#but in the middle of this season I forgot there's doctor who going on and stopped being excited about it

[timothyslucy]

so, once upon a time i tried to get into doctor who (only made it about hmm.... 2 and a half(ish) seasons before clocking out), and i rarely see dw content on my dash since it's not a particular piece of media i consume, but every once in a while a gifset of rose and the 9th doctor will come along, and i think "god i should watch this again!" because i love them so much.

[aenslem]

I was thinking about the entire new new who season and the final to understand what Im feeling about it, but the conclusion is I felt nothing, and it's disappointing, not the show, I mean I watched it and it was fine, but the fact that it did not make me feel things it supposed to make me feel, like you're killing kate stewart

and Im thinking about what I should make myself for a dinner, Im supposed to hold onto chair and stop breathing the moment she dies, I love her, and yet... Im making myself mac and cheese

[keferon]

Chapter 2 of Blurr storyline >:D

“Actually” says Swerve ”I'm an alien.”

“Heh” giggles Blurr ”sorry, my head is all cloudy, I thought you said you were an alien.”

Part one

Holy shit I actually managed to finish it…..Oh. My god.

Under the cut⤵️

Is it stupid to miss someone who doesn't even exist?

Probably yes, but hey, Swerve already has several degrees, might as well get another one. A degree in Stupidity or something. Who cares?

For the first few days after waking up from his coma, he feels like he's going crazy. Everybody has realistic dreams, right? The ones where you can scrutinize every angle, memorize every face and smell and sound. The ones that make you lie still for a while after waking up, grasping at every thing you can. Trying to memorize everyone you meet, imprint them in your head.

Because apart from your mind, they don't exist anywhere else. So that's your only way to keep them.

It never works. Obviously. Details slip away. Impressions fade. Just a couple days, and you won't be able to recall anything but the main events from memory.

Wait, hell, not days. Cycles.

His life is a weird, pathetic, fantastical circus. Earth term. Heh. There are no circuses on Cybertron, haha!

But Swerve remembers. And the word circus, and the smell of asphalt, and rains that were made of water not acid. Remembers the English language. Can speak it fluently, even if you wake him up in the middle of the night.

Remembers his work schedule and remembers which company makes the best details. And Tailgate with his bright blue uniform and Wheeljack with his endless experiments and Swindle with his expensive coat and of course...yeah, no, don't think of Blurr, don't think of Blurr, don't. Don't.

He'd heard about it. Read about it, too. Mechs waking up from comas and doing wild things. Some forgot how to speak at all, some gained a new skill, some lived a whole life while they slept.

Articles tell Swerve, don't worry, what you've experienced isn't unique. The doctor tells Swerve that the same thing has happened to others before you, it will be okay, it will pass.

Swerve isn't sure he wants it to pass.

He's been in a coma for who knows how long. The medic said it was caused by an internal trauma that decided to suddenly get worse. One minute he's recharging , the next he's gone. Internal injuries are insidious.

So it turns out. One day he just disappeared from the world because he was busy slowly dying in his room and no one noticed until a thief tried to sneak in. The only one who came to him was a Mech who wanted to steal his stuff. Huh.

That feels revolting. Swerve liked to think he had enough friends. Or at least enough good connections. Enough those who should have noticed his absence, right?

Apparently not. His shifts at work were reassigned, his contacts never texted him first, his...

His small persona wasn't important enough for anyone to notice his disappearance.

Would his human coworkers notice? Would Tailgate have noticed? Or Jazz? Swindle?

Jazz would have noticed, he was always surprisingly attentive when it came to his friends. And he was friends with just about everybody.

Swindle would probably get upset about the money he'd lost.

It's amazing how much his brain-- wait, no, his processor. How much his processor could create to entertain him. It's a more elaborate world than the most complex series Swerve has ever known. And that scrap had forty-six seasons and fifteen encyclopedias!

People, Earth, a bunch of new languages and rules and all for the sake of the end being like, OOPS! ...it was all a dream. Hilarious. Worst plot twist ever. Swerve hates it when stories go in this direction even more than when they kill off their characters.

In his humble opinion, death is better than the revelation that none of the experiences made sense or had any value. In terms of writing scripts obviously. Haha.

He's busy roaming haphazardly through his own memory. He's looking, comparing, trying to find inconsistencies or things that don't make sense. All the stuff that usually gives away the fact that what happened was a dream.

Most of his memories are occupied by--No. Frag.

Don't think about Blurr, don't think about Blurr, don't think..

He's thinking about Blurr. A lot.

Blurr occupies a surprisingly important role in his comatose dreams.

In the time he spent just looking at him, you could hand-build an entire Mech. Maybe even three. Swerve remembers picking up every bit of merch he could reach with his paycheck. Watching hundreds of videos and buying every new themed drink even if it was a flavor he didn't like.

Then spent a surprising amount of time resenting Blurr for not living up to his fantasies.

Blurr's behavior hadn't helped either, of course, but now, looking back at the past himself Swerve thinks that.. Oh wow. You weren't just annoyed at him. You blamed him for ruining your beautiful fantasy. You were having so much fun entertaining yourself with thoughts of this marvelous image, and he came along and corrupted it. Poisoned the well you drank joy from.

But that's not quite true, Swerve thinks.

Blurr was more complicated than that. But exactly how, he'll never know. All he has are his memories, and those memories are cut short at the most interesting point.

Swerve knows this plot twist. The asshole character that no one loves at the last second turns out to not be what everyone thought, but it's too late.

Oh no, he's not an evil jerk, he's actually traumatized. Oh no, he wasn't bad, he was actually secretly helping everyone. You thought he was awful? Well now you're going to feel awful reading fanfics.

Serevus Spayne didn't actually betray the main character's dad, no no, he was in love with him! Bam. Drama.

Swerve isn't a big fan of this stuff. He likes his characters developed properly. But he can't deny the appeal of a character leaving behind a bunch of questions you thought you knew the answer to.

Uggh.

The doctor was wrong. These thoughts don't go away. These memories don't dull.

Swerve just boils in them, constantly getting stuck in his own head. Sometimes he puts English words into his speech and everyone looks at him strangely. Sometimes he reflexively says some inside joke and no one gets it and he's left standing there with an awkward smile. Because. Guys, you don't understand, if my coworkers were here they'd think it's hilarious. I promise, in my fantasy world, it's funny.

When he gets a job on one of the Autobot ships, he accepts it thinking it might be a good distraction from his thoughts.

When he happens to see Prowl with a tiny human on his shoulder in the corridor of that ship, he thinks he's lost his mind.

The whole thing. The whole load-bearing structure on which his picture of the world has been held suddenly gives a lurch. Living your life in a super realistic dream is wild, but meeting a character from your dream in real life??

Freaking cursed.

Jazz looks puzzled by his reaction, but all Swerve can think about are two things.

One, if Jazz is here, does that mean everything else was real, too???

Two - holy shit, Jazz is tiny.

It never occurred to him. But he didn't really know what size humans were. Well, sure, he could measure it in numbers. But he was among humans himself. And about the same size. He was generally even shorter than most of them.

If Jazz is so small, he can't imagine how tiny Tailgate would be. Or--

He can feel his spark freeze. In fact, he can almost hear the sound of a string breaking in his processor. Does that mean Blurr is real too? Real and just as tiny and currently dead? Because Swerve was there but was too convinced it was all just a dream to help?

He's going to get sick.

He needs to talk to Jazz right now.

____________

Swerve taps his fingers nervously on the countertop. Come on. You're good at talking. Talking is your greatest skill. All you have to do is tell someone else about your comatose hallucinations and hope they don't think you're crazy.

They're sitting at a table at the bar. More specifically Swerve and Prowl are sitting at the table, and Jazz is sitting right on the table. (God he's so small).

“So uh. I got injured a while back and...uh...well, it got worse, turned out important systems were affected and I kind of. I was in a coma. For a really long time.”

Jazz frowns

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

He speaks in a mildly wonky Common, Swerve notes to himself. He waves his servo a little too cheerfully in response.

“'Ay it's no big deal really. I saw a whole other world while I was asleep and like. See, I thought it was just my fantasies, but it seemed very real and...”

Swerve mentally crosses his fingers.

“And it was about this planet called Earth and about people who were building their own inanimate huge robots to fight huge aliens and their boss wanted to launch Mechs into space, so he picked the best of the pilots named Jazz and sent him on this test mission and...”

Jazz looks at him with huge eyes before switching to English in surprise.

“Mech, what the hell?”

“...And we lost him...” finishes Swerve with a sad smile.

Before thinking for a bit, and adding.

“I'm going to show you a trick I can do.”

And then projects his holoform onto the table in front of him.

This. It's weird. Not in a way that would tilt it in the direction of unnatural. More like walking around in his comfy indoor pajamas right in the middle of the street. Being human is familiar to him, but being human amongst huge Cybertronians? Strange. And a little creepy.

Prowl looks confused.

Jazz looks absolutely frantic.

“SWERVE????”

Swerve doesn't even manage to respond, only to smile in relief before Jazz rakes him into his arms. In his holoform, Jazz feels right again. He's taller than Swerve and oh boy, he's alive and unharmed. To think everyone thought he was dead, staying up nights trying to find what was left of him, and he was on the other side of the universe the whole time?

Swerve chuckles into Jazz's shoulder. Then picks him up and spins him around a couple times just because he needs something to get his energy out. Man, it's nice to hug people. Warm and soft, eight out of ten.

Jazz pulls away but still stays standing very close. Swerve can literally see the happy stars in his eyes.

“Dude, I'm not complaining but what...how???? You just kinda..."

Swerve laughs and twitches his eyebrows playfully.

“I still speak English, you don't have to torture yourself with Common.”

“Oh thank fuck.” Jazz throws his hands up dramatically “you're my favorite person right now.”

There is a polite click of the vocalizer resetting above their heads.

��I” Prowl says “very glad you two are happy but I'd like some explanation”

Swerve presses his head into his shoulders guiltily. Prowl has the unique ability to always sound like you've done something wrong in front of him.

Although Jazz doesn't seem to feel the same way?

“Short version - I sleepwalked my holoform to another planet.”

He pauses dramatically.

“The long version is...”

Jazz raises his hand

“What's a holoform?”

Swerve sighs.

“It's a holographic avatar that I can project using a holomatter generator. Sort of like a remote controlled game character.”

Jazz whistles impressed. And then immediately turns back to Prowl

“Have you been able to do that all this time too?“

Prowl hums

“I can create an avatar, but it takes a lot of practice to make it at least believable. And to fully perceive the world through it takes even more. It's a whole new technology. What Swerve does is essentially an art form. Sophisticated and impressively detailed may I add.”

Swerve shrugs shyly. He's still using the holoform to stand on the table next to Jazz. Looking up to speak to Prowl isn't exactly comfortable, but Jazz definitely looks like he's been missing the human presence. Swerve isn't human, but he might as well be.

“Thank you. Yes! Uh. Anyway, it seems while I was in a coma my processor projected my avatar onto Earth and I...let's just say I lived there for a while.”

Jazz laughs

“Dude. So you're telling me you were basically sleepwalking the whole time?”

“ I was.”

Prowl frowns.

“But the range limit of the holomatter generator is only four hundred miles...”

“.... I had a lot of practice...”

Jazz claps his hands.

“You learned a whole other language! Got an ID!. You had a job!!!”

“I got carried away,” Swerve admits.

Jazz scratches the back of his head, still looking very amused

“How many degrees did you get? Haha wait no, I have a better question, did you pass your driver's license?”

“Two. And I failed my driver's exam.”

“Dude you are literally a car without a driver's license!” collapses Jazz on the table with laughter.

Swerve blows the hair out of his face

“Says you who retook the physical several times. You couldn't pass the "being human" exam.”

Jazz just wheezes incoherently in response. Prowl looks alarmed.

“Don't worry, that's him getting excited. So...where have I been...”

Swerve nervously shoves his hands into his pockets

“...Do either of you two know where Earth is?”

Prowl twitches his door wings

“No. Since Jazz was teleported we don't have much clues.”

Swerve grimaces. Scrap. Of course nothing's going to be that easy. He's also been, like,....teleported.

He stands there for a couple minutes and just feels fifteen different emotions rise up in his head at once. A crooked, unsteady smile creeps across his face.

He's thinking.

Oh hell, yeah! I knew it wasn't a dream!

Then he remembers the mess he left behind.

Oh, no, it wasn't a dream.

Jazz puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Swer... Swerve? Dude, are you okay?”

“Ah frag..” Swerve says weakly ”it wasn't a dream.”

Jazz looks...puzzled.

“Is that bad?”

Swerve remembers his friends. Remembers the Mecha program. Remembers fire and smoke and screams and rumbling and crackling flames. Ashes flying through the air and the smell of burnt wires. He remembers blood and debris and...

“It's...complicated.”

This wasn't just a stupid plot twist he'd dreamed up because he'd watched too many shows. This wasn't a hallucination or a disembodied fantasy that just happened to linger in his head. This was real. His friends exist out there somewhere. His work and his collections and his little apartment...

And Blurr. Was real. Or still is? Swerve doesn't know. Blurr wasn't a product of his imagination. He was real and what he did was real and Swerve left him there alone, bleeding and trapped in rubble and tiny and...

Hahahahah oh fUCK.

He doesn't like this plot. It's too much. Too much to handle, too complicated, too ambiguous.

It's also probably too late.

But he can't leave it like this, right? Blurr went into the damn burning building just because of the possibility that there might be someone alive in there.

And Swerve doesn't even have to go through the flames. He has to look. He has to try at least.

Jazz glares at him with a worried look on his face

“ That expression you have...”

Swerve puts the smile back on his face.

“I need to get to Earth.”

___________________

Swerve is not an idiot.

Or maybe more accurately an idiot, but with several degrees.

He's well aware that finding Earth in space with only a description of it is impossible. Which leaves him with two options.

Ask the Quintessons. Or look for it himself.

The first sounds like death. The second like coma. Swerve has exquisite enough taste to know which is better.

He just needs to do some preliminary reserch.....

Jazz, now back inside his Mech looks doubtful.

“You're not going to die suddenly and for no reason, are you?”

Swerve laughs.

“Pfffff what, no of course not, would I kill myself hah. No no, look I'll just put myself in stasis for a bit. Send myself to Earth. And try to figure out where it is from there. Get the coordinates. If I'm lucky, I can see what Space Bridge the local Quintessons use. All you'll have to do is wake me up after a while.”

“It's not harmful?”

Swerve makes an uncertain gesture with his hand...servo.

“If I have enough fuel. And an additional connection to an external generator.”

Jazz tilts his head

“ Why are you so eager to get to Earth? Don't get me wrong, I miss it too and want to go back, but.”

Swerve bites his knuckles.

“ I have some unfinished business?”

“Pshhhh you sound like a ghost.”

Swerve only laughs in response.

_______________

Concentration is tricky.

Swerve tries to think about Earth. And not to think about the fact that he doesn't know where it is. If he's already been there once, he might as well go there again yes? In theory? Perhaps?

Except for the possibility that his sleepwalking just takes him to random planets. That would be very inconvenient. It would be a whole new level of lost

Shit. No. Earth. Think Earth.

What's he even gonna do when he gets there? How far away is it? Swerve is very talented with his holomatter generator, but if it's really far away... maybe he should reset some settings.

He mentally starts going through his options. Does he need tangibility? Probably not. Come to think of it, it would only make him more vulnerable and take a lot of energy. Yeah, the tangibility has to go. What else? Touch, too. Sight and hearing should stay, that's not even a question, but colors and textures are not really necessary.

The amount of detail and picture quality can be reduced as well. His holoform will become colorless and grainy and will probably ripple with static, but he'll survive it.

After he finishes making changes to his holoform he thinks about his old stuff left in his house. Then about the posters. Then reminds himself that he needs to focus on the goal or he'll never find Blurr and...oh FUCK his phone! Where was his phone when he disappeared? Was it found?? There were so many personal things on that phone, he's hoping the phone was burned under the rubble. Either that or the arriving investigators will find his browser history and he'll go into another coma from pure embarrassment.

He blinks dazedly when he realizes he has loads of rocks in front of his eyes. Oh..Did he screw up? Did he end up on the wrong planet? Is it a cave or--

Then he notices the odd shape of the “rocks” and. Oh, no. It's not a cave. It's charred concrete debris.

This is the place where he was last.

He hastily looks around. Anxiety creeps up the back of his neck, makes him feel like something slippery and cold is crawling over his skin. There is nothing but ruins all around.

Blurr is not here. The place where his Mech was lying is empty.

Which means he was at least found and dragged out. Dead or alive.

Swerve's bites his knuckles. Okay.

All right.

He's got things to do.

_______________

He's trying to stay out of sight. Which isn't hard, considering he's just a hologram. At first, he just sneaks around in the quiet areas. Then proceeds to do a facepalm and start teleporting. Think, Swerve. Did you read all those comic books for nothing? Superheroes who couldn't really use their superpowers creatively always annoyed him. And he does, in fact, have a superpower. Gotta get creative, right?

He stops and looks at himself again. His holoform is going static and is a dull white color. He thinks for a bit, and then shrinks himself. Thinks some more, and makes himself almost transparent. There's no way he could pass as a normal human right now, so he'd better just do his best to avoid being seen by anyone.

He looks around thoughtfully. Hmm. Even if he's going to be absolutely tiny, he needs to make sure no one sees him, otherwise the whole base will think the Quintessons are now spying on them through holograms or something.

Breaking the rules feels...it's exciting.

All his ..human life here he hadn't thought about it, but if he threw away the rules he was used to about what people could or couldn't do...

He looks up in a sudden rush of sly genius. All people look under their feet when they walk, but how many look up? And how many of them notice the barely visible tiny holoform hiding just behind the blinding lamps?

The answer is probably none.

Swerve projects himself onto the ceiling and mentally pats himself on the shoulder for his impressive intellectual accomplishments. A creativity degree should definitely be a thing.

A degree in spying on the Quintessons' ships wouldn't hurt him either.

Fortunately sneaking onto their ship turns out not to be that difficult. Swerve makes himself absurdly tiny and hides in the darkest corners that no one would ever think to look into. Why hasn't anyone thought of using holoforms for spying before? Could he be the first to think of it? He doesn't know, but he mentally decides to patent the idea.

Finding the Space Bridge is surprisingly easy. The local Quintesson fleet is clearly used to being the dominant force in space. And that's generally logical. Even if humanity collects a mountain of money from somewhere to throw a dozen Mechs into space - there will be thousands of monsters waiting for them. In such a situation, you don't have to hide, the guards are enough.

Well done, well done, don't hide, Swerve thinks, copying the coordinates and address of the space bridge to himself. You have absolutely nothing to fear here, he thinks, so stay where you are and don't move. Please and thank you.

Once the coordinates are obtained, he... has some freedom to explore. And he uses it for probably the most boring-sounding thing in the world. He returns to his usual workplace.

It’s simple. As damning as the Mecha program was, Swerve loved his job in it. He loved his position in the assembly shop. And he missed his friends.

He quickly teleports through several rooms, continuing to hide close to the lamps. Tailgate is here. Alive and unharmed. Wheeljack is too, though his face has some scars added to it. It's great to see them again, even if he can't talk to them right now. No one will probably react well to a grainy unexplainable hologram. He's just glad to know they're okay and honestly, the last thing he needs is paranoid Onslaught installing extra signal jammers.

It takes time to find Blurr. Partly because Swerve is terrified of what he might find if he started looking. So he goes to check the death lists first, and only after flipping through and re-reading them three times does he finally exhale in relief.

Blurr's name isn't there.

So his smug, shiny ass must be around here somewhere.

He checks the hangar. Flips through the Mech launch logs and feels an uncomfortable knot begin to form in his chest. Blurr's Mech has never been repaired or launched even once since the incident. Its plating has been replaced with new, well polished, and put in a prominent place where anyone who wants to can take a picture of it. But all the internal systems are destroyed. This machine hasn't been used for anything other than being a beautiful exhibit.

That's...something's wrong.

He checks offices and schedules as well as eavesdropping on a few conversations and ends up secretly following Swindle, who is arguing loudly with someone on the phone. He says something about deals and how he doesn't need anyone meddling in his business. Then he talks about how he's got everything under control and the person on the phone is “a dumbass who's making drama out of nothing” and that “he doesn't need anyone's handouts". Then he sighs and says, “you know how celebs are. Dumb and dramatic. You can't take their words literally.”

Then drops the call and for a couple seconds looks like he's just had a large bill taken right out of his hand. Curses again, but in a quieter voice. Leafs through his contacts and stops at the one signed 'free ice'.

“Blurr? Where are you? Wha...ah, no wait. No, the advertising agency called. No, liste...Can you shut up for one second?Where are you?

Uh-huh....... Uh-huh.Okay.

Give me half an hour...okay, yeah.”

This is it, Swerve thinks.

He shrinks himself further and teleports under the collar of Swindle's coat.

He wants to take a look. Just. Just a peek. Make sure everything's all right. Then he can go about his original mission in peace. He watches Swindle get in his car and drive off somewhere. Swerve doesn't recognize this part of town. The houses here are much nicer than where he lived. The streets are cleaner.

He tucks himself further under the coat collar. He's not going to be a stalker or anything, but he's worried and he doesn't have time to wait for Blurr himself to show up for work. Just one little look and that's it.

Swindle's car stops outside a beautiful, shiny hospital. Swerve nervously tries to bite his knuckles, but remembers he's disabled touch in his holoform. Shit? Shit.

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shi

Blurr looks like a mangled corpse.

Okay, not really. His left side that faces the door to the hospital room looks like a mangled corpse and that's the first thing that catches Swerve's eye when he's inside.

Blurr is pale and thin and his hands are covered in bandages. The left side of his face has been turned into an absolute ugly nightmare. A piece of his ear is missing. In the place of the left eye is a creepy empty hole.

Suddenly Swerve realizes why Blurr didn't show up for work. You can't even show him to his coworkers like that, not just to the public.

Blurr turns his head and the spell breaks. His lips stretch into a cocky smile.

“'Got bored without me Swindle?”

Swindle doesn't show the slightest emotion at the gruesome sight. He casually pulls a chair over to the hospital bed and sits down.

“Shockwave is trying to sneak a new project into the program. And he's slowly swaying investors to his side, using you as an excuse. Tells everyone you're a poor martyr he can save if only he's given the green light from above.”

Blurr wrinkles his nose.

“Not that he's wrong. The doctors say I need to pick a new career because with this...” he jerks his head to the left implying his damaged half, ” neither racing nor piloting is an option for me anymore. I'm out of your project.”

Then he stops talking for a few seconds and raises an eyebrow curiously.

“You wouldn't have come here in person just to say that. Why are you really here?”

Swindle adjusts his glasses

“Have I ever told you why I made the contract with you?”

“Because you like money” Blurr says without hesitation.

Swindle lets out a quiet chuckle.

“Fair point. But money wasn't my only priority.”

He pauses for a second. Gets up. Draws the curtains in the room. Checks to make sure no one is outside the door.

Goes back to his seat.

“You didn't see what the Mecha project was like before. Brutality and absolute disregard for human rights multiplied by a thousand. People were desperate and no one cared to maintain any decency.”

He raises his hand when Blurr rushes to say something.

“No no, listen to me. If you think things are bad now, you're right. But it used to be much. Much, much worse.”

Swindle sighs and adjusts his glasses again

“Vortex was taken as a boy. He wasn't even out of high school when they shoved him into the lab. Me and Onslaught were pulled right out of the college exams. The others were no better, although they were usually a little older. My point is that it was allowed. It's what the superiors could do and no one told them no.”

Blurr tilts his head and gets a little all turned around to see Swindle better with his right eye.

“But you... found a way to change that, didn't you?

Swindle rubs the bridge of his nose

“I have no power over my own superiors. But Onslaught and I have come up with a plan. Look. I'll put it in simple terms for you. Above me is my boss, and above him is another boss, and so on but at the very end of that chain are people from the government. The investors. So we figured out a way to cut through the chain of command and influence them directly. Make them worry about us. It's a kind of social shield. Onslaught is a genius.”

Blurr blinks.

“Why are you telling me all this.”

Swindle takes off his hat and just. Crumples it in his hands. The back of his head shows numerous scars and the glint of tiny metal implants barely visible behind his hair.

“You're that shield right now, Blurr. You can't leave.”

Blurr's eye widens

“Is that why you insisted on ‘befriending’ me with all those bullshitters?”

“I needed to make sure that in their minds we weren't just a military unit. To keep them thinking that we're as human as they are. So I gave Project Mecha a face.” He tugs on the hat again, “Your face.”

Blurr runs his fingers through his hair

“Shockwave can't do whatever he wants cause...because of me his efforts would risk going public and people wouldn't like it and it would ruin the reputation of our investors-and-they'd-cut-off-his-funding.”

Swindle puts his hat back on.

“Exactly.’ That's why he's being so persistent right now. He knows you're vulnerable and he wants to capitalize on the opportunity. Make you part of his new project and tell the world about it. Make publicity his weapon, too.”

The lamp above them flickers faintly. Blurr takes a breath. Long and tired and exhausted and. a bit doomed.

Swindle puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Please. Don't leave. At least not now. And don't let Shockwave get to you. That would open the way for him to get to the rest of the pilots you represent.”

They just. Sit in silence for a while. Blurr quickly taps a finger on his knee. A rapid tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap.

Swindle moves his hand away and gets up from his chair.

“There's a press conference coming up. I need you to be there. I've told everyone who needs to know that the problem is exaggerated and you're fine but they need to see you.”

Blurr smiles sourly.

“My lawyer is going to charge you such a handsome sum for that stunt.”

Swindle laughs, but his cardboard advertising smile doesn't reach his eyes.

“We’ll see about that. Seriously though. I need you there.”

Blurr bites his lip.

“I..don’t know...”

Swerve...doesn't know what to think of that.

Blurr shows up for the press conference. Late, but he makes it. Just as Shockwave is presenting his new project in his amazingly well-pitched voice. Blurr swings the door open and waltzes lazily inside, skillfully pretending not to notice the many cameras and eyes instantly directed at him.

Swerve, whose memory is still fresh thinks for a second that no, no this can't be the same person. Past Blurr looked like a wreck. Past Blurr was tense and tired and hunched over. Present Blurr couldn't look more alive. His shoulders are squared proudly, there's that cheerful springiness and grace in his stride. He moves with ease and confidence. Smoothly.

The left side of his face is neatly covered with fresh white bandages. Carefully, without leaving the even the slightest gap through which his injury could be seen. His hands are hidden under a fancy jacket. He smiles wide and bright and squints playfully toward the table.

The very embodiment of nonchalance. The few pilots sitting in the audience roll their eyes.

Swindle breathes out a barely perceptible sigh of relief. Swerve, once again using Swindle's collar as a tactical cover, can't help but let out a silent triumphant laugh. Maybe slightly more nervous than he is supposed to be.

Blurr sends Swindle a sly, sharp smile and even knowing it wasn't meant for him, Swerve feels his cheeks heat up.

Ah, damn it.

Swerve breaks the rules. He tells himself that peeking is fraught with consequences when it comes to military organizations, but he can't stop himself from being curious. And from worry, too.

And now that he knows where to look, he sees things he'd rather not see.

Blurr ... is crumbling.

Swerve doesn't know all the details and consequences, but that incident did leave a mark.

But every time Swindle calls him and says “I need you at some place in two hours” he gets up and assembles himself into a human being. Like a goddamn puzzle. Tapes and covers the burned half of his face. Covers up the bruises and hides the stitches. Fixes his hair and sets off on shaky legs to pretend he's fine.

He smiles so bright and carefree, laughs so sweet and beautiful that no one would ever think that even standing up sometimes hurts.

And continues to act like a jerk of course.

The only difference is that this time Swerve mentally gives him the presumption of innocence before he starts judging.

Blurr does a lot of things that seem rude. He also does a lot of things that are actually rude and figuring them out without resorting to alien superpowers would be nearly impossible.

When the pilots see Blurr sitting right on the table while negotiating with investors, they roll their eyes and make comments about his terrible manners. Or when he stops showing up for even the most basic, rudimentary training.

Or when he develops that stupid habit of leaning his elbows on people standing next to him.

It's the model behavior of a rich, spoiled brat.

It's also an inconspicuous way to stay upright.

Employees say “that dumbass has never heard of personal space.”

Investors say, “I think he likes me.”

Blurr leans on Swindle's shoulder and through a charming smile says “Don't move or I'm gonna fall.”

Swindle also keeping up the smile discreetly holds him back, pretending it's a friendly half hug.

Swerve feels like yelling at both of them, but he's not sure what for exactly. For one thing, Blurr in his condition is very VERY VERY contraindicated to even get out of bed, let alone participate in social activities.

On the other hand, without Blurr, everything is going down the pit.

Without Blurr, all the government sees are dry reports and spreadsheets. Without him, all the high command has is numbers and a sense of impunity. Swerve is sickened by how easily people tend to forget that numbers represent other people.

Most pilots are able to draw a parallel between deteriorating working conditions and Blurr's sudden fondness for staying home instead of working. But they think the rich jerk got scared and ran away. Considering the way Blurr has always behaved at work - Swerve can't even judge them too much for it. They assume Shockwave getting more freedom is the cause of Blurr's absence, not the result.

Blurr's influence only becomes noticeable when it slowly starts to fade away. It's like switching from expensive tea to a cheaper one. The awful flavor only becomes noticeable in contrast.

Blurr doesn't lead the development of new technologies or go out to fight in the field. He doesn't make plans and reports, he doesn't participate in drills, he doesn't cover anyone's back in battle.

But he's the one who puts his hand on the government's shoulders when they're about to sign the next piece of paper. He's the one they have to look in the eye before they have a pen in their hands and a document authorizing Shockwave to stick more needles in people's brains.

It makes a difference. Small one. But still.

It turns a disembodied imaginary “combat units” into a tangible person.

From “do you want to accelerate the combat training of new soldiers” to “are you willing to tell the living, breathing guy standing in front of you that shoving poison under his skin is an idea you approve of.”

More importantly (And Swerve actually admires Swindle for this) Will you be able to explain anything to your families later on, when this same guy is on TV all over the country saying that's what you did to him?

There have been two fronts here all this time, Swerve realizes.

While the pilots were protecting people from monsters wearing teeth and armor, Blurr was protecting the pilots themselves from monsters wearing ties and lab coats.

After another conference, Shockwave stops Blurr in the hallway.

“Good show.”

Blurr laughs. Soundly and proudly.

“Thanks darling~ Sorry I interrupted you. Your speech sounded like something important, but I don't really know much about nerd stuff.”

Swerve, hiding on the ceiling again, snorts.

Shockwave doesn't move. Doesn't give any indication at all if he's offended or upset or whatever.

“It must have been hard getting here with your injuries.”

Blurr shrugs and lazily turns his head around distracted.

“It's just a few bruises here and there. Not the end of the world.”

Shockwave nods slowly. His voice and posture and all, Swerve thinks, looking very uncomfortable.

“Of course it isn't. But hardly good for your career.”

Blurr freezes.

No, Swerve thinks. Shit. No, don't listen to him, don't listen to him, don't listen to him, don't

“Your brilliant achievements have always been a source of admiration to me” continues Shockwave “it would be a pity to lose them.”

Blurr makes an indifferent face and tucks his hands into his pockets.

“Like I said. Not the end of the world.”

Swerve imagines choking Shockwave. Dropping a lamp on his head. Maybe jumping on top of him himself. Shut up, he thinks. Shut up, shut up, stop fucking talking.

Shockwave with a nice, slow gesture pulls out a notebook from somewhere and flips a couple pages.

“Multiple burns, cracked ribs, poisoning from carbon monoxide and combustion products of toxic chemicals...”

Blurr visibly shivers and looks away.

“...loss of vision on one side...” Shockwave continues reading, ”and partial hearing loss. Finally, the impact of neural link malfunctions. And this, if I'm not mistaken, is on top of the already existing memory problems?”

Shockwave takes a step closer. Not fast enough to make it look threatening, but enough to hover.

“It may not be the end of the world, but it is the end of you.”

He writes a set of numbers on the same page, tears it off, and hands it to Blurr.

“You are broken. I can fix you.”

Blurr frowns, but takes the piece of paper.

“That fixing would involve giving you consent to mess around with my head, wouldn't it? It's brave of you to think I'd go for that.”

Shockwave tucks the notepad into his pocket.

“I can assure you, neither I nor anyone else is interested in your brain. I just want to give you back what you're truly valued for.”

Blurr flinches.

“I don't need your help.”

“ If you say so,” Shockwave agrees easily. Nods, slowly and smoothly. Then starts to walk away “But you do need your fame.”

...

“By the way, you might want to wipe the blood off.”

Blurr waits until Shockwave's back disappears around the corner, then quickly pulls a tissue from his pocket and brings it up to his nose.

____________________________

Swerve wakes up looking up at the ceiling of his room. The high, metal ceiling, of a metal room on a metal spaceship.

Holy shit...

Jazz pokes him gently on the forearm

“Are you alive? You've been gone for like quite a while...Did it work?”

“Hey Jazz” frowns Swerve “what do you know about Blurr?”

Jazz laughs

“What are you fanboying over him again? Still??? Dude's smug and arrogant. Good boss though. I was hired to perform at his parties before I became a pilot.”

Swerve sits up and rubs the back of his head.

“Ah...”

“So it worked?”

“Wha...ah! Yes! Yes, it worked! I managed to get the number and codes from the space bridge the Quints used on you. We just need to find another space bridge and we'll have a pretty much direct route to Earth...well. Or rather, to the Quint ship that's located near Earth. You get the idea.”

Jazz rubs his hands together happily.

“I'll take it.”

Swerve jumps to the floor and heads to grab an energon cube. Man, these holoform exercises are burning energy like crazy.

He stares at his metal hands like an idiot for a couple minutes. Just...Contemplates how non-human they are.

He has eight fingers again instead of the human ten. Huh.

Prowl downloads the information he's gotten and immediately runs off to plan a route to the nearest working space bridge and for a while Swerve is just.

Left to himself.

He tries not to think about Blurr. What would he even say to him? Hey, look, I'm sorry I accidentally set you up, see, I'm actually an alien who was sleepwalking and thought you were fictional, surely this won't affect our non-existent strictly professional working relationship? Nah, screw that. If he's going to sound crazy, he needs to at least come up with a good presentation for his insanity.

....

Is it weird to think humans are beautiful if you're not human? If you're kind of human, but only in your soul and only half human?

He looks at Jazz and Prowl.

“You two get along really well.”

Jazz chuckles, sitting on Prowl's shoulder.

“Right now, yes. But we got on each other's nerves quite a bit when we first met.”

Swerve looks up at Jazz's chattering legs from his height and thinks. This is working somehow.

On the other hand, Jazz is the exception rather than the rule. He's friendly with everyone, he's easy to get along with, he's the soul of any company and most importantly, he was a little too much into robots before he discovered they could be alive. If anyone could find common ground with the Cybertronians, it would definitely be Jazz.

_____________________

”Are you a ghost?”

Swerve shrieks in fear and gets covered in static. He hadn't planned on talking. He hadn't planned on being noticed at all. Blurr was supposed to be asleep! And Swerve just wanted to close the curtains and leave, because there's some noisy party going on outside and bright illuminations are very bad for a patient already suffering from neural connection withdrawal.

He freezes in place like that dude from Jurassic Park. Like if he's still enough, he won't be noticed. Oh, or was that from another movie?

“I'm just uh” he awkwardly reaches up and closes the curtains “Lights. Bad for...you...now.”

Blurr chuckles. It sounds suspiciously joyful. His whole posture and facial expression. He looks very relaxed for someone who had a ghost materialize into the room out of thin air.

Swerve traces the line of the IV with his gaze. Oops, that looks like painkillers.

“Yes I am. Uh. A ghost watching the curtains. And now the curtains are fine, so I guess I'd better go?”

Blurr squints amusedly.

“You can walk through walls?”

“Uh, I can teleport into the next room?”

He backs up his words by making himself disappear and reappear in another corner of the room.

“Cool!” says Blurr cheerfully.

Swerve is involuntarily infected by his mood and makes a couple dramatic bows as if he were some kind of magician.

“ Show me more?”

“Hehehe okay eh” Swerve spreads his arms like he's presenting something and then makes himself the size of a soda bottle and teleports to the edge of Blurr's bed “Ta daaaa~”

“Wooooo look at you, you're like an action figure~”

Blurr immediately makes an attempt to touch him, but fails to reach and drops his hand back on the blanket.

Swerve chuckles and steps closer. It's funny to see the usually incredibly agile Blurr struggling with something so simple and ridiculous.

“They really drugged you huh?”

“It's not the drugs” snorts Blurr ”...it's my eye.”

He raises his hand once more and hesitantly pulls it towards Swerve until it bumps into his hair

“... depths Per…percen.. ah, shit. I can't tell how far away things are.”

Swerve just. Lets Blurr fidget at himself, while starting to feel really bad at the same time.

"If you can't tell how far things are, how are you going to drive?

Race???”

He must have a plan right? Something? Let’s-prove-Shockwave-wrong tactic???

Blurr drops his hands back on the blanket

“I won't.”

He freezes when the all too close fireworks rumble outside the window. Then points to his head.

“With this. I can't drive, I can barely walk at all, and I look like horror movie material. Pathetic heeh.”

Swerve sits down quietly cross-legged on the blanket.

“Well...at least you're alive....”

Blurr shakes his head.

“If I had died, it would have been epic. You know? Dharm...dramatic! It would be big news and everyone would be talking about what a hero I was or...or something...”

“...”

“Swindle would be so angry, but he'd figure out a way to make money out of it. He'd make a commercial about how people should be heroes. I'd be remn..remembered for being cool and brave and stuff.”

Fireworks can be heard from the street again. Swerve notices that there is a thin slit between the closed curtains through which a slim, flickering strip of multicolored light streams into the room.

Blurr frowns and leans back against the pillow, looking up at the ceiling.

“I've turned into a boring wreck. My records will be beaten, my career forgotten , and all the guys from work will remember me as a brat. In a--in a--in a way, it's worse than death. Shockwave's right.”

Swerve isn't sure what exactly would be an acceptable gesture of comfort, so he kind of just. Places his hand on the blanket covering Blurr's lap.

“Hey, don't say that. I think what you're doing is great.”

“Liar” smiles Blurr crookedly ”You hated me. I saw your posters collection.”

Oh shit. The ones he ripped off the walls and destroyed in a fit of fan frustration? He didn't even hide them, just shoved them in the back corner. Aw, man...

Swerve folds his arms awkwardly across his chest.

“I can be mad at you and think you're cool at the same time. I'm a multitasker.”

“You're a very specific kind of ghost.” says Blurr. Then, apparently inspired by the painkillers, decides to drop the conversational equivalent of an atomic bomb on Swerve's head “You died because of me?”

Swerve stiffens.

“I...Wwhat?”

“You know.” he makes a gesture with his hand that's ..unclear what it's supposed to mean. “You were working there with everyone else, and then there was that fire and I was sure I saw you down there under the rubble.”

He's silent for a couple seconds before he hesitantly continues

“And then no one could find you so most assumed you either burned or ran away. And now you're here with all your weird ghost stuff, so you must be dead.”

Swerve has.No idea what to think about it. And what to say? He's been so busy blaming himself for Blurr getting hurt that it hasn't occurred to him to think about what it looks like from Blurr's own perspective.

“Actually” says Swerve ”I'm an alien.”

“Heh” giggles Blurr ”sorry, my head’s all cloudy, I thought you said you were an alien.”

Swerve wants to run around and bang his head against the wall.

Instead, he gets up from the hospital bed. Carefully.

“You're high. I'm not going to explain things to you while you're high, you won't understand or remember them. Go back to sleep. It's the middle of the night.”

“You'll tell me later?”

Swerve hums quietly and pulls the curtains all the way closed.

“If future, sober Blurr would want my company.”

---------------

Jazz looks at him. Very intensely.

“Are you going to tell me who this mystery person you keep coming back to Earth for?”

Swerve snorts.

“What makes you think it's anyone in particular?”

“You're right, you're right~” raises his hands in surrender Jazz “So are you going to tell your friend the whole thing?”

Swerve crosses his ..metal arms over his metal chest.

“Is it that big of a deal? He thinks I'm a ghost or something.”

Being a ghost...somehow better, he thinks. If you're a ghost, it kind of automatically implies you're human. Or was a human.

“Sooner or later, he'll put the facts together~” says Jazz in a chant.

Swerve laughs.

“That's unlikely. He's got a pretty bad memory.”

_______________

His plans to stay out of anyone's sight combust with a dramatic pop the next time he projects himself to Earth. He doesn't plan to interfere, he doesn't even plan to linger. He just wants to see what's going on.

He actually just quietly sneaks into the hospital to make sure nothing's happened to Blurr since last time, but when he finally finds him then...oh shit, is that Pharma in the same room with him??? This can't be good.

They don't speak, but Pharma has clearly locked his eyes on Blurr and starts making his way towards him with the relentlessness of a industrial metal press.

Swerve does some rough math in his head. If he briefly gives his holoform back its detail and voice, will that be enough to fry his processor? He's not sure.

Pharma gives a believable impression of a shark getting close. The staff, as if sensing something untoward is about to happen, leaves the room in a hurry.

Blurr looks indifferent, but Swerve's attention is drawn to the way he squints tensely. Man, the lamps are too bright in here.

Pharma smiles sweetly and reaches out for a handshake

“Mind some company?”

Swerve's mental processes fly out the window. Oh no no. Not Pharma. Not in his fucking fanfic. He quickly changes his work clothes into a slightly more business-like looking shirt. Thinks for just a moment and adds a cap to his head to blend in more strongly with the attendants and hide his face to an extent. And then projects himself around the nearest unoccupied corner and runs out of behind it looking as anxious as he feels.

“Blurr!!! Sir, there you are!!! I've been looking everywhere for you!”

Pharma wants to say something, but Swerve doesn't even let him start. He stands in front of Blurr separating him and Farma expressively waves his hands trying to keep his head down.

“The guys you were talking about didn't bring the new hydraulics! It's a disaster, we'll have to use the one on the old models!”

Blurr, to his surprise, backs up his act almost instantly

“Really? But I thought there was nothing to take from the old models?”

“That's exactly the point! I got the paperwork this morning and...oh those assholes are going to screw it up if you don't step in as soon as possible!”

Pharma tilts his head

“Can it wait? We were actually talking here!”

Oh no, thinks Swerve I'll show you who's talking.

“Sir, no offense but this is a matter of extreme urgency. Are you implying that the safety of your patients is not important?”

“What do you mea...”

“Old faulty hydraulics, that's what you want?” raises an eyebrow in horror Blurr.

“No I'm just...”

“I had a better opinion of you, to be honest.”

“I...” opens his mouth Pharma “...WHAT...?”

Swerve shakes his head.

“And I thought his profession was to help people, can you imagine?”

“Wh..”

Blurr rolls his eye.

“Any idiot can get an important position these days.”

“Wait..”

“Tell me about it. Especially doctors.”

Pharma looks like he's about to start pulling the hair out of his head.

“Can at least one of you shut up??”

Swerve adjusts his cap in a businesslike manner

“Sir, I understand you're a bit detached from reality spending so much time in your department, but you need to take better care of your reputation.”

He raises his eyebrows knowingly

“Wouldn't want the rumors about you to turn out to be true. You know what I mean?”

Pharma doesn't even answer anymore. Pharma just looks like a discarded fish.

“…..Wha....there's rumors?”

“Of course” shrugs Swerve ”Ask Norman, he usually knows everything about everyone. And about your interesting tricks with safety, too.”

He leans in conspiratorially, effectively pulling all of Farma's attention to himself

“So if I were you, I'd stay out of any more things you don't understand.”

Pharma wants to say something. Swerve can tell by the look in his eyes. Pharma tries to come up with a witty and context-appropriate response, but this whole conversation has no more context than a typical episode of Teletubbies.

“Where does this Norman guy work?” finally finds the ground beneath his feet Pharma

Swerve shrugs.

“Block C, if he hasn't been transferred yet. He's already been fined several times for spreading harmful information you know? The guy can't keep a secret.”

Pharma throws his hands up angrily and storms away. Probably looking for context. Or revenge.

A quiet cough sounds behind Swerve's back.

“So. Should I be worried about Norman's health?”

Swerve feels the hair on the back of his neck shiver and slowly turns to face Blurr while still looking somewhere on the floor.

“Uh...only if you're concerned about the fate of fictional characters. I made up Norman's wife, she'll be upset if he gets fired for gossiping.”

Blurr chuckles. Then goes silent. Then, after a couple seconds, starts laughing again. That's a good look for him, Swerve thinks. It's not like Blurr's usual velvet-smooth laugh that he uses at social events. It's more like a quick, jerky giggle, and in Swerve's subjective opinion, it's pretty damn cute. He can't help but grin.

Blurr snorts one last time, cutting off the laughter.

Then he reaches out his hand to him.

Swerve reaches back, expecting a handshake, but Blurr ignores his hand and instead goes for his cap and lifts it by the brim.

Swerve, not expecting this, freezes with his hand outstretched.

Blurr freezes as well, still holding the cap in his hand and looking...like he's rethinking his life. A little.

Ugh, and how to explain it all to him....

“Uh...you...uh...probably don't remember me. I...it's...”

Blurr shifts his gaze from Swerve to the cap in his hand. Then back to Swerve.

“You're real???”

Swerve awkwardly waves his hands in front of him

“Ah not.., not really. Do you know why Pharma was looking for you in the first place? He doesn't work with patients anymore, he's been reassigned to the research department, right?”

Blurr shrugs.

“Last time I saw him, he said I might have implant rejection in the third ..uh..what? stage? or something? I think he's trying to get me in for a checkup.”

Swerve twitches.

“Third??? How are you still standing???”

He then quickly reaches up with both hands to Blurr's head and tilts it so he can see his face better. Using one thumb, he pulls his lower eyelid slightly and mentally catalogs. Temperature normal, pupil normal, eyes are steady, no darkening or trace of blood on the eyelid. Implants? He puts both palms up and gently feels the places behind Blurr's ears. No signs of rejection or malfunction.

“No no no” sighs Swerve ”You're fine, it's only stage two. I mean, second sucks too, migraines and all, but you just need to rest and no bright lights and...” he finally notices his hands are still on Blurr's head and pulls them back as fast as if he's been burned ”I MEAN I'm uh...sorry, I didn't mean to, I...”

Blurr laughs quietly.

“I'm glad you're back.”

_____________________

He wakes up in his quarters and can feel his face burning.

When he goes out to get the energon, Jazz throws him a look.

“Is something wrong? You're all kinda...shaky.”

“Hhhhhhuuuuuuuuuuuu” imitates signs of life Swerve “Say, doesn't it bother you that Prowl isn't human?”

Jazz smiles

“ Oh, I went crazy when I found out. But we figured it out.”

“Like...on a scale from ‘bad grade in school’ to ‘an asteroid is coming to Earth’ how crazy was it?”

“Worried about what your human friends will think?”

Swerve swings back and forth on his heels

“Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. Whatnooooo, no of course not. I'd be worried if I planned on telling them at all.”

Jazz frowns

“No offense, but keeping secrets isn't your strong suit.”

“Haha” Swerve waves his servo “ Watch me.”

[keelt9]

Chapter 1

Masterlist 😉

Injury…Again.

Joe isn’t sure if the optimist of the doctors is hardly forced or is a hopeful one, either way, sucks knowing he will be one more time stuck in the bench at the middle of the season, getting hurt in one of the most important games with the season on the line.

Either way, opposite of what people expect he went to the following games for support and to be there for their teammates.

With another win with Jake on the controls, he dares to believe the playoffs are at the reach, at the same time he knows the last games will be crucial.

“Morning Joe.” Officer Lynch greets him as every morning and like every morning he gives a hot coffee. “Thanks.”

Joe smiles, putting his hand on his hoodie. “Free day?” 

“Guys have an amazing game, it’s a deserved one.” Joe smirks, missing being in the game but focusing on the role he’s playing right now.

“Yeah, that’s what I heard.” Officer Lynch takes a sip of his coffee with a smile in his face. “I'd better go, I still have a few laps before shift over.”

The park is kind of secret. It’s an old park far away from the new ones where you have thousands of things to do; this is kind of classic; just trees, flowers in spring and a lot of places where you can sit and enjoy the view. 

The last places where you can see the clear sky without the big buildings covering it.

Joe believes that is it’s secret, nothing too fancy to talk about.

He’s been visiting this place three days after getting injured, he needed a place away from everything and everyone as Ja'Marr drove him to his house, they found it. Joe is pretty sure that Ja'Marr looks at him like he actually lost his mind when he asked him to leave it there. 

In an old but well cared for park surrounded by old houses, still he agrees, telling him, called if he needs to drive him back home. 

Three weeks later, it became his routine, coming here early in the morning, spending long hours walking, or just sitting loving the peace and calm he feels right there, the anonymity it’s a plus, a golden one.

Sitting in his favorite bench, hidden behind two big trees, where he bets on spring the leafs will help him to be totally aisled of the world.

His calm was interrupted when he heard a curious sound. 

He turns to his left, nothing, to his right, nothing, at the back nothing, in front of him just the sunlight painted the blue sky with a soft yellow. 

He forgot to look under him. 

It’s until the sound intensifies and a small head, with a lot of black dots over it appears under him, smelling his shoes.

Sniffing, that’s what it hears a loud sniffing. 

“Whoa!” Joe exclaims seeing how confident a dalmatian puppy came out and keeps smelling his pants until his knees. “Asking for permission is way too much, huh?” 

The dog raises its eyes and Joe notices a peculiar black dot that covers all the left ear. 

Observing him like he just said the most stupid thing in the world, the dog tilted his head, turning around to sit in front of him, admiring the view.

“Am, hey, are you lost?” Doesn’t turn around. “Your owner is around here?” Nothing. 

He searches to see if he has a collar or something but all he can see it’s a navy blue bandanna around the neck; so he stands up kneeling in front of him quivering for he could get a bite.

“Don’t bite me please.” The dog turns around when see from the corner of the eye a hand approaching him, Joe is pretty sure now, he will get bitten.

Until he doesn't, the dog sniffs his right hand where the cast is, slowly gives him a small lick. 

“Ok, I just…” By the time he tried to move the bandanna the dog definitely stood and jumped backwards. “How do you expect me to call you owner if you don’t let me see if you have a plaque?”

The dog blinked before barking, making Joe jump slightly, but before he could continue with his talk, Officer Lynch came running to the bench founding a funny scene a dog barking to a guy of 6´4 who is sitting in front of him.

He relaxes his shoulders as he scoffs. “Well, you met each other.”

Joe narrows his eyes confused. “I’m trying to find who the owner is so I can call, but she isn’t cooperative at all.”

Officer Lynch approches to the dalmatian patting the head, in totally amenity. “Isn’t a she, is a he.” The dog closes his eyes in every pat. “And his name is Monet, besides people around here know his owner.”

“Then why is he alone?” Joe stands cleaning the back of his pans.”And why I haven't seen before.”

“Oh, Monet has been out a couple of weeks, visiting family, right boy?” Monet barks. “And he isn’t alone, his owner must be somewhere in the park.”

“Is it legal?” Joe asked in disbelief for the fact that such a puppy walks around this place alone.

“Joe, relax.” The officer knew he needed to give him a big explanation for him to be calm. “Monet is been around this place since he has 2 months old, first carried by his owner as they walk around as he grew up, we’ve know him, he’s kind of restless for be sit while his owner is working so he start to wonder around; the first time believe me she has a almost had a heart attack when she couldn't find him.”

So, the owner is a she.

“But slowly they set a routine, since all we work or pass through frequently here, we agreed to give her a hand. Little Monet will go freely around this place and we don't mind keeping an eye on him.”

Now all has sense.

“But of course you didn't know that.” Monet lay on the grass next to the Officer.

“How can he know when it's time to go? I mean she will look out for him all over the place?” Joe scans the puppy, probably around 4-5 months old.

“She whistles.” Officer Lynch smiles. “He hears it and then he will run to find her.”

Joe highly doubts that can be possible for a puppy.

“How do you know he is Monet, could be any other dalmatian?” Why is he so curious?

“This.” The Officer points to the bandanna. “Monet always has a blue or green one. If he doesn't, then he isn't Monet.”

Monet raises his head, to stand fully a second later.

“Time to go Monet.” Officer Lynch said patting his head. “See you tomorrow.”

Monet barks before running and gets lost among the trees.

“See? It's time to leave.” Joe bliks in disbelief, how can hear something?

Officer Lynch receive the call, time to change shifts. “Well, Joe, see you tomorrow too.”

Joe smiles and nods, having more questions than answers for such a puppy.

For 2 weeks, Joe and Monet find each other on the same bench, at the beginning they just barely see each other but by the second week Joe carefully pat his head, still Monet simply ignores him as he keeps seeing the blue sky.

With Christmas around the corner presents are a daily thing.

“What can you give a dog?” Tee turns his head around, for hearing better.

“What?” Trey, even sitting next to Joe is confused for a random question.

They flew backwards from Pittsburgh, with a loss he tried to distract them.

“Yeah, what would you give to a dog?” Joe asked one more time scrolling in his phone about leashes.

Tee sees Trey who shakes his head. “You don't have a dog.”

Trey has a point. “You're a cat boy, too.” Tee has another good point.

“I met a puppy, a cute one, so before Christmas I like to give something.” Joe sees them with weird expressions on their faces. 

“And who is the owner?” Trey asked. “That must help, ask and then give something that the puppy likes.” 

“That's the problem!” Joe says it's frustrating to not know such a basic thing. “I don't know who she is.”

Tee giggles. “What a story! Joey doesn't know a girl but he knows the puppy and the present is for the puppy.”

Joe laughs. “I care about the puppy, not about the owner.”

Trey smiles while putting his headphones on. “I guess a simple dog prize must be enough.”

It sounds simple until he arrives at a pet store and  he sees more than 3 options of snacks.

Joe's confusion must be so evident for the way a boy approached and asked him.

“Do you need help?” A boy in uniform from the store points to the snacks. 

“Yeah, which one of those is the best?” The boy blinks confused for the fact Joe points from side to side of the shelf. 

“Am, it depends, your dog has a special type of diet or something like that?” Joe opened his eyes that even hadn't crossed his mind.

“Diet?” He whispers more to himself but it’s audible for the boy.

“Yeah, sometimes a dog has a certain type of diet and you must be stuck to a special…” Joe tilts his head to the left more and more. “Isn’t your dog, right?” 

Joe giggles. “Not, is not.” 

“Right, in that case, if you don’t mind, why don't you pick a toy, all dogs love toys.” Joe sees the boy who points to the other side of the corridor. 

But he finds equally lost, the squeaky one, the fluffy ones, the hard ones, a frisbee. 

“Maybe the name could give you a clue.” The boy waits next to him.

Joe sighs. “His name is Monet.” 

“Like the painter.” The boys hear another man speak behind them. “A french painter, Claude Monet.” 

He’s on the back shelfs picking a cat toy. “Sorry for the interruption. Big fan Joe.” He shakes hands with Joe. “But that could be the reason.”

The boy gasps. “Oh, we have a fluffy toy with the shape of a paintbrush.” The boy started to look in the basket until he found it.

And it actually is, a fake red paintbrush, any squeaky sound just fluffy and light.

“Perfect, thanks.” Joe said after the toy has a pretty wrapping. 

The boy who helps him and the cashier smiles, for seconds later adding, who dey?

For a week Joe waited but Christmas passed as New Year too and Monte didn't come. Every morning he arrives at the same bench with the toy in his hands and leaves after a couple of hours with the same toy in his hands.

After the last press conference of the season Ja’Marr waits for driving him home, even though he insisted he can already drive, both of them were so stubborn for letting one drive and the other let the other drive.

“Come on Joe! You can show me where you spend your mornings that lately you look so defeated.” Ja'Marr smiles seeing Joe quiver, a second later opening the door of  the passenger seat. 

“Where?” Ja’Marr asked as Joe typed the direction on the screen.

Ja’Marr feels kind of defeated too, just arriving at the place, the same old park for the first time. He side-eye to him, as Joe, still he didn't say anything when they walk inside, Chase clearly surprised of how good care the park is and more surprised by the fact a lot of people say hi to Joe, and he doesn’t seem uncomfortable at all. 

A bark scares Ja’Marr but Joe turns around quickly with a smile on his face. 

Chase simply couldn’t believe a dalmatian running to Joe jumping over him when his best friend patted his chest with his left hand as he stood on his two legs waiting for Joe to pat his head.

For the size Chase calculates he will be 4 probably 6 months old but by the confidence they have it seems that they have already met for a long time. 

“Hey buddy!” Joe keeps patting his head so Ja’Marr actually has to lean to witness that smile.

“He’s a dog.” Joe nods but he keeps seeing Monet running around him. “Joe?”

“His name is…” 

“MONET!” The female voice makes Ja’Marr feel relieved, of course, the owner dog, that’s why he feels so defeated.

“Where are you?!” Joe looked around and he didn’t recognize the voice, so any one of the people working in the park must be.

Monet barks, calling for the girl to find him. After a couple of seconds, a girl with a big jacket and jeans appears with a leash on her hands. 

Probably finding two NFL players here is out of her dreams for the way she stops dry and her cheeks turns in a burning red.

Monet runs back to the girl sitting in front of her. “Sorry, we didn’t mean to scare you.” Joe said, putting his hands on his pockets.

“Oh, am, no…Sorry. I mean.” She takes a deep breath. “I was just scared, Monet runs so fast and normally he doesn’t do that.”

“You didn’t know?” Ja’Marr asks speechless for the way they look as totally strange. 

“No, we don’t.” Joe said sharply and clearly. “Am, Joe.”

“Yes, I know.” The girl smiles and walks closer. “And Ja’Marr, right?”

Chase smirks and nods. “A pleasure.”

Joe sees Monet sitting next to the girl when she stands in front of them. “Monet is such a good boy.”

“I know, that’s why I get scared. He is a good behaved boy.” She put the las over his lapels. “His owner will rip my head if I lose him.”

Wait, she isn’t the owner of Monet.

“You're not the owner?” Ja’Marr reads Joe's mind before he can even speak.

She stands after making sure Monet is comfortable.

“Oh no, I'm Nora, I know her, well…” Nora thinks for a second. “My sister is her best friend.”

Joe is utterly confused, now.

“She's been snowed under with work and she hasn't been able to take out Monet, so I finish early my school duties and offer to take him for a walk.” Monet smells Ja’Marr hands, making him smile. “She told me this is his favourite park. Now I know why.”

The guys couldn't avoid giggling because of the way she opens her eyes and smiles, of course, she's a teenager. 

Her phone starts to sound so she picks up. “Yes, sorry I got distracted…Oh don't worry, we call an Uber…Not worries, he's fine…Bye.”

She saved it in her pocket one more time. “Your mom Monet, time to go home.” She smiles at the boys. “It's been a pleasure, we must go.”

The boys nod and say goodbye observing Monet and the girl going to the entrance as she takes a quick glimpse, unable to believe what her eyes saw. 

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEFEATED FOR THE GIRL MAN!” Chase raises his hands in the air. “For a dog?”

“I bought him a nice present and he disappeared! I was worried something could happen to him.” Joe laughs walking back to the car. “It's just a puppy.”

Ja’Marr shakes his head. “You're one of a kind man, one of the kind.”

Savannah arrives with her sister Nora to Y/N house with a happy Monet running to the studio.

“Hey my love!” Y/N smiles as Monet gets between her legs under the table.

Monet waits for a kiss in the top of his head before running back to the living room.

“God! If this is more dark I could actually believe you're living in a cave.” Savannah said point the switch warning she will light on all the lights bubbles, like it supposed to be.

Y/N takes her glasses and closes her eyes to get used to the light. 

“What time is it?” By the time she opens the soft white light covers all her studio.

Savannah smiles observing the usual mess when she's so much work, Nora appears next to her sister.

“7 pm, have you even eaten?” See the half bag of chips next to her. “That definitely doesn't count.”

Y/N giggles. “I almost finished, one more layer and this is over.” She laid back on her chair observing her computer, laptop, tablet and a lot of pens all over her desk.

“He behaves?” Said moving her eyes to Nora as she picked up a sketch from the floor.

“Yeah, all good. A small mischief but all under control.” Nora mentions remembering the words of her sister.

<Let's keep between us, if Y/N knows we almost lost Monet she will want to do more than rip some heads.>

“Thanks for taking him out, one more day inside of the house and he will go crazy.” Monet barks to his owner. “Or I.”

“What about pasta?!” Savannah screams from the kitchen. “Forget it, I found shrimps.”

Y/N and Nora roll their eyes. 

“Anytime, I mean it.” Nora giggles remembering her unexpected meeting.

“Don't worry, I'm sending this tonight and I'll go back to normal.”

Y/N stands hearing how her back and legs crack due the hours sitting. 

“I need some fresh air too.” They walk to the kitchen. “Besides, you're about to enter your finals.” Y/N shakes her head. “Focus on that.”

“Wise advice, hear her.” Savannah adds as sauté the shrimps. “You almost finished?”

Savannah sees the canva over the sofa. A couple of months ago it was a plain empty canva, now it's a beautiful paint of a garden in autumn, orange leaves and yellow over the floor as a few green keeps on the branches. 

“Yes, a couple of weeks more and it'll be complete.” Y/N said, perking over the stove seeing her dinner.

“You absolutely have gorgeous views there.” Almost drool just thinking at that moment. 

Y/N looks at Monet with narrow eyes, who just sighs and lays his head over his left paw as he gets comfortable in his bed.

[sabrinajenre96]

"All That Matters"

Chicago P.D. (Season 3) — Kenny Rixton x Voight!Reader One-Shot

Warning: gunshots, mention of blood

The day had started like any other.

Y/N Voight was finishing up paperwork at SVU when her phone rang — not the work one, but her personal. That alone made her stomach twist.

“Mrs. Rixton?” the voice asked, formal and clinical.

“Yes,” she said, standing up so fast her chair nearly fell.

“There’s been an incident. Your husband’s been brought into Med—GSW to the abdomen. He’s stable for now, but he’s in surgery.”

The phone nearly slipped from her hand. Her heart pounded against her ribs as if trying to escape. “I’m coming,” she managed to whisper before bolting from her desk.

---

She ran into Chicago Med like a woman possessed — pushing past patients and nurses, her badge flapping at her hip. Her partner, Detective Kara Morales, wasn’t far behind, trying to catch up.

Y/N spotted the trauma surgeon in scrubs. “I’m looking for Detective Kenny Rixton—he was brought in with a GSW!”

The doctor looked up from a chart. “Who are you to the patient?”

“His wife,” Y/N said, breathless.

A stunned silence fell over the waiting area. That’s when she noticed them — the entire Intelligence Unit. Antonio. Ruzek. Atwater. Lindsay. Halstead. Even Sarge Platt. And standing right in the middle: her father, Hank Voight.

They all stared at her like she’d just grown a second head.

“You’re... Rixton’s wife?” Ruzek asked, stunned.

Y/N blinked, finally catching up to the moment. “Yeah. For three years now.”

“I knew something was off about that smile of yours lately,” Platt muttered, eyebrows raised.

Voight stepped forward, his face hard but lined with worry. “They were ambushed. Antonio and Kenny were working a joint undercover op. Someone got wind. Opened fire.”

Y/N’s chest tightened. “And Antonio?”

“Bruised, but he’s fine. It’s Kenny who took the worst of it.”

Kara stepped up beside Y/N, placing a hand on her shoulder. “We’re here, okay?”

The waiting was agony. Every second felt like an hour. Then the OR doors burst open and a nurse rushed over to the doctor.

“There’s a complication,” the nurse said urgently. “He’s hemorrhaging. We need blood—O negative. The bank’s low. Too many trauma cases.”

“I’ll donate,” Y/N said immediately. “I’m O neg.”

The nurse nodded, but Kara grabbed her arm before she could move. “Y/N, no. You can’t.”

“What? Why not?” she asked, spinning toward her partner.

Kara looked between her and Voight, hesitant. “Because you just found out you’re pregnant.”

The world stopped. The noise faded.

She blinked. “How—?”

“You told me yesterday, remember?” Kara said gently. “You were so excited—then all this happened.”

Y/N’s hand flew to her stomach. Oh god. She forgot. Kenny didn’t even know yet.

“I’ll donate,” Kara said quickly. “I’m O negative too.”

Y/N sank into a chair, trembling.

Erin Lindsay walked over and crouched beside her. “Hey. He’s tough, okay? He’s going to make it. He loves you. He has something to come back to.”

Tears streamed down Y/N’s cheeks as she nodded. “I never even told him... about the baby.”

---

Hours passed.

Finally, the surgeon emerged, looking exhausted but smiling.

“He made it,” he said.

Relief flooded Y/N so fast her knees nearly gave. Voight caught her and helped her stand.

“He lost a lot of blood,” the surgeon continued. “But your friend’s donation helped. We managed to stop the bleeding. He’s stable now. You can see him soon.”

---

Y/N entered the recovery room slowly, heart pounding, eyes stinging.

Kenny looked pale and tired but alive.

His eyes fluttered open. “Hey... beautiful.”

A sob escaped her throat as she rushed to his side. “You scared the hell out of me.”

“Sorry... occupational hazard,” he rasped.

She laughed through her tears. “There’s something I didn’t get to tell you...”

Kenny raised a brow.

“I’m pregnant.”

His eyes widened. “Wait—are you serious?”

She nodded, taking his hand and placing it over her stomach.

A slow, emotional smile spread across his face. “You and me... we're really doing this.”

“Yeah,” she whispered. “We are.”

---

Back in the hallway, Voight stood watching through the glass, arms crossed.

Erin joined him. “You okay, Sarge?”

He exhaled slowly. “Wasn’t sure I’d ever trust a guy enough to marry my daughter... but Rixton proved me wrong.”

“You knew all along, didn’t you?”

Voight smirked. “Course I did. I just chose to let them have their secret.”

Erin smiled. “They won’t be able to hide anything now.”

“No,” Voight said. “And they shouldn’t have to.”

---

End.

[teecupangel]

As someone who very recently came into possession of a labradoodle who is more poodle than lab, how about that for dog!des? Specifically the fact that their fur is a fucking nightmare to deal with if not brushed regularly. Like twice a day regularly.

(We’ve been making fun of Malik for a while now so let’s change things up)

Shaun was an awful owner.

Truly.

He should never be in charge of any pet at all.

Desmond felt like his second life as a labradoodle is his own personal hell than a chance for a second life.

Forget about his plans to become the most awesome Assassin dog once he grew bigger.

He wasn’t going to survive his life as a puppy because the new mentor (some dude named Elijah) ordered Shaun and Rebecca to take care of him.

Okay.

Rebecca was awesome.

She never forgot his meal time. She walk him around the little suburban compound they were staying at the moment every morning and every afternoon. She let him run around the house and threw balls for him to chase (look, Desmond learned early on that he cannot fight certain canine urge, it was part of the whole “I got reincarnated into a dog” deal).

But she was, and Desmond could not stress this enough, nine months pregnant since last week.

Desmond couldn’t even wrap his head around the whole “yeah, Shaun and Rebecca are now married and soon will have their first kid” thing.

So…

Rebecca was ordered by a doctor named Chewy to rest and to not do any stressful and/or strenuous activities.

And, according to Shaun, Desmond was a stressful and strenuous activity.

First of all, fuck Shaun.

Second of all, Chewy also told Rebecca to try and move around the house and Desmond accompanied her whenever she did and, not once, did Rebecca call him a stress fur ball (like Shaun).

Third of all, Desmond knew that Shaun was actually the most stressed among the three of them. He was worried about Rebecca and he was still doing work for the Brotherhood.

But still…

“What happened to you? Why is your fur like this?”

He was so awful at taking care of Desmond.

He didn’t forget meal time (thank god) but that was because they timed his meal time at the same time as their meal time. Rebecca reminded Shaun to eat with her each time and Shaun automatically prepares Desmond’s food during that time (according to Rebecca, the mentor told them that Desmond cannot eat dog food so Desmond’s food is usually rice, some kind of meat and a bit of vegetables that are okay for him to eat, all… not seasoned at all but Desmond can deal with that)

Walk though… Desmond had to bark at Shaun just to remind him to walk him. One time, Shaun was in the middle of a debate (via messenger) with one of Erudito’s hackers and Desmond just gave up and peed on his leg.

No.

Desmond was not embarrassed. He lost all semblance of human embarrassment when he first had to shit on the grass while Rebecca was watching.

Now, all he felt was smugness whenever Shaun would sigh but grab his jacket so they could take a walk.

But Shaun’s worst offense was his inability to remember Rebecca telling him that Desmond needs to be brushed often.

Like…

At least twice a day.

Thrice would be better.

Rebecca usually brushed him after every meal and after their walk.

Because she knew how much of a nightmare his fur would become if it wasn’t properly cared.

But Shaun.

Shaun kept forgetting it and Desmond had to sit still while Shaun grumbled as he brushed his fur.

Seriously…

Desmond was honestly worried that Shaun would have this much trouble caring for their future baby.

Desmond would probably have to step up as the dog nanny.

Yippee.

[ceremonialmagic101]

Hey hi! I saw your post about Capricorn season & Akephalos and you mentioned Asklepios. May I ask if you could please explain the association? I don't know anything about the topic and I feel really dumb asking for this.

Thank you if you'll answer, and have a great 2025!

Sure.

I'm going to have to go into a lot of detail here on the astronomy that underlies the astrology.

You may have seen some bits and bobs from time to time about how "NASA says the astrologers are wrong because there are thirteen signs in the Zodiac! They forgot Ophiuchus!" And that's bullshit, because there are — and always have been — only twelve signs.

But signs and constellations are not the same thing. Signs are zones of abstract latitude in the sky, while constellations are mappings of star-groups. It may be helpful to think of signs as sectors of 30° units of latitude — which, is, say, the east-west distance from London to Estonia, or New York City to western Nebraska, or from say, Sydney Australia to Singapore. Note that I'm not talking about the north-south axis at all or the diagonal "as the crow flies" distance... just the "width" on the map, as it were. So that's signs.

Constellations, on the other hand, are more like countries with fixed borders. And it is true that there are more constellations in the Zodiac than there are signs. I think there are fifteen? — the twelve constellations for which the signs are named, plus Ophiuchus, Orion, and Cetus... and while Ophiuchus DEFINITELY crosses the line of the Ecliptic (the Sun's apparent path across the sky month to month), Orion and Cetus just-just touch it, although I'm not an expert on exactly how astronomers draw the sector lines of the 88 official constellations, and when it comes to the little corners and edges of Orion and Cetus, they might touch the line of the Ecliptic in some years and in other years they might not. And I don't know if they drew the constellation lines for rational reasons, or if it was more like for politically charged reasons like drawing the Radcliffe Line separating India from Pakistan in 1947...

Anyway.

We're left with one constellation that DOES cross the Ecliptic, but IS NOT a sign: Ophiuchus.

Now, Ophiuchus is "the snake handler". And a large number of ancient sources agree that the snake-handler in question is Asklepios or Asclepius the physician-god of ancient Greece (and sometimes called "Paion" because that's the name of the healer with the Achaean army in Homer's Iliad). The ancient astronomer/astrologer Marcus Manilius associates 'the bright star of Ophiuchus" with poisons, with medicines, and with protection from illness; and other ancient texts, some by anonymous authors, credit the star Ras Alhague (sometimes one word, Rasalhague, also α Ophiuchi, the brightest star of Ophiuchus... all the same thing ) with the profession ιατρων, (Latinized to iatron)... that is "healer" or "physician" or "doctor" (a doctor who uses astrology in their practice is called an ιατρωμαθεματκοσ, iatromathimatikos, or "healer who uses [star-]math").

Today, Ras Alhague is usually assigned to 22° Sagittarius in the tropical Zodiac — which is to say that for astrological purposes, we're ignoring the fact that it's considerably north of the ecliptic, and we're pretending it's on the ecliptic. The Sun will usually be at 22° Sagittarius on or about the 14-15th of December each year, and that means that the Sun and Rasalhague will rise at about dawn, together.

But of course, any star that is conjunct the Sun at dawn will be invisible.

It takes about 10 to 12 days from that conjunction for Ras Alhague to be visible, just above the horizon, just before dawn, in the Northern Hemisphere, which means around the time that the Sun reaches 5° Capricorn, the middle of Capricorn I (which runs 0° Cap 00' to 9° Cap 59').

It also takes the Sun about ten days (sometimes nine, sometimes eleven, usually about ten) to travel a distance of 10°. By the 2nd century AD, at least, the Greek-speaking population of Alexandria had come to associate every ten-day period in the year with a deity that helped people on Earth, and usually included a celebration or festival of that deity during that ten day period.

And so, sometime between the Winter Solstice (December 21) and the modern New Year (January 1), keen-eyed skywatchers would have seen Ras Alhague rise in the east — the head of Ophiuchus the snake-charmer, the god Asklepios — and would know that it was time for the physician-god festival.

A few days later — roughly January 1 to January 10 — almost all of the constellation of Ophiuchus will be above the horizon before the Sun rises. And this is associated with Hygeia, the goddess of Health. Some myths call her the wife of Asclepius, some call her his daughter, some call her his mother. Either way, they're a pair — and they ruled over the twenty-day period between the Winter Solstice and the rough mid-point of January. Among the 36 minor deities of Greek religion that ruled the 36 decans of ancient astrology, they're one of just two pairs of husbands-and-wives that are consecutive (the other is Hades and Persephone, who rule from the Spring Equinox to about April 10).

Now... I'll dive into a little UPG here, and add that I've found that working with Asklepios and Hygeia on health and healing matters has been very helpful, but hasn't turned me into a doctor (or even an iatromathimatikos). Watching their healing power go out into the world today feels a bit like reiki, but a) it's not the same thing, although it's similar, and b) it's definitely not coming from me. I've also found that it's very snake-y or serpent-y... that is, it winds and coils rather than moving along straight or diagonal lines; and it has lots of whorls and eddies in it. It also has a very specific color associations, which I'll not reveal here, but which serves as a 'key' if you will, to when you've made 'contact' with the same thing I see.

Your mileage may vary.

How to work with this? Wait for a planet to be conjunct 22° Sagittarius, or wait for a planet to be in 0°-9°59' Capricorn, or wait for either position/region to be on or about the Ascendant (eastern horizon) or at the MC (midheaven) of an astrological chart. And then reach out, respectfully, with prayer and meditation, to see if Asclepius will speak with you about a health matter.

Be cautious about following the advice that arises here.

[sagan-starstuff]

Poang Pals Valentine's Questionnaire!

Here you go!

Valentines Gift Exchange Questionnaire

Tell your secret admirer about your relationship to The X-Files. This could be about how you got into the show in the first place, what it means to you, or anything else you’d like to share.

My mother was an X-Phile long before I was, she watched from the Pilot on. She was in chat rooms, on alt.tv.xfiles, in fic groups. I was afraid of the theme song at first, so much so that I made her mute it if I was still awake. I started watching in 1997, when I was 11 years old. I don't really remember my first episode - some time during the cancer arc. By the time the summer of 1997 was over, thanks to my mom's recorded episodes on VHS and re-runs on FX, I was fully caught up and 100% a shipper when Redux I premiered, and I've been obsessed ever since. I lived and breathed X-files, accumulated stacks of spiral notebooks full of bad tween fic and drawings, scrawled quotes and logos on the covers of my school binders. I was in chatrooms and on Haven, reading fic on Gossamer waaaaay too young, but everyone there still made me feel like I belonged. I was a weird, lonely tween/teen who had an incredibly hard time relating to my peers thanks to being skipped ahead a grade, but I could pretend Mulder and Scully were my friends. They were the smartest people in the room, they were outcasts, too. If they could be smart and strong, I could, too. The fandom gave me a community when middle school couldn't. I met my best friend in 1999 when she wore an X-Files shirt the first week of high school. I decided to become a doctor because Scully showed me that I could. I watched the way that Mulder and Scully loved each other with their minds and souls, and decided that I would never accept any less for myself.

I feel like I'm rambling, but I cannot understate the influence that The X-Files has had on my life. It was always a comfort for me, even when I was in college and the chatrooms and boards started to go dark. I lost connection with the fandom by the time IWTB came out, but I never loved the show any less. When my husband and I first started dating, I'd invite him over to watch X-Files with me...and we did, for a while, before we got up to other activities. He says I seduced him with The X-Files. It worked!

I reconnected with the fandom in 2023, and I wish so much that I'd known you all were out there this long. Finding other X-Philes, now in their 30's, 40's and beyond, has been such a treasure. As has been finding out that people in their teens and 20's love the show, too! I love seeing younger fans, people who may not even have been ALIVE for a lot of the original run. This is how we survive, how the show lives on.

I wear Mulder and Scully on my skin now. They'll be with me until I die.

2. Tell your secret admirer about your favorite things! Favorite characters, ships, scenes, seasons, arcs, etc.

This is so hard! My favorite will always be Scully but I love Mulder endlessly, even when he's an idiot. My favorite side character is Byers, though it's hard separating him from the rest of the Gunmen. My favorite moments…god, so many. But a moment I come back to again and again is Scully facing down the senate committee in Tunguska to protect Mulder. She displays strength, grace, and integrity that I can only aspire too. Every MSR moment is my favorite. My favorite seasons are 4-6, I cannot choose between them

3. Now what are your least favorite things?

I hate season 9 - its like the writers forgot who these characters were. Mulder would never leave his new family after a lifetime of trauma from the loss of his old one. Scully would never give William up. Parts of season 8 are ok, though the way Mulder is written after his return is absolute character assassination, and I HAAAAAATE the secret brain disease. I don't even acknowledge it. I don't like IWTB much. I HAAAAAATE the My Struggles. I have...come to terms with the breakup, though I'll never like it. The Revival gave us a few great episodes and amazing moments. The parts of the show I rewatch most are season 1-7. Oh, and I hate Diana, but don't we all?

4. Tell your secret admirer where you fall on the following scales:

Spice Scale

Salt only – no spice at all please! i.e., general audience rating.

Black pepper – a hint of spice. i.e., teen rating.

Chili pepper – there’s a bit of a kick! i.e., mature rating.

Habanero – definitely spicy, but most spice lovers can handle it. i.e., explicit rating.

Ghost pepper – only for the spiciest of spice lovers. i.e., VERY explicit/kink/POANG rating.

I will read anything Salt-Habanero, for Ghost Pepper it depends on the kink. Not into choking, non-consensual anything, nothing involving urine/feces, not a big anal fan, no physical or mental degradation of any kind. No feet.

5. Angst Scale

Pale blue sky – no angst, all fluff!

Aquamarine – a little bit of angst, maybe some yearning, nothing too heartbreaking. e.g., the various scenes in Mulder’s hallway.

Cascade ocean wave – a moderate amount of angst, e.g. Pusher or Wetwired. Happy ending included.

Sapphire tears – pain slut. Angst with a happy or bittersweet ending. e.g. abduction arcs, cancer arc.

Catastrophic blues – literally why. Lots of angst with some devastation for dessert, e.g. cancer arc but Scully dies at the end, season 8 and Mulder dies.

I'm good for anything up to Sapphire Tears. I'm not here for major character death or devastation.

6. What’s on your X-Files playlist? e.g. a character playlist, MSR playlist, etc. Bonus points for love songs!

The canonical MSR song is Walking After You by the Foo Fighters. Lovers in a Dangerous Time by the Barenaked ladies is also them in a nutshell. I'm also a bit in love with "Anywhere with You" by Maggie Rogers for them.

7. What are some of your favorite quotes and/or lyrics about love?

"For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love" - Carl Sagan

8. What are some of your favorite tropes? Are there any you avoid?

Ohhh I love first kiss/first time, I love love confessions, I love hurt/comfort. I like angst but only if it has a happy or hopeful ending. I looove Only One Bed, or huddling for warmth. I love fluff. I'm not a big AU fan unless it's a fix-it fic (like Mulder not leaving Scully and William, or Scully not giving Will up). I also love slice of life fic, seeing all their lost moments in rental cars and airports just...existing together.

9. What is your favorite color or color scheme? These can be specific colors or general categories, e.g. jewel tones, cool colors.

I love everything blue!

10. Link to gifsets you love

ANYTHING @daynascullys has ever done for the "I love you" in X-Files series

I didn't answer everything, just cherry-picked and stole a lot from my secret santa questionnaire. Feel free to send me an ask!

[enbymoomin]

Shows I Watched in 2024: Ranked!

Third year now that I'm ranking all the shows I watched in 2024 for fun and as a personal rec list :) This year, I watched 21 shows in 2024.

Like past years, each show is scored out of 5 in three categories: Blorboness (how blorbable the characters are, how much they rotate in my mind), Quality (execution, narrative elements), and Enjoyability (including and especially rewatchability). The three scores are then totaled for a final score out of 15.

1. Black Sails (2014-2017) (rewatch) - 15 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 5

Enjoyableness: 5

Comment: Usually I don't include rewatches on my list because they're obviously shows I know I like and thus tend to score/rank higher automatically, but I'm making an exception for rewatches of shows that I haven't seen in years. Therefore, top spot MUST go to the KING 💪💪 greatest show of all time istg 😩😩🤌🤌

2. Fellow Travelers (2023) - 15 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 5

Enjoyableness: 5

3. Avatar: the Last Airbender (2005-2008) (rewatch) - 15 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 5

Enjoyableness: 5

4. Kaos (2024) - 15 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 5

Enjoyableness: 5

Comment: It is absolutely CRIMINAL that this show was cancelled, it was SO!! GOOD!!!

5. Young Royals Season 3 (2024) - 15 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 5

Enjoyableness: 5

6. Percy Jackson and the Olympians (2023-) - 14.5 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 4.5

Enjoyableness: 5

Comment: I try not to give half points in my rankings but people were way too mean about the Percy Jackson series. I feel like something both Tumblr audiences and the show writers often forgot is that the show is targeted toward a middle school age audience, which means for PJO fans online who grew up, it's not going to be a deep, perfectly-crafted psychological analysis of childhood trauma, and for the show writers, I feel like the main or only drop in quality was that they assumed that monsters were obvious and so the characters all seemed to immediately know what all the monsters were without leaving enough of the exciting mystery and suspense for middle school watchers. Besides that, though, the show was genuinely one of the best and most fun I've seen in years; I would almost give it a 15/15 anyway. (Also had like half the entire Black Sails cast/production team working on the PJO series??? I love it 😭😭😍😍)

7. Mary and George (2024) - 14 pts

Blorboness: 4

Quality: 5

Enjoyableness: 5

8. The Legend of Korra (2012-2014) (rewatch) - 14 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 4 (I know why and I still love you, fuck Nickelodeon)

Enjoyableness: 5

9. Interview with the Vampire Season 2 (2024) - 13 pts

Blorboness: 4

Quality: 5

Enjoyableness: 4

10. Heartstopper Season 3 (2024) - 13 pts

Blorboness: 4

Quality: 5

Enjoyableness: 4

Comment: This one snuck up on me, I wasn't expecting this one to resonate so much at this point in my life 🥲

11. Doctor Odyssey (2024-) - 13 pts

Blorboness: 5

Quality: 4

Enjoyableness: 4

12. Bridgerton Season 3 (2024) - 13 pts

Blorboness: 4

Quality: 4

Enjoyableness: 5

Comment: Lost a point for quality because it still feels a bit like they don't know what to do with sexism and homophobia. They want to be progressive with racial equality without deconstructing the other highly oppressive institutions of sexism (the marriage mart, primogeniture/the baby race???) and homophobia (so is same-sex sexuality (such as with Francesca and Benedict) going to be accepted or what? Is it that they can accept interracial marriage but a same-sex one is too far? This is intrinsically tied to the institutional sexism). I'm assuming they'll answer these questions in Benedict's and Francesca's seasons so I await to see how they'll handle it.

13. 9-1-1 Fox/ABC (2018-) - 12 pts

Blorboness: 4

Quality: 3

Enjoyableness: 5

Comment: My quality score may be controversial but Fox shooting themselves in the foot with Buddie queerbaiting and lack of follow-through in early seasons just annihilated a lot of the narrative quality not even from a shipper perspective 💀💀 Also Bucktommy breakup was so stupid I miss them 🪦🪦

14. Alexander: The Making of a God (2024) - 12 pts

Blorboness: 3

Quality: 4

Enjoyableness: 5

15. Cherry Magic TH (2024) - 12 pts

Blorboness: 4

Quality: 4

Enjoyableness: 4

Comment: For comparison, I rated Cherry Magic Japan (2020) a total score of 2 (breakdown: 0/2/0) in 2022 💀💀 Cherry Magic Thailand ATE, SLAPPED, LEFT NO CRUMBS

16. Galavant (2015-2016) - 12 pts

Blorboness: 3

Quality: 4

Enjoyableness: 5

17. Meet You at the Blossom (2024) - 11 pts

Blorboness: 3

Quality: 3

Enjoyableness: 4

Comment: +1 extra point for being the first uncensored queer wuxia cdrama!!!!!!!!!!!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

18. Abbott Elementary (2021-) - 11 pts

Blorboness: 3

Quality: 4

Enjoyableness: 4

19. Pit Babe (2023-2024) - 10 pts

Blorboness: 3

Quality: 3

Enjoyableness: 4

20. My School President (2022-2023) - 9 pts

Blorboness: 3

Quality: 3

Enjoyableness: 3

21. Avatar: the Last Airbender Live Action (2024) - 5 pts

Blorboness: 2

Quality: 1

Enjoyableness: 2

Comment: Amazing how you can have an all Asian/indigenous cast while the OG had mostly white voice actors and yet NATLA was by far more whitewashed than the original because of a lack of cultural competence or cultural awareness in the writing. I love the actors and they did great under the circumstances but the writing and directing was dogshit.

[theshynerdsworld]

THE MUSE part 4

Benedict Bridgerton x female oc

(I forgot to add, that Mary is 21 and it is set loosely around season 2)

Warning: talks of sex, kissing, flirting (I sort of took idea from when the duke explained the Daphne )

——

The very next morning, Benedict walked into the house of Miss Mary Francis as he walked in, he told the servant, that he was here to see Mary. He followed the man and saw no one there “she has had no suitors?”, “she did earlier, sir.” He nodded as he waited “a Mr. Benedict Bridgerton to see Miss. Mary Elizabeth Francis.” She looked up as stood up to greet him “Benedict? Hello.” She smiled as he walked to her, holding candies and flowers “I heard you are partial to babies breathe and peony’s.” He handed her them, which Mary took and smelt, smiling “thank you, they’re beautiful.”, “also! I heard a certain candy with strawberry syrup in, from Nigel’s convenience is also a favourite.” She did a tiny giggle as she gave the flowers to her hand maid, who went to put them in water “thank you” she took them “why don’t you sit” he nodded.

Benedict took the seat next to her as Mary sat, Johnathon was sat at the table, reading keeping a close eye on them and max came running in, as they spoke “who’s that?” He sat on Johnathons lap “that’s Benedict Bridgerton.” He whispered, as he shushed him as Mary laughed at Benedict, she put her head to the side and blushed “this one is going better.” The six year old said, Mary excused herself, quickly and stood up then walked to Johnathon “is it ok, if we had a walk in the garden?” He nodded “take greta with you.”, “can I come!” She shook her head “sorry max..” she walked back to Benedict and told him. The two walked out of the sitting room doors, outside along with greta of course.

As the two walked, greta followed behind “so.” They both said at the same time, she blushed “go on.” She said, linking arms with him “I am to be apart of George’s exhibition.” She nodded “how wonderful! Will you be showing your fruit paintings and landscapes?” She asked, innocently “I was wondering.. well, if you want to pose for it.” Mary stopped and blinked “I cannot..”, “even if you wore a mask?” He asked, as they started walking again “and a sexy outfit.” She smacked his arm gently “you are terrible, Benedict Bridgerton.”, “me? I’m innocent, Mary Elizabeth Francis.” She cringed “don’t use my middle name.. I hate it.. It was named after my great aunt.. she is awful.”, “she’s still alive?” He looked at her “she refuses to die” she laughed morbidly and alittle breathlessly “why don’t we sit.” He suggested as he noticed her breathlessness “are you alright?” She nodded “yes, just happens sometimes..” she held her stomach alittle “do you need a doctor?” He asked concerned and he shook his head “no, I’m fine now.” She breathed “I haven’t been honest.. I have asthma..” he nodded “right.. my brothers are fine.. I’m the one who got it unfortunately.”

He gave her a sympathetic look “I do not need pity.” She scolded “no pity here.” He held his arms up as he took his jacket off “put it on. I don’t want you getting sick.”, “I can’t wear your jacket! What will people think?” He looked around, and waved at greta “only people I see is Greta.” He cleared his throat “Greta? You won’t judge and spread gossip to the rest of the people, about this will you?” The older women laughed and shook her head “see.” He helped her put it on and it swamped her “when are your grandparents back?”, “tomorrow.. with great aunt Elizabeth…” wrapping the jacket around, she looked sad “why the face?”, “I had a suitor here and he spoke of marriage..” Mary whispered “a Lord Jack Rippleton.. he wants four children..” she looked around, nervous even though Greta wouldn’t say anything “what happens.. during..” he watched some dukes in the pond “during what?” He questioned, as he smiled softly, as they waddled “the wedding night.” She whispered, softly. Benedict looked at her and laughed nervously.

“Did I offend you?” Mary asked “I didn’t mean to.. I’m just curious.. my grandmother and my mother, when she was alive never told me..” Benedict kept starting to talk then stopped, getting closer “she won’t say anything. Greta.. she has many of my secrets.” She whispered “what secrets?”, “I’ll tell you one day, maybe..” she innocently nibbled her bottom lip “a man and a women, will… become intimate” he stopped and she nodded for him to go on, he searched her eyes ‘I shouldn’t be telling her this’ he thought ‘oh well’ he added then said “a man will.. better way, have you ever touched yourself.. down there.” She blinked and blushed “once, when I was nine

Benedict swallowed alittle then said “he can use his lips.. his tongue” she gasped alittle getting closer, Greta looked the other way “his penis..” she raised her eyebrow “he inserts it..” her lips hovered over his “is that it..”, “there’s more..” he nudged his lips against her, Benedict tried to resist “a women can..” their lips touched and smashed against each other, they made little moans as they made out. He pulled away from her and bit her lip alittle “what can a women do..” she whispered as the heavens opened and rain started to pelt down “shit!” He said as he stood up “come on, we should go in.” She nodded, holding his arm as they walked up, using his jacket to shield himself and Greta used an umbrella, they walked in and saw max passed out on the floor and Jonathan, was not around but came in, holding a blanket for max “are you two ok?” They nodded, their hair wet and Mary breathless alittle “I will see you another time Mary.”, “I will walk you out.” He nodded as Greta followed, she smiled as they reached the door “what did you see, in order for you..” he whispered “i will tell you one day..” she whispered back. He smiled and said “until we see each other again.” Then whispered “tomorrow night. Studio” she nodded quickly and he left, Greta came up behind her “I’ve ordered a bath to be drawn and you need to change out of them wet clothes.” She nodded as she followed.

“Um Greta.”, “I won’t say anything miss. I never do.” They walked up the stairs “so you think he likes me?” Greta sighed and said “he’s smitten. He’d make a good husband.” She giggled at Greta as they walked into the room “could you deliver a letter to him… it can only be handed to him.. or his butler..” Greta nodded “I hope you know what you’re doing miss.. if your gran..”, “they aren’t gonna find out. Trust me.”

Half an hour later, she laid in the bath and yawns, as her hair floated around her neck and Greta knocked on the door and Mary groaned “go away! I’m relaxing.” Greta sighed and said “miss, your grandparents are back with your great aunt…”, “nooo! How am I meant to go to Benedict’s!” She whined as Greta walked in “come on. Out! You’ve been in for nearly an hour” Greta held the towel and she got out, wrapping her around. “You’ll find away.”, “i wanted to surpise him tonight.” Greta shook her head “no, Mary. You are to stick to when he says.” Greta scolded “do you think, if he should propose.. I should.. accept.”, “in my opinion, when that man looks at you.. I’m surprised, he hasn’t applied for a special licence.” Mary blushed as she walked into her room.

“Time to face the grandparents and great aunt.”

(I dunno if I will redo this.. I’m not sure..)

[echowithpain]

Guys this is the last Echo's Essay until next season 😭😭😭 Thanks for being here with me, I really appreciate it. That being said, this might just be the longest one yet lmao. Buckle up and I'll just go with what's off the top of my head.

First, I FUCKING CALLED THE ASSHOLE CAPTAIN COMING BACK AND TAKING BOBBYS PLACE!!!!

It made sense, because why have his actor be at the ceremony, AND HAVE A SPEAKING ROLE, unless he was gonna come back in some way?

Also I know Bobby put in his 2 week notice and didn't tell anyone but Athena, but then the whole chasing Amir down and saving his life again as a way to make amends and dealing with the cartel, it's easy to see how he forgot to tell the chief he changed his mind.

Speaking of Athena and Amir, WHY THE FUCK DID THE WRITERS MAKE HER SO HELLBENT ON GOING AFTER HIM ALONE, CONVINCED HE WAS THE ONE WHO SET THE FIRE??? Athena's always been by the book save for a couple instances, but she's always tried to make sure those guilty would be punished by the system. I get that she was emotional about potentially losing Bobby, but calling Maddie and lying to her so she could get Amir's address, going back to her house to get her gun, and then breaking into his house so she can hold him at gunpoint???? Guys come on.

I mean, I guess I could've accepted it if she didn't get her gun and make it seem like she was going to kill him even though we already knew she wasn't. Also the breaking and entering left a bad taste in my mouth, especially since she clarified she was off duty. If you have suspicions of him being guilty, get a warrant for his arrest and bring him in for questioning! They even highlighted how out of character Athena was acting by bringing up Emmett and what she did with the guy who killed him. And to top it off, while she was holding Amir at gunpoint, she was throwing accusations at him, saying he was a bad person, how she should've seen the signs, and how Bobby gave him too much credit, and reminding him of his past with the picture of him and his wife, BRO WHAT THE FUCK

Put yourself in Amir's shoes real quick: you survived a fire that permanently scarred you and took your wife, you decide to become a doctor so you can help people like you wish you could've helped your wife. One day while you're working, a firefighter comes in to reunite one of your patients with their baby and you recognize their last name, and looking into it, realize he's the guy who caused the fire that changed your life. You decide to see how his life has changed since the fire so you go to his AA meeting where you hear him talking about how good his life has been and that makes you upset so you speak up. You leave afterwards not wanting anything else to do with this man and go back to helping people, getting shot in the process. The man then shows up, having found you in the middle of nowhere, trying to help and apologize for what happened in the past. You tell him you don't want his apology and that he should leave you for dead, but he persists and ends up saving your life. After that, while you still don't want to deal with him, you at least tolerate him and go back to helping people.

One day you get a call from work saying one of your patients needs you. So you go into work, and it turns out the guy who caused the fire and changed your life has a wife who lied to get you to go there. You two have a talk and she tells you ever since her husband met you again, his life has been unbalanced and she thinks talking to you again is going to help that. You're weary but you agree to help. When you get there, you see the guy remarried to a beautiful woman, lives in a beautiful home, and has pictures of their kids and happy memories all around. This makes you so upset/jealous that you apologize and rush to leave only to be face to face with this man and it's too much. You tell him if he really wants to make amends, he and his wife should leave you alone, and then you leave so you won't have to experience those emotions again.

You slowly calm down and go back to your life, helping all the people you can. You're coming home, just picked up some dry cleaning, and then the guys wife is in your house, falsely accusing you of setting their house on fire and almost killing her husband, all while pointing a gun at you, saying horrible things about you, and tormenting you with your painful past.

WHAT THE FUCK GUYS???

Amir, I am so sorry you had to deal with that, and as much as I love Bobby and Athena, THEY NEED TO LEAVE YOU THE FUCK ALONE!!!!!! I love the mini friendship he and Maddie had, but please keep Bobby and Athena a million miles away from him and let him live his life!!!!

Honestly, Amir is a better person that I am because even after all of that, he still went into a burnt up house to look for Bobby and assure him that he deserves the new life he built for himself. That even though he'll never forgive the past, he at least respects where he is in the present...

Anyway -2 points for how Athena was acting with Amir.

Next up we have the Eddie and Christopher thing. While I'm sad that they're letting him leave to Texas with his grandparents, which I was so shocked about when they were at the door, I'm also glad that Eddie respects Chris's boundaries and wishes. He called Buck begging him to talk to Chris, and when he emphasized that he didn't want to break down the door to get to him, he wanted Chris to open the door to talk to him 👏👏👏👏👏 Fucking beautiful.

Also Buck, bless your heart, trying to help Christopher by inputting your own experiences with your own parents. It was sweet, but it took me out of the episode a bit with the whole "parents can make mistakes" because while that's true, comparing Eddie with Bucks parents felt wrong. Eddie has always been overprotective of Christopher but was always loving and caring and trying to make sure he had a normal life, and made one big mistake because of unresolved issues that he needs to go to therapy for. Bucks parents were just horrible people. Simple as that, sorry not sorry.

I will say though, after Eddie's whole "I don't want to force him to do anything" thing, and then when he says I love you but Christopher wouldn't look at him and he makes him look at him, I was a little put off. He was just saying he didn't want to force him to do anything and then he's forcing him to look at him when he didn't want to? What the heck? It's alright though, Eddie's speech afterwards made up for it so it gets a pass.

Speaking of passes, can we please be done with Marisol NoLastName now? I know she wasn't in this episode but we last saw her when she and Christopher walked in on Eddie hugging a woman who looked like his dead wife, can that please be the last time? I'm tired of her being brought up.

And speaking of people in the episode who I'm tired of being brought up, when are we getting rid of Tommy? I had exactly 2 posts talking about him during my liveblogging and neither of them were good. I've been very vocal about my dislike of Tommy, but he was so unnecessary this episode??? They were having a sincere talk about how Buck was worried about the fact that he almost lost Bobby, and that he was like the father he never had, talking about how they both had horrible dads, but Tommy denies having daddy issues himself and when asked if he thinks Buck has daddy issues, Tommy goes "I hope so"

?????

Oh yeah baby, I hope your father seriously neglected you so you have issues regarding him and male figures in general, along with having anxiety, abandonment issues, and toxic patterns so you'll be able to call me "Daddy" while we have sex!

It's a season finale. That was unnecessary. The audience didn't need to know right then and there that Tommy has a Daddy Kink. -2 points.

I know it's only one scene but I my hatred of it was strong enough to deduct an extra point.

🤮

ANYWAY TIME FOR A PALLET CLEANSER WITH MADDIE AND CHIMNEY FOSTERING MARA FOR KAREN AND HEN!!!!!! 💖😍💖😍💖😍😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍💖😍😍💖

Holy fuck I fucking love the Buckley-Hans. I thought they couldn't get any better AND THEN THEY DID!!!!! And honestly, that's on me for underestimating how amazing they are 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 It was miserable seeing Hen visit Mara and her having reverted back to being quiet for a bit before asking if she could go home with her and then the lady and security making Hen leave 😭😭😭😭😭 Again, fuck that councilwoman. I hope she gets her teeth kicked in and her face bashed with a rock. Thank FUCK for loopholes!!! Maddie and Chim heard their friends were having a problem, and without even being asked, they immediately went to see what they could do to help!!! They are fucking amazing. The Buckley-Hans invented love. I have nothing else to say 🥰💖🥰💖💖🥰💖🥰💖🥰💖🥰💖🥰

...is that everything? I think that's everything.

Final rating: 6/10

Thanks for sticking with me through this and I'll see y'all again next season! Tchau! 😘✨

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi cas!!!!!! it’s squash anon!!! i may have made things worse.

so i came to the conclusion that i don’t really like my girlfriend. i had a crush on her when we first met two months ago but that crush is gone and now i realized i don’t like her that much which is definitely an issue given that she’s my girlfriend and stuff. wahoo. so anyway today (or yesterday technically it’s 1 am) was our one month anniversary which is a big deal to her (not so much to me but whatever) and we made plans for tomorrow (today??) to go on a date and i find myself dreading it and making up excuses in my head to get out of it (i haven’t asked my mom if i can even go which i definitely should’ve already done so that’s an excuse i guess??? i don’t know. i know this sounds bad. anyway.)

that’s not even the worst bit. yippee

i’m usually on my phone all the time, especially since it’s summer now, so i usually respond to her messages pretty fast but today. ha. today i was watching doctor who (i was on season seven who can blame me) basically all day and forgot to text her back. and then i started dreading it because god knows why and i had completely forgotten what today was. so i got a message from her (that i didn’t see until three hours later) basically passive aggressively asking what was going on. i was honest with her that i was watching tv all day and got distracted but she got pissed because i ignored her all day, on our one month anniversary. she said i can think whatever i want (it made sense in the wording of the conversation) and at this point i was honestly just tired so i said i don’t know what i think. and she asked what i meant but i haven’t even opened that message (which is from two hours ago) and my sister told her i went to bed (they were talking because my sister thought it was a good idea to get her side of the story) (it didn’t help)

i want to break up with her. honestly. but i don’t know how, or what to do. and i know i fucked up today but i don’t know how to fix it. i’m just so tired at this point and i’m really starting to wish my crush on her stayed just a crush on someone pretty who i’d never talked to.

on top of it all, i texted my best friend AND my cousin to ask for advice cause they’d both dated people before and also they’re just my advice people but neither answered (they’re probably asleep) and i just don’t know what to do :(

this is definitely a lot but help would be cool. god i can’t believe i’m having relationship drama like a middle schooler thought i was too old for this.

Hi hon!

Yeah, please break up with her. I know it's hard and it's a lot to deal with, but neither of you deserve to be in a relationship where you don't want to be in it, you know?

Be slightly honest with her and say that you're feeling like you're not up for a relationship right now, but don't go into details (it would be too hurtful). Just rip off the band-aid, or you'll continue having things like this happen, and it'll just make you look bad, sadly. It's better for both of you.

You can do it, and you'll feel better after! You got this! <3

[captainhattersvoyagerstuff]

Caretaker Part 2

This is the continuation of the review started here

Scene 10 Hoedown from Hades

The crew finds themselves in the middle of some kind of Southern hoe down. I'd like to say these no longer exist, but I'm from Texas, so I can't. Everyone gets out their tricorders. They aren't in Kansas, thank goodness.

I told you there would be an evil corn on the cob lady

Turns out they are actually on the array but for some reason, they are stuck in this holographic hoedown from hell with pushy holograms that are programmed to entertain them or something. I don't quite know what the alien responsible was thinking, or the writers. This old lady comes out screeching for people to eat her damn corn on the cob! It's bizarre. Fabulously bizarre.

A girl grabs Tom's arm because even holograms know that Tom is easy. And she's like, let's go in this dark barn to Tom and Harry. And then pitchforks show up (this was bound to happen) and it turns out this was just the waiting room for the fun stuff.

That's actually a giant needle about to pierce Harry's chest.

Scene 11: Aliens experimentin'. Ain't it always the same?

The fun stuff is the crew hanging from these meathook like things while needles go down into their chests and they scream. Harry has the best scream. Janeway's scream sounds like something altogether different is happening.

After they are properly vaccinated against weird, the crew reappears on the ship. Everyone except poor Harry. The Delta Quadrant and apparently the writers hate Harry Kim.

Scene 12: Janeway Meets Chakotay

Janeway contacts the Maquis ship and Chakotay wonders why she knows his name and buddy are you ever in for it. Turns out the Maquis were taken earlier by the same entity and they are missing a crewman too, B'Elanna Torres. She suggests they work together, so three Maquis guys beam over.

"Oh, yeah, I was spying on you all this time." Great intro Tuvok!

Tuvok immediately goes over to Janeway's side and Chakotay realizes he's been betrayed and then he sees Tom Paris who also betrayed him and he's ready to beat the crap out of Tom. These guys have some intense rivalry that will no doubt continue through the show. But Janeway just stands right in front of of this big terrorist guy and barks at him to lay off, and he listens. If I had a tenth of that woman's presence, I'd have my own cult by now.

Oh, and notice the guy in the goofy vest in the background. That's Ayala. This guy was an extra on this show more than any other extra on any Star Trek show but he only gets a name once, and a few words of dialogue, so people use him in fanfic a lot. I didn't realize before that he appears so much so I'm officially declaring a "Where's Ayala?" hunt for this series.

Scene 13 The Banjo guy

Janeway, Tuvok, and Chakotay beam down and run into an old guy playing a banjo and who thought this up? It turns out banjo man is a powerful alien who used his great powers to yank ships light years away randomly to his front door.

Notice how Janeway glares down at him and gives orders while the supposed terrorist Chakotay sits down at eye level and tries to reason with him. I love this show.

Scene 14 You thought your hospital stays were bad

B'Elanna Torres and Harry Kim wake up in a hospital room with boils all over them in an underground area where these Ocampan people live. Some of their doctor guys come in. Half-Klingon B'Elanna immediately tries to kill him and gets restrained.

Guys, meet B'Elanna!

So yeah, sucks to be them, but at least there are no banjos there.

Scene 15 Janeway talks with long lost spy bud, Tuvok

Tuvok, the most sarcastic and thus the best Vulcan ever, and Janeway talk.  Janeway laments about Harry.  His parents apparently tried to send him his clarinet.  I’m betting they had lunchables for him too.  Janeway promises to get everyone home. Umm.

Scene 16 Neelix.

Voyager meets Neelix.  I realize some people really like him but most of the time he annoys me so, so much.  He is on a ship picking up debris and wants water.  But he can help them find their missing people!  Don’t do it Janeway! Don't let him on the ship!

Neelix already knows the plot.

Janeway does it.  Poor Tuvok is embraced by Neelix.  Tuvok will continue to be harassed by this guy for 7 seasons.  How he didn’t eject him into space and claim it as an accident I'll never know.

Tuvok, my man, this is just the beginning.

Scene 17 Fun in Ocampaville

Back with Ocampa Kim and Torres are told that the Caretaker sent them there. The doctors don’t know what’s wrong with them and calmly say that they're going to die. They don't take it well.

Hey, no need for frowny faces!

They give them this slop and tell them to watch the nature screen.  They don’t even have cable. The Caretaker sucks but the Ocampa like him because he helped them out by making them an underground city. This happened after "The Warming" turned their world to desert.  Warming? Whatever could they be referring to?

We're now into the next episode of the pilot. I swear the other reviews won't be so long.

Stay tuned for our wacky baddies, the Kazon! Also, Neelix in the bathtub!

[percreates]

Here's my intro post thingy-

My name is Percival, but I'm cool with Percy or whatever nickname, they/he, 21

Fandoms and things I draw/plan to draw

Random things from my life and little sketches

The Doomsday Heroes (working title) - a NaNoWriMo story I did when I was 13 that I'm entirely reworking to make a comic (I might make a post with some early concept art soon!)

Star Wars (I like the prequels/clone wars era best, but am not opposed to some original trilogy love)

Original Leverage (I only watched a lil redemption and didn't care for it all that much, but og Leverage has been my favorite show for over half my life now, expect ot3 art)

Spider-Man and Spiderverse, I have a spidersona that I'll be posting eventually

X-Files (I've taken a truly unhinged number of reference screenshots)

Star Trek TNG (a hyperfixation I'd like to return to, I'm obsessed with Data and Geordi)

Minecraft (funny/neat moments and adventures of my oc and others on an smp I'm part of)

X-Men (once I've read more of the comics)

Potentially other marvel superheroes (but again, not until I've read more of their comics, it's a Thing with me, but I did love the goofy found family avengers tower fandom stuff before the mcu got so dark and depressing)

MCR

Doctor Who (I'm not caught up on the latest few seasons and it's been a long time since I watched past the 10th doctor cause he and 9 are my faves, but I'm sure I'll draw early new who art sometime)

Jackass (MAYBE.)

Apothecaria (if I get back to it, which would be fun! I kinda forgot it existed until rereading this but I did have some cool ideas planned 👀)

Potentially other fandoms I'm forgetting I'm in, or didn't add to the list, just whatever I'm into lately

Random non-fandom related references, I've drawn a reasonable number of random people on pinterest afsgsgsg

(my references and tips board has 27 nicely organized sections and a total of over 1600 pins, feel free to dm me if you want the link!) (Probably more, I haven't checked in a while tbh)

Pretty much any scene/shot from a movie or show I watch that makes me go "ooh I wanna draw that" and take a screenshot, it's a problem (I got a lovely one earlier though of Eliot Spencer with a bunny)

I'm learning to draw cause I want to start creating comics! I drew a lot in middle school and am finally getting back into it. I was never that good back then, but I'm super happy with the progress I'm making since coming back to it >:D

I think entirely in words rather than pictures (I believe that's called aphantasia?), so until I've got A Lot more experience and have built up a better mental library and muscle memory, most things I draw will be with reference, but I'm slowly getting better at drawing from imagination!!

Tagging system-

#my art (self explanatory, I'll also have #my comics sometime down the line and #my me for self portraits), #perc rambles (anything I post that's not art, I've potentially missed a few of these), #cool art (any art I reblog that's not mine), #comics (as in comics people have made, not like, comics fandom stuff), #spidersona (other people's sonas, I'll be tagging my own separately, probably as #spiderskate but I haven't decided), #tips and tricks, #pose reference, #resources, and if I draw for a fandom I'll tag said fandom. I'll have tags for various ocs I post, currently my only one is #benni enderman.

I think that's everything! Thanks for checking out my blog, enjoy your time here :D

[lauranalanthalasa]

I'm always up for some fun 😁

[TAG SOMEONE YOU WANT TO KNOW AND/OR SOME OF YOUR BESTIES]

favourite colour: I might have picked a definite answer when I was younger but as of now I've come to the conclusion that I like all colours. Would I paint my walls bright pink? Probably not. Would I wear a sunny yellow dress? Probably also no, because I have the skin colour of untoasted white bread and it would look absolutely awful. So it really depends what item is supposed to have a specific colour and what mood I'm in.

last song: something from my Good Omens playlist, apparently "All I Want" by Kodaline.

last movie: Spider-Man - No Way Home while being sick, but really only half-assed, scrolling tumblr and stuff while doing so. I only just realise, that I could have watched Venom - Let there be carnage instead, which I might have enjoyed more.

currently watching: Loki season 2 and Sex Education Season 4, I also want to watch The Fall Of The House Of Usher

other stuff I watched this year: The complete 5 seasons of The Dragon Prince, all of the 13th Doctor (was pushing this off the whole time but finally wanted to keep up to be prepared for the upcoming 60th Anniversary special), Good Omens season 2 of course (and rewatched seaosn 1), all 3 seasons of Staged (highly recommend for GO fans!), the final season of Disenchantment, the 3rd season of The Witcher (I'll most probably drop it now that Henry Cavill isn't playing Geralt anymore), Sandman season 1, Star Trek Picard season 3, The Mandalorian season 3, Shadow and Bone season 2 - man, I watched way more than I would have thought and I probably forgot something! What the Hell! Definitely watched some new season of Rick and Morty as well...

shows I dropped this year: I don't think I really dropped something this year but I didn't pick up The Boys again after season 1 yet. Just never was in the mood for it.

currently reading: Graham. Green - Doctor Fisher of Geneva or The Bomb Party and The Talisman by Stephen King and Peter Straub which I've started ages ago and got stuck somewhere in the middle. Next up: The Crow Road by Iain Banks.

currently listening to: my Good Omens playlist, here are some of my favourites

David Arnolds soundtrack for the 2nd season of Good Omens and the soundtrack for Oppenheimer by Ludwig Göransson.

currently working on: tidying my desk so I can see the surface again and don't have to shuffle books and stuff around to connect my laptop for work, convertig the old super small flat of my granny along with part of a barn to an actual house (well, kind of) to live in and fighting the German authorities for it (a flaming sword would be really handy right now), oh and trying to write a Good Omens post season 2 fanfic in English, which is not my native tongue, as well as having ideas for an original story I should probably write in German since that IS my first language, but it somehow frightens me even more.

current obsessions: Good Omens and everything connected to it, no competitors. The brain rot is real!

That was really fun! 😁

Thank you so much @theonevoice for tagging me in this.

I absolutely have to tag my internet friend (if I dare saying so) @turquoisedata as well as @demonic-mnemonic who's Good Omens content and especially poetry I enjoy very much.

[supernovaa-remnant]

well, when it comes to andor, dark, and the swarm, i like literally everything lol

like, i think i'd actually count all three as some of my favorite shows because they're just so good, no matter from what point you look at it. writing??? amazing. plot??? amazing. characters??? amazing. cinematography??? amazing. acting??? amazing.

i mean, i'm in no way an actual expert, this is more personal interest and experience than anything else but by god, i just think these shows are fucking incredible and they left a lasting impact on me in multiple ways.

also omg since you mentioned it, i can't believe i forgot to list doctor who???? wonderful show, i love it so so much. do you have, like, a favorite era or doctor???

but please do go on about interconnectedness (just not to the point of crying please), i love to hear your thoughts!! :D

they sound like really interesting shows :D if I ever find the time to check them out, I'll let you know :3

omg doctor who it's such a good show. growing up, my favorite doctor was always the 11th doctor (amy was one of my favorite companions, too, and ofc I loved river and she was mostly around when the 11th doctor was around). as I've gotten older I kinda have less favorites if that makes sense lol. really like 12 and really like 10. um, unpopular opinion, but I really like 13 as well. like, I don't know, she has characteristics reminiscent of past doctors but is also very much her own doctor, y'know? I also adore yaz as a companion. in terms of the episodes themselves and the plotlines there, probably 10-11 era, but in terms of doctors my favorites are 11 and 13, I'd say. really really good show though and honestly there's so many interesting parts of it and good episodes from all the seasons.

what about you? do you have a favorite era or doctor??

as for interconnectedness.. I know people always talk about how humans are social creatures, but I feel like it expands beyond that, y'know? everything is connected. long ago stars exploded and those explosions created the elements that we're made of. something incredibly improbable happened to create the moon (because the earth-moon dynamic is very very weird and unlike any other planet-satellite dynamic in the solar system), and because of the moon life was able to form and evolve the way it did on the earth. 2000 years ago people looked up at the sky and created constellations and the zodiac system, and we still use that today despite the position of the sun relative to the constellations has shifted since then.

on a smaller scale—people have always just been people. and they were just living their lives, and yet somehow it all has lead to here and now. and, still, we're just people living our lives. and now we have the capability of being able to connect with people literally across the globe, and isn't that beautiful? that distance isn't as big of a barrier anymore?

and there's someone growing up in the house I grew up on. there's history there—my parents built that house when I was a baby, and my grandma painted my bedroom walls, and I experienced so much there. and now that house is watching another kid grow up and maybe the walls have been re-painted, but the original paint is still there, just hidden. and there are scratch marks on the wall from my now deceased childhood dog because he was just a puppy and not well trained yet when we got him.

and the child growing up there doesn't know any of that, and yet, in some way, we are connected because of it.

and I still think about the best friend I had in kindergarten and my best friend in elementary school and the friends I had in middle school. actually, speaking of doctor who, I had a middle school teacher who was doing a collage project in the ceiling of her classroom. basically it was a bunch of clouds and pictures of the sky. but, there was a little trio of sixth graders (me and two other girls) who loved doctor who. so, our teacher added a bunch of pictures of the TARDIS on the ceiling so that we could try to count them all (we never could). that ceiling is still there, even if I don't talk to those other two girls anymore.

it's just—everything is so connected. you're only a couple people away from any given person. it's crazy to me. and, another thing that's baffling. I wonder how many times I've been in the same room with the same stranger. because I don't remember all the strangers I see, but maybe I've sat in a train with the same stranger I sat on a bus with 5 years prior. maybe I passed a friend on the street years before we ever met. just, stuff like that is wild to me.

I don't want this to get too long, so I'm just going to make one more point: isn't it beautiful how, in the age of globalization, despite all the shortcomings, we've also found new ways to love?

Bare with me, but I'm going to very very briefly talk about parasocialism. Because, for example, Dream is always saying he loves his fans. Wilbur, in his last stream, said he loves his fans. and something they've both brought up is the fact that it's not like the love you feel for a friend or family member, but it's love nonetheless. and isn't that kind of beautiful? that it's possible to have love for people across the globe who you don't know? and it's not the same love as the love you have towards someone you know, but it's love all the same. and the same applies to social media. I love my mutuals. other people are always posting about how they love their mutuals. sometimes that evolves into an actual genuine friendship, and sometimes it doesn't. whatever it is, it's still love and care, and I just think it's really beautiful how deeply we can care about people we've never met and may never meet.

Okay, signing off here. I just love humanity and space and sometimes I'm just really full of love.