#but in all seriousness i think they're having issues coming to terms with the fact that i am indeed 25 and am going out and doing things

[arrow-guy]

My parents, joking about my boyfriend being over while they're gone: "haha, you have till (insert time) to get him outta there."

My parents immediately after finding out that he was, in fact, over while they were gone:

[velvetvexations]

my personal take on "antigonism" is that it's entirely what you make of it. which is to say, i agreed with your post explaining why you felt such a term was necessary, and i do think this mentality of "most of us are normal about each other" and simply assuming we understand each other's experiences by virtue of being trans is reinventing artificial gender solidarity between cis people ("bros before hoes", "girl's girl") but superimposed onto trans people. which can be particularly contentious, given that we're an extremely traumatized bunch with a lot of baggage and massively diverging perspectives on all kinds of things. relating to each other outside of conventional gender relations means we have to put in that much more work to bridge the gaps between us, because we can no longer rely on the common assumptions made about men and women to carry our interactions, if that makes sense.

i do think a whole word for transfem-to-transmasc solidarity does toe a line between being unnecessarily inflammatory and conditionally useful. i'm genuinely glad for the people who felt seen and appreciated by the fact that a transfem made so explicit her stance on intracommunity issues. i'm also sympathetic to the people who feel put-off by such a word. when does allyship become chauvinistic? there is no word for a non-misogynistic man to signal to women that he is explicitly anti-antifeminist, for example. do we need one? i think a vast majority would say no, on account of simply stating he believes in feminist principles to suffice. so i'm wondering what specifically the push was for you to coin a word around tfem4tmasc solidarity, because while i do think trans people as a whole need to take significantly more initiative about rooting out transmisogyny and transandrophobia both, i'm not quite clear on what could signal more clearly a transfem's stance on intracommunity dialogue than just saying "i believe in transandrophobia and condemn all radfems". all feminism, transfeminism included, has had their malicious actors-- the existence of transradfems isn't really anything noteworthy as far as the broader feminist conversations go.

i hope this doesnt come across as confrontational because i think the people who found comfort in the fact that you are willing to go that far for them is truly heartwarming. i just don't want to see us splinter further into microfactions over something like one person coining one maybe-overenthusiastic word on the internet

Sincerely, there is a word for men who are anti-anti-feminist, though, they're feminists. Granted, self-identified "feminist" men have somewhat of a negative stereotype associated to them, but still, feminist men are feminists.

One of the biggest reasons I think a term would be useful is because so many people feel unsafe in the trans community because of trans radical feminism right now that it can help them relax a lot when they see a trans woman identifies as such. Just reminding people with assurances that most trans women are Normal doesn't really help that when they keep running into ones who aren't over and over.

TRFs are aggressive about this stuff. Seriously, every single day, post after post, their primary form of activism is crying about TMEs stealing kinks and liking a children's toy too much. I feel strongly that should be countered. Even if they aren't the majority, they sure as hell act like it and repeat how great it is that every single trans woman except velvetvexations alone agrees with them.

To be absolutely clear, I do not think I'm the only non-weird trans woman! That is just literally what they say about me! They may be the minority now but that frog is boiling.

IRL transmascs are forced out of spaces and talked over when they're let in because mascuwinity is scawy, No doubt transfems have similar problems because some spaces are TERF-y, but that problem is exacerbated when social media is filled with TRF rhetoric because it gets drilled into people's heads they need to be worried about that, and I don't think "touch grass" is a good response to that.

Hell, what if someone touches grass and then they do happen to end up having people be transandrophobic/exorsexist/intersexist/etc. to them? "Oh, well, that didn't count, try again somewhere else, I prommy that's not Normal."

It's all about volume. I feel very, very strongly that volume is necessary here, to combat the feeling that that radical feminism is around every corner and help people feel at ease and know trans women are with them.

[litnerdwrites]

About the dancing chapter...

I agree 100% with this comment by the amazing @deathbealady (no seriously, I didn't even realise how similar this situation was to Mor's) and I wanted to use it as a jumping off point to talk about Eris Vansera. To be clear though, I like fanon Eris and am currently undecided about canon Eris, for reasons I'll explain later.

For now, we can start with the IC asking Nesta to try and seduce Eris. I refuse to believe they weren't given this idea by Elain, either because she volunteered Nesta outright, or because she put the idea of using Nesta's artistic passions that, at this point, they know were effectively weaponised by her mother, to seduce an older male with the idea of marriage.

Either way, the fact that the IC knew what Nesta's mother had done, and decided to take advantage of it without ever asking what she thought of it, or what she might like, despite it being the same thing done to Mor when she was Nesta's age, if not younger. It's made especially worse given that Nesta likely feels unable say 'no' to the IC, because if she does, she'd likely be threatened with Elain being made to do it.

If that isn't bad enough, and I wouldn't be sure if it could get worse if I wasn't about to tell you why, then we can take a look at the age gap between Eris and Nesta. I've heard people argue that it's fine, since they're both consenting adults, but I think that the term 'adults' needs to be redefined. Humans are considered adults at the age of 18 or so, but only have a fully developed frontal love at 25. Meanwhile, fae are considered adults by the age of about 50 to 80 (with the latter being the age that a High Lord can be named such, but some people say it's 50). This has some pretty serious implications.

Starting with the fact that if females in Illyria and the CON are married off/wings clipped when they have their first period, which seems to be from around the same time human women have theirs, to 18 if they try to prevent it through medication, then they aren't adults themselves. They aren't even half way there in the (I don't want to say mild, best case, better or anything like that case because it's all messed up) cases where the woman is 18 or so. It also implies that a fae female's frontal lobe isn't developed until she's over fifty, since we don't have evidence to suggest the contrary.

Just because Nesta was almost 25 when she became fae doesn't make it alright either. Given that her aging must have slowed astronomically when she was turned, it's fair to assume it would have a huge impact on maturity and brain development. Which means the Archeron sister's in general might have serious gaps in the way their brains develop, especially Feyre, since she was resurrected and her body changed. It might even be slightly different for Nesta and Elain since they were killed, pulled apart and put back together in the cauldron.

Since it was the cauldron, there's a chance that their brains were also changed to be like fae, but either way, both possibilities and scenarios come back to the same answer: The Archeron Sisters are still mentally children, and will likely remain so for several decades longer, perhaps even longer than regular fae due to the unprecedented and irregular nature of their existence.

This brings me back to the subject of Nesta and Eris. He is a grown adult many centuries older than Nesta, with frontal lobe development and centuries of experience. Nesta is barely even half way to being an adult, while he is over 500. Moreover, the IC believe that Eris is a monster.

Now, I'm well aware that there's likely more to the issues between Eris and Mor than what we've seen. Between Eris's own words regarding 'circumstances' that he wouldn't explain, to the narrative going out of his way to show us good parts of him. Such as the way he moved to protect his mother at the HL meeting, and how he let his own father torture him but still protected the IC's secrets and took the unnecessary verbal abuse from Cassian. There's even the fact that Eris simply lets others believe him to be the villain, and let's Mor control the narrative for her own comfort, as opposed to spilling whatever happened, even if it would, somehow, absolve him.

Now, to be perfectly clear, there is little Eris could say that would absolve him, truly, of what happened. I acknowledge that he's a victim of his father, however that doesn't mean he can't also be Morrigan's abuser. And yes, even if he didn't touch her, neglect is abuse. Leaving her there for dead, regardless of the reasons, is a messed up thing to do. The categories of victim and abuser are not mutually exclusive.

The narrative wants us, as readers, to question Eri's actions and begin to wonder what happened between him and Lucien and Mor. It wants us to open up to the idea that Eris may not be as bad as he's made out to be, and that there's something more sinister happening, since it puts some level of suspicion on Lucien, Mor and Beron. However, just because that's the story we're being fed as readers, doesn't mean that the characters have the same perspective, or are living the same story, necessarily.

If you think about it, they have no reason to believe that Eris isn't a psycho who abuses woman and would slaughter his brothers to get to the crown. His comment about circumstances does read like an abuser trying to justify his actions with little effort, while giving no real reason, not that one would make up for what the IC believes he did. It's not a good enough reason to absolve him or make him seem like a good person.

He still hunted Feyre down, even though he had no reason to once she and Lucien made it to the Winter Court, and it, logically, would've caused more trouble for Beron if they were caught. Especially since a whole fire fight took place, and it would be easy for Kallias to connect that with autumn citizens, since he didn't know about Feyre's magic. If anything, hunting them at that point would've caused more problems and they'd be better off just telling Beron that Feyre and Lucien were there. A high lady, if Beron acknowledges the title or not, trespassing in foreign lands with a banished son would be enough to raise a fuss about.

He, also, has people who've known him for centuries, from Mor to Lucien (though the latter probably has more accurate info given his connections in various courts, and the fact it's unlikely Mor shared many words with him over 5 centuries) and the fact he's essentially blackmailing the Nc. This is more so an issue of his having certain pieces of information being a cause for the IC to fear what he may do with it, or what might be found out by their enemies if they use torture or a daemati.

I'm not saying, by any means, that I hate him. I think he's actually written better than Rhysand at this point, since unlike Rhysie playing hero, Eris knows he's a terrible person and low key owns it. Whether or not that's subject to change is dependant of SJM's writing in the future. There's a chance she may actually turn him into Rhys 2.0 by pretended he was a good guy all along.

However, regardless of his reasons, he has done so many atrocious things that the IC have no reason to think he's a descent person. Mor clearly hasn't said anything about what happened and, as much as I don't like her, she has no on page motive to antagonise Eris otherwise. That might change later, especially if she's the traitor, but as of now, her behaviour seems understandable, somewhat, based on the version of events that she gives.

Yet, despite all of this, the IC still think that essentially whoring Nesta out to Eris because it suits their goals. Regardless of the risks to Nesta's safety, regardless of how Nesta feels about the matter and and simply going off of Feyre's guesses about how Nesta feels without ever feeling the need to confirm if any of them are accurate to Nesta.

Let me summarise: Rhysand and Feyre, Nesta's own sister, thought it was a good idea to use Nesta's artistic passions to seduce a man that is literally 20 times Nesta's age, letting said man ask for Nesta's hand, and letting Nesta consider accepting despite the IC believing he is a woman torturing psycho that would throw her to the wolves at the first chance if it helped him in the end.

Let's not forget that while Eris may be bit of a grey area for us at the moment, the IC knows that Eris also lives with abusers, like Beron, who'd have no issue using physical violence against Nesta. So even if they thought Eris wasn't a monster for some reason, they'd still be putting Nesta in danger. Especially if Beron is working with the Death God, who wants the trove and is using Bryallin to find it.

Oh, and this was all after Cassian came to the conclusion that Nesta was suicidal, and was sexually assaulted in a vision, if I remember right, while on a life threatening mission in a place the rest of the IC, even Amren, is scared of.

Regardless of what Rhysand says, he allows abusers near enough to his family, or the ones he doesn't care as much about, I suppose, and is seemingly willing to let them marry said abusers if it gets him his goal. Rhysand who was abused. Rhysand who's mother was forced into child marriage.

Rhysand who seems to ignore the fact that the Archeron sisters are children. Children can't consent, if it wasn't clear enough to him already. Also, consent must be informed, and last I checked, Nesta wasn't informed about Eris beyond him being a snake. She isn't given a heads up about how abusive he's believed to be, how he may have to kill/watch you die if his dad decides so, or how he's likely to leave you bleeding out in the woods if you're injured. This is literally what the IC believe he is like and they didn't tell her.

Consent needs to be voluntary. I think it's been well established that Nesta likely doesn't feel like she can make real decisions because of consequences she may face.

He's also completely willing to send a suicidal (you can't argue that he doesn't know since Cassian reports everything to Rhysand, and kind of Feyre, apparently, from her Valkyries to her progress in 'healing'/being brainwashed so there's no reason he wouldn't report that too) into life threatening situations, put them in a place where they could jump to their deaths at any moment, with magic that could provide literally anything but alcohol, and filled with weapons.

To conclude, Eris is a grey area in ACOTAR that, at this point, reads as what Rhysand kind of should've been if SJM didn't make him a good guy for no reason. Meanwhile, this 'good guy' is endangering his sister in law through abuse, emotional blackmail and brainwashing, while putting her in proximity with a known abuser. Might I remind you that she's a minor? With possible developmental gaps. And he's doing it all because her being in danger makes his life easier, and the cousin that the dude abused is going along with this without any issue.

[cator99]

The conversation went like this: general pleasantries followed by her being like I'm so relieved you reached out to me because I really just want to have a more positive relationship with all of you guys and I know how annoying it is when a landlord isn't able to deal with things in a timely manner I get it I'm a renter too... i get the sense that, just as i had over-prepared for the conversation, she had over-prepared to apologize for the fact that the basement bathroom has a recurring leak issues that get patched up and then continue to cause issues meanwhile she's literally going through a divorce and has to keep postponing because she wants to be there when the repair dudes come to make sure they're doing their job properly but she has a big trial coming up and had to put it off by another week, it's really no big deal tbh... I assured her that she's been doing a fantastic job at staying on top of things and communicating with us oh my fucking god okay new girl is banging that fugly creepy white boy she keeps bringing over so god damn loud l cant wait for her to gtfo anyways yeah so we basically just spent 10 minutes getting on the same page like we good we good she just wants to make sure that everyone is chill in the house and we had a really good talk about what we all want from this but TLDR once we got down to business it went like this:

Me: Pins Girl is the problem

Her: omg slay I fucking hate her please go on

Me: yaaaas she fucking sucks here's some tea sis....

Her: ok work so I'm not crazy for being like maddd uncomfortable around her like one time this thing happened...

Me: omg lol no seriously she's vile here's another wild example related to your anecdote....

Her: no way bestie she did that to me too. Just 0 to 100 in an instant I didnt even know what to do just being accused of every -ism under the sun

Me: yeah no that's just kind of how things go with her you cant get so much as an innocent Hello in without her immediately labeling it a hostile attack

Her: yas okay good riddance so what's the deal with this new girl she's her friend should I be concerned

Me: oh girl.......... so, no not really she's a sweetheart and also– thank god– fully employed. Absolutelyyy messy as hell tho so that's one of my biggest concerns. I think it would be best if you didn't add her to the lease no shade but she's really not a great fit since we're all older and chill and clean af

Her: ...and the rest of the concerns? Oh my god do you think [PG] will try to move back in if we decline her friend???

Me: no wayy she wants OUT out she's already got a new place lined up and her shit in boxes at the door waiting to be hauled off forever

Her: omg like. Far? Like is she moving far? Please tell me she's moving sooo far

Me: yes lmao dont even worry I dont know the exacts but it's nowhere even near here

Her: okay slayyyyy thank you for being dope as hell it's such a relief that this crazy person is gone so we can all just chilllll

Me: okay so about that

Her: ohhh no

Me: yes so you already know what we're dealing with. You know how she deemed me unworthy of being on speaking terms with her? I didn't mind that at all and really just kept tf to myself. Then suddenly she moves in this friend of hers and I just assumed this was done with some sort of approval from you, because that would be the normal thing to do.

Her: okay that's kind of wack, do you guys not like get a vote on these sorts of things

Me: I stayed out of it plus like I'm really not gonna start questioning her and risk putting myself in the line of fire and everyone is pretty much in that position as well

Her: omg no fr...

Me: so like I just kept to myself and my work without thinking about it... then I find out she was living here totally off the record when PG sent that email requesting that she be added to the lease. That's when the conversation opened up. And listen this new girl is super young super naive didnt realize that she was even doing anything wrong and then suddenly everyone's totally freaking out and realizing that this goes against the lease agreement and that if you find out, our ability to live here is jeopardized. She got us into hot water and then just... left us to deal with the consequences.

Her: she's still legally bound by the lease until it changes so if anything goes wrong she wont be escaping accountability no matter how many -isms she throws at me. I want this to work for all of us and we got this trust thang between us and I wouldn't evict you guys omg evictions are seriously sooo annoying and *most* of you have been great tenants especially (names everyone except for the unemployed ftm) they're all super chill and mature and we've had great conversations so yeah I'm just glad she's gone

Me: incredible yaas I love honesty. She has been actively impeding our ability to have a productive working relationship with you and each other it's so crazy

Her: literallyyyy😁🥂🔥yipeee

Me: yippee yaaaaay yay 😇☝️💯

Her: okay so my game plan is to interview the new girl irl like no zoom bs I really wanna read her vibes and decide if this is worth it... I'll give her a chance but if that doesn't work out... I mean... tee hee..... the yearly house inspection is coming up...

Me: ok that's so dope. She's gonna be moving upstairs once PG vacates so its gonna be pretty hard to hide the fact someone's right there even just doing a quick walk-through

Her: yeah so if things don't go well and I decide against putting her on the lease and they still don't admit to having her there then at least I can talk to them about it when the inspection happens and be chill about it and pretend like I totally had no idea. We can work something out as long as everything is good you know what I mean... okay if you need anything at all dont even hesitate to give me a call

Me: absolutely and if I have any updates I'll let you know ASAP, lmk if you need anything srsly I dont want to cause you any more stress like from what i understand you've had a stressful enough year

Her: yes good lord i have, thank you for being considerate..... seriously it's been hellish and this conversation has been such a relief

etc etc obviously the conversation was longer and more thorough but you get the gist. She's awesome. We hung up and I skipped my way to the grocery store

[charlottesbookclub]

hiii ! 😘 💐 🥂 for hux? if that’s too many you can just pick one no worries !!! i love love love your work <33

send me a headcanon request 🥰

hello my dear! ☺️ no worries at all – that's definitely not too many! in fact I'm very excited to do them! ☺️💕 and thank you so so so much for your super sweet words! 🥰🥰 I genuinely am so touched that you enjoy my work that much! 🥹🥹🥰🥰 I hope you enjoy these headcanons as well! ☺️💖

putting them below the cut because they got long (whoops!), but under the "read more" are:

what would they look for in an s/o?

would they give their s/o gifts? if so, what kind?

what are dates with them like?

for Armitage Hux!

General Armitage Hux

😘 – what would they look for in an s/o?

I think Hux would look for two conflicting things in an s/o: ambition/drive and the ability to relax and not take things too seriously. on one hand, I think he does really need someone who can match his energy. his whole life is about working in dogged pursuit of his goals, and I think he would find it hard to relate to someone who didn't share that sense of drive, at least to some extent. I don't think they would have to be in the same field as him (in fact, it's probably better if they're not so that no competition emerges), but I do think that Hux would look for someone who takes their goals seriously and has a lot of passion for their work

on the other hand, I think he also needs someone to temper that impulse in him. everyone around him expects something of him, and his work is constantly under scrutiny. it would be nice for him to have someone who he didn't have to perform around, someone who would encourage him to take a breath and just be for a moment. so I guess what he really needs is someone with perspective; someone who can appreciate and empathize with his ambition, but also remind him that there's more to life than constant work

💐 – would they give their s/o gifts? if so, what kind?

again, I think Hux would be of two minds in this regard. on the one hand, he grew up in the imperial remnant where supplies were hard to come by, and I think that instilled in him a sense of austerity and distaste for clutter and wastefulness. in that sense, he certainly wouldn't be giving "useless" gifts, like things that would just sit and collect dust. even for sentimental things, I think it would be hard for him to overcome that idea that everything needs to have a functional purpose. he might make a couple of exceptions for really meaningful things though

on the other hand..... whooooo boy does this man have self-esteem issues! he finds it so hard to believe that anyone would be with him just to be with him. he projects this ultra-confident facade, but inside he is so insecure. one way for him to make up for that would be by giving his s/o things that he thinks might make it "worth it" for them to be with him. they're still mostly functional (often expensive) things, but he does put care and thought into selecting them. as the relationship progressed and his s/o was able to convince him that they weren't with him as some sort of transactional exchange, I could see him getting more comfortable giving more sentimental, meaningful gifts. even once he got past that insecurity, expressing his feelings verbally is still hard for him, so giving gifts is a nice way for him to show his affection without having to be too vulnerable

🥂 – what are dates with them like?

first, they are few and far between 😅 at least if we're talking in terms of "formal dates." Hux is a busy man and he just doesn't have a lot of time for things like dates, even if he would like to. however, "informal" dates, like having a quick meal together in the privacy of his quarters or just working together in a private space, are much more frequent. Hux definitely feels guilty about not having more time to spend with his s/o, so when he makes the time for a formal date, he goes all out

they usually happen planetside, since first order ships don't exactly scream "romance" lmao. Hux will book an expensive restaurant and reserve a speciality table (usually on a balcony or by a window looking out over the planet). afterwards, he'll have gotten tickets to some kind of fancy entertainment (whatever that particular planet specializes in, usually something adjacent to opera or theatre or ballet). then the night will end in a suite at the nicest hotel the planet has to offer, and both Hux and his s/o can enjoy a night away from the pressures of the first order

if his s/o is the kind of person who prefers "quirky" dates (like whatever the star wars equivalent of going to a farmer's market or playing mini golf is), he might be able to get on board with it, just because his s/o enjoys it. however, those kinds of more free-form, sometimes silly outings are much more foreign to him, and he's a lot more comfortable in more "formal" dates. however, no matter what he does with his s/o, he always tries to make it a time to show them how much he love and appreciates them 💖

[rahuratna]

🛑 The free pass for Rants and Musings has reached you 🛑

If there is anything you’d like to rant or talk about, but no one’s ever asked you about it, consider this the ask you need to yap about it as much as you want! Have fun ✨

Hmm, musings. I want to expand a little on why Nanami's character speaks to me on such a personal level.

It all comes down to this idea: You are not your job.

This is a concept I've struggled with for a long time. I've always wondered why it was so damnably difficult for me to maintain a work-life balance. I am not the kind of person who can detach from work when I come home. I will think of my day, of the things I could have done better. I will fixate on small issues and blow them out of proportion in my mind, issues that nobody else has even taken that seriously.

A lot of this has to do with the need for perfection. The need for acknowledgement. The need to know that what I've done is both academically and morally right.

And this is why I feel such tenderness for characters like Nanami, and they way they're portrayed in media. I want to write the undercurrents of their lives, the little comforts they have, the stimulus that brings out their true passion, the traits that make them so human to us as readers/viewers.

Nanami severely undervalued himself, especially in a personal capacity. He states that due to the nature of his work as a salaryman, nobody will miss him if he disappears. This single statement made him a very compelling character for me.

How many of us feel this way? How many of us actually define ourselves by what we can do for others? By our relationships? By our jobs?

The fact that Nanami was never able to manifest a domain expansion speaks volumes to me. The expansion of the innate domain seems to be an ultimate expression of self identity; the stronger the sorcerer's sense of self-awareness and acceptance, the more 'refined' the domain. Mahito's manifestation of a domain expansion for the first time is evidence enough of this.

Nanami does not, through various things he's mentioned and done, have this strong sense of self, or self preservation for that matter. He measures the value of his life in terms of how much he can help others. He defines himself within the confines of his work as a salaryman, then as a sorcerer.

I like writing him as a character because I've learned, through hard experience, why it is so important to value yourself as a human being, above all else. How the thing you may perceive to be selfish is actually a healthy relationship with your own identity.

If all works of fiction can be interconnected through the people who enjoy and appreciate them, then I'd like to write little fictional accounts that breathe some extra dimensionality into these characters we know and love. I'd like to send a little whisper into the void, in my own way, letting anyone who feels the same know that it's fine to be kind to yourself. It's fine to be soft with yourself.

You are not your job. You are not defined by your value to others. You are a thinking, feeling human being and your existence does not need to be justified or measured by some arbitrary scale invented by someone else. To live is to be free. 

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck coming to terms with his sexuality.

I can't help but compare it to what happened with Darryl in Crazy Ex Girlfriend. After his divorce he threw a party cause he was lonely and missing his daughter (they have a good relationship, I think she was at camp or her mom's I can't remember) where he invited some new friends over. He spent the whole party talking to White Josh who kissed his cheek at the end of the night, after he stayed to help him clean up. Cue his Bi awakening

He asked White Josh out on a date where they wouldn't run into anyone they know and his reaction was basically "Listen I'm happy for you coming to terms with who you are and figuring yourself out but I'm not going back in the closet" he was respectful about it and didn't make Darryl feel like shit just cause he was still closeted.

Compare this to Toad who made Buck feel bad for needing time and ditched him. If he hadn't acted like a dick at the restaurant and taken Buck home and left the night saying "Listen I get that this is new for you but I don't want to hide who I'm dating. I'm out of the closet and I'd like to keep it that way" and left it at that he wouldn't have been in the wrong. But he was purposefully written that way.

White Josh and Darryl went on to date and I didn't watch s4 so I don't know if they were endgame but I loved their relationship cause even though White Josh's feelings were hurt by Darryl not wanting to be out he didn't attack Darryl for it. Unlike Temu who abandoned Buck.

Thank you @chaoticcoffeequeen for the ask.

Since I'm not familiar with the TV show "Crazy Ex Girlfriend" that you mentioned at the start of your ask, I'm not able to provide any insight on it.

However, I am familiar with 9-1-1 and I have several issues with T*mmy Kinard dating Buck and it started with the fact that HE KNEW Buck wasn't trying to get his attention. It was obvious by his response he knew when he asked, "My attention?" Seriously, he could have owned up to it then and offered to be a friend to Buck instead of another love interest. Why would anyone want to be in a whatever they're doing while actively knowing they want to be with another person? It doesn't make any sense to try and build something when the other person is in love with someone else. Even though everyone perceives and interprets media differently, it should have been clear to anyone watching that 9-1-1 was being VERY LOUD AND INTENTIONAL in having Eddie Diaz (the love of Buck's life) be at the center of everything in 7x4 along with Buck constantly referencing Eddie and Chris and how he felt like he was being replaced in their lives by T*mmy along with how he felt left out since Eddie had moved on.

From the start of the episode, T*mmy was completely dismissive, rude and most of all he was an asshat towards Buck. He seemed to be annoyed by him and it continued throughout the second half of the season. IMO, since T*MMY COULDN'T GET EDDIE, he decided to see where things with Buck could go which made Buck be the consolation prize! Buck's hardly ever been anyone's first choice unless they wanted to have sex with him or use him to get what they wanted, i.e. Margaret and Phillip wanted Daniel not Buck so they had him created so he could save their other son while completely ignoring him. And I don't believe that season 6 smoke screen the show threw up for the audience to give the Buckley parents an undeserved redemption. Then there was Chase MacKey who used Buck so he could sue the city and get a payout. Connor's no different since all he wanted was Buck's sperm and when he got it and they had the baby, they dipped.

Buck's not celibate (at least he hasn't said he is in CANON) so it would have been different if they established that's all they would be to each other so Buck wouldn't be clinging to someone who doesn't want him which is no different than the things he's done for the past 7 years. Everyone who knows Buck, fully understands he wants to be in love and he's wanted it ever since he clung to Abby even though she saw him as nothing but a boytoy.

Another thing that irks my soul about T*mmy is the fact that he's always talking about how jealous he is of Buck because he acts like he's still in 5th grade and is jealous that Buck got to go to recess and he didn't. T*mmy's a grown man who should be settled and secure in who he is and what he has to offer someone but he acts immature and the words that come out of his mouth contradict his persona. For example, the comment he made about Buck's loft being so nice when he first walked in. I mean let's be real for a minute because T*mmy spends his money on BS and it's evident he does when he walked in and was looking around like he was at the Getty Museum or the Griffith Observatory. He even said he was working at the wrong location which is ridiculous since he used to work at the 118 and he got a job promotion. This guy operates helicopters for a living now and he had been on the job at least a couple of years before Chimney started since he wasn't a probie in 2x11 or 2x9. In 6x1, Hen told Bobby she had been on the job for 12 years and she arrived after Chimney so T*mmy's been with the LAFD for at least 15 years which makes him older than some people want to believe but I digress.

My point is he makes more money than all of them but he dresses like he shops at bargain basement and discount stores and his clothes look kind of tacky. I've always considered him to be the Wal-Mart version of someone but definitely not Eddie Diaz because Eddie is Cartier and Giorgio Armani to T*mmy's Dollar Tree/Dollar General. Eddie's quality to T*mmy's cheap ass. Buck's a good dresser, he always has been (well until he started wearing those too little clothes in season 6) but I think that had more to do with the way he was trying to force himself into a family or families that weren't his (related posts linked here and here). Anyway, T*mmy makes enough money to afford anything he wants but he spends it on BS like car lifts, bars, fight tickets and other nonsense and since he doesn't have any kids, there's no excuse for him to be jealous over Buck's ability to live in a nice loft and him buying expensive clothes.

Before he kissed Buck, T*mmy literally courted Eddie but Eddie was completely oblivious to it. But when he started doing whatever the "F" he's doing with Buck, he hasn't taken him on one helicopter ride or anything. All they've done, other than that failed date and the coffee whatever, is stay inside of Buck's loft just like Buck did with Ali, Taylor and Natalia. The only time he took Taylor on a date was before they started officially dating when he was trying to get help for Sue in 4x11 and he took Natalia to a bar when Lucy popped up out of nowhere but the other times, they were entombed inside of his loft.

Eddie and Buck have had two official dates, one in 6x13 when they went to play poker and the second one when they partied like it was 1999 in 7x6 when they were dressed up like Crockett and Tubbs from Miami Vice (related post linked here).

T*mmy knew Buck wasn't interested in him, therefore, IMO, he should have admitted that instead of going along with it especially after he sat there and listened to Buck wax poetic about Eddie for several minutes. Also, I believe all Eddie talked about was Buck while they were in the helicopter and in Las Vegas.

Honestly, T*mmy is no different from Buck's other love interests because all he wants from him is one thing, his "Firehose" and that's it. He doesn't listen to Buck and he kind of acts like he's annoyed by him the same way Abby, Taylor and Natalia did.

I'm so tired of the show giving Buck these lackluster love interests who don't care about him and for those who want to say T*mmy does care about Buck... I'm here to say you're wrong because he doesn't. If T*mmy's actions are loveable then I'd hate to see what he's like when he's being a jerk because if he really cared, he would listen to Buck and stop talking about how jealous he is of him and he'd try to develop an emotional connection but he's so dry and unfunny, he's not capable of it.

This got way longer than I intended and I suppose I'm still pissed at how season 7 was handled for Buck and Eddie. Eddie's "Vertigo" storyline ended up being a dumpster fire and Buck being bothered and bewildered ended with the BTs caring more about Buck kissing a man than they do about the epic love story the show has been telling for the last six years between Buck and Eddie.

Thanks again for the ask.

I ONLY SHIP BUDDIE!

DO NOT REBLOG THIS IF YOU HAVE AN OPPOSING OPINION ABOUT BUCKT*MMY AND/OR T*MMY KINARD. I DON'T LIKE BT BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP AND I DON'T LIKE TK BECAUSE HE'S A RACIST AND A BIGOT.

THE ASK WAS SENT TO ME AND I RESPONDED TO IT THE WAY I WANTED TO. SO... IF YOU LIKE BT OR TK, CREATE YOUR OWN POST ON YOUR OWN BLOG OR ELSE GET BLOCKED LIKE THE HUNDREDS OF OTHERS I'VE BLOCKED SINCE 7X4 AIRED.

[ckret2]

What is the equivalent of the phrase "Oh my God" that Bill uses? Is he mentioning some god figure from his home dimension or is he using “Oh my me” or “Oh my Axolotl”?

He doesn't use anything.

Have you ever heard an atheist say "oh my big bang" instead of "oh my god"? In common usage, the word "god" in "oh my god" is merely part of a stock phrase and not a declaration of belief. In fact, changing "god" to another term would instantly make it more religious, since if you just say "oh my god" it's like "well maybe they believe in a god or maybe they're just using the phrase," but if you say "oh my [something else]" it's like "they DEFINITELY believe in [something else] so passionately that they changed the phrase just to emphasize how much they believe in it."

If Bill ever used the phrase, he would use it like a foreign word pronounced omaigohd that's just an exclamation that communicates a specific emotional meaning to English-speakers (anger, shock, excitement)—and he's not going to get all cutesy while speaking a foreign language to draw attention to something irrelevant. This exclamation isn't an avenue to announce his religious beliefs.

There ARE issues he feels passionately enough about that he'd break away from common English. Unless he's in "pretending to be human" mode, at any place where a human would naturally refer to themself as "a person," "a woman/man," "female/male," "she/he," Bill will refer to himself as "a shape," "a triangle," "triangular," "it," even in contexts where that sounds weird to the humans. His gender is triangle and that matters to him. Religion does not.

At any rate, there's no [something else] he could fill into the phrase. He knows for a fact that there are figures powerful enough to alter reality—he is one. He suspects on good evidence that there are even more powerful figures that can conjure an entire universe from nothing—he is not one. He considers "power" and "divinity" to be separate things, he doesn't think powerful figures are divine, and he doesn't think the divine is real. He thinks "god" is an artificial social label, like "king," that only exists when enough people concur that it's real and stops existing when enough people stop respecting it. He thinks "god" is what the weak call the powerful when they've been fooled into thinking the powerful deserve worship. He thinks he's one of the powerful that fools the weak. He doesn't think he's a god—except when he's lying to himself very well—but he loves how it feels when other people call him a god, so he encourages it. He doesn't consider anybody god, he doesn't obey or respect any authority, and generally the more powerful a being is, the more he dislikes them on principle. One trillion years ago, the beliefs he was raised with were the sort a white American boomer experiencing a religious crisis would insist are "spiritual but not religious." He briefly thought gods might be real in his youth, but never worshiped any.

But all that aside—his vocabulary simply doesn't include the phrase "oh my god." He doesn't want to imply he even might worship something—he's too proud and that pride is too fragile. If he has to make an exclamation, it'll be something entirely different—"Oh boy." "Oh, come on!" "You're kidding me." "Seriously?" "Whoa!" "Wow!" "No way," maybe hysterical laughter—whatever's fitting in a given situation. Several times in the fic I've had to go find a different phrase where if he was another character I could've just put "omigosh".

[thalfbloodloser]

You bring insanity to a boringly sane fandom. I would like to hear your latest thought on ivorycest... Whatever nugget you may be nursing. If that is alright

✦ aw, thank you! you're so sweet 🐌🧡 it's very much alright - no one in here ever sends me fun stuff anymore. your ask was a breath of fresh air, anon! truth be told, i haven't been thinking about ivorycest all that much, but get ready for a HUGE text-block jumpscare because you just gave me the perfect excuse to write about them ➜

✦ sometimes it pains me to see so many folks avoiding ivorycest like the plague, because, like ranfren itself, it's so unapologetically insane that you can't really hate it. even if you try. if you have a dash of sense of humor, you'll see it's hilariously canon compliant!

i've seen lots of people argue that "anything romantic/sexual between randal and luther would be inherently out of character", which i'll admit is a reasonable concern, but it's just not true. the issue is characterization: people keep projecting human-based tropes and behavior on cryptids, and that's where the knee-jerk "eugh" reaction comes from. because yeah, randal and luther aren't going to declare their Forbidden Love for each other and then passionately kiss under the moonlit sky, nor are they going to feel guilty about their attraction and part ways with a tearful "we can't! this is wrong!". it would be completely unnatural behavior for them. all that? made for humans. and pretty basic humans, at that. for ivorycest to work, both in and out of canon, you gotta fully embrace the weirdness, see beyond humanity and forget all old expectations you might've gotten from any other couple of siblings!

from my point of view, it doesn't even feel like it fits with the rest of the "-cest"s. and not because of the possibility that randal and luther aren't even biologically related (i seriously doubt they're even from the same species) - we all know that adoptive siblings aren't any less siblings just because they don't share DNA. plus, pseudo-incest is still a thing - but because they're so, so far from human nature and from other brother/brother ships that it's almost laughable, and sometimes genuinely puzzling, to apply ANY human labels to them at all. for example, would you call luther a cannibal because he eats people? no. because it'd be like calling a human cannibal for eating cows, and that makes no sense. words mean things.

to us, at least.

coincidentally, that's half of my point.

the ivorys adress each other as "brother", sure, but you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that they fully understand what that means or that they care about it enough to follow the moral/ethical guidelines attached to such terms. you simply cannot. most times it feels less like they see each other as family and more like they're just...roleplaying.

but if you decide to call someone "daddy", just when does that make them your father?

randal, who could (but perhaps shouldn't) be considered the most resourceful of the two, uses "brother" as both title and honorific - like one uses "sir" or "ma'am" - but doesn't seem to be overtly attached to the familial aspect of it. again, he's not a human, and, as far as we know, our siblinghood doesn't come naturally to him - much like pain, guilt, conscience and a whole load of bodily functions that he also seems to lack. luther, on the other same hand, understands the caretaking implications of being the "older brother", but that's pretty much where his brotherly-ness begins and ends. if anything, he's incorrectly using the sibling label while playing parent; just without any trauma and/or responsibility attached to it. there's also the fact that he's the most powerful entity in the household and randal - no matter how many pianos he "possesses" or how many times he shoves himself in the space between the wall and the fridge - cannot possibly overpower him, also adds to this parent/kid dynamic; hence granting luther the (almost-meaningless) title of "master" and the authority over their dysfunctional home. that still doesn't mean randal perceives him as anything but a housemate, or playdate, for he doesn't really seem to keep up the role of mischievous little brother unless he's bored (often, not always).

so they use the word, but it lacks permanent meaning. in that sense, classic incest tropes - no matter if brocon or dadson flavored - don't really work. there's power imbalance, sure, but the familial bonds needed to reinforce that imbalance simply do not exist. randal is babied because he likes to be. he likes being taken care of and likes having rules to break. it's a character he plays. luther "takes care" of him because he himself likes doing it. he likes being a parent and likes having a reason to lecture & discipline. it's a character he plays. they don't actually need this dynamic to thrive, and it wasn't imposed on them by parents/caretakers or any set of misfortunes that we know of. they just deliberately chose to partake on it.

consequently, i don't think they feel what humans perceive as familial love (healthy or unhealthy) for each other. they're simply two powerful entities - whom we can assume have been at least friends for a long time - playing make-believe. creatures who have little to no regard for humanity as a species, and are only interested in their own antics. of course they do eventually commend certain humans for their achievements, and seem to find all sorts of comfort in our art/creations/traditions, but outside of that? they see humans as fragile beings as intelectually insignificant to them as most animals are to us. randal forcibly keeps one as a pet. not far from "master" luther, who keeps two.

again, the ivorys are clearly intelligent, specially regarding their own survival. they're not behind being purposefully dense when it comes to anything human that is even slightly inconvenient to them (huh? eating the delivery man's arm when we order pizza is bad? haha, i would never have guessed!). they have the means and understanding necessary to behave (and perhaps look) 100% human, they just...choose not to. they can bend reality itself to their whims, turn themselves and others into inconceivable creatures, all while feigning absolute normalcy at the chaotic world around them (werewoofs, carpet cats with human faces, alive walls and furniture...), and you think they'd draw the line at willingly distorting something as frivolous as family hierarchy?

tch. please.

with that said, by the rules of their own game, if they were to partake in any...non-platonic activities, it would only be considered incestuous because they decided it would be - by creating the dynamic and environment in the first place. and they would simply not fucking care if it is upsetting, distasteful or imoral by human standards. and that's the ship's whole flavor - that's why i love it so much! precisely because there's no such thing as the "oh, no! i accidentally fell in love with my sibling! woe is me!" (which i also love) with the ivorys. there's also not a "normal" way to ship them, even if you're adamant about them not being related or not seeing each other as family, because they're two fucking weirdos.

their whole relationship is so tastefully bonkers that i genuinely wouldn't be fazed if they spawned another creature to be their "littlest" sibling. honestly, who could stop them? and who's to say that, in their cryptic way, they're not a married couple? or buddies into weird roleplay? ultimately, it is undeniable that they - in at least one sense of the word - love each other enough to enable each other; and to indulge on each other's silly/straight-up-criminal fantasies.

to me, there's no (human) romance, nor seduction, involved. randal knows he'll get nothing by jumping on his brother's lap and performing the most disgustingly horny hentai rip-off scenario ever. much like he'll get nothing in exchange for sweet words, flowers and chocolate. it's part of the game. he knows he'll receive only a "<3" (♥︎) - which him and luther seem to be able to pronounce out loud - or a hummed, blank-faced lecture about needing either a nap or to drink more water. if luther is having a bad day, he might even receive some sort of punishment. and those are the reactions randal wants, the normalcy (if you can call it that) he counts on. if he wanted a different response, something genuinely human, he'd have forcibly gauged it off sebastian, nyon or even nyen. likewise, luther knows better than to come too close or to grab randal by the waist, lest he get bitten or not-so-playfully snipped with scissors.

but there's intimacy. so much intimacy. on waking up to the other's figure looming over them, on physically crawling under each other's skin, on wrapping hands and claws around each other's organs and muscles and bones, on faux eyes staring into faux eyes, on a eerie smile pressed against unmoving lips, on the suspension of disbelief, on the lingering smell of copper, on the flashing lights and sappy endearments and and-

and, i suppose, on the sex too. i don't think i can picture them having human sex - really, who am i to guess what these creatures are packing in their pants? for all we know, they might as well be ken-doll smooth down there - but if they were to ever consummate their relationship sexually, i feel like it would probably be as uncomfortable, off-putting, disturbing and offensive to the eyes as everything else they do. genuinely revolting from any possible point of view - unless you're a true monsterfucker. a ritual so gross that, for us, it resembles nothing but a cacophony of unthinkable horrors molding together wetly, but that, to them, feels nothing but heavenly from beginning to end. as close to divinity as such wretched demons/creatures are ever going to get.

anyways. enough, my apologies-

the conclusion is that...me shipping these two isn't even about wishing they'd get together, because, in their fucked up way, they already are. it isn't about spiting other fans either. it's about having fun coming up with increasingly nonsensical scenarios hoping to come close to their freak ✦

[dotthings]

6.14 isn't among the strongest S6 eps but it sure does have some meat on it concerning unreliable narrators with Dean and his self-perception. Shoutout back to the "truth" he spoke to Veritas, which was *a* truth, because Dean believed it, but it wasn't The Truth, it drew from his fears and perceptions about himself, when he said he's nothing but a killer.

In 6.14 after Sam collapses from hell memories, Dean tries to give him advice about why he shouldn't explore his Soulless Sam past any further, because it is dangerous for Sam due to the memory wall protecting him. Which, Dean has a point. When Sam asks how to deal with it, then, Dean says "you shove it down and let it come out in spurts of violence and alcoholism."

Dean is expressive on a regular basis and doesn't shove stuff down nearly as hard as Dean would like to pretend he does. But there are also grains of truth--we've seen Dean use alcohol as a coping mechanism and we've seen him bottle things for a time and then do tearful confessions or outbursts of grief or fear or anger.

Dean's self-perception tells him he's nothing but a repressed, alcoholic mess, but he's not in fact repressed since he is loud about his feelings at almost all times, while he tries to "shove it down" but he's just so bad at it.

The scene between Dean and Ben!! The walking talking heartache that is Dean Winchester!!

"I think my job turns me into somebody who can't sit at your dinner table. And if I stayed, you'd end up just like me" "Why do you say it like you're so bad?"

"Trust me, I'm not someone you wanna aim to be."

Dean cannot see himself through Ben's eyes. And yet again, this isn't actually some deep core Truth, it's *a* truth because this is how Dean sees it and how he sees himself inherently. If he'd spoken about the dangers of his life and why that concerns him if monsters came home and put his loved ones at risk, that wouldn't be unreliable narrator and about Dean's self perception, those are real issues Dean and Lisa would have to seriously consider if they continued a long-term relationship while Dean hunts. But he doesn't say that. He says what he says. Like he's tainted. Like he's bad. Like he could ruin the Braedens just by being around. Nothing but a killer. Unfit to be with them.

He loves them and they love him, even if Dean/Lisa isn't an epic romance, they still care for each other as people, and Dean and Ben formed a bond, Ben is one of several kids over the course of the series Dean takes on a paternal role with, willingly and lovingly.

Ben is a perceptive, sensitive kid who cares a lot about Dean and he's not having with it.

"You're a liar, Dean."

"Excuse me?"

"You say family's important. But what do you call people who care for you, who love you even when you're a dick? You know you're walking out on your family, right?"

He's a kid so he doesn't understand completely, and he's hurt by Dean leaving. So he is lashing out. But he is perceptive in understanding that what Dean's saying doesn't add up.

Whatever people ship or don't. One of spn's biggest themes is about family and the different ways family forms. The reason Lisa and Ben matter isn't because it's suburbia and "the apple pie life" it's because they became like family for Dean and he loves them. And the reason he loses them from his life isn't actually hunting, it's his self-perception issues, it's his perception that he can't have that and doesn't deserve them, that they're so much better off without him. He sells that narrative to himself and everything spirals from that.

Yes there are dangers to Dean's life, and he and the Braedens would have to have serious talks about it. But isn't it interesting, the rigid thinking involved to dismiss the Braedens as impossible, "oh, the Braedens can't stick around and they can't be family, this is all fake, Dean doesn't love them, he doesn't want any of this." He actually does. He wants to hunt but he also wants the connection he had with the Braedens. Both things can be true and I really appreciate S6 showing it's all part of Dean, it's sincere and real and part of who he is. It's not that he doesn't want to hunt. Hunting also makes him miserable, it's traumatic, Dean has said throughout the series, since early seasons, how traumatic it is, and how miserable, he also wants to hunt, both things can be true.

But it's not a simple binary where hunting is all he wants, hunting is all he needs, where there is no tragedy or sadness in Dean's yearning for other things and his perception that he can't have it and isn't worthy of anything outside of the hunt, the kill.

At the end of the episode as Sam and Dean commiserate, Dean says "all we do is make a mess." *cries in Dean Winchester*

[rin-tezuka]

i would personally say that the erasure of language for a-spec and nonbinary people is a real problem. granted that's not an excuse for brainrotting transmisogyny, but unlike """"transandrophobia""" aphobia and exorsexism are in fact real, you know? i don't know if I'm being very clear and I don't want to be a jerk in anyone's inbox just because i disagree with an offhand comment, but I was left thinking this basically. for every aromantic TME theyfab or whatever there's a TMA nonbinary aromantic transfem equivalent, and they have less institutionally vested interest in appearing the "most oppressed" to declare themselves ontologically privilegeless the way TME people often use other positionalities as a cudgel against transfems. but for that person, the erasure of aromanticism as a real possibility for humans to be that's equally healthy and important and not a mental illness to be fixed is a real problem. the fact that aromanticism is something to be mocked and dismissed both in and out of "queer" spaces is a real problem. That allo people who are queer some other way still benefit from the social legitimacy of getting into relationships and get to mock and dismiss aphobia as a problem while they fight to receive more social and legal capital for being in relationships is a real problem. binary people putting all gender oppression in binary terms (correctly) without accounting for the fact that you get shit on harder for being nonbinary because there is no framework for your gender so much as existing and that binary people have trouble even conceptualizing of enben as people who are in front of them and not abstract stragglers is a real issue even if TMEs use it to cry and wail and piss their pants over being called TME. you're nonbinary (referencing your bio), so maybe saying that is pointless, but I see even other nonbinary people forgetting exorsexism is a real axis of gender oppression and not an accidental attachment to oppositional sexism sometimes. and this isn't a thought exercise to guilt trip a stranger with to me, this is a real person, someone I know personally. and maybe someone making "just call me a slur" jokes at a-spec terms isn't quite a "real problem" compared to that, but it doesn't reflect well on your supposed "community"'s ability to take the power they wield over you and the capacity to hurt you with it seriously if they're rolling their eyes at you for merely having words to say it with, does it? I guess the point of this is just that I wish people would articulate their grievances with the "everyone welcome except transfems" culture without shitting on aspec people. Oppression based on aromanticism or asexuality is a real thing I experience and a lot of my friends experience, mockery of any aspec words and experiences whatsoever both from straight people and queer people is a thing that happens a lot, and it doesn't become funny to point and laugh at the sentiment that it's rude and gross and aphobic of some people to equate our words to slurs or assimilationist nonsense just because that person who said it is also a transmisogynistic bigot.

sorry for writing an essay. It's just something I'd like to stop seeing from the people whose posts i like, since I have to see it everywhere else in my life anyway. I really want to say that I'm not trying to crucify you or judge you by a statement on the internet or anything! It's Only A Blog and all that. I guess this is just to say that I personally dislike the conflation of discussions of aphobia and exorsexism as "fake problems" like "transandrophobia" for TME people to cover their asses when they are very much real things. that's it. have a nice day! :3

I mean don't get me wrong i don't really disagree. I kinda just think concerns about stuff like making jokes about QPPs (a term i haven't heard for like 8 years) is hollow coming from somebody who hates trans women, yknow?

[cloverstarsys]

So I'm gonna just... idk talk

(Putting all this under a cut both bc it's long and bc syscourse)

So some new anti-endos have made their way into the plural tags. We've been mostly ignoring the syscourse stuff recently because it... admittedly isn't great for us, but I forgot just how cyclical and repetitive it is omg.

"DID is a trauma disorder!" We're not discussing having DID. We're discussing being plural. Just because you(/nay (probably)) don't acknowledge non-DID/OSDD/etc plurality doesn't mean it's not still there. This has been said hundreds of times, or at least that's what it feels like

"Hearing voices is common!" Hey, at least this is a new one. Not sure where it's coming from, though. I mean, yes, some level of it is common, but it really depends on the level. And this talk of DID being uncommon is all dependent on the statistics of how many people actually are diagnosed with DID, and that's not a very solid number. There's not one concrete number of, this percentage of people have DID. Psychologists don't know. All the numbers out there are estimates, and also, dependent on diagnoses. Not everyone gets diagnosed. And all this is assuming DID is the only form of plurality, which it's not!

"Sourcecalls are anti-recovery!" ...???? Seriously, what? At the heart of a sourcecall is a fictive (or factive) looking for those who they know from their source, looking for someone who might share similar experiences to them. I don't see how that's an issue. To be fair, the person who posted this seems to believe alters aren't separate from the "person", like, at all. And I'm getting to this.

"Sub/sidesystems are impossible!" OK look, I have no clue how subsystems work, but I'm going to err on the side of "people say it's something they experience, so I will believe them for now" because I believe in NOT EVERYTHING HAS TO BE PROVEN WITH FLAT FACTS IN ORDER FOR IT TO EXIST (sorry, I'm getting heated) everything, before it's proven, still exists. Gravity existed before the first theories about it. Etc etc. And who knows, there might be scientific proof of it out there that i just havent found. And when it comes to sidesystems, as far as I know, it's mostly just a separate group of headmates. How is that impossible?

"Alters aren't separate from you!" This post comes from the view of, alters are parts of a whole personality that could have been there had trauma not occurred that caused the disorder. And while yes, that is technically what alters are in a DID system, I don't think it's a bad thing to think of them as separate. Even if scientifically they're not (which I haven't seen any proof of, by the way, but, honestly, there's so little research on plurality it might be hard to come by or just not exist yet. So look above for my opinion on believing people about their lived experiences without scientific proof yet) I don't see how it could hurt to think of your alters as separate people. One of this person's other posts also claims the reason they're not separate "scientifically" is because new alters cam inherit memories. I'm sure that's true, but I don't see how that means they can't be separate people (to the extent allowed by a single human brain, I mean). And they do say at the top of another post that you can *see* your alters as separate people and that doesn't change the "facts" (those "facts" being "alters aren't headmates" (are those not just two different terms to define the same thing?), "alters aren't separate" (well, yes, to an extent, but alters can be significantly more separate than this person is claiming), and just pretty much claiming parts. And while using parts language is entirely valid, do whatever you want, forcing it on others is not. If someone doesn't want to refer to their alters as parts of themself, then they don't have to) but that doesn't change the actual facts of we have no fucking clue what's going on in the brain half the time and significantly more research is needed on non-disordered plurality. Anyways.

I need to get ready for school now, because this post has taken me almost an hour to write lol.

There's no sources for anything I've said, not because they don't exist, but because this was mostly me shouting into the void to help dispel the feelings seeing these posts gave me. There are so many blogs that provide genuine sources and all that, plus individual research is always an option. But even if there isn't research proving something (or disproving it), I'm going to lean on the side of believing peoples lived experiences.

It's always so funny, seeing so many blogs that claim to "correct misinformation" that literally just spread misinfo themselves. I think I've seen... one blog that actually corrects misinfo and isn't biased (either towards or against endogenic systems, just looking at the facts (which, believe it or not, tend to prove non-disordered/non-traumagenic (yes I'm aware those aren't the same thing) systems are real)).

Although I think the reason so many anti-endo sources can be so easily disproven is because they're all talking about DID. we are not talking about DID. you cannot conflate all plurality with just DID.

Ok, I really have to get going now.

(Unless you're really respectful about it. I'm allowing a discussion here right now, don't ruin it by being a dick.)

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[samodivas]

this [redacted] organization I follow unironically referred to as age-based discrimination as "ейджизъм" and I've been thinking about how cringe-inducing that is for days.

what the fuck is eydzizam? why did you have to literally transcribe a foreign compound word that makes zero sense when you could have simply said "discrimination based on age" and provided an insightful explanation for the issue you're addressing? how do you expect anyone to take you seriously when you can't even utilize language to make your point?

"oh but its terminology" it isn't! it truly isn't. right up there with "ейбълизъм" for "ableism" it's lazy, anglocentric and pathetically unaware of its own bias.

"but people who care about these things understand English so they know what it means" then why are you preaching to the choir? why are teenagers and 20 - 30 something year olds who have the means to master a foreign language the only audience that matters? what about people who don't know "terminology" or who are too old and out of the loop, or simply don't speak the language you're borrowing from?

I don't think wanting to have this information accessible in your own language, in terms you can fully comprehend, is somehow backwards or limiting. If this is what the entire "progressive" scene is like in this country, is it at all surprising that so many people (whether they're conservative, moderate or completely politically inactive) genuinely believe that these ideas are "planted by foreign agents" from the West?

And the fact that I get called "nationalist" for wanting the bare minimum effort to be put into adapting these topics for a localized audience is insane. If you can't make discussions on "ageism" or "ableism" accessible to a local person who doesn't speak English, it's not their problem for being "willfully ignorant" as most people coming from a place of privilege are. it's your problem for dismissing a huge segment of the population before they can even learn what the fuck you're preaching.

[wolfpackmuses]

@cathiief asked: "for munday: give me some of YOUR hot takes and unpopular opinions about the RPC."

From: Ask the Mun anything you want! || Accepting!

I won't lie: I have a lot of hot takes and unpopular opinions. In reality, a lot of them may not actually be hot takes or anything, but I have opinions to say about the RPC as a whole.

First things first: I truly believe that communication is seriously lacking in the RPC, as a whole. There are a lot of times when I wonder if things could be settled between people if stuff was talked out between others, privately, of course, to settle things and not turn it into a massive "call out" or a bunch of petty drama. I do think that there are times when call-outs can be useful, however, I have my doubts that every callout out there is needed, and discussing the issue between people is a far better option.

Related to my last thing, I don't think everyone will like one another and that's ok. What isn't ok is creating a call-out or vague post, whatever it might be, to trash-talk the person because you don't like them anymore or whatever else. Just hard block and move on, it's literally not that difficult.

It certainly seems like helping people get around in a community has gone the way of the dinosaurs, in terms of nobody reblogging promos anymore. I also, personally, believe that people become incredibly "cliquish" with others and refuse to accept or help new members of a community get the word out and all because people like to stay close to a certain group. Which I don't think is bad, but I do think more people should spread the word about new blogs and help others find people to write with.

I have grown incredibly tired of the fact that people don't send in memes as well, it seems. Sure, I might have people do it every now and again, but theoretically, memes are supposed to be icebreakers between blogs and characters. I think people need to send more to start interacting with others, otherwise people will just unfollow and never interact because either you or the other person refuse to actually do any sort of interaction with one another.

Speaking of, I don't fully understand the idea of following someone and then never interact with them. I know this can be a two-way street, but I know I've had experiences where I try to send memes or write a starter, and then people never respond or anything, leading to me unfollowing. I'm here for writing and meeting new people, I'm not a "number" for your account, plain and simple.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I despise the "send this to your favorite blogs so they know you love them!" bullshit. In my time on Tumblr, I have seen those go around so many times and yet I know for a fact lots of people, myself included, never receive any of those. I don't think they're needed and I think they really drive the point home about people having "favorite blogs" that they only want to interact with and no one else.

Also, just a small thing to note: Don't be afraid to reach out to me or others if you want to chat, plot, discuss ships, etc. I know I've been told a few times in the past that people think I'm intimidating, mainly because of my writing, and I promise I'm not. I am legit here to have fun and meet new people. So, please, come chat with me if you want to and I will gush about my muses!

[leftclown]

i think by and large people need to come to terms with the fact that pretty much everybody is mentally ill and just because some people don't know how/refuse to explore that doesn't make them un-allowed to relate or use language relating to mental illness actually. i don't really know what yall expected when mentally ill folks started working to destigmatize mental illness, obviously people are going to start using language related to mental health to describe their experiences.

like if priv-addled Jessica can recognize that her crush is effecting her mood wildly from day to day, and she clings to certain interactions to further an inner narrative and then behaves around that inner narrative, guess what she's a little 🌟delulu🌟 and saying so might help ground her in reality.

or people claiming you can't say you suffered narc abuse. narcissism is not on it's own a mental illness. narcissism had a place in the lexicon long before it was used in the DSM. someone needs to meet the criteria to qualify for NPD, but NPD =/= narcissism. narcissism is a combination of self-centeredness, contempt for others, vanity, and rage/emotional outbursts. being abused by someone who's like that can leave unique emotional wounds on someone, so yeah, it's an apt way to describe abuse by a narcissistic person.

traumadumping is another term i see given shit but as i relate to it it's the only way to describe being a service worker and having a stranger come up to you and bleed all over you because you're a captive audience. or being a child and having your parent come home and vent to you every single day. if you're seriously preaching that people should have patience in these developmental & physically taxing moments, thats ridiculous. it was never meant to describe what goes on in a friendship or relationship between a person who can't stop complaining and a person who can't stop helping; that is more aptly a boundary issue.

so like idk. have some compassion for other people. try to stop seeing the whole world as victim/aggressor or maybe one day you're going to wind up just as un-self-aware, acting like those are Your words and only You can use them. goddamn. i dont always have to cross reference someones experience with my own to validate them & understand they're expressing pain.

[chirpsythismorning]

Idk what’s worse, the fact that there are milkvans out there that believe El commissioned Will’s painting, or that a majority of milkvans believe she didn’t, but still think everything Will said to Mike in the van scene applies to how El feels about Mike as well. And honestly, how could they not? Mike looked very happy and emotional hearing Will's words in the van... no shit they're hoping that's how El feels.

But El never called Mike the heart. El never said she needed Mike and always will. Those words coming from Will's feelings for Mike, then being used to inspire Mike to give his monologue to El, was disingenuous bc it was never El’s feelings being responded to in the first place.

‘It only works if it comes from you’

That’s the whole problem. It didn’t work bc it was coming from Will, not El.

IF everything Will said applied to El, why not have it come from her?

No, but seriously??

Is s5 just going to open up to El apologizing to Mike for ignoring him after the monologue, followed by her just repeating everything Will said with her own twist and Mike being like cool!! That works for me!

The problem with making the narrative choice to instead focus on Will's feelings at the forefront, only to follow it up with El's identical feelings, does nothing but make the whole thing fall flat.

Instead of seeing this main couple voice their love for each other themselves, I gotta have her brother do it for her?? And only then after he does it, can I see her do it in like a 2.0 version of sorts????

So many milkvans are willing to acknowledge that Mike and El’s dynamic throughout the series is riddled frivolous conflict more than anything, with little to no time dedicated to showing the development that actually matters. They say they wish the show spent more time with them actually face to face acknowledging how they both feel verbally without the constant cloud of some other third party interfering, causing them to have issues. They say that this time though, they think the Duffers will magically pull through for them and go from what they believe is shitty writing to ‘good’ writing, based in terms of how they'll handle Mike and El's relationship in s5...

But that's not realistic on any front, milkvan, byler or otherwise.

And that's a big part of the problem, bc they know the pacing has not been great for them, and they NEED the show to just give them Mike and El so they can be happy, but that's not how you build up suspense for a love story. And dragging out Mike and El any more, would just be a repeat of every other season before. They reached their peak and so they can only down from here. That's kind of the whole point.

One thing to note is that the Duffers always create conflict for the incompatible couple early in a season, so that the audience doesn’t feel too uncomfortable with the idea of considering the other option that’s at the forefront for the rest of the season.

This will ESPECIALLY be the case for byler, bc Will already has home wrecker allegations as it is. And it's also a highly controversial queer ship, and so people are going to be making claims left and right that it’s wrong bc of xyz.

They just wont be able to have byler scenes loaded with romantic tension all season long, more than any other season, and with the story making it more obvious they want us to root for them, while also having Mike and El still be together. And it's simply bc the reality is the Duffers have a record of doing the complete opposite of that.

This is also endgame territory, so there is a serious pressure on the writers part to get their audience to be closer to rooting for byler than denying it even being possible. Meaning they NEED the audience to be watching their first kiss and, for better or worse, be thinking, FINALLY just get it over with already!

Also what's El's supposed to be up to while this is happening? Are we assuming she's just stringing along waiting for Mike to get his shit together? Like Jesus!

El has every right to say her piece and get that shit over with, by episode 1 or 2 at the latest. She could be a focused on Max and her family and friends, which if you'll note also includes Mike and Will, but instead this time without the pressure of her having to hope that something will turn around and suddenly Mike will decide he finally loves her... She doesn't deserve that.

Byler is clearly the route they are taking. If that is the plan, it's time to make this separation so that the audience is finally confronted with viewing Mike and El without the constant rose tinted love at first sight goggles, and instead give them a chance to be their authentic selves.

And I think El, being a character that could barely speak in s1, that her not getting her own voice in this situation is fucking serious. El not being able to say those words to Mike herself, like there's a reason for that. And so when she finally does get to say how she feels, there isn't going to be any room for subtext or misunderstanding, not on the audiences part nor Mike's. El has always been pretty clear about what she wants and I think that will apply in s5 now more than ever.