#but im not being silly genuinely what i do do here
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help i was groomed 2yrs ago by some fucking family friend identical twin and one of them was weird and the other was chill? sorta? i mean he's 5yrs older and had a crush on a literal child and ive had both of them blocked since then but my new phone unblocked all contacts for some reason and the chill-ish reached out again and wants to be friends
send help what do i do
#silly talks#but im not being silly genuinely what i do do here#idk if i can trust him whatsoever#oh also the twins have a younger brother who's my age that also had a crush on me#and it was horrifying#i told him i was gay (I'm bi) and he staright up said#āi can turn you straight don't worryā#the chill ish one said that he had a crush on me and when i rejected he accepted and moved on but he also helped his twin groom me#overall horrid experience 0/10 would never recommend#luckily they live in another country on the other side of the world#what do i dooooo
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dude it literally means so much to see you drawing seb art and using the ref me and zerum made, iāve been a huge, huge fan of yours for a long time and the AHIT aus you did still mean so much to me!!! I sometimes come back here and read through them now and then LOL
please continue the seb brainrot itās literally amazing and we love to see it
#this is crazy thank you so so genuinely#im just here to have fun and play with him like a barbie doll#its crazy to hear that some of yall have been following me for that long#great job on the game congrats on him being this year's hit tumblr sexyman i find him very entertaining and silly#sorry for what im gonna do to him (im gonna blend him in the blender)#perhaps nature IS healing#god it really warms my heart to know people think so fondly of those old aus#sometimes i feel a little self conscious about how hard i lock in during a hyperfixation#but it makes so happy that other people still enjoy them after all this time#play 9 sols
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sequel to this ramble cause the way james talks bout the reduced cherik scenes throughout the xmen films in this video is making me want to kill people. 'we'll always have paris darling' what if we all blew up.
#xmen#xmen first class#xmen dofp#xmen apocalypse#xmen dark phoenix#cherik#snap chats#im gonna be sick ive rewatched this like five times#IM STILL PISSED AWF AND THEN HEARING HIS COMMENTARY ABOUT IT OUUUUGGHHHH#OOOH WHAT IF I THREW ROCKS#LIKE WHAT THE HELL WAS CUT. aside from that gorgeous 'where are you doing' scene in first class ofc BUT WHAT ELSE#im forced to believe there was a make-up and/or hate sex scene in dofp because wdym they were worried about censorship#LIKE WHAT. WHAT DID THEY CUT. CAUSE CENSORSHIP OVERSEAS IS ONLY FOR EXPLICITLY QUEER THINGS INNIT#maybe paris can be our always i hate it here NO I LOVE HOW THE PARIS BIT IS EVEN /THEIR/ COPE#LIKE PLEAAAAASSE im throwing up. maybe if i draw cherik ill feel better#on the real its genuinely so sad. like even outside of shipping this is still art being reduced#and what we have is still good but the thought that it coudlve been BETTER ...#again their connection is already good from what we have in the final but just ... the lost emphasis of it all if that makes sense#ESPECIALLY outside of first class and dofp- like their relationship really is so sparse in DP and apocalypse its so sad#i think what makes it esp sad is how upset james is about the cut material like its so nice that hes so invested in their relationship too#and its just gotta be so. Excuse Me What when youre told 'hey so your characters cant having a deeper relationship or we're fucked'#'even though the relationship between these two is one of the most fascinating aspects of this generation of xmen films'#is it so hard to want to see like .. even just an intimate 'friendship'. like would it be so bad to see them be so heartfelt#or even just bein a bit silly. or hell ill take them fighting again ANYTHING I BEG YOU the humanity between them is so important#LIKE PLEASE im gonna cope and seethe forever i fear#and when he said 'i thought 'its probably the last time we get to do this to each other'' :((((((((((((((((((((( shoot me#at least we'll always have paris ....
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hmmmm mal du pays thoughts tonight
#radio rambles#i should go to bed but. it is on the mind#isat spoilers#<- for the . wall of tags to come#imm wondering what most people hc mdp to like. be#i know its most popular to see it as siffrins sadness. i do think thats p neat#and probably the intention#but im. juggling around the idea of? siffrin system moment? mdp as a headmate? if yall see that vision?#most inspired by that ādo u hc this character as a systemā post abt siffrin#and i voted no then but now im like genuinely changing my mind JFKFKF#it makes sense in a way. and into my mdp hc that it. wouldve split while sif was very young#splitting due to stress which leads to a lot of. gestures vaguely. mdpās whole thing#a mix of stress but also this sense of longing to. belong somewhere. to not be alone#many years ago it was about the loss of their home. and much later on became more related to its feelings towards their family#mdp is a scared child to me . idk about yalls hcs for it but thats what im sticking to#a scared child who maybe grew up a little alongside the body. but still Young and Scared#its not as often or eager to front as siffrin is. i can imagine it being much more hover-y or . POSSIBLY. cohosting if its feeling up to it#uhm. ok well#so i typed this out and now im actually really sad about mdp jgkdkf where is mdp recovery#now im kinda thinking about it fronting for once to properly meet the party and. and receiving comfort. and and and#wow christ im upset#also also glancing over at marias sibling au for character dynamics hereļæ½ļæ½ļæ½.. silliesā¦..#ps not relevant to my mdp thoughts but fyi im imagining siffin in headspace looks very much like their body#the difference being. much darker clothes. more stars etc. maybe different hair#think like how a lot of ppl style their human loops. thats kinda how i imagine sif in headspace#SPEAKING OF LOOP#i think given the time he spent with them it woulf make sense if they split a loop as well#and ofc other members of the party jgkfkf#im not gonna get into my hcs there because ill b taking away from my mdp hc post BUT#thinking. always thinking
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being in my little carefully curated fandom bubble makes me genuinely forget that some people still think that oc x canons or self-shipping or x reader fics or whatever are 'cringy' or 'embarassing'
#š personal#i mean. to be fair when i first started posting i was also SUPER embarassed to be posting oc x canon stuff#because honestly i havent really been into that before twst#that's exactly why i even made this blog in the first place#because i wanted to share my art and my writing and my ocs and my thoughts but i was WAY to embarassed to show any of that to my friends#and even in the beggining i kind of was like#haha yes i know im so silly and embarassing im totally not taking what i do seriously haha dont worry!#but people on here are genuinely SO nice and supportive#i was meet with nothing but constant encouragement#it really made me get over all my initial embarrassment and just kind of. fully embrace being earnest#and fully show off the pure joy that doing what i do on here makes me feel#AND IT TURNS OUT PEOPLE LIKE IT#literally there isnt a bigger confidence booster for me than people on here being enthusiastic about all the little thoughts and headcanons#i post#and then i take a little step outside of this space and it can be such a whiplash sometimes djgjdjfjdjfjf#ESPECIALLY on tiktok#like wow ppl on there REALLY dont have any whimsy huh#also i have to say#recently i got a bit better at showing my friends the art i post on here#honestly is kinda funny that i was SO scared and embarassed to show it to them because they truly are the MOST supportive and the sweetest#people on earth and encouraging eachother to talk more about our interests is our whole thing
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WOAH, HE'S BIGENDER? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!
#hey. hey. im just saying. he LITERALLY 'transed his gender' in a diagetic bit in orange. and if that wasnt enough.#in blue he disguised himself as squid jenny specifically with larry's powers (the only thing hes done with them on screen)#got caught by his god-assigned roles-obsessed caretaker. and was given the label of being something intrinsically unescapably deceitful.#while 'pretending' to be trans girl.#like. if i wasnt pretty sure it was all an accident i might even call the allegory here slightly heavy-handed.#with the nccts emphasizing a theme of 'youre not just what people say you are#you can be more than one thing at the same time' with crim#i think crimson can have boygirl swag. some bigender pizzazz. i think he deserves it.#is it REALLY a cpu kerfuffle arc without a subversive narratively relevant gender-transing.#am i supposed to believe the spirit of deviance himself is cis? get fucking real. grow up. /silly#also a lil crimtoinette in there. just for flavor. because i cant help myself.#also sidenote the nccts have given him this cute lil tendency#to tip his hat down to hide his face when hes trying to be Genuine or Thoughtful or Poignant. and i enjoy that little touch#i maybe like this guy a little too much. hes most of what ive drawn for months.#but what do you want from me. i read him as a queercoded villain deconstructed at the metanarrative level.#am i just supposed to be normal about that.#me and zia talked about this in dms and discovered. we came to a lot of the same conclusions. completely independently. lmao#cpuk crimson
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Something something the spotās goofy antics distract from how dangerous his own entitlement and resentment is
#I donāt want to be that guy but I feel a little bit like spot gets sanded down a tad into just the fact heās funny#and he IS funny I get it. but what makes him scary is the power to lash out with his entitlement and resentment towards miles#itās you did this TO ME (miles didnāt#he was busy getting pummeled by kingpin and then venom shocking him back and the building was being EVACUATED itās literally no oneās fault#but spotās that he was there AND miles didnāt even know he was there when the collider exploded)#so Iām owed the role that you made me into <- miles literally didnāt do this#Iām OWED being your nemesis because I created you <- when all of itsv is about its miles own choices that make him heroic and not the bite#spot canāt even take ownership of his own actions. heās like oh IM not robbing you thatās the bank. well buddy I donāt see you robbing the#bank I see you harassing some guy owning a corner store#like I get it. ur a cosmic horror and it sucks capitalism is pushing u down and u canāt get a job but like OWN UP TO WHAT THE HELL YOU DO#LMAO#and even miles trying to genuinely reach out and say look Iām sorry I made u feel bad (even though this isnāt an owed apology) and spot#STILL is hellbent on breaking miles back for an imagined slight#I AM GOING TO KILL YOUR LITERAL FATHER BECAUSE I BLAME YOU FOR SOMETHING YOU DIDNT DO#like god lmao. heās a fun silly villain but thereās legitimate anger and spite and RESENTMENT motivating him purely to try hurt miles back a#as* badly as he imagines miles hurt him. when itās like dude. own tf up to whoās responsible here#Iām not angry at the spot btw I actually think heās a fun villain but I think recognising that resentment is what makes him effective as a#*āfrightening* villain and one that poses legitimate danger#tunes talks spiderverse#apologies xinakwans ik u said you didnāt want to read any spot posts hopefully this snags on ur filtered content block shdjfjfk
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I feel like your approach to criticizing a certain fandom was the wrong way of doing it. Don't get me wrong, you are a hundred percent right about the lack of representation for certain characters. But you had to have known that you would've gotten backlash for insinuating that the only reason that content is being made is because people are... misogynistic? The characters are well-written; that's why they get attention. The women are also well-written, you're right! But instead of getting mad at the people who enjoy specific characters, you could contribute to what you want to see in the fandom. Make fanfiction, make art, talk about your favorite ships, talk about your favorite characters, talk about the head-canons you have for them, connect with other fans of those characters, make AUs with them, make the fandom you want to see! But I don't know what you were expecting when you come out and say in the tags "you must be misogynists for liking these characters and you must be awful people for playing around with AUs" even though every fandom on this website does that. That was hostile and was only going to get a hostile response in return especially when you specifically put it in the tags for fans of those characters to see. Because it reads as you insinuating that fans of these characters existing is why you don't get any representation of your favorite characters. Or, alternatively, that everyone only likes certain characters because they're misogynists who hate women characters. People make content of them because they like them and because they want to make content of them.
Want more content of the things you want to see? Pay or support the artists and writers who make that content or start making it yourself. Its not helpful to complain that some characters get more attention than others but then make no attempt to contribute to it in any meaningful way. You cannot just get mad at people for liking characters and expect the fandom to magically decide its going to give you the content you want.
This is a long-winded way of saying you are correct in that the fandom seems to hyper-focus on some characters over others. But the way you approached that discussion was combative, hostile, and unhelpful, and you're not going to motivate a community into making content by being passive-aggressive to the people making the content they want to make. Be the change you want to see in the fandom, or support the artists and writers who make the content you want to see.
Its like... You can't complain your garden isn't growing if you're not watering it and not adding seeds, and instead are blaming everyone else for having plants in their gardens that you don't like.
anon i dont know how to tell you this but if you felt the need to write a five-paragraph essay talking about how i need to be nicer to other people when i am pointing out misogyny in a fandom space then, well... actually, i dont know what to tell you other than the fact that i was trying to be aggressive and im not going to be civil about misogyny. my post wasn't made in the hopes of getting people to make more content of the women in borderlands because that would never in ten fucking million years work. it was not a constructive post. you are assuming i have some sort of goodwill about this and i don't. i wanted to be an asshole because, surprise, i am an asshole. funny how that works.
you are also pulling so much of this out of nowhere and putting so many words in my mouth that i dont even know where to begin with it?? i mean this in the kindest way possible nonnie but. this is a wild response to make when all i said was essentially "wow it sure is weird that the majority of content made for bl is focused on only three men when there's a full cast of amazing women to look at" and then "its also weird that people are making aus to erase the canon abuse and exploitation of a CHILD in order to make jack a good father". but thanks for the essay, nonnie. i guess.
#ask: anon#blight rambles#txt post#anon genuinely what are you doing here. what response did you want from me here.#im not gonna be nice about it because. this is my blog and i can do whatever i want. because again. this is my blog.#i wasnt trying to get more content or be civil or whatever the fuck#i was being mean on purpose. because i can do that.#also āthe characters are well-writtenā in a borderlands game. yeah. sure. suuure they are. let's not be silly right now.#also what the hell is up with the vague wording nonnie?#why wont you say the game name. why wont you say jack's name. why not mention the au i talked about before?#is it because you know that its weird? why be so vague?#also again you pulled so much of this out of the fucking air. whatever nonnie#funniest part about all of this is that jack is one of my favorite characters. he is. but i can recognize that the abundance of content for#him and the lack of it for anyone who isn't one of the Other Two. since apparently we're being vague here. is weird#i also like the other two. so we're clear. this isnt a case of me not liking them. i DO like them and i still know its weird.#ah fandom discourse on tumblr dot com. i love you so dearly
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Me pondering: kids are capable of going through and understanding complex problems and their feelings should be taken seriously when it counts.
Me practically: who are all these annoying fucking kids in the milgram fandom and why are they posting the worst takes and most irrelevant bullshit I've ever seen ever???
I think these are valid to coexist.
#haterposting sorry lile kids like amane?#w ACTUAL maturity and intelligence? yes hear them out!!#some 13-year-old posting drivel about āshipsā when it's completely irrelevant#or missing the point of very complex plot points bc they are Literally Not The Age Demographic and Actually Dont Understand It?#im SO SORRY i am not gonna b mean to anyone but I WILL HATE THEM FROM AFAR#GO BACK TO BNHA OR DANGANRONPA U ARE ACTUALLY MAKING THE SPACES LOWER QUALITY BY BEING HERE#like obviously it does not matter at all lmao kids will do whatever#i was watching bojack horseman at 13 thinking i was So Smart i don't get to talk#but to be fair i NEVER missed the point as bad as some milgram kiddies in the YouTube side of the fandom#like no āwrongā way to enjoy things but imo they legitimately need to enjoy something else#but literally if your only takeaway from this project is āomg ship cute characters sillyā#but you still insist on joining discussion spaces? god please leave#I DON'T HATE MINORS I DON'T DISCRIMINATE i just think the minors who legitimately have nothing to add should shut the fuck up#sorry livechat got me wildin lmaooooo idc that much but like it's a weird contrast#cuz my general genuine feelings for most situations is āyeah listen to kids' perspectives wholeheartedlyā#but like ONLINE kids who post about nonsense that has nothing to do with what others are trying to discuss? godddd they legit need to leave#nothing against shipping either long as ur not Gross#(coughbitchesshippingwholeadultawunderagecharacterscough)#but if that's ALL YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT there are way better fandoms for that leave the milgram creators aloooone lmao#minors who actually Think about shit this does not apply to you obviously lol#if ur smart ur smart if you contribute u contribute#but like try to let urself be a kid sometimes too lol
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#these are just some thoughts re: friendship as a result of tonight that i need to jot down somewhere but#realising that i really do have a strict and set idea of Good Friend(ship) and what that entails to me#and id written people off bc i wasn't yk ~receiving love or friendship the way id prefer and i was angry with them for that/hurt about it#did i communicate that to them though? nooo. was i fully right in that? also no. like just bc i felt unheard didn't fully mean#that they were doing something wrong. they were trying in their own way (and sometimes they weren't really or it just wasn't nice)#but that's about how we match and how we communicate right? this is so silly that's so basic but it never fully clicked for me like this#i was blaming them for stuff and building up resentment without ever expressing that (and i still haven't yk dhshsjd)#and i think where i went ~wrong was in thinking that bc i felt that way they weren't ~giving me what i need#when it's like... but did i pick up on the ways in which they DID appreciate me and show me love etc? did i give them ANYTHING to work with?#(ok yes occasionally but also... tangent but i was watching a variety show and they were teasing woozi about how#he gives interviewers/hosts literally nothing to work with. like no extra information for them to ask about or tease him for or anything#and i was like ohhhhhh. yeah i do do that sometimes with friends and it's genuinely smth i don't really know how to do like#giving casual information (but not too much and not too little???) so they can then ask questions etc. so then if im like ughh#they never ask (the right) questions or show interest (or let me talk but that's a different thing dhsjdjd) it's like...#well do i give them the chance to? much to think about thank you woozi)#anyways where was i dhsjsnsnsjns idk but it's soooo annoying that i haven't figured this all out yet#but im slowly letting go off a bunch of resentment that has truly no business being here and im trying to self reflect and all that#and im honestly doing so shit some days but others days it's? finding stuff that matters to me on a deeper level ig?#and all of it really does pale in the face of multiple genocides and it's. but yk. if i want to keep fighting#i need to build a strong foundation and sort my shit out as well and be present so im really really trying#and beating my stupid stupid depression and brain with a stick until i get there
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sasha andrey halle 2023 was such a funny final. guy who doesnāt care and is surprised he even got to where he is vs guy who cares so fucking much and will die if he doesnāt win. and still sasha won.
#well it just goes to show. chillaxing really is much better than trying to lock in#i jest. despite the horrors andrey is still a top ten player who is leagues better than sasha#tennis#going 2 bed but i just watches the bublik hot shot video. its a good one!#i like how he defines hot shots. hes right it doesnt have to be just any somewhat weird shot#projecting here but i think people need to leave him alone about being a clown#i would say he feels that what but i dont think he cares. but he does do less silly things than he used to#aaaand he said that he no longer only plays tennis for the money like he used to: he does assert he does genuinely like the game#he just manages to be incredibly zen about it all so people keep thinking he doesnt care#he does care about tennis but he doesnt care about winning matches. slight difference#(doubles however he does play only for money and fun)#sorry for being invested in him i feel like im always sasha blogging. well hes so endearing to me okay#bublik
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Mental illness is insane I'm just having dinner w my father eating this a little too spicy pasta enjoying the Yeowch on my throat and the silence and suddenly I'm like yeah I'd kill myself.
#luly talks#i mean it came from out of nowhere grieving but it's so bizarre#like i just got hit by this very heavy rock in my skull this overwhelming and genuine urge for a second that yeah that'd be ok#that's the correct path to take and there's no physical changes i just kept on chewing on my all too spicy bc he used the wrong condiments#pasta. like sure i was a little zoned out maybe if you paid close attention you'd have seen my eye getting lazy or something but like. thats#it. and i always in zoning out#like this wasn't even an intrusive thought those come out of nowhere and just are echoing chambers of fear and shame#this was a calm resolution like yeah. that's the way to go alright.#y'know kind of unrelated but i always wish i had someone to talk about some mental health things i cant w my therapist#more on the speculative diagnosis thing. if you dont know what i mean shame on you for not keeping up with the Luly lore /silly#it's really hard being neurodivergent and im not talking about autism rn that i can manage but gestures vaguely its hard when it's#a group project. it's hard when everything is so fuzzy#because sometimes i tell myself i only think of this bc im all day alone and thinking but like#what. am i supposed to be getting non stop stimuli 24/7 least i realize i hsve something in my skull going on?#i blame my mother for that one she always made me ashamed of being sick or whatever acting like it was my fault#like me noticing symptoms was equivalent to me making them real#as if that wasn't just absurd like. the symptoms are here you twat. I'm not placebo effecting myself w shit#even the ppl who do like. the symptoms are real.#aaahhh siiiiigh yet another common L#brain stuff
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fknished lynsys sidequest and hes so (biting him like a chewtoy) i think his insane rizz everybody talks abt his fake but i think calling mc a āgentle soulā and indulging paimon w a private show and thinking of us as his friends is genuine and i think thats cuter
#ik ppl want a guy that flirrs w mc regardles of gender but i do think his rizz is just him in the magician persona#i like his more subdued sweet side#i like him being genuine moreā¦.silly guy#š¤š¤š¤ also did not expecr to like lynette this much from his sidequest#but shes so reliable and cute and š¤š¤š¤š¤š¤#i love their relationship so much#claude txt#i do think theres smth up w rhe flowers lyney gives us tho. one parting one passion two separate perspectives of the same nature#but im too stupid to figure it out#to me mc could potentially also be lyneys ātruthā#romantically or platonically idk#personally. qpr. qpr is always the solution.#ok heres my isnane take. i dont think lyney would cause harm to us#betrayal comes in many forms and i think for lyney it would jsut be omission and lies#i think hes too loyal. Imo. i rhink hes in debt to us.#the same way he was in debt w his teacher#i think his teacger and mc r both āgentle soulsā#and i rhink l&l wouldnt go against us as strongly because theyre in debt to us#we became lyneys attorney and protected him and now they owe us yk.#yk what fuck it i dont think l&l would betray us anymore#yeah it sucks but i cant see it anymore#unless they were threatened or smth#potential parallels w rh npc stoey forbfuture archon quests frfr
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If ron wins the tumblr thing
Idk i might do something silly we'll see
#not ne#i aint even being vague here i genuinely dont lnow what ill do#i just know i wanna do something silly on the blog if ron wins#anywya vote ron if you havent already#im gonna keep trying to work on the blog even tho i keep getting distracted
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barbie isnāt a feminist or misogynistic sheās a plastic toy
#i know this sounds like im being a hater but imagine me saying this as genuinely and earnestly as possible#cause like ok. you have Barbieā¢ļø the product produced by Mattel and marketed AS empowering#and then you have barbie the character in the general cultural imagination ofā¦anyone who knows what barbie is#and opinions on THAT range from Misogynistic Consumerist Insecurity-Creating Stereotype#to Girlboss Empowering Femininity Do-Anything-Be-Anything Feminist#and this feels obnoxious to say because I thought the movie was mid but they did like. very briefly conceptualize this as like#barbie is a construct barbie isnāt real and as such barbie is whatever exists in the minds of really kids but also i suppose#other barbie enthusiasts hahah. and because of that barbie becomes a figurehead for womens leadership and strength OR a reenactment#of patriarchal norms (kids very much will take barbieās scrubs off and marry her to ken and have her be a housewife lol this is a Thing)#or or or barbie is a vehicle for discovering lesbianism. or playing imaginary torture.#so like in the most detached I Donāt Even Care About Barbie Iām Just Postin Here way possible. Barbie is a plastic toy.#everyone ignore this im just talking on my silly little blog#old man yells at cloud
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the thing is i be yearning
#apologies for being a bit lovestruck in the tags but here we go#i wanna kiss and cuddle with her so bad. today when we were leaning on each other and resting our heads on each other.... man.#she smells so good i could just lean into her neck forever#i wanna sleep next to her and just exist together more#i sit in her car and its quiet except for the music and we're just existing together#and shes just so easy to talk to#and we have these inside jokes and references#and im just always laughing or having genuine conversation with her#and we tease each other and make fun of each other and its just silly#sighhhhhhhh#we're doing a two week east coast trio in like may just us two.. im excited#shes said before she really doesnt like ppl touching her but she lets me and she instigates too#i think im just delusional#but again. 99.99999% sure she doesnt like girls nor does she want to date or anything anyways#and i value her friendship so much anyways#but theres that tiiiiiny hope in my farthest recesses in my brain saying what if#bleh :pppppppppp#i think im just a hopeless romantic virgin who confuses her feelings#but idk#fish talk
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