#but in a way it’s also deeply serious
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i think talking about “cope” within a tjlc context is hilarious at this point. i’m not on copium baby i’m on something worse! we moved beyond notions of cope approximately 4 years ago. blog theory and EMP have burned out like great stars and all that’s left is the hardest stringiest life forms. what anyone still riding this train has going on is much more complicated and personal than cope. i invented cope. after what i’ve seen there’s nothing cope could do for me. i stare into the eye of the storm with breathtaking awareness. i welcome entropy. “what else could they possibly mean by this?” is our equivalent of “what is the sound of one hand clapping?” almost a meditation on the nature of our state. there is no answer to this question, in fact the very lack of an answer is the point. cope is for those who still can shield their eyes, but we have been burdened with sight! i took an edible approximately three hours ago
#caveats:#im still pro blog theory i just mean that the fever pitch of theory making to ~fix~ s4 is past us#also you should read this like i’m a campus preacher screaming at you about fornication#it’s not a serious post#but in a way it’s also deeply serious#i do feel ‘beyond’ what we typically understand to be like fandom delusion and cope in the aftermath of shit not going how they wanted#like clearly we’ve surpassed that now this isn’t renewasacrew this is the psych ward#im levitating off the ground like henry sugar from my years of diligent study of johnlock esoterica#there are like 10 ppl on this app who are even able to get what i’m talking about sometimes#god i’m high
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i think the thing a lot of papyrus takes get wrong is that they forget that, among other things, papyrus is funny. in my experience writing papyrus, i often find the most funny line is the most in-character one. an unfunny papyrus doesn’t ever feel like an accurate papyrus to me. it’s more than part of the game, it’s part of his character. and disregarding that is what messes up a lot of otherwise good impressions of him.
#the same can be said for sans too#the biggest issue with the 2015 fandom interpretation (besides shipping him with a child) was that he was way too serious all the time.#sans actually made me crack up several times during the genocide route#i lost it at “cool mutant hand”#also regarding papyrus#even back when innocent naive papyrus was a thing he wasn’t funny#and this is honestly a big problem considering how deeply intertwined humor is with undertale’s narrative#looking at you chara “laughed it off” dreemurr#toriel “laughs as she dies” dreemurr#sans and papyrus “always smiling” undertale#that one smiling npc in snowdin yeah i didn’t forget about you#seriously gotta stop putting half the post in the tags again this is getting ridiculous#undertale#papyrus#sans#character analysis#not much of one but i think it’s worth the tag
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Not BL but I just gotta say how much I love that Tae Sung is the reason the time shenanigans stopped. I also love that without his memores he really just saw Im Sol as a friend and I ADORED their friendship. It was so wholesome. But the fact that he was the one to close the loop so to speak? And then they thanks him for it? I could cry. I wish I could articulate this better but I’m still processing I love Tae Sung so much and his story is just so good for how little he was actually in the show.
#lovely runner#korean drama#k drama#i don’t often post about the non bl i watch#but something about this one just really hit for me#it was so silly and serious and i think it balanced it well#but also all of the characters were just a touch unhinged in such a fun way#and they also cared so deeply for others and were all so kind#i want a million more dramas like this please
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a current day nils and a 90s college student nils who's way too intense about his internship walk into a bar
#hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii nils hiiii 💗🤭#let me get my important tags out of the way so i can write you a novella in the rest of them#ts4#ts4 cas#ts4 edit#the sims 4#nils#i've been exploring his character 🏃♂️#his full name is nils pelletier he's from canada originally he went to nyc for college and stayed there forever#he didn't grow up with much but he was really good at school so he got a scholarship and he was very very determined to become rich#he interned at frankie's dad's company and was offered a full time position after he graduated yayy you made it. i guess :| (evil company)#he's always been very stern very serious very quiet he's never had many if any friends. he was a deeply unhappy child#his parents weren't even bad they're nice and supportive and tried their best#he was married and has one son but he hasn't been married for a while. i don't know if it's divorce or death or what yet#it was the first girl he ever had a relationship with and he was also her first relationship#a very dull marriage but again not a bad one. she was nice and supportive and tried her best#it seemed like it was what they were supposed to do. get married and have a child bam done you did what was expected congrats#they barely ever even argued it was just. well loveless seems a harsh word. and 'well they were friends at least' seems untruthful#anyway he often has to be frankie's handler because frankie's dad is his boss and he does what he's told always#frankie's really difficult though
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please don’t by k.will did more for the gays back in 2012 than any boy group can possibly do with fan service and crop tops in 2024
#do young kpoppies know about please don’t by k.will. im serious do they know#I think about it a lot#it’s impossible to replicate the feeling of being gay and watching that mv in the 2010s and just getting bodyslammed by the ending.#like he really just dropped that shit in TWENTY TWELVE#kibumblabs#to this day I think that’s the most explicitly gay mv ive seen in kpop by an established artist#(ie not holland. no shade to him but he kinda built his platform on being an openly gay artist and he’s not a big industry name or anything#which makes the impact significantly different. if that makes sense. anyway.)#like think about any other example. almost all of them can be brushed off as fan service or are at least vague enough to be#up for interpretation#please don’t’s ending is nearly fucking impossible to write off as anything but explicitly gay#no fanservice involved. no vague staring in each other’s eyes. just straight up Oh He’s Not Jealous Of His Friend He’s Jealous Of His#Friend’s Fiancé. oh#like that’s the whole point. interpreting it any other way doesn’t make sense with the impact it’s purposefully supposed to make#like seriously try to say ‘he’s just sad he’s losing his friend to marriage :(‘ or something. you have to be REAL fucking stupid or#deeply in denial to make that argument let alone believe it#anyway. I appreciate this mv a lot#k.will the OG of doomed yaoi in kpop#kill me#closest contender off the top of my head is one more day by sistar#also note I am talking about mvs here not songs in general#cause if I were talking about songs in general. key’s out there pretty much writing about gay sex at this point so I mean#k.will#kpop#only adding actual tags because I want you to watch this mv if you haven’t already
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[guy who lives in lowkey constant fear of being flanderized and infantalized and flattened and misunderstood and not taken seriously as an entire human person with complex thoughts and feelings in real life] yeah I dunno why I feel so strongly and get so defensive about Fantasy Racism and fantasy-race stereotyping it's just a really big sticking point for me for some mysterious reason
#justin NPCs being casually racist to aubree for being a halfling because he's intentionally doing well-thought-out fantasy worldbuilding#vs jill NPCs being casually racist to tsakesh very obviously because SHE is thinking of him as A Kitty who also loves drugs and crime#rather than LISTEN!! to literally ANYTHIIIING I ever said about what he's actually like as a person!!!#justin: this NPC is projecting stereotypes onto you because they don't see halflings as real people#jill: this NPC is projecting stereotypes onto you because *I* can't conceptualize a khajiit as a real person-- even your PC#['real people' as in within the bounds of their own fictional worlds obviously]#OH BOY THE LATTER FEELS REALLY BAD. AND I REALLY LOVE MY FRIEND BUT GUESS WHO DOES THIS THE MOST TO PEOPLE IRL TOO LMAO#TO BE EXTREMELY CLEAR: NOT in an irl racism way! but in an 'I've decided your entire personality is [misinterpreted quirk]' way#IT'S SO WEIRD THAT I GET SO WEIRD ABOUT GNOMES BEING TREATED AS A JOKE RACE BECAUSE THEY HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.#IT'S SO WEIRD THAT I GET SO FUCKING ANGRY ABOUT TOLKIEN ELVES BEING REBRANDED AS DEEPLY STOIC AND SERIOUS#SO THAT THEY CAN BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY-- BECAUSE ANY SILLINESS UTTERLY PRECLUDES SERIOUSNESS OR COMPLEXITY#IT'S SO! WEIRD!! THAT I FEEL SOME KIND OF WAY ABOUT HALFLINGS BEING UNIVERSALLY TYPECAST FOR HOW THEY LOOK!!#WHICH THEY COULDN'T HELP EVEN IF THEY WANTED TO!!#WEIRD WEIRD WEIRD!! WOWIE!!!#there are a million reasons dungeon meshi is the best but this is one of them. tbh.#'this man looks 12. this isn't a joke it's a reality of this world and it's something he has to live with and people Aren't Normal about it#'but he's still an entire person. do you hear me?? he is still an entire human being!!'#'you thought this dog-man was a silly funney joke but joke's on YOU because he's ALSO an entire goddamn person'#'and everyone in-world who treats him like just a funney doggy is wrong! they're just perpetuating in-world racism!'#IT LIVES ITS ENTIRE LIFE SO YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY EVENTUALLY#HOLLERING INTO THE SKY#about me
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I’m curious why you found Inside Out 2 insulting? I recognize that everyone is different, but as someone with an anxiety disorder I personally found it pretty relatable
Throughout my teenage years, when my anxiety was at its most debilitating and my coping skills were basically nonexistent, I was repeatedly met with the idea that "every teen is a bit anxious". This, to an extent, is true, being a teenager IS scary and you're probably going to have some level of anxiety. However, I had an active anxiety disorder. I was prone to frequent panic attacks, skipping school because I couldn't even fathom the idea of going to class out of just sheer intense dread and fear, and all around just having an extremely bad time. I went into the movie with an already decently negative expectation because of that, I didn't like how anxiety was shown to show up ONLY when Riley became a teenager, BUT I was willing to set aside my own distaste of it for the sake of like, I do get why they went the direction of adding new emotions as characters, as much as I disagree with that.
However I found it wildly insulting because I feel the level of intense anxiety Riley is shown to have breaches what I'd consider a "normal" level of anxiety and instead feels more like an anxiety disorder, which, again, it angers me to be once again met with the idea that you only get anxious once you're a teenager, or when signs of much higher levels of anxiety than just normal nervousness are brushed aside with that excuse.
Barring that issue, though that is the biggest in my opinion, basically at every corner I was annoyed by something. This movie felt like it could've been incredibly relatable to me, I was a horrendously anxious teen (Still am anxious just not a teen and also I'm better at coping now) in competitive highschool sports (Yes marching band IS a sport I DO die on this hill), but like... it just continually let me down. The coach is genuinely an asshole, doing things like not showing what the expectations are and then proceeding to single out who she knows are the newcomers as breaking rules that had not been properly established, failing to recognize Riley clearly struggling mentally, and honestly, the biggest sin, fucking letting her in the sport at all. Riley's outburst at the other players should've gotten her taken out of the running entirely, I refuse to believe otherwise.
Which, this is kind of all over the place because I'm not really writing this as a full proper breakdown and more just "Jay angrily rambles to an anon with no direction", but hey, SUPER don't like that Riley's over-practicing isn't really called out at all as being harmful. The ROOT of it is, we know she's only doing that because anxiety is driving her to do that, but like... she performs really well. She's met by the older student (I forget her name, God) with positivity for this, and I'm personally just kind of uncomfortable with how her overworking herself is viewed as just like... neutral. And it's only the fact it's stemming from anxiety that's bad.
There's a lot more (I found the pacing bad, I think, ESPECIALLY given that this is a childrens movie, Riley should've been given EXPLICIT help from the people around her barring just "her friends say they're still friends", I think things like anxiety driving her to look at the notebook yet NOT considering the janitor walking by is just... stupid, and in my experience, not at all how anxiety manifests, ect, ect), but ultimately this is not like, a serious breakdown, more just me listing off the top of my head the things that really fucking annoyed me. Also, Ennui was a stupid character. I mean all of the new emotions were fucking stupid because they're all VERY derivative of OTHER emotions if you've made the commitment that the entire range of human emotion be boiled down to just joy/sadness/anger/fear/disgust, but whatever.
I thought the video game guy was funny though. I'm a sucker for those kinds of jokes. I like that his hair routinely was clipping through his outfit
#FOR THE RECORD not mad at you anon <3#and id have to go reference my original ramblings i had with lane to make a more structured takedown of everything that bothered me#but generally i think it failed to present anxiety in a way i think is helpful- rather perpetrating the exact sentiment-#-that i find WILDLY unhelpful and frequently very harmful#and also given that its target audience is children- i think it failed to give kids resources of which to actually HELP themselves-#-or express themselves better when they ARE anxious#I think the core of my issue is just. I think the way Riley is shown falls much more in line with disordered anxiety than just normal teen-#-anxiousness. and it upsets me that its not treated as such and not shown respect as such#ALSO. HEY SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE IMPLICATION OF HER EMOTIONS NOT KNOWING HER SECRETS#that makes me deeply uncomfortable bc like. that implies some more serious issues at play#which yes obviously the movie is not trying to imply that At All. but i still feel its a bit irresponsible with that anyways
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eiffel and hera both hate rules, have authority issues, will go out of their way to make things difficult just because they hate being told what to do, etc. but the crucial difference is that hera gets purposeful and angry and vindictive about it in a way eiffel doesn't have to. it's something she has to fight for and the greater the stakes the more it means for her, personally, to be able to resist orders. eiffel is pretty much the same to anyone giving him any type of orders, by which i mean he's like "yeah, yeah, don't worry about it, i've totally got this" ← already forgot what he was told.
#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#hera wolf 359#you know what i mean. eiffel is a dedicated slacker and will do anything to avoid work even if it's actually making more work for him#and i think that's deeply admirable#but it's different for hera who has so much riding on. the way she presents herself and the responsibility she shoulders#it's an act of resistance and i think eiffel makes space for her but it's like. this isn't a particularly serious post so#i'll get into it later but i think there's something about eiffel's relative privilege and the way. he overlooks some things because of it#but also at his best is able to leverage that in defense of others. and particularly hera. anyway.
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hate to be the one to say this, but "if you don't love [x] character(s), it's a red flag" makes absolutely no sense. my opinions on [x] character(s) are irrelevant. the fact that I eat pizza from the crust to the tip IS a red flag, though, and these have nothing to do with each other
#this is a joke#it is also true in that I do eat pizza from crust to tip#that is a thing that I do#but I am simply making a haha#okay on a slightly more serious note liking characters is a deeply personal thing!#not everyone likes all kinds of characters#if you're behaving in a bigoted way there is a larger issue at hand than just ''I don't like [x] character''#so like. its is kind of pointless to assess anyone like this ever#this is mildly a subtweet of something but mostly I just wanted to make a joke
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Something about the way Ashton Frey has horrible self worth issues and constantly feels like he’s a bad friend and letting everyone down by existing wrong but also the way he shows his affection for his friends is by bothering them by invading their personal space crashing on their couch without asking first using stupid nicknames no one likes and like, they genuinely do get annoyed with him for this! But he lacks the social awareness to know where he’s gone wrong and just assumes he’s this horrible presence who inevitably ruins everything for everyone. It’s like he knows he’s annoying but doesn’t know WHY or how to make it stop. Good shit
#the klock keeps ticking#the letter#the letter vn#ashton frey#oh i feel the need to do some serious letter posting coming on#itll be me talking to myself per usual#but nah the autism it hits so hard just the feeling of thinking you have some curse that makes you ruin everything#and you just dont know why but everyone is mad at you and you think you deserve it#and the way a big part of his arc is learning to communicate honestly and learning his worth#and like the way he does have to take responsibility for times hes genuinely crossing boundaries with his friends#but also he doesnt have to take ALL the responsibility at the same time#i just love the way its done like he isnt absolved of blame but hes also not treated like some asshole#and hes loved so so deeply by his friends and he loves them so so deeply and its everyones responsibility to make that known#hes just so important to meeeee okay hes my funny guy hes literally ash from the lux city#such a cool dude pretty fly for an asian guy
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processed some trauma i think
#i did a lot of things very wrong when i was a teenager but also i was a teenager and everything was difficult#i feel bad for how i ended some of my friendships over the years bc it was often like.#they were clearly struggling. something was deeply wrong with all of my friends home lives. deadly serious things. molestation abuse etc#but when i was 14-16 that was extremely difficult for me to contextualize. i knew it was bad of course i wasnt stupid#it was more just. i didnt have the life experience to know just How Much it affected a person.#that type of shit can obliterate healthy functioning adults. the type of behavior it invokes in teens can be fucking UNPARALLELED#it affects your entire brain and body. i dont think theres a single part of you thats left completely undamaged.#in retrospect i now recognize that there was more i could've done. i could've talked to my parents more and i really dont know why I didnt.#i think I just felt like nothing could be done?#and there probably wasnt much that could be done#but idk. it could've helped me process it which could've helped them process it.#and as important as i think compassion is. even towards people who can be viscerally unpleasant. i was a kid. not a social worker#it was the responsibility of the adults around us to make it better. and they either failed or made it worse.#it's just awful to think back on it and realize that we were all in this shit together. but the trauma ripped us apart anyway.#i really sincerely hope everyone from those dA chatroom days are doing better now. i hope they're safe. i hope they're not dead.#it's always going to bother me a little bit that i have no way of knowing what happened to any of them.
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thinking pondering to me john torres is like. what if u met a woman. with confidence and dignity and a strong moral backbone. you meet and she makes a distinct impression with her honesty and her frankness and she seems like she's always sure of what she wants and what she needs and she's so different from anyone else you know and thats exciting and she's exciting and she likes you specifically you. and you don't think much of you but it feels good to be liked by someone like that. you love her of course. you marry her. of course!
#diary#miral of course miral this post as all other posts on my blog is about miral. head in my hands#john torres and his projected insecurities and shitty behavior you will always be infamous.#im so deeply rooted in my headcanons for them i have au's . girl the universe isnt even that well established ?#call me b'elanna torres the way i'm turning miral and john over in my head to figure out what the heck happened#in my head john and miral are like. john voice she's never stuttered in her life she always knows what to do she's very serious strong head#on her shoulders. my kind of woman.#meanwhile miral is like. act first pray on it later was that a mistake? well what is a mistake really this is my path now#and i'll have to see how to handle what has been done. seeing as now it can't be changed shrugs. the honorable thing to do.#i also think they see a lot of their flaws as like-#consequences of their cultures and not like personal flaws which can sometimes be true but also sometimes they are very much flaws in the#person.#miral is a little too sure of herself bordering on arrogance and likes control. john is like ahh klingons and their surefootedness :)#<- a little correct but also very wrong.#john is very like. at his worst a cold shoulder bad at personal confrontation kind of a pushover quick to resent but usually just seems#serious and occasionally quiet . normally social tho! so miral is like. a consequence of his upbringing that can't be changed. i will#take him as he is.#which is a nice sentiment and would normally be applied well unless you are these two specifically.#what happens when its 10 or even just five years later and you're getting tired of the cowardice? what happens when its five years later and#you can't go a day without arguing? what happens then.#did you confuse her arrogance for poise for assertiveness? did you confuse her recklessness with courage? whos wrong her or you?#miral voice is he a fool does he not care? he's content to just stand by? cower?#i think from the klingon pov a man who isn't willing to fight for you and your relationship must be devastatinggggg#not literally of course here but also literally. lol#but yeah what does it do to you when the person you love won't even argue with you anymore just totally pulls away? leaves. head in my hands#who do you think fell first. idk but i know who fell harder! :) <- tears in my eyes#i really like pathways where they made miral like a chatty woman and had her offer to host parties for b'elanna and her friends it was so#sweet i should read it again.#i like her to be a little crazy though <3 :)
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okay so what i've gathered is beastlife season three finale + semifinale is going to be absolutely miserable for me and i should clear my schedule to deal with the emotional impact. fantastic. swagever
#i cant believe nobody ever let me unmute stream. you all suck by the way#<-JOKING !!! this is so funny to me oh my god#i panicked so much#i'm not used to people yelling my name#oh mygodd#yeah. muted stream. im. ohbymogd#new secret bit idea. this will be funny to only me.#um. anyways my theory is that it's because fishie never actually died technically it was all soulmate deaths#i have no. like. basis for this. except for the it wasn't your fault comment#which. i'm going to be normal about. why do people keep saying that#moch_ila whispered to you. it wasn't your fault#kiiwiibird whispered to you. i never regretted it#you fuckers#hate you all#slash positive#in all seriousness if it's because fishie never died s2 then. um. points to joke theory about fishie being Like That session 5 because thats#when she kept getting eliminated. that could technically also work#which. would also go into the. the salmon head isn't cursed she's just fucking like that theory#fuck wait no i was joking god damn it nkw i'm talking myself into it. fuck. i cant write any more midnight analysis posts .....#i was serious abt my heart rate spiking btw !!! 124 . um. there's something deeply terribly wrong with me#whisp whispers
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i love when a fic chapter has a warning for racism homophobia or any form of bigotry in the notes and then you get to that part of the fic and it’s the most basic cishet white liberal understanding of hatecrimes ever
#as a man with white supremacists on the white side of his family the Do Not Talk Like That#all things serious though these warnings are good and i’m very glad that you dear author have no idea how people actually speak in a deeply#prejudiced way! genuinely! very very glad. but also amusing to read as someone who does know
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One thing about Alfonse (at least in my head in my heart) is that he's the voice of reason Up Until he fucking isn't. At the drop of a hat he is capable of becoming the most absurd and unhinged person in the room. The Core of it is either 1) He fully believes or at least is clinging to the belief that he's still 100% reasonable and in his right mind 2) Occasional tryhardism bites him in the ass 3) He's being silly. This is enrichment for him. Zoomies
#fire emblem#feh#like obvs the more dramatic example of this is lif. esp first case scenario#but so deeply so seriously ESP when i do portray him as a voice of reason (which! he is! often!) i NEED to also remember#he's silly. you wouldn't fucking expect it. one of his defining characteristics over and over again is how serious he is.#IT IS. JUST. SUCH a funny combo to me. bc his silliness is very blink and you'll miss it.#it's very buried under his role and position and his general more reserved personality.#but i swear to god there are moments where i feel so strongly he's just playing. he's having fun. he's goofing off.#and the WAY he does it is so subtle. but i can see it. alfonse shrimp colors.#fe alfonse
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🚬….
#am going to exhibit mental illness in the tags as heads up shdhdjfjf also dw none of what I say is#abt or concerns folks here but#yeah. as a tldr very Gabrielcore of me haha but yeah#I wondered for a long time how I could go years without#when a crumb here awakens a voracious hunger in me for affection and approval#and there is simply an element of ego to it - to enjoying the idea that those I admire like what i say#but I think the larger part is simply that I’m myself here#in a way I’m not irl. I’m not…I can’t be vulnerable to people. I can’t let them see me. I don’t want to be rejected I think#but here I am simply. unaware to people who don’t click with me. no one interacts w me unless they’d like to#and there’s a certainty to that which just isn’t quite present irl#so I think the reason I get so easily attached IS because it’s me. because it’s my true self. and I don’t. I don’t know how to not want that#approval and affection beyond just letting the feeling fade with time. beyond removing myself from spaces where it occurs#because it’s not. it’s not fair to foist that onto people who didn’t enter that knowingly. I don’t#I don’t want to be too much. I always feel like I’m too much. too serious too intense feeling too deeply and on and on#I m want to be just enough. not too little or too much.#and yet that’s not healthy nor is honest to those you want to connect w#and people aren’t obligated to connect w you - it’s egotistical to simply think you can correct social step your way into someone’s regard!#but ah I don’t know. it’s been a night. I just wanted to say it plain and honest and finally get it out#but this isn’t like shdhdj asking for pity and such. I’ll be okay it’s all just part of it#vent.txt
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