#but imagine being him and having been called the f slur day in and day out through high school and being nowhere near finding your person

[theghostofashton]

.

[scentedpepper]

Attempted Vehicular Manslaughter

BILLY HARGROVE X MALE READER

Summary: Max Mayfield hosts a pool party.

Content Warnings: Use of the F-slur, Use of Queer in a derogatory manner, Injuries, Verbal Abuse, Abusive Household Dynamics, Reader makes a 'if I wanna kms' joke

Other Pairings: Nancy Wheeler x Male Reader, Jonathan Byers x Male Reader, Max Mayfeild x Male Reader, Mike Wheeler x Male Reader

AUTHOR NOTE(S):

Oh brother we got a chatterbox

Had a dream about this ya'll

Readers a little sassy

Reader has a little brother

Reader has a bit of savior complex

Readers also kinda impulsive?

It's 3 am

_________________________________________

The grass was rough and patchy in the backyard, filled to the brim with wilted daisies and weeds crawling through the sprinklers. It was hardly worth a note of much consideration, as there had been nothing of great importance to discuss. There were many trees boarding the house. Pine or oak, maybe. And one dying cherry tree that was a stand alone in the yard. That was about the extent of anything substantial past the old silver fence that matched your shoes.

Nearest the house, under the shade, were several lawn chairs designated for the so-called "chaperones". The older brothers and sisters of the tweens. But really, it was nothing more than a cover-up.

Something to appease the parents' of the Hargrove house because Max knew it was odd to be friends with a group of kids the same age as her brother. Even her mother, who'd tried to remain impartial to any situation, narrowed her eyes and shifted her purse tighter when the suggestion of more than a couple 17 year old's parading around her house came.

Your mom was just happy you got along, let alone made some real friends outside the books, and encouraged the notion. More parental control, she reasoned. Less chances you were off with someone who intended on trouble.

Of course, all the shit about fighting monsters and being on the brink of death with these same friends wasn't factored in.

But no one besides them and the sheriff's deputy needed to know that.

The first time you had met the kids was, admittedly, what one would refer to as a kerfuffle. Riled up and trying to be dominant. Of course, because Billy was there, it spiraled even farther, and someone's head nearly got bashed into a rock.

That someone being you of obviously, after you'd been goaded into the fight and decided to step up. And boy, did Billy hate to lose. Hated being talked down to by a smaller kid who barely had pimples left on his face, let alone bulk.

You put up a good fight. You had a mean hit, especially the lick you gifted to Billy's chest, knocking the wind out of him when it connected. There was a bruise on his ribcage for days after and all the satisfaction he could possibly imagine at knowing it was from you.

But then he nearly killed you so, things turned sour rather quickly.

Which led to a rather impromptu welcome into the group of misfits, the lot of them. Unannounced and unexpected, you marched into the party after your small break down. Ready to be let in and accepted.

Finding out about the Upside Down was a mere accident.

You hadn't gone out of your way to befriend a group of children. Hadn't expected much in regards to friendship period even after getting your ass kicked by Billy Hargrove. Let alone a lifetime, one built from the shared experience of the horrors that lurk just underneath town, attached to one particular boy of the group.

But here you were. Standing in the backyard of Max's home like an idiot with the sun bearing down at your back. The late summer day nearly reached over 100 degrees as the clock neared the noon hour. Something you might have missed otherwise if it wasn't for the black analog watching you closely every time you renetered the house for a drink.

The main gaggle of kids swam and screamed every few seconds, trying to drag you into a half-baked game of Marco Polo that had the older Hawkins teens eyeing each other with concern.

You tapped the top of your can to ease the anxiety, looking around the edge of the yard again, past Max's mother, who waved awkwardly and would come around every so often, offering drinks or food to you, Nancy, and Jonathan.

"Nervous?" Jonathan prodded in his way, looking up from the half eaten sandwhich Will had taken two large bites from, making sure he had gotten his fill and packing it away when he received two big thumbs up from his little brother before he rentered the pool.

"Ah. " You leaned against the lawn chair, rolling your neck before looking over. "Expecting Billy to jump out from one of these corners, " you gesture towards the many hiding places you have spotted in the yard. "cause a scene. "

Nancy shifted uncomfortably, twisting her skirt slightly. "Not yet, at least. " She added while fidgeting with the button over the waist. "I thought he'd show up at least half-way through this thing. "

"Yeah, " you agreed, "thats why I'm–"

"On edge?" Jonathan filled in for you, a soft smile gracing his lips as Will looked over.

"Ready, he means. " Mike piped up, his hand was fully plunged into the cooler chest, blindly shifting around the ice as he looked over at the three.

Something in the tension held firm in the pit of your stomach, because the only times that this happened was whenever a confrontation was supposed to take place.

And judging from all the past events that had occurred, however mundane or fantastical they may be, this was probably going to end badly in more than just a couple of ways.

You'd managed to keep pretty calm in the past concerning Billy. Kept a level head about whatever shit he'd decided to cause that week. But something felt wrong today. That air in your gut had been hard to shake.

And the fact he had yet to make an appearance so far, did very little in easing you. And apparently everyone else involved.

"Don't know what his fucking problem is. " You curse, sitting up in the chair, "Never waits long to start shit."

In fact, you can almost pinpoint the time he entered the premises, an excuse to blame him for the sudden tightening in your gut and the goosebumps on your skin. Yet, he hadn't entered the backyard once since he got home. He stayed holed up in his room the entire day and that much was evident every time you, or Nancy, or Jonathan or one of the kids entered the house and heard the rock music blasting from his bedroom.

He hadn't even made a shadow to have showed his face.

For hours you waited.

Hours of worry and unease ate away at your gut while the rest of the party commenced unhindered.

And yet, it seemed all but for nothing in the grand scheme of things. Because as the sun started to lower from its zenith, you and the rest grew more tired and eventually, the temperature started to cool to a point where splashing around in the pool was no longer appropriate.

The kids came clamoring out, dripping in more chemicals than water, screaming and laughing in the process. It was getting near the five hour mark by then.

Your mind was heavy when you stood up to go inside, nearly tripping when your eyes clashed with the eldest person in the home, the both of you freezing awkwardly in the middle of the walk.

Both you and Max's mother were silent in each others presence. Stoic if there was ever a word for it.

Neil always seemed to be staring off into nothing, zoned out to some far away place only those who drowned themselves in alcohol and other momentary pleasures existed. They didn't interact, besides maybe the occasional conversation starter, or nod in passing whenever a person came too close for an inch of comfort. Not unusual in your opinion of strained marriages.

You began to speak, went to get yourself out of this weird positioning you've seemed to found yourself in. But Susan beat you to it.

"Can you do me a favor?" She beckoned before turning around and trotting off into the kitchen. Already assuming you would listen. You usually did. There weren't any hidden agendas for her actions and nothing against you personally.

She held some power that you wished wasn't. You would take just about any job that required you to be away from the current obstacles of your personal life. But as she turned back to look at you with that indescribable air and knowing nod, she had beaten you.

"Whats up?" You replied, voice more gravely then you meant it to be as you walked up behind her. She was sticking something into the microwave.

"Bye, Y/N/N. " Nancy had emerged from the Hargrove bathroom when she stood on her toes to place a friendly kiss on your cheek before joining Jonathan.

"See ya, Nance. " You say as the dark haired girl glided away, passing a wave to Jonathan and then they were out the front door.

The house was mostly empty now with nearly all the kids back home, and Dustin and Max tucked away in her room, waiting for Dustin's mother. There was enough silence now that you were itching to leave. The house had settled quiet, but you couldn't describe it as comfortable. There was a ribbed blanket across the couch that had obviously been sat on by its dishelved look.

The TV was on but the volume had been lowered so much that you were better off listening to Billy's faint music from down the hall for entertainment.

Water rushed from somewhere on the other side of the house and the distinct slam of a door being pulled shut gave you the visual to what you were hearing. Your little brother, most likely. You'd seen him dip down the hallway like he was about to shit himself the moment Nancy exited the bathroom.

You shifted around, placing your backside agaisnt the counter as you found new things to look at. Languidly, you watched, senses picking out different things around the house to latch on to. The light green walls, the ugly brown patterns on the carpet, the hum of the refrigerator that, strangely enough, harbored no family photos, just magnets with various corny sayings.

Your eyes lingered on the fridge.

Everything here was simple. Blank like a fresh canvas of dry paint. Apart from the dishes left in the sink and the few items of clothing to be picked up off the ground, it felt oddly wrong for an occupied residence.

"Y/N?"

A shift in the environment rippled over your skin and something felt charged but not in a fearful sort of way. You're pulled from your small internal worry by the same woman from before.

"Billy hasn't come from his room all day, mind taking this to him?"

Susan's got a glass plate in her hand, slightly extended our towards you. It's filled at every turn with food she'd transfered from the tupperware after the ding of the microwave you hadn't quite heard.

That same gut feeling crawled up your insides again, but you blamed the way your throat tightened on the anxiety. Why it was something now and not earlier, you can't be sure.

But, if there's one thing you learned from movies and popular tv shows, it's never to interrupt the motherfucker when he's listening to rock. But, here's your excuse. So, with a small nod and the plate in your hand, you try to shake it all away.

Because the worst that could happen is you get your ass beat again.

Stepping up to the wood slated door gave your lungs a run for their money. It was as if all the air had been sucked from the atmosphere and the pressure collapsed the walls around you. Only breathing through your nose you shook the fear away with a raised fist to the door, clenched the plate in your opposite hand.

Bass rattled through the floor and past the wooden door, you're graced with the faint sounds of the guitar on the stereo. There were bits of vocals in the background, a baritone voice that spoke. And perhaps that was part of the appeal. Your fingers danced on the metal that resided at the entrance. It felt cool on your skin.

You knocked again after a few seconds. Nothing sounded on the other side of the door but you were still unsure if Billy could hear you above the music. Maybe he'd turn it down once his father returned from whatever place he'd ventured off to in the night. But you didn't exactly have that time to be waiting around, despite your own fathers late tendencies.

You took a moment to think if you should just leave the plate on the floor, let him pick it up, and try to call a ride. You exhaled quickly, shifting your balance onto your other hip.

Before you even touched the doorknob with a single digit, the music turned down significantly and suddenly the atmosphere was more intense than you'd anticipated.

Which, was the new normal.

But, still.

Things felt off. The pressure in your bones caused your limbs to rise upward, to defend yourself, to at least put yourself in some position that wouldn't leave you open to attack.

For what?

You didn't know.

Because all Billy did was peer up at you from the crack in his door. Nothing significant yet his stare was nothing less than striking. Those blue things could put the oceans to shame, rivaling even the sky in its vivid colors. They were a mirror.

They shifted to the food, briefly. Then immediately returned back to you as the speaker could barely emit its sound.

You watched as the boy straightened, sighed and then opened the door wider, leaving the frame unguarded as he trailed off into his room.

The door held open but his gaze disappeared into the space on his mattress, and the music lowered a touch, no longer loud enough to break the door from its hinges but loud enough that Billy had to raise his voice over it to be properly heard.

You took a cautious step forward after staring at the boys backside, his attire didn't leave much to imagination but his half nude state was the least of your discernment seeing as one, you were fashioned the same way and two, Billy Hargrove was wordlessly inviting you into his room.

You thought maybe this was some kind of trick, a ploy to get you cornered, so your eyes danced over him in brief, consistent glances as you proceeded forward.

He was sitting by his window, a cigarette stuck between his two fingers as he silently stared off into the the darkness the world outside offered.

It was strange. Seemingly off guard as he propped the knee of one leg against the window, giving a free range to his left to lean. Hair swept over the shoulder to show part of his sharp jawline, which dimmed only with each intake of the deadly nicotine.

The room was bland save for a few posters, white walls, brown dresser pressed against a corner and a night stand tucked at the opposite. Clothes were tossed about, either on the floor or hung up half assed on something that you could only guess as a proper hanger.

His nightstand was covered in trash and empty beer cans and you thought of shoving them away before deciding to place the plate on his bed instead.

You spared him a last glance after the action, perplexed by the fact he was just so— quiet. Which, was certainly odd to everyone at least within half a mile from here. Usually the moment you entered his space, his bubble, he erupted like an animal defending its territory.

You decided not to push your luck. Because right now, it felt like the deadly cat across the African plains simply hadn't noticed you. And so your steps were as carefully placed as they had been when you entered. It was almost relaxing despite the looming feeling from the boys demeanor.

Billy felt a wave, a sort of ripple through the air as the presence of another remained in the room. He didn't bother to speak, only raised the unlit cigarette to his lips in a curious manner and took an unsteady puff, letting the wind carry the smoke out the screen. There was a storm, one he had sensed earlier but was hard to make out amongst the many things that had clouded his mind with anger.

Luckily, the only thing he could blame his outburst on earlier this morning was exhaustion, a clear sign of his lack of sleep from the night before which would easily explain his half dead posture and irritability that had pissed off nearly everyone around him.

Another explanation for his hideout in his room but one you couldn't quite understand.

You neared the exit when the floorboards creaked just as they had before and you almost wanted to freeze in your place. Like the cat would come pouncing now, mauling you to death.

"Not gonna make a show of it?" Came Billy's voice, it was low and calm but you caught the slight strain of it. As if he needed a clear of his throat to even be fully heard.

"A show of what?" You cast a glance over your shoulder, brows knit.

The blonde gestured with his lips, the subtle shift in his elbow drawing attention to the stick of tobacco. "I was waiting for some goddamn spectacle, L/N. "

"I don't know what you're talking about, Billy. " You sounded exasperated already and you stepped over a black shirt with a design you couldn't quite decipher from its crumpled up state. You made sure not to add anymore scratches to the ground and turned around, placing your back firmly against the door frame.

Billy's muscles became tense with the new body turned on him and he felt the wave again, the stirring of new energy entering the atmosphere.

But you had simply done so so that your back wasn't uncomfortably to him when you left.

"Whatever. " Was all Billy seemed to say before shutting you out, shoving that fucking piece of shit plate away from him. And in the split second your brain focused on how fast food was supposed to get cooled and not nearly three seconds after swallowing his cancer stick Billy must've caught the attention of the devil himself.

There was no denying the jagged yell, the shuffling in his voice like someone was gripping his head and holding it under water. You jumped away, eyes as wide as saucers as Billy's bedroom door flung open, smacking the adjacent wall with a loud slam that nearly cracked the plaster from the force.

And yet, his voice was a lot less louder than his grand entrance. "Hey, shit face. Why don't you make yourself useful instead of sitting around all day, having our guests, " he gestured to you, "bring you your own fucking food. "

You moved a step back, almost tripping on your own footing from your struggle to balance yourself without the solid sense of feeling. Your eyes darted frantically between the two people within your viewing distance, and you could barely make out Susan a few feet away who had her hand clasped on Max's shoulder.

She was ushering her daughter to their bedroom but Max refused, and the red head stood beside the door with a wary look.

"Get up. And give him a ride home. " Another gesture to you and when you looked towards the entrance of Billy's room again Neil was taking up the entire frame.

"That's really not–" You began but stopped as both of the parents turned to look at you with an appalled look. It was nothing personal but you doubted Billy even knew where you lived and the only time you ever rode with him was pervious to when he'd beat your ass.

"My dad–" You tried again.

"He won't answer the phone, much less pick you up. " Susan jumped in, though the hesitation on her voice made you doubt if that was her plan all along. "Your brother got a ride with the Henderson's. "

"Put on a shirt, stop acting like a balless queer, and go. " Again Neil thrust a drawn out, mocking tone, like his son couldn't comprehend basic sentences and he stepped out of the way to make room for your departure.

Billy's got a storm brewing in his expression and there was one moment where his eyes met yours and you were sure you'd drown in all the hate there was.

You didn't get a chance to argue about the amount of time it would take to get there and about how you would manage on your own. In fact, something in Max's eyes told you it'd be better not to. So you pressed your lips against each other as Billy grabbed his keys and pushed past you.

You watched Billy stalk past everyone, a gruff 'Yes, Sir' leaving his lips that you almost hadn't heard as he passed his father.

You exited the room shortly after, not sparing Susan or Neil a goodbye as you gingerly took your shirt from Max's hands.

She made a comment, something quietly spoken that not even your heightened hearing could make out over Billy's obnoxious slamming of the front door that he knew he would pay for later. You watched the young girl as she returned to her room.

Silence welcomed you when you first stepped into the driveway, stretching across the cement with a sense of uncomfortablity that didn't seem to fade as you entered the car and were met with a chilling quiet.

Billy didnt look at you as his ignition roared to life, nor did he speak to you as he pulled out the drive way. He stared ahead, chin down as he leaned just slightly forward, supporting an arm on the side door, palm rubbing soothing circles into his temple.

He was going 20 above the speed limit. You assumed you two were trying to get as far away from the house as you could. But, the further into the neighborhood you went, the lower the numbers on the radio dropped and the more the car filled with quiet music.

Hargrove was completely out of it, lost in some other space where you weren't welcome. And the car had filled with a tension you doubted he'd meant to cause, but given his current mood, you didn't think he could avoid it either.

Despite this, you chose to press yourself against the door with a turned head, the muscles in your body growing taut with discomfort the more you tried to make it seem as if you weren't even of existence in the passenger seat.

You wanted out of the car.

That much you could draw from your mind when you found that the speedometer was at 55 and increasing.

"Billy. " You tore your gaze from the meter, flickering over the silent boy who was intent on looking only at the road ahead.

No answer. His jaw was tightened and set. There were lines buried in the skin.

"Billy. " Your voice held a certain firmness that he didn't quite like.

Silence still and he tightened his grip on the leather, knuckles turning white. The streetlights were getting ready to cast those obnoxious eyes and like a perfect chain of events the little hairs of a certain song burst from the speakers.

His hand, fast with anger, whipped across the volume dial, ceasing the tune and replacing it with the rumble of the engine.

An inhale, then a single word. "What. "

Somehow you think that's the opposite of an answer. It's barely a question. With the tone of voice he held he shouldn't have phrased it that way because he clearly didn't want to know what you had to say, what you thought.

"Stop the car. I'll walk. " It was simple enough and on any normal occasion Billy might've done just that rather than wasting his gas on you. But tonight was different, and Billy, seemingly fueled by his own agitation, just blew past the stop sign and sent the speed at which the Camaro rolled up with you at dangerous levels.

The car vibrated lightly beneath you, air whistling as you tore through the neighborhood at an alarming rate.

"Oh for fucks sake. " It was a mutter to yourself because you hadn't exactly expected the boy to be cooperative but you didn't think you'd be forced to jump out of a moving car again. Yet, here you were; gripping the handle, poised like a god damn animal, eyeing the road as you built up your goddamned gallantry.

You didn't catch the surprise on Billy's face when he noticed you push the door open against the harsh winds.

Fuck it.

You fell with ease and with a soft oof! your limbs were somehow able to stand the blow rather than becoming mangled chunks of meat against the pavement. You could hear the car skidding to a stop five houses down as you took a moment to roll around in your own pain.

Your shirt had rode up on your torso, back pressed against the heated road as your skin made contact with the tar. You had a few scrapes along your spine, one over the delicate hip bone. And you were pretty sure the road had peeled the skin on your forearm all the way down to the elbow but hey, at least it wasn't your fucking face.

A few drops of blood gathered on a pebble directly to your right. Your nose gave a sharp twinge of pain.

"Dick. " You said that in regards to him, for every aspect of his personality. Because Billy Hargrove was what others considered a giant dick.

If you hadn't suspected it before you were sure when you heard the wheels start to turn again, the shift of a gear springing the Camaro back to life. And then footsteps, louder than the car itself, were slapping against the asphalt.

"Are you out of your fucking mind!?" You raised your head, eyes coming to focus on Billy's very fucking pissed form towering above you. Arms crossed defensively, face twisted with irritation as he glared down at you with something close to— well it looked a lot like anger but Billy only knew one of three emotions and that was definitely not concern.

"Fuck you. " You managed through a puddle of blood in your mouth that you promptly spit out, only having realized it was there the moment it began forming bubbles when you tried to speak.

Billy's voice stuttered in reply. "What the fuck is your problem? Do you want to fucking kill yourself or something?! "

"Better than death by fucking vehicular manslaughter on the account of Billy fucking Hargrove. " You muttered, hands pressing into the road to give you leverage when you attempt to stand up. Your body immediately yells a no to this action and you lay right back down on the road.

"What?" Billy is completely distraught in the sense that his brain has seemed to burst due the sheer incomprability of your actions.

"Oh I don't know, Billy, maybe the next time I feel like killing myself I'll call you and we'll go a hundred miles an hour off the fucking side of a cliff. "

The boys eyebrows were nearly touching his hairline as he stared at you.

"Watch me die like an old school movie where they're surrounded by bubbles and colors and shit. "

You spit the last remnants of blood from your mouth and Hargroves face ran red and blue. "Can you fucking shut the fuck up and get up already before anyone sees you. " He demanded, practically dancing around your form. Arms stretched out with a stance that reminded you very much of a gymnast.

"No. No. I think I'll lay here for a sec. " You roll onto your backside, a groan in your voice, arms folding over your body, posed like a corpse.

Billy stops in his antics and stares at you incredulously. "Are you serious?"

"Very serious, yes. " Your voice almost comes out like a sigh.

Billy reels, and if it wasn't for the fact your eyes were sealed shut now, you'd be able to see the absolute bewilderment of the teen as he stood there in the middle of the empty street. Arms half poised over you but not touching your form. As if he didn't know what do with you.

"...Get up. " He demands, standing straight again, his hands on his waist. This time he's not commanding you in that cold manner. There's a little rise to his voice like he's beginning to lose his patience, his forehead furrowing with anger.

You take another few moments to enjoy the silence. You swear you hear a cicada or something squeak from a window sill nearby and the air felt cooler than it has in weeks. Until it all becomes overbearing and your chest burns from a lack of oxygen. You didn't even realize you were holding your breath.

You open an eye to test the waters.

Billy's scowling now, a hand on his hip and the other resting across his forehead in disbelief. At you or the situation, you weren't entirely sure. Both you imagined. But there was a certain look on his face like he was ready to pull some kind of theatric, a reaction, throw a punch to knock some sense into you but ultimately decided against it.

"Where do you live?" He asked the question in such a manner that you couldn't help but be wary of his intentions.

"...Why?" You asked, the caution obvious in your voice. As he loomed over you like that... it wasn't doing a whole lot of trust building.

You almost hear the growl of frustration from his throat as he began rocking on the balls of his feet, hands swinging like he wasn't able to grab hold of something. "So we can fucking go. Before someone calls the fucking cops. "

You still hesitated.

"Before I fuck you up so hard they'll have to identify you by your fucking sperm. " Okay there were his threats. But they lacked the substance of his normal demeanor. He didn't seem overly angry like he typically did but still, his body gave some kind of look as though he couldn't quite will himself to control the way it trembled with adrenaline.

"Nice one, but you're not my type. " Another bite and a second of Billy looking absolutely befuddled as he tried to keep his voice down. His glare had weakened but only because he was taken off guard, and his cocky expression fell to a tight line.

You watched as he took a moment to look around the empty street. The lights weren't too bright so you couldn't make out that typical, telltale flush of his skin that you've grown accustomed to in his anger.

Your eyes flickered across his face, scanning every inch like a beacon. Curiously, you looked at him the same way he always did. Maybe you'd find some sort of answer hidden somewhere behind his icy blues.

The look on his face was strange. Pensive.

"Get up, Y/N. " An even voice this time. Calming maybe. And to think, all it took was a slightly gay comment in order to simmer the violent bastard.

You half wondered where the fag-bashing erratic moron went. Maybe he'd packed his bags and runaway. You could hope.

You did more than that infact, you put that right there on your bucket list, and with a frown, more for yourself than anything else, you looked away from the boy above you.

"Fine. Alright. " Your movements were stiff with pain as you moved to push yourself up by the palms of your hand, your arms trembling beneath the weight. The skin on your hand and forearm burned with a stinging sensation.

Billy watched at your pathetic attempts, a sneer or two on his face but he didn't seem to offer much help until it'd all get too pathetic and he had to reach out and aid you.

"Idiot. " His lip curled as his palm met yours, his fingers holding onto the back of your hand tight as possible.

You stumbled slightly upon becoming fully upright, teetering against Billy for a moment as you took a minute to regain your ground.

"Yeah, well whose fucking fault is that. " You've developed a lovely habit of hissing through your teeth with an unnecessary amount of spite. You're surprised Billy hasn't knocked you on your ass and left you for dead by now.

He scoffs, trying to put as much distance between the two of you while still having your arm linked through his, helping you along. To the ignorant eye, you suppose this would look platonic enough but anyone that knew the two of you well would certainly think otherwise.

Billy's all rigid limbs and stunted movements. Even when you'd finally started to walk on your own and your grip on his arm began to slack, he held firm with a grip like a vise.

And by the time you're at the passenger's side, he's shoving you into the seat and you nearly knock your head on the top of car.

You didn't bother giving a remark when he practically seethed through his teeth, slamming the door in your face. He strode around the car like a man on a mission.

"If you go more than 5 over the speed limit—" You felt the warning die on your tongue when you saw the look of pure anger etched onto Billy's face.

"You'll jump out. Yeah. " His hand came down on the shifter. "Got it. "

There was a part of your brain that you didn't recognize that was screaming in terror, completely and totally convinced you were going to die tonight at the hands of the ever brooding Billy Hargrove.

But much to your surprise, Billy maintains that 5 mile leway the entire drive home even when there's barely a car in the streets. He hadn't muttered a single word since throwing his angry body in the driver's seat.

Instead, he'd cranked up the music all the way as if it'd some how compensate for the lack of speed and conversation, not that there would be much to say anyway.

You hadn't bothered looking at him. He hadn't bothered looking at you. But somehow, in one way or another, the feeling as if you were watching each other was even more abundant in the silence.

Whatever hostility had remained from Billy's mood in the first half of the night had receded back into his depths for later. Though the occasional frown on his face never quite leaves no matter what, his eyes are softer now.

And by the time he's pulling into the dirt driveway of your home, the soft beams of amber and yellow from the streetlights dimly hitting half his face, there's no sign of anger or any real semblance of emotion. It's oddly quiet, and the only thing to really speak up was the steady rumble of the engine.

"Thanks. " You beckon quickly and with reluctantance as you awkwardly grabbed at the door handle, trying to turn as quickly as you could while still maintaining balance. Anything just to get out of his car and away from the guy.

"Y/N. " He voices and the moment you pull at the handle you come to find it's resistance. A dull tingle shoots up your spine and the hair on the back of your neck raises with tension.

You turn, facing the teen who kept an unconcerned façade. He was a calm still pond with blue eyes flickering like small waves in the face of a strong wind, and although most times they were ice and snow that held such a cold, unforgiving passion of arrogance, there were times they were the ripples of a breeze.

Now was one of those times.

"Don't go around pulling fucking stunts like that. "

That was definitely closer to a warning than anything else that had come from his lips the entirety of the night.

"This is coming from the guy who beat my ass into the concrete two months ago. " And at this point, you were too exhausted to be filled with spite for the boy.

His posture falters and not just figuratively. There's a shift to the way he's sitting but the flicker of his eyes remains. Even with you half turned, his stare remained. In fact, it seems to have gotten all the more intense.

"What's it to you anyway? " The way he tilted his head might have been endearing in another life. Now, it seemed to hold meaning, the way a predator stalks its prey with such observant behavior before sinking its teeth into its jugular.

His gaze on you could have bored into your brain, much like a drill for how quick your defenses seemed to start dissolving.

He'd always looked at you like this. Whether or not you caught his eyes on you was by chance.

In class, in the halls, it was all the same to him. He'd get one look and that was about all it took. He'd stare with the attention like an interrogation, as if trying to decode some secret behind your stature, trying to pick you apart bit by bit with those watchful baby blue's of his. And if there was no easy route to doing that he'd dig his little meat hooks into you until there was.

You were all he'd focus on. Not you in particular. More so the idea of you.

Whatever that meant.

Of course the only instance Billy looked at you without fail, hard looked at you like the blue was about to spill out of his eyes and swallow you up like a tsunami, was when he was a little tipsy or riled up with heat and fury. But like most of Billy's emotions, they were very intense. Too intense for something as simple as just a fucking stare. It almost gave you the illusion of a dangerous threat that made your skin buzz with goosebumps, your nerves rattling in their sockets.

He was doing the same now, except, the only difference was that he wasn't pissed faced or smoldering with alcohol this time. In the confines of his car, beneath the yellow white shine of the nearby street lights, he couldn't tear his gaze away even if you begged.

Billy was the sort of thing to stop you mid thought when you glance and feel your limbs freeze, suddenly petrified with all this uneasiness and sudden confusion as to why there was only one sort of definition to put on why you felt such things whenever his presence was met with a hundred paces of distance.

"I..." He starts but his voice falls flat. Something beyond frustration, something between anger and concern. The sort of look that told you he was working something out in his mind. Or he just couldn't find the proper word choice that didn't end in an f-bomb at the end of his sentence.

He's still staring, his eyes flickering back and forth between yours, like a candle wick in the night. Wavering. Stuttering. Inconsistent uncertainty.

Like he's just asking for guidance to fill his barren vocabulary, the words never existing like an undiscovered civilization in his brain, unable to conjure up the sort of speech that would get him what he wanted.

An abrupt sense of panic washed over you. You inhaled sharply and you didn't let the breath go until your next move was placed in front of you like a chess piece on the board and you couldn't take the time to think out any future moves on your part.

All of your attention was pulled to him, focused entirely. The way he moved, the way he breathed, it left a tingling feeling trailing behind him like some faint breeze of emotion.

Everything stilled, it was him and you. Him. And you.

And he's just looking at you like that. Mouth halfway opened and the noise of shallow heavy breaths were the only sounds falling from his lips while he's looking at you all wide-eyed, like some fresh-faced virgin whose never seen one in person before.

You cursed yourself. Cursed the wind. Cursed the ground. Cursed Billy and his stupid face. And every corner of his stupid car and everything else about him. You can curse the sun but that'd probably be a step too far. Especially the moment you met those watchful pools of sea foam.

Fucking Billy Hargrove and his stupid, fucking car and his even more stupid...

Lips.

Lips and teeth.

Teeth, pale pink lips.

Blue eyes, long lashes.

Stupid fucking curly hair.

The sort of curly where it always managed to get you by the tips, tangling its brambles in your fingers and refusing to let go.

Which is why the second Billy made a small noise– not even really a noise, it's a breath. A single exhale that hits your nose, hits you the way nothing has before, and it causes a wave of heat to wash over you, overtaking your senses.

You grab those curls, your fingers entwine them and his breath is alot heavier, alot hotter as his hands grip tightly onto your shirt, like he's a frightened child.

His lips are wet.

He's messy.

Sloppy.

Like he's never kissed before in his life. Lips that keep moving, and his tongue is too sensitive, too eager.

Every sharp inhale of breath reeks of sweat and chlorine.

There's no time to stop and make sense of the situation.

He's scrambling over the middle console, desperate hands gripping on your collar and in any other scenario, this would've been the step before he plummeted his fist into your face. But there's hardly anything suggesting that. At least not without the time to see the tiny trail of tears lining Billy's eyes, glossing his cheeks.

He tastes as he looks. Like liquid gold with his tongue rubbing against yours in a hot mass of burning motion. And any semblance of a rational train of thought was chucked out the window.

There was enough room in the front seat for a teenage boy and then some. Billy Hargrove was not such a teenage boy. There was barely enough room to shift and breathe and wriggle around in this half straddle.

You can faintly hear a heavy car pass over a mound in the road, an off balance tire or perhaps someone forgot to inflate it and the uneven troll on the road, not entirely deafening, but it's there. And Billy hears it and he jumps from you, leg grazing the shifter, head knocking into the top of the roof.

His ears are steaming red as he all but falls into the driver's seat, face flustered and hair slightly disheveled.

He's looking around like a wild animal caught in a trap and he can't escape, eyes flickering back and forth; from the gearshift all the way to the rear view mirror and then to your face.

Pupils shot open, dark and wide, and a hand coming up to press on his forehead, eyes squinting.

"Billy‐ " It's a start, but it doesn't stay long enough to be deemed a full sentence, not with his name lingering on your lips while you try to swallow down the heat in the pit of your stomach. Billy's looking at you, breathing heavy.

"Get out. " He mutters forcefully, the lock clicks open and when his hand comes up to rub across his face, it's shaking.

"Billy. " More insistent this time.

He looks a few shades redder than when he was before, his head snaps back to meet your stare, hair curling beneath his ears in a gentle mess, curls threatening to fall into his face.

"Get out!" His voice pitches, breaks into something close to a sob and Billy swings his arm wildly, fist connecting with the steering wheel and there's a loud honk as a warning before he shouts again. "Get the fuck out, you fucking faggot!" His voice reverberates across the entire neighborhood, shattering your ear drums in the process.

There's dogs barking from far away, probably due to the horn.

You hesitated but only for a moment before swinging the door open, just barely missing the opportunity to knock the shit out of your leg by the time Billy decided to slam down his foot on the pedal. The door shuts fast. The car speeds off before it has the chance.

You watched him drive away, with just as much intensity as the boy inside the car watched you in the rearview.

As your house began to shrink away into the distance, and the glare of the car grew smaller and smaller. You could hardly see those searing blue eyes the way you did in class. Though this time, instead of a look of hatred or scorn, it was one of fear and dread.

And maybe, just maybe, if there were more light shining on his face, it would reflect a thousand scenarios playing on his cheeks. Not that you would've been able to tell from all the way out here.

"Fuck. "

[notabumbleb33]

Transfemme Skwisgaar Thoughts

I wanted to shares my transfemme Skwisgaar thoughts!! A little NSFW warnings because this will mentions sex a bit but nothings too explicit! So i specifically sees Skwisgaar as transfemme and usings both he/him and she/her. But i thinks she deals with lots of shame and represses that parts of herself and is deeply closeted about it. To the point of denyings it all together.

Before i continues….i dont believes in sluts shaming. As long as all parties ams consenting and ams adults then go them! So when I speaks about Skwisgaar's mom, Surfetta, and Skwisgaar himself and the amounts of sex they has….its not really that them hasing lots of sex in itself is bad, but more so how it can effects others/themselves.

i thinks Surfetta was never prepared to be a mothers or maybe she nevers wanted to be ones. I means she has a lots of sex and yet Skwisgaar ams her only child (i means that we knows of and its never hinted that she has other kids) so despites all her sleepings around…..for the most part she's been protected enough. I can't imagines Skwisgaar was a planned pregnancy. I do thinks Skwisgaar was loved as much as she coulds have loved him though. But love isn't enough to raise a child well or to be a good mother. Surfetta's promiscuity had negative effects on Skwisgaar. It led him to be bullieds and I personally thinks it skewed the ways he views women. I also thinks Surfetta unintentionally neglected him in ways. I'm not sure she knews how much he was being effecteds....or maybe she didn'ts care. I dunnos. I do really thinks she loves him, but just wasn't fit to be the mothers he neededs.

I thinks Skwisgaar growings up could never fully conforms to the idea of masculinity physicallys. I can imagine him as the types who would be called queer and the f slur….maybe evens the t slur….just because he ams a "pretty boy" and grows out hims hair long. He always felts different from other boys and men. I think later in hims life he excuses it as being a god amongst men and that beings why he doesnt feels the same as others. But clearly its not just that.

If he couldn't conform physically….he conformed to masculinitys in other ways. Having loads of sex with womens is pretty macho man of him i guess lol. I think he tries to carries himself in a way that seems confidents and suave and a real charmer because he associates that with beings a man ig.

Hims relationship with womens is a whole lots of things to me. Canonically, Skwisgaar represents life/fertility in the sames way Toki represents death so ofc he has lots of sex cause he ams spreading his seed and giving life. And I thinks that his mothers promiscuity rubbed offs on him. Aaaaand obviously rock stars are usually known as sluts lol. But I thinks if we are thinksing about my HC…..I also thinks sex with womens kind of acts as like…..experiencing their femininity and womanhood in a ways he feels comfortable. He could nevers admits part of him wants to be like them. He admires their bodies sexually ofc, but I thinks he also envies what they has. If he can'ts be thems then at least he can has sex with them and just admire thems that way. And at the ends of the day they leave. He can separates himself from thems and convince himself thats nothing changed. Nothing was permanent (hopefullys no STDS!!).

I also think Skwisgaar just has this fears that ifs she was her true self….she'd be no betters than hers mother. She's already neglectful to alls those kids she bears…..she sleeps around with random womens all the time…..Skwisgaar is holding on to any difference she has with Surfetta. They also looks alike in ways. And I means this probably goes withouts saying but she worries judgment and hate as does any trans persons. I don'ts know that she could trusts her bandmates to understands it or accepts it or that Dethklok fans would gets it either. She thinks it ams easier to just push it down forever. Hopefully my ways of typings wasn't too hards to read....my bad!! ^_^; Also the scene i posted withs this is so trans coded to me like omg....

[steviestits]

My God Longs For Me - Part 1.4

Written for an anon prompt, which can be read in its entirety on this fic’s masterpost.

Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Rating: M (For Murder) Summary: When Steve was a child, he was abducted and brought to the cult, the Hellfire Club, as he was prophesied to be the wife of the dark forest god they worshiped. Steve enjoyed his time there, especially the time he spent with the cult leader's nephew, Eddie. This wasn't meant to last however as Steve was eventually returned to his parents. Thanks to the deprogrammer that his parents hired and time, Steve has mostly forgotten the cult that raised him. That is until he goes on a camping trip and his friends start to get murdered one by one with the only connection between the killings being the ritual offerings to the cult's gods and the strange dreams Steve has before each one. Now Steve must piece together his past to discover who is murdering his friends in the present. (Inspired heavily by various horror movies and is a horror story itself.) Trigger Warning: F-slur, gore, murder, blood, choking, character death but not Eddie or Steve, religious imagery Eventual Trigger Warning: Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Ritual Sacrifices, Gore, Mpreg, Body Horror, Monster Fucking, Feminization, Brainwashing

(Link to previous part)

Bev Mooney was born in this motel, and she was raised here by her hardcore, Evangelist parents. They taught her about sinners like the boys who had checked-in only a few hours ago. The boy might have denied it, but she knew a faggot when she saw one, just like how her dad did back when he used to run the motel in his day. She planned to deal with them just how her dad did, by shooting them dead with a hunting rifle then burning their bodies in the incinerator to give them a taste of what was in store for them when they went straight to Hell.

In the backrooms behind the check-in counter was where she stayed. Much like the rest of the place, it was old and rundown with chipped furniture and peeling wallpaper. Bev kept her rifle in a lockbox underneath her bed which was hidden in cardboard box labeled “X-Mas Decorations.” She kneeled down to retrieve it, only to pause when she heard a creaking sound from the next room. Her parents had died long ago, and Bev had no other family, so she should’ve been alone.

“Hello?” Bev called out. “Is anyone there?”

No one answered. Bev also didn’t hear any other noises, making her assume that it was the old motel creaking since it was desperate need of repair. Putting the sound out of her mind, she pulled out the boxes then removed her rifle from inside the both of them. She weighed it in her hand, relishing in the way the metal barrel pressed into her skin, and slowly got to her feet, but when she turned around, Bev found that she wasn’t alone.

A black-robed person in a deer skull mask loomed in the doorway. They didn’t say anything, and only stared. She couldn’t see their hands since the sleeves of the robe were too long, yet that didn’t stop her imagination from picturing an assortment of demonic weapons that the beast could use against a righteous, God-fearing woman such as herself.

Bev raised the rifle and aimed it at the intruder. “You have to the count of three before I blow your brains out!”

The other person didn’t move, except their body was relaxed, as if they were in control of the situation, not Bev. She leveled her gun, placing her finger on the trigger. The cocky son of a bitch was going to learn what happened to intruders around these parts.

“One,” she counted slowly. “Two. Three!”

Bev pulled the trigger, only nothing happened. It was then that the stranger raised their arm, revealing a hand that was clutching several bronze bullets. They released the rounds, letting them fall against the floor with soft tinkling. Somehow this person had found her rifle ahead of her and emptied it of its ammo.

“What do you want!?” Bev yelled, grip on the rifle tightening. “The money is in the register! Take it! I don’t care!”

Silently, the robed figure reached into their sleeve to reveal a large hunting knife with a polished, wooden handle. Bev’s mouth went dry as she realized that the person before her wasn’t after money. Bev had heard the rumors about the Hellfire Cult that had made its home several miles down the road from where the motel was situated. She never gave them much thought, felling that God would punish the wicked, which they did years ago since the police had come to break-up the cult and arrest its leader. Now, she wished she’d paid more attention to the news, wondering if maybe one of those psychos had broken out of jail, yet she had missed the report.

“Stay back, demon!” Bev then threw the rifle at the intruder before she scrambled over the bed in an attempt to scamper towards the window. The robed figure caught her, though, and threw her across the room into a nearby dresser. She slammed into it, feeling a sharp pain in her back, but fear kept her going, allowing her to shakily get to her feet before she ran bedroom door.

Bev quickly made her way to the backdoor, which led out into the woods behind the motel, only to find that it was deadbolted shut. She undid the deadbolt then opened the door and was met with despair as she found that one of the motel’s dressers had been pushed in front of the screen door to prevent her escape. The robed figure was right behind her, leisurely making their way towards her, so she did the one thing she could do, which was push through the screen.

Wire cut into her flesh as Bev forced her way through the door and stumbled over the dresser. Bev reasoned that the dresser would slow down her attacker, too, except the robed figure was strong and easily pushed open the screen door, never picking up their pace. They chased after her as if they had all the time in the world, and for all Bev knew, they did.

Fleeing into the woods, Bev ran as fast she was able with her injuries. Low hanging branches and brambles whipped across her face, catching on her clothing, tearing it to shreds, but she didn’t slow down, not for a moment. She kept running, until she looked behind her and could no longer see the robed figure in the distance.

Bev doubled over panting, not used to doing so much running as she usually sat on her couch and watched Wheel of Fortune. She thought that she could rest for a moment, catch her breath, before doubling back to the motel to call the police, but then a gloved hand grabbed her throat and pulled her back against a solid chest. Her eyes widened, realizing that she hadn’t even heard them approach, though maybe her heavy breathing had masked their approach.

The hand moved up to her jaw, pressing against it roughly to force her mouth open. They held her like that as they produced a cross from inside their robe, one that Bev recognized from her own private collection. She struggled, but her attempts were useless, and the robed figure forced the cross down her throat, causing pain to shoot through her as she felt it cutting up the inside of her esophagus.

Blood began to choke her, but the robed figure wasn’t done. They brought the hunting knife up to her chest then cut her from shoulder to shoulder before slicing her from her throat to her abdomen. The movements reminded her of a more violent sign of the cross, and if she wasn’t slowly losing consciousness from blood loss, a part of her would’ve have realized how poetic her death had become. Instead, Bev felt her life begin to fade. Her last thoughts were that she’d been born in this motel, and now she was going to die here, too.

Part 1.3 ~ Masterpost ~ Part 1.5 (Coming Soon-ish)

Author's Note: It's been a rough few weeks, and I felt like killing someone. Hope you found it as cathartic as I did.

[pyxaperson]

I am procrastinating on my uni assignments so here’s the 2012!TMNT main cast ranked on who would be homophobic/transphobic

1 being the most and 6 being the least

this is my opinion and my interpretation. i will fight people for one of these rankings if they disagree with me

6 - April

You cannot convince me she isn’t a 2012 Tumblr girl like… look at her. She spent most of her teenage years debating with homophobes on the internet. She would 100% watch supernatural and 100% ship Castiel.

"Would she fetishise mlm relationships?" NO. She would also watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and ship Fuffy. She reads yaoi AND yuri in her spare time.

If she swoons over a mutant and an alien getting together, she will 100% do the same for a gay couple.

Probably taught the others not to be homophobic (mostly the top 3).

If you believe she hates the LGBT+ community, I am sorry but you are objectively wrong I will be hunting you for sport right now. I am outside your house with the episode "Karai's Vendetta" playing loudly on my laptop.

5 - Donnie

“Erm actually, homosexual behaviour has been heavily documented in animals such as penguins, bats and hyenas. It’s very much natural.“

While I cannot imagine him ever being homophobic, I can imagine him being transphobic when he was younger.

BUT I only think that because the primary school biology textbook was his bible when he was five.

As soon as he had access to a more “advanced” biology book, he learnt his mistakes.

Had a deep understanding of gender before his brother understood the differences between them as a result of this.

4 - Mikey

Thinks LGBT+ people are awesome, however his only exposure to gay people is rupaul drag race so his views on them are stereotypical.

He would probably be taken aback if you introduced him to a gay man who isn’t flamboyant, but he would adjust after a bit.

He would definitely say “You don’t look gay” though.

Aside from April, he would be the most angry when hearing homophobic/transphobic comments.

3 - Leo

The middle point between homophobic and not homophobic for the group (even though she's seconds lmao, the group is just not really homophobic).

I headcanon her as a trans lesbian so any homophobic/transphobic thoughts she would have are a mixture of her sheltered life and internalised issues.

Nothing extreme though, but her mind would get hung up on two girls holding hands on the street for multiple days.

She would also go through the 5 stages of grief for every unprompted homophobic thought she gets.

Everyone helps her overcome this, especially after she discovers herself and comes out.

2 - Raph

I am sorry, but he would probably use homophobic language before meeting April.

However, that’s due to him not understanding what he was saying. He probably thought gay was a synonym for stupid.

Once he understands who LGBT+ people are and what they face (AKA being scolded by April), he would probably feel really bad about it.

He wouldn’t really apologise for it verbally, but he would 100% kill a homophobe after that so everyone understands he’s changed.

Mikey would then make fun of him for being homophobic which would get him really mad. It's revenge for Raph calling him gay to insult him and brushing his genuine anger off.

“At least I’m not-“ “I’M NOT HOMOPHOBIC MIKEY!”

1 - Casey

I am not sorry, this dude was definitely homophobic before meeting the Turtles + April. Like, actually homophobic.

His dad is homophobic so it comes from that.

He called Donnie the f-slur behind his back to the rest of the group. To put it lightly, they were not impressed.

The first moment where he questions his behaviour is when April rips him to shreds over it, but it’s not until Raph pulls him aside to express disappointment that he realises how bad his behaviour is.

Probably goes MIA for a couple of days undergoing serious reflection on his life and beliefs. He then comes back to apologise for his behaviour.

He takes some time to truly overcome his bigotry, but he gets there eventually. Like Raph, he'll kill a homophobe after the ordeal.

[zaustavitezemlju]

i need ta rant and i dont wanna go bother my friends. so why not add to my digital footprint lets go future employers if you find this enjoy

uh. cw for like. talk abt slurs/racism(?)/homophobia nd transphobia (kinda)

i keep loosing my friends cuz theyre all saying stupid shit. not dropping names but lets say his name is tincan. so tincan and I have been feiends for like 3-4 yrs now and hes a great dude. bit weird soemtimws but hes silly and were on the same wavelength roughly. well imagine my surprise qhere one day in class he just randomly says the n word and stafts cackling like irs so funny!!!!! (hes white btw.) yes king racial slurs are mx FAVORITE form of comedy 😍😍😍 and so ofc i turn to him and im like. tincan that isnt ok what. and he goes dwdw i have the pass ........,........ i think that speaks for itself. and so i go ok. this dudes weird! and i will probably not be talking to him anymore!! but then we have like break right. two weeks and im travelling. out of NOWHERE.DEADASS NOWHERE WE HADMT TWXTED IN AGES. this man sends me a fucking DICK PIC. WITH RHE FUCKING CAPTION OF "i gotchu man since you like dick" NOT OUT OF NOWHERE YOU DRIED LIZARD. and i also didnt have data so i couldnt even reply for ages and it was horrible. and ofc i reply like tincan. what the actual fuck. AND THIS MF GOES "mb i thought you liked dick" LIKE HE WAS DOING ME A FAVOR OR SOME SHIT. so i get PISSEDDD. and i contemplate blocking him and im like youve changed fast af and hes like well what have i done other than send that pic. I DUNNO. SAID THE N WORD? SAID THE F SLUR TO. MY. FACE. AND LAUGHED IT OFF? AGREED WHEN ONE KF YOUR FRIWNDS WAS BEING TRANSPHOBIC TO ME INFRONT OF ME EVEN THOUGH YOUVE PREACHED SO MUCH ABOUT HOW YOUD NEVER STAND FOR THAT???? and then tincan was like ohh okk im sorry ill change for you. idk why he added for you it was weird and creepy and icky. sigh idk what to do tho bc like i dont want to completely push him away bc he is a valuable person to have for like general school matters. but i also do NOT want to be friwnds w someone like that. im just emotionally distancing myswlf for now like im not talking abt personal shit w him and im being more like surface level in convos

hes not rhe knly one tho like my closest friwnd rn is also kind of jumping on the bandwagon. he was talking abt rhis guy who he calls sometimws online and like plays games with (minecraft n shi) and he was like "oh yea he says the n word but its funny because hes british" (yea the guys white ofc (the online guy))and then proceeds to show me a clip of this guy saying the n word while theyre on voice chat while barely managing to hold his laughter. how is this funny im sorry huh? and i just like nodded or whatever cuz i was utterly dumbfounded that he would ever like even find something as stupid and uncreative as that funny. like........... 😧

anyway. i texted him and i was like yo just warning you i dont like the direction youre changing in and if i hear you say the n word we arent chill anymore bc its way too many ppl now. like be so real

what is so funny abt a racial slur. ill never know!!!!!

[idontknowhowiamhere]

Vent Post, TW: racism, antisemitism, homophobia, transphobia, and bullying

I go to a high school in a very rural Midwest town. As you can imagine it’s not the most open minded area. But that’s not my problem. My problem is the way my high school is run.

My school values diversity or at least it says it does. Sure, there are speakers who come in and occasionally talk about racism or bullying, but when it comes to racism or bullying in classrooms, they don’t do anything. Putting up a pride flag in your office or saying ‘happy black history month’ over the intercom once doesn’t make you an ally to minority groups.

Antisemitism

We read ‘Night’ by Elie Wiesel in our honors English class. It’s a great book and I completely recommend it to anyone who’s interested. But that’s beside the point. My strife lies with people constantly cracking jokes about it. People doing the hail hitler sign. People making jokes about gas chambers. When we were playing a class game where we had to come up with team names one group put down ‘thrid rike’. The teacher saw it and she didn’t do anything about it. Those kids who did it are some of her favorite students. She goes back there and jokes with them about football. Now this is what grinds my gears, she is the type of teacher who says that she is a teacher to come to when students need support. She is performative activism personified. I don’t even know how people can joke about mass genocide.

Racism

Our school is predominantly white. White people openly say the n-word. Like they will literally say it in class and the teacher never does anything. Sure, there are some teachers who will say something, but some is not enough. It needs to be all of them. You can’t be scared of teenagers disliking you becasue you don’t want people to say racial slurs.

And oh god let’s talk about the foreign exchange students. We had a boy from Kazakhstan. He was a chill dude. But my Christ almighty, did my civics teacher talk down to him. She would talk to him like he was a child. It honestly made me hate that class.

My best friend Filipino-America. I love that girl to death. We’ve been friends for over five years. But she used to get told to ‘go back to her own country’. Of course when people said that they would guess where she was from and they always got it wrong. People do that anymore, but the fact that it just went unchecked infuriates me. I love that kid. I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for her. She doesn’t deserve that.

Homophobia

When I initially came out almost everyone was wary of me. Sure, I wasn’t popular before then because I seemed stand-offish, but in reality I just had severe social anxiety. Some people talked to me more because they were in the closet. So that was nice to have some solidarity. But then I started getting barked at in the halls more often. Boys would moan at me in the halls. I mean, it made them look stupid, but the fact that they think they can do that-

We used to have a bulletin board with pride flags on it. People would repeatedly rip them down or put trump flags over them and they just got a talking to. It’s not the worst thing ever, but come on. It’s just so tiring to have an environment where I get little to no respect.

My friend who is open about being a lesbian was told to kill herself and was called the f-slur. You know what happened to the boys who did it? Three day suspension and nothing else. How can they just get away with that and have no other issues? She is genuinely one of the funniest people I’ve ever met and she’s sweet if she likes you, but even if she wasn’t, she wouldn’t deserve it. Transphobia

I don’t really have a lot to say about this one because it’s fairly generic. The trans people in our school constantly get misgendered by other students.

I came out to my history, English, Spanish, gym, and home ec teachers. They were all super chill about it. And props to them. But the looks I get by other students. The way it gets quiet when my name is said. It’s awful. I get scoffed at in class when I don’t get misgendered and even though the scoffing itself doesn’t bother, me it’s the fact that people think it’s okay to treat me differently.

I’m open about who I am so other kids know that it’s okay, but some days I regret ever coming out.

Miscellaneous

I know that my identity isn’t the only thing is the thing that prevents people from liking me. I don’t understand social norms so I reject them. I’m unabashedly cringe. I’m willing to argue with people and call them out for the stuff they pull. I’m not saying that I’m a great person. People can have valid criticisms about who I am as a person and I’ll completely understand, but it can’t be based around how I identify.

I’m honestly tired of having to fight with people because teachers won’t. Am I gonna stop because I’m tried? Hell no. But god I hate this town and this school.

And you notice how I say “people” not “kids”?It’s because we aren’t kids anymore. We’re teenagers who should know better. We are all at or almost at adulthood. These aren’t kids, these a grown people making conscious decisions to be hateful. It can’t be chalked up to ignorance anymore.

Sorry for the long post. I’m just tired and angry and so done with everything.

[titsuya]

# SPIT IT OUT !

where you ask your germaphobe bf for messy sex!

sakusa kiyoomi x f!reader

warning: master kink, mean dom!sakusa, spitting, breeding kink, heavy degradation, sprinkle of praise, clit spanking (1), breath play, crybaby!reader, shitty writing again— sorry

wc: 1.4k+

a/n: yeah this was longer than the drabble i was expecting LOL, follow for more, likes nd reblogs appreciated <333

minors— LEAVE !

imagine that you’re sakusa kiyoomi’s gf and being so horny for him to spit in your mouth & breed you that you can’t even be around him, so you shy away from him instead.

you thought you knew exactly what you were getting into when you started dating sakusa kiyoomi. it was common knowledge that he likes to keep things clean and hates public places. everyone knew that his only soft spot was for you, even then, you made sure it was strictly holding pinkies and shower sex just to make sure he was comfortable. mostly you didn’t want him to think you were dirty.

even if what you wanted was for him to spit in your mouth and on your face and on your body. even if what you wanted loads of cum oozing out of your bruised hole. even if what you wanted was to squirt all over his pretty cock. you love him more than anything and if it meant that you didn’t get those things, then you were okay as long as you had your omi.

sakusa has had enough, though.

“okay,” he huffed after you had refused to hug him for the nth time that night. “what is going on with you? did i do something?”

you frowned, “no! ‘s not your fault, kiyoomi,” you sighed, running a hand through your hair walking back into your shared bedroom.

“kiyoomi?” he frowned back at you following in closely behind you like a lost puppy. “what happened to omi?”

you scoffed, lightly, a small smile playing onto your lips, “thought you hated that name,”

he rolled his eyes at you, mumbling under his breath, “‘s fine when you say it… i just hate when my teammates call me that like we’re friends or something.”

“omi, don’t be mean,” you playfully slapped his shoulder. “i know you’ll never admit but we can all see how much you love them.”

he huffed again, “enough about those brats, what’s wrong with you? you know i hate initiating all this lovey dovey stuff, yet you keep avoiding me. did i do something wrong? can i fix it?”

sakusa has been wanting to hold you all day which isn’t rare for him, but you always did it for him so he wouldn’t have to, but he’s starting to grow desperate.

“no… i just… if i tell you, please don’t be make fun of me or call me gross or anything,” you twiddled your thumbs, looking at the ground, too embarrassed to say it.

“i promise i’m not going to make fun of you,” he said and you give him a look, “or call you gross, now spit it out.”

you took a deep breath, “sometimes, when we have sex… i think about you…” you trailed off, cheeks going beet red and sakusa isn’t sure if that’s what you’ve been so stressed out about.

“well, i’d hope so,” he joked.

you shut your eyes and took one more breath, “i think about you spitting in my mouth and cumming inside of me!” your words felt slurred, they all tumbled out so quick and it has him just staring at you with wide eyes and red cheeks.

after a minute or so of silence, he chuckled darkly, “you just wanted to be my slut then, hmm? well, if that’s what you want.”

that’s how you end up with your back pressed into the soft mattress with sakusa’s hand wrapped around your throat.

“omi, please,” you choke out at him.

“ah, ah, you know better than that, baby, what do you call me,” his grip on your throat tightened.

you gasped at the tight grip, “master, master pleasepleaseplease,” you mewl.

“please what?” he raised an eyebrow up at you. “tell your master what you want.”

you whine in humiliation, “please, spit in my mouth ‘n fuck me! please! wan’ your cum in me!”

“aren’t you a cute little slut, so dirty,”

they were words you feared before, but when he said them all you could do was throw your head back and moan and you can feel the arousal dripping down your ass.

“mhm, master’s dirty slut,” you confirm. “please?”

he smiles, “open your mouth,”

you open your mouth wide and stick out your tongue waiting for him to take his spit.

the spit trails out of his mouth into yours and you can’t help but whimper when you feel it on your tongue.

once you swallow it, you cry out, “tastes good! thank you! tha—“

your cut off by his booming voice and his hand moving to grip your jaw, pulling you up roughly, “who said you could swallow?”

“‘m sorry!” you cry. “won’t do it again, ‘m sorry.”

he tsks, releasing his hand from your jaw. he moves his hand to your soaked pussy and slaps your clit.

“m-master!” your back arches at the feeling.

“bad girl,” he groans. “getting this wet over being called a slut and having me spit in your mouth,” he shakes his head.

“mmph, just want you!” you moan.

he chuckles, “i’ll fuck you, you just shut up and take it.”

you nod, over and over, quiet thank you’s slipping from your mouth.

he lines his cock up with your hole and pushes in halfway and you mewl at the feeling of being stretched out.

“f-f-fuck!”

usually, sakusa preps you with his fingers, but he wasn’t feeling very generous today.

he doesn’t even bother putting his cock in all the way, giving you quick shallow thrusts, waiting for you to beg for it.

you whine loudly after the painful stretch goes away, making grabby hands at him,“please! put it in all the way, master! i’ll be good! promise i’ll be good for you!”

he groans at the way the tears fall from your eyes, “yeah? you gonna be a good little whore? take my cock all the way inside that nasty little cunt? gonna let me cum inside you, make sure you're stuffed and bred?”

bred? you think.

your head goes crazy and you start crying even harder at the thought of getting stuffed full with his cum and getting bred.

“breed me! please! i’ll be good! omi, please just breed me, cum in me, make me cum!” you’re sure you sound crazy the way you’re screaming at him.

he pushes his cock all the way inside of you, the tip kissing your cervix with each deep thrust. your eyes are rolling back and your body shakes every time he pulls in and out fucking you so good and deep.

your walls clamp down around his thick cock and you look down to see the way it disappears inside of you, pussy swallowing him whole making you moan his name loudly.

“fuck yeah, sucking me in like a good little bitch. you love my cock don’t you, love getting fucked like a slut?” he moans, drilling into you.

“yesyesyes! love it so much, mmph, master! ‘s so good, soso good, love your cock,” you sob, reaching down to rub your clit.

he places a hand on your tummy and presses down to where he can feel his cock pounding into you.

“yeah, you can feel me here can’t you?”

you let out a high-pitched moan, nearly screaming, “god, yes, omi ‘m gonna make a mess!”

“do it, make a mess on my cock. i’m not stopping you.” he coaxes, fucking into your velvety walls even harder and you’re not sure how you’re gonna make it.

“a-ah! cumming! cumming!” you squeal, back arching off the bed as you squirt all over his cock and abdomen, violently shaking and writhing under him. “f-fuck, omi omi omi!” you sob his name.

he pushes back into you, groaning loudly, “yeah, that’s it,”

“‘s too much! i- i can’t!”

he grunts, fucking you at a brutal pace, “yes, you can, you’re my good girl, aren’t you?”

your pussy is overstimulated and your brain is turning to mush, but the light praise he gave you made you nod vigorously.

“wanna be your good girl,” you cry out, tears unable to stop falling from your eyes.

“fuck, good,” he hisses, feeling his cock throb inside your tight walls. “‘m gonna cum so deep inside you… gonna make sure you take my load,”

you can’t speak anymore, brain absolutely fried as he fucks into your sensitive cunt. you feel his cock twitch and he presses all the way into you, letting out a gaspy moan spilling his cum inside of you.

“i love you,” he huffs. “never ignore me like that again.”

“won’t ever do it again, love you, too, omi.”

© all works belong to @titsuya 2021, please do not repost, modify, or translate any of my works on any platform

[jedifarmerr]

When Javier Met... (Series)

Javier Peña x F! Reader/OFC (no y/n, no physical description)

Rating: T bordering on M (Blog/Series 18+)

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: Language. Alcohol. Smoking. A guy being an a-hole to Javi. Little talk about Colombia. YEARNING. (Let me know if I missed anything)

Series Masterlist

Chapter 5: Fall.

Any excitement you had about returning to the dating field was shattered by a string of bad dates.

They said the first date was always the hardest, but you had hope. The man seemed promising - at first. A successful lawyer that worked in the same building as you. Too bad he ogled every woman that walked by.

Reluctantly, you let your friend Brooke set you up on a blind date. Again, you were fooled. A promising start at a swanky restaurant turned out to be a date with not only them but also their phone and pager.

However, the third brought the others to shame. Going down as possibly the worst date in your life. His name was Richard, but insisted on being called Richie, which should have been your first warning that he was a dud.

When you arrived at the restaurant, you found him slung over the bar, his speech already slurred and surrounded by a pool of sticky liquid. After the two of you got seated it only got worse. Just as you were about to order, Richie began to dry heave. Dismissing himself to the bathroom, only to never be seen again. The waiter found him throwing up in a urinal and called him a cab. Informing you ten minutes later when he dropped off his extensive bar tab.

“The next one will be better,” Marie peaked out from the gold beaded curtain, holding two hangars. She shifted them around like a scale.

“That’s what you said last time,” you pointed to the black shirt.

Marie nodded in agreement, then disappeared into her closet once again. The curtain swayed back into place, the beads clicking together like rain on a tin roof.

“Let’s face it,” your body bounced back on the mattress, you stared up at the glow in the dark stars in the shape of the Big Dipper on Marie’s bedroom ceiling. “My luck is shit. The best ‘dates’ I’ve had in the past couple months are the ones with Javi and they don’t even count.”

“Well,” The curtain clicked once again, signaling Marie’s return, “Maybe they could.”

Your body jolted up, resting your weight on your elbows as you cocked your head.

“What’re you getting at?”

“Look, I know you say the two of you are just friends-”

You were about to defend yourself, mouth even opened to retort, but Marie’s hand stopped you. Making your jaw twitch shut. She plopped down on the bed, her body sliding down the divet.

“But, I just don’t get why it can’t be more. I mean, the two of you are both single, you spend more time together than most couples do, and let’s not forget he looks like a fucking god. Why not try it out?”

“Because.” You said it like the question was absolutely ridiculous despite knowing otherwise.

“Because…” Marie’s voice became more insistent, the way it always did when she was frazzled,

“Because he’s your brothers’ friend? Because he’s a little older than you?”

“Marie-”

“What?” Her eyes grew twice as big, “Is it because he doesn’t do commitment? Because he could change.”

Marie was someone that believed men were malleable, that with a few simple presses they could be turned into exactly what she imagined. And while you secretly wished that with a few simple kneads that Javier or even Ken would want commitment it wasn’t realistic, nor was it right. You never wanted to force someone into anything. Because in the end, if you try to make something bend against their will - their own desire - it’s bound to one day snap.

Besides, there were too many people that shared the same end goal to waste your time on those that didn’t. Never again would you compromise on what was important to you. No more jumping over hurdles. No more going through such lengths.

“Marie,” her shoulders slumped with a deep exhale and she finally fell silent. “I like having Javi as a friend. That’s it. That’s all it is.”

Marie searched your expression. You hyper focused on making sure it remained unchanged. And maybe she sensed that, because she didn’t appear completely sold, and when she spoke you knew the conversation was not over, just tabled for later.

“Fine,” she let out a deep sigh, and slapped her knees before popping off the bed. “Whatever you say.” In silence, she headed to the full length mirror to start her makeup routine.

Wannabe by the Spice Girls played on her stereo as the two of you sat in silence. As the song faded - her first coat of mascara applied - she broke it by shifting topics.

“I was gonna see if you and Brooke wanted to get brunch on Saturday?” She asked, looking at you in the reflection.

“Can’t, I got Joe’s birthday. But you’re more than welcome to come.”

Marie turned with a pensive expression, she tapped the mascara bottle to her chin, “Hmmm… hang out with a bunch of narcs in a backyard or get bottomless mimosas with Brooke? I think I’ll choose the latter.”

“I can’t say I blame ya.”

---

It was sunny and 75. The light breeze of the perfect Austin autumn day slipped in through the cracked window on the driver side. Javier slid a cigarette from the confines of the carton to his mouth. The intended effect was instant as the orange tip brushed his bottom lip. The first inhale - the burn on his throat - had him melting into the cloth seat.

He could feel your eyes on him, making him glance over.

Your hand was still on the knob; you were biting the inside of your cheek - a habit that let him know you were deep in thought. You both knew the only time he reached for one was when a nicorette just wouldn’t do the trick. He told you as much when he indulged in a pack during midterms week.

Neither of you commented, you didn’t have to. You just laid back against the headrest, staring out at the cookie cutter houses in the suburban neighborhood.

Nine years had passed since he saw his old DEA co-workers. Seven since he sent Jeff off to the Colombia airport. No matter how much he tried to ignore it, he could feel the weight of their opinions, the anticipation of their judgmental stares pressing down on him throughout the week.

While Joe was never one for gossip, he couldn’t say the same for the majority of the others. What had Jeff told them? What had they heard? He took a long drag, the smoke clouded the windshield.

His eyes wandered. Would they say anything to you?

The majority of the discussions surrounding his time in the DEA centered around Joe and him. In recent weeks, he had told you little about Steve, but those stories were superficial, and as far as he went. That’s as far as it went with everyone, even his own father. The idea of being questioned about the sensitive subject bothered him, and it was starting to show.

It was as if you knew that somehow your reassuring smile would help his unease. He gulped. Would you look at him like that if you knew?

A few Town & Country minivans and an Audi station wagon lined the street next to the ranch house; the majority of the guests were set to arrive in the next half-hour. Still, you directed him to park in the driveway, claiming it was a sibling privilege.

His hand momentarily stalled on the key fob.

“Are you ready? Or do you need a couple minutes?” You asked.

His hair dragged along the cloth seat as faced you, the anchor that calmed him. He took a deep breath, the teal buttons of his shirt stretching with the expanse of his chest. Bringing the cigarette back to his lips, he locked it in place, taking a few short puffs as he pulled the keys out. He nodded - a slow single bob of his head.

As soon as he opened the door he was immediately hit by a country rock ballad and the sounds of children playing behind the fenced backyard. He took one last long drag before dropping the stick on the concrete with a splash of ash to smush with the toe of his shoe.

After grabbing the boxes of cupcakes from the backseat, you led him through the storm door to a home that was new to him, but not anyone else.

Upon entering, he realized how much larger it actually was then their old city center home he visited when he was in between stints. The formal dining room to the right had a large oak dining set, perfectly centered underneath a brass light fixture. French doors sat adjacent, leading into a spacious office with oak paneling and built-ins.

He followed you down the long hallway that shared the story of the life they built together. Scattered in between photos of their children was a picture of Joe and Ruby on their wedding day - an event he missed. A picture of them kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower and a photo of them on a beach somewhere. Located at the far end of the hall was a family photo - taken in the past year.

Peering over your shoulder, he found himself weak and unable to resist the temptation to stare at the man cradling your waist with a cheesy grin. He had light eyes and dirty blonde hair styled to the side with gel; reminiscent of an off-brand Steve, just a little less pale.

The picture was torn away from view as he rounded the corner into an open living room-kitchen combo. Met by a slightly ajar sliding back door. His heart started to drum in his chest, charging at his ribcage.He tapped at the bottom of the cardboard container. The sounds of laughter coming from the tops of heads that slowly revealed more with each step closer.

It should not have surprised him when you knew exactly what he needed. All of sudden, you slowed before passing the threshold, taking a single step back to position yourself at his side. He latched onto your side profile, but you never even glanced to acknowledge the simple gesture, it was as if it was a natural response, innate.

In sync, the both of you took a step onto the back patio.

“Peña!” Joe raised both his hands in the air, already a little tipsy from drinking on an empty stomach.

Every head whipped to the patio, it was like Joe just announced the headliner, the slightly raised platform now acting as a stage.

A sea of familiar eyes stared back at him, the smallest bit of relief coming over him when he realized Jeff had yet to arrive. A few of the men leaned over, whispering in their wives ears, no doubt telling them who he was.

“Come on,” you tilted your head towards the buffet table where Ruby was setting up, “Let’s go drop these off.”

Their eyes burned into him, following him as he did you through the yard. The back of your head was what he focused on, then he trailed down to the white t-shirt underneath your strappy floral sundress. Going just a little further to your hips, watching them sway with the cotton material.

Ruby called your name, followed by “Peña.” Oddly, it had a nice ring to it, and he felt his cock twitch in his jeans. Where the fuck did that come from?

“Thank you so much for coming, and bringing these.” Ruby kissed your cheek and pulled him into a one-armed side hug once the boxes were firmly placed on the table.

“Auntie!” A little girl - Ruby’s replica - squealed from the far corner of the yard. Nicole if he remembered correctly.

A small boy with curly hair, Tyler, turned, zipping past his sister and nearly knocking Javier over as he latched to your side. He had grown so much since the last time he saw him.

Nicole’s pigtails bounced with her unsteady steps, barrelining into your leg. You let out an exaggerated hmph as you turned into a human sandwich.

You rustled their hair affectionately, making them both giggle. “I missed you.” You looked between the two as you spoke. A smile permanently on your face - bright and affectionate. His chest tightened.

“I want you to meet daddy and my friend, this is Javi. Can you say hi?”

Nicole scurried behind your leg, turning shy at the stranger. She gave the smallest wave, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Hi Javi.”

He waved at the little girl.

“I’ve met him before,” Tyler corrected you with his hands now firmly on his hips. Only remembering the fact based on his father telling him the night before.

“I remember you,” Javier said with a light chuckle and a wave. The boy enjoyed that answer, his lips upturning into a proud smirk.

“Now, I gotta help your mommy set up, but I’ll come find you later. Okay?” The two kids both gave an identical pout, which you returned with a stern look. They both dropped their heads with a nod, waving goodbye as they took off towards the other children.

“Honestly, I hardly have anything left, and I know Joe is just dying to talk to Javier. Get yourself a beer or lemonade, they’re in the cooler..” Ruby said as soon as the kids were out of earshot.

You opened your mouth to protest, but she shooed you in the direction of the cooler. Grabbing a beer for Javier and a lemonade for yourself, the two of you made your way to the group of people standing in a semi-circle in the middle of the yard.

---

Javier started to allow himself to relax - as much as Javier could relax in a group of people. It had been ten minutes of small talk, and not once was Colombia or his time in the DEA brought up.

His old co-workers were eager to share about their own lives - luckily not focusing on his.

They introduced him to the wives he had not met. Detailing the changes that occurred in the almost decade that had passed. Each one proudly pointed out their kids as they played stuck in the mud in the yard.

The longer he stood there - watching the children run around and the couples dote on one another - the more he felt like the star in It’s A Wonderful Life. Like a guardian angel was giving him a glimpse of the path he chose not to take. A life where he never went to Colombia, or one where he married Lorraine.

The angel gave him a peak years ago at Danny’s wedding, when he saw Lorraine again. Surrounded by her children, kissing the top of their heads, and for the briefest moment, he wondered what the image would look like if he replaced Randy.

This alternate reality hit the same note as that, but this time it cut deeper. Because these men stood at the same fork in the road, and he was the only one that decided to break away.

In the back of his mind he knew he would have come to regret choosing the domestic path. He was always itching to see the world. Oblivious to what all that entailed. To what he would see. The things he would do.

However, not for a second did he regret his decision to transfer to Colombia. He regretted certain actions, but not the decision. Nor did he regret his decision to leave Lorraine - aside from the way he did it. It was more the plaguing of the what ifs. Would he be happier? What would his life look like now?

“Well, I think I speak for all of us, Peña-” beads of perspiration dripped on his curled fingers, his attention focused on Alex. “-when I say we were shocked to hear about your resignation, we’re sure you were a lifer.”

His back went taut. His guard going up once again.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, his head tilted to one side. He brought the silver can to his lips and took a long drink, the beer lacking the burn he desired.

“I guess why not resign on a high note? I mean. Can’t get much better than catching Escobar and bringing down the Cali cartel. Am I right?” Alex was always an oblivious man that never knew when to shut up.

Javier raised his brows to the sky, giving a single nod with a curt response. “Right.”

“I’m sure you get this a lot, but I gotta ask. What was he like? Escobar?”

“Never met him.” His tongue itched for a cigarette.

The expressions of the group soured into confusion.

Alex opened his mouth once again.

“Oh!” You took a small step into the center, “Before I forget, I’ve been meaning to ask did Ruby give you the big present yet?” Your face scrunched in excitement, like you were too excited to wait.

But he knew you already heard the story.

---

Pockets of people cluttered the lawn; the party officially in full swing. Eating. Drinking. Even dancing.

You however, were stuck in the most boring conversation of your life. All because Joe insisted you meet a guy that worked in the I.T. department.

The man trudged on about the latest software development, unaware of the magnetic pull that continuously directed you to Javier, a straight shot through the crowd each time.

He was in the same spot, next to the buffet table with Ruby and Joe. Along with Ruby’s good friend, Giselle.

Giselle was one of those women that turned heads when she walked into a room. She had a killer body. Long lean legs that led to a round ass. Her chestnut-brown curly hair stopped just below her perky tits, and she had these windswept bangs that framed her oval face perfectly. If you weren’t already envious, the woman looked flawless without an ounce of makeup, always showing up with barely a hint of gloss on her plump lips.

The laugh that escaped those hydrated lips pierced you like an arrow. Making your skin prickle. She had her perfectly manicured fingers wrapped around Javi’s biceps; she was leaning into him, her hair cascading across his chest. They looked like a vision, a couple you see in a movie.

Adding salt to your jealous wound, a smile crept up on his face. And you wished the pang away. Reminding yourself you were just friends. She was a great girl. You were happy for him. Happy he was enjoying himself after the earlier setbacks.

Turning back to the paper man, your eyes glazed over with a ghost of a smile he failed to notice. Not daring to look at Javier again throughout the lecture.

Unaware that he was looking at you.

---

Javier had traded beer for iced water as the party rounded into its third hour. He was standing away from the guests. Back against the wooden fence with his arms folded across his chest while a very drunk Joe wobbled in the middle of the two of you. You both were snickering as Joe slurred on about how happy he was the two of you became friends.

“Agent Peña.”

The hair on the back of his neck stood on end at the all too familiar voice interrupting the carefree chat.

Jeff.

He clapped his hands together, rubbing them like dinner was served. He slithered over with deliberate movement.

Your back straightened against the fence, your eyes glowing with new concern. How did you know about his past with Jeff? But there was no time for questions as Jeff dug his chewed up nails into the flesh by his collarbone.

“How’ve you been?” He licked his lips like a snake.

“Fine.” Javier’s face was unreadable, “Yourself?”

“Never better.” Jeff snapped at the air.

With a final shake he released his claws. Turning his attention to Joe - his face shapeshifting into an affectionate expression. You chewed on the inside of your cheek, eyes darting between Jeff, your brother, and Javier as you watched the man exchange pleasantries with the birthday boy.

As if he couldn’t stand to wear the mask anymore, he shifted once again to Javier, ignoring your presence completely. Not that you cared.

“Man, I can’t believe you’re here. I think the last time I saw this man, I was picking him up at his favorite brothel. That brick two-story. What was that place called again?” Jeff snapped his fingers, but Javier remained stoic.

“Eh. Not important,” Jeff looked him up and down, like a predator about to attack his prey. The fraduelty light-heartedness of his tone was tainted by his maliciousness. “You guys wouldn’t believe what this man got up to in Colombia.”

Javier’s face twitched, and Jeff relished in it.

Javier’s fingers dug into his hip bones. Irritation flowed through his veins. Joe went to interrupt, your body shuffled an inch closer, but Jeff was set. On a mission.

“I mean it is a real shame that the DEA lost such a great agent. When I heard the news, I was devastated. But. I gotta ask.”

“Jeff” Joe grabbed the man’s arm, but he shouldered him away.

“I read a little something in the Miami Herald-”

He held his jaw at a slight jut. His lips pulled tight, his breathing thick- ragged. His blood began to boil in his veins. Making him feel hot all over.

“Jeff,” Joe said as sternly as he could, “Let’s get some food. Now.” Joe’s drunk hands latched to the man’s bicep with as much strength as his jelly muscles could muster. He dragged him away. Jeff smiled over his shoulder, tipping you and Javier.

“Good to see you.” He gloated in payback as he walked away.

If it wasn’t for the heaving of Javier’s chest he would have looked like a statue. He shut his eyes. Trying to ground himself.

It was rare for him to get angry, but Jeff knew what buttons to push. The man had a habit of pointing out everyone else’s flaws in order to distract from his own. Never once facing his mistakes or taking ownership for his own wrong-doings.

It was ironic really, the man was so angry at him for being there till the end, but neither ever saw it through.

“Javi,” your voice covered him like a fire blanket. His breathing faltered. He took a deep exhale that sounded through his nostrils.

“Do you want to go?” You asked. He nodded, it was best to leave now, he wouldn’t let Jeff get the better of him. “Give me the keys. I’ll drive.”

---

The car was silent aside from the simmering of another cigarette.

Javier rubbed the deep crease settled in between his brows.

“Sorry.” His voice sounded dry.

“For what?” You shrugged with a shake of your head. “There’s nothing to apologize for. Honestly. If that

would’ve been me, I probably would’ve punched him.”

Javier’s shoulders lifted in a short single chuckle - the one that sounded like a faltered breath.

“Yeah?” He finally turned to look at you, his head too heavy to hold, so he rested it on the seat frame.

“Yeah. I hate that guy.”

“I didn’t know you knew him.”

“Sadly. I met him a few years ago.” You skimmed between the road and him. “It was at a party, right after he came back. He was a dick then, and he’s a dick now.”

Javier smirked.

A warmness settled in his body for you never looked at him any different for his past. Never uttered a word or pushed for an explanation.

“Do you want to get some ice cream? There’s a great little place at the next exit. Has the best homemade ice cream.”

Javier nodded. Taking note of the way your eyes weren’t filled with anger or judgment. Nor pity. Just compassion. Fondness.

He rushed for another cigarette and faced the window.

The vines in his chest were growing wild, despite him willing them away. They spiraled around his heart with an unbearable ache. He took a long drag. Hoping the nicotine would act as a weed killer.

taglist: @seasonschange-butpeopledont @furious-rogue-stuff @catchallfangirl @honeyofthegods @athalien @peoniarose @phandoz @littlemisspascal @0celesteisthebest0 @hnt-escape @nymphwriting @adriiibell @snowqueen09 @lowlights @dinsangelx @whatodair

[missdawnandherdusk]

Love Story

Draco X Reader

Request: @dracofeltonmalfoy​: your heart breaks at seventeen when you realize that Draco doesn’t love you enough to not marry his betrothed, Astoria. It’s years later and though you’re still hesitant and bitter about what occurred, you still answer the call that Ginny makes to you to help Draco. 

A/n: Look at me posting!! And during midterm week no less!! Thank you so much for this request! (I promise I’m getting to the rest of them). And can I say that I am in love with grown up Draco? Like yes ma’am I’ll take them all. Maturity is attractive. Let me know what you think! I love y’all so much. 

“You don’t understand,” Draco paced the small room. “I have to marry her,”

“Sure,” I spat. “Marry Astoria. I don’t give a damn anymore Malfoy,” I hadn’t used his last name in such a malice tone in years. I could see the effect that it had on him, his face fell.

“Don’t say that,” He begged softly, “Please, I love you,”

“But not enough,” I raised an eyebrow at him. “What happened to everything that we planned? All of the things you promised me? Where did that Draco go?” My voice became thick with tears. “No, you’re so paranoid about your reputation... I’m not waiting around for you to figure out who you want or who you want to follow. I don’t care.” A heavy silence and I had decided. “Have a nice life, Draco.”

“Y/n,” He called as I stood to leave.

“No,” I snapped. “Just... no. I deserve more than this.” 

“I know,” He confessed in a small voice.

That was the last time I spoke to Draco Malfoy in years. At first, I was okay with it. I felt free. I had moved on, found someone new that made what he did to me hurt a bit less. It wasn’t the same, nor what I felt when I was with Draco, but it was enough for the moment. He didn’t last long, and my heart still waited for Draco on some nights, but I had grown up. I had grown confident. I was independent. I didn’t need anyone to tell me they loved me because I loved me. And that was enough. I had healed from having to walk away or face being cut off forever.

I assumed that Draco was happy. His union with Astoria was in the paper. The invitation I received was burned. Why he’d think to invite me left me aggravated and loathing him more than before. But that night I was weak. I cried for Draco Malfoy that night. I almost went. But I refrained. I knew nothing would change even if I did go, so I’d rather be left wondering than left crushed.

The next time I saw Draco’s name in the paper, it was splashed across the front page. A scandal that Skeeter couldn’t wait to publish and get her hands on. Astoria Malfoy caught in an affair with Blaise Zabini. I saw Draco’s stoic face, and though the image moved, and the small child in his arms squirmed, he remained static. I threw the paper down because though it was just a photograph, his eyes still bore into mine, in the same pleading look that he gave me before I left him. I wonder if he knew that I see the photo.

I wonder if he knew that I still loved him even after all these years.

And I had no intention of crossing paths with him. Though I thought about it. A lot. And maybe I had actually written the letter before I burned it... but I decided that no. I was not interfering with his life.

I just never thought that he’d interfere with mine. Well, Harry interfered with my life. Well, Ginny did.

Ginny and I got lunch every once in a while, to catch up along with Hermione. Now that our Hogwarts days and the war was over, an amity fell between the three of us. And it was nice to see some old faces that didn’t cause my heart to rabbit trail into painful memories.

It was a phone call that I had gotten that interfered with my quaint Friday night. 

“Are you in town?” Ginny’s voice sounded strained and frantic.

“Yes, why?” I set down my book, standing.

“Can you come over? We... have a situation...” She voiced.

“What sort of situation?” I pressed, going looking for my shoes and cloak. “Harry just did a spell wrong and now he can’t speak English situation or Ron and Harry tried to do something stupid on their brooms and need medical attention sort of situation?” I teased lightly.

“It relates more to the former...” Ginny sounded almost hesitant to give me details. Her voice was suddenly far from the receiver and muffled. “No, Scorpius, put that down! Harry! No don’t encourage him!” That caught my attention.

“Ginny, what in Merlin’s name!?” I demanded.

“Please just get over here, you were better than we were at potions,”

“Ginny,” I baited.

“Thank you!” Was all she got out and I heard a crash before the line disconnected.

Utterly shocked and standing in deafening silence I let out a frustrated growl. After grabbing my carpet bag of miscellaneous counter curses, antidotes, and talismans I took the Floo network to the Potter’s.

And the sight before me was something that I would not have ever imagined. Draco was slung over Harry’s shoulder, looking intoxicated and completely out of it. Nothing like the cold refined man that I knew him to be. Then Scorpius was running around with Albus all trying to be corralled by James and Ginny while Lily laughed in the background, sitting on the counters.

Deciding that Harry could help with the children more than I could, I rushed to his side and took Draco off his hands, supporting him.

“What’s wrong with him?” I bit out, watching as Harry scooped up Albus as Ginny swooped in and caught Scorpius.

“Nothing, well, he’s been drugged but we’re sure it should wear off in a few hours.” Harry appeased, almost nonchalant.

“Drugged?” I demanded, leading Draco to a well-loved recliner.

“I’m finnnnne,” Draco slurred, his fine blond hair hanging into his eyes in a complete mess. “You have such pretty eyes Y/n,” Draco’s head lulled back against the recliner back as his half- opened eyes gazed into mine.

“Yeah, okay,” I smiled sweetly and gave an alarming look to Ginny—Harry having disappeared into the house with the three other children. “You’ve got to be bloody joking,” I hissed, nearing her.

“I know! Harry was filming him. You should have heard him on the way over. Wouldn’t shut up about you.”

“Get him upstairs.” I begged, exasperated and rubbing my face. “I’m going to find Harry.”

“What? Why?” Ginny’s eyebrows furrowed as she set Scorpius down now that he was calmed with the lack of the other children.

“Because no one makes fun of Draco!” I shouted, not realizing the depth of my words, or how much I sounded like I did back at Hogwarts... when Draco loved me.

Ginny and I both seemed to grasp this as I went red and sighed, going to find Harry. After throwing his phone out the third-floor window, I headed back down a level to where Ginny had taken Draco to a spare room. I found Draco asleep in the bed and Ginny leaning against the doorjamb.

“He’s still asking for you,” Ginny muttered. “He wants to know where the ‘fairest maiden has gone and when will she return’” She raised an eyebrow at me.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I groaned, distressed. “How am I supposed to deal with him like this?”

“You probably know better than any of us.” Ginny pointed out. “Isn’t there a counter curse? Or something that you have or know?”

“In all my years I’ve seen nothing close to this. It’s like he’s drunk and on Veritaserum and Amorentia and believe me there is no legal potion out there with that sort of affect.”

“So... what do we do with him?” She asked.

“Wait it out? That’s all I know to do.” I paused. “I’ll stick around and make sure he doesn’t start to die or anything... but I can’t fix him,”

Ginny nodded and gave me a pity look. “Are you going to be okay?”

“That is not the question to ask right now,” I muttered, shrugging off my cloak. “Go on up to Harry and your little ones. Make sure Scorpius is alright, I’ll look after him,”

“If you need anything,” She baited.

“I’ll call,” I smiled.

Alone in the room, I sighed and stared at him before heading to the edge of the bed and sitting gently on the edge.

“Draco?” I asked softly, trying to hide the hurt that sparked in my chest. 

“Y/n, my fair maiden,” He slurred, trying to get up.

“No, no, you need to lie down,” I scolded, pushing him back down, pressing my hand to his forehead—he didn’t have a fever.

“As my lady commands.” He mumbled, causing me to withdraw my touch.

“Don’t.” I inhaled sharply. “You need to sleep Draco. You need to get better.”

“I’m already better with you here,” A dopey smile crossed his face.

“Oh my god Draco!” I snapped, standing, pacing the small room. “Stop saying things like that! You don’t mean them, and I don’t want to hear it!”

When I didn’t get a response from him, I looked over and he was fast asleep at an awkward angle. Sighing, I brushed the stray strands of silky hair from his face and slowly righted him, taking off his shoes and socks positioning him in the center of the bed. After I laid a blanket over him, I sat in the lone chair that was in his room and taking my book from my bag, started again.

It neared eleven at night, and he still hadn’t woken back up. My book finished, I sighed again and stood, stretching. Leaving his room, I saw Harry nodding off in his chair downstairs, Scorpius in his arms, also asleep.

“To bed with you,” I smiled, helping him up.

“Draco?”

“Still asleep.” I informed. “I’m gonna change and I’ll be back to watch him.” 

_______________________

Draco blinked, his head pounding, trying to keep up with the blurred image around him. The first thing he noticed was the blanket over him and his shoes were gone and that you were asleep in the chair next to his bed and this bed was most certainly not his—neither were you for that matter. His memory was fuzzy, and he didn’t remember much, and he didn’t like not remembering.

In an attempt to get up, he woke you, not sure why some part of him cared. He didn’t ask to be taken care of like a child. He processed that he was at the Potter’s for some godforsaken reason, and that you were next to him. Some part of him wished he was just having a really awful nightmare.

“Draco?” You asked sleepily.

Who else would it be?

“Yes,” He spoke quietly.

“Are you... you again?” You mumbled.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He snapped, defensive that you were there, or anywhere near him. The nightmare continued.

“You were drugged... were acting weird for a while... I had to throw Harry’s phone out a window.” Your words made some sense... except the last part.

“Why would you do that?” He mused, enjoying your half-asleep state.

“He recorded you... was making fun of you... wasn’t right...” You stretched and rubbed your face yawning.

“I see,” There was a pang in his heart at your words. Something reminiscent in them. Maybe this wasn’t a nightmare after all.

You nodded and stood, staggering slightly. “How long have you been there?”

“What time is it?” You asked weakly. 

“Five in the morning,”

“Mhmm... twelve hours? Finished my book.” You gestured vaguely and yawned again. “M’gonna head back home.”

You started to walk towards the door and almost fell. He was there to catch you though. Your hands clutched at his shirt, running the fabric through your fingertips.

“Okay, yeah. You’re going to stay right here,” Draco muttered. “Because I am not dragging you down those stairs or back home.”

“I’m fine, I’ll get Ginny to take me home,” You yawned gesturing vaguely, your eyes still didn’t open all the way.

“No, you’re not. You’re sleep deprived, and whereas I can handle it, you can’t.” However long he had been asleep—twelve hours apparently—had given him enough rest to be completely awake and alert.

“You’re bossy.”

He chuckled at your sleep ridden words and moved you to his bed, tucking you under the blanket he had been under. You smiled and inhaled them deeply, relaxing instantly. He wondered why you thought of him as a reason to relax.

When he got up to leave, your eyes opened partly.

“Where are you going? You need to rest more. You were drugged.” 

“I’ve dealt with worse drugs Y/n,”

“Mmm I don’t think you’ve ever been like that. I’ve seen you high and drunk and that was... something else.” You mumbled. “Please rest Draco. Stay with me and sleep.”

Your words were like daggers to his heart. Were you aware that you were saying them? Surely you couldn’t be, because surely you wouldn’t ever mean them. It had been too long since you ever murmured those words.

“Am I not allowed to find to where my son has gone?” He mused, knowing you’d let him go for that and then be too far into sleep to notice that he didn’t come back.

You hummed in agreement he supposed. Just as he went to close the door, he heard you jumbled words again.

“Why would you say that?” There was hurt and confusion in your tone. “Why would you...?”

Not knowing whatever that was about, Draco closed the door softly behind him and sighed. He felt disgusting. He wanted nothing more than a warm bath and some fresh clothes and for Merlin’s sake a comb. But those things would have to wait, because bright blue eyes blinked up in the early morning as they always did.

“Good morning my little birdie,” Draco smiled, pulling Scorpius into his arms. “Quite a change of scenery here isn’t it?” He mused, to a nodding giggling Scorpius.

“Draco, you’re awake,” The tired voice belonged to Ginny, who sounded surprised even in her weary state.

“I am,” A quiet pause. “Thank you... I’m not quite sure what happened last night but...”

“Do you have any memory at all?” Ginny asked, taking out a jar of applesauce, setting a bowl and spoon for Scorpius.

“I... no. I was at the Gala, next thing I know, I wake up and Y/n is asking if I’m me again,” Draco thanked her and began to spoon feed Scorpius the apple puree.

“Are you, you?” Ginny asked, leaning against the counter before setting off to brew a pot of coffee.

“Quite,” He clipped. “What does that even mean? What happened last night?”

Unbridled terror set in Draco’s chest as Ginny recounted the night back to him. The only thing that kept him from breaking something was the toddler in his arms, clinging to him.

“I... I was asking for Y/n?” Draco asked, his voice shaking.

“Honey, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say even intoxicated and drugged, you knew she’d be there for you,” Ginny raised her eyebrow at him. “You wanna explain that?”

Draco shot her a cold look and went back to aiding Scorpius eat. Maybe that had been why you asked why he would say something like that... and that was a valid and honest question: why would he? He had gotten over you. That was that. He moved on.

Not that he loved Astoria. No, he could never see her as more than someone who drove you away from him. And perhaps that was the reason behind her affair. Maybe it was because she knew that he didn’t love her, and she didn’t love him. Some part of him wished that she had just been honest with him... then it wouldn’t be such gossip in the Wizarding World. They could have divorced and gone on their own ways. But perhaps not. The marriage was arranged. It would take more than a divorce to end it. Perhaps the scandal was for the best after all.

“Thank you for your hospitality, but I’m afraid I have to go,” Draco said softly. 

“Draco,” Ginny chided. “You can’t just leave her here,”

“I can do as I please,” Draco snapped harshly before remembering himself. “Thank you, once more,”

Draco only hesitated when he went to fetch his shoes from the spare room, and caught sight of you sleeping soundly, a soft smile on your face. Something in his chest distorted a bit more.

_________________________

I woke in the late morning, semi remembering why I was at Ginny’s, then it all came flooding back. I didn’t even have to ask where Draco had gone because I knew he had gone. I knew he’d leave at the first chance he’d get.

Apologizing and thanking Ginny, I headed back home to shower and don clean clothes. Ginny gave me a worried look and said to call if I needed anything. I assured her I was fine and wasn’t going to have an emotional breakdown. Crying while I showered meant nothing.

I was fine.

Monday at work, Harry found me in the staff room fixing a cup of tea.

“You’re going to have to talk to him eventually,” Harry nudged my shoulder as we stood at the mini coffee bar, not even having to specify who he thought I should speak to.

“I’m not gonna follow him around like a lost puppy Harry, I’m done with that.” I shifted the weight on my feet. “He’s grown, he can handle himself,”

“Well I get that, but you can... act human at least. You’re shutting him out completely.” Harry pointed out. “And I don’t think either of you want that,”

“I wouldn’t know what he wanted,” I sighed in vain. “It’s not that easy Harry,” I pressed, cradling my mug in my hands. “I haven’t worried about him before, why should I now?”

“Because when he was drugged all he could do was ask for you and you dropped everything to make sure he was alright and slept in a chair for a night to keep an eye on him?” Harry raised an eyebrow.

“And maybe it was the drug and maybe I’m a decent person,” I refuted.

“All I’m saying I’ve been his work partner for a better half of five years and I’ve never seen him like this. He’s shutting everyone else out since the affair... everyone but you,” Harry’s green eyes reaffirmed his words.

I stared at my tea and didn’t say a word. I didn’t want to believe Harry’s words. I didn’t want to entertain the idea that maybe there was something left between Draco and I. But no matter how much I didn’t want to, I still thought about it all day during work, despite my best efforts.

How fitting it was that it was raining as I stepped onto the London street. Typical of London, no doubt, but it seemed as a sign all the same. Going to cast a shielding charm I froze when I saw in my peripheral pale skin and near white hair. I tried not to pay him any mind, but it seemed that whatever intentions I had were stopped by the words Harry had said earlier. My eyes wandered out to the city streets as rain started to fall slightly harder.

“Y/n?” Draco called my attention, his use of my name barely having any life in it.

“Yes?” I tore my attention away from the view.

“It’s raining,”

“Stellar observation,” I commented, remembering my shielding charm, creating an umbrella over me.

“Perhaps you would like to get out of it?” His voice was hesitant. “I suppose I do owe you for Friday night,”

That caught my attention and I finally turned to look at him. His was reserved, guarded. Yet there was something in his eyes that he couldn’t hide. A hope. A wish. A fantasy that I had written myself out of.

“You don’t owe me anything,” I finally whispered.

A sad sort of smile played at his lips. His eyes still didn’t leave mine as if we were transfixed on another, the stars wishing us to remain connected.

Screw the stars.

“Have a nice evening,” I ushered out before Apparating back home.

It was that night that I gave in. For the first time in almost ten years I gave in. There was a small fabric box tucked into my closet, collecting dust. Green and black with silver engravings. Tears streaming down my face, I sat on my bedroom floor and opened it.

It was every letter he wrote me. I should have burned them long ago, but I never did.

~

My Dearest, Y/n,

In the midst of this darkness, you are the only light I need. I’d face a world full of demons for the sake of you, my angel. I know it is dark now, and this path isn’t ideal, but I will fight for you, I will fight with you. Stand by my side my dearest angel. Be the fairytale maiden in this narrative and let me be your hero. I’ll never leave you, my love. And when morning light comes, I shall be in your arms again and my world will be complete.

Look after my heart, I’ve left it with you, 

Your Draco

~

My Beloved, Y/n,

Do you know what my paradise would be? You and me, away from it all. Free and able to love and live freely. Rainy days and warm cups of tea. Even without a fire to keep us warm, the warmth of your smile will keep me from freezing even on the coldest night. And though it may be nothing more than you reading a book or watching the sun rise, you’d be my goddess, the reason I existed, the one that I praised and prayed to each morning and evening. My paradise would be you and I, in a heaven of our own when I could worship you in every way, in every language known to man.

Your Draco

~

My Darling, Y/n,

How this summer grows longer with every day that passes. I wish that I weren’t away in Paris having to accompany my parents. I’d much rather be in your arms. And each night I watch the stars and the moon, knowing that you are doing the same. We are watching the same moon after all, no matter how far apart we are. That gives me more hope that you are true, and not a dream that I’ve let run wild.

And just as the night that I could not see the moon because of the clouds, I know that even now, though I do not see you, I know you are still there and that you still love me. You are my moon, my darling. You are my stars, my night sky. You hold every bit of majesty and wonder as they do.

I shall be back soon my love, 

Your Draco

~

Though the pile of unread letters was still tall, my vision was blurred by tears and heart wrenching sobs that broke from my chest. Hugging my knees and hiding my face in my arms, I wept. For the first time in years, I let myself mourn Draco Malfoy. For the love that I had for him. For the love that we shared. For the boy I knew in Hogwarts and for the man I resented. For the Draco Malfoy that called to me while drugged and inebriated. For the Draco Malfoy who had tried to make amends. For the Draco Malfoy I had turned down.

I mourned the girl in the mirror as well. For her broken jaded heart. For the years she spent alone and in denial. I mourned the girl who would still do anything for him if he’d only ask. I mourned the girl who was tired of trying to be strong on her own. I mourned the girl who craved companionship even though she was confident in herself.

I cried for the lovers in the letters. I held them close to my chest and cried. Tears dripped off of my cheeks and onto the faded aged parchment. Senseless words left my lips as I tried to rationalize these emotions. As I tried to make sense of this feeling—something that I had neglected for too long.

The hour was late as my fire burned lower and lower in my hearth. I sat curled up under a blanket on the floor with a mug of tea. Watching the flames, I let myself reminisce about the past. About Draco. About what could have been. A small smile lingered on my lips as gentle tears fell occasionally.

The rest of the week, I didn’t run into Draco. Not that I sought him out. Or that our departments ever crossed. Or that I cared.

I did however run into a former Malfoy in Diagon Alley a week after having to babysit Draco. 

“Astoria,” my voice was calm and gentle as rage lurked beneath.

“Y/n,” she seemed almost happy to see me as she came forward to hug me. My cold step back stopped her, her eyes finding my judgemental gaze. Her demeanor changed. 

“Of all the people I know, I thought you’d understand,” her voice was guarded and hurt.

“Thought I’d understand?” I nearly gasped, surprised at my anger towards her. “I know Draco like I know my own mind. I hope you’re happy because you’ll never find someone that trusting and kind again.” Our glares combatted another as tension grew between us.

“You walked out on him same as I did.” She accused. “Who do you think had to pick him up from that?” Her words were sharp as I took a breath in.

“I walked away because he had to marry you!” I snarled. “I’d never walk out on him if I had another choice!” We were starting to draw attention of passersby. I didn’t really care. “I chose his happiness over mine,”

“Oh really?” She didn’t seem convinced.

“I chose your happiness over mine, even.” I realized. “He had to get married. He had to marry rich. A pureblood. Someone his parents approved of. He desperately wanted their approval...” my voice fell as the memories came flooding back. “That made him happy back then, doing what he thought was right...”

“You should be thanking me then!” Astoria exasperated. “I gave him his happiness!”

“Are you serious?” I demanded. “You broke his heart! You left him with a child alone! You publicly humiliated him! In clearing your name from the Malfoy’s you’ve ruined his life! And you think he’s happy now!?”

“How about we ask him?” She countered; her gaze fixed on someone in the distance.

I whirled around, meeting curious jaded blue eyes as he strolled down the lane. 

“Draco,” The soft gasp left my lips.

“What’s the meaning of this?” His voice was calm despite the firmness it held as he addressed me, not Astoria.

“Nothing,” I answered softly. “It’s nothing,”

“Sure, defend his honor and call it nothing,” Astoria sneered.

“You don’t get to talk,” I snapped, turning back to her. “You’ve done enough.”

“Y/n,” Draco chided softly, taking a place beside me. “I can handle this,”

“Draco,” I argued, looking up at him only to be silenced by a steady pleasing gaze from his eyes.

“Astoria,” He finally greeted, and I could see his guard go up. There was a warning in his single word and something passed between them.

“Draco,” She nodded then turned to leave without another word. He went to leave as well, and I caught his arm.

“Draco, hang on,” I called.

As he faced me, a sadness lingered in his eyes. I wondered about Harry’s words and how he was shutting everyone out. Everyone but me.

“If that offer is still open...” I tested. “I’d love to get out of the rain with you,”

Calculations ran through his eyes and I could see each one. For a moment I thought my request was a lost cause. That he was about to turn me down as I turned him down not a few days ago. Our eyes locked and the stars seemed to draw us back together. Now... now I felt something different. Something new in my heart towards Draco. It wasn’t what it had been before, but something morphed, changed, unyielding.

“Alright,” He nodded with a sigh.

“If you don’t want to... you don’t owe me anything Draco,” I rushed out, taking a small step back.

“Publicly defending my honor might count for something,” He mused softly. “Shall we?”

“I think I mentioned tea,” A soft chuckle left my lips as we entered Florean Fortescue Ice Cream Parlor.

“This is a favorite of Scorpius’,” Draco murmured. “I’ve grown accustomed to it...” He paused. “You used to like it as well,” A small smirk lingered on his face. “Has that changed?”

“No,” I admitted, flushing a bit pink.

“Butter pecan, waffle cone?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Waffle bowl,” I amended. “I’m not a child,”

“Oh, I’m sure,” He let out a soft laugh and ordered for the two of us. He hadn’t changed either, he still chose mint chocolate chip in a sugar cone.

“So, where’s Scorpius, he’s not old enough for Hogwarts, is he?” I asked as we sat at a small table outside.

“Merlin, no,” Draco chuckled. “He’ll be six in January, and at the moment he’s with my mother. She watches him while I’m away at work,” He said in a matter-of-fact tone.

“How’s he doing with—um...” I asked timidly,

Draco’s smile sobered as his gaze dropped to the table to the used napkins that had gotten the stickiness off of our hands and left colorful wrappings from the cones.

“Or not,” I whispered. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. It wasn’t my place,”

“Still the apologetic I see,” A sad sort of smile hit his lips. “And he’s taking it hard... harder than I am, I think. I knew she didn’t love me... I don’t think he ever understood it all...”

“I’m so sorry,” I offered.

He shot me an amused look.

“I mean it,” I insisted. “It’s not fair for either of you...” 

“Thank you,” Genuine gratitude held in his voice.

“Oi, Malfoy! Lunch ended twenty minutes ago!”

I heard a familiar voice and turned to see Harry walk into the small shop. As soon as Harry saw me sitting across from Draco, his demeanor changed and a grin grew on his face as if to say: ‘I told you so,’ but to which one of us I wasn’t sure.

“Hi Y/n,” Harry said cheerfully.

“Not a word, Potter,” Draco and I said simultaneously before catching the other’s gaze. Harry and I began to laugh, and I heard the gentle sound of Draco’s true laughter—something he rarely did, even when I knew him, but I cherished the sound all the same.

“I’m glad you two got to catch up, I am, but Draco, Mulligan has my arse because you’re missing,” Harry air-quoted the last word.

Sighing, Draco stood. “Y/n,” Was all he said as a goodbye before he and Harry set off.

I sat and stared at the empty space he left for a while, wondering what was going on between us. Was something going on between us? My heart said yes but my mind said no. I had forfeited the right to have anything with him. I walked away.

But still I wondered.

The next morning my phone kept chiming. Again, and again it wouldn’t stop with notifications and calls. I groaned and grabbed it off my beside table and squinted at it. A lot of the notifications were from friends and people I rarely talked too. One of them was from Ginny. I opened that one.

“How was your date?” It read and showed a picture of Draco and me at the ice cream parlor yesterday. We looked happy. The headline read:

Malfoy Moving On? Head Auror Caught with Old Classmate Sweetheart After Scandal

Then it dawned on me. This made the news. National news.

Scrolling through my phone, I found a number that I had but never called before. I had gotten it from Harry and Ginny long ago for emergences if Harry got injured on a case. I don’t think he knows I have it.

“Hello? Auror Malfoy,” A slightly tired voice answered, and it drew a smile on my lips before I remembered why I called.

“Draco,” I began, not knowing how to start this conversation.

“Y/n? How did you get my number?” In his weariness his tone was a lot harsher and blunt. His words stung.

“Harry gave it to me in case I needed it if something went wrong on one of your cases,” I explained softly. “I can delete it if you want... I was just wondering if you’ve seen this morning’s paper yet,”

“I have not,” He replied.

“Oh,” Anxiety grew in my chest. “Call me when you do?” I squeaked out. “Or don’t. Yeah, bye,” I quickly hung up and screamed at the ceiling, throwing my phone across the room. “Stupid Draco Malfoy!” I shouted at no one. Staring at the ceiling I wasn’t aware of how long I sat there.

Then my phone started ringing across the room. Of course, it was Draco.

“Hello?” I answered timidly.

“When can you be at the Manor? We need to talk,” Nothing scared me more than those four words.

“I—uh... half an hour?” I fumbled for words. “Draco—” The line disconnected. “Draco!” I yelled in frustration.

My body trembled as I got ready, knowing that that last time we had “talked” had ended our relationship and set us on different paths. I hoped to the stars that that wouldn’t happen again. I... I liked having Draco in my life. I wanted to be there for him, because according to Harry, I was the only one he would let in. Then there was the matter of whatever happened the night he was wasted and calling for me.

Taking the Floo network, I stepped into Malfoy Manor—a place I hadn’t been in over ten years. Draco was waiting for me in the grand foyer, appearing quite unkept, his hair a rumpled mess and his dress shirt still untucked, the tie hanging loosely around his neck.

“Hello,” I offered softly.

He hummed a greeting and motioned for me to follow him. I thought that I was going to throw up with the amount of anxiety bubbling in my stomach. I didn’t like this at all.

Leading me into the grand kitchen he nodded to the island bar where two mugs of tea had been set out. My heart panged as I looked at the warm liquid that held the right hue of creaminess and I wondered if Draco remembered how I took my tea after all this time.

“I’m having Mulligan and Granger take care of it,” was all he said as he took a careful sip of his tea, his gaze fixed upon the newspaper on the counter before us.

“Take care of it?” I pressed, frowning.

“The photos. The newspapers.” He filled in.

“No, I get that,” I almost rolled my eyes, “But why? It’s just gossip...” 

“Why?” Draco almost snapped. I looked to my tea ashamed. He took a breath. 

“Do you regret it? Yesterday?” I barely spoke.

“Why would I?” He acted if I were the insane one here, “We went out. We enjoyed each other’s company. It was fine.”

“Then why would you tell Mulligan to— “

“I didn’t.” He stopped me. “He told me he was doing it. He was supposed to have stopped it from ever happening.”

“You knew. You knew this was going to happen,”

“Yes, or something like it, and I tried to stop it. The press has been... unforgiving of my name and business as of late and I didn’t want to drag anyone else into it,”

I nodded and looked down till I heard him sigh.

“Especially not you,” He tacked on.

“What?” My sleep deprived brain was trying to catch up.

Draco pursed his lips and stared at the photo of us smiling at another on the front page.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I do believe that I have forfeited the right to ask anything of you or hope to include you into my life in any way,” Melancholy riddled his words and my heart fell as I yearned to reach out for him.

“So, you’ve been avoiding me?” I didn’t understand the frustration I felt. “I... You—God above Draco.” I hissed. “Why don’t you let my make that choice myself? I forfeited that right just as much as you did,”

“I don’t see how,”

“I walked away from you... I made that choice.” 

“But did you have a choice?” Draco countered softly.

I didn’t have a response for that. Not a good one that I could defend well. Sure, I could claim I did and that I made the choice... but back then, our hands were tied. There was fear and war and uncertainty, and perhaps I didn’t have a choice after all.

He spoke before I had the chance to form a sound argument.

“As you know work with Harry as well.”

“Yes,” I acknowledged.

“And that a week ago Friday was a bit of a disaster for the both of us,”

“Wouldn’t be one of my least favorite nights, but a disaster... sure.” I drawled, raising an eyebrow. He ignored my taunt and pressed on.

“Harry suggested that I take you out to make it up to you. Hence the invitation that one day and then our date yesterday,” His explanation made me pause.

“That was a date?” I asked, anxiety growing in my chest of where this could go.

“I mean... it fit all the perimeters of a date.” He was testing the waters as much as I was.

I let out a short laugh.

“I suppose it did,” I nodded to the paper in front of us.

“He also said that perhaps I shouldn’t have to be inebriated to figure out and express my emotions toward you—or anyone for that matter,” He tacked on, a mumbled mess.

“I... you—”

“You asked me why I would say something like what I said,” Draco gave, pressing on, not giving me a moment to process. “I doubt you remember it—you were half awake—but... No matter how much I’ve lost the right and privilege, I want you in my life, Y/n. Apart of it, if you’re willing,”

They talked about time freezing around you and how everything comes into focus. And that there are moments when all of the heartache and pain will one day count for something, and perhaps this was it. This was that moment. That point that I could make all of the pain and tears mean something beautiful. Something not quite new, but no longer old and forgotten.

“I... I want you in my life too,” I whispered the confession. “It’s... it’s really nice... to have you back,” My gaze dropped to the counter and the tea in my hands as guilt pierced through me.

“Can... can you ever forgive me? For all the hurt and pain I’ve caused you? Have I done too much that there’s no hope?”

“I... I never blamed you.” I admitted. “Or if I did, I don’t now. But Draco, we’re both different people now. I... I need your patience. Because as much as I want to say yes, I... I don’t know. I don’t know what hurts are going to come back up or what scars might reopen... If you’re willing to deal with that...”

“If you’re willing to deal with the rumors and gossip and stuffy life that I lead... I’ll wait a thousand lifetimes for you to be ready again,”

________________________

The kindness and forgiveness in your eyes brought him back. Way back. To the Yule Ball when you had been introduced to him. It was a dance of formalities and posture. He knew that you were a bit of a flirt, but after spending time with you, he could see that your bright over-friendly personality earned you such a reputation.

When Draco was younger, when he was at Hogwarts, when you were by his side, he thought he knew three things that would never change.

The first was that he was a Malfoy. He had to marry rich, marry whoever his parents picked out for him. There was no debate about that. It was the way things were. Keep the pureblood line going and the wealth in the family, if not expound upon it. He was the only son of his parents and it was his duty to carry the name on, carry it higher. He was a Malfoy.

The second was that as soon as he saw your face, that all changed. There was no one quite like you. He had never met anyone who matched him heart and mind and yet somehow you were kind and gentle at the same time. Your intelligent eyes that made him forget his name. He knew there would never be a day that he didn’t love you. That freedom you gave. He loved you.

And thirdly: he was betrothed to Astoria Greengrass.

That was about a decade ago. Now, only one of those things held true. Blinking away the memories and thoughts, he met your intelligent determined eyes once more. Everything came crashing down around him. The truth.

Draco didn’t have to marry rich. He had and the girl he married had an affair with another man and he was free from the obligation. He was no longer engaged to Astoria. He no longer had to entertain her listless petty stories or her frivolous shallow needs. He had a son. That kept the family name going, that kept the pureblood line alive.

But Draco still loved you.

And God damn him if he wouldn’t find every way to express that to you.

Maybe that was the reason behind his further actions. It was the reasoning behind why he reached out to you, stroking your face softly as he did long ago. He caressed your cheek as if it were precious marble, a sculpture given to him by the gods.

And for the first time in ten years, Draco didn’t have to fantasize what it would be like to kiss you again. He didn’t have to desperately cling to how your lips felt against his. He didn’t have to deny how much he missed you.

Frozen under his touch, Draco worried that perhaps this was something he should regret. That he should stop. That he should deny still.

But your hand came up slowly, not to push him away but to hold him close as he held you, cradling his face as if he were the most precious thing to you. Your fingers curled into his hair, causing the butterflies in his chest to set flight. Your soft sounds were met with his steady purrs.

His tongue danced with yours in a forgotten waltz. Even after all this time you still tasted the same: sweet, alluring, and faintly like chai.

But you pulled away all too soon for his liking.

“You’re gonna be the death of me one day, Malfoy,” A smile curled on your lips.

“‘Til death do we part,” He jested lightly, earning a slight giggle from you as you pulled away and rebalanced yourself on the barstool.

“So... are we doing this? Like actually doing this?” You asked, fear lurking in your voice.

“I will do everything I can to make this right. To do this properly. To give you what you deserve,” He couldn’t quite understand why you laughed this time.

“I know you love your rules and traditions, but Draco I don’t need any of that and I don’t want any of that. I just want you. To get to know you again. To get to know Scorpius. I want my friend back,”

The desperate plea in your voice mirrored in your eyes and maybe he understood you a bit better and maybe himself, because he wanted that as well. He wanted you in his life. Woven into it. And possibly the first step to having that, was to get to know you again.

So, he would wait. He would learn. And he would love you till his dying day. 

“That would be enough,” Draco smiled softly and took your hand into his.

A few months of dates and quiet nights and lunches together in the break room and the rumors in the papers seemed to fade and the shock value seemed to wane to others. But Draco was still amazed that you decided to stay by his side. That you let him back into your narrative. That you completely adored Scorpius more than his own mother ever did.

As you crouched beside Scorpius and a peacock on the Manor grounds as the three of you took an evening stroll, the smile you gave him made him believe that the past ten years were nothing but a terrible dream. A trial to prove that he had earned this reward.

Though you had asked for patience, it turned out that he needed some as well. Draco had no idea how deep seeded the betrayal from Astoria and his supposed best friend affected him. There were times that he grew angrier than he meant to. There were times he was harsher than he wanted to be. There were times he was more distant than he needed to be. There were times that he was more reckless than he should be.

And there were times when something lingered in your eyes that he didn’t quite enjoy. Fear, or hesitancy. There were new boundaries that you had, and he had learned to respect. You weren’t the same girl he knew at Hogwarts. You were independent, confident, self-made, but still kind and gentle. You didn’t depend on him for everything. You didn’t lean into every touch. You didn’t smile at every jest. His perspective of you changed, and he loved every change made.

A weekend when Scorpius had gone to his parent’s house in Paris for a weekend was the night that Draco truly felt alone for the first time in a long time—since you had been back in his life. As the hour grew later, he paced his study, debating on going to see you, knowing well you’d still be awake.

As the ghosts of his past came to life and overpowered your gentle voice in his mind, Draco was decided. Drawing his wand, he apparated straight to you.

“What in Merlin’s name!?” You demanded, wand drawn, looking frantic, only relaxing when you saw that it was him.

“I... couldn’t sleep. Everything is...” His voice was small, like a frightened child.

You lowered your wand as he stood in the doorway of your bedroom. Running a hand through your hair you sighed softly. He knew he was asking a lot—too much even. It had been a boundary of yours. You weren’t ready to sleep with him—innocently, not sensually—yet.

“Well, come on then,” You smiled softy, sliding over in your bed. “Just like old times,” His memory flickered back to the sleepless nights in the dorms at Hogwarts behind drawn drapes.

“This isn’t me trying—” Draco started, not wanting to push your boundary. He’d sleep on the couch for Merlin’s sake. He just wanted to be near someone who cared for him.

“I know,” You replied softly, reading him like an open book, as you were always able to. 

“And I don’t—”

You rose from your bed, going over to him.

“Still trust me?” You whispered, your hands running up his arms, earning a shudder from him.

Draco nodded; his gaze transfixed on you. He knew what the question meant. It had been a routine of yours at Hogwarts. When he couldn’t seem to get a grip on the day and came to you at night, you were always there to care for him.

And you were there now.

Slowly you unbuttoned his shirt, leaving it to the floor. Going over to your dresser, you pulled out one a shirt that he recognized as his and placed it in his hands. He gripped the fabric tightly.

“You kept this?” His eyebrow furrowed.

A shrug left your shoulders as you neared your dresser again, opening another drawer. “Cotton or fleece?” The question was soft.

“Cotton,”

“I have flannel?” You offered, pulling out a pair of plaid sweats.

“That’ll do,” Draco smiled as you handed him the pants; he gripped them tightly as well.

“You’re safe,” You encouraged, stroking his cheek. “No one’s going to hurt you. No one expects anything of you. You’re alright here... You’re with me,”

“You knew I was coming,” It wasn’t an accusation.

“Eventually, yes. You hate nights alone.” The warmth of your eyes was intoxicating. 

“I prefer it when you’re here,” He admitted.

“Then go change and we can get some sleep, yeah?”

That night had been quiet. It had taken some time, but eventually you laid in his arms, holding onto him as he held onto you. Silent tears fell for the both of you—of fear and acceptance and a new beginning. A step forward.

..........

Draco paced the floor, keeping a close watch to his temper as you arrived, looking confused and worried. And with the scarce information that he gave to you, it was well placed. Without a word—fearing that it might not be a kind one— he led you into the den, to where Scorpius was sitting on the couch, looking guilty and repentant.

“Scorpius,” Draco’s voice was concise and controlled. “Would you care to explain exactly what you told me to Miss Y/n?”

Some anger leaked through. A gentle hand on his shoulder reminded him to find calmness. A gentle smile on your face appeased and welcomed Scorpius as he began to speak.

“I... well... mother left. And papa had these letters... I found them and...I didn’t know who she was... but I thought—” the young boy stammered. “Father always has potions on hand down in his study... I thought that—if I just... he could be happy again,” Scorpius’ voice broke as he started to cry.

Your face crumpled softly, and Draco could see that you yearned to reach out to Scorpius and gather him into your arms but you refrained.

“So, you’re the one who drugged Draco,” You understood his son’s words, not nearly as upset as Draco had been because something else held your attention. “You kept my letters?” You seemed baffled. “All this time?”

Draco scoffed and his face remained stoic, but his cheeks tinged pink, affirming what you had said. And possibly it was the right thing to call you over to deal with this because with calmness and kindness that he never could find, you reprimanded Scorpius.

“Do you understand how dangerous that was?” You scolded. “Potions are not something to be played with or mixed. You could have really hurt your father.”

“I know,” Scorpius cried out, tears falling. “But—he... I thought I could get some answers. Find out who he loved—”

Your eyes met his with wonder and curiosity. There was no escaping that one. Draco wasn’t sure he wanted to avoid it.

“Okay,” Draco pinched the bridge of his nose, his face folded into a pained expression. “We’ll talk about this later young man, now go start your studies.”

“Yes sir,” Scorpius nodded and disappeared into the house.

“Draco don’t be hard on him,” You pleaded, reaching out to him. “He’s just a kid,”

“I know,” Draco sighed, taking your hands. “That’s why I called you. I knew you’d handle it better than I ever could.”

“I’m not his mother, Draco,” You reminded him softly. “I don’t have authority here,”

Draco held his tongue before he really did ask you to be Scorpius’ mother but Merlin he wanted to. And maybe you could see that in his eyes because you looked down, flushing.

“He does seem truly sorry,” You changed the topic quickly before something was confessed after all.

“I think so,” Draco looked to the door from Scorpius had exited. Sighing softly, a hopeless chuckle left his lips. “As livid I am that he got into my stuff, and that I was drugged by a six- year-old, it brought me back to you,”

“I suppose it did,” You smiled. “As long as he promises to keep from your stuff, and to come to talk to you instead of taking matters into his own hands... I don’t see any harm.”

Draco nodded and pulled you into his arms, finding comfort in your solace and steady compassion.

“So...” You drawled, pulling away from him. “You kept my letters?” A mischievous smirk fell upon your face as you raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yes,” He admitted, defeated. “I know, I know. It’s wrong and—” You burst out laughing, causing him to pause.

“I kept yours too,” Beaming at him, you reached up and stroked his cheek. “Granted I didn’t read them until again the day we got caught in the rain...”

Draco chuckled softly and drew you in for a kiss, marveled that you were even standing in front of him.

______________________________

There was a day that Draco did ask me. Another four words that made my heart soar and want to scream from the rooftops that he was truly mine. It had taken some time, make no mistake. It was redefining what it meant to be married and figuring out what it meant to marry for love and not advantage, but we made it. There was love, patience, and a strong foundation.

“Ginny, I can’t do this,” I whispered, tearing my eyes away from the mirror. “I... I’m not a wife... I—”

“Hush,” She ordered and fixed a hair that was out of place. “You’re the perfect one for him,” 

“But... me? Getting married? I can’t.”

“You love him, don’t you?” She tested, and I nodded, not trusting my voice. “And you can’t see a day without him in your future?” I nodded again, fighting back tears.

Ginny’s face softened. “I know,” She took my hand. “It’s a lot and it’s scary sometimes, but you deserve this. You deserve a happily ever after with a man who is willing to do what it takes to give it to you,”

I looked down at the floral lace of my dress, blinking away the moisture in my eyes. 

“Maybe you’re right...” I murmured.

“Of course, I am,” She smiled and picked up my bouquet, offering it to me.

Cannon in D began, and the door opened. My veil hid the water in my eyes and the fear on my face. Fears that faded when I saw him at the end of the aisle. He looked just as nervous as I did. It made me smile. It was so like him to be nervous about this. I almost laughed.

I took Harry’s elbow and inhaled deeply.

“You look beautiful,” He murmured.

“Thank you,” I mumbled back as we made our way down the aisle.

Harry placed my hand into Draco’s, and I felt secure. I felt safe and sure of my future. My eyes darted to Scorpius who I had seen grown up the past couple of years. He waved to me and I giggled before turning back to Draco.

There were tears in his eyes as he beamed down at me, our vows exchanged, and rings placed. 

“Don’t you cry,” I scolded quietly. “Because then I’ll start crying,”

“I’ve waited so long for this day,” He defended. “I’m allowed to cry,”

I laughed as my husband leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, sealing our promise to each other.

.

masterlist

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more like this:

beautifully beastly

together in paris

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[lovinkiri]

Daddy's Home

Izuku Midoriya x Reader

Author's Thoughts: @awilddreamerwrites Inspired me when you you got me thinking about pro!Izuku 🥵🥵🥵

Warning: Smut, oral (receiving), scratching, cursing, etc.

Izuku sighed as he walked through the front door. Working with Bakugou was never easy, but at least they got the job done. If it meant the safety of one person, he'd work with Bakugou any day.

"Izuku?" You called from upstairs. He smiled at the angelic sound of your voice. God, he loved coming home to you.

"Yeah, baby, I'm home!" He made his way upstairs, pulling off his mouth guard. "Where are you?" He asked, peeking his head in the empty bedroom.

"Bathroom! Can you come here?"

He quickly made his way to the bathroom, lightly knocking on the door. He smiled at the sound of your giggle. "You don't have to knock. Even if I was naked, its nothing you haven't seen before."

He walked in. "Well, I just wanted-" The words got caught in his throat as he drank in the sight of you.

There you stood in a black fitted dress that hugged your body in all the right places. It was obviously the kind of dress you'd wear to a nightclub, stopping at your mid thigh. And

"Do you like it? I saw it while I was out grocery shopping today. I thought tonight we could go dancing. I know it's a bit last minute though." You shrugged, looking into the mirror.

Everything you said fell upon deaf ears as Izuku admired the way the dress clung to you. Suddenly, he envied the dress.

Approaching you from behind, he wrapped his arms around you. "Wow.. I.. I'm kinda speechless." He smiled. "You look amazing."

You returned his smile and looked up at him. "Thank you. So, you up for dancing? Or maybe just dinner?"

"Actually.. I was thinking we could have dinner at home tonight. Maybe dancing tomorrow?" He mumbled, kissing your shoulder gently.

You gave a nod. "Of course. Like I said, I know it was last minute. I can make dinner tonight of you want, my friend gave me this new home-made ramen recipe I wanna try."

"I was craving something different if that's okay." He watched you through the mirror.

You turned around to face him and put your hands against his chest. "That's fine. What are you craving?"

Suddenly lifting you by the thighs, he sat you on the counter and chuckled at the squeal you let out. Before you could chastise him, he got on his knees and kissed at your calf.

"You." He mumbled softly, looking up at you. It was only then that you noticed his lust clouded gaze. "I want you. So bad."

You bit your lip as he pressed light kisses up your leg, pushing your dress to your waist. He gave a soft hum at the sight of the deep green lace thong you wore. "My favorite set? You had this planned, huh? Dancing or not, this was what you wanted. Yeah?"

You gave a slow nod. "M-Maybe.. I.. I missed you." You mumbled in embarrassment. Your timid demeanor was so cute, he just wanted to ruin you right then and there.

Then there was a pang of guilt. Izuku hadn't been home too often lately, busy with the mission he'd only completed. He remembered having a glass of champagne with you to celebrate last night, before he turned in early.

And now that the mission was over, all he could think about was you. He couldn’t imagine how you'd felt.

Hooking his fingers around your underwear, he watched as you instantly lifted yourself to help him pull them off. "I'm sorry, baby. Daddy's home now."

It wasn't long until Izuku had his head between your leg, eating you out like a starved man. You leaned back against the mirror and whined, one hand tangled in his messy hair and the other gripping huge counter.

Izuku had pushed your legs up so your feet were on the marble counter, legs spread wide. He would have took you into the bedroom but he couldn't help himself. Your bedroom seemed so far and the bathroom was spacious enough.

"So good, so good.." You whimpered softly, unintentionally tugging his hair. He groaned and pulled you closer, roughly rubbing his tongue against your sensitive clit.

"Zuku, I-I.." Arching your back, you removed your hand from his hair and moved it to grip the other side of the counter.

He allowed you to lift your hips, and watched as you started to grind into his tongue. "Fuck, 'm cumming!" You squealed.

Your body twitched and you closed your eyes, riding out your orgasm against his lips. His half lidded gaze stayed on you, taking in the stunning sight before him.

Once your hips dropped back to the counter, Izuku removed his head slowly. A string of your cum and his saliva connected his lips and your folds before he stood up.

You watched as he stood up and removed his hero suit, exposing his sculpted body and his hard cock. The tip was smeared with white pre, showing much much he'd enjoyed himself while pleasuring you.

Licking his lips clean, he pulled you to the edge if the counter, looking to you for permission first. You gave a nod, and that was all he needed to plunge his cock into you.

Barely giving you time to adjust, he started to rut his hips against yours. Your mouth hung open and you wrapped your legs around his waist. You wanted him closer. You needed him.

Taking notice of your needs, Izuku gripped your hips and leaned in, placing desperate kisses to your lips. You wrapped your arms around his neck and gasped into the kiss as one thrust had you seeing stars.

"F-Fuck.." You breathed out, pressing your head against his. The both of you watched as his cock continued to disappear between your folds.

"Fuck, look at you. Creaming all over my cock, taking it so well. Being Daddy's good girl." He whispered, unable to look away.

You moaned at the praise, blushing at the lewd sounds your body made. Skin smacking against skin, the squelching sound of him pushing his fat cock into you. It all made you dizzy.

Izuku was instead relishing in the feeling of you, your tight walls squeezing him so good. It was almost too much for him and the thought of filling you up was pushing him closer to ecstacy.

"Too sensitive, Daddy, 'm gonna cum again.." You slurred, whining loudly.

He lifted you from the counter and your legs tightened around him. With his strength, it wasn't hard for Izuku to bounce you on his cock.

You dug your nails into his back and moaned out as you came for the second time. The overstimulation made you want to pull away, but with the way he held you there was nowhere to go.

You squirmed in his hold and raked your nails up his back. Izuku barely noticed the stinging sensation, trying to chase his own orgasm.

"Gonna fill you up, make you so full with my cum." He groaned, closing his eyes. You gave a quick nod. "Please, Daddy, need it so bad.."

Soon, his hips were jerking up into yours, cumming as deeply as he could. "F-uck.." His voice broke as you cunt milked him for all he had.

As he came to a stop, you laid your head against his shoulder. He kissed the side of your head lovingly. "You're so perfect.." He mumbled softly.

[baepsaesbae]

Eclipse

Pairing— Day Fairy!Hoseok x Night fairy!reader    

Genre— SMUT, fae au, angst, idiots to lovers

Warnings— Oral (F receiving), nipple play, explicit unprotected sex, hair pulling, both praise and slight derogatory dirty talk bc I can’t make up my mind, slight swearing

Word Count— 3.3k  

Summary— The summer solstice is here and it’s time to celebrate. Your favorite part of the solstice is that you get to see Hoseok, or rather, the love of your life. It’s too bad you haven’t told him how you really felt, even though it has been centuries. Maybe this year will be different. 

A/N— This fic is part of The Fabled Collab hosted by @joontopia, @kimtaehyunq, and @whipped-for-kpop-fics. Hoseok is my sunshine, so I just had to write about him! Thank you to @s0seo and @taegularities for giving me motivation to write. Lastly, huge shoutout to Eden from @thebiasrekkers​ for making this awesome banner for me! As always, let me know how you guys like the fic! My askbox is always open <3

Fae clans have many holidays and rituals, but solstices are by far the most celebrated. Solstices mark the pivotal event that shifts the seasonal responsibilities between the sun and moon clans. The summer and winter solstice are always the biggest events of the year, with about a week of festivities leading up to the final event. 

Sweat ran down your spine as the sun beat down on you. You’ve been holding up a stupid banner for what felt like an eternity.

“Okay wait, you’re gonna hate me but I think we should put it back to where we originally had it,” Sunghoon said with furrowed brows.

“That’s it. We’ve been doing this all morning. Figure this out yourself,” you angrily threw down the banner and stormed off before Sunghoon had the chance to yell at you.

You ignored the friendly calls from other fae that were setting up decor nearby. It was way past your bedtime. Cranky and drenched in sweat, you were definitely not a happy night fairy. Heading straight to the pond, you derobed and found comfort in the cool waters that  washed away your stress instantly. You gazed up at the blue sky while floating on your back. The day truly was beautiful, you couldn’t deny that. However, nighttime was better in your very much biased opinion. The dark sky littered with countless stars that glittered like diamonds was an unbeatable sight. 

“Hey there sunshine!” a familiar voice interrupted your thoughts. You dipped back into the water and turned to the source of the sound.

“Hey there, perv. Care to join me?” you beckoned.

“I wish I could, but I need to go finalize some plans for the handoff ceremony--”

“It’s the same EVERY year. C’mon Hobi, you don’t need to go,” you whined.

“I’ll meet you back here at sunset, how does that sound?” he tried to appease you.

“Midnight. I’m already exhausted, I don’t wanna wake up early,” you blew raspberries into the pond.

“That’s fair. I’ll see you then okay?” Hoseok waved before flying off.

On top of parties filled with indulgences that would blow the mind of any feeble human, Hoseok was the added bonus that made you eager for each solstice. Admittedly, you two have had some sort of flirtationship going on for the past few centuries. Your friends always teased you about how madly head over heels you were for him. As much as you wanted to believe that he loved you in the same way, something always felt off.  

Hoseok always reciprocated your flirtatious advances, but it felt more like a game between friends rather than something substantial. You’ve even observed his interactions with other fairies, and it didn’t seem like he gave you any special treatment. He was simply a good friendly guy that everyone loved, but not the way that you loved him. 

You were dying to know how he truly felt about you. All these years of playful banter had been fun, but they had also been simultaneously eating away at you. There’s no way he doesn’t know that you love him. At the same time, what if he thinks you’re just a good friend? You needed to know for sure, and you intended to confront him about it at midnight.

“Good evening,” you greeted Hoseok shyly as you approached the pond’s bank. 

“Good day to you sunshine,” Hoseok called back as he kicked at the water.

“How’d the meeting go?” you asked.

“Boring as always. You’re right, it’s the same every year. But the elders still want to go over everything again to ensure that the ceremony is perfect,” Hoseok sighed.

“Thanks for coming to hangout with me even though you’re so busy,” you said, suddenly feeling guilty.

“Are you kidding? I’ve been looking forward to this all day! You’re the perfect person to unwind with after a long day,” Hoseok smiled. There it was. The radiant smile you fell for the first time you ever met him. 

“You sure I’m the perfect person for that? What do you do when you’re back in your own land surrounded by other day fae?” you prodded, hoping to steer the conversation onto the ‘what are we’ topic. 

“I have my friends there for sure, and I appreciate them too. But it’s different with you. Maybe because I can only hangout with you twice a year. You’re like my super special friend, yaknow?” Hoseok tried to explain. 

“Uh yeah, for sure. Like a special playdate kind of thing huh?” you tried to hide your hurt feelings.

“Exactly! You get it. It’s like you’re my favorite dessert that I can only have twice a year,” Hoseok nodded.

“Right…” you whispered softly to yourself. You spent the rest of the night listening to the unfruitful discussions Hoseok had during his meetings. All the excitement over the festival had drained from you. Now, you just wanted it to be over so you can go sulk in peace. 

“You’re awfully quiet,” Hoseok observed, “You haven’t interjected once about how stupid our traditions are or how you’re looking forward to having long nights again.”

“Hm? Oh yeah, I’m just tired. Sunghoon really worked me to the bone yesterday, that damn day fairy,” you faked a yawn.

“Hey, be nice! Wasn’t it you who volunteered to help us anyway?” Hoseok shook his head.

‘Yeah, because I thought I’d be able to work with you,’ you thought.

“It was a bizarre streak of altruism, that’s all,” you shrugged. 

“Nah, I know you’re a kind fairy deep down!” Hoseok playfully nudged your shoulder. Normally you would welcome this type of physical affection, but for right now it served as a painful reminder that you were merely seen as a buddy. 

You actively avoided Hoseok for the remainder of the week, counting down the hours to when it would finally all be over. You made up some lame excuse to not hangout with Hoseok every time he approached you. He must have caught on by the final day, either that or he was extremely busy. Afterall, he was the MC for the entire ordeal. 

Apparently, your abrasive reputation preceded you because no one wanted your help with anything. As soon as they saw you coming, they would randomly find themselves very preoccupied with something that made them too busy to talk to you. The only person who would put you to work was Sunghoon, who was one of Hoseok’s best friends. You wondered why he was always so nice to you even when you complained the entire time you helped him.

“That’s the last table! They all look great, thanks for helping with the set up,” Sunghoon gave you a thumbs up.

“You know it’s pointless setting up all these tables. Most of the fairies are just gonna be dancing or fucking all night long, no one is gonna be sitting down,” you said.

“Are you gonna be one of the fairies partying?” Sunghoon inquired.

“Definitely not,” you answered curtly.

“Then I’m happy at least one of these tables will be utilized,” Sunghoon nodded, “Try to enjoy yourself tonight okay?”

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes.

The entire forest seemed to come alive that night. The trees swayed with the enchanting music while cheers of merriment erupted around the party scene. You sat alone at a mushroom table with your third (or was it fourth?) cup of berry wine. You glared at the fairies who had lost themselves to their pleasures, whether it be the wine or the toadstools, or perhaps even both. Fairies who had given into their more lustful urges could be seen on the outskirts of the dance floor, some in the innocent stages of kissing and others entangled full fledged fornication. Scoffing at the obscene orgy, you stumbled off to get another cup of wine. Even though you weren’t really participating, you had to admit that fairies knew how to throw a party. 

“Hey ___, I noticed you’ve been by yourself the whole evening. Want some company?” someone asked behind you as you filled up your mug to the brim. You turned to see two Sunghoons merge to become one hazy Sunghoon in the blink of an eye. 

“F-ffuck off Sunghoon,” you slurred.

“I wanted to thank you for all the hard work you did for this year’s summer solstice,” Sunghoon continued, unfazed by your harshness, “Wanna dance to celebrate?”

“Nope,” you answered as you pushed him aside.

“Yeah she seemed pretty pissed dude,” Sunghoon said while taking a large swig.

“At you or in general?” Hoseok inquired.

“Dunno man, she’s always been like that. However, she seemed more aggravated than usual, which is hard to imagine,” Sunghoon chuckled, “Did you do something to her?”

“No! I’ve been replaying everything we talked about at the pond but everything seemed fine! I even told her that she was my super special friend and---oh shit,” Hoseok’s face fell.

“Idiot,” Sunghoon tsked. 

Both fae clans had gathered by the main stage, intently listening to the same speeches that the clan leaders have spoken for centuries. You watched apathetically as the everlasting flame was being formally handed over. The crowd roared as the flame changed from a deep crimson red to an icy silver color with a blue hue, signifying that the solstice had come to pass. 

If the festival wasn’t wild before, it had only gotten more out of hand after the official ceremony. Seeing the other fairies go wild in every sense of the word made you nauseous. The noise level intensified as you watched your fairy brethren engage in rather promiscuous activities. Someone even beckoned for you to join in the fun, but you just walked away. The only person you wanted to have that kind of fun with was Hoseok. It infuriated you that your thoughts always drifted to him. You filled up your cup one last time and walked away from the ruckus, towards an empty grove. Hopefully you would be able to wallow in self pity in peace there. 

The stars twinkled above you, and dim moonlight speckled the ground around you as it shone through the trees. You could still hear the party, but it was much fainter now and served as nice background noise to keep you from drowning in your thoughts. With a deep exhale, you fought to hold back tears. You felt so foolish. Too many years have been wasted in vain for an unrequited love that you should have seen coming. It was so stupid of you to hold onto a sliver of hope that Hoseok would like you back. 

“The party is that way,” a familiar voice called out to you.

“Then why aren’t you there?” you didn’t try to mask the annoyance in your voice.

“I saw you walk away, I wanted to check up on you.”

“Why the fuck would you even care?” you sat up and hissed.

“Why are you being so hostile? You’re the one who has been avoiding me all week!” Hoseok raised his voice.

“I’m sure you didn’t have much time to spend with me anyway,” you huffed.

“That’s not true. I spent every moment of my free time looking for you, only for you to turn me away. Can you tell me what’s wrong?” Hoseok calmed down.

“Fine. I’m in love with you, okay? How fucking embarrassing. It hurt when you said that I was your super best friend or whatever. Seeing you afterward just reminded me of how dumb I am,” you couldn’t make eye contact with him.

“Oh sunshine, I’m the idiot. I shouldn’t have said that. You’re my special friend because I like you too. I wanted to spend every second with you this week. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that, I’m so sorry ____,” Hoseok got down on his knees and pulled you in for a hug. You were stunned.

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner then!” you pushed him off.

“I thought it was obvious from the way we flirted!” he argued. 

“You’re nice to everyone, it was hard for me to tell,” you pouted.

“My apologies for not being a sourpuss like you,” Hoseok laughed.

“So...what now? It wasn’t really a romantic confession but I guess our feelings are out in the open now,” you whispered as you leaned against him.

Suddenly, Hoseok pushed you back to the ground, straddling your hips. His dark hair nearly covered his eyes as he looked down at you. He was beyond beautiful, his white iridescent wings glittered ethereally in the moonlight. 

“Remember when I said you’re like a dessert I can only have twice a year? I’d like to make that a reality,” Hobi smirked. He bent over to kiss you. It was soft at first, his plush lips pressing up against yours. He gently cupped your face with one hand while the other wandered to your chest, undoing your blouse. Lust overtook the both of you as the kiss deepened and Hoseok fondled your breasts. You let out a small gasp as he played with your nipples, rolling them between his fingers.  

“Spread those legs for me, sunshine,” he demanded.

You complied, slowly exposing yourself to him. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him while in such a compromising position. Hoseok gingerly kissed a trail along your inner thighs towards your core. His hot breath against your pussy made you squirm under him in anticipation.

“So impatient,” he chuckled, “Let’s play a game. You have to make eye contact with me while I eat you out. Every time you look away, I stop.”

“You’re evil,” you huffed before reluctantly looking at the beautiful being perched between your legs. 

“That’s my girl,” he purred approvingly before spreading your folds with his fingers. His eyes darkened with lust as you watched him lick tantalizingly slow stripes. He could feel your need for more, so he moved up to focus on your clit, giving it special attention as his tongue swirled around it. 

You tangled your fingers into his hair, gripping him tighter as he licked your clit faster. All your composure was lost as you looked down at him with pleading eyes.

“What is it? Need more?” Hoseok teased as his fingers traced your entrance.

“Please,” you whimpered.

“Please what?” Hoseok feigned ignorance

“Please touch me,” you said softly.

“We need to work on your begging, but you’re so adorable I can’t say no,” Hobi dove back into stimulating your clit as he slipped a finger inside of you. He smirked at how easily he went in, and immediately added a second finger. The new feeling had you throwing your head back as he grazed your g-spot. Right as things began to feel good, he retracted everything.

“Hobi!” you cried out in frustration.

“You looked away. Remember the rules to our little game?” Hoseok chided. You glared down at him as he immediately picked up where he left off, not giving you time to readjust. Fighting back the urge to close your eyes, soft moans escaped from your lips.

“Ready to cum, my dear ___?” he asked sweetly as his fingers dipped to directly attack your g-spot.

There was no time to give a proper response. Your back arched and your toes curled up as your orgasm overwhelmed you. Drenched in your juices, Hoseok glistened under the moonlight.

“Absolutely gorgeous,” Hoseok praised, “But I’m not finished with you yet,” he leaned in to whisper in your ear.

He unbuckled his trousers, releasing the monster that dangled between his legs. You willingly spread your legs for him, eager for more.

“So needy, you haven’t had enough yet?” Hoseok tsked as he rubbed the tip of his cock along your folds.

Finally, Hoseok began to bury himself into you. He took his time, relishing how your warm walls squeezed him. You closed your eyes in ecstasy, focusing on feeling every inch of him. Once he bottomed out, you wrapped your legs around him in an attempt to bring him impossibly closer. The dark lust that swam in his eyes broke for a second, replaced by the warm smile that made you fall in love with him in the first place. He bent down to kiss you, and you happily reciprocated. 

Hoseok moved his hips slowly as he fucked you at a deep yet gentle pace. Mouths still colliding, you shyly licked at his lips. Taking your hint, Hoseok’s tongue met yours. As the kisses deepened with more saliva being interchanged, Hoseok’s thrusts became harsher.    

“You’re so fucking sexy. Lemme see that ass baby,” Hoseok growled as he flipped you over.

He smacked your ass twice and watched it jiggle in awe before placing a firm grip on your hips. Almost animalistically, he bucked into you. Your body jolted forward with each thrust. You had never been fucked this hard before, and it was heavenly. Hoseok’s control over his body movement was insane. Your moans grew louder as his hips continuously rolled into you. 

One of Hoseok’s hands formed a tight grip on your hair, roughly bringing your head up off the ground. You couldn’t stop your wanton moans from filling the open air. 

“H-Hoseok,” you cried out.

“What is it? Is it too much for you?” Hoseok cooed in your ear as he brought your head back even closer to him.

“Mmm-no,” was all you could make out.

“I knew you could take it all, such a good slut,” Hoseok praised as he let go of your hair.

Unable to hold yourself up, you immediately fell back onto your chest. Your fingernails dug into the dirt as you could feel another orgasm swelling up inside of you. 

“I’m gonna cum again,” you wailed out.

“I’m almost there, wait for me baby,” Hoseok instructed.

With perfect timing, Hoseok let out a guttural moan as he spilled his seed inside of you. Sounds of pleasure bounced around the grove as you came in unison. Hoseok’s cum dripped down the sides of your inner thighs when he pulled out. 

“How did I do, sunshine?” Hoseok asked jovially as you laid on the ground before him.

“You knocked me out. I don’t think I can move for a while,” you weakly answered with a smile.

“Not a problem, we can just stay here for a while, sunshine,” Hoseok laid down beside you, beckoning for you to rest atop his chest. 

“I like when you call me that,” you yawned.

“Sunshine?” Hoseok asked.

“Yeah, that. It makes me feel special,” you nodded.

“Is that so? I’m glad it makes you feel special, because you are. You’ve always been the spunky night fairy that everyone knows but is too afraid to approach,” Hoseok laughed.

“What! I am totally friendly! Just not to those who piss me off,” you defended, “Which...I guess is a lot of people so I suppose I see your point. What made you want to be my friend if everyone thought I’m scary?”

“You treated me like everyone else. It always felt like people put on a fake facade around me since I’m the chief’s son. They’re nice to me to try and curry favor with my father, or maybe flirt with me to try and gain some special sort of status. I don’t know. I’m just me,” Hoseok shrugged. 

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re my sunshine,” you hugged him.

“That makes me feel great. I’ll do my best to see you more than twice a year, okay?” he kissed your forehead.

“I guess I can clear my schedule and come over to visit you too,” you giggled, “Or maybe we can run away and make a clan of our own.”

“Are you serious?” he asked, “Don’t tempt me. I’d love to go somewhere where no one knows my name or expects anything from me.”

“How about we go to where the day meets the night?” you offered.

“Like what? An eclipse?” Hoseok said as he gazed into the night sky.

“Precisely. We can make an eclipse clan. We only have to do festivals for eclipses, and those are kinda rare,” you giggled.

“Sounds like a good dream, sunshine. Let’s seriously discuss it in the morning when we’re both more sober,” Hoseok kissed your forehead.

“Goodnight, my sunshine,” you whispered into his chest.

Published July 23, 2021. No editing, copying, translating, or reposting allowed. All Rights Reserved © 2021 Baepsaesbae.

[marveldc-imagines-hub]

Imagine Coming Out to Steve as Bisexual:

A/N: Here’s (hopefully) the first installment of a sort-of series that I like to call the Imagine Pride Series. I don’t know how many I’ll get done this Pride Month since I’m starting it sort of in the middle of the month but if people end up liking it and I get enough ideas/requests for it, I’ll continue it and maybe it’ll become an annual thing until I’ve done a billion characters or get bored of it, lol. Anyway, this first one ended up being very personal for me, which I definitely didn’t intend, but... yeah, lol. Also, this series will be filled to the brim with my personal LGBTQ+ headcanons for Marvel characters, so if that’s not your thing, steer clear. Anyway, enjoy!

Word count: 2,477

Warnings: Coming out anxiety. Use of the Q-slur (reclaiming) and one F-bomb.

Masterlist

Ko-Fi Shoppe

~~~

    You were in your bedroom getting prepared for lounge time before bed—and psyching yourself up—when you thought you heard the front door open through your apartment’s paper-thin walls. You grabbed your phone and turned down the music playing from your Bluetooth speaker; the current song was Janelle Monáe’s “I Like That”, from the Queer Confidence playlist that you’d built for this specific event. Taking a deep breath and giving yourself one more good look in the mirror attached to your closet door, eyeing the to-go bag you had packed with essentials and left ready to grab on the bed, you listened to the jingle of keys as they were dropped onto the table by the door. The sound was quickly followed by a voice.

    “[Y/N]?” Steve half-hollered, and you heard the sounds of movement as he made his way to the hall. His voice got softer as he got closer. “Baby?”

    You gave yourself a shake and patted your face with your hands before answering. “Bedroom!”

    Even though the two of you had been living together for well over a year, he still knocked and waited politely outside until you gave him explicit permission to enter. When he did, he immediately gravitated towards you. He casually looked over you, in your pajama pants and baggy cropped sweatshirt, as he strolled over, and seeing the slightest furrow of his brows made your stomach churn. Steve Rogers wasn’t too bad at reading people but he was always able to read you like a book and you immediately knew that he noticed how tense you were.

    Apparently, he also noticed that you were trying to keep your cool and act normal because he didn’t immediately jump into Worried Eyebrows Rogers. Instead, he decided to give you some time to sort yourself out and opted to simply hug you from behind. Nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck, his warm breath gave you goosebumps as he mumbled a soft, “Hi.”

    You almost forgot about your plan as you melted back into his arms. “Hi,” you replied just as softly as you leaned your head to rest on top of his. You allowed yourself to close your eyes and place your hands on his, slowly run your hands up and down his forearms; you tried to take everything in just in case this was the last time you would be held by him. The solidness of the chest you leaned against, the sturdiness of his footing even as you put your full weight against him because, in reality, your body weight was like carrying a loaf of bread to the super-soldier. The curve of veins and muscle across his arms, the dampness of his hair under your cheek that was probably caused by his evening run despite the rain happening at the time. The faded smell of the 2-in-1 shampoo-conditioner that Steve used despite your complaining, the much warmer body heat than any normal person that was like being wrapped in a heated blanket during the wintertime but being suffocated in a sauna during the summer, that currently bled into you and wrapped you into a comforting cocoon.

    You weren’t sure how long the two of you had been standing like that in silence but it was long enough for Steve to decide that it was Worried Eyebrows time. He slowly raised his head again and when you opened your eyes again, he was watching you carefully in the mirror. He wore a dark navy T-shirt that was just tight enough to outline the muscular form underneath—with the help of Thor and Asgardian booze early on in your relationship, you’d gotten a blushing and giggly drunk Steve to admit that he purposely wore clothes like it because he enjoyed the attention, just a smidge—and a pair of black joggers that you got him for Christmas a few months ago.

    “Are you okay?” Worried Rogers finally asked when he realized you weren’t going to speak first. He kept eye contact with you via the mirror, which almost hurt to hold on your end, as he pressed a light kiss against your temple and then a second one to your cheek. “You called me home early. Said it was something that couldn’t wait?”

    And now I don’t want to say it at all, you thought as you tugged your bottom lip between your teeth. After hesitating for a bit longer—a few seconds or a half-hour, you couldn’t tell through your anxious haze—you sighed and said, “We need to talk.”

    “What, it’s not like you’re leaving me or something, are you?” Steve questioned. The quirk of his brows and a brief smile that appeared told you that he was joking but when you didn’t even chuckle or tease him back, that smile quickly reversed into a frown. “That’s not what’s happening here, is it?”

    “Well…” you mumbled, then trailed off. You glanced towards the bed, where your emergency-leave bag sat waiting, and when you looked back at Steve’s reflection, he was staring at the bag with worry lines etched deep into his skin. “That’s up to you.”

    “Hold on.” Steve moved from behind to stand in front of you, although it was only briefly as he took your hands tightly in his and led you to sit on the edge of the bed with him. He glanced at the bag again, the lines on his face grew deeper again, and you were suddenly reminded of his true age. He looked you in the eye again. “[Y/N], talk to me.”

    “Ours” by Taylor Swift played quietly in the background as you tried to untangle your thoughts and make your mouth work again. The song wasn’t a Pride song or by an LGBTQ+ artist but something about it just fit so well. As you tried to recall the speech you’d been practicing all day, then decided to throw it out altogether, Taylor sang, “So don’t you worry your pretty little mind / People throw rocks at things that shine / And life makes love look hard…”

    “Steve, I…” Your tongue seemed to tie itself in a knot whenever you tried to say it. 

    Steve’s worried, borderline scared, look turned soft. The gentle Worried Eyebrows were back and his thumbs caressed the backs of your hands so softly that it felt like he thought you’d shatter at any minute. He pressed another, stronger kiss against your forehead and mumbled, “You know you can tell me anything.”

    Steve was one of the kindest, most welcoming, most understanding people you’ve ever known but there was still something intimidating about telling him. Normally, you couldn’t fathom him reacting poorly to anything that you could have said but now, you couldn’t help remembering the fact that he was a masculine, old-fashioned, soldier—a soldier from the ’40s—who was still the Ideal American Man to a lot of people, especially some rather unsavory people, and to your knowledge, Steve didn’t have any other queer people in his life that were close to him. Maybe he didn’t want any. Maybe he didn’t like them, like many people who idolized him don’t like them. 

    A little spark of anger sparked in the dark void of anxiety that you were feeling. It wasn’t fair that people hated people like you simply for existing and as much as you loved Steve, if he held the same sentiments, you definitely didn’t want to be with him. The spark quickly turned into a raging fire and suddenly you were blurting out what you’d struggled to say all day, all month, ever since you’d discovered yourself.

    “Steve, I’m bi.”

    Steve stared at you for a bit, then blinked. “What?”

    You took a breath and squared your shoulders. It wasn’t any easier to say it a second time, but you managed in what you hoped was a confident voice, “I’m bisexual.”

    Steve blinked again and his head tilted slightly to the side, but otherwise didn’t move much. “Okay.”

    “O… Okay.” You echoed. You felt your cheeks grow warm.

    Slowly, a relieved smile appeared on Steve’s face and you watched as the tension in his entire posture relaxed. “Was that what you wanted to tell me? You wanted to come out as bisexual?”

    Your face grew heated still and you glanced away. You pulled your sweaty hands from Steve’s and wiped them on your pant legs as you stammered, “Y… Yeah, I mean, yes.” You picked at the fraying hem of your shirt for a few moments, then looked back at your boyfriend—to see that he was absolutely glowing. “You don’t care?”

    “No, of course not,” Steve said, only to quickly shake his head and backtrack, “I mean, of course, I do! I care because it’s you and your identity. I just— It’s just not what I was expecting at all.”

    It was your turn to stare at him. Now you just felt a little silly. “What were you expecting?”

    Steve looked past you to the bag sitting on the other side of you and his expression saddened a bit. He took your hand tightly in his own and squeezed them as he looked at you again. “What were you?”

    “Uh…” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze, “Well, I guess… I don’t know…”

    “[Y/N],” Steve said more sternly, “you don’t have to sugarcoat it. I’m a grown man; I can handle it.”

    “A grown man who was America’s Sweetheart in the ‘40s,” you pointed out. “I had a right to be worried.”

    Steve nodded slowly. “No, of course, you did. I understand. You know I’m okay with it, though, right? I’ve made that clear, right? I’m proud of you and I’m grateful that you told me. Glad that you felt safe enough to tell me, even if you were still worried about it. You know that, right?”

    Kesha’s “Raising Hell” played in the background as you scrubbed your eyes with your sweatshirt sleeves, gave Steve a dumb-feeling nod. Of course, you knew Steve wouldn’t care.

    Steve took you in a tight hug as you tried to shake away the tears burning at the corners of your eyes. He ran a hand over your hair and gently rocked the two of back and forth in true, calming, Worried Eyebrows Rogers fashion. After a bit, when he felt you finally relaxing, he murmured against your hair, “I love you, you know? All of you. Because you’re you.”

    You felt your cheeks warm again and you nodded against his chest. “I love you too.”

    The two of you continued to sit like that for a while until Steve suddenly hummed thoughtfully. He slowly released you and you let him go, he sat back on his hands and chewed the inside of his cheek. 

    You watched him curiously as he glanced around the room, thinking. “What?”

    “You know, I…” Now he trailed off, glanced at you before his gaze darted away again and he chewed his cheek again. “I… Now I know this isn’t my information to share but Buck’s always been pretty uncaring about it, I guess.”

    Your brows furrowed. “Buck? Like, Bucky-Buck? Our Bucky.”

    Steve chuckled. “Yeah, our Bucky.”

    “What about Bucky?”

    Steve hesitated again but eventually continued, “I had almost the exact same conversation with him before he left for the war.”

    Your eyes widened. “Wait— Bucky?”

    Steve nodded slowly again and his gaze finally settled on you again. “Bi too. Coincidence, huh? He was lucky, sort of. Says he always knew. Obviously not super open, given the time, but he was never ashamed of it or anything.” He paused and briefly glanced away again before continuing. “I still don’t know.”

    You blinked. “Don’t know what?”

    Steve just stared at you, cheeks tinting pink as he waited for you to put the pieces together.

    “Wait, you’re queer?”

    Steve shook his head quickly. “Or something. But I don’t like that word. Power to anyone who uses it positively but I was around when it wasn’t.”

    “Right,” you said, still dumbfounded, “Sorry. Yeah, I won’t use it for you then. Hang on; you’re not straight then?”

    Steve chewed his lip and gave you the cutest bashful smile that you’d ever seen on such a large man; you could almost see the scrawny, sickly, pre-serum Steve sitting in front of you.

    “I’m offended,” he softly quipped.

    You stared at him a bit longer. Then you burst into laughter. Steve chuckled along with you, watched you with a growing smile as you fell back onto the bed in a giggling fit. Eventually, you calmed down, wiping tears that you weren’t sure were completely from laughing and staring up at the bedroom ceiling. “My gaydar’s fucked, dude.”

    This time Steve laughed and he collapsed back onto the bed with you. Then he grabbed you, wrapping his arms tightly around your back as he rolled over with you so that you were laying on top of him.

    “Well, like I said,” he said, watching you, “I don’t know.”

    “Well, you kind of know, though,” you replied, “right?”

    Steve tilted his head a bit, then nodded. “Kind of.”

    “So… what?”

    “What?”

    You shrugged and grinned. “I don’t know. What are you into? What do you think you are? Like, I uh… I like girls. And guys. And everything in between and outside.”

    “I thought that was pansexual or something?”

    “For some people it is. For some people, bi is only girls and only guys. I tried pan, omni, a few others, but bi was what I always came back to. Bi just… fits.”

    Steve sighed and stared past you at the ceiling again. “See, I just think there’s too much information. I’m too old. Get confused easily.” 

    You snorted and snickered as he flashed a smile at you. “Some people don’t do any of it, you know. Labels and stuff, I mean. They’re just kinda like ‘I like this and all there it is to it.’ No label, just them and love. Couldn’t be me but it works for other people.”

    Steve nodded again and after a minute said, “I just like people.”

    You smiled at him. “Okay.”

    He looked at you. “I really like you.”

    The smile slowly turned into a grin. “Oh yeah?”

    Steve smiled back and held you tighter against him. “I like you a lot.”

    “Well, well, Mr. Rogers—”

    “Captain,” he grumbled under his breath, “but it’s fine.”

    “Captain Rogers,” you corrected as you slinked up to lean over him. You took his face in your hands and leaned so close that your noses bumped together. “I like you a lot too.”

    Steve leaned in the rest of the way to kiss you and you kissed him back. Despite the teasing, the kiss was soft and sweet, and when he pulled away from you, the way he looked at you full of love was just as sweet.

    “Love you,” he said.

    “I love you too.”

[ezrasarm]

Roommates Part 3: KO

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Word count: 2k

Warnings: drunk reader, Santiago is a bad influence, drink responsibly kids! That’s all I think?

A/N: I know it’s been a long wait but the next part is finally here! Thank you for your patience and I hope you enjoy it!

<– previous chapter | Roommates | next chapter –>

Frankie had been gone for a while. He had excused himself to go to the bathroom almost twenty minutes ago and Benny was bound to go on soon. You didn’t want him to miss the fight and get in trouble is what you’d excused the nag in your gut urging you to seek him out as when you were about to go looking for him. You knew he would get an earful if he missed even a second because you were the one in the hot seat last time when you missed a whole fight after being called into work last minute. 

Pope seemed to find you first, shoving a drink in your hand as you peered over his shoulder, expecting Frankie to be close in tow. “You don’t have to sound quite so disappointed you got me instead.” Santiago teased you when you not so subtly asked where he was.

“You know that’s not what I meant.” You assured him with a roll of your eyes, giving him a nudge to the shoulder and a thank you for the drink. But if you were being honest, you’d been with Pope all day and had hardly seen Frankie all week. You were beginning to wonder if something was wrong. “He’s right over there. Ran into an old high school classmate and they’re catching up by the bar.” Santiago said with a directed nod of his head and you followed his line of sight over to where you could see the familiar silhouette, corduroy jacket and baseball cap and all, stooped a little with his arms folded over his chest and talking to some woman you’d never seen before. 

You weren’t sure what the feeling that twisted in your stomach was or why it decided to rear its head right now but you found yourself feeling slightly defensive when you turned back to Santiago with eyebrows raised. For some reason, you hadn’t been expecting a she and you couldn’t tell why that threw you off so much. Frankie could talk to whoever he pleased, it was none of your business but you still found yourself downing just about half your drink in one go to try and drown whatever feeling it was that had begun growing in your belly.

“That was fast.” Santiago remarked, giving you a skeptical look as he glanced between you and the almost empty cup in your hand, “You alright?” He asked.

“Yeah, fine! It’s just been a while since I let loose. Thought I might let myself have some fun tonight.” You shrugged.

He glanced back up in Frankie’s direction and eyed you for a second, taking a moment to consider it, “Can’t argue with that,” he nodded before downing his own drink as though it were a challenge. 

You had lost track of how many beers you and Santiago had snuck behind Will’s back who was too busy to play baby sitter tonight as he usually did. Drinking with him had certainly done its job to distract you. You had almost forgotten all about the fact that your best friend had decided to spend the evening talking to some stranger instead of you. God what had gotten into you? You were not the jealous type and you didn’t like how it felt-

Thud.

You didn’t have time to consider that thought any further before you had run straight into the man of the hour himself on your way back from the bar.

“Shit, sorry- Oh hey!” You exclaimed, having miraculously avoiding throwing your drinks all over both of you with those dumb plastic cups they gave you here.

“Woah, you alright there?” Frankie asks, throwing an arm out to stabilize you. “I swear, I left you alone for ten min- okay an hour and a half and- how many of those have you had?” He asks, noticing the slight wobble to your balance and slur to your speech as you introduced yourself and shook the hand of the woman he had been talking to.

“Uhhh good question,” you ponder for a moment before shrugging “Santi and I found out that if you’re a girl alone at an MMA fight you can get a lot of free drinks so we’ve made it our mission to find out exactly how many.” You explain, shooting a wink and a slight salute over to Pope who was still standing, waiting by your seats.

“And have you gotten an answer yet?” Frankie asks, slightly amused but also positive that he would be making sure this was your last drink of the night when you stumbled slightly over nothing and he had to wrap an arm around you for support.

“It appears there is no limit.” You say proudly, missing the fond look in his eye when he shakes his head with a soft and slightly disbelieving smile.

“Cheryl, this is my uh, roommate.” Frankie says gesturing towards you.

“What, are you embarrassed of me or something’? I’d say we’re a little bit more than that.” You interject. You had meant friends but from the look on her face she appeared to have taken it another way and for some reason or another you felt no need to correct her.

“Oh well uh, it’s nice to meet you.” She says politely although clearly thrown slightly by your quite obvious inebriation. 

“Nice to meet you too, Carol!” You declare happily and you mean it, it’s interesting to see the kinds of people Frankie went to high school with but you really weren’t in much state to be particularly conversational at the moment.

“From Red Feather Lakes, Colorado, standing six foot three, weighing in at a hundred and ninety five pounds, I bring you… Ben Miller!” The announcer blares over the booming speakers, pulling you from your conversation. You and Frankie are quick to give Benny your support, you perhaps a little more enthusiastically in your less inhibited state as he and Will walked into the arena and the crowd roared to life.

“Well we should get back. I’ll never hear the end of it if I miss any of this and I’ve gotta make sure these two don’t get into any more trouble,” Frankie explains, “But it was nice catching up with you.” He says and Carol- Cheryl? One of those- nods.

“Yeah, I hope to see you around again sometime.” She says. She’s hardly turned to walk away before you’re wiggling your eyebrows suggestively at Frankie on your way over to Pope and Will.

“You realize she was hitting on you, right?” You asked when Frankie turned back to you, a teasing smile on your lips despite the rising feeling of inadequacy you felt from having stood within a two-meter radius of the gorgeous woman. 

“What? No! She was just-” Frankie cuts himself off after considering it for a moment. “...huh.” He says, eyebrows rising in slight surprise when he looks over his shoulder at the woman who he had already lost in the throngs of people. “I’m sure she was just being polite.”

“You’re too hard on yourself! She was checking you out!” You exclaim defensively, more for his own self esteem than anything else.

“...Me?” He gives you a skeptical look. 

“Yeah, why not you? You’ve got this sort of je ne ce quoi about you. The ladies dig it.” You say with a goofy grin and Frankie can’t help but burst out laughing. 

“That so? What about you?” He asks. For a millisecond your heart stops in your chest. Could he read your mind? Did he know about the thoughts that had just slipped to the forefront? The jealousy? The little bit of longing? It was the alcohol talking you were sure. You would never want to jeopardize your friendship by allowing yourself to picture him as anything more than that but for a flash of a second it hadn’t seemed like such a bad idea.

“Oh, I dig it too.” You say, nudging him in the gut teasingly. What you didn’t see was the way Frankie’s breath had hitched at the slightest inkling of you expressing interest in him, even if he knew you were just joking around. “I bet if you asked you could get her number.” You say and he’s snapped quite violently out of his trance. 

He didn’t want her number. He wanted you.

“Nah, she’s not really my type.” Is the response he settles for, his attention resettling on the fight in an attempt to drown out the feeling of disappointment he wasn’t sure he knew how to hide. He knew it wasn’t fair on you but the slightest hint of jealousy might have been nice to hear and instead you were giving him a rousing endorsement to go after someone he didn’t even like all that much.

“Are you kidding? Pardon the pun, but she was a knockout!” You exclaim just in time to watch Benny take a rather jarring blow to the jaw.

“Meh,” Frankie shrugs and you can’t help the yelp of surprise that escapes you.

“If she’s ‘meh’ then what am I?” You exclaim and Frankie’s jaw just about hits the ground at the fact that you could even think to ask him such a question. You were just about perfect to him in every way imaginable.

He doesn’t get the chance to tell you when the crowd roars to life as Benny finds himself making a comeback and you’re practically jumping out of your seat to bolster your support for your friend.

“You should go get her number.” You suggest when you sit back down, a little confused as to why. Perhaps you were overcompensating for your wave of jealousy earlier but there was still something in you screaming for you to stop acting like you were so okay with it. Because if the way you had reacted earlier and your current state of inebriation was any inclination, you clearly weren’t, but your mind was in no place to put those pieces together at the moment.

“Why is everyone trying to set me up all of a sudden?” Frankie scoffs playfully trying to shrug off your suggestion. “First Pope, now you,” He stops himself hoping you haven’t realized he’s probably said too much.

“Who was Santiago trying to set you up with?” You ask. Just the question he didn’t want to answer, especially not right now, not like this. He’s quite literally saved by the bell announcing the end of the match and when you look up Benny’s opponent is unconscious in front of him. A KO and you’d both missed it. You wouldn’t be getting out of that one too easily. You’re whisked away in post win festivities before you can even think to get an answer from Frankie.

He thinks you’ve forgotten about the conversation completely until he’s gotten you and Pope both wrangled into the car on your way back to the apartment and you pipe up from where he thought you had passed out the moment he had you strapped in. 

“So what’s Francisco Morales’ type?” you ask groggily, clearly not ready to give him a break yet and he laughs as he peers into the rearview to make sure Pope is still asleep before he even considers giving you an answer. 

“What makes you think I have a type?” He counters fruitlessly in hopes that he can at least attempt finding a suitable answer.

“Well you said Carol-”

“Cheryl-”

“-wasn’t your type so I’m assuming that means you have a type.” You prod him, your eyes still shut as you leaned back in the passenger seat.

“Well… I’d say my type would be someone who is smart, funny, supportive, all those wonderful things,” He explains, feeling a little more at ease when he looks over to see your breaths have shallowed slightly and your head has lulled against the window. “Has a good sense of humour, makes me smile, is fiercely loyal to her friends,” he goes on, “can be a complete dork if she wants to be, has no idea how beautiful she is,” he adds “and has me completely and utterly wrapped around her finger.” He mutters to himself when he looks back up at the road with a sigh.

<– previous chapter | Roommates | next chapter –>

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[lmaoeraserhead]

pairing : stripper!Ushijima x reader

wc: 2.5k

a/n : this is based off of a random thought i had a couple of days ago. It’s so past my bed time right now, this is completely unedited and its most likely awful, but please please please enjoy!

warnings: SMUT 18+, pet names, one (1) pussy slap, mean Ushi, sex work??? idk lemme know if i missed anything please

You hear the opening of Old Town Road from the booth you and some of your closest friends rented for the night. Never in a million years had you imagined you’d be spending your night in a sketchy ass club, and you definitely hadn’t expected the country (if you could even call it that) song from the booming speakers.

“Ladies and gentlemen! Please welcome our star performer, Ace, to the stage.” The clear voice rings loud enough to push through your hazy thoughts. Despite having tons of fun with your friends (and one too many drinks), you were tired and just about ready to call it a night. 

The lights suddenly took a dive, and you were left in the dark with your vodka cranberry. Excited squeals can be heard from other people around you. The song started slowly, definitely edited, the bass making the ice cubes in your drink dance with the beat. You could feel the vibration deep in your bones, and it sent a pleasant shiver up your spine. 

As slowly as the lights had plunged dark, they sure took their damn time brightening back up. Squinting from your seat, you could hardly see anything on stage through the red haze of the lights and fog machine. You didn’t know why, but the anticipation had your toes curling in your platforms. The achingly slow buildup pushed you forward in your seat and sent your legs moving to get closer to the main stage. You weaved your way through the packed crowd alone, ducking under and around stray limbs that got in your way. 

The guitar of Old Town Road picks up, and it strikes you odd how sensual the usually goofy song sounds. Of course, you’re in a strip club and you should have at least expected some unconventional set lists. Your friends call out your name from the dark corner they’re sitting in, but you’re mesmerized by someone you can’t even see yet, so you don’t even turn to acknowledge their calls. 

Taking a big gulp from your drink and stealing one of the few empty chairs left lining the stage, the hair on the back of your neck raises when the spotlight finally focuses on the figure that is in the center of your vision. His routine hasn’t even started, and he already has the whole club enthralled. Ace was his stage name, but you wonder what his real name could be. Although, Ace seemed to fit him well enough. He’s built like an executioner, ready to deliver the last blow. 

He’s huge, well over 6 feet tall. His rippling muscle that’s somehow already sweaty and glistening, bulges with every one of his subtle movements. You can’t see his face, which is tilted down underneath a wide-brimmed cowboy hat, but you can only imagine how attractive he is from his build alone. He’s shirtless, wearing jeans, a huge rodeo buckle, and boots with spurs. 

His left hand comes up to lift the brim of his white wicker hat, slowly revealing his smoldering hooded eyes. He is the center of attention, and he’s enjoying it. The hundreds of chattering mouths fall quiet as the beat picks up, along with his very anticipated dancing. His hips move with practiced ease, back and forth, stretching the taut muscles of his stomach. Your eyes find the thatch of hair below his bellybutton, and follow it’s trail, huffing under your breath with dissapointment when you end up at the heavy-looking belt buckle he’s wearing. 

Your mouth suddenly feels dry, you lick your lips and take a sip of your slightly watered-down drink. Your teeth catch your bottom lip when you look back up from your lukewarm vodka to find warm chocolate eyes level with yours, among other things. Sucking in a deep breath, you watch as his body, now perpendicular to the worn wooden stage, as it grinds to the beat. 

His eyes never leave yours as he dances to what is now becoming one of your favorite songs. His fist meets the ground, simultaneously paired with a thrust of his hips. He turns his head to the side, giving you a glimpse of the strong column of his neck. One particularly smooth move of his has your thighs clenching together. 

Not once in your whole life had you ever thought you’d be jealous of a floor, but the way Ace was practically fucking himself against it had you squirming in your seat. The clank of his belt buckle against the hardwood had you imagining his sweaty body above yours, you could practically feel the strong build of his shoulders underneath your fingernails. You could feel the way he’d thrust into you, leaving you a whimpering mess. 

Ace makes his way uprights again, slowly, teasingly. He smirks at you, and only you. His gaze is heavy and his expression sends a swooping feeling through your stomach. The song finally comes to an end, with Ace kneeling down in front of you. His thick index finger is under your jaw, closing your mouth and tilting your head up. You’re both breathless, for two completely different reasons. He places his hat on your head, bends down, and whispers in your ear, “Find me backstage.”

Before he backs away, he pulls your earlobe in between his teeth and growls lowly. Your wide eyes and stunned expression make a chuckle rumble from his bare chest. You nod slowly, because what else were you supposed to do?

------------------------------

“You liked the show, huh?” Before you could respond, you were pulled against Ace’s sweaty chest. Backstage was a mess of show runners, other performers, and wires. But somehow Ace had managed to get his own private dressing room, fully equipped with a couch, closet, and functioning shower. And you had managed to find him with the help of his hat on top of your frizzy hair. 

The alcohol you had consumed earlier helped you melt into his sturdy lap, and lean into him, “I enjoyed it very much, Ace.” You contemplated for a bit, tilting your head, “Interesting song choice, though.” You couldn’t help but squirm on his jean-clad thighs as his hands trailed up and down your sides, catching on the hem of your dress. 

“My name isn’t Ace, little one,” he smiled and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, “It’s Ushijima.” He took his hat off of your head with little ceremony and pushed one of his thumbs past your lips. “And from the state of your sloppy pussy you’re trying so hard to grind on me, I’d say you didn’t mind the song too much,” 

You suck on his thumb like a good little girl and nod frantically. Now that you think about it, you had been subconciously rubbing yourself against the hardening bulge in his pants. “M’can’t help it, i-it hurts so bad.” You slur around his thick digit, and drool drops onto your chin. His performance had turned your silk panties see-through, and you were staring to leave a dark spot on the crotch of Ushijima’s jeans. 

“You’re such a messy little thing, aren’t you.” He pulls his thumb away and smears your spit into your cheek, “I bet you’d do anything to ride my cock, hmmm?” He presses your body even closer to him, his body heat deliciously warm. Being this close to him makes you realize just how enormous he actually is, another thought that leaves your thighs clenching. 

Ushijima’s harsh breaths are mingling with yours, you don’t have space to think, but your body is answering every question he shoots your way, tenfold. He kisses you with the ferocity of a starved man. It’s messy, and when he pulls back, a string of saliva connects you both. His pupils are blown so wide that the hazel of his eyes can hardly be seen. 

You nod your head, “Please.” Looking up through your lashes you see him hesitate for just a moment. “Please! Please Ushijima, fuck me.” You’re whining at this point, you know, but you’re so desperate. 

“Fuck,” he curses under his breath and swipes his sweaty hair from his forehead, “get up, little one. I want you to take off this fucking dress.” He lifts you from his lap with ease and turns you around in front of him. “You’ve been teasing me with this outfit all night. Squeezing those soft thighs together in front of everyone, like a whore.” You whimper, suddenly feeling very exposed, “What? You think I didn’t notice?” He taunts you mercilessly. You’re so wet at this point, you can feel it dripping down the inside of your thighs. 

You lift the hem of your dress over your head and drop it next to you on the floor. You’ve never been extremely shy but the man in front of you makes it nearly impossible not to want to run away from his sharp gaze. The black underwear you had decided to wear for the night were nothing special, and your reluctance to wear a bra had come back to bite you in the ass. You were practically naked in front of Ushijima. 

“Your panties too, little one. I can’t fuck you with those in the way, can I?” A small moan gets caught in the back of your throat as he slips his hands underneath the soft silk covering you. “And here I thought you were gonna be my good little slut.” He tsks and shakes his head disapprovingly. The muscles in his jaw work as he slips a finger through your slippery folds. “You’re… so wet.” He admonishes, still circling your cunt but never where you need him the most. 

“No shit.” You roll your eyes and grip his forearm, trying and failing to get his fingers on your clit. He pulls his hand away and before you realize what’s happening, he slaps you through your underwear. The shock is enough to send you back into his lap, mewling. “F-fuck! What was that for?” You thread your fingers together behind his neck and press your bare chest against his, feeling very impatient. 

Ushijima is finally at his limit, apparently, because he reaches in between your sweat-covered bodies and takes off his belt. You gulp and fumble to help him, but again, you’re stopped by his strong grasp on your wrists. “No,” he’s practically growling, “bad little sluts don’t get to touch as they please. Put your hands back where they were and don’t move.” You do as he says immediately, feeling like you’ve already tested your limits for the night. The button and zipper of his pants come undone with a quiet ‘pop’, and he licks his slightly chapped lips fighting the urge to teach you a lesson right then and there. “You better hold on, little one. I’m gonna have to fuck some manners into you.”

His cock slaps his stomach when he finally gets his pants down and Ushijima breathes a sigh of relief. You choke on the thick air of his dressing room when your eyes finally catch a glimpse of what you had been grinding on earlier. His dick is enormous, very befitting of its owner, but you were regretting your loud-ass mouth right about now. The tip is red and angry, leaking precum against his impressive abs. Ushijima’s hand can barely wrap itself around his impressive member when he strokes himself a few times before hissing out another sigh through his teeth. 

“Don’t worry, baby it’ll fit.” His words did little to reassure you as he lined himself up with your slick entrance. Your position gave you some small amount of control, although you knew Ushijima had his large hands on your waist for a reason. “Take what you can, for now.” His soft eyes met yours for a moment as he rubbed circles into your back, his harsh words gone for a moment. 

You lowered yourself onto his length slowly, using his shoulders as leverage. Ushijima filled you like no one had ever managed before, and when you thought you had seated yourself completely, there always seemed to be another inch. Mouth open and eyes wide, you were babbling incoherently, the delicious stretch of his cock left you drooling and dumb. 

To help you, Ushijima finally gave your neglected bud the attention you had been seeking all night. The small amount of friction he allows sends you spasming around his length. Between moans and whines, Ushijima could hear curses and little cries of ‘thank you, Ushi’, he smiles, thinking it’s completely precious how quickly you managed to fuck yourself stupid. 

“That’s it little one, just like that. That’s a good fucking girl. Take what you need from my cock,” He smirks and brings your face close to his own, gripping your cheeks tight, “Before I ruin every other man for you.” He kisses you on the forehead, almost condescendingly, before grappling your hips again and thrusting up into your messy cunt. 

His thrusts are brutal, his sweet demeanor gone now that he’s chasing his own release, using you as nothing but his own personal fucktoy. His grunts get louder and the muscles in his defined stomach grow taught the closer he gets to his orgasm. Ushijima’s strength is impressive, it has to be with the way you’ve gone limp in his lap, shaking from the over stimulation. 

“P-please cum Ushijima.” You hiccup around the syllables of his name and scratch at his upper-back. You’re jostled with every powerful thrust he gives you, too tired to meet them. All you can do is take the pleasure he gives you. 

Moaning a long string of curses, Ushijima’s movements become more erratic and his cock swells impossibly further, “Where do you want my cum little one?” His teeth catch his bottom lip and he continues to hump into you frantically.

You whimper as you feel the heat in your belly starting to spread, “I-inside! Want you t-to fill me up Ushi.” The pleasure building up inside you finally snaps when you feel Ushijima’s warm cum coat your insides. He keeps thrusting into you shallowly, almost unconsciously, as you both ride out your orgasms. 

After a few beats of heavy breathing and muffled club music, Ushijima clears his throat, “Hey, uh, are you alright?” His hands are rubbing soothing circles into your thighs, which are shaking horribly. 

You lift your head up from his neck and blink dazedly a few times before smiling, “Never been better, big guy.” You truly are dick drunk, “But I could use some help getting to the bathroom.” You brush a few stray hairs from Ushijima’s forehead and laugh when he picks you up bridal style, carrying you like you asked. 

“I can do that, little one.” He smiles back at you, “If you don’t mind can I, uh. Fuck this sounds awful.” He laughs awkwardly, “Can I get your name, maybe?”

You blink back at the man holding you naked against his chest. “It’s Y/n.” You tell him with a small smile.

[kai-uh-arcadian]

hi love!

can u write a hitch imagine where she and f!reader get high and go to a party and the reader and hitch separate, like the reader goes to play beer pong with connie sasha and jean while hitch goes to historia and annie to dance and reader watches her dance and pulls hitch with her to the bathroom and they fuck?

Hi my darling!!! I hope this encapsulated what you’re imagining!!

Full Disclosure: I do not know how to write smut nor have I ever attempted SOOOOO if anyone would like to expand on this with smut PLEASE GO AHEAD!!! The ending is open ended for smut but if you’re not into that it still makes perfect sense as is,

I apologize I couldn’t execute the entire ask but I hope you still enjoy! (:

DRUNK CONFESSIONS Hitch x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k

CW: Mentions of drug use (weed, alcohol), being drunk/high, minor cussing

——————————————————————

- “I’m here” you texted Hitch as you pulled into her driveway

- Your phone lit up and read “sorry I CANNOT come anymore, my fish is really sad rn😪😪😪”

- Two things:

- One: Hitch is already outside waiting for you with her backpack (filled with her overnight stuff)

- Two: she doesn’t even fucking have a fish?😾😾😾😾

- She gets into your car to which you greet her with “ah hi Bitch… I mean Hitch! DaMN I thought your fish was in distress?

- “Well be glad “Bitch” is here because she’s the one giving you free weed dumbass” she remarks while (sort of gently) punching your arm

- “Ooo, do I get the hot girl discount?” You smirk at her

- “Shut the fuck up!” She says sarcastically and starts to blush “just drive already” she shifts her knees toward the passenger door

- You got babygirl flustered😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

- You begin your car ride to Sasha’s house

- The Blouse’s were on a 3-day vacation to who-knows-where, all we knew is that Sasha was having a lowkey get together

- The guest list consisted of Eren, Armin, Jean, Marco, Historia, Marlo, Ymir, Annie, Mikasa, Connie, Mina, Reiner, and Bertholt

- You arrived in the Blouse driveway and Hitch begins to pull out grape swisher pack container a blunt

- “Ahhhh~ look at this pearl I rolled!!” She holds it up in awe then shortly begins to light it

- You’re lucky your cars interiors is all leather and you have until tomorrow to air it out

- (You never smoke in your car nor let anyone smoke in your car but Hitch is the only exception cause she’s cute)

- You both share the blunt that is apparently “this amazing strain called Sour Diesel she got from her dealer for free because she made out with him”

- After about what seems like 2 hours (it was actually about 15 minutes) you both are pretty fckn stoned and decide to head in

- You let the group chat know you and trouble arrive and head for the door

- “Mikasa!” You exclaim and hug her as she opens the door

- “What did you say? It’s too loud in here…” she deadpans

- 🦗🦗🦗🦗

- “Huh? There’s no music playing tho…..😅” you reply

- Mikasa sees the gears working in you and Hitch’s head as you’re trying to process the “joke” she just said

- To give you a hint, she sniffs the air

- 👃🏼👃🏼👃🏼

- “OHHHHHHHH!!!!” You and Hitch say in unison after realizing she was insinuating you REEKED of weed

- “Dumb and dumber arrived!!” Mikasa announces to the gang

- You and Hitch head to the guest bedroom upstairs to drop of your overnight bags

- You both return to the basement only for you to be pulled to one half to play pong and Hitch to the other to go take shots with Annie

- Before the game starts Connie tells “YOOO let’s see who can shotgun the fastest!!”

- Why would you ever turn that down????😩 free beer

- You, Jean, Connie, and Sasha all puncture your cans and begin to go

- Ofc you win🥸🥸🥸 You’re a natural

- “That’s not fair!! I started later, I didn’t know we were supposed to go on “1”!!??” Sasha exclaims, declaring a rematch to which you all oblige

- “3, 2, 1” Mikasa counts down for you guys

- One rematch turned into 2 more 😵‍💫😵‍💫

- Now you’re 4 beers in and the night is barely starting

- the night continues on and pong has turned into a game of “Whichever team loses has to shotgun”

- Lemme tell you, Jean is DEAD WEIGHT

- bitch got no aim???👿

- Sasha and Connie are absolutely obliterating You and Jean so at this point it’s safe to say you’re about 9, Natty Ice’s in and about 3 shots that Hitch kept handing you in

- Speaking of Hitch….

- Where the fuck is she??

- Your dizzy eyes begin to scan the basement— she can only be in so many places down here

- as you’re getting distracted, Sasha and Connie decide to leave the pong table to do God knows what and Jean runs after them

- You decide it’s best to ignore whatever the fuck kind of trouble they’re getting themselves into

- That’s when you see it

- Historia, Mikasa (?!?!?!!), Annie (?!?!?!?), and Hitch making a Tik Tok

- For reference it’s this dance

- You can Ymir practically drooling over Historia and then yelling at Reiner for doing the same

- Marlo is drooling at Hitch

- The sight of Marlo alone ignited a fire of pure rage inside of you

- everyone, including Hitch, knows that he blatantly pines over her… some people even think they’d look cute together but who knows what Hitch thinks??? Does she like him back?

- ahhh~ your head is crowded with so many thoughts right now and decide to silence them with a disgusting shot of Pink Whitney left by your side from Hitch

- is this JEALOUSY????

- your throat and the pit of your stomach burns as the shot goes down but not as hot as the left side of your chest at the sight you’re seeing right now

- You find Historia, Mikasa and Annie VERY attractive bUT you cannot take your eyes off of Hitch

- It’s rude to stare but goddamn, she’s in a white tennis skirt that when she moves JUST enough you can see part of her bare ass

- (Go touch grass later)

- 1 of the 4 girls take turns (unintentionally) messing up causing them to retake the Tik Tok

- You are NOT complaining tho👀👀👀

- They FINALLY get the dance down

- Hitch comes over and stands in between your legs that are dangling off the table you’re sitting on and wraps her arms around your waist

- Marlo shoots you a look and you were about to say something to him but Hitch guides your chin back with her finger so you were looking at her again👿👿👿

- “Soooo~ what’d you think?” She slurs getting closer to your face with a mischievous look in her eyes

- If looks could kill, Marlo would have your head right about now

- MISS GIRL I COULD GET DRUNK IF YOUR BREATH😷😷😷

- “Huh? About what” you play dumb hoping she didn’t notice you blatantly staring

- “Sweetie you would’ve caught flies if you kept your mouth open any longer” she says right in your ear causing you to get goosebumps

- So she definitely noticed you staring

- And played into it😐😐😐

- You took the bait and she won this round

- She nuzzles her head into your chest and oh my god her scent intoxicates you

- A mix of vodka, a bit of sweat (naturally,,,, bitch just got done dancing her life away), strawberry herbal essence shampoo, and a shit ton of Victoria’s Secret bombshell perfume(or Tease, I can’t decide)

- “I have to pee~~ can you come with” she says grabbing your hand without waiting for your answer

- What’s up with drunk girls and tag team bathroom breaks

- (On a real note, I’ve been to a handful of parties and my friends always ask me to help them in the bathroom like what am I gonna do? Wipe their ass for them? Cheer them on like YES GIRL GO PISS!!!🥳🥳🥳🥳)

- Anyways

- She pulls you into the bathroom, does her business as you face the wall, washes her hands and youre ABOUT to open the door when pins you against the door slamming it shut

- “You’re an idiot???” she looks up at you with tears brimming at her eyes

- You’re just as drunk/high as she is (if not more??) she CANNOT blame you for not picking up the subtle hints

- You gave her this abhorrently shocked and confused face

- “Hitch wait what why are you crying I’m so sorry what did I do” you begin to ramble in panic

- “What did I do uhh I’m so sorry how can I fix thi—“

- She cuts you off by smashing her lips against yours

- This has to be a dream or just drunk Hitch actions because she is a flirty drunk so you don’t want to get your hopes up

- “That’s how you can fix it~” she hiccups as a tear goes down her face

- “I’ve liked you for a while and I didn’t want to ruin anything so I kept it in for so long but I just can’t anymore” now SHES rambling

- “Just *hic* seeing you everyday, being so close to you and not *hic* being able to do anything about it hurts so bad but I just had to get this out so I’ll leave you alone afte—“

- Now you cut off her rambling with a slightly less aggressive and more passionate kiss

- The smile on her face is the cutest mixture of shocked and pure happiness🥺🥺🥺

- “I want the exact opposite of you leaving me alone, I’ve liked you for so long Hitch” you kiss her forehead and she just happily sobs/giggles like a child into your chest

“Don’t tell Hitch this, but she’s everything I wanted and more” you give her a small chuckle, looking away as your cheeks turn pink

“I won’t say a word idiot” she says kissing the top of your nose

Anyone, Feel free to delete any part of the ending if you’d like to add the smut part of this request!! Hope you enjoyed

- K ( :