#but if you were only reading the comic id imagine this still leaves a lot to be desired

[oswaldthehero]

As great as this is, the game version is still better

[starlight-bread-blog]

Katara made it very clear that she never ever wants to see Yon Rah again and most of the Zutara fandom supports that decision of hers.

So I guess the possible downside of Katara choosing to marry Zuko means sharing Zuko's burden of reforming and rehabilitating depraved war criminals like Yon Rha and all those who are even worse than him.

Then there's this whole thing with Aaron Ehasz imagining Zuko being Azula's Iroh and she reforms in that way along with my and a few other's ideas of Aang showing her how open and master her own chakras. Speaking of Iroh, does anyone remember his ruthless and brutal 600-day siege anymore? There's no way he'd avoid dropping bodies that whole time.

Looks like Katara will ironically be taking Aang's advice about forgiveness after all but I don't think it'll be necessary for Katara to look for Yon Rah again and say so.

What do you think?

Tw: War crimes, genocide and nazism.

Disclaimer: I don't know what actually happened post canon. I tried to look on internet forums and it seems as the topic wasn't addressed in the comics. For this answer, I'm going under this assumption.

Sorry for not getting to this sooner, life got busy and I didn't want to give some half assed answer to such a delicate topic. There's a lot to comment on so I'll break this down step by step.

"Katara choosing to marry Zuko means sharing Zuko's burden of reforming and rehabilitating depraved war criminals"...

The fire nation commited atrocious war crimes, leaving them with with many war criminals. War crimes are more than punishable. If it were real life, neither Katara or Zuko would have to reform and rehabilitate any of them.

An example of this would be the Nuremberg trials after WW2. Even recently, in 2022, Irmgard Furchner (an 98 year old women) faced a trial for being a secretary of a concentration camp (to put it lightly, she was very much a murderer). No one is getting away with their actions.

I read the relevant section from a Red Cross's document titled "Analysis of the punishments applicable to international crimes (war crimes, crimes against humanity and genocide) in domestic law and practice". (The section being "States’ obligations under IHL to prosecute and punish international crimes").

I found something interesting. (ID in alt text).

*Grave breaches are more serious, vile violations of humananitarian law. Everything above applies to "genocide and crimes against humanity".

If Katara were in a position of power in the Fire Nation, not only would she not have to reform anyone, she also might get to help with the trials for them.

"Then there's this whole thing with Aaron Ehasz imagining Zuko being Azula's Iroh"

I don't know about his plans for Aang's other ideas, so I can't comment on them. What I did find was a short thread of his. And after reading it, I maintain that – like most ideas – his vision can work with sensitive execution.

Azula was still very much a 14 year old victim of grooming when the series took place. Her brother can help her through her redemption under one condition – the desire to be better should come from her.

He shouldn't sit through any mistreatment whatsoever. He'll guide her through a path he already went through, but she has to walk with him. Azula needs to be safe for Zuko. Only then, redemption would be possible.

"does anyone remember [Iroh's] ruthless and brutal 600-day siege anymore?"

The difference between Iroh and Yon Rah is what they're up to now. In the present Yon Rah is just some guy living with his mother. Meanwhile Iroh took back Ba Sing Se from Fire Nation colonizers.

Yon Rah isn't out here fixing his mistakes, he just got off scot-free. On the other hand, Iroh is a changed man and took action to correct his past on the same scale.

At the end of the day redemtion isn't Aang's idea. It's one of the major themes of Atla. It wants to show that people can change and grow. So it does. Zuko changes, Mai changes, Ty Lee changes, and Iroh is their future.

He tried to conquer Ba Sing Se, and now he took it back from conquerors. He was the worst of them all, and now he's unrecognizable. He's warm, wise and sweet. There's a meaning to it.

That doesn't mean that war criminals in the current day, scums who made no affort, will get away with their crimes. That doesn't mean Katara would have to go through the mental torture of reforming her colonizers.

That is it! I hope I didn't come off as aggressive, I didn't mean to. Thank you for the ask, sorry for taking me forever to write this, and have a lovely day!

[fagdykevash]

Hello! Sorry to bother you, but you are the only blog I know who makes IDs outside of their own stuff so I figured you were the best person to ask. Do you have by any chance ressources to learn how to make and practice them? I want to start using them but I'm not a native speaker and I'm kinda struggling ^^'

Thank you and have a nice day!

oh ofc!! if u want, i have some good posts in the #image descriptions tag on my blog, but i'll link some stuff here too :D

Why and how, basics

Quick tips and tricks

Describing comics

Describing videos

Image Description Guidelines

and a couple of my own tips !!

a great rule of thumb is, "the more time someone would look at an image, the longer + more detailed the description should be". This means, if it's a little doodle or a meme, u don't have to spend hoursss describing every little thing (ie, the clothes ppl are wearing, the lighting, that typa thing -- unlessss it's like,, part of the joke/meme. does that make sense ?) this post by mothfishing [hyperlinked] explains it SO much better than i ever could

on that note, a short/""bad"" id is always better than none at all!! don't worry too much abt the quality, or else you'll get stuck in a loop of fixing and editing and the description will never be published (or is that just me lol)

an absolute lifesaver for me was using a text-to-speech/screen reader to read my descriptions back to me ! especially if it were a longer piece, i would write an id, turn on the screenreader + close my eyes, then see if i missed anything important + if i needed to rephrase anything.

for practicing:

if you see an image w/ a description, try to write one yourself for that image. then just check between those ! it's bound to be different, but how? try to figure out which fits the image better, then adapt !

whenever i'm bored/have nothing to do, i try to describe things in the room. this is mostly just a fun little game to keep my brain busy, but it's also helpful in building skills !

if i can, i like to read out my description to a friend/family member if they're around. i ask them to imagine what i describe, then i show them the image to see if it matches. getting other people's input is always v v helpful... and speaking of....

the people's accessibility discord server!!!!!! i cannot emphasize enough how cool and nice everyone is there !!!!! u can ask for help describing something, ask ppl to double check ur work, or just send an image for ppl to describe!! literally everyone there is just so wonderful and helpful :3 here's an invite link!

little things that i learned:

the screenreader on my phone reads quotes without pause. so it would read "a sentence just like this" as if the quotes weren't there. so i picked up the habit of putting a comma before the quote to break the sentence up. so saying "this" sounds much more different then saying, "this".

(desktop only i think) it's much better for a screen reader to read line breaks (holding shift and enter) than just paragraph breaks (just enter). with paragraph breaks, the person using the screen reader would have to tap on each new paragraph to read it, which can be a hassle. with line breaks, the screen reader just reads the next bit automatically, but the ID is still visually broken up.

save stuff to ur drafts to look over later !

for text-heavy images, use a OCR/image-to-text extractor. just put the image in and copy the text it spits out, maybe looking over it to make sure there aren't any mistakes. this definitely removes a lot of the burden of copying text painstakingly by hand yk

i'm sure there must be more i'm forgetting, so if any of my followers want to leave any more tips in the notes i'd greatly appreciate it :D

[cantdance]

10 fandoms 10 characters tag game

rules: name 10 of your favorite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people (i wont do that)

tagged by @lolotr almost a month ago. it took me a while to get to this, half because i kept forgetting and half because i legitimately struggled to come up with ten different fandoms i can claim to be in, but whos going to pass up a chance to rave about their blorbos

Final Fantasy XIV Online (FFXIV) - i love so many of the characters from this game. its not hard, the game is designed to make you love them. they feel like real people, especially in the last two expansions which emphasized their relationships with each other and with the wol (aka the player character). its difficult to choose one favorite but if i have to id say its gotta be alisaie leveilleur. despite not being relevant to the main story until the second expansion, her character is so rich and compelling. shes just a girl who wants to understand why her beloved grandpa left her to save a bunch of strangers, and she also wants to find out who she is and become her own person out of her familys (and especially her brothers) shadow. she also likes violence and explosions and how can you not enjoy that in a girl. unlike a lot of people who like alisaie, i also love alphinaud, and i love the way they interact. alisaie is my preferred twin but only by a slim margin. you can blame the backwards ass way i played this game for the fact that i love alphinaud even in 2.0

Marvel Comics - obviously its loki laufeyson! name a bitch more iconic. canonically genderfluid since 2014. your doomed by the narrative fave. raised by a father and a society that hated them for who they were, forced into the role of a villain to juxtapose their brother who was the only person to ever believe they could be more, at least until he didnt. killed and ate and burned themselves over and over to become something new. literally broke free from the narrative to become their best self but still a morally dubious shithead trickster in any (well written) form. my absolute blorbo of all time, dm me for a reading list

Norse Mythology - loki laufeyson again lolol. name. a bitch. more. iconic. canonically genderfluid since the viking age. born from a forest fire after lightning struck a tree. canonically hot but in a fucked up and dangerous way. odin was like "whos this hot weirdo" and decided they were brothers. your ultimate doomed by the narrative baddie. prophesied to end the universe. the god of fucking around and finding out. there are so few verifiable facts about this bitch, he is a complete enigma even among the rest of norse mythology which is already so fractured and weird. we straight up dont know how, why, or even IF he was actually worshipped. hes the only god to not have a single village dedicated to him. there are, like, two or three runestones depicting him. snorri made him into a jesus figure in the eddas but he serves so much cunt that he is repeatedly misinterpreted as literal satan. your fave could never.

LegendLark/Dames and Dragons - this is another difficult one because the characters are all so great, but im giving it to laika because i have a funny story about it. my first listen through i was in the middle of the gray manacle arc when i started asking myself who my favorite was. i decided it was laika literally the episode before she leaves 🥹

Dungeons and Daddies - i feel like my favorite should be scary, as someone who was once a goth/emo teen girl. however im gonna have to give it to my boi normally lee oak-swallows-garcia, the perky peppy chipper cheery mixed up mascot who doesnt know who he is anymore. imagine knowing your parents are disappointed with you at like, 14. imagine inheriting a generational curse except its a literal eldritch curse that you cant do anything about. imagine connecting with the mind of an incomprehensible eldritch being that is killing your reality out of loneliness and fear and hatred and deciding to show kindness.

The Locked Tomb - probably an obvious pick but its gotta be gideon nav. shes your butch sword lesbian. shes your jock trapped in a science convention. shes your tragic unloved child. shes your doomed by the narrative/came back wrong double threat. shes everything to me.

Paranatural - im not actually current, unfortunately. ever since zack changed formats ive found it difficult to read. i understand why they decided to do it the new way, but my attention span is simply not long enough. eventually i will catch up probably maybe. that said, my favorite is of course max. i just love how sassy and exasperated he is. he literally didnt ask for any of this shit. like he just moved to a new town where he doesnt know anyone and suddenly theres ghosts and he has to join an organization to fight them and his bat has a monster inside of it and he almost gets run over by a train, how fucking exhausted must this kid be all the time

Hunter X Hunter - its the only anime on the list baybee. i thought about including others but none are super current and hxh is the one that i still feel strongly about. my fave from hxh is the one, the only, killua zoldyck. my son. my angel. my precious catboy murder child. a boy who was tortured by his own family and trained to not care about other people and who was so lonely he latched onto the first boy his age that hed ever met. he is so full of love and he would do anything for his best friend, including kill people, but to be fair he would also kill people for literally any other reason

The Wheel of Time - my most recent experience with wot was rereading the eye of the world in preparation for the amazon show, which was a huge letdown for me and a lot of fans of the books. my last experience with it before that was when i was, like, 12. as a kid my favorite character was egwene, and now my favorite is...still egwene. she is a strong, confident young woman who knows what she wants and doesnt shy away from going after it. shes very strong-willed and doesnt bend to the will of others, she is unrepentantly herself. she also reads very heavily as a lesbian despite being in a (rather annoying imo) het romance with the mc. i dont think this was intentional (given the aforementioned het romance) so i wouldnt call it coding but like. shes a young adult who eschews traditional female roles and aspires to be unmarried and spend her time with other women how ELSE am i supposed to read that

Homestuck - very much NOT a current fandom, but it defined a great deal of my life, so i feel like it should be included. my favorite for this one may be the most difficult to predict, or maybe not idk, but its kanaya maryam. i remember the first time i was reading, waiting for my patron troll to pop up, and it was her. at first i paid attention to her just for that, but i fell in love with her pretty fast. i have a thing for female characters who go through arcs of self discovery and learning to value themselves outside of the opinions of others. something about starting out thinking youre a prop for other people and ending as a whole ass person is so *chefs kiss* also shes sassy and wields a chainsaw which is badass. i personally think her arc fell flat and she was underutilized in the end, but shes hardly the only one that got overlooked tbfh

im not tagging anyone mostly because i have no idea who i would tag. if youre reading this and want to do it, please do!

[imagine-loki]

Gifted

Title: Gifted (Sequel to Giftless)

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 46/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: 

Imagine that you are Stark’s niece and you secretly share a strong relationship with Loki since he entered the crew. One day you get hurt so bad during a mission that you are about to die.  Loki knows a spell that will save you and share his immortality with you but you and he will be linked forever sharing thoughts, pain, emotions…

RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS:  Also on AO3 click here

“Have you ever been on an airplane?” you asked Loki a few weeks later as you were packing for our trip to Hollywood.

“No. I have not. Why are we not just making a portal?” he asked. Again.  He really wasn’t pleased with the idea of flying instead of portaling.  

“Because we’re traveling as humans,” you reminded him. Again. “We’re going to a human movie premiere and we’re trying not to draw extra attention to ourselves.” That was impossible, given who you were, but you were still trying.  

"I still don’t like that you’re going at all,” Tony announced from the doorway to your suite. 

You rolled your eyes. “Uncle Tony, this is, like, the least dangerous thing we’ve done in ages,“ you reminded him.  You were doing something normal and human for Odin’s sake. "And we’re only traveling across the country, not to another realm, which is where we usually go,”

Tony sighed. “I hate when you’re reasonable,” he grumbled. You stuck your tongue out at him. “Fury wants to see you two before you leave,” he added, which just made things worse.  Nothing good came out of going to Fury’s office.

"But we didn’t do anything!” you complained. You hated getting called to Fury’s office.

“Yeah, right,” Tony replied with a laugh. 

You checked your phone for the time and zipped your bag. “We’d better get down there and see what he wants,” you told Loki as you slung the bag over your shoulder.  You weren’t at all surprised when Loki took it from you, carrying both of your bags. You hadn’t had to pack much, so you didn’t complain when he was just trying to be courteous. Tom said you would be supplied with outfits for the actual premiere, so you hadn’t had to pack much in the way of clothes. It was mostly all reading material for the flight. You’d even packed a couple books in Asgardian, because you got annoyed by stupid reporters always asking what you were reading, or sneaking pictures of the covers to end up in tabloids.  That couldn’t happen with Asgardian books.

Loki set your bags by the door and you made your way to Fury’s office to see what he wanted. At least he was usually brief about whatever he wanted to discuss. Loki let you take the lead, since Fury liked you better. He and Loki never saw eye to eye.  Especially after Fury had Loki tortured.  

You knocked on Fury’s office door. “Enter,” came Fury’s voice from inside almost immediately. 

You opened the door and stepped in with Loki at your heels. “You asked to see us?” you asked him pleasantly, drawing from the innocent little girl act you had perfected over the years of living in the tower.  It usually got you out of the worst of the trouble you landed yourself in.  

“Drop the act, Kat. You’re not in trouble. If you are, I haven’t found out about it yet and don’t want to know,” Fury told you firmly. you laughed and took a seat in front of his desk.

“This will be brief,” Fury started. you smirked. “I just wanted to remind you two that we do not have jurisdiction in Hollywood, at least not primary jurisdiction. So no heroics, no healing, no magic stronger than that weird clothes-changing spell you two love so much, while you’re there unless the Protectors team specifically and directly asks for your help.  We don’t want to get the Avengers involved and trumping their team,” there were different superhero teams spread throughout the world.  Since the Avengers were the first, you had jurisdiction to outrank any of the other teams, but it was bad form to do so, unless specifically asked to help.  “Their leader goes by Wrath. Here’s his number,” he handed the business card to you, which you prompted vanished into your purse. “Call him when your flight lands. He shouldn’t ask for anything from you, but you have to check in. Don’t argue, Kat. It’s protocol anytime supers on the team travel outside our true jurisdiction, especially supers as strong and famous as you two,”

“Fine, I’ll call him,” you grumbled. “And I’ll be nice,” you added when Fury just glared at you.  He didn’t trust you to behave when you were in the tower, he trusted you to behave even less when you were out of sight. 

“Good. Make sure you let Tony know when you land,”

“Fury, you almost sound like you care,” you teased as you stood again.

“I do care, kid. Just don’t tell the others,” Fury replied with a teasing smirk.  

"Your secret is safe with me,” you took Loki’s hand and you left the office together. After a goodbye to Tony and Pepper and promises that you’d be perfectly fine during a weekend trip where you didn’t even leave the country, you finally got to leave for the airport. You drove since Loki didn’t know where you were going or how airports worked.

“Why did you give money to that man?” Loki asked when the parking lot shuttle dropped you off at the actual airport.

“It’s what you do, like tipping the waitstaff in a restaurant,” you explained as you waited in line at the check-in. You checked our bags, though you kept your purse and the bag full of books that was your carry-on.

“They are taking our bags?” Loki asked, concerned.  He didn’t like his things being out of his sight, especially when he could have just vanished them.  You nodded and apologized to the nice check-in lady, explaining quickly that Loki wasn’t from around here.

“Yes, the bags go in storage on the plane. We’ll pick them up again when we land. C'mon, we have to go through security,” you told him. You grabbed his hand and led him to security. “You need your ID, get the Avengers’ one out too,” you told him as you reached into your purse to grab both of yours. You had been issued ID cards by the Avengers saying that you worked for them.  It sped things up in situations like this. 

“Why is this necessary?” Loki asked as he got his IDs out of his wallet.

“Bad guys used planes to attack the country, so they upped security. It won’t be that bad, I promise,” you reassured him.  You flashed a smile to the security guard at the entrance to the priority line as you handed him our tickets and your IDs.

“Good morning, Miss Stark,” he greeted you pleasantly. "Do you have any official duty items you are traveling with that you need to declare?” he asked. You took off your enchanted dagger sheath and handed it to him.

“Just this.” The dagger sheath couldn’t leave your possession. If it got too far away it teleported back to you.

“An empty dagger sheath? I think that’s ok,” the guard told you with a smile and a wink. Everyone knew about your daggers, but since you were one of the good guys, he would let you get away with bringing it on the plane. Especially since you couldn’t be parted with it.  You nodded and took it back from him. You took Loki’s IDs from him and handed them to the guard.

“He doesn’t have anything to declare. It’s his first time flying,” you added when the guard was confused on why Loki wasn’t speaking up for himself. Loki was out of his element here and letting you take the lead.

“Go on through the line,” he told you, marking off on your tickets that you had shown him your IDs. You handed Loki’s IDs back to him.

“You can put these away now, love. I promise this will be over soon,” you took his hand and noticed that he was holding yours too tightly. He was nervous and overwhelmed by Midgardian customs he didn’t understand. You ran your thumb over the soulbond marks on the back of his hand, soothing him. He gave you a small smile. Since you had priority status, you made it directly to the metal detectors quickly. You threw your carry-on on the belt and threw your shoes and purse in one of the tubs, as well as your dagger sheath and phone. You took a moment to explain the process to Loki and was just glad you made it through security without additional screening. You don’t think that would have gone well. The second you were through security, you started to put your hat back on your head, but it was too late. People had already seen your comic-book red hair, which was even more distinctive now with its raven streak. You just tied your hair back out of your way instead of bothering with the hat.

“I told you that would not work,” Loki laughed at you as he finished putting his shoes back on.

“I know, but it was worth a try,” you grumbled. You vanished the hat back to your suite at home. If it wasn’t going to help, there was no need of traveling with it. You checked the tickets and the sign on the wall with all of the flight information. “This way,” you told him, grabbing his hand so he wouldn’t get lost. You made your way through the huge airport to where your plane would be taking off from. After a quick stop for coffee, you settled in chairs with books to wait for boarding to begin. Things were fine until a woman nearby began playing the latest Avengers movie on her laptop for her kids to keep them entertained and quiet. “On no,” you murmured and tried to hide your face behind your book. It didn’t help, especially sitting next to Loki.

The kids noticed first. “Mom! I think that’s Loki and Sigyn,” one of them announced. You sighed. You were doomed. You saw Loki’s smirk, but besides that he didn’t move from reading his book. A few minutes later you were swamped for autographs. It took the flight crew calling for priority, first class, and military passengers to board for you to be saved. You excused ourselves. Loki grabbed the bag full of books for you and you headed to the line to get on the plane. You stood back to let the military people go first. Then you took care of handing our tickets to the nice lady at the gate so Loki didn’t have to. Your seats weren’t hard to find. You were in first class. You let Loki have the window seat so he could watch the flight. The bag of books went under the seat in front of you.

Loki clutched your hand when the plane was taking off. “What’s wrong?” you asked him, switching to Asgardian, so you wouldn’t be overheard.

“The last time I flew was under Thor’s power… it is disconcerting,” he finally answered in the same language.

“We’ll be fine, love. Even if the plane were to go down, which it won’t. We would be the two people who are guaranteed to survive it,” you reminded him.

“That is less than helpful, darling,” he replied in English, but laughed.

“Just read your book,” you replied. The flight was uninteresting and fairly standard, though too long, since you were flying across the country. You were both grateful when you finally landed, especially since you were nearly the first ones off the plane.

“Let us never travel this way again,” Loki grumbled, trying to stretch. Even in first class he had been cramped as he was too tall to be comfortable in the seats.  

You laughed at him. “We’re going home this way too,” you reminded him. 

He groaned. “That is a terrible idea,” he whined. You laughed harder and you made your way to collect your bags and then your rental car. You weren’t old enough to rent a car and Loki wasn’t human, but exceptions were made and you finally got a car.  You tossed Loki the keys when you had them and pulled out your phone to call Wrath.

“Wrath,” he answered in one ring.

“Hi Wrath. This is Sigyn and Loki. Fury told us we were to contact you when our flight landed,” you told him simply as Loki followed the GPS’ directions to your hotel.

“Lady Sigyn. I’m glad to hear you arrived safely. What are your plans while you’re in Hollywood?” he asked courteously.  

“We’re doing tourist things today and then have the movie premiere tomorrow. We fly back out on Sunday,” you replied with your basic itinerary.  

“Great. Come by the compound after you get settled at your hotel. The team wants to meet you, and I’ll make sure you get passes to the tourist things you’ll want to see. I’ll send you the address,”

“Thank you, Wrath. We’ll see you soon,” you ended the call. “We have to go play with the other supers,” you told Loki once the call was ended. He laughed at your description and reluctantly agreed to go help the others. You texted Tony to let him know you had landed safely. 

“It appears so. We’re nearly to the hotel,” he told you, checking with the GPS. Tom had set up the hotel arrangements for you, so you didn’t even know where you were staying. It was apparently near the premiere. The valet took your rental car the second you got to the hotel and bellhops took your bags from you immediately. All of them got tipped generously.

“This place is fancy,” you commented to Loki as you made your way to the check-in counter. “Let me,” you whispered to Loki, who nodded and gave you the lead.  You were more used to dealing with humans than he was and he knew it. 

“May I help you?” the man behind the desk asked extremely politely.

“Hi,” you greeted him with an overly bright smile. “We have reservations, but I’m not sure what name they’re under. Tom Hiddleston set them up for us,” you explained. 

You saw the hesitation, then the change to a glare in his eyes a moment later.  That wasn’t a good thing. “You’re the fourth pair who have tried to claim they know Mr. Hiddleston today,” he told me sourly. You saw that he was about to call security. Your smile didn’t falter, just shifted to the one you used when people were being stupid. You reached into your purse and pulled out your IDs, laying them both on the counter where he could see them.

“My name is Y/N Stark.  You may know you as Lady Sigyn. This is Loki. Tom set up reservations for us here so we could attend the premiere of the new Avengers film.” You placed the tickets on the counter with your IDs. “Do you require additional proof?” you asked him pleasantly.

“No, Miss Stark. Thank you for your understanding. Here are your room keys. You’re on the top floor. Mr. Hiddleston has the suite across the hall from yours,”

“Thank you,” you replied, sweeping your IDs and tickets back into your purse. You grabbed your room keys and you followed the bellhops up to the top floor. They set your bags inside the suite for you, which is when they got their tips.

The suite was fantastic and you were pretty sure they were some of the fanciest rooms in the city. “Tom doesn’t skimp,” you commented, grabbing your bag to take it to the bedroom. “These are super fancy rooms and probably stupidly expensive,” you explained to Loki. He nodded and looked impressed.

You sighed, just wanting to rest for a little while, traveling was exhausting, but you had things to do. You used magic to summon a dark green dress for yourself and wedge sandals and redo your hair in soft curls down your back. You didn’t have to worry about this being a completely illogical outfit to fight in. You were completely off duty for once. “We should see if Tom’s here,” you told Loki as you left the hotel room again.

“Of course,” he knocked on the door to the suite across the hall, but there was no answer. You weren’t really surprised and knew you’d see Tom and Kelly later. So you were safe to leave the hotel.  Loki drove you across town to the Protectors’ compound.

“Why do we have to play with the other supers?” you whined at Loki. You just wanted to have fun today.

“It is the cost of being famous, love,” he replied with a chuckle. “We deal with it all the time back on Asgard too,” he reminded you. 

You huffed. “I know. I can still be tired of it.”

“And we are going to a movie premiere tomorrow, which will be shown live on television, correct?” he asked. 

You nodded. “That at least sounds like fun. You know I suck at socializing,”

“You do just fine at home,” he reminded you reasonably, wondering where this mood of yours was coming from.

“They’re family. These are strangers,” you replied, grabbing his hand. You were uneasy around strangers, for all that you usually did a good job hiding it. You were used to your fame even if you hated it most of the time.

“I know, darling. We will do our obligation here, and then it will just be the two of us adventuring in the city,” he reminded you gently.

“Promise?” you asked.

“I promise,” he gave you a reassuring smile as you parked in one of the visitor’s spots in front of the Protectors’ compound. He came around and opened your car door, offering you a hand to help you out of the car. You took it and you walked up to the main entrance hand-in-hand. You didn’t even have to knock before the door was opening.

“Who are you?” the middle aged man who opened it demanded. You weren’t used to being questioned on your identity so often. It was weird.

“Lady Sigyn and Loki here to see Wrath,” you replied formally. You held out your Avengers’ ID for his inspection. The guard stepped back to let you in.

“You’re expected. It’s an honor to meet both of you. Wrath will be down shortly. Hey, Kira, show our guests to the common room,” the guard flagged down a passing teen. 

The girl nodded. “Lady Sigyn, Loki, this way,” she told you with the air of someone star-struck. You hoped they all weren’t going to be like this. You followed her to the common room. It was set up so similarly to your common room at home that it nearly felt like home. The supers here all had that same star-struck expression when they realized who you were. “Can I get you anything to drink?” Kira asked as you found a couch to settle on to wait for Wrath.

“Do you have any hot tea?” you asked. She nodded and darted off. Soon the braver supers were coming over demanding stories and demonstrations of powers and to see the soulbond marks on your arms.

“Children, leave our guests alone,” Wrath said as he entered the room. You set down your tea and stood to you could greet him properly. You shook his hand, all politeness and manners, and pretending that everyone you knew didn’t think you were some kind of troublemaker/trickster. Loki was equally formal and polite. “So what’s the news from the Avengers’ side of the country?” Wrath asked. You should have expected him to try to pump you for information.

“Things have actually been pretty quiet recently,” you replied with a smile. “At least quiet enough for us to get a couple days off,”

“Surely there must be some word of what Balder is up to…” he persisted.

“If there is, I haven’t heard anything,” you replied with your adorable innocent girl routine, which generally fooled any adult besides Fury. “I am just a rookie after all,”

“And Balder would hardly let me know what he is up to,” Loki added. That was true at least. Loki was the last person Balder would want to know his plans. Wrath regarded you, but you were so practiced at lying and looking innocent that he let the matter go.

“Come, regale us all the tales of your bravery!” Wrath bid, drawing cheers from the supers who were gathered. You let Loki do most of the talking for this one, he was the better tale spinner most of the time since he was the god of stories after all. He was completely in his element here, discussing the bad guys you’d taken on and your battles with Balder.

You spent a couple hours with the Protectors. In exchange for your stories, Wrath gave you VIP passes to a couple of the big touristy attractions you had been hoping to visit. You thanked him for his hospitality and went to go finally have fun. People still recognized us of course, but you were tourists here too and could act like it. So you had fun taking silly pictures and touring the tourist attractions all afternoon.

-Did you guys ever make it to town?- Tom texted you late that afternoon.

-Yes. We had to visit the Protectors when we got here and we’ve been doing tourist stuff all day. You guys weren’t in when we checked in-

-Glad you made it!- He replied.

A couple minutes later a group text came through. All it had was an address and the word ‘assemble’. You laughed and showed it to Loki.

“Shall we?” he asked with his usual glint of fun and mischief.

“Of course,”

The address ended up being a nice restaurant near your hotel. You could actually park at the hotel and walk there, which you did so you didn’t have to worry about the car.  When you entered, the waitstaff immediately led you to a table where the cast of the Avengers’ movies were already gathering. “Sigyn! Loki!” they greeted you brightly. You were met with hugs by your friends on the cast, including Tom and Kelly.

“Where is your hair?!?” Loki demanded of Tom when he saw him with a tone of true concern. Tom wasn’t wearing the Loki wig today and his hair was naturally brown and wavy and much shorter.  It would have been curly had it been a little longer. The crowd laughed at Loki’s horrified reaction.

"I have to wear a wig to play you,” Tom replied gently.  None of you had been expecting Loki to be upset. 

“I think he’s only ever seen you wearing the wig, sorry Tom, I hadn’t thought to make him watch any of your other movies,” you added sheepishly. Loki still looked concerned. “Lo, it’s alright,” you tried to reassure him.

"But Sig…” he started.  You understood, by his culture, it wasn’t alright at all.  

“You two are sitting by Kelly and me,” Tom interrupted, showing you the empty places. “We’re only waiting for Chris,” 

Loki pulled out your chair for you, as per usual.  He was still clearly upset.  “Are you sure it’s alright?” He asked you and Tom softly when you were seated.  “Where I come from having one’s hair shorn is a sign of disgrace or servitude,” Loki explained, explaining to the table why he was upset over Tom’s short hair.  

“It’s nothing like that,” you told him again, patiently. “Men usually have short hair here. Tom only didn’t for the movies because the character has long black hair, so they gave him a wig to wear.” Loki didn’t look entirely convinced, but let it go. Chris, who played Thor in the movies, finally arrived and you got to all enjoy your dinner together, catching up.

Tom leaned over to whisper in your ear part of the way through dinner. “We’re all going to a club after this. It’s a bit of a tradition for dancing. You’re not 21 are you?” he asked. 

You shook your head. “I’m not, but I can get in,” you reassured him.  Though that wasn’t exactly something you should be advertising, which you knew. 

“I would never presume to ask-” He hedged quickly. 

You shook your head and gave him a smile. “You haven’t asked, and I won’t do anything stupid that could get you in trouble,” you replied with a mischievous grin.

“So are you joining us?” Chris asked loudly. You nodded and blushed a little at the attention. These guys were all famous. Sometimes you neglected to remember how famous you were too as they seemed on a different tier of famousness.

You all went as a group to the club nearby. You didn’t even get carded since you were with the entire cast of the Avengers’ movies, so you didn’t feel bad about sneaking in. You danced for hours with them, all being silly and happy together. You and Loki laughed when Kelly, Chris, and Scarlett all had a dance-off in the middle of the floor. Somehow Loki won the dance-off. No one was quite sure how that happened when he wasn’t even participating.  

It was stupidly late when you all stumbled back to the hotel. The whole cast was laughing, though, most of them drunk, though not you as you’d kept your word to behave. The group was so much fun to be around and you were glad you’d made friends with them, even if you weren’t officially part of the cast.

[freddiesaysalright]

Peace Like a River Part 10

A Gwilym Lee x Reader Story

Summary: Reader is a stand up comic with a pretty dark past. She has a three new lights in her life: her daughter, Violet; her anonymous correspondent, Dear Friend; and Gwilym Lee.

Word Count: 3.4K

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @simmisblog, @assembledherethevolunteers, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @readinghorn, @riddikuluslypotter, @doingalrightt, @misslolasworld, @lemurian-starship, @ravenedges-lies, @painkiller80, @imgonnabeyourslave, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @ixchel-9275, @sincerelygmg, @lv7867, @unicorn-princess-1999, @delilahmay39, @chlobo6, @dragon-out-of-water, @radio-hoo-ha If you’d like to be added let me know!

A/N: Alright!! This is more of a set for the coming chapter, but still lots of great stuff! We meet Y/N’s new assistant and find out what happened between Stacy and Henry! Also, Gwilym is maybe catching on!!!! Y’all enjoy :)

Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV  Part V  Part VI  Part VII  Part VIII  Part IX

Part 10 here we go!!!

You read his letter over and over again. The whole trip home to Los Angeles, you pondered how to respond. What should you say? Should you come clean in the letters? Would he believe you if he did? Then, there was the matter of his confession and what he said.

Dear Friend. I’m afraid our correspondence must soon come to an end. I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to you, but I’ve met someone. As much as I’ve cherished getting to know you, and connecting with you over our shared interests, the person I’ve come to love is now in front of me. I always could picture a life with you. But she is the one person I cannot imagine my life without. 

That being said, my invitation to meet still stands. I’d like for both of us to have some closure, so we won’t spend our whole lives wondering. If you’d prefer to let things lie, that would be alright, too, but I hope you’ll agree with me and have a proper conclusion. Let me know what you decide. Sincerely, Dear Friend.

Your mind raced with everything you had to consider. The time to come clean was upon you. When and where to do it appropriately was the only question left to answer. You knew Gwilym loved you. It was right there in black and white. Crystal clear. That made you so happy you could burst into song and dance. But, a fresh wave of guilt came with the demise of his relationship to Dear Friend.

He told you he was in love with her. Did any of those feelings still linger? How much did he still care? Enough to still want to meet, that was for sure. But he was also willing to just let it go. For you.

Part of you was a little offended. Could he really not even entertain the idea that you were the same person? He told you how alike you and Dear Friend were - which was obvious to you - but had it even crossed his mind? You had to talk to him and find out where his head was at and what he hoped for from all of this.

The only problem was that when you got back to LA, you were busy. You were shopping for Violet’s Christmas gifts, interviewing for a new assistant, your agent was hounding you about a film role she liked for you, and you were trying to squeeze in time to even just tell Gwilym you missed him. Texting was okay, but you missed seeing his face and the sound of his voice.

The only person who probably missed him more than you was Violet. She was pretty depressed, despite being excited for Christmas. Usually, she was in bed when you had time to call or FaceTime with Gwilym, so she missed a lot of it. The moments she did get to talk to him were brief, either in the car or over breakfast before your busy day.

You had booked your trip to London already. You’d be flying in on the twenty-first, just days before Christmas, and you’d stay through the New Year. Violet was incredibly excited. So much so, she was literally counting down the days with an Advent calendar. She had asked you to circle the day you were going to see Daddy, and you obliged.

One week before your departure, you interviewed a final candidate for your assistant. It was a man a little younger than you, named Adam, and his resume was impressive. It was all a matter of what you and Violet thought of him. You were conducting interviews at your house, and when the doorbell rang, she rushed to answer it.

“Hi!” Adam said brightly, smiling at her. “Are you the one hiring an assistant?”

She giggled. “No, silly, it’s my mommy!”

“Of course!” he said dramatically, gently hitting his forehead with the heel of his hand. “I am silly. You just seemed like such a busy girl.”

You grinned. He was already on the right track.

“Adam?” you said, coming to the door.

“Miss Y/L/N?” he returned, extending his hand.

“Y/N,” you told him, shaking it. “Come in, please.”

He followed you into the kitchen, Violet on your heels. She took to Adam quickly, whereas the others seemed sort of put out by her. It was refreshing.

“So, tell me why you left your most recent job,” you said as you took a seat across from him at the table.

“Things weren’t working out with her,” he said.

“Can I ask why?” you wondered.

He took a deep breath. “I might as well tell you so I don’t run into a similar issue. I have a boyfriend. I just came out earlier this year, and she didn’t agree with my ‘lifestyle.’”

You frowned. “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

He shrugged, but the corners of his mouth turned down in a way that told you it bothered him more than he was letting on. 

“It’s okay.”

“It’s really not,” you said. “But just so you know, it makes no difference to me.”

He forced a smile. “That’s a relief.”

“So tell me about your strengths as an assistant,” you said.

He immediately straightened up and grew more positive. He was an impressive person, and throughout, he was considerate of both you and Violet. You allowed her to ask questions too, only they tended to pertain to things like if he liked chocolate, and if he did, whether or not he would share with her on the occasions that he had any. He assured her that he would.

“Well, I believe those are all my questions,” you said with a chuckle. “Anything else from you, Vi?”

“Will he come with us to see Daddy?” she wondered.

“Daddy?” Adam questioned.

“My boyfriend,” you said. “He lives in London and we’re going there next week for Christmas.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Sweetie, Adam probably has his own family he wants to see during the holiday,” you explained to your daughter.

“Actually,” he said. “My boyfriend is traveling with his family, and I don’t really speak to mine….” he trailed off.

“Oh, you’d really like to come?” you wondered. “But it’s Christmas, you shouldn’t have to work.”

“I’d love it actually,” he said. “I hate the idea of spending another one by myself.”

You smiled. “Alright. I’ll get you a ticket.”

“And I’ve already got a passport,” he returned with a smirk.

That afternoon, you got a call as you were starting on dinner. You were shocked at the name on the caller ID. It was Stacy. Curious, you answered.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?” she said, and you could hear that she had been crying.

“Stacy,” you returned coolly. “What do you want?”

“Well, um, I just spoke to Henry and he dumped me,” she said. “I was just wondering if you’d talked to him or...well…”

You sighed. “No, I haven’t.”

“Really?” she pressed. “He didn’t even give a reason, so I thought…”

“You really think he’d start listening to me all of a sudden?” you replied. “If he ended it, it’s because he didn’t feel it anymore or he couldn’t use you anymore. In either scenario, you’re better off, believe me.”

“Alright,” she sniffled. “I guess I’ll leave you alone then.”

“Goodbye, Stacy,” you said, and hung up.

You were conflicted about how you felt about this new development. You’d resigned yourself to the fact that Stacy would stay with Henry, and you hated the potential harm that could come to her, but you did what you could. The fact that Henry broke up with Stacy despite how the meeting went pissed you off a little. It meant his threat was empty. He was going to leave her anyway. You’d put yourself and your family through that whole ordeal only to find that he was bluffing. He’d used your vulnerability. Of course he had.

Then again, part of you was glad for the confrontation. You no longer feared Henry. Punching him had pretty much rid you of any remaining fear. Gwilym had jokingly named the punch The Defibrillator since you’d struck two spots in the chest at the same time. But in all seriousness, you felt that sense of overcoming your past which had haunted you. Shedding that shadow. That counted for something. You just hated that you’d frightened your daughter and put Gwilym in danger.

You looked out into the living room and watched Adam playing with Violet - she was introducing him to all her stuffed animals - and smiled. The part of your life with Stacy, Henry, and even Dear Friend was done now. You just had to take care of that last bit.

After dinner, you put Violet to bed and Adam offered to help with the dishes in exchange for you feeding him. When you came back down the stairs, you found him at the sink. He had a strangely guilty look on his face.

“What’s up?” you wondered.

“Girl, do you know what year it is?” he returned.

Your brow furrowed. “What?”

“You’re still writing letters? In this day in age?”

Your cheeks went pink.

“You saw my letter?!”

“I didn’t snoop or read it!” he insisted. “It was on the counter and I got water on it. It looked important so I dabbed it with a rag and saw it was a real handwritten letter and suddenly it was the early twentieth century.”

“Come on, everyone likes getting mail,” you argued.

“He’s not overseas fighting World War I,” he retorted. “Slide in the DMs like everybody else.”

You rolled your eyes.

“So, it’s your boyfriend you’re writing to?” he asked.

“I thought you said you didn’t read it,” you said.

“Okay, but I have eyes, so I caught a few things,” he shot back. “Are y’all breaking up?”

“No,” you told him. “He doesn’t know he’s writing to me.”

“O...kay…” he began. “We don’t have time to unpack what you just said to me, but luckily, we have a very long plane ride coming up soon.”

You laughed. “Alright, I’ll explain everything then.”

You helped him finish the dishes and then he left. You went to your desk to write back, but then you got another call. This time, the name thrilled you. It was a FaceTime call from Gwilym.

“Hey, baby,” you said as you picked up. 

“Hello, love,” he replied. “How are you?”

“Good!” you told him. “I hired a new assistant today.”

“That’s wonderful,” he said. “What are they like?”

“His name is Adam…”

You told him about it and then he caught you up on the goings on in his life as well. When you came to a lull in conversation, you decided to bring up what had been weighing on you.

“So, there’s something we haven’t talked about,” you said. “I forgot about it after everything that’s happened, but it’s important.”

“What is it?” he wondered.

“Are you sure you have time to talk about it?” you asked. “Isn’t it like four in the morning there?”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “It’s why I called. Let’s talk about it.”

You took a deep breath. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about...Dear Friend.”

“Oh,” he said, and his face fell. “Yes, I figured you’d have questions. Things with her have not been romantic in nature for some time.”

“How do you feel about that?” you asked.

“It’s sort of sad,” he began. “I feel I sort of lead her on only to disappoint her. In a way, I felt I was being unfaithful. But...I couldn’t help what happened between us. As soon as I knew how I felt about you, I told her.”

“And...are you still writing to her?”

“I wrote to her just before I left New York,” he said. “That’s when I explained everything. In the spirit of honesty, I should tell you I’ve still asked her to meet. I want to have proper closure with her.”

You nodded. He frowned.

“You’re not surprised by that?” he questioned.

You blinked. “Oh! Um, no, I am. Sorry, it’s just a lot to process. Do you...do you still care for her?”

“It’s more of a friendly feeling now,” he said. “Because my feelings for you formed. Although honestly, it began to feel like you two were the same person at times. So I felt really conflicted.”

Tell him! Your mind screamed at you. Tell him now, you coward!

“Funny,” you said weakly.

“Do you want me to call it off?” he asked. 

You considered it. You wondered if calling it off would make it easier. But you also didn’t want him to wonder. An idea came to you. You weren’t sure if it was the noblest thing, but damn, it was romantic. And if anyone deserved a little romance, it was Gwilym. Especially after everything he’d endured with you and supported you through.

“No,” you said. “I want you to get what you need out of it.”

“That’s...surprisingly understanding of you,” he said.

“Gwilym, I love you,” you told him. “I only ever want you to be completely happy. If meeting her will help you, then I’m gonna be supportive.”

“I appreciate that,” he said. “More than you know.”

“I love you so much,” you said again.

“I love you too,” he replied with a small smile.

“Are you okay?” you wondered. 

He looked almost sad. Disappointed.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, but you could tell something was off.

“Gwil,” you pressed.

“I suppose I’m just...I dunno...a bit sad,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“I’ve been writing to this woman for over a year,” he said. “I really...I really thought she was it for me. Happy as I am to have found you, I feel terrible that I’ve hurt her. Or will hurt her. It’s the end of something special.”

You wished you could tell him you were feeling the same way. Even though you knew, it felt sort of bittersweet. All the excitement and mystery would be gone.

“And it sort of makes me feel like the whole thing was just a fantasy,” he said. “That I couldn’t truly love someone without meeting them despite all the ways we connected. It makes me feel so foolish to have believed in it at all.”

Your heart ached for him.

“You’re...you’re not foolish,” you assured him. “You’re a romantic. If it helps, I don’t think what you shared with Dear Friend was just a fantasy. Feelings like that are real and can affect you. You care enough for this person to hurt for her now that it’s over. That’s real.”

He sighed and didn’t answer.

“Besides,” you went on. “Who cares what it means to others as long as you know what you meant to each other?”

His eyes went wide and he gaped at you.

“Y/N -”

You yawned before he could ask the question you’d planted in his mind.

“I’ve got to get some sleep.”

“Hold on - Y/N -!”

“Good night, Gwil!” you chirped. “Love you!”

You waved to him and he sputtered to keep you on the phone, but you hung up, smirking. You wanted to surprise him, but it couldn’t hurt to drop a hint. Giggling to yourself, you began your reply letter.

Dear Friend, you began. I’m not at all surprised by the news you’ve met someone. I’ve had my suspicions since you stopped writing “I love you” before the end of your letters. Let me first say, I completely understand. We can’t control who we fall in love with. I’m happy for you. Second, I also would like real and complete closure. Let’s try to meet again. I promise that I won’t run away this time, no matter what happens or who shows up.

You arranged to meet him on Christmas Eve at eight o’clock in the evening. The place was a park near Gwilym’s home, which you found after some meticulous Googling. You sealed up the envelope and addressed it, one last time. That familiar bittersweet feeling returned. This was the last letter. The end of Dear Friend.

This time, however, you weren’t scared. You had overcome more in the past few weeks than you had ever expected. You were proud of yourself. And you’d found Gwilym’s love amid all of it. It no longer felt uneven. You no longer felt unworthy. Gwilym loved you, and you believed him when he said it. No one could make you feel inferior to him. Not even yourself.

The next day, you went to put the letter in the mailbox just as Adam showed up for work. He laughed as he watched you put the flag up and everything. He got out of his car and you ignored his smug look.

“Letter writing is a lost art,” you said. “Now come inside and help me answer some emails.”

Chuckling, he followed you in. Violet gave a shout of delight at seeing him again.

“Good morning, Mister Adam!” she cried.

“You can just call me Adam, sweetie,” he said. “And good morning.”

“Want some pancakes?” she asked.

He looked at you to be sure there were enough. You nodded.

Well, sure,” he said, sitting down beside her.

You fixed him a plate before joining them with one of your own. Your phone rang and it was Gwilym, FaceTiming again. You answered just as you swallowed a bite of pancake.

“Morning, baby!” you said, leaning closer to Adam and showing Gwilym. “This is Adam, my new assistant!”

“Hello,” Gwilym said politely.

Adam turned his eyes on Gwilym and then choked on his coffee. 

“That’s your boyfriend?!” he cried. “That’s a real person?! He’s so handsome!”

Gwilym blushed. “Oh, my, that’s very kind of you.”

“He’s coming with us to London,” you said to Gwil.

“That’s great!” Gwilym said. “Listen, darling, I wanted to ask you something -”

“I wanna talk to him!” Violet whined. “Mommy, let me!”

“Hold on,” you said, looking at Gwil. “Violet wants to say hello.”

He chuckled. “Yes, of course.”

You propped your phone up facing Violet, who beamed.

“Hi, Daddy!” she said. 

“Hello, angel!” he returned. “How are you?”

She started jabbering away to him. Adam leaned over to you.

“Goddamn, Y/N!” he whispered. “That’s her dad?”

“Long story,” you said. “But no, her biological father isn’t in the picture. It’s sort of funny she just called him Daddy one day and it stuck.”

Adam glanced at the phone, where you both got a glimpse of Gwilym smiling at Violet.

“Shit, I’d call him Daddy too,” Adam muttered.

You snorted and burst into a fit of giggles. 

“Adam!” you scolded playfully. “You’re taken! And so is he!”

“I can look at the menu without ordering!” he argued, laughing. 

You enjoyed your breakfast, keeping Gwilym on the phone so it was like he was there with you. You missed him so much. You longed to reach over and take his hand. To feel his warmth and affection.

You could tell he wanted to ask you again about the reference to the letters, but it wasn’t a good time with Violet and Adam there. He was clearly disappointed when you did have to hang up and start with your day.

“Okay, so your first order of business is the movie role your agent has sent you…” Adam checked his laptop. “Four emails about. Literally in the last half hour.”

“Yeah, she’s pushy,” you sighed, picking up the plates to put them in the sink. 

“People stop doing that when you answer them, you know,” he returned.

You bit your lip. While it was tempting, the movie would begin shooting in Los Angeles within the year, and you weren’t sure where you’d be. You hoped you’d be in London, where your heart was.

“Turn it down,” you said.

“Are you sure?” he questioned, blinking with surprise. “It’s a big role.”

“I don’t have time,” you said with a shrug. “There are more important things I want to focus on.”

“Alright, I’ll let her know,” he assured you, already typing his message.

You smiled. It felt right. You needed to start thinking about what your future with Gwilym would look like. For you, he was also the one person you couldn’t imagine your life without. And thankfully, you wouldn’t be without him for much longer.

[macklives]

homestuck recap

i hated this so fucking much bc my 2 am bitch-ass didnt want to read a recap thats probably longer than any slowburn out there

anyways here it is

also, uhhH sorry im using this as a end of session discussion bc that shit gets explained in her as well. and im not writing up more recaps of a recap so this is where im done for the day. (by done for the day i mean last nights session, im still doing a liveblog soon. i just wrote this yesterday)

also that this is long

you dont have to read it, theres nothing of importance

ive been coping with humor to get me through it

neato.

have fun with what i suffered through:

why was “beta” the only thing unhighlighted?

like did i miss a page???

OH its the beta version of HS thats why

damn its like 5 pages and thats it

mmh

well youll all be happy to know im clicking every single one of these links again bc i like looking back like ahh i remember that. good times. also in case i forgot some shit existed.

do you think andrew had fun writing this? or was he like “fuck”

thats a lot of fucking package talk. good thing im not confused as of now and remember it pretty clearly. of else, this early on in the recap, id be screwed.

god remember when i did an analysis on each item and what it did

i feel as if i have the technology engrained inside my head right now

cruxite, alchemeter, all that jazz

flashbacks are starting up already

yeah, that was the good part in homestuck where i knew 100% that i probably would continue on this liveblog in its entirety, ngl

that one explosion scene. bc it kept me going.

OH W A IT SHIT

i just realized how the intermission spades probably fucking foreshadowed the whole jack revolts thing and gains the ring, which was also technically JOHNS fault considering he slashed up the doll in the first place

my god, i guess thats the only good aspect of the recap. looking back at things and realizing the missing pieces.

oh that makes sense for the whole “this prototyping had no effect on the enemies, since he was already in the medium” i didnt actually think about that

little did rose know where that would get her right now

oh yeah

there’s still the whole entire lab terminal thing and how mom basically knows the place exists. i guess we’re still venturing onto that and itll come up later when we find out how mom knows SO MUCH about the game.

still think shes some weird spy or secret agent

i kinda love her ngl

anyways, theres literally no reason for skaia to produce a cloning machine. so technically, they only sent the meteors in, right? so who put the cloning machine in if not mom?

oh yeah that impact was nerve wrecking asf

and still at this point in the comic i called dave fuckboy red

huh, how times change

i hated reading that whole paragraph ngl, the frustration just kicked me in the boobs again

yeah nobody else got tornadoes, huh?

OH that makes also much more sense

bc she did prototyped them before she entered the medium.

i gotcha

man one of my favorite edits i made, rose hitting that meteor with a bat

are you

telling me

the exiles structures they arrived on were in the form of the items the kids used to enter the medium?

THE EGG

THAT EXPLAINS “EGG”

of course it was 413 years ago. that was never explained. simply vague “many years in the future....” but i expected no less from this

man serenity is the most wholesome character in hs no doubt

damn thought andy here was really gonna spoil us jade’s planet

okay cool, im glad i now have the layout to the whole “their stations went to the coordinates of the home button” shindig

man i honestly dont know what else to say besides “yeah cool recap” when i already pretty much know what went down? ofc im looking into each link and shit and adding in things when i see fit, but otherwise its just me going “ah good times” yknow

the whole meteor thing kinda makes sense now?

we’re still missing a few pieces of info but we’re getting there, folks

oh yeah that reveal

god jade and dave have it in the shits for parents huh

bro isnt the best and jade has a fucking dog

who lowkey

is doing better than bro

who knew a fucking dog is a better guardian than bro lmfao

dreambot = terminator. im telling you.

sorry im still on that idea and it will never leave unless i have the actual proof in front of me that its not going to become a thing. meaning, ive finished hs and theres still no terminator dreambot or either andrew himself gives me a canon letter with “the robot is not arnold, mackenzie, pls just let it be”

why is the entire game session highlighted

i swear to god if this is like to a second recap or smth of the whole game session i may fucking CRY

okay thank god its just a design of the skaia layout

which is honestly cool

idk why its blurry tho but i can at least see the layout now. which is honestly how i pictured it anyways.

yeah, john did make a huge impact in his friends’ life and i find that so fucking touching

yep. got that. everything loops around. cool.

especially when the trolls come in. god we havent even gotten to that recap portion yet, we havent even gotten to the INTERMISSION

pls can this be the halfway point to the recap

AT LEAST

so they were exiled after the whole jack: ascend thing, right? considering theyre way in the future. man no fucking wonder.

speaking of jack

man that whole dad and jack interaction was gold, ngl

OH THAT EXPLAINS THE RING THEN

and wow, andrew’s really giving us the best female content huh. andrew is the true god of equality and diversity.

also hey, i didnt realize that wow. so PM tricked the queen in showing the parking ticket to be able to take the present from jack. she’s a smart cookie, that one..

she and PM basically snitched on jack and it was the best thing that has happened to me so far

oh yeah okay

but why did AR panic over bec? bc thats something we havent learned yet, right?

anyways

exile town, the only town which should exist. facts. i dont make the rules.

noice

i love PM being queen. like.. thats canon now. shes an actual queen.

yeah that was a fun game and the consorts were cute

fuck yeah the dick head

hate them even more now that i know john was killed because of them

anyways, i wonder what dick move dave’s denizen did? maybe thats why its filled with lava bc the denizen was like “fuck it. make the land red. kill them all”

UH WHAT

WHAT

OH MY GOD HOW DID I JUST FORGET NANNAS LETTER LIKE THAT LMFAO

THEIR TITLES WERE THERE THE WHOLE TIME!

so i still dont know what they mean but i can gather it has something to do with the game giving them abilities. considering dave is the “knight of time” and he can go back in time. whack.

which means john can either control someones breathing or simply wind. and rose is... like that one girl in the winx club who does the sun shit. bc whenever i think of light powers, i think of stella.

and jade is space. witch of space.

nice

i have no idea what that means ngl

okay finally

we’re at the trolls

maybe this recap will end soon

i remember when i thought they were internet bullies

yesss

someone asked if i basically knew the trolls were on a different veil than the kids, so not presently with them, and i know lol. i was making a joke before btw. jsyk. dont think im incompetent to forget these things when sometimes i choose to forget it so i can add in a joke

it be like that, i annoy many

then again, pls dont assume im trying to say im not incompetent bc im also a fucking dumbass and DO forget shit and i have no excuse

imagine being so bored on the meteor, your last resort is speaking to aliens

ngl me if i was ever trapped on a meteor and could potentially do that

nah ik its bc its their only hope at helping with their session or whatever tf CG said to john. but there was BOUND to be a conference meeting between them like “okay guys. humans. that needs to be sorted out” and you just hear CG screaming in the background

i cant wait to meet them honestly bc im growing on all 4 of the ones we’ve seen already. and on top of that, i know what they look like and i know theyre not THAT bad, just a little on the crayy zee side sometimes

but theyre trying

OH MY GOD

I GET IT

FUCK

DOES THAT MEAN THE INTERMISSION IS *APART* OF THE MAIN FUCKING STORY??

AND SPADES IS WV FOR THE TROLLS

GOD D A M N

wow

i didnt expect that. but maybe the signs were there and i was just willingly choosing to ignore it or smth bc “haha couldnt be, right”

flashbacks to how i thought the trolls were humans

anyways, i guess he got his revenge on the kids version of “snowman” ie the black queen. but really

he did not have to do that. he could have cut off the finger and fled. but he decided “nah, lets implode her” so the loml is dead and all i got was a catchy song

i knew they were different types of “bullies” but now i just have to replace bullies with uhh

trolling strategies

anyways, this is cute. i love how they’ve come to be friends through mutual frustration. good part in the comic.

i wonder why it explodes

more importantly

....

terminator time?

this was my favourite sequences of dialogues in the whole entirety of homestuck. that is to say the back and forth thing that the kids went through to become a sort of wingman for the other.

absolutely gold.

all except AT’s rap.

GC was the only smart one with the linear shit

anyways fuck he still has to kill the denizen now but apparently its hard to beat for a sleeping dick head so

that will be fun for the future

john will probably need to kill A LOT of imps to get there

yeah rose is a badass bc she slayed that thing with needles of all things

OH and the white queen was the cursive

damn did AR ever do the whole guide process to a kid yet? maybe he will with dave, idk

oHHH

i fucking SEE

thats why he said DNA

to use it and replace all the life forms in the ocean

fucking neat wow

man that sounded sarcastic but im genuinely impressed bc all i got was bullshit as i read jaspersprites log

so thats the secret. it was “meow” bc that somehow translates to the genetic code she needs then. and that code apparently took fucking years to write as well. sick. whack. oh man.

derse is very pretty, ngl

and wow shit

“dave had already been awake in his tower all along without realizing it” how tf does someone just

do that, awake in both places at once

i didnt even fucking realize that fact as i read that pesterlog wow

ah yes, around the time things got confusing

okay so the capsule makes sense bc at first i didnt know it was a fucking time capsule so i got confused as to how it just apparated the game lmfao

the more you know i guess *twinkle*

i find that a neat concept tho

like the whole whatever you prototype affects the imps and shit

yeah so that whole “he had no advice” basically impacted his future

no shit dave wanted to reset things bc he probably thought he caused some sort of bad butterfly effect and killed his best friend

fuck calsprite thats all im gonna say

i read that first sentence and i think i got an aneurysm

and then everything else just made me sad again

i mean good thing he fucking did amirite?

we got pain at first but now we got cool shit like idk

fucking DAVESPRITE

damn idk how that works

will rose have like two minds now? or will this be some steven universe fusion shit?

“and understood their meaning” course well i fucking didnt so could you pls elaborate, rose?

okay but then what the fuck did he use that was inside the fucking box

bc i thought he used his knife?

im only every going to refer him as that now, thank you andrew

alright okay..

god that was a lot

i dont know what will happen once i click on those links but i am going to see that for myself bc i refuse to add ANYTHING ELSE

[skylights422]

@ace-and-aro-wlw-positivity created a Q&A for aspec authors/writers, and as an aspec author, I am excited to participate and answer as many of their questions as I can. Under a cut since it became really outrageously long.

1. What was your inspiration for your character(s)? Are they modeled on yourself, a person that you know, or a character that’s already been established?

Typically I’d say my characters are a mix of general inspiration from other stories/characters and then bits and pieces taken from myself. I try not to make any of them like a clone of myself or another character, try to mix it up, possibly with mixed success but that is the goal.

2. How much, if any, has your character(s) changed since they were first created? What caused this change?

Oh wow, okay I have characters I still use from grade school and middle school, and those characters have changed/grown a lot. Most notoriously (to me) though are my two fellas Euphranor and Kadri. I created them while daydreaming in middle school while watching those science videos in class about how I could make a more parody-like version of said videos, Kadri being the energetic and comically sadistic teacher and Euphranor being the constantly irritated and foul-tempered student. The core of their designs and personalities haven’t totally changed (Euph is still a hot-head and Kadri still likes to troll him), but they’ve become far more nuanced as characters as their story become more involved and serious. They’ve also become softer characters, with Euph having a Heart of Gold and Kadri being a bit morally grey but generally compassionate and friendly. I think the cause of this change and others comes from a mix of things, for one I simply got older and what I wanted out my characters changed a bit. But also I think it’s because I spent so much time with those characters in my head that I couldn’t help but develop them more fully, which in turn made me want to give them a good story. Also, everyone is definitely more queer now then how they started, largely because I became more aware and comfortable with my own queer identity and spent more time in queer spaces (though with Euph I actually just realized he had to be gay because I every het relationship I envisioned for him fell totally flat and yet imagining him as having crushes on guys just seemed to work better/make more sense, and that was an earlier decision).

4. Do you intend on publishing your story one day? Why, or why not?

I definitely do! I have many, many stories I want to publish, as books or comics or tv shows or films. I’ve always wanted to publish some of writing since it’s one of my main passions and have always taken inspiration from the stories I consumed. I just love writing and would want to be able to do it as my main career, the key will just be figuring out how to focus on one project long enough to finish it. xD

5. Surprise fact! Give a random fact about your character(s), whether it’s their favorite color, food, or even song!

Euphranor loves to sing! He hums to calm himself down and even full on sings to vent his feelings sometimes. Kadri loves literature and video games, and blackberry pie is his favorite food.

6. Admit it, you have a folder on your computer of the various types of picrews you’ve created for your character(s). Would you mind posting a few (or five)?

*VIBRATES* MY TIME HAS COME. I absolutely have way too many picrews of my fellas so I won’t post them all, just two each for the core four of my main novel project. First, Euphranor:

(yes he is a Hufflepuff)

Kadri:

(also since I dragged the Hogwarts houses into this Kadri is Ravenclaw)

Ena:

(I put her in Gryffindor)

And finally, Fiera:

(Right now I have her in Slytherin. She could also be in Ravenclaw though)

7. Time to get serious for a bit. There’s been heavy debate on having non-human characters identify as ace, aro, non-binary, etc., but never actual humans. As someone who’s aspec, how would you explain to someone who’s allo why this can be and is seen as hurtful?

I mean, as a sci-fi fan I definitely love if the non-human characters are queer coded, but it’s definitely important to include human representation as well, and I think there are a few simple reasons for that. One is that queer people are, in fact, humans, and therefore our stories deserve to be told as they are in reality as well as how they could be in fiction. The other is only writing us as inhuman implies you consider our identities as fictitious or too strange for a human to have, and queer people already have to deal with other forms of erasure and invalidation in real life. (Also, not everyone is a fan of sci-fi/fantasy, and they should still be able to read stories where they can see themselves)

8. It’s a sad reality that many stories in mainstream media don’t have characters that are aspec, not to mention without resorting to harmful stereotypes. Besides there being nothing wrong with IDing as aspec, why did you choose to have your character ID as such? What would you tell other authors who’re interested in writing characters that are aspec, but are afraid of offending the community?

I have a huge list of aspec characters, which definitely started happening more once I was aware of my own asexuality (and later, aromanticism), since I realized that I could make my own aro and ace characters and then just went wild with it lol. It’s also easier for me to write since I can actually draw from personal experience somewhat for it. Beyond representation having aro and ace characters also allows you to explore more facets of human emotions/the human experience, so that’s always fun.

As for how I would advise allies looking to write a-spec characters, my main advice would be to remember that we are an incredibly diverse group of people, and so while no one a-spec character will resonate with every a-spec reader, an a-spec character written in good faith will definitely speak to some of us. Write them as an character first, and when it comes to things like how their attraction does or doesn’t work and what they want out of relationships, figure out what works best for them. Really, if you’re concerned your character would be offensive in some way you can always make a post asking about it, many of us are happy to offer constructive advice and appreciate that someone is wanting to put in the effort to write about our experiences. Reading or listening to anecdotes from an array of a-spec people is also a good way of getting ideas of how to portray us, and there are various resources for that (the tags, AUREA collects anecdotes from arospec individuals, and probably more than I can think of offhand)

9. If you’re comfortable with sharing, what is your characters’ identity? Do they use any microlabels? Does theirs reflect your own?

Unsurprisingly I have many characters who are aroace (Fiera is one of them), and Ena is bisexual and gray-aromantic. Kadri was originally supposed to just be bi/pan but has become increasingly aspec, will they end up gray-aro as well as grey-ace? Will they end up as a pan oriented aroace? I don’t know yet, but they sure are a pan a-spec. My most recent project has exclusively aro-spec protagonists, Valentine is aroace, Cedar is demiromantic, Raelene is cupioromantic, and then Clematis and Hadyn are presently just Aro and might stay that way. My aroace characters are often styled after my own aroace experiences, while other a-spec characters aren’t as much.

11. Why do you think that not just representation is important, but GOOD representation? Can you offer any examples?

Well, I think there are a few ways to make ‘good rep’. There is the ‘this character helps bring awareness/educate about the community’ and then there’s ‘this character just resonates with certain a-spec people a lot’, and the main reason I think it’s important is because rep should be for the people they’re representing. So if rep hurts the community or totally fails to be relatable to anyone who’s actually a-spec, then it missed the whole point and is doing just as much to leave the community feeling left in the dust as no rep. Of course things do get complicated when the community is divided on whether the rep is good or not, which I imagine will be a common occurrence, and many examples of rep probably fall into the grey area between Good and Bad, but generally people should aim to tell stories that will help more than hinder the people you are telling your story about. (Although I also think that the long term end goal is to get to the point where there is enough representation that it doesn’t matter if some of it is ‘bad’ or not, since I feel like that is the true state of normalization, but that is sadly not yet the case)

12. What’s the genre of your most recent story? Do you always write in this genre? If so, what other works do you have? If not, why did you pick it?

My most recent story (with Valentine) is fantasy, inspired by shoujo style anime series like Cardcaptor Sakura, while Euph’s story is more dystopian urban fantasy? His exact genre has shifted around a lot and will probably continue to do so. In general, most of my works are fantasy in some way or another. A few are more sci-fi or horror based, but definitely the majority are fantasy whether that be magical girl type stories, urban fantasy, superheroes, or dark fantasy.

14. What’s a brief biography of your character? Is their history, personality, and/or looks similar to your own?

I’m going to go with Fiera here. The short version of her backstory is that she and her older brother were born to neglectful parents, and while their grandmother was attentive emotionally she also lived far away. Her brother discovered magic, long thought forgotten, but killed himself shortly after, leaving Fiera alone and confused. She then made a point to dedicate herself to studying the theory and history of magic in the hope that she may someday understand why her brother would take his own life so suddenly like that. She has a down to earth personality and is very observant, and has a great deal of ambition and focus for tasks. She naturally has a more lighthearted and curious personality, but has become more somber since the death of her brother. While she always struggled with sustaining personal relationships, it’s only recently she started using her power of observation to be more manipulative and always keep a cool, pleasant demeanor. She has a love for fashion and sewing, as well as an interest in chemistry.

She isn’t really based on me at all backstory or appearance wise, and only slightly takes after me personality wise. Our main similarity is that we both can be quietly observant and don’t tend to get outwardly angry very often, and that we are both aroace. But I am nowhere near as focused as her, am terrible at lies/manipulation, and have different interests. I’m also way more prone to energetic rants and blunt statements than she is.

15. What are the themes of your story? Is it a lighthearted adventure, or are we talking deep, ocean-sized levels of angst? Why, or why not, did you choose them?

The tone of Euph’s story is kind of all over the place due to how often I’ve tweaked it, but there are certainly oceans of angst for all the protagonists. There’s just also decided remnants of the wacky humor from when the story was predominantly a comedy, and a lot more scenes of the characters just relaxing or goofing off than might be typical in a high tension drama adventure. My story with Valentine is generally much more lighthearted, though there will be some deeper moments for character development (and also because I want it to have a slightly gothic vibe, just Because)

16. How long have you been writing? Has your style changed from when you first began to now? What are some tips you’d give to those who’re interested in writing a story of their own, be it professionally or as a hobby?

I’ve been writing in some capacity just about as long as I can remember, and so my style has definitely taken various shifts depending on how old I was and what I was taking as my main inspiration at the time. Sometimes I went for more sarcastic and whimsical narration regardless of the events happening of the story, sometimes I went for a more quick modern-ish style, sometimes I would focus more or less on descriptions or dialogue. I don’t really know where I’m at right now though.

What I would advise to anyone wanting to sit down and write is to be patient and kind with yourself. Nine times out of ten what sounds epic in your head will come out at first as clunky and all over the place. But that is pretty much the whole purpose of first drafts; the clunky first draft crawls so the second draft may walk so the third draft may walk a little faster so the final draft may run. The other thing I would advise is to absolutely experiment, and see what works best for you. There is every kind of writing advice out there imaginable, much of it contradictory, so really you just have to mess around with styles and perspective and dialogue and see what happens, which stuff you liked and which stuff you didn’t.

17. What’s your process for writing? Do you plan your story out first, write whatever you want then edit later, or both? How might this help others?

My writing process is pretty much a mishmash of writing whatever comes to me, then planning, then writing, then using a bunch of character building exercises to have fun but make no progress in the plot, then neglect the project for months, then write some more or maybe plan. I don’t know how much this would help others, though I have found when I set goals with deadlines and some external pressure (nanowrimo, reward system implanted by friends, etc) I am far more productive, so perhaps that is something others could try if they struggle with staying on track?

18. Your book’s become quite popular, easily reaching the New York Times Bookseller list, and now, you’ve been picked to lead a writing workshop. It goes swimmingly, and afterward, someone comes and tells you that your book not only inspired them to write a story of their own, but also helped them discover and accept their identity. What’s your reaction?

Mostly I would just be flabbergasted, but also extremely pleased and honored to have been able to provide any kind of help or assistance to my readers.And I would feel very happy for the person, since that sort of inspiration is great to come by.

19. Are there any published stories out there that feature aspec characters that you also read? Do you have any suggestions?

Unfortunately not that I can think of! I am peripherally aware of some ace characters, but they aren’t in stories I personally consume. I hope to find more though!

20. Just for fun, write down a paragraph of your most recent writing. It can be an action-packed scene, some witty dialogue, or a colorful description that you really enjoyed. (Be sure to properly tag any possible triggers!)

Well, my most recent finished work would be the clunky first draft of my novel. So, here’s a silly conversation that entertained me to write:

Once they had bought the food, they went back to the park to eat. 

“You know, Fiera, I have come to a realization.” Kadri said.

“Oh? What’s that?” Fiera asked.

“Store snacks are not as filling as restaurant food, nor as refined, but they are decidedly addictive.” he said, munching on Twizzlers.

“Yep. That’s what makes them store snacks. Plus, I couldn’t get any really nice stuff. I’m not made of money.” Fiera explained.

“Which brings me to my next question, how exactly are you financing our meals? You don’t seem to work a job of any kind.” Kadri said. Fiera was almost surprised that he knew about jobs, but decided not to ask about it. 

“You’re right, I don’t. But my parents leave me about sixty bucks a week so that they can do what they want without me starving to death in their absence. After yesterday and just now, I’m down to like eight bucks, and the next payment comes in three days, so after this stash goes it's dollar store snacks only.” Fiera explained.

“I see. Fascinating. And these drinks you bought us, why are they vitamin drinks?” Kadri said,looking over a vitamin water curiously.

“Because we definitely aren’t going to get any vitamins from chips and candy.”  Fiera said simply.

“There is logic to that, I suppose.” he said. There was silence for a few moments.

“Um… Kadri?” Fiera said after a while.

“Yes, Fiera?” Kadri said.

“You know you can’t eat a whole bag of Twizzlers in one go, right?”  Fiera said.

“I don’t see why not. If it is not going to give me the nutrients I need, it may as well provide me with the maximum level of pleasure it is capable of.” Kadri said.

“Yeah, but you’ll get sick. And we have limited supplies.” Fiera countered. Kadri looked at the bag of Twizzlers in alarm.

“These are poisonous in large doses!?” he exclaimed.

“What? No, not poisonous, they just make you sick because they’re candy. All candy does that if you keep eating it.” Fiera said.

“Commoners lead dangerous lives, it would seem. I shall never forget this betrayal.” He said to the bag of Twizzlers, putting it down and taking the vitamin water instead. 

[daresplaining]

Could you maybe make a post with some of the most inspiring Daredevil pages? Stuff like him overcoming the Purple Man making him more depressed and hopeless in Waid's run, or the "I am Daredevil, and I am not Afraid." page from Soule's run. Those kind of pages always help me when I'm feeling down, it would be cool to see more in that vein.

    I love this request, and yes, I can definitely do that! I draw a lot of inspiration from Daredevil too (and superhero comics in general; that’s one of the purposes of the genre, in my experience), and refusing to give up when everything is falling apart is one of Matt’s trademark moves. Here are a few of my favorite moments– and I’m including the ones you mentioned, since I love them and want to make sure other people have seen them too. 

[ID: The Kingpin is brutally beating up Matt, who is in civvies. Matt falls on his back, his face bloody.]

Matt: “Never give up– never–”

Let’s start with a classic: 

[ID: Daredevil is fighting Namor. He tries electrocuting him, but the blast knocks him to the ground. As Namor walks away, Daredevil reaches out and grabs his ankle before passing out.]

Namor: “This is madness!! Does your own life mean nothing to you!?? Have you no sense of fear??”

Matt: “Sure! But I seem to have carelessly misplaced it somewhere! Now, just stand there for a second, fella– I want to try something!”

Caption: “Taking one last desperate gamble, Daredevil joins the two live wires, hoping to stagger his super-human foe! […] But, once again, the power of the Sub-Mariner is greater than any could suppose, and it is he who recovers first– while the Man Without Fear, despite his insulated gloves– lies weak, and dazed, and helpless…! Yet, how can one measure the limitless courage of a fellow human? Although on the brink of unconsciousness– although racked with pain and fatigue– still the sightless crusader reaches out–!”

Matt: “Come back! You– you mustn’t fight the others–! They’re innocent– mustn’t be harmed– mustn’t–!”

Namor: “[…] I have fought the Fantastic Four, the Avengers, and other super-powered humans, but none has been more courageous than he, the most vulnerable of all! And out of respect to the courage of Daredevil, I shall not injure any humans! I shall fly above the waiting armed forces– and return to the sea where I am supreme!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #7 by Stan Lee and Wally Wood

    The issue that introduced the red Daredevil costume also crafted one of the first memorable depictions of Matt’s boundless resilience. Namor the Sub-Mariner comes ashore to sue the human race, and hires Nelson and Murdock to represent him. When the situation goes awry, Namor becomes violent, and Matt tries to subdue him. While he gets thoroughly thrashed in this fight, Matt’s persistence impresses Namor enough to make him leave the human race alone (for now). That image of a nearly-unconscious Daredevil clinging to Namor’s ankle is fairly iconic, with– I feel– good reason. 

[ID: The Hulk backhands Daredevil a good distance, where he crashes into some trash cans. He is injured and bleeding, but he struggles back to his feet as the Hulk stands over him, deciding whether or not to finish him off.]

Hulk: “NO! Banner made the Hulk a monster and Hulk will find him, even if it takes forever!”

Matt: “Hulk… *koff*… you won’t find Banner… *koff*… this way. You can’t… *koff*… find Banner this way. The police… the authorities.. I-I want to help them understand… *koff*… and… *koff* … I want to help you. …But you’ll have to trust me.”

Daredevil vol. 1 #163 by Roger McKenzie, Frank Miller, and Glynis Wein

    This is, thematically, a very similar situation to the first scene. The Hulk goes on a rampage and Matt tries to stop him. Just as in the Namor situation, Matt loses this fight– he is nearly beaten to death, and is confined to a hospital bed for quite a while afterward– but his courage breaks through the Hulk’s rage enough to calm him down. This is a recurring theme in their friendship. Matt first meets Bruce Banner when he is hired to represent the Hulk in court, and from the beginning, Matt has been vocal in his support of Bruce and sympathy for the Hulk. Despite the danger, Matt never hesitates to put himself within smashing distance of the Hulk for the sake of helping him. 

[ID: A taxi is resting at the bottom of a river with its hood bashed in. Matt Murdock is unconscious in the front seat. We see a close-up of his eyes as they open in a defiant glare. The next few panels show the Kingpin standing at a window looking out, and photos of the cab after it has been pulled out of the river.]

Caption: “Unconscious but living, Murdock is placed in a stolen checker cab… The cab is driven off Pier 41 into the East River. Its safety belt and doors are corroded shut by a chemical process that is identical to rust. Murdock is drenched in whiskey. A bottle, open, is laid in his lap. The owner of the cab is beaten to death by Murdock’s stolen billy club. Days pass into weeks. Still Murdock is never far from the crimelord’s thoughts. He imagines one last, terrible moment of realization… of Murdock thrashing wildly, desperately, hatefully… screaming soundlessly into the poisoned water… The Kingpin shudders at the thought, in pleasure… The world seems flooded with sunlight. Daily business becomes a joyous, childlike game. He has disgraced, destroyed and murdered the only good man he has ever known. This is his triumph of the spirit.

“At last the cab is discovered. There is blood, and bloody evidence of a struggle. There is a shattered windshield… a safety belt, severed by the windshield’s glass and what must have been a hideous effort of will. There is no corpse.”

Daredevil vol. 1 #228 by Frank Miller, David Mazzucchelli, and R. Lewis

    This is, of course, from the famous “Born Again” arc, and I had a hard time choosing a scene, since the whole story is essentially a seven-issue-long depiction of Matt being knocked down and then standing back up. (I highly recommend reading it if anyone hasn’t, and I also summarized it here. I also cheated by including another scene at the beginning of this post…). However, the scene above is a turning point and possibly my favorite moment in the whole story. At this point Matt has lost it all: his friends, his career, his reputation, his money, and his home. In a fit of desperate, delirious anger, he attacks the Kingpin, who beats him unconscious and then– in the scene above– tries to kill him once and for all. The above issue starts with Matt curled up on a bed in a hotel room, unable to force himself to even move. He seems thoroughly beaten, and the Kingpin assumes the same, which is why he decides to stop toying with his victim and just finish the job. But in spite of all of this, Matt freaking Murdock refuses to die, and he somehow finds the strength to physically fight his way out of this seemingly unsurvivable situation. The fact that we don’t see him do it– that we only get the Kingpin’s reaction and that panel of Matt’s defiant glare after regaining consciousness– makes this act of resilience all the more powerful.       

[ID: Daredevil is fighting the Vulture (the Spider-Man villain). Daredevil pins him to the ground and starts punching him in the face.]

Matt: “A while ago, you said I secretly wanted to die. You were wrong. Cowards want to die. I’m no coward. I’m proving it– to you and to myself– by beating you… you– and everything you represent… the death and decay that eat away at a man until he surrenders… the horror that pulls you down into the pit! Well, I’m not the surrendering kind, mister! Got that? I never give up!”

Daredevil vol. 1 #225 by Denny O’Neil, David Mazzucchelli, and Ken Feduniewicz

    Matt is not at all a suicidal person (I’ve seen some fans claim otherwise, but he really isn’t), and this scene comes from a rare issue that covers that topic. It takes place shortly after Heather Glenn’s suicide, and it explores how the spectre of her death haunts Matt and Foggy’s lives afterward. In this story, the concept of death is represented by the Vulture, who Matt discovers trying to rob Heather’s grave. Later, he appears at the offices of Nelson and Murdock, which have just gone bankrupt. Upset by this loss, Foggy wanders up to the roof and contemplates his life, at which point he encounters the Vulture. Matt, fearing that Foggy might kill himself, goes up after him in costume and tries to fight the Vulture off. For a moment, during the fight, Matt contemplates whether he actually wants to lose, before returning to his senses and defeating both the Vulture and his own dark thoughts. 

[ID: Daredevil is fighting a huge crowd of grotesque-looking demons while carrying a lit torch. He holds up the torch and the demons scatter.] 

Matt: “My whole life, endless fighting. What a fate. I wonder, could I change that fate? No matter how many I kill, they keep on coming.”

Mephisto: “Ha ha ha ha ha! I love it! That’s it, you big hero. Keep fighting. Fight till you drop that torch.”

Matt: “What if… what if I just stopped? If I just stopped fighting. If you stop fighting, isn��t the fight over? Yes. Yes, yes, yes. They can’t touch me. Okay, Mephisto. I’m coming for you. You made a mistake. You believe your evil breaks a man. Sometimes it does. But when it doesn’t break a man– it makes him even stronger.”

Daredevil vol. 1 #281 by Ann Nocenti, John Romita Jr., and Christie Scheele

    This is from Matt’s literal trip to Hell in Nocenti’s run (Hell is a cosmic setting in the Marvel universe, and Mephisto is a recurring antagonist, so this isn’t quite as bizarre as it sounds…). While trapped in a seemingly endless wasteland and attacked by hoards of demons, Matt musters enough free will and spirit (as represented by the fire he’s carrying) to not only survive, but to actually challenge Mephisto. It’s great. 

[ID: Matt is crouched on the side of a building at night, in the rain. He is wearing the Daredevil suit but has taken the mask off. He puts his hand to his face in emotional anguish.] 

Matt: “I’ve got to pull myself together. My world is falling apart and I am helping it every single step of the way. I have to focus. Focus. Foggy is right. My entire life– everything is up for grabs. Everything I’ve built– everything I am– can be taken away from me. Have to center my energies. Have to think. Focus. Center and focus. Center and focus. Don’t listen to their camera motors and their cell phones. Don’t listen to them. The phone calls. All I hear is my name over and over: Murdock. Murdock, Murdock. That name is not theirs to say. It’s not theirs! It’s mine. They’re stealing it from me. No! Stop it. Center and focus. Center and focus. Center and–”

Mugging victim (off-panel): Noooo!”

Matt: “Focus.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #35 by Brian Michael Bendis, Alex Maleev, and Matt Hollingsworth

    I love this little moment from Bendis’s run. It’s small and subdued, but highly moving in the context of what Matt is dealing with in this story. His identity has been made public, there are crowds of reporters camped outside his home, his entire life is at risk of falling apart, but he takes this second to pause, think, and regain some sense of control.  

[ID: Matt stands up and prepares to fight. He is armed with two tonfa, and is wearing black clothes reminiscent of his Man Without Fear costume, but without a mask. His head is bandaged.]

Matt: “You think you can… turn me into a blubbering wreck… by preying on my fears… but I’ve already faced them– and come out the other side! You understand me, Calavera? I know what I am… who I am… and I am not afraid!”

Daredevil: Reborn #4 by Andy Diggle, Davide Gianfelice, and Matt Hollingsworth

    The Reborn mini-series follows Matt’s attempt at emotional recovery in the aftermath of “Shadowland”. Having quite literally lost his identity and had his spirit broken by getting possessed by a demon, he goes out west and, through helping right some wrongs in a small town in New Mexico, he reaffirms his sense of self.  

[ID: A stormy winter night. Ferry pilots (Sid and Ronnie, off-panel) are waiting for Daredevil to resurface from the river. As their ferry moves away, Daredevil hauls himself out of the freezing water and onto a dock.]

Sid: “It’s been a while, Ronnie– think he’s still down there?”

Ronnie: “Sid– you a moron? Where else would he be?”

Sid: “Beats me. Just askin’. It’s too bad– looks like he went back down there for nothin’. ‘Cept maybe to die.”

Ronnie: “Well, I’m not givin’ up just yet.”

Sid: “No? Why not?”

Ronnie: “’Cause I don’t think he would.”

Daredevil: Dark Nights #2 by Lee Weeks and Lee Loughridge

    The first Dark Nights story is a celebration of Matt’s willpower, as he travels through a blizzard to deliver a heart transplant to a dying little girl. I particularly love this scene, in which Matt dives into the river to rescue the heart and the pilots transporting it from their crashed helicopter, and despite the cold and his exhaustion, he powers through and survives the experience.

[ID: Daredevil is bleeding and horribly injured, and crouched in the mud under a bridge. The Purple Man is standing above him, about to hit him with a plank of wood.]

Purple Man: “Shouldn’t you be angry? Shouldn’t you put up a struggle?”

Matt (caption): “But that’s how far down the pit I’ve fallen. I can’t even respond to his orders. 

Purple Man: “Come on. This is too easy. Don’t rob me of a victory I’ve waited years for.”

Matt (caption): “All I can do is sink into the blackness. I can’t feel pain. I can’t  move because I have nothing to push against. Nothing.”

Purple Man: “Show me some fear.”

[ID: Daredevil kicks the Purple Man, then falls back to his knees. ]

Matt (caption): “That. That, I know how to fight. Get up. You have momentum now. Don’t lose it. Don’t let the shadows pull you back in. Inertia is the enemy. Do something. Move. Move, Matthew.”

Daredevil vol. 4 #10 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Matt Wilson

    I’m glad you mentioned this scene because it’s one of my favorites too, as is this story arc as a whole. Waid’s depiction of depression is visceral and heartrending because it’s something he himself suffers from, and that realism makes Matt’s struggle to move forward and fight against his despair all the more impactful.  

    As an extension of the above moment, Matt’s decision to talk with Kirsten at the end of the issue (which I discussed at length here) is also breathtaking.  

[ID: A black page with a red heart monitor readout at the bottom. It flatlines, then spikes once.]

Matt (caption): “I cannot see the light. So I will be the light. I am Daredevil. And I am not afraid.”

Daredevil vol. 5 #612 by Charles Soule and Phil Noto

    And this moment– there’s nothing more badass than Matt literally willing himself back to life! “I am Daredevil. And I am not afraid” is a refrain that is repeated throughout Soule’s run, which is a neat way of tying his run together and emphasizing Matt’s relentless determination. 

[ID: Matt is alone in a gym, struggling to walk between two parallel bars. He falls, then, with a huge effort, pulls himself back up.]

Jack (off-panel): “Fear’s of no use to us, Matt. We have to live with it, but it’s not for anything. But pain? What’s pain for, Matt? What’s pain for?”

Matt: “Pain keeps us going.”

Man Without Fear vol. 2 #5 by Jed MacKay, Danilo Beyruth, and Andres Mossa

    The new Man Without Fear was another great recovery story, and gave us this really great moment when Matt, after suffering through the physical and emotional destruction of being hit by a truck, finally regains his fighting spirit.

    I also wanted to include a few scenes of other people being inspired by Matt’s courage and resilience, because there are some great ones. Here’s one of my favorites, from Waid’s run:

[ID: Foggy is sitting in a circle with a group of fellow cancer patients. They are all wearing Daredevil shirts.]

Foggy: “Ah, excellent. You all dressed for the occasion. I’ll be straight up with you folks. I have a friend. He’s probably the bravest man I’ve ever met. And no matter how much I beg him to teach me to be like him… in the whole time I’ve known him, I’ve learned only one thing about fearlessness: it’s contagious.”

Daredevil vol. 3 #31 by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Javier Rodriguez

    I love this aspect of Foggy’s cancer plotline– the fact that Foggy uses Matt as a source of inspiration for facing his own fear. These two have always been emotional anchors for each other, providing moral support and guidance in difficult times, and that’s part of what makes their friendship so powerful. Here, Foggy is largely on his own. Matt can’t punch cancer, and Foggy doesn’t even tell him about the symptoms at first. But from the very beginning, Foggy latches onto Matt’s fearlessness as a way of fending off his own terror about the diagnosis. As I said at the beginning of the post, part of the purpose of superhero stories is to serve as inspiration for their readers to be kind and courageous in their own lives, and it’s wonderful when characters within those stories are impacted in that same way by the superheroes around them. To take this concept one meta step further, Foggy’s cancer story– the whole thing, including his drawing strength from his best friend– is in itself a hero story for readers who may be going through similar experiences. 

[ID: Flashback panels colored in black and white with hints of red. Matt (in civvies) is attacked by a group of ninjas on a city street. He fights them while Foggy runs and hides around a corner.]

Foggy (caption): “When you were around, it was different. The fear wasn’t so real. I was still freaked whenever anything happened… my nerves were a car wreck… but even as I was sweating bullets, I somehow knew I was safe. Because of you.”

Daredevil vol. 2 #88 by Ed Brubaker, Michael Lark, David Aja, and Frank D’Armata

    …And another great Foggy and Matt scene, this one from “The Secret Life of Foggy Nelson”, one of my favorite issues of Brubaker’s run. Foggy has been separated from Matt against his will, and in his isolation and fear, he reflects on their friendship and draws strength from Matt’s example. 

[ID: Luke Cage is sitting comfortably in a chair, legs crossed, directly addressing the reader.]

Luke: “Daredevil. I know him pretty well, actually. Well, as well as he lets anyone know him. End of the day, without question, he’s one of the best. Ever. I’m not going to get into who he is and how he became who he became. And I know there are a lot of people who think they know all there is to know about Daredevil and all of his secrets. But I can tell you from personal experience that the information that’s out there about him is pretty much crap. Let’s just leave it at that. All you need to know about Daredevil is that this man has sacrificed everything to try to make this city safer. He has lost more and suffered more for his dedication to you than, well, anybody I know. And I know some people who’ve suffered and lost. He ain’t the strongest of us, and he ain’t the flashiest… but Daredevil cannot be brought down. It cannot happen.”

New Avengers vol. 2 #16 by Brian Michael Bendis, Mike Deodato, and Rain Beredo

    And last but not least, here an excerpt from a great speech Luke Cage gives after Matt joins the Avengers. Even other superheroes– all of whom tend toward superhuman resilience– are impressed by Matt.  

[starryrogue]

Hey. Below the cut is a LONG (2 page google docs) rant on being a gay sff book fan and the intersection of being a gay man in m/m spaces and book stuff. Just me ranting into the internet void. probs gonna delete this later so dont reblog/ or @ me or w/e

Before I get started, a disclaimer. This is a series of observations and rants based on my lived experience as a gay man in book and fan spaces. This isn't a formal critique or callout or call for action. Just an expression of confusion, frustration and desire. This isn’t me trying to dictate who can read and write and express m/m fiction. This isn't me saying “How dare women find enjoyment in things” since shaming women for “liking thing” is a long and complicated history. None of this has been checked for numbers and stats. There are a lot of generalizations below. There are probably more lgbt people engaging than I perceive. THERE IS A LOT OF GENERALIZING. This isnt an argument or formal essay.   I emphasize, this is me, a gay man, ranting and reflecting on my experience. Now that we have that out of the way

On a fundamental level, M/M book spaces are predominantly women filled. Starting at the top of the process, authors (check goodreads), Publishing (my industry and the results of a recent survey showing employment stats in publishing), Readers and engagement (harder to say stat wise but checking goodreads comments), and Fandom (more just a lived experience) are mostly women . So as a Gay Dude its confusing. On one hand, I feel kind of if I'm entering a space not meant for me, a man entering a women’s. But on the other hand my identity is the subject of so much work, both properly published and fanwork. Is this a space I can enter? 

Why is this the case? Why are women writing about this? Why is it finding an audience with other women? Is it a result of all of the above aspects just being woman heavy and it's a statistical result that most genre fiction being written/read by women? Fandom, shipping and M/M zines and fic are historically not led by men? Why? At the inception of fan culture, were there gay men engaging in shipping and using that as an avenue to explore male sexuality? Why have I only heard of fandom moms and not dads? 

Please read none of these as acuistory. I am generally inquisitive and would like an answer with historical context and data. Again, it's hard finding a balance between being a man commenting/genrailizing on a genre/hobby predominaltey for women and also being gay and wanting to engage in M/M content since again, its part of my identity being reprisented and commented on. Obviously not all the people i'm generalizing are straight, or cis. There are probably a lot of wlw, trans and nb people in these circles but I can't imagine it's the majority.I’m worried this might come off as misogynistic?

But then comes the real life scenario where I go to Scifi/fantasy book events that feature mlm leads and relationships and at a glance) I’m like one of 3 guys in a room of straight women? (again, generalizing) and I think, “why are y’all here? I'm here b/c I’m gay, and this book is gay? What are you getting out of this relationship? Where are my Gay SFF bros?”

A lot of YA SFF M/M content seems to be coming from author moving out of fan spaces, using fic as a way to practice their craft. Is this an equivalent of stright bro enjoying lesbian porn? Maybe not in YA SFF but BL/Yaoi has alway been pretty for women, by women? What about all the Mass Market romance? Straight up romance and smut between guys? Is it enjoyable b/c its two dudes making out and the author and audience are attracted to men so why not make it two men? Is it the “cultural taboo” around gayness that makes it hot? In all fairness I’ve only read 2 or 3 Mass Market/Ebook gay romances and they were Okay (like 7/10ish?) but that's not a good sample size. Again, why are women/ straight or otherwise getting to depict and dominate a market about gay men? I really suspect that women who are into men drastically out number MLM and also women being into men has been less stigmatized (Generally) than men depicting gay romance and sex. 

I wrote a post about being a gay man and liking love between men for a masculine. A kind or romance and intimacy seeped in masculinity kind of  thing and a lot the likes I got (or could identify) were women. As a gay dude i want to intereact with other MLM about M/M media since like this is suppsoed to be depiciting our kind of sex and romance but it hard to find any? (I'm not looking craaaazy hard but it's frustrating that its not a default) but where are the mlm talking about gay relationships on tumblr and goodreads?

I’m not trying to dictate who can write and read and publish this stuff. It's just isolating. There are a couple things I could go on about like depictions of mlm in shipping culture or like why all the top Tapas comics are BL but I think that's a separate issue. 

And now for some content rant 

As far as canon m/m content in books, up until recently it came in 3 flavors. Literary Tragedy, YA coming out Angst, and Mass Market Romance. Comics are a little better but not by much. Growing up I had like Magnus/Alec in that C.Claire series and Wallace Wells from Scott Pilgram and I think that was it. There has been a recent move in Sci-fi Fantasy (SFF) to be more diverse but generally its a lot of YA with a little less coming out angst. All my faves are still genreally written by women but I think the queer women and NB authors do it best IMO. 

I love SFF, but also I’m an adult so I am aging out of YA. Also YA coming out stuff especially contemporary is an easy way to get me anxious AF. Long story short, being a gay teen is tough and Id preferer not to relive coming out. I wish I had things like Carry On and How to repair a Mechanical Heart as a teen, but alas, I did not. Not that these books have no value, just there is still a gap in the market fot gay adult genre fiction(also why are straight women depicting coming out stories? Altruism?)

Give me that adult genre fiction with a gay romance b-plot please. (shout out to TOR for being market leaders but i need to do a deeper dive into indie presses). Shout out to things like Witchmark and Amberlough and The Last Sun. All great SFF stories in other worlds and full of magic and plot but also, dudes kissing. The one thing is gay authors have a tendecy to make thier books have darker topics like abuse, sexual assult/rape, homophonia, hard core drugs and violence, which i’m not going to deny. Let authors navigate the waers of gay culture in thier art. But I just want to read things like Juno Steel, queer AF but none of the homophbia and trauma attached. These asks are purely self interested, but I know there is a market for it.

(Also, there is this weird trend of Homophobia-Lite ™ where we arnt going to have the characters be bullied or outed or beaten/disowned but they need to “grow up” and get wives and families. Which on one hand is not great but on the other hand I like the way it reflects the lived experience of being ashmaed of your secuality but without the harsher traumas of the world. Its like me being gay in NYC in an artsy inudsrty. No one realy cares I’m gay and out but there are still little things that give me pause and some shame b/c interlized homophbia is a think. I think the SFF book makes it the best of both worlds of exploring homophobia without the darker themes. Ok end sidebar)

I have more thoughts on podcast content and fan spaces/shipping culture but this rant is already long. So I’ll leave it here. 

Probs gonna delete this after a day or 2. This was mostly an exercise for screaming into the void at some gay nerd frustrations. This rant is not without flaws or critique. But again, just a rant. A gay dudes nerdy rant about fantasy books. 

[wikipediathefreeencyclopedia]

compilation of my favorite otp prompts 4

tag

Established Relationship AUs [x]

We’ve been celebrating our wedding anniversary on the wrong day for the past nine years AU

just some ‘how they met’ AUs [x]

‘my dad invited me to go on a fishing trip with him and his buddies and I hate water and can’t swim but I don’t wanna crush my dad’s feelings and he said his friend’s son was coming too, so I’m kind of hoping he’s cool’ and ‘I fell into the water and you were the only sober one who was able to save me’

‘we were waiting in line for the FerrisWheel and your friend decided last minuet he didn’t want to ride and backed out, so we got jammed into the same kart together AND THEN the ride got stuck while we were at the top, but you aren’t so bad to be around for two hours…lets go ride more shit together’

'the cops showed up to a party we were at and chased everyone away. You and I happened to run in the opposite direction of all our friends and got lost in some dark and creepy street.’

more au ideas no one asked for [x]

“you’re super short and i’m sorry but it’s really really cute whenever you try to reach that book on the top shelf here lemme help you- oh no don’t be embarrassed, your face is all red and you’re even more adorable now i am going to die” au

“i’m a biker and one day i was biking in your neighborhood while you just happened to be outside watering the plants and since you’re so goddamn cute i accidentally steered into a pole and now you’re giving me first aid (holy shit you’re even cuter up close)” au

“you’re biking through my neighborhood and you ran into a pole so now i’m really concerned and patching you up, oh my gosh you’re really hot even though you have a bloody nose” au

“i’m at a karaoke bar and i’m sober enough to realize that your voice singing my absolute favorite song is the most beautiful thing i’ve ever heard, and you caught me staring and winked at me oh shit” au

“you invited me to your brother’s/sister’s wedding as a plus one bc we’re hella best friends but we end up making out at the afterparty and now everyone thinks we’re fucking so uh,, u wanna go out for a drink sometime? try this whole couple thing out?” au

“my mom/sister/dad/brother/best friend doesn’t know we’re dating but one day he/she/they walked in on us making out and started cheering oh my god this is so embarrassing i’m so sorry” au

“dude why did that siren take on my image to try and seduce you, is there something you wanna tell me” au

“my friends dared me to buy 20 condoms but i didn’t realize that the cute cashier would be working tonight so i avoided eye contact as i piled them onto the counter and please stop laughing so hard, oh my god it’s for a dare okay i’ve never had sex in my life and once you stopped laughing, i swear i fell in love with that sparkle in your eye as you grinned wildly at me and asked me out for a drink” au

Well, this is awkward AUs [x]

“I sneaked in to this huge house party for some free food but you asked me how I knew the host and the first excuse I could think of was that I’m dating their sibling, so basically I just lied to you about going out with you” au

post breakup AUs [x]

“today was the first family gathering i’ve been to since we broke up and my little cousin that absolutely adored you asked where you were and i had to lock myself in the bathroom and sit in the tub for a half an hour and look through a folder on my phone of pictures i took of you to feel okay again” AU

“i still have your phone number memorized even though i haven’t called you since we split and somehow i remembered it even though i’ve had like six shots of bourbon and hey, i know you’re pissed that you’re here at this dingy club at 3 in the morning to pick my drunk ass up, but you have to admit that’s pretty impressive” AU

“oh hi, totally didn’t expect to see you here at this one hole in the wall coffee shop literally no one in the entire world besides you knows about. what a coincidence.” AU

“it´s my [insert family relation here]´s wedding and seeing all these happy couples is killing me and all i can think about is how this was almost us” AU (bonus: “i know that it’s two in the morning and i’m dressed really formally and a little (a lot) bit drunk but i couldn’t stop thinking about you after my grandma asked how you were doing also can i come in it’s freezing out here”)

“we have a lot of mutual friends so we see each other more than two broken up people usually do and i know we’re not really close anymore but you’re wearing that stupid (adorable) hat you always wore when you were upset so tell me what’s wrong because it’s literally killing me to see you look so sad” AU

“i found your box of letters underneath my bed last night and because i’m a nosy motherfucker i decided to read them and it turns out they were all addressed to me and the last one was dated the day you moved out and i’m not quite sure why i thought this would be a good idea but here i am, standing on your doorstep, wondering why the fuck we’re not together anymore” AU

otp fic prompts [x]

i had the weirdest dream about you and now i can’t stop imagining what you’d look like naked

you’re at the cinema alone and so am i we might as well sit together and i swear i didn’t think there was anyone else in this universe who appreciates this movie like i do 

i hooked up with you at my sister’s wedding 5 years ago and now i’ve gotta track you down because i can’t stop thinking about you

we watched the fireworks together on new year’s eve even though you’re a complete stranger like i didn’t even get your name ??

OTP Prompts - Post Break-up [x]

“I’m still in love with you, and I probably always will be, but I thought you wanted to break up, so I broke up with you. Now, it’s a year later, and you’re telling me you were about to propose?”

“I never told my extended family that we broke up, and now they want to know when you’re coming over for dinner again.”

“I didn’t mean to tell you I still loved you, but now we’re standing here awkwardly, and I should probably just go.”

“I thought you broke up with me, so I haven’t spoken to you in a year, but apparently there was a serious miscommunication, because you thought I broke up with you. Well, this is as good a time as any to tell you I still love you.”

things to imagine with your otp [x]

one of them falls in love first before the other and has to try and be super chill and casual around them but oh fuck they just brushed hands

one of them by themselves but throughout the day they see little things that remind them of the other and they just randomly start smiling

trying to make a gift or do something special for the other but getting super embarrassed when giving it to them so they just leave it on a table and run away

star-gazing, flower festivals and making out behind dingy diners on a road trip

SOME WEIRD STUFF I NEED TO LIVE [x]

you work at the shitty overpriced coffee shop that only gets business because it’s nearest the university and I hate the coffee and get tea every time because at least you know how to make a good raspberry tea but I come in at odd hours and you always look exhausted, oh no you just fell to the ground crying about how you were supposed to open a gourmet cupcake shop, are you okay????

Aus I need [x]

I tried asking this person on the street for directions, but before they could even answer you pointed down the street and told me where to go. Turns out you were heading that way too and we end up walking together awkwardly for a bit. 

We’re in a huge crowd to watch fireworks/a show, and there’s no more room on the lawn except right next to you and your blanket. I forgot to bring one, and you invite me to share yours with you.

I’m making balloon animals for children at this farmer’s market/fair, and you come up with a friend who asks for a kitty. You are enamored with the motorcycle I was making just for fun, and I can’t help being charmed by your enthusiasm and give it to you for free. 

AUs to consider [x]

“i don’t want to go alone to my ex’s wedding and our mutual friend said you’re free that night” au

(could combine/mix it with this amazing comic)

“you accidentally left your ID in a library book” au

“i’ve never met you before but i went to a huge party at your house with my significant other - who then proceeded to dump me” au

Imagine your OTP [x]

Person A comforting person B through a stormy night

Helping each other in certain subjects for school.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Cheeseburgers

The Infinity Saga is over. The MCU is moving forward into uncharted waters. Disney+ has pushed back certain shows and moved up WandaVision. Black Widow finally has a well deserved movie, postmortem. The future is wide open but, before we get on a brand new pain train, i wanted to take a look back and talk about some of my favorite movies from the first eleven years of the MCU.

Avengers: Infinity War

This movie, man, is probably peak MCU. There are better films in the series but you’ll be hard-pressed to find a film that walks the line of comic book and cinema to deftly. This is the penultimate tale for that first decade and what a f*cking climax it was. Holy sh*t! There was just so much good in this film, from character development to visual flair to legitimate stakes. I’m a massive Marvel fan and i am well aware of the Infinite Gauntlet saga in the comics but seeing this sh*t? Seeing Thanos actually Snap? I never though in a million years that would happen onscreen. And then it did. It was at that point i absolutely knew the MCU was about that life. I knew to expect the unexpected because , with the wealth of the Marvel universe to draw from, they were going to craft some motherf*ckers of stories.

Like, I f*cking cried when Pete got dusted. I shed legitimate tears and I’m not even embarrassed to say it out loud. For a film to move me like that? and it’s not Forrest Gump? Motherf*cker had to be on point, for sure. The entire theater was silent as those strings hummed and Thanos sat on his farm, smiling contently. I had never experienced that before The entire auditorium - completely silent. We were in disbelief. We were in mourning. I saw Infinity War in theaters four times and literally every time, the same thing happened. In two hours and some change, Marvel had gave a theater full of people straight emotional trauma. Your movie has to be absolutely on point for that to occur.

Speaking of Thanos, yo, how was this big ass purple grimace looking motherf*cker one of the best antagonists of film, period? How was this cat written so well? I lost my sh*t when they teased him at the end of Avengers and that little bit we got of him in Guardians was cool but i was not prepared for how goddamn formidable he turned out to be. Josh Brolin brought this character to life but the writing gave me real agency. I was flabbergasted by how great this character turned out to be. Thanos felt real. He felt flawed. He felt legitimate. Id have to put him up there with The Dark Knight Joker and Hans Landa as one of the best antagonists ever.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

I adore Spider-Man. Ive written at length about that love. He’s the reason i even picked up that Marvel comic all those years ago. I’ve seen every cinematic iteration of Webhead and i mst say, this portrayal is the truest to the source material i have ever seen. Cats get on the MCU about making him Tony Stark jr. but most people don’t understand that’s where he was going anyway. Most people don’t know that, in the comics, he’s basically Reed Richards jr. and since the MCU has no Reed, Tony is a pretty smart substitute. But that argument is inconsequential because the core of who Spider-Man is, the actual spirit of the character, has been captured so perfectly by this version of Pete, it’s borderline miraculous. I love Tobey McGuire’s take in Pete because he was the first to do it. Kind of like how i have such nostalgia for the 89 Batman. That version of Spider-Man felt like the old Lee/Ditko version from the 60s. Andrew Garfield was adequate. He didn’t get a fair shake though, mostly barbecue the writing in his run was so goddamn terrible. But this new kid? This casting was as perfect as RDJ was to Iron Man.

Tom Holland kills it as Spider-Man. His version of the character feels right. It feels modern. It feels like Ultimate Pete but grounded in the spirit of the 90s cartoon version. He’s this massive geek, this kid really, granted power in tragedy and it feels so goddamn authentic, i couldn’t believe it. The second he showed u in Civil War, i absolutely knew Underoos was about to be a star in these films and that is saying a lot considering how loaded this cast has become. Homecoming was the first film we got to see Pete stretch his legs and it was f*cking brilliant. Everything about this movie is what a great Spider-Flick should be and the MCU nailed it! if i never got another Spidey appearance, this movie was more than enough to sate my appetite. Homecoming is my second favorite MCU movie. I loved every second of it!

Also, how about that Aunt May stinger, though?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Look, i love the Dark Knight. For me, that is the pinnacle of a capeflick. That movie was a great crime thriller first, a Batflick second. Nolan approached it with a grounded sense of reality that left you, as an audience, breathless. It is one of the best films i have ever seen in my entire life and Ledger gave one of the most brilliant performances ever captured on celluloid. There is nothing as good as that film in the MCU. The Winter Soldier comes f*cking close, though. This movie made me sit up and realize that the MCU had some teeth. Until this thing came out, i thought we were going to get a bunch of flamboyant costumes and snarky Wedonisms. I wasn’t mad, mind you, Avengers was dope, but Winter Soldier took all that campy bullsh*t out back and murdered it. This movie was the MCU growing up and almost everything afterward has been brilliant. The Winter Soldier forced everyone to step their game up with how goddamn brilliant it turned out to be. I can’t say there were any performances as great as Ledger’s Joker but i can make the argument the overall writing was better than The Dark Knight, and that is stupid high praise.

Guardians of the Galaxy

This film has no right to be as good as it is. I went into this thing on a whim, mostly because I thought it was going ti be filler like Ant-Man or something, and then it wasn’t. It was great. Legitimately great. I had no idea the MCU could take a C-rate team like the goddamn Guardians and uplift them so beautifully. James Gunn took those characters and wrote the best Star Wars film since f*cking Empire and I didn’t think that was possible, not with this wayward branch of Marvel History. Seriously, if you do even a minuscule amount of research on who the Guardians are, they’re a joke. I mean, they have a f*cking talking Raccoon on the team! Gunn had the wherewithal to lean into that and he produced one of the best in the entire MCU. He took these loser clowns and injected so much emotion  and humanity into them, you couldn’t help but love their rag-tag asses. This was the first MCU movie to move me to tears. That stuff about Quills mom? I felt that. Both times. On an extremely personal level. I was the young Quill. I watched my grandma, the only person who i believe loved me unconditionally up to that point, die just like Quill’s mom; Cancer and everything. I was about his age when it happened, too. That sh*t f*cked me up. To this day, i have nightmares about it. Seeing that sh*t so accurately captured in a capeflick was the most for me and I legit had to leave the theater until the first part of the movie passed. To this day, i can’t watch that scene. I can just barely make it through the Dance of to Save Th Universe, but that opening gambit? No way. It hits way too close to home for me. Still, for a comic book movie to solicit such a response? It has to be special and Guardians is one of the best.

Iron Man

Boy, we’ve come a long way since Tony Stark uttered those fateful word, “I am Iron Man.” But none of these other films would even have the opportunity to exist if he hadn't said them. Iron Man had the tall order of being the first, proper, MCU film AND compete with The Dark Knight. N one thought a film about B-List superhero, narcissistic billionaire, and straight up lush, Tony Stark, would amount to anything. How wrong everyone turned out to be. I knew, from that second i saw the teaser and concept art by Adi Granov, that Marvel was taking this sh*t crazy serious. Then there’s the casting of Robert Downey Jr. That sh*t was a boon, for real. The entire cast of this first film was impeccable but RDJ makes this movie. He IS Tony Stark. Even before he got comfortable with the character like in the later films, fresh out the box with the scripts, you can tell he knows how to bring this tinkerer to life. You had to nail that aspect in order to have any chance to  build something great and Marvel hit a goddamn bullseyes, for sure. Revisiting this flick, Iron Man isn’t as good as the later films in the Infinity Saga but it still holds up against the vast majority of entries and that’s saying something.

I love these films, man. As a geek growing up reading these stories, reenacting them with their action figures, sitting glued to the television every Saturday as their cartoons aired, I never imagined id see such a berth of fantastic media brought to life on the silver screen. Seriously, some of my favorite interpretations of these characters appear exclusive in the MCU. War Machine, Thor until recently, Ant-Man, f*cking Hulk? i never gave these assholes the time of day in the comics but in the MCU? They’re fantastic! And it has everything to do with how well written they are in-universe. There are over twenty films in this run an i love all of them to varying extents. Spider-Man: Far From Home, Black Panther, Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Endgame, Thor: Ragnarok, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 all could have made this list. For sure, they’re 6 - 11 or whatever, but that speaks to the sheer depth of the MCU. I’m not even counting flicks i would consider B-tier like Captain Marvel or Avengers or Iron Man 3 or Doctor Strange; All of which are still dope in their own right.

There is just SO much great in these films and i can’t wait to see where we go next. With Disney acquiring Fox, Marvel finally has the full toy box to play with and i am absolutely a tizzy with the potential arcs they can adapt. Secret Wars? Annihilation? Age of Apocalypse? Avengers Disassembled? Dark Reign? F*cking Onslaught?? I have no idea where we are going but i am, for sure, jumping on this pain train once again.

[smokeybrand]

Cheeseburgers

The Infinity Saga is over. The MCU is moving forward into uncharted waters. Disney+ has pushed back certain shows and moved up WandaVision. Black Widow finally has a well deserved movie, postmortem. The future is wide open but, before we get on a brand new pain train, i wanted to take a look back and talk about some of my favorite movies from the first eleven years of the MCU.

Avengers: Infinity War

This movie, man, is probably peak MCU. There are better films in the series but you’ll be hard-pressed to find a film that walks the line of comic book and cinema to deftly. This is the penultimate tale for that first decade and what a f*cking climax it was. Holy sh*t! There was just so much good in this film, from character development to visual flair to legitimate stakes. I’m a massive Marvel fan and i am well aware of the Infinite Gauntlet saga in the comics but seeing this sh*t? Seeing Thanos actually Snap? I never though in a million years that would happen onscreen. And then it did. It was at that point i absolutely knew the MCU was about that life. I knew to expect the unexpected because , with the wealth of the Marvel universe to draw from, they were going to craft some motherf*ckers of stories.

Like, I f*cking cried when Pete got dusted. I shed legitimate tears and I’m not even embarrassed to say it out loud. For a film to move me like that? and it’s not Forrest Gump? Motherf*cker had to be on point, for sure. The entire theater was silent as those strings hummed and Thanos sat on his farm, smiling contently. I had never experienced that before The entire auditorium - completely silent. We were in disbelief. We were in mourning. I saw Infinity War in theaters four times and literally every time, the same thing happened. In two hours and some change, Marvel had gave a theater full of people straight emotional trauma. Your movie has to be absolutely on point for that to occur.

Speaking of Thanos, yo, how was this big ass purple grimace looking motherf*cker one of the best antagonists of film, period? How was this cat written so well? I lost my sh*t when they teased him at the end of Avengers and that little bit we got of him in Guardians was cool but i was not prepared for how goddamn formidable he turned out to be. Josh Brolin brought this character to life but the writing gave me real agency. I was flabbergasted by how great this character turned out to be. Thanos felt real. He felt flawed. He felt legitimate. Id have to put him up there with The Dark Knight Joker and Hans Landa as one of the best antagonists ever.

Spider-Man: Homecoming

I adore Spider-Man. Ive written at length about that love. He’s the reason i even picked up that Marvel comic all those years ago. I’ve seen every cinematic iteration of Webhead and i mst say, this portrayal is the truest to the source material i have ever seen. Cats get on the MCU about making him Tony Stark jr. but most people don’t understand that’s where he was going anyway. Most people don’t know that, in the comics, he’s basically Reed Richards jr. and since the MCU has no Reed, Tony is a pretty smart substitute. But that argument is inconsequential because the core of who Spider-Man is, the actual spirit of the character, has been captured so perfectly by this version of Pete, it’s borderline miraculous. I love Tobey McGuire’s take in Pete because he was the first to do it. Kind of like how i have such nostalgia for the 89 Batman. That version of Spider-Man felt like the old Lee/Ditko version from the 60s. Andrew Garfield was adequate. He didn’t get a fair shake though, mostly barbecue the writing in his run was so goddamn terrible. But this new kid? This casting was as perfect as RDJ was to Iron Man.

Tom Holland kills it as Spider-Man. His version of the character feels right. It feels modern. It feels like Ultimate Pete but grounded in the spirit of the 90s cartoon version. He’s this massive geek, this kid really, granted power in tragedy and it feels so goddamn authentic, i couldn’t believe it. The second he showed u in Civil War, i absolutely knew Underoos was about to be a star in these films and that is saying a lot considering how loaded this cast has become. Homecoming was the first film we got to see Pete stretch his legs and it was f*cking brilliant. Everything about this movie is what a great Spider-Flick should be and the MCU nailed it! if i never got another Spidey appearance, this movie was more than enough to sate my appetite. Homecoming is my second favorite MCU movie. I loved every second of it!

Also, how about that Aunt May stinger, though?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Look, i love the Dark Knight. For me, that is the pinnacle of a capeflick. That movie was a great crime thriller first, a Batflick second. Nolan approached it with a grounded sense of reality that left you, as an audience, breathless. It is one of the best films i have ever seen in my entire life and Ledger gave one of the most brilliant performances ever captured on celluloid. There is nothing as good as that film in the MCU. The Winter Soldier comes f*cking close, though. This movie made me sit up and realize that the MCU had some teeth. Until this thing came out, i thought we were going to get a bunch of flamboyant costumes and snarky Wedonisms. I wasn’t mad, mind you, Avengers was dope, but Winter Soldier took all that campy bullsh*t out back and murdered it. This movie was the MCU growing up and almost everything afterward has been brilliant. The Winter Soldier forced everyone to step their game up with how goddamn brilliant it turned out to be. I can’t say there were any performances as great as Ledger’s Joker but i can make the argument the overall writing was better than The Dark Knight, and that stupid is high praise.

Guardians of the Galaxy

This film has no right to be as good as it is. I went into this thing on a whim, mostly because I thought it was going ti be filler like Ant-Man or something, and then it wasn’t. It was great. Legitimately great. I had no idea the MCU could take a C-rate team like the goddamn Guardians and uplift them so beautifully. James Gunn took those characters and wrote the best Star Wars film since f*cking Empire and I didn’t think that was possible, not with this wayward branch of Marvel History. Seriously, if you do even a minuscule amount of research on who the Guardians are, they’re a joke. I mean, they have a f*cking talking Raccoon on the team! Gunn had the wherewithal to lean into that and he produced one of the best in the entire MCU. He took these loser clowns and injected so much emotion  and humanity into them, you couldn’t help but love their rag-tag asses. This was the first MCU movie to move me to tears. That stuff about Quills mom? I felt that. Both times. On an extremely personal level. I was the young Quill. I watched my grandma, the only person who i believe loved me unconditionally up to that point, die just like Quill’s mom; Cancer and everything. I was about his age when it happened, too. That sh*t f*cked me up. To this day, i have nightmares about it. Seeing that sh*t so accurately captured in a capeflick was the most for me and I legit had to leave the theater until the first part of the movie passed. To this day, i can’t watch that scene. I can just barely make it through the Dance of to Save Th Universe, but that opening gambit? No way. It hits way too close to home for me. Still, for a comic book movie to solicit such a response? It has to be special and Guardians is one of the best.

Iron Man

Boy, we’ve come a long way since Tony Stark uttered those fateful word, “I am Iron Man.” But none of these other films would even have the opportunity to exist if he hadn't said them. Iron Man had the tall order of being the first, proper, MCU film AND compete with The Dark Knight. N one thought a film about B-List superhero, narcissistic billionaire, and straight up lush, Tony Stark, would amount to anything. How wrong everyone turned out to be. I knew, from that second i saw the teaser and concept art by Adi Granov, that Marvel was taking this sh*t crazy serious. Then there’s the casting of Robert Downey Jr. That sh*t was a boon, for real. The entire cast of this first film was impeccable but RDJ makes this movie. He IS Tony Stark. Even before he got comfortable with the character like in the later films, fresh out the box with the scripts, you can tell he knows how to bring this tinkerer to life. You had to nail that aspect in order to have any chance to  build something great and Marvel hit a goddamn bullseyes, for sure. Revisiting this flick, Iron Man isn’t as good as the later films in the Infinity Saga but it still holds up against the vast majority of entries and that’s saying something.

I love these films, man. As a geek growing up reading these stories, reenacting them with their action figures, sitting glued to the television every Saturday as their cartoons aired, I never imagined id see such a berth of fantastic media brought to life on the silver screen. Seriously, some of my favorite interpretations of these characters appear exclusive in the MCU. War Machine, Thor until recently, Ant-Man, f*cking Hulk? i never gave these assholes the time of day in the comics but in the MCU? They’re fantastic! And it has everything to do with how well written they are in-universe. There are over twenty films in this run an i love all of them to varying extents. Spider-Man: Far From Home, Black Panther, Captain America: Civil War, Avengers: Endgame, Thor: Ragnarok, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 all could have made this list. For sure, they’re 6 - 11 or whatever, but that speaks to the sheer depth of the MCU. I’m not even counting flicks i would consider B-tier like Captain Marvel or Avengers or Iron Man 3 or Doctor Strange; All of which are still dope in their own right.

There is just SO much great in these films and i can’t wait to see where we go next. With Disney acquiring Fox, Marvel finally has the full toy box to play with and i am absolutely a tizzy with the potential arcs they can adapt. Secret Wars? Annihilation? Age of Apocalypse? Avengers Disassembled? Dark Reign? F*cking Onslaught?? I have no idea where we are going but i am, for sure, jumping on this pain train once again.

[strawberryspeachy]

So when i watched death note in high school it made me curious about real japanese police work. I read about it alot and came to the conclusion that their justice system isnt too great.

Im currently upset that a coworker who i took as a friend - not only disliked me all along - but went as far as to lie about me to get me in trouble. That no one cared to hear my side. That i was fired on the spot. That people turned their back on me immediately. That no one cares.

Well. 17 year old me would have said. But of course. In Japan your guilty until proven innocent. That japanese put on a show but dont truely like most people. That they band together and will go out of their way to avoid any kind of conflict. That they care more about a pretty appearance than solving anything. 17 year old me that only heard and read about Japan knew these things. 17 year old me imagined this cool different country that works because theyre proud of this... performance way that they live. And i was amused by it. All i knew was america and european history. I was so hungry for something different. I was so interested in different people.

Then I went to Japan. I got here and it was too similar to manga. How silly, i thought, those a comics - i didnt actually expect the country to be like those comics. And ive never really been able to place what that made me feel but id grown past this bemusement of different “alien like” people. Theyre just people who live in another country i thought. I dont like america and our norms. I know nothing but america but i dont agree with any of our steriotypes. You cant describe me the way most would try to describe a typical american. So why would people from any other country be different. Im sure theres people like the sterotype - but certainly more not at all like that.

And i got here and i watched the smiles on service workers slowly fade when they thought no one was watching. I watched children put trash where it didnt belong thinking no one was watching. I was girls laugh loudly and run around and yell at their boyfriends. I watched drunk college kids hollar and reak havoc in the city. Not robot people, not obedient children, not, quiet and demure girls listening to the men, not studious students worried about their reputation. Just people. The same people i saw back home.

And so i thought. Its the same. Different history. Varrying values. Same old people - judgmental and watching everyone ready to scold them if they deem it necessary.

But that guilty until prooven innocent thing. The fact that the old way of caring about your reputation is still a solid work practice.

These things. Make me feel like... i guess.... to my dissapointment. Maybe america really is more free...

I dont want that to be true. The us is so full of itself. Just like healthcare. I want universal health care to be a good thing and at very least in japan its not really. Its better. Its more affordable. Maybe their problem is just how much they hate drugs and thats what stops real care.

But. Ive always been a cautious person - i just dont want to get in trouble. But ive never thought id be in a situation i couldnt talk my way out of - because i dont do anything super bad. Maybe sometimes ive pressed the limits - but never outside of... like i drank underage. I tried to get into bars i wasnt old enough for. Ive dodged paying for the train fare. Dumb things. Things that the worse that would happen is i gotta pay it somehow or id get scolded. Drinking under age is against us law but its almost never taken too seriously.

But its occurred to me. Yeah. In japan it is guilty until prooven innocent. I really could have gotten in legal trouble for baseless allegations.

And japan is as racist and people say. Theyre friendly and try to talk to you in english and say nice things. And it doesnt seem like racism to a person from the states. Out racist look at you with digust. They wont touch you. They wont talk to you. They dont want to know about you

But here... it takes the form of a racist parent who grew up in the 50s and knows that theyre not supposed to be racist but still is.

Theyre welcoming and friendly to your face but talk shit behind your back. They ask a bunch of questions like (in america “where are you really from”) they refuse to accept you might actually belong. They constantly want to assert how different you are so instesd of telling you that your different - they ask questions or explain what theyre doing. And if you say ‘yes we also do this’ they react with disbeleif - what? No! You couldnt possibly get this - this is our thing and you are not us! And they constantly ask if you miss your home. Assume that you’re uncomfortable because they are. Also also. Instred of not wanting to touch you here - theyre much more willing to push you out of the way

Theres many mixed race kids here now though. I assume theyll have to do the same thing that happened in America. I havent met any mixed race adults but ive met plenty of white dads.... all trying super hard to assimilate to the point that they walk around talking like robots. Swearing that everything japan is great and they dont miss their home cointries at all. Pretty similar to the immigrants of america from when my mom was a kid.

So i still think at least for japan. Theyre way more similar to the west than they think they are. But these restricting regulations that they live by... really does make the country seem not as free as id ignorantly beleived it was.

It surprised me because their rules are so much like the way my great grandmother talked about stuff. And while were supposed to care... we just dont in the states. Respect your employer? Sure we say we do to their face but talk shit with coworkers. Worry about your reputation? Eh think im a bitch i dont give a fuck whatcha gonna do about it? Nothing thats right. Dont like another person? No one cares. Like that person or dont - it doesnt change anyone elses relationship with them. Make a mistake? Well if your boss fires you - everyone already probably thinks their an asshole cause generally mistakes are just met with some form of dickwaving belittlement. Pretty sure most of us get mad everytime we hear a story about someone getting fired because they posted a picture of them in a bikiki or having fun - most of this generation agrees thats dumb and has to change.

I feel more like an american now than ever. Americans are reluctant to change im told. Yes. I suppose we are. We might not know the rest of the worlds history but we kinda know our own. And as much as ive alwags agreed with the sentiment that cultures are different and thats just the way they want to be.... we used to be these ways but decided it was restrictive and controlling and mentally abusive and fought it...

Ive been reading more about the work culture in japan to figure out how he fuck this went so wrong. Apparently when young japanese people enter the work force, they cant even have friends as distractions outside of work because their boss will move them away from home.

Ive already read that japanese think suffering is good and seniority and witness first hand their preoccupation of appearing busy over actually being productive. Its just this constant performance.

Perhaps i did stress him out to the point of physical pain. I remember having a massive meltdown where i shook and it felt like my brain was melting after i tried so hard to be a good nice person. I did whag people apparently like. I changed myself to just agree with people and be positive and assume the best in everyone. Then my “friend” told me that i was a bad friend because i asked them if they would people drive their friends home so i could to sleep at 4am. And the two things just didnt click. I didnt go to sleep that night. I sat at my desk shaking for the next 5 hours and having flashbacks.

Im talkative. I talk as much as i do here in real life. And i have alot of questions. I talked to him a lot. Made him look not busy. I know he liked talking to me. I know he did. Thats why i got confortable talking more. He was always surprised when i asked him questions about himself but once he started answering he kept talking. Yeah. Its nice to have someone ask you what your thoughts are on topics. What your experiences have been. Did you like those things or not. I know japan it a group think culture - i guess they get there by really draining out ANY idea of individualality. He told me hed never been asked what he likes about himself. In the us were asked that constantly from elementary school “what do you like about yourself. What do you like about your friend. What makes you different?”

It kinda baffles me... questions and thoughts like these are so common in anime.... and obviously anime is popular in japan. Obviously obviously. Im confused how theyre watching these programs often with such deep meanings.... and not taking anything away from them. In the states our tv programs are always being restricted and stuff because they might give us “bad ideas” but they aren’t restricted here and yet... it seems no one takes anything from them

When i visited japan in 2013 i saw a teenage girl in huge heels lose her balance and stomp on a middle aged womans foot. That woman had already been standing like her feet were in pain and she made a face of being in so much pain. The girl rudely didn’t apologize and the older woman said nothing. She smiled through her pain...

And i also complained to my coworker. Not full on complaining. The small ones you make at work when youre not sure of the extent you can go to. At first he held off like the other teachers. But. Then. He started complaining back. It got to me not needing to be the one say an annoyance first. Like i asked how his meeting was. Other people i worked with might leave it ah it was a bit slow but necessary. And he started that way. But instead he started responding to me a succession of statements the slowly crept more toward his real feelings. ‘It was good... we didnt do much... or anything, i just sat and listened and took notes. we dont learn anything, it takes up a lot of time but we have to go. I dont like those meetings. I dont know their pupose... but were told to go so we must’

Whatever. Im just gonna keep rambling and complaining about this cause it sucks and is awful. Contracted woth my company i wasnt allowed to publically critisize japan. I imagine thats why you dont often find many things on the internet complaining. You will literally be unemployable if your name is attached to critisisms of this country.

Where as everyone can come to the states and tell us to our faces how much we suck and how much cooler their countries are. And generally the younger general is just kinda like - ‘you right’ people write articles all the time shit talking the states and we just go ‘ya we deserve that’ we do. Im not saying dont do that... but like... maybe just maybe. Were doing the good thing where were like

Haha call us fat! We are fat. We love us some mcdonalds. Hm.... why though. Actually we need to fix that. Why are people eating so unhealthy? What is the underlying cause of this problem? Lets try to work on that - and then we fight amoungst ourselves.

I like that... i like thay thing we do

In the states you might not want to become a ‘whistleblower’ and in some industrys you might get black listed for something dumb. But at least we talk about it and agree its a problem. In japan no one wants to even admit they have problems.

Know what else i told him. I talked about how were overworked in the states. That our work culture has gotten too similar to japans and we hate it. No one working 80 hour weeks thinks that they should have to do that. Of course i didnt go about it that way. I told him that my friends back home work 80 hour weeks and its unhealthy. That i cant work that much and refuse to. He i imagine counted how many hours he works and laughed and i said - oh haha yea i guess you also work that much. And he looked so much like he wanted to cry about it in the same way my friends back home. But said its natural in japan and that hes gotten used to it. But he definitely didnt mean it as he said it. I told him my friends say that as well. That i think theyre workaholics and i personally cant do it. That when work calls them they always pick up the phone even when they dont want to. But i dont do that. When my job called me as a server id ignore it and call them back later when it was too late for me to be asked to come in and ask them what they wanted.

Maybe to him my stories felt like when i read about students in europe being allowed to not go to school without reprucussions. It made HAVING to go to school evem more annoying. Why cant we choose to take breaks? I heard that place doesnt have homework - meanwhile im given at least 6 hours work a night! Not everyone has to do this? Other places learn things for fun?? They dont have to keep up with standardized exams that dont account for different teachers and school districts?? A 50% in that country isnt a failing grade???

Those were already shitty things but to read about them not bein universal did make having to endure it more upsetting.

Doesnt change that im stoll upset with him for not saying anything to me. Doesnt change that im mad that he made stuff up.

Really me rambling on about this doesnt change my presepective on any of it. Im just bitching

[mizmahlia]

Hey sis, so, umm, if you don't mind another ask, i am really curious about your take on Joker jr. aftermath in Batman Beyond: Return of The Joker universe? Id say some heavy angst 😉 but seriously, how did Bruce and Alfred, and especially Tim handle that? And/or staying in the same universe, did Bruce meet Tim again after the movie? And if so how did it go? Sorry if thats too incoherent ;) Have a nice day 💕

I’ll never mind asks like this, especially from you, Sis! 💗 

For the purposes of this post, I won’t touch too much on the similarities I found between this movie and the Batman Arkham Knight comics, but it’s definitely something I find interesting. Things would get reallyangsty if I started comparing the two. 😉

As it stands, this is gonna get pretty angsty, so I’m putting it under a cut.

*takes a deep breath*

Here we go.

Even as resilient as children can be, in the immediate aftermath of such horrible trauma, I find it hard to believe Tim would fully resemble who he was before he was kidnapped, and he would carry some effects from Joker and Harley’s torture with him for the rest of his life. The injuries, like any burns from electroshock or physical torture, depending on what they did to him, would have healed eventually. But I still think Tim would have been left with scars, despite being under Leslie Thompkin’s excellent care.

Take a quick peek at this, which was part of the video Joker showed to Batman:

There are lots of strange things on that table but for this, take note of the items that are circled.

The main reason I mentioned Tim having scars is we can see the cigarette and ash tray on the table, circled in red. I believe Joker may have used it to burn Tim, since neither he nor Harley smoke. That alone is horrific. But also take note of what’s circled in yellow. I’m guessing those are various mental health medications, which Harley would have access to. I won’t speculate what the medications were for or how they work, as I’m only familiar with some anti-depressants. But based on what happened to Jason Todd in the Arkham Knight comics, I think the meds could have been used to make Tim suggestable by screwing with his brain and body chemistry. When you can’t determine what’s real and what’s a hallucination, you may start believing whatever gets the torture to stop.

In order for Tim to cope with the psychological trauma, he would need more help than Dr. Thompkins can provide. She may recognize signs of anxiety and/or PTSD, but a medical doctor alone usually doesn’t treat those kinds of things. Bruce would have to get more people involved to help Tim work through everything.

Tim’s a smart kid. We all know that. As much as he would likely recognize he needs help? He’s still a kid. Even adults shouldn’t try to take on dealing with things like this on their own. The smartest thing Bruce did was end Tim’s career as a vigilante. We sometimes gripe about or call Bruce out on making unilateral decisions for this family, but this is one that needed to be made. And I like to think it’s one they all agreed with.

I can’t imagine what it would have been like for Tim once Bruce and Barbara got him out of there. I think it would have taken a few days for it to sink in that being back with them was actually real and not some twisted hallucination.  He would have stayed awake as long as possible to avoid nightmares, only sleeping when he collapsed from exhaustion or was given something to help him sleep. Bruce likely couldn’thave left Tim’s sight and probably slept as near to Bruce as possible.

And once Tim either found out or remembered he killed the Joker, it could trigger another whole set of emotions and complications. Guilt. Being ashamed. Anger. Feeling like a failure, that he let Bruce down again because being kidnapped wasn’t enough, but then he killed someone, too. From what I’ve read, it’s something people carry with them the rest of their lives in one way or another. Despite the Joker being so completely evil, hopefully Tim would take that into consideration. I like to think he would. It might make the burden of him taking a life somewhat easier to bear.

Whether or not Tim would have continued to have ties with Bruce and Alfred in the weeks and months after is tough to answer. I think it’s definitely possible. But I think Tim would have needed to leave Gotham to sort himself out. It’s not a city most of us would think to be a healthy place to work through such trauma, considering the near-constant crime and the sheer number of villains.

And seeing Bruce going out as Batman and not going along as Robin?

I think that would have been just as tough to handle as what the Joker put him through.

[misas-biggest-fan]

some detailed thoughts on an LABB movie w a ‘read more’ bc i have A Lot To Say

i want it to be a movie bc i love movies

im also open to the concept of a mini series but a full tv show might be a challenging stretch

animated or live action would both be incredible and both have their unique pros and cons

the whole thing is DISTINCTLY LA

busy streets and palm trees and the Hollywood sign and the shiny, overly false glamour of everything

would really contrast well with Rue Ryuzaki’s disturbing fake-ness

like he’s just as fake as the whole city, that both he and Hollywood have on this costume to hide tragedy and hideous deeds

i want it to have the glitz and glam and extravagance of the recent gatsby movie (which i adore, dont come for me)

if bahz luhrmann doesn’t direct i will RIOT id die for bahz luhrmann he’s Good and he has the same energy and chaotic attitude of beyond birthday himself

i want beyond to have a scene like the one where Nick realizes who Gatsby is and Gatsby turns around with the champagne flute and the fireworks go off in slow motion as he smiles that’s my favorite shot in all of cinematic history no joke

it’s HIGHLY STYLIZED. i want bright colors and weird aesthetic choices

I also want some shockingly beautiful frames of LA and surprisingly sophisicated shots of Beyonds face lit up in different neon colors or something

Indie enough to be weird and fun but pop enough to be easily digestible

it opens with mello writing his book (like moulin rouge!! a;lsdjfk)

his burn scars are just healing and he knows he’ll die soon so he has to write down all his important memories, leave something behind

he wants to write down something important to him, something that he can leave for Near, something that might put his own life and actions into context

something that might help other people understand who he was more

so of course, he thinks of beyond

who he respects and admires and pities

who has such a similar and yet different story from Mello’s own

so maybe in understanding beyond and understanding how mello feels about beyond

people will understand mello

near will understand mello

so mello gets to work detailing this story his incredible mentor L once told him, describing this beautiful memory he has of meeting with and talking to L and how L told him about Beyond

(in this scene, you don’t SEE L. you just get an idea of what he looks like, flashes and shots, so that the audience can know L well enough to still wonder about the identity Rue Ryuzaki throughout the movie)

and then of course, we dive into the story

Beyond is OVER THE TOP. he’s more than unsettling, he’s downright terrifying. but he’s still somehow intriguing and even charming at times, like he can turn the smoulder on and off at will. 

Hes a disaster nb, a fabulous hodgepodge of discarded gender roles and impressive makeup skills

Him practicing his evil laugh and trying so desperately to be this comic villain didjdjdje hes such a loser i love him that scene NEEDS to make an appearance

he and naomi’s chemistry is incredible to watch on screen because beyond dominates any scene he’s in unless naomi is there to challenge him because her acting is also so powerful that when they’re on screen together, it’s like you can’t tear your eyes away from this insane car wreck that is their relationship

and NAOMI

a;lksdfj;dlkfj naomi misora <3 <3 <3 <3 ok im ready

so naomi is also a powerful presence on screen, even though she’s not crawling on the ground or eating with her hands or you know whatever ridiculous garbage beyond is doing

more time is spent on her

her disastrous relationship with raye

her feelings over her suspension from the FBI

and really play up the whole jessica jones thing she’s got going on

i want black leather for DAYS

I want “gritty LA detective who’s on suspension from the FBI because she doesn’t play by the rules” or whatever except it’s a twist because not only is she not a man, like this trope usually calls for, but it turns out she was suspended because of her tenderness and humanity instead of her brutality

she still needs to have MULTIPLE fight scenes, a few with beyond and maybe even a few with other attackers, who she absolutely mops the floor with

but then she and beyond have a scene where they fight against someone together

he’s not a good fighter. she mostly has to save his butt every time but he’s just happy to be there and probably keeps saying stuff like ‘wow misora you’re amazing!’ and she’s like ‘?!?! ryuzaki you loser?1?! run?!?’

and of course, there’s enough twists and changes from the book to keep everyone on their toes, but GOOD changes

like maybe we go back to mello a few times and he has more of his own subplot where his relationship to near is revealed more fully, that he wants near to understand him and he wants to reach out to near emotionally in this way

contrast mello’s story with beyond’s so when we learn beyond’s full story at the end, he and mello are revealed to be foils of each other

we get shots of wammy’s house and we see a and beyond interact and we see beyond’s life-destroying grief over a’s death

we get contrasting shots of wammy’s with mello and near and we’re allowed to hope that maybe they can be happier

A and beyond become something of a subplot leading up to as death but you dont entirely realize who beyond is until the big reveal at the end

maybe beyond does some more unsettling things that are just as creepy and in-character but are a terrible surprise for those who’ve already read the book!! i can’t imagine what other horrific thing he could do to scare naomi, but there’s got to be something

i’m rly into bday massacre bc i love naomi and beyond’s rly twisted relationship so i’d love to see more of him being in awe of her, more of them connecting, more of beyond opening up to her even. maybe she tells him a little bit about her suspension. just a little.

also if we could like clean up some of the plot holes in this joint pls and thank you

id even be ok if it’s insinuated that he self-sabotaged a little, on a conscious level or not, bc i feel like that wouldn’t be tooooooo ooc i mean, he’s a hot mess. most of this is just a really twisted cry for help anyway, at least in my interpretation. he wants people to realize he’s suffering. he just… can’t do it in a normal or healthy way :/

beyond pls a;lkdfj

Anyway. Theres also a boppin soundtrack

Fire is a big motif. Maybe make a connection between wildfires in CA and beyond using this case to self-destruct

A little more closure at the end. Thats part of the drive behind my bday massacre fanfic rn is that i feel like he and naomi never got any real closure on the traumatizing, like, week or two they spent together

I also want more closure on naomi as a character arc. I want her to dump rayes sorry butt and i want her to have had some sort of real internal change. None of this “she picks up her life where she left off and never thinks abt beyond again”

Of course, L is revealed and has his glorious little spill down the concrete subway stairs. Its What He Deserves :)

And of course we have to make the obvious contrast between both beyond and mello having survived serious burn injuries its just another thing that makes them such interestingly comparable characters

If Naomi visits Beyond in prison to say goodbye, i wouldnt be opposed. If they made my fanfiction into a movie i wouldnt be opposed

Mello prints out his book in the mafia hideout, his arms folded and waiting as paper after paper comes out, just begging any of these mafia dudes to mock him for liking to write. None of them do. Its a funny moment tho

He debates sending it to near, feeling so awkward and prideful, but he finally does it, leaving instructions for it to reach near after his death.

In the end, naomi and beyond are revealed to be dead at the same time as near receives the package from his dear mello

Naomi and beyond were doomed, and so were beyond and a, but now… near has mellos last love letter to him, cryptically begging him to try to understand. And so theres hope that although the rest of these relationships were doomed, maybe near can still have one piece of mello and be happy