#but imo it might have been more effective to have the less positive sides of himself challenged | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lotusloveslotus · 1 year ago

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as someone who's not Jerma-sized and has been streaming primarily full-time for almost five years I gotta dispute this and add some additional information — especially because I used to preach it constantly (more on that later)

it's true that for the majority of Twitch's life cycle ad revenue has meant nothing unless you have hundreds or even thousands of viewers. that's because the ad share across creators was a fixed rate per 1,000 views. although it was a fixed rate, it naturally varied throughout the year, as ad providers generally spend more money at some times of year (like Christmas) than others. but, a pretty massive change was made for all earning creators in August of 2022 with the Ads Incentive Program, which OP alluded to. it was an okay option at launch but has since been improved to the current version, which is basically:

if a streamer runs 3 minutes of ads every 60 minutes (1 hour), their revenue share on ads goes from the fixed rate per 1,000 views to 55% on all ads watched on their channel, less fees. additionally, keeping up the 3/60 ratio of ads removes all pre-roll ads on the stream for an hour. so, if you keep at this pace, you never get pre-roll ads again

here are some real-life numbers, directly from me: I am statistically a much, much larger than average streamer, but I am not a big streamer by any means. despite streaming for a long time, trying hard, and imo putting on some pretty good shows, I cap out at around 20 average viewers, more often sitting in the 13-15 range. on good days, like when I'm doing charity streams as part of a big team, I can easily eclipse that and hit 30-40. there has never been a time where my stream could pay more than a small fraction of rent in any city; I might be able to afford groceries for just me. that gets worse when you consider the amount I have had and still have to spend on video games and equipment. I'm extremely lucky that I've never needed my stream to cover these expenses, and I stream primarily because I love to. based on every conversation I've ever had with my fellow creators, stream team members, and random data I see on occasion, I understand my earnings to be pretty average — even on the higher side — for someone of my size

SO it's really important to note that when the Ads Incentive Program hit in August of 2022 I hopped on board because I had just lost my job, and ads immediately grew to make up about 20% of my total earnings on Twitch for six months straight. that's not a small number. that's the difference between $160 and $200, for example

there's a huge "ymmv" sign to tack on here because I think that my community is extremely generous, and always has been because I'm a relatively niche creator. I told them I had just lost my job, explained the changes to ad revenue, and kindly asked them to leave the stream on while ads were running if they could. I set a timer so I could warn everyone a minute or two before ads started, and stop the action of whatever game I was playing accordingly. I started taking more breaks, which I'd never really been incentivized to do. the lack of pre-rolls made raids much more effective and exciting, since I didn't have to awkwardly sit around until they get let out of their ad. overall, I found the revenue increase to be worth it, and a few of the changes it brought were positive

obviously Twitch could've just... done this at any time for any reason. it didn't have to be 3/60, it could've just been a sweeping change, I don't wanna act like Twitch is being so nice here. but I do think it's a pretty positive change even for smaller streamers, if their community is willing to deal with it. which they should be, because...

it's free. that's the main one. you can go get a drink or use the restroom just like the streamer should be. you can mute the stream and play on your phone. you can listen to a song. you can stare at the wall. it's 3 minutes. personally, the majority of my regular viewers actually don't have the money to spare to give me that $1-5 tip every month (and for some of them, ever). part of the draw of sites like Twitch and YouTube is that they provide effectively limitless free entertainment for anyone with a half-decent internet connection

look, like, I'm not out of touch with reality here. I know all these companies want to make as much money as possible, I know they're chasing the number going up forever and ever and ever. I know. but there's a reason the internet is famously free, and it's in large part because of ads. you either pay for a subscription or you watch ads; maybe I'm becoming a boomer at the decrepit age of 24, but to me, that seems like a pretty fair deal. I have an ad blocker and an automatic cookie deleter and all that, but I disable them when visiting smaller websites and streamers, especially if I know they're part of the Ads Incentive Program. now I know from firsthand experience that it adds up — it really, really adds up, and it's worth the mild annoyance to me to support them

that won't be true of many viewers — maybe even most of them — but personally I think that's on the viewers, not the streamers. it's an annoying system to work in because ads are annoying, but I genuinely hate that this is where we are. there's a huge stigma nowadays on ads and I don't think creators should get this weird tacit shame for running them or asking people to watch them. I think it's probably true that no one would run ads if they didn't have to, but frankly I don't like that that's where we are. I'd rather live in an ecosystem where I can watch an ad for Doritos or get banners for Etsy or whatever and know that my eyeballs directly contribute to the livelihoods of my favorite people on the internet, instead of where we are, where I either have to spend quite a lot of money every month across the many creators I watch to hope they can scrape by, or they work for free, forever. I no longer find it righteous to use adblockers as I once did

I understand where OP or anyone else saying this is coming from, but I do think we need to shift our collective mindset a bit and recognize that labor and entertainment is not and should not be free, especially from small, grassroots creators — even if they're working on or with the biggest websites in the world

For the record, im pretty sure I speak for 90% of twitch streamlettes when I say: always use an ad blocker. No matter what.

Like, you’re not stealing from the creator if you do. Unless a streamer is Jerma Sized, ads will provide about five cents a month; twitch has routinely attempted to push ads with “incentive programs” that go nowhere and alienate audiences.

If you want to support a creator, find out where they can be supported- a single 5 dollar donation when you can afford it will literally do more for them than anything twitch or YouTube “provides” via ads ✅

#twitch #streamer #streaming #hm this wasn't supposed to be so long #but it's better to be thorough I suppose #besides when have I ever been concise

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distinguished-slacker · 3 years ago

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Hey do you think Yuu ‘IS’ and idiot? Cause a lot of people are saying he’s just traumatised and this and that. And I personally assume it’s an excuse to think that he’s not!? Cause generally speaking main protagonists are supposed to be clever and developed Yuu imo is still the same?

Hi!

This sounds quite similar to a topic of discussion that happened in the OnS subreddit some days ago😅

Answering your question, well, we cannot 100% know whether Yuu is an idiot or not unless we are Kagami himself. We can believe something, we might have evidence for it but in the end Kagami can go and defy our expectations so even my opinion can turn to be wrong eventually.

To be honest, I slightly agree more with those who say Yuu is traumatised. I mean, we have seen some instances where Yuu has been unexpectedly clever. For example, he easily memorised the names and surnames of the members of Narumi squad, when Crowley attacked Mitsuba, Yuu knew that Crowley was actually after him and analysed the situation from a distance, and also he immediately solved Ferid’s candle riddle like nothing in the Osaka mansion. It’s possible that Yuu has high intellectual abilities but he just didn’t have the right education (remember he doesn’t even know how to write because he lived as vampire livestock for four years) so he has less knowledge than other people his age plus when he finally got into school the boy just didn’t pay attention to the lessons.

Naturally, there is more to intelligence than knowledge; we also have ‘common sense’, which Yuu, in a lot of cases, has demonstrated to lack. I believe Yuu’s judgement is heavily clouded by his emotions; he hears what he wants to hear and he believes what he wants to believe…everything for the sake of keeping that little idyllic bubble he calls “family”. He won’t accept something that goes against it. Thus, he will gladly believe that all the times Guren has tried to hurt/use him he was actually possessed by the demon, he believes that Shinoa squad are also Mika’s family too, he believes that Guren is Mika’s family too, etc. Yuu has a very low self-esteem; he feels that if he is unneeded then his life has no value so that’s why he wants to keep everyone in his family without losing anyone. Remember that time when he started acting surprisingly mature in Nagoya arc? That was because he discovered Mika was alive. A positive emotional wellbeing lead to this. But when all that mess with Guren’s betrayal started? The opposite happened.

I read someone saying Yuu has ADHD. I’m not an expert at Pyschology but Yuu’s character displays many of the symptoms I find for ADHD such as hyperactivity, impulsiveness, being unable to stick to tasks that seem tedious (like schoolwork), hot temper, excessive talking and many other related conditions such as depression. Moreover, Yuu is technically the product of a cloning experiment designed with the goal of becoming a sacrifice, and has been killed over and over. You cannot really expect to compare his cognitive processes to that of standard person. Plus, in this life as this Yuu he has been experimented a lot as a child, including having had his memories erased over and over. Who knows how much that messed with his brain and what kind of side effects it had on the parts that control intelligence and regulate emotion. Considering that his experimentation has been resumed at 16, I wouldn’t be surprised if his personality is regressing to that of the OG Yuu clones that irked Noya so much.

Of course, I still believe that the analysis of the fans supporting the idea that Yuu is not stupid is still embellishment of the reality that Kagami wasn’t able to properly deliver the idea that Yuu is traumatised into the plot. We could have had someone who realises that there is something wrong with Yuu but Shinoa squad is oblivious to this and while Mika has been recently revealed that he actually knew how fragile Yuu is, he is too kind with him. We don’t have anyone that gives off the vibes “Yuu, this has to stop. We have to talk about you.”. We could also have had information on what those experiments do to his brain but maybe chapter 108 will dig into that(???

Furthermore, even if Kagami were to pull the ‘Yuu is actually smart’ plot twist card, I think it’s already too late. Yuu had the chance to shape up when Mika died. I don’t see anything more impactful on Yuu than Mika’s death. The only option available is if the entire Shinoa squad dies on exchange for reviving Akane and the rest as Mika foreshadowed in chapter 52. It’s equally possible and not possible; possible because Kagami loves making parallels between Cat16 and Vampire Reign (Guren squad death) and not possible because unlike Guren squad members, Shinoa, Yoichi and Kimizuki are not normal people and so too important to die.

Additionally, Yuu has been acting sus and creepy sometimes, especially recently with the case of Mika, and I know by experience as an OnS fan that the eccentric ones are the ones who hide something😅

Finally, being brutally honest, even if Kagami did well on explaining Yuu’s mental and intellectual degradation, I still wouldn’t have come to accept him as the main character. Yuu’s character would work for a secondary character but not for a protagonist. For a protagonist I need, as you said, someone clever and development in a positive direction (or negative if we talk about an intelligent anti-hero like Light or Lelouch). A protagonist needs charisma👌✨

I hope that answers your question🤧

#Wow this turned out really long #I didn’t realise I had so much to say about Yuu #Cuz I barely give any attention to his character #Anyways…#owari no seraph #seraph of the end #yuuichirou hyakuya #yūichirō hyakuya #ons asks

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skyeventide · 3 years ago

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I’m really really fascinated by your interpretation of Maedhros and I’d love to read more of it, I saw your comment on the post about earlier versions and then was super intrigued

-@outofangband

hello @outofangband ! thank you for the ask, I'm going to try putting it into words, though I'm usually much better at fanfiction to explain how I envision characterisation — and unfortunately I don't have any Maedhros fanfic other than To die in the light (which is less about him per se, and more about the ex thrall who interacts with him; but there's a good swathe of Maedhros as well). still, to explain:

essentially, what I meant with that specific comment is that I don't attribute to Maedhros any personal unwillingness to follow along the rebellion, the first kinslaying, or the Oath, certainly not at early stages. what I instead attribute to Maedhros is an aptitude for politics and a willingness to attempt diplomacy routes and handle public perceptions of facts, no matter how facts actually are.

a lot of this is, by necessity, extrapolation. the bare bones of characterisation are there in the text, but the flesh that is built on those bones varies, and can vary a lot. so mypersonal construction is informed by a few external things too. I basically just... don't really vibe with restrained good person Maedhros, cause that feels to me like the easiest route to construct a narrative that's contrasting, depending: his father's; his brothers'; sometimes other characters' (e.g. Elwing). and like, to each their own, but it's not my thing, and I'm not into singling out the good guy out of the bunch as a trope, it simply doesn't call to me.

I'll try to explain my points about early Maedhros (much as I'd love to explain my headcanons for the whole character arc, that would be so long and complicated that I give up without even trying lmao); also I'd like to add that absence of evidence is not evidence of absence but that's where both "personal construction" and "extrapolation" come into place. essentially, this is what I construct and extrapolate, and I'm not really interested in alternatives, I don't like them, or I just disagree with them. and by contrast, people may think the same of this.

firstly, not against the rebellion and the Oath: the early text in @undercat-overdog's post is to my knowledge the only existing text that gives insight with regard to the state of mind with which the Oath was taken. now the Silmarillion says "a dreadful oath", but the Silmarillion has reason to do so by virtue of hindsight. the entirety of the speech to the Noldor, fear and gloom of the moment aside, is a speech that pushes to action: it seems extremely fitting to me that the taking of the Oath itself should reasonably be something with an upwards push, taken without full acknowledgement of its lines and what they may entail when it comes to other elves. because the stated purpose of moving war to Morgoth is very clear throughout, and even though the reality of the war hasn't hit them yet, the awareness of its approach is very present — there is, imo, a readiness for fight and an acknowledgement of intent: killing a deity.

I also feel that "these leapt with laughter / their lord beside / with linked hands / there lightly took / the oath unbreakable" meshes fairly well with the Silmarillion version, where some of this is not kept but the sons still leap at Feanor's side, this time with their swords drawn. Maedhros in this is not called out as any different — in fact, Maedhros is not called out as being different during the feud either: "lies came between them" with regard to Fingon paints the rumour-spreading among the Noldorin factions as affecting them equally, just as it affects Fingolfin ("grew proud and jealous each of his rights and possessions").

the first kinslaying: again maedhros is not singled out as against it. and again, absence of evidence doesn't equal evidence of absence, however, my preferred method in reconstructing my understanding of canon through the skeleton of its textuality is at times trying to make sense of drafts and grabbing the fil rouge of their logical development. and, when there is someone called out as acting against the Noldor during the first kinslaying, that is Galadriel. Maedhros never even is named in this circumstance.

I also think that the modus operandi of the whole situation is a remarkable early calque of the second and third kinslaying. first, other options are exhausted first: the noldor go north, stop in Araman by foot, and decide the crossing of the ice is too costly, not doable, or otherwise not something they're willing to do (more: people directly blame Feanor for the bitter cold they're exposed to, before they have to cross, if they wish to reach Middle Earth); second, there is an attempt to convince Olwe and the Teleri via words; third, a passage that is textually absent from later deeds of the same sort, but which might be potentially inferred, the leader (here Feanor) sits alone brooding on his options; fourth, action. this is the same as what happens with the later kinslayings, even though the first was not meant to be a deadly undertaking in its conception (it was a theft). but, what I mean is, second kinslaying: failed first option, the battle of unnumbered tears, part 2 diplomatic attempt, the message to doriath, part 3, not textually stated, part 4, action. third kinslaying is muddier and I won't attempt to map it perfectly other than: delayed attack to the havens; diplomatic attempt via message; [not textually stated, may be incorporated in the delay]; action.

either way, my point is: whether Maedhros is outright leader or he isn't, there isn't any fundamental difference in the story beats of the kinslayings. inb4 "Feanor and Maedhros have different character traits" — yes, to an extent. and this is where the early draft from that post returns to my aid in terms of personality building: "the eldest, whose ardor / yet more eager burnt / than his father’s flame, / than Feanor’s wrath". now, I feel there's an important qualitative difference in ardour and wrath, but that line exists and the Silmarillion doesn't contradict it: the fire of life burns in Maedhros, the eagerness here mentioned does not fade from this draft to later versions. (inb4 “the circumstances don’t overlap perfectly”: yes of course they don’t. I’m not trying to argue that they do)

now, what happens when it's time to depart with the ships? Feanor takes counsel with his sons, and the decision is to take the loyalists and go to the other side with them first. what happens when Feanor tries to burn those ships? Maedhros gives his famous lines, "what ships and rowers will you spare to return, and whom shall they bear hither first". my extrapolation here is this: I think it's obvious that the burning was not supposed to happen; and I think it's obvious that the joint decision of Feanor and his sons, dare say of Feanor and his firstborn heir, was to send back a group and carry the rest of the Noldor to Middle Earth. Feanor says lmao fuck you and the rest is history. Maedhros doesn't take well to that, and here comes forth what I think actually distinguishes him as a character: the cool-headed pragmatism that will imo really come forth post-captivity, the diplomatic abilities, and weighing his options with a level-headedness that his father lacks — and I would like to posit, these options are not weighed in a particularly moral way: he appeals to Feanor about Fingon being carried first because Fingon rushed in and got involved in the kinslaying on their behalf (there may be different readings, but they don't appear to me as textually supported as this — and for the purpose of this I am making no difference between feelings of romance and friendship; the quality of the relationship is here irrelevant, the strength of it has more bearing). it isn't "Fingon because he's my friend", or "Fingon because he's a good guy", it's "Fingon because he killed for us". and after he is on this side, actually keeping the rest of their army, an army they need to effectively wage the war they said they would wage, becomes a cake walk.

also, I go back and forth on this, but: it's possible that Fingon gained his "the valiant" sobriquet before the Darkening; it isn't a given that it was gained in this instance, his Alqualonde attack. but I still feel like it's quite telling, whether the epithet is gained now or before, that it's brought up under these circumstances. the last "valiant" deed from Fingon has been saving the day during the kinslaying. whether Maedhros is saying it to convince his father or because he truly feels it's currently deserved, he's nonetheless saying it.

a last point is the envoy with which he accepts to meet with Morgoh's forces: this is very shortly after Feanor's death, and Maedhros goes in with more warriors than agreed, though it's still not enough to counter Morgoth's own breaking of the terms. Maedrhos in this demonstrates that he's willing to pursue diplomacy despite his father's own words, but he is neither blindly trusting nor a good person who's simply out of his depth: he goes prepared to be the larger armed force and brings none of his brothers with him. it's not enough, but the attempt is there.

which reads to me as an ardour and eagerness that are kept in check by pretty solid abilities to plan, and that do not, really, counter his father's wishes in any truly consistent way. yes, the ship burning, but in the long run having all the Noldor in ME was going to be a benefit; I feel he could have well patched-up the problems without giving up any crown. yes, the parleying with Morgoth, but they just lost their father and despite that the Dagor-nuin-Giliath is a victory: he's coming as the winning party and newly crowned king, and he might, perhaps, find another route to proceed.

so these are more or less the salient points of my personal reconstruction of "early Maedhros". it'd be too long to get into post-captivity and this post is already long lmao, but I hope this made sense to you? and clarified how I understand his character with that early draft included as an aspect.

*all opinions and analyses are personal and are not attempting to establish a true canon. they make sense to me; I’d argue that I try to make them as textually supported as possible with a canon so fragmented. if my readers’ here are different, go on y’all’s merry way.

#Maedhros #quenta noldorinwa #answered.#outofangband

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zeta-in-de-walls · 4 years ago

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I've seen a couple of posts about c!tommy that are saying that his arc is getting bad because he doesn't really heal and it's just more trauma. Imo, I do feel like he is learning to move on from the trauma and grow and that his arc is actually getting better, but I wanted to know your opinion on this! :D

Hey, cheers for the ask! I won’t lie, I’m a huge fan of Tommy and his arc seriously appeals to me so I totally don’t think it’s getting bad at all! Heh, this turned out long - is it clear how much I love discussing his character arc?

That said, it does run the risk of having too much suffering with not enough relief. It’s hard to see this character, who’s awesome and trying to be good and get better get continually beaten down by the narrative. It’s why Doomsday was so painful. We want to see him prevail, spreading great messages about how perseverance is worth it, that you can escape your abusers, you can heal and that there is hope for you. It’s a great and encouraging sort of story and so we don’t want excessive suffering. I don’t believe its gone too far myself, while bad things continue to happen, I don’t get the impression that its a bleak world and that Tommy won’t find happiness. It is a worry though, especially with how dark the prison visit was. And people who have less of a threshold for angsty story lines than me might already feel like its too much.

But yeah, outside of the worry of his storyline itself becoming too bleak, I never got the impression that his character arc was bad. Yes, he has lots of trauma. Yes he’s also had tons of development. They’re not mutually exclusive!

If anything, I love seeing Tommy’s development through the suffering. To compare his exile with the prison arc, you can see how much better Tommy has learned to handle things. After some time in exile, he began to see Dream as his friend and believed everyone else no longer cared about him where Tommy never let himself trust Dream for a moment during his prison stay and upon getting out was way better about opening up to people. like he sees Tubbo and Ranboo and feels like he’s been replaced but avoids lashing out about it and a day later talks to them both about his worries and Tubbo tells him he’s being ridiculous and that of course he’s not being replaced. And writes a cry for help in Puffy’s therapy office and is overjoyed when she responds offering him help and support. Even with Jack, he was so clearly wishing to avoid an argument, he hadn’t been looking to antagonise him but had wanted to see his old friend be happy to see him.

Tommy’s a character who gets hurt a lot by people he trusts and he has dark moments but its so good seeing him continue to care about things and open up to others. And its also fascinating to see the effects all the trauma has had on him, like how he’s afraid of caring about things as he fears Dream will destroy the things he loves. How he seems afraid to be himself at times, because he’s somewhat internalised the idea that people don’t like him being himself eg how afraid he was to build a tower out of his favourite blocks and how odd he acts about stealing. Him not wanting to destroy the egg because he’s afraid of being the cause of another war. How he wants to make amends with others like Techno, such as sending him a hotel invitation rather than holding a grudge once more.

Tommy has had such an interesting mixture of responses to trauma and each new traumatic incident affects him in a different way. Like his response to Henry’s death being to focus his emotions on being angry at Dream. Sam’s failure to protect him from Dream being to want to find a new warden for the prison because he can’t trust Sam to do his job anymore.

Tommy wanting to destroy the knowledge of revival because he feels no one should ever possess that sort of power. Tommy’s thoughts on power are super-interesting as he’s been a victim in a game of powerful figures and yet doesn’t really seek power for himself, rather believing that no person should have power over another. Tommy doesn’t even want to seem powerful, hiding away his resources rather than flaunting them. Tommy is one of those characters who has never been powerful in his own right - his strength having always come from drawing on others. It’s fitting therefore that he has such a fear of loneliness and others not caring about him. It’s a great strength and flaw, his longing for inclusion. And absolutely devastating how in his exile he developed such a lack of self-worth.

Tommy’s trauma has brought out some of his worse traits - the way he can lash out at others, the darker more jealous side to his clingyness, the way he can be driven by emotions and fixates on certain goals - but we’ve also seen him dealing with them in interesting ways.

I remember seeing a post saying something like, ‘Tommy has trauma instead of character development’ and I responded something along the lines of how Tommy has character development in spite of his trauma. I stand by that but also, I hate the way it implies that Tommy’s character arc is invalidated because it involves trauma. Like it’s not just angst, there’s so much to dig into, and some interesting character traits have been shown and revealed with Trauma and explored in an interesting way. Not all of it is positive - trauma is bad for a person and Tommy’s arc has made that clear. But there’s so much interesting stuff being shown that simplifying it to trauma is so reductive.

There’s trauma and suffering for sure, but that's not all it is and it fails to mention what an awesome job Tommy’s done of portraying the trauma and how it impacts his character. He doesn’t hold back on showing his character’s struggle but also makes it clear that it’s still Tommy, he’s still a funny guy who is looking for fun and has a host of problems but is far more than merely his bad experiences. It’s impacted him, but it’s far from all he is and all that motivates his character.

#replies #cheers for such an interesting ask!#tommyinnit #meta #analysis #aah is it clear how much i love his character?#its my favourite thing to analyse!#and i have so much to say #xD #no reductive takes here!#aaah watch me go on tangents about power and the struggle to reamin true to one's self

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thosearentcrimes · 1 year ago

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I think a very interesting thing about this narrative is the stuff that gets inferred into it, per what you noted about people assuming autism. For another example, a substantial portion of the people in the notes on the guy's side "points out" that the girlfriend asked the boyfriend what kind of cake he wants. However, it is not actually stated at any point in the story that she did. You might assume she did, because you might think he would only express a preference if asked to. I wouldn't assume that, because I am ultimately not inclined to be generous to him for no reason. But even if I assumed it, I probably wouldn't want to make a big rhetorical point of it the way some did.

Another thing I've seen is people say the reactions here and elsewhere would be different if the genders were reversed. Would they really? Yeah maybe some people's position would be inverted, but I don't think those people are particularly concentrated on one side over the other, and I don't think their opinions matter, like, at all. What I suspect is going to be more important here is whether the people identify more with having their clearly expressed wishes disregarded, or whether they identify more with doing something nice for someone and then having them nitpick every stupid little piece of it to death. I do also suspect that's going to be a mildly gendered distinction, of course.

As far as the specific case goes, I think it's pretty obvious both parties had numerous opportunities to deescalate and instead behaved in a manner that escalated what is obviously a very silly conflict. She could have made/served just the top half of the cake she ended up making (assuming she knew what he wanted, that is). He could have simply ate the cake. Of course, she could have ignored him eating half a slice (which just is pouting). He could have denied being disappointed to save face for both (in front of the kids). She didn't have to say she wouldn't make a cake next year (she could have simply not offered to make one the next year). He did not have to say that shit about returning the cake.

I think it's going to be a matter of opinion whether the initial aggression is making the cake differently than he specified (though look, IMO if you ask for a chocolate-covered chocolate cake and you get a chocolate-covered chocolate cake...) or whether it's getting weird about it (the way I see it even if you don't mean it that way, eating only half a slice of cake like that seems demonstrative). What really made my decision is actually the returning cake comment. Again, maybe he thought he was now only talking about the hypothetical cake next year. What he was in fact saying (what the girlfriend might have inferred and what I personally believe is absolutely reasonable to infer) is that he wanted to return the cake she had just made for him, and that in some sense he wanted his money back for the cake he was gifted. It's incredibly rude and frankly reads as a sort of dismissal of their relationship (commenting on buying the cake reframes the existing cake in transactional terms, and the relationship is effectively what he had 'paid' for the cake with). The other behavior from either side seems to me either possibly defensible or merely a bit petty and unhelpful, but this seems like a low blow, and at that point I consider her reaction pretty straightforwardly justified.

PS: People saying more communication would have helped are just applying a silly truism they saw among some psychobabble once. In fact, while perfect communication would have improved this situation, the problem could have also been prevented by communicating *less*, a much more plausible solution. Some things just aren't worth communicating!

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himboarcher · 4 years ago

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reasons i've seen folks say that grad critics hate grad:

they hate travis (in fairness, i’ve def seen some comments of people shitting on trav for the sake of shitting on trav, but it’s not super common and typically gets downvoted into oblivion on reddit.)

it's not balance / travis isn't griffin (???????)

they hate neurodivergent people (again, in fairness, i have seen a handful of comments that could come across this way! but most of the time when travis being ADHD or his NPD is brought up, it's by defenders saying that criticizing travis is ableist because he's neurodivergent or, in one particular comment, infantilizing him bc of it and literally comparing grad to putting a kid's artwork on the fridge. there were some comments early on that pointed to him being a narcissist as the reason for things people disliked about grad, but everyone seems to have realized that that's a shitty train of thought and left it behind.)

they're just toxic haters (again, there are a small handful of people like this because this is the internet, but the genuine criticism greatly outweighs their bullshit. i 100% think that the people, which is mostly just one dude who is also insufferable on reddit, who have been responding rudely to positive tweets under the episode announcements lately are out of line and need to stop. there's been an influx of that lately, presumably because people are frustrated that after over a year of grad going on, there's been no improvement to most of the major issues. that's still no excuse to be a dick to folks, though.)

vs some of the actual reasons i don't like grad:

the racism / racist tropes, and the way that they’ve straight up ignored this criticism and will likely never acknowledge it. pretty wild considering a core tenet of their brand is their willingness to acknowledge when they’ve messed up and do their best to course correct.

clumsy attempts at inclusion that are shallow and often end up being fairly offensive ("...ask me about my wheelchair," anyone?)

on a related note: i don't think that travis had bad intentions, but as an nonbinary person, it feels othering to me that travis only has enby characters give others their pronouns unprompted. i'm thinking specifically of kai here. having listened to their introduction, i don't think it's as bad or awkward as some people have said, but i can't remember travis ever having another NPC tell the PCs their pronouns, especially not a cis character. it's not a huge deal, but it's something that rubbed me the wrong way. admittedly, i don't think it would bother me so much if travis hadn't dropped the ball so much with performative inclusion in the past.

okay i'm putting the rest under a read more because even without getting into all of the problems i have with it, this got Long.

little to no player agency. player choices are ultimately meaningless and have little to no effect on the world. even when he seems to go along with a plan they come up with, it always ends with them having to go back to travis' pre-written script (see: subpoenaing the xorn, but not really because they had to go with travis' original plan of "send the xorn home through the rift".) the players repeatedly get told things about what they think or feel or what they've been doing to an unnecessary degree. fitzroy is the only one who really gets space to play and decide things for himself, and that's only because travis has decided he's the main character.

the NPCs are all too nice and willing to give the PCs anything they ask for and more, unless the PCs are trying to follow their own plan and then the NPCs are completely useless. but honestly, aside from gray, all of the NPCs are just.... nice. travis refuses to even let his antagonists be mean or cruel or even more than just slightly rude, because that'd be a bummer and we don't want that! the "twist" of gordy the lich king actually being polite and chill is not a twist at all because everyone is like that in this world. the NPCs are also wildly overpowered, but then suddenly absolutely useless when the PCs actually want their help.

too many cliffhangers that are dropped immediately at the beginning of the next episode. i feel bad for travis because so many of these cliffhangers actually set up good momentum and seemed like things were gonna get interesting, but almost every single time he just dropped them at the beginning of the next episode. like when althea showed up to interview the boys and the next episode started with travis being like "actually you went to sleep, she said she'll be back tomorrow!"

that time travis specifically said in his exposition dump that the thundermen left their horses behind because they thought the centaurs might be offended by them riding horses, only to later on rag on them for being surprised that the centaurs had horses they could ride.....

also the centaur arc in general, but i already listed racism above, so.

the way that the toxic positivity and parasocial tendencies in the mcelroy fandoms have made a large portion of the fandom take ANY criticism as a personal attack on travis and/or on themselves for enjoying something others consider bad, either morally or just quality-wise. it’s okay to admit that something you like has problematic elements or just isn’t as good as it once was. you can and should engage critically with the media you consume.

related to above: the way travis has handled genuine criticism, which is to throw public tantrums on his twitter or make weird passive aggressive tweets & ultimately ignore all the genuine criticism and advice he's been offered by claiming it's all subjective, even after he specifically asked for it and set up an email for folks to send in genuine, objective advice for him (after he threw a tantrum on twitter and replied to someone's criticism publicly, which resulted in his followers dogpiling on that person bc how dare they insult their internet best friend). while i was writing this last night, he actually announced that he’s taking a break from Twitter and acknowledged that he’s been using it as an echo chamber where he can easily get validation from folks, and honestly i’m happy for him that he’s recognized this problem and is stepping away for a while! i hope he’ll genuinely use this time to reflect on how he’s been behaving and find a more healthy way to use social media. i’m leaving this point in because i think his Twitter being such a positive echo chamber was encouraging him to do stuff like this, and him somewhat acknowledging his behavior doesn’t mean it can no longer be discussed.

rainer. extremely cool concept in theory and i was very into it until that awkward "does anyone want to ask about my wheelchair?" moment. also when travis had her use her mobility aid to RAM INTO A DOOR instead of just fucking knocking???? also all the times travis has tried to force a romantic relationship between her and fitzroy, despite fitzroy displaying no interest in her in that way. also, just to clarify: as an ace person, i don’t think this is aphobic! (and it’s kind of a stretch to call it that imo, especially since griffin never explicitly said that fitzroy's aromantic!) i just think it’s weird and awkward and a little uncomfortable for me personally, mostly because it reminds me of the times i’ve been in similar situations.

less of a problem than a lot of the other stuff and more just bad writing, but the forced emotional moments. in general, nothing in grad feels earned (why are the boys heading a war? when they have multiple actual heroes with combat experience on their side and a supposedly powerful secret organization? and the thundermen are like 21 years old max and have only had like ~10 fights in the entire campaign?) but there've been a couple times where travis has tried to force unearned emotional moments, presumably because he knows people enjoyed those with the last campaigns. but the difference is that in balance, the big emotional moments happened because they were earned. in grad, it's just travis throwing a baby pegasus at us for a few minutes and then the next time she shows up, it's supposed to be a tearful goodbye.

there are absolutely no stakes. remember when the thundermen got told that if they left, gray would kill 10 students? and then they left and came back and it turns out that what gray actually meant was, "i'll tie ten students who are mostly nameless NPCs to a tree and throw some dogs at them that you can easily stop in time, then throw a tantrum because how dare you but i'll leave before you can really do anything to hurt me lol" travis did have fitzroy's magic get taken away, but like. it didn't really do anything? also all he had to get it back was be coerced into using drugs by an authority figure and trip in the woods?

we're told that the school is weird and the hero system is corrupt, but the world of nua is still presented as more of a liberal utopia than anything? althea getting fired because of a corrupt villain is the only time we've somewhat seen corruption, but even then, she was still allowed to get (what seems to me, anyway, but admittedly i don't know for sure bc nothing about the HOG makes much sense) a fairly important job from the very people who stripped her of her hero license or whatever the fuck heroes need?

travis doesn't actually seem to understand how capitalism or bureaucracy works and just chalks up everything to "red tape." also more on the rest of the boys than him specifically, but the "let's destroy capitalism!" thing turning into just pushing some filing cabinets over................... okay.

and one last piece of extremely subjective criticism: it's just kind of.... boring. i think a lot of people, myself included, would be willing to overlook 90% of the problems with graduation if it didn't feel like such a slog to get through.

also people saying that we can't or shouldn't criticize graduation because it's "free" is absolutely absurd for several reasons. first, something being free does not make it above criticism. second, there ARE people who directly financially support the show with monthly donations. three, there's a difference between something being free and something being not for profit. podcasting is their full time job. they make their living off of money made from TAZ and MBMBAM (and probably their other shows to a lesser extent). this not a fun home game that they are graciously recording and sharing with us. it is a product they are producing that they make money off of, both from ads in the episodes and merch & books based off of these podcasts. they have marketed themselves as professionals, and both griffin and travis have been on panels where they are marketed as professional DMs and appear alongside other professional DMs (which makes it incredibly frustrating when people say that travis is just a newbie DM and we can't criticize him because of that. if he's a newbie, then he should not be taking part of panels as a professional DM where he speaks as an expert). TAZ is free in the same way that an episode of NCIS is free. i may not pay for it directly, but the creators are paid to create it and profit off of me consuming this product. so saying we should be grateful for any mcelnoise that the benevolent good boys share with us and that we're not allowed to criticize it "because it's free" is absolutely wild.

#negativity cw #i guess #anyway this is not meant to say that you cannot enjoy grad.#but i'm tired of folks on this website acting like there aren't genuine problems with it #and saying that people just dislike it bc they hate travis etc etc #taz graduation #i genuinely don't expect anyone to read this bc it's so long #but here ya go.#long post

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out-of-this-dimension · 3 years ago

Text

Hypothetically Rewriting Assault’s Story + Some General Assault Opinions

There’s a game my husband and I like to play when we watch a movie, play a game, or read a book that has a story that we don’t really enjoy or we enjoy certain parts of but not others. We look at things we’d keep and things we’d change and we build a story from there-- sort of like an AU but we don’t really go into the writing part, we just stick to theorizing and mapping a general story.

I decided to play that game with Star Fox. Not because I think Star Fox has a bad story but because sometimes I think the stories could have been handled better. Note: for the rewrite game, I only really look at story, even for video games, I don’t really look at gameplay mechanics, but I do understand those have a lot to do with story potential so I do take it in as a factor... I just don’t bother to “rewrite” the mechanics, if that makes any sense at all. Some of my list today will include boss encounters but I wouldn’t necessarily say those are mechanic-related... more like “event-related”.

I’ve mused a bit in the past about rewriting Adventures and Command and I do have plans to do a mock up of an Adventures remake eventually. However, today I was thinking about how I would go about handling an Assault re-write in particular. Much like Command and Adventures, I don’t have any beef with the core story but I do think there’s a few things that could’ve been better about Assault’s storyline-- like they had good ideas rolling but they didn’t quite refine them.

Under the cut because SUPER long.

My basic feelings on Assault are pretty positive. I think the game is generally just fun and I like that it feels like the natural progression from SF64. I liked getting to see planets we haven’t seen since the N64 era in better graphics and I liked seeing Star Wolf return. I also just thought the aparoids were neat enemies.

Generally speaking, though, when it comes to Assault, I think it suffers from the thing it tries to push the most-- the story. I think a lot of people get caught up in thinking the story is better than it is because it’s the first game since SF64 that really follows the same Star Fox vibe without retelling the Lylat Wars. Don’t get me wrong, the overall plot is great but the execution and pacing are... wonky. Certain characterizations also take a hit in some regards but no one really talks about that when Command exists. That’s something we’ll talk about later on with this post.

That being said, Assault really does have a lot good going for it. An absolute banger of a soundtrack, some great dialogue, a neat story synopsis, the introduction of cool characters like Panther and Beltino (who existed but was always off-screen), and just good levels.

So, here’s what I would add, I suppose, if I were to somehow have the ability to rewrite Assault. Originally I had this in paragraph form, but I’ve made it into more of a list under topic segments with main points bolded for your viewing pleasure. Some of these points might be considered nitpicky and while I do understand that yes, this is a game about space animals, I do hold the developers in high enough regard to make a game with a continuity that makes sense.

The Story Changes

- Reduce Pigma’s storyline in Assault. This is the biggest one for me because a bulk of the plotline feels like a giant chase to just get at Pigma and it feels like it derails from the actual plot with the aparoids. We only go to Sargasso because of Pigma. We only go to Fichina and then back to Meteo again, because of Pigma. That’s 3 levels in a 10 level game devoted to just tracking down Pigma and chasing him. While it makes the build up to fighting Pigma kind of nice, I personally feel like the plot could be reduced to 2 levels. If Assault overall was a longer game, I could see them making it 3 levels. Overall, though, in its current state, I feel like the side plot overstays its welcome and the aparoids promptly get shoved to the side in favor of “Oh no, we gotta get to Pigma!” And I get the main motive here is to show how the aparoids affect people and because of the build up, it does a good job at showing how utterly terrifying the aparoids are. But it’s still too long given the length of Assault’s story. The only alternative to this is make Assault longer, which... honestly, it should be.

- Revise the scene with Tricky. I’m obviously not well-versed in dinosaur biology but I’m pretty sure dinos didn’t grow that fast from what studying I HAVE done. And why is he suddenly king now? Did his parents die? He seems not affected by this at all? Like it’s a funny scene with him, Fox, and Krystal, but it’s odd if you really look at it. Give us, as players, more context because I’m still not even sure what happened to make Tricky suddenly the leader and... big. As a note, you’re gonna hear me gripe a lot about the Sauria level in this post.

- The Star Wolf + Peppy sacrifice is a low effort way to raise tension/stakes and then cop out. Oldest trick in the book, imo, is to act like you’re going to kill off important characters only for them to be alive miraculously. And let’s face it, as an audience we all know they aren’t going to kill those characters because it’s Nintendo and those characters are too beloved. I would’ve forgiven them for only doing this with Peppy or Star Wolf, but when you tack them both together and throw in the fact they make it seem like you’re going to have to kill General Pepper too... yeah, it’s just a bit much of the same trope over and over again. I wanted to put a note in here about how I’m fine with the Great Fox being “sacrificed” but overall, it needed to return to the series because of it’s icon status, but I think that’s more of a gripe at Command instead of Assault.

- Keep Pigma alive. This will conflict with a point I have later on about the game consistently having characters cheat death for easy drama points but with Pigma, I would’ve kept him fully alive... but maybe with some physical damage from the aparoids. I understand he’s semi-alive in Command and tbh I don’t know where I stand on that. Why keep Pigma alive, you might ask? I feel like his character has a lot more potential than being “just the greedy guy”. Like he’s got good potential future villain material for future games and... if I’m honest? I just don’t see Nintendo wanting to keep Pigma dead so why even bother killing him off? They couldn’t even commit to him being dead in Command anyways so it seems very moot.

- Bring Bill and Katt back. Assault is acts a bit like a big reunion of all of our SF64 favorites but our two favorite side characters are suspiciously missing. Wouldn’t Bill be out on the front lines fighting against Andrew in the beginning? Or maybe back in Katina? And wouldn’t Katt inevitably show up in the midst of the invasion, maybe to pointedly check in on Falco?

- Bring Andrew back for the final fight. I think Andrew being defeated early into the game is fine overall but I think bringing him back in for a reunion final fight against the aparoids would serve to really solidify that it’s really everyone vs the invading aparoid force. It would show that not only is Star Wolf willing to put aside their differences but so is basically everyone in the Lylat System in the name of survival. Imagine the Venomians and Cornerians working together against an aparoid fleet, giving Star Fox and Star Wolf time to attack the queen? I just think it’d be neat and it’d open up the potential for some fun banter mid-mission. I do understand that quite a few people consider Andrew canonically dead after Assault but personally, I feel that his defeat left his fate questionable (I’m a staunch believer that unless there’s a body, they’re probably alive, especially for Nintendo games because, again, they never like to kill people off) so him returning in Command never really bothered me.

- In general, reconsider some of the character portrayals. Unfortunately, when a series has a different studio for each game, character portrayals will inevitably have inconsistencies. While I give Namco a lot of credit for putting in oodles and oodles of detail into the game (particularly the levels), I think they failed in their portrayal of Fox, at the least, and Wolf is a considerable offender as well. While it’s obvious that Fox in Adventures was effectively modeled off of Sabre even in terms of personality, Rareware was at least able to justify Fox’s newfound jaded attitude with the passing of many years and a distinct lack of steady income, resulting in the team being in disarray. Assault’s Fox is a stark contrast to his cynical interpretation with seemingly no explanation other than maybe “Oh, I have more money and a gf, maybe I should behave myself”. As if the sudden change in personality wasn’t random, Fox also just seems very blah, like a blank slate stereotypical shooter game protagonist dude with little to no emotion. Wolf is less obvious but gets slated into a mentor-like role midway through the game and ends up in a respectful rivalry with Fox... which there’s nothing inherently wrong with that except for it happening abruptly (and, I mean, Peppy is right there). But I take less issue with this and more of an issue with the fact that there’s an entire level establishing that Wolf now runs a crime den with effectively what seems to be an army and no one bats an eye at this. He doesn’t even call on them to help with the aparoids. Did they all die when the aparoids attacked Meteo? Are they safe somewhere else? Where do they go? How was Sargasso able to operate without the CDF being on their doorstep with warrants for arrests?

- Don’t kill all the dinosaurs. A bit of a dramatic statement but the ending screen that showed all the damage to Sauria really bothered me. While I understand that the dinosaurs had less of a chance against the aparoids than a more technology-focused society like Corneria, I was a bit disappointed that the decision was made to just state that a lot of tribes had been wiped out. I know this could easily be retconned in a future game and I feel like it should be. “But why, Amalia? Why are you disappointed by that?” 1) It’s a little too grimdark for my tastes. 2) The fact it all happened off-screen felt very hand-wavy. And 3) It brings into question the entire point of Adventures. Why did we bother to save this planet if it was going to be reduced to rubble and ash 1 year later? Where were the Krazoa in all of this? Why did they not make an appearance at all to try to stop the invasion with their alleged powers? It just raises too many weird questions and I feel like Namco didn’t think it through too much. Which I mean, sure. Family, kiddo game. I’m not asking for bigbrain plot and lore but I’m squinting at this bit because it does feel very contrary to the lore from the previous game.

- Make the aparoids more relevant. As nice as it is to have a random bad guy from another galaxy, I feel like there was more that could be done with the aparoids in terms of their origins. Tiny things, mind you, not huge revelations. Off the top of my head, they could have been tied into Krystal’s backstory to help alleviate some of the complaints that she was too random to be added to the series’ main cast. Alternatively, they could have been a product of Andross or even a weapon prototype from Corneria that fled the lab (I actually thought the game was leaning in that direction for a bit then just Nothing Happened). I get that the vagueness of their origins leaves room for people to speculate and speculation is nice but... when you leave too many things unknown, it starts to feel less like giving fans room to interpret and more like just doing random things for the sake of it. I think a lore tidbit here or there would work wonders for the aparoids instead of leaving them as just borg/zerg clones.

Level-Based Changes

- Add either Aparoid RedEye or Aparoid General Scales as a boss to Sauria. Given that this level mysteriously lacks a boss, which is just weird compared to the other levels, I think that they had the opportunity to add something cool to go along with the cinematic feel they were going for with Assault. Assault’s cutscenes do play in a movie-like fashion and it’s clear they’re trying to make the game as epic as possible. It’s a shame they had so much fodder for a great boss here but they failed to go through with it. Alternatively: Add a Krazoa-Aparoid fusion. Why? Because Star Fox is about cool epic sci-fi and that would be cool epic sci-fi incarnate.

- Add a boss to the Aparoid Homeworld Level, aka the penultimate level. Another one I felt was personally weird that there was no “final defense system” to challenge the team. Would be cool to do an aerial battle over the aparoid planet with some giant flying aparoid.

- Be kinder to Sauria. The level had some good homages but overall was incredibly small and incredibly short. It felt like a bone tossed to Adventures fans but was not entirely true to the setting built by Rareware. I’m... not even sure where the Sauria level is supposed to take place? I presume it’s Walled City but it doesn’t really have the same color scheme or aesthetic? Also where is my revised Adventures music? Why do all the other levels get it but Sauria doesn’t?

- Put some of those funky items from the multiplayer into the main campaign. I don’t know why some of these things, items especially, were omitted unless it was purely due to time constraints. I remember having missile launchers and jetpacks in the multiplayer and was a bit sad that they were not in the main campaign. Retuning the levels and adding those in would be a nice breath of fresh air for the more tedious on-foot missions.

- More levels. Self-explanatory. Still sad we didn’t get the Zoness or Titania levels in the single-player mode.

I think all of the above changes would improve the game, though I recognize all of this is being said 16 years later after lots of time to contemplate Assault’s weaker points. I’m not entirely certain how long Star Fox Assault took to develop but given that there’s obviously quite a bit scrapped from the game (an entire arcade mode was scrapped as well), I’m going to assume that the studio felt pressured to shove the game out the door and into the hands of customers. It’s a shame, really, because I think a little bit longer in the oven would have done a lot of good. Still, the product we got was good in its own right and a game that many people look back on fondly. I haven’t gotten to replay it in years but I hope to quite soon.

You might wonder why I bothered typing this all out and I guess my point was this-- Assault was great but it wasn’t perfect, and while a lot of other games fall under a crushing amount of scrutiny, Assault seems to dodge it. And don’t get me wrong-- I adore Assault. But given that not many takes exist out there about rewriting it, I decided to give it a shot. For variety’s sake.

I do want to a mock up of a revised Assault story, which I think I will get to work on after completing this while all my ideas are still fresh in mind. So stay tuned for that sometime in the near future. I will also be doing my Adventures mock up at some point but probably not for a little bit as I do wanna focus some of my free time on actual fic-writing.

Anyways, if you stuck around this long, thank you for reading! Have any changes you’d like to see to Assault if you could time machine your way back to the early 2000s? Feel free to post in the comments, I’d love to read your ideas!

#star fox assault #starfox assault #super long #queue'd

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kitkatopinions · 3 years ago

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I feel the need to hear your opinion on this since this is something I've been thinking about recently, and it's how crwby handles complex relationships/abuse in their show... It's infuriating.

I can't tell if they genuinely think they are writing this in a good way or if they know they're half asss-ing it and don't care since the fandom will eat it up anyways. Two big examples that come to mind for me in the last volume are emerald & cinder and whitley & jacques. In both instances the the victim never gets a moment of closure or a moment of breaking away from their abuser, nor are either victims allowed to show any sort of 'hesitance' (for a lack of a better term) related to their abuse.

Emerald (despite being all over cinder before Midnight), just conveniently forgets about her for the finale. Same for whitley. He just completely forgets about jacques (the man who manipulated him from birth) the moment weiss hugs him. On a shallow level, watching a victim pay no mind to their abuser is satisfying, but it being so immediate is just unrealistic and takes away from the pain that we are supposed to think these characters have suffered.

One of the worst things about suffering from abuse is how is affects the victims even when they have left the abusive relationship, but crwby seems to want to erase that completely from characters who should experience that for plot convenience.

It seems like the lesson learned from this is "if you were abused, just get over it and be convenient to our heroes or else!" And it's pretty gross imo.

Thoughts?

I thought that I would put these two asks together and take this opportunity to talk about the abuse victims in RWBY and how they're handled. I've tried to think long and hard about what to say about this, because this is an important topic to me and something that's personal for me. I'm an abuse survivor, but I have a complicated relationship with that part of myself and I'm never really comfortable talking about it much. But despite the fact that I've experienced abuse, I recognize that I'm not a professional sensitivity editor, not a therapist, and not someone who's studied the effects of abuse.

I'm simply writing this based on my own feelings and what I've picked up witnessing other abuse victims discuss their own feelings about abused character. There will be RWBY criticism below the keep reading. Please keep in mind that I'm not speaking for all abuse survivors and am only trying to articulate my own feelings in regards to this issue.

The first thing to note is that there isn't one, correct, right way to write an abuse victim in my opinion. Lots of people have different reactions and responses to abuse, the way they were abused is often also different, causing different reactions.

In the first anon, it's noted that Emerald and Whitley both seem to move on from their abuse quickly and with very little effect on them or their stories. Many abuse victims put their experiences on the back burner or 'in a box' to deal with later, or mask and pretend that they're alright or that their abuse just didn't happen. Some of them let their feelings or their anger simmer over time. There are also abuse victims who do just... Move on with relative ease. I'd imagine that's very rare though. (again, I'm not not an expert or any sort of psychologist.)

In the same way, an abuse victim becoming an abuser in their own interactions is something that one hundred percent happens. Cinder, Salem, Adam, and even Blake and Winter have all acted in abusive ways towards the people around them (though obviously Blake and Winter acted much less abusive than any of the villains mentioned.) It might be very hard for abuse victims to not fall back into those patterns of abuse that they've suffered, especially if they go through it at an early age. I'm not very comfortable talking about my own experiences, but myself and my siblings have all had to fight down toxic, hurtful traits that we picked up either through emulating or through survival. And it's hard to do that. Portraying characters who have been abused that lost that fight and might have abusive tendencies or slip themselves is - to me at least - sometimes even helpful in working through my own feelings.

And there are definitely one hundred percent abuse victims who feel like the way they were treated is deserved, that they 'earned' it, that they must 'make up for it.' Oz is in this category. There's nothing wrong with the concept of a character who feels responsible for their abuser or the hurt their abuser has caused to others, there’s nothing wrong with a character who tends to act as though everything is their fault and who thinks very poorly of themselves.

In theory. But the problem is that in application, there are a lot of pitfalls and struggles that come with writing for abuse victims. Understanding, thoughtfulness, and care are not the RWBY writers’ strength, and any time you portray real life issues that strongly impact the real life people involved in them, you have to be aware and careful with the messages you’re sending. This is obviously very important when someone writes for any minority or oppressed group or the issues that they face, but it’s also important to remember when you write for abuse victims, because they do have stigmas around them and deal with stereotypes and harmful portrayals as well. Let’s look at what I consider some harmful or hurtful pitfalls when it comes to abused characters.

Are the abused characters treated as the victims they are? If the abuse a character faces is treated as comical, treated as unimportant, or treated as deserved, that’s an obvious major flaw. Sad to say, but RWBY does not pass this. On two separate occasions, a character is hit by someone close to them in a way that clearly causes them some pain, with Blake hitting Sun across the face for following her, and Winter hitting Weiss for answering a question incorrectly and again for failing in her training (I tend to be more sympathetic towards Blake’s situation, as it is more gray with her clearly thinking Sun had stalked her which is a clear trigger from her own abuse, but this is an explanation, not an excuse and the fact that it was framed as funny rather than something Blake shouldn’t have done and should apologize for is the problem.) They also do not treat Ozpin like the victim when Qrow punches him in the face, having no one call Qrow out for it and having him never express guilt or try to apologize for it. Yes, I know Ozpin had retreated, but they never showed Qrow even make an effort to get Ozpin to come back so he could apologize. . They also ‘redeem’ Hazel and give him a ‘partially right’ storyline despite his openly beating Ozpin, unfairly blaming him for the death of his sister, and insisting that Ozpin deserved to be tortured. On top of this, despite having been horribly abused by the SDC, Adam isn’t treated with even an ounce of sympathy or understanding and Jacques Schnee and the SDC is treated like a more comical-ish nuisance in season seven and eight. This is greatly flawed. Hitting someone because they lied to you or kept secrets from you is not okay, hitting someone because they said something you don’t like is not okay. This should not be treated as funny and it shouldn’t be treated as the fault of the person who was hit for not being a good enough friend.

Are the abused characters mostly villains, when the heroes have never faced it? The reason for this is obvious, although it’s valid to have a villain be an abuse victim, it’s never alright to villainize abuse victims. Making the majority of your bad guys abuse victims and your good guys have positive relationships is in my opinion, harmful. Point for RWBY, this is not the case for their show. Mercury, Salem, and Cinder on the bad side are all abuse victims with Raven being a possible, but unconfirmed abuse victim as well. While Weiss, Blake, Ozpin, and Whitley are also abuse victims, with Qrow and May both being possible, but unconfirmed abuse victims, and Winter and Emerald are both abuse victims who were on the side of a villain and then turned good.

Is the abuse more severe in the ‘bad’ characters and lighter in the ‘good’ characters? If the abuse that the good guys faced is mostly lighter things and the abuse that the villains suffered is worse and more severe, that might send some bad messages that people who suffer more are automatically worse people, or ‘unsalvageable’ or ‘too broken,’ as opposed to the people that ‘there’s still hope for.’ Unfortunately, I think RWBY is almost a tie? We’ve never seen Weiss or Emerald suffer more than a hit, we don’t know for sure that Whitley or Winter were ever victims of physical abuse. Ozpin and Blake’s abuse is worse, however, as they are hunted down by their abusers who attempt to murder them, make them suffer, and hurt their loved ones. They also were heavily emotionally manipulated and victim blamed by their abusers. And on the villain side, Mercury was beat by his father who hated him and stole his semblance (an extension of your soul, I believe, in canon,) and the abuse led to the loss of his limbs. Cinder was forced to work hard labor by her abusive employer and the ‘stepsisters’ treated her badly, and she was physically electrocuted. We see her abuse extend to Salem using her Grimm arm to hurt her, copying the effects of the necklace. Adam was also a child laborer who worked in terrible conditions who got his face branded by his employer, in the SDC, which had to have been anti-faunus charged due to his bull horns. We don’t see Salem ever physically abused, but know that she was mistreated, isolated, and neglected by her ‘cruel’ father. So it’s not quite a tie, there are more severely abused characters amongst the villains than the heroes, but this is close enough that I don’t consider this much of a strike against them.

In the villains, is the abuse they faced given as ‘reason’ for their villainy? As I said before, villainizing abuse victims isn’t the way to go. A good way to avoid this - I think - is not have abuse be the sole reason for someone’s fall into a life of crime or cruelty. This is something that RWBY... Fails at imo. When showing us Mercury’s backstory, we’re introduced to him through seeing that he had just killed his abuser who cost him his legs, and then gets recruited by Cinder who at the very least likely emotionally and physically abused him the same way she did with Emerald, leading to the conclusion that the only reason he’s there at all is due to abuse. However, he’s just a teen and it’s possible that (like Emerald) he’ll be redeemed. A much more condemning story to talk about is Cinder’s. After people had been clambering for a Cinder backstory since volume three, RWBY finally showed us one. But it doesn’t include Cinder meeting Salem, why she joined her, her proving herself, none of that. Instead, Cinder’s backstory was entirely focused on her abusive situation as a child, entirely focused on her suffering. Cinder killing her abusers and then killing the teacher who decided to arrest her for getting herself out of her abusive situation was portrayed as the only needed backstory, the explanation to why she’s a power hungry, abusive, cruel, selfish, and just plain evil person. ‘She was abused’ is the explanation for why Cinder is where she is and why she is who she is in RWBY. That’s highly problematic to me.

In the heroes, are they “the Perfect, Sanitized Abuse Victims?” As I said before, there is no one type of abuse victim, but if someone has several abuse victims and they’re all either submissive, sad, and self-doubting, but gentle and caring and soft or dropped their abuser like a hotcake and never looked back, never seem affected, never really talk about it after they left... That’s bothersome to me personally. Measuring how RWBY is in this particular subject is... A little harder than I thought it would be. Let’s start by looking at the most prevalent abuse victim, Blake. She’s one of the reasons why this is hard to gauge, because for the first five seasons, Blake was deeply flawed and clearly affected by her abuse in ways that made her ‘unappealing.’ Blake was cynical, stubborn, cold, hard to get to know, she didn’t trust easily, she lashed out at her friends regularly, ran from her problems, made choices for her friends, and had a very negative self image. This didn’t stop her from being a good character and friend with a lot of good sides, too, and she had real, important friendships. This was - to me - a really great portrayal of someone clearly affected by their trauma, with lots to work on, who was still a good person. Some of her faults and problems started to get resolved in a natural way through her journey with Sun in volumes four and five, but when season six came around, many of Blake’s other traits suddenly vanished. No longer stubborn, independent, or cynical, and no longer standing up for herself, or really displaying her temper or hardheadedness or her struggles with getting to know people... Blake became more submissive, sad, self-doubting, but gentle, caring, and soft. Sigh. As the first ask mentioned, Whitley and Emerald both seemed to drop their abusers quickly the second they were removed from their lives again. it’s also worth noting that Whitley was treated with nothing but coldness and contempt by Weiss until he ‘proved himself’ by doing something selfless. Weiss did more or less drop Jacques the moment she left her house in V4, only mentioning him or her experiences when she’s using it to talk about Blake, and when she confronted him again in V7, she did so as someone who is proving she no longer cares. Ozpin seems to be the only one still unable to move on from his abuse and the ‘unappealing’ abuse victim. The first anon is right, there’s something satisfying with seeing an abuse victim move on like their abuser didn’t matter. But when almost all your abuse victims do, and one of the only other ones is turned into a submissive and soft support based / romance based character, and the only really ‘unappealing’ abuse victim is someone we’re supposed to see as ‘gray’... There’s something off there, in my opinion.

Were the abuse victims treated respectfully and thoughtfully by their friends, and if not, were they portrayed as wrong? This probably isn’t something that really even needs an explanation. Abuse victims should be able to set their own boundaries and tell their stories only when they want, when they feel comfortable, Their friends should be understanding of this and not force anything from them. In the case of Blake and Weiss, this is handled really well! Their friends let them talk about their experiences in their own time, and they’re understanding and validate their feelings when it comes up (much more common with Blake than with Weiss, who like I said, seemed to move on from her dad quickly after she left.) However, when it comes to Oz... This is all wrecked. Although unintentional (no one knew how deeply tied up with Salem Ozpin was or how intimate the memories they were going to watch were,) our main characters still forced Ozpin’s deepest and most personal secrets out of him in a fit of upset while he was tearfully begging them not to. He was forced to relive his most traumatic experiences in hi-def with other people watching with him, all his secrets and all his abuse wrenched away from him in what was clearly a very painful way. And then no one showed Ozpin even the slightest bit of sympathy or understanding for what he’d gone through, and no one ever apologized for what they had forced him to relive. In fact, Team RWBY were clearly displayed as in the right, and Oz was displayed as completely wrong for not trusting them implicitly. He had to apologize to them, which they acted begrudgingly accepting of as if they hadn’t shouted at an abuse victim after forcing him to relive all his worst experiences.

Are some abuse victims portrayed as bad for things that other abuse victims aren’t portrayed as bad for? Like the second ask says, in RWBY, Cinder and Mercury are treated as villains for having killed their abusers and Cinder is almost arrested for it, it’s considered a step in the direction of their villainy. But Blake is (rightfully) treated as the victim who was forced, who had no choice, who just wanted the abuse to stop. This is hypocritical and fundamentally flawed. I think this is a reflection of the fact that Cinder and Mercury are meant to be ‘bad’ abuse victim, who had violent tendencies and anger issues, and were already featured as bad guys before their backstory’s dropped, whereas Blake was meant to be a better abuse victim who (by season six) was starting to get written as a soft girl who just wanted to help her friends.

All in all, although there’s some things that I think that RWBY did well enough, I definitely think that I would consider their portrayal of abuse victims to be lacking. This is just my opinion and the way I feel about the writing, but there are a lot of ways to look at it. I think overall, I just really wish that the RWBY writers had been a little more sensitive and spent a little longer focusing on the character arcs involved in abuse recovery. (There’s still a chance for Whitley, Weiss, and Emerald to get more focus in volume ten, though, so long as the writers don’t timeskip!)

#rwde #rwby criticism #rwby critical #rwby hate #rwby bashing #tw; abuse #trigger warning; abuse

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simul16 · 3 years ago

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The Curious Case of the Original Women of Ravenloft (or Loose Canons Can Be Dangerous)

For many years, we in the Dungeons & Dragons RPG studio have considered things like D&D novels, D&D video games, D&D comic books, as wonderful expressions of D&D storytelling and D&D lore, but they are not canonical for the D&D roleplaying game. -Jeremy Crawford Those among us who are fortunate enough to become shepherds or stewards of the D&D game must train ourselves to become art and lore experts so that we know when we’re being faithful to the game’s past and when we’re moving in a new direction. We decide, based on our understanding of the game’s history and audience, what artwork or lore to pull forward, what artwork or lore needs to change, and what artwork or lore should be buried so deep that it never again sees the light of day. -Chris Perkins There is a very simple statement to be made about all these stories: they do not really come off intellectually as problems, and they do not come off artistically as fiction. They are too contrived, and too little aware of what goes on in the world. - Raymond Chandler, "The Simple Art of Murder"

There's been a bit of a stir in the D&D community over some comments that Jeremy Crawford made at a press briefing prior to the D&D Live event about how only the information published in a WotC Fifth Edition D&D product is 'canonical' for D&D. There was enough of a reaction that Chris Perkins, self-described as "one of the D&D Studio's principal game architects", published an article on the WotC site (linked under Perkins's name above) explaining this statement and explicitly calling out what it means when discussing an intellectual property with a long-standing and vast catalog of lore, where that lore is one of the primary positive features of that property.

On the surface, it seems pretty straight-forward. Crawford's comments focused on not overwhelming partners with lore requirements when producing peripheral products like novels and video games so that they can focus on producing their product rather than meeting arbitrary lore requirements (not that this seems to have helped the most recent video game product release). Perkins mentions this, too, explicitly evoking R.A. Salvatore's novels and how Salvatore (perhaps infamously) used to incorporate elements into his stories that were outright illegal according to the D&D game rules (such as Drizzt's dual-wielding of scimitars, only made legal in 5e, or his creation of Pikel Bouldershoulder, a 'mentally challenged' dwarf who believed himself to be a druid and even eventually displayed druid-like abilities, even though dwarves in the D&D of the era of the Cleric Quintet series, where Pikel appeared, were not allowed to be druids). Perkins's comments also refocused the discussion on players, DMs, and their games, making the point that every campaign develops its own canon, and that the version of the Forgotten Realms run at a given D&D table does not perfectly match either the version of the same world run at a different table, or even as presented in the official published campaign sourcebooks.

This position is easily defensible; I even presented it myself in a response on Twitter to Perkins's own comment on an event in the Acquisitions Incorporated campaign he runs and records for online consumption. A restaurant that exists in the Forgotten Realms of Acquisitions Incorporated might have been shut down for health reasons after a shambling mound attack in a different campaign, or a previous party of PCs might have made a disastrous error during the war with reborn Netheril that led to the fall of Cormyr, with the coastal area of the former kingdom being absorbed by their rivals in Sembia while the interior lands were allowed to be overrun with monsters migrating out of the Stonelands (which makes for a nearly ideal 'starter zone' for a new 5E Realms campaign, IMO).

But just because there are benefits to such an approach to canon doesn't mean that it's the best way to approach canon, particularly with respect to a property which has had a long lifespan and is expected to have an even longer one. There are plenty of ways to criticize such an approach, many of which have been brought up by other commenters:

In any long-lasting intellectual property, there is a core of fans that are devoted to the lore and canon of that property -- see Harry Potter, Star Wars, etc. 'Loosening up' the lore not only convinces your existing super-fans not to continue to support and evangelize your property, but also prevents the creation of a new generation of such fans to continue your property's life into a new generation of fans.

Since much of what is on offer in a published sourcebook is the current 'canon' (despite Perkins's statement that "we don't produce sourcebooks that spool out a ton of backstory", the reality is that much of the content of sourcebooks like the Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide and Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft is setting material: i.e.: "backstory"), if you're not going to stand up for the lore of prior editions, and by implication make it clear that future editions aren't going to be beholden to the lore of even this edition, then why get heavily invested in the lore at all? (This ties into the above point, as the fewer people who get invested in the lore of a property, the fewer evangelists for that property you will produce.)

If you have any Organized Play for your game (which D&D does, as does so-called 'living card games' which are based on an advancing storyline), loosened canon makes it easier for those authors to produce content, but simultaneously makes it harder to incorporate the content that players enjoy into the overall game. In addition, the later stories can't take into account all of the potential outcomes that a given group might have taken through a given adventure, so in effect, this turns all adventures into "railroad plots" with respect to the larger campaign narrative, where the best outcome is assumed for each adventure and thus the PCs don't really have the ability to influence the overall metaplot. (This gets complicated, because it necessarily involves different campaign outcomes contesting with one another to become the 'canonical' outcome, which is itself pretty challenging. Regardless, one of the attractions of a 'living campaign' is that the campaign in theory adapts to respond to the actions of the players; a 'living campaign' that doesn't do this is no different than a traditional scripted campaign.)

Perkins's final point in his essay, though, seems just as important to the current 'administration' as any of the other explanations, and that's the quote referenced at the top. In effect, what Perkins is saying is that the 5E team wants to be able to take what they consider 'good lore' and keep in in the game, while revising or outright eliminating 'bad lore'. Again, this seems like a defensible position, but it also has a flip side: it assumes that your changes to the lore are not just lazy or arbitrary, but are made consciously and for specific reasons. This could work well if you actually follow through on your intention, but given the realities of publishing on a schedule, it's inevitable that some amount of lazy or arbitrary decision-making will occur, and in those decisions, you can inadvertently (or allow someone without your knowledge to deliberately) make decisions that harm the canon. The statement seems reasonable, but as we'll discover below, it's actually fundamentally dishonest.

With that in mind, let's explore...

The Curious Case of the Original Women of Ravenloft

The original Ravenloft setting as released in the early 1990s, like the game studio that released it, contained a lot of old white guys, and it didn't necessarily get any more diverse with time. The early 3E Ravenloft product "Secrets of the Dread Realms" by Swords & Sorcery Studios lists eighteen Domains of Dread, half of which were unambiguously run by old white dudes. Depending on how you want to define 'old' and 'white', you could even add a few more domains to the list (such as Verbrek, ruled by the son of the former old white dude darklord, and Markovia, depending on whether you consider Markov to still be human enough to qualify as an old white dude). Only five domains were ruled by female darklords, and one of those (Borca) isn't even wholly ruled by the female darklord. Comparing the darklords of Secrets of the Dread Realms to that of Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft points out just how much of a priority it was for the 5E team to increase the diversity of darklords in the setting.

Curiously, though, the female characters retained from classic Ravenloft don't appear to have been changed in a manner that fits Perkins's explanation of what they consider when deciding what to bring forward from older lore, as in nearly every case, the character became less interesting and possesses less agency in her current 5E presentation than she did in her original pre-5E incarnation.

Jacqueline Montarri

Let's begin our survey with a character who technically doesn't yet exist in 5E lore, and thus by Crawford's definition doesn't exist in lore at all. It might seem odd to begin my presentation of 'female characters deprived of agency by their 5E presentations' by starting with a character who wasn't presented, but on the other hand, being removed from canon and thus from existence could be argued as the most severe loss of agency possible for a character.

Jacqueline doesn't exist in 5E because the organization she founded, the Red Vardo Traders, doesn't exist in 5E. In older editions, the Red Vardo Traders was both a legitimate trade company as well as a criminal organization engaging in smuggling, assassination, and other crimes, and are based in the Barovian town of Krezk. The version of Krezk presented in Curse of Strahd, however, makes no mention of the Red Vardo Traders, choosing instead to present Krezk as a small village dominated by the Monastery of Saint Markovia*, a location that does not exist in pre-5E Ravenloft. The Red Vardo Traders were founded by Jacqueline for a specific purpose, and thus both their legitimate business operations and their criminal pursuits are but shells for their true purpose: to find Jacqueline Montarri's head.

* - Saint Markovia himself was initially presented in the late 3E reboot adventure "Expedition to Castle Ravenloft", as one of the inhabitants of Castle Ravenloft's crypts; Markovia was changed from a man into a woman as part of Curse of Strahd, and the Sanctuary of First Light, the largest church of the Morninglord in Ravenloft pre-5E and placed in Krezk by its developers, was re-written in Curse of Strahd as the Monastery of Saint Markovia.

Montarri sought the secret of eternal youth, and in doing so, consulted with the Vistani seer Madame Eva to find it. Eva originally resisted, but finally revealed that the secret rested within the library of Castle Ravenloft, and Jacqueline, out of a desire to be the only possessor of such a secret, out of a need to do evil, or perhaps both, murdered Eva before departing for Strahd's castle. Unfortunately, Jacqueline's infiltration of Castle Ravenloft attracted Strahd's attention, and she was captured, turned over to the villagers in Barovia, and beheaded for her crime against Strahd. However, some of Eva's fellow Vistani asked to take custody of the body, explaining that the woman had murdered their leader, and Jacqueline eventually awoke -- wearing Madame Eva's head. She since learned that she could 'wear' the decapitated heads of others, and cannot survive long without one. Jacqueline's body has not aged, but her head ages a year for each day she wears it, requiring her to continually murder (and possibly assume the identities of those she murders) to survive while she searches for her original head, the only thing that can break the curse that Eva's kin placed upon her.

That's a pretty amazing backstory, and one I'd think would be very worth including in a new Ravenloft setting, save for one problem: Madame Eva's death. Now this isn't actually a big problem in the context of classic Ravenloft: both Eva herself and her tribe of Vistani were known to have a 'curious' relationship to time (former Ravenloft writer John W. Mangrum explicitly called Madame Eva a "time traveler" when it was pointed out that Eva's continued existence in Ravenloft canon suggested that she had not actually been killed), but it did cause confusion among those with a more static approach to continuity. Since Eva unambiguously exists in 5E Ravenloft, being referenced in both Curse of Strahd and Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, it appears that the decision to jettison Jacqueline and her Red Vardo Traders comes mainly from a desire to untangle that confusing bit about Eva actually being dead but still walking around.

Granted, the need for an organization like the Red Vardo Traders is perhaps less significant in a Ravenloft where the Core doesn't exist and every domain is its own Island of Terror, but given that Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft still lists a number of organizations known to be capable of travel between domains, including two that they just invented out of whole cloth, it would seem as though making use of a pre-existing organization might have worked just as well. The other complicating factor is that Montarri is not herself a darklord; with the focus of the 5E Ravenloft experience on darklords as linchpins of the setting, having a compelling NPC who isn't a darklord (but who honestly could be made into one fairly easily, as her curse lends itself to a darklord's punishment and her formation of the Red Vardo Traders into her way of dealing with the limitations of being a darklord) would seem to detract from what the 5E designers were trying to do with the setting.

But this isn't the only or even the worst example of a female character deprived of her agency in the new regime...

Gabrielle Aderre

Unlike Jacqueline, whose elimination from Ravenloft seems like an editorial red pen taken to an otherwise merely irritating issue, anyone familiar with Gabrielle Aderre's backstory realized that her background would have to change significantly given the changes to the Vistani in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft.

In pre-5E Ravenloft, the Vistani were an exotic human culture of outsiders, driven by their heritage and abilities to make their own way within the Domains of Dread, and having developed mysterious abilities and customs to protect themselves from its dangers. Non-Vistani were viewed with suspicion, to the point where the Vistani had a specific word ("giorgio") for non-Vistani, and those who chose to breed with non-Vistani and their offspring were frequently outcast from Vistani culture. Female Vistani were often gifted with 'The Sight', a precognitive or divination ability, but the Vistani took great pains to ensure that no male children were born with The Sight, lest that child grow up to be a prophesied doom-bringer known as a Dukkar. (One such seer was Hyskosa, whose legendary prophesies eventually led to the Great Conjunction which nearly tore the realms apart.) Because of their separation from mundane society, more traditional settlements tended to fear the Vistani, especially their rumored skill with fashioning deadly curses when wronged, and though Vistani would often trade with such settlements, they were never truly welcome in them; ultimately, the Vistani would follow their wanderlust and move on, leaving even more strange tales and confusing lore in their wake.

Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft changed all that. Now, the Vistani are simply a sprawling human culture who "refuses to be captives of a single domain, the Mists, or any terror." Their abilities are no longer unique -- there are a number of Vistani who "possess the Mist Walker Dark Gift" that can be taken by any character -- though they are said to "understand how to employ Mist Talismans" with their "traditional magic". Instead of being seen by others as mysterious outsiders, now "the news and goods Vistani bring ensures a genuine welcome" from more traditional settlements, and only "more dismal communities view Vistani with suspicion"; likewise the Vistani themselves no longer refer to non-Vistani as "giorgio", nor do they seem to have any issues with those of mixed Vistani blood traveling or dwelling among them. Most significantly, the legends of the Dukkar no longer exist, with both male and female Vistani serving as spellcasters "with many favoring divination magic for the practical help if provides in avoiding danger." In fact, Hyskosa is no longer a lost seer prophesying the doom of the Dread Realms, but "a renowned poet and storyteller" who is alive and leads his own caravan of Vistani through the Mists.

Given all of this, Gabrielle's pre-5E backstory would need to change quite drastically. Gabrielle's mother was half-Vistani, and possessed enough of The Sight to prophesy that Gabrielle could never seek to have a family or tragedy would be the inevitable result. Learning to hate the Vistani based on her mother's incessant refusal to acknowledge her desires for a family, Gabrielle eventually abandoned her mother during a werewolf attack, fleeing into Invidia where she was captured and brought before the darklord, who sought to enslave her to command her exotic sensuality. Instead, Gabrielle made use of the traditional Vistani "evil eye" to paralyze the darklord, murdering him and assuming his lordship over Invidia. Not long after, Gabrielle was visited by a 'mysterious gentleman caller', after which she discovered she was pregnant, eventually giving birth to a boy who proved to possess The Sight. Delighted that she had managed to give birth to a Dukkar, she failed to realize how quickly the boy grew or how powerful he proved to be until her son, Malocchio, usurped her throne (but not the dark lordship of Invidia) and cast her out of his court. Though there are definitely some problematic things in this story, it's not so terrible that it couldn't still serve as the foundation of a tragic Darklord's origin.

In Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, Invidia is detailed among the short descriptions of "Other Domains of Dread", and her pre-5E backstory has been utterly thrown out. There's no indication of how Gabrielle became darklord of Invidia, who the father of her child is, or anything from pre-5E lore. Instead, Gabrielle has become one of the parents from the story of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory -- a rich, bad mom convinced of her child's greatness and willing to accept anyone who supports that story while turning a blind eye to her child's misbehavior and cruelty toward his servants and teachers.

Pre-5E Gabrielle wasn't ideal, but at least she had a drive: she wanted a family, and refused to accept that her desire could not overcome the inevitable grinding wheel of fate. 5E Gabrielle arguably isn't even evil, just supernaturally deluded (ironically, her main flaw is her blind acceptance of the rightness of her own privilege), so it's not even clear why she rather than Malocchio is the darklord of Invidia. Rather than wanting a thing she can never have, 'modern' Gabrielle assumes she has a thing that doesn't exist, and is less a tragic figure desperately trying to assert her own agency than a deluded puppet, acting out a part in a drama that makes no sense. Granted, as we noted above, some degree of Gabrielle's old backstory would need to change to accommodate the other changes to Ravenloft lore as part of the 5E transition, but the decision to simply throw out the old Gabrielle and turn her into a character who isn't even aware of her own lack of agency in her situation is, in its own way, even more tragic than Gabrielle's original pre-5E story.

Isolde

Isolde is a fascinating character, because she was created after the Carnival, the group she leads in Ravenloft lore. In pre-5E Ravenloft, the Carnival was the Carnival l'Morai, run by a sinister being known as the Puppetmaster. The events that led to the Carnival breaking free of the Puppetmaster's influence are detailed in the 1993 Ravenloft novel "Carnival of Fear". Then, in the 1999 supplement "Carnival", John W. Mangrum and Steve Miller take the Carnival l'Morai and introduce them to Isolde, a mysterious woman who joins the Carnival and assumes the role of its leader and protector. Much of the internal story within the supplement itself involves the theories that many of the other characters have about who Isolde is and where she comes from, and how various aspects of the Carnival, such as the Twisting (a change that comes over those who remain with the Carnival for any signficant amount of time and seem to bring hidden or secret traits to the surface as exotic abilities or mutations), relate to her. In the end, though (spoiler alert!), Mangrum and Miller reveal Isolde's true backstory -- she is a chaotic good ghaele eladrin who voluntarily chose to enter Ravenloft in pursuit of a fiend named the Gentleman Caller (thus the Carnival supplement is also the origin of the Caller, one of the signature non-darklord villains of the setting). The Twisting is revealed to be a side-effect of Isolde's 'reality wrinkle'; as an outsider, Isolde can re-make reality in a short distance around her, and one of the ways she does this is by bringing someone's inner self out and making it visible to others. Honestly, if you wanted a domain or group whose underlying reason-to-exist seems tailor-made for a modern RPG audience, it would be one where having your inner self revealed to the world, one that you've been taught is freakish and strange, proves to be beautiful to those who accept you.

But that's not what we got in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, perhaps because of the book's insistence on page 6 that "Nowhere Is Safe". Instead of the 3E ghaele eladrin, Isolde is now just an eladrin, a 4E planar elf variant. Instead of entering Ravenloft and finding the Carnival l'Morai in need of a leader and protector, she was manipulated first by a powerful archfey into leading a fey carnival, then inexplicably decided to swap carnivals with a different carnival run by a group of shadar-kai through the Shadowfell, even going so far as to accept the intelligent (and evil) sword Nepenthe, who is the actual darklord of the Carnival.

Again, as with Gabrielle, some simplification of Isolde's backstory was probably inevitable, as the original backstory made use of very specific Ravenloft mechanics that the 5E version simply doesn't want to deal with (mainly Isolde's 'reality wrinkle' which drives the Twisting). But not only did the designers take a character who had explicitly chosen both to enter Ravenloft in pursuit of the Gentleman Caller and to take leadership of the Carnival to serve as its protector and changed her into a character who is manipulated into doing everything she does that gets her into Ravenloft (and leaves her no memory of how or why she got there), the designers didn't even decide to keep Isolde as the most significant character in Carnival, allowing the sword Isolde carries to take that starring role.

Oddly, a lot of the changes to Isolde's story are reminiscent of the classic Ravenloft story of Elena Faith-Hold and how she became the darklord of Nidala in the Shadowlands, which suggested to me that perhaps at one time the Shadowlands were not going to be included in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, and the changes to Isolde's story were meant to be a call-out to what would be the missing story of Elena. But the Shadowlands also exist as an "Other Domain of Dread", so in the end, the changes to Isolde served no real positive purpose.

Interlude

It's worth taking a moment to contrast the characters above with the domains in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft that gained female darklords who didn't have female darklords previously:

Dementlieu, formerly ruled by Dominic D'Honaire, is now ruled by Saidra D'Honaire; it is hinted but not stated explicitly in Saidra's backstory that she is not actually related to the former darklord, but simply assumed the family name as part of her assumption of the rulership of Dementlieu, in which the Grand Masquerade must be maintained above all else.

Falkovnia, formerly ruled by Vlad Drakov, is now ruled by Vladeska Drakov; Vladeska's backstory makes it plain that she is a female re-skin of the original Vlad Drakov, himself a character from the Dragonlance world of Krynn. Other than her origin, which is now no longer tied to Dragonlance, her backstory is largely the same as her predecessor's, save that instead of the dead rising to battle Drakov's attempted invasions of their northern neighbor, Darkon, now the dead rise to reclaim Falkovnia itself from Vladeska's attempt to 'pacify' it.

Lamordia, formerly ruled by Adam, the creation of the mad doctor Victor Mordenheim, is now ruled by the mad doctor Viktra Mordenheim; Victor's hubris in his attempt to create life are matched by Viktra's attempts to defeat death.

Valachan, formerly ruled by Baron Urik von Kharkov, is now ruled by Chakuna; in one of the few backstories in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft that acknowledges a former darklord, Chakuna's backstory is that she had to become a monster (a were-panther, specifically) to defeat a monster (a panther who was polymorphed into a man as part of a revenge plot, fled from the Forgotten Realms into Ravenloft upon realizing what he was, where he was transformed into a vampire...look, not every convoluted backstory for the old Ravenloft darklords was necessarily a good convoluted backstory).

I'd argue that each of the darklords above retains her agency in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft, but it's curious to note that each of those darklords seems to have inherited that sense of agency from her relationship to the male darklord that preceded her, sometimes literally (in the cases of Saidra and Chakuna) and sometimes figuratively (in the cases where Vladeska and Viktra are mainly female re-skinnings of the original male darklords). The designers clearly have the capacity to allow a female darklord to exercise agency and have drive and purpose to her existence, if that drive and purpose was inherited from or inspired by an original male character. If the character was a woman all along, though, then agency and drive and purpose are not really important to the designers, if they can fit that character into the specially designed hole the size of the concept they had for the new domain. Which brings us to the character who I feel was done dirtiest by the designers in moving from classic Ravenloft to 5E...

Jacqueline Renier

Jacqueline Renier is one of the original Ravenloft darklords, tracing her origins all the way back to the original "Black Box" campaign setting released by TSR in 1990. She appears in two different places in that boxed set -- once as the chaotic evil darklord of Richemulot in the Realm of Terror booklet, and in a portrait of the Renier family included as a handout in the box. The Renier family was actually an ancient wererat clan in the world they originally came from, and Jacqueline herself was the granddaughter of the patriarch of the clan, Claude Renier. When the Reniers fled into Ravenloft to escape the justice of their original world, they first appeared in Falkovnia, where they ruled the sewers until finally forced out by Vlad Drakov's troops. Fleeing into the Mists, the Reniers found themselves in the new domain of Richemulot, and Claude found himself the domain's darklord.

Jacqueline proved an eager student in the manipulative ways of her elders, however; both her grandfather, who maintained control over the clan through a combination of coercion and sheer force of personality, and her mother, who murdered Jacqueline's father seemingly only so that Jacqueline and her twin sister would not need to lose the Renier name. Jacqueline learned the game so well that one day she manipulated her own grandfather into his destruction at her hands, so cleanly that no one else in the family dared to oppose her ascension. Jacqueline was now the matriarch of the Reniers, and the ruler of Richemulot.

But 3E Ravenloft added a few additional wrinkles to Jacqueline's backstory. In the Ravenloft Gazetteers, it was revealed that Jacqueline's ambition to assume control of her clan and the domain of Richemulot were not just driven by a desire for power, but in the name of a vision of the future where wererats would reigns supreme over all other humanoids. She began encouraging migration into the largely undeveloped and underpopulated lands of Richemulot, while overseeing work in putrid laboratories to develop the Becoming Plague -- a disease that would transform humanoids en-masse into wererats under Jacqueline's ultimate command. In every speech Jacqueline would give about the glorious future of Richemulot, it was not the future of humanity she was referring to, but rather the coming age of the rat.

Jacqueline's backstory wasn't perfect -- as with other female darklords, she also got saddled with the 'she desperately wants to be loved and is terrified of being alone' trope -- but for the most part, this is a truly impressive backstory. And in our age, a domain featuring an ambitious politician pushing nationalism to motivate her partisans, only for that nationalism to not be what her partisans believe it is would seem to be an extremely fitting template for horror. It would certainly seem possible to re-write the few problematic aspects of her character with more modern tropes; make Jacqueline an 'ace' (asexual) but who still craves romance based on her upbringing and is both attracted to and terrified by anyone who might potentially prove to be her equal, and you've got what I'd consider to be one of the best darklords in the setting.

As you might expect, given Jacqueline's placement on this list, that's not nearly what we got in Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft.

Instead, Jacqueline was born as a noblewoman within Richemulot, and was quick to notice that the rise of the bourgeoise would threaten the power of the nobility and lead to their diminution in society. Jacqueline's grandfather was not the charismatic, sadistic mastermind of a clan of wererats, but an aging nobleman growing infirm in his old age, and he proved unable and/or unwilling to work to change things, so Jacqueline would need to be the person to reverse her family's fortunes and the decline of the nobility in society. Not by doing anything herself, mind, but rather by trying to find an organization of nobles working to maintain the supremacy of the nobility. Finding them, she learned too late that they were secretly a society of wererats when she was forcibly made into one of them, but she quickly adapted, rising to command both the rat and wererat populations before finally unleashing a plague -- the Gnawing Plague -- upon the populace. Rather than converting the population into wererats, the Gnawing Plague just killed them, and when the people begged Jacqueline and the nobles for aid, Jacqueline made helpful noises but did nothing useful (it's not recorded if she uttered the words "Let them eat cake," as she watched the peasants die). Her 'torment' as a darklord is that she wants to return to the privileged life she had as a noblewoman, but can't, as the need to supervise the creation of new, more virulent plagues and unleash them to keep the peasantry from revolting and overthrowing the nobility prevents her from building the kind of society that would actually support a thriving nobility.

Instead of a domain where we have seen the future and humanity has no place in it, we have a one-percenter using every ounce of her privilege to stay above the ranks of the peasants she despises. Instead of an intelligent, ambitious planner capable of executing long-range goals flawlessly, we have a vapid, shallow socialite yearning to return to her days as a debutante. As villains go, Jacqueline has fallen a long, long way from her portrayal in pre-5E Ravenloft.

Probably the most offensive part of the redesign of Richemulot as 'the plague domain' is that we've spent over nineteen months living through a plague of our own, and the kind of horror that is presented as Richemulot's primary adventure cycle, the Cycle of the Plague, bears almost no resemblance to the reality we've lived through. Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft presents a world where common people are to be feared, and authorities abuse their power to heartlessly quarantine the sick to stop the disease from overtaking everyone, yet say nothing about the horror of those who refuse to accept that the plague exists, or who profiteer from bizarre 'cures' and treatments. The designers present Richemulot as an example of 'disaster horror', where "the world has fallen into ruin -- or it's getting there fast," when the domain could be an example of the most classic of all horror tropes: humans are the most horrible of monsters.

Thus, the final quote leading this essay. It's not my place to argue that the folks who wrote Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft are good or bad writers, and as Raymond Chandler noted, it's not really necessary. After all, "[t]he poor writer is dishonest without knowing it, and the fairly good one can be dishonest because he doesn't know what to be honest about." And ultimately this entire drive, to try to distance the product from the mistakes of the past by also distancing it from its successes, all while presuming that one can correct the deficiencies of the past without committing mistakes that, in hindsight, will seem just as obvious to our successors: that undertaking is fundamentally dishonest. The people writing, editing, and publishing Dungeons & Dragons today grew up on the old tropes that are now being rejected as no longer being relevant, as unnecessary complexity, as potentially harmful, without realizing that the harmful bits aren't just what was written down, but what was learned, such as a woman's motivation and agency meaning little unless they correspond with those of a man.

Yes, there's a lot of stuff published before 2014 that seems bad to us today that, for whatever reason, didn't seem bad to us back when it was published, read, and became part of our fictional worlds. But there's also no reason to assume that process ended in 2014. Update the lore where it's needed, but realize that the process never ends, even with the lore you're writing today to replace it.

#dnd

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fencesandfrogs · 4 years ago

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cloudtail’s daughter au

so i decided to do a full write-up of this au instead of doing a second post to cover books 4-6 and then everything will be self-contained.

the essence of this au is pretty simple: dovewing does not, imo, fulfill the prophecy by being the granddaughter of firestar’s nephew, because that’s at least 3 “kin” away from him. so while i think she’d actually have to be princess’ daughter to fit, i’ll let her be firestar’s grandniece and call that “close enough” because it’s better.

anyway, there’s no real reason for this to change anything, but i think given who cloudtail and brightheart are, and how close dovewing and ivypool are to whitewing, it would probably change quite a few things.

[4k words. 15 minute read. proper section headers.]

this is a big summary so i’m sure i’ll forget things, i’ve already had to add in the events caused by the dovewing/tigerheart romance/conflict that carries through the first three books, and that cloudtail being an atheist has a major effect on ivypaw. i know i wrote a detailed summary of the first arc, where i didn’t forget any of that, but nothing exists for the second arc. anyway this au is tagged cloudtail’s daughter and apparently i have a lot to say about it so i’m sure if you click on the tag you can find info about it. assuming this isn’t the first thing i post. which it might be.

section one: things that don’t happen

so i don’t want this to be a po3 rewrite, which means i’m going to take a moment to explicitly discuss what doesn’t change.

first, po3 stays pretty much exactly the same. i want jayfeather to be a warrior too. i also want him to be dovewing’s brother. but the au where brightheart gives birth to dovekit, anxiety child, and jaykit, blind, and feels like a failure despite the fact that its not like her half-blindness is genetic, is not this au. that is another au.

anyway, hollyleaf does keep herself more together, because she needs to be alive for some family drama. she’s in background character hell (BGCH) for a while, though, especially the first book.

she still goes to the tunnels, mind, she just comes out sooner.

but otherwise, despite my personal tastes, i’m not changing po3 very much.

section two: brightheart’s litters

okay so cloudtail and brightheart have four children, i believe, and my choice is either to replace whitewing, or to replace the others. now, i don’t particularly care for either of these options, but i’d rather they have their second litter younger, so we’re replacing amber/dew/snow. this still lets you have old queen drama, but not so much that you’re like “brightheart how on god’s green earth did you have 3 children with no issues”

instead, she’ll have dovekit and ivykit at about the same time whitewing had them.

now, for complicated cat genetic reasons, cloudtail could have been a black cat. now, here me out: what i mean is, if he wasn’t white, he could be black. basically, white is a masking color in cats, it goes on top of whatever pattern they would have displayed. both he and brightheart would have to inherit one dilute gene (princess was not dilute, so she had to carry it), and then either dovewing or brightheart are tortie, and that’s the best i can do for keeping dovewing grey.

i, personally, lean towards tortie brightheart, because i always pictured her that way, but i have seen some pretty cute tortie dovewing.

ivykit inherits red from her mother, and is tortie either way, because tortie ivypool is cute.

in fact, i’ve been tinkering with the idea that ivykit and dovekit have kind of mirrored grey and cream spots. not, like, perfectly mirrored, because that’s not how tortoiseshell/calico (they would technically be calico, since they have white) works, but close enough to be cute.

section three: arc one (summary)

these books are going to have six protagonists (dovekit, lionblaze, cinderheart, hollyleaf, jayfeather, ivypool, in that order) with a secondary character who gets less chapters but the most important b-plot (ivykit, hollyleaf, lionblaze, jayfeather, cinderheart, dovewing).

arc one focuses on “two braincells” i.e., dovewing, lionblaze, and cinderheart (sorry bb, ur not like the other two, but i’m putting you somewhere) and the main theme is dovepaw learning to manage her power. it’s a tug and pull between dovewing: glass canon, and dovewing: can’t do shit.

cinderheart and lionblaze also have a romance going on, which irritates ivypaw, who has a bit of a catalyst with the dark forest in the middle/end of the arc (like in the original). we only get this through external perspecives, though, because when this happens, lionblaze is in the secondary position.

one of the ways to fix this book series is to decouple it from ivy and dove, much as i love them. both the beavers and the dark forest make up a b-plot in this arc, while the quest for the third prophecy cat, as well as growing tensions between clans, take center stage, and lionblaze and cinderheart work in the second and third book to give us the adult perspective of the tension that dovekit and ivykit can’t in the first book.

mostly, this is fairly low stakes. part of that is because characters are having stakes appropriate for them, rather than smeared around in a book. (looking @ u, flametail buddy). so dovekit/paw spends her first book worried about apprentice things and doesn’t get to narrate again until the end of the series.

section four: book one — growing shadows

i think the fourth apprentice is a stupid name, okay?

so book one is dovekit and ivykit, for pretty obvious reasons.

although actually i’m pushing off the beavers in this to book two or three. i’m not 100% sure where i want that, yet.

so anyway, dovekit is born and wow is she anxiety child. (i call dovewing anxiety child a lot, because, well, she is? i feel like it’s sort of implicit in the books and i’m making it explicity.) anyway, she’s in sensory overload like 100% of the time. see, she was born late, and so she didn’t have her powers kick in over time like lionblaze and jayfeather. nope. she got the adult version right away.

so she spends a lot of time hiding with cloudtail because he’s big and fluffy and not complicated to look at. cloudtail and brightheart are understandibly pretty worried about her, because no one really knows what to do about it. she’s skittish and distractable and extremely sensitive. she hates going out in the rain, hates bright sun, etc.

(side note: dovekit’s powers extend to pretty much all her senses. she can see, hear, and smell much farther than she should, and she can taste and feel much more strongly than an other cat.)

ivykit doesn’t feel unloved, but she does know her sister is getting more attention, and that always kind of hurts, even if you’re understanding.

cloudtail and brightheart work to try to help dovekit get on her feet, but they’re not super successful. she learns to cope enough to be able to function as a kit, but she’s always kind of a strange, quiet kit. she doesn’t know how to talk about seeing too much because she doesn’t realize its too much.

dove is given to cinderheart, because lionblaze is a terrible mentor for small anxiety child, and ivy is given to lionblaze. this will also create drama later, just wait.

so the main plot of this book is keyed into dovepaw learning to hunt. the stakes are pretty low, honestly. they’re mounting around dovepaw and ivypaw, but the girls are too young to properly understand everything.

dovepaw is initially successful hunting due to some luck and being good at spotting prey, but she can’t replicate it. ivypaw only trains with her a bit at first, and she sees this success, and feels like her parents’ attention on dovepaw made dovepaw better than her.

this gets ivypaw into the dark forest. this is the b-plot: ivypaw training, realizing she made a mistake, and not knowing how to get out. plus, she doesn’t have to mind her sister. (ivypaw is raised by an atheist, so while she’s smart enough to eventually work out that these cats are evil, she doesn’t have a sunshine and rainbows view of starclan. that’s the only way i can justify her not being smart enough to nope the fuck out of there, even if she is really young and really angry.)

in clan life, ivypaw knows she needs to look out for dovepaw. she doesn’t mind, but she gets to experience a life without that in the dark forest.

dovepaw does mind how everyone treats her like she’s made of glass. she sees cinderheart talking to brightheart and jayfeather and firestar and feels like everyone thinks she’s useless. so she decides to go out on her own and prove she can function.

dovepaw starts sneaking out at night and she finds the tunnels. her senses dampened, she panicks, running deeper and deeper, getting lost. fallen leaves will find her, and help get her strength up and then get her out. kind of like with hollyleaf, who is out of the caves by now.

ivypaw sees everyone searching for dovepaw and starts to feel guilty about wanting more attention, and the fact that part of why she wants dovepaw back is so people pay attention to ivypaw again. she also feels responsible for this.

cinderheart is distraught, because she really did care about dovepaw, and it’s been three days, her scent tracked to the tunnels but it was raining and no one has seen her since, so she’s probably dead.

ivypaw, grieving, refuses to accept that dovepaw is dead and she hunts outside the tunnel mouth until she thinks she hears something.

dove and ivy reunite and return to the clan. ivypaw’s convictions that dovepaw needs to be protected are strengthened, and dovepaw knows she failed in her goal. everyone is happy to see them.

we get some fretting about how washed out everything is, how the rain didn’t even stick because the soil is so dry. that’s a cue to the drought, which will be a bigger deal next book.

section five: book two — fading echoes

honestly i’m not attached to book titles, but this works here too.

so this book is split between lionblaze and hollyleaf. i’m pretty sure hollyleaf is out of the caves by now, but i haven’t decided if she’s rejoined the clans. she feels strongly for fallen leaves: they’re listed as mates on the warrior cats wiki, and if hollyleaf and jayfeather are both going to have ancient dead ghost mates, she’s at least going to visit hers. her end goal is to get him to starclan so they can be together after her death.

anyway, this is beavers book. i don’t have a ton to say about it because it’s pretty much the same, except hollyleaf goes with dovepaw and cinderheart and she’s our pov as dovepaw falls for tigerheart because (and this is my understanding of her logic in the books to begin with): “big fluffy tom is safe fluffy tom.”

lionblaze feels the disconnect between him and ivypaw, but he can’t help that cinderheart is away. ivypaw is clearly preoccupied, but he can’t tell with what. his larger conflict is in finding the third cat.

this isn’t a filler book, per say. the tree falls and that happens, and lionblaze gets thrown into rebuilding camp. ivypaw feels doubly abandoned. lionblaze tries to win her affection, but he doesn’t know how.

beaver crew gets back. dovepaw has stars in her eyes. ivypaw is close to passing her warrior assessment, but lionblaze can tell she’s holding back because she doesn’t want to leave dovepaw. dovepaw can hunt by now, but she can’t really split her attention.

she’s scared of going into battle.

after a border skirmish where dovepaw just freezes, ideas of her being a medicine cat are raised.

ivypaw sees tigerheart in the dark forest, and she goes all bluefur being like “snowfur ur bf has rabies” on dovepaw, who is not happy with this. ivypaw pushes dovepaw to be a medicine cat because of this. the sisters are squabbling and barely talking.

book ends.

section six: book three — distant whispers

again not 100% sold on the names.

so this is cinderheart’s book, and she’s going to figure this out, because dovepaw and ivypaw are falling apart, and dovepaw deserves to be a warrior. so she convinces firestar to let her and lionblaze take ivypaw and dovepaw to the mountains. she believes, well, i’m not sure i haven’t worked that part out.

anyway, they go.

the tribe is like “yeah the world sure is a big place with a lot to look at. that’s why only half of us look.” (i know that’s not exactly how cave guard’s work but close enough.)

cinderheart is like “hm. what if, dovepaw, just a thought, what if you just, you know, avoid battles? i know it’s part of clan life but judging by the two souls crammed into my body, i’d say there’s been very few major conflicts over this and, reasonably, you should be able to avoid being chosen for battle control.”

dovepaw says, “but cinderheart, i’m a main character! unless i’m being punished or taught a lesson about duty, i’ll be automatically registered for every battle patrol until i die!”

cindheart says, “you’re right, i’m so sorry. hey ivypaw, [whoops yeah ivy and lion are here too sorry i forgot to mention that] what if you two learn to work as a team.”

dovepaw says, “i don’t want to work with her.”

ivypaw says, “that’s a great idea.”

because dovepaw talks very quietly (she forgets not everyone can hear as well as her), ivypaw wins.

they spend at least a month in the tribe, maybe longer, i’m not sure. eventually, they decide to go back. dovepaw is never happy in the tribe, it’s way too loud all the time, but she does manage to sort out her hunting issues, and so fighting is left.

so there’s still a big push for dovepaw to consider maybe being a medicine cat.

but that is not this au. this is the jaywing/dovefeather au where they basically switch roles. there’s a really good fic where dovepaw goes to riverclan for a while that i love and anyway this au is a as-close-as-possible to canon au for me to rectify my issues with dovewing in canon (nominally, i don’t have any, but i think her character was displayed…curiously, and i’m mad about the prophecy.)

ivypaw is team medicine cat. cinderheart and lionblaze are struggling. cinderheart eventually teaches dovepaw an extension of the techniques of the tribe, and they work out that dovepaw can kind of, track the cats she’s with to anchor herself in battle. this means dovepaw no longer is tied to ivypaw for her success, and so they both become warriors.

while they’re still in the tribe, ivypaw has time away from the dark forest and lionblaze finally puts two and two together, and that basically makes up the b-plot for the back half of the book, lionblaze trying to get ivypaw to admit what’s going on and then trying to help her.

dovewing’s senses begin to return but since they come back slowly she’s able to manage them. so she quickly excels in hunting.

ivypool cottons on to the dark forest breeding loyalty between its members, not to their original clans, and realizes that this is going to threaten all four of the clans.

end book with a bang, end first arc. we will now turn to the actually-have-more-than-two-braincells crew (sorry cinderheart, you don’t deserve to be in this group, but your prefix doesn’t end in -y, so you can’t be with jay/holly/ivy in the brainy crew.)

section seven: arc 2 (summary)

so this arc is when the main conflict (dark forest battle) becomes obvious. dovewing’s problems have been sorted out, so she’s pushed into BGCH for a little bit while the smart adults sort things out.

book three ends with ivypool realizing the dark forest isn’t a personal problem, but a clan-group (like, all of the clans together? not sure how to call it) sized problem. ivypool, jayfeather, and hollyleaf together manage to sort out a lot of the dark forest’s eventual plan, and they try to sort out a way to solve it. then the battle happens. that’s basically the summary?

in here, the clans start working together way sooner and the prophecy comes out way faster.

section eight: book 4 — the forgotten character

alright, hollyleaf is liberated from BGCH. actual title is still the forgotten warrior.

hollyleaf and ivypool start to bond, and hollyleaf is convinced all the clans need to know about what’s up.

ivypool disagrees, and they talk about it like rational people.

hollyleaf and fallen leaves are still cute.

jayfeather has his timetravel thing in this book so he can do flametail’s job in the next book. he gets to talk to hollyleaf and fallen leaves about it.

i don’t think i’d mess with jayfeather and briarlight’s relationship in this au, because i think it’s sweet in canon as is, but you know i have thoughts about half moon and briarlight. anyway, jayfeather gets his book next, this is about hollyleaf.

fallen leaves helps hollyleaf learn to control, idk, spirit dream travel? jayfeather helps with this too. hollyleaf has to share extra hard with jayfeather because she took up a disproportionate amount of time in lionblaze’s book.

so anyway, hollyleaf is learning to travel into the dark forest. similar to the way dark forest cats leave it? but in reverse. this is the main plot.

like the second book, it’s not really filler, so much as lower stakes, and like the second book, i don’t have a ton to say about it because the plot is self evident. unfortunately, hollyleaf has the two “chill” books. sorry bb.

anyway, this is building into jayfeather going all angry old man yells at sky at starclan next book, so the biggest conflict in this book is hollyleaf realizing she can just, leave. she can go back in time the way jayfeather did, but on purpose, save fallen leaves, and they can be alive.

i mean, that wouldn’t actually work, not the least because i’m not keen on hollyleaf being a reincarnation, espcially in the reincarnation-lite universe, but also because she can’t save fallen leaves, then he wouldn’t be a sharpclaw, not really, and like a whole host of other issues but anyway

at the end of power of three, hollyleaf runs away from her problems. this book is about her standing up to defend them.

i don’t know if she explicitly breaks up with fallen leaves, but they have a falling out that won’t get resolved until after the great battle. this is a mutual/not mutual thing where they both know that fallen leaves is stopping hollyleaf from fully committing to helping her clans now, but they love each other.

relationship conflict that isn’t forbidden romance.

speaking of, ivypool getting close to hollyleaf means that the two of them start to reconnect with their siblings. hollyleaf’s actions alienated her from jayfeather and lionblaze and she kind of just was sad and apologetic but they didn’t want to forgive her.

(sorry hollybush, says jayfeather,

that’s not my name, says hollyleaf,

oh, says jayfeather, guess i forget. well anyway, i have a new sister now. her name is dovewing.

dovewing?, says hollyleaf. but you don’t like her.

it’s okay, says jayfeather, she never tore my family to shreds and then abandoned me to deal with the fallout.)

(jayfeather and hollyleaf always seemed closer to me than lionblaze and either of them, until hollyleaf’s whole event. anyway he remains petty about everything and lionblaze stands by him because, well, he’s not wrong, also dovewing is important to cinderheart so he feels like he should be on her side on this which means jayfeather’s side. even though cinderheart is friends with hollyleaf look i said lionblaze is a loveable dumbass already, didn’t i?)

so anyway hollyleaf is sad and ivypool sees that and is like “hm maybe i shouldn’t be a petty bitch for no reason” and this is fine until after this series is over when dovewing and tigerheart are like “bitch we gon b together”

dovewing’s emotions get jayfeather to, well, not go back on his actions, but recognize hollyleaf is the most effective person to work with. because lionblaze and dovewing are just. so dumb.

and yeah this book ends with things feeling almost hopeful.

section nine: book 5 — sign of the moon

i cannot overstate how little i care about the titles of these books.

anyway, jayfeather and cinderheart.

i don’t have a ton of thoughts about this one. jayfeather reunites starclan, cinderheart helps convince ivypool and dovewing to work together. this is the book where clans find out about the propechy but not the dark forest that is for next book

they know something is coming, but everyone agrees not to give ivypool away yet. they like her, you know, alive.

anyway, i don’t have much to say because it’s pretty obvious what happens, because this is just a bunch of events from other books crammed into this book, now, and they’ve been written and i don’t see the need to make many changes.

cinderheart and lionblaze have kit drama, maybe? cinderheart counsels dovewing about tigerheart, maybe? my point is it’s not super important.

the book ends with the two warriors to every camp. and dovewing, jayfeather, and lionblaze, are going to get split up.

this is my biggest change so far imo because it’s the most plot relevant.

dovewing is going to shadowclan with ivypool. jayfeather is going to windclan with…i’m not sure yet? i don’t want him going to riverclan because leafpool has ties to riverclan and, well, i want jayfeather to get a chance to stand on his own. and lionblaze goes to riverclan, with either cinderheart or hollyleaf.

jayfeather is super grumbly about this, but admits that it’s important as a show of unity, and also, he’s pretty functional in wind clan? like they’re all playing to their strengths.

jayfeather learns to navigate pretty quickly, dovewing appreciates quiet and also not being that-strange-cat who everyone is super careful around, and lionblaze is big and gregarious and enjoys riverclan being chill and friendly. so yeah, people get a chance to chill and be happy.

ivypool is in position to be angsty next book.

end book.

section ten: book 6 — the last hope

despite my claim that the biggest change is sending the three to different clans, i don’t have a lot to say about it.

basically, well, okay

first, we see ivypool and dovewing again. reminder that last time we were in one of their heads, they were apprentices. in book one.

dovewing couldn’t even hunt last time we had her pov.

so there’s a few chapters to some characterization that happens. dovewing is no longer anxiety child. she’s somewhat shy, she’s soft spoken, but she’s not skittish. you can’t surprise her. and she’s intense. she’ll just stare at you with wide eyes if you come talk to her until you say something she wants to respond to.

ivypool sees why dovewing and tigerheart are good together. she’s still not supportive, but, like, he understands her. he doesn’t treat her like she’s fragile, but he also is kind and forgiving and soft to her.

plus he’s a total simp for dovewing. that helps.

anyway, ivypool gets along fairly well in shadowclan. i don’t have ton of thoughts about this.

ivypool, hollyleaf/cinderheart, and jayfeather’s companion, as well as half of the other cats away on missions, are acting as messengers between their host clans and their home clans. that’s how ivypool gets to find out about info. they meet on the island every morning. or something.

anyway, this bit is where i most hate the set up of this with two pov per book hard cap because it’d be cool to see into everyone else’s head but that’s for novellas and side stories.

the battle happens.

everything sucks. dovewing has basically committed to tigerheart, but bramblestar’s storm messes with the timeline.

and that’s pretty much it.

section eleven: what’s next?

so i swore i wasn’t starting new fic and then i thought of this and now i do want to write it so, maybe?

the most important thing is:

tl/dr: the reason dovewing shouldn’t have been a prophecy cat is because she’s not the kin of firestar’s kin.

#dovewing #ivypool #jayfeather #cinderheart #lionblaze #hollyleaf #warrior cats #cloudtail's daughter #mine #txt #22nd #February #2021 #February 22nd 2021 #q #essay #long #lovewing dovewing

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gondorosi · 5 years ago

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How do you see Jon's personality being if he had been raised by his biological parents?

I have to thank you for this ask since it ties perfectly into something I’ve been thinking of - just how much of Jon, Dany and Arya’s personalities are tied to innate characteristics vs those molded by environment? Since you’ve asked me about Jon specifically, let’s focus on him.

Background:

Before anything, we have to establish Rhaegar and Lyanna’s situation. Since you mention both parents, I assume this means you consider a world where Lyanna is Rhaegar’s queen in King’s Landing. Lyanna’s political position will greatly influence Jon’s own experience, upbringing, and as a result, his personality. Does Rhaegar somehow get away with having two Queens? Is Elia alive and estranged from Rhaegar (the only likely minimally happy scenario imo)? Is Jon considered to be a trueborn Targaryen or a legitimized bastard? Does Lyanna have a say in the matters of the Kingdom or is she relegated to Dragonstone/a renovated Summerhall? If Elia is alive, does she allow a relationship between Rhaenys, Aegon and Jon? Is Rhaegar disappointed that Jon didn’t turn out to be his Visenya? Does Rhaella survive Daenerys’ birth?

For this post, let’s assume that Lyanna is (a) Queen, has a definitive say in matters, and has a proper loving relationship with Rhaegar. Jon is allowed to have a normal sibling relationship with Aegon and Rhaenys and Elia is a better human being than Catelyn. Rhaella survives, so does Dany and both are active presences in the Red Keep.

A Mother’s Love

Let’s get to the most obvious difference a life as a Targaryen would have entailed - Jon would have his mother. Even in her absence, so much of Jon is Lyanna - his quick temper, his sarcasm, his championing of the underdogs, his ability to judge character. A world in which Lyanna is alive to bring up her boy is likely to result in a firm, principled, headstrong young man completely devoted to his mother. Not too different from what we have, right?

In this world, however, Jon would have no reasons to hide in the shadows. If he stays in the background, it would be solely because he doesn’t wish to be in the limelight, not because he feels it’s not his place.

Prospects

Our first introduction to a Jon action is when he discounts himself from the list of Ned’s children so that the pup count adds up, and Bran doesn’t have to see the pups being killed. That’s:

Quick thinking

Big brother of the year

These aren’t character traits which can be molded. Thus I’m led to believe that a Jon raised by Lyanna and Rhaegar would be no different in these aspects. However, a different social dynamic to being the Bastard of Winterfell would mean:

He does not need to hide his intelligence or ability for fear of attracting anyone’s wrath

He doesn’t have to be constantly and forcibly reminded of his place on the fringes of the family and thus forms a more natural relationship with his siblings

He actually has prospects and options of futures in front of him

That last factor would mean that he has the freedom and ability to indulge his natural curiosity and wonder about the world. This is the guy who was mesmerized by the beauty of the snow stretching all the way to the horizon beyond the wall. This is the guy who took the initiative of learning all he could about Free Folk culture because he wanted to know them, when as a spy all he needed to find out was their attack strategy. This is the boy who lamented never being able to see all the places in the world since he had effectively barricaded himself.

Jon is a naturally restless soul with a thirst for adventure and knowledge - in this he’s the perfect combination of both his parents. Jon Snow, the Bastard of Winterfell would never have had the ability and freedom to indulge his wanderlust and thirst for adventure, but as a Prince of the realm and with his parents actively encouraging it, I think he will barely stay put in King’s Landing once he’s allowed to travel on his own.

Relationships

It’s quite entertaining to speculate the differences between big brother Jon and little brother Jon. I would like to imagine Rhaenys and Aegon not being tainted by Court gossip about Jon (and believe me there’s no happy universe I can think of where Jon’s birth would NOT be a scandal for the ages) and considering him to be their little brother.

I do see a little brother Jon being a bit of a brat - his escapades as a child in Winterfell with Robb certainly give enough fodder to imagine that. In case Rhaegar allows contact between his son and his cousins in the North (and he better, else Lyanna is going to have WORDS), Jon would likely get along with Robb just as well as he does in canon, albeit now they will be on a level playing field socially.

I don’t know about Dany really - they are both similar enough fundamentally that I see them getting along fabulously in any and every iteration but I’m not sure about anything more than being each other’s closest confidantes. To me the Jonerys jumps out due to the parallels of their experiences and their decisions and ultimate journeys. In the absence of that - I can’t say.

His relationship with Arya will likely be different as well - even if he’s fostered at Winterfell for a time he would not have been present in Arya’s life since birth and the closeness they share at being the ‘outsiders’ of the family would likely not exist. I still think she would be his favourite cousin - but a royal cousin is different from a beloved brother.

Another aspect a Jon who is raised in King’s Landing will not be able to avoid - he will be the subject of rigorous matchmaking exercises. As a bastard of the North he had nothing to offer anyone thus wouldn’t have been considered even for a third daughter of a minor house. As the second son of the King, however, he will be the one all Houses focus on once Aegon is betrothed.

You know, at the end of it, there’s so many ways Jon could have turned out differently. Lyanna could have still died birthing him and he would have been thrown to the wolves of the Court as a child. He could have gone through life as a royal bastard and faced continuous comparisons to the Blackfyres. He could have grown up the Crown Prince if Tywin picked the wrong side before waiting for the result of the Trident. In every iteration though I have to ask myself, would I like a Jon Snow who did not face all that he has and turn out as he has?

A person is the product and the sum of their circumstances, their experiences and their innate makeup. One is no less important than the other - thus a Jon who grew up with his parents but without Robb and Arya, without Ned and without the Night’s Watch would be a very different person than the one I know and love. He might still have turned out to be one of my favourites, but I think I’m ok with the one we have.

#jon snow #ask #asoiaf #lyanna stark #rhaegar targaryen #what if

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scatteredcloud · 4 years ago

Text

Top Surgery: What Really Happens pt3 -Recovery

I’m on day 4 of recovery, and it’s been a lot of trial and error as to what works and what doesn’t. Like I said in part 1 and part 2, there’s no one solution, so try to anticipate what works for you but be ready to adapt if it doesn’t. I was pleasantly surprised to have over prepared because my pain level is quite low, but that seems to be the exception not the rule. A lot of the supplies mentioned here overlaps with what I said in part 1, this guide is about logistics.

Getting Ready - Day Of - Drains

-Plan to be sleeping, a lot. I get pretty down on myself when I sleep in, because it makes me feel like I’m not being productive, but what’s productive in the days after surgery is taking care of yourself.

Don’t expect to be back to normal within a few days. The way my surgeon broke it down was this:

1 week post op you’re back to 50%

2 weeks post op, you’re back to 80%

4 weeks post op, you’re back to full capacity.

This is a generalization of course, but recovery starts slowing down after week 2, which is why it’s so important to rest up during the first few weeks (especially because that’s when you take time off) You also have to get used to sleeping on your back, which I don’t think anyone actually does naturally. Weighted blankets are super nice for this if you have one, since it keeps you from tossing and turning. I have to take sleep meds anyways, but the pain killers they give you also knock you out.

-Speaking of meds... This was probably what I was the least informed on going into surgery.

This is my full list of medications and side effects that I’ve experienced. Asterisks next to what I was prescribed, I’ve linked to the drugs.com site for more information side effects and general info.

*Oxycodone- 5mg: as needed, every 6 hrs (painkiller)

Reminder that these are opiates, and appropriate caution should be taken. These made me particularly sleepy, and constipated. They also mess with your eyes, I have 20/20 vision but for the first time in my life I understood what it was like to be far-sighted.

*Cefadroxil- 500mg: every 12 hrs (antibiotic)

Obviously it’s important to eat in general while recovering, but also, antibiotics are the only mandatory medication and trying to take them on an empty stomach makes you super nauseous.

*Ondansetron- 4 mg: as needed , every 8 hrs (anti-nausea)

This was substituted for Zofran, not entirely sure why but I think it was something about interactions with other drugs.

Generic acetaminophen- 500mg, as needed every 6 hrs (tylenol)

You cannot have Aspirin, or any over the counter NSAID. They thin the blood and promote excessive bleeding. Aspirin, Motrin, Aleve, Ibuprofen, Excedrin, and Advil are all off limits.

Sennosides- 15mg- as needed (laxatives)

In addition to constipation from other side effects, it’s also just harder in general to get it out because of how sore your muscles will be. There’s no shame in it, it happens to the best of us.

Diphenhydramine- 50mg- 1 a day (sleep aid)

-Altered mobility, what’s up with that? There are going to have to be some life style changes you make to enable getting around your space.

This is my set up:

Laptop, water, trash can, meds and extra supplies all within reach

Extra pillows to support my back

Lamp with a on/off button extension cord. I think it was originally for christmas trees but it’s nice to not have to reach up and turn the knob

Power strip with chargers

I’m sleeping on the couch because it’s 1. Closer to the bathroom and 2. My actual bed is a loft which isn’t exactly surgery friendly.

I covered the couch cushion in an extra sheet to make it less scratchy and in case of any leakage (There hasn’t been any though)

The name of the game is accessibility. I’ve been lucky to be able to move around and be up and about, but it’s still better to have everything within arms reach. The only issue I’ve run into with my set up is that sitting up is pretty difficult. Particularly with how wide this couch is, it’s hard to maneuver myself up and out

Also, get used to squatting down to pick things up, instead of leaning over. When you squat, you aren’t engaging your torso at all to reach something, which is ideal here.

Try and stick to chairs that have some sort of back support. I’m used to sitting on stools in my work area and that’s just not sustainable after surgery.

-Hygeine Full stop, you’re going to have to be gross for awhile. This (I suspect) is also why they ask you to go off hormones for awhile before surgery, because I’m definitely a lot less sweaty and gross than I would be otherwise.

You can’t shower until you get your drains out, and the ok from your doctor. This is to reduce the risk of infection and to keep soap out of your sutures. Shower gel is pretty much a no until everything is healed, unless it’s like ultra-sensitive, and unscented.(Double check with your doctor though) My boyfriend came over two days ago to sponge me down and wash my hair. Bar soap works well, because it’s easier to control where the soap goes, and it’s more sustainable.

Do not try and bathe alone. Period. It’s not worth the trouble or pain, and you run the risk of getting things in your sutures

Washing your hair is going to be a bit of a debacle. If you have longer hair, brushing it regularly will help distribute the natural oils and help prevent them from building up. I personally don’t like dry shampoo, but others swear by it, so worth a shot. I’ve also talked to people who treated themselves to a salon visit, to get their hair professionally washed which also sounds lovely. My boyfriend and I managed with me leaning over the edge of the tub and him pouring water over my head. The important thing is to keep soap from running down to your chest.

For me, washing my face is really important to feeling clean. My skin is naturally oily, and I had to adapt my routine a bit, because my normal method is splashing a lot of water on my face. I’ve been learning to take the more civilized route and using a damp cloth to wash off the cleanser, like probably everyone else was already doing :P

I’ve seen a lot of people recommending wet wipes, to at least pull some of the gross off, and if that works for you go for it. I’ve only used them when I take off my compression vest to get some of the oil off of my chest gently.

-Your new chest Other surgeons wrap their patients up differently, but the only rule for me was not to wash the area, and that I had to have the vest on while I slept. Fingers crossed tumblr doesn’t nerf this one but this is what my situation looks like.

(CW: Stitches If you’re sqeamish, you might want to skip this, I certainly would)

The yellow sponge things are sewn on top of my nipple grafts to keep them in place, and then there are strips of medical tape holding the sutures together. Because they’re sewn to my body, I don’t have to worry about them shifting around, but nudging them even a little bit really hurts. The area on my chest went from super sensitive, to itchy and tender, to itchy and numb, to numb and tender. All of your nerves are either completely fried or severed, so even the most delicate sensations can feel really uncomfortable. My chest wasn’t ever particularly sensitive before surgery, so it’s weird being sensitive (but also not?) now.

When the compression vest is closed, I just have a couple layers of gauze pads on top of the stitches to keep them protected. I don’t really have any bandages, although I’m pretty sure that’s not the standard. The compression helps everything fuse back together correctly and squeezes out the fluids into the drains. (I’m making a post on that soon, I’m waiting to get my drains out first.)

I’ve left my vest unbuckled the past couple days to get some room to breathe, but I kept it closed the first 3 days and that seems to really help with minimizing the drainage. (The less drainage the better)

EDIT: I took my first shower in a week here’s my advice for that

Showers- As relieving as it is, you do still need to take some precautions. My shower is a stall with a fixed shower head, if you have a removable one then you’re in good shape- just get someone to get it down for you first. (No reaching over your head!)

- If your nipple grafts are still healing (which they probably will be if you got them), I highly recommend “transparent dressing covers”. Mine came in the box of extra gauze I got from CVS, but an overlarge water proof bandaid will probably do as well. They’re essentially just cling wrap (saran wrap w/e) for injuries. Theoretically you couple put them over the whole cuts? Imo that’s more trouble than it’s worth, you really can’t feel anything- but do what makes you comfortable.

-As always, different instructions for different procedures etc etc- the goal is to keep soap away from the incisions. Water is ok, but I was trying to avoid that as much as I could too. The good news is that all of the nerves are severed, so the discomfort isn’t as bad as getting a normal cut wet in the shower

- This took some experimenting, but the optimal position for me was back to the wall the dials are on. That way you can lean over (from the waist not the chest!) to get your hair in the water, without risking it dripping onto you. That being said, I have pretty thick, med length hair, so adjust as needed.

- I’ve been trying to switch to bar soap anyways, because it’s more sustainable, but personally it worked well for me. (Definitely make sure you can get a good grip on it though, pain killers can make you clumsy and it’s a bitch to crouch down to get it if it drops) My instructions were specifically to keep shower gel away from the incisions, so I just used bar soap.

- I didn’t do this, but retrospectively, keeping a clean sponge or a wet cloth on hand to get your arm pits would be pretty choice. Since you can’t lift your arms and in trying to keep soap away from your chest, it’s hard to get your under arms damp enough to get soap on, and then harder to rinse out.

- Getting out of the shower, make sure you have towels in easy reach. I’m pretty vigorous trying to dry off, because I hate the feeling of being wet, so I had to consciously slow myself down. Drying your hair goes more or less the same way as washing it, bending from the waist. There’s probably another method (getting someone else to help you ideally lmao) but because your can only really move your fore arms, this is the only thing I’ve been able to find that brings everything within reach.

- If you have a hair dryer, it works wonders for drying off hard-to-reach places. I was having a hard time getting my back fully dry, but pop that baby on and your warm and dry in seconds.

Please let me know if you have any specific questions, my dms/ask box are always open, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten things.

#trans #transgender #top surgery #post op #top surgery guide #trans health #post op recovery #double incision

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illegiblewords · 5 years ago

Text

Emet-Selch: Illness and Accountability

I’ve seen some posts where people are trying to argue that no compassion/sympathy/remembrance should be paid to Emet-Selch because of the total annihilation of multiple worlds he participated in.

People gonna feel how they’re gonna feel lol, but my opinion has a bit more gray I think. Buttloads of analysis and some psychobabble under the cut, spoilers up the wazoo.

- Obviously causing apocalypses and encouraging the worst qualities in people to that end is evil, unacceptable, and had to be stopped. Imo even if that ends in his death. That level of tragedy is horrific.

- Amaurot’s tragedy is still immense, and the nature of Amaurotine society and the stunted nature of its inhabitants (being unequipped to deal with loss, their own/humanity’s evils, or other forms of suffering) only further ensured that the unsundered would not be mentally or emotionally capable of dealing with the aftermath of that loss. A regular person would have been devastated. Amaurotines were left with zero ability to cope.

- Tempering makes it SIGNIFICANTLY worse. Emet-Selch is pretty blasé about it yeah, but he is not a reliable source on this subject. Consider that when lesser primals like Ifrit, Leviathan, or Titan temper people they need to be killed without question. They often aren’t even considered themselves anymore. Zodiark is to them what the sun is to idk Mars. Wouldn’t go so far as Mercury but it’s still an insane difference in power, intensity, etc. Lahabrea shows indications of being more heavily effected than Emet-Selch and Elidibus but honestly the only reason they’re not going “your words are my bread” 24/7 as per Ifrit thralls is probably specifically because they’re unsundered Amaurotines. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t hugely warped.

- Imo Emet-Selch has absolutely been driven insane. Not hallucinations necessarily, but honestly he’s right at the brink of that level. He has the ability to more or less take things from his head and materialize them externally, and he’s gone full throttle with that for Amaurot. He has a fake place where he can make believe things are still okay and his friends are still alive and he still has a home to go to. He also vomited out his PTSD nightmares and sometimes subjects himself to that experience again. It would not surprise me even SLIGHTLY if pre-Scions showing up he’d used that dungeon to try and figure out from his memories if there was anything he could have done differently, anyone he could have saved. The whole area existing basically indicates he’s developed a level of masochism. He’s been doing this for at least several hundred years if not more, if the Ondo are to be believed. EDIT: I may have misremembered and have timeline questions about this now. Need to investigate further to determine how long fake-Amaurot existed and in what degree of completion. Emet-Selch might be good about covering this up in conversation for the most part, but that doesn’t make it any less real. My opinion on very specific kinds of insanity, this one included, is that responsibility is somewhat alleviated and it becomes more the product of the illness/situation rather than a person being horrible. None of that means that the results are less terrible or that the person shouldn’t be stopped by whatever means necessary. It just means that the personal judgment on the perpetrator is different from what it would be if they were in total control of their faculties.

- All of the above said, the posts circulating where fans call him a little bitch and fantasize about saying they won’t remember read a bit like kicking someone when they’re down to me. Fictional situations yeah, but honestly there is not a single person in the scenario who isn’t suffering in horrific ways and doing that helps none of them. To me it reads kind of like an extension of revenge fantasies that seem to be popular these days, and honestly the revenge mentality is something I’m pretty exhausted with. This probably comes a lot from me having seen more angry people around in-general (not mainly FFXIV), and it just kind of makes me sad. Seeing how many fans were able to find compassion and mercy in them for Emet-Selch was a huge relief for me in light of that. It’s probably in part because of how obvious it is that he’s depressed out of his mind and dealing with several millenias worth of PTSD. The sleeping thing screams it pretty loud in a way I suspect a lot of people recognized.

- I seriously, seriously think that part of what was going on with Emet-Selch was on some level being aware that he’d become a monster and what he was doing counted as murder. The reason his reaction at the Ladder was shown and important is because it exposes his process of recognizing the reality of sundered people still counting and needing to actively remind/convince himself otherwise. It is way too neat and convenient for him to know that the way to get his world and people back is to sacrifice countless sundered through rejoinings, but none of those people are real anyway so it’s not a difficult choice.

The reality is way more ugly and horrifying, and my theory is he’s unable to deal with the weight of it. Knowing that not only were all the lives he ended real, often innocent people--they were pieces of his own beloved people would 100% destroy him past functioning. If he doesn’t have that denial mechanism in place he isn’t going to be able to survive, much less save anyone.

Another fan explained it really brilliantly imo with:

He probably has a mantra he repeats to himself, every time he feels himself starting to form an attachment to one or more of these pitiful, ephemeral beings: "They aren't truly alive, they aren't real. Things will be better when they are whole - better for THEM, even. This is for the good of us all..." Especially NOW; the sunk cost fallacy is STRONG. To stop now would be unthinkable. Even if they were willing to acknowledge the murders they've committed, if they were to cut things off all those murders would have been in vain, cruel sacrifices for no purpose. Eight worlds full of life extinguished, and that doesn't even include the horrendous loss of life on the Source with each Rejoining. They may feel they OWE it to those lost to see things through - and each new murder is another obligation on the pile...

- Sometimes situations can just be fucking tragic and sad for all involved. Anger is usually easier because it feels powerful, directed, and simpler while sadness tends to come from a more helpless, hopeless, and uncertain place.

- Even if on the off chance that Emet-Selch was totally sane, not compromised, and just plain evil with zero gray involved that would warrant sympathy... the people of Amaurot were innocent. Why be like “I’m not gonna remember shit :)” on those people? Imo heroes should remember ALL of the innocents lost... and the villains who couldn’t be saved too. It’s tragic when it comes to loss like that. Necessary sometimes, but still tragic.

- Separate but slightly related, I am side-eyeing the people who try to go “X is a stand in for Y real world genocide group and if you have sympathy for X you support Y you monster” SO HARD YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Not every evil empire, even the totalitarian and fascist ones, are stand ins for specific real world regimes. Understanding doesn’t equal agreeing with or endorsing. Having sympathy for individual suffering, especially in fiction, also doesn’t mean that you support the person’s ideology and goals. As a society we desperately need to remember the difference between understandable versus justifiable. :/ And for what it’s worth, Garlemald specifically has bits and pieces of MAAAAANY different real world authoritarian governments using a range of strategies and positions.

Disclaimer I got no ill will toward people who been jumping on the “IDGAF” train but I disagree and needed to get my thoughts out haha. Didn’t want to go into full-debate with people who might not be looking for that in the post itself and don’t want to discourage others from exploring their own interpretations! Just figured airing my opinions this way might be aight. Like I alluded to I’m also coming from a place where I’ve dealt with really intense moral policing by fans in the past (not within FFXIV), so that definitely shapes my perspective some.

#emet selch #ascians #amaurot #final fantasy xiv #shadowbringers

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aspoonofsugar · 5 years ago

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Kunikida was inflicted by Q’s ability?! That wasn’t in the anime! Is that woman he’s hallucinating about supposed to be Sasaki from the Azure King arc? You said that Q’s ability causes people to confront “the thing they refuse to accept about themselves.” In Kunikida’s case, would that be his inability to save everyone?—BSD Chat Anon

Hello BSD Chat anon! Incidentally I like many of your thoughts!

Yes, Kunikida is one of the victims of the Guild’s plan to destroy Yokohama and the woman he sees is indeed Sasaki!

Nothing happens to him because Dazai and the others restrain him, so that he won’t become dangerous, but it is clearly significant that he has hallucinations of her among all people.

Unluckily I have yet to read the novel (even if I saw the anime episodes which adapted it), so my thoughts on this can’t be very elaborated.

You have probably already seen this post because you follow @hamliet’s blog, but I have tagged it just in case and for people who might be interested in an analysis of her character.

When it comes to Kunikida, I think Sasaki’s death is something which hit him for several reasons and especially because it is a challenge to his own ideals.

As a matter of fact both Sasaki’s crimes and her death are a result of strong ideals. She committed crimes in order to live up to and to avenge his dead partner AKA the Azure King.

According to Sasaki, he was a man moved by strong and positive ideals, but society prevented him from realizing them in all their beauty and so Sasaki helped him break the law in order to turn them into reality.

However, their scheme resulted in both him and innocent policemen losing their lives. What is more, Sasaki herself ends up killed by one of the victims’ son.

It is important to highlight that by the time the novel is set Kunikida is close to become like the AK. As a matter of fact he too has lost some faith in institutions and this is why he has chosen to join an organization which operates in a gray area like the ADA. If Kunikida keeps pursuing his ideals without ever questioning them he might end up both hurting others and himself.

At the same time, the novel makes clear that his ideals are what prevents him from developing strong bonds with others especially when it comes to romantic relationships:

He has spent so much energy to create the image of a perfect partner, that he can’t accept anything different and this of course ends up working against him.

Interestingly, this is the opposite problem Dazai has:

As a matter of fact Dazai is implied to be a lady killer, but it is clear that he has superficial relationships with all his partners and he is probably just using them to feel less lonely.

In short, both Kunikida and Dazai end up lonely because they can’t approach others earnestly. Kunikida expects his potential relationships to be ideal, while Dazai expects them to be casual ones.

Going back to Sasaki, the story makes clear that Kunikida feels strongly attracted by her and that the attraction is mutual. However, Sasaki has started a path of self-destruction she can’t stop and Kunikida is not able to help her nor to understand her until it is too late. Maybe if he had tried to grow closer to her before he might have been able to figure out which kind of person she was and this could have led to a different outcome.

In other words, Sasaki embodies the darkest aspect of Kunikida’s ideals. Let us underline that Kunikida is painfully aware of this side of his idealism. For example, he knows he might have to compromise on it and to embrace ruthless methods:

This is something he probably realized after the police’s failure to capture the AK alive. In that operation some agents lost their lives and Kunikida ended up searching a new path by joining the ADA. After he joins he tries to follow in Fukuzawa’s footsteps and this means that it might be necessary to take extreme measures sometimes (for example, Fukuzawa tells him to kill Dazai if Dazai were to turn out to be a threath).

However, Sasaki’s death adds a new layer to his self-awareness because it shows him that not only idealism is complicated to put into practice, but also that it can be damaging.

It is not sure, but his experience with Sasaki might very well be why Kunikida, despite his strong beliefs in what is wrong and what is right, ends up hesitating when it counts the most:

Interestingly, in both the scenes above Atsushi is the one who does what Kunikida would really want to do and Kunikida ends up following Atsushi’s lead.

This might very well be because Kunikida finds himself stuck between two generations and two developmental stages.

On one hand there is Fukuzawa who has found a good equilibrium between ideals and pragmatism. Fukuzawa will act both for the greater good and to protect his loved ones and he has no hesitation in understanding when it is the case to do one thing or the other. For example, he immediately acts to save Atsushi, while Kunikida himself would like to do so, but hesitates because of the ADA’s general situation. Similarly he won’t let Mori take advantage on a traumatized girl, but is ready to work with him to save Yokohama.

On the other hand there is Atsushi who is willing to put his life at risk to save others. By following this strong instinct he has managed to save people and to pursue Kunikida’s ideals in an earnest way. However, he has still to realize how self-destructive his pursue may be and how this behaviour is rooted in trauma.

Kunikida gives me the impression of being in the middle. He is still far from sharing Fukuzawa’s self-trust and he can’t ignore how self destructive idealism and selflessness can be. Interestingly, differently from the other two characters, he doesn’t really seem to have a particular violent side/past to reconcile. Maybe it is exactly because of this that his struggle lies elsewhere and that he has much more doubts than the other two characters. This may also be why Kunikida might appear more rigid than the other members of the ADA.

That said, the series makes clear that Kunikida’s path doesn’t lie in leaving his idealism behind, but rather in him finding a better way to apply it. This is because idealism like everything else is a weapon and it can be used positively or negatively.

Talking about weapons which can be used both well and badly we go back to Q’s ability and what it represents:

On Moby Dick Atsushi hallucinates and sees the headmaster. he wonders if it is an after-effect of Q’s ability, but imo it is left ambiguous because in the end this is not the only time Atsushi has this kind of experience. The headmaster talks about how Atsushi has left himself be tricked by illusions and ended up giving others fake kindness. This is a reference both to his previous experience with Q, but also to a deeper trait of Atsushi’s personality.

However, once he confronts Lucy in her room Atsushi says this:

He repeats the headmaster’s words, but shows how “imagination” and the ability to be flessible has not only negative effects, but also positive ones because it lets a person do things they would not have considered possible up until that point.

In this meta, I mentioned how this is something true for Lucy and her power as well:

In the end, the true value of her power did not lie in Anne’s strength or in using it to kidnap people, but rather in letting people escape boundaries (the ability is used to overcome the effects of time, to let Atsushi escape a room and to let both him and Kyouka move around despite being wanted). This is something which fits the idea of Lucy’s ability representing “an escape into one’s imagination”. After all, what does imagination do if not letting people escape boundaries? Lucy used it to isolate herself, but once she starts sharing her power with others, she becomes more powerful to the point that she is considered Dazai’s queen in the current arc.

However, this is not something which is true only for Lucy and Atsushi, but for every character and this makes sense in a series which explores fiction and literature and their effects on one’s life. These activities which are rooted in imagination can both help a person bond and grow, but can also lead them to isolate themselves in a non-existent world.

I want to suggest now that the same is true for ideals and so it can be applied to Kunikida as well. Ideals are rooted in one’s imagination as well and they can make a person single-minded and rigid, but they can also make one’s perspective wider.

Thank you for the ask!

#bsd #bsd meta #kunikida doppo #bungou stray dogs #asksfullofsugar #bsd chat anon #anonymous

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

Text

Beware: do not consume the following post in the belief that there’s a point being made with it or like. Any real reason to it whatsoever. LOL. Just something I’ve been pondering.

So, its interesting to me that there’s such a lack of fics about Bruce raising his kids with a partner. And by interesting I mean just that, lol....I’m not trying to imply anything, I’ve no specific opinions or conclusions on that myself, I’m just...thinking about it lately.

Literally just that. That I’m kinda intrigued by how rarely I see fics where Bruce has a co-parent that his kids would equally deem as much their parent as Bruce himself. There’s plenty of Bruce ship fics, with various of his children usually playing fairly large roles in the fics rather than it just being about Bruce and his ship partner. But not a lot that pursue or at least show that relationship through to the point where they’re effectively a co-parenting team rather than like...Bruce and his kids, plus Bruce’s new partner who likes his kids well enough but doesn’t really feel its their place to parent them.

There are a number of Batcat AUs where Bruce and Selina have a pretty established relationship from fairly early on in the timeline, but in general, most of them tend to have her take a pretty hands-off approach to the kids. They’re still pretty much viewed as Bruce’s kids. While she’s someone they might come to when they need to vent about Bruce and want a sympathetic ear, she’s not really front and center making the child-rearing decisions alongside Bruce. (In a lot of the ones I can think of, she usually doesn’t even officially live in the Manor herself, she’s more just a strong presence who will still leave to return to her own space when things get too chaotic around the house).

And even in fics where she and Bruce marry, she’s usually written as the stepmother to his kids rather than....hmm, I don’t mean to come across as disparaging of step-parents or to imply that they can’t be just as fully a parent to a child as any biological or adoptive parent.

Let me put it this way. Just to clarify, when singling out Selina, Clark and Talia as step-parents in fics I’m generalizing about here, the thing I’m really trying to get at is like....for instance, you might see plenty of Selina having a positive relationship with the Batkids, but you rarely see her being like...equally involved in the decision to adopt any of the kids. Either because they’ve all already been adopted, or the fic is set in a window where whichever kids are present have already been present in Bruce’s life when she officially begins a relationship with him, and the fic ends before any of the later kids come into his life.

And same thing with Bruce’s other partners I refer to in this post. Like, there’s plenty of fics where you can certainly assume that after the conclusion of the fic, any later kids to come into their lives, Bruce and his partner/spouse decide to take in together, are equally invested in giving them a home and a family, etc....I literally just mean, this isn’t something you usually SEE in any of these fics, which is part of what I find interesting and have been kinda musing on.

Anyway. Then there are a good number of Superbat fics, that usually diverge from canon before Clark ever starts forming a family with Lois, but retaining all the Batkids. My assumption is this is because the Batkids as a family unit are more established and still the ‘preferred’ family overall, and if you feel you have to pick and choose because say, you have trouble picturing or don’t want to write Tim and Kon and Jon and Damian as stepbrothers, etc, then I can understand why a writer would go that route.

But what’s interesting to me here is the way most of these are set timewise....there’s a number I can think of that have Bruce and Clark get together early on, when Dick is still Bruce’s only kid...but by and large, these ones almost always end when Bruce and Clark officially get together. Like, there may be plenty of Clark and Dick bonding scenes, but the fics themselves don’t normally progress past that ‘finally getting together’ resolution, so there’s no real delving into Bruce and Clark as actual co-parents for Dick and then the later kids.

And then on the other side of things, there’s a lot of Superbat fics I know of where Bruce and Clark only get together at a point comparable to ‘current’ canon. Where basically all Bruce’s kids are already present, Dick, Jason and Cass at least are all adults and living on their own, usually Tim as well, and so of course, they’re all very much Bruce’s kids by the time Clark even comes into the picture. Their child-rearing officially done and over with, so even when Clark eventually becomes the cool approachable stepdad or whatever, again, its that angle where he’s involved, but it wouldn’t really be accurate to describe him as a full co-parent with Bruce.

(As far as Bruce/Clark goes, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a Superbat fic that has them get together at some point in the middle of Bruce’s.....umm...child acquisition period, let’s call it. LOL. I just mean, there’s not really any fics I can think of where Bruce’s kids only include Dick and Jason so far, etc. Again, it tends to either be early on, when Dick is really young, or ‘contemporary’, where all the kids are around.)

Similar to the Superbat take is the BatLantern. I’ve seen a few of these, and again, you tend to see Hal and Bruce get together when Bruce has all his kids already and most of them are fully grown, or early on when its still just Dick. Actually, as opposed to Superbat, I think I have come across one Batlantern fic that was set when Dick was Nightwing and Jason was Robin, but that was it. However, there’s possibly a bunch of Batlanterns I haven’t even looked at, as I’m uh....not a Hal fan, so who knows what I’ve skipped over there. *Shrugs*

And then we’ve got Bruce and Talia fics, which.....I confess aren’t my favorite, as my general impression of fics that have them officially get together, live together, the whole nine yards, is that pretty much all the ones I’ve come across tend to heavily prioritize Jason and Damian as ‘their’ kids, and Dick and Tim are usually just kinda...there, or more often than not, the antagonistic foils/sources of family drama. Which. Umm. Not my thing, obviously.

And interestingly, a lot of Bruce/Talia fics I can think of, where they live and raise the kids together, like....there’s a lot of them that are full AUs, even No Capes/No Powers AUs, at least relative to how often Bruce’s other big ships go the No Capes route. My personal assumption there is because its the easiest way to separate Talia from being heavily associated with the League, even just in the fic’s past, whereas with Selina, Clark, etc, there’s less of a narrative concern how their comic-book pasts/origins might affect a relationship with Bruce and his kids. Who knows if I’m in the right direction there or not, its honestly just my gut theory, and doesn’t really matter, its just something I find interesting and worth noting.

But even in the full AUs here, even ones where Bruce and Talia are married, she’s largely written as the stepmother to his kids rather than someone who was already there and present as a co-parent throughout various kids’ adoptions or fosterings. Often she’ll be written as particularly close to Jason, or with a soft spot for him, but it tends to be kinda a ‘he’s her favorite of Bruce’s kids, aside from Damian, who is of course as much her kid as he is Bruce’s.’

Granted, there are some Bruce/Talia fics I’ve seen that come the closest to what I’d describe as them being full co-parents to several of the kids from the start of whenever they meet those kids in the fic. But lol, again, I’m not really a good source for delving into the specifics of those fics, as the ones I’ve come across IMO tend to prioritize getting Talia more involved early enough that Jason’s ‘hers’ as much as Bruce’s, and uh, most I’m familiar with aren’t too complimentary to Dick, who takes the role of the rude, resentful holdout who dislikes his wicked stepmother from the word go...which is when I usually go too, lol, so I can’t really claim to know how those fics handle later arrivals like Tim and Cass. But with maybe only one exception, I definitely don’t think I’ve ever seen a fic that tried to tackle Bruce and Talia co-parenting Dick as much as any of the others. Even the full AU fics where Dick doesn’t have his canon reasons for disliking/distrusting Talia, lol.

Anyway, that’s it, basically. That’s the post, the train of thought I’ve been pondering, though to what end...eh, I’ve got no clue. I rarely do, though. So, just putting it out there in case this is of interest to anyone else for any reason, lol. Hell, its not even that I particularly would like to see more fics of this vein myself - I’m honestly just not a huge Bruce shipper....I don’t honestly think I have a preference for any of his bigger ships, beyond just....disliking Hal, and refusing to give Morrison’s take on Talia (or on Damian’s conception) the time of day. Ugh. Morrison. Eww. Why is he. Just. Anyway.

Actually! One last interesting (to me) thought, lol....now that I’ve written this whole post and processed it, I can think of literally one and only one fic that I would describe as the Batkids being taken in and raised equally by Bruce and a co-parent....and the bizarre thing is its a Nolan-verse fic. The bizarre part is I hate the Nolan trilogy, like, with an intensity that burns like no other (look I know I say that a lot, and about a lot of things, but I swear its almost always true).

Anyway, literally the only thing I like about the Nolan trilogy is I have a soft spot for Hathaway’s portrayal of Selina. Which is pretty much the only reason I ever read this one fic where after the third movie, Bruce and Selina ‘start over’ in Europe and end up taking in and raising Nolan-verse versions of Dick, then Jason and then Tim together. Its actually a pretty damn compelling Selina, and I found the boys and their dynamic completely adorable, so I mean, not like that was the point of this post but its worth a read IMO. I know I have it on my bookmarks page and shouldn’t be too hard to find as its literally the only Nolan-verse fic on there, lol.

(Also, it was written over ten years ago, I’m pretty sure, which is why its just those three kids.....Damian hadn’t even been created yet at the time, and the author’s non-movie Batfam knowledge was mostly cartoon based, which is why Cass wasn’t present, which was pretty much my only complaint about the fic from what I recall).

Anyway, that’s it, that’s the post. These are my thoughts, I’m all done with them so here, you can have them.

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