#but in the middle of this season I forgot there's doctor who going on and stopped being excited about it

[aenslem]

I was thinking about the entire new new who season and the final to understand what Im feeling about it, but the conclusion is I felt nothing, and it's disappointing, not the show, I mean I watched it and it was fine, but the fact that it did not make me feel things it supposed to make me feel, like you're killing kate stewart

and Im thinking about what I should make myself for a dinner, Im supposed to hold onto chair and stop breathing the moment she dies, I love her, and yet... Im making myself mac and cheese

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

02/19/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Cast & Crew; Rhys Darby; Con O'Neil; Kristian Nairn; Samba Schutte; Wee John Wondays; LubeAsACrew; Stats/Trends; Fan Spotlight; Engagement Prompts; LoveNotes; Daily Darby/Tonight's Taika

Hey All, today's been an off day for me, so please let me know if I've missed something. Hope you all had fun!

= Cast & Crew Sightings =

== Rhys Darby ==

Well, our goofball of a captain is back with more Red Dead Redemption II, check out Part 2 below:

Rhys also did comedy at Bourbon Room Hollywood last week, and = tmiddendorfphoto on IG captured quite a lot of photos of his set. Feel free to visit them:

== Con O ' Neill ==

Whoops! I had this prepped for yesterday then completely forgot, sorry Con! Con was out seeing BettyRules in NYC!

== Wee John Wonday ==

Kristian had Samba on WJW Today! Lots of cool stuff they chatted above! If you're unable to watch right now, there's a small breakdown of various high points below:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Kristian Nairn (@kristiannairn)

Highlights/Things We Learned:

Samba baby's name is Ocean

Samba was kind enough to stand in for WJW when someone else had to drop off for work.

Samba loves giving Kristian middle names: Kristian Victoria Nairn / Kristian Alexander Nairn / Kristian Valaria Nairn, Kristian Venereal Disease Nairn / Kristian Damien Nairn / Kristian Nicholas Nairn / Kristian Tabitha Nairn

There were live doves that would shit on you on set, and they shat on Samson

Kristian was a professional Chef

Samba wants to do Cryptic Factor w/Rhys

Samba is big into ufo's and cryptids

Kristian is also into paranormal stuff

Kristian - In New Zealand saw weird things on the lawn of his rental place (weird creatures focused on the balcony of his room)

David Fane - ate all the cheese in Calypso's Birthday

They really appreciate all the fans trying to save OFMD and would LOVE to get a season 3, even if only for 2 hours.

Samba would like ot do a bts/blooper combo but has to get permission first

For the wrap party, the cast members got each other gifts:

Samson got everyone crocs

EDIT: David Fane gave them Samoan necklaces (ty @denizbevan)!

Kristian said his "Gifts got stolen"

Samba gave them pictures / BTS videos

Q: Who was most elusive in regards to BTS?

Joel - also Ewan

Q: Favorite Soup?

Sambas favorite Soup - Chicken Noodle (chicken soup)

Kristian's favorite Soup - Cream of Tomato

Q: Did anything change with Roach in S2?

Yes, he became softer / trusting

Q: Lots of great energy and hanging out between crew members and family, (not something often seen) what do you think led to that?

Casting director Alison Jones - awesome at casting

Energy on set was positive and acceptance from the get go that helped

Sailing training, stunt training, sword fighting together helped bonding

Everyone on the cast was odd, and people moved out together so lots of small found family situations

Long hours together

Note: Stede's story time everyone is actually asleep, cause they've been up for like 18 hrs

Q: What's your favourite dessert, that you could live off forever?

Roach - Chocolate Mousse, really fluffy and airy

Kristian - Black Forest Cake

Q: What was best part of working in New Zealand?

8 hr days instead of 18 hrs days

Nature was gorgeous

Maori Elders did a land blessing

Q: Roach played a lot of roles, what do you think was his main role?

Cook, Doctor, therapist in that order.

Q: Would Aamba release a cookbook?

If enough interest, Yes - OFMD Cast Favorite Cookbook

And Mac and cheese recipe

Cakes and desserts

Q: What's it like being a new dad?

Amazing , no time to catch breath, feeling a lot of protectiveness and excitement and energy to step up and take care of the kiddo So fulfilling, Sambas a great dad.

Original Script / Deleted Scene Stuff:

In original script: Roach was going to end up with the crew of revenge, but then changed the script cause Samba would look like a kid who stole his dads jacket, so Frenchie was cap

Originally Zheng called the crew "beta" instead of "tender" but they changed it.

Innkeeper deleted scenes:

Everyone's eating soup on deck, roach was supposed to be serving people soup, and Fang says "Ah, Leroy, I'm so glad you're alive?" and Lucius goes "I'm sorry do you think my name is Leroy?"

Oluwande was crying, Jim asks if he was, he says no he gets that thing when he's around grass, and Jim says "A yeah lots of grass around here"

Other deleted scene:

Kristian saying "its sizest" doing big guy stuff

And roach says he's stuck doing tall skinnhy guy stuff

Pete asks if he's stuck doing bald guy stuff

More Deleted scenes:

Ewan zip lines over first and yells: "I was born to fly"

Roach zip line screams quietly cause they tell him to be quiet, and then he lands and says, "why its so sticky I wanna go back", and he tries to get back on the rope but Frenchie flys in and knocks him over.

Another Delete scene:

Wee John was going to dress up as cupid, would have encouraged Stede and Ed, who would have danced to "At Last" and then when and boned.

== Samba BTS ==

In honor of Wee John Wonday's, Samba added some more BTS starring Kristian, and shared the video he talked about in WJW regarding Kristian's birthday.

== Lube As A Crew ==

Astroglide sent @Seven_Sugars a carepackage for a lovely review!

== Stats Stats Stats / Trends ==

Thank you @meowzawowza_ as usual for the awesome insight!

Trends! Thank you @merryfinches and @debphotog for catching these!

== Fan Spotlight ==

For those of you not on twitter, you may not have seen @wndrngnomad's collage's she's been doing each day for the cast members! They go back quite a while so I'll add them all to the repo, but they kind enough to give me permission to share them with the everyone outside of twitter!

== Engagement Prompts ==

Over on Instagram @saveofmdcrewmates have some engagement prompts for tomorrow: #CrossoverCruesday. Time to switch it up! What is your fantasy crossover beween another show and OFMD? Crossover AU anyone?

== Articles ==

Special thanks to @heide79728 on Twitter for sharing all these international headlines!

HBO MAX "praised the loyal audience that engaged with the series and contributed to building an interactive community around it." - Article in Arabic

"14 Recommended Series-fans are already deeply engaged in a massive campaign to encourage another network to buy the rights and produce another season to give the story the ending it deserves" - Article in Hebrew

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies.

Have you had any water lately? Did you get to go outside and take a walk? Please remember that you need breaks sometimes, even if they're only a few minutes here or there.

You deserve rest-- and when things get rough, your brain needs a couple minutes to reset. Remember to take care of yourself and practice some self-care.

Self care means fun too!

Do something you enjoy that makes you smile. I'm not a fan of sticker/sticky things-- but I know a lot of people who love googly-eyes so I figured this was appropriate.

Anyway, gnight/gday crew, have a lovely one.

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

I think I've done this Darby one on these recaps before, but I needed to have a theme tonight, and the them is well, I think you know. Yes that is Taika in the stash, from "Boy".

[teecupangel]

As someone who very recently came into possession of a labradoodle who is more poodle than lab, how about that for dog!des? Specifically the fact that their fur is a fucking nightmare to deal with if not brushed regularly. Like twice a day regularly.

(We’ve been making fun of Malik for a while now so let’s change things up)

Shaun was an awful owner.

Truly.

He should never be in charge of any pet at all.

Desmond felt like his second life as a labradoodle is his own personal hell than a chance for a second life.

Forget about his plans to become the most awesome Assassin dog once he grew bigger.

He wasn’t going to survive his life as a puppy because the new mentor (some dude named Elijah) ordered Shaun and Rebecca to take care of him.

Okay.

Rebecca was awesome.

She never forgot his meal time. She walk him around the little suburban compound they were staying at the moment every morning and every afternoon. She let him run around the house and threw balls for him to chase (look, Desmond learned early on that he cannot fight certain canine urge, it was part of the whole “I got reincarnated into a dog” deal).

But she was, and Desmond could not stress this enough, nine months pregnant since last week.

Desmond couldn’t even wrap his head around the whole “yeah, Shaun and Rebecca are now married and soon will have their first kid” thing.

So…

Rebecca was ordered by a doctor named Chewy to rest and to not do any stressful and/or strenuous activities.

And, according to Shaun, Desmond was a stressful and strenuous activity.

First of all, fuck Shaun.

Second of all, Chewy also told Rebecca to try and move around the house and Desmond accompanied her whenever she did and, not once, did Rebecca call him a stress fur ball (like Shaun).

Third of all, Desmond knew that Shaun was actually the most stressed among the three of them. He was worried about Rebecca and he was still doing work for the Brotherhood.

But still…

“What happened to you? Why is your fur like this?”

He was so awful at taking care of Desmond.

He didn’t forget meal time (thank god) but that was because they timed his meal time at the same time as their meal time. Rebecca reminded Shaun to eat with her each time and Shaun automatically prepares Desmond’s food during that time (according to Rebecca, the mentor told them that Desmond cannot eat dog food so Desmond’s food is usually rice, some kind of meat and a bit of vegetables that are okay for him to eat, all… not seasoned at all but Desmond can deal with that)

Walk though… Desmond had to bark at Shaun just to remind him to walk him. One time, Shaun was in the middle of a debate (via messenger) with one of Erudito’s hackers and Desmond just gave up and peed on his leg.

No.

Desmond was not embarrassed. He lost all semblance of human embarrassment when he first had to shit on the grass while Rebecca was watching.

Now, all he felt was smugness whenever Shaun would sigh but grab his jacket so they could take a walk.

But Shaun’s worst offense was his inability to remember Rebecca telling him that Desmond needs to be brushed often.

Like…

At least twice a day.

Thrice would be better.

Rebecca usually brushed him after every meal and after their walk.

Because she knew how much of a nightmare his fur would become if it wasn’t properly cared.

But Shaun.

Shaun kept forgetting it and Desmond had to sit still while Shaun grumbled as he brushed his fur.

Seriously…

Desmond was honestly worried that Shaun would have this much trouble caring for their future baby.

Desmond would probably have to step up as the dog nanny.

Yippee.

[sagan-starstuff]

Secret Santa Gift Exchange Questionnaire

Starting broad, tell your Santa about your relationship to The X-Files. This could be how you got into The X-Files in the first place, what the show means to you, or just general information you think might be relevant for your Santa to know.

My mother was an X-Phile long before I was, she watched from the Pilot on. She was in chat rooms, on alt.tv.xfiles, in fic groups. I was afraid of the theme song at first, so much so that I made her mute it if I was still awake. I started watching in 1997, when I was 11 years old. I don't really remember my first episode - some time during the cancer arc. By the time the summer of 1997 was over, thanks to my mom's recorded episodes on VHS and re-runs on FX, I was fully caught up and 100% a shipper when Redux I premiered, and I've been obsessed ever since. I lived and breathed X-files, accumulated stacks of spiral notebooks full of bad tween fic and drawings, scrawled quotes and logos on the covers of my school binders. I was in chatrooms and on Haven, reading fic on Gossamer waaaaay too young, but everyone there still made me feel like I belonged. I was a weird, lonely tween/teen who had an incredibly hard time relating to my peers thanks to being skipped ahead a grade, but I could pretend Mulder and Scully were my friends. They were the smartest people in the room, they were outcasts, too. If they could be smart and strong, I could, too. The fandom gave me a community when middle school couldn't. I met my best friend in 1999 when she wore an X-Files shirt the first week of high school. I decided to become a doctor because Scully showed me that I could. I watched the way that Mulder and Scully loved each other with their minds and souls, and decided that I would never accept any less for myself.

I feel like I'm rambling, but I cannot understate the influence that The X-Files has had on my life. It was always a comfort for me, even when I was in college and the chatrooms and boards started to go dark. I lost connection with the fandom by the time IWTB came out, but I never loved the show any less. When my husband and I first started dating, I'd invite him over to watch X-Files with me...and we did, for a while, before we got up to other activities. He says I seduced him with The X-Files. It worked!

I reconnected with the fandom in 2023, and I wish so much that I'd known you all were out there this long. Finding other X-Philes, now in their 30's, 40's and beyond, has been such a treasure. As has been finding out that people in their teens and 20's love the show, too! I love seeing younger fans, people who may not even have been ALIVE for a lot of the original run. This is how we survive, how the show lives on.

I wear Mulder and Scully on my skin now. They'll be with me until I die.

2. Tell your Santa about your favorites! Favorite characters, favorite moments, favorite episodes, favorite seasons, favorite ships, etc.

This is so hard! My favorite will always be Scully but I love Mulder endlessly, even when he's an idiot. My favorite side character is Byers, though it's hard separating him from the rest of the Gunmen. My favorite moments...god, so many. But a moment I come back to again and again is Scully facing down the senate committee in Tunguska to protect Mulder. She displays strength, grace, and integrity that I can only aspire too. Every MSR moment is my favorite. My favorite seasons are 4-6, I cannot choose between them.

3. Tell your Santa about your LEAST favorites! We all love our show, but it also sucks sometimes. Which parts suck the most for you?

I hate season 9 - its like the writers forgot who these characters were. Mulder would never leave his new family after a lifetime of trauma from the loss of his old one. Scully would never give William up. Parts of season 8 are ok, though the way Mulder is written after his return is absolute character assassination, and I HAAAAAATE the secret brain disease. I don't even acknowledge it. I don't like IWTB much. I HAAAAAATE the My Struggles. I have...come to terms with the breakup, though I'll never like it. The Revival gave us a few great episodes and amazing moments. The parts of the show I rewatch most are season 1-7. Oh, and I hate Diana, but don't we all?

4. Tell your Santa your favorite tropes and genres! Only one bed? Friends to lovers? 5+1? Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort? You get the idea.

Ohhh I love first kiss/first time, I love love confessions, I love hurt/comfort. I like angst but only if it has a happy or hopeful ending. I looove Only One Bed, or huddling for warmth. I love fluff. I'm not a big AU fan unless it's a fix-it fic (like Mulder not leaving Scully and William, or Scully not giving Will up). I also love slice of life fic, seeing all their lost moments in rental cars and airports just...existing together.

5. Tell your Santa about tropes you tend to avoid.

Major Character Death, SA/Non-Con. I just want Mulder and Scully to be safe and loved.

6. For your Santa, but also just for fun, describe your ideal X-Files episode. Is it mythology? MotW? A literal porno? 

MOTW with an aspect that emotionally affects Mulder or Scully, with some nice MSR and evolution of feelings. I'm also down with a literal porno.

7. Speaking of pornography, tell your Santa what your spice preference is, using the following scale:

Salt only⁠ ⁠— No spice at all please! I.e. General audience rating.

Black pepper ⁠— A hint of spice. I.e. Teen rating.

Chili pepper ⁠— There’s a bit of a kick! I.e. Mature rating.

Habanero ⁠— Definitely spicy, but most spice lovers can handle it. I.e. Explicit rating.

✨Ghost pepper✨ ⁠— Only for the spiciest of spice lovers. I.e. VERY explicit/kink/POANG rating.

I will read anything Salt-Habanero, for Ghost Pepper it depends on the kink. Not into choking, non-consensual anything, nothing involving urine/feces, not a big anal fan, no physical or mental degradation of any kind. No feet.

8. Those are the most important things, but I want there to be ten questions because it’ll look better, so tell your Santa what ONE song you would pick to describe MSR. (Or if you’re not into MSR, pick a song for your favorite ship, or for TXF as a whole.)

The canonical MSR song is Walking After You by the Foo Fighters. Lovers in a Dangerous Time by the Barenaked ladies is also them in a nutshell.

9. Almost there. Pick your favorite TXF quote. 

"Please explain the scientific nature of The Whammy."

10. Aaaaand, ten. And the last question can be open ended: Is there anything else you think is important for your Santa to know? Put it here!

Thank you for being a part of the best fandom on the planet! Please feel free to reach out to me with questions or even just to chat!

[theshynerdsworld]

THE MUSE part 4

Benedict Bridgerton x female oc

(I forgot to add, that Mary is 21 and it is set loosely around season 2)

Warning: talks of sex, kissing, flirting (I sort of took idea from when the duke explained the Daphne )

——

The very next morning, Benedict walked into the house of Miss Mary Francis as he walked in, he told the servant, that he was here to see Mary. He followed the man and saw no one there “she has had no suitors?”, “she did earlier, sir.” He nodded as he waited “a Mr. Benedict Bridgerton to see Miss. Mary Elizabeth Francis.” She looked up as stood up to greet him “Benedict? Hello.” She smiled as he walked to her, holding candies and flowers “I heard you are partial to babies breathe and peony’s.” He handed her them, which Mary took and smelt, smiling “thank you, they’re beautiful.”, “also! I heard a certain candy with strawberry syrup in, from Nigel’s convenience is also a favourite.” She did a tiny giggle as she gave the flowers to her hand maid, who went to put them in water “thank you” she took them “why don’t you sit” he nodded.

Benedict took the seat next to her as Mary sat, Johnathon was sat at the table, reading keeping a close eye on them and max came running in, as they spoke “who’s that?” He sat on Johnathons lap “that’s Benedict Bridgerton.” He whispered, as he shushed him as Mary laughed at Benedict, she put her head to the side and blushed “this one is going better.” The six year old said, Mary excused herself, quickly and stood up then walked to Johnathon “is it ok, if we had a walk in the garden?” He nodded “take greta with you.”, “can I come!” She shook her head “sorry max..” she walked back to Benedict and told him. The two walked out of the sitting room doors, outside along with greta of course.

As the two walked, greta followed behind “so.” They both said at the same time, she blushed “go on.” She said, linking arms with him “I am to be apart of George’s exhibition.” She nodded “how wonderful! Will you be showing your fruit paintings and landscapes?” She asked, innocently “I was wondering.. well, if you want to pose for it.” Mary stopped and blinked “I cannot..”, “even if you wore a mask?” He asked, as they started walking again “and a sexy outfit.” She smacked his arm gently “you are terrible, Benedict Bridgerton.”, “me? I’m innocent, Mary Elizabeth Francis.” She cringed “don’t use my middle name.. I hate it.. It was named after my great aunt.. she is awful.”, “she’s still alive?” He looked at her “she refuses to die” she laughed morbidly and alittle breathlessly “why don’t we sit.” He suggested as he noticed her breathlessness “are you alright?” She nodded “yes, just happens sometimes..” she held her stomach alittle “do you need a doctor?” He asked concerned and he shook his head “no, I’m fine now.” She breathed “I haven’t been honest.. I have asthma..” he nodded “right.. my brothers are fine.. I’m the one who got it unfortunately.”

He gave her a sympathetic look “I do not need pity.” She scolded “no pity here.” He held his arms up as he took his jacket off “put it on. I don’t want you getting sick.”, “I can’t wear your jacket! What will people think?” He looked around, and waved at greta “only people I see is Greta.” He cleared his throat “Greta? You won’t judge and spread gossip to the rest of the people, about this will you?” The older women laughed and shook her head “see.” He helped her put it on and it swamped her “when are your grandparents back?”, “tomorrow.. with great aunt Elizabeth…” wrapping the jacket around, she looked sad “why the face?”, “I had a suitor here and he spoke of marriage..” Mary whispered “a Lord Jack Rippleton.. he wants four children..” she looked around, nervous even though Greta wouldn’t say anything “what happens.. during..” he watched some dukes in the pond “during what?” He questioned, as he smiled softly, as they waddled “the wedding night.” She whispered, softly. Benedict looked at her and laughed nervously.

“Did I offend you?” Mary asked “I didn’t mean to.. I’m just curious.. my grandmother and my mother, when she was alive never told me..” Benedict kept starting to talk then stopped, getting closer “she won’t say anything. Greta.. she has many of my secrets.” She whispered “what secrets?”, “I’ll tell you one day, maybe..” she innocently nibbled her bottom lip “a man and a women, will… become intimate” he stopped and she nodded for him to go on, he searched her eyes ‘I shouldn’t be telling her this’ he thought ‘oh well’ he added then said “a man will.. better way, have you ever touched yourself.. down there.” She blinked and blushed “once, when I was nine

Benedict swallowed alittle then said “he can use his lips.. his tongue” she gasped alittle getting closer, Greta looked the other way “his penis..” she raised her eyebrow “he inserts it..” her lips hovered over his “is that it..”, “there’s more..” he nudged his lips against her, Benedict tried to resist “a women can..” their lips touched and smashed against each other, they made little moans as they made out. He pulled away from her and bit her lip alittle “what can a women do..” she whispered as the heavens opened and rain started to pelt down “shit!” He said as he stood up “come on, we should go in.” She nodded, holding his arm as they walked up, using his jacket to shield himself and Greta used an umbrella, they walked in and saw max passed out on the floor and Jonathan, was not around but came in, holding a blanket for max “are you two ok?” They nodded, their hair wet and Mary breathless alittle “I will see you another time Mary.”, “I will walk you out.” He nodded as Greta followed, she smiled as they reached the door “what did you see, in order for you..” he whispered “i will tell you one day..” she whispered back. He smiled and said “until we see each other again.” Then whispered “tomorrow night. Studio” she nodded quickly and he left, Greta came up behind her “I’ve ordered a bath to be drawn and you need to change out of them wet clothes.” She nodded as she followed.

“Um Greta.”, “I won’t say anything miss. I never do.” They walked up the stairs “so you think he likes me?” Greta sighed and said “he’s smitten. He’d make a good husband.” She giggled at Greta as they walked into the room “could you deliver a letter to him… it can only be handed to him.. or his butler..” Greta nodded “I hope you know what you’re doing miss.. if your gran..”, “they aren’t gonna find out. Trust me.”

Half an hour later, she laid in the bath and yawns, as her hair floated around her neck and Greta knocked on the door and Mary groaned “go away! I’m relaxing.” Greta sighed and said “miss, your grandparents are back with your great aunt…”, “nooo! How am I meant to go to Benedict’s!” She whined as Greta walked in “come on. Out! You’ve been in for nearly an hour” Greta held the towel and she got out, wrapping her around. “You’ll find away.”, “i wanted to surpise him tonight.” Greta shook her head “no, Mary. You are to stick to when he says.” Greta scolded “do you think, if he should propose.. I should.. accept.”, “in my opinion, when that man looks at you.. I’m surprised, he hasn’t applied for a special licence.” Mary blushed as she walked into her room.

“Time to face the grandparents and great aunt.”

(I dunno if I will redo this.. I’m not sure..)

[stinalotte]

Season 5, Episode 6: The Shrine

I said I had to gather my thoughts before I would be able to write something coherent. I still don't know if I can do it justice. It's weird, but I hesitate to call The Shrine my favorite episode because it's so devastating. It's very shippy, it has phenomenal acting from everyone, the story is heartbreaking, it should be perfect - but it just hurts so much. If this is my favorite episode, what kind of masochist am I? (Don't answer that, that was rethorical.)

I'm placing this under a cut because this is gonna be long.

The cold open on this one is just brutal. Rodney is already pretty far gone, and he calls himself "Mr Rodney McKay" instead of Dr, because "doctors are smart, and he's not smart anymore". To know what's happening to you, to slowly lose your mental capabilities and to be able to still process what's happening, that's cruel. And then he's calling for John, and that's when I had to pause the video for the first time because the tears were already coming. The title sequence hadn't even started.

Fuck.

I lost my grandmother to Alzheimer's a couple years ago. She had a slow and steady decline and thankfully, it was one of those cases where she just forgot more and more, but without the mental anguish. She wasn't panicking, or aggressive, or even agitated. Just a smiling, sweet old lady, who in the end didn't remember how to sit or eat or breathe. When she died, I couldn't cry. I was too busy consoling my mother and aunt at the funeral. The first time I cried was when I rewatched The Shrine, years later. It just shook something loose in me. It's also the point where I decided that if I ever got diagnosed, and was still in a state to do something about it, I would end my life on my terms. I'm not putting anyone through that.

I remember Kate Hewlett saying in an interview that a lot of people on set where crying during those scenes because they had family members with dementia, and that she had to leave the room at one point because it hit close to home for her too.

At first I thought it was mean that everyone was like, "Yeah I realized something was wrong when Rodney was being nice to everyone", but then I thought, no, that's actually a good point. Because his friends were uncomfortable with alternate universe Rod (who was too suave and cool) and they're uncomfortable with a Rodney who is uncharacteristically nice. They love him as he is, not a polished version.

I know everyone is giving Dr Keller shit for not wanting to try the Shrine, but I really think it's because she's a doctor. I work with doctors, and almost weekly I have discussions about respecting a patient's advanced directive. I've had a doctor wanting to install a gastric tube in a patient who was at the end of their life. We had the advanced directive that CLEARLY stated they didn't want that. When I confronted the doctor, she was almost angry. "But they will starve! I can't let them starve!" Yes, you can, and you will, and you have to. The hardest thing for a medical doctor is to have to sit back and not be allowed to do something that might help the patient. I think that where she's coming from. There are treatments to be tried, and if Rodney is taken to the Shrine, all those other options stop. I still think she was wrong and I don't like her approach, but I think it's an explanation why she was acting the way she was.

And then we have Rodney running to John's room in the middle of the night because of course that is the first and only place he'd go. It hurt to watch him be so frantic and desperate. And John is right there for him, grounding him, telling him, I'm not going anywhere.

Beer On The Pier. Yes, you have to write it like that because this scene is a fixed point in time and a goddamn cornerstone of this ship.

Rodney, knowing this is probably the last night he'll be this lucid, wants to say goodbye. And John doesn't let him. Because Rodney's stuck with him until the end. He's not going to turn away, no matter how ugly it's going to get. The very thought of saying goodbye is so foreign to John that he doesn't even want to discuss it. "That's final."

(Also, just for aesthetics alone, the night shots of the city are beautiful.)

I'm trying to be a bit less rambly, but what can you do when you have this masterpiece of an episode?

In the cave, when Rodney is intense pain, John has his arm around him the whole time and doesn't let go until he is himself again.

I love how everyone is so caring and surrounds him with love.

And ugh, the surgery - with fucking power tools. Barbaric. But necessary. But man, to hold your friend's head in your hands, holding him still, while a literal drill is going into his skull? I'd have passed out.

The only tiny little thing that was a bit jarring was Rodney's confession to Jennifer at the end, and just because for me, it came a bit out of left field. But I am nothing if not good at ignoring things that I don't like, so I'll just refer to fanfics that fix this. No harm done.

And finally.

David Ian Hewlett.

Holy fuck, dude.

HOW are you not buried under a shitload of Emmys? How is there not a whole wing of your house dedicated to housing the tons of awards you should have gotten for this? (I know he did get quite a few, but I'm talking custom built shelves in at least four rooms. Minimum.)

Everyone brought their A game acting wise, but this guy knocked it out of the park. It was heartbreaking, moving, extremely believable, and just jaw-dropping. David is, in my opinion, one of the best, if not the best actor of the franchise, and I don't say that lightly. I have a massive crush on Joe Flanigan and he's great, same with Amanda Tapping, but David is just fantastic.

So yeah. There you have it. My very concise, totally normal opinion of this episode. I doubt anyone reads all of this, but hey, this is my tumblr and I do what I want.

If you did indeed sit through all of this, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to tag or reply or add stuff.

[echowithpain]

Guys this is the last Echo's Essay until next season 😭😭😭 Thanks for being here with me, I really appreciate it. That being said, this might just be the longest one yet lmao. Buckle up and I'll just go with what's off the top of my head.

First, I FUCKING CALLED THE ASSHOLE CAPTAIN COMING BACK AND TAKING BOBBYS PLACE!!!!

It made sense, because why have his actor be at the ceremony, AND HAVE A SPEAKING ROLE, unless he was gonna come back in some way?

Also I know Bobby put in his 2 week notice and didn't tell anyone but Athena, but then the whole chasing Amir down and saving his life again as a way to make amends and dealing with the cartel, it's easy to see how he forgot to tell the chief he changed his mind.

Speaking of Athena and Amir, WHY THE FUCK DID THE WRITERS MAKE HER SO HELLBENT ON GOING AFTER HIM ALONE, CONVINCED HE WAS THE ONE WHO SET THE FIRE??? Athena's always been by the book save for a couple instances, but she's always tried to make sure those guilty would be punished by the system. I get that she was emotional about potentially losing Bobby, but calling Maddie and lying to her so she could get Amir's address, going back to her house to get her gun, and then breaking into his house so she can hold him at gunpoint???? Guys come on.

I mean, I guess I could've accepted it if she didn't get her gun and make it seem like she was going to kill him even though we already knew she wasn't. Also the breaking and entering left a bad taste in my mouth, especially since she clarified she was off duty. If you have suspicions of him being guilty, get a warrant for his arrest and bring him in for questioning! They even highlighted how out of character Athena was acting by bringing up Emmett and what she did with the guy who killed him. And to top it off, while she was holding Amir at gunpoint, she was throwing accusations at him, saying he was a bad person, how she should've seen the signs, and how Bobby gave him too much credit, and reminding him of his past with the picture of him and his wife, BRO WHAT THE FUCK

Put yourself in Amir's shoes real quick: you survived a fire that permanently scarred you and took your wife, you decide to become a doctor so you can help people like you wish you could've helped your wife. One day while you're working, a firefighter comes in to reunite one of your patients with their baby and you recognize their last name, and looking into it, realize he's the guy who caused the fire that changed your life. You decide to see how his life has changed since the fire so you go to his AA meeting where you hear him talking about how good his life has been and that makes you upset so you speak up. You leave afterwards not wanting anything else to do with this man and go back to helping people, getting shot in the process. The man then shows up, having found you in the middle of nowhere, trying to help and apologize for what happened in the past. You tell him you don't want his apology and that he should leave you for dead, but he persists and ends up saving your life. After that, while you still don't want to deal with him, you at least tolerate him and go back to helping people.

One day you get a call from work saying one of your patients needs you. So you go into work, and it turns out the guy who caused the fire and changed your life has a wife who lied to get you to go there. You two have a talk and she tells you ever since her husband met you again, his life has been unbalanced and she thinks talking to you again is going to help that. You're weary but you agree to help. When you get there, you see the guy remarried to a beautiful woman, lives in a beautiful home, and has pictures of their kids and happy memories all around. This makes you so upset/jealous that you apologize and rush to leave only to be face to face with this man and it's too much. You tell him if he really wants to make amends, he and his wife should leave you alone, and then you leave so you won't have to experience those emotions again.

You slowly calm down and go back to your life, helping all the people you can. You're coming home, just picked up some dry cleaning, and then the guys wife is in your house, falsely accusing you of setting their house on fire and almost killing her husband, all while pointing a gun at you, saying horrible things about you, and tormenting you with your painful past.

WHAT THE FUCK GUYS???

Amir, I am so sorry you had to deal with that, and as much as I love Bobby and Athena, THEY NEED TO LEAVE YOU THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!! I love the mini friendship he and Maddie had, but please keep Bobby and Athena a million miles away from him and let him live his life!!!!

Honestly, Amir is a better person that I am because even after all of that, he still went into a burnt up house to look for Bobby and assure him that he deserves the new life he built for himself. That even though he'll never forgive the past, he at least respects where he is in the present...

Anyway -2 points for how Athena was acting with Amir.

Next up we have the Eddie and Christopher thing. While I'm sad that they're letting him leave to Texas with his grandparents, which I was so shocked about when they were at the door, I'm also glad that Eddie respects Chris's boundaries and wishes. He called Buck begging him to talk to Chris, and when he emphasized that he didn't want to break down the door to get to him, he wanted Chris to open the door to talk to him 👏👏👏👏👏 Fucking beautiful.

Also Buck, bless your heart, trying to help Christopher by inputting your own experiences with your own parents. It was sweet, but it took me out of the episode a bit with the whole "parents can make mistakes" because while that's true, comparing Eddie with Bucks parents felt wrong. Eddie has always been overprotective of Christopher but was always loving and caring and trying to make sure he had a normal life, and made one big mistake because of unresolved issues that he needs to go to therapy for. Bucks parents were just horrible people. Simple as that, sorry not sorry.

I will say though, after Eddie's whole "I don't want to force him to do anything" thing, and then when he says I love you but Christopher wouldn't look at him and he makes him look at him, I was a little put off. He was just saying he didn't want to force him to do anything and then he's forcing him to look at him when he didn't want to? What the heck? It's alright though, Eddie's speech afterwards made up for it so it gets a pass.

Speaking of passes, can we please be done with Marisol NoLastName now? I know she wasn't in this episode but we last saw her when she and Christopher walked in on Eddie hugging a woman who looked like his dead wife, can that please be the last time? I'm tired of her being brought up.

And speaking of people in the episode who I'm tired of being brought up, when are we getting rid of Tommy? I had exactly 2 posts talking about him during my liveblogging and neither of them were good. I've been very vocal about my dislike of Tommy, but he was so unnecessary this episode??? They were having a sincere talk about how Buck was worried about the fact that he almost lost Bobby, and that he was like the father he never had, talking about how they both had horrible dads, but Tommy denies having daddy issues himself and when asked if he thinks Buck has daddy issues, Tommy goes "I hope so"

?????

Oh yeah baby, I hope your father seriously neglected you so you have issues regarding him and male figures in general, along with having anxiety, abandonment issues, and toxic patterns so you'll be able to call me "Daddy" while we have sex!

It's a season finale. That was unnecessary. The audience didn't need to know right then and there that Tommy has a Daddy Kink. -2 points.

I know it's only one scene but I my hatred of it was strong enough to deduct an extra point.

🤮

ANYWAY TIME FOR A PALLET CLEANSER WITH MADDIE AND CHIMNEY FOSTERING MARA FOR KAREN AND HEN!!!!!! 💖😍💖😍💖😍😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍😍💖

Holy fuck I fucking love the Buckley-Hans. I thought they couldn't get any better AND THEN THEY DID!!!!! And honestly, that's on me for underestimating how amazing they are 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 It was miserable seeing Hen visit Mara and her having reverted back to being quiet for a bit before asking if she could go home with her and then the lady and security making Hen leave 😭😭😭😭😭 Again, fuck that councilwoman. I hope she gets her teeth kicked in and her face bashed with a rock. Thank FUCK for loopholes!!! Maddie and Chim heard their friends were having a problem, and without even being asked, they immediately went to see what they could do to help!!! They are fucking amazing. The Buckley-Hans invented love. I have nothing else to say 🥰💖🥰💖💖🥰💖🥰💖🥰💖🥰💖🥰

...is that everything? I think that's everything.

Final rating: 6/10

Thanks for sticking with me through this and I'll see y'all again next season! Tchau! 😘✨

[logarithmicpanda]

Trigun Stampede season 2 predictions

Beware of spoilers for season 1 as well as the entirety of Trigun Maximum!

I'm basing my episode by episode predictions on the map this person translated. It looks like we might get two 7 episodes courts making up season 2 (or maybe 7 episodes and a movie... In any case, I am not confident we'll get three seasons, Stampede is moving quite fast and combining events so I think they're trying to reach the end of Trimax before risking getting cancelled...)

Coward's Departure

Wolfwood findind Vash in Lina's village. It kinda looks like July and the fifth moon incident were merged, so I think we'll have a Vash that forgot the incident in July. The interesting question is also, since WW fulfilled his role as Vash's guide in season 1 already, what justifies his presence this time around?

I think Milly will be introduced straight in this episode and get some bonding time with Meryl, but they probably won't find the others just yet.

Some villain or another will threaten town, and with Vash's 60 billion bounty he will have to leave rather than risk endangering Lina. I think we will also get a first glimpse at Vash's darkening hair, and hopefully he will adopt for good the hairstyle from the last episode of season 1...

2. Stop the Stampede

I think at this point we will get the reunion between the gang, possibly the dismissal of Vash's bounty, and some villain shenanigans. It would be a good point to have the fight with Dominique, unless they intend to skip her entirely...

3. Gunslinger

This is set back at Jeneora Rock which interestingly is where in the manga Knives gets healed. I expect something similar here, maybe with the flashback of Legato finding him with Conrad, and some plant absorption to heal Knives. I wouldn't bet on getting Fifth moon here, I think instead this reunion will trigger Vash's memories

4. Junction Trap

"Hopefully", we'll get some alcoholic Vash at this junction (sorry for the pun) (heartbreaking as it is, it's one of the most impactful moments in the manga for me so I really really hope they don't skip it). I think there will be some minor fight with bandits and the first hint of Leonof, or maybe straight up the fight with Rai Dei and WW killing him, unless that has been merged with the Rollo plot line in season 1... In any case, a warning that Home is being targeted by Knives.

5. Home Sweet Home

Home being invaded by the Leonof/Gray the ninelives duo :D establishing WW as a hero for the people from Home who survive... given that the doctor has been merged with Brad, I'm wondering if he will die in the attack instead... Also I expect more backstory for Leonof, given how Orange tends to expand on single panel-flashbacks from the manga

6. Long Distance Relationship

Messages from Earth arriving and Knives destroying the satellites. I think maybe we will also see a fight with Hornvalley and the Gauntlet... though maybe those will happen earlier in the season. It could be nice in particular to have the Gauntlet fight coincide with Vash getting back his memories

7. Dragon's Nest

Since a lot of what happens at Dragon's Nest in the manga has been already covered in season 1, I think we're ending this court with the reveal of the meaning of Vash's darkening hair, Knives absorbing plants to balance that, plus the Knives/Vash fight resulting in Vash being captured after Legato's intervention. It sounds like a good moment to end on while driving a lot of expectations for the final part of the show.

Honestly though I am heavily leaning on Trimax for those, I am really excited to see how Orange is going to exploit all these potential threads, and what they will do with Milly's character. In the manga in particular, the girls have fairly little screen time from the middle to the end, and I hope Orange will remedy that.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!!!!!! it’s squash anon!!! i may have made things worse.

so i came to the conclusion that i don’t really like my girlfriend. i had a crush on her when we first met two months ago but that crush is gone and now i realized i don’t like her that much which is definitely an issue given that she’s my girlfriend and stuff. wahoo. so anyway today (or yesterday technically it’s 1 am) was our one month anniversary which is a big deal to her (not so much to me but whatever) and we made plans for tomorrow (today??) to go on a date and i find myself dreading it and making up excuses in my head to get out of it (i haven’t asked my mom if i can even go which i definitely should’ve already done so that’s an excuse i guess??? i don’t know. i know this sounds bad. anyway.)

that’s not even the worst bit. yippee

i’m usually on my phone all the time, especially since it’s summer now, so i usually respond to her messages pretty fast but today. ha. today i was watching doctor who (i was on season seven who can blame me) basically all day and forgot to text her back. and then i started dreading it because god knows why and i had completely forgotten what today was. so i got a message from her (that i didn’t see until three hours later) basically passive aggressively asking what was going on. i was honest with her that i was watching tv all day and got distracted but she got pissed because i ignored her all day, on our one month anniversary. she said i can think whatever i want (it made sense in the wording of the conversation) and at this point i was honestly just tired so i said i don’t know what i think. and she asked what i meant but i haven’t even opened that message (which is from two hours ago) and my sister told her i went to bed (they were talking because my sister thought it was a good idea to get her side of the story) (it didn’t help)

i want to break up with her. honestly. but i don’t know how, or what to do. and i know i fucked up today but i don’t know how to fix it. i’m just so tired at this point and i’m really starting to wish my crush on her stayed just a crush on someone pretty who i’d never talked to.

on top of it all, i texted my best friend AND my cousin to ask for advice cause they’d both dated people before and also they’re just my advice people but neither answered (they’re probably asleep) and i just don’t know what to do :(

this is definitely a lot but help would be cool. god i can’t believe i’m having relationship drama like a middle schooler thought i was too old for this.

Hi hon!

Yeah, please break up with her. I know it's hard and it's a lot to deal with, but neither of you deserve to be in a relationship where you don't want to be in it, you know?

Be slightly honest with her and say that you're feeling like you're not up for a relationship right now, but don't go into details (it would be too hurtful). Just rip off the band-aid, or you'll continue having things like this happen, and it'll just make you look bad, sadly. It's better for both of you.

You can do it, and you'll feel better after! You got this! <3

[captainhattersvoyagerstuff]

Caretaker Part 2

This is the continuation of the review started here

Scene 10 Hoedown from Hades

The crew finds themselves in the middle of some kind of Southern hoe down. I'd like to say these no longer exist, but I'm from Texas, so I can't. Everyone gets out their tricorders. They aren't in Kansas, thank goodness.

I told you there would be an evil corn on the cob lady

Turns out they are actually on the array but for some reason, they are stuck in this holographic hoedown from hell with pushy holograms that are programmed to entertain them or something. I don't quite know what the alien responsible was thinking, or the writers. This old lady comes out screeching for people to eat her damn corn on the cob! It's bizarre. Fabulously bizarre.

A girl grabs Tom's arm because even holograms know that Tom is easy. And she's like, let's go in this dark barn to Tom and Harry. And then pitchforks show up (this was bound to happen) and it turns out this was just the waiting room for the fun stuff.

That's actually a giant needle about to pierce Harry's chest.

Scene 11: Aliens experimentin'. Ain't it always the same?

The fun stuff is the crew hanging from these meathook like things while needles go down into their chests and they scream. Harry has the best scream. Janeway's scream sounds like something altogether different is happening.

After they are properly vaccinated against weird, the crew reappears on the ship. Everyone except poor Harry. The Delta Quadrant and apparently the writers hate Harry Kim.

Scene 12: Janeway Meets Chakotay

Janeway contacts the Maquis ship and Chakotay wonders why she knows his name and buddy are you ever in for it. Turns out the Maquis were taken earlier by the same entity and they are missing a crewman too, B'Elanna Torres. She suggests they work together, so three Maquis guys beam over.

"Oh, yeah, I was spying on you all this time." Great intro Tuvok!

Tuvok immediately goes over to Janeway's side and Chakotay realizes he's been betrayed and then he sees Tom Paris who also betrayed him and he's ready to beat the crap out of Tom. These guys have some intense rivalry that will no doubt continue through the show. But Janeway just stands right in front of of this big terrorist guy and barks at him to lay off, and he listens. If I had a tenth of that woman's presence, I'd have my own cult by now.

Oh, and notice the guy in the goofy vest in the background. That's Ayala. This guy was an extra on this show more than any other extra on any Star Trek show but he only gets a name once, and a few words of dialogue, so people use him in fanfic a lot. I didn't realize before that he appears so much so I'm officially declaring a "Where's Ayala?" hunt for this series.

Scene 13 The Banjo guy

Janeway, Tuvok, and Chakotay beam down and run into an old guy playing a banjo and who thought this up? It turns out banjo man is a powerful alien who used his great powers to yank ships light years away randomly to his front door.

Notice how Janeway glares down at him and gives orders while the supposed terrorist Chakotay sits down at eye level and tries to reason with him. I love this show.

Scene 14 You thought your hospital stays were bad

B'Elanna Torres and Harry Kim wake up in a hospital room with boils all over them in an underground area where these Ocampan people live. Some of their doctor guys come in. Half-Klingon B'Elanna immediately tries to kill him and gets restrained.

Guys, meet B'Elanna!

So yeah, sucks to be them, but at least there are no banjos there.

Scene 15 Janeway talks with long lost spy bud, Tuvok

Tuvok, the most sarcastic and thus the best Vulcan ever, and Janeway talk.  Janeway laments about Harry.  His parents apparently tried to send him his clarinet.  I’m betting they had lunchables for him too.  Janeway promises to get everyone home. Umm.

Scene 16 Neelix.

Voyager meets Neelix.  I realize some people really like him but most of the time he annoys me so, so much.  He is on a ship picking up debris and wants water.  But he can help them find their missing people!  Don’t do it Janeway! Don't let him on the ship!

Neelix already knows the plot.

Janeway does it.  Poor Tuvok is embraced by Neelix.  Tuvok will continue to be harassed by this guy for 7 seasons.  How he didn’t eject him into space and claim it as an accident I'll never know.

Tuvok, my man, this is just the beginning.

Scene 17 Fun in Ocampaville

Back with Ocampa Kim and Torres are told that the Caretaker sent them there. The doctors don’t know what’s wrong with them and calmly say that they're going to die. They don't take it well.

Hey, no need for frowny faces!

They give them this slop and tell them to watch the nature screen.  They don’t even have cable. The Caretaker sucks but the Ocampa like him because he helped them out by making them an underground city. This happened after "The Warming" turned their world to desert.  Warming? Whatever could they be referring to?

We're now into the next episode of the pilot. I swear the other reviews won't be so long.

Stay tuned for our wacky baddies, the Kazon! Also, Neelix in the bathtub!

[sortofanobsession]

Bright lights and futures (Ted Lasso Fic) RoyJamie Time travel AU

A/N:  This came to existence because of this comment thread on Ao3.

Summary: Based on the request: can you also do a ted lasso season 1 one where the team and the coachs react to jamie and roys future please. so have that its time travel but they cant interact with the future they can only listen and watch them so so the future cant see them

Time travel AU

Ao3

Ted Lasso Masterlist

Paring: Roy x Jamie (Romantic), Jamie x Ted (platonic), Roy x Ted (platonic), Keeley x Jamie (platonic, formerly romantic), Roy x Colin Hughes (platonic) 

Content warning: Cursing/Swearing, Mentions of abuse, Mentions of physical violence, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Childhood trauma, repression

Jamie had met up with a few Man City players that were in town for the night.  A few of them were less than sober by the time they ended up in a curios shop. Jamie was looking at this weird little gadget that had a glowing rock in it. He thought it looked awesome but didn't let the others know because they thought it was stupid. He agreed it was just some overpriced bauble. But as had been the theme of the night, one of the other players challenges him to buy it. And Jamie wasn't one to back down from a challenge. So he ended up buying the stupid thing. He ended up tossing it in his bag in his car before heading back out with them.

 The next morning he was almost late for training. 

"What the fuck is in your bag?" Roy asked as he passed by Jamie's open bag on the bench, a slight glow coming from inside it.

Jamie laughed a bit as he adjusted his shin guards after lacing his boots. "Forgot that was in there," Jamie says, picking it up. "Some bauble from a shop one of the lads made me buy after drinks."

"Pretty fucking stupid to get pissed when you have training in the morning," Roy says.

"Didn't know I had a curfew, granddad," Jamie says in his usual snarky tone. "It kinda looks cool. No idea what makes it glow." He offers it to Roy to look at. "Thought a fossil like you would appreciate a rock."

"Looks fucking weird," Roy reaches out to take it, and the thing starts making and odd noise and emitting a bright light when they both have a hold of it. A blinding flash of light stuns them both for a few seconds. 

"Fucking hell," Roy groans as he rubs at his eyes. "Are you taking the piss with that fucking thing, Tartt?" Roy growls. "Because if this isn't a fucking joke..."

"What the fuck?" Jamie says when he looks around the locker room. They were stunned for a few seconds but things were very different. His bag is not where it had been, and the glowing bauble was gone. "What the fuck?" Jamie repeats. 

Roy just grunts and looks around. "Fucking mental," he says when he notices his cubby has a different name and he is nowhere to be found. It was so similar but different. 

"Oi, Kent," Jamie says, calling him over to look at a newspaper on Ted's desk. "This is a fucking joke, yeah?" The paper says it's two years later than the one Roy had seen tossed on the desk before. This was insane. It was literally impossible for that to be right. 

They go looking for the others and find they are in the middle of a fucking match, and they are watching themselves but not exactly. Roy is on the sidelines dealing with players, one of which is a longer-haired Jamie. 

"Fucking unreal," Roy says. "What sort of fucking uncanny, wonderland bullshit did you fucking get us into?" 

"More like Doctor Who," Jamie points out. Roy glares at him. Jamie looks back out to the pitch, the match well underway by the time on the scoreboard. 

"I look fucking fit," Jamie grins. 

"Of course, that's what you fucking notice," Roy says. 

"Well, what else am I supposed to notice? That whatever or whenever this is, this you admitted he's clearly too old to play."

"Fuck off, Tartt," Roy glares at him before looking at the way the other version of Jamie plays. Roy would probably never admit it out loud, but this Jamie played just as well, if not better, than the usual prick. Roy grins when he notices the positioning. "Looks like you're not the same striker here. Practically a midfielder."

"At least I'm still in the fucking game, old man."

Roy laughs at the petulant tone and insult. Fucking Jamie Tartt. They watch until half, and when no one even looks at them, they wonder for like the hundredth time what the fuck was happening. No one has noticed them. No one has even looked at them. Anyone that looks their way seems to be looking through them. Jamie goes over and waves a hand in front of Will's face. No reaction. 

"Oi, Will!" Jamie shouts in the kitman's face.

"Fucking hell, Tartt, haven't you harassed enough kitmen for one lifetime?" Roy grunts. 

"I was testing a- what do you call it? That is a word that is like hypno-. That's not it. Like a theory but-"

"Hypothesis," Roy says. "And theory would have been fine. A theory is a confirmed hypothesis. But most people wouldn't have corrected you."

"Oh, you a scientist now, old man?" Jamie smirks.

"You're the one testing hypotheses, you prick. My 6-year-old niece can grasp these concepts. I'm sure your tiny brain can handle it."

"Fucking rude," Jamie mutters and focuses back on watching what is happening. 

They are even more confused when they find alternate versions of themselves talking to each other as they leave the pitch. 

Long after they win and most of the team has headed out. Jamie can't believe it when the other version of him knocks on the door of the gaffer's office and asks Roy if he's ready. The idea of either of them waiting for the other seems insane. And from the shock he sees on his Roy's face he must agree. But he isn't really his Roy. Just his teammate. His rival, Roy. Jamie wants to slap the alternate version of himself as he openly smiles and ogles this other version of Roy as he puts on his jacket. They were supposed to be over that. The version of Roy Kent he had looked up to as a kid didn't exist. The real Roy Kent was a fucking prick. Hated his guts. Never really gave Jamie a chance, just assumed the Jamie he saw in the press was the real Jamie. So Jamie leaned into it. Embraced the prick his dad had always told him to be. All hard edges, distance, and ego. And fuck, it was exhausting, but he was good at it. The quiet of the office was not awkward or filled with tension.

Roy noticed how at ease this bizarre version of Jamie was, how he seemed to have actual friends on the team, not followers. That he actually noticed things about them. Contributed to conversations not about himself. And that had thrown Roy off. Especially the way he and Sam seemed close. Like Jamie cared about Sam and vice versa. This Jamie actually seemed to care a lot. And that made Roy wonder what made this Jamie so relaxed and at home in Richmond. The more he watched this unusual Jamie, the more he wondered if this Jamie could exist beneath the fucking bullshit Jamie Tartt usually presented himself to be. And then Roy is watching the other version of himself look at the other Jamie with a fond familiarity that was almost painful to watch. He hadn't missed the way the team had looked up to this Roy as a coach. Being captain was one thing, but being a coach. That meant something. 

But what froze Roy on the spot was watching the other version of himself throw his arm over Jamie's shoulder, and that version of Jamie leaned into him with a fucking smile. Not a smirk or a grin, a genuine smile as they headed to the car park. More shocked when they got into the same car. And Roy is pretty sure his Jamie, not that he fucking owned him or shit, his brain short circuits when once inside the future versions of them fucking kiss.

"Fucking nightmare," he grumbles when at the flat. Somehow they can never get far beyond where the future versions are before whatever the forces and light is that keeps them there corrects them. They are apparently meant to be seeing something and won't be going anywhere else until whatever is happening, happens. 

"If these are your nightmares, Kent, I would fucking pay to see your dreams."The future versions kiss again in the privacy of the flat.

"Fuck you, Tartt," he grunts.

"Looks like this you might, like damn Roy, didn't know you had it in you." Jamie laughs when Roy growls at him. And fuck, that sound combined with the fact this future version of them were a thing. It was almost too much for Jamie. It was like watching some toned-down version of his teenage self's fantasy. 

"You're enjoying whatever the fuck this is, aren't you, you little prick?" Roy glares.

"Fuck yeah," Jamie smirks. "If only because it is pissing you off, granddad."

"Fucking hell," Roy groans. He is glad when this new Jamie goes off to watch TV or something while Roy heads to the kitchen. It's not a place Roy recognized, so it must be Jamie's place, but this Roy knows his way around. He clearly knows where everything is. He wonders how much time he had spent there. He goes through the familiar motions of making tea, and then the Jamie that lives here joins him. Getting the rest of what they, Roy could only assume, usually have with tea. He watches as this version of himself just shakes his head as Jamie gathers snacks.

"Why do this domestic shit? The team always goes out after a win?" Jamie asks as the scene before them plays out. 

"For what? Pull in some random girl for one night when clearly you have someone at home?" Roy asks, genuinely curious. From what he could tell, Jamie was a bit shit as a partner to Keeley, but the shit he was watching unfold now. That was some domestic, happy couple shit. And Roy did not know how to feel about that. Everything shifts, and there is another flash of light. 

When their eyes adjust, Jamie stares. He knew this place. "Fuck me," he says.

Roy looks over at Jamie when he says it. And after what they had already seen, Roy's knee-jerk reaction is, "Fuck no." And he says it. But Roy is watching Jamie, not future Jamie but his Jamie now. And Jamie looks like he is genuinely excited.

"The fuck are we?" Roy asks.

"Amsterdam," Jamie answers.

"The fuck are you so happy about, Tartt?" 

"Because why not? Live a little, you old twat," Jamie says with a glare as he watches himself jog around the city, spouting facts off to Roy, who just sort of fondly takes it all in. 

Roy still couldn't get over the fact that this version of himself was not only tolerating Jamie but fucking dating him. Like the team clearly knew it. The staff did. Did the public? Oh, that was fucking terrifying to think about. No one did that in the leagues they played in. No one. Some players fucked around in private, but no one ever had serious relationships. No one ever told their teammates. Both Roy and Jamie are surprised at how long it takes future Roy to actually get annoyed at future Jamie’s tour of the city. The exhausted version of Roy asks Jamie how he knows so much about Amsterdam. And Jamie from the past sighs as future Jamie tells Roy a bit about his past trips there. 

Both Roys seem annoyed when Jamie insists on bikes. Both Jamies are shocked that Roy doesn’t know how to ride a bike. Their reactions differ. Past Roy didn’t like having something so personal exposed. Future Roy was a bit pissed when Jamie and the man laughed, but he gets it. He could admit it was a stupid thing that was counterproductive to honoring his grandfather’s memory. Past Jamie thought it was absolutely hilarious, but part of him hurt that Roy had missed that bit of normal childhood and how much Roy not being there for his granddad affected him. Future Jamie, well, he wasn’t about to just let that go. 

The time travelers watched in amusement as Jamie teaches a frustrated Roy to ride a bike. No matter how frustrated and angry Roy gets, neither gives up. And future Jamie is so proud when Roy finally gets it. Then they go looking for windmills. Roy is even more shocked when the future duo seems to have a heart-to-heart as they go. 

A heart-to-heart that changes the way the time-traveling Roy views Jamie Tartt. He looks at the more relaxed Jamie, that was telling the future version of Roy about how his dad had treated him in Amsterdam. Roy was horrified. The other version of himself seemed to be handling it much better. Telling him how fucked up it was, but otherwise, just making sure Jamie was okay. Not making a big deal out of it like swapping trauma stories was their norm. And it might be if they are actually dating. And based on the way Roy let Jamie lean into his personal space. They really didn't care who saw it. But the past Jamie wouldn't look at Roy. Watching the alternate versions of themselves are forgotten when Roy goes over and grabs Jamie's shoulder. "Fucking look at me," Roy says. And Jamie does. And he looks broken. "Does your old man still treat you like shit?" 

"Why do you care?" 

"Not a fucking answer, Jamie." And Jamie doesn't know how to explain Roy just using his actual name makes him feel a bit better. Or maybe it's the fact Roy still has a grip on his shoulders, and it for once isn't to fight him. "Jamie."

"He hasn't changed," Jamie says, looking away.

"What else has he done?" Roy growls. 

"Why do you-"

"Because you're on my fucking team, now answer the-"

"What do you think?!" Jamie snaps, pulling away. "So the reason you tense up when anyone approaches you is your dad? The reason you're a defensive prick is because of your dad? You always look like you're expecting a punch isn't just because you are a prick and get into fights because of it, it's-"

"My dad," Jamie finishes. 

"So if you get sent back to Man City…" Roy doesn't finish connecting the dots out loud. And fuck, he hates the dots he connected in his head. 

Roy growls, which makes Jamie wince, and he feels instantly guilty. "Fuck!" Roy shouts but more at himself than Jamie. He groans when Jamie flinches again. And Roy understands why his other self might feel something for Jamie. Jamie looks so much more fragile than the selfish prick he is used to. He looks like a wounded animal, and Roy goes over and hugs him. Jamie braces like Roy is going to hit him, but he relaxes when he realizes it's just a hug. He is confused, but he'll accept it. 

"You're going to tell Ted, aren't you?" Jamie asks, but it's mumbled in Roy's shoulder. 

"Of fucking course," Roy says. "Fucking kill the fucking twat if I see him."

"My dad?" Jamie just keeps getting surprised by Roy's reaction. 

"Some fucking dad," Roy grumbles. "My dad was a prick. Yours is a fucking monster. So why not?"

And Jamie doesn't know how to answer that. The idea of Roy fucking Kent protecting him from his dad was a fantasy he'd long given up on. Back when Roy was just a poster on his wall and a player, he watched on a small screen. But now there in some weird future versions of Amsterdam, Roy hugging him. But the bright light returns, and they are somewhere new. Somewhere Jamie has never been.

Jamie tries not to laugh as future Roy sits at a table with his sister and his niece.

"The fuck is this?" His amusement clear in his tone. 

Roy grumbles. "Uncle's day."

"Uncle's Day? Your niece celebrates Uncle's Day. That is fucking adorable. Love the hat," Jamie grins. 

"Fuck you and say anything about them, and I will-"

They are cut off as Phoebe goes to get the door, and future Jamie comes in. 

"That's National team-"

"It is," Roy says with amusement. "Guess I'm a fucking world-class coach."

"I make the team, and you gloat," Jamie huffs. "But fair point, never made it before that."

Jamie laughs at the way both future versions insist they aren't best friends but Roy's sister gives him a knowing look. 

"Your boyfriend's not your best friend?" Phoebe asks. And shit, hearing it put so blunt is a lot to process. "Who is?"

"Probably Isaac," Jamie says, and even past Roy rolls his eyes. 

"Fuck off," future Roy says. And yeah, they all find that hard to believe. When future Roy opens Jamie's gift, and Jamie explains it, it hits Roy like a fucking brick. Future Roy, of course, fucking loves it. And Roy doesn't miss the way either Jamie reacts to that. The fact that Roy praised him meant more than anything. Roy looked at his Jamie, and even he seemed proud. And that hit Roy again. Jamie just needed someone to tell him he is good and fucking mean it. Most people told him he was good and had something to gain from it. Something they wanted from him. And the fact Jamie knows he's good, and brags about it does turn people off, but no one ever tells Jamie he did well without ulterior motives. Roy grins when Phoebe demands Jamie pay for making her think a bad word. And Jamie hands over the coin.

"Looks like this Jamie came prepared," Roy says.

"And I'm sure has zero regrets," Jamie grins because the other version of himself was clearly having fun. And Phoebe probably had both of them wrapped around her finger. Jamie laughed when Roy opened the colorful tie-dye shirt. Roy glares at him. Future Jamie ended up having to give another coin to Phoebe, and Jamie laughed harder.

When Phoebe and her mum go to prepare for their performance, the future Roy looks at Jamie's gift again. 

"Figured you'd like it, but won't lie, think I look forward to Phoebe's gift more. That is going to be-" that Jamie is cut off by his Roy pulling Jamie into his lap and kissing him. 

"Fucking love it and you," future Roy says, and both the time travelers gape in shock at the fact Roy Kent just admitted his feelings, unprompted and with ease. And feeling for Jamie Tartt, no less. Jamie kisses him this time.

"Fucking love you too. You're coming to the match, so you needed something."

"No one is going to bat an eye at a coach supporting his player by wearing his number," Roy points out. "But I will fucking wear this all the time, but rather not get booted from your first international matches. Especially since the last match at Wembley was a fucking disaster."

"I got to punch my dad, and you gave me a hug." 

"He shows up again, and I'll punch him for you this time," Roy says. "And I'm still wearing your number, so fuck off."

They look up when Roy's sister clears her throat, and Phoebe giggles. Jamie goes to move back to his chair, but Phoebe tells him he can probably see better from there, and that makes future Jamie blush. And the time travelers seriously cannot believe what just happened. Neither says anything. Neither can look at the other. Because Jamie doesn't want Roy to see how much he envies this future version of Jamie. To have Roy's attention and affection is something Jamie dreamed of as a kid. To have Roy fight his dad for Jamie was a big fucking deal to Jamie. And the idea that anyone loves Jamie enough to actually say it makes Jamie want to cry. Because he fucked it all up with Keeley. He always fucks it up. 

Roy doesn't want Jamie to see how much seeing a version of Jamie be so open and happy to be with Roy was almost overwhelming. If this Jamie could be this good and sweet, maybe that's really who Jamie is. And that means he has been so fucking wrong about Jamie, and that is not something Roy is okay with. He owes Jamie an apology. 

The light doesn't get any less unsettling as they get transported back to the future version of the locker room but not for long, as the Roy that was there calls Jamie into the Boot Room. The time travelers keep looking between future Roy and Jamie as things get strange. Future Roy had clearly intended to give Jamie a pep talk. He hadn't expected Jamie to get antsy and upset. 

Past Jamie looks at his Roy when the other version of Roy asks if Jamie is fucking dying or some shit. Past Roy just gestures to how erratic future Jamie is being. When the upset Jamie starts telling his coach and partner how he feels, even time traveling Roy feels bad. 

Without hesitation, that Roy pulled his upset partner into his arms to comfort him. He does his best and calms the sobbing Jamie, but it isn’t enough to get Jamie back to his usual self. 

Roy can understand how upsetting seeing Jamie so out of sorts before a Man City game in Manchester would be. Future Roy loved his Jamie. Seeing him off his game must hurt. But he had to focus on the Jamie he could help. The fact he actually wanted to help Jamie was increasingly easier to accept the more they saw of this future. Seeing Jamie watch himself distressed was confusing and difficult, but he wanted to help him.

And despite all the shit they have been through in their own time. Roy looks at Jamie. "Tartt, I'm here, yeah? Don't forget that." 

And Jamie is surprised by how sincere Roy sounds. He nods but doesn't say anything. 

"No…" Jamie says when he realizes where they are. 

"What? Where are we?" Roy asks as he moves closer to Jamie.

"My Mum's," Jamie says. "Haven't seen her since I got called up."

They both watched silently as Jamie's stepdad welcomes in the future versions of Jamie, Roy, and Keeley. And Roy can't help but notice how nice Jamie's stepdad is. And seeing Jamie with his mum was like watching another version of Jamie together. Roy could understand how shocking the future Roy seemed to be. And thankfully, Keeley was there to keep him in line. Jamie wants to stay with his future self and his mum. Roy can't resist seeing Jamie's room. And yeah, Future Roy is spot on with his take on Jamie's room. Jamie had told him he had a poster from his days in Chelsea. And he was shocked by Keeley's reaction to Jamie's poster of her. Roy obviously knew they dated, but that was surprising. Roy also was shocked at how Keeley and his future self interacted. As they both cared deeply for Jamie and each other and that was a lot to process. He likes Keeley, she was a good friend, but clearly, there was more to it. But he didn't like leaving his Jamie alone after not seeing his mum for so long. So he went back downstairs. He was surprised to see his Jamie sitting on the steps. 

"Too much?" Roy asks. Jamie nods. Roy sits down next to him. He can tell Jamie is holding back tears. 

"I just don't understand why this is happening," Jamie says.

"I wish I had the answer, but I don't," Roy says. "But I've got you." Roy puts an arm around Jamie's shoulder, and without hesitation, Jamie leans in. 

Bright light hits them again, only this time it’s a lot more painful. 

"Are you guys okay?" Dani Rojas is standing over him. Jamie is confused because he is on the floor. Dani helps him sit up. He looks over to see Roy sit up with Sam's help and rub his head. 

"What the fuck?" Roy says, looking over at Jamie before the med team is looking them over and telling them to take the day off. Ted insisted they go home. 

But they aren't actually allowed to drive. Ted tells someone to get them a car. They both change out of their kits. Roy sits on the bench looking at the no longer glowing time travel bauble. 

"Did what I think happen, actually happen?" Jamie says as he sits down beside him. "What do you remember?" 

"A fucking lot," Roy says. "What do you remember?"

"I taught you to ride a bike in Amsterdam for your grandad, and you probably owe your niece a lot of money," Jamie says.

"So that shit with your old man, that's real?" Roy looks at Jamie. And Jamie's instinct is to lie, but Roy looks genuinely worried about him, and Jamie just can't lie to him. Jamie nods. 

"Okay then," Roy says. They head out to the waiting car. Jamie is curious when it's just one. 

"It's possible head trauma, my sister would kill me if I left you alone, and you died when I know the actual risks."

"Okay," Jamie doesn't argue because his head hurts and he is tired. Roy is probably feeling the same way, and Roy is going to stay with him, and he is oddly okay with it. "Fucking knackered so let's go." They get on, and both end up going to Jamie's flat. And that was probably a bad idea because of what they had witnessed happen there, but Jamie was tired. Jamie sets his stuff down. And goes into his kitchen. 

"Tea?" Jamie asks. 

"Sure," Roy says. And Jamie is shocked he didn't just grunts. If Roy was using words, then he probably wanted to talk.

Roy isn't surprised to see everything is in the same spots that he had witnessed Roy's future self use in the kitchen. Roy actually pays attention to where things are, and it catches him off guard because does that mean he genuinely wants that future to happen? Is that even possible now that they know parts of it? Doesn't that automatically change things? Roy rubs at his temples and grunts. Jamie slides a bottle of paracetamol to him. 

"Stupid uncanny, wonderland bullshit apparently gives you a fucking headache," Jamie says. 

And Roy huffs a laugh. "Fucking does."

"All because my prick teammate from Man City challenged me to buy a glowing rock."

"Jamie…" Roy starts, but Jamie turns away when the electric kettle clicks off. 

"I'm sorry you got caught up in that," Jamie says as he prepares two mugs of tea.

"I'm not," Roy says without hesitation, and Jamie stops and looks at him. "The headache is shit, but do you think we would be sitting here having a civil conversation if it didn't happen? No, we'd be at training pushing each other's buttons until we end up in a fight. Or just being pricks. And now I feel like shit because I know-"

"Don't," Jamie says. "Don't tell me you feel guilty. You don't need to. Because I push your buttons on purpose, you know that, right? Because I was raised that attention and glory is all that matters. And I wanted your attention, good or bad, so I picked fights. That is not the same thing as my dad throwing shit at me for missing a goal or backhanding me because I didn't do exactly what he wanted me to do but never actually told me to do. You are not like him. You might be a prick now and again for seemingly no reason, but I'm what did you call me, prince of all pricks? Yeah. I earned that title. You have never come after me without me being a fucking prick first. I did Sam wrong, and you called me on it. I told Isaac and Colin to fuck with Nate after you told me to stop. Because attention is attention, and I was mad that you felt like you could tell me what to do. But the thing is, you can. You're the captain. And if you get to feel shitty about that, then I am so fucking sorry about the granddad thing. You never got to say goodbye to your granddad, and it left a fucking mark. And I kept-"

"Oh fuck off," Roy rolls his eyes. "I can handle the word."

“So, want me to teach you to ride a bike?” Jamie asks, a hopeful look on his face.

“Fucking hell,” Roy grunts.

“Come on, you’ve used a stationary bike, so you get the idea. You just need the balance. It’s a useful skill to have in this city, and well, you won't have to admit to anyone else that-”

“Fine, but not today. My fucking head is killing me.”

“Works for me,” Jamie grins. 

The next day at training, Roy walks in, and Ted looks up at him. "I need to fucking talk to you," Roy says.

"Something wrong?" Ted nods.

"Yes," Roy says, and that is a red flag for Ted. It wasn't just a grunt. He closes the door to the office behind them, and it's just the two of them.

"No matter what fucking happens, you cannot let them recall Jamie to Manchester," Roy says.

Ted is confused. "Why would we-"

"Doesn't fucking matter why!" Roy shouts, and Ted stares at him because Roy sounds almost desperate. "He cannot go back to Manchester. He can't go back to his old man."

"Why not? I'm confused. You don't even like Jamie Tartt. Don't want him on your team."

"Because his fucking father beats the shit out of him if he doesn't score a goal or if he doesn't do what he says or-"

"He what?" And Ted is actually upset now. He goes out into the locker room to find Jamie. And Jamie seems to know what is coming when he looks at Roy. And it is like Jamie just deflates. His shoulders drop. The facade of bravado falls. And it makes a few of the other players do a double-take. 

"Yes, coach?" Jamie asks despite knowing what he is most likely going to say.

"Is it true?" Ted asks. "About your father?" 

Jamie looks over at Roy, who just nods. 

"Yeah. He-" Before Jamie even finished saying it. He was being hugged by Ted. And it's like a fucking dam breaks because Jamie realizes he finally has people on his side that he didn't have to spend money to keep around. People that want to protect him. And Jamie fucking cries. The entire locker room goes quiet. Everyone is in shock. Ted ends up half dragging Jamie into the office to talk. Jamie tells him what had happened the day before, what they saw. Even about the game and something they heard future Roy discuss with Ted and Beard before the City match. Ted had called Total Football. The team looks at Roy.

"What just happened?" Colin asks, looking between Roy and the door. 

"You see Jamie's dad, James fucking Tartt, anywhere around Richmond, you tell me so his fucking teeth meet the pavement," Roy states. 

"Seriously, bruv," Isaac looks at Roy. "What happened?" 

"He has spent Jamie's whole fucking like smacking him around and telling him he's worthless. Did fucking unspeakable shit. Fucker should be in jail, but Jamie doesn't want a fucking scandal. So we deal with it in fucking house. You hear me? James fucking Tartt doesn't get anywhere near him."

"You and Jamie best mates now?" Colin asks in shock.

"That a fucking problem, Hughes?"

"What?! No, just that-"

"Just what?" Roy glares at him.

"The other day, you threatened to use his balls as a speed bag and then threatened all of us at the club." Isaac is confused.

"And you headbutted me," Colin says. 

"And you fucking deserved it," Roy states. "Things fucking changed. You think I don't feel like a right prick for threatening that shit after finding out his old man treats him like a fucking punching bag? I'm not a fucking monster. Might fucking seem like I have a cold heart, but it's still a fucking heart." Roy storms off.

"What the fuck happened to them yesterday?" One of the players says. They all agree. 

"He's right, though," Isaac says. "Jamie might be a prick, but he is still on our team. If his old man is a monster, then we keep him away, yeah?"

They all agree. 

"You want me to what?" Rebecca looks at Ted like he is insane.

"Buy out Jamie's Man City contract."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because if they recall him, we either lose both him and Roy Kent because Roy will feel obligated to go and protect Jamie. Or Jamie goes back to a very bad situation at home."

"Why does Roy Kent feel obligated to protect Jamie Tartt of all people? They can't even stand being in the same room."

"Not anymore," Ted says, earning a confused look from his boss. "Roy learned that Jamie's father has been abusing him for years. It's why Jamie didn't mind being loaned to Richmond. He could get distance from his father and be the star of a team like his dad wanted him to be. But it's for the wrong team now, and his dad makes sure he remembers that I guess. It's just a big mess. And if we send Jamie back, we send him right back to the man that goes out of his way to not only tear Jamie down but physically hits him. And I cannot have that on my conscience. Can you?"

Rebecca frowns. Well, that might muck up her plans. She might be a bitch, but is she really that heartless? Jamie could end up dead. And that would be on her hands. But if she wants to get back at Rupert, Jamie Tartt and Roy Kent being buddies could be a problem. 

"I'm sure that won't happen. Pep Guardiola wouldn't risk his players like that. Once he is made aware of the situation-"

"How is Pep supposed to protect him when he isn't at the club? What happens when Jamie's father finds out he's blacklisted from matches and his meal ticket cut off? He shouts and hits Jamie if he misses a goal. You really think he is going to just let that go?" 

"Jamie is an adult and is allowed to decide how to go about his life. So is Roy Kent."

"You cannot be serious," Ted says.

"No one is being recalled at the moment," Rebecca states. "You are getting worked up over something that isn't even happening. Go back to work, Ted. Do your job right, and City will have no reason to recall him any time soon." 

Ted storms out. 

"Fuck," Jamie curses when Ted comes back angry. Jamie looks across the room at Roy. 

Roy comes over. He looks at the office where Ted is talking animatedly to Beard and pacing. 

"Ted is not happy," Jamie says. "Which mean Ms. Welton-"

"Don't worry about it," Roy says. 

"But-"

"You don't have to worry. You don't have to do this alone," Roy says with a sincerity that caught Jamie off guard.

"You going to follow me to Manchester?" Jamie jokes. 

"Told Ted I would," Roy states.

"You what?" Jamie looks at him like he's insane. "That's mental. You'd be throwing away-"

"My knee is already fucked. And apparently, I make a decent fucking coach. I'm sure I could-"

Jamie surges forward and kisses Roy. He had seen his future self do it, but now he could understand why he would actually do it. Roy fucking Kent offering to throw away everything he has worked for for Jamie. 

The team shouts at them, and Roy just flips them off. 

"Don't be fucking stupid," Jamie says. "Your niece needs you. She already has a shit dad that abandoned her. You don't get to leave her for me."

"And what about your shit dad," Roy says. 

"Then we make sure Man City has no reason to recall him." They look up to see Ted standing there. He smiles at them. "Look at you two being all cute." 

"That a problem?" Roy asks.

"No way, Jose," Ted grins. "Right, fellas?" They look over at the rest of the team. They all agree it's not really a big deal. Colin actually seems off about it, and Roy would have to remember to talk to him.

"Like I said, we'll just have to make sure they have no reason to call him back. So get out there and make sure. To the pitch!" Ted says, and everyone heads out. The team actually congratulates Roy and Jamie on being happy and telling them if anyone gives them shit, even Jamie's dad, they have their backs. And Jamie feels lighter than he has in ages. 

Roy pulls Colin aside as they wrap up training for the morning.

"Are we going to have a fucking problem, Hughes?"

"What? No! Why would we-"

"When Ted asked if the team had issues about Jamie and me-"

"Shit," Colin put his hands up like he meant no harm. "I'm sorry, you won't have to worry about anything from me. I just…I didn't think anyone else on the team…" Colin can't bring himself to admit it quite yet, even if he now knows Roy and Jamie could probably understand how he felt.

"Oh," Roy says, relaxing. "So you…” Colin nods. Roy continues, “Huh. Well, you're not alone.  If anyone, I mean fucking anyone, gives you shit, let me know. Out or not, no pressure. Didn't exactly plan on it coming out the way it did."

"But that's just a very Jamie Tartt way, yeah?" Colin chuckled.

"Fucking right," Roy agrees. 

When they break for lunch, Jamie checks his phone. He has a message from Keeley to call him. So he does. 

"Hey Keeley, whats-"

"You kissed Roy Kent!" She shouts. 

"Jesus, Keeley, the team might not care, but you can't go fucking shouting it out like that. Could ruin both our careers."

"Yeah, sorry, babe, but what the hell? Last thing I knew, you were toasting his death and picking fights in the locker room." 

"We went through something weird yesterday and bonded, I guess."

"Bonded," Keeley mocks. "You kissed him in front of your whole team. That is more than-"

"I told him about my dad," Jamie says. Keeley knows he has a very bad relationship with his dad, but she never asked for details. 

"And it's bad enough that Roy Kent is now your number one fan?"

"Something like that," Jamie says. 

"Huh," Keeley says and is quiet for a minute.

"Still there?" Jamie asks. 

"Yeah," Keeley says. "I don't understand what happened, but if you're happy, that's good."

"Thanks, Keeley. And I'm sorry. You deserved better than the way I treated you."

"That means a lot to me, Jamie. It really does."

Jamie looks up to see Roy looking at him. 

"Well, I mean it. Gotta go, Keeley," he says.

"Text me all the juicy details," Keeley says. Jamie laughs but doesn't tell her no. They both say goodbye and hang up.

"Keeley," Jamie says, and when Roy gives him a curious look as they go to grab lunch in the canteen.

Roy frowns, and Jamie has to bite back a grin. 

"Someone must have told her that I kissed you because-"

"What?" Roy looks pissed now. Jamie pulls him aside. 

"She won't tell anyone. As mad as she ever might be at me, she isn't going to out anyone. Keeley's…well, she gets it. Trust me. She won't tell anyone. And I apologized for being a prick. Then she told me to text her, so I think we're okay now." Jamie grins. He looks at Roy, who still looks unsure. "You trust me, yeah?"

And Roy looks at Jamie like really looks at him. He can tell Jamie isn't joking around anymore. 

"Yes, Jamie. I trust you." And Roy knows he said the right thing because Jamie smiles up at him like Roy, indeed, was his hero. Like he means the whole fucking world to him now. And fuck, everything they saw of the future just makes more and more sense. Because Roy doesn't want Jamie to stop looking at him like that. And that is a new and heady feeling for Roy. 

"I want to tell you your fucking beautiful, but I know it'll just boost your ego," Roy says in a low tone. And Jamie hadn't expected his body to react the way it did because the combination of Roy fucking Kent being so close to him, his voice low and soft like that, and his fucking words makes Jamie want to drop to his knees in the fucking hallway and choke on Roy Kent's dick. And the thought of that has Jamie's own dick half-hard. Jamie looks around before dragging Roy back and into the boot room. He barely glances around before he kisses Roy.

"You can't just fucking say shit like that in the fucking hallway," Jamie is breathless, his words spoken against Roy's lips. 

"Then don't fucking look at me like I fucking hung the moon," Roy says, kissing him again.

"Can't help it, too happy."

Roy growls.

They separate as the door opens, and Will looks at them and walks back out. Jamie laughs, and Roy groans. 

"Lunch?"

"Lunch," Roy agrees and follows him out of the room. Jamie sends an apologetic but somehow still smug look at Will. Will nods and hurries into the boot room.

Roy is livid when they find out Jamie is being recalled to Man City. Ted cannot believe it either. They had done everything right, but he had benched Jamie once to try a new technique Jamie and Roy had suggested because they had seen it in the future. And Jamie is oddly calm. 

"I'm going with you," Roy insists. 

"No, you aren't," Jamie says. "Because the team needs you, Phoebe needs you." 

"What about you?" Roy asks.

"Roy," Jamie says in all seriousness. 

"Don't fucking 'Roy' me," Roy growls. 

"I need you to trust me," Jamie says. 

"I do, but this is fucking bullshit," Roy seethes. 

"I know," Jamie says. "But I can handle it."

"And what about us?"

"That is why I need you to trust me because I like us. I don't want to end it. But we both have contracts." 

"If your old man so much as fucking touches you, I will fucking drive up there and kill him."

"I know you will," Jamie smiles at him. 

"I don't want you to go," Roy admits. 

"I don't want to go," Jamie assures him. "But give me a chance to sort it out. Pep is a reasonable person. He's isn't Ted, but he'll listen."

"Tell him about your old man."

"No need." They look up to see Ted approach them. 

"What?" Jamie looks at him in confusion. 

"I talked to Higgins, and he got me in touch with Pep. He stopped the recall."

"He did?" Roy asks. 

"At first, he said he'd make sure your father wasn't allowed near Etihad Stadium. I asked him what you were supposed to do when not with the team. You can't just live in the locker room. And Pep may have pull on the pitch and in the building, but he can't protect you out in the rest of Manchester. So until we can come up with a better plan, he agreed you can stay in Richmond. He agrees your safety is what is important." With that, the facade breaks. Jamie was so relieved he actually cries. Roy holds him close as he does. 

"Thanks, Coach," Roy says.

"I gave you my word that you didn't have to worry. I meant it. Besides, the team was just starting to get good. Can't just let that go. What kind of coach would I be?"

They both agreed with that. 

"Let's go tell the boys," Ted says. Jamie scrubs at his face with his sleeve and gets an eye roll from Roy as he does before Roy more gently dries Jamie's tear-tracked face. 

"Aww, you two are too cute," Ted says. Roy growls at him.

"Nope, still cute." Ted heads to the locker room to tell the team Jamie was staying. He'd deal with a pissed off Rebecca later if he had to.

[being-of-rain]

Some thoughts on my Classic Who watchthrough, the second half of season 21. I’ve got really behind on these thoughts, whoops. I’m still hoping to get through them all before the end of the year!

First of all, before I forget- why on Earth does the cover of the Planet of Fire DVD have the random heat suit right in the middle, but no Turlough on it anywhere??? Bizarre. You know I love the glimpses of genuine drama and character depth in this show, so I adore Turlough in his final story. The way he keeps secrets and sabotages the Tardis at the start, it’s just like old times. It’s so much more impactful because we’ve seen him grow and change, so reverting back like this feels like something big. Then the way he and the Doctor’s friendship is pushed close to breaking point is great to watch, when they’re forced into a situation where the Master turns up and lives are hanging in the balance, and the Doctor tells Turlough “if you're holding back anything that will aid the Master, our friendship is at an end.” This is a real soap opera for Turlough, I didn’t realise this was such a family drama. And then at the end he makes a choice to face his past! It’s just so good. Every day I pray that Doctor Who gets a bit more experimental with its companions so we get more character journeys like Turlough’s. Oh, and he goes to save Peri’s life while he’s busy with his own stuff too, good on you Turlough. Peri has a pretty strong start! Like a lot of companions, she feels like she gets a bit more generic as her time in the Tardis goes on, but her first story paints an interesting picture. I have to say I agree with her step-father that her plan to join a bunch of strangers for international travel at such a young age was a bad idea... though I guess that’s more or less what she ends up doing in the Tardis anyway. Though to be fair I thought she adapted to it very quickly- One of the first things she does when waking up to find herself on her first alien planet is to find a way to fend off the Master by threatening a Tardis component he needs and fight his control of Kamelion. Her accent is very much under development though huh. Isn’t the story that Nicola Bryant tricked the BBC into thinking she was actually American? How. I’m a big Dr Who fan who’s been binging through this series at break-neck speed, and even I forgot that Kamelion was onboard the Tardis by the start of this story. I can only wonder if casual viewers at the time remembered him at all, like a year after he was last mentioned, especially when his reintroduction here was so sudden. Maybe he was a massive pest of a roommate though, judging by how much satisfaction Turlough takes in disabling him with a vindictive “you’re finished Kamelion!” The Master reminded me of a wild west preacher in this one. I don’t remember seeing much of this story as a kid, except for the one cliffhanger when Peri opened the box in the Master’s Tardis to find the Master was shrunken inside. Iconic. Also, I know the set for the Master’s Tardis is basically always the Doctor’s Tardis with a black makeover, but the implication here is that he modified his central console to look the way the Doctor had modified his to in The Five Doctors, which is hilarious. Finally, the Doctor really says that he’s going to change his ways after Tegan leaves, then the next story kills Kamelion and the Master pretty easily huh. Damn dude. He also gets to say “obey me” at one point when trying to control Kamelion, which felt so weird but fit with the idea of a darker series.

I didn’t have a lot of notes written for The Caves of Androzani, probably because I’ve seen it many times before. Though this is somehow the first time I’ve noticed the way Peri’s accent slips in it. I know it’s a really solid story, but tbh the serial isn’t going to make a list of favourites for me. Bleak stories with basically no likable characters just aren’t really my thing. My favourite bit is naturally the part three cliffhanger. What a phenomenal moment. Maybe it’s because of how grounded and well made the rest of it is, but the Cave Beast really does stand out as particularly fake-looking. But I also thought that about the Myrka in Warriors of the Deep. Surely two of the least convincing monsters in Classic Who? I can suspend my disbelief pretty easily for most of the things in this show but I struggle with them.

One of the only things I really knew about The Twin Dilemma going in was that it was rated the worst Doctor Who story a few times in DWM polls, so I was interested to see what I’d think of it. And now that I have, honestly I feel like I’ve seen worse? Maybe it’s because I’ve absorbed a Lot of Who EU content, and that really raises the bar for what could be considered the worst Doctor Who story. Plus I didn’t really find it boring, which is a crime many other stories commit, but perhaps that’s just because this is the first time I was watching it. I think ultimately a lot of the story’s bad reputation comes from the Doctor’s madness ...which is fair. I think the show doing something different with the Doctor was a very good decision, especially after the Fifth Doctor, and I like how Six explicitly references in the story that his personality is a reaction to Five. And that sort of thing can be done very well, as shown by the Twelfth Doctor. But I think the show made a few big mistakes with Six (and I’ll always say that none of them were Colin Baker’s fault, who was clearly very talented and did the best he could with the scripts he was given). All the mistakes basically come down to the story not really making clear what Six’s personality actually is. The biggest crime of the story is his bouts of madness, like (infamously) strangling Peri, which don’t actually reflect nothing about the character, and don’t mean anything in the story at all. They’re just things that happen... for shock value I guess? Compare to Twelve in Deep Breath, whose extreme moments like leaving Clara without the sonic and taking a coat from a homeless man still felt tied to the character’s newly prickly pragmatism. At the end of Twin Dilemma the Doctor announces that he’s “fully stabilised,” but that doesn’t make a great character introduction when it doesn’t make very clear which extreme bits of his character are staying and which are just going to be ignored with no consequences. Then there’s two things that make the mess worse: firstly, they end the series like that. Maybe they thought that would make people curious about the next series, but personally I think showing the main character at his most unlikable then telling people to come back next time for more of it is a bizarre choice (Again, Twelve’s Deep Breath was better for being at the start of the series, and letting the audience explore the character further soon after.) Secondly, the next season clearly doesn’t have a strong idea of the character, because despite announcing him to be stablisied, Peri goes on to say that he’s still unstable quite a lot next season, and he definitely keeps a lot of his unlikable qualities. In short, in order to make an ‘unlikable Doctor’ work, the Dr Who writers needed a strong idea of what they were going to do with him, and they simply did not.

Anything about the rest of the story? The Doctor being mean meant that the times he had sweet moments with Peri and Azmael stand out. Him saying “brave heart Tegan,” was sweet as well, and so was Peri smiling at the end when he announced “I am the Doctor whether you like it or not.” Tbh one of the things that seemed the most out-of-character to me was when the Doctor calls the Tardis hideous! I bet he felt awful about that later. Something I didn’t like about the story was the way it used the word “alien” all the time as if it made sense to use when the main character is a different species, and sometimes as if the word meant ‘enemy.’ Very bad vibes! I hate it. Something I did like in the story was how Peri could still be very competent even though she was overwhelmed by the Doctor’s changes. One of my favourite moments in the story is when she teleports into the Tardis, a policeman in there points a gun at her and tells her to stop, and she just ignores him because she’s got more important things to deal with like worrying about the Doctor. Amazing. So yeah, that’s the end of Five and the start of Six. Close to the end now!

[percreates]

Here's my intro post thingy-

My name is Percival, but I'm cool with Percy or whatever nickname, they/he, 20

Fandoms and things I draw/plan to draw

Random things from my life and little sketches

The Doomsday Heroes (working title) - a NaNoWriMo story I did when I was 13 that I'm entirely reworking to make a comic (I might make a post with some early concept art soon!)

Star Wars (I like the prequels/clone wars era best, but am not opposed to some original trilogy love)

Original Leverage (I only watched a lil redemption and didn't care for it all that much, but og Leverage has been my favorite show for over half my life now, expect ot3 art)

Spider-Man and Spiderverse, I have a spidersona that I'll be posting eventually

X-Files (I've taken a truly unhinged number of reference screenshots)

Star Trek TNG (a hyperfixation I'd like to return to, I'm obsessed with Data and Geordi)

Minecraft (funny/neat moments and adventures of my oc and others on an smp I'm part of)

X-Men (once I've read more of the comics)

Potentially other marvel superheroes (but again, not until I've read more of their comics, it's a Thing with me, but I did love the goofy found family avengers tower fandom stuff before the mcu got so dark and depressing)

MCR

Doctor Who (I'm not caught up on the latest few seasons and it's been a long time since I watched past the 10th doctor cause he and 9 are my faves, but I'm sure I'll draw early new who art sometime)

Jackass (MAYBE.)

Apothecaria (if I get back to it, which would be fun! I kinda forgot it existed until rereading this but I did have some cool ideas planned 👀)

Potentially other fandoms I'm forgetting I'm in, or didn't add to the list, just whatever I'm into lately

Random non-fandom related references, I've drawn a reasonable number of random people on pinterest afsgsgsg

(my references and tips board has 27 nicely organized sections and a total of over 1600 pins, feel free to dm me if you want the link!) (Probably more, I haven't checked in a while tbh)

Pretty much any scene/shot from a movie or show I watch that makes me go "ooh I wanna draw that" and take a screenshot, it's a problem (I got a lovely one earlier though of Eliot Spencer with a bunny)

I'm learning to draw cause I want to start creating comics! I drew a lot in middle school and am finally getting back into it. I was never that good back then, but I'm super happy with the progress I'm making since coming back to it >:D

I think entirely in words rather than pictures (I believe that's called aphantasia?), so until I've got A Lot more experience and have built up a better mental library and muscle memory, most things I draw will be with reference, but I'm slowly getting better at drawing from imagination!!

Tagging system-

#my art (self explanatory, I'll also have #my comics sometime down the line and #my me for self portraits), #perc rambles (anything I post that's not art, I've potentially missed a few of these), #cool art (any art I reblog that's not mine), #comics (as in comics people have made, not like, comics fandom stuff), #spidersona (other people's sonas, I'll be tagging my own separately, probably as #spiderskate but I haven't decided), #tips and tricks, #pose reference, #resources, and if I draw for a fandom I'll tag said fandom. I'll have tags for various ocs I post, currently my only one is #benni enderman.

I think that's everything! Thanks for checking out my blog, enjoy your time here :D

[lauranalanthalasa]

I'm always up for some fun 😁

[TAG SOMEONE YOU WANT TO KNOW AND/OR SOME OF YOUR BESTIES]

favourite colour: I might have picked a definite answer when I was younger but as of now I've come to the conclusion that I like all colours. Would I paint my walls bright pink? Probably not. Would I wear a sunny yellow dress? Probably also no, because I have the skin colour of untoasted white bread and it would look absolutely awful. So it really depends what item is supposed to have a specific colour and what mood I'm in.

last song: something from my Good Omens playlist, apparently "All I Want" by Kodaline.

last movie: Spider-Man - No Way Home while being sick, but really only half-assed, scrolling tumblr and stuff while doing so. I only just realise, that I could have watched Venom - Let there be carnage instead, which I might have enjoyed more.

currently watching: Loki season 2 and Sex Education Season 4, I also want to watch The Fall Of The House Of Usher

other stuff I watched this year: The complete 5 seasons of The Dragon Prince, all of the 13th Doctor (was pushing this off the whole time but finally wanted to keep up to be prepared for the upcoming 60th Anniversary special), Good Omens season 2 of course (and rewatched seaosn 1), all 3 seasons of Staged (highly recommend for GO fans!), the final season of Disenchantment, the 3rd season of The Witcher (I'll most probably drop it now that Henry Cavill isn't playing Geralt anymore), Sandman season 1, Star Trek Picard season 3, The Mandalorian season 3, Shadow and Bone season 2 - man, I watched way more than I would have thought and I probably forgot something! What the Hell! Definitely watched some new season of Rick and Morty as well...

shows I dropped this year: I don't think I really dropped something this year but I didn't pick up The Boys again after season 1 yet. Just never was in the mood for it.

currently reading: Graham. Green - Doctor Fisher of Geneva or The Bomb Party and The Talisman by Stephen King and Peter Straub which I've started ages ago and got stuck somewhere in the middle. Next up: The Crow Road by Iain Banks.

currently listening to: my Good Omens playlist, here are some of my favourites

David Arnolds soundtrack for the 2nd season of Good Omens and the soundtrack for Oppenheimer by Ludwig Göransson.

currently working on: tidying my desk so I can see the surface again and don't have to shuffle books and stuff around to connect my laptop for work, convertig the old super small flat of my granny along with part of a barn to an actual house (well, kind of) to live in and fighting the German authorities for it (a flaming sword would be really handy right now), oh and trying to write a Good Omens post season 2 fanfic in English, which is not my native tongue, as well as having ideas for an original story I should probably write in German since that IS my first language, but it somehow frightens me even more.

current obsessions: Good Omens and everything connected to it, no competitors. The brain rot is real!

That was really fun! 😁

Thank you so much @theonevoice for tagging me in this.

I absolutely have to tag my internet friend (if I dare saying so) @turquoisedata as well as @demonic-mnemonic who's Good Omens content and especially poetry I enjoy very much.

[supernovaa-remnant]

well, when it comes to andor, dark, and the swarm, i like literally everything lol

like, i think i'd actually count all three as some of my favorite shows because they're just so good, no matter from what point you look at it. writing??? amazing. plot??? amazing. characters??? amazing. cinematography??? amazing. acting??? amazing.

i mean, i'm in no way an actual expert, this is more personal interest and experience than anything else but by god, i just think these shows are fucking incredible and they left a lasting impact on me in multiple ways.

also omg since you mentioned it, i can't believe i forgot to list doctor who???? wonderful show, i love it so so much. do you have, like, a favorite era or doctor???

but please do go on about interconnectedness (just not to the point of crying please), i love to hear your thoughts!! :D

they sound like really interesting shows :D if I ever find the time to check them out, I'll let you know :3

omg doctor who it's such a good show. growing up, my favorite doctor was always the 11th doctor (amy was one of my favorite companions, too, and ofc I loved river and she was mostly around when the 11th doctor was around). as I've gotten older I kinda have less favorites if that makes sense lol. really like 12 and really like 10. um, unpopular opinion, but I really like 13 as well. like, I don't know, she has characteristics reminiscent of past doctors but is also very much her own doctor, y'know? I also adore yaz as a companion. in terms of the episodes themselves and the plotlines there, probably 10-11 era, but in terms of doctors my favorites are 11 and 13, I'd say. really really good show though and honestly there's so many interesting parts of it and good episodes from all the seasons.

what about you? do you have a favorite era or doctor??

as for interconnectedness.. I know people always talk about how humans are social creatures, but I feel like it expands beyond that, y'know? everything is connected. long ago stars exploded and those explosions created the elements that we're made of. something incredibly improbable happened to create the moon (because the earth-moon dynamic is very very weird and unlike any other planet-satellite dynamic in the solar system), and because of the moon life was able to form and evolve the way it did on the earth. 2000 years ago people looked up at the sky and created constellations and the zodiac system, and we still use that today despite the position of the sun relative to the constellations has shifted since then.

on a smaller scale—people have always just been people. and they were just living their lives, and yet somehow it all has lead to here and now. and, still, we're just people living our lives. and now we have the capability of being able to connect with people literally across the globe, and isn't that beautiful? that distance isn't as big of a barrier anymore?

and there's someone growing up in the house I grew up on. there's history there—my parents built that house when I was a baby, and my grandma painted my bedroom walls, and I experienced so much there. and now that house is watching another kid grow up and maybe the walls have been re-painted, but the original paint is still there, just hidden. and there are scratch marks on the wall from my now deceased childhood dog because he was just a puppy and not well trained yet when we got him.

and the child growing up there doesn't know any of that, and yet, in some way, we are connected because of it.

and I still think about the best friend I had in kindergarten and my best friend in elementary school and the friends I had in middle school. actually, speaking of doctor who, I had a middle school teacher who was doing a collage project in the ceiling of her classroom. basically it was a bunch of clouds and pictures of the sky. but, there was a little trio of sixth graders (me and two other girls) who loved doctor who. so, our teacher added a bunch of pictures of the TARDIS on the ceiling so that we could try to count them all (we never could). that ceiling is still there, even if I don't talk to those other two girls anymore.

it's just—everything is so connected. you're only a couple people away from any given person. it's crazy to me. and, another thing that's baffling. I wonder how many times I've been in the same room with the same stranger. because I don't remember all the strangers I see, but maybe I've sat in a train with the same stranger I sat on a bus with 5 years prior. maybe I passed a friend on the street years before we ever met. just, stuff like that is wild to me.

I don't want this to get too long, so I'm just going to make one more point: isn't it beautiful how, in the age of globalization, despite all the shortcomings, we've also found new ways to love?

Bare with me, but I'm going to very very briefly talk about parasocialism. Because, for example, Dream is always saying he loves his fans. Wilbur, in his last stream, said he loves his fans. and something they've both brought up is the fact that it's not like the love you feel for a friend or family member, but it's love nonetheless. and isn't that kind of beautiful? that it's possible to have love for people across the globe who you don't know? and it's not the same love as the love you have towards someone you know, but it's love all the same. and the same applies to social media. I love my mutuals. other people are always posting about how they love their mutuals. sometimes that evolves into an actual genuine friendship, and sometimes it doesn't. whatever it is, it's still love and care, and I just think it's really beautiful how deeply we can care about people we've never met and may never meet.

Okay, signing off here. I just love humanity and space and sometimes I'm just really full of love.

[clochanamarc]

multi-tasking is a skill that she's honed over the years. answering a phone call whilst doing the laundry and cutting the crusts off a sandwich. walking advik to school while negotiating with the PTA and arranging therapy and dentist appointments. the trick is to keep the tasks divided in your mind. text the PTA board, call the dentist, and hold on to advik's hand as they move through the traffic in manhattan. wedge the phone between your ear and shoulder, slice the crust, hang out the laundry. everything is a separate motion. it takes time, but eventually... she got pretty good at it.

but now, it seems more intense than usual. the nightmares about the blip still haunt her. the therapy sessions are dialled up to ninety. she's trying to look after the kids, the squad, the diner, stanley and richard. she's trying to get to the meetings with the schools, the doctors, the avengers, the intergalactic units. she tries not to think about it. this wild, frantic hurricane of constant activity. one time she forgot to go to a meeting with advik's school, and when she rescheduled it clashed with another appointment to speak with some representatives of xandar. another time she missed a chance to call a plumber, and the washing machine broke down, locking five different sport uniforms inside. bella and rani have had to call stanley three times this week to try and help her at the diner... but she's fine. right? she's good. she's got this. she has to have this, or else everything will come falling apart. she has to keep going--

so why does it feel like she might cry when carol visits, and sees her making a batch of coleslaw, three gallons of sugar-free pumpkin spice syrup, all the packed lunches for the next day, trying to talk to henri about the seasonal menu while discussing appointment times with victor's therapist on the phone, and imploring an overbearing customer to just wait five damn minutes for her steak sub. and carol has just one thing to say, in the softest, most solemn voice that she's ever heard:

@danversiism said: you're going to get sick if you keep going like this.

she's still gripping the phone and half a head of cabbage when etienne gently extracts both from her fists, and moves to the back of the kitchen to give them some space. henri is less subtle. he spends five minutes berating the customer outside the kitchen for thinking a steak sub takes five seconds to prepare. but the privacy allows aisling a stunned opportunity to finally expel the thoughts that have clouded her head, ever since she heard that blasted name. thanos...

" i, um... " she draws in a breath, frizzy curls of hair falling from the ponytail. it's coming undone. how ironic... " you know, before he came along, before the snap, we faced so many threats, and they all came from places that we'd heard of, you know? i moved to new york in the middle of the battle, and loki came from asgard. from thor's home. so i just kept thinking... we'd know. right? we'd know where and when and who the bad guys would be. but then thanos happened... and now it's like... i dropped my guard before. i thought he wouldn't dare harm gamora. but he did. i thought i knew the rules and the limits. but there are no limits anymore. nothing is off the table. we have to be ready for everything, but carol, i don't know where to look first. how do you do it? how do you protect entire galaxies so well? it must be so... heavy. how do you carry that weight? "