#but im just so privileged yknow
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im trying to imagine what it'd be like if I actually got to grow up as a trans guy- like not think about it at 16 like actually as a child grow up trans and be on puberty blockers n shit and then trying to hangout w my brother and his friends like we used to in HS and smoke weed or w/e and actually every outcome I can imagine would've made my experiences then worse. like I was made fun of often, but now it would be worse bc my brother is the one who would make fun of me, he would know I was trans and wouldnt give af about respecting it (he didnt when i first came out and still doesnt) so he'd use that to make fun of me. I'd probably be excluded even more, they'd probably try to emphasize how we're different from eachother even more and act like me wanting to be included in things was cringe- like where is this privilege yall are talking about it would not have been better like at all. I had to pretend to be a girl just to be like normal friends with them bc they seem to treat people perceived to be women and accept being called a woman more neutrally and inclusively than ppl who want to be seen as and called men, tf are you talking about. what kind of upside down world do you live in where trans guys somehow have it better. where are these cishet guys who are just so accepting and not at all demeaning or judgmental about trans guys ever. where are they bc I want to be friends with them.
#if i ask to hangout as a trans guy i get weird glares for 'trying to be like them'. if i dont reveal my transness at all and ask to hangout#they dont think twice about it. almost like im oppressed and they're trying to force me out of my identity#WHERES THE PRIVILEGE#they would take me in as a butch lesbian sooner than as a trans guy. for some reason me outloud saying i want to be a guy kicks in#some sort of programming that makes them essentially try to force fem me#shaming me and ignoring me any time i try to do something 'a man would do' and emphasizing when I do something 'a woman would do'#meanwhile before I even mentioned being trans they wouldn't've given a single shit if i did something 'a man would do'#speaking the desire to be a man is seen as a threat and 'something to be dealt with asap'. im only allowed to go as far as they let me.#but im just so privileged yknow
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Ok fuck it you know something I've never really quite understood about part of the Leftist vs Liberals debate on voting.
So so so many people act like its either-or. Like you're either dedicating your entire life to voting and promoting politicians and phone banking or whatever, or you're a True Rebel waiting for The Uprising to Come and Solve Everything.
But like. In my experience. Me voting is just me kinda go 'which person seems kinda good? Which one at least sucks the least? ok lemme go vote.' and then its anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour tops of my life. And I still have plenty of time to do Stuff and participate in Conversations about Other Important Things. And also you can admit and acknowledge and understand that the system As Is kinda sorta really sucks ass, but also still admit and acknowledge and understand that at this current point in time we are still living in the suckass system and do something to alleviate the suckass At Least A Little while also working to bolster/create/advocate for Other Systems.
I guess just like. it's not a black or white thing. Between 'top 500 volunteers for a specific politician/voting office/etc' and 'absolutely positively not voting at all' there is a gray area called 'vote and then just do other stuff'.
#out of queue#ani rambles#ani rant#now hang on its time to acknowledge my Privilege(TM)#the first few times I ever voted for anything I was in college and the student center was a voting center#so asides from waiting in a long (~30 minute tops bc early vote) line to get in I didn't have to do a big drive or anything#and at my house there's a voting center thats a like 5 minute drive from my place or a 10 minute drive depending on what election it is#and im ablebodied and have a open (read: jobless) schedule so I can Just Go for the most part#i live in a City so there's probs lots of voting centers at churches and libraries and all across town too#but like. some people act like people saying Hey Go Vote Plz are screaming like#'if you don't donate 200 dollars and 4+ weeks of your time to canvassing and calling and volunteering you are RUINING AMERICA'#when at least from what I've seen its just like. 'can you maybe go fill in a bubble on a Scantron so people like me don't Die Faster.'#also there's early voting and mail-in voting and all that jazz like yeah the current system makes it harder to vote but theres still W AYS#you don't gotta pull up at 6am on Election Day Tuesday yknow?#if i get blasted for this remember as I was: happy and rambling at 3am about greenhouses and solarpunk stuff#plz be nice i beg k bye
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I miss being younger and believing the queer community was actually a safe space
#turns out white queers hate poc just as much as literally every other white person ever 💔#big bummer for young me man I feel like the part of me that still believed in people being inherently good broke a little more that day#That sounds super dramatic but it's true in a way#hard to have faith in the inherent kindness of humanity when u grow up black in a predominantly white area 💀#this just reminded me but those positivity posts that r like 'people Are kind' and then like say smth oddly profound kind of make me hopeful#but then just kind of upset#they always feel like theyre comming from a place of privilege yknow#like bro i wish strangers were nice to me out of actual kindness#and not a weird need to prove to the world that theyre not racist without actually putting in any effort to be antiracist#'hey look at me treating this black like a human being! see? im an ally! i posted black sqaures in 2020 and have blm in my bio!'#this is bc my local juneteenth festival got canceled due to lack of funding bc. yknow its been 4yrs#everyones (white ppl) moved on#they dont care anymore and they dont need to bc they alr did the bare minimum to absolve themselves of guilt#rant#ig im lucky i live in a super queer town but its so overwhelmingly white it kind if cancels that out yknow#personal#okay to reblog#if u want to ig idk#moth.txt
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Honestly i really do know im being annoying with this but the logistics of swapping out Avon and Raistlin and watching what theh do is the greatest form of Playing With Dolls I've ever ever had. Its a serotonin treadmill. You've heard of watching a brilliant, dark tortured genius asshole slowly create his own downfall what about landing in the middle of such a slipperyslope and starting to turn it into an entirely different one. AND THERE'S PVP ALLOWED, one of my main options rn is Avon-as-Raistlin starts planning how to re-open the connection and either undo this or pass some more things between the worlds- and Raistlin-as-Avon is like FINDERS KEEPERS BITCH. Paying It (The Lichdom Curse) Forewards, im staying in your life and im winning at it, fuck off. And Avon's like, ex-fucking-scuse me?
#what if. in this route avon is repoening the connection through magic raist-as-avon is gonna start regaining the capscity for magic too.#and it can be a Metaphysical Wizard Duel AND like an emotional climax whhen their parties catch up#and like. avon coming back for his friends carried on a storm. the fact that despite dverything he would fight for it-#even if hes doing it for an Incredibly Specific Way he wants to benefit power from merging both worlds that STILL a level of#coming back for his friends and lives and such yknow. its gonna affect them.#and raistlin possibly seeing caramon again-#i dont think avon would be as desperate to strike out on his own thats a raist psychological thing-#and maybe trying to appeal through the barrier like. hey! if you want what's good for me. GET HIS ASS. I want to stay here!#and that classic kind of tension between them. caramon wanrs his brother back and raistlin thinking of it as caramon wanting him Weak#and Dependant on his protection. the whole aspect of like body and strength swap is very. interesting and a bit#yuck politically but thats part of the fun. this isnt a cure narrative this is game of thrines musical chairs over resources-#the bodies the magic the many differences in Circumstances that seperate the two wars-#not just genre but straight up strategical details. the privileges of space age comforts vs having an almost even chance at victory. etc et#YOU SEE ME. IM HAVING FUNNNNN#THIS IS SO FUN. IT SHOULD BE A NOVELLA LENGTH ZINE FROM THE 90S UNFORTUNATELY ITS JUST ME IN MY HEAD. BUT#cally can probably sense something is wrong from the start. mentally....#the grudging respect raist would have for blake vs unlike avon he is entirely capable of backstabbing the hell out of them all.#avon would find the Expanded DL Party loud and weirdly social and annoying and pass off as raist through that easily#but also just. as i said i think he's way less likely to actually Act to further only himself like raist would#especially as Not Native to this setting like. no use aloanating possible resources. hes just gonna steer them All As A Group towards#paths of survival and advantage in the war that are Also to his personal magic based benefits i think#im having FUN#yknow what i might make this my Pinned. im Going Through A Moment.#dragons of the sad embezzler
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Wendy for the ask meme!
#answers#pine prattles#you know how stan feels about her? me too. me fucking too buddy#i never am actively thinking about wendy bc im so style privilege yknow#but then i look at her and i get so sicklove and i just. i just wanna cry#i adore wendy beyond words AND with my WHOLE ass heart
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its always confusing to me when im out with ren and ppl greet us both as ladies like i know i look like a cis alt girl to most people but ren is just some guy for the most part so its like ??? what r u reading on him that u can tell he doesnt have a penis ???? but my running theory is that when i dress up really cute and transtrender-coded ppl look at me and theyre like "oh thats definitely a lesbian. so that other thing cant possibly be its boyfriend. this is lesbians im looking at."
#im okay being guydykes i think#Weird Queer lesbians make me a lot more comfortable being seen and interpreted as a lesbian#even if most people dont see me as Not A Girl BC they see me as a lesbian#transmale lesbians and bi lesbians and multigender lesbians and really just#anyone who really really blurs the edges of the hard definitions other queers try to force on us#those people existing make me feel so so SO much better abt it yknow?#like neither of us are dykes in any easily-understood or Traditional Girl way but#i can be guydykes#im alright with that#also like its funny being online and seeing people constantlyyyyy talking abt skinny white transmascs who pass well bc like passing is cond#tional at BEST lmfao#'passing privilege' go outside w one of these tboys and get called slurs and maybe then you will see#doubtful but still it seems like u could maybe use a reality check#🕷❣
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#vent post vent post lalalala#i wanted to post some pictures from my weekend trip with my friends before its too late but then i saw my fucking face and now i wanna kms#like oh my god. oh my god this is really truly the face im stuck with forever and ever and ever till the day im fuckin rotting in the groun#incredible how unfair life can be lmao (<- girl who is having such incredibly superficial stupid fucking problems but is otherwise#quite privileged but of course that will never be fucking enough for her because she's soooooo fckn stupid and selfish and annoyinggg lol)#i dont know why im so obsessed with it now#like i genuinely remember KNOWING that im kinda ugly (and fat) in high school and being like 'so what lol idc'#so WHY is it such an issue now?????#idk. i just kinda wish i was dead every time i look at my face and realise there's nothing i can do to change it#i can dress in ways that will cover my ugly ass shapeless body. maybe i can even go back to my ed properly this time#and lose some weight. for a time. before i gain back twice as much and the circle begins anew lol#but my face is not gonna change no matter what i do lmao unless i fucking scrape it off with a grater or smash my head into pieces#and like. even if i do get that rhinoplasty (its not gonna change my faceshape anyway. nothing i can do to fix THAT fuckin atrocity)#every time ill look in the mirror i will only be reminded that its fake. and that my natural face was disgusting enough it had to be cut up#to be fixed somewhat.#i just wish i had ONE. just ONE nice thing about my body. literally just one its not even funny lol#and its so fucked up when you look at my mom who was so insanely fucking beautiful when she was my age. like. i cant blame her#cause how could she have known that the genes she'll pass on will not result in anything good lol but also i feel like such a failure#like its not really my fault i got the genes i got. but yknow.#anyway im tired of always being the ugliest person in any group im hanging out with. my cousins? check. my hometown friends? check.#my uni friends? my GOD check (how ARE they all so pretty and skinny??? insane).#god i wish i were dead. like fr fr. im not actively suicidal since i cant bring myself to *do* shit anyway. but i just wish i never existed
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I have mistakenly scrolled through the fob tag (usually I am not this disappointed tbh) and I must be missing half the conversation because there are so many posts defending the tswift collab but like... without knowing what potential problems people actually have about it
"the fob fanbase is scared of the tswift fanbase" what "they've been friends for years" who is saying this stuff
#fall out boy#im...#is????/#hUH#that. that's not?#i#anyway#I saw this tiktok today about why white people esp white women are so attached to tsw*ft and excusing her actions so easily#and yeah there's a lot of obvious answers to that#but this really summed it up well:#white women see themselves in taylor. she does not do a lot with her platform (privilege) but still “stands with” oppressed groups#but when she's got a shitty boyfriend who makes racist jokes? nothing#and that's exactly what white women do. they brush shoulders with racists every day and sometimes even laugh at those racist jokes#but if they (white women fans) hold taylor accountable#they then have to hold *themselves* accountable#whether they realize it or not yknow#and I'm guilty of this too!!!!! 10000%. I'm white and have to assess my willingness to excuse sketchy shit (and expose it /to myself/ and-#realize that it's more than just “sketchy shit”)#but yeah this is all over the place and something something cognitive dissonance#btw you should not be taking anti-racism lessons from me lmao go find some good bandom blogs that talk about this more in depth#I reblog from some^ I don't know urls
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yall my ex is so lucky we're not together now that I'm off my meds for like. not even the reason that makes sense.
#oooooh i have no appetite now that I'm not on multiple meds with weight gain as a side effect#surely that aspect of my being is evil of me#pretty sure my unmedicated bipolar disorder would just be like fun for him bc im not always depressed anymore#not to be like crazy or whatever but the fact that while i was taking meds and working on my relationship w food they were like. bitter?#like demonized me both having problems with food and seeking help for them#&viewed my being on medication as exceptionally privileged which like. i wish i was on them again i get it but also getting that 'privilege'#required 1) my own fucking money i got from having a job something they didnt get until we broke up and i was like#im not paying off our apartment alone so either you or your parents owe me money every month#and 2) getting hospitalized after an attempt#because i had the privilege of being on twice the max dose of an antidepressant that didnt help me#like. ugh yes it was a privilege and one that i miss having but it also sucked getting there it wasnt like#idk the way they framed it was always like i was offered the fucking luck of the draw on it or whatever#like sorry? remember when i was on so much lexapro i went into a dissociative fugue and started dating you lol fuck off#because i actually genuinely dont remember like 6 or 7 months because of that shit!#i actually ended up hospitalized from it and all i remember hearing about it was that you were sad bc you felt you werent enough to stop it#like it had fucking anything to do with you#like wish them all the best but damn. actually they sucked very very badly. i hope they figure it out one day but probably not#ik theyre on antidepressants now so yknow. im sure theyll forget being medicated means theyre privileged now#becomes normal once its them or some shit
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And what if I did it. What if I translated this thing to Spanish for fun
#it'd be a fun project for sure but if i have to deal with typing quirks i'd rather just explode /lh#not a literal translation bc yknow how these things go. he talks so fucking much it make me wanna kill him#hashtag TW hashtag word privilege hashtag circumlocutionism hashtag periphrasis shaming hashtag shut the hell up#all that aside i wish i had a VA for this bro#bc im so curious to hear how the translation would sound. like if it'd fit him well enough?? smth like that#there was a fan spanish translation of hs itself. but i dont think there was anything done beyond (hah) the main comic#kinda sad bc this guy's anime villain monologues are fun to translate. he really would say acuciante. this irritating fuck#homestuck#homestuck beyond canon#<- idk just in case??#yomiel speaks
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@deliciousdefendorinternet
I believe I have found the secret hack Bruce used to earn Branch's forgiveness. But alas, now Branch REALLY won't beat the baby allegations, because I can 100% believe that he hides in Bruce's hair when he's in town for multiple reasons, ranging from a good napping spot to a good hiding spot when he's angsty. And even the regular old hide-and-seek spot, since apparently Bruce didn't feel him in there. Probably doesn't help that he's so light.
Anyway, I'm just marveling at Branch's babyness, because for years I swore up and down he had baby energy. Like, I could never explain it, but something about him just screamed PRECIOUS BABY. Little did I know how right I was.
Just some fluff in the long Road to El Perdón (The Forgiveness), because our boi deserves a break from the never-ending angst that is him life.
Bro is never gonna beat the babiest brother allegations if he keeps up with the baby troll activities smh...
#dreamworks trolls#trolls band together#trolls branch#trolls bruce#trolls spruce#trolls poppy#trolls floyd#IM SO OBSESSED W HOW BIG BRUCES HAIR IS LOLL#i bet branch and floyd hide in there a lot#actually#i think theyre both small enough to hide in clays rat nest- i mean hair#maybe#Branch really will never beat the Baby Allegations#ever#and brozone will forever suffer because they still have to earn back babying privileges#and that will take a while on account that branch has to relearn how to be babied because yknow#just brozone suffering in a cute way and branch vibing
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Lying in bed crying about Alfred's fucked up identity situation
#usually im like. Understandable But Still Yuck about his Samah Apologisms in the epilogue#but i read a quite good Luke Grappling With Vader fic and while not directly applying it did make me think#about how much i feel it's because of how Alfred still measures himself compared to Samah#in a fucked up way.#and how so much of his Issues- this is about the serpent mage emotional abuse but also In General i think he definitely#has some childhood baggage that the whole Last Sartab This Is All On You thing only. Enhanced into the complete. emotional ruin we meet#but all of that. All Of That is about Inadequacy it's about not being Enough in a society that justified it's crimes by its perfection#and then he detaches himself from that and chooses to align himself with the patryn. and.#you know. like. the sartan goverment did do awful things and v much everyone is complicit in privilege ways#but People Are People is the point of the series but the point of the series is also it takes time to drill that point in and this kind of#trauma and hesitance of the oppressed group is v reasonable and worth respecring in some ways.#you know realisticlly he's gonna have to smile politely while people accept his existence as An Outlier To The Still Ancient Enemy cuz#'you aren't really... (vauge handwave at all his stuff) A Real Sartan' and he isn't going to DEFEND HIS EMOTIONAL CONNECTION TO SARTANESS#TO A BUNCH OF LABYRINTH DWELLERS HE'S BARELY GONNA SEE AGAIN.#like even if he wasn't World's Most Confrontation Averse- who would do that#so he's just. yknow. forced to qgain internalize in a way this basic fear or belief he has#and even if he can now build himself a self worth that isn't tied to being A Good Sartan- and he can and he will-#that's still tearing something away so much from a new direction?#AND DON'T GET ME STARTED HOW THIS. LITERALLY CONNECTS WITH HAPLOS CORE CHARACTER CONCEPT#MAN WHO SHREDS HIMSELF TO BITS TO BE WHAT HIS SOCIETY WANTS A PATRYN MAN TO BE AND NOTHING MORE#AND. (gender redacted) who CAN'T. who is too much of all the wrong things but too little of the right ones-#actually no that's the goddamn serpent mage he IS a sartan ideal but#he isn't Granted that.#idk. he's just. his home is a person because they are literally so woven together into one story#but also. haplo very much gets his own community still belonging in and his love interest and. and Alfred just kind of has this.#both worlds and neither situation.#& hes disabled and effeminate and His People are gone and his people are right across the street and may or may not be inventing new slurs#for him.#OH AND HE GETS A GOOD PERFECT USEFUL BODY HE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO OVERUSE OR GET ADDICTED TO THE SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE OF.#just. how do you expect him to believe Samah was wrong about him if everyone agrees- he just Can't Be Enough?
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#chatty#i do work extra hard to prove myself because of transphobia#like as a direct result of coming out to my family#and them finding a way to make every possible problem a reason why im transgender#so what choice do i have other than to be perfect!#i have to be perfect.have to have my life together. now ive impressed them with an apartment.#they literally said to me... yknow youre doing everything right. youre a nice person you work hard#except for this one thing! this mental illness that you have!#i literally made a choice one day... during the early transitioning days... you have to work hard and do more shit than anyone else#so they CANT mysteriously cut all your hours when you transition#of course other more positive motivation mixed in there but its a real scar i have#now that i can quote unquote pass if i want to#i see the male privilege... people just respect me and take me seriously or look to me for direction when i dont know what im doing#its just one of those things i cant explain to cis people#and i cant connect with to people#because first i have to deal with coming out... then i have to tastefully dance around my fucking abusive family...#i definitely have it very good because a im white b i live in bc.#but sometimes i forget how bad it is#i almost didnt make it
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Girl Of My Dreams — Mat Barzal
Summary: In which Mat Barzal inadvertently falls for the oldest Hughes sibling and her brothers aren’t happy.
Content Warning; Taylor swift 1989 isn’t by Tay(its by reader) Mentions of University of Alabama (reader went there) Trevor Zegras being hopelessly in love with reader. Readers social media face claim is Addison Rae bc idc she’d clear as a WAG for a athlete.
Pairing: Mat Barzal x Hughes! Reader.
Mat would be lying if he said he didn’t sneak glances at the announcers box after meeting you. You had been carrying a plate of food and two margaritas to your booth where your friends sat. Tito had made a joke about you seeming familiar then the pair heard your voice and knew, “Alright now, eat up because y’all are bumming me out.” Mat’s jaw slacked, “He’d known that the Islanders had gotten a new game announcer who was a girl but he wouldn’t have known it was you. You were effortlessly stunning, you had captivated the attention of every straight man in the bar. Mat had approached you as you sat at the bar, “I’m Mat, can I buy you a drink?”
You grinned and spoke, southern accent slipping out, “I’m Y/N, I mean Barzy after the way you played last game? You better buy me a drink. ‘Yknow how many hate comments my broadcast got?” Mat grinned as the bartender approached you, “Another Corona Light and whatever she’s having on me.” You grinned sheepishly, “I’m fucking with you. I’ve heard worse.” Mat grinned, “So now would probably be a shitty time to ask you out?” You smiled at him, “Maybe not.” Mat smiled, “If I may, your not from New York are you? Where are you from?” You grinned, “I grew up in Toronto with my 3 younger brothers and moved to Alabama for college and been in New York for a few months now.” Mat grinned, “Well welcome to New York beautiful.” That was a year and a half ago. You still hadn’t told your brothers who your boyfriend was, just that his name was Mathew. Until your album release came creeping in and you wanted to go public with Mat.
Instagram
ynhughes; my album ‘1997’ is now streaming! thank you for all your support(especially the bf, ‘slut’ and ‘suburban legends’ are 4 us)
barzal97: celebrating you is my favorite pastime. i have never met someone who people gravitate towards more than you. you are by far the most wonderfully amazing woman i know. it is a privilege to say i love you🤎 this past year or so has changed my life. you make living easy and so so much better. i can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you.
trevorzegras: alexa play that should be me💔💔
ynhughes: forever in awe of you mathew barzal. amazed a gal like me is lucky enough to be adored by you🤎
oliviarodrigo; THEY HIT THE PENTAGON!! @conangray
>conangray; told you it was them i saw at radio music hall!
ny_islanders; our roman empire is all the sweet posts for to y/n today🥹🥹
sydneyemartin: brb crying. the purest people in the world. so grateful my girls get to grow up seeing a love this pure that isn’t their parents.
>ynhughes: we adore your girls more than words can express.
_quinnhughes: my biggest inspiration is out here killing it. in awe of you everyday sissy🥹 thank you for being my best friend from day 1
ynhughes: in a puddle of tears quinny. thank you for always being on my side, even when im wrong.
sabrinacarpenter; hockey players making me ugly sob wasn’t on my 2023 bingo card
elhughes; my first babies🥹 extremely emotional over you all today
>_quinnhughes: we love you momma💕
jackhughes: 1997 reasons to love my meanie head sister, i guess her bf’s alright
ynhughes: i love you little brat, come visit me and mat!!
>jackhughes: will do, sissy🫡
trevorzegras: i can’t believe she won’t date me 😞😞
>ynhughes: buck up z, your way too young for me. perfect age for @sabrinacarpenter tho!
lukehughes: the worlds best big sister came out with the best album to date
ynhughes; really feeling the hughes love train today, i need to plan for all of us to be together soon! so y’all can meet Mat!
etnow; this just in; the Hughes brothers have brought tears to my eyes supporting their sister
barzal97: the third picture is actually the most accurate representation of your sister now
>lukehughes; always messing with those darn cats! even if they are on the side of the street.
#hockey player x reader#fanfic#hockey#nhl#nhl fanfiction#social media#jack hughes x reader#jack x reader#mat barzal x reader#mat barzal#hughes sister#1989 taylor's version#music#addison rae
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I'm so blessed that such old art of mine has reached an audience that recognizes the struggles that fat people go through and doesn't laugh at it.
And oh fuck is the bathroom stall thing real. My university has a shit ton of bathroom stalls that have installed the toilet paper dispenser too low so that I can't even sit properly without my thigh touching it.
I feel like I always have to be self deprecating about it too if I dont want to be seen as annoying or entitled. Fat people are allowed in thin spaces sure, but we certainly aren't welcome.
Inktober Day 28: Ride
#I could talk about this forever#i want to continue to make art that gives fat people the representation we've been robbed of#god even in diverse spaces we aren't welcome yknow?#sorry im rambling i just come back to this blog every so often and the fact something this old is getting this attention is bewildering to#me#fat art#fatphobia#thin privilege
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Im about to get controversial.
Out of chrollo, illumi and hisoka, hisoka is canonically the least likely to flirt to get anything he wants, if at all.
A lot of people think he's a natural flirt but I fear I couldn't have disagreed more. He only "flirted" a single time and that was solely to piss off machi, knowing she'd never agree. Hot take? He would've never asked if he knew she'd agree.
Also, bro's the biggest humanphobe in the anime. He keeps his distance from everyone. The only human physical contact he ever made was through fighting people. (If you're a person thats interested in seeing more evidence, I have an entire long thread about it on twitter that I do plan on posting here soon)
so u cannot give me 1 reason for hisoka to flirt with someone at a random bar but chrollo and illumi? i can think of a few.
chrollo, he already canonically flirts to get what he wants. straight up goes on dates gets a suit and shit. he has no reputation among the general public that hes concerned of that isnt the spider. Illumi? He's a manipulator. I HIGHLY doubt he never flirted to get something in his life from people who are too easy to win over. He's someone that wouldn't care what people think of him. He's also anonymous. People have no idea who tf he is anyways. If it affected the zoldyck reputation? Thats a different story.
Hisoka? he would fucking NEVER. Him specifically? HE HAS A REPUTATION. And whats that reputation? That hes an absolute disgusting freak that no one should dare to approach. He kills people. He fights live and makes sure the audience is always disgusted and weirded out by his actions and performances. You look at him and you should immediately look away and pray he hasn't seen you.
So riddle me this. If his entire shtick is making sure everyones afraid of him and avoids him, then why the hell would he get himself a reputation that makes him approachable????
Why would he get himself a reputation that makes you, as a person who only ever heard of him picking people up, want to approach him.
On top of that, I just.. don't see him picking random people up..??? random weaklings that dont even know nen????? he literally treats them like trash that inconveniences his time. You're saying he'd EVER give them the privilege of sleeping with him???
And then you'd say, oh so he'd sleep with strong people! HERES THE THING. Why would he sleep with them..... when he can fight them. Him getting off from fighting comes NOWHERE to actual sex. What people don't understand is that he gets off to killing people and seeing them crumble in front of him when they realize theyre going to die. Torturing people to death. What's... that got to do with like. yknow. actual sex bro 😭😭😭😭😭😭
this turned into a huge rant probably but do you know how genuinely depressing it is seeing a unique character like hisoka that gains lust through FIGHTING and KILLING reduced to. sex addict in fics. Like. be so fucking serious right now. He called himself a FIGHT ADDICT in the manga. Can I see more of him actually spending his time killing and fighting people instead of whatever the hell bros doing with a random npc.
Anyways this is also why I hc him as asexual/demisexual NEXTTTT
#When a fic is so good but they make a hisoka a sex god instead of a murderer. like dear god. Ya Allah. Mercy on me.#can i please get more fics where he absolutely fucking murders people in deranged ways like god (Togashi) intended instead of....#(checks notes) .....sex???#sorry to me this is 1 fanon characterization that i just gag from i cannot physically stomach that shit anymore.#also the way he never touched a single human and is not a touchy person yet the musical made disgustingly touchy with everyone including go#i saw red when i saw that one scene.#thats not fucking hisoka morow thats hekosa pedoro#if togashi wanted him to sleep around he would've so simply and easily made him mention that. Like even leorio said he jacks off.#yet togashi didnt. because HE DOESNT.#HISOKA GET BEHIND ME#anyways asexual hisoka morow canon goodnight everyone#also trans hisoka can we get a little more content of that i know its completely unrelated but pls im starving#i would put the “ill do it myself meme” WHICH I DO I HAVE A DEMI HISOILLU FIC but im so slow at writing fics sobs and throws up#hisoillu#hisoka x illumi#illumi#illumi zoldyck#hisoka#hisoka morow#chrollo#chrollo lucilfer#hxh#hunter x hunter#my post#my analysis
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