#but im literally fucking miserable holy shit

[coolcoelacanth]

i've been so fucking sad about my ex recently and i feel like a crazy person. it's deadass been 1 year since we last saw each other but it's all just hitting me right now. i was relieved for the first few months after we ended things, then i was sad, then i was doing just fine, now all of a sudden i have been fucking miserable about it for the past month. i really wish i could take my brain out of my head and run it under cold water. i feel like im short circuiting. ive just been overall depressed then ill randomly burst into tears about it for like 30 minutes. i've only been one one date since we ended things, and im starting to feel like ill never find someone i love like that again. he didn't treat me right, and i deserve better, but damn did we work together so well. if he hadn't been an idiot things could've worked out really well. now im back to square one, with all these people i genuinely have no interest in. and im pretty sure he started seeing someone shortly after we ended things and theyre still together. so i just feel even worse, like did all of that really mean that little to him? and why does he get to move on and have a happy ending? i feel like nothing is ever fair bro, i give my heart and soul to this shit and i get the short end of the stick every time. and i really, truly, deeply trusted him. i really really did. i dont know how to get over this horrible feeling of betrayal. it burns a hole in my stomach. it doesnt feel real. i dont want any of it to be real. its all just some kind of sick joke. and i keep playing back all the memories of all the things he did that hurt me, so im just hurting myself over and over again and just crying about it all. my brain is truly putting me thru my own personal hell, for why? who fucking knows. maybe bc i havent had a day off since august and im finally having a nervous breakdown, so my brain is just throwing everything its got at me. and i literally spent 8 hours studying today, then im working 8 hrs tmrw and studying afterward for my exam on monday. but it doesn't end there, it all just repeats on an endless cycle until my semester ends in december. i only have this semester and next semester left until i will only be doing rotations, but jesus christ if this doesnt kill me. and i used to have a reprieve on the weekends when my ex would come over for three days and we would just LOL and eat good food and i really felt like i could completely let all my walls down. now i never get to let my walls down because i dont trust anyone to be myself around. so im just constantly holding everything in all the time until i finally explode one day. this is literally so long but if you made it this far, im literally at my breaking point. and i dont even have time to have a break down, i get to cry about my life for a couple hours a day then i just keep going and going and going like a fucking lunatic. somebody please put me out of my misery for fucks sake

[arundolyn]

ohhhh my fucking god nobody needs to like know any of this medical tmi but it is literally 11 pm and if im kept up one minute longer when i just laid down trying to go to sleep by my mother YELLING REPEATEDLY that she needs to pee. im going to actually go insane. she got a catheter in. Yesterday. it is working. she won't listen to anyone when they tell her that this is the case. help me jesus. im sure if a nurse comes to check on her tomorrow they'll probably get the same response. my brain will simply explode

[semiotomatics]

hahahaha i fucking hate my insurance company and i want them to die!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ozlices]

as a person w so goddamn much medical trauma the thought of having to go through the process to find a new doctor that is not just simply compatible w me, but who is also, like. u know. an actually nice, understanding person who will put genuine effort into taking proper care of me is so taxing. like i wish it was a simpler process, but it's not. bc i gotta deal w the very real possibility that by having to go through this process, my medical trauma will be worsened even further. & it is already bad enough that i have panic attacks every time i have to go to any sort of medical facility.

im literally so fucking furious over how much this happens. & that there's no fucking consequence for doing it to a Human Being. for tossing a Human Being that needs medical care aside like a piece of fucking trash. the american healthcare system is such a stupid fucking joke.

[libingan]

—how the tf141 are like when they’re sick.

im sick. that’s literally my only motivation to write this.

i feel like absolute shit but holy fuck i wanted to write this so pls enjoy

no horny juice rn, so its all fluff

JOHN PRICE

when price gets sick, it’s almost like he’s in denial about it. he’s the type to downplay everything—says it’s just a little cough, just a bit of a sore throat. but then, as the fever starts creeping up, you see the cracks in his usual solid demeanor. he’s flushed, his breathing a bit labored, and when you gently place the back of your hand on his forehead, he swats you away at first, grumbling that he’s fine.

“you don’t have to worry about me,” he mutters, trying to keep his voice steady. but the cough that rattles through his chest betrays him, and eventually, even he can’t deny it anymore.

you coax him into bed, tucking the blankets around his broad frame, and he grumbles under his breath about how ridiculous this all is. he’s not used to being taken care of—he’s the captain, the one in charge, and letting someone fuss over him isn’t in his nature. but there’s a moment when you bring him some tea, and he accepts it quietly, his eyes softening just a little as he watches you.

“i’ve had worse,” he rasps, his voice thick with congestion, but when you sit beside him, he leans into the warmth of your presence, even if he won’t admit it. he tries to stay in control, tries to ask about your day or if there’s any work that needs to be done, but you can see how tired he is. when he finally gives in to sleep, his hand rests loosely on yours, a silent acknowledgment that he’s glad you’re there, even if he doesn’t say it out loud.

KYLE ‘GAZ’ GARRICK

gaz is the worst when he’s sick, and he knows it. he tries to be strong about it, but the minute the fever sets in, he’s a mess of sniffles, groans, and dramatic sighs. you find him sprawled out on the couch, a blanket barely covering him as he flips through channels, looking utterly miserable.

“i feel like death,” he complains when you sit next to him, and despite the obvious exaggeration, he looks pitiful enough that you can’t help but smile. he’s not usually one to be overly needy, but when he’s sick? he’s all about the attention.

you bring him some soup, and he gives you a weak smile, propping himself up just enough to take a sip. “you’re an angel,” he mumbles, but even that little bit of gratitude is followed by a dramatic cough that makes you roll your eyes.

he’s restless, constantly shifting under the blankets and complaining about how bored he is, how much he hates feeling like this. you offer to stay with him, and his eyes light up, a mischievous glint behind the obvious exhaustion. “you gonna keep me company?” he teases, voice thick with congestion. “or are you just here to make sure i don’t die on the couch?

you settle in beside him, and even though he’s feeling awful, he still cracks jokes, trying to keep things light. but there’s a quiet moment where he leans into you, his head resting on your shoulder as he drifts off to sleep, his breathing finally evening out. you stay there, feeling the weight of him against you, knowing that as much as he’s complaining, he appreciates you being there.

JOHN ‘SOAP’ MACTAVISH

soap is absolutely insufferable when he’s sick, and he knows it. at first, he tries to play it off—still bouncing around, still grinning, still acting like everything’s fine. but then the fever hits, and it’s like watching a hurricane get knocked flat. he’s sprawled out on the bed, tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable no matter what he does.

you bring him a glass of water, and he gives you that familiar, cocky grin, even though he’s clearly not feeling well. “you’re a sight for sore eyes,” he rasps, taking the water and downing it in one go. his voice is rough, but there’s still that glint of mischief in his eyes. “ye know, if i weren’t sick, we could be havin’ a lot more fun right now.”

you roll your eyes, but there’s no denying the way his teasing makes your heart flutter. he’s always been like this—flirty, cheeky, always pushing your buttons. even now, as he’s lying there, feverish and miserable, he can’t resist making a comment.

“don’t suppose you’ll give me a wee cuddle, eh?” he grins, shifting on the bed and patting the spot beside him. “might help me feel better.”

you know he’s just trying to get a rise out of you, but when you settle next to him, he actually quiets down for a moment, resting his head on your shoulder. his skin is warm, almost too warm, and you can feel the tension in his muscles as he tries to get comfortable

“don’t worry,” he mumbles, his voice soft now. “i’ll be back to my usual self soon enough. ye won’t be able to keep yer hands off me.” despite his words, he’s clearly exhausted, and when he finally drifts off, he’s peaceful for once, his usual energy gone, replaced by the quiet rhythm of his breathing.

SIMON ‘GHOST’ RILEY

when ghost gets sick, it’s like he’s trying to hide it from the world. he’s not the type to show weakness, not even to you, and it takes a lot for him to admit that he’s not feeling well. but eventually, even he can’t fight it off anymore, and you find him in bed, eyes closed, the tension in his body betraying how much he’s struggling.

he doesn’t say much when you sit beside him, offering him some medicine and a glass of water. he just nods, his fingers brushing against yours as he takes the glass, the touch brief but enough to let you know he’s thankful for your presence.

he’s quiet—always quiet—but even more so when he’s sick. there’s no grumbling, no complaining, just the occasional shift of his body as he tries to get comfortable. you adjust the blankets around him, and his eyes flicker open for a moment, dark and heavy with exhaustion.

“you don’t have to stay,” he mutters, his voice low and rough. but there’s no force behind his words, no real intent for you to leave. in fact, the way his eyes follow you as you move around the room tells you that he doesn’t want to be alone, even if he won’t admit it.

you sit beside him, and for a while, there’s just the sound of his breathing, slow and labored. he doesn’t ask for anything, doesn’t demand your attention, but the way his hand occasionally brushes against yours is enough. he’s not used to being taken care of, but he lets you stay, lets you be the quiet comfort he needs.

eventually, his breathing evens out, and he falls into a restless sleep. you watch over him, knowing that even though he doesn’t say much, your presence is enough to ease some of the weight he’s carrying, even if only for a little while.

[br4tzz]

CLEAN YOUR ACT UP — B.E

billie had been teasing you all throughout tour, you were needy and she knew it. you guys made a bet to see how long you two could go without touching each other or touching yourselves, the deal was whoever lost the other can do whatever they want, not knowing you were gonna fail miserably. 

there you were fingers deep in your pussy, playing with one of your tits. "shitttt"  you moaned in a hushed voice. billie was in the bathroom getting ready and you were sure to have enough time to get off without getting caught. your eyes rolled back as you were on the verge of cumming " oh my god ! " you needed a release oh so bad, was it worth losing? maybe. you were so close that you didn't even notice that bil came out.

"baby did you see where i put my-" "oh," billie said slightly smirking "i fucking knew itttt" practically saying it victory. you jumped up immediately closing your legs ." nuh- huh keep 'em open" she said pushing them open.

"holy fuck you're literally dripping" "were you that horny?" she was teasing.

"shut upp" you giggled.

"lemme help".

"bil you have a show in a bit-" "so?".

"fine." you huffed.

she spread open your pussy lips, catching a bit of arousal. she licked it clean.

she went up and down your slit teasing you a bit. sticking her thumb inside your wet cunt every time, she pressed her thumb on your cilt doing figure 8s.

"you're so pretty.." she breathed. "shitt. to be honest you probably not gonna be able to think after im done with you"

"open"  she said as a string of saliva fell on your tongue.

"good girl"

"holy shit !" you moaned as billie slammed two fingers into your entrance. you were getting overwhelmed and she see that.

"mama you gotta relax". no matter how many times you've done this, you've always gotten to this point. she's just too good.

she started to go faster and rougher. you gripped her arm to gain some type of composer.

'bil- oh fuckk!"

you tried to form a sentence but you could only think about is your girlfriend going deeper in your pussy.

you really couldn't think.

your thighs began to close on billie's arm, she gripped your thigh and pushed them up.

she added a third finger stretching you out. "it f-feels soo good" you cried out. "i know baby" you could just taste the cockiness in her mouth.

"i love you so fucking much" you moaned in a porno type of way.

"jesuss" the sight that billie was seeing made her wanna cum right then and there. oh, how pretty u looked with your makeup all fucked up and tears running down your face.

"baby im gonna cu-" you were cut off by her going at an inhuman speed.

"hmm? you're gonna cum?" you nodded basically giving in to her. "yeah? you're gonna cum all over my fingers?" "billie, billie, baby!" you continuously chant her name. your eyes rolled back as your breathing got heavier.

the knot in your stomach was soon coming undone, legs shaking, toes curling.

with a blink of an eye, it has soon gone.

"wha-" you said opening your eyes very confused.

"mmm you should really fix yourself up," billie said licking your juices off her fingers.

"we gotta leave soon" billie smirked kissing your forehead.

oh, that sneaky bitch.

[yakumtsaki]

Dear readers, we've been through so much together and you know at this point it takes a lot for me to describe a situation as 'out of control'.. yet here we are. So Kea moves in and the following happens in the span of like 2 hours:

Barth beats up Felina.

Kea beats up Spice.

Barth beats up Cyan.

Felina beats up Barth. Like seriously, ENOUGH. I've decided that next generation when we're at the third cousin tier relation I'm just gonna let whoever wants to date a cousin do it because holy hell, breaking them up has been a disaster. Everyone is near aspiration failure, everyone has shit grades, we're BROKE, and to top it all off..

-HELLO AGAIN

Why. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING WE DON'T OWE ANY BILLS LIKE THIS IS LITERAL THEFT. I also love how everyone is already so miserable so the repoman just comes and takes all the fun objects we can't afford to replace, FML

Barth's aspiration meter is absolutely pathetic as a result of everyone viciously assaulting him and desperate times call for desperate measures..

-Well well.. If it isn't Glitched Butler #9.. How's it hanging? ;)

-Same as always, I'm here to not cook and to open the doors we no longer have thanks to Baby.

-You know what, I'm too depressed to seduce you so will you just sleep with me?

-As you well know my butler programming prohibits me from doing anything helpful!

FFS. It's ok Barth, I will fulfill your throw a party want, I don't see how anything could go wrong with the situation in this house being what it is!

-Hey there! Join our party! Sleep with me! I COMMAND YOU

Barth please get it together.

-I CAN'T FUNCTION ROMANTICALLY BECAUSE I'M SO SAD BUT I REFUSE TO THROW ANY WANTS THAT DON'T INVOLVE ME SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE

OK DO YOU MAYBE SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THAT APPROACH

-NO

-Ugh, Spice is so hot when he's crying after I beat him up.

Ok Kea, I'm only gonna ask this once: are you fucking kidding me????

-What? It's only natural to be attracted to your girlfriend's ex who is her cousin and your enemy.

I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see this shit and move on.

So I have invited several of Barth's existing and potential lovers to this party and my goal is to figure out who, if anyone, I'm gonna marry him to. Now please enjoy this sequence of events:

a) Barth is flirting with my current top spouse pick, Stella Terrano, and it's going great!

b) Barth leaves Stella Terrano to go sleep with GODDAMN GUNNAR. Since I can't seem to shake this fucker off, the only option remaining is to give him a ridiculous fake accent to make him bearable.

-Oi luvs you, Barth!

-Why are you talking like a servant from Downton Abbey? Also who the hell caught me cheating now?

Who knows or cares? Let's continue:

c) Barth goes downstairs to beat up Cyan.

d) Klara aka my former top spouse pick attempts to leap into Barth's arms and HE LETS HER DROP

-Äääääh mein arsch!

-Sorry Klara but I refuse to get caught cheating by Gunnar..

-..unless it's with Stella Terrano!

LOL OMG, I really thought I'd have to marry him to fucking Gunnar due to THIS SHIT:

But God's mercy finally shines upon me!!!

Oh man I'm so upset by this >:)

-Ha culd youse do 'is, ya broke ma 'eart!!!

-What?

-Oh my, turtles are considered the sexiest animal in my planet👽

Stella ffs. Oh well, so sad, goodbye Gunnar, I was really hoping to add your freakish lack of chin into our gene pool but looks like I won't have the chance huhu!

e) Barth flirts with Stella again and is caught cheating AGAIN..

f) ..by Sarah Love who I keep forgetting exists but man that's a HARDCORE slap, she legit got her fingers in his eyeball(s)

-SORRY WHATSYOURNAME BUT I THINK BLINDING ME IS A BIT OF AN OVERREACTION

Yay! See Barth, our amazing party did the trick and now everything is gonna be ok!

-IM BLIND IM BLINDDDD I CAN'T SEE

Excuse me?! You know what Barth I'm done helping you, nothing is ever good enough for you!

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

What do you think about Tavros and Dave's relationship? they interact quite interestingly in the first acts, and it seems to me that people undeservedly overlook this

Dave c3< Tavros c3< Equius is one of my endgame ships.

I also don't really mind Dave <3< Tavros because they definitely have a contentious relationship, but I think the Dave/Tavros/Equius throuple suits all three of them better and is also a more healthy and positive force for Dave overall. Especially because parallels are already there - Dave and Tavros's interaction is largely Dave making Tavros really uncomfortable, and then Tavros trying to get back at him via rap; meanwhile, Dave encourages Equius to rap, and is then made really uncomfortable. Together, they can be miserable while rapping at each other together.

But more seriously, one of Dave's biggest problems on the meteor was how fucking lonely he was. After basically ruining things with Terezi because he didn't understand troll quadrants and didn't want to learn, he had pretty much nobody to talk to, and especially nobody to rap with (the activity he's constantly seen doing to try and pass the time), which is why he became so obsessively clingy to the Mayor. Gamzee stopped talking to everyone except Terezi, Rose and Kanaya were busy being codependent and/or having substance abuse problems, and Karkat just thinks Dave's rap shit is dumb and cringe. It was like, really bad for him.

In a hypothetical situation where Tavros and Equius are both brought back to life, a lot of problems are actually solved for Dave - he has two rap buddies (three if you count redeemed Gamzee, who's <> with Tavros in this scenario) and is made to accept troll polyamory... by FORCE. I pretty much imagine that he kind of falls ass backwards into this auspicetism without even realizing it, and when someone breaks the news to him that he's dating the two worst trolls, he'd be like NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! and go crawling back to Terezi on his hands and knees like babe im so sorry please take me back. don't let my defining relationship be this unforgivable threesome

But it'd also be good for Tavros and Equius. Equius is genuinely polite, even if he is bossy, and if he tries to get all weird at Tavros about... y'know, the stuff Equius is weird about, Dave would feel the need to step in, and be like, bro, you two are literally the two biggest weirdos on this meteor, why tf are you beefing (and then theyd be like was that a livestock pun and dave would be like stfu)

Meanwhile, Tavros doesn't seem to be able to stop himself from bugging Dave, and to be frank, Dave's kind of out of Tavros's league? like their first interaction went so badly for Tavros that he BLOCKED Dave, which is hilarious. But Equius doesn't stand for 100dness and crassness, so there's no way he wouldn't feel the need to intervene and prevent things from going that far, inadvertently turning their throuple into a safe space for Tavros to practice self-assertion

And Dave also keeps goading Equius into doing shit, and it backfires horrifically every single time, but you know what? Dave is TAVROS's rival, okay, Tavros called dibs, and with Equius being... the way that he is... he WOULD listen to Tavros and back off. And of course that just sets Dave off, and the beautiful cycle continues. Like they all kind of vaguely hate each other and need to meddle with each other, but in a way that all three of them walk away as better, healthier people.

Also the way Karkat would be like holy fucking shit, this is the most stable auspicetism ive ever seen, i mean this from the bottom of my pusher, like completely genuinely and sincerely, congratulations & dave would be like shut UP!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[kafus]

your post about wanting to see liko in a wheelchair inspired me... i think when sprigatito evolves she wants to start helping liko move around the same way liko would always carry her around in the past

adrian no fucking way i’m gonna cry 😭 😭 like i’m actually tearing up you’re insane for thisHDJSKSK

i just woke up and was feeling pretty miserable cause i slept so badly and the first thing i opened was tumblr and then i saw this and immediately felt better 😭 😭 AAAAAAAA

the way you draw her and sprigatito/floragato is literally so fucking cute and sweet and you’re right floragato totally would SOBS

i’m thinking about this image forevwr Holy shit……. the catharsis of all time what the hell (explosion gif)

ough i feel like i gotta say more to express my appreciation but im just like

[correctthroam]

I read THROAM for the first time in ~5 years. Here's what I have to say.

Volume I: There was so many characters I forgot about when going into the fic. Pete, Jac, Spencers family. I cant believe I forgot them. Pete will always be a fave because everyone hates him and it makes me laugh. The first volume was always my 2nd favorite, I think it still is. overall, the storyline isn't complicated and I like that. Ryan is such an asshole so I dont feel bad for him one bit in any of the fic. Also, I used to say that the bus crash was Brendons fault (I was 13, okay?) But Ryan was just an unstable motherfucker who truly should not be trusted to drive a vehicle of any kind.

Volume II: holy shit. I hate volume two. Not saying the writing is bad but Jesus Christ, Ryan is an asshole. bro literally stalked Brendon after he ran into him at that party like what? I had messaged a friend after finishing volume 2, saying "I'm a really nice person I never wanna make people feel sad, let alone make a whole fictional story about someone being severely depressed and unstable whilst chasing a boy then fucking his bf at the end???" and I think that perfectly sums up how I feel (and always felt) about volume two. other than the fact that I used to say that it was Brendons fault. (I was 13. THIRTEEN) it wasn't his fault. Some parts were, yeah, but it's hard to pinpoint everything that happened on one person. at the end of the day, its a good story I just Hate it (does that make sense) I love it but I hate it? it remains my least favorite purely for the pain it put me through.

Volume III: I love this volume. I always have. Sisky is amazing, we all love Sisky. I will say the iconic song/album references/jokes made me cringe a bit, though. Im not exactly sure what about this fic I always liked so much, I guess you can really see Ryans character growth and finally not be as much as a miserable fuck (he's still unstable dw) Since Ryan is less insufferable, it makes the volume more enjoyable. I like that Spencer and Ryan became friends again, I think it makes the book more enjoyable and tbh I think Spencer rly tied vol 3 together, if he wasn't part of it it would lowk suck. overall, best volume cant wait to host the throam tour where we go to hotel Chelsea then machias.

final thoughts: if I thought throam was 100% good when I was 13, Id say now that I think throam is about 85% good now. (does that make sense pt 2) this fic has sent me back into being 13 and I have been blasting some pretty. odd. (im listening to it rn as im typing this) and listening to this album just makes my life feel more simple. still a solid fic, I think it would be an amazing published book. and I think we can all agree that it would be amazing to see THROAM movies (in our dreams)

Thanks for reading lol

[dishywishy]

BEHOLD, MY HTTYD OPINIONS. if you scroll even further you get to also read my random thoughts about The Hidden World movie.

My fun little thoughts about the Hidden World movie:

Generally speaking, courtship behaviors are largely instinctual in most animals. So maybe part of the reason Toothless was so confused about how to court the Lightfury because she wasn’t another Nightfury.

The first time I watched HTTYD 3 I was very much under the impression that the Lightfury had been in captive for a pretty decent amount of time. When the Lightfury is brought to Grimmel the general dudes even say “We brought your favorite bait” which implies that Grimmel has used Lightfuries to lure Nightfuries before. Which then led me to the assumption that Grimmel had been using this specific Lightfury for a least a few years.

This also explained to me why the Lightfury kept coming back to find Toothless instead of going back to the Hidden World. She’s been with Grimmel so long she didn’t know what else to do, or alternatively she didn’t want to lead Grimmel to the Hidden World. It also explained why she was almost luring Toothless into Grimmel’s initial trap.

The one thing I never really got was how they ever got a Lightfury. I’ve been under the assumption they’re entirely endemic to the Hidden World, and there wouldn’t be any real reason for them to leave.

Would Toothless be miserable in the Hidden World? He’s built for lots of flying and his main form of attack and presumably hunting is diving from up high. You really can’t do that in a cave, even if the Hidden World is big.

WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING TIMBERJACKS MAN? WHAT ABOUT FLIGHTLESS DRAGONS LIKE SPEEDSTINGERS??? THE CANNIBAL DRAGONS?!?

Also I know Toothless has the Berk dragons go to the Hidden World but what about literally all the other dragons?

I NEED ANSWERS

After this I’m gonna redesign the Nightlights with my head canon stuff in mind. And maybe Thunder. I haven’t watched the Nine Realms but I’ve seen pictures of Thunder and HOLY SHIT HE’S UGLY IM SORRY THUNDER BUT YOU GOT DONE DIRTY

Also I definitely want feedback and opinions on this if you feel like sharing :)

[fallenclan]

"im gonna be all anonymous and mysterious.. theyll never know" and i immediately Reveal Myself

SO GLAD U LIKED THE SONG CHOICES !! ams is great ... i will definitely start The Planning >:)

anyway. tryin to figure out how to draw the Guy (ft tumblr destroying the quality)

SO insane about this guy. small rant: i have seen a lot of people portray him as cool evil manipulative murderer and its not like he ISNT that. but. consider this.. he is a fucking loser. he isnt doing these things out of malicious intent but out of built up anger, grief, and desperation. he has literally lost everything and everyone and i dont think that he likes himself or his life like At All.

but he feels hes too far gone. the only thing keeping him going is his anger. is he even angry anymore? or just acting off of instinct? hes not like scorchstar. hes not calculating and good at covering his tracks.. hes not nearly as confident or put together. hes a mess. hes miserable. i dont think she would EVER end up where he is now.

i think hes in disbelief- thinking that if he just keeps going like this- kills more cats, does more horrible things- that somehow this will all go away. he cant face reality.

anyway. folds hands calmly on table. supperrr normal about this cat

-🦎

YES YES YES YOU GET IT!!!!! HES NOT EVIL HES JUST KIND OF A DUMBASS!!!! simplifying it but you explained it so perfectly like. ugh

AND I LOVE THE ART HOLY SHIT???? your STYLE your COLORS your EXPRESSIONS..... HE LOOKS SO GOOD!!!!!!!

[v-i-r-i-d-i-a-n]

Jay;”I’m miserable and I’m suffering and every day is a nightmare for me.”

Gillion;”The black rose- where’s chip?!”

Chip *in a grandma costume*;”I’m not gonna spell this out for you- I need you to figure this out yourself”

Gillion;”Grandma we need to get you to bed after this”

Bizly;”Chip had a revelation that rich people can steal, so we can just steal it”

CHARACTER REDESIGNS LETS GOOOO CHIP GREW STUBBLE

The way I’m literally in love with Jay Ferin

GILLION DIDNT KNOW JAY WAS UNDERCOVER MY BBB LMAO 😭😭

Gillion;”I’m sure your family is very nice and accepting, if they’re anything like you.”

Chip;”Then they’ll show up and we’ll kick some ass.”

Chip;”I dunno who did lying ever hurt?”

Charlie;”I start building an ice arena.”

Jay and Gillion moments Jay and Gillion moments Jay and Gillion moments

Devil Chip in Jays mind;”You can always lieeeeee 🤗”

Chip;”How about we…play a game, or go make some food- or something,” Chip bbg I love you so much lmg sobbing

Gillion saying Jay’s grandma would make a great elder of the undersea 😭😭😭

Gillion;”NOOOO NOOOOOO NOOOOO!!! NO WHAT?? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU WERE ABOUT TO SAY SMTH. IM SICK OF THIS SHIT IT HAPPENS ALL THE FUCKING TIME ON THIS SHIP”

Chip;”wagh! You just fuckin snuck up on me man-“

Grizzly;”No way he did.”

Gillion;”YAY IM LEARNING LOOK AT ME! :D”

Chip;”What would I do if I had a family- that’s already hard enough-“

Chip;”she’s way smarter than both of us, times ten.”

Chip;”So about the grandma thing-“

Gillion;”HOLY SHIT MY FUCKING GRANDPA”

Condi;”I’m so sad I’m depressed for this”

Astlana’s mom;”Hm, maybe you’ll find out one day”

Chip;”😧”

Astlana and Jay >>

Jay and any women ever >>>

Astlana;”My mom is a queen!”

Gillion;”Slay”

Chip;”No one wants anything besides- just friendship

Astlana;”You’re making it weird”

Chip;”I do that.”

Gillion;”Oh…oh fuck, oh the wom is hitting.”

Jay;”Mermaids lay eggs.”

Chip;”What.”

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

MAC HI don't mind me i just finished the genloss founders cut and im putting my ful lreview in ur inbox bc u said u weren't gonna watch it i think but i want 2 share my thoughts with someone who will not rip me to shreds for criticizing it even slightly <3

OK. I'M NOT GONNA LIE. IT KINDA SLAPPED. maybe i just think it was really good in comparison to the original four hours of streams that dragged on. i honestly thought the original streams of genloss were longer but NO all three streams add up to about four hours???? it just felt so much longer when i originally watched it i guess!!! u can understand why i am sure. but the founders cut was like two and a half and oh my goddddd cutting out a lot of it made such a huge difference. holy shit. like i definitely did get bored and skip through a little bit but honestly i didn't skip through much!! every time i got to a part where i was like "oh fuck not THIS bit that goes on for 30-45 minutes god dammit" it ended up being like maybe ten minutes at most which was SUCH A GODSEND. i am delighted to report that they cut the half hour cooking bit in the first episode down to like 7-8 minutes <3 the best surprise ranboo could have given me tbh. like with the way things were cut down and framed differently i actually laughed at a couple points????? WILD. did not think i would find any genuine comedy here. lowkey there were points that were funny. insane

honestly with the unfunny bits being cut down, it actually let the slightly more serious lore bits shine more, and the payoff for when it got to the third episode felt SO much more deserved. like. the original streams i'd probably give a 3/10 collectively and that's being generous but i would unironically say the founder's cut deserves like a 7/10. maybe a 7.5 if i found it in myself to ignore the bad special effects. (there was still plenty of bad comedy ngl i still don't know why charlie slimecicle's face was superimposed on a towel. that scene was nothing. it was literally nothing. they could have removed it and it would change nothing but they kept it in idk why)

ANYWAY. if they had released genloss like this first maybe i would unironically be a fan of it now. tbh. i would still be making fun of the bad comedy and the horror that was barely horror but i think i would actually be like participating in the fandom a lil and i would probably find it in me to find some charm in the bad special effects. all in all Not Bad!! not good, but not like actively bad. ofc im still running on the adrenaline of the ending because episode 3 was objectively the best out of them all so maybe my perception is skewed but. kinda decent. 7/10 👍 anyway i hope ur havin a good day i hope to finish pd season one soon over the next couple days!!!!!

taking the cowards route and putting my thoughts under the cut bc a lot of my mutuals these days really enjoy genloss and i don't want them to be mad at me

(genloss crit/neg/whatever under the cut)

dude this makes me so unironically sad . why the FUCK was genloss what it was the first time around when this was obviously the better route to go from the very beginning. I am still staunchly in my "I don't like genloss" position but. I DID WATCH IT. i sat through ALL of the original streams and it was so miserable for me. im not going 2 watxh the directors cut or whatever bc i dont hate myself enough to sit through all of that again but i trust your opinion!! if only it would've been planned out thought out prerecorded videos from the start I also probably would not hate it as much as I do!!! maybe I even would've liked it !!! (<< not likely bc i do have Other Issues with it than just the fact that it was too long too unfunny too unfocused etc whatever im getting into hater territory sorry. always welcome 2 genloss fans to try to explain to my why its Good Actually so i can recommend them actual horror media)

like . the streams added absolutely NOTHING to it other than that final choice scene or whatever. and even if they wanted to do that still u know what would've been an awesome smart choice??? prerecord and edit the whole thing and then premiere THAT video on twitch- then when it comes time for the final choice you can still have people vote!! then you can have two separate endings prepared based on which way the vote was swaying. like. its that easy. it would've made the whole experience so much more enjoyable . ughhghghg the fucking wasted potential on HOURS of unfunny badly improvved bits is so devastating

personally I still cant excuse the bad effects considering the amount of times ranboo bragged about the genloss budget like. maybe you should've used your resources better and also if it would've just been prerecorded from the start things wouldn't look as rushed as they did but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ what do I know !!

anyway I'm so glad this version was better but for me it will always ALWAYS be tainted by the . misery I felt while watching the streams lmaoooo . I wanted to like genloss so bad. I tried so hard. head in hands !!!!!!!!!!!

[deathlooksgoodonyou-if]

g-d i want to make my mc so fucking miserable and haunted by jules to the point of being one of those crazed artists that only have one muse they paint all the time, jules bleeds from their fingers like an uncontrolled tidal wave, jules is breathing on the back of their neck and guiding their hand to pen so they can write down all the what ifs, the hows, the whys, the whens, the everything of jules, jules has replaced their blood with endless ink and paint so that they never truly die, so that years from now, people will talk of the tragic yet famous artist that rendered jules with so much emotion, with hatred, disgust, love, devotion, happiness, yearning, desperation, and thats how they live on together, as the most tragic artist and their muse, how the artist died in their studio surrounded by their half finished works of jules, and how even years later, people will recreate the art, will even attempt to capture the artist themselves, sorry im gonna cry this made me so fucking emotional what the hell, literally one of the few ifs that makes me poetic holy fucking shit

Well, I have good news for you, anon— this is canon. Poetry, sculpting, painting....I have a soft spot for all things artistic. You can use your art as an emotional outlet. But I certainly won't dive into it too deeply because then we would get diverted from the main plot. But please go ahead, make Jules immortal through your art. 🫶

[legy]

media tag 2024

#42. Mouthwashing

mouthwashing is good in a way that im shocked it developed the fandom it did. its a dark, moody, atmospheric horror game with themes that broadly speaking are well handled. much of the visuals of the game are extremely inspired and WITH SOME VERY BAD EXCEPTIONS the actual gameplay is minimal but engaging enough to keep playing.

THAT SAID.

full spoilers for mouthwashing and tw for a frank discussion of rape and suicide

i talked myself into liking the cannibalism as a, like, wanting to become captain and have a slice of the success and fortune Curly had so bad you end up literally taking a slice out of him

but the way the game handles rape is just fucking miserable. completely unnecessary plot element. anya gets so little screen time compared to the other four characters and she's defined solely by being miserable and useless. and it doesn't even successfully utilize the dogshit trope of a woman's sexual trauma to further the narratives of the men around her bc Jimmy basically does not give a shit or even acknowledge it AND he probably would have snapped and driven into the asteroid either way

and it Sucks that anya is portrayed as "med school flunkie" when by just looking at her accomplishments on paper. she managed to keep a guy alive for five months despite needing to amputate all his limbs and his skin and face. she managed to keep Herself alive to third trimester of a pregnancy in a doomed dwindling resources situation (no indication that she miscarried outside of physically not showing at 6+ months). she's like working miracles here

when the game is good it's really good. I really like how the game does framing, sometimes, like how it shows Jimmy distancing himself from Daisuke's death by having you physically back away down a hall, but holy shit there is so much padding in a 3 hour game

the Daisuke's death bit would hit much harder if you didn't periodically break out of Jimmy's pov in contexts that have far less thematic substance

also the game showed its hand SO early on Jimmy being a piece of shit

if I were script doctoring mouthwashing I would probably combine anya and daisuke into one character

Anya is a plucky new intern who replaced their established medic at the last second and is completely in over her fucking head

the sexual assault subplot would suck less if she got any characterization at all. and I think we don't lose That much from folding swansea apprenticing daisuke and getting him to become mouthwash alcoholic into anya who is long game trying to overdose and kill herself

also i think the developer of this game is really scared of horses and decided to make it everyone else's problem