#i can be guydykes

[lumalalu]

its always confusing to me when im out with ren and ppl greet us both as ladies like i know i look like a cis alt girl to most people but ren is just some guy for the most part so its like ??? what r u reading on him that u can tell he doesnt have a penis ???? but my running theory is that when i dress up really cute and transtrender-coded ppl look at me and theyre like "oh thats definitely a lesbian. so that other thing cant possibly be its boyfriend. this is lesbians im looking at."

[genderqueerdykes]

you can tell who's actually a part of the lesbian and dyke community and who sits on the sidelines and tries to define these entire identities based off of their own speculation as an outsider. i'm not saying these people aren't lesbians- but when you refuse to actually interact with the broader dyke community outside of your tiny insulated echo-chamber, you are actively refusing to acknowledge how the lesbian community actually functions and behaves

people who think that lesbianism is all about femmes and women are people who refuse to immerse themselves in real lesbian and dyke spaces. masculinity has ALWAYS been a part of lesbianism. there is NO point in queer history where masculinity HASN'T been a big part of the dyke experience. boydykes, studs, bois, bulldykes, male lesbians, ftm lesbians, daddy dykes, testo butches, genderfluid dykes, multigender dykes, masculine agender lesbians, transmasc dykes... these people have ALWAYS been in the lesbian community.

if you believe that lesbianism is strictly about femmes and butches who water down their butchness to mean "androgynous/SLIGHTLY masc woman" for the "safety" of femmes, you have no clue what the lesbian community is actually like and i encourage you to explore the community as a whole, because if you can't handle butches, testo dykes, transmasc lesbians, male lesbians, lesboys, guydykes, studs, bois, bulldykes or any other type of masculine lesbian, you don't belong.

interact with real dykes and lesbians and you'll see masculinity is a permanent, inseparable part of the dyke community. you can't only accept the lesbians you personally like. you also have to accept the ones with identities you don't understand or agree with. you don't have to date butches and male lesbians if you don't want to. you have the right to be attracted to who you're attracted to. but the second you try to exclude these people based off of your own personal tastes, you are committing a grave misdeed to this community by actively participating in the silencing and alienation of masc and male dykes.

you drank the radfem kool aid if you genuinely believe this. this belief stems from the "lesbian separatism movement" in the American 1980s which specifically started to remove butches and transmasc lesbians from the community. if you seriously believe lesbianism is about "EWW NO MEN MEN DNI", hiding from men, hating men, forming "women and non binary spaces only", excluding men and mascs, shaming butches who want top surgery and testosterone, you are not a lesbian: you are a terf, and a radfem. your beliefs don't line up with the real lesbian and dyke communities. you have been brainwashed. this is your sign to wake up.

we aren't standing for this bullshit anymore. we've always been here and your "lesbian means non-men loving non-men" definition of lesbianism is the least historically accurate definition of these terms that you could ever possibly ascribe to them. that definition is factually incorrect and will never be the proper definition. stop defining lesbianism by who we exclude and start defining it by the vast and varied members of our community that we include. our lives depend on it. i don't care if you're not personally attracted to lesboys and testo butches- we belong. it's not about who you're personally attracted to, it's about who feels sapphic, who feels like a lesbian, who feels like a dyke, no matter how they identify. you are not the protagonist of the lesbian community. let go and learn to accept.

[skrunksthatwunk]

you go to a lesbian blog and find it says women only!! no men allowed!!! and go oh! excuse me, um, what about other lesbians? plenty of lesbians are genderqueer... and they go well, okay, go fuck yourself tim chop off your sweaty dick and stop calling yourself a lesbian. you do not have a dick, actually. you think about that fact often, even though it does you no good. you do not tell this person that.

you go to another lesbian blog and it says women only and you try again, and this time they change it to wlw + nblw only (non-men who love non-men :D). and you'll say hey i appreciate that but gender's not really that cut and dry for a lot of people. someone could be both a man and nonbinary, for instance. i just worry that you're looking at nonbinary as a generic third gender, or an extension of womanhood. i mean yeah you include nblw in your tags but all your posts are about pussy-havers exclusively. what's with that? and they say go fuck yourself you pervy man pretending to be a lesbian. you tried to sneak in but i won't let you.

so you go to a lesbian blog with a dozen or so posts about queer people needing to be more weird about it and you sigh in relief. but you still see the men dni. that's odd. hoping for the best, you say hey! i know you mean well but please maybe don't put men dni at the end of the lovely posts on your lesbian blog bc some lesbians are men. and they'll be like ok!! well you're allowed ;) and you say no that's not. no. some men are lesbians not just me. you think about your own dicklessness and wonder if that's why you were given entry. and you add that even if male lesbians are allowed, there's no indication of that. how would anyone know without asking? and they're like ohh gotcha gotcha well men dni + this is for sapphics only!! and you'll be like ok well that treats the concepts of men and sapphics as mutually exclusive identities and i just told you that's not true and you agreed with me so.. i don't think that solves our problem. and they're like. ok. fine. men dni but genderfluid and multigender people are allowed! and you're like no see that's. that's still the same thing.. you're saying the same thing just with different words. if you don't want men to interact but you're fine with multigender/genderfluid/etc ppl interacting then you either don't see them as Real Men (because they don't reach a standard of Full Manhood) or Complete Men (because they're only Part-Time Men), both of which suggest that they are, in some way, not men or less-than men, which is invalidating and defeats the point of the exception in the first place (accommodation) OR that you don't really mean the dni which is confusing and inconsistent and makes guydykes feel weird and uncomfortable and excluded from the lesbian space you're trying to cultivate. and they're like um. ok. so. cishet men dni? and you're like well i think that makes more sense, but what if someone identifies as both a cishet man and a sapphic? again, if we're trying to accommodate the genderfucky populace then that has to be a possibility that is considered. and they say god you people are never happy. what do you want me to do? what am i supposed to say to keep the right men out? and you pause. you empathize with the need for a space free from dudes trying to fuck you straight and feminine. dudes who watch lesbian porn and joke about what they'd do if they were allowed into girls locker rooms. who look at you like a piece of meat, and like someone who looks at women like pieces of meat in the same way he does. you get it. you know. you want a space where you can be sapphic, too. that's why you came to these blogs in the first place. you brace yourself and you say well i don't know that there are "right men" to keep out. i don't know that there's any single label that would accomplish whatever it is you're trying to accomplish. you could go for "sapphics only" or "queers only" and i think that might be the closest thing to what you want, but it's never going to be perfect. creating any exclusive space is going to shut out people you didn't account for, and the broader the label, the more people will be shut out that you didn't want to shut out. and what about people who don't know if they're allowed? what of questioning transbians, where are they supposed to go? and, frankly, i think i might rather my dykey posts get read and appreciated by a gay guy who sees me as a man than a woman who only sees me as a sacred womb, pure from male perversions or violence or whatever. i think community might just be more complex than a dni can handle. and they look at you and say i don't want to not have a dni. i think you're too permissive. you can't just "what about" or microlabel your way into everything. go fuck yourself, i bet you're not even a lesbian anyway. go find a real problem to get mad about.

you go to a lesbian blog. you ignore the men dni because you know you probably don't even count to them. or maybe you do count and, out of respect for your manhood, they'd shun you accordingly. you try to feel okay about that. you scroll past dozens of posts about mediocre men and gagging at straight friends' boyfriends and how gross and undeserving men are of the beautiful women they couple up with and how all women should be gay so they can get treated right and and and and and. you finally find a post about curling into someone you love and feeling at peace and try to lose yourself in it. you know that feeling is what unites you, what makes you belong. you try to focus on it. you think about carding your hands through a butch's hair or lacing fingers with a femme and feeling warm and loved and more yourself than you ever have before. like this is who you're meant to be. you read about lesboys and butch boytoys and genderfucky dykes and big hairy deep-voiced wonderful women (like you want to be someday, like you wish you could make yourself) and you try to ignore the men dni underneath each and every post. and you daydream about meeting someone kind and earnest at a lesbian bar even though you don't think any such bars exist within three states of you and you can't drink and don't want to drink because you need to be in control of yourself at all times so you don't fuck up like you're always about to and here in the nonexistent lesbian bar you feel wanted and safe and in good company. you picture your ideal, happiest self. it is a mistake. ideal-you has a goatee. not the mascara one you smear on and call drag even though you know it's not drag, not really, the beard you call drag because you think everyone would look at you sadly if you told them it was just to pretend you had something out of your reach. a beard that's soft and that you grew and that cannot be smudged away if you get too comfortable with it. the dream shatters. your people pull away from you, their scoffs mixing with the mind-numbing gay girl bedroom pop you learned to settle for just to have something that almost resembled you, they all pull away and turn their backs and do not look at you. you're too close to being a man now, even though you're the same amount of man as before. and they know you're not supposed to interact with men, not as you would with dykes, at least. and it sours. it's all your imagination, all in your head, but it sours.

you sigh. you think about how small you are. how short, how narrow, how feeble. how your voice pitches up when you talk to strangers because it's easier to speak quietly when it carries more, and because you're nervous. because it's a chore to talk, like everything is. you think about testosterone. you think about how your family would look at you, the questions they would ask, your answers they would only pretend to accept. the uncomfortable glances and whispered questions they'd try to hide from you. you think about how small you are, and how small you will always be. how you don't know of a way to fix it, but even if there was one, no one would want you anymore. you'd be the only one thinking it made you a cooler dyke. you think about how you don't even want a T-voice all the time, how you'll never be able to switch it at will, because you don't know how and can't bring yourself to figure it out. you think about how your throat closes around every hint of your own attraction. how wanting is perverse, how wanting is invasive, how wanting is embarrassing and too vulnerable so it must stay anonymous, as an online witness, and how you can barely manage to form or maintain friendships because your brain makes you pull away, always spinning out and struggling to recover from the simplest of interactions. how they'll all leave you and you won't chase after them at all and how that will hurt them. how stuck you get. how it looks like nothing's holding you back, how that frustrates everyone who thought you were going to be more than you were. the people you love who understand except when it comes to being ghosted, being shut out. how you don't want to hurt them. how you can't tell them that because you're stuck. how you turn to stone when touched, how you never reach out, how you lose your speech and can't look at people, how your autism is fun and sexy until it becomes real and you never see them anymore, how much you longed for someone who knew everything without you having to explain, and who loved you anyway. how unreasonable you know that is to expect of anyone. you think about that not-even-real lesbian bar. you think about how you still can't drive. how you can't leave your home on your own, without dragging somebody into helping you. how you can't leave your body. how you can't leave your manhood behind.

you think about finding another lesbian blog and ignoring everything. about skimming it for the parts you can juice some meaning from. the parts men ignore and don't understand, and how typical of you it is to do so. or the parts where you're not welcome and you should accept that, because it's for lesbians only. how you are a lesbian anyway. how you're meant to choose lesbian or man, how each is a betrayal of some kind to yourself or your people, your family, your lovely strangers, your rare friendly acquaintances. about the parts that tell you you're not wanted, that you're ugly and lazy and gross and insert yourself everywhere without even asking. about the parts that tell you you are hated, and how lesbians are above it all by rejecting men. how lesbians are each blessed miracles. about the parts that say you should be ashamed of being whatever twisted confused freak you are, of everything, of looking and wanting or not looking or not wanting, of picking and choosing instead of taking it all in with a smile. after all, shouldn't you take it? or is your ego too fragile, as men's so often are? aren't you tired? good. we're not here for your consumption. and we sure as hell don't want your company or "community" or whatever. didn't you read the sign? no boys allowed. and if you want to come in you have to make up your mind. as if you haven't told them the only answer you have. you're both. you're both.

you know you broke the rule by interacting.

but it gets lonely sometimes. you wonder if they know.

[bisexualgenderfemme]

Call me Femme or Fruit

NSFW ACCT

MDNI 🔞 U WILL B BLOCKED

🍓 dude+ it/its/that thing

☣️ alterbeing creature

☽☾ High Femme bisexualgender man

[amantisgender vastsatyretflux]

I use both "same & different gender" & "regardless of gender" definitions of bi!

(mlmlwlw / sapphillesynian)

polyam (+ married 2 my beautiful trans bi lesbian futch wife @imfiggarette)

iso: stone top loml 2nd soulmate

✨ comics/comic shows & movies, bisexual history, butchfemme, pride flags, sitcoms, mental health, nudes, horny posting & personal posts

non censored slur use & NSFT be upon ye here

ask box OPEN

open to enemies (if ur funny,) mutuals, friends, flirts, paramours, etc.

(I do not use the term transmisandry as Misandry is not a real or useful axis of oppression. I do believe there's a specific kind of oppression against, tho not exclusive to, transmasculine people on the basis of being trans in a masculinizing direction & I believe it is often a Trojan horse for transmisogyny, one is easy to lead into the other. for this reason I use the phrase 'anti-transmasculinity' as coined by trans feminist theorists/academics to discuss the ways our oppressions are different as well as build on each other.)

i block liberally & often 4 anything from slightly annoying 2 evil bigot. dont think ab it 2 hard.

AO3

Fruit's Art

A collection of my tags beneath this cut

as well as terms I use!

different colored hearts take you to different color tags

#fruitpost - original posts

#fruitnsft - original horny posts & nudes

#fruittag - tag rambles

#fruitorig - my art

#fruitface - selfies

#fruitvent - vent posts

#fruitlore - posts about me & my history

#askd/ansd - responses to asks

achillean, alien, alterbeing, anomalous, BDSM, babe, baby girl, bear lover, bent, bidyke, bimbo, bisexual, bisexualgender, bitch, bottom, boydyke, boygirl, bunny, butch-fucking, butch-loving, canine, creature, cunt, dessert lime, dude, dyke, dykefag, eyeliner fag, exhibitionist, fagdyke, faggot, fairy, femme, femme-fucking, femme-loving, flamer, flirty, fluffer, freak, fujoshi, furry, gay, gender deviant, gender euphoric, gender gifted, genderbent, genderfuck, genetically challenged king, girl, girl lover, girlboy, girly-man, guydyke, high femme, hypersexual, invert, jackalope, kinky, lacy, Mr., MSM, male, man, man-loving, mister, mixed-gendered, mlm, mlw, muff mucher, multigender, nelly, otherkin, pervert, poltergeist, polyamorous, poufbunny, praise slut, prettyboy, princess, radical fairy, same gender loving, sapphic, sapphillean, sex positive, shape shifter, sir, slut, switch, tdick, tranny, transdyke, transfag, trans man, transsexual, transspecies, transvestite, uranodioning, vastgender, voyeuristic, woman-loving, wlw, xenogender

I am NOT a woman, but I am everything around it, circling the drain, as many femmes are.

I am multigender/nonbinary. I am A Femme but I am also a man & the two cannot b separated. i try not to interact w/ 'men dni' blogs unless they specifically say they're open to multigender ppl. I do interact w/ sapphic posts as a man as well as a femme & a girl. I do not like the men vs non-men dichotomy, as I do not fit this binary, or the idea that my manhood is more important than my femmehood. if any of that will bother u we're not for each other & that's fine!

please be sensible about labels u use for me, just bc u follow or we're moots doesn't mean u can b a dick & use them as insults. u will b blocked.

[somecunt]

theyfab and theymab are both repulsive terms.

I do feel like this posts misses when it doesn’t acknowledge nonbinary people amab as well.

nonbinary amab are erased from depictions of nonbinary identity. nonbinary people as a group continues to be cast directly back into the binary without a second thought. nonbinary people as a whole aren’t necessarily feminine or masculine in gender identity.

To me the queer community fails with nonbinary people as nonbinary terms are time and time again met with resistance.

The terms transmasculine and transfeminine are highly flawed in that they’re restricted to gender assigned at birth, while the entire point of their existence is to be inclusive of nonbinary people, they also dominate over people presentation making it seem that someone who fem presenting is inherently fem-gendered and vise versa(transfem/transmasc can relate to presentation,transition, or gender id). I think transfem/transmasc aren’t terrible terms,and think many people can relate to them and maybe they don’t need to necessarily change, but there does need to be more vocabulary for the people that would like avoid the issues they have, but with that there has to be a change in how nonbinary people are perceived as a whole. Transneutral is a term that feels very abandoned and from what I see it’s never really in any conversations about nonbinary people.

“transfems love their transmascs” “transmasc goals, transfem goals” there’s only ever room for upholding the binary.

You hate when nonbinary people are lesbians, and amab, you hate when nonbinary people use and create their own terms, you hate when nonbinary people are attracted to other nonbinary people.

you hate when nonbinary people are gnc in a direction that is associated with their agab.

You hate the way people some people will operate the world as nonbinary (but may not identify as nonbinary)

he/him lesbians, guydykes, girlfags, she/her gays, straight lesbians, male lesbians, lesboys

There’s this weird misogyny thing going on with nonbinary people afab, where they’re specifically put in a predicament to feel like they’re women.

you know how in trans propaganda trans men are made to look like confused girls, that’s what we do with nonbinary people afab.

you don’t like nonbinary people and you’re not prepared for them.

You guys do know that afab enbies being unwillingly grouped in with women is also transphobic, right?

[son-0f-venus]

James from team rocket is such a sapphic man you can't tell me I'm wrong he's so incredibly gender

[mangedog]

i think this is partially because of queer genderfuckery, partially being intersex, and partially having Identity Confusion Disorder (BPD & DID), but i feel like i have so many "opposing" identities...

like. im bisexual and asexual. im agender and gendered. im a gay trans man and a lesbian trans woman. im intersex and dyadic (this one is internalised intersexism - i am intersex). im butch and femme. im a girlfag and a guydyke...

of course the beauty of queer is that it encompasses all these labels. i can just be queer, and thats ok! and i can also explicitly be all these things, and thats ok too ♡

[cruelsister-moved2]

so some german magazine did an article abt a cis guy "coming out" as a "lesbian man" and its literally so offensive im sure it has to be a troll he's like well i drink sparkling wine now and like women with careers #lesbian. but ofc the only reaction to this is all like "wowww this is all trans women's fault" as always and even a lot of ppl referring to him as a "trans identified male" despite the fact he like explicitly identifies as a man.

but he literally said he found a community online of "lesbian men" and "guydykes" which erm pretty sure i know that community actually and it isnt trans women ? also although I didn't actually expect this to happen this is exactly what I said when ppl first started insisting "men can be lesbians" bc then u have to cosign this too and doing so is both extremely offensive and stupid and demonstrably stirs up transmisogyny. that old chestnut where supposedly inclusive queers would rather just give access to everyone than admit trans women actually count as women

[somecunt]

The way even nonbinary people have misinterpreted the meaning of nonbinary has always been extremely disappointing to me.

nonbinary isn't a third gender, it's not simply the spectrum of feminine to masculine or man to woman with the addition of agender and genderlessness. Nonbinary covers a multitude of endless queer labels and experiences. Nonbinary consumes every instance and mention of gender and gender dynamics.

I feel like the understanding of nonbinary has improved since I first heard about it and I'm a lot more comfortable with being categorized as such because of this.

I'm going to take it a step further and make everyone upset and pissed off. cis men can be lesbians. In my own views being a male lesbian/lesboy/guydyke, or female gay/turigirl/girlfag are non-binary expressions of identity.

Someone has a male gender identity but the way they're attracted to women is queer, maybe specifically lesbian same said for people that are of female gender, but have a queer attraction to men.

Seeing both "anti nonbinary lesbians dni" and "pro male lesbians/female gays dni" in the same Do Not Interact post sure is an experience.

It's giving: "Respect nonbinary people and how they want to identify! (unless they have multiple genders yikes yikes)"

I am just beyond done from the multigender hate. It's telling that so many people just view nonbinary as a "third gender".

People with one gender may reblog but don't clown on this post.

[genderqueerdykes]

i love you male lesbians! i love you lesboys, i love you guydykes, i love you butch men, i love you ftm lesbians, i love you gentleman dykes, i love you transmasc lesbians, i love you genderqueer lesbians, I love you nonbinary lesbians, i love you gender non conforming lesbians, i love you bigender lesbians, i love you genderfluid lesbians, i love you intersex lesbians, i love you two spirit lesbians, i love you lesbians who were men, i love you lesbian men!

i love the many ways one can be a lesbian, and the variety of identities that the community contains! be loud, be proud, be your lesbian self!

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Do you think wlw are allowed to say the f slur? I think we are but someone else I know says we arent.

Like... what are we talking about here? wlw self-identifying with that word? My stance is if someone relates to a term and identifies with it then that’s got to be for a reason and I don’t see why a wlw shouldn’t be allowed to call herself a fag. (EDIT: there’s literally girlfags and guydykes. those identities exist. people identify that way. so... end of discussion about wlw self-identifying with “fag”.)

But I guess you mean “are wlw allowed to say the word at all?” and again: of course they are because it’s not inherently malicious.

The real problem I have with all of these discussions though (and being asked those questions) is this idea that there is an authority somewhere that gets to decide which queer people are allowed to do/say what. This always boils down to policing of queer identities, queer language, queer behaviour. I’m not that authority and nobody else is either.

But my personal opinion is that everyone can say everything. No word is inherently bad. Because know what? Whether a word is “okay to say” or not depends a lot on the speakers intention and not only on historical context or dictionary definition of the word. For example: Just because someone is a gay man doesn’t mean he cannot use “fag” in a derogatory way. Internalised homophobia is a thing and just because you belong to a marginalised group doesn’t mean you cannot be a bitch towards that same group. And just because someone is sapphic (or even cis straight) doesn’t mean that saying the word “fag” is inherently meant in a negative way. Maybe the person you’re refering to as a fag has specifically said they like it. Maybe you’re making a stupid joke because being queer can be tough and we could all use some dark humour sometimes to cope. Maybe someone just asked your opinion on the usage of certain slurs and at some point in the past you have made the conscious decision to not censor those words because censoring words goes against some fundamental core values of yours so you write out “fag” instead of “f**” or “f slur” even though you’re a bisexual woman. (see what I did there?)

Some people will always be offended by certain words. Queerphobes are offended by every letter in LGBTQIA+. Some people are still/again vehemently against any reclamation of “queer”. Every word has the potential to be used in a derogatory way if the speaker has malicious intentions.

That doesn’t mean you should be careless about the use of some words, so please don’t take this the wrong way. You should be reasonably respectful towards others when they have expressed discomfort about a word (in this case I assume that those who have trauma connected to “fag” have taken necessary precautions that tumblr offers in order to filter the post out of their feed). But you shouldn’t censor yourself and you should stop treating queer discourse like there is some authority figure that’ll eventually cast their judgement and then everyone will have to follow their lead.

As much as some people (gatekeepers, exclusionists, radfems) like to hold up their DIY Sheriff stars there really isn’t a queer police and nobody has the right to tell you what words you are allowed to say or not. And nobody has a right to claim they know your intentions behind why you used a certain word better than you do.

Maddie

[pumpumdemsugah]

Personally i think part of the modern lgbTQ tangle comes from the phenomenon of "girlfags" and "guydykes". If you read about those you can see the parallels quite fast of where that people migrated. Also see the article links on the wiki article abt "queer heterosexuality"

I don't remember the post this relates to but I see where you're coming

It use to be such a massive thing years ago and now not so much

It sounds counterintuitive to the messages we want to put out there, especially because it can be used against us but some of these people are definitely 100% straight and the why when they talk about LGBT issues it feels less like a different view but are they even gay ???

[8a8y]

hello hope you're day is going well! I don't wanna bother u for long but I wanted to know if I could get a source on the previous theme you had? Your customization is super cute btw.. ^^

hi! I’ve actually gotten this question a few times so ive looked extensively and unfortunately the person that made it has removed their blog and all of the pastebins with the codes, i really liked their themes which is really unfortunate their old url was guydyke but im pretty sure they’re just gone. the only reason i changed it is because i can just get that theme back via theme recovery but for others no such luck it seems :((( hope your day is also going good! And also thank you i love spending too much time on my themes it’s fun

[gayattraction-remade]

A trans woman: Calling yourself guydyke when you're afab is transmisogynistic. You don't get to try to reclaim transmisogyny when you don't experience it. Using trans women to push your homophobia and saying straight trans women can relate to mlm experiences are both also transmisogynistic. Crackheads: Um I think I know more about transmisogyny than you do genuis

[genderqueerdykes]

when i call myself a lesbian and state that i am not (just) a woman, i am not insisting we must replace the current definition of lesbian, but expand it. when i say i'm a lesbian, i mean that i am attracted to and want to be in community spaces with queer women, yes, but i also want other people to be a part of this space as well, because their experiences are identical or near identical to those that queer women face, and/or they are attracted to those women.

i'm not saying that women who are attracted to women only and not in the wrong for saying that's what they mean by lesbianism means to them. there will be many people with that belief and its fine, but when they start to say that no one else can have their own lesbian experience that doesn't line up with theirs perfectly is when there's an issue. even 2 cisgender lesbians can have wildly different takes on what lesbianism means to them.

many lesbians are butchphobic. many lesbians are biphobic. many lesbians will not date or sleep with a queer woman who has dated and/or slept with men or people with penises. many lesbians reject butches who are also men. many lesbians in general reject trans women and other trans lesbians. that doesn't mean that they are 100% correct about lesbianism on the whole... that's just what they've defined it as, for themselves.

my definition of lesbianism includes all dykes. i'm attracted to people who identify as lesbians, dykes, sapphics,, intersex dykes, lesboys, transfem dykes, trans lesbians, lesbian trans women, boydykes, mtf butches, guydykes, butches, femmes, bi/pan/mspec lesbians, transmasc & ftm dykes, male lesbians, bisexual lesbians, multigender dykes, genderfluid sapphics, non binary dykes anyone who identifies as a lesbian sapphic and or dyke. yes i am also attracted to queer women in general, but i am mostly attracted to other lesbians, sapphics and dykes, because there is a culture that is present in these identities that are unique, which is why these terms exist to begin with. we have a nebulous shared experience that spans across many individual identities.

trans men are treated like butch dykes and lesbians regardless of how they identify. theyre bullied out of womanhood. intersex women and people receive this treatment throughout our lifetimes. transmascs, transfems, trans women and queer women in general get treated this way as well. any woman and/or femme who is even remotely gender non conforming gets hit with dyke and lesbian and butch and all kinds of slurs and insults. a lot of people relate to this experience. we're all judged for the same traits, people don't know our AGABs and our identities. many of us share exact experiences despite totally different individual experiences

lesbianism is broad. it's not narrow. it encompasses many forms of transness, from transmasculinity, transfemininity, transneutrality, bigenderism, multigenderism, two spirit, genderqueer, genderfluid, non binary, gender non conforming and many other identities. it's not simply cis woman loving cis woman. or cis woman loving non binary person, which is even worse- conflating non binary people with being women. this definition of lesbianism could not be more transphobic of it tried.

the rejection of butches who are Too Butch only makes this worse, but we can change this by allowing people who have these experiences to express themselves and engage in lesbian, dyke and sapphic spaces. our community is so vast and varied. we have unique experiences from all over the queer community that intersect with lesbianism and dyke identities. we have to celebrate and include these things and expand what we currently know about lesbianism- not replace anything, but build upon the history that came before us, and the people who are coming out as lesbians, sapphics, and dykes today.

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

i'm a girl and i identify as a bisexual but i just came to the realisation that since few days i've been feeling like i want to be in a same sex relationship with a man and in an opposite sex relationship with a girl, but i actually don't feel bad being a girl so does it mean i could be trans? could there be a different reason i feel like that? i'm kinda scared :(

Anything is possible, I guess. Maybe you are a trans guy, maybe you're non-binary, maybe you're a cis woman. I don't know.

What I do know is that a lot of queer women (even cis ones) have a complicated relationship to gender. It is totally possible to both feel good as a girl and wanting to identify that way and still... you know... wanting to ~queer things up~ in your sexual fantasies or romantic ventures. It may also just be a thing about rejecting traditional gender roles so your brain plays a little "trick" on you and reshuffles the gender cards so you can play the game while making up your own rules (did this metaphor grow old yet?).

In the previous post I also casually mentioned "girlfags" and "guydykes" which are identities that describe an experience that could be close to what you're feeling. A girlfag would be a woman (or woman-aligned person) who is attracted to men "in a gay way" and wishes for those men to reciprocate the attraction "in a gay way". Gender plays a huge role in those identities and the way their sexual attraction relates to both their own gender and that of the person they are attracted to can be very complex. Because how is someone confident in being a woman but wants to be seen/loved/fucked like a gay man? Maybe that's where gender really starts to show itself as the social construct that it is. Humans are so much more complex than a gender binary could ever put into words. And so girlfags and guydykes exist no matter how contradictory their identities may seem.

I kinda relate to the term "girlfag" btw, though I don't use it as a descriptor for myself. But I #get it. When I'm attracted to a man I have a strong sense of that attraction being the thing that's ~making me queer~. Where others would say a woman being attracted to a man is "straight attraction" (nevermind how biphobic that sentiment is) I feel like my attraction to men is inherently queer and thus I relate more to gay men than to straight women. I guess you could say: I want men to be attracted to me more because I'm queer and less because I'm a woman. And for a long time I wished I could "have sex with a man as a gay man". Not to go into too much detail now but despite all of that I never identified as anything other than a woman.

Whether you can relate to that is for you to figure out. Maybe Max or Wes want to add their perspectives as trans men to this bc I definitly don't want to dismiss the fact this could also be a sign of being transgender.

But if you keep identifying as a woman then I don't find it at all surprising that you might have those moments where you basically "gender swap" your fantasies. Sounds pretty queer to me and either way: no cause for concern.

Maddie