#but im trying to figure out a way to make it make sense bc thats what i do

[boxwinebaddie]

hi uncle nina! sorry if this is kinda overbearing, but you havent posted anything today so i just wanna check in and make sure youre doing okay! <3

oh my god, sweetheart!!! this is not overbearing AT ALL! this is extremely thoughtful and makes me feel extremely validated. <3

i'm sorry for causing concern, but ty for being concerned about me.

because the school year is coming to a close, things around me at work have been pretty intense, so i've been tossed around like a ragdoll the past week and haven't had much time to write as a result. i also haven't been sleeping very well and rush a lot in the mornings, so i've forgotten to take my mood stabilizer the past couple of days which makes me v sluggish, zombie-ish and unpleasant in general. :/

...when i am like that, as a weird way of sparing you, i suppose, i try not to post on here too much because it feels quite shitty indeed for you to get a notification for my blog just to watch me bitch n moan.

however, i have taken my medication today and feel bad for fumbling kyle week...as we know i'm not really good at holding myself accountable or making deadlines. oddly enough, it's not that i don't want to answer my questions, it's just that other than not being able to really find the time recently, i just can't find the right...words?

( this ask is long and irrelevant, but read if you wish. ilysm. )

or, rather, i don't feel knowledgeable enough the subjects to answer? specifically in the areas of my tsot/tfbw styles and ncuniverses, i feel a little insecure because i don't know sp or the games as well as many other people do, so i'm trying to speed watch episodes/watch speed runs of the games online so i can at least keep some canon intact?

i also am finding that creating and understanding how high fantasy universes work is...difficult? lmao? also because i did crazy stuff with mutations and science and politics in my tfbw ncuniverse, that's also complicated and out of my wheelhouse...tldr: i have big ideas, but i'm not very good at backing them in fact or doing analytical stuff.

but...iiiiii need to, lmao. mental illness, but if i make a universe it has to be fully realized, it has to all make as much sense as possible, echo the canon, enhance it, feel real and be fluid...so if i'm not around too much it's because i'm trying to bolster myself with my sp knowledge ( ik, i'm a fake fan ) and watch/read/research high fantasy concepts and superhero/scientific fiction/dystopian stuff...so if anyone has any recommendations for me to watch or learn from in those realms, i'd appreciate it. again, this is intense...but i care a lot about my craft.

and specifically crafting something worthy of all of you, that makes sense, lives and breathes, reflects the show we love & is interesting.

ANYWAYS!!!! with that said, i got a cool ask about whether or not i have a gunslinger kyle? which? not yet? BUT YOU'RE A GENIUS BABY I AM SOOOOO ON IT!!! please let me cook and watch some things because actually, oh my god, i am very down. i'll update you. i might make a board to gather ideas, omg, omg, it'll be SPICY.

i got an ask about princess kylie, which, bless you, i am also still developing her character, i am going to pour over the books, watch some GOT, do some mapping out, watch some intricate dnd play throughs...and have some answers for you very soon: hang on, baby.

( she's little, bitchy, prissy and does need to be babysat, i'm afraid. )

got some on jersey i'm excited about! sorry for writing that ask meme about the sour skittles like that, again, writing has been trying for me lately and i had a concept that i wanted to share but wasn't sure how to express that. if you guys are alright with getting my asks in the form of notes some times i would appreciate it! anyways, keep your eyes out for some of those...if kyle week runs into next week, sorry.

idk...this is so long. all this to say...i'm really sorry? i haven't been a very solid creator lately, but i'm a little unstable rn. but i am working on it and i hope to be back on the horse by tonight and share my notes at least and show you guys how my brain is working.

in the mean time, please direct as many questions as you would like in the direction of riley, teri and ana who not only are epic writers but have been an epic support system/helping me get back into things.

thank you for caring, thank you for reading...keeping up with this blog and the questions and creating constantly is sometimes challenging, but very rewarding. i promise that i am not neglecting my asks or all of you because i don't care, its actually because i care very much and only want to give you stuff that is awesome and cool and well researched. so, again, just give me a second to get my barings and while it kind of eats at my bad bpd brain i might try and share stuff with you guys that's half baked because the feedback might help.

tldr: i love you, this made no sense, i'm a mess, but i am fine.

miss you and love you. happy kyle week.

-uncle nina

[bleakbluejay]

so. like.

we're gonna assume din was about 10 when he was adopted as a foundling.

given that pedro pascal is nearly 48, i should assume din is probably in his 40s, too. we'll say 40 to keep it round.

so that's 30 years, three decades, of nobody saying his name.

everyone is calling him din djarin now, including paz and the armorer.

for the past 30 years, what the fuck else did they call him? and why didn't they call him din before now?

[nomaishuttle]

frankie if yr curious

[cinnabeat]

finally went inside the southern observatory and ngl that was kinda anticlimactic

[windupaidoneus]

playing inquisition first then the other games truly gave me whiplash about cullen. the way my characters feel & act toward him are very much a byproduct of how Mixed Feelings my feelings are about him 😭

[nyx-is-missing]

Could u write one for clarisse where she's impressed with femR bc of how good she is at fighting and all and clarisse finds her incredibly attractive bc no one has challenged her the way R does?

And like a bit of pining until the two confess

Thank you!!

Breathtaking or taken

Clarisse la rue x fem!reader

Summary: when Clarisse finds a opponent worth of her, she is breathtaken.

Warnings: none really, just fluff, not a descriptive fight scene on sight cause mama dont know how to write that, so just fluff fluff, and mutual pining fluff

(Do i need to say its not proofread? No? Thank you)

Here is one of the main benefits of being a daughter of Athena, you'll know.

DIfferent from other gods, Athena will let your parent know it is her who they are talking to.

And if letting them know beforehand isnt enough, she will let them know when the baby is brought to them, and if your parent is smart enough to live up to her choice, you'll have time to learn a thing or two before being thrown into this world.

If your parent cares enough about you, you'll have time.

And sure as hell my mom cared.

Always the intelectual woman, historian, researcher, writter, my mom knew many things about ancient greece, she knew all the stories by heart, and she, of all people, knew what she needed to do, to preserve her only daughter, her sacred gift.

She teached me all i needed to learn without compromising myself, stories, languages, art...and fight.

Little girls my age were doing dance classes, were trying to be good enough for drama club, were playing tea party with their dolls or making a mess with their mom's make up.

Well...i.. i was doing martial arts, i was fencing, i had my face in a book every free time i got.

I always asked her about it, why was she so strict about never missing a fight leasson, her answer always made sense, there and now.

"The world is cruel, especially for little girls, someday i might not be all the time with you, someday, you'll fight your own battles, you need to be ready"

Every word, every single word is true.

And that is how i ended up here, in a arena of camp half blood, sparring with Clarisse, and winnig, by two points, yes, but winning.

It is clear nobody expected that from me, neither did she actually, i can see in her eyes.

Understandable, they expect Athena kids to be calm, find a solution, not fight her way out.

Honestly their looks dont bother me, i dont even think much of it, but Clarisse's looks, they got something more to them, like a kid who finally got the dog she really wanted.

"Aaand break time Clarrise, we'll continue this tomorrow, id like to enjoy the rest of my afternoon thank you"

I dropped the sword down and started to undo my armor while walking close to the exit.

"Wait wait wait, now? Already? C'mon i didnt even had time to figure out how do you do that... all of that"

She stood next to me, still holding her sword and honestly.. she was beautiful, yes she was sweaty now and yes she was mean to everyone but.. now...right now, she was beautiful, shining, in her element really, flushed cheeks and a smile she only had when with a sword in hand.

"I practice, ever since i was a kid, everyday, well expect in weekends but yeah, almost everyday... how do you do all that? You are good...-want some water?"

I offered her my bottle also motioning for her to walk with me, both wich she gladly accepted.

"I practice too...and i never said this to anyone but, you are good, great even, and look breathtaking"

We stop walking, we stop all actually.

"I look what, Clarisse?"

"Breathtaken- you look out of breath, do you want the water back?"

Ah.

Weeks later i found myself in the same scenario, sparring with Clarisse again, actually that is all i do when it comes to training, be with Clarisse

"C'mon curls, thats the best you've got? No need to go easy on me"

"Im not going easy, i already told you, you caught me distracted thats all- GIRL WIll YOU SUSH?"

She tried to block you with her sword, thankfully for her, a succeded attempt.

"How could i? You're so fun to mess with, gets all red n all"

"Oh you want to talk about getting red?"

In a moment i was on the floor, Clarisse on top of me, and i couldnt speak, all i could do was stare into her big brown eyes, who looked right into my soul.

"Cant speak anymore huh? Oh if you could see the red im seeing-"

Now this my ladies and gentlemen, this is what i call a shot of faith.

I raised my head a little and just..i kissed her, it was quick but I did it, and her face went blank.

"Now you are breathtaken Curls, how about that?"

"And you are still breathtaking"

Still?

Oh

Oh.

"You...like me Clarisse?"

"You didnt knew?"

Oh.

"....no..?"

"Would you walk away if i kissed you this time?"

"....no."

[thatdeadaquarius]

SAGAU / Isekai Genshin:

You can still use your characters! ... as in possessing them 👻

(all art by me down below, hope its decent lol - did it for u guys and myself i mean what )

Edit 9/7/23: 1,500+ NOTES??? BRO WHAT!! THABK YOU <3

Edit 12/24/23 + 4/5/24:

☆

My dumbass forgot to put this here .-.

Anywya this is a full length fanfic now ;)

PART 1 (you're here!) / Part 2

So.

You got sucked into a video game. 

Crazy, but it happens ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

yknow how it issss

...you very quickly discover that unfortunately video game rules still apply...

which wouldn't normally be an issue! like, needing to use the bathroom in the middle of a fight? Nope! minor cuts and bruises like papercuts, only actual enemies or fall damage counting? hell yeah that'd be great (theoretically no chronic pains if you got that?? hmmmm unsure)

see the issue comes when you realize, you as a player, don't have a "character" that's all your own

there's aether/lumine yeah.. but bc the game's real now, they're their own people, and you didn't wake up to find yourself as a blonde twin...

the closest you can describe your form as is .. like a seelie?

or like the way ghosts look in game?

but a lot more "starry"

like your specterlike, but you look like you got filled up with stars and the milky way, maybe a reference of you being from another universe/world? (aether/lumine/dainsleif/khaenriah star symbol reference secret thEORY-)

but yah.

you also got just, white eyes.

like, not iris, not pupil. like your pupil and iris got erased

you gotta admit, at least you look really aesthetic now.

(u also got a little cape and hood on at all times, and you cant take it off to see your starrified hair >:/ ,very Blue Diamond-esque, look up Steven Universe, Blue Diamond if you dont know who im talking about)

so needless to say, as soon as you sort of glitched your way into existence you were HYPE

i mean ur ACTUALLY IN TEYVAT WITH THE BOYSSSS

...then you realize your a spooky-no-character-to-pilot-around-thus-no-character-model-body-for-you thingy

and that you cant touch stuff!! >:(

like wth!!!

thats just downright unfair.

so, you figure if you got no body to be.... you gotta find a new "character" to pilot >:)

...

I choose you, yellow fungi!

...

....

you're in the fucking woods (Sumeru somewhere obv, u knew that the moment you opened ur eyes),

what'd you expect?? an archon??

..wait a minute. can you possess an archon-

these kinda thoughts plague your first few days of irl genshin impact playing

a rishabold tiger? yep.

a sumpter beast? kinda slow and heavy feeling but yeah.

...you also try a ruin machine LOL

by far, the fungi and ruin machines are the best to possess, mostly because you can remain upright with those

(tho u did find some type of flying monkey that wasnt in game, but its like,, a real world and jungle now so that makes sense there'd be more complexity + stuff)

you do eventually think you should try and possess a person at this point... but ur kinda nervous 👉👈

its ur first time doin this okay nobody explained the basics to you youve been winging for a week now!

will your mind be replaced with theirs? it hasn't been so far with the creatures/bots

and as far as you can tell, they kinda just-

forget what happened or "wake up" after you possess them

(the tiger you were for a day looked confused as hell when it realized that there was a new pile of fruit next to it when it "woke up", it was your way of saying thank you to the animals of the jungle, u left them little piles of food you collected running around as them)

so THEORHETICALLY-

you should be good to go and possess a random poor eremite

... you figure you want to possess something human-like eventually even if you get a puppet body like wanderer/raiden so...

here goes nothing...

♤

so it's been 2 weeks since you've been forcefully yanked into teyvat, and by the second week, you were trying to possess eremites

which! worked out!

mostly..!

you kinda convinced the entirety of two eremite camps that a certain part one of sumeru's forests is hella haunted bc ppl keep "blacking out" and doing things they don't remember doing, yknow... like possesssion LMAO

they kinda ran off to escape you but, hey!

experiment #2: people possession, success!!

now you were kinda convinced of this when you realized no matter the angle the animals and machines of sumeru didnt react to you getting super close to them (you dont have to touch something to posses it, just look at it really, but you wanted to test limits, so you walked up to sumpter beasts and fungi and ruin machines)

but no one can see you.

you don't have a "character" most of the time, you can float and glide around the ground like scaramouche lol

you cant touch stuff bc of this, you cant smell stuff (u saw the eremites campfires & couldnt smell the smoke until you were them)

you cant eat stuff w/o a body, so.. it makes sense that the eremites and passing merchants, cant see you when you float around, trying to reorient yourself after 2 weeks of experimenting

:( ur only a lil sad about it... but mostly not bc lol u got possession powers so trade off u guess

the first time you see a vision-bearer you literally scream

LMAO

ur so lucky u cant be seen or heard

bc Collei would have def screamed back lol

needless to say u stalk the forest ranger- ALL DAY.

Collei goes on patrol around the woods? you go on a patrol.

collei goes to visit other forest rangers? you "visit" other forest rangers at base (lol u def possess a guy who was asleep on a bench nearby & wake up to go talk to Collei "in-person", poor guy was so worried he sleep walked/talked so hard he went to see Tighnari an hour later lmao)

welp, you decide this is your life now, follow Collei everywhere, talk one-sided to Collei until you can possess a forest ranger w/o it being suspicious (dont wanna turn the poor rangers into the terrified eremites from a week or two ago...)

then, after you get the courage and erase the paranoia that tighnari can just... somehow hear your ghostly bullshit-

u do the same to Tighnari (then Cyno when he visits! no u didnt squeal, so what, nobody can hear you- )

♧

Tighnari begins to get suspicious about 3 weeks into this routine.

he's been starting to collect and start a file on all the rangers or nearby villagers that've started randomly "blacking out/sleep walking" in the evenings usually

(u possess as close to nighttime as u can so it seems like sleepwalking)

So when Cyno comes back from a mission gone wrong,

having nearly been decapitated by a rogue flying ruin machine, only to black out and come to standing calmly 10 feet further than he remembered being 1 minute ago...

Tighnari's suspicions are confirmed, and he launches into researching this phenomenon.

his first thought is something like the aranara, but that doesn't account for the effect this thing is having on people

after all, what little forest spirit is strong enough to-

-control humans??

Tighnari begins to get the sense he's in over his head after he finds himself pushed into going into Sumeru City in order to collect more library books or ask around if the blackouts have spread to the city people

he answer is negative, on both accounts.

and he spends about one half of the day walking around, and the other reading up all he can on mythical creatures or ailments

Tighnari gives up for the day, and as he makes his way back to Ghandarvaville, he almost gets ambushed by some particularly nasty muggers

...and then he wakes up 20 feet away, his denro vision thrumming with power, full of worry and fondness for himself??, (just like Cyno said he felt happen to him..)

...Tighnari decides he needs reinforcements.

YOU GUYS-

UR LOCAL ZODIAC SIGN OBSESSED W/GENSHIN HIT A CHARACTER LIMIT ON A POST FINALLY. 😦

??? THIS WOULDVE BEEN LONGER BUT I BARELY GOT SPACE FOR THIS- I- EVEN THE QIQI POST DIDNT HIT LIMIT-

uh cya ig!!

Safe travels lmao,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist @revonie / @hat-on-a-cat / @takottai / @sickly-falling (?) / @iruiji

(Sorry about the late tag! I forgot to update my taglist before i posted this 💀 my bad guys)

Also if the people who got put there who i couldnt find a blog for see this, idk what went wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ - maybe check and see if ur setting for "being able to be searched/looked up" is turned on?? Idk man

[cur-sedd]

𝘌𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘵 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

here is a late christmas present. uhm ngl i was half alive writing this so if it doesnt make sense im sorry ㅠㅠ uhmm! yeah i tried smth new with the whole getting eaten out and fingering shit saurr bare with me 😭 idk if i wanna do vampire!txt or some soobie smut next rahh. i'll figure it out. MDNI!! NSFW content below ╰┈➤ hard dom (?) hyuka x fem!reader, hair tugging, getting eaten out-ovbi, fingering (bc i have an obsession), hints at over stimulation, begging, edging, not proof read, i think thats it, lmk if i missed anything

You gripped Hyuka’s hair as he made laps on your cunt. His perfect nose, stimulating your clit in ways you couldn't do yourself. You legs shook as you felt another orgasm make its way. You whine softly, pulling his hair more. Once you did so, Hyuka pulled his head back. “Baby, i told you to stop pulling my hair.” His voice echoed through the heated room as you huffed slightly. Great. Its been the third time Kai has done this to you. Its not your fault you cant keep your hands to yourself. You took your legs off of your boyfriend’s shoulders with a small click of your tongue. Kai continued to hold your legs up, admiring the mess he has made out of you.

You let out a sigh opening you mouth to counter back only for strings of curses to come right out. Hyuka harshly pumped his fingers in and out of your swollen cunt as you cried out. Your body shook slightly as you bit your lower lip, trying to stifle those angelic sounds “Let it out baby or i’ll stop.” Kai spat out softly, His hands started to slow down so you quickly spoke, brows pinched up slightly. “No- no please dont- mmph, dont stop.” You mumbled. A small smirk appeared on Hyuka's lips. It was strange how deceiving he was. Its like he has two different sides. He is so sweet, affectionate with you when he is around others. Going as far to play with your clothes, even pepper small kisses on your neck. But when he is the one begging you to go home with him because he got hard and needs you to satisfy him, he just completely switches up! Manhandling you, turning and throwing you around when he wants. Holding your arm up when he fucks you senseless.

The pace of Kai’s fingers only went quicker the louder you moaned. Your back arched as you jumbled your words of  “right there” “so good” and “gonna cum” along with a bunch of curses. You moved your body back slightly but Hyuka quickly pulled you back onto his fingers. “ ‘s too much baby-” You grunted softly, squeezing your eyes shut as he went at an unforgiving pace. You could barely even speak at this point with the amount of pleasure and overstimulation literally ruining you. Kai didnt respond to your words as he abused your cunt. You went from cursing to begging him to let you cum just once more like you didnt cum a few moments ago. And finally, he agreed. You slowly came down from your high as you chested heaved in and out heavily. Your shirt lifted right about your breasts from Kai’s earlier teasing. Suddenly, you felt a warm tongue clean you up at your core. You slowly shook your head with a slight furrow to your brows, giving Kai a playful glare. “Mm? It was only prep anyways baby! We haven't even started yet.” Kai chuckled softly, lifting his head from in between your legs, flashing his iconic smile.

Were you tired? Hell yes, but where you gonna stop him from making you feel so right? Nuh uh. He needed you so bad, and he knows you need him too. ૮₍˶ •. • ⑅₎ა

a/n: this was inspired by the answer the one and only @dearlyjun (sorry for the tag 😭) gave me when i sent her an ask a bit ago so hope yall like it 💞

[mxqdii]

can u write matt w/ gf who has depression bc of college? I'm literally living a nightmare rn and i need some fluff

a/n: if you ever need to talk my dms are open ml!! anyways hope you enjoy <33

take a break - m.s

pairings: matt sturniolo x reader

summary: reader is stressed cause of college and starts to break

warning(s): crying, stress, matt comfort

not proofread

getting into my dream college was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me

dont get me wrong, its great, and most people would kill to be where i am right now

but... i am mentally dying.

preparing for my SATs, going to work, hanging out with people,

its too much

not to mention, this week not only do i have to study but i have a big project due

its all just impossible

my phone rings and i get a bunch of looks, mumbling a few 'sorrys' as i leave the library

"hello?" i say, now in the hallway

"hi baby, are you okay?" my boyfriend, matt, asks

"oh hi matt! yeah, yeah im fine" i lie, feeling the tears brim my eyes at his question

"no you're not, talk to me, whats wrong?"

thats my breaking point

"i just- its too much matt, this is all too much, SATs, i have a project and- i just-" i try to get the words out, but fail, not making any sense

"hey, it's okay, listen to me, ill be there in 10 minutes okay? just go to your dorm and we'll figure it out okay baby?" he says and i sigh

"matt you dont have to-"

"im already on my way love" he says and i sigh

what did i do to deserve such an amazing boyfriend

i walk back to my dorm, wiping my tears as they fall

i unlock my door, seeing flowers and my favorite food laid out on the table

"hi baby" matt says, standing in front of me

"how- how?" i ask

"i've been here for an hour now, i was gonna surprise you later but you were upset so i thought it'd be better if you came now" he explains and my expression softens

"matt..." i say, walking up to hug him

"thank you, so much. i love you so much" i say as he rubs my back

"i love you more princess"

TAGLIST:

@opheliaofficial07 @stargirlv0id @strnilolo @annaisabookworm @theperson-nextdoor @prettysturniolo @its-jennarose @gottamakemyhatersmad @luvsturniolo

[pjsk-headcanons]

How did (some) characters find out they're gay

Ichika: in middle school, she listened to Magnet. Really. She was like "wait i can do that?" Then looked at Saki (since this is middle school) and her brain exploded.

Saki: she kind of. Always grew up talking about marrying girls and thought it was normal also until middle school when one day she just started thinking about it and went "oh. Yeah that makes sense" and kept going with her life, probably the first in leo/need to figure it out.

Honami: it was in high school because Saki kept flirting and the rest of leo/need just looked too damn gorgeous and she went through a whole crisis before reaching acceptance in like 30 minutes.

Minori: Haruka. Thats all.

Haruka: in middle school, Haruka wanted to figure out if she's gay so An had an idea, they could kiss, so Haruka would think of her feelings and realize them. So they kissed, Haruka thought it was nice but didn't have much more feelings about it so she thought she was straight. Years later she met Minori and oh, she was a fool.

Shizuku: she was too busy trying to make Shiho come out that she never really thought about herself, she knows it in some way but she never thought about it and never will, it'll take her like 2 years dating Airi for Airi to call them both lesbians and Shizuku stops like "wait I am? Wait wanting to kiss you is not normal??" (I know Shizuku is smart but come on she's an airhead + this is for funnies)

Kohane: An smiled at her the first time and I think her brain exploded in purple, blue and pink (bi) glitter. "Dads im bi" "SHE'S NOT STRAIGHT IM SO HAPPY" (i stole someone's headcanon with her having two dads sorry)

An: she spent half of her childhood saying she'd marry Nagi, and her street usually had a pride parade every june, so she just. Kind of always grew up knowing she liked girls? The shock was her finding out she's bi in high school.

Akito: a few weeks after meeting Toya he's just sitting on his room thinking about how cute the boy is and how his hand is so soft and how- oh shit Ena would make so much fun of him if she knew (she knew before he did).

Tsukasa: the boy has yet to figure it out, despite Saki trying to say he's gay every day. Give him a few more years. Or a Rui kiss. Both works.

Nene: somewhere in high school she looked at Emu, looked at Ichika, thought back on her little mermaid obsession with the actress and went ".. oh. oh"

Rui: probably kind of always knew, but he did have a time where he got confused bc he dated Mizuki for some time in middle school but then Mizuki came out as trans so he was like "... What if i only like girls and just had a really good radar?" Nah. He's just bi/pan

Mafuyu: once as a kid she mentioned she wanted to marry her elementary school best friend and Mafumom started talking about dishonor and that she cant and blablabla so she just locked that up. When Mizuki and Ena said something about liking girls and Mafuyu looked around at the feelings the three girls give her she just. remembered everything, both the feelings for that friend and her mom's talk. She started having a panic attack then because one girl was bad but THREE??

Mizuki: always knew she liked girls so it took the transition to call herself gay. However Rui did make her realize she also likes boys.

-anon anon

.

[desire-mona]

heard we were making house ocs and ive had a dingus floating around in my head since january so i FINALLY got around to actually making a proper ref sheet. i present my silliest

Dr. Nanette "Ninny" Amesbury :3

more under cut !

big warning lore n backstory n stuff is very bare bones and not all the way there cuz im #lazy

birthday is vague but lets go with ~35 circa s2

if i had a nickel for every oc i had who had absent parents and was raised catholic by their grandparents, id have two nickels. unintentional that it happened twice i sorta forgor the other one's lore for a bit and now its stuck so ummmmm sorry laney. wont be going into childhood bc i havent come up w that yet and honestly i dont care to!!! yada yada yada catholic guilt but not in the chase way bc she hasnt left the church n likely never will

ummmm relationship chart + template

lets just quick go over some relationship highlights cuz some are def more important than others

wilson: mr president a 4th ex wife has hit the james wilson. when were they married? ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 😁

but they were married for like. 3 years? YES it ended bc he cheated but nin also wasn't the best either her ass was literally never ever there she was ALWAYS at work (like more than normal doctor amounts of at work - only came home to sleep and even that was only 4x a week(also worked at a different hospital))

tw suicide for next part bee tee dub

a big part of the beginning of their relationship was (big surprise) wilson's attraction to what he THOUGHT was neediness but was literally just nin wanting (and trying) to kill herself lol. once the magic of all that went away (perceived independence thats rly just #bottling shit up) he was just kinda like oh :/ its not cool to have a mentally ill wife anymore :/ i was expecting ramona flowers :/ or whatever. so infidelity impact font, hijinks and moving away for [amount] years ensue before nin being hired at ppth as the head of pediatrics. brief fwb situation w wilson Again b4 she finds out shes a lesbian at the end of like. s2.

oh yeah she also tries to kill herself again once she figures it out (see catholic guilt mention) but its cool she lives

cuddy: GAAAAAYYYYY GAAAAYYYYYYY GAY!!!!! DR AMESBURY WANTS TO FUCK THIS WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its one sided tho boooooo cuddys briefly like Wait ? just b4 nin moves away at the end of s6 roughly but shes already. thats done its not happening.

kutner: dont even fucking talk to me. i dont wanna talk about it. im gonna talk about it.

so kutner (like the slut that he is lowkey but society isnt ready for that) asks nin out just after he gets hired and shes like ermmmmmmmmmm! but sensing his loser aura she (still deeply closeted) is like hey haha i dont swing that way sorry !!!!!!! but its ok they become super mega best friends and get nerdy together

i like to think they listen to weird al together OH YEAH NINS THE BIGGEST WEIRD AL YANKOVIC FAN IN NEW JERSEY

and then nothing bad happens!

if youve seen this post about the little writing things kutner got after he croaked then hooray here's nanettes

they make me so fucking upset.

anyway as i stated above nin moves away after s6 for a bunch of reasons. 1) thanks obama 2) a big part of what contributed to her suicidal ideations n such was the fact that deep down she didnt ACTUALLY know what she wanted to do w her life. u may be like she doesnt. want to be a doctor ? NO she doesnt thats just what she did to get money to eventually do what she wants. whatever that is. something something feeling lost in life and unable to reach a goal when u dont even know what the goal is something something. also persistent depressive disorder but like spoon in kitchen.

idk what shes gonna end up doing after she moves but id imagine she shows up for house's funeral so i cant just be like lol nobody gets to know! im thinking painter but idk IDK guys her lore is ROUGH

thats it if u have questions ill answer thanks

[kiwibongos]

warning for ab/se & toxic relationships. and sdr2 spoilers duh

im thinking abt the remnants of despair. cause i hate how it just seemed to be like, "theyre suddenly brainwashed and then they turn evilll and they kill because they dont feel anything" like, i hate that. it feels so underdeveloped. it cant just be despair, it has to be deeper than that, i think it'd take personal angles and link with a lot of their own trauma, leaving them really vulnerable and deranged. so heres my own interpretation and headcanons for some of them

contains mikan, nagito, fuyuhiko, peko, akane, kazuichi, and brief analysis of the rest. keep in mind i havent seen the animes yet lol so this is a basic layer of it, but i just rly wanted to let this out cus i dont see it talked about. storing my brainrot here for later moments.

first of all i feel like the brainwashing would be a very slow process bc junko would definitely just manipulate everyone in her way to get what she wants. and by the time the world was plagued basically, all the remnants clearly had really unhealthy feelings related to junko specifically. they all love her, hate her, or praise her, but its all in very different ways that would be bc of their own personal backstories

we all know how mikan and nagito feel. mikan was constantly hurt by other people before junko herself, itd make sense for her to develop a very unhealthy attachment to her. mikan was extremely vulnerable and controllable, she would do anything for anyone and especially junko, just so no one is mad at her, hence why it got so twisted to the point where she wanted to keep a part of her inside forever. she wanted to be loved so badly, she would take whatever form of it she could. thats why it was so easy for junko to get her under her boot. now nagito has an odd love-hate relationship with junko imo (his mind is so messed up man) even if he praises hope in such a grossly obsessed way, the mf still TOOK her arm. i know he did it because he hated her so much and i guess to take power back, but i feel like because nagito had never really been loved, he wanted to try and feel what it could've been like out of some kind of confused desperation and fondness for her in a way, because his mind has no idea what those feelings truly are or what they mean, as hatred and love often get mixed up in his head and form this horrible amalgamation with whoever he meets, which is clear towards the survivors in the nwp anyway

fuyuhiko put junko's own eye into his own socket, and i feel like his relationship with her while in despair would be familial and extremely unhealthy. he is definitely one of the most fucked up to me. id say by my own headcanons though its heavily implied in his fte dialogues, is his parents are very ab/usive right from the start. fuyuhiko is messed up to all hell, he was constantly struck and under pressure but he had to be strong and perfect because he was the head of his clan, hence like his insane tolerance for pain. he had to make his clan, or more importantly his parents proud, or else he was a failure forever. so he clung onto that and did his best trying to be good enough for basically anyone. and even before despair he was in a really bad stubborn, mean, depressive state, leaving him far more vulnerable and more open to violent, impulsive actions as long as junko was smart enough to get him under her finger. fuyuhiko never knew what true love felt like (platonic or not), and when junko took advantage of all of that and he slowly fell into despair, shit hit the fan. he lost morality and he had come so attached to her to the point where junko was like a mother figure to him. he wanted her to notice him and be proud basically, it was moreso the idea of someone-- anyone-- being proud of him, but junko was his main focus of that by now, given his state. to him she was like the mother he never had, who seemed to be on the same terms with everything he had believed, someone who approved of him, so he wanted to make her proud, even if it was hurting him. fuyuhiko would keep digging himself a hole of desperation and self destruction, seeking more and more pain to test his endurance because it's what she wanted, and that became what he wanted, too, because pain is all he's used to. and because of that, makotos guess was right; he wanted to see her despair. it'd make sense he'd want to take a part of her, to see horrors she had witnessed so he could understand it, so she could be proud of him and part of him forever. he felt like if he did that, he would finally succeed, he'd achieve perfection, and he did. he'd done everything junko wanted him to do, while quenching his own thirst for violence itself, all via his own delusions. that was love to him and it felt real

as for peko she was definitely also treated the same in the kuzuryu family but more dehumanized obviously, so i think she'd feel a similar way; always needing to be good enough, but more specifically protecting the ones she cares about at all costs even if it results in bloodshed. i think she'd be a lot colder, forcing to suppress her feelings since she just has to follow fuyuhiko wherever he goes, and she was pretty much as insane as him as well so anything slid. i know peko doesnt want to be a tool, but she'd definitely succumb to the fact that she has to be one when they're under despair at the same time, and if she was going to be his tool, she has to be like a robot and just do what follows, because she didn't see herself as a person, her chance of being her own human was ripped away

as for akane, she grew up very poor, and didn't live a good life at all either (w/ definitely bad parents) but she always tried her very best taking care of her siblings in the past, despite everything. i think there was a lot of twisted familial love with junko whom she started to see as a sister despite being unrelated, just because of being a caretaker all her life, its just kind of instinct to protect anyone, but that just got mixed up as she fell into despair, and she would only protect junko, while chaotically killing anyone else in her way. she'd fight for her endlessly, she was one of the strongest, at least for a while, im thinkin she found her body and wanted to preserve it as much as possible by the end of everything, she still wanted to take care of her and do everything for her even if she had been too late. and with that, and barely any food in an apocalyptic world, the inevitable happens. akane would fall into a very hurtful spiral of self hate, that her starving was a sacrifice to junko so she could prioritize her first instead of herself, while also it being like a punishment to herself for her own failures and how she was failing to preserve junko

kazuichi always hated himself. he was bullied often, didn’t have a lot of friends going into high school, and he was very desperate for attention, especially from women. he’d be very notably attached to junko which would eventually evolve into romantic feelings, similar to mikan. he craved attention and validation so much, it left him very vulnerable, and kazuichi often grows attached to people who show him a sliver of kindness anyway, so junko would likely personally manipulate him and praise him, and they’d grow close, and he’d develop a very strong attachment towards her that derails into love and lust. and once he was influenced by her under despair, he would do anything for her. so, he’d get his hands on a lot of weapons, and go on mindless killing sprees, causing havoc 24/7 just to please her and keep her memory alive through despair. and deep in his mind, he probably truly thought that junko was his soulmate, that they were destined to be together, and he was fulfilling missions just for her, and in the end, they could be together

extra stuff i guess? as anyone would expect, sonia just became a corrupted leader and took advantage of her power under despair. her kingdom would try to keep her above it, but she’d fall into it somehow anyway, and probably had already been plagued by corrupt/unjust views by junko before, so she’d lead her people to worship junko the same way she does, and anyone who stood against it would be punished severely. mahiru falls into morbid curiosity because of junko and gets worse, given what she does with her camera, also both mikan and gundham would try to stitch junko up a little, and try to keep her from falling apart as long as possible. mikan is more likely to do that for her own twisted romantic purposes, but if gundham gets a hold of her before or after mikan, he would take her blood for himself, and most likely start a cult to worship her, all for like weird satanic purposes involving rituals and stuff. he’d also encourage his members or the other remnants to indulge in certain activities for the sake of praising her. gundham would probably even believe she was some demon from the underworld who granted him powers and chose him to carry on her legacy

also teruteru was just a little hungry. boys gotta eat

[startagainaprologue]

Grins Ok well in that case the Equinox questions.

Are they a fusion of Siffrin and Mirabelle in terms of personality/memories/etc (steven universe style....) or is it more of a plural type situation (or something else entirely)

What caused Mira to give up along with Sif in the first place/how come they couldn't get outta the loops together?

How does she interact with Siffrin and Mirabelle?

I'd think of more questions but to be honest I'm being obliterated by the sun rn I'm just drastically curious abt your guy (I see the words Sif + Mira anything and my ears perk up like a dog)

(putting these together since they kind of tread similar ground)

i cannot really say for certain bc im not plural myself and such but. from what ive heard from friends while talking abt equinox thats kind of the situation happening. DEFINITELY not a steven universe situation. they share a body and. can hear eachothers thoughts (<- vvery disorienting at first. well i mean the everything was the universe jsut kinda scrambled them together and put them together in a human-ish mold) but still are both kinda separate in their head??? odd phrasing MY APOLOGIES.

2. This one is one im a bit unsure on..?? just having trouble figuring out the giving up together thing. was it still a mostly siffrin thing and mira got caught up in it as well? (<- would be a bit fucked idk if id go with that one, did a kind of jokey drawing abt it though) did they both agree to do it? gotta.figure it out...mmy au it was jsut born.

as for why they couldnt get out together i think its just.. idk with the way sasasap is idk even with two loopers if it was smth they couldve figured out the reason too. or well.they gave up before they could,, since i imagine not long after beating the king for the first time is when the giving up happens. bc. good lird. i would too man!

3. files this away under (things i gotta iron out more) bc. ouu. loop and mira r already kind of. characters i wanna try writing more bc i dont feel i got them down super well so combining them and making smth out of it proves. a challenge ! but i will try o7. a bit similar to canon loop in a way but.yknow.obv differences.. im trying to figure out whhoo their guiding though? bc ive rlly only just thought abt it being only siffrin but theres plenty of other ways to go abt it i think would be neat

SQUEAKS sorry if the phrasing here at all is odd but!!hope i made sense o7 IF U HAVE OTHER QUESTIONS SEND ME TO THEM ANYTIME I WILL CHEW ON THEM A GREAT AMOUNT. siffrin and mira mmy friends i do think abt them a lot. into the dimension with them

[anthroposeen]

tmagp 22 relisten notes

tmagp 22 spoilers below the cut! proceed with caution! this is a longer one!

scene:

this is a continuation of the night of episode 20 and 21, judged by gwen and lena's conversation and sam's confrontation of alice

celia:

- she repeatedly throws hooks at sam to get him more interested in the magnus institute, the opposite of alice's approach to this. rather than encouraging ignorance, celia pushes sam towards curiosity.

- "i might have come across some important names ... jonathan sims and martin blackwood." girl you literally met them! aside from the obvious implications (that celia is from the TMA universe and is referring to the people she met in that dimension) she could also be referring to the tmagp-verse jon and martin. so far, we dont know anything about them, so they coukd have been involved with the institute (though this may be unlikely, considering their ages would be different to that of tma)

sam:

- he noticed that someone edited his caseload, and confronts alice about it

- "youre trying to control me, again" -> interesting because it gives us insight to their past relationship, and why they might have broken up

- "im done trying to placate a jealous ex" sam seems to be interpreting alice's actions as purely made out of controlling and jealousy. from his perspective, she cant get over him, and has been disrupting his work to regain a place in his life.

- sam is a person whos been heavily controlled in his past, we know that his parents shaped his education and career paths and we can infer that his relationship w alice ended poorly bc of her controlling behaviors. it makes sense that hes not willing to sacrifice freedom once he has it

- "im in. all the way.", this is the first time since the series started that sam has thrown himself fully into this investigation. every other time he was confronted with it, he would claim to be moving on or uninterested. but now, hes accepting that hes involved with it.

alice:

- she admits to sam that she edited his caseload, and that she believes the computer is intentionally giving him cases related to the magnus institute

- she says that shes stuck around the OIAR because its easy money if you can ignore the bad qualities, and she enjoys having the seniority. shes been the only steady employee for a long time, and has the most experience, so she has a place of value in this job and she enjoys that trust and authority. she thought that by training sam, she could teach him how to ignore the creepy stuff like her, and she would be less alone

- she also comes off as upset that sam is choosing to continue his investigation with celia, both ignoring alice's advice and choosing celia over her

lena:

- she appears upset that gwen ran away from both ink5oul and [error]. she refers to [error] as "the watching figure", but thats based on gwen's description of the entity. i dont think lena actually knows about the entity (after all, its very new to the scene), she was just using gwen's description as its title for now

- "you didnt get any contact details from them?" this referring to [error], not ink5oul, further showing that lena isn't familiar with them

- gwen's behavior has convinced lena that she cant be trusted to interact with the externals and keep the situation calm. so far, she's been prone to instigating more conflict with them and has now actually harmed a civilian in the process (the man that ink5oul ripped apart).

- she claims that she doesnt want gwen to die, but her death would be simpler to manage than a dead bystander and 2 "uncontrolled" externals. here, she refers to both ink5oul and [error] as externals, despite them not working for the OIAR. this might be the tmagp-verse equivalent of avatars. she also puts emphasis on them being uncontrolled, implying that under the management of the OIAR, externals exhibit different behaviors, or are less likely to be disruptive. (im betting that externals without management are more likely to tip the balance of things)

- she doesnt seem concerned about gwen's blackmail, so either gwen doesnt have that evidence anymore, or lena doesnt think that gwen will go through with her threat

- she removes gwen from her duties as externals liaison, but allows her to still have the title, but also offere her the opportunity to quit. this is the first time quitting is brought up in this episode, still under the guise that it is possible, yet gwen denies the offer.

- references a "ministerial visit", so we'll finally be meeting lena's boss, potentially the man who colin would mention (the man who wants the OIAR to have a functional app, and colin suspects him of also supervising them)

- lena is married! (to me)

gwen:

- "i see what you're doing. you wont get rid of me that easily." she seems dead set on holding on to this position despite hating it and continuously complaining about it. i dont think she cares about the work that they do, shes moreso focused on climbing the ranks to earn respect, and not having respect from the externals or lena is deeply upsetting her

- instead of fighting harder to keep her role, gwen accepts her demotion (though she seems upset about it) and goes so far as to almost be polite to lena, "of course, mrs. kelley" after this interaction it feels like gwen might be intimidated by lena

incident:

narrated by augustus at sam's terminal

- letter from dr. berger detailing the results and descriptions of his recent experiments with the human mind and consciousness

- he was experimenting on a man with a skull deformity, which allowed him to measure pressure, cognition, and electricity shifts within the brain. he was inserting wires directly into the man's skull to take measurements

- after feedback from a fellow dr, he switched to using silver wires in the subject's skull. he measured the electrical output of the subject and received encouraging results.

- dr. berger read on the concept of the hemispherical bridge and the center of self, a collection of fibres near the middle of the grain, which can separate the left and right sphere and create differing consciousness within one body

- he inserted the silver wires directly into the subject's brain, positioned to find the hemispherical bridge.

- the subject was asked questions about himself, such as who he was and what he wants. this disrupted the normal electrical readings, though the subject seemed undisturbed.

- dr. berger experiences a dream where below him is a deep ocean full of "dark secrets", where above him flew radio signals that were "unknowable". he laments that these two things will never meet, emphasizing a separation and balance in their natures

- the dr created a new device to read the electrical signals from the subject's brain, which resulted in the telegraph mechanism clicking. each time he asked a question, the clicking would increase, though his verbal answers didn't change.

- while he was playing with the telegraph waiting for the rest of the equipment to be set up, he started asking the questions again. this time, there was a pause of silence before the clicking began again. the clicking responses increased in intensity

- his wife and assistant, ursula, dropped equipment and looked scared, asking if he could hear 'the sound'

- after this, the subject began to seize and scream in agony as the telegraph increased in intensity. the moment the subject died, the telegraph stopped

- upon reviewing the tapes and records of his experiment, discovering the ominous answers of the subjects split consciousness

- upon asking what the subject wants, it says "help, need, help out, we out" and as this response continues, augustus's narration rises in intensity.

glitches/lies:

- "its probably the horrendous porn you've been downloading." - alice, lying to sam about why his computer must be messed up

- "i can look after myself." -sam

extra comments:

- the biggest takeaway from this episode for me, is that jmj are likely conscious inside of the computer system, and are experiencing this consciousness in a disjointed and painful way. they seem to be speaking to the OIAR employees and audience with the answers to dr. berger's questions, pleading to be helped and let out.

- this statement also goes to support a small theory im working on, that most of the incidents we've heard pertain to balance and separation of self. excepting the incidents that resemble tma statements or provide character information, many of the cases we've heard revolve around forces finding balance or there being a separation of forces at play. i think this will tie in to the grand ritual that the magnus institute attempted, and how the ties to alchemy will be expressed, since finding balance seems to be the center of many operations within the tmagp universe.

- i fear that im biased, since ive kinda disliked celia from the beginning (and i do mean the very beginning, i never liked lynne hammond) but i feel like she's intentionally dragging sam into the investigation without considering if thats beneficial for him. and i dont trust her motives. i dont think this makes her evil or an unsympathetic character- shes been put into a very complicated situation where there likely isnt a simple good solution. but i dont trust her to be involving sam for any 'good' reasons, especially since we know shes hiding information from both him and the audience (im not referring to her being from a differebt universe, i mean that she knows more about the institute and alchemy than shes letting on).

- i think that the ministerial visit that lena references will be the major event in the season finale. it would make sense for there to be an incident during the visit that results in some sort of conflict (im betting that it will involve either colin interfering with the computers, an external that has poor relations with the OIAR (ink5oul, [error]), or gwen's blackmail coming to fruition)

- i also think that we may see/meet tmagp-verse jon and martin before the season ends (assuming they're alive), this would normally feel rushed, but this series has been decently fast paced in terms of revealing leads, so we may be getting a tease for that

[baylardo]

pasting this from google docs lmao editing a bit

trying to come up with nameeeesss

i got two species obvs: moth aliens and bat aliens,,, both dont have names i am broken

**moth aliens**

-had a ggggeneral idea of them being telepathic/having healing/prolonged life/free of disease properties. my thought was that peppa acquires baby before it is a baby and is in fact a pod/egg that senses/imprints/bonds to her and hatches lol. (figure the pod/egg is kinda like cryostasis for infants, sustains them but is effectively ageless and baby will gestate in it but will not be born/start aging until it “hatches”) also thought maybe baby would heal her if she gets injured at some point. maybe the antennae glow when theyre using their powers. antennae glow with heightened emotions too, less controllable when theyre younger. Also figured the antennae grow as they age; moss has lil baby caterpillar size ones rn, but they get bigger like a moth’s when he’s older.

-white/pale in scheme. my intent was to have them be like a trek species that still has "human" skin colors, just a little extra on their foreheads, i.e. antennae. maybe do something unique with their eyes? i didnt want them to have wings or extra arms.

-i thought IF they had winglike features, theyd be more like, technological inventions that respond to their brain patterns and extend from their backs when they wear certain clothing/suits. had a vague idea of them being kinda like, "light" and glowing. idk if ill do this, its like unnecessary lore that doesnt even apply to a baby lol. Maybe solar powered??? their whole planet is fueled by stars as it drifts in and out of their orbit

-liked the idea of silky clothing, dont know how to visually accomplish this yet in a way that seems "alien"

-also probably omnivorous? for contrast w/ the bats…..

-my meek little worldbuildy lore for them is that they're like, an advanced civilization and progressed rapidly in response to their planet's star reaching some stage of unsustainability for their planet. so they construct the ability to break their planet from orbit and it's effectively a planet-sized ship that houses their entire population (not fast, likely cannot go to warp, but it's a drifting planet). i figure its like, not huge for a planet lol, but still big. they somehow constructed this huge shielding technology/dome that surrounds the planet and makes it look like a big black orb but can pinch/extend itself to let light from passing stars in or protect the planet from debris. At the cost of this, theyre not super savvy on actual starships and are actually rather “grounded.” theyre also just VERY dependent on solar power as its how they sustain themselves and their planet-ship.

-I think the moth aliens are a bit naive/sheltered so like, maybe when i say “telepathic” its like, they see the best in people, but maybe not everything??? Idk get back to me on that one haha i had the idea of baby Moss digging philippa’s vibe and thats why he hatches/bonds to her. (((i also thought maybe its a maternal thing going on with philippa,,,,,,,,,,, WELL SEE))))

**bat aliens**

-to accompany the moth alien “lore”, this part’s still vague for me in my head bc its not fitting perfectly yet lol. But my current thought i dont 100% like is that the bat aliens are another civilization of aliens drifting in space aboard a starship this time so their numbers are drastically smaller. Theyve come from a similar situation but are way less smart so their planet became uninhabitable (another dying star maybe? I figure they sympathize with their plight) and they were forced to abandon it in search of a new home. the moth aliens let them land on their planet and they end up taking the bat aliens in and coexisting.

-Bat aliens end up like, substantially growing in numbers, maybe they have litters of children where the moth aliens’ babies take significant time to hatch SHRUG. And this is where im kinda like uuuuuuuh????? VERY PRONE TO CHANGE Like my thought was that somehow somewhy the bat aliens start using moth aliens’ blood for infusion type stuff at first, but it ends up exposing these perks to their biology of like, heightened brain function, maybe the lowkey telepathic abilities, etc. methinks bat aliens’ impression is that theyre looked down upon and its a way to rise above their cohabitants or w/e. stuff behind the scenes starts going down, moth aliens start mysteriously vanishing/dying, certain bat alien figures start rising into power, they kinda suppress the moth aliens, they start dwindling in numbers. Idk timewise how long it takes for all of this to go down, but their civilization eventually gets wiped out. Whether or not theyre all aware of what they’re infusing into themselves idk i havent really thought of the specifics other than like, the bat aliens that have been living off of it for generations are getting progressively changed in appearance and take on a lot of the moth aliens’ features/traits. it could be that only the higher ups in the society know the secret as theyre the ones with direct access to doling out the supply to their civilization.

-i could easily change what ive made with these guys ngl im PRETTY dissatisfied with my attempts lmao. But initially my visual thoughts for them are they’re scavengers, darker color schemes where its obvious they havent had sunlight on them in a long time, id wanted to give them features that would easily contrast with that of the moth aliens so its more like, blatantly obvious that theyve begun adopting their physical traits i.e. having whiter fur, developing little antennae, maybe their eyes change, etc.

-i also figured theyd have started off as having protruding fangs to blatantly show that theyre more genetically inclined to be carnivorous, but the ones that are infusing moth blood like, still HAVE fangs but theyre smaller. And because of their altered biology likeeee, meat isnt as appetizing to them now.

-ALSO didnt want wings for these aliens,, just want humanoid,,,,, i thought maybe going more gargoyle in their natural state and they straighten out their posture with the moth blood lol. But idk its vague and messy. :^)

[is-on-its-way]

my problem with iwtb... I think?

Okay Im not sure Im eloquent enough to meta my feelings on this topic, I also havent seen enough past season 8s finale to really have perfect opinions on this, but from the clips I see on here and reddit etc. I have issues I need to work out…  

There is something about the characterisation of Mulder in IWTB that really annoys me. And please correct me if Im wrong on his motivations. Usually my protest is the mistreatment of Scully. But in this case I think theres a certain mistreatment of Mulder’s character that really irks the shit out of me. 

Firstly Mulder comes off as Tom Brady in this movie. So single minded and stuck in his ways he couldn’t possibly figure out how to live his life without the one thing that he thinks makes him successful or that he lives for. Two things... its the wrong obsession (more on that in a moment) and this is the opposite of where his character has been hurtling since he met Scully so as written it makes no sense.

The thing mulder was obsessed with and searching for since he was 13 years old was solved. He got his answer when he found out what happened to his sister. He was freed from his lifelong quest. He even was ready to give the agent thing up in the s7 finale, telling Scully the price had been too high and she needed to stop. Meaning he would also be stopping, bc he never wanted to do it without her. Sure he wanted to keep fighting in 8 to protect his baby, but they got rid of the baby atp, so Im not gonna get into that rn.

Turning him into the FBI agent ghost of Tom Brady was… a choice. Throwing away the love of his life, the one who believed him, the one who listened and supported him and loved him back endlessly for what? To help the organisation that tried to murder him? No. I just dont really believe it at all, because it's just not believable. 

Secondly, would he maybe have a midlife crisis? Sure. Would he be lost or depressed? I could absolutely see it, they lost a child found out the aliens were taking over earth. Would Scully commit him rather than leave him alone in that house? For sure. And it would’ve apparently been the culmination of the plot line Morgan and Wong had worked towards since the beginning... 

Realistically, he might've been lost for a while with the end of the quest for his sister. I get it, you work your entire life for something and its always just within reach and when you finally accomplish it, you think well what now? You’d thought, you’d held onto the fact that when you got to the top of the mountain you would feel happy and accomplished and relieved. But when you turn around at the summit from the horizon of the breadth of your work, youre met with yet another peak ahead. Some other goal, some other thing that occupies your mind because thats what your mind is used to.

You’re just going to have a really hard time convincing me for Mulder it was searching for proof of Aliens in random magazines, (when he knows there are aliens and they have invasion plans) instead of preventing the 2012 thing, publishing actual papers under his Luder pseudonym, and making sure Scully knew how much he loved her as his family had never done for him, making sure he made Samantha proud and lived the life she missed once he let her memory rest. 

Thirdly he is intelligent, a psych major with alien superpowers, who graduated from Oxford. Would he be bumbling around making paranormal magazine collages a la Charlie Kelly when he ALREADY knows the endgame? Would he be dealing with random cases and helping the FBI who betrayed him and put him on death row?

Or would he be using Marita Covarrubias and his apparent new power to speak to the dead to try and stop the invasion by any means necessary? Would he be combing over Maritas paperwork, medical records, UN contacts, payment histories to find, like all those bees in Tunisia for example? Would he not be having Scully research this magnetite thing and getting papers written about its properties so that when the hybrids make themselves known there would be literature for people to find? or engineering an anti bee-virus virus? (damn those effing bees btw) Would he not be using every power of his beautiful mind to continue fighting in any way he could, fully of the reservation? 

And could Scully then rightly say don’t bring that darkness into our home? Because my answer would be no. Even if she did go back to being a medical doctor (Im going to ignore the surgeon part because its out of character and would take her redoing residency etc. lets labor under the impression she’s a family doctor or ER doctor). They were right about one thing, the darkness follows them, and would still even if they both stopped looking. Thats the show after all.

Would she maybe have wanted a vacation where he could row her to a deserted island in the adirondacks? Sure. Would she be okay with letting an alien invasion happen in 2012 and saying to Mulder stop fighting? No. When one of them quits the other supports and encourages them back to the mission. Thats the show. If anything Scully having the breakdown about that darkness would’ve made more sense.

Anyway my point being, the transition from Mulder fighting for the big picture to him being a sad shell of himself in his hoarder office, telling Scully they weren't meant to be together is... jarring to say the least, and nonsensical. 😔