#but im afraid ive become obsessed

[gayanimebitches]

[impostorsshow]

I'm actually so obsessed with him it's not even funny if i'm not listening to a TikTok or music directly related to him I can't focus free me free me

This is @/cherubpuppet's OC for a object show [au? pitch? wip show? How do I categorize this] and I've been destroyed by the fact that ruler art is infinitely superior [and 10x longer] and i don't have a good enough grasp on lip gloss's personality to make fanfiction so I am frozen in "want make fanart but fanart takes effort :["

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[csainz5]

Mine || Charles Leclerc #16

pairing: charles leclerc x girlfriend!reader

summary: in which seeing people ship you with other drivers fuels the possessiveness in charles.

author notes: can u tell ive been obsessed with culpa mia. also this is my first charles fic (!!!) i made sm tweaks to the original req im so sorry 😭 deff been in a slump recently bc exams but 🙏 no beta read!! this one is still raw asf lol

req: yes/no.

wc: 1.2k words

————

the air as the weekend approached was filled with an adrenaline of its own. drivers loitering on the paddock, a camera shoved up each one of their faces. most of them were making videos for their teams social media, while others were giving interviews. silly banter & playful hazing surrounded the place as the free practices neared. as calm and laid back as the environment was, a new buzz had taken over the virtual world. it seemed like the redbull fans had taken on a new intrest in a the friendship you and max shared, suspecting it could be more than just friends. you’re shocked as you read through the articles, what could possibly make it seem like you were both in any sense more than just friends? max was like the brother you never had, and you, the sister he had always hoped of having. as much as the articles were delusional, you didnt really care that much about them, i mean why would you be afraid when there’s nothing youre scared of being open to the public? okay, maybe not everything. not the time when you were so drunk you demanded every guy on the paddock to quote “settle it with me on the ring”, not the time when you were the culprit behind the hilarious azerbaijan mix up where you stole the champagne on the podium and replaced it with an empty one, and definitely not the fact that you’re already taken, by a person known to all on the paddock.

—

The morning of the race was always an exhilarating one no matter which team youre driving for, or which team you’re rooting for. the passion, the dedication and the confidence in the each and every drivers persona was enough to fill you in the same mindset. though youve always been a redbull fan, which, i mean is definitely not even surprising considering you probably frequent their garage more than some of their own engineers, youve always held an admiration for all the drivers. even you knew how dominant the redbull cars were, so seeing the rest of the drivers still catch up with less resources filled your heart with pride. you look up at the fan’s waiting impatiently for the race to start with a smile on your face. this, will never get boring, you think.

Lord Percival 👑

can’t find you anywhere near here, don’t tell me you’re ditching me today yet again 😔

a chuckle escapes your lips.

You

i wouldve come over but you’re all the way across rn 😭 i’ll definitely be waiting for you after the race tho.

Lord Percival 👑

wow. way to betray me over text babe

You

okay drama queen 😒

Lord Percival 👑

guess you rubbed off on me then mon jolie

You

ill make it up to you, i always do.

just before you press send, you notice the drivers had already left for their respective interviews. whats the point in sending it now anyways, you decide.

—

the dark looms over the sky as celebrations near. the smell of alcohol, weed and god knows fucking what become all too familiar to you at this point. you reach the party alongside max, which considering he’s your best friend was not out of the ordinary for you, but little did you know, it didn’t help the ongoing rumours one bit. the familiar stench of reporters clogs your mind. what the hell were the doing here? and more importantly why were all of them suddenly taking an intrest in your friendship with max? question after question is thrown at you which makes you realise youve had enough of this. you reach for your phone.

You

screw this party

wanna meet up at our usual spot?

Lord Percival 👑

im always down 🙏

—

you could never get sick of this. the same ride, the same atmosphere, the exact same playlist playing over and over again, the curves of the road as you drive through. because you know, at the end of this journey would be the same thing you look forward to, every time. so you get into you car, and drive the same drive to the same spot, once again. at a pillar reading out “623” you stop by the ferrari you know all too well.

there he was. i could never get used to seeing him like this, you think, dressed up in formals but looking formal in no way whatsoever. shriveled hair, buttons unbuttoned, jewellery he knows how to style in just the right way. his crazed eyes of emerald, gazing into you with an intensity that makes your nerves shiver.

“took you long enough to come here” he says, holding you waist. “it was a longer drive than usual” “is that so?” he says, stepping aside you to rest against his ferrari, right beside you. folding his arms, he continues, pulling a cigarette out of his blazer, “want one?” “please, today was a bitch” “i could say the same for me, really” he reaches towards you, lighting your cigarette. “races in monaco are my favourite” he says, looking up at the sky. “yeah, id imagine so. nothing beats home” “yeah, it’s great to be home and all, but theres also something in monaco that beats the thrill any race could give me” he steps forwards, hands placed beside either sides of you.

he pulls the cigarette from your lips, taking in a puff himself. he brings his lips to your ear, “or rather, theres someone in monaco, who beats the thrill any race could give me” he whispers, blowing the smoke away. he flicks the cigarette aside and steps on it, as he lifts your face up, meeting your eyes with his own. “someone who sighs right when i kiss her here,” he goes on to place a chaste kiss on your mole, right on your neck by your jawline. and like a story repeated enough times, you sigh. “someone who arches her back when i pull her hair slightly like this,” he gently tugs your hair, making a makeshift ponytail and like a telltale, you arch your back, the satisfaction of being right sprawled across charles’s face.

“but of all, the one thing that makes me come back to this place again and again, is knowing that—“ he lifts your hips up, making you wrap your legs around him. “you’re mine.” the second he says that, its like all the dots connected in your head. you never thought charles would be jealous of the rumours, given how he was the one who didn’t want your relationship to be public. “charles, are you jealous?” you ask. “so what if i am?” “well, i for one wouldnt want my boyfriend to be feeling like that anymore” “what do you mean?” you pull out your phone from your clutch, “kiss me” “wait what are you doing?” “i said, kiss me” you say, pulling him in by his jaw. “im conf-“ you kiss him, shutting him up. as he closes his eyes he finds himself to not be able to help himself from drowning into you, well atleast until a flash brings him out of his trance. “im going to post it.” “you don’t have to, you know” “but i want to. i want everyone to know how much you mean to me charles. you’re my favourite person and i would hate to see you be jealous”

——

“i can’t believe you actually did it, jolie” “its the least i could do” you say, pecking his cheek. “but ive gotta say, i definitely wouldnt mind seeing this shade of you more often” “you haven’t seen the end of me yet, mon ange”

[apollodarling-writes]

HUNTING GAMES

cws : dubcon, somnophilia, creampie, levi leaves the game, murder, code-breaking, i went over the word limit a little bit, implied manipulation and threats, dating sim! levi, levi gets a bit ummm sadistic?? at the end, college! reader, im still not happy with it but its been so long since ive updated, if i missed anything please let me know.

commissioned by anonymous.

MDNI.

there was a new otome game that had been all the rage recently. characterized by its cutesy, college-life approach, lurking beneath each syrupy-sweet word and blossoming friendship was a sinister undertone. the objective of the game was to achieve the best possible ending for the route you choose, however each love interest was desperate for your love, making said objective increasingly unattainable the further the plot progressed. you’d downloaded the game when your friend had shown you one of their favorite love interests, finding yourself hooked on the stoic culinary arts major, levi ackerman.

levi ackerman was the first route you’d ever chosen. although, in the beginning, he wasn’t too keen on raising your intimacy level. while looking at forums online, you realized that was just how he was. levi was harder to please, and by far one of the most dangerous and volatile love interests in the game. he wasn’t afraid to annihilate any other character to get what he wanted, and knew how to cover his tracks. it was hard to tell when he was on the cusp of snapping, what he liked and disliked, and where he was when he wasn’t pestering you about something trivial.

once you finally manage to get your intimacy level up to the point where his obsessive tendencies begin to show, his personality does a 180… with you at least. he’s more affectionate, gives you gifts for your daily check in — most of it being food he’s cooked just for you, and you find that he’s easier to fluster, stumbling over his words and a faint blush spreading across the apples of his cheeks. levi is still the same when he interacts with npcs, maybe a bit more on the protective and stand-off ish side when youre around. with love interests, however, levi is more hostile than ever.

you’d failed levi’s route many, many times, and had finally just achieved the good ending when you’d stumbled across something regarding a secret route of his. naturally, you wanted to see it to completion, but for some reason it just kept going. growing tired of this secret route, you chose to switch to another love interest.

this love interest in particular was very sweet, docile almost. armin seemed harmless enough, and you found that you enjoyed this route more than you had levi’s. although, after a little while, you noticed some easter eggs hidden in the back that made you feel a bit uneasy. there was a silhouette in the background of each interaction, watching everything play out, as well as a few npcs that seemed to disappear or avoid you altogether. the more you played, the more uneasy and afraid armin looked.

you noticed that armin’s eyes were often glancing around, his sentences shorter when the silhouette was more prevalent, and on a few occasions, he’d outright ignored you. once, you’d found him beaten and bloody in an alleyway outside of the boy’s dormitories, appearing half-conscious and you’d chosen the option to patch him up. after that, your intimacy levels skyrocketed and he was back to normal.

just before the two of you exchanged a kiss during one of the date events, the screen glitched and suddenly armin laid in a pool of his own blood. armin’s face became pixelated, which was unusual for this game since it was known for its graphics. was this part of the game? your heart skipped a beat, gooseflesh rising on your arms as levi entered the place armin was just moments before.

levi’s appearance glitched in places, the blood spatter on his face seeming to drip and become more realistic. that… wasnt supposed to happen. did the game have a bug? you think you see levi’s brow twitch, his lips tugging into a frown, but you cant be sure.

“[name]… why did you leave me?” levi is uncharacteristically upset with you, his face scrunched with what seems to be a mixture of frustration and hurt. “i thought you loved me.”

you knit your brows, trying to exit the route; to your horror, youre unable to leave. levi grows increasingly upset the more you click the button, “why are you on his route? can’t you see that youre mine? we’re made for each other!” he shouts, his voicelines glitching in places.

“why can’t i leave the damn route?” you grit out, one hand gripping the hem of your shirt. “what the fuck is going on?”

levi’s face falls, a far away look in his eyes as you are finally able to exit armin’s route. you groan, leaning back in your chair as you thread a hand through your hair. “is this part of levi’s secret route?” you wonder aloud.

after that, you didn’t touch the game for days. you searched forum after forum, site after site, searching for answers. why did levi suddenly appear on armin’s route? surely, it was part of levi’s secret route… right? your gut told you otherwise, but a game character being sentient? that was something that only happened in fanfiction, and certainly not to you.

a week had come and gone before you even thought about touching the game. you were busy with work, college, and still hadn’t found the answers you were looking for. maybe you’d be able to find them in-game… but what if levi kills another love interest? what if they don’t come back when the game resets? what if —

shakily exhaling through your mouth, you release the tension in your shoulders, cracking your fingers as you hover over the next love interest’s route. she was a very bubbly love interest, her smile bright and contagious enough to have one of your own tugging at the corners of your lips as you right-click on hange’s route.

the two of you interacted quite well, your natural dialogue choices furthering your intimacy level. hange was known to be a relatively easy route — not much reading between the lines, or even guesswork. she was very upfront for the most part. you found yourself forgetting about your secret investigation, genuinely losing yourself to the interactions between yourself and hange.

you only started getting suspicious again once you noticed the silhouette in the background once more. hange seemed to notice too, but she was more composed than armin had been. you squint as the silhouette flickers, your pulse thrumming in your throat as you quickly stutter out, “levi, leave hange alone or i’ll never play your route again.”

the silhouette rushes to the screen, stumbling over its words and blubbering about how it just loves you so much and can’t live without you! the anonymity fades, leaving levi in its place, and you realize that levi was more dangerous than you’d initially thought. hange is quick to take her leave once she notices the look in levi’s eyes, and you attempt to as well. levi’s anger flares up once more at the sight of your cursor clicking the exit game button.

“[first name] [last name], stop trying to leave me. why don’t you want me anymore? you can’t make me love you and then leave. you’re so cruel.” levi’s digits grip his collar, tugging it away from his throat as if he couldn’t breathe. “i-i learned things about you, for you — i tried my best to be the man you wanted, so why are you choosing other people?! am i not enough?!”

a chill shoots down your spine, cold washing over your body as your stomach tightens. you tuck your fingers into your palm, beginning to feel as if you were glued to your seat. how did he know your last name? you don’t remember putting that information in at all… maybe it was from your email? maybe the developers had a third-party thing going on?

levi becomes more frantic the more he speaks, pleading and begging for you to love him again. “i was your first route! you put the most effort into me! you can’t just leave!!” you have a creeping feeling that he’s looking at you — unlike most games, levi seems to lack a blank stare, and instead seems entirely focused on you.

“there’s no way he’s sentient.” you mumble to yourself, pressing a quivering hand to the damp skin of your forehead. “i’m just…. im just tired and stressed. yeah… i should just go to bed.”

you stumble out of your chair, body on autopilot and mind reeling as you put your monitor in sleep mode and push your chair under your desk, trudging over to your bed in disbelief. you tuck yourself in, and just before you’re able to fall asleep, you hear levi speak.

“you look so cute when you’re sleeping…” you hear his shaky breaths — the utter glee in his tone, as if he were more than content just to watch you. dread and unease fill your stomach as you realize you can’t ignore this anymore.

you shoot up in your bed, chest heaving and eyes blown wide as your gaze snaps to your monitor. could he see you? could he hear you? were you going crazy?

you slowly make your way over to your monitor and pull up your game, levi dreamily staring back at you as if you’d hung the stars in the sky. “are… you sentient?” your voice wavers as you ask this, fingertips digging into the hard plastic of your desk.

levi stills, his idle animation unusually stiff. for a moment you wonder if you should check yourself into the nearest hospital, but then, “you finally noticed… oh, baby, that makes me so happy— i’ve been trying to get your attention for so long!”

it’s your turn to still, your body going rigid and exhaling shakily. oh, you were royally fucked. if he was sentient, could he leave the game? god, you hope not.

“i’ve been watching you for so long! i even learned about your parents and your siblings for you! i know your address, the names of your friends; i know your all favorites, i know that you have a dog named rufus, i know that you like to listen to music while you clean —“

levi drones on and on, going over everything he’s learned about you during the time he’s been watching you. your breathing grows heavy and erratic; sinking into a primal state of fight or flight, you hurriedly try to uninstall the game from your computer, but it seems levi had already anticipated this. the screen glitches, flashing white as levi appears in different places — duplicates, different routes, pictures of you, npcs that went missing, hastily written notes all dedicated to you.

deciding that deleting the game wouldn’t work, you opt to unplug your computer. the screen stills for a moment, going completely black before a variety of coding begins to type out on the screen.

“leave me alone!” you shout, your voice cracking as you rip your monitors and pc off of your desk, throwing them across your room. they bounce off your dresser, knocking a few trinkets and such off, sending them clattering to the ground. you notice the coding slows for a moment, eyeing the shattered hardware scattered across your bedroom floor. “you’re just a game!! i don’t actually love you!”

“you’re wrong!!” levi’s voice is distorted and distant — glitching out in some places, or manifesting as a multitude of voices, some higher, some lower in pitch. “you love me — you do! i know you do!”

you panic, the cortisol and adrenaline running through your veins clouding your sense of judgment as you rush to your kitchen and grab a trash bag, picking up a baseball bat from a closet on your way back to your room. you hastily throw your setup in the bag and grip the bat, swinging the metal bat back and smashing the contents of the bag until you feel safe and can’t hear the whirring of the code any longer. you stumble back onto the edge of your bed, staring at the bag as you strain your ears for any signs of levi. heaving a sigh, you wipe the sweat from your brow and gather all the miscellaneous pieces of your setup that were strewn across your floor, placing them in the bag.

you feel disconnected from your body as you bring the bag outside, opening your garbage can and tossing them in. a drop on your face shocks you out of your stupor, but you realize that it was only a drop of rain. your fingers tremble still, your breathing still erratic as you try to calm your racing heart. how was any of this even possible?

you slowly trudge back inside your home, entering your room and collapsing on your bed. this must be a bad dream. it has to be; there’s no way that this could happen. you lie awake for awhile, your mind spinning round and round again. thoughts come and go, never staying for too long, and you forget them immediately after they depart. the events of the night had worn you out, your eyes growing impossibly heavy, drifting off into a deep slumber.

outside, the monitor screen flickers to life. code rapidly pans down the screen, sparks flying as a hand slowly peels out. carefully, levi drags himself out of the game and into…. wait, why is he in a trash can? surely, his beloved wouldn’t…? with haste, levi tracks his way inside your home, brows furrowed with quiet rage. how could you just throw him away like that?

levi takes his sweet time cleaning up, lathering himself in your products and sniffing your towel before drying himself with it. he runs his fingers along the countertops, walls, and doorframes, trudging along to your room as he admires your home. it isn’t long before he finds you sleeping soundly atop your bed sheets. levi’s breath instantly catches in his throat, his heart racing in his chest as he approaches your slumbering form. you were even prettier in person.

carefully crawling onto your bed, the pads of his fingers tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, trailing down to your shoulders. his eyes wander to your exposed flesh before flickering back up to your lips. one kiss couldn’t hurt, right? carefully leaning down, levi molds his lips to yours; his heart nearly stops the moment he tastes you. one kiss isn’t enough. he needs more! levi unbuckles his belt and ties your hands to the headboard, then drags his hand along your chest, swallowing thickly as he feels his pants tighten.

levi quietly positions himself between your thighs, burying his head in your neck as he leisurely grinds his cock into you. biting his lip to muffle his whimpers, he lifts your shirt, baring your breasts to his greedy eyes. levi immediately latches onto one, his tongue swirling around the erect flesh as he works your pajama pants to the side.

“need to taste you, baby.” he murmurs. levi kneels between your thighs, his tongue slowly lapping at the arousal that had begun to leak from you. he takes but a moment to shimmy his pants down far enough to fist his cock, slowly pumping it with his free hand. the man softly groans into your folds, a sleepy whine parting your lips in response.

as he continues lapping at you, levi feels his stomach tighten and stops all movement. he waits for the feeling to subside, then aligns himself with your entrance. he shallowly thrusts into your cunt, slowly working his way inside and bottoming out with a broken whimper. levi’s mind spins at the way your walls grip him — the feeling almost as if he were made to fuck you, as if you were made to take him. his fingers grip your hips as he attempts to control himself, pressing both of your legs further out for easier access.

it isn’t long before levi loses himself in the feeling; it is his first time after all. his hips snap into yours, whimpering and whining through gritted teeth all the while, and you slowly begin to wake. levi’s eyes roll back as the feeling in his tummy snaps, not once stopping as he pumps you full of his cum.

you let out a confused moan, your eyes slowly adjusting to see levi’s fucked out face gazing down at you. “f—feels so good…” he whispers, slotting his lips to yours. you attempt to shimmy away, but it was to no avail; the asshole had tied you up. you attempt to fight him off, but it’s to no avail as he’s stronger than you and has shackled you to your bed.

waves of unwanted pleasure course through your body, forcing soft whimpers and whines from your lips as levi unknowingly rocks his hips into the places that have your eyes rolling back. gazing down at you with something akin to reverence, levi presses the pad of his thumb to your clit, slowly circling his name and bringing you closer to your climax.

“cmon, baby.” levi groans, feeling your walls tighten around his cock. “cum f’me.”

you simply shake your head in response, screwing your eyes shut and murmuring through a whimper, “go fuck yourself.”

levi only chuckles at your words, seemingly amused, and lifts your hips; the man slings an arm around your lower back, one hand gripping the meat on your hip, and forces you to meet his thrusts.

nothing seemed real at the moment. you were unable to stop levi from leaving the game, and now the man was taking advantage of you. you suppose the only good thing in this situation is that despite it all, levi was going to make you cum.

your back arches as your fingers dig into your palms, your cunt pulsing and fluttering as your eyes roll into the back of your head. a high-pitched whine erupts from your throat, levi smirking victoriously at the sight beneath him, and you relinquish control; melting into his hold, you wordlessly beg for more.

you didn’t know what would come after this, nor did you know how you were going to fight your way out of it. the only thing you knew is that this felt good. somewhere deep in your mind, you knew you didn’t want this, but had decided to relish in the feeling of being desired for the time being.

[crazylittlejester]

i see so much of Warriors with an eating disorder where he’s starving himself and wants to be thinner (for whatever reason, ive seen a lot of different ones), and like slay, love those headcanons, keep going crazy everyone, im obsessed with it /gen

but may I suggest:

Warriors who wants so desperately to not look as thin as he does. Warriors who because of all the attempts on his life has become so scared to eat anything but his safe foods that he can’t get enough food to prevent him from losing weight during the war. Warriors who wishes more than anything he could he as muscular and big as Twilight but who’s body won’t let him because he can’t gain the weight required for that no matter how hard he tries and no matter how much progress he makes. Warriors who LOVES food, and loves cooking for people he loves, but who sometimes is physically unable to eat anything but his safe foods because hes too afraid of being poisoned and he gets frustrated with himself for being unable to eat. Warriors who wishes he weren’t as thin, but there is literally nothing he can do about it. Warriors who is still strong, but who has a build similar to a ballet dancer’s and is all muscle and bones.

And Warriors who is slowly healing, slowly gaining weight (even if he doesn’t see it) who will one day look at himself in the mirror and genuinely smile, happy with how far he’s come

[mysterycitrus]

i know you've been talking about jason lately so i'll ask about smth different... robin jason (sorry)

idk idk lately i've been wanting to take a peek at his robin comics for the sake of writing fic (ofc...) but i'd like to hear what u think before that, a summary of sorts if u may (i also wanna contrast what u say with what i get out of it so yeah)

i feel like his robin days are so muddled by his identity as red hood later on, and even before that it was his death. u had people constantly blaming jason for dying in text (or else they'd have to admit bruce can make mistakes and everyone in dc is allergic to doing that) and painting him like someone reckless and violent (classist editorial u need to DIE), and then people in fanon painting him like a sweet fella who would do nothing wrong and as well as being bruce's Only Actual Son etc etc for the sake of making the situation around him all the more sadder (yeah yeah pathetic meow meow we've all seen it)

and i'm just curious bc i rlly wonder what the actual comics say about him, most likely something in the middle of this? exams are killing me but my god i'll come back to life after im done just to read jason robin's days... have a good day !!!

the difficulty with reading about jason as robin is that there are three primary periods that all differ fairly dramatically from each other — pre-crisis jason todd is a strawberry blond acrobat who’s almost adopted by dick grayson before becoming robin; post-crisis jason todd is a kid from crime alley who steals the wheels off the batmobile before becoming robin; and post-crisis, post-utrh jason todd is a very angry, very violent kid who becomes a cautionary tale after he gets himself killed (something he is often blamed for).

we can walk the line here. pre-crisis jason isn’t particularly relevant because so much of robin!jason’s stories depend on his reinvention after the reboot. all the crucial factors leading up to death in the family — growing up in the alley, both his mothers, his relationship with the robin mantle, his developing relationship with dick grayson, his slow schism from bruce, his relative isolation from other superheroes — are all crucial to who he is, especially after his death.

fanon about jason is annoying because there are valid criticisms that can be made about how he’s written with regressive, classist stereotypes, but as always it pivots way too far in one direction. jason wasn’t the “happy” or “angry” robin in the same way that dick wasn’t the happy or angry robin — they’re both characters that possess more than a single emotion. it’s true that jason was later written to be more explicitly violent (to contrast him with dick) but also like… they’re both pretty similar characters that differ in interesting ways. dick created robin to be a symbol of hope and joy. jason carried that on when he took up the mantle. they can both be angry at stuff without the world falling apart. it’s not that serious.

the dialogue about dick being a child soldier but jason being the true son makes me want to tear my hair out. jason became robin because bruce missed dick and was afraid of being alone. they’re both his gd kids. acting as though bruce wayne doesn’t love dick grayson so much that extra-dimensional beings can clock it is so fucking stupid. it once again ties into fanon’s obsession with each character only getting to be “one” thing. tim is smart, which means he’s the smartest. jason said robin made him magic, which means he’s happy all the time. dick chased after zucco in a grief spiral, which means he’s the violently angry one, with no other character traits. dick can’t have been nice to jason because he’s nice to tim, etc. seems a little silly, no?

i think i’ve only read jason’s brief run as robin once, though ive gone through a death in the family + a lonely place of dying a bunch of times, so ig my advice for reading him is to keep in mind the context in which he was created. dc comics was reeling from losing dick grayson as robin, and were really throwing anything at the wall to get something to stick. many, many negative tropes are baked into his introduction, and thanks to writers like jeph loeb and scott lobdell they have compounded over time. jason’s updated backstory is, with actual critical intent by the writer, a really good examination of how poverty and class will affect how someone views the world. his death was not his fault — and removing sheila haywood from that warehouse purposely makes his story less tragic. he was a good kid! and he was angry for a good reason. if jason had lived, i believe he would’ve carried on the robin tradition and left bruce behind once their differences became insurmountable.

[tarteeee]

ive recently been playing Detroit become human again just to feel something and it's just so happened to coincide with my obsession with one piece and my brain is going places. zosan places.

so perhaps...DBH zosan au? long post under the cut

Im imagining that Judge is some main engineer at CyberLife and created a line of prototype military androids. he starts off with Reiju, perfects the tech then in one fell swoop creates 1234ji. BUT, as per canon, Sanji is defective. Against all protocol and logic, Sanji has somehow had a caretaker (cooking, cleaning, babysitting) android program installed and it Just. Won't. Delete. It's Sora, Judge's wife and fellow engineer who hates that part of her work is going to be used to harm people rather than help them.

Judge can't fix whatever the hell's wrong with Sanji so he sends him to some local police station, figuring that it's way too expensive (and sort of illegal) to destroy property that's technically not his and the rest of his programming dedicated to stealth, reconnaissance, and data gathering could be put to use. 124ji gets instead shipped to do military work.

What neither Judge nor Sora know is that Sanji deviated, he'd deviated from the beginning. The program won't be deleted from his code because he doesn't let it. He wants to try helping people, He's relieved he's being sent away but really would rather just settle down with some family and at least get to try some of the things he knows how to do now. Cooking at least looks like fun...

At the police station he gets partnered up with Zoro, a gruff young upstart that has put away so many criminals people think he's some sort of demon. Zoro has his own beliefs on androids, doesn't like that despite the fact that they look human, they're cold and unfeeling. He can't shake off the fact that they're just machines after his childhood best friend fell down the stairs in the middle of the night and a glitch in their household androids code made it unable to alert emergency services despite the fact that she fell right in front of it. Nothing quite sparks a hatred for androids like knowing that a normal human would have immediately jumped in to help, no program necessary.

Needless to say he's not the happiest about being saddled with the android, and gets even more pissed off when it tries to tell him how bad his self-care habits are. Sanji doesn't actually care, its only programmed to. He's not human, it's even numbered for fuck's sake.

I imagine they'd have a lot of tension, with Sanji trying his hardest to both take care of the people around him but also not act too far out of what he's supposed to do because he doesn't want others to find out he's deviated. And he really doesn't understand Zoro, who despises any help or attempt to get closer from him but only barely manages to hide a smirk and stifle laughter when Sanji accidentally lets out some snide comment about an annoying coworker. In his mind palace, zen garden area, the person who meets him switches from Sora to Judge, depending on what issues are at the forefront of his task list and he gets along well with Robin, a crime analyst and her husband Franky, who works in the precincts' IT and tech department.

For the other androids obviously Luffy would take Markus' place, wanting to gain legal freedom and rights for androids. He's inspired from the freedom he saw in his previous owner, Shanks, and even got to have his straw hat after Shanks told him to run and chase his dreams. His revolution is backed by other androids he finds along the way. Koby, who wants to have a peaceful revolution and not be shunned by human society, Trafalgar Law, who urges him that humans won't listen to reason and that a bloody battle is inevitable. Usopp, despite being afraid of being deactivated follows Luffy and says that he trusts his judgement and knows that there are understanding humans out there, like his previous owner Kaya. Brook and Chopper join Luffy as well, they were androids who were a model skeleton and an animatronic made to have kids feel at ease at a doctors' office, respectively. The three of them are not water proof models ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Nami, I feel, would take Kara's place. She comes to at a CyberLife store and is taken home by Arlong who uses her for housekeeping. At Arlong's place she finds Vivi, a girlfriend that he's obviously abusing. She deviates the same night that she find him hitting Vivi. They run away together and the less that's said about the state they left Arlong in, the better. They try to take refuge at Crocodile's place but find out that he scraps down androids for parts and sells them. There they find Jinbei, a strong android whose model was originally made for carrying heavy loads at docks and stuff, and escape together. They later find out that Vivi was an android girlfriend that Arlong had bought a while ago.

[seeminglydark]

1. would caro and john be into the tv show, the x-files? would they buy tapes of the episodes and talk about their own conspiracies and guess about the outcomes of the episodes.

2. also your comic has help peak my interest for the supernatural and conspiracy theories. what are some stories or theories that you’ve learned about that you have found the most interesting? and were you a believer before starting your comics or has your interest grown as you’ve continued with your comics.

3.lastly, i’m trying to buy more secondhand items and become the diy punk that i’ve aspired to be since high school (too afraid since i was a closeted trans man and living with an unaccepting family), any tips?

i, like john, try to stay away from modern tech as much as i can. i’m able to stay off my phone for the most part and rarely use my computer but i’ve been looking around and audiobooks on cassette are kinda expensive around me so i like to narrate book as i read them in paperback. i was wondering if canonically john uses resources such as the library and what his favorite books and movies are. i love horror and am just now getting into sci-fi and i love watching movies on my vcr + tv combo and i sometimes use a blu-ray player for more rare or expensive (at least in vhs format) movies.

sorry for the long winded paragraph, i’m unfortunately unable to escape my strict household (despite being an adult) until i find a job and am able to save every cent. i also tend to isolate myself so i have no friends to help me out. sorry to vent to you about this but i just wanted to end this by saying your comic and characters inspire me and give me hope that i’ll be okay once i’m free.

YES. John is obsessed with x-files. every once in a while you can see he has the iconic 'i want to believe' poster in his younger years on his walls. He still has it as an adult. both caro and john like watching those together, they also enjoy the twilight zone, charmed, Buffy (they they agree the corny movie from '92 is the best) and those old Bruce Campbell shows noones heard of, re: Brisco County Jr. I think as kids they theorize, and as adults they talk about everything everyone gets wrong, now that they know how these things really work. John can always guess WhoDunnit.

Ive always been interested in the idea of the supernatural. im a big skeptic though, ill be honest there, even though ive had many 'experiences' myself. i kinda like the idea of the unbelievable. definitely making the comics has peaked my interest in things i wasn't too keenly aware of before, like cryptids. im fascinated by the concept of Missing 411, and missing people who reappear somewhere else, but Liminal Spaces hold my heart specifically. ive always been keenly aware of the off feeling in those places before i even knew what that meant. i love scouring the internet for images of things like abandoned hotels that give me a weird kind of uneasy, most of the things people tag as Liminal aren't really that, so its a scavenger hunt to find something that fits my idea of it. coming up with the lore of my stories has been an adventure. my interest has definitely grown, more in places and phenomenon than in ghosts specifically.

there are so mnay things you can do to diy punk stuff, in my opinion thats the best and most rewarding way. it sounds to me that you need to start small and slow for your safety, so let me reassure you right here anon, that punk is a set of ideals, and not just fashion. youre still punk no matter what youre wearing. a jacket or vest is always a good place to start, you can literally buy ANYTHING at the thift store that strikes your fancy. this is a canvas you will be adding too for as long as its yours. once you have your canvas, its time to create, and there is literally no wrong way to do this. you can use paint markers, embroidery, bleach, ect. dont have money for spikes and studs? you can use soda can tabs and bend them, metal lighter caps, hell even staples and safety pins always look cool. you can make your own badges by bending metal soda or beer caps around a soda tab with a safety pin through it and then paint whatever you want on the cap. dental floss is what you usually see when punks have the white stitching on their pants and jackets, its durable and doesn't break, since crust and gutter punks need tough clothes that last. if you're worried about your family, i would personalize it first in small secret ways that are just for you, such as a message beneath your collar as seen here on my friends jacket. and here, and here! he hides patches on the inside as well! Im including a pic of john hiding a patch on caros varsity jacket as well. i will post my jackets one day, my camera is broken but i figured id share his since he hides things more than i do!

John absolutely uses the library, its a fantastic resource for SO many things, depending on where you're located. He would also probably use a digital reader later, because many of them you can get library cards on and borrow books that way. he is not a strong reader so he mostly reads books that may be under his age level, like goosebumps, but who cares, do what you enjoy. movie wise hes very obsessed with cosmic horror (hence the UFO tattoo) his favorites are Alien, The Thing, Killer Klowns from Outer Space and the Blob from the 80s. both he and Caro love the original Evil Dead franchise, horror comedy like American Werewolf in London, lost boys, etc.

Thank you, Anon, for the long winded paragraph. You asked some really fun questions for me to answer, i love nothing more than to talk about my characters, it was a really nice little break from editing a new podcast episode. I am so so sorry about your situation, and i am sending you all the best and all the love and strength that you can come out of this free and on the other side and live as yourself. If my comics and characters stories can provide a tiny bit of hope that its going to be ok, than ive succeeded at what i set out to do. wishing you all the best. and look into your library, they may have resources to help you with this as well.

[gerardspuppy]

jim and tarsus iv

so. ahem. i actually have many more thoughts on this.

in his autobiography kirk says that tarsus was the reason he decided to join starfleet,, and also that as a kid he would obsessively follow the rules to the extent of throwing his best friend under the bus because of a singular mistake. like that’s a massively dick move. 

but it makes much more sense when you consider that he joined starfleet because of a massive trauma that stemmed from someone not following protocols, from thinking that they could do better and that their ideas were the universal right. yes he’s obsessed with the rulebook as a young adult because he’s seen what happens when people break those rules. i think it’s less so a direct ‘i might become Kodos’, and more like ‘i’ve seen the extreme damage this thing can do, and i’d do anything to prevent that’

then he gets his own command, a starship over which he essentially has total control, and that forces him to realize that command is really not as simple as he thought. that sometimes to save people you do have to break or bend the rules, and that things are never so black and white as he imagined. so he eventually becomes much more confident in his own judgement and decides to learn from the mistakes of others rather than being terrified of making the wrong choice. and bones (and spock too, although they were less close at the start of the five year mission) for sure helps him with this by trusting his judgement but also offering criticism when necessary. so by the time TOS starts we meet a Kirk who is much more confident in his personal judgement, and is also in a situation over which he has complete control rather being under the command of others.

that would also explain why he seems to treat Kodos with much more sympathy in the Conscience of the King that should be expected given everything. he’s grown as a person, and begun to more so understand what it’s like to be in a desperate situation with so many people relying on you, and even if Kodos was completely in the wrong, he can at least understand a little more now.

i think it also explains why he takes being grounded for the three years after the mission so hard and why he’s so obsessed with having his own command. first of all, im sure he has some discomfort with being permanently planetside, because if something happens (like a famine....) he’s essentially trapped. as well as that on the enterprise he 1. was in total control of the ship and 2. had his crew/friends there to constantly keep him in check. 

at a desk he has no control over his situation and has to do whatever a superior officer tells him, which might’ve been fine with younger rule-obsessed kirk, but post mission kirk is much more confident and experienced. he can tell when a decision is wrong, whereas his younger self may have not had the knowledge or self assuredness to be able to tell. but he has to respect his superior officers, so he’s trapped in a situation where he witnesses things that he disagrees with but can’t do much about it. i think at this moment he understands the adults and Kodos’ followers on Tarsus much better as well w.r.t. that feeling of being utterly powerless. and the lack of control really gets to him because if something bad happens like on Tarsus he can do essentially nothing about it. yes, starfleet has internal regulations and such to prevent people taking advantage of their power, but the effects of ptsd aren’t exactly logical. it’s just a deep fear he can’t shake through reasoning.

then secondly he’s completely alone. for five years he lived in close contact with his crew, and he always had people around him he could consult when he wasn’t sure, who weren’t afraid to call him out. so to now suddenly be the face of starfleet or whatever and to have everyone fawning over him, and essentially no one he can rely on for constructive criticism... not fun. not to mention that both spock and (to a lesser extent) bones leave him. i think that’s why he gravitates to lori cianna, because she was one of the few people who didn’t treat him like a celebrity. and he knows exactly what happens to someone when they’re worshipped by everyone and have no source of feedback, so on one hand he’s trying to gather some control over a situation where he feels very powerless, but on the other hand his sense of security in his own judgement is beginning to fray. enough to drive anyone insane. so he just kind of. loses his sense of self. because he knows what he needs but he also doesn’t trust himself to have it.

then comes TMP, and he treats Decker like shit, but he’s also desperate because the past 3 years have essentially reinforced all the age old Tarsus trauma and he’s so so lonely and uncertain. and this might be the one chance he has to finally feel like himself again. but ofc the effects of the past three years are bleeding through, so in TMP he second guesses himself much more than in the series, more like he would’ve been at the start of the first mission.

anyway i think Tarsus is criminally underexplored in the movies/series. It explains a lot of decisions he makes, that without context seem kinda asshole-ish, and it also explains why he’s so obsessed with the enterprise. that ship represents happiness to him. his posting as captain is the only time he’s ever felt in control and confident in a situation.

but yeah. if anyone has more thoughts on this id love to hear them.

[professional-sephiroth-scrungler]

I finally finished rebirth! Here is my unsolicited review cause i don’t want to melt my brother’s ear drums with my rambling

First off, Rebirth is a wonderful game. It’s not perfect by any means but it’s still great. The graphics are stunning, the soundtrack is absolutely amazing, and all the issues i had with story flow and confusion in the OG are basically fixed.

Story: I’ve got so much to say but thats mostly theories so i’ll keep it brief. I love where they are taking things. They’ve done a wonderful job of blending the OG story with the new stuff and the new directions its going. We arent really gonna full know whats happening until its all wrapped up but I am here for it!

Gameplay: its a good improvement on what they did for the first part. I however, have slow reflexes with the bumper and trigger buttons so they milliseconds they give you to block for immunity is not great for me. Dodging around is really fun though

Side quests/world intel: the side quests and world intel are hit or miss for me. Most of the stuff that doesn’t enhance the story, give lore, or deepen character relationships feels like a chore sometimes. Getting all the lifesprings, phenomenons, summon alters, and intel fights is repetitive and annoying sometimes but its easy to fall into the groove of if you have something playing in the background for the dull bits and running around the world to get to another story/side story beat.

Characters: Wonderful, amazing, exceptionally characterized. The nuances of the cast have been fleshed out a lot and it’s great. Even with their limited screen time, Vincent and Cid have so much substance and i am extremely excited to see where the story takes them. No, i am not ignoring one character in particular, what do you mean? None of the characters have made me seethe and mald at all and make me want to stop playing because of how annoying they are! And im definitely not afraid of the wrath my opinion of the character will bring if i say who! … Fuck it.

Yuffie: Yuffie definitely has more character than in OG and has sure been fleshed out since Intergrade… In the sense they took the happy go lucky, hyper, materia obsessed kid and multiplied it by 1000. It doesn’t help that she is also inserted into situations she 100% does not belong in. What could have been bonding moments for Aerith, Tifa, Barret, or Nanaki, what would’ve fit well in those situations, have Yuffie instead. And it seems her story is not until part 3 so why is she here so much? During tense or sad moments, she says stuff that ruins the vibe or is just irritating. Many time, she would say something during the story, and right after i would think that the moment would’ve been 10 times better if she was not inserting herself into it. Sometimes it feels like the writers are partially writing her as the main character when in the OG, she was an optional side character. Its not to say its all bad, she can have some funny moments. Except those where near when she just joins the party and the more those “silly moments” happen, the more grating they become. I hope that whenever her story arc happens in part 3 or a dlc (god i hope not a dlc the game is already $70), she has some growth and mellows back at least a bit. But who knows, maybe this is just a personal thing and she is actually a fine character. If you like her, thats fine. In the end, her character just isn’t for me and i just dont understand. These were just things that annoyed me personally and if you are fine or like how much more Yuffie there is in the remake trilogy, thats perfectly ok. Anyways

Expectations vs Reality: my only real gripe with the advertising is around Sephiroth and him being called a “protagonist” and supposedly us learning more about him in some english translations ive seen of interviews. I don’t quite understand where the protagonist thing came from. He is still very much the penultimate antagonist. But i expected to at least be able to read some in the manor about his childhood and play as him in combat a bit more. Maybe some TFS promo material got mixed up in my brain. If not, the best i can come up with from where the protagonist thing came from is that Sephiroth believes he is the protagonist, that he is doing the right thing, that he is the hero saving the planet and all other worlds through his twisted vision. And i guess through that, we have learned a lot about his motivations now and how he currently sees things. Not the backstory stuff i was hoping fore, but still really cool to see and analyze.

Over all, i would say Rebirth is an 8.5/10 for me. Some stuff dragged, was fluffed out a bit much in parts and such but over all a great game!

Actually, no. Sephiroth didn’t fast ball a materia at us in the basement. Maybe that will happen in Part 3. But that loss makes it a 0/10. RIP baseballiroth

[kaeyx]

is it okay if i become 🎀 anon if its not taken ? :] im the anon who suggested demon beastzai btw ive come back again 😋

but d!beastzai absolutely adores it when you pamper and spoil him with affection !!! but you can’t forget he is a demon and he is already greedy, so he’s gonna cling onto you even more now (not that you not being affectionate would change that, i think that would only increase it more) he WILL nuzzle his head and press his body weight against you, you have a new weighted blanket and it’s him no returns or refunds !! have fun trying to get up while cuddling, he refuses to let you go and if you simply MUST then he’s dragging his feet behind you. you have to understand though you just smell so good to him and you always make him feel warm, even if he is cold to the touch. it’s just too easy for him to get drunk off of you, he may be a devil but he worships every inch of your body like divine wine !! but that doesn’t mean he’s afraid to mark you up though with bites so don’t get too comfortable <3

also. i imagine d!beastzai to have a long forked tongue and dear god does he know how to use it. sex with him will always end up leaving you dizzy and dazed if not on the verge of knocking out from how tired you are. he takes his time studying your body and every reaction you make, i do believe he’s more of a giver than a receiver but he won’t complain at all if you try to make him feel good too, but seeing you squirm around and so vulnerable because of him already makes him dizzy… and the filthy dirty talk is always so good. he knows how to put that mouth to good use

and of course i know you love chuuya a lot so might i suggest d!beastchuu ? imagine the two tag teaming you, good fucking luck you are not leaving the room even if it is the next morning

D!Beastzai is so clingy you'd think he was a cat with separation anxiety. He digs his claws in and refuses to get off you, doesn't matter if you want to or not, doesn't matter if you have to be somewhere now. He wants attention and he's going to get it immediately!! He's obsessed with how you look and how much smaller you are, how he towers over you (even if he does that with everyone else, it feels special when it's you). He loves how you smell and how your little body feels in his hands, so soft and squishy, full of brittle bones he could snap like toothpicks. You have no fangs, no horns, no talons or scales, how have you managed to survive this long? Dazai needs to protect you, to stick by you at all times. You're just so cute and grabbable, how can you know someone won't snatch you up from under his nose?

I absolutely agree with you, d!Beastzai has a long, forked tongue like a snake and he uses it liberally. Often he just licks your cheek and neck because he likes to taste your sweat, he's a bit weird like that. He likes the smell of your shampoo but there's something inimitable about your natural smell that he can't get enough of. He loves licking the inside of your mouth when he kisses you, one of his hands fastened delicately around your neck to make sure you don't go anywhere. And he loves licking you randomly during sex, especially when it makes you jump. He eats you out like a man (demon?) starved, wriggling his long tongue far enough into your cunt that he can prod your cervix. He also likes teasing your folds and wrapping it around your clit, brushing his fangs against your skin to feel you buck your hips into his face.

I've already mentioned I'd like to model his demonic features after a goat using more traditional satanic imagery, and I think this can handily extend to his dick! It's obviously proportional to him so far too large for any human to take, not that it stops Dazai from trying to fit fully inside you anyway. His cock sits inside a sheath most of the time and it's very long, with a tapered end that he loves to nestle against the opening of your cervix because it makes you yelp in pain. Yeah, he's mean. Dazai gets way too excited when he fucks you and "forgets" you don't have a demon's stamina, so you always end up railed into a boneless heap and slumped against him, eyes rolled back. And he loves it, he can't get enough of your pretty, fucked out face knowing he's the one responsible.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

no trigger warnings.

opinions?

I always am scared of lying or being a liar. like idk why or if it's apart of my possible undiagnosed ocd I might have. or if it's bc ive been called a liar my whole life. but I get excessively afraid of lying. like im gonna do it every time I open my mouth. I double check and self reflect on everything I say or post online and make clear distinctions between facts and what I assume. is there a reason or explanation why id be so scared of this? I self reflect a lot bc im terrified im lying to myself about my trauma and im scared im falsely accusing people and I hate it bc I really try to reflect on the memories or situations to see what really happened. I just don't know why it bothers me I try not to obsess anymore I try to calm my mind its hard.

can I ever know if I was abused or the abuser?

Hi anon,

I'm sorry about what you've been going through. It can be exhausting to constantly question yourself or go the extra length to distinguish assumptions you make from objective facts (people blur these lines often and it doesn't make them any less credible). Often, people who feel the way that you do have endured some level of gaslighting to where they are made to feel that they are lying when they aren't, but over time they start to internalize that rhetoric to the point that they become obsessed or constantly preoccupied with telling the truth. Please know that you're not alone in experiencing this. It's something I'm still trying to work through.

It's hard because people say that abusers avoid accountability, which is often true, but that can also create paranoia for survivors who are made to feel that they were the abuser because it prompts them to question if they are avoiding accountability. But I think it's important to remember that abusers typically aren't self-conscious of whether or not they're telling the truth - they don't care. But you do.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could help you process these experiences and develop some healthy coping mechanisms that you can take with you along your healing journey. I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[moedemon4ever]

TOMOKO KUROKI

I DREW TOMOKO!!! Ive been really obsessed w her lately !!! im afraid i didnt do justice to her sleep deprived and tired aura here though :<

rambles below :3

tldr: i kin her

i watched the show quite a while ago but i started reading the manga about a week ago! im already on chapter 67 and i am loving it sm!!!

its not too different from the anime, i think the anime shows the start of the story super well!! if not even better than the actual manga! after you get past the stuff that got animated though it gets even more awesome!!!

sooo i sort of wanted to talk about her a bit n some stuff we have in common!

she came close to becoming a shut-in - this has actually happened to me several times now. most noticeably over the pandemic and this summer break. life has been a lot and i wont go into details about it here, but everything lead to me not wanting to leave my house. if it wasnt for my best friend (and for Tomoko - Yuu-chan) i would have definetely gone through with it!

her social anxiety - she has huge issues with talking to people, im the same, i only really get comfortable around people once ive known them for a while so i can relate. :<

intrusive thoughts - Tomoko gets intrusive thoughts about either sexually harassing her friends or hurting others and while id never act upon any of these thoughts i understand that she has and i dont relate to that side of her, but i do relate to having those sort of thoughts. they dont make you a bad person.

andddd theres TONS more!!! but i think this will be it for now since i already have more fanart of her in the works :>

see you!!! i hope you enjoyed the odd and incohearant rambles of someone whos really into this series :3

[mountainhaunt]

top 10 bands/artists let's goooo. i was tagged by @findusinaweek (bless you) so here's a loosely ordered list.

1) Hoppipolla. i could, can and have written literally a 2k+ word review on Hoppipolla's second album that turned more into a love poem from me than anything. y'all really don't want me doing this here.

B U T suffice it to say this timy little korean indie melancholia quartet has touched my soul in ways nothing else has. a few of their songs mean more to me than most things in this world do.

also!! world renowned cellist!!! hong jinho!! in the group!! seriously gorgeous, poignant magic these four create together.

the best/worst part is they dropped into the world, released two 10/10 heart stopping albums and then vanished again as if it were nothing.

2) Radiohead. i heard 'in rainbows' for the first time when i was 15 and it's what started me down the road of truly loving music and not just listening to it. radiohead is my baby and were my number one until hoppipolla came along a few years ago. ive been lucky enough to see them twice in concert and both experiences changed my dna i swear.

3) the Mountain Goats. the goats are like placebo in that i couldn't listen to them for a long time because of His Voice and i know that's like a trope at this point.

that was back in high school. now, john darnielle is hands down my favorite songwriter of all time and i unironically love his voice. no one writes lyrics and tells a story like he can and i constantly find myself turning to their music.

4) The Postal Service. death cab for cutie? eh, not bad, but can take or leave. ben gibbard + dntel? masterpiece.

their one and only album, give up, is my number one favorite album of all time and as much as i love it/them, i am SO glad they didn't release another. nothing could compare. anything that tried would only cheapen the debut album.

5) Hozier. i want to lay in the moss and cry and fall in love with a sweet lil cottagecore girl and i get to do that every time i listen to a hozier song

6) My Chemical Romance. my first loves. i was OBSESSED as a teen when they debuted and will still defend their honor today. although suddenly they've become really popular and not something for middle school bullies to pick on me for, so... defense unnecessary.

7) Margot & the Nuclear So and So's. they are so dreary and melancholy and nostalgic and gorgeous. i came across them by accident in high school because i was obsessed with the name margot, saw their name somewhere and immediately went home to totally not pirate them and see what they were about. "my baby (shoots her mouth off)" is one of the songs i send people when i talk about having bipolar, lol. the other being "lovecraft in brooklyn" by the goats.

they just evoke a special kind of feeling that is hard to replicate, and it transports me somewhere when i listen.

8) Erasure. i didn't know they even existed until i moved in with my partner and now i feel like every older queer ive ever met over the course of my life who didn't introduce me to them failed me, honestly

9) Modest Mouse. 'the moon and antarctica' came into my life around the same time 'in rainbows' did and also furthered my realization that music was to be experienced and not just heard. i never get tired of them (except strangers to ourselves. i listened to that album 3/4 of the way through one time and never touched it again sorry)

10) Rammstein. i love the drama!! i love the ferocity!! i love the taboo!! and they are also the reason i studied german so they deserve a spot here.

i'm still getting this account off the ground and haven't really chatted with many of you so im afraid to tag anyone lmao but obviously feel free to do this if you see it

[mossmotif]

Thoughts of a throuple with meimei and nanami?

anon. oh my goodness. i have so many thoughts!! so many that it's like eurhg eurhg urhg (taking damage) im afraid i may answer this incoherently

ironically im working on two seperate fics for mei mei and nanami but i havent begun one where they're both involved with reader :oo

obviously i think it would be pretty intense from the start...but right now ive been a little obsessed with a vamp au involving them...them both being vamps that take reader under their wing ugh wowza (something reversed would be really cool too i think, maybe nanami and mei mei competing to get to know more about/research vamp!reader and then drama ensues)

but yeah! i like the forced proximity of it, because im sorta imagining the very small amount of vamp people out there getting lonely ya know? so it's bound nanami and mei mei meet (and have certain relations...),,,,but they gen kind of hate each other (their morals are so opposite that they overlap a lot also if that makes sense) and then they. both fall in love with the same human?!?!?! THE DRAMA im driving myself kind of crazy just thinking of it

i think they send each other very hateful but also weirdly emotionally charged letters lmao. like they're passionate enough for some eyebrows to be raised (mei mei very often will specifically sign her name in his letters with a bit of your blood and nanami knows it's yours without even needing to open the envelope first. it enrages him every time. but also like,,,he's a little into it,,,the same way mei is a little into the way nanami dolls you up before youre sent off to go see her)

idk this isn't very fleshed out because mei's character is still something i'm trying to capture and nanami as a vamp becomes so interesting because of the added on entrapment of his life potentially straining his personality even more! but overall, i think it's sort of difficult (in this specific au) to not feel comfortable between the two of them. despite their complicated hatred between each other and intense courting rituals they both have reliabilities that are physical and emotional and so so very hard to ignore