#but in a way i think its good because its a commitment and makes me actually prioritise what i want most wrt hobby stuff
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I promise I’ll make Murder Drones art but let me get this out of my system
GUYS I AM READY TO MAKE THIS MOVIE MY WHOLE PERSONALITY
Going in I was a bit weary since I did in fact watch the original on broadway, and honestly, it didnt really click for me. Don’t get me wrong I LOVED the story and characters but I just never felt emerged, either due to the theater setting or its break-neck pacing. Luckily this movie works WAY better for me, and thats mostly due to them extending the runtime of act 1 to nearly double its length. We really get to breathe and be with these characters, and surprisingly I never once felt bored it was all so well made and paced.
The biggest concern I had though was that they were going to play down the charm of the original to make it “less broadway” and appeal to broader audiences. Mostly because I watched the new Mean Girls movie be so ashamed of being a musical that it got me worried for the whole genera. Luckily they didn’t they turned the campy charm up to 11, with full group choreography and some insanely creative set designs (Dancing Through Life). Like these are the EXACT VIBES I wanted from this movie.
One of my favorite parts of this movie is actually the production. Specifically the set design and filming, where they actual made almost all of the sets irl. They planted thousands of poppies just for the opening number, they actually made Munchkinland and Shiz, it’s all real. This movie also just looks great (ignoring some lighting) like the colors were POPING OFF the screen colorful especially in the beginning of “What is This Feeling” this movie is a visual treat. They really kept CGI to a minimum (obviously the animals but whatever) in order to pay homage to its theater roots. And it looks absolutely PHENOMINAL huge props to the team on that. Secondly they filmed the singing in direct, meaning no voice overs. And that weirdly didn't sound off at all the singing quality was amazing
that reminds me Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande were SO GOOD. They ate, they slayed, they Cooked, they every-other-gen-alpha-term-of-praise-I-can-think-of. Their casting just fits the roles so well with a 110% commitment coming from both of them. Cynthia’s Elpheba might actual be my favorite interpretation of the character I’ve seen. Also the part they added with the original actresses (Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth) interacting with the new ones was maybe the most fan-service thing in this whole movie and I was here for it I gasped in the theater along with my friends.
Like I can’t overstate enough how much I ENJOYED this movie (I guess an essay long Tumblr rant will do) theres just an infectious enthusiasm and passion radiating off the screen. It really feels like a movie made with love, like everyone making this wanted to make it.
I can’t recommend enough that you go watch it if your a fan of musicals or broadway you'll have a ball with this one. 9/10.
#wicked#wicked 2024#wicked the movie#wicked elphaba#wicked glinda#wicked musical#cynthia erivo#ariana grande#movie review#movie recommendation#💚🩷#Someone please make a video analysis comparing Wicked to Mean Girls I would LOVE to see it
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Theres no words that can describe the complete alienation of having severe long covid. One infection, caused directly by political decisions to remove public measures, and i cant walk. Can't stand except on really good days which are getting rarer. Sitting is a privilege i dont always have. Cognitive work is too much of a risk to consider for the moment. I live in constant fear of going back to being utterly bed ridden in the sense that i cant even feed myself, drink water, speak, move my limbs beyong my fingers and toes. For days and days without relief.
Nothing feels real. Every gain can be lost in a literal second. And on top of this, the fear of reinfection. The very real possibility of death, given how weak a single infection has made me when I was healthy and young. The even more real possibility of a worsened state, where there are no good days. That means death, too. If i am constantly in a state where I cannot move, i am going to have to resort to euthanasia because it is not a bearable existence. I can barely tolerate it when it know it will end. Last time was 14 days and I am still so traumatized by it 2 months later nothing feels real.
And on top of that, i am being told that my life doesnt matter. Covid is not a real concern. Let it fester. Even if the stairs in my building didnt lock me in, all public spaces have become lethal to me. I cant see my friends because they cant avoid exposure when theres a wave. To love me, you must live in a horrific world where no matter how many precautions you take, no matter how much they ostracize you, you might still cause my death.
Covid is a privileged issue they say. Im not even in the room for it bc i cannot be in the room. You can move your body, youre not afraid of death, you havent lost everything that makes you *you*, but im the privileged one. I cant even emote the way i used to. If i get too excited, too happy, i cant move. I talked to countless people who cant work anymore, are losing their jobs their houses their partners their immigration permits but no. Covid doesnt matter. I dont matter. Everyone cheered when i got covid bc they got to party for new years eve. I hope it was a good party. I will never agree that it was worth my life.
For the past 2 years ive had to share classrooms with students and professors who know everything about my story, who have seen how disabled i am by long covid, who ive begged to mask. They all refuse to mask. And i have to sit there and pretend its not a cosmical level farce that theyre talking about social justice and ethics and just what good people they all are. Not to mention that most of them have revealed themselves to be zionists. I have to sit next to an iof soldier and act as if its ok that she gets to sit in this classroom, except im not even sitting in the room because cases are too high and im too weak to be there physically anyway, so im on zoom. At least i get to remove my earbuds when she speaks so i dont have to think about the atrocities she has committed.
#long covid#complete loss of faith in the future#no one cares if i live or die even among leftists#i cant even be in the room anymore to be seen#its been almost 3 years of living in the most horrific reality#this summer has been so. dehumanizing#please care. please wake up. no matter where you are.#covid#btw if youre queer and you pretend to care about aids but dont a give a shit about covid. i hate you personally 🧡 do better#ive found extraordinary resemblance between my despair and the despair of people dying during aids. we are the same.#except their community started giving a shit. when will you#also people with mecfs who had it before covid im holding your hand we're in the same boat my future is your future
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thinking about scoops steve again 🍦
The light from the TV illuminates the living room, casting your boyfriend's face in half shadow. Mtv's weekly video countdown plays in the background as you climb onto his lap.
"Just couldn't help yourself, could you?" He asks, with a sigh, while his large hands settle on your hips. Your tight, denim skirt uncomfortably bunches between you and he helps push it up higher.
"Nope," you smile.
You straddle him with ease, while he gazes up at you, slightly biting his lip with every move of your hips. The scratch of his hairy thighs against the backs of your legs causes your eyes to briefly close, unaware that you'd like that feeling. You quickly reopen them, as you want to commit everything about the boy below you to memory.
Especially the way he's looking at you with total adoration, almost as if he's in disbelief that you're here, gazing back at him with the same look in your eyes.
His hand leaves your hip to cradle your face before he pulls you in for a slow, sensual kiss. It has you both softly moaning into it, as he begins to slowly move your hips back and forth, with his other hand.
You whimper his name into another kiss, already unraveling for him.
"Yeah? Does it already feel that good?" He asks, his voice thick with lust.
You nod. "You know how I feel about your uniform... especially your shorts..." you breathe, pressing your forehead to his.
"I remember, angel," he smiles, while his thumb gently caresses your cheek. "I remember how you literally drooled over them. I almost ruined that pair because of you and your slutty mouth."
You flash a proud smile before he guides your lips back to his.
"Hottest fuckin' thing I've ever seen..." he breathily adds, between kisses. "Never had anyone be that desperate for me before..."
His words have you moaning against his lips, with your hands gripping the back of the couch, needing to stabilize yourself, as he tightens his hold on your hip.
"Want you to always feel like that," he breathes with his wet lips on your cheek.
"I will..." you reply, panting, as you shamelessly grind yourself against him.
A soft whine leaves his lips, before he kisses you again.
"As good as this feels now, imagine how much better it'll be when I'm buried so deep you can feel me here," he says, placing his hand underneath your shirt and against your skin.
"You wanna try that tonight, honey?"
He then smiles as you whimper into his kiss.
"Need you to tell me you want it," he murmurs against your lips.
You let out a tiny sigh of frustration. "I want it, I want you..."
His smile widens when he feels you press kisses to his cheek.
"...please, Stevie."
Your voice is so sweet and breathy, it makes him shudder. A smirk forms on your lips as you temporarily gain the upper hand.
"Let's go upstairs then, angel, and I'll give you everything you want," he breathes, nuzzling his nose against yours.
"You always do," you softly reply, moving your hand from the back of the couch to affectionately run your fingers through his hair.
He groans when he feels your fingernails lightly brush his scalp.
"Gotta show my girl just how much she means to me, and how lucky I am to have her," he adds, with a lovesick smile.
"How you spoil me..." you tease, as he playfully rolls his eyes.
"Surely you're not complaining..." he half whispers, his words almost muffled by your lips.
"Of course not," you quickly defend. " Its nice having an overly affectionate boyfriend."
"I'm glad you realize just how valuable that is," he replies, pulling you close again.
"I absolutely do," you smile, ghosting your lips over his before finally giving in and kissing him.
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as soon as i finished s2 of arcane i knew i wanted to hear your takes on it. any opinions as to how they handled caitlyn’s arc, vi’s story, and the development of s2? i would love to hear anything you have to say about this season!!
also - the end of this season has me scouring Ao3 for some fics to fill the void. have you had any recent one shot or fic ideas now that the show has ended? i’ve been dying for a hurt/comfort and really soft sex type of story for cait and vi. maybe something where cait is taking care of vi after the events of 206? lord knows they could both use the comfort and vi deserves to be loved and taken care of. i know you would write that beautifully.
or if you have any recs for fics along those lines? 👀
as always, thanks for your incredible work both inside and outside of fandoms! love hearing from you! <3
Omg hiii! I appreciate that you care what I think haha!
Let me preface this by saying that the criticisms I have for the writing of s2 does not take away the love I have for this show and what it's done for animation as a medium.
Now, with that said...
S2 was a mess.
I said this on twitter, but I think the writers had a lot of ambition — too much ambition — for the amount of episodes they had to wrap this story up cohesively. This AMAZING show suffered because of corporate greed and not having enough time to flesh out character arcs and plots from s1. I think it started off promising. I was really excited to see how they would handle the Zaun/Piltover conflict, Vi's journey toward healing and forgiving herself for her past mistakes, Jinx's descent and then return as a hero, as well as Caitlyn's descent and redemption arc.
Instead we got... that.
There's one word that keeps twirling around in my head: commitment.
The writers lacked commitment (and a diverse writing room) to properly handle the Piltover/Zaun conflict. S1 had such a good starting point, whereas in S2 it's like they diverged from the path and forgot the finish line existed. Sitting Sevika at a table with her oppressors who will most likely tune her out and outvote her on everything is NOT a solution. Why not a complete overhaul of the council? Make it an even split? Instead it's the same people who never gave a fuck in the first place, and Sevika, who helped get half of the population of Zaun hooked on shimmer in the first place. Like what???
They failed to commit to Caitlyn's villain/dictator era. When episode 3 happened, I was skeptical about how they would handle it. And after watching the entire season, I had every right to feel that way. They make her so unapologetic and blasé about gassing Zaunites and letting Ambessa unlawfully arrest people. That's not my Cait from season 1. Does grief change people? Absolutely! But once it settles, you should be able to look back on what you've done and feel remorseful. Cait's lack of remorse was jarring. Her inability to apologize or outwardly own up to everything she did was OOC. You know what could've been the perfect moment for that? When Jayce gathered Piltover and Zaun in that room and she was standing right across from them. Why not have Sevika or Scar call her ass out and hold her feet to the fire? Lay out the facts of what her grief looked like to the innocent people of Zaun who had nothing to do with it? That would've been the perfect time for her to say something.
They failed to commit to Jinx and her story as a whole. At its core, this show was centered around two sisters growing up impoverished and oppressed, constantly separated, but always finding their way back to each other. Jinx is such a heartbreaking character used for trauma porn. Episode 6 fucked me up so badly but I THOUGHT it would lead to something big for her character. Like her stepping into this unwilling hero role and working with Ekko to lead Zaun into a better future like the one Ekko saw in episode 7. BUT LOL NOPE. Instead she's suicidal and self harming while her sister is fucking the oppressor in a prison cell. DA FUCK?
And lastly they failed Vi's character in every possible way. From putting on the badge in the first place to not exploring the depth of her character. She's basically a passenger in s2. Has no agency. Used as a punching bag (literally). And treated as an afterthought. I'm so pissed. There should've been a lot of conflict in act 1 between her and Cait. You mean to tell me Vi, who HATES enforcers. would willingly let her situationship gas her people? Fuck no. Absolutely not. It does not make sense, narratively speaking. Her ending did not make me hopeful. Even if Jinx is alive and moving on from Vi to "break the cycle" that does nothing for Vi's character. She is without family once again, and I fear it would lead to an unhealthy codependent relationship with Cait. Like she'll never be able to voice opposing thoughts or feelings without fear of Cait leaving her AGAIN.
As for the Caitvi relationship. This is tough. On one hand, I was happy to see a lesbian s*x scene in animation for an awarded television show. But on a heavier hand, it rings hollow after everything I've said. Much like the Piltover/Zaun story, Caitvi had a good starting point in season 1. I did have my issues with it because, as a Black woman, seeing someone oppressed get with a cop does nothing for me. But I wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt because I believed the writers knew what they were doing. But I was wrong again. CaitVi is unfortunately one of the weakest points of S2. The writers did not COMMIT to their conflict. It's barely glossed over and then Caitlyn gets rewarded with s*x. And this is why I could never commit to them as a couple. At least not in canon. I liked them in s1 and the idea of what they could've been to each other in s2. And it looks like I'm going to have to find that elsewhere, unfortunately.
Overall, it all comes back to what I said in the beginning: lack of time, a diverse writing room, and corporate greed. I'm disappointed, but unfortunately not surprised. I hope the writers can learn from their mistakes moving forward.
As for fanfiction, I have actually not read any yet! So I don't have any recommendations for you. I need some for myself! I'll get back to you if I find any good ones.
Sorry for the lengthy post! I really just needed to get this all out and I feel so much better.
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actually so evil how much of hal's internal world gets obliterated with the rewriting of his relationships with jessica and martin.
#hal jordan#empyrean posting#ok going in the tags because im not actually v confident in my understanding of his character. i read all of his 80s/90s stuff but forgot#90% of it but ANYWAY.#so much of him just does not make sense with how geoff johns characterises him and his relationships with his parents particularly the#parallax stuff simply because of how much his relationship with the guardians and their apathy/'betrayal' is influenced by hal's original#relationship with his dad. like at its heart it's pretty much the same dynamic in how hal blindly trusts and sort of idolises the guardians#despite their repeated infractions in hope of... something in return just as he had with his father and the abuse he suffered at martin's#hands. that's what makes his anger at the guardians make sense when it does show itself because the relationship parallel didn't stop there.#as with martin hal gets nothing for his devotion. he gets nothing for doing everything that's asked of him and more and it ends the same way#too: with a man in the sky burning like a newborn star. and you lose so much of that nuance and intrigue behind that if you just make#jessica the 'bad one' because!!! you cheapen it!!!!#the whole idea of hal is that he has his father's face but his mother's scars#(to me). in the sense that they both reacted to martin the same way with that cognisance of who he was as a man yet inability to pull away#because... love. both the love they had for him and the conviction that he did or could love them too. and jessica arguably did eventually#but also she didnt did she? because she held onto that notion of love till the very end. the few scraps she had she ballooned outwards until#they became the whole. but hal didnt have even that and he spent his whole life chasing it & running away from wanting it at the same time#like i think there's something so interesting to the fact that he had to be convinced that flying was what he wanted to do. how much of that#was touched by his father? the fear that he was already too much like him than he could bear to be? he already had his face now he had his#dreams and longing for the sky. how much more could he have before he began repeating the cycle?#and at the end he even had his father's death. burning in the clouds. like there's so much there and that's not even touching on how it#impacts his relationships with other heroes. not just in the sense of why did kyle clark and diana get to keep their close yet complex#relationships with their moms when hal had to lose his (although yeah why did they) but also just how he lets himself come across to them.#because it's on purpose right? that he lets them think his reflection of his father is born out of unadulterated love for a man worthy of it#? he has his father's job he wears his father's jacket he smiles his father's smile. what else are they supposed to think.#and isnt that interesting!!! that this man who is so committed to being good & just can lie so casually to people he thinks of as friends!!!#can you see how that might be his mother through and through!!! in how she might have glossed over the abuse to other people and herself!!!#can you see how in spite of it all he might want to be perceived as his father that paragon of masculinity and resent that he is not!!!#do you understand how everything he loves has been poisoned!!! im thinking of that scene where he tells bruce about watching martin die &#wouldnt it have been so much more interesting through this lens. how he is both revealing & obfuscating at once. i hate the change sm
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whatever og text i had in mind for this post about ko shibasaki looking like sayama in this movie is completely cancelled on account of utsumi (this character)'s first name being kaoru and i only found this out cause i was looking up her name just to be sure when making this post
like jesus christ i legally have to make this post now
#snap chats#they literally never say her first name in the movie. i think lol LIKE WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS JUST 'NO FUCKING WAY'#i do have to be tbh and say her face /is/ a little more round than sayama's#and its absolutely predominantly because of how her bangs and wardrobe are so close to sayama's that i think she look like her#BUT I CAAAANT THE WHOLE MOVIE I WAS JUST THINKIN ABOUT SAYAMA... i miss her...#OH RIGHT THE MOVIE THOUGH noooo fuck you this movie was so good it actually made me want to write a summary for it LMAOOO#LIKE I LIKE WRITING SUMMARIES BUT IVE JUST BEEN SO LAZY ABOUT IT WITH THE PAST FEW THINGS IVE SEEN BUT GOD.#ignore the fact i finished this movie two hours ago i was too busy fiddling with a card holder kit but. ill make a post about that next--#THIS MOVIE THOUGH NOOOOO IT WAS SO GOOD //SCREAMS AND YELLS AND DESTROYS A SNOWGLOBE//#god the part where ishigami and yukawa are walking by the homeless and it just lingers on an empty spot.. LIKE I THOUGHT I WAS WACK#CAUSE I WAS LIKE 'hang on wasnt there a guy there last scene' and obviously there was since the shot lingered right#BUUUUTT WHEN IT WAS REVEALED DOWN THE LINE SHUT UPPP I LITERALLY YELLED IM SO GLAD. my roommates arent home..#on god i thought the movie was gonna end with utsumi and fukawa's convo from the beginning#and i was gonna make a gaf about how fukawa was acting irrationally because he was too in love LMAOOO#BUT THEN IT KEPT GOING AND. im so glad it did. ishigami valid tbh#id also cover up and take blame for AND ACTUALLY commit murder for a girl if she said hi to me and made me lunch while i was trying to kms#while fukawa and ishigami were talkin that first night tho i just thought of after the rain.. lol... maybe the mangaka was inspo'd by that.#anyway. this movie was great. it reminded me of sherlock but if it was directed well and actually let you solve the mystery too#CAUSE WHILE I WAS WATCHING THERE WERE POINTS WHERE I TOO WAS JUST 'hang on' AND I JUST POCKETED THE INFO FOR LATER#i kicked and screamed when ishigami was talking abut how he formats his tests LIKE I SAID 'oh you fucking slipped'#when ishigami called and told her he had a white envelope in there bitch i knew it was gonna be the stalker letter i YELLED#LIKE I LIKE HOW THE MOVIE SETS THINGS UP SO ABUNDANTLY. IT'S FUN SEEING IT FIT IN THE MOVIE LATER ON#the twist of there being two bodies was so fun tho cause at the start of the movie i was sure two murders happened the same night#so when it was played off as just one i was like Oh. Ok. im still stumped on how he snuck a body out of the apartment#but yk what one detail is like. whatever in comparison to the rest of the movie being fun to watch#god im running out of tags POINT IS. PLEAAASE watch this movie if you got two hours#ive left some minor warnings on my Watchlist doc but there's nothing. TOO extreme ??#i mean there's an aforementioned suicide attempt but aside from that it's nothing too grotesque. for an rgg fan ig#ok bye i have to ramble about the card holder i got <3
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#controversial slightly radical political take incoming#im so sorry but i cant stand the 'vote blue no matter who' crowd like yall are the reason why we are in this mess in the first place#pushing unpopular centrist genocide supporting candidates and then acting shocked that they lose and blaming liberals not voting-#when republicans would NEVER push a candidate as far left as biden and hillary are right and thats why they keep winning#and acting like committing genocide being a red line to not vote for someone is a bad thing be so fucking serious#they would vote for someone who supported the holocaust in the 40s as long as they called themselves a democrat while doing it#the fucking tactic of vote for our guy because the other guy is ~worse~ instead of giving people something to actually care about#ISNT WORKING OUT SO WELL HUH who would have thought#genuinely that is why bernie made it so far in 2016. because he made people hope that things could even start to change.#and unfortunately trump also did that for his base. and even more unfortunately. the dnc saw that and stomped it out. and then THEY lost.#fear mongering fascism to people watching protesters against genocide getting beaten by cops under the administration youre pushing#isn't exactly that convincing. sorry.#like yeah. we need the majority in the house and senate for sure. but president wise? you cant convince me there is a 'less' evil option#like how dare you even insinuate that after all that has been done in these past nine months tbh#i think its the fucking sugar coating that really pisses me off more than anything#like. you do not have to make biden out to be a good man in any way just to make trump seem like a bad one. thats already established.#youre voting for evil. either way. just accept it. there is no 'less'. trying to absolve yourself from that is what pisses me off.#and 'voting blue no matter who' is what got us all here in the first place. convincing ourselves that here is a less evil in every situatio#sorry. im done now. i just hate seeing all those guilt tripping 'well now you HAVE to vote' posts on my timeline.#politics
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#logging in just to complain about my fucked up mental issues and logging right off again lol#i thought yesterday i was really feeling good but turns out i was just totally dissociated like i genuinely was completely out of it lol#its kinda creepy. like zero thoughts head empty but not in a good way. i hate when this happens cause i dont really know what to think of it#anyway. guess who's suicidal again lol&lmao#only now i feel like an idiot because ive been feeling like this for what like. 10 years now? and i still havent done it#which just makes me look like a bitch. i should either commit or just shut up about it.#unironically one of the most important things stopping me from doing it is the fact that my flat's in a constant fucking mess.#and id hate for smn to have to tidy all this shit up. that would just be such a mean and inconsiderate thing to do to leave it all like that#anyway.
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what I like about 7s is you can tell when they are fuckboys unless you have a room temperature IQ. maybe it is a natural talent that only I have (I really doubt this but I dont wanna insult ppl who've been victimized by 7 fuckboys). however it is just so obvious to me when a 7 dude is a fuckboy trying to taste all his options vs. when he is ripe and ready for commitment. the way that 7s show you bluntly when they are bored with you by ignoring you or only responding with one liners is actually a good thing. I find 7s to be very transparent, very obvious about what they want from you even if they don't directly communicate it with words. they are not capable of leading me on because they never give me the impression that they think I'm special in the first place. they never immerse themselves in my world and make me feel special because they're too preoccupied with their own.
meanwhile other types of men cough cough withdrawns are confusing as hell to the point it feels like manipulation and deception. they can larp like they are all innocent when they are the world's biggest fuckboys. they become deeply connected to you as a friend, they show you that they have a crush on you that they are too scared to act on, and they act like they're ready for exclusivity to get you into bed when often they are not. with words and with showing a genuine interest in your world, they make you think you are extremely special to them, yet many of their actions (or lack thereof) imply that you are not.
no one talks about how 7s with the 1 line can grow up and develop an intense dutifulness towards relationships. the meme is that 7s struggle with commitment but in my experience it really depends on the 7 in question. relational commitment issues are a lot more complicated than "lol 7". any type can have them and its usually rooted in trauma or plain old spiritual weakness.
see my tags for more
#7s struggle with committment towards a lot of things but relationships arent necessarily one of them#i see it like its a bar#in a video game#and the 7 bar for “things you struggle to commit to” is SUPER BIG#but many 7s consume that struggle to commit on non relationship things#like their job their work ethic their dreams their good habits (they dont commit to these things)#7s also have a capacity to commit which is small#but they can develop it to be bigger over time#and many choose to spend the little capacity for commitment they do have on relationships#anyways a problem is that 7s can lack the ability to make you feel special because they dont like going too deep emotionally#ive had this problem with my bf and been like “im leaving” but then he was always like noo stay#and i was like well thats the first time anyones wanted me to stay#all these withdrawn dudes made me feel like a princess but it turned out to be shallow words & platitudes because they didnt want to persis#actions are all that really matters and this is what assertive types understand that withdrawns dont#the tradeoff is that assertives are insensitive fucktards who make you feel like theyre always thinking about something better than you#assertives literally never have time for you. even if theyre sitting inside scrolling thru phone all day. its a psychological thing#their thing is always better... more worthy of attention than your thing.#intimacy is difficult with an assertive type. regardless of what your type is#3s and 8s guilty of this as well#im sure ive made my partners in the past feel this way... like theyre unimportant and im always thinking of better things#and i make my bf feel this way sometimes too#he complains#as do I#lmao
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The mere thought of Angeal is about to make me an endangered species
#out of context this feels like an insult#but my god does he do so many things to my singylar braincell#its true i have have one brain cell and 99% is just fhinking about angeal lately#like sir are you from heaven because i am going to go insane just looking at you holy ahit#like goodness gracious he...#like just angeal by himself makes me feral#but good heavens forbid angeal smiling?!1?!1?1?1!?1#thats just asking for a second big bang to form in just my brain like ohjm#oh my god i am going to put him in my mouth#hes so perfect my meow meow my babygirl my cutie lil scroogly#he makes me feel so many emotions#including lust which i wanted to mention because its such a funny word like idk why#like its pretty in a way but also just like me when i am lusting#me when angeal or smth#but anyways im going to commit crimes for this man i dont even know if its funny or not#like i am going to combust like a stack of minecraft tnt all scattered all over a flat world like oh my god the things id let him do to me#i dont even know if i cant fall asleep just thinking about him like he makes me feel so giddy#like giddy leg wiggle image fr#im gonna write a gengeal fic now#lunartalks
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🌔
#it's crazy going through pre-breakup journal entries from the summer#and seeing how miserable and crazy he was making me feel#and still how completely committed I was to not leaving him#is a big part of this grieving process anger and resentment that i didnt get to be the one to end it ?#because if either of us deserved to leave#had anything actually worth leaving for#it was me ??#this sucks and is so sad but jesus he had me thinking about going on mood stabilizers#he had me feverishly journaling for hours deconstructing all my beliefs and core values about relationships and love and nonmonogamy#and then just. oop! left me to be monogamous with someone else#he had me writing long apology letters to myself for ever getting my hopes up that i could ever deserve a good sex life with anyone#christ!!! life is so good now!! i lost so much good when i lost him but i also got to drop so much fucking pain and stress !!#life is so good now and i trust in its ability to get good in the ways it isnt quite good yet !!
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but i would give anything for just one day spent in the life i had when i was 15. it may not have been perfect but i felt like i belonged somewhere. and i didn't worry so goddamn much about the big picture
#sighhh i miss when my biggest worry was my crush liking me back#i was such a typical teenager in hindsight bc of that#it seems a lifetime ago but it was only 4 years#2 years since we broke up thats crazy. everything changed i built my own life from nothing#im a completely different person#figuratively and literally though i will not use that to excuse my past actions haha#discord was like my whole damn world my center of the universe talking to my friends on there the highlight of my day#we had plans we had goals we had all thse big ideas and things we could do in our free time#now we go days without really talking to each other#in 2020 i said 3 more years and then we meet irl now 2023 is over and i am sure i will never see you. i wouldnt want to see you#i guess adulthood caught up to all of us. okay. most of us#i am just so sentimental#things had purpose back then and i wasnt this afraid#and i loved them#and i had someone who loved me#its fucked up how you dont even realize it wont last forever until its over#i wish it had ended differently. the whole friend group.#sometimes i wish we wouldve stayed friends. but thats just hopeful thinking because in my heart i know there is no way#were too different and theyre too committed to fucking up everything they have always#it makes me sad. makes me think they truly dont feel like they deserve happiness. i am kind of that way too#but i dont complain about losing the people i push away. so thats how were different lol#and i also dont suibait my mentally ill followers every other day because of some drama that only 15 year olds care about#so in that regard thank fuck i grew up. but also. thinking of them reminds me of simpler times#when this petty shit mattered to me. it really doesnt matter to me anymore and i cant get myself to care about anything that happens online#maybe its time for me to leave the internet behind for good. i dont know what its doing for me anymore.#i dont have anything im excited about on my laptop anymore lmao i have to desperately cling for straws for things i could do#to avoid sleep and being alone with my thoughts
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Thinking abt how much I love oni's writing again... In particular, "a seed is planted" continues to be one of if not my favorite logs because despite the troubling details and implications that come with it, it's the one thing in the entirety of the decaying corpse of gravitas that genuinely leaves us with a grain of hope (a seed if you will) and makes oni as a whole a lot more bitter sweet as while earth may not have survived, the dupes did, and after their horrible origins and the shit that many of them went through, in due time they'll finally get to just live, they're free now, and even if Olivia's sleep is end of a tragedy, the world will keep moving forward with or without those who've been lost
#rat rambles#oni posting#like I guess I just rly love that oni both manages to commit to being a tragedy while also leaving a world still in motion#like Im glad that olivia didnt get a bittersweet ending and instead got a fucking miserable one#while at the same time the dupes are still left there to keep moving forward#well ok more so I like how the narrative shifts into smth quite beautiful when seen from the dupes perspectives#which is also why I like that the dupes are rarely talked abt directly in the lore logs#idk I just feel like a seed is planted wouldnt hit as hard to me if the dupes were talked abt more#its the same sort of incedental storytelling that I like abt the rest of oni's writing ig#also I just think them being a major part of the lore logs would rly take away from the greater horrors and tragedies of gravitas#like idk I think it would have been a lot more boring if a third of the logs were just jackie going so yeah I tortured dupes some more#it makes the pre end of the world world feel so much bigger while still mostly remaining within gravitas itself#enhances the feeling of glimpsing into a past world#like every now and then I think abt what oni story could have looked like and am filled with joy at what it is now#I fucking love being into fiction thats good god it feels so good to like shit thats just like actually good#it honestly makes me almost wish there wouldnt be new lore but I do think theres room for more#as in theres plenty of room to make shit up and also we need to see more of the scientists pls#as for actual quote unquote plot stuff idk just give me like one jackie and olivia college year video transcript or smth and we're good#theres other stuff that make me lose my mind but for narrative consistency I think itd be best to not touch those two too much#especially olivia I rly think she doesnt need almost any new content the only stuff Id want with her is if it expanded upon jackie#because rly jackie is the only character I think would super heavily benefit from elaboration even if I stand by her not needing much#as Ive said a billion times just smth small to show us her in a more casual setting and we're golden I think#show me that woman being genuinely happy so I can fill in the blanks as she slowly gets crushed by the consequences of her actions#shes a part of this tragedy too and god damnit I want to see the life she ruined along the way of ruining many others#I want to see a woman whos eyes once shined and then when the lights have dulled I want her to say it was worth it with no conviction#metaphorically ofc I dont actually want to see most of it because thatd go against the narrative philosophy already established#rly all this means is I wanna see jackie and olivia doing laundry together or smth#oh also I hope they specifically give otto a whole other log just to clear up my pronoun woes#idc what its abt just have them talk abt their gender offhand or smth#just mi-ma being like how do you do young man and otto is like they and mi-ma is like ah yes young they
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pro-hero!bakugou is so busy, as expected since he's a hero after all. a great one at that. he avoids relationships, because he's aware about how he cant properly manage his time. he wont go around giving hopes to people, he is a straight forward man.
but fuck, when he sees you in some movie premiere which his friend acts in, he really wants to try commit a relationship with you.
you're a journalist, he noticed from the mic you held and the logo around it. ah, you work for a big entertainment media or magazine? he's not sure. your body language shows that you're confident, he likes that.
he didn't even realize when you start talking to him.
“mr. dynamight, im (name) (last name) from vogue. can we ask you questions regarding the movie?” you asked politely.
“tch, dont make me wait too long.” he said, keeping the nonchalant act.
you gestures to your cameraman partner to get ready. once the camera is ready, you start to introduce yourself and him. he watches you with a small smirk, clearly enjoying this.
“dynamight, we hear that you're not a big fan of romcom movies, is that true? does this movie change your perspective of romcom movies?”
“yes.”
you furrowed your brows, confused.
“okay... moving on, who's the first one that comes to your mind when you hear 'queen or king of romcom'?”
“julia roberts. i think.” there's a questionable pause.
“i love her too! especially in notting hill. i watched notting hill when i was 14 and since then library date is my dream date.” you rambles, all giggly and smiley.
“have you been to one?”
“hm? im sorry?”
“the library date, i can take you. if you want to i guess.” his tone isn't exactly friendly but his reddened cheeks makes you realize that he doesn't mean it the mean way.
“id love to, y- yes— oh my god.” you stutter.
“i have to have your number then.”
since you don't carry your business card and there's only a pen, bakugou let you write your number on his arm.
“good, call you later, dollface.” within a blink he's gone.
your flabbergasted face is the only thing you could muster.
“is the camera still on?”
“its live.”
#mha x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo x reader#bnha x reader#bakugo katsuki#my hero academia#bakugou katsuki#mha#fanfic
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shout out to brown and levisons face theory
#leologisms#statements that will make sense to [glances around] zero people. other than me#like on one hand it is kinda. very funny to me that there is a serious linguistic theory that codifies 'save face' and 'lose face' as 'real#linguistic concepts. and on the other hand to me its a really good way to conceptualise of human interactions. like its a linguistic#theory but. its one that relates to conversations between people. so it can also be applied to other interactions in general#[uh oh. hes gonna start briefly explaining face theory] so theres positive face and negative face. i think the easiest way to conceptualise#of it is that positive face relates to the desire for acceptance + connection // negative face to the desire not to be imposed upon#and then there are face threatening acts (which are basically what it says on the tin) where you somehow damage either the +ve or -ve face#of either the listener or the speaker. and these can be accidental or intentional#and a lot of the time FTAs towards the self are used to make elevate the listener by comparison. or maintain the listeners face#a lot of mitigation strategies make use of FTAs toward the speaker in order to downplay the effect of a FTA toward the listener#because. politeness theory. which i wont bother explaining because its not too important i guess#anyway yeah. why was i thinking about face theory? oh yeah. because lately ive been thinking about how i speak#(again.)#saying something weird and then immediately commiting a +ve FTA against myself shows that a) im aware that ive said something#wrong and bad and b) turns the previous statement into a joke. even if i really meant it sincerely. its a painful strategy for existing as#person in the world who doesnt want to be outcast by the people surrounding them. living like this sucks. being so afraid of imposing on#other people that you avoid committing a -ve FTA against them at all costs sucks.#i dont want to keep talking about this anymore the vulnerability is getting to be too much
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cw: band au, rockstar!geto x groupie!gf, slight manipulation?, car sex, oral. a/n: geto deserves a loser gf too. gojo version nanami version
geto who has a rock band and though they’re quite small they already have a #1 fan: you.
the band is all you talk about, going to the point of making your own shirts and posters, you doodle the bands logo everywhere and, most importantly you don't miss a single concert.
by the end of it you're waiting next to the back door of the pub when the band comes out, as soon as you see suguru you call his name extending your little gift bag.
"woah for me? thanks, doll." he takes your chin and gives your glossy lips a peck that makes your heartbeat spike up and your face warm up. geto fucking suguru just kissed you!
during all that week you were on cloud nine, so distracted and giggly.
of course geto notices you, always in the front row and ready to give the band some gifts, he sees how you try to dress up as one of them before they even realize they have a visual identity.
geto likes having fangirls, if anything that’s the best sign that the band is doing well. till that point he never considered engaging to one in a more intimate level. after all, women were never a problem for him, fans or not.
the problem is when they think more of the relationship than it really is. geto has always made sure they knew that sleeping together and treating them well was not synonymous to committed relationship.
because he already is committed. to his music. so after spending the whole day trying to come up with a new song so the band may finally have a complete album to present to a record, he takes a frustrated break picking up his phone and to his dismay only finding a long message about how he hurt someone’s feelings.
“oh for fucks sake” he lets his phone fall on the couch and take his keys, this is not a good week to quit smoking.
“geto?” he hears a small voice calling him after he leaves the convenience store with a very much needed cigarette on his lips and nicotine in his system.
“oh hey” he recognizes you by name and face.
“you’re using the lighter” you point out enthusiastically, that was a limited edition you bought and gifted him.
“that’s right, you bought me this, did i say thank you?” he’s genuinely wondering, your face heats remembering the kiss.
“i-its no big deal” you brush it off, since he doesn’t seem to be in a rush you start to babble about one specific song and everything you loved about it, knowing he was the composer.
“do wanna go to my place?” he says after quietly listening to your passionate thoughts. you think steam is about to come out of your ears at how hot your face got.
geto throws away what’s left of his cigarette and takes your hand, not really waiting for a response since the heart in your eyes is pretty obvious.
“you’re so cute” he says with his face mushed into your breasts as he guides your movements on his lap. you never guessed when you came out this morning you would be riding your favorite guitarist’s dick a few hours later, if you knew you probably would’ve put a sexier lingerie. not that he would care, by the way he pushed your bottoms down all at once he probably didn’t even know what color your underwear was.
geto pulled your hair tilting your head to meet his mouth, he devoured you so intensely, so overwhelming… you came not even needing your clit to be touched, just by having him inside you and breathing into your mouth like that was enough.
for suguru it was all a power trip, when he saw you after a concert he knew it wouldn’t take you much sweet talking to get you in his car.
he quickly mumbled an excuse to meet the band at the bar later and in just a few minutes he had you bobbing your head down his cock, “just like that, gorgeous, so good” his head is thrown back as he moans softly.
and as the band grew more popular and they had to travel to other cities to perform he would always count on you to meet him at his hotel room.
“geto~” you mewl his name as he eats your pussy from behind so lewdly.
from the very first time you knew it was over for every other guy the moment he touched you. no matter what anyone said about geto, that he was using you, he would never marry you, you didn’t care. you would be his devotee as long as he wanted.
and geto got all he wanted, a pretty little thing that didn’t complain or asked too many questions and best of all: that loved his music and understood his work.
“i know, you have to practice” you kiss him one last time before gathering your clothing from the floor, the hints of him not wanting to stay over were all memorized at this point, so you turn your back at him and make your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
but the usual sound of the door opening and closing never came, instead you saw him coming from behind to lace strong arms around your waist, “well maybe just tonight” he smells your hair and through the mirror he sees the tattoo bellow your belly button, just above the hem of your underwear. your prof of love: the logo of the band.
geto touches it and you giggle at the feathery feeling, like a tickle, he likes that sound. he likes you.
“i was thinking you should get another, right here” a finger caress your right ass cheek.
“the same one?” you ask confused.
“no, silly, something else” he gets down hands caressing your hips and kissing the extension of your butt, “my name.”
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