#but im experiencing feels and cant keep it to myself. so ]

[domokunrainbowkinz]

shipping yhk not in a romantic or platonic way but a secret third way (⬛️⬛️)

[unwaveringblade]

i've finally made it to leon's side of destiny dc and i'm really digging all these extra cutscenes we're getting from his pov...i think it's rly clever how they squeezed in all these extra little interactions with hugo, marian, and chal through moments where he had been apart from the main party. BUT ALSO i just hit that one scene from cherik and it kind of tore my heart out lmao so. i need to ramble.

okay so even before cherik, i think the extra fleshing out of the castle scene was really great. from stahn's side all we ever saw was leon saying he's going to report the situation to the king and request a ship, and then...he soon came back with a ship! his report to the king naturally couldn't have been a pleasant conversation, but it was over and done with so quickly that i didn't think much of it.

and then leon's side showed him trying SO hard to plead his case before the king, his frustration at being dismissed and treated like a child, his momentary happiness and triumph when the king finally agreed...only for it to immediately come crashing as hugo comes in and smugly takes all the credit? god my HEART.

so then we sail off from darilsheid with leon under a shit ton of pressure, beating himself up from what happened in straylize and so so SO determined to succeed. it's under these conditions that they arrive at cherik. and they talk to baruk, who points out that it's "rare for leon to get along with people his age" while stahn happily says it's bc theyre friends, which naturally would've made leon feel put on the spot and defensive. and this was apparent when playing stahn's side, but even then, the way leon verbally lashed out afterwards and said he was "disgusted" seemed especially harsh.

still, it's leon, so i'd always just chalked it up to him being judgemental and disliking stahn's attitude + simply not respecting him during this part of their journey. all of which is true to some extent but then leon's side hits me with this additional scene:

and ofc i'd known that leon struggled to deal with people who wanted to use him for his status, but i had no idea that he suspected STAHN of all people to be doing that as well. but in hindsight, ofc he would think that...all this time, stahn was trying so hard to befriend leon, only for all these genuine gestures to be misinterpreted in the worst way possible. i need to go lie down now.

that said, i love the way this recontextualizes leon's bitterness and extreme resistance to friendship early on. stahn's efforts at friendship wasn't just grating to leon bc he thought it was a waste of time. leon's been burned by people lying and using him before. he thought stahn was doing the same, and it was only when stahn took the hit for him in the temple that he realized that wasn't the case...at which point he did warm up to him! that really was the turning point.

i'm experiencing so many feelings right now and i cant wait to see the confrontation at calviola's temple from leon's perspective soon. he'd ran off by himself for a little while there, so i'm sure there'll be a new scene, and i'm really digging the way they're using his side to explore his character further - tbh i expected it to be a 95% identical retread of act 1, but it is so much more than that! why did i wait this long to actually play tod dc...i love it...

[canislupusangelus]

"Just go over and ask to join a group, it's as simple as that!" Actually no it isn't I've been crying about it for like 2 hours.

[player-tag]

when i was 11 or so and new to fanfiction i would always get pissed when adults would comment on fics saying how they could tell the person writing them was a minor because their view of the world and wording of certain things was so rudimentary and i thought for sure they were lying, especially since i thought my view of the world was so Adult and my writing was Mature.

now that i'm 18, i completely understand their point. because, like, i literally cant read some fics, and i think i know exactly why.

[adambomb82]

It's that time again

[billsbabydoll]

“𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓊𝓃𝒻𝒾𝓍𝒶𝒷𝓁ℯ, 𝒸𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒷𝓇ℯ𝒶𝓀 𝓉𝒽𝓇ℴ𝓊𝑔𝒽 𝓎ℴ𝓊𝓇 𝓌ℴ𝓇𝓁𝒹.”

contains:HARSH ANGST+SMUT<3

summary:finally getting sick of bills toxicity and instability, i packed up all of my belongings and planned to “leave him” or as i stupidly told myself, only to find myself easily falling back into his same hypnotizing trap.

WARNINGS:abusive relationship, fighting, arguing, manipulation (I DO NOT CONDONE ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS in this story, this story is ONLY for entertainment purposes!!!), very narcissistic and misogynistic bill, hard-dom!bill, dumb-sub!reader, p in v (against the wall), degrading, pet-names, LIGHT choking, heavy breeding kink.

notes:as someone who has experienced theses types of situations firsthand, if you ever do find yourself in these kinds of circumstances please take the initial steps to get yourself out that relationship immediately, youll be fine i promise love ya!

HEAVY THEMES AHEAD!

“yeah go fucking cry about it you sensitive bitch, get the fuck outta’ my face!”bill loudly shouted at me from the living room as i ran and locked myself into our shared bedroom, tears streaming profusely down my cheeks, as i tumbled onto the bed and proceeded to curl myself up into a small pathetic ball.

im tired of living like this, being so isolated, feeling so trapped, being so mentally and physically drained, having to constantly walk around eggshells around him.

me and bills relationship was a perfect fairytale in the beginning, but quickly came burning down in flames and burnt down to pure ashes at his rage.his anger completely undoing every single precious thing he ever once said to me.

every “i love you.” or “i cant wait to start a life with you.” was once a simple loving string of words now being dangled high above my head as a reminder of his broken promises.

i still cling onto that small glimmer of hope that he could change some-day, that he could love me again, or that he could simply hold me without hurting me.

i lay in my own pity for a long grueling hour before i decide to slowly unravel myself from my position, gently getting up from the bed, wiping the tears from my eyes telling myself,

“i need to leave,

right now.”

i kick into full panic mode and immediately start changing into a dark colored tracksuit and a comfortable pair of sneakers, then i rummage through our closet grabbing random handfuls of my belongings stuffing my suitcase to the brim.

i quietly creak the bedroom door open and make my way through the dark hallway, my luggage in one hand as i try to rush towards the front door.

“going somewhere babe?”he eerily questioned, his evil presence immediately sending cold chills down my spine.

“i-i-uhm..”i mumbled trying to find some kind of explanation but it was if something was struck in my throat, i looked like a child who just got caught with my hand in the cookie jar.

“im leaving!”i managed to spit out, slowly turning to face him.

“oh your leaving?”he responded in a cartoonish voice mocking my own, chuckling manically at my response.

he crosses his arms over his chest as he cockily looks me up and down, he then quickly steps forward grabbing me by my chin with his right hand, yanking a fistful of my hair with his left.

“cant you see THIS is the life i promised you honey?you know no-ones ever gonna buy you all those pretty dresses you like wearing f’me, provide for you like i do, or keep a GODDAMN roof over your head like i do!”

what he was saying was true, without him i wouldnt have a single penny to my name.he took care of every expense, he even had me on a monthly allowance but he didnt do anything of it out of the goodness of his heart he rather used it to his advantage knowing hed always win.

“i know i know but, i-im tired of you being like this bill, im sick of it!i swear ill give it all back if thats what you really want!”i nervously murmured, his grip on my chin and hair tightening.

“your such an ungrateful brat, you dont even deserve to be breathing the same air as me, i shouldve just throw you out months ago like the trashy bitch you are.”

he yelled into my face before slamming me against the wall letting go of some of his grip on me as he pulled down his pants and boxers along with my sweatpants and panties.

“you wanna be treated like a worthless whore ill fucking treat you like one then.“

he wrapped one of his arms strongly around my neck keeping me in place, as he teased his cock in between my slicks folds, causing me to softly whimper.

“aww…look at you poor baby, you just wanted some attention huh, want me to fuck you isnt that right?”he purred squeezing my neck firmly in his arm, sliding his length harshly inside my walls.

though i hated to admit it, it truly turned me on how possessive and upset he got when i tried leaving it showed me he still sort-of cared.the fact he still had enough respect to still fuck me was enough to have me eating right out of his palm, anytime he showed me the slightest bit of affection it casted his spell over me all over again.

he continued thrusting his full length inside my cunt, beginning to aggressively pound away, my head banging against the cold wall.

“ugh-i shouldnt even be mmhtouching you right now ungrateful bitch!”he shouted, his free hand slapping my ass sure enough to leave hand prints the next morning.

“f-fuck fuck, im ughh-yours baby!”i moaned out, tears beginning to spill from my eyes, his tip kissing my cervix perfectly.

“das ist r-richtig, mhm!du gehst verdammt noch mal nirgendwo hin(thats right, your not going fucking anywhere),

gonna fill you all up, hopefully y-you get pregnant that way your ugh-stuck with me!”

the sound of our moans combined with the banging on the wall echoed throughout the house, the faint tv not even being enough to cover up his disgusting insults and my foul cries.

“b-bill ugh please i c-cant!”

“take my f-fucking cock mhmy little cum slut!”

his hips are bucking into mine at an animalistic pace as he urgently chases his release, my walls deliciously clenching around his girth, sending him immediately over the edge.

“scheibe scheibe scheibe(shit shit shit!)”he yelled out suddenly fucking his cock deeper inside my sweet walls, ropes of his seed oozing deep inside my pussy.

“ich w-werde ganz in dir abspritzen du mmh-dumme s-schlampe, ich werde dich mit meinem verdammten baby schwängern (im gonna cum all inside you, stupid slut, im gonna get you pregnant with my baby!)”he adds breeding his cum inside me with a few final thrusts, pulling his length out of me with a loud pop.

bill then releases me from his arm allowing me to slam down onto the floor, pulling his pants up smugly as he knelt down to my level.

“next time im beating the fuck outta’ this was me playing nice, understood? now go make me some dinner before you piss me off again.”

i nod my head instantly at his demands, rubbing the side of my cheek that hit the ground.

“such a good little girl, i love you.” he praised grinning widely down at me before getting back up and walking away from me.

“i love you too.”

and the cycle continues.

THE END

[141goblin]

Soft: Part Five

MDNI!!!

CW: Slightly smutty, John Price being DOWN BAD for reader, swearing.

A/N: hi hi hi! I know its been a hot minute since I continued this story, but I hope you all love it. I have created a masterlist, so you'll be able to find all parts in one place :3

It's well into the day when my sweet girl finally decides to text me back. Poor thing, probably nursing a hangover. I have to stop myself from getting in my car and driving over there, burying my face between those perfect, plush thighs of hers and eating her out until her hangover melts out of her ears. Easy, John. While I'm waiting for her text, I allow myself to indulge in my thoughts a little. Is my big, sweet girl experienced? Has she been properly fucked? Fucked and worshipped until she,s a puddle of limbs and jelly on her mattress, until she cant form a coherent thought, until her heartbeat pounds in her ears and her head feels like its filled with cotton wool. I’m not quite sure which side I’d prefer; my sweet girl that doesn’t know how to please herself and another man, or the version of her in my head that can float around the bedroom, exuding pure sex and femininity. The thought of another man having his hands on her makes the ugly, burning desire to cause pain at the base of my skull flare up, the worst part of me that I want, no need, to keep far away from sweet thing if im going to make her mine, and I fully intend to make her mine. 

My phone buzzes on the coffee table and my cock simulataneously twitches in my pants at the sheer possibility that it might be her. Pavlov’s fucking dog, or something. It is her, full of apologies for her little rant last night, offering to give me my jacket back. Bless her, too polite for her own good. Where’s that fire I saw last night, dove? My mind drifts to my jacket that she has, the one I draped over her shoulders last night. I imagine hanging up somewhere in her flat, an observer as my girl goes about her day. I don't want to get it back yet, I want her to have a reminder of me for as long as possible. I need to be in her head the way she’s in mine, made a little home for herself up there, she has. I find my cheeks rounding out in a smile when I remember how it looked on her, draped perfectly and practically swallowing her whole, despite her size. What would my T-shirts look like on her? God, just imagining it has me chubbing up in my trousers. The cotton clinging to her delicious curves, pulled tight around her waist until it looks like a second skin, riding up when she bends over…

My cigar rests between my lips, forgotten in favour of my phone as I type out a reply. I wonder if she’s glued to her phone like I am, heart pounding and head spinning as we converse through a screen. I hope so. The text gets sent and my phone sits idle on my thigh as I wait to see the three little bubbles that tell me she's typing, but they don't come. Come on, angel. Work with me here. I pick it up again, thumbs hovering over the keys as I fight an internal battle with myself. My beautiful girl isn’t going to be easily won over, I know that much. Texting her again would be too much, I decide. Where’s the fun in it? She’ll come to me, I’m sure of it. Or at least, that’s what I'm telling myself as I pour myself another whisky, feet propped up on the coffee table and chest rising and falling with impatience as I wait for my phone to buzz again.  It’s almost laughable, what a pretty, soft, fiery woman has reduced me to; Captain John Price, glued to his phone, fingers tapping against the glass as he waits for a text from a girl he’s met once. Maybe she’ll keep me young. Her beautiful self floats around my skull for longer than I’d care to admit; as I watch the footy, as I do paperwork in my office, as I shower before bed, as I lay down with my hand fisting my cock, imagining what noises she’d make, how she’d look with her eyes full of pleasure, how she’d respond if I worked orgasm after orgasm out of her… That night, I sleep better than I have for a long time.

[etherealkissed88]

Firstly, I love your blog! Second, I feel so bad because I think I'm so ugly (I only like a few things about myself) and not fitting in the standards, so I compare myself very much. What's your advice? It's so hard to feel ugly, like I can't compete..

thank you! - okay you feel ugly. i want you to understand that this feeling is neutral. i want you to know that you are fulfilling yourself with this idea of you not fitting in w the standards.

1. imagine a scene that implies you are beautiful (ppl complimenting you, you staring at urself in the mirror, you telling yourself you cant believe how perfect you look). do whatever technique you want. you can loop the scene/visualization until it feels real to you, it doesnt have to be hd clear quality, i visualize blurry and i still manifest. keep doing this until you feel satisfied in imagination, this is experiencing it so dont imagine it to get something in the 3d (it will reflect in the 3d either way), imagine it to feel good bc why wouldnt you want to be fulfilled in knowing your beautiful?). you can also just simply decide your beautiful regardless of the 3d.

2. once you feel satisfied, know that that is now a fact or you can think about it as a memory. imagination is the real reality right? so what you just imagined (experienced) is a fact. assume it to be true and whenever you think of it, know it done.

3. if you get negative thoughts, insecurities, see circumstances, it is all neutral which means it has no original meaning, it is you who always adds meaning. realize you can choose what everything means or you can choose that it still has no meaning. continue to go back into imagination and know its real.

🎀i used to have the same insecurity, what i did to overcome this is simply assuming that no matter what i feel, i still am exactly how i want to look like. when i would feel insecure, i would go straight into imagination and feel like my ideal self. if i was my ideal self, would i care about a feeling or thought that tells me otherwise? no. bc i know im the operant power and i always choose who to be in imagination. who you are being in imagination always expresses in the 3d so thats exactly what happened: i actually started to naturally feel beautiful and look beautiful in the 3d just like how i did in imagination. this is proof that the 3d never matters and is always neutral.

[eepywriters]

I LOVED YOUR MESSAGES WITH QUACKITY ❤️❤️❤️

please do getting into an agrument with quackity headcanons please 🙏🏻🙏🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻😙😙🫣‼️💕💕🩷🩷

.✦°. • getting into an argument hcs (*´Д｀*)

warnings: a bit of angst and maybe a bit ooc? I tried 😞🤚🏻

a/n: HIII!! THANK U SO MUCH! It means a lot :D and sorry if it took so long ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡ finals kicked my ass so I couldn’t write for a while BUT IM HERE SO LET’S GET INTO IT

EARLY INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

(thinking of a young, little experienced Alex)

Oh it’s jover

This could actually be something that could cause a breakup cuz let me tell you THIS MAN just can’t stand confrontation

If it’s something that bugged you, he’d probably understand your point of view but would also be very overwhelmed at the thought of losing you cause he hasn’t been good enough for you, resulting in him hyper focusing on his spiraling thoughts rather than listening to what you are saying

I feel like he’d also be the type to act like nothing happened right after an argument; he’d ignore the tense situation and make jokes to light up the mood and forget about it. He’s not dense, he knows it hurts you to see him seemingly ignore your feelings like that, but he’s not used to being listened so he ends up making his partner go trough his predicament as well

BUT it’s even worse if it’s something that bugged HIM; he probably wouldn’t tell you about it, much preferring to suck it up and don’t cause problems, even though he IS creating more problems

the underlying tension caused by his silence would bring the relationship to a breaking point:

1 you break up and the regret eats him up (probably also wouldn’t reach out again because of shame and a tiny bit of ego)

2 you talk about it cause it can’t go on like this

When I talk about bugging tho, I’m thinking about things that don’t surge an immediate reaction from him, because if he’s mad, he’s mad.

He’s the venomous type, forget his silence and self pity, he’ll probably laugh in your face in irritation and say whatever the fuck he thinks

He’ll retreat to his office as soon as he sees the hurt in your face, understanding he went to far and going back to he’s usual silence, ending up giving you the silence treatment. (he also feels incredibly ashamed) (he’ll just stay in his office all day, editing mindlessly since his mind is anywhere but in the work he’s doing)

He’ll either leave you alone in bed that day, making you sulk and feel as lonely as ever, or will sleep with you but it’ll be the coldest shit ever (like the typical movie scene where two people sleep super afar from each other)

Don’t misunderstand tho, he does feel guilty, he just struggles with communicating his feelings properly (*´ー｀*)

“(Name) I’m not a child, stop acting like you are my fucking mom” he spat, a look of indignation spreading on his features, shaping his otherwise gentle appearance into a strong, furious one.

“Cant you understand that I’m worried about you?” you strike back, jaw impossibly tightened “I understand that you’re very dedicated to your job, but you can’t get yourself to this state.” You sigh, not able to keep up the mad act: “You look very tired Alex”.

You take a tentative step towards him, determined to show him you weren’t scolding him, nor were you mad at him. You were trying to establish contact with him, not start a fight, after all your irritation came from worry, not anger. But he didn’t receive that well. His brows scrunching even further while his mouth twitches downwards.

“Stop acting like I’m some fucking rabid animal. I can take care of myself just fine, I don’t need a fucking babysitter”.

Seems that wasn’t the right move.

The way he was saying your name was probably what hurt the most. You find yourself missing the gentle tone he usually reserved to it when spoken.

“What are you even saying?” you breathe out, your voice being so fragile you almost don’t recognize it as your own. “Do you hear what you are saying? You are being impossible Alex”.

At this point his foot is stomping nervously on the floor. He’s getting annoyed by the minute and he can’t wait to forget about this tense situation. Arguments always put him on edge, but instead of working on the root cause of his discomfort, he always had preferred to just get himself out of the mess as soon as possible. (He hadn’t yet grasped how much that could hurt others). And that’s why, out of everything he could’ve gone, he replied with the one of the most uncalled for things he could ever come up with.

“Maybe instead of worrying about me, you should take a good look at yourself first”.

And you know what he was trying to entail.

You were never insecure of your dark circles, or at least, it wasn’t something that bugged you on the daily ever since you had found a common ground with Alex, knowing he struggled with very prominent circles cause of his lack of sleep. But for someone like him, who always had a hard time with his appearance, to clap back at you by going for your looks? Foul. Unexpected. Not like him at all.

You were sure he could tell from the look of disbelief on your face that he had fucked up.

Alex’s breathing keeps up, his chest constricts, and the anger and the pride that he has wearing like a tailored suit are stripped out of him at the sight of your frown. His mind goes haywire trying to come up with any response.

Maybe if you would’ve known him better by then, you would’ve known how terrified he was of your judgment. Even though his fame often had him deal with horrible comments filled with free hate, if judgement came from you, it scarred 100 times more than anything could ever do.

“Just leave it be, I’m fine” it’s all he mutters before booking it and hiding himself in his office, leaving you to stand there, in the middle of your living room.

Tears prickle your eyes, threatening to fall at any moment and your lip begs you for mercy as you bite into it.

God, why was communicating so difficult in this house?

LONG INTO THE RELATIONSHIP

It took time, it took healing, it took sitting down and TALKING to finally find your balance

He’s still pretty much venomous when it comes to immediate triggers, but after you are both done fighting and cursing each other out, you talk about it and come out of it somewhat unscathed

Anger isn’t easy to control or refrain after all, but you both try your best, and you are able to make up most of the times without falling into old dynamics of silent treatment or isolation

If something bugs him, he most likely will tell you; he is hesitant about it, but after many nights spent in your arms, he starts to let go on some of his biggest worries (anxiety still gnaws at his core every time he opens his mouth though, that doesn’t get old at all)

If something bugs you, he doesn’t shy away from confrontation anymore; he’s not perfect at it either, he still feels the urge to run away and laugh about it all, but he’s gotten way better at it

He’s still very scared of you having a negative opinion about him, but now you know him well enough to spend some extra time to reassure him that you won’t stop loving him for a petty fight, and that arguments in relationship are important to grow not only as a couple, but as people too

“(Name)” he calls out, and you instantly recognize the hint of anxiety that he’s trying to hide from you.

“Yes honey?” you reply, taking your eyes off your phone to stare into his pretty, brown ones. They screamed stress, fear, yet also determination. He did so much progress compared to the beginnings of your relationship. You were proud of him.

Alex took a deep breath before saying: “Uhm, It’s about the photo of us you posted earlier”. You could practically smell the tension in the air. His body is stiff, his chest is heaving, but your gaze is captured by his fingers and by how his nails are digging into them continuously, tearing his already red skin.

You take his hands in yours, preventing him from doing further damage to his poor, abused fingers. You knew he does it as a way to ground himself, but he really needed to find a new coping method - one that didn’t feature him torturing his body if possible.

He stares at his hands in yours for a while. You don’t say anything, allowing him to take his time.

“Okay fuck it” Alex whispers under his breath, so quietly you almost miss it.

“It makes me feel insecure, I don’t like it” he admits, keeping his focus on your hands as he munches his bottom lip nervously. You, in response, draw slow circles on his hands, offering him a gentle smile.

“Can you delete it..?” he sounds unsure, like he’s testing the waters instead of actually making a request. Either way you welcome it.

You put one of your fingers under his chin, gently applying pressure for him to lift his head, just enough to look at you. “Of course I can. Thank you for telling me Alex, I know it’s hard”. His once tense body relaxes.

He avoids your tender gaze, seemingly preferring to stare at the floor, yet you see the soft blush that was quickly taking over his cheeks. You also can’t help but notice that he already had found his charming smile back.

“Stop looking at me like that” he mumbles as his smile spreads. Uh oh, that can only mean trouble.

“Like what” your eyes narrow, not trusting his new found confidence.

“Like this”.

His imitation is pitiful: furrowed eyebrows, small frown and large puppy dog eyes. The more you look at him, the more he reminds you of that one emo guy that kind of looks like him (he definitely does). He looks ridiculous. How did you even fall in love with this dude?

You slap his arm, scoffing out a laugh as you look at him incredulous: “I don’t look like that!”.

“I think you do” he says with a smug tone, one that makes you want to hit him with a pillow till he goes back to sleep. And maybe you just will.

“Oh it’s on you motherf-“

The room was filled with laughter instead of unconfortable, loud silence.

(first post of 2024 yippiee)

[blackpilljesus]

i feel suicidal ever since i became black pilled and i have no idea how and if its possible to live knowing that there will never be women liberation and having to deal with males 24/7 and that things gets worse for women everyday and there is any moment for me to become another victim story posted on media and other males will either jerk it off or "womp womp" it. i cant even scroll anything literally anything without misogyny i just scrolled a post that an indian woman in canada got cooked alive and the comments by males just like i expected "rest in deodorant" "okay next" and making jokes and saying she deserve it for not only being a woman but indian too..like how am i supposed to live among these creatures how am i supposed to also live among women who will jump on me if i told them we should do something about males and their violence..i think women are biologically masochists and males are biologically raging violence who hates women and have 0 sympathy. its so unfair my safety and my life is dependent on all womens choices and that i cant get liberation and save myself if most women are enablers and make things worse for ourselves by thinking males can be rehabilitated or not all men or whatever their coping mechanism and masochist logic. i think im also turning into a misogynist and i don't care anymore when i see a woman harmed by male because i know if i said something about males she will be in front line too calling me "man hater dyke" or "feminazi terf" and equating me with incels. how one can cope with all that

Focus on yourself. That's it. See others for what they are but ultimately focus on yourself.

The last bit of your ask is so real because I feel the same way, your issue is that you're tying yourself to other women. You're meshing your fate with theirs. It is a depressing state of affairs but you need to learn to decouple yourself from these things. Ironically the blackpill saved me because it gave me answers that confirms my worldview. It saved me because I realised it's not my fault.

It's hard but constantly absorbing all this stuff will mess you up, the internet is a magnifier of peoples degeneracy. When I see this shit now I just apathetically look at it on a surface level like watching animals in the wild.

Damn maIe degeneracy, again. Women supporting them, again. Typical. Then move on tbh.

Constant outrage with no action only hurts yourself, as I always say anti natalism is your saving grace here. As long as you don't add another person to the system & keep the messed up cycle going you're golden. As for social media either work on finetuning your algorithm or reduce the amount of time you spend on it. Besides for most cases it's all a waste of time. Short term dopamine but long term (unless you're making money) it doesn't get you anywhere, you're making others money by consuming content that doesn't help you.

Also read this. Author's changed her views but it's still solid words and I think a lot of it applies in your case. This part in particular

You are showing signs of genuine trauma to me because nobody who is not severely affected by a problem would react this harshly to it. I interact with the same type of women you are describing daily and I guarantee you that I do not react to their words the way you do, you are experiencing some kind of trauma response. You need to understand that your body is not these women's bodies and vice versa no matter how much they try to tell you otherwise, and that the acts they are engaging in are not being done to you. What they are essentially doing in trying to convince you that their problems are your problems is blackmailing you out of prioritizing yourself with things like "all of us have the potential to go through X or Y at the hands of men" (nevermind the fact that not all of us will go through the adverse effects of voluntary involvement with men, like infidelity, disappointment with your health and body after a successful pregnancy or violation of boundaries during consensual sex) and "if we all opted out, men would take it by force" — there will be no "opting out" for every woman on Earth and I have literal proof of them wanting to risk sex or pregnancy voluntarily on my blog. Opting out is for the select few who want to do nothing with heterosexual nonsense even if the price of doing so is death because partaking in their drivel is death, physical and spiritual, and if they really did care about distancing themselves from it all that much they would know that death is the least you will be willing to put up with. The behavior they engage in is perfectly avoidable. Is it hard? It is, but "hard" is very different from the "impossible" they are trying to paint it as.

[everything-transmasculine]

I’m very sorry to be ranting in your anons but I’ve found myself incredibly frustrated and I don’t know where else to talk about this. I keep seeing “trans men should maliciously comply and use the women’s restroom” posts every time I open the trans UK subreddit. Often the posts are made by trans men and transmasculine folks but honestly? It’s frustrating nonetheless. It ignores the fact that the ruling treats us as not male enough for men’s bathrooms but too male for women’s bathroom. It ignores that cis women assault and oppress trans men and transmasculine people, too. Not all transmasculine people are treated like poor confused little girls. Those of us that can’t feasibly be detransitioned to a cis standard are treated like dangerous perverts too and transphobic cis women absolutely respond to us and our presence with hostility. It makes me feel like me and other transmasculine folks are little more than props rather than, you know, trans people that are part of the community. This hurts us too, we’re in danger too. If other transmasculine people want to do that, all the more power to them. But it’s been a community wide sentiment and I find it frustrating that the community overall seems to think we’re not in enough danger to warrant protection and caution too.

I’ve seen posts pushing back against this idea too, which is nice and heartening especially because there’s loads of supportive comments as well. But there’s always people pushing back, often nitpicking the wording or sometimes outright denying that trans men and transmasculine people are also affected by the ruling. And I can’t help but feel sad and upset about it.

no problem at all anon - thats what im here for!

the people making these sort of comments do seem unable to comprehend the fact that cis women are able to perpetrate violence as well - their cisness and their womanhood doesnt exempt them from that whatsoever. i mean from a personal standpoint, all the times ive been harmed, harassed, etc, were by cis women. cis women have pushed me out of jobs, cis women have harassed me sexually, cis women have degendered me, cis women have been the root cause behind almost every transphobia-based violence that ive experienced. so to me, personally, its insane and baffling that the sentiment of “transmascs should just use the womens bathroom!” exists. like you said - those of us who cant feasibly detransition are othered and seen as violent perverts, those of us who pass are seen as dangerous men, and those of us who dont pass and can detransition shouldnt be forced to just to piss out in public. and thats without touching on how much worse its going to be for transmascs of colour. cis women hold power over transmasculine people by nature of being cisgender, to argue otherwise is counterproductive.

the invisibility of transmasculine people - other than when used as a prop for other people - is dangerous, full stop. we, as a community, should be uplifting all trans voices, and not just using transmasculine people as a “gotcha” or a prop in other peoples stories. its important not to forget - what affects one of us affects ALL of us. equal rights for everyone, one of feminisms core tenets, means equal rights for EVERYONE.

[only-knives]

do you have any advice for dealing with delusions? im...struggling

also hearing you call me lonely was really appreciated today, thanks :3

i can only share what works for me, which may not work for you. but i work with my delusions, not against them. sane people may find that unhealthy but for me, if i dont decrease my distress, the delusion gets worse. and the more i try to deny the delusion (or paranoia), the more my brain makes me believe it.

basically, it helps me to know everyone's experience of reality is different. and thats ok. even two nonpsychotic people will understand the same event in different ways. i accept what i'm dealing with and find ways to make life tolerable with that.

tw for unreality for the rest of this ask bc i'll share examples of my thought process/actions. dont read if you're susceptible to taking on others' delusions/parnaoia.

if im scared someone's staring at me thru my window, i'll muster the courage to look and then if no one's there, i'll draw my curtains. if i think someone might break into my house, i go and lock all the doors, and i keep an eye on my cat since he'd know if someone were coming.

when it comes to the simulation delusion (i never fully recovered from).. i'll just be like well.. nothing about what im experiencing right now is changing. so, i'm just going to keep living my life and religiously avoid triggers/thinking about it.

whereas if i try to reason myself out of it, my brain will come up with reasons why i cant just go on with my life. or it will lead me to seek out things that trigger it more. which ends dangerously for me.

i've pretty much just learned to take my thoughts at face value, do what i need to feel safe, and not poke the bear. it took time to learn that, but it's been 5 years since I've had anything more than an hour or two of spiraling a bit, every few months. ive had schizoaffective disorder since i was 9. so yea.

[cupsofcoffeestains]

shifting vent/potential motivation??

hey gang-

tw: minor mention of dissociation

so ive been making some positive developments in my shifting journey, and I hate to say it, but things really are starting to "click"

I always hate seeing those videos/posts from experienced shifters being like "i cant explain my mindset change, it just started to click" but now im eating my hatred and realizing what these people were talking about.

unfortunately, i do not have the words to fully explain what i mean but dw im gonna try.

For me, mindset shifts and my shifting journey advancing has kind of been like growing up, or maturing. You know how you see all those videos on tt saying "me when i wake up on a random tuesday and realize my frontal lobes are developing" etc. that (for me, at least) has kinda been similar to my shifting journey.

What this has looked like for me, as someone who has been trying to successfully make it to my dr since 2020, was being less angry with myself, with the universe, with others in the shifting community for my not shifting. It has come with time. Again, it has come with so so much time spent growing as a person, growing spiritually, and growing as a shifter. Taking breaks, learning to appreciate my reality (i know this is a privilege, to actually enjoy my life in my home reality/my cr) but learning to appreciate what is good even amongst all the bad that is and could be happening. As someone who struggled in the beginning of my journey, actively disassociating and basically working against what my body and mind actually needed.

Shifting can look different for everyone, and thats why ive decided to post about my mindset a little more. Sometimes its hard for me to find people who have spent so much time shifting and are still optimistic about their journey, so i guess this is me putting in my little shiftblr application to be that person for anyone who this might benefit.

also, just a last little note, for those of you who do not have anyone to talk to about shifting, who aren't making shifting friends online or in person, writing out about your journey on a blog like this can be so helpful. For me, I am a solo shifter (through circumstance and just the fact that I cant upkeep friendships online, only moots), and writing on this blog has helped me feel like people are hearing me (even if no one interacts with this). Just knowing my thoughts are somewhere other than my head and my private journal has made me feel less alone in my journey, and i highly encourage that if this resonated with you to try blogging. keep it anonymous if you're nervous! pretty sure none of my profile is accurate to who i am irl, and that has really helped me let stuff out about shifting.

anyways, i hope this post was helpful! much love to all my shifters, especially those of us who have been here for what feels like forever <3

[olderthannetfic]

Have been having such a time lately trying to commit to this fic im writing because it's. Incredibly cathartic and is the start of me finally starting to explore the concepts im ashamed of being fascinated by.

Mpreg jokes have become so ubiquitous that it feels like people just roll their eyes or look at me like im a weirdo for trying to take the idea seriously? not just as a physical reality for the m getting pregged in question, but also as an Emotional reality for the character. Pregnancy and pregnant characters are still treated So fucking weirdly in General, and. i understand people having a trigger related to it, thats not what im talking about ofc, but at the same time its like. Its Pregnancy. Its how Life happens. And men irl Can and DO get pregnant. Even men that dont "look like" they would enjoy it. It's always "dont pigeon hole effeminate men as bottoms/omegas/subs!!" Until someone comes out and actually wants to see and read about The Most Stereotypical Guy to ever Dude experiencing 1.) what it means to be a vessel for life, and 2.) How that changes the way people will treat him.

Bc! as soon as i bring it up, no matter how tactfully and Chaste i try to be about it, the atmosphere in the conversation always Shifts, and there's this feeling that everyone just wants me to shut up and stop being a pervert because the mere premise makes them uncomfortable. Like im sorry thinking about men in fiction undergoing women's lived reality gives me a way to articulated an understanding of what it means to be capable of having a child (all the good, bad, and ugly parts of it) that is still not otherwise allowed in Polite Discussion irl, even in the closest of relationships??

Ill keep writing it for sure but like. The shame is rearing its head and im trying to fight it my getting Mad at the pervasive (and probably just perceived) puritanical judgements dished out my the rest of the world, instead.

Why is the idea of pregnancy never taken seriously. Why is it always shoved in a corner to be ignored till it Happens and its Forced into relevance. And then why is it treated as pointless or worse just straight up Bad if it isn't "done right"/arousingly/humorously while being relevant, either on the character's part Or the author's?

It's getting better more and more with time but im just. Wracking my brain about it today. I cant stop thinking about it, its all i want to talk about, but even In my nicest and most opem circles i can feel people pulling away, and all i can think is its because im doing it to the Wrong character (major macho man villian with a Lot of daddydom themed xreaders...) or something. and its so hard not to let myself get discouraged 👽

--

A lot of my fandom circles act like that, and it's because all pregnancy is somewhere between a massive squick and massively boring to them.

I find pregnancy more interesting now that I've experienced it, but I was definitely like "Why would anyone ever talk to me about this?" before, and it wasn't about picking the wrong character.

Some things are just unpopular with some audiences. Try not to get too discouraged.

[pixiecaps]

hi. im sorry if this is a weird question but. what makes you keep watching smps?? just, what motivates you if everytime things and characters and plotlines captivate you and they almost never end in a satisfactory way. it might be because im a newbie in myct but every server i learned about seems to just last very little or burn in a horible death. what makes you want to go again and again to new servers.

okay to start off here there’s two layers and one is more of a personal thing and another basically advice.

first i dont talk about this much but my brain just latches onto things and one of my longest lasting interests is on minecraft. probably since the game was released. i think ive probably watched more minecraft content than tv shows & movies in my entire life. because my brain just works that way

now second. i need to this to be clarified everyone has a different reason for sticking along and i think this is a wonderful question that so many mcyt bloggers would have different answers to that would provide a lot of cool insight and perspective. dont think the question is weird at all.

BUT for me i think it was around smplive which was 2019 that was rough that was really the first and only time that i wanted to stop watching minecraft completely. for a lot for a reasons rlly. and yet i didnt!!! and thats because i realized that i didnt want to let something i cherished and enjoyed be tarnished by the bad. its so important to allow yourself grace whenever something bad happens with mcyt content or creators themselves because you arent the one to blame for something turning sour. too much good and incredible content and communities come from these unfortunately ended smps and whatnot to just to be seen as that one thing. i think sometimes, out of spite even, i feel like I NEED TO NOT LET THESE THINGS BE OVERSHADOWED BY THE BAD. because so many smps are fucking wonderful experiences with amazing creators who dedicate so much time to them and who are so funny and talented and for them to not be recognized for that at all is a shame. i loved every smp ive watched and i dont regret watching any of them. theyve all given me so much joy and laughter and its important to remember that. so ig another part of it all is allowing yourself to appreciate the good and not let the bad stop you from experiencing all the future content thats made from mcyt that will be incredible. because there will be more smps and there will so many mcyt creators and the ball isnt gonna stop rolling. sometimes it just boils down to something as simple as not letting the bad experiences stop you from seeing the good the community has to offer. as well as for me outside of the content itself with smps the fanbases have singlehandedly taken a part of my heart. theres just so many wonderful people in these communities who have put out so much positivity that i cant possibly find myself regretting it or not going back in whenever the next smp drops.

much love anon hope that makes a little bit of sense

[souredoughbread]

Date Night part 2

dragging me up the stairs as you praise me for how good i was during the movie

as we cross the threshold of the door you spin us around almost as if we were dancing, letting go of my hands and and giving me a slight push onto the bed

you practically leap on top of me, pinning my hand into the mattress and with a slight smirk as you stare into my eyes, you use your knees to pry my legs apart

usually you would cuff my hands behind my back or bind me to the bed but my mind is still in a haze as its only been a minute for us to find ourselves in this situation

as you slip off the gorgeous red dress you decided to wear for dinner, just to tease me, i attempt to speak but youve already prepared for that, stuffing your panties into my mouth and my eyes shoot wide open at the taste of you through lacy fabric

on your knees, you hover yourself over me close enough that i can practically feel how wet you are but far enough that i cant thrust up to reach you

you slowly lower yourself until you feel my tip, nod your head back in pleasure and adjust until your clit meets me. you look back down and smile, taking one hand and controlling me in circles to please you

i attempt to use my now free hand to touch you, but your words are quicker than my body. you tell me that because ive been so good im being allowed to control myself, but if i cant behave that can be easily changed

my mind drifts back into a haze as you continue to praise me for being such a good toy for you, calling me pretty and the thought of the acts were committing. i let out loud whimpers and moans which a stifled by the fabric still in my mouth, but even though im not inside you, you still feel so good rubbing against me

after you orgasm twice from using me like a personal vibrator, i feel your weight on me lessen as you get up. you stand beside the bed and look at me while im panting and sweating from the now hours of edging ive experienced. you say nothing but smile at me as you grab one wrist and bind it the the bed, slowly walking to my ankle and doing the same, repeating the cycle on the other side

you remove your panties from my mouth, lean over and give me a kiss and tell me youll be right back as you giddily run downstairs.

you peak around the door frame with something held behind you back, but never reveal what it is, you make your way back on top of me, and slowly insert me inside you. as i let out a gasp at the sudden surprise of feeling inside you, you drop an ice cube in my mouth and push my jaw shut.

the cold puts me into shock and before i can understand whats happening i feel that same cold sensation fondling my balls as you start to move up and down on me. im instantly back to step one, like i was never on the edge to begin with.

as one melts, another ice cube replaces the last, and when that melts i feel the familiar feeling of silicone rubbing against me. my eyes widen and i plead with you between subtle moans and breathy pants to give me rest, after all i was fucked only an hour ago.

without a word you slip the strap inside me again and at that moment, with the perfect combination of you dropping your weight on me, i explode deep inside you

im immediately flush with embarrassment as you glare at me. in a slightly condescending tone you tell me that if i cant follow directions and wait for you tell me im allowed to cum, youre going to make sure i dont have any left for this to happen again.

you push the strap deep in me and tell me to keep it in place as you start riding me at full speed. im squirming and thrashing around trying to get away, not understanding that im still bound to the bed because my brain as been wiped of any logic or thoughts

as we both cum over and over, tears start to roll down the sides of my cheeks. you gather a big grin and coo at me for taking my punishment so well, stating one more just to make sure im dry and then we can be done

finally after what has felt like forever, time doesnt seem to exist for me anymore, you suddenly stop and slowly remove me from inside you. my dick aches and throbs as you glance over your shoulder to look at the art youve created. you straddle up onto my chest, stick your fingers inside you, covering them in loads of my cum and then slowly separating my lips with those same finger, telling me once your clean inside and out my punishment will be over

you remove the restraints, take off my shirt and slip us under the covers after turning off the lights. peace and tranquility rush over me as you wrap one leg over my hip and the other under my knees, taking an arm over my should and around my chest

finally calming down from our ever exciting date night, i start to drift off, nodding awake at the shifting of your skin against mine, just to nod off again.

right as my heartbeat calms and im practically asleep, i feel your hand start sliding down my chest towards my stomach. even knowing whats to come with that motion, i cant stay awake anymore and i drift off to sleep