#it is also true in that I do eat pizza from crust to tip

[revvethasmythh]

hate to be the one to say this, but "if you don't love [x] character(s), it's a red flag" makes absolutely no sense. my opinions on [x] character(s) are irrelevant. the fact that I eat pizza from the crust to the tip IS a red flag, though, and these have nothing to do with each other

[neoheros]

haikyuu boys as domestic boyfriend things feat. akaashi + kuroo + iwaizumi + tsukishima

akaashi keiji

i’ve said it once and i’ll say it as much as i can !!! he is the only boyfriend !! Ever !!!!

as we all know akaashi is pretty observant on a lot of things seeing that he’s their team’s vice captain and setter, he gotta be

he’s used to being keen on the people around him especially when it comes to his best friend, bokuto so it’s kinda a given that he’s used to it

when you and him started dating, he was almost always pretty nervous when it came to you cause you always used to intimidate him

and now that you’re someone he’s in a romantic relationship with, he figured it’s his job to make sure he knows what you want

basically he’s an over attentive babie

he never really saw anything in your habits worth noting other than the fact that you had a knack for taking home his hoodies and not returning them

you, showing up to school with his hoodie on: hey akaashi let’s exchange hoodies i like the one you have on right now

akaashi: but it looks exactly the same..?

you: yea but this doesn’t smell like you anymore 🥺👉👈

he’s so !!! soft !!!!!

he really lets you take home every hoodie you borrow from him for that sole reason and he insisted that he just sprays your clothes with his cologne but you’re like “nah i like it when the smell comes from you”

i 1000% guarantee that this guy smells like fresh cologne but not the strong ones like axe cause he knows what’s up

one time he came over to your place and there’s just a whole ass drawer labeled ‘akaashi’s’ and it has about 3 or 4 of his sweatshirts

you do it so often that it escalates to when you’re coming over you purposefully don’t bring any spare clothes just so you can wear his

akaashi: hey are you ready for bed?

you, in his oversized shirt and jersey shorts:

akaashi, on the verge of tears: 🥺

tsukishima kei

some would argue that he’s a bad boyfriend cause of his sharp tongue and stingy attitude

and you know what !!! if you think that, i will fight you !!!! on sight !!!!

he’s a precious boy and he may come off as a bit harsh and too much sometimes but when it comes to people that means a lot to him he’s just the absolute best !!

like akaashi, he’s pretty observant to his friends and teammates so it’s only a given that he’s that keen when it comes to you too

especially when it involves food

you do this thing where whenever the two of you go out to eat, no matter what he orders, you take a bite out of it

at first he was kinda thrown off guard but it didn’t really bother him that much since it was literally just food

he thinks it’s cute at how eager you can be when it comes to what to order moreso when you guys come to a place you haven’t eaten at before

you: maybe i should order their cinnamon coated churros

tsukki: no you don’t like cinnamon

but he’s not trying to dictate you on what to eat, he just knows !!!

he’s seen you react to all kinds of food and by now he’s kinda better than you at knowing what you like

also !! when he’s ordering food, he completely takes you into account as well !!

he wants pizza with full stuffed crusts but he remembers that eating too much bread makes you feel insecure ? nuh uh honey !! he’s not getting that !!

you: hey i think i’m gonna get their new dairy queen flavor, it looks good !!! 🥺

tsukki, knowing fully well that you won’t like it: yeah? i think i’m gonna get your usual, i wanna see why you like it so much

kuroo tetsuro

oh boy

one thing to know about kuroo when he’s in a relationship is that he’s a real fricken !!! SIMP !!!!!

simp in the sense that he’s so whipped and just borderline adores you bro i’m not even kidding

he’s a simp but only for you !!!

that includes walking you home everyday even if that meant you have to wait up until his practices end and carrying your books for you even when you insist that they’re not heavy at all

he also likes the way you smell a lot !!!

that’s why he loves giving you hugs especially when they’re from behind and he buries his head on the crook of your neck and just takes a whiff

like it’s super weird, but to him you just smell so fresh and good that for christmas you gave him a bottle of the perfume you wear to school everyday as a joke and he liked it

the first time you invited him over to chill at your house was on a thursday evening to study together and that’s when he met your mom

he loved your mom !!!

she was so cool with having him around that before you knew it your small study date turned into watching movies with him and your mother in the living room

he kept making jokes in between that you were sure your mom wouldn’t allow that that was the last time he came over

so short afternoons turned into spending the day together at your house or sneaking in through the window to hang out

he got so used to always being there every thursday for movie night that it wasn’t even a surprise to anyone that your mom trusted him enough to be alone with you

kuroo, at your house: hey! is it okay if i hang out here for a while? we don’t have practice haha

your mom: oh but y/n won’t be getting home for another hour..?

kuroo, already taking off his shoes: oh that’s totally fine

your mom joked about getting him his own key since he’s practically there all the time

you were so soft with that idea but it was a bit too far so all three of you just settled on getting kuroo his own separate drawer in your cabinet 🥺

kuroo: you just want more of my clothes to wear

you: that’s not true

kuroo: are you lying?

you: through my teeth ❤️

oh and also if you suddenly see kuroo arrive without warning, there’s absolutely no use in being shocked since he does that a lot these days

he’s also really chill with waiting out on your porch when neither you and your mom are at home and one time you were greeted with an asleep kuroo leaning against one of your pillars in the cold

your mom: aight we’re getting him a key

iwaizumi hajime

here are tips on how to get your boyfriend to stop looking at you like he’s ruthlessly shading you on his twitter account on a daily ❤️

alright now that all iwa stans are here !!!

i’m joking so anyways

i have this headcanon that iwa is just really punctual to everything because he got used to oikawa always being late so he started showing up as early as he can so he could stand as a proxy

it’s all really soft and his intentions are really kind but it starts being a bother when he’s TOO on time, yk?

ever since the two of you started dating he’s insisted on driving you to school everyday

at the time you were really 🥺 cause bro imagine iwa knocking at your door first thing in the morning with a hoodie on and an extra sweatshirt for you to wear cause it’s super cold

but then you realize that when he said he’ll pick you up at 7 in the morning he was actually being serious and not just making a joke because holy crap dude did you say 7 ???

you, asleep:

iwa, texting you: if you’re still in bed, i’m gonna go in there and drag you to school in your pajamas ❤️

but that’s ok because your mom insists that he comes inside for breakfast while he waits for you to get ready

that’s when you learn that since he got so used to arriving early to open up the gym he rarely eats in the morning

you were like HUH ?????

it threw you off that this man didn’t eat breakfast because homeboy had the body of a greek god let’s be honest and he was just there walking around not getting proper nutrition ??????

so when you get in his car, you hand him a protein bar and a bottle of yakult before he drove off

iwa: oh no thank you

you: it’s cute that you think i was offering

so he reluctantly eats the bar and he’s still off about drinking the yakult cause he’s never had it before but when he did !!!

he finished it in one drink, and you swear it looked like he had stars in his eyes

frankly, you took all the credit for that and starting from that day on you made sure to always stock up on your protein bars and yakult so you could ensure that your boyfriend stayed healthy

iwa: oh there are chocolate chips on this one 🥺

you, fastening your seatbelt: yeah, i’m not an idiot. i know how to trick my boyfriend into eating his protein !!!

[snowdice]

Rats, Pizza, and Supply Closets (Part of the Cuffed Universe Series)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan/Remus/Virgil (a bit more Logan/Remus focus)

Characters: Logan, Virgil, Remus

Summary: Logan is very surprised by the fact that Remus did not come to this pizzeria with the goal to capture him, and now that they’re both here, it turns out their objectives align far more than expected.

AKA: The First Truce

This is a Cuffed Universe fic.

Previous fics in this series:

Tea, Cookies, and Handcuffs

Matboards and Subway Sandwiches

Espionage and Iced Coffee

Popcorn and Podcasts

Extras:

Moving Day

Notes: Non-consensual drug use mentioned, morally grey Logan, cop Remus, being restrained, one theoretical mention of eye injuries, human trafficking mentioned

Look at the boys! They’re getting along! Well.... Remus and Logan are getting along.

One would think, that is, one would think if one had even a single iota of sense in one’s monkey brain, that it would be difficult for a new hire to so quickly gain access to the location that one’s underground drug dealing operation ran out of. Particularly, one would think one would be cautious after having recently refused to pay for services from a cybercriminal.

Luckily for Logan, it seemed Haynes had a few disconnected synapses in his brain, and all it had taken was a fake ID and some forged paperwork to get hired on as a handyman for the business he used for money laundering. In addition to his work dolling out controlled substances, Haynes also owned a local rip off of a Chuck E Cheese called Cheeezeee the Cheese Rat. It was a dirty establishment with questionable food offerings and even more questionable decor.

Many times this week, Logan had found himself distracted by the large mural of a rat made out of cheese who was holding a smaller hunk of cheese as though he planned to eat it. Logan couldn’t help but stare at the image in horror, his mind desperately searching for some meaning in the piece. Was it meant to be a visual representation of pantheism wherein all things no matter the way humanity views them are ultimately the same and are god? That god is the creator, consumer, and consumed and god is reality itself. Was is a commentary on thoughtless, damaging consumption whereupon in one’s hunger and lust one eventually consumes themselves thereby destroying the vessel which one seeks to feed? Was the commissioner just deranged?

“Dude, for the 50th time, it is just a mural of a dumb character for kids,” the woman standing at the counter in the middle of the kitchen said as she sprinkled what could maybe pass for cheese on slabs of glorified cardboard the establishment called pizza crust. “I don’t know what to tell you. Just stop thinking about it and fix the sink.”

Logan tore his eyes away from the monstrosity he’d been staring at through the kitchen food window for the past minute and turned his attention back to the tool kit he’d been provided. He selected the correct tool and climbed back under the sink. He listened to the sounds of the woman continuing to make the “pizza.” Honestly, even if Logan did not know they were selling drugs out of the back, he still may have reported them to the authorities based solely on their food handling practices. In fact, perhaps the food was a worse offence considering that those buying their drugs knew they were purchasing and consuming harmful substances.

The underside of the sink he was under was disgusting, but the work wasn’t difficult. He’d learned enough about being generally handy from his father when he was young, and he had brushed up on those skills in the first apartment he’d shared with Virgil as that landlord did not care enough to fix things in a timely manner.

He still had his head under the sink when he heard footsteps enter the kitchen. He recognized Haynes’ voice as soon as the man spoke. He was explaining a few things about how his operation ran to whoever else was there. He used vague terms, but it was still a rather risky move with Logan and the “chef” in the same room, though it was quite possible she was in on the drug selling as well.

Logan finished fixing the sink without paying the conversation much mind; he already knew why he was here, and it was not to glean information. Logan intended to swipe what the man owed him as well as a steep amount of interest for his trouble. Then, he planned to send all of the information he had acquired about the business to the local law enforcement and let them deal with the rest.

He slid out from under the sink and glanced up. Immediately, he met the eyes of one of the room’s occupants and froze. He and Officer Remus Royal stared at each other for a few long moments before Remus tore his gaze away and looked back at Haynes. Logan breathed a sigh of relief that he wasn’t stupid enough to attempt to confront Logan in front of the drug dealer. That would have very likely ended badly for them both.

No longer being directly watched, though he imagined Remus was still tracking his movement from the corner of his eyes, Logan cleaned up his tools slowly and stood. His next task was to change a few lightbulbs behind the stage of the animatronic show, and while things had inevitably just changed, he still planned to at least keep up appearances until he could come up with an escape plan. He left the kitchen and moved towards the supply closet. He stored the toolbox there and his hand hovered over one of the screwdrivers for a moment, but he ultimately decided to leave it be. Remus was an inconvenience, but he couldn’t see himself stabbing the man through the eye socket with a screwdriver. He turned to the box of lightbulbs, wondering if he should take them with him or just completely throw out any pretenses of still intending to complete his handyman duties. That decision was made for him when the closet door suddenly opened.

Logan tensed for a fight, mind analyzing the situation. He didn’t have the element of surprise and Remus was bigger, but it was a smaller space that was more familiar to Logan. For most opponents, he’d want to try to angle them away from anything that could prove a fatal or extremely harmful improvised weapon, but in all the times Remus and he had fought in the past, the man always gentled his touch before it could do any true harm and never applied excessive force. Logan had found himself extending the same courtesy. So, in this case, the strategy would be to try to push him towards more deadly weapons which he would be unwilling to utilize. Of course, Remus still had the advantage as he was nearer to the door and Logan was more pinned into the back of the closet, but there was also a light switch right next to Logan and if he could turn it off…

“What are you doing here?” Remus asked the second the door closed behind him.

Logan hesitated. “You seem surprised. Are you not tracking me?”

His body language seemed to communicate that he didn’t intend to jump at Logan in the immediate future, but Logan still eyed him suspiciously. “Believe it or not,” Remus said. “I do have other jobs to do besides chasing you. I honestly did not expect to find you fixing a sink in a crappy pizzeria.”

“You’re truly not here for me?”

“You sound hurt,” Remus teased. “Apologies, I thought you knew this was an open relationship. I see other criminals all the time. Don’t you see other cops?”

“You’re the only one who’s ever been able to even partially keep up with me.”

“Well, I’ve been told I have quite the stamina,” he said, eyes sparkling.

Logan shifted slightly to the side but stilled again when Remus’s eyes immediately tracked the movement. “Stamina doesn’t provide much advantage when stuck in a closet with your opponent,” Logan said idly.

“Oh, I’d beg to differ,” he said lowly.

“So why are you here?” he asked instead of engaging.

“I’m undercover to help bring down Haynes,” Remus said. “He’s into some even skeevier stuff than his rat-infested restaurant”

“I’m aware,” Logan said. “I was actually planning to send an anonymous tip to local law enforcement when I was finished here, though it seems that will be unnecessary now.”

“You were?” Remus asked. “Why?”

“He owes me money, and besides that, he’s an asshole.”

“Asshole might be an understatement for a human trafficker.”

“A what?” Logan asked.

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you know?” he asked, and suddenly the rat themed restaurant for kids took on an even more dark nauseating tone.

“I wouldn’t have done any work for him at all if I’d had even an inkling that he partook in that business as well,” Logan spat. “I’m taking him down even harder now.”

There was a moment of silence where Remus considered him, eyes unreadable and head slightly tilted. “So, we’re both here for the same reason,” he said.

“I guess we are.”

“Huh.”

“If you attempted to arrest me, it would blow your cover,” Logan pointed out and tilted his head, “and it would make my objective more difficult as well. Considering the severity of his crimes, would you be willing to make a temporary alliance just to make sure Haynes gets what he deserves?”

“Are you going to drug me at the end of it?” Remus asked.

“We’ll institute a 20-minute grace period after we’re finished. You don’t attempt to arrest me, and I don’t attempt to incapacitate you after we complete our objective.”

Remus took a moment to think through the offer, and then shoved his hands in his pocket. “Deal.”

“Very well,” Logan said. “So…”

The closet door was opened suddenly by a figure in one of the restaurant’s uniforms. “Wha-?” he started, but Remus reacted quickly, grabbing the person and slamming his hand over his mouth. Logan leaned forward and shut the door once Remus has wrestled him inside.

“Virgil?” Logan asked.

“Oh! Hey Virge,” Remus said in surprise. “You’re working at a pizzeria now?” Virgil tried to respond, but whatever he said was muffled by Remus’s hand. “Oh, right,” Remus said. “I’m going to uncover your mouth, but you have to promise not to scream.”

Virgil nodded vehemently.

“Wait,” Logan said, his eyes narrowed on Virgil. “He’s lying. He’s going to scream.”

Virgil shook his head in denial.

“I know you Virgil,” Logan said. “I can tell when you’re lying.” There was always a crinkle between his eyes because he overcorrected on trying to look earnest.

Virgil made a muffled whining sound in the back of his throat.

“Look,” Remus sighed. “I’ll take my hand off your mouth. Don’t scream, and we’ll talk it out, okay Virgil?”

Virgil nodded again, crinkle still prevalent between his eyes, and Logan pressed his lips together to watch.

Remus slowly removed his hand from Virgil’s mouth. There was a short moment of silence. Then… “AAAAmphpmphmpmphpm.” Logan slapped his own hand over the man’s mouth when he started to yell.

“I told you he was going to scream,” Logan commented idly.

“Mphfmkr,” was the angry reply as he tried to fight against Remus’s hold.

Remus sighed. “I was trying to be nice to you, Virge. Now we have to gag you.”

Virgil’s struggling increased, but Remus was easily able to hold him. Logan and Remus awkwardly managed to exchange their hands, so Logan was able to turn around and search the shelves for something to gag him with.

“Here,” Logan said. “This rope is still packaged so it should be clean.”

Virgil whined it protest.

“Well it’s that or duct tape, Virgil and I don’t relish in the pain that would doubtlessly result from the process of removing it.”

“Fmf. Ff.”

It was a struggle to get the rope between his teeth, but they managed it after a bit of wrestling. “Can I borrow your handcuffs?” Logan asked Remus.

“This time he asks,” Remus snarked, but handed them over.

Virgil made muffled irate noises behind the rope as he was cuffed to the metal shelving unit; Logan imagined whatever the man was trying to say was quite inspired.

“Sorry Virge,” Remus said, patting him on the head. “See you later.”

They shut the closet door behind them, and Logan locked the door with the keys he’d been provided. He handed the keys to Remus. “You’ll let him out after?” he asked.

“Of course,” Remus said. “I’ve got the emo.”

Logan nodded and turned from the closet. “Let’s go get a rat,” he said darkly.

Want to read more? The next installment is:

Kisses and Thai Noodle Leftovers

[artseanauti]

6 Amazing Restaurants to try in Bar Harbor

Mama Dimatteo’s (Italian)

This is one of my all-time favorite places to eat in Bar Harbor. It’s centrally located with only a minute walk from the Village Green and parking. They have indoor and outdoor seating with ambient lighting, plenty of social distance, and very attentive staff. My husband and I actually just ate at Mama’s on the 4th of July. Here’s what we ordered and enjoyed tf out of:

Caesar Salad with the best dressing, homemade croutons, and shaved parmesan. I actually remember telling my husband that it was the best salad I’d had in months.

Baked Cheese with mozzarella cheese wrapped in a light and flaky pastry puff and served with marinara. The marinara is to die for. My husband and I actually ate it with a spoon after we demolished the baked cheese puff.

Garlic Nuggets baked to perfection and slathered in garlic, butter, herbs, and parmesan cheese. The portion is small, but it makes you want to savor each bite because sometimes it’s about quality over quantity. We will definitely order them again.

Chicken Saltimbocca is prosciutto-wrapped chicken served with linguine and mushroom marsala. My husband killed his dinner, so I didn’t even need to ask him if he enjoyed it. This entrée was a generous portion and the marsala looked sinfully palatable.

Chicken Parmesan hardly needs an introduction. I tend to be a plain Jane sometimes when I’m not feeling adventurous with food. I was devastated that they were out of alfredo when we went, but considering they sat us less than hour from the time they were scheduled to close on a busy holiday, I’m absolutely not complaining. The early bird gets the alfredo. Duly noted.

Can’t forget the cocktails! My husband ordered a blueberry mojito and I ordered my signature drink, a Moscow mule. They were mixed perfectly!

2. Rosalie’s Pizza

Okay, I realize the out of control Italian in me is showing, but I’m taking you from the best Italian restaurant around to a NY style pizzeria right smack dab downtown on Cottage Street. Rosalie’s has been a Summer staple of mine since we moved to MDI in 2002, and all of these years later I still make it a point to go at least a few times per season. Something about family-owned pizzerias who’ve perfected their recipe over the span of decades just sells me. Any true pizza snob knows it’s all about the quality of the sauce and cheese and the appropriate ratio of sauce to cheese. The crust is thin and crispy, but not too thin or too crispy. Keep in mind that Rosalie’s is like Chick-fil-A level popular in Bar Harbor, so don’t wait until your stomach goes into survival mode and starts eating itself to get in line. We usually call ahead to order and either find a place to eat on one of the two floors of seating or we do take out. The upper level of seating has a great view of Cottage Street by the way, so I tend to always make my way upstairs to eat in non-pandemic world. If you choose to dine in, the staff will call your name and bring your food right to your table. Don’t forget to leave them a tip in their tip jar if you enjoy your food and experience as much as I always do.

3. Side Street Café

Side Street used to have the BEST build your own mac & cheese, and I was obsessed. I haven’t made it there in a couple of years now, but I was once a frequenter just for that dish. It was a-maz-ing! I actually just confirmed on their website and they still have it on the menu. Yay! Some other notable mentions about this restaurant is their covered high-top tables on their outdoor patio and they have a super convenient wait list right on their website that you can get on without having to call, and you can see the approximate wait time to decide if the timing fits into your plans. The patio is a great place to just relax, enjoy your beverage, and do a little people-watching. It’s centrally located and directly near public parking. If you’re like me, gravitate toward that outdoor patio, enjoy the infamously fresh Maine air, devour some mac & cheese, and pre-game or post-game a walk around downtown. Keep in mind that Side Street does high volume business, so it would behoove you to utilize their online wait list feature.

4. Jalapeno’s (Mexican)

I’m not going to lie, I go for the salsa and sangria. Their salsa is so good with its big chunks of tomatoes, fresh cilantro flavor, a hint of sweetness, and a fair amount of kick. When I say I go for the salsa and sangria, that’s because I never save enough room to make it through my meal. I don’t know about you, but I’m usually good for a couple rounds of salsa. Jalapeno’s checks all of my Mexican food boxes. Good chips and salsa, check. Good sangria, check. Good queso, check. The rest is just background noise.

As someone who spent 13 years of my childhood in the Heartland of Texas, I know good authentic Mexican cuisine. Admittedly, there are not many places in Maine to get authentic Mexican food or even Tex Mex. Jalapeno’s is my go-to when I have a hankering for all of my South of the Border fixes. The portions are super generous and I always get multiple meals out of it. They also have a nice patio that overlooks Main Street, the long drag through downtown Bar Harbor with tons of shops and restaurants. It’s a minute walk from the village green and a less than five minute walk from two public parking lots. There is also street parking closer-by.

5. Fish House Grill

I was actually good friends with the owner’s niece in grade school, just a random factoid. He sold the business to someone else who kept it pretty true to it’s original form, which I appreciate. Fish House Grill has an amazing view of the harbor, pier, and marina. This has always been one of my favorite places to go for lighter fare and drinks as I’m not a seafood-eater. I personally recommend the caprese sandwich.

Despite its seafood-sounding name, the Fish House Grill has something for everyone. It’s a laid back and relaxed atmosphere, and the service is efficient and attentive. It’s important to mention that the restaurant is located on the bottom level of a commercial building, so if you look for and follow the signage, it is easy to find. Once you make it down the little flight of stairs, the hostess station is immediately on your right. I have actually never experienced a wait time and they’ve always been super accommodating of my outdoor seating requests. If you’re planning on catching one of the whale watch or boat tours in Bar Harbor, the Fish House Grill is literally right next door to where you board and disembark, so it’s super convenient to grab some lunch or dinner before or after your tour.

6. Siam Orchid (Thai)

I’ve actually only been to Siam Orchid one time when my husband and I were dating, but I enjoyed our meal, our window seat, and the friendly service. They have both indoor and outdoor seating available. It feels super exclusive and it’s affordable ethnic cuisine. I remember the food being beautifully plated and well-cooked. It’s on our hit list for this summer to go back for more. Typically with Asian cuisines I’m a creature of habit and tend to order the same things everywhere and every time we go, but I remember their eloquently worded food descriptions enticed me to try something new. Highly recommend it! I can’t wait to go back soon. My mouth is watering just thinking about it…

[sky-girls]

Driving Me Wild

I think this one is shorter than usual but it’s done and that’s what matters after all this time right? XDD Its also a little more serious than usual but well i had a rough week some feelings sneaked into this. Anyway i very very hope you guys enjoy this!

The Bold Way

“So what comes next, prof?” She asks him between a mouthful of pizza. She is on his house, eating his food and her dad is supposed to come pick her up soon. He has  been kind of avoiding the topic of teaching her how to flirt all weekend and she is curious to know what comes next. If anything comes next, maybe he is done with this whole situation already.  

She wouldn’t blame him she just needs to know what comes now, even if it’s nothing.

“Well we need to keep studying for your math test.” He says after swallowing his pizza bite, like the rich snob he is.

“I don’t mean that, you dork.” She tells him rolling her eyes. “Though it is important, yes.”

“Ah, you mean the other thing.” He says and he seems a little hesitant.

“Yes, the flirting thing.” She says slowly. “We don’t have to keep going if you don’t want, you know?”

“No, no, no.” He says shaking his head. “It’s okay, I just got distracted with our tests and homework and all.”

She just nods and starts picking at the crust of the homemade pizza he made them. Luna sighs. Matteo is always helping her and taking care of her in some way or another and it’s not like she is a bad friend or something but sometimes she wishes she could do the same for him, she is kind of a mess, she is not good at taking care of people and there’s not much she can actually help him with when he has almost everything in life figured out already. But something good she must be doing, there must be a reason he keeps her around, she just hopes this reason is good enough that maybe he could see her as something more than just friends.

“I guess what comes next is the bold way.” Luna jumps a little, startled. She hadn’t realized matteo was still thinking of this.

“And what is that?” She asks.

“It’s exactly what it sounds like.” He tells her. “You just make it very very clear you like this person.”

“How do you do that?” She asks perking up, this one she wants to know.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Pick up lines I guess, telling them they look good or hot or complimenting them a lot.”

She nods, this she can do, she is very bad at pick up lines so she will probs go for some funny ones but she hopes that it works too and telling Matteo how well he looks or how good he is at something is always at the tip of her tongue but he is so egocentric she keeps it all inside she will just have to let it out. And hope his ego doesn’t get too big to fit into his house.

“I can do that.” She mumbles and he chuckles.

“Yes, you can, of course.” He says.

“I don’t know if you are saying this sarcastically or not.” She announces sitting more straight. “But I am gonna do this greatly, spectacularly even, you will be amazed at how good I will be at this.”

“I can’t wait.” He says laughing, but there’s something weird on that laugh.

Day 1

She wouldn’t say she has low self esteem or anything like this but she is definitely not the most confident person on earth either, so just boldly approaching someone and telling how good looking they are to her or how hot she thinks they are how much she likes them is never an actual option. Luna, as most people in this world, is quiet afraid of rejection in emotional matters.

Which is why she rather take this whole thing, at least on the beginning, as something humorous, it’s easier to go with something funny and light than say something honest and see how he reacts, see how weird he might find it or hoe uncomfortable he might be with it.

So by monday morning she has armed herself with a bunch of pick up lines she found on google and is ready to use them.

She is almost giddy about this whole thing, she wants to see how Matteo reacts, this is the closest she thinks she will get to seeing how Matteo feels about them maybe being something other than friends, maybe he will feel flattered, maybe this will help him think of her as something else, she honestly has no idea what could happen but there’s excitement buzzing on her skin as she walks through the hallways of the school looking for Matteo.

She sees him talking to Ramiro exactly where he had texted her he was and a she takes a deep breath to not give in to her giggles.

“Hi.” She says normally and Matteo turns to her slowly but before he can talk she continues. “Are you wearing space pants?”

“Luna no.” He says when he realizes what she is doing but the the way his eye slight up and the corners of his lips lift contradict his horrified expression

“Cause your ass is out of this world.” She says as seriously as it’s possible and Matteo dissolves into loud laughter in a matter of seconds, his laugh fills the hallways and people look a them. Luna can’t help it and starts laughing herself loud and free, and proud too, to be honest.

“You two are the fucking weirdest.” Ramiro says before leaving with a wave. Probably not willing to deal with this so early. She can’t blame him.

“I can’t believe you.” Matteo says wheezing and struggling to breath.

“You told me to use pick up lines.” She defends herself through laughs.

“Not this kind Valente, please.” He tells her and she pretends to pout.

“The rest of the day is going to be very bad then.” She says sadly and Matteo looks at her surprised.

“Please, no.” He starts and Luna sighs.

“But I already learned them I can not use them.” She tells him with puppy eyes and he actually facepalms.

“Luna, no, for real this is the worst.” He tells her still laughing.

“Are you saying you don’t like my pick up lines?” She asks. “I think they are great.”

“You are lying and we both know it.”

“No, i do think they are great.” She says seriously. “Here, listen to this one.”

“I am going to class.” He says and starts walking, so Luna starts walking behind him.

“Are you a parking ticket?” She asks laughing already.

“No!” He exclaims and puts his hand over his ears knowing well that she will keep talking.

“Cause you've got fine written all over you.” She exclaims happily and he she can hear a muffled sound coming from him.

“Go to class!” He exclaims. “Leave me alone!”

“You know, Matteo?” She asks. “if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged”

“This is harassment.” He says  seriously as she turns around. “I’m gonna complain with the principal.”

“I can not believe you don’t like this.” She tries to pout but her smile doesn’t really let her.

“You need better pick up lines, delivery girl.” He tells her. “This are not working at all.”

“But they are pick up line.” She says with a shrug.

“Yes, but the other person will think you are taking this as a joke.” He tells and she sighs. “You gotta be more sincere or at least more original and personal.”

“Okay what about this?” She asks before taking a deep breath, he says nothing so she just goes on, looking straight into his eyes as serious as she can. “You know how they say the eyes are the mirror to the soul?  I think you have the most beautiful soul I have ever seen.”

He stays quiet looking at her and she has no idea why or how, she knows she has been silly , she know she has been weird and maybe he is just thinking how bad she is at this, how dumb she is and how this is a lost cause maybe he is trying to find the words to break it to her and not be mean in the process.

“Yeah, that’s better” He says clearing his soul. “But pick up lines are seriously not your thing, Luna.”

She nods and says nothing as they keep walking to class. He doesn’t say anything either until he says goodbye when leaves her on her classroom.

⭐

The rest of the day passes normally but every day she is questioning more and more what this really is. The thing is that even after all of this, even after Matteo is supposed to be teaching her how to flirt and showing her sometimes their relationship hasn’t changed that much and she has no idea what this means.  A little hopeful part of her tells her that maybe it is because in some way their relationship has always been like this in some way, always playful, always considered, always supportive and that this means something, that maybe it feels something for him too. Other, much bigger much more realistic part tells her that it’s because this is normal for him, that this is how he treats people and most girls even, he is a flirt by nature she knows that and as much as she wants to believe that he treats her in a special way it’s not true, he treats many more people like this and no matter if she is special to him or one of his closest friends this is not reflected in this very particular way.

She sighs, she hates this, she hates wondering and being unsure, she hates not knowing what she really means for one of the most important people of her life, she hates feeling on the fence, so incredibly important sometimes, so incredibly normal  some others. She hates thinking that one day she will see him find someone truly important and special, someone who will get him, who will understand him and little by little she will see how this person becomes something bigger than she is in his life, something better. She believes on him enough to know that no matter what they will always be friends, he will always be there for her. But this idea hurts her in ways she never thought it was possible to hurt before. It makes a heavy feeling fall and settle on her stomach making her feel uncomfortable and uneasy.

She takes her phone and opens instagram needing a distraction but of course as always instagram knows how to attack her and the first thing it does is show her that matteo has posted an story, it’s first of every other, the pink and orange circle around it almost burning her eyes. She hesitates but ends up tapping on it. What else can she do?

She finds something she was very not ready for. Matteo, probably in one of the many boring dinners his parents make him go to, making a very serious face in front of a very expensive looking and big mirror, the camera moves up and down his body, showing his black suit and how well it fits him and then back to his face with those intense serious eyes, it happens, once twice, thrice and with every move she can see how well it fits him, how tight it is on his arms and shoulders and how well he looks in dark colors. Heat pools on her lower stomach and courage takes over her, she quickly types an answer to his story.

“You look really hot in a tux.”

She blocks her phone with hands almost shaking and decides she should go to bed early today, she doesn’t look at her phone again that night.

Day 2

When she wakes up the next day she has no instagram notifications, there’s no texts either and she feels something heavy on her chest, she refuses to open the app knowing full well she would end on her chat with Matteo staring at those little letters telling her the exact time the text was seen and he decided that it wasn't worth an answer.

But it doesn’t matter, she won’t take it personally, she will go about her day normally no matter if this stings a little, or maybe a lot. She will do her best today to act normal and nice and do this flitting thing right.

She goes to school as always and the fact that Matteo texted her to ask if she was awake already eases her a little but not completely, him not answering to her comment and the many thoughts that refused to leave her mind last night have make her unsure and kind of anxious.

Which is probably why she jumps so high when someone sneaks behinds her and pokes her on the ribs. It’s probably why she lets out a little scream too.

“Sorry, sorry, I am so sorry.” She hears Matteo say and she can’t even turn around before he is throwing his arm around her shoulders and looking down at her with sparkling eyes. “You were just so distracted, I had to do it.”

“That was very mean, Matteo.” She tells him, her heart is still beating a little faster than usual and he squeezes her shoulders softly.

“I am sorry, really.” He says still smiling, he has an easy smile today, like he can’t keep it away no matter how much he tries so he has given up and lets it light up his whole face.

She likes seeing him like this, so light , so relaxed.

“You look happy today.” She comments.

“I had a good night yesterday.” He says simply and many ideas that make her stomach turn and twist pass through her mind, she ignores them.

“Well you look great like this.” She says simply and he pulls her closer as they start to walk.

“I do?” He asks and Luna nods.

“Yeah, you look cute.” She tells him and he nods after they meet their friends he lets go but soon enough he is holding her hands.

She doesn’t hear a thing anyone says, she is too busy focusing on the way he is playing with her fingers.

⭐

After the last class of her day is done Matteo is waiting for her, it’s not weird but it’s still strange enough that she is surprised to see him and runs to him, she had good news for him anyway so this just means she doesn’t have to save them until she meets in in the roller.

“Hiii.” She exclaims happy and he grins back at her, the easy and almost smug smile hasn’t left his face all day and she can admit that every time she sees him like this butterflies come alive inside of her fluttering pleasantly on her stomach.

“Well, hello, Cucciola.” He says and she rolls her eyes at the foreign nickname he uses sometimes for her. “You seem very excited.”

“I am very excited indeed, chico fresa. “She says. “And not just because you are here.”

His grin grows even bigger at this, his eyes turning soft, and kind, and happy in ways she doesn’t really know enough words to explain, she wishes he was always like this, she wishes she could always make him smile like this.

She wishes she could tell him how utterly beautiful he is right now, how happy his smile makes her and how it makes her skin buzz and his heart come alive in many different ways.

“Ta da.” She says instead putting a paper sheet in front of his eyes and his happy grin turns into a proud smile the moment that he sees what it is. “Perfect mark, in chem even. “

“I told you you could do it.” He tells her happily hugging her tight. She hugs him back taking this moment to relish on the smell of his perfume and how good it feels to be between his arms.

“I couldn’t have done it without the smartest, bestest personal tutor of all times.” She says when she pulls away, she always pull away first, afraid that he will feel something else on her hugs, find weird that she is holding on for too long.

“Don’t take credit off yourself.” He says his hand resting on her cheek softly. She freezes completely, she doesn’t move, she doesn’t want to do anything that might make him take it away, much less now that he is caressing her skin softly with his thumb. “You are super smart, Luna, don’t forget that.”

She can feel herself blushing as her mouth dries and her tongue fails to work so she can say something, anything. Matteo doesn’t seem to mind though and his eyes stay on hers, his hand stays on her cheek for what feels like eons.

Some other students passing by are noisy enough to distract them and as Matteo smiles at her and moves his hand slowly down her arm and into the small of her back to make then start walking, she needs to remind herself how to breath again.

Day 3

She doesn’t actually notice Daniel at first, she really doesn’t.

How could she when out of the sudden Matteo is sitting even closer to her than usual, his thigh pressed against hers, his breathing brushing her neck whenever he talks and tries to explain something to her. He is so so close and she need to put all her energy into being normal, into ignoring the heat that pools on her stomach and the images that flash behind her eyes whenever she blinks. She puts all her focus on fighting the impulse to kiss him.

He gets closer, so so close and she feels like she is a tiny little mouse, trapped by the hypnotic snake, being eaten doesn’t sound so awful now. Nothing does if he gets just tiny closer.

But of course none of this will happen he will just keep explaining boring math exercise in this low, low voice and she will keep trying to breath normally as she keep crossing her legs tighter.

And then he rests his hand on her knee, is such a casual touch, and he doesn’t seem any phased by it, like he had done it thousands of time before and like his touch is not sending electric signs through all skin, like the way he is moving his thumb right now is not awakening every nerve on her body, like this soft soft touch doesn’t her make her heart skip a beat, and her lower stomach pool with a heat so intense she is surprised, his hand goes higher, just tiniest and the brush of his palm, his course fingers against her bare smooth skin is enough to make her all dizzy, she has pictured this so many times in so many ways. But it won’t end up as her dreams always do, she knows this, because Matteo is completely normal.

She sneaks a look at him and he is still talking something about limits and numbers and he doesn’t seem affected at all while she feels like her whole world has been turned around in just a few seconds. He is just being normal, he has been more touchy since yesterday, he has been happier this is probably just a side effect of that.

Or she thinks so until she realizes that he is sending looks to something, to someone, it’s subtle but his eyes keep being pulled into that direction, she doesn’t notice at first that it is a particular place and not just movement calling his attention.

She looks to the table to where he is looking. Daniel is there. She frowns but Daniel catches her eyes, he seems annoyed about something but he still smiles when their eyes meet. She smiles back, of course.  And suddenly Matteo’s arm is around her shoulders pulling her almost into his lap with how close they end up, she looks at him confused but he keeps acting like nothing is happening. She sends another look at Daniel who rolls his eyes before looking down at his notebook. She pouts and looks back at Matteo.

“Are you okay?” She asks and he just hums. He looks towards Daniel and he smiles, looking somehow smug but why would he?

“I am perfect, Cucciola.” He says casually, his hand now goes from her thigh to her hands playing softly with her fingers as he keeps writing with his free hand and making sure she got her exercises right.

“You are acting weird.” She says softly and he looks at her raising an eyebrow.

“Am I?” He asks and he is daring her to explain more, he is daring her to say what he is doing that is weird,he is daring her to say how this makes her feel, how this affects her, why this doesn’t feel normal to her. His eyes are firm, steady, but still she feels this small hint of mischief and challenge, she looks away, she can’t win this, she wishes she could, she wishes she had the courage to just say it but she doesn’t. So she looks away.

“You are a weirdo.” She says shaking her head, her eyes sneak to Daniel again he seems very unhappy about something. Matteo tickles her softly and she squeals.

“I am not a weirdo.” He says firmly with a small grin growing on his lips.

“Yes, you are.” She says and then softly pokes his nose. “But you are my weirdo.”

The grin takes over his face completely and the way his eyes are sparkling makes her heart beat just a little faster, just a little happier.

He keeps her close through all the studying session and she doesn’t pull away either.

Day 4  

She hadn’t planned on having a nap, not that she usually does it, naps just tend to take her away from the world by surprise and quickly, one moment she is on her phone and the other she is deep in dreamland. But today she was definitely not planning to nap. She was supposed to get home and change clothes and tidy her room and maybe help her mom in the kitchen and she waited for Matteo to come and help her study.

What ends up happening though, is that she falls asleep and when she wakes up her mom is softly shaking her and telling her that Matteo is here already.

She sits up so fast she almost hits her head with her mom’s and her heart is beating fast in that uncomfortable way that it does when you are woken up from a too deep nap. Sleep is lingering on her, on her eyes, on her brain and as her mother laughs hse struggles to put on some shoes and and gather her chemistry books and and somehow finds herself going to Matteo, even if she almost falls down the stairs at least once as she goes.

She rushes and finds him sitting on her kitchen table nibbling on her mom’s brownies, he is still blurry to her. So she blinks once, twice and it’s probably weird because Matteo is staring back at her almost confused.

“Good afternoon, delivery girl.” He says when she doesn’t talk after a while  and she shakes her head trying to get the fog out of her brain.

Her mom seems very amused as she is is putting away the clean plates and glasses and Luna sighs as she sits next to him.

“You seem refreshed.” He says sarcastic and she hears her mom snort as she leaves the room.

“I am sorry.” She mumbles and rubs her eyes. “I just kinda fell asleep so I am just waking up from a nap so I am lostest.”

“I can see that.” He says softly with a chuckle.

“I’m sorry.” She says with a sigh before laughing softly. “I probably look like such a mess.”

“Yes you do.” He says laughing and she pouts. “But messy suits you.”

She doesn’t know what to answer to this, she just blushes softly and looks down with a small smile opening her chem book. He does the same.

“Messy looks hot you.”He adds after a few short seconds and Luna knows that there’s nothing that hits her chest and takes out all the air of her lungs. But it feels like this.

She freezes, she hopes it’s not obvious but she freezes, her sleepy brain can’t really process what just happened, she is too slow, too groggy and to add to the fog of sleep the  the heat that raises to her face and chest fills her mind with what feels like steam.

She can’t think, she can’t do anything. She is rendered a complete and utter mess with just four words of him and she has no idea if he knows, if he knows the full effect he has on her.

If he knows how the smallest, tiniest gesture from him can take her mind and body into overdrive, if he knows how easy is for him to leave her speechless and lost, if he knows that with one look he makes her feel in ways she had never felt before, if he knows that she has felt so much more than she has ever thought possible because of him.

“So have you done any of the exercises yet?” He asks casually and Luna sighs.

He has no idea at all.

Day 5

“I’m almost sad it’s friday.” Matteo comments as they leave the Blake and Luna sends him a look. How can he be sad it’s friday? What normal human being is sad that it’s friday? Especially him, who goes out with Ramiro and has plans and does stuff besides sleeping, not that there is anything wrong with sleeping mind you, sleeping in friday is great. Fridays are fantastic no matter what.

“Why?” She demands, just completely confused. “Do you want to go to school seven days a week now, Matteo? Is this waking up early torture not enough for you?”

“I don’t wake up that late on weekends either, you little lazy lady.” He says bumping her shoulder with his and making her stumble. She sends him a dirty look and he smiles and moves his eyelashes innocently, his stupid very long eyelashes. He is so pretty, she hates it sometimes.

“You are not a human being, Matteo Balsano.” She says shaking her head dramatically, trying to seem disgusted.

“No, I know.” He says with a heavy sigh. “I’m a god.”

The laugh is not intentional and not exaggerated at all, it's just pure sincere laugh and she needs to stop walking to laugh properly. Matteo stops with her of course a pout on his lips and Luna quickly shakes away the urge to bite that lower lip. The way he has been this week is giving her issues.

“You do kinda look like one.” She says through laugh, it comes out almost sarcastic but now quite and he is obviously very confused over the fact if she means it or not. Exactly as she intended to.

“Okay but for real this is what I’ll miss.” He says rolling his eyes and pulling one of her curls softly to annoy her.

“What?” She says battling his hands away from her hair, once he starts no one can’t stop him and he ends up playing with her hair for hours and making it a mess, or even more of one than usual.

“You saying so many nice things about me.” He shrugs. “Giving me so many compliments.”

She stays quiet looking at him confused.

“I didn’t even know you thought so many good things about me.” He says casually.

She looks at him shocked, she didn’t expect this from him and he is kinda joking but also not really and she doesn’t like it. She thinks for a second that it’s an ego thing but no matter how much he tries to hide it Matteo is insecure or he can be, very, very insecure, sometimes he is so unsure of himself, one would never guess it, seeing how he carries himself around, how he talks, how he moves, and a lot of times that bravado that confidence is true but so many others is just a facade, a mask he puts on to make sure people stay at a certain distance. Luna has learned how to look through, she has learned to, not break down his walls exactly, he doesn’t always have them high and indestructible, he lets people in, but she has managed to slip through that door unnoticed by him. And yes maybe this is just an ego thing, maybe he just really loves hearing how amazing and great and talented he is. That would be very Matteo too, there’s no doubt but she is not sure right now and she doesn’t want him thinking for a moment that she doesn’t think the world and more of him.

“You know that I think you are amazing, right?” She asks and he is obviously startled by the shift of the conversation from playful to serious.

“Yes, yes.” He hurries to say, a little uncomfortable. “I was just joking.”

“But still.” She says firmly. “You gotta know that I think you are one of the greatest persons I have ever met, that I am so grateful that you are in my life, that I think you are so talented and smart and amazing and you are just such a beautiful person and sometimes I don’t know how I would manage things without you here in Argentina, you have been one of my main supports and you are always helping me so much, you are always saving me, you do so much for me,I wished I could do just a small amount of that for you and I must be such a sucky friend here if you don’t even realize any of this.”

“Luna.” He calls to make her stop and she does, slightly surprised by the words that rushed out of her mouth. She didn’t expect this level of intensity from herself. “You do so much for me.”

“What?” She asks with a frown. “No, I don-”

“Yes, you do.” He says firmly, resting his hands on her shoulders. “You might not help me with my homework or make sure I don’t get injured daily but it’s obvious for everyone how much I have changed since you came here, you have made me lighter, you have taken a weight of my shoulders, you brighten each one of my days, you have helped me grow into myself more than anyone else, you have taught me how to laugh and be carefree in many ways I didn’t know before, you just make everything better and so much easier and I just know that whenever I need it you will be there for me, that you will always be there by my side cheering on me and supporting me. You help me so, so much just by being you.”

He stops talking and she nods, she has no idea what else is she supposed to do, she feels like she is overcomed with every emotion possible in this very moment, she doesn’t think human beings are allowed to feel as much as she does when Matteo looks at her with those deep, serious, intense brown eyes. She is overwhelmed. She is so overwhelmed.

“So no more saying you are a bad friend.” He says firmly. “You are one of the best friends possible for me and for everyone and I can not let you think otherwise, okay?”

“Okay.” She manages to mumble and Matteo hugs her tightly. She hugs him back on autopilot. Her brain still hasn’t caught up to what he said and her heart is divided.

He said so many great things about her, but the word friend echoes in her chest. It should sting. But it does so much.

She decides to focus on the positive side and tightens her arms around him.

If he loves her like this, does it really matter in what way it is?

[thisislizheather]

April Activities 2021

The major news of the month? I can’t believe I get to be fully vaccinated. It’s hard to describe how incredible it feels but I’m so ready to really start this next phase and I can’t wait for everyone I love to feel this feeling soon. Here’s what went down last month.

Here are my favourite tweets from last month. Also, I’ve decided to compile the best tweets list every two weeks rather than only once a month mostly because I love re-reading them and want that sort of joy in my life twice a month, not just once.

I did Nathan’s podcast and we talked about Rogers, sex robots & god only knows what else.

Two new nail polishes that I bought and love: English Lavender by butter and Cold Brew Crew by essie. Beautiful colours.

I’ve made this lamb ragu from Alison Roman twice so far, it’s so luxurious but somehow easy to make. I’ve put it on tagliatelle as well as zucchini noodles and both have been wonderful. Small tip: it does get better after it sits in the fridge for a bit, for some reason. (Also, the recipe doesn’t call for it, but I added basil at the end. I tend to add basil anytime something calls for parsley because it’s just so much more flavourful and fun.)

Above Photo: Alison Roman’s lamb ragu

I want to buy new underwear and I’m looking for any suggestions that aren’t Victoria’s Secret, Aerie or The Gap. I might just bite the bullet and try the ones from Blush (love love love the models they use).

I tried the strawberry short cake soft serve from Milk Bar and it was heavenly. The soft serve is even better than the strawberry cake (although the cookie crumbles within the cake always make my knees weak). In fact, I’ve yet to try a Milk Bar soft serve that I didn’t love (their vegan apple pie soft serve was out of this world), should I have been buying their pints this whole time? Yes.

I gave a chance to Ouai’s Air Dry Foam and it didn’t impress me or anyone else for that matter, so I guess I’ll just stick with the Wave Spray instead.

The rain boots that I bought a few years ago from Winners have disintegrated and I’m in search of new ones, but please don’t recommend Hunter ones. I hate Hunter. Open to any other suggestions!

Influenced by a TikTok video, I bought Falscara and holy shit. I know I promise this a lot, but I’m going to do a video on it so you can see how good a product it is. So many videos are coming, I vow.

There milk chocolate coconut almonds from CVS are UNHOLY.

I tried a sample of Glamglow’s Glowstarter moisturizer and was pleasantly surprised at how it really does give you a pleasant glow. What’s that about.

It’s uncivil how expensive body suit/swimwear hangers are. Who is this benefiting? I just want to hang my delicate bodysuits and carry on with my day.

Trader Joe’s has started selling their own vodka and I’m hoping they’ll start to sell it in New York soon. Seems weird that they don’t already.

I tried a small sample of Charlotte Tilbury’s Magic Elixir and discovered that the true magic behind the elixir is how she got anyone to believe that it does anything at all. Makeup products truly enrage me at times.

Nathan and I went to a movie theatre and it was everything I wanted it to be and more. We saw Godzilla vs. Kong and I found myself beaming through every inane scene. Perfect movie to see after a year of no theatres. Would I ever watch it again? Good lord no.

I bought a lotion bar from Gift Box on Broadway in Astoria and I love it. I think I’d use it more if it were slightly smaller and more manageable, but I love it nonetheless.

I tried Rao’s spaghetti and it was incredible, so now I’m forced to seek out their other types of pasta. Such a quality pasta.

I ate at The Pineapple Club and the basil fried rice and frozen pina coladas were both outrageously good.

I bought this bag from Zara and I’m honestly nervous to even wear it out for some weird reason. Like, am I the person who would have a bag like this? Do I want to be that person? Am I feeling this way because of having nowhere to go for so long? Have I always been this fearful? Some of these questions I shouldn’t answer, I realize.

Just bought these shoes in tan and I think I have my life all figured out now. Now if I can just leave the house wearing said shoes and holding said bag.

Speaking of shoes, I truly can’t decide if I love or loathe these slippers.

Last shoe thing: head over HEELS (not sorry) in love with these feet hugging sandals. Should’ve bought four more pairs.

I made these chocolate banana muffins and they were great but the real standout is the recipe at the bottom for the salted honey butter. Christ, you should make that butter.

I perused Molly Baz’s new cookbook and it’s a big one. Some standout recipes: The Big Italian salad, a dilly horseradish cream sauce for shrimp, and of course her caesar salad recipe.

I never thought I’d be the type of person to buy fake plants, but this one is so lifelike and pretty that I had to get it. Plus it’s perfect for the top of a bookshelf.

Above Photo: Fake plant from Target

It’s ramp season and I couldn’t be happier about it, you’ll hear more about my ramp creations next month.

I watched This is a Robbery on Netflix and don’t waste your time. Yes, it’s an interesting story, but save yourself a few hours and go read this instead.

I’m watching The Nanny and loving it. I’ve only ever watched a few episodes growing up, and I thought I would hate it because of how much everyone makes fun of Fran’s voice but her voice is fine! It’s wild that anyone ever said it was annoying. Also, the theme song is catchy as hell.

I rewatched Speed and it’s, of course, still great. What can’t Keanu do.

I watched the 90s movie The Crush and it’s really weird that movies like that would never have a chance being made today.

I’m all caught up on Riverdale now and… it’s hard to remember when it was really good. Maybe it was all Skeet Ulrich? Was that the main draw in my mind? I can see that making sense. In any case, it’s taken a turn.

There’s something so inviting about having good washroom rugs, I just got these soft-as-hell Threshold ones and I’ll never buy another brand again.

I visited the midtown Ideal Cheese Shop (been meaning to forever) and it’s such a great spot for NYC delicacies as well as, obviously, cheese. They had pre-packed bacon from Peter Luger and salmon from Daniel Boulud.

Things are already changing fast with new restrictions loosing in NYC, but did you know you can rent out a bar for an hour?

I tried the breakfast Beyond Meat sausage patties and surprise, surprise, they’re great. There’s nothing this company can do wrong. I’m becoming suspicious.

I got drinks and some small bites at Bar Dalia in Astoria and what a sweet little place! Would go again.

I finally got my hands on the kitchen-scented mini candles from Trader Joe’s (the scents are lemongrass, tomato leaf, fresh mint). They fill me with joy, unfortunately. I also got their grapefruit scented body butter, which goes on very smoothly but I’ve noticed it has a scent that’s slightly off-putting over time. I will not dwell on that fact further.

Had no idea that Banza made a pizza crust but I tried it and it’s wonderful.

I love seeing what promotional giveaways are planned for the upcoming baseball season but since we’re technically still in a pandemic, the Mets are only releasing what the promotions are each month (makes sense). So I’ve bookmarked the page to go look at on the first of each month.

I don’t eat a ton of fast food, but I’m sorry, some of these are genius ideas.

I’ll regret it if I don’t buy a box of these, right?

I know that it’s common to read an article about something and feel “that’s me!” but this one really resonates with me: “There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing.”

The best brand at Target: A New Day.

Love and fully agree with all of this woman’s questions about things that don’t make sense.

I was walking past a Home Depot in Queens and the smell of the sandwiches at Rocco’s was heavenly. I had just eaten, otherwise I would have leaped into line. Must remember to get a Philly cheese steak here next time. The Yelp reviews are calling me.

I bought this earring organizer from The Container Store and it’s perfect. Fully recommend. I also finally got a purse organizer and some shoe boxes that make me feel like I might be a successful woman in her prime.

Above Photo: Earring Stand from The Container Store

Above Photo: Left: purse storage holder, Right: shoe storage boxes, Not Shown: me, opening & closing my closet door ten times to bask in my new found organizational skills

I had no idea Zara had a home section. I wish I didn’t have this knowledge, but now that I do, you must too. Literally ALL of these glasses are gorgeous. Tempted to go smash each glass in my kitchen cupboard right this instant.

This Artist Faked Being a Billionaire to Photograph New York City's Best Views - such a great idea, such great photos. How was it not me who came up with this?

Some more spring recipes I’m dying to make:

Ramp & Ricotta Tart

Grilled Asparagus Caesar Salad

Lemon Poppy Seed Cake

Scallop Risotto with Lemon & Sweet Peas

Grilled Caprese Skewers with Halloumi and Sourdough

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: the new/final season of Shrill comes out this week (!), I might be going to a Mets game (!!), dying to eat at Under The Volcano, really want to visit the new Dippin' Dots store, I’ve been craving a good club sandwich for months so I might try to get brunch at Mark’s Off Madison, I know it might be early but I can’t wait to go tan on Governors Island soon, and at some point I’d really love to take one of these pasta cooking classes.

Above Photo: The club sandwich at Mark’s Off Madison, photo courtesy of Front of House

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in March over here.

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People Are Sharing Small Changes They Made That Helped Them Lose Weight (47 Tips)

New Post has been published on https://weightlosshtiw.com/people-are-sharing-small-changes-they-made-that-helped-them-lose-weight-47-tips/

People Are Sharing Small Changes They Made That Helped Them Lose Weight (47 Tips)

45 million Americans go on a diet every year. Moreover, Americans spend $33 billion each year on weight-loss products. The numbers are staggering, having in mind that two thirds of society are now classified as overweight and obese. So where did it go wrong?

Well, humans tend to overthink and end up trying too much. From counting calories to judging ourselves for a piece of cheesecake, some lose the simple joys of life, while others get fed up with their diet just not working.

But what if weight loss, like any other journey in the world, starts from some simple little steps? What if one or two basic changes in our lifestyle are all it takes to find the balance we crave? To find out, we looked at the little weight loss tips shared by people who genuinely claim they really worked. And no, you don’t need to give up on pizza any time soon.

#1

Make your couch a no-eating zone. I found that when I sat in my overused, sunken-in spot in the couch with food, it turned into a mindless binge-fest. Sitting at a table or kitchen bar with a plate and silverware made me more mindful and present when I ate, which in turn helped me to listen to my satiety cues and stop eating when I was full. Lost over 100 pounds in a little over a year.

#2

Just doing something in the gym everyday is better than nothing.

This advice helped me so much. It really reinforces that this is a lifestyle change by forcing you to just go be active everyday. It also helps just in the sense its objectively true doing 10-15 minutes on the treadmill is better than nothing if you really arent motivated at all. The biggest way it helps though is on the days you are unmotivated, once you start you will often just do your full workout.

Image credits: totalloserx

#3

Don’t try to ignore your cravings — just find healthier ways to satisfy them. I will never be the girl who says no to pizza or bread. Embracing it and not hating myself for it was the first step. Then I was able to find ways to satisfy those needs in a better way. For example, Cauliflower pizza crust pretty much satisfies my need for pizza. (I know, it doesn’t sound believable but it’s true!)

Image credits: Deb Nystrom

In the past few years, there has been a surge in what’s called the mindful eating trend, which is all about staying present in the moment and enjoying it. This approach gained popularity because it doesn’t focus on restriction, but instead aims at changing our relationship with food.

Mindful eating is opposed to mindless eating, which is all too common these days. The latter refers to eating past fullness, eating out of boredom, emotional eating, eating and multitasking, and eating to gain comfort and soothe yourself. Conversely, mindful eating refers to eating when your body tells you to, enjoying eating, thinking about where food comes from, listening to your body, and stopping when you feel like it.

#4

Give up delivery and start preparing your own meals instead.

#5

Stop weighing yourself as a means of measuring your progress. For a while I was focused on making my weight number constantly decrease. When I stopped looking at that and just focused on being healthy — eating right, fruits and veggies for snacks, exercising — that was when I started losing weight and feeling better!

#6

Swap “boredom eating” with other mindless (or productive) tasks. [I stopped] snacking when I was bored, became more aware of what I was doing, and I soon realized I wasn’t actually hungry. I was just restless and wanted something to do while I relaxed. So I replaced snacking with painting my nails. It’s also become kind of a fun thing I do for myself. When I’m at the store and trying to make healthy decisions, I will reward myself with a new color. Essie has become my preferred reward, as opposed to a ‘cheat meal’!

You can practice being more mindful in the way you eat simply by slowing down and concentrating on your plate. Let yourself be immersed in flavors, textures, tastes, and smells. Think of how the bite melts into your mouth and what kind of nutritional value you get from it.

Also, you need to learn to trust your body. Our bodies are smart mechanisms that can signal both hunger and fullness, except we sometimes prefer not to listen to them. In reality, when the mind tells you to grab another piece of cake, you may ask your body if it really wants one. You may be surprised by the answer.

#7

Skip escalators and elevators. I took the stairs EVERYWHERE! I worked on the sixth floor when I started this endeavor. I had to start getting to work earlier than normal just to make sure I’d make it up in time without being disgustingly sweaty. I lost 40 pounds in the first eight months and now I’m running half marathons multiple times per year!

#8

Water is your friend

Image credits: stop_being_ugly

#9

Cut down on sugar. “Trying to eat healthier foods” is good to do, but it’s also vague. For example, I’ve seen people go on strict low-carb diets and drink insane amounts of Gatorade. There are tons of things you wouldn’t expect to have a lot of sugar in them, too- it’s not always the obvious stuff like cookies.

Image credits: foreverfremdshamen

#10

Ditch the soda, seriously. I decided to give up soda for Lent since I had one almost every day at lunch. After the first two weeks I lost 10 pounds! When it was over I honestly didn’t even crave it all at anymore. That was years ago and now the taste of soda is always too much sweetness in a drink for me.

#11

There are no bad vs good foods.

Try to eat a balanced diet of fruits and vegetables, but if you want a donut and it fits into your daily caloric intake, eat the fucking donut. Don’t demonize food. Learn about nutrition, drink plenty of water, and exercise.

Image credits: trolldoll26

#12

Ditch friends who sabotage you or try to keep you from progressing on your goal. If you’re 180 pounds of fat and they say you’re getting too skinny they’re not trying to help you.

Image credits: _ImperialScout_

#13

Buy smaller plates.

I don’t hear this one too often, but it’s basically an aide to the common “Eat smaller portions” advice. Willing yourself to eat smaller portions can be difficult, but a smaller plate can look full with less food on it, and that can have a very real psychological effect. You still get that “I cleaned my whole plate” satisfaction, but you’ve eaten less to get it.

Image credits: Gluttony4

#14

Patience. Losing weight (especially a significant amount of weight) takes a considerable amount of time.

I lost 60 pounds, but it took upwards of 16 months of constant work. It was a shade under a pound a week.

Image credits: Neb810

#15

Stop forcing yourself to go to the gym if you hate it, and find an exercise you actually enjoy. I gave up trying to enjoy the gym and found things I actually like doing! What a difference! I’ve lost 30 pounds simply by finding exercise I enjoy, such as hiking, biking, yoga, swimming, snowshoeing, and kayaking, among other things. Now I crave exercise and can’t wait for my next workout session, because nothing feels like a workout anymore!

#16

Start taking your coffee black. Started drinking black coffee instead of having it with cream and sugar or the flavored creamers.

#17

Full disclosure, am still fat (currently 301 pounds), but I have lost 50 pounds since my highest weight and am working on the remainder. Here is what is working for me: 1.) Track everything. Get an app, or a journal. Write down everything that goes in your mouth. You don’t need to track calories at first if you’re not used to it. Just write down what you eat. Be honest, don’t cheat. 2.) Learn your triggers. What makes you eat? Is it normal hunger? Did you have a bad day at work? Did you fight with your SO? Are you “treating” yourself because you accomplished something? 3.) Redirect yourself. Don’t be idle. If you sit in front of the TV and snack, start cross-stitching, knitting, paint-by-number, F**KING SOMETHING that gets you occupied while sitting and watching the latest mind-numbing crime drama. 4.) Make a plan. Meal plan for a week, or be ambitious and do a whole month. Plan what you’re going to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Make a grocery list. ALWAYS GO GROCERY SHOPPING WITH A LIST. Never have to ask yourself “oh what’s for dinner? what do we have anyway? am i going to have to buy x ingredient? f**k it, I’ll just order a pizza”. Include eating out in your meal plan. 5.) Move a little. You don’t have to run a marathon. Just move more. Walk further. Do yoga in the morning. Just something to remind your body that it has a purpose. All I do is yoga in the morning and walk to and from the bus stop. 6.) Start small. Don’t make a goal to lose 100 pounds. Make a goal to lose 5 pounds. That’s a bag of potatoes. Those are huge and heavy! 5 pounds is a huge accomplishment. I never set a goal for myself except to lose 5 pounds at a time. Lose 5 pounds, drop one pants size, walk around the block without stopping, jog for 90 seconds. These are tiny goals that when added to incrementally make a HUGE DIFFERENCE. 7.) Ignore everyone else. Don’t buy some junk your Aunt Marcy promises will cleanse your colon. Don’t let your coworkers tell you “oh you look so good you don’t need to lose weight”. Don’t let your family say “but grandma made this chocolate cake just for you”. THIS STEP DOES NOT APPLY TO MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS SUCH AS A DOCTOR OR CERTIFIED NUTRITIONIST. The world wants to sabotage you. Listen to people that you pay money to to take care of you. 8.) Forgive yourself. This is the most important step. Love yourself as you are now. You are beautiful. You are loved. You are important. You are a human being. You will move forward but you will have bad days. You will struggle and you will hate yourself for making a bad choice. You will fall down sometimes. But life is a series of failures and lessons. Life is a long journey and weight loss is a lifestyle change, a transformation, and those don’t happen quickly. It will take longer than you think it will. And that’s OKAY. You are doing your best and you will reap the rewards SOMEDAY. Don’t be in a hurry. Enjoy the journey.

Image credits: bigdamncat

#18

unless you’re Chris Traeger you’re gonna f**k up. it took me two years of trying to get the momentum I needed to lose 110 pounds. I’ve got 50 to go and I’ve lost that momentum and it’s taken me a few months to get back in the swing of it. [Messing] up is a part of progress and progress isn’t linear.

Image credits: MichyMc

#19

The 70% rule

Eat 70% of the meal. Take a break and talk for a while drink some water and enjoy the moment for a bit. You’ll find that the majority of the time the food will settle in your stomach and you won’t be hungry anymore.

Edit: many are saying it’s a waste of food but I never said that. Get a to-go box and take it home.

Image credits: Pizanch

#20

Remove the sugar. Once you do that, it’s stupid easy. It’s not a secret, but it’s rare for people to really do it. We all scramble around trying to find a trick to avoid doing just that. Lost 60lb and kept them off. For the past year and a half I’ve been eating less than 10 grams of added sugar per day, no exceptions. After the first 2 weeks, it gets pretty easy. After about 2 months, the idea of eating sugary [crap] feels pretty repulsive. After a year, it’s a no-brainer.

Image credits: fixittillitbreaks

#21

It’s a lifestyle change. It’s not something you can do for a while and then be done with it. You need to continue to eat mindfully and exercise in order to maintain your weight once you’ve lost the excess.

Image credits: LeftWren

#22

Don’t drink calories

Image credits: LordTachanka_LmgMaL

#23

My mum says “Motivation helps to lose the weight but discipline is what keeps it off.”

Image credits: Rithims

#24

Walking. It’s so underrated. Anyone can do it, can be done anywhere and it’s free.

What I’ve been doing is leaving early for my bus to work and walking 30 mins along the route before catching my bus. On the way home I’ll get off early and walk 30 mins home again. Adds an hour of walking a day with very little disruption to my daily routine. That plus eating better and I’ve lost a stone in about 5/6 weeks

Image credits: JiMMyCCuDDa

#25

Meal Prepping. You would be surprised how much control you give yourself over your calories when you plan ahead. It also saves a lot of time and money.

Image credits: totspur1982

#26

Don’t look in the mirror. This was sophomore year of college and my roommate didn’t have a full-length mirror to hang in our room, and neither did I. Without it, I discovered that I could mark my progress based on how I felt rather than how I looked. This was great because it prevented me from being discouraged when I didn’t see results right away. Looking back on it now, not having the opportunity to constantly glance at my reflection actually played a pretty key role in my success. I ended up losing around 40 pounds total.

#27

Treat yourself really well. Be easy and gentle with your thoughts, then the decision to eat healthful foods will be easier to sustain.

#28

Make sure you’re actually drinking enough water. I realized I was terrible at it and it’s so stupid. I bought some 32-ounce bottles and put labels on them, so I have to drink 8 ounces by certain time points, fill up the bottle and do it again to get 64 ounces in a day. I feel a lot better and have an easier time exercising now that I’m not chronically dehydrated.

#29

Quit fad diets for good. I had lost weight before on really restrictive diets like the Dukan diet and then just gained it all back as soon as I was allowed my regular foods again. By deciding to quit the fad diets and eating smaller portions and mostly unprocessed foods, I found it was a whole lot easier to lose weight, I felt much healthier and the weight stayed off!

#30

Replace “I wish” with “I will.” I used to always say, ‘I wish I looked like that.’ Or I would look at people on Instagram who had lost 100 pounds and I would think, I wish I could do that. And then finally it just hit me. Stop wishing for it and just do it. Replacing ‘I wish’ with ‘I will’ has helped me make actual goals that I am on the way to achieving. I have been working out six days a week and watching what I eat for over a month now and I have lost over 20 pounds. I am so excited to see where I WILL be in a year!

#31

Chew flavored gum to keep your mouth busy and overcome eating addiction. It’s so much easier to quit chewing gum I find.

Image credits: unknown

#32

Do simple exercises like push-ups and sit-ups every night. Start out with low numbers and by the end you’ll be able to do 100+ push-ups a day. It’s just involves making it a part of your routine.

#33

Realizing that you CAN actually control your body weight. You are in the driver seat. Eat 2000 calories but burn 2500 calories a day? You WILL lose weight.

There is no secret to losing weight. End of the day it’s Cals in vs Cals out. The control and results are addicting.

Source: Lost 50 pounds in the past year.

#34

Stop buying your go-to unhealthy snacks so you’re not even tempted. The only snack food I keep in the house now is cottage cheese, Triscuit crackers, fruit, hummus, English muffins, and veggies.

#35

I think a lot of people go into dieting with a mentality of “I’m going to diet constantly until I hit my goal weight” and either end up stopping along the way or putting the weight back on within a year or two of reaching their goal. What I have found that helped me was stopping my diet every 3-4 weeks and having a period just trying to maintain that particular weight before I start up again on my diet. It has helped me keep things under control and it’s nice to have a little break from a diet every once in awhile.

Image credits: ElPapiGrande

#36

Be prepared for the psychological barriers you will face if you are dieting. People will pressure you to eat badly all the time without really realizing it – when you go over to your parents’ for Thanksgiving, when your co-workers go out for drinks and wings after work, when your partner wants to go out to eat and celebrate something, when you go over to a friends’ house for a dinner party.

People think they are being nice to you when they say that one piece of cake or big meal won’t kill you and you should just go for it. In other circumstances, they just won’t realize that are making you feel like a diva or a wet blanket when you don’t eat what they clearly want you to. You have to be prepared for these curveballs or they can undo everything.

Most diets are designed for you to be able to construct your meals basically from scratch at home, or consume something prepackaged. But for many people their lifestyle and social life just can’t accommodate that enough. You need to learn to have backup plans that don’t make you feel like an ass or a killjoy. Plans can involve eating before, deciding what you eat when you get there, and how to talk to other people about it so everyone is comfortable. It takes some effort, but you get the hang of it pretty fast if you work on it.

Image credits: zazzlekdazzle

#37

(Not fat, just had a brief “chubby” phase in my teens, but I cured it fast.)

My tip: don’t snack. it’s easier than you think.

Eat your breakfast, lunch, dinner. In between those, stay the hell out of the kitchen and eliminate snacking as an option at all. Stay busy with life and fun. Don’t wander around your house bored and depressed until you find yourself making peanut butter toast with cookies or chips. Just GTFO of the kitchen and into a life of some sort.

The bulk of the magic is in the diet, not exercise. It’s a hell of a lot easier/quicker to refrain from eating 500 extra calories than it is to eat it then try to burn off 500 extra calories.

So when you’re done a meal, brush your teeth and get on with your day.

#38

My trainer wanted me to run, but I just could not for the absolute life of me get into the habit of running. So I would do this walking / running interval. I still hated it

So I decided to just cycle instead. Yes it burns fewer calories than running but you know what, I actually do cardio when I’m cycling. With running I wouldn’t really do it, I’d be like “meh I can skip it today.”

#39

Cut down on beer.

Drink only water

Burn more calories than I consume

Eat smaller meals

Go hiking as much as possible in preferably challenging terrain.

Pull up bar.

I’ve went from 198-163 since the end of May and I look pretty damn fine now.

Also, mind numbing depression helps with the hunger…

#40

Don’t stop at home before going to the gym after work or class. I cut out the middle step of going home before working out and started going to the gym straight from work. If I set foot in my apartment, all intentions of going to the gym fall by the wayside because my bed and Netflix always sound like better alternatives. Going to the gym straight from work helped me get into a routine, and in just over a year, I’ve lost 45-plus pound

#41

Ditch alcohol

#42

Cut back on foods with added sugar. I got rid of added/extra sugar during Lent one year. This meant no desserts, no soda, no syrup, etc. Fresh fruit was OK and I used yogurt with the least amount of sugar to satisfy my sweet tooth. In 40 days, with minimal exercise outside of gym class in high school, I lost 20 pounds.

#43

Feeling hungry for a bit won’t kill you. Drink water and deal with it.

Image credits: Kitehammer

#44

Soda has to go, period. Sure you could balance it into you calorie counting but why bother when you could fill it with stuff that makes you feel better

#45

If you want to lose weight, start by honestly counting your calories. You dont need to cut back what you eat, just keep track. Keep doing this for 2-3 weeks. By doing this, you are showing yourself just how much you are consuming.

From there, establish a small goal for yourself, e.g. 2100 calories per day. Keep track and measure your calories honestly. It’s okay if you dont meet your goal every day, but aim for most days.

Once you are comfortable at that level, lower it a bit further down, to say 1800. Keep this up and repeat until you reach 1600, 1400, or 1200 calories per day.

Take time to work your way down. Dont deprive yourself of a once in a while treat. The end goal is not to hit a point and then go back to eating how you did when you started, it’s about changing how you eat permanently. Sustainability for how you eat is what it’s all about.

Personally, my goal is 1300/day and after doing this for 2 years, it has become normal. A bad cheat day for me is 1600-1900 calories, which is in line with what my body needs (BMR).

The hardest part of this process is being honest with what you are eating and sticking with your goals.

#46

Treat working out as a social activity. One of my friends got a Groupon deal for a gym, and about five of us signed up. I joined purely to hang out with the boys after work instead of going home and browsing the web. We started going every evening, and within a few weeks I started noticing significant differences (as all beginners can relate).

A month later, I signed up for a gym closer to work and started eating better. Now, four years later, I have lost 100 pounds of fat, and put on over 25 pounds of muscle.”

#47

“You can’t lose weight unless you are hungry.” Accept it and deal with it.

Image credits: reddit

This content was originally published here.

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11 Absolute Best Takeout Tricks for Weight Loss | Eat This Not That

Takeout can sometimes feel like a free pass. We secretly love it because it feels good to throw caution to the wind and surrender our dietary choices to the higher powers of whatever restaurant we're ordering from. It can even feel right to do that—takeout is a treat and we should be able to indulge as much as we want. This may very well be true if takeout was reserved for special occasions only, but during the pandemic, it has quickly become a reliable go-to in feeding ourselves and our families. It's safe to assume that no matter what your prior eating habits were, you are now enjoying more takeout food than ever. So it's even more important to be mindful of what you're eating and how you can make better diet choices, especially if weight loss is your end goal.

Don't think of healthy food as deprivation or an all-or-nothing deal—there are so many small, incremental steps you can take that will still support your weight loss goals. Try these tips and swaps next time you order takeout, and regain control over what you're eating. Sign up for our newsletter to get the latest food and diet news delivered straight to your inbox.

Put it on a plate

"Eating your takeout meal right out of the container may cause you to eat more as portions are usually large, especially with Chinese or Indian dishes," says Lisa Andrews, MEd, RD, LD, and owner of Sound Bites Nutrition. Instead, turn your takeout food into a dignified sit-down dinner, where you're truly enjoying every bite at the kitchen or dining table. After you've filled your plate with one serving, put the rest of the food away so you're not tempted to go back for seconds. You'll also have leftovers for tomorrow—here's how to store them properly.

If you're ordering an indulgent dish, split it

If you really want to go for that chicken tikka masala or lo mein, get an order to split with your family, and supplement the meal with a healthier side order or a big salad. We often order way more food than we need because we think that each person needs their own main dish. If your splitting the food with several people, order fewer mains and mix and match among the group. You'll get to try several delicious things, and you'll likely feel more satisfied while eating less food. Here are the 101 Unhealthiest Menu Items in America.

Don't go for the unhealthiest options

If you're going to eat takeout several times a week, make sure you're balancing your fast food cravings with options that are more suitable for weight loss. Already had pizza this week? Opt for sushi, a salad, or a grain bowl instead. Craving Chinese? Go for it, but don't get the notoriously unhealthy General Tso's chicken (laden with fat and deep fried). Make sure you avoid 7 Worst Takeout and Delivery Foods Ever.

Order a healthy veggie side for a good balance

No matter what type of restaurant you're ordering from, there are bound to be several vegetable-forward options on the menu. If you supplement your meal with a side of roasted broccoli or a nice big Greek salad, you'll be less inclined to eat the whole order of pasta that came with it. This way, you're also making sure you're getting your daily dose of greens without compromising the main you truly want.

More on Restaurants

Ask for healthier swaps

Most restaurants will let you swap out white rice for brown rice or quinoa, and plain pasta for whole-grain pasta or even zucchini noodles. If you're getting a sandwich, go for baby carrots or a side salad instead of a bag of potato chips, and instead of French fries with your burger, how about a nice side of deliciously roasted Brussels sprouts or some sweet potato fries? There are so many ways you can lighten the calorie load of your meal! Check out our list of 40 Food Swaps to Lose Weight.

Don't ruin it with soda

Just because soda and pizza or soda and burgers seem like such a quintessential pairing doesn't mean you're actually obligated to order it. Try skipping soda (or any other type of fountain drink for that matter) to reduce your sugar intake and avoid unhealthy synthetic sweeteners. Instead try some seltzer water—the refreshing satisfaction will still be there without all the extra calories. Here's a list of 108 Most Popular Sodas Ranked by How Toxic They Are.

Do away with sugary condiments

Condiments are the spice of life, am I right? But they're also very easily overlooked when you're tallying up the calories of your meal, because we feel like they're just implied. Sauces like ketchup, sriracha, mayo, and honey mustard actually pack significant amounts of sugar, and the calories can quickly add up when we're using them on our food liberally (aka squirting them mindlessly on anything and everything). First off, try to appreciate the flavor of whole foods, vegetables, and meat without having to douse them in condiments. If you still need a bit of flavor, opt for a yogurt-based sauce like tzatziki or a fresh salsa. Learn about the best and worst condiments for weight loss here.

Get the dressing on the side or make your own

Salad dressing can be just as tricky as condiments. If you're eating a salad mixed with a ton of ranch dressing, you're doing yourself a disservice. Again, opt for lighter yogurt- or olive oil–based options, or make one of these healthy salad dressings at home. You can also ask for dressing on the side and use it sparingly in your dish. (Same goes for dips that come with your dumplings.) These are the 20 Unhealthiest Salad Dressings on the Planet.

Skip the fried stuff

Fried foods have a sneaky way of finding their way onto so many menu options that tempt us. From appetizers like fried potstickers, spring rolls, samosas, and mozz sticks, to mains that feature fried stuff like chimichangas, chicken parm, and French fries, it can sometimes feel like fried food is the easiest and most delicious option. But if you're truly watching your weight, the fried stuff needs to go. Opt instead for pan-seared or roasted protein like salmon or rotisserie chicken, baked or mashed potatoes instead of fries, and appetizers like salads, roasted vegetables, or hummus. These are the 19 Unhealthiest Restaurant Appetizers in America.

Blot the extra grease

It may seem silly, but you can actually get rid of a lot of extra oil from your food by blotting it with a paper towel. Make it a habit to remove extra grease from your pizza before you eat it, and you could be shaving off up to 40 calories a slice. Who's laughing now?

Even if you're opting for a dish that mostly consists of carbs, there are ways to minimize the damage to your waistline. If you're eating a sandwich or a burger, get rid of the top slice of bread and eat it open-faced; if you're going for pizza, opt for thin crust and avoid deep dish, and if you're craving a burrito, skip the tortilla and get a burrito bowl instead. You'll feel just as satisfied without being bogged down and zapped of energy. Get more tips with 9 Genius Tricks for Cutting Carbs You've Never Tried.

She Lost 100 Pounds—And Shows You How!

Registered Dietitian and Nutritionist Ilana Muhlstein lost her weight and kept it off—and in You Can Drop It!, she'll show you how to lose it, too. More than 240,000 clients have chosen her program—and now it’s yours to keep.

[riyuyami]

officialgrandpa replied to your post “I want to do some drabbles tonight, but I’m a little worried about...”

atem spends a day with the kaiba brothers? maybe they go to kaiba land or sleep over thing :0

“So, explain to me why exactly we’re babysitting your sorry ass again?”

“You’re not ‘babysitting’ me.”

“Yeah, Seto! Yugi suggested we hang out with Atem to get to know him better, since, you know, he’s not a spirit anymore and he’s here to stay!”

Kaiba scoffed as he looked at the spiky-haired boy who sat across from him in the limo. “I’ve spent time with you before, even after you got this body. I am the one to give you your ‘official’ documents. And don’t forget about the planetarium trip.”

Atem rolled his eyes. “Anyway, thanks for letting me spend time with you guys, I know I don’t need to stay at your place, but with Grandpa off on that expedition with Professor Hawkins, and Yugi is attending that con with Jounouchi in Tokyo...”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re not allowed alone at the game shop cause something could happen, right?”

The former king nodded. “Aibou worries, you know?”

“Why couldn’t you stay with your other friends?” Mokuba asked, not that he was complaining.

“Honda is busy babysitting his nephew, Anzu is in New York, and Otogi’s dad isn’t too keen on a Mutou staying at his place. And Ryou is at that con as well.”

The limo pulled into the grounds of the Kaiba estate as they spoke and when it parked, Atem jumped out, taking with him the backpack and duffle bag he had brought. “So where am I staying?”

“In a guest room, like when Yugi and Jounouchi stayed here!” Mokuba grinned. “And don’t worry, you won’t be poisoned this time!” His joke got sour looks from the two duelists. “What? It’s true!”

“Right.” Atem replied, following them into the mansion. Kaiba gave him a small tour before showing him where his room will be for the weekend. After they dropped of Atem’s stuff, Kaiba led him to another room, one that the pharaoh didn’t expect to see.

It was a huge room, devoted to games and play. There was a large television with multiple game consuls connected to it, and several comfy seats in front of it. There was a pool table, air hockey table, and a Foosball table as well. Lots of classic arcade games lined the walls in the back. “Mokuba thinks you’d like this room during your stay.” Kaiba smirked.

Atem stared in shock before he grinned. “We gotta play! Now!” He grabbed Kaiba’s hand, dragging him over to the air hockey table, much to his protest. Mokuba followed, laughing and said he’d get to play the winner.

 Several hours later found Atem setting on a gamer chair, leaning back to the point where the rocking seat was just gonna tip over, but Kaiba righted him without ever taking his eyes off the screen.

“You’re doing shit as P-Body.” The brunet commented.

“Hey! Come on, it’s my first time playing two-player mod for Portal. Aibou doesn’t like these games too much, and Jounouchi is shit at it.”

“Heh, please, as if you need to remind me that Jounouchi sucks at games.”

“He’s pretty good at Overwatch.” Mokuba commented before biting into the slice of pizza he had just picked up.

Kaiba snorted. “He’s not that great. And neither is that game.”

“You’re just mad that I’m better at it than you~” His brother sang with a mouth full of pizza. Atem snickered, until he screamed when Kaiba knocked his seat back, only for him to shoot right back up.

“Asshole!”

“Shut up and eat your greasy dinner.”

Atem made a face and snatched up a slice, biting into the crust first, much to Mokuba’s outrage, that’s not how you eat pizza! Well, shit, maybe Atem was one of those rare guys who just so happened to like the crust.

The games continued for a bit longer until they decided to watch a movie. It was surprising that Kaiba was still with Mokuba and Atem in the room as they watched Disney movies (Atem’s choice). But it took them a while to realize that the tallest of the three ended up falling asleep during the third movie they put on.

Mokuba and Atem chuckled and quietly sat there with a sleeping Kaiba, singing along to the songs in the movie until they too passed out.

When Atem woke up, it was five in the morning, the TV displayed the DVD menu of the movie they had been watching, and the Kaiba brothers were still there, both lightly snoring and Kaiba drooling a little. He smiled, turning off the TV before snapping a quick picture of them.

Hmm, maybe he could use it to blackmail Kaiba into taking him to Kaiba Land later that day.

--

How... did this turn into a mini fic rather than a drabble? I was trying to keep things short tonight :P Oh well. Also, I might write the Kaiba Land part later, cause I can totally work with it.

[asfeedin]

The Best Mother’s Day Gifts to Keep Isolated Moms in Good Spirits

When I was growing up, Mother’s Day celebrations always took place at my great uncle David’s house. We’d sit at a big round table, eating heavily buttered Lender’s bagels. The conversation was often over my head, which didn’t really matter because I’d escape as soon as possible to play my uncle’s ancient Frogger, pretty much the only video game I’ve ever played in my life.

This year, I find myself looking back on that time in black-and-white, so unattainable that I almost can’t believe it ever happened. I’d love to spend Mother’s Day sitting around the table with my family and eating wonderfully crappy bagels. But this year I’m in quarantine in Brooklyn, with my mom in Boston and my family spread out all over the country. Many of you, I’m sure, are feeling the same way, longing for the chance to hang with your mom but unable to do so.

It’s also likely that there are those of you who might be quarantined with your mom and wishing you could have a little more distance. So this year, whether you’re 100 miles or 100 paces apart, we have a few gifts in mind to make this difficult period in history a little more celebratory and comforting.

A few tips: If you’re in quarantine with your mom, try using this new equipment or enjoying these tasty snacks together. And if you’re apart, have a Zoom session to experiment in the kitchen with each other. Of course, it’s possible your mom relishes her time in the kitchen because it’s the only moment of alone time she gets in the day. So, in that case, give your gift. Then give the woman some privacy.

For Cooking and Baking

Tagine

A new piece of cooking equipment is a nice way to help Mom expand her repertoire. This beautiful tagine makes for an impressive cooking vessel and serving dish. Pair it with a printed-out (dare I say, laminated?) recipe for a flavorful North African stew for cozy nights in.

This particular tagine, which is handmade in Tunisia, comes in a few different colors, so you can select whichever one suits your mom’s preferred color palette. Better yet, pick one to match her kitchen, and she can keep it on display all year long.

Back to the full list

Rice Cooker

Whether it’s burned, gloopy, dry, or just plain glued to the pan, a bad batch of rice is a deeply disappointing experience. But a good rice cooker takes all guesswork out of the equation. The Cuckoo model shown here is our favorite for cooks who regularly purchase and eat lots of different rice varieties (you can see our other picks in our full rice cooker review). If that’s your mom, she’ll enjoy all of the custom presets the Cuckoo has to offer. What’s more, this machine has a small footprint, which will be appreciated by apartment and house moms alike.

Pick one of these up for her, and save her from disappointing-rice hell for the true gift that keeps on giving.

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Vitamix

Maybe Mom’s a smoothie person, or maybe she’s into milling her own flour (what with flour being out of stock these days, maybe we should all do this). For that, she’ll need a kick-ass blender. Our exhaustive testing of high-powered blending lands on the Vitamix as a go-to for blasting through everything from wheat berries to fibrous kale.

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Quality Wooden Cutting Board

Like the Vitamix, a quality wooden cutting board is an investment piece. While the price may be high, if you take care of this board, it will take care of you—and your knives.

For a really nice board, we look to The BoardSmith, a small, family-run company that makes all its boards by hand. Its maple end-grain board is thick, solid, and long-lasting (Daniel’s been using his for years!). It comes in a few different sizes and offers some customizations like a juice groove and feet.

If you’re worried about your mom handling the upkeep, we’ve got her covered. Just print out our cheat sheet for cutting board maintenance, and she’ll be good to go.

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Chef’s Knife

Like my mom, maybe yours has been using the same knives for years. To remedy that dull situation, grab her a new chef’s knife. You can go Japanese or Western—Western blades tend to be heavier and more curved than their Japanese counterparts—but these two took home the top prizes in our chef’s knife review—out of a whopping 27 candidates! They’ll revitalize your mom’s knife skills and make slicing and dicing much safer.

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Mortar and Pestle

If she’s all set on knives, I’d recommend a mortar and pestle. There’s a wide variety of styles and use cases. Sure, they’re ideal for grinding up sauces and pestos, but no matter what style you opt for, they’re guaranteed to help Mom work out some stress and anxiety, too. *Take that, quarantine!*

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Piping Tips

There’s lots to get for your mom if she’s into baking. If she already has the essentials, treat her to some decorative tools like piping tips. These large ones are perfect for piping out creamy Oreo filling and dollops of chocolate Swiss meringue buttercream onto cakes. The set comes with several different shapes like swirls and stars, so she can get as creative as she’d like.

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Marble Pastry Slab

This marble pastry slab isn’t just a pretty base. It’s a smooth and cool surface for rolling out buttery pie crusts, laminating dough, and even tempering chocolate. It’s also good-looking enough to act as a serving platter for all those baked goods. And what mom doesn’t love a multitasker?

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Scale

If your mom is just starting out on her baking adventures, she needs a good scale. We’ve said it time and again, but measuring cups aren’t accurate enough on their own. Sure, she should have some, but a scale is indispensable if she’s going to produce beautiful breads, pastries, and treats.

We especially love this pull-out scale from OXO because it’ll show measurements even if there’s a big bowl on top of it. And lord knows we’re into batch-baking right now. The bigger the bowl, the better.

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Baking Dish

This Staub baking dish is another multitasker that Mom will love. The “splurge winner” for our baking and casserole dish review, it’s nice and heavy, it’s oven-safe at up to a whopping 575°F (300°C), and with excellent heat retention, it’ll keep what she’s made hot longer than the average baking dish. With a four-quart capacity, it’s large enough to hold not just brownies but roasts and big, holiday-friendly casseroles.

Maybe instead of wrapping this one, make a huge Hasselback potato gratin, serve it, and tell her it’s all for her.

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Baking Steel

Maybe now’s the time to get Mom into pizza-making. (That’s what’s happening to us, anyway.) For better, faster pizza at home, pick her up a Baking Steel to get that crust extra-crispy. Upon trying his own, Kenji noticed that his New York–style pizza dough even got those traditional oven-charred spots and a super-crisp bottom that’s hard to achieve, even with a pizza stone.

The Baking Steel will also prove useful if Mom is into baking bread, since it can measurably improve the performance of her oven by adding thermal mass. This means it’ll keep her oven hotter, ensuring those loaves get a full rise.

In layman’s terms, a Baking Steel is a piece of kitchen badassery that anyone would love. Plus, it’s too heavy to return, so she’ll keep it forever no matter what.

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KitchenAid Pasta Roller Set

For homemade pasta and ramen noodles as good (if not better) than what you’ll find at restaurants, pick up a KitchenAid pasta roller that will attach right to her mixer. You can even print out our exhaustive walk-through of how to make fresh pasta from scratch. It’s more reliable than anyone else in the family.

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A Supportive Floor Mat

It might not seem critical, but having a supportive mat on the kitchen floor can make cooking (and dish-washing) much more comfortable for cooks of any age. These GelPro mats are nice and squishy, providing good support for feet and knees. Maybe it’s not glamorous, but it’s a gift she’ll appreciate after a long day in the kitchen.

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A Chic Apron

This linen apron from Etsy is as functional as it is good-looking. It has a big pocket for thermometers and tongs, and it doesn’t have annoying ties, which is perhaps its greatest appeal. Mom can just slip it on and get cooking.

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For the Home

Robot Vacuum

It’s an indisputable fact that the worst part of cooking is cleaning. That’s why this year we’ve added a good vacuum to the list. And not just any vacuum, but one that requires almost zero energy from your mom. It’s an iRobot Roomba. Plug this baby in, turn it on, and let it go. It’ll pick up all of those stray crumbs in the kitchen and living room. And if your mom is anything like me, she’ll name her robot vacuum, start to talk to it, and by the end of quarantine, she’ll have made a new, very helpful friend.

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Wine Glasses

While mom is sitting back and relaxing, letting the Roomba do the work, make sure she has everything she needs for a nice self-care session. That should start with a nice glass of wine. (Yes, the wine should be nice, but the glass should be, too!) These reasonably priced (for crystal) glasses from Riedel did exceptionally well in our tests, impressing professional sommeliers (and yes, the casual wine-drinkers among us) with their ability to capture the aroma of red, white, and bubbly wines.

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Otherland Candles

Pair that glass of wine with a nice candle, and you’ll really be in business. For candle-gifting these days, I’ve been using Otherland, a company founded by an old high school friend of mine. The candles smell wonderful, they’re handmade (and free of parabens and chemicals), and the packaging looks like a gift unto itself.

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Breville Espresso Machine

If your mom is an espresso drinker, help her sip in style with a fancy espresso machine. This is actually the machine we use in our office (not that we’ve been there in what feels like an eternity). It produces beautiful espresso, is easy to use, and can even whip up frothy milk! Sure, it costs a whole lot, but Mom’s worth it.

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Jono Pandolfi Espresso Cup

So maybe you won’t be splurging on that espresso machine, but you can still help her sip in style with a Jono Pandolfi espresso cup. These beautiful little cups are all handmade. Plus, they’re dishwasher-safe, which as far as I can tell, is the best gift anyone could ask for.

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Parlor Coffee Subscription

You could also treat your coffee-loving mom to a subscription from Parlor Coffee and support a small business in the process. They source their beans from all over the world, offering single blends and origins, plus weekly and monthly shipping.

Better yet, grab yourself a subscription as well, especially if it’s been hard finding coffee at the grocery store.

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Powerful Coffee Grinder

If you’re going to treat Mom to good coffee, make sure she has a good grinder to match. Baratza’s Virtuoso coffee grinder was a favorite in our review. The conical burr produces a wide range of grind sizes, the machine is solid (made from both metal and plastic), and the customer service is excellent, which is important when your caffeine intake is on the line.

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For Eating: The Sweet Edition

Beautiful Caramels

Our new features editor, Daniela, says that while pastry chef’s Susanna Yoon’s chocolates are some of the best in the country, her soft caramels are the sleeper hit. They come in rich flavors like raspberry, brown butter macadamia nut, sea salt, and salted peanut, and they’re available in 10- and 20-piece gift packs. Each luscious little caramel is individually wrapped in cellophane paper for a delicious little treat far more elegant and elevated than any supermarket brand.

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Raaka Chocolates

If you do want to go the chocolate route, pick up some Raaka chocolate bars. This trio pack comes with wild flavors like pink sea salt and bourbon cask–aged. What’s more, the wrappers are a piece of art themselves. They’ll make Mom’s chocolate break all the more glorious and exciting.

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Real-Deal Chocolate Hazelnut Spread

We’ve long championed this chocolate-hazelnut spread from our friends over at Gustiamo. It’s rich, luscious, and might just ruin the original. Is that a bad thing? Perhaps. But once Mom’s hooked, you can make sending her a jar of Gustiamo’s concoction a regular thing. Birthdays, holidays—send a jar, and you’ll be all set.

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Pistachio Brittle

This Iranian toffee from Persian Basket is flavored with saffron and cardamom. It’s nice and sweet, just like English toffee, and it’s topped with toasty pistachios. The buttery hunks are packaged in a lovely, colorful box—and the website says the toffee pairs well with wine. No mom could say no to that.

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Pistachio Spread

Our founder, Ed, is constantly praising Gustiamo’s pistachio spread (which we hope he shares with his wife when he has it!). While it’s a pricey everyday purchase, this pistachio spread makes for a very special gift, made with Italian pistachios and little else.

While you could obviously just dive in with a spoon, this rich treat would also taste excellent spread over your morning toast, smothered on a sticky bun, or drizzled over ice cream.

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Frog Hollow Citrus Basket

I suppose citrus would fall under the sweet category as well. If Mom always has lemon in her water or is constantly digging into grapefruits, get her a gift box from Frog Hollow Citrus. This farm has been practicing regenerative agriculture since your mom was in her early days. Giving her one of its boxes packed with citrus is an excellent way to send a little sunshine even in the depths of quarantine doldrums.

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Bergamot Marmalade

Of course, if she prefers that citrus on her toast, then add some bergamot marmalade to her Gustiamo order. For the uninitiated, bergamot is a citrus fruit that’s sort of a cross between bitter oranges and lemons. In other words, the perfect pairing to hot biscuits and English muffins.

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For Eating: The Savory Stuff

A Great Spice Mix

My love for this particular spice mix is undying. Filled with pink Himalayan sea salt, grains of paradise, shallots, garlic, and more, the World’s Fair Barbecue Rub is versatile and delicious. It transforms everything it touches, from eggs to steak to tomato sauce. Whenever I feel like a dish is just a little bit bland, I add a few sprinkles, and it turns the whole thing right around. Starting at $6.99, a bag or glass jar of this mix from The Spice House is an excellent, affordable, and useful gift for Mom. (She’s over tchotchkes and so are we.)

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A Spice Set

I happen to know some moms whose pantry is full of old spices that have basically lost all of their flavor and are now just dust particles. If this is your mom, consider getting her a new set of spices to revitalize her collection. We’re particularly enamored with this gift set from Burlap & Barrel, which has all of the essentials. As Daniel puts it, these spices are not just fresher than what you’ll find elsewhere, but they’re “er-er,” which is his way of saying that they’re “better in every way from the ho-hum stuff on supermarket shelves.” If that isn’t an endorsement, then I don’t know what is.

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Sichuan Peppercorns

Málà is that wonderful flavor you taste and feel when you’re eating Sichuan cuisine. And that hot and numbing sensation comes from Sichuan peppercorns. If you want the good stuff, look to Mala Market, a small company that imports all of its ingredients straight from China. Their Sichuan peppercorns will give your chili crisp more buzz—and will be your mom’s gateway into the wide world of Sichuan cooking.

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AeroGarden

Whether your mom has a green thumb or a black thumb, she’ll revel in an AeroGarden. Especially during this time of quarantine and limited grocery trips, having an AeroGarden is not only satisfying but useful. Without much effort at all, your mom could have all the herbs she could ever want growing just about anywhere in the house, regardless of her natural-light situation.

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Lots of Pasta

We cannot get enough pasta here at Serious Eats. (Did you even see Starch Madness?) While we’re perfectly happy eating pasta from supermarket brands, sometimes we like to splurge, and the splurge is almost always at Gustiamo, which imports Faella dried pasta from Italy. During Covid times, Gustiamo is offering five-pound bags of certain shapes, including penne. While mom is trying to stay home, there’s probably nothing better to gift her than a gigantic bag of pasta. The fact that it’s from Italy and is really, really delicious? Well, that’s just icing on the pasta cake.

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Meat From D’Artagnan

Now it’s time to talk meat. Our culinary team has long looked to D’Artagnan for specialty meats, like porcelet collar and duck. And when shelves at grocery stores are bare and you want to fill your freezer, D’Artagnan is a great place to look. While the steaks and specialty meats can be pricey, I’d look to the ground beef as a gift. Sure, it’s not sexy, but wait, what am I talking about? A good burger is definitely sexy.

If you’re quarantined with Mom and you decide to go the duck route, you’re in luck. We have all sorts of recipes from our duckstravaganza. Maybe go for a group project and dry-age your duck for the best duck breast either of you will have ever had.

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Pantry-Friendly ‘Nduja

You’ve also likely seen us talking a lot about ‘nduja lately. Why? It’s an affordable pantry ingredient that can amp up all sorts of dishes, from casual beans and greens to mac and cheese and even eggs. Better still, ‘nduja lasts for ages in the fridge, so Mom can take a scoop whenever the mood strikes.

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Tags: day, Gifts, Good, Isolated, moms, Mothers, Spirits

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[askmetaborrowers]

An Accidental Tip pt. 2

“I’m hungry.” Allison said later that night as she wrapped herself up in the little nest they had created out of one of Mark’s shirts. They were currently under the bed of their sleeping human, trying to go to sleep themselves, but Allison’s stomach kept her from doing so. The last thing either of them ate was the pancake from that morning.

“I told you, I’m out of pancakes.” Amanda’s voice was muffled from beneath the shirt. “Just try and sleep it off.”

“I can’t, it hurts.” Allison always got stomach pains when she was hungry and it really sucked. It wasn’t usually a problem, their home was right near the kitchen, so it was a short and easy journey. But they couldn’t exactly do that here.

“Ugh, FINE.” Amanda dramatically flopped out of bed, slinging her borrowing bag over her shoulder and tossing Allison’s at her. “I guess we’re taking a midnight borrowing journey then.”

Allison jumped, but managed to catch her bag. She slung it over her shoulder and got out of the nest. “Is there even a kitchen in this place?” She asked, still not knowing what this place actually was.

Amanda shrugged. “Well, there’s gotta be food somewhere.” She headed over towards the door, crouching near the ground to inspect the gap between the door and the floor. “Rats, it’s too small. We’re never squeezing through there.”

In that moment, Allison heard shifting coming from the far bed. Her eyes widened and she grabbed Amanda’s arm, pulling her towards the nearby dresser.

Jack groaned, awake and yawned. He turned and sighed as he realized the reason he was awake. He got out of bed and quietly made his way to the door, making sure to not wake Mark up. He opened the door and went down the hall towards the bathroom.

“Now’s our chance!” Amanda bolted towards the open door, only a few human feet behind Jack.

Allison blinked before running after Amanda, they both made it just in time. The door shut behind them with a soft click. Allison looked toward the door.

“I know we’re out and that’s what we wanted, but how are we gonna get back in?” She asked, motioning to the huge unmovable door.

“Eh, let’s focus on food and worry about that later.” Amanda shrugged. She watched Jack disappear down the hall into the bathroom.

Allison was gonna say something about that remark, but cut herself off when something caught her nose. She sniffed the air. “Do you smell that?” It was kind of faint, but definitely there.

“Food!” Amanda’s mouth began to water, very hungry herself. She followed her nose to a different room door left ajar, the heavenly scent growing stronger. “It must be in here.”

“Well, what are we waiting for! I’m starving.” Allison peeked around the edge of the door, scanning the room. It appeared to be an exact copy of the room they had just left and for a second, Allison thought it was. But on closer inspection, she noticed a light coming from one of the beds and a human who was definitely not Mark or his friend, Jack, as they had learned earlier.

“Someone's awake.” She whispered to Amanda. Her eyes scanned the room again and her eyes found a box, just sitting on the floor with a few half finished slices of pizza.

“Okay, wait here, i’ll check it out.” Amanda volunteered, slowly sneaking towards the pizza while keeping an eye on the brown-haired human. Why on earth was he awake this late?

Reaching the pizza box, Amanda realized it was right within his line of sight. If he looked away from his screen for even a moment, Amanda could easily be spotted. Despite the danger, Amanda slowly began to drag a half slice of pizza away.

“Hmm?” Dan’s eyes caught movement in the corner of his vision. He turned his head, eyes going wide at the sight of what appeared to be a tiny girl taking his pizza.

Amanda’s heart raced so fast that she thought it would jump out of her chest at any moment. Taking a risk, Amanda grabbed the pizza and bolted as fast as her legs would carry her across the room and under the second bed.

Dan blinked, rubbing at his eyes and trying to decide what had just happened. He got out of bed, walking slowly. He crouched down and tried to see under the beds, but could not make out anything strange in the darkness. Dan looked back at the pizza box, trying to decide if a piece really was missing. Finally, Dan made his way over to the door, looking both ways down the hall to see if this was some sort of prank.

“Okay, I think that’s enough tumblr for one night.” Dan spoke aloud, shutting the door and returning to bed. He quickly powered down his computer and put it on the nightstand, glancing over to see Phil still fast asleep. Dan ducked under the covers and hoped all this late night browsing wasn’t making him go insane.

Amanda didn’t calm down until the light of the computer turned off and she could hear the snores of both humans above. Amanda waved at her friend, who was looking at her with a horrified expression from across the room.

“I got some food.” Amanda called out, pointing to the slice she had worked so hard to get.

“I can see that…” Allison had scrambled to hide behind the dresser when she saw the human get out of bed. Now that she was confident the two were asleep, she walked over to where Amanda was under the bed.

“I also see he closed the door, so we’re stuck in here for the night.” She might’ve been more worried if not for the pizza Amanda was holding. “At least we got something to eat.” She smiled and ripped off a piece of the crust.

“Thanks by the way, it was stupid, but you did get us the food.” Allison added as she nibbled on her piece.

“Eh, it went better than some of my other plans.” Amanda shrugged, biting into the piece.

“That is true.” Allison said, thinking back to all the times they almost got caught by Mark or his friends. She took another bite.

[northshorehealthandfitness]

Stuff To Read While You’re Pretending To Work: 11/10/17

I’ve got a busy and exciting weekend coming up. First off I’m gonna head to the gym shortly after pressing “publish” on this post, go deadlift my face off, and follow-suit with my weekly visit to my favorite pizza place here in Boston – Upper Crust.

Later on I’ll head to the airport to pick my boy Dean Somerset. We’re both teaching the Complete Shoulder & Hip Blueprint to a sold out crowd at AMP Fitness this weekend. It’ll be bitter-sweet because after 20+ times teaching it across the world (LA, Seattle, London, Prague, Oslo, Minneapolis, Vancouver), it’s likely our last “planned” presentation of the course.

We’ll be sad to turn the page, but we’re excited to drum up a new curriculum.1

Lets get to this week’s list.

Copyright: gregorylee / 123RF Stock Photo

But First

1) Looking For Strong MOFo’s

Earlier this week Bryan Krahn and I announced we’re looking for people to beta-test our Strong MOFo program.

MOFo = Man Over Forty.

You can read all about it HERE.

Of, if you prefer the Cliff Notes version: if you’re a 35+ (man or woman) and looking to follow a 4-month program that’s designed to get you strong, maybe get you a better bicep peak, not kill you, and take into account you’re not 25 anymore (and written be two competent coaches) it may be right up your alley.

Direct link HERE.

2) BarBend.com Interview: Training Over 40 and Deadlifts

I was asked by the peeps over at BarBend.com to talk about training over 40 (catching a theme here?) and you know anytime I start talking about lifting things the conversation will gravitate towards deadlifts.

But we also talked about women and chin-up training too.

You can check it out HERE.

3) Latest Men’s Health Article

Men’s Health asked me to comment on what would make most guy’s pecs more “pecy.” HERE’s what I had to some on the topic.

Stuff To Read While You’re Pretending To Work

25 Ways to Eat Well On the Go – Dr. John Berardi

I work with a lot of clients who are on the go and travel a ton for their work. This infographic is going to save me a TON of time.

6 Reasons You Should Never Open Up a Gym – John Romano

Admittedly it’s a liiiiiiiitle bit negative for my tastes in some parts, but as a gym owner myself I was shaking my head in agreement a lot as I was reading this.

30 Thoughts on Life, Strength & Conditioning, and Business – Erica Suter

I always enjoy reading these types of “reflection” posts from coaches. I find they’re often more “raw” and candid writing in this format.

I mean, you have to respect any business tip that says “drink coffee and pretend you know what you’re doing.” Hahahahaha. So true.

Social Media Shenanigans

Twitter

The training programs that tend to work best are often relentlessly monotonous. People rarely need as much “variety” as they think.

— Tony Gentilcore (@tonygentilcore1) November 3, 2017

Instagram

Had to jimmy-rig a wide, neutral grip pull-up setting during training today. Didn’t have any options so I placed a trap bar at the highest slot on the squat rack. Worked well. Just be careful not to bump your head like I did (on the last two). McGyverism for the win.

A post shared by Tony Gentilcore (@tonygentilcore) on Nov 6, 2017 at 11:09am PST

The post Stuff To Read While You’re Pretending To Work: 11/10/17 appeared first on Tony Gentilcore.

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Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie of Your Dreams

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Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie of Your Dreams

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Dessert doesn’t get any better than a Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie with layers of graham cracker, peanut butter filling, and chocolate. It’s a chocolate and peanut butter lover’s dream come true!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie

If there was ever a dessert to put someone in a legitimate food coma, it would be this pie. I’m kind of going into a trance just thinking about it right now. It’s only fitting that the first time this recipe came into my life it was the national day of food comas, Thanksgiving.

Just this past Thanksgiving I learned what I had been missing out on my whole life while spending the holiday in Chicago with my boyfriend’s family. His mom Jane, the sweetest lady you’ll ever meet, makes this peanut butter pie every year for Thanksgiving and it’s always a crowd favorite, like so much blood will be drawn if it’s missing from the dessert table. After trying it I totally understand why!

Thankfully, as mentioned before, she’s the best and gave me the recipe, allowing me to share it with all of you! 

A Triple Threat Peanut Butter Pie

This pie is kind of like that girl you love to hate in every teenage drama lifetime movie. You know, the one that looked like she walked right off a runway while managing to be the valedictorian, and the captain of the dance team. The true triple threat that everyone wanted to be.

So, what I’m trying to say is that every other pie out there is going to be jealous of this one. From the graham cracker crust to the peanut butter filling, topped off with a chocolate ganache, this chocolate peanut butter pie has it all!

All of the flavors come together for a chocolate peanut butter perfection that’s irresistible!

How To Be A Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie Superhero

If you want to be the hero of all future parties and family gatherings, just like Jane, you just have to follow the quick and easy steps to make this pie!

It does have 3 different layers, but don’t let that make you think it’s too hard because trust me it’s not! You can actually even shorten the directions, and prep time and buy a store made graham cracker crust. It makes the whole pie no-bake, taste just as good and it saves some time!

Then all you have to do is mix up the peanut butter filling, and the chocolate topping. They’re both super simple and only take a few ingredients.

Once you get through the torture that is waiting for it chill for a couple hours, it will be ready to serve. Just don’t forget to top it with whipped cream first (a rule my boyfriend’s family lives by).

How to Save and Store A Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie

I debated on whether or not this paragraph was necessary because it’s so good, that most of the time it’s probably going to be devoured before you even have the chance to save any. If you do manage to sneak some away for later here’s what you’ll do.

The cream cheese component in this chocolate peanut butter pie means it needs to be kept in the refrigerator. It will keep for about 4-6 days refrigerated, and 6-9 months frozen.

When storing in the refrigerator be sure to cover the pie with plastic wrap, or cut it up into slices and place it in an airtight container.

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More Chocolate… More Peanut Butter… More of Everything Good

A chocolate peanut butter combo is my absolute favorite. If I could only eat one thing for the rest of my life it would probably be something chocolate peanut butter. I make sure to always be on the watch for new recipes to try, and I’ve found some pretty amazing ones lately. Here are a few of my favorites.

Peanut Butter Blow Out Cookies

Chocolate Peanut Butter Energy Balls

Peanut Butter Banana Bread With Chocolate Chips

Peanut Butter Lasagna

Easy Peanut Butter Chocolate Fudge

Chocolate Peanut Butter Crunch Bars

Your New Chocolate Peanut Butter Obsession

You have to be craving a slice of pie by now. If not, I think you might need to see a doctor, because something’s must be wrong with you. Since I know you’re going to start whipping up this recipe immediately, I look forward to seeing your pics and comments in a few hours once you’ve tried your beautiful creation.

Yield: 8-10 servings

Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie

Prep Time: 25 minutes

Cook Time: 8 mins

Total Time: 33 minutes + chill time

Dessert doesn't get any better than a Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie with layers of graham cracker, peanut butter filling, and chocolate. It's pie perfection.

Print Recipe

Ingredients:

Crust

1 1/2 cups graham cracker crumbs (about 1 1/2 sleeves of graham crackers)

1/3 cup of sugar

8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, melted

Filling

8 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature

1 cup creamy peanut butter

1 cup sugar

3/4 cup of heavy or whipping cream

Topping

1/2 cup sugar

1/2 cup heavy or whipping cream

2 ounces unsweetened chocolate

4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions:

Preheat the oven to 350°F

Prepare the crust: Combine the graham cracker crumbs, sugar, and melted butter in a mixing bowl, and stir until well combined. Press the mixture into the bottom and sides of a 9-inch pie dish.

Bake crust for 8 minutes. Set aside to cool completely. (throw it in the freezer to speed up the cooling process if necessary)

Prepare the filling: With an electric mixer combine the cream cheese, peanut butter, and sugar in a large bowl until well blended. Set aside.

Whip the cream with an electric mixer until stiff peaks form, and fold it into the cream cheese mixture. Spoon the filling into the cooled crust.

Prepare the topping: Combine the sugar and cream in a small saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce the heat and simmer, without stirring, for 6 minutes.

Remove the pan from the heat, immediately add the chocolate and butter, and stir until melted. Then stir in the vanilla.

While still warm, carefully pour the topping over the pie, and refrigerate, uncovered, for at least 4 hours.

Instead of making a graham cracker crust, you can also buy a premade crust and skip directions 1-3 Make sure the cream cheese is completely softened, my best tip is to set it on the counter, or outside for several hours as opposed to softening in the microwave. It's what gives me the best results. Don't skip the chill time, or the filling and topping will be too soft, and you'll be unable to cut smooth pieces. Dust with some extra graham cracker crumbs for an extra crunch on top.

Making this recipe? Share it with us on Instagram using the hashtag #TidyMom so we can see what you're creating in the kitchen!

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Categories: Desserts, Pies/Cobblers, Recipes Tags: Chocolate, cream cheese, graham cracker, Peanut Butter, peanuts, pie

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about the author Allison Sousan

I'm Allison, a girl who loves a challenge and is ready for anything that life dishes out. I am here to follow my passion and dive into the crazy and fun world that is strategic communications. If I'm not doing school work you can usually find me at Busch Stadium bleeding Cardinal Red, or obsessing over my pride and joy that comes in the form of a 60 pound Border Collie. If you also love those things check out my Instagram @allisonsousan

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Eat Up: The Best Restaurants in Nashville, According to Me

Many of you are probably coming to Nashville soon for the NFL draft, or maybe CMA Fest or a bachelorette weekend or another excuse for a long-weekend getaway. No matter how you’re experiencing Music City, you must make time to eat your way through it—the food scene is absolutely on fire, and some of the best restaurants in Nashville are also the best in the country.

The restaurant scene is so dynamic, in fact, that many have closed already before I even had a chance to write them up (R.I.P. Kuchnia & Keller, I hardly knew thee, though I loved what little I saw—and tasted). It’s harder than ever to be a restaurant in Nashville and make it long-term, so kudos to those chefs who are killing it.

Looking for where to eat? Nashville has so many good restaurants, it can be hard to decide which one is your best bet. So I broke it down by occasion in hopes of solving all your Music City dining woes.



For a one-of-a-kind experience: Tailor Nashville

For years, Vivek Surti was Nashville’s most famous chef without a restaurant. He worked for the wine auction, he ran VEA Supper Club on the side, and he cooked for just about everyone around town who would ask him. He’s a phenomenal chef who fuses his Indian heritage with other South Asian cuisine for a mashup of tasty dishes unlike any other. All of Nashville rejoiced when he finally bit the bullet and opened up Tailor Nashville, a dining club-type experience in Germantown, with partner Heather Southerland at the end of last year. The eight- to 10-course menu rotates seasonally and features a snack, vegetable, fish or meat, rice dish and a dessert for $60, which does not include sales tax and gratuity. Drink pairings are an additional charge, which I highly recommend. There are only 35 seats available at 6pm and 8:30pm on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so if you’re coming from out of town, make sure you make a reservation well in advance.

For any occasion: The Farm House

I’ve professed my love for Chef Trey Cioccia’s winning combination of atmosphere and contemporary Southern fare on the blog before, but every time I go back, his ever-changing menu impresses me even more. Pork belly pop-tarts? Pimento cheese beignets? Gnudi of the day? Forget about it! Just give me one of everything, please. On top of dinner six nights a week, TFH serves lunch from Tuesday through Friday and brunch on Sunday.

For your new neighborhood hang: Hathorne

I was a huge fan of John Stephenson’s all the years he was at the helm at Fido, then I followed his food to the Family Wash (R.I.P.), so I was really excited when he debuted Hathorne on Charlotte Avenue last winter. There’s so much to love about Hathorne, from the design that incorporates pews recovered from the church next door to the plates of shaved Brussels, pork pierogis, roasted heirloom carrots and grilled acorn squash that are meant to be shared. Hathorne has a daily happy hour from 5 to 6:30pm, then a “joyful hour” from 10 to 11:30pm, staying true to its mission to bring in the neighborhood locals.

To impress an out-of-towner: Pinewood Social

If you haven’t heard of this restaurant-meets-bar-meets-swimming pool-meets karaoke joint-meets bowling alley-meets cafe, you’ve been living under a rock (or else not reading C&C … or Vogue … or Esquire … or any of the hundreds of publications that have featured it in the handful of years since Pinewood’s inception). The drinks are stellar, the food is great, and the atmosphere is on point—what more could you ask for out of a dining experience?

When you’re feeling indulgent: Biscuit Love Brunch

There’s no nicer couple in town than Karl and Sarah Worley, and it doesn’t hurt that they also have the game-changing recipe for the best biscuits in Nashville. After two years of dominating the food truck market, this dynamic duo launched their own brick-and-mortar in 2015, open seven days a week from 7am to 3pm. There’s never not a line, so you’re better off going on a weekday if you can. Just know: It’s worth every second you wait. Also know: You should order the Lily while your friend has the East Nasty, which was named as one of Bon Appetit’s favorite sandwiches in the country a couple years back. Or have your savory but order a plate of bonuts for the table. If you’re not feeling biscuits, there are plenty of other options on the menu, like the Lindstrom, a seriously decadent shaved Brussels sprouts salad. Want to feel cool? Order the “Nasty Princess” (a mash-up of the Princess and East Nasty) off-menu. Pro tip: Biscuit Love has another location in Hillsboro Village that is often less packed during peak meal times. There’s also a third outpost down in Franklin.

For Sunday Supper: City House

City House is a must-eat any night of the week but it’s especially good each Sunday night when the menu rotates to include even more creative pizza and pasta dishes (I still remember an apple, onion and chili pie I had years ago). You’ll need a reservation to get into Sunday Supper, though you can always nab a seat at the bar if you forgot to call a couple weeks in advance. Note: City House is great for small groups, but can be really loud and not ideal for a first (or second or third…) date. The belly ham pie with a cracked egg on top never goes out of style.

When you’re downtown for lunch: Liberty Common

The fist thing that will catch your eye is just how downright dreamy the interior of Liberty Common is. On my inaugural visit here, I was dining alone and working from the bar, but I couldn’t stop creeping around taking photos of the design. It’s just so damn pleasant. And it boasts murals from one of our favorite artists Tara Aversa, the visionary behind the Manchester Magnolia, too. The food itself is very Parisian bistro style, and the drinks follow form. Traditionally, Nashville didn’t have a lot of great downtown restaurants, particularly ones that cater to the business crowd, so I’m pleased as punch that Liberty Common has joined the fray.

For a stylish diner vibe: The Mockingbird

The tagline says it all: “modern dinner, global fare.” The menu at the Mockingbird is all over the place, which is precisely why I like going there. It’s the kind of restaurant you can dine at with friends who all have very different culinary preferences, whether you want a corned seitan veggie reuben and your bestie is dying for a chicken pot pie. It’s comfort food at its finest, in a very stylish space (and I love that all the food is served on mismatched plates procured from antiques stores). If you have a chance to chat with owners Brian Riggenbach and Mikey Corona, take it—they’re both a riot. And don’t leave without ordering a platter of cookies served in a birdcage.

When you’re in the mood for Italian: Nicky’s Coal Fired

I first met Tony and Caroline Galzin when they were at Fifty-First Kitchen and were instant fans. Not only are the Chicago transplants great people, but they bring a different kind of culinary pizzazz to the Nashville restaurant scene. When they opened up Nicky’s Coal Fired in the Nations a couple years back, they were one of the only restaurants in the area; now, the neighborhood is positively booming, and their seats are packed with those flocking to taste the artisan pizzas fired up in their four-ton, coal-fired oven named “Enrico.” Nicky’s also has a selection of antipasti and seafood dishes, though I usually order one of the seasonal pasta dishes to start and share a thin-crust pie or two with friends as my main. The cocktail menu is on point, and there are always a selection of spritzes from which to choose.

For a classy business affair: Etch

This downtown spot is the brainchild of culinary master Deb Paquette, who whips up inventive fare, such as an octopus and shrimp bruschetta or a cauliflower steak. Deb has led the charge on Nashville’s food evolution and now has Char and Etc. in Green Hills, as well. It’s also one of my very favorites in town—and I’m not just saying it because my college roommate is the ace pastry chef (proud friend alert)! Just ask Zagat or a number of any other ratings guides: Etch is la creme de la creme, whether for lunch or dinner. The cauliflower appetizer is a must-do anytime of day, and my regular lunch order is the creamy, oh-so-tasty Thai Chicken & Quinoa. And tasting your way through the dessert menu, created by my former roommate Megan Williams, is a must-do, so be sure and save room in your stomach!

For the best Indian street food: Chaatable

Maneet Chauhan is a ball of sassy energy, and that energy could not be more apparent than in her latest concept Chaatable, which channels an Indian street market in all its colorful glory and dreamy Indian bites with punny names like the O.M.Ghee, This Spuds For You, Puff Puff Pass and the Go Shorty. She also collected thousands of Indian bangles to build a bangle wall, which serves as the perfect greeting (and so very Maneet, too) when diners walk in. Pro tip: Don’t leave without ordering one (or three) Pani ‘Rita, the tamarind margarita that is currently one of my favorite drinks in Nashville.

To satiate your sweet tooth: Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams

Have I gotten the point across yet? I LOVE JENI’S ICE CREAM. And now that there are multiple locations in Nashville, my waistline is in immediate danger. I finally met Jeni Britton Bauer at the opening of her Hillsboro Village store—dangerously close to where I live—and had a major fangirl moment. I’ve tried about every flavor she makes, and while you can’t go wrong, the combo of salty caramel and brown butter almond brittle is always my favorite.

For breakfast/lunch/dinner any day of the week: Fido

The sweet potato waffle can’t be beat, but neither can the burger, or the coffee for that matter. Basically, all you need to know is that Fido is as good as they come, and if you find yourself hungry in Hillsboro Village no matter the time of day, you can pop in and fulfill your craving, no matter what that may be. Then head across the street to Jeni’s for dessert or next door to Hot & Cold for a Las Paletas pop, and all will be right with the world!

For the best $200 you’ve ever spent: Catbird Seat

Before I ate there, I wondered just how any meal could be worth $200 (note: that price does include pairings). Well, let’s just say, I would have paid double that for the feast we had at our inaugural Catbird experience last spring! The restaurant itself is very no-frills, which means the focus is entirely on the food and whatever the chef and his team are whipping up that night. Reservations open up exactly 30 days in advance, and as there are only two seatings of 20 people Wednesday through Sunday, you better get on that if you want to indulge in this sinful experience.

For your green juice fix: Juice Bar

Like every other city in America, Nashville has experienced a boom in juice spots. I do several juice cleanses a year and have yet to find one I like as much as the Juice Bar, which now has multiple locations in Nashville and Williamson County. My go-to location is the Germantown one, as street parking is easy during the day. I also frequent the Juice Bar in Berry Hill, but often there’s nowhere to park (#NashvilleProblems).

For a menu you’ll have to Google: Rolf & Daughters

You won’t understand half the ingredients on the menu, but that’s half the fun. People bemoan the service (or lack thereof) at Rolf—it’s a hipster hangout first and foremost—so know before you go. But that’s never deterred me from heading to RAD when the urge strikes. And if it’s a nice evening, arrive early and claim a spot on the patio, which is first-come, first-served.

For a community experience: Josephine

This 12South hotspot debuted at the tail end of 2013 to much excitement, but its 10-course X|X: Josephine experience is a reason to go back every month or so. Each Friday and Saturday night at 8pm, 10 lucky diners take the table as they are served a steady stream of 10 dishes on a long 2-by-10 wooden board, each  presented by theme (e.g., snacks, asparagus, spring, pretzel, morel mushroom, scallop, pork belly). Better yet, the meal is just $90 with an optional $55 for six beverage pairings, an absolute steal for as much food and drink as that gets you. Just be sure and make reservations, as with just 10 spots at the table, they go quickly! I’m also a huge fan of Josephine’s brunch, and it’s one of my top three most visited weekend spots in Nashville.

For bad-ass BBQ and bushwhackers: Edley’s

BBQ purists may call it too trendy, but I don’t care. I LOVE this BBQ joint that now boasts three locations locally, one in Chattanooga and one in Kentucky. The Tuck forever gets my order, and even though I nearly died from bushwhacker consumption a few years ago (don’t ask), I can’t stay away. Love nachos? Can’t go wrong with BBQ nachos, topped with a heaping pile of pulled pork.

When you’re looking to eat on Braodway: Acme Feed & Seed

The walk-up counter on Acme’s ground floor is always a safe option if you’re out on Broadway midday or into the evening and looking to grab a quick bite among a sea of trashy country music star-backed options (though I do like the food at Whiskey Row if we’re being honest).

For a drink on the go: Bajo Sexto

A cocktail I can carry around downtown with me? Don’t mind if I do! Jonathan Waxman’s first Nashville endeavor has authentic Mexican food and delicious drinks, like the bourbon horchata, and it’s conveniently located between the Omni, the Music City Center and the Country Music Hall of Fame, so perfect for those of you staying downtown.

For all. the. meat: Martin’s BBQ

Pat Martin has become legendary in Nashville with his huge of the whole hog and his ever-expanding empire. He’s now got three locations in the Nashville area, as well as has expanded to neighboring states, too. My favorite of his many spots is the downtown outpost with its 13,000 square feet of space for dining, lounging, drinking beer and playing games with your buds.

For beer with a side of tacos: Butchertown Hall

Butchertown Hall is dangerously close to my Nashville yoga studio, and it’s open all afternoon long, something I struggle with in Nashville with weird hours and so many places closed from 2 to 5pm. So it’s become my go-to spot post-yoga when I’m getting a late lunch or drinks with friends. The street tacos are bomb, and the beer selection is mighty. The clean design and so much natural light only makes you want to camp out here for hoursi. On warmer nights, Butchertown’s lovely side patio is perfect for sipping saison after saison.

For the celebrity chef experience: Chauhan House

Every time I’m feeling indulgent and wanting all the curry, I head straight for Chauhan Ale & Masala House, Maneet Chauhan’s first of four concepts to open in Nashville. I particularly love it for lunch, a time of day when I feel like Nashville dining options aren’t abundant. The lunch items may be heavy, but man is that meat-and-three worth it (though I often oscillate between the thali and the chicken tikka masala—both are oh so good). Weekend brunch is also the prime occasion to make a ressie for Chauhan. I crave that Stop Monkeying Around always, and the What Came First, the Chicken or the Egg? is divine.

For a meal in a coffee shop: Frothy Monkey

Frothy Monkey is the coffee shop empire in Nashville, and yet people often overlook them as an option for meals, which is insane as their food is oh-so-good and runs the gamut of sandwiches, salads, soups and heartier entrees. The Nations location has become one of my lunchtime go-tos when I’m meeting a friend for coffee with a side of food. Looking to start your evening somewhere? Consider going to Frothy for Wine Down Wednesday with three pours of wine (or six beer tasters) and snacks for the bargain deal of $15.

For brunch without a wait: Saint Anejo

There’s hot chocolate French toast, there’s chicken and waffles with jalapeno syrup, and there’s a horchata French toast. I say order them all. Also a winning factor? Two-for-one cocktails every single weekend day. Done.

For old Hollywood glam: Sinema

Sinema debuted in the summer of 2014 to become one of the pricier joints in town. It’s definitely a special occasion type of place, but even if you aren’t in the mood to spend $35 in a plate, it’s worth grabbing drinks in the upstairs lounge and popping into the bathroom for a #SinemaSelfie.

For the best chocolate in town: Goo Goo Cluster

I’ve often sung the praises of Nashville’s own century-old candy company but the new chef series, in which they roll out a different Premium Goo Goo every week or two, has me stopping by the downtown shop more often than not to see what these culinary masterminds have whipped up on any given week.

For a true taste of Nashville: The Farmers’ Market

The Nashville Farmers’ Market is open every day of the week and boasts dozens of purveyors of local food and products, from Music City Crepes to Batch. It’s always bustling, and it’s always good. If you need a lunch spot that’s guaranteed to fill you up and leave you satisfy, this one’s for you, and you’ll be surrounded by actual Nashvillians who break from the office to eat here daily.

For a bit of everything rolled into one: Walk Eat Nashville

In Nashville for a short time and don’t have the chance to try it all? Book a spot with Karen-Lee Ryan’s Walk Eat Nashville, and I guarantee you will get the highlights reel in your informative and tasty, three-hour walking tour of East Nashville, SoBro or Midtown.

For pizza, pizza: Five Points Pizza

Nashville used to have hardly any pizza options, and now it’s got several. Five Points Pizza, with a location in East Nashville and one off of Charlotte is by far my favorite. You can order whole pies or from a select menu of pizza by the slice. I often get carryout from the right side of the restaurant, though if it’s not packed and you feel like a brew, settle in at a booth on the left side and enjoy the craft beer selection.

For dinner with a side of champagne: Geist

Germantown is the neighborhood in which I spend the most time, and I was happy when Geist joined the fray back in 2018. One of my favorite mixologists Freddie Schwenk heads up the bar which is set in an old 1900 blacksmith shop, and I often just order “whatever Freddie is feeling today.” I don’t drink a lot of bubbles, but even I can’t deny the attraction of the Champagne Garden, with its champs served outside in a full outdoor garden and courtyard; there’s even the option to saber a bottle if you’re feeling frisky. On the food front, Geist has a small selection of sharable veggie plates, starters (may I recommend the bacon jam and baked brie?), and entrees like salmon, scallops and cavatelli. If the key lime pie is on the menu, you must order it—it poses as a real lime, but is actually pie inside when you crack it open. A true work of art!

For dinner with a dose of history: Woolworth on 5th

The most interesting thing to be about Woolworth is not the food—though, don’t get me wrong, it’s great, too—but the fact that this historic building was the site of many sit-ins during the Civil Rights Movement, and that the owners decided to keep all of those scuff marks intact as a reminder of the turmoil this city (and the South as a whole) went through not that long ago. The Art Deco-y Woolworth on 5th is a great spot for a work lunch as it’s right downtown in Nashville’s version of a financial district, but it’s also a good spot for a pre-show dinner with TPAC right around the corner. Expect Southern fare like fried green tomatoes, fried chicken, and shrimp and grits.

For the best damn rabbit rolls in town: Black Rabbit

Rabbit rolls may seem like a weird thing to be obsessed with, but that’s likely because you haven’t been to Black Rabbit, a chic, 1920s-inspired lounge on the cusp of Printers Alley that will offer small plates, creative craft cocktails and live piano music on any night of the week. With Kathy Anderson behind the design, Black Rabbit’s ambiance is built around the old wood floors and exposed brick walls leftover from the late 1800s and utilizes velvet sofa, leather lounge chairs and plush booths for seating. The wooded chef’s island provides prime seating for those keen on studying the talents of this passionate team of chefs, who will be cooking up various canapes like butterfolds, squab rillettes, rabbit spam sliders, twice-baked patatas bravas, roasted oysters and pickled shrimp. This swanky cocktail lounge off of 2nd Avenue is a much elevated breath of fresh air for downtown with an expansive whiskey collection and a cocktail menu that reads like a tome. Don’t overlook it as a dinner spot, though; you’d be remiss to pass on Chefs Trey and Chad’s elevated fare.

For sushi and other Asian fusion: Sunda

Chef-owner Billy Dec brought his popular new Asian concept from Chicago and opened a Nashville location, as well, last summer. There aren’t a lot of places that will get me to the Gulch anymore—it’s way too hip and far too crowded for this simpleton—but Sunda will do just that. Not only is the interior large, roomy and chic, but the menu boasts dim sum, sushi, nigiri, noodle dishes, curry, ramen and so much more. It’s basically a one-stop lunch, brunch or dinner spot for all kinds of Asian fusion (and a really great sake selection to boot).

For an excuse to dine in a restaurant: Henley

From a style standpoint, Kimpton’s lobby-level restaurant Henley is one of the most polished places in town, weaving in bold art and tile patterns with an equally creative menu to follow suit. Whether you’re staying at the hotel or just looking for somewhere to eat in Midtown any meal of the day, Henley is one of your top contenders.

For the hardest weekend brunch table to land: Tavern

Call it a college bar if you will, but M Street’s Tavern has been a mainstay of mine in the seven years since we’ve been back. It’s consistently delicious, and one of the only places in Midtown open in the middle of the day, so my gal Beth and I have had many a mid-afternoon cocktail with snacks (the buffalo cauliflower has never let me down). It’s also a slam dunk for weekend brunch—if you can get a table. Avoid at all costs on a Vandy home weekend, but any other time, get there minutes before they open and grab a table (or put your name down). If you’re there promptly at 10 (or maybe just before), you should get in just fine. And the hash and the red velvet waffles with cream cheese drizzle are totally worth the wait, too.

For a bakery to die for: Dozen

Dozen is Nashville’s best-kept secret in that every local I know names it among their top lunch spots, but we rarely tell anyone else about it because it’s already packed enough as it is. But you deserve to know about Dozen because not only are the fresh bread and other baked goods mouthwateringly good, but the lunch combos—I always do the half-and-half option with a tartine and whatever grain salad they’re making that week—are some of the freshest dishes you’ll have in all of Nashville.

When you’re feeling Japanese: The Green Pheasant

If you haven’t been to Two Ten Jack, start there—but I’d venture to say I like the food at the Green Pheasant even more than I do the original izakaya and ramen joint in East Nashville. Even better that it’s based downtown and the perfect dinner spot before a night at the Symphony or a show at the amphitheater. The menu is small, but plates are very sharable. On my first visit, I went with five girlfriends, and we ordered pretty much every dish on the menu and shared them. I immediately went back the following week with SVV, because no one appreciates Japanese food more than he does. A few standouts: the spicy crab noodles, chicken wing gyoza and the broccolini. Park in the adjoining parking garage, and you can get your parking validated to make it just $5 for 2.5 hours.

For seafood in a land-locked state: Henrietta Red

Ben and Max Goldberg teamed up with their childhood friend, Chef Julia Sullivan, and her business partner, Allie Poindexter, at the helm a couple years back to open this bright spot in Germantown, an Instagrammer’s dream with its striking tile and abundance of natural light. Sullivan brings her culinary panache, honed at such notable restaurants as Blue Hill at Stone Barns and Per Se, to the kitchen, and the raw bar is laid out to be communal with an additional 70 seats in banquette- and table-style seating in the adjoining dining room. In addition to a dozen or so types of oysters, other seafood dishes like smoked mussel toast, wild striped bass and wood-roasted mackerel round out the menu. My favorite excuse to go to Henrietta Red, though, is the weekend brunch, which I’ll put up against any other in town.

For the best tacos you’ll eat, ever: Mas Tacos Por Favor

Ask an East Nashvillian old or new what their favorite restaurant is, and nine out of 10 of them will tell you: MAS TACOS. You order at a window, then your name is called out, and they move very quickly, so don’t be deterred by the line. Since these are street tacos, I recommend three to make up a full meal—and you can’t pass up on the fried avocado one—as well as a side of street corn and agua fresca. Mas Tacos totally upped its game when it added a bar, and margaritas became part of the mix, though you’ll order those at the back bar. On warm evenings, the patio is the perfect place to dine.

For brats and baseball: Von Elrod’s

One of my qualms with Nashville dining has always been that the patios aren’t big enough. Enter: Von Elrod’s with its massive outdoor space. This beer hall with a focus on German cuisine debuted a couple years ago right across from First Tennessee Park where the Nashville Sounds play, and it’s a great spot to get a brat and a pint or two before you head into the stadium for the evening. Von Elrod’s boasts 36 beers on tap with even more available by the bottle. They’ve also got weekend brunch and offer specialty classes like pretzel-making.

For vegetarians: Butcher & Bee

Let’s state this upfront: Butcher & Bee is not strictly vegetarian, and yet, I feel like it has one of the best menus for veggie-loving diners in town. It’s the kind of place you go for healthy shared plates and a mean cocktail, and you must take my word for it that ordering the whipped feta is a non-negotiable; ditto to the fire-roasted carrots. Another, more under-the-radar veg spot is Sunflower Cafe in Berry Hill.

For all things Greek: Greko Street Food

Nashville restaurant vets and first cousins Bill Darsinos (Southside Grille) and Tony Darsinos (Gondola House Pizzeria in Hermitage) joined forces to bring Greek food to East Nashville. Designed to offer an authentic Athens street food vibe, Greko will serve an array of dishes like fresh-baked pitas; lamb, chicken and pork cooked on a rotisserie over a live fire; souvlaki; and Greek fries with oregano and Myzithra cheese. All of the meats will be cooked over a live vire, and the bulk of the ingredients, such as olive oil and wines from their home region of Nemea, will be imported directly from Greece.

For a happy hour kind of dinner: Lockeland Table

Anytime I’m in East Nashville between 4 and 6pm, you can bet I’m likely kicking it at Lockeland Table with my friend Matt for the daily Community Hour, which features a selection of $5 cocktails and some snacks to share like Korean beef tacos and deviled eggs with chow chow at discounted prices.

For when you need a brunch ressie: Le Sel

French brasseries are not a dime a dozen in Nashville, so Le Sel filled a void in the market when it came to town with a European-influenced menu heavy on the oysters and plenty of wine selections to match. Le Sel offers dinner, though I’m not overly wild about French cuisine, so I prefer it for weekend brunch (if you love ratatouille, though, this is your place). Savory crepes, croque Madams and Bayonne ham Benedicts? I’ll take one of each!

For breakfast any day of the week: Marché Artisan Foods

Margot McCormack is one of Nashville’s food pioneers, and her pair of restaurants—Marché and Margot—in Five Points are always packed, no matter how buzzy their newer neighboring restaurants are. I love this European-style cafe for weekday breakfast, as it’s not too crowded (weekends are another story), and it’s really hard to find places in town that serve a full brunch menu Monday through Friday.

For that international flavor: Thai Esane

I could eat Thai food every day for the rest of my life and never grow tired of it. Unfortunately, while Nashville dining is many things, diverse it is not. Which is why Thai Esane’s 2014 opening was greeted with a collective cheer from those of us who crave Asian food at every meal.

For a swanky night out in the Gulch: Tànsuǒ

Tànsuǒ, another Maneet concept, is sandwiched between Chauhan House and Mockingbird. The darkly-lit, bi-level space is meant to reflect a Chinese night market (albeit, a very cosmopolitan one), and the menu is an exploration of contemporary Cantonese cuisine like Toishan Pork Sui Mai, Peking Duck and a spin on classic Chinese fare such as General Tso’s Chicken.

*****

The above is an exhaustive, though not completely comprehensive list of some of favorite places to eat over the years, but just know, that these are definitely not the only options. And many oldies but goodies like Cafe Coco or Miel that often fly under the radar didn’t make the list simply because I haven’t been there in eons to even know what the food is like anymore (and others like Firefly Grille and Tin Angel have recently closed, R.I.P. to them, too).

Here are a few more Nashville restaurants to check out, depending on what you’re in the mood for:

Hot chicken: Hattie B’s, Pepperfire, Bolton’s Spicy Chicken & Fish, Party Fowl, Prince’s Hot Chicken

BBQ: Jack’s Bar-B-Que, Peg Leg Porker

Burgers: Hopdoddy, Burger Up, The Pharmacy, Gabby’s, Farm Burger, Hugh Baby’s, M.L. Rose, Jack Brown’s

Pizza: Folk, Emmy Squared, DeSano, Slim & Husky’s

Steaks: Kayne Prime, Oak Steakhouse, Bourbon Steak

International: Lyra, Epice, Plaza Mariachi, King Market, Azadi International Food Market

This post was last updated April 2019.

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Eat Up: The Best Restaurants in Nashville, According to Me published first on https://medium.com/@OCEANDREAMCHARTERS

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Eat Up: The Best Restaurants in Nashville, According to Me

Many of you are probably coming to Nashville soon for the NFL draft, or maybe CMA Fest or a bachelorette weekend or another excuse for a long-weekend getaway. No matter how you’re experiencing Music City, you must make time to eat your way through it—the food scene is absolutely on fire, and some of the best restaurants in Nashville are also the best in the country.

The restaurant scene is so dynamic, in fact, that many have closed already before I even had a chance to write them up (R.I.P. Kuchnia & Keller, I hardly knew thee, though I loved what little I saw—and tasted). It’s harder than ever to be a restaurant in Nashville and make it long-term, so kudos to those chefs who are killing it.

Looking for where to eat? Nashville has so many good restaurants, it can be hard to decide which one is your best bet. So I broke it down by occasion in hopes of solving all your Music City dining woes.



For a one-of-a-kind experience: Tailor Nashville

For years, Vivek Surti was Nashville’s most famous chef without a restaurant. He worked for the wine auction, he ran VEA Supper Club on the side, and he cooked for just about everyone around town who would ask him. He’s a phenomenal chef who fuses his Indian heritage with other South Asian cuisine for a mashup of tasty dishes unlike any other. All of Nashville rejoiced when he finally bit the bullet and opened up Tailor Nashville, a dining club-type experience in Germantown, with partner Heather Southerland at the end of last year. The eight- to 10-course menu rotates seasonally and features a snack, vegetable, fish or meat, rice dish and a dessert for $60, which does not include sales tax and gratuity. Drink pairings are an additional charge, which I highly recommend. There are only 35 seats available at 6pm and 8:30pm on Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so if you’re coming from out of town, make sure you make a reservation well in advance.

For any occasion: The Farm House

I’ve professed my love for Chef Trey Cioccia’s winning combination of atmosphere and contemporary Southern fare on the blog before, but every time I go back, his ever-changing menu impresses me even more. Pork belly pop-tarts? Pimento cheese beignets? Gnudi of the day? Forget about it! Just give me one of everything, please. On top of dinner six nights a week, TFH serves lunch from Tuesday through Friday and brunch on Sunday.

For your new neighborhood hang: Hathorne

I was a huge fan of John Stephenson’s all the years he was at the helm at Fido, then I followed his food to the Family Wash (R.I.P.), so I was really excited when he debuted Hathorne on Charlotte Avenue last winter. There’s so much to love about Hathorne, from the design that incorporates pews recovered from the church next door to the plates of shaved Brussels, pork pierogis, roasted heirloom carrots and grilled acorn squash that are meant to be shared. Hathorne has a daily happy hour from 5 to 6:30pm, then a “joyful hour” from 10 to 11:30pm, staying true to its mission to bring in the neighborhood locals.

To impress an out-of-towner: Pinewood Social

If you haven’t heard of this restaurant-meets-bar-meets-swimming pool-meets karaoke joint-meets bowling alley-meets cafe, you’ve been living under a rock (or else not reading C&C … or Vogue … or Esquire … or any of the hundreds of publications that have featured it in the handful of years since Pinewood’s inception). The drinks are stellar, the food is great, and the atmosphere is on point—what more could you ask for out of a dining experience?

When you’re feeling indulgent: Biscuit Love Brunch

There’s no nicer couple in town than Karl and Sarah Worley, and it doesn’t hurt that they also have the game-changing recipe for the best biscuits in Nashville. After two years of dominating the food truck market, this dynamic duo launched their own brick-and-mortar in 2015, open seven days a week from 7am to 3pm. There’s never not a line, so you’re better off going on a weekday if you can. Just know: It’s worth every second you wait. Also know: You should order the Lily while your friend has the East Nasty, which was named as one of Bon Appetit’s favorite sandwiches in the country a couple years back. Or have your savory but order a plate of bonuts for the table. If you’re not feeling biscuits, there are plenty of other options on the menu, like the Lindstrom, a seriously decadent shaved Brussels sprouts salad. Want to feel cool? Order the “Nasty Princess” (a mash-up of the Princess and East Nasty) off-menu. Pro tip: Biscuit Love has another location in Hillsboro Village that is often less packed during peak meal times. There’s also a third outpost down in Franklin.

For Sunday Supper: City House

City House is a must-eat any night of the week but it’s especially good each Sunday night when the menu rotates to include even more creative pizza and pasta dishes (I still remember an apple, onion and chili pie I had years ago). You’ll need a reservation to get into Sunday Supper, though you can always nab a seat at the bar if you forgot to call a couple weeks in advance. Note: City House is great for small groups, but can be really loud and not ideal for a first (or second or third…) date. The belly ham pie with a cracked egg on top never goes out of style.

When you’re downtown for lunch: Liberty Common

The fist thing that will catch your eye is just how downright dreamy the interior of Liberty Common is. On my inaugural visit here, I was dining alone and working from the bar, but I couldn’t stop creeping around taking photos of the design. It’s just so damn pleasant. And it boasts murals from one of our favorite artists Tara Aversa, the visionary behind the Manchester Magnolia, too. The food itself is very Parisian bistro style, and the drinks follow form. Traditionally, Nashville didn’t have a lot of great downtown restaurants, particularly ones that cater to the business crowd, so I’m pleased as punch that Liberty Common has joined the fray.

For a stylish diner vibe: The Mockingbird

The tagline says it all: “modern dinner, global fare.” The menu at the Mockingbird is all over the place, which is precisely why I like going there. It’s the kind of restaurant you can dine at with friends who all have very different culinary preferences, whether you want a corned seitan veggie reuben and your bestie is dying for a chicken pot pie. It’s comfort food at its finest, in a very stylish space (and I love that all the food is served on mismatched plates procured from antiques stores). If you have a chance to chat with owners Brian Riggenbach and Mikey Corona, take it—they’re both a riot. And don’t leave without ordering a platter of cookies served in a birdcage.

When you’re in the mood for Italian: Nicky’s Coal Fired

I first met Tony and Caroline Galzin when they were at Fifty-First Kitchen and were instant fans. Not only are the Chicago transplants great people, but they bring a different kind of culinary pizzazz to the Nashville restaurant scene. When they opened up Nicky’s Coal Fired in the Nations a couple years back, they were one of the only restaurants in the area; now, the neighborhood is positively booming, and their seats are packed with those flocking to taste the artisan pizzas fired up in their four-ton, coal-fired oven named “Enrico.” Nicky’s also has a selection of antipasti and seafood dishes, though I usually order one of the seasonal pasta dishes to start and share a thin-crust pie or two with friends as my main. The cocktail menu is on point, and there are always a selection of spritzes from which to choose.

For a classy business affair: Etch

This downtown spot is the brainchild of culinary master Deb Paquette, who whips up inventive fare, such as an octopus and shrimp bruschetta or a cauliflower steak. Deb has led the charge on Nashville’s food evolution and now has Char and Etc. in Green Hills, as well. It’s also one of my very favorites in town—and I’m not just saying it because my college roommate is the ace pastry chef (proud friend alert)! Just ask Zagat or a number of any other ratings guides: Etch is la creme de la creme, whether for lunch or dinner. The cauliflower appetizer is a must-do anytime of day, and my regular lunch order is the creamy, oh-so-tasty Thai Chicken & Quinoa. And tasting your way through the dessert menu, created by my former roommate Megan Williams, is a must-do, so be sure and save room in your stomach!

For the best Indian street food: Chaatable

Maneet Chauhan is a ball of sassy energy, and that energy could not be more apparent than in her latest concept Chaatable, which channels an Indian street market in all its colorful glory and dreamy Indian bites with punny names like the O.M.Ghee, This Spuds For You, Puff Puff Pass and the Go Shorty. She also collected thousands of Indian bangles to build a bangle wall, which serves as the perfect greeting (and so very Maneet, too) when diners walk in. Pro tip: Don’t leave without ordering one (or three) Pani ‘Rita, the tamarind margarita that is currently one of my favorite drinks in Nashville.

To satiate your sweet tooth: Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams

Have I gotten the point across yet? I LOVE JENI’S ICE CREAM. And now that there are multiple locations in Nashville, my waistline is in immediate danger. I finally met Jeni Britton Bauer at the opening of her Hillsboro Village store—dangerously close to where I live—and had a major fangirl moment. I’ve tried about every flavor she makes, and while you can’t go wrong, the combo of salty caramel and brown butter almond brittle is always my favorite.

For breakfast/lunch/dinner any day of the week: Fido

The sweet potato waffle can’t be beat, but neither can the burger, or the coffee for that matter. Basically, all you need to know is that Fido is as good as they come, and if you find yourself hungry in Hillsboro Village no matter the time of day, you can pop in and fulfill your craving, no matter what that may be. Then head across the street to Jeni’s for dessert or next door to Hot & Cold for a Las Paletas pop, and all will be right with the world!

For the best $200 you’ve ever spent: Catbird Seat

Before I ate there, I wondered just how any meal could be worth $200 (note: that price does include pairings). Well, let’s just say, I would have paid double that for the feast we had at our inaugural Catbird experience last spring! The restaurant itself is very no-frills, which means the focus is entirely on the food and whatever the chef and his team are whipping up that night. Reservations open up exactly 30 days in advance, and as there are only two seatings of 20 people Wednesday through Sunday, you better get on that if you want to indulge in this sinful experience.

For your green juice fix: Juice Bar

Like every other city in America, Nashville has experienced a boom in juice spots. I do several juice cleanses a year and have yet to find one I like as much as the Juice Bar, which now has multiple locations in Nashville and Williamson County. My go-to location is the Germantown one, as street parking is easy during the day. I also frequent the Juice Bar in Berry Hill, but often there’s nowhere to park (#NashvilleProblems).

For a menu you’ll have to Google: Rolf & Daughters

You won’t understand half the ingredients on the menu, but that’s half the fun. People bemoan the service (or lack thereof) at Rolf—it’s a hipster hangout first and foremost—so know before you go. But that’s never deterred me from heading to RAD when the urge strikes. And if it’s a nice evening, arrive early and claim a spot on the patio, which is first-come, first-served.

For a community experience: Josephine

This 12South hotspot debuted at the tail end of 2013 to much excitement, but its new 10-course X|X: Josephine experience really helped keep it relevant. Each Friday and Saturday night at 8pm, 10 lucky diners take the table as they are served a steady stream of 10 dishes on a long 2-by-10 wooden board, each  presented by theme (e.g., snacks, asparagus, spring, pretzel, morel mushroom, scallop, pork belly). Better yet, the meal is just $90 with an optional $55 for six beverage pairings, an absolute steal for as much food and drink as that gets you. Just be sure and make reservations, as with just 10 spots at the table, they go quickly!

For bad-ass BBQ and bushwhackers: Edley’s

BBQ purists may call it too trendy, but I don’t care. I LOVE this BBQ joint that now boasts three locations locally, one in Chattanooga and one in Kentucky. The Tuck forever gets my order, and even though I nearly died from bushwhacker consumption a few years ago (don’t ask), I can’t stay away. Love nachos? Can’t go wrong with BBQ nachos, topped with a heaping pile of pulled pork.

When you’re looking to eat on Braodway: Acme Feed & Seed

The walk-up counter on Acme’s ground floor is always a safe option if you’re out on Broadway midday or into the evening and looking to grab a quick bite among a sea of trashy country music star-backed options (though I do like the food at Whiskey Row if we’re being honest).

For a drink on the go: Bajo Sexto

A cocktail I can carry around downtown with me? Don’t mind if I do! Jonathan Waxman’s first Nashville endeavor has authentic Mexican food and delicious drinks, like the bourbon horchata, and it’s conveniently located between the Omni, the Music City Center and the Country Music Hall of Fame, so perfect for those of you staying downtown.

For all. the. meat: Martin’s BBQ

Pat Martin has become legendary in Nashville with his huge of the whole hog and his ever-expanding empire. He’s now got three locations in the Nashville area, as well as has expanded to neighboring states, too. My favorite of his many spots is the downtown outpost with its 13,000 square feet of space for dining, lounging, drinking beer and playing games with your buds.

For beer with a side of tacos: Butchertown Hall

Butchertown Hall is dangerously close to my Nashville yoga studio, and it’s open all afternoon long, something I struggle with in Nashville with weird hours and so many places closed from 2 to 5pm. So it’s become my go-to spot post-yoga when I’m getting a late lunch or drinks with friends. The street tacos are bomb, and the beer selection is mighty. The clean design and so much natural light only makes you want to camp out here for hoursi. On warmer nights, Butchertown’s lovely side patio is perfect for sipping saison after saison.

For the celebrity chef experience: Chauhan House

Every time I’m feeling indulgent and wanting all the curry, I head straight for Chauhan Ale & Masala House, Maneet Chauhan’s first of four concepts to open in Nashville. I particularly love it for lunch, a time of day when I feel like Nashville dining options aren’t abundant. The lunch items may be heavy, but man is that meat-and-three worth it (though I often oscillate between the thali and the chicken tikka masala—both are oh so good). Weekend brunch is also the prime occasion to make a ressie for Chauhan. I crave that Stop Monkeying Around always, and the What Came First, the Chicken or the Egg? is divine.

For a meal in a coffee shop: Frothy Monkey

Frothy Monkey is the coffee shop empire in Nashville, and yet people often overlook them as an option for meals, which is insane as their food is oh-so-good and runs the gamut of sandwiches, salads, soups and heartier entrees. The Nations location has become one of my lunchtime go-tos when I’m meeting a friend for coffee with a side of food. Looking to start your evening somewhere? Consider going to Frothy for Wine Down Wednesday with three pours of wine (or six beer tasters) and snacks for the bargain deal of $15.

For brunch without a wait: Saint Anejo

There’s hot chocolate French toast, there’s chicken and waffles with jalapeno syrup, and there’s a horchata French toast. I say order them all. Also a winning factor? Two-for-one cocktails every single weekend day. Done.

For old Hollywood glam: Sinema

Sinema debuted in the summer of 2014 to become one of the pricier joints in town. It’s definitely a special occasion type of place, but even if you aren’t in the mood to spend $35 in a plate, it’s worth grabbing drinks in the upstairs lounge and popping into the bathroom for a #SinemaSelfie.

For the best chocolate in town: Goo Goo Cluster

I’ve often sung the praises of Nashville’s own century-old candy company but the new chef series, in which they roll out a different Premium Goo Goo every week or two, has me stopping by the downtown shop more often than not to see what these culinary masterminds have whipped up on any given week.

For a true taste of Nashville: The Farmers’ Market

The Nashville Farmers’ Market is open every day of the week and boasts dozens of purveyors of local food and products, from Music City Crepes to Batch. It’s always bustling, and it’s always good. If you need a lunch spot that’s guaranteed to fill you up and leave you satisfy, this one’s for you, and you’ll be surrounded by actual Nashvillians who break from the office to eat here daily.

For a bit of everything rolled into one: Walk Eat Nashville

In Nashville for a short time and don’t have the chance to try it all? Book a spot with Karen-Lee Ryan’s Walk Eat Nashville, and I guarantee you will get the highlights reel in your informative and tasty, three-hour walking tour of East Nashville, SoBro or Midtown.

For pizza, pizza: Five Points Pizza

Nashville used to have hardly any pizza options, and now it’s got several. Five Points Pizza, with a location in East Nashville and one off of Charlotte is by far my favorite. You can order whole pies or from a select menu of pizza by the slice. I often get carryout from the right side of the restaurant, though if it’s not packed and you feel like a brew, settle in at a booth on the left side and enjoy the craft beer selection.

For dinner with a side of champagne: Geist

Germantown is the neighborhood in which I spend the most time, and I was happy when Geist joined the fray back in 2018. One of my favorite mixologists Freddie Schwenk heads up the bar which is set in an old 1900 blacksmith shop, and I often just order “whatever Freddie is feeling today.” I don’t drink a lot of bubbles, but even I can’t deny the attraction of the Champagne Garden, with its champs served outside in a full outdoor garden and courtyard; there’s even the option to saber a bottle if you’re feeling frisky. On the food front, Geist has a small selection of sharable veggie plates, starters (may I recommend the bacon jam and baked brie?), and entrees like salmon, scallops and cavatelli. If the key lime pie is on the menu, you must order it—it poses as a real lime, but is actually pie inside when you crack it open. A true work of art!

For dinner with a dose of history: Woolworth on 5th

The most interesting thing to be about Woolworth is not the food—though, don’t get me wrong, it’s great, too—but the fact that this historic building was the site of many sit-ins during the Civil Rights Movement, and that the owners decided to keep all of those scuff marks intact as a reminder of the turmoil this city (and the South as a whole) went through not that long ago. The Art Deco-y Woolworth on 5th is a great spot for a work lunch as it’s right downtown in Nashville’s version of a financial district, but it’s also a good spot for a pre-show dinner with TPAC right around the corner. Expect Southern fare like fried green tomatoes, fried chicken, and shrimp and grits.

For the best damn rabbit rolls in town: Black Rabbit

Rabbit rolls may seem like a weird thing to be obsessed with, but that’s likely because you haven’t been to Black Rabbit, a chic, 1920s-inspired lounge on the cusp of Printers Alley that will offer small plates, creative craft cocktails and live piano music on any night of the week. With Kathy Anderson behind the design, Black Rabbit’s ambiance is built around the old wood floors and exposed brick walls leftover from the late 1800s and utilizes velvet sofa, leather lounge chairs and plush booths for seating. The wooded chef’s island provides prime seating for those keen on studying the talents of this passionate team of chefs, who will be cooking up various canapes like butterfolds, squab rillettes, rabbit spam sliders, twice-baked patatas bravas, roasted oysters and pickled shrimp. This swanky cocktail lounge off of 2nd Avenue is a much elevated breath of fresh air for downtown with an expansive whiskey collection and a cocktail menu that reads like a tome. Don’t overlook it as a dinner spot, though; you’d be remiss to pass on Chefs Trey and Chad’s elevated fare.

For sushi and other Asian fusion: Sunda

Chef-owner Billy Dec brought his popular new Asian concept from Chicago and opened a Nashville location, as well, last summer. There aren’t a lot of places that will get me to the Gulch anymore—it’s way too hip and far too crowded for this simpleton—but Sunda will do just that. Not only is the interior large, roomy and chic, but the menu boasts dim sum, sushi, nigiri, noodle dishes, curry, ramen and so much more. It’s basically a one-stop lunch, brunch or dinner spot for all kinds of Asian fusion (and a really great sake selection to boot).

For an excuse to dine in a restaurant: Henley

From a style standpoint, Kimpton’s lobby-level restaurant Henley is one of the most polished places in town, weaving in bold art and tile patterns with an equally creative menu to follow suit. Whether you’re staying at the hotel or just looking for somewhere to eat in Midtown any meal of the day, Henley is one of your top contenders.

For the hardest weekend brunch table to land: Tavern

Call it a college bar if you will, but M Street’s Tavern has been a mainstay of mine in the seven years since we’ve been back. It’s consistently delicious, and one of the only places in Midtown open in the middle of the day, so my gal Beth and I have had many a mid-afternoon cocktail with snacks (the buffalo cauliflower has never let me down). It’s also a slam dunk for weekend brunch—if you can get a table. Avoid at all costs on a Vandy home weekend, but any other time, get there minutes before they open and grab a table (or put your name down). If you’re there promptly at 10 (or maybe just before), you should get in just fine. And the hash and the red velvet waffles with cream cheese drizzle are totally worth the wait, too.

When you’re feeling Japanese: The Green Pheasant

If you haven’t been to Two Ten Jack, start there—but I’d venture to say I like the food at the Green Pheasant even more than I do the original izakaya and ramen joint in East Nashville. Even better that it’s based downtown and the perfect dinner spot before a night at the Symphony or a show at the amphitheater. The menu is small, but plates are very sharable. On my first visit, I went with five girlfriends, and we ordered pretty much every dish on the menu and shared them. I immediately went back the following week with SVV, because no one appreciates Japanese food more than he does. A few standouts: the spicy crab noodles, chicken wing gyoza and the broccolini. Park in the adjoining parking garage, and you can get your parking validated to make it just $5 for 2.5 hours.

For seafood in a land-locked state: Henrietta Red

Ben and Max Goldberg teamed up with their childhood friend, Chef Julia Sullivan, and her business partner, Allie Poindexter, at the helm a couple years back to open this bright spot in Germantown, an Instagrammer’s dream with its striking tile and abundance of natural light. Sullivan brings her culinary panache, honed at such notable restaurants as Blue Hill at Stone Barns and Per Se, to the kitchen, and the raw bar is laid out to be communal with an additional 70 seats in banquette- and table-style seating in the adjoining dining room. In addition to a dozen or so types of oysters, other seafood dishes like smoked mussel toast, wild striped bass and wood-roasted mackerel round out the menu. My favorite excuse to go to Henrietta Red, though, is the weekend brunch, which I’ll put up against any other in town.

For the best tacos you’ll eat, ever: Mas Tacos Por Favor

Ask an East Nashvillian old or new what their favorite restaurant is, and nine out of 10 of them will tell you: MAS TACOS. You order at a window, then your name is called out, and they move very quickly, so don’t be deterred by the line. Since these are street tacos, I recommend three to make up a full meal—and you can’t pass up on the fried avocado one—as well as a side of street corn and agua fresca. Mas Tacos totally upped its game when it added a bar, and margaritas became part of the mix, though you’ll order those at the back bar. On warm evenings, the patio is the perfect place to dine.

For brats and baseball: Von Elrod’s

One of my qualms with Nashville dining has always been that the patios aren’t big enough. Enter: Von Elrod’s with its massive outdoor space. This beer hall with a focus on German cuisine debuted a couple years ago right across from First Tennessee Park where the Nashville Sounds play, and it’s a great spot to get a brat and a pint or two before you head into the stadium for the evening. Von Elrod’s boasts 36 beers on tap with even more available by the bottle. They’ve also got weekend brunch and offer specialty classes like pretzel-making.

For vegetarians: Butcher & Bee

Let’s state this upfront: Butcher & Bee is not strictly vegetarian, and yet, I feel like it has one of the best menus for veggie-loving diners in town. It’s the kind of place you go for healthy shared plates and a mean cocktail, and you must take my word for it that ordering the whipped feta is a non-negotiable; ditto to the fire-roasted carrots. Another, more under-the-radar veg spot is Sunflower Cafe in Berry Hill.

For all things Greek: Greko Street Food

Nashville restaurant vets and first cousins Bill Darsinos (Southside Grille) and Tony Darsinos (Gondola House Pizzeria in Hermitage) joined forces to bring Greek food to East Nashville. Designed to offer an authentic Athens street food vibe, Greko will serve an array of dishes like fresh-baked pitas; lamb, chicken and pork cooked on a rotisserie over a live fire; souvlaki; and Greek fries with oregano and Myzithra cheese. All of the meats will be cooked over a live vire, and the bulk of the ingredients, such as olive oil and wines from their home region of Nemea, will be imported directly from Greece.

For a happy hour kind of dinner: Lockeland Table

Anytime I’m in East Nashville between 4 and 6pm, you can bet I’m likely kicking it at Lockeland Table with my friend Matt for the daily Community Hour, which features a selection of $5 cocktails and some snacks to share like Korean beef tacos and deviled eggs with chow chow at discounted prices.

For when you need a brunch ressie: Le Sel

French brasseries are not a dime a dozen in Nashville, so Le Sel filled a void in the market when it came to town with a European-influenced menu heavy on the oysters and plenty of wine selections to match. Le Sel offers dinner, though I’m not overly wild about French cuisine, so I prefer it for weekend brunch (if you love ratatouille, though, this is your place). Savory crepes, croque Madams and Bayonne ham Benedicts? I’ll take one of each!

For breakfast any day of the week: Marché Artisan Foods

Margot McCormack is one of Nashville’s food pioneers, and her pair of restaurants—Marché and Margot—in Five Points are always packed, no matter how buzzy their newer neighboring restaurants are. I love this European-style cafe for weekday breakfast, as it’s not too crowded (weekends are another story), and it’s really hard to find places in town that serve a full brunch menu Monday through Friday.

For that international flavor: Thai Esane

I could eat Thai food every day for the rest of my life and never grow tired of it. Unfortunately, while Nashville dining is many things, diverse it is not. Which is why Thai Esane’s 2014 opening was greeted with a collective cheer from those of us who crave Asian food at every meal.

For a swanky night out in the Gulch: Tànsuǒ

Tànsuǒ, another Maneet concept, is sandwiched between Chauhan House and Mockingbird. The darkly-lit, bi-level space is meant to reflect a Chinese night market (albeit, a very cosmopolitan one), and the menu is an exploration of contemporary Cantonese cuisine like Toishan Pork Sui Mai, Peking Duck and a spin on classic Chinese fare such as General Tso’s Chicken.

*****

The above is an exhaustive, though not completely comprehensive list of some of favorite places to eat over the years, but just know, that these are definitely not the only options. And many oldies but goodies like Cafe Coco or Miel that often fly under the radar didn’t make the list simply because I haven’t been there in eons to even know what the food is like anymore (and others like Firefly Grille and Tin Angel have recently closed, R.I.P. to them, too).

Here are a few more Nashville restaurants to check out, depending on what you’re in the mood for:

Hot chicken: Hattie B’s, Pepperfire, Bolton’s Spicy Chicken & Fish, Party Fowl, Prince’s Hot Chicken

BBQ: Jack’s Bar-B-Que, Peg Leg Porker

Burgers: Hopdoddy, Burger Up, The Pharmacy, Gabby’s, Farm Burger, Hugh Baby’s, M.L. Rose, Jack Brown’s

Pizza: Folk, Emmy Squared, DeSano, Slim & Husky’s

Steaks: Kayne Prime, Oak Steakhouse, Bourbon Steak

International: Lyra, Epice, Plaza Mariachi, King Market, Azadi International Food Market

This post was last updated April 2019.

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from Camels & Chocolate: Travel & Lifestyles Blog http://bit.ly/2i41ich

[secretlystephaniebrown]

Pineapples Don’t Belong on Pizza

First prompt done! @sroloc--elbisivni requested I write the Suckington Pizza Delivery Guy AU which I talked about ages ago (found here!) on encouragement of @whimsical-writer, whose birthday happens to be today! Happy Birthday Heza, hope you have a great day!

Pairings: Sucker, Suckington

Warnings: Possibly for mild sexual harassment in a workplace setting? IDK It’s Kai and Tucker hitting on Wash the pizza delivery man, I’m not entirely sure how else it was going to turn out. 

Also on Ao3

It starts, like most things in Kai’s life do, with a challenge.

“No way we can order every single item on the menu from that place before it closes,” Tucker says. He’s sitting on the couch, completely naked. Kai is so glad that she’s finally dating someone with a sensible approach to nudity.

“We’ve got like, two months,” Kai argues.

Tucker pauses, considering. “Well, no harm in trying, right?”

“And then we don’t have to cook for like, ages!” Kai grins.

“True!” He glances at the TV, where the video game match with their friends is starting up. “You joining?”

“Nah, I’ll place the order,” Kai says, and starts her hunt for her cell phone while Tucker grabs the controller and starts talking shit at Dex and their friends.

Freelancer Pizza is a weird, local place, and apparently half of the management just got arrested for like, tax fraud and/or attempted murder. But it’s open for the next six weeks still, so Kai feels relatively confident they can make their way through the menu.

She calls the number and talks with the cranky lady on the other end, ordering a large supreme with everything on it—and she means everything, because Freelancer is awesome and has all sorts of weird shit available. Kai’s always had a fondness for pineapple on pizza, and it’s cool that this place has it as an option beyond the shitty “Hawaiian” pizza that most places have.

“It’ll be there in half an hour,” the lady tells her. Kai nods cheerfully and goes in search of the beer, which they hid again yesterday cuz Tex and Church had come over to visit, and those two zero in on any alcohol that’s left in their proximity. Realizing it’s probably rude to show off her tits to a random delivery person—although really, anyone should be glad to see them, her tits are fantastic—she grabs a baggy t-shirt and a pair of pantie and puts them on.  

Tucker’s cursing out Sarge for giving away their position—why he plays with the gross old guy is beyond Kai, but whatever. Beer in hand, she passes him one and curls up next to him on the couch, playing games on her phone while they wait for the pizza to arrive.

Several matches later for Tucker, and several levels later for Kai, the doorbell rings. Kai leaps to her feet, barely remembering to grab her wallet so she can pay the guy.

She throws open the door, expecting to see their normal teenager with glasses—Church’s cousin Theta is their usual delivery guy, and the poor kid always looks at her like she’s gonna punch him, but it’s not.

Instead, the new guy is hot. Dyed-blonde hair, steely grey eyes, muscles, a jawline that Kai could use to slice the pizza… Kai is so glad Tucker’s a sensible guy about her ogling other people, because yep, Kai is ogling, and she’s not about to stop, because this guy is a regular dream boat, and she’s appreciating.

“Large supreme with everything on it and… extra pineapples?” The guy makes a face. Clearly, despite being hot, he has no taste in pizza. Well, it’s good to know he’s not too good to be true.

Kai grins, letting her eyes sweep up and down him again, because she has no shame. “That’s right,” she says, pulling out the bills. Tucker looks up, and his eyes go wide as he takes in the hot pizza guy, because her man has excellent taste.

Kai’s tempted to invite the guy in, because hello, she wants to see what he looks like under that ugly uniform, but she sees like five other pizzas in his hand, so he’s got work to do. And Sheila says Kai can’t sleep with people when they’re on the job, it gets them “fired” and things like that.

“What’s your name?” She asks, handing over the money.

He sighs, and it’s only then that Kai realizes he hasn’t even glanced at her legs, which she’s almost offended by, because her legs are great.

“Wash,” he says, taking the money. “Do you want change?

“Keep it,” she grins, and he nods briefly before leaving.

Kai takes the pizza and sits down next to Tucker again.

“We’re going to bang him,” Tucker says.

“Duh.”

Tucker grins at her, and this, this here is why she loves him, he’s gets her. She pops open a beer and they knock their cans together and start in on the pizza.

They order again the next day, this time going for the stuffed crust. Tucker gets to pick this time, so no extra pineapple, because well, he’s not perfect, but he does bring home some nice beer after work so she supposes she can forgive him.

Tucker gets to answer the door this time, and sure enough, it’s Wash the hottie again. Thank you shrinking staff, Kai thinks, grinning. Tucker’s opted to go shirtless, wearing only baggy sweatpants that hang suggestively low on his hips, and Kai approves. If they can’t go naked, there’s no reason why they can’t show off. And she likes it when Tucker shows off his abs like that.

Tucker tips generously, then invites Wash in for an extra tip. Kai can hear him sigh loudly, then close the door behind him, which Kai decides is a no for now.

“Was he looking?” She asks, because that’s really the most important question here.

“Hell yeah,” Tucker says, flexing. He pauses. “But he might have been looking at the scars,” he admits. Kai frowns. If Wash is the kind of guy who’s gonna stare at Tucker’s scars, maybe they shouldn’t bang him after all. Rude. She climbs on Tucker’s lap and starts kissing him to try to distract him from those kinds of thoughts, and when she’s done they drink the fancy beer and eat the only slightly cold pizza, and Kai is willing to consider that a successful round 2.

Tucker is willing to bet that their plan is going to work by the end of week one when Wash hasn’t gotten tired of their flirting. He doesn’t get that “exasperated, why is this my life” look that Tucker is half-waiting for. Instead, he just continues to awkwardly avoid all of it, but he’s staring more and more, as if intrigued by everything it is they do.

Kai is the one who has the idea of wearing bathrobes one day. Tucker goes to answer the door, and Tucker flirts with Wash for a good three minutes before she “comes out” to “see what’s taking so long”, and wraps her arms around his waist and kisses his neck while Wash stares.

It’s kind of fun, playing this kind of long-game seduction, but it is getting frustrating, because Wash won’t ever do more than stare and get slightly turned on. He always runs afterwards, even though they know he’s not seeing anyone, cuz Kai asked on day three. Tucker’s not quite sure what the hang up is, but whatever, it’s not like they’re in a hurry. There’s still five weeks until Freelancer closes, and they’re going to make the most of it.

And hopefully see Wash’s ass by the time they’re done, because the other day he wore skinny jeans with his uniform shirt and they’re fairly certain that it would be possible to bounce a quarter off that ass. (Tucker wants to try it once they actually get him in bed, cuz that would be fun.)

“Wait, you’re trying to seduce Wash?” Tex asks him the next day when she swings by the next day.

“You know him?” Tucker asks eagerly.

“I used to work at Freelancer, remember?” Tex says.

“Right.” Tucker had actually forgotten that—Tex has been a private chef for so long, he forgot she’d been making pizzas at a shitty local place for years when they’d first met her. “What? Is it a bad idea?”

Tex pauses, considering. Then she starts laughing. “Nah,” she says. “I think it’s just fine.”

Tucker decides to take that as implicit encouragement, and so does Kai.

“Maybe,” Tucker says thoughtfully. “Maybe he’s holding out because he’s on the clock? Doesn’t want to bang people while he’s working?”

Kai nods, considering. “But the point is to seduce the pizza guy,” she complains. “That’s how it works in porn.”

Tucker has to concede she has the point there. “I don’t know,” he says. “We’ll keep trying. If he holds out until it closes we’ll get Tex to introduce us properly.”

Kai agrees that this is an acceptable plan, and the two of them start choreographing out their next order so they can lure Wash inside.

The biggest element, they determine, is to be the last order on Wash’s list. Niner, the lady on the phone, has managed to figure out their plan, and has explained to them that Wash doesn’t have to come back to Freelancer after his last delivery of the night—so once he delivers their pizza, he’s off the clock, but it still counts, because he just delivered a pizza. It’s going to take precise timing, and a little bribery to manage to get things just so they’re the last order on the list. Tex has advice for bribing Niner—apparently, she has a weakness for the strong, good coffee beans Tucker can get from work, and fresh produce that Kai can get from the farmer’s market on her way to work, so they manage to come to an understanding with Niner.

It’s been two weeks of attempted seduction, and Kai and Tucker are pretty sure they’ve managed to work out enough of Wash’s buttons to try to hit all of them at once.

They set the stage carefully, then place the order at the last possible second. Niner laughs at them as she takes their order—one thick crust meat lovers with extra pineapple and one thin crust with sardines and anchovies, because Niner says that’s what Wash likes—and wishes them good luck before she hangs up the phone.

Now all they have to do is wait.

Wash has reached the point where he’s counting the minutes until Freelancer closes and he’s free forever. Sure, he has absolutely no idea what he’s going to do afterwards—he hasn’t had an interview with any of the places he’s applied to yet, but surely something will come along, even if he has to take York up on his offer to cook at his bar.

He pulls back in, and Niner glances up apologetically. “One last order Wash.” She grins wickedly. “From your favorite customers.”

Wash moans, pressing his forehead against the steering wheel. “Every night,” he groans. Tucker and Kai, the inhabitants of the apartment, are two of the most attractive people Wash has ever encountered, and not only that, but they flaunt it. And they somehow managed to zero in on Wash’s staring, and are determined to make fun of him for it.

Niner just laughs at him and passes him the pizza. Wash gives her the cash for it like he usually does for the last order, so he can just take their payment and go home. Wash takes a deep breath and heads towards their apartment—it’s not that far from Freelancer, or too far from his own place, which is nice, because Wash can almost guarantee he’ll need to jerk off after whatever ridiculous stunt they’re going to pull this time.

It’s Tucker—the guy—who greats him at the door this time. He’s actually wearing a shirt for once. Well, more specifically, he’s wearing a flimsy red tank top that shows off his shoulders that bears the words “ORGASM DONOR” in white lettering. He grins at Wash. “Hey!”

“Hi,” Wash says, eyes sweeping the room behind him for Kai automatically. It’s not polite to stare, after all, even if Tucker’s arms are well defined, and the tank top’s riding up, exposing just the barest hint of his stomach.

“Long day?” Tucker asks.

“Yes,” Wash says shortly.

“Bet we could make it longer,” Kai calls from the couch, and Wash’s gaze flickers over to her—she’s wearing a crop top and cut-off denim shorts that show off her thighs and stomach, and Wash feels his mouth go dry.

“This your last delivery?” Tucker asks, leaning against the doorway, which causes the shirt to ride further up. Wash swallows.

“Yes,” he manages to say, his eyes darting between the two of them.

Tucker grins at him. “Want to come in?” He asks. “Have a beer?”

“I—” Wash suddenly doesn’t think they’re teasing him. Tucker passes him the money, and Wash takes it automatically, passing him the pizza box, but Tucker leaves the door open. “Well?”

“I—” Wash feels his resolve crumpling. It’s got to be better than going back to his empty apartment; he really needs to listen to Carolina and just get a cat already. Kai stands up and walks to the fridge, bending down to fetch something, giving Wash an amazing view for a few seconds before he forces his eyes back to Tucker, not that he’s staring less at him, not with those shoulders. “Sure,” he finally says.

He finds himself sitting on their couch, a beer in one hand and a slice of pizza in the other before he can even realize what he’s doing, or register what a terrible idea this is. They’d ordered two pizzas for once, and somehow his favorite was one of them, and Wash usually avoids pizza now that he works at a pizza place, but Niner still makes really good pizza, and Wash is tired and hungry, so he finds himself eating hungrily, still trying not to stare at Kai and Tucker.

“Did you put extra pineapple on a meat-lover’s pizza?” Wash asks, scandalized.

Kai grins. “What? Don’t like it?”

“Dude, you put fish on your pizza, you don’t get to judge us,” Tucker adds.

“Pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza,” Wash says. “It’s a fruit.”

“So’s tomatoes,” Kai says, sticking her tongue out at him, and there’s sauce just at the corner of her mouth, and all Wash wants to do is reach over and brush it away (or maybe kiss it off) but he holds himself back, because that would be too much. Far, far too much.

Kai catches him looking. “Something on my face?” There’s a look in her eye he can’t place.

“I—yes. Sauce. Corner of your mouth.” He takes a large gulp of beer to try to hide the flush he can feel on his face.

Kai starts to try to clean it off, but—but she’s on the wrong side, she’s missing it, and finally Wash just reaches out and brushes it off with his thumb.

“There,” he says. Kai lowers her lashes at him, and Wash really wants to kiss her right now, but that would be so many levels of inappropriate, because she’s got a boyfriend (never mind that Wash has been fantasizing about Tucker’s shoulders this whole time) and he’s sitting right there.

“Thanks,” she says, and she leans closer. “You know,” she says. “I think you’ve got something on your face too. Riiiiight,” she moves right into Wash’s space, “there.” And then she’s kissing him, and Wash nearly falls backwards onto the couch.

She pulls back almost instantly. “Sorry,” she says. “You not into that?”

“I—Tucker—Kai—what?”

Tucker and Kai both stare at him. “You think we got your favorite pizza by accident dude?” Tucker asks, snickering. “It took like five bags of coffee to bribe that info out of Tex.”

“I mean we also got the meat lovers, cuz you know, we always need more sausage in our life,” Kai says, holding out her hand for Tucker to smack in a high-five.

“You know—wait, what?”

“We’ve been trying to seduce you for two weeks now,” Tucker says. “Did you seriously not notice?” He’s grinning at Wash, moving closer. If they weren’t making fun of Wash before, they certainly are now, Wash realizes. But not for the reasons he’d expected.

Wash goes over the entire situation in his head, and determines that the only rational response to all of this is to kiss that smirk off Tucker’s face.

Clearly