#but im only starting lol
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'We go together!' 🤝
#team fortress 2#tf2#tf2 fanart#tf2 medic#tf2 heavy#trying out a slightly diff line approach and rare time where i draw them with their canon-ish heights#the working title for this was medic saying that this is the start of a beautiful situationship lol#i've only just learnt the word and now like a true millenial im (mis)using it everywhere#ONE DAY ill look at reference and learn how to draw arms and hands#i have covid (AGAIN!!!!) this is like my 9th time now RIP so sorry for being quiet i'll answer my messages VEERY SOON
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Turbo Granny blunt rotation WIP
#for a class assignment due todayyyy#still gotta edit the fucking 600 word description yuck#and write another essay for a different class#and read another manga chapter for that class#and do makeup readings/hw for my mesoamerican art history class plus the readings/hw for this week#and i haven't been sleeping more than like 4 hrs a night cause i started a new medication#which also gives me evening heart palpitations lol#and im skipping class to finish as much as i can#but eventually ill clean this up and color it!#eventually#hopefully#next term i snagged a spot in the only 2D animation class this stupid college has ever had#and set up my schedule to only take up 3 days despite having 4 classes#and hopefully 2 of said classes will be pretty easy#ones a 1x a week gardening thing and the others an online design class#i wanted to leave lots of time to animate#dandadan#turbo granny#animation#fanart#dandadan fanart#character turnaround#art#digital art#artists on tumblr#trans artist#my art#my animations#krita#tw drugs
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
#spilled ink#writeblr#personal#please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it#i really try not to write so specifically about it#bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child#i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years#i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum#and if u say ur autistic#inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms#please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do#and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find#the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic#someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.
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Prompt 185
No one could get into contact with Constantine.
Now usually that wasn’t that big of a deal, the man constantly disappeared for a few days at a time doing something or other, but he’d been completely silent and unseen for months. Usually he’ll at least answer a call to tell them to fuck off or something.
And they really need his expertise and are getting incredibly worried for their grumpy team member. Yes he’s an asshole, but he’s their asshole, y’know? And he has a habit of getting into Situations (sure he also usually gets out of them, but what if he didn’t this time?!)
So they’re desperate. Kind of really desperate. Desperate enough to use the summoning sigil they found on his fridge. They’d checked it, multiple times, and it should summon the hellblazer.
“You’re not Constantine.” .
The white-haired teen in the circle yawned, stretching and blinking at them blandly with familiar blue eyes before sighing. “Actually I am,” he stuffed his hands into his hoodie as he looked down at the summoning circle. “Well, technically just one of the many Laughing Magicians currently in the Realms.”
He gave a grin, looking more amused than annoyed. “Pretty much every one of us is in the Realms right now for family reunion lol. (Did he just say lol out loud??) So like, you’re gonna have to specify which of us you’re tryin’ to summon. Honestly perfect timing for me thanks, the fruitloop keeps flirting with John and it’s horrific so.”
… That was probably their John, wasn’t it…
#dcxdp#dpxdc#prompts#The Constantine Family exists for fucking over entities & manipulating luck#They adore this scrappy halfa who is doing the same with twice the feral#Danny: Yeah I’m like the changeling child that ended up in the middle of them and they just kept me for the laughs lol#Danny: I’m not allowed to join in the drinking competitions#Danny: Oh no it’s not a responsibility thing; alcohol doesn’t affect me and they say it’s cheating#Why Yes Vlad IS flirting with their Constantine#He’s started his redemption but let’s be honest he’s also a con-man & John is all for fucking over the rich#Danny is disgusted at how well they’re getting along and wanted to get away from their flirting while everyone else ribbed at em#Hence why when they all felt the summoning he decided to go#Well that and also for the laughs because he’s learning magic Undead Constantine style#”Fuckin 'ell yeah the family 'as a necromancer in 'he line again look a' 'im go!” (Lots of ghost & living people drunken cheering)#Danny only half fucking with people: Yeah I’m like their collective undead fae child lmao#danny fenton#john constantine
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the way u tuck charles hair behind his ear like a dainty elf princess whenever u draw him sends me every time, i know erik would agree 🙏🏻
i fear im adopting 'dainty elf princess' into my vocabulary here on out thank you for this wonderful gift anon
might you accept my small gift in turn ... i was inspired ...
#mcu#xmen movies#xmen#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#my god the image is so small plesae click/tap it to look at it thank you#MY FIRST CLASS THIS MORNING GOT CANCELLED irony. we call that irony.#but yah thats why i offer you ... a small token of my appreciation ... for i had a liiil extra time today#if i didnt control myself i prob coudlve accidentally turned this into a whole page but we practice restraint around here#actually i started this last night and only finished it this moring. after the class i actually had of course#because i severely underestimate how slow i work lol but anyway ..... //giggles and kick my feet//#i love drawing so much i get to draw whatever i want and giggle and kick my feet all day about it#i havent made a comic in a while .. even if its just a short one like this oooh i miss it .. i love drawin comics ft gay people#there somethin special bout tuckin someones hair behind their ear... while they have hair anyway...#thank you very much for liking how i draw charles as a dainty elf princess i'll continue to do as much until i die !!!!!!#im eating tho. i didnt eat yet and its like lunch time BYYYYYEEEEE
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“First Word” 💙💙
made a comic to express the relief and joy sonic felt when talia finally spoke for the first time once she became more comfortable. [read from left to right]
#art#my art#artists on tumblr#izuart#izzy oc#talia the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#ultimate lifespawn au#sonadow#sonadow fankid#sonic fankid#sth fankid#fankid au#sonic art#sth art#oc#original character#talia sealed her voice off as a response to her memory loss and as a response to a traumatic event back at opus (the lab)#but slowly she started to open up and try to speak more this was the first time she ever said a word#both sonic and shadow were concerned but patient with her and wanted her to speak only when she was ready#sonic and shadow would teach her the names of people and ofc how to identify them as dad (sonic) and papa (shadow)#sonic figured why not see if she’ll say it today#he had done this before only to be met with silence and accepted that she wasn’t ready so you can imagine the shock and relief and joy#he felt here for sure hehe#anyways I love them#lore treat for you guys#IM FREE AFTER DAYS OF WORKING ON THIS BUT THE PARASITES WOULDNT LET ME GO LOL SO I HAD TO FINISH
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Alex and my farmer Cosmo (he/him)
#my replacement pen came in today ican finally start working on artfight attacks YAYYYYY#ive been clawing at the walls itching to get my ideas out for weeks#i drew alex with wavy hair in the second drawing bc i got his dialogue where he stops using hair gel and i hc he has naturally#wavy hair ^_^ i think it goes well with him softening up as u get to knw him.. now im just trying to work up the courage to give#him a bouquet lol. i keep flip flopping on whether i wanna play this file thru my oc or just fuck it and go self insert#but i like building little ideas in my mind for how my farmer would fit in pelican town and how they run their farm so i think ill keep thi#an oc thing. i have another file on pc since 1.6 isnt released for mobile yet so thatll be my self insert thing where plan on#shooting my shot with harvey. HES CUTE.. I LIKE HIM#cosmo seems pretty deadpan but only bc hes hardly fazed by anything and after working at joja for like 4 years. hes#desperate to touch grass. i think his personality would bounce off well with alex's since he comes off as arrogant to get a reaction#frm others and then u have cosmo whos like 😐👍. i like to think itd drive him up the wall LOL#he gets more of a reaction out of cosmo when he shows him his soft side which encourages him not to front all the time <3#my art#myart#my oc#oc#sdv farmer#sdv oc#stardew valley#sdv#sdv alex#alex mullner#doodles
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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saw @teamingmate 's terror au pathologic posts and uh i may have started spiralling a bit
#hope you dont mind me tagging you hhh :')#my art#pathologic#artemy burakh#daniil dankovsky#clara saburova#patho terror au#burakovsky#i think thats the tag#do i put it in the main tag.......fuck it#the terror#gotta confess i only know patho classic from videoessays#i did start playing patho2 recently but thats gonna be slow going because. im bad at videogames lol#also a scaredy cat#clara's uniform is probably not rank appropriate but i just really wanted to draw her in hickey's grave digger fit
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so i started playing fnv for the first time recently
#juno.png#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#yes man#im having a great time btw. but also i only started playing for him#so im enjoying the main quest but im also like haha wow what if we ran off into the desert together.... haha...#i downloaded a companion mod for him but i havent had the chance to actually try it yet bc i gotta boot mr house first lmao#for. unrelated reasons hes become a huge blorbo of mine in the last couple weeks and i expect to go on a couple fun adventures w him lol#so ill probably be drawing him more soon... maybe i will get better at drawing him lmfao
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#can u guess what i started reading lol#IM ONLY ON EPISODE 1 NO SPOILERS#umineko#shannon umineko#wtc#my art#fanart
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Director of the False Last Act
#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv spoilers#han sooyoung#art i made#another of the drawings i fished out of my drafts that i completely forgot id started#if the face doesnt look like how i usually draw hsy uh. i apparently did the lineart like 4 months ago#and the way i used to draw her was WAY different#like i had to redo the face cuz i was like man this aint my girl wtf#oh yeah the sort of. watsonian reason why the title of the book shes holding is scrubbed out is bc it could either be twsa or orv i guess#the doylist reason is i couldnt decide between twsa or orv so now its neither LOL#side note but like. intellectually i know the thousand hand guan yin is like an actual thing in buddhism but my familiarity with it is#mostly from the dance move#so like as i was colouring this i was just imagining hsy like creating this pose in universe w the avatars which. one hell of an image#only two of the hands are supposed to represent like specific points in the story the rest are just. symbolic...?#the lemon candy one is obvious and the knife one is meant to be from when she stabs 49!kdj in the epilogue#also holy god im so bad at coming up with backgrounds for this kind of art#the original background i had i think i was trying to make it look like some kind of. book cover...? hence the borders#whatever it was it wasnt working#now i have no idea what its supposed to be 👍 like its giving. poorly designed tarot card
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master artist and his number one fan
guy who is being so normal about the new additions to their profiles. i think abt midoris initial infatuation with his art slowly developing into appreciating yuzuru himself as a person and idol to the point he worries about how he sees him (ex: a bit of home party and in workplace survival rules) sometimes thats a lie i think about it a lot. and yuzuru learning to enjoy art just for the sake of drawing!! seeing the lets try diy story where he doesnt even refute drawing on midoris desk and was only worried that his doodles might cover up the mascot design compared to how discouraged he usually would be in earlier ! stories. everything to me i adore their dynamic if that wasnt obvious by *gestures to basically everything*
and happy pride month 🏳🌈
#sorry for that last bit in the end (im really not)#minicomic tag#duck scribbles#enstars#midoyuzu#midori takamine#yuzuru fushimi#yuzumido#ensemble stars#ive been wanting to draw this one out for ages now or2 finally somewhat free#i would have typed all that out in the tags like i usually do but this commentary is necessary#was going through my old art and wow its been a while. redrew a few stuff from a bunch of them too for this :'] if you can spot them#kinda a fun look back on how ive improved over time too... thank you for giving me a drive to draw like no other#it cannot have been that long. was so sure my energy wouldve died off maybe a few months in but unfortunately it shows no signs of ceasing#also appreciation specifically for my beloved ducky for letting me word vomit a lot of my ideas to him LOL ily#ive drawn them so much now that theyve joined the ranks of my most used tags that pop up as suggestions when i start to type. wtf#was supposed to only work on this on the side between sketching up merch designs but i got too into it. i never learn
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it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.
yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.
it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.
how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.
chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?
how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.
"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.
i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.
#writeblr#warm up#i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books#(just started book 4)#and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!!#(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. )#anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild#but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild???#so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning#and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go#anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct#i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers#i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page.#here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once#it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because#when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area.#i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that#a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN#who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends#i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!
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If I think about the double standard and the disparity with which the media handled Daniel in comparison to everyone else I may lose my mind.
#i genuinely feel like im in bizarro world. karun chandok the fucking donkey being like:#“you have to feel for checo . he was doing so well in sq1 :( ”#in comparison to the way they viciously circled around daniel for medicore performances let alone bad ones#similar with Naomi just now. i cant believe im gonna defend Perez in the same breath but for her to say;#“Lawson has done everything to deserve checos seat. he has ticked all the boxes” ????? bitch what boxea are you talking about?#she literally said the only thing he needs to work on is his “temperament” would love to know what shes on lol#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LAZENBY HES SUCH A DUMB FUCKING RATTTTTTT#the way hes like “why is Lawson getting so much heat for complaining about sergio? Yuki has been doing it for years!”#well yuki has been in the 'Junior team' for 4 years now#what the everloving fuck is going on in the sport#obviously we all know how the media shapes the narrative but its genuinely still so jarring to see the standard they held daniel to#and the callousness with which they treated him
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hermann thoughts: if i discredit newton and his approach enough, the martial won't give him the equipment for his kaiju drift, and i can protect him from himself. if he despises me for it, so be it. there is little i wouldn't sacrifice to see him safe.
newt thoughts: this is a Best Science competition and i have to Win
#unscientific aside#newmann#pacific rim#thinking about them again today#it's very easy to read hermann's animosity during the movie as him being pissed off at newt for his 'completely crazy'#theories getting attention + being a massive nuisance in general#that's exactly what it looks like if you just listen to WHAT he's saying#however if you pay attention to WHEN he says it & pay attention to his face when no one is looking it's very clear there's more going on im#like the kaiju entrails comment. newt has all these tables with guts set up right next to the line & has clearly been working there for age#theres a big pile of intestinal-looking tubes over on hermann's side of the floor already! not a peep from hermann!#but then when newt tries to join the conversation he happens to throw another little squidgy bit & suddenly hermann jumps on him about it#brings up in front of the marshall how CONSTANT this unprofessional conduct is while also cutting newt off#he physically puts himself between newt & pentecost#interrupts newt every time he tries to talk#starts making snarky little personal comments AT newt to discourage him - 'don't embarrass yourself' 'yes [just get to the point]'#'this is the point where he goes completely crazy' [significant look at newt]#keeps hovering in the background looking between newt & pentecost#like. ok he is SO MAD that newt is getting pentecost's attention here. obviously#the thing that does it for me though is how sad and resigned he looks when newt finally does get to the point#this is not the face of an angry rival#this is the face of a man with ulterior motives for his animosity#i dont think newt has any ulterior motives hes aware of lol he thinks hes in a movie about 2 geniuses vying for scientific superiority#happens to be in love with hermann but hasnt realized because hes so mad at him all the time#he only realizes how much hermann cares when he offers to drift with him
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