#if i get blasted for this remember as I was: happy and rambling at 3am about greenhouses and solarpunk stuff

[solarpunkani]

Ok fuck it you know something I've never really quite understood about part of the Leftist vs Liberals debate on voting.

So so so many people act like its either-or. Like you're either dedicating your entire life to voting and promoting politicians and phone banking or whatever, or you're a True Rebel waiting for The Uprising to Come and Solve Everything.

But like. In my experience. Me voting is just me kinda go 'which person seems kinda good? Which one at least sucks the least? ok lemme go vote.' and then its anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour tops of my life. And I still have plenty of time to do Stuff and participate in Conversations about Other Important Things. And also you can admit and acknowledge and understand that the system As Is kinda sorta really sucks ass, but also still admit and acknowledge and understand that at this current point in time we are still living in the suckass system and do something to alleviate the suckass At Least A Little while also working to bolster/create/advocate for Other Systems.

I guess just like. it's not a black or white thing. Between 'top 500 volunteers for a specific politician/voting office/etc' and 'absolutely positively not voting at all' there is a gray area called 'vote and then just do other stuff'.

[serosinkyslut]

“I need you”

Sero x fem!Black reader

Warnings: mentions of drugs, smut, p r a i s e, slight bruising, some overstim w/ nipple play, panic attack, angst, choking, and squirting

Summary: You’re about to tell Sero a thing or two after getting a call from him at 3am. But his response leads to a different discussion…

Word count: about 2.7k

Author’s note: Quick question/// how did we all come to an agreement that Sero smokes?? Is this canon? Could it be canon?

Authors note pt. 2: I didn’t think the angst would be so long, so just skip to the {***}asterisks if you just wanna read the smut

The Sero you know has always been calm, cool, and collected. When you receive a phone call at 3am, you assume it’s one of his usual antics; him asking you if you’ve heard Megan’s new song, explaining why Denki is such a dumbass, or his take on the Netflix show you told him to watch. The bright light of your phone stings your eyes before you hear the ringtone. Taki Taki by Selena Gomez blasts from your nightstand- a song Sero knew annoyed the crap out of you, and hence forced you to set it as his ringtone after a bet you lost months ago. Hearing it so many times now, after all, Sero was your best friend and boyfriend, the tune wasn’t as bad. As you reach over to answer it, silencing the dumb song, you’re semi-pissed off and ready to tell Sero that whatever he has to say can definitely wait til morning. You were exhausted and had just seen Sero only a few hours ago. However, when you answer the phone, the soft but audible sniffle instantly shuts you up.

There’s a shaky breath before “y/n...I....” he pauses, trying to regain control of his broken voice. Your heart squeezes terribly as he tried to force himself to talk. What had happened? You were just laughing together not too long ago.

“Sero? What’s wrong? Are you okay??”

You hear him struggling to tell you what’s going on with him, but only a strangled cry comes out as he bursts into tears. You’ve never heard Sero this broken, this distraught. Hell, you’ve hardly ever seen him have a semi bad day. Tears prickle at the corner of your eyes. It hurts you to know that your bestfriend is in so much pain.

“I need you,” he manages to get out through gasps.

“I’m on my way right now,” you tell him in a smooth, stable voice. You’re scared that it’ll only freak him out even more if he knew how panicked you were. In a total frenzy, you throw on a big shirt and grab your car keys on the way out, not even thinking about your bonnet still on your head, your raggedy house slippers on your feet, or even the fact that you're dashing out your apartment at 3am with no pants on. You can only think about Sero, and how bad he must be feeling to call you in absolute tears. You don’t bother with a seatbelt, and hardly look out for other cars as you zoom to his apartment. A trip that should have taken 20 minutes didn’t even take 10 as you park in the spot Sero was convinced was just for you. A space directly in front of his apartment that was always vacant, and also so happened to be right next to his car. Your feet fly you to the second floor and you fumble searching for the red cheetah printed key to his apartment that he copied for you. He thought it was hilarious how tacky it was, and even customized his own key so that you guys could match. That was Sero for you- always thinking of you. Always going the extra mile to see you happy. And now that precious boy was suffering, crying alone in his apartment. “Wait...is he even in his apartment?” You slam your palm to your forehead. You didn’t even bother asking where he was before rushing over. Fuck. Sending a silent prayer, you flip out the red key and open the door.

As soon as you do, a gush of smoke exits, flooding your nostrils with the smell of weed. You can hardly see into the space, trying to make it safely to Sero’s room where you figure he must be, smoking in his little alcove by the window with the air diffuser on. Instead, you hear his sniffling from the living room, almost blocked out by the tv which, ironically, is in fact playing the Netflix show that you recommended to him last week. Dragging your eyes from the flashing tv, you focus your attention to the shaking lump of covers on the sofa. Taking deep breaths, you walk towards him.

“Sero?” you whisper quietly and he freezes. He doesn’t respond, but you know he heard you. “Sero... I’m here”. You take a few more wary steps before you place your hand on the blanket he’s hiding under and peel it always carefully, revealing the top of his head. You bend down to get a look at his face, but when you try, he only lowers his head even more. You smooth his hair down with one hand, and place the other ever so gently under his chin, trying to get him to look at you. “Look at me, Sero. Please? Tell me what’s wrong”. Sero, being one to never deny you anything you ask for, tilts his head up gingerly. His eyes are totally bloodshot, and you can’t tell if it’s from the weed, the crying, or both. But either way, it breaks you I’m so many different ways. Sero opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. You slip into the thick covers with him and press him to your chest, wrapping your arms around his head. Almost instinctively, he wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face into you while gripping you tightly like his life depends on it. You keep smoothing down his hair, whispering a mix of “everything’s okay. I’m here. It’s okay. You’re safe,” while peckering kisses on his head. It takes a few minutes to calm down from his.. panic attack? Jesus, you want to know what’s wrong so you can fix it. Once he’s stable, he finally looks up at you with those big beautiful eyes and kisses your chin. Then your jaw, neck, collar bones, and finally stopping at the gap between your breasts. He sighs in to you, face between your breasts, and reluctantly releases his grip around your waist. All of a sudden, everything spills out at once. He rambles on about how 5 civilians had died right in front of him two months ago. 3 of them being children. How he could’ve saved them if he had been a better hero. How he was having nightmares about them, and about you. It could have been you that day. Would he be able to save you then? Would you resent him for being so weak? He’d been getting high almost every night to ease his anxiety, but he finally cracked when the Netflix show you gave him had a child die in the last scene of the 2nd season. That was the trigger for his first panic attack. When he called you, he was right in the middle of it, and couldn’t think of someone better to contact. And his gut was right. Just you holding him in your arms made the bad thoughts go away. You were better than the weed, better than all the numerous distractions he had to make him think about everything but the accident. He felt safe. He felt loved. He never knew that was what he needed most. Now that he was calm in your arms, he wanted to reciprocate all the love you always showered him.

*** [here’s the smut you whores]

He began pressing sloppy, wet kisses against the base of your neck, sucking so hard on the skin that you knew for a fact it would leave a bruise or two. “I love you y/n. You’re so good to me,” he breathes before licking long stripes along your collarbone. “I love you so much”. Dammit this man was high as hell. You felt some guilt bubbling in the pit of your stomach at Sero’s advances. Should you be enjoying this as much as you are right now? Your best friend just had a panic attack. Yet, the feeling was quickly replaced by a pleasurable heat as he firmly grabbed your ass with one hand and pressed his boner against your cunt, pushing almost painfully hard through your thin T-shirt. It wasn’t until that moment you remembered all you had on was this shirt and underwear.

With his other hand, he removes your bonnet and threads his hands in your curls, getting tangled easily while he lightly scraped your scalp, right at the crown. Right where you liked it. You let out a soft moan that was met with a slight throb of Sero’s cock. “You’re fucking perfect, Princesa. Your hair and skin feel so perfect. So perfect for Papi”. He bites down on your collar bone, receiving a sharp yelp in surprise and a tug at his hair. “ohhh hermosa you feel so good,” he groans, his Spanish beginning to flow as you both get even more turned on. “All I need is you, y/n,” he says. Carefully, he takes his hand out of your kinks and places one on your hip, rubbing small circles with his nails. He stops for a moment in this position. He murmurs, almost to himself, “You’re all I need, mi cielito. After all the bullshit I put you through, I don’t deserve you,” he starts to choke a bit on his words at the end, and you sense the tears coming. You love Sero, and in no way did he not deserve you. He needed to know that. Pulling his lips away from you, which are now swollen, you stare into his eyes and tell him “I love you, and only you Sero. I don’t want or need anyone else”. A quick tear escapes from his eye and it slides right into the crook of your arm. You wipe it away with the palm of your hand, keeping it pressed on his cheek. “I mean it, Sero”. A slow, lopsided smile presents itself on his face. “That was pretty cheesy y/n. I never pegged you for the sentimental type”. You mirror his smile, your heart soars at the inkling of normalcy between you two. “Oh fuck off,” you say playfully pushing his head away. “We both know that I’m a huge romantic. Besides,” dropping your voice and gently pressing your lips against his ear, “no one else could get me this wet in a few minutes. Sero giggled at you, yes giggled, and shook his head.

“Horny ass. Let me have this damn opportunity to be lovey-dovey” Sero’s fake agitation is so forced you couldn’t help but outrightly laugh. After the moment passes though, you suddenly become serious. “Are you sure about this Sero?”

“I’m always sure when it comes to you hermosa”

This time, he places a slow, deep kiss to your mouth, swiping a hot tongue along your bottom lip, asking for permission to enter. As usual, you give it to him without a second thought.

Sex with Sero is always passionate, but today felt extremely intense. You’d be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t turn you on. Plus, there was so much smoke in the apartment that you had to be getting a second hand high right now.

Sitting up and dragging you with him, covers sliding to the floor, he positions you two at the edge of the couch, your back facing a blaring tv that neither of you bother to turn off as you straddle him. One swift tug has your shirt off, revealing your pebbled nipples and a lacey red underwear you don’t even remember putting on.

A low whistle leaves Sero’s lips. “You couldn’t possibly have mistaken my phone call for a booty call, could you? ‘Cause this is sexy as fuck mami”

Wasting no more time, he wraps his mouth around one nipple, flicking the dexterous muscle back and forth. The other nipple pinched between his fingers while he pulls and squeezes harshly, the pain meshing deliciously with the pleasure. With his free hand, he wraps his lanky fingers around the back of your neck, encircling almost completely around your throat. Yanking your head back with just the right amount of force, you can’t help the loud, high pitched moan that leaves you. Your hips spasm along his thigh, leaving a visible line of slit on his pants. Sero hums against your skin, tightening his grip on you, “you like that, don’t you? Grinding your cunt on my thigh while my hands choke your pretty little neck”

You were going to respond, but his teeth bite down on your breast, the other one met by a thumb flicking across the bud quickly. Your hips buck against his leg, the pressure causing a flood of incoherent sounds. You’re a mess of moans, white pulsing at the edges of your vision, heat rocking through your entire body. And just when you think the pain starts to be too much, he presses his knee right against your clit, making you see stars. “Sero!!” Your screams and gasps are so noisy that you know the neighbors are sure of who’s making you feel this good. His mouth rips from your nipple with a pop, but instantly latches onto your lips.

He uses both of his hands to palm your ass, grinding your hips faster and harder, your clit exploding with pleasure. Eyes squeezed shut, you slam your arms down on him, clawing at his shoulders. The feeling was so fast, so intense, too good, you were being sent over the edge. Your words were incomprehensible, you could hardly even speak to tell him you were close, so so close.

“Fuck! Sero I-”

“Shit y/n you look so fucking hot,” he grunts against your lips, “Please cum, cum for papi. You’re so pretty on top of me y/n. Cum all over my pants with that pretty pussy of yours baby”. One hand smacks down across your tits, making you jump so hard you almost fall off his leg. He never stops gripping and kneading at them, rougher than ever, before twisting your nipples again. You claw at his shoulders, practically sobbing from the pleasure, screaming “yes yes yes! So good! So...!”

Another slap makes your eyes roll to the back of your head, your orgasm building in your core. He squishes your tits together, and plunges both nipples in his mouth, biting and sucking fervently. At the same time he bounces his knee, you feel the burning knot coming undone. “Papi, I’m gonna cum, I’m coming, I’m-”

You couldn’t say anymore, as a gush of hot liquid squirted all over his leg. Sero hums with your tits still in his mouth, the tiny vibrations sending bolts of electricity down your spine. You gradually came back down from your high (and not the weed high), Sero still rocking you slowly against his pant leg. When you come back to reality, your head falls forward, instantly tired and tense from that world-changing orgasm. After opening your eyes, you spot a wet circle right at the center of Sero’s legs. “Sero, did you just cum?”

He glances down, and his eyes widened when he also sees the sticky wetness seeping through. He looks back up at you, blessing you with his wide, toothy smile. “I guess I did, huh?”

Bitch is high as hell. You chuckle slightly before you hear a nearly inaudible squelch under you. Now you look between your own legs, and freeze at what you see.

Shit

“Did I… did I just?”

“Yeah,” Sero snorted, “You squirted on my thigh. I think it got on the couch too.”

Oh my god. You press your palms to your eyes immediately, totally embarrassed by what you did. Not to mention the fact that you were basically naked, while Sero was still fully clothed. How did this even happen? You’ve never squirted before. Did you have some sort of torture kink? Your tits hurt like hell right now. Turning your head away, you say “that’s so embarrassing”

“Embarrassing? Look at me” Sero takes you by the wrists and removes your hands from your face, but your eyes still look away. “Look at me baby,” he persists, squeezing your cheeks between his thumb and index with his lanky fingers, forcing your eyes on his. His blissed out eyes are still glossed over with an incredible lustful stare. “That was fucking hot, y/n. Can you do it again? Please?”

[daintylehnsherr]

I Just Wanted To Be Your Hero - MJ x Reader

Description: The reader hangs out with the gang, a while after they’ve come back from Europe, and the pain of seeing Mj with Peter still stings. Recommend ‘That’s Us’ by Anson Seabra while reading (it’s a very fitting song, so take the time to listen to the lyrics)

Words: 1437

Warnings: ANGSTY. SO ANGSTY. I wrote this after I watched FFH, when I was feeling sad which is all the time lol. I’m not proud of this at all but I’m still posting it so enjoy my sad, angsty, lesbian ramblings.

“I’m so happy for you two, I mean it,” your lips force themselves into a smile. Technically, you are telling the truth, you do mean it.

“It’s great, seeing you both so happy,” again, another truth. You are happy to see your friends happy, if you weren’t then you’d be a terrible friend.

“I’m really glad we can hang out as us, outside of school, I mean,” Peter stumbles, smiling at you and Ned. You both smile back, Ned is sincere and you’re- well… you’re struggling.

“It’s a real shame you didn’t come on the trip with us,” Ned mutters, walking next to you on the pavement. Peter and Mj quickly agree. You weakly smile, “Ahh yeah, I know. I definitely missed out,” you laugh slightly. You do so to hide the pain your friends are unknowingly inflicting. The trip to Europe has been all the trio have talked about, making you feel alienated and unwanted.

It would be ‘Venice this’ or ‘London that’. Ned said London was where Mj and Peter finally confessed to each other, apparently they romantically kissed on London Bridge. You remember so clearly where you were when Ned told you this, how the pain in your chest almost made you collapse.

You were walking down the street, swerving quickly between the crowds. Queens was always a lively, busy place. Your footsteps head towards the park- the sun was shining and you decided that some sunshine would be good for you. Your headphones blasted a new artist, one Mj recommended to you, actually. You remember that you had just approached the large black gates of the park when your music abruptly cut out. The white bluetooth headphones spoke the words- “Incoming call- Ned”. You fished your phone out of your back pocket and pressed ‘accept’.

“Hey Ned,” you chimed, placing one foot in-front of the other, making your way down the gravel path.

“Hey (Y/N)! Did you miss me?”

“Oh yeah, like crazy,” you roll your eyes and reply in a sarcastic tone.

“On a real note, I’m glad you’re home and safe,”

You can hear Ned’s smile in his reply, “Me too,”

There’s a pause between you two, before Ned starts again.

“We’d always come back safe, Peter is with us,”

While fling your bag around and start to undo it, you reply to Ned, speaking to the microphone in your headphones.

“Of course. Peter is our hero after all,”

“You’ve got that right,” Ned agrees, smiling once again. You lay a blanket onto the cool grass, softly lying down.

“Is there something you wanted to tell me?” You ask, since Ned was the one who called you.

“Oh yeah! Its big news though, (Y/N), I hope you’re sat down,”

You laugh, “I’m lying down Ned, so hit me,” and Ned did just that.

His dreaded words spilled out so effortlessly, as if they meant nothing.

“Peter and Mj are finally going out!”

Your smiled dropped instantly from your face. Your chest sank. It felt as if you were drowning in the sea, you felt salt water filter into your lungs and drag you down to the bottom of the ocean.

“Oh?” Is all you could manage, it came out fragmented, broken.

“Isn’t it great? Peter’s liked her for so long!”

Tears stung in your eyes. They began to fall swiftly down your flushed face.

“(Y/N)?”

You placed a hand over your mouth, attempting to silence the small groans and whimpers. You tried to gather yourself so you could answer Ned, but in doing so your body began to shake violently.

“(Y/N)?” Ned repeated, a hint of worry in his voice.

“…Yes?” You managed.

“You okay?”

You shook your head aggressively. Ned couldn’t see you do this, but that was the point. You wanted to let Ned know, anyone know, how it made you feel. But you just couldn’t bring yourself to make the final jump.

“Perfectly,” you even smiled, as if Ned was watching you. Your face was wet, disheveled, and yet you held a beaming smile.

“I’m so happy for them,”

“Yeah, me too,” Ned concluded. With that, Ned hung up the phone. He left you, lonely and distraught.

The music that played only moments before filled your headphones and the soft melodies scratched against your ears. You looked down at your hands, the skin on the sides of your nails peeled and bloodied. Every sensation you felt was worsened by the seemingly pleasant scene around you. The sun beamed down against the back of your neck, and casted shadows of the leaves behind you. You heard them rustle behind you, as the wind danced through the branches. You paused your music in hopes to drown yourself in the music of nature, not Mj- but it didn’t work.

That pain, the empty heavy chest, is present in your body as you walk alongside Ned. Peter and Mj are in front, and you watch as Mj turns towards Peter and laughs. You try not to notice their intertwined hands, because every time you notice them you feel nauseous.

“I think the funniest thing about Europe was that you had a girlfriend for the whoooooole time, after preaching ‘The American Bachelor Lifestyle’ to me weeks before,” Peter says, causing the trio to chuckle. This makes you feel even worse. You must just be that undesirable, to the point that you can’t even have a week long summer fling.

“Well this is where my stop is,” Ned announces, abruptly stopping at the corner of the pavement.

“Ahh, me too,”

“You too?” Mj says sceptically.

“Yeah, Ned and I are playing WoW again,”

“You two and your Pc games,” Mj rolls her eyes and catches your gaze, giving you a playful wink. You feel as if you’re going to hurl onto the road, but you manage a sarcastic smile back.

“Bye boys,” Mj waves, watching as Peter and Ned cross the busy street.

She swiftly turns to you, flashing the smile you so helplessly fell for.

“You alright?” She asks.

“I’m great,” you reply, managing another smile. It’s getting very tiring, faking this many smiles.

“Good, I want you to be happy,” Mj says nonchalantly, looking past you to see if a car is coming. Once she concludes you’re both safe, she begins to stride across the road.

“You know that’s all I want, right?” She tries to confirm, looking back to you. Her soft, caring eyes meeting yours.

“Yeah, of course,” you answer back, looking down at the grey slabs of pavement under your feet. You can’t bare to look at her, it hurts too much. Her voice, too, feels like nails against your skin. Her voice once comforted you.

“Mj? You there?”

“I’m right here, (Y/N),”

Your breath came out shaky as your chest moved in and out violently. Mj’s voice on the other end of the call began to whisper sweet nothings. ‘I’m here’ ‘Just breathe, (Y/N)’ ‘You’re safe’.

During midterms, your mental state harshly deteriorated, and Mj became a crutch for you. She was the one at 3am telling you silly stories to calm you down. You remember her voice smothering you in kisses, a sleek, smooth warmth, as if she was really there; next to you. If she was, you would’ve wrapped your arms around her small shoulders, and breathe in her relaxing scent. Her voice did that to you, make you feel safe and loved.

“I’ll never leave you, I’m right here,”

“I gotta go, (Y/N), my bus is here,”

“…Right, yeah, of course,” you stumble out. Mj tries to catch your eyes, but they’re glued to the road behind her. She frowns.

“Y’know, I’m still here,” her hand grips your left shoulder. Her touch spreads throughout your body like a toxin, its thick and venomous and all you want to do is shrug her hand off. But you won’t, and you don’t.

“I know you are, Mj,”

She smiles, yet worry pours from her eyes.

“I’ve really gotta go…” she awkwardly notions to the bus behind her, still trying to read your face for any kind of emotion. Maybe she takes so long because she’s trying to find a positive one.

“Yeah, I get that. I’ll see you around,” you didn’t mean to, but your words come out cold- harsh. Your voice mirrors how your insides feel as you turn your back to her.

The girl who brought you so much happiness, so much faith; hope. She’s standing behind you, yet you don’t glance back. It’s good you don’t, otherwise you’d see how much you’ve hurt her.

How ironic. 

[freeamoebas]

Bill Cipher was awake, as usual, at 3AM.

He absolutely refused to sleep, the idea of entering the plane of consciousness he used to dominate humiliated and (even if he’d never admit it) terrified him. Occasionally, he’d doze off for a couple hours at most, but that was once every couple days. Plus, those precious couple hours of sleep were usually disturbed by nightmares regarding the axolotl, the second dimension, or worse.

Bill was wrapped up in a fluffy blanket Mabel had provided, rereading Flatland by Edwin Abbott. The story was strikingly similar to how the second dimension actually was, with all the rules about shapes, sides, women, etc. The book reminded him of Liam, his irregular brother, and how he read so many illegal books about the third dimension. Odd that a dimension like this would have books about something as dull as the second dimension.

Bill realized it was probably because humans craved the idea of suffering. Or at least the idea of apocalyptic eras. Funnily enough, they didn’t seem to get too big of a kick out of his Weirdmageddon.

The demon’s body froze up when he heard creaks from the staircase. His heart raced, worried it was Sixer coming back to scold him after their little… argument, which resulted in Bill gouging his own eye out after a complete nervous meltdown. Now he had to wear this dumb piece of gauze to cover the wound up.

He found himself pulling the blankets closer around him, as if it were a shield of some sort. He relaxed when it was just Mabel, going to the kitchen to get some water. “Hi Bill,” she said, her voice thick with sleep. “Shouldn’t you be-” She was cut off by a yawn. “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

“Can’t.” Bill held the book close to his chest and warily eyed the girl.

“Why not?”

“Oh, I dunno, Shooting Star, maybe because sleeping wastes ONE THIRD OF YOUR PUNY EXISTENCE, WHICH ISN’T SAYING MUCH CONSIDERING YOU MEAT SACKS LIVE, WHAT, EIGHT OR NINE DECADES BEFORE KICKING THE BUCKET?” Bill’s shrill voice came out louder than anticipated. He hoped the Stan twins wouldn’t wake, he was way too tired to deal with them at that very moment. Mabel simply blinked at the string of words that tumbled out of the demon’s mouth.

“...Does Mr. Grumpypants need someone to stay up with him?”

Bill huffed at that, but made no move to stop her as the teen sat next to him on the couch. She peered over at the book he had still clutched against his chest.

“Yanno, I always see you reading that book. I tried reading it once! It was really boring,” Mabel said, bluntly. She paused for dramatic effect, but noticed the odd, almost irritated look on Bill’s face, and quickly continued. “Why do you keep reading that book over ‘n over again, anyways? I could show you better ones, if you want!”

Bill’s odd expression melted away into something tired and… sad? No way, Bill Cipher’s only emotions were irritating, angry and crazy laughing. Those were totally emotions, at least in Mabel’s mind.

“It makes me feel… nostalgic, I guess,” Bill finally murmured.

“Oh.” Mabel didn’t really know what else to say. How does a dumb confusing book make someone nostalgic? Maybe Bill’s mother- if he even had one- used to read it to him when he was little. That would make a lot of sense, actually. Weirdo.

They sat in silence for a few more moments before Mabel turned to him. “Want me to show you me and Dip Dop’s cool hiding place?” Her mouth stretched into a mischievous grin. She knew Bill had the tendency to hide in odd little spaces. She’d found him in closets, under tables, but usually he’d bundle himself up and hide under the blankets the Pines provided for him. “Blanket town” Mabel had affectionately nicknamed his most common hiding spot.

Bill glared suspiciously at Mabel, clearly not trusting her judgement of what she considered cool. Finally, he shrugged and got up, still keeping the fluffy blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “I literally have NOTHING better to do,” the demon sighed, and followed his ally to a not so trustworthy looking ladder.

The climb to the top was… rigorous, to say the least. Bill nearly fell off the ladder several times, not knowing completely how to put one foot above the other, and occasionally forgetting he had to hold onto the railing. When they finally managed to climb out of the chimney, they sat on the floor of the little flat above the gift shop.

Bill was panting as if he had run a marathon and Mabel was beaming, congratulating him on how well he did.

“Yeah yeah, you don’t gotta BABY ME, yanno.” Bill waved her off with his gloved hand, doing his best to sound irritated. He’d never admit it, but he actually liked Mabel’s pity praises. It definitely beat Sixer’s life lessons about how everything bad that has happened to the Pines family during the past 45 years was Bill’s fault.

Mabel giggled at Bill’s dull attempt at sounding mad and turned her attention up at the starry sky. One thing she adored about Gravity Falls was that there was no more city haze to cover her view of the stars. She could look up, and boom. Thousands upon millions of pretty twinkly dots in the sky, waiting to be stared at.

Mabel turned to Bill. “Do you have any alien friends?” she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. Bill frowned at her, not entirely sure what Shooting Star was implying.

“Sure, kid.”

Mabel gestured for Bill to continue. “C’monnn, didn’t you liberate like… a bazillion dimensions? Tell me about a good one.”

Bill shrugged. “Shooting Star, you gotta remember that what I consider good and what you consider good are LITERAL POLAR OPPOSITES.”

“Okay,” Mabel said slowly. “Tell me about a good dimension… In my standards.”

Bill gave Mabel an exasperated look. He was way too tired to try to remember some puny dimension he had liberated eons ago, especially with his memory failing and all, but at the same time he was way too tired to deal with Shooting Star haggling for a happy story.

“FIIINE,” Bill snapped. He then rested his chin in his hand, trying to think of the best story that would shut Shooting Star up. A small grin appeared on his face and he finger gunned in her direction.

“Did Fordsy ever tell you about GOOD OLE’ DIMENSION 1610?”

And then he continued with an elaborate story about a world where the world hunger issue was solved, the majority of countries allianced with each other under a common socialist society, Bernie Sanders became president, superheroes were real, and much much more. He most of all emphasized how he had influenced the majority of these fortunate series of events, since he wanted at least one good dimension to come out of the countless dimensions he had ruled in the past.

Mabel listened the entire time with round, amazed eyes. Everytime Bill would add a new detail, she would always dramatically react, encouraging Bill to continue.

The story went on for a couple hours at least, Bill staying animated as ever the entire time. When he was finished, the sky was beginning to lighten.

The demon crossed his arms, grinning. One thing that definitely puts him in a good mood was talking about himself.

“So?”

“So…” Mabel’s gaze darkened, giving Bill an extremely serious look, making him worry he said something wrong. “That was… SO FREAKING COOL! And imagine having a superhero boyfriend… Spider-Man… if you’re out there… Why couldn’t you have done that instead of ruining our town?” The girl excitedly rambled.

After a good five minutes of talking, Mabel began to settle down, realizing just how late- or early- it was, and how little sleep she had gotten. She was going to need a lot of Mabel juice today if her and Dipper were going adventuring.

Bill laughed as Shooting Star analyzed his story, with that classic unhinged laugh that always gave her chills no matter how often she heard it. She was a little too tired at the moment to care about just how creepy Bill’s laugh was.

“I just so happen to know a g-” Bill was cut off when Mabel rested her head on his shoulder. His entire body stiffened.

For a split second Bill was tempted to shove the girl straight off the roof, but knew better. Ford would blast his head off without a moment of hesitation. So instead, the demon forced himself to relax and take a few breaths.

He hated being touched, but he realized the only times he’s ever been touched in this new body was when someone was punching him in the nose or yanking his collar so hard he choked. Mabel’s head against his shoulder was… comforting, in a way.

Mabel felt Bill stiffen. She braced herself to have his shoulder yanked away with a snarky comment following. It never came, though, and she let out a small breath of relief.

Mabel talks to Bill the most out of everyone in the Pines family, since she was the most sympathetic. Although, she was very aware to keep a distance, not wanting to be manipulated as Ford had been. Nonetheless, she was glad their friendship had reached a peak from annoying ex-demon living with her family to someone who tells her stories until she falls asleep.

“You know… you’re not that bad of a dude,” Mabel mumbled before her eyelids drooped and she dozed off.

Bill blinked at that final comment, totally taken by surprise. He hadn’t heard someone say that about him in… years. The demon’s heart swelled just a tiny bit, although he wasn’t quite sure what this emotion was called. In the future, he will discover this emotion is called friendship, something the All Seeing Eye hasn’t truly experienced in eons.

[deadcactuswalking]

BLAST TO THE PAST: A Critical Look at the ‘It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown’ Soundtrack Album (feat. MKtheInstrumentalist)

Okay so my friend Jasbre told me to review this album and I’m not sure if he thought I had any experience with freaking Charlie Brown specials or anything but he would be sadly mistaken if so because, no, I do not – I have never watched one of these Charlie Brown films except the most recent CGI film, I recall it was named The Peanuts Movie or something but it was a decent film from what I remember; I saw it a few years ago and never bothered to watch it again so I must not have been really all that interested in it or have much reason to rewatch. I probably shouldn’t be reviewing this, I don’t have any experience with this Charlie Brown stuff, man... but I do know someone who does. Okay, hold on, let me get MK on this.

Basically, the album’s just a really terrible edited-down s**tshow taken from the dubbing track of the special, seeing as they don’t have the original masters. – MKtheInstrumentalist

“Edited down” may just be an understatement. Happy Halloween, everyone, and welcome to BLAST TO THE PAST!

It’s not a great soundtrack, Charlie Brown!

So today I will be talking about the soundtrack released only this year to the 1966 television special, It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, which is the third of God knows how many half-hour television films they made based off of the Peanuts comics which were created by Charles M. Schulz, with some rude interruptions from MK every now and then.

Excuse me, I’m rude? Didn’t you DM me yelling about Soulja Boy’s Discord server at 3am?

It was an important issue, Max! Geez. Anyway, this particular special was also written by Shulz and directed by Bill Melendez, who actually voiced Snoopy and Woodstock, who from what I can gather, are the dog and the bird that are best friends. The score for the special was composed by the late Vince Guaraldi, who recorded it with his sextet only 10 years before his death. On October 12th this year, the soundtrack was released, and let’s just say some people weren’t exactly all too happy with the result. When MK said it was “edited down”, that’s because it’s a short 20 minutes (only few minutes less than the special, mind you) and very compressed; it’s not exactly all too noticeable but it doesn’t sound as great as it easily could have if they had the masters. I understand that they wouldn’t have the audience to release it when they did have them back in the 1960s and 1970s, but I don’t think much effort was put into this cheap, quick and easy release, which is actually pretty sad because I know a lot of people would want more material, better quality, and all that good stuff, since it’s been decades since and I’m sure you can gather some sort of bonus track or demo, right? I mean the pop music industry doesn’t care about graverobbing, does the animation industry actually have a stick up its—

Stop rambling, there’s an album you need to talk about.

MK, aren’t you supposed to be talking to your Thomas the Tank Engine fanclub? Sorry about that. We might as well look at some opinions from fans on the Internet here. Self-proclaimed “DVD buff” on Amazon.com says the length makes for a lousy LP, and, yes, I agree completely here. He considered adding the Thanksgiving special’s background music to make a more full-length record, and yeah that would have been a better idea, or even add the Christmas soundtrack for extra worldwide appeal, and make a Charlie Brown Holidays album, that would have been nice. As it is, with only barely 20 minutes of music, an introduction from Lee Mendelson, and some stories in the liner notes, it isn’t worth the price of a full-length and is a big waste of money, especially considering that there are lot of songs in the tracklist here that are repeated. There are 17 tracks here, and eight minutes of it is stuff we’ve heard before earlier on in the album. That’s more than a third spent on reprises of compositions, and I know they’d want all the music from the special but when I pay full price for this I expect it to double up as both a good compilation of background music from a respected composer and a listenable album in its own right that doesn’t feel like it’s retreading itself. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to listen to seven non-consecutive minutes of “The Great Pumpkin Waltz” over only six tracks, especially since the first time we heard it, it was three minutes – a perfectly decent length, surely – so we don’t need to hear an extra four, right? Instead of loading it up with reprises how about some extra content, though? How about some extra money, time and effort spent on actually getting the damn masters and making it such a smoother listen?

Oh, who cares about that? How about they remove that awful pseudo-stereo effect that makes everything sound muddy as all hell? As a professional musician—

Oh, please!

Let me talk or I play the lossless audio of “The Great Pumpkin Waltz” on loop.

Okay, now, Max, you might as well shoot me.

Now, going back to what I was saying – as the owner of the largest collection of Secret Show merch, it’s safe to say I’m nerdy enough to be in the main demographic for this release, so you can’t imagine my disappointment when I actually got to listening to this album. Hence, what I have here is a Blu-Ray rip of the dubbing track which is entirely unedited excluding a few minor tweaks to the EQ. It’s not perfect because it also has some of that crappy pseudo-stereo effect, and it may sound a little weird, but otherwise it’s much better, and is not nearly as bad as what they did to the album.

And where can we listen to that version, MK?

Well, there should be a MEGA link for you to listen and download at the end of this review.

Oh, this is the end of the review. If anything, you’re just wasting my time and padding out the length of this review by holding this up and not just posting the link.

Well, with that attitude, maybe you don’t deserve the high-quality audio.

Max, it’s a Charlie Brown soundtrack album. Just give us the Goddamn high-quality pumpkin waltz!

What’s the magic word?

I’ll tell you a couple magic words in a minute.

Well, yeah, that’s what I asked.

That’s not what I meant, and I know it. Do you want me to lodge my fist through this laptop screen and get the album myself?

How in the hell are you gonna—

https://mega.nz/#!R6xCDaAR!2C6G9Ak9EyOEiMOs_Vn8GQxCRA0Ua_oKTDgYBfO-xyw

Oh.

If you’re disappointed in this album like we are, just click the link above and I imagine you’ll have some of your problems fixed. Thank you for reading, and we’ll see you next time! Except this moron won’t, because he’s never going to be on this show again.

Well, that was uncalled for.

Oh, go eat a Secret Thing, Max. Bye, everyone!