here she is. Wet little pussy.”

He covers your cunt with his big hand and you shiver when his warm palm squeezes your cold folds.

A gasp crawls up your throat as Joel begins playing with your slippery cunt, drawing soft moans from you—he slides his fingers over your lips, massages your mound, lightly grazes your eager clit and when he lowers his hand and brushes the pink heart of your butt plug, you buck your hips, calling for him to take you.

His light ministrations feel so good you might cry but they are not enough to satiate your thirst so you yank the neckline of your top down and start kneading your naked breasts.

“Fuck, angel, never met anyone this horny and cock hungry.”

You don’t reply, fully lost in the sensations, but Joel demands your attention by flicking your clit and you cry out as a jolt of pain mixed with pleasure shoots through your body.

“Joelllll,” you whine but then a hazy smile blooms on your face and your step uncle notices it.

“How could I forget that my little niece likes a lil bit of pain with her pleasure? Dirty fucking girl.”

You smirk and Joel continues,

“I see you clenching your holes, baby. That pretty plug of yours nearly jumped out of your asshole. Let’s make it dance.”

Suddenly he slaps your pussy with an open palm and you whine,

“Fuck, Joel.” Your body jerks and all your muscles contract. His hot palm lands on your blooming cunt again and again, the strokes light but precise and sharp. Your soft moans fill the truck, sometimes interrupted by Joel’s encouragement.

“Doing good, angel— ya know ya deserve it—look at ya asshole sucking in the plug— your pussy’s winking at me—can ya come like that, baby?”

Through the lustful fog in your head, you barely register what he wants from you but when you do, your fingers start twitching your nipples, pushing yourself closer to the edge.

Slap—slap—slap, Joel spanks your slicked puffy folds and when his wet hand hits your clit just right, you cry out. Your head dips into the seat, your back arches as you come undone from Joel’s rough caress and he praises,

“Yeah, like that, angel. Good fucking slut.”

It takes you some time to stop trembling and when your limbs and body relax, you find Joel’s obsidian eyes drinking in every sign of your ecstasy.

“That was…Wow. Never came from spanking before.”

“‘s weird considering what a bratty bitch you can be. I’d think every second lover wants to slap your cunt.”

You smirk and flutter your eyes shut, still melting after experiencing such an incredible pleasure.

But they immediately snap open when you feel your butt plug move. You see Joel’s eyes glued to your puckered hole, held open by the jeweled toy.

“Joel?” Your voice is strained by the overwhelming sensation of the plug shifting its position inside you and you lift yourself on your elbows to see what he’s doing.

“I really missed your tight hole, angel. Very. Much.”

Joel empathizes each word by moving the plug in and out of your asshole. It glides smoothly, covered with lube and now your slick. You bite your lip, and whimper at the sight and feeling of your tight hole, stretching around the shiny head of the plug and then clamping around its base.

“Damn,” Joel mumbles to himself, as his fingers leave the plug and he begins unbuckling his belt. “Your asshole‘s drenched by your needy pussy. Might do without lube.”

“Yeah, Joel, fuck me raw. ‘s ok if it burns a little.”

“Shit, angel. Naughty slut. Look what ya doing to me.”

Joel unzips his jeans and tugs them down and your eyes are graced with the sight of his huge hard cock. The tip looks like a fat shiny lollipop and you almost drool seeing it bob over your naked cunt.

“Let’s replace the toy with something better, baby”.

Joel’s hand confidently wraps around the base of his stiff manhood while the other pulls on the plug. Your asshole clenches around it tightly, not letting it go, but Joel slowly slides it out and your ring closes.

Your chest is heaving with a mixture of excitement and nerves as Joel slides his cock between your soaked folds, wetting it, and then nudges your asshole with his leaking tip. He pushes in and you take a deep breath to relax but your hole is too tight.

“C’mon, little slut, relax for me.”

”Yeah,” you nod obediently and lie back down, looking up and trying to relax your muscles.

”‘s like that, open up for me, angel. You’ve taken me before.”

“Yeah, but … when I took your huge dick Tommy was there. He knows how to make me relax.”

You find Joel’s obsidian eyes, and then look down at his lips. The man scoffs.

“I ain’t gonna smooch ya forehead, baby. And ‘good girl’ for sure ain’t about you, little slut. So let’s try something else.”

Suddenly you feel Joel’s cock bump into your hardened clit. You whimper, hazy eyes locked with Joel’s, and he drops his head and starts drawing circles over your sensitive bud with his slippery tip.

“Ya like when I do this?”

”Yeah.”

“Good, breathe, baby. Unclench for me. Uncle wants to ruin your tight ass.”

He’s swirling your clit for some time and when the sensation of him, massaging your pussy, brings you close to the second climax, he slides his cock down to your crack and pushes into your tight ring.

With a gasp you feel your asshole give in as he inserts his mushroom head inside your ass, slowly but assertively. Your nails dig into the faux leather of the seat while Joel groans and closes his eyes and you watch his handsome weathered face twist in pleasure.

“Fuckkk,“ he growls and your heart sings, seeing him enjoy your body that much. Not minding the dull pain and the feeling of fullness, you whisper,

“Deeper, Joel. Want your whole cock in my ass.”

He opens his eyes and smirks at you,

“‘Course, angel. Gonna use you so good, you won’t be able to sit for a week.”

His promise should probably make you nervous but lust has completely taken over your body and mind so you bend your legs and press them to your sides, submitting your body to him like an offering.

Joel’s huge hands grab your asscheeks, he spreads them and holds you open before rolling his hips, pushing his cock deeper into you.

He’s grunting and groaning while you’re breathing in and out steadily, opening up for him more and more. Letting him claim the deepest part of you.

Soon Joel bottoms out with a satisfied sigh and stops his movement.

“Look at that, angel. My dick’s fully inside ya ass.” His eyes are focused on the place where he’s sheathed inside you. ”Fuck, I’m so happy Tommy married your mother. It brought me here.”

He chuckles and drops his head back in pleasure and you lift on your elbows to see the way you are joined and watch your asshole flex around the base of his cock.

“Yeah, glad we met, Joel. Now can you please move?” You whine, desperately needing more. Joel doesn’t make you wait- he grabs your hips tighter and slowly pulls his cock out almost to the tip and then slams it back inside as you moan and grab onto the seat.

He starts off slow, rhythmically moving his stiffness inside your ass, then pulls out his glistening shaft half way out of you, spits on it, and plunges back in your canal. You moan as the wetness adds to the pleasure, coursing through your body, and soon your sweet sounds and Joel’s groans fill the inside of the truck.

You whine your step uncle’s name and your hand slithers down to your cunt.

“What is it, little slut? Aw, your needy pussy’s lonely,huh?”Joel mocks, through gritted teeth, and you gloat inside thinking that he must have a real hard time trying not to burst inside you.

But you decide to be a good girl for him so you bite your lip, pull your eyebrows together and nod.

“You’re cute, let’s fill your sloppy hole too then.”

Joel leans down and brings his index and middle fingers to your mouth.

“Make ‘em all nice and wet, angel.”

You smile and take his thick digits between your lips and lick them, glide your tongue over his skin, coating it in your saliva.

When Joel decides it’s enough, he pulls them out and straightens, slowing down his thrusts.

With his cock deep in your ass, he pushes two of his fingers into your crying pussy and you both watch both of your holes being spread wide around Joel.

“Fuck, I’m so full. Your fingers are like another cock inside me.”

“Ya welcome,” he mumbles and starts fucking both of your entrances— your ass with his cock, your pussy with his hand.

If you were enjoying yourself before now you’re in heaven.

“Yes, Joel, don’t stop,” you moan and the man growls in response. His thick and long cock in your ass takes so much room that your pussy channel feels tighter, his fingers stimulate you so much better, that in no time your walls start contracting around his fingers. Squelching sounds of your weeping cunt makes Joel fuck into your holes faster and soon you unravel under his ministrations, crying out his name and arching your back off the seat. You’re trembling all over, cock dumb, pleasure drunk, biting your puffy lips and leaving scratches on the seat.

When you relax and melt under the man, he pulls his fingers out of your pussy, and slowly thrusting into your ass, lets you clean them up.

”Lick it off, angel, be a good girl.”

You lazily taste yourself and then he covers your body with his, pressing you into the seat, his hips flush with your asscheeks.

“Gonna come soon, baby. Gimme some sugar.”

With that he kisses you passionately and begins hammering into your ass, reaching the deepest spot inside you, feverishly chasing his climax.

Seizing this moment of unity with him, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and hold him tight, while your tongues are moving against each other. You’re gladly letting him take everything from you and soon his muscles tense under your touch and he makes a few hard thrusts and then moans into your mouth and begins spurting ropes of hot cum inside you. He’s filling you up to the brim, his throbbing cock moving in and out of your tight canal, pushing his cum deeper into your stretched ass.

You’re nuzzling his cheek, tasting his skin with your tongue, and the overwhelming feelings in your chest make you forget your complicated relationship with the man stuffing you so well and you purr his name into his ear, softly, gently, pouring so much into these four letters. Joel locks eyes with you, while his cock still twitches inside you from time to time.

His gaze is relaxed, soft and satisfied, rid of the usual sharpness, mockery, guard.

Your throat squeezes and your breath hitches when you realize that you’re staring at someone else, someone deep inside Joel you know and before he disappears, hides behind the wall, you kiss him gently, hug him close, and he gives you all of that back.

A few minutes later Joel’s tucking his cock back into his jeans, groaning about your slick and scratches all over the seat. The asshole is back.

“Maybe ya wanna lick off your mess, angel?”

“Fuck off,” you snap, fixing your clothes, and then get into the front of the truck and carefully sit down on the passenger seat. Your ass is sore and plugged up again with Joel’s cum inside. ”A warm farewell gift for ya,” he laughed.

“Going raw was a mistake,” you complain with a hiss and watch him get behind the wheel with a lit cigarette between his lips.

“Take me to the dorm,” you command and Joel glares at you without moving.

“Please, uncle Joel,” you bat your lashes with exaggeration and he starts the car.

You immediately take out your phone and call Tommy.

“Hey, baby.”

“Daddy! Guess who just fucked my ass!” You chirp with excitement into the speaker.

You hear Tommy chuckling, Joel curses and smiles at you.

“I need the details, baby.”

You give Joel a wink and start talking.

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

SERIES MASTERLIST I MASTERLIST | Milla’s MASTERLIST

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[wileys-russo]

filling the void (8) II a.putellas

part of the filling the void series filling the void (8) II a.putellas

"aye dios mio mami por favor just sit down!" you groaned tiredly, dragging your hands down your face with a grunt of frustration at the ridiculously hard headed stubborn woman in front of you.

"i have been sitting down all day. i sit down every day, all day. i can help!" eli argued, still stood in the kitchen despite you taking away every single utensil and ingredient she'd gotten her hands on in the last five minutes.

"you have been home for three days! you were told it would be at least a week before you can even think about returning to your normal routine, and that is after the doctor clears you mami." you warned, apparently taking her recovery much more seriously than she was.

"bah! he knows nothing. i feel strong, i am strong, see?" eli scoffed, moving to lift the pot of water you had boiling as your eyes widened and you rushed in.

"no! sit down!" you ordered as you pushed yourself into her way, slotting your body between her and the very heavy pot she did not need to be lifting for the sake of her wounded pride.

"por favor mami, just go sit down." you spoke softer this time, remembering your manners as her eyebrows raised at your initial tone toward her.

"bien. i can sit down...and peel the potatoes." for a woman recovering from a heart scare she was fast, the bag of potatoes and peeler already grabbed from the counter as she started toward the dining room table.

you shook your fist and silently yelled up at the roof behind her back. and had anyone else been present you were sure they would have pointed out that this was exactly where the rest of the putellas women got your stubbornness from.

"no. you can go sit down and...read your book!" you suggested, gesturing toward the sofa and holding the potatoes and peeler out of her reach, the shortest of your sisters but still taller than your mami it wasn't a difficult task.

"i have read. and watched tv. and slept. called the family. done the newspaper puzzles. i am losing my mind hija! do you want your mami to lose her mind?" the woman questioned, hands on hips and staring up at you as a hint of a smile pulled at your lips.

"no. but i also do not want to see her laying unconscious on the floor, or in a hospital bed on a life support machine again." your voice softened as did eli's hardened features at your words, a long sigh leaving her as she nodded.

"vale mija, but you will let me know if you need help?" eli questioned as you nodded, kissing her cheek and turning around to head back to the kitchen as finally she made her own way back toward the living room.

"i know how to cook mami, no hay por qué preocuparse." you assured with a wave of your hand, quickly dumping the rice into the now boiling water and moving to the sink to wash the potatoes. "do you?" eli questioned light heartedly as you rolled your eyes.

"sí. i just pretend not to so everyone else cooks for me!" you grinned as the woman wagged a finger at you. "míralo!" she warned as you blew her a kiss and heard the front door go.

"no! sit down. they both have keys, they can work it out." you pointed toward the shorter woman who was already up and on her feet, eli huffing but sitting down none the less as the door went again, and again, and again.

"joder!" you cursed quietly, dropping the potato in your hand and stomping out of the kitchen, not quietly enough though as eli yelled after you to watch your language and you sent an apologetic smile over your shoulder before opening the door.

whatever rude remark about impatience was sitting on the tip of your tongue died at the sight in front of you, a snort of amusement leaving your mouth instead.

"qué es eso?" you asked with raised eyebrows at the large plastic white chair in your sisters grip, not getting an answer as you were pushed out of the way and alexia staggered on in, arms full.

"a shower chair for mami." the blonde finally answered with a grunt as she placed it down, purposefully out of sight of the eagle eyed woman in the other room who she knew would make a fuss over it.

"the doctor said she might need one, and that she will tell us if she does." you looked at it with an air of uncertainty as your sister sighed. "lo sé. but do you really think she would tell us if she did?" alexia asked as you both shared a look and shook your heads, pushing it a little more out of sight, an argument to be had later on.

"hola pequeña." you tensed up in surprise as you tried to move back to the kitchen but alexia grabbed you in a sudden hug, not phased that you weren't returning the greeting at first.

"i remember when you used to like my hugs hermana, sometimes you would even ask for them." your sister sighed dramatically, only holding on tighter as you tried to wiggle free before hugging her back.

"i saw you two days ago ale." you rolled your eyes again, squeezing her back for a moment and making a face as she kissed your cheek when you pulled away. "te extrañé." the girl messed up your hair next as you pushed her off with a huff.

"necesitada." you quipped, ducking her hands which tried to grab at you no doubt to pull you into a suffocating bear hug of some sort and escaping to the kitchen.

none the less things had been better in the last week.

last sunday you went to brunch with alba and watched alexia's game together right after, sandwiched between an injured jana and your older sister, neither of whom stopped chattering the entire match.

mapi was finally cleared to be on the bench at the very least, which you were grateful for purely just so she wasn't there to add to all of the yapping the entire game.

you'd warned her right away that alexia knew about the tattoo, and the defender had been waiting anxiously for the phone call or barrage of texts or verbal tongue lashing she'd be getting for giving it to you behind your sisters back, but it never came.

in fact much to the girls shock the moment alexia saw her in person she was pulled into a tight hug, her best friend mumbling her gratitude that mapi had been there for you when she hadn't, and that alexia was doing better, would do better, to never let it happen again.

"no seas estúpido. you do not need to thank me ale, fresa may be el diablillo, but she is como familia, and so are you." mapi promised, squeezing the captains bicep who pulled her into another hug which the defender was more than happy to have.

"las hermanas son complicadas amiga. just ask ingrid! she will tell you that mistakes happen but you learn from them. things are far from perfect with her and her hermana, but we are getting there. sometimes we show love in the wrong way, but the love is still always there, and fresa knows that chica." mapi spoke softly, alexia swallowing a lump in her throat and nodding.

"y me aseguraré de que nunca olvide." alexia swore, and she would, she would do anything, go to the ends of the earth to make sure never ever again would you forget how much she and alba loved you.

"ingrids hermana, she is fresa's age no?" alexia sat down on the bench to lace up her boots as mapi nodded. "teenagers." was all the zaragozan replied with a tired sigh, making the blonde smile with amusement and hum her agreement.

you were alike alexia in the sense you enjoyed watching football, though like alba you never craved the urge to play like your eldest sister did.

but that wasn’t helped by the trauma of when you were nine you’d been hit in the face with a football so hard it sent your teeth through your bottom lip and wound up with four stitches in your mouth.

needless to say alexia had a breakdown over that accident, and it took weeks before she was able to sleep guilt free or at least without poking her head into your room every few hours to check on you, and a further week to stop apologizing and grovelling every five minutes much to your insistence she shut up.

you hadn’t really touched a football since.

still some of your fondest memories growing up were being stuffed into a car with your whole family and descending upon one of alexias matches to cheer her on, faces painted and flags waving and always some of the loudest and proudest spectators in attendance.

you knew a lot about football for someone who never played, helped by the fact that all alexia forever went on and on and on about when you watched other matches on tv was strategy and skill and tactics.

you'd known from a young age that god forbid the day came where your sister hung her boots up, she'd just be donning a clipboard and a whistle as a manager, and she'd continue her football legacy just in another way.

but all alba and jana seemed to want to talk about the entire game was anything but football.

irene finally took pity on you in the last twenty minutes and offered to swap seats, just granted you didn't mind entertaining mateo's chatter instead, which you didn't mind one single bit.

then after barcelona trumped benefica 5-0, alexia getting in two assists, you went to your tio's house for dinner that night. eli joined in for a while over facetime but you'd be lying if you said that didn't make you miss the fact she wasn't actually there even more.

but squished between both of your sisters at the over packed dinner table, fighting with your cousins for whose turn it was to speak and arguing over who was passing which dish to whom next, you were overcome with a profound sense of normalcy you'd been deprived of for too long now.

after that, things continued upward.

both of your sisters struggled to find the balance of not smothering you while still constantly needing to let you know they were there if you needed them, taking to heart eli's advice that you were growing up and the tighter they held on the more it would make you pull away.

monday you went to work and finally they left you be to sleep at your own home for the night by yourself, even if they both hung around for hours basically baby proofing everything for your mami's homecoming.

the doctor happy with the stability of her condition eli returned home on tuesday as planned, practically banishing both of your sisters back to their own homes when they hovered and fussed all over her for merely an hour before she lost it.

you were trying your best not to do the same, however with how determined the woman seemed to be to ignore every instruction she was given, the last few days skating on thin ice had been rocky and you were very close to pulling your hair out in frustration at her stubbornness.

your sisters would be lying if they said they weren't a little surprised when you reached out for help, asking if they'd come over for dinner on friday to try and give eli something to do other than complain about her lack of things she was allowed to do.

both had agreed within four minutes of you sending the message, and by the time you returned from your shower they'd already made a plan and all you had to do was send a single thumbs up in confirmation.

they were trying, you were trying, and slowly, the void you once felt gaping between the three of you, was closing.

back to present day you frowned in concentration, finger tracing along the next steps of the recipe as alexia greeted your mami, the murmur of their chatter background noise as to absolutely no ones surprise alexia took over the tv flicking to the barcelona mens match which was due to start in about twenty minutes.

"oye! i thought we said no football? her stress levels alexia!" you called out with a hardened look, your sister frowning and opening her mouth to protest but eli beat her to it.

"the doctor said no going to football, tv is fine! look hija, i will even sit down as i watch like you keep telling me to. feliz?" the womans tone dripped with sarcasm as she slowly sat back down and alexia snickered.

"anciana testaruda!" you muttered under your breath with a huff, shaking your head and glaring at your older sister who admittedly paled a little at the anger in your face.

"mami, she is only doing what your doctor said." alexia warned, lowering the volume of the tv as eli puffed air from her nose and waved away the concern. "she worries too much. estoy bien!" your mami rolled her eyes as alexia frowned.

"mami." "que?" "sabes que."

"did you know she has not worked all week? or studied? no she stays home to fuss over me and yell at me all day. haciéndome sentir como una vieja estúpida!" eli huffed, crossing her arms and scowling.

alexia jumped at the sound of you slamming the peeler down on the counter. you were tired, grumpy, patience worn thin and sick of trying to pretend you couldn't hear everything that was being said like you weren't just a few feet away.

"you are a stupid old woman! a stupid stubborn old woman who had a heart attack and wants to pretend she did not!" you snapped, storming off to your room and both alexia and your mami winced at the slam of your door after you.

alba watched on cluelessly, having just arrived to witness the back end of whatever just happened, raising her eyebrows at the two women in the living room who stared after you with concern.

"what did i miss?"

you felt like you could finally breathe the moment your back hit the mattress, inhaling and exhaling deeply, grabbing your pillow and holding it over your face, letting out an exhausted scream that you'd been holding in all week.

you regretted the words the moment they left your mouth but you were still too emotional and grumpy to go and apologize for them just yet. all you were doing was trying to look after her, the same way she had looked after all three of you for years, and it was just being thrown back in your face at every turn.

you were pulled out of your thoughts by a knock at the door, grumbling a quiet come in into your pillow, though when it wasn't heard alexia still decided to take her chances, popping her head in and refraining from laughing at the sight of you.

"fresita." selfishly you were a little relieved that it wasn't your mami just yet, pulling the pillow off your face and sighing, the bed dipping as your sister perched herself on the end of it.

"lo sé. i should not speak to mami like that." you admitted, staring up at the roof as alexia's eyebrows knit together in a small frown. "no. maybe not the right words nena, but she needed to hear it." her hand squeezed your ankle softly as you glanced toward her.

"i just-she does not listen, about anything! i ask her to sit down, she stands up. i ask her to call the doctor, she calls one of her amigas from work. i ask to test her blood pressure, she suddenly needs to use the bathroom. i give her her medication at breakfast, she tries to hide it under her plate. tan testarudo!" you spat, anger returning in a wave that washed over you head to toe, drowning in the frustration of a situation you felt helpless in, barely keeping your head above water.

"lo sé. mami might be the most stubborn woman in the world hermana, but she is also the luckiest that she has you to look after, and me, and alba." alexia poked you with a smile as you sighed but nodded.

"ven aquí." your sister spoke softly, opening her arms as you paused for a moment, but a second later you were sitting up and shuffling to lean into her embrace, exhaling tiredly as your head rested on her shoulder.

no matter what had happened, no matter if you were grown up or growing up, sometimes you just needed a hug from your sister, and this moment was one where you hadn't realised yet, but that alexia needed it just as much as you did.

"you are going to be a very good nurse one day hermana, one of the best." the older girl spoke truthfully, kissing the side of your head and you were for once grateful for the height difference between the pair of you, able to hide the blush which coated your cheeks at the compliment.

"mami is not the easiest patient though, no? good practice maybe." your sister chuckled, looking down at you sympathetically as you snorted in amusement.

"still better than you were." you quipped with a look that had alexia's cheeks flushing with embarrassment, thinking back months and months ago to when she tore her acl.

"ale. are you hungry? i can cook?" you asked quietly, toe poking the soft carpet beneath your feet apprehensively, having felt the need to walk on egg shells all morning around the stone faced brunette laid a few feet away from you.

"you do not know how to cook." your sister muttered, eyes never leaving the tv screen in front of her where a movie was playing, but you knew well enough she was doing anything but actually watching it.

the moment she'd returned home after her surgery every sports channel had been blocked, a task unfortunately assigned to you given your poor mami had no idea how to do it, but it was one of the first things alexias therapist had suggested.

she had good days and bad days, as was to be expected with a recovery from such a prolific injury, and everyone knew that despite the main impact being on her body, the worst backlash would come from her mind.

and today, today was a bad day.

both your mami and alba had events on for friends they couldn't get out of and that you assured they go to anyway, olga was away on a business trip for the weekend and everyone else was running scared from the fierce barcelona captain, not that you blamed them considering the absolutely downright awful personality alexia adopted on her bad days.

so you'd offered to spend the day with her, despite her insistence she didn't need babysitting and you assuring you just wanted to hang out with her, which was only flung back at you when your sister grumbled she didn't want to hang out with you.

you knew she didn't mean it, as she didn't with half the things that spewed from her mouth these days when her head was filled with thunder clouds, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

"i can cook. are you hungry?" you frowned, posing the question again as all alexia did was curtly shake her head, muttering under her breath that she didn't feel like getting food poisoning today.

biting back the urge to snap back at her you walked away toward the kitchen instead, knowing she was in fact hungry considering she ate like the athlete she was and her last meal was over three and a half hours ago.

you guessed your safest bet was a sandwich, and with your mami and olga both keeping the cupboards well stocked it didn't take long for you to find what you needed, making yourself one as well.

though most of alexias horrible mood swings were unpredictable, you knew the cause of todays being extra bitter. barcelona were playing, and she'd been banned from watching, any means she had of doing so taken away from her as much as she'd yelled and argued that she was an adult and she could do as she pleased.

but everyone knew, watching at the moment would only make things worse, even alexia herself did, not that she would be caught dead or alive admitting so.

you glanced up hearing an alarm, knowing exactly what that meant and not at all surprised when it was silenced and the grumpy brunette on the lounge didn't move a muscle, a quiet sigh leaving your lips knowing what that meant.

grabbing both plates you made your way back to the living room, careful not to trip over nala who had just awoken from a nap, darting beneath your feet before jumping up and settling herself in your sisters lap.

you didn't say a word as you offered her the sandwich, uneasy with what her reaction would even be but it was a silent one, alexia just taking the plate without a word as you joined her on the couch again.

"de nada." you mumbled sarcastically under your breath at her lack of a thank you, a venomous glare thrown your way as you apparently hadn't been as quiet as you thought, your sisters mouth at least too full of food to snap.

you had the decency to wait until she'd finished eating before addressing the alarm, interrupted at first by her doorbell going, greeting the delivery man at the door and leaving the package addressed to olga in their shared bedroom, alexia barely even looking up as you did so.

"hermana." you cleared your throat, stood awkwardly and once again digging your toe into the carpet as she ignored you. "alexia." you spoke again, this time moving in front of the tv and directly into her line of sight, not giving her much choice but to acknowledge you.

"the alarm." you hinted with a sympathetic smile, alexia only scoffing and rolling her eyes, grunting at you to move out of the way with a flick of her fingers.

"ale. you know they are important, you have to move." you sighed, ignored once again as your patience started to wean, grabbing the remote off the table and turning the tv off.

you expected her to start kicking off at that, but she only crossed her arms and scowled up at the roof like a child, nala growing restless at the lack of attention and scurrying off onto the balcony to flop down into the sun.

"alexia." you repeated firmer this time, crossing your own arms and meeting her glare head on, raising an eyebrow. "no." was all she replied shortly, closing her eyes as if to take a nap making yours roll again.

"get up. it is five minutes, and it is important. if you want to-" you started but you were interrupted before you could finish, your sister snapping that you of all people were the least qualified to tell her what to do.

"well look around alexia. i am the only one here, because you have pushed everyone else away. so get up!" the last layer of your patience for her attitude was worn too thin now, your tone wavering and your sister seething.

"i do not need a babysitter. especially not by you of all people fresa! así que vete y no vuelvas!" the brunette snarled, and you were certain if she had anything else beside her bar the cushion propping her leg up she'd have hauled it right at your head, nostrils flared and ears bright red with anger.

"no." you shook your head, and before she could blink you were snatching her crutches away from her in one hand, her phone in the other as she tried to grab it back but she simply swatted her hand uselessly through the air.

"devuélvelo." "no." "devuélvelo fresa, now!" "or what?" you challenged, taking a seat on the edge of her coffee table and raising an eyebrow, the smug smile on your face one your sister wished she could smack off any second now.

"if you want it hermana-" you stood again for a second, moving to place her phone down on the entertainment stand where her tv stood, returning to perch back on the coffee table. "-go get it." you finished in challenge.

"i can't." "you can." "no." "sí." "no."

"ya sabes i am so tired of everyone being too scared to tell you what to do ale. i do not care if you are el capitána de españa. i do not care if you are el capitána de barcelona. here you are mi hermana, and i care about you, everyone does!" you paused to take a breath before continuing.

"but you push and you snap and you push and you snap and everyone throws their hands up and lets you do what you want because you are stubborn with a mean face. what if it was me? sitting there? what would you do ale? huh?" you challenged with raised eyebrows.

"you are useless at football." was all she chimed in as you sighed. "sí, and you will be too if you do not get up and try to do recovery alexia. mi hermana did not teach me to be a quitter, because she is not a quitter, she does not sit on her culo all day feeling sorry for herself and moping like a child. so levántate!" you finally snapped, a tense silence falling between the two of you as you locked into a stare down neither of you was willing to break first.

"necesito ir al baño." "oh? well vamos, i am not stopping you." "fresa." "alexia." "fresa." "alexia."

"eres un grano en el culo!" your sister grunted but a small smile curled into your lips as finally she began to move, pulling herself with a wince into a seated position, smacking away your hands as you hurried to try and help.

eventually realizing she had no other choice she relented, allowing you to very very slowly get her up and to her feet, leaning her taller form into you as you huffed and pulled her body upward.

"i am going to let go. just go to the tv and then i will help you to the bathroom ale." you spoke much softer now as your sister nodded, steadying herself as you carefully removed the arm which was slung around her waist, still hovering right beside her as slowly she walked forward.

a few times you darted in to grab her as she would wobble and you worried she'd fall, her steps growing a little more sure the more of them she took and slowly but surely she grabbed onto the edge of the tv stand with a pained exhale.

"no. i can get there." your sister waved you off as you tried to help her again, watching in surprise as using the wall to brace herself she very slowly walked with tiny steps toward the bathroom, eventually needing to lean into you again as she ran out of wall.

"overachiever." you mumbled trying to lighten the mood a little, not missing the tiny smile which flickered onto her lips, gone as soon as it appeared as the older girl smacked the back of your head fondly.

you helped her sit down, always a painful task given the way her knee had to bend just a little for her to sit down, stood awkwardly by the door once she seemed settled.

"i am not going to fall in fresa! dios mío, váyase. idiota!"

"and i would yell at you again." you rolled your eyes as your sister chuckled, running a hand through your hair with a hum. "i am sure you would. only now i have two good knees to chase you with." she patted your own knee as you chuckled and sat back up.

"i am still faster." you grinned, alexia despising that she couldn't argue the fact, never having won an actual race against you from the moment you turned twelve and no longer needed her to let you win.

not that she ever had.

"mami." you spoke pulling her attention toward you as alexia gave you a moment, joining alba in the kitchen as the older womans face softened, opening her arms as you sank down into them.

"siento haberte gritado." you apologised quietly, an assure you had nothing to apologise for whispered into your hair as her hand rubbed your back and she apologised for being difficult, all of the earlier tension long gone.

"careful mami, you will send el bebé to sleep." you looked up through narrowed eyes at your older sister. "como un perrito." alba cooed patting your head as you smacked her hand away. "that is alexias fault!" you accused as your eldest sister looked up from her phone at the mention of her name.

"the spray bottle." alba snickered at the memory as you huffed and even eli chuckled. "and the treats." your mami chimed in as you looked up at her in betrayal.

"i was too young to know any better!" you defended yourself. "mami do you have any fruit loops? lets test her obidience!" alba teased as you grumbled something under your breath.

"i was not training her like a dog! you had the biting phase pequeña." alexia chimed in from the kitchen. "sí and mami would get called into preschool to take fres home because she bit someone." alba snickered as your face flushed red.

"vale vale. leave your hermana alone!" finally eli stood up for you, amused to see the three of you seemingly a little more back to how you'd been before growing apart.

subtly flipping alba off and getting up as she sat down, taking your place in eli's arms making you roll your eyes and her leg kick out at you lazily, eli only smiling at the interaction and running her hands through your sisters hair.

"you burned it." you groaned as alexia showed you the pan of blackened rice you'd forgotten all about, running your hands down your face with an annoyed sigh.

"can we just buy mami a rice cooker for christmas?"

~

"oye, i need to talk to you." you frowned as alexia nodded for you to step outside with her, your mami showering, without the chair she practically threw outside onto the driveway in a fit of anger, and alba asleep on the lounge apparently now staying the night as eli had tucked her in with a blanket.

"qué pasa?" you asked curiously, following your sister out to her car, her goodbyes already said as she needed to be at the stadium early tomorrow for the pre match press conference.

"you know ingrids hermana has been staying with her and mapi?" alexia started as you helped her load the rejected shower chair awkwardly back into her cupra, your mami threatening to set it on fire if she stepped out of the bathroom and it was still on the property.

"sí. por qué?" you weren't sure where this was going as finally you somehow managed to squeeze the chair in, alexia sighing in relief and closing the door, stretching out her back.

"well she is norweigan-" "well she isn't spanish."

"ow!" you whined as your sisters hand collected the back of your head with a warning glare. "no, but she needs to work on her spanish. ingrid is worried she will fail her final year since she is doing it here and not in norway, the language barrier is not helping her." alexia explained as you frowned again, still unsure where this is okay.

"vale..." "so. you did very well in school, you are smart,you got very good grades, you have finished the year she is still studying, you are patient, well sometimes patient-" "alexia i am tired, is there a point to this?"

"i want to ask you to help her study. help her work on her spanish, get more comfortable with her reading and writing. mapi says she has learned to speak it quite well, but she is failing her classes and there have been warning letters that if it does not improve she will need to repeat the year." you were stunned into silence for a moment, still processing as your sisters eyes tracked over your face awaiting a reaction.

"so you want me to teach a norwegian stranger, to read and write en español, in..." you paused to try and do the math of when you knew the current school year would be breaking off for their final exams. "eight weeks? no. no ale!" you shook your head firmly as your sister sighed.

"why do you not ask alba? she is the teacher!" "sí for los niños. solstråle is your age, only a few months older. if you had not graduated a year early she would be your classmate! and your english is much better than alba's." alexia pointed out as you groaned.

"i do not speak norweigan!" "you will not need to, she speaks english." "so we will both be speaking in a language not our own that we are not comfortable in. as i teach her a language also not her own? estás loco!" you spat with a huff and a shake of your head.

"alexia i have a full time job, and i study, i have no time." "sí and solstråle has school, you can meet her in the afternoon! one or two days a week nena, that is all i am asking. por favor if not for me, for mapi." alexia pleaded as you sighed and rubbed your eyes.

"are you asking? or telling?" "i already told mapi and ingrid you would." "alexia!" "i will buy you new shoes, a new bag, a laptop, an ipad, whatever you want." your sister bargained as you paused.

"two new pairs of shoes, and i get to take three things from your closet, and nothing is off limits." you countered, watching your sisters jaw harden as she ticked it over, knowing there was two jackets you'd been trying to steal from her for years.

"one pair of shoes, one of the nike jackets and a voucher for your the cafe you and alba like for brunch, ten coffees on me." "fifteen coffees." "fresa!" "que? i drink two a day alexia! that is a weeks worth." "bien. deal?" "deal."

you shook hands at that, grinning happily knowing exactly which jacket you were going to take making your sister groan, horribly possessive over her clothing despite the fact most of it she got for free and usually wore once.

"solstråle will be at the match on sunday, mapi will introduce you. you will sit with her and introduce yourself, organise when you will meet to study, starting next week." "dios mio, actually it just went up to twenty coffees."

~

"so diablillo, what did this cost tu hermana?" mapi grinned wolfishly, knowing all too well you'd not be doing this out of the kindness of your heart despite alexia's insistence to both her and ingrid you were very much on board.

"new shoes, shopping trip in her closet, twenty coffees." you smirked, mapi letting out a belt of laughter and drawing you into her side with a proud smile.

"and she thinks you are such an angel."

your amused grin faded the closer you got to the vaguely familiar brunette hunched over in the seat at the end of the row, head buried in her phone.

you had of course seen her for all of five seconds the time mapi had given you your tattoo, and once at the game your mami had dragged you to, not really having been in attendance to any of the others to have met her.

as mapi had gone on and on about apparently the two of you would have loads in common, and she was certain it would not take the pair of you long to become friends, though you still couldn't help feeling like a preschooler being set up on a play date with your parents friends kid.

"solstråle." you shifted with a polite smile as you arrived, mapi's arm slung over your shoulder as she poked the girl with her foot and she looked up, squinting slightly at the sun before holding her hand up to shade her face.

not that you had doubts she was ingrids sister, but upon getting a good look at her you could very clearly see her sisters features in her own.

the downward slope of her nose, the dimple in the left side of her cheek, bright green eyes, dark brunette hair pulled back and out of her face, freckles dotting her cheeks and rosy pink lips which curled into an awkward grimace you thought was supposed to be an attempt at a smile.

then, there was the height.

you were a little taken aback as the girl stood, towering over you and mapi but still a little slunched over, as if she didn't quite know what to do with her arms which hung limply by her side, her free hand shoved into the pocket of her shorts.

she had a barcelona jersey on, sporting the away kit while you had on the home one, and your smile softened as you noticed the number four and realised it was mapi's kit.

"fresa?" you hummed as tattooed fingers clicked in your face, pulling you back down to earth and your cheeks filled with colour as you realised mapi had been speaking to you and you'd zoned out entirely, starting to count the freckles dotting the scandi's sharp jawed face.

"hola." you greeted with a much warmer smile, a soft hello echoed back as a somewhat awkward silence fell and mapi whistled, rocking back and forth on her feet, catching ingrids eye who was watching on from the pitch.

"eh well, i have to go and warm up. sol your sister said she left your sunscreen in the bag, and to please wear it, we are running out of burn lotion." mapi spoke and you hid a smile at the way the norweigan's face went bright red and she hissed something in a tongue you didn't understand making mapi grin.

"perfecta." and just like that she was off and the taller girl was sitting back down as you glared at the spainards retreating figure before slowly lowering yourself into your own seat, placing your bag underneath you.

an uncomfortably thick silence hung over the pair of you as you chanced a glance to her every now and then, her own green eyes locked on the pitch watching the girls warm up as you sighed and shifted.

"how do you like spain?" you tried to start a conversation, repeating the question a little louder after a moment when she didn't reply, spectators flooding in now and the chatter around you both growing louder and louder in volume.

"fine." the girl answered quietly as you nodded, slumping down into your seat and fiddling with the hem of your jersey. "do you...play?" you asked, the brunette sending you a quick but confused look as you pointed to the field.

"oh, no." she shook her head once she realised what you were asking, again making no real effort to continue on the conversation and you made a mental note to punch the tattooed defender responsible for this incredibly awkward meeting the moment you got within swinging range.

"do you?" you almost didn't hear her, too focused creating a ten step plan on how to escape this. a stomach ache? family emergency? earthquake in the backyard?

"hm?" you hummed as she repeated herself. "play." she clarified nodding to the field. "oh, no. i have a...ball fear?" you tried to explain in english as sol gave you an odd look.

"alexia, my sister-" you pointed to the blonde girl stupidly, as if sol wouldn't know who she was "-she eh kicked me in the face with a ball when i was little. put my teeth through my lip." you tugged down your bottom lip where the four scars sat from the stitches.

"oh, sorry." sol winced and looked away as you cringed and cursed at yourself, why would you show her the inside of your mouth?? however so preoccupied telling yourself off you missed the ever so slight smile which pulled at sols lips as she snuck a look at you, clearly having a conversation with yourself and mumbling quietly in spanish.

"so um, studying. you need help?" you asked a little more bluntly than you realised, not missing the way the scandi beside you stiffened, only giving a curt nod and refusing to meet your eye.

"mondays and wednesdays. can you do those?" you posed, another curt nod all you got in response. "four in the afternoon, there is a library, lots of meeting rooms you can book. i will...text mapi?" you offered, sol nodding again and crossing her arms across her chest, incredibly toned arms you couldn't help but notice.

sols body shifting ever so slightly away from your own, you knew without her saying a word that was her silently ending the conversation, not that she'd bothered to contribute more than a few words anyway.

"increíble." you muttered, a plan now made that was all you'd agreed on with alexia, and with the girl beside you clearly not interested in speaking much more you didn't feel like forcing it.

this was going to be a lot more work than you first thought.

~

if there is spelling and grammar errors in this pls forgive me its midnight and this has been many months overdue and i wanted to get it done!! hoping its met expectations and we're ready for sol x fresa sooon @girlgenius1111

[v-hope]

glad you’re missing TF bc me too, i wanna see them finally settling and knowing they’re ready for the next big step in their lives or even just discussing building a family after grad or when they’re at a good stage in their careers🥺🤧

pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader

genre: slight angst, flufffff, established relationship, non-idol au

warnings: pregnancy scare, mentions of condoms, mentions of unprotected sex

word count: 2.3k

a/n: um. hello after years lolll. i started going through very old requests in my ask box yesterday in case i found anything that’d bring some inspiration to my very uninspired self, and i found manyyyy tiger flower ones and this one in particular reminded me of a headcanon of mine that i never wrote nor mentioned (i think) but for some reason it was??? an actual Thing???? in my mind????? so yeah lol here i am. i don’t think anyone even cares about tiger flower (minus one person. u know who u are<3) anymore, BUT fuck it, i missed them and enjoyed writing this. i hope whoever reads it enjoys it too, bye<333

A pregnancy scare wasn’t something you were expecting only two months into moving in together after your graduation. It wasn’t something you were expecting at all.

At most, you and Jeongguk had agreed on getting a puppy as a new addition to your family of two. Said discussion happened when the two of you had only been together for a few months, a little over a year ago, where you both agreed on moving in together after you graduated college and then get a puppy right away.

Moving in together was not up for debate — you knew so the moment Jeongguk got a job in the last year of college and so did you, saving enough money to get a decent place and looking for apartments throughout the entire year, so you could secure a lease as soon as your previous ones ended. On the other hand, although you were still excited as hell to get a dog, once you were settled in your shared place, you were both too busy and overwhelmed trying to keep up with your new jobs and all the new changes in your lives to even think of adding another responsibility on top of them all, let alone one that had to do with a living creature.

If neither of you felt ready to get a puppy yet, how the hell were you supposed to raise a child?

Your heart beat so fast against your chest, you felt like you would pass out any moment, as you paced around the bathroom while you waited for the pregnancy test to tell you whether you’d bring another human being to the world in nine more months or not. Endless thoughts running through your mind as you did so, and you internally cursed at yourself for not having waited outside with Jeongguk instead — God knows you needed his arms around you to bring you comfort.

You definitely needed Jeongguk to hold you, you realised the second the alarm you set as soon as you took the test finally went off, managing to somehow turn it off with your shaky hands, and fighting not to drop your phone as you took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a moment before taking a look to the test on the sink.

Once you earned enough courage to finally open your eyes and focus them on it, you exhaled all the air you didn’t know you were holding up until then — instant relief washing through your body.

Negative.

You were given another chance not to raise a child when neither of you were ready.

And yet, a part of you couldn’t help but feel a little bit disappointed, empty even, now that said possibility was out of the way.

Although it was not the right time, a family with Jeongguk was something you’d always be happy about — and something you were only now realising you longed for way more than you thought you did.

Coming out of the bathroom and meeting a very distressed Jeongguk waiting right outside the door, you shook your head no right away, just like that letting him know you were on the clear this time around.

He let out a heavy, shaky sigh, rubbing his eyes with his palms as he processed the news, before he pulled you into his arms like you so badly needed him to — melting into his familiar touch and inhaling his scent as you felt yourself begin to calm down.

He said nothing, you said nothing. Your arms around one another and feeling each other’s comfort were all you needed right then.

Jeongguk didn’t let go until he felt your body stop trembling, only pulling away enough to rest his forehead on yours and cup your face in his warm hands.

“You okay?” He wondered; for a change, not being able to tell what the expression on your face meant right then.

He genuinely didn’t know whether you were relieved or not. And, therefore, he didn’t know how to react to the news. Yes, he had sighed in relief a minute ago, but that was as much as he’d let himself express until he knew how you felt about the whole situation.

You nodded, still a little bit stunned — not knowing whether you should say what was on your mind. Then again, it was Jeongguk the one in front of you, holding you. You knew you could tell him anything and he would understand, or at least try his best to do so.

“Is it wrong that I feel a little bit disappointed?” You finally mumbled, catching his attention. “I mean, I know we’re not ready, and we haven’t planned it at all and I would be so fucking terrified had it turned out positive, but, I just…”

“I get it,” he stepped up when he realised you wouldn’t talk anymore, gently reaching for your hands and holding them in his. “Of course I’m relieved we’re not having a baby right now, but… a part of me really wants to start a family with you now”.

“Now?” You playfully raised an eyebrow.

“Not now,” he panicked. “But, I mean, in the near future, but not that nea—ugh, you get it”.

You couldn’t hold back a giggle, biting your lip when he rested his head on your shoulder, embarrassedly hiding his face in the crook of your neck.

“I know,” you reassured him, running your thumb on the back of his hand. “I can’t wait to start a family with you either. It’d be cute, wouldn’t it?”

He nodded — one hundred percent on board with it, yet pensively.

Up until that day, you hadn’t really discussed your future together. It was more of a given. Unspoken, but you both knew you wanted everything with each other. From moving in together, to getting married, to having kids, to growing old together.

Maybe it was finally time for you to actually bring those thoughts up.

“What do you think is a good age for us to start trying?” Jeongguk wondered, his voice gentle as ever.

You puckered your lips as you pondered your options. “I mean, we’re only twenty three this year… Maybe in another two or three more?”

“Yeah…” he quietly agreed. “We still need to get the hang of living together on our own…”

“Getting a puppy…” you added.

“Save some money” Jeongguk considered.

“Get a bigger place”.

“Get married”.

You smiled at his addition, feeling the by now very familiar butterflies fill your stomach. Reaching your hand up to cup his cheek, you sweetly ran your thumb over the corner of his mouth.

“You wanna marry me?”

“I am marrying you, Y/N” he confidently stated, only to feel his cheeks burn the next second when he caught the way your eyes lit up. “I mean, if you’ll take me, of course…”

You giggled once again, this time throwing your head slightly back as you rejoiced at the new bit of information your boyfriend had just provided you with. “I am marrying you so hard one day, Jeon Jeongguk”.

He beamed, giggling against your mouth as he searched for it and trapped your bottom lip in between his smiling ones.

You couldn’t help but let out a breathy laugh of your own, wrapping your arms around his neck when he held you up by your thighs and took you to the sofa only a few steps away in your living room — not letting go of you for a second as he carefully lied on his back with you on top of him.

Lying your face comfortably on his chest, and running your fingertips up and down on it, you let out a contented sigh.

“So, kids sometime after we’re twenty six?” You returned to your previous conversation, before you got carried away by your desire to spend the rest of your lives together.

He hummed in response. “We should already have achieved all our previous goals by then, so I think it’s the most reasonable”.

“After twenty six it is then” you settled, smiling brightly when he reached for your hand and interlaced your fingers. “How many would you like?”

“Two or three would be nice,” Jeongguk confessed. “I’m okay with as many as you’re willing to have, though”.

“I always thought two… a girl and a boy” you admitted, feeling him smile against your head. “But I wouldn’t mind having three of them with you” a smile curved up your lips at the simple thought.

He chuckled, pressing a soft kiss to your head. “Two girls and a boy, or two boys and a girl…”

“What if it’s three girls?” You looked up at him.

“That’d be nice” he smiled.

“And if it’s three boys?”

“That’d be nice, too”.

“Mhm…” you squinted your eyes, suspiciously staring into his. “You want at least one girl so bad, Jeon Jeongguk”.

“I didn’t say that?” He defended himself.

“I can see it in your eyes” you playfully poked his forehead.

He rolled his eyes in amusement, tightening his hold on your hand to stop you from poking him again. “Well, sue me for wanting a mini version of you”.

Your heart melted, and you were pouting before you knew it. “I want a mini bun, too”.

“Too bad, we’re only having three girls now” he teased.

“Shut up,” you whined, slumping your face back down on his chest. “You just created a new need for me”.

Jeongguk’s chest trembled as a blissful laugh escaped his lips, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you so close to him you almost found it hard to breathe. You would never complain about it, though, let alone when his lips began to pepper kiss after kiss on the crown of your head.

“I love you,” he said. “And honestly I’ll be happy with whatever sex they are as long as they’re ours and we raise them together”.

His words brought tears to your eyes and a lump in your throat, being apparently still too sensitive over the whole situation not to feel like crying when he said the most reassuring words you needed to hear.

“You’re gonna make me cry” you let him know, looking up to meet his doe eyes once more. “But I’ll be the happiest as long as that’s the case, too”.

Jeongguk smiled timidly, gently pushing your chin slightly up for your lips to come in contact with his; pressing a soft kiss on them before his arms were once again tightening their hold around your waist.

“I’m sorry” he mumbled, nuzzling your hair.

“What for?” You questioned.

Jeongguk shrugged, fingers drawing small circles on your back. “For putting you through this…”

You chuckled, burying your face in his neck. “It takes two to make a child, bunny. Which we didn’t get to make, by the way”.

“I know,” he pouted, holding you somehow tighter against his body. “But last time I was too horny to go get a condom”.

You snorted. “Nothing we haven’t done before. We just tested our luck for the hundredth time and it backfired on us for once”.

Although you weren’t looking at him right then, you knew a pout had just formed on his bottom lip. You tenderly kissed his chest, in hopes of making the sad look on his pretty face go away.

When you felt him be distraught still, you decided to switch the mood a little bit.

“Still, I did have the scare of my life, so we’re going on a sex strike for a bit”.

His mouth fell open in disbelief, pulling you up by your shoulders so he could look you in the eye. “You’re not serious”.

“I am” you stated, trying your best not to allow your lips to break into a smile. “One month at least”.

“At least?!”

“Aren’t you the one who went twenty one whole years without having sex?” You raised a teasing eyebrow. “This should be nothing to you”.

“Petal…” he whined, hiding his face in your neck. “It’s not the same now”.

“Why not?”

“Because I got a taste of it with you two years ago and I can’t control myself around you now, you know it”.

“Sucks to be you” you shrugged. “One month starting today”.

Letting out a defeated cry that could only have you finally releasing the laugh you managed to hold for so long, he rested his head back against the couch.

“Can this month end already”.

“So you’re just accepting your fate?” You were the one in disbelief now. “You won’t even try to convince me otherwise?”

“No, it’s up to you” he said, closing his eyes as he threw an arm over them. “If you don’t want me to touch you then I’ll just keep my hands to myself and suffer in silence”.

You half cooed, half laughed, not having expected such a touching answer to your playful question. Then again, it was Jeongguk the one you were dating; you should know better by now.

Removing his arm from his face, you pressed a brief kiss on his nose. “I love you, bun” you ran your fingers through his hair. “As if I’d be able to go a whole month without jumping your bones”.

“Now don’t say it like that” he laughed, throwing one of his legs over your body and making you lie on your sides now.

Properly face to face now, you cupped his cheek and gently caressed it as you rested your forehead on his. “Give me two weeks tops to shake the fear off my body?”

He nodded, lovingly bumping his nose on yours. “As long as you need me to”.

[ajortga]

just too late

pairing: tara carpenter x fem!reader

summary: where tara can't help but regret the outcome of her consequences, she was just too late. how can a heart love if it is no longer beating?

warnings: massive angst, death, stabbing, blood

word count: 3.5k+

a/n: based of a request i got on wp! honestly, i wrote this months ago and got to the end, but their request was so similar that i redid it. posting a small second part soon<3 also omg, thank you for 500 followers!

-

You had just visited Tara, a bouquet of roses in one hand as you knocked on the door. You had seen them when walking to her apartment and you knew that they were just perfect for her. You had to get them. As you heard the lock of the door click, Tara opened the door. She peeked out and saw you, smiling shyly. You thought she'd smile back, but instead her smile dropped. 

That had never happened before. 

"Y/N, we need to talk.

You knew something was wrong, something bad was going to happen. Your breath got stuck in your throat as she stepped aside to let you in. You knew the next thing that would happen would not be good.

 fast forward 20 minutes

You stood there in Tara's apartment, Sam eyeing you with a penetrating death glare. You felt like sinking into the floor right there and then. You hated this kind of silence. 

Sam broke the quietness, her gaze stern, "Y/N, this isn't going to work out between you and Tara." She states, crossing her legs as she sighs, "All of it just adds up."

You shake your head, but before you can retaliate, Sam speaks again.

"You know it too. You started dating my sister two weeks prior before the first ghostface attack. The police found your necklace right next to the victim, covered in blood. I can't trust you and have you near my sister. All of us," she states, twirling her finger in a circle, "Are in danger and I can't let my baby sister get hurt again. None of us trust you, not Mindy, not Chad, and definitely not me. You are going to stay away from her, no more coming over or seeing each other at school. Do I make myself clear?"

"You believe a piece of evidence that barely proves anything? They didn't even find my DNA anywhere!"

"Gloves."

You felt rage crawling its way out, you couldn't believe your girlfriend's sister would think you're the killer. Sam knows all too well how much Tara loves you. "You know I wouldn't hurt you! Least of all Tara! I love her with my whole heart and I would never even think of that! I-I don't know how my necklace got there, someone framed me!" You turned to Tara, blinking away tears that stung your eyes, "Tar.. You believe me right? Please tell her. I didn't do anything! Please don't leave me."

"Please.." you begged. You saw the way her gaze slightly cracked, you knew she didn't believe you. You could feel it, you wouldn't care for fucks sake if Mindy, Chad, or Sam didn't believe you. But Tara was different. It felt like a swing to the heart, it hurt so much. It felt heavy.

Tara didn't do anything but give you a hurt look, staring down at her fingers. You expect her to throw her arms around you, tell you that they all got it wrong and you can both live happily ever after in the end. Yet she doesn't.

"I'm sorry Y/N," she forces her shattered voice in her normal tone, swallowing a cry clawing to come out, "I don't trust you anymore, I don't love you. I-I never did. I just.. Don't think you should visit anymore. We're done."

You felt like your whole heart shattered at that moment as you heard her last two words. You looked at her as you sobbed in your hands. Hurt, mournful, betrayed.

All that Tara said was, "You need to get out please," her eyes pink and glossy.

"You don't understand Tara, please I'm begging you-"

"Y/N, I'm not going to say it twi- It's n-not me Tara!" you say, this point a small cry escaping you. The way Tara looks at you is wild.

Your girlfriend's voice raised, with a fury, she wasn't going to say it again, "Get the hell out! Do you need me to say i-it twice? I don't fucking love you! I don't want to see your face again!"

You flinched, you never felt more heartbroken in your life. Your heart hurt, it felt like someone had smashed it with a hammer. Tears that threatened to fall down were now dropping on the floor. All the moments you've spent together were now thrown away, stomped on. You felt your body shaking as you toss the flowers, leaving them to fall on the floor with a thud. 

You simply nod, slowly.

"Fine." You say, more flat than ever, turning to leave as you feel the petals get stepped on by your shoe. 

All you wanted was to brighten your girlfriend's day, entering with flowers in your hand and just wanting to cuddle her all day long. Yet, here you are, your girlfriend now turning into you ex, flowers dead, no cuddles, no more trust.

Tara felt horrible, the guilt eating her alive. All of her words were lies, she just knew that if you were to separate from her, she would keep you safe. You wouldn't be the target for ghostface if he thought you were just a normal person in Woodsboro. You would be safe. She tried to assure herself that as you slammed the door. 

Her eyes met the squished flower that escaped from the bouquet on the floor and she wondered if she'd ever get flowers from you again after everything.

-

You stared at the picture frame placed on the counter of you and Tara together hugging with matching clothes, you choked on your sobs. Tara nor your friend group had chatted with you since then. Sam had blocked you on social media. At least your other friends had came along and checked up on you to make sure you were okay. Tara had sent a few messages, saying she was sorry that things had ended up like this, but to realize you blocked her.

You couldn't function properly, your eyes were dry with the amount of tears you released in the past week.

It's not your fault, you tried to assure yourself. You weren't ghostface. You can't believe the person you trusted most didn't even put her trust in you.

Maybe it all is your fault. Maybe if you were different, in personality, how much the core 4 really liked you, you wouldn't be here, crying like those teens in the movies that just feast on a gallon of ice cream. It makes you cry a little harder while you hug your teddy bear.

Especially the taunting memory of Tara screaming at you, tears blurring your vision as you stumbled back out of her apartment. Sam's eyes softening just a little bit, not meaning for this to happen. Yet you didn't even try looking into her eyes, too caught up with your own feelings to feel her sorrow.

The past few days, you've locked yourself up, abandoned school. Ignored the core 4, blocked Tara and the other three.

Your mind wandered, you were clouded in your own thoughts as you sobbed angry and hurtful tears. You cried to the point where tears stopped falling, and you were left with feeling nothing and your body feeling sore. Your breathing was still heavy, you let out heavy shaky breaths, but they started to cool down.

You closed your eyes, focusing on your breathing, until you heard your phone buzz from the ground. You picked it up, there was a message.

A part of you expected your friends to check up on you, since that's what they've been doing every since you've stopped going to school. Instead, you were met with a picture from unknown of the abandoned movie theater not too far from here. There, you saw the camera facing a knife pointing towards Tara and Sam, threatening, daring. 

Your eyes widened, as you immediately take your keys and bust out the door, grabbing a small knife, maybe you'll need it, unblocking Tara and calling her and all of those you knew must be in there. They're in danger.

Each call leads to voicemail, from both Tara and Sam, you search up their location. The only one shared for you is Tara's. You almost smash it to the front of your phone holder, locating where they are at.

As much as you hurt, you knew that you would never heal knowing that someone you loved was at risk. The car engine roars to life as you head for the theater.

With each texts and call ignored, you get paranoid, worried sick. Stepping on the accelerator of the car, your car turns a corner and is out of sight.

"She fell for it, she's coming your way," a taunting voice rasps into their phone, Ghostface.

"Our plan is just setting into action."

-

Carefully, you slip into the door of the run down theater. You hear clatters, and immediately you freeze, hiding a corner and peeking out. Tara's scream echoes through the theater, your eyes widen and you look around, for something sharp. 

This is a stupid shrine committed to ghostface, you realize. It makes it a little better, at least you're guaranteed a knife to defend and fight with?

You sweep a corner, the room your in is silent, and you creek down the floor board, being greeted with glass display cases.

You're not good with blood, yet there's evidence from ghostface's mark years ago. TV's, a knife laced in the red crimson color. A gag almost leaves your lips, yet you open the display case and your hands grasp around  a cool metal. It's a knife alright, not too sharp if you were to drop it you wouldn't cut your whole toe off. Yet it's do-able. 

"Tara?" your voice echoes, walking around and exploring, you're frantic. You keep hearing her voice mail ring through your ears and your worry increases.

You thought the room you were in was obsessive with ghostface, yet when you go into the middle of this shrine, it's filled with obsessive things. Masks, robes, knives, even the TV that Stu Macher was killed by. A shiver escapes you.

You look up, and you see the chaos going, glass shattered on the floor, action buzzing around. You see Tara.

"Tara!" You shout, trying to keep your voice low, your eyes meeting the ladder that goes up, you climb on it, grunting in effort. You climb, climb, climb, climb, until you reach the top.

Tara is with Sam, they're talking about their plan, they're a couple hundred feet away from you. The sister's clothes are smothered in blood, Sam's arm has a wound, and you feel sick seeing the blood seeping from your girlfriend's clothes. 

Your about to say her name, until you see a shadow emerge. It's not any that you know, this one is dark, tall, more man-like. 

It's not until you see the tilt of their head the sliver of light reflecting off their mask. Ghost face. 

You don't know what gotten into you from the adrenaline from the moment, but your legs begin to run, move, nothing sounds more fitting than slow motion. His knife lifts from his chest, the sharp metal edge glistening.

You try to scream, the words bubble up in your throat, comes out in a dry cough.

Your legs feel like jelly, run faster, damnit. 

They can't see him, he's behind them, tucked just 2 feet away in a corner, yet you see him. You can save Tara and her older sister, you can save the both of them, you have time. 

You can save the both of them, your love outplays your brain. It's telling you to stop, you're going to get killed. But your heart overwhelms it, beating quicker, with each beat all you can hear is 

Tara

Tara

Tara

Save

Her!

Tara

You

Have

Time.

The knife ghostface is holding gets brought down.

"Tara!" You finally scream, it comes out as a desperate cry as you lunge towards her. Her eyes turn from the setting below her to you, confusion, then shock as your hands shove her shoulders. The strength you built up finally goes to use, pushing her out of harms way, she shoves into Sam, as they both stumble back. 

You hear them both say your name, confusion at first, before the second time they holler it out. It's a scream, yet it dies down in your ears, feeling the cool metal of the blade slam into your shoulder. The ring from Tara's screams fade, replaced with the blood pulsing in your ears. The pain, the sharp knife sinking into the flesh of your shoulder. All you can do is let out a soft cry, too tired to scream. 

Your eyes water, looking up at ghostface, the ugly mask boring into your eyes. He tilts his head, shocked for a moment. Until he tilts his head back again, like the target he hit is even better than what he wanted. They didn't expect you so soon.

The knife tears out from your flesh, a sob leaves your throat, kicking and flaring your arms. 

"Y/N!" Tara screams your name, this one you can hear. She's crying, sobbing, wailing. Begging for her older sister to let her go and save you. 

Sam shushes her, all they can do is watch. All Tara can do is watch you suffer.

His knife slams into you again, your abdomen. You hear a disgusting squelch as it goes in. The pain is unbearable, this stab hurts even more than anything you can think about. You thought the 4 foot thorn going through your foot was bad. You cry, grabbing the knife that's tucked into your pocket and slam it against the black coat, right where the neck meets the shoulder.

A raspy whisper escapes your lips, "F-fuck you." You snarl.

You barely hear him grunt. Yet he doesn't back down, in fact, you hear the disgusting squelch again.

And again.

And again.

The pain lessens. You know why. You're dying.

You can't hear it anymore, but there are now several stabs on your abdomen. You collapse, blood seeping through your clothes, your hands, your face. It's warm, dark red, spreading. It oozes out of your wounds, and the squelching sounds are gone. Your eyes flutter, seeing the flurry of the white masked figure leaving you to rot. Your body collapses to the floor with a loud crash.

You saved Tara, you would die before he could ever kill her. Before she could ever die. If Tara died, you'd kill yourself, or you'd die quicker from a broken heart. 

Sam's yelling, kicking ghostface as he lets go of you, you can barely see her bringing him down to the bottom floor, both of them collapsing off the second story.

Your eyes begin to close, your breath comes in short heaves and wheezes.

And then, you see her, barely, through your weak vision.

It's blurry at first, but you know it's Tara, who else would look so good with blood all over her face?

She presses her body down to you, her warmth barely seeping through, your body is colder. Those warm, soft eyes are wide, looking so scared, hands pressing down deeper to your stomach, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Fuck, no. Nononono.. Why the hell would you do that?" She yells at you, shaking your body, you whimper.

You barely respond, croak her name out, cough out blood.

She's crying, you realize, she's choking on sobs as she cradles you, lifting your body up to her chest. She smells like your favorite scent, sweet.. light.. vanilla.. So lovely.

You just want to be in her arms forever. Let her sweetness soothe the pain.

"Y/N," she sobs, seeing the way you're struggling to stay conscious, you're only holding on because she's there. She can tell the way your eyes are slowly glassing over, your vision is twitching, blurring, un-focusing. 

Don't cry, you want to tell her, even though you know you're here, dying in your girlfriend's arms. But you're too weak to speak, instead, let a slurred murmur leave you. Her hand is clinging to yours, like if she were to let go you would immediately fall away.

"It's okay baby," Tara sniffs, clinging to you. Like if she lets go you'll shatter, "I'm here, help will come soon. Stay with me. Eyes on me baby."

You look at her, your girlfriend, being in her arms. She has a small wound, around her arm to her shoulder, yet it's barely bleeding. Being here, in her arms. It's your favorite thing ever, you've done it so many times to feel her warmth. You never thought you would not be in Tara's arms at night with you buried against her.

Yet you know it's your last time you'll be in them. You can barely feel the warmth she's trying to transfer to you, you're freezing. She senses it too, the way she's hugging you tighter. Pleading you to stay here, with her. The brunette squeezes your hand, distracts you from the pain that's already leaving. Along with your pulse. 

"I'm so fucking sorry," she sobs, "I love you so much, you don't fucking understand," she wails. Pulls you closer to her, "I should have never left you, you mean the world to me, I never meant what I said. I t-thought I could protect you if ghostface knew that you were no longer in our circle."

You wheeze, your eyes never looking away from hers. She notices, how you're studying her, like the moment you don't, you'll forget how she looks like in heaven. 

Freckles, doe-shaped crying eyes. You lift her hand to your chest, let her feel your heart, to let her know that your giving her your heart, your love. You don't want her to forget about you. 

You don't want to die.

Yet if you don't want her to die, you'll die before she could ever. 

Tara's still sobbing, ripping her shirt and tying it against your stomach, the blood seeps through, she tightens it. Looks worriedly down at you. 

Ugly shapes of swiggles and dots cloud, you see random shapes flying. Try to focus on Tara.

Sirens ring in the distance, Tara looks back, yet immediately looks back at you. A tear falls from her stained mascara cheeks, down your shirt. Weakly, you bring it up and wipe her cheeks. Assure her it'll be okay. Yet she knows it's not. They're just too fucking late.

You saved her. That's all that matters now.

"It's all my fault, I'm so sorry my love. I never meant to hurt you. I never thought it would end so soon. I don't want you to die."

You swallow, blood slightly gurgles through your throat, use your dying strength to speak, "I'm h-here." You croak, "T-tara."

"I love you so much," you slur, hiccupping on a cry. Trace the matching necklace she gifted the two of you years past on her neck. You're wearing it too.  Hers was silver, yours was gold. A silver and golden dove.

The blood loss is too much, you can barely speak. But she's here with you, in your last moments. You're able to have a goodbye you might not have had. She might not be ready, but you almost are.

Time wasn't in your favor. It really wasn't. 

This isn't goodbye this is a simply see you later.

She's okay, knowing that makes you feel a little more okay. A little more okay and soothe the worries.

Tara plays with your necklace. A proper goodbye. Her eyes glisten with tears, and she leans down, presses her lips to yours. You kiss her, knowing it'll be the one you'll live to feel. Then you slump back down on the concrete. You don't care about anyone but her anymore. Sirens holler, people bust into the theater, and you look up at her, taking off her necklace and putting it into the palm of her hand.

"I w-want you to promise me one thing."

She sniffles, tears wont stop anytime soon, keeps tying cloth around your deep wounds. It's no use. She nods, "Y-yeah?"

"Promise me y-you won't forget me. E-even when you find someone you love, maybe even more than me. You won't t-throw.." You pause, coughing, "T-throw our memories away.  Promise me that. That when your h-hands hold theirs, you realize that mine was once warmer. When you're by yourself on F-Friday nights, you'll remember that you used to come to mine and cuddle m-me." You hiccup, losing your train of thought, blinking, your words are barely audible, yet Tara can still make them out.

"...When you look at the stars on the grassy meadow, you'll remember that that's the spot we always w-went to to get our thoughts out of things," you barely giggle, it hurts your stomach. "A-and, when you look at all my pictures, or maybe one day I won't pass your mind for once, you'll be ready to let me go. The thought of me still being here. Y-you'll be able to love, even though I might still scar your heart."

She sniffles, seeing the way you begin to struggle on your words, they grow quieter.

"But I won't let that happen, I don't want your h-heart t-to scar," You place her hand on your chest again, "You can have mine."

Tara swallows her tears, still, they drop.

"I love you, Y/N," she sniffles, it's the same word from every other time you both said you loved each other. Yet this time, it's so fucking different. It's the last time you'll ever hear her say it to you while you're still hear. "I'll never love anyone more than I loved you."

"I love you too, Tara," you whisper. It's the last time she'll ever hear it from you. A small, weak smile cracks on your face as she leans down one more time, kisses you softly, taking the last breath from your lips.

And it's time to go. Your chest stills.

And for the last time, she hears your heart beat one more time.

A heart that once beat for her was gone.

[marleyybluu]

Another Man's Treasure

Oscar Diaz x f!reader

Word count: 6.8k (I am so sorry lmao)

Warnings: 18+, shitty husband, smut, p in v, unprotected (but pls don't be this stupid), creampie, dirty talk, cheating (but is it really if your husband is an ass), flirting, fluff, love at first sight type shit, Spanish/English pet names (pretty lady, hermosa, cariño), limited use of y/n(I literally used it once) idk lmk if I missed any.

(I only mention the first song but the other two are more for the… spicy scene😏)

——

The only escape from reality you had was the small moments of disassociation you had between the screaming of your children and the-

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

The shouting of your overgrown child of a husband playing his stupid games on his stupid PS5 that you wanted to set on fucking fire. This is not the life you pictured as a stay-at-home mom, yes the piles of dirty laundry were expected, and the mountainous dishes in the sink but you never predicted you'd be doing this alone. Your own mother stayed at home with you and your two brothers but your dad would still help her around the house so that she got the time to kick her feet up and relax.

You never got that.

You were living with this dark cloud over your head and deep regrets in your mind, why did you marry this man? You did think he was the love of your life, three years together before you got married proved your theory but never did you think it was going to end up like this. The amount of work you did was overwhelming, just one look at the number of toys on the floor made tears sting your eyes. You were tired, exhausted, drained and absolutely depleted.

If this was a job, you'd quit, you would take your children and quit. You wanted to so badly but the small hope of him changing clung to you like a piece of lint. You sighed holding your eleven-month-old on your hip while you made him a bottle, anything to keep him from wailing in your ears-- Jesus, half the time you couldn't hear.

"Babe!"

Your eyes rolled, you loathed his voice at this point. "What?"

"Can you pass me a water bottle?"

"Get up and get it, I'm making Malakai a bottle."

He groaned. "For fuck sake, you're in the kitchen already."

Your nostrils flared, and your eye twitched. You wanted to cuss at him, shout at him until your voice box shattered but you kept whatever calm you had left and ignored him. A small hand landed on your nose and you smiled kissing the tiny palm. "I love you too bubba."

He flashed a little smile and your heart sobbed at the fact that your last baby was growing so fast, teeth already emerging from his gums when just months ago he didn't have any. You could never regret your three little creatures, you loved them dearly, so much so you were willing to put up with the man that helped you create them just so they could have a two-parent household but you didn't know how much longer you could take this.

Heavy footsteps trailed inside the kitchen, you could tell he was angry at the fact that he had to pause his little game just to grab some water. He looked over the sink, utterly disgusted by the site in front of him and instead of just keeping his mouth shut or for once volunteering to do them he decided to spit out a sentence that made you want to knock his head off with the glass bottle you were holding; "You need to wash the dishes."

Your blood was boiling, if life was a cartoon you'd have steam coming out of your ears. "Why don't you get off of the game and do them?" You bit.

He cracked open the bottle cap. "Hey, I'm the one that works all week, you just stay home and do nothing."

Nothing? NOTHING!?

That was it.

That was the tip of the iceberg.

Your shoulders dropped and he left the kitchen, there was that ringing in your ears again that came and went every time you zoned out. Ever since you got married you'd felt nothing but unappreciated by him, you quit your job to stay home with your children and not even a thank you, you made sure he had a good meal when he went to work and all you got in return was an "it was okay." And the disgustingly dirty dish tossed right in the sink you'd just emptied. You were at the end of your rope.

You held back your tears and lightly kissed your son on his head handing him his bottle and putting him on a beam bag so he could lay down and drink. You trotted upstairs to check in on your oldest twins who were in their room colouring and getting along for once. Then you headed to the bathroom locking the door behind you, your body sliding down to the floor, you curled up in a ball burying your head between your knees you let out a long and heavy sigh before your river of tears took over.

A cry session your body and mind were so used to. You wailed into the void, muffling your weeps so that your children wouldn't hear you and come asking what was wrong, a question you couldn't answer without them turning on their father and you didn't want to ruin that relationship they had with him.

You were just so tired.

--

As night fell you remained mute when it came to your husband, whatever he had to say you didn't respond to, you were just happy that it was Sunday and soon he'd be out of your face for a few hours.

With the kids all asleep you were in the kitchen on FaceTime with your older brother. "The kids are great, they're sleeping." You conversed.

"And how have you been?"

There was no hiding how you felt when it came to your siblings, you were the baby and the only girl so when you were hurt they knew and they'd do whatever they could to fix it. "I'm okay... I'll be okay." You reassured. He was the only one who knew some small details about what you were going through and you begged him not to say anything not even to your mother until you figured out how to deal with everything yourself.

"Hey, listen, Jordyn is going on vacation next week, she's hitting Fiji, and I think you should go with her."

You squinched up your face, you didn't have a problem with your brother's wife, always so thankful for the sister you never got but what about your kids? Could you even trust that man to take over your duties even for a day?

As if he read your mind he continued. "I mean it'll be summer break next week, and they can stay by me if you want. I just, I really think you need time away from life. I want to see my little sister happy."

You pouted, it really touched your heart how concerned he was. A vacation would be wonderful, it was all you could dream of after the kids were born, you loved them but you just wanted to be by yourself.

"I'll think about it."

"Well, don't think too hard." He joked. "Whatever. I gotta get their lunches together, I'll call you when I make my decision."

"Sounds good, night."

"Night."

The call ended and you finished packing the twins' lunch placing the bags on the only empty spot on the counter. You huffed at the dishes and your husband's words replayed in your head. Nothing. You do absolutely nothing.

The longer you stared a vengeful plan began to brew. You were about to show him what doing nothing meant.

--

You decided you were going on that trip, Jordyn was excited and your brother was happy with your choice. The week flew by quickly, you kept up your normal appearance of keeping the house clean and to your husband's liking and by each day you grew more distant from him not like he cared in the first place.

On the last day of school you explained to the twins that you were taking a trip with Aunty Jordyn and they, unfortunately, couldn't come but they'd be staying with their uncle and they'd loved that man to death so they were excited either way. Your house was a mess and for once you smiled at it, you'd been letting everything pile up for the last two days, packing the clean clothes they did have in advance. The only explanation you gave your husband was that they were all staying by your brother for the week but you didn't mention that you weren't coming back.

You were leaving tonight and there would be no stopping you. You loaded the van with their stuff and yours and hollered for them to get their little butts in the car. "Last one in the car has stinky feet!" You laughed at the building volume of stomping feet coming across the hall and down the stairs, your twins were out and your youngest sat on your hip giggling at their antics. You happily wrote a short note.

Bye.

That's it.

You showered your baby in kisses and grabbed your keys before heading out the door, you locked it and made your way to the car, buckling in your baby and making sure the other two were in securely. You closed the door and first time in a long time you felt a weight off your shoulders, you smiled in satisfaction at how you left the house knowing you were not going to answer a single phone call from that man.

--

Jordyn squealed. "Ugh! I am so excited I don't even know what to do with myself!" You laughed at her enthusiasm as you put your hair up in a ponytail. It was day 2 of your trip and you were living life, you couldn't remember the last time you felt this relaxed. Now, of course, you missed your children it'd been the longest you'd ever been apart from them so you were a bit clingy with the calls but it was all understandable.

You two were hitting the beach today and you were a bit nervous, nobody had seen your body in almost a year not even your husband but Jordyn had persuaded you to find your behind in a two-piece bikini and you argued that you'd wear it as long as you could wear a cover-up so it was a deal. You looked yourself over in the mirror, you felt oddly confident. You looked fucking good. Three kids did your body right.

"You sure you want that cover-up?" She teased watching you admire yourself. "Hmm," You angled your lower half so you could check out your bum, how plump it had become over the years. "Maybe not."

She winked. "That's my girl."

You two grabbed what you needed and headed down to the beach which was right in front of the hotel you were staying at. The slight wind brushed against the water sending a cool and comforting breeze your way, your ears wiggled at the sound of the waves, and the giggles of other vacationers enjoying their time like you were.

The cushiony sand had greeted your toes after overflowing onto your sandals. You two travelled until you found a decent spot, it was close to the bar and the body of water. You set up your area as best as you could but you were in a battle with the beach umbrella Jordyn insisted on bringing. She watched with her hand covering her mouth to camouflage her laughter. "Okay, you know what, I'll handle this and you go handle us some drinks."

You childishly stuck out your tongue and strutted your way over to the bar, you hopped on an available stool. The bartender noticed you asking for you to just give him a minute. "No worries." You responded. You went on your phone and checked the many pictures your brother sent of your children, you smiled and a bit of sadness tugged at your heart. You missed your babies dearly.

The number of messages went up and it could only be one person. You promised you wouldn't look but you just had to, you swiped and tapped on your husband's name.

Where the fuck are you!?

The house is a fucking mess!

I'm not cleaning up, I hope you know that.

Baby, come on, we can work this out. Please.

You scoffed at the last message and put your phone down casually being greeted by the bartender who watched your various emotions while you went through your phone. "Everything's okay?"

Oh. Wow.

He presented a sweet smile, your eyes slightly widening at the sight in front of you. He was handsome, scratch that, he was fine as fuck. The shaved head didn't usually work on a lot of men but it did him justice, the scattered tattoos on his pretty and tanned skin, his broad shoulders that looked like they were made for legs to be hooked on and not to mention his big arms that looked like they could hold you snug and tight all through the night.

"Uh, yeah, everything's... everything is good." You stammered, a queasy feeling crept through you as it settled in your lower stomach. Butterflies? But you couldn't even remember what that felt like in order to come to that conclusion.

"Good to know. What can I get you, ma?"

You shuddered at his voice. He could talk to you all day.

"One Long Island, and one Piña Colada please."

He nodded. "Starting off slow I see." He chuckled. "Eh, we're on vacation, gotta soak it all up before we go back."

"I see," He multitasked making your drinks and conversing. "And when does the pretty lady go back?"

You blushed, should you even tell this literal stranger when you're actually leaving? But he felt... comfortable, easy to talk to and it's not like you'd ever see him again. "End of the week."

"Oh, you have plenty of time to get shit-faced." He encouraged. He'd finished your order and placed the liquored-down drinks in front of you. "Don't worry about paying yeah? It's on the house. Enjoy your vacation pretty lady."

"Y/n... you could just call me Y/n."

Not like you wanted him to, pretty lady was working just fine

"Nice to meet you. Oscar... Diaz." He winked. "Thanks, for the drinks."

"Anytime, pretty lady."

Your legs felt wonky as you walked away, and your breathing quickened. You did your best to walk back to Jordyn without looking back, if you did you were pretty sure you'd fall, just clumsy as fuck. "Girl, that man was watching you walk away." She whispered. "Stop." You poked, shoving her drink toward her. "Oh please, his eyes were on you." Jordyn gazed over to the bar, "He's still staring."

You casually whipped your head around and sucked your teeth when you noticed he wasn't. You glared at her. She snickered taking a sip from her Long Island. "Makes good drinks too."

You sighed, "Shut up."

The topic was silenced, you downed a few more drinks but sent Jordyn to get them instead while you swam around in the cooling water, floating around enjoying the peace the water brought you. But you couldn't help but occasionally look over to the bar. Oscar Diaz... nice name. Nice face. Cute little moustache that sat above his lips and a goatee that sat below. Pretty rosy pink lips...

Your eyes darted away. You're married.

Are you though?

You swam back up to the beach, it was beginning to get dark and the patrons on the beach became scarce. You wrapped yourself in a towel and collected anything Jordyn hadn't packed up yet. "You want one more drink before they close up? Maybe your new friend will allow it." She teased. You took off your flip-flop and threw it at her but your reaction only made her laugh.

A familiar voice was heard behind you. "So she's beautiful and she's got good aim, better watch out." 

You quietly gasped. "Hi... Oscar."

"Hey, uhm, listen I own a club not too far from here and you know it's a decent hangout for the locals... and the visitors." He winked. "Wanted to know if you two would like to come check it out?"

You fought back a smile. "We could try." You answer without even thinking. "I'll take that," He reached into his pocket handing you a folded piece of paper, you assumed had the address of the place he owned. Your fingers brushed against his, prickles felt like they were forming on your skin and those weird feelings returned in your lower stomach.

He sent you another wink and headed back off to the bar to close up.

--

Of course, Jordyn was down to go. You groaned internally as you two pulled up to a crowded place, looking up at the illuminated sign reading Cloud 9. Hmm, cute. You pulled down your dress as it rose up with each step, your heels clicking against the cold ground, the music booming so loud you could feel your body vibrating the closer you got to the entrance, flashing lights of different colours beamed through the door every time it opened blinding whoever entered. "Where's your friend?" Jordyn asked. "Have patience, I just told him we got here."

"Mhm." She sassed. Your heart thumped in your ears, it pounded against your chest. What were you doing? It was a question you asked yourself from the moment you got back to your room and began to get ready for tonight. You shook off your thoughts and shifted your eyes over to a black door that slowly began to open. "Hey, over here." Oscar waved you two over and you followed. "What's going on, pretty lady?... And pretty lady's friend."

Jordyn nodded at him as a silent greeting, she was just here to observe your anxious behaviour for her entertainment. "Come on," You followed him through a dimly lit hallway and up a flight of stairs, your nerves building and sudden regret forming in your bones until you entered a brighter atmosphere, the loud music returning to your eardrums. He had led you two to a section that only had a few people, you could assume it was the VIP section.

"Anything you two want to drink just let me know and I got you."

Jordyn raised her eyebrows at the tempting bottle of unopened champagne sitting in a bucket of ice. Oscar chuckled granting her permission to open it, she shimmied her shoulders in excitement and got to work. You shook your head at her, you travelled over to the balcony and looks down at all the patrons having the time of their lives, a few familiar faces from the resort and others that weren't recognizable which you could only assume were locals.

Oscar found his place beside you and nudged your shoulder with his. "You want anything to drink?"

"No, not yet, I'm good."

He slowly nodded. "So, what are you doing in Fiji? Besides vacationing."

You huffed, "I just needed time to myself... to get away from shit."

"I hear that." You could just feel those sweet and curious brown eyes boring into the side of your head, you poked the inside of your cheek with your tongue and looked down at your shoes, just anything to not make eye contact with him. You were shy, you were never shy not even with your husband when you first met him. It's like this was a new feeling, you were queasy and nervous and it honestly felt good in a weird way-- it felt good to not be comfortable, to get all flustered over someone like a schoolgirl crush.

"You really own this place?"

He scrunched up his face. "Half own, I guess. My brother and I came here for an escape just like you and we ended up staying. Now, we own Cloud Nine and I work down at the resort once in a while."

"Oh, you're a busy man."

"I try to be." Oscar chuckled. He was so easy to talk to, why was he so easy to talk to?

You found yourself moving a bit closer. "What were you trying to escape from?"

"Life. I wasn't happy where I was living and I wanted better but... given the circumstances, we just couldn't get it. So I threw a dart on a map, so to speak, it landed on Fiji and we've been here ever since."

"Where are you from then?"

"Originally born in Mexico, we moved to LA, and then out here."

"Would you ever go back to the States?" You asked finally looking up at him knowing he hadn't taken his eyes off you all night. He leaned forward, officially entering your bubble. "If I had a good enough reason... yeah."

You looked up at him through your lashes and softly smiled, meanwhile, Jordyn sat on the couch sipping and shaking her head at the sight in front of her. She would playfully scold you in the morning but tonight she'd let you have your harmless fun.

As the party went on you were getting a bit bored being upstairs so you grabbed your girl and headed downstairs to where the crowd was and of course Oscar was right behind you, he felt a sense of protection over you two tonight given this was your first time out here and inside his establishment. You had found enough confidence to start dancing around, a little two-step from left to right to get you going, but soon the constant flow of drinks Jordyn handed you helped you loosen out of that as well.

The DJ was beginning to play all the oldies, and that was your specialty. Oscar watched in adornment as you killed every lyric, every adlib and every beat to whichever song came on. It had transitioned from a bit of Hip-hop to something a lot slower.

  "Right now, we're gonna slow it down a bit, so grab your lovers and take your time."

The lights changed to blue and a recognizable first note had you close your eyes.

Mmm ooooh, my my my my my my my babyyy ouuuuuu

Jordyn had already found herself dancing with a random woman. She looked widened her eyes at you and quickly flicked them over to Oscar, trying her best to encourage you to make your move. But he was faster. You felt yourself being pulled into his warm embrace, his strong chest against your exposed back, his hands carefully snaking around your waist as if he was worried about you rejecting his touch but you gladly welcomed it.

Melting into his hold you two swayed side to side, he leaned down comfortably nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck. You were lost in the vibes of Keith Sweat's Right and a Wrong Way. You reached back hooking your arm around his neck lightly scratching his scalp with your nails. "You smell so good, mamita." He whispered, it was a miracle that you heard him. Your lips parted slightly as you felt his warm breath tickle your skin. His swift hands ran up your sides resting right under your breasts and gliding back down to your hips.

A thumping began between your thighs, now that was something you hadn't felt in a long time. You put that feeling to the side no matter how hard it was to do so. The rest of the night it felt like all the songs were targeted for just you two, you hadn't eased up on him once-- always in close proximity to him. He touched you in simple ways, ways you hadn't been touched in almost a year.

It was getting super late, almost three in the morning and you couldn't recall the last time you were out like this, it'd give you hell when you woke up but it was worth it. You and Jordyn rode back to the resort with Oscar, she exited the car first thanking him for the night out and wobbling her way inside. You giggled watching her walk away, "I should get in there before she tries the key on the wrong room."

But you didn't want to leave him.

And he didn't want to leave you.

"Thanks for tonight, I had a lot of fun."

"No problem, anything to help a pretty lady escape." He bit his lip. "What are your plans for tomorrow?"

"Recovering," You laughed, "But other than that nothing."

"Can I see you again?"

You gulped and nodded. "Mhm."

He laid out his palm your eyebrows furrowed as you rested yours on top of his, he brought the back of your hand to his lips and placed such a gentle kiss on your skin. "Goodnight, mamita."

You wanted to scream. You left the car putting a little swing in your hips as you walked away, you looked over your shoulder and sent him a cute little wave before disappearing behind the doors.

— —

And that's how you spent the rest of your trip, shamelessly flirting with Oscar. You got to know each other a lot more, when you weren't spending time with Jordyn you were with him. Giggling like an airhead and blushing red like Rudolph's nose.

Jordyn constantly teases you about the crush you'd seem to quickly develop.

"Is this stupid?" You ask shoving your face in the pillow. This all felt too good to be fucking true, a guy that you met only four days ago was treating you so much better than the man you married four years ago. Oscar had flowers for you at the front desk of the resort every morning and sent you the sweetest messages throughout the day about how he was thinking of you, how he caught a glimpse of you today and you looked stunning, calling you the prettiest woman he'd ever seen step on this island.

You convinced yourself they were all lies, sugarcoating you like he probably did every woman but who were you fooling? Certainly not yourself and certainly not Jordyn.

"It's not."

"I'm married." You argued tiredly to which she fake yawned. "I don't see a ring on that finger and I don't see that man treating you any better than Oscar has. Just saying."

The fingers on your right hand brushed your vacant ring finger, you'd taken it off the minute you got on the plane, you didn't want to be reminded of him on this trip at all and yet there was that piece in the back of your mind that reached out to him. Checking his messages once in a while but never responding, he was giving you the attention you wanted but it didn't feel right.

The fact that you had to spontaneously leave to get even a fraction of what you were asking for was bullshit. Downright bullshit.

You groaned sitting up the pads of your fingers now rubbing your temples, tired and stressed. The trip was almost over and you dreaded going back to that house that was no longer a home. He'd sent you pictures that he'd finally cleaned up but you had a feeling once you returned home things would go back to the way they were and you did not want that.

"I think your brother would agree with me, you've smiled more in these past few days than I've seen back home, I mean you two are always so distant when you come over. And don't think I don't hear your rants when you and your brother are on the phone. Now I don't condone cheating but, hey, I didn't see shit."

You sighed checking your phone for any recent texts from your husband but Jordyn caught wind of what you were doing and snatched your device. "Enough with him. Flirt and have fun before you have to go back to normalcy."

You heard your phone buzz in her hand, she looked at the message for you. "Speaking of, someone is downstairs."

You felt nauseous. "Where are you two going anyway?"

"Down to the beach, said he has to restock the bar... and I wanted to spend time with him so I offered to help."

"Mhm." She winked. You grabbed your phone back from her grasp and told her you'd be back soon. You left your room, entered the elevator and headed downstairs where Oscar was happily waiting for you. "Hola querida." He become more comfortable speaking Spanish around you, especially when he noticed how the little nicknames got a reaction out of you.

"Hi," Oscar noticed the shaky tone in your response and made note of it You had comfortably slipped your hand inside his, he immediately hooked his fingers in the spaces of yours. Like he was your puzzle piece.

You two headed down to the decent-sized Hut, your eyes widened at the number of boxes sitting on the sand. "Don't worry, I got the heavy bottles, you just get the small ones." He reassured pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You loved those, so innocent and sweet, although you wish sometimes he'd kiss you on your lips or you had to courage to kiss his. "Think I can't handle the big boxes?" You scoffed walking inside after him.

"I think you can, I just don't think my pretty lady needs to."

My pretty lady.

ugh!

With music playing in the background you two got to work, "Do you still think about running your own restaurant?" You asked sparking a conversation, you squatted down to the lower shelves and propped the glass bottles in an organized fashion, eyes tearing through the material of your sundress and you could feel them. "I do, yeah. Why?"

You bit your lip. "Would it still be down here?"

There was a beat of silence. "Most likely."

Another pause in the moment aside from your soft humming to the music. "You excited to see your kids?" He asked. You smiled at the mere thought of them. "I am. My three little headaches." Oscar found himself next to you, leaning against the counter, you stopped your movements and looked up-- he had one arm folded over the other and a bit of a scowl on his face.

"What?" You innocently question standing up to match his eye line, well more-like chest line. "Nothing, just trying to take my time to remember this face." He reached for your cheek, his fingers ghosting your flesh. "You flirt like this with all the girls here?"

A question that was supposed to come out jokingly but you were a bit serious. "Nah," You squinted at him watching his lips press together, his chest stuttering as he held back a laugh. "You asshole, I knew it." A dramatic hand to your heart as you playfully pouted at him and fake cried. Oscar's arms enveloped you in their warmth, you attempted to push him off but it was no use, your feet suddenly off the ground, you squealed and giggled as he switched positions with you plopping you on top of the counter.

He placed his palms flat on the side of your thighs while he was positioned comfortably between them. "To be fair, hermosa, it is kind of my job. But believe me when I say I've never spent any time with them. And I've definitely never brought them back here after hours." His thumb and pointer finger pinching your chin. "Just you, princesa."

You melted, your whole body could be seen physically slumping in his hold. His eyes sparkled while he looked at you, the crinkles in his eyes appearing as he smirked. Before you could comprehend anything his lips brushed yours, your head suddenly becoming foggy with the inappropriate images of him that you'd conjured up these past few days.

His nimble fingers danced along the hem of your dress, a rush of heat passing over you as he hiked it up further exposing more of your flesh.

This was no longer a want... it was a need.

Your hands landed right under his jaw as you pulled him in crashing your lips onto his and he happily reciprocated your energy, his hands wandered up to your hips tugging you closer to him as if it were possible. Your lips moved as one, tongues passing by in the heat of the moment, the only thing on your mind was him and you wanted it to remain so for as long as possible.

Tingles scattered around your body, both of you flushed with lust and arousal. Your hands travelled to the bottom of his shirt quietly begging for him to take it off, you needed to feel his skin, thankfully he got the message-- pulling away for a brief moment to remove his top. Your eyes glazed over his lightly tanned skin, little scars here and there you can only presume he earned before he got here.

You smiled at the strewed ink on his torso, chest and ribs. "What are you thinking about?" He inquired. You looked back up into his brown iris'. "I wish I had met you first." You mumbled drawing him back down, this kiss was a lot more passionate and slow unlike the first.

Oscar's hands gently tugged at the neckline of your dress, your breasts spilling over and his calloused hands finding them. You softly moaned against his lips, your nipples hardening from the cool breeze and his fondling. He pinched and rolled them between his fingers, your head tipped back and his teeth nipped at the column of your neck.

You were forming a small pool in your panties at his teasing. His tongue grazed your neck continuously licking and sucking a specific spot that was getting a squirming reaction out of you. You felt his devilish smile, he knew what he was doing to you and he liked it.

His hands moved from torturing your swollen breasts back down to your thighs shoving your dress up until your little black panties were on display. You sat on the edge of the counter making it a bit easier for him to remove them, the cool air hitting your soaking slit.

"Touch me, please, touch me." You whined not caring about how desperate and needy you sounded. Oscar listened to your pleas and dipped one hand between your legs, his fingers quickly finding your slick folds. You shuddered as he glided two fingers up and down, dipping them inside you once in a while.

You were soaking, you were throbbing, and you just wanted him inside you where he fucking belonged. He slowly plunged his fingers inside, you clench around them happy to have something pleasuring you. Your eyes are closed and your legs spread further for him, nails digging into his shoulder blade hopefully leaving little indents.

He pumped them in and out of you with the squidgy noise of your wetness to follow. "Yes... oh yes, like that."

Oscar felt himself twitch under his boxers using his other hand to undo his belt and pulled down his materials. His dick is hard and his tip a rosy pink turning cherry red oozing with a bit of cream, his hips buckled once his hand brushed over it-- equally as desperate as you were. Your erotic moans were like music to his ears, so much sexier than he could've pictured. You whined once he removed them your hole flexing around nothing as you caught your breath.

Oscar hooked your legs over his arms spreading you to his desire, you reached between your bodies firmly (but not too tight) grasping his length and guiding it to your entrance, his swollen head prodding inside you as the rest of him followed.

Your jaw slacked at the feeling of him deliciously stretching you out, he was so thick and it felt so nice. Oscar croaked out a moan while burying himself deep inside your warmth-- coating his dick with your sticky walls, so slick and welcoming that he didn't want to move.

You caressed the back of his neck as he pressed another kiss on yours, trailing it up the side and finally landing on your mouth. You giggled into the kiss, Oscar pulled back with a questioning look. "I can't tell the last time I felt like this." You mumbled under your breath but he heard you. He didn't want you to leave, hell if you didn't have kids he'd probably try to convince you to move out here with him.

He didn't say anything in response just pulled out and pushed back in. "Fuck." You both moaned.

His head dipped back down, nibbling on your sweet skin.

You whimpered through every tantalizing stroke he gave you, his tip poking right at your hot spot and you knew you wouldn't last. "You feel so good!" A sentence broken by little gasps. Oscar grunted, violently gripping your thighs as he pounded you, pulling the filthiest sounds from your pretty little throat. So loud and erotic he was sure they could hear you back at the resort.

Your eyes squeeze in absolute bliss, your head hazy from the constant pleasure you received, quickly feeling a sensation in your lower belly a wave of heat threatening to take over. Your palm lay flat on his back while the other gripped the edge of the counter.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! Oscar!"

He lifted you off the counter a bit, relentlessly slamming into you now. Your high getting closer and closer. "I can, shit, I can feel you mamita. So fucking tight."

Your toes curled and your eyes rolled. "Baby, ohhh, I need to..."

Oscar smiled. "You wanna cum for me, baby? Come, mi amor, all of it."

His words tipped you off the edge, your back arched and your body trembled from the shockwaves of your orgasm, he held you closely revelling in your pulsating pussy dripping down his shaft.

He quickly brought you off the countertop, your wobbly legs barely holding your support. He turned you around, you barely recovered from the first position.

You were sensitive and extra wet just how he wanted you. You flinched when he pressed himself against your entrance once again, pushing in ever so carefully. "Fuck... you."

He laughed menacingly, his hands squeezing your hips. "That's what I'm doin' pretty lady."

You wanted to give him a smart-ass answer but it was cut short when he began to move. Your nipples were hard against the surface, you rested your head down and whined. "So fucking good."

"Yeah?" He chuckled spanking you. He was enjoying the pornographic sounds that you provided, all going straight to his dick.

He wrapped his arm around your waist pulling you up against him, back pressed on his chest, his warm breath in your ear. "Can't get enough of you I swear." He admitted.

He poked and prodded against that familiar spot, tears of overwhelming pleasure threatening to spill when he pinched your nipple. "Fuck! I'm gonna miss you, so fucking much."

"You gonna think about me?"

"Yes! Oh!"

You felt him twitch inside you, you smiled egging him on. "I won't stop thinking about you, when I touch myself I'll picture it's you-"

"Fuck, cariño,"

"Ou, you're the only one I want inside me."

You convulsed around him feeling another orgasm quickly building and getting ready to fall apart. A few more thrusts and Oscar held himself still inside you, your body shivering at the warm cream he just spilled inside you. His high triggering yours. You reached behind hooking your arm around his now sweaty neck.

The sound of the wind against the water and the waves crashing describe exactly how you felt right now.

"Oh... my god." You said breathlessly.

"You're okay?" He asked with a laugh. You giggled tipping your head back on to his shoulder. "Better than okay."

He sighed kissing your back. "I meant it..." You said.

"What?"

"I'm gonna miss you."

He smiled sheepishly. "I'll miss you too."

--

Those moments replayed in your head constantly, it was the only thing getting you by once you came back home. You two still talked every day, called and FaceTimed but it wasn't enough. You would stare at the prices of tickets and sigh, you couldn't afford to go back right now.

Your life was the same, unloved and unappreciated, despite the embarrassingly desperate messages your husband had sent when you were on your trip. You stared at another pile of dishes, your shoulder sinking with exhaustion. With your two older ones at school and your son almost an hour into his nap you decided to just relax. You clicked on Netflix and attempted to finish Bridgerton's, Queen Charlotte.

Your eyelids felt heavy, sleep threatened to take over but the doorbell had them shoot open. It wasn't just one ring it was multiple and it was annoying so you assumed it was your brother. You groaned trudging to the door. You swung it open aggressively, ready to give him a piece of your mind. "You're going to wake-"

There he was. Standing in front of you, on your doorstep... at your house. "O-Oscar..." You poked his chest to see if he was really there. "Said I'd come back when I have a good reason." Your eyes softened, your arms reaching for him. His lips immediately find yours. "I," kiss, "fucking," kiss "missed you."

Your legs wrapped around his waist as he stepped inside closing the door. He carried you over to the couch and plopped you on the cushions. You laughed, your mood immediately changing with him around. "Jordyn told you where I lived didn't she?"

He nodded. You rolled your eyes. "Of course."

"Not happy to see me?"

You pulled him down for another kiss.

"Beyond happy."

I was going to wait until the weekend to post this but I am a little too excited to get this out.

Shoutout to my girl @darqchilddaydreamz for her input on a few things and her encouragement. Holdin it down ✊🏾

if you liked this fic feel free to like this fic, comments and reblogs are appreciated.

Alsooooo thank you for 800 followers, yall cool as fuck thanks for fucking with me and my antics.

Peace and love see you in the next one✌🏾

🏷: @darqchilddaydreamz @skyesthebomb @realhotgurlshit

[jisungsdaydreamer]

Tolerate It

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» · «TAGLIST»

SYNOPSIS You know your love for your husband should be celebrated, but instead, it’s tolerated.

Pairing: Bang Chan x fem reader Genre: angst, established relationship Warnings: Unhappy marriage, mentions of cheating, swearing, toxic spouse, gaslighting, emotional abuse Word Count: <1k 

P.S. ♡ If you like my work, please consider giving me feedback in the form of reblogs, comments, and asks! ♡

“Where were you last night?” 

Chan sets down his fork with a heavy thud and puts his head in his hands, visibly frustrated. “Not this again.”

You hold back tears as you wordlessly rise, placing your plate in the sink and leaving the kitchen while ignoring the incessant calls of your husband. You already know the answer to your own question, but you ask him anyway, maybe because you still love him and can’t pretend that every single time this happens, you’re not dying on the inside. But maybe you’re also asking him because it’s your duty. It’s your duty to be a faithful wife to your husband, to look after him and love him. And you do all of it. 

Every single day, like clockwork, you wake up at five to cook him a hearty breakfast and prepare him a lunch packed with love. You have memorized how he likes his coffee at different intervals in the day. When he comes home from work, you take his coat and briefcase before seating him at your dinner table and welcoming him with a delicious home cooked meal. You give him shoulder massages while he watches TV and doesn’t even thank you. Your children are never a challenge to their father, only a joy, because you are willing to bear the burden of the more difficult parts of your children’s upbringing. You gave up your passion to commit to a lifetime of serving him. Instead, you work a tedious desk job that’s soulless, but stable, so you can come home early. For him. You can and will drop everything and go to him if he merely whispered your name. Under your watchful eye, the house is always sparkling clean and inviting at all times, just for your husband. 

But you’ve never been good to yourself. You have never spared a single thought for your own wellbeing and sanity. You can’t even fathom holding your heart together while it breaks, because you’re too busy slaving away for the man who shatters it, over and over again.

As you enter your bedroom, you can’t even slam the door shut and lock yourself inside, because you know your husband will want to come and rest soon. The children are fast asleep in their own rooms, and you’ve dined with your husband. You have fulfilled your responsibilities for the day, and now, you shed the flawless facade as you desire.

Collapsing onto the bed, your body racks with fast, choked sobs, and you know you are completely and utterly alone. For a long time, you’ve been unfeeling. Chan stabs at you, again and again, and yet, you never responded, numbly taking it all. You knew what he did after hours, all of those times that he called home and breathlessly explained that he would be working late. Or those times he stumbled into the house, limbs disoriented and hair mussed, mumbling about a harmless trip to the bar with his boys. And then there was when he waltzed in with a lipstick stain on his collar, the collar that you had neatly pressed in the morning. Some lady bumped into me and accidentally smudged her lipstick on me, you’re just paranoid.

You weren’t stupid. You just didn’t want to feel. Of course, you could not refrain from crying yourself to sleep every night, but nevertheless, when the sun hit your blinds, you pretended you were okay. Last night was different. 

For the first time, he hadn’t bothered even attempting to cover up mistakes, because he wasn’t stupid either. He was aware you knew about his infidelity, and it looked like he didn’t value you enough anymore to even come up with a lie. He had staggered into the kitchen and asked what you had made him for dinner, instead of pushing out his usual pathetic excuses. 

Thinking of him feels like there is a metaphorical balloon in your chest, swelling rapidly but never reaching the apex, the breaking point, because even now, you can never truly fall apart. Falling apart would mean running to your husband and grabbing his arms, screaming at him for a reason why you aren’t good enough anymore. Falling apart would be taking your children, the ones you cared for, and leaving him behind. Falling apart would be falling out of love for him. But you’re still scared, clinging to the hopes of a happy marriage and being truly cherished by the man you are killing yourself for.

It’s why when Chan walks into the darkened room, shutting the door behind him quietly and laying next to you in the bed, you stay quiet instead of having the courage you need to confront him. 

“I’m trying, baby. I’m trying to be better,” Chan whispers into your ear, his arm thrown over your waist and pulling you close. 

You say nothing, just giving him a brief nod while he turns his back to you once and falls asleep. You stay awake, though, and let the silent tears stream down your face. This isn’t the first time he’s promised to change, nor the first time you’re risking your sanity forgiving him. 

Your love is never ending, wishing and pleading for the man you know he could be once again if he tried. You stay running after the man you fell for— someone who was funny, attentive, and sweet. Someone who loved you too, once upon a time. You know your love should be celebrated, but all he does is tolerate it.

«GENERAL M.LIST» · «NAVIGATION» · «TALK TO ME» · «TAGLIST»

TAGLIST @hamburgers101 @chansburgah @ajxreads @hash2013 @pixigreen @ana-marais98 @ohish @chizumiyoshi @lilydaisyyy @jetblackbelle

Network: @kflixnet

©jisungsdaydreamer 2023 | All rights reserved. I do not condone translations or transfers of my work onto other platforms such as Wattpad, AO3, etc. Tumblr is my only platform. Acts of plagiarism are strictly prohibited.

[gunnrblze]

I'd like to know a naughty Elias thought that you haven't told us…👀🙏🏼

May I suggest nasty old man pervert Elias?👁️ (im sorry in advance lmfao)

Retired Elias or something who attempts to find something to fill his days with now that he isn’t barking orders and what not, tending to the shit he swore he’d never miss, but now does.

At first he takes the time to relax, but he’s a fast paced man, that gets boring quickly. He’s not quite made to just laze around. Not on his own, at least.

Enter you, somehow. He meets you, gets to know you, and bless his heart, he’s obsessed.

The man is older now, early 50s aren’t too kind on one’s lower back. So when you’re over at his house one day and he asks you to bend over for him, pick something up he dropped, of course you oblige.

Except he’s not quite the average 50 year old. In better shape than a lot of people with less years weighing on them. But the way your ass fills out your pants is almost too good to be true. The smile on your face and the way your shirt rides up to reveal a sliver of your lower back has him acting as if he’s never seen a woman before.

He asks if you’d help grab some stuff out of the attic with him-old photos of his boys you’d wanted to see-and watches the way your neck slicks with a sheen of sweat from the warmth upstairs. Plucks a box from a shelf with ease as he silently imagines licking it off your neck, the sound that’d come out of your delicate throat if he were to trail his tongue down between your legs. He’d lick up every square inch of you, if only you’d ask…

He’s aware of what he’s doing, but his poor dick has started to think for him again now that you’re around. He’s not a young soldier anymore, can’t get it up to the mere sight of just anything.

But you’re not just any other sight.

He almost wants to beg to be let out of retirement, instead of being let out of his cage like some old dog. An old dog who’s got you keeping him company, you sweet thing.

You help cook dinner with him, he pours you a glass of wine and himself a bourbon. He doesn’t even try to hide the way he shamelessly stares at you, smiles every time your tipsy giggles and hiccups get the best of you. He watches your lips wrap around a fork and tries not to wonder how they’d feel kissing down his chest, nipping and biting all over.

Your mark is left on him otherwise though, that’s for sure. He puts on a boring old movie for the two of you two watch after dinner and lets you cuddle into his side, a heavy arm slung around you. He revels in it -poor guy doesn’t get anything like this anymore, nothing as breathtaking as you- keeps you wrapped up, massages a hand over your hip, enjoys that little squirm you do. Would you squirm the same way if he slid his fingers inside of you and massaged those tight walls, too?

And your scent only lingers on that shirt you left in his bathroom after he accidentally splashed water on you while washing dishes… leaving you no choice but to change into one of his. He didn’t mind letting you borrow one, darling. He didn’t mind you forgetting to change out of it either.

And when you go home at the end of the night, giving him a peck on the cheek and flashing that sweet smile, it’s more than enough.

He only waits long enough to ensure you pull out of his driveway safely before he snags that shirt from the bathroom (if he stored it under the sink after you left it there, being the reason you forgot all about it in the first place, well that’s on him) and heads to his bedroom.

Just the thought has his worn out cock swelling up faster than he thought possible these days. Damn near ripping his belt buckle open, shoving his cargos down as he sprawls out on his duvet, all he has to imagine is your pretty little self.

A hand wrapped around his length, squeezing and stroking and groaning into your soft shirt, clenched in his fist and near trembling…he figured heaven may be real after all.

He inhales your scent, burying his face in the fabric while he touches himself. Just picturing the sight of you in his t shirt from earlier, had him panting and moaning into the quiet of his room. Truly a dog, if there ever were one.

He’d groan your name without a care, unable to help the way he imagined your pussy wrapped around him instead. How your tits would bounce if you rode him. He let himself pretend it was okay, you’d never know after all, just enamored with the nice older man whose company you enjoyed. He was so sweet to you, too. Couldn’t help but come back for more.

Cum splattered all over his lower stomach from where his shirt had lifted, he kept tugging his softening cock, wincing at the sensitivity. Near pleading for you, as if you were still there.

He could feel almost feel your lips ghosting over his cheek again, feel the warmth of your body pressed to his side. All he wanted to do was stare into your sparkling eyes and ruin you just enough to gloss them over a bit.

For now though, Elias would suffice for the soft sound of your voice as you called him, letting him know you’d gotten home, but asking if you’d left that shirt lying around…?

[ruewrote]

𝑏𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑣𝑒𝑠.

PAIRING: baxter radic x fem!reader WARNINGS: insecurities, no use of y/n GENRE: angst to fluff SONG INSPIRATION: close to you by gracie abrams WORD COUNT: 1218 REQUESTED: yes

navigation | ask | baxter radic masterlist

the sun was just beginning to rise over the horizon, casting a golden glow on the water as you sat on the sand, legs crossed, your surfboard lying next to you. the upcoming surf competition was just hours away, and the familiar thrill of the waves should have filled you with excitement. but instead, a heavy weight settled in your chest.

you sighed, brushing a hand through your hair, eyes focused on the endless ocean before you. in theory, you knew you were a solid surfer, you had the skills, the practice, and the determination. but as you sat there, watching the experienced competitors already warming up, self doubt started creeping in. 

"what am i even doing here?" you thought, biting your lip. you could feel that old insecurity bubbling up, the part of you that always seemed to undermine your own accomplishments. maybe you were just fooling yourself. maybe you weren’t as good as you thought.

baxter showed up just as you were sinking further into those thoughts, his presence as casual and laid-back as ever. you heard the soft crunch of sand under his feet before he dropped down beside you, his eyes scanning your face with an easy smile.

"looking like you’re about to take on the world. or...maybe not," he said, leaning back on his palms and gazing out at the waves.

you forced a small smile, but it didn’t reach your eyes. “yeah, well... i’m not really sure why i signed up for this thing.”

baxter frowned, shifting his weight to get a better look at you. “what’s that supposed to mean? you’ve been killing it on the board all summer.”

you shrugged, pulling your knees closer to your chest, the familiar feeling of doubt gnawing at you. “yeah, but i don’t know... i’m not like them.” you gestured toward the surfers already in the water, cutting through waves like it was second nature.

“they’re pros,” you continued, shaking your head. “i’m just...me. i can’t compete with them. i’m not as fast, or strong, or–”

baxter cut you off with a quiet scoff. “there you go again.”

you blinked, turning to him in surprise. “what?”

“downgrading yourself,” he said, his voice calm but firm. “i’ve seen you do it before. you’re always acting like you’re not good enough, like you don’t deserve to be out there, even though you know damn well you’re more than capable.”

your mouth opened in protest, but baxter raised an eyebrow, daring you to deny it. the truth of his words stung a little, and you found yourself staring at the sand instead of arguing.

“i don’t get why you do it,” he continued, softer now. “you know you’re good. you wouldn’t have gotten this far if you weren’t.”

you let out a small, humorless laugh. “i just... i don’t know, bax. sometimes it feels like i’m fooling myself, you know? like i’m pretending to be someone who’s got it all together when really...i don’t.”

baxter was silent for a moment, and when you finally looked up at him, his gaze was steady, thoughtful. he wasn’t one for deep conversations, but right now, something in his expression was more serious than usual.

“hey,” he said, his voice low but sincere. “you’re not fooling anyone. least of all me.”

your heart skipped a beat at his words, a strange mix of comfort and something else settling in your chest.

he shifted closer, dropping his elbows on his knees as he continued, “you know, i’ve been hanging around you all summer, right? seen you handle every challenge that comes your way, whether it’s wiping out or picking yourself back up. and no matter how many times you mess up, you always keep going.” his eyes softened, his usual playful edge replaced by something more real. “that’s something not everyone has.”

you swallowed, feeling the weight of his words sink in. he was right. you did keep going, even when you felt like giving up. even when that little voice in the back of your mind tried to convince you otherwise.

“and it’s not just about surfing,” baxter added, his voice dropping lower. “i’ve seen how you carry yourself, how you help people out without even thinking twice, and you’re always putting others before you. but you never seem to see that, huh?”

you blinked, caught off guard by the sincerity in his tone. “i...i guess i never thought about it that way.”

baxter nodded, as if he expected that answer. “of course, you didn’t. you’re too busy tearing yourself down before anyone else can. but here’s the thing, no one else is tearing you down. they’re probably looking at you and thinking you’ve got everything figured out.”

for a moment, the only sound between you was the steady crash of the waves. you didn’t know what to say, the weight of his words settling into your chest, making you realize just how hard you’d been on yourself lately.

“i guess i’ve just...always been like this,” you admitted quietly. “second guessing myself, thinking i don’t measure up. it’s hard to shake.”

baxter was quiet for a moment before he leaned in just a little closer, his gaze locking onto yours. “yeah, well...maybe it’s time you start seeing yourself the way i see you.”

your breath caught in your throat at his words, your heart suddenly beating a little faster. “and how’s that?” you asked, trying to keep your voice steady.

he smiled, that usual teasing glint back in his eyes, but this time there was something warmer behind it. “someone strong. someone who doesn’t give up, even when things get tough. someone who’s better than they give themselves credit for.”

you stared at him, taken aback by the sudden vulnerability in his words. baxter wasn’t the type to get all mushy, but right now, the look in his eyes was completely genuine.

“and for the record,” he added, his voice softening, “i... kinda like you, too. just thought i’d get that out there.”

you blinked, completely caught off guard. “wait, what?”

he shrugged, leaning back again, trying to play it off as casual. “yeah, i mean...you’re a pain in the ass sometimes, but i like you. and i’d hate to see you sell yourself short when i know just how great you really are.”

your heart was pounding now, and you could feel heat rising to your cheeks. you hadn’t expected this, any of this, but it was suddenly all too real. you glanced down at your hands, trying to process everything he had just said.

baxter didn’t push for a response, though. he just let the words hang in the air, giving you time to take it all in.

finally, after a long moment, you looked up at him, a soft smile tugging at your lips. “thanks, bax. for everything.”

he smirked, his usual confidence returning as he stood up and stretched. “don’t mention it. now, come on,” he said, offering you his hand. “let’s go show those other guys what you’re made of.”

you hesitated for only a second before taking his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. and as you stood there, the ocean stretching out before you, 

you couldn’t help but feel a little lighter, a little stronger.

comments and reblogs are appreciated ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

© ruewrote 2024.

[atlas-of-a-human-soul]

Wildest dreams, pt. 24

Summary: Y/N’s struggling to accept what her future brings and Paul shares a possible solution with her.

Warnings: angst, fluff, sexual innuendos, swearing, talking about death

Wildest Dreams Masterlist

————————————

Very few things in life are precious to Y/N. Her father and Paul are at the top of the list, her friends share the 2nd place, and the necklace her mother bought her for her 10th birthday is a close third. She’s never valued material things over the heart, placing her valuables in each chamber it possesses, leaving one open for the children she planned on having with Paul in time. 

Time…another thing she took for granted, a valuable she never truly took into consideration. When you’re young, you believe time comes in abundance. It fools one to waste it, to wait for things to happen instead of taking that leap off the cliff with the hope that the landing will be painless. 

All the time she thought she had is now slipping through her fingers like sand. They could have lived a thousand more precious moments together, and started a family…all of it is gone now, replaced by the paralyzing fear of leaving her loved ones in despair once destiny claims her. 

Paul can promise he and the pack will protect her, but in reality, time waits for no one, and destiny listens to no man – not even a shapeshifting one.

Y/N didn’t want to worry him further, trying to appear strong for his well-being as days pass, but once the bathroom door closes and she steps into the shower, there is no need to pretend. She’s been holding back tears since their talk at the beach, showing a brave front for Paul’s sake, but she can’t stop the tears from flowing anymore.

As the water cascades down her trembling body, Y/N leans against the wall of the shower. Sliding to the tiled floor, she buries her face in her hands as sobs wrack her body. The tears come hard and fast, mixing with the water as they meet their end on the palms of her hands. Clasping a hand over her mouth, she tries to muffle her cries, not wanting Paul to hear, but the sound of her sobs echoes off the tiles. She can only hope the sound of her breaking is drowned out by the steady stream of water.

Slowly, the warm water becomes colder and she realizes she’s been gone for too long. Even if he hadn’t heard her cry, he’d wondered why she was not out of the shower yet. The tears have stopped, replaced by dry heaving and a sense of exhaustion. She draws a deep breath, attempting to steady herself but it doesn’t help. Her arms are wrapped around her pulled-up knees, head resting back on the wall. Looking up, she holds her breath instead. Deep breaths never helped her panic attacks in the past, but holding her breath would clear her mind enough to find a focus, something to anchor her. 

Watching the water falling on her shaking body, feeling the coldness of each drop, allowing it to ground her. The weight of the world sits heavy on her shoulders as she forces herself to stand. First, she sat forward on her knees, the icy cold water hitting her back causes her to hiss but it also brings clarity. It’s as if she’s sobering up, her senses returning to her full force all at once. Closing her eyes, she holds her breath once more. Five seconds. Ten. Twenty. Gasping for breath, she grabs onto the shower door, forcing it open. Pulling herself up by the handles, she grimaces when the door creaks as if it will break. She can’t stand on her own otherwise, her legs are numb from the cold water, and calling Paul for help would be worse than a broken shower door. If he sees her like this, it will break whatever’s left of his sanity.

One step at a time, she tells herself. It’s going to be fine. 

Moving to the sink, she glances at herself in the mirror. Her eyes are red and puffy, giving away all she wishes to hide. With quivering lips and chattering teeth, she wraps a towel around herself. Swallowing thickly, she catches a glimpse of her engagement ring in the mirror. Looking down at it, she lets out a shuddered breath. The world won’t end if she dies, it’ll keep on spinning with or without her, but it will end for Paul. 

The pack didn’t hurt Reneesme because Jacob imprinted, because killing her meant killing him.

Will her death kill Paul? 

It’s the last thing she’d want. He had a life before her, he deserves to have a life after her too. He could still find another to have the family they dreamed of. There’s no reason for him to perish with her. It would be a worse tragedy to rob the world of a soul as beautiful as Paul’s. 

Snorting, her lips spread in a grin. Once upon a time, she was so scared of the way she felt about Paul that she convinced herself he was the worst person on the face of the earth, that she cannot stand his existence, yet she can’t imagine this world without Paul. She’d gladly follow death wherever it wants to take her, as long as Paul is given a full, happy life. 

Paul hesitates before knocking on the bathroom door. He’s been sitting in front of it for nearly an hour, painfully aware of every sob that passed through her lips. She clearly didn’t want to worry him, as if she forgot he feels all her emotions too. Despite his heart aching, longing to hold her, he’ll indulge her wish to keep her sorrow hidden. He doesn’t want to intrude, choosing to stay close by in case she seeks him for comfort.

“Are you okay?” he calls out softly, knocking on the door. He heard when the water stopped running, assuming she’d be out soon, but it’s concerning how long it’s been since then. “You didn’t fall or pass out in there, did you?” Paul jokes.

Silence from the other side of the door is haunting as he leans his forehead on the door. Biting his lower lip, Paul sighs. He knocks on the door again, this time a little louder. “Please open up. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Pausing for a moment, he frowns. If they were a normal couple, perhaps he’d wait longer or he’d insist more, but they’re not. Their time is counting down to 0 a little faster and he can’t bury his head in the sand and ignore it anymore. He knows there’s no time to waste.

Slowly, he opens the door, finding Y/N leaning on the sink, her back turned to the mirror, her eyes trained on her ring. 

Without saying a word, Paul crosses the distance between them. Wrapping his arms around her in a warm embrace, he bites his tongue as the coldness of her skin reminds him of the coldness he feels when he holds her dead body in nightmares.

“I’m so sorry”, Paul whispers, his voice soothing. “I wish I never told you.”

Pulling back, she shakes her head. “I wish you told me sooner”, she says softly, her voice shaky. 

“What good would it do?” Paul raises his brows. “I know you think we could have gotten married and had kids by now, but I don’t agree.”

“You don’t?”

“No, because I knew all this time. Since the start, I’ve known and the last thing I’d want is to bring kids into this situation.” Cupping her cheek, his lips press in a thin line. “I’d love for us to have that, I would, but having kids knowing they’ll be orphaned would be cruel.”

“Stop saying that”; she says through gritted teeth. “You won’t be dying with me.”

“You don’t know that.”

“And neither do you”; she reminds him. “It’s all a guess based on no tangible proof.”

“Being away from you is hell when you’re working on calls at work. If that’s hard, I can’t imagine you dying will make me want to live.”

Closing her eyes, she exhales loudly. “That’s exactly what I’d want. I want you to live, to keep going, to fall in love, to find happiness.” Pushing at his shoulders, she huffs. “Why are you so eager to follow me into the dark?”

“Because I’d rather be in the dark with you, than alone in the light.”

Their eyes meet, a meaningful silence filling the air. They’ve been together for years now, long enough for the love between them to grow stronger, almost palpable. It is more than just an imprint bond, it’s always been more when it comes to Paul and Y/N. Even before, Paul yearned for her like a heart yearns for a beat and whether she likes to admit it or not, she needed Paul in her life like she needs oxygen to breathe. She never felt complete before letting the love she bears for him fully settle in her chest.

“I love you”, he says, his eyes never leaving hers. “There’s no world in which I’d ever fall in love with anyone else. I’ve loved you since before I knew what love is, I’ve loved you when you hated me, I’ve loved you when I hated me”, he smiles gently. “It’s always been you and no one else. I don’t think my heart’s made to love anyone but you. Whether I am forced to bear this existence without you or not doesn’t change anything. You are my source of happiness, of love, of life.”

Their eyes remain locked together, a sense of sadness and inevitability washing over them. All they can do is promise they’ll love each other fully and completely until the very end, cherish every single moment, and ignore the weight of their fate. Even beyond this lifetime, their love will last, they’ll be soulmates even in death.

“What are we going to do”, she sniffles. “If it were just me, I’d accept it. I would. But I don’t want you to die too. There has to be a way to stop this.”

And Paul knows there is…one way. He’s considered it before, though no one in the pack would agree. But, if all else fails, there’s something despicable he could resort to, but he can’t be sure what that would do.

“Maybe there is”, Paul frowns. “Do you what I told you about the Cullens?”

“You want her to be one of them”, Jacob growls out, interrupting the intimate moment. 

Standing in front of Y/N, Paul sets his glare on Jacob. “Ever heard of knocking?”

“I did”, Jacob narrows his eyes. “No one opened the door and I could hear you are home.”

“And that didn’t make you reconsider breaking in?”

“Can you stop”, Y/N’s voice is shaky, fragile. She’s using Paul as a shield, pulling at the towel tightly to cover herself. 

“He wants you to become a vampire”, Jacob raises his voice. “If there’s something worth fighting about, your humanity is certainly at the top of that list!”

“Leave”, Y/N insists. “I’m naked and cold and I need a damn minute with my fiancé, so please check on the pack first and we’ll talk later.”

With a snort, Jacob nods. Doing as Y/N requested, Jacob left Paul and Y/N alone. 

Passing by Paul, Y/N grabs a robe. Heading to the bed, she sits on her side, her eyes trained on an approaching Paul.

“Is that what you wanted to suggest?”

Nodding faintly, Paul sniffles. “Even if I failed, that could be a solid alternative.”

“You’d want me to turn into what you hunt?” Y/N grimaces. “You can’t stand the smell of vampires and I’m supposed to believe that will work fine for us?”

Swallowing thickly, Paul sits beside her. “Jacob doesn’t mind Reneesme’s smell.”

“Because he imprinted on her in that state. Our bond might never recover if I turn into a vampire. I might be nauseated by your smell or I might never be able to control my thirst enough to be there for my dad, for Embry or Quill. I’d have to leave La Push forever.”

“I’d leave with you.”

“And what about our plans to have kids? I’d never be able to give you any!”

“I don’t need kids, I need you,” Paul interjects, taking her hand in his. “That’s all I care about.”

“You say that now, but who knows how you’ll feel in the future. And how long can you even live? I know you can slow down aging, but for how long? I don’t want to live for an eternity without you!”

“Y/N”, he tries but she shakes her head.

“I don’t want to be a vampire. If I am to die, I will die as a human as I lived. Immortality doesn’t appeal to me. It’s a complication with too many variables we cannot predict and the last thing I’d ever want is to risk what we have. I don’t want to taint us or your memory of me.”

“It won’t ruin us”, Paul says quietly.

“You can’t promise me that and I don’t”, she pauses, her heart bleeding at the sight of Paul’s devastation by her response. But she can’t help but think that his idea would be their end. If she must die, at least she’ll have him in her heart and not thirst for blood and he will be her last thought, not desire to kill.

“I don’t want to be one of them. Ever.”

_______________________

Tags: @the-chaotic-cow @xxxjaexxx @captainrogers-19 @bexloxl @llovergirlll @adaydreamaway08 @sunsetevergreen @volturiwolf @twihard08 @galacticstxrdust @sorrow-and-bliss @ireadthensuetheauthors @missxmarvelous @locokoca @unstablekay @makhaia @venusdelaroix @avadakadabra93 @tearsforhan @a-marie-a @lendeluxe @seagulls-corner @jdbxws @konigslilslut @rottenstyx @itsmytimetoodream @dreamerwasfound @convolutings @rachelccollier @thingfromlove @jennyamanda8 @havecourage-darling @luvr-exe @alittlejudgemental @turningtoclown @emptydoorsandpaintedwindows​ @marvelmenarebeautiful @bringmethe-world @alitaar @sugasthreedollarkookie @chloe-skywalker @heyheyheyggg @feral-ratatattat-king @queereddie @fandomrulesall-blog @queenotaku27 @dcgoddess @lilac-crown @small-town-wayward-daughter @yourqueentp @boreddemigodd @dracoswifeandlokispet @felinegrate @savagejane1 @lunajay33 @gtfoana @hpboysslut2707 @tpwk-harry-styles @amberpanda99 @rebeccao03 

PART 25

[mariaofdoranelle]

Look at Us Now - ch. 14

Fic masterlist

Am I posting this at 4 a.m. because I left my fic half-ready and wasted hours commenting “chop chop movie boy” on TikTok? Yes, yes I am. Tomorrow (today?) is a holiday in my state so I’m fine loll

Hope you like this!

Warnings: language, postpartum depression, panic attack

Words: 6,2k

Throughout her entire pregnancy, Aelin promised herself she’d never be the type of new mom who doesn’t shower every day.

How wrong she was.

They had an appointment at the doctor in an hour and Maisie was currently on the other side of the shower’s glass door, screaming bloody murder from her baby swing as Aelin rinsed off her body as fast as she could, feeling her breasts leak because of the crying baby while her ribcage got tighter each second.

She wrapped the towel around her body while kneeling to grab her crying baby. Except that Maisie didn’t stop crying.

“Are you hungry, Mais?” Aelin felt silly sometimes when talking to her newborn, but most days her six-weeks-old baby was the only person willing to listen to her.

She didn’t bother taking her towel off before sitting to nurse her loud baby. She could barely think when Maisie was screeching like she had adult-sized lungs, let alone pick an outfit.

When the baby latched and the room got silent, Aelin felt like she could finally breathe. “You like that, huh?” She watched Maisie’s wide green eyes on her, an overwhelming feeling of emptiness taking over her. “I think your dad forgot to prep my lunch this morning, but that’s alright, because there was frozen pizza in the freezer.” Aelin gasped in the end, always keeping her tone dramatic to grab Maisie’s attention. “You can’t eat pizza yet, Mais, but you’ll love it. I hope your milk comes in pizza flavor after my lunch. You won’t know what hit you.”

After nursing and burping the baby, Aelin was well aware she had less than thirty minutes to get to the doctor. Which was why she cursed under her breath while noticing the soap around her calves she forgot to rinse off.

Aelin straightened her shoulders. No biggie. It was just some soap.

She left Maisie on her bassinet and ran to the bathroom. Wincing, she held her ankle and placed it on the sink. Not the safest option, but definitely the fastest. She opened the faucet, spreading the running water on her leg, when Maisie’s tiny wail—for now—remembered her there was no such thing as ‘just a minute’ when you’re a newborn’s mom. She leaned away just a bit, her feet still on the sink while the other supported her body, neck stretching so she could take a peek through the open door—

Aelin lost her balance, falling on her ass in the middle of her suite’s bathroom.

She winced on the floor, her hip aching from the tumble. She flexed her hands, reddened from breaking the fall, and got up. Her walk was stiff, but still enough for her to hobble towards her crying baby.

“Hey, Mais,” Aelin soothed while getting the bags they needed for their trip to the doctor—how long did they have? She opened the bedroom door—

The smell of something burnt hit her senses.

No, no, no.

She dropped their bags on the floor and ran to the kitchen, turning off the oven before she could reach a cloth to open it.

Her flat rock still resembled a pizza, but it was far from edible.

The smell must’ve gotten worse after she emptied the oven, because one moment Aelin was staring slack-jawed at her burnt lunch, and the next her baby was retching over her shoulder, smearing Aelin’s back and hair with vomit.

Her breath caught as she processed what just happened, the back of her eyes prickling while she felt a heaviness—

It was okay. She slowly sank down to the floor, never letting her baby go. Her heart was beating out of her chest, and she didn’t know if the soothing sounds she was making were for Maisie or for herself.

She barely had time to shower twice a week, let alone twice a day.

Tears streamed down Aelin’s face, but she swallowed down the sob that was begging to break free. Instead, she clutched Maisie to her chest and breathed in.

It wasn’t the first time she got covered in baby vomit, nor would it be the last.

Breathe out.

She could do this.

Breathe in.

With shaky hands, she took her dirty shirt off.

Breathe out.

Aelin’s stomach churned, and she felt like she might throw up herself. But the kitchen cloth was still near her, so she swallowed her feelings down and used it to wipe the vomit off her hair.

Breathe in.

From the kitchen floor, it felt like the cabinet and counter were closing in on her.

Breathe out.

She would not have a meltdown in front of her baby.

Aelin took her phone, fingers trembling as she dialed the only number she could think of.

“Aelin! I wasn’t expecting to hear from you now. Is everything alright, dear?”

“Philippa.” Aelin’s voice was wobbly, but the older woman’s warm tone was enough to make a small part of her body loosen up. “Do you have any leftovers I can eat now?”

“There’s lasagna in the fridge, and…” A pause. “Honey, it’s mid-afternoon. When was the last time you ate?”

“Lasagna sounds perfect.” Aelin’s voice cracked in the end. “When can I pick it up?”

“Um.” The background noise was pretty indistinct, with the exception of a door closing. “Why don’t I hand it to you instead? I could also see what I can do with that empty fridge of yours.”

“Thanks,” Aelin said before ending the call. Still seated on the floor, she leaned against the cabinet, her head drooping against it.

Aelin didn’t remember a lot about her parents, but she remembered how they always looked like this strong, unbreakable unit, ready to catch her fall. She could deal with the exhaustion and constantly feeling like she’s on the verge of breaking down. The thing that was hard to grasp was how powerless she felt. Worthless.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” Aelin’s chin quivered while she stroked Maisie’s cheek with her thumb. “You deserve so much better than this.”

Me was the word Aelin couldn’t say, but never left her mind. Maisie deserved so much better than a mom who never got things right and was sad all the time.

She was feeling so much and at the same time nothing at all, as if she was a hollowed out tree about to break down. Too much to carry, not enough strength. Aelin clutched her daughter against her chest and let that sob break free, its force enough to shake her from the inside out, from her straining heart to her quaking shoulders.

Taking a moment to breathe, Aelin was finally calming herself down. She could weep and feel the pain, but she would not collapse. Not with Maisie. Aelin was doing this for her, with her.

And that’s how Philippa found her, perched on the floor and holding her baby like she was her lifeline.

“Come on, honey, get up,” the soft, familiar voice came from near her, its source kneeling beside her and gently reaching for her shoulder.

“Shh.” Philippa kissed the crown of Aelin’s head, then winced at the smell of vomit. “We need lasagna, a new shirt, baby wipes for the hair. What else?”

“I have a hair tie in my bag, I think that’s all.” Aelin slowly got up, her hip still sore from when she fell in the bathroom. “I have an appointment at four, Rowan will be here any time now.”

”Honey, it’s ten past four.”

“No, it’s not.”

Aelin froze. Her heart had barely rested, it was already going a mile a minute again. She ran past Philippa, put on the first shirt and shoes she saw—Rowan’s White Hawks jersey and those damned Crocs—and grabbed her car keys. Knowing how the Air Force hospital worked, if she missed this appointment, her next one would be only when Maisie was eighteen.

“Wait!” Philippa shouted, running her way. “I’ll drive.”

Aelin’s shoulders dropped when she saw the baby wipes and lunchbox on the woman’s hand and realized her intentions. “You’re an angel.”

Before fastening Maisie to her car seat, Aelin looked straight into the little girl’s eye and said, “Don’t poop.”

She rushed to the passenger seat and was cleaning her hair as much as she could with the baby wipes before Philippa could even get out of the garage.

”Where’s Rowan?” the older woman asked.

“He was supposed to go to the appointment with me, I think he got stuck at work.”

It was unusual of him to miss something like this. Aelin didn’t know what to think, and she didn’t have much space in her mind for that right now.

With a tight jaw, Philippa hummed, and her tone revealed everything she was thinking. Aelin couldn’t blame the woman, but she didn’t agree either. This was just one mistake, Rowan was incredible with Maisie. And about him with Aelin… she wasn’t sure where she fit into his life, and sometimes she didn’t want to know.

They hadn’t been the same, and that was predictable. There was no reason to be sad. Rowan was all loving and attentive towards her because his baby was inside her. Now that she wasn’t carrying Maisie anymore, they were the platonic co-parents they agreed to be. Aelin’s throat was as thick as her chest was heavy every time she thought about this. She couldn’t blame him. If roles were reversed, she wouldn’t get anywhere near herself either.

Satisfied with her work on her hair, she tied it into a bun and opened the lunchbox. Aelin swallowed down all the lasagna she could before Philippa parked at the hospital, which was five minutes away from her home.

“I’ll go back to your place and see what I can do in that kitchen, okay? Call me if you need me to pick you up.”

She wrapped her arms around Philippa, hugging her with all the strength she could muster right now. “Thank you.”

On her way to the office, she managed to avoid co-workers seeing her in that disheveled state and texted Rowan.

Aelin: hey

Aelin: i’m at the hospital already

Aelin: what happened?

No response.

”Dr. Galathynius!” The sergeant responsible for Sorscha’s schedule sighed in relief. “I was about to send another patient in.”

She hurried inside the office, only relaxing when her doctor started the examination. Aelin still wasn’t used to seeing her co-workers checking her vagina and everything postpartum-related, but the Air Force’s healthcare was good enough to make her put up with it.

Her pelvic floor seemed okay, though. So did her posture—something Aelin took particular pride in, being an orthopedist. Her abdominal muscles weren’t as good, but that was easy to deal with.

“You lost more weight than I expected.” Sorscha frowned. “How’s your appetite since giving birth?”

“I don’t have much of an appetite anymore, but I still feel hungry when I should.”

The doctor’s attention was fully on Aelin now. “And how have you been feeling emotionally?”

“Good. Just a little tired,” she lied. Medical confidentiality vow or not, Aelin knew how stigma worked. She knew better than to tell a coworker that one of the hospital’s top surgeons was mentally ill.

Besides, Aelin was a doctor herself, she knew how this went. Major Depressive Disorder. In remission and off antidepressants for two years. Relapsed with postpartum depression after childbirth. The words were buzzing around her head like an annoying fly, but they wouldn’t leave, no matter how much she swatted them away.

Maybe it was time to un-ghost her psychiatrist.

~~

When she left the office, Aelin had her purse and a giant diaper bag under her arms, plus Maisie strapped to a baby sling on her chest, but she still walked past a dejected-looking Rowan on her way out. He got up in a heartbeat and hurried to match her steps.

“I’m sorry.”

He held out a hand, but she didn’t give him the diaper bag.

“I know you are,” Aelin said in a carefully neutral tone.

“Can you at least give me the bags?”

She ignored Rowan’s request and stormed off in front of him.

His car was right by the exit, and as stubborn as she was, Aelin wasn’t going to disturb Philippa further and ask the woman to pick her up as she suggested.

Aelin wasn’t in the right mind to decide if her reaction was proportional or not to what Rowan did, but given the emotional distress she was already in, it probably wasn’t.

Rowan’s thoughts on how rational Aelin was being was the least of her concerns today.

“One of the majors called me for a last-minute meeting. I tried to be quick.”

But I couldn’t leave because they outrank me were the words he didn’t say.

“I can still be mad about it, your fault or not.”

“I’m so—“

“Stop it, Rowan.”

He darted a glance at her, and something about her face made him stay silent for the rest of the drive.

At home, Rowan dropped her bags by the door—she had calmed down enough to let him carry them this time—and her shoulders relaxed considerably when sat on the couch and took Maisie off the sling.

“Oh, that doesn’t smell good.” Aelin cooed, smiling at the baby and tickling her little belly.

“I’ve got her.” Rowan held Maisie up with a small smile, not even sparing Aelin a glance. “You can take a shower in the meantime.”

She grimaced, her face hotter by the second. Way to go, Aelin. Was she still smelling like vomit?

“Not like that!” He blurted. “I know you’re struggling to take showers—“

“Good to know it’s that obvious,” Aelin scoffed, getting up from the couch.

”I’m sorry—“

“I know you are, stop telling me that!” Her voice came out higher than intended while she left for the kitchen.

Rowan finally got home and was assured that Aelin managed to not kill his baby. It’s not like he needed her for the rest of the day.

The kitchen was a lot cleaner than before, and there was a note attached to the fridge.

I made you chicken, chickpea salad and chocolate cake, but I’d suggest you to save it for tomorrow’s lunch. Make sure your baby daddy doesn’t forget to make dinner as well.

Love,

Philippa.

P.S: Please call me if you need anything. Your uncle’s gay ass can take of himself.

Aelin leaned against the counter, her body filling with warmth. God, she loved Philippa. And as much as she appreciated the woman’s kindness, her job was to help Orlon and Darrow at home, not Aelin.

Still, it was really nice to have some time to breathe during the day, not only in the few hours when Rowan got back from work.

“What’s that?” He stopped in front of the fridge, frowning as he read Philippa’s note. “I didn’t forget to make your lunch.”

Rowan scratched his jaw and opened the fridge. Aelin drew out a long, tired breath. She wouldn’t even bother enlightening him, he’d soon realize what happened and—

”Aelin, I’m so sorry.”

She rested her head in both hands and dragged them through her hair. There wasn’t a bone in her body that didn’t feel heavy, and her eyelids were the heaviest sometimes. She was so fucking tired.

Aelin crossed her arms. “You fucked up. I fucked up twice as much today. Can you please stop apologizing?”

He took her fingers with the tips of his, fiddling with them. “I was taking care of some things for Maisie so you could sleep more and forgot to make food.”

Aelin nodded, something inside her loosening an inch. When he put it that way, it didn’t sound half as bad.

“Well…” Aelin trailed, knowing she needed to thread carefully with this. “since we’re both so tired, maybe we could get an extra set of hands.”

“Like a nanny?”

She shrugged. “Could be, yes.”

Rowan frowned, crossing his arms. “I don’t know how I feel about this.”

“I can pay for it by myself,” Aelin explained in a calm, firm tone. “I just need to see if you’re okay with it.”

“Aelin, I—“ His mouth opened and closed. “I’m not. It’s a stranger. Do we know anything about them? Do we know how they’d handle Maisie?”

Her eyebrows went up. “You wanna know what happens every second of Maisie’s life?”

“No, but how am I supposed to trust her with someone else before she can tell me if something bad happened?”

“Rowan, I’m going back to work!” Aelin yelled, then stopped when she registered his shellshocked face, in need to rephrase it. “My maternity leave is only so long. We’ll need to trust people sooner or later. And I’ll still be with Maisie the whole day for now. It’s just additional help.”

“Okay, this sounds better.” Rowan looked down, his lips and brows drawn together. Then he shook his head and said, “I still don’t get what’s going on. Every day I come home and you tell me everything went fine, but today we need a sitter all of a sudden.”

“I’m alone in this house with a newborn baby, that’s what’s going on!” Aelin yelled, her chest tighter each word. “You wouldn’t know that because I’m your extra pair of hands when you’re with her, but what about me?”

“You want to trade places? I’d do it id I could.” Rowan let out a scornful laugh, his expression sour with that tight jaw. “You think I wouldn’t love to be paid to take care of Maisie every day? You think I’d rather bark orders at the new recruits instead of staying in with you two? You’re living the dream, Aelin, and you have no idea how lucky you are.”

Very lucky indeed.

She took a step back, feeling dizzy all of a sudden as his words sank in. Caring for a baby is hard, Aelin always knew that. She wasn’t really sure about getting extra help, hence why she started a conversation instead of voicing a demand, but did he mean that? Was she ungrateful for asking for help?

“I didn’t mean to snap at you.” He rubbed his hand against his face. “I’m sorry.”

She closed her eyes, her hands balled into fists. “For the last time, Rowan, stop saying that.”

“But I’m—“

“No, you’re right.” Aelin gave him a taut, sardonic smile. “I’m living the dream.”

˜˜

On her first day at the Whitethorn’s beach house, Aelin woke up with a brutal kick from her sweet baby. The little girl was taking way more space on the bed than she should, leaving Rowan’s hulky figure squeezed in the corner, and Aelin wondered how could Maisie toss and turn so much and sleep like the dead at the same time.

Aelin sat on the bed and opened the bedside table’s drawer, taking out the pill organizer she left there the night before. Of all the ways she came up with to take her morning meds unnoticed, none of them involved sharing a bedroom.

Peeking back at the bed, Maisie and Rowan were still sound asleep, and Aelin wouldn’t dare waking up the family’s monarch and her tired Groom of the Stool. She turned back and twisted off her bottle’s cap—

“What’s that?”

Aelin jerked and clutched her water bottle to her chest on reflex, highly aware of her wild heartbeat. Rowan’s husky morning voice would normally make her melt, but these two words held a cold grip around her core, making her breath and body freeze.

From the other end of the bed, Rowan’s half-lidded eyes never left her pill organizer. “What’s that?”

“Headache,” she blurted, then cleared her throat. “they’re headache tablets.”

“Oh. Go on.” Rowan blinked, not fully awake yet, and relaxed back on the bed. “You better be feeling good if you want to keep up with the little terrors.”

Aelin plastered a smile, her chest heavy with the lie, and quickly took her antidepressant.

She’d tell him. But not after being “caught” or with Maisie asleep between them.

Rowan got up, accidentally waking up Maisie, who was clutching him like a koala.

“No,” the little girl protested, draping an arm across her dad’s torso as an attempt to keep him in bed.

“Come on, Mais.” He kissed his daughter’s forehead and gently disentangled her from him. “Time to wake up. Enjoy the day.”

Maisie frowned. “What about my time in bed?”

Aelin laid back in back and spooned the little girl. “Honey, you just spent hours in bed.”

“Yeah, but I don’t remember that!”

Rowan chuckled and relented, laying again so they could all share one big family cuddle, but not without saying, “We’ll have to go downstairs to eat at some point.”

Maisie shushed her dad. “Our bellies will know when it’s time.”

˜˜

When Rowan’s mom proposed a relaxing trip, what Aelin pictured was very close to the real thing. They decided to stay in today because the beach would be too crowded, but she was currently lying on a pool chair, getting a tan next to Sellene while nibbling some grilled snacks and watching the kids play. Perfect vacation activity. However, she was unsure of how relaxing Rowan was finding this.

The thing is, Rowan only had two modes as a dad: granting Maisie’s every wish, or completely inflexible, safety-freak dadzilla.

He rightfully insisted that Maisie’s swimwear should be only on bright, neon colors so they wouldn’t lose sight of her in the pool. However, Aelin could barely see the cute one piece she picked for their daughter under the rash guard, arm floaties and life jacket Rowan made her wear.

Aelin shouldn’t find his heightened concern endearing, but it was kinda cute to see Maisie under so many layers. It was like Aelin birthed a Michelin Man.

For now, she was letting him be. God, Doranelle was so hot today it made her shiver. Even Rowan was visibly struggling with it, with his tanned collarbones and pecs glistening with sweat.

He was holding his phone on the edge of the pool—not reading or scrolling, because he was watching the kids play, scanning their every move like a hawk. With the sun hitting him sideways, partially illuminating his face and the ridges of his abs, he looked like a piece of art. She licked her lips. Hot dilf trying to keep untamable kids alive, the museum label would say. But Aelin’s vision of him was so breakable she was afraid this scorching weather would melt it. Or maybe she was the one melting.

”You’re such a great friend.”

Aelin startled, her breath catching, but she quickly recomposed herself and gave Sellene a close-lipped smile. For a moment, she forgot the woman was getting a tan in the pool chair next to hers.

“Thanks, Sel. You too.”

Her eyes quickly found Rowan’s abs again—

Sellene cleared her throat.

Aelin squinted at her friend. “You’re being weird today.”

Rowan’s cousin snorted. “The usual girl code says you can’t try anything with your friend’s family member.” Sellene waved her hand at Rowan’s general direction. “But you clearly have the hots for my cousin, so I’m letting you off the hook.”

Aelin threw her head back and cackled. “Thank you, Sellene, for making such sacrifices. But I don’t need the reminder of how attracted to your cousin I am.” She put her sunglasses on. “I don’t know what gave me away. Was it when he knocked me up?”

“I was actually talking about your gross ogling, but your baby is good evidence too.”

Aelin gaped, and it took her a good few seconds to regain her jaw movements. “It wasn’t that obvious.”

Rowan’s cousin chuckled and went to the other side of the pool area, where he was with the kids. Aelin followed suit.

“I’m done tanning, let me stay with them.” Sellene placed both hands on her hips. “It’s time for these kids to have some fun.”

Rowan frowned. “I’m fun.”

“You’re watching them like they’re prisoners.”

”Pools are dangerous. Keeping everything under control is more effective if I stay outside and don’t engage.”

Aelin snorted. That sounded a lot like what happens in a prison yard.

“Let’s play Marco Polo!” Sellene shouted, dragging the last word while cannonballing into the pool.

“Seriously?” Rowan yelled when his cousin emerged. “Is that how you’re keeping an eye on them? With your eyes closed?”

“Daddy, you’re boring!”

Aelin squeezed Rowan’s shoulder. “I can watch them with Sel.”

“No!” Sellene blurted, then held a finger up and turned around. “ENDA!” She called her cousin, who was sitting near the grill with his husband, Ellys and Rowan’s parents. “Get your… butt over here.”

The younger married couple moved closer to the pool and agreed to keep an eye at the kids, and the other ones said they’d sit closer when the snacks were fully grilled.

“The little terrors are outnumbered.” Sellene gave her cousin a pointed look. “Happy now?”

He squinted his eyes at her. “Call me if you need anything.”

Before he could rethink his decision, Aelin took him by the arm. But before they could get to where she wanted, she grabbed his shirt from a chair’s backrest and silently extended her arm.

“What?”

Aelin wiggled the shirt his way. “Pool time’s over. You can get dressed now.”

If Rowan had any thoughts about her demanding he puts a shirt on while not wearing one, just her swimsuit, he didn’t say. He snorted and shook his head, but complied.

In an area close enough to the pool, on the side of the house, there was a small garden with patio furniture and a pool table. However, Rowan lied on a white hammock that was tied in the pergola, under its climbing vines.

Aelin held a bit of the hammock and bumped him with her knee once he got settled. Rowan’s eyes widened, but he quickly concealed his surprised and moved sideways so she could join him.

She spooned him on the hammock, her every inch glued to his. “Hi.”

He brushed a wild strand of hair off her face and whispered, “Hi.”

Aelin tightened her grip on him and hid her face on his shoulder and collarbone, closing her eyes. Taking in the sound of the wind against the vines, especially how it soothed her heated skin. She loved how Rowan smelled like his pine soap and Maisie’s sunscreen and something intrinsically his, and how engulfed by it she felt now, tangled in his arms. Listening to his heartbeat, Aelin could only hope she had even a small influence on the pace of its beat.

She opened her eyes again with Rowan’s caresses on her hair. His eyes were soft, glowing, and he was wearing a small, silly smile that got less rare each day, but never enough to make her stop savoring it.

“I like your nose,” Aelin muttered while bumping it with her index finger.

“Thanks.” Rowan crossed his eyes, as if that would help him look at it. “It breathes alright.”

“What kind of response is that?” Aelin chuckled, because of course the only way Rowan would think about his nose was for its practical function.

“Sorry,” he shook his head, as if chastising himself for something. “You look cute with burnt cheeks.”

Aelin laughed, hiding her face on the curve of his shoulder. “I wasn’t fishing for a compliment, I was joking about your reply.”

“Oh, okay.” The tension on his body loosened. “I still stand by what I said.” A pause. “There’s this drawing on my wall where Maisie put you with two giant, bright red dots as the cheeks.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I didn’t think you could actually look like that back then.”

Aelin gaped, feeling her face grow hot and likely worsening her situation. “Rude!”

“Not at all.” Rowan’s fond grin lit up his face. “You look lovely with a first-degree burn.” A pause charged enough to make him frown. “When was the last time you reapplied your sunscreen?”

Busted. She bit her bottom lip and gave him a coy look, making Rowan’s expression become fondly exasperated.

“I’ll be right back.”

Rowan was back in a matter of seconds, lying by her side with a tube of sunscreen on his hand.

“In my defense, I did apply it. At some point. I just forgot to do it again.”

He shook his head, but that poorly hidden close-lipped smile betrayed his display of disapproval. When Rowan lifted his hand, she grasped his wrist to look at the bottle of sunscreen he was holding.

Which was for kids, but not the super expensive one Aelin bought because of her dermatologist’s recommendation.

“Rowan…” she cautioned. He knew damn well what she was thinking.

He had the gall to duck his head. “Maisie didn’t like the sunscreen’s smell, so I got this one that smells like grapes.”

“You’re spoiling her rotten,” Aelin said in a playful tone.

Rowan grimaced. “I’m painfully aware of that.”

She relaxed back in the hammock, put a small amount of sunscreen on her finger and smelled it with her eyes closed. While she was feeling the synthetic aroma of grapes, Rowan swiftly grabbed her finger and smeared that drop of sunscreen on her nose.

Aelin squealed, surprise by the gentle attack, but closed her eyes and let him spread that amount. Rowan applied sunscreen on her face, his touch feather-light against her forehead, nose, cheeks. She just hoped he didn’t notice how her breath hitched when his thumb reached her chin—especially the patch of skin under her parted lips.

With her eyes closed, Aelin smiled. “This smells great. I kinda get the appeal now.”

Rowan hummed and leaned closer, his nose brushing against her cheek as he breathed her in. “Agreed.”

That motion alone sent Aelin’s nerves into a frenzy, making everywhere he touched tingle and sending that feeling down her spine. Her fingers were shaky, aching to meet him, so they found his upper arm like a magnet.

The second she touched him, Rowan tilted his head and kissed her jaw. All her thoughts vanished, and now Aelin knew nothing more than his weight against her pounding heartbeat, and her hand sliding to his neck.

Rowan trailed a couple of kisses down her apple cheeks, every movement a calculated conversation, each seeing how far they can go. Aelin’s blood was boiling under her skin, her stomach a fluttering mess with anticipation. It only got worse when he kissed the corner of her lips and froze over her.

Do it, her impatient fingertips informed the roots of his hair.

He tilted his face, his breath mingling with hers as he slowly lowered his lips to hers—

“UNCLE RO! AUNTIE—“

Aelin jerked upright, making both of them tumble over the hammock.

Aidan, Enda’s son, squinted his eyes at Aelin and Rowan, fallen on the grass. “You okay?”

Rowan frowned back at the boy. “Why are you here?”

“I don’t know, Grandpa told me to get you two.” The boy mentioned for them to follow him. “Come on.”

Aelin got up, her heartbeat still going a mile a minute with that scare, shook some grass off her leg and held Rowan’s wrist. As they walked back to the pool area, he slipped his hand so it could hold hers, intertwining their fingers.

They hurried their footsteps when Maisie was on their sight, the little girl being watched by lots of adults with pine-green eyes and silver hair.

”What’s going on?” Rowan asked as soon as he was within earshot.

Maisie had an angry pout on. “I asked Grandpa why his black shirt says pink, and now everyone’s being weird.”

Seriously? They got interrupted because of that? Aelin turned to Rowan, but he was frozen in place, blinking at Maisie. Probably as shocked and outraged as she was. So she explained, “It’s a band t-shirt, Mais. It’s not about the color, Pink Floyd is a group formed by those guys here…” she pointed at Owen’s shirt and—

Holy rutting Mala. A sudden cold rushed through Aelin’s body, her mouth falling open.

“Maisie,” Aelin’s hands gripped her daughter’s shoulders, maintaining firm eye contact. “honey, did you just read your grandpa’s shirt?”

“Not like that!” The little girl crossed her arms and explained in a matter-of-fact tone, “I thought Grandpa’s shirt was funny, so I put the letters together to know what it means.”

”Oh! Okay, then.” A warm, weepy laugh left Aelin’s mouth as she squeezed her daughter into a hug and smacked a kiss on her little cheek. “Well, I love it when you do that.”

Aelin’s mind couldn’t help but go back to that fateful day when Maisie’s teacher called them on a meeting to tell them Maisie couldn’t learn how to read because her parents fought too much. Well, a huge fuck you to that… teacher who was just doing her job. Aelin made a mental note to tell that progress to her therapist and focused back on Maisie, the smartest little girl on the planet.

She was so proud of her daughter she could cry, and Rowan looked like he felt the same, watching them with sparkly eyes and a small smile.

By the looks of it, they were doing a good job.

˜˜˜

“Come on!” Aelin shouted, slamming her cards against the table when she lost once again.

Ellys smirked at the deck he had just began to shuffle. “I expected better from you, Aelin.”

She squinted her eyes at the old man. He was just a quieter version of Sellene, because their unfunny remarks were just the same. Tired of having her ego being so blatantly bruised, she got up from that humiliation.

“Being a sore loser, huh,” Sellene said in a teasing tone.

Aelin raised her eyebrows and teased, “I have a daughter to look after.”

The snarky joke made her friend gape. “Rude!”

She squeezed Sellene’s shoulder and left. Truth was, Maisie was very safe and happy being watched by her grandparents, especially if she considered how far away they lived from each other. The person she was looking for now was Rowan.

Rowan, who she almost kissed earlier today. Aelin felt a rush through her body just to think of what almost happened, and that thrill only intensified when she considered what still could happen. Tonight, if she played her cards right.

“Mommy, where are you going so fast?”

Aelin stopped dead on her tracks. On her way to the second floor, she hadn’t even noticed Maisie, Bree and Rory in the living room.

Her mouth opened and closed before she regained her jaw movements, “I was looking for you, Mais!” Aelin walked their way and played with Maisie’s pigtails. “I thought you were with your dad,” she lied.

Maisie somberly shook her head. “Daddy’s sick.”

“He had a headache and went upstairs,” Rory said around a smile. Aelin nodded and took a step back, but the older woman added, “You don’t need to worry about Maisie, I’d watch her the whole week if you two would ever let me.”

Whenever Aelin thought she was used to Rory’s lack of subtlety, the woman struck again, making her cheeks heat one more.

Aelin plastered a polite thanks-for-offering-to-watch-the-kid-while-we-fuck-I’m-kinda-hoping-that-will-actually-happen smile. “That won’t be necessary, Rory. Thanks.”

She ascended the stairs one by one since Rowan’s mom could still see her, and only hurried her footsteps on their room’s hallway. When she opened the door, Rowan was sat on the end of the bed.

He blinked, raising his eyebrows as if he needed them that high to keep his eyes opened. Then he got up to greet her, but swayed on his way up.

“Whoa.” Aelin ran his way and made him sit back down. “What’s going on?”

Rowan rubbed his face, his posture slumped. “I have weirdness and a headache.”

Aelin tilted her head, thankful med school taught her how to translate incomprehensible things patients said. He looked groggy, and was probably dizzy, from the way he got up a minute ago. She’d fish for more information, but that was a good starting point.

”Okay,” she trailed, “did you take anything for the headache?”

“I took your migraine pill, but it didn’t do anything.”

Aelin froze, a sinking feeling in her stomach as her limbs went numb.

”You took my what?” Her voice was shaky, the last word high-pitched.

“Here.” Rowan opened the bedside table’s drawer and took her pill case while fighting his heavy eyelids. “Some of them were in a compartment with the sun drawing, but I took one from under the moon drawing because it’s evening.”

Aelin took the case from his hands, and it was really easy to spot the missing pill there.

“Did I take the wrong one?”

“Yes, but you‘ll be fine.” Aelin adjusted the pillows and mentioned for him to lie down. ”You just need to sleep it off now, okay? Don’t fight it.”

Rowan’s eyes closed when she combed his hair with her fingers, but he forced them open again. “I don’t get it.”

Aelin stroked the side of his face with her thumb, watching him fight his synthetic exhaustion with immeasurable tightness in her chest and throat.

“Rowan, you took my sleeping pill.”

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[icrypop]

*crawls out of a dusty vent*

COUGH COUGH- hi so I am here for a yandere sbg x reader story 😃

Kk so here: reader and the yandere group are in their room when the group is on one of their rapacious again and their not in the phantom realm reader has a thing were she would just softly massage their head with their soft and warms hands to soften them up like cats and after cuddle them singing to them and after reader does this the whole facility is FLABBERGASTED how they folded THAT fast I mean they have like hearts in their eyes lovesick even the parents are a little impressed at how reader dealt with them🤭

Anyways that all I got 😃🥲 srry if long 😔

Warm hands, Soft Touches

Yandere! SBG gang x Fem! Reader

This concept was literally so adorable :') I love them. Slowly working through these I promise! Enjoy!

-Writer Icy<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Warm Hands, Soft Hearts

The air in your room was heavy with tension. The gang—Ashlynn, Tyler, Taylor, Aiden, Ben, and Logan—sat scattered on the floor and bed, their expressions sharp and ravenous as their usual obsessive tendencies simmered just beneath the surface. They were spiraling again, each one trying to find a way to claim you entirely for themselves.

Ashlynn tapped her nails against her phone screen, pretending to scroll through pictures of you she’d secretly taken. Tyler’s foot tapped an impatient rhythm, his jaw clenched. Taylor leaned against your desk, arms crossed as her eyes wandered around, staring at anyone who dared to sit too close to you. Aiden was quiet but had that dangerously calm look in his eyes, his hands gripping his sleeves as he sat on the floor, back against the bed. Logan fidgeted with a pen, scribbling words you couldn't quite see at your desk, and Ben just sat against the wall across from Aiden, cold and brooding, his eyes tracking your every move.

"Guys," you said softly, breaking the suffocating silence. "You’re all worked up again. It’s too much."

You could see their reactions shift—some looking sheepish, others doubling down on their intensity. Tyler scoffed under his breath.

"Worked up?" Tyler muttered darkly. "You have no idea."

Instead of snapping back or letting their energy overwhelm you, you did what always worked. You sighed softly and knelt on the bed, gesturing for Ashlynn to come closer.

“Come here,” you murmured.

She blinked, stunned, before obediently sliding to sit cross-legged in front of you. Slowly, you reached out and placed your warm hands on her head, your thumbs pressing gently into her temples.

Ashlynn’s body instantly relaxed, her shoulders dropping as you worked small, soothing circles into her scalp. Her breathing slowed, her lips parting slightly. “Oh…” she whispered, her voice almost dreamy.

"Who's next?" you asked softly, glancing around the room.

Logan was the first to break, his face flushing red as he practically stumbled forward to take Ashlynn's spot. Your hands worked their magic, brushing through his hair with a calm tenderness that made him melt like butter. He let out a soft sigh, his usual sharp demeanor crumbling.

One by one, they all caved.

Tyler leaned into your hands with a groan, muttering something about how "this doesn't change anything," though the hearts practically spinning in his eyes said otherwise. Aiden, who rarely showed much vulnerability, closed his eyes and let himself sink into your touch, looking like he’d just been given a taste of heaven.

When you got to Taylor, she rested her forehead against your shoulder as you worked, her quiet, lovesick smile hidden from everyone else. Ben was the last to come forward, looking slightly tense and agitated. Yet when your fingers slid into his hair, his icy exterior melted entirely, and he leaned so far into your hands he nearly toppled over.

When they were all sufficiently relaxed, you slid back onto the bed and spread your arms. "Okay, now all of you come here."

They didn’t hesitate.

Ashlynn and Taylor were the first to cuddle up against you, each clinging to your sides. Ben sprawled across the foot of the bed, his head resting against your leg, while Aiden curled up by your other side, his face buried in your shoulder. Tyler nestled against your back, and even Logan found a spot, tucking himself awkwardly against the headboard but keeping his hand resting possessively on yours.

As you softly sang a calming tune, your fingers tracing soothing patterns on their backs or across their necks and cheeks, they all sank deeper into the warmth you provided. Their usual intensity had dulled, replaced by a lovesick haze as they clung to you like you were their lifeline.

Downstairs, the parents were sitting in the living room, their usual tense discussions about controlling their kids’ obsessions on pause. Ashlynn's dad, Mike, had gone upstairs to check on the commotion but hadn’t returned, which only made them more curious.

When they finally crept upstairs and peeked into your room, they froze.

The gang—usually impossible to manage, fiery, possessive, and combative—lay bundled up around you like sleepy kittens. Ben, who normally never relaxed, looked completely at peace. Ashlynn had a soft, blissful smile, her head resting on your shoulder. Even Tyler, the most stubborn of the group, looked vulnerable as he held your hand.

Mike turned to the parents, his eyebrows raised. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

The parents exchanged glances, equal parts flabbergasted and impressed.

"How… how did they do that?" one of them whispered.

"Must be magic," Mike murmured, his lips twitching into an amused smile. “Or they’re just that good.”

From that day forward, none of them questioned your methods again. If you could tame their wild, lovesick kids with just your hands and a song, who were they to interfere?

[moo-blogging]

Hey! How are you? 💛 wanna write about comforting Levi after a nightmare or an expedition gone sideways? I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort 🥺

Late night (hurt/comfort) thoughts #110:

It was too fast. It came too fast from your right. An abnormal titan grabbed your horse and you almost fell off. Panicking, you grabbed the wrong smoke gun from the bag hanging on your horse. You shot it on the titan instead. It angered the titan and it squeezed your horse too hard your horse's neck broke in its fist. By then, you grabbed the right colour and fired it onto the sky. The loud bang angered the titan and it threw the horse into a lake nearby, with you along on the horse.

You felt a strong grip around your neck and oxygen was cut off. Gasping for air but mouthful of water gushed into your throat instead. Fear started to kick in as you pulled on the horse lead rope around your neck. You tried to yank it free but your horse was dead and it was sinking fast, and you were sinking with him. Your lungs burnt with pain as water filled your lungs instead of the air they craved.

You watched as you sank further away from the light. All you could think of was Levi. You could see him waking up next to you. The way his brows tightened before he opened his eyes, and how they lit up as his whispered a 'morning, love' with his sleepy deep voice. It was your day off but Levi was used to waking up early so you laid together just grinning sheepishly at each other and waiting for the sun to rise.

You felt heavy and slowly your eyes closed...

.

When Levi heard the first shot of smoke gun, he was looking frantically at the direction it came from. He memorised your position in the scouting formation and he, although desperately hoping it wasn't you, certain it was you. And then he heard the second gun shot. Before he could see the black smoke, he was already riding toward you after yelling at his team to carry forward. He knew Erwin's orders in not engaging in any titans unless necessary. You were his necessity.

He cursed under his breath how far you were stationed away from him. He knew your ability to fend for yourself, he trained you enough to know you can fend for yourself and even protect others. He only agreed to having you being stationed alone because you were not in the furthest out. But accidents happened.

When he reached the smoke location, the couple of scouts behind you had caught up to your position and was attacking the abnormal titan.

"Stand back!" Levi yelled at them as he leaped from his horse and sliced the left cheek of the titan. Turning its head, Levi flew above it and sliced its nape. The titan was down within seconds.

"Where is y/n?! Where is y/n?!" He yelled at the stunned scouts. They shook and said they never saw you.

No, Levi thought, no, this can't be.

He scanned around, taking every drop of blood on the grass in and analysing. He saw a pool of blood a few meters away from the titan's steaming body and the empty guns your fired. The blood then dripped towards his left, each drop further to one another as it went. Following the blood trail, he saw a deep red in the middle of a lake. Without a second of hesitation, he jumped into the lake.

Pushing the dark water behind him, he swam deeper and deeper. Please please please please please, he prayed. He was too afraid to find out what was under the lake. His heart sank as soon as he saw a glitter among the darkness. Your mother's necklace. He swam harder and your ghostly face appeared before him. Grabbing the back of your neck, he felt the ropes immediately. He tried to pull at it but he saw your headless horse. He pulled out his knife from his back pocket and cut the rope, dragging you to the surface as soon as the rope snapped.

Dropping you onto the grass, Levi blew air into your mouth and pushed his palms onto your chest. "Breathe, y/n! Breathe! Please, breathe!" Levi begged. After 30 compressions, he blew into your mouth again. Pumping on your chest, your face blurred as his eyes were filled with lake water and tears. After another 30 compressions, he blew into your mouth again, this time he cried out in desperation.

"No, no, please, y/n, please," Levi started sobbing, "no, come back.. Come back to me, y/n.."

Just then your body jerked forward and you vomited a mouthful of water. Your throat burned as you coughed the last bitter water out of your lungs. You were squeezed between Levi's arms and you felt him shaking. You lifted your arm weakly and rested on his back. The field was silent except for Levi's wailing.

.

That night at camp, lying in the same sleeping bag, Levi held you underneath him as if he was trying to physically shield you from all harms. This was the first time Levi openly held you for so long. He couldn't stop caressing your hair and touching your heart, convincing himself you came back to him.

Tilting your head, you kissed his cheek softly. He snuggled closer, pushing his cheek to your forehead.

Inhaling your hair, Levi then exhaled in relief. He asked for the millionth time, "promise me you will never ever leave me."

Turning your face to fit on his neck, you whispered, "I promise," for the millionth time.

~ Thank you thank you thank you so so much for sending in a request. I feel so much better after I wrote this and I can't wait to write more during the weekends! I do enjoy writing hurt/comfort fics too and I almost forgot that feeling. Thank you so much for bringing it back, I do hope you enjoy it ~

wait, is this angst? or hurt? or both? but definitely comfort :)

[graff1980]

I yearn to breathe free in an actual democracy, instead of this plutocracy we all call capitalism. This isn’t your usual friendly musical melody, this is a calamity, where they set the mad men free to run the whole city straight into our sewer system, got citizen coughing and spitting up the sewage they live in, eating their own garbage because small men with large pockets convinced regular human beings that being poisoned is the morally just thing, and bootstraps never snap, as adolescents are strapped with a gat, and a heavy backpack, loaded up like spoiling sardines in a tin can flying machine, then dropped off places where they never should have been. The affluent people on T.V. take their scripts from the rich, stick to the Orwellian switch, and twist reality into its own sick spin distorted pin wheel that makes men mentally ill. They swim in dough, but flatten any lumpy chumps with a rolling pin, got cops rolling up the sidewalks as they stalk your kin, and convict your friends with more melanin for the crime of existing. The truth is here, and if you listen you will hear it in my lyrics, because I preach like a poet cleric, expose what should be cherished, and what dark parts of our soiled hearts should perish. I got the blood flow to expel the toxic clots that grow as my precise language keeps us moving fast and far away from our self-selected extinction. We clean our wounds in the sink, and stitch up our skin like we are putting ourselves back together again, as other brave souls with holey clothes rise from the grave, kind, but intense we come back to stand in defense of those who are not allowed to defend themselves.

-2024

[spiderlilyserendipity]

JK x Reader: Patience 🔞

A/N: No thoughts, just CEO JK brainrot. As always, minors DNI.

Genres: smut, slightttt angst, fluff

Tags: Rich!CEO JK, insecure reader, plus size reader, jk and reader’s first time together, lingerie, communication!!, oral (m and f receiving), multiple orgasms, soft dom jk, aftercare!!!

WC: 1962 (1.9k)

One thing about Jungkook is that he is perpetually busy. As the CEO of Decalcomania Studios, he spends a lot of time in the office meeting with actors, checking in with his directors about how projects are going, etc. Jungkook is the epitome of a self-made man, using his brain and his charms to make his studio stand out in Hollywood.

You used to work as a receptionist at the gym Jungkook used to work out at. The two of you met many times before you worked up the courage to ask for his phone number. You were a hundred percent sure he would turn you down, but to your surprise he said yes, and took you out on the first of many romantic dates. 

Fast forward a year, and you’re looking for a job that aligns more closely to your degree. Jungkook has been nothing but supportive to you, even letting you move in to save money on expenses. 

One thing about you is you love giving back to the people you love. You put special care and detail into things for the ones you love. For Jungkook, you already know what you want to give him for your anniversary — yourself, donned in stunning black lingerie for your first time together.

It’s early evening when Jungkook returns from the office. The chef has already come and gone, having made all of Jungkook’s favourite dishes as per your request to make dinner tonight special. Now, it’s just you, donned in a black silk robe with only the lingerie underneath. 

You expect Jungkook to smile and hug you tightly when he sees you, since it’s your anniversary and all. But instead Jungkook stops to kiss your forehead, then walks directly to his study with his laptop case in hand.

Heart sinking, you realize he must be busy. I guess I’m the only one making a big deal of this. You think, looking down at yourself, where the robe covers the lingerie you’re wearing.

Trying to be optimistic, you arrange a tray for Jungkook to be able to eat dinner at his desk. 

You knock twice on the heavy wooden door to the study.

“A-Are you busy, babe?”

“Yes. Do you need something?” Jungkook looks up from his computer, looking tired. 

You bite your lip, thoughts starting to churn in your mind. Jungkook is busy. He probably forgot what today is. You think, then a more negative thought slips in past the careful wall of confidence you usually have up. Not like you’ve got anything he wants to see anyway.

“No.” You squeak out. “Nothing at all, haha. Just wanted to bring you dinner.” You say, stepping forward to place the tray on the edge of the desk.

Jungkook grabs your wrist as you start to turn away. “I’m sorry, baby. I know it’s our anniversary today.” Jungkook’s eyes brim with sincerity. His thumb gently strokes the inside of your wrist. “I just need another twenty minutes, then I’m all yours.”

You smile at him. “It’s okay, take your time. I wasn’t doing anything important anyway.” You laugh nervously, your inner fears coming out to play at the mere sight of Jungkook’s love. “Being unemployed and all.”

Jungkook frowns. “Babe.”

You try to pull your hand away, breaking eye contact. “Sorry. You’re busy.”

Jungkook holds onto you tighter. “No. I want to know. Is that how you see yourself?”

You hesitate. “Jungkook…”

Jungkook doesn’t waver. He closes the laptop and pushes it away from him. “This can wait. Sit on my lap.”

You look down at his thick thighs then at yourself, a little too round to fit on his lap comfortably. God, what if the chair broke?

“What are you thinking about, baby? I told you to do something, didn’t I?” Jungkook lowers his voice, barely a whisper. Jungkook has never been this authoritative with you. You press your thighs together, feeling something drop in your stomach. 

“I-If you don’t mind. I mean, not to trouble you.” You ramble, blushing hard. Jungkook chuckles, then tugs you onto his lap. “Jungkook! I’m–I’m heavy.” You stutter, but Jungkook won’t have any of it. He manhandles you until you’re straddling him.

“I lift weights double your size.” Jungkook retorts, making you even more flustered. You place your face in the crook of Jungkook’s neck, embarrassed. Jungkook laughs, then his fingertips find their way into your hair, playing with the strands gently. “You can’t get embarrassed now, baby. You haven’t even shown me your lingerie yet.”

You pull back and look at him, stunned. “How do you know I’m wearing lingerie?”

Jungkook smiles, eyes crinkling. “When was the last time you walked around the house in just a robe?”

You groan, realizing Jungkook has known since the start. “This is terrible. Act like you don’t know.” You pout. Jungkook looks amused.

“How could I possibly do that when my girlfriend looks so fucking good?” He says, then pulls one side of your robe to expose your shoulder. His tongue bulges against the side of his cheek when he sees the bra strap. “Black lingerie?”

“It’s your favourite colour.” You say in a small voice.

Jungkook tilts his head up slightly to look at you. He purses his lips, then speaks. “You’re really testing my patience, baby.”

You lean forward and give him a kiss, slow and sensual. “Don’t be patient.”

Jungkook takes your advice, and within seconds has complete control of the kiss, and you. “My perfect girl. Fuck.” Jungkook curses, breaking the kiss to kiss along your neck. You tilt your head back, moaning softly. 

Jungkook scoops you up into his arms bridal style, making you squeak out. You protest for him to put you down, but he simply carries you out of the study and down the hall to the bedroom. You don’t realize exactly how much you’ve riled him up until Jungkook kicks the bedroom door shut with his foot, then sets you down on the bed.

“Y/N. I’ve had enough. Take that damn robe off.” Jungkook orders, stepping back to pull his tie off. 

You sit up onto your knees, pulling the robe off. Jungkook’s eyes run up and down your body hungrily. You see his eyes stop at your belly, and instinctively try to cover it. Jungkook arches a brow. “What happened to the girl who told me not to be patient just now? Did she get shy?” Jungkook teases in a low voice.

“That’s not it!” 

“I didn’t ask for back-talk. On your back.” Jungkook orders, rolling his sleeves up. You watch as he kneels in front of the bed. He takes one of your hands and intertwines it with his own. “I’m going to eat you out. If it’s too much, say something or squeeze my hand three times. Okay?” He checks. When you reply okay in return, he kisses your thighs.

With his other hand, Jungkook pulls aside the thin black material of the panties. He smirks when he sees how wet you are from his small touches. “Has my baby been eagerly waiting?” He asks. You’re about to reply when Jungkook slips a finger in your entrance, cutting you off. He waits until the tightness dissipates to curl the finger inside you, making you whine and grind down for more. Jungkook chuckles. “And here I thought I was the only one going fucking insane sleeping next to you every night, wanting to strip you down and have you under me like this.”

You shudder at the thought of Jungkook doing this to you every day. “All yours, baby.” You manage.

Jungkook replies by leaning in and sucking your clit. You jolt, but Jungkook holds your hips down with his free arm. Then, like a starved man, Jungkook starts eating you out. You whine and try to grind down, but Jungkook doesn’t let it happen. “Jungkook, baby.” You complain, but Jungkook slides another finger inside you.

“What’s that? Does my baby girl need more than my fingers?” Jungkook looks up at you, grinning boyishly.

You glare at him. “Need you.”

“What part of me?” Jungkook teases.

“Babe!” 

Jungkook chuckles, then returns to eating you out like nothing happened. Soon, you feel the familiar tension building in your stomach, but you don’t want to come without Jungkook. “Babe, I need to come. Please.” You beg. 

Jungkook’s lips leave you. “Come.” 

At his permission, you come so hard your thighs shake.

Jungkook kisses your inner thigh. “Good girl.” He says, then raises himself up to kiss you. You pull him down on top of you and he cups your face in his hands. “So perfect.” He praises, pulling back to look you in the eye.

You smile at him. “Now your turn.” You giggle.

Jungkook smiles back. “That’s okay. I know you’re shy about things like this. We can go all the way next time.”

You pout. “No. I wanna make you feel good now.”

Jungkook laughs. “Ugh, you’re so cute. What do I do with you?” He asks, climbing into bed with you. He sits on the bed, then motions for you to come sit on his lap. When you do, you realize how hard he is. 

“Can I?” You ask, and Jungkook nods. You unzip his pants and pull his cock out of his boxers. 

You pump his member up and down a few times, then lower yourself to suck it. Jungkook groans, tipping his head back in pleasure. He strokes your hair as you pleasure him, and you can feel him resisting the urge to dig his fingers into your hair. Even at his most vulnerable, Jungkook thinks of you.

“Off.” Jungkook breathes, and you obey. You sit up, ready for him. Jungkook pulls you in for another deep kiss. “Do you want me to stretch you again, baby? Or do you think you can take it now?”

“I can take it.” You say confidently.

Jungkook kisses your cheek, but looks worried. “We’ll go slow.” He promises. He lays you down against the bed, helping you get comfortable by placing a pillow under your hips. Jungkook lines himself up to your entrance, watching your expression as he enters inch by inch. He gives you a moment to adjust, running his hands up and down your sides and murmuring sweet nothings in your ear.

“Okay.” You breathe after a minute. “I’m ready.”

Jungkook kisses you and starts moving.

Even though his thrusts aren’t fast, Jungkook’s stamina is no joke. He thrusts deep inside you, and holds you close against him. You sigh with every thrust, content with being close to him. It feels so good in a way you’ve never experienced — loving and meaningful, passionate but not too fast. You feel cared for. Safe.

“Come.” Jungkook orders, and you’re gone.

The two of you are panting when Jungkook lays on top of you. “Love you.” You say, exhausted.

“Love you more.” Jungkook returns, kissing the crook of your neck.

You lay there for a few more moments before Jungkook carries you into the bathroom. The two of you wash up together. While you do your skincare routine, Jungkook changes the bedsheets, airs out the room, and re-heats dinner for the two of you.

You meet him in the dining room once you’re ready.

“I’m sorry I’ve left you alone for so long.” Jungkook apologizes over dinner. “I don’t want you to ever feel I put my work above you.”

“I’ll forgive you on one condition.” You say, a smile playing on your lips.

Jungkook smiles. “Anything.”

You pretend to think deeply. “A ring on my third finger, a baby, and a destination wedding.”

Jungkook laughs, leaning across to kiss you. “All of that is coming soon. Patience, babe.” He vows, intertwining your hand in his over the table.

[gghalcyon]

KONIG: Imagining what I'll do to you when I return, Mein Süßi. I'll start by kissing your lips, touching you all over, feeling your soft skin. Kissing your neck, feeling the softness of your breast, and taking one nipple after the other in my mouth until you moan for me, making me rock hard. I want to be inside you, throw your legs on my shoulders, and get as deep as I can until you're screaming my name. YOU: I love the thought of that so SO much, baby. I wish I wasn't at work right now 😭 , especially since you got me turned on. Now I'll be distracted thinking of you. Not fair 🥺. KONIG: Good 😈😈😈. I want you to think of me while you work, Mein Süßi. What time do you get home? YOU: In a few hours. Can you do video, baby? I'd love to see you. It's been so long! KONIG: Nein 😔. Not in a place to do video, but I can do voice, my love. YOU: I can't wait to hear that sexy Austrian accent 😉. Talk soon, baby? KONIG: That's a promise, Mein Süßi. Think of me and what I'm doing to you when you get home, my love 😉.

- - - - -

Fast forward to you at home.

You sink into the living room couch, fresh from a shower after work, wearing just your panties and one of König's oversized heavy metal t-shirts that he had kept at your apartment. Music plays in the background as you wait for his call. And when an unknown number rings, your heart speeds up in anticipation, eagerly waiting to hear König's deep Austrian voice after a few weeks of not doing so.

"I miss you," he says when you pick up his call, his voice filled with longing. You reply with the same sentiment, wishing he was right in your living room, lounging together in each other's arms like you often do when he is home. But right now, you push that longing aside, telling yourself that you must make the most of this precious moment to hear his voice instead of the usual text messages you would exchange.

König's voice fills your heart with warmth as he tells you about his day. He explains that it has been a long day and is glad he has the night to lay in bed, recuperate and speak to you. You can't help but smile imagining him on his cot in the KorTac base, his long body laying on the bed, shirtless and only in his boxers, and a phone to his ear speaking to you. You wonder if he imagines you as you are now, relaxed and stretched out on the couch with your phone, longing for him.

You spend most of your conversation sharing what's been happening in your work and lives and giving updates on how things are going at home. You tell König about the longer hours at work and how much you wish for a vacation when he returns. He jumps on that and promises that when he gets back, that's precisely what you'll both do--go on some lavish vacation because you both sure as hell need it. As for König giving updates, he can't provide any information on his mission or where he is, so you don't pry. He does reassure you he is safe and unhurt and says he will be home soon, which calms your worry and makes you pray that "soon" means tomorrow or a few days from now. It wouldn't hurt to dream.

"Remind me again what you'll do to me when you get back home, baby," you prompt, wanting König to describe vocally what he wrote in his hot texts to you hours ago. He doesn't fail, as he gets the signal that it is time to change the topic to something more sensual. So he does just that, his voice dropping low as you hear him shift above the sheets on his cot while on the phone. You wonder if he is getting comfortable, getting ready to touch himself. In contrast, he gets you hot and bothered through your shared fantasy and promise.

"Let's play it out, baby," you urge as you shift on the couch and remove your panties, leaving his shirt on to imagine it is his skin against you. "I've just taken off my panties, and I'm so turned on already by you."

König takes a deep breath, almost steadying himself before speaking. "My cock is in my hand, Leibling, rock hard already thinking how much I want to see you right now, naked for me, your smooth pussy lips being rubbed by my tip as I tease you."

The image his description produces makes you ache, and you draw a finger over your smooth and shaved mound, touching your folds, imagining it is him. The slickness of your arousal coats your finger as you arch up.

"I'm touching myself, slow and gently, just like you would do," you tell him seductively, "Imagine how slick I'll make the tip of your cock, baby. I'll rub it nice and slow, around my lips, against my clit."

"I love when you tease me, rubbing your tight cunt around the tip of my cock, knowing just how much I want. You can hear the neediness in his voice as he responds instantly.

You imagine the intensity in his blue gaze and ask him a question you know has already been answered. "You want to fuck me hard when you get home from your mission, don't you?"

"Fuck yes," he growls. You imagine him slowly stroking his hardness with his hands, and the thought of making him come so hard awakens a scene you've dreamt about often.

You set the scene, "Do you think we'll make it inside my apartment? Or would you take me outside so my nosy neighbors can see you take advantage of me?"

He breathes deeply and chuckles, "Why don't we give them a good show? I'm going to fuck you raw right against your front door. Let your neighbors watch. I don't give a damn."

"You're a troublemaker," you say, wanting to sound chastising but knowing it likely comes off more seductive and appreciative.

"Am I?" His voice is so masculine and mischievous. You love imagining his facial expressions as he toys with you. "Is that what you call me pushing you flush against your front door, grinding behind you, and making you feel my hard cock pressed against that beautiful round ass of yours? Do you like when I get my hands running up your short dress until I feel how wet you are?"

"Yes!" You feel your fingers rubbing gentle circles around your clit, imagining him teasing you as he towers behind you. You're flush against your front door, your nipples hard against it.

"Do you think someone will walk by and catch us?" König asks. You moan against the phone, imagining the feeling of his hot breath against your ear.

"I don't give a damn about them, baby. I want all of you so badly." Your voice sounds desperate and wanting.

"Music to my ears," he says, "As much as I want to fuck you hard, I'm not going to. Not just yet. So I spin you around so your back is against your apartment door. You look so beautiful looking up at me."

"I pull you down for a kiss because I want to taste you. It's been so long, and I love feeling your tongue against mine," you say, "I miss the way you taste."

"Getting me so hard, you're driving me crazy, and we're just kissing, Mein Liebling. I want more, and I'll get it--I'll fuck you good--but first, I want to touch you everywhere. I want to make you wetter than ever before, Mein Liebling."

"Hmmm….slow and steady for my giant. I love that. I touch your chest, your arms. I love the feel of your muscles beneath my palms. Your skin is so warm; I miss touching you. We can't get close enough that it aches, and it's driving me crazy."

"Let me take care of that ache, my love," he says as he continues, "I start to kiss you from your lips down to your neck, teasing your nipples with my hands through your dress. I take one strap off and lean in to take one nipple in my mouth."

You raise a hand to your breasts, squeezing and caressing them, imagining they were König's hands. You draw your fingers into your mouth to wet them, then use them to squeeze one pert nipple after the other. You imagine him licking and sucking on them, something he knows you love when he does.

"Oh, baby, that feels so good," you moan and continue, "I run my hands through your hair, pushing you closer. God, your tongue is wonderful, and I can't help but slip my hands over your hard cock beneath your jeans."

"I gently push your hand away from my cock, because I'm not finished with you yet. I haven't tasted your sweet pussy like I promised I would. Remove your panties for me, mein Liebling, and lift up your dress."

You imagine doing just that, your body feeling hot as you share what you'd do with him. "My face grows hot, and my heart beats so fast as I slide my panties off until they fall at our feet. I lift my dress for you, feeling exposed and incredibly aroused. I had made sure to be waxed smooth for you, baby. I know how much you love that. Do you like what you see?"

You imagine König's eyes darkening with pleasure as he takes in all of you.

"My sweet love," he purrs, "I have never seen anything more beautiful. I kneel before you, my mouth watering at how slick and wet you are for me."

"What are you going to do to me, baby?" You rub your fingers harder against your clit, while another pinches your nipples. A great need builds up inside of you that you know only he can fulfill.

König responds, "I raise one of your legs and place it on my shoulder, then do the same with the other until your back is pressed against the door. I hold up your ass and position you in front of my face so that your cunt is right there for me. I lean in to taste it.

You moan at the thought. "I love watching you dive right in, licking my clit. Every nerve in my body comes alive as I feel your mouth on me and hear you enjoying yourself. It's driving me wild."

"Hold onto my shoulders, Mein Leibling. I don't want you to fall over. I want to taste as much of you as I can. You smell so good; you're so delicious. I lick and eat you out just how you like it. My tongue swipes at your clit, and I can feel you getting closer and closer to orgasm."

"Yes, that's it. Keep going, baby. I'm so close," you whisper, getting even more aroused, feeling closer and closer to the edge.

You hear König hum in approval and imagine him redoubling his efforts, pushing you closer to the edge. Now, you're fucking yourself with your fingers, slippery and wet. You hear the sound of his hands jerking off on the phone, making you get closer to the edge, and you can't help but yearn to have seen the sight of your man getting off with your fantasy together.

König moans and continues, "I grasp your hips in my hands and hold you steady as I continue to pleasure you with my tongue.

You moan loudly for him over the phone, "It's so good, baby. Please keep going."

König makes licking and slurping and kissing noises, and you can't help but imagine that it's his tongue and not your fingers fucking your cunt. The sensations are building up intensely, and you can feel yourself getting closer to orgasm. "Yes, König! Keep going! Mmmm, you feel so good, baby."

"You taste so great. I'm keeping my tongue inside you, and I feel your hand grasping and clawing at my shoulders."

"Baby, I'm going to come!"

"Let go, my love. Don't hold back," König murmurs, and you envision him continuing to pleasure you with his tongue. You imagine gripping his shoulders tightly and letting the orgasm wash over you, screaming out in pleasure as your entire body shakes with ecstasy.

"Ah! Baby!" And it hits you; your walls tighten and pulse around your fingers--which you imagine are König's fingers--while your ears ring from the experience, and your body is left sweaty from the bliss.

König says, "I let you ride the wave. I take my mouth off of your cunt and kiss up along your stomach, leaving a trail of wet kisses until I'm kissing your neck, making you gasp and moan for me."

You continue, knowing how badly you both want König to come after giving such a release. "I'm ready to feel you inside me, and I want you to fuck me as hard as you like, baby. Use me like your doll; do anything you want."

"I love the sound of that," König says.

"I open your pants zipper and free your hard, throbbing cock. I touch the tip with my finger, rubbing the slickness around it. I then lick my finger to taste you. Mmmm, I miss how my king tastes.

"I want to get inside you so badly, mein Liebling," he tells you.

"Then take me, baby."

"I lift you up, wrapping your legs around my waist," he starts. You can practically imagine him licking his lips seductively as he continues. "I take you with slow, deliberate thrusts into your wet core, deep enough to make you hold on tightly around my neck."

"It feels incredible; you feel perfect. I can feel you stretching me, letting my warmth swallow you whole. You're so big, my love. Ah. Is it just the way you like it, baby?"

You hear König's increased motion against his cock over the phone, the rustling of sheets, and his grunts and moans of pleasure.

"Yes, my love. You're so tight and wet. So warm. Your pussy squeezes my cock, and you take it all in. I pause, and we don't move for a moment as I let you get used to my size, and I feel your pussy squeezing and pulsing against me."

His words drive you mad as you tell him how you'd react, "I caress your back, loving the feel of your muscles against my fingers, and then run my hand through your hair as I squeeze my legs around you. I kiss you as we move together. I tighten my pussy around your cock. You feel so good, baby."

"My love, every thrust-- in and out of your welcoming warmth drives me wild. I am fucking you slowly, excruciatingly, even though I want to ravage you like an animal."

Your body tingles with pleasure as König speaks, and you start imagining how it would feel to have him inside you like that. Your breathing intensifies as your anticipation builds, and you can't help but moan in pleasure.

"That sounds so good, my love," you whisper, eagerly anticipating his touch. "I'm fingering my pussy, wanting it so badly to be your hands on me."

"Oh yeah? You're getting yourself all worked up imagining me inside you, fucking you so all your neighbors can hear, maybe even catch us?" He growls low, and you can imagine his fingers start stroking your clit as he plunges inside of you, just where it feels so good. His slow circles become faster and more insistent as he nibbles on the back of your neck.

"It feels so good, Mein Liebling," He groans on the other end of the phone, his voice thick with pleasure and desire.

"I love hearing you moan like this," you tell him. "Imagine my hands being your pussy, squeezing you, milking you just how you like it. I pull you close and kiss your lips. God, I miss your lips, missing kissing you so much while we're together like this."

You imagine his mouth finding yours again as he thrusts harder into you, each movement growing increasingly desperate. You can hear the wet sounds of his hands stroking his cock over the phone. You imagine him sitting on his bed, his body nude and gleaming in the lamplight, as he works himself to pleasure.

"Baby, I'm so wet right now. Imagining your finger circling my clit, rubbing me as you thrust inside of me with your big, hard cock. You're so hard, baby. It's intense; I can feel it on my belly, just how deep you are."

You imagine his fingers slipping between your legs, teasing your clit as he thrusts into you. His touch sends waves of pleasure crashing over you, and you grip him tightly as his thrusts become faster and more urgent. "Oh yeah," he groans against your ear. "Feeling your tight pussy on my cock, babe. Fuck, you're so hot."

"Mmm, baby. I arch my back and press against you with every thrust. I love when you hover over me and fuck me like this, taking control. My fingers move quickly over my clit as your cock slams into me hard, the sensation making me quiver all over."

You hear him groaning and imagine him increasing the speed of his thrusts. He's panting heavily now, and you picture him furiously hand-fucking himself and wish that you could watch. You can feel yourself getting wetter, and your fingers are slick with your desire as you continue fingering yourself while imagining him.

König continues, "I'm pounding into you relentlessly now, and I can feel my balls slapping against your ass with each thrust. You shout out my name as I fuck you harder and faster, and the pleasure is overwhelming. I can feel your body quivering around me, and I know I won't be able to last much longer."

You feel your orgasm building and pant for breath as you envision him thrusting into you. Each bump of his cock against your walls creates intense pleasure, sending sparks of electricity across your skin as the sensations build up within both of you.

"I'm coming, baby," he breathes, his voice heavy and strained. You press your feet against the bed and lift your hips up, feeling your fingers hit just the right spot as you moan loudly in response to his words. You imagine his thrusts growing stronger and quicker until there's one final push that causes him to grunt loudly into your ear before he releases his hot cum inside of you. You feel yourself tremble, and your back arch as your orgasm follows, sending intense waves coursing through both of you.

"I'm coming!" you cry out, your inner walls clinging tightly to your fingers as you press harder and faster against your throbbing clit. "Fuck! Mein Leibling!"

You both pant as you reach climax together, speaking the language of love over the phone. In your mind, you picture König grunting with pleasure as he strokes his fingers along himself and wishing it was your slickness they were coating. You can imagine him picturing you, laid back after orgasm, with your honey dripping from your thighs.

The pleasure of your orgasms lingers long after you hear each other's shared moans fade away. You lie there in bed, panting for breath and feeling satisfaction flooding through your body.

König takes a deep breath and speaks first, his voice low, husky, and satisfied.

"Mein Liebling!" he murmurs into the phone. "Holy shit." You can tell he's still coming down from his high, and you smile at how passionate the moment is.

You sigh contentedly as you stretch out on the couch, still feeling euphoric from your orgasmic bliss. "That was amazing," you whisper into the phone to your boyfriend.

"Yes, it is," König replies softly. You can hear him take a deep breath, imagine him with a satisfied handsome smile, his blue eyes dilated, and his blonde hair disheveled, face sweaty. You miss him so much, longing to hug and feel his lips.

"I miss you so much, baby."

"I miss you too," König responds. His voice is soft and sincere, full of emotion. You can almost sense him reaching out to you over the phone, wanting to erase all those years apart with a single embrace.

The two of you stay on the line for an extended period that night, conversing and savoring the afterglow of your shared climax until you're both too exhausted to remain awake any longer.

You finally disconnect the call with a pledge of sweet dreams and exchanges of "I love you" before hanging up for sleep. You fall asleep feeling warm all over, recalling the moment you just shared and what it will be like when you finally see each other face to face soon - very soon.

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