#but im trying to find one that will bloom at christmas for me

[guinevereslancelot]

my fancyyy snowdrops came today 😊❤️

[gretavangroupie]

Bloom (Chapter 8)

Chapter 7

Official Bloom Playlist

Warnings: Angst, Blood!!!, Fluff, Smut. 18+ ONLY. Minors DNI

A/N: Please make sure to check out the playlist above for the full effect while reading this chapter. As always, thanks for reading Merry Christmas!!

“You feel like home and everywhere I've never been, all at once.” - Butterflies Rising

You and Josh arrived back in Nashville the following Monday after a wonderful weekend in his hometown for Thanksgiving. You spent much of the next two weeks together, relaxing, cooking and planning your Christmas activities. Josh has been preparing for his first show back since they rescheduled them after San Antonio. He has rested and feels like he is back on top and ready to perform. Tomorrow the guys will all leave to play two consecutive shows in Atlantic City, New Jersey, returning home for a day before heading to Los Angeles for a week. 

Josh has begged you for the past two weeks to come with him and you reluctantly agreed since there is no bus travel involved. 

You are at your apartment visiting with Amelia, eating dinner, packing and catching up with her about all of the crazy things that have transpired in the last few weeks and promising to be around more. Your phone buzzes in your back pocket and you see Josh has texted you.

Josh: When are you coming home? 

Confused, you respond.

You: I am home? Im at my apartment right now? What do you mean?

Josh: That might be where your things live but I think you know where home is angel.

Not wanting to read too much into it, you reply quickly and shove your phone back into your pocket.

You: Soon.

Selecting your outfits for your trip you carefully pack them into a hard shell suitcase along with your toiletries and a box of tampons, knowing your period will be coming soon. Zipping up the case and bidding farewell to Amelia, you make your way back to Josh’s house. Walking inside you find Josh still packing his things meticulously in his suitcase, trying to shove it closed. 

“Ugh finally you’re back I need your help.” He says.

“You sit on this and i’m gonna zip it.” He says sitting you on his suitcase. The zipper glides closed with ease and you smile proudly. 

“See everything just works better when you’re here.” He says.

“Josh I was gone for like 3 hours, maybe.” You laugh.

“I know I just miss you when i’m here and you’re not.” He says.

Giving him a soft kiss on the cheek you change into one of his t-shirts and a pair of boxers and slide into the bed. 

“Tired, pretty girl?” He says placing the suitcase near the door. 

“Yeah, I am.” You reply knowing that its the fatigue starting to set in before the onslaught of your monthly visitor. 

“What’s wrong baby? Are you not excited for this weekend?” He asks sitting next to you on the bed.

“No I am, I just want it to be fun for you since its your first show back, but I am… about to have my time of the month and I’m not feeling the best.” You say nervously. You haven’t been with Josh while on your period yet, the time frames never lining up. 

“Oh, baby that's okay. Look if it makes you feel any better, that doesn’t bother me at all, in any way. I am going to make sure that you have fun this weekend and I will take care of you and pamper you the whole time. It will be great.” He smiles gently rubbing your hair. 

Leaning your head into his touch you nod yes. He gets up and changes clothes and crawls into bed next to you, spooning your body as you fall asleep next to him.

.

.

“Is that it?” You yell towards Josh who is in the house locking up before you head to the airport.

“Yep that’s it angel, we are ready to roll.” He calls back.

You have about 15 minutes to get to the airport to meet the guys before heading to Atlantic City.

As you pull into long term parking Josh asks how you’re feeling, you replying that you were doing okay today and him giving you a kiss on the cheek. You wheel your bags into the airport and check in at the ticket counter. You make it through to security where you see a girl snapping a picture of Josh as secretively as she can. You smile and laugh and push him ahead through the x-ray machine.

You both are pulling your shoes on as the girl approaches you both. “Hi are you Josh Kiszka?” She asks nervously.

“I am! How are you? Would you like a photo?” He asks the girl kindly.

“Oh my gosh, Hi, i’m great and yes if you don’t mind!” She replies happily.

“Baby?” Josh gestures as he hands you the girls cellphone. 

You take a few photos quickly before returning it to the girl who is absolutely gushing and thanking you and Josh profusely. You collect your things from the end of the belt and make your way to your gate, hand in hand. 

“Do you ever get tired of people asking for photos of you?” You ask as you walk.

“No, never… its sweet. They are always so nervous. I try to calm them down the best that I can.” He says.

He has such a kind heart, just one of the many things you love about him.

You approach the gate and see the rest of the guys and their girlfriends sitting chatting amongst themselves.

“Heyyyy I didn’t know you were coming!” Jake says enthusiastically towards you. The other girls clapping their hands excitedly at your presence. 

“Yeah, Josh wore me down” you say with a wink and elbow to his side.

“Good, we are gonna get into some trouble this weekend.” Sam jokes, his service dog Rose laying on the floor at his feet. Looking at her smiling, her tail gives you a small wag as a hello.

The flight in was short and sweet, only a little bit of turbulence from some bad weather moving through the area. You land and you all grab your luggage before a van delivers you to your hotel.  

As Lisa hands out room keys you wait patiently until she calls Josh’s name. He steps up taking the key and telling her thank you. He walks over to the group and asks them to meet him back here in an hour.

You and Josh make your way to your room and are immediately greeted with a gorgeous room overlooking the boardwalk. You can see the colorfully lit ferris wheel spinning in the distance. The room has a large king size bed, a full length mirror, along with a dresser, desk and a small couch. 

Josh opens his suitcase and begins hanging his clothes in the closet and placing his homey comforts on the bedside table. You excuse yourself to the bathroom only to find that, right on time, your period has arrived. You finish up and walk back into the room digging through your suitcase for the box of tampons. 

“Im sorry, baby. I mean, I guess it is a good thing.” Josh says sympathetically.

You nod your head agreeing before heading back to the bathroom to rectify the situation.

As you walk out Josh is sitting on the edge of the bed. “Come sit.” He says.

“Listen, you know I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world. I know you are not feeling good about yourself right now, but look. You are a woman. Your body is beautiful and is doing exactly what its made to do. Everything happening to you is natural and wonderful and you handle it with grace. I am going to continue to worship this body exactly as it should be. Including tonight…if you’ll let me. I want to show you how amazing it can feel to be completely consumed in each other in your most raw and natural state.” He finishes.

Jumping over his legs to straddle him you push him down onto the bed and lean over and press your lips to his. “Yes Josh, you can show me.” You say before standing up and going to look out the window. “We need to head back down there, they will be waiting for us.” You say.

You head downstairs and meet the guys in the lobby. Across the way is the entrance to the casino and you all make plans to try your hand at some slots after dinner. You enjoy a wonderful meal with lots of wine at the restaurant just down the street from the hotel. Afterwards you all head back and into the casino, most of you going for slot machines, and the others to the blackjack tables. 

An hour or so later you walk out with your winnings of $0.20, laughing at how Sammy lost $50.00. You are tired and smell like smoke from the casino but you remember what Josh has in store for the two of you as he slides his hand into the back pocket of your jeans.

“Still up for a little fun, angel?” He asks quietly.

“Only if you want to.” You reply.

He unlocks the hotel room door with the keycard and lets you in first. You sauntering across the room still tipsy from the alcohol with dinner, and the drinks in the casino.

He flops down on the bed with a deep sigh, “come here angel.” He says laying back.

You crawl between his legs, bending down and placing a kiss on his stomach, over his clothes. Feeling bold you unbutton his pants and hook your fingers into the hem dragging them down to let his dick be free. He is growing hard at the excitement of what’s happening, the soft kiss you place on the tip expediting the process.

You squat down off the bed and untie his shoes and remove his socks one at a time before pulling his pants completely off. with his legs hanging off the bed, bent at the knee. You sit up taller and grab the base of his length in your hand. He props himself up on his elbows to get a better look at what is happening. You make eye contact with him and as seductively as possible take him into your mouth, until you feel him at the back of your throat. You wrap your lips around him and slide back and forth never breaking eye contact. He throws his head back in pleasure a soft “fuck” leaving his throat. You continue and add a gripping motion to his base. Your other hand reaching up grazing your fingernails across his pelvis. As you continue to take him in, your tongue starts to swirl around the tip and he quivers under you. “Im gonna cum angel so pull off now if you want to.” He says urgently. You shake your head no, him still penetrating the back of your throat and with one good long stroke up his dick he cums spilling down the back of your throat.

“Jesus Christ, that was sinful." he says

You pull off of him standing up, taking your shoes and clothes off, leaving you standing in just your thong. Josh stands and takes the rest of his clothes off and makes his way to the bathroom, returning with a bath towel. He spreads it out over the sheets of the bed and turns back to you removing your panties. 

“Josh I have to go to the bathroom first…” you say and he nods understandingly.

You go to the bathroom and flush your tampon down the toilet, wash your hands and return to him. 

“Lay on that towel angel.” He instructs.

“The white towel?!” You say nervously.

“Angel they see this all the time i’m sure, don’t be ashamed.” He says rubbing his hands down your legs as you nod and lay on the towel.

“You know sex during your period is supposed to alleviate cramps?” He says. 

“I have heard that but, I've never tried. There’s never been anyone I’ve wanted to try with.” You reply.

“You’ve never had period sex before, angel?” He asks surprised.

“No.” You answer.

“I love you so much. I can’t believe you are mine.” He says. “Im going to be gentle, until you tell me not to, okay?” He asks.

“Please Josh…” you say, desperate for him.

He aligns himself with you, gently pushing into your cramping core with a groan.

It feels so good to have the pressure inside of you relieved by him. He begins to slowly rock his hips back and forth, the sound of your arousal filling the air. This is more of a wet sound than you’re both used to, and you feel his dick grow even harder. 

“God angel, this is something else.” He says as he continues. 

“Josh, you can be rough now. It’s okay.” You beg.

With that the pace of his hips pick up, his dick plunging deeper inside of you, the force of it pushing liquid out of you. As he continues you feel and hear a small spray leave you,  as you both realize that your blood has scattered across his torso. You feel embarrassed for a millisecond before Josh audibly indicates how much he loves it. 

Thrusting deep into you time and time again, liquid flowing freely from you, landing on the towel beneath you and adorning Josh’s pelvis. It all feels so good.

You do feel relief from your cramps as the coil inside of you tightens before your impending orgasm. You know that Josh isn’t too far behind by the moans he’s releasing. You can tell that period sex is something he is definitely into.

“My gorgeous woman. So fucking beautiful marking me with her blood. Fuck, I love you.” He says. Sending you rippling through your orgasm a small spray of arousal and blood hitting his base sending him into his own release. 

“Fuck, that was insanely hot. So primal.” he says pulling out of you, blood and slick coating his dick. “Stay there and let me watch.” He says watching his cum, tinted pink, leak out of you onto the towel. 

“Jesus Christ I’m going to cum again if I didn’t know better.” He says staring.

“Josh, stop…” You say blushing.

“You are a goddamn dream. Don’t ever think for one second that you aren’t… I will be damned if anyone ever does that to you, but me. ” He says getting up from the bed. He walks into the bathroom and turns on the shower before peaking his head out of the door  and saying “ready and waiting for you angel.”

He really is too good to you. That may have been one of the best orgasms of your life. Sitting up and swinging yourself off the bed, you hold the towel to your center as you walk, catching any excess fluids from dripping. You drop the towel on the bathroom floor and join Josh in the perfectly steamy shower. 

.

.

.

The next day when you wake Josh is gone but has left a note for you on the desk.

Went to find coffee…

x J

You smile at his cute handwriting, and set the note down and proceed to get dressed for the day. The guys will have soundcheck around 2:00 and Josh has demanded you come with him.

The venue is just around the corner in a different hotel. You straighten your hair and put on your outfit and lounge on the couch as you wait for him to return with coffee. You scroll through instagram and twitter and see nothing but excited comments from fans about the shows this weekend.

The door opens, Josh pushing it open with his foot with two coffees in his hand and a Starbucks bag hanging from his wrist.

“Its a good thing I love you…It was a mob scene at Starbucks, there were so many fans outside I had to send my mother in to get our order.” He laughs, “alas, here is your hot bean juice my lady.” He smiles.

Oh okay he is in a silly mood today. You love it when he is like this. He must be excited for the show. “Thanks baby!” You say happily accepting the large coffee.

“I also got you a muffin.” he says presenting you with a blueberry muffin.

“You’re the best.” You say kissing his soft pink lips. 

“Oh your nose is cold, how cold is it out there?” You ask.

“Uh frigid, I don’t know, wear a hat, a scarf, mittens whatever you have!” He jokes.

You laugh and kiss his nose.

Around 1:30 you Josh and the guys all meet in the lobby to head to the van to take you all to the venue for soundcheck. On the way the guys tentatively discuss the setlist for the evening and what they want to play for soundcheck. As you all enter backstage you see them check to see everything is set up how they want it and you and the other girls head down to the empty pit, your usual sound check spot. The guys play through a few songs, one oldie, according to Jakes girlfriend, and then they finish up and head back to the green room where you meet them. They will remain here for the rest of the day until it’s time for the show. You and the girls say your goodbyes and head back to the hotel to get ready. You all had outfits planned for the two nights of shows, coordinating to somewhat match color schemes. 

.

.

Arriving back to the green room later that evening, you are reunited with Josh and the guys who are now dressed in their stage outfits, and getting their rhinestones applied. Josh is walking around with his hot drink and cracking jokes for the girl who makes their social media videos. You hang out on the couch and he eventually makes his way over to you and sits down. 

“Are you ready?” You ask.

“Yeah I feel pretty good, my ear isn’t bothering me at all right now. Didn’t hurt after soundcheck so that is a good sign too.” He says, “I am so glad you’re here, the shows are just so much better when I know you’re out there watching.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world my love. You’re gonna do great tonight, and then you’re gonna take me back to the room and do whatever you want to me.” You whisper.

“That’s a deal angel.” He replies.

An hour or so later, the guys are stepping onto the stage and the fans are going absolutely insane. The energy the guys have on stage tonight is better than it has been in weeks. The crowd sings along to every song. They sway in unison to ‘Light My Love’ and you tear up knowing how much emotion that song causes people to feel. Your heart swells as you watch Josh and his brothers are living this dream. At the conclusion of the set, Josh takes a shot on stage with the fans and you use that as your cue and you and the girls head backstage from the sound booth.

A little while later the guys meet you back in the dressing room, they are all sweaty and ready for a drink. Josh walks up to you, wrapping his arms around you and dipping you down for a dramatic kiss. “Hello angel how was the show?” He asks standing you back up.

“Amazing as usual” you reply. You mingle with everyone while the guys take turns cleaning up and setting stuff up for tomorrows show. A while later you’re all bussing back to the hotel, tired from the long day.

You and Josh walk hand in hand to your room, both of you cold from the outside air. Getting into the room you can tell Josh is tired from the night. He hasn’t given a full on performance in over a month, the time off catching up with him. 

You change into your pajamas as you watch him. He grabs a pair of sweatpants walks over to the bed, slides his clothes of until he is completely naked, then sliding on the sweatpants. He goes into the bathroom and brushes his teeth before climbing into the bed. You scurry to the bathroom to brush your teeth and plug in both of your phones before getting in bed, turning off the lamp and curling into his open arms. 

“You know, you said I could have you any way I wanted you tonight? I want you to just hold me. I am so tired.” He breathes.

“I know baby, go to sleep. I'll still be here tomorrow.” You reply.

“Be here forever. Just like this.” He says before falling asleep in your arms.

The next morning played out differently than the first, Josh wised up and ordered coffee to the hotel from UberEats, thus avoiding the fans that knew he went there yesterday, and were inevitably waiting. You enjoyed your morning together reading in bed, cuddling and relaxing before getting ready to go for soundcheck again.

Josh told you that he had a surprise up his sleeve for the show tonight and to make sure you paid attention. After soundcheck ended, again you and the girls went back to the hotel to get ready. You made sure to look extra hot tonight since you and the guys were going out afterwards. A while later you and the girls walk into the green room to meet the guys before the show. Josh sees you enter and immediately jumps up and walks over to meet you. 

“Damn you look edible angel. I could fuck you right here right now.” He says quietly.

“Well that would be a mess, wouldn’t it?” You joke with a devilish grin.

“Ugh, you better stop before I get a massive erection before we go on.” He says.

“Wouldn’t be different than any other show, huh babe?” You say in a flirty tone.

His eyes about bulge out of his head and he runs his tongue along his teeth shaking his head. You can tell you are going to get it later.

The first half of the show was just as amazing if not better than the previous night. They played a few different songs and you were starting to form your favorites. After the drum solo, Josh talks to the crowd, and you see his eyes find you in the sound booth with a big smile and he says ‘ahh just like good sex…” before the lights fade to green and they play what you now know is ‘The Barbarians’.

You’re taken aback at his statement although you almost knew he was going to say something. This is the one he is throwing in for you and it is the sexiest song you’ve heard them play yet. You spend the rest of the show thinking about what you want him to play tonight while he has his way with you.

After wrapping up the show, and meeting the guys backstage, you wait as they get ready to go drink away the rest of the evening. You all end up at a bar close to the hotel, so that you can walk back when you’re ready. The guys are already pretty drunk by the time you arrive and you know that will make for a fun evening. You and Josh continue to make eyes at each other from across the bar all night. The guys are playing pool and the girls are sitting and watching from a table across the bar.  You down 4 gin and tonics before you start feeling fuzzy. Josh is taking notice of your loosened state and bids farewell to the gang before helping you up and wrapping his arm around your shoulder. As you walk outside the cold air slices through your clothes. It’s about two blocks to get back and it’s a fight against the wind the whole time. Once you step foot in the lobby both of you begin to thaw out. Your head feeling dizzy, the next thing you know the elevator is dropping you off on your floor. Then Josh is closing the room door, and undressing you. Flashing in and out of darkness you feel a little woozy. You try to pull yourself back into consciousness as Josh hands you a glass of water and sits you down on the end of the bed. You drink the whole glass.

“Maybe you went a little too hard baby?” He asks.

“No, I am fine. I just needed to sit for a minute.” You say. “I think I only had maybe 4 drinks? And I guess all the ones before we left.. okay maybe I did have a little much. I am feeling ok now I promise” you say as your hand slides up his leg. 

“Angel I need you to be sure you want to do this tonight.” He says. “I don’t know if I can be gentle and you're a little bit drunk.” 

“Even better.” You reply “but Josh?” You question. “Fuck me to that song.”

“What song?” He asks.

“The one you played tonight with the long guitar solo... towards the middle....” You say.

“Age of Machine?” He laughs out loud questioning you.

“Yes that one! It is pure sex, Josh. Especially after your little sex comment. Right in front of all those people! All I could think about for the rest of the show was fucking you to that song.” You replied confidently thanks to the alcohol.

“You want me to fuck you… to my own song…angel…” he says unsure.

“Please Joshy?” You say placing your hand over his bulge.

After an annoyed sigh he responds.

“Anything for you my love, but just real quick...you know it’s my brothers guitar that makes the song? I just want to be clear that you want me to fuck you while I listen to my brother playing his guitar?” He says sarcastically.

“Yep that’s right baby…” you say back.

“Fine. Strip, angel.” He demands walking to the bathroom.

When he returns he is in only his boxers with a towel in his hands. Grabbing his phone off the dresser and connecting it to a bluetooth speaker, he looks at you and shakes his head laughing. 

You hear a song start to play over the speaker as Josh walks over to you. He lays the towel down on the sheets and lays down on the bed laying his head on the pillows. 

“You’re on top first, angel.” 

You run to the bathroom and take care of your tampon before quickly returning to Josh who is laying on the bed gently stroking himself. You crawl over him and straddle his waist, your center sitting directly on top of his hard length. You lean over and and take his mouth with yours. Your tongues instantly finding each others tasting the remnants of the nights alcohol. His hands are on your hips pushing you down, grinding onto his dick back and forth. You can feel your wetness and it begins to slide easier. You push up from his lips and your hands are on either side of his head. He reaches his head up and bites down hard on one of your nipples. You scream out in pain. “There we go, that’s what I want to hear angel.” Josh says from underneath you. You lift up on your knees and grab the base of his dick aligning it with your center before slowly sliding down his full length. A moan escaping you from the fullness you feel inside of you. Placing your hands on his stomach you begin to rock back and forth in a wave motion, making sure you’re hitting your g spot with every forward motion. Josh grabs your hips thrusting into you from underneath with force sending a light splatter onto his base. He groans and as the evidence continues to marks his body over and over. As you feel your insides tightening you hear the opening notes to ‘Age of Machine’ and Josh makes a move to roll you over, still connected. 

You smile up at him and wrap your legs around him. He forcefully unwraps them grabbing them and pushing your knees into your chest just barely touching your chin. 

“You said you wanted me to fuck you to this song angel? Well, we are going to do it my way.”

He pounds into you in a thrust deeper than you’ve ever felt him before. A loud scream leaving your lips at the contact so far inside. 

“There baby, now that is how the song is intended to be enjoyed.” He says repeating the motion with force gritting this teeth as another scream leaves you. You feel the spray leaving your center and it seems to make Josh fuck you even harder as the irony smell fills the air. He brings one of your legs to rest on his shoulder and continues. As the guitar plays in the background and you hear Josh’s voice singing to you, you moan in pleasure.

“Hands and knees.” He says heavy breathed and sweaty.

Pulling off of him he is covered in sweat, your arousal, and your blood. You get on your hands and knees and he reenters you right as the guitar solo begins. He is rapidly thrusting into you at this point and a slap connects on your ass as you moan, “Josh, fuck I am going to cum.”

He grabs the hair at the back of your head grasping it and pulling your head back pounding into you twice more before your body shakes from your orgasm tearing through you. “Josh fuckkk…” you cry out. The sloshing noises continuing until he is cumming in side of you with one more hard thrust. “Fuuuuuckkk.” he moans. He pulls out and you stay in the position for another minute knowing he likes to admire his handiwork. “Gorgeous.” He says. You feel two fingers swipe up your slit and swirl around your opening catching the dripping release. He taps your ass, an indication that he is done and wants you to be comfortable. You are both a mess and Josh couldn’t seem happier about it. You both jump in the shower to rinse off the night and crawl into bed. You are laying in his arms as he twirls your hair. “You know I have never fucked anyone to one of my own songs before? That was a first for me.” He says.

“Really? I feel like you would have done that at least once or twice?” You respond.

“Nope, only with you.” He smiles kissing your head. He pulls the string on the lamp and you lay there curled together. “I love you so much Josh. I am so proud of you. You did amazing this weekend.”

“Thank you my love, it’s all because of you. My lucky charm. I love you more every day. I swear.” He says.

Kissing him softly on his lips you whisper your goodnights knowing you had a long travel day tomorrow before heading to Los Angeles this week. Thinking of your perfect man you let your eyes flutter shut and the darkness whisks you away.

You’re in the hotel room sitting reading a book on the couch overlooking the boardwalk. It’s night time and the room is dimly lit providing the perfect ambiance to your book. Josh isn’t back yet but you know he will be soon. You are turning the pages of your book and you hear a knock at the door. Figuring Josh must have left his key, you open it but to your surprise it isn’t Josh. It’s Jake.

“Hi Jake, what are you doing here?” You ask.

Leaning against the door frame his tongue slightly peaking out he smiles, “Lookin for you…”

“Me?” You respond.

“Indeed. Can I come in?” He asks.

“Sure, Josh isn’t here though?” You reply as he makes his way inside. 

“Not here for him…” he replies. He examines your body up and down with a smirk. You remember that you are wearing pajamas with no bra and get nervous, covering your chest with your arms.

“Its too late to hide now, sugar…” He says.

You stare at him shocked at what he is saying and shocked that you felt a rush of heat to your center. This is Josh’s brother, his twin brother. You shouldn't feel anything.

Jake speaks again, “Don’t be shy, I know you're turned on.”

“I don't know what you mean…I’m with Josh...” You stammer.

“You are so sexy you know that? The good girl thing really does it for me. Then you come out tonight with your tits all pushed up like that? I saw your glances all night, trust me. I noticed.” He says.

Your arousal growing heavier by the words leaving his mouth you stare at him. He stands up and walks towards you causing you to walk backwards until you are met by the wall.

“Your breathing is getting heavier doll, are you okay?” He says smugly knowing you won’t reply.

“Tell me, are you as good a girl as you seem? Because I don’t think you are… I think my brother got himself wild one didn’t he?” He asks tracing his index finger over your collar bone pushing your pajama top off to the side.

Your breath hikes as his fingers make contact with your skin. It is a similar electric feeling as that first time with Josh. Desire is swirling inside of you so fast that you know its getting to be too late to stop it. This is going to go one of two ways, bad or really really good. You didn’t want to admit to yourself that you’ve always found Jake attractive. Attractive in the way that he is your boyfriends twin, the forbidden twin. The one that brings the edge to make up for the softness of Josh. The one who brings the sex appeal and melts you with simple hand movements and fuck me eyes. You can’t say that you haven’t imagined this moment before, before quickly pushing it away into the corner of your mind. 

“I can see you thinkin doll, you want this to happen don’t you?” He asks.

You continue to stare at him. Knowing if you reply it’s all over. 

“Say it doll. You know you want this. Don’t think about what Josh will say. He knows. We all know. We can all see you want me just as bad as I want you.” He says. 

The thin string you were hanging by snaps and you reply “I do want you.”

In a fury his lips are on yours kissing you in a way so hard and so different than Josh. Its aggressive and needy and the exact opposite of your sweet Josh, but you kind of like it. The forbidden qualities shining through with Jake. 

“See I knew you weren’t a good girl. I knew you were hiding under there somewhere.” He says removing your top. He unbuckles his pants and unbuttons his button fly before pulling your pants off of your body. There you stand naked before him. Your boyfriends twin brother. Your boyfriends insanely hot, long haired, guitar god, twin brother.

You connect your lips with his again wrapping his long hair around your fingers and gripping tightly. His hands find your breasts squeezing them gently before pinching your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. 

A moan releasing from your throat causing his dick to grow harder against your bare stomach. 

“Damn and my brother gets to hear that whenever he wants? Criminal.” He says into your neck.

Suddenly he is picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder walking over to the bed before throwing your body down on top of the sheets. 

“I know you want me to fuck you as bad as I want to fuck you but we have to make this quick. Josh will only be gone for another 10 minutes. I made sure of that.” he states, pushing his boxers off, his dick hanging heavily between his legs. You stare at his length comparing when he stops you mid thought. 

"Not everything the same, huh?" He says, knowing he may have an extra inch on Josh.

Playing his little game you respond, “I'll be the judge of that.”

“There she is, keep going baby, make this memorable.” He says.

“Fuck me Jake.” You say with venom lacing your words.

His fingers run up your center collecting your slick before he coats the head of his dick with it. Lining up with your wet opening he pushes forwards and bottoms out inside of you. A groan releasing from your lips at the feeling of fullness inside of you.

“Jesus Christ you feel good doll. You are so tight.” He says as he begins to slow pull out and push back in. You wrap you legs around his calves and stare at him his bare chest adorned with a single pendant coin necklace. Grabbing the metal strand and pulling him closer to you, your lips capturing his and violent kiss. His tongue is swirling with yours in a way that you haven’t experienced. Again it’s very different than the way you and Josh typically kiss.

He starts to pound into you quickly. More aggressively and extremely vocally as a sheen of sweat begins to cover his body. “Fuck I can get why Josh never shuts up about fucking you…” he grunts “and I have to sit there and listen to it. Do you know what that’s like doll? Watching you with him, knowing that I can fuck you like this?” He says hitting your sensitive spot inside causing you to scream.

“Yeah scream for me doll. Let everyone hear how good this dick makes you feel.” He says continuing his movements. 

His fingers reach down and pinch your clit and the growing feeling in your stomach is starting to peak. “Ah you’re close aren’t you sugar, you’re gonna cum for me aren’t you? Say my name...I want to hear it on that pretty mouth.” He demands.

“Jake I'm gonna cum, don’t stop.” You beg.

“I'm not stopping doll, you just make those pretty sounds wrapped around my dick.” He says.

With those words you are shot into orbit, vision black and surrounded by twinkling stars. Jake's voice snapping you back as he moans at the extra wetness. “Your pussy is so tight doll I’m gonna cum, fuck. Do you want me to shoot inside of you or out…” he asks hastily.

“Inside…” you breathe

“Fuck, ok sugar. So bad letting me cum inside of you... All the while you’re with my twin. Goddamn your fuckin sweet.” He says grunting into you as you feel his release spray through you.

“Fuck you’re so good.” He says collapsing on top of you. “That’s what I always thought it would be.” He says kissing your neck one last time before jumping up and running into the bathroom. You lay there in shock.

He turns the shower on and peeks his head out the door, “Here jump in and wash this off before he gets back. Our secret huh sugar?” He says buttoning his pants. You get up and walk into the bathroom as he adjusts himself in the mirror. You get in the shower and by the time you get out, he’s gone. You get back in bed, and think for a while as you wait for Josh to return. 

You hear an alarm clock going off loudly and you can’t seem to find the source. You hear Josh’s voice echoing through the entire room and you open your eyes to find yourself in bed wrapped up in his arms confused at your surroundings. When did he get back? What's happening? Does he know?

“Good morning angel. Did you enjoy your dream?” He says smugly.

Oh my god, it was a dream. You had a sex dream. About Jake. 

“How did you know I was dreaming?” You ask.

“You were moaning, I thought you even had an orgasm there for a second.” He laughs.

“I think I did... Did I… say anything?” You ask nervously.

“No. It was a lot of pleasurable sounds to wake up to though…” he smiles kissing your face.

“Even in your dreams i’m taking care of you huh angel?” He asks.

Your heart drops into your stomach and you nod your head at him not wanting to think about what just happened.

As you get up and head to the shower you are filled to the brim with guilt. How could your brain do this to Josh. Why is this happening? Do you subconsciously have feelings for Jake? You push it all to the side as you stand under the shower spray. You finish your shower lost in your thoughts and come out to see Josh packing his suitcase up. You get dressed hardly able to look him in the eye you feel so guilty. Choking back your emotions you pack your suitcase up. You are quiet, and you know Josh can tell. 

“What is wrong angel? You’re not yourself?” He asks rubbing his hand down your arm.

“Oh, nothing baby. I’m fine. Just tired.” You reply.

“If something is wrong you would tell me right?” He asks with a concerned look.

“Of course.” You reply, knowing full well this is one of those thingse doesn't need to know.

As you check in at the airport for your flight back to Nashville you are handed your ticket and make your way to the gate. All of you chat amongst yourself until it’s time to board. 45 minutes later you hear them call your boarding groups and you head onto the plane. You suddenly realize that you and Josh are not seated together. He is 3 rows ahead of you sitting next to a stranger. He sits down and shrugs his shoulders at you. As you make your way to your seat you slide in next to the window and sip your water waiting to see who will be sitting next to you. Sam passes. Danny passes. The other girls pass. You make eye contact with Jake who nods at you and sits down in the empty seat. This is your living nightmare and he has no idea.

“Looks like we’re together.” He says.

You about choke on your water. 

“So it seems. I wonder why we are all split up?” You question.

“Ah, well it will be a quickie.” He says.

Your breath hitches again as you recall your dream yet again.

“Mhmm” you say reaching for your book.

“Whatcha got there?” He asks.

“Ahh its just a book I’ve been reading this weekend. I'm almost done.” You reply.

“Am I that boring that you’d rather read a book than talk to me?” He asks.

You feel the plane start to glide down the tarmac indicating take off.

“No, I just don’t want to bother you.” You say.

“Ah you’re not a bother darlin, you’re one of us now.” He says.

You stare at him, he is sort of beautiful in his own way. Stop it! You tell yourself.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asks.

“Like what?” You reply.

“Like you’re scared of me or something, I don’t know. I can’t put my finger on it.” He says.

You swallow hard and hold your breath as you feel the plane lifting off the ground. 

His hand pats the top of your arm, gripping the arm rest. And you suck in a breath.

“Nervous flyer?” He asks.

“A little bit today...” you say. Its not a lie. You are definitely nervous about this whole situation. You know he has no idea about your dream but god it felt so real you almost wonder if he had it too.

“Well, we will be fine don’t worry sugar.” He says with a kind smile. He leans over the arm rest into the aisle to see if he can see his girlfriend giving her a small wave and a smile. 

He sits back in his chair and blows out a breath. 

A while later he starts up a new conversation.

“You know, I’m really happy for you and Josh. I don’t think we have ever talked about it, but he really loves you and I’m glad you have each other. It’s a night and day difference for him.” He says.

“Thanks Jake, I love him too. He makes me really happy.” You reply. Still eaten alive by guilt.

“Good, he’s had a rough year, you know that though. When he is hurting so am I. So seeing him happy with you also makes me happy.” He says.

“Well I guess as long as he keeps me around, everyone will be…happy…” you joke.

“I don’t think you’re going anywhere darlin’. At least that’s what he told me.” He says.

“What do you mean?” You ask.

“Ah i’ve said to much. Just glad you’re in our life is all.” He says.

You let the conversation go and you turn to your place in your book and try to read for the rest of the flight even though your mind is racing through everything that has happened today. 

As you arrive back in Nashville you all say your goodbyes knowing you’ll be right back here tomorrow morning. You and Josh find his car in long term parking and get into the freezing cold cab.

“How was your flight my love?” Josh asks.

“Oh it was eventful, you know I was next to Jake right?” You say.

“I kind of saw that.” He laughs “I bet that was interesting, you two don’t talk very much.” 

“I always mean to, but I never know what to say.” You reply.

“Yeah he can be a little intimidating but I promise it’s all a facade. He is just like me with a tougher looking exterior.” He jokes.

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” You reply.

When you arrive back at Josh’s house you are met with the familiar feeling of home. It's smells, and comforts. You’re aren’t sure how Josh is able to do this all the time, leaving and returning. Its hard and you were only gone for 3 days, you can’t imagine it being months at a time.

Josh noticing you’re quiet again asks, “Baby, you are all in your head today. What is going on?”

“Nothing, Josh I promise. Just having an off day.” You reply. 

He raises his eyebrows at you, knowing you aren’t telling the truth but letting it go giving you a delicate kiss on the lips. 

He places an album on the turn table and you begin to relax and you sort through your suitcase removing the dirty clothes, replacing them with clean clothes and more outfits before you leave for LA tomorrow. Josh makes you both something to eat in the kitchen and you hear the song ‘Dirty Work’ by Steely Dan spinning, singing to your subconscious thoughts.

“When you need a bit of lovin’ cause your man is out of town, that’s the time you get me runnin’  and you know i’ll be around…. I’m a fool to do your dirty work, oh yeah…..I don’t wanna do your dirty work, no more, i’m a fool to do your dirty work oh yeah…..”

You feel a swirling feeling in your stomach like you’re going to vomit and run to the bathroom and sit on the floor. Why is the guilt eating you alive? You didn’t do anything wrong? Did you? You breathe deeply for a few minutes and collect your thoughts hoping Josh didn’t notice.

You hear footsteps and a knock at the door.

“Baby…” He questions.

“I'm ok.” You reply opening the door.

He stands there with his hands on his hips. “Quit lying to me. What is going on.” He says harshly.

Quickly running through all of the scenarios and what could possibly play out if you told the truth you decide on the the option with the best outcome.

“Josh I don’t know what to say…” You reply.

“Oh god what’s wrong?” He asks concerned.

“Can we sit?” You ask. 

You both sit down on the edge of his bed and you place your head in your hands.

“You’re scaring me angel what’s going on?” He asks nervously.

“Nothing is going on, nothing happened I am just…” you reply swallowing your nerve and telling the truth.

“Ok you know how last night when we had sex you were talking a lot, about your brothers and the music and we were so in the moment…” you stammer. “I don’t know if it was the alcohol mixing with my subconscious and your words or what… I just…”

“What, just say it…” he begs.

Taking a deep breath you respond. “I had a sex dream about your brother…” you say nervously looking him in the eyes. “It's eating me alive, that’s what you heard this morning. I feel so guilty and embarrassed and I haven’t been able to even look at you all day, I’m so sorry Josh.” You finish.

He stares at you blankly thinking about what you’ve said. Remembering your orgasm from this morning.

“Which brother...” He finally says.

“You know…don’t make me say it...” You reply.

“Say it now angel or it's only going to make it worse.” He snaps.

“Jake. It was about Jake. Im so sorry Josh, please.” You reply with tears in your eyes.

“Was it good?” He asks blankly.

“What?” You ask completely shocked.

“Was. It. Good. Did he fuck you real good in your dream, angel? Did he do all of the dirty little things you fantasize about?” He asks harshly shaking his head.

“I…Josh…” you say speechless.

Getting up and pacing around the room, he continues. “How long have you been thinking about Jake? Do you imagine him when I am fucking you?” He asks.

“Josh how could you say that? You know I love you…” you say, devastated he would even say that.

“Save it. I can’t believe the moans coming from your mouth this morning. All along I thought you were dreaming of me. Of course it wasn’t me…my own fucking brother. My twin. Why was I not enough? You are dreaming about fucking JAKE?!” he finishes teetering on anger. 

“Josh stop it” you cry. “Don’t you think I feel guilty? I love you. I don’t know why this happened!” You cry to him.

“Answer my question.” He says.

“What question?” You reply.

“Was it good? Did you like it? Tell the truth.” He demands.

“Josh, I…” You stop not wanting to finish the sentence as the tears freely flowing from your eyes.

"Answer!!" he yells at you.

You burst into tears, "Yes!"

A pissed off sigh coming from his chest he walks over to you, your face streaked with tears, taking it between his hands. “Go home…” he says behind his teeth, brushing his thumbs over your cheeks.

“I thought you said... this was home…” you say crying harder.

“Not anymore.” He says, releasing your face forcefully and walking away.

“What about LA?” You ask, scared to hear his answer.

“I'm going alone.” He replies coldly.

Throwing yourself back onto the bed your crossed arms cover your face as you quietly sob into them as Josh leaves the room.

Laying in his bed wondering if it’s the last time, you breath in his smells remembering this moment, You pull yourself up, looking at yourself in the mirror. Puffy eyes, swollen with tears. Your heart broken over something you couldn’t control. You’ve lost him. You collect your things and catch a glance at the polaroid tucked into the frame on his side table. A photo from Sammy’s camera that he took over Thanksgiving. A photo of you and Josh dancing in his living room, your smiles genuine and covered in love. Everything was perfect. Your heart breaks a little more.

You roll your suitcase out to the living room and Josh is gone. You see a plate of food set set neatly for you on the counter, remnants from earlier in the evening and you cry again. 

You call out for him, but the house is silent. His car is gone.

You load your things into your car and as you pull away from his house you wonder if it will be for the last time, another sob ringing out from your chest. The realization of how much you actually love him becoming evident. 

As you unlock the door to the apartment you see Amelia sitting on the couch watching tv and your eyes meet hers and she knows. You don’t even have to say anything and you she running to your side. 

“Oh god, pen. Is it really bad?” She asks.

You nod your head and collapse into her comforting hug and explain everything, so thankful you have her. 

.

.

.

You haven’t heard from Josh. It’s been days. You know he is in Los Angeles and you’re supposed to be there with him. You had a whole day planned together just you and him doing Christmas activities. Now you’re at your apartment alone and heartbroken. You check your phone constantly waiting to hear from him. But nothing ever comes. Checking social media, but he never posts. He’s completely silent. Amelia drags you out of the house to do some Christmas shopping and you can’t help but see a thousand things that remind you of him. As you walk around an antique mall you spot an item that you know was put there for you to find. Even though you and Josh are not speaking, you purchase the item, knowing that it is the perfect gift. Even if you have to leave it on his porch, you know it is destined to belong to him. You take the item home and wrap it delicately in brown paper. That night when you check social media you are presented with a tagged post. The guys are in a restaurant in LA and they are drinking and look so happy and you are crushed. He looks so happy. You miss him so badly but don’t reach out. You can’t.

You convince yourself to watch the livestream of the guys performance tonight even though you know it’s just torturing yourself. As you see them walk up to be interviewed your eyes fill with tears. Josh looks amazing and happy. It hurts knowing you are here like this and he is there completely unaffected. They all smile and laugh and are glowing together. You can’t believe you ruined everything. A while later they take the stage but something is off. Their moods aren’t the same. The crowd is almost empty and quiet. You can see the frustration on Josh’s face. He is tired, and out of breath. They are rushing through the set, and as quickly as they started its over. This was their last show of the year and you know he won’t be happy with how they left things. You feel for him and again want to reach out but don’t.

One, two, three more days pass. Still you have heard nothing.

On the fourth day you wake up to a text message.

Jake: Call me.

You feel like you’re going to throw up. You can’t call Jake? That is adding more fuel to the fire. Why is he texting you? You think on it for a few more minutes as your finger hovers over the contact and you hit the call button.

“Hello?” He answers.

“Hi” you reply shakily.

“Hi” he replies. “How are you doing?” He asks.

“I’m not great Jake, I think you know that.” You quip back.

“I do, and I'm sorry.” He says, “Have you heard from him?”

“No.” You respond.

“I figured as much. You need to talk to him.” He says. “Go to his house.”

“I don’t know Jake he pretty much told me to leave and was gone before I left. I haven’t heard from him since. I think he is done.” You say.

“Hes not. Just trust me.” He says.

“Okay.” You reply.

“So you’ll do it. You’ll go?” He asks.

“When I gather up enough courage, yes.” You say.

“Do it soon. Please.” He begs.

“Okay, I will.” You say.

“Thank you, we miss you, you know...” He says

“I miss you guys too.” You reply

“I hope everything works out. I’ll talk to you later.” He says.

“Thanks Jake. Bye.” You say ending the call.

Well that was odd. You think about what he said. You thought you and Josh were done, but maybe you weren’t after all. You talk to Amelia and she agrees that maybe you just need to go talk to him face to face now that some time has passed. You get yourself ready and give yourself about 10 pep talks to keep yourself from backing out. You get into your car and head over. The worst thing that can happen is that he can tell you he is done and to go home. As you pull into the driveway you see his car and get a horrible wave of nervous energy in your stomach. You try to breathe and center yourself. As you get out and walk to the door you are still shaking with nerves. You knock on the door three times and wait.

The door opens and he stands there staring at you blankly, fresh out of a shower, wrapped in a towel.

“Do you always answer the door naked?” You ask shyly.

“Well I wasn’t expecting anyone...” He replies with the tiniest hint of a smile. “Come in.” He says.

As you walk in it no longer feels homey you feel strange and uncomfortable. You sit on his couch, and he tells you he will be right back. A few minutes later her returns fully clothed and sits down in a chair next to the couch. 

“Josh, I….” You start, you are unsure of how to explain how you feel but you hope he will understand if he just listens. “Im so sorry.”

“I know you are. He replies. 

“I never meant for any of this to happen. I love you so much. Only you. I don’t even know why I had that dream. It meant nothing to me….” You say.

“I know.” He says. 

“Can you say something? Anything other than I know? I am trying to make this right. I'm getting the feeling that you don’t want to do that.” You say.

“What do you want me to say? That you broke my heart? That you broke my heart thinking about fucking my brother? And that you enjoyed it? I have given you everything I have! I love you, I wanted it all with you! I just don’t know how I can get past this… it hurts.” he says.

“You left me here. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.” you say.

“I know. I had to know.” He says.

“Know what?” You reply.

“When I left here I drove straight to his house. I asked him if he had any feelings for you. To which he obviously said no. I told him what happened and told him that if there was anything going on he needed to tell me right then. He told me I was insane and that he would never do that. That I needed to go back to you before I ruined everything. When I got home you were gone.” He said.

“You told me to go Josh…” You say with tears in your eyes. 

“I know, I did but I didn’t think you would actually do it! I just knew I would get back in time but you were gone. I thought that meant you…” he swallows back his own tears.

“Josh no…” you say reaching for his hand. “I love you. Only you. Never anyone else. How could you possibly think…” you say fully crying now.

“I don’t know, I know you love me but I just… I over reacted and I was cruel and I thought I lost you. I almost came to you that night but I was afraid you would turn me away. And then I was in LA and I was miserable. But I couldn’t call you. I didn’t know what to say. Then Jake and I argued before the show because I just couldn’t let it go. I got too drunk that night and fought with everyone… everyone was pissed at me. My life has been a mess the past week and I didn’t have you, and everything just seemed really bad. Too bad. I finally talked to Jake last night and he helped me realize that I can’t do this without you. Any of it. I didn’t know how to make things right between us. I was going to let you go. Now you’re here and I still don’t know what to say other than I love you so much and I am so sorry. ” He finishes.

Launching yourself into his lap you sit straddling him and just cry on his shoulder. His arms wrap around you and pull you closer. 

“I'm so sorry baby I never wanted this to happen. This was the worst week of my life, watching you sing from my bed, heartbroken. I thought you were happier without me there. The pictures were so convincing and I was so devastated.” You cry into his chest. “I will never want anyone else, only you Josh. Please believe me.”

“I do believe you angel.”

Your lips reuniting with a passionate kiss, his hands desperately gripping you to him.

Pulling away, you say “You know he called me and told me to come to you right?"

He stares at you.

“He told me to come here, to come to you. He loves you so much Josh, he was devastated for you. He cares about you so much. We both do. How could you ever think…” he cuts you off with his lips on yours again, his tongue finding yours, telling you everything he couldn’t say for the past week and a half.

You lips connected, he stands up from the chair carrying you to his bedroom and gently places you on his bed. 

“Please let me love you angel.” He says.

“Please Josh...” You beg. 

You are desperate for his touch, to feel him again.

You both quickly remove your clothes and find each other again under the sheets. 

“I never want to feel the feeling I felt when I came back and you were gone.” He says kissing your neck. “That was the worst pain I’ve felt in my life. I thought you were gone for good.” 

“I will never leave you Josh.” You reply.

“Promise me.” He says lining himself with your center.

“I promise. Everything I have.” You say as you feel him slowly push inside of you. 

This sex is different, it’s slow and filled with emotions. There isn’t an urgent moment. Every single second is spent with Josh reverently worshipping every inch of your body and you his. You both work slowly towards your release, sharing with each other every raw emotion and feeling in between the seconds. After you both come down from your orgasms he whispers into your hair, “I will love you forever my angel. Please never go.”

“Never.” You reply.

.

.

You and Josh become absolutely inseparable from each other over the next few days. You and he sharing a new found connection that brings you closer than you ever thought you could be. The days are spent watching Christmas movies together and enjoying just being together. Josh has asked you to come home with him for Christmas with his family and you can think of no better way to spend it. 

.

.

Christmas Eve at Josh’s childhood home proves to be nothing short of magical. Everyone is here and you feel so much love for all the people around you. Karen and Kelly have decorated the house with lights, and the inside is just as beautifully decorated as the outside. You spend the evening around the fireplace laughing, telling jokes and stories from years past. Sammy and Jake are completely wasted on eggnog and playfully bickering with one another as you all cheer them on. As you watch them, Josh stands up and pulls your hand up with him. 

“Come with me.” He says.

You follow behind him as he drags you by your interlaced fingers.

He leads you to the Christmas tree in the basement, squatting down and retrieving two small boxes from under the tree. 

“Josh, Christmas is tomorrow!” You say.

“I know and there will be things to open tomorrow too, but these are special. For me and you only.” He says.

“Fine then you get to open your special gift too.” You say retrieving the one you brought for him.

He hands you the small box, and you both sit down on the floor. He nods at you to go ahead with a huge smile on his face. You slowly unwrap the package and open the little white box. Your heart swells when you immediately recognize what it is. Its a gold necklace with a ‘J’ initial pendant. It is the necklace he has worn every night on his tour. 

“I want you to have it. Every night when I would put it on I would imagine what it would look like around your neck. My name. You were always meant to have it.” He says with his hand on your knee. 

“Oh Josh, I love it so much. Thank you. It means so much to me.” You say with a kiss. 

You put it on and clasp it around your neck.

“Its perfect. Exactly like I pictured it. Even better actually.” He replies lovingly. 

“Your turn! Gosh I hope you like it.” you say nervously.

Josh unwraps the gift pulling out a vintage leather-bound notebook with a worn cover. Inside the first page you have written a note.

“For all of your brilliant ideas. Don’t forget to live your dream, too. I love you forever."

Wiping a small tear from his eye, he then pulls out of the box, a super vintage handheld film video camera with a bright red bow attached. 

“I hope you like it, I saw it when you were in LA and thought of you.It broke my heart and I knew you were meant to have it. I didn’t know if I was going to see you again though. I was going to leave it on your doorstep, but this plan works out better.” You say giggling.

“You are the most amazing woman. The love of my life. It’s the best gift I have ever received.”

“I'm glad you like it, I love you so much Josh. Merry Christmas.” you say.

“Merry Christmas my love, although I do have one more for you. If… you want it.” He says playfully.

“Okay, only if you’re sure.” He says.

“Never been more sure than right now.” He smiles, handing you the box.

 You unwrap it the paper and open the box and there is a gold house key with a red bow tied to the top.

“Move in with me…” Josh asks. “I know you practically live with me now, but I want you there all the time. All of your things. I want to come home to you. Every late night at the studio, every long leg of tour…. I want you. If you can’t be with me there, at least I know you’ll be at home. Our home. ” He says.

“Are you… sure Josh?” You ask clutching the key in your hand.

“I have never been more sure of anything in my life angel. I love you, I want this with you. All of it. Always. ” He says.

You kiss his soft warm lips as you respond throwing your arms around his neck. 

“Yes.”

.

.

.

.

fin

[fairy-writes]

so…I’ve seen you write something for Hei from Darker than Black, and if it’s not too much trouble I WILL request more of him in the future, there needs to be more DtB content out there.

BUT

I also saw a note about November 11, and I wanted to ask if you might be willing to do something with him with a femme civilian reader? she’s very shy, not very outgoing and not prone to going many places on her own unless she has to go to a store or feels daring enough to go to a café, but wound up affiliated with a contractor and November’s job is initially to just get rid of said contractor, but as he gathers intel he winds up very interested in the reader. at first curiosity, but it blooms into something he just can’t quite put his finger on. meanwhile the reader just sees a very friendly Jack Simon, and falls for him too.

but he has a very icy secret, can he keep it or will he be forced to choose between his profession and what he knows is in his heart?

…also mild Dadvember because he’s very much July’s dad and I will hear nothing to the contrary

KNITTED WITH SECRECY

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Darker than Black

Pairing(s): November 11 x Reader

Word Count: 6k (PLS READ IM BEGGING YOU)

Genre(s)/Tag(s): Female!Reader, Civilian!Reader, Reader is described as smaller than November 11, Reader is also implied to have longer hair

Notes: THANKS SO MUCH FOR THIS REQUEST

I LOVE NOVEMBER 11 SO MUCH

(This also takes place outside of Japan, just FYI)

__________________________________________________________________________

This whole day was a mistake.

It was supposed to be simple. Go out, get groceries, and then go home. Maybe. Just maybe! You could stop at that cat café you had been dying to try on your way home.

Maybe Al wouldn’t be too upset about smelling other cats. 

Who were you kidding? He was always upset when he smelled another animal on your clothes. It was part of what made having the little bobtail so much fun. 

You stifle a sneeze and rub at your nose as people mill through the grocery store. There had been a sale on shrimp and vegetables, hence why you ventured out of your apartment in the first place. But it seemed that you were out of luck. You had yet to find said shrimp or even the veggies on sale. 

And you were looking forward to eating healthy for once, too!

Oh heavens… You were turning into your mother.

You end up ducking out of the grocery store without having bought anything except for some cat treats and wet food and slowly make your way home to your little dingy one-bedroom apartment. 

Only to run straight into the one person you don’t want to talk to the moment you get into your apartment complex. You hear your name from a shrill voice and cringe internally. 

“Hello, Mrs. Ellis!” You say cheerily and pour all your fake happiness into your words. You wave ‘happily’ to the old woman outside on the bench near your building. She’s knitting something that looks vaguely like a scarf? She had made you something last year for Christmas, and you had just given it to Al as a plaything because it was so itchy. 

Of course, you didn’t tell her. 

“How are you doing, dearie? Are you eating well enough?” She asks, and you nod, pointedly ignoring the fact that you still didn’t have groceries for the week. She didn’t need to know too much. She already knew way more than she let on, and you blamed it on your ability to never shut up when you were nervous.

But she didn’t need to know that either. 

You make aimless small talk for a few minutes until you are positively dying to go upstairs and see your beloved cat. Al’s probably getting close to yowling at the empty apartment by now, and you can’t afford another noise complaint. 

“I really gotta get upstairs, Mrs. Ellis. Al’s waiting for me and all. I need to give him his daily treats, y’know?” You say quickly, and the woman nods happily, curls bouncing, before returning to her knitting. 

Your assumption was correct. You could hear Al screeching his lungs out like a child possessed as you made it to the third floor of your apartment building. However, he quiets down when he inevitably hears your keys jingling in the lock. The second the door is open, you can hear his heavy paws on the floor as he tries to get out and see what you have. So, you stick your foot in the crack to stop him, nudging him back with your toes as you squeeze in through the door. 

The little (big) bobtail cat chirps, meows, and weaves between your legs as if trying to trip you. He can surely smell the treats in your grocery bag and, despite already being rather hefty, is begging for more. 

“I know, I know, I’m coming!” You say to your cat and set the bag on the countertop in the kitchen. Al doesn’t bother trying to jump up; he’s too heavy for that. And while you had tried several times to put him on a diet, it never seemed to stick. 

It was clear that Al had you wrapped tightly around his paw.

But it was a routine you enjoyed, and routines were good, so you really didn’t complain too much.

Your routine was obliterated that next week. 

And it all started with a knock on the front door. 

You look up from your Nintendo Switch from your parents and frown, pausing your game and heading toward the entrance of your humble abode. Al was hot on your heels, his collar jingling as you opened the front door. 

“Mrs. Ellis? How can I help you?” You say hesitantly and yelp as she pushes something into your hands. Your heart sinks as you look at what she has given you. 

It’s another scarf. 

By the looks of it, it’s the one she was knitting last week. It’s horribly long and rather lopsided, with horrible colors of yellow and green that burn your retinas. 

“Just a gift for you, dearie! For always working so hard!” She chirps and abruptly leaves you alone in the doorway. 

You look down at your feline companion, who is on his back, batting at the end of the scarf. He trills and chuffs as he plays with the long knitted garment.

“Well, Al… looks like you have a new toy.” You mutter and shut the door. 

That evening, you get another knock on the door. You look back up from your Nintendo Switch—you hadn’t moved since you sat down—and grimace. Two people at your door in one day? It could only be your landlord. Maybe you had gotten a noise complaint that you didn’t know about? You glance at your snoozing feline wrapped in his newest toy and shrug. 

Hopefully, it wasn’t a burglar or worse. Your landlord. Or even worse than that, Mrs. Ellis with yet another scarf. 

It’s none of the above. 

You open your front door just a crack and come face to face with a chest. You blink and look up. 

Styled blond hair, gray eyes hidden behind sunglasses, dressed in a white suit, purple button-down, and matching tie. He’s handsome, exceptionally so. And looks to be around your age, too. You feel your ears burn and your heart speed up. 

Calm down! He was way out of your league anyway!

Besides… You shift your gaze and realize the man isn’t alone. A woman and a child are with him. The woman has dark skin and beautiful golden eyes. She’s dressed in a fuchsia coat with a fur trim. The boy wears a button-down and bow tie with shorts, suspenders, and loafers. 

What an… odd group of people…

“Uh… Can I help you?” You hesitate before remembering your manners at the last second. The man dips his head as if tipping an imaginary hat, and his lips quirked into a dashing smile. 

“Good evening, ma’am. My name is Jack Simon. Might we come inside?” His accent is incredibly attractive, and you feel your ears burning again. 

But… You don’t know any of these people… So you close the door just a smidge. Jack Simon’s smile falters just the tiniest bit. 

“Why should I? I don’t even know who you are.” You say, and the woman chuckles,

“She’s got you there.” She turns her attention to you and grins, “My name is April. This is July. We’re here on official business from MI6. We’re hoping to speak to you about a neighbor in your complex?” She says kindly, and you mentally take note of their strange names and open the door a crack.

“Which neighbor? There are like fifty in this building alone.” You say skeptically and narrow your eyes when Jack Simon reaches into the breast pocket of his suit jacket and pulls out a photo. 

Is that…?

“It’s been some time since this picture was taken, but do you know—”

“That’s Mrs. Ellis.” You blurt, effectively cutting him off as you look at a photo of your much older-looking neighbor. The picture looked like it was taken about sixty years ago when she was in her mid-teens. But the slope of her nose was the same, as was the shape of her eyes. 

Jack raises an eyebrow.

“Does she have a first name?” At this, you shrugged and bent down to pick up Al, who had woken from his nap and was currently trying to escape. April lets out a quiet gasp of glee and lets go of July’s hand. 

“Oh, look at the cute kitty! Might I ask their name?” She asks and extends her hand to let Al sniff. A deep rumbling purr is heard as she scratches under his chin. You let out a tight laugh. 

He’s getting heavy.

“His name is Al Pawcino. He’s an eight-year-old bobtail and incredibly overweight, but we’re trying to work on that.” You say quickly, and she lets out a loud laugh.

“Al Pawcino! You’re kidding!” Jack tries to step in, but you are emboldened by the interest in your feline friend. 

“Al Pacino was my dad’s favorite actor.” You say, and even July steps forward to pet Al. His eyes creep you out a bit. They’re blank and empty like that of a doll. 

“If we could get back on track, please,” Jack says, exasperated, and you nod. 

“I don’t know her first name. I'm pretty sure she doesn’t know mine, either. She lives… actually, I don’t know where she lives in this complex. She mainly sits downstairs and knits.” You reply and shift Al in your arms. 

You were starting to babble again. 

Jack raises an eyebrow.

“Knits?” You frowned and nodded again, setting Al down and retrieving the new scarf on the hook by your door. Al tries to escape, so you nudge him back with your foot and step outside so you can shut the door behind you. 

“Sure, all the time. Here, I’ll show you, they’re kind of bad, though. Al plays with the other one.” You say and hand him the horrendous article of clothing.

The man studies the knitted fabric and then to you.

“Do you know why she gave this to you?” He asks, and you shrug,

“She said she gave me this one because “I’ve been working so hard.”” You reply, and he hums before folding up the ‘scarf’ and tucking it into his trouser pocket. 

It bulges awkwardly, but you don’t have the heart to tell him as you just let out an indignant cry,

“Hey! What are you doing?!” He looks pointedly over his sunglasses (who even wears sunglasses at night?), and your mouth snaps shut.

“We have reason to believe that she is not who she says she is. This scarf is evidence.” He says curtly, and just like that, the odd little trio left you alone outside your apartment.

You watch them leave, and when they descend the stairs, you turn and go to open the front door.

Only to find that it’s locked.

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”

The next time you see the mysterious Jack Simon is just the following week. He doesn’t have April with him, which is odd. Even with your brief first encounter, you had the feeling they were always around each other.

One hand is occupied with his cell phone, which is pressed to his ear. The other holds July’s hand. The doll-like boy simply stands there on the street corner with Jack and watches the world pass by.

You gulp down the last of your coffee at the café and head out, having already paid for your drink. 

What are you doing?

Surely you aren’t—

“Mr. Simon! July!” You find yourself saying, and they both turn to look at you, almost in unison. You offer a friendly smile that you hope doesn’t look too awkward and come to a stop before them. Jack says a quick goodbye and ends his call, smiling that same dashing smile as before.

Again, you can feel your heart speed up.

He says your name, and you duck your head in greeting.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again.” He says, and you fall in stride beside him and his… friend? Son? Acquaintance?

“Likewise, can I ask how your investigation is going?” You ask, and he pulls down his sunglasses to wink, 

“That is confidential information, ma’am.” He quips, and you roll your eyes. 

“I’m part of the investigation, right? Surely I can be told something.” You ask, unsure of where this excitement about the investigation into Mrs. Ellis is coming from. She was a bit obnoxious even though she meant well. But Al didn’t like her, so by proxy, you didn’t either. So, by all means, you shouldn’t have cared about what happened to her. 

But there was something about this mysterious Jack Simon man that wanted you to keep him talking. He had a voice as smooth as silk that made tingles go from the tips of your ears down to your toes. 

Said man sighed, looked both ways, and as the light signifies that you could walk, the three of you started crossing the street. 

“I suppose you can know a little…” He muses and smiles as you give a quiet cheer. “But not here. We need to be away from prying eyes.” He continued quickly, and you blinked several times in confusion. 

Just what was he about to tell you?!

The car you’re in has blackened windows and heated leather seats. The driver is separated by glass and keeps his eyes on the road. Save for the size, this seems more like a limo than anything. 

“Might I offer you a sparkling water?” Jack says and you lurch awkwardly as you get buckled. 

“Uh… No thanks… I’m not the biggest fan of fizz.” You say, and Jack shrugs, taking one for himself before closing the center console that held the drinks. He raps on the glass separating you and the driver, and the car rumbles into motion. 

“Now… What to tell you about the case?” Jack mutters to himself. You glance at him from where you had been looking out the window. He sat across from you, with July at his side. The little boy was watching you, hands folded neatly in his lap. 

He kind of gave you the creeps… He was so… doll-like…

“What do you know about Contractors?” Jack says abruptly, and you startle slightly. Then you frown. 

“What like construction contractors?” You reply, and he shakes his head. 

“I mean the ones that appeared when Hell and Heaven’s Gate appeared ten years ago.” 

A shiver ran down your spine at that. 

You had heard whispers. People talking in hushed voices over coffee about speculations about people with supernatural powers. About Dolls with no emotions who could see you through their medium. 

Wait a minute… 

Your eyes narrow at Jack Simon and his mysterious child acquaintance, July. 

“Are you a Contractor?” You ask hesitantly, and his eyebrows shoot up. 

“What makes you say that?” He asks, but his tone has changed. Something icy cold, like frost glazing over a window and dropping the temperature. You can’t help but shudder. 

“Your vibes. And July, too. I’ve heard about Dolls, and it makes sense that he’d be one of them.” You say, and Jack Simon stares blankly for a moment.

Then he begins to laugh. 

A deep body-shaking laugh that has him covering his mouth. You feel your face heat up.

Eventually, Jack gets his emotions under control and takes a deep breath. 

“You’ve got me. July is a Doll. I’m a Contractor. April is as well.” He says, and you freeze.

“But I thought Contractors worked for the black market? You said you worked for the United Kingdom and MI6!” You blurt, and he nods his head to the side,

“Not all Contractors work for the black market. Many work for corporations like PANDORA or secret services like MI6.” He explains, and you hum. 

“So you’re like a super secret spy?” You say, almost teasing, and he chuckles at that, making your heart stutter for the umpteenth time that day.

You like the sound of his laugh. 

It is then that you remember why you’re in the darkened car in the first place and snap your fingers. 

“Mrs. Ellis! Why are you investigating her, and what does she have to do with Contractors?” You say, and Jack grins,

“Why, she’s a Contractor herself.”

You choke on your saliva and erupt into a coughing fit. 

“She’s a what?!” You gasp as soon as your hacking subsides. Jack shrugs, adjusting his violet tie.

“MI6 has reason to believe she’s a part of an enemy organization. We don’t know her power, only that she’s encoding messages in her knitting.” A jolt runs through you. 

Her knitting?

“But why give it to me?” You ask, almost scared of the answer. Jack glances out the window as buildings pass briefly before looking back to you. 

“To hide her messages? Who knows. But—”

A phone goes off, playing a jaunty little tune, and he whips out his cellular device.

“Talk to me.” He says, and you hear someone female speaking on the other end. Maybe April? She chatters on momentarily, with Jack humming to show he was listening. But it isn’t long before he hangs up and looks at you seriously. All traces of his sense of humor were gone. 

“It seems someone has broken into your apartment.”

Your apartment had been ransacked. 

The dining table was overturned, and the chairs were pushed up against the wall. Your bedroom had been ripped apart, and drawers from your dresser were thrown about. Hell, they had even gutted your mattress!

Al squeezed himself out from under your bedframe the second he heard your voice. He came yowling down the hall and cannonballed into your legs, causing you to stumble back against the ever-so-sturdy Jack Simon. He holds July’s hand as you scoop up Al and make your way into your abode in a daze. 

The remaining scarf is gone. 

As is your Nintendo Switch. 

And your journal. 

And probably something else, but you don’t care to check. How had no one heard the noise? The walls were thin enough that the floorboards creaking could be heard next door. 

April is already there as well. She looks at you sympathetically, pulling you into a one-sided hug.

“Don’t worry, love. We’ll find out who did this.” She says, and you snort. 

“It was Mrs. Ellis’s “enemy organization” wasn’t it?” You mumble, and April looks at Jack sharply. 

“Just how much did you tell her?” She inquired, and Jack shrugs, 

“She’s very persuasive.” That is all he says. 

July approaches you as Jack steps out to make a call, and you sink onto your gutted couch with Al still in your arms. Tears start to burn your eyelids, and you bury your face in Al’s fur as July begins to pet his head. 

“What do I do now? I can’t stay here, can I?” You mumble to April, who has taken a seat across from you, dragging one of the chairs over to sit down and cross one leg over the other. 

“Most likely not. That’s what Jack is calling about. We can house you at an MI6 safehouse in the area.” She said, and you nodded with a sniffle. 

At least you have that going for you. Jack comes back into your apartment and surveys the room. 

“The car is still waiting outside. Pack a bag.” He says, and it spurs you into action. 

You hand off Al to July, whose expression doesn’t change but seems happy to hold the overweight cat nonetheless. Then, you head to your destroyed bedroom and track down a duffel bag you had purchased when you swore you were going to start going to the gym. 

Ha, that didn’t last long. 

Clothes are stuffed in the bag, and you also pack some of Al’s toys and treats and pull out an unopened bag of food. It should last you a month or so. After all, you aren’t sure how long you’d be staying at this supposed safehouse. 

Al is corralled into his carrier and then, you are all loaded into the car and off to the next destination. 

Weeks pass. 

The safehouse is secure, and Al acclimates easily enough. He happily thunders through the halls after jingle balls that July tosses for him. However, you don’t acclimate as quickly. 

You’re left with nightmares of people breaking in to murder you, and the tiny little safehouse does nothing to quell your fears. It’s all cement walls and cold floors. Your room is barely big enough for a twin-size bed and a dresser. There’s a crack in the window that lets in the frigid air at night, and the dining table is barely big enough for the four of you.

Not that the four of you eat together or something. Both Contractors and July are rarely home. Well… that isn’t entirely true. Usually, April is home with you while Jack Simon is out doing who knows what with the Doll. 

April wouldn’t tell you what they were doing. She just said it was ‘reconnaissance’.

But things change three weeks into your little hiding stint. 

You look up from the book April had lent you as Jack and July come in through the front door. July looks as bored as ever but makes a beeline for Al, who perks up at the sight of his friend. Jack, however, seems stressed. He holds an envelope in his hand, running his other hand through his hair and mussing it up. 

It looks… really good like that.

“Any news?” April asks, and Jack simply tosses the envelope and collapses onto the sofa next to you, kicking his feet up in what seems like relief. His head leaned back, and you quickly looked back at your book before he could catch you staring.

“Read the envelope.” He grunted, exhaustion thick in his voice. April shrugs and opens the envelope. 

You set your book down in interest as her eyebrows shoot up, and she looks vaguely alarmed. Well, as alarmed as a Contractor can look, you suppose. 

“Is this real?” She asks, and Jack lolls his head to the side to look at his companion. 

“Took it right out of Ellis’s mailbox. So, unless they planted it—which there might be a chance of that—it’s real.” He said, and you held out a hesitant hand. 

“Can I see?” You ask, and April hands you the envelope and contents. 

You stare blankly at the glossy piece of parchment. It’s an… invitation? The paper is shiny and black, with neat writing in gold lettering. There’s a time, a place, and Mrs. Ellis’s name—which her first name is apparently Ava—all embossed on the front. 

It looked ridiculously expensive. 

“And this is important… Why?” You ask, confused and more than a little worried. Jack finally sits up and plants his feet on the floor,

“It’s a gala. And Ellis is likely to be there. But there’s an issue. And that’s because this organization—and Ellis by proxy—already knows April’s face, which is why she’s been here with you.” He said, rubbing a hand down his face. It was as if a lightbulb went off in your mind,

“So you don’t have a partner to get inside, do you?” You say, and Jack nods an affirmative. April pipes up then,

“She could go with you.” She says and gestures to you. You blink dumbly before it registers just what she has said. 

Go with Jack Simon to a gala?

“Absolutely not!” You and Jack say in unison, and it would’ve been funny had you not panicked at the idea. Though you are panicked likely for a different reason than Jack. April throws her hands up,

“She’s perfect! No one at this organization knows her face!” She tries, and you are already shaking your head. 

“Mrs. Ellis knows my face! Won’t she be there?” You say, and April visibly pauses before her shoulders slump.

Jack, however, seems to be considering the idea despite the outburst. You jab a finger at him in your panic,

“Absolutely not!”

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.” You grumble, fussing with the strands of hair hanging by your ears. The rest of your hair has been swept up into an elegant chignon at the back of your head. Jack reaches over and moves your hands away from your face.

“Stop touching it. You look stunning.” He says, and you have to turn your head to hide your embarrassment. 

He looks handsome, almost excessively so. Dressed in a pitch-black suit with a plum tie and matching pocket square, he might as well have been a statue at a museum for people to ogle at. You were dressed in a matching plum dress with a low back and cascaded to the floor of the car. The windows were tinted black as always, and you were pretty sure it was the same driver chauffeuring you everywhere. 

The two of you looked for all the world like a couple. 

“Have you arrived yet?” April’s voice crackles to life in your left ear, and it takes all your power not to flinch. She’s just outside the gala event with July, keeping an eye with the Doll’s spectre and the earpiece hidden masterfully in your ear. Jack wasn’t able to have one on account of his shorter hair, so it was up to you to relay any information he or she told you. 

“Not yet. Almost.” You said it, and it was then that the vehicle rolled to a stop. You looked out the window to see couples walking into a large building where the gala was supposedly held. 

You suddenly felt very underdressed despite your extravagant gown. 

Jack got out of the car first and extended a hand to you, which you took. His hands were smooth and cold as they always seemed to be. But he was strong and steady as a rock as you stood and settled your hand on his arm. He leaned down until his lips brushed your ear, 

“Smile, darling, we’re on camera.” He whispered, and you shivered. 

Did he know the effect he had on you? 

He had to. You were rubbish at hiding it. Hell, even April had picked up on it and teased you about your little (ginormous) crush when doing your hair. 

The two of you make it to the doorman, who accepts your (fake) invitation without any issues, and you are allowed inside. 

It’s very quickly that you have to refrain from gasping at the sheer size and magnificence of the interior. There’s a massive crystal chandelier in the center of the ceiling, surrounded by murals of angels and demons and everything in between. Couples are already mingling and dancing on the dance floor, and a small string orchestra is set up in the corner, playing soft music. There are tables with white tablecloths set up around the dance floor where more couples and potential donors are chatting.

Jack leads you to the dancefloor,

“Shall we dance?” He asks, and you can’t bring yourself to say no. 

But it isn’t long until you realize you are very out of your comfort zone. You step on Jack’s feet at least twice before he speaks to you again,

“Keep your eyes on me. Let me lead. There’s a good girl.” He murmurs, and you nod, keeping your eyes up and focused on his face. He offers you a charming grin that has your heart thundering in your chest. 

“The target has been spotted. She’s on the second floor.” Comes July’s voice in your ear, 

That was quick. 

You start gently steering Jack toward the spiral staircase leading up to the second floor. 

“July found Mrs. Ellis. She’s on the second floor.” You whisper to your dance partner, and he nods without a word, effortlessly taking the reigns of the dance until you leave the floor and make a subtle beeline for the staircase. But of course, you have to make it look natural, so you stop and socialize when the situation calls for it. 

“She’s headed toward the server room,” July says again. So, you relay that information to Jack, who takes the initiative and seems to know where he’s going. Or, at the very least, he’s walking with the confidence to make people believe he knows where he’s going. 

The server room is the third door on the right after rounding a corner in the maze of hallways. Your heels are thankfully muffled by the carpet, but you also have to keep a hand on Jack’s arm to keep from toppling over. 

“Why did April talk me into these death traps.” You mutter under your breath and hear Jack let out a breathy laugh,

“If it’s any consolation, you look lovely.” He replies, and you roll your eyes to hide how your heart has leaped into your throat.

“So you’ve said.”

Mrs. Ellis is hunched over a computer, typing at blinding speeds for a seventy-something-year-old woman. She’s dressed in a turtleneck gown with long sleeves and a thumb drive stuck into one of the servers, which looks very expensive. 

“I thought you’d have more tact than immediately heading to the server room,” Jack quipped from the entrance, and both you and Mrs. Ellis jumped. 

Why was he talking now?! Shouldn’t you have snuck up on her?!

“I danced with a few strapping young gentlemen!” She defended herself without turning and pressed a button. All the lights go out, and you can hear screams of surprise from downstairs. Mrs. Ellis turns and begins to glow blue.

So she was a Contractor…

What was her power? Her arm shoots to an impossibly long length and wraps around your throat, dragging you across the floor until she has you in a chokehold against her torso. Her other arm snatches the thumb drive and stuffs it down the front of her dress for safekeeping. 

“Elasticity. Now, that’s a Contract you don’t see every day.” Jack says, but you’ve spent enough time with him to hear the tightness in his voice. 

He’s worried about you.

He takes a step closer, and Mrs. Ellis’s arm tightens around your throat until you gasp for air. 

“Any closer, and I snap her neck.” Mrs. Ellis snarls, and Jack stops. You can see the lines around his eyes, illuminated by the lights of the blinking servers.

Then… He starts to glow… That pale blue glow with red glowing eyes that you now associated with all Contractors.

Right… You forgot he was a Contractor, too.

It seemed that Mrs. Ellis was not privy to this information because she backed up a bit, and you could hear the panic in her voice when she spoke next. He begins to walk forward and she is too panicked to follow through on her threat.

“Wait—Who are you?! Not the CIA?!” Jack grinned, and you cringed.

It looked so… sinister…

“Darling, I’m November 11 from MI6.” He said proudly, and by then, he was in front of you, grabbing ahold of her coiled arm around your neck. You watch as the skin darkens and frost creeps over the palm and fingers. 

It’s getting cold.

Freezing even.

Soon, you hear a wheezing, rattling gasp behind you, and Mrs. Ellis literally shatters into frozen pieces.

Well, that didn’t take long.

You all but collapse with a choked inhale into Jack Simon’s—or is it November 11?—arms. 

“Are you alright, love?” He asked, and you shook your head.

“I could’ve died. What do you think?” You snap, instantly feeling bad but also not caring.

He put you in danger.

You.

A civilian.

A regular human.

Someone who had a pet waiting for them at home.

Jack sighed, pulled you upright by wrapping a cold arm around your shoulders, and together, you started walking toward the server room exit. However, instead of bringing you back to the car, he took you to one of the balconies that dot the exterior of the second floor. You lean on the stone railing and rub at your still-tender throat. A cold breeze sweeps through the gardens, and you begin to tremble and cry.

You could have died.

What would’ve happened to Al had you actually died? Would he be given to the shelter? He wouldn’t be adopted. No one would want an overweight bobtail cat who was getting older and was as cantankerous as they came.

A suit jacket was draped over your shoulders, and you look over to see Jack, a lit cigarette between his lips and a sad sort of look on his face.

“I’m sorry.” He says around the cigarette, and you shrug,

“I agreed to this.” You reply, and he shakes his head,

“We more or less coerced you into it. And for that I’m sorry.” He says, and you give a watery laugh,

“Well then, I accept your apology. Thank you.”

The mission is wrapped up without any further issues. Jack, April, and July are summoned back to MI6 headquarters.  You were gifted a brand new apartment with a few months off rent as a thanks for your contributions and an apology for the danger you were put in. 

Part of you wonders if it’s Jack’s doing. You had a feeling that MI6 wasn’t usually this generous.

Either way, you weren’t complaining.

The trio is kind enough to help you move what’s left of your old apartment out of storage and into the new place. July isn’t much help, but he keeps Al occupied, and that’s all you could ask for.

“Will you be alright?” April asks as you heft the last box onto your newly assembled dining table. You turn and smile at her,

“I’ll be fine. Tell your boss thank you for all of this.” You say, and she cackles,

“You have Jack to thank for all of this. It was his idea.” She replies, and you blink.

So you were right! 

Jack peeks his head out of the new guest bedroom where he had been building a bed frame.

“Are you telling her all of my secrets?” He teases, and April sticks her tongue out,

“Only because we love you!” She chirps, and you choke on the water in your mouth.

Love huh?

You actually liked the sound of that.

April decides to track down Al and July, leaving you alone with Jack. You meander your way into the guest bedroom, where Jack is lifting the mattress onto the box spring on the bed frame.

“And done!” He says, wiping the sweat off his brow and turning to see you. You grin at him and reach forward boldly to squeeze his hand.

“Thank you. For everything, I mean. Keeping me safe. All of it.” You say, and he dips his head in what you like to imagine is embarrassment.

“Don’t mention it.” He replies and squeezes your hand back.

The room is silent after that, but you don’t let go, and neither does he.

At least… Until…

“I should really get going. We received another mission this morning, and our flight will leave soon.” He says and your smile drops into a sad sort of quirk of your lips.

“Keep in touch, yeah? Come visit when you’re in the area.” You try, and he huffed a laugh.

“Of course.” He says and lets go of your hand.

You hold Al as Jack Simon, July, and April get into the darkened car on the street. Jack paused before he got in, turned to look up where you were standing, and waved. You waved back as best you could with Al in your arms and smiled until they were out of sight. Then, with a sigh, you head back inside to get Al some dinner.

You only wished you knew you’d never see them again.

[rinleanne]

The thing about university and anxiety is that the second anything bad happens to you the homesickness comes creeping in.

You might lose your keys and lock yourself out. You might go on a night out and feel out of place. You might have an argument with someone you know. You might get lost, or not understand a module, or be unable to find the motivation for that one essay. Right now, im struggling to fall asleep.

And then everything becomes about the unfamiliarity of this place, this room, these people. If I was at home, I would know everything- my friends would be here, my bed would just sit right, I could walk down any street and know exactly how to get home. I never would have met that guy who lied to me if I had stayed in my small town where I know exactly who is to be trusted.

But I also never would have met my flatmates, who decorated the flat for my birthday barely knowing me. At home, I never would have been able to learn about my favourite thing in the world, surrounded by people just as passionate about it as me. If I’d stayed in my hometown for the rest of my life, I would never have seen the campus library at 3am, or the park behind my accommodation: how the flowers used to bloom before winter set in.

I would never have met the people I’m moving in with next year. I would never have felt these people comfort me when I cried, or laugh with me over the stupidest mistake. I would never have been able to walk across the beach with them complaining about the cold, or complaining about our assignments, or complaining about the price of coffee on campus.

The last few weeks I’ve been counting down the days until Christmas, when I can finally go home. This is when I can see the people who are safe, who are comfortable, who I have grown and changed and loved with for years. People I don’t have to explain anything to.

I suppose it’s easier for me to look back on them than see that I have so much farther to go, so many more mistakes to make. So many more beautiful things to see that when I look back, my hometown was only the start. I’m making this post to remind myself that I shouldn’t keep trying to run back to what I know, because if I had never made it this far, than I never would have known the happiness I find here.

[theweirdspacejellyfish]

weird af books

get in my swamp by g m fairy

summary: when liona stumbles upon beck, the ogres, trap and becomes his prisoner, shes determined to get away. but it doesnt take long for things to start heating up between the two. beck is trying to protect her, and liona cant help her bodys reaction to the buff green monster. the lines between captive and captor become blurry, and the passion becomes a raging fire neither of them put out

bad beehavior by g m fairy- bee movie romance

summary: a pollinator and a florist: a love that blooms across the galaxy. baryx embarks on a journey through the universe to repopulate his kind and save the planet earth. when he arrives, he takes on his smaller form, and a human male tries to swat him, almost killing him. jannessa, a sweet and gentle floriest, rescues him and nurtures him back to health. as baryx spends more time with her, he reveals his true identity, all while discovering new and forbidden emotions. torn between duty and desire, bee, as jannessa likes to call him, must choose: fulfill his mission or embrace a forbidden love with the woman who showed him the true meaning of passion beyond worlds

stuffed by sylvia morrow

summary: she thought she'd never be able to find a lover, but hes been in her bed for years. anime obsessed anne might be a fictophiliac, or she might just hate touch so much she'll never have sex. she doesnt really care about the difference as long as she has her favorite pillow to grind against when she needs physical relief. anne's favorite pillow is more than just a feather filled cotton sack -- hes alive but no one knows it. hot, pulsing magic weaves between his fibers each time she touchs him. all he wants is to be the man anne needs. soft. moldable. and ready to cater to her every desire. but when he has enough magic to become a man, will anne accept his eager touch? can flesh and fabric come together in erotic bliss? will more than one of them end up fully stuffed?

squeak by vera valentine

summary: a dedicated art student at her local community college, poppy practically lives inside her sketchbook. drawn to the distracted crowds of the local zoo, her planned day of anonymous figure-sketching is interrupted by the charming sebastian - and his brooding, borderline-rude friend keane. little does she know the two have a twisted secret that defies imagination - and the pressure on both of them is increasing by the day. as an intricate plan takes shape to secure their freedom, the twists and turns they face - and a pair of very intriguing knots- might just unwittingly tie poppy to both of them, forever

wet hot allosaurus by lola faust

morning glory milking farm by c m nascosta

frisky the snowman by lauren biel

the deviled egg made me do it by holly wilde

unhinged by vera valentine

bagged by the groceries! by fannie tucker

triceratops and bottoms by lola faust

how stego got his groove back by lola faust

don juan velociraptor by lola faust

all i want for christmas is utahraptor by lola faust

im in love with mothman by paige lavoie

im engaged to mothman by paige lavoie

railed by the easter bunny by dalia davies

railed by the krampus by dalia davies

[leyyvi]

L-ley here are my Levi and online dating thoughts. It’s long…

Like Hange got it for him as a joke for Christmas saying that hopefully he’d have a date for valentines. But when Valentine’s Day rolls around he’s not used it and he’s alone. He feels forlorn while he’s watching everyone (even fucking Eren) gush over their partners for the sickly sweet day so he’s pushed to try it. He gets matched pretty quickly with several people. You being one of them. He’s talking to everyone but no one’s really sticking out he keeps that up for a few days but nothing is really clicking for him. Just when he thinks he’s going to give up you ask to call. Rolling his eyes at his own foolishness for putting up with the idea but he agrees.

As you two talk he’s really shocked at how much he enjoys talking to you. It’s nothing crazy just about each other’s day but it’s nice to decompress a little after a crazy week. It’s not a long conversation either, only about 25 minutes. He’s had longer conference calls but he caught himself smiling, actually smiling more in his conversation with you then he had for awhile. So he renews the subscription for another month and he finds himself no longer trying to match with people or talking to others.

He releases all to quickly that he’s interested in you, finds himself eagerly waiting for your responses. Even responding in meetings that he really shouldn’t. When he sees the little bubble showing your online he’s opening the chat window.

You two want to meet up but conflicting schedules keep you two from getting too. It worries Levi because he’s found himself invested in you and he’s worried you’ll loose interest. He feels so odd because there is this air of familiarity between the two of you and yet your not his. But he is oh so yours. Your calls and text make his chest beat faster. You say his name and he needs to remember to breath. When you’ve asked his opinion on different clothes or jewelry he just feels his chest bloom with pride and as much as he hates to say it possessiveness. Because your not his. He is so painfully aware of that and he beats his head against the wall cause Erwin has him book back to back in business trips for the next month!

Then there is the growing fear that one of the millions of other men on the site will snatch you up before he can even meet you face to face. He can’t bring himself to talk to you about it but he makes sure to call you everyday he travels, even when it’s half a world away. Hopefully keeping this flame alive for you too.

The other issue that comes up is how desperately he wants you. He’s sure your aware of it with the way your selfies keep getting more and more daring. Teasing him. You’ve gone as far as sending him pictures of you in nothing but a cute little towel after a shower. Showing the plump curse of your ass sticking out. The way his cock throbbed for the rest of his meeting is more than distracting. He’s only able to recover after relieve himself in his office with your pictures in one hand and his cock in the other.

You’d often send a good morning selfie which were also getting more and more tantalizing. Showing more cleavage or your hard nipples through your night shirt and he even caught a glimpse of your bedside table open with a bright pink toy on display. The more time went on he felt like that was deliberate, meant to taunt him. He’s glared at the picture more times then he’d like to admit. 

CHRIS IM CRYING THESE ARE :((( THESE ARE SO CUTE

I can imagine Levi not being one to talk too much on the phone outside of work but with how easy it feels with you he doesn't have a problem with it. He gets so attached and ends up looking forward to your phone calls whenever either of you have free time ;;;

Ugh god the idea of him jerking off to your pictures is fucking sending me rn. He feels so perverted for doing it but it doesn't stop him. You keep teasing him and he knows you're doing it intentionally too.

The hard part is when YOU start asking for pictures and it takes him a while to work up the courage to do it. But the first few pictures he sends are kinda blurry yet he still looks REALLY good in them. On complete accident. He sent one after a long day at work, struggling to keep a neutral expression as the camera snaps a picture. He's kind of pouting and half-glaring at the camera with a slightly flushed face. But what really gets you is the fact that his shirt is unbuttoned a few buttons too low and it's offering a nice view of the rest of his chest and collarbones :')

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 19]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, powerbottom!seungcheol, brat!seungcheol, dom!reader, restraints(handcuffs), sex toys, dirty talk, degradation, dumbificiation, spitplay, yall the way i be using DDD like i’m guy fieri in this bitch ☠️ dkjfhdskh Also, merry christmas if you celebrate it!! Happy holidays!! Be safe, enjoy your day~💕 I’d say this is my gift to yall but I update every friday, I just so happen to be uploading on christmas LOL Although, Cherry Bomb has been a gift to write 🥺!! One more chapter after this, I can’t believe it... But also first chapter of DD next week 😳 Hehe~ as always, inbox roundup this weekend! Enjoy ch 19 and have a great weekend everyone!! ❤️🍒💕

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - x

“Hyung… Are you… Okay?”

Seungcheol drops the set of skates in his hold; eye twitching when he turns to face both Seokmin and Jeongguk who stare back at him with a concerned gaze. “You haven’t moved from this spot in the last 15 minutes, Jeongguk was starting to get worried… And honestly, me too. You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Or three.”

“I, uh, yeah, I’m good.” Seungcheol laughs it off, shaking his head and letting out a deep breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. “It’s just… Well, I don’t wanna spoil anything but I’m just nervous for tonight.” He bites his bottom lip, remembering when you’d posted the notice to your homepage that basically sealed in the plans you had for him and really, what he had in store for you too.

The two younger males share a look, eyebrows raised. “Whatever’s got you this nervous must be good ‘cause you literally just zoned out and turned into a mannequin for 15 minutes. It was weird!” Jeongguk laughs; half in nervousness for Seungcheol and half in amusement. “Me and Seokmin snapped a few pics too. For posterity.”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes before he picks up the pair of skates again, “Okay, okay, enough with the teasing. Get back to work before Namjoon-hyung sees us all over here!”

“We could say the same to you!”

“Interesting setup…” Seungcheol mutters, eyes glossing over the vibrator, pink fuzzy handcuffs, and cockring that are neatly lined up on the bed. “Should I be concerned that this looks a little too normal?”

You laugh under your breath as you readjust your bra strap one last time before easing onto the bed yourself; patting the spot next to you. “Nah, trust me, it’s not gonna be that crazy. Now c’mere, we only have 10 minutes ‘til we need to start and you’re just standing there fidgeting like we’re about to fuck for the first time ever.”

“Damn, we should’ve done a show with a corruption kink or something.”

“Hey, it’s never too late!”

artist8hao: this looks relatively normal considering the notice

kitty_junjun has donated $75

gc__koo: yea… and considering how i found hyung earlier

alphagyu97: ???

alphagyu97: wdym

gc__koo: mans was a statue 

xcaliburDK: yea it was weird, it was like he was possessed 

sleepy_wonu: wait u work with him too??

therealchan99: wait is that why u almost quit?

xcaliburDK: can we not talk about me right now thank u

universe_WZ has donated $75

angelhan has donated $100

artist8hao has donated $50

“Well! Aren’t you all a lively bunch tonight!” You giggle softly, wrapping an arm around one of Seungcheol’s as he tenses up under your touch. “Seungcheol’s so tense tonight! Can we get some words of encouragement for him before we start~”

gc__koo: ayyyy my man its gonna be ok

hoshi_tiger_xx: think of it this way, any of us would pay to be in your position rn

tangerine_kwan: l i t e r a l l y

chwenon: its not like ur getting pegged 

chwenon: right

Seungcheol’s cheeks bloom a bright pink, wide eyes meeting yours as you laugh loudly. “Wait, is that what the vibrator is for ‘cause I--”

“No, no, no! Seungcheol’s not getting pegged tonight, okay?” Grinning, you ease off the bed and make your way towards the nightstand as Seungcheol watches you from behind.

You grab the item, smiling as you hide it from Seungcheol’s view for a little while longer.

“See, when we, really just I, decided to do this back to back camshow for the last time, I really wanted to try something new, y’know? But nothing too far out there ‘cause I didn’t wanna push our boundaries too much.” You move your hand, flashing the object in front of Seungcheol’s face as he raises an eyebrow.

“A gopro?”

Nodding, you show it to the camera, “Mmhmm~ The quality is gonna go down a bit but I think it’ll be okay! It’ll be worth it~” You set it down next to the array of toys, winking at the camera before settling in next to Seungcheol again.

You lean into his side, grabbing his arm and putting it on your inner thigh as you moan. “Thought that they’d like a new view of us, y’know? Instead of just the static view that we usually have. Now you can film me riding your cock and get a good view of it for the camera~” Seungcheol smirks as he drags his hand up your thigh; fingertips grazing against your panties as you mewl.

“So that’s the game you wanna play tonight, huh, baby? You wanna film each other up close and personal for everyone to see?”

He can feel his cock twitch in his sweats, already eager to see where this went.

“Well…” You bite the inside of your cheek, face hot as you pry his hand off of you. “Actually, I want you up by the headboard while I set up this gopro. Think you can shimmy up there, ‘Cheol?”

The male nods slowly, shuffling towards the headboard as you turn to the camera. “The stream’s probably gonna cut out for a sec while I set this up but please be patient with me, okay?” Winking, you quickly set up the gopro before cutting out the stream to fiddle with the settings and changing it so that the stream was coming from the gopro instead.

“Ah, good! It works!” You make sure everyone can see you from the smaller device before you’re rejoining Seungcheol on the bed; eyes twinkling with mischief as you hand the gopro to him before reaching for the toys you’d laid out.

chwenon: im rly curious about this

universe_WZ: i know, same

alphagyu97: fuck the angles we’re about to get with this for future shows tho

hoshi_tiger_xx: oh hell yeah

Seungcheol holds onto the gopro, making sure to film you as you hold the vibrator in your hand. “Let’s start with this first, huh?” You don’t waste a second before you’re turning the toy on and pressing it against his clothed cock.

“Oh, s-shit!” He almost loses his grip on the small camera when his body threatens to double over at the vibrations that quickly have shivers running up his spine. “Oh fuck, that’s---that’s so s-strong!” Seungcheol’s hips cant up, grinding against the vibrations when he realizes how good it actually feels.

“Strong? It’s only the lowest setting, baby. Is your cock that sensitive?” You smile; voice laced with a teasing lilt and the pieces start to fall for Seungcheol when you seem to spit his own words back at him.

“That’s h-how it’s gonna be, huh?” He grits out, jaw clenched when you raise the setting to the second highest. “F-fuck, you---”

“What? We’re playing like I wanna tonight, right, ‘Cheollie?” Licking your lips, you lean in close to the camera before your lust filled eyes meet his.

“And tonight, you’re just my dumb little fucktoy that I get to play with, aren’t you?”

Seungcheol tugs against the fuzzy pink handcuffs that keep him bound to the headboard; gritting his teeth when you turn off the toy for the third time.

“Ah, ah, ah, don’t move around too much, Seungcheol. Dumb little fucktoys should be good and stay still, right?”

“Right.” Muttering, he watches as you bring the camera closer to his cock again, filming the vibrator that you tap against the cock head; both covered in precum.

“Your cock is already so hard~ God you’re so fuckin’ easy~” You squirm a little from where you straddle his thighs; already wanting to sit on his cock but also knowing you still wanted to play with him a little longer while you had him underneath you.

angelhan: goddamn she’s so fucking hot when shes the dom???

therealchan99: the way i would pay her to choke me and spit in my mouth

alphagyu97: she could put me on a leash and i’d bark without question

You turn on the toy again, pressing it against his cock as he groans and thrusts his hips up. “Ah! We should use the last toy, before you end up cumming without my permission.” Seungcheol lets out a choked sob at the way you sound so cheery, eyes looking up towards the ceiling while you set the vibrator down in favor of the cockring.

Wrapping a hand around his cock, you work you hand up and down as you smear the precum down his shaft. “Hmm~ Bet you’d cum right now if I just sucked you off, huh?”

“Dunno, why don’t you sink your pretty ‘lil mouth down on me and find out?” He snarkily replies.

You shoot him an angelic smile; one that makes him realize he really shouldn’t have said anything when you hurriedly ease the cockring down until it sits at the base of his cock. Grabbing the vibrator again, you turn it onto its highest setting before bringing it back to his cock and holding it parallel to his shaft. “You’re so mouthy~ You should really be careful with that~”

Seungcheol lets out a sharp, shaky breath; eyes wider than saucers when he feels his abdomen tightening and the pleasure rapidly building up in his body. “W-wait, but---but, ah, h-hold on, it--it feels like I’m g-gonna cum!” He tugs against his restraints as his entire body squirms and thrashes against the bed at the sensations that flood his body.

“Ah, you really are so fuckin’ easy for me, Seungcheol~”

A weird feeling washes over Seungcheol when he feels his cock twitching; mouth open in stuttered breaths as his eyebrows furrow. It felt like an orgasm, but at this point, he can’t even tell. “Wh--what?” He lets out a drawn out groan, throwing his head back against the pillows just as you shut the toy off and toss it to the side.

“I think you just experienced your first dry orgasm, huh? Not so fun being on the other side, is it? Being played with~” You laugh teasingly, readjusting yourself until you’re grinding down onto his cock. instead. “Mmh, I’m gonna use your cock and I’m gonna make myself cum and you can’t do anything about it~ Just my own personal fucktoy watching me get off~”

You take the gopro and set it down right on Seungcheol’s chest, “Don’t move, or else.” He nods once shakily, watching as you lift yourself up and position his cock right at your soaking entrance. 

The two of you share a moan once you finally start to sink down onto his cock but Seungcheol knows he won’t actually be able to cum anytime soon.

chwenon: they rly said VIEWS on this one

gc__koo: honestly, i aint even tryna get off i just like watching knowing hyung is lowkey suffering

gc__koo has donated $100

gc__koo: its like a reward

kitty_junjun: he’ll be lucky if he even gets to cum again lbr

sleepy_wonu: oh how the tables have turned huh?

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

tangerine_kwan: wait but…

tangerine_kwan: if today was her idea and tomorrow is his…

chwenon: uh oh

artist8hao: oh i didnt even think about that

artist8hao has donated $100

artist8hao: for the aftercare funds  

kitty_junjun: dont be too hard on her!!

kitty_junjun: also breakfast on me when ur not too tired

You start bouncing in his lap, loud moans on your lips when his cock curves perfectly into your g-spot.

“Oh, fuh--fuck, your cock is so g-good! Fuckin’ hits me so, hah, d-deep!”

Seungcheol can’t do anything but grit his teeth and let you alternate between bouncing on his lap and swiveling your hips atop his own; jaw clenched tight. “Y-yeah? Your so-called sex toy fucks you g-good? I don’t even have to, ah, do anything, all I have to do is lay here and you’d cum, huh?” He smirks up at you, convincing himself he’s one-upped you when you pout and halt your movements.

He lets out a soft groan when you clench around him and you’re quick to grab the gopro still sitting on his chest before turning the camera towards him.

“Such a bold mouth you’ve got. But don’t forget, you’re the one handcuffed to the bed and you’ve got a cockring on, baby~ I can give you more dry orgasms if you’d like?” You lick your lips, “Be a good little fucktoy and open your mouth for me.”

Seungcheol narrows his eyes before obeying, lips parting hesitantly. “Now, stick your tongue out.” You turn the camera and hold it from the side; filming yourself as you let a glob of spit fall from your lips, directly onto Seungcheol’s waiting tongue.

A shiver runs up his spine when he draws his tongue back in to swallow the saliva, hazy eyes staring back up at you when he parts his lips to show you that he’s swallowed it all down.

“See? You can be so obedient. You just choose to be a brat.”

“Where’s the fun if I make it easy for you? And it’s cute watching you trying to dom me when we both know how much you like being under me.”

You resume your movements, swiveling your hips as you set the gopro back down onto his chest. “Ah, all the things I could do to you right now, ‘Cheol~ We should do this again so I can try some wax play on you… Or, hah, m-maybe even ice play? Since your body is so fuckin’ sensitive. Bet you’d be so fuckin’ cute cumming over and over and whining when the overstimulation starts to bite~”

It only takes a second for Seungcheol to mentally say ‘screw it’ before he uses all his strength to plant his feet down onto the bed and start thrusting up into you. Your body jerks on top of him, surprised noises spilling from your lips at the strength he exerts in his frustration.

“My body’s sensitive? You take one look at me and your panties are fuckin’ soaked.” Seungcheol scoffs, watching as you grab the gopro and set it to the side before it topples off of him. “I might be your dumb little fucktoy today but you’re mine too. My dumb ‘lil cocksleeve that only knows how to beg me for cock. Your pussy was made for me, baby. Don’t forget that.”

The pleasure builds inside your body as you meet his thrusts and for a second, you contemplate taking off the handcuffs and the cockring, but instead deciding to keep them on. Unless he begged.

“Fuck, S--Seungcheol, ‘m g-gonna cum~” You reach down, fingertips on your clit as you hurry to throw yourself over the edge of an orgasm. “That’s right, cum on my cock like the desperate ‘lil cock hungry girl you are.” He growls in frustration; wanting to cum but knowing he wouldn’t be able to unless you took the cockring off.

“Oh god, Seungcheol!”

Your walls flutter around his cock and he lets out a garbled moan at how good you feel when you cum; exhaling harshly at the frustration of not being able to cum with you. “That’s right, bet it feels good with my cock inside your tight ‘lil cunt, huh?”

He halts his movements just as you opt to grind down on him, fingertips still rubbing and pinching at your clit as you ride out your high. “Mmh, bet you wanna cum too, don’t you, ‘Cheol? Wanna, ngh, fill my p-pussy up with your cum like you always do~ But do you even deserve it? Or should I leave you here and let you cool down?”

alphagyu97: the energy we’ve created in the studio tonight

xcaliburDK: i know, holy shit

angelhan: i feel like i'm actually scared for this man im ngl

alphagyu97: if she lets u cum ur a lucky man

You let out a sultry moan; body filled with warmth as the last bits of your orgasm wash over you. “You’ve been so mouthy and bratty but I wanna feel you cum too, so I’ll be nice tonight~”

Smart move, he thinks.

Raising yourself off of his cock, you let out a whimper at the emptiness you feel; pussy clenching around emptiness as you settle back down onto his thighs that are slick with your wetness. “Mmh… On second thought… Why don’t you beg a little? Lemme hear how much you wanna cum~”

He feels his cock twitch and realizes you won’t make this any easier. “Fuck, okay, p-please.... Please take the cockring off so I can cum… I--I wanna cum inside your pretty ‘lil cunt, fuck, I don’t even care if you just jerk me off just---just please take it off! I’ll t-take it easy on you tomorrow, I s-swear!” Seungcheol almost accidentally spoils his ideas for his planned camshow and he quickly bites his bottom lip before he accidentally says too much.

“That was weak but it’s okay. Dumb fucktoys don’t need to think much, do they? Only good for being used like a toy~”  You pout mockingly at him before you’re easing the cockring off of him and Seungcheol lets out a guttural moan when you immediately wrap a hand around his cock and start jerking him off.

“You weren’t very nice with your words tonight so you’ll cum with just my hand.”

“Fu--fuck, that’s fine, just let m-me cum, please!”  You work your hand up and down his shaft, giggling when you already feel his cock throbbing in your hand when you run your hand from the base to the tip.

“Cum for me, Seungcheol~”

He lets out a small whine, eyes clamped shut when he finally cums and for the first time in his life, he feels himself momentarily black out with how hard his orgasm hits him. Ropes of cum hit his chest as you work him through it, alternating the tightness of your grip on his cock as he whines and moans in return.

“Ah, you’re cumming so much this time~ You’re making such a mess!” You tease.

Seungcheol can barely hear a word you say through the ringing in his ears once his orgasm starts to ebb away and he feels himself slump against the bed as he catches his breath.

His chest rises and falls in deep breaths and he feels you leaning over him to undo the handcuffs; tired sighs on his lips as he tries to focus on you through bleary eyes. He can feel his entire body twitching and he swears his arms have. gone numb from being handcuffed to the headboard. “You’re gonna get it tomorrow, I swear…” He mutters, no real threat to his tired words. 

“Hey, you said you were gonna take it easy on me tomorrow!”

“Yeah, well...” 

tangerine_kwan: yo im excited to see the sequel to this

gc__koo: i have some… ideas

gc__koo: things r falling into place

gc__koo: my brain is expanding

hoshi_tiger_xx: i feel like its gonna be intense lol

xcaliburDK: knowing hyung…

xcaliburDK has donated $100

xcaliburDK: if u call into work on monday i wont even question it

“Here, you need to drink this, ‘Cheol!”

The said male groans as he tugs a pillow into his arms, already on the brink of sleeping when you finally end your camshow. “But ‘m tired…” He whines. “Can’t we just go to bed and clean up in the morning? The cum on my chest is already dried, it won’t get on the sheets.” You roll your eyes in return, sitting next to him on the bed.  

“Oh, so now you’re being a big baby? I’m just trying to get you to drink some water and we need to get you at least a little cleaned up for bed. You can’t go to bed like this, y’know. And anyway, we need to be in top condition for tomorrow show too. We gotta get cleaned up and eat a little something.” You laugh under your breath, shaking your head as he only whines harder. 

“C’mon, I always do it for you, right?”

He nods only once before he’s sitting up tiredly; a shaky hand reaching for the glass of water you hold out to him. You immediately take notice of the slight redness around his wrists, pouting as you help him finish the glass before setting it down onto the nightstand.

“Your wrists got so red from the handcuffs, ‘Cheol… You should’ve said something if it hurt, I would’ve taken them off…”

Seungcheol grins at you, eyes unfocused with sleepiness. “Who said it hurt? I didn’t even feel that in comparison to that horrible dry orgasm you made me experience. God, it was like… Like when you have a dream but it feels real until you try to grab for something and realize you can’t?”

The two of you share a laugh as you help Seungcheol off of the bed so that the two of you could properly get cleaned up before he flopped back down onto the sheets.

“Yeah? Trust me, that wasn't even the worst I could’ve done! You’re lucky I took it easy for my first time!”  

[fweasleyswhore]

Missing You - R.L.

based on this old ass request i realized i never did OOPS im so sorry

tags: @fredshmeasley @pandaxnienke

summary: Remus gets called out on a mission and after a night of passion and reader finds out they are pregnant while he is gone. 

word count: 2k

I stood behind him with my hands on his shoulders as he unwrapped the letter with shaky hands. He pulled the letter closer to his face, I played with his hair as he read the letter out of my view. Twirling the short brown hair at the nape of his neck I listened as he let out a sigh. Watching his hands as he twirled the letter in his hands before setting it down on the table, it immediately caught on fire. We watched in silence as it burst into flames, leaving a small pile of ash in its place. I moved from where I was standing, cleaning up the ash and discarding it. 

Remus didn’t move. Walking on tentative feet I stood in front of him. 

“Remus? What did it say?” I asked softly. He looked up, his eyes were glassy and his usual smile was missing. 

“We have another mission and, this one might, it’s going to be a long one.” His eyes didn’t meet me as he spoke, I reached out grabbing his hands. When his eyes found mine I saw how upset he was, I felt it too. Our three year anniversary was in two weeks, we had plans for a small dinner. I hid my disappointment and smiled shallowly. 

“Hey, it’s ok. The Order is important too.” He nodded and looked back down at our hands. 

“I don’t like leaving you in the dark, I don’t like living this uncertainty.” He swallowed thickly and squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry.” It barely came out as a whisper but I registered it. 

Kneeling in front of him I pulled my hand up to brush the tears away. His lips pressed into a thin line, eyes shut as he leaned into my touch. “Don’t apologize, Remus, you are doing what’s necessary, because of you we are going to get out of this.” He nodded but I knew he still felt guilty, the weight of my words nothing to the weight of his insecurity and racing thoughts. “Think about it a couple of years from now, when it’s safe, and you and me have a family, a couple of kids.” I watched as his face transformed from a pained expression into a happy one. 

“A couple?” He mused with a growing grin. I beamed up at him nodding eagerly. 

“When do you leave?” My voice was a lot quieter than it was seconds earlier, but I needed to know. 

“Tomorrow morning, we meet at an arranged place quarter after 6.” His words were slow and calculated and he gaged my expression, I made sure not to show the disappointment on my face. 

“I guess we better enjoy tonight then.” I quipped. He looked down at me with adoration, smiling through his pain. He let go of my hand, leaning down to place a gentle kiss on my head. I blushed at the small action, looking at him through my eyelashes I watched him. His hand cupped my cheek, the other brushed some hair away from my face. 

“I would like that darling.” I smiled and leaned into him, running my hands up his thighs as our lips connected. I danced my hand across his crotch and felt him groan into my mouth. Smiling, I continued to drag my fingers in a feather-light touch up and down his legs as our lips brushed together. 

I started to apply more pressure as I palmed him through his trousers causing him to pull away with heavy breaths. I looked up at him through my eyelashes not halting my movements as he looked at me hungrily. 

“Bedroom, now.” I shivered at his words, feeling excitement and arousal in my stomach, he let his more dominant side take over in the bedroom, it wasn’t a conscious decision but it was one I loved so much. 

On shaky legs I stood up, breaking eye contact with him when I turned, purposefully pausing and swaying my hips lightly before walking down the hall that led to our bedroom. 

“Let me write a response and then you have my full attention, I’ll be quick darling, wait for me.” He called after me. I tried to continue to push on towards the bedroom but I stopped letting the excitement take hold of my body. Turning over my shoulder I saw him, leaning back in his chair taking me in. 

“Hurry.” My voice was barely above a whisper but I knew he heard it so I turned back and walked to the bedroom. I tried not to be too hasty and let the excitement show but I would lie if I wasn’t saying there wasn’t a definite pep in my step. 

Making it to the bedroom I gently shut the door and ran a hand through my hair. An idea popped in my head as I began to strip. I sauntered over to the closet and pulled out a small black box, around the size of a shoebox. I pulled out a small piece of lingerie that I bought to use for the night of our anniversary. It was white and lacy, a bra, panties, and garter belt with two lacy garters included. Excitedly I squealed a little while I slipped off my clothes and slid into them. Still wanting to surprise him I grabbed one of his sweaters and pulled it over my head, it came down to my middle thighs, effectively hiding the garters. Smiling to myself I threw the bag away and sat down on the bed, I bobbed lightly due to throwing myself down on it so hard. I played with my hands while I waited for him to meet me in the bedroom. I dragged my nails up and down my thighs in anticipation, shivering slightly at the action trying to hold myself together. 

Soon enough I heard his quiet padding towards the door and my breathing sped up as I saw him walk through the door. He racked his eyes up and down my body, I watched his eyes as they took me in, crossing my legs and leaning back onto my elbows I spoke softly. “I was hoping you would do much more than look.” 

“Is that so darling?” He pushed himself off the doorframe where he was positioned, walking over to me like a predator would prey, his hands found my hips as he leaned down next to my ear. “In that case-” He cut himself off, pulling his sweater up my thighs he caught sight of my garters. He sucked in a deep breath, pulling the sweater higher he caught sight of the matching panties and I watched as his pupils dilated. 

“I bought them for our anniversary, but, figured now might be just as good,” I whispered a light laugh in my tone to hide the pain I felt realizing he would be gone. 

“You’re perfect.” Before I had time to thank him, much less process the words, his lips were on mine. The kiss was beautiful, passionate, slow, and methodical. Nudging his jaw forward he pushed me back onto the bed, I fell down and he followed, our lips never separating. He made quick work to rid me of my sweater pulling it of my head and throwing it across the room. 

He let out a long groan seeing the matching bra and was quick to rip it off of me. 

“You look so good in white,” He whispered whilst attacking my neck and chest with his mouth, leaving an array of marks I’m sure I’ll be looking back on in his absence. Once my neck and chest were littered with blooming red splotches which would soon turn purple he pulled back. The need in my core had grown exponentially, I was bucking against him searching for friction. 

“Slow down,” He said after another failed attempt to buck against him. I whined against his neck, pulling against his collar. 

“Off.” I mumbled, pulling again. He smirked, but pulled back and rid himself of his clothing until he stood bare in front of me. 

He dipped his head, positioning them between my thighs but I stopped him before he got there. “Everything ok love?” I nodded and pulled him to face me. 

“I just, I want you in me, now.” I said on his lips. He laughed half heartedly against mine before pushing his lips against mine. 

“As you wish love.” 

The room was filled with moans and soft whispers that were diminished to nothing as we laid together, tangled in the sheets and ourselves. 

When I woke up he was gone, feeling cold in our shared bed. Pacing around the room I found his sweater I wore last night and put it on, pulling it down my chest I saw at the hickeys flowering up and down my neck and chest. 

Each day that passed I missed him more, especially when I fell sick around two weeks after he was gone. I was throwing up each morning like my body was on a clock. Went for a check up at the healers and they had no medical answer, I didn’t have a bug or an infection but it kept happening. After a while and a few long chats with friends I decided to go to a muggle doctor. This was around one month in, when I noticed more problems as well as the sickness, foods I usually loved made me sick, I felt bloated, my breasts hurt long after Remus’ marks were gone. What fully pulled it together was when the muggle doctor confirmed the small voice in my head, the one that was telling me it was what I least expected. I was pregnant. 

Each day after I found out I longed for Remus more, especially when days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. 

Now, around three months into my pregnancy, I was putting up Christmas decorations. A few friends helped me install a tree considering I was starting to show and not very strong myself. The flat had a nice atmosphere to it, lights were up and decorations were strewn about it was starting to feel warmer despite the absence of Remus. 

That's when I heard a familiar pop. Whipping my head around there he was. Remus, his hair disheveled, bags in hands as well as under his eyes. He looked incredibly tired and my heart ached for him. 

Without much thought I ran to him, wrapping his tired frame in my arms. His reaction was immediate, enveloping me into his arms and holding me tight against his chest. All the worries that built up in the past few months left as I felt him against me, finally holding me against him. He pulled back enough to kiss me and I swear for the first time in a few months I felt ok again. 

“Are you ok?” I asked pulling back, I put my hand onto my stomach by instinct, a move that did not go unnoticed by him. 

“I-I’m fine, what are you-” He pointed to my stomach, I felt my nerves bubble up again. In all the months he was gone I didn’t think once about telling him. Kids were rarely talked about, we both agreed we liked the idea but now was no good. 

“Well um-”

“Are you pregnant?” He asked before I could explain. Looking at the floor I nodded, tears welling up in my eyes. Suddenly there was a thud and I snapped my eyes up to see Remus on his knees in front of me. “Marry me.” 

“What?” 

“Marry me, please. Let me the husband you deserve, let me help you raise our kids. Please Y/N.” 

I flashed him a grin, tearing up once more before pulling him up by his collar and kissing him. As we kissed his hands, travelled up my -his- sweater, and planted themselves over my barely there bump, it was something that didn’t go unnoticed by me, something that made a fire and sparks light up across my body. 

“So?” 

“Was that not an answer enough?” I laughed, he looked at me pleadingly. “Yes! Merlin you are annoying.”

“Oh, you love it.” He whispered, pulling me in he planted a kiss to my head. “I love you, you both.”

[notnctu]

under the mistletoe | l.ty

lee taeyong x fem!reader genre - fluff, barely humor idk, very little bit of angst details - enemies to lovers!au, childhood friends that have been apart, high school!au warnings - explicit language, one mention of death, there’s a kiss scene lol word count - 2.7k  synopsis - the holiday season brings a change of heart this year. you see your old friend, now enemy, Lee Taeyong at Mark’s Christmas gathering and through snowman shaped cookies, you two re-kindle your old friendship. 

a/n - this is for @neoculturechristmas​ ‘s secret santa collab! this piece is dedicated to @soliverse​ :) hello lovie!! i’m your secret santa!! i hope you like it and im sorry that it’s not funny LOL thank you for letting me participate in such a fun holiday collab! im so happy to be able to write a fic for another writer:)

Through the heavily crowded Christmas party, through the people that dare walk in your way, you still see him in the midst of the chaos. Lee Taeyong stands only a few feet from you, in a ridiculous Christmas sweater and messy frosty hair. The universe is absolutely obsessed with placing you two in uncomfortable situations, as if the fuming feud between you two is not enough.

His absentminded actions cause him to foolishly knock over someone’s drink, what a fucking clutz. Rolling your eyes, you wander off in search of your good friend to announce your departure for the night.

“Already? Y/N, you got here like, five minutes ago.” Mark mixes the glass bowl that is filled to the brim with red sugary punch. Any forceful spin will have it spilling from the rim, and that won’t be the only mishap of the night that you witness. “What’s the rush? It’s Christmas Eve!” 

And before you can utter the blacklisted name to explain your sudden change of heart, the culprit walks in with his stunned puppy eyes that grow sharp and a frown at your appearance. There is a small spark in the shared eye contact until it completely drops and he returns to ignoring your presence. 

“Mark, where are your napkins? I spilled something in your living room.” It had to be a whole year since you’ve last heard his voice and you still remember his low cadence whenever he was trying to be cool. Cool and mysterious Taeyong, and how he lives up so perfectly to his title. However, there was a moment in time that you knew him for more than that. He was warm and comforting Taeyong. 

While he tried so hard to be winter on the outside, spring bloomed blossoms on the inside and a bright sunshine radiated enough for you to witness its glow. You wished to stay with his spring for as long as you possibly could, but like the changing seasons, Taeyong eventually changed with it.

“It’s in the upper cabinet.” Mark does not realize the initial situation in the room, merrily going back to his large bowl of delicious liquid. It takes one big sigh from you for your friend to finally realize the elephant in the room and the unknowingly stiff tension in the kitchen. Mark’s eyes grow a bit bigger and as subtle as he tried to be, he clears his throat, “I think Christmas is all about joining together and being in each other’s company. Stay, Y/N.”

Mark did not choose his words wisely as Taeyong peeks over his shoulder, catching the last words of his sentence. “You’re leaving already, Y/N?” That is the first time he’s acknowledged you in the past few years.

There is an internal battle of whether or not you should acknowledge him back. Crossing your arms, you grumble something underneath your breath. “Why do you care?” 

“I don’t.” Taeyong says sternly, making sure he asserts his nonchalant attitude. “Just sucks that Mark threw such a happy Christmas party for his good friend to leave.” He slings an arm around Mark’s shoulders, snuggling his face into the side of Mark’s chocolate colored hair.

And Mark dares to show a small smile of affection back. “Sorry that Y/N is always walking out on things. She does that quite often.” Before you can give him a piece of your mind, Mark shoves a snowman shaped biscuit in your mouth. 

Taeyong gets away laughing, feeling an overwhelming sense of pride as he walks to clean up his other mess. You groan, biting the head of the snowman off and glaring at Mark. “Why did you let him get away with saying that to me? And when did you become friends with him again? And why are your cookies so hard?” 

“Taeyong lost a friend, like a month ago. Just be a bit empathetic, please.” Mark wipes his hands on his apron and continues kneading at a random ball of dough. If it’s one thing that Mark always does too well is overachieving at his holiday gatherings. There is a reason why he’s head of the Prom Committee and student officer for event planning at your high school.

Washing your hands, the cold water bites at your skin. It’s been a really cold winter this year. When you dry your hands off, you scoot Mark over to make room for yourself to help with his endless amount of holiday treats.

“We’ve all lost friends, Mark. Sometimes people don’t work out with others and that’s just how it goes.” There is an underlying bitterness that does not seem to fade when you speak. 

“Speaking from experience, maybe?” Mark chuckles, but dismisses the brief second of giggles to a more serious and low tone. “Not that kind of lost, Y/N. He lost a friend forever, like this person is in a forever sleep.” 

The moment the words hit the air, a chilly draft sweeps at your ankles and you freeze in your place. And as you stand with dry flour on your hands and a person you thought you’d never become warm to again stands in the next room over, your heart softens at the information and immediate guilt preoccupies your system. 

“Oh… well you should have started with that, then.” You slightly graze a finger across your nose at the faint tickle. Your mind is running at high speed, merely wondering about all the pain that Taeyong possibly felt this past month and remembering how it’s difficult for him to process his feelings. 

“He actually wasn’t going to come tonight, until I mentioned you were coming.” Mark unloads a batch of fresh cookies from the oven and replaces it with another tray. The aromatics take you back to Christmas many years ago and the memory of Taeyong getting frosting everywhere you could remember. It took weeks to get the red and green stains out of the carpet, but the laughter made up for every clumsy mistake. 

Not completely sure where the melancholic spirit erupted from, you rinse your hands and grab two cookies off the still hot tray without another response. Hurrying off, Mark yells out, “Wait-- those aren’t decorated yet!” but you choose to ignore his pleas.

Why is it harder to find him in a crowd when you are actually looking for him? Perhaps the saying, the best things in life come when you’re not looking for them, holds some truth to it. But your feet take you directly to him; he sits at the leather couch with the burning embers from the fireplace reflecting in his eyes. 

Your abrupt appearance startles him a bit, but his face falls sullen when he sees that it’s you. Shoulders touching, you’ve missed the intimacy you two use to share. The blank snowman shaped cookie feels warm in your hand as you thrust it into Taeyong’s face. “For you.” 

Taeyong scoffs, pushing your hand away lightly and looking away from the pitiful undecorated treat. “This feels like a trap.”

“No trap. Just a truce. Remember the time when I got upset at you for forgetting me in the parking lot and I told you the only way to fix it was to buy me food?” Your hand begins to drop, but Taeyong catches your wrist and takes the cookie from your possession. He gently places your hand back onto your lap.

“I know no other love language.” You explain the reasoning behind the old memory. 

“Pretty sure food isn’t a love language.” Taeyong chuckles, like Christmas carols to your ears, he sounds like home. 

“It’s not, but they all require me to be too emotionally vulnerable and you know how that makes me feel…” Your voice unintentionally trails off the end of your sentence. Does he still know how you feel? 

Taeyong’s eyebrow raises subtly, catching your implication. “You’re still the same person you were three years ago?”

Three years, has it really been that long? You nod without needing to ponder the thought. There is a stark difference between change and growth. You are who you’ve always been, that is never going to change, but you’ve grown to be stronger and a little more independent.

“That’s not surprising.” Taeyong bites at his cookie, turning the figure in his hands as he stares off to reminisce about the past. He thinks about his pain. He thinks about his own self growth. “I’ve been thinking about you recently.” 

The bold comment causes your chest to burn and your throat to grow a bit dry. Taeyong finally looks up at you, eyes dropping between your own and your lips. He doesn’t shy away from staring, taking in how much you’ve changed appearance wise since you two used to be friends. His eyelashes dance against his skin every time he blinked and the white strands of his hair fall around his crown like snowflakes. 

“Why?” 

“I learned how important it is to have friends around you. You never know when you’ll never see them again. The falling out we had should not have ruined the friendship we built for so long.” It’s difficult for Taeyong to continue with his feelings. It’s not a secret that he’s liked you since you two were close, probably half of the room is well aware of it. But there has never been a moment where he was out right too vulnerable to you, he was and is afraid of showing his feelings. 

It’s an immediate body reaction when Taeyong leans in to you and you defensively back away. The confusion shows on your face very blatantly and his dreamy laugh rattles your bones. Taeyong’s hand softly caresses your cheek as his thumb brushes the tip of your nose. “You have some flour on your face.” This skin to skin leaves you speechless as his hot hand holds your cheek so delicately, making your heart race rapidly.

“Your Christmas sweater is ugly.” That’s all you can utter, out of pure panic too. Your eyes dip away and he retracts away from you, elbows on his knees as he leans forward and ducking momentarily to examine his choice of festive clothing. 

He laughs, “it’s called an ugly Christmas sweater for a reason. It’s better than wearing a lame red sweater and calling it festive.” It’s surreal how quick things settle back into being the way that it used to be. As if the last three years of silence and constantly pretending the other didn’t exist disappeared. Taeyong is back, he’s yours again. And you hope that he’ll be by your side for longer than you had let him go.

“Red is not my color, I agree, but green is definitely not yours.” You joke back and Taeyong ruffles your hair, just like old times. The holiday spirit practically wraps its arms around you two. The holidays are really about being in each other’s warmth. In this very cold winter, you’re happy to have found an old flame that kept you from frostbite for many years. 

“Y/N, we’re putting up the mistletoe.” An acquaintance interrupts you and Taeyong, quickly grabbing your arm to follow her. Your eyes dart between her and Taeyong. One thing you know no doubt about is that you aren’t leaving Taeyong alone again, so you take his hand without another second thought and drag him along with you.

You’re all ushered into the foyer and Mark is on a step ladder under the frame of his door. He notes Taeyong by your side and discreetly smiles to himself. He securely pins it to the wall and claps his hands together to gather everyone’s attention. “We’re going to blindfold two people and they’re going to have to kiss underneath the mistletoe.” 

Your hands grow sweaty at the thought of such a risky game and immediately, you two let go of each other’s hands without realizing the clutching feeling of each other’s anxiousness. “I don’t think I’ll be chosen.” Taeyong mumbles to you as Mark and a few other people unravel the blindfolds. Nevertheless, he doesn’t sound very confident and you notice Taeyong’s shifty eyes. 

“Right. Me either.” You shrug off, trying to hide slightly behind Taeyong’s stature. However, Taeyong instantly catches the uncertainty in your voice as well. 

“Aren’t there four couples in the room?” Taeyong whispers over his shoulder at you.

Crossing your arms, you roll your eyes at his obvious thinking. “Yeah, but Mark isn’t going to choose a couple to kiss. How boring.” 

Taeyong chuckles out of disbelief at your comment. “I’ll volunteer you if you want to really spice things up.” 

And your eyes grow wide at his mischievous suggestion, pinching at his arm lightly. Underneath the fleece, Taeyong feels sturdy and strong. It’s only another reminder that you two aren’t kids anymore. “Lee Taeyong, do not. I don’t want to kiss anyone in this room.” That might’ve been a lie, even if you didn’t want to admit it to yourself that you are just a little curious how Taeyong might have matured. 

“Everyone close your eyes.” Mark excitedly smiles and everyone obliges. You gulp the pooled saliva in your mouth, trying to manifest every possible hope that you aren’t chosen in this room of twenty people. Mark wouldn’t screw you over like that, would he? The more you pondered that thought, the more you believe that he totally would.

Then, you feel a hand on your arm and you’re being guided somewhere. A cloth covers your eyes and you’re quick to snarl, “Mark Lee, this is your only Christmas present. You get no more favors from me.” your cadence is only loud enough for him to hear and though you’re robbed of your sight, Mark’s boyish laughter says enough about his enlightened facial expression.

“This is what you get for trying to leave five minutes into my extravagant party I tried so hard to put on.” Mark sarcastically comments and pats your shoulders for a last indication of reassurance.

You hear footsteps in front of you and an uncanny presence of another in your close proximity. “Okay, everyone can open their eyes.” Mark cheers and it’s not like you can see much through the dark cloth that covers your eyes, but yours open anyways.

Gasps fill the room, slight hollering and cheering. The reactions cause an unsettling stir in your lower stomach. “Kiss!” and before you know it, the unknown person searches for your face and cups it gingerly. The feeling being very familiar to a scene before.

The both of you lean in and it’s difficult with the lack of sight, but people kiss with their eyes closed right? It’s not your first kiss, but also the sense deprivation is something different. When you tilt your head and go in for it, your noses bump together clumsily. You’re slightly embarrassed, your heart is leaping out of your chest from the sudden display of affection and you’re strangling Mark in your imagination.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper, but there isn’t a response back. Instead, your partner dives in without any trace of struggle. Their lips glide perfectly with yours and it’s almost like you’re kissing snow. Any form of awkwardness melts away; their hand on your cheek feels natural and comforting. Your heart yearns for this sense of security as the same warmth from the fireplace embodies your chest. 

When you two pull away, the room bursts into a loud chaos of cheers. Before you can take off your blindfold, you can feel everyone running toward the both of you to give you excited pats on your head and arm. 

“I can’t believe that just happened!” Your friend’s voice can be heard in your ear. As you lift off the cloth, you see him in the midst of the chaos. Through the heavy dog pile of overly joyous people, Lee Taeyong stands a few feet from you in his ugly Christmas sweater, messy frosty hair and a pink hue across his pale cheeks. 

He looks over at you and shyly smiles. “Hopefully that spiced things enough for you. Happy Holidays, Y/N.” He can barely process everyone else's excitement, but he feels joyous for once. After a long cold bitter winter, he feels warm. 

“Happy Holidays, you big goof. Good to have you back.” You push at his arm, laughing happily at the ridiculously wide smile he has on his face. You’re glad to see Taeyong smile again. 

[kindlespice]

late ass replies but this time i have so much stuff to reply to that i actually need to split things up into categories :))))

also i apologize if any of this is no longer relevant / i am of absolutely no help :)))

otherwise, if you’ve asked a reshade related question...uh... sometime between christmas and now LMAO then it’s probably here!

nonny :

Hello Mikayla, I hope you're having a lovely year so far. I just wanted to ask this about the dove preshade (1st question here) kindlespice/tumblr/com/post/632163463099269120/ft-reshade-questions-a-theme-question-nonny i'm having the same problem, i have a new computer and after installing the game and it's last 3 updates and then the reshade it's not looking the same and it sucks bc i know how it's supposed to look (1)

the shadows are not as noticeable, the transparency between the walls is not there and the blur is gone (i have miiko´s ghibli's cloud override but i had that on my old computer and the reshade still looked normal) idk if it's the game or the reshade but it sucks bc i love how the original looks like anyways it would be really helpfull if you could answer. Take care and stay safe :))!!! (2/2)

hi hi! thanks for the kind message and i hope your year is going well! if I had to take a guess, I would say that maybe some of your settings in-game have changed? I would double check and make sure you’ve got edge smoothing off, and you could try turning off post-processing as well (im not ACTUALLY sure if turning off post processing does anything but it’s worth a shot!) otherwise i would try removing the preset and redownloading it? maybe the settings of the preset got jacked up and you can fix it by re-installing. let me know if this helps! if not, then you can always dm me so i can see pics of your situation!

nonny:

Hi! Sorry if this is worded odd but I just downloaded your Leif reshade and have completed all the steps, however there is still this blur over the screen which isn't the best for game play. If you could help explain how to toggle it for gameplay/cas that would be great :)

hi hi! the blur is the DoF (depth-of-field). it’s used for taking screenshots and is supposed to make the background all blurry. to disable it, you can use the hotkey shift-2 or open the reshade menu and manually untick the DoF option!

nonny:

Hi, i just installed the latest version of the dove preset and my game is dark. It is the MXAO that is doing it but i don't have the preprocessor definitions box. How do i fix it?

hello! im assuming you have a 4.0 version of reshade if you can’t find the box. in this version, it’s a blue tab called “Edit Global Preprocessor Definitions” beneath all the toggleable effects. if you have an earlier version, it should be under the “settings” tab at the top though.

nonny:

Hello!! Thank you so much for your work! I have a really quick question - so I am trying to work with the reshade and got it all set but when I play around with it, my objects don’t look “rounded”. If that makes sense. Other people who use it, their objects look rounded and smooth and just different (I have an image for reference) but mine just looks like the normal objects just different colors. Is there something I’m missing or doing something wrong? I have all the settings correct. :)

hi hi! hmm, im not really sure what that could be... probably something to do with mxao bc it’s always something to do with mxao lol. I would double check to make sure you have this line in your preprocessor definitions: RESHADE_DEPTH_INPUT_IS_REVERSED = 0 this line should equal 0 for the mxao to work properly. that might give you the “rounded” look. if this doesn’t fix it for you then you should go ahead and dm me so i can see what the game looks like!

nonny:

Hey, I tried your Dove preset but my game just can't handle it, it's pretty old and I just have to uninstall the reshade (even though I really loved the effect) but I'm scared to do anything in the Game folder or delete anything. Could you please help me with what to remove? I'm scared to break my game if I delete something that souldn't be deleted :( I tried searching for this in your WCIF and reshade questions and couldn't find an answear. Please help

hello! sorry to hear that your game can’t handle the preset :( here’s to hoping you can get an upgrade in the future! anyhow, to uninstall; i believe you only need to remove 

ReShade - config settings (it’ll have a little paper w/ gear next to it)

d3d9.dll - application extension  (it’ll have a little paper w/ gears ON it)

d3d9 - text document (little paper w/ lines icon)

reshade-shaders - folder

your reshade presets - config settings (if you remove the files above first though, you won’t be able to use/see these in-game)

that should uninstall reshade from your game! and don’t worry, if you accidentally remove something you didn’t want to, you can “verify your game files” through origin and that should restore any missing files. unless you.. *ahem*... acquired your game through other means... in which case be careful XD

@maddybarbz

Omg I don't know if you are active or not but I'm having some problems. So I downloaded the 3.0.8 and it was going smoothly but I loaded the game it said that magic bloom had issues.

i don’t know if im active either. probably not tbh XD but im here now so here ya go! i would recommend deleting the shaders you’re having problems with and then putting back the 3.0.8 shaders you downloaded. it’s really easy for things to break / be incompatible during the install so your best bet is always to delete the ones giving you trouble and put the new ones in.

@kaiamikulka

hi! I’ve been jealously stalking your page for a while, because I’m in love with the dove preset, but I’m very confused about how to download it. My computer keeps marking it as a virus, so i was kinda scared to download it. and when i finally did, it didn’t show up in my game. could you walk me through how to download it?(i have a pc laptop)

Thank you so much,

Kaia☺️☺️❤️❤️❤️

hi hi! lol im flattered for the jealousy stalk! anyway im not sure why it wouldn’t be showing up in game? unless you were so excited that you forgot to install reshade with it? i have a video here explaining how to install a recent version of reshade and set up dove with it so you can check that out here !

@bojanastarcevic​

Hello, I've been trying to fix the dove reshade for a long time, but the new version just doesn't support it, and the old version spoils the game and sometimes it won't even start ... Would you consider trying to make the same preset version for the latest reshade version? I'll be very grateful because your preset is the most beautiful I have ever seen?! 😘😂Don't know if you still play of work on your game but like I said if you have time to try make new one couse everyone was looking for it!!! 😉😘😘😘

hi hi! i totally understand not using the earlier versions--these later ones are soo much more user friendly!--but i’ve been able to get the preset to work with later versions (4.7.0 is the latest i’ve tried though) and it looks, if not the same, then very close to the original. I have a video here explaining how i did it if you’re really eager to have it

in the future i guess i could try to re-release the preset? i can’t give you an eta bc im lazy and i fall off the face of the earth regularly, but i do think it would help to have updated instructions right on the face of the download. 

[moonguilt]

please give me more kl headcanons.😔

OKAY people this got WAY out of hand and i wrote 7 pages of an entire au plotline so uh. sorry everybody but it’s gonna be split into at least a couple different postswe’ll call this CHAPTER 1: (chapter 2 can be found HERE)I roleplay on MMORPGs so you’re gonna have to deal with my self indulgent online roleplaying AU. There will be klance but I have to SET THE STAGE first so bear with me. basically this is just multiplayer online video game roleplaying garbage. on that note, enjoy.

hunk and pidge were the first ones to discover the video game “Voltron.” they dicked around on it just to test out the game controls and perhaps get coding ideas for a game they are trying to create, but they ended up kinda enjoying it. the gameplay has its issues but is overall pretty fluid.

hunk plays a rogue. he has to turn the game volume down sometimes because of the gross gorey noises the game makes when he stabs people. he probably would have rerolled as a different class just to escape the gruesome sound effects, but he really likes being able to enter stealth. he says it makes him feel “safe”

pidge plays a mage. hunk is under the impression that it’s because she wants to play a class with high intelligence points, and pidge doesn’t correct him. but really she just likes the idea of turning her enemies into frogs

shiro is hanging out with matt one day and ends up watching pidge play. he wants to be Hip and Cool so he decides to create a trial account and see if he likes it. turns out, he’s TERRIBLE at the actual gameplay (his computer reflexes are Bad and he keeps dying to basic mechanics on literally every boss fight. matt downloads the game and creates a priest out of pity just to help keep shiro alive while he levels)

“this is demeaning for everyone involved”

“you’re the one who has died seven times now to haxus. literally all you have to do is not stand in the fire. you’re a FULLY ARMORED PALADIN TANK how are you dying so quic—wait a minute. shiro. shiro why are you still wearing your level 1 starting gear.”

however, he finds out that the server they’re playing on has a roleplaying community! he figures he doesnt need swift reflexes to roleplay, so he starts dipping his toe into RP and discovers he really likes it. he enjoys writing stories about his heroic character, and enjoys combining those stories with the stories of other people he meets in the game. it’s like collaborative fantasy fiction writing, and it quickly becomes a passion of his

pidge and matt tease him endlessly for it. hunk is an angel and is very supportive of shiro’s new hobby. he is the only one who will listen to shiro gush about his character. unfortunately when shiro designed the character, he did not have a good grasp on roleplay, so the character is goofy looking and has an overly dramatic backstory involving dragons and a lost royal bloodline. hunk kindly chooses not to comment on it, and instead helps him develop new ideas and plots for his character’s adventures

eventually shiro manages to convince hunk to give RP a try. hunk is very careful and does a lot of research on the Voltron universe lore. he reads all the fanmade wiki pages, roleplaying guides on the game forums, etc., until he feels confident he can create a good character. he does (and eventually goes on to be a popular community figure who hosts huge server events and is friends with literally everyone, but that is several months down the line), and he and shiro begin their roleplaying adventures together

hunk gets Really Into It. fast. like faster than shiro. and he takes it SERIOUSLY; he is a total lore nerd & WILL tell you (in a very gentle, caring tone) if your character’s story/actions do not comply with the game’s established lore

“your character’s outfit is so cool! btw tho, I noticed you mentioned your character was born in the castle of lions—just wanted to let you know, it was actually only rediscovered and unlocked about 10 years ago in the game’s timeline, so it wouldn’t really make work for your character to be born there, since they’re 27 D: but if you want I can help you come up with a different birthplace :)”

keith, lance, and allura had thus far managed to resist the voltron bug. they just aren’t into mmorpg stuff, they insist. single-player games, sure, but open-world multi-player? sounds weird

lance falls first. Hunk hits him with the puppy dog eyes and its all over for him

he creates the most ridiculously beautiful character he can

“i dont care about whether my guy is a freaking dps or not, hunk, i need him to have an ass like a kardashian. WHERE IS THE BUTT SLIDER HUNK. i have a NICE ASS and i want it IMMORTALIZED IN PIXEL FORM”

he does, in fact, end up picking dps. hunk shows him the archer class and he lights up like a christmas tree

“i know you always wanted to bone legolas, so”

“i wanted to BE legolas, not BONE him, HUNK”

“sure lance”

allura falls next. her and lance’s weekly “self-care spa sessions” turn into lance rambling about all the wacky stuff he and hunk and shiro got up to that week, and she eventually cracks under the pressure because she Hates when there’s a new fad and she doesn’t understand it

“and then this guy came up to us and started roleplaying with us in ALL LOWER CASE and shiro and i wanted to d i e but hunk was all ‘nooo he’s just a newbie in need of some pointers’ and then spent the next TWENTY FREAKING MINUTES giving this guy tips and tricks about grammar and punctuation–”

within 2 days she has gotten almost halfway through leveling her new druid healer because she is Determined damn it

coran, allura’s uncle, also begins playing shortly thereafter. allura never says why exactly, but it does seem to be a direct result of her influence somehow. he plays a gunslinger class because he’s “always wanted to be a ‘rooting & tooting cowboy,’ as you call it!”

for whatever reason, he is Very Good at the game, like freakishly skilled. everyone is kind of afraid to question it so they just accept it and move on

he and pidge are really the only ones who are focusing on the actual game content anymore, so they start doing high-level raids together and then begin to gain something of a reputation as a terrifying duo in player-versus-player combat.

keith is resilient. he is a notoriously stubborn boy and no amount of puppy dog eyes from hunk or persuasive lectures from shiro will convince him to step outside his comfort zone

but lance, well. lance knows exactly how to get keith to do what he wants

“i bet you just know my character’s way cooler than yours would be”

“?? no. i literally dont care about your character or anybody else's”

“huh. guess i will just always be better at video games than you”

“are you seriously still trying to hold your killbot phantasm score over my head. you got lucky”

“i am the peerless king of video games–”

“are you listening to yourself. do you actually hear the words coming from your mouth.”

“–undefeated because you are too much of a coward–”

“fuck OFF send me the fucking download link you loudmouth”

keith takes. forever. to design his character.

lance is leaning over the back of keith’s chair, giving outrageous suggestions (and blatant lies) that keith pointedly ignores

“keith. keith if you give him neon orange hair it boosts your speed, did you know that?”

“choosing big ears gives you greater perception stats keith”

“keith listen to me, you gain the ability to breathe underwater if you choose a broken nose—OW, what the hell–”

keith takes SO LONG that eventually lance has to leave for dance lessons and when he gets back keith is only JUST finishing up

turns out he took so long because he wanted to use every resource available in the game to make the character look like a carbon copy of himself. the end result would have been impressive if it wasn’t so eerily accurate

“you’re seriously naming him keith kogane.”

“it’s my name!”

“keith it’s a ROLEPLAYING game. you’re supposed to play a ROLE”

“and my role is keith kogane.”

“that doesnt even fit the naming conventions for the humans in this game! hunk would be having a FIT right now if he was here”

“good thing he’s not”

keith selects the warrior class because, as lance repeatedly and petulantly insists, he is a “boring basic bitch fuckboy”

“im the fuckboy?? thats rich coming from a guy who plays an archer because he has a big fat crush on orlando bloom in a blond wig”

“HUNK is spreading LIES okay I do NOT have a cru–”

“i dont know what you see in him. he’s literally just a white lotor”

“you TAKE THAT BACK”

to be continued :)

[wispy-selfship-eden]

Yuletide Preparations - 2 (Final)

 May I present to all of you a follow up to Part 1! Enjoy! Funny how I get more into the spirit the more I write about trying to celebrate the holidays lol.

This one will definitely be longer because I can’t control myself ;; and its time for the ball and im rushing my dead ass to get things done.

I’ll definitely do more and involve more of my F/Os when I announce my own takeover! ><

@nougatships​ , bless you for making such a wonderful event. Thank you so so much!! ^^ And thanks to everyone else for being apart of this c: I can’t wait to see others at the party.

Featuring:

Mai - SI/Myself

Fuuma Kotarou, Katou Danzo, Nursery Rhyme, Elizabeth Bathory, and Abigail Williams - Fate/Grand Order

Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd - Fire Emblem Three Houses

Finnian - Black Butler

and many more to come!

Work count: 3.3k

---

“Please, Mai~?”

Mai sighs at the puppy dog eyes being directed at her. With the addition of her more cutie patootie boyfriends like Finnian, this continuing persuasion was starting to wear down some of her defenses.

“No, Finny…”

“What?!” His hands clasped her shoulders as he looks at her worriedly. “But why not?! I was looking forward to twirling you around like a princess at the ball!”

His eyes seemed watery as he fired questions left and right.

“Did someone say anything mean to you?! They probably don’t even know you! You’re always so beautiful day in and day out Ma—”

“Okay!! Okay Finnian, thank you! That’s really enough. Really,” Mai slaps one hand over his face in order to cover her reddening one with her other.

“Goodness gracious—if you keep this up, I won’t even be able to make it to the ball. I’ll be confined to my bed due to passing out from internal combustion.”

Finnian hesitantly let go on her insistence. But the small smile and giggle in response to his actions didn’t lighten up the twang in his heart.

Truth to be told, ever since the other night when the girls had tried on their dresses Mai has been a bit off.

Sure she’s used to putting on a brave facade when life gets rough, but this is winter break. She hasn’t worried about anything for a week… until the flyer was delivered to their doorstep, taped onto the front.

Others may have noticed, but for Finnian to see the proof in front of him…

Exhaling softly, he took Mai by the hand and sat them down on the couch. The girls were out shopping for christmas decorations for the home. The others were handling early christmas greetings with their families, or just going out to observe the holiday ambiance in public.

They were the only ones there, and the silence was overwhelming. 

“Are you not happy going, poppy?...” He asks quietly, turquoise eyes wide with concern.

Mai’s naturally hunched shoulders seemed to shrink in. She didn’t look up from the tabletop as she took deep breaths.

“It’s not that… I’m not excited or happy it’s just—”

There wasn’t a proper way to describe what she was feeling. Maybe her feelings were trivial and she should know the answers to her problems, but there was always doubt. Especially considering she’s begun to understand how it feels having these issues that she hears from others.

“FInnian… do you really think I’m… pretty?” Mai murmurs.

“You are!” He answers readily.

“Finnian, that is way too fast for an answer.” It incited a raised brow from her, along with an amused smile.

“But it’s the truth!” Sandwiching her hand between his own, he jostled it as he cheerfully proclaims, “In fact, not a day goes by where I would think otherwise. How could I?! I’m about as right as rain every day I get to see you!” If Mai had the ability to physically blush, she would be a steaming kettle at the moment.

“Finny now you’re just exaggerating,” she modestly remarks, smiling crookedly.

“Oh I’m not! Because when we all get there, you’re still going to be the most beautiful flower I get the honor of being with. Everyone else can and will say the exact same thing!”

It’s just a shame the fluttering sensation she would get after such reassurances were very, very brief. The doubt still gnaws at her heart.

“... Thank you. You’re always so sweet,” Mai leans in and embraces him intimately, cradling him as she buries her face in his hair.

A muffled giggle bloomed on her chest. “That tickles, flower.”

“Good! I’m glad I can make you laugh somehow.”

His hugs are always so wonderful. Warm like sunshine gracing itself to her.

But that wasn’t enough to completely blind her from the fact that a shopping bag still lay untouched in her closet.

When everyone else got home, Finnian had to rush back to his original home. He said that he would meet up with her at the ball for sure. 

Because his face would be the first thing she sees inside, he promised.

She held him up to it, but this anticipation did not sit well with her growing anxieties.

Before she knew it, it was already the next day. It was going to be hours before the ball would start, but time couldn’t be any swifter. It was, as usual, unwarranted.

But enough about her. She has to distract herself with focusing on the others. She feels a lot better in the end knowing they’ll be happy.

“Dimitri!” 

“Oh! Beloved,” His smile brightened up at seeing her rush down the hallway to him.

They exchanged an intimate hug before she pulled back and let out a low whistle, much to his sheepishness.

“Wow, look at you!~” Laughing lightly, Dimitri shook his head as he hung up his overcoat. “It couldn’t possibly be that pleasing to the eyes, Mai. Surely there will be others.”

“Absolutely not! God, why are you such a stud, Dimitri?” Mai asked as if genuinely baffled.

“B-Beloved, please—”

“Next thing you know, a cop might arrest you for being this inhumanly beautiful.”

Dimitri couldn’t find any words to say for fear that the redness would extend beyond his neck.

But how could Mai not freak out? After all, he looked nothing short of perfection in a modern formal suit. Formal wear would always be one of Dimitri’s fortes. His vest was a royal blue as an homage to him being a Blue Lion at heart, for his classmates. 

She did not appreciate how she felt heat swell up in her at how his body fit well into his garments. Were it not for a couple days ago, she would have pounced on him. But then at remembering the occasion, the dread pooled into her stomach.

“ved… Beloved?”

“Huh, wha—” Shaking her head, Mai refocuses her attention on Dimitri.

But now his face has morphed into a worried frown. “Oh my. I had heard that you were preoccupied with your thoughts, but it’s more prominent than I initially thought.”

He takes her hand in his and begins leading her upstairs, passing by the others who were looking over everything last minute. 

“Welcome home, Mister Dimitri!” Nursery Rhyme called from the kitchen as she was packing away her gingerbread men with Kotarou and Danzo.

“Please make sure you’re ready to go, Mas—I mean, Mai…” The red headed male fixed sheepishly, blushing behind his holiday scarf as Danzo fixed it up for him.

“We still have leeway to make it there leisurely, Fuuma-dono. Mai-dono, please do not pressure yourself. We have already prepared since the beginning, so everything will be just fine.” A reassuring smile was sent their way, and Dimitri nodded in appreciation. “Thank you, you two. It won’t take us long! We’ll be down before you know it.” “And our fellow feline better be wearing a dress by the time she comes down~” Elizabeth cooed.

Dimitri’s eyes widened at his hand being gripped tighter.

“...Mai?” He called out softly.

He couldn’t say more than that as Mai went ahead of him, dragging him by the hand until they made it within the confinements of her room.

Mai sighs harshly to herself as she closes the door behind her, pushing herself off it as she twiddles with her thumbs.

Staring warmly, Dimitri tries to meet her hiding eyes, intertwining hands. “Mai, whatever is concerning you, it will be okay… Remember what I said? I promised to always be there for you should you need an open ear and heart. How could I possibly be happy otherwise when my beloved is in distress?”

A giddish expression almost formed on her face had she not cleared her throat. But her ears did burn from his usual sweetness.

She adjusts her glasses and flitted her eyes to the side. But that movement didn’t miss his eyes, and his own travel over to her closet. On top of a few boxes was a shopping bag from a brand of formal wear.

“Oh, is that your attire for the upcoming ball?” A smile graced his lips (Oh why do they have to be so kissable god DAMN IT—).

“I’m sure you will look absolutely wonderful, my dear. If you would allow me to, I’d love to see it-” “Dima.” Any words he had in mind fell short at her grave tone.

“Mai…” She took her hand from his and sank her nails into her forearms.

“I just don’t… think I can do this,” she admits. Inhaling sharply, she elaborated unevenly,

“Go to the… ball I mean.”

Hia hand tenderly cups her face, his smile comfortingly warm. “Whyever not? I know you’ll be absolutely wonderful company there. It wouldn’t be the same without you there by our side.”

“That’s part of the thing. It’s nerves; being good enough to be with you all and, being among tons of other people who are,” she breathed unevenly in shutters, “absolutely wonderful and more charming.”

“Trust me, beloved. I’m a bit of a stiff myself when it comes to formal events. But, the invitation stated it’s supposed to be focused on enjoying the occasion. It’s like you told all of us: we are going to enjoy ourselves. As long as we can do that, then that’s all that matters,” Dimitri reassures.

Mai lets out a squeak when he leans in and kisses her forehead, brushing her fringe out of the way in the process. “I know that for me, my eyes could only go back to you and you alone.”

Oh fuck this feral prince charming incarnate. 

“Right, of course,” Mai laughs quietly and nods. She gives him a small smile before exhaling and biting down on her bottom lip lightly.

“The other issue is…” After glancing towards her bedroom door to make sure no one was listening, she turned back to him and properly met his eyes, despite the sharp blue they always are.

“I promised the girls that if I ever go to a party of any sort, then I would wear a dress… but considering my lack of confidence,” she laughed almost at herself as she remarks, “the self-positivity isn’t sufficient to the dress’s standards.”

Dimitri’s frown of disapproval at her words made her grimace in apology, but continued on, “I don’t like breaking a promise to them, but they’ve been waiting for a while! I guess what I’m trying to say is—”

“Mai.” Cupping her hands, Dimitri simply asks, “Do you not want to wear a dress for this event?”

There was a lull in their conversation as Mai mulled over her decision. The dress she had in mind came upon her when she went window shopping around town. It was the most gorgeous one that she laid her eyes on, and it fit her. She knew it did, going beyond her usual indecisiveness. But whether it was the huge price or the fact that her side eye caught girls who were much more aesthetically pleasing made her hesitant didn’t matter. She couldn’t bring herself to go inside. It took her so long until she went back into town for anything she might like.

With that in mind, she doesn’t want her efforts to go to waste.

“... No. I want… to wear it next time. Just not now,” Mai firmly answers. Nodding to herself, she confirmed that to be true.

“I’m sorry to disappoint though,” she apologizes.

After a chuckle left his lips, he muses, “I always believe you should be more concerned about me disappointing you.”

“Then it seems we’ve reached yet another impasse~” 

Their song and dance grew from a foundation of mutual self-deprecation. But it has gotten better over the time they spent together.

Mai huffs out a resolute breath. This was a night to have fun, and she’ll enjoy it the way she likes it to be. Plus, she made a compromise for when they celebrate the new year.

“Although I am a bit impatient, I will have the pleasure of being your official escort for the new year, my lady,” Dimitri jokes, standing up from her bed and holding her hand as if about to grace it with a kiss.

“Ha! You wish, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd. Since I’ll be dressing up like a prince as well, I’m going to sweep you off your feet first, along with everyone else’s.”

With a triumphant grin, Mai dove into her closet and pulled out her shopping bag, jostling it excitedly. “And you’re going to get the first peek!”

---

The Night of the Yuletide Ball…

“Ooooh, it’s almost time! Where are they?!” Elizabeth paced to and fro at the front entrance. 

They stuck out a bit considering more and more party goers entered inside. Some of them were holding their catering to the party, as well quite the growing selection of drinks.

“Now now let’s not get your panties in a twist, dragon princess.” Yan Qing snickered at the indignant shriek that escaped her when she batted at his arm, to no avail.

In short, all of them were dressed up to a T. Danzo was ethereal elegance with her custom furisode kimono. Kotarou was leaning towards a more western tradition and was also adorned with a suit to wear, along with Yan Qing. Though the latter took liberties and neglected his tie, which was wrapped around one of his wrists as some sort of bracelet.

The rest of Mai’s company was already inside with their friends and family, having already notified her in advance they would enjoy time together within the building.

“Besides, aren’t you the one who usually goes for being fashionably late?”

“That’s because I can pull it off! No offense to our cute master, but she has the fashion sense of a potato. Full of hidden potential, but always makes herself look so plain.”

“Don’t be so mean, Eli! Master is a cute potato!” Nursery, her alias being Alice, pouted, crossing her arms dramatically that it made her hair and dress swish with her movements.

“... So you’re not denying Master is a potato then,” Danzo deadpans, her eyes widened slightly in confusion.

“Please. Can we not address Our Lord as a vegetable?”

“Phooey! That argument doesn’t sound so convincing when you’re, as what our feline master calls you, a hentai protagonist!” Elizabeth retorts.

Much to his chagrin, Fuuma’s face reddened. And Yan only laughed at their banter. But Abigail was still searching. She hopes that Mai was doing okay.

“Big sis…”

That was when a car screeched to a halt in the distance. Passerby blinked at the noise before continuing on.

Abigail’s smile widened as she points out the dashing figures coming closer to them.

“Ah!! It’s them! It’s them!!”

When they got close enough, Mai was struggling to button up her blazer while Dimitri was struggling with the chain from his brooch.

“Dima, make sure you pin it through the cloth carefully. Think of it like a clasp!”

“O-Okay!” A faint click! and his hands parted to reveal his lapels connected by a silver chain from the brooch of a lion. It seemed to gleam from its golden polish.

“There! I got it!”

“And we made it—Guys!! We’re here!”

Mai and Dimitri pant slightly as they stumbled to regain their posture.

“I’m so sorry! There was just so much traffic and I wouldn’t forgive myself if we got here any later. I broke a few traffic laws and didn’t get pulled over by a cop; it’s good,” Mai reported with a mock salute, sighing heavily as she heaved.

“Wait, you did what—?!”

“Master~! Great to see you showed up!” Yan greeted Mai with a warm hug, to which she reciprocated with a chuckle as he lifted her off her feet briefly before putting her down.

“It’s so great to be with you all. I’m actually really excited now,” Mai and Dimitri exchanged smiles before Nursery and Abigail exchanged squeals and giggles at Mai’s attire.

“Waaaah, a prince!! You really did come as a prince!” “So handsome~!”

She felt her face burn from the compliments.

“You think so? I’m glad! I didn’t want to mess anything up, so I did the best I could.” Of course, Mai smiled and bowed apologetically to Elizabeth, who pouted and crossed her arms, as well as tapping one of her feet against the ground. Of course she was the most disappointed…

“I’m really really sorry, Liz… After much consideration, I have a perfectly reasonable answer as to why I committed such treason to your promise,” Mai expresses solemnly.

The pinkette’s eyes squinted challengingly. “Oh? Well enlighten me, Master. What could you possibly have been thinking as to go against my wish this  season?” 

“Well… it’s because,” Walking so she was standing in front of the dragon girl, Mai knelt like a knight and folded an arm across her chest, taking one of Elizabeth’s hands in her other.

If Elizabeth wasn’t flustered before, she most certainly was now with her tail swishing erratically.

“Wh-wh-wh-what is the m-meaning of this?!” She squeaks, cheeks rosy red.

“You see… I know you don’t get many moments in life to be pampered properly. That’s just the reality of things… but I figured since you should get the full experience of being at a ball, I wanted to treat you like the princess you are deep down.”

“M-Master…” Elizabeth’s eyes widened as it seemed as if a glittering aura surrounded Mai’s composed, yet almost regal smile. Eyes that shone with clarity and affection.

“My lady, allow me the honor to give you all that I have for you to have a wonderful time tonight, with the moon as witness to my word—”

“Oh gosh!!” Elizabeth took her hand out of hers and puffed her chest out, closing her eyes and smiling proudly in an attempt to hide her giddiness.

“Well, when you put it that way, then who am I to deny my fellow vassal?! If only you were honest sooner, you had us unnecessarily worried you know~!”

While Elizabeth was getting lost in her head, cradling her reddened face in her hands, Mai stood up, turned around, and flashed a smug grin and a thumbs up.

Simple-gon, Yan’s dull eyes pierced into the back of Elizabeth’s skull before exchanging the same dead looks with the others, over the young girls’ heads.

With the exception of Dimitri, who laughed then cleared his throat before reminding, “We should all head inside now! We wouldn’t want to keep our awaiting company held up any longer than necessary.”

Smiling softly, Danzo carefully guided the still giggling Elizabeth in, everyone following after, chattering as they all entered through the door.

“It really does suit you, My Lord,” The female ninja nods primly. “You look very happy. I’m glad.” Beaming, Mai nods and bows as much as she could while walking. “Thank you, Danzo… I’m happy too. Very, very happy…”

Finally, they all  made it to the heart of the room, where the Yuletide festivities awaited them, with the rest of their companions.

“Now, I’m not sure about all of you, but I am ready to hit up the booze table—” “Yan, we just got here!” “Don’t worry Master~! You know my alcohol tolerance works wonders. I’ll even get you a glass too.”

“Oh my god—I have another year to go!!”

[sesshachan]

For the ask prompt! 14, 24, 28, 42, and 49!

14. A random fact

Hmmmm.... well.... I started working at a nursing/rehab facility last year and a random fact I’ve learned that as people get older getting a UTI makes people go a little crazy. Like I’ve had people start talking about the IRS coming in to see them (but no one except family or nurses have come by) or fixing things that aren’t broken (but the maintenance guy comes in to “check” on it anyways) or sometimes not make any sense. And once the UTI goes away they’re back to normal. So I thought that was neat.

24. Talents

Im a fast learner but an eaqually fast forgetter... I can draw and surprisingly even tho I haven’t in a while, if I start again I can still art as well as I did before so that’s nice.... I’m good bringing ideas to the table but not of executing them myself.... I can do many things if it’s to help someone else complete their tasks or lighten their load, but I cannot sit down to do my own stuff... i can explain things good to people when they’re having trouble understanding stuff... i sing but I’m an alto so like my range is limited but that doesn’t stop me from trying to make Kpop covers when I’m bored (no ones gonna hear them unless I’m happy with them tho so...). idk of these are talents... these are more things I do... I guess

28. Favorite ice cream flavor

Coffee anything. 💯💯💯

42. Stuffed animals I own

Hooooo boy.... okay. Uuuuh I got two big teddy bears. I got a big baymax, medium baymax, baby baymax. I have a big rainbow octopus (his name is omelette). Line friends sally plush (renamed her chicken) and an Apeach baby. I have a small white Scotty dog named Oliver. Little elephant named Phanti. A smaller one named blue (he’s blue dabadee dabba dai). a lot of Elsa plush dolls (one for every outfit and then a Christmas Anna and kristoff and a coronation Anna). A LOT of small TsumTsums like 3-4 medium ones and a big groot one. Dean and Cas plushies. A big bt21 Mang plush head (thanks bae). Little stingray named pancake. Vanellope. A buckwheat goblin and a black hug plush from the Kdrama Goblin: The Lonely and Great God. A care bear baby I’ve had since I inherited it from my sister (handmedown my sister is very much alive). A triceratops, a wooly mammoth. A few teddies. A Pooh and piglet in raincoats. A classic Pooh. A lot more piglets. Pete the dragon and Olaf from build a bear. some duckies. The octopus from finding dory and a baby dory. Mini build a bear iron man and captain America bears. Got7 Jinyoung gotoon plush. A bunny made of alpaca fluff. Bae got me a crocheted giraffe (Matt) a big horned mountain goat (oh dang I forgot his name...) a sock monkey (misha) and a black bear plush. A sloth named cordial. A Stuffy plush (you know... from doc mcstuffins...). I’m missing a lot... I feel it...

49. A song that made me cry

Recent ones that come to mind are from Frozen 2. Show Yourself was my happy cry song (I feel like it’s the first time I had a happy cry song because all other songs I think about crying are sad heartbreak songs that remind me of sadness) and The Next Right Thing (sad cry).... An honorable mention is Astro’s Bloom just from feeling the music, then I learned the lyrics (didn’t make it better). But I knew if they had sung that song live at their last concert I would have ruined my make up but they didn’t and I was glad and disappointed.

You picked some good ones @hearti thank you!!!

Ps. They’re long... I’m sorry...

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

Okay so its okay if u dont do this, i underdstand but if ever you do im wondering what Aaron's reaction is once he finds out what happened to Erin? Im just desperate for twinyards. How does he take it and will he ever find out what happened to her in all those foster homes and her scars?

Sorry this took so long, love! You’ve probably lost interest but here’s the answer anyway. I’ve got another request for Twinyards so I’m saving the scars bit for that. 

They were only playing around when it happened. Katelyn had been riling Aaron up since he’d walked through the door, teasing him, laughing at him. The breaking point had been when she started to tickle him. 

“Katelyn, stop,” he gasped through fits of laughter. 

“Say please,” she cooed. Aaron could barely catch his breath, let alone say please. Instead, he caught her by her wrists and flipped her over so he sat straddling her. Pinning her arms down on either side of her face he closed the distance between the two of them. He speckled kisses all over her face. Katelyn laughed at the ridiculous display of affection from him. As he pulled back, he saw her face flushed with her arms pinned on either side. Her long blonde hair had come unbound and was splayed across the white bedsheets. Suddenly, the sheets were soaked red. The hands pinning her down weren’t his own. They were far too big to be his. Drawing his gaze back to Katelyn’s face, it wasn’t Katelyn he had pinned down. In her place was a face identical to his own, haloed by pale gold hair. Tears streamed down the girl’s face. Manic laughter echoed through Aaron’s head.

“Erin!” he shrieked as he toppled off the bed. Scrambling backward, he felt his back hit the door. Aaron felt as if there were chains binding his torso. He clawed desperately at his chest, trying to tear off chains that weren’t really there. He couldn’t breathe. 

“Aaron. Aaron, it’s me. It’s Katelyn.” Aaron’s gaze snapped up to see Katelyn kneeling a foot in front of him. Her hands were outstretched, hovering around his face. He grabbed them and cupped them around his face. Sobs wracked his body and he felt Katelyn get closer. She dropped a hand from his face and wrapped her arm around him. She drew him into her lap. Aaron didn’t know how long he sat there crying, only that Katelyn didn’t leave him the entire time. 

It had been three weeks since Erin had been shipped off to Easthaven. Aaron hadn’t even known that she was leaving. Josten had been the one to tell him. The words had barely left her mouth before he’d shot out of his chair, knocking it over in the process. He’d torn down the hall and flung open the front door. Aaron had run all the way down the street before collapsing to his knees. Digging his hands into the ground, he ripped hunks of grass out and screamed up at the sky. He curled up in a ball and lay there for a few seconds, minutes, hours. Something nudged him and he turned to look up. A hand had appeared out of the sky. For half a second, Aaron thought it was God coming to save him from his misery. It was only Josten. He smacked her hand away and got to his feet on his own. Trudging back to the house, he wiped the tears from his eyes. He smeared snot all over his shirt sleeve but he couldn’t bring himself to care.

“What did you think running was going to accomplish?” Josten asked him when she found him searching for answers at the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniels. Aaron just stared at the floor. 

“Why are you different?” he whispered. He looked over at Josten. A frown creased her brow. “I know you’re not that stupid,” he spat. “Why does Erin treat you differently? What makes you so special? Why does she do things for you?” 

Now it was Josten’s turn to avoid his gaze. He watched as she shrunk into her sweater. No. Not hers. The sweater she wore belonged to Erin, a Christmas present from Nicky. He had watched his sister chuck it in Josten’s face before they’d left for the drive out here. After a few endless minutes, she finally answered. “Because we’re the same,” she whispered. 

“What do you mean?” Aaron asked. With a sigh, Ania told him about men with sharp smiles and roaming hands. She told him about their stale alcohol breath and the weight of them bearing down on her. She told him about a boy in Millport that’s shoved her up against the lockers so many times that she’d lost count. Tears slipped from Aaron’s eyes against his will. Little by little, the pieces of the puzzle clicked together. 

“That’s why you never come near us,” Aaron said softly as she finished her story. He watched the slow nod of her head. “Josten.” Her eyes remained glued to the floor. “Ania,” he said. Slowly, she dragged her gaze up to meet his. “I hate you but I won’t ever hurt you,” he said. A small smile tinged her lips. Aaron could have sworn his soul left his body. Even tired and broken, Ania Josten was stunning. Not as stunning as Katelyn, of course, but she had her appeal. 

“Erin would kill you if you tried,” she replied. Aaron huffed a laugh. She was right. Brother or not, Erin would never stand for him doing anything even remotely resembling what the two of them had survived. “You know, it’s 2 a.m., right?” Aaron cursed softly and Ania’s smile grew. “Get to bed. I’ll drive us home in the morning.” Aaron let her take the bottle from him and trudged up the stairs alone. He felt a shard of pain wrench his heart as he passed Erin’s room. Collapsing into his bed, he let his exhaustion drag him into sleep. That night he dreamt of dark red blood smeared across golden hair and pale wrists. 

---

Loving his sister was undoubtedly the hardest thing Aaron had ever done. In the three years that he’d known her, she had always shut him out. A lot of it made sense now. Her last brother had been a disgusting excuse for a human being. How could she expect Aaron to be any better? Sitting in the booth at the diner, Aaron found himself resenting the fact that all the Foxes were together. As soon as Erin was out of the picture, Kevin and his cousin had started cozying up to the upperclassmen. A pang of guilt always stuck him in the gut as he felt the Katelyn’s arm wind around his waist. As soon as Erin was out of the picture, he’d started cozying up with Katelyn in front of the others too. Didn’t that make him just as bad? That night he let Katelyn kiss him until his brain couldn’t form a single coherent thought. 

Laying beside her, he traced patterns across her exposed stomach. All of the cheerleaders were pure lean muscle. All except Katelyn. Unknown to most, her uniform hid a layer of fat on her abdomen. Katelyn had been self-conscious about taking her shirt off in front of him the first time but it hadn’t taken him long to convince her he loved it just as much as the rest of her. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” he’d asked. “It’s the world’s most heavenly pillow.” Katelyn’s bright laughter had filled the room as he rested his chin on it. Staring up at her, Aaron was convinced that he was staring right at the sun. Being so close to the sun would only burn him up and Aaron knew it. Hearing her laughter, Aaron decided that he wouldn’t mind if it was for her. 

Now as she lay sleeping, Aaron felt soft and sleepy himself. Warmth bloomed in his chest at the sound of her murmuring his name softly in her sleep. A thought cut through his sleep-addled brain. Could Erin ever have this? 

Aaron knew that his sister deserved someone who loved her more than anyone he’d ever met. But who? Kevin definitely wasn’t good enough for her. Matt seemed fond of her but that didn’t seem quite right either. Erin needed someone who understood what she’d been through. Someone who wouldn’t push her any further than she was willing to go. She needed someone who’d whisper her name like a prayer. 

There is someone, Aaron realized. His thoughts turned to a person with a smile that could easily light the stadium all on its own. A person who always took no for an answer, and so, was never denied a single request. A person who he’d once heard whisper, ‘Jude’ in her sleep like the prayer of a sinner on her deathbed. 

Loving Erin Jude Minyard was damnation itself. Aaron knew his sister was all hard lines and sharp edges. She was all vice with no discernible virtue but Aaron didn’t care. He had spent his entire life feeling sorry for himself, believing that there wasn’t a soul in the world more deserving of salvation than his own. From the moment he’d laid eyes on the empty shell of a person that Erin was, he’d known he was wrong. Never before had Aaron felt such shame as he did when he realized the depth of his own selfishness. 

Being raised by a drug-addict and her endless string of short term boyfriends only bought Aaron so many concessions and he knew he’d used them up long ago. Aaron’s self-centeredness had hurt more people than he cared to admit. He was no saint and he didn’t have any intention of becoming one. Still, some small part of him wondered if he lived out the remainder of his life trying to make amends for all he’d done before maybe, just maybe, he’d get to glimpse his sister standing behind the gates of heaven on his way down to hell.  

The next morning at practice, he watched a girl who’d once outshone the sun collapse into herself like a dying star, sucking up every shard of light and joy as she went. Watching her, Aaron began to think he’d found the only person who cared more for his sister than he did. Erin deserved better. He was sure of it but they were Foxes. They’d never get what they deserved. Settling for less was an art form that every one of them had been forced to master. 

Screwing his eyes shut, he prayed with sincerity for the first time in a long time. “Please,” he whispered. “Just let my sister be happy. Even if it’s with Josten. With Ania.”

[phenyxsnest]

Hope Week Day 5: Wonder

Read on AO3 // Read on FF.net

North buried his head in his hands and suppressed a groan.

Christmas was so far off! And he hadn't tried to connect to the children without using Christmas in so long!

All right, there was that time during the whole Pitch thing of 2012 where he'd helped Toothie with the tooth collecting, but...

North shot up as if stuck with a pin. “Idea!” he caroled, eyes alight. There was no one around to hear him, but that didn't matter. North pushed away from the table, beginning to pace as he went through his idea aloud.

Tooth didn't need help right now – she might be annoyed at the help, actually, given she was trying to let her girls do it on their own while she helped the children Remember – but Easter was coming up.

As much as North and Bunny wrangled over the importance of their holidays, Easter was still important...or at least, the spring it brought was, given that not everyone celebrated Easter.

But Easter brought Hope. For all they argued and wrangled, usually, all the Guardians' centers were equally important, but right now, didn't the children need Hope more than ever?

So...Bunny had Easter well in hand...or paw, as it were...usually. He hadn't needed help since Easter of 2012. Still, no harm in offering to help, no? With everything going on, Easter was extra important this year.

North made his hurried way down to the sleigh – the stone there could take a flower, if using the egg-charm Bunny had gifted each of them with after 2012 to make their way to the Warren left one the way Bunny himself did – absently responding to yeti and elves along the way.

And never noticing the still multi-colored 'Easter Elf' tagging along behind him.

---XXX---

North landed in the Warren with a mighty thump, easily covering the Easter Elf's much tinier landing. They elf stood up quickly, giving himself a shake before darting off into the tall grass, unnoticed.

North wobbled to his feet, stretching with a crack. Ah, if only the children believed in him as a younger man...well, he was still plenty fresh and ready to go, once he found his Easter Bunny.

He turned to look at one of the sentinals, which stared back blankly as only a face carved of stone could. Still, it remained on the friendly side, so there was that.

“No directions?” North asked anyway, adding, “Is big Warren. Ah, well, shall find him eventually, no?” when it remained silent.

North tapped a finger to his chin, looking around and relaxing in the warmth. The Warren was edging towards full spring bloom, and the scent of flowers was heavy in the air above the riot of color, both a welcome change from the Pole and Workshop.

North planted his hands on his hips, leaning back to take a long, deep breath of air. He held that pose for a minute, soaking in the Warren, before letting out a loud laugh and setting out to find his bunny.

---XXX---

It took a bit of walking to find Bunny, and the pooka was waiting for him, to North's vague disappointment. He always enjoyed surprising Bunny...well, except for when they were fresh off a mission and they were both a bit jumpy.

That usually didn't end well.

The sentinels must have warned him, as Bunny only looked mildly annoyed as he set down his paintbrush, shooing away the egg he'd been working on.

“Let me guess, you came to help too,” Bunny said dryly as North approached.

North tilted his head. “Too?”

Bunny pointed, and North followed the direction of that paw, seeing a blue speck in the distance. “Snowflake's surprisingly good at herding,” Bunny said, reaching for the next egg. “Came by and pouted at me until I let 'im help.”

“Well, Easter very important this year, no?” North said, pretending not to notice how Bunny's ears perked up in his direction. “Is a long time before Jack and I can help the children direct. But you can! Need hope so much right now. All do,” he added, deflating.

Bunny heaved a sigh that was mostly put on for show. “Right, fine, fine. Ain't quite ready to send out the goggies yet...you can help Jackie herd 'em, or try yer hand at paintin' a few.”

“Where is Jack herding them?” North asked, glancing up at the swooping Guardian, who was letting out a whoop as he plunged towards the ground, pulling up and floating over a group of eggs.

Bunny shrugged, turning to pick his half finished egg back up. “Inta the color or glitter rivers or towards th' tunnels. He's freezin' some first, just a bit. Turns out a bitta frost on 'em before they go in makes fancy patterns.”

North began to grin and Bunny pointed at him with the paint brush, jabbing it in his direction for emphasis with each word.

“No. You stop that. Right now.”

“Stop what? Am not doing anything,” North said, all baffled innocence as he sank down to sit cross-legged next to Bunny. He picked up one of the walking eggs, eying it dubiously. “Is nice to see you getting along.”

Bunny grumbled, eyes going back to his egg. “If yer gonna paint goggies, at least try not ta make 'em all Christmassy,” he said. “Wi' all th' hassle ya give me about Easter, surprised yer here.”

“Ah, well...” North said, and at the surprising lack of words Bunny turned back to him, ears tilted towards North.

As the silence stretched, Bunny pointed to the egg. “Ya can paint 'n talk. Do both.”

“Just is hard to bring wonder right now, is all,” North grumbled, sounding a few centuries younger than his actual age. “And Christmas so far off...and people are scared of what this will do to everything, let along Christmas.”

Bunny hummed in soft acknowledgment. “Well, put enough glitter on tha' googie and it'll be a start. Jackie wants to talk about what else we can do after Easter.”

“Feels like so little...” North said, staring at the egg in his hands, which looked almost comically tiny cradled in his huge palm.

After a moment, Bunny reached out and laid a paw over North's hand. “We're gonna do everything we can. That's all anyone can do.”

Their eyes met, and the smile they shared was centuries of shared pains and joys and friendship.

[wherethewindtakesher]

actually all qs cuz I wanna get to know u :) boink!

OF COURSE BOINK ANON!

I will be excluding the ones Ive done (:

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Wine glasses/water bottles c:

3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Bubblegum! im not really a big fan of cotton candy tbh.

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? for some reason, soda from plastic cups hit different 😞

7. earbuds or headphones? headphones in the winter, earbuds in the summer.

9. favorite smell in the summer? the smell of my oncoming de- the smell of flowers blooming.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? it depends, some mornings I skip breakfast all together, others i’ll have a light snack, or I just have some cereal or make an egg.

12. name of your favorite playlist? ‘Recently added’

13. lanyard or key ring? landyard so I can find my keys easily. I still lose it tho-

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? spicy or sour candies are dope a f.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? The first book I read that I actually enjoyed was twilight.

16. most comfortable position to sit in? with my legs w I d e open because I cant sit properly.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? my tan/floral converses.

18. ideal weather? cloudy, cold, and raining 😌.

19. sleeping position? on my stomach, leg raised to my abdomen while the other is in the open air, and hands underneath my pillow. the BEST.

21. obsession from childhood? picking my scabs-

22. role model? my mom and sisters.

24. favorite crystal? garnet. It’s also my birthstone! I have it as a gem for my class ring.

25. first song you remember hearing? “bidi bidi mom mom” by selena quintanilla.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? if it’s not scorching hot, go on walks.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? snuggle up in a blanket and watch movies.

28. five songs to describe you? ‘humble’ kendrick lamar, ‘cry baby’ melanie martinez, ‘stupid’ ashnikko, ‘paparazzi’ lady gaga, ‘or nah’ ty dollar $ign.

29. best way to bond with you? send me M E M E S-

30. places that you find sacred? my bed.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? ripped jeans, boots, a crop top, and a jacket.

33. most used phrase in your phone? fuck.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? that empire carpet wash commercial.

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? DAT BOI.

37. suitcase or duffel bag? duffel bag.

38. lemonade or tea? how about both of them combined 😉.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? I hate pie 🙊

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? someone brought a gun and it fell out of their backpack during 2nd period.

41. last person you texted? @caws5749

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants pockets. BUT THE DEEP ONES NOT THOSE SMALL FUCKING ONES.

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodies or a bomber jacket.

44. favorite scent for soap? Lavender.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? superhero!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? naked-

47. favorite type of cheese? queso fresco.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? mango.

49. what saying or quote do you live by? “im a bad bitch you cant kill me”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? anytime my friends and I joke around.

51. current stresses? school, personal issues, and my NEW JOB THATS RIGHT YALL YO GIRL EMPLOYED.

52. favorite font? calibri.

53. what is the current state of your hands? kinda rough but smooth.

54. what did you learn from your first job? that people fucking suck.

55. favorite fairy tale? little red riding hood.

56. favorite tradition? eating tamales during christmas time.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? that im not perfect, my flaws are just as beautiful as my perfections, and that im just ug-

58. four talents you’re proud of having? im not talented aT ALL. uh...

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? ‘let’s fuck ‘em up’

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? sasuke from naruto or mey-rin from kuroshitsuji.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? “see you in a minute”

62. seven characters you relate to? natasha, cristina yang, dexter, ford, thor, scott lang, and tony.

63. five songs that would play in your club? ‘bodak yellow’, ‘man of the year’, ‘rockstar’, ‘bickenhead’, ‘slumber party’.

64. favorite website from your childhood? I forgot the name but it was that educational site with the orange robot and human.

65. any permanent scars? my entire body is riddled in scars no joke.

66. favorite flower(s)? hibiscus and roses.

67. good luck charms? my dog’s name tag.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? onions-

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? that cracking your joints won't give you arthritis.

70. left or right handed? im mixed handed but I do the majority of stuff with my right.

71. least favorite pattern? plaid.

72. worst subject? MATH FJSKSJKFSJS I HATE IT.

73. favorite weird flavor combo? have yall tried chocolate milk with chicken nuggets-

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 8-9 because I tend to fight back and not admit there is something wrong going on 😬.

75. when did you lose your first tooth? 2nd grade I believe.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? for some reason my love of tater tots has come back.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? uh cacti?

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? coffee from a gas station cus im not trying to die-

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? oh man, I look like shit in both of them. School id.

80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs? ive never seen either 😔.

82. pc or console? i’ve own consoles for most of my life.

83. writing or drawing? writing. I cant draw very well.

84. podcasts or talk radio? podcasts! I listen to ‘last podcast on the left’.

84. barbie or polly pocket? barbies! did anyone make their barbies have sex or was it just me-?

85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology. yall don't know this but I have fallen into the greek mythology rabbit hole-

86. cookies or cupcakes? I fuck heavy with cupcakes TILL THIS DAY.

87. your greatest fear? to see those I love die.

88. your greatest wish? to be happy.

89. who would you put before everyone else? myself.

90. luckiest mistake? guessing on a question and getting it right 😎.

91. boxes or bags? i’ll go with boxes. it makes everything easier to stack and organize.

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? fairy lights are so pretty.

93. nicknames? clown by @caws5749, bottom by @domromanoff, and variations of my real name.

94. favorite season? fall/winter TIMEEEEE.

95. favorite app on your phone? mario kart. if anyone wants to be friends give me your friend code-

96. desktop background? it’s black with a colorful smoke cloud exploding.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? mine and my oldest sister’s because she has had that same number since I was in the WOMB.

98. favorite historical era? I would say the WWII era since ive studied more about it than any other era.

UPDATE; this would've been done last night but my screen decided to just crash and not save anything I had done and my girl sent my ass to bed so I couldn't finish it but here ya go boink!